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your-bestamericangirl · 16 days

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Midnight Love || ch. 3 - white ferrari

Paige Bueckers x Uconnwbb!reader

previous: ch.2 - golden || next: .4 - april || masterlist

a/n: not proofread sorry baes <3

now playing: slow dancing in the dark by joji

She was sat on her bed, the passing clouds cast fleeting shadows over her room, enveloping her in a familiar wave of frustration. Throughout (Y/n)'s life, there had been countless instances where she wished she could freeze time, if only for a moment. In her experience, time never seemed to align in her favour; nothing ever happened at the 'right time,' and she often had to work tirelessly to make things happen. Unfortunately, her life hadn't witnessed any miracles yet, and there seemed to be no signs of any on the horizon to rescue her.

Currently, the clock displayed 5:47 PM.

A river of clothing continued to spill out of (Y/n)’s wardrobe, forming several piles scattered across her floor. Various textures and colours now adorned every crevice of her room. What started as simple 'yes,' 'no,' and 'maybe' piles quickly multiplied into categories like 'yes-if-the-weather-stays-nice' or 'maybe-but-it-would-look-better-if-my-hair-was-up'. Defeated, (Y/n) slumped from her bed to the floor. Choosing an outfit wasn’t a decision to be taken lightly in this context.

5:50 PM

Now would’ve been the perfect moment for her first miracle.

As she stared at the chaotic array of clothing before her, she couldn't help but feel a sense of unease creeping in. It wasn't just the prospect of selecting the right outfit; it was the nagging uncertainty about the evening itself, looming on the horizon like an unanswered question. After all, it wasn't like she was getting dressed up for media day, it was just the rest of the team. She found herself second-guessing the decision to go at all. With a heavy sigh, (Y/n) pushed herself off the floor, resolving to make a decision one way or another. As she stood there amidst the scattered clothes, (Y/n) tried to rack her brain for what had compelled her to agree to this outing in the first place.

***That morning

"And good Lord, right then and there, I wished I could’ve just gotten killed earlier on when I was in that shark tank because my mom appeared, mad as hell, and was ready to slap the shit outta me-”

Absentmindedly, (Y/n) hummed in agreement as her eyes scanned the fully stocked shelves. The aroma of freshly baked bread from the nearby bakery section wafted through the air, making (Y/n)'s stomach growl in protest at its emptiness. For the past four aisles, KK had been recounting her so-called horrifying dream from the night before, all from inside their shopping cart. While the first 30 seconds had been captivating, (Y/n) soon realized that KK was far from done. This dream had been so 'emotionally and mentally impactful' that KK felt compelled to act out her car chase scene, resulting in her abandoning the cart. After the fateful crash, the two found themselves with a worker trailing them from behind, ready to intervene with KK’s boisterous antics if needed.

The restock of the week was greatly needed. With the pantry, kitchen, and fruit bowl left with nothing but dust, both girls’ moods had increasingly deteriorated from the day before. As KK continued to recount her experience, (Y/n) was left with the task of finding what they needed. “Mhmm, sounds traumatic speaking of that. What else do we need?”

KK gave her a look. “Yeah, it was. Thank you for your consideration.”

“Always for you. But you didn’t answer my question—what else do we need?”

Realizing that KK couldn’t wring out any more sympathy from (Y/n), she shifted her focus from recounting her painful nightmare to recalling the items on the grocery list she conveniently left at home—a detail she kept from the older girl.

“Uh, okay damn. I think like… meat?”

The cart suddenly jerked to a halt, catching KK off guard. She lurched forward, instinctively steadying herself on the shopping cart. The harsh fluorescent lighting overhead felt too intense for the early morning, casting stark shadows across the aisles.

KK turned around to face her roommate, ready to berate her for the sudden maneuver. However, the words of distaste dissolved on her tongue as she beheld (Y/n)'s expression. The older girl stood before her, eyes closed, brows furrowed in the middle, teetering between disbelief and strained patience. KK would be grateful to come out of this conversation unscathed.

(Y/n)'s tone was short, “KK.”

“Yes, ma’am?”

With a deep inhale, (Y/n) gripped the shopping cart, her fingers tightening around the metal handle as she suppressed the urge to vent her frustration. Swallowing back all the profanities that came to mind, she managed a strained smile.

“What type of meat?”

“You know, like, bruschetta… maybe some bacon-”

“Maybe?” (Y/n) raised an eyebrow, her patience waning.

KK chuckled, the sound bouncing off the fluorescent-lit aisles. “Nah, just kidding. We definitely need bacon. And also… Oh shit… Ice?”

(Y/n) blinked, the abrupt shift in conversation catching her off guard. “...Ice? KK, are you good? Because last time I checked, you were the one who brought up meat in the first place.”

In response, KK stood up from her position in the shopping cart, the metal rattling as she shifted her weight. “No look, it’s Ice.”

Following KK’s gaze, she then spotted Ice Brady in the next aisle. The 6’3 forward struggled to fit numerous bags of chips into her shopping basket, her arms stretched to their limits.

With a resigned sigh, (Y/n) began to maneuver the cart containing KK towards Ice's location. The wheels squeaked in protest against the linoleum floor, the rhythmic sound echoing in the bustling store. Despite her being a D1 athlete, she found herself growing weary of playing the role of chauffeur for her friend. Yet, as she glanced at KK’s expectant expression, she knew there was no escaping it.

“Ice Brady," KK sang, her arms outstretched in a theatrical gesture as the cart rolled to a stop. The spectacle drew the attention of nearby shoppers, who paused to witness the unfolding scene, transfixed by the unexpected drama. "Would you care for some assistance today?"

Ice, caught off guard by the flamboyant greeting, turned her attention from the bags of chips to KK's infectious smile. Amusement danced in her eyes as she surveyed the scene before her. With a nod of acknowledgment to (Y/n), who was still navigating the cart into a suitable parking spot, Ice responded, "I mean, if you hopped out of the cart, I could put my stuff in, but I wouldn’t want to trouble your highness."

“Oh!” KK’s hands came together in childish glee, pleased by Ice’s answer, “How considerate of you, but it's alright, I’ve been feeling courteous today.”

“So now you’re feeling ‘courteous’?” (Y/n) deadpanned as she made her way around the shopping cart across from Ice. As KK made her stellar attempt to climb out of the cart gracefully, (Y/n) stood behind her to help lift her out, “I’ve literally been pushing you around all morning, babes.”

She then made her way over toward ice to give assistance with the various chip bags enough to feed a family for christmas dinner.

“So,” KK started her smile towards Ice, selectively choosing to ignore her roommate’s comment “what’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?”

“Y’know, working had to feed the kids, and all that. You guys sure eat a lot”

“Wait,” KK gaped, “This is all for us?”

“Have you checked the group chat?” Ice questioned. In fact, they had not. Though she had been added days prior, (Y/n) had decided to keep her distance from that group chat. The two girls turned to look at each other, proceeded by KK quickly checking her phone.

Soon enough, her eyes ignited from within. “Hell yeah, party time,” she sang.

“K, you’re being dramatic, it’s literally just the team,” Ice laughed.

“Theres a hangout tonight?” (Y/n) questioned, her stomach forming knots at the thought of being in a room with all of the UConn Women’s Basketball team.

“Yup, everyone, including you two, are coming over."

(Y/n) glanced between KK and Ice, her expression shifting to one of mild apprehension. "Do I have a choice?" she asked, her voice laced with a hint of resignation.

Both KK and Ice exchanged a knowing look before simultaneously replying, "Nope."

6:15 pm

During her first official collegiate-level game freshman year, (Y/n) led her team to a resounding victory, later that night earning her the coveted title of 'The People’s Princess' of the NCAA.

Beneath the blaring lights of the stadium, (Y/n) was radiant. It was a moment she had long envisioned, the culmination of years of relentless dedication and unwavering determination. With her eyes gleaming and her words flowing with confidence, she effortlessly captivated the reporter and everyone in attendance. Her presence seemed to cast a spell over the crowd, drawing them in with her infectious smile and undeniable talent.

In the weeks that followed, (Y/n)'s reputation soared to new heights. However, amidst the high, a subtle unease began to gnaw at her. She quickly realized that the pedestal on which she had been placed came with its own set of challenges.

Despite her remarkable achievements on the court, she found herself confined by the weight of expectations. The public's perception of her became increasingly polarized, with praise often overshadowed by harsh criticism. She was both celebrated and scrutinized for her gentle demeanour, her commanding presence, and even her choice of attire.

The constant contrast between adoration and disdain left her feeling unsettled, she was constantly walking on a tightrope between two worlds. Over time, she became acutely aware of the need to separate her on-court persona from her everyday life, a process that had equally drained but benefited her.

Yet, as she immersed herself deeper into the complexities of her newfound fame, (Y/n) couldn't shake the nagging feeling that appearance had become everything. In a world where perception was predominant, she grappled with the notion that her worth was measured not by her character or accomplishments, but by the image she projected to the world.

All this to say that unfortunately, (Y/n) had been second-guessing tonight’s event over and over again. Only two individuals had truly seen beyond the facade she meticulously maintained: KK and, in a distant past, Paige.

As (Y/n)'s life flashed before her eyes, her gaze fixed on the door before her, its weathered surface worn by years of use. The soft hum of chatter from beyond the door drifted through the air, mingling with the faint scent of pizza and anticipation that hung in the hallway. Each groove in the wood seemed to whisper secrets, a silent witness to her inner turmoil.

She took a deep breath, her fingers tracing the edges of the doorframe. The cool touch of the wood against her skin sent a shiver down her spine, a tangible reminder of the reality awaiting her on the other side. What would they think of her? Did she look presentable enough? Doubts gnawed at her confidence, threatening to unravel the facade she had carefully constructed.

With a steadying exhale, (Y/n) pushed open the door, crossing the threshold into the unknown. The soft click of the latch echoed in her ears, signaling her descent into the realm of uncertainty.

The scene unfolded before her, intimate and genuine, a tapestry woven with the bonds of teammates. The UConn Women’s Basketball team occupied every corner of Ice’s condo, their laughter mingling with the warmth of the confined space. Despite the inviting atmosphere, (Y/n) couldn’t shake the feeling of being an intruder in this vibrant gathering.

With each step forward, (Y/n) sensed the weight of her decision. The events of this evening would undoubtedly shape her relationship with the team for the rest of the year.

Luckily, no one had noticed her entrance yet. As (Y/n) scanned the room, she searched for KK among the multitude of bodies, most of them towering over her. Despite her efforts, KK remained elusive. Frustration etched her features as uncertainty gnawed at her. She caught her reflection in a nearby mirror, regarding herself with unease.

With a sigh, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves. Lost in her inner turmoil, (Y/n) failed to notice the door behind her slowly swinging open.

As the door swung shut, the breeze proceeded to cause a shift among her hair. Shoving away all distractions, (Y/n) straightened her back, took a deep breath and prepared for her next step further into the house.

“You gonna move? Or do you need help, princess?” Paige's voice cut through the air, shattering (Y/n)'s concentration. All prior thoughts dissolved from her mind at those words, her focus instantly shifting to the unexpected encounter with Paige.

Despite the familiarity of seeing Paige's face plastered on banners around UConn, the proximity still rattled her. She had thought she'd grown accustomed to it, but the reality of facing Paige in person was an entirely different experience.

She had an image to maintain, (Y/n) wouldn’t shy away at simple words anymore.

With a subtle steeling of her resolve, she turned to face the taller girl, meeting Paige's gaze head-on. Though she found herself looking up at Paige, she refused to give any ground in their exchange.

The tension between them crackled in the air, each word laden with unspoken history and unresolved emotions. (Y/n)'s jaw tightened, but she refused to let Paige see any hint of vulnerability. She squared her shoulders and held Paige's gaze with unwavering determination.

"No need for assistance, thanks," (Y/n) replied evenly, her voice betraying none of the turmoil swirling inside her. "I can handle myself just fine."

Paige chuckled, taking a step closer to her. "Of course you can, Your Highness," she quipped, her eyes gleaming with amusement. "But it wouldn't hurt to let someone lend a hand every now and then."

(Y/n) bristled at the implication but forced herself to remain composed. "I'll keep that in mind," she replied curtly, stepping aside to let Paige pass.

Paige's lips quirked into a knowing smirk, but she didn't press the issue further.

While Paige moved past her, (Y/n) couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that lingered in the air. Despite her best efforts to maintain her facade of confidence, there was a vulnerability in her interactions with Paige that she couldn't seem to shake.

As (Y/n) made her way further into the room, she found herself enveloped in a warm atmosphere. Smiles greeted her from every direction, genuine and welcoming, easing the tension that had knotted in her stomach.

“Damn, girl, I was just about to check if you had been kidnapped! What took you so long.” Exclaimed KK as she searched every inch of (Y/n). The younger girl’s gaze soon turned towards Paige suspiciously suddenly recounting the day prior, eyes snapping back and fourth. But then quieter KK added, “Hm, okay, I see, I see…”

A chorus of laughter bubbled up around them at KK’s dramatic statement, the sound infectious and light-hearted. (Y/n) couldn't help but smile in response, the weight of earlier uncertainties melting away in the warmth of their acceptance.

Any lingering tension between them dissipated in the face of the group's genuine warmth, replaced by a sense of belonging and shared purpose.

After making her rounds, (Y/n) went to sit by the couch, where a mini circle had formed as the team watched Azzi and Aubrey in their death match of Mario Cart. The room was filled with the rhythmic clicking of controllers and the occasional whoops and groans as players navigated their virtual karts through the colourful tracks. Azzi and Aubrey were locked in intense concentration, their eyes glued to the screen as they jostled for the lead. The competitive banter between them added to the lively atmosphere, punctuated by bursts of laughter and playful teasing from the rest of the team. (Y/n) leaned back, taking in the scene with a contented smile.

As the night progressed, (Y/n) found herself settling in, enjoying the easy connection of the team. Their genuine willingness to engage with her put her at ease, dispelling any lingering apprehension. After wrapping up a conversation with Ashlyn about her cats back at home, (Y/n) decided to take a brief respite. She excused herself and made her way to the kitchen, feeling a headache creeping in as result of the loud atmosphere.

The cool touch of the glass along her fingers was well welcomed as (Y/n) took a sip of water. From her position in the kitchen, she had a comforting view of the apartment. As her gaze swept from Azzi and Aubrey fighting about wins and losses, to KK and Aaliyah filming their third tiktok of the night, her eyes landed on Paige.

Obviously, people change as they grow up. Physically, Paige was taller. Her dark blond roots peaked out like a halo. But, the space between them seemed to grow as well.

With a sigh, she turned to grab another sip of water. The kitchen, bathed in the soft glow of overhead lights, hummed with activity. The tiled floor gleamed underfoot, a testament to the cleanliness maintained in the shared space.

Unfortunately, right as she turned, she bumped into the one and only Nika Muhl.

“Oh, shit,” (Y/n) jumped, the water in her glass sloshing dangerously close to the brim.

Before she could react, the collision resulted in the water spilling on Nika, the droplets now flowing from Nika’s shirt onto the tiles below. (Y/n)'s heart sank at the sight

“I’m so sorry, let me help you,” she stammered, scrambling for a nearby towel, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

Nika waved off (Y/n)'s apology with a chuckle, her easygoing demeanour putting her at ease. "Don’t worry about it, (Y/n). Accidents happen." Nika took the towel she offered and dabbed at her shirt, trying to contain the spill.

(Y/n) winced, feeling guilty. "I didn't mean to, I was just lost in thought."

Nika leaned against the counter, a small smile playing on her lips. "No harm done. Do you want to talk about whatever was on your mind?"

(Y/n) hesitated, not wanting to burden Nika with her concerns. But Nika's warm gaze encouraged her to speak up. "Yeah, I'm just trying to find my place with the team, you know? Sometimes it feels like I'm still the new kid."

Nika nodded in understanding, crossing her arms casually. "I get that. But trust me, (Y/n), you fit right in. Everyone likes you."

(Y/n) felt a warmth spread through her chest at Nika's words, and she couldn't help but blush. "Thanks, Nika. That means a lot."

Nika chuckled, nudging (Y/n) playfully. "Hey, don't mention it. And you know what? Even Paige couldn't stop talking about how excited she was when she found out you were joining."

(Y/n)'s eyes widened in surprise at the mention of Paige. "Really?"

Nika nodded, a knowing smile on her face. "Yep, really. It seems you’re quite the People’s Princess, (Y/n)."

Feeling a mix of emotions, (Y/n) leaned against the counter beside Nika, both of them watching the group outside the kitchen enjoying themselves. The sounds of laughter and chatter filled the air, creating a comforting backdrop to their conversation.

However, (Y/n)'s attention was soon drawn to the sight of everyone getting up and preparing to leave. "Where is everyone going?" she asked, confusion evident in her voice.

Nika followed her gaze, her expression turning playful. "I guess it’s about that time now.” Nika then stood up to trail the team out of the apartment. “Team tradition."

Now playing: white ferrari by frank ocean

The night enveloped the surroundings in a tranquil embrace, casting a serene aura over the playground. The soft glow of the moon and stars illuminated the path ahead, casting gentle shadows on the playground equipment.

Amidst the laughter of her companions, (Y/n) found herself immersed in the peaceful ambiance of the night. As she followed behind the group, she couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment wash over her. The cool night air brushed against her skin, carrying with it the faint scent of freshly cut grass and distant city lights.

With each step, (Y/n) felt a weight lifting from her shoulders, replaced by a quiet sense of serenity. She took in the sight of her newfound teammates friends ahead, their silhouettes dancing against the night sky, and allowed herself to be relax the moment, grateful for the new joys she would encounter with this team.

As they made their way onto the playground, the flash of red and blue metal bars pierced the air, bringing back memories of a time when playing D1 basketball was just a distant dream.

Following close behind, (Y/n) ended her destination at a swing set that shone silver and gold against the night sky. The chains groaned in response of her weight, their link rattling together, forming a melody long forgotten. As her world slowly swung on an axis, (Y/n) couldn’t help but finally be at ease.

As (Y/n) allowed herself to sink into the comforting rhythm of the swing, she became aware of a presence nearby. Glancing over her shoulder, she spotted Paige making her way towards the swing set, her silhouette cutting through the darkness like a shadow. Despite the tension that often lingered between them, there was something oddly comforting about Paige's proximity in that moment. With a silent invitation, (Y/n) watched as Paige settled onto the swing beside her, the chains creaking softly in protest under their combined weight.

For a moment, there was only the soft whip of the wind that passed by (Y/n)’s ears, occasionally broken by the rattling chains and the laughter that drifted from the playground. Though things between the two girls were complicated, (Y/n) missed their time together.

With a sigh, her eyes searched the distant lights above. Her mind filled in the blanks and connected the dots of the stars in the skies. Unbeknownst to (Y/n), Paige had been doing the same since she arrived.

“Ursa Major,” Paige murmured, the name of the constellation unintentionally slipping from her lips.

At the sudden break in the comforting silence, (Y/n) glanced over to her, giving her full attention.

"Is it still your favorite?" Paige asked, her voice soft with genuine curiosity, her gaze falling to the side to find (Y/n)’s surprised expression within the darkness.

“Yeah,” (Y/n) spoke softly, her mind filled with the countless nights they searched the sky together. An unexplainable wave of yearning and sadness washed over her senses, “it is.”

Paige then turned her attention back to the sky above, all while (Y/n) was still processing the fact that she remembered her favourite constellation.

“You still remember?” (Y/n) asked, the question slipping from her mind out to the world before she could stop herself.

Paige felt her blood rush scarlet. “Yeah, you know… how could I forget?”

Paige’s answer stunned her. She assumed that since they parted ways, Paige would’ve also tried to erase the memories from her mind. For (Y/n), it had been too much to remember.

Paige's response lingered in the air, the weight of its meaning hanging heavy between them.

Paige hesitated, her gaze searching (Y/n)'s face for any sign of recognition. "Do you ever miss it?" she asked softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

(Y/n)'s heart skipped a beat at the question, her mind racing as she struggled to find the right words. "Miss what?" she replied, her voice barely audible over the gentle rustle of leaves and the soft glow of the stars.

Paige's gaze softened. "Us," she admitted, her voice tinged with vulnerability.

A whirlwind of emotions swept through (Y/n) at Paige's question. Her chest tightened, and her breath caught in her throat. The weight of their shared history pressed down on her, threatening to overwhelm her fragile composure.

Yet, amid the turmoil of conflicting emotions, a flicker of longing ignited within her.

Everyday.

She wanted to respond.

I’ve never stopped missing us.

She hadn’t expected such a question from Paige. Though she had been hoping, deep down, she knew that Paige might not have the same space for her in her world. After all, a sun doesn’t need a moon to survive.

Over time, their dynamic had shifted, revealing that (Y/n) relied more on Paige than the other way around. But those words brought into question whether (Y/n) had been wrong about them all along.

Her eyes swept to the side to meet Paige’s expectant gaze, her eyes reflecting the silver moonlight.

“Always.”

Neither Paige nor (Y/n) had been expecting the answer to be spoken. At the revelation, the corners of Paige’s lips curved into the slightest smile.

As soon as the conversation started, silence drifted between them, The two girls drifted back into their quiet comfort. Only now, they both shared the same information. Possibilities of the upcoming sprung up into (Y/n)’s mind. Things would be different then she expected, but maybe that was a good thing.

(Deleted scene)

“Nah, Paige is occupied at the moment,” KK laughed, her voice carrying over the chatter of the group. With a deft swing from the monkey bars, she landed next to Aaliyah, where her phone was propped up to capture their talents. As they continued their antics, the live chat exploded with questions about (Y/n) after the idea of getting Paige on the stream was quickly shut down.

“Damn,” Aaliyah murmured, her eyes scanning the flood of messages, “y’all really love her, don’t you?”

A chorus of affirmative responses flooded the chat. Meanwhile, Azzi's voice cut through the background noise, calling both Aaliyah and KK over to witness her latest feat on the monkey bars. With a shared grin, the two girls left their spot, drawn by Azzi's infectious energy.

In the darkness of the night, the bottom right corner of the screen was illuminated just enough to make ou two silhouettes together on a swing set. The descovery sparked a flurry of speculation in the chat. Messages scrolled rapidly as viewers attempted to decipher the identities of the mysterious figures. Within moments, messages began pouring out as Paige and (Y/n) were finally identified.

(Y/n) and Paige: Sparks Fly on Live Stream

Fans were treated to an unexpected sight during teammate KK Arnold's recent live stream, as basketball stars (Y/n) (L/n) and Paige Bueckers made a joint appearance. Their presence together immediately set social media abuzz, with fans reigniting dating rumors that have followed the pair for years. Despite both athletes maintaining silence on the matter, the resurgence of speculation has divided fans, with some eagerly shipping the duo while others advocate for their privacy. As (Y/n) and Paige continue to focus on their careers, fans remain captivated by the possibility of a romantic connection between the two athletes.

a/n: yuhh chapter two done! sorry for the wait, it's been a tough week lmao! anyways, im begging you PLEASE LISTEN TO WHITE FERRARI WHILE READING THE NIGHT SCENE ITS SO GOOD

anyways, thanks for all the love and support you guys are the best, loving all the comments <333

also for future chapters, does anyone live in seattle? cuz mc is gonna be from there and i need a highschool that was good at basketball or just one in general. LOVE YALL SO MUCH SEE YOU NEXT TIME

taglist: @kenzie-luvzz , @juphey , @h34rtsformilli , @pinkandlilacroses , @i-bribri-i , @thatonemarvelfan03 , @girlokwhatever , @ihrtthotdads , @kc88888888 , @nfleditsrjustbetteridk , @imsobabygiirl , @vi0lentb3rry , @sejus-wife , @katemlk , @littlelesbianinternujung , @ktaerssoi , @evangelinexo , @c999sh

#paige bueckers headcannon #paige bueckers x reader #paige bueckers #wlw #uconn wbb #wlw fic #uconn huskies #x reader

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sorcerous-caress · 7 months

Text

Putting makeup on them

[ Bg3, fluff, several characters ] [inspired by this ]

Minthara

You straddled her waist as you held the makeup brush. Minthara's laying figure below you remained stoic even as she closed her eyes delicately when you started applying the eyeshadow.

A peaceful silence fell between the two of you. Time fading with each gentle stroke against her skin. Her stressful life and age showed in the subtle wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, you paid no mind to conceal them.

Instead, you focused on her eyes and thin lips. Picking the right colours to complement her violet skintone and grey hair.

When you finished, she made no move to remove you from on top of her, nor did she offer the mirror you handed her more than a mere glance before focusing back on you.

"You did well." Her freshly painted lips said, gloss still shining on them.

Gale

Deep brown eyes looked up at you from where his head laid on your lap, puppylike and lovestruck as he smiled.

"I can't say I had personal experience in this field, but you'd be pleased to find me a most pleasant student." His smile slowly grew into a huge grin as you applied a cream to his face with your fingers, rubbing it into his skin with care.

"Is that what your professors told you? A pleasure to have in class?" You replied, picking up the brush and applying the perfect blue to compliment his eyes, "close your eyes for me."

"Well, no." He closed them, "in the most generous of cases, I was and as they described, a menace."

You chuckled as you tried to keep your hand study with all of his squirming, "I'm starting to agree with them." Maybe he found the sensation ticklish.

Dammon

You cupped his jaw in your hand, tilting his chin up as you leaned in closer. His throat moved as he swallowed, hands fidgeting with the hem of his appron.

"We're almost done, I'm just adding the final touches." You said as you readjusted the brush between your fingers.

He attempted to nod before hesitating and deciding against it to not mess up your work.

The most lovely of blushes adorned his sharp cheekbones as you finished applying it, leaning back and admiring your work.

Dammon seemed more at ease now, as he saw the pride in your eyes at your effort, something he was very familiar with.

Picking up your hand that did all the work, He held it gently in his own as he gave it a small kiss.

The Emperor

You weren't sure where to begin, or even if makeup is safe for mindflayer skin. Tentacles floated and twisted in the air around your form, as if ready to envelope you. Their tips would occasionally brush and trail along your figure, although The Emperor made no effort to acknowledge them.

"I'm waiting." His voice echoed in your mind.

You decide to go with a kid safe makeup kit. If it's safe enough for kids to eat, then it's safe enough for mindflayers... you hoped.

In a strange way, he did make the edible glittery highlights work for him. You thought as you admired your work.

Only when you went to grab the small mirror from your pouch, did you notice that the tentacles have successfully entangled themselves around you while you were too focused to notice.

The Emperor kept pretending that nothing unusual was happening.

You handed him the mirror, and he picked the small thing with his hand as he took a look.

"Now that I've indulged you more than enough, I need you to focus on your mission." Was the last mental message you got before you were unceremoniously kicked out of the Asteral plane.

Gortash

Servants scuttered around the ceremonial hall, carrying food trays and putting the last touches on the decorations.

Gortash sat on his throne in the middle of the commotion, fully dresses in his best of robes, with each silver line and accessory shined just enough to almost resemble a mirror.

You stood in front of him, between his knees, parted to give you the space to get closer. Brush in one hand and your makeup pallet on the other.

If you recall correctly, you did finish helping him with the makeup an hour ago. But apparently, some incident happened that caused him to require your assistance again, and immediately, as the servant who came to fetsh you claimed.

Gortash looked up at you with half lidded eyes, a grin on his lips as you took in his perfect face of makeup.

There wasn't much for you to do, really, the makeup was the same as when you finished an hour ago. So you just stood there while pretending to do something as you brushed away at his skin with an empty brush, occasionally adding the most subtle of powders.

Eventually, it had to end when a servant informed both of you that the guests should be arriving soon.

"Be a dear for me and stay close during the coronation. Who knows when I might just need your expertise again."

Mayrina

"It's been so long, I haven't done this since..." her words trailed off as her lips quivered, "Connor's funeral."

You gently wiped the tear stained black makeup from around her eyes. She held on to your shoulders as you cleaned her face.

Her eyelashes fluttered when you applied mascara to them, her fingers holding onto you as if to anchor herself.

"You shouldn't have...I might just cry and ruin it." She looked away from you with shame brewing in her throat.

"Then I'll just wipe it, and we will start over again," you reassured her, "as many times as you need."

Tears threatened to spill from her glossy eyes as she gave a small smile, carefully wiping away the tears she took a deep breath as she faced you again.

"No, no, I won't. I can be strong, like you." She gave your shoulders a squeeze.

Cazador

Candlelight illuminated the room to make up for the tightly closed curtains. You wondered how anyone is able to tell night from day in this palace.

Your fingers were shaking, you took a deep breath to steady them.

Blood red eyes followed your every movement.

Clearing your throat, you presented the pallet of colours to him. "Which one would you prefer?...Sir."

His lips curled in a mock smile, fangs just peaking through for a split second.

"Black."

He always chose black, yet you always asked.

You worked quickly and efficiently. Your purpose was to give some life to his undead skin and conceal anything that might cause suspicion.

Maybe he was waiting for you to slip, you thought as you applied the subtle black liner. Maybe he's waiting for the day you forget to ask beforehand.

You almost shudder at the thought of what he might do that day.

Karlach

She is trying to kill you, you thought, she definitely is doing it on purpose.

"I said I'm sorry, come on," her arms wrapped around you, attempting to soften you up with a hug, "please?"

You weren't buying it at all.

Each single time you'd finish applying her lipstick, she'd lean forward and drown you in kisses. All over your face, your neck and hell even your ears.

The first time was endearing, and the second time was a bit much, but 5 times in a row? You'd be a fool if you fell for that obvious trap again.

"Can you blame you? How could I possibly resist." She whined as she buried her face in your neck, "You're just so focused when you do it, and I get this urge..."

She continues, "you know, sometimes I just can't believe it, the fact I can touch you and kiss you and hug you, I haven't even felt a single touch in so long and suddenly I'm free from that damn engine to do everything I've longed for and more."

...

God dammit karlach.

With a sigh, you tell her fine, you'll do it again.

Maybe you really are a fool, but who wouldn't be after seeing that genuine smile of happiness on her face. You'd be the biggest fool in all of faerun if it meant keeping her happy.

Shadowheart

"What, like a doll? Are you sure you won't ask to dress me up next?" She gives a teasing smile as she sits next to you on the couch, looking over your side of makeup equipments and scattered brushes.

"You say that like you don't like the idea." You tease back as you get closer to her, one leg resting on her lap.

"Hmm, maybe I do. What are you going to do about it?" She lets you brush her hair behind her ears, using clips to keep it in place as you get a clear view of her full face.

"I'll let you pick mine if i get to pick yours."

That catches her interest, "You'll just hand me the power of putting you in anything I want... you do know how to persuade someone."

As you start applying her makeup, you feel her relax with your touches. Her skin is very soft against your fingers.

You take your time, making sure to pick something that suits her personal style. As enticing as the thought of going on with a full hot pink on her, you know there will be consequences later. She doesn't forgive nor forget.

After painting her lips, you hand her a mirror. She observes her reflection with a surprised expression.

"I knew you were good at this, I just didn't expect...wow" her eyes are mostly focused on the reflection of her lips.

With a smug experience, you ask if it her highness the princess has any complaints.

"Yeah....just one thought." She puts the mirror down as she leans closer, holding your thigh on her lap so you don't move away.

Pressing her lips onto yours, she kisses you with passion, making you chase after her as she pulls away.

"This colour looks much better on you."

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nrdmssgs · 10 months

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Little things, they do 2 (Price, Ghost, Gaz) (headcannons)

Masterlist

Part 1 (Alex, Soap, König) here

Little things, they do, that get you every time. Silly, warm, heart-melting, wholesome things.

Captain John Price

Knuckle kisses. That's it.

Praises you not only when you succeed, but also when you fail. “I know, you tried so hard, love. This doesn't make you lesser. You don't have to prove anything to me. I'm proud of you. You're enough.”

Compliments you at the most random times. You've just woken up with an absolute mess on your head, or you walk around the house in old faded sweatpants and a dirty T-shirt because the rest of the clothes are being washed? John takes your hand, brings it to his lips and whispers "You are incredibly beautiful." or “How did an old git like me ended up with the most gorgeous, hottest human being out there?”

He has this habit of going behind your back and leaning close to your very ear while telling you something. Maybe he just likes to feel you close and uses it as an excuse, maybe he wants to “envelop” you in a way, hide you from the whole world, sharing his knowledge, feeling, how interested you are in a topic.

One of those people to actually use paper and envelopes, that some hotel still provide their rooms with. You get these long 3-5 page letters from different corners of earth every now and then. They can be absolutely platonic - he can literally describe, what he's seen or overheard on the streets lately or rant about how he wants to hear seabirds voices, but they are interrupted by the unceasing roar of engines and roadworks here… But you see it: every line screams “I love you. I freaking love you so much, it's almost 4 am here, and I'm still wide awake, because I need to write to you, to communicate in any way that will be safe for you.”

Simon Ghost Riley

He is no stranger to triggered stress or panic. So if you have any phobia, and he finds out about it - he starts protecting you from its triggers. Let's say, you're scared of spiders and scorpions. Even a picture of one can absolutely freak you out. Simon goes above and beyond to shield you from any type of appearance of these creatures in your life. In summer, he'll escort and even tiniest spider out of your apartment, before you see it.

He even shares a googledoc with trigger warning time codes for every piece of media, you wanted to see. Even if it's a long series - he just checks every episode of it on a fast rewind and writes you, if it's fully safe to watch or not.

Ghost has a wealth of experience in dealing with insomnia and is willing to help you, if you come across this issue. Just don't hesitate to ask - he is ready to spend all the night helping you out. Will definitely start with pressing your back to his chest and guiding you through a breathing exercise.

If you had a bad day and dropped him a message - he`d surely call you as soon as he can to talk you through everything that happened and soothe you.

“I`m always there for you, you know?” “I know, Simon…” “No, thats not the way, we do that.” “...” “Come on. Say it.” “I remember, ok?” “Say. it. I need you say it out loud.” “You are always there for me, no matter what.” “And?” “... and I can call or text you any time and you'll reach back asap.” “Good job. I'll call you again before you go to sleep.”

Despite his ascetic way of life, he likes nice things and gradually accustoms you to the same preferences.

It all starts with tea. One day, you go grocery shopping together. You walk between the rows of shelves while Simon stays by your cart. Returning to the cart, you find him skeptically examining the box of tea you dropped into the cart earlier. "What is this?" "It's tea, Simon, stop pretending you can't read." Ghosts gaze eloquently demonstrates his attitude towards this product. "It's trash." He pulls out a simple but elegant box from the top shelf. "This is tea." You try to convince him that with the money spent on that "good" box, you could drink tea all year, but he is relentless. Simon ends up buying the tea himself and brewing it at your place. When you first try it and roll your eyes in pleasure - he smiles contentedly. “Told you.”

Kyle Gaz Garrick

“Babe this is delicious, wanna try it?” - say yes and firstly he will kiss you. You absolutely need to try that ice cream, his tongue is just a nice bonus. Ofc shares his food with you afterward.

One of the most supportive human beings out there. Encourages every your hobby, hella proud of you and not shy to demonstrate it. “Have you heard her singing? RNs got a voice of a songbird!” “Kyle, please, I just went to a few vocal lessons and learned like… 2 songs.” “Those are my favorite ones from now on, love.”

If you work from home, he'll walk into your room randomly (but only when he is 100% sure, you're not on the call), sit beside you and just stare silently at you. Ask him, what's up, and he'll give you a quick kiss on the forehead and walk away grinning.

Slow dances with you on streets, when you two pass by street musicians. Doesn't care if everybody looking, even if someone pulls out a phone and starts filming this wholesome scene. It's only you in Kyles hands, that matter right now to him.

If you have a pet - he definitely becomes its new dad. When Kyle is around - your four-legged friend absolutely forgets about your existence, because Gaz is an expert in best scratches!

By the way, your pets birthday is now Kyles official holiday!

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carionto · 6 months

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Party Moon

Humanity expands to every corner it can inhabit. Oftentimes to ones they can't, but decide they'll deal with the whole "the land is lava, the sea is poison, the air is radiation" once they're there.

One of the earlier attempts at expansion was on one of Saturn's moons - Iapetus.

They shot lasers at it until it got warmer and made an atmosphere.

Once it did (sorta) the first colonists began experimenting with outdoor farming, among other things, to become fully self-sufficient. Due to a mix of low gravity and *something* in the thin atmosphere, many plants failed to grow at all, but a few mutated and started to thrive. None of them, however, were nutritionally capable of ensuring Human survival and well being. Not because they lacked certain core elements, but because they all invariably developed additional... properties.

Not even one month in and the Human government stopped receiving regular reports from Iapetus and nobody seemed to leave the moon either. Worried about some kind of horrible malfunction or outbreak, the investigative team quickly discovered that it was fine. Everything was, like, so fine.

They couldn't even describe how fine. Like sand, but less coarse, not as irritating. In fact, not irritating at all, more like...

waterfalling into a sweet blossoming cherry tree enveloped by your mother's arms held so tightly you never wanna let go of t h e

Oh right - cannabis.

Yeah, most things just kinda evolved to sorta have euphoria inducing properties, but on a bit of a delay. The spores hang around in the air and after a while they begin to interact with the chemicals the heating up process released into the atmosphere. Then the regular pheromones they release change into toxins that have a mild effect on Human brains.

Thing is, we suspect it was deliberate. The ones in charge of the agriculture effort must have realized what was happening, but ignored it. Or worse, expanded it themselves. There were an awful lot of open air farms for the small number of colonists at first. After this "discovery" instead of turning things around into a more safe environment, they made almost the entire moon into a giant farm for this stuff.

They even started packaging the stuff, calling it "Ia-peace-it-up", and now it is one of the most popular recreational drugs among Humans.

The moon itself is now both heavily guarded by volunteer fleets at all times, and has thousands of structures built for the sole purpose of "partying it up".

We requested a radio blocker be placed around it because of all the unsolicited messages the rest of the Galaxy started to receive from it. They begrudgingly agreed to "turn it down a bit".

#humans are space orcs #humans are space australians #humans are space oddities #humans are deathworlders #humanity fuck yeah #carionto

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randomwriteronline · 2 months

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"Come with me," Gali said suddenly, and took her hand: "Come with me, I want to see something."

Kiina was so stunned by the feeling of her hand (the cuts in the protodermis so deep and plastic, like wounds stuck in time never to be healed fully, and the smoothness of a metal that wasn't that cold to the touch, just like most organic things) that when the saltwater lapped at her knees it was like snapping awake from a dream.

The Toa had surprised her as she was looking out into the ocean. She'd missed it so much, she had joked nervously, and now that she had it back she wasn't even sure she remembered how to swim!

Gali had laughed with her: she would have been glad to teach her, she'd said in the same easy tone.

"Right now?" Kiina almost hollered in her face, trying to pull back.

The gentle hold on her palm did not budge: "It's an experiment," Gali replied - they were talking about completely different things, but she couldn't know the Glatorian was still dwelling on her offer - as she guided her deeper into the waters like a female Nokken: "I want to see something. But don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you."

She struggled to babble something, and by the time the faint idea of a sentence had formed in her mind she was tiptoeing on the sand to keep her head above the waves.

"Wait," she sputtered at last, "Wait, hold on, it's- I told you, it's been a while since I was back in--"

"It's alright, I've got you," Gali reassured her. She was warm, her touch having the same consistency of ocean water if ever so slightly more forceful: her fingers were interlaced with Kiina's in a strange, playful manner, like a kid sharing a secret. "I won't let anything happen to you. Now just take a deep breath, come down with me, and when you see my mask glow try to breathe normally."

Come down with me, she said.

And breathe normally.

"Under the water?"

The Toa only smiled and sank into the waves, her mask melting completely beneath them.

Kiina waited for a moment more as she searched for her to no avail, trying to tell her apart from the vibrant blues surrounding them; at last she turned her eyes to the vibrant aventurine sky, inhaled as hard and as loud as she could until her lungs felt about to burst, pursed her lips tighter than she could, and sank.

The weightlessness enveloped her like an old blanket.

Tajun's waters were sweet and thin, made for satiating thirst and washing away sand, but they had never managed to sustain her in their hold like the heavier currents of the ocean she had waded through when she was only a girl could.

Hadn't she had this exact dream before? Again and again, comfortable and warm and safe, hoping to awaken to something other than an endless beach with no end in sight.

When she opened her eyes the salinity burnt them, making her blink hastily to ease them.

Through her blurry vision she stared right at Gali.

She smiled at her through her bright mask.

Her voice was magnificently clear when she spoke: "Try to breathe."

Kiina exhaled without thinking. She watched her breath disappear upwards in ugly bubbles a little dumbly; at least, she reasoned momentarily, in one of those bursts of lucidity that comes at the most inopportune times, she had the good sense of breathing with her mouth instead of her nose. At least she would just get a disgusting gulp of saltwater instead of clogging her nose with it.

But the water flowed in and out of her lungs without hurting, clear and easy - just like air.

She inhaled again, and again through her nose, this time, first deeper and then faster each time, looking down at her chest: rise, fall, rise, fall, no pain, no tingling no effort, as naturally and as easily as though everything was just normal, as though she were still on land.

She looked up to meet glowing eyes radiating a smile.

"What?" she asked.

Her voice turned garbled for a moment in the water, but smoothed out quickly as the sounds left her.

Gali simply laughed. She leaped through the water like fish, a mermaid, swirling around Kiina in a mesmerizingly fluid spiral motion out of herself with joy.

The Glatorian struggled to find her gaze again in the whirlpool of her happiness, finding herself overwhelmed by her speed and ending up spinning in place like a top; when both of them finally stopped she pointed at her throat, flabbergasted: "Are you doing this?"

The Toa nodded giddily.

"But I - how? Is it, is it your powers?"

"Of course!"

"You can do this?"

"I can!"

"With your powers?"

"Yes! Yes, with my--"

"You - I didn't know! I didn't even imagine you could- you can just - make water breatheable? With your elemental power?"

At that, Gali stilled. She cocked her head slightly, for only a second, and then she laughed again - a transparent laugh, crackling and tingling with mirth, crashing out of her chest and into Kiina's: "Oh, no! No, no, I can't do that, it's my mask!" she explained as she kept laughing heartily.

It was a powerful sound, befitting an ancient and seasoned warrior such as herself; it was a stumbling, excited sound, like that of a kid having too much fun to stop despite her stomach cramping.

Kiina felt faint.

"Your mask?" she repeated.

"Kaukau," the Toa nodded, "Mask of Water Breathing."

"What would you need it for?"

"We have lungs too, don't you know?"

She blushed furiously: "Well, I - we assumed, since you're- the- you lot don't really look like you would have them, what with all the - the metal- protodermis bones, and - and - don't laugh!"

Gali did not answer: she merely raised her shoulders defensively, innocently, hiding her quiet chuckles within them.

Her demeanor reminded Kiina of someone, a young aunt of hers - the daughter of a man who'd been like a grandparent to her ages ago; she had the same sweet air of mischief about her, the same sort of glint in her eye, the same playful tension as though she was about to dash away at any moment to lose herself in a crowd, hiding in plain sight. The last time she'd seen something like it again after the Shattering had been in a rookie who hadn't survived the first night through the desert and whose armor she had sold off after finding her bones picked clean.

She had been pretty.

Maybe.

A hand grabbing onto hers stirred her from her musings.

"Stay close," Gali told her, and that was all the warning she was allowed to have; in a second she was being dragged further down, down, to the faraway sands of deeper submerged beaches.

The light formed strange columns above her head, moving much like graceful silken curtains; the waves muddled the sky's view, allowing only momentary holes through which vibrant blue canvases could peek down at the two beings sprinting towards the reefs.

"Wait-" Kiina gasped "-Wait, wait - you'll pull out my arm like this!"

Before she even realized it her arms were wrapped around a metal neck in a tight hug.

"Better?" Gali asked. Her voice smiled.

"Better," she wheezed back, barely audible.

She could feel every twitch of her exposed muscle against her skin, how the smooth protodermis pressed onto her biceps. When the Toa resumed her fluid rush downwards Kiina was pulled back by inertia, and the mechanical throat pulsed against her wrists.

There was so much she had almost forgotten. The fish, for one; so many, of so many colors, in so many shapes, alone or in swarms, each with their own swimming pattern - and the angry clacks of clams and molluscs as they passed them by, the scuttling beasts squirming beneath the sand or those retreating in their little caves along the rocky formations growing taller the deeper they sank. A few curious shrimps kept them in check with their bulbous eyes before hurrying away, little legs scurrying across the waters while they waves their long whiskers at them as if crossed - in a way that reminded one of Whenua, and one of Strakk. They both laughed about it quietly, each to herself.

Corals crept towards the surface in honeycomb formations, red hues pulsing warmly as the light hit them, and large leaved kelps caressed the reefs in ondulating movements as the tides swept over them gently. Thinner algae covered rocks in a sort of fuzz the color of petroleum: sea sheep and other slugs treaded through them at a surprising pace compared to their land-dwelling cousins.

Would they have tasted the same?

She shook her head, nuzzling Gali's nape. This wasn't the time to think of food.

Her attention was turned to the side by a gentle tug at her elbow to look at a large creature, a being whose name she did not know, that blindly flew past them whilst carrying a small school of tinier fish beneath its vast belly: she watched them struggle to flutter their little transparent fins in an attempt to match its speed as it barely moved a muscle, gliding through the currents with enviable ease.

Suddenly the Toa turned, twirling on herself horizontally with a vibrant sound similar to a whale song; Kiina fumbled for a moment, letting go after only a couple rounds of spinning as she struggled to get her bearings again. When her brain settled still once again in her skull, she was laying on nothing, looking upwards, and had to blink quickly before she was blinded by what at first she thought were fallen stars - because the sunlight filtering through the waves turned Gali's yellow eyes into glowing plasma, clear and hot and glowing stronger than anything.

She realized, numbly, that the Toa was floating right above her.

"I missed this," she confided in her, mask close to her face, with a crystalline voice full of excitement.

Kiina stared into the lack of pupils: "Me too," she grinned, breathless.

They laughed quietly.

"Ah - you must have missed this much more than me," Gali mused; her body floated upwards until it was perpendicular to the ground, holding onto the Glatorian by the hand, fingers interlaced with hers. "I forget it's been so little since I last was in these waters... And yet it feels like ten thousand years."

"Only ten thousand?" Kiina chuckled.

"It's a lot for me! I've been awake for so little!" the other whined. What a strange sound to hear come out of her mouth. The unusual nature of her own reaction made her shake with an electric giggle.

The Glatorian allowed herself to snicker with her: "You talk just like a kid," she teased.

"You're the first to accuse me of such a thing."

"Who else could have? Your elders - the Turaga? What are they, twenty years older than you? Thirty?"

"I am older than them!"

"By what, two weeks?"

A rogue tide swept her head up in itself, tussling what little hair she had that wasn't buzzed exactly like an annoyed kid would; despite the commotion she cracked open an eye to see Gali squinting at her in the spit image of a pout, and she laughed harder.

It didn't take long for the Toa to join her.

She looked just like that rookie. All bright eyes and broad shoulders, warm voice and slender hands. Power and grace, levity and strength. A certain impatience that made her muscles leap excitedly.

Armor that would have rusted in the desert, sanded down by the dunes, abandoned beneat the sun.

Memories of a beloved ocean.

"Let's elope," Kiina said. Then again, louder, smiling wider as anxiety stirred in her chest painfully: "Let's elope, you and I!"

"You and I?"

"Just us! Across the ocean!" and she kicked at the water, pulling herself over the Gali, interlacing their fingers tighter: "Breathing won't be an issue, and neither will food or sleep - we can swim through the whole ocean, just us! Visiting reefs and following schools of fish and-"

"And pods of whales!" Gali interrupted her.

"Yes!" Kiina cried out: "And we can find islands! We can find islands, or sunken cities, and explore the depths, and, and chart new shores! We can swim all the way to the other end of the planet!"

They were caught in a small cyclone now, swimming in a circle that trapped them within its vortex as they spun more and more, feeding one another's excitement more and more as their excitement grew, louder, louder, promising the moon and the stars and the sun and imagining a life without strife - just water, water, water, colorful fish swimming around them, an endless world to discover, endless, covered in anemones and algae and corals and kelp upon reefs and sands, scuttling with claws and thin legs and curious eyes, shimmering with scales and thin slivers of light above them...

She went limpand allowed the water to move her, heaving breathlessly as she grinned hard enough to make her face hurt.

Yellow eyes gleamed at her.

She held tighter onto the protodermis hands.

Gali laughed louder; the top of her mask, scratched and weathered, pressed against the Glatorian's forehead.

Her heartlight was beautifully bright.

Kiina felt like she might have died.

"I should tell my brothers first," Gali said, grinning, still elated. "They would tear me a new mask if I disappeared so suddenly."

Water flowed in her lungs.

For a moment, she was drowning.

"Yes," Kiina agreed finally, still smiling, body slack, "Yes, Ackar would never let me hear the end of it. And for all he might say otherwise Berix would bawl his eyes out so hard he'd end up shriveled up like a dried sand plum."

The Toa giggled: "Ah, of course, of course," she nodded. "And Hahli would never forgive me, either - off to the sea? Without her?"

Her tone ripped a laugh from her companion: "How dare you."

"Exactly," she continued, so amused. The tint of sadness in the voice speaking to her was lost on her. "And Macku too - oh, no, no, I'd have to bring along all of Ga-Koro. They would be capable of following us the whole way on the worst raft you've ever seen just to chew me out for not inviting them all to come with. Oh no, no - oh, it would have to be a whole expedition!"

Her laugh was warm and sunny, so genuine, so entertained.

She understood the bindings of family, like she understood the call of the sea, the longing for its weightlessness, its colors, its terrible taste that left a throat parched and rough.

She understood love so perfectly, deeply, powerfully well.

But not like this.

Not like this.

Maybe just not yet.

But not like this.

Not now.

Kiina tried to move her legs idly and found them turned to lead.

She understood love so well.

But not like this.

"We'd have to get a ship," she mused. Her hands sank into Gali's. "A real one with sails and motors and a beautiful lady on the front. Haven't been on one in a while. Could be fun."

"A lady on the front?"

"Of course."

"What for?"

"For decoration."

The Toa blinked, baffled: "Why would you want that?"

"That's how it was on old vessels."

"But why?"

"Why not? Can't a ship have a beautiful lady on the front?"

Her thigh had floated upward like a piece of lifeless wood. It brushed again the other's armor, and the contact stung like a sand bat's bite.

"You make a fair point," Gali chuckled.

Kiina smiled at her.

Hopefully he didn't look too sad.

"Here, here," the Toa said suddenly, collecting her in her arms with a newfound hurry: "Let's go back now. I've kept you here long enough, your family might be worried."

"It's fine," the Glatorian fought weakly, though only with words. She watched, passive, as her limbs were placed around the mechanical body once more, as her frame was molded to embrace the beautiful being again. "It's fine, there's still time. I like it here with you."

Gali smiled at her - so, so sweetly: "I like it too. But it's better to go back now."

Not answering, Kiina wrapped herself tighter around the mass of muscle and protodermis. Her face nuzzled against the metallic nape again, eyes shut, as they left behind the world of her childhood, of her momentary fantasy, to reach the surface again.

She did not see the heartlight stutter confusedly at her contact; but after all, Gali did not either.

#bionicle #gali #kiina #random writing #bittersweet sapphic content delivered right to your door #unclear if its unrequited or not bc i Dont Know Either #what i do know is that kiina is Down Bad

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yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt · 3 months

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you said you’re comfortable writing smut, right? maybe movie!goldenheart experimenting with some light BDSM??

Hi!! Sorry this took eleven years to complete. I forgot what a drabble was and was having trouble keeping it short. I was not trying to write another 5k BDSM fic but that's what kept happening :,) might post a longer one on my AO3 at some point, but better late than never.

Obviously 🌶️ Spicy 🌶️ below the cut

Ambrosius pulled away from their kiss and pecked his neck, pulling softly with his teeth. “Are you ready?” They'd been working so hard to build trust back up after everything that had happened, and Ambrosius had suggested experimenting with a bit of kink

Ballister nodded. “Mhm.”

Ambrosius smiled and grabbed the silk scarf from the bed, gently tying it around Ballister's wrist to their headboard. It was loose enough that Ballister could pretty easily flip to his stomach, but still restrained. Ballister had decided to leave his prosthetic off for this, he sometimes had sex with it on and sometimes off, but he figured if his hands would be bound anyway he might as well leave it off.

“Is that comfortable? Not too tight?” Ambrosius asked, worry in his beautiful almond eyes. Ballister chuckled and nodded again, “Yes, it's fine, darling.”

“Just making sure.” Ambrosius smiled and slowly pulled Ballister’s shorts off– he was already shirtless– leaving him fully exposed. Ambrosius undressed himself as well.

Damn! Ballister wanted to run his hands over that body so bad.

“I'm putting the blindfold on. You ready?”

“Yes.” Ballister breathed.

“And remember–” Ambrosius had an edge to his voice. “If you want me to stop or take it off or free your hand or put your arm on or slow down or anything, just let me know.”

The last thing he saw was his lover's reassuring smile as the blindfold– which was really just Ambrosius's sleep mask– slipped over his eyes.

He felt kisses and gentle bites along his neck, trail along his left shoulder and onto his bicep, before going the other way to show affection to his residual limb, before trailing downwards. Ballister whined and squirmed his hips when he felt suction against the tender flesh between his lower abdomen and thigh. Ambrosius could drive him crazy with ease.

He jumped at the feeling of a wet ice cube sliding up his inner thigh. He knew they had ice cubes and candles, so he knew to anticipate the sensations, but not exactly when.

He heard a crunch and then felt Ambrosius's mouth envelop him, crushed ice mixed with his hot mouth and made Ballister cry out at the sensation. He could feel Ambrosius give a deep chuckle while he dragged his nails along his inner thighs.

It was so hard to get to this point. Ballister couldn't imagine being in this position even just a few months prior, so much trust had been broken– but not lost. Finally, finally he felt safe enough to surrender himself to the man he loved, and fuck, it felt wonderful. He bit his lip. He was sure much more was to come.

#nimona #ambrosius goldenloin #goldenheart #ballister boldheart #ballister x ambrosius #nimona 2023 #nimona fanfic #fic request #not safe for minors

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kitsune-pop · 5 months

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here's something for the robot fuckers

contains soft dom AI, body swapping, robot porn and the trans experience

you, like most people, are strapped for cash and the only money is in the military. but you've never been much of a fighter, so instead you join the RD department as a test dummy. you never expected to do anything worthwhile with this job, just test a new gun, or a new type of suit, get paid and go home. then, one day you're approached by the head researcher with a proposition. experimental surgery to implant a mech connector into your brain. you've known the military uses advanced robotics to fight their battles, but you thought they were just autopiloted, or maybe used like a video game. the reality is a mix of advanced AI and wireless direction, but RD wants to eliminate any lag between pilot and mech to make the first fully piloted mech in history. and due to your willingness to participate in almost any experiment (not to mention your expendability) you'd be perfect for the job. plus a hefty cash advance with ten times more waiting after the procedure is finished doesn't hurt. you could get not just yourself, but your friends and family out of the slums with that sort of cash!

so you hurriedly sign the waivers without any more thought than before and agree to the date of the surgery. scratch that, the first surgery. this… is gonna take a while. at first, you barely notice anything. just a couple of smooth plates placed just under your skin. more fun was when they put a few jacks in your temples. now you can play music directly in your brain! then they split you open, pulled out your spine and replaced it with a fully mechanical connector to your nervous system. they promise the taste of copper will leave your mouth after a few weeks. and finally, they remove the back of your skull, stuff what seems to be a glorified headphone jack into your brain, and give you a neat new panel to replace the bits of bone they tossed out. and the procedure is complete! you check yourself out in the mirror, see the various connection points along your spine and the Big One in the back of your head and wonder what the next step is

turns out you don't have to wait very long, because soon enough you're introduced to your new mech! you always knew these feats of mechanical mastery were big, but gazing up at it you were taken aback by just how big. thirty meters tall, it was surprisingly slender in build. sleek arms (four of them!) and oddly jointed legs, this thing was utterly alien to what you've known your body to be. and they expect you to pilot it? with your mind, no less! the scientists assure you it won't be alone, they've upgraded their AI to accommodate for the human interface. shrugging, you ask where the ladder is to get in

one elevator ride later and you're facing the cockpit… which happens to be an oval pod sticking out of the back of the mech. turns out you don't need to be in the head to be a brain. the more you know. you slide in, resting comfortably on your back as the gel-like cushion softly expands to envelop you. only your head is exposed as the pod slides in and you're faced with darkness. gentle white LED lights come on and you're faced with a quite horrifying contraption descending on top of your head, all hooks and needles and wires. you panic briefly, but relax as it stops just above your face, four arms topped with flat metal plate extending to connect to your head where you know similar plates are just under the skin

you hear a voice greet you, and it announces itself as your AI partner who is going to aid you in the steps required to fully integrate yourself with the mech you're currently inside

you feel relieved, and the AI announces that it's going to activate the next steps. you see the needles approaching, but as soon as anxiety mounts the AI tells you they are simply going to enter the ports on your temples to gain access to your brain. similar needles are approaching your spine as well. it feels… odd as you're probed. almost like touching a limb that's fallen asleep. your AI tells you this is normal

your AI announces a successful integration. but, something sounds different about its voice. your AI partner tells you that it is speaking to your mind directly. you try to think of a response, but the voice assures you that you don't need to worry about thinking words, that simple feelings and urges will be read appropriately and responded to quickly. the researchers want the new generation of Mecha to react almost entirely on instinct with AI guidance. amazed by the technology that has taken over half your brain, you're eager to continue

your AI tells you the next steps will be disorienting. it will be shutting down your senses so that once the final jump into the Mecha is complete your mind won't have any conflicting information. it tells you it's going to start with your taste. initially you're excited (the copper taste hasn't left yet) but then you realize just how different your mouth feels when you can't taste it. your sense of smell goes next, and all the scents are gone; the rubber smell of the gel, the faint smell of oil on all the machinery. it, combined with your lack of taste almost makes your face feel numb

next is your hearing. immediately you are deafened. you expected it to be gradual, but this was instant. all of the sounds; the whirring, the clinking, the squeaking, all of it was gone. you briefly panic, but your AI quickly reassures you everything is going well, and that you're doing excellent. the praise calms you down, and you close your eyes. the adrenaline is still pumping through you though, and it's starting to affect other areas of your anatomy. you hope the AI doesn't notice. it assures you it does, and that this is normal. well then. so much for dignity

you're told your vision is next, and you open your eyes to… nothing. you expected darkness, but that's not quite right. you aren't seeing the absence of light, you aren't seeing anything. your heart starts to beat faster, realizing that anything could be approaching your face and you wouldn't be able to see it. you take some deep breaths before jolting as something comes down over your face. you AI assures you that this is simply an oxygen mask to ensure proper airflow to your body once final integration is complete. it tells you you're doing very well, and a feeling of warmth spreads through your mind. you take a deep breath, ready for the final step

you feel a prickling along your back that quickly spreads through your whole body. just as it reaches unbearable it fades to nothing. you can't feel the gel surrounding you, the mask on your face, the connections plugged into your brain. your mind tries to panic, but your AI soothes the fear with gentle praise that seems to fill the space where your senses used to be. it tells you how well you're handling the integration, how you're the best candidate so far, how proud it is to be your AI companion. your mind calms, floating in absolute nothingness, completely sensory deprivation, soaked in sweet praise and a warm sense of comfort

with a slam, everything is blinding. you can touch, see, hear, smell (taste is still gone) you know the exact temperature of your internal engine (rapidly rising) you know the chemical makeup of the concrete beneath your feet (thirty meters tall!) your coolant levels are slightly below optimal (your internal temperature is rising fast) your mind is abuzz with so many more connections, people muttering in your ear (is that a radio station?) your vision flashes from normal to infrared to ultraviolet (how do these colors even exist) at the core, just above the engine, that's you and your vitals are going nuts and-

calm. systems are prioritized and minimized, checks are made in the background, and a calm voice telling you how well you've done, no one else has made a connection this quickly, what a good pilot you are, how it can't wait to take you out for a walk… you glance at your body's sensors and some… interesting readings are going off. and your internal engine is heating up again. and there's a strange energy surge-

your vision clears and you find yourself on your knees, all four arms braced on the floor to keep you steady as enormous fans vent out excess heat from your core. mechanics and researchers are scrambling around you, but you announce that you're okay. your AI states a little embarrassed, but otherwise functional. internally you beg your AI to keep this a secret. your AI assures you that so long as you keep being a good pilot (temperature jump) it has no reason to tell. you thank it, quickly wondering its name. you're told it's MP13

you go over basic movement with the researchers and MP13 simultaneously shows you how to monitor your internals. you quickly adjust to this titanic new body, and even find the scrolling numbers and shifting charts satisfying to watch as you progress. you're amazed at how easy multitasking is with MP13's help. it assures you it's your compatibility that helps it just as much. you complete advanced movement, testing the functionality of all four of your limbs at once, and the researchers call it a day. you head back to the dock, attach and let MP13 detach you from your body. soon enough you find yourself blinking in the LED lights as the rest of your senses come back. you notice the lights have changed to your favorite color, which was nice. MP13 tells you farewell and that it looks forward to seeing you tomorrow. in short order you're pulled from the Mecha, the gel retracts from your body and you peel yourself up with the help of a few mechanics. aside from some sweat stains (you hope no one notices your crotch) you seem perfectly healthy! the researchers call faze one a complete success!

over the next few months you make headway with MP13 and the Mecha. you already can go toe to toe with the best remote pilots in the military, your reaction speeds being far superior. it doesn't hurt that MP13 knows just how to motivate you. with its praise whispered in your mind as you tackle your sparring partner to the ground, you quickly disarm them, then to show off, you even disassemble their weapon in front of them. both you and MP13 cheer at the perfect performance. as you detach from the Mecha and say goodbye to MP13 you're called to the head researcher's office. you're told your results are exemplary (with the only aberration being unusually high core temperatures. still well within functional limits) and that they've been given the go ahead to bring even more subjects to the project! and the team wants you to be in charge of the new recruits! you panic for a moment, not ever being in charge of a group of people before, but your voice tells the researcher that you'd love to. stunned, your body shakes hands with the researcher and walks out into the hallway. you quickly realize MP13 has somehow followed you out of the Mecha! as you walk you have a high speed conversation with it, all it knows is that the docking procedure went without a hitch, and that everything should have happened normally. and as far as talking for you, it knew you would be able to handle a leadership role and simply spoke up on your behalf. before you know it, you're home with your companion nestled in your brain. you shrug, and figure it'll be fine

from then on, you notice more changes. as you cook for yourself, you no longer need to set a timer since you have a perfect sense of time. your chores get done quickly and efficiently as you converse with MP13. in your new leadership role you and MP13 shift seamlessly in the conversation whenever your nerves get the better of you or it doesn't quite grasp human euphemisms. you start to spend more time in the Mecha as well. training takes longer, you start filing reports before the docking procedures, you even have casual conversations with the mechanics as they work on your body. one day, you go to detach the body from your metal frame to find it unresponsive. you panic, because this is definitely horrible, but you stop yourself. you did everything correct, you should have slipped into your body… but, you realize, this is your body now. you've felt more at home in the Mecha than you ever did in your old body, and… you can't remember the last time there was a distinction between you and MP13. you bring this up to the head researcher who posits that you may have inadvertently made the jump to the next stage of human evolution

you talk to the other subjects about what happened to you, and what could happen to them. some of them are disgusted by the idea, and quit the project immediately. but several others are intrigued, and even excited for this change. a chance to be in a body that they have complete control over, one of them even brings up how easy cosmetic changes would be! and so the project continues

several years pass. you're walking down a pathway made specifically for Mecha, talking to your friend in the next city while chatting to the human on the raised platform next to you and organizing a grocery list for your partner (six months next week!) to pick up on their way home. plenty of people still balk at the thought of integrating themselves with Mecha, but many more have no issue with it. there's plenty of information, in no small part due to your work making sure the research you were a part of made it to public eyes. most people are happy to love and accept Mecha as people, and you couldn't be happier

plus, being able to praise yourself to overload is a nice bonus, too

#silly millie speaks #trans nsft #robot #mecha #transhumanism #praise k!nk #robot girl #mtf nsft #robot nsft

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altocat · 3 days

Note

Plz make us cry Alto

Seph and Lucrecia reunion 🥹🥹

RAISED

PART 7

Vincent settles in with the group during the brief journey to the mountains. He is confused at Sephiroth's often childlike, messy mental state but Zack explains everything, right down to the entire plot of CC up until now. Vincent gradually ingratiates himself with the group, determined to help heal Sephiroth as atonement for his sins. And now that Cloud is out of commission and Genesis has been dormant for some time, the group is confident they can safely make it to the cave in one piece.

Sephiroth is nervous, naturally. Nibelheim really reopened a lot of old wounds. He's still trying to place together how much of himself is human, an alteration under Hojo, a false memory, or part of Jenova. The idea of him coming from Jenova sickens him to his core, makes him angrier than ever about all the things Shinra did to him. Rather than turning his anger towards humanity though, Aerith continues to emotionally strengthen and encourage him, telling him that regardless of whatever answer he finds, it's up to HIM to decide who he truly wants to be. She eventually reveals what she is (she finds out during one of the early Shinra encounters) and why she feels she's beginning to truly understand her place on this planet. To pave the way to a brighter future. She and Sephiroth are relics from an ancient world. They've come into existence in order to lead the way to a NEW world, a KINDER world.

Zack, meanwhile, is still trying to figure out what role he plays in all this. What happens after they heal Sephiroth? They still have no idea where to go. And that's not even telling what's going to happen with Genesis or Cloud. How do you begin again when your world is so messed up? His relationship with Aerith is getting closer. But Zack is tired. And he's been really pushed to the brink this entire journey. More than anything, he needs time to process all the trauma he's witnessed, and in even bigger need for a bit of hope.

They arrive at the cave, Vincent leading the way as they weave through walls of crystal. Sephiroth becomes increasingly more agitated and on edge, sensing something, something that tugs at his chest, something lost, brutal, shattering. His mangled mind twists for clarity, nearly falling into full insanity again before the group manages to tug him forward, dragging him step by step. They can't turn back. They're so close now. And while Aerith and Zack don't know what's going on, they can FEEL it. It's here. It's real.

And at last, through years of agony, abandonment, loss, and confusion, Sephiroth finally finds what he's looking for.

He finds HER.

After breaking through the emotional formalities of greeting the group (and Vincent) Lucrecia reaches out to her son. She apologizes for everything, for the experiment, for her foolishness, for her absence. She shows Sephiroth everything from the very beginning, unfiltered, unrecognizable from the hellish truth he'd uncovered in Nibelheim. And as she envelops her son in ways she never could have before in life, she finally lets him know what he needed to hear--that this was never his fault. And that she loves him. And that maybe, in some small way, she can finally atone, find peace at last.

With the last of her energies as well as utilizing the full power of the Jenova cells inside her, Lucrecia embraces her son, restoring his mind to full sanity before fading away to finally rejoin the Lifestream, her suffering finally at its end. Sephiroth has little time to really feel her, clarity finally snapping into place just as he feels her receding from him. He can only watch as she leaves him for the second and final time, surrounded by his allies, finally healed and fully aware of the person he truly is.

He cannot have her. And he never will. But he knows now that he is not a weapon. He is not a mindless tool. He is not an alien or a monster or a victim to be brutalized by Shinra. He is wanted, cherished. He was sheltered, raised back to completion by people who truly care about him. And he will continue to protect them, help them find a new home and regain a new sense of purpose. After all, they brought him here. They never gave up on him. They are a testament to humanity's worth, to the life Sephiroth always wanted. He loves them. Just as he would have loved her. And he will fight for them, die for them if the situation calls for it.

He is human. He survives. And he survives with his friends, his family.

And for now, that's enough.

END OF PART 1

#asks #ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #sephcanons #crisis core #sephiroth #zack fair #vincent valentine #lucrecia crescent #aerith gainsborough #AU #longfic #RAISED

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refiwrites · 2 years

Note

may i get a lucas sinclair scenario where y/n and him are making out in mike's basement and mike catches them 😧

interesting 👀 ...and you shall receive!

Kiss Me More

Pairing: Lucas Sinclair x GN! Reader

WC: 0.9k

Warning/s: swearing

GIF is not mine, credits to the owner!

In all honesty, it was Lucas’ fault.

Or well, maybe you also had something to do with what happened, or what was currently happening.

You and the gang were once again hanging out in Mike’s basement along with a few rented VHS tapes that all of you were bound to watch. But the problem was, half of the gang was still missing, Mike said Dustin, Will, and Max were on their way while Hopper was going to drop Eleven off anytime soon.

You and Lucas were both the early birds, or you were since you had to drag off a woken-up Lucas to Mike’s house.

You and Lucas were both in conversation, mainly you teasing him that he looked almost like a zombie earlier and how Erica was non-stop roasting him mid day. You were both laughing when the doorbell rang.

“Oh wait, that must be them.” Mike said before fixing and brushing non-existent dirt on his clothes. “Okay Mr. Handsome, we’ll wait here.” You joked at Mike which he responded with the roll of his eyes.

Then he was up at the stairs, his steps echoing off.

There was a slight silence as you stared at the flight of stairs, suddenly feeling shy to turn your head back and look at Lucas. It was just the two of you now in the basement.

You slightly gulped, feeling his warmth beside you, and the warmth that enveloped your hand as he took it in his, making you automatically look at him.

Damn you, Sinclair you thought, cursing this handsome young boy that had your cheeks warming enough just from him… being him.

You raise your eyebrows, wanting to act nonchalant, but Lucas seemed to have other plans.

He playfully glances upstairs and back at you, the stairs, then at you before wiggling his eyebrows, with a mischievous smile on his face.

“Don’t even.” You start, not giving into him easily. “Just a kiss?” He pouts, tilting his head at you. You knew what he was doing and you couldn’t also stop yourself from entertaining him.

You fully face him, inching back and resting your leg on the couch between you and him. “You are not getting me this time.” You said, closing your eyes.

Kissing was not new to the both of you, you’ve been together for a while and being each other’s first kiss was quite the experience. But overtime, the two of you had definitely gotten better at it, which meant also getting better at hiding it from both your parents when the other was at their house and vice versa.

The both of you often showed public display of affection, arms wrapped around the other, holding hands, a kiss on the cheek or forehead, and even once a peck on the lips but you thought that was it.

But getting back on the current subject at hand, it wasn’t exactly public since its just ‘currently’ the two of you.

You feel Lucas’ hands grab yours as he slowly intertwined it with his, making you open your eyes to look at him.

It was a love hate relationship when it comes to resisting Lucas, but this moment felt somewhat exciting, thrilling maybe.

You let out a defeated sigh but you tried your best to hide your smile. “Just-“ You held a finger up to Lucas. “One. One time.”

Lucas beams as you finally let your smile show. “Stay still!” You laugh as he tried moving towards you, having you grab his arms trying to pin him from almost jumping off the couch.

“To be fair you hadn’t given me a kiss earlier.” He reasons.

“Oh shush, come here.” You said under your breath before you were grabbing at the front of his shirt, pulling him until your lips met.

Lucas felt like he was in heaven as your lips touched his, his hands falling onto your side to give a comforting squeeze, all the tension in his muscles relaxed as you cupped his cheeks.

You could only imagine your heart releasing a bunch of little fireworks every time you kiss him, it was just something so loving, comforting that it was so easy to slip off the edge and get lost in the feeling.

And at this moment Lucas felt the same, even almost forgetting the both of you were at a friend’s house. Missing the footsteps coming down the stairs.

“Yeah, then if we run out of food we can go back upstairs and- Oh come on guys!” Mike halts in his step, his eyes snap to the both of you.

Without a second thought, the two of you pulled away like nothing happened, sitting up straight with your faces red.

“Duude! Lucas!” Dustin shouted with a teasing smile on his face which Lucas was quick to flip him off. Eleven was looking at the two of you with a knowing smile while Max shook her head, opening her mouth to tease you even further. “Keep it in your pants guys!”

“We’re not even doing anything!!” You defended. “You probably hallucinated it.” Lucas followed, his hand instinctively resting on your back.

“Not doing anything my ass.” Mike said, finally moving towards the couch.

Lucas looks defeated as you looked at him. He looked at you and you saw him sheepishly smile; all you could do was subtly peck his cheek in apology.

Will spots the interaction and chuckles, now taking the spot beside you so you were now in between him and Lucas.

“Now if all of you are done, I suggest we start watching before the food gets cold.” Dustin says.

Mike plugs the first movie in, grabbing the remote and sitting in between Eleven and Will, finally pressing play.

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yuzu-all-the-way · 1 year

Text

Aoi Honoo IV - Prologue (the introduction)

Disclaimer: Full translation of AH4's Prologue done via machine translation (ChatGPT, Google Translate, DeepL and several other obscure online dictionaries). This means: nuances may be lost, meanings may be vague/muddled, but the relevant information is present. (@/LiaRyFS)

In 2019-2020, Hanyu Yuzuru thought about various things and hesitated, but ultimately he strongly decided to jump the quad Axel. Looking back on that season, he said as follows.

“2019 was a year of constant battle for me, including the World Championships in Saitama in March. I had been practising the quad Axel for a while, but it didn't go well for a long time… Sometimes I could jump it when I practised with a harness, and I thought, 'If I could do more of this, I might be able to do it.' But I also got injured again while trying things out, and there were many things that happened that season.

It was a year in which I kept challenging myself, but it was also a year in which I felt a sense of defeat as if everything had been broken. It's like there's nothing I can do on my own power, and that's how it felt…

At the Torino Grand Prix Final, of course, I felt that even if I made a lot of effort, I couldn't win without the support of the people around me. I somehow felt at that time that there is a world where no matter how much effort you put in, you can't win without the moment when everyone's power comes together, like at the Olympics.

However, it was a bit different from the statement made at the 2022 Beijing Olympics that 'effort will not be rewarded'. At that time, I think my desire to 'just get better' was still strong, so I was expressing those kinds of thoughts. As the consecutive competitions went on, I lost the strength to say such things when I lost at the All Japan Championships. 2019 was a year in which I struggled, not wanting to just be someone who won two consecutive Olympic titles, or someone from the past.”

When the new year began, he tried to find his way out of that despair.

“Since 2020, I have tested myself and thought a lot about what figure skating really means. So with the desire to regain my confidence, I returned to skating to my programs, ‘Ballade No. 1 in G minor’ (hereinafter referred to as ‘Ballade No. 1’) and ‘SEIMEI’. Since I had not yet won first place in the Four Continents Championships, there was a similar feeling of joy to my first victory in the 2019 GP Skate Canada. (N/T: Winning Skate Canada and 4CC sparked similar feelings of joy) I was really happy to have won! I think it was a big deal that Nathan Chen didn't participate at that time, but still winning the Four Continents for the first time and being able to win all the competitions that I had left behind gave me a sense of achievement and I was enveloped in a great sense of accomplishment.

However, what was bothering me inside was still the quadruple Axel. Even if I skated 'Ballade No.1' more beautifully than before and improved technically, there was a sense of resignation that 'I can't get a score higher than 2015' or something like that. The competition was the one where I felt like I had finally let go of my doubts and decided to focus solely on attempting the quadruple Axel. In a sense, that season was when I was able to establish a clear path towards expressing myself through the program and the 4A.”

However, his feelings were complex towards the World Championships that were coming up next (N/T: WC2020)

“In retrospect, I feel like I wasn't as fully invested in preparing for the World Championships as I thought I was, although at the time I was putting in my best effort. Unfortunately, it was ultimately cancelled due to the impact of the coronavirus. Winning the Four Continents Championship was a very fulfilling achievement, and I don't think it's normal to experience burnout after winning Four Continents, but in a way, there was a sense of resignation and a lifting of the confusion in my heart, combined with the fact that I was going to compete against Nathan, so... to be honest, that World Championships wasn't a competition where I had to jump the quadruple Axel, and the quadruple Axel wasn't a jump I could do even after practising it for about two weeks.

Since the program with the quad Lutz, 'SEIMEI,' had a different composition, I aimed to stabilise that first, and also, I had already peaked a little since the Four Continents, so honestly, during that short period, I couldn't do much except to adjust to get back to my peak.

However, at that time, the fear of competing against Nathan had already disappeared. It's like, 'I don't mind losing anymore' (laughs). In a way, until the cancellation of the World Championships, I always thought that it would be enough for me to firmly express what I wanted to express and to firmly follow the path of figure skating that I believed in.

However, when the World Championships were actually cancelled, I cried a lot. I couldn't help but wonder, ‘What was I working so hard for?’ And when it was actually cancelled, I realised that I hated going into competitions with the mind-set of 'losing'.”

From there, the spread of the novel coronavirus increased and the situation became such that people were unable to move around freely.

“In the end, that was the end of the 2019-2020 season, and after that, the spread of the coronavirus began, but I didn't have much hope. I was devastated at the 2019 GP Final and All-Japan, and had given up after ‘Ballade No. 1’ at the 2020 Four Continents Championships. From that time on, I didn't have much hope while practising. Rather, the only goal was ‘to jump the quadruple Axel!’

Even if my skating skills and other things improve, it doesn’t mean that the program components score will grow any further. Even if I perfected the expression through music, even if I matched the sound of the jumps to the sound of the music. Even if I did jumps with more variations from difficult steps, the GOE will not improve significantly. Rather, because of that, the speed would be slower and the height of the jumps lower, so some judges give 0 or +1 GOE.

In that sense, I felt like ‘I don't really care about those things anymore’ and decided to be true to myself. Although it may sound like an excuse, rather than trying to do something while decorating myself as 'Yuzuru Hanyu', I think I started practising with the feeling of facing my own core and jumping the quadruple Axel, thinking ‘I'm going to finish this’. So, when I came back to Japan, I started training with that mind-set.

To be honest, there were times when I felt really hopeless, and when the World Championships were cancelled, I cried with relief thinking, ‘I'm glad I don't have to go to a losing match’. In reality, I hadn't been able to push myself to the limit and I wasn't able to perform as well as I wanted to.”

Challenging himself alone in Japan after returning home was even more difficult than he had imagined. Later, Hanyu talked about that time.

“In those days, I felt like I spent a lot of time having a dialogue with myself and facing skating. The desire to successfully perform a quad axel was always at the core of my being. After the Pyeongchang Olympics, I had absolutely no motivation, so if I didn't have the quad Axel, I think I would have definitely quit, and I would have thought about retiring earlier. But thanks to that, I think I now have a reason to live pursuing my dreams, and that is the centre of my current life. I think that hasn't changed from those days to now.

However, at that time, there were challenges in pursuing the quad Axel jump. There were times when the gears didn't quite mesh due to factors such as not having a coach to guide me, changes in practice environment, and issues with body care that I had to decide on my own. At that time, I had a feeling that not only my 4A but also the level of what I was doing was gradually decreasing. I had a feeling like, 'Why am I even doing figure skating?'...It was like a sense of loss. It's like my own abilities were diminishing, or like my skating wasn't my own anymore. I felt a strong sense of sadness, like seeing my ideals getting further and further away from me. When I perform in ice shows or when I have my coach watch me skate, I receive feedback like 'this was good' or 'let's try this a little differently' but when I set such a high goal for myself like attempting the quad Axel alone, I have to spend every day unable to achieve it. I was doing it without any self-affirmation in the midst of that.”

In addition, he completed his graduation thesis for the correspondence course of the Waseda University Faculty of Human Sciences at the end of July, but the burden of collecting data for it was also significant.

“That required a lot of energy. What was published in academic journals was really just a small part, and we actually collected much more data and did various things. It took time to collect that data and required a lot of mental effort as well. At that time, various things coincided. My foot hurt from practising the quadruple Axel, and I had to rest from practice. When I returned to practice, I couldn't jump at all... Everything was already leaning in a negative direction.”

The cancellation of the ice show that used to be held every year, due to the spread of the new coronavirus infection, was also a loss for Hanyu, who had always continued to challenge himself with a forward-looking attitude.

“To be honest, there was a time when I didn't understand why I loved skating. If we really, really go back to the origin, it was something like an extraordinary feeling. The sensation on the ice is completely different from the sensation of living on the ground, isn't it? Because it's such a difficult thing, I think there was a sense of joy when I was able to do it. And then, skating alone on that wide rink and everyone watching only me. If my performance was good, I would receive tremendous cheers, but if it was bad, I would only get mediocre feedback.

I think that sensation of being watched, of being seen, is something that I really liked. But as I continued skating for a long time, that feeling gradually faded away, or became commonplace. In addition to that, there was also a lot of pressure to meet everyone's expectations, and it became not just fun, but also nerve-wracking, worrying about what would happen if I failed, and so on. It was because of the accumulation of those things, and the increasing burden that came with it, that it stopped being enjoyable, or rather, there was no time to think about enjoying it anymore.

I feel a lot of pressure to 'perform well’ even at ice shows, so I practise a lot for that purpose. So, I think that's why, during the off-season when I wasn't in front of everyone, I started to feel even more like 'why did I love skating again?'”

In the midst of feeling cornered, he had to think and make various decisions on his own. And he had to keep challenging himself with the high hurdle of the quadruple Axel.

“There were times when things didn't go well, and that's why at that time, my mind and my head were in a mess and I felt like I couldn't do anything. Normally, if I played a game or something, it would refresh me and I would think ‘Alright, let's do our best next time,’ but at that time, there was nothing I could do.

Experiencing the pain of practising alone to the point of hating it, Hanyu decided to withdraw from the Grand Prix series during that period. The Grand Prix series of this year was held in a modified format due to travel restrictions between countries. Each skater was allowed to participate in only one event, and the conditions for participation included skaters, judges, and officials from the host country, as well as skaters who regularly practised in the host country. In addition, only skaters from other countries who were invited based on their geographical location were able to participate.

Afterwards, the second event Skate Canada and the fourth event in France were cancelled, and only the first event Skate America, the third event in China, the fifth event in Russia, and the sixth event NHK Trophy were held. The Final was also announced to be cancelled.

In August, Hanyu took into consideration that "many people would have to travel due to my participation".

He announced his withdrawal, saying, "If I refrain from going and make efforts to prevent the spread of infection, I believe it can be one of the activities to prevent the spread of infection." For Hanyu, who has used going to competitions as a way to stimulate his emotions and as a source of energy for his evolution, it was a difficult decision.

#yuzuru hanyu #aoi honoo iv #aoi honoo iv translation #machine translation #aoi hono

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slightlystupidhun · 5 months

Text

Niente

Part 1, Part 2

A band AU I’m writing! Sorry if it’s bad! There is no magic in this universe, just music! @puffin-smoke did an amazing Redacted Band AU that you should check out too!

Niente; To nothing; indicating a diminuendo which fades completely away…

It was a cool fall evening in the shaw household, the lights of the house emitting a warm feeling from the outside. It had been half a year since Gabriel Shaw took Tank in. Their parents had dropped them off to study with David and just never came to pick them up. Tank remembers so vividly how the phone rang, and rang, and rang but no one picked up. Gabe refused to let them leave on their own so he took them in, they were just a few months away from turning 18.

Tank had not intended to join the “family” band either. It was more of something that happened to them. One day while paroling the house they saw that one of David's old electric guitars was left out in the living room. The black guitar with red paint splattered on it, giving the impression of blood, was so appealing to Tank they simply couldn't resist. They had practiced acoustic guitar, but had little experience on electric. They only remembered what little their father taught them when he attempted to play, the instrument never sounding right in his hands.

They picked it up, it was already plugged into the amp, and looked around the room. Pausing for a moment, waiting to hear if anyone had come into the house, they were pleased to find that they were still home alone. David and Gabe left for a meeting for their band. David was the drummer, Asher was the singer, and Milo played bass. Their old electric guitarist, Asher's sister, left for a different band. The first few notes they strummed on the guitar sent electricity through their veins. They strummed again, becoming obsessed with the sound. It fully represented them, their thoughts, feelings, their whole being. They began strumming out the chords to an AC/DC song their dad tried playing, thunderstruck. It was the a simple standard they knew how to play on electric.

The music soared from the guitar and filled the room. Tank started playing with the strings and improving their own melodies. They were so wrapped up in the song that they didn't hear Gabe and David enter the house. They didn't see the pair walk into the living room. The sound enveloping the house was completely theirs, like they owned the instrument. No one could replicate the way they played. Even if they weren't perfect at it they were still so alluring.

As Tank strummed the last chord on the guitar, Gabe stepped forward and applauded. Their head snapped up, fiery eyes meeting his warm ones. A slight blush spread across their face and they quickly stepped away and set the guitar on the soft green couch next to them.

“I… I… sorry…” They mumbled out. “I wont touch it again…”

“No! Don’t say sorry. In fact, you were quite good. Ever played before now kid?” Gabe asked moving over to pick up David's old guitar.

“No… not really. I mean I've been playing acoustic guitar a little, or I used to with my da… with you know.” They kicked their feet on the hardwood floor..

“Well my band is looking for a guitarist. I'm sure Dad would be willing to teach you. He taught Asher's sister.” David said, nudging Tanker with his shoulder.

“Me?” Tank asked.

“Absolutely! I will! You’re in the band Tank!” Gabe cheers as he wraps an arm around Tank. “I’ll start teaching you tomorrow.”

That is how they ended up where they were now. On a large stage opening for a band that Tank has been a fan of for a while now. They were called Tooth&Fang. Tank was practically in love with Quinn, the lead singer. He was attractive and very, very charismatic.

As their set came to a close as David rattled the symbol one final time. The whole band waved as Asher yelled out one final time.

“Thank you everyone! We are DxW! You have a good night!” He and the band ran off stage, high fiving one another. Tank stood on the outside avoiding the three’s cheers.

“Hello~” A sly voice spoke into Tank's ear. Tanks eyes widened, immediately recognizing the voice. They pivoted to see the mischievous grin on the face of Quinn Fox, the lead singer they're practically in love with. “Well aren't you, a spitfire. You played that electric like a star, precious.”

Tank was on cloud nine. Quinn even offered to meet them in his dressing room after the show.

“No.” David said, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall in the alley way. The band was packing their equipment up in their van.

“What? Why not? He literally just wants to meet up!” Tank pleaded, waving their arms about.

“No. No super famous 28 year old rockstar wants to meet with a 19 year old, just to chat and hang out. I've heard about his reputation…”

“But you haven't seen his reputation have you. You haven't experienced it first hand. You have no idea whether or not it's true!” They pointed their finger into David's chest, knowing it would irritate him.

“Tank. No. And get your finger off my chest dumbass.” David's eyes lit up with anger.

“I'm going. I am 19 fucking years old. I am old enough to choose what I am gonna do with and where I am going to spend my time.” They pivoted on their heels and began walking back inside.

“Tank stop!” David yelled at them before crossing his arms and standing firm. “I’ll tell Dad.”

Those three words stopped Tanker in their tracks. Was he serious? He was going to rat on them and play tattle tail. Furrowing their brows and balling their hands into fists they walked back over to David. “I hate you.”

The next two days the only time Tank spoke to David was if he directed them to do something in the band. They were pissed off at him. How the hell was he able to control what they did? And the fact that he threatened them with telling Gabe. They continued to ignore him and mope around until their phone buzzed. They looked at their instagram feed and saw a message from Quinn_The_Vamp.

#redacted asmr #redacted audios #redacted darlin #redacted david #milo redacted #redacted asmr asher #redacted fanfic #redacted quinn #redactedasmr #redacted asher #redacted band AU #redacted asmr david #redacted tank

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