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the1975attheirverybest · 7 months

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The 1975: SATVB— A Review

Notes And Disclaimers: a couple of you have asked for my thoughts on the show. And, y’all know I don’t need to be asked twice, lmao. Consider this a conversation starter and feel free to agree, disagree, suggest alternative ideas, etc.

I’ll be returning to this and adding/evolving as the show grows and changes over time. Let’s geek out over this beautiful show and this beautiful band.

This review shall discuss opening night but will make references to additions/ alternations from subsequent nights when necessary.

———

Since SATVB has kicked off a couple of weeks ago, I’ve seen conversations about this show being a sequel to “At Their Very Best,” (2022). On the 1975 subreddit, a fan made a post about how SATVB is too much like ATVB. I think this issue is a good starting point for thinking about what SATVB is and how it works.

Instead of a sequel, I would like to offer a different word: palimpsest.

In other words, I think that SATVB is a self-conscious reimagining of ATVB, that is constantly thinking about its own former version, responding to itself, to the audience, and refining the points intended by the original show. You can still see a lot of the original show in this new version. But it’s also significantly different in, small, but important, ways.

The way that I propose we think about this is through an examination of the similarities and differences.

What’s new?

1. The first half: on opening night, Matty meta-theatrically references the older show by noting “during the first part of ATVB I wouldn’t address the audience at all, but this is a new show. So, I suppose I can.” The audience cheers before he has a change of heart - and starts singing a change of heart. This self-reference is by no means new to the world of the 1975, but it establishes the shows relationship to its predecessor. Matty calls our attention to the fact that SATVB is a mutation of last year’s show, even flirting with the potential of replicating or deviating from the expected path, only to shut it down.

2. The setlist: in typical 1975 fashion, the setlist starts off similar to what we came to expect from ATVB, but it quickly morphs from BFIAFL songs to other great hits. For example, Robbers is performed extremely early into the show. On opening night, it was performed 8th on the setlist. During ATVB, Robbers (along with Sex, Too Shy, etc) would be performed towards the end because there was a clean delineation between the two halves of the show. The first part was meant as a “performance” with a storyline and a message, whereas the second half was a “1975 greatest hits” where Matty would break the distance between himself and the audience, at one point even jumping into the crowd to do the robbers kiss. So, by including songs out of order, SATVB blurs the previously established line between the two halves and subverts audience expectations. Sending the message that this show is not going to be as structured as it’s original.

3. Consumption: on the face of it, it might seem like Matty is showing us a less destructive/ better version of himself. Replacing the dick-touching and raw-meat-eating with exercise (and we know beyond the symbolism of exercise as strength, that Matty’s workout and jiujitsu regimens have been a source of structure and a way of taking care of himself) BUT it’s ultimately still functioning within the concept of masculinity because he’s quite literally flexing his strength in front of thousands of people, taking his shirt off, presenting an image of himself that reflects the desirable male attributes of our culture. So, as a whole, this replacement of mastrubation with weight lifting ends up being an example of how he’s trying to change things/ get better, but is nonetheless ultimately always trapped within the masculine ideals that he knows are toxic.

4. The Rooftop: this, I think, is the second most darkest moment of the show. Next to Peanut (discussed below), “Bagsy Not In Net” is a devastating song. A spin on the romanticized Romeo-and-Juliet joint suicide concept of lovers in life and in death. The fact that it takes the place originally occupied by “I Like America” makes it even harder to stomach. He literally goes from “I’m scared of dying/ it’s fiiinnneee” to “do you wanna leave at the same time?” Not to mention that the song is one of his most vulnerable and fragile. “Dealing in death and being lonely,” “I’m reeling I know that I’m appalling.” Serves as a way of looking inward and finding the most difficult version of himself. As well as, perhaps, commentary on how he’s felt in the past 10-11 months since BFIAFL and since his reputation as “controversial” began to spin out of control. ILA felt like a….call to action? A statement of resistance meant to remind us all that it’s up to us to make shit happen. Bagsy feels like….a cry for help.

5. Peanut: this one is, perhaps, the most self-explanatory, so I suppose it doesn’t require me to linger around it for that long. Often artists can be accused of creating drama just to make art. When writers or artists of any kind are happy and content with their lives they feel least creative. See the Father John Misty song called “Songwriter” where he feels that he “undressed [his wife] repeatedly in public. To show how very noble and naked [he] can be.” Similarly, Matty’s been accused of self-destructing this past year and “not dealing with the issues underlying his addiction that drive him to ruin himself” or whatever. So, for this show, hd undressed himself instead. Bares himself naked both literally and metaphorically and exposes the most intimate parts of himself. The body double, peanut, shown out on the grass in a not-quite-fetus position is the most honest he’s been to date. The fetal position might symbolize vulnerability on some level but often people curl up into a ball when they’re trying to be “closed up” or “protect themselves” from the world. Animals sometimes do it to protect their vital organs as well. But peanut is not entirely closed off from our intrusive gaze; he’s not protecting anything. It’s all out for us to see. Including, yes, his flaccid dick and balls. So, the image connotes openness, exposure, having the most private and intimate parts of yourself projected out into the public. And….basic fundamental humanity. The body is not positioned to be viewed as sexy or desirable (though the show is nothing if not aware of the audience’s objectifying reaction). On one level it’s commentary on the work on a songwriter/musician. You make art out of the private parts of your life. On another level it’s commenting on his recent status as a celebrity famous enough to be papped, etc. or on the fact that underneath all that slander is a human being with feelings that we commodify and objectify. This point is further made clean when real matty, shirtless still from the earlier consumption scene where his body WAS positioned desirably for our gaze crawls over to peanut and comforts him (or in other iterations of the performance spoons him). The paradox of both versions of himself being side by side, of self-soothing, over having to literally be face to face with his own nakedness is the most introspective image that one could possible visualize. He’s looking inwards at himself and sharing allllll that he finds, all parts of himself, with all of us. The moment is made more uncomfortable of course by the crowds zooming phones getting his ass and his dick. So, in real time, we see the process of what it means to be an artist under the circumstances that he’s been in over the course of this year. The desire for connection and for reaching out to people immediately re-constructed as entertainment for the viewers. If that ain’t dark, I don’t know what is.

6. The SATVB-ification of Tiktok: literally. This is “The Man Who Married A Robot redux” over the last few months, Matty has addressed the discomfort of performing at festivals because he feels it’s impossible to be a rockstar out of context these days. And the struggle of knowing what to make of the “tiktok-ification of The 1975” since they went viral. So, his solution is to dish it back out. If tiktok is going to clip the show and spin it algorithmically then Matty is going to put tiktok in the show. Which, of course, he knows, will be filmed happening and posted to tiktok (three layers of meta-performance How’s that for post-modernity?). It’s espcially considering that he chose to use the subway surfers Reddit stories and stitched videos of slime etc. meaning the most heightened use of entertainment. We view these videos because we get two forms of media: the story being told and then the game/slime it’s being placed with. All the while Matty mono-tone rambles about our need for attention, human connection, how badly we have depended on the internet etc etc.

The show, as a result, is constantly in conversation with itself, with us, with culture. There’s a sense of immediacy to it because it’s responding to things that have happened recently/are still happening and is addressing us directly. Despite its very highly constructed nature, and all the tricks and paradoxes involved, the fact that it’s speaking to us and addressing what’s on all of our mind makes it so direct in its connection with the audience. So, in the end, Matty might be said to have succeeded at forming the connection that he seeks in his art.

#the 1975 #satvb

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polhclever · 2 years

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Super cat tales 2 gears

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Only thing I agree with everyone else criticizing the game is that yes, the dictionary is dumb and yes, it’s a little buggy at times.Welcome to Kizi! We've got you thousands upon thousands of amazing free online games to play now, from Stickman games to word games. I agree the ending could’ve been a little better considering the amount of work that was put into the storyline but the pictures were cute. The levels are all super entertaining and I love the graphics, characters, and music. Level 7-7 is hard but it’s not impossible lol. It doesn’t take as long to grind for coins in s.s gear and to be honest I liked that part because I couldn’t just beat the game in a couple days. Yeah it’s frustrating at times but that’s what makes it good, you can’t expect to play a game with so many levels and have them all be easy. Looking through all the bad reviews just has me convinced y’all are bad at the game. I was so happy that I was ready to beat the game in one day…until I found out I needed Brutus, which requires another 4000 coin item. Update:I finally got the dictionary item. P.S to new players, ever wonder why it’s 9+ and the first game is not? I won’t spoil too much, but someone does die in the game…kinda sad, even if it’s just a pixelated kitty cat… The only thing I’d say is not very well-made is the whole coin-grinding when you reach the final chapter, but there are many coin-grinders out there, so…nothing to worry about! I personally think this game deserves every penny it gets. Because these controls are simply purr-fect! And what’s all this talk about scams? This game has its flaws, yes, but it’s not THAT bad. This game, as you probably know, has great graphics, soundtracks, even the characters are paw-some! They even gave every character a personality! Also, to all of those people saying the controls are broken, either you haven’t played very many mobile games or you don’t have enough storage space. So, you all probably love this game, but not as much as me. Be prepared for fun, rage, tears, and lots of death. TLDR: It’s not all sunshine and rainbows in this cute kitty cat game. You don’t get punished in early stages but once you get to world 7. If you want to beat the game, you gotta work on your platforming during this game. Platforming in the later stages becomes unnecessarily difficult. You’d either have to be patient or play better, you’re stilling going to die a bunch though.ģ. Some deaths are permanent, some are due to monkeys, and some are due to impatience. Not going to lie, this game is going to be frustrating because sheer amount of death you’ll experience. YOU ARE GOING DIE over and over and over again. Personally I think this creator is worth the $10 but if you can’t pay then prepare for repeating 2-4.Ģ. You’d have to repeatedly replay a specific level more than 50 times to grind for coins to proceed in the game. Unless you're willing to spend $10, collecting the right amount of coins is going to feel like a chore. Though this game does have some caveats for any non gamers looking for a game similar to Mario or Kirby.ġ. The story actually has some dept for a side scrolling mobile game. A lot of love went into this game and you can tell.

#Super cat tales 2 gears

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thankskenpenders · 4 years

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screenrant /sonic-continuity-archie-idw-comics-games-sega/amp/ I would love to hear your thoughts on this write up over on Screen Rant about the comics.

(link to the article)

Boy this one made me frustrated, as this wall of text no doubt implies

So while I agree with some points this article makes about the Archieverse having a lot of elements to like, I also think it’s built on a wildly flawed premise. For one thing, they’re comparing a decades-long series that was able to build up its universe over the course of over 500 issues to a new series that just crossed the 30 issue mark. And in the article itself they argue that Archie’s shift to a more serialized story started around 40 issues in with Mecha Madness (which is wrong, but hey), but they... don’t make the connection there? The Archie comics get a pass in this article for taking 3-4 years to start giving a shit about continuity, while all the great narrative work that the IDW comics have done in their first two and a half years is glossed over

A lot of the article also feels like it’s just saying “the Archie comics had a lot of lore, which made them better.” This is an extremely common thing people will fall for when it comes to nerd media, confusing a large amount of lore and a big wiki and a world history that stretches back thousands of years for a good story. Having just finished reading all the Archie issues released before Ian’s run last year, most of those plot threads went nowhere with their original writers and were thematically shallow. You cannot tell me in good faith that the Ancient Walkers or the Order of Ixis or all those different super transformations or whatever really added all that much to the narrative. They just didn’t. Having all that lore is meaningless if it doesn’t prop up a strong central narrative, which the Archie comics struggled with for years

They touch on stuff like Bunnie’s arc as a half-Robian, and y’all know Bunnie is my fave. But it took them years and years to actually do anything with her. There is exactly one story in the first 50 issues of the comics that actually touches on her internal struggle regarding her robot parts. And I think that little backup story’s fantastic! It’s stories like that that make me love the Archieverse. But if the series had ended with Endgame like it was supposed to then that would’ve been it for her character arc. There were so many stories like this in the first 13 years of Archie comics, where more complex ideas would be teased and then the story would be dropped because there were too many characters, too many conflicting storylines, and too many cooks in the kitchen

And while Ian was eventually able to pick up all those disparate pieces from his predecessors and start telling really cool stories with them (as I have highly praised in my coverage of his first year at Archie), that complex continuity also made the Archie comics very hard for new readers to get into. It’s a double edged sword. It’s okay to like that lore-dense approach to storytelling (I mean, I do), but it’s not objectively better than the alternative

This writer also conveniently avoids saying much at all about the nearly 30 years of video game lore that the IDW comics are drawing from. All that doesn’t count for some reason. They claim that the canon of the IDW comics only starts with Eggman’s takeover in Forces. And they repeatedly say Sally is a faun? What??? And they keep referring to the Archieverse as the “official canon,” which... what do they mean by that?? This article is a mess

#anon #ask

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hockeyplayerstories · 4 years

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Quinn Hughes | Kid

It's been a couple years yet he still thought about this one girl he once dated. She was everything he wanted in a woman, her looks was just a bonus. She was absolutely breathtaking and he doesn’t know how she fell for him, he was just an average looking guy. Many asked him if she was just with him for his money but at the time, he wasn’t even playing for money so he immediately turned down that question. Having met the first day of classes at the University of Michigan, they were together for about a year until she just suddenly broke up with him and moved back home to Quebec. He didn’t understand why she did it until a week after she left when he finally found the letter she had left him in one of his notebooks when he got home. She had written that she didn’t deserve him and that his best friend, Madison, was more closer to him and that she showed more signs of being the one for him. He couldn’t believe what he was reading but he continued on until he got to a part that had him scrambling for his phone to call her. Phone in hand, he remembered the moment that apparently caused her to leave and didn’t remember using protection. He thought for a moment to himself that If he did get into contact with her, what would he say? She was going to have his baby but they were young, he didn’t know what to do. His family was staying in Toronto at that moment in time but knew they were coming back soon to the house in Michigan because he was given a week off from school to spend some time at home, he just had to wait for them.

At the time, he didn’t know what to do but did manage to get a hold of Y/N at the moment but all she told him to just live his life. She hung up after she said that, he let her because he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t tell anyone and it's been eating at him ever since. It's been maybe 3 or 4 years and he is just now deciding to tell someone and his mother was the first person he wanted to tell before he left for training camp.

Ellen Hughes had gone grocery shopping because she had three boys under her roof so Quinn had to wait until she got back. He was so anxious, he was shaking in his seat at the kitchen table, he went over what he wanted to say in his head about a thousands times all while he looked at the photo he saved from Instagram, a photo of his son he found on Y/N’s account. After 30 minutes of waiting, his mother finally got back home. “Can someone come help me with the groceries!” she called out into the house, all three of her sons coming to help. Another 30 minutes later, Quinn finally takes the chance to talk to his mother once everyone has left the kitchen “Mom, I need to tell you something very important”. He took a deep breathe after stating that. Ellen, looking him in the eye, motions towards the table while taking a seat herself.

Silence filled the room for a few minutes until Quinn took in a deep breath and cleared his throat “I don’t know how or where to begin…..” he paused, “Just start when you can, I can tell its eating you alive” his mother’s soft words comforted him along with the hand on his that is placed on the table. He decides to just blurt it out “I am a dad” he says with hesitation, but he has a smile on his face. Ellen is speechless, which was understandable; her oldest baby just told her he had his own baby “How?......when?......Quinn what?...”. He gave his mother a couple minutes to process what he said a little more before saying something. “I believe it was the same year I began playing for the Uni. I met a girl at one of the parties there. Her cousin was the host, their uncle owned the building and let them have a party. She looked so beautiful, I couldn’t contain myself, I had to get to know her. I quickly fell in love with her and we dated for a year, we did do some things…….I won’t say it but you know what I mean” Quinn sheepishly smiled to which his mother returned, not knowing what to say to that, Quinn continued “I recently found out from Instagram that they moved to somewhere in Vancouver, so I was thinking of asking to meet up with her to talk. What do you think I should do?”.

His mother had some questions that she needed to be answered before helping him “what did she tell you? How did you find out exactly?” Quinn took a couple seconds to think of an answer “she just told me it was best that we break up, she didn’t tell me she was pregnant, she just said we have to break up and then she moved back home. I found out through a letter that she had written to me and hid in my dorm, that I should live my life without the stress of being a young dad or a dad so soon”. Now that was a lot to think about, what does she say to her son with this situation? Ellen takes a good long look at Quinn, her oldest son, while he looks from the kitchen table to her eyes and back. She knows he is a good boy and wants to do what’s best, “how long ago was this again? Like years?” That's a good question that makes Quinn think hard “Maybe 3 or 4 years?” she nods her head in acknowledgement. One last question is left to ask and answer “Boy or girl?”. Quinn smiles “It's a boy named Gabriel”. Ellen gave him a questionable look at the name “she is from Quebec that’s why the sounds french so i'm guessing he was born in Quebec as well” he explained. Ok, now what? Ellen decided to say what she needed to be said “I think…...you should meet up with her, if she wants, and from what I understand you want to be in his life……” Quinn nods his head immediately “and hers too, I loved her from the moment I set my eyes on her and she has not left my mind since but we only dated for a year” Ellen smiled and recalled that moment “is that why you came home that summer sad?” Quinn nods his head “Well that answers it then. She sounds to be nice….I don’t see what’s wrong with wanting to meet up and talk” Quinn smiled and nodded his head.

It took a couple days to convince Y/N to meet up and talk, talk about their future as Quinn still loved her, seeming having expressed that fact multiple times but Y/N’s defensive walls only broke down when Quinn mentioned wanting to be in his son’s life and help raise him. Quinn completely understood, she was a single mother that changed her whole life for this little boy who was the most important thing and everything she did, every decision, was for him. She didn’t have to do everything on her own and that was one of the first things Quinn addressed when they met up in Vancouver, having come back a month earlier before training camp started so that he’d have more time to adjust to family life.

Quinn was the first to arrive at the place they agreed to meet, a Tim Hortons located just 20 minute drive away from the Rogers Arena. He picked and sat at a table that was close to the back for some privacy away from the other customers, he watched people come in and out from the entrance until this absolute angel walked through the doors. He couldn’t help but smile because she was as beautiful as the last time he saw her in person, he just had a couple of more minutes of taking in her beauty as she looked around looking for him with her bright hazel eyes that seemed to sparkle as the light hit them at the perfect angle. When their eyes finally met, it was a cliche moment where time seemed to have stopped and everyone around just disappeared and it was just them two. Of course that was quickly broken when Y/N started walking to where Quinn sat, he didn’t know what to do, does he stand up to hug her? Shake her hand? What? In Quinn fashion……...he just continued to watch as she took a seat in front of him, only breaking eye contact to concentrate to push the cup of hot chocolate he had ordered for her before he had sat down knowing it was her favorite thing to order at Timmies. She accepted it with a soft smile “you remembered” she softly praised, Quinn sheepishly smiled back “saw it in a couple of your posts on instagram too” he admitted with a shrug of his shoulders as she laughed.

They talked about everything that needed to be talked about, everything that needed to be said right then and there, Quinn was not mad at Y/N for doing what she did and saw the sigh of relief leave her shoulders when he said that. They had agreed to take things slow, see how things turn out but it didn’t feel like anything changed, they still felt comfortable in each other's presence.

Quinn is very thankful for what life has given him, a couple years has passed since then and everything has gone smoothly so far. A smile is permanently stuck on his face and it began the moment they agreed to try things again in that Tim Hortons. All these thoughts cross his mind once in awhile and he is completely okay with that but he gets brought back to reality by the sound of a goal horn going off and the sound of his wife Y/N cheering and clapping next to him along with the little two year old girl sat in her daddy’s lap clapping as well. They were currently at the local ice rink for Gabriel’s game, it was an early one but he is very lucky to have been given the day off to come watch his son play. He peers down at the ice to see his 9 year old son pointing at him in celebration of his goal he just scored as he huddles around his teammates, he seems to do that every time Quinn comes to watch him because it was rare for him to be able to catch a game. Quinn of course still gets a little emotional every time his son scores because he always seems to dedicate all the goals he’s scored to his parents, Y/N still cries a little too, which they still don’t understand why he does that but are still thankful to have such a happy kid to call theirs.

*****Hope y’all like this imagine............******

#quinn hughes imagine #vancouver canucks #nhl hockey #nhl #nhl imagines #hockey imagines #quinn hughes

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vidalinav · 4 years

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Cassian’s Love is Warm (3/4)

Summary: Nesta’s recovery in the Illyria and her developing relationship with Cassian... Or the chapter where Nesta communicates a little better and dives more into her magic.

Links: Nesta’s Love is Quiet Series Masterlist

This took so long and I don’t even really know if it was worth it but here you go. This is dedicated to those 15 followers who always ask when these chapters will be done and like all my posts about updating this fic. Y’all keep me young...and honest.

Thanks for reading! Long asf author’s note at the end.

Something in the air smells like spring.

Nesta can imagine Elain here, in this field where wildflowers bloom and cold wind tickles her hair. She can see it all so clearly as if the sun has melted more than the snow—has left more than mud.

Cassian stands behind her, waiting for her to take it all in. She can see the purple tents of the market, the bustling of people. All of them running around with the things to do and accomplish. The presence of life in such a remote piece of the world.

They walk towards that noise, the sweet song beckoning them forward.

It hits her all at once, then. The smell of cinnamon and cardamom, the array of autumnal spices lined in neat rows. Nesta inspects the red and yellow peppers hanging above the counters. Her eyes trailing over pots of hot broth and the bubbling swirls of chocolate and cream, trying to imagine the sweet taste of strawberries coated in crystalized red.

Cassian points to food she’s missed along the way and there’s something intimate about the way he leans towards her, his hair gently grazing her cheek. He points to his favorite dishes, the color vibrant against the worn brown of the stalls. Nesta wonders if he’s noticed she’s only half paying attention, caught more by his enthusiasm than the seven different kinds of fried food.

His face grows red when he’s excited, she notes. Like spring has a made a home in him, and he too comes alive. He talks with his hands, gestures wildly, at ease in this unfamiliar place. Nesta lets him guide her along, all too aware of the shy smiles he keeps trying to hide between glances.

When Cassian suddenly stops at a stall, Nesta has to catch herself from running into him. She always forgets he is larger than her—larger than life really, but Nesta never notices how tall he is compared to her. A mountain in her way, she thinks, if he had not also been the bridge.

Cassian points to an ornament hanging from one of the railings. A chandelier of blown glass that sways gently. “How about one of these?”

Nesta tries to imagine the house with its bare walls and tattered décor and place the chandelier in the midst of its chaos. She hopes that the picture will appear like paint on a canvas with its cerulean hues against grey. A hint of sky between parted curtains. Forget-me-not shades in forget-it-all concepts. But the image that appears in her mind is her sister’s skin smudged in the same blue Nesta looks at, a brush gripped firmly in her hands.

Nesta stares into the clear teardrops.

“Where would we put it?” She asks, trying not to meet his eyes. She notes the stalls across from them and the amount of people drifting from each. Tries to count them one by one in her effort to escape his gaze, questions already forming at the tip of her tongue. How long will they stay here perusing items that have no commonality? How long before the items become unwanted again? Things thrown haphazardly around each room with no purpose but to be pleasant, yet still can’t manage even that.

“Maybe, above the dining table…after we get a new dining table.” He remarks. “Maybe, the living room.” He nods slowly, tapping his finger on his cheek. “I can see it hanging there.”

Nesta can see it there. She hates to admit it, but she does.

Such a bright light in all that darkness.

She can imagine them under it, too, with more than enough pillows cushioning them on the couch, pushed to the floor. A thick rug she can feel through her toes, that she can feel on her back. Their shadows tangled by firelight. Her head resting on his shoulder. His fingers trailing along her arms and—

Nesta shakes her head. Her face growing warm.

“We can look at other things, if you don’t think—”

“No” Nesta says, breathless and her heart beating much too fast. “It’ll work; I think. With the rest of the house I mean.”

She scorns herself for sounding flustered, but Cassian simply smiles in confirmation. Mouth wide and endearing.

“We can make it work.” He promises, as he signals the shop owner.

Nesta watches as they talk, the muted gestures careful as he hands the chandelier to Cassian. Such craftsmanship in glass. Beauty in something so breakable. She could shatter it before they even made it back home—

Home is not a prison like she thought it was. It is not four walls and a roof, or food or no food at all. It is not poverty or silk sheets. It is not made of glass and it is not so breakable that she could crush it between her palms and bleed on white carpet.

Nesta’s not entirely sure what it is, but she knows what it’s not. Knows that it is not fragile, and it does not hang, and it is not painted with decorative leaves that fall in shades of blue.

It is not glass.

But maybe it’s wood, and the next stall, larger than the last, offers an array of furniture and a female that carves and carves never noticing Nesta as she gleans.

On and on she gathers. She walks to the next stall and then the next and the next, not even sure if Cassian is following or if he stayed behind collecting the light that will hang above them like a glittering star.

It’s odd, Nesta thinks as she turns in a sea of unknown faces. She’d spent so much time with her nose raised, she forgot what it was like to stare straight ahead, and… see the world for what it is. Color and wind and sun, and not just walls. A thousand different things she could see, feel, touch… A thousand different things she didn’t have to hate—that she didn’t have to love either but could choose to anyways. So many choices at the tip of her fingers.

As liberating as that thought is, there’s something sad about it still. The world tinted grey, even when the sky is blue.

Even in a crowd of people she is still not where she ought to be. She isn’t at the center, while the world spins around her. Nesta is not where the world ends or where it begins or where it continues. She’s not even sure if she could see her world if she could fly above it. She is not the part that if removed would eradicate all function, all fluidity.

People move around her, whether she stands in place or walks. They laugh with their friends, talk to their family, to shop owners, mumble to themselves. And as Nesta stands, glancing here and there, a thought enters her head. She is still merely at the edge. Hanging off of it? Maybe not. But she could see her feet dangle. See all the rocks below—

“Are you going to buy anything?” The sharp voice cuts through. Nesta manages a quick glance at the older fairy, unaware that she’d been standing by a shelf of framed mirrors.

“I’m sorry. I was—I’m waiting for someone.” She manages, wanting to kick herself for being flustered twice in one day. The female looks pointedly at Cassian who is still talking animatedly with the shop owner.

“Could be a while.” She says, and Nesta can’t help but agree. “Come in while you wait.”

The female moves, lifting the tent flap behind her, revealing a dim, dark space. A hidden place tucked into a corner of the market, larger than the others had been. A tent, Nesta thinks, rather than a stall. With wine-stained cloth enclosing all inside.

Nesta tries not to look to curious at the awaiting female, analyzing every tick of her patient gaze.

“What do you sell here?”

The ominous panels shift, and Nesta wonders if perhaps she asks too many questions. Never trusting the slightest possibility of endangerment, even when it’s disguised as shopping and pretty trinkets.

“A great deal of things.” The fae answers. “But nothing I can show you if you stay here outside.”

Her skin like weathered paper, crinkles as her eyebrows raise in waiting. “There are things you’d like I think.”

“How would you know what I like?”

Without so much as a blink, the fae steps inside, her chipper voice carrying behind the tent flaps. “I don’t expect you to be so different from anyone else.”

It’s those words that bury themselves in her, make a home in her, crawl into her skin, until they all but coat her like a new wool sweater.

For as long as Nesta can remember, she is always the one who’s different. The smart one, the clever one, the quiet, judgmental one, the mean one, the one with the most hostility. Never the one who played nice with the others, who had many friends that ran to her with secrets and gossip. She was not the one they trusted. Not the one they let in.

But not in this world—she’s one of the many in this world. Not one of the few. So, Nesta enters the little shop and wanders.

She walks from one shelf to the next, expects to see marvelous rubies and diamonds with a thousand different colors woven into its shine. Imagines inventions that move when she winds them or talking clocks that sing songs at the end of an hour. Disappointedly, all the shop owner keeps is picture frames.

Nesta stops to stare at a large one, dust covering the worn brass.

A picture of the market appears in its frame, and Nesta blinks at the sudden image. She can make out one of the shopkeepers, children laughing with balloons and candy in their hands. She can even see Cassian in the corner, talking with the fae next door, his hands waving. His head nodding.

“Is it—” Nesta shakes her head in disbelief, “Is it moving?”

The female comes to stand next to her, peering into the image. She smiles, too self-indulgent to be anything but praise and pride. With the glint in her eyes, Nesta almost expects to hear a long-forgotten secret make its way out of her lips. Perhaps where the treasure lies. Or where the golden eggs are hidden. She leans in unconsciously towards her and listens.

“Marvelous, isn’t it?”

She points to one on her left. “This one is Monteserre in winter… and this one depicts the stunning shades of blue in the Night Court stars.”

Nesta follows her down the row as she continues to describe the various pictures that wink and wave and shudder beyond her control.

“This one is my personal favorite, Spring in Dahlias, I call it.”

Nesta looks at the flowers that flutter as if wind has shifted them. She places her hand on the image, her fingers gliding along, expecting to feel soft petals. Nesta only feels the cold glass.

She doesn’t try to keep the awe out of her voice.

“How much are they?”

“They are not for sale.” At Nesta’s furrowed brows, the shop owner explains, a small, conspicuous smile creeping along the edges of her mouth. “I only sell the frames.”

Nesta watches as the shop owner maneuvers behind the first image. The market a bustling and lively place that one could dream of and be satisfied with. “Pictures are a kind of magic, I think… and just like hopes and dreams and memories, we see what we want to see. Feel what we want to feel. ”

The fairy trails her fingers along the brass, hunching over the top to get a better view. As if she had not made the view herself.

“In many ways I made these because I was trapped in places I didn’t want to live in and was myself not someone I wanted to be. They let me escape this world. Even for a moment.” The fairy gazes wistfully at the picture, turning towards Nesta. Her eyes a pale shade of green and self-assured promise. “And later when I didn’t want to escape anymore, they were memories. Little recollections of times I didn’t even consider the magnitude of or how much impact they would have on my life.”

The female steps around the image and Nesta feels the sudden urge to run, though she doesn’t know why. She is in no danger as far as she’s gleaned and even if she were Cassian is only a few stands away. But Her heart thumps regardless, one beat after another, faster and faster, as the shopkeeper continues.

“Hopes, dreams, memories. It’s all simple magic, really. Perhaps the only kind we all possess. Past the names we call ourselves, beyond the masks we wear. I think to master it is to master ourselves.” She takes a cloth out of her pocket and wipes the edges of the frame. “How else can we see things as they truly are?”

“Why do you keep these hidden?” Nesta asks, her voice soft and accusatory. She could hear the light laughter. Mocking her or believing her to be naïve, Nesta didn’t know.

“Because there’s some who’d rather not know what they look like when they don’t know they’re being watched… Others who don’t want to know what magic looks like when it’s not used for violence or war… No, these are for the special few. Those who think too much already. The ones who need to see.”

Nesta shakes her head.

“I don’t understand—” She starts, but Cassian appears through the tent flaps, a box placed carefully in his hands

“There you are. I’ve been looking for you.”

He sets the box down gently at his side, combing his hair with his fingers. A carefree, contented kind of way. “I couldn’t find you anywhere.”

Nesta can feel the urge to roll her eyes but she can’t deny that that something about him makes her feel assured. More calm. Less cautious. As if all the words ever spoken make sense somehow, even if she can’t decipher what they mean. Even if she can’t tell if they’re meant to be dangerous.

“I wasn’t so far away.” A huff in her words. “I was waiting for you, but you took too long.”

“Sorry” Cassian answers, a sheepish grin on his face. “The shop owner wanted to talk about the new policies of land ownership in Prythrian, and once he started, he wouldn’t stop.”

He notices the shopkeeper watching them, an intrigued, curious gleam in her eyes, and nods slightly in her direction, taking his time perusing the items leaning on each wall. A warrior’s assessments that Nesta would find odd in such a place if she had not done so herself.

“Did you find anything you like?” He asks, at last.

Nesta maneuvers to the corner, tracing her fingers along one of the frame’s edges.

She is not a painter like Feyre. She is not hopeful like Elain. She is not brave like Cassian. She is not useful, or pleasant, or trusting… but something in her heart says that she can have this one thing, if only she’d reach out and take it.

Perhaps, Nesta lies when she says she doesn’t want to be like them. Maybe, she’s been waiting for them and them for her and got lost somewhere along the way. Somewhere that was messy and monotonous and crass. Maybe she lets herself get carried away, swept up in the lively fire of anger and the grandeur of being unrelenting and unforgiving.

Perhaps it is also true that Nesta is not like them at all. Maybe she is merely trying on different shoes until she finds one that fits the best, until she can walk in those shoes comfortably, stand in front of every person who means anything to her and look each one of them in the eye.

What will she tell them after it’s all said and done? What will she see reflected back at her?

“I want to get these frames.”

Nesta holds them up for Cassian to see, the brass of one contrasting with the wood of another. She counts three in her palms, but she wants more. She’d take them all home if she could.

“We’ll take these.” Cassian directs his words to the female waiting, “As many as you have.”

He doesn’t ask what she’s going to do with them. Possibly trusts her enough to know about such things, or maybe he doesn’t care at all, Nesta thinks. Maybe Cassian knows she needs this, like he knew she needed all of those books, or the training, or the teasing arguments whenever she was too sad to get out of the house or out of her nightgown. Like all of those games he played with her or the food he set out to have her try. Maybe it was just in his heart to be like that. To be that caring.

Nesta barely notices as the female collects the frames, giving Cassian back his change.

His eyes light up when he’s content, she notes. Not quite green, not quite amber. A little bit eager as he looks at her. Nesta wants to know what it means to be looked at like that. If it’s as dangerous as she always imagines it would be...

Cassian takes the frames out of her hands, holding them for her as they make there way outside. But not before the shopkeeper grabs a hold of his arm and leans towards him.

She holds her hand next to her mouth as if she is telling some secret, and though the statement she says next is directed at Cassian, Nesta still grasps the words.

They float around like music notes, reach her ears, travel down her spine.

The words curl around her heart, burrow in the center of her chest, warming her all over.

Your mate is lovely.

~~~

The mountains have many different names, she learns, and its acres sprout multi-colored flowers. Enduring patches of delicate petals. She passes wisteria, rhododendron, azalea, feels their softness on the tip of fingers. It’s for this reason, Nesta asks to walk some more before they go home.

She spends her time balancing on the raised edge of the sidewalk, Cassian close beside her. Never too far away. Never so distant that she can’t make out his shape or smell his scent or feel the warmth he resonates in the early spring chill.

Her hands are clasped behind her, but she feels a little braver, a little more playful and child-like. Not nearly enough to hold her arms out like she wants to and fit the whole world in the length of them. But she does wobble slightly every now and then, just to see Cassian flinch.

“How did you find the market?” Nesta asks as they reach a clearing of muddy rocks and grass.

“I used to come here when I was young. Azriel, Rhys, and I.” He shakes his head fondly as he remembers. “We used to spend all day here, eating as much as we could and taking more home.”

Nesta waits for him to continue as he passes her, going to sit on the cold ground. His large body at odds with the tiny daisies that sprout in aimless places on the field. She stays behind watching, trying to capture the outline of his figure and every color that bleeds into his skin.

“Actually, I didn’t start coming here until Rhys’s mom took us. She used to sell dresses here and she’d take us with her sometimes. If we behaved, she said she’d get us each our own surprise. It always ended up being food, but sometimes it was new clothes, or toys, or weapons as we got older.”

Nesta can see his fists clump the grass as she gets closer to him, lured by his story and the image of three children running around the market square.

“I don’t know why I remember, but I know we used to steal food when no one was watching, even made a game out of it. Who could take the apple from the crabby goblin? Or how many strawberry tarts could we eat behind the dryads back? The one who always raised her nose at us and complained to Rhys’s mother to.”

Nesta laughs quietly. The sound bright as she pictures a smaller version of him, with rosy cheeks and a penchant for getting in trouble. She wonders if she ever looked that way, too. Innocent and hopeful. Playful and proud.

Nesta wants to say so much to him. Ask him questions about his favorite things, the memories that make his voice sound like he sprinkles sugar atop them. Such sweetness in the light of his smile.

“That sounds fun.” Nesta says, cringing at the perfunctory response.

“It was,” he agrees. “Until we got home and took turns throwing up everything we ate.”

Nesta can’t help the grin that appears, and Cassian knocks his shoulders with hers. His smile reaching his eyes as he looks at her, mirth in the crevices of his mouth.

“You have dimples.” He notes. Nesta touches her cheeks, covering them with her hands. “I didn’t expect you to have them.”

The words sink in before Nesta can decipher what they mean, and she spends the next minutes deciding on an answer, worried more about her response than the stillness that tangles around them. She can feel her teeth pull on her bottom lip, begging her not to say anything.

She never says anything.

“My mother didn’t like them.” Nesta admits, not daring to look at Cassian. “She said that I was born with such a perfect face, it was a pity that the only imperfection she could see was in my smile.”

She shakes her head, staring into the wide expanse of interlacing pinks and marigolds. When did she lose the right to laugh so freely, the freedom of being love drunk and a curious daydreamer? When did life decide she was no longer a child and the only thing she could carry were the memories piled so high and so heavy they were crippling?

“I never wanted to smile in front of her, after… I didn’t want her to look at me and only see what I lacked—how imperfect I really was to her.”

And, Nesta lacked almost everything to her mother. Always talking when she shouldn’t, saying things she could never take back. She was always too moody, too angry, too taciturn. Never what her mother wanted her to be.

Even now she reveals too much and Nesta wants to slap a hand over her mouth, rewind time, start at the beginning where her secrets are kept hidden. Safe in the anger she never hid well.

She can see the questions already forming, something Nesta hopes isn’t pity making a way in the honey tones of his irises.

“I guess I took her words too literally.” Nesta bites, the animosity burning bright red.

Cassian opens his mouth to say something, but Nesta doesn’t want to hear it. Doesn’t even want to know what he could possibly say to take the bitter taste out of her mouth.

“Why did you stop coming here?” She asks accusingly, amazed that she can switch her emotions, like blowing out a candle. One minute a flickering flame, another smoke rising to the mist.

His brows furrow as his eyes darken. Nesta is almost ashamed that she feels proud to have caused such a look. ”You said you used to come here. Why don’t you anymore?”

Cassian grimaces, his wings drifting higher. “No, I don’t come here often.”

His hands wring themselves around and around and Nesta wants to know what he is imagining between his fists. If he hopes to maim as much as she wishes to pummel.

“When she died, I never had the heart to come back. I didn’t want to see where she had walked, where she had laughed, the people she knew so well, and not see her in the midst of it all. There was a part in me, a part in all of us, that was already empty. I didn’t want to see how empty this place had become—what the world looked like without her. So, I just… stopped coming.”

Nesta pauses at his words, suddenly guilty that she is playing a game of whose life turned out worst. There is no winner in daddy issues or absent mothers. No crown for the unwanted, the unclaimed. And she will not find secrets in fingerprints or under the skin her nails dig into. There is only pain.

His and her own.

“Did she come here often?” Nesta asks, her voice steady and soft. His words blinking away the burning sting in her eyes.

“When she could get away—from raising us that is, or some task she had to do for Rhys’s father.” He scoffs. “Raising us mostly. That was all she good for apparently. Never mind that she was smart as all hell and could rival any male Illyrian, trained or no.”

“Do you think she would have been seamstress all her life if she had never mated?”

Nesta doesn’t know why she asks more questions, when she all but ruins the conversation. When they get back, she’s sure she’ll spend hours going over everything she says, marking every tally of moments gone awry. But she wants to salvage as much as she can, wants him to spill the words out so she can collect them like tiny seashells, like parts of a ship already wrecked and abandoned.

Cassian stays silent and Nesta wonders what has trapped him in his head. He stares at the mountains not meeting her gaze and takes his time answering her question. When he does, she can hear the strain of his voice, can see the veins in his hands bulge as he tightens his fists on the grass.

“Illyrians are not… good with females making their own money. They saw, it is as a bad example to the others. No one needed to get ideas, so they gave her more chores, more work. And that was before she had married, so I’m told.” He pulls on the daisies between them. The petals falling in clumps as he grits his teeth. “I can imagine what they would have done if she continued.”

She can feel the anger from Cassian, and feels it rise up inside her, as well. A pain Nesta supposes she shares with all of them, no matter what body she walks in. Like calls to like, she hears Feyre once say.

To be an Illyrian, fae, or human. To be a female, forever young and beautiful. To be a male, always the strongest and most self-assured. To be nothing, but petals and dust. To have it all. To have so little. It was never enough.

In that way, they are the same, she supposes. Both with their feet in the sand, the waves crashing on their ankles. Anger and sadness floating out in that bitter sea she so often drowns in.

Nesta never stops drowning, gives up trying to keep her head above water. She imagines her mouth opening, and a waterfall bursting out. A broken pipe siphoning from an ocean that would never dry. Something explodes out of Nesta. A silence she can no longer keep by holding her lips tightly together.

“My father used to make carvings out of the wood I had to cut,” Nesta holds her palms out as example.

She always expects to see the blisters, count them one by one, as some kind of reminder that she’s suffered. Sometimes, she wishes they’d appear, so she could rub her fingers across them and trace the memories. But they are long gone, and all she can see now are weaving lines and skin.

“I remember being mad at him, so very angry that he’d use the wood that was supposed to be for fires or…food—" She looks towards the bushes, so full and overflowing with berries. What would she have given to have just a taste then? To have these resources growing just outside her door. “He’d sell them, and I still could only thing that it was mine. He’d use my wood, my time, my pain, and it was my money—what I deserved for dealing with a father who could care less about his own daughters.

“I suppose that’s how Feyre felt.” Nesta feels her eyes sting as she stares straight ahead, “And I guess that’s why I understand.”

The anger, she thinks. The sour taste of regret.

Cassian stays oddly quiet as she speaks and Nesta can’t help but be grateful. She does not need to hear sweet coddles as if she needs sympathy, but equally so Nesta doesn’t know what she’d do if she heard criticism. He can’t possibly understand something he’s never lived through, and it makes a part of her furious to think he’d try. But it also makes a deep sadness fill the center of her chest.

Nesta—never to be understood or her sins forgotten.

He stares up at the mountains and she watches as he closes his eyes, his wings lifting slighting at the breeze. “The only thing I remember of my mother is her voice. I don’t remember what color her hair was, how tall she was, even what eye color she had. I can only assume they’re like my own…but that isn’t good enough. Not really.”

Nesta listens carefully to it all.

She’s never heard anything about Cassian’s biological mother and he’s never spoken a word about her, though she often notices how he looks at the others in the camp. The children, the couples, the families he is and will never be a part of. Even sometimes when he looks at her—like he is missing something that nothing in the world can fill.

“I like to imagine that she smelled like the woods, like fresh air… fires…warmth. That she carried me when I was tired and tucked me in when I was sleeping. I liked to imagine that she told me bedtimes stories. I hoped she told me bedtime stories, and I imagined waking up and believing every word that she said the night before. As if she painted my soul, my wants, and my wishes on the edge of my dreams.”

Cassian sighs, his shoulders sinking to the ground as Nesta resists the urge to lay a hand there. She is always trying to resist him, shake the feel of him off of her. A lump forms in the back of her throat, and she clenches her fists to stop the reaching.

“All this time, I could hear her call out my name as if she were screaming right in front of me,” He croaks. His eyes red as he stares, never quite looking at her. “This year, I could barely remember what she sounded like.”

“Why are you telling me this?” She asks, softly, her head resting on her bended knees.

Nesta watches as his grins. His face so obviously despairing that Nesta wants to ask him why he smiles when his heart is broken, why his expression looks so familiar to her. As if she were looking in a mirror as opposed to his war-torn face.

“Maybe all memories fade away, at one point or another. Whether we want them to or not.”

Nesta looks away, leaning back and blinking at the sky quickly turning to its dark cerulean hues. An ocean of darkness, she thinks.

She is always, always drowning.

“Do you miss your mother?” Nesta asks.

Cassian sighs, his hand running through his hair.

“As much as I can miss someone I’ve never known.”

“Do you miss your father?” He questions.

Does she?

Sometimes, it’s hard to tell. Grief looks so strange in Nesta’s eyes, she often wonders if she cares at all.

But she remembers the tombstone she can never visit, the goodbyes that get caught in her throat, the ships she doesn’t even want to look at in fear that she would cry and never stop.

Does she want to miss someone who hurt her so badly?

“More than I wish I did.” Nesta decides.

She looks him over once more before laying down on the grass. The feel of it pillow-soft and cool against her arms. The sky watching over both of them.

“We’re both orphans,” Nesta remarks.

Cassian chuckles, their shoulders touching as he follows suit. Nesta can feel the heat from his body all the way to her toes. “Penniless, parent-less lot, the two of us.”

She stares up at the wide expanse, the stars already peeking through the twilight. The space so substantial and vast it could swallow them whole.

“I suppose we have each other now.”

Amren tells her to think of magic as water. To bathe in it, to wash in it, to let it move around her. Nesta never tells her she’s afraid to take a bath, afraid of what the water might to do her. Even after she put one foot in and another until her whole body is submerged, she’s never wanted to touch that magic she felt just beneath her skin. Never wanted to know just how much it felt like hate.

But, Amren also tells her that if magic is water, her emotions are fire. The more she rages against it, the more she can’t control it. The more she hates the magic, the more it burdens her. Her anger breathes through her, and so the magic evaporates before Nesta can see exactly what it’s made of and what it calls to.

That’s what she tells herself when she stares at the picture frames and nothing appears. Nothing moves and she swears it’s because the magic inside of her does what it wants and doesn’t care at all about her. How could anything care about something that is so miserable and broken.

She scowls at the offending structures leaning lazily on the wall. The picture frames seeming to hum before her. The one Nesta holds in her hands, with its carved mahogany, glares at her to get on with it.

Nesta supposes it would be easier if she knew what images she wanted to appear. She can think of nothing, though she tries all morning, all last week, and all the way back to Windhaven when they make it back from the market.

Nesta sits back and sighs, her head bumping on the new couch they are still deciding on where to place.

The problem, it seems, is that Nesta can think of no good times worth remembering. She has seldom laughed with unutterable joy at the jokes her friends make. She has no friends. She can’t imagine the famous blooming roses of Rask or the briny beaches of Vallahan. She has never been anywhere. She doesn’t want to be reminded of Velaris, where she can still smell the putrid scent of puke and whiskey. An image would merely remind her of the headaches she gets with even a whiff of alcohol.

She moves on to people, but she is not inclined to dwell on any of them either. In fact, Nesta doesn’t want to think of them at all. And so Nesta sits there, resigning to the belief that she was born to be good at nothing…

Some part of her knows she’s scared.

The stiff spine, the wringing hands, the focused gaze. It isn’t an enemy that stands before her, but—Nesta inhales—there is too much that hasn’t been said.

She doesn’t want to know what her mind thinks of when she loosens the reigns. Amren has taught her so many times to keep those shields up, it seems counterintuitive to break them down now. But mostly, Nesta doesn’t want to know what magic looks like. She’s spent so much time denying it’s even there, that the idea of letting it move freely makes her feel wild—her spooked horse-like tendency to see all things as fearful even if they were smaller than her and she could stomp on them easily.

Nesta sets the frame down, the base screeching against the hardwood without leaving a scratch. Her fingers tapping along her thigh to some unnamed melody she can barely recall.

Her powers are always a mystery to her. Never to be understood, never to be forgotten. They are always there. She imagines its depth, the endlessness like drowning in a cauldron, the questions forming in the space between morphing bodies. Human to fae or… something or other.

Nesta tries to silence these questions, but she is simply too curious.

Will the magic shoot out of her hands, follow the sound of her voice, grant her wishes? Will it twist around her spine so that every time she uses it, she’ll feel a twinge in her back and a terrible need to bend and crumble? Will it spit fire out of her mouth like those roaring insults meant to bite and hide her away?

Is it hollow like a hole never filled? Does it echo like a rock in a well? Will it squirm? Eating her from the inside out.

Nesta does not want to know, she asserts, does not even want to imagine what the others have called powerful and strange.

But she can name one type of magic.

It was there that day. Between the two of them.

Nesta thinks about the idea of them several times. Even before she ever lives in this cabin. Long before she lets herself think about them together like that. The image always there, always waiting, and always agonizing.

She lets herself dwell on it now for the picture appears.

Maybe not a memory. Maybe not a dream.

In the space between mahogany lines, Nesta traces her fingers along the glass and brings it closer to her. The appearance finer than paint and perhaps more vibrant. She is almost afraid to look at it for long, fearing that it will change into something dark and horrid. But there they lay.

The two of them.

On that hill of vibrant green. The specks of white and yellow dusting their skin. A blanket of beautiful things she’d like to wrap them in, across both of their shoulders where dust and time had settled. This Cassian looks down, a soft grin on his face, pulling his arms around tighter, wrapped around this—this girl who looks a lot like her and nothing like her at all.

This girl grins. A wide and happy smile, her cheeks brimming and a lively red. Nesta watches as the girl in the picture with her hair and her eyes, leans her head on his shoulder. Both of them so close and so…loved.

Nesta hates this girl. Immediately chastises this young thing.

This girl who never sees terror or feels the deepest regrets. Who never knows starvation for touch and affection. Who never looks at the world with its hatred and despair and is just so hungry that she eats them like scraps of food left on the dinner table. This girl doesn’t know pain—

Nesta breathes deeply. Her fist only inches away from punching the glass into oblivion.

Or maybe she does… Perhaps this girl, this young, naïve, hopeful girl sees it all—feels it all, as she does, but smiles as Nesta always wishes she could, remaining free and unencumbered like no Nesta has ever been before. Perhaps this Nesta knows what it’s like to feel the raging disappointment and instead of soaking it up and bottling it for later, she tells stories instead, laughs instead, thrives instead.

Despite the pain. Regardless of the memories.

Nesta does not destroy the image. Whether its some dream manifested or some cosmic joke, the magic is there. Her power is in the center of it all and it is not cruel or angry or crass.

It’s water…and if it is, she’s made of it. There is no separation between who she is and what the magic makes her. There is no way to pull it out and leave the whole of her behind. As much as she wants to pretend it isn’t there, she can more dismiss that it exists than she can claim that air doesn’t take space in the atmosphere or that she doesn’t dream strange, improbable dreams.

Pretending doesn’t equate to truth.

So, Nesta leans the finished, moving frame on the living room wall and picks up another. The lavender paint reminding her strangely of dinner parties.

Nesta makes so many, fills all of the frames of different sizes and shapes and colors with moments she not only remembers, but of those she wishes to see—the pictures she needs to see.

Of Cassian with that group of friends she almost always resents. Of Amren and her, in that tiny apartment with puzzles strewn about. Of the camp and the raging, rising females who lay claim on her and treat her like one of them. Of the stories she swallows and the worlds that swallow her, that she can feel in the pit of her stomach.

Of her sisters. Because she loves them.

More than herself, most days.

She fills the walls with them all. The snow, and city lights, and night stars, and mountain tops filling the backgrounds, quietly saying hello, goodbye, stay a while. We promise you’ll like it here. We promise to be good to you.

Nesta straightens each one.

The one of her and Cassian though, she hides. Behind her bookshelf, where it won’t taunt her with its hopeful dreams, with its lies it tells so truthfully.

That one can wait.

When the night arrives, Nesta goes to the doorway and the moon scrutinizes her as she waits for the tell-tale sign of wings that signals Cassian’s return. It’s silvery sheen ordering her to do more this time, than watch from the living room window.

She is not the one trapped behind glass.

His feet hit the pavement as the crack of the open door reveals him. She is not a painter like Feyre, but she counts all the shades of indigo and wine that form the backdrop as he steps towards her. The stars as alive as each person who stares at her from those picture frames and blinks.

He looks at her cautiously, waiting for her response, but she takes his arm instead. Pulling him toward the day’s work.

She doesn’t ask him what he thinks, what he can read through gazes on his family’s faces, but she watches as he scans over the images, taking his time assessing each one.

She swallows when he looks back at her, and Nesta braces for the response. Will he deny her visions, her hopes and her wishes? Will he call her out for moving too fast? Will he knock all of them off the wall and yell?

Worst of all, will he say nothing? Her wants not even worth a response.

Cassian places his hand on her cheek. She feels his thumb trace her skin where it burns and if he moves any lower, he can probably hear her heart thumping wildly. And even if she’s scared beyond belief, Nesta still leans into his palm.

She closes her eyes, clenches her fists, and waits for that crippling fear.

Nesta feels the hot press of his mouth instead.

He pulls her to him, his arms moving to her waist as hers wrap around his neck.

His lips are soft, and she leans into him, tastes him, soaks him into her skin. Not at all sure what she should be thinking. Not thinking at all.

But Cassian pulls away far too soon, and when she opens her eyes again, his cheeks are brimming red. Nesta doesn’t say anything and neither does he, but she can feel him in the silence. Joy in deep breaths. Warmth she can feel to her toes.

She turns as he does, back to the images on the wall. Their shoulders almost touching as Nesta fiddles with her neckline and Cassian smiles neatly.

The two of them beaming.

The people of their pictures dreaming their own little dreams.

She will not be afraid of memories. She will not be afraid to hope.

Tags: @dreaming-of-bohemian-nights , @missing-merlin, @strangeenemy, @saltydreamcollector, @midnightbluhm, @my-fan-side, @queenofillea1, @tswaney17, @gloriousinlove, @ekaterinakostrova, @thebluemartini, @anishake, @lord-douglas-the-third, @mis-lil-red

AN:

I wanted this part to be a battle for Nesta. Happiness and Sadness are two sides of the same coin, and I wanted Nesta to constantly toss it and I wanted it to be a fight against what she hoped it would land on. I didn’t want to write her one day getting over it all, because I don’t really think that’s true. Healing, after all, is the ugliest part. So, this chapter ends a little hopeful but bittersweet and it will probably remain that way for the rest of it.

I split this chapter up, so we have one more part 4/4. And then the last segment which I may or may not ever get to called “Love is Bright Red, Hope is Dark Blue” which is more about the inner circle and their part in all of this. Since I think it’s easier for Nesta and Cassian to love each other in the dark so to speak and maybe not in front of their family. But, I haven’t written any of it, and to be frank, I only sometimes like writing this fic and I want to move past this. So, I will not make any promises.

But I hope everyone is doing well. It’s an odd time to be alive right now, and I really hope everyone is staying home and staying healthy. Oh btw, I’ve read Crescent City. It’s such a good book! I was amazed but not at all surprised. SJM always writes the books I want to read so there’s that.

Anyways, thank you for sticking with this fic, I know I take forever to update, but every comment, kudos, like, and reblog mean the world to me and tbh, the constant comments are the only reason I have even made it this far.

Of course, if you like this second to last end part, please feel free to do just that! I always love what you guys comment. I’m out! Finally

#nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #acotar #acofas #acomaf #acowar #my writing #vidalinav #nessian fanfiction

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anika-ann · 4 years

Text

Nothing but the Truth - Pt.4

The Interrogation

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader Word count: 2890

Summary: A fake dating AU. Time to seal the deal; you become Steve’s fiancé, officially. Kinda. You really have to talk about the rules of engagement; read PDA.

Warnings: the fluff gets real y’all, some swearing

Story Masterlist

Your life took quite a turn after such an insignificant event as knocking over your lunch on you.

Here you were, an engagement ring sitting on your finger, twisting as you fiddled with it nervously, seated next to Steve on a too comfortable sofa in a TV studio.

Everything was hazy, like a dream. You blamed the sharp lights of which you hoped were about to get dimmed at least a fraction, because otherwise you’d be blind before the interview was over.

As if the gaffer could read your thoughts, he dimmed the reflectors a bit, allowing you to see the interviewer’s face. Yay for you.

You were not in any sense ready for the questions, let alone coming from a TV host. You had been skilfully dodging your family’s inquires by telling them you’d explain later, you ignored your friend/colleague who was blowing your phone with texts and phone calls and you avoided everyone at work, mostly because for the past two days, you weren’t there to begin with; not in your office anyway.

Steve might be sitting by your side, his hand around your waist reassuring, but it did little to soothe your nerves. You truly were an awful liar and people from TV industry, reporters and such, there were like sharks; you did not feel like facing the sharks, thank you very much, they could smell lies as if they were blood.

Tony Stark had sworn that the host was an acquittance of his, good people, he had promised, and in collective effort, you had put together a list of acceptable questions for her to ask and a list of answers for you. Also, you had received one simple advice: stick to the truth as much as possible, because it is easier to keep track of. Also, Tony Stark had smirked when you confessed to being a terrible liar and had told you that you and Cap were apparently a match made in heaven and that it was just another good reason for you to try and lie only as little as possible.

Surprisingly, once the interview started, you felt yourself relax only enough to not to stutter too much when speaking, so it only appeared you were shy and nervous and not losing your mind. It had little to do with the friendly host who somehow managed to make the interview flow naturally despite using rehearsed questions and everything to do with Steve’s comforting presence, his thumb drawing calming circles on your hip.

You successfully got through the questions about how you met – via Sam, of course, stick to the truth as much as possible –, how you started dating, adding only tiny bits of information about you too, easily explaining that you wanted to keep your family and some of the privacy out of the spotlight.

It all naturally led to another burning question.

“So, it might be obvious, but I gotta ask… why all the secrecy?” she queried, still smiling invitingly and Steve shrugged in response as he clearly did find the answer evident.

“I like to keep my private life separated. This…” he looked at you with one corner of his lips raised and continued, “she doesn’t deserve thousands of people trying to stick their nose into her life – into our life. I just… I guess I wanted… uh, I wanted to spare us that for as long as possible.”

You confirmed his words with few delicate nods.

“Well, people know now. How do you feel about that?” the host turned to you.

“Mixed feelings, I think? I don’t enjoy being the centre of attention much. On the other hand, it’s a relief not having to hide.”

“Yeah, that about sums it up,” Steve agreed. “I mean, we didn’t plan it, I honestly wasn’t thinking about anything than cheering up my best girl after a bad morning that day, but this might be a truly good thing. Maybe now, her other suitors will finally lay off.”

Your heart skipped a beat and judging by the subtle squeeze of your hip, Steve noticed and was trying to tell you to stay calm – despite the fact that this was not planned at all.

What the hell was he doing?

“Other suitors?” the host questioned, intrigued, as she eyed your reaction; which was absolutely genuine, a 100% undiluted shock.

If you were lucky, the audience would think it was you being self-conscious, surprised at the idea of other people being interested, which… wasn’t that far from the truth, but seriously, Steve, what the hell?

Utterly confused, you attempted to cover your shock with only thing you could think of; with humour.

“Yeah. There are so many! I can see the line forming right there,” you joked lightly, making the effort to point somewhere behind the cameras and the host chuckled when she caught on the playfulness in your voice, knowing all too well what you were doing.

“You’d be surprised,” Steve stated lowly, making you pause and blink in confusion. He was just messing around, right? There were no other guys interested in you. Yes, you had been complimented before, yes, you had been in relationships before, but it wasn’t like guys fought over you or something.

Once more hiding your inner turmoil, you turned your head to him, eyes narrowed.

“Steve!” you scolded him, mocking offence. “Are you telling me you knew there were others and you didn’t introduce us?!”

The interviewer’s eyes flickered between the two of you, an expectant smirk forming on her lips. Well, glad you’re having fun, because I still have no idea what this is all about, apart from Steve proving a point which I’m not quite getting yet. Though you had to admit, it probably looked natural, a banter between friends turned to lovers and you suddenly realized that this was Steve making this whole one single interview you were willing to give, which was suspicious enough, much more believable.

And damn, was he smooth about it.

Steve’s smile was innocent, a glint of mischief in his irises as he shrugged. “What can I say? I just want you for myself.”

Feeling heat rising to your cheeks at the confidence he spoke with and at his palm squeezing your hip once more, shifting you subtly and yet visibly closer to his side, you smiled at him and leaned your forehead onto his shoulder. His lips landed in your hair so easily as if he had done it thousand times before.

“I guess you are forgiven then.”

“Well, it looks like you two have it figured out,” the interviewer, Laurel, because you were all on the first name basis to cut the tension, remarked. “And I suppose the strategy would work, Steve, the ring isn’t extravagant, but it is hard to miss.” She beckoned to it and looked at you expectantly. “What was it like? The proposal?”

Well, shit. You really wished Steve would get this one to answer, because you would have to lie through your teeth, but it was expected that you’d be the one to be asked about it since being proposed was a big moment in woman’s life. Or man’s, sure, but in your position… stop trying to distract yourself, big lie ahead! Focus!

“It was… a blur. I mean, we aren’t together for too long despite knowing each other for over a year now. But… I guess when you know, you know, right? It was just so sudden! This ring is beautiful, but we actually picked it after the question.”

You were meant to say exactly that – just in case someone who was too close to you noticed the absence of the ring before – and overall, you weren’t lying in the true sense of the word, only omitting the truth… it was just so damn complicated!

“Oh?”

“Eh, that one is on me,” Steve saved you and you truly tried your best not to show your relief when he took over. “I wasn’t prepared. She deserves the best, but… eh, I suppose that with all the secrecy I was bottling up emotions for too long and I couldn’t contain it anymore, I… I asked without finding the perfect ring.”

You weren’t sure how he accomplished that, but a blush actually crept its way up his neck as if he was embarrassed at his own impulsiveness. You found it unbearably cute and clearly, you weren’t the only one.

“Aww, that is so precious! Can’t imagine any woman to be oppose to that. Right? Truly romantic, succumbing to the spirit of the moment, the rush of emotions!” the host gushed and you grinned at the nice pass she offered.

“Don’t I know it. It was… unusual. But our relationship isn’t exactly typical.” No shit. “So it suits us, I think. And yeah… I…uhm… I couldn’t believe it was happening.”

Once again, 100% undiluted truth.

“I have no doubt. The important thing is the two of you being happy. And I think all of our viewers can tell you two look very happy together.”

Did you?

“Well, she is a wonderful woman and she said yes. How could I be not delighted?” Steve beamed, effectively causing your heart to flutter foolishly.

A part of you – a very sizeable part of you – was enjoying this little pretending immensely, alright, trying to push all the possible outcomes for the two of you after breaking the fake relationship aside and succeeding, but at times, you couldn’t but feel overwhelmed anyway.

Like when Steve said that and it warmed you from inside out, your brain screaming at you that had this been real, you would have melted into a puddle of lovesick jello.

‘She is a wonderful woman and she said yes. How could I not be delighted?’

Why did he have to sound so unbelievably genuine? He had told you he was a terrible liar. Liar!

You forced a shaky but hopefully sweet smile and stretched your neck to plant a soft kiss on his cheek. In for a penny…

“That is so sweet!” the host commented instantly, basically cooing. “And chaste!”

SHIT, you totally walked into that one! But Steve kissed your head before and had got away with it without a single remark! How was this fair?

You tried to swallow your panic, instantly explaining, while your heart raced, slightly panicking.

“Uh, we’re not much for showing affection publicly and with the secrecy-“ you babbled, while Steve started his own reasoning: “The time I grew up in-“

“Ah, that’s understandable,” the woman agreed and the sound of the heavy rock which had seated itself in your stomach hitting the floor must have been caught by the audio tech, you were sure. That was how loud it must have been. Crisis averted. “But… come on. Don’t play all coy on us…”

Spoke too soon.

You gulped, eyeing Steve, who was no doubt better at hiding his panic than you were. You could tell by the intensity of his gaze though that his nerves were as wrecked at the moment as yours.

What else could you do though but comply, being on a TV and being asked to kiss? How obvious would it be if you refused?

…in for a pound.

He searched your face, observing every tiny motion of your mimic muscles, every twitch. You lowered your gaze to his lips – and damn, didn’t you, in your heart where you pretended this whole situation on hand was not going to end up in a terrible heartbreak on your part, want to kiss those full lips, so tempting – and raised you gaze back to lock it with his. You hoped you looked determined enough, but you confirmed it in soft-spoken words, simultaneously checking if he was alright with this.

“It’s okay, Steve. We can handle a bit of PDA this once, can’t we? I mean… we’ve made it official, after all.”

A barely visible smile appeared on his lips, an inconspicuous nod sealing the deal.

Two of his fingers slipped under your chin, angling your face just a bit, brining you closer to the paradise. That was what it was; your eyes fluttered shut and the moment his lips brushed yours to test the waters, you knew you tasted heaven.

You felt the shudder running through your body, but you couldn’t help it, unable to conceal the excitement mixed with nerves. Your palm found haven on his toned chest, an anchor to the ship raging on the sea of emotion that pulled you in, just as his lips explored yours more thoroughly, as if searching a haven of their own, finding it exactly where yours were. They sank in, thirsty for home, caressing and oh, oh so soft and warm, safe and wonderful.

He was the one to withdraw for some oxygen, reminding you that breathing, in fact, was a thing. Quite an essential thing. On instinct, you breathed in swiftly, but couldn’t help but kiss him again, only a tender brush of lips on lips, relishing in the sensation for only a fraction of second longer.

You forced your eyes open and your hand to slide to his waist, trying so hard to remember that you were, in fact, not alone. At all.

“Well… wow,” the interviewer breathed out, her chuckle carrying a pinch of surprise in it. “That’s what I call pure love. Thank you so much for coming here, Captain and future Mrs. Rogers.”

You wanted to say thank you for having us, but your brain was buzzing with million thoughts, still processing the sensation of Steve’s lips on yours and was epically failing, colours bursting inside instead, sending pleasant heat through your veins.

Luckily, Steve composed himself much faster and boy, wasn’t it saying something about your dynamics with each other.

“Thank you for having us, Laurel.”

Yeah, thanks, Laurel. Thanks to you, I reached the point of no return.

In other words; now I’m officially screwed.

Sam overestimated his time-managing skills, still finishing the stretching after his training when the interview started. For once, he was grateful for Tony’s need for extravagance, as every one of the Tower gyms offered a TV for Sam to watch while he wrapped it up.

At few times, he wasn’t able to tell whether he was groaning at his sore muscles or at the way his little sister and his best friend were sickeningly sweet on each other.

Seriously. He wouldn’t have questioned it if it they truly had been in a relationship (read: if they pulled their heads out of their asses and finally admitted how they felt about each other, for real), but the fact it was all pretend (not, except neither of them was aware of the other not pretending and Jesus, Sam’s head hurt) was worrying him.

The kiss was a case of its own.

Would they be able to walk out of that mess and stay friends, possibly more? Or would it drive a wedge between them forever, messy feelings and misunderstandings getting in the way?

He resumed watching on his phone as he made his way to the kitchen to fetch himself a glass of juice, but stopped at the door when he heard voices coming from the room and instantly knew what was the subject of the discussion.

“Well. I say the interview was alright, not perfect, but alright, almost cute like the two of them together, after all… but the kiss did look like their first time,” Tony stated, sighing in disappointment.

“It was their first time, what did you expect? You didn’t really think they would be practicing beforehand, right?” Natasha snorted and Sam couldn’t but agree.

This was Steve they were talking about. The man had done a fair share of changes to his believes as he found himself in the new millennium, but certain principles he stuck to, which was something Sam was immensely grateful for.

He was about to join the discussion with his own input, when he froze in his tracks at Tony’s next words.

“Good point. But hey, she made them finally smack their mouths together. I call that a win. She was a good choice, we’re geniuses.”

“Yep,” came Natasha’s reply and Sam heard the distinct sound of a high-five, only to see their hands still up when he stormed into the room.

For the moment, he ignored the creepy fact that the screen was frozen at the image of their lips locked together and glared at the two Avengers, irritated and hungry for answers.

“What the hell do you mean you’re geniuses?”

“Blyad'!” Natasha cursed, frowning as she spotted the look on Sam’s face and how his hands were balled into fists with enough force to nearly snap his phone in half.

Tony eyed Natasha, not sure what exactly she said and not quite caring; the sentiment behind the word was apparently clear enough to him as it was to Sam.

The expression on Tony’s face spoke a thousand of words; or perhaps only three: We are screwed.

Sam wholeheartedly agreed as he paced to the pair, fuming.

“Start. Talking,” he hissed, each word clipped, as he was staring them down, ignorant to the fact these were a billionaire and a former KGB assassin he was ordering around. “Like right now.”

Part 5

Tags: @mermaidxatxheart @bobertswagert @kakakatey @ccolz88-blog @joeyrumlow @lovemeterwrites

If anyone wishes to be added to/removed from the tags, shoot me a message or something.

#marvel #mcu #fanfiction #steve rogers #captain america #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #captain america fanfiction #fake dating #fake dating au #reader insert #fluff #nothing but the truth #anika ann #avengers

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thethoughtsfromthreeam · 4 years

Text

California

Pairing: Agent Whiskey/Jack Daniels x OC

Warnings: None, Fluff

A/N: In a shocking turn of events (for me), I completed California last night, topping this bad boy out at 15 chapters. While I’ll likely keep tweaking it and making sure all my plot holes are closed, the storyline itself is done. I also set up for a possible one shot (or more, I dunno how much writing mojo I got left in me) for another pairing if y’all want it. So y’all be seeing me for a while yet.

Also, this is a pretty short part because its original version didn’t flow well, forcing me to split it with Part 6. Sorry!

Reminder: I haven’t seen Kingsman: The Golden Circle, so I’m just using the Wikia, IMDB.com, some gifs, and my own weird ass brain to make up this whole ass story.

Tag List: @zeldasayer , @romanticgumchewer, @tarrevizslas , @coolmaybelateruniverse , @the-feckless-wonder, @lavenderl3mons , @pascalisthepunkest [please message me to be added or subtracted]

[PART 1] [PART 2] [PART 3] [PART 4]

Part 5

Mission: Rescue

In the coming dusk, agents from HQ and the West Coast office stood a thousand feet from a squat, industrial looking building deep in the outskirts of Sacramento. The unassuming nature of the building wouldn’t even garner a second glance from any passersby, but for these Statesmen, it was the end of the line. Sirah had been gone almost a week and very soon she’d be back among her fellow agents. Or at least that’s what they believed. No one could bring themselves to think otherwise.

---***---

On the flight into California, Jack sat silently in the back of the plane in a brooding manner watching everyone else. He felt helpless in the moment as the Statesmen plane buzzed with activity as agents and support staff worked in the air and on the ground to coordinate possible leads on Sirah’s whereabouts. Ginger and Tequila spoke remotely with Kefir to review any possible changes between the files still in the cloud versus what he had printed out originally. Behind them Champ sat at a table with the three junior agents who were pressed into service.

The tables were covered with maps, paperwork, and the sound of pencils scribbling notes. Occasionally they argued quietly amongst themselves and Champ chimed in with a question or comment. Statesmen recruited brilliant minds and Champ couldn’t help but feel pride at the hard work these agents were doing at the last minute. Slowly as they worked, a bigger picture began to form.

After signing off with Kefir, Ginger continued to read the backend of the digital files, including the last report allegedly sent in by Sirah. Her and Tequila agreed it didn’t sound like her, even though everything else, including the transmission time, matched the pattern she set at the beginning of the case.

“T?”

“What is it, Ging?”

“We both know someone did this in her place, but I’m not finding anything wrong with the file signature. Nothing suspicious, everything follows like it should.” She turned at looked at him. “As a general guess, I’d say these were uploaded by a Statesmen.”

He looked at her with wide eyes and she nodded. While she didn’t come out and say that a fellow agent was behind this, the idea remained unspoken between the two of them. If Ginger was right, the game was going to change quick and Tequila wasn’t sure, given their current state of mind, if they were able to go head to head with one of their own. They continued to review the digital files when suddenly Ginger turned around.

“Saki, what did you say?” She asked him.

“It’s the maps. Sirah created a few to track activity in the area and everything looks like it points to Sacramento. Somewhere here in the southern part of the city. Obviously, we’re missing stuff that could confirm this as I assume not everything was uploaded.” The young agent waved her over and pointed at the map. Champ stood up and looked Ginger, who looked back. For months, Malbec and Sherry had insisted that the serial killer they were tracking was out of northern California but had little proof. West Coast believed them and sent in the request for help from HQ. Clearly, after bringing her in, Sirah and her fellow agents found something that was a break in the long running case.

Tequila shot up from his seat and Ginger joined him at the table as they looked at the maps. Sirah’s notes indicate that a center of activity could be either in the Valley Hi or Meadowview neighborhoods. It was a lot of area to cover and there was the possibility that all this information was wrong. Suddenly, a beeping noise sounded from Ginger’s computer.

“Her tracking device is back on!” Everyone came over as Ginger began pulling up coordinates. Smack in the middle of the suspected zone of operations was Sirah’s icon. They found her and now they were coming to get her. Tequila spoke to the junior agents on what was coming for them and Champ got on the phone with West Coast to coordinate plans.

---***---

Jack held back from the group as his heart stopped and started rapidly beating with hope. He silently willed the plane to go faster as he shoved his hand into the pocket of his jacket. He let his thumb rub over the stone bear nestled in the corner.

About a year after they first started working together on cases, Jack and Sirah had been sent on assignment to the Jackson Hole office. While they worked hard, there enough periods of down time that she felt it was being wasted staring at the office. For once, instead of him, it was her begging to go play.

Sirah insisted they bander about town and enjoyed themselves while they waited. One day in a tourist shop, she bent down over a small display of hand carved animals. Her long braid fell over her shoulder and her eyes sparkled behind her glasses. Jack’s breath caught his throat as he looked at her. Hand to god, he never flirted with her again, but all the same, he found himself more and more drawn to his friend. Someone he wanted to be more than a friend to.

“Jack look at them! They’re so cute!” She pointed to them as her face turned toward his.

“Yeah moonshine?” That became her nickname, one that she rolled her eyes at the first time she heard it. But now it made her smile and her eyes shine. It was hers and no one elses. He watched as she reached in and pulled two of them out. A small beaver and a small bear. He looked at her with a questioning face.

“It’s us.” She said simply but expanded her thoughts when he looked even more confused. “Ginger always says I’m busy as a beaver. And you’re the bear. Very cuddly looking, but very dangerous.”

He smiled and she smiled back. There was no tension, no worries, and no awkwardness in the moment. It was just two people so very comfortable with each other; the kind of comfort that comes with being in love with the right person. Not that they would have admitted it at the time, but it was there all the same.

She took them over to the cashier and paid for them. She slipped the beaver into her pants pocket and walked back over to Jack. Without a word, she slipped the bear into the pocket on the inside of his jacket before patting the cloth down. She looked up at him and smiled.

“Grrr.”

#agent whiskey #jack daniels #pedro pascal #kingsman: the golden circle #fanfic #agent whiskey x oc #agent whiskey x reader #pedro pascal x reader

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mermaidsirennikita · 4 years

Text

movie sex: valid or not valid?

Because I have nothing better to do and am the resident movie sexpert, I’m going to rate every single sex scene in this Buzzfeed List of Supposedly Hot Movie Sex Scenes based on its validity (which probably isn’t much).

1. Queen and Slim. Off to a shameful start in that well I have not seen this, however as Jodie Turner-Smith is involved I’m gonna preemptively say it’s valid.

2. Swimfan. I have not seen this either but the guy is ugly. I only tolerate so many people I don’t find attractive. Not valid.

3. Titanic, the scene where Jack lost his virginity. EXTREMELY VALID. The sex steam! “You’re trembling”! The way he had no idea what her plan was until she made him grab her tit!

4. Chloe, the scene with Julianne Moore and Amanda Seyfried having mommy issues sex. I would say valid, but in fact this movie is pretty problematic and plays into the psycho lesbian trope and is a remake of a movie that DOESN’T, so not valid.

5. Dirty Dancing. Valid, because she touches his butt and also because every time you watch this with someone who grew up in the 80s they’re GUARANTEED to be like “and this part this part THIS PART” when he carelessly tosses her shirt aside.

6. Brokeback Mountain, the tent scene. Loses points for the lack of lube, but I don’t think archive of our own existed back then so they wouldn’t have known their mistakes. Also, easily the hottest tent sex. Valid.

7. Unfaithful, the stairwell scene. FUCK YES HELL YEAH GOOD SHIT GET IT. Very valid cheating sex.

8. Indecent Proposal, Demi Moore has sex with her husband, not billionaire Robert Redford. Lol what a bait and switch, I watched this because it’s my dream to get paid a million to have sex with someone and I have to watch Woody Harrelson have sex? No thanks. Not valid.

9. Anna Karenina, when Anna and Vronsky like, dance-fuck? Fuck-dance? I don’t know. Vronsky’s hair is absolutely atrocious, and his mustache makes me feel like he shouldn’t be allowed around children, but this scene is very pretty. Also, if you’re asking God for forgiveness after sex you probably did it right. Valid.

10. Out of Sight, Clooney and JLo. One of those sex scenes that’s like, intercut with the convo leading up to the sex, which can be hit or miss but it’s very sultry and 90s here. Valid.

11. Vicky Cristina Barcelona, the threesome scene. First off, lol, WHAT SCENE, you don’t even see shit. Second, Woody Allen probably got his rocks off to this so instantly NOT VALID.

12. The Girl on the Train. On Buzzfeed, this is described as, “when Luke Evans goes down on his wife”, and I agree. VALID.

13. Monster’s Ball. ............... Halle Berry is very good in this movie. Is the movie a good movie? Is this a good sex scene? Also Billy Bob Thornton is there? The debates about storytelling and realism can go on and on, but in terms of what I’m judging things by, which is good sex scene-ness, not valid.

14. Black Swan. Natalie Portman fucks herself but it’s actually Mila Kunis. You know how things can get when one knows oneself. Very valid, as is the entire movie.

15. Body of Evidence. I haven’t seen this movie, but the person who submitted it to Buzzfeed describes it as “the oral and then penetrative sex”, so I don’t trust them first off. Second, Willem Dafoe and Madonna? I worry. Not valid.

16. Roadhouse. Another movie where every woman who was a teenager in the 80s brings it up like “Have you seen Roadhouse?” with That Gleam in their eye. Valid.

17. Conversations with Other Women. I’ve never seen this movie and the cap Buzzfeed chose is absolutely ghastly, truly devastating for Aaron Eckhart, who I do not trust because he is not cute. Not valid.

18. Mr. and Mrs. Smith, the kitchen fuckfight scene. Listen kids, marriages don’t always work out but you can always look back and watch the moment when Shiloh was conceived!!! We love witnessing the death of a marriage with brutal boning, QUITE valid.

19. Atonement, the library scene. Yes!!! A thousand times yes!!!! Knightley’s foot gradually lifting off the ground, the “I love yous”, the entire mood getting killed when her kid sister walks in? Perfection. Valid.

20. Rocketman, Elton John bones Richard Madden. So valid! It’s very sweet and loving even though you know Richard Madden is bad news, and also I totally get why Elton almost lost a career over him. Same, bro!

21. Y Tu Mama Tambien, the threesome. Y’all can fuck a Goldfinch, actually attractive men (Gael Garcia Bernal and Diego Luna) actually make out with their actual lips and consummate their erotic friendship while the dying woman they’ve been roadtripping with blows them simultaneously. Get your fucking shit together. VALID.

22. The Mountain Between Us. I.... I feel like a fraud here, but I did not like this scene. Idris is very hot, but he looks like he’s crying during? And I mean maybe that’s appropriate considering the fact that they almost died on a mountain, but that’s not my style. Not valid, but gently. Tearfully.

23. Her, that scene when Joaquin has phone sex with a robot. I think that says it all. Not valid.

24. The Piano, the scene where Harvey Keitel and Holly Hunter finally bone. Like, am I attracted to Harvey Keitel? No. Let us get this disclaimer out there. Is there some weird shit in this movie? Yes. But you can like.................. hear the vigor with which he’s going down on her in this scene......................................... ladies this was directed by a woman and you can TELL. Valid.

25. A History of Violence, the stair scene. This movie is very weird to me in so many ways, but like. That shit. That shit was..................... something. Valid.

26. Crimson Peak, Tom Hiddleston fucks his wife when he wants to be fucking his sister. I made this entire list because I saw the screencap of this scene for the article and laughed aloud. Oh. OH, Hiddlesstans. Y’all think this was sexy? His pale ass, the way he tried to snakedance his way up her body? Oh. Oh, my children. Watch some other scenes, I beg of you. Not valid, but a decent effort.

#idek what to tag this as #movies?#movies #films #me rating someone else's list lol

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new2fivesauce · 4 years

Text

Please Don't Regret Me - 4. Lavender Sheets

4091 words.

No Warnings... I think.

Sorry for the looooooong wait. I hope this makes up for it. I think the ending sucks but I needed to get this out my head fast before I put it off again. Enjoy.

June 2018.

Nelle's departure from being 5 Seconds of Summer’s assistant had been abrupt, leaving her feel like she had left her job incomplete thus causing her to spiral through a series of emotions and phases she believed she hadn’t felt since she was a raging, hormonal teenager.

The day she had given her news, they all awkwardly arrived at the airport at the same time. In her haze of emotions, she had not changed nor cancelled her flight to Australia and since 5sos was also flying international, they were stuck in the same terminal. Luke and Nelle did not speak again since their elevator meet. Michael noticed their tension, but didn’t say anything. His saddened green eyes only flickered between the two as they both tried their best to ignore one another. It wasn’t how she wanted to leave Luke, but she didn’t want to get his hopes up.

Calum, however, was the first to come up to her and apologize, practically beg her to forgive him for being such a selfish, shitty friend. Ashton and Michael followed suit with their apologies letting bygones be bygones. They agreed to keep in touch; everything returning to somewhat normal although the guys still looked bummed walking towards their flight with their new assistant.

She’d spent a couple weeks in Australia, staying in the house duplex she and Calum had bought together with their first good paychecks, but had hardly used due to constant traveling. She spent time with her parents, visited the guys' families, cleaned their empty homes to not waste money on a cleaning service, and took the duties of taking care of Duke from Mrs. Hood. Nelle also hung out with a few old schoolmates but quickly regretted that choice. They all seemed to “remember” how good friends they were, trying to manipulate Nelle for favors or money only because she knew “certain” people.

Mali-Koa, Calum’s sister, came to visit one week. She’d heard the news of Nelle’s leaving, and insisted that she come back with her to London.

“Girl, you needed a break from those dweebs anyways.”

So she did.

Nelle didn’t last very long in London though. Word had been passed of Nelle’s whereabouts which caused a very weepy, distraught Michael to leave a lengthy voicemail about betraying them for Cal's bitchy sister. She wasn’t really enjoying her time in London anyway, leaving Mali about 3 weeks later. She made a quick visit back to Australia before deciding that perhaps living in her vacant loft in Manhattan wouldn’t be such a bad idea. She’d let Calum know that Duke was coming with her before departing to the Big Apple.

She’d only been in NYC for two days when she’d run into a childhood friend that was not Calum.

Sasha Hendricks had been Nelle’s best friend when their parents were in the Army. They’d lived on the same bases and traveled the world together before Nelle’s parents settled in Australia and Sasha’s in Texas. Every year, before Nelle took on her job with 5sos, the girls alternated spending summers with one another in their country. They hadn’t seen much of each other in more than five years so no doubt it was a huge surprise when they both walked into the same small, cozy café.

Sasha had derailed from her parent’s Army footsteps to become a model. Not in the big leagues with faces like Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid, but she was aiming to get there.

With Sasha there, she didn’t feel so alone in the big city. It made her move a lot easier to handle but also there was just something about the city of New York and all of its noise that made Nelle feel at her calmest. She hadn’t been in the city for more than a two weeks now but if she had to be completely honest with herself, this was the best she’d felt in a long time.

<<*>><<*>>

Duke pushed ahead of Nelle, clearly already knowing his way around their block. He sniffed along a passerby's shoe, received a compliment from a passing child, and then decided he has enough the outdoors. He led the way back to the loft.

Nelle had just passed her building lobby’s front desk, when the security officer called her back. She looked down at Duke, where he was already looking up at her as in saying Oh shit, what did we do?

“Padilla, right?” the officer asked her from behind his desk. Nelle nodded slowly. “A package arrived for you while you were gone. Delivery guy didn’t want to leave it outside your door.” He said this as he retrieved a rather large box from the floor next to him. He heaved it over the desk and slid it over to her. She glared at the box hesitantly, not sure if she could carry it up to the 5th floor by herself.

“It’s not as heavy as it looks.” Security said, noticing her expression.

She thanked him for holding her package, grabbed the box awkwardly… he was right. It was not as heavy as it looked, then proceeded, with Duke at her feet, to the elevators.

Nelle barely made it inside her loft with the enormous box. Sure it didn’t weigh a ton, but five floors was a long time to be carrying a box.

Duke ran in, going straight to his water bowl near the kitchen. He didn’t care when Nelle set the cardboard box next to him. She went into one of her kitchen drawers, pulling out a knife to cut through the tape sealing the flaps down.

There were five thin, but square shaped boxes inside with a thousand packing peanuts. She made sure to carefully remove the small boxes without making a mess of the peanuts. She couldn’t risk Duke swallowing one up. The thought of telling Calum if such thing happened nauseated her.

Nelle was in the midst of opening the first thin box, when there was a knock on her door. Duke peeked around the kitchen corner to look at the door suspiciously. He growled a bit as Nelle went up the door.

“Duke… it’s just Sasha.” She clarified after peeping through the door hole and swinging the door open.

Sasha sauntered in, wearing a very see-through top and what looked like plastic pants. Her feet kicked off the six-inch heels with a sigh of relief. One heel slid close to Duke; he growled at it.

“Yeah, pipsqueak. It’s just me.” Sasha stuck her tongue out at the small dog. Nelle thought she imagined Duke rolling his eyes at the model.

Duke was kind to everyone… well almost everyone. Sasha had accidentally stepped on Duke's paw on their first meet. Ever since then, he tolerated her. He let her pet him but for the most part, he just stayed clear of the tall brunette.

Without another word, Sasha found her way to Nelle’s bedroom, emerging ten minutes later in a pair of Nelle’s Halloween pajama pants that were slightly too short since she was taller than Nelle and a Led Zeppelin t-shirt that fit too big.

Nelle hadn’t noticed Sasha wearing the shirt until she came up beside her about to open the first of five packages. Seeing her friend in the shirt made her freeze, her throat closed around a sudden lump that made it almost too hard to speak.

“Hey Sash… where’d you get that shirt from?” Nelle croaked. Sasha shrugged.

“Your suitcase. Why?” the girl looked down at the shirt and suddenly a zesty whiff of it caught her nose. Sasha hardly hung out the boys, only when she been to Australia during the summers, but she knew a guy smell when she smelt it and by the way Nelle’s face had gone temporarily pale, she slowly retreated back to the bedroom because she now realized this was not just some random shirt. Sasha knew all about Luke. She knew it was a bit of a touchy subject. She quickly changed into another shirt that was lying around.

Finally, when Sasha came back into the room, Nelle opened the awaiting first package. The flaps of the skinny box opened fully until they were flat against the kitchen counter surface. Staring up at her were four familiar faces in various shades of yellow, violet, and blue. The word YOUNGBLOOD was written across the middle in a graffiti red font. Nelle carefully lifted the plastic entrapped vinyl record from the cardboard.

Sasha, hovering over her friend’s shoulder, whistled lowly. “Damn, you didn't tell me Cal looked that good now!”

Nelle snickered and threw back a playful hit to Sasha's side. “I've tried to hook y’all up multiple times. You two just hate love so much.” Sasha scoffed as she pulled the new record from Nelle’s grip. She flipped it over to see the back and the track listing.

“Oh, I’ve heard Want You Back just the other day. Was Luke singing about you?” Sasha mused as she put the vinyl down and helped open the other boxes. There were two more of the same record, two CDs, and finally at the very bottom of the original box under the packing peanuts was the band’s clothing merch to go along with the new era.

Nelle ran her hand over the material of one of the shirts that showcased the boys' faces. Her fingers lingering over Luke’s face. “Nah. That song was written before I left.”

Sasha’s eyebrow quirked up, but she shrugged her shoulders. She held up one of the CD albums. “Should we listen?” Nelle nodded. “Good, because we were going to regardless.”

<<*>><<*>>

Nicole: Welcome back everyone. If you’re just tuning in, we have 5 Seconds of Summer in the studio right now! They’ve just released their new album and they were thoughtful enough to stop by today to talk about it. Guys, why don’t y’all say hello again.

Michael: Hey, I’m Michael.

Ashton: I’m Ash.

Calum: Calum, here.

Luke: And I’m Luke. We’re 5 Seconds of Summer.

Ryan: We have a few more questions from our callers. This one is from Mary: Youngblood is obviously the principal track seeing as it’s also the name of the album. Did you know that that was going to be the name of it or was it like a damn, we forgot to name the album, quick, just pick a song to name it after kind of thing?

Michael: HA! Yeah, that last option. Without a doubt.

Ashton: No, really! It was. We had other titles that we were referring the album to during the recording session, but we had to scrap a bunch of songs and basically start over. The album wasn’t fully completed and to our satisfaction until just last month. We had the promo pictures, the whole works, and then they were like ‘Is this going to be named Untitled?’ and Mike was like ‘What’s our next single? Just call it that.’

Nicole: Woow! I guess your fans really know you, huh? So I’ve been listening to it pretty much on repeat and some of these songs are really deep, heart wrenching, very mature. Very different from your previous albums. Can you explain the writing process and how this album was not like the others?

Luke: With Youngblood, they gave us a lot more creative permission, I guess is the right way to put it. Our other albums were done when we were teens so lyrically and musically, they didn’t give us as much freedom as they did with YB. We had to take a break after the release and touring of the second album because we were just so worn down; our physical and mental health were at an all-time low.

Ashton: It just sucked, really. We couldn’t focus or concentrate on what was going to be our new album when we just weren’t feeling like ourselves. Halfway into our break, Want You Back just came to me. When I played it through for the first time to the guys, everything else just came naturally from there. I guess that would be the rawness and deep, wrenching sound you hear so different from our previous work.

Ryan: One of our listeners is asking if any of the songs are about anyone in particular. Girlfriend maybe?

Calum: Umm… no? Ha, I don’t think so. At least none of the songs that I input in aren’t about anyone. I mean… sure, we take from our past experiences and put them into song, but for me, that’s a no.

Michael: Cal is anti-love, everyone. I think, like Cal said, we take from our past experiences; we’ve been up, down, and around the world for a long time. That does it make difficult to be in a relationship with someone and actually make it work. I’ve tried, Ash has tried, we all have. It’s just not in our cards right now.

Ashton: Unless you count our personal assistant…

Nicole: Whoa! Personal assistant? Who’s dating the personal assistant? … … Listeners, everyone is looking at Luke.

Ryan: Aww, he’s blushing.

Calum: He’s not dating our personal assistant. What Ashton means is… our EX-assistant, who had been with us since before the beginning, ya know, quit on us just before we released Youngblood the single. We’ve never been with any other assistant than her. So, it’s been challenging to say the least and Luke, who’s probably the most dependent person EVER, has been having a grueling time adjusting without her here.

Ashton: Yeah, yeah! Nelle was the best! She was like f*cking top-notch. I think like Rihanna, One Direction before their hiatus, uhh, I want to also say Fifth Harmony have tried to hire her when she was still with us. She’s like the fifth member of the band. She’s the fifth Second.

Michael: Dude, that was lame. But so damn true. Funny story, she used to come out in a lot of our paparazzi pictures and the fans would just ugh, be so nasty to her because they thought she was one of our girlfriends or whatever. We had to come out with a statement saying like yo, chill, she’s just our assistant, she means no harm, she’s just walking me to McDonalds… Then the fans were like OMG Nelle has the best style and she’s so beautiful blah blah blah. So, she’s a Yale student now with one of those influencer instas… so make sure to follow @seeyouneller…

<<>><>><<>><<>><<>><<>>

The hotel room was tense. No one dared to make a sound as Luke paced back and forth. His fury running off him, his hands were clenched at his sides, his mouth in a scowl, his light blue eyes were dark as the ocean floor.

Calum nervously looked at his blonde friend, worried that even just glancing at him might cause Luke to erupt. The longest five minutes passed before Luke stopped walking. He turned his body to the cowering three. He inhaled and then signed the heaviest sigh.

“I swear, you have the biggest fucking mouth!” Luke exclaimed towards Ashton.

Ashton shook his head, his red locks bouncing around his head. The newly dyed red hair matched Ashton’s hot head nature and with Luke going off on his, Ashton didn’t know how much longer he could hold it in.

“It was just a statement! I didn’t exactly say Oh Luke is dating our ex-assistant because it’s not fucking true. It was just a quip. You two left off on… whatever the fuck ya’ll left off on, so… It was nothing, Luke.”

Luke glared at the drummer. His breathing was hard, making it look like his whole body was shaking. His fists were clenched at his side, knuckles white to the bone.

“Yeah, dude. I mean, it could have been me who was dating her.” Michael chimed in. “Sorry we looked at you. I don’t know what to really say… It’s just one interview of like a hundred that we’re going to do. No one is going to get anything out of it.”

Calum, who had remained quiet this whole time, suddenly cleared his throat. His friends all turned to him, Luke’s eyebrow raising in a bold way.

“You know we are in New York though.” Calum started. “And we were on satellite radio… You guys remember Sasha… Nelle’s other best friend. Would spend the summer with her every other year? Had braces for like ever then the last summer she visited, she was super hot?”

“Yes, we know you have the hots for her.” Ashton said exasperatedly. “What about her?”

“Anyway, she texted me. She heard the interview. Nelle listen to it. No biggie.” Calum tried to smile, but failed tremendously. Michael darted his eyes to Luke.

“We didn’t say anything bad about her. She’s fine, right? Fuck… I should text her. We should ask her to get dinner with us. She’s back at the loft, right?” Ashton pulled his phone out his pocket as he spoke. He was already tapping rapidly on his phone before anyone could answer.

Luke furrowed his eyebrows, cocking his head to the side. “You’ve been talking to her?”

At this question, Ashton slowly lowered his phone to his lap. He gulped audibly. His words were stuck in his throat. He hadn’t meant to slip up. It had been decided that he with Michael and Calum were not going to tell Luke where Nelle was living at. He had already tried to follow her to Australia once and London.

It had been unpredicted what each member would go through at Nelle’s departure. Calum was sad for a few days; he wasn’t sure what to do with himself without his travel buddy, but quickly adjusted to the new assistant. Michael, too, was upset, but he was adapting well. Ashton wallowed for a bit, maybe more so than Calum and Michael, because like Luke, he still crushed way too hard on Nelle. He knew that there was nothing ever going to happen between the two; he’d realized that Nelle did have feelings for Luke, so he had to get over it, and she was always a text or phone call away, so the adjusting wasn’t too difficult. It was just she was not there anymore, physically.

However, Luke went through a tantrum phase. Anything the new assistant did was absolutely wrong. He blew up at the smallest things. If he asked for room temperature water, but got slightly cool water, he would throw a bitch fit. He distanced himself from the band for a bit. He only spoke with them when they had shows or interviews. He’d stayed locked up in his bus bunk, hotel room, wherever they were staying at. He’d text Nelle and she’d never reply. He had tried to go Home whenever he’d spoken with his mother and she told him that Nelle had just left her house. He tried to go to London when he’d overheard Michael leaving a rather upsetting voicemail about her disowning them for Mali-Koa. The sudden vastness of her being not there threw him for a loop. This crush, intense liking, feeling for her was messing with him severely. If she’d departed the band at any other time, he knew he wouldn’t be reacting this way. She just had to leave when his emotions for her had just blossomed.

Fuck.

Calum suddenly raised up from his spot on the couch. He was nervously spinning his phone in hand, checking the time after every third spin.

Suddenly he stopped, facing Luke. Calum’s head tilted slightly, confused at once.

“I just don’t fucking get it.” He mused. This time it was Luke to look bewildered. “Why? Why are suddenly so strung up on Nelle? You’re acting so clingy and it’s weird. You’ve never shown any interest in her. We go on hiatus, start touring again and all of sudden you’re acting like her boyfriend. Giggling, sleeping in her room, fighting to sit next to her, inside jokes…”

“Ya know… now that you’re saying it like that, it definitely seems like Luke is keeping something from us.” Michael chimed in. Ashton’s head perked up towards the front man. Could Luke been harboring a secret this long, months on end? Luke was never good with keeping quiet.

Luke’s eyes darted around his bandmates. His scowl dropping, being replaced with nervous lip chewing and nervous hand twisting.

He inhaled and exhaled heavily.

“We kissed.” He blurted out after what felt like minutes of awkward silence and three pairs of eyes awaiting eagerly.

Michael clutched his imaginary pearls, his very exaggerated gasps filling the room.

“What? When? Where? HoooOOOOoOW?” he howled. Calum shot him an annoyed glance.

Calum was neither shocked nor upset about the statement. He just wanted to know what happened between his two best friends. He just wanted his band to go back to normal.

“It was when we were on break.” Luke exclaimed. Ashton’s eyebrow raised. He recalled him spending time with Nelle, not anymore than usual, yet she never brought up the fact that she had kissed one of his best friends.

“Well that explains fucking everything.” Michael stated sarcastically. “C’mon, there’s gotta be more.”

Luke sighed, shaking his head.

“I was supposed to be doing my therapy sessions, but every time I'd get in the car, I’d have these intense anxiety attacks that kept me from driving. I told Cal and he suggested he drive me… I said okay and on the next time I went to his house so we could ride together. He wasn’t there but Nelle was.

“She was supposed to be on vacation just like us but I explained to her what had happened and she insisted. She took me to my session and we got lunch afterwards. It was weird. We didn’t say much, just made polite conversation.

“On my next session, same thing happened. Cal forgot, wasn’t home, Nelle took me. It became a routine. She took me to all my sessions even after I objected to wasting her time and I could easily get my mom or one of you to take me.

“The day that Ash came up with Want You Back…” Luke paused, his cerulean blues looking towards Calum wearily. “After the session, I was reading the texts from you, telling me to all meet at Cal's because Ashton called a band meeting so we got there but obviously no one was there yet. Nelle invited me into her house. I’d never been inside but that time we helped her and Cal move in…

“By this time we had kind of become friends but there was this tension and I know she felt it too. Next thing I know we're making out… like full-on making out, with her pulling me towards her room. We get in there and we collapse on her bed. I remember black everything and lavender sheets. It smelled like her pop rocks smelling lotion with a twinge of weed. We're kissing. Intensely.”

Luke stopped talking again. All the boys were staring at him, in awe of the story he had been struggling to keep internal. Calum noticed the way Luke reached up to place a hand on his chest; he clutched the material of his gray shirt, a far off in the distance glassy gaze on his handsome face.

“She heard Calum’s car on the driveway before I did. I’d been so absorbed in her, thinking how the fuck is this happening? Is this really fucking happening right now! She separated from me so fast that I felt literally cold and empty. Then she acted like nothing happened. She didn’t say anything about it. Just went on like… as if it just didn’t occur.

“But I couldn’t forget. I tried to talk to her about it and she just acted like she didn’t know what I was talking about so I did the same. Then we started touring again and working on the new album and it was a distraction. A good one… until I realized that I liked her. That’s why I was getting to know her, bothering her, hanging around her. She couldn’t tell me no knowing that it would look suspicious to you. I think she gave in to me eventually because I know she feels the same. She feels the same way I feel for her.

“And I'm sorry. I’m sorry to all three of you for keeping this secret. For being a fucking asshole. I just… I think it’s beyond the like stage. I think I’m like… at the L-word stage.”

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings #calum hood #michael clifford #ashton irwin #please dont regret me #luke hemming imagines #5 second of summer imagines #5sos imagine

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youhideastar · 4 years

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While I agree that you don't have to identify with the real world version just because you like the fic version of a person, we don't actually KNOW what actions he's taking or what he's doing outside of his public persona platform. Focusing on who is or isn't speaking up detracts from the ACTUAL issues at hand. 3/4

Hi! This was a four-part ask, and I’m not tumblr-savvy enough to reply to all four at once, but to summarize, anon noted in the other parts of the ask that they have PTSD and therefore doubt they’d be able to speak to a platform of hundreds or thousands about structural racism and police brutality. Anon then posits that Sidney Crosby similarly may not be speaking up about the murder of George Floyd because of CTE or PTSD, and makes the above statement. (Anon also asks me not to block them, which I would never do! Anon, your ask was thoughtful and polite and I don’t block people just for disagreeing with me <3)

My main point of disagreement is this: Sidney Crosby does not have to give a speech or take to the streets (although that would be awesome, and NBA players are doing just that). He doesn’t even have to personally write a heartfelt statement about structural racism. He just has to care enough to pay somebody to write a statement for him--his agent, the Penguins, the PR person at his foundation--and issue a press release. He doesn’t need to be involved in the process at all! I understand that anon might say that even that is too much to expect someone with, say, CTE to accomplish. I respectfully disagree.

I also disagree with the assertion that “focusing on who is or isn’t speaking up detracts from the actual issues at hand.” First, I think it’s important for white people to start conversations about racism with other white people (as I hope we all know by now, it’s not the job of people of color to start these conversations all the time!). If the jumping-off point for that conversation is Sidney Crosby, great! If it’s Target closing all its stores, also great! If it’s Jonathan Toews actually personally writing a thoughtful statement, that’s great, too! The important thing is that the conversation is happening. Also, I am capable of talking about qualified immunity on facebook while simultaneously having this conversation about Sidney Crosby on tumblr; the one does not detract from the other. Tumblr is where the Sidney Crosby people are, so this is where I say the Sidney Crosby stuff. If y’all are interested in my thoughts on QI, uh, I don’t know why! But send me an ask, I guess?

I’ll leave my rebuttal there because I think those were the most important points. Thanks!

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brekkiejeon · 4 years

Text

Pleased To Make Your Acquaintance, or Not

Author’s note: I had to repost it since there are some mistakes from the previous one. This is my first Jungkook AU to be posted here and I’m telling you, I’m not that good in English, but I still enjoyed writing this one so I hope y’all would like it because I did. ♡

✎ Masterlist

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst

Word count: 2.3k

Summary: y/n is in Seoul and little did she know that the man she met turned out to be someone more than just a stranger.

The Land of the Morning Calm, it was already under your feet. You can’t take your eyes away from the beautiful South Korea in front of you as you walk on an autumn afternoon on the streets of Seoul. The climate was as cold as it was to your taste, and the trench coats were in style. Seoul had its way of overwhelming you with the crowded people in the city and some picturesque urban sight. It was so beautiful that if only possible you would never leave this place. You stumbled on a cafe on a small yet busy street, resting after an intense walk that left your feet sore and now wanting to reward yourself after this horrid stroll you’ve just finished.

This didn’t make it hard for you to interact with the locals since you know a bit of Korean. “Kamsahamnida.” You ordered your food in peace. Some people had dinner in groups while you were alone and even in an uncomfortable table next to a good-looking guy who was also by himself. He did nothing but looked at his camera as his order came up. You sighed, averting your eyes to your phone.

“Excuse me.” You lifted your head to look for the waiter, but he wasn’t there. The voice didn’t come from far away, but it was the guy next to your table. The tap on your shoulder startled you as he reached out for your airpod which dropped on the ground.

“I think this is yours.”

“Thank you.”

“If it wasn’t for me, you would have lost that piece of airpod.”

“Thank you.”

His sophisticated accent was very appealing, and it was amazing. “You’re a new face around here.”

Yes, obviously.

“If you don’t mind, I could take you around the city.” He looks at you for affirmation, waiting patiently for your response. You thought about his proposal for a while though you still accepted it. “I-uh, sure, why not.”

“I know we just met but it’s good to have some company.” The guy grinned as if you felt like he was deceiving but that handsome face was irresistible that it was impossible to show negative behavior towards him. He looks like a nice guy as you supposed.

“Don’t worry, I’m harmless—and I love photography.” He shows you his camera. You probably liked the fact that this guy was so committed to be with you around Seoul, even after meeting him just a while earlier.

“I’m Jeon Jungkook.” He smiled sheepishly.

What a familiar name you knew and learned elsewhere, although you were unsure.

“Y/n. Mannaseo bangabseubnida.” You told him quietly.

“It was nice meeting you, too. I didn’t know you could speak Korean, that’s awesome.” His face lights up after you spoke his language.

Looking down at your hands, you answered, “I lived here when I was young so I know a few.”

“I prefer you to travel here more often.” He nodded to his understanding, savoring the freshly brewed tea that he ordered. You replied with an assuring nod and fiddled your fingers, finding a way out of this conversation he started and wanting to return to your comfort zone precisely—the quiet and calm zone that you most enjoy with yourself.

“Don’t be shy to talk to me, y/n. I’m a chatterbox.” He chuckled. That adorable smile was captivating. An awkward silence filled between the two of you and it is possible to hear only the soft voices of people talking as it was undeniably suffocating for this turned out to be a cafe filled with customers going in and out for the umpteenth time. Your order was finally here, but you called for a take-out so you could eat it while you’re hanging out with Jungkook.

“We should get going.” Jungkook gathers his stuff, rustling his pockets to get his wallet, and hands the cash to the waiter saying, “I’m also paying for her food.”

You looked at him in disbelief, shaking your head in rejection, “No, you don’t have to, Jungkook. I can pay.”

He insisted as he was paying for the meal. “It’s all right.”

You went outside after quite some time and started your small adventure with Jungkook. You walk past the streets watching the people on the benches, smiling back at them. The red-orange-yellow ombré leaves falling from the trees and the cheerful atmosphere seemed like you’re in a typical Korean drama where the guy saves you from an upsetting scene and you follow him right after because that’s just how it is.

“Shall we?” You only thought of having a nice walk in the city with him but surprised to see him holding his car keys, Jungkook offered you a ride to somewhere he planned. Your imagination is going through a collection of worst-case scenarios and in seconds you pondered. If this guy goes on a strange road, you can easily unlock the door, jump out, and run for your dear life.

Jungkook noticed your distressed self with his eyebrows furrowing as he opened the car door, “Oh, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing.” You’ve tried to restrain being apprehensive as such since you don’t want to disrupt the late afternoon ride with him though it’s impolite to refuse on something that someone is eager of, you convince him.

He approaches you and pats your shoulder, “Don’t be afraid of me, y/n. I’m not a bad person, see?” He flaunts his structured physique behind the trench coat he was wearing and went on to say, “I’m trustworthy. Nothing can ever go wrong with Jeon Jungkook.” You stifled a laugh from his cuteness. He immediately gained your trust by his amusing confidence and assumed that this guy was serious. Jungkook giggled and the way his lids closed and orbs quickly disappeared along this time, his eyes were also happy.

He was so excited to tell you what he knows about the city and often shares his personal life endlessly and wasn’t even afraid if it’s too much information. He was just thrilled that he met a new friend with whom he could relate well or would have a meaningful connection with. It’s as if he already knows you for a very long time.

“Did you know that this building right here…”

“I live in Busan with my friend Jimin who is 2 years older than me.”

“Someday I can show you around Busan.”

He doesn’t run out of stories to tell and it made you entertained the whole time until you reached your destination. You finally arrived at Myeongdong. The grand shopping malls fascinated you. There was a lot more to this place than you would ever have expected.

“I know girls love to shop, so I brought you here.”

Jungkook gets his camera and started taking pictures of you. Oblivious from his actions, he films you as you skip like a child.

“Y/n, look at me.” He looks inside the device while he puts it in a position in which you look most stunning. You were in cloud 9 at that time, hoping you’d just stay here and never go home.

“When a girl’s with you, I assume that she would feel the best.” You trailed off, grabbing him by his wrist and proceeded to the first shop in which you’ll spend your money on.

He murmured, “Then I suppose you are that girl.”

Unbeknownst to you, Jungkook was still filming you in your euphoric state of mind. He enjoyed every moment and was so pleased seeing you comfortable with him. You later went to nearly every shop on the streets of the city, and now his head was hanging low revealing an exhausted Kookie—just like a bunny’s ears would flop as it hangs low.

He sits on a nearby bench and recovers his sore feet while you looked at him whining about the stores you still haven’t gone to. You beckon him to stand up but instead, he raised his hands in defeat, “Let’s just rest for a while, y/n.”

Jungkook grabs his camera, judging the latest snaps he captured that day. Meanwhile, you sat beside him eating tteokbokki and his eyes softened after giving him a box of it. “Thank you for taking me here in Myeongdong.”

He showed you the pictures behind the beautiful city he’s taken. Myeongdong was something else for it was a wondrous city rather than a simple one. A city where you would go squandering and leaving the place broke if you are a woman. This day was a blast.

“You look like someone I know.” Jungkook’s eyes squint in suspicion and you were left puzzled from his statement. Both of you stared at each other which makes you raise your eyebrow in confusion.

“Who is it?”

Jungkook titled his head and chuckled as he goes on, “A girl I fell in love with.” He replied, averting his eyes on the road. Dusk was slowly approaching, and the nightlife here in Myeongdong became alive with so many people shopping in luxury.

“Lucky girl” You admired his way of talking about a woman. It was too much for you to handle that you felt devastated, implicitly accepting that you haven’t experienced this kind of love.

“Yes, she is indeed.” Jungkook agrees.

He stands up and fixed his hair, “We’re going back here tomorrow y/n. Thousands of people are coming at night.” He glanced at you, walking past the crowd while you followed him outside. The girl he misses so much marveled you about how he managed to wait that long. She must have struck Jungkook’s heart so well that it almost felt too mesmerizing every time he lovingly spoke about her and with that, it was never a dull moment.

“I just want to see her again, her beautiful eyes, her smile— everything about her is amazing.”

“I miss her terribly, and when she comes back, I’ll love her more.”

So, this is love.

You grinned from ear to ear and were on the verge of crying because of how proud you are for this man who had already found someone to love and someone he was so sure with.

“Tell me about her.”

He took a piece of his food and started, “I was 4 when we became good friends. We would always play in the park together and we also grew up in Busan together.”

Jungkook frowned and looks down with his eyes holding the miserable years he had waited for her. He sinks into silence while he tries to get the story going.

“She was the cutest girl I’ve ever known. But things started to change. She went to the United States at a very young age because of her dad’s work. Her dad got promoted so he also had to take his family with him.”

You listen to him, a little transfixed by what’s going to happen next. You anxiously bit a chunk of your cheek and before that, what felt like magical became intimidating as you processed the situation.

“I’d still ask my mom about her—about how she’s doing in the United States. Is she happy? Does she still remember me?“ This man has got a heart of gold. He wants to see her badly, perhaps hold her in his arms, kiss her, or even marry her. This was just too overwhelming. If you only had the chance to fly back home, you would drag that woman right here in front of Jungkook.

“But eomma could only say was ‘she will be back.’” Jungkook cheers himself up from his sorrow. As you observe his state, you felt terrible for him. Even so, he still waits all these years for the girl who was told to come back, the girl that his heart beats for and with whom he fell head over heels. You knew that Jungkook had been hoping in his life for nearly years, not knowing when she would return.

You inhaled deeply and asked him again, “When was the last time you saw her?”

Jungkook carefully thinks about the words he was about to tell and letting out a sigh of relief as he continued. He smiled to himself. “That doesn’t even matter anymore.”

Why?

“I’m happy that she’s back here in Seoul. If I’m being honest, she’s with me right now.”

You remained frozen, analyzing what the man said before you. That’s right. He was your friend and playmate from your childhood days. Jungkook was the little boy who always had your back here in South Korea during your early years. Those were the moments in which you still had the innocence of a child, a soft and carefree heart and spirit. But because of the unexpected journey back to your hometown in the United States, you’ve already forgotten them, including him. Few of your young Busan memories flashed in front of your eyes, considering that most of them are hard to remember—and you were indeed the one he was talking about in the first place. It was no wonder why you know him by name, by the familiar name from the first time he introduced himself, however, you had no perception behind it—And just like that, the girl he loves so much was the one he met at a local cafe hours ago.

Jungkook beamed, fresh tears formed in his eyes as he embraces you, holding you tightly and not wanting to let this moment go. Finally, the day has come where two worlds meet again. Now, the star found its way to the universe, to his galaxies where she was the one completing him as they both twinkle in the darkness. It was such a wonderful first day in South Korea that you both had returned to the place where it all began.

“Welcome back, y/n. I missed you.”

#bts #bangtan sonyeondan #bangtan #bts army #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts au fanfic #bts au #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jjk #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader #bts au fanfiction

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heartavenged · 5 years

Text

THINGS I LOVED ABOUT AVENGERS ENDGAME

SPOILERS.

Based on the amazing post by @saieras (21 things I loved about endgame), anything pushed by blockquotes (the little line on the left), and some of the titles, come directly from said post --DISCLAIMER -- and means I agree completely.

1. THE FIRST 20 MINUTES

Expectations? Chuck them out the window. They weren’t kidding when they said all promotional material came from the first 20 mins!!! I loved how they got right into the thick of things, cameras blazing, completely no nonsense. And CAROL omg. Also I did NOT expect Thanos’ death to be, Just Like That.

CAROL, again.

2. THE TIME JUMP

Very, very smart move. I liked everything about the time jump. It lets us view the event with a lens of a world shattered, a world that has had the chance to come to its senses and reel from the catastrophe.

3. TONY CONFRONTS STEVE

I have firmly been Team Iron Man since Civil War, and Tony is my favourite character (I am not okay), so suffice to say that I loved how, even weakened with malnourishment, he got in Steve’s face, and everything he said.

4. THE LANGS

Just. Every joke he made. Fantastic.But also I did not expect to shed my first tear at his and Cassie’s reunion. That was great.

5. DOMESTIC TONY

Tony and Morgan. Such a real, cute father-daughter relationship. ‘Mommy send me to rescue you’ and ‘Love you three thousand’ filled my heart with joy.

6. INTERN

Tony and Peter’s photo (...) AND THAT PHOTO WAS HIS. In HIS HOUSE. FRAMED. I REALLY wish we got more but that moment was very powerful. Still, I was unsatisfied. I wanted Tony to cry. I wanted Morgan to also know about Peter. Basically I want more canonical proof of Irondad Spiderson. Like, listen, this is the one loss that haunts Tony to this day. Peter’s death was the kind of pain that made Tony terrified of going again, for fear of losing Morgan

7. THE NYC SCENE

ALL of it. From Tony the security guard, to him talking shit about his own deodorant, to him giving himself a cardiac arrest to cause a diversion and being like this is fine, nothing to see here. And Hulk vs stairs. And STEEB. OMG STEEB. “Hail Hydra.“ “I’ve got visuals on Loki.” “I can do this all da–“ “Yeah. I know. I know.“

“Bucky… Is… ALIVE“

And butt jokes. So many Steve buttjokes. I don’t ship stony, but that is the closest y’all will get to a stony suggestive scene.

ALSO LOKI just yeeting himself outta there. That’s ma boi!

8. FRIGGA AND THOR

Nuff said. Mama Frigga is the best.

9. TONY AND HOWARD

It’s really great how adorable Tony was throughout this scene. And… while Howard was NOT redeemed, it’s nice to know he did love his son. And it’s great that Tony got some closure.

10. PEGGY AND STEVE

Out of the Big Three’s scenes with their “significant past people”, this one was the least impactful for me, as they didn’t even talk, BUT in retrospect it set the scene for later perfectly.

Also because I don’t much care for Steve.

11. GAMORA

This is GREAT and showcases her character very well, who she really is despite who Thanos raised her to be.

True, the minute she realizes Thanos’ plan is to wipe out half the universe, she is so clearly appalled (I don’t think she really knew what he planned for after he gathered all stones), and immediately starts to reconsider her position on the whole thing.

12. CLINT AND NATASHA

Their friendship was on full display during this film. Their scenes. And how it was all platonic. The entire audience knew, as soon as they landed on Vormir, that one of them wasn’t going to make it.

- I knew it would be Natasha , though, Clint and his family, and Natasha and her whole “I need redemption, I’m still trying to be a better person” -

Back to the Vormir scene: it was amazing, and heartbreaking, the lengths they were willing to go to make sure they were the sacrifice, like, how they were willing to injure if it meant the other were alive at the end. Clint and Natasha were never my favourites (except around Avengers), but I will forever applaud Scarlett Johansson and Jeremy Renner for their outstanding performance.

13. THE BIG THREE FIGHT THANOS

Thor’s lightning and Tony’s Iron Man tech combining to kick purple ass, all of three of them holding the titan back while the others tried to crawl out of the rubble. Still, the “big three fight” was mainly focused on Steve, in my opinion.

Like previously stated, I’m not a greeeat Steve fan, but even I have to admit that Mjölnir zapping to his hand at that precise moment was awesome. I cheered right along with everyone else. Which also justifies Thor grabbing it along from the past and possibly, maybe, most likely, leaving his past-self without it?

Anyways, cue tears at each shard of the shield.

14. THE ENTRANCE OF THE HEROES

If I was crying before, the moment that Sam hails Steve, and Shuri, Okoye and T’Challa walk through that first portal I was outright sobbing.

Words don’t do justice to the emotion I felt at seeing ALL my heroes assemble for the last time. At each new face I cried harder. They didn’t forget anyone and that made me so fucking happy.

I felt as if I could climb into the screen and fight alongside them, I felt powerful enough and fired up enough to do it too. And that’s the magic of that scene, thank you cast and crew. Thank you MARVEL for the incredible build up, I thought it was worth it.

15. PETER AND TONY

How Peter goes straight for Tony and cute rambling mode is already turned on, but Tony can’t even speak, and just falls into the hug in a parallel of their “hug” in Infinity War.

“Oh, this is nice!”

The moment is essencial since Peter, and not really any of the other tens of trillions* that vanished in the snap, is the reason Tony embarks in the time travel venture, even when it could’ve cost him so much. So it validates his choice, besides his being, you know, a true hero.

16. CAROL’S ENTRANCE

I missed her in this movie. I mean, I thought she would be in almost every shot, but maybe that was just because I think she’s fantastic. Her entrance, tho.

“What are they shooting at?” “Something just entered the atmosphere”

And then blast! Singlehandedly destroying the mothership (Thanos’ looks so fucking offended and we can see any conviction of victory waning from his expression), and kicking some ass. Way to establish dominance early on girl!

I mean, I played with the idea of Infinity-War-Thor being equal to Carol, (and maybe, maybe, he could’ve come a close) but now? She’s so clearly in another level... No words except: goddess.

17. PETER IN THE BATTLE + CAROL

Instant kill mode

So proud of him. The way he flips in, and is instantly like Woah this is a Big Fight!!

“Hey Peter Parker. Got something for me?”

CAROL. CArol listen. You are his mom now. That’s how it works with that damn kid. (...) It be like that sometimes.

I don’t think Carol would ever be around enough for anything close to parental relationship (plus, May is Peter’s mom), but that boy will worship the hero-shit out of Captain Marvel.

18. MARVEL’S HEROINES

If my crying had eased a bit from the general assemble moment, I fucking cracked again here. They are so tough, and powerful, and beautiful.

As a woman, it was so damn empowering and important to see all of them up there, together, each with their own background and their own strengths. I love how we had all kinds of women - warriors, mothers, princesses, generals, wives, captains, businesswomen, scientists, girlfriends, assasins, friends, witches - and all of them fighters.

I also can’t wait for the gifset and the final still - it’s gonna be my background for about everything.

Also RESCUE. OMG. PEPP. And the battlefield fighting side by side with Tony.

19. TONY’S SEND OFF

His death. I was glad Pepper was the last one there, to tell him it’s okay, they’ll be fine, he can let go.

AND PETER. Peter was there, trying to talk to him, sobbing and breaking down. This is what I wanted, going in, if Tony were to die. And this is what I got. You just know this is going to haunt him in FFH.

And Tony himself. His immense sacrifice, the moment he knew what he had to do, the moment Strange held up that finger. One way. UGH.

Of course I knew Natasha wouldn’d be the only one to die, but damn, I’m still feeling the hole his amazing fictional character left/ is going to leave in my life. Literally the only one (Peter was of course safe with Far From Home around the corner) I didn’t want to die. I loved him before my heart was inflated with Stark-family feels.

The lake house was so peaceful and I loved how it showed that after all his trouble, his PTSD, Tony had found a home and a family (even if somethings haunted him).

The picture, and how devastated Peter is can only mean that between Homecoming and Infinity War they grew closer, which had always been what I wanted. But I wanted to see it! Fanfiction will have to continued to lull my pain, I guess.

Speaking of fanfiction, Harley being at the funeral is all the proof my little fanheart needs to claim they’ve not only been in contact through the years, but had a mentor/parental relationship as well.

The question for me now is: how well do the boys know each other?

20. AND FINALLY, TONY. RDJ.

Thank you. Beyond all words, Thank you.

This has been one hell of a ride.

FOREVER IRON MAN

#avengers endgame #endgame spoilers #MCU

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makeste · 6 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 027: The Ol’ Run and Float

Previously on BnHA: Deku won the obstacle course and made All Might proud while pissing everyone else off. Midnight announced that the second event would be a cavalry battle. The kids were told to team up in groups of 2 to 4, and that each team’s captain would wear a headband with a point value based on how that team’s members placed in the obstacle course. Deku found out he was worth ten million fucking points.

Today on BnHA: Midnight explains the rules of the cavalry battle. U.A.’s first years set out to assemble their teams. Bakugou doesn’t fucking know who any of these people are. Iida wants in on this rivalry thing too. Deku gets off to a shaky start, but actually manages to assemble probably the best team out here, thanks in large part to its abundance of girl power, but also because my bird bro Tokoyami decides to get in on this as well.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 51 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

new volume cover!! lots of kids this time! twelve of ‘em!

we’ve even got that steampunk girl. SHE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE

this is the calmest that Bakugou’s face has been on a cover yet, I think. he’s even letting Kaminari lean all over him. he still doesn’t know how to smile, but at least he’s looking at the camera, unlike Todoroki up there in the corner

and we’ve got Ochako up there in the top left! KICK SOME ASS OCHAKO

Deku looks pretty happy and doesn’t appear to be fearing for his life, so we can confidently assume that this picture wasn’t taken during the sports fest! ahahaha

“the boy born with everything” hmm that sounds like Todoroki to me. could be Bakugou too I suppose, but right now I’m leaning more toward the kid who hasn’t had much development yet and whose mystery dad seems like he might be introduced shortly

I freaking love that... [checks the handy dandy character guide] Hagakure is on the inner cover cheerleading with these two

(ETA: I can’t believe such a cute fucking page was so ruined for me with context.)

okay I skipped past the characters cuz I already know who they are, and definitely skipped past that chapter index. here we go

seems pretty fucked up to me. do they have twists like this every year? if yes, then why do the kids who’ve watched it religiously since childhood (i.e. Deku) not anticipate that and maybe just shoot for top 5 rather than #1?

well Deku, you’re just going to have to continue to be just that damn good, I guess. you’re screwed otherwise

even Ochako omg

he’s still thinking to himself that it was just dumb luck that he came in first. by my reckoning it was actually ridiculously quick and adaptive thinking, more than a little cleverness, no small amount of physical strength and endurance, and a reckless disregard for his own safety bordering on the insane! but sure, call it luck

wonder where all of that GARRRRR energy has gone now. it’s like he was running at 300% for that entire event, and now all of a sudden he’s run out of batteries

okay here we go, some detailed rules

that’s going to be a lot of zeroes for Deku’s team

glad they designed the headbands to fasten with velcro so that these kids don’t go snapping each other’s necks

and apparently once someone grabs your headband, they’ve got to put it on and wear it themselves, so as long as time’s not up, you still have a chance to get it back

so then Deku won’t necessarily be the main target the entire time. ooh, this changes things. I like this game now

that little shithead Mineta might be a problem if his team utilizes his stupid grapes

and Tsuyu could potentially just use her tongue and be snatching up headbands left and right

apparently they’re allowed to use quirks, but not allowed to maliciously attack teams “with the intent of making them fall.” well what are the rules then. is that basically just a “don’t kill each other” rule and aside from that everything still goes? this opens the gates for some inconsistent refereeing. but I suppose these games are just an exhibition match to show off anyway, so as long as everyone gets to do that, it doesn’t matter as much who actually wins or loses

unless your name is Bakugou Katsuki and you went up on stage in front of a hundred thousand people and were all “it’s me I’m the winner”

or if you’re Todoroki “dad is watching and I just made Deku my rival fifteen minutes ago, so I don’t want to lose to him” Shouto

or Midoriya “dad is watching and I promised him I’d tell the world I AM HERE” Izuku

then you’re probably more invested in winning

so should be interesting

(ETA: actually, getting into the round of 16 really did make a difference in terms of who got drafted afterwards.)

time to start forming teams!

Deku already seems to know who he wants!

Tsuyu or Ochako, Deku. either is good. both are even better

Iida’s also fast! and loyal! (ETA: HAHAHAHA) but the second that fucker gets distracted, his weird hand gestures will get you dropped on the floor right quick

Bakugou and Todoroki would NEVER!! so let’s not even bother with that

Sero is another one like Tsuyu that would probably be really good at snatching bands

anyways, enough with the hypotheticals, let’s scroll down and see who this thoughtful young man actually decides on

heyyy. booooooo we’re cutting to the security staff

they don’t seem to be doing a very good job

wow. these guys are kind of the worst

“drag others down.” what a cynical fucking take

now they’re talking about how the cavalry battle teaches cooperation. well no shit, just like literally any team exercise ever

these are the most demotivational superheroes I’ve ever seen. the complete fucking opposite of All Might. no wonder he was so desperate to find someone with the right attitude to be his successor

WOW CHECK OUT MISTER POPULAR OVER HERE

OH NOW Y’ALL LIKE HIM, HUH. I WAS HERE FIRST

he seems to have someone else in mind maybe?

wow

“WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE”

wow Bakugou. wow. I may not know all of their names yet, but at least I know... two of their quirks

-- and actually I do know their names! Sato, Hagakure, and Mina! wow! guys! I did it!!!

meanwhile All Might’s up in the stands with his own hot fresh takes on Bakugou, which mainly consist of “he may be a jerk but he sure is talented and that sure does make him popular.” yep. are you proud. he’s still our son, All Might

Todoroki already picked a team while Bakugou was standing there trying to figure out what everyone else’s quirks even are and what exactly is this mysterious “teamwork” thing anyway

luckily he has a good friend who mysteriously loves him for some reason!

even though Bakugou doesn’t even remember his name sobbbbb

to be fair, I sure took a long hecking time remembering it myself

Kirishima is pointing out that he’s the best fit since his quirk allows him to take whatever explosions Bakugou dishes out

wow they really are compatible. this seriously could take over as my main ship, were it not for the fact that Deku has so plainly been in love with Katsuki since he was three years old

but even so! like, I’ll just nab this little KiriBaku tugboat, maybe, and let it puff along next to my main ride

incidentally, Bakugou doesn’t even know what Kiri’s quirk is

and Kiri DOESN’T EVEN SEEM TO MIND ANY OF IT

“Bakugou who should you ride?” “idk someone with a death wish cuz I sure fucking will blow them up you can be sure of that” “no!! me!!!”

that’s the pure kind of unconditional Yamamoto-esque love that can withstand whatever pain and hardship life decides to dole out. good shit

so who’s he gonna pick as his final teammate then

guess who doesn’t care who Mineta picks. me

Shouji if you agree to team up with Mineta you will be cancelled by association until the end of this challenge. it’s not your fault, it’s just the way things are

DEKU WHY ARE YOU STILL STANDING THERE. YOU SEEMED LIKE YOU HAD A PLAN. THAT’LL FUCKING SHOW ME TO ASSUME YOU WOULD EVER TAKE THE INITIATIVE IN LITERALLY ANY KIND OF SOCIAL SITUATION

so then. you’re either stuck with the most desperate peeps, or your loyalest most dedicated besties

eh, I fail to see how punching something really hard one time and then having your body fall apart would inspire faith, though. please note that your fellow classmates, who have seen your quirk, are still avoiding you

oh! I see a “Deku” speech bubble though! only one non-Kacchan person here who calls him that! :D

LOOK AT YOU LUCKING OUT OVER HERE DEKU

this was seriously one of his best prospects to begin with. her quirk would help a lot when it comes to avoiding people, and with him having the highest point value to start with, they don’t really need to go after other people’s points

so if he’s teaming up with her, then Iida is definitely the best choice for a third teammate. they work well together, and I guarantee no one else has offered to team up with him yet lol. just gotta watch out for those hand gestures like I said

but before we get to that let’s just appreciate Deku’s meme face

is this face a meme. if not, my question is how could it not be

yesss. it’s all coming together now. THE OL’ RUN AND FLOAT

now they’re in the huddle and Deku’s explaining the ol’ run and float plan

but interestingly, he doesn’t intend to be the rider? he wants someone physically strong? well there are a few options then, but honestly there isn’t anyone else here who’s actually stronger than you bud

WOW now Iida’s suddenly deciding to be a spoilsport?!

YOU CAN REFUSE MY FOOT IN YOUR ASS YOU TREASONOUS CAD. A POX ON YOU IIDA!!!

apparently he’s decided to make Deku his rival too. EVERYONE, RIVALS. HE HAS ENOUGH RIVALS!!!

“ever since the entrance exam... I’ve been losing to you” well then sure as hell don’t expect it to stop now

he’s teaming up with Todoroki. wow. wow, Iida. you wanna be cancelled too because this is how you get cancelled

I’m not actually mad in all seriousness though, I just gotta protect my sweet Green Tsuna here who apparently has no Gokuderas to fall back on except for Ochako, that beautiful, rule-breaking moth

does the math actually work out so that there’s gotta be at least one person left for him to team up with?

dammit who’s it gonna be

OOOOHH

IT’S THE SMART STEAMPUNK GIRL FROM THE SUPPORT COURSE. I LIKE THIS! SHE’S A WILD CARD. GET IN HERE SUPPORT COURSE GIRL

HATSUME MEI YOU BEAUTIFUL TALENTED BRILLIANT POWERFUL MUSK OX

she says she wants to team up with him so she can be in the spotlight. see, this is what all these kids are forgetting. it’s not really about the points, it’s how well you show off what you’ve got

and she apparently wants to show off “her babies.” her inventions, I’m guessing

PLEASE JOIN US AND BE OUR WINRY ROCKBELL. BE OUR USOPP, MEI

SHE HAS JETPACKS. DEKU!!! DO IT

aww. Ochako don’t be jealous. he needs you, you’re the MVP even if no one else here knows it yet

okay so they’ve got three again. but Deku still seems to think they need one more person

“our formation’s just lacking some power...”

off he goes

who else are you gonna sweet talk into this group Deku

I should probably make a guess so that I can either brag afterwards, or laugh about how wrong I was

he keeps saying power. but most of the obvious 1-A powerhouses are already taken. Sato seems pretty tough, though, and there’s also that rock guy who is like the only guy left in the class who hasn’t done shit. and I think Tsuyu might still be available and she’s a dark horse IMO. my money’s either on her or Rocky Road

okay, this Viktor-looking guy has been making faces and mugging the camera this entire time, and now it looks like he’s actually gonna get a bit of focus here

and he’s acting like class B hung back on purpose. sure, okay. do your thing then; just don’t expect me to learn twenty more names when I only just got done with this first group after 27 fucking chapters

we’d better see who Deku picked before this ends or it’s a waste of a cliffhanger

oh good there’s one last two-page spread

Deku ended up as the rider after all huh

I FORGOT ALL ABOUT HIM! NOW I FEEL DUMB. HE’S FUCKING PERFECT, AND HE ACTUALLY AGREED TO JOIN THEM! TOKOYAMI, FROM THIS POINT ON YOU SHALL BE KNOWN AS “NEW IIDA”

THE SHADOW THING IS GONNA BE SO OP OMG. LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOO

BONUS:

“steampunk-related things” they didn’t even pretend

I’m glad Horikoshi made so many interesting female characters and went against his initial instinct to make several of them guys. class A only has six girls out of 20 people total, so it’s not quite balanced, but it’s better than there being like. four girls. and they’ve all got heaps of skill and talent, and varied and interesting personalities

so the support course peeps are basically the Tony Starks of BnHA

I am so down with this. go on and befriend Deku and make him all sorts of cool shit later on and further enrich the series with your general presence, Mei

#bnha #boku no hero academia #makeste reads bnha #lots of people in this one #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #kirishima eijirou #uraraka ochako #iida tenya #hatsume mei #tokoyami fumikage #I already forgot that class B kid's name again #I remember his copycat quirk but no idea what he's called #and tbh I can't be bothered to look it up again lol

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head-and-heart · 6 years

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The 100 Highlights - “Acceptable Losses” (5x07)

Hey guys!

I’m back to do my highlight recap of episode 5x07, “Acceptable Losses”, written by Jeff Vlaming. I am really happy to say that I enjoyed this episode a significant amount more than I did the previous one, and I’m really excited to dig into it with this post.

If you would like to view my other highlight posts you can do so here.

“She was shot, Marcus. Octavia Blake killed her - not me.”

^ Okay so I want to start of this post by talking about this line from Abby because I honestly think its really important. The fact that Kane was sort of implying that Abby was responsible for that girls death was really rubbing me the wrong way because, like, yes: maybe, if Abby was well, she would have been able to save the girl. But you can’t get a drug addict to fix themselves just by asking them to. And you can’t expect them to be able to fix other people too. As much as Abby may want to stop, that’s not how it works. I don’t think anyone should be blaming Abby for the death of that girl. It shouldn’t have even been Abby’s responsibility to treat her, to be honest. Jackson is a doctor, too. And he’s in a way better condition to handle that kind of situation at the moment. Obviously they wanted Abby because they can use drugs to get her to do what they want, but it doesn’t seem right for Kane to put that guilt on Abby’s shoulders.

It just reminded me so much of Abby saying to Raven in 4x03 that the radiation wasn’t killing that child - she was. It’s not true. Raven didn’t kill that girl, and Abby didn’t kill this one. It was Octavia.

Also I know everyone’s having fun hating on Kabby this season but I must have missed the memo cause I don’t really know why y’all hate it so much

Anywayyyyy

Harper SPOKE

“Funny, that’s the same thing we said about getting back down to the ground. And then we found you.”

LISTEN. I don’t know why y’all were hating on Bellamy for “shooting Octavia down” in this scene. The way she was talking to him in this scene absolutely SCREAMED manipulation to me. I was so happy when he said this to her - like, we’ve been waiting for seasons for him to stand up to Octavia, and finally he is. It’s a lot better than him just sitting there in silence, taking whatever she was probably about to throw at him once she had his sympathy and compliance.

Also, WHAT A DRAG. This writer has all the one-liners, damn. There was so much sass in this episode - I really enjoyed that aspect of it.

Okay, I REALLY love that they brought back Jasper’s suicide letter again in this episode. It was just SO important. So easily they forget about characters who have died on this show and what they meant to the people who are still alive, and I’m happy that that doesn’t seem to be the case with Jasper and Monty. Jasper’s presence in this episode felt like the callback this season needed - it helped me feel a lot more connected to the show, and to the characters. It was a well-needed reminder of the heart of this show and what it’s about.

Also, it is absolutely necessary to give ALL the kudos to Tree Adams for the work he has done this season (and especially in this episode). It’s crazy how much that man has managed to emote with his music. His presence on the crew of this show has served to elevate it in every single way. When I heard “The Awakening” being played over the scenes revolving Jasper ... it was A Lot fam. I think it is the most tragic and beautiful song that they have done on The 100 and it is also very deeply linked to Jasper as a character and everything that he went through. I love that, even though that song is from Season 3, they have continued to bring it back for both Season 4 and 5. It shows that they remember where they came from, and the journey that has brought us to this moment.

It Just Means A Lot.

Actually, everything to do with Monty and Clarke in this episode was INCREDIBLE. Man, I really felt their dynamic. They connected so well and it just made me really emotional. They used to be such a team ... Before. It’s nice to see that they can click back into that place so quickly again. Them teaming up ... it almost felt like old times.

“Monty, you can’t pick a lock with pruning sheers.” “Ye hath little faith.”

Thanks to this post here I am now aware that this is exactly what Monty said to Jasper in 2x07 when they were trying to unlock another door and Now I’m Sad (and yet also really happy that they put so much care and detail into this episode?).

Monty was just amazing this episode - like damn he’s so smart. He’s such an undercover badass. We don’t appreciate him enough.

I have to hand it to the writers with this one cause I really did NOT see that worm thing coming lmao. I was SO sure that we were about to get a cannibalism reveal and I’m pretty sure the writers are well-aware of that. They were having fun with us.

But on another note, I’m actually really happy that they brought the worms into the story. Otherwise, 5x05 would have pretty much just been a filler episode with no real significance. But, in doing this, they’ve made it so that episode is even more relevant than we thought. AND WOW WHAT A FUCKING TERRIFYING WAY TO DO SO.

BELLAMY AND MONTY AND CLARKE HAVING A CHAT JUST LIKE OLD TIMES WOW I’M EMO

We can’t forget they were the OG murder trio of 2x16 i love three pals bonded through the blood of their enemies

“Be diplomatic.” “Get out.” “Real diplomatic.” I LOVE TWO (2) COMEDIANS WOW BELLARKE REALLY HAS ME SHOVED STRAIGHT UP THEIR ASS HUH

“Clarke, he was there when Pike shot her and killed 300 of her people.” I know everyone is really mad about this line but on rewatch I noticed that they changed this line from the script so that it puts the blame for the massacre on Pike’s shoulders rather than Bellamy’s and while I do think it was a bit of an awkward placement, I appreciate that they changed the line so it didn’t feel like such a punch in the face.

Also, Clarke’s pause and then “I’ll go with him”? Peak comedy. I love a woman.

“When I was a kid, after the battle of San Francisco, I watched the evacuation on TV. Thousands of refugees being packed into aircraft carriers. I remember seeing soldiers pushing helicopters overboard just to make more room, and Diyoza was there. She was the one giving the orders. The machines were expendable, but the people weren’t. But up in space, when we reported that the miners were getting sick, Eligius saw it differently. Order Eleven came down: ‘Bring home the Hythylodium, leave the prisoners.’ Like they were garbage. Captain Stevens agreed and I didn’t.”

There’s something so compelling about the way Jordan Bolger delivers his lines. It reminds me of him talking to Clarke in 5x03 - I could listen to him talk about his backstory for hours. When he speaks he just has a way of captivating the audience. And also CHARMAINE DIYOZA WAS A MFING WAR HERO AND I WON’T HEAR ANYTHING ELSE. Damn, she continues to be the absolute best.

“So you see, Diyoza’s not as bad as you think and I’m not as good as you hoped.” WHAT A FUCKING LINE.

I am living for Zeke’s character and his relationship with Raven is so intriguing. Jordan and Lindsey have such great chemistry.

“An honest spy is either incompetent or working an angle. Which are you?” CHARMAINE TRULY CAME FOR HER LIFE GOD SHE’S SO SAVAGE I LOVE A WOMAN

“Karina died because her doctor was too high to operate.” “Really? And here I thought it was the bullet.” THANK. YOU.

The way Charmaine calls Kane out in this scene really just made me want to like, pump a fist or something, lmao. When he’s like “maybe it would be a good way to get rid of some of these ...” and she says, “What, Kane? Undesirables?” I. FELT. THAT.

“Kind of like sending 100 juvenile delinquents to die on the ground. Or abandoning 300 prisoners on an asteroid?” You know, I really didn’t expect Charmaine - of all people - to bring back this old argument from Season 1 but I WAS SO HAPPY THAT SHE DID. Say what you will about Diyoza but she’s nothing if not loyal. She’s not here to abandon her troops and she’s not willing to discard any of them - just like she wasn’t willing to abandon any of those refugees. The fact that she’s so open to allowing defectors into the camp at all, that she is feeding them, giving them shelter, actually sitting down to have chats with them is just so ... uncharacteristic of a “villain”? And I love it.

“Trust her? She’s a drug addict. ... Too soon?”

Literally me, every time Diyoza opens her mouth:

Got to take a short second to say again how interested I am to see how this whole Gaia/Madi plotline is going to play out, now that we know that she is actually here to keep her safe. It’s such an interesting dynamic, with her being so close to Octavia.

I know a lot of people are annoyed that the flame is still part of the show but honestly, I think it makes a lot of sense (considering Madi’s position as a nightblood) and plays a lot more interesting of a role now that the time of the Commander’s is supposedly over and their faith has been destroyed ... almost. In any case, I’m pretty sure that the flame will be gone for good by the end of this season because I think that whatever happens with Madi and Octavia’s reign and Wonkru is going to lead to its destruction, but in the meantime I really don’t mind it being part of the story.

I have to talk about the scene where Gaia shows her the flame because I LOVE how it was filmed. The music was so eery and fit the mood perfectly, and the fucking whispers??? We’ve never actually seen how a real, living nightblood reacts to the flame and I think it’s actually super cool that Madi can feel a bond to it - it was literally beckoning to her. It was giving me major Lord of the Rings vibes.

And wow, Lola really killed that scene. You can clearly see the way her emotions are creating inner turmoil for her. She’s been hiding from the flame since birth and yet she also cannot deny the draw that she feels towards it (again, like Frodo with the ring). Lola has such a potential as a little actress - I’m really excited to see where she goes.

Side note but ... who’s going to tell these writers no one actually refers to their sibling as “big brother” just casually?

“There are times in war where you have to do the wrong things for the right reasons.” And I’m sure this is exactly how Echo justified every single thing she did pre-Praimfaya too. I have to admit that I actually liked what they did with Echo this episode just because it shows that she still has areas that require growth. Her priorities and loyalties changed up on the Ark but she has yet to be truly tested. This is her test, to see how much those six years really changed her. If this episode is an indication, her instinct is still to fall back into old habits during times of war. I’m optimistic that what this means is we are going to get to see Echo have real development, on-screen, this season.

Monty reading Jasper’s letter ... I Am Not Okay.

Again, loved all the callbacks to Jasper in this episode. It’s really interesting that his character arc has carried over from Season 3/4 and seems to have reinvented itself in Monty now. I’m hopeful that Monty isn’t going to go down the self-destructive path that Jasper went down, but that he might actually use Jasper’s memory to pave the path towards real change. We rarely get characters who want to end the fighting rather than continue it - I’m interested to see where Monty’s character arc goes as the season progresses.

“Jasper was smarter than all of us [...] If the war is the only way to have the last survivable land on Earth, then maybe we don’t deserve it.” He’s not wrong ...

Octavia throwing a skull at her mirror in rage ... I just have to laugh

“If we lose, [you helping Kane escape] will be why. How does that make you feel?” “Awful, and I’d do it again.”

LISTEN INDRA THIS SEASON IS EVERYTHING. She’s one of the few characters who is not afraid to call out Octavia on the way that she is leading. She can see so clearly through Blodreina’s bullshit and yet she loves Octavia despite it. That’s Strength.

“I miss him, too.” Lemme just go roll into my corner and CRY MY FUCKING EYES OUT because Bellamy and Jasper was one of my all time favourite dynamics and I miss it so much

“Make algae, not war. That’s cute.” IT IS FUCKING CUTE BELLAMY ALL RIGHT

“If the early batches don’t kill them like they nearly did us.” “That’s before I got the recipe right, and you know it.” I STAN

Seriously, though ... Monty is just SO (so) underrated.

BELLAMY BLAKE HAS A FUCKING DIMPLE ON HIS RIGHT CHEEK AND I WAS NOT EVEN FUCKING AWARE OF THIS FACT BECAUSE IN ALL THE FOUR AND HALF SEASONS THAT CAME BEFORE THIS THE CAMERA HAS NEVER FOCUSED ON HIS SMILE LIKE THAT BEFORE SO YEAH I AM SALTY BECAUSE WE HAVE BEEN ROBBED OF THIS CUTENESS GOOD NIGHT

“75% of your people are dying.” “Well, that’s good . . . For Octavia.” The casual way she delivers this line askqiakdksansks i stan a comedian

LISTEN. The reveal of Diyoza being pregnant LITERALLY made me gasp. Out loud. I literally jumped off of my couch and cheered. I am SO excited about this reveal. I didn’t think they were going to actually use the fact that that Ivana was pregnant during filming in the show because they had her taking tequila shots in 5x05 (*sigh*) but I’m really happy that they decided to. It just adds a whole extra layer to Charmaine. She’s not just a leader - she’s a mother. And I do wonder at how that might affect Abby’s and Charmaine’s dynamic, because that’s one thing they both have in common.

Another reason I really liked that reveal was because I think Charmaine being pregnant gives her a higher chance of surviving this season. She still may die, but it’s a lot darker to kill off a character when they are carrying a baby inside of them than when they are not, and I know the CW has regulations on that kind of thing.

That being said, Karina was heavily implied to have been pregnant and she still died ... Although they did cut out the lines that explicitly stated she was pregnant from the script so maybe her death was why?

Anyway, I’m really excited about this plotline.

Raven looking at a beaten up Shaw with tears in her eyes ... this is the angst I live for. Man, I could get invested in this relationship. Not to mention, Zeke becoming one of the prisoners is SUPER intriguing. His role within Eligius is what kept him conflicted before, but if Eligius has rejected him too now, who will he become? What will he do to help Raven and the others? Right now, I’m sure he wants nothing to do with her but I know that won’t last forever and I’m really excited to see what they do with his character.

I know that Madi beating Ethan in that fight was a TERRIBLE idea but I’m really excited about it. Madi has surprised me as a character (in a good way) because she has so much of her own agency outside of Clarke. I think the story of her struggling with her hero-worship and glorification of Octavia versus her love and loyalty to Clarke is super interesting. She may be fucking everything up but she’s doing it on her own terms, and that’s exciting, because Madi easily could have been written in as a plot device to cause conflict between Clarke and her friends as well as within the Grounder system. Instead, the writers have given her flaws and strengths in her own right. She is way more fleshed out as a character than I was expecting going into Season 5 and I think this story with her and Octavia will be really interesting.

Also, I 100% predicted that Madi would be Octavia’s second in my spec masterpost months ago. In fact, a lot of my spec about Madi and Octavia has been taking shape pretty nicely so I’m really interested to see if the rest of my spec regarding that relationship follows through too ...

Clarke taking the radio and calling Diyoza just like she called Emerson in 2x16 ... damn. DAMN. Nice to see the return of “you may be the Chancellor, but I’m in charge”. She’s So Powerful.

BELLAMY AND CLARKE STARING DIRECTLY INTO EACH OTHER’S EYES DURING THE ENTIRE RADIO SCENE UNTIL BELLAMY COULDN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE AND TURNED AWAY AM I SENSING SOME TENSION HERE

But seriously, he knew exactly what she was going to see even before she said “That’s why we’re going to take her out.” Even after six years Bellamy can read her so well

I’ve been waiting all season for the turbulence I was promised and OH BOY AM I READY FOR THE ANGST

HAKELDAMA 2.0 HERE I COME

BOOM. Out.

That was a KILLER episode. It took me forever to get through this recap because there were so many aspects of the episode that I really, really enjoyed. It hit all the right emotional beats, the music was on point, and the plot was super intriguing. It really feels like the story is picking up and I am SO excited to watch 5x08.

It’s going to be harder for me to keep on top of these recaps for the rest of the season as I’m going to be very busy (and I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to watch most of the episodes live) but I’ll do my best to get them all done. I can’t promise that they will all be completed in a timely fashion (before the next episode airs), as I have been doing them thus far, but I’ll try to get them done when I can!

Thanks for reading!

#the 100 #the 100 highlights series #monty green #clarke griffin #posts by moi #jasper jordan: more than a drunken idiot #monty green: not your average cinnamon roll

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