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wizardfrog69 · 1 year

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୨⎯ "Crocheting/knitting hobby (bsd)" ⎯୧

Basically if you had a crocheting/knitting hobby. also mostly platonic

Also requests are wide open if you want me to write about anything! :)

Feat. Fukuzawa, Yosano, Atsushi, Kunikida, Jun'ichirō, Kenji, Kyōka, Dazai, Ranpo, Katai Tayama, Ace, Chuuya,Chuuya's hat, Kōyō, Arthur, Akutagawa, Higuchi, Hirotsu, Kajii, Oda, Ango, Fitzgerald, Karl, Fyodor, Ivan Goncharov, Nikolai, Sigma

Yukichi Fukuzawa:

Omg he loves the fact that you could make him a scarf

Mike him a scarf btw

He loves it

Also make tiny hats and scarfs for the cats

Love's them also <3

Akiko Yosano:

If you make her anything then she would wear it everywhere

Shows off what you made

Is proud

Atsushi Nakajima:

Please make him like a sweater or something

Yk he'll wear it 24/7

Doesn't he have like one pair of clothes?

Idk just make him something

Doppo Kunikida:

Is proud that you have such useful skills

I don't think he needs anything

But if you make him something then he'll wear it when necessary

Would probably prefer it over his other things of the same use

Jun'ichirō Tanizaki:

Love's, absolutely adores your skill

Make him a shit tone of sweaters and he'll wear every last one of them 24/7

Love's everything you make

Idk why but I feel like he would know how to knit

Will knit you shit aswell

Kenji Miyazawa:

I'm gonna assume that people in his village used to crochet/knit cuz its such a common thing and you would need those skills to make cloths

Whenever you knit/crochet he will sit there are just stare

It's mesmerising to watch someone do such a thing

Pls make him a little cow teddy

Kyōka Izumi:

And you make her a bunny teddy

Also loves to watch

Will thank you politely after you make her something

She will be very grateful

Osamu Dazai:

I'm sorry but watching people crochet or knit is so mesmerising

Watches your every move while you do your thing

Will ask you to make him stuff

Asked you to make him a rope 🥰

Ranpo Edogawa:

Doesn't care ????

I feel like he wouldn't care much

Still appreciates the things you make him but wouldn't really care

Katai tayama:

Bro make him like a blanket or something

Idk why but he's silly rn

My brain thinks he's silly rn

Make him a blanket tho

I just realised it sounds like I'm forcing you to make all of these things

Ace:

Mans will gamble all that shit away

Sorry babes your talent is wasted with him

Chuuya Nakahara:

Crochet a flower for his hat

Idc for him just his hat

Chuuya's hat:

It enjoys the flowers you make it

And other little things

Decorate the hat

Hat enjoys your company

You and the hat are getting married now

Chuuya is invited to the wedding

Runs off with his hat and asks the hat to never leave his side

Now you are in a relationship with chuuya's hat and chuuya

You can make chuuya like new gloves or something idc

Kōyō Ozaki:

Idk what you could make this beautiful lady

Maybe a scarf or something

Arthur Rimbaud:

Use that extra thick wool for his things

Make him a scarf. Gloves. Hat, socks and everything

This man is freezing to death 24/7

Ryūnosuke Akutagawa:

Whatever you do use black yarn

He doesn't really need anything

Maybe a scarf (such an original idea ik)

Ichiyō Higuchi:

Loves everything thing you make

Respectfully shows off what you made

Ryūrō Hirotsu:

I forgot who this is 💀

Nvm it's the old guy

Like idk just like idk

Motojiro Kajii:

Make him lemon scented lemons

To me this guys personality is just lemons

Sakunosuke Oda:

You better be using those skills to make the kids winter clothes

He adores you and he loves what you can do

Ango Sakaguchi:

Man wouldn't even realise

He's too busy working

Francis Scott Fitzgerald:

He fond your skills useful when he was in his poor era 😍

Karl:

Make this racoon some tiny socks or something

Or a cute little hat

Fyodor Dostoevsky:

Make little cloths for his rats or something idk

Make him this:

Ivan Goncharov:

He needs a nice hat

Nikolai Gogol:

And he needs a silly hat

Sigma:

Bones ruined him

Like wtf is his character design? The hair is too light the shoes are not shoeing

Like no one can walk in those shoes

Poor Sigma:(

Sorry I got too lazy to continue

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wannaseewhatshangin · 1 year

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Dallas when he first saw yo fine ass 🤭🥰🫶

PLEASE 💀 so you work at the DX with soda and Steve

LMFAO…boy literally-…boy literally thought he died.

“👁️🫦👁️”like..bitin his lip and shit ahh 😌 “hey dally whatcha starin at?”

“Nothinguhhh”

Is still head over heels 3 days after he saw you.

It’s cute…but…

Boy is literally asking soda to take him to the DX EVERYDAY.

“Bruh get in the car, you might as well live at the DX”

“………🫢…can I?” “💀no tf”

“Bro fr tho I’m hungry I just want to get a snack” “I can get it for you what you want?”

“Nooo-uhhh I wanna do ittuhhh” (it’s the whining like a 5 yr old fo me 💀”

You WILL catch him checking you out.

And when you do catch him he is like

LMFAO 😭💀

And when the guys tease him about you he is like this

AHH 💀💀

I FUCKING can’t

Look now…he has a starin problem? No

Your just beautiful….And dat ass is PHAT (😭forgive me I had to)

He will LITERALLY push away any other broads just for you.

Two but be like “..wtf is up whichu” “wdym?”

“…..you just blew off that babe that was a WILLING participant”

“I know..” “oohhhh this is about y/nnn”

“Shut upuhhh”

You got him like 😩

Lmaoooo

Boy literally got you flowers and put them on your doorstep and DIPPED like mf RAN.

And he didn’t even STEAL them this time.. mf BOUGHT them 😭💀

He thinks about you ALL THE TIME.

“Guys he’s blushing again” *waves hand in front of his face and mf don’t even blink*

“Aww he thinking about y/nnn” boy only comes out of his trance when he hears your name. “Y/n is coming over?!”

Sodapop is like “no 💀”

“Well tell her to come over dummy” “…damn you down bad fo her “

“…shut upppuhh 😫”

You do end up coming over duh.

“Hey dally there’s your boo thang” “soda…shut up”

If you sit next to him he will literally die..in a good way.

The rest of the boys trying to call him out in front of you.

“You are always blushing around her” “no I’m not pfff tf”

*blushes AGAIN*

When he asks you to be his girlfriend omggg.

Boy literally made a little blanket fort in his room. (BTW you are NEVER too old for forts…if you think that your age determines weather or not you can make a fort…RESPECTFULLY get off of earth. Love ya)

Cuddles ALL THE WAY 🤭🤭

Got him like “🤭🤭🤭😩😩🥵😩😫😫😍😍😍😊☺️🤗🤗🤗”

So cute.

OMGGG 🤭

He is LITERALLY head over heels

Y’all know that song head over heels by tears for fears?

That. That right there is the song.

Yk…THAT song

He literally will punch someone just for breathing in your direction.

Lady’s man yk what I’m sayin?

AH SO FUCKING CUTE 😩🤭😭😭

MF KISSES ALL THE TIME I DONT WANNA HEAR IT!!

Keep in mind that this is DALLAS WINSTON we are talking about. He’s still gonna do that “what? Man I ain’t goin soft” shit.

Yes he is. But he still a bad bitch doe 💀🤭

Has his hand on your ass during cuddles. Kisses, LITERALLY just hangin out.

With consent tho.

Chile anyway so…ahem..yeah that’s Dallas for ya. 💀😭

#dallas winston headcanons #dallas winston x reader #sodapop headcanons #80s #80s movies #ponyboy headcanons #ponyboy x reader #ponyboy curtis #sodapop x reader #the outsiders sodapop #outsiders headcanons #outsiders #outsiders fanfic #two bit headcanons #johnny cade headcanons #headcanons

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nattinatalia · 2 years

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Jack Harlow x Reader Instagram AU

Liked by yourusername, urbanwyatt, neelamthadhani, djdrama, and 9,677,345 others

jackharlow They say, “you a superstar now” damn, I guess I am.

View all 1,900 comments

yourusername Yes you are!!!!!!! ⭐️

yourusername Proud of you baby 🥹 sold out shows and everything, you deserve this and more. Continue taking over 🤞🏼🥳❤️

jackharlow I love you baby, thank you for sticking with me through it all.

yourusername Always, till the wheels fall off. Let’s get that out of the way, umm sirrrr that face on the second pic, I hope you were at least thinking about me 🤤

urbanwyatt What now????

yourusername He makes that face when he’s about to cum 🙈 🤤

claybornharlow WTF I didn’t need to know that.

yourusername We have 2 whole kids, how do you think they got here?????

claybornharlow I still don’t need to know the face my brother makes 🤮 now I can’t look at him

yourusername lmaaaooooo so is this a bad time to say we actually conceived little princess in your childhood bedroom?????

urbanwyatt OMFG 💀

druski2funnny 🤣🤣

claybornharlow WHAT THE FUCK ???? Jackman where the fuck are you at? You’re mighty quiet please tell me she’s just saying this to get me disgusted???

jackharlow Nope, bathroom too!!!!

yourusername 🤭🤭🤭🤭

claybornharlow I’m gonna tell mom you guys are nasty. How could you???? In my fucking room man??? Not cool 😩😩😩

jackharlow I’m pretty sure she knows since she washed your sheets the next day

urbanwyatt NAAAA YALL FOUL FOR THIS!!!

yourbestiename Baby, are you really talking???? When we’ve done worse.

urbanwyatt You’re right 😂😂😂😂

Liked by yourusername, jackharlow, urbanwyatt, yourbestiename, and 8,678,345 others

champagnepapi If I ever proposed I know you woulda said no just so you could have one up on me while I’m down on one knees.

View all 1,900 comments

yourbestiename DRAKEY POOH 🙈😍

urbanwyatt NO

yourbestiename Respectfully, no, no I wouldn’t. But then again, I would love to see you get on your knees, but that’s just me 🤷🏻‍♀️

champagnepapi 😳 📝

urbanwyatt BABE IM ABOUT TO SPANK YOUR ASS

yourbestiename Is that supposed to be a threat? Because it sounds more like a good time.

yourusername I have room for one more ring 💍 sooo I’ll probably say yes.

champagnepapi Jack is going to hate me

yourusername 🤫 He doesn’t need to know

jackharlow YOOOO BAABE NOOOO!!!

yourusername 🙈 We’ve been caught, y/bestie/name should we run away???

yourbestiename Only if Drake comes along.

champagnepapi 😂😂😂 The stories I’ve heard, y’all are wild and I’m cool with the one kid I have.

jackharlow My wife is a little freak 😋 and she also has a breeding kink, so I’ll keep her. Thanks.

urbanwyatt 🙄 You two play too damn much.

yourbestiename Stop telling people you’re down to have a hall pass then. Because if that’s the case, Drakey is ours!!!!!

jackharlow Ohhh so that’s what this is about 🙄

yourusername 🙈

champagnepapi If that’s the case then my dms are always open for you two ladies.

urbanwyatt Im about to block you from her phone.

jackharlow I will report your account. I better not see you in her dms. I love you but no!!!! Never gonna happen

yourbestiename YALL ARE BORING! All that talk for nothing.

Liked by jackharlow, yourbestiename, champagnepapi, maluma, badbunnypr, and 9,678,345 others

yourusername You got something I’m trying to experience.

View all 1,900 comments

jackharlow 🤤 lucky lucky me

yourusername Damn right 🤭

jackharlow Can you come upstairs real quick? While the kids are down for their nap.

yourusername No, you come down here 😉

jackharlow Shit, on my way! 🏃🏼 😛

claybornharlow YOU DO KNOW IM HERE RIGHT????

jackharlow Yea so?

claybornharlow WDYM SO?

jackharlow Either go outside or cover your ears.

claybornharlow WTF & IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM???? I’m out!!!!!!!!

champagnepapi 👀

jackharlow NO STAY BACK 🤺

@ yourusername added to her story

@ jackharlow added to his story

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux 💕

@harlowsbby 💕

@arination99 💕

@cmalass 💕

@jackharloww 💕

#instagram au #jack harlow #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow fic #jack harlow x yn #come home the kids miss you #urban wyatt

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mariana-oconnor · 1 year

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The Greek Interpreter pt 3

Back to Mr Melas and his mysterious plaster-faced man.

...as he opened the door of our room he gave a start of surprise. Looking over his shoulder, I was equally astonished. His brother Mycroft was sitting smoking in the arm-chair.

Given the fact that it seems as though earth's orbit through space is more erratic than Mycroft's schedule, and easier to divert, this is quite astonishing. Also... didn't they literally just leave him? The man must have moved like the wind.

"Here it is," said he, "written with a J pen on royal cream paper by a middle-aged man with a weak constitution. 'Sir,' he says, 'in answer to your advertisement of to-day's date, I beg to inform you that I know the young lady in question very well. If you should care to call upon me I could give you some particulars as to her painful history. She is living at present at The Myrtles, Beckenham. Yours faithfully, J. Davenport.'"

Is she really living there at present? Mr Davenport? Is she? are you sure she isn't living somewhere else right now?

Also, lol at Mycroft being sure to put in the type of pen and the fact that the writer is middle-aged and has a weak constitution.

It was almost dark before we found ourselves in Pall Mall, at the rooms of Mr Melas. A gentleman had just called for him, and he was gone.

What? The man who was told he would be in grave danger if he told anyone, and then you broadcast the fact he had told people in all the daily papers is missing? I'm sure this is absolutely fine and in no way at all worrying. Definitely not connected to the fact that you broadcast the fact that he had told people the villain's secret in the newspaper.

Mr Melas is totally fine.

"He wasn't a tall, handsome, dark young man?" "Oh, nor, sir. He was a little gentleman, with glasses, thin in the face, but very pleasant in his ways, for he was laughing al the time that he was talking."

Well shucks. Who could have foreseen this? No way to have stopped it. Absolutely unpredictable circumstances here. No one to blame. No one at all. It was impossible to foresee this turn of events.

"He is a man of no physical courage, as they are well aware from their experience the other night. This villain was able to terrorise him the instant that he got into his presence. No doubt they want his professional services, but, having used him, they may be inclined to punish him for what they will regard as his treachery."

Excuse me? 'no physical courage', wtf is that supposed to mean? How is courage physical, for one, and secondly, did we listen to the same story? Where he managed to get information from the prisoner without alerting the bad guys even though he was scared. Then afterwards, rather than staying quiet for his own safety he brought the tale to the attention of people he thought could help? Wtf do you consider courage, Holmes? And then he just went about his day, knowing his life had been threatened? no physical courage?

Gonna have to respectfully disagree on this point.

Also 'they may be inclined to punish him for [...] his treachery'? You think?

So weird that no one seems to have seen this coming. Like, my dudes, you took an ad out in the paper. In the era when everyone (except Holmes) reads the paper. What did you think was going to happen?

On reaching Scotland Yard, however, it was more than an hour before we could get Inspector Gregson and comply with the legal formalities which would enable us to enter the house.

'We can't go in without a search warrant' is an age old complaint, it seems. I love that this is in here.

"You may have observed the same wheel-tracks going the other way. But the outward-bound ones were very much deeper--so much so that we can say for a certainty that there was a very considerable weight on the carriage." "You get a trifle beyond me there," said the inspector, shrugging his shoulder.

Little sad for Gregson that this is 'beyond' him. This is one of the clearest and simplest pieces of evidence we've seen Holmes provide.

"It is a mercy that you are on the side of the force, and not against it, Mr Holmes," remarked the inspector, as he noted the clever way in which my friend had forced back the catch. "Well, I think that under the circumstances we may enter without an invitation."

Yes. Because you got that search warrant... that you mentioned before. Not by name, exactly. But you got legal right to enter the property. So... you can enter the property? Unless you still needed an invitation even with that, but if you had an invitation wouldn't you already have right to enter? Or maybe they were legally only supposed to enter while someone was present.

He dashed up, the inspector and I at his heels, while his brother Mycroft followed as quickly as his great bulk would permit.

Did Watson mention that Mycroft is fat? I'm not sure he did.

Peering in, we could see that the only light in the room came from a dull blue flame which flickered from a small brass tripod in the centre. It threw a livid, unnatural circle upon the floor, while in the shadows beyond we saw the vague loom of two figures which crouched against the wall. From the open door there reeked a horrible poisonous exhalation which set us gasping and coughing.

Well this is horrifying. Slowly gassing people to death. These guys are really horrible. Such a terrible way to kill someone. Are they trying to make it seem like an accident?

"Where is a candle? I doubt if we could strike a match in that atmosphere. Hold the light at the door and we shall get them out, Mycroft, now!"

Because an open flame is... better than a match? I do not understand this logic.

The other, who was secured in a similar fashion, was a tall man in the last stage of emaciation, with several strips of sticking-plaster arranged in a grotesque pattern over his face. He had ceased to moan as we laid him down, and a glance showed me that for him at least our aid had come too late. Mr Melas, however, still lived, and in less than an hour, with the aid of ammonia and brandy I had the satisfaction of seeing him open his eyes, and of knowing that my hand had drawn him back from that dark valley in which all paths meet.

RIP Paul. They really fucked you over with that newspaper ad, didn't they? Your full name just out there in the world, being suspicious. Or maybe you outlived your usefulness to them.

Glad Mr Melas is okay, and it's nice to see Watson using his expertise to save the day a little bit. Even if the circumstances are pretty awful. This story is pretty dark, especially compared to the blue carbuncle goose chase (even with its brief commentary on the prison system) and the yellow face was pretty optimistic, even if I feel like everyone needed a lot of therapy. Here we have a man imprisoned, tortured and then gassed to death. And another almost suffering the same fate.

Watson's poetic turn of phrase softens it a little, but also makes it a bit more melacholy. Bleak, I think is the word I would use for this one.

His visitor, on entering his rooms, had drawn a life-preserver from his sleeve, and had so impressed him with the fear of instant and inevitable death that he had kidnapped him for the second time. Indeed, it was almost mesmeric, the effect which this giggling ruffian had produced upon the unfortunate linguist, for he could not speak of him save with trembling hands and a blanched cheek.

I am informed that a life-preserver is a type of bludgeon. And this little giggling man sounds utterly terrifying. I would absolutely do whatever he said if he threatened to bludgeon me to death. Watson seems surprised that Mr Melas is suffering from trauma. I get that Watson's a little... unhinged? regarding life or death situations, but between this and the lacking physical courage comment from before. Rude. Guy almost dies multiple times and it's definitely partially their fault for not trying to protect him. And they're busy judging him for going along with it.

And now we get a bit of an exposition dump.

...the unfortunate young lady came of a wealthy Grecian family, and that she had been on a visit to some friends in England. While there she had met a young man named Harold Latimer, who had acquired an ascendancy over her and had eventually persuaded her to fly with him. Her friends, shocked at the event, had contented themselves with informing her brother at Athens, and had then washed their hands of the matter.

A+ friends she has there. Wow.

'Acquired an ascendancy over her' is such a poetic turn of phrase for 'manipulated and controlled her'. This whole story is tragic and horrible. And so dark.

The brother, on his arrival in England, had imprudently placed himself in the power of Latimer and of his associate, whose name was Wilson Kemp—that through his ignorance of the language he was helpless in their hands, had kept him a prisoner, and had endeavoured by cruelty and starvation to make him sign away his own and his sister's property.

Seriously, this is horrible. Oh look, these people have no support system and no way to communicate, let's take advantage of them and torture them and no one will care. If it wasn't for Mr Melas, no one would even have thought to look.

...the plaster over the face had been for the purpose of making recognition difficult in case she should ever catch a glimpse of him. Her feminine perception, however, had instantly seen through the disguise when, on the occasion of the interpreter's visit, she had seen him for the first time.

'Her feminine perception'... i.e. the disguise was terrible and she actually knew what her brother looked like. Feminine perception. Maybe I should argue that in the next D&D session 'my character's female so I should get advantage on perception checks, Sherlock Holmes says so.' Lolol. This is made more amusing to me by the fact that I am both female and well-regarded as being one of the least observant people most of my friends and family know. My mother makes a game of it sometimes 'can you tell what's different in this room?'

No. The answer is always no.

Months afterwards a curious newspaper cutting reached us from Buda-Pesth. It told how two Englishmen who had been travelling with a woman had met with a tragic end. They had each been stabbed, it seems, and the Hungarian police were of opinion that they had quarrelled and had inflicted mortal injuries upon each other. Holmes, however, is, I fancy, of a different way of thinking, and holds to this day that, if one could find the Grecian girl, one might learn how the wrongs of herself and her brother came to be avenged.

Fuck yeah, Sophy. Stab them. I hope they knew it was you as they died. There is at least a little satisfaction in that. There's a whole story in those last few sentences which would be an epic revenge tale.

I had genuinely forgotten how many of these stories end with things happening off screen without Holmes or Watson being involved. This is another case where the villains get their justice meted out extra-legally, but this time it at least seems to have been a result of their actions rather than divine intervention. The point of the stories is clearly the method not the resolution.

It's... not satisfying. And like I mentioned before, it's a really dark tale. I didn't not remember it ending so horrifically. Also Sophy's friends are all terrible and should be ashamed of themselves.

I watched Magpie Murders on the BBC this week and the whole thing revolves around the fact that the last chapter of a whodunnit is missing. They say multiple times that it's the most important part of the book, and I don't necessarily disagree, but its strange to see in these stories, which were not the first mystery stories but early in the genre's evolution where the emphasis lies. Whodunnit is important, but the comeuppance clearly isn't. And even the who isn't as important as how Holmes gets there.

The slight mentions of mesmerism are interesting, and could totally be rolled into my 'Holmes but supernatural' alternate universe, where Kemp is accomplished at mind-control. That would make it even darker, if anything though.

This whole thing is just a tragedy from start to end.

Copper Beeches next - and I've read that one many times. Copper Beeches and the Solitary Cyclist used to be my favourites as a kid. I'll be interested to see how much I remember. Also, it'll be interesting to see what current!me makes of past!me's taste.

#Letters from Watson #Sherlock Holmes #The Greek Interpreter #long post #This one is bleak #people taking advantage of immigrants because they have no support system and no way to communicate #And the fact that if they'd just thought to keep an eye on Melas they could have followed him and got there in time

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ryttu3k · 8 months

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Onwards to Act 2! First, to the northwest for Lae'zel to have a family reunion!

Lookin' sharp.

First, an encounter on the road! Lady Esther manages to piss off Lae'zel...

Then piss off Tae...

Then, well, Tae went "yeah you know what drow and githyanki are quite violent :)" and killed her.

Listen she had it coming.

Some Party Bantz.

Made it to the temple, had a fun Kobold adventure. Only one actually exploded after using a fire spell!

Met the murderkitties. Reloaded to leave them be because wtf they're just chilling I'm not going to fight them.

Met some large friends. Well, not friends. Tae just respectfully nodding, scurrying over to inspect the device, then scuttling back again.

(I goddamn loved her delivery.)

So turns out this result turns into a fight!

I ended up reloading, asked to play instead, and stuffed the entire crate into Tae's pack. Hurried back to the murderkitties room and (tried to) set it free, then, uh, had to haul ass and jump over a gap to get it to stop trying to murderkitty Tae. Look, the poor thing was entirely justified in being Rather Unhappy!

Lae'zel has stuff to say about githyanki reproducing via egg-hatching...

(Shadowheart in the background: *eyes emoji*)

...and of the, uh. Somewhat violent githyanki upbringing.

More importantly: plot.

Brain just going "DON'T DO IT."

Narrow escape. Lots of approvals.

Shadowheart remains spectacularly unsurprised.

After fighting our way out of the dorms (which genuinely made me feel bad, some of them were just kids!) and into the captain's office (felt less bad about that one), a meeting with the Inquisitor and, well...

She scary. (Tae did actually kneel, but I felt the highlighted response in my heart.)

Curiosity won.

Hey this is concerning!!

Anyway I didn't actually take any caps inside the Astral Realm but oh my goodness it was pretty. Anyway, finally had a face-to-face encounter! Please stop being all 🥺, I know who you are XD;;

Lae'zel is not having a good day.

Back at camp, we have a night-time visitor bearing information.

Did we just get involved in a githyanki civil war?

That's the goddamn spirit bbygirl.

(Astarion agrees!)

Next time - meeting one of Gale's old friends (of a sort).

#ry plays bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers

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thesobsister · 7 days

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youtube

Elton John, "Dirty Little Girl"

I was watching the televised Gershwin Prize (formally, The Library of Congress Gershwin Prize for Popular Song) presentation ceremony from Constitution Hall recently, in which Sir Elton John and Bernie Taupin's songwriting were honored.

A number of luminaries performed, including last year's honoree, Joni Mitchell, along with Brandi Carlisle and, oddly enough, Metallica. Many encomia regarding Elton's music and Bernie's words were offered along with inspiring stories of how their songs propelled the performers along the path to their own creative self-realization.

Which is all well and good, but, you know, there's some stanky-ass music in the ElBer catalogue. And not good stanky-ass. I don't just mean bad songs, but songs that are straight-up offensive.

"Island Girl" is, perhaps, the most obvious example, with Elton, one of the whitest men ever to reach his rarefied levels of fame in the music industry, singing in a mock patois about a Jamaican man trying to convince a streetwalker to go back to JA.

But, turning to, perhaps, the archetypal Elton John album, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, we find all sorts of unpleasantness. For example, another song about a sex worker ("Sweet Painted Lady") and a song ("All the Girls Love Alice") about a murdered teenage lesbian that treats the tragic subject respectfully, right? Well, only if one considers "It's like acting in a movie when you got the wrong part" and "And what do you expect from a sixteen year old yo-yo?" to be respectful or sensitive.

But the winner, from the same side of the GYBR LP as "Sweet…" and "Alice," has to be "Dirty Little Girl. Over a dirty Stones-ian groove, Elton sings this lovely chorus:

I'm gonna tell the world you're a dirty little girl Someone grab that bitch by the ears Rub her down, scrub her back, and turn her inside out 'Cause I bet hasn't had a bath in a year.

Surprisingly, or not at all, no-one covered this gem as part of the Gershwin Prize tribute.

There's a great single album buried in Goodbye Yellow Brick Road's two discs, once one prunes the filler ("Jamaica Jerk-Off"—yet another chance for Elton to explore his Black Jamaican side) and the clunky ("Candle in the Wind," a song that really didn't need to be written about either Marilyn Monroe or Lady Diana Spencer) tunes.

As we ask ourselves precisely wtf was wrong with Bernie Taupin, here's a palate cleanser:

youtube

#elton john #bernie taupin #gershwin prize #misogyny #double album #song lyrics #Youtube

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yostresswritinggirl · 1 year

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Re: your way of the househusband post, I actually had a dream where I was watching a new episode where Tatsu was telling this group of gangsters about the restaurants he's worked with and all the different types of food they make. As he was describing one dish an old lady passed by and was like "hmph bet it's not as good as my home cooking" and Tatsu was like "ma'am I must respectfully disagree bc I've worked in these restaurants and I can personally guarantee these dishes are top notch!!" and the grandma was like "well then, the only way to settle this is with a COOKING BATTLE!!"

So she and Tatsu pull out their cooking gear right there in the middle of the street while all the gangsters are watching with various degrees of shock and confusion and Tatsu's like "would you like to stop by the store to get ingredients ma'am" and she's like "you don't always have the ingredients on hand to make something for a cooking battle??? Weak." and she pulled out a whole fucking fish and started grilling it

Tatsu just kinda nodded in respect and started grilling his own fish lmao

This is not at all related to genshin but I thought it was funny to share lol

WAIT WTF HAHAHAHAHA HOW DO YOU HAVE SUCH GOOD AND DETAILED DREAMS GDI

Honestly so commendable, it fits the theme so well it might as well be an actual episode and I wouldn't doubt you, I wanna watch that it's amazing - wait I just realized it's a grandma too LWNDKDBLWMS i love it

#catty #exile.goblet #way of the house husband

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fashionredalert · 2 years

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Lmao something about a reluctant damsel in distress Kyo being locked away in a tower and an disgruntled prince charming Yuki who just wants a fucking nap going off to save him is so funny to me. And imagine the whole time Yuki is thinking Kyo is some far away princess in need of help

And like Kyo isn't the kind to sit around and wait for someone to rescue him but he can't move because of idk magic or something and Yuki somehow gets trapped with him and kyo is like wtf kind of rescue is this and Yuki is like wtf kind if princess is this? And now here comes tohru with her girlfriends, a witch and a badass lady knight (Hana and Uo respectfully) to save these two dumbasses.

#yukikyo #ive got these idiots on my mind again #kyo sohma #yuki sohma #tohru honda #yukyo #kyoyu #saki hanajima #arisa uotani #fruits basket #furuba

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standeena · 2 years

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Wtf happened to this fandom we went from everyone simping for a 9'6 lady respectfully to incest, harassment and just over all disgusting behavior. Please explain

#i miss the old days #re8 #tall vampire lady

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mentalmeles · 2 years

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WHY ARE ALL THE WHITE BLOOD CELLS IN CELLS AT WORK: CODE BLACK HOT AF????

#cells at work #cells at work: code black #cells at work liveblog #SERIOUSLY WTF!!!#THE WBCS IN THE ORIGINAL WERE CUTE DON'T GET ME WRONG BUT THESE ONES ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL BATTLE TORN LADIES LIKE????#WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO OTHER THAN LOOK RESPECTFULLY??#AAUGUGHHHHH I'M TOO GAY FOR THIS #the star child speaks

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ikeservant · 2 years

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Hello!

Ikemen sengoku requests.

So the warlord and MC has keep they're relationship in secret, but lately some soldiers has been stalking MC and giving her gifts and confessing their love to her. How would they react?

Hey @traduccionesotomeandme ! I’m finally back in the headcanon game and picked your suggestion first. Hope you like it!

Due to political reasons and making sure MC doesn’t have a target on her back by their enemies, they decide to keep their relationship a secret. But he has noticed during her rounds around camp there has been a soldier following her, making him cautious. When he returned to the shared tent with MC, she ran to them and embraced him, thanking him for the hairpin he left for her. “What hairpin?” “Don’t be silly! The one that you left on my pillow. I didn’t get to read your note yet that you had attached to it.”

Nobunaga: Takes the note out of her hands and reads it all the way to the bottom where the soldier put his name. Immediately calls one of the guards to fetch the soldier, much to the confusion of MC. As soon as the soldier entered the tent, he was met with the face of a confused MC and the searing gaze of Nobunaga. “I called you here to tell you one thing.” He puts his arm around Mc and draws her in. “This is my lucky charm. She belongs to me. Although this is secret to prevent her harm, I want to make it very clear that you may not pursue her any longer. I am pretty sure you know what will happen if you do not need my warning.” He added a sinister smirk at the end to get his point across, causing the soldier to tremble, nod, bow, and run out of the tent, all while MC is trying to process everything. After their return to Azuichi, MC was showered with hairpins. “You know I’m not going to leave you for some guy that gave me a hairpin?” “I’m just making sure you know that you know I can provide you with all the hairpins that you won’t need one from any other man, my fireball.”

Hideyoshi: Snatches the note out of MC’s hands, much to her confusion. He mumble reads it to himself to clarify wtf is going on, which MC picks up on. Hideyoshi squeezes the paper nervously and sighs. He knows it isn’t the guy’s fault since he doesn’t know she’s taken, but his protective side wants to keep her from being stalked and bombarded by unwanted advances towards him. “Wait right here, MC. I’ll be right back”, giving her a kiss on the forehead before leaving for the soldier’s tent, calling the soldier outside to have a “chat”. And by “chat” I mean a 20 minute lecture that MC and him are in a discreet relationship to keep her safe so her heart belongs somewhere else, and that even if she wasn’t that stalking ladies is not okay and that he will pummel him if he catches the solder stalking other women like that again. After returning to Azuichi, Hideyoshi takes MC out to the market, leading her to the hairpin gallery and buying almost every single one she looks at to compensate for the hairpin the other man gave her. MC tried to wrestle the money bag out of his hand but no dice, just let the man spoil you.

Masamune: Is VERY curious what the letter says and peers over her shoulder to read it along with her, watching her realize that it was from an admirer. “You attract a lot of stray cats, kitten. I might have to put a bell on you.” MC nudged him in the gut before asking what they should do about it. Since he’s all about autonomy and letting you speak for yourself, he suggests you talk to him yourself and he can stay guard in case anything goes wrong. So the soldier got a bit of a surprise when MC asked for him to step outside to talk, immediately seeing Masamune with a toothy grin and a hand on his sheath in the background as she explained that her heart belongs to another and that she has to respectfully decline his advances. Masamune’s presence making it obvious what would happen if he didn’t respect her wishes. After returning to the castle, MC was surprised with a hairpin that had a tiger on it, along with a letter from Masamune himself saying that he had to get even.

Mitsuhide: He knew who exactly the stalker/admirer was since he knows EVERYTHING and is always observing MC’s every move (kind of a stalker himself). He unfortunately was too busy with war strategies to notice the soldier slipping the pin and letter in their tent. “Foolish little mouse. Must you pick up sharp objects that might contain poison on them. Let me check these items for safety reasons.” Swooping the items from her hands, he leaves the tent to go towards the soldiers tent. “The Princess politely declined your advances and has already made a pact with a greedy fox that does not like to share. If you do not respect her wishes, I’m sure there’s plenty of room in the dungeons for you to write your next love letter.” Mitsuhide returned to MC’s tent, wrapping one arm around her waist and hooking his finger under her chin. “Dearest little mouse, you almost fell for the most devious plot someone could have: to steal your love away from me. If the soldier by the name of *insert some creep’s name here* approaches you again, let me know and I’ll resolve the problem.” Mc could tell by his mischievous Cheshire grin and his reaction to the letter what happened and sighed with a sarcastic “my hero”. About a week later, Mc finds a hairpin with Mitsuhide’s flower design and a letter and cautiously reads the note to make sure it’s from him. “Looks like you fell for the same trap again. Luckily it’s from me, but it looks like I’ll have to punish you for your lack of precaution.” Don’t worry, it’s a good punishment ;)

Mitsunari: Dude zoned out at first, thinking “wait..did I get that for her and forgot about it?” (Poor baby’s brain is fried from all the writing and strategizing he’s been doing all day give him a break). As soon as Mc’s face started turning downward, he knew it probably was not from him. “What does the letter say, my love?” “I think *insert creeper name here* is trying to court me. I might need to tell him tonight that I cannot reciprocate.” Mitsunari decides to come along to make sure she is safe as she tells him she cannot be with him. Since Mitsunari is not a “warlord” per-say and does not have any political/arranged marriage issues to navigate, they decide to go public with their relationship to avoid any further confusion and to strategically put the soldier in a place where if he continues his stalking behavior, he’d face the wrath of all the warlords and soldiers that ship him and MC, not just him anymore. Believe me, he also gets you a hairpin, this one with a flower that he read means “eternal, lasting love” to show it comes from the heart.

Ieyasu: His alarm bells go to a 100 real fast and is fuming as she starts to read the letter, immediately realizing it isn’t from him. He stomps over and takes the letter out of her hand, scanning it and sees the name of the soldier and starts grumbling it under his breath. “*creeper name* can’t even hold a sword properly what gives him the right to think he has a chance with you. What a buffoon I swear even Mitsunari is more capable than him I mean..”MC had to cut off his rambling or else he would be fuming for the next hour before they could decide how to handle the matter. “You stay here, I’ll be right back.” “Don’t do anything reckless!” MC shouted as Ieyasu quickly walked towards the soldiers tent to deliver a message that was along the lines of ‘I know a hundred ways to heal a person, and I know a thousand ways to break a person. You choose what I’m going to do to you on the battlefield if you want to pursue MC’. He returned to the tent with a red face after showing his possessiveness so openly to his soldiers, immediately pulling Mc to an embrace to calm his nerves and to hide his blushy face. After returning to the castle, Mc found a hairpin on their bed with a small deer on it. When she asked him about it, he turned away while making the excuse “Your messy hair is distracting and you’ll need to keep your hair tucked away or your clumsy self won’t see and trip.” Yeah right, he’s just jelly -u-

Kenshin: The tent becomes ice cold immediately, before Mc knows it the paper and pin are out of her hands and gripped into his fist. Looking down on the piece of paper to see the soldier’s name, he takes his sword and is ready to kill before MC grabs his arm. “He didn’t know. Let him off with a warning. We don’t need any more bloodshed.” With a huff, he set off. The sleeping soldier was awakened with a stabbing sound next to his head. Opening his eyes to see Kenshin hovering over him with the hairpin stabbing the ground next to him would haunt him for the rest of his life. “One look in her direction and this pin is going through your eyes.” and he left as quickly as he came. His murderous thoughts were soothed over once he embraced his lover upon his return, reminding himself that he can keep her safe without locking her away or doing anything too reckless (not always a promise but he tries). Decides first thing in the morning to tell everyone about his relationship since he doesn’t give a damn about politics if it means making it clear that MC is not available to court and warn that anybody that gets close to her will never get the opportunity to physically be able to walk towards her again. Of course gifts her a bunny hairpin as a replacement.

Shingen: Since he knows all the gossip and has connections, he picks up right away that Mc has an admirer that is getting a little too close for comfort and he’s been keeping an eye on. He waits for Mc to read the letter to see what she thinks. “I knew my goddess would have thousands wanting to worship her. Am I the selfish one for wanting to be the only one to worship you?” “Shingen this is serious what should I do?!” He decides to escort you to the soldier to nobly reject him. After telling MC to head back to their tent, he sat the soldier down and gave the “I know as an earthly man how it feels to gaze upon a divine Angel and want to have her bless your life. For some reason she chose to bless me for the limited time on earth that I have, and selfish as it is I want to cherish every blessing she gives me. I hope you find love like that someday.” Returning back to the tent, Shingen swooped up MC and rested his forehead against hers. “Since you are a goddess with one follower, I need to worship you with all my heart and soul right now.” After returning back to the castle , he decided to handcraft a wooden hair ornament with a bear on the end, saying that something he created with love in every blade stroke meant more than any hair pin bought on the market. (Or that’s just him being extra).

Yukimura: He noticed that one of the soldiers was gazing at MC a lot, but he was too dense to put the two and two together until he and MC walked into their tent to find a hairpin and note. “What’s this?” She did not know if Yuki’s stammering and shifting gaze was due to embarrassment of giving her a gift or of confusion because it really wasn’t for him. Immediately opening the letter she saw how the handwriting and poetic words did not match Yukimura’s bluntness. “I think *creeper name* wants to court me. What should I do?” One of the few moments Yukimura’s protective and possessive nature came to the forefront. “Stay here, I’ll set the record straight. Although embarrassed with love and mushy stuff, he was not afraid to make his relationship with MC known due to no real political backlash and it would keep him from worrying about any other of his men from shooting their shot. Swallowing his tsundere nature, he stepped in and talked to the soldier, making sure he and the other men knew that MC was taken and if they wanted her they’d have to fight him. Although half joking of the last part, they could tell that he was not going to tolerate anybody trying to herd his wild boar woman. When they returned back to the castle and walked down the market, Yukimura shyly pulled her to the hair pin booth. “W-which one do you like?” he stammered. After pointing out which one she wanted, he paid and handed it to her, looking away bashfully and quietly muttering “ I can give you nice things too.” (Break him by either making him repeat himself or asking him to put it in your hair).

#ikemen sengoku #ikesen #ikesen hc #ikesen headcanon #ikemen sengoku headcanon #ikesen masamune #ikesen mitsunari #ikesen mitsuhide #ikesen hideyoshi #ikesen nobunga #ikesen ieyasu #ikesen shingen #ikesen nobunaga #ikesen yukimura #ikesen kenshin

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sound-overlord · 2 years

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just watched the ending of the second season of rebels and here's the thots that are now in my mind in no particular order:

kanan called maul grandpa

mauls cane saber that he rips apart to be dramatic

how long was maul there before the jedi-ish arrived ? like did he have to wait for them im assuming he had some force vision or w/e that told him both abt the temple/weapon and ezra but like.... was he living there or ?

grandpa maul

what do u think maul and asohka talked abt on their turn in the lift lol ???? like for pacing reasons we dont need to kno and she was probably curt w him obviously but what did he saayyyy killing me

mauls earring gets me everytime like i know its there i can see it i am looking RESPECTFULLY

gpa maul

mauls pls help me im old~ voice is really funny to me

the inquisitors using their sabers to fly is already funny but the helicopter noise the blades made was soo fucking funny smdvkdb

like i know that this was a tragedy for asohka and kanan and ezra and mauls entire life is a tragedy and vader and the inquisitors also did not have a good time there but these episodes made me laugh so much and thats why its a comedy now

maul assigned grandpa at the kanan

ezra just has an evil holocron now i guess ???

asohka fucking DIED and we didnt even get to see the fight im literally so mad like i love violence let me see it 😤

they just pushed maul over the edge

like begone away from the plot

u red and angery grandpa

how tired of being pushed off of things do you think maul is at this point? do u think he'll develop a fear of hights ? much to think abt

what do u think maul was doing after he got thrown off the temple tho like obviously he was unconscious or he wouldve rematerialized on the ledge he was thrown off like a video games character if he wasnt but like do u think he was like *spongebob voice* "oh well. back to the dump. to the dump to the dump to the dump dump dump..." or if he just laid there for a minute

"my apprentice" yeah your apprentice, maul. "your" apprentice is a little RAT boy who's worse at being bad than he is at being good, maul. -_- typical.

"hey ezra whos the red crazy guy ?" "oh thats my grandpa"

mauls genuine excitement when he said "we're on the same side now :)" hskdhdkbdkdbd baby no

do u think at any point one of the writers were like "how do we show like via visual metaphor ezra's-and therefor any padawan's- struggle not to fall to the darkside?" and mr filoni's eyes started glowing as he responded "i know a guy"

its ~grandpa maul~

i wonder who vader was expecting to find at this sith temple tho like did he have any idea

did maul know either?? probably not. i bet he was kinda excited to see lady tano like "bitch u survived too :D!!"

the sith baking "u need two to pass" in everything in the temple is also funny to me like. they really would rip themselves apart as a group otherwise dndjdmd go off with that

maul just. blinding kanan. oOh (gay ooh) hes fucken blind now brugh. he did That.

im pretty mad that they didnt cut to maul's reaction to being called grandpa tho like did he think abt that at all, did he call ezra his apprentice because kanan used a familial term or was it more like he started doing the math like oh maybe i am about that age wait did he ever have sex before the bisection like did he have the time did ol' palpy let him or give him The Talk like obviously everyone in star wars is a virgin like hera and kanan havent even kissed yet wtf- except maybe hondo but like if maul ever DID find himself in that situation..................... oh my god he COULD be a grandpa.................

#can u tell that im obsessed with HIM #maul #darth maul #star wars rebels #rebels season 2 #lets give it up for season two !!#that i know what most of the things that happen in this show are #the fact that NO ONE has brought up that kanan called maul grandpa.......... sickening #anyway #if u read this whole thing im kissing u on the lips #like comment and subscribe on my latest insanity #brought to u by maul (grandpa)

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cinnamon-harry · 3 years

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Can I request one where Harry and reader have broken up but get back together and how instgram fans react to it.

Liked by normani, harrystyles, and 926,284 others

yourinstagram this is me reminding u to drink some water and do your skin care routineeee

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ynfan1 girl i’m already in bed it’s too late

yourinstagram @ynfan1 GET UP !

harryfan1 sis broke up with harry and been focused on herself ever since. this is the example ladies and gents.

ynfan2 queen, give us a new house tour

yourinstagram @ynfan2 i’m not done moving things around bby :’(

harryfan2 harry...we see u liking her posts...and we’re respectfully ✨ignoring✨

Liked by gemmastyles, troyesivan and 3,263,388 others

harrystyles i found someone on my walk today

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harryfan1 chile- who is this?

harryfan2 ........this looks like y/n

ynfan2 HDDBUDDJ GUYS DONT PANIC

harryfan3 wtf. did this shit happen overnight? it’s almost been a year i’m lost

harryfan4 guys don’t worry, it’s really just mitch in a dress

mitchrowland @harryfan4 how did u know ...

ynfan3 IS THIS Y/N ?? ANSWER THE QUESTION SIR

Liked by arianagrande, spaceykacey and 2,263,924 others

yourinstagram manifest it, i finessed it

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ynfan1 YALL IT AINT A JOKE ITS REAL

arianagrande yuhh

arianagrande the caption😏

yourinstagram @arianagrande did it for u😏❤️

harryfan1 HUUHHHHHH R U BAVK TOGETHER ??? SAY SIKE

ynfan2 girl...i thought we were getting over this

ynfan3 SKDJFUD MY PARENTS R BACK TOGETHER. BYE I CANT BREATHE

Liked by annetwist, mabel and 3,264,695 others

harrystyles the cat doesn’t really like me yet :/

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yourinstagram his NAME is mr. fitz and he doesn’t like u bc we talked a lot of shit about u🤭

harrystyles @yourinstagram idk if i should laugh or cry

yourinstagram @harrystyles he’ll come around :)

harryfan1 NOT Y/N BASICALLY TELLING HARRY TO SUCK IT UP IM DEAD

ynfan1 this relationship is the only thing i’m here for rn

harryfan3 harry...u we’re doing so good without her luv

harryfan2 @harryfan3 not u being in their business...read the room babes

not me never being consistent with posting🤭 anyways, hope u all stayed very very safe this halloween and enjoyed ur week !! <3

#harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles fake ig #harry styles fake instagram #harry styles fake social media #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #harry styles instagram #harry styles one shot #harry styles x reader

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