Self abandonment looks like  letting you hurt me in the same way twice and still trying to understand where you are coming from.  It’s like having more empathy  for your trauma than my own.  It’s having an over abundance of patience while you refuse to grow. Self abandonment looks like over explaining myself because  it’s become more important  to convince you of my worth  than treating myself like I  am worth more than this.

Too loyal, too available, too vulnerable— I gave you too much before you could prove that you could handle all of me.

Today traces of you wouldn't leave my mind. I thought of you  a thousand times,  rewrote for you  a thousand rhymes,  and still I couldn't  fill these lines  with you.

Even water, with enough persistence, can smooth the jagged edges of a mountain.

Maybe love, without limits, can  smooth the jagged edges of a broken heart.

She was a star dying for something more. Destroyed by what she was and pried right through my core.

Love kills, depression creates art. Poetry heals while words tear us apart.

I wish I could tell you that no one would ever love you the way I do, but we both know that isn’t true– anyone would.

Learning to let go is like convincing myself water won’t quench my thirst.

She always felt the need to fix everything. Like the way the paint on the walls chipped off just enough to where the red would show through in spots. She’d try to cover it up with paint, but see, that’s where we differed– I found it beautiful  the way her scars would shine through her.

Apparently I forget to post on tumblr, but not IG. Feel free to follow me on there for more poetry: jayytothelee