#johnny seo x male reader smut | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jaeminscoffee · 3 years

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Daddy Issues | S. Jn

Pairing | Seo Johnny x Fem!Reader

Genre | Smut, fluff

Wc;type | oneshot: 3.93k [not proof read]

Warning(s) | Pwp, dilf!johnny, y/n's a pillow princess, daddy kink, overstimulation, teasing, edging, dacryphilia, slight voyeurism, degradation kink, heavy use of the words 'doll, princess, slut, pretty, angel', typical lyra smut, i made haechan johnny's son (i was about to write changbin as johnny's son but decided against it) age gap, unprotected sex ( the Reader's on pills. Remember this is a fiction, don't play the wrong card irl) filth.

a/n- i found this request buried in my asks and was tempted to write it. Sure, the warning looks intimidating, but i know you wanna read it, y'all whores (ily) shoutout to @bakugou-is-my-bae @cvntzennie and @jenopollo for helping me decide what to post first! @suhpersonic

Minors try not to interact! <3

Age is just a number, so surely, there's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of, right?

There's no reason for you to not fall for the friendly neighborhood bachelor, well not so bachelor bachelor, since he does go around asking people who knows of his marriage to pretend it never took place.

Johnny's hot, super hot. Has the build of a supermodel. Has the face that one can only imagine belongs to a greek god, as you'd jokingly tell him how he seemed to be god's favorite and how you loathe Aphrodite for showing favoritism (which would always end up with you getting a very sultry, teasing look from the lad)

Johnny has the type of personality that women can only wish the entirety of the male species would possess. He's an absolute sweetheart, life of the party, definitely the center of attention wherever he goes. And oh god, does he have an immaculate fashion sense.

But Johnny's also the father of Donghyuck. Your best friend.

More than being ashamed about the fact that you actually fell in love with a man who has a child of your age, it was the fact that you had to fall for Donghyuck's father of all people.

Donghyuck is a sweetheart, definitely got his personality from his father but he's also got that glare that could creep the Lord's of the darkness from his father. He's got so much from his father that the resemblance is uncanny.

You'd not want to get onto hyuck's bad side since you've gotten first hand experience at stopping him from almost committing homicide to someone who spoke shit about his friends, more specifically, you.

But Hyuck's not in town. So a little fun with Mr. Suh wouldn't hurt anyone, correct? After all, you're still only a human with desires and the want to take risks.

You'd always not so subtly drop hints at Johnny and he'd always give you that look that would have slick collecting itself between your thighs. A warning look.

A look that said, "cross the line and you'll get it"

But that's the thing, you want to get it and will do anything to get it.

"Y/n."

You'd ask yourself less than a million times if you want to do this or not.

Sure, you weren't this hesitant when you decided to sext your best friend's father knowingly when he was in business mode to irk him up but that's one thing.

And having to confront the same father who left a message smaller than a sentence that completely disregarded all the obscene text and images to show that he's not the slightest bothered or suprised by your behavior for that matter was another thing.

"Tomorrow at mine."

It's almost as though he deals with hormonal teenagers one as such as yourself on a daily basis and that thought kind of backfired at you considering the whole 'Let's piss Johnny off so that he'd finally give me what i want' agenda.

Ironic, huh?

"Mr. Suh." you start hesitantly, unsure of what to call him, scared of what his reaction would be after your inappropriate shenanigans last night.

Your stiff demeanor broke down a little with just a hint of shiver passing down your spine as you watch his features contort into a subtle but cocky smirk, "So now you're being all formal,"

"Well, what else would you like me to address you as?" you inquire, feigning oblivion to his tone and what he's implying at. "You tell me, doll. You seemed to have a lot of names to call me last night," he takes a step forward, prompting you to walk a step backwards, further into the corridors of his apartment and away from the actual location.

"I do not know what you're talking about.. " you let your voice shrivel towards the end, eyes wandering around the complex, finding interest in every small detail as you avoid Johnny's teasing gaze.

"You don't?" Johnny takes another step forward, latching his hands onto your forearms to prevent you from stepping further away, "You must have had a heavy sleep to forget all that you did last night," his voice drops dangerously low as he begins to walk backwards and back into the safety of his apartment, all the while keeping his gaze fixated on you.

"That won't do, would it? How about we take a walk down the memory lane? And see if that rings any bell?" He brushes your hair away from its static position on your shoulder, allowing him to appreciate all those fine details of your shoulders and neck that are exposed from your selection of clothing, an off shoulder.

"How about we don't...?" You ask with skepticism, jolting slightly when you hear the door shut behind you and at the new intrusion of personal space by the lad.

"Why are you acting all shy now, Y/n? Weren't you the one so eager to get into her best friend's fathers pants? Just be the whore you are, darling. Your facade's fooling no one." okay you definitely didn't see that coming.

Johnny's expressions morph into that of mischief as he watches your eyes grow wide and mouth fall ajar, "Am i not correct? Are you not a whore?" he asks with an eyebrow quirked up in a questioning manner.

You don't reply, almost as though the question was meant to linger in the open and that it was a rhetorical one. What you didn't expect, however, was for Johnny's hands to find pursuit around your neck, not necessarily applying pressure, but there as a warning.

"Answer me."

"I'm not.." you answer with a feeble voice, internally cringing at how squeaky you sound which only added to Johnny's amusement.

"Really? Because I don't think good girls go around drooling at a divorced man, her friend's father for that matter and definitely do not send lewd images and voice out their fantasies to a guy twice their age, still want to pretend you're innocent? Or you admit it and we cut down the chase?"

"Yes, I am." you breathe out when his fingers tighten around your neck, a triumphant smile making its way onto his lips. Yet, Johnny felt the need to keep pushing,

"you're what?"

"I am what you said I am," you speak, trying to avoid looking at the scrutinizing look on his face which seemed futile as he had his arms wrapped around your neck, keeping your head in place.

"I want to hear you say it, doll. I need to hear you say it." At this point Johnny's intent was to get you into a flustered puddle in his hold and it sure as hell was going in that direction, seeing how you can't even hold his gaze for more than a few seconds in a shot.

"I am.. I am a who-"

The sound of a phone ringing loud cut you off midway through your sentence, to which you were absolutely relieved. Johnny only seemed to grow annoyed the more he heard the phone ring. With a loud huff, he lets you go, not before giving you a stern look, "Go to my room." he instructed, making his way to the study.

You let out a breath you've been holding in unknowingly the moment he steps away from you. You watch his figure retreat from you with awe, only now realizing how messy you felt between your legs and how your knees keep buckling.

"Oh Hyuck!" you hear Johnny exclaim into the phone the minute you step forward to follow his command.

Your best friend is on call with the guy you're about to fuck.

Your blood runs cold as you shakily make your way into the apartment and towards the bedroom, shrugging off your sling bag, hanging it behind the door as you place your phone on the bedside table to wipe your hands dry from all the sweat that had accumulated at the palm of your hands.

"Yeah, I'm fine, about to eat to my dinner actually" you hear the moment to make yourself comfortable at the edge of the bed, looking over to the door where Johnny stood with his arms across his chest, the other holding up the phone as he leans his weight onto one shoulder, leaning into the doorframe.

You take the time to really appreciate his appearance. He adorned nothing more than a simple grey sweat and tight black tee but he seemed ready to walk down a runway at any given moment now. His long hair, slightly disheveled looking almost intentionally messed up, compliments his features. And oh his features.

The everlasting smirk stayed still on his lips, moving as he exchanged words with his son.

You only come back to your senses when Johnny snapped his free hand in front of you, gaining your attention. He points at his own shirt, then points at you, mouthing 'off' while he listens to Donghyuck speak about whatever he's speaking.

"Really? Jeno said that? Tell him I'm more than willing to welcome him as my gym partner, the lad seems strong" Johnny makes a quick move to remove the gadget from his ear, before holding it in front of him after placing the call on speaker mode

Your eyes widen the moment you hear the disturbance in the background and Donghyuck's voice resonate through the room. "no?? Why would you want to work out with him? He'll only make you feel old, you know?"

"Says the one who still can't beat me at arm wrestling. If anything, i think Jeno would make the perfect gym buddy for me," Johnny raises an eyebrow at your defiance, cocking his head towards the side, staring down at you with a predatory look, "Hyuck, you know, Y/n-" you scramble to take your shirt off at the mention of your name on the call, "-stopped by earlier" he lets out a silent laugh of disbelief.

"Oh? Oh yeah! I'd told her I'd give her book back before I left but I forgot, did you perhaps give it back to her?" Donghyuck questions.

"I figured you must've forgotten so, yeah i did." Johnny replies, pushing himself off of the doorframe, now walking towards you.

"Man, I miss her! I might facetime her after I end the call with you," Johnny sets down the phone beside you on the bed, leaning down, placing both his hands on either side of your lap, finding comfort at the crook of your neck,

"I remember her mentioning something about her cousin coming over? Maybe wait for an hour or so before calling her" his lips graze against your neck each time he spoke, you let out a tiny whimper at the so longed feeling, only to earn yourself a small bite at the earlobe, immediately accompanied by a hand over your mouth, "you need to be quiet, doll. Or my son would find out how much of a slut his best friend is," he whispers in your ear.

"Yeah? Did she mention which one?"

"No, not really, she kinda just stormed out after getting what she wanted" Johnny creates a trail of kisses all the way from your neck to your shoulders, down the collarbone while one of his hand worked to unhook your bra, "Yeah, she's weird like that," you hear Donghyuck let out a chuckle as you whine into Johnny's palm, your figure slightly trembling from the fear of getting caught all the while being excited about the risky situation he's put the two of you in.

"Anyways, I'll call you tomorrow? The boys are coming over now so I got to go! Night, dad!" Donghyuck speaks up again, "Night, Hyuck."

You hear the beep indicating the call has ended. Johnny let's his hand drop from your mouth and makes its way towards your hair, brushing through the strands before pulling at it with a firm grip, "I had my son on call and here you are making all these sweet noises, you wanted to get busted, doll?"

"It's not my fault! You-"

"ah-ah! Don't talk back, angel. You're already in deep trouble, don't want to add onto that now, do we?" He makes a swift move to have you lying on your back, your torso completely exposed to him while he remains clothed.

"But Johnny-" you whine, jolting when you feel his hands caressing the soft flesh of your inner thighs, "How do you think Hyuck would feel about this?" his hands travel further north, cupping your heat from underneath your skirt. "fuck, you're drenched"

"Now tell me, pretty girl, what are you supposed to be calling me, now?"

"Johnny-, tha-that was a joke! I don't have daddy kin-" you try clenching your thighs close from the sudden attention your core was receiving. Johnny wholeheartedly lets out a laugh at your attempt to hide your true feelings, making a quick act of disregarding your soaked panties somewhere behind him.

"Darling, the more you deny it, the longer we keep going at it-" his thumbs at your clit, applying pressure but making no move to quench your needs. You let out a sigh of bliss at the feeling, your back arching off of the sheets at the sensation.

In any other situation, you'd be embarrassed at how sensitive you'd gotten just from all the dirty talking and looks Johnny passed you. But that's the catch, he's Johnny, the only one who can get you this sensitive while doing the bare minimum.

"Say it, Y/n."

"No, Johnny! It's-it's embarrassing.." you plead with your eyes, grinding your hips against his fingers, earning a satisfied, dirty look from the lad.

"Very well.. I'll just draw it out of you"

Without warning, Johnny with little to no resistance, slides two slender digits into your wetness, setting a pace fast enough to draw loud chains of cries from your mouth.

"You hear that, doll? You hear how fucking wet you are? Hm?" he growls animalistically, the thumb that remained on your clit now moving in circles with a motive to get you undone in seconds.

"Johnn-..!" you whine out, feeling your orgasm growing so close that you could almost taste it, "Still going at that, angel?" he questions, not really expecting an answer as he soaks up the pleasured look on your face. "Johnny- I'm close.. -" you fail to notice the mischievous grin growing on his face as he speeds up the movement of his fingers.

"Of course you are, doll" He feels you clench around his fingers, back coming off of the mattress as you ready yourself for your release, waiting until the last minute to draw his finger out.

"Why would you-? Johnn-I was so close!" you cry out as you sense your core clench around nothing, whining about the incomplete orgasm. "Why would I give you what you want when you wouldn't comply, baby? That's not how this works." He shrugs, licking his fingers clean of your essence, moving up from the bed to remove the shirt that seemed to be suffocating now.

"Johnny, please!" you whine louder, rubbing your thighs together to create some sort of friction, all unsatisfactory as it did not meet the same intensity as that of his fingers.

"Please what, doll?" He smirks, knowing the ball is in his court and that you'd had to give in any moment now. Johnny leans down once again, drawing lazy circles at your clit, using his other hand to hold himself up above and close to you, his minty breath which had a hint of coffee fanning your face as you whimper, finally feeling your high building itself up again. "Spit it out, princess, you know you want to." he speaks in a soft voice.

"Please..please" you beg for nothing in particular, getting all worked up again, "The begging's lovely, doll. But you're starting to anger me here, will you say it? Or should I leave you hanging again?"

You mutter prayers under your breath, hoping he wouldn't actually leave you hanging again, "Fine-" he moves again to remove his fingers from you to deprive you of pleasure all over again when you finally latch onto his wrist, keeping his hands in place blurting out, "Daddy! I'm so-sorry.. There, daddy, please make me come" you give in, the name, the feeling and look of pure victory on his face as he grins like a cheshire cat only intensifies the heat growing at a rapid pace at the pit of your stomach.

"Final fucking ly, princess. Daddy will make you feel good" He reinserts his fingers in, drilling it with desperation to see you come undone as he draws rapid circles on your now sensitive clit with the other hand, watching you squirm under him.

"Joh-Daddy i'm coming..!" you cry out weakly as you feel your orgasm hit you with much force, easily driving you into over sensitivity. Johnny's patient in helping you ride out your orgasm, not stopping until you let out a throaty sob and plead him to stop to allow yourself some room to breathe.

Johnny, however, makes no move to stop, only speeding up his fingers, his gaze fixed on where his fingers disappeared inside of you while his other hand held you down with a vise grip, "Give me one more, doll. I know you've got one more in you. " he pants, the feeling of his girth in confinement only throwing himself to sensory deprivation as he feels himself twitch inside his sweats painfully.

You shake your head, tears now flowing elegantly down your cheek, your lips puckered into a slight pout, your eyebrows drawn together as you let yourself melt into the pleasure Johnny was providing you with. "Daddy.."

You whine, feeling your second high reaching you ridiculously quick as you see Johnny's face contort in concentration,

"I need to get you nice and wet for me, princess, you're doing so well. Give daddy another one" you coaxes you with his sultry tone, words and actions, inevitably having you come undone under him for the second time that night.

You let out a choked moan, finally having enough as you curl upon yourself the minute Johnny removes his fingers from you, full fledged crying at the overbearing feeling of sensitivity.

Johnny groans at the sight, leaning down to press a soft peck on your sweaty forehead before getting off of the bed to remove his pants alongside his boxer at a slow speed, granting you some time to recover.

"Condom?" he asks, readying himself to reach into the drawing when he notices you shake your head a no as a reply, "I'm on pills.." you mutter weakly.

You hear him curse out at the thought of doing you raw, flexing his muscles before climbing on top of you again. He takes his time to gently turn you back onto your back, pressing his tender lips against your irritated one for the first time that night, his hand ever so slightly moving to play with your clit once again, making you jerk, "Daddy!"

"Sorry, doll. Daddy just needs to make sure that princess is ready to take his cock"

Your whining intensifies at his words, wiggling your hips to move closer to his own, "But I am ready! Look, daddy! I'm so wet and ready for you!" you whimper, earning a chuckle from the lad.

Just like all the other times that night, he aligns his cock at your entrance without a warning, the tip ever so slightly pushing through your walls, "Alright, big girl. Show daddy how much of a slut you can be for him."

Suddenly, Johnny detaches himself from you, moving further away as he leans by the edge of the door, smirking at you whining at the loss of contact, "Patience, angel"

He grabs hold of your hips, manhandling your body into all fours as he enters you completely with no trouble once he's got you where he wants you to be.

Something about having to take Johnny from behind was so sexy that you could almost immediately feel your orgasm grow, "Fuck baby, keep clenching around me like that and i won't last long," he grunts, moving in you with a steady pace,

"I never expected my son to befriend such filthy sluts like you, Y/n. Look at the mess you're making on my sheets" He grabs a fistful of your ass in a tight squeeze, the sudden shift in his demeanor only serving as a whiplash as you feel yourself growing closer and closer to the sweet orgasm.

"Jesus, doll, you're so fucking tight i can barely move" Johnny growls, talking to keep himself from coming too fast.

"Daddy.. I'm close. M-I'm so so close" you cry as your arms give out and you fall face first onto the mattress, the new stretch in your back only encouraging his cock to hit you deeper, finding the sweet cushion that serves as extra pleasure for you.

"Me too, princess, me too.. '' You hear him let out a whine, his thrusts growing sloppier as he does you slower but deeper.

He reaches around your body to find pursuit at your clit for the nth time that night, rubbing rapid, messy circles to go with his deep thrusts, "Daddy!" you reach your high with a high pitched cry of his name.

Johnny comes not too long after you as he couldn't resist the constant tight clenching of your walls around his cock. He thrust slowly to ride out his high as you twitch helplessly, face scrunched up in too much pleasure.

You feel your body being manoeuvred onto your side as he whispers sweet nothings which pass right through your ears as you feel him softened inside you, the feeling ridiculously soothing for your used up walls,

"You did amazing, darling." he kisses your temple, not making any move to remove himself from within you, which you silently thanked him for.

You both lay in silence as you turned your body towards him, earning a hiss and a playful smack from him as it added pressure onto his sensitive member. You wrap your arms around his torso, about to nuzzle into his chest and just drift away to dreamland when you hear the familiar ring of your phone from the table beside the bed.

You feel Johnny's body shift to reach out to get your phone, looking at the caller ID before handing it to you with a smirk that you knew meant that he was up to no good. "Oh! It's hyuck" you exclaim in shock, quickly accepting the call and placing it near your ear, moving to get away from him.

But Johnny seemed to have other ideas, as he latched an arm around your torso to keep you from moving, "Hey-" you begin, immediately feeling Johnny experimentally thrust into you again, making you whine, "Y/n! I miss you~-oh hey, are you okay?" you hear Donghyuck's voice from the other side,

You look at Johnny with a pleading and warning gaze to which you earn yourself a toothy grin from the lad,

"Of co-course! Just a little.. peachy,'' You turn around to place a hand on his chest to halt his movement, "You don't sound just peachy.. I've heard you like this before!" you hear Donghyuck make those noises he makes when he's thinking as Johnny keeps thrusting lazily the more you look at him, you see him open his mouth to speak, "Oh fuck! You're getting laid, aren't you???"

"Tell Hyuck daddy says hi"

932 notes · View notes

byunbaekby · 4 years

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title — a clouded fate pairing — badboy!mark lee x female reader featuring — lucas wong/wong yukhei, johnny seo, lee taeyong, nakamoto yuta (mentioned), lee donghyuck (mentioned) word count — 17.2k overall warnings — extreme drug use, drug dealing, alcohol use, language, religion, addiction, drug overdose, vomiting, one explicit smut scene smut warnings — fingering, protected sex (stay safe, always!), high sex, corruption kink for like 0.2 seconds, degradation collab — bad boy bingo collab, link here lyrics inspiration — “call it quits, call it destiny.” bruno major, easily ; “gotta stay high all the time, to keep you off my mind.” tove lo, habits writing playlist — link here

author’s message — oh my gosh, it’s finally here! this has been a work in progress basically ever since early summer, when i started writing on this blog. this is one of my favorite pieces i’ve ever written, but not because writing it came easy to me; quite the opposite. i scrapped and rewrote this three times, consulted many people for their opinions because i simply didn’t think that it was good. a few thank you’s: my babe @jensungf for reading the first draft when it was at barely 5k, the lovely @ncteaxhoe for reading it at 7k and also the night i finished it, @taempteng the writing god for proofing it for me, and my amazing @starlit-jeno for getting me through everything. also thank you @legendnct for hosting this collab! it’s finally at a place where i am happy and very very proud of what i’ve written. i hope you all read and enjoy!

—DAY ONE.

The ice cold water thrown over him shocks Mark awake from his post-high sleep.

“What the hell, man?” He exclaims, wiping the water from his face as he sits up in his bed, soaked t-shirt sticking to the curve of his clavicles. His eyes meet the source of the intrusion: his roommate and best friend Lucas, holding a now empty pitcher.

“Dude. It’s past noon. Wake up.”

Lucas’ passive words only make Mark furrow his eyebrows in annoyance. “Shut the fuck up bitch, I’m awake.”

“Someone’s feisty today.” Lucas retorts, tossing Mark a towel as he swings his legs over the bed. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he recognizes his best friend’s chastising tone in his diluted ears. “When did you get back last night? What were you doing?”

“Calm down,” Mark groans, the volume of Lucas’ voice beginning to hurt his head. Running a hand through his now wet hair, he responds, “I was smoking with Yuta. Got back around three in the morning.”

“Yuta,” mumbles Lucas. “You know, I don’t like him. You’re always with him, getting high or something. Exams start soon, and you’re not planning to study at all? You’ve been high every day for what, like, the past two weeks?”

This early morning lecture is enough to cause Mark’s irritation to spike. Since when is Lucas so nitpicky? Last time he checked, Lucas enjoys partying just as much as he does. Sometimes, even more than Mark himself. “Fuck, are you my roommate or my mom?”

“I’m your best friend, is what I am. I’m worried about you. All you do is party, get high, and sleep. When was the last time you even ate?” Before Mark can even think back to answer that, Lucas continues, “You’ve been like this since you broke up with Y/N, and—”

Mark cuts him off. “Don’t say her name.”

“You’re hurting, Mark. And this isn’t the right way to handle it.”

“Oh, so you take one psychology course and you think you’re an expert or something,” Mark scoffs.

This seems to stunt his roommate for a second, before he sighs looking down at the image of his best friend sitting on the edge of his bed, gaunt eyes and all. The last time he saw his friend looking so pitiful was when his dad had passed. “I’m just worried about you. You should let me be, sometimes,” replies Lucas quietly.

“I’m an adult,” says Mark, which causes Lucas to scoff and respond, “Then act like one.” Annoyed, Mark stands and instead takes a seat at his desk chair.

The taller male speaks up once again, starting to tear off Mark’s bed sheets that are now wet. “You need to stop. This isn’t good for you. Stop the drugs and tell Johnny you’re done. Study for your finals. Get your act together, stop acting like an idiot, and go get her back.”

When he finishes stripping the sheets and looks up, Mark’s head is in his hands. “It’s not that easy.”

“You love her.”

“But that doesn’t mean we’re meant to be together,” Mark finally says as he looks up, voice raised in frustration at both the situation and the fact that his best friend is calling him out for it. “We can’t be together,” he declares. “I’m only going to ruin her. She’s good. I’m bad. She has a future. I don’t. She’s everything I’m not and I can’t mess it up for her. Not after... Not after—” Lucas cuts his friend off, sensing that he’s about to start hyperventilating.

“I know. What happened, you can’t change it. It was your fault. But don’t say you’re not meant to be together. Nothing’s going to change the past. You broke up. But nothing’s going to bring you back together but yourself.”

Mark stares at Lucas with tired, red-rimmed eyes, wondering when his tall goofy friend had grown so much. Has everything around him changed, matured, while he stayed the same?

“How do I do that?” He finally relents.

“Make yourself good enough for her. Start with the drugs. Stop doing them.”

He knows the truth in that statement, but doesn’t want to acknowledge it. It’s a lot easier said than done. With no words to say, Mark stands and starts to walk past his friend toward the bathroom. On the way out, he accidentally kicks his guitar, on the floor propped on the wall. “Fuck,” he curses, looking down at the old wooden thing.

Lucas follows him out as he leaves the room, and Mark steps into the bathroom. Opening the mirror cabinet, he pulls out his prescription bottle which shakes with noise. Silently he pops a pill into his mouth and swallows it with a handful of tap water. It’s probably a bad idea on an empty stomach, but he’ll eat whatever Lucas is making right after.

“That includes the Xanax, Mark!” Lucas’ voice calls from the kitchen.

“Baby steps,” he responds, staring endlessly into the pitiful character watching him in the mirror.

—THE FIRST NIGHT

It isn’t his first party, but it’s his first college party. There’s a big difference.

The scale is larger, the alcohol more plentiful. And more importantly, the shame of being under the influence is nonexistent. His ziploc of kush feels heavy in his pocket, but he knows he’ll feel lighter with its effect later on. School’s only been in session a week, yet Mark’s already decided he likes university more than high school.

He hasn’t smoked yet, but clearly others have, from the haze wafting from room to room. The music is loud, the air is musty, and there’s a cloud of visible smoke surrounding a group of people in the corner. He can smell it now, the familiar scent relaxing him in a new environment.

He’s about to venture out to said group, catching Lucas’ ashy gray hair (a horrible decision, really) sticking out from its inhabitants, but then something catches his eye.

In a room of dark gray smoke and purple LED lights, a white dress catches his attention. He turns his head and, faded by the blurred intensity of the smoke, there you are. Leaning with your back against the wall, alone. You’re not doing much, just standing there in your awkward lonesome looking entirely out of place while swirling the contents of your red cup in your hand. With seemingly no move to drink it, you’re staring blankly into said cup, and Mark stares blankly at you. The white fabric of your dress seems to vividly attract the iridescent purple lights of the party, leaving you to stand out in the massive crowd. Though from the way you stand out from the crowd, it seems that that’s the last thing you want to do; you’d rather blend into the scene.

But you don’t. You’re a beacon of white light in the gray bleakness of the party, and Mark contemplates his next action. He had promised Lucas that he’d be his wingman to try and win over Yuqi. But there’s something about you that pulls him.

Oh well, he muses to himself as he slides across the room toward you. It’s not his fault Lucas needs a wingman to talk to girls, and he doesn’t.

“Hey,” he starts, trying to make himself heard above the music. “You’re staring at that thing like you need a refill.”

At the sound of his voice you look up as though suddenly startled. Then your eyes land on him and Mark’s not entirely sure if he’s sane, but you relax. “No thanks,” you respond politely. “I don’t drink.”

“Really?” Mark glances at his red Solo cup, half filled with some sordid mixture of vodka and Fanta that Doyoung had given him earlier.

“Is that strange?” You ask curiously as he makes move to lean on the wall next to you. Except rather than lean his back to it, he presses his shoulder to the wall to face you.

“A bit.” Mark says as he tilts his head back, pressing the red cup to his lips as he downs the rest of the liquid in his cup.

“Maybe. I’ve learned that there are more people who drink in college than people who don’t… I guess I fall into the second category.” When he finishes his drink, he tosses it over his shoulder.

“Nah,” he says in response. “I don’t really drink either. Only occasionally. I’m already a mess with the weed, imagine how much I’d be if I was an alcoholic.” He nearly expects you to laugh at his lame attempt at being playful, but he’s met with silence. Still, he doesn’t miss the way your eyebrows quirk slightly upward at his words. Right now, dark hair tousled and dark ripped jeans decorating his legs, Mark thinks he looks pretty good. But you don’t seem to be as interested as girls in the past.

“You smoke…” Your words trail and Mark finds himself enraptured by the form of your lips as you talk. His mind flies, but you continue, “How’s that like?”

He shrugs. “It’s nothing, really. Just fun. I have some right now if you want,” he says, patting his jean pocket.

“Oh, no,” you immediately recoil, as if it were preposterous. Immediately your eyes widen and you shake your head at him. “Not-not that people who do it are bad or anything! It’s just… not my thing.”

If you didn’t drink or enjoy any substances, what were you doing here? He asks this aloud.

“My roommate dragged me,” you explain. “We’ve only been living together for a week since the year started but she’s… something else. I’ve seen her smoke more than I’ve seen her study.”

You almost sound scared. This causes a laugh to leave his lips, and yours. He’s finding, in the mere two minutes of conversation you’ve made, that you are very different from the girl he thought you were across the room. You were indeed like your dress that attracted him: bright, pure, and comfortable.

And he wants you.

Your silence brings about Mark’s introduction. “I’m Mark, by the way.” His hand stretches out to you and you stare for a second.

“Y/N.” You place your hand in his, and from the jolt he feels in his heart, the first of its kind, that is the first time that Mark Lee believes in the existence of fate.

—FIVE HOURS CLEAN.

If someone had told Mark in his freshman year of high school that he would become a drug dealer in college, he would have directed them to his father’s church and told them to pray a bit.

Yes, prior to his entrance to adulthood and the cruel, cruel world, Mark Lee was a church boy. A good boy. He did well in school, dedicated his weekends to church and playing basketball with his boys. Up and down the high school halls, his signature laugh could be heard at any moment he wasn’t in class.

Then the summer before his senior year, Pastor Lee passed from cancer and Mark’s boisterous laughter became a long forgotten sound.

It was two weeks after his dad’s funeral that he met Donghyuck, a boy with shady eyes who offered him some kush. Just want to try it, Mark had tried to reason with his conscience when he took that first hit behind the school. Then he fell into the fatal world of drugs and partying. Lucas had been there since their junior high days, sad to see his friend fall so poorly, and he had forced Mark to get his shit together for graduation that year. Barely.

So yes, he was once the bright eyed boy he always wanted to be, who read the Bible front to back and wouldn’t have known how to roll a joint, but that was fantasy. He wasn’t that anymore. He’s a college student trying to get along with the little money he can make from selling weed and other things. He had first gotten into this when he met Johnny Seo, two years above him who could tell that Mark was struggling to make tuition and rent with a job at McDonald’s. Now Johnny has graduated and Mark is still doing his dirty work for him.

That’s exactly what he’s doing now, standing outside Taeyong’s house a little past 6PM with a pouch of kush in his bag.

It’s easy money, but that never calms his nerves.

Even when the door opens to reveal Taeyong, shirtless and red hair in disarray, Mark doesn’t stop bouncing his foot in worry. His restlessness isn’t lost on Taeyong, who had obviously just woken up. “It’s 6PM,” Mark says, eyebrow raised at his appearance.

“I was up all night working on a track.” Taeyong’s eyes flicker to Mark’s bouncing foot. “You’re bouncier than normal,” he comments as he counts his bills in his hand.

“Haven’t had my fix today.” Mark explains simply as the older male hands over a wad of cash. As he counts it silently, Taeyong points his thumb over his shoulder to his living room.

“Wanna come in and hit some?”

Mark looks up at his offer and sighs inwardly. It would be rather easy to just give in and smoke a bit with someone he trusted, and he wouldn’t even be paying for the weed. He’s tempted. After weeks of being stoned nearly every day, he’s starting to itch for a fix. But Lucas’ gruff voice rings in his mind and he knows that if he gives in, only five hours in, he’ll never be able to live with himself. So for now he does it for Lucas, but maybe in time he’ll see that it was for himself after all.

“I’m good.” Mark nearly shoves the pouch of green into Taeyong’s grasp, wanting to be away from it as soon as possible. The red-haired recipient only blinks.

“You’re giving it up or something?”

“Or something,” mumbles Mark sullenly, tucking his hands into his pockets.

“That’s good,” Taeyong declares after a short silence. Mark looks up, meeting Taeyong’s suddenly sincere eyes. “Good for you. I really couldn’t believe that you got into that stuff with Johnny’s crowd anyways.” Mark only shrugs in response. He’d long since stopped deliberating over that. This is his life now. “Still doing music?”

“In name, yeah, I’m still a music major. But I don’t have time to play.” The last time he touched his guitar was this morning when he had kicked it. The last time before that… he doesn’t know if he can’t remember due to a marijuana induced haze or if it’s because it really has been that long.

Taeyong continues. “You know, you don’t have to do this stuff. You’re a talented guy, you’re strong. If you could dedicate yourself to your music like you do to dealing, you wouldn’t need to deal.”

This brings about a sigh from Mark. Who is Taeyong to tell him what to do, anyways? Last time he checked, he was the customer, not Mark. “You all make it sound so easy.”

“Trust me. You can do it.”

—THE FIRST KISS

The first time Mark kisses you, it’s cold outside.

He’s walking you back to your sharehouse, down the streets of town, when he asks, “Be honest with me and tell me if that date sucked.”

It’s been a couple weeks since the two of you first met that fated night at Doyoung’s party, and you’ve only now allowed him to take you out on a date. He doesn’t know that it’s your first. Well, in some ways, it’s his also.

Mark’s been on a few dates, sure, but those all ended up with him getting his dick wet in the dark parking lot of a Burger King or something. He’d normally take them out for fast food, and finish with the usual fun stuff in his back seat. This time it’s… different. Not only does he figure that you wouldn’t be down for that type of date, but something in him wants it to be different. The only problem is he doesn’t know how to plan a good date.

He still took you out to get McDonalds’, but instead of retreating to the backseat, he drove the two of you to the movie theatre. It was probably a dumb choice of him in hindsight, deciding to watch an action movie, but something about the way you hid your face into his neck when one of the characters got punched out made him smile.

“No, it wasn’t… bad,” you respond, swinging your interlaced hands. You had surprised him earlier when you had grabbed his hand upon exiting his car, curling your fingers together.

“You’re lying,” he sighs.

“No, I’m not. Really,” you reassure him as the two of you approach the door of your home. After all, how can you have a bad date when you’ve never been on a date before? You have nothing to compare it to. “I had a good time. Actually… it was my first date.”

Mark blinks, having not expected that to be so. A groan leaves his lips as his free hand comes up to run through his hair. “Oh god, and I ruined it.”

“No, no, it was perfect. I wouldn’t change it for anything.” You smile a sickeningly sweet, charming smile at him, and he sighs. You’re too good for a guy like him.

He’s beyond surprised actually—even though you know of his habits, his hobby of wasting time and rolling joints, you haven’t run away like others. And he likes you. A lot. Even though everything tells him that what he does is bad for you, he still wants you. You’re a comfortable presence in his life.

“You know,” you suddenly start. Mark looks up, intrigued. “I’ve never kissed anyone before.”

He wonders if the surprise on his face is painfully evident. “Really? Like, ever?”

His question is met with a shake of your head, and he blinks. So you’ve never drank or smoked. That, he can believe. But the fact that you’ve never kissed anyone? Sometimes… you shock him with your boldness. Like earlier when you grabbed his hand and at your first meeting when you had asked for his phone number before he could. But in some moments like now, he realizes just how the duality of your personality comes into play.

“Why’s that?”

You shrug. “I don’t know, it never really felt right,” you explain as the two of you approach your doorstep. As he escorts you up the steps and to your front door, he furrows his brows deeper. Why were you telling him this?

“Does it feel right, now?” He asks softy, gaze flickering to your interlaced hands as he turns to face you. His hand reaches forward, cupping your cheek, the touch soft despite the callused skin of his hands.

“Yes,” you respond gently, simpering smile on your roseate tiers.

The smile on your face is sweet and pure, two words that Mark isn’t.

A flood of relief shows on Mark’s face, and you bite down on your lower lip as excitement bubbles in your stomach. “Can I kiss you?” A response quickly follows. For some reason he can’t quite figure out, you let him into the maze that is you. Despite the leather jacket, his messy hair, and the lingering smell of weed on his clothes, you want him just as much as he wants you. Even though you both know that he isn’t the type of guy that you normally like, the type of guy that your mother would approve of, you trust him. It’s bewildering to him.

Then he guides you to him. Within seconds his lips are on yours, and you melt into him. It’s surely not Mark’s first kiss but it feels like it. The initial awkwardness, then the heat on his cheeks as you both fall into a rhythm. It feels right, like it was meant to be, just as Mark had hoped.

You’re like the kind of irreplicable drug that Mark has sought after for years. The kind that brings a euphoric high which burns his lungs and twists his stomach, but in all the right ways.

—29 HOURS CLEAN.

The smell filling the kitchen leads Lucas to scrunch his nose in distaste when he exits his room. “Dude, what the hell is that smell?”

His answer lies in the pan on the stove and Mark standing in the kitchen, wielding a wooden spoon. Clad in only basketball shorts, he looks absolutely foreign to the environment. Lucas sighs. “Please tell me you’re not boiling crack right here in our kitchen.”

The face the Korean makes is scandalized. “What—no, what the fuck? It’s mapo tofu. I’d be insane to try and make crack cocaine.” He adds under his breath, “In the apartment.”

Lucas leans back against the counter, cocking an eyebrow. “Then why are you cooking mapo tofu of all things? I haven’t seen you eat anything but ramen and eggs probably since we moved in here. And—put on a shirt if you’re cooking, or an apron at least. You look like a caveman.”

“Well,” sounds Mark with a roll of his eyes at his friend’s expected lecturing. “I had a shirt on, but I spilled some spicy shit on it and took it off. And I,” he pauses, turning off the stove. “I thought we could eat your favorite food together before we head out to Hendery’s party. You know, as a… sorry for being a bitch yesterday apology.”

The taller man narrows his eyes, eyebrows furrowing as he tries to make sense of his best friend’s words. “So you… decided to make my favorite food because you felt bad that I had to wake you up and take care of your shit?”

“I guess, yeah.”

Lucas laughs, a deep sound, whilst shaking his head. “Dude, I’ve been doing that since middle school and you’re only apologizing now?”

Mark purses his lips, making a face of annoyance. “Better late than never.”

“I guess. But sorry, I wouldn’t want to eat your mapo tofu anyways. Smells more like my week’s laundry than food. Maybe next time just order from that Chinese place around the corner that I actually like,” advises Lucas.

A pitiful laugh leaves Mark’s lips. “Duly noted.”

“And anyways, I’m not going to Hendery’s party. I have plans.” This causes Mark to finally take a good look at his friend. He’s normally well-dressed, but tonight he looks even better, a little too fancy for the typical college frat party. Before Mark can even question what these other plans are, Lucas explains, “I have a date with—”

“Yuqi,” finishes Mark for him. “Figured.” Lucas grabs his wallet on the counter, nodding before tucking it into his pant pocket. “Is that why you haven’t been partying with us? Or why you’ve suddenly been on this, ‘Mark, sobriety is key’ rant?” Mark questions, lowering his voice to imitate that of his roommate’s. At Lucas’ silence, Mark scoffs. “Dude, your relationship is so fucked up, how many times are you guys going to try to make it work when it doesn’t?”

All that leaves Lucas is a sigh, but Mark continues. “This is what, your third breakup so far? And fourth time trying to make it work?”

“Some things are worth the effort,” replies Lucas easily, slipping on his shoes. As he reaches to tie his laces, Mark continues, “She takes up all of your time now, you haven’t hung with us in months, and all for a relationship that’s destined to fail.”

“Nothing’s destined to fail, Mark. It’s all about how hard you’re willing to work for it.” His voice is calm, but there’s something building beneath it. To this, Mark sighs, and says, “You’ve changed, man.”

Lucas grabs his keys, clearly at the limit with Mark’s prodding. “Sometimes people are worth changing for, Mark. Yuqi forgave me for what I did, and I forgave her for what she did. We’re trying, okay? We’re not walking away. I’m sure…” The taller male pauses on his words, as though contemplating them, before continuing. “I’m sure Y/N would’ve forgiven you for what you did, but you walked away. And that’s where we’re different.”

It hits him, and Mark tightens his jaw. Yes, his relationship with Y/N was destined to fail too, there was no denying it. To fight with his friend who he had just tried to make amends with, or apologize? He goes with the latter, only because he’s too exhausted for a yelling match right now. “Lucas, I’m sorry, okay? I’m a little… on edge.”

“I know. I’ve known you for years,” chuckles Lucas softly. “I know how you get.”

“Yeah. Have fun on your date, though.”

His best friend nods tightly. “Yeah, I will. But if you care about what I told you, don’t go to the party tonight. You know you won’t be able to control yourself.” Mark nods, sighing. “And throw out that mapo tofu while you’re at it. It stinks, and not in the good way mapo tofu’s supposed to smell.”

Mark rolls his eyes while Lucas’ laugh fills his ears. “Just leave already.”

With a few smooth movements he’s already slid out the apartment door. A sigh leaves him, alone in the apartment. He does as Lucas says, tossing his attempt at dinner in the trash. It’s gonna be a long night.

—THE FIRST TASTE.

The first time that you kiss Mark, however, it’s hot inside his apartment and sweat sticks the fabric of your tank top to your stomach.

That doesn’t stop you from cuddling on his couch however, and you gaze up at him from your position under his arm to watch as your boyfriend, focused on the TV, lifts his blunt to his lips and takes a long drag. Underneath his arm, you observe how his lips wrap around the circumference of it, sucking in a sharp breath before releasing it into the air. He knows that over your time together, you’ve come to accept the smoking. It’s obviously clear to him that you don’t particularly approve, but Mark’s responsible enough to control himself. Now however, as you gaze up at him, you realize just how attractive your boyfriend is. Dark hair tousled and arms bared through his tank top, he looks so, so good. Somehow, he looks even better with the cig in his hand.

You never would have thought you’d fall for such a guy like him, but you keep falling. He’s not the good guy that you dreamed of, but that’s okay, because you make him good.

“Mark?” You ask, still looking up at him.

He hums in response, turning to look at you.

Your voice is soft as you ask, “Do you believe in destiny?”

Your boyfriend blinks at the sudden question. “Define destiny.”

“That like, we all have a predetermined fate. That everything happens for a reason, and every challenge is just a small piece in a bigger puzzle. That we all have soulmates we’re destined to be with.” Mark’s lips purse, pouting just the slightest in thought, a habit of his.

Does he?

It’s a question, because he used to. He used to be a good old Christian boy, of course he believed that God had a plan for everyone. Every tribulation was just something that would make him stronger in the end. Unfortunately, the last time Mark can remember being at church, he fucked one of the choir girls in the Bible study room.

He can’t really pinpoint when he stopped believing in fate. God? Yeah, sure he still believes in him, though the big guy upstairs will probably send him south for his irrefutable sins. But fate? Not really. If fate was real then it was really messed up to make him such a failure.

But, he realizes, gazing at the strands of hair matted to your forehead as a result of the hot summer weather, and the pure adulation in your eyes as you gaze up to him, that perhaps because of you, his destiny isn’t too bad. Sure, he’s a fuck up with addictions and demons, but he does pretty well by keeping you happy. Because you make him happy. A smooth, suave smile spreads across his lips like butter. “I didn’t before, but I do now.”

Your eyebrow perks up. “Now you do? Why’s that?”

His arm wrapped lazily around your shoulders allows him to pull your face close. With the same smile, he presses a number of kisses to your cheek (much to your sweet protest, complaining about his sweat and smoke). As though he attempts to mask his words against your skin, he mumbles, “Because I found you.”

Mark has never told you that he loves you; it’s a bit too intimate for him, who’s never been vulnerable in that way, and you, whose every first is him.

But he doesn’t have to say it, because you know it.

Your lips break out into a flustered smile, though you try to hide it from him. His quiet, unsaid confession fills you with glee and more importantly, confidence.

“Babe,” you tell him. This grabs his attention, because you rarely use such sweet nicknames. He attempts to respond, but you’re already sitting up and swinging yourself over to straddle his lap. Your movement brings about confusion on his features, and you take a deep breath. This isn’t the first time you’ve been in this position with him, but the first time you’ve made the initiative to do it yourself. Mark was always leading you. So you lean forward, placing your hands on his shoulders, and you kiss him.

You can probably taste the smoke on your tongue, but you’ve grown accustomed to that. Mark kisses back and grips your waist with his free hand, both shocked and amused by your sudden courage. Everything feels right, it’s like it’s destiny. He’s about to slip his tongue into your mouth but you break the connection, choosing instead to linger your lips over his. Your breath is hot on his as you finally speak.

“I want a puff.”

“Are you sure?” He looks up at you, nearly breathless at the sight of you atop him. Lip gloss smeared from your heated kiss, you look delectable. Your wide eyes, once depicting innocence, are now focused and curious. He knows you don’t necessarily approve of his habits, but here you are, sitting on top of him looking irresistible and asking for a taste.

“Yes,” you confirm, as though reassuring yourself. Mark had always liked you, been attracted to you because of the notion that you were innocent, pure, bright. Everything he was not. He had never wanted to taint you, yet his confession still hangs in the air.

But as he lifts his blunt to his mouth, taking a long drag before blowing the diluted smoke into your waiting cavern, he starts to worry that this would be the beginning of a long downward spiral which would place no blame anywhere but on him.

—44 HOURS CLEAN.

The withdrawal forces him from his sleep at 5AM.

Mark wakes in a cold sweat, itching for a fix. That’s when he realizes how deep he really is.

Shit.

His fingers are shaking, so he moves to occupy them with the only thing he can think of. He drags himself out of bed, grabs his guitar, and makes his way out to the living room. Plopping himself down on the floor next to a window, he attempts to refamiliarize himself with the strings that he had abandoned. Lucas is still asleep, so he plucks quietly.

He has long since forgotten what it was like to lose himself in the sound.

There was once a time when he was passionate for something other than haze. It was music. The first time he touched a guitar, magic sprung through his fingers and he knew: he was made for this. Somehow, majoring in music composition and being forced to take so many theory and history classes had caused his passion to simmer. Now, it slowly burns again.

He doesn’t realize how the hours pass and the sun begins to shine between the blinds.

His mind brushes over what Taeyong had told him two days ago. Is this what he had been missing all this time? All the hours he spent blinded by a foggy smoked haze, had he been neglecting his own love for music? It’s amazing what he can accomplish when he takes a break from that life.

He starts to feel like the old Mark again.

For a second, he stops strumming and directs his gaze to outside the window. There’s not much to see except the college town, with the glimpse of the university itself just atop the hill, but he stares and relishes in the sight of the sunlight casting a glow over the town.

A knock on the door interrupts his deliberations.

A glance to the clock tells him it’s barely 9AM. Who would be here so early? There are two options, he decides as he stands from the floor to stretch his legs, resting his guitar on the wall. It’s either Yuqi, Lucas’ renowned off-again on-again girlfriend, or Johnny coming to deliver the week’s set.

When he opens the door, the visitor’s face is blocked by a box, but he knows those shoes. Those white ballet flats with purple bows were always your favorite.

Suddenly the box lowers and Mark is finally face to face with you, his ex-girlfriend. He hasn’t seen your face in the months since you’ve called it quits, even though he’s spent countless moments just staring at the leftover pictures on his phone. You look surprised to see him.

“Oh—Mark. Lucas said you probably wouldn’t be awake.” So you had been keeping in touch with Lucas? This is news to him. Had his best friend been sharing that he had been basically wasting away the past few months without you?

“Couldn’t sleep,” explains Mark almost sheepishly, running a hand through his hair. For a moment he’s glad he had the mind to put on a shirt before coming outside.

“Oh…” You trail, your gaze traveling down to the box absentmindedly.

He doesn’t mean to be rude, but the surprise at seeing you on his doorstep makes him a bit gruff. You’re still the same as before: same face, same shoes, same bright eyes. But there’s something about you, about your aura that’s different. More mature. More independent. Because you don’t need him anymore. “What are you doing here?”

If you’re taken aback by his coarseness, you don’t show it. “I brought a box of your stuff. It’s just... stuff that was left at my house.” You gesture to the box in your hands, and Mark is quick to take it from your arms. He prays you don’t take note of the way his hands shake.

Slowly he places it on the floor next to the door and when he stands again, you’re leaning back and forth on your heels looking rather awkward. He doesn’t ask for an explanation but you give one anyways. You had always had a habit of talking too much when you felt nervous. “I’ve had it since...” Your breakup, but neither of you want to say it. “I put it together a couple months ago but put off bringing it over. But I figured, uh, the school year’s over in a couple weeks so I should just do it. I texted Lucas, he said he’d be awake to grab it but..”

“He’s still asleep,” Mark completes for you.

“Yeah,” you say simply. No longer having a box to occupy your hands, you hold them behind your back which only furthers the idea that you’re uncomfortable in his presence. It makes him sad almost, how much things have changed.

He thinks back to what Lucas had told him at the start of the weekend. Maybe it was possible to change things back to the way they used to be. “Do you want to come inside? I have some coffee, or some—”

You look at him with blinking eyes. “I don’t dr—”

“I know.” He knows you don’t drink coffee. Of course he does. “I have tea. It’s even peppermint, your favorite.”

“You drink peppermint tea?” You look at him, incredulous.

“I don’t. It’s leftover from when I bought it for you. I just... haven’t thrown it out yet.”

That’s what your love had done to him: turned him from a brooding boy into a softened man, so much that he was willing to keep your favorite drink around just in case you’d ever come back and want it.

“Oh,” you sound. Your teeth bite down gently on your bottom lip, gnawing it in contemplation as you look away from him momentarily. When you look back, he can see you’ve made your decision. “I don’t think it’s a good idea, Mark. I’m sorry.”

He expected it, but it doesn’t sting any less. “That’s okay. I understand.” An attempt at a smile is displayed on his face, but it doesn’t reflect any of the radiance in the smile that you mirror back at him. It’s small, the tips of your lips barely lifting, but it’s enough to remind him that you are indeed all that is good in the world, and he needs you. He loves you.

Maybe he can’t love you right now but one day, he’ll be good enough to deserve you. That day isn’t today, but it’ll come eventually. “I’ll see you around,” you say to him.

“I hope so,” is his response.

You give him another small smile before turning to leave. “I hope you’re doing okay, Mark.”

He is, or he’s trying to. When you leave, he closes the door and returns the box to his bedroom before opening it up. Inside, numerous hoodies gifted to you because they became too small for him but were still huge on you. Old songbooks from his high school days that he no longer needed. A teddy bear he had gifted you on your first anniversary.

Pushing the box aside, he grabs a notebook and his music theory textbook. Maybe it actually would do him some good to study.

—THE FIRST TEAR.

“What the hell, Mark?”

You don’t curse often, so when you do, it wakes him. When you find him in his room, he’s knocked out with his body half on the bed and the other half slung over the edge. His hair sticks out in numerous fluffy tufts over his pillow, but you can still smell the weed off of him.

“He only came back like, three hours ago.” He hears Lucas’ voice selling him out, and he groans into the pillow, only lifting his head to grumble at his roommate.

“Snitch bitch,” he says, his voice groggy and scratched.

“Don’t get mad at him,” you suddenly speak up. “At least he answered my calls when I was calling, worried where you were because you hadn’t texted me since,” you stop to check your phone. “5PM last night!”

“I told you, I was going to Johnny’s party,” responds Mark, sitting up in his bed, head still spinning. Rubbing his eyes, he sits up, looking rather disheveled and hungover.

“Yeah, and you never texted me to let me know you were home. How would I have known if you had overdosed, or passed out drunk, or got in a car accident? Or just died?” As your voice rises, reaching a volume you’ve rarely ever employed, you clear your throat to calm yourself and turn to Lucas. “Thanks, Lucas. I appreciate it.”

“Any time,” he responds, giving a nod before walking away, likely disappearing into his room.

When you turn back to gaze into Mark’s room, he’s slipped on a shirt. “What the hell were you doing out so late? 9AM is when you should be waking up, Mark, not falling asleep. Finals are next week, you were supposed to meet me at the library an hour ago!”

He makes an annoyed expression at your chastising, and you gaze at him with expectant eyes, awaiting an explanation. All he does is grimace and say, “Babe, can you like, quiet down? I’m hungover, your voice is too loud.”

Your jaw drops.

For a moment you stay like that, until you continue speaking, words coming out faster than Mark can understand them. “I’m just trying to help, Mark. You’ve partied more than you’ve studied this year, and I’m not going to let you just get away with it. Almost every weekend I have to stay up worrying about you, wondering when you’ll get home, unable to sleep until you text me that you’re home and okay.”

“Maybe you should stop worrying then,” he retorts.

“Maybe stop giving me reasons to worry?”

He rolls his eyes, laying back in his bed. “Maybe you should come with me then.”

You quickly reply, “Maybe you should stop partying.”

“Maybe you should stop trying to control me,” he finally spits.

Once again, you’re rendered speechless. And when you turn your head away, focusing your gaze to the hallway instead of at him, Mark thinks he’s won. But then you sniff, an indication that your sensitive heart has once again been touched with tears. “Please,” you finally say, voice weak. This is the timbre Mark is used to hearing from you, not the tone you had used earlier when yelling at him. In this moment, he’s not sure which one he hates more. “Please stop this.”

In a swift movement you reach forward, gathering yourself on your knees before his bed. You grab his hand, pressing your lips to it as a tear makes its way down your cheek. “Please, please, please… please stop the drugs, Mark. It’s made you this… this terrible person and I know you’re not like this.” Suddenly, you’re crying into the palm of his hand while he gazes at you in surprise. “Missing dates, staying out late, yelling, I know that’s not you.”

“Y/N—”

“Please, just call Johnny and tell him you can’t do this anymore. Tell him you’re done. Please, for me.”

Your begging causes Mark’s jaw to tighten subconsciously. What you’re hoping for is a better Mark, a different person. He’s not that person that you want him to be, he can never be that way. This is how he is and how he’ll always be. This is his fate, to be a lowlife drug dealer barely passing college, and if you can’t handle it then—“You know I can’t do that. You promised you’d be here through everything, all the good and the bad.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m going to let you destroy yourself like this, Mark.”

He rips his hand from your grasp, causing a slight squeak of surprise to leave your lips. It’s almost as if he’s not in control of himself, because he blows up. “Can’t you just be like a good girlfriend and love me through the bad shit? I’m trying my best here.”

But is he really? Suddenly, as though empowered by some kind of intangible strength, you rise to your feet, the sadness in your eyes now quickly replaced by anger. “I do love you, that’s why I’m acting like this, you asshole!” You wipe your tears furiously with the back of your hand before glowering down at him. “But if you can’t keep your mind sober long enough to see that then call me when you can.”

He registers the sound of the bedroom door slamming shut, causing it to ring in his ears. Within the blink of an eye, you’re gone. Fate is a really messed up bitch for this.

—1 WEEK CLEAN.

It’s been a week.

A week since the last time he touched anything, though he had been tempted when Yuta invited him over for some sativa. The drinking and partying isn’t hard to let go of. It’s the weed, because it got him through the hardest days.

A week in, and he’s pretty proud of himself.

Nowadays, he tries to occupy his shaking hands with guitar or studying but he’s started playing so often that his hands are now raw and in pain. Today, because the weather’s nice outside and his fingers hurt like hell, he decides to take a walk.

It’s aimless at first, just exploring the streets around his apartment on foot. But then ten, fifteen, thirty minutes pass, and without knowing it, he’s arrived at his destination. Johnny’s place. Standing in front of the door, eyes boring into the bright red paint of the front door, Mark feels himself start to slip. No, he decides, he has to do this. This is the right thing.

A shaky knock on the door is followed by another stronger one. He waits a minute before trying again, yet as his hand lifts to place another knock on it, it slides open to reveal Johnny himself in casual wear. “Hey,” greets Johnny, giving Mark a nod. “What’s up? I told you I’d drop the next batch off at your place, you didn’t have to come out here.”

At Johnny’s question, Mark feels his breath caught in his throat. Not only is the guy taller than him and towering over him in every aspect, but he could definitely throw Mark under the bus for his own crimes. But no… he wouldn’t do that, right? He had done enough for Johnny over the past three years that he would let him off easily, surely? A gulp is heard in Mark’s throat as he straightens his position in front of Johnny.

“That’s the thing. I… I don’t want to do this anymore.”

For a moment, Mark thinks that the taller man will be angry. Johnny stands before him, eyebrows furrowed. “Why?”

“I just need to.”

Johnny immediately starts to argue, tilting his head. “You know you’re my best seller, though. No one sells as much as you, and I trust you with all the big deliveries. Who am I supposed to give the heroin to now… Ten? As if, Mark.” He scoffs, shaking his head.

“I…” Mark starts, though he stops. “I need to stop. I’ll finish the batch from this week, I promise. I only have like, two deliveries left but I just, it’s not healthy for me. And it’s not because I’m planning to sell you out or anything, or find someone else but I just can’t do this anymore.” He finds himself ranting, finding more interest in anything but Johnny’s face. “I’m not happy, I’m angry and anxious all the time, and being around the drugs only makes me want to do it more, and I just… I just can’t, John.”

When he finishes his unfiltered rant, he looks back to the taller male and tries to read his expression. Will he be angry? If his earlier debate was anything, he definitely wouldn’t let Mark off without a fight.

But instead, the older nods. “I get it. Just finish your deliveries for this week and call it done.”

Mark blinks at Johnny’s easy acquiescence. “T-That’s it? You’re not going to fight more?”

“You want me to?” Johnny asks, cocking an eyebrow that’s almost mocking.

“No, but I…”

“Thought you’d be worth the fight?”

“No, that’s not it.” Mark shakes his head. “I just…”

“Mark,” sighs Johnny, standing straight from where he had been leaning rather casually against the doorframe. “I’m not stupid, okay? I know that drug dealing is hard for you. And I’m also not oblivious, I know that you and your girlfriend broke up, okay? Yuta told me what happened with the coke, and I wasn’t surprised when you refused to sell it anymore.”

Mark frowns even deeper at the mention of it, but Johnny continues. “I’m not going to force you to do something you don’t want to do. If you say it’s not good for you, then it’s not good for you.”

“But…” Mark starts, but doesn’t find the words to continue. It was… that easy. “Okay. Uh, thanks, I guess. For everything?”

“Sure. Just don’t come crawling back when you can’t make rent on your McDonalds’ salary. Male strippers make pretty good money, if you’re interested.” It’s clear Johnny’s joking, so Mark rolls his eyes and laughs, though the sound is somewhat tight.

“I’d love to talk to you some more about ways to get a hustle going, but I have to go find a new dealer, and teach Ten how to stop giving weed to everyone he meets because he thinks they need a pick-me-up.” Johnny sighs, as though the life of a drug dealer is the most difficult of them all, which in Mark’s experience, it might just be.

“Alright. Uh, later, John.”

Johnny nods in acknowledgement before shutting the door. Mark breaths out a heavy breath.

That went… surprisingly well. Maybe Lucas was right, maybe it really was this easy all this time. Perhaps he had always just been the one believing that it was difficult, because he had made it so. He had been stressing over it all this time, but Johnny was more easygoing about it than he’d thought.

As he walks the path home, he thinks he deserves a reward for his endeavors. It’s a bit selfish maybe, but he opens his phone, and you’re on his speed dial.

“Hello?” You ask, voice bright as always but clearly a bit guarded from the name that had flashed across your screen.

“Y/N,” Mark breathes out. It’s only been a few days since you had swung by the apartment.

“Hey, uh… what’s up?”

He doesn’t quite know either. He had quite honestly been a bit impulsive in pressing on your contact, and now that you truly rest across the phone from him, he has no idea what his purpose was. “Um, nothing much, I just wanted to tell you…” A soft breath leaves his lips. Will you be happy for him? “I told Johnny that I quit, that I’m done.”

There’s a momentary pause on the line, and Mark begins to worry that you’ve hung up when you finally breathe out, “That’s good, Mark. I’m… I’m proud of you.”

Proud. He had only been hoping for a “good for you,” at most, but to hear that you’re proud of him, it makes him smile to the ground as he walks the trail back to his apartment. Fuck, you’ve made him weak. “Thanks.”

“I guess you really are doing well then,” you say.

When he gets home, riding the high of his successes from standing up to Johnny to calling you, he flushes his Xanax pills down the toilet and watches as they swirl away into oblivion, as if they had never existed in his life in the first place.

—THE FIRST CRASH.

Mark connects his lips to your neck and suckles on it softly, drawing a moan out of you. The sound you make goes straight to his dick, and he releases a breathy groan against your skin. “Fuck, you sound so pretty, princess.”

Princess—that’s the name he’s given you, because all he wants to do is treat you right. And he does, especially in times like these, where you feel the heat of his body on top of yours and he devours your moans in his mouth.

He currently lays between your spread legs, your combined figure lost in his bed sheets as he softly grinds his hardened core against yours. He’s still got his jeans on while you’re laying only clad in your panties, yet the feel of the denim is enough to have you moaning. You tilt your head back as a light mewl leaves your lips, your body subconsciously grinding down on his.

It had been complete heaven for the both of you when you had given him your virginity, your purity, at the beginning of this year, and since then you have been basically insatiable. You had never felt such desire for anyone before him. Now as his hands rub small circles over your clothed clit, you want him once more.

You’re shaking your head, so needy for him but he doesn’t relent, only smirking more while he continues rubbing sinful circles on your clit. “Tell me what you want.” He wants to hear your beg.

Voice soft and breathy, you say, “Please, Mark, I—”

The doorbell rings. It’s heard through the apartment and Mark groans, rolling his eyes while attempting to keep you going. “Keep going. It’s probably just Lucas forgetting his key again.”

Though the mood was momentarily killed, you both try to fall back into place. Now his fingers have left your clit, instead pulling your panties down to your midthigh. “Shit, you’re soaking,” he moans out in amazement, running a finger through your wet folds. As much as he wants to dive in and fuck you until you’re cumming all over his cock, he needs to hear your sweet voice dripping dirty words for him first. Easily, he slides a finger in, to which you groan at the stretch. But it’s not enough.

“Don’t tease me, please.”

He smirks, slowly sliding his singular digit out of your sensitive core whilst he thumbs your clit. “Go on then, princess. Tell me what you need.”

“Fuck,” you curse and he finds it so hot. “I… I want you to—”

The doorbell again. This time, Mark audibly curses. “Fucking hell,” he sighs, removing his fingers from where you need him. Instead, he moves up and places a sweet kiss on your lips. “I’ll be right back.”

He’s still fully dressed, so he simply opens the door and slips outside before closing it again behind him. As he’s walking down the hall, the doorbell rings once again, causing him to roll his eyes. God, how many times was Lucas going to lose his keys?

The person at the door, however, isn’t his roommate. It’s Johnny, holding a black gym bag. Mark already knows what it is. He runs a hand through his hair, already crazy from how you had been running your hands through it. “Hey, John,” he says, taking the bag clearly in a rush. It’s Sunday, which means Johnny’s dropping off Mark’s deliveries for the week.

“Hey, man,” greets Johnny, handing over the list. Mark doesn’t even bother to check that everything’s there, so the older man raises an eyebrow. “Busy?” He asks, eyeing Mark’s disheveled clothes and the fresh hickey on his collarbone.

“Kind of.”

“Nice. See you next week,” says Johnny with a click of his tongue and a wink, then Mark closes the door and he’s gone. Now, back to what’s important. He slings the strap over his shoulder and makes his way back to his bedroom. As soon as he enters, you look up at him with wide, anticipating eyes.

You’ve pulled your undergarments back on, much to his displeasure. Mark drops the dark bag on the floor in the corner, and your eyes find it. “Johnny came?”

“Yeah. Just dropping off for the week,” replies Mark, his mind not exactly on it as he takes off his shirt, tossing it somewhere. He moves back over your figure on the bed, lips on the curve of your breast fully intending to return things to the intensity they were at just earlier.

Though his lips trail up to meet yours and his hands begin tugging your panties back down, he can tell from the way you’re kissing him that you’re not fully there. So when you moan his name, he knows it’s not out of pleasure. “Mark,” you say softly against his lips.

“Hmm,” he responds, callused hands gripping your thighs and leading them open. He’s about to slip his hand inside your panties, but your hand stops him.

“Can I have some?” When he looks at you, your eyes are not focused on him, but the bag in the corner. Your eyes are faded, clouded as your both ascend to a place of pleasure. You… wanted drugs? Sure, he’s blown a few times in your mouth but in your relationship spanning over a year already, you’ve never directly asked for any.

His dark eyebrows furrow. “Are you sure?”

You bite down on your lip. “What’s in it?”

“I don’t know,” reveals Mark truthfully as he gets off of you and makes his way over to the package, picking it up and placing it on the bed. You’re sitting up now, peering over the bag with interest as he unzips the gym bag open. Though the exterior looks unsuspicious, the bag opens up to reveal bags of white powder and green kush.

Cocaine.

It’s dangerous. Mark gazes down at it, biting down on his lip.

“Is that… cocaine?” You ask, not unaware of the extreme drug sitting in your boyfriend’s room.

He nods, almost ashamed. “Yeah.”

A silence falls over the two of you, both just staring at the white bags. It’s almost unbearable, how much Mark wants to throw the bag away and just resume your activities, but you’re still gazing into the bag with contemplation, fear, and even… curiosity.

“So, can I have some?” You ask again.

Mark sputters for a second, blinking. “Babe. I—are you sure?”

You nod, eyes dark and curious. “Yeah.” At your confirmation, sounding like it was more to assure yourself than him, Mark stares holes into the white substance. It’s filling the bag to the brim—surely whoever he has to deliver it to won’t notice a line’s worth missing.

So it’s with steady yet hesitant hands that he pulls a pack from the bag, directing you. “Grab your credit card,” he says, walking over to his nightstand. Unzipping the bag just the slightest, he pours out a small amount. Just a little bit, he swears.

When you return to his side with your said card in your hand, he takes it from you and lines up the coke on the table. In a neat little line, it’s set up for you. “Okay,” he starts, looking at you. “Just hold down one nostril and—”

“I know how to do it. I’ve seen it at parties.” You interrupt him as you kneel, finally head level with the nightstand. It’s true; the few parties you have attended alongside your boyfriend, there’s more than enough depictions. He watches with interest as you lean forward, holding one side of your nose closed, and snort up the entire line in one go.

First, you cough into the nightstand. When you turn and look at him, you’re wiping the remaining white dust from your nose. “You okay?” Your boyfriend asks you, to which you nod. “It takes a few minutes to work.”

Again, you nod silently, sitting down on the bed and gesturing Mark to come to you. When he approaches, you lay back in his bed, looking up at him with lustful eyes. “Now, hurry up and fuck me.”

The words are so rare from you. It’s all he needs to hear, unbuckling his belt and dragging his jeans to the floor in two swift movements. Within moments he’s back on top of you, feeling your heat once again. He starts slow, pressing kisses to your stomach, breasts, and neck while waiting for the drug to take effect. He knows the exact moment that it begins to work; your pupils immediately dilate, and suddenly you’re a loose, moaning mess underneath him.

Your muscles relaxed, Mark immediately presses a long kiss to your swollen lips while dragging down your panties. He would usually opt for more foreplay, but he’s waited long enough. He pulls away for the shortest moment to slip on a condom, but before you know it he’s already flush against you again.

It feels so good, even just his touch on you. You’re so sensitive, senses heightened by the drug that you feel everything: his large hands on your breasts over your tips, his lips marking your neck. When he leads his dick to your dripping entrance, you watch in anticipation, though you’re shaking.

As he finally slides in, finally filling you up, you tilt your head back and let out a loud moan, the loudest yet. It just feels so good, you feel so full, and he’s so, so deep.

Everything is…. so good. Euphoria creeps into your headspace.

He pulls out, and you moan again. “Ah,” you gasp sharply, feeling every ridge, every muscle stretched as he slides out, only the tip inside you. Then he slams back in, causing your back to arch and your toes to curl. “Oh, fuck,” you moan out again, eyes closed tightly, lost in the pleasure.

Mark’s hand grips at your hips, eyebrows furrowed in focus as he falls into a rhythm. He would have taken some himself, but he wanted to watch you fall apart under him. Suddenly you grab at his free hand, and he intertwines your fingers. You’re squeezing him, his hand and his dick altogether, so tightly as you’re lost in your pleasure.

“Fuck, princess, you feel so good,” he moans out, closing his eyes. He immediately opens them again, not wanting to miss a second of you. “You love my cock, huh?”

Breathless, you nod without words.

“And to think, just a year ago you were an innocent little prude. Now look at you, taking my cock like the slut you are. High on my drugs, fuck—” Mark taunts, moaning aloud as you suddenly clench around him. “Fuck, you feel so tight.”

When he adds his hands to your clit, rubbing the nub in circles the way he knows you love it, the pleasure is heightened for your sensitive body. Your temperature rises, your heartbeat uncontrollable—all the telltale signs of that euphoric high.

A few minutes pass like this, you completely out of it and moaning at the top of your lungs whilst your boyfriend fades in and out of your vision. You grasp onto his arm, tilting your head back. “Mark, I’m—I’m gonna—”

“Do it,” he musters out, never stopping his hips. “Cum for me. Cum all over my cock like the good girl you are.”

And you do, losing it as you tighten around his length, walls clenching repeatedly. This brings him over the edge, cumming into the condom with a shaky breath. He keeps the rhythm going for both your sakes, though his thrusts go erratic as he comes down.

You do the same, your thirty minutes of elation coming to an end soon. As soon as you’ve come down from your orgasmic high, you immediately relax. Your breathing is labored as you relax into his sheets.

Mark pulls from you with a low groan. By the time he’s tossed the condom off into the trash and returned to his bed, you’re already asleep, chest rising softly. A post-cocaine high can do that to you. A soft chuckle leaves his lips as he slides into bed with you, slipping a hand over your waist.

With the way your body fits right into his, one could say you were made for each other. In Mark’s mind, maybe you were.

—3 WEEKS, 6 DAYS CLEAN

His hands shake as he curls the wrapping paper, giving it a soft lick to secure it.

Tomorrow will be four weeks, a whole month since the last time he had done anything. He had passed his exams. After he had thrown the pills away, he was sure that everything would be smooth sailing. But he was wrong.

He’s disappointed in himself, he is. He wanted to be better, but it’s harder than it seems. Lucas would be disappointed in him. You would be too.

Luckily, neither will find out.

Right now he’s tucked in his bedroom away from Lucas with the excuse that he was napping, but he’s not. Instead, he’s wrapping a joint with the leftover weed tucked in his nightstand.

It’s not because he wants to, or because he’s being peer pressured by anyone around him. It’s for one person only—his dad.

On this day, five years ago, Pastor Lee passed away.

The first three years, the hardest ones, he had Lucas. The past two years, he had you.

No—the first three years weren’t hardest to face, this one is. He still has Lucas, but not really. Had he swallowed his pride, had he just told his best friend that he wasn’t okay when he had asked about his father’s death anniversary, things would have been okay. Lucas would have nodded in sympathy, then dropped everything he had to be there for Mark. They’d chill and drink a couple beers—no, not drink, not anymore—but maybe watch a movie and play some games until the day had passed. That would have been bearable.

But that hadn’t happened.

When Lucas had asked Mark how he felt about the day, Mark had lied and blubbered out a, “Oh, was that today? I totally forgot.” Why had he done that? He doesn’t know.

Because he had had too much pride to admit to his friend that he was struggling… Now he’s here, trying to take care of his pain in the only way he has left.

He lights it, fingers still shaking, and his body relaxes into the mattress as he finally gets a taste of the clouded, sinful smoke once more. The only downfall to this is that he knows, oh he knows well, just how much pain that it causes for him and those around him.

—THE FIRST BURN.

Over the years, Mark has grown accustomed to the warmth.

It’s what you do to him, what he associates you with. Your first kiss, despite the cold winter air, warmed his soul from the inside. Whenever he looks at you… there’s a feeling of espousement that explodes within his chest. Yes, he loves you, even if he doesn’t say it often. He doesn’t need to. You know. You’ve opened his eyes to the beauty of love, the exhilaration of showing yourself to someone and being fully accepted. In his life once frozen over with the loss of his father and the death of his innocence, you showed him warmth.

When he wakes, you’re burning up.

More than you should, even with the two of you naked beneath his blankets. You’re sweating, he realizes as he slides his hand, which he had slung around your waist as the two of you drifted into dreamland, over your skin.

You must be hot underneath the blanket, so he starts to slide it off the blanket from your figures. Then he hears it: you cough, the choked sound coming out scratched and labored. Though you’re turned away from him, he can hear the struggle in it. It’s as if… there’s something blocking your throat.

His eyes immediately widen, adrenaline spiking as he sits up, grabs your shoulders, and turns you around. No, no, it can’t be. Where you had been laying, facing the wall, there’s remnants of your vomit, though some had gotten lodged in your throat.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. His fingers grab your wrist. You’re still breathing. You’ve still got a pulse, but it’s fast, too fast. So fast, he can barely count it. “Shit,” he curses. You’re overdosing. You’ve overdosed. Fuck.

It’s the cocaine.

“Y/N,” he calls, voice already loud enough to make the house burst into flames with the amount of desperation he puts into it. Shaking your shoulders, he tries again. “Y/N, baby, fuck—wake up!” When you don’t come to, he turns his head over his shoulder, screaming, “Lucas!”

It’s only the early morning, will he be awake? “Lucas!”

“Mark…?” Your voice draws him out from his panic, and he turns to you with wide eyes. Your eyes, pupils dilated and shaky, fly all over the room. “W-What’s—” You don’t finish, because immediately you’re flinging yourself over the side of his bed and throwing up the remainder of what’s in your throat out on his bedroom floor.

The door slams open. Lucas’ worried face appears. Mark is trembling, breath shaking, and you’re still vomiting over the carpet. At the moment, Mark doesn’t care that the both of you are naked in his bed. “What the hell happened?”

Mark feels himself start to slip away, only a moment from hyperventilating, but he speaks. “Hospital… cocaine—overdose, I—”

“I’ll go start the car.” Lucas is immediately out the door, loud steps running down the hallway to grab his keys. At least somebody is in a stable state of mind. Mark starts to move, standing to dress the two of you, but you grab his arm as he steps out, perhaps using the last of your energy. Your eyes are wild, your mouth parted as you heave heavy, labored breaths.

“I… I can’t breathe—Mark, I can’t,” you start between hurried breaths, but don’t finish. Immediately you go slack, falling back in his bed with closed eyes rolled into the back of your head.

“Fuck,” he curses, immediately throwing on his jeans and sliding your dress over your sweltering body. Though he’s stumbling and racing to gather things, his phone, his wallet, and your’s, he picks you up into his arms bridal style, racing out of his bedroom into the living room.

Flying out the front door, the cold morning air greets him in an unpleasant fashion, only making your perspiring body seem even warmer, reminding him of his faults. Lucas is already sitting in the front seat, ready to go, but Mark throws the two of you in the backseat. At this point you’re completely gone to the world, head thrown back against the cushion as he struggles to put on your seatbelt. It seems like an arbitrary precaution in this case.

As Lucas starts to drive, moving as fast as he can possibly go, Mark clutches your hand. “Baby,” he finally breaths out as reality begins to set in. This is his fault, he did this to you. He doesn’t deserve to hold your hand, so instead he lets go, placing it in your lap before leaning forward to place his head in his hands.

“Oh my fucking god,” he finally lets out, exasperated.

—1 WEEK, 2 DAYS CLEAN

“My name is Hyunjoon, and I am addicted to alcohol. It has been… six weeks since my last drink.”

Mark bounces his leg erratically, glancing around the room. There’s some people he knows, recalling their faces on campus or around town, but some people he's never seen in his life. He’s supposed to reveal himself to these people? He doesn’t belong here.

Or maybe he does. After his last breakdown, it had taken him three days to fess up to Lucas. His friend, though disappointed, was more than understanding. “It’s a long road,” he had told Mark at the time. He said that he knew of an addiction support group in town, and encouraged Mark to attend. He’s right; Mark knows he can’t do this alone.

“Glad to see you’ve gone another week, Hyunjoon. Happy to see you back.”

He’s next, so he stands. “Um,” he starts, rubbing his nape and feeling awfully out of place. “I’m Mark, and I’m addicted to…” he sighs. “A lot of things.”

The kind looking leader of the meeting offers him a smile. “You can share if you’d like.”

He takes a deep breath. There’s so many people, so many eyes. “Mostly weed. I drink a lot, or I used to. I… I was trying to stop everything then I had a—” How to describe it? “Relapse, last week. I don’t think I can do this alone.”

“We commend you for your courage, Mark.” There’s a soft round of applause in the circle. The smiling leader then continues, “We ask everyone who is new to this group, ‘why.’ Why do you want to stop your addiction? Why do you seek help? Besides the obvious reasons that it’s bad for you.”

This question doesn’t take long for him to answer. “I hurt someone. Someone that I really loved, and honestly… I hate myself for it. So I have to stop.”

There seems to be a couple of nods around the circle as Mark sits back down. He releases a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. This will work. Things will be okay. He will get better. He will get you back.

“Thank you for that, Mark. Welcome.”

—THE FIRST REGRET.

Mark finds himself in the same position he had been in earlier in the car, except this time he’s sitting on the floor right outside your room on the hospital floor, hiding his head in his hands. What is wrong with him?

What had he done to you? What had he allowed you to do to yourself?

God, he’s fucked up.

Lucas is inside with you. He had wanted to be there when you woke up, but he couldn’t. He could barely look at his face in the hospital bathroom mirrors; how was he supposed to face you, IVs hooked up to your arms as a result of the drugs that he gave you? It was supposed to be fine, it was just a little bit! It was supposed to help the experience you two were having. But instead, it almost ended your life.

He looks back now. Just two years ago, when you had first met, you didn’t even drink. You’d never been kissed, never been touched. Now he’s… done this to you. He’s despicable. You don’t deserve him. You deserve better.

The door opens, and Mark finally pulls his head up to see Lucas step out with a somber expression. It’s a stark juxtaposition that saddens him, for Lucas is so often the light hearted joking one of the two. “She wants to see you.”

Mark parts his lips, shaky breath exhaling. “I can’t.”

Lucas takes a seat next to him on the floor, sighing. He probably looks crazy, shirtless and puffy eyed on the floor, but his best friend moves next to him anyways. “I know. She’s not angry, you know.”

“That’s the worst part,” mumbles Mark, staring out at the bleak white walls of the hospital in front of them. He doesn’t say much, but Lucas understands him it seems.

“Something’s gotta change, Mark. Something’s gotta give.”

He knows, with a soft nod of his head. Of course, he knows what Lucas means, but what it means to him is different. He has to give something up, and it’s going to be you. Not because he can live without you or because he doesn’t love you, but because it needs to be you. You can’t be around him any longer. You’ll only continue to be hurt.

When this thought finally occurs, and he accepts it, it becomes a little easier to face you.

He rises to his feet. “I’ll… I’ll see you later,” he finally says, twisting the doorknob to your room open.

—1 MONTH, 4 DAYS CLEAN

He doesn’t know why you asked to see him for lunch, but he does know that you look good. You look healthy, you look better than you did that day when he slipped into your hospital room and saw you there, laying lifeless and gray. But that day, you still smiled when you saw him.

You look rather happy, like you’re doing okay without him, though he hopes that’s not that case—no, that’s not a good thing to hope for. He hopes that you’re doing okay, but that you’ll be even happier when you’re together again. Again, you smile at him over your food. Even after all this time, you still look at him like he’s the center of your universe.

Though you had made small talk about your lives, what you were both doing, how your mom is, how Lucas is, and other unimportant things, it’s at the end of the meal when your voice finally sobers, though you keep a smile on your lips.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why I brought you out here.”

“I…” Mark starts, blinking, before nodding. “Yeah.”

You laugh, causing the slightest smile to break out across his lips. It’s still the same laugh you had, that fated night when you met. “I just wanted to see you again. And talk. We haven’t talked in a while.”

Mark’s smile turns into a bittersweet simper. “I thought that was because you didn’t want to talk.” Though you had spoken to him on that phone that one day, he had chalked that up to you being polite when he suddenly called.

“Well, at first, yeah, but you know it’s been almost a year since we broke up and… I had some things I wanted to tell you.” Him too, but he’s not entirely sure he’s at his best just yet. Nevertheless, he smiles and nods.

“I’m listening. You know I always am.”

You take a moment or two to simply stare at him with thoughtful eyes as you think over your words. All the while, your sweet smile never leaves your roseate tiers. Finally, hands folded over your lap, you start.

“Thank you.”

Mark blinks, but you continue. “I know that we didn’t end off on the best terms but I wanted to make sure you knew that I was thankful for you. For having you. You’ve done a lot for me. You’ve taught me a lot, and I can’t thank you more for everything you’ve done.”

You blink repeatedly, eyes fluttering before you continue, which leads Mark to think that these words might be just as emotional for you as they are for him. “Thank you for teaching me love. Because of you, I’ve grown a lot and become a better version of myself. A stronger one. I’m really thankful that you were my first everything: my first real date—” His mind flies back to that night. That movie really was a horrible movie.

“My first kiss.” Does it feel right, now? Yes. Can I kiss you? Yes.

“My first time.” It was awkward, but it felt, as it always did, right.

“Thank you, for being the first guy I loved. I really… really loved you, Mark. But most of all,” you say, gazing at his wordless figure with those eyes of yours. They’re not as innocent and naive as they used to be. They’re matured now, hardened, but still, the sparkle is there. The same sparkle that had attracted him that night, three years ago, with that damned white dress.

“I forgive you.” Mark releases a shaky breath. “For everything. I don’t want you to blame yourself anymore. It’s not your fault, really. I’m better now, I’m healthy. Please, don’t hurt yourself anymore because of me.”

“Y/N, I—”

“I met you in my first year here. We’re going to be seniors, Mark. We’re going to graduate and be thrown into the real world, where there’s real consequences. I don’t want the consequences of what happened to weigh you down. I just want to move on, and you deserve to move on too.” From the glint in your eye, it’s clear how long you’ve pondered over these words.

He wants to reach out to you, to grasp you and bring you back to him. Because he’s trying to let go of the past so that he can focus on loving you fully as you are.

Sure, you can forgive him, but he needs to forgive himself first. He’s not quite fully well yet. He has to be patient.

A soft exhale leaves his lips. “Thank you. For forgiving me.”

Yet another sweet, beautiful smile spreads across your lips. It’s the smile that haunts Mark’s dreams. “You’re welcome. And thank you again for everything.” As the waitress appears, returning Mark’s credit card that he had graciously used to pay for the meal, you stand with your bag.

No, you can’t be leaving just yet. “Stay in touch, okay, Mark?”

But he has to let you leave. The day will come when it’s right. “Yeah,” he manages, swallowing the lump in his throat. Yet as he watches you walk away, he can feel that that string of fate he had always believed tied the two of you together slowly wearing, twisting, breaking.

—THE FINAL TEAR.

“What do you mean we should break up?”

Your voice is scandalized, angry. Mark simply keeps his gaze to the living room floor, eyebrows furrowed in complete unhappiness. He never wanted it to end like this, but he’s run horrible with thoughts that the things he did brought pain to you. It’s time to end it. Not because he wants to, but because he should.

“We just should,” he responds bleakly. “After what happened, I think it’s clear that we’re not good for each other.”

It’s been a month now since you’ve been discharged from the hospital. After you had convinced your doctor that you weren’t addicted to drugs and in need of rehab, you had gone home. Mark had luckily had enough saved to pay off your hospital bills; neither of you wanted your parents knowing. “Mark, it’s okay. I told you it’s okay!”

“No, it’s not. It’s not just because of the overdose. Things have been like this for a while now.”

You attempt to grab his hand. If he allows himself to bask in just one moment of your kindness, he’ll give in. You beg, “Mark, please, hang on for me, for us. I promise things will get better, things can change.”

He snaps, pulling his hand from your’s. Your eyes widen up at him, shocked and appalled at his sudden movement. “No! Can’t you see? You didn’t even take that much. I took more coke in my first snort than you took in that entire line. The overdose shouldn’t have even happened, but look, it did. This is wrong.”

“What, the drugs? I’ve been telling you that. Please, we can get better. We can find help.” The fact that you’re still pleading him with kind, gentle eyes, makes this all worse. It only further proves that you’re good. He’s not.

“No, not the drugs. Us.”

“Us?”

He runs a hand through his dark hair, shaking his head in frustration. “We’re not right for each other. This isn’t working.”

“What do you mean? Tell me why.”

“We’re just not… destined to be together. What happened, it was God’s way of telling us that this is not right. We’re not right for each other,” he explains, voice exasperated as he tries his best to explain the mess of his thoughts.

This seems to take you aback, your voice finally rising. “Oh, so now you care what God thinks?”

No, not really. But sometimes he has to listen. He doesn’t respond, so you continue. “I’ve been more than willing to make this work for two years, Mark. You think any of this was easy for me? My first boyfriend and he’s a freaking drug dealer for God’s sake. I tried to take it all because I loved you! I took care of you when you were hungover, I waited around shady areas at night so that you could drop off deals, I stuck with you for everything. Fuck,” you shout, causing Mark to tense. You rarely curse, and based on your usage of it now, he knows just how upset you are. “I even overdosed and I’m still here. Yet it’s always you pushing me away, making it difficult. Why are you running away from us?”

He’s not running away. “I’m not running away,” he declares. “I’m letting you run away.”

“And what makes you think I need to run away from you?”

“Because! You heard yourself, don’t deserve those things. You should have someone to take care of you when you’re sick, not always be the one fixing me when I’m sick. You should have someone to walk with you through the shady areas. That’s not me. I’m not… right for you.” He finally spits it out, eyebrows tightened together as he releases the thoughts that have been on his mind for a month now.

You’re silent for a moment, taking in his words with your arms crossed over your chest. When you speak, your voice has returned to its normal speaking volume. “You told me that you believed in fate, that you believed in us. Is this fate? Fate that we met, and fell in love, and broke up? Is it fate that you hurt me over and over again and I came back, every single time? Because if that’s fate…” A single tear falls from your eyes, though you wipe it away so it’s as if it never even existed. It seems even you have some pride now, not to cry in front of him. “It seems like your idea of fate is pretty messed up.”

Mark takes a large breath, looking away to gather his thoughts before looking back to you. You’ve both come so far since that night, the image of her clouded by the purple lights, the energy of the party. Now, all that glamour is stripped away. It’s just you and him, as you are. “You had to meet someone like me, so you can know what you deserve.”

“So that’s it? You’re just going to call it quits, and blame it on destiny?” Your tone is mocking, questioning his reasons and probably his sanity.

“I’m not calling it quits,” he immediately retorts, responding sharp and quick. “I’m letting you go.”

“No,” you say as you approach him. “You’re giving up. On us, on everything we worked hard to build. Our trust, our relationship, everything.” Your finger digs into his chest, pointing an accusing blame. “I broke up with you,” you emphasize. “Not the other way around. I broke up with you because you tugged me around, you pushed me away, and you never listened to me. I got tired of it, and broke up with you.”

With that, you pull away from him, though when he finally comes to realize the weight of the conversation you just had, he sees you grabbing your bag and slipping your white ballet flats with purple bows on. “Y/N.”

He wants to say he’s sorry, because it wasn’t supposed to be like this. He hadn’t planned for the conversation to go up in flames.

Whenever you walked out during arguments, there was always a promise to call later, to talk when your minds were stable. But now, as you turn over your shoulder, walking out of his apartment and life, you muster a goodbye.

“Don’t call me.”

—3 MONTHS CLEAN.

“Senior year!” Lucas yells as he throws open the front door with the power of the Hulk, startling Mark who’s still unpacking some boxes of cookware in the kitchen. “It’s our time, time to shine!”

A soft laugh leaves Mark as he places some cups in the cupboard. He and Lucas had left their apartment for two months for the summer to return to their homes, but here they are, back and ready to take on their final year. They had finished middle school and high school together, and now they’ll graduate college together. It makes Mark smile.

As he leaves the kitchen to greet his best friend in the living room, he sees that the guy has already brought in a number of his boxes. “Hey, man,” calls Mark, who leads Lucas in for a dap.

“Hey yourself, you barely talked to me this summer,” Lucas chastises playfully. “Ignoring me, I see.”

Mark laughs, shaking his head. “Not ignoring, just… working on myself.”

“Good,” responds Lucas, turning to bring in the rest of his boxes. Yes, Mark had spent the entire summer dedicating himself to the lost cause that was himself. He started working out again, got a job, and even worked on rebuilding his relationship with his mother. Things were looking up for him.

He feels ready. Lucas’ voice interrupts his thoughts. “Hey, wanna take a break and get some food?”

His question meets a raised eyebrow from Mark. “You just got here, like, two minutes ago.”

“And?”

A laugh leaves Mark’s lips, and he shakes his head. “Nothing. But, uh, I can’t. I was going to go… see Y/N.”

“Oh?” asks Lucas, leaning down to tear the tape on one of the dark cardboard boxes filled to the brim, probably with Lucas’ pillows; the man was like a giant baby, sleeping with ten pillows. “You called her and asked to meet up?”

“No,” responds Mark, who follows these words with a deep breath. “I’m going to go see her.”

Lucas stands straight once more, his playful expression from earlier now serious. He shoots Mark a soft smile, patting him on the shoulder. “Nice. I’m happy for you. Are you leaving now?”

“Uh, yeah, I was planning to go after I put all the kitchen stuff away.”

Lucas’ grin grows even wider, stretching from ear to ear as he gives Mark a little pat on the bum, which is supposed to be encouraging. “Well, then go get her, tiger! Good luck, man,” he yells supportively as he pushes Mark out the door.

As he shuts the door, Mark blinks. “Dude! I don’t even have shoes on! Or my car keys,” he laughs, banging on the door.

Some time later, Mark finds himself hesitating as he parks his car a block down the street from your sharehouse, the same place he had kissed you, that many years ago. He doesn’t even know if you still live here. You had been broken up since the beginning of your junior year, who knows if you had decided to move out?

He contemplates this as he walks down the sidewalk to your place, hands in his pockets and gaze on the floor. Surely, if you’re not there, one of the girls will point him in your direction? Hopefully.

Oh, but you are there. As your home comes into view, he sees you. You’re there on the front porch, dressed in a simple white skirt and the same white ballet flats with purple bows that you can never seem to grow out of.

But you’re not alone.

There’s a man with you, though his back is turned to Mark’s view. He blinks. His steps stop completely. Surely it could be anyone right? A neighbor? A classmate?

But that’s impossible. Not because class doesn’t start for three days or because you and him met the neighbors on all sides of your house, but because you lean up on your toes, the way you always did with Mark himself, and kiss the stranger’s cheek.

It would have been easy to lie to himself, but then it’s much too clear. He realizes it then as he stares, only a few steps away from the path that would have led to your steps, the steps he took when walking you back on your first date, intertwined hands swinging between the two of you.

He’s too late. Maybe much too late.

He was a fool all this time. Thinking that he could be better for you, that he could defy fate with his free will and urge the universe into letting you be together. Lucas was wrong; life isn’t free will, neither is love.

This is his fate, there’s no use denying it.

He stands staring for a few moments, simply gazing in complete desolation at the sight before him. This is it, this is the end. He’s ready to submit to his poor fate, the internalized idea he’s housed that he’d never be able to find a love like yours ever again, but then you see him, probably because he stands out like a stain of black paint on the green canvas of your lawn.

He doesn’t hear you, but your lips form his name, “Mark?” and your eyes blink in confusion.

He doesn’t wait too long anyways, for he’s already turned on his heels back to his car. Fuck fate and its tendencies, giving hope where there will only be heartbreak.

—SOMEWHERE BETWEEN THE FIRST TEAR AND THE FIRST CRASH.

The smell of you invades his senses, but he doesn’t care. It’s one of the first nights in a long time where you’ve agreed to go to a party with him. Though other girls beg for his attention, he’s still only got his eyes on you. Your outfit tonight is much too nostalgic.

“You know,” he whispers in your ear, dancing against your backside with a hand on your waist. “You look best in white.”

“I know,” you respond, chuckling whilst dancing back against him. He had taught you how to dance a while ago, and you just keep getting better and better.

“You wore this dress on purpose, didn’t you, you little minx,” he teases, though a playful laugh leaves his throat. His words draw a knowing giggle from you, and Mark feels as though he could get drunk on the sound alone.

“Maybe,” you respond back, turning and pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. This is when Mark gets a good look at you.

It’s so easy to remember the way you first appeared to him, standing awkwardly in a corner of a party just like this. This time the lights decorating the aura of this party are not purple, but his heart is all the same. You’re wearing the same outfit now, definitely at this point to tantalize him and tease him; you loved to make fun of him after he told you that he had fallen for you because of that dress alone.

But you’re different now.

You’re brighter, taller, more mature. Now you are not just your person carrying your own thoughts, but his as well. You know him, know his thoughts and his feelings, know his worries without asking. Your smile is bigger, it reaches your eyes more now than it did that first night, a forced simper at the strange guy coming to flirt with you. You dance with more confidence, you carry with yourself a quiet strength despite your hesitant nature.

He loves you. God, he loves you. He tells you just as much.

With a hand over your hip, he pulls you close. You think he’s going to press another tipsy kiss to your lips, but he doesn’t. Instead he brushes his lips to your ear and he whispers, so softly you would have missed it if you hadn’t been purposely filtering the party’s music to focus on his voice: “I love you.”

You blink, and stop your dancing. It’s the first time he’s ever said this to you.

“Mark…” you start, lips parting in surprise, but he’s pulled away to smile sweetly at you. It’s not flirtatious, the kind of smile he gives you before attempting to pull you in the bathroom for a quick one. Nor is it the knowing grin he shoots before guiltily asking you to go refill his drink. It’s a small one that barely touches the tips of his lips, and the look alone makes your heart melt in espousement. “I… I love you too.”

You had told him, of course, the other month when you had tore him apart in his bedroom after finding him hungover. But this time it’s real, and in the future you both will choose to remember this as the first time.

Some might think that it’s unorthodox to confess such strong feelings such as love in the middle of a party, sweltering with the heat of dancing bodies and the musky smoke in the air. But for the two of you, it doesn’t matter. It’s just you two in here; you only see each other.

—3 MONTHS CLEAN, ONE HOUR LATER.

Mark’s currently in his room, completely bare except for his bed and desk, sulking away. When he had returned home with a bitter lilt in his steps, Lucas didn’t need any explanation, stepping out to “meet Yuqi.”

Of course, it had been Lucas who had put him in this place of thinking he could get you back but in the end, it was only himself that he had to blame. He never had the chance, it was his fault for thinking he ever did.

He’s learned his lesson.

It’s only an hour later when Lucas knocks on the door again. Fuck, Mark thinks inwardly while rolling his eyes. It’s only the first day back, has this giant managed to lose his keys, again? He makes his way out to the door, already preparing to give Lucas hell for being so irresponsible, but Lucas never makes his appearance at the door.

“Y/N.”

“Mark, I’m sorry, but—”

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shown up at your place uninvited.” He’s quick to interrupt you, shaking his head. It’s easy to pretend to be strong; he just needs to maintain a strong front until he shuts the door again.

“It’s not that, I—”

“I won’t do it again, I promise. I know you said you wanted to move on and I shouldn’t be surprised, it just hurts to see it, and so, I’ll—”

“Mark—”

“I hope that you’re very happy, and that he can make you happier than I di—”

“That’s my brother, you daft idiot!” You finally cut him off, voice rising to a volume louder than his. He had flinched at your sudden peak in volume. You give him a pointed look, and when he doesn’t dare speak again, you continue. “That’s my brother, Mark. He helps me move in every year, you know that!”

That’s true, he does know that. And he’s met your brother many, many times. Shit, he realizes.

“... Oh.”

“Mark Lee, you think I could move on from you that quickly? It’s been like, two months!” You scold him, as if the idea is preposterous.

“Well,” he reasons. “Technically we broke up a year ago.”

You seem to have the energy to argue back. “Okay, but I only really let you go when school ended this year.”

The two of you stare at each other for a long moment following your words, before you both start to laugh. You crack first, trying to remain serious when all you want to do is envelope him in a hug, for how could you ever love anyone else? You can’t even imagine trying to date anyone right now. He follows right after, shoulders relaxing as you start to chuckle.

“We look insane right now, you know,” he says, sighing as his chortle comes to an end.

“Yeah, and I’m insane because I drove like a madwoman chasing after my ex because he saw me with my brother,” you say with a pointed tone, to which Mark sighs.

“Okay, in my defense, I saw him from behind, and you are awfully touchy with your brother!” He starts, when you begin to laugh again, pure amusement breaking out across your visage. Wow, just five minutes ago he had been regretting all his life decisions, yet here he was with you again, making conversations like you had years ago in your relationship.

When the laughter dies down, the two of you are left staring at each other, and reality sets in. Yeah, he had run away when he saw you with your brother of all people, and you had chased after him, your ex. Where does that place you?

Mark speaks first, breaking the short silence. “I’m sober now, you know. I haven’t done anything, anything at all, in three months now.”

Surprise seems to claim your face at the revelation, and he’s not sure if he should feel proud that he managed to shock you with his success or saddened that it seems to be that much of a surprise. “Oh?” Your surprised expression is replaced with a smile. “I’m proud.”

He nods, unsure what to say next, but luckily you add on, “What made you decide to stop?” You’re undoubtedly reminiscing on all the times you had begged him to give it up, to which he would stubbornly resist.

“You.”

Your features contort into an incredulous expression. “Me.”

“Really,” Mark urges. “I…” he pauses, preparing himself for the words about to leave him. He had long pondered over this moment, wondering if it would truly happen. “I lost you, and I know that I said it was because we weren’t meant to be together but somewhere along the line I realized, I can live without weed, and parties, and alcohol but I can’t live without you.”

“Mark…” You start, lips parted as you grow silent.

“No, please, let me finish, I don’t want to take all the credit because it was Lucas who had to come and knock some sense into me and make me see: sure, fate can be real and that soulmate shit might be real too because I believe you’re mine, but I know that everything is a choice, including love.” His mention of Lucas has you smiling, and he has no doubt Lucas has talked to you recently, attempting to be the middleman once more. “I love you, there’s no doubt about that, I love you more than I love partying, my friends, or anything. And if I love you that much, there’s nothing that can keep me from you.”

He grasps at your hands, and thankfully, you don’t pull away. “Not God, not fate, not anybody. Only me. I was the only thing keeping us apart. I want to be with you, I want to make things better, and I promise… I promise I’ll do everything in my power to be the best for you.” Mark takes a deep breath, taking a moment to glance down at his hands holding yours before looking back to your eyes. “I can’t promise that I won’t have relapses. But I promise that as long as you’re there for me, I will be there for you. I’ll walk you through the shady areas, I won’t run away.”

“Mark—”

“I don’t know if my words will be enough for you to take me back but I swear to you on my entire being that I will be here—”

“Geez, Mark does sobriety make you extremely prone to interrupting, or what?” You butt in, but you laugh, looking up at him with sparkling eyes. Whether it’s you natural shine or tears building in your eyes, neither of you know. “Don’t even go there, or explain anymore. Of course I’ll take you back, you idiot. You think I would chase after you like that if I didn’t think about running back to you every day?”

This causes him to laugh. “I’m glad you didn’t. I wasn’t ready. I was waiting until I was good enough to run to you.”

“You ran away earlier,” you point out teasingly, and he rolls his eyes, pulling you close over the threshold of his apartment.

“That was the last time.”

Your hands find his chest, resting upon the expanse of it as you look up at him with a cheeky smile. “Better be, mister.”

“Oh,” he muses, as you wrap your fingers around the fabric of his shirt and all feels right again. “You’re bold.”

“A year apart does that to you,” you smile, still a hint of shyness on your lips as you finally tug him in, kissing him. You melt into him and his hands immediately find themselves on your hips, just where they belong.

Oh yes, there it is again, that feeling of euphoria. You’re the only drug, the only high he needs.

#NCT-WRITERS #mark lee angst #mark lee smut #mark smut #mark lee x reader #mark lee fanfic #nct angst #tw: smut #tw: drugs #tw: drinking

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star-suh · 7 days

Text

5-way ticket

Johnny Suh, Lee Taeyong, Mark Lee & Nakamoto Yuta x Male Reader

cw: idol au; tops johnny, taeyong, mark and yuta; unprotected sex, breeding, facial, dumbification, musk kink, degradation, praising, feminization.

an: lowkey think this is a mess, writing 3+ -somes is so hard so ntm. also this is the only fivesome you would see in this account.

—

today it's the day where yn finally would see his favorite group, nct 127, at concert. he also won a vip ticket so he can go and meet them backstage.

yn went greeting each member and talking to them one by one but he felt something different when he talked to johnny, yuta, taeyong and mark… their stares were like those of a hunter looking for a prey…

it was time to say goodbye when mark suddenly whispered in a sexy low voice “see you here after the concert” his breath tickling yn's neck.

“fuckk!! i knew he was good for this” moaned johnny impaling his huge dick inside yn's hole.

“damn he really is” mark said while mouthfucking the fanboy.

yn felt like he was in paradise, having 4 cocks just for him; one in his mouth, other in his ass and the other two on each hand. their musk was like a drug for yn, it made him more eager to just be used by the four all the time they want.

they idols decide to rotate every once in a while, johnny would now put his cock in yn's right hand while yuta would now fuck his mouth, mark moves to the left hand and taeyong rims his ass to fuck him minutes later.

they rotate again, mark didn't waste time and put all his dick in at once “how are you still so tight after taking two dicks already” he started to jerk off yn while thrusting harshly.

“open up for me whore” yuta taps yn's thighs and the fanboy obeys, he clenches his hole into nothing as if it's asking impatiently for yuta's cock. he rubs the tip against the abused hole, yn whimpered impatiently with taeyong's dick stuffing his mouth.

minutes passed and the idols still were at it, yn was regretting it now they had a lot of stamina. being double penetrated back to back by every member has left his hole gaping and dripping a mix of fluids. every cock managed to brush his prostate making him seeing stars for how good he was being fucked. “i'm about to cum” yuta said introducing his cock quickly inside yn's ass and came inside he kept thrusting to ride his high. “move let me churn it and add some more” mark winked at yuta and fucked yn until he came inside. next it's the turn for taeyong and johnny while taeyong fucked the ass, johnny fucked the mouth. “you did so well prince” johnny praised while slapping his cheek lightly, “yeah… thank you for letting us use your boy-pussy” taeyong added emptying his balls inside, every throb of his cock making yn squirm in pleasure. “shit” johnny pulled his cock out quickly, leaving it resting on yn's face spurting ropes of thick cum on his face.

the other day yn woke up in a hotel room, the pain on his lower back killing him but it was worth it, not all days you get to be fucked by a member of your favorite group “hell, i was lucky i got four of them inside me”, he stood up from the bed ready to go to the shower when he found a little card with a number on the nightstand next to him “call us whenever you want to have a really fun time”.

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purple-baby-d · 3 years

Text

overthinking over you.

Lee Donghyuck (Haechan — NCT) X female reader.

Genre: Fluff, smut.

Word count: 8,672.

Content: student!hyuck, student!reader, sportplayers!nct, kissing, first time sex (male), dry humping, foreplay, fingering, depictions of violence that may be upsetting for some readers, I kinda made Johnny a dick so sorry to y’all beforehand, just some lovely and probably cringey au to have a valentine’s day feast before valentine’s day because I realized I haven’t written an au for my best friend in a while and the 90′s Love era Haechan has been attacking me for long enough so I decided to do something about it.

Brief: Captain of the hockey team, Honor Roll student, an amazing friend and the pride and joy of his parents, Lee Donghyuck certainly has it all to other people’s eyes, but what about the girl he’s dreamed of? No, he’s pretty much a great overthinker for that. But now that she broke up with her boyfriend, will his head get on the way of him getting to her heart?

Dedicated to @theravengoddess, happy Valentine’s day, bestie! I love you and thank you for being with me through the ups and downs 💜

After some long hours of practice, the hockey team was finally sent to the lockers by the coach, the old man’s chest was filled with pride by his back-to-back champion, the Neo Cultural Tech All-Stars. But of course, he didn’t want his players to slack off, so he wouldn’t let them know that.

The man of the hour, Lee Donghyuck, got out of his warm shower to dress up and go home, finding his fellow team players in the lockers. “Hey, nice practice today, Hyuck”, Jeno complimented, patting his shoulder. “Thanks, man. You were quite impressive out there too”, he smiled at him. “You guys wanna crash at my place to study for the finals? My last brain cell died trying to figure out the Algebra study guide”, Mark sighed, pulling his red hoodie down as he slipped his arms into the sleeves. “I’m down, I seriously need divine help for that one”, Sungchan said, tying the laces of his sneakers. “Me too, the question is if our savior will be there to help us”, Yangyang teased, looking at his team captain.

The blonde looked at him with a little smile, shaking his head. “You guys are truly a pain in the ass”, he sighed. “Oh, come on, Hyuck! I’ll pay for the pizza”, Yangyang pleaded, truly concerned about his grades. “You know if I don’t get at least a B, I won’t be able to stay in the team, what are you gonna do without your heartthrob?” he asked while pouting and batting his eyes. “But WinWin has good grades”, Mark teased, making his fellows laugh and Hyuck sigh. “Fine, but if you start staring at your phone instead of studying, I will whoop your ass”, Donghyuck agreed, and the rest of them high-fived each other.

“Ayo, Ten!”, Mark called out, looking at the guy who had just gotten out of the shower. Donghyuck saw something weird in him, he looked as if he was in a rush. “We’re having a group study session at my place, Hyuck will help us with the Algebra study guide, you down?”, he asked. “I’ll have to pass, guys. Johnny is pissed, it seems like he and Y/N broke up”, he said, making Donghyuck stop in his tracks, shocked. “What? What for?”, Mark asked again, concerned for Ten’s stepbrother, the star of the school’s martial arts team. “You know Johnny, she probably found out he cheated on her or something, but I’m still his brother, so I gotta be there for him”, Ten sighed, getting dressed within five minutes with his hair still dripping wet. “Anyways, maybe the next time, take care, y’all!”, he said before rushing out of the lockers’ room.

Jeno looked at his blonde friend, knowing exactly what he was probably thinking. His seemingly hopeless love was finally available again, how exciting was that? However, he looked rather terrified, and it was because his overthinking head was working at full speed.

Oh God, is she okay? Did Johnny hurt her badly? Should I text her? What if she doesn’t wanna talk about it? What if she doesn’t wanna talk at all? What if she doesn’t like boys anymore after this? Irene started dating Seulgi after Junmyeon broke up with her, what if Y/N does that too? Should I go with her? But I already told the guys I would help them... Jesus, Lee Donghyuck, you’re such an idiot.

Lee Donghyuck had many virtues, sadly his biggest enemy was his head.

“Guys, I think we lost him”, Sungchan said, as he saw Donghyuck spacing out. “What?” he said, once he realized his surroundings. Mark patted his shoulder, “Lee Donghyuck, you’re truly one of a kind. If y’all ready, let’s go”, he said, and their group left the lockers and headed to the parking lot, where everyone got into Donghyuck’s black Jeep to head off to Mark’s place. However, the team captain was still thinking about his long-time friend, who he’s had a crush on for the longest time. He simply shook it off, he was a man of his word, so he would help his friends and once they’re done with studying, his head would be clear enough to know what to do.

Because there was nothing better for Lee Donghyuck to clear his mind than a good Algebra study guide.

“Oh, man, thank God it’s over!”, Sungchan yawned, stretching after finishing the last problem of the study guide and the last slice of pizza left on the third box, “I get it all now, how did you do that?”, Yangyang asked, looking at Donghyuck with utter confusion. “Well, it’s quite simple if you actually get your head in it”, the blonde replied, saving the study guide back in his backpack before grabbing his phone, still wandering between texting you or not. It wouldn’t be weird, you’ve known each other since kindergarten and been friends for years. However, your ex-boyfriend, the widely-known playboy Seo Johnny, had kept you from talking ever since you started dating last summer, and honestly, Donghyuck didn’t want you to have problems because of him.

He loved you a lot to do that.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow, Jeno, do you want a ride?”, you asked the only one within your group you knew didn’t plan on staying over at Mark’s or lived close enough to walk home. Jeno logically nodded, picking up his bag and saying his respective goodbyes. Of course, something seemed to click in Jeno’s head when Donghyuck offered to give him a ride home: you lived in front of his house. Obviously, he wasn’t going to point that out, knowing Donghyuck, he would take back his offer, and he honestly didn’t want to walk the ten blocks that distanced Mark’s place to his.

“You think I should talk to her?”, Donghyuck asked halfway through, looking at Jeno briefly as they got to a red light. Jeno sighed, taking his sight away from the window to look at his friend. “Honestly, Hyuck? You’ve been in love with her since fifth grade, you should gather the balls to tell her once and for all, it’s so fucking frustrating to deal with your overthinking ass head”, he replied, taking a deep breath afterward. What hurt Hyuck the most was knowing that he was right and that even after all those years, he’d always see you run into another guy’s arms.

First, it was Lucas, your boyfriend from sixth to eighth grade. He had a wealthy family and was the school’s fencing champion. And then, it was Johnny, who you’d been with since barely months after you broke up with Lucas. Sadly, it has always been the same for Donghyuck: as soon as he gathers the courage to ask you out, you’d already started dating someone else. You have a long, toxic relationship with the new guy, he breaks your heart, you go to him. It was the routine he was used to, the routine his thoughts reserved for him every time. But after parking his car in front of Jeno’s house, he decided that was about to change.

“You sure you’re okay? I’m sorry if I said something-”, Jeno tried to apologize, but Donghyuck cut him off. “It’s alright, Jen. You said what was in your head and I respect that, mostly because you’re right”, he sighed, looking down for a while before taking a deep breath and reaching out his hand for a small handshake with his friend. “I’ll see you tomorrow”, he grinned, as Jeno got out of the car. “Thanks for the ride, drive home safely!”, the raven-haired boy exclaimed as he walked into his house. Donghyuck stayed outside for a while, and while he did, he sighed as he kept thinking what was the right thing to text you.

But decided to let all of that go, he just typed the first thing that came to his head and pressed sent, locking his phone so he wouldn’t keep looking at it on his way home.

“Johnny is a dick, and I think it’s time for me to say I told you”, Wendy laughed as you simply shook your head. Yeah, they all warned you, it’s true. But the truth also was you never really had super strong feelings for Johnny, nor Lucas, nor for any of the boys you’ve dated before. But then, why would you date them? Because you weren’t a fan of loneliness, and even though most of those guys were assholes —especially and at a ridiculous level, Johnny—, they wouldn’t miss the most stupid excuse to be with you when you were alone, which sadly because of your parents’ job was pretty often. “Yeah, I know I should’ve listened to you, Wen” you rolled your eyes as you threw one of your stuffed animals at your friend.

But as soon as she threw another one back, specifically the bear with the hockey team’s uniform, your eyes were about to bawl out. “Hey, be careful with this one!” you said, making sure it was still in perfect conditions. All of your friends looked at you, quite taken aback by your reaction. However, Demi, your neighbor, smiled a little before explaining your reaction. “All the other stuffed animals were from the idiots, but Lee Donghyuck gave her that one”, she sat next to you, as you both smiled while looking at each other. “Lee Donghyuck? As in the hockey team’s captain, Lee Donghyuck?”, Joy asked, quite excited. You nodded, letting out a small sigh as you thought of him.

“I’ve heard he’s gay, I mean, he hasn’t gone public about a relationship like... ever? And besides, he has rejected every girl that’s asked him out”, Irene said, quite as nicely as ever. “No offense, I mean, I’m obviously an ally... but, how come such a hot piece of cake like him has never dated someone?”. Seulgi looked at her girlfriend, quite shocked at her way to describe him. “Jeno told me he has a crush on someone since fifth grade, but he’s quite an overthinker, he needs to ask his left foot before moving the right one”, Demi chuckled, “But I think that’s cute, he’s been a good friend to Y/N as far as I’m concerned, and if he ever decides to step out of his shell, I bet he will be the exception to the all athletes are idiots rule”.

This last phrase stayed in your mind as Seulgi, Irene, Wendy and Joy left, as they had told Yeri they would go over to her house for a good spiriting session before the cheerleading championship you’d enroll into in a few weeks. You passed, you were scared as hell of those things, and honestly, you preferred to spend some quality time with your neighbor before she went overseas to a musical exchange program. “Ugh, I’m gonna miss you so much, bitch”, you said as you hugged her, making her chuckle. “Hey, I’ll be sending you as many pictures as you want, and I’ll buy you gifts while I’m there, I promise I’ll try every single street food dish London has to offer just for you”, she said, letting out a sigh as she watched through your bedroom’s window. “I’ll miss you and Jeno so much...”, she muttered. You playfully pushed her, “Hey, you’re with your wife right now! Stop thinking about your boyfriend, say you’ll miss me!”, you yelled at her as you both laughed.

Your phone vibrated as a message arrived, and you grabbed it from its previous spot in your bed. As you read who it was from, you simply smiled, something your friend didn’t miss out on. “Let me guess, it’s your gay best friend”, she mocked you, referring to Irene’s comment on the rumors about his private life. You simply looked at her for a second to return your attention to the text.

You typed the answer quickly, quite excited about the fact that he texted you first when it was usually the other way. Demi stared at you while you wrote the message, quite unsure as to why you looked so hyped up.

Hyuckie:

Hey, I heard about you and Seo, I’m sorry.

You felt a pillow being thrown your way, and you looked up only to find your friend looking at you, pretending to be pissed. “Hey, you’re with your wife right now! Stop texting your crush, let’s watch a movie!”, you laughed again at your silly “jealous” attitudes, and ended up turning on your laptop to watch a movie before going to bed.

You:

Hey... it’s fine, I was warned but I still did it.

How are you? I kinda missed you.

Of course, you’d chosen strategically to play the one movie Demi falls asleep watching so you could read Donghyuck’s answer to your texts, and you were a little too excited over it.

Hyuckie:

I missed you too, you should start cheering for the hockey team too!

Would you like to grab a bite tomorrow after class and catch up?

My treat ;)

You:

Are you asking me out?

You asked teasingly, making Donghyuck’s head insane as he laid in his bed, reading your message over and over again thinking about his next move.

Was it too soon? Is it too little? Should I say no? What if she was joking? What if she doesn’t want a date? What if I screw up and she never wants to talk to me again? Reply quickly, idiot! She’ll think you’re ignoring her!

Leaving his thoughts aside, he typed what his heart told him to and sent it, quite to your shock as you read it.

Hyuckie:

If I was, would you say yes?

Biting on your lip as Donghyuck’s hands trembled, you couldn’t hold back a smile. If your friend was right, this would end with the bad streak of dating idiots you’ve had so far, and you’d finally be happy with someone who actually gave you your place. So without thinking it any further, you replied something that made your friend’s heart skip a beat.

You:

Meet me tomorrow after class.

“You asked her out?!”, Jeno exclaimed in shock as he read the small text conversation on Hyuck’s phone. He nodded, and Jeno showed a huge surprised face, “What? I thought that was what you wanted me to do”, the blonde said, quite not getting his friend’s reaction. “I’m just... shocked. I thought it would still take you weeks, days at least. Hyuck, I’m so fucking proud of you!”, he hugged Hyuck as he patted his back. “Damn, our little Hyuck is finally growing up, this and the fact that we slew those Algebra finals is a matter of celebration!” Mark said excitingly. “You just wanted an excuse to throw a party, didn’t you?” Sungchan rolled his eyes, smiling at his friend’s enthusiasm.

“I think I’ll catch up later, I promised Demi I’d be with her tonight”, Jeno sighed. It was a mystery to everyone why he looked so down lately, and it was merely because Jeno wasn’t the sharing type. He liked to keep his problems to himself, in his books it was alright because everyone had their own stuff to deal with. However, quite frequently, the exception to that rule was Donghyuck, but he kept things to himself whenever they were with the rest of the guys.

So once the guys headed off to the library to study a bit more for the rest of their final exams, Hyuck patted Jeno’s shoulder. “I know something’s off, Jeno”, he looked at his friend in the eye, which made Jeno sigh. “Demi is taking off to London for the summer break, and God knows how much longer”, he finally told him. “And I don’t mean to keep her here, because I know that’s her dream, and had it been mine, she’d support me until the very end, but...”, Jeno stared at the ground as they kept walking, not really wanting to say what sounded so selfish in his head, but was truly the only thing that he had in his mind. “You don’t want her to leave”, his friend completed, wrapping his arms around him.

“Jeno, if there’s something I know for sure it’s how much you and Demi love each other”, he chuckled, trying to cheer his friend up. “You’ve been together... God, for as long as I can remember. You’ll survive this, you just gotta let things flow”. Jeno looked up at him with a little smile, “How come you’ve never dated anyone and you still give great dating advice?”. They both chuckled, only for Jeno to look back at him and pat his back, “That’s some great advice, Hyuck, you should follow it too”.

As they reached the exit, both of them went separate ways. Jeno’s words kept ringing in the back of Donghyuck’s head as he walked towards the outdoor field’s bleachers, sitting down as he waited for you still thinking about how he would manage everything. He made an elaborate plan right after finishing the study guide last night, with his mind clear enough to let him make his choices without any further doubts. He took a deep breath and followed the little pre-game ritual he had ever since he started playing hockey: he looked straight ahead and emptied his mind from everything but what he had planned for the day: making sure you knew he’d treat you better than the rest of the idiots you’ve given your heart to.

That was his plan for the most important task he’s had to date.

“Party at Mark Lee’s place tonight, girls!”, you heard Yeri exclaim as you got changed from your PE class in the lockers. The girls looked quite excited and you texted Demi to know if she would come as well, figuring that it would be somewhere in Hyuck’s plans for the night. “Someone looks quite rushed, do you have somewhere else to be?”, Joy asked you, as she slipped her red cropped turtleneck over her head. “I’m going on a date”, you muttered as the other girls looked at you, quite mesmerized. “A date?! With who?” Wendy had the courage to ask, and you smiled as you pointed at Donghyuck’s picture from last year’s yearbook. “Lee Donghyuck?”, Irene gasped, looking at you quite amazed. “Girls, there will be six more weeks of summer this year”. Your friends giggled as you shook your head. “I mean, you’re the first girl he’s asked out like... ever?”. You sighed as you put on some lipstick, blending it with the tip of your fingers.

Seulgi looked at what you were wearing and threw a piece of clothing at you, nearly making you smudge your mascara. “Hey!”, you exclaimed, quite shocked. “You don’t plan on going to Mark’s party later with that, right? Let alone to date the hockey team’s captain”, you looked at your plain red shirt and your white mom jeans, quite confused as you straightened the clothing ball your friend threw your way. “That’s my beloved white furry jacket, it will look cute with that and your matching bucket hat. And it will help you look like you made at least a little effort to look different today”. You dedicated her a little grin as you slipped the jacket on, finding yourself looking like a 90′s teen movie star. “Thank you!”, you told her, walking out the locker room as she yelled one final, “You better take care of it!”.

You jogged your way to the fields as you realized the bell rang twenty minutes ago, afraid of making Donghyuck think you’d forgotten or played with him. A part of you even thought he probably wouldn’t be there. However, you found him sitting in the bleachers, staring at his phone. “Hey, sorry, did you wait too long?”, you asked concerned, only to be greeted by one of his beautiful smiles. He got up, fixing his hair as he rushed down to your encounter, smiling your way. “I was talking to Jeno, I just got here”, he shrugged, a little white lie he made to keep you from feeling bad.

Because that’s how much he loved you.

“Oh, thank God, I was so scared...” you sighed, looking at him with a little smile. “Wow, I’ve seen you every day, yet you look so different”, you grinned, looking at how much his physics had changed from the little kid you remembered: he gained muscles, he was also taller than you remembered him to be, not to mention his golden-tanned skin looked somewhat more tempting than it did before. “Well, you’re still as beautiful as I remembered you to be”, he muttered, picking a lock of your hair behind your ear. That little moment had you feeling those cliché butterflies in your stomach like you’ve never felt them before. “Shall we go now?”, he asked you, reaching his hand out for you to hold.

His hands, good lord. You thought. There was definitely something about them that made you even more excited about holding them. As soon as you held his hand, it felt as if two pieces of a puzzle had been joined. As if the event was long overdue.

You walked over to the parking lot, where your jaw dropped as soon as you saw his ride. “Since when can you drive?”, you asked quite shocked. “I got my driver's license before the last championship, my parents gifted me this after we won”, he replied, opening the passenger’s seat door for you to go inside. “Wow, what a gentleman”, you said, acting as if it was a joke. But the truth was it somewhat made you feel good. No one had ever opened a door for you, and there was Lee Donghyuck, holding your hand to help you get inside his car after he opened the door for you.

Different from other guys you’ve had the chance to ride along with, Hyuck didn’t seem to care about your shoes being dirty when they touched the car, nor about you intending to touch the car. He made you feel as if his car was yours too, and you liked that. He closed the door once you got in and surrounded the car to get in the driver’s seat. You had this stupid smile on your face, and Hyuck noticed that. “What is it?”, he asked you, quite confused but still smiling. You shook your head, “Don’t mind me, I’m just recovering from the algebra test”. He chuckled, as he started the engine, “How come everyone says that? It was a piece of cake compared to the study guide”. You looked at him while laughing, shaking your head lightly. Ever since you were kids, Donghyuck was a genius with numbers. When the teacher asked him, he said it was because he liked to have an answer to problems, and that was when you knew you needed someone like him in your life.

However, due to the situation making you realize things in a totally different way, you surely were questioning the real intentions of that wish.

You stared at him as he focused on the driveway after lending you the AUX cable so you could choose the music, his focus unbothered even with your sort of intense glare. He truly looked like a 90′s boyband heartthrob. His sportslike red and white outfit along with the chains you remember giving him for one of his birthdays a while ago... he looked good. You also smiled a little as you noticed the color coordination you had unwittingly pulled off, you truly looked like a couple... and you liked it.

Donghyuck wasn’t blind, he noticed each one of your smiles but pretended not to since he liked to see you smiling, and his head was certain in the fact that you would try to hide them if he said something about them. “Where are we going?”, you asked him, quite curious about his intention. He wasn’t using any sort of GPS, so he knew where he was going, but that only made you more anxious as to where he was taking you. “Do you remember that place where your parents threw your birthday party in fifth grade?”, he asked, making you look at him with disbelief. “The arcade where I beat you in every single game?”, you giggled. “Yup, that one. I thought it would be nice to go back there, you know... for the memories”, he explained, only to add at the end, “and they also serve some great cheeseburgers”.

The pure definition of the word “nostalgia” hit you as soon as Hyuck parked the car in the place’s parking lot. It was nearly empty, with just some employees going around to check on the games and some people eating in the cafeteria. “Wow, this place is exactly like I remember, they haven’t even changed the games!”, you exclaimed as Hyuck looked at your excitement with loving eyes. You looked at the guy beside you, taking your wallet out of your purse. “Well, the food’s your treat, then mine’s the games”, you said, you didn’t even let him say a word before you went over to the cashier to pay for the coins you’d play with.

The old lady sitting behind the desk looked at you with a kind smile, “That young man came in yesterday when we were nearly closing, he asked us to reconnect some of the old machines, now I get why”, she told you while looking for a few bags of coins, counting them in a machine that later poured them in a little cup. “He sure is in love with you, you’ve got quite a catch of a boyfriend”. You were about to tell her he wasn’t your boyfriend when you turned around, and your eyes found him focused on a crane game, not exactly knowing what he was so focused on getting but certainly going down the memory lane to a 12-year-old Donghyuck pulling an adorable teddy bear out of the game and giving it to you two days later with the hockey team’s jersey and his number in the back.

“I totally agree”, you muttered, smiling as you saw him pulling out the toy he’d gotten. He was so good at those games, at every game being honest. You still couldn’t believe you’d beaten him back in the day. Once the old lady handed you the coin-filled cups, you paid her and she handed you your change. As you counted the money, you realized something was off. “Excuse me, ma’am... you gave me extra change”. She shook her head, looking at you with that same smile. “Half of it is on the house, I let you pay the other half because the young man told me that you were quite stubborn”, she giggled, “Now, go and have fun! Live while you’re young”.

You smiled, thanking her as you walked back towards Donghyuck. He smiled back at your happiness, handing you an adorable stuffed animal. “How come you’re so good at those games?”, you asked him while giggling. “It’s just a matter of space measuring, calculating the probabilities of the toy slipping out or falling off the crane, choosing the most available toy out of the bunch... and I’m boring you”, he smiled nervously as he saw you looking at the toy, an adorable white bear with a red bow. You looked at him again only to find him scratching the back of his neck.

“You weren’t, I like that about you, Hyuck”, you answered honestly. “I hate it when people are overconfident while giving answers to those questions, like when they say ‘I just can’ or that sort of stuff”, he looked at you while you spoke, making you feel listened to. He was truly listening to every single word that came out of your lips as if it was the most interesting speech ever.

Because he loved listening to you.

You spent every single coin playing different games, just like you did when you were kids, breaking your own records in every single machine you played in. You laughed the whole evening, and yet again, you managed to beat Donghyuck in every single game. “Booyah! In your face, twentieth game in a row!”, you mocked him, making your old little victory dance as he smiled, sighing. “Damn, you haven’t lost your touch”, he said, pretending to feel defeated, “Are you hungry yet?”, he asked you kindly. You nodded, and both of you made your way to the cafeteria, as you jokingly bragged about your smashing victory.

The old lady was patiently waiting for you to show up, with two gorgeous bacon cheeseburgers, french fries, and two milkshakes, what Donghyuck had told her to serve you the night prior. You looked at him in shock, “You remember all of this?”, you smiled as you sat down, thanking the lady when she left you your food. “It’s the house’s special, how could I forget it?”, he replied, as if wasn’t anything special. However, you knew deep down his intentions were all the opposite. You started eating, nearly crying at the sensation of memories flooding your head as soon as you gave it a bite. “It’s been so long since I’ve last had a burger this good”, you admitted. It wasn’t pretty usual for you to hang around these places anymore. It was pretty far away from your reach, yet Lee Donghyuck made it his task to make you remember the good old days.

“Why did you bring me here? I want the truth, Hyuck”, you demanded once you were done eating. He looked at you while taking a sip of his strawberry milkshake, swallowing before giving you an answer. “Well, a few years ago, on your birthday, your mother hired an entire show from the old animatronics because your friends loved them”, he started the story, one you certainly remembered. “However, you were scared shitless of them, so you ran out of the room as soon as the lights turned off for them to start the show. You thought no one noticed, but I did. And I ran behind you, only to find you looking at the zombie videogame your friends wouldn’t want to play with you because they didn’t like it”.

He looked at his hands, playing with his fingers as he left out a small chuckle. “Back then, you had this silly nickname for me, because of a bear you saw at the zoo that was named that way”, he said, only for you to complete his sentence. “Haechan”, you smiled, and he nodded. “You looked at me and smiled, and you said ‘Why are you here, Haechan? You should be watching the show, mommy thought you’d like it’. And I took out the coins I had in my pocket and told you-”. “I bet killing zombies with you is more fun”, you muttered, making him smile as you remembered it too. “Mom was so pissed she didn’t find me when the animatronics started singing the birthday song”, you chuckled, making him laugh as well. “That night, as we played, I remember thinking ‘wow, her smile is so pretty’, and it wasn’t until you first made that victory dance of yours that I realized how much I liked you” he confessed finally, leaving you speechless for a second.

You were that girl, you really were the girl Lee Donghyuck was in love with.

“You like me?”, you asked, still shocked. He nodded, not really knowing what to do with his hands. “I’ve been wanting to let you know for the longest time, but whenever I gathered the guts to do it, you started dating someone else. So I decided to keep it to myself, to be there for you as a friend if you needed me. Because even if it hurt me to see your heart break, I wanted to be there to help you fix it”, he explained to you, as the tears started coming out of your eyes. “You mean... when I started dating Lucas... you were planning to confess to me?”, your voice cracked, making him stop everything and reach out to hug you. He wrapped his arms around you and held you close, caressing your back. “Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to say anything, nor to feel guilty or bad for me. I was upset, I’m not gonna lie... but I also decided to set you free. If you came back to me, it was because it was meant to be. And you came back every single time, so I waited until the right time until I finally decided it was now”, he told you, as you pulled back slightly to look at him in the eyes.

“Hyuck...”, you couldn’t manage to get any words out of your mouth, but he made you feel as if it was okay to leave him hanging after such an adorable confession. You felt like the biggest trash bag on Earth, and the way he treated you made you feel worse and at ease at the same time. “You need to heal, and I get that. You went through a lot with Johnny, and I know that. I’ll wait until you’re ready if you want me to, and I’ll totally leave my feelings aside if you want me to. I’ll leave it up to you”, he told you, caressing your cheeks and adjusting your hat back in its place. “Mark has a party over at his place, do you want to go?”, he asked you softly, wiping your tears away.

You sighed, looking down for a minute. “Hyuck, I’ll give you an answer, I promise”, you told him, which he let out a little giggle. “It’s truly okay, Y/N. Come on, Jeno told me Mark’s already bragging about his b-boy moves”, he told you, reaching out his hand again after leaving a good tip for the old lady, thanking her again before the two of you left. He always found a way to make you feel better, even when he was probably the most upset.

Because he loved you.

“Yo, Hyuck! You came just in time for another round of beer pong!” Mark greeted his friend as he saw the two of you walking into the party, crowded as usual for one of Mark Lee’s parties. “You guys look fresh! Make yourselves at home, drinks at the kitchen, snacks at the table, dance floor by the pool, and the rooms upstairs are exclusively reserved for the hockey team, so you’re staying over tonight, I’m not asking”. Hyuck looked at him, “Sure, because you’ll get so drunk tonight we’ll have to babysit you again”. Mark stopped in front of him, patting his shoulder. “You know me so well, Hyuckie”, he said, messing up his hair before going back to the party. “Ayo, Winwin! Let’s go get more booze!”.

You looked at Hyuck. “Do you want anything to drink?”, he asked you, raising his voice slightly for you to listen to him despite the loud music playing in the back. “Just some Coke” you replied, and he nodded, walking over to the kitchen as you looked around for Demi, finding her sitting on a couch near the beer pong table. You hugged her, noticing she looked a little excited. “I want every last drop of the scoop, how did it go?!”, she asked you, her smile nearly going from ear to ear. “He likes me, Dem, I’m the girl Jeno was talking about. And I blanked as soon as he confessed to me”, you said, quite embarrassed. “He planned the most adorable evening ever, he did all of these adorable things for it to be perfect... and I couldn’t even say anything”. Demi looked at you concerned, only to change her expression as soon as her attention drifted to someone walking over towards you. “Girl, I don’t mean to be rude, but we really should-”, she started as she helped you get up, only to be cut off by a voice you knew pretty well.

“I see it didn’t take long for you to go over with someone new, huh?”, he told you, looking at you dead in the eye. “Well, the difference, Johnny, is that I at least waited until breaking up with you”, you replied, certainly not scared of him. “Lee Donghyuck? That shitball, seriously? So you’re messing up with my reputation for being some faggot’s cover?”, he asked you, chuckling at the idea, making Jeno and the rest of the hockey team walk over towards you as soon as they acquired awareness of the situation. “You ain’t not even a quarter of the man he is”, you replied and felt him grabbing onto your neck, freezing at the closeness. “Oh, yeah? That wasn’t what you said when I made you my bitch”.

“Hey, asshole!”, you felt released as someone pushed Johnny off of you. Demi held you protectively as Jeno walked over to the two of you, checking out to see if you were okay. “Oh, if it’s the man of the moment, I was looking for you to give you my congratulations, I guess some people settled with used things”, Johnny mocked, only to receive another push from Donghyuck. “You can say all you want about me, but leave her alone or else”. Johnny laughed in his face, “You? You will beat me? You would risk getting your ass kicked for some wasted-ass bitch? Face the facts, Lee! Lucas used her, I used her, God knows how many more have, she’s a fucking slut-!”, he was about to say something else when Donghyuck threw the first punch, with such strength it left Johnny bleeding. You gasped, knowing well enough Hyuck wasn’t the fighting type, let alone the type to start a fight, let’s not even mention starting a fight with the school’s martial arts champion.

As soon as he got punched, you felt your heart stuck in your throat. He tried throwing punches at Johnny, but the ladder returned them faster and harder. Jeno, Yangyang, Sungchan, and Ten rushed to break down the fight, looking at how Hyuck’s blood started to stain the floor. “Enough!”, Mark yelled walking into his house with Winwin and the booze they went for, with that authority voice that made him so respected and loved by everyone in his class. “Johnny, get the fuck out of my house! I give two shits, you have absolutely no right to disrespect my team captain, nor a friend of mine, nor a lady, not under my fucking roof! Get the fuck out before I call the cops!”, Ten walked him out before he looked for further trouble, mouthing a “sorry” your way. You rushed over to Donghyuck, looking at Mark once you realized how his face was bleeding.

“Do you have any first-aid kit?”, you asked him. “Upstairs, third door to the right”, he guided you. You held Hyuck’s hand and guided him over with you, quite concerned about the mess left. Jeno looked at you, knowing exactly what you were thinking. “We’ll clean this up and keep things going as if nothing happened, you go and make sure he’s alright”, he told you, “That idiot thinks everything so damn much, I can’t believe he didn’t think this through... just go with him, it’s gonna be alright” you nodded lightly. You would, you had to make sure he was alright because that fight made you realize just how different he was from every idiot you’ve dated.

Because it made you realize how much he loved you.

Having taken off Seulgi’s coat to keep it away of the blood, you found yourself tending to Hyuck’s wounds in one of the bedrooms bathroom. However, he looked more concerned about you than he was about anything related to his well-being. “Stop”, you ordered. “Stop what?”, he asked, authentically confused. “You know it’s not the first time anyone slut-shames me, right?”, you told him, passing a cotton bud over a slit in his lip. At least once the blood was off, it didn’t look that bad anymore. “It’s quite curious, due to how many campaigns women around the world hold against it, to think that the first ones to publicly degrade me were all girls”, you sighed, not wanting to look at him as you spoke. “Every girl that liked Lucas, every girl Johnny cheated on me with, every girl who wouldn’t make it past the cheerleading tryouts...”, you cleaned the mess you’d made, throwing every last piece of cotton you’d used into the trash bin.

“At this point, you could even say I’m used to it. I would even hear made-up stories about how I would be up for gangbangs with Johnny and his friends, how I sold some old man my nudes for him to pay my college tuition, how I was the one who made Seulgi and Irene bisexual...”, you finally sighed, letting out the tears you’ve held back so long it started hurting. Hyuck noticed that, and just like he did in the cafeteria, he held you close. “I’m tired, Hyuck”, you finally admitted, and he caressed your hair. “I know”, he muttered. “I’m so fucking broken I’m afraid to break the only guy who’s ever really loved me right”, you cried out, just wanting to let everything out as you pulled away from his hug, wanting to look at him as you confessed what has been going on in your heart. “Because I fucking love you, Hyuck... but I’m not even close to deserving-”.

You were cut off by his lips crashing onto yours, a sweet and delicate kiss was what you got as a response. Once he slowly pulled away, he looked at you in the eyes, his hands lightly resting on your cheeks. “You deserve the universe and more, nothing less”, he muttered. The tingling sensation that kiss left on your lips was something you’d never felt after kissing anyone before. And it was the final push for you to finally give in, for you to finally let yourself be loved.

You pulled him close again, your lips crashing on each other as your hands wrapped around his neck, his hands falling from your cheeks all the way to your waist, hugging you the way you did with him. The kiss felt so natural you just sunk into it, as well as he did. Even when his head was going insane with all kinds of questions, he decided to shut them off and follow his own advice.

He’d let things flow.

You broke apart only to guide Hyuck back to the bedroom, he looked at you as he read through your intentions. “Are you sure about this?”, he asked you, caressing your cheek. You nodded, looking at him with loving eyes. “This is the first time I’m a hundred percent sure I want to do this”, you told him. He took a deep breath and walked over to the door, locking it first than anything. He looked nervous, and what the girls had said earlier came to your mind.

“Is this your first time?”, you asked him, to which he nodded, an adorable blush tinting his cheeks. You smiled at him, he looked so adorable you wondered who was that intimidating hockey player everyone saw in the field. “It’s okay, just guide me wherever you feel like going, I’ll follow you”, you told him as you got close to him again. You learned to be cautious ever since you lost your virginity, you’d taken birth control very seriously since day one because your mother and your friends guided you to do so. So even now, when the moment came, you were calm knowing it would be alright, and you wanted Hyuck to feel that as well.

He held your waist, pulling you closer lightly and guiding you into a kiss that got more intense with time, he pulled away for a while only to sit down on the bed, pulling you into his lap to start kissing you again. Your hands grabbed his cheeks, caressing them as the kiss kept going. His hands ran down your back as the heat started rising between you, Hyuck’s kissing abilities were way beyond average, those lips of his felt like cotton candy against yours, and every time your tongue met his, you felt one step closer to heaven. He pulled you away briefly to strip down his torso, and your hands felt curious to wander around his strong build.

He played with the bottom of your t-shirt, looking at you before doing anything else. “Can I?”, he asked gently, his constant asking for consent made you even more sure you were doing the right thing. You nodded and helped him out pulling the red shirt off, revealing your black plain underwear. Once your tops were thrown somewhere on the bedroom floor, he went back to kissing you, his kisses slowly going down your neck as you reached your back to undo your bra, letting your chest fully naked for him to kiss. He took that as your consent, and his kisses went all the way down to your breasts as his hands caressed your back once more.

Little moans left your mouth as Hyuck started kissing sensitive spots of your skin, the fact that he used his mouth to roam around your skin was enough to make you feel like this was the best you’ve ever been treated in bed, and adding up the amount of love you could practically touch in him made you enjoy everything even more. You could feel something starting to press against your core as you started grinding over Donghyuck’s lap. “Fuck, you’re driving me insane, princess”, he groaned, in such a raspy voice it made you want more. You kept grinding against him, loving the small grunts that would come out of his mouth as he kept kissing you.

From one moment to another, you felt the bedsheets in your back, as Hyuck took off his pants, feeling the pressure of his throbbing erection painful enough to rush things up a little bit. Still, he managed to be somewhat delicate "throwing" you over the bed. Once there was nothing but his black boxers keeping him from complete nudity, he crawled on top of you, looking at the button of your jeans to ask "Can I?". You unbuttoned your pants while looking at the guy with a pretty smile, biting on your lower lip as he smiled at you, undoing the zip and taking the heavy fabric off your legs, then looking at your black lacey underwear to ask yet again: "Can I?". You giggled, sitting down only to reach for his lips.

He kissed back as your hand guided his to your dripping center. He looked at you, as his head made an effort to figure out what to do at this point, but remembering the shows he watched with the guys, he figured to start moving his fingers up and down, to his luck, on what turned to be your clit. Small moans made their way out of your lips, and due to your arousal, his fingers managed to slip inside you. He kissed you as he kept moving his hand at a medium pace until you pulled him away, only to leave him face up over the bed. You looked at him, playing with the elastic band of his Calvin Klein underwear.

"Can I?", you asked him softly, only for him to chuckle in embarrassment. He nodded lightly, making you smile as he watched your every move. Once his boxers were no longer a burden, you sat on his lap, making him curse as you started moving on top of him. "You'll set the pace", you told him, leaning down to kiss on his lips. And as soon as he aligned his throbbing erection to your entrance and slowly entered you, he swore he could see the stars. With his hands on your hips, he commanded you to go slowly, as you both moaned out how good it felt. Nice and slow, an expression you hadn't known before, certainly became your favorite after that night. And you kept kissing through the whole thing.

Because that's how much you loved each other.

After that steamy moment, you laid next to him after he helped you cleanse, your body holding his closely as he kept your hand in his heart and his arms surrounded you, one of his hands playing with your hair. He looked at you adoringly, unable to find fitting words to how beautiful you looked to his eyes in that moment. You closed your eyes for a few minutes, listening to his calm, steady breath and feeling his heart beating under your hand. For a moment, he even thought you'd fallen asleep, and that made everything ten times better to him. You slowly opened your eyes, finding that adorable smile you loved so much.

You smiled back, looking him in the eyes. "I thought you would be tired", you muttered, caressing his chest lightly. "I'm way too over the clouds to fall asleep right now, Y/N", he replied softly, making you lean over to kiss him lightly again. You looked at the hour in the digital clock that sat on the nightstand, it was 1:27 AM and the party seemed far from over. The music was still as loud as it was when you walked into the room to tend his wounds. You chuckled as you thought about the people you'd left downstairs, "Do you think Jeno and Demi are waiting for us?", you asked Hyuck, making him laugh a little. "Well, I hope they sorted things out if they are. Jeno was quite concerned earlier", he sighed, making you think the situation through.

Demi would leave in just a few days for that summer program, and Jeno would stay for the hockey team's summer camp, which was pretty much mandatory if he planned to keep his place as a headline player in the team. You knew how important he was to the team, but you also knew Jeno loved your best friend more than anything. And you knew for fact distance wasn't compatible with relationships.

"I think Jeno bought that plane ticket in the end", Hyuck shrugged, making you look at him in shock. "What do you mean?", you asked him. "Well, ever since Demi first applied for the program, he talked to the coach about it. Of course, the coach took a while to understand his issues, but as soon as we won the championship again, he gave Jeno the greenlight", he explained you, staring at the ceiling as he spoke. "Mark and I offered to help him with the expenses, and the coach even booked him in a good hockey camp in London", he smiled at the thought. "However, he's held back because he knows how much this means to Demi, and he didn't want her to lose focus because of him. If there's one thing the coach taught us well, was to get our head in the game as soon as we entered the field, and he didn't want to keep her from doing that. But I think Demi and him talked about it today, because he looked happy while talking to the guys before the fight".

You looked at him still in disbelief, making him giggle. "Is there something on my face?", he asked, and you jokingly punched him. "I thought he and Demi would break up! How could you know about all of this and not tell me?", he giggled and held you close again, as you "fought back", pretending to be angry. "Don't be mad at me, princess. Jeno had his reasons to keep my love for you a secret from Demi, I had mine not to tell you about this", he asked you softly. "They will be having fun in London, you and I will stay here. I think we should join them downstairs if neither one of us can sleep, just so you can have the tea spilled from them".

However, you shook your head. "No, the door is still locked and I still want some sort of compensation for keeping me from knowing my OTP found a way to make it through the challenges of life!", you asked as you grabbed his cheeks, making him smile and sigh. "Say no more", he said, turning the lamp off before kissing you again.

Happy Valentine’s season, everyone! If you love someone, let them know.

#haechan #nct haechan #nct dream #nct 127 #nct #lee donghyuck #nct lee haechan #nct lee donghyuck #nct haechan fluff #fluff #kpop valentines day #theravengoddess #I MISS YOU UNIVERSE

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name-is-no · 2 years

Text

MASTERLIST:

NCT:

Lucas

-[1:42]

-[01:01]

Yuta

-[11:39]

Johnny

-Killer Smile

Haechan

-[1:46]

Jaemin

Mark

Hendery

Ten

Jaehyun

Jeno

Taeyong

Ateez

Seonghwa

Hongjoong

Yunho

Yeosang

San

Mingi

Wooyoung

Jongho

-[12:09]

Seventeen

S.coups

Jeonghan

Joshua

Jun

Hoshi

Wonwoo

Woozi

Mingyu

The8

Seungkwan

Vernon

Dino

Straykids

Bang Chan

Lee Know

Changbin

Hyunjin

Han

Felix

Seungmin

I.N

Others:

A/N: I would’ve put NCT on the “Others” category, but I thought it would be understandable that I only handpicked a few members since there’s literally a whole class of them, but I will add the others soon, the ones on the list are the only one’s I added, since these members already have pending fics in my drafts just waiting to see the light of day.

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koko-bopp · 4 years

Text

Dry Cleaners

seo youngho x male!reader

word count – 2K

genre – MATURE, fluff

warning(s) – highschool!au, foreplay + IMPLIED sex, mentions of blindfolding, semi-public sex

synopsis – Johnny is notoriously known as a reckless bastard around these parts, but you'd taken the time to know him, he's a little more sweeter and a little more caring than he'd like to let off,,, but just as freaky as you'd suspected.

"I was wondering when you'd come crawling back to me," Johnny smirked. He was sitting down on one of the seats inside the establishment, practically slouching with one leg somewhat bent while the other was stretched as far as it could go. He was playing with the lighter in his hand, not lighting it aflame, but just open and closing the cap.

You knew you'd find Johnny here, Jaehyun told you that if he's not at the bowling centre, he's probably at his uncle's dry cleaners'.

Johnny is known to be pretty persistent and playful. He wasn't someone your parents would approve for you to date. The boy was barely at school, and if he was, it was for a reason. He practically lives in the detention room, he just acts like the world is his playground.

It's his carefree behaviour that makes him so attractive.

He knows a good time, he took you on a date to the library; the place you told your parents you would be.

Johnny bought snacks, drinks and ramen noodles and pushed a table all the way to the back of the place so the two of you wouldn't be bothered. He showed you a fun time, you two moved books into their incorrect order, threw paper balls at people who'd fallen asleep on desks, shared earphones listening to cute love songs, then messed with the librarian to the point Johnny got kicked out. He was left waiting outside for you to collect whatever was left behind.

Night had only fallen when you two left the library, so he took you to his.

You were nervously holding the shirt you had left with from his place. He'd asked you to wear it, the grey t-shirt he'd asked you to wear because he thought you looked so perfect getting fucked slow and dirty in his clothes.

You weren't regretting the night, but you would hide behind your hands everytime your friends would be jerks and whistle whenever Johnny walked past you guys at school.

"I... I just came to return the shirt.." You said, a safe distance away from the raven, reaching your hand forward so he would get the piece of clothing.

Johnny rolled his eyes, taking the shirt and throwing it on the seat next to him before using his other hand to carefully pull you towards him from your wrist, making sure you were standing between his legs, but sitting on his right thigh.

Your face felt hot, and your hands went to his shoulders out of reflex, you managed to stutter out, "J-Johnny? What–?"

"I missed you," Johnny interupted, giving you a pout and looking up at you. His arms wrapped themselves around your waist as he spoke, "Are you here just to give my shirt back? The one I fucked you in my room with?"

"Johnny!" You cried, hitting him on his shoulder to stop him from talking, tried to at least.

"What?" He chuckled like he hadn't done anything wrong, "You're always cute when you're all embarrassed and shit."

You bit down on your bottom lip. You kinda came to see Johnny with your own free will, told your parents that you were gonna go study at Lucas's place, even asked him to cover for you, because you actually wanted to see Johnny. He gave you the most thrill you'd gotten in a lifetime.

Your eyes drifted around the place, it was pretty isolated anyway, only the old, the desperate or filthy teenagers would drop by anywhere near these parts. There were only two cars parked outside too; one yours, one belonging to the guy who went into the pizza shop next door.

You turned back to Johnny after confirming that there wasn't anyone to disturb. Gently, you moved your hands from his shoulders then up to cup the sides of his jaw, your face already pretty close to him as it was.

"What'd you trying to do?" Johnny asked, an impressed smirk on his face.

"Kiss you... Perhaps? If you'll let me.." You responded, too softly for your own liking.

Johnny's eyes went from your eyes to your lips, licking his own as you could almost hear his heart beat just that little bit slower than your heart's rapid pacing. You're not generally someone who takes risks, being afraid to suffer the consequences, but Johnny seemed to be slowly but swiftly taking you out of your comfort zone.

He reached up to kiss you, immediately making your eyes flutter shut as he pressed his lips against yours, his hands gripping your waist that little bit tighter.

Your hands traveled north to his hair, taking the black locks through your fingers to remember the texture from few days ago. It was less greasy, there was no feeling of hair spray, more the natural feeling. You liked it, it was easier run your fingers though them.

Johnny was slowly wandering under your shirt, the sweater you were wearing lifted up enough for the cold air to touch your skin but feel the warmth of his fingers were on your waist.

It made you gasp, accidently making you pull away from the kiss to look at Johnny, swallowing your confidence in small ounces, "Johnny, are you nuts, this is still a public–"

"–Finish what you started, baby,"

"Johnny."

He rolled his eyes, but leaned up to kiss your lips again, clashing his lips back against them, whispering as best he can through locked-lips, "Office. At the back."

You pulled away, getting off his lap and dragging him with you towards the back of the dry cleaners. You pushed the door open, almost tripping backwards from how eager Johnny was behaving.

He was becoming more enthusiastic, closing the door behind him before bringing you to lie on the couch inside the office. Your back on the seats and Johnny now on top of you. His lips hadn't yet let go of yours, but his hands made their way to your stomach, teasingly pushing up the sweater to reveal the skin he hadn't littered with hickeys the other day.

"Johnny," you whined, your hips rolling up as you accidentally moaned through the kiss.

He chuckled lightly, pulling away to look at you, "Shit, you're so beautiful."

Your face felt hot, you liked the praise, but it made you all mushy and flustered.

Johnny watched your hands fly to your face, chuckling then his lips forming into a smirk.

He lifted your sweater further up, then leaned down and begun pressing soft kisses heading north. He felt your stomach tense underneath him and the soft moans leaving your mouth only prompted him to keep going.

Your hands moved from covering your face to rummage through his hair, gripping onto the stands as his lips travelled to your chest.

"Ah! Johnny–" You moaned. He bit down onto your nipple harshly, his teeth now put into the mix when he stopped to play at your chest.

He scraped the skin, left it with kisses in attempt to sooth it, all the while your have soft moans and small whimpers leaving your lips at the actions.

He pushed you back down when your hips raised subconsciously. His hands still gripping at your waist, squeezing the sides to get the reaction but suppress it as soon as it happened. A small chuckle left him, he looked up at you from where his lip were last, giving you a smirk, "You're so shy. I've already seen all of you; bare, moaning, panting; baby, I've seen you hard in my clothes," You struggled to lock eyes with him, he was practically right, and even he knew it. He hovered over you, gripping your jaw carefully so you can look at him properly, "..Maybe I should blindfold you next time."

Your hips accidently bucked forwards at the idea, your exposed lower-torso touching his clothed one. It made Johnny laugh, removing his hand from your jaw, he moved it to the button of your jeans.

"Next time. Just be a good boy for me, now."

529 notes · View notes

yutahoes · 3 years

Text

Otou-Chan

Yuta Nakamoto x Reader (Y/N) Smut

(Chapter Eleven)

Summary: 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐡𝐰𝐚 𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝.𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐘𝐮𝐭𝐚’𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬.

Warning: Fluff, Mentions of Sex, Teasing, Male Masturbation

Word Count: 2.3k

Masterlist

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️

11. Daddy

When six pm came, Ten went first while bidding the girl goodbye. Since she came to work late, she volunteered to clean up before leaving. "(Y/N), your boyfriend's here," he claimed and she rolled her eyes. "Hey, get inside. She still has things to do," he claimed before she could revolt. Yuta was already by the door in his dress shirt and slacks, different from the dandy boy that morning. Well, he really meant business now. The Japanese guy had to only bow at Ten who waved goodbye at the girl while mouthing that he's a catch, making her smile.

"You still have lots of things to do?" And she nodded while closing Jungwoo's computer. "Should we have a raincheck on that dinner?" he asked and she nodded, suddenly apologizing. "What time are you going home?"

She stopped to look at him who was staring straight at her. "I'm staying the night," she claimed that made him surprised. "My dad is getting out tonight and I don't really want to face him," she said sincerely while sitting down on her chair. "Besides, I'm late earlier. I can't go to work late tomorrow."

"Stay at my place." he offered and she shook her head. "I'll drive you early tomorrow. We won't have sex, I'll be really busy tonight," he claimed and she smirked. "Then go home, Yuta," she exclaimed then went back to her drawing. She's really cold-hearted, isn't she? Why is she pushing him off like this? And why is he so attracted to that?

Without any word, Yuta just left that made her sigh. It will be one long, cold night. She started editing her work which is really a work of progress, but she can't shake off the thought of Yuta. His lips, his biceps, his body, his cock, his eyes... Those eyes that drew her in, wanting to pull her to him. But she cannot have these feelings for him, he's too far to reach and somewhat, she can't really reach him. A knock on the door disturbed her, surprised that it was Yuta with a plastic bag on hand. Why is he still here?

He showed the bag which has take-home food from a steakhouse nearby, that insanely good steak house which boasts their high price of beef. "Dinner. I can't take you out so I guess I'll take you in," he said with a smile that made her so weak that she opened the door wide for him. Damn that smile, it makes him so lovable that she's hating how her heart kept on thumping on her chest. He went straight to what he believed was her table since it's the only spot with the lights on, smiling as he spotted what was on her tablet. (Y/N) quickly snatched it from him, hiding it. "You've been fantasizing about me so much," he claimed that made her glare, pouting at how she got discovered in making a sketch of him. "You are really talented." The sentence surprised her, does he really think of that? She muttered a silent thanks while blushing that made him smile. "Let's eat," he said while taking out the container from the plastic bag. "I don't know what you want so I ordered the same thing we had back in Paris."

"You remember what we had in Paris?" she asked and he nodded, showing her the wine that they exactly had during their first dinner together. "Your memory is pretty good."

Yuta just smiled as he sliced the steak for her. "I remember everything about you." then handed her the food container. "Go on, eat," he ordered that made her nod. "Busy day?" he asked while eyeing the work on her computer screen. An email was opened which is addressed to someone named Johnny Seo with an attachment. "So you really are an adult manhwa writer," he claimed more than to himself than to her.

(Y/N) had to laugh at that, did she not tell him about that? Or did he just doesn't believe her? "Wait, I thought you'll be busy tonight," she asked pointing her fork at him.

"I am," he claimed as he put broccoli on her fork that made her smile, eating it wholeheartedly. "But you agreed to have dinner with me so I had the night cleared out," he claimed that made her look at him. "Am I disturbing you?"

She shook her head as an answer. "Until what time do I have you?" Yuta answered ten pm and she glanced at the computer screen to see the time, she still has an hour left with him. "An hour? I don't think you roll like that and we have to finish our dinner." The guy had a confused look at her that made her sigh. "Sex, Yuta," she exclaimed. "One hour isn't even enough for you..."

The guy had to laugh at that. "You never fail to amaze me, (Y/N)," he claimed that made her stop. What does he mean by that? "I don't know whether to feel complimented or offended by that." Before she could react, he continued. "But I won't have sex with you tonight. Look at you..." he said then gestured to herself. "You can barely sit properly and I'm not that sadistic enough to abuse you." That made her blink, maybe what she said is really out of line. Why does she always think of sex when Yuta is involved? Maybe this is just like that coffee shop date back in Paris, simple and heart fluttering. "That brings me to my proposal. If you don't want to have a relationship with me, then I'll treat this as a business."

(Y/N) was listening clearly while staring at him intently. "Can you stop staring at me like that? You're making me crazy, I can't focus." And she giggled at how desperate he sounded. "Finish your food," he ordered that made her nod although she's already full. "Let's agree on something first. I don't want to call you my slut or my whore, or a fuck buddy at that matter," he claimed that made her look at him but he just tapped his fork on her food container. "Since you want it to be pure business, let's have ground rules. We need to have limitations. But first, what do you really want from me?"

The question threw (Y/N) off guard, what does she really want from him? Why did she suggest this setup anyway? "Well, you see, I'm an adult manhwa illustrator and I'm currently working on a project that will be my debut in the manhwa world," she explained and he nodded, focused at her. "And I needed inspiration, a model. That's when you came to the picture." Again, he nodded. "After I went back from Paris, Johnny agreed to let me have my own work to publish and I figured that I can get help from other manhwas or books but it's different, the way sex is when felt and read."

"So you need me for that?" he asked. "To feel sex, to experiment what you had in mind." And she nodded, suddenly not meeting his gaze. Why is this so embarrassing? "Okay then, I'll be your model. You can use me if you feel like it but you'll have to pay me." That made her choke on her drink. Pay him? He knows that she had financial trouble and yet he's asking her to pay him. Of course, there must be a catch on that. But is having sex with her isn't enough for him? "You'll go on dates with me." He really had his ways, doesn't he?

The girl nodded and he grinned. "So it's a deal then?" he asked and she kissed his lip that surprised him. "It's a deal," she claimed then ate her food. "Don't you have any ground rules or limitations?"

The girl bit her fork, looking at him at the sudden question. He's such a great negotiator, maybe that's why he' so good with his business. "Then what do you want from me?" she asked, mirroring the same question he had earlier.

He smiled at her and she gasped at how angelic he looked, a total irony. “I want to take care of you,” he claimed while tucking a loose hair behind her ear. “I’m serious when I said that I wanted to adopt you.”

But the girl chuckled at that which made him raise an eyebrow at her. What’s so funny? “Adopt me? As a pet or as a daughter?” He smirked at that, it can be one way or the other. “Should I call you master? Sir? Daddy? Appa? Abeoji?” Damn it! The things he wanted to do to that mouth just to shut her up. “What do you call a father in Japanese?” This girl, really.

“Otou-san.” he said with a smile. “But you cannot really address me as –san, we’re the same age.”

“Otou-chan, is that right?” she asked and he gave a haughty smile. The girl ate the vegetable on her plate, letting the fork linger in her mouth. “Otou-chan.” Yuta pursed his lips. Why does she sound so good speaking in Japanese?

Yuta removed the fork from her mouth. "You really make me want you," he said in a low voice. In no time, (Y/N) was pulled on his lap, her hands on his chest going down. They started kissing, tongues battling against each other. His hand was on her side, rubbing circles while the other was tugging her hair. He started attacking her neck and she moaned at how he sucked the soft spot on her skin that makes her breathless and tingly. Yuta's mouth is really so good that it turns her on so much, making her really wet. She started grinding on his lap that made him groan. She could feel how hard he's being and started rubbing his throbbing arousal with her hand that made him curse in Japanese. “You’re fucking beautiful, baby.”

The girl laughed then gave him a quick smack on the lips. “Fathers shouldn’t fantasize their daughters. That’s weird, Otou-chan.” she said cutely but he just pulled her closer. “The things I want to do, (Y/N). Thank God I’m not sadistic enough.” The girl feigned a shock, mouthing ‘You’re not?’ that made him laugh.

A ringing of the phone disturbed the two of them, making (Y/N) move back to her seat. "It's ten pm already," he claimed as he took the phone which registered Doyoung's number. "I have to work," he claimed then canceled the call. He lightly glanced at the girl who was just staring at him. "Damn, I don't want to leave you." He pulled her chair closer to him. "Can't you just stay the night with me?"

(Y/N) smiled then shook her head. "You wouldn't finish your work if I get too close to you." And he nodded as if agreeing to what she said. Another ring and she lightly glanced at his phone. "You should really go." he nodded then stood up, cleaning up the food containers and putting them back in the plastic bag. He quickly threw it by the garbage can and smiled at the girl who was looking at him. He bid farewell and she gave him a naughty smile that made him squint his eyes at her, "Take care, daddy." she said that made him look at her once again. Fuck, this girl is really something.

Yuta cannot really focus on the web conference he had with some foreign investors. Why do they have to start at ten-thirty when they can just talk at eleven? Maybe he still had time for (Y/N) and take care of this arousal. He remained poker face the whole time, his business-like image, in front of the computer screen but under the desk, he was holding his cock. Why does she need to call him daddy and make him crazy like this? Honestly, he doesn't know that he had it in him but he wanted to hear her shout his name while he pounds her tight hole. He wanted her to whimper under his touch and beg for her daddy to make her feel good. He wanted her so much that when the conference ended, he immediately closed his laptop and started jerking his cock as if fucking her. Damn, the things he can do for this girl. He can't wait to feel her again and all he could think of is when will she need him.

But she never called again even if days passed. Did she forget about him already? And he thought there's something going on between them. But can he disturb her like this? What if she hates him for being clingy? This is really frustrating. "(Y/N)?" Jaehyun repeated once he asked about her. The three were out again because of Taeyong's request, just because Doyoung called and told him about Yuta being distracted at work. "She's really busy with the manhwa lately, I don't think she's going home because of that," he claimed that made Taeyong look at the other guy who was listening intently. "It's a big break for her if Johnny decides to publish her work." And Yuta nodded at that, she did mention that. The reason why she wanted to be in this set up with him. "But I think it's a go, she'll just need a sponsor for the finance."

The guy smiled but before Yuta could answer, Taeyong suddenly spoke up "I'll do it, I'll sponsor her." that surprised the two of them. "If she finds out that you sponsored her, do you think she'll be happy with that?" he asked and the other nodded. She didn't accept his money in the first place so sponsoring her would really push her out of his life. "Besides, Jaehyun is helping the two of you. I wanted to help too. I just wished that you would get fucked after this." he teased, making the younger laugh and Yuta annoyed.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️

Chapter 10 / Chapter 12

#Smut #yutasmut #yutanakamotosmut #nctsmut #yuta nakamoto #yuta nakamoto smut #yuta smut

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xmalekreader · 4 years

Text

Requests open!

1) request a story :examples/inspiration for you^

2) the type of story you want: fluff , angst, smut anything you want

3)the idol you want it to be with

Note: I prefer doing idol x male or ships between idols :-)

Any group is fine , if I don’t stan them I will do a research on them before writing !

33 notes · View notes

haechanitboy · 4 years

Text

philophobia, chapter 12 - i need it, because i had you, three empty words

word count: 12.1k (i know....)

genre: smut, fluff, angst

contents: marking, reader and jaehyun go at it like rabbits, public sex (implied), female masturbation, oral (fem and male receiving), fingering, breast play, overstimulation, squirting, slight exhibition kink, unprotected sex

pairings: jung jaehyun x fem!reader, johnny seo x fem!reader

notes: i hope y’all enjoy this behemoth of a chapter!! please, please, please leave feedback; i worked really hard on this chapter :(

“I can’t believe you already bought my ticket,” You laugh as you let Jaehyun in. He tucks his hands in his pockets and looks at you, a sheepish smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“I was, um. Speaking good things into existence?”

“You were gonna kidnap me. You were gonna drive over here and pick me up ‘for a drive.’ Then you were gonna drive me to the airport and look at me with those puppy dog eyes until I said yes.”

“Mm, maybe. What puppy dog eyes? I don’t give you puppy dog eyes,” He pouts, looking down at you with the exact puppy dog eyes you’re talking about.

“Liar,” You say, narrowing your eyes at him. “You were gonna plop me in a foreign country with no personal belongings—and no one to watch my cats!” You exclaim, pointing an accusatory finger at him. He giggles and catches your finger with a swift motion, pulling you to him and wrapping his arms around your waist. “Don’t try and sweet talk your way out of it, sir.”

“Oh, sir?” He teases, pulling you in closer to him. “I think I like that,” He murmurs before dipping lower to catch your lips in a sweet kiss.

“Cherish it, because I’m literally never calling you sir in bed. Like...ever.” You say as you break apart, and he frowns.

“Maybe you’ll change your mind.”

“I won’t.” You assure him.

“But—”

“Drop it.” You order, and he pouts, lowering his head. You’d almost feel bad if it weren’t for the subtle shaking of his shoulders and the little giggles leaving his lips.

“Okay,” He gives in fairly easily, looking up at you and smiling warmly at you. You bat your lashes back at him, and his eyes narrow slightly. Before you can say anything, he’s whirling you around and pressing your frame into the wall with his body.

“I have to pack,” You remind him, but the look in his eyes has the words struggling to leave your lips.

“So go,” He urges you, and you raise an eyebrow.

“You’re in my way,” You point out, and he just chuckles, leaning down to your face.

“Make me move.”

“You’re impossible.” You scoff, pushing at his chest and frowning when he doesn’t move. “Come on,” You whine, and he laughs.

“Move me! You can do it, baby.” He encourages you, and you huff in annoyance, pushing his chest harder. He doesn’t budge, and even steps forward, pressing his hips into you as he dips his head down to your neck. He presses soft, delicate kisses to the exposed skin, running his nose up from your collarbone to behind your ear. You can't help but let a giggle slip out from you.

“Packing,” You remind him as his hands move to your hips, thumbs rubbing circles into the fabric of your pajama shorts.

“Mhm,” He hums, nipping at your earlobe and pulling your hips closer to his body. “Get me off and you can go pack.”

“...What do you mean by ‘get you off,’ Jae?”

“Whatever you think I mean,” He teases with a wiggle of his brows, and you roll your eyes, pushing him off you suddenly. “No fair,” He complains, pushing you back against the wall and pinning your arms above your head with one hand. He connects your lips quickly, tongue swiping along your lower lip and slipping into your mouth.

“I have to pack,” You whine between quick kisses, hands struggling in his grip. He releases your wrists and your body acts of its own accord, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Knew you liked it,” He grunts into the kiss, sliding his hands down to your thighs and lowering himself slightly so he can lift you, your legs wrapping around his waist.

He carries you upstairs to your bedroom and tosses you onto the bed, laughing when you yelp in surprise, bouncing on the comfortable surface.

“C’mere,” He purrs, tugging you by your legs to the edge of the bed and crawling on top of you, hands cupping your cheeks as he presses kiss after kiss to your lips, cheeks, and nose.

“I gotta pack,” You complain, but do absolutely nothing to push him off.

“Mm, okay, okay,” He gives in, pressing a final kiss to your lips before climbing off you and reaching out a hand to help you up. You take it gratefully, letting him pull you to your feet and turning to your opened suitcase, staring at it with your hands on your hips. When you go to our underwear drawer, he comes up behind you, arms wrapping around you and lips finding your jaw. "Bring the—”

"I'll bring what I want." You cut him off, and you can hear his pout without even seeing it.

"Okay," He gives in reluctantly, and you turn your head to peck him on the cheek in consolation. You pick out a couple of matching pairs of underwear and turn to put them in your suitcase, biting back a laugh when Jaehyun awkwardly shuffles behind you when you pivot.

"Are you gonna let go?" You ask, and he shakes his head before burying it in the crook of your neck. "I need to pack, and I can't do that efficiently if you're clinging to me."

"But you're warm," He complains, hugging you tighter. "And cozy."

"Can you sit on the bed? Please?" You ask him, and there's a silence that passes before he slips his arms from around your waist and takes a seat next to your suitcase.

"Who's gonna watch my cats?" You wonder aloud.

"Well, I have a friend who can watch them for you—" Jaehyun starts.

"Yeah, but isn't Taeyong one of the friends going?" You ask, and he makes a thoughtful expression.

"Yeah, you're right." He agrees, before a look of confusion washes over him. "Wait."

Realizing your mistake, you freeze in the act of folding a pair of jeans, looking straight ahead. "Uh."

"You know Taeyong?"

"...Uh. Yeah," You admit slowly, putting the jeans in your suitcase and turning to look at him nervously. "We've, uh...we've met. "

"Oh, that's cool. Why are you being so weird about it, though?"

"Because, um—well, this is way before things changed between us, but...we kinda, sorta hooked up briefly." You explain, and he raises a brow. "It meant literally nothing and his chicken broke it up, so we didn't even have sex." Your words come out rushed and frantic, and he raises his hands to calm you down.

"I'm not mad or anything, it's just...weird." He murmurs, a puzzled expression on his face.

"Yeah, but we're friends now." You assure him, smiling. "Just friends."

"You sure?" He asks, and you nod firmly, his shoulders relaxing at how sure you are. "Okay. Well, who's gonna watch your cats?"

"Maybe I'll ask Wheein," You muse, and he nods. "You've never met my friends, have you?"

"No," He confirms, frowning slightly. "Well, I've met your guy friends—just not the girlfriends. But to be fair, I’ve never introduced you to my friends, you just met them on your own. Sicheng is cool, he's just quiet at first."

“Okay,” You hum thoughtfully, walking past him to get another outfit out of your closet.

“I’m sure they’ll like you. As a matter of fact, they might like you too much.” He catches you on your way back, tugging you into his lap, ignoring your cry of surprise. “Maybe I need to show them they can’t have you,” He breathes, lips ghosting over your neck before he presses his parted lips to the skin, nipping and sucking until a pretty little mark blooms under his mouth.

You clutch at his thigh, manicured nails digging into the fabric of his jeans, and sigh softly as he presses light, little kisses to the mark, tilting your head to give him more access.

“That feels nice,” You exhale with a smile, and he nuzzles into your neck, smiling against your skin. “How much time until we have to leave for the airport?”

“We have...” He starts, pulling his phone out from his back pocket and checking the time. “Three hours.”

“Okay, hold on one second,” You mumble, pulling your own phone out and shooting off a quick text to Wheein.

When you toss your phone to the head of the bed, Jaehyun turns you in his embrace, maneuvering you so your back’s sinking into the plush fabric of your comforter and hovering over you with a mischievous grin before leaning down to slot his lips with yours.

“I’m guessing you read that.” You chuckle, and he nods, one hand moving to tug at the hem of your shirt.

“Oh, yeah.”

“Well,” You start, sliding your knee between his legs and rubbing it against the growing erection in his pants. “I think you should leave another mark on me...or two...just so they know I’m off-limits.”

“Say that again.” He urges, moving and kissing at another spot on the other side of your neck. “Say you’re off-limits again.”

“Mm, I’m off-limits.” You lilt, and he groans, clutching at your hip.

“Yeah, I’m gonna mark you up, baby girl.” He promises as he sits on his knees, tugging your legs and pulling your body closer to him. “Gonna make a mess of you, baby.”

“Fuck,” You curse under your breath as he drops his lips to your chest, bunching up your shirt and littering kisses across the swell of your breasts.

“Don’t tease,” You whine when he traces his fingers over one nipple, admiring the way it stiffens under his touch. “You only have, like, an hour until I need to finish packing and getting ready.”

“I’m gonna spend that time wisely.” He assures you, shooting a devilish wink at you.

“Oh, boy.”

Three hours, four more hickeys, and a handful of orgasms later, you’re walking through the airport, Jaehyun pulling your suitcase in one hand, his duffel resting on top, and holding your hand in the other.

You’re speed walking to keep up with him, and he seems to notice, slowing down and turning to you with an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, baby. We’re almost here,” He hums, gesturing ahead of him with his chin. You reach Gate 12 and all but collapse into a seat, sighing from exhaustion.

“I’m tired,” You whine, and he frowns sympathetically, stepping forward to stand between your legs. Instead of leaning back, you lean forward and rest your head on his abdomen, sighing softly. He rubs your back gently with one hand, the other hand using his phone.

“Lucas is getting food, Taeyong and Sicheng are close by.” He informs you, and you nod wearily.

“Gonna close my eyes,” You say, and he hums in assent, your eyes sliding shut before the sound even finishes leaving his lips.

“Jaehyun?” You hear Taeyong call from a distance, and you perk your head up, locking eyes with him and smiling. You stand up and he walks over to you two quickly, moving to give you a hug before pausing and awkwardly going in for a handshake.

“I’m Taeyong,” He introduces himself, and Jaehyun snorts.

“I told him,” You explain, and relief washes over Taeyong’s face before he pulls you into a hug.

“How’s Buttercup?” You ask excitedly when you two pull back, and he laughs as he goes in to hug Jaehyun.

“Buttercup is great! I have a friend watching him while we’re away, but I miss him already.” He frowns, and you ruffle his hair sympathetically.

"You'll see him soon," You comfort him, only to hear nearing footsteps and see an unfamiliar guy walking up to you.

"This is Sicheng," Jaehyun introduces the new male, and you smile at the newcomer, who returns your smile, albeit a bit awkwardly.

“Yo, Jae!” You hear a familiar voice call, and you just barely turn your head to see Lucas walking towards you with a large grin and a bag of food.

“You got McDonald’s?" The judgment in your voice slips out before you can stop it, but you're shocked to find that you're not alone. You turn to Sicheng, who spoke in unison with you, with equally amused expressions on your faces.

"What's wrong with McDonald's?" Lucas's pout evokes a chuckle from you, and Jaehyun drapes an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him slightly.

"You're going to Paris."

"Yeah."

"You're going to Paris and you got McDonald's?"

"Well, when you put it like that, it sounds—"

"Ridiculous?" Sicheng suggests, and Lucas scowls at him playfully, clearly not taking any of it to heart.

"I'm sorry—I don't mean to harp on you." You apologize, and he smiles brightly at you.

"It's okay. A pretty girl like you can say whatever you want to me." He says with a grin, wiggling his eyebrows at you. You scoff in amusement and surprise, and Jaehyun's arm tightens around your frame slightly before it relaxes.

You roll your eyes at the way Jaehyun's jaw clenches and turn his head to yours to press a sweet kiss to his lips. "Relax," You murmur, and he gazes into your eyes for a second before visibly calming down and nodding.

"Nice hickeys," Taeyong points out, and you can't even feign embarrassment, instead preening under their gazes.

"Thanks," You and Jaehyun answer in unison, and you turn to glare at him playfully, smiling when he just winks at you.

"Now boarding first class at Gate 12 to Paris, France." The overhead speaker announces, and you all look around and at each other before collecting your belongings and heading for the gate.

"Have you ever hooked up with someone on a plane?" Jaehyun asks you suddenly, and you turn to look at him slowly. Your thighs pressed against each other’s despite there being adequate space in first class for you two to have your own space, you’re suddenly very aware of the heat from his leg seeping into the fabric of your jeans.

"No," You answer warily, equally aware of his hand on your knee. "Why do you ask?"

"Just curious," He hums, tracing a finger along the exposed skin peeking through your ripped jeans.

"Mm." You reply, suspicious as you slowly return to your phone, resting your head on his shoulder.

"Baby?"

"Hm?"

"Follow up question."

"Shoot."

"Do you want to?" His tone is low and suggestive, and has arousal blooming in your abdomen, but—

"Jae, if I have another orgasm, I genuinely think I might pass out."

"I'd take care of you if you did." He jokes, and you swat at his arm.

"Jung Jaehyun!"

"That’s right, say my name, baby." He coos in your ear, and you scoff in an attempt to hide the way his words have petals of intrigue furling and unfurling in your stomach.

"Listen to me carefully."

"Listening."

"We're not having sex on this plane." You inform him, and he nods in agreement.

"Okay."

"No matter how seductive you get right now—"

"Mhm," He teases, eyes bright with mischief.

"Or how turned on you manage to get me—”

"Right."

"We are not having sex on this plane."

"Okay, baby. Whatever you say." He confirms, and you look over at him, eyes scanning his face to make sure he got the message.

"No sex on the plane." You whisper again for good measure, and he laughs, leaning in to whisper in your ear.

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?" When he licks at your earlobe, you're honestly not sure anymore.

"I cannot believe we had sex on the plane." You groan in frustration as you exit the plane, shoving Jaehyun when you notice his self-satisfied grin.

“Yeah, me either,” Taeyong whispers from behind you, and you yelp, whirling around to glare at him accusingly.

“You didn’t see or hear anything.” You say threateningly, and Taeyong raises his hands in surrender.

“Yes, ma’am. So bossy,” He teases you, laughing when you hiss in protest.

“Oh, shut up." You grouch, shuffling closer to Jaehyun. The male in question gladly drapes an arm around your waist, pulling you just a bit closer.

"What time is it, anyway?" You ask, and Jaehyun pulls his phone out of his pocket, checking the screen.

"It's 10:30pm," He answers, and you sigh, slipping your hand into his back pocket.

"I'm tired." You whine, and Jaehyun yawns in response.

"Well, we're headed to the hotel now; we can get some rest," He assures you.

"Okay. If you even think about sex in the hotel room tonight, I'll end you."

"Okay, baby." Jaehyun laughs, kissing your temple. "We'll cuddle."

"Yes," You agree. "Cuddling sounds nice."

"Tomorrow's when the fun starts. We're gonna go to some museums.”

"Mm, okay." You hum, smiling tiredly. "I'm excited."

The next day, you and the boys find yourselves museum hopping. You start at the Louvre—

"Y'know, the Mona Lisa isn't all that pretty." Lucas remarks, and you stifle a laugh into Jaehyun's coat as several passerby glare at him. "You're way prettier."

"Aw, shucks." You laugh, smiling over at him.

"Stop flirting with my girl, Lucas, or we’ll have to fight.” Jaehyun jokes, and you roll your eyes.

“Oh, hush,” You mumble, stepping onto your tiptoes to press a chaste kiss to his lips. "I'm your girl, huh?"

"Of course you are," He says simply. "You always have been."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Ever since I first saw you."

"That's cheesy."

"It's true. I knew we were destined for each other."

What is it with museums and boys talking about destiny? You wonder to yourself.

"That's cute. I like the sound of that."

"Of what?"

The words are too much to say face to face, so you turn and walk towards the next art piece, calling over your shoulder. "Being your girl."

After Lucas damn near gets you kicked out of the Louvre for being boisterous, the five of you move to The Musée Rodin.

It's while you're observing one of Rodin's works, The Kiss, that you find yourself thinking of your first kiss with Johnny and how you'd melted into his arms much like the statue you're looking at.

"Life imitates art, I suppose," You murmur to yourself, and Jaehyun looks over at you quizzically. You shake your head dismissively, and he makes a face of confusion before letting it go.

"You okay?" He asks, and you nod, smiling at him reassuringly.

"I'm great," You assure him, and he nods, smiling back at you.

"They must have been so in love. To stand there kissing for that whole time while he sculpted them." Lucas muses, in awe, and Sicheng snorts.

"I don't think they stood there that whole time."

"Well, how'd he sculpt them? He didn't take a picture." Lucas argues loudly, and you shush him frantically, shooting an apologetic glance at the elderly couple passing by you.

"Wait, I'm looking it up, and they're based off of two lovers from Dante. They were destined to roam Hell for all eternity." Taeyong explains, reading off of his phone.

"Well, damn." Lucas lets out a low whistle, regarding the statue presumably in a new light. "What'd they do?"

"It says the woman—Francesca—and the man, Paolo, were slain by Francesca's husband who caught them kissing for the first time."

"Well, shit." You mutter to yourself, and Taeyong looks over at you curiously. "It's nothing. Can we, uh, move on?"

“Yeah, of course.” He says quickly, hooking an arm with Lucas’s and steering him away from the sculpture. You fall into stride with them, Jaehyun and Sicheng right behind you.

"You sure you're okay?" Taeyong asks, and Lucas looks over at you, waiting for your answer.

"Yeah! I'm just thinking," You reply, nodding absentmindedly.

“Don’t think too hard,” Lucas jokes, and you laugh.

“I’ll be careful.”

“So, how did you guys all meet?” You ask before you take a bite of your crêpe.

“Sicheng and I were the same year and we were both Business majors, so we had a lot of the same classes. We got partnered up for projects a lot, and just started hanging out apart from schoolwork. The rest just kinda fell into place,” Jaehyun explains, and you nod in understanding.

“I was Jaehyun’s TA for Macroeconomics,” Taeyong says, “And we just hit it off in office hours, so we started hanging out.”

“Jaehyun was my big brother in the frat we’re in, and we just got real close after that,” Lucas says around a mouthful of food. You grimace and motion for him to cover his mouth, which he does sheepishly.

“Wait, so...you’re all Business majors?” You ask in confusion, and Lucas and Taeyong shake their heads.

“I was Economics,” Taeyong answers.

“Media and Film Studies,” Lucas says, “What about you?”

“English,” You reply, “with a minor in Education.”

“Oh, nice,” Lucas remarks, “Lucky us, huh? Not having to follow in our parents’ footsteps.” You laugh and nod, returning the high-five Lucas offers over the table.

“Y’know, when I first met you,” Lucas says, studying you carefully. “I thought you were real scary.”

“Yeah?” You reply, intrigued. He nods, and you smirk. “Good.”

“Yeah, but then you talked to me at that party and I realized you were pretty cool.”

“Pretty cool?” You repeat, and he grins, a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

“I barely got to know you like I am now!” He defends. “I think you’re awesome now.”

“Well, thank you.” You say warmly, reaching over to pat his hand lightly.

Jaehyun’s hand lands on your thigh instantly, rubbing it slowly.

“Relax, bro.” Lucas reassures him, hands up in surrender. “I’m restraining my likability right now so your girl doesn’t throw herself at me.”

“You’re doing a shit job,” You joke, and you could swear you see the tips of his tanned ears turn pink.

“You’re just trying to rile me up,” Jaehyun huffs, pulling your legs into his lap.

“Oh, gee, you think?” You say, sarcasm dripping from every syllable, and he frowns at you.

“Don’t be mean,” He complains, and you roll your eyes.

“Sorry,” You drag out the word teasingly. The furrow between his brows doesn’t leave, and you scoff, leaning over and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “Better?”

“Better.” He agrees.

“Y’all are...kinda so cute that it’s gross.” Sicheng remarks, and you frown at him.

“Sicheng’s right,” Taeyong agrees. “If you kiss him again, I’m gonna start asking for kisses.”

“I can’t do that,” You reply honestly, patting Jaehyun on the cheek. “I’m only allowed to give him kisses.”

“That’s right,” Jaehyun says, smug as he turns his head, kissing your palm.

“Sicheng!” You exclaim suddenly, and he looks up from his food, bewildered. “You don’t say much, do you?”

“Not really,” He replies, shrugging. “I observe a lot.”

“Well, would you care to share what you’ve observed today?” You ask, and he pauses to think.

“I’ve observed that Paris air has made Jaehyun lovesick.” He starts off, and you snicker. “I’ve observed that Lucas really doesn’t know how to behave in museums. Taeyong’s getting stressed trying to parent us. And,” He concludes, looking at you. “I’ve decided you’re cool.”

“Oh, really?” You smile. “Why is that?”

“Anyone who can put up with Jae’s clingy ass—”

“Hey!” Jaehyun complains.

“Lucas’s childish ass—”

“We’re supposed to be friends, bro.” Lucas says sadly.

“And come close to dethroning Taeyong as the mom of the friend group is cool with me.” He finishes, smiling at you warmly.

“I love this,” Jaehyun beams at you, taking your hand in his. “It’s like my two worlds are colliding and it’s beautiful.”

“Ew,” The boys chorus, and Jaehyun flips them off as he leans down to peck you on the lips.

“Gross!” Lucas huffs, miming throwing up.

“Grow up,” Jaehyun mocks, and you stick your tongue out at Lucas, whose offended face has you struggling to hold back laughter.

“Bro, we can go right now.” Lucas jokes, standing up from his chair and squaring up to fight.

“Alright,” Jaehyun replies, carefully putting your legs down before standing up, mimicking Lucas’s stance.

“Jaehyun, sit down!” You hiss, and he shakes his head.

“I have to defend your honor, baby.” He announces, and you roll your eyes, gesturing for the waiter at the same time Taeyong does.

“Check, please!” You both say in unison.

When you all head back to the hotel, you and Jaehyun make your way to your room after saying your goodbyes, Jaehyun plopping down in one of the chairs and pulling you across his lap. He’s quick to start running his hands up your jeans and pressing kisses to your neck, humming contently.

“I need to change,” You complain, nevertheless leaning into his caresses.

“Get undressed, then.” He hums, slipping his hand up to the button on your jeans, undoing it deftly. “I’ll even help.”

“Aren’t you generous,” You joke, letting him pull the zipper down. You stand up and take off your boots, shimmying out of your jeans and taking your place back on Jaehyun’s lap. He accepts your return gladly, pressing kisses to your neck and jaw.

“Shirt,” He mumbles against your skin, hands finding the hem of your sweater and pausing the kisses to lift your shirt, silently urging you to turn around after he’s lifted it off your head.

He presses kisses to your bare shoulders, hands caressing your arms up and down before sliding to your chest. He cups your breasts in his hands, kneading the soft flesh and running his fingers over your gradually hardening nipples.

“So perfect,” He murmurs reverently against the skin of your shoulder.

“Want you,” You exhale, and he scoops you up in his arms, laying you down gently on the bed.

“Ah, ah, ah,” You stop him just before he gets on the bed. “No outside clothes in the bed.”

“Really?” He groans, and you shrug.

“I guess I could do it myself,” You pout, trailing your hand down your stomach.

“Don’t you dare,” He growls, but watches your hand in awe as you slip it into your underwear. “Stop it.”

“Make me,” You urge, spreading your legs and rubbing at your clit. He can’t see everything due to your red lace underwear blocking the important parts from view, but it’s enough for his jaw to drop and for a pained expression to overtake his facial features.

“Stop,” He chokes out, but his hand palming his length through his jeans tells a different story.

“Make me.”

“You’re such a little brat sometimes, you know that?” His gritted teeth are either from frustration or arousal, and based on the way he’s looking at you hungrily, you’d guess it’s the latter.

“Strip.” You order, biting your lip to hide your smile.

He glares at you before yanking his shirt over his head and tossing it on the floor, abandoned with the rest of your clothes.

“Pants,” You say casually, and he sucks his teeth before unbuckling his belt and tugging his jeans off, leaving him in a pair of black boxers. Kicking off his shoes quickly, he stands there in his glory, just staring at you and waiting for your next command.

You don’t beckon him over yet, waiting to see if he’ll snap. You toss your head back and slip two fingers inside of you, moaning at the feeling. If you’re honest, it doesn’t compare to the way Jaehyun’s fingers fill you up, and you have to stop yourself from reaching for him.

“Jaehyun,” You whine, your eyelids sliding closed. There’s the sound of movement, the bed dips suddenly, and his fingers hook in your underwear, tugging them down. When he flings them across the room, his glance at you is predatory, and any ounce of control you had dissipates.

“Spread your legs for me, baby. Should I eat your pretty pussy?” He purrs, lowering himself to your core, still filled with your fingers.

Before you can even speak, he’s yanking your fingers out of you and attaching his mouth to your core, sucking and licking so roughly that your eyes roll back into your head.

“You don’t even deserve it,” He grunts, pushing two fingers into you, ignoring your gasp of surprise. “You’re lucky you taste so good, baby.”

“Was I being bad?” You pout mockingly, letting a breathless laugh escape you when he curls his fingers just right and drags your clit between his teeth. “Oh, fuck.”

“Shouldn’t even let you come,” He growls, spreading your thighs wider. “But you’re so pretty when you do, baby. On your stomach.” He orders, and you obey, scrambling into position. He lifts you up to your knees and presses your face into the pillow, licking hot stripes up your slit over and over until you’re muffling whimpers into the pillow. “Shut up,” He orders, slapping your ass once. You fall silent, tiny gasps and shudders leaving you as you try and stay quiet. “Are you gonna cum?” He asks, voice an intoxicating blend of throaty and husky, thick with arousal.

“Mhm,” You moan, rocking your hips back into his face. He moans in response, sucking at your folds loudly and pushing his fingers in and out of you until you’re whining into the pillow, keening his name through your orgasm. It’s when he doesn’t stop that you yelp in surprise, shuffling away. He yanks you back into place roughly and smacks your ass for good measure before diving back in fervently, groaning as he laps at your arousal. His fingers pumping in and out of you combined with the sinful way his tongue teases your clit has you writhing under him, mouth issuing swears and his name. “Fuck, Jaehyun, oh my God—”

“That’s it, baby. Give it to me,” He growls, picking up speed in the way his fingers drive into you. He adds a third finger, purring, “Gotta prep this tight little hole for my cock.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Hissing, you clutch at the bed sheets, nails scratching at the plush comforter. “Baby, that’s so good, just like that.”

“Mm, yeah?” He teases, pulling his mouth off of you and moving around. You turn your head to see what he’s doing, and he presses your face further into the pillow. “I didn’t say you could move.” His fingers are still pumping into you, and as you start to climax, he pulls out of you, quickly lining his tip up with your entrance and pushing in.

You swear loudly, moaning lowly in your throat as he drives his hips into you, hands gripping your waist for stability.

“This is what you wanted, yeah? My cock in your tight little hole?” He grunts, thrusting into you and groaning as your walls clench hard around his length as you climax for the second time. “Answer me,” He orders, gripping your ass firmly.

“Yes, Jaehyun, yes, baby, it’s so good,” You cry out, and his hips lose rhythm at the pet name.

He slides a hand up your back to grip the back of your neck, pulling you up so your back is flush with his chest. He drives his hips up into you, mouthing at your neck lewdly. Sliding his hand around to grip your throat, he sucks lightly at the spot just behind your ear, nibbling every so often on your earlobe.

“Choke me,” You moan out, and he obliges, squeezing the sides of your neck until you’re struggling to inhale.

Nipping at the delicate skin of your neck, he slides his hand from your hip up to your chest, shoving your bra aside and cupping your breast in his hand, rolling the nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

“Gonna—” You stutter, and just as you start clenching around him, he releases your throat, cool air flowing into your lungs as a delicious head rush overtakes you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” You whine, and he releases you, letting you collapse onto the pillow.

“Ride me,” He slips out of you and sits against the headboard, pumping his cock slowly as he watches you with dark eyes.

“Oh my god,” You whimper, crawling into position wearily and hovering over his length. “Can I get a second?”

“Mm,” Jaehyun appears to think about it before shooting you a stunningly beautiful wicked grin and driving his hips up as he pulls yours down. “No.”

You cry out loudly, so loudly that you’re sure the neighbors (meaning the boys) can hear, and grab onto his shoulders, bouncing up and down. He nuzzles his face into your chest, quickly removing your bra and taking your nipple into his mouth, sucking and licking the stiffened bud. You try to moan but it comes out as more of a sob, tears streaming down your cheeks from the overstimulation. He looks up at you with lust-filled eyes, smiling around your nipple when he notices that you’re crying.

He brings your face down to his and you think he’s going to wipe your tears and maybe go easy on you, but he trails his tongue up both of your cheeks and you gasp in shock.

“Did you just lick my tears?” You ask him incredulously, and he nods, a wicked grin on his face before he swipes his tongue over your nipple, sucking on one before going to the other and repeating his actions. You moan and he speeds up his pace, drilling into you and nibbling on your nipple. “I’m gonna cum again,” You whine through a new onslaught of tears, and he trails his tongue up to nibble at your jaw, smacking your ass and using the other hand to rub at your abused clit.

You climax loudly, a warm feeling pooling between your legs, and through it all, you hear him gasp as you flex your walls around him. You open your previously shut eyes to see him staring at where you two meet in awe and reverence. He mumbles something but you don’t quite catch it in your post-orgasmic haze, cocking your head in confusion.

“You squirted,” He murmurs in wonder, reaching down to rub at your clit again. “That’s so hot,” He moans when you mewl in pleasure, both pushing him off and rocking into his palm.

“Stop, that’s so embarrassing,” You mumble, heat rising to your cheeks. He shoots you a mischievous grin and your blood runs cold. “Please don’t.”

He starts massaging your clit in quick circles, grinning when you squeal and try to squirm off of him. Pinning you in place with a vice-like grip on your hip, he continues massaging your clit even as fresh tears slip down your cheeks while you moan and writhe weakly.

“I can’t hear you over your moaning, baby,” He teases, busying his lips with yours, licking into your mouth. “What was that?”

“I can’t,” You gasp, moans melting onto his waiting tongue. “I can’t come again.”

“Sure, you can. I didn’t come yet, baby.” He reminds you, rolling his hips under you. A shudder runs through you and you mewl into his mouth, jerking back when his free hand leaves your hip and tweaks your nipple.

Between his mouth, his hands, and his thick cock filling you up, it’s too much, it’s all too much, and your fourth orgasm comes quietly, mouth open in a silent scream and body squirming under his touch. This time, finally, he climaxes with you, a low groan leaving his lips and heavy breaths dissolving in your mouth as he releases his warmth inside of you.

You all but propel yourself off of him, sitting at the foot of the bed and taking in the sight. You observe the wet stains on the bed sheets and his boxers, the droplets of fluid on his abdomen and thighs, and the almost predatory way he’s eyeing you.

“If you touch me, I’ll scream,” You warn him, and he laughs, raising his hands in surrender.

“No funny business.” He promises, and you relax, muscles loosening. “I have an idea.”

“Hit me,” You reply, resting your chin on your palm as you watch him and await his next words.

“We shower,” He suggests, and you let out an amused yelp when he pulls you closer by your ankle, situating you back on his lap. “We...have them change these sheets,” He nuzzles into your chest, kissing the swell of your breasts softly, his grip tightening when you giggle, humming happily. “And we go out on a little date.”

“Ooh, and do what?” You say, intrigued, as you run your fingers through his hair. He leans into your touch and smiles as you lightly rake your nails along his scalp.

“Mm, that’s a surprise.” He answers you, and you pout. “Now who’s doing puppy dog eyes?” He calls you out, and you laugh.

“Okay, okay,” You relent, dropping the expression and climbing off of him and the bed. “I’m showering first!” You announce quickly, racing to the bathroom and crying out as he runs after you, smoothly picking you up. “No fair.”

“We’re showering together,” He decides for you, stepping into the bathroom and shutting and locking the door.

“I’m serious—if you try to have sex with me again, I’ll scream my head off.”

“Relax, this is gonna be innocent.” He promises, smiling down at you.

“Hmph.”

Striding down the streets of Paris with your hand in Jaehyun’s, you feel like you’re on cloud nine.

“We’re here!” He exclaims suddenly, tugging you into an antique bookshop.

“Oh, this is so cute,” You gasp, looking around in wonder. “You really do your research, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do,” He confirms, letting go of your hand to gesture around him. “As Lucas would say, ‘Go crazy, go stupid,’ baby.”

“You’re too much,” You snort, taking his hand back in yours and beginning to peruse the shelves. Works of Anne Sexton, Margaret Atwood, and Virginia Woolf, stand out at you, and you pluck titles from the shelf eagerly before you stop, turning to look at him. “Can—can I read some of one of them?”

“You can do whatever you want, baby.” He assures you warmly, and you beam, plopping down abruptly onto the floor, picking up one of the books and starting to read.

He looks along the shelves, picking out a collection of poetry translations of Marceline Desbordes-Valmore and sliding down the bookshelf to sit beside you.

The two of you read in peace for a couple of minutes before Jaehyun props his finger in the book, closing it and turning to look at you.

“There are so many things I don’t know about you,” He says out of the blue, and you mimic his actions, closing the book and turning to face him.

“What do you want to know? Pick my brain,” You reply simply, and he looks thoughtful for a second.

“If you had to work a job, what would it be?” He asks.

“I’d work with preschoolers.” Your response is instant, and he raises a brow in intrigue, gesturing for you to continue. “They’re so cute, and when my parents made me get a real job—you know, to build character—I chose to be an assistant teacher in a preschool near college, and I loved the kids and everything about it.”

Jaehyun hums in understanding, nodding. “Y’know, before I got to know you, I would never have guessed you’d be good with kids.” He says, and you scowl at him, swatting his arm lightly. “Let me finish! But now that I know you,” He continues, “I think those kids would be lucky to have you as their teacher.”

“Aw,” You coo, pinching his cheek gently. “What about you, Jae? What are you passionate about?”

“I actually really like music. I used to try and write songs, but I wasn’t really that good, so I stopped.”

“How were you gonna get better if you just gave up? Songwriting is like poetry, but harder and easier at the same time.”

“How so?”

“With poetry, there’s always this pressure to be profound, to inspire awe with every word.” You explain thoughtfully, resting your head on his shoulder. “But with songwriting, you can just put the words on the page and just...be. So it’s easier. But it’s harder because you have to make the melody, too, along with the rhythm, and that sounds like so much work.”

“You’re right. That’s exactly why I gave up. I couldn’t make the melodies match the words.”

“Make it a rap song,” You suggest, and he snorts. “I’m serious! You have the voice for it.”

“Okay, baby. I’ll make a rap song.” He says with a snicker, your laughter bringing a genuine smile to his face.

“Drop a mixtape,” You giggle, and he nods eagerly.

“I will!”

“I’ll buy every copy,” You tell him, and he laughs.

“That’s probably for the best, because I don’t think it’d sell very well.”

“Nonsense, it’d win a Grammy.”

“Imagine explaining that to my parents,” He snorts, and you pause thoughtfully, looking up at him.

“What do your parents want you to do? Like, for a job.” You ask.

“They want me to take over the family companies,” He replies, and there’s something off in the way he answers you.

“Do you want to?”

“I don’t not want to.” He says, and you look at him with a serious expression.

“That’s not what I asked.” You inform him, and he bites his lip pensively.

“I don’t know. I think I’m...”

“Scared?” You offer, and he nods after some time, taking your hand in his and playing with your fingers. “Of what, exactly?”

“Letting my parents down,” He whispers, looking down at your entwined fingers. “I think that’s my biggest fear.”

“Oh,” You say seriously, and he presses a kiss to the back of your hand before looking at you.

“What’s yours?”

“My what?”

“Your biggest fear.”

“Oh. Clowns,” You say simply, and he rolls his eyes. “What?”

”Dig deep,” He says, and you think about it before settling on one, taking a deep breath.

“Okay, okay. I think...it’s getting left behind and being truly alone.” You say slowly, and he lets out a low whistle. “That deep enough for you?”

“That’s perfect,” He agrees. “I don’t know why anyone would leave you behind; you’re a treasure.” He replies honestly, and you can’t help but blush.

“I’m scared I’m gonna find my treasure in someone and they’re not gonna see it in me.” You confess, the emotions spilling out of their own free will.

“Anyone who doesn’t appreciate you is an absolute idiot. And you can tell them I said that.” Jaehyun decides firmly, and you laugh, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

“Will do.” You reply jokingly.

The two of you return to your books, conversing lightly the whole time, before your stomach growls and you slap a hand to it.

“Jae,” You whisper.

“Hm?”

“I’m hungry,” You pout, and he closes his book before standing up and helping you to your feet.

“I actually made dinner reservations for us, but we can’t go dressed like this.” He says, gesturing to your outfits.

“Well, let’s go change and go check it out!” You press, cradling your large stack of books in your hands and starting to walk to the cashier, peering from either side of the stack of books.

“Let me,” He offers, taking the stack from you and carrying it easily to the front desk. There’s an elderly man and woman standing behind the counter, smiling at you, and you return their smiles.

“Will that complete your order?” The elderly woman says, craning her head to look at you from behind the stack of books Jaehyun’s placed on the counter.

“Yes,” You say sheepishly, and she nods and starts to ring up your total.

“Keep a lady who reads,” The man behind the counter says to Jaehyun, and Jaehyun looks over at you, making eye contact.

“Oh, don’t worry. I don’t plan on letting her go any time soon.” He replies with staggering sincerity, and a heavy blush settles on your cheeks.

When the woman finishes, she announces your total, and Jaehyun hands over his card before you can even get yours out.

“Jaehyun!” You scold, and he raises an eyebrow.

“What kind of man would I be if I let my lady pay for something on our date?” He retorts, and you open and close your mouth in search of a response that never comes. “Exactly.”

“Oh, hush.” You mumble with a smile.

“Mm, I don’t think so. Now, come on,” He says, picking up the bags of books with ease and gesturing towards the door with his head. “Let’s get some food in you.”

“This place is so beautiful; how did you find it?” You ask, looking around at the grandiose restaurant. Everyone dressed to the nines, the atmosphere is clearly for the upper-class, with soft French music is playing in the background. With the dining area bathed in warm golden light, the whole moment feels exquisite. Jaehyun’s dressed sharply in a grey suit, you’re wearing a mid-length burgundy dress, and he hasn’t been able to take his eyes off of you all evening.

“I did some research,” He smiles secretively at you over the table. You roll your eyes but accept his answer, raising your flute of champagne to your lips.

“What is it about the French language that makes everything sound so romantic?” You wonder aloud, and he smiles, a twinkle in his eye.

“I would say it’s more...sensual,” He replies slowly, and you hum in acknowledgement, batting your lashes at him over your champagne glass.

“Speaking of sensual, I just want to say that I’m proud of you for managing to keep your hands off of me all evening.”

“Oh, you shouldn’t be too proud,” His sheepish grin piques your interest, and you raise a brow.

“And why is that?”

“Because,” He starts, eying you up and down as he leans forward, “I was just about to say that you look good enough to eat.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Mhm,” He drags the syllables out, eyeing you carefully. “As a matter of fact,” He says suddenly, placing his napkin on the table and flashing you a mischievous grin. “I think I want a taste.” Before you can even ask what he means, he’s slipping under the table.

“What—Jae—what the fuck are you doing?!” You hiss at him, leaning back to see him on his knees, the warmth of his chin resting on your own.

“Getting a taste.”

“Are you out of your mind?! Get up—get up, Jaehyun, or so help me, God—”

He grins up at you, warm hands and slender fingers resting on the inside of your knees. He doesn’t move.

“You’ll what?” He’s challenging you, calling your bluff, and it’s working. You didn’t have a plan. “Sit up before someone sees you,” He urges, and you begrudgingly comply.

“I’ll kick you.” You hiss under your breath, and he chuckles, pressing his lips to your knee.

“I can handle a little kick. That won’t stop me.”

“Oh, God.”

“This is really your fault,” He says simply, and you have to bite back a growl of frustration when his nimble fingers hook into your underwear, tugging them down and off your legs. “You just look so good, baby, how could I resist?”

“I’m gonna—” You huff, swinging your leg out. You connect with something solid, hearing a satisfying thud and grunt from under the table. You kick out again, and instead of the same result, you feel his hands catch your foot and curse under your breath.

“Gotcha,” He murmurs, and you feel the heat of his breath back on your knees as he pulls your legs to drape over his shoulders.

“Oh, fuck,” You shudder when his breath fans over your sex, now embarrassingly wet and slick.

“Tell me you want it,” He hums, the tip of his tongue swirling around your clit. Your only reply is a low groan, and he growls, “Tell me.”

“I want it,” You whisper hurriedly, and he laughs softly before his tongue flattens against you. “Mm!”

He licks hot stripes up your sex, fingers parting your folds and licking against your hole. It’s hot and wet and utterly vulgar given the setting.

You do your best to conceal your moans or at least time them with your shaky eating. When he slips his tongue into you, a whimper slips out, and you make eye contact with a woman two tables over. She eyes you in distaste and continues eating, supposedly satisfied with the heat rising to your cheeks.

“I don’t know who you were trying to convince that you didn’t want this,” Jaehyun muses playfully, mouth muffled around your cunt. “You’re so wet, baby.”

You stick your left leg out, letting it thud against his back in protest. There’s shuffling and a brief yelp of surprise that has you giggling into your champagne.

The wet noises coming from under the table are getting louder, and he even moans at one point, fingers clutching at the flesh of your thighs greedily. No amount of kicking seems to shut him up, and as the heat in your cheeks is almost unbearable, so is the tightening coil in your lower abdomen. It also doesn’t help that the same woman from earlier keeps glancing over at you with a raised, judgmental eyebrow, and you muffle a whine of, “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” into your fist.

“Hi there!” Your waitress appears out of virtually nowhere, causing you to yelp and jump in shock. “Oh, I’m sorry about that, ma’am.”

“That’s okay,” You squeak, taking a sip of champagne in an attempt to act natural.

“How is everything so far?” She asks with a smile, and your resulting sound is a mix of a hum of satisfaction and a yelp of surprise when Jaehyun rakes his teeth against your sensitive clit.

“Wonderful,” You choke out and her brows furrow in concern as she glances at the empty seat across from you. “He went to the bathroom,” You lie, and she seems to relax, the lines between her brows smoothing out.

“Okay! Well, enjoy the rest of your meal, and someone will be around shortly with the dessert menu.” She smiles warmly at you, and you return the gesture as best as you can.

“Thank you,” You say, the end of your words swallowed by a soft whine as Jaehyun takes your clit in his mouth and sucks hard that she thankfully doesn’t notice. She walks off and you sigh in relief, a hand slipping under the table to fist in Jaehyun’s hair, pulling him closer to you as you approach your climax.

“Gonna come,” You whisper, and he sucks harder, running his tongue over the abused nub over and over until you’re coming apart with a shudder, eyes meeting the gaze of the judgmental woman from earlier right as you peak. You bite your lip hard and she shoots you a shocked glance which turns into a look of confusion when Jaehyun thoughtlessly emerges from under the table.

“Oh, no,” You mumble, stifling a nervous giggle when realization washes over her expression, leaving disgust and horror in its wake. “Oh...no.”

Jaehyun follows your stare over to the woman and winks, putting his finger to his lips. Her eyes go wide and she looks down, pink rising to her cheeks as she watches Jaehyun wipe his chin—with your soiled underwear like they were some sort of handkerchief—and smirk at you, tucking the garment into his pocket.

“We’re terrible people.” You groan, and Jaehyun laughs, reaching over to hold your hand, swiping his thumb over the back of your hand.

“No, we’re just...young adults who like having a good time.”

“We’re young adults who just scarred a middle-aged woman,” You remind him, and he laughs.

“She should have been minding her business.”

“Okay, fair.” You relent, and he shrugs. “I’m full,” You say slowly, already scheming secretly.

As if by magic, your waitress appears by your table, smiling kindly at you two.

“Can I interest you in the dessert menu?” She asks, and you shake your head politely.

“No, thank you,” You reply with a smile.

“I already had my dessert,” Jaehyun says with a cheeky grin. You swing your leg out under the table, connecting with something solid. “Ow!”

“Sorry, honey.” You say sweetly before turning to the waitress, who’s sporting a mildly confused look on her face. “We’ll take the check,” You say, and she nods, thanking you for your patronage and walking away.

“That was mean,” Jaehyun pouts at you from across the table, and you raise a brow in challenge.

“You think that was mean?” You ask, goading him on. He nods with an adorable frown, and you pout in mock sympathy. “Poor baby. I’ll make you feel better in a little bit.”

“When you said a little bit, I thought you meant a little bit longer,” Jaehyun groans under his breath, tossing his head back in ecstasy.

Your hands on Jaehyun’s thighs, you dig your nails into the fabric of his pants slightly, relishing in the low moan that leaves him. Your mouth is, in the meantime, wrapped around the base of his length, the head of his cock pressing against the back of your throat. The scratchy carpeting of the limo’s backseat bites into your knees as you kneel in front of Jaehyun, eyes looking up at him in faux innocence.

“Fuck, baby,” He moans as you bob your head up and down his length, one hand leaving his thigh to cup his balls, massaging them carefully. A high pitched whine leaves him when you pull your mouth off of him with a pop and swirl your tongue around the head of his cock, batting your lashes at him. “So good,” He praises you, and you preen under his compliment.

“You like that?” You ask innocently before dipping down to lick up his cock from his base to his tip, and he nods furiously.

“I love it, baby, your mouth is like heaven,” He grunts, breathing heavily as he restrains himself from thrusting his hips upwards.

“You want to fuck my mouth, don’t you?” You say slowly, teasingly, pumping your hand up and down his length before giving kitten licks to his slit, admiring the way he trembles under your touch.

He exhales heavily through his nose, knuckles gripping the seat so hard they turn white. “Yes, baby, wanna fuck that pretty mouth of yours.”

You oblige, moving any hair from your face before you hollow your cheeks, placing your lips just around the head of his cock. He wastes no time, thrusting his hips up with a poorly restrained groan, his cock traveling through your mouth until your nose presses against his skin. You breathe in his heady scent, musk and cinnamon, as he lingers there, savoring the feeling of your mouth wrapped around him, taking him all the way in.

He pulls out to the tip before pushing back in slowly, gradually building a rhythm that has tears prickling the corners of your eyes. He’s making an absolute mess of you, what with the tears streaming down your face, the combination of drool and pre-cum you’ve got dripping down your chin, and the pooling of your arousal once more in your underwear. Quietly, you slip a hand down to your neglected sex, rubbing your clit in quick circles.

“Shit,” He curses lowly, hips stilling as he’s fully sheathed in your mouth. You can feel his cock throbbing on your tongue, and you urge his orgasm on by swallowing around him a couple of times, the flexing of your throat pushing him over the edge.

Just as your ministrations on your clit start to relieve some pressure, you moan around his cock, and that seems to do the trick.

His hands flying to the back of your head, he holds you in place with a surprising gentleness as he releases down your throat, shuddering deeply in satisfaction. Even after he’s come, he keeps his cock buried in your mouth until you tap on his thighs for air. He pulls out, you sucking fresh air into your lungs and wiping the mess of drool and cum from your chin, looking around before wiping it on the floor of the limo.

“Was I too rough, baby?” He asks worriedly, and you shake your head, moving to sit beside him.

“No,” You answer, but your now raspy voice speaks for itself. His eyes go wide and he cradles your head to his chest, pressing kiss after kiss to the crown of your head.

“I’m so sorry,” He apologizes, but you cut him off.

“Don’t be—that was so hot.” You admit, and he pulls back to study your face, trying to detect any sign that you’re joking. “I mean it!”

“Really?”

“Yeah; I was even touching myself.”

“You were?” He asks in wonder, eyeing your clothed core as if your dress would magically flip up to reveal your slick heat. “You didn’t come,” He notes, and you shake your head. “I can change that,” He purrs, and you push him off gently, wagging a finger in his face.

“You’ll have to wait until we get back to the hotel,” You tease, and he grins wickedly.

“That gives me enough time to recuperate for a second round,” He muses, and your insides flutter with excitement.

Your legs tangled with Jaehyun’s under the covers, your head rests on his chest as you both scroll through your phones.

Jaehyun nudges you slightly, and you look up to see his lips puckered out for a kiss. You scoff playfully, trying (and failing) to hide your smile as you lean up, connecting your lips in a sweet, lingering kiss. He pulls you up a bit closer to him, fingers slipping under your shirt and trailing along your waist lightly, his touch tickling you slightly.

You rest your phone next to his head as you move on top of him, lying between his spread legs. The room is silent, save for soft, content hums from the both of you and quiet kissing sounds—until, that is, your phone buzzes once, twice, thrice, a fourth, fifth, and sixth time.

Breaking the kiss, you sigh in defeat and reach for your phone, unlocking it to read the new messages. “One second, Jae.” You mumble distractedly, and he nods, leaning up to kiss at your neck and chest.

“No way,” You breathe in disbelief, a huge smile stretching the corners of your lips.

“What is it?” Jaehyun asks curiously, lips pressed to your jaw.

“Johnny’s work got accepted to a gallery! The exhibit is Monday night, and—oh, fuck.”

“What?” Jaehyun asks again, hands slipping down to grab at your hips.

“What time is it? What time is it in South Korea? How long will it take us to get there? Oh, gosh, we should start packing—” You stammer.

“Baby. You’re talking a mile a minute, slow down. I know you’re excited for him, and that’s sweet; we’ll get you to that exhibit on time, okay?” Jaehyun reassures you, cupping your cheek, and you lean into his touch, letting it calm you.

“Would you...come with me?” You ask nervously, sitting up so you’re straddling his lap. It’s sticking your head into a lion’s mouth, bringing Jaehyun to Johnny’s exhibit, and you’re fully aware of just how selfish your request is, but the addicting circles Jaehyun’s tracing on your hip has you aching at the thought of parting from him so soon.

Plus, he whisked you away to a romantic weekend trip to Paris, and you’re just gonna drop him for Johnny like that? Ping pong has never been a game you understood or enjoyed, and emotional ping pong is no different.

You chew your lip worriedly as Jaehyun thinks about it, his brow furrowing. “Please?” You add. “Pretty please?” You link your fingers with the fingers caressing your cheek.

“Okay, baby.” He agrees finally, and you breathe a sigh of relief.

“If you feel uncomfortable, we can always leave! I just want to show my face and congratulate him,” You explain, and he nods, smiling up at you.

“Okay, baby,” He says again. “Now,” He purrs, pulling you back down by your shirt. “I believe we were in the middle of something?”

“Mm, remind me,” You tease, and his hands reach up to cup your face as he pulls you closer for a passionate kiss.

“You’re acting weird,” You mumble to Jaehyun, who’s gone stiff. The exhibit is buzzing with people’s chatter, and the two of you are more than a little bit jet-lagged, having landed and come straight to the exhibit. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing—I’m okay.” He lies poorly, and you raise an eyebrow.

“Mr. Jung,” You scold playfully, “I can see right through you.” You inform him, and through the haze of his acting strange, his eyebrow quirks and he grins at you.

“Mr. Jung, huh?” He teases, and you roll your eyes. “I like the sound of that.”

“Oh, yeah?” You murmur, looking up at him coyly. “Well, Mr. Jung....can you tell me what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” He insists, and you frown.

“It’s being here, isn’t it? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have made you come—”

“No, no, no, it’s okay.” He’s quick to reassure you, rubbing your back comfortingly. “I just have a headache.”

You know him well enough to know he’s not telling you the full truth, but you don’t push it. Instead, you look around conspiratorially before cupping his cheeks and pulling him down, pressing your lips to his forehead.

His eyes light up, and the first genuine smile you’ve seen since you two landed appears on his face. You could almost swear there were little hearts in his eyes, the twinkle in them heartwarming.

“You just—”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” You reply quickly, turning your back to him.

He’s quick to turn you back around, smiling widely. “You just kissed my forehead.”

“We’re not going to talk about it.” You reiterate, and he pouts.

“But—”

“Shush!” You hiss, and he laughs, thoroughly tickled by the blush on your cheeks. “Let’s go look at some art,” You change the topic quickly, taking his hand in yours and pulling him after you.

You’re glancing at various pieces in interest, trying to find Johnny’s, and Jaehyun suddenly stops, not budging when you try to tug him along.

“What is it?” You ask curiously as you follow his gaze. There, on the wall next to you, is the painting of you Johnny made while you were writing poetry at his house. “Oh, my God,” You mutter, your body going slack as you stare at the painting.

It’s nothing short of magnificent; every curve, every freckle, every strand of hair perfectly presented on the paper. His every stroke drips reverence, and you can almost imagine the paintbrush caressing the paper not unlike the way Johnny caresses you. It’s a perfect painting of you, every detail celebrated and highlighted, and it brings tears to your eyes, to be studied—to be seen so completely.

Realizing that you’re not actually alone, you turn cautiously to look at Jaehyun, whose face has both envy and admiration in his expression.

“It’s beautiful,” He mumbles reluctantly, looking down at you with a wounded smile. “It looks just like you. Well, no painting could beat you. No paint can catch that twinkle in your eye when you’re smiling, or the way you bite your lip when you’re nervous.” He says, and you hum warmly, looking at him with intrigue. “Your beauty is in everything you do, baby.” His eyes wander back to just under the painting, and you manage to make out the title of the painting.

A Study of Love, it reads, and you barely contain your gasp. Jaehyun follows your gaze and winces before he can stop it.

“Oh, gosh, I’m sorry, Jaehyun,” You apologize, feeling guilt wash over you in waves. “We can go, I’ll text him that he did well. Let’s—”

You hear your name being called, and you get hit with a bittersweet wave of emotions; fondness because you recognize the voice to be Johnny’s, and dread (because you recognize the voice to be Johnny’s).

You turn to come face to face (well, chest) with Johnny, and your heart drops when Jaehyun politely slips his hand out of yours, excusing himself to the bathroom.

“You came!” Johnny exclaims happily, no tension in his stance. He seems to be in his element, and you’re beyond happy for him. Looking at him so happy, you feel fondness overwhelm you, your heart swelling to just about its bursting point.

“I wouldn’t miss this for the world, Johnny.” You assure him, and he smiles down at you warmly.

“Did you see that Ten and Jungwoo came together?” Johnny asks, and your eyes widen.

“I didn’t know that! So are they, like, you know...together?” You reply curiously. “I haven’t talked to Jungwoo in a while, I’ve been...preoccupied.” You mumble, hoping he won’t ask about your weekend.

“You know, I don’t know. I’ve been distracted by this gallery exhibit, so I haven’t reached out as often as I should have.” Johnny admits, and you smile warmly.

“This exhibit is amazing, Johnny,” You say sincerely, and he, to your surprise, blushes. “I’m really proud of you.”

“Do you like the painting I made of you?” He asks in a rush, gesturing limply to your painted visage on the wall. “The title...I thought it was a bit much at first, but...well, it’s okay if you don’t like it, I just thought you might—”

“Johnny,” You cut off his nervous rambling, and he bites his lip nervously. “I mean it when I say it’s absolutely stunning. It looks just like me.” You gush, and he smiles in relief, sighing happily.

“You’re more beautiful than that silly painting.” Johnny replies, and you scoff.

“Don’t call your work silly,” You say sternly. “It’s really magnificent.”

“But I’m serious. Nothing—no one—compares to you.” He says sincerely, stepping closer to you.

“Johnny,” You laugh nervously, dismissing his words with a wave of your hand. He steps closer, the tips of your shoes touching. It’s silent for a minute, all the tension between you building, ready to burst like a dam, until—

“I really do love you, you know.” He says softly, knuckle caressing your cheek.

Your heart feels like it’s finally burst, and your throat feels like it’s loaded with shrapnel, the words you want to say getting jumbled up with what you should say, what you’re scared to say. It’s like everything slows down, background noise fading to nothingness. Tears of fear, of joy, of some other medley of emotions you can’t put your finger on well up in your eyes, one or two stubborn droplets spilling forth.

“Johnny...” You start, voice thick, but you’re cut off by the arrival of Jaehyun, who looks tense all over again, and you find yourself wondering just how much he heard.

“I’m really proud of you,” You echo to Johnny, averting your eyes a moment too late as you catch his face fall.

“Thanks,” He mumbles, disappointment clear in his voice. The clearly tense moment is broken up by a stranger calling Johnny’s name. “I, uh, should go—that’s the guy who owns the gallery. It was nice to see you.”

“You too,” You reply, words lingering on the tip of your tongue, wanting desperately to come out. When Johnny leaves, you turn to Jaehyun, your mood already lifting at the sight of his face. “Ready to go?” You ask, and he nods, expression a bit listless.

On the drive home, Jaehyun looks like like he’s deep in thought, barely snapping out of his reverie in time to stop in front of your house.

“Jaehyun, are you sure you’re okay?” You ask, and he sighs deeply, leaning back in his seat.

“No, I’m not okay.” He replies calmly, and you have the feeling something is coming. “I want you to be sure of what it is that you want.”

“Oh.” You mumble, looking down at your hands. “I’m getting there.” You reply honestly, and the sad sigh that leaves him has him instantly wishing you could take it back.

“I just want you to know...I can’t hold onto you if there’s a chance you could be happier with someone—or on your own. I just—”

“Are you,” You say slowly, the words barely coming out, “breaking up with me?”

“No,” He assures you quickly. “I don’t think so. I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” You press, too scared to speak in a normal voice lest your emotions show through. “That’s hardly convincing.”

“I’m yours,” He says sincerely, and somehow that doesn’t stop the tears from welling up in your eyes. “Hell, I think I’ll always be yours. I just...I want you to be mine, too. All mine.”

“So you break up with me?” You ask insistently, and he runs his fingers through his hair anxiously.

“Until you figure out who or what you want, I think yes. I can’t see you hurting yourself like this. I can’t hurt like this. This is for the best, I think. I’m doing this for you.” He fiddles with his hands for a second, worrying his lower lip with his teeth.

You have a terrifying feeling you know what’s coming; like a car accident in slow motion, it’s like you can see the impending disaster, feel the crash before it hits. You feel your heart swelling, stretching, about to burst at any moment. Everything around you seems to blur, the car interior deafeningly silent as Jaehyun opens his mouth to speak again.

“I’m doing this because I’m in love with you, princess.”

Everything seems to happen all at once, the emotions from Johnny’s confession mingling with these now painfully familiar feelings. The dam bursts, the floodgates open, the realization hits, and something hidden, tucked away deep in your psyche, breaks.

“You—I—” You stammer, breath coming to you in quick pants as you fiddle so aggressively with your fingers that you’re almost surprised they haven’t broken off. “You love me...so you’re leaving me.” You manage to croak out, and he breathes in sharply at the unsteady tone of your voice. He has the decency to look away when tears start to fall freely down your cheeks.

“I’m not leaving you,” He insists, reaching over to take your hand. “I’m giving you space to think. Take...seven days. Yeah, seven days to think about it, and if I don’t hear from you by the end of the seven days, I won’t push you.”

“But—”

“Have you noticed how we can’t keep our hands off of each other?” Jaehyun says suddenly, and you nod silently.

“Yeah,” You reply listlessly.

“You’re so vulnerable with me sometimes, and I love that you feel that safe with me...but love is about giving your all to someone. I want to know you feel completely safe with me.”

“When did you turn into some relationship guru?” You half-joke, sniffling and wiping your tears in frustration, more rushing to take their place.

“When I realized love was bigger than just me.” He replies honestly, and you snort in spite of yourself.

“Oh, God.” You whine, burying your face in your hands.

“I mean it. So...I know I said I didn’t want to sway you or anything, but...”

“But...?”

“Please choose me,” He says softly, and it’s like you lose your senses all over again, breathless sobs yanked from your lips violently.

“Don’t go,” You plead quietly, not trusting yourself to speak louder.

“I’m not going anywhere. Believe me, I’d fight Johnny for you any day,” He says, and the sincerity in his voice brings some relief to you. “But the choice has to come from you. I have to know you want me—only me—so I can sleep better at night.”

“Okay,” You say, voice husky from speaking around the lump in your throat. “Okay. Seven days, and I’ll tell you who I choose.”

“Seven days,” He echoes, squeezing your hand reassuringly. “You can do it, princess.”

“Okay,” You reply again, not sure what else to say. “I’m, uh...gonna head home.”

“Okay, baby. Good night.” He says as you unbuckle your seat belt and exit the car.

“Good night,” You mumble dejectedly, your body feeling a lot more like wet sand than flesh and blood as you trudge to your front door. Jaehyun’s car lingers outside, not driving away until you’ve safely made it inside. Your cats swarm you instantly, seeming to know something’s wrong. You plop down on the floor, resignedly taking off your shoes and letting them crawl into your lap.

“Oh, Toby, Muffin,” You mumble, stroking their soft fur. “What have I gotten myself into?”

there it is! i really really hope you enjoyed, and if you like me or my writings even a little bit, i’d really appreciate it if you’d leave feedback!! the next update should be up within two weeks! thank you for reading!

#neowritingsnet #ncitynetwork #cznnet #jung jaehyun smut #jaehyun smut #nct smut #nct scenarios #jaehyun scenarios #jung jaehyun scenarios #philophobia #nct drabbles #nct drabble #jung jaehyun drabble #jaehyun drabble #nct blurbs

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jaeminscoffee · 4 years

Text

Lo contrario al amor | q. kn; s. jn

Lo contrario al amor- The opposite of love.

Pairing- Seo Johnny x reader x Qian Kun

Genre- Smut.

Word count- 4.14k

Warnings- threesome, sexual themes followed, stripper!reader au, richceo!kun and Johnny au, overstimulation, horrible depiction of how a strip club works, light spanking, dirty talking, praise kink, honestly a filth, why am i even bothering with the warnings-, pet names: princess, doll, slut, baby girl. Sir kink. Also kinda rushed because I'm an idiot (actually, it's cause i wrote this a day before my sociology exam so..-)

Synopsis- The way they looked at you seemed close enough to love. You thought it looked quite the opposite of love. And your definition of the opposite of love was lust.

Type- Requested! I'm sorry this took long! I really had to push myself to write this oskekke

Raven's up next, you've got 2 minutes!" Jacob screamed in the changing room where you all lined up according to who's going up the stage next, all dolled up, the actual costumes underneath the loose shirts handed to you for coverage until the performance.

"Raven's not performing today. She's got a few other works to do"

Stripper. Not many are usually proud of that line of profession. But you thought nothing wrong of it. You were proud to blurt out "I work at N-WV club as a part time stripper and part time server". You loved dancing and you loved the attention you got, you thought it was great. And you got paid handsomely too so that's a plus one.

What made you love your job further more than you already loved it was the regulars you had during your days of performance.

The thing you liked about your club was they never reveal personal identity. You each had a code name of your own. You were given the name Raven by the audience due to your dark tresses and the variety of black outfits you'd worn and performed and not to mention, absolutely rocked in. Another reason to love your work. Safe identity with no harms to personal life whatsoever.

Hel and Hades. You'd ridiculed the names when you first heard them from your co-worker. "Which idiots would name themselves after the vikings and the death god??" you'd mocked until you actually met the owners of the names.

Always sat the farthest away from the stage but dead in the middle which showcased the entirety of the stage in one screen was the table labelled by their names. Two young sat always adorned in a suit, the coat of the tux shrugged off their body with it loosely hanging over their shoulder, the tie tugged loose with the collar button undone and the sleeves rolled up to their elbow.

One, Hades, the male with dark brown hair that was swept neatly to the side with a few strands resting freely on the forehead. Seemingly a little more built than the other, eyes stoic with focus on each and every one of your moves with the bottom of his perfectly shaped lips between his teeth. His gaze never failed to make you shudder. The only way to explain would be deadly.

The other one, Hel. He wasn't all that bad himself. Far from bad. Faded turquoise hair tousled carelessly at the crown of his head perfectly portrayed his exhaustion at work. But that only added as a charm to him as his messed up hair gave him an ethereal look. He'd always have his arms folded over his chest. Almost the same build as the other. A smirk played on his lips each time you'd discard a material from your body and then another. The look was still the same as deadly as Hades'. A little softer and subtle ton of sin hid under his angelic features. Intoxicating would be the right word for him.

You turn towards the owner of the club just as you hook in your hanging diamond earring, fixing the rhinestone choker "What other works?" you ask confused and a little taken aback at the same time. Mr. Kim (who'd asked you on multiple occasions to just call him Doyoung) was the organized and no 'last minute' booking type of guy. If someone wanted him to do something for them they'd have to let him know that at least a week or two prior. Whether it came to booking a private performance, or booking a VIP seat. It had to be done within a week before the actual work.

"Come with me." he replied calmly with his hands dug into the pockets of his formal jeans.

"Yeah, let me just get my masquerade mask-"

"Leave it behind". You stand in place, still with the motions of rush still going on around you. Leave the mask behind? That'd reveal part of your identity and that definitely wasn't a part of the club. "Huh?"

"It's a private booking, you don't need the mask, doll" Doyoung exclaimed as though he hadn't just failed to let you know of the private booking before the day. "I don't have any private performances scheduled for today, Doyoung"

"Now you have, darling. I'm sorry but they're important to this club. And to me." with that he whipped his head towards the exit door before nodding at you to follow behind him.

You quickly discard the loose shirt, opting to wear a robe around your outfit before you follow behind him through the dimly lit, sketchy yet posh passage across the club to the section where tiny cabins were situated.

You jog slightly to catch up with his long strides while clutching onto the rope of your robe. "Who are they? The oh so important people?" you ask from behind him.

"Mr. Seo and Mr.Qian."

"Who?" you inquire, face contorted in confusion at the unfamiliar names. "Let's say, You'll see once we get there." he replied, taking a sharp turn towards the more isolated regions of the club.

You say nothing in reply, silently following him a few more steps before he comes to an abrupt halt in front of one the cabins at the end of the hallway. He knocked twice on the door, reaching out to the door knob twisting it to unlock the door.

Names of gods of hell was a smart choice.

There sat inside the room were the two regulars, looking absolutely sinister in clothing as simple as formal work wear. " Ms. Y/ln at your service just as you asked for" Doyoung spoke up first after stepping into the room. Expecting him to call you by your work name, you were once again taken aback at how he regarded you with your last name but did nothing to correct him, instead chose to stand silently beside him.

' Must be important enough to break his own club rules. '

"We'll take it from here, Thanks Doyoung" smiled the brown haired lad, Hades.

"My pleasure, Johnny" Doyoung nodded at the other in acknowledgment of his presence before turning back facing you, smiling at you with a tilt of his head and a pat at your robe clad shoulder and headed towards the door with that, exiting the room and leaving you in the closed space with the two men.

You hear the click of the lock from behind you, only now lifting your gaze from the ground as you shift your weight from one feet to another, looking at one male then the other. Your clothing does nothing to help you feel secure under their eyes, strong enough to make you feel bare with two layers of clothing on your body. Weird how you, the confident on stage with at least 50 or more pairs of eyes on you, was now feeling conscious of yourself in front of just two pairs of eyes.

"Hi, I'm Raven-" you start, finally shaking off the nervousness to get your job started and done with, something about both looking at you as though they'd devour you whole having you shaking the slightest.

"Y/n, that's your name, hm?" the one, Johnny, or so called by Doyoung, spoke up, interrupting your mid sentence as the blue haired just leaned forward in his seat, his elbows resting lazily on his knees, absolutely loving the way you were taken aback, the same everyday smirk displayed on his feature.

"Yes. But here in this club, we go by our code names. Please refer to me as Raven, Sir." you reply, stepping out of daze as you tried keeping your tone as polite as possible. "In this room we go by our real names, doll" he finally spoke up, the one beside Johnny. "I'm Kun. That's Johnny. There, we all know each other's names now" Kun, spoke in a smug tone, eyes darkening shades as they roam around your figure.

"But sir, that's against the rules of our club" you try explaining, only after scoffing in your mind as you recalled back to how the owner himself went against the rule. "Here, Inside these four walls, the rules to be followed are only to be set by us, that's what we paid for, princess" Johnny beat Kun to speaking up.

"Yes, sir" you reply after a moment of silence as the two males shifted into a more comfortable position on the leather couch. You stood awkwardly beside the pole in the middle of the room, fumbling with the knot at the center of your stomach, trying so hard not to keep a continuous eye contact with them.

Dangit. What's it with me today?

"So, will you put on a show for us now or do we have to wait a little more?" Kun asked with his eyebrows raised.

"Ah! Yes." you reply quick, making fast steps forward towards the corner of the room where the speaker with a remote on top was situated. You pick up the controller and pressed play, a sensual tune immediately vibrating through the speakers, filling the silent room with the tune. You place the controller back on top of the speaker, inhaling sharply before getting into the mood, shaking off all previous nervousness, instead replacing it with a seductional look and a smirk on your face.

You run your fingers through your hair, intentionally messing it up to make you look even appealing than you already did. You turn towards the front, walking one leg crossing the other towards the pole, circling it, with just your fingers grazing the cold metal as you stare at them one after the other enough to have them hooked at your doings.

You give them a wink before lifting a leg up with a push, the other rooted at the base of the pole as you clutch tightly onto the pole for balance while your body twirled around the metal, the robe still on.

You continue playing around the pole, ending the pole segment with a drop down to the ground in a rather seductive way. The tune passed half of the song, changing into a much faster beat to which you finally hooked your fingers onto the knot hiding your black lace dress under, slowly undoing it while their gazes got much harder. Your eyes travel lower on both of their bodies, a soft dent forming over the blue jeans making you feel proud.

The robe now off, you felt bare than ever with just a black lingerie now adorning your body, but you kept going. You stand dead in front of them as they lean back in their seat.

You move to the beats, feeling yourself finally let loose as the cockiness of all the attention on you got to your head.

Lost in beats, you let out a yelp of surprise when you feel your wrist being tugged at, making you stumble steps and land onto Johnny's lap. You stare wide eyed at him as the domineering aura he had made you feel small under his gaze. You grip onto his shoulder for support to keep your bottom half from touching his muscled up ones. "Keep going with the performance, darling" and so you did.

You'd given lap dances before. But that was at a frat party which was forced and half hearted as it was a stupid dare posed by one your friends. So you were a little nervous as the undying want of making them captivated by you strong enough to overpower the nervousness as you lower yourself and get back to moving to the beats. On Johnny's lap this time around.

Grinding your hips against the latters, you see from your peripheral Kun's head thrown back as he kneaded himself through the material of his jeans, the sight making you whimper softly as you grind harder against Johnny, earning a groan from him.

The song comes to an end slowly, the beats slowing down the same way your movements did, completely coming to a halt once the music stopped. You were panting slightly, palms resting against his built chest (you can literally feel the indents under your hands) when you feel yourself being lifted, in a swift motion over from Johnny's lap to Kun's with your back facing his front.

You look up after having your eyes closed in surprise at the sudden motion only to have Johnny close the space between the two of you, Kun's hands finding their way around your waist. Face buried in your neck. The initial shock of a really good looking guy kissing you while the other played with the skin of your neck washed over your body with a jolt.

Yes, you're loving the feeling. Having the attention of two absolute sinful men, not to mention, good looking ones was heaven. There's no denying that you felt attracted to them. But it went against your club rules, and most definitely against your morals. So you shake off Johnny, placing your hands between your bodies to create some space between the two of you, "I can't -we can't, if Doyoung finds out I'll lose my job, i can't afford that-" you explain as you cower further into Kun's lap at Johnny's strong gaze, feeling like you've just disappointed him. "Then so be it. You can work for us." he leaned in once again, only to be stopped by you for the second time. "No, we shouldn't-"

"No one gets to know what happens inside these four walls and you get to keep your job, how about that?" Kun offered, mumbling into your neck which had you screwing your eye shut at the sensation, "But this is wrong" you try rationalising.

"Oh darling this is wrong in all the right ways, don't worry" and with that you let yourself relax onto the man's body, Johnny forcing himself onto you once he heard you heave out a tiny 'okay'.

One hand holding you still against him, Kun let his other hand travel up while Johnny pressed his lips against yours in a teeth clashing kiss, not wasting a second to bite down onto your lower lip to have access into your mouth. You groan out at the feeling of hands all over your body as Kun kneaded your breast, lips traveling up your neck, to your ear lobe which be nibbled on, while giving most of his attention in playing with your breast.

Eyes screwed shut, your body fall limp on top of Kun's body the moment Johnny cupped your heat through the material of your lingerie, the only thought you had being 'fuck morals' when this is how good they're making you without even directly giving attention to the parts you need them the most. Johnny pulled away from your lips, a thin trail of saliva still keeping you connected as he applied pressure on the bundle of nerves through the material of your clothing, well, barely covering clothing.

"You have no idea how long we've waited for this, baby girl." Kun whispered against your hair while shifting his attention to the unattended boob.

You jerk forward when Johnny enters the clothing, now touching you bare. The feeling of his cold fingers against your sex had your head roll back and rest against Kun's shoulder. "That feels good, right baby?" Johnny inquires while using his thumb to apply pressure on your clit, drawing small circles on the swollen bud the same time Kun pinched the sensitive bud of your chest, making you able to only nod your head at the lads question, "Words, baby. Use your words"

The expression on Johnny's face had you thinking better than wanting to disobey him, "Yes!" you moan out at the increase of speed in stimulation as Johnny's other hand helped keep your legs apart. "Yes what, doll?"

"Yes, s-sir.. " you mewl, feeling a familiar knot form at the bottom of your stomach making your face contort into an expression of pure bliss. "There we go" he cooed, moving his attention from your clit to the entrance, plunging two fingers in straight into the wetness as your sleek wall gave enough access to do so, immediately setting a fast pace, coaxing you to your first high with a shudder in your body. Johnny kept his fingers moving to help ride out your high while you feel Kun shift behind you, "My turn"

You feel yourself being lifted off of his lap and placed on the couch. You hiss when you feel Johnny remove his fingers from within you and into his mouth, licking your juice clean off his fingers. But you don't get much time to intake the sight as you feel soft muscles working their way on your now sensitive core. You look down to see Kun buried between your legs. You were probably too dazed to notice him drag your lingerie bottom down and place himself there.

You whimper as he circled his tongue over your clit while Johnny took his place beside you, kneading himself the same way Kun was a few moments ago. You close your eyes tight at the feeling of Kun's mouth working wonders at your core, a mixture of moans and curses leaving your mouth, "You taste so fucking sweet, baby" the vibrations of his voice sent shocks of pleasure down your core, added to that a finger being inserted into the the messy hole triggered your second high,

"Kun oh!-"

The sounds of him lapping at your juices made your skin heat up, blood rushing up your cheeks while you choke out a sob at the faint pain you're now feeling at the continuous stimulation.

"You did so well, baby" Johnny hushes you while Kun still kept going. Johnny caressed your hair, trying to distract you from the aftermath of being overstimulated.

The feeling being too overwhelming, you finally close your legs over Kun's head, making him come to a halt as he leaned back from his kneeling position. The lighting in the room highlighted the wetness on his chin and lips as you finally got some time to catch your breath.

"Who's going first?" Kun inquired, looking more at Johnny than you while wiping the residue using the back of his hands. Instead of considering giving a reply, Johnny looked at you with tilt in his head and a smirk on his face while you shy away from their gaze. "she'll take both of us like the little slut she is, isn't that right baby?" he asked, a probably rhetorical question while his gaze stayed hard. At the lack of response from your side, Kun took a step forward, bending down slightly, reaching out to clutch your face a soft yet firm grip, forcing you to look at him.

"Aren't you going to answer him, doll?"

"Yes, Johnny." you answer, mind a little clouded to think straight but still managed to form coherent sentences, enough to give a proper reply. "The pleasure really got to you, huh baby?" Johnny inquired, standing up while working on undoing his belt, "It's sir for you slut. Get on your knees. Now"

You scramble quick onto your feet, mumbling a silent 'I'm sorry, sir' and dropped down on to your knees, hissing at the slight irritational burn between your legs but had no time to get distracted with it as the lad in front of you placed himself right before you, tugging harshly at your chin to make you look up to his eyes, "I don't think i need to tell you what to do from here, baby. Get to work" And so you did, you were about to reach out to grip the shaft when you felt Kun rub at the skin of your ass, while providing a soothing feeling for a second before you felt his hands come down with force, making you yelp out of shock with your mouth wide open.

Taking this chance, Johnny let go of your chin, finding comfort in the warmth of your locks instead, pushing himself forward and forcing his hardness into your mouth, groaning at the feeling of your tongue being flat laid out below his member. "You look fucking stunning like this, princess"

Focused on the sounds coming out of Johnny's voice, determined to pull out more, you start bobbing your head forward and backwards, taking in as much as you could each time you pulse forward. You try relaxing your jaw and focus on your breathing as much as possible, to try and not activate your gag reflex when Johnny's hips start thrusting his hips forward, following the same rhythm as your head making the head hit the back of your throat, sending jolts all over your body.

Too focused on making Johnny feel good, you fail to notice Kun enter you from behind, slowly pulsing inch by inch into your still sore wetness, catching you by surprise as you let out a throaty moan, spending waves of pleasure up Johnny's body, pulling him closer and closer to his high.

"How fucking wet." You hear Kun groan from behind you while slowly starting to move his hips once he had completely eased into you, making you lose your rhythm you'd kept for pleasing Johnny, stilling and letting him fuck your mouth instead.

"She's so fucking wet, John. And wet. You're a little whore for all this, aren't you?" the blue haired lad questioned as though expecting an answer, "you love being used like this, don't you?"

Too occupied with being stuffed with a cock in your mouth and Kun picking up his pace from behind you, all you could do was lean forward and balance yourself on all four while letting them take care of your pleasure and theirs.

You feel Johnny's hip stutter, seemingly getting closer and closer to the edge of the cliff. His face contorted in pleasure, seeming desperate to chase his high. The vibrations from your moans and whimpers only dragged him closer, added to the fact how you sucked on his shaft like your life depended on it.

"I'm going to come, baby. You'll be a good girl and swallow all of me, right?" He asked, while buck forward from a rather hard thrust from behind, Kun's groans mixed with yours and Johnny's slightly high pitched ones, along with the sound of skin slapping pulled you close to your high too.

Unable to answer with being stuffed, you nod your head as much as you could while flattening your tongue out and giving one last hard suck, earning a loud groan from Johnny as he came to a halt, thrusting slowly to empty himself completely in you and partly to ride out his high, you keep your mouth wide open to allow him to do so, while screwing your eyes shut while Kun reached out from beneath you, finding the sensitive bundle of nerves and drawing quick circles on it.

Once Johnny pulled out, you immediately swallow all of his essence, not wasting a drop of it while letting out a sob when a particular thrust had Kun finding your soft spot, coaxing you closer to your high making you convulse around his shaft, "Open up, babygirl" Johnny tapped at your cheeks, while his chest heaved up and down. You open, showing him that you'd down aa he asked you to, and immediately closed it again, pulling at your bottom lips when Kun's ministration grew faster and hurried on your clit, "I'm so fucking close, baby. So, so fucking close"

And that was shown by how sloppy his thrusts had gotten. Johnny mumbled out a soft 'good girl' and flopped down onto the leather couch while watching his friend destroy your core.

You reach your high with a loud cry, closing around Kun even frequently that before as pleasure finally turned into pain, your core practically begging for a breather. Your whimpers, and the constant opening and closing around his shaft threw him off the edge as you felt his member twitch inside you before warm fluid shot up inside your sex. Kun whimpered out praises while slowly pulling out once he'd completely emptied himself inside you, running his hands up and down your back in a comforting manner while Johnny looked at your face. Tears running down your cheeks from the constant stimulation, sweat from previous doings and hair disheveled by his grip on it. Drool rolling slightly down the side of your face while yours and Kun's essence spilled out from your core down your thighs.

You were feeling ecstatic. A warmth from being so full. The feeling could be mistaken as love;

"You're incredible, doll" Kun let out with an airy chuckle while Johnny agreed along

But you knew it was the opposite of it and so did the other two in the room.

It was the feeling of your desires being fulfilled.

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