Disabled Characters Showdown Round 1 Wave 2

Propaganda/Who is this:

Maya Lopez- Also known as Echo, she is a Marvel character who showed up in the Hawkeye tv show as an antagonist. We really liked the way her story was portrayed in the tv show, and she’s just really cool in general. She’s especially fun because she keeps beating up Clint Barton.

Janice Palmer- She is from the podcast Welcome to Night Vale. She is Cecil’s niece, a Girl Scout, and is part of a wheelchair basketball team.

Check out the other polls in this wave and prior here.

The Echo Diner staff #echovn

Source -  Aam (memepilled and copium be like)@AffinityDinaur

Too close

Pairings: Ghostface Bucky x Female reader (I got this idea from a tiktok i saw of someone that made a scream poster of bucky as ghostface and i died and i also read a natasha ghostface fic and it was so good and i thought why not make one of bucky!) This is the fic that inspired this, by @abbyromanoff you can run but you cant hide

Warnings: Mentions of killing, blood, SMUT 18+!!!!! Mask kink, knife play, Blood kink, Daddy kink, Breeding kink, unprotected sex (Bucky and the reader have sex in another room from an unalived person) (My darkest fantasies are coming out to play here sue me) DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18+!!!!!!!!

Summary- Bucky doesn’t like it when people get too close to his girl. What happens when you figure out why everyone you talk to suddenly dies. Will you run?

Kinktober masterlist - Main masterlist - Send me requests!!

~

“This just in another the mysterious serial killer known as ghostface has claimed another victim. 22 year old Jordan Rodriguez was found in her new york apartment with 50 stab wounds. She was found by her roommate Janice after she came home from work. Officers haven’t given many details as to if they are any leads into who this killer could be. But they have advised everyone within the brooklyn area to be inside by 8pm to limit any risks.” The nightly news reporters vice echos through your apartment as you watch through hooded eyes.

This was the fifth person this week to die a brutal death and not to mention you seem to have had an interaction with everyone that has died. Fear floods your veins as your head runs a thousand miles and hour and what this could mean. Is someone out to hurt you? Do you have a stalker who is killing everyone you know to get you alone? Are you next? That’s all you can think about before your thoughts are cut off by the front door opening.

You shriek and jump off the couch and run to the kitchen to grab whatever knife you can. You decide to duck behind your island with the knife as you hear footsteps walk in. The footsteps are heavy yet soft as the approach you. It’s not until the figure comes closer to you that you jump in front of them and attempt to stab them but they catch your hand.

“Woah they’re tiger” The voice says and you drop the knife once you realize who it is. You flick on the kitchen light before walking over to him and throwing your arms around his shoulders and hugging him.

“I’m sorry jamie” You apologize to your boyfriend and he just chuckles in response.

“It’s okay babydoll, but what has you so freaked out?” He asks looking at your with eyes of concern.

You sigh as you look at him before you decide to tell him what’s wrong. “The news- They said another person has been killed…A-And i knew the person who was killed, Ive known all the people who’ve died this week! What-what if someone is out to hurt me? What i-if i- die?” Your voice breaks as you speak your fears. He looks at you and brings you in for another hug.

“Oh babydoll it’s going to be okay im sure it’s nothing” He said calmly as she stroked your back and kissing the top of your head.

You sighed as you looked at him while you nodded your head. Maybe you were just being paranoid you thought, maybe this is just one big coincidence and you’ll be fine. Yea… you’ll be fine.

“Yea maybe you’re right” You didn’t sound too convinced with your own words but you try to shake off the feeling that something bad is happening.

“Come on babydoll lets get you into bed so you stop overthinking in that pretty little head of yours” His voice is so soft and sweet as he takes your hand in his and walks you two to the bedroom. When the both of you enter the room he tells you to lay down and then goes to get something. Thirty seconds later he comes back with your favorite blanket and stuffed animal and slides in bed next to you.

That night the two of you cuddle and have cute little conversations that help ease your overthinking. You fell asleep with him whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

What you didn’t know was that Bucky was panicking since he stepped foot into the apartment. He thought he had been caught when you attempted to stab him but luckily for him you were as clueless as ever.

~one week later~

You sighed as you watched the news and they reported the 8th murder in two weeks. And very unfortunately for you, you had known the persons who died…just like the rest of them. That really didn’t help with the overthinking that’s for sure.

It was around 4am when you decided to turn off the tv and head to bed. Your brows furrowed when you realized Bucky wasnt home yet. You thought maybe he had gotten an overnight shift at the garage but normally he tells you that. You decided to check ‘find my friends’ since it kinda worried you that he wasnt home.

When his location showed that he was at an apartment complex your heart sank. A thousand possibilities were running through your head as you threw some sweats on, grabbed your keys and headed out the door to find your boyfriend.

The whole car ride you were full of anxiety and your brain wouldn’t shut up. Once you pulled up to the complex you quickly ran to the car not in the mood to play around if he was fucking someone else. You followed the gps and walked right up to the front door but you noticed it was open slightly. So what did you do? You walked right into the dark apartment despite not knowing who or what you’d find.

But what you did find sent bile to your throat. There was a figure dressed in all black standing over who you thought was your boyfriend with a knife in their hand.

“BUCKY!” You screamed as you ran over to the body on the floor. It wasnt until you got up close that you realized that the person wasnt Bucky…It was the barista that served you your coffee this morning. Your thoughts ran wild as you mumbled incoherent words under your breath.

But those were quickly cut off once your heard the masked figured laughing. You whipped your head around and stared at the figure in horror.

“Oh Kotenok you’re so precious” The masked figured said as he slowly removed his mask. Your eyes widened as you saw who was under the mask… It was Bucky. You quickly stood up and backed away from him as you started to hyperventilate.

“W-What the hell?” You finally said after you finally slowed your breathing down. Bucky chuckled as he came closer to you and wiped some sweat off his forehead.

“I guess it’s finally time to tell you-“ He said as she took off the costume and dropped the knife. You stared at him as his hand come up to caress your cheek. “You see kotenok i never meant for any of this to happen- But these people-t-they flirt with you and get too close to you. And i cant have that, i cant have people wanting to take what’s mine. And see i wouldn’t mind so much that people mindlessly flirt with you… if you didn’t flirt back” He seethed as he grabbed your face.

You were speechless at his confession never in a million years did you think he’d do this. But the idea that you’re his motive, that he just wants to keep you to his self is intoxicating. You look up at him with doe eyes before you finally find the words to say.

“You do all of this to make sure that i stay yours” Your voice heightens in excitement as you wait for his response.

His grip tightens on your face as he speaks. “Yes kotenok i do- i cant stand the thought of someone else having you the way i do” He confess as his eyes darken at the way you smirk.

“That’s- the hottest thing i think you’ve ever said to me” Bucky smiles devilishly at your words and suddenly picks you up and pushes you against the wall. His lips are on yours within a seconds time and the kiss is the dirtiest thing you’ve ever done.

“Put the mask back on” The words come out breathless as your chest rises due to the lack of air. He smirks as he walks you over to the couch and lays you down before grabbing the mask and knife again. He put the mask back on and then slowly stalks towards you and he twirls the knife in his hand.

“Oh fuck” You whisper under your breath when he climbs on top of you. Even though you cant see his face you know for a fact he’s smirking. He wastes no time in ripping off your shirt along with your sweats leaving you in just your panties.

“So pretty” His voice comes out a little muffled as he speaks due to the mask but it made it so much hotter. He then takes the knife that he wiped off and drags it across your bare chest. Your breath hitches in your throat as the cool metal hits your skin. Bucky then drags the knife down your torso and slices your panties off and drags it across your bare pussy.

“Please” You beg as you grab the hand with the knife and place it on your stomach. He places the blade on your skin and digs it in just a little, “Mark me” Bucky wastes no time in carving his initials into your skin he leaves a little ‘J.B.B’ on your stomach, before wiping the blood away with his thumb. Your grab his thumb and slowly bring it to your mouth before you clean his thumb off.

“Fucking hell kotenok” He groans at your actions. Bucky grows impatient as he throws the knife across the room making note to pick it back up later. He then spreads your pussy and starts to play with your clit and your back arches in reaction.

“Please daddy” You beg and then he adds two fingers into you in a swift motion and chooses a relentless pace. This is the filthiest thing you’ve ever done but right now, in this moment you dont give a flying fuck.

The pleasure you feel is beyond intense as Bucky curls his fingers and hits your g-spot just right. You let out a screaming moan as your first orgasm bursts through you. “Oh fuck” You breathe out the best you can as you slowly takes off his pants and boxers exposing his hard cock standing at attention for you.

“I want you so bad please daddy” He doesn’t need much motivation after you give him the go ahead. Bucky slams his cock into you hard and fast and you scream in response to his movement.

“Yes yes yes” You chant as you sit up and wrap your arms around him as Bucky slams into you. The room is filled with the filthy noises of your pussy and his balls slapping your skin.

“Gonna fucking breed you kotenok” He grunts and picks up his speed chasing his high. You can feel your second orgasm build up as he talks about breeding you.

“Oh please breed me daddy- fuck- wanna be full of your babies” You plead as you grind your hips down on his cock earning a guttural moan from him.

“Yea? You want that your little slut? You wanna have my kids?” He asks even though he already knows the answer. You dont find the words to respond and just opt for nodding your head. And in turn Bucky changes the position so he’s back on top and he thrusts into you like never before. Your moans become louder and his pace gets rougher. The both of you end up finishing within a matter of minutes and once you do you take the mask off him and just stare at him.

You take a moment and rub your thumb over his bottom lip before you bring him into a passionate kiss. Bucky grunts into the kiss and wraps his arms around your waist lovingly. After you break the kiss you look into his blue eyes and smile softly.

“I love you” You whisper and put your forehead against his. In this moment you love him more than you ever thought possible. Did he murder someone? Yes. Did he kill almost a dozen people just for you? Yes. But he also did it because he loves you and that just makes your heart swell. You get an idea after a minute of just looking at him.

“Let’s clean this place up and then run away, Lets go some where else where it can be just us” You say with a pleading looking in your eyes. Bucky agrees and nods before getting you both dressed again.

The two of you clean up the mess and decide of what to do with the body before heading back home to pack your things. That night while in a way tragic was also the start of the rest of your lives together and you couldn’t be happier.

~the end~

i do not give permission for my work to me translated or copied on other websites

I'm Gonna Love You Through It

Pairing: JoeQuinnxFemReader

Summary: Request

You have family issues and they've cropped up so you've been hiding in your room from everyone. Joe thinks you're sick so he shows up with chicken soup and to comfort you.

18+

You lay in bed, where you had been all day. Getting up, facing the day, trying to do anything…it all just felt far too exhausting. You hated yourself when you got like this but every time you had to deal with your family it led here, to you in bed unable to function as you tried to claw your way from the dark place they sent you. 

You had thought about calling your boyfriend, Joe, but you’d only been dating a few months and you didn’t want to subject him to this side of you. What if it scared him? What if he decided he was better off not being attached to someone who broke down after a simple phone call. He’d just said he loved you. This would change that real quick.

You knew how this went. No one in your life had ever truly loved you. You’d always had to jump through hoops to earn love. It was never just given. The problem was every single time you thought you were crossing the finish line, that line got erased and moved farther away. Nothing you did was ever enough. Everything was always your fault. 

Of course it was. When you met Joe, you’d been so swept away by him completely. Those soft brown eyes that pulled you right in, those full lips that were so delicious pressed against yours, those curls with that one rogue curl that always fell over his forehead. He was perfect, but you’d been keeping him at arm’s length, terrified to let him in completely, to give him the power to destroy you as others had. You’d been terrified to let him really see you because…you hated what you saw. How could he not? When he’d said those words the other night, you’d felt the anxiety building within you because you knew the truth. You were unlovable. You’d been reminded of that your entire life.

A knock at your front door stirred you from your morose thoughts. You turned your face into your pillow, hoping whoever it was would go away when you didn’t answer. Your body didn’t have enough strength to get up and open the door and your brain definitely didn’t have the capacity for a conversation with anyone. 

“Darling!” Joe’s voice called and a whimper escaped your lips at the sound of his voice. All you wanted was his arms around you, that sweet British accent whispering assuring words in your ear, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t let him see you like this. “Come on, love, I know you’re in there. I was worried because you haven’t been answering the phone. Janice said you called off work the last couple of days because you weren’t feeling well. I brought you chicken soup. I just want to take care of you.”

You pulled the comforter over your head, wishing you could drown out that honeyed voice, his words that were dripping through all the empty, hollow places within you. How did he do that? How did his mere presence just shine light in all the dark places? But no, you couldn’t let him in. You hadn’t showered in three days. You’d been lying in your dark cave, curtains drawn to block out all light. You couldn’t imagine how awful you must look right now.

“Sweetheart, are you going to let me in?” he asked, knocking again. “Come on, I don’t care if you’re not feeling well. Let me nurse you back to health.”

You stayed silent, barely breathing, silently wishing for him to abandon this plan and leave. Your whole body lay still, terrified to move, to give away the fact that you were in here. You had no idea how you would explain ignoring him, but that was a problem for another day. You couldn’t focus on that right now. You had to get your shit together before you faced him again.

A slow sigh escaped your lips as silence greeted you. He was gone. Your weakness and instability remained a secret. Just as you were closing your eyes, you let out a scream as a loud bang echoed through the room. Sitting up quickly, you turned your head to find Joe climbing in through your bedroom window. 

“What the hell, Joe?” you exclaimed, eyes wide with terror and shock at this man just breaking into your house.

He paused, tupperware in his hand, and offered you the sweetest, contrite smile. Holding up the tupperware, he looked back at the window and then at you. 

“Okay, I know this might seem a bit extreme, but you weren’t answering me, darling. I was worried. What if you were so sick that you couldn’t get out of bed or needed to go to hospital? I thought of breaking the door, but I didn’t want to cause damage so I decided to try the window and well, here I am.” He shrugged, holding the soup out to you. “Chicken soup for you. I made it myself. My mum always made me some when I was sick and so I thought…I don’t know. I thought it might make you feel better.”

You took in the sight of this man, this sweet man who’d broken into your place just because he wanted to bring you soup and make sure you were okay. Not only that, but he’d made the chicken soup himself. Jesus, he was the most precious man. You wanted to break your walls down and let him in but it was so difficult. You’d been hurt in the past, every time you’d decided to break a little piece of your wall and allow someone to sneak through, you paid for it deeply. 

Joe walked over, sitting down on the bed next to you. He set the soup on your nightstand and then stretched out beside you. His arms wound around you, pulling you against him and you melted into his warmth, burying your face against his shirt, inhaling the scent of him, feeling it loosen all the tight spaces that had knotted within you over the last few days. 

“So, what is it, darling?” he asked, his palm rubbing circles over your back. “Upset stomach? Cold? Flu? What is ailing my sweet girl?”

“I…uh…” You had no idea what to say. How could you explain that what was ailing you had nothing to do with your body but with your mind and your heart? You considered lying but this man who had gone so far out of his way to care for you deserved better than that. “I’m not actually sick.” 

“You’re not?” he asked, no judgment in his tone, just concern. “Then what is it? What has you so down?”

“Joseph…I…shit,” you muttered. You really didn’t want to have to share this with him. Once you told him, would he see you the same way your family did? As expendable? As worthless? As someone who didn’t deserve love?

“Hey, love, look at me,” Joe urged, his knuckle pressing under your chin, raising your face so your eyes met his. “You can tell me anything. I love you. I told you that. There is nothing you should ever be scared to share with me. I just want to be here for you, darling.”

You released a slow breath, “It’s just family bullshit. I try not to deal with them as much as I can. I left when I was nineteen and I avoided them at all costs. I’m basically estranged from them. But sometimes, shit happens, and I have to deal with them. It always fucks with my head. My whole life…” You paused, swallowing down the lump of tears that had lodged in your throat. “My whole life, I’ve never been good enough. I’ve felt like I was the expendable member of my family. I always had to earn love but nothing I did was ever enough. Every time I thought I had the game figured out, they would change the rules. And every time that I have to talk to them, they remind me how unlovable, how unworthy, I really am.”

“Oh my darling, you are anything but unloveable. You are the most loveable person I know,” Joe assured, pressing his lips to your forehead. “You are so worthy and anyone who doesn’t see that, who missed out on the chance to have you as a part of their life, that’s their loss.”

“That’s sweet, but…”

“No buts,” he stated firmly, taking your face in his hands. “You listen to me. You are beautiful. You are kind. You are intelligent. You are strong. I’ve always thought you were strong but now I know how very strong you are for getting through what you’ve gone through and still being open to love. You haven’t shut down. You haven’t hidden from the world or become jaded and nasty. You are more than worthy, my love. You are exemplary. You are a wonder.”

Tears stung your eyes and you nibbled on your bottom lip as you took in his words. Could it be true? Could someone as perfect as Joe actually see all of that in you? Could you be worthy? Could the problem be them and not actually you? You wanted to believe it more than anything. 

“My poor, sweet, beautiful girl,” he whispered, pressing gentle kisses against your forehead, your eyelids, your nose, your cheeks. “I am so sorry that your family are a bunch of bloody idiots, but know that I see you and I value you and I am so thankful that you chose me. I know how very lovable you are because I am hopelessly in love with you.”

Need unlike anything you’d ever known pulsed through you. The need to be as close to this man as possible, to feel his love for you, to feel like you were as worthy as he told you that you were. 

Crawling over top of him, you smashed your lips against his in a frenzy of lust and need. Joe groaned, his arms coming around you, crushing you against him. You parted his lips with your tongue, sucking on his tongue and then your tongues were warring against each other in a frenzy of chaotic desire. 

“Too many clothes. I need your skin on mine,” you muttered, your fingers working at the buttons of his shirt, pressing the material away from his chest. Joe sat up so you could pull the sleeves down his arms and toss the shirt. You make quick work of your own shirt before collapsing against him, your mouth finding his again. 

“Damn darling,” Joe hissed as your mouth blazed a fiery trail over his skin, savoring every delectable inch of him that your lips could find. 

He sat up, his hand cupping the back of your neck and bringing your lips to his, his kiss setting a fire in your belly that needed to be quenched with an unsettling urgency. His mouth fell upon your breasts, working one nipple and then the other until you were writhing, desperately rubbing yourself against him in an attempt to find relief that would not come until you’d done away with the rest of these clothes. 

“Joe…” you groaned, moving off him to pull your sweats and panties down in one swift movement. “Pants…get your pants off now.”

“Oh…uh, yeah,” he nodded, hastily pushing them away. “But darling, don’t you want me to…”

“No, no time,” you argued, straddling him again. “I need you now.” You gripped his cock, holding it in place as you lowered yourself over him, your eyes rolling back at the feel of him stretching you in the delicious way only he had ever done. 

“Fuck, yes,” he growled, raising his knees so you could rest against them. You grabbed the back of his neck, using it as leverage as you moved your body against his, both of you moaning at the sweet relief of your bodies being joined. “Love, that’s so bloody good. Don’t stop my sweet girl.”

Oh, you had no intentions to. Your body was vibrating with the feel of him inside you, this angle allowing him to hit that sweet spot that always sent you over the edge. His hand slid between your bodies, his thumb working over your clit and you whimpered, your head falling back. 

“Oh Joe! Yes baby. Fuck,” you muttered, your hips moving at a frenzied pace, rocking against his cock and his hand, your body desperate for the sweet release only Joe’s body could give you. 

“Look at you,” he growled, gripping your hip with his other hand as he lifted his hips to meet yours, the sound of your bodies colliding echoing through your ears. “Tell me this isn’t a worthy fucking woman. You are a warrior. You are fierce and sexy and gorgeous and…Jesus!”

At his words, your orgasm crashed upon you, your body convulsing with the relief you felt, everything you’d been feeling the last few days just seeping out of you. You shrieked in ecstasy and as your body spasmed around him, you felt Joe follow, filling you with his release. 

Your entire body shook, completely spent with adrenaline and pent up emotion that you’d finally let flow through you. The tears you’d been fighting since he’d come through your window began spilling down your cheeks and you fell forward, burying your face against his neck. Joe’s arms instinctively came around you, cradling you close, him still inside you. 

“Oh darling,” he murmured against your hair, one hand coming to cradle the back of your head. “It’s alright. You let it out. I’m here for you. Just, let me clean up and then…”

“No,” you replied, shaking your head. “Can we just stay like this for a bit? Please? I just…I want to feel as connected to you as I can. I want to feel…I don’t know, like I am a part of something.”

“My love, you are,” Joe assured, his lips pressing against the top of your head. “You are a part of us. You are a part of me, and I am not going anywhere ever. We can sit like this for as long as you want. I am never going to complain about having my cock nestled snugly inside you. Your pussy is his home, you know?”

You laughed softly, looking up and kissing him. “I know I didn’t say it the other night. I’m sorry. It’s just…love has always been a complicated thing for me. It always came with strings and I…”

“Shh,” he said, pressing his finger to your lips. “I said it because I felt it at that moment. You don’t have to say anything until you’re ready.”

“But I do feel it, and I am ready,” you said. “Joe, I love you. And that scares the shit out of me. It does. Because loving you means that I have so much more to lose, but it doesn’t change how I feel. And, if I didn’t know before tonight, I know now with absolute certainty that you’re worth the risk.”

That smile, that warm smile that made all your insides as gooey as the marshmallow in the middle of a s’more crossed his lips and you couldn’t help but smile back. Those big puppy dog eyes looked at you with such affection that you could believe, at that moment, that this could be different. He could just love you. No games, no strings, no ultimatums. Just simple and pure.

“Hey, who needs your family? Just because they’re blood doesn’t make them family. You and me? We can be a family. We can create the kind of family you’ve always deserved,” Joe said and you swallowed hard as the sentiment behind his words settled in. 

“You really think about that stuff with me?”

“Oh darling,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “I’ve been thinking about those things from the moment our eyes met. I know what I want and I am not saying we have to rush anything, but I promise you, I will spend my life making sure you know how very worthy and loved you are.”

You tucked yourself against this man, thinking he was absolutely perfect. How could one man be so fucking exquisite? You were one lucky girl and regardless of what you’d been through in the past, if it ended with a life shared with Joe, then everything was going to be okay.

Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva

ＰＡＲＴ　０１

〚ＦＩＲＳＴ〛〚ＰＲＥＶ〛〚ＮＥＸＴ〛

Disclaimer: This is a fan-translation for the Japan-exclusive novellisation of the movie Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva. The original novel was written by Aya Matsui under the supervision of Akihiro Hino, and belongs to Level-5.

This translation only aims to be a pleasant read for non-Japanese fans, nothing more: I made a few deliberate changes while translating in order to get the writing style closer to what is usually found in English fanfictions, as the Japanese storytelling can sometimes be different than what we are used to.

♪

As we rise out of the sea The stars’ glimmers sing praises This soul remains close to your heart

As the sunlight filtering through the foliage sparkles The forest’s raindrops sing praises These eyes shall sleep and watch over your dreams

Count the lives that sank at the bottom of the sea We believe that someday This prayer will reach you

Now let the eternal slumber alone prevail The tears of the beloved Dissolve into the sea

Beyond a thousand nights If the day ever comes When you smile once more We will never cry again

Beyond a thousand nights Watch in our dream The day we meet again As we sing this song

Believe in the promise Beyond the far-off time We will see your smile again

As you stand in the future when the skies intersect You must let our thoughts guide you back to that day

We will never run out of the tears That are destined to none but you We lie asleep dreaming of you

We shall now sleep Always thinking of you Our beloved...

♪

── London・Present

☆ Janice Quatlane

The sound of thunderous applause brought me back to reality.

This was just a rehearsal for tomorrow’s performance…

I could now remember that I was on the stage of the newly built opera house in London. And yet, I still found myself thinking: “The sea that was just now spread out before me, where did it go?”

The azure blue sea softly embraces the island of Ambrosia, the gentle waves lapping at the shore…

“Miss Quatlane, what a wonderful voice!”

“This fabled opera, The Eternal Kingdom… Nothing could be more fitting for the inauguration of this opera house!”

“Oh yes, I can already see the audience going wild!”

“They had better be! Tomorrow will mark the second time it was ever performed!”

The impresarios seemed to be praising me, but their voices were all drowned out by the sound of the waves that were still echoing in the depths of my heart.

Swoosh… Whoosh… Always thinking of our beloved Eternally dancing to and fro between sea and land

Looking at the sea was like looking at myself, wandering back and forth between dream and reality…

“The memories of the melody…”

All I could do was mumble these words. Standing here, after the end of the song, made me realise… There was something that I had carefully buried inside of me, out of my sight, never to look back. But now, the melody of The Eternal Diva was the key that had just unlocked it: the memories from three years ago.

Memories that were made not of images, but of feelings and emotions…

Joy, sadness, sorrow, pain… I want to see you, I yearn to see you, I languish without you, I want to see you…

These thoughts and feelings all came back to me in a single instant, and they pierced through my entire being. I was almost crushed by this tsunami of emotions, leading me to reconsider my previous decision. Was it really a good idea for me to sing The Eternal Kingdom tomorrow, in front of a live audience?

I could not believe that these memories were still occupying so much space in my mind, even after all this time…

It was a selfish request of me, but the composer, Mr. Oswald Whistler, had graciously accepted to let me sing it again. The reply in his letter was filled with such warm words:

Miss Quatlane… No, I will call you Janice, just like old times. How long have I waited for the time when you would ask! I know what you said three years ago; that you wanted to seal The Eternal Kingdom forever… Still, even from that very moment, I had been hoping to see your role as its diva rise again one day. I understand how much pain and grief it caused you at that time. But Janice, you must never forget that I wrote this opera for you, and you alone. To me, music is the most sacred thing in this world. No matter how foolish and fragile the human heart may be, only music will never burn its wings and fall alongside it. I am with you, Janice. You are an angel chosen by the muses. Please, by all means, I want you to embrace the whole of London with your great love as the diva. It truly is a pity. I would already be rushing over to the opera house and supporting you if I could, but we both know that reality will not make this possible. 　　　　　　　　With all my love, 　　　　　　　　　　　Oswald Whistler

When his letter said that this opera had been written only for me, of course I believed him. I already knew this was true.

Thinking of his words again made me understand: this was a piece that I needed to carry on singing, again and again, for as long as I would be able to. This was my fate.

However, one important thing that few could know, was that this opera never was mine. This, too, was fate.

I only sing for you.

Can you hear it, Melina?

My best friend…

I’m coming back tomorrow, to see you.

All I can do now is keep hoping, thinking back to that time three years ago, when we spent time with Professor Layton…

　↚　　　　　　　⇛

“The dawn of a golden new era in international space cooperation is echoed in the gold-dusted morning sky that greets the orbiter discovery as it glides in for a landing on Runway 15 of the KSC Shuttle Landing Facility. During the approximately eight-day, six-hour flight of STS-63, the crew completed a close-in rendezvous and flyaround with the Russian space station Mir, performed research in the SPACEHAB-3 lab module, and deployed and retrieved the SPARTAN-204 free-flyer. Heading up the six-member crew is Commander James D. Wetherbee; serving as his second in command is Eileen M. Collins, the first female Shuttle pilot; Bernard A. Harris Jr., a medical doctor is the payload commander; and Janice Voss, C. Michael Foale and Vladimir G. Titov, a veteran Russian cosmonaut, are the three mission specialists. Discovery’s successful rendezvous with Mir has served as an excellent dress rehearsal for a planned series of dockings between the U. S. Shuttle and Mir, slated to begin later this year. After the astronauts had landed, the cosmonauts aboard Mir radioed their congratulations on the mission’s completion and a job well done.”

Date: February 11, 1995

NASA ID: KSC-95PC-294

Ode to Porches

On porches bathed in brilliant sun enduring friendships are begun as neighbors air their hurts and joys        and children learn to share their toys.   On moonlit porches, arm in arm, sweethearts display romantic charm. The night was made for them, it seems. Love fills the air and starlight gleams.   On crowded porches trips are planned by those who dream of surf and sand or snow-capped mountains far away. They'll have their respite, come what may.   On countless porches you will find retirees resting weary minds. They've other things than work to tend; they're waiting for their second wind.   Old porches now in disrepair attached to homes bereft and bare still echo with the lives of those who have gone on to sweet repose. by Janice Canerdy

CHAPTER 4: THE BODY

This is an Original Character fanfiction. All Stranger Things characters and content are owned by Netflix and The Duffer Brothers.

a/n: Enjoy!

Warnings: Officer Callahan tbh.

Word Count: 2056

Masterlist

PART I || PART II

Thursday, November 10, 1983 - HAWKINS HIGH 

“Now, the three main reasons for The Civil War were one, disagreements over slavery, two, state vs. federal rights…” 

I stare outside the window watching the trees ripple in the wind, drowning out the history lesson. It’s been hard to concentrate and I can’t think about how heavy yesterday was. From finding Barb’s car, the thing with no face in Steve’s backyard, running to Lucas in the front yard after finding out about Will. The events following after Mom and Erica found Lucas and I on the front lawn feels like a fever dream. I remember being led to the front door, Erica calling out to Dad, Dad questioning Mom about what happened. I don’t know how or who took a shower first, but I know Mom was talking to me but I couldn’t hear anything. 

The shock of something happening to Barb and the police finding Will in the Quarry didn’t sink in until I lay in bed. I couldn’t stop crying. I woke up this morning squished between Lucas and Erica. Lucas lying almost horizontal and practically hanging off my bed while Erica snuggles into my back like a baby koala basking in my body heat. It’s been a few years since Erica and Lucas slept in my bed and I’m sure Mom has taken multiple photos of us all sleeping together. She loves taking photos and videos of us. 

The news of Will spread across the entire town like wildfire. Whispers of fear, concern and condolences echo in the hallways. I don’t see Jonathan which makes sense considering. I saw Nancy this morning in first period. Neither of us talk, both too wrapped up in our own thoughts to say anything. Mom dropped me and Erica at school this morning. Lucas stayed home. He hasn’t said much since last night and the family has given him space to grieve. For all of us to grieve. We knew Will too. 

“Diana Sinclair?” 

I blink out of my stupor, perking up in my seat. Principal Higgins stands at the door looking at me. 

“Y-yes?” 

“If you’ll come with me, please.” 

Everyone’s eyes are on me and I quickly stand up avoiding their stare as I pack up my books. Principal Higgins escorts me down the hall and I wonder what’s happening. I am led to his office. Janice, the secretary is scribbling on yellow legal pad, her plum-coloured outfit matching her eggplant-coloured nails. She smiles at me, magnified eyeballs warm and kind. 

“Hello, dear,” she greets. 

“Hi, Janice.” 

Principal Higgins nods his head respectfully in greeting and guides me to his office where two officers stand. My eyes widen in alarm and I linger outside the office not wanting to go inside. The two officers look at me through the window and I feel my knees tremble. I don’t know what to expect. I mean who does when it comes to being escorted out of class to speak to police officers. I immediately fear the worse. Barb. Principal Higgins opens his office door. 

“Officer Powell, Callahan. This is Diana Sinclair.” Officer Powell and Callahan peer out the door. Principal Higgins looks behind him and notices I’m not behind and smiles patiently. “It’s okay, Miss Sinclair, you’re not in trouble. Officer Powell and Officer Callahan just want to ask you a few questions.” My heart races. That doesn’t make me feel any better.

I wave half-heartedly with a closed lip smile. “H-Hello.” 

“Good Morning.” 

“Hi.” 

They answer at the same time. 

I don’t move from my spot in the middle of the office and the officers don’t move from where they stand. The whole encounter is awkward and I really want to run back to class and forget this ever happened. I shift side to side on my feet, playing with a loose thread on my skirt wondering what we’re waiting for. If they wanted to ask me questions, wouldn’t Principal Higgins have ushered me into his office to talk? Everyone was just standing here like they were waiting for something or someone. My ears immediately perk up when I hear soft clacking of heels walk into the office and I turn my head to see who it could be. My eyes widen and my jaw drops. Mom stands by the entrance wearing a sleek black trench coat with small kitten heels. Her hair is styled in a nice bob and looks freshly done, meaning she just got back from the salon. Principal Higgins walks past me to greet her, shaking her hand firmly and mom smiles her classic southern belle smile at him. 

My heart is beating so loud, I can hear it in my ears. I clutch my pendant tightly in my hands fearing I may pass out from overstimulation. Principal Higgins nods to the officers and they walk out his office excusing themselves past me. I blink realizing I’m still standing in the middle of the room like a deer stuck in headlights. The men walk out the door while Mom lingers waiting for me. She extends her arm and on instinct I walk towards her in a trance. Mom wraps her arm around my shoulder and without a word, we walk out the office.  

Principal Higgins brought us to the cafeteria. It was empty, but I know the lunch ladies were in the kitchen preparing the food for lunch. He leaves us to parade the hallways and Mom and I are sitting across Officer Powell and Callahan. They introduce themselves to Mom and tell us both, that they are here to talk to me about Barb. It turns out Mr. and Mrs. Holland went to the station this morning to file a missing person report and told them mine and Nancy’s name as the last people who saw her. I guess they are going to talk to Nancy next which meant, Mrs. Wheeler was going to come to the school too. I wish I could’ve warned Nancy about what was happening, but I can’t. I tell the officers what happened Tuesday night. 

“So, after this argument—” Officer Powell continued. 

“It wasn’t an argument,” I correct, shaking my head. “It was a…disagreement.” I’ve been talking to Officer Powell and Officer Callahan for the past fifteen minutes answering their questions. Mom sits quietly beside me, listening intently to the conversation. 

“Okay.” Officer Powell said. “After the disagreement, what happened?” 

“I walked home.” 

“You walked all the way home in the middle of the night.” It wasn’t a question. Officer Powell and Officer Callahan both looked skeptical about the thought. It takes almost two hours or more to walk uptown.

“Well, no. I-I got a ride.” 

I can feel Mom looking at me now. At the Wheelers with Barb’s parents, I didn’t get the chance to answer Mrs. Wheeler’s question before Mike stormed inside the house. To be honest, I was hoping I would never have to. Part of me wants to keep Eddie a secret. Not because I was embarrassed of him, the complete opposite. He seemingly was the only good in my life right now and I don’t want it all to be too good to be true. Officer Powell and Officer Callahan glanced at each other, my answer perking newfound interest in my story. 

“From who?” 

“His name is Eddie.” 

“Eddie what?” Officer Powell asks, writing in his notepad. 

“I’m not sure,” I respond, frowning. It never occurred to ask him his full name. The specifics didn’t matter. “He goes to this school and he was on his way home…” I don’t want to say Eddie was on his way from work because he is technically working illegally at a bar downtown and I don’t want to get him in trouble. “He saw me walking past Benny’s Burgers and offered to drive me home.” 

“She must be talking about Munson.” Officer Callahan said to Officer Powell. “Wayne’s nephew.” 

Officer Powell made a face. “Al’s kid?” He shakes his head. 

My eyes dart back and forth between the officers. I may have been born and raised in Hawkins but it didn’t mean I knew everyone in town. Mom and Dad moved to Hawkins from Virginia and we were one of the few families in our neighbourhood who didn’t have grandparents who grew up knowing each other. We didn’t come from generations and generations of Hawkins natives. We are the first in our family to uproot here. 

“You seem like a nice girl, Diana.” Officer Callahan says. “I would keep my distance from Eddie Munson.” 

I frown. “Why?” 

“With a father like Al Munson, take my word for it. He’s trouble.”  

My frown deepens and I clench my hands into tight fists. I don’t like how they’re talking about Eddie especially when the information provided doesn’t have anything to do with what matters. Barb’s disappearance. 

“I don’t think this is an appropriate conversation to be having with my daughter when her best friend is missing.” Mom reminded, her tone hard. 

“Eddie has been nothing but kind to me.” I counter, nostrils flaring. “He drove me all the way across town to make sure I got home safe. That’s more than anybody here has ever done for me.” 

“Do you have any more questions for my daughter about her whereabouts?” 

Officer Callahan sits back in his chair while Officer Powell cleared his throat. 

“What happened yesterday?” he asked. 

“Nancy and I went back to Steve’s house to look for Barb and on the way, we saw her car parked in the exact same spot we left it the night before.” 

“When you went back, what did you see?” 

“I don’t know how to explain it, but it was huge, like some sort of animal or something, but,” I pause, licking my bottom lip. “It didn’t have a face.” 

Judgement shoots across Officer Powell’s face. “An animal with no face.” 

“I know it sounds ridiculous but that’s what I saw.” I swallow down the lump forming in my throat and touch my gold pendant on my chest. “I think it took Barb.” 

“We checked the house and there were no signs of any animals.” 

“Did you check the woods?” 

“Check the woods for an animal?” Officer Callahan deadpans. I don’t respond, fixing my chin up. It wasn’t the brightest question to ask, but it was still valid in my opinion. 

“There was no car either.” Officer Powell adds. 

I sit up straight, eyes darting to his. “What? Where did it go?” 

“That’s what we’d like to know, Diana.” He responds, patiently. 

“Nancy and I saw Barb’s car yesterday. I swear to you.” 

“Here’s what we think. We figure that Barb came back last night and then took off somewhere. Has she ever talked to you about running away?” 

I shake my head. “No. Barb wouldn’t do that.” 

“Maybe she was upset, like you, about the fact that Nancy was spending time with Steve.” Officer Callahan surmises. 

I squint at him and his ridiculous deduction. Barb wasn’t like that. I wasn’t like that. Barb and I may have had our worries about Nancy’s relationship with Steve but it wasn’t because of her. It was because of him. 

“I wasn’t upset about that.” I protest. 

“Jealous, perhaps?” 

The subtle tilt of his head conveyed an air of disdainful curiousity as if he were assessing me from a lofty perch. The laugh that comes out my lips is uncharacteristic. The tinge of bitterness and condescension charges the air. I can feel my mom’s disapproving stare. My manners were unbecoming, I know. But for Officer Callahan to insinuate I am jealous of my best friend for spending time with a boy she likes is comical and proves he clearly wasn’t listening to anything I was saying. There was no motive for Barb to randomly disappear. There was nothing. The only thing that I know is that she is missing and something bad happened to her. 

“No one was jealous of Nancy,” I shoot back, trying to be mindful of my tone. “Not me. Not Barb. No one. I don’t care about Steve. I care about Barb and she’s missing.” 

The officers both watch me slightly taken aback by my firmness. Mom shifts in her seat waiting. Officer Powell closes his notepad, clicking his pen. 

“That’s all the questions we have for you Diana.” 

Thought I’d share this review of Gender/Fucking: The Pleasures and Politics of Living in a Gendered Body, posted to Goodreads by a user named Haley:

“Wow, wow, WOW— this is a book that invites you, the reader, not only to learn but also to EXPLORE— it’s a patchwork quilt of memoirs, erotic interludes, and critical analysis, and it’s gripping and devastating at every turn. Florence Ashley, a transfem jurist and bioethicist, is a brilliant writer with a penchant for luscious prose and biting commentary. This collection is equally brilliant, introducing the concept of “academic smut” as a vehicle for telling stories of love, loss, growth, and tragedy against a backdrop of trans identity and intellectualism. As a nonbinary person, I found myself represented in living color on every page; reading this collection left me tear-stained and devastated, and yet immeasurably hopeful at the same time. It’s a storytelling format I could never have predicted enjoying, as I’m rather open about not enjoying erotica as a written genre (with the exception of fanfiction!) due to my own discomfort with first-person-POV sex— however, the erotica here DOES something. It gives a tangible example of the theories and thought-processes that Florence describes in each chapter; it gives the reader an opportunity to imagine sexual dynamics playing out not only in front of them but with them in the driver’s seat, and again— as someone whose queer activities echo some of Florence’s own, it was deeply eye-opening to see myself and my desires on paper that exposes the pleasure, shame, and possibilities that we all partake in.

In particular, I'm drawn to one phrase that Florence concludes with in their "Trespass on the Fox" essay: these are questions without answers. am i open to being loved, to being lovable? maybe. Upon reading that, I had to sit and stare blankly at the wall for a time I can't begin to measure. Not only for the raw questioning of how I exist in regards to love, but for the openness in stating that these words, and all the words in Florence's collection, do not exist to serve as definitive answers of, well, pretty much anything! I've spent the past 18 years of my life entrenched in academia, and the idea that I don't have to always answer "yes" or "no" when asked about my "take" on something isn't necessarily foreign, but it's under-represented in nonfiction works, and it was a breath of fresh air to see it so frankly discussed here.

Though I am hesitant to describe any essay in detail, as I do truly think each entry deserves to be experienced firsthand, I want to conclude my review with an analysis of "Libidinal Vertigo," one of two essays that Florence warns about in their Preface for their potentially-triggering material. It's a deeply unsettling essay for two reasons: one, it discusses famed (or, rather, infamous) TERF (trans-exclusionary radical feminists) scholars like Mary Daly in detail, and their works are ones that have caused me a lot of personal strife as well; two, it explores Florence's (and that of all transfem folx) vulnerability to the very same transphobic rhetoric that most of us wish was contained solely in now-fading academic texts. We (and I use this word here confidently, despite existing not as a transfem person as AFAB and nonbinary) are all deeply susceptible to the internalized transphobia that runs rampant across our social media threads and bathroom-sink conversations. Florence, in protest of Janice Raymond's vitriol, invites us to embrace our monstrosity... echoing a brilliant passage of poetry discussing Frankenstein many pages prior. If they cast us as monsters, without giving us a chance to recite our lines, then perhaps we should acknowledge our hatred— and use it as fuel to empower healing amongst our own.

I cannot put into words how much I recommend this collection; it deserves to be immortalized in the canon of transgender studies, and it also deserves to be passed around amongst friends and highlighted and annotated to no end, the pages themselves becoming a living museum of memory and community. Whether you are trans, cis, or beginning your own journey of self-discovery, this book is a light amongst a sea of uncertainty and darkness, and I highly encourage you to pick up a copy of your own.

Note: I receive a gifted ARC from Clash Books; as always, I was under no obligation to leave a review, and all my thoughts/ramblings are my own <3”

2023 books read

updated reading goal: 150

1) nancy drew: the curse → micol ostow (audiobook, reread) / (jan 1) 2) all the dangerous things → stacy willingham (arc) / (jan 2) 3) lunar love → lauren kung jessen (arc) / (jan 3 - jan 4) 4) death by dumpling → vivien chien (audiobook) / (jan 6) 5) where echoes die → courtney gould (arc) / (jan 4 - jan 7) 6) the no-show → beth o’leary (audiobook) / (jan 6 - jan 8) 7) 6 times we almost kissed (and one time we did) → tess sharpe (arc) / (jan 8) 8) a fatal thing happened on the way to the forum: murder in ancient rome → emma southon (audiobook) / (jan 8 - jan 9) 9) this appearing house → ally malinenko (audiobook) / (jan 9) 10) spare → prince harry (audiobook) / (jan 10) 11) hell bent → leigh bardugo (audiobook) / (jan 10 - jan 12) 12) have i told you this already? → lauren graham / (jan 12 - jan 13) 13) partners in crime → alisha rai (audiobook) / (jan 13) 14) always the almost → edward underhill (arc) / (jan 14) 15) a room of one’s own → virgina woolf / (jan 5 - jan 14) 16) icebreaker → hannah grace (audiobook) / (jan 15) 17) the companion → e.e. ottoman / (jan 15 - jan 16) 18) feel your way through → kelsea ballerini / (jan 16) 19) comfort me with apples → catherynne m. valente (audiobook) / (jan 17) 20) a strange loop → michael r. jackson / (jan 21) 21) maybe in another life → taylor jenkins reid / (jan 23) 22) the fraud squad → kyla zhao / (jan 23 - jan 25) 23) the family game → catherine steadman (audiobook) / (jan 25 - jan 26) 24) the six deaths of the saint → alix e. harrow / (jan 28) 25) these fleeting shadows → kate alice marshall (audiobook) / (jan 28) 26) better than fiction → alexa martin (audiobook) / (jan 30 - jan 31) 27) this is not a personal statement → tracy badua / (jan 28 - feb 1) 28) nine liars → maureen johnson / (feb 2 - feb 4) 29) the nanny → lana ferguson (arc) / (feb 6) 30) finlay donovan is killing it → elle cosimano (audiobook) / (feb 7) 31) finlay donovan knocks ‘em dead → elle cosimano (audiobook) / (feb 8) 32) finaly donovan jumps the gun → elle cosimano (audiobook) / (feb 8) 33) someone had to do it → amber brown & danielle brown (audiobook) / (feb 12) 34) daisy jones & the six → taylor jenkins reid (reread, annotation) / (feb 8 - feb 12) 35) wuthering heights → emily brontë (audiobook, reread) / (feb 13 - feb 14) 36) practical magic → alice hoffman (audiobook) / (feb 16) 37) delicious monsters → liselle sambury (arc) / (feb 11 - feb 17) 38) the world cannot give → tara isabella burton (audiobook) / (feb 18 - feb 19) 39) this time it’s real → ann liang / (feb 14 - feb 19) 40) partners in crime → agatha christie (audiobook) / (feb 20) 41) the glass menagerie → tennessee williams (reread) / (feb 22) 42) missing clarissa → ripley jones (arc) / (feb 22 - feb 23) 43) the reunion → kayla olson (audiobook) / (feb 23) 44) twelfth night → william shakespeare (reread, annotation) / (jan 15 - feb 23) 45) the summer i turned pretty → jenny han (reread, audiobook) / (mar 1) 46) it’s not summer without you → jenny han (reread, audiobook) / (mar 1) 47) we’ll always have summer → jenny han (reread, audiobook) / (mar 1) 48) the late mrs. willoughby → claudia gray (arc) / (feb 23 - mar 2) 49) the appeal → janice hallett / (mar 2 - mar 3) 50) fatal throne: the wives of henry vii tell all → candice fleming, m.t. anderson, jennifer donnelly, stephanie hemphill, debrah hopkinson, linda sue park, lisa anna sandell (audiobook) / (mar 4) 51) a quiet life in the country → t.e. kinsey (audiobook) / (mar 6 - mar 7) 52) leave it to the march sisters → annie sereno (arc) / (mar 7 - mar 8) 53) wild is the witch → rachel griffin (audiobook) / (mar 9) 54) no exit → taylor adams / (mar 9 - mar 10) 55) julius caesar → william shakespeare (reread, audiobook) / (mar 15) 56) last violent call → chloe gong / (mar 10 - mar 15) 57) the witch and the vampire → francesca flores (arc) / (mar 15 - mar 16) 58) what lies in the woods → kate alice marshall (audiobook) / (mar 17) 59) the writing retreat → julia bartz (audiobook) / (mar 18 - mar 20) 60) spells for forgetting → adrienne young (audiobook) / (mar 23) 61) anne of green gables → l.m. montgomery (reread) / (mar 21 - mar 24) 62) an elderly lady is up to no good → helene tursten (audiobook, translated work) / (mar 27) 63) murder your employer: the mcmasters guide to homicide → rupert holmes (audiobook) / (mar 28 - mar 29) 64) fake dates and mooncakes → sher lee (arc) / (mar 29 - mar 30) 65) the sweetest connection → denise williams (audiobook) / (apr 1) 66) immortal longings → chloe gong (arc) / (mar 16 - apr 1) 67) lost in the never woods → aiden thomas / (apr 2 - apr 3) 68) that wasn’t in the script → sarah ainslee (arc) / (apr 3) 69) tell me what really happened → chelsea sedoti (arc) / (apr 3) 70) shakespeare in love → lee hall / (apr 4) 71) the golden spoon → jessa maxwell (audiobook) / (apr 6 - apr 7) 72) hamlet → william shakespeare (reread, annotation) / (mar 4 - apr 8) 73) anne of avonlea → l.m. montgomery (reread) / (apr 4 - apr 9) 74) anne of the island → l.m. montgomery (reread) (apr 9) 75) of human kindness: what shakespeare teaches us about empathy → paula marantz cohen (audiobook) / (apr 7 - apr 10) 76) ophelia → lisa m. klein (audiobook) / (apr 12 - apr 13) 77) anne of windy poplars → l.m. montgomery (reread) (apr 10 - apr 13) 78) women of will: following the feminine in shakespeare’s plays → tina packer (audiobook) / (apr 14 - apr 17) 79) juliet: the life and afterlives of shakespeare's first tragic heroine → sophie duncan (arc) / (apr 5 - apr 18) 80) your guide to not getting murdered in a quaint english village → maureen johnson, jay cooper / (apr 20) 81) when the reckoning comes → latanya mcqueen (audiobook) / (apr 21 - apr 22) 82) laertes: a hamlet retelling → carly stevens / (apr 23) 83) the broken girls → simone st. james / (apr 21 - apr 26) 84) the night swim → megan golden (audiobook) / (may 1 - may 2) 85) when you wish upon a lantern → gloria chao (audiobook) / (may 3 - may 4) 86) chloe and the kaishao boys → mae coyiuto / (may 2 - may 7) 87) ghosted: a northanger abbey novel → amanda quain (arc) / (may 2 - may 7) 88) happy place → emily henry / (may 7 - may 9) 89) the mad women’s ball → victoria mas / (may 9 - may 11) 90) the fiancée farce → alexandria bellefleur (audiobook) / (may 14 - may 15) 91) the strange case of the alchemist's daughter → theodora goss (audiobook) / (may 18 - may 19) 92) the weight of blood → tiffany d. jackson (audiobook) / (may 19 - may 20) 93) the twyford code → janice hallett / (may 18 - may 21) 94) never vacation with your ex → emily wibberley and austin siegemund-broka / (may 22) 95) the dos and donuts of love → adiba jaigirdar (arc) / (may 23 - may 24) 96) european travel for the monstrous gentlewoman → theodora goss (audiobook) / (may 22 - may 25) 97) one jump at a time: my story → nathan chen (audiobook) / (jun 1) 98) death of a bookseller → alice slater (audiobook) / (jun 1 - jun 2) 99) a treacherous tale → elizabeth penny (audiobook) / (jun 3 - jun 5) 100) chapter and curse → elizabeth penny (audiobook) / (jun 5) 101) julieta and the romeos → maria e. andreu (audiobook) / (jun 5 - jun 6) 102) a far wilder magic → allison saft (audiobook) / (jun 7 - jun 11) 103) meet me at the lake → carly fortune (audiobook) / (jun 11 - jun 12) 104) foul heart huntsman → chloe gong (arc) / (may 25 - jun 17) 105) rules for vanishing → kate alice marshall / (jun 1 - jun 19) 106) little thieves → margaret own (audiobook) / (jun 15 - jun 21) 107) the last word → taylor adams / (jun 19 - jun 21) 108) the three dahlias → katy watson / (jun 5 - jun 24) 109) painted devils → margaret own (audiobook) / (jun 25 - jun 29) 110) reign → katharine mcgee (arc) / (jun 25 - jul 1) 111) the chateau → jaclyn goldis / (jul 1 - jul 4) 112) a most agreeable murder → julia seals / (jul 2 - jul 4) 113) the shadow sister → lily meade / (july 4 - july 5) 114) if we were villains → m.l. rio (reread, audiobook) / (jul 6) 115) something is killing the children, vol 1 → james tynion iv / (jul 7) 116) something is killing the children, vol 2 → james tynion iv / (jul 7) 117) something is killing the children, vol 3 → james tynion iv / (jul 7) 118) you’re not supposed to die tonight → kalynn bayron / (jul 8) 119) something is killing the children, vol 4 → james tynion iv / (jul 9) 120) lock every door → riley sager (audiobook) / (jul 8 - jul 9) 121) something is killing the children, vol 5 → james tynion iv / (jul 10) 122) the sun down motel → simone st. james / (jul 9 - jul 11) 123) the only survivors → megan miranda (audiobook) / (jul 13) 124) at home with the horrors → sammy scott / (jul 16 - jul 21) 125) one of us is lying → karen m. mcmanus (reread, audiobook) / (jul 31) 126) bring me your midnight → rachel griffin (arc) / (jul 21 - jul 31) 127) one of us is next → karen m. mcmanus (reread, audiobook) / (jul 31 - aug 1) 128) the summer of broken rules → k.l. walther / (jul 30 - aug 1) 129) one of us is back → karen m. mcmanus / (aug 1 - aug 3) 130) what happens after midnight → k.l. walther / (aug 4 - aug 6) 131) the narrow → kate alice marshall / (aug 3 - aug 6) 132) night of the living queers: 13 tales of terror delight → edited by shelly page and alex brown (arc) / (aug 9 - aug 15) 133) the death i gave him → em x. liu (arc) / (aug 17 - aug 19) 134) heartstopper, vol 1 (reread) → alice oseman / (aug 19) 135) heartstopper, vol 2 (reread) → alice oseman / (aug 19) 136) heartstopper, vol 3 (reread) → alice oseman / (aug 19) 137) heartstopper, vol 4 (reread) → alice oseman / (aug 19) 138) the only one left → riley sager / (aug 19 - aug 21) 139) the getaway list → emma lord (arc) / (aug 21 - aug 22) 140) a good girl’s guide to murder → holly jackson (reread, audiobook) / (aug 23 - aug 24) 141) good girl, bad blood → holly jackson (reread, audiobook) / (aug 24 - aug 26) 142) as good as dead → holly jackson (reread, audiobook) / (aug 26 - aug 27) 143) five survive → holly jackson (reread, audiobook) / (aug 27) 144) one for my enemy → olivie blake / (aug 31 - sep 5) 145) business or pleasure → rachel lynn solomon / (sep 5) 146) maybe meant to be → k.l. walther (audiobook) / (sep 6 - sep 7) 147) yellowface → r.f. kuang (audiobook) / (sep 10 - sep 11) 148) going bicostal → dahlia adler (audiobook) / (sep 19) 149) teach the torches to burn: a romeo and juliet remix → caleb roehig / (sep 16 - sep 23) 150) none of this is true → lisa jewell / (sep 24) 151) the girls in the garden → lisa jewell (audiobook) / (sep 29 - sep 30) 152) a very lively murder → katy watson / (oct 3 - oct 4) 153) she is a haunting → trang thanh tran (audiobook) / (oct 4 - oct 5) 154) murder and mamon → mia p. manansala / (oct 5) 155) in these hallowed halls: a dark academia anthology → edited by marie o’regan & paul kane / (sep 14 - oct 7) 156) hallowe’en party  → agatha christie (audiobook) / (oct 8 - oct 9) 157) the second death of edie and violet bond → amanda glaze (audiobook) / (oct 9 - oct 11) 158) the fall of the house of usher → edgar allan poe / (oct 12) 159) home before dark → riley sager (audiobook) / (oct 13 - oct 14) 160) a haunting on the hill → elizabeth hand / (oct 7 - oct 16) 161) the lost coast → a.r. capetta (audiobook) / (oct 14 - oct 19) 162) murder in the family → cara hunter / (oct 18 - oct 21) 163) starling house → alix e. harrow (audiobook) / (oct 22 - oct 25) 164) the unmaking of june farrow → adrienne young (physical and audiobook) / (oct 23 - oct 28) 165) when ghosts call us home → katya de becerra / (oct 28 - oct 30) 166) a christmas carol → charles dickens (reread) / (nov 5) 167) the fall of whit rivera → crystal maldonado (audiobook) / (nov 9 - nov 10) 168) iris kelly doesn’t date → ashley herring blake (audiobook) / (nov 11 - nov 12) 169) fair rosaline → natasha solomon / (nov 8 - nov 14) 170) the dead romantics → ashley poston (audiobook) / (nov 20) 171) if we were villains → m.l. rio (reread, physical and audiobook) / (nov 8 - nov 22) 172) the ballad of songbirds and snakes → suzanne collins / (nov 23 - nov 25) 173) i hope this doesn’t find you → ann liang (arc) / (nov 27 - nov 28) 174) the hunger games → suzanne collins (reread, annotation) / (dec 1 - dec 2) 175) the christmas appeal → janice hallett (audiobook) / (dec 6) 176) enchanted to meet you → meg cabot (audiobook) / (dec 8 - dec 10) 177) catching fire → suzanne collins (reread, annotation) / (dec 3 - dec 17) 178) mockingjay → suzanne collins (reread, annotation) / (dec 18 - dec 23) 179) none shall sleep → ellie marney (audiobook) / (dec 15 - dec 23) 180) little women → louisa may alcott (reread, physical and audiobook) / (dec 25 - dec 28)

Language, I think, sounds like the place it comes from, it carries its own landscapes, thrives where the wind and the rain echo its rhythms.

—Janice Pariat, Everything the Light Touches

actually how about team phantom 👁️

"Why are we doing this?" Tucker hissed from where he was standing. "Sam has an entire movie theatre, popcorn machine included, in her basement! Even if she didn't her parents have like, all the money in the world. She can just pay for the tickets!"

"This is more fun," Sam said, voice equally quiet. "And you know I'm making a point to not use any of their money. They need to know that I can do just fine on my own."

"That doesn't mean we can't use it!" Tucker protested, gesturing from himself to where Danny was, ear pressed against the brick wall.

Danny shushed them both. "I'm trying to hear what theatre we're next to! I don't want to fly us into the wrong one!"

"You can go invisible!" Tucker said. "It doesn't matter if we go into the wrong one you can just fly us through a different wall until we find the right one!"

"Once again, this is more fun," Sam said.

Tucker groaned. "I could be a cool kid, you know that right? I don't have to be friends with you two?"

Sam snorted. "Yea, because you are so cool and charismatic and don't kiss your PDA asleep each night."

"Just because I know how to treat Janice right doesn't mean I'm not cool and charismatic! I could definitely fit in with the A-List if I wanted to. I'm just taking pity on you two."

"Well, take pity on my poor ears and be quiet for a minute so I can figure out what theatre this is!" Danny snapped.

"Hey!" A deep male voice echoed from the front of the alley, and all three teens turned their heads abruptly. The man was dressed in the uniform all of the movie theatre employees wore, and was carrying two garbage bags in each hand. "What are you kids doing down there?"

Tucker squeaked, freezing in place. Sam moved to run, but before she could getting going, Danny grabbed both of their wrists and pulled them out of view behind the dumpster on the wall. Tucker felt the cool tingling sensation of invisibility and intangibility wash over him, just before the man turned around the dumpster, garbage bags laying forgotten somewhere in the alleyway. He held his breath as the man's eyes swept over them.

"I swear I just saw..." he trailed off, glancing towards the other side of the alley. "Whatever, I'm not paid to chase after teenagers." His steps echoed back down the alley and the creaky metal door shut behind him.

The cool sensation faded away, revealing the three of them tucked next to the smelly pile of garbage.

"If you even think of telling me that that was more fun then just buying a ticket," Tucker said before any of them could talk. "I will bite you so hard, do not test me."

Here's some homework after finishing the sidestorys.

Now that you have seen most of the game, it's time to reflect on what happened before Flynns route.

1. The idea of moving in circles is introduced very early into the game. Explain what that metaphor means for the game overall and for the side characters.

2. Every character has a signature flaw. Explain what these flaws are for each character and how they can overcome them in their respective routes. (Tip: overcoming these flaws leads to the good ending)

3. Predict what Flynns biggest flaw is and how he might be able to overcome it.

4. There are still figures in this play where we don't know who they are or what they want. Explain who these are and how some of them could be connected.

now this is homework i'll do. LONG POST WOOT!

When it comes to circles, a few things come to mind. Firstly, there's the fact that Chase, TJ, and Jenna are literally circling back to Echo - returning. The things they'd experienced had followed them out and festered, only to trigger the curse as they return. Leo's "circle" is his possessiveness over Chase. And this is partly Chase's fault. Several times while Chase was at college he stoked Leo's love through dirty sexting, for completely selfish reasons. He was possessive before Chase left, he was so possessive that he accidentally created a tulpa, and he was absolutely possessive when Chase returned. Carl's "circle" is ancestral. Just like in the previous century, The Hendrickses are the top dogs of Echo, and the Begays are scorned and impoverished. Carl is completely ignorant of this. He bathes in the riches that injustice brought him, and it bites him in the ass through Jenna's judgment of him, through the possession, through the Clue Set (i still don't have a better term for the ghost-house in his route). TJ's "circle" is victimhood. 2015 TJ is absolutely not a victim - he's self-sufficient and doing very well. This is definitely the most obvious circle. The same thing that happened to him in childhood happened to him in young-adulthood - Chase killing somebody on his behalf. Jenna's "circle" is a lot less obvious to me, as is her signature flaw. There's a lot going on with Jenna! Her ancestral ties, her family, her personality. I think...the ways she coped with an abusive family in childhood: mean-spirited pranking, giving herself a very 'adult' role in any given situation, etc, all return as she comes back to Echo. I noted in her route that she sort of wants Chase to go back to being his "old self". She's just...kind of toxic. Very subtly so. Chase's "circle" is...god. A lot. The entire continuing Echo thread of narrative is wrapped around this stupid faggot otter. This answer has already gone on way too fucking long. As for the overarching story, "circles" are sort of the nature of a literal echo. The source creates the sound, the sound becomes warped somehow, and it returns to the source through their ears. There's also the circle of me going through a route then circling around and restarting. That's why I like the theory that Echo's curse is the presence of Real Life. The "echoes" that they experience are very often somehow tinged with technology. When Janice was telling her story in TJ's route, there was an experience back in the 40s - before audio recordings as we know them today - where the entity in question had a voice that sounded like it was coming from the radio. There's also the demons - the highway monster, for example - who Chase notes as having muzzle-less faces. If there's one species I know doesn't have a muzzle, it's a human being, who don't exist in Echo's world, only outside of it. And the monsters very rarely try to kill the cast. They almost...help the story along. The highway monster keeps the cast in Echo, because the story of Echo can't continue if they leave prematurely. The demon in Jenna's route seems...fairly helpful. It kills Brian, and would've killed Heather if she hadn't agreed to not flood the town. Anyway, all that is unrelated to the question. And notice how we only see outside of Echo when it pertains to the effect that Echo has on the characters. The short stories, I mean.

This one's easy, comparatively. Leo's signature flaw is his delusion. He's so delusional he psychosis'd himself a submissive&breedable chunter ghost. It's only after Chase outright rejects not just Leo, but Leo's behavior, that he's able to move on. Carl's signature flaw is his dependence. He's dependent on his parents, he's dependent on Flynn (and vice versa, kinda), and he thinks he needs Chase. At the end of Carl's route, it's pretty clear. He finally gets over the idea that he can't be an individual. The way to get to Carl's good ending is telling him to reject dependence on James. Jenna's signature flaw...is hard to describe. It's like I said before, she's just kinda toxic, but when I think to what really happened in her route, what comes to mind is her decision to go after Heather and stop her from flooding the town. I think...for a long time, Jenna refused all sentimentality. She disrespected Chase and Leo's relationship, she completely turned her back on her family (which wasn't wrong of her, but in Runaway she didn't even seem that broken up about it. Like, not particularly emotional. But she'd get emotional if prodded about it, like she was just holding it back), and even littler things like, her exploitation of Chase's fear of spiders. Which, his arachnophobia is absolutely kinda funny, but it comes from a really dark place that she doesn't really acknowledge. It's only when she became sentimental, enough to try and stop Heather, and save Echo, that the good ending happened. TJ's signature flaw is his soft backbone. He's too shy. There's something to be said about how much Chase was acting like Leo during TJ's route. Leo's good ending only happens when Chase outright says "the way you're acting isn't right, and I'm leaving you over it." TJ never says that to Chase. He runs away. TJ leaves people wondering about him. He lets them get the wrong idea. He can't just...say No. That's why he kept agreeing to manual labor with Janice, and why he couldn't make it clear to Chase that he's not interested. And obviously Chase shouldn't have kissed him, but it stemmed from Chase's misinterpretation of TJ's thoughts, which isn't really the otter's fault, just his mistake. Chase's signature flaw is the way he positions himself like a bystander, like he's just not culpable for any suffering, and yet is entirely the cause of all of it. Everyone's trauma (except Jenna, I think) is at least partly due to Chase. He's so incapable of taking responsibility that he FORGOT HE FUCKING KILLED SOMEONE! Just like TJ, he never made his feelings clear to Leo, choosing to ghost him then lead him on for 3 years, and he never owned up to how fucking mean he was before college. Even when he got caught watching porn, his instinct was to avoid his parents for as long as possible, rather than just...have a conversation. An uncomfortable conversation.

Fuck, I don't know. There's a lot I don't know about Flynn. For basically everyone else's routes, he's absent for the majority of the story. I think Flynn...holds on. He holds grudges and theories, which is why he flips the fuck out on TJ in particular, because he suspects that TJ killed Sydney. He holds his grief for Sydney down tight. He lets it isolate him from the others. He lets it turn him bitter and aggressive. His fixation on Sydney's death is why I'm scared to pair him with Sydney's killer. He's only going to let go of Sydney if he finds out the truth, I feel like. And by then, he'll have bonded with Sydney's killer to some degree.

Another toughie. The first thing I think of is the smoke monster from Carl's route. What first comes to mind is how elemental the smoke monster is. The curse has been in the land since before anybody inhabited it. It's determined not just to harm our cast (poor Raven!) but confuse even the ancestral spirits themselves. Because even when those people were alive they were contending with whatever came before them, whatever the Indigenous Meseta people were cooking in the Echo shitpot and such. I keep also coming back to that connection I made between the smoke monster, which is present alongside the ancestral spirits, and the fact that the characters' ancestors are present in The Smoke Room. I still feel like that's related. There's also the fucky demons, like Jenna's Closet Monster and the Highway Monster, but I've already mentioned what I think they are.