#just recently discovered their channel and they’re so fucking funny
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i’m sorry but the fact that rin is canonically flunks most of his class except for english (cause he be on that sigma soccer grindset babyyy) has been lingering in my mind for like a week or so oh my god
like imagine him not caring enough about those classes (why care about your geometry grade when you’re gonna be the best striker anyway or whatever’s going on in his head) until one of his teachers nags him about improving his grades, even suggesting a tutor. at first he’s way too prideful to seek help from a tutor but the teacher’s incessant nagging made him give in and find a tutor who’s happens to be another student in his school, most likely an upperclassman.
while he’s waiting for you to show up clearly running a few minutes late, he mumbles to himself about how unnecessary and “lukewarm” this tutoring shit is.
when you finally showed up and gave your quick apologies for your tardiness, you took one look at rin’s impatient/borderline judgmental face and decided it was best to cut out the fluffy introductions and dive straight into it.
he’s pretty reluctant about telling you what exactly he’s having trouble with in class since being here already bruises his ego enough. not to mention, he’s very doubtful about your skills as a tutor (definitely isn’t personal ofc, he just be like that). you, of course, prove him wrong and also get him to share what he’s struggling with so you can actually help. then surprise! surprise! he already shows a lot of improvement by the end of the session.
the way you get him to open up about his academic struggles with ease kinda freaks him out but he goes along with it
there was just something about your patient yet stern way of teaching that made rin drawn into that made him focus up and actually work. clearly a step up from his shitty lukewarm teachers. after that session, rin soon found himself booking another one… then another… and another after that… ok look you just have an efficient way of teaching that does not cut into his precious soccer time. it’s not because of any other reason, he swears!
i imagine when he lowers his walls and slowly starts falling in love, he becomes a huge mess internally. can you blame him though? he’s never done this before. he’s never felt this before. oh my god. what do people even do when they’re in love?? what the hell even is love??? someone please answer him before he starts spiraling!!!
while these questions run around in his head, he watches as you explain the assignment he has to do for one of his classes, too engrossed in teaching to notice the redness on his neutral face
eventually he accepts his feelings for you but he’s still very lost on what to do now. after all, he has only had people fawn over him and he has never returned those feelings before. thus he has no idea what to do when he’s actually interested in someone and gets stuck for an indefinite amount of time.
oh rin itoshi. the man who can literally psychoanalyze the opposing team in 0.005 seconds and knows when to perfectly strike also has absolutely no clue on when and how to ask someone out.
so now the ball is in your court if you reciprocate his feelings and want to become more than just mere tutor and student
a.n.: this was supposed to be a three sentence thingy idk what the fuck just possessed me today
#★ snail.writes ★#rin x reader#rin itoshi x reader#rin itoshi#shout outs to that one bllk fun fact post that made me wanna read rin’s light novel#rin x gender neutral reader#rin x gn reader#blue lock imagines#bllk#blue lock#blue lock x gender neutral reader#blue lock x reader#blue lock x gn reader#wrote this while watching aaron and jo#just recently discovered their channel and they’re so fucking funny
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a strange love | yuta (m)
title: a strange love
pairing: alien!yuta x black!reader
genre: sci-fi/fantasy, fluff, angst, smut
request: “I read a good chunk of your NCT work and really liked them. Would I be able to request a fic where a black female reader meets an alien (can be Yuta or Jungwoo) and they're both coming to terms that they're attracted to each other and have to come to terms with being attracted to someone of a different species? Can be smutty and don't be afraid to give the alien a less human biology if you don't mind.”
word count: 13.1k
warnings: alcohol use, cursing, near drowning experience, lots of mentions of water so this one might not mesh well with people w/ aquaphobia, non-human biology/body horror, extraterrestrial sex, lots of cum, oral sex (female receiving), tentacle dick, unprotected sex, creampie, please heed the warnings because this is an alien smutfic lmao
a/n: giving the shape of water teas. i’ve actually never seen that movie 😕 but i will at some point. forgive me in advance for the nerdy references in here.
It’s funny how things happen when you least expect it. You never would’ve thought you’d be sound asleep when your entire world changed.
The night the UFO crashes in your city, you’re awoken by the tremors of its landing. The vibrations feel akin to an earthquake, and they make picture frames and other trinkets fall off your shelves and hit the floor in a clatter of noise. You jump up from your pillow at the racket, your heart pounding. You glance at the things lying on your floor and quickly register that the room—your entire home—is trembling.
There’s not much you can do at this point but ride it out, so you huddle down in your covers and hope the roof doesn’t cave in on your head. To your knowledge, your particular area isn’t known for earthquakes, which makes all of this even stranger. What could be causing one now? Is the world finally ending?
Eventually, the tremors stop. By now, your shelves have been emptied of nearly all their contents, but you’re still alive, which you’re grateful for. You wait a few more minutes to see if the shakes will begin again, but they don’t, so you climb out from the warmth of your covers to clean up your floor.
Police and ambulance sirens start blaring through the city not long after you get out of bed. That’s nothing unusual; there are usually injuries and casualties with natural disasters like these, and you expect many poor souls will be needing rescue tonight. You sigh and look at your closed blinds, watching them be sporadically illuminated by the lights of the emergency vehicles rushing past.
Once you’ve cleaned up your room and gotten back in bed, you think about checking social media for what people have been saying about the quake. There’s no doubt that the city’s residents have taken to Twitter and Instagram to document it. However, your eyelids are already starting to droop, and you’d probably fall asleep in the middle of scrolling, so you decide to tuck in and wait until morning.
Waking up the next day almost seems like a normal Sunday until you look at your blinds again and are suddenly reminded of last night’s flashing lights. Right. The earthquake. Throwing the covers back, you stumble out of bed to turn on your TV. You flip through the channels until you find a news station for your local area. You go to open the blinds, keeping your ears open for reports on the earthquake.
“Last night, we experienced unprecedented seismic activity throughout the majority of the city, caused by what appears to be an unidentified flying object, otherwise known as a UFO—”
Huh?
You turn to the TV, thinking this must be some kind of ridiculous hoax. You get ready to reach for the remote, thinking you must have turned it to one of those parody news channels by accident, but you freeze at what you see. Video footage of the city center—or what used to be the city center—plays on the screen. In place of the large historical monument that used to stand there, there’s a huge...silver and black spaceship. Or at least you think it’s a ship. It apparently sustained major damage in the landing, and now it looks more like a hunk of melted metal. The area around it has been blasted clear in every direction. Instead of green grass and pavement, there’s nothing but dirt.
The area is blocked off with yellow tape, though hundreds of people have gathered at the location to check out the object and take pictures and videos of it.
“What the fuck…” you whisper to yourself.
“We’re currently unsure where this UFO originated from, though we can confirm that it is not affiliated with any aircraft fleets owned by the U.S. military. Researchers and scientists from top universities across the country are being called in to assist in identifying this craft…”
“There’s no just way,” you mutter, grabbing your shower cap and pulling clothes out of your closet for your morning shower. “A UFO...guess that alien invasion is coming sooner than we thought.” You would like to believe it’s all just someone playing a terrible prank, but pulling off this level of theatrics is impossible.
After you get out of the shower and start making breakfast for yourself, you get a text from one of your coworkers, Alex.
10:30 A.M.
Alex🍸
You seeing this shit on the news right now?
10:31 A.M.
Obviously! It’s fucking wild. Do you really think it’s true? OR some elaborate government hoax? Anything’s possible. I’m betting “true,” but...
10:33 A.M.
Alex🍸
I honestly don’t know. that’s why me and some of the others from work are about to head over there now. Wanna come?
10:34 A.M.
The hell! I’ll pass. There could be all types of radiation n shit, I’m not tryna turn into the Green Lantern or the Hulk or somebody.
10:35 A.M.
Alex🍸
lmFAO. Suit ypurself. If I gain superpowers don’t be surprised if I fly over to your house today.
10:35 A.M.
You’re a mess. 💀
You spend breakfast watching more news reports and scrolling through Twitter feeds for firsthand information. People who visited the site, including your coworkers, have uploaded pictures of the UFO from various angles, inciting a frenzy of conspiracy theories and warnings that the world is about to end.
You don’t know what to make of the situation, but it stays on your mind throughout the day as you leave the house and go about completing your usual errands. The city center has been blocked off to all vehicles other than those belonging to people who’ve been called in to help, which means that traffic is sky-high everywhere else—even for a Sunday.
Sitting in a mishmash of cars, you roll down your window and sigh, looking out at the red traffic lights, and beyond that to the horizon. Things are about to get very weird for the next few weeks. Maybe months. You can only hope you’re prepared for it.
You don’t know why, but the air seems strange tonight.
It’s been 2 days since the UFO crashed. There haven’t been many more answers apart from what everyone already knows due to the ship’s destroyed state. The city has professionals out for that sort of thing, but they’re taking their sweet time analyzing the ship—though you can’t really blame them. Jumping straight into unknown alien tech seems like a death wish.
Your life has been pretty much the same as usual, though you know a few people at work who have been more directly affected by the events. One girl, Sooyoung, who lives in the neighborhood near the crash site claims the officials are thinking about having that entire area evacuate, though you don’t know why they’re beating around the bush about it if it’s true. Whatever radiation or chemicals they’re worried about has probably already leached into all the surrounding homes, and now you’re just waiting for someone to walk into your workplace with antlers or purple skin.
Admittedly, you’re morbidly curious about the case and what all of this could mean for Earth’s future, but you keep your fascination lowkey. You don’t need any of your coworkers thinking you’re the next alien-obsessed Mulder from X-Files. But then again, you’re not curious enough to visit the actual scene, so maybe you’re not the crazy one here.
You feel fine when you get home from work that day, but as you get washed up and settle into your usual evening routine, you can’t shake the eeriness gripping your subconscious. It’s not necessarily a bad feeling, either, just...foreign. Like an emotion you’ve never felt before, though you didn’t know there were even still new emotions to discover. Shaking your head, you figure maybe you should lay off the alien stuff for the rest of the week.
Before you head to bed that night, you go around the house making sure all the doors and windows are locked as you normally do. You pause at the backdoor for a reason you can’t explain, and the strange feeling grows stronger. At this point, you’re a bit frightened about what this is all about, but you can’t go to sleep without knowing. Curiosity takes over as you open the blinds and stare into the darkness of your backyard.
You don’t see anything right away. There are trees, bushes, your potted plants, and lawn chairs...everything looks normal. It’s only when you lean closer to the glass to squint that you see a figure lying in the grass. You jump once you catch sight of it, terrified that some monster or murderer has found their way onto your property. There was nothing there earlier when you closed the blinds, so whoever or whatever it is must’ve recently showed up.
You’re about ready to dial 911 when you realize the figure is curled in the fetal position and unmoving...almost like they’re unconscious. Or dead.
This is ridiculous. You feel like one of those people who always dies first in the horror movies because they went into the room the killer was obviously hiding in, but you’re overcome with the strong impulse to step outside. You grip the doorknob tightly, debating whether you should unlock it or not.
“...Fuck. Don’t let me regret this.”
You open the door with your phone in hand, the device serving as your flashlight. There’s still the screen door to get through, which you pause at for a moment. The figure remains unmoving even with the sound of the door opening.
“Hello?!” You call out to the individual, but there’s no response. Your phone’s light can’t reach them from there, which forces you to open the screen door and step out onto the porch. They’re still feet away, but from this closer distance, it seems like they’re wearing a sort of armor or full-body suit...maybe like a cosplay?
“Hope this isn’t some weirdo weeb passed out on my lawn…” you mutter, cautiously stepping onto the grass. As you approach, you can see now that the figure is likely male, though their back is to you so you can’t be totally sure. “Um, hello there? Can you hear me?” No response.
By now, you are only a few feet away from them. The person looks to be an Asian guy, with long blonde hair haloing his face. His features are angular and smooth, and he is indeed wearing some kind of body armor, its color unlike anything you’ve seen. Instead of being all one hue or even a few, it reflects the light from your phone and glows with a rainbow-like phosphorescence. The material itself looks translucent, but you can’t see through it; it creates a mind-bending optical illusion.
Your stomach suddenly drops to your feet. Is this who was in that UFO in the city center? It seems too out-there to be true, but your intuition is telling you otherwise. This can’t be fucking real.
You kneel on the wet grass next to the man and try to look for signs of life. You can hear his breathing, so he’s thankfully not dead. But he doesn’t look to be in good shape, either. He definitely won’t be able to get up on his own; he probably used the last of his energy to drag himself into your yard.
“Damn.” You turn the flashlight off and slip your phone into your sweatpants pocket. It seems like there’s no other options right now. You could call the police, but they’d probably accuse you of being in cahoots with this weird dude and drag you off to jail. Or they could cart him off for government experimentation, which sounds equally terrible. So with those things in mind, you gently maneuver his upper body until you’re able to hook your arms under his armpits and drag him towards your house.
You just really hope none of your nosy neighbors are seeing this right now.
He’s surprisingly light, and you get him inside the house fairly quickly. Once you’ve locked the door again, you pull him over to the living room so he’s propped against your couch. He still isn’t fully conscious, but his head and lips move as if he’s dreaming about something.
“What was that…?” You lean closer, trying to read his lips for some sort of clue. Surprisingly, you can make out the word water, which he mouths over and over again. “Water…” You run into the kitchen to pour a glass and bring it back to him, making sure not to spill any on the way over.
You press it to his lips, unsure if he’ll be able to drink, but to your amazement his muscles respond and he drinks quickly as you tip the glass. Soon, the water is all gone. You set the glass to the side with your palms sweating and watch as his face flutters even more.
“Can you...hear me?”
His eyes open only slightly. This movement seems to cause him some pain, though you aren’t sure why. Maybe he has a headache since he was dehydrated? You scramble to turn the overhead light off, not wanting to make matters worse. He still doesn’t try to open his eyes any wider, though.
“Who are you? Were you...did you crash here?” You feel a little bad about asking so many questions, but you’re dying for answers as to what the hell is going on.
The man licks his lips, and his mouth parts like he’s going to answer. But his throat is still dry, and it hurts to talk.
“...Shit.” You get him another glass of water and let him drink until it’s gone again. He seems a little better after that.
“Th-this...” He clears his throat a couple times and tries again. “This is E-Earth, right?”
Now you’re the one lost for words. Although you already figured he couldn’t be from here, hearing it out loud makes your blood rush and your heart race. “Um, yes...this is Earth. Was...the UFO yours?”
He sighs, and his head falls back against the couch arm. “Yes.”
“It’s destroyed,” you say, and then feel silly about it. “But you already know that.”
He doesn’t answer that. He just slowly glances around your living room instead, looking as if he’s never seen a stranger setup. The quietness is awkward, and you almost feel like he must be judging your taste for interior design. “Do you have a name?”
More silence. You decide he probably won’t answer until he finally says, “You can call me Yuta.”
“Yuta.” You tell him your name too, and he just nods, almost imperceptibly. He doesn’t say much without prompting, which makes it hard for you to know how to approach the situation. You don’t want to overwhelm him with questions, but it doesn’t look like he’s going to speak unless you do. “How did you end up here? I mean, in my—uh, my yard?”
Yuta shakes his head and then winces. “I crashed, and then...I just ran. The ship was melting. I just ran. I hid...I went from place to place, hiding. Don’t know how I got here.”
You wonder how he made it all the way from the city center to your home without being spotted, especially with that armor. You can only conclude that he must be stealth at hiding. Or maybe someone did spot him and the feds are about to bust down your door any minute. You take a shaky breath and try to push that anxious thought to the back of your mind.
Suddenly Yuta fixes you with a suspicious glare. “Will you reveal that I’m here?”
You try not to get offended, because you’d honestly be thinking the same if you were a newly-landed alien in a foreign land. “No. I don’t have any reason to do that. I just want to help. I’m not looking to be on anyone’s 6 o’clock news or cheap tabloid. You probably don’t believe me, but you can have my word for it...if that means anything to you.”
He’s quiet again, though you can tell he’s still skeptical.
“Um, do you need anything? More water?”
He sits up straighter at the mention of that. “Water.” You reach for the glass again, but he frowns. “Not that. I need…something more than that.” He looks around again, but when he doesn't see what he’s searching for, he attempts to stand only to slump down again.
“Slow down there, I don’t think you’re gonna make it like that. Can I help?”
You end up slinging his arm across your shoulder and letting him lean his body against you while you lead him to the bathroom. That’s the biggest source of water in the house, and you assume he must be wanting a bath or shower or something. Even aliens have their hygiene needs, you guess.
You turn the bathroom light on and have Yuta sit on the toilet lid as you turn the bathtub faucet. “Is...this what you meant?” He nods, and you put the plug in and let the tub fill up.
“Just water. Nothing else. I need to recharge,” he says, and before you can ask what he means by that, he starts undressing in front of you.
At first, your reaction is delayed; you’re struck with surprise when you realize the armor isn’t actually a whole bodysuit, but more like...connected panels of material that can be taken off. You don’t understand the material at all, it doesn’t resemble anything on Earth you can think of—but of course, it’s alien tech. It conforms to his body as he’s wearing it but takes on a more rigid form once it’s peeled off, like actual armor.
Then, he gets ready to take the bottoms off and something finally clicks in your brain that oh my God he’s about to get naked in front of me.
“Whoa!” You spin around and cover your eyes for good measure, glad that your brown skin hides the way your face is burning right now. You step towards the open door. “Uh, I’ll just leave, sorry—”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“Um, what?”
“Doesn’t really matter to me,” Yuta says, pulling the last of his suit off. He steps into the tub and sits down in it, putting his hands underneath the stream of water rushing out of the faucet. The skin on his hands seems to ripple, like it’s readjusting itself, and the hairs stand up on the back of your neck at that. You forget to be embarrassed at his unclothed state as you watch it happen.
“What’s going on with that? And why did you need the water?”
Yuta splashes his face before answering, and he turns to look at you, the droplets of water sliding off the ends of his hair. “I’m part of a Water Race. Water is my home. Our bodies have adapted to be built for living in water, and it’s dangerous to be without it for too long.”
“Adaptation? But you look like a regular human.”
“It’s just a skin.”
“A skin?” You echo in horror, a sudden flashback to Silence of the Lambs popping into your mind. “Someone else’s skin?”
Yuta gives you a look that seems to say he can’t believe you’re asking such a stupid question. “No, it’s my skin. It’s just not my natural form.” To prove his point, he holds his hand out, and right before your eyes his human skin pulls back and morphs into something much more scaly and green. His fingers are actually more like talons, with long black nails on the ends, and there’s translucent webbing between each one.
You gasp and step back, trying to catch your breath at the sight of something so very not human. The skin reforms around his hand—you assume he has to be willing it with his mind somehow, because he doesn’t even move—and his digits look just as human as ever.
“How the hell do you hide your nails under there? Isn’t it just like...wearing a bodysuit?”
Yuta shakes his head. “No. Once the skin is on, it becomes...part of me. My hand becomes a human hand. I’m not hiding anything, it just is. It’s hard to explain.”
“Have you been to Earth before? Is that why you have a human skin, because...adaptation or some shit? This is all so wild.”
“I can shift into different skins if I want, if I gather enough genetic information on certain species’ inhabitants...but there are limitations.” That doesn’t exactly answer your question, but you figure maybe it’s best if you didn’t know. You can at least assume he’s been in contact with humans before.
“I see…” You fidget for a few seconds before speaking what’s on your mind. “Okay, one last thing...you said there are limitations. Does that mean you can’t transform into, like...a dung beetle or something?”
Yuta gives you another are you serious look and you put your hands up. “Just wondering. It was worth a try.”
You feel awkward just standing there, and you feel like maybe you should give him some privacy even if he doesn’t care much, so you leave the bathroom to find something for him to wear.
You’re not sure if you’ll find anything that fits him, so you end up settling on a light pink bathrobe and decide he’ll have to work with that for now. You slip back into the bathroom to leave it on the sink, averting your eyes from his nude form in your bathtub. “Um, here’s something to wear...not sure if anything else will fit, this is all I have for now. Sorry.” You don’t wait for him to respond— he probably won’t anyway—before slipping back out.
It’s nearing 1 A.M. at this point, which is late considering you still have work tomorrow. You sigh and curl yourself up on the couch, hoping you won’t have to stay up for very much longer.
You’re not sure when you drifted off or how long you were out, but you wake up to the sound of footsteps and see Yuta coming out of the bathroom wearing the robe you’ve given him. You have to laugh a little at the sight of him in the light pink material, though you think it suits him in a way.
“Yeah, you’re gonna need some clothes.”
Yuta raises his eyebrow. “I still have my suit.”
“Yeah, but...don’t you want something else to wear? Your ship is pretty much gone, so you’ll probably be on Earth for a while...and if you don’t want anyone realizing you’re not from here, you’ll have to wear regular clothes.”
Yuta visibly upsets at the idea of his ship’s destroyed state, even though he knows there’s not much he can do about it. “I guess. I shared which planet I was heading to before I left, but...Earth is a very big place. And my trackers were destroyed with my ship, so…”
“I’m sorry,” you say, though you don’t know how much comfort that can be. “We can look for some clothes tomorrow. It’s probably better for you not to leave the house right now, but...that’s what online shopping is for.”
“Online shopping…?” Yuta seems puzzled by the concept, but he doesn’t ask any further. Then he looks around the room again. “Is there somewhere I can rest?”
“Oh, yeah, follow me.” You get up from the couch to head upstairs where the guest bedroom is. The house isn’t huge—it was your grandmother’s before she passed it on to you—but it’s more than enough for you alone, and it should fit one more just fine. You open the door and turn on the light, illuminating the small room. “It hasn’t been used in a while, so excuse any dust. I can fix that tomorrow, but it’s getting late...” you stifle a yawn, “...so we should probably go to sleep now.”
Yuta looks at you and nods.
“Um, well...goodnight.” You wave at him from the doorway before closing it.
As you make your way down the stairs, a sudden weariness and apprehension comes over you. An alien in your home? Escaped from a recently crashed UFO? Wearing one of your bathrobes? You’re almost positive you haven’t thought this through deeply enough, but you’re in it now. Might as well see where the rabbit hole leads to.
The next morning, you prepare yourself to go to work like you usually do. For a while, the house is so quiet that you almost forget Yuta is there until you see him standing in the kitchen entryway, still wearing his pink robe, and you almost jump through the ceiling.
“Jesus, you came out of nowhere,” you gasp, holding your heart.
“Where are you going?” Yuta asks. He steps into the kitchen and tentatively sits down in one of the dining table chairs.
“To work,” you say, and then pause. Maybe it isn’t such a good idea to leave a freshly-landed alien at home alone. “Will you be okay here by yourself? I could come over on my lunch break…”
“What am I supposed to do here the whole time?” Yuta asks, sounding displeased at the thought of being abandoned for hours.
“Well...you could watch TV? There’s the on-demand channel...the fridge is available for you too, just try not to clean out my—wait, do you even eat human food?”
Yuta shrugs, crossing his arms. “Not really. It’s not a big source of nutrients for us.”
You nod awkwardly. “Huh. Well, that’s...interesting.” The stress of the situation is already making your head pound and you haven’t even left for work yet. “Uh, yeah—I think I’ll just come over later and check in...come on, I’ll at least show you how to work the remote before I leave.”
You bid Yuta goodbye once you’re about to go, though you feel more than a little hesitant about leaving him there. There isn’t much other choice, though; you can’t afford to take a day off on such short notice.
The extraterrestrial sighs, sprawling across the couch and looking at the ceiling. The TV is already playing the channel you left it on, and Yuta turns to the screen and watches as a group of humans make weird food dishes he’s never seen before.
“This is stupid.”
The rest of the week with Yuta manages to be an adventure even though he never steps foot outside the house.
Yuta doesn’t take a liking to human food, which means he opts for spending most of his time in the guest bathtub instead, claiming that the water gives him more nourishment than meals can. You don’t know how true that is, but you’re not going to fight him on it. Less food you have to prepare, you reason...although you often end up making extra anyway and getting him to try a few bites. It feels odd to not see him eat.
Living with someone from outer space is not really as weird as you expected it might be, which surprises you. Yuta stays in his human skin whenever he’s around you, and you steer clear of the guest bathroom when it’s occupied lest you walk in on something crazy.
You’ve taught Yuta about new concepts he didn’t know before or wasn’t overly familiar with. He’s particularly intrigued with online shopping, and you ended up buying him a bunch of outfits that you both thought he’d look nice in. He doesn’t seem to be big on technology, which surprises you considering how advanced his UFO looked even its ruined state, but maybe human tech is more primitive than what he’s used to. He’s quite fascinated with the microwave, though, and how it can heat anything up in minutes.
With you uncovering new bits of information each day, you continually wonder how different his homeworld must be from the Earth. You can’t pull much out of him about it, for whatever reasons he has for keeping the information close, but you try to let him talk about it at his pace without pressuring him.
You could probably get used to living like this.
Maybe not your wallet, though. You’re definitely not loving how your water bill is going to look once it comes in the mail.
None of your coworkers or neighbors know—not that it’s any of their business anyway. You don’t know how long Yuta is going to stay, or what the hell you’re going to do when his people finally catch wind of his whereabouts and land a UFO in your backyard, but you figure you’ll get to that part when it comes.
On one Saturday morning, you wake up to the sound of tapping on your door. You try to ignore it, thinking it’s just some woodpecker setting up shop outside your window, but you’re proven wrong when the door swings open.
You pull the covers away from your face for a moment to see Yuta standing there looking at you. You stare at him for a few seconds before sighing.
“Why are you up so early? It’s the weekend,” you groan, pulling the covers back over your head.
“Why do you sleep so late?” Yuta retorts, still standing in your doorway. You don’t know whether he expects you to get up and do a trick, but it’s not happening. You peel the blanket away so it’s just below your eyes and look at him.
“What?”
“It’s not fun being here alone all day, you know,” he says, crossing his arms.
“So...what? Do you want me to play with you or something?” You can’t stop your sudden laugh, but you feel bad about once it’s out. He has just lost his ride home and has no foreseeable way back until someone notices his absence. Plus, needing to stay hidden and cooped up like a criminal can’t be enjoyable.
Yuta rolls his eyes at your response and starts down the hallway again, but you jump out of the bed and follow him. “Wait, Yuta, I’m sorry. That was stupid. I know it can’t be easy living like this. I’m not sure if I can make it better, but I’m willing to try.”
Yuta pauses in the hall and turns back to look at you. “I’m tired of being in here all the time....no offense. But there’s only so much I can take. I know I’m supposed to be in hiding, but it’s not like anyone can tell the difference. Even you couldn’t. Can’t we go out for one day?”
You think about it for a moment and figure he’s right. You both were trying to be overly cautious at first, but there’s no real way anyone would notice anything unless he shifted. “I guess we could...as long as we don’t go anywhere with a lot of water.”
“I have more self-control than that,” Yuta scoffs, though his words trail off as he’s already heading back to his room to get dressed.
You and Yuta walk around downtown for a little while, although you can’t shake the lingering nervousness you feel. You both decided not to head back to the city center any time soon; there’s not much left of the broken ship anyway, with scientists carting off pieces of it for research. Just as you thought. It’s too big to transport all at once, but you’re sure the remaining parts will be gone within the next couple weeks.
Yuta is continually surprised by how many new and unfamiliar things he spots along the way—things he actually gets to see up close and in detail. Kinda hard to focus when you’re running and hiding for your life.
Eventually, Yuta slows down as you walk past a small and colorful restaurant. “What’s that?” he asks, pointing up at the sign. You stop to turn around and see what he’s gesturing to.
“That’s just a hamburger joint...you won’t wanna go in there,” you say, raising your eyebrows. Because you don’t eat food. Despite that, Yuta still seems curious about the restaurant and he hesitates to walk away. Realizing that you aren’t going to get anywhere, you go to stand next to him and peer inside. There are a few people already inside, sitting at scattered tables and eating their food. “Do you want to go in, or…? ‘Cause you have to eat something if we do. This is your idea.”
“I’ll eat, let’s just go,” Yuta says, grasping your hand and pulling you into the restaurant.
You wave at the person behind the counter who greets you as you walk in, while Yuta is busy scanning every inch of the place. You let him look over the menu for a little while, but with so many options available he isn’t sure what to get—especially when he’s not sure if he’ll like any of them—so you end up picking for the both of you.
When you finally get your food, you take it to one of the tables. You watch attentively as Yuta takes the first bite of his hamburger, and you try to stifle your giggles as you watch his face go from nonchalance to bewilderment to shock.
“This is actually...good.”
“Wait, this is really the first meal you’ve liked? Are you saying my cooking is bad? Damn.” You chuckle, shaking your head.
“I’m not answering that.” Yuta laughs along with you, which is probably the first genuinely happy expression he’s shown since he’s been here.
Yuta has a very pretty smile, you realize. You’re a little taken aback by it. You haven’t seen much of it since you met him, but it’s here now and striking in its genuine quality. It makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside...which you mainly attribute to the satisfaction of doing something nice for someone else. Of course. Who wouldn’t enjoy a nice meal they didn’t have to pay for?
Things go smoothly for a while as you both eat and pretend to make boring small talk since you can’t talk about him being an alien in public. However, you feel sweat on the back of your neck when you see your coworker Alex walk through the door with his boyfriend. This city is too small for its own good sometimes.
You try not to call attention to yourself and Yuta, keeping your gaze on your food, but he spots you anyway and waves enthusiastically. Alex gestures for his partner to go ahead and order while he comes over to your table.
“Hey, Y/N! It’s great to see you! Too bad we missed you at the UFO wreck today, though; we went out again one last time before they take the whole thing away,” he rushes out in one breath. Yuta’s eye twitches at the mention of his ship, and you’re suddenly on edge, hoping the situation doesn’t turn sour.
“Oh, uh, wow, that’s...cool!” you choke out, pinching your straw between your fingers. Before you can think of a way to divert the subject, Alex turns to Yuta.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Alex! Who’s this? Your boyfriend?” The last few words are directed at you. Alex gives you a playful grin, and you toss him an embarrassed smile back.
“Uh, no, he’s my friend! Yuta.”
“Nice to meet you,” Yuta says, though you can recognize his tone is a bit dry.
“Pleasure’s all mine!” Alex’s boyfriend calls him from the other side of the restaurant, and he turns to respond before taking his leave. “Ah well, looks like we’ll have to cut it short, but it was so great to see you guys. Enjoy your lunch!”
You let out the breath you were subconsciously holding once he leaves.
“Boyfriend…” Yuta murmurs.
“What?”
“That would be really weird. Wouldn’t it? We’re not even the same species,” he says, lowering his voice. It’s not like you don’t agree, but you admittedly don’t appreciate the way Yuta screws his face up at the thought. You prickle with embarrassment.
You scoff, taking a sip of your drink. “Well I’m not exactly eager to date an overgrown fish, so…” You almost expect Yuta to fall into another one of his moods at your words, but he actually chuckles a bit, which surprises you.
“Then it’s mutual!” Yuta sticks his tongue out and you roll your eyes.
The warm and fuzzy feeling, you soon find out, is not a one-time thing.
You don’t quite know what to make of that. You wouldn’t like for Yuta to go back to his initial broody state, of course, but you’re starting to believe this feeling can’t just be attributed to your charitable actions. You can’t stop thinking about the more playful side of Yuta you saw at the burger place that day, and the way he’s been gradually more open with you since then.
Yuta usually spends his nights splashing around in the guest bathtub, but one night he wanders into the living room and sees you putting your afro in plaits. He becomes weirdly fascinated with the process, watching you carefully and asking occasional questions. Amused by his interest, you answer all his questions and even offer to let him do one section.
“It’s probably not the same, but I used to braid my friend’s hair often…” he says wistfully as he settles in behind you. “We did a lot of things together.”
Your ears perk up. “Oh? You sound like you were very close,” you say, resting your chin on your knees.
“Really close,” he affirms. His hands are gentle in your hair, as testament to his words. You close your eyes and relax into the sensation, and before you know it, that warmth is spreading through your chest again. You even allow yourself to wonder what it’d be like for him to do this all the time, tending to your hair and telling you about his homeworld, before you open your eyes again and quickly pull yourself out of that reverie. You probably shouldn’t get too used to this, you reason with yourself. “I think she’s what you’d call a mermaid...except the look is a bit...different.”
“Different?” you echo, wondering if you’ll get an explanation.
“They don’t have human arms or anything like that...it’s more like tentacles.”
“Ah,” you try to imagine that, though it’s hard. “That’s certainly unique.”
“Maybe you’d like it...my planet, I mean.”
“You think I would? Why?”
“I dunno, just a feeling…”
“If only I could breathe underwater,” you laugh. “You’d take me back, though? Hypothetically, of course. I’m not too human for you?”
“Will you ever let that one go? It’s probably the least I could do after setting up residence here. Maybe we’ll get you an alien costume, though, so you’ll fit in.”
“How nice of you to think of me in all my humanness. God, the universe is something else…”
You start when Yuta’s hands leave your hair. “I think I’m done?” he says, sitting back on his feet. You grab the mirror from the coffee table and look at the braid you let him do.
“Oh wow, it looks good.” You purse your lips to hide the grin about to break across your face. “Do you wanna do the rest?”
“If you’ll let me.”
“Go ahead then, my hands needed a break anyway.”
You sit back and let Yuta finish the rest of your hair, listening quietly as he tells you more about his friend from his homeworld. Her name is unpronounceable to you, but it sounds pretty all the same. They grew up together, he says, and have been on lots of adventures over the years, though he still keeps that same vagueness he always has when describing his life. He ends up getting you to tell him more about your life, which you do; you figure he probably doesn’t know a whole lot about you, either.
Yuta hands you the mirror when he’s done, and his head pops up next to yours in the reflection. “Good?”
“It’s great!” you say, and you really mean it.
You discover that, strangely enough, Yuta has an affinity for sci-fi movies. Go figure. He especially seems to like the campiness of alien films; then again, everything is campy to him because of how different it is from how extraterrestrials actually live.
You are in the middle of watching The Fly when it comes to one of sex scenes, and you try not to sweat. It’s always a little awkward to watch sex scenes with other people, but doing it with an alien gives the whole thing an extra layer of weirdness.
“Human sex is so funny,” Yuta says out of nowhere. You just barely avoid choking on your drink.
“Uh, o-okay. Do I want to know what that means?”
Yuta only shrugs and leans farther back onto the couch, looking completely unbothered about what he’s just said. “It just is.”
“...I’m sure your people must procreate some kinda way?”
“Yeah, but it’s not quite this. But when I’m in this form, I can do it as humans do.”
That makes you pause, and you’re not sure what to do with that information. Actually, your mind has already decided for itself and is trying to go to a place you don’t want it to, and you’re mildly horrified by that revelation. There’s no real reason why you should be curious about it. And yet...
“Hummm...have you done it before? In this form?” You keep your eyes glued to the screen, which is now showing a shirtless Jeff Goldblum doing acrobatics—but that’s still less awkward than looking over at Yuta right now.
“There was one time.”
There is a twinge of something in your chest. Fascination? Sure. Revulsion? Maybe not that. Dare you call it anything close to jealousy? You immediately throw that one out the door, sink further into your seat, and try not to think about what your life has come to.
“Okay, since you still won’t tell me directly if you’ve been here before, at least tell me this; did it happen here on Earth? With a human?”
Yuta shakes his head. “Some other aliens have weird fetishes. I only did it because she asked and was really adamant about it.”
“Ooookay, you know what…” You get up from the couch and walk to the kitchen, laughing awkwardly all the way. You don’t have any particular reason to go in there, but you have to do something with the nervous energy that’s about to make you jump out of your skin. You pretend to shuffle around in the fridge for a minute so you don’t look too silly getting up for no reason.
After taking a moment to calm down, you turn back to Yuta. “Okay. Hypothetically, if you wanted, could you actually…? With a human? In your natural form? Or would the parts be incompatible, or...”
“Maybe...I’m not sure. It’s not like I’ve ever tried. Why?” Yuta gives you a look that’s partway between curiosity and incredulity, and you wave your hand in dismissal.
“It’s just a question.”
Yuta leans forward on the couch, barely concealing his own amusement at whatever he’s cooking up in his mind. “Are you saying you want to try it with me?”
“You’re not funny,” you sigh, trying to ignore the way your skin is burning at that suggestion. “Remind me not to ask you anything like that again.”
When you get home from work one weeknight, you roll your eyes at the mass text sitting in your inbox, forwarded to you from Alex. Another after-work party, which means another event where someone will run through the sprinklers naked and everyone will pretend like they don’t remember it the next workday.
You don’t know how you’re going to get out of this one, especially with Yuta, who will likely want to go if he finds out, so you decide to just come out and say it and see what happens.
“Hey Yuta…” You slide up behind him where he’s sitting on the couch. “I just wanted to let you know I won’t be at home for a few hours on Saturday. I’m going to a party this weekend. It’s a friend’s party, someone from work.”
Yuta looks at you forlornly. “The same person we met at the restaurant?”
“No, but he’s gonna be there too. Look, I know what you’re thinking, but I really don’t know if it’s safe for you to go…”
“That’s not fair, the last time at the restaurant went well,” Yuta argues.
“Yes, but this guy has a pool and he’s a dickhead who likes to push people in and what if you get caught off guard and change unexpectedly?”
Yuta’s response is as straightforward as you expected it to be. “Then I’ll punch him in the face.”
You laugh at that and shake your head, coming to sit beside him on the couch. “Ugh. As satisfying as that sounds, I don’t need the extra stress of dealing with the aftermath. I don’t know, Yuta...do you think you’ll be okay? God, I feel like an overprotective mom or some shit.”
“Y/N, it’ll be fine, stop worrying. I can take care of myself,” Yuta insists, putting his hand on your shoulder and looking into your eyes. He’s a little closer than you anticipated, which makes your heart rate increase a little. You chalk that reaction up to his invasion of your personal space and shift away, groaning.
“Fine, I’ll bring you. But if shit goes down, I can’t promise an easy way out. Let’s just keep things lowkey, alright?”
“Of course I can do that! I’ve been doing it so far haven’t I?” he says, but somehow you’re not entirely convinced.
The party is filled with people you know from work and a slew of unfamiliar faces, probably your coworkers’ friends. It’s mostly a backyard party, like you already knew, although there are some people mingling within the house.
There are already a few people lounging in the pool. In any other scenario, it might be inviting to you, but now you just look at all that water with a looming sense of anxiety. Yuta sticks close to your side, saying nothing but studying everyone around him.
“Y/N!” your coworker David shouts from the backdoor of his house. He holds up his beer in salutation and you wave back at him, mildly annoyed that he’s brought everyone’s attention to you both. He hustles over to you and claps you on the back strong enough to make your bones rattle, and you wince. “Hey dude!” He reaches across you to pull Yuta into a handshake, and Yuta also winces when he grips his hand a little too tight. “Make yourselves at home, I’ve got everything you could ever need—including the booze and babes!” You both nod awkwardly before David goes off to greet someone else who’s just pulled up. You roll your eyes once he’s gone.
Yuta’s eyebrows draw together. “That was…”
“Annoying,” you finish for him.
“You don’t seem to like him. Why did you decide to come?”
“Workplace politics, if you’re the only one who doesn’t come it’s awkward, ugh. It’s just bullshit. Let’s not get into it.” You walk towards the house and Yuta follows, and you nod at a few people you know along the way.
You find Alex in the kitchen, where he offers to make drinks for you and Yuta. You cast a glance at Yuta, wondering if he’ll take up the offer; you have no idea how he’ll react to alcohol, or if they drink any equivalent of it on his homeworld.
“Um, I think I’ll pass.”
“Oh okay, straight-edge guy! That’s cool too,” Alex grins, making just the one drink for you. As you and Alex talk, the girl from your department whose neighborhood was about to be evacuated sidles up to your little group.
“I’ve never seen you before. What’s your name?”
“Oh...it’s Yuta.”
“Yuta? How cool, I’m Sooyoung.”
Little did you know that that one introduction would expand into them having a half-hour long conversation right there in the kitchen. You really don’t know how Yuta is pulling this off without spilling the beans, but then again, you do; he’s good enough at manipulating the conversation to make it seem like he’s sharing personal info when he’s really not. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that he throws in things you taught him every so often.
Alex notices your changing demeanor and follows you as you walk into the living room, finally exhausted with playing third wheel. “Hm, someone seems a little spicy.”
You cough. “I’m fine, it’s just cramped in there, David should really invest in a bigger house..this place could use a remodel.” You throw a glance around the living room, not wanting to see the mischievous look in Alex’s eyes.
“Well, remodel aside, it’s not really my business, but you certainly seem to have a little green monster brewing here.”
You give Alex a long look. “Don’t. He’s my friend. He’s not even—” You have to stop yourself before you expose anything, and you shift nervously on your feet.
“Not even what? Your type? I don’t know, he’s handsome enough to me. You can’t go wrong with a pretty boy. Don’t tell Xavier I said that, though.”
“Lord, let me get the hell out of here…” You leave Alex to cackle to himself while you go out into the backyard again, holding your drink and mulling around the edges of the activity. Too busy wrestling with your own emotions, you don’t realize how close you’ve drifted towards the pool.
“Hey, Y/N?” David says from behind you.
“Yeah?” You go to turn towards him, but before you can, you feel a huge shove from behind and the next thing you know your feet are off the ground and you’re in the pool. It all happens so fast that you can barely catch your bearings, and for a terrifying moment you’re convinced you’re about to drown.
The seconds feel like minutes, and you can’t even open your eyes to tell up from down. The next thing you register is an arm around your waist, and somehow you’re being pulled up even though you’re too panicked to even control your limbs. Your head pops above the water and you cough and sputter loudly, trying to take in air. You try to blink the water out of your eyes, though it drips off your hair and makes it even harder to see.
You’re still not sure what the hell is going on until you’re hauled out of the water and sitting on the ground. Someone hands you a towel, and you hear a female voice saying you’re such an asshole, David.
You wipe the water off of your face and then you’re finally able to see; Yuta is crouching in front of you, just as soaked as you are and staring at you with a worried expression. You look back at him, disoriented and a little dumbfounded at his still-human state.
“You didn’t…”
Even though you’re still trembling with the fear of almost drowning, you’re unable to look anywhere but at Yuta for that moment—at the pure concern on his face.
“Nice going, David,” someone else says sarcastically.
“It was just a bit of a prank! No hard feelings guys, come on. Y/N?” You realize David is standing on your left, and he tries to come closer, his hands open in an apologetic gesture. You jerk away from him, holding the towel to your shaking form.
“Get the fuck away from me. You’re a fucking idiot!” you shout. “All you do is ‘play pranks’ and then you wonder why no one likes you!” That draws a few barely concealed laughs out of the people standing nearby, though you don’t think any of it is funny. David steps back, unsure how to respond and looking truly embarrassed for once in his life.
Filled with anger, you try to get to your feet but you’re still unsteady. Yuta puts his arm around you again, lifting you up and encouraging you to lean your weight on him.
“It’s okay, I’ve got you.”
You don’t have much to say on the way back home. You insist on leaving right away even though Yuta suggests you sit and wait until the tremors subside. He obviously can’t drive you back home, so it’s all he can offer, though it doesn’t make you feel much better.
The silence itself isn’t particularly awkward to Yuta, but he is uncomfortable anyway because he knows it stems from your own discomfort. At a red light, he turns to you.
“Are you okay?”
“Not really.”
He’s quiet for a few moments, and then he speaks again. “I know you’re mad about the pool, but...it seems like there’s more than that. Did...you not like me spending so much time with Sooyoung?”
You scoff. “You can’t be serious. I don’t care what you and that girl do.”
“You’re not a very good liar.” You’re too worn out to argue, so you merely give him a sidelong glance. Yuta sits back in his seat and watches a few cars zip past, their tail lights looking like clashing stars against the night. He’s not used to so much...manmade stuff. There was his ship and his trackers, of course, but he still has a hard time adjusting to be surrounded by so much iron and steel. His own planet is ruled by nature, by the vast oceans in all their unpolluted original essence, but Earth—or at least this portion of it—is much, much different.
He means to glance back at you, but his eyes linger for a while longer than intended. He’s not sure why. Maybe it’s because your outfit is a pretty color, or because the coils of your hair look shiny reflecting the light. He’s never put much thought into human beings before, and his limited experiences with them were mostly better left unremembered. Taking a human form was no huge deal for him; just a move that was necessary at the time.
But now, he’s seeing humanity—and most specifically, you—in a different light, and he’s uncertain what to do with this realization. People have feelings, thoughts, and dreams, like his own species, or like any other. He’s beginning to care what you think of him, how you react to him, even though he doesn’t know why this matters.
“You look pretty,” Yuta says. The compliment is the last thing you expected from him. It seems especially random after what happened at the party; here you are, soaking wet and incredibly uncomfortable. You’re a little late to put your foot on the gas pedal once the light turns green, and someone behind you honks.
“Pretty? I thought humans were weird to you.” Your mind goes back to The Fly and the subsequent conversation you had, and your hands tighten minutely around the steering wheel.
“You are. That hasn’t changed.”
“Good to know.” You don’t want to laugh, but this does make you crack a smile. “But...thanks. And...thanks for that, at the pool, you know. I should...probably trust you more.”
The rest of the ride is a little more talkative after that, and Yuta is happy that he could lighten your mood if even a little bit. Although he wouldn’t tell you, he’s becoming accustomed to your smile, and he’s more displeased than he thought he could be when it’s absent.
The thunder booms so loudly that it makes your window frames shake. It almost reminds you of the day Yuta’s ship fell out of the sky. You pull the covers tighter around yourself as if they alone could protect you from the storm’s fierceness. Storm clouds have been brewing all day, but the skies didn’t open until you and Yuta went to bed. Now, the rain and lightning is in full force. The rain pounds against your window, sounding more like hail or even bullets.
You’re startled for a second time when there’s a knock on your bedroom door.
“Come in?”
The door opens slightly and Yuta appears in the small sliver of space. “Sorry, but...can I sleep here? The storm...” He gestures to the window, where a crack of lightning strikes right after. He’s wearing a sleep shirt and loose pants, and his blonde hair is disheveled.
“Uh, sure.” You shuffle over to make room for him. “I guess this isn’t your type of water, is it?” He huddles underneath the covers with you, facing you with his arm tucked under the unoccupied pillow.
“Not when it’s so intense like this.”
You hum in acknowledgment. “It’s scary. Does rainy weather make you think of your homeworld often?”
“Often,” he repeats. “But...I think I’d be worse off if I weren’t here.”
“Here...on Earth?”
“I mean, here with you.”
“Oh,” is all you can think to say. It’s a surprisingly personal confession, though you are grateful you’ve become someone so important in his life already, even if it’s only because you’ve given him shelter. That familiar warmth spreads through you again.
Warm and fuzzies = gratefulness to a friend, the feeling you get when you pet a cute puppy. Right. It’s not the sensation you get when you think you might have feelings for your extraterrestrial friend, you try to convince yourself. “I’m...glad you’re here. Maybe not under these circumstances, but still.”
Yuta nods without speaking, but he doesn’t take his eyes away from you. You think he must be waiting on you to say something else.
“What?” you ask quietly when he keeps staring at you. “Take a picture, it will last longer.” Your joke does little to clear the air, and the tension keeps rising. You should probably be the first one to look away, to end whatever weird game this is and go to sleep, but you can’t. It’s unexplainable.
Yuta props himself up on his elbow, and you’re about to ask him where he’s going when he slips his hand onto your bare shoulder. You’re already covered by the blankets, but you suddenly feel even hotter with his hand on you, sliding up from your shoulder to the side of your face. “Y-Yuta…?”
You don’t know what to say or do, but you don’t object when he leans closer. Your faces are only inches apart now, like he’s hesitating and wondering if he should cross the line. The thunderstorm is intense, but this moment feels much more suspenseful than that could ever be. And then, it’s suddenly satisfying when his lips are on yours.
The kiss starts gentle. He’s careful as if he’s afraid to hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable. It’s soft and sweet. Things get more heated when his tongue prods against your lower lip and enters your mouth. You don’t know when his hand made it from your face to your side, but he pulls you close with his fingers pressing into the flesh just below your breasts, and you tremble at the proximity.
When you pull away, both of you are breathing harder and unable to look each other in the eye.
“Should we be doing this?” you whisper.
Yuta shakes his head. “I don’t know. But it feels good.”
At those words, you pause for a moment before moving to kiss him again. His lips respond deftly to yours, his body crowding you in and making you feel hot and enraptured with desire from where you still lie under the covers.
His hair is very soft when you slide your hands through it, though you can’t push away the thought that suddenly manifests in the back of your mind. This isn’t really his hair, or his lips, is it? It’s all a mask to cover whatever is underneath, which is something you still don’t entirely know, yet are increasingly curious about.
Yuta’s hand drifts up just high enough to caress the underside of your breast—all still over the cover of your clothes. Abruptly, that thought forces its way to the front of your mind, making itself unavoidable, and you have no idea how to reconcile it. This is all so...very unfamiliar. And undeniably scary.
You pull away from him, your face creased with conflict, and his hand stills on your body. “S-sorry, I…um...this is...”
Subsequently, he pulls his hand away from you, though some part of you doesn’t really want that to happen. “I-it’s fine.”
You both settle back into the sheets, the tense aura from before replaced with one that’s thick with unease. The storm continues on outside, unknowing and uncaring of anything else but its own nature.
Though you would like to pretend it isn’t so, things become strained after the night of the storm.
You and Yuta don’t talk about the kiss. You expected him to say something about it that morning after, but he didn’t acknowledge it, and so you figured you just forget about it, too. What are you thinking, anyway? You’re literally from two different worlds. You don’t have the first clue about what a connection would look like between you, whether it be just sex or a relationship.
Why couldn’t you just fall for a coworker and have a bit of office drama like everyone else? Even that would be simpler.
Why did you have to let your thoughts get the best of you? You don’t have any answer for that, except for maybe your own need to come to terms with your attraction. People have never been very skilled at accepting others different from themselves, you know that much. But that usually counts for people of different ethnicities or cultural backgrounds, not two entirely different species.
You spend the whole week afterwards tearing your mind up with this monologue and trying to figure out what you should do next, because you’re quickly growing weary of coming home to a tense atmosphere. Alex can only give so much advice—not that you’d really tell him the entire situation—without knowing just how complicated everything is.
Where he used to hang out with you and help you with your hair, Yuta spends more time up in the guest bathroom again. You wonder if he thinks you’re disgusted by him. You’d probably think the same if he reacted the way you did.
Unbeknownst to you, Yuta is facing the situation with a similar amount of inner turmoil as you, wondering if he’s gone too far. He’s done many silly things in his life, but he doesn’t know how to undo this mistake. The mistake of kissing you? The mistake of seeing you as more than just another human? The mistake of knowingly flying in a faulty ship? Maybe all of it.
He feels guilty about freezing you out and pretending as if nothing happened, especially with all you’ve done to make him safe and comfortable in your home. But, at the same time, he is equally frightened to face you and discover the real reasoning for why you pulled away that night. Because you’ll never see him as someone you could like? Or maybe even love?
If that’s your truth, he’d rather leave it unsaid.
There aren’t many choices left but to face it. Whether this idea is smart or not is yet to be seen, but you suppose you don’t have many solutions left. And you are sick of being cooped up in the house.
“You sure this is safe?” Yuta asks as he stares at the scenery whizzing past. “You were all freaked out about me being near water before...now you want to go to a lake?”
You glance over at him. “Yes, it’s my parents’ lake property. It’s private, Yuta. No one will be there but us. I think we could both use a mini vacation this weekend, yeah?”
“I guess, sure.” Yuta shrugs. His demeanor is more closed off than it was before that dreaded kiss, but you can still tell that he’s interested in the idea of getting access to a bigger body of water, even if he doesn’t outwardly express it.
The lake house is two hours out of your city. It hasn’t been used much in the past few years with both you and your parents being busy with work and life, but if there was ever a good time to use it, it’s probably now. You just hope there aren’t any squatters of the furry variety; the last thing you need is to be fighting raccoons or squirrels after stepping through the door.
Luckily, there’s really no one but you two once you reach your destination. The lake is big and pretty like you last remembered it, sparkling under the sun and throwing the rays back in your eyes. Yuta is automatically captivated by it.
“Here it is!” you say, walking along the sand and spreading your arms out towards the body of water. “It might not be much compared to your homeworld, but I hope it’s enough.” You carry your bag up the stairs to the house and turn back to Yuta, who’s still standing by the shore gazing across the water. “You can go in, you know? Get comfortable!”
That seems to snap him out of his trance, and he turns back to you, following you up the steps. “Not right now...I’ll go later.” You’re a little disappointed at that, but you simply nod and open the door to go in.
You spend the day getting increasingly more restless as you and Yuta hang out together. You go on the pier, walk around the entirety of the lake, and even take your dad’s boat out on the water, but he still doesn’t get in.
You eat dinner together later that night, although you’re the one doing most of the eating, and there isn’t much conversation to be had. You’ve both run out of things to say that don’t center around the kiss or why he refuses to get in the water.
Yuta spends a few more moments watching you push your food around your plate before leaning forward. “Why did you bring me here?” he asks.
You sigh heavily. “Do you not like it?”
“No, I do, but…” he hesitates. “Can you answer my question first?
You raise your eyebrows. “Okay, well. I brought you here because...I don’t know. I figure you deserve to have somewhere bigger to swim around in than my guest bathtub.” You laugh nervously.
He seems unconvinced. “Is that it?”
“I’d say so! Why won’t you even take one swim, is the better question? I want you to relax and be yourself.”
He furrows his eyebrows as if he doesn’t know how to reply. “You...aren’t you...repulsed by it? I just figured you wouldn’t want to see me in my natural form. Especially since…” He trails off at the end, and your palms sweat a little.
“No! I know I was weirded out at first, but...I-I guess that was the point of this whole trip, to show you that…” You grapple with your words for a moment, unsure if now is the time to fully confess what you’re feeling. “Look, I want to try, alright? I want to see it at least once. I want to accept you as a whole being, and that means, you know...all of you.”
Yuta smiles gradually at that, and you feel swept up with a sudden wave of affection you weren’t expecting. You are still a bit scared, but you don’t want to turn back now. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” you reply, clasping your shaking hands together.
Yuta nods and stands up from the dining table, gesturing for you to follow him. It’s late now, with the moon shining brightly and the last vestiges of dark blue sky giving way to black. The air outside is cool, but not uncomfortably so. You follow Yuta to the pier and watch timidly, your stomach flip-flopping, as he sheds his clothes, leaving them on the wooden deck. Then he slips into the water, disappearing underneath its still surface.
You crouch down, looking intently at the rippling water and anticipating whoever is going to resurface. The sounds of croaking frogs and crickets press in from every side, ringing in your ears so loudly that it’s hard to think straight.
You gasp when Yuta lifts from the water, his human skin gone and completely transformed into something that’s more...amphibian, if that’s any accurate way to describe his appearance. His skin is still scaly and green like you saw that first day, but in the moonlight it seems to glitter and reflect a spectrum of colors like his armor did. There are two fins on the either side of his face, translucent and shining a pale green. They slowly move back and forth as he treads on the water, as if they’re conveying an emotion to match whatever he’s thinking, and you watch them in fascination.
Yuta floats on his back in the water, the long gills on either of his sides catching the moonlight. You watch in fascination as they move with his breaths. Using the pier post to keep yourself stable, you reach out to touch them. They’re slick under your fingers, but not in a slimy or gross way. Your hand drifts to the rest of his skin, across his torso and along his sides, and every portion has a strikingly smooth texture. His alien eyes stare at you silently as you do, glittering big in the moonlight.
“What do you think?” his voice is quieter than you expected, as if he’s afraid of your reaction. He doesn’t break his gaze, though, studying your face carefully.
“You’re...amazing,” you say breathlessly. “Incredible.”
His lips, which are green like the rest of him, form a small smile, and then he dives underneath the water. He does a few laps as if he means to impress you, his lithe marine form sparkling just below the surface of the water. You keep your hand suspended over the pier as you watch him, your fingers sliding against his body every time he passes by. You smile at his display, a laugh coming out of you at his impromptu performance.
When he’s finished, Yuta climbs up onto the pier with you and kneels in front of you, much like he did that day he saved you from David’s swimming pool. His feet are webbed like his hands. Droplets of water slide off of them onto the wooden boardwalk while others linger on the clear webbing like tiny jewels. Your hand is magnetized to his face, drawing across the scaly skin and tracing over his lips, which are just as smooth as the rest of him.
Before you can think twice about it, you lean forward and capture his lips with yours. Did you expect it to be fishy? Maybe. But it’s not that at all. He still manages to taste distinctly like Yuta, even though you’re not sure what that taste is. It’s a flavor that makes you feel...held. Yuta is surprised for a moment, but he responds to your kiss, one of his webbed hands inching close to your face. He doesn’t touch you at first, a little reluctant and yet wanting to let you lead the pace so he doesn’t scare you off.
You welcome his touch, carefully brushing your fingertips across his hand and bringing it to make contact with your skin. His own skin is still a bit cold from the water’s temperature, but it doesn’t bother you much.
The kiss soon grows more intense, and a mounting desire makes itself known in you. You won’t pretend like you’re 100% confident about all of this, but you don’t want to shun it anymore, either.
Yuta’s hand drifts to your neck, his long nails pressing into your skin ever so slightly. You dare to explore his body more, sliding your hands across his chest and over his side gills, feeling the way they contract under your hands, and farther down still. You haven’t looked down there yet, and you’re nervous over what you’ll find. But you keep going until your fingers meet something slick and hot and throbbing, seeming vaguely like a regular penis, though you quickly realize it’s more of a tentacle.
Yuta shudders and draws away from the kiss, and you feel alarmed, wondering if you’ve gone too far without thinking.
“If we’re going to do this, I should...probably shift back—”
“Don’t,” you blurt out. Yuta looks at you questioningly. “I...you should if it makes you comfortable. But...I don’t mind.” He’s quiet for a few seconds—seconds that feel much longer than they really are. You’re apprehensive of what he’ll say, but you keep your eyes on his face.
“Okay,” he agrees. “If you’ll accept me like this...okay.”
Neither of you bother with moving to somewhere more comfortable like the lake house or even the sandy shore. Instead, Yuta peels your clothes away right there on the pier, covering every new bit of flesh with his strange and lovely mouth, his head fins ghosting across your collarbones and breasts like moths’ wings.
You tremble and grow wetter under his soft caresses, which are much gentler than you’d initially expect with his sharp black nails. His hands leave streaks of water across your body, which cools your burning hot skin.
Yuta carefully maneuvers your lower body at the same time as he bends his graceful head, bringing your sex close to his mouth and licking deeply into you. Your back presses hard against the pier, the wood scratching your skin as you cry out into the night air.
“Oh God, Yuta!” You soon realize that his tongue is much longer than any human one, and it reaches to a spot deep inside of you that makes you twist around in his grasp, your fingernails scrambling for purchase on the surface below you. He uses his tongue to pleasure that spot continuously, drawing moans and ever more wetness out of you as if he were controlling the waves in the ocean.
You find yourself coming apart on his extraordinarily long tongue, your legs shaking and then going limp with the pleasure flooding through your body. Your breaths come fast and hard. Yuta lifts his head from between your legs and pulls you carefully into his lap so his slick tentacle is pressing against you. It’s not hard like a dick would be, though it is clearly responsive to your body, and you momentarily wonder if it can even go inside you.
“Is this gonna work?” you ask, a tremor in your voice.
“It will work,” Yuta replies, and you’re not sure how, but you decide to trust him on it.
It does, to your surprise. With your legs crossed tightly over his lower back, Yuta presses into you, wet and warm and very unexpectedly soft. It doesn’t feel like anything you’ve ever experienced before. It’s not a bad sensation, though—far from it. His tentacle is similar to his tongue in how it flexes and throbs inside you, pressing tight against that spot again and making you shiver in his arms.
You both quickly find a rhythm that works, your bodies moving together in an otherworldly combination of two beings, two species, two souls.
Yuta’s long nails scrape gently against your skin as he holds your back, guiding you on his sex and pushing his hips up into you. You sigh into the juncture of his neck and shoulder, feeling the cool scales underneath your lips. You seek a firm grip on his slick skin, bringing your body as close to his as possible.
“Yuta…” You moan his name. His hand slides to the back of your neck so he can bring your face to his again, kissing you deeply. There’s a wet squelching sound as your bodies connect, Yuta’s tentacle slipping in and out of you and pleasurably stroking your walls.
“Y/N…” Yuta whispers into your soft hair, pushing into your spot repeatedly, his thighs tensing under you as his pace increases. You grip his arms as you feel your orgasm swelling up in your abdomen. You tip your head back and Yuta’s mouth goes to your neck and farther down, his heavy breaths warming your skin and making you overheat from the inside out.
You tighten and cum around him, your voice stuttering out of you in broken gasps as he keeps thrusting into you, drawing your climax out. He pulses inside of you, which sends little shockwaves up your spine; you know he’s probably close, too.
When Yuta comes, there’s a lot more of it than you expected. His cum overflows and drips out of you with a consistency like syrup and a transparent color like precum. It makes the inside of your thighs sticky and shiny.
Yuta pulls out, and more of his cum spills out of you, leaking onto his lap and staining the pier underneath you.
“That’s not gonna get me pregnant, is it?” you say quietly, half-jokingly.
“Probably not,” Yuta chuckles.
“Probably!?”
Yuta carefully gathers you in his arms and stands to his feet, walking you off the pier and back towards the lake house. Your clothes are still on the pier, but you’re quickly getting sleepy and aren’t very worried about it; you’ll get them in the morning.
“What happens now?” Yuta murmurs as he walks up the front steps. You already know he’s referring not just to your relationship in this present moment, but to every event that will make up your future. Does he need to continue hiding, or is it really safe? How long will this last?
You close your eyes, resting your head against his chest. “We stay together.”
Yuta’s arms tighten around you as a silent affirmation of your words.
#yuta smut#yuta scenarios#nct 127 scenarios#nct 127 imagines#nct 127 fic#nct 127 smut#nct smut#nct fic#nct scenarios#nct imagines#yuta#yuta imagines#yuta fic#ambw#ambw fic#ambw smut#ambw kpop#ambw scenarios#ambw imagines#nakamota yuta#nct ambw
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tagged by @leonzhng thanks for making me dig through my most embarrassing crushes 😭✋
i’ll tag @highwarlockkareena @yibobibo @lan-xichens @purplexedhuman @aheartfullofjolllly @lanzhansmiles @nyx4 i feel like i tag you guys in everything i am so sorry please ignore this if u don’t wanna do it !!
putting this under a read more for reasons
MEN 2010 – 2016
literally nothing more embarrassing than falling on the same type of white man over and over again (with the exception of minho from shinee bless his heart)
tommy joe ratliff → he was the bass player for adam lambert during his glamnation era (think of songs like for your entertainment and if i had you) idk why exactly i liked him so much but i just did.... however i searched him up again quite recently and found out he’s one of those republicans that says the dumbest shit on twitter so Big Yikes
harry styles → “baby you light up my world like nobody else, the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed, and when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell...” and BOOM 13-year-old me was sold for well over two years
louis tomlinson → basically i liked harry most until around 2013 when for some reason i started to like him a little less, and i got more focused on louis tomlinson, and although i didn’t like one direction anymore louis tomlinson always had a special place in my heart
ashton irwin → so ashton is 5sos’ drummer, i discovered 5sos through one direction & i stanned them until late 2014
harries twins → the harries twins (jack & finn) are basically the reason i started spending a lot of time on youtube, they were funny and pretty and they just had good videos in general, so for almost two years i’d watch their content regularly
choi minho → my first steps into kpop happened bc i was watching videos on youtube (most probably the harries twins) and suddenly i saw the sherlock mv in my recommended videos so i clicked on it and then 14-year-old me proceeded to fall for minho like an idiot
brooks twins → still youtubers, the brooks twins were 3/5 of the janoskians (jai & luke brooks, beau brooks, daniel sahyounie, & james yammouni), an australian youtube comedy group that was active from 2011-2018 though i was only around from 2012-2014 (when jai brooks was dating ariana grande)
jc caylen → surprise! another youtuber! jc caylen was part of o2l (our2ndlife) a youtube collaboration channel on which each of the 6 members posted videos on a certain day in the week (mondays with connor, tuesdays with ricky, wednesdays with sam, thursdays with jc, fridays with trevi (my 2nd favorite member bc she participated on the x factor), saturdays with ricardo, and then they had surprise sundays every week) and i remember how much joy jc & the others always brought me with their silly videos
misha collins → up next, you might know him as the gay angel that was sent to superhell after confessing his love to the homophobic hunter on supernatural, it’s misha collins! basically misha was a huge source of comfort for me, and i even went around calling myself emmisha for almost two full years (cringe)
henrik holm → he played even bech naesheim in skam and my crush on him reached that level of ridiculousness where i actually tried my hand at learning norwegian (i can only remember how to introduce myself and some curse words i would make a great first impression on him)
MEN 2016 – 2021
min yoongi → okay so my baby steps into kpop happened through shinee’s sherlock, but i only got really invested when yoongi dropped agust d 1 because Holy Fuck y’know??
kim namjoon → oh man i remember thinking namjoon was cute and a very good leader and then BAM he dressed like THAT at the 2016 mma’s and i fell in love. hard
park seojoon → i started liking park seojoon whilst i was watching hwarang (you guessed it, i watched it bc of taehyung), although he wasn’t my favorite character by far, but he was very silly off camera & i liked that (i’m not that into him anymore tho </3)
kim seokjin → OH BOY LET ME TELL U i liked seokjin from the very beginning (i got to know bts in late 2014) and i always liked seeing him perform and be himself and god once i realized i had a crush on him it just hit me like a mf truck, and he’s still one of my favorite people to this day
jung hoseok → god fake love era hoseok really hits different.... also yes i know i have all of bts’ hyung line on my list BUT bts was a really big part of my life for almost 6 years soooo honestly they deserve it i still think they’re great guys
choi san → when ateez made their debut in 2018 i immediately fell in love with san, he was such an amazing dancer and he captivated me right from the very beginning, to this day he’s still my bias in ateez uwu
xiao zhan → AND THEN, OCTOBER OF 2019 HAPPENS AND I WATCH CQL AND... i fall in love with xiao zhan, something i’d never expected would happen bc when i watched cql for the first time i wasn’t as invested in the story, but i really really really liked xiao zhan and one thing led to another and now here i am as a xfx
wang yibo → the thing is, i’ve known yibo since eoeo except i didn’t know cql yibo was uniq yibo (bc i’d forgotten his name) and when i looked it up i can tell you my jaw dropped to the floor bc holy shit????? also he is very silly and i love him loads ok
lee minho → ah, the man who has been my skz bias since 2018, not only is minho my bias i also kin him (there’s a lot of aspects of myself that i see in minho and vice versa) and he’s very comforting to me
bang chan → honestly, it was only a matter of time before i’d fall for bang chan, i knew the moment i got into skz again that i’d start biasing him and, well, here i am, double biasing chan & minho
WOMEN
this list is shorter bc i’ve in general always had less crushes on women than on men??? blame society forcing me into thinking i was straight for a LONG time
ariana grande → remember the 2011 layout of twitter?? where u could not only have an icon and a header, but also a background and ur twitter page was smack in the center of ur screen with the big ugly menu bar at the top??? yeah ariana grande was always my background for my l*rr* st*l*n*s*n layouts
perrie edwards → this was right around the time she was dating zayn & little mix was breaking out into the spotlight, yeah i just really loved her
andrea russett → okay so remember o2l?? andrea russett was kian’s girlfriend for a pretty long time and they always did videos together and i always thought she was super pretty
lily collins → maybe i don’t like clary in tmi all that much but i sure liked the way lily collins looked
alona tal → MY BISEXUAL AWAKENING, it’s only when i saw alona tal in spn that i realized, fuck i might be gay
park jihyo → i discovered twice (my 2nd jype group after day6) through the like ooh-ahh mv and red-haired jihyo really did something to my heart (i just rewatched it and god zombie bang chan is so mf cute)
kim jisoo → when bp made their square two comeback i was immediately smitten for red-haired jisoo in playing with fire, it’s also when i realized she was my bias out of the four members
shin ryujin → the reason that i have blue hair is partially bc of ryujin and her amazing intro in wannabe :D
xuan lu → her portrayal of jiang yanli was SO ON POINT and she’s just such a kindhearted wonderful person wow i want her hand in marriage
lee yoobin → god i’ve known dreamcatcher from back when they were still called minx and ever since i’ve always looked at dami that bit more than the rest, i was also able to see dreamcatcher live in october of 2019 and the whole experience was just so amazing !!
FICTIONAL CHARACTERS
there’s a whole lot more than just these 10 but i wanted to fit the evolution into one (1) slide as best as i could lmao
peter pan → this movie came out in 2003 (?) and he’s honestly the first fictional character i remember ever having a crush on
legolas → i was really doubting between placing haldir or legolas here but i only really got a vague haldir obsession when i was like 14
zuko → LOOK. ZUKO IN ATLA? HOT. ZUKO IN LOK? HOT EVEN IF HE’S AN OLD MAN.
will turner → man was annoying sometimes but i really liked him and his relationship with elizabeth was cute
jo harvelle → gosh i can’t believe she’s the only female character in here???? yeah she was one of my two spn faves and i’ll never forgive the screenwriters for the way they killed her off
castiel → does your fave ever get sent to super hell for being gay? no? well. mine did
kili → fili and kili’s storyline tore my heart out, spit on it, and then laughed straight in my face, KILI WAS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE DWARF
howl → i only watched this movie for the first time in 2020 so i kinda fucked up the tl cause i watched cql in 2019 but shh, anyways howl with his blonde hair was good looking but howl with his black hair just hits differently. i want a howl
lan jingyi → MY BABY BOY, TINIE LITTLE BABIE WHOMST I MUST PROTECT ok no but seriously this kid. i love him a lot
mu qing → BARK BARK. that’s all (that’s not all i love him a whole lot and it hurts me to see so many people misunderstand his character and only see the bad parts of him when they can forgive others for fucking up (eg. xie lian himself & feng xin) but bc mu qing doesn’t deal well with emotions suddenly he’s the bad guy??? i s2g if ppl are gonna do to him what they did to jiang cheng in the tgcf la i will RIOT)
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Let's Channel All Our Sadness Into THis
Continuation of a Tumblr Prompt, "I don't want to feel this anymore. I want to be numb."
Heart has recently been torn to shreds so might as well make something out of it, right?
'I remember it hurt, watching her hurt,' is a line from some movie that continues to run through Aang's head as he watches Toph pretend to listen to the conversation that is going on around them. They're sitting in the living room of Sokka's apartment listening to his latest encounter with Zuko's sister.
She must feel him staring at her cause one second her eyes are trained towards the ground, unfocused and empty, and the next she looking in his direction. They stare at each other for a few seconds before she drops her gaze to her lap and picks at the hole in her jeans. It's been a week or two since the breakup with Kanto and she has slowly been withdrawing into herself. Katara had to actually show up to Toph's place and physically drag her to Sokka's. Normally, they see each other every other day or so since they live so close to each other, but none of them had seen her in days. She hasn't said anything since she greeted them all when she got here.
When she had announced their relationship several months ago, it was a shock to the group, but Kanto had quickly found his place among them, and became close with them all. So, when Toph had mumbled one night they broke up when she was asked where he was, it was a bigger shock to everyone.
"...What do you think, Toph?" Aang's attention is pulled from staring at her to Sokka. He isn't sure what the question was and he's sure Toph doesn't know either. She glances up at the group and senses that they're all waiting for her reply and the clear attempt to pull her into the conversation and include her somehow.
"What?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.
"I said that we should go see a movie, we were thinking about either Old or Free Guy."
"Oh, uh. I don't know," she says, standing up slowly, " Listen, I'm going to head home. I've got some stuff to work on," she trails off and grabbing her coat, she heads towards the door. The rest of the group look around at each other, and Aang quickly stands up, beating Toph to the door.
"Yeah, I'm going to head home, too. I have work in the morning, so I'll walk with you, T.." She doesn't say anything in acknowledgement but waits at the door as he quickly says bye to everyone and grabs his coat.
Once they're out on the sidewalk, the only sound is their feet on the pavement and Toph's sniffling every few moments. Aang stuffs his hands deep in his pockets to protect them from the cold and racks his brain to try and think of something that could possibly bring her out of her head a little bit.
Right when he opens his mouth to say something, she cuts him off, "You didn't have to come along and babysit me."
"I'm not babysitting you," he says but his tone makes it sound like a question.
"I know you all think I'm a fucking wreck. It's evident in the way you guys talk to me," she keeps her face pointed down and clicks her cane against the pavement. He didn't realize they had been talking to her any differently, but now that she mentions it, he can see it. How they carefully pick topics that steer clear of relationships or something that might have involved Kanto. "I just need time to deal with it," she says, her voice low and sounding so dejected and tired.
"Yeah, I'll go check on her," Aang says into the phone before hanging up with Katara. That night they left Sokka's apartment, she had gone downhill quickly. He knew the breakup between Toph and Kanto had been bad, but he didn't think it would ever get this bad. She had began to refuse to see anyone or answer any calls or texts. Needless to say, everyone is worried.
As he waits for the elevator to open onto her floor, he starts to think about how he is going to go about talk to her. She isn't the easiest person to read or get to open up about her feelings so it will definitely take some care and consideration.
He knocks at her door a few times, but when he doesn't receive an answer, he tries the knob and finds it unlocked. Carefully, he opens the door and is immediately hit with the smell of alcohol and the sight of Toph sitting on the couch with her head in her hands, a bottle of alcohol of something sitting on the floor next to her foot. She doesn't even acknowledge the fact that he has just walked into her apartment.
Taking a deep sigh, he shrugs off his jacket and hangs it on the hook by the door and walks over to the couch to sit beside her.
"You don't need to come check up on me, Aang."
He casts a quick glance around the living room and adjacent kitchen and sees the empty bottles, take out boxes, and clothes strewn about the counters and floors. "Yeah, obviously I don't. You seem to be handling the break up well," he answers.
Toph lifts her head and shoots him a glare, her eyes bloodshot and she has fresh tear tracks on her cheeks, "Fuck you, Aang. I don't need your fucking charity check ups or conversation. I told you that the other night," she snatches up the bottle from the floor and starts to pace around the living room, taking a swig as she goes, "Just let me deal with it in my own way."
He watches her face and notices how she doesn't even grimace when the liquid goes down her throat. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and stands by the window like she is looking out and shakes her head slightly.
"It just hurts, you know?" she whispers. "I never knew something could hurt so fucking bad." She abruptly turns away from the window, a look of anger on her face now. "I mean, he says all this fucking bullshit to me and how I'm the best thing that ever happened to him and the next fucking week, it's like, 'Oh, I found someone else to stick myself in'," she takes another swig. "I don't mean anything anymore and obviously just something he can throw away after he's done! 'I never liked you like that, Toph. I never thought you were funny or smart or pretty, I just needed something to do'!" she yells and throws the bottle at the wall, shattering it.
Aang tenses when the bottle makes contact with the wall and when he looks back at Toph, he sees that she has her head in her hands and her shoulders are shaking with her sobs. He stands up and goes to her, wrapping her in his arms.
"I don't want to feel like this anymore, Aang. I just want to be numb," she says so quietly, he almost doesn't hear it. "I should have known better than to give myself completely over to someone. I mean, I fucking watched you get your heart shattered by Onji and I swore I would never let someone hurt me like that."
Aang tenses when she mentions Onji. Although it had been a few years since they had broken up, the subject was still a little sore for him. His first love had broken his heart and then gotten with the guy who had tormented him in high school.
"Does it ever go away, this feeling?" she asks, burying her face in his chest.
Taking a deep breath, he considers her question. Although it had been years, every now and then, the plaguing question of 'Why wasn't I good enough' or 'What did he have that I didn't' haunts him at night when he is lying alone in bed at night.
It takes him a moment to answer, to steady his voice, "I think it does. It just takes time, Toph," he whispers to her. He leans down and kisses the top of her head. He can feel the way her tears are starting to seep into his shirt, making the material stick to his skin, but he doesn't mind. He'll stand here for hours with her if it means she won't be alone with her thoughts.
He ends up staying the night with her, and when she finally passes out, he starts to clean up her place, throwing bottles in a trash bag he had gotten from under the sink. He cleans up the mess she made from throwing the bottle at the wall, and discovers that she had done this at least 3 more times, which explains why her apartment smelled so bad.
Around 2 am, he finally collapses on her couch and places an arm over his eyes. The reminder of Onji that Toph had given him earlier that day was sticking with him. He remembers how raw that pain was, how it stole the breath from him every few hours and brought him down to his knees. He wouldn't wish that pain on anyone so knowing that his best friend is hurting that way is hurting him.
He wakes up around 10 am to the sound of Toph rummaging quite loudly through the fridge. Rubbing a hand over his face, trying to wake himself up, Aang sits up on the couch and looks over towards the kitchen. Toph is in a bralette and shorts, something she normally wears around the house. At first, the rest of the group were kind of scandalized when they discovered this, but after a while, it became normal to see her dressed like that.
"What are you looking for?" he asks.
"There was a bottle of vodka in here yesterday," she mumbles.
Taking a deep breath and stealing himself for this argument, "I threw it out." Toph stops looking for the bottle and slowly stands up, turning her face over to him.
"You did what?" her voice is low and deadly. Aang visibly swallows but lifts his chin and chest in fake confidence, which he realizes is kind of stupid since she can't see him no matter what he does.
"You're drinking yourself to death, Toph. It's not health-"
"How I choose to handle this fucking breakup is none of your goddamn business, Aang," she yells, walking from the kitchen into the living room, pointing a finger at him. "You weren't any better, so I don't want to fucking hear it."
Aang stands up from the couch and moves towards her, "It is my business if you're self-destructing, Toph. I'm not watching you go down the hole I went down, it's not safe."
"Safe?" she screams. "Are you fucking kidding me? What's not safe is you throwing out my shit."
He takes a deep breath and places his hands on her shoulders, aiming for a calm demeanor, "Go get dressed. I'm taking you to breakfast."
"I don't want to go anywhere with you right now."
"Do it, before I fucking make you do it," his voice is low and steady. She knows that when he puts that tone in his voice he isn't screwing around. Toph crosses her arms over her chest and chews on her lower lip for a moment. After a moment of pouting, she huffs loudly and stalks towards her bedroom.
The tension drains from Aang's shoulders. He really has no desire to go out in public right now, especially with the mood that she is in, but his duty to her as her best friend out weighs his personal needs.
They're both sitting in a booth at one of the local diners and he can feel the anger still radiating off of Toph. The waitress picks up on it too because she cuts herself off halfway through the specials, and just scurries off to get their drinks.
"Go on, say it," he says.
"Fuck you for making me come out like this," she says, her arms crossing over her chest. "I was doing just fine, you know. I was handling it."
"Drinking yourself into oblivion everyday so you don't feel it doesn't count as handling it, Toph"
She just snorts and turns her head away, her lips pursed. Their waitress comes and drops off their drinks and quickly takes their food order and scurries off again. Aang thinks they're going to spend their meal in tense silence, but when he glances up at her, he sees the fight going out of her and tears swelling up in her eyes.
"Why are you even doing this, Aang?" she whispers.
He doesn't even realize he is doing it until he is out of his seat and sliding in next to her. His arm comes around her shoulders and he pulls her to him, letting her rest his head against his shoulder.
"Because, I remember this pain. I remember how bad it hurt, how it felt like someone had shot a hole right through my chest and left me to bleed out. Because, I can see how hard you're trying to be angry about the situation, but I know you're sad and dying inside." Toph turns and buries her face into his shoulder, hiding her tears from the rest of the world. He rubs his hand up and down her arm, trying to soothe her.
The waitress comes back with their food and sees the way Aang has his arm around Toph and gives him a sympathetic smile and quietly sets their food on the table before walking off.
"Come on, eat something. I doubt you've had a proper meal in days," he mumbles to her.
#taang#taangst#angst#toph beifong#aang#toph x aang#maybe a happy ending#but prob not#the way my life is currently going#there wont be a happy ending cause theres no happy ending for me#happy endings are just stories that havent ended yet#avatar the last airbender#atla
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miss ro!!! ur jeongin fic was so cute that letter with all the misspellings made me cackle low-key - really can imagine 바보 빵 (fool bread(?) not sure how they render that nickname in english for him) writing it 😭 him and mc were so cute no lie
so like i swear dpr ian used to have a soundcloud that i would listen to but for some reason i can’t track down the stuff anymore ?? but equally maybe i’m getting confused bc i listen to a lot of k-artists on soundcloud (i remember the day i discovered got7 jb’s music on there and completely lost my shit lmao but that’s a diff story) i’m honestly such a sucker for soundcloud artists why am i like this 💀💀 but he literally dropped off the grid apart from his insta after his idol group disbanded and his spotify is basically empty apart from zombie pop (which is p cute it’s in the dpr archives album) and his new album. i honestly love all the tracks on it bc have been listening to the singles since they dropped but nerves and scaredy cat are my faves i think of the new ones?? i low-key suck at song recs lmao bc usually I just queue the entire album start to finish / listen to ppl’s curated spotify playlists for like kr&b/indie&chill etc while i’m doing work so i usually hear stuff i like but don’t know the titles ?? last year i was heavy obsessed with dpr live’s album tho “is anybody out there” and also ph-1’s 2019 album “halo” is still one of my faves. i can try and dig through and find specific songs i saved tho if u want!
also i’m watching the making of the album documentary now and it’s honestly spectacular (and only 13mins it needs to be longer 😭😭😭) - he goes into the back story of each song and talks about his life too and there’s clips of him filming the MVs and laying down the tracks. it’s low-key getting me v emotional especially when he was talking about dope lovers and how he had some p bad relationships bc he tends to push ppl away when he’s going thru stuff and he was recording the lyric “it was all for a kiss” and then he said “was it for a kiss or was it from a kiss because honestly, i think a lot of shit happens after the kiss” and ooft that hurttttt
british insults are honestly the best - i love them bc they’re like super snarky/get to the point but they’re not actually like properly derogatory names? like i rly get uncomfy when ppl properly swear at someone even if I like hate them with a burning passion lmaoooo
omg snow day??? we haven’t had snow for a while now :(( my friend lives in mass tho and she said it was snowing yesterday too i’m jel :(( i thrive in the night too lmao but man my insomnia’s been kicking my ass lately 🥲🥲 i deadass live my life like chan and i rly thought this would stop after uni but i guess it’s just my state of being 😭😭
i love reading ur replies they rly brighten my day 🥺🥺 i get a bit in my head sometimes lmao gotta love that anxiety/depression mix 🤪🤪 and rly worry i’m being annoying/ saying too much / blocking up ur feed for other readers also 🥲🥲 i hope other ppl aren’t getting annoyed by how long my asks are 🥺🥺 mayb one day i’ll reveal myself n we can just msg instead or sth idk 😭😭
n e ways i’m gonna dip now but i hope you have a good day/night/week too, miss ro!! my life is spiralling low-key so might be gone for a bit but in the meantime i hope things go well for u!! and do lemme know what u think of MITO !! (and honestly check out the making doc if u have time!!) -😖
😖 awe heck, my responses make your day? 🥺 that makes me so so happy!! i know how ya feel, I tend to have hot and cold weeks, and my writing is what tends to keep it at bay :) as well as talking to all you cuties! You don’t annoy me at all sweets!! however ya feel like talking is fine with me!! ;) also don’t ya worry about dipping either! life gets crazy and I totally get ya! <3
more under the cut!
also thank you so much about my new jeongin fic!! writing his lil letter was my favorite part actually hahahah i was trying to channel my inner awkward teen boy for that one LOLLL to suit his character being super sweet and loveable and a lil shy on the side I knew that he would make some cute lil mistakes hehe
I’ll def listen to your recs!! I really need to listen to more kr&b tho! I have like two or three playlists that i listen to allll the time and am in dire need of new music haha the other week I discovered Kali Uchis’ new album and that’s been on repeat for me like crazyyyy recently FRICK its so good haha so that is my recommendation hehe
That sounds like a really interesting documentary tho!! I actually really like music documentaries! hahah I watch them with my dad sometimes about classic rock artists etc. it super cool to me to hear about everything that goes into an album as well as the creative process behind it too! like when skz do their little interviews and stuff before an album releases I lovvve that haha for the same reason I love hearing about why authors write what they did too! gahhh i’m ramblin but the creative process is so cool to me! I’d love to check it out!
whats funny abt swearing is that (oddly) even at nearly 21 years of age I am still not allowed to swear around my parents hahaha but when I’m not around them??? i will say anything and everything lolll but never at people like ya said haha i remeber a while ago I heard “bucket of fucks” and I thought that was pretty funny haha, also yay for snow days!! its funny bc I’m currently not in the state where I go to school so the weather was just fine here but there was like two feet of snow on the actual campus haha i heard that the students got together to have a snowball fight on our soccer fields (i just hope they were safe ooP)
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Unpopular opinion but making Anna and Elsa related to the Northuldra and making their mom indigenous is actually good and less problematic bc it makes it slightly less white savior ish.
I mean imagine if they weren't related to the northuldra at all. Two white princesses show up after their white grandpa king tried to colonize the shit out of the Northuldra and fix everything while the indigenous people sit there uselessly waiting for some white colonizer to save them. Making Iduna northuldra and thus having her daughters be part northuldra doesn't fix everything of course, but it's not a bad decision in itself. In any case it's a GOOD decision that wasn't as thoroughly developed and explored as it should have for it to work properly. And at the end it's implied Elsa lives with the Northuldra and I think its likely she's reconnecting to her mother's people, probably becoming one of them in time, and Anna with her "our lands and people" line also implies she considers the northuldra somewhat her people too.
Sure it's problematic to retcon the two white princesses indigenous if they're going to put so little effort into making it work, but if this was going to be the story, it's less problematic than NOT having them be related to this indigenous people.
If you ask me, i would have included at least one Northuldra main character, who was probably introduced during the deleted prologue scene bc that scene rocks, and Idk have them be the POV character of that scene maybe? Or one of the POV characters alongside tiny Iduna. And then give them almost as much protagonism as the girls once they're reunited. Omg it could be Iduna's mother since she was calling out to her. The scene jumping between their POVs as they try to find each other? OH MY GOD WHAT IF YELENA WAS HER MOM. WHAT IF YELENA IS ANNA AND ELSA'S GRANDMA I WOULD HAVE LOVED THAT. Anyways just give the Northuldra more developed and give them more agency. I would do this by moving the spirit stuff to the side a bit and making more space for the Northuldra-Arendelle conflict. Maybe the two groups are still fighting! Maybe the gang needs to act as a mediator and figure out the truth before they all kill each other? Now you have a ticking clock and stakes, which is exactly what the movie needed. Add that the damn destroying the land, floods, the woods dying, lack of food etc and basically life in the forest getting worse and worse and BAM you got it! High stakes a sense of urgency. At first it looks like there must be a misunderstanding between the groups, or like there's some evil bad guy pulling the strings but no Arendelle just fucked up. Maybe they don't believe Elsa is queen so they don't obey her word? i mean she’s got magic so they might not trust her. And there are like, battle plans and some BIG FINAL PLAN to END THE ENEMY ONCE AND FOR ALL that probably includes Elsa or Anna bc i don't like coincidences so the final missing piece they needed has to be recently introduced. Anyways Yelena (yeah i'm keeping yelena) is not the only important northuldra character, Ryder and Honeymaren should be important too but they don't have to be main characters at the same level of say olaf or krisroff back in the first movie (cos we all know no one comes at the same level as the sisters). The northuldra as a whole need to be important actors in the story. And if their leader is a main character then so should be the leader of the Arendellians so we're promoting Mattias as well. Great now we have two new protagonists. I don't think we NEED more and this movie is still 2 hours long or less so there it is. (This is a great oportunity to show Anna being a leader and do a better job at selling us queen!Anna for the ending). Then we show the girls 1) learn more about their country's true history (sprinkle some historical revisionism themes here and there) and 2) further connect to the Northuldra. Meet their extended family, form a deep emotional connection with them, learn from them, probably have a cool scene at the climax where they win/survive with their new knowledge, and basically slowly become one of them. This would probably require the movie to span a longer period of time. Maaaaybe a month? That would be new! Also cool and a great oportunity for a montage with an epic song. If httyd can do it so can we. Maybe at the Low PointTM they realize compromise is impossible and they need i pick side? And pick the Northuldra hopefully. Maybe Anna is more invested in this plotline (communication, fighting ect) while Elsa takes care of the spiritual side of the isse? Especially if you want to keep the ending. And most importantly: whatever the girls did to save the day, they were helping Yelena. Or following Yelena's plan somehow. Even if Yelena doesn’t literally give them orders that the girls mindlessly follow, make it clear Yelena was the one to provide the knowladge to solve the problem. Or the Northuldra as a whole, but having it be Yelena would feel more fitting. THE GIRLS DO NOT BRING IN NEW KNOWLADGE, INFORMATION OR SOLUTIONS TO THE TABLE. THE NORTHULDRA DO. LET THE NORTHULDRA BE THEIR OWN HEROES. LET THE GIRLS BE THE HEROES ONLY WHEN THEY’RE CHANNELING THEIR INNER NORTHULDRA OR SOMETHING. ONLY BECAUSE THEY’RE SOMEWHAT PART OF THE NORTHULDRA. Maybe it was a comment or something Yelena said during an argument with them? That they remembered later during the climax and finally understand the solution or something idk. the solution is probably to destroy the dam i guess. In any case, the girls discover some stuff in the forest that allow them to re-contextualize the information the Northuldra already had, or maybe they only put the pieces together after having a Character Arc that allowed them to see the solution and that’s why Yelena couldn’t just tell them what to do and be done with it because they didn’t actually get it idk.
Also, this is my personal opinion but the world of frozen 2 felt weirdly empty. i would have expanded it by having a bigger arendellian military camp, like a small city, probably stone constructions such as abandoned watch towers and shit, maybe an abandoned village destroyed by the spirits? places for the gang to explore, find information about the past and traces of the truth and shit. Also, more Northuldra. More Northuldra is always good. Maybe there are different tribes or clans of the same nation, and they’re all somewhat dinstinctive, hopefully drawing inspiration from the different sámi groups? Maybe Yelena’s clan lives in the forest, but then there are others who live further north in the frozen tundra or high in the mountains idk dude but that would have been super cool, if the girls had to connect and get to know all the different Northuldra groups? also, worldbuilding. i love worldbuilding.
Give the northuldra characters arcs! Give them personality! Give them inner conflict! And tune down the magic native noble savage planet of hats bs. Yes i know those are not the same things. Give me Northuldra who are assholes, or who don’t have a knack for spiritual shit, or who are not happy with how things are done. Snarky Northuldra. Funny Northuldra. Northuldra with dreams and fears and agency. Just have a few background characters make offhand comments about literally anything that could make it look like they have personality and develop Honeymaren and Ryder a little bit more. Maybe the leader previous to Yelena was this very spiritual person and Yelena is... not. And doesn’t get along with the spirits. And can’t seem to live up to what is needed of her. Elsa being suuuuuper in tune with the spirits would probably be Not Cool in this scenario but I think it can be well made if they both learned how to better connect to the spirits togehter? Helping each other and shit. Maybe Elsa connects to them in a more personal level because she knows how they feel, being treated as monsters, and approaches them like you would approach a traumatized person rather than a dangerous animal. And Yelena actually KNOWS stuff about spirits so yeah she’d still have more tools and knowladge than Elsa no matter how much she relates to them, and could actually teach her about them and how not to get killed whenever she tries to have therapy with them.
Probably have the sisters slowly adopt bits and pieces of Northuldra culture, to show they’re reconnecting to their mother’s people (all of it allowed by yelena obvs. Yelena is like “I think you’re ready for this” and gives Anna some cool Northuldra weapon. Possibly a sword. please. give anna a sword).
Going back to Mattias for a bit, if he’s supposed to represent The Bad Guys aka Arendelle, give him a redemption arc, to represent that Runeard wasn’t just one evil individual. Arendelle’s colonialism is an Arendelle problem and ALL of Arendelle needs to adress it and fix its crimes. Maybe he has an enemies-to-friends story with Yelena? That would be nice.
As you can see, Frozen 2 would have needed a lot of fixing for the Northuldra plot to work, but Anna and Elsa being part indigenous is NOT the problem. People in real life DO reconnect with their indigenous heritage. Sometimes. I know I would love to connect to mine but I think it’s a bit too late for my family, which is why I love Frozen 2 so much. idk if i like it, but damn if I didn’t cry watching it. I do think the writers should have to consult a lot of indigenous people and take their word very seriously to write this kind of story, but that can be done! They have the time space and resources for that! Frozen 2 COULD have been a story about the girls reconnecting to their indigenous heritage and finding their place and their people. God knows being mixed will give you like 5 identity crisis at the same time. I’m actually kind of writing a fic about it. If this was the story they wanted to tell, Anna and Elsa being mixed is not the problem. It is, in fact, part of an unfinished, abandoned solution.
#frozen 2#northuldra#meta#kinda#theory?#yelena#iduna#elsa#anna#criticism#fix-it#i guess?#mattias#worldbuilding#enchanted forest
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I've been following you for a while but I dont know all that much about your OCs so how about a big resume of them all?? :DDD
I haven't really posted much about them on this account until recently so that doesn't really suprise me 😅 but yeah I absolutely can! Warning though this is going to be unbelievably long
I guess I should start off with Zensuke because he is THE gay purple cat. I named this blog after this guy. I made him when I was probably like 12-13 or around there so he had all the things you'd expect a repressed edgy kid's of to have. He was basically a demon who managed to get out of thier world's equivalent of hell and instead of doing anything evil he just made cake and got married to the guard who was supposed to kill him. I don't really do much with him anymore but I still love him very much.
Corbinian is probably the character I talk most about and he's the one I edit to fit into different worlds the most. He was a normal doctor but he got his memory wiped by robots and ended up working as an executioner for the robotic mafia, but eventually got caught and had to hide out in Lobotomy (he was originally a Lobotomy Corp oc) where he discovered he can extract abnormality dna and with some altering the dna can be injected into humans causing a variety of different mutations and effects. He's usually very heartless and manipulative, but does have a soft spot, usually for anxious, soft spoken people, who subconsciously remind him of his brother (who is a friends if so I can't really get into him). He also was given a variety of nicknames by the higher ups, like Corb, Corn chip, Corb on the Orb, or just Corn. Je
Corble is the result of Corb trying out human cloning. He has the same general appearance as Corbinian, but with purple hair (hence the name, because he's porble corb) that's styled differently. Since the experiment was technically a failure Corb was going to kill him, but Corble was really sweet and innocent and Corb basically went "well great guess I adopted my clone then". Corb stopped messing with cloning but adores Corble.
Might as well get all of my Lobotomy ocs out of the way. Oliver is the first Lobotomy oc I ever made, which is funny because I may or may not constantly forget that he exists. Oliver is basically a five year old kid in an adults body, and I mean that literally, because his parents basically locked him in a room and ignored him so his mental age is basically that of a kids. He's very mischievous and loves pulling pranks on people, most of which are harmless. Unless it's Corb, whom Oliver gates with a passion. Then it's thinly veiled murder attempts disgusted as pranks. He loves Fairy tales, and only works with fairy tale abnormalities because he panics with any other kind. Only one person in the entire facility can even put up with him, and that's Mabel.
Mabel is trans lesbian who can find the good in almost anyone. She's optimistic, bubbly, and has a great sense of humor. She tends to get really flustered around women though. Is it obvious I kinda projected onto her a bit? Because I did. If she wasn't in Lobotomy she'd definitely be a streamer. I'm just now realizing I basically made snapcube before I knew who that was. Whoops.
Up next is Adam! Adam is quiet, nervous, and honestly just prefers to not be noticed. Their ability to almost seamlessly blend into thier surroundings is astounding. Most people (me included) tend to just forget they exist. Which honestly is funny because they end up dating the loudest, most cocky person in the entire facility. Adam loves horror movies and spicy food.
Kieth is the loudest, most cocky person in the entire facility. He's the adopted son of a sephirah and the leader of the Rabbit team so that much is unavoidable. He's quick to anger, blunt, and tends to underestimate other people. However, he's also loyal to a fault, and willing to back his friends up no matter what. He feels like his mom's are expecting him to live up to expectations that he can't (and that they don't have but he doesn't realize that), so he's constantly throwing himself in harm's way to desperately try to prove to them that they made a good investment by adopting him or die trying. His two passions in life are collecting weapons and tending to rabbits, two of which he managed to train to sit on his shoulders and attack people. Despite being total opposites he loves Adam very much and will endure any horror movie with them, even if he's a huge scaredy cat.
Damien doesn't gave that much development, unfortunately. He came from a very religious household, moved out, and frequently gets possessed by an abnormality who makes him act like a cryptid. Totally normal stuff. He also went to law school.
Zephyr is a very, very serious individual. They've got a completely monotone color palette, speak either in short, blunt sentences or long, fanciful paragraphs with no in between, and tend to come off as cold and stiff. They're completely devoted to work, which is how they managed to become a captain. Despite this, they're very kind and caring, but unfortunately rarely get to show that side of themselves unless it's with Jamison, thier partner, both in crime and in the romantic sense. They also have a love/hate relationship with Owen, basically openly hating his guts but also enjoys thier banter and would hate if anything genuinely awful happened to them or his family.
Jamison is the complete opposite of Zephyr. He's an open book, very colorful, and tends to slack of when Zephyr isn't looking. Not on purpose, he just tends to get distracted most of the time. He's quite popular because he's very cheerful, which is rare in the higher ranks of Lobotomy. He'd absolutely die for Zephyr, and us usually the one who patches thier wounds. He really doesn't like Owen and thinks thier a pain in the ass, but keeps that to himself most of the time.
Owen is..... Interesting. I kinda went buck wild with him not gonna lie. He's one of the oldest son's of the God of Nightmares and Fire, an absolute agent of choas, and a campy fashion nightmare. But... I love them. They're both unbelievably obnoxious and also very caring. He's the kind of character you'd love but also hate at the same time. He also ended up becoming the God of Death in one timeline. If he wasn't God they'd probably run makeup guru/cursed amsr YouTube channel. Honestly he'd still run those as a God though. Also gender is a toy store and Owen is a kid who broke in after dark and is running along pushing all of the assorted genders into a cart while laughing maniacally (they use any pronouns but I stuck to just he/him they/them for this little snippet)
Alright, Lobotomy ocs done. Up next is.... Ugh... Octavious. He's originally a Danganronpa oc, the shsl gossip, and he was made to be a villian and by God does it show. He's the most fake, back stabbing, two faced character I've ever made. He's also the most one dimensional, which was actually intensional. He has no personality beyond being a petty, lying bitch, so when he runs out of lies and rumors to spread he goes into an existential crisis about how he has virtually no identity until he makes some new lie up about some random person. He's also abusive towards his younger sibling Aspyn, whom he has both physically and emotionally scarred. And, the icing on the "fuck this guy" cake, he's incredibly obsessive over his "wife" Melissa, who wants nothing to do with him and never even dated him, let alone married him. Basically he's a horrible, lying, abusive stalker. He also dresses exclusively in eye burn pink since the most poisonous bugs are usually brightly colored. Fuck Octavious, all my homies hate Octavious.
Next is Melissa, who honestly wasn't much better before her arc. She was raised to believe that in order to truely succeed in life, you have to ensure others fail. She, unfortunately, took that advice to heart. Get arc consisted of learning that we all can succeed together and that actively fucking other people over just made her an awful person, so she changed her behavior and tried to help people from then on out. She's incredibly meticulous, organized, and really smart. She still has issues trusting, but she's getting better. She has a crush on Octavious's younger sibling, but absolutely despises Octavious.
Aspyn is a quiet, caring individual who has no confidence both due to Octavious and just how they were raised. They are an incredibly skilled doctor, however, managing to perform amazingly in several different fields. They are, however, very defensive about thier passions, quick to insult anyone who questions them, mainly due to Octavious. They have a huge crush Melissa, but is to afraid to ask her out. Also they wear an eye patch because Octavious messed up one of thier eyes.
Hooo boy where to start with Edward. He's really inconsistent between universes, but the main constants are his power (he can trade bodies with people), him and Max getting together, him being a huge bookworm, and somehow he usually ends up being my self inserts dad???? Hos other aspects tend to change. Sometimes he's a power hungry megalomaniac who's trying to take over the world and will crush anyone and everyone who gets in his way or isn't useful to him, using his power evily to stay young forever by trading bodies with his kids and killing them when they're in his body. Other times, he's a fairly calm, if not a little cold, man whos biggest crime is the occasional tax evasion, who's power is more of a curse, causing him to stay alive forever through a series of unfortunate coincidences. Either way he's fun to write
Max is one of my favorite characters. He loves baking, his friends and family, he isn't too bright but no one holds that against him. Unfortunately, no matter which side of Edward it is, he's hopelessly in love with him, which can lead to his downfall. He's very protective of his cousin Heron, and tries to protect the innocent, which he usually doesn't end up doing thanks to evil Edwards manipulation. I also somehow failed to mention he's a plant man and flowers sprout wherever he walks and he can control plants but I couldn't find a good way to fit that in naturally.
Heron is half a plant man, in the worst possible way. He has rose vines instead of blood, which feels exactly how you think it would. Magic keeps his alive luckily, but it's unbelievably painful. Most of him and Max's family died when they were young, and unlike Mac who ended up on the streets, Heron ended up in an orphanage, where he learned at a young age that he shouldn't get close to anyone because if he does, they'd die. He genuinely believes that, and the only person he thinks is immune, is his cousin Max, who he even still expects to drop dead. Heron mainly fights by breaking his skin so his vines will grow rapidly and trap and kill his attacker, which looking back is uh. Kinda symbolic. I didn't do that on purpose but it fits
Eden is an angel, who was outcasted from heaven after being framed for a crime they didn't commit. They don't understand how humans work, but is trying thier best to fit in. He's one of the few beings Heron trusts, and even still Heron doesn't trust them much because of Eden's ability, being able to control holy flames. Eden is stoic and aloof, with an odd sense of humor. He insists that him baking using his holy flames is a form of training. Despite them claiming to be above human emotions, they very much are not above them and he is actually quite emotional.
Avocado is one of Herons old friends, who fell victim to Herons "luck" (aka they died). They are a drider (basically spider centaur) who came from a large family of drider thieves. They are very quiet and kind, which they use to thier advantage, since one would thing they'd steal small objects from people's houses or pickpocket them, which Avocado very much does. While they're fairly weak in combat thier thieving skills are not to be underestimated.
Grape is Avocados older sibling, and they are very serious and quite rude. Grape wants to kill Heron to avenge thier sibling, but ends up getting caught robbing the wrong person and ends up having to join the person's kids adventuring party.
Apple is the oldest drider sibling, and ends up taking a motherly role for all of the younger kids. They had to grow up incredibly fast, and has to make all of the hard decisions in place of thier dying father. Desperately needs a break.
There's more spider siblings but there isn't much info on them
Both Sherry and Theodore Poser are mainly just there because I have them really fun designs and don't really have a personality. Sherry's kinda hard to draw though
#this took forever but oh well#im also not tagging every individual oc lol#asks#aki no nyo#gay purple ocs#gay purple posts#long post
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921
LOL was gone for a while to attempt doing that ridiculous 5000 survey myself again and I really thought I was going to breeze through it this time. 2 1/2 weeks and 2500 questions later, I need a fucking break. Need normal surveys plz.
What was the best thing to happen to you this week?
Got to visit Gabie today! I brought Cooper as well so that she, her sisters, and their puppy Tofu could finally meet him. Fun day, but I am beat. The blackout yesterday also made me revisit painting, and that felt so good too.
Where do you put your keys when you get home?
It always differs, idk why I never picked up a routine. Sometimes I set it on the dining table, other times on the decorative table in the living room, and other times I bring it up with me to my room.
Do you prefer hot coffee or iced coffee?
I preferred hot (warm would be more accurate) for the longest time but once I went iced, I never wanted to go back.
What's your phone background picture?
I recently changed my lock screen to one of Audrey Hepburn. My home screen is still Hayley Williams.
If you could move to any country, what would it be?
Anywhere with a clean and honest government sounds like heaven.
Have you ever seen a snake in the wild?
No. Can’t say there’s a lot of them here in the city, and I’ve never seen any in my trip to provinces either.
What's your favourite movie from the 80s?
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
Do you have any posters, paintings or other artwork on your walls?
I have at least one of each of these, yes.
What would your dream wedding be like?
Huge. I’d want a long guest list, expansive food choices, and acts that can provide good music throughout the evening. I never really throw parties for myself, so I would want at least my own wedding to be big.
Would you ever take a trip to space if given the chance?
Yesssssss.
How do you cope with anxiety?
I'm lucky to have found different outlets, so that said I usually choose from taking surveys, watching a favorite channel on YouTube, turning to my dogs, going to social media to see dumb memes, or taking a nap altogether. Of course there’ll always be those days where none of these work out and I’ll have to just cry through the anxiety attacks until they’re over.
Are you expecting any phone calls or emails?
I’m expecting an email from my college, yes. I’m currently applying for civil service eligibility and they’re asking for documents that only the college can provide, so I emailed them a couple of days ago asking for assistance, and that’s considering we’re still under a lockdown and most offices are still under skeleton staffing.
What's the weather like in your part of the world right now?
LOVELY. I actually wear oversized sweaters to bed now and I even managed to wear a thick denim jacket out today. The rainy weather has settled beautifully, and I’m perfectly fine with 24ºC-28ºC everyday.
What was the last takeout food you ate?
My mom bought me and my siblings a chicken sandwich and chicken nuggets each from McDonald’s last week.
Who makes you laugh the most?
Definitely someone from my college barkada. I can’t decide whether it’s Aya, Kate, JM, or Jum; they’re all equally hilarious as fuck.
Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?
See these questions are always weird to me because my country has its own naming customs; it’s basically a mix of American and Spanish customs. We have two first names (where Westerners would understand their second ‘first’ name to be their middle name) and our actual legal middle name is our mother’s maiden surname (which I think doesn’t apply at all in the Western world). So to answer this I’ll go with our own customs and say that no, I don’t know of anyone who has the same middle name as me. It’s not a very common surname anyway.
What did you have done the last time you saw a dentist?
Had a tooth removed. I don’t think it was a wisdom tooth; it was just a tooth at the back of my mouth that had been in pretty bad shape for years but was only discovered at that time.
What does a successful relationship look like to you?
I believe the formula is different for every couple. Like I value constant communication and checkups, but others might not feel the need to be clingy or update their significant others all the time.
What do you like to put on your baked potato?
Don’t really have these a lot, but I remember when my mom used to make baked potatoes with bacon and cheese and those were unbelievably good.
What field of science interests you the most?
Biology. <3 I’m sure I would’ve taken up medicine if I only wasn’t so bad in the rest of the sciences.
What's the closest shop or restaurant to your house?
There aren’t any nearby shops since I live in a gated community, but once you get out of the village’s main gate, the first thing to the left is a McDonald’s. To the right is a small complex with a hair salon, burger place, music school, and one of those boujee stores that sell hype clothing.
Do you have any family that live in another country?
So many relatives. We’re Filipinos, man. We migrate everyfuckingwhere. As far as I know I have family living in the US, Canada, Vietnam, Japan, China, Australia, and New Zealand.
What colour is your couch?
Gray.
Do you know how to care for plants and keep them alive?
Not at all. Every single plant that I’ve been given as a gift or party giveaway has died on me.
What was the most memorable birthday you've had?
18th was awesome. Cruise trip, hotel stay with friends, Tiendesitas + noodle date with Gab. How I got away with three separate celebrations without my parents saying anything about it I’ll never know.
Would you rather go to the beach or the mountains?
Beach. The area where I live is mountainous as it is; as someone who’s always lived and studied in the city, a trip to the beach in the province never gets old.
What do you do for work?
I don’t have any yet but I’m waiting for openings for our national agency for either history, or culture and the arts. My plans have shifted recently and I’m now eyeing to work for either instead of rotting away while underpaid at a corporate agency.
Have you ever been to see the circus?
No. I wouldn’t be interested either; they all just seem so harsh and unethical.
Are there any words that you hate or make you cringe?
Sure.
What is the best house you've ever lived in?
The one we live in today has been the most comfortable; but I also hold a lot of nostalgia for my dad’s parents’ house in Tondo because of how raw Manila life was there. Life wasn’t pretty, but it did feel real.
What was the first CD you ever bought?
The first CD I actively wanted my parents to buy for me was probably the High School Musical soundtrack, heheh.
Do you look in the mirror before you leave the house?
Yeah, always. Wanna make sure my shirt is tucked in properly (if it is), or that my jeans aren’t cuffed funny or whatever else.
What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten?
I’ve mentioned this before but it was the Indian dessert gulab jamun. Really did not expect the flavor that came in when it hit my mouth.
Have you ever seen someone quit their job in a dramatic way?
I’ve never had a legit job, but when Jeuel quit the org a couple of years ago because of ~irreconcilable differences~ between him and us officers in the executive board it did feel a tad bit dramatic and passive-aggressive.
What movie reminds you of your childhood?
Shrek 2 or The Game Plan.
Do you know why your parents named you what they did?
The singer named Robyn was really big then and they ended up being fans of the name.
Do you have any bills that need to be paid?
None of my own. My parents usually pay the family bills immediately, so I don’t think we have any pending payments for now.
What do you like to dip your fries in?
Mayonnaise.
Is your house clean or messy right now?
It’s always clean as my mom is extremely tidy.
What was the last email you received?
It’s one of the job-hunting websites I’ve signed up for, giving me job alerts for new openings in my chosen industries.
Do you know someone who speaks without a filter?
Yeah and I know people who do it responsibly and those who just come off as tactless.
Are you in any social groups?
We call our college group the Daydrinkers, since our friendship began when we started constantly hanging out at nearby bars at like 2 PM, during our breaks lol. I used to be in a barkada in high school but Angela and I broke apart from that since we couldn’t deal with Athenna’s toxicity anymore, though I still keep in touch with most of them, like Chelsea and Kaira. Since then Angela and I have formed our own group consisting mostly of Angela’s friends from architecture and Hans’ friends from Ateneo.
How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
Sigh, around 4. I don’t know why it was so few, but it also means that I’m currently drowsy as all hell at 9:03 PM. I will most likely turn in for bed after this.
What's your favourite kind of museum?
Those that cover history, so museums that have artifacts and fossils and shit.
Do you believe in alternate universes?
I like the idea, and I love literature that explores the idea of alternate realities, multiple universes, pocket universes, etc. Whether or not I believe they exist...idk. I don’t think about it that much in literal terms. < Yeah pretty much. Gaby Dunn wrote an amazing piece on multiverses and that was what got me to find comfort in the idea.
Whose house did you last visit?
I was at Gabie’s place this afternoon. We had burritos, talked about career prospects, and puppy-sat our babies.
What games do you play on your smart phone?
I turn to 1010 when I’m bored or anxious. I have like 30 other games but I never touch them lol, but I do keep them should the time be right to whip them out.
Have you ever been to Los Angeles?
I have not.
What was the first concert you ever went to?
Paramore, February 2013. I was a late bloomer; kids my age started going to concerts at least three years before that.
Do you know anyone who is colourblind?
I don’t think so.
What's your favourite season and why?
The wet season, because it’s colder and I hate the heat during the dry season.
Are you the youngest, middle or eldest child in your family?
I’m the eldest.
If you had to make something for a potluck, what would you make?
I recently watched this phenomenal recipe for 48-hour chocolate chip cookies that looked absolutely bonkers when they were done baking. I’d for sure give those a try for dessert. If that fails I’d just buy the food so that what I bring is more guaranteed to be good.
What kinds of decorations do you put up at Halloween?
My family has never cared much for Halloween. It’s not even a legit holiday, so as much as I love Halloween I don’t think I would spend for decorations myself to decorate my own place. The only instance I imagine doing so would be if I have kids of my own who may want to get into the Halloween ~spirit.
How many tabs do you have open right now?
In my current window, eight.
What's something you've been meaning to do but keep putting off?
Taking another online course, just because it’s great to learn new things and earn free certifications while at it. I haven’t been doing a good job at being consistent with them, though.
What's the first thing you check on your phone at the start of the day?
Facebook since it’s my primary social media now. Literally never thought this day would come.
Have you ever flown a kite?
Yeah but it’s been a while.
Who was your favourite music artist when you were 16?
This was the time I was slowly moving away from my punk phase and inching closer to Athenna’s music tastes, so I was into acts like Hozier, Banks, Daya, Twenty One Pilots, etc.
What are three things you usually always have in your fridge?
Water, bread, eggs.
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That’s me (in my nursing cap because it’s my most recent photo and capping ceremony was cancelled so I took pics in my house to send to nursing school buddies instead):
Amanda - meme - Manda
28
NJ
Tired AF
And bored so I am answering this Ask Meme I found by @myautisticjournal
What music have you discovered or listened to lately?
I’ve been listening to my Recently Added playlist on iTunes. Only “recently added” has been adjusted to include the last 28 months. lol But I did discover Blinding Lights by The Weeknd and that song’s been making me happy. Hurricane (Reimagined) by I Prevail has hit me in the Depress and next week The Used’s new album comes out so I’m waiting for that.
Have you made any new playlists since quarantine times? If they’re on Spotify, maybe drop a link?
I haven’t made any Quarantine Playlists because ALL my music is about being isolated and depressed anyway that like... what’s the difference?
Make a three-song-minimum playlist of songs that make you happy!
Blinding Lights // The Weeknd (also makes me think of Data because I discovered it around the same time I started watching TNG so now they Go Together)
Paradise Lost // The Used
Dance Monkey // Tones and I
What’s your go-to show that you like to binge watch? Why do you like that show?
Currently its Star Trek TNG - because Data
And One Day at a Time because that shit hits real.
Are there any shows that you‘ve been planning to start watching? Why do they interest you?
It was just Star Trek and I did start watching. Interested because I wanted originally to watch ST Picard because Harry Treadaway but having never seen any ST before it didnt make sense (obvs) so I went back and started watching TNG. I didn’t want to start with the original series because honestly my attention span is garbage and I just was always curious about Data and so I started with him.
What movie(s) always comforts you?
Twister, Forrest Gump, The Lion King (1994). I’m currently wearing Lion King pjs lol. Pirate Radio is a relaxing feel good movie, too.
Are you an arts-and-crafts person? If so, what types of art/craft do you enjoy?
I try SO HARD to be lol. So far during quarantine I’ve tried crochet, I’ve tried making string bracelets as if it was 2005 and I was in 8th grade again but I forgot how to make them and my brain refuses to re-learn its too full of music, nursing school, and data now. I tried coloring and lost patience. I have been working on a Quarantine Photo-Journal. Every day I post a tiny update and a few pictures (mostly memes since i cant leave the house and several Data photos lolololol) but my printer isn’t working right all of a sudden so I can’t print out any new pictures which I guess that one project I was really enjoying is out the window.
Do you have any planned projects to work on during self-isolation? If you’ve started any and you’re willing, share a photo of what you’re working on!
Here’s a pic of page like 3 or something lol
If you had to recommend an art or craft for people to get into, what would you recommend and why?
Man. Just do what makes you happy. I saw someone on TikTok making GIANT ass Worms on Strings and honestly. Pure genius.
What are your favorite YouTube channels? Why do you like them?
Achievement Hunter. Rooster Teeth. Markiplier. They make the funny. Various ASMR channels. They make the sleep.
What is the weirdest YouTube video you’ve ever watched?
Conspiracy Theory videos probably. I don’t really know.
Recommend a book or book series to read!
Across the Universe trilogy by Beth Revis read it and fangirl with me I am so alone.
Are there any books that you’ve read multiple times? If you could re-read a book that you loved as if it were the very first time, what book would you choose?
The Islander by Cynthia Rylant. I don’t know why but the first time I read it it just transported me into the middle of it and it was amazing (I was like 11) and it was so mysterious and everything. I’d like to read that one like the first time. Also Living Hell by Catherine Jinks did a similar thing
What’s your favorite book genre? Why do you enjoy it?
Science Fiction. Because I like science. and Fiction and space and robots and things.
If you were to write a fanfiction about your own life, how would it go?
LOL The tags would be like : #depression #anxiety #ptsd #childhood abuse #adulthood abuse #i miss having sex but at least i dont wanna die #except i still do #twsuicideideation #badluck #dontread lol
What’s the best fanfiction that you’ve ever read (or the top three if you can’t choose just one )? What about it made an impression on you?
My brain hurts too much to pick a top three but I will say I am currently reading May I by @ladyfogg and it’s been giving me the squishy feels and I am loving it and ya’ll should read it. Her OC is relatable and also inspiring and I think at this point I don’t need to mention Data anymore. (But I did).
Do you listen to podcasts? What kind of podcasts do you listen to?
Off Topic podcast and used to listen to RT podcast when Burnie was still on. IDK what kind of podcast that is other than ‘usually wild’
If you could make your own podcast, what would it be about and who would you invite to make a guest appearance?
It would be about anything and everything. I’d invite anyone for an appearance lol
Are you addicted to Animal Crossing: New Horizons? If yes, what’s your favorite thing about it so far?
Yes. My favorite thing has to be CUBE. CUBE I LOVE CUBE. I WOULD DIE FOR CUBE.
If you had to recommend ONE video game, what would it be and why?
Cube. I mean, Animal Crossing.
Have you tried any new recipes lately? If yes (and if they were good), share it with the class! I’m sure everyone is as bored with the same old foods as I am by this point.
I am too lazy to cook even when I want to so I always end up getting take out or delivery.
What is your favorite website to waste time on? (Is it, perhaps, tumblr?)
Tumbebells. (Tumblr yes)
How are you finding ways to stay connected with your friends and family? From video calling to playing online games, what would you say has worked the best for you?
Nothing. I’m sitting here wallowing in deep loneliness and it’s killing me. It’s just my grandma and my cat and that’s why I can’t go out or work (I am a Patient Care Associate and I know the hospitals could use help but my grandma is 83 years old and it’s too high of a risk for her for me to be working in a hospital and coming home from there).
If you have pets, first of all share some photos! Second, how have you been spending your time with them?
LOLA. L-O-L-A LOLA. LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LOLA
She doesn’t leave me alone. Her new trick has been LAUNCHING her 7lb body on to my back while I’m standing and pretending she’s my goddamn backpack. And earlier today she decided to pull the socks out of my sock drawer. Because she loves me.
Share your general quarantine experience so far. How are you handling it?
Bad. I often forget to take my meds, we’ve been on “spring break” from nursing school this week so I have 0 sense of time and no routine and I’ve sometimes been going to bed at 4am, sometimes 4pm, sleeping until like 9-11 regardless and I spend 95% of the day in bed. I can’t be bothered to change, sometimes can’t be bothered to really eat, and I care 0% about showering and Doing Anything. lol
I mean it’s been great guys. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba I’m lovin’ it!
I did somehow loose 2lbs without trying tho. That’s a total of 7.8lbs lost since March. Only 125 more to go BUT THE GYM IS CLOSED AND IT HAS BEEN COLD AND RAINING.
I’ll shut up.
I tag @lyrslair, @ladyfogg @datalaur and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it even tho its really long and I fucked up the layout so instead of 25 questions they’re ALL NUMBER 1. lol
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Void
Pairing: Chris and original character
Summary: After Chris’ big movies Knives Out and Endgame, his long term partner Natalia finds herself lost. Chris and Natalia seem to have lost connection and they find themselves eager to fill the void between them.
Pronouns:
Natalie: she/hers
Chris: he/him
The smell of coffee and lavender lingered in the air, Natalia had bought a couple new candles that she had seen through a stores shiny windows. Natalia had been walking from her art class which was located downtown in Boston. She often discovered herself lingering after classes, walking and looking. Frequently at objects of great value to which she couldn’t afford. Of course she could use her partners money, but it didn’t seem right. He had worked so hard, it was like stealing to Natalia. Lily’s Candle Shop, stuck out to Natalia. Through the shiny glass, she had seen many candles as well as tea and coffee. Signs plastered on the exterior of the shop stated that the products were locally made, and that there was a sale. She had stopped to wonder if she should cave from her impulses. The products were local, what could do any harm? Plus no one can run from a sale. Natalia walked out that day with two bags full of coffee and candles. She was very straight forward, and never liked running super low on anything.
Now the candles shone in her and Chris’ home. Their house was very welcoming, blankets scattered the floor, books were filled in a tall wooden bookcase, there were a few plants, and their home was very neat. Well except for Natalia’s work. Art was her passion, she wasn’t really doing anything but Natalia loved to create. Her works rested on desk Chris had helped set up a few weeks ago. Natalia remembered the faint swearing every few minutes, it was nice to know someone cared about what she did and her in general.
Chris had been very busy, Natalia discovered the quiet of their home they had created together. She missed the television on random channels, dodger barking, his laugh, or how he snuck up on Natalia working. Commenting on the colors or how she had arranged the piece. Which really meant he wanted attention, which ended up in him sitting by her and telling any random story. Natalia missed the presence of him. Chris’ recent projects included Endgame, which Natalia adored, and Knives out which he was currently working on. Natalia knew the cast, she was a big movie fan herself. She loved Chris’ acting and she loved how he loved his job. Natalia wouldn’t stand in the way of his career, but it was hard sometimes. Not being able to text as often, or call.
Natalia sat in the present, trying to get out of her head. Her hands held a warm mug, as she painted a page in a sketchbook. Today felt like a watercolor mood, Natalia loved painting flowers. The brush flew across the page, as her body sat still. Her hair tied in a bun as her mind focused on the present. It was something new she had learned, from Chris of course. It was called, silencing the noise.
Chris was set to come home today, he didn’t text much the night before. Natalia assumed he would take a taxi. They had been so distant lately, Natalia hoped it was her mind noise. It was so hard to ignore. She decided to take a break from her new project. Moving from her desk to the kitchen table. As she sat down, the door opened to a faint smile and a loud “hello”.
Chris looked tired, but stunning as usual. Natalia understood how he felt. Chris placed his suitcases down in relief, Natalia reached out on her tiptoes quickly embracing him. Her brunette hair nestled in the small of his neck, his arms tightly around her waist. Chris’ head fell into her neck, and he let out a small breath.
“It’s so good to see you.”
“You look so tired, are you hungry do you need anything?” Natalia wanted to pull away, she was worried about him. Chris’ arms quickly pulled her back.
“Don’t worry about me,” he smiled, “I’m happy.”
For a few minutes they enjoyed the presence of each other. Once again the quiet returned, but not in the way each of them had previously grown familiar to it. This time there was something else rather than quiet, the static noise just became Chris’ humming, as he swung Natalia back and forth. Chris’ twirled Natalia, as she returned the favor.
His suitcase rested in the living room for now. Chris’ felt so relieved to be home. It was something he couldn’t explain, there were so many good memories here. He wanted to cherish them forever. Natalia looked so beautiful, he thought, her eyes still the same brown he had remembered. Chris’ could look into them forever. His eyes however, drifted off onto Natalia’s desk. It was seconds before he marched off to see what she had created, Natalia running behind him. Her hands fidgeted and her heart barely could keep moving. His blue eyes examined each page with great detail. She loved how he actually cared because he liked the pieces, or at least seemed to be interested in them. Natalia bit her fingernail.
“What do you think?” she asked.
His strong hands placed the paper gently on top of the desk. The blue of his eyes met the brown of hers.
“These are amazing!”
“Really?” she smiled.
“I could sell them for you if you want?” Chris softly implied.
“No it’s okay I’m actually doing an art show in a couple weeks, gotta get as many pieces completed as I can.” a light smiled filled her face. “How was your filming?”
Chris’ eyes rolled
“What, am I not allowed to know about your trip!?”
“I don’t really want to talk about it.”
This time their eye contact broke, Chris sat down by the island on a high chair. Everything was escalating so quickly. Natalia thought that maybe she should’ve talked to him about this before. Instead of one little argument, she would have to deal with a huge outburst of emotion. Natalia couldn’t handle confrontation of emotions, not even her emotions. She stood, hands by her side. It broke her heart she got into arguments with Chris. They made each other so happy, she hated seeing them feel sudden hatred.
“Why do you do this every time?”
“Maybe because I do this for a living every single day of my life!” Chris snapped.
His voice was loud, upfront, strong. It had come from a very conflicted place within, that scared Natalia. But she had to deal with it, Natalia knew she had to deal with whatever was going on. Relationships ended because of miscommunication, and she didn’t want to lose him. She didn’t want to lose coffee and pancakes in the morning, cable knit sweaters, his hugs, or his stupid songs that they always seemed to dance to.
“Well I love hearing about your life too! Is that so much to ask?”
Chris’ knew Natalia was right on this one. There was a moment of silence.
“Yes because you don’t understand how hard it is, to have the paparazzi follow you around everyday, or to get asked if I work out instead of my movies. Or when you have to film half the day and eat stupid buttery cookies that despite being delicious, make you want to throw up because you’ve had so many.”
His eyes looked guilty, he had just dropped the bomb. They didn’t know of what yet, or why this fight was even happening. It wasn’t even really a fight. They both were very guilty. Chris’ hands fell into his lap, his jaw clenched up. Veins popped out, teeth grinding together. Natalia looked at the floor, which she had practically memorized now. The lines and patterns, were too familiar after only few seconds. They couldn’t stand to look at each other, maybe they never would.
“Chris, I love you” it had almost been an eternity since they had confessed. Maybe this is what made relationships special, true relationships. Despite what happened, there would always been love, as much as they couldn’t stand each other right now. It had hit Chris’ hard, his eyes softened. Natalia had never said it in such a direct way. It was always a silly ‘I love you’ or one before bed. He was guilty he had forced a serious tone. “I’m sorry if you want a girlfriend who is so tight with Hollywood.” They giggled at ‘tight’. “Sometimes when your actor friends come over I seem so out of place, and they’re very nice but it’s like I can’t connect with them, it’s also because I truly care. I love movies, and I love you, I want to know what’s happening, I want to know the funny things that happen on set. I’ve never told you this before but I’m a huge movie nerd, that absolutely, deeply, loves you”
His hand reached towards hers, she stepped closer and their fingers laced together. Natalia was still filled with rage, as well as Chris, but they couldn’t hate each other forever. Maybe they understood what Natalia had meant. Chris took a deep breath again, exhaling like right before a confession.
“Natalia, first off my actor friends love you. They can never stop asking when you’ll come on set, or to a premiere. You’ve just never seemed interested, or when I ask you’re busy with art, which is fair. I love you, Natalia. I don’t want you to be another movie star, I want you to be that cute artist I met at the coffee shop. The one standing on the step stool, painting the menu, almost falling as she rushed to get an order. The one who I now know, knew me, but pretended not to.”
“In my defense,” Natalia interrupted, “I have manners and I know celebrities are real people, also I was working.”
They laughed glancing at each other. Natalia’s dimples had reappeared, and Chris’ infectious smile had come back.
“To continue,” he did some hand motions, which always cracked Natalia up. “You’re right I should tell you more, you always tell me so much about what you do and what’s going on. I’ve been very distant lately and I’m sorry. I guess I just wish that I could live your life. You can walk around with no one bothering you. You can get a coffee without everyone snapping pictures with that fucking bright flash.”
This time Natalia pulled a high chair from the island, their hands still connected she softly sat.
“Maybe people should start recognizing me?” Natalia smiled. Their hands disconnected, Natalia brushed Chris’ cheek.
“The Knives Out Premiere is next month, I made sure it didn’t interfere with your art.”
They both smiled.
#chrisevans#chris evans#chris evans fanfiction#fanfiction#marvel fanfiction#writing#chris#knivesout#fanfic
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shawn meets... | bella
SUMMARY: in the life of a rockstar, shawn mendes comes across some unique people. sometimes, things stray from the norm. (AU, shawn x every one of my oc’s)
AN: hiiii this is somewhat of a continuation of my last series, goth gf. you dont HAVE to read it to know what's happening here, but there will be references to it every so often. if you've been here since the goth gf days then, hi. i appreciate you. enjoy this shit. let me know ur thots.
****let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!
bella's origin story | bella's playlist | masterlist
It felt awfully strange to be in Annalise's hometown, knowing she wouldn't be going home right away. The residential part of North Hollywood where her parents lived still felt like it was a million miles away. The glamorous Lyft Lux was going through the equally glamorous parts of the city, and it was almost mundane despite the fact that she had been away for over a year.
Shawn and his younger sister, Aaliyah, were frequently pointing out the exciting things they had only seen in photos and movies: the Chinese Theater, the Walk of Fame, the Hollywood sign. They were bundles of energy and excitement. Annalise was only jittery because she never fully processed that she lives in the same city as her favorite YouTuber, Bella Santiago.
Over a month ago, Bella discovered the Shawn Mendes profile on Spotify, causing her to give him a shoutout on Twitter. Then, just after the release of his newest EP, In My Blood, Bella messaged Shawn, offering to fly him out to LA, put him in a hotel and make a video with her. Shawn immediately jumped at the chance, but he couldn't go without bringing two of the biggest Bella stans he knew, Annalise and Aaliyah. The only reason why it took until the New Year for this to happen was simple: exams and Christmas.
When the semester ended, Annalise spent the holidays and her 22nd birthday with Shawn's family in Pickering, much to her own family's disdain. It was different, celebrating Christmas on the morning of the 25th, rather than the 24th. It was also different not eating tamales or pozole like she did with her family. It totally wasn't annoying when Shawn blasted that god awful Taylor Swift song on the morning of Annalise's birthday. She totally didn't miss her family either.
She had to promise her parents that she would stay in LA for the duration of the holiday break in return for missing all the important holidays. It wasn't a hard decision to make, but it was going to be hard letting Shawn go. Annalise only hoped that there would be time for him to meet her extended family during this trip. From what she understood, as soon as Bella was done with him, Shawn and Aaliyah were getting on a plane straight back to Toronto.
As it turns out, Bella Santiago is insanely generous. She reserved the three of them a deluxe suite at the Marriott. They had a view of the city, a massive king size bed, and a pull out sofa bed. Everything was spotless, and luxurious.
"She didn't have to go this hard," Aaliyah pointed out as she tossed her suitcase to the side.
"What, would you rather sleep on the floor?" Shawn teased. "And pick that up and move it so it's out of the way!"
She rolled her eyes as she did what he said.
Annalise made herself comfortable on top of the white sheets. While all of this was exciting, she was fucking exhausted. It felt like it was much later in the day, having gotten up at seven. The time change made it feel like it was well in the afternoon, but it was barely eleven.
"How's your tummy?" Shawn asked from the window. He had his phone out and was taking photos of the view.
"Much better," she replied.
Against her better judgment, Annalise had a coffee during the five hour flight, and it did not agree with her. She made good friends with a barf bag… or three. All the caffeine must have left her system if she was feeling better now.
"What time do we meet Bella?" asked Aaliyah, padding over to stand by her brother.
"Three o'clock," Shawn replied. "In the ballroom downstairs."
That prompted all three of them to take a death nap for the time being. It only lasted about three hours, and when their alarms went off, none of them felt any more rested.
Annalise was the first one to actually get up and get ready. For once, she was intimidated by who she was going to be standing in front of today. She had to look her best, even if it was in all black.
It didn't take long for Aaliyah to follow suit. Soon enough, both girls were sitting in front of the window, using the California sun for their light as they did their makeup.
The funny thing is, as much as they cared about looking their best, neither of them were going to be in Bella's video. She only wanted Shawn, who was still lying in bed half an hour before the scheduled meet up.
"What are you gonna wear?" Annalise asked her boyfriend.
"I don't know," he replied, his voice muffled by the pillow. "Will she even care about what I'm wearing?"
"You're gonna be on her channel," Aaliyah said, looking up from her handheld mirror, "which has millions of viewers, including some of my friends who will never let me hear the end of it if they see my brother looking like a clown in front of the queen!"
Shawn grinned and got up. "I'll go like this, what do you think?" He held his arms out, showcasing his plaid pajama bottoms and a Nike hoodie. He also only had one sock on.
"You'll be dead before you step out of the room like that," Ann darkly added.
“Thanks Satan.” He chuckled.
Shawn was only pretending to be calm. Inside, he was shaking and his insides were heavy. He didn't even think about Bella's subscriber count until Aaliyah pointed it out. He really wanted Bella to like him too. She seemed like such a sweetheart from her videos, Shawn hoped that wasn't just a persona.
He had spent most of the flight watching her videos (when Ann wasn’t puking up her caffeine, of course.) He made it through a few tutorials, learning a lot about not only makeup, but Bella herself. She suffers from several anxiety disorders and constantly works to better herself. She left her parents when she came out to them as bisexual, and she hasn't spoke to them or her extended family in years. She recently got out of a relationship with another YouTuber named Ethan Nestor, which was part of the reason why she spent half of 2019 in her hometown of Palm Springs. This woman has some thick skin, there was no denying that.
One of the best things that Shawn learned about Bella was that she had a butterfly tattoo on her left arm. In another video, she talked about how her viewers drew butterflies on their arms in support of her when she was down. She got it tattooed for them, and the colors of the wings were the same as the bisexual pride flag. Shawn looked at his own butterfly tattoo differently now.
The other best thing he learned was how talented of a singer Bella was. She had covers on her channel, and Shawn watched every single one. Bella had such a rich, beautiful voice, and it looked so easy for her to hit any high note. She sang Love on the Brain without any strain on her face. She sang a gayer version of You Belong with Me, and played guitar with it. She sang with Markiplier as the opening act when they were on a comedy show tour in 2018.
Shawn couldn't wait to sing with her, though he was intimidated. He thought he was a good singer, but put him next to someone with Ariana Grande levels of talent? The nerves were never ending.
It was ten til three when everyone was ready. Their only predicament was to go down to the ballroom early or not.
“Did she text you?” Aaliyah asked, clearly antsy. “Is she on her way or anything?”
Shawn shook his head. He had changed into a white tee, black jeans and a denim jacket, which the two girls approved of. “Should I message her? Or… her manager? She’s the one who made all these arrangements.”
“Hey, she might not even be here on time,” Ann said. “YouTubers are like celebrities. They run on their own schedules just because they can.”
“Bella wouldn’t do that, would she?” Aaliyah said in disbelief.
“Only one way to find out.”
And to the ballroom they went. The space was huge, clearly meant for a party. There were sheer white curtains hanging from the huge windows, and a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. In the far corner of the room, tables and chairs were folded and leaning against the wall. Shawn, Aaliyah, and Ann looked around the room, all silently nervous and excited. Only a few minutes into it, they heard female voices just outside the room.
“But we’re always early! I knew I should have driven myself!”
“It’s two fifty-nine! Relax, they’re probably not even here yet!”
“Huh, I’ll be damned,” Ann mumbled, looking at her phone to verify the time.
The owners of the other two voices entered the room, carrying expensive-looking camera equipment and studio lights. They were followed by a bellhop, who was carrying a keyboard in a case. One woman was short and curvy, brown and freckled. Her short black hair was curly and glossed down, and she was wearing a bright red pantsuit.
The other woman was long and lean, decked out in a white long sleeve crop top, a black skirt, and knee high boots. Her iconic bright pink hair made a comeback, that wasn’t in her latest video. Her kind face looked airbrushed and flawless, although her brown eyes looked alarmed, like she was caught in headlights.
The first person to break the silence was the woman in red, already establishing her power. “Hello!” She held her hand out to Shawn. “I’m Sonji, I’m Bella’s manager. I believe we spoke on the phone. And on Twitter.”
“Yeah, yeah we did,” he said as they shook hands. “Uh, this Aaliyah and Ann, my sister and my girlfriend.”
“Hi, ladies!” Sonji greeted, shaking their hands as well. “So lovely to meet you! God, you’re all so pretty!”
Both girls mumbled shy thank you’s.
“Okay, so my handsome friend here and myself are going to set things up for the video,” Sonji explained. “In the meantime-” She looked at her silent client. “-Baller, come talk to your little protégé.”
Then, Sonji led the bellhop further into the room, over by the windows.
Bella still had a bag slung over her shoulder and a massive studio light stand in her hands. She was clutching it to her chest, a very performative and awkward smile etched on her bright pink lips.
“Hi!” she said after one very long second. “Uh - lemme -” She set down the giant lights and removed the bag from her shoulder. Then she stood up straight and smoothed out her hair. “Hi! Uh, I said that already!”
“I’ll say it again! Hi!” Shawn greeted, smiling politely.
Bella looked at him and opened her arms for a hug. “It’s nice to finally meet you!”
It might be weird to put it this way, but she smelled pretty. Whatever perfume she was wearing was probably more expensive than the flight over here. Shawn hugged her around her shoulders, inadvertently touching her surprisingly soft hair. You could just tell that she didn’t spare a single penny when it came to caring for herself.
“Wow, I wasn’t expecting you to be so tall!” she said, looking up at Shawn. “For once, I’m not the tallest person in the room!”
She couldn’t have been taller than Ann, who was five foot five inches and felt very short most of the time.
“And this is the sister and the girlfriend?” Bella said, turning to the other two girls. She went to hug Aaliyah, who was more than delighted by the gesture.
Bella leaned back and took her hand. “I love your nails! Love the shape and color!” She ran her thumb over the white acrylics. “So cute!”
“Aw, thank you!” Aaliyah was beaming.
Then, Bella turned to hug Ann. It’s important to point out that in most situations, Annalise Flores is stone faced, calm, and collected. Today, however, Ann had wide eyes, like she was face the good Lord herself… like she was going to drop down on one knee and propose to Bella.
Shawn wouldn’t blame her.
“Me encanta su delineador!” Bella told her, gently cupping her face.
“En serio?” Ann softly asked.
“Yes, que linda! Those inner wings are to die for! What do you use?”
“Um.. uh, I think it’s NYX? I don’t know the exact one, but it’s definitely NYX!” Ann chuckled nervously.
“Well, it looks amazing!”
Ann looked like she was going to faint with that euphoric dazed look on her face. Thankfully, she stayed on both feet because Sonji grabbed their attention. She managed to sneak by Bella, take the lights and bag, and set them all up by the window. She also set up the keyboard, camera and two chairs. There were three other chairs behind the camera as well. Sonji was incredibly fast.
“We are all ready to go!” she said to the others.
“Shall we?” Bella gestured for the other three to go first.
Shawn, Ann, and Aaliyah went over to the set up, excitement only increasing from here.
"Were you two going to be in the video too?" Sonji asked the two girls.
They both shook their heads.
"Nervous? Don't blame you, the Internet is brutal."
That didn't help Shawn's bundle of nerves. He took a silent deep breath as he went for his guitar case while Bella sat in front of her keyboard. The Internet is brutal, and Shawn's own minuscule corner of it was safe solely because of the size. The fans he tweeted every so often were seemingly normal, and no one was overly critical about him or his music. More exposure means more space for criticism and plain old hate.
Bella had over five million subscribers, and at least forty thousand of them took an interest in Shawn over the last month and a half. It was a lot of new people to make a good impression to. He took another deep breath and removed the guitar from its case. There's no going back now.
"So, I don't want this to be a structured, planned out video," Bella explained when Shawn took the empty chair next to her. "I just want us to talk so my viewers can get to know you, and we'll sing whatever comes to mind."
"Sounds good," Shawn said, not really hearing himself.
"Now everybody - and I mean everybody - take in a deep breath."
The room was silent except for the sounds of everyone inhaling through their noses. Aaliyah and Ann still looked excited as they followed Bella's instruction. Sonji followed as well, like she had done this a thousand times.
"And exhale," Bella breathed out, and the others repeated. "Good. Get those nerves out, breathe away the anxiety. This is fun, we're having fun."
Shawn felt a little better, knowing she was just as nervous, if not more. Throughout all of Bella's mental health videos that he watched on the plane, none of them seemed to touch on how severe her own case was.
Finally, Bella addressed the camera, her soft voice suddenly projected. "Hey, it's Bella! Welcome back to my channel! Today, I'm here with a very special guest! Some of you saw me tweet a while ago…"
Oh god, what the fuck was Shawn going to say? He looked over at Ann, who smiled reassuringly and silently did the motions for deep breathing. Stay calm. You're a strong guy.
"So how long have you been making music?" Bella asked him as she mindlessly pressed keys on her keyboard.
Shawn recalled as best he could. "Uh, I sang covers when I was fifteen. Didn't make my own music until a few years later."
"Nice! Are you in school, or work or something?"
"Yeah, I'm in college. I'm majoring in music and botany."
"Oh, you like plants?"
Shawn was mildly impressed. Most people had to ask what botany is, and he would have to explain for the thousandth time. Then, he would be told to drop the music major because it's easier to find a job in plant science.
"Flowers," he clarified. "I work in a flower shop."
"That's so cool!"
The conversation got easier as time went on. Sometimes Aaliyah or Ann would chime in if they felt that Shawn was getting too confident. Bella giggled every so often, which made everyone in the room adore her even more.
Shawn was about ready to propose when Bella started playing Mercy on her keyboard and humming the beginning. He stared at her in shock for a few seconds before he played along on guitar. Hopefully that didn't look too embarrassing on camera. He listened to her voice for a moment before singing with her in the chorus.
He had plenty of questions for Bella after they went through that song. "Where did you get a voice like that?"
"I could carry a tune as a kid," she explained, "so I was put into singing classes to hone it. Then I did church choir, school choir… I just never really stopped singing." She paused and then chuckled nervously. "This is gonna sound pretentious, but I think I got this voice for a reason. Meaning, I have this platform and all these followers. I think I'm meant to use my voice for good. Help people in whatever way I can."
Shawn smiled. "That's beautiful. I see that in your videos. I kinda went on a binge on the plane."
Bella grinned.
"One thing that stood out to me…" Shawn hesitated, minding the camera and the future viewers of this video. "You are so unapologetically bisexual. You always make the point to the person you needed as a kid, because there is still so little bi representation in the media. And you decided, if no one's going to do it, then you'll do it yourself, and I think that's incredible."
"Yeah, I didn't have anyone telling me it's okay to feel what I feel, and I don't want anyone to go through what I went through as a teen."
Shawn nodded, glancing over at Ann once. He had talked about touching on this particular topic with her, and he was starting to have his own shred of doubt.
But, he learned from his girlfriend. Fuck it.
"I wish I had someone like you as a teenager," he said to Bella, strumming his guitar. "I mean, when I came out to my family, I was lucky. They were loving and accepting, but I still couldn't find anyone out there who was like me, in real life or in the media. I really wish I had found your videos sooner."
Bella was beaming. "I knew I liked you."
The two of them went back and forth between talking and singing. They compared butterfly tattoos, and then Bella was asking him about his other tats. Shawn learned a couple of Little Mix songs too, which led him to discover where his girlfriend got that fixation from. He was mostly amazed at how Bella was able to belt out song after song like it was nothing. Like she was meant for this. Why did she choose to be a makeup artist?
"Have you ever been offered a record deal?" Shawn asked. "Or thought about making your own music?"
"Mm, yes and yes," she said. "But singing is more of a hobby. I can't see myself delving into the music industry at all. Makeup is where it's at for me. Makeup got me through some of the hardest times in my life."
Shawn wouldn't say no to a record deal. He'd move to Los Angeles tomorrow if he could. He would do just about anything to play music full time. He glanced over at Ann again, who winked with a smile.
next chapter
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taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @justordinaryjen @chillingbythesea @iloveshawnieboi @shawnsunflower @someoneunimportantxx
#shawn mendes#shawn mendes fanfic#shawn mendes imagine#shawn mendes blurb#shawn mendes smut#shawn x oc#shawn meets fic#ok ok ok so theres 5 oc's total#bella is just the first n i lov her lil nervous ass sm#i wanted to bring her back for somethin like this bc i missed her n her story#and sonji is actually god herself yes its true#this wont be the last you see of either of them#if anyone wants to know more abt bella pls shoot me an ask!#next chapter is gonna be a doozy
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An Interview with John Lurie
Whilst most humanoids struggle to master even one useful skill in life, John Lurie is one of those adept rapscallions who can seemingly turn their hand to pretty much anything — from acting to angling.
This knack has led to a fairly stacked C.V. which involves such notable achievements as forming a rule-flouting jazz band called The Lounge Lizards, appearing in films like Down by Law, Paris, Texas and Wild at Heart and showing his paintings in exhibitions all over the planet.
And if all that wasn’t enough, he’s also hosted his own fishing show, and, with the help of Dennis Hopper, once came particularly close to snagging the elusive giant squid.
Here’s what he had to say about fishing, New York in the '70s and the importance of humour in the world...
First question… your television programme Fishing with John is mint. How did that come about?
I was threatening to do it for a long time, but wasn’t really serious. I would go fishing with Willem and we would video tape it. I flew out one New Year’s Eve to play with Tom Waits and the next day we went and fished with Stephen Torton video taping it.
This woman, Debra Brown, saw the tapes, home movies actually, and brought them to a Japanese company that was looking to get involved in things in New York.
She came back to me and said they wanted to make a pilot. I believe my response was, "Are you kidding?"
When you watch a film or television program, you only see the end result. What was it like filming that thing? Were there any mad struggles?
If you see something good, you can just assume there were mad struggles. If you see something bad, you can assume that people were too lazy to take on the mad struggles.
If I am flicking through the channels looking for a movie, I can tell you in five seconds if a movie is going to be any good by the sound of the door closing or the light or the music or whatever.
Why do you think people love fishing so much?
First off, so we can go to these beautiful places and pretend to be doing something. We wouldn’t go if there were nothing to do. And there is that visceral thing. A big fish on the line is like that exhilarating sports thing, like hitting a baseball perfectly or shooting a basket and the net just goes swish.
And then there is that thing of the world of mystery, right next to the world we are living in. What is in there? We are only going to be aware of what is there with a hook and a nylon string.
So of course we have to drag this amazing creature out of the water and kill it because human beings are pretty much ridiculous. The last bit is not why we love fishing, it’s just an observation.
I’d say it’s a pretty sharp observation. Did you ever face anger from the fishing community due to the lack of more conventional fishing?
Yes.
Why isn’t more television like Fishing with John? I hear we’re supposedly in the age of ‘peak TV’ or whatever, but why is there so much boring stuff out there?
The great thing about this, and a big shout out to Kenji Okabe from Telecom Japan, was they left me alone. I am fairly certain that the reason Breaking Bad was so great was because they left Vince Gilligan alone.
With most projects there are all these people meddling with what you do, to ruin it. The Gatekeepers. It is almost like there is a conspiracy to maintain mediocrity.
Going back a bit now, am I right in saying you’re from Minneapolis originally. What were you into as a child?
At first, dinosaurs and archeology. Then reptiles, particularly snakes after we moved to New Orleans. I was going to open my own snake farm. Then I was pretty sure one day, I would play center field for the Yankees.
An attainable dream. You moved to New York in the late 70s, and not long after, you started The Lounge Lizards. It seems like New York at that time is glamourized a bit now, but what was it like for you? What food did you eat? Where did you go at night? What streets were good to walk down? What did it smell like?
I was trying to remember the food I ate back then and couldn’t remember. I was pretty broke most of the time. They used to serve hors d’oevres at gallery openings and cheese became a large part of my regular diet.
Almost every night, or maybe not even “almost” — more like every night — we went to the Mudd Club. More than what streets were “good” to walk down, I can tell you which streets were bad to go down. I lived on East Third St across from the Men’s Shelter, so my block smelled of rotting garbage and urine.
What are some bits that people don’t talk about from that time? What sucked about back then?
It went fairly quickly from people having more relentless fun than any period in human history to a fairly grim time, a year or two later. There was the beginning of AIDs. I had many friends who were dying or horrifyingly sick. People were getting strung out. There were many deaths. Car accidents. People fell out of windows.
Also, with the artistic promise that was there, the output is disappointing. I suppose the wildness led to a lack of discipline and the work wasn’t nearly as good as it should have been.
I might be wrong, but it seems like at that time people just did what they felt like doing… people made films, music or anything else, with no regard for budget. I suppose for example, you made a film called Men in Orbit in your apartment for $500. Where did this freedom come from?
The freedom came from a ferocious demand to have that freedom at any cost. But it is odd or sad, because the more talented of those people seem to have gone unknown and the people who are now household names are, mostly, the ones who played the game by the rules from the beginning.
Do you think people nowadays get too hung up on money? Or perhaps too hung up on success?
I think people nowadays for the most part are quite lost and afraid. So they do whatever they think they must do to have a successful career, even if it means that they are making shit — and it usually does mean they are making shit.
The Lounge Lizard’s album, Voice of Chunk is an amazing record. What sort of stuff were you listening to when you made that? And who is Bob the Bob?
The listening came from earlier in my life. Evan and I would devour everything. From Stravinsky to Monk to Little Walter to Coltrane to Tibetan music to Ellington to Dolphy to Pigmy music (you get the idea).
Later, when working on my own stuff, I stopped listening to pretty much everything. Though when I was in Morocco doing Last Temptation, I played a lot with Gnawa musicians that shifted me a bit. And around that time Evan discovered Piazzolla.
Bob the Bob is Kazu from Blonde Redhead. That is her mouth on the cover of the record. I still call her Bob.
You’re a prolific painter. Are there certain things that you notice recurring in your paintings?
I live on a small Caribbean island. There are flowers everywhere. I don’t like to think that they influence what I paint but they do. Fucking flowers.
A lot of people paint when they’re young, then stop. Why do you think that is? How come you didn’t stop?
The best paintings I have seen in the last 30 years or so are the ones taped to refrigerators. I don’t know why people stop painting or when they don't stop, why the painting gets so stiff.
I am sure my mother, who painted herself and taught art in Liverpool where the Beatles went, but not at the same time, had something to do with me keeping a freedom in my work. To not be afraid of that childlike dream thing.
Though it has been suggested that it may be time for me to get in touch with my “inner adult.”
How do you know when a painting is finished?
I ask Nesrin. If she says it is finished, I know it isn’t.
You seem like a pretty funny guy. Do you think humour is sometimes underrated? Do people take stuff too seriously sometime?
I think humor is immensely important. I think humor can shift society’s consciousness in a better way than almost anything else. So from Shakespeare to Mark Twain to Lenny Bruce to Richard Pryor and many more - these people shifted things for the better.
Do you know who was president when Mark Twain was at his peak? Benjamin Harrison. Who the fuck was Benjamin Harrison?
What are your thoughts on the internet? It seems like it’s a big thing these days.
I get so disappointed with people because I feel like social media could be an enormously positive thing for the world. And I certainly don’t mean to exclude humor, just I have heard enough fart jokes for one lifetime…
Something that bothers me quite a bit, is a star athlete gets hurt and then the response on places like twitter is close to joy. What kind of bitterness about your own life would make you behave like that?
You’ve just recently released a new Marvin Pontiac album after 17 years. This one is called The Asylum Tapes, and was reportedly made on a four track recorder in a mental institution. Back story aside, what made you want to make an album again?
I have Advanced Lyme, so I was unable to play anything for a long time. Actually because of what was happening to me neurologically, I couldn’t even hear music for the first few years — it was more like fingernails on a blackboard.
As I slowly got better, I was able to play guitar and harmonica again, though playing saxophone would seem to be done for me in this life.
But I am very proud of this album and hope people get a chance to hear it. I made it to cheer people up.
Are people still confused about who Marvin Pontiac is?
I suppose so. He is a character I created to make this music. I suppose that is bad marketing, but fuck it.
Would the album be different if it was a John Lurie album? Do you feel like you can get away with more stuff as Marvin Pontiac? Or maybe what I mean is, is it easier to say some things as Marvin Pontiac?
Yes, absolutely. Marvin gives me a certain freedom. I doubt I would put out a record where I sing about a bear saying, “Smell my sandwich.” But I’m happy that I get a chance to do that.
The lyrics are pretty straight up and direct. Do you sit and stew on songs and ideas for long, or do you just get it out?
Often they just come straight up. Like 'My Bear To Cross' I pretty much just came up with it live in the studio. Some took quite a while. And there are a couple where I never found the right lyrics to finish off a song and put them aside.
Okay, last question… do you think a lot of stuff is too over-thought and over-prepared? Does thinking sometimes get in the way?
Let me think about that.
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Secret-Diary Recommends Some Music
I’m not exactly a ‘music person’, in that I don’t know a lot about the mechanics that underpin it: I couldn’t look at sheet music and tell you what the tune is or describe the change in chords in a classical piece. I’m not even 100% sure what the difference between a Ukulele and a Banjo is, aside from the fact that one is played by coquettish islanders while I get shit-faced on Pina Colladas in the background and the other is played by Louisiana bootleggers from the 1920s with comedy accents. All that being said, I know enough to know that the overwhelming preponderance of music produced today is total crap. Every time I’m foolish enough to tune a radio to a musical station, there’s a new barely-pubescent twatwipe peeping about their feelings in a tupperware voice that strongly suggests they don’t actually have any. Either that or its some nominally grown-ass man or woman singing something that they imagine is sassy and empowering but actually just makes them sound like Gary from World’s End- only less charming, because immature, quasi-literate manbabies are infinitely more annoying when they’re real. The point is, it’s a fucking wasteland out there. Trying to find a band (from now or the past) who you’d actually want to listen to can be a chore. That’s why, as your gracious patron and benefactor, I’ve decided to share the fruits of my musical explorations with you and hit you with some recommendations. I’ve tried to be as eclectic as possible, since I want everyone who reads this to find something they’ll like, no matter how radically divergent their individual tastes are. Some of the entries on this list are famous, some are obscure and some were famous but have been made obscure by the passage of time. I’ve tried to limit myself to people whose music you might not be fully aware of, even if you’ve heard of them to some extent, but I’m not plugged into what is and isn’t popular with peeps nowadays, so don’t read too much into my choices if they seem either too obvious or too bizarre. Here goes.
1. The Orion Experience
An ultra-camp synthesis of New Romantic music, bubble-gum pop and modern vocal stylings, The Orion Experience are unlike anything else you’ll have heard recently. They seem to borrow as much from the original Decadent tradition in art and literature as from later musical iterations, meaning that their lyrics are complex and sophisticated without being especially deep. They’re primarily concerned with building aesthetically-interesting and richly-evocative language-constructs rather than performing an emotion that no-one in the band is actually feeling. The deliberate artifice is deeply refreshing in a musical landscape of faked sincerity and forced emoting. I recommend starting with the songs The Cult of Dionysus and Sugar. If you like those, the rest of their stuff may also interest you.
2. Trace Adkins
During an attempt to write a wild west/sci-fi fusion novel, I went on a musical odyssey, looking for apposite songs that would gel well with the world I was building (knowing a world’s soundtrack can help cement that world in your imagination- try it, if you’re a writer yourself). Anyway, I stumbled across Trace Adkins- a country singer with a palpable sense of humour about being a country singer and a knack for delivering a silly-but-well-turned phrase. Also, without getting technical, his tunes just flat-out rock. I have no idea how well known he in the Country and Western World, but since his existence came as news to me, I’m sticking him on this list. Start with the surprisingly sexy Honky Tonk Badonkadonk and graduate to Hot Momma and Whoop a Man’s Ass. You’ll know if it’s your sort of thing from the first minute of any of those songs.
3. Caravan Palace
Have ye heard of a thing called Electric Swing? If you’re reading a blog post about music, you probably have, but just in case you haven’t, let me tell you it’s a fantastic genre. Imagine if The Great Gatsby owned a synth and took a fuckload of mind-squanching hallucinogens. Well, that’s Electric Swing. Few do it better than Caravan Palace, who also seem to borrow heavily from club music and other genres, adding these to their unique blend. For some pure Electric Swing, start with Susie. For something a little more modern, start with Lone Digger.
4. 11 Acorn Lane
Speaking of Electric Swing, I can also recommend 11 Acorn Lane, whose lyrics can be a little more playful than those of Caravan Palace. They also have a somewhat more classic sound. Start with Let’s Face it I’m Cute for a great sample of their work.
5. The Fratellis
Now, my UK readers have almost certainly heard of The Fratellis, since they actually got some traction on mainstream radio over here. I’m less sure about those of you reading along in America, so allow me to make an introduction. Their music is joyously and unapologetically grimy and proletarian, paring an unrivaled sense of fun and energy with a sly, low-key feeling of cynicism and detachment. The tunes and melodies evoke Rock, punk and New-Wave (think The Ramones by way of The Proclaimers) without wholly relying on any of them. Check out Chelsea Dagger or Henrietta to hear them at their most gleefully up-tempo-yet-jaded, or try Vince the Lovable Stoner for a more chill, tongue-in-cheek song.
5. Dionne Warwick
You’ve probably heard of her in connection with There’s Always Something There to Remind Me, especially since it featured heavily in that one fantastic episode of Black Mirror. However, you might not have realised just how much she’s contributed to musical history: her soft-yet-powerful voice and classic Rock rhythms and tunes combine to create something archetypal yet unique. Leap right in with Do You Know the Way to San Jose and discover a fucking legend.
6. Rufus Rex
Ever wanted to hear a freakishly talented man singing songs based on horror films and books (particularly the works of H.P. Lovecraft) in a style that evokes Goth music but defies genre on closer inspection? Then get your arse over to Rufus Rex and start plumbing the nightmarish depths of horror-music with the song World’s In Between.
7. Studio Killers
Contemporary electronic music with surprisingly inventive and weird lyrics. That about sums up Studio Killers, really. Look, not everything on this list can be genre-transcendent or epoch-defining: some things are just very good examples of the type of music they belong to. If you haven’t heard of them, start with the song Eros and Apollo then check out Ode to the Bouncer, then compare and contrast: those two songs represent the two opposite edges of the musical spectrum they cover, so if you like either one, at least some of their songs will be for you. Also, treat yourself to the music videos on Youtube: they’re surreal and awsesome.
8. Fishbone
A punky ska band from back in the day, Fishbone are on this list for one reason and one reason only: Party at Ground Zero. Party at Ground Zero is an upbeat, gloriously energetic song about nuclear war. It’s a total jam and you absolutely have to experience it for yourself.
9. Tomska
Tomska... isn’t technically a professional musician. He’s a Youtube comedian, short-film maker and collaborative animator who became internet-famous for his ‘ASDF movies’. On the off-chance that you haven’t seen them, they’re short collections of animated skits and jokes rendered in a simple but immediately-compelling and recognisable style. Anyway, Tomska decided to create fast-paced, catchy songs about some of the recurring characters in his ASDF movies, and those songs turned out to be fucking amazing- being both laugh-out-loud funny and actually really musically ambitious and well put together. Check them out on his channel. I’m particularly fond of Mine Turtles, but you do you.
10. Paul Anka
Big band and jazz musician Paul Anka once set out on a quest to create 1920s-sounding versions of famous rock ‘n’ roll songs and the results can only be described as ‘eargasmically epic’. His versions of Jump and Eye of the Tiger are, frankly, better than the originals.
Right, that’s everything I can thing of for now. I’m going to go make myself a big sandwich. By the time your read this, I’ll be settling down with two-slices of bread, some cheese and an unreasonably large amount of cranberry sauce. All the songs and bands in today’s entry are on Youtube, so go have a nosy. Until next time, peace out and fuck off!
#Secret Diary of a Fat Admirer#music#music recommendations#electro-swing#punk#big band#rock and roll#electronic#ska#songs#song recommendation
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Why Fleabag Season 2 Keeps Sticking with Me (And It's Not Just the Hot Priest)
This post is for people who have watched both seasons of Fleabag on Amazon Prime Video and contains spoilers.
If you've had a conversation with me in the past two weeks--online or in real life--I have inevitably brought up Fleabag. This elicits one of two responses:
"Uh, Fleabag? What is that? Sounds gross."
"OMG FLEABAG!!!"
For the latter camp, there's an immediate bond in the knowledge that this show is something special. And while much of the attention is on Andrew Scott's Hot Priest (who is, as Claire points out, quite hot) there's something more here. Other shows have had charming actors or sharp writing or an original voice, and Fleabag is undoubtedly a rare combination of all three.
But still, there's something else.
Here are a few of my guesses on what creator Phoebe Waller-Bridge has done that's resonating so strongly with the people who love, and are in love, with this show.
1. It's about forgiveness.
When people talk about the divisiveness of today's politics and general cultural landscape, I think what they're really mourning is the loss of forgiveness. Nobody can make a mistake, and if they do, they're cast out from the conversation, from existence, almost. Everyone is on edge, scared they'll be the next to screw up, sometimes in ways they didn't even know they could.
About a year ago, I made a comment online about the NFL national anthem protests that I phrased badly. I immediately got a condescending rebuke from someone I've known for nearly 20 years. Because of this history, I asked this person to consider my comment in the context of what they know about me. The response? That what this person knew about me is that I'm a writer and I choose my words very carefully. In other words, that it was impossible I could have made a mistake. I was swiftly unfriended.
This confirmed my worst perfectionist fears: One misstep means you've messed it up for good. So the safe route? Stay hidden. Don't try. It's not worth the risk.
Season 1 of Fleabag is primarily about Fleabag's inability to forgive herself for what we discover was her role in Boo's death. To get there, she benefits from the forgiveness of others. She remembers Boo reminding her that pencils have erasers because people make mistakes. This same sentiment is echoed by the Bank Manager as he approves her loan, after earning his own forgiveness from Fleabag at the silent retreat.
In season 2, Fleabag and the Priest connect through a clear history of shared flaws. They've each tried to numb these issues through an approach to sex--she has lots of it, he chooses to have none--and ultimately, they're each looking for someone to tell them they're good people.
As funny as it is when the Priest overhears Fleabag's salacious conversation with the Hot Misogynist at the door of her apartment, and when he later opens her coat to see she's only got underwear on underneath, there's also an undercurrent of forgiveness and acceptance to the scene. A lesser script would have him walk out in judgment ("I think I've made a mistake") but he shushes her attempts to explain. He knows exactly what was happening--and he accepts her anyway, because he takes it in the context of everything else he knows about her.
2. It portrays people who are good at their jobs.
This is a less philosophical observation, but so much of modern comedy finds humor in incompetence. With Fleabag driving the show from her very specific point of view, it would be easy to portray her as smarter than everyone else, rolling her eyes at the dummies who come in and out of her life. (Think Veep.) But instead, Waller-Bridge lets Fleabag learn from people who are older, wiser, and skilled in their work.
The therapist scene starts with one of the series' funniest throwaway lines--"I have dry forearms"--but as the conversation progresses, we see she's a good therapist. Fleabag thinks she can coast her way through with jokes and psychological buzzwords, but the session ultimately helps her.
In that same vein, Fleabag's father was right to give her the voucher for the session. It's played for an awkward moment at the dinner table that he thought it was a suitable birthday present, but it was actually some good parenting, that. She was struggling, and he was brave enough to guide her toward the help she needed.
Even the Priest--our hot, hot Priest--is shown to actually be a good priest. Yes, he has alcoholic tendencies and he's, as he says, really fucking lonely, but he likes his job. In such a tightly scripted series, I've wondered why Waller-Bridge spends so many lines on the Priest going through the notices at the end of Mass. But it's to show that he's good at this, and his parishioners recognize it.
The scene in the confessional--inspirer of sexy gifs that it is--also is about him helping her acknowledge the vulnerability she's been hiding up to that point. (I'm convinced this is when he truly falls in love with her.) She hints at being burned in the past ("I tell you my secrets so you can use them to trap and control me"), but he asserts himself as someone she can trust ("You tell me what's weighing on your heart and I listen without judgment"). He's doing what the good parts of religion are supposed to do.
3. Phoebe Waller-Bridge channels a certain smart, funny American woman.
I'm talking, of course, about Brené Brown.
Yes, people have compared Waller-Bridge to Tina Fey; British GQ even had Fey interview her. But as I watched Fleabag, I got the sense I'd heard these themes before, about shame and imperfection and the courage of vulnerability to make real human connections.
Then I remembered I had just recently watched Brown's The Call to Courage on Netflix. The special summarizes the messages in her many books, particularly Daring Greatly, her 2012 breakout based on a now famous Teddy Roosevelt quote about achievement being in the willingness to fight, and not in criticizing those who try. Brown talks about the concept of "wholehearted" living, which can only happen when you're willing to be vulnerable and fail, but fail by daring greatly.
In The Call to Courage, she also explains the difference between belonging and fitting in. The latter is actually the opposite of the former, Brown says. Fitting in is changing who you are to be accepted, versus being accepted for exactly who you are. In Fleabag, we see characters consistently trying to adapt themselves in an attempt to be more like the person they think has it better.
This is perhaps most noticeable in Claire, who consistently takes on external changes that make her more like Fleabag--funky trainers, short haircut--and laments that she can be funny and interesting, too. It's no coincidence the person she ends up loving shares her name. She's finally learned to love herself.
Fleabag herself is trying to be a grown-up by exercising, eating pine nuts in her salad, and laughing with a group of people we know are not really her friends. But it's not until she opens herself up to being loved (to paraphrase the old Finnish expression) and to loving someone else, even when she stands to gain nothing from it, that she truly matures. By the final scene, she's become wholehearted.
There's been a lot of talk about how the Priest is the only person who "sees" Fleabag in his ability to notice her breaking the fourth wall. And at the wedding, he talks about how loving someone gives you hope. I think what's striking such a nerve for fans of Fleabag is that it's about the doubts and fears and imperfections we all feel inside, but never share. It feels like Waller-Bridge sees us, and that gives us hope that we're not alone.
4. The Priest is hot.
OK, OK, there's also that. What can I say? I'm not made of wood.
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Charmed
Celebrity AU featuring Bucky/ Tony with a dash of Sam/ Steve. What is this exactly? I’m not sure, but I think it came out ok :)
Bucky sits with his head in his hands and Sam is about five hundred percent tempted to throw a ketchup covered fry at him but Steve was watching so he had to be on good behavior. “I don’t know why I agreed to this...” he mumbles more to himself than Sam or Steve.
Steve gives him a gentle pat on the back because unlike Sam he’s sympathetic to Bucky’s idiocy. “I’m sure your date will be fine,” Steve tells him gently.
“He’s so hot,” Bucky whispers, staring at the ground with wide eyes.
Sam squints, “I fail to see why that’s a bad thing,” he says.
“Because, bird brain, I’m a hot mess,” Bucky says. Sam shrugs, unwilling to argue with the truth even if Steve gives him a look. It wasn’t his fault Bucky was a disaster. Steve, because he’s a better person than Sam, continues to comfort Bucky’s dumb ass and Sam decides to scroll social media because Twitter had to be more interesting than Bucky. Watching paint dry was more interesting than Bucky.
When his date finally shows up Sam just about shits while Steve gives him a disapproving look. Sam quickly drags him off while Bucky starts the most awkward conversation Sam has ever had the misfortune of witnessing because Steve needed to know. “Do you know who that is?” Sam hisses at him.
Steve looks over his shoulder to give Bucky’s date another disapproving look, “someone who’s not good enough for Bucky,” he says and Sam rolls his eyes. If he were insecure he’d worry about Steve and Bucky’s friendship but thankfully Sam had the good sense to know that he was better than Bucky in every single way so clearly Steve wouldn’t downgrade to Bucky.
“No Steve, that’s Tony Stark. You know, recently won an Oscar in that weird Peter Quill movie?” Sam wasn’t much of a Quill fan- his stuff was always weird and convoluted- like Stanley Kubrick on crack and that was saying something. But he happened to like the cast of the movie so he gave it a shot and had been pleasantly surprised.
“Who?” Steve asks, squinting.
Sam rolls his eyes at Steve’s apparent lack of culture. “Howard Stark’s son,” he says and Steve clues in for a half a second before he decides this was a reason to end Bucky’s date before it began. Sam stops him before he can go though because Bucky was a grown ass man and he could make his own decisions.
When Steve stops struggling he frowns, “wait, how do you know that?” he asks.
He shrugs, “I might be a fan,” he says casually. The guy was good and Sam thought his asshole personality was endearing. Steve, however, clearly did not.
*
Bucky laughs as Tony criticizes the movie they’re watching, poking fun at the director that he seemed to have a lot of knowledge about. “Jeeze, do you have a personal vendetta against the guy?” he asks and Tony makes an offended noise.
“Everyone should have a personal vendetta against Justin Hammer. Did you see what he almost did to Wonder Woman? I would have personally fought him if his shitty script had’ve gotten past whatever moron producer even considered that crazy sack of hair,” he says, shaking his head.
He smiles, “you’re a Wonder Woman fan?” he asks because that was adorable, really.
Tony grins, “anyone with taste is a Wonder Woman fan,” he says. “She’s like every good thing about Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne wrapped up in a way better package,” he says, nose in the air.
“Batman is my favorite character,” Bucky confesses and Tony makes another scandalized noise.
“Heathen,” he accuses.
Bucky is texting Tony, who was on a rant about the score of some movie that was surprisingly hilarious, when Sam comes swaggering up looking like he was about to shit in Bucky’s cereal. “Whatever stupid thing you have planned it isn’t going to ruin my day,” he tells Sam. Their relationship, if one could even call it that, was a strange one for sure but he was certain they both secretly enjoyed their frienemy status. At least so long as Steve wasn’t around to scold Bucky for giving Sam tide pods instead of actual food for dinner. Or removing all his shoelaces from his shoes and throwing them out. Or replacing his black cat with a slightly smaller and meaner black cat.
Point was whatever retaliation Sam had planned for his pranks they weren’t going to get to him today because Tony was great and their date went shockingly well. Usually Bucky messed things up in ten seconds flat, but Tony confessed he usually did the same thing and the result was both of them acting like a bunch of awkward freaks for an hour before they gave up being embarrassed at themselves and went to do something more productive. Like watch movies and make out.
Sam just looks more enthused though and he hands Bucky a picture, “look familiar?” he asks, walking away while he cackles.
“I’m surprised you didn’t get a broom to ride out on, Wilson,” Bucky calls after him, earning a dirty look before Bucky turns his attention to the picture Sam handed him. Bucky squints at it for a moment because that guy looked a lot like Tony, but he was holding an Oscar.
It takes him an embarrassing twenty minutes to put it all together.
All Tony wanted was one normal thing and being a celebrity that was hard. He’s been in the game since he was a kid and the last time he ran into someone that didn’t recognize him on sight when he was looking to be noticed was when he was six. Then there had been Bucky, who ran into him with his charm dialed to eleven and he didn’t even notice and better yet he didn’t seem to have any idea who Tony was.
Maybe it had been too much to ask that he could just skate by without Bucky ever figuring out he was a two time Oscar winner but a guy had hopes and dreams, okay? Plus he thought his rants about Justin Hammer were hilarious and that was the fastest way to his heart, really. But Bucky does figure it out and he looks dumbfounded.
“I can’t believe I’m eating ice cream with someone who’s hung out with Leonardo DiCaprio,” he hisses at Tony.
He sighs, “he’s not that great,” he says. If he had to hang out with a great actor there were at least five people on his list before DiCaprio.
“You have Oscars,” Bucky says.
“And not even for my best performances,” Tony agrees. How the hell Quill’s movie even got to the Oscars he had no idea but Peter was shitting several bricks. Especially when his movie won a stupid amount of them even though it was plotless nonsense. All of his stuff was weird and pointless but people kept giving him money and Tony was good enough friends with him that he took a role to be supportive. He didn’t expect a second Oscar out of it.
“That’s true, that time you played a vampire in that one teen drama-” Bucky starts but Tony cuts him off.
“We don’t talk about that time in my life, I was addicted to cocaine,” he says, only half joking about that.
Bucky seems to take it as a joke anyways and laughs. “I don’t get it though, how are people not recognizing you?” he asks.
Tony sighs, “its not... turned on, I guess is the best way to put it. My charm,” he clarifies. Bucky frowns, obviously not understanding and Tony sighs, “want to see it?” he asks. People were always so surprised when they watched it happen and Tony didn’t have words to explain the transformation.
“Sure,” Bucky says after a moment’s pause.
Tony nods and hands over his glasses, “hold those,” he says and he takes off the hat he was wearing, facing backwards because people didn’t really expect his personal aesthetic to be a cross between fuck boy and hipster styles. It was a deliberate choice on his behalf. He runs his fingers though his hair though, fluffing it a little and he takes a deep breath, channeling that charm he always had on at award shows. It never failed to get the attention of everyone around him and when he opens his eyes he knows Bucky has seen the difference too. Apparently he did notice, just not until he saw it happen.
It takes all of five seconds for someone to walk up, recognizing him on sight and he plays his part well, smiling for anyone who was watching and handing out an autograph. It happens a few more times before he decides he’s had enough of that and he drags Bucky off. “I don’t want to draw a crowd. And trust me, it happens fast,” he says, putting the hat back on his head and taking his glasses back so he could see again.
“That was... weird,” Bucky says. “You were like that when we met, I uh... just didn’t notice until now I guess,” he mumbles.
Tony nods, “you’re the first person I’ve run into who hasn’t recognized me with my charm on since I was a kid. When its off most people don’t notice, but when its on? People swarm,” he says.
“Sounds exhausting,” Bucky says.
He nods, “its is, which is why I liked you. But uh... this is my life and escape is nice but I’ll have to go back eventually,” he says, leaving his unasked question hanging in the air.
“I didn’t know I went on a date with a celebrity, I’m sure I can handle whatever else gets thrown my way,” Bucky says. “And the bonus is that this all happened just in time for Yom Kippur- my family jokes that I always have some ridiculous or outlandish thing that overshadows the holiday and this year its that I’m too dumb to notice I’m dating a famous person. If you want you can come just to witness the chaos- my family is very dramatic and this is bound to be one of the more popular Bucky Ruined Yom Kippur Again stories,” he says.
Tony raises and eyebrow, “what’s the current top contender?” he asks.
Bucky sighs, “that’s probably a tie between the time my grandma told me my depression would go away if I ate better and hung out in the sun so I sort of freaked out and did a lot of yelling about how I still had depression even though I was outside eating a banana and the time my family discovered I’m genuinely terrified of mustard. Yes, I mean the condiment and no, its not funny to chase me around with a mustard hotdog like my asshole sister,” he says.
For a moment Tony looks dumbfounded and then he bursts out laughing, “leave it to me to find someone more dramatic and ridiculous than the movies I star in. But I like you, weird mustard fear and all. And since you know about my celebrity status, want to go to Malibu with me?” he asks.
“If there’s no mustard I’m in,” Bucky says, grinning.
#alternate universe#sam x steve#tony x bucky#my wrting#fanfiction#tony stark#bucky barnes#steve rogers#sam wilson#winteriron
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Journal 5:
Open entry. Use photos, videos, to further think about global hip hop artists. Move outside of Canada and the US. Write about artists and why you think they are important for us to know about.
I explored UK underground hip hop a few years back, starting with JayKae, a young rapper from Birmingham. The first time I ever heard him was on a youtube video from JDZmedia which was published on June 20th of 2013, and I instantly got interested in researching other rappers outside of North America, because the overall sound of his music was different from what Im personally used to, the slang is different, and his accent was obviously different.
(Youtube channel ft on) JDZmedia: Jaykae-SPITFIRE
JUNE 20, 2013
youtube
... one of his later videos
(Youtube channel ft on) P110Music: Jaykae-Toothache
May 15, 2016
youtube
Now, Stomzy, Skepta, Giggs, Jme, and other UK based artists are more commonly heard on mainstream media stations in North America, and I feel like this only opened up this competitive industry to others culutures, merging not only the industries of global rap into North Ameican rap, but potentially may link our cultures, and acceptance once an for all as well.
So, recently I’ve noticed that there are a lot of upcoming artists originating specifically from China, Korea, the Phillapenes etc, and are making it into mainstream media outlets in North America. I find it really fascinating because these are places where Hip Hop isin’t the most common genre of music to practice, and in the Noisey interview (video #3) Keith Ape (discovered by Sean Miyashiro, founder of 88Rising media company), mentions how when people think of Korean music, immediately, you think of k-pop, and he wants to break out of that, and bring Korean rap here. He also mentions how North America has been very accepting and supportive of his music, like iLoveMakonnen. Which brings me to my next point, even in videos 3 & 4, all of the rappers reacting to both videos only say positive things, and even some mention how they would love to collaborate with these artists. In the first facebook video, the Higher Brothers (a Chinese rap group discovered by 88Rising too), Sean Miyashiro says, “You see a lot of people griping about, like, you know, the whitewaashing of Hollywood, and very little Asian representation in entertainment and stuff like that. And I think that our philosiphy is, the way to kind of break out of that is be really fucking good at what you do. Be undeniable. and do it yourself.” and then it hit me harder when
MaSiWei (马思唯), one of the 4 Higher Borther members answers a question about the hate on them being told that they ‘appropriate black culture’ negatively, “We learned its black culture. So, we studied from them. And now, its 2017. The world is more close. Black people watch Japanese cartoons. We listen [to] hip-hop. It’s same thing. Were more close” (5:18 Min). He explained something, I always couldn't explain because being a white female, I feel like some people are quick to take my words wrong, and sometimes simplistic explanations are the most effective, and I couldn’t have said it any better. In the second video, the best and funniest reaction is at 1:23 Min when Lil Yachty says, “And he’s going dumb, I dont know what he’s syaing, but it sounds like he’s going crazy”. I laughed really hard because of the way he said it, and his face, but he made a good point ironically, we don’t need to know what they're saying to understand that they have talent, which is why North American music is interesting to people outside of that. Maybe more people will like rap music again, and stop worrying about the “youngins” that they don’t like. It makes me happy, and its amazing that (in video 3) none of the rappers are butt hurt over “Rich Chiggas” name (he changed it to Rich Brian more recently), because they saw it as a harmless funny name, and they loved his music and looked beyond that. Rich Brian even mentions in a random interview how rap music taught him english, and who know maybe one day it will be more common to just learn other languages casually through music like these artists have.
Video #1: (Facebook link I found this video on)
https://www.facebook.com/VICE/videos/839923912834227/
I cant embed the video from facebook, and cant locate this video on Vice or youtube
Video #2: 88rising youtube channel
“Rappers React to Higher Brothers | Migos, Lil Yachty, Playboi Carti, KYLE, & more”
June 13, 2017
youtube
Video #3: 88rising youtube channel
“Rappers React to Rich Brian ft. Ghostface Killah, Desiigner, Tory Lanez & More”
July 12, 2016
youtube
Video #4: Interview by Noisey
“The Great Korean Invasion of Keith Ape: Noisey Raps”
November 12, 2015
youtube
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