Veering Off Course

(2,305 words)

Gregory and his family get a call that Vanessa, whos in a different state for college, has gotten hurt. Gregory calls Evan, and Evan is able to use the things he's learned about himself since meeting Gregory to help his friend with his emotions regarding the situation.

Its early in the morning on a Saturday when Evan gets the call. It woke him up, so all he does is blink groggily and swipe at the screen blindly while propped up on his elbow until his thumb hits 'answer' on his phone. "Hello?"

"Evan." It's Gregory, and the serious tone to just that single word clears up Evan's brain as fast as lightning. He scrambles to prop himself into sitting up and rubs at his eyes with one hand.

"Gregory?" Evan asks, looking at the little icon he set for Gregory's contact of a picture of Evan and him at an amusement park. "Is everything okay?"

It takes a second for Gregory to respond, and it causes the anxiety that had steadily began to bubble inside of him to surge. "Gregory?"

"Sorry." Gregory finally answers. "I-- Uh... can you..." His friend struggles for words, and Evan tries to be as patient as possible as it becomes clearer every second something is wrong. "Can you come over? Like right now?"

Evan flounders for words for a second, but manages to force his mouth to say, "Of course."

"Okay." Gregory replies, and a surge of worry shoots through his chest when Gregory sounds like he might cry. He takes a breath on the other end, then, "Please hurry."

After that, Evan only lingers enough to respond with a short confirmation and goodbye before hanging up the phone. It takes him record time to shoot out of bed, sling on some shoes, and get down the street a few houses to Gregory's own.

His mind had played multiple awful scenarios of what terrible thing could have happened the entire time, but his worry does not ebb when he makes it to the porch and knocks on the door to a teary eyed Gregory.

Evan's immediately herded inside. Freddy has his phone in his hand pressed up against his ear, and he's pacing around the room. Aunt Chica and Aunt Roxy sit in the living room. Bonnie is sat in a dragged-over dining chair by Freddy and frowning.

It's dead silent in the house; even the TV and seemingly endless energy flowing through and causing bustling noise is snuffed out to nothing. Evan watches as everyone sits completely seriously and quiet, hands held in their lap or thrumming against something.

Impatience, is what Evan first thinks of. They're waiting for something. News, maybe? Freddy is on the phone. It's so silent you could hear a pin drop. Or somebody else's phone vibrate.

Evan's dread and anxiety only get worse when Gregory shuts the door behind him and tugs on him a bit. Evan follows without struggle, thousands of words and questions on his tongue when Gregory leads him to one of the unoccupied seats in the living room; a loveseat.

He sits down with him, and Gregory's face is scrunched up in barely restrained worry. Evan watches his friend, who's been an anchor for himself for so long, tremble and hunch in on himself. "Gregory?"

Gregory's eyes dart to him, and Evan leans down, hunching forward with his elbows rested on his thighs like theyre their own personal bubble. Evan's own brows furrow, and he feels the familiar thickness in his throat just at watching his friend be upset.

Evan grabs at his hand, squeezing it tight and lacing their fingers together. "I'm really worried, Gregory... please tell me whats wrong." Evan pleads. "Please?"

Gregory nods unsurely after a moment, and Evan watches him swallow thickly before turning to him fully. "Dad got a call from the University of Oregon today."

Evan's brows raise, but he nods to keep going. The University of Oregon is the college Gregory's sister, Vanessa, had left home to go attend. Evan hasnt gotten the chance to meet her, yet. She's already been gone two years strong, with a seemingly bright future. Evan's heard Gregory and his family talk about her enough to know her talents.

Gregory's breath hitches, and Evan wraps his other hand around Gregory's, the one he already has ahold of. He sandwiches it in-between his own and hopes it's enough comfort.

"Somebody called us and told us Vanessa got into a car crash today. On campus."

It's like a bucket of ice water is poured on Evan's head. His feet go cold, and his eyes widen to saucers. Fear shoots like an arrow through his stomach. When he stops reeling from the news, he watches Gregory begin to shake and lose the carefully gathered composure he'd put up since Evan arrived.

"They said..." Gregory's brows are furrowed so much it looks like it hurts. Theres a clench in his jaw and a wetness to his eyes Evan isnt used to. "They said she's already been taken to the hospital and is in surgery." He frowns, and theres a twist in his lip that Evan is so familiar with. "They... a-all we can do is wait. They told us they'd let us know any updates."

The house is thrown back into such jarring silence after Gregory stops talking that Evan's ears start ringing. Which makes it clear as day when Gregory's breath turns harsh beside him.

Evan tears his eyes away from the floor and ignores the twisting feeling in his chest to look at his friend. He has his face buried in the hand that isnt held by Evan and is shaking in a way where you can tell theyre trying so hard to keep it together. Gregory's angled away from him, but Evan can see the panic on his face even from where he can see.

Evan's breath hitches, and the thickness in his throat begins to turn into burning as he scootches closer to Gregory on the couch and sets a hand on his shoulder. He tugs a bit until Gregory gets the message and let's him wrap his arms around his middle and hold him close.

Gregory makes some sort of horrible, upsetting hitching noise that causes the dam to break for Evan, before he sort of flops against him and brings up his own arms to clutch at his T-Shirt. Gregory's head thumps against his shoulder, and it's one of the only times Evan really becomes aware of the height he has on his friend.

"Its okay..." Evan says into Gregory's shoulder, because it's all he knows to do in the moment. He glances around and sees that Gregory's family has shifted to the dining room, leaving them alone. Evan finally feels the tears slip from his eyes as he presses closer, hugging him like his life depends on it. "Its okay, Gregory. It'll be okay."

"It's--" Gregory says, and Evan can hear how much his voice shakes with barely contained tears. "Its not. I can't-- We can't even go see her. We can't go and wait for her to wake up, or anything... we just have to--" He cuts himself off, and Evan feels Gregory shake harshly against him.

"We just have to sit here." Gregory says, voice thick. "I dont know what to do, Evan. I don't know what to do."

And its only that sentence that causes Evan to grapple at what to do, if his friend can't. And all he can think about is how himself would react if it were Gregory getting hurt.

All he'd be able to do is cry, he realizes. He wouldnt be able to do anything. Just wait and be scared.

But that's what Gregory is getting at, isnt he? He can't do anything. That's the thing. Evan has known Gregory long enough to get him. To know, him. Evan knows that Gregory doesnt sit around and cry like Evan does. He prefers to get up and do something about whatevers wrong.

Hes a problem solver instead of waiting around. A fighter instead of a crier. No wonder hes so bent out of shape about this. To have a loved one in danger, and when you're so used to getting up and making a plan to fix a problem and are forced to sit in standby...

Evan eases them down against the cushion of the couch, not once untangling themselves from eachother. Gregory shakes, but he does not cry. "So what would you do if you could?"

The hair from Gregory's bangs brushes against Gregory's neck as he moves his head. "I'd... I don't know. I'd at least try to get to her." Gregory says, voice unbelievably quiet. "At least get to her. Then figure it out from there. Just so I'm not waiting on phone calls."

Evan nods against him, his chin scrunching up Gregory's hair. His tears have long since stopped falling, but he knows he has dry tracks on his cheeks. "You have a plan."

Gregory makes some sort of noise that would sound like a snort in any other circumstances. "I would if I could." Gregory replies, squeezing his arms a bit tighter. "But I cant" He sighs, shuddering and heavy. "I just have to wait."

Evan hums. "You're worried, and you're stressed." He makes the same noise Gregory just did. "I know how you feel... I really do. Maybe not your exact situation, but... I get what it's like to feel helpless." He says. "You know what I would do?"

Gregory hums this time, questionative. Evan rubs circles into his back. "I'd sit there and wait, and wish for it to different. And when it wouldnt be, I'd cry."

Gregorys head shifts against that crook between Evan's chin and chest, almost like hes trying to look him in the eye but the hug prevents him from being able.

"All I ever did was cry." Evan says when Gregory doesnt respond. "Its the only thing that I could do to cope."

"...So..." Gregory asks, and his voice is thick again. "You mean..."

"You're stressed." Evan answers. "You're stressed and you're worried. So... why dont you let it out?"

Evan, out of anyone, knows how valuable emotions can be. He didnt, once upon a time. When everyone would just tell him how annoying it is. How useless it is. How he's asking for it. How he should have toughened up by now. When instead of comfort, he'd receive ridicule and prodding.

That's changed. Ever since a certain someone entered his life. He doesn't think of his emotions, himself so little anymore. So worthless. So maybe that's why Gregory perks up ever so slightly in understanding.

And that's all it takes.

Gregory's trembling turns into shoulder shaking sobs like the snap of a finger. He cries, open and unadulterated, and Evan just hugs him close and rubs his back, offering reassurances like Gregory has done for him so many times.

His own eyes burn when his best friends sobs are heard so openly and he can feel every shudder of his body. Evan's chin scrunches, and the tears fall right along with Gregory as Evan hugs him close, tucking his face into his hair.

"Im--" Gregory cries. "I-Im just so worried about her."

"I know." Evan responds, his own voice breaking as he pets Gregory's hair. His shirt is damp with tears but he doesnt care. "Itll be okay. It'll all be okay."

They stay like that for a while, and Evan can tell Gregory needs it. He needs it. The worry he felt that morning doesnt ever really leave, and it stays ever-present as Evan watches his friend fall apart. They stay stuck together like magnets, eventually only shoulder to shoulder with linked hands on the loveseat, and none of Gregory's family try to peel them apart when they eventually wander back into the living room.

They stay in a state of constant agonizing limbo all day. At 8:00pm, Freddy calls it a night. Gregory protests immediately, but Aunt Roxy calms him down almost seamlessly and convinces him to go to bed.

Of course, Evan follows him. He cant imagine a world where he doesnt. The air mattress stays deflated in Gregory's closet as it has been most of the time nowadays. All Evan has to do is kick his shoes off since he left home in his pajamas anyway and they're wrapped around eachother, tucked in Gregory's bed under his comforter in the dark.

Gregory is silent all throughout the night, even though Evan knows he's awake. Evan just hopes that... he did the right thing. Something knows is that suppressing how you feel isnt good. It never works. No matter how much you want it to.

Gregory taught him that. He just wants to return the favor. Not because he owes Gregory, no. Gregory has long since hammered it into Evan's thick skull that he has nothing to pay him back for. That his kindness is not a deed to Evan, but rather that Evan himself deserves to be treated kindly.

Gregory does, too. Evan knows this with all his heart. Gregory is his best friend and has done more for him than anyone else ever has.

Evan... all Evan did was change. Change for the better. And hopefully he helped the most important person in his life with the things he learned. The things that person taught him.

He hugs Gregory's middle a little tighter, not daring to break the silence. Gregory needs time, but doesn't want to be alone. Evan understands. He does. He just hopes to convey what he truly feels through the one action.

Thank you. I'm here for you. I'll always be here. You're my best friend. I'm so glad you trust me. I trust you as well. So much.

Gregory himself wraps his arms tighter around Evan in turn, and Evan feels like the single movement lso has a deeper meaning he cant read.

They dont speak. They just lay in silence until eventually they fall asleep, stuck together like two puzzle pieces.

ao3 link

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS PT 2.

If you want to know about your gifts, talents and skills you should check out your sidereal chart as each planet holds a lot of detail on the mind-spirit-body connection. It shows a lot of your personal power from each planet and sign and how they all fully come together to make you, you.

Capricorns are naturals at the occult. They hold a lot of deep knowledge about how this world works and they express the duality of it very well. Most think that capricorns are built on just the law and while they are, they know that their are rules that can be broken. Capricorns are an interesting bunch, they know just how to be successful in anything that they do. Getting closer to the higher ups because they just that 'it' factor of being the boss. They dont 'kiss ass' per say, they just know how to play the game. And another thing about the game, capricorns know thats what we live in. So to play the game, they learn to become the chess master.

5th house scorpios can make anything interesting in this house. Games with them can be slightly taboo. Could have a lot of sex partners. hidden secrets around children, their love life and the type of games they like to play. An observation ive seen with scorpio 5th housers is that BDSM and weird kinks/cosplay could be a thing.

5th house uranus will have some pretty interesting kids. Will Smith has this placement for example. People with this placement are gonna have to understand that their children are going to be a totally different version of them and thats okay. Unique individuals, they can create fun and new games for people. You could be the next person to make a new board game or something a long those lines. Video games? New toys? Theres a business mindset here that needs to be touched on with these placement holders. You guys can really create new, whimsical worlds for people to enjoy!

Neptune in the 8th, spiritual realms open up to these individuals. They do not sleep. No I mean literally, their dreams take them to new dimensions all the time and they come back finding out new information from these worlds. Even their waking life is like a dream, connecting it all together. May be prone to getting psychosis due to the consistent stimulation to their third eye. Its a wild ride for these kids, if you have a friend with this placement gon' head and check on them.

10th house Saturns & Jupiter placements have self mastery written all in their chart. Whatever it is they came out to do its been done before in many other lives. If you believe in past lives, then im talking to you.

10 house jupiter individuals are natural geniuses finding their way through life. They focus heavy on community and love to learn more about how they can help them, what they can bring to the table etc.

Mars in the 8th house is a strong placement for jealousy to occur. These individuals know what they want when they want it. Highly passionate in nature, they most create a routine where their energy can be tapped into on a daily or they'll suffer burn out. Or worse, become a sex maniac. All your energy can not go to sex, it has to go to something that sustain you. Whats your purpose? goals? get into it. thats where most of it HAS to go to.

Venus 6th house need routine to be in order. Some chaos here and there but not too much in your day to day. Your minds needs to follow your passions and purpose in order to feel stable. Focus on something that makes you pay close attention to detail. Something that forces you to take your time.

People with this placement normally have the cutest pets :) and they get the most compliments all of the time.

okay but the Naruto universe is so fucking weird yet funny if you explain it and question it.

first, you have this lil orphan broke kid ninja boy named after a fishroll. then, you have an emo kid who acts like he got parents and a good way in life despite the fact he’s equally as much of an orphan as Mr. Broke-Blonde-Bitch. THEN you have this normal chick with pink hair who signed up for absolutely none of this nonsense yet got dragged into it. tell me why it’s these three against the world yet none of them can function together? it’s like watching ferrets hyped up on PCP fight over raw spaghetti noodles. dont even get me started when they were in school together, i can bet every person here 6 cents that at some point Sakura aka Ms. Fuckall got tired of Naruto and Sasuke���s bullshit and just tried to abandon them at an animal shelter.

speaking of school and general tomfoolery, why was the dude in charge of these three young squishy brained freaks the most depressed 20 something year old creature on the planet? i will admit, Kakashi is attractive and a great dude. he is so iconic, he misses his old team, and it’s clear he wanted best for his Group of Weird Children but he also reads porn all day and his mask probs smells like cheap aftershave.

if i was a 13 year old ninja child and i saw my sensai (who’s name sounds like cashew) doing all that i’d assume im either about to learn a sick ass skill (how to not cope with emotional trauma properly) or im about to get my ass handed to me. or im about to dropout.

back on track. so you’ve got orphan #1, orphan #2, Ms. Get-Me-Out-Of-Here, and Emotionally Repressed Man in one team. what do the kids do? beef for like 3048384 episodes. what does Kakashi do? try to teach them the power of friendship the entire damn series. oh, and let’s not forget that Naruto apparently has a demon fox inside him because of course he does.

anyways, once the team gets good at teaming they haul off to take their lil ninja exams. who do they meet? some kid named Gaara with smudged eyeliner and shaved brows. he’s a red-head, that’s cute. oh and he can control sand and tries to kill every child in the exams because his dad is a piece of shit hipster. who else do they meet? a kid named Rock Lee who can kick really hard, a girl named Tenten who wishes for all of us to stfu, and poor Neji who can’t keep doing this. there’s also some guy named Guy. yeah, the chunin exams nearly flop because Gaara doesn’t know how to act right.

all this is happening but the pivotal of it all? Sasuke decides to be extra emo and FUCKS OFF TO KILL HIS HALF BLIND SICKLY OLDER TWINK BROTHER.

then, Naruto decides he wants to harness his powers and FUCKS OFF WITH AN OLD ASS BUSHY HAIRED MAN WHO WRITES PORN. Jiraiya needs to be studied on a microscopic spiritual level. he is why SCP’s exist.

who let these kids out? i told you all not to feed the animals and look what happened. now theres beef between a group of kids and the akatsuki.

oh and the akatsuki?? don’t get me started. wtf is that. why is this group of fucked up people with weird powers who are being led by a ginger hive mind of corpses just wandering around? and why is Weasel, aka Itachi, in the middle of it with his goofy explosive hypnotic eyeballs? i want them all put down.

so you’ve got the evil eldirch horrors in the streets. thats fine. Naruto gets put into a new gang cuz Kakashi has to hospitalized. cool, whatever. Naruto decides to start hutning down his rogue boyfriend alongside Sakura, who became a sickass ninja doctor, along with his new sensei Yamato. wonderful… THEN SOME BITCH NAMED SAI SHOWS UP.

DO NOT GET ME STARTED.

what is that? why is it emo? why is its tongue tattooed? put it back outside bro i stg. i love him so much.

everything is just everywhere in this anime bro I can’t. Sasuke is no where to be seen, Naruto is doing fuckall across the world with his groupie, Kakashi is lowkey sad again cuz his kids are gone, and Sakura can barely breathe without issues occurring.

not just that but the twink brother named Weasel is being stupid and enables his own murder. yeah he basically wants Sasuke to come for his ass. meanwhile, Naruto comes home bigger, better, older but still broke and full of fox demon. still, not a single soul except his friends and teachers like him. shit gets even more wild, it becomes knock-off Cheetah Girls vs. The World.

girl i gotta go before i hurt someone. see yall in part 2.

(all of this is heavily unedited, apologies for mistakes)

Hello! Could I request Eddie Munson dating reader who has powers like Eleven headcanons? But not the exact same powers as Eleven yk- maybe reader has invisibility and whoever reader touches while their invisible also turns invisible? Idk 100% up to you :)

okay sooo i came up with so many that i really like so lets just have the reader have all of em okay :) great

Eddie Munson dating reader with powers....

~Okay like I said, I couldn't choose a power so theres a lot

~The three major ones are shape-shifting, hydrokinesis (thats when you control water) and molecular combustion (basically you can make things explode)

~The smaller ones are mind reading and the ability to breathe under water... for obvious reasons

~You had escaped the lab with El, so you've been involved with everything

~Just like El, you were taken in by Hopper, but you decided to stay in Indiana since most of your friends were there

~Yeah it sucked ass not being with El, but your best friend Nancy’s mom let you live with them

~You actually met Eddie before the whole Vecna thing, but he didn’t find out about your powers till during, when you guys were fighting the demobats

~Mans was so fucking shocked he kinda just stood there with his jaw basically at his feet when he saw you blow up a bat with your mind

~Everyone else acted like it was the most normal thing in the world (they already knew about it, of course) 

~“Babe, did you just blow that bat up with your mind?!”

~“Yeah she can do that” Steve said, hella nonchalantly

~More bats came and you guys ran, but when you made it to skull rock he would not stop asking questions about it, and made you demonstrate

~After all of the Vecna stuff happened, you stopped hiding your powers and he would constantly ask you to use them

~One time he even had you use them when one of his teachers wanted to have a parent/teacher conference with his uncle ad he didn’t wanna get in trouble so he made you shapeshift into his uncle

~Because your water abilities, you guys would swim in lovers lake and he’d try to start a water fight but end up losing every time

~Youd fw him when he would shower and youd make the water hella fucking cold at random times

~Would 100% wanna blow stuff up with you cause “why the fuck not”

~Hes never able to keep secrets from you cause of the mind reading. If he wants to cuddle in bed, you’ll know. If he wants to smoke weed with you, you’ll know. If hes hella horny and want’s you to ride him, you’ll know, but you want him to say it cause its no fun if hes not asking and begging for it

~Basically life is just so much more fun now that you dont have to hide it anymore, cause lets face it, it was hard to explain why things would blow up when you’re in a bad mood

can we hear your barbie thoughts?

okay heres just the copy paste from my letterboxd. (whew wee is it LONG)

i was so excited. that one is on me.

movie so so confusing. i thought i was in for like an absurdist comedy, but it was like forced feminist political commentary?? do NOT get me wrong on this one okay, i have seen so many people get torn to SHREDS for saying that they didn't like this movie bc they hate #girlpower. i am not one of those people. but idk abt u guys but i feel like its not that hard a concept to have a good female empowerment movie without just telling us straight in our faces that its female empowerment ALL. THE. TIME.. felt like i was being spoon fed with a forklift. theres this really cool special tactic called… subtlety.. wow its a crazy thing. they spent so much time shoving a message down my throat they.. forgot what it was.??? like they lost track of what they wanted to say like a million times over it was annoying. they said so much to mean so little. messaging so muddled the barbies literally interfered with a fucking government election and got away with it. they didn't want the kens to have any power so they took them away from the pink house and voted without them to put themselves back as the only leaders. the fuck barbie. i feel like the solution in barbieland was not to just fucking reinstall the matriarchy but instead work together as one to create an idyllic society where the barbies and the kens can live side by side without one towering over the other. the kens were not being horridly mistreated b4, but i understand wanting to be treated better. and i could have some mild sympathy for them, but as soon as they took over barbieland they just treated women like shit making them doing everything for them. and yes that is no good, but its interesting to me that the barbies did not take this as a lesson at all?? like they did not look back and really go, 'huh,, maybe you should ALSO have rights bc being seen and treated as inferior is not okay.' no they took it as an opportunity to shove more fucking glitter coated instagram infographic #positivity down my throat. i understand that this was kinda the point, to be like look! this is what its like and the 'just be yourself' solution means nothing in the end! just like the real world! but why would i want that? why would i want a backwards version of a fucking corrupt system that doesn't work? it doesn't work this way; flipping it, well guess what it still doesn't work. this is fucking barbieland, i WANT them to all be happy and equal in the end! i don't want to think about how awful everything is! its a fantasy world, why would you want to model it after the horrible deep sucking never ending vacuum into the black hole that is the real world? its my barbies and kens (and allen) and damnit i think that they should be happy. also side note, how tf did the kens brainwash the barbies??? like the fuck was that? to me that implies that the barbies also had the kens brain washed to be only accessories. like whoevers in power just has control over the other group? this movie makes everyone like a fucking monster.

can u believe i have more to say? turn back now bc i will never stop typing.

ummm kinda hated that random ass woman and her child? and i hate even more that i can refer to them as that. they were horridly bland fucking ONE dimensional characters. no personality, no real development, nothing. just a forced under-devloped mother daughter sub-plot that if my mother had seen would've cried and made me feel like it was my fault for growing up. (normal mom behavior or just me….??)

mattel, you fucking sleazy greased up wet RAT. you canOT,,, okay listen to me… CAN. NOT. make a movie like 'corporations bad! they dont hire women! rampant consumerism bad!!'. baby girl look in the mirror, its not funny, its not being 'self-aware', it makes me feel,, bad. like you can get away with anything bc you actually can. making literal cartoon goons of yourself as some sort of distraction from all of the very real major issues that are happening in the real world corporate mattel company is rancid. you can to be as 'self-aware' as you want but the bottom line is that you just flat out dont care. you won't change anything. trying to be funny about it makes me feel sick. you can't make capitalist consumerism the movie and try to be like 'yeah thats so bad right guys? you guys also hate corporations?! great!'. you cant have your cake and eat it too.

i liked allen. allen sweetheart baby girl darling dear honeybun beloved i'm so sorry the filmmakers hate you. dude literally had like 6 lines. justice for allen.

out of all the 'shameful' barbies i was actually most excited to see the inclusion of video cam barbie!!! i wanted that bitch soooo bad.

laughed a handful of times, as fucking painful as the depression barbie ad was i laughed really loud at the bbc pride and prejudice joke. i thought the godfather joke was also very funny. some of the doll jokes were funny, but its like okay guys this was low hanging fruit to begin with lets not repeat them like ten times over. the n-sync allen joke also got me. i know i laughed a bit in the theater… but as of right now i'm drawing a blank on standout jokes. that says smth huh?

i like the big ken dance number when they went to like abstract reality zone. that was good. now just remake this movie but like that. it needed to be more loose and fun, alter reality for a dance number! do that!! i want some goddamn old hollywood type of just nonsense sequences. the song was not good tho tbh.

costumes and set were… objectively very good! do NOT get me wrong. the team behind it is very talented and they did an awesome job! however. they went for more of a 'generic barbie' look for the barbies costumes and for barbieland. which to me ended up looking more haunting..? idk WHY but the lack of actual dolls just chilling around made the few real dolls stand out like sore thumbs. that and also it felt like edward scissorhands type of suburbia. complete pastel hellscape. the thought of living in a 'perfect' pink pastel world where everything is the same everyday forever and if ur slightly different you literally get banished forever is horrifying. wheres all the girl power huh?? what happened to women helping women??? nope, you look kind odd?? sorry we hate you forever.

the ending was also just a hot hot garbage fire. whhyyyy did barbie decide she no longer wanted to be a barbie……? i feel like i missed that part since we were so focused on ken. oh so its bc she saw just a fuckinh home video slideshow?? yeah okay whatever just roll credits so i can leave now pls. a gynecology joke. really?

feminist movies do need to be made. but why with barbie? she has never been a feminist icon. this isn't her domain. she's just barbie. and trying to attach real life feminist issues to a fucking plastic doll to be bought and sold, to be commodified doesn't sit right with me. shes not meant to be this complex guys, and i feel like they just completely fumbled on that. to me barbie is just there. you play dress up with her, take her on fun adventures, play with your friends, you don't pick up a barbie doll and go 'wow i would just love to have this woman be groped and then come to terms with the real world and its many problems'. thats stupid. i was in for a fun little roadtrip adventure movie with barbie and her friends. and this was just too much.

this movie was not fun and whimsical to me. it was drab, it was horrifying, it was depressing. i wanted to have a brief escape from reality, but instead i was faced with the same atrocities of everyday life but hot pink and glitter coated. which only added to the awful feeling of 'it will be this way forever.' it wasn't a silly movie about being a woman and what that means, it was a faux women power movie made by massive corporations trying to tell us that they are hip and relatable and that you should buy so much merchandise. it was just one big reminder that capitalism will live forever and it will only get worse because everyone just eats it up if its brightly colored.

... no serious though how do you have a comic with so much daddy issues and never touch on generational trauma and the disconnect between pre and post war knothole? its very reflective of the people behind it, sure, and i dont mean that in a judgey way- i understand that many experiences in my life have made my view of it very different than the average audience/writer and that like me trying not to put it in a way that sounds too much like "we live in a society" but like, ill take that risk to say that so much of sonics asshole moments can be explained by the inability to cope w/ everyone suddenly having parents! a government that isnt just Evil where the situation is more complex bc its his girlfriend/ex gf but still best friends dad who is still doing fucked up things but he cant just go beserk and not just that, giving into their expectations. sallys father is DIFFICULT. he does many fucked up and questionable things that tbh even the narrative doesnt condemn sufficently for my liking. he tries to segregate roboticized mobians, he tries to suppress a democracy, that mind you, was proposed PEACEFULLY.

sonic being kind of a dick and a brat can be easily explained by the fact that he was living in the woods with his lost boys and everything was as simple as beating robotniks ass and now suddenly hes being thrust into a political landscape that hes right in the middle of because his childhood friend had to be the fucking princess! and his whole world has changed drastically, everyone is very happy about it too! its suppose to be a good thing but years of his life his problems were different. and then you add on the fact he missed an ENTIRE YEAR of his friends existing and is displaced and alienated because of this, he is a year behind everyone adjusting to the drastic changes, and THEN he deals with MORE bullshit. sonic is allowed to be a little fucking stupid and rude hes 15 and he thought the world was just going to be him and his friends as usual together for the rest of their lives and he cant even be upset it all got turned upside down because technically this means everything is okay now, except it isnt because theres new problems. this is also why the 25 years later plot pisses me off once again and im so glad its another universe because the idea that they just would repeat the whole cycle again, sonic would just become complacent with everything, and just kinda?? settled down??? his entire coping mechanism is being a war weapon and u think he just going to get married be king be okay with everything and be normal????

Quick! I need a comprehensive guide to all of your OCs right now or I'm going to start biting soon <– a guy totally not possessed by a werewolf

OUHHGHOOHOHOHH indulging me ..... OKAY theres a lot of them, BUT here's the basics ! It's written very informally but it should give you an idea for who everyone is !

[Solar Years] {This is the longest story I have written, and it has many other substories going on within it simultaneously. Big ole’ universe with tons of stuff going into it, not always connected to the main thing. High fantasy and Gods and all that jazz happening in the background of a slice of life story.}

★ Baltazar (They/He) is the protagonist of Solar Years and also my favourite little blorbo of all time. He's very big, a farmer (ex professional sports player), and also an immortal being that's been coming back to earth for 3 million years and counting, which are all normal things to say in succession. They have no sense of self preservation and desperately need to give themselves some grace for once <3

♤ Luis (He/Him) is the co-protagonist of the story, adopted from another story as a way to honour someone I greatly care about. In terms of personality, he's very much Baltazar's opposite, but ironically enough they've been coexisting for their entire lives. A long time ago, he accidentally cursed himself (through power of sheer rage and spite alone) into being immortal by falling into the Void, and nowadays he makes that Literally Everyone's problem. 

Some other characters in this story include Lazarus (She/He/They), Marsh (He/They), Andromeda (Any pronouns), Anastasia, Anne (Both she/her),  The Void Gang, and many many others. 

[Caede Tales] {Fan-story for Borderlands focusing on my ocs, which are essentially background characters to the main story, and exploring a little bit of what happens to just the regular people of Pandora. It's mostly meant to be a comedy but there's also The Horrors <3.}

♥︎ Jonah (He/it) and M3PH1ST0 (Mephisto) (They/It/He) are the same guy but a few arcs apart, also one of these eats people. One of Three protags, his side of the story focuses more on personal struggle of wanting to do better in a world that is inherently hostile to kindness, and how it slowly becomes more and more like its environment the more he realises the whole being nice thing isn't going anywhere. He's Normal (lie)

♣︎ Melaine (She/Ze) is a doctor from Promethea who came to Pandora to help the locals, and is also a direct parallel to Jonah in many ways. Her morals slooowly get more and more muddled as the story goes on and she loses a big part of herself in service of her work and the legacy she wants to leave behind, until it all culminates in her mutating herself to be a big bug. She's my everything.

◇ Archer (He/Him) is Jonah's brother and possibly the most repressed man   in all of history. He goes from a bandit to a famous rich businessman in a stroke of sudden luck, and has to grapple with his identity and everything he's leaving behind by going to another planet to do so. Local White Man. 

Some other characters in this story include Mary (She/Her), Lucio/Lucifer (Don't refer to this guy (He/Him)), Salt (He/They), Penelope and Cassandra (both She/her… for now.) Several Coworkers and many others.

[Gaslighting Fires] {Gaslighting Fires is all about Eris, a true businesswoman (stand in for criminal) at heart, and her many antics as she climbs her way to the top of the food chain. Dramedy if it was Cool (can you tell its my favourite genre)

♡ Eris (She/Her) is the protagonist and she Sucks So Fucking Bad. Girl who is gonna doom everyone else in the narrative and not take any responsibility for it. It's okay though she's awesome and gorgeous and I love drawing her so her crimes are forgiven. Lots of focus on her personal struggle in doing what she does and the relationships she accidentally keeps building with people. Whoopsies ! Your stupid ass got attached to the people you were planning on manipulating didn't it !! Cringe

♤ Lilith (She/He) is the Antagonist ! Generally speaking, her morals are still extremely questionable, but she's still a pretty decent person compared to whatever Eris got going on. His whole deal is that he's supposed to stop Eris, but due to Situations the only way to do that is to become worse than her, involving him in tons of other unrelated cases that lead into further spiralling into crime. And then they kiss and it's awesome. Don't worry about the spiralling into crime bit its enriching for her.

Other characters in this include Pandora (It/She), Jinx (They/It), Raque (She/Her)l, Gabe (He/him), Snappy (the turtle), Mallory (He/Her), Ophelia (She/Her) and some others !

[Computing Legacy] {Story set in a (dangerously close) future where Things are going to Shit so we're gonna create the matrix. Except creating the matrix actually helped a lot of people and it delayed the apocalypse a lot because of all the scientific breakthroughs it caused. Awesome ! Sure hope we don't have Repercussions Of Creating The Matrix in here or something !} 

♧ William (He/Him* for now.) is the protagonist and he sucks. Hate this guy <- loving. My horrible no good son who NEEDS to shut the fuck up more often but whom I adore nonetheless. His deal is that he's a hacker and programmer who's WAY over his head, and needs someone to get him out of there because it's making him lonely and depressed as shit. Guy who's probably nonbinary but is also in university so he Really Can't Worry About It Right Now.

♥︎ Althea (She/They) is the Co-protagonist and Queer-Platonic interest, love this girl <3 She's Will's opposite in every way, and for a while she's antagonised for it, but it's okay they get over it. They're also a very talented programmer, even though it wasn't their original career path (more of an artist), and they're trying Really Hard to make it through this world normally without exploding or disappointing their family. She's very nice to her own detriment and this gets a lot of focus in the story and how she slowly but surely becomes more ruthless thanks to their Horrible No Good Situation so people stop trying to take advantage of her <3

Some of the other characters in this include Ubel (He/It), Fox (She/It), Ferdinand (He/him), Autumn (She/Her), Randy (He/They), Mariana (She/Her), Stanford (He/Him), Ezra (She/Her) and many more.

[HELLBREAKER] {Very much still a work in progress. This one is more of an ambition project so I don't wanna share too much, but basically: It's set in hell and the protagonist Really Has To Escape. Kinda like OFF if it was made by a guy who's fascinated with religion purely aesthetically.}

☆ Maria (She/Her) is the protagonist, and she just went to hell babyyy. Well, not technically: She lands in purgatory, and is given the choice to either do her time in there or to traverse through all the layers of the underworld in order to ascend to Heaven. And based on the name of this project you can guess which she chose.

And the other characters, The Sins, Lucifer, and the many characters you find along your journey to help you !

Essential Avengers: West Coast Avengers #21: Lost in Space-Time, Part 5: TIME FOR EVERY PURPOSE UNDER HEAVEN!

June, 1987

Add two more to the roster!

Doctor PYM

MOON KNIGHT

Are the West Coast Avengers going to be rescued this issue? How are they going to add two present day dudes to the team if they’re trapped in Ancient Egypt?

Hank looks silly being grimly determined in his normal ass clothes next to Moon Knight who’s swinging around in costume.

But why should trenchcoat dudes and shirt dudes get to be the only plainclothes superheroes?

Granted, a labcoat is basically a trenchcoat for a science hero versus a magic or detective guy.

So you do you, Hank. But god help you if you become as much of a disaster as Constantine ‘Oops I destroyed the future out of spite ha ha’ Johnington.

My last thought about two more to the roster cover is: really roster of seven and only two women? We can do better than that in the year of 1987.

Okay, I’m done.

Now for last times on West Coast Avengers: a lot. A lot is happening and keeps happening and will have happened and happens.

While looking to recruit Firebird (now La Espirita), the West Coast Avengers were tricked by an enemy named Dominus and sent to cowboy times with a time machine that only goes backwards in time.

After some cowboy adventures, the WCA decided that their best bet for getting back to the present was to visit Ancient Egypt and Hawkeye’s old acquaintance Nice Rama-Tut. But when they arrive in his time, Nice Rama-Tut is very sleepy and suggests that they go talk to him earlier in his timeline when he was Mean Rama-Tut. When the Avengers WC do go to Mean Rama-Tut’s time, he immediately shoots them.

While in cowboy times, Mockingbird caught the attention of Ghost/Phantom Rider who decided that he should drug her and make her love him. Its all kinds of gross but now Mockingbird thinks Ghost Rider is her true love and doesn’t remember Hawkeye. Other cowboys Two-Gun Kid and Rawhide Kid are trying to track down Ghost Rider and rescue Mockingbird.

While in 1776, the West Coast Avengers met Carlotta Valdez and Hawkeye gave her a message to pass down and eventually ask Firebird to contact the Fantastic Four. But Carlotta died in a shootout. And yet this plot thread is still going on.

Meanwhile, in the present times, La Espirita stopped Hank Pym from committing suicide and has been helping him get his groove back by having him explain his entire scientific career to her.

THERES SO MUCH PLOT HAPPENING

PLEASE STOP SPINNING OFF MORE PLOT THREADS, ENGLEHART

Anyway. Mean Rama-Tut (henceforth just Rama-Tut) shot the West Coast Avengers minus Mockingbird (because she’s not present) when they arrived in Ancienter Egypt 2940 BC.

Whats weird is when he rants over their collapsed forms.

It’s not the ranting that’s weird, obviously. We’re talking a kind of Kang here. Its the content of the rant.

He acts like they’re just stupid locals rebelling against his rule. Which. I mean. They don’t look like Ancient Egyptians. Even given that the exact ethnic makeup of Ancient Egypt is debated, I don’t think the populace tended to wear full suits of armor. Because of the heat.

Rama-Tut rant/recaps his backstory. About how he’s from the year 3000 AD (or CE I guess) which was a glorious boring age of enlightenment where there was nothing fun to do for a guy who wanted action and adventure.

He spent his time watching old, futuristic film reels on his big screen of superheroes doing superhero stuff.

In another world, Kang may have become a guy like Booster Gold. He admired the action adventure of past heroes a lot so I can see a situation where he arrived in the year Whatever the Sliding Timescale Says Now not to fight the Avengers but to fight alongside them.

There’s probably a What If in that but I don’t think anyone has done it.

Anyway, his desire for action-adventure content led him to the ruins of a castle (Doom’s) where Pre-Kang found plans for a time machine the likes of which even the Super Cool Year 3000 never built.

So Pre-Kang built a time machine in the shape of a Sphinx because he wanted to go back to Ancient Egypt and arriving in a Sphinx probably would play to their superstitions.

Why did he go to Ancient Egypt if he had a big thing for superhero action?

Shut up. How about that?

I mean. There’s a hint. He exposits that the six thousand year time difference between 3000 BC and 3000 AD gives him an edge against any foe.

So I guess early-pre-Kang didn’t want a challenge. He wanted easy fights.

Its amazing that Kang actually became less shitty as he grew up, in like this one narrow regard.

Anyway, Rama-Tut calls for his guards and tells them to take the dumb rebels (actually the West Coast Avengers) to one of the temples of the discredited gods and make those stupid out of work priests bury them.

(The guards also don’t seem to notice anything worth commenting about how the Avengers look or dress so... something’s up.)

So, yeah, Rama-Tut has banned all worship apparently aside from Rama-Tut worship? But he left the temples alone and priests unmurdered so he’s less worse than some.

Also: the gun that Rama-Tut shot the West Coast Avengers with didn’t kill them or even knock them out.

It’s an ultra-diode ray that saps strength but leaves people conscious.

So they can be buried alive??

Funny bit: while the West Coast Avengers have varying reactions to being immobilized but aware (except Hawkeye who just feverishly babbles “Bobbi” to himself) Wonder Man’s takes the cake.

Wonder Man: My power’s gone! Can’t move a muscle! It’s like -- when I was dead! But there’s no panic any more! I’ve made it, all the way back from the darkness! Even now I’m a star!

Leave it to specifically this era of Wonder Man to go ‘oh cool i’m not afraid of death anymore, because i’m in movies’

Anyway, the guards drag the ultra-diode’d Avengers to the temple/tomb of Khonshu and tell the priests to handle the bodies.

The priests... do not do this, instead reverently bowing and leaving the immobilized heroes in front of a statue of Khonshu, god of the MOOON.

And then Hawkeye dies.

Welp.

I assume so anyway.

Because the next scene (1876 on the Arizona/New Mexico border) features Ghost/Phantom Rider and Mockingbird just finished beating up some outlaws when suddenly Mockingbird has a chill run through her “as if everything I loved in the world has died -- !”

Quick question: It happened thousands of years ago. Why do you only now feel it? How does the ominous premonition know when to go off?

Nitpickery aside, Ghost Rider thinks thats a strange thing for Mockingbobbi to say when he’s right in front of her clearly alive but he offers to help warm her up, which she recoils from.

She tells him she needs some alone time and rides off.

Ghost Rider wonders what that’s all about but decides to let her have her alone time.

Unbeknowst to Mockingbird or Ghost Rider, Two-Gun Kid and Rawhide Kid have managed to track the two down despite the slip they were given in the earlier issue.

ALSO: Two-Gun Kid had the same chill go through him as Mockingbird.

Which, remember, she described “as if everything I loved in the world has died -- !”

Nobody else in this issue gets this feeling. Just Mockingbird and Two-Gun Kid.

His wife and his cowboy best pal.

Possibly his cowboy boyfriend? They spent a lot of time together in the past and in the present and they were awfully close in this arc.

But it took decades for Marvel to admit Rachael Summers was queer. They’re never going to give Hawkeye an explicit cowboy boyfriend.

Over in 1776, remember how the Carlotta Valdez plot thread seems to be continuing despite her being dead?

So at the funeral, out of sorrow of Carlotta dying pointlessly, her aunt cancels the trip to California and decides to move back to Mexico. The priest that was her chaperone in the carriage is also traveling back to Mexico so he decides to go with the aunt.

ALSO he decides he has dibs on Carlotta’s Bible.

He can just decide this.

The aunt decides that this is what Carlotta would have wanted (I doubt it, personally...) but I guess this plot thread is continuing because we need to know about how the Family Bible is going to wind up back in family hands so La Espirita can have it and not notice that message from Hawkeye that Carlotta was supposed to entrust to her descendants.

Anyway, in 1847 in Corazon, Mexico...

An Isabel Ramirez comes to the church to pray because times are baaad. There was a war with the US and there’s poverty and well things are just baaaad.

The priest tells her to go ahead and pray but no touching the Bible, which is clearly way too holy for peasants to touch.

Isabel: “But, padre -- my mother says our family helped found this mission! She says the Bible once belonged to my great-aunt -- and -- and more than that, I love all that is holy! I would be a priest myself -- if only I could!”

The priest: “Ha ha ha! The fantasies of women!”

Cool, I hate him.

I sure hope he gets robbed of something.

Lotta nerve to tell  a girl she’s not cool enough to touch her own family’s heirloom.

It probably goes to show something something organized religion something.

But anyway, as soon as the priest walks off, Isabel decides that she’s totally going to touch the forbidden Bible.

The note Hawkeye wrote falls out of the Bible. I don’t know if she can read English but she grasps that its a note from a man in the past to the future.

And seeing a message sent through centuries just totally blows her mind with the vastness of the universe, a grand epiphany that brings clarity to Isabel.

She’s going to steal back the ol’ family Bible!

And sure, she’s the likeliest suspect but she’ll hide it where NONE WILL EVER SUSPECT!

THE PERFECT CRIME!

THANKS GOD AND OR THE UNIVERSE!

This is a fun story, at times.

Anyway, speaking of god and or the universe, Hawkeye meets Khonshu.

Man, Khonshu has so many moons.

But I do prefer his bird skull aspect to Moon Knight But Fancier.

Khonshu explains that the reason why Rama-Tut mistook the Avengers for just random Egyptians was because Khonshu used hypnotic moon powers to hide the Avengers’ identities from the pharaoh.

Not out of the goodness of his heart or lack of heart or whatever his organ sitch is. He wants to make a deal.

Rama-Tut is a future superbeing and so are the Avengers. And Hawkeye is the leader of this group of future superbeings.

So Khonshu will heal (or resurrect? It’s unclear) Hawkeye if Hawkeye will lead the Avengers against Rama-Tut.

And Hawkeye was going to do that anyway sooooo...... might as well see what else he can get for it.

So Hawkeye will get the West Coast Avengers to fight Rama-Tut IF Khonshu sends the Avengers back to their own time afterward.

Khonshu points out that he’s the god of the Moon, not of time. Although, I’d personally argue that a moon god would fit nicely as a time god. Because of the mostly reliable phases of the Moon. Like clockwork.

But what I would argue doesn’t matter. It’s not something Khonshu can Khonshdo.

Khonshu: “I lack the power to do as you ask! I am the god of the Moon -- I work in subtlety and shadow!”

Hawkeye: “Well... then send a subtle message to friends of ours in the future -- to come and get us with some other friends’ time machine!”

Khonshu: “Done!”

That easy, apparently.

Although, he’s got nearly five thousand years to work in.

Anyway.

Speaking of nearly five thousand years, nearly five thousand years later in 1876, Mockingbird.

Remember how she was had felt a chilling premonition that everything she loved in the world died?

Well, as she’s contemplating that inkjet arrowhead she decided to wear as a good luck charm, she suddenly has the opposite premonition and the opposite temperature.

A surge of warmth that means something good happened.

How vague.

And yet how, once again, oddly linked to time progressing for all the characters like they’re in the same year.

Anyway.

Palette Swap Hawkeye attacks Mockingbird.

Okay, its not Bootleg Hawkeye, it’s Two-Gun Kid.

He did his best, given the limits of the time and place, and blue is his best.

Either way, he’s going to try to spark Mockingbobbi’s memory of who she really is. Mostly by attacking her with archery and calling her Bobbi Barton.

Two-Gun isn’t super great at archery, which maybe helps. Because Mockingbird recognizes on some level that he sucks at it, which means she has opinions about good archery.

Also, she’s not fighting her best. Her reflexes are slow and all.

Two-Gun speculates that even if she doesn’t recognize that he’s supposed to be dressed as Player 2 Hawkeye consciously, she recognizes its subconsciously.

And he recognizes the inkjet arrowhead as one of Hawkeye’s specialty arrows.

So when he manages to pin her to a tree with arrows through her enormous sleeves (due to the aforementioned not fighting her best), he grabs the arrowhead and yells for her to tell him whose thingy it is.

Mockingbird: “... Hawkeye... Cint! I remember now! We were leaving, and the spook-man hit me, and he gave me some drug -- and made me love him! I’ll KILL him!”

So mission success in terms of getting her to remember but the now murderous rage isn’t ideal, since Two-Gun and Rawhide Kids want to bring him in for JUSTICE.

And she doesn’t say she’s not going to kill him.

She does ask where the Avengers are and Two-Gun says they’re probably still in Ancient Egypt.

Or however time works.

So Mockingbird declares that until Clint/the Avengers make their way back to the more recent past, she’ll occupy herself with making Ghost/Phantom Rider “a real spook!”

Meanwhile? Or. Whatever.

Back in 2940 BC, the ultra-diode finally wears off and the West Coast Avengers can move about again.

And bonus! Hawkeye regains consciousness! Also his burns are healed! Without any sign!

The power of a good rest is amazing!

While the Avengers marvel over his recovery, Hawkeye just mosies up to the statue of Khonshu and thanks him.

Then the priests show back up (calling Hawkeye “beloved of Khonshu” while really confuses everyone else) and offer to take the Avengers to a secret tunnel they’ve been digging which leads right to the Sphinx of Rama-Tut.

As the Avengers head after the priests, Hawkeye suggests that he and Wonder Man should have a long talk about being dead.

So, yeah, I think Hawkeye died. Khonshu resurrected him. And now Hawkeye is going to try to get coping advice from Wonder Man.

Anyway.

THE PRESENT, as of when the comic was published, YEAR OF 1987, NEW YORK CITY

Moon Knight sees some art thieves and thwarts them.

My goodness.

The random bullshit meme panels in their original context.

This is a treat.

After knocking everyone out with random bullshit, Moon Knight has a PSA for these unconscious art thieves.

Moon Knight: “Art and music are man’s highest expressions, alive throughout eternity! Such masterpieces aren’t meant for petty theft!"

But then Moon Knight has a vision of Khonshu and his many moons and contacts his pilot Frenchy to get a ride to California.

Ha. So that’s how Khonshu is passing Hawkeye’s message to the future. Uh. Very indirectly. Instead of just sending Moon Knight to the Fantastic Four (who in fairness probably have little reason to listen to him, fair point Khonshu), he’s sending him to talk to Hank and La Espirita.

Speaking of the two, Hank has finished inventing a new thing.

He invented a talking flying car shaped like an ant head!

And - learning the lesson from Ultron being too smart - this flying ant head is only about as smart as a dog and is about as enthusiastically loyal as one.

Hence why he’s named it Rover.

It’s pretty cool.

AND THATS NOT ALL

Because of La Espirita forcing him to recap his entire professional career, Hank has come to a realization. He can’t be Ant-Man or Giant-Man again because his body can’t stand the strain of size changing.

(Because he’s not cool like Wasp.)

But his body naturally produces Pym Particles, hence why he didn’t need the pills or gas anymore to size-change back when he could size-change. And why he could change the size of his costume and equipment.

So what if only change size of equipment?

So he built a bunch of cool stuff and then shrank them so he can carry around a Batman’s worth of random gear and just grow it as needed.

He’s invented a reasonable alternative to hammerspace!

This is also pretty cool.

Hank even designed some of the random bullshit to be useful both full sized or shrunken. Like a flying camera drone, that can be a flying minicam for trailing people.

La Espirita: “It sounds perfect, Hank! You’ve taken the parts of your past that worked, jettisoned the parts that didn’t, and built yourself a future! Have you picked out a new name to go with it?”

Doctor Pym, Action Scientist: “I don’t want a new name -- not after having four already! No, you taught me to be what I am, Bonita -- so from this day forward, as an adventurer or an everyday guy, I am -- Doctor Pym!”

Hank also mentions he’s not going to wear a costume -- and throws in a barb at Wonder Man, pointing out that his new costume is horrible.

He speaks the truth and I’m glad someone finally had the strength to do so.

Anyway, despite no codename and no costume, Hank is ready to get back into the game and plans to ask to be an Avenger again once the others get back.

Bonita is thrilled for Hank, saying that she’s glad to have helped him because “that’s what Christian fellowship is all about!”

And then Hank gets all awkward.

Because. Well. She’s been paying a lot of attention to him and listening to him talk about himself for several days now.

He just sorta assumed she had romantic interest in him.

IN THE WAY THAT PEOPLE SOMETIMES ASSUME.

Of course, once he broaches the topic, she’s also happy to start making out with him.

So. Uh. This happened.

I can’t tell if she’s actually been romantically interested in him or whether she just thought ‘eh, worth a try’ when he brings it up.

This relationship isn’t going to last long so yeah I do think she’s just rolling with the assumption he’s making.

'I’m not morally opposed to making out, so lets do that.’ sort of thing.

Anyway, Dominus shows up again in this story.

Remember Dominus?

Lucifer’s colleague who created a rock woman named Butte? Sent the Avengers back in time? Technically the arc villain but hasn’t done much more than be an inciting incident?

Well, the issue ends with him moodily sitting on his comfortable villain chair pondering whether there’s anything he forgot in terms of stranding the Avengers in the past forever

And the answer is probably yes, considering the message that Hawkeye wrote asking for La Espirita to get the Fantastic Four to come pick them up in their functioning time machine.

I mean, that’s probably it, right?

Follow @essential-avengers​ because for reasons. Reasons of your own. Like and reblog for reasons of my own.

hii i know this is random but bear with me. ive never read the vampire academy books but i have seen the movie for the first time last week and ive been like COMPLETELY insane about it ever since. the absolute craziness of psychosexual obsessive girlbestfriendism has captivated me and now i live breathe eat roselissa. spent a lot. of time on vampire academy wiki...thinking abt reading the books even but that seems a little excessive plus i dont wanna read about rose dimitri relationship i dont condone it. BUT i am getting desperate ive seen bad fanart on pinterest ive even venturend into some bad fanfic territory theres nothing in the roselissa tumblr tag and your blog is the only light in the darkness. im so obsessed with them its really bad. NOBODY does it like them theyre so insane. okay so-> i was thinking you could use this ask to dump some roselissa opinions/headcannons/notes app essays etc or like literally anything🙏. also sorreee for how long it is & thank you & also should i watch the show? ok ok have a nice day byeeeee❤️

i am so fucking glad that it's 2023 and people are still watching this stupid perfect lesbian camp masterpiece of a film. okay first of all you are soooo real not wanting to read the books because of fuck ass dimitri like what a pathetic flop. *i* love the books like i would love my own children but keep in mind i did read them for the first time as a 12yr old and even now when i reread it's mostly to warmup before rereading bloodlines which i think is the most perfect magical romantic series ever written. heterosexuals won that round.

anyway i think everyone in the world should watch the show it's so much fun and the roselissa necromancy reveal goes soooooooo crazy like it's gay excellence. also a) australian rose hathaway is INSPIRED, b) the rose/dimitri of it all pisses me off significantly less in the show purely because he's like. not even a teacher he's just lurking and hanging around and i find that very funny. no friends no job he's just like me fr, and c) lissa wears funky little hats and that's so special to me she is my baby girl princess sweetie pie forever and ever and ever

okay moving onto actually talking about roselissa it is first of all very important to me that you know the 3rd book opens with rose inside lissa's head during a lissa/christian sex scene and she's very much like "i don't want to have sex with lissa..... BUT-" and it sends me every time especially because that was actually the first book i read so my literal introduction to this series was rose being weird and psychosexual about lissa which kind of coloured my view of them forever. roselissa above everything of course but i AM a roselissachristian throuple truther i think they're very fun and rose and christian best friendisms are very dear to me.

i do keep a running list in my notes app of songs that i would put on a roselissa playlist (like an insane person.) and the #1 entry is mitski's i don't smoke because well literally if you need to be mean be mean to me i can take it and put it inside of me..... that's literally their whole entire thing for a while there like rose spending an entire book like. siphoning off lissa's mental illness and making it her own SOUNDS like a joke but no it's #real and #devastating. bonus i also have a list of lissa songs which is topped by BRUTAL by olivia rodrigo because nobody has ever suffered the pains of being a teenage girl more than my perfect bisexual vampire princess.

my post-series thoughts /headcanons are often pretty depressing on the roselissa front but i don't want to get into depressing shit so i will instead talk about my current favourite idea which is that after they break their bond at the end of the series. you'd think they'd start being normal about each other. but NO they get even more freaky and codependent. i like to picture people coming to court and just sighing when they see them sitting in each other's laps on lissa's throne like not AGAIN. and dimitri idk dies in a fire or something. idk if you've ever seen grey's anatomy but there's this bit where a guy is like "my wife and her friend have sleepovers together in our bed with me in it" and TO ME that is soooo roselissachristian core. he's THEIR third wheel and he knows it.

also sidebar it pisses me off SOOOOOO bad seeing how people on the internet so fundamentally misunderstand lissa and her relationship to rose like for literal years now like they're always out here calling my girl self-centred and saying she doesn't love rose as much as rose loves her which is crazy because hello she brought rose back from the DEAD with her mind powers. her whole flop family was dead in that car and she brought back her girl best friend like what more can you even say about that. she's gay and she's insane and she's so completely Not Normal about rose

HELLO, HI, HOW ARE YOU- I COME HERE WITH NEWS ABOUT HOW I ALMOST WENT APE SHIT FIVE ON THE FIRST DAY OF THE SEMESTER-

1) Okay so we have the same professor teaching us THREE WHOLE COURSES

2)SHE DOESN'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT THE OTHER TWO

3)THEN SHE SAYS 'WE'LL ALL WORK TOGETHER' -LIKE NO WE AINT GONNA DO SHIT PLZ

4)SHE'S NEW- so while taking introductions she spent 10 min on EACH student, CRUSHING THEIR CONFIDENCE (minD YOU A GROWN ASS WOMAN TREATS GROWN ASS STUDENTS AS KIDS)

5) THE BEST PART IS - EVEN THOUGH EVERY FUCKING THING IS SUPPOSED to be IN ENGLISH- THIS WOMAN; USES JARGON OF LITERATURE FROM OUR national language - LIKE WHY? THIS AINT THE FUCKING 15OO'S , SPEAK IN NORMAL THANK YOU MucH VERy.

PS i was supposed to be Unhinged like Klaus this sem- I've become S2 Five.

This wonderful set of gifs (that i've reblogged too) is a visual representation- IN ANY ORDER THIS IS WHAT IT FELT LIKE - OH FUCK ITS ONLY TUESDAY MY GOD.

Thank you, have a lovely evening/morning/afternoon❤️❣️🥺🌼

OH MY POOR DEAR FRIEND, WHAT HELL DID THIS BITCH COME FROM BECAUSE SURELY IT ISNT THE ONE WHERE REGGIE AND HITLER ARE PLAYING TENNIS

i feel so bad for you and trust me i feel the exact same way for two, now three years. 😭😭 we’ll be going ape shit five together i swear bc i have THE EXACT SAME PROBLEM WITH MY SERBIAN AND GEOGRAPHY TEACHERS LIKE TF IS GOING ON WITH THE WORLD ANYMORE

i start my very last year of middle school on 1st of September, and probably the only motivations that will keep me going are congratulating people on their birthdays. thats it. also tua serotonin. and you. thats it.

THAT SET OF GIFS IS HOW IVE BEEN FEELING FOR THE PAST 2 YEARS OF MY SCHOOL LIFE LIKE PLS JUST HELP ME GOD OR WHOEVER TF MANAGES THIS BS TO MAKE MY LIFE BETTER

im supposed to be allison this year. i can already feel my inner five pushing her aside and being like “let me handle this” and proceeds to make me go on a yelling spree at everyone who irritates me

I love you sm my dear friend, please do keep me updated on your well being and day! I gotta hear from you now bc that lady is outta her mind and I cant lose you to her 😭😭😭😭😭 WE GOTTA MAKE IT OUT ALIVE UNTIL THERES A PORTAL TO THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY, YOU CANT DIE ON ME YET

when i was a minor the internet was still new enough that it was hard to find specific things

and also it was early enough in Web Existence that i was 100% certain id be hacked or get a virus if i clicked the wrong search result

(also for a lot of it my parents could see what i searched/looked at bc i was dumb and didnt know abt history so i was real careful abt what i typed too)

so imagine how i feel in 2023 as an adult reading ripped scanlations of any yaoi manga i please on a seedy website that didnt exist in My Yaoi Era and seeing just. countless blatant and even self confessed minors in the comments making thirsty statements about dicks and smut and talking about the actually vile Bad ones they read when they were 12 (2 years ago) etc etc

its. horrifying. not only bc theres people with literally "so what im 14 f**k off haters" as a signature talking about how badly they want a giant cock to ride (and no this is not a site where meeting/messaging/talking to people is a thing so i do NOT think its posing pedos at all) but because i know for a fact that if i was their age during this era i would be right there with them. except for the wanting cock thing tbh i was always more into the romance--coming to terms with gay feelings stories hit hard for my confused budding bisexual kid ass. but i would still be one of those, actual children, happily consuming explicit adult content thinking im so mature for my age and getting all sorts of wrong ideas about what is and is not okay in a relationship or just life

like at least i was limited to what was offered on the shelves at barnes & noble and suncoast (and atomic comics, RIP). Stuff officially translated by US companies and stocked in normal bookstores in the 2000's tended not to even show censored wieners, it was all cut off or hidden by spans of magical fuzz or what have u. and even if i wanted more, i wasnt sure how to find it online and if i DID find it i was fairly certain it would break the computer and get my ass in huge trouble

youre not mature for your age, i promise. youre just fucking up your own brain before its fully developed because much as kids SAY they can separate fiction from reality... youre not so good at it. you dont recognize which parts are the fanstasy and which parts are not in these placed-in-the-real-world romance and smut stories. you see obvious manipulation like romantic interest telling main guy not to hang out with other guys bc he gets mad when hes jealous and call red flag but then post heart eyes when its subtle because ohh thats just loyalty thats just love, minor obsession IS romance and the best-friend side character that keeps trying to help their main character friend recognize the toxicity is just annoying

like yall dont even know what youre saying its killing me inside

i hope you dont make the same idiot mistakes and allow the same shitty things as i did in my early romantic endeavors. i hope you come to understand what real love looks like sooner than i did even while having been exposed to so much less. god, i hope.

im boutta load up bg3 but first i gotta get some thoughts abt my tavs backstory out lmao

as you may know my tavs name is astyr and hes based on the oc thats my minecraft skin, so cuz of that i gave him the outlander background. but ofc the game offers you dialogue choices based on being baldurian and i have selected some of them SO im gonna say his parents were those off the grid, isolationist types. didnt trust other people, hated towns and cities. for the first few years of his life he was raised out in the wilds, only taught what was necessary for survival, hunting and fishing for food, building tools and shelter from scratch. but, he was always a curious kid, and even tho his parents forbade him from approaching other people, he would occasionally see travelers or adventuring parties down by the river he liked to fish at

astyr overheard a LOT of these people talking abt baldurs gate, which ofc piqued his curiosity, and eventually while tryna eavesdrop on an interesting conversation abt magic and sorcery vs. wizardry, he got spotted. now obviously this was a dirty, ratty little feral tiefling kid, so they assumed hed been abandoned and offered to bring him back to the city. and, well, these people were nice, and his parents were mean, and he wanted to know more abt the city but he could never find out how to get there, so he agreed

im thinkin that these adventurers ask his name, and he has no idea what a name even is, and these people are devastated. how long has this kid been out here??? and then he says his parents always called him "you" or "child" or "boy," are those names? and these adventurers are like "what the fuck??? kid are you okay???"

ANYWAY astyr is brought to baldurs gate and set up at an orphanage or smth (im not that far into the game idk if theres actually an orphanage or anythin actually in baldurs gate) and holy shit, this kid now has access to books. this kid learns fast, and as soon as he grasps the basics of reading hes basically teaching himself. its around this time he also discovers hes a sorcerer, and has a propensity for thunder/lightning magic, and starts teaching himself how to be a storm sorcerer! and also picks out a name for himself. he just thought it sounded nice

he eventually leaves the orphanage or wherever he was brought to and starts just livin out on the streets of baldurs gate, sneaking into school classrooms to learn whatever he can whenever he can and spending most of his time in libraries and whatnot, while slipping back out into the wilds to hunt for his own food and spending most nights sleeping in trees. hes just out here bein a forest cryptid and masquerading as a normal lower city kid, and by the time hes in his late teens its only partially acting. hes like a weird mix of feral wild-man and street-smart urchin, and is all the while honing his magic. and lemme tell ya hes a damn good sorcerer. hes not famous or well known, hell, basically only other ppl living on the streets know who he is, but he ended up being the go-to guy for magic stuff if you have no way to pay. just give him smth to eat or a potion or smth and hes down to do whatever

ALSO cuz hes a tiefling he obvs faced all the discrimination that tieflings face, so most of his social interaction was with other tieflings. hes pretty connected to tiefling customs, culture and history and takes pride in himself and his people

last thing, cuz he is p much a self insert, hes my age (24 almost 25) and this actually makes him one of, if not the youngest of the group? like, the only one i could see as being around that young as well would be shadowheart. maybe karlach too, depending on how young she was when she was sent to zariel, but i read her as being late 20s-early 30s anyway. so this rag tag group of adventurers on their way to save the world has inadvertently made the youngest member of their group the de facto leader. like ofc astyr is still a grown ass man but almost the entire rest of this group are in their mid-30s at the youngest, and yet this 25 year old is the one in charge while out adventuring. and while hes GOOD at it but he does still have his moments that remind the others that hes the youngest of them. idk i just find that whole dynamic interesting and kinda funny

...to get a bit angsty for a sec, one of these "he really is the youngest of us" moments was the reaction to kar'niss' pleading after astyr convinced him to walk into the shadows (based on my own negative reaction to that moment). that slightly smug smirk of satisfaction from outsmarting and avoiding a fight drops from his face in a second, ears lowering and tail freezing, and for the first time since the companions met him, astyr pales. he seems to snap out of his funk when the harpers speak to them again, and he goes onwards like everything is normal, but his tail still isnt moving. normally, it sways when he walks, flicks like a cats when hes content, idly wraps around the ankles of whoever hes standing closest to, but no, its just been dragging limply behind him ever since. and sometimes, in the silence and the darkness, he gulps, and shivers, and if theyre listening carefully, his breaths shake. and while he talked the toll keeper into killing herself with no problem, when the party was on the roof and spotted the drider and his caravan again, now shadow creatures, they all saw him freeze for a moment, but only astarion, who was stood in front of him to shoot the creatures all down from the edge of the rooftop, saw the shine of welling tears, the obvious signs of reliving that memory, in his eyes

Sister Problems

Gif credit @maurawrites.

Requested on wattpad.

Hope you all enjoy. First Paul fic.

"You're an absolute idiot". Bella scoffed, as Paul grabbed a freshly made muffin and crammed it into his mouth with a laugh. "Have some class".

"What is your problem"? You huffed, wrapping your arm around Paul's naked chest. This was the scene everytime you three or even the whole pack got together. Bella having a problem with Paul.

"He's being disgusting. Animal". She rolled her eyes, and put a crumb size bite in her mouth.

"I am an animal. That's what wolves are". Paul whispered. Getting a laugh from the others.

"I see you haven't house trained him yet. Does he still piss in the tub"?

"Alright, that's it. Get the hell up". You motioned for her to get up and get outside.

"Oooh, cat fight". You heard Seth say.

"I'm eating". She blankly stared at you.

"Get out now". You gritted your teeth. This was the last straw.

"Fine". She sighed and crept outside.

"I'll be back". You kissed Paul's head and put another muffin in front of him.

"She's going to kill Bella, you do know that"? Sam came around the to the front door.

"Yeah. I'll stop it if it gets out of hand. She'll be alright".

"What is your deal with Paul? Has he done something to make you this much of a bitch or is this the new vampire Bella thing"? You asked, with your hands crossed over your chest.

"He's a dick. Treats people like crap. Then you decide to date him. Are you punishing me"? Bella whined.

"Punishing you? Is it always about you Bella? Can no one else have a life. God forbid that I get a boyfriend. Paul treats me wonderfully. Also he treats people how they treat him". You eyed her, trying to give her a clue.

"I just dont see why you cant date a normal guy"?

"I dont see why you cant mind your own business and be happy for me. But I forgot, its all about Bella. I think you should leave and not come back".

Bella's jaw dropped. "You're not serious? I'm your sister".

"Then start acting like it and not some whiny ass baby. The world doesnt revolve around you. Theres other people here as well". You shake your head and look at her with a disappointing look. Then head inside, leaving her just as the rain started.

"You okay"? Paul asked, wrapping his warm body around you. Getting you nice and toasty.

"Yeah, I'm good. She just has to know that I'm not going to baby her anymore. She needs to grow up and deal with the fact people grow up and move on with their lives". You turn around in Paul's arms, facing him. "I love you". You pecked his lips and hugged him.

"I love you too". He smiled as he gave you a tight squeeze. Paul watched Bella start walking home. Maybe she would change after her big sister told her like it was.

Summertime, And The Livin’s Easy- a black sails fic prompt fill

this became incredibly long so instead of just posting it with the ask i’ve made it’s own post 

@themelonface​ asks- For the fic prompts (if you're still taking them), silverflint talking about children. Can be AU, can be set during or after canon. I just have a feeling Miranda never wanted any, Thomas was too wrapped up in the fight for equality to need anything more than cats, but maybe James would have wanted kids in another life.

HERE MY DARLING HAVE THE FIRST OF hopefully TWO PROMPT FILLS because i want to write a post canon ficlet for this ask as well. 

but for now have modern au silverflint (and hamilton at the end) and the discussion of children 💕

cw for mentions of child abuse and shitastic fathers!!! but theres nothing graphic mentioned or shown. 

***

It was the hazy space between what would have been brunch on a weekend and the corporate lunch time rush and the start of cocktail hour on every other day when half the bars in Brooklyn Heights hadn’t actually opened their doors yet and those that had were serving sandwiches and day drinking friendly cocktails.

 The Walrus was one of the latter.

Silver slid off his bar stool as the last member of the aforementioned lunch rush stepped out the door and leaned against the polished bar top with a bright grin. “How you holding up, honey?” Muldoon rolled his eyes. “Please, a corpse could make an aperol spritz.” “I doubt a corpse could make that many of them that quickly.” “Flattery might work on other men,” Muldoon said, as he always did, with a wag of his tattooed finger and a smile fighting to show on his face. “But it will not work on me.” “Are you sure? Cause you were pretty sexy with those martinis. Remind me why its always vodka?” “Your boyfriend has told you that a dozen times already, I know it for a fact, you shit.” “Okay but maybe I wanna hear you explain it. Again,” Silver said, propping his chin on his hands and putting on his best Cheshire smile, throwing in a slight batting of the lashes just for Muldoon’s sake. They played this game every time Silver wasted away a few hours at the bar, which he was starting to do more and more often. He’d joke with Flint that it was only out of boredom, but in truth, he felt safe there, nestled in the corner with his laptop or acting as an honorary member of the staff when they needed some help. He didn’t want to dwell too much on it, on why he felt so safe there or why after so many years he was once again feeling so painfully devoted to the same group of men who’d despite everything, seen him through hell. Muldoon sighed, his hands making quick work of filling the high powered steam dishwasher under the counter. He pushed it closed with his hip and looked up at Silver, finally cracking a smile. “Do you want to help me run bar for a bit, love? While it’s quiet?”

Silver was behind the bar before Muldoon could even consider changing his mind. He did pause to duck into the kitchen quickly, where the two line cooks- Randal and Dooley- were working on their mise en place and Vane was wedged into the alley doorway with a cigarette in his mouth, recovering from the lunch rush. His long hair was carefully tied up in a braided bun and covered in a bandanna, ears lined as always with half a dozen hoops a piece. “Why do you look like you just ate a canary?” Vane asked around his smoke. “No reason. Where’s the Captain?” Vane nodded to the walk in pantry where Flint was likely checking stock counts, “he’s in a mood again.” “When isn’t he? When he’s done tell him to come up to the bar I’ve got a surprise,” Silver said, still wearing that grin, and Vane laughed with a nod, going back to watching the alley behind the bar. “Alright come on you flirt-” Muldoon called, and Silver quickly washed his hands and snagged one of the spare aprons Hal kept behind the bar. It wasn’t like he didn’t know how to make a cocktail, he played bartender for house parties all the time. But there was something different about learning to do it properly, from Muldoon who clearly took great pride in it, and in a place that was quickly becoming a second home to him. An hour in, and several successful cocktails later, Muldoon allowed Silver to help him actually fill orders for the few customers they got, though it wasn’t many. Flint still had not resurfaced from the kitchen, and so Silver kept his focus on the recipes Muldoon had him run through- proper martinis and Manhattans, Mojitos and mules, mezcal margs and all the things you could do with the collection of Amaros and aperitifs behind the bar. The customers were students on their way home from morning classes, morning shifters heading home or stopping for some food before the evening shift at their second job started, regulars who stopped in for lunch because no one made a cuban quite as well as their kitchen did.   And then the door chimed and Silver looked up with his customary smile and greeting ready, waiting to see where the guests might seat themselves- the host wouldn’t be in till four when the official dinner service started- and found himself staring at, well, children. Six of them, all too young to be in a bar unsupervised even before happy hour but probably even too young to be wandering around Brooklyn by themselves as it was. The older two definitely had the hardened older sibling with “semi absent if not entirely absent parents” look around them, Silver knew that look far too well, though whether the four younger kids were siblings or just under their care he couldn’t be sure. All of them were wearing some variation of public school uniform which Silver recognized from the public school a few blocks away. “Hey Nicki,” Muldoon said with a wave, and one of the older kids with short messy dark hair and equally dark eyes waved back. Silver looked at Muldoon quickly with raised brows. “Do me a favor go find Flint, okay? Tell him the kids are up front.” Silver just nodded, watching as Nicki and the other older kid shepherded the younger kids into the big corner booth closest to the bar without being told to, and slipped into the kitchen. Vane was at the prep table, knife in hand and making quick work of a cut of meat. He didn’t look up when he heard the door swing open but tilted his head expectantly. “Flint?” Sliver asked. “Smoke break, should be about done. Said he was coming up to see you in a minute.” Silver threw open the back alley door and there was Flint, propped up against the wall with a beaten up paperback on his knee and a forgotten cigarette in his hand. He looked up at him with a frown. “Hey whats wrong? You set the bar on fire with a flaming mojito or something?” he said, wearing a rare teasing smile. “Not yet but theres like, half a kindergarten class upfront.” Flint blinked, looked at his watch, and swore, “shit they must’ve let out early cause of the heat.” “Darling, what in the hell are you talking about.” Flint stubbed out the cigarette and tossed it in the ashtray by the door, kissing the top of Silver’s head as he passed. “I’ll explain in a minute- Vane! Leave the dinner service I need you on the meal kits with me-” “Already started on them,” Vane said, waving the knife idly as he portioned the meat into rather exact ready to cook portions. Flint nodded and washed his hands. “Dooley wheres those sandwiches I told you to fix-” “Here boss.” “Silver,” Flint loaded up six plates of sandwiches onto two serving trays and passed the lighter of the two to Silver. “Take one of these out with me ‘kay?” Silver nodded and balanced the tray on his shoulder, following Flint out of the kitchen. The bar was still mostly empty, Muldoon hanging out at the corner of the bar closest to the kids, making them each a Shirley Temple and passing Nicki a pitcher of water for them to share. Normally, Silver would’ve made some smart ass remark about how apparently it was normally for a bunch of kids to just turn up at the bar for lunch but something about this felt different and something in the set of Flint’s shoulders told him to stay quiet. “Let me guess the AirCon crap out again?” Flint asked upon reaching the table. “Or did one of you sabotage it to get out early?” The younger kids all started talking at once, bursts of loud excitement at seeing Flint, and the food, all wanting to explain why they had been let out of school a little bit early that day. Nicki and the other older kid, Sola, helped distribute the plates of food with smiles and nods of thanks while Flint listened intently to the kids’ rambling and incoherent explanations.   Once the young-ins were distracted by the sandwiches, Nicki offered a more coherent explanation. “Yeah they said the AC’s gonna be out till tomorrow with the heat, so they’re closing school till Monday,” he said. “Three day weekend I guess, without the extra homework since the teachers didn’t have time to prepare for any.” “Nice. Gonna meet your friends at the bridge park tomorrow? You mentioned wanting to get your kick flips more polished.” Nicki shook his head, looking bitter about it. “Can’t, busted up my front bearings and wheels on a ride home last week, won’t be able to afford to fix it for a bit. S’fine though, got chores to do.” Flint nodded, leaning back against the bar with his arms lazily crossed over his middle. “Do me a solid and bring the board by tomorrow okay? I think one of my guys might have some spare parts they’re not using.” Silver felt something in him break a little at the way the boy’s face lit up at Flint’s words. Or maybe it was at the ease with which Flint handled the kids, the openness he showed them, listening to how their days had gone, if only in brief, listening to their problems, which to them seemed world ending- Sola’s internet was out for the weekend, so she’d be at the library doing homework on Friday and probably most of the weekend when she wasn’t helping at her aunt’s salon, the little ones would all be shuttled to various relatives until Monday until they went back to school and Sola and Nicki, or another of the older kids in their building would take charge of them again. One of the younger kids was staring at Silver, her sandwich half held to her mouth. Just staring, bright brown eyes fixed on him in that quizzical way that children possessed that always made Silver feel transparent. Flint noticed and followed her gaze with an amused grin, waving for Silver to come over to join them instead of hiding behind the bar with Muldoon.  Silver looked at him wide eyed for a moment, then at the kids, specifically the little girl who was staring him down like a gunslinger, and then back at Flint, who just reached for him. Damn the bastard, he knew that was all it ever took. Silver came over and let Flint pull him in under his arm, feeling like a bug under the microscope in a science class he never attended but had heard about from other people. “You have pretty hair,” the little girl said. She was missing her two front teeth and Silver wanted to melt. “Thank you. You have big eyes.” “Yeah. They see a lot,” She said nodding solemnly. Silver could feel Flint shifting with the effort it took not to laugh. “They’re a pretty color. They remind me of this stone called tiger’s eye,” Silver continued. He could see Nicki giving Flint a look, though he didn’t know what Flint was doing in response. The little girl tilted her head. “Whats that?” So Silver pulled out his phone and showed her, which lead to a short lesson in gemstones that mostly amounted to excited cries of “oh shiny” and “I’d steal that one” which did Silver’s heart good. “This is Silver, a friend of mine who just moved back to town. He’s helping out round here. So he and I are gonna go fix your take away bags,” Flint said, once the momentary fascination in gemstones had faded and the kids were once again fixed on their plates. “Sola, you and Nicki just let Muldoon know if you guys need anything, or stick your head in the kitchen and yell okay? We’ll hear you. C’mon Silver.” If Silver had hoped for an explanation, he didn’t get one. Once he and Flint crossed the threshold back into the kitchen there was work to be done- Randal and Dooley handled the orders brought to them from the waitstaff while Flint and Vane, with Silver doing whatever Flint told him to, made quick work of assembling meal kit after meal kit from dishes both on and off the bar’s menu. Everything was boxed up and taped shut, paired with pre-typed instructions on how to cook the meals and how many servings each would make, and tucked into sturdy double layered brown bags that would hopefully survive a trip across the neighborhood. As they were finishing twenty minutes later, Hal’s voice could be heard through the window behind the bar, which answered Silver’s most pressing question- did he know that Flint was just running a school cafeteria out of the bar? Apparently yes, and apparently the kids were just as excited, if not more so, to see “Uncle” Hal. Because of course they called him Uncle Hal, why wouldn’t they. God, Silver was going to have to book a fucking dentist appointment for all the tooth rot the sweetness of this was giving him. He helped Flint carry out the bags of food, Vane insisting the kids would be too scared of him while Flint argued that Vane was just scared of the kids, and Silver watched as Hal and Flint got the bags labeled for each child and into a push cart that Sola promised to bring back the next day when she passed on her way to her Aunt’s salon. He then did his very best not to pass away on the spot as each kid, even Nicki and Sola, hugged Hal goodbye. Flint had crouched down to say good by to the little ones, accepting their clumsy hugs, reminding them to be careful walking home, and asking them to recite the bar’s phone number for him just in case (though Silver was sure they probably had cellphones, even if they were elementary schoolers), before he stood and gave Nicki and Sola each a one armed hug and watched them shepherd the group outside again. “Only group today?” Hal asked and Silver thought his voice sounded a bit heavy. “So far. Powers out at their school though, likely a couple others’ll come by later. Want me to call around to the other bars and see if they’ve heard anything?” “Yeah call the food bank and the closest shelter too for me, see if we can’t drop off our end of night supply to them this weekend.” Later, several more hours of food prep and three more groups of wary looking kids who all seemed completely unafraid of Flint and his crew, plus a Thursday night dinner rush, and Silver finally got his explanation. He also thought he should have gotten the nobel prize for being able to keep his mouth shut for as long as he did. “So are we gonna talk about it?” Flint was sitting on the floor in front of him, half asleep already between his thighs, as Silver combed his hair. They had taken home food from the bar and shared a six pack between them on the deck, Thomas held up at a Client dinner where he was no doubt being wined and dined and bored to absolute tears. They had treated themselves then to a hot bath, with the jets, and were now just wasting time with the kind of nonsexual intimacy that Silver had learned he craved with Flint, waiting for Thomas to join them so they could all manage a good nights sleep. “Talk about what?” Flint asked, his voice a heady rumble. “The kids. And why they knew to just wander into a bar on a Thursday,” Silver said, keeping his voice gentle. He coated his hands in more product and worked it into the shaved sides and back of Flint’s head, massaging his scalp as he went. “Why you and Hal and the rest of the crew seemed completely unphased by it.” Flint hummed lowly, nearly a purr as he leaned into Silver’s touch. They’d settled into the bedroom Thomas and Flint shared, like they did most nights since it had the nicest adjoining bathroom and all the obnoxiously nice hair and skin care products. Silver sat in the old plush armchair, bundled up in a robe while Flint, naked and content to air dry, leaned into him, a picture of ginger hair, rich freckles, and well loved tattoos on a soft strong figure. If Silver hadn’t been so distracted by the day, he’d have been more appreciative. “S’not that big a deal. Lots of families round here with young kids, can’t keep an eye on them between working two or three jobs, haven’t got money for babysitters or relatives to watch ‘em, or enough to cover food for the week, especially when the public schools can’t feed em. You start to notice which kids it is, when they pass by, which schools they go to, which blocks.” “In Brooklyn Heights?” “They don’t live in this neighborhood, Silver, you know that, not all of Brooklyn has been gentrified to shit by the developers. Hell walk a few blocks east towards the tech school and you’ll find a lot of them. Or south towards Bayridge. Anyway, the groups you met today are all right from Downtown Brooklyn, they go to school nearby you’ve seen them.” “Yeah I just… I dunno, you see so much of the multi-million dollar condos I guess you forget thats not all theres is.” “Nicki lives with his mom, his dad walked out and she’s working two jobs to keep the one bedroom they share over on Jay street. He’s only thirteen but he tried getting a job with me washing dishes last summer, I turned him down, sent him home with some food for his trouble,” Flint continued. Silver smiled, he could picture the scrappy dark haired boy trying to square up with Flint, trying to convince him he was old enough to legally work. “Let me guess he wasn’t the first.” “Won’t be the last either. If they aren’t working for the family to earn some extra money or to cut back on hiring expenses they’re looking for shifts somewhere to pick up the slack. They’re losing out on being kids all because the rent keeps going up and there ain’t shit else to do about it other than leave. And a lot of them can’t even afford to do that.” There was a familiar grit to Flint’s voice, the old bitter salt that meant someone had touched a nerve. It scared other people, but Silver knew it just meant Flint was, for the moment, being vulnerable with him. “Were you Nicki once? Trying to bully your way into work?” Silver asked softly. He reached for the comb again and sectioned off a part of Flint’s hair to start working with. Flint was quiet a moment. “Yeah. Yeah worked the docks a bit as a boy, most kids did it to earn pocket money or to help out with the bills.” “Which was it for you?” “Granddad only had his pension. And he spent that on booze. So whatever I earned at the docks helping the fishermen, or from pickpocketing, that was what bought food. Kept the lights on, shit like that. I told you once, that I met Henessy that way, picking his pocket.” Silver laughed softly. “I do remember. You technically succeeded, didn’t you?” “Mm, he only caught me cause someone snitched. Broke that fuckers nose real good I’ll tell you.” They were quiet for a moment, Silver combing Flint’s hair with impossible care, working his fingers through any knots he found, before following with product and conditioner, Flint grew heavier and heavier against him, warm and soft and his. “So you and Hal decided to do something, the way you always do?” Silver asked. “Hm? Oh yeah- city isn’t doin’ much, food banks and schools are already over run, and when school holidays hit, they can barely keep up demand for kids who need free meals. So we got a few other bars involved, met with some schools and the food banks and sent out some notices and just- started feeding people. I mean thats why Hal wanted to open the bar you know? You feed people and you give them everything. You feed them and they’ll do the rest. So thats what we did. In a week or two when the schools are out for the summer we’ll have a couple trucks that’ll make deliveries, so the kids don’t have to come to the bar.” Silver hummed and kissed his temple. “You’re sweet.” “Am not.” “You’ll let me help, right? Prep the meals and stuff?” Flint tipped his head back to look up at him. “You want to?” “Yeah. This altruistic thing is new to me, as is the cooking for fun thing but… it matters, to you, any idiot can see that. And I want to be part of it.” Silver smiled and leaned down to kiss him best he could. He could feel Flint smiling into the upside down kiss. “You’re really good with them too, you know, which please don’t take this the wrong way, I did not expect,” he added when he pulled back. “What with the kids?” “Yeah.” “Oh no offense taken I have no idea how it happened. They just aren’t afraid of me for some reason. I fully expected them to be, mind. I used to think I had the kind of face that would make babies and small children cry but apparently they just, I dunno, think I’m alright.” “They trust you, thats a big deal for kids. Especially ones who have clearly been let down by other adults. I mean you also talk to them like they’re just tiny adults which probably helps.” “They’re gonna be adults one day, might as well treat them with dignity well before they realize they should be fighting for it, you know?” Silver smiled softly, “Sometimes I don’t think you realize how magnificent you are, you bastard.” Flint didn’t say anything, just blindly reached for Sliver’s hands so he could pull him closer. So silver set aside the comb and rested his chin on the top of Flint’s head, wrapping his arms around him and holding tight to his weathered, tattooed hands. “You were good with them too, once you stopped being scared of them,” Flint offered. “Kids scare me, I’ve never spent enough time around them to learn how to make them happy. They’re so easy to hurt, so easy to damage. And extremely durable, extremely resilient but… I dunno… Just never trusted myself and never had the opportunity to do more than amuse them for a few minutes at a time before vanishing into thin air like Santa Claus.” “Well, you’ll have plenty of practice at the bar. I still think you were good with them. Little Sylvie likes you at least.” “Not as much as they love you.” Silver thought a moment. “Hey…” “Hm?” “Have… Have you and Thomas ever talked about kids?” It was a heavy question, one that might have been too much too soon and a part of Silver wished he hadn’t asked it. But there had been such a softness in Flint’s face when he’d spoken to the children, a kindness and a focus in his attention that meant he’d put time and effort into his actions, into making sure what he was doing was what the kids needed in that moment. It wasn’t just an adult slumming it with the neighborhood kids cause he had nothing better to do, it was almost, dare Silver think it, Paternal in nature. Paternal and the dread Captain Flint being used in the same sentence had not been something Silver had ever considered as possible, and yet- And yet it was, and it had piqued the old curiosity. Flint was quiet again, though he didn’t pull away or let go of Silvers hands, so Silver trusted that he hadn’t upset him. Silver held him tightly, turning his head to rest his cheek on Flint’s hair and wait patiently for him to speak. “Its complicated, pup.” “You don’t have to tell me. I was just curious. I never thought of you as a dad until today but now I’m… I won’t lie a part of me is still thinking about it.” There was a soft shuddering sound and Silver felt Flint shift in his arms, curling tighter in on himself for a moment before trying to settle again. Silver held tight, pressing his face into his hair. It took another moment or two, and several deep breaths, but Flint eventually spoke. “Thomas and Miranda were expected to have children when they married,” he said lowly, “all wealthy families expect heirs. But Miranda didn’t want to go through pregnancy and Thomas wasn’t sure if he could sire so they found ways of putting it off and focusing on Thomas’ political career. Thomas… he wanted to save the world, I’m sure for a while he thought he couldn’t allow himself thoughts of a future until that was done.” Silver hummed. That did sound like Thomas. Even now, with the chip on his shoulder and the somewhat colder view of the world, he still seemed to think he could save it. Silver wasn’t about to point out that Flint still seemed to think the same way. “And after everything I dunno I guess it just took so much time to remember how to be living, breathing people again, that children were never part of the consideration,” Flint said with a shrug. There was a weight to his voice, an emptiness that had Silver frowning slightly in surprise. “How can you care for a child when you’ve only just come back to life? When you’ve only just found reason to stay alive? It- Any child we brought into our lives would have been at risk, back then for certain, though I’m not sure a child would be better off now and besides with how much we work its not like-” “James,” Silver said softly, lifting his head, “you’re rambling.” Flint went still in his arms, still as if waiting for the lash that he knew would never come, but waited for all the same. The readiness with which Flint expected violence broke something in Silver, just as much as it felt like a mirror, smudged and smoky and cracked with age. “Is this your way of saying you want to be a father, but the thought of it terrifies you?” Silver asked. “The things I’ve done,” Flint said in a rough voice, “The stains my hands have carried- I’d see them every time I held my child. That’s my fear, I think. That I’d see them, and that violence would stain them as well.” He paused. Silver held him, hiding his own face. It was easier, they had learned, to talk about such things like this, with Flint’s back to Silver, their faces just hidden enough to give the illusion of control. How many secrets had they shared like this? Silver was losing count. “I was raised by a drunken old sailor and a bastard of a navy man who brought nothing but ruin- what could I ever give a child, John?” Flint asked, his hands white knuckle tight on Silver’s, his eyes the deep green of the sea, ghostly and far away. “What could I give them but that same ruin?” And what could Silver say in the face of that? So he said nothing, just nodded and kissed Flints throat until the tension in his shoulders softened and Flint settled back against Silver’s body to rest, weary and still haunted, but at least no longer at knife point in his own home. Silver went back to brushing his hair, singing softly to him as he worked, until Thomas came home and they were able to find more pleasant ways to spend their evening than discussing the sins of one’s father. They didn’t talk about the possibility of children again, not for the whole of the summer. They helped the food banks and the neighborhood families as best they could through the summer, made sure whatever kids stopped by the bar or the kitchen door in the alley left with something to eat, on the house. Thomas made sure checks were written to the shelters and the food banks that needed them, that the families that needed childcare could get it free of charge. They got through the summer, and the conversation never arose again. Silver just kept the thought of Flint holding a bright eyed child that sometimes looked like Thomas’ kid, and sometimes looked like his own, locked away safely in his heart and didn’t examine it too closely. Then Idelle had her baby in August. In October they held a two month belated baby shower for her at The Walrus, so the crew could meet little Wesley Ira Featherstone and his father, bless him, could cry with his crew mates about how proud he was while Idelle had her first stiff drink in over a year. Rackham was there, of course, as the boy’s God father (Silver was delighted by the idea because Rackham was absolutely as terrified by the concept as he was as honored) and Wesley took to him as well as any two month old possibly could. But when it came to crying babies, Rackham didn’t know what to do, and Hal the God Father to all and obvious baby whisperer was back in the kitchen unable to assist. And so Thomas and Silver watched as Flint, who seemed to be acting without really thinking about what he was doing (outside of scolding Rackham who was himself on the verge of tears) scooped up the baby and promptly rocked him calm within moments. “How did you-” Rackham stared at him in shock. “If you didn’t fuckin panic all the time then he wouldn’a started crying,” Flint growled at him, which Wesley found hilarious, if the slew of gurgling giggles was anything to go by. Silver watched, feeling his face split into a ridiculous smile, as Flint refused to give the baby back to Rackham until he’d sobered up, and instead let Idelle tie a sling around his chest to tuck Wesley into, so he could still fix drinks and use his hands while keeping the baby safe. “Sure you don’t want me to take him back?” she asked, Max watching with an amused smile. “You’ll have plenty of him soon, I got ‘im. Just give Rackham a 101 on how to actually hold a baby.” Silver leaned into Thomas as they watched Flint from their seats at the bar, humming as Thomas’ arm went around him automatically, pulling him close into his side. He looked up, curious to see what Thomas thought of his husband suddenly so at home with a child. He didn’t know what he had been expecting, but whatever it was, it wasn’t what he saw. Thomas’s face had gone soft, from the crows feet around his eyes to the laughter lines around his mouth, which parted in the gentlest shape of awe Silver might have ever seen on the man, as if he’d realized something he’d never considered before. His shoulders were rounded, leaning forward against the bar, hand fidgeting against the polished bartop as if desperate to reach out for his husband. Silver could feel the arm he hand around his shoulder tensing with the need to act. They watched as Flint moved behind the bar, one hand resting where Wesley’s head was under the sling, rocking him gently as he fetched fresh beers for himself and for Hal. Silver was watching his face, watching the way his lips were moving, as if he were talking to the baby, but he was just too far away to hear what he was saying. “He’s singing,” came Thomas’ voice suddenly, almost lost to the noise of the bar. “What?” “He’s singing,” Thomas said again, nodding to his husband. “Padstow Farewell, he sings it to me sometimes when I have nightmares, I’d know the lyrics on his lips even in the grave.” Silver smiled softly. “He sang it to me when I was recovering from my leg. I didn’t know it could be a lullaby.” “Neither did I but…” “But now-” “Yeah.” Silver reached for Thomas’ other hand and kissed his knuckles, leaning into him further. Thomas held him impossibly tight, resting his cheek on his hair. There’d be more to talk about in the morning, tomorrow, the day after, next week, next month, next year. And there was a dizzying sense of joy in that, the same kind of joy that came from watching Flint carrying the future in his worn and weathered hands.

Weight of the World

WARNING: This is a sensitive Fic that deals with depression, mentions of dark thoughts, punching a wall, and anxiety. It has a fluffy ending. 

A/N: Please put yourself first and don't read this fic if it will put you in any kind of dark place because of what is metions and please know that my DM’s are always open. Feel free to message me all hours of the day or night, I am always here to talk.

 Request: this is a touchy request so i understand if you are uncomfortable with writing it. it’s kinda a comfort/coping prompt but can you write corpse x reader where reader has been going through manic depression and just pushes everyone away and performs self destructive behavior, and corpse has to talk y/n out of su*icide? recently i’ve just.. been really going through it is all i can say. if you don’t wanna write it, totally understandable ❤️

Paring: Corpsex reader, Sykkuno x reader (best friends)

You rolled over in your bed as your phone rang, hiding yourself further into your covers. You woken up yesterday morning and your depression had hit you full force. You couldnt really put a finger on wheat caused your manic depressive episode but it was kicking your ass. It had been a while since you felt like this and you couldnt find the strength at the moment to pull yourself out of it and in doing so you were pushing away the person you loved the most. Corpse. The love of your life but you couldnt even answer his phone calls or texts. Instead you physically turned away from his caller ID, the last time you had talked to him was through a text yesterday telling him that you needed space and that was all.

The more you thought about it the angrier it made you, the angrier you became with yourself. As your mind slipped into darker, angrier thoughts your phone rang again but think time it was your best friend Sykkunos ring tone, Big booty bitches. 

Corpse must have called him. You thoguht before reluctantly picking up the phone, wiping tears from your face. “What Sykkuno”

“Oh uh h-hi y/n. I just wanted to uh call you and check up on you, you didnt come to the Among Us lobby yesterday.” You sighed.

“Im fine Sy.” Your tone was short and rough, you hated acting this way but you didnt want to pull anyone else down intot the slump that you were in.

“O-okay, well im here okay. Love you y/n/n”

“Yeah love you too sy. Never forget that.” and with that you hung up on him, tears running down your face again as your thoughts continued down a dark route.

CORPSE POV

Corpse was going out of his mind trying to figure out what was going on with you. After your text yesterday he had been battling his anxiety on wether or not he should oush the situation, corpse knew you depression could get back sometimes but he also understood sometimes people just needed space. So he turned to the only other person he could trust right now, Sykkuno.

“Hey buddy.”

“Oh hey corpse, whats goin on?” It made corpse smile to hear that at least sykkuno was still his normal cheerie self.

“I need a favor, I think y/n is having another episode butbut she wont answer my calls so I was wondering if you could try and call her for me. See if she answers.”

“Yeah of course man, but why dont you just go over there?” Corpse sighs.

“Im going to but I dont want to push ya know. Its- this is a touchy thing.” Sykkuno hums in agreement before hanging up. Corpse paces back and forth in his livingroom till Sykkuno calls back.

“Hey Corpse”

“Did she answer?” Sykkuno sighs.

“Yeah and she doesnt sound like shes doing very well.Im actually really really worried Corpse.” Before Sykkuno could even finish his sentence Corspe was grabbing his car keys and hoodie.

“Im heading over there now, Ill text you later with and update. Thank you for calling her.”

“Of course, just keep me updated.” Corpse faster than he ever had , it was a mirical he didnt get pulled over.

Please be okay, please be okay. He repeated in his mind over and over as he run up to your apartment door. He entered quietly and quickly, not even bothering to take his shoes off. You entire apartment was dark and eerily quiet but as he neared your bedroom he could hear your quiet cries coming from the bathroom. He knocks on the door and tires to open it but it was locked.

“Go away.” You cried with broke Corpses heart.

“Baby girl, please open the door.”

“NO please just go away!”

Your POV

You felt out of control as you cried so you puched and yelp in pain. Corpse wastes no time kicking in the door.

“Im sorry baby Ill fix that I promise.” He says quickly as he kneels down beside you. You didnt know if it was the suddenness of the door kicking in or him beig here or both but you broken down into even more of a crying mess on your bathroom floor. Corpse pulls you into his chest and you try to fight him off. 

“No leave me alone, go away!” He only held you tighter and closer.

“Y/N I’m not going anywhere. We made a promise to eachother remember? We promised to never leave eachother remember? Me and you together. Im promise to fight next to you. So please just breath and let me help baby please.” Eventually you stopped fighting against him and clung to him like your life depended on it, and in this moment you were positive it did. You didnt know how much time passed between that moment and when Corpse finally stood, holding you bridalstyle as he carried you to the room. You laid both you you down, never letting you leave his hold. As you laid there Corpse left sof kisses around your face and whispered sweet loving things to you.

“You are so strong Y/n” He ran his fingers through your hair and kissed your forehead. “You are beautiful and smart” Corpse kisses your temple. “You are worth every single breath you take, every single atom and molecule in this universe that you take up you are worthy of.” He gently lifts you chin so you were looking up at him with your red, puffy eyes. “A wise girl once told me, that I know it gets hard and feels like the weight of the world is one your shoulders but theres two of us now and you dont have to take the weight on alone.” You sniffle and look up at him.

“Hey I said that.” Your voice was weak and horse from crying.

“Yes baby girl, you did, and I hope you knoe its true. I am right here.”

“I dont want to burden you, I know you have some much on your plate already I dont want to throw my shit on there too.” He shakes his head and lays his forehead on yours. 

“You arent burdening me, the only thing that ever puts more stress on my plate is when you push me away because I cant help you when you do that.” You sniffle reaching up and brush your finger tips across his cheek. 

“Im so sorry I put you through this.” Tears started to well up in your eyes but Corpse qucikly wipes under them and peppers your forehead in kisses.

“Hey hey hey none of that baby. Alls well now. Im here now.”

“Thank you my love. You are my rock.’

“And you are mine”

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2021 Reading for BTS and the collective!!

Wow wow wow! I didn't disappear or get dragged away by a demon. No no, I just got thrust into unexpected shadow work and I now have an unhealthy obsession with sea shanties and a love of pasta.

I had this idea planned to be early in January but that didn't pan out so I'm doing it now. I have another yoongi reading in the works and another fun thing coming soon as well!!

I promise I won't bore you to death any longer but I hope you've all been doing well!!

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact.

If this message doesn't apply, let it fly!

Cool cool cool.

Let's get it.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Oki. I first want to say that this I gonna be long lol. I did a meditation and gathered some little pieces of things y'all might need to hear and then I pulled cards for every month. The fountain tarot deck is the cards for us, the collective, and the rider-waite cards are for bts. It'll make more sense when I add picks and stuff. I did a little extra card pull for yoongi for the month of May too :) I'll make sure to type out all the cards in text so you know what they are (the pics are kinda wack.) I also used my pendulum to ask if there was a bts related event for every month and that's at the bottom. It's just to take in the possible energy for the month and something that could result from that energy!

LETTUCE BEGIN (hehe)

Starting with the section for the channeled messages. I want to reiterate that this was collective so if it doesn't resonate with you, the message might not be for you! Use your intuition.

(Enough talking. Damn)

So. As I said this was through meditation and connecting to the big column tree thing (I told my cousin about the tree/pillar and they were like,, "so basically a big energy dildo in the æther?" .... I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. h e l p m e) and asking if there was any messages or advice that needed to be delivered and it was... intresting?

Things came fragmented. So there was little messages like, "Its gonna be okay" and "things are changing for everyone" and "open your eyes if you want to see" (that's sassy.) There was one particular thing that was confusing me though. Straight up it was just "flower" on repeat and like a really bad picture of a flower? Like you could tell what it was but it was bad quality. Anyway, I was like "okay. Kindly shut the fuck up. Pls." And I wrote down flower, pink flower and rose. Sooo.... idk but there you go.

More messages were things like, "the block isn't in your head", "try calling forth that which you seek" and... February. Possibly there is specific (very very very loose) connection to the 10th-19th? I'm not to sure what or why but I'd say maybe look out for opportunities on these days and also maybe external events.

Continuing with dates. In the last this 21 and January 21 came up. It came up again but with 2 messages. So first, either 21st is a day where something is put into motion (possibly private or public) or announced and the second was "add them together dumbass" that's not very kind but 3. Again this has been discussed too but but but... maybe a signal of a third mixtape 👀 (not necessarily on the 21st per say but possibly in March? I'm really not sure).

Oki. I got side tracked like I always do and started thinking about tattoos and stuff and I really want koo to have a peony tattoo. I feel it in my BONES. It would suit him so well. and as I was thinking about tattoos I heard, "don't be surprised if yoongi gets/shows a tattoo this year" ??? What the fuck? I think maybe they messing with me but now I have hopes and I don't want them to be crushed and thrown to the wind :(

Back to normal stuff, "the theme is growth" I think that fits very well with the reading. "Blue might be a lucky color" self explanatory. It might be lucky. "Start practicing grounding and centering" this was LOUD. This will help you in how you react to events in the future. Really do practice this if you haven't.

This is where it gets a little weird. So, I got a message that said "start living as if you never existed." I am not a 100% sure what this means but I think I have a pretty good guess. I hate to make it sound weird like this but by sort of focusing on something that is so hard to comprehend (because our brains can't comprehend not existing very well) you kinda break the 4th wall? Like in Deadpool when he addresses the audience and is aware that he is a character played by Ryan Reynolds? anyway, focusing on something that seemingly impossible you kind of accidentally open up the floodgates for a lot of other things. I would say if you are not in the right headspace to do this don't do it but it can be a powerful way to break up the monotony of reality. The theory that everything happens simultaneously bc time isn't a linear progression events blah blah we are energy blah blah the multiverse blah blah.. Theres so so so so so so so so so much about this and how it applies to things that I could probably write you 10+ dictionaries worth of material but for the sake of simplicity and not wanting to write a novel right now, I will continue. The main lesson is to start challenging your perception of the world around you. Ask why and why and why and why. Essentially seeing cracks in the matrix. Pulling your head out of your cosmic ass, realizing that rose you're smelling is actually daffodil ect. It's not supposed to bring you fear but just kinda encouraging you to question all the things that you perceive as given truths.

I tried to make that sound cohesive but really it's such a big concept that I can't really wrap it up all nice and neat.

Oki. May and March are also important times.

Listen to your intuition and try not to take everything so seriously. I'm not saying to check out and go squat in the Himalayas but it's important to find joy in the now. Life is already tough enough so don't forget to watch a silly show that you like or change your hair to a style you've never tried, wear makeup in a very loud way. Just have fun and don't worry so much about things that you can't control. Listen to yourself and your intuition.

Well that was all over the place. Let's get on to the actual tarot part now.

For the record, the pictures are right to left.

January for the collective

We have the empress, the sun, 7 of swords and a fortune that says "act well your part; there the honor lies"

Hmm. Ngl I was a little confused to see the empress and the sun for January... I mean it hasn't been great. So I pulled clarity card 7 of swords. The 7 of swords is all about betrayal. It's about the deception and and actively getting away with things. This is people lying, cheating, sneaking and the works.

This makes much more sense!! The Sun card is usually about joy and success and happiness but in this case I see it as illuminating the betrayal. It's shining light on the deception and keeps the spotlight there. Its also an energetic card so I think that shows passion for uncovering the truth.

With the empress card too I think January is all about getting creative in all forms. Creative ways to protest, to mourn, to celebrate, to connect. Also taking in the abundance that we DO have. The beauty that surrounds us. I like to think of aphrodite energy for this. Its not just love and passion and creativity but is also asserting yourself and having strong passion for what you love and fighting for it. Did you know aphrodite was also called upon in ancient Greece in times of war? She was honored as a goddess of war but still a goddess of love, the sea, fertility ect. What I'm trying to say is that being a creative and "feminine" energy is in no way weak. Sometimes the most powerful things come from this energy. Love aggressively with good intentions. The point is that you should take whatever you're feeling and translate it into something creative or something you care about. The fact that covid is still a thing really sucks but take any rage, hurt, sadness, joy, love whatever and use that shit to make something amazing. Bake bread and punch the fuck out of it, paint your frustration, play hopscotch in higheels while you listen to heavy metal. You get the point.

Now January for BTS!!

We have the death card. (I only pulled one card bc I have things planned from this)

January has been... strange? To say the least.

This card can be a lot of things for them. I think this points to more maturity in their music? Like they've finally ditched the "shiny kpop boy band" label and are being taken seriously in the west. I also think that they're going through a musical/concept transformation~ I think it also signified the change in plans bc of the Grammys perhaps they had things planned an that fell through so they were forced to rapidly change plan/course.

For January: possible mixtape or announcement.

February for the collective

We have 8 of coins reverse and hanged man reverse.

The 8 of pentacles reverse talks a lot about self improvement. Doing that good good inner work and self care. Working on developing parts of you that you've maybe neglected. It's also learning how to work with how you are instead of wishing you weren't the way you are. If you have a therapist its a great time to maybe ask for any extra tips that you can practice daily to help you even more. Maybe exploring more into insecurities relating to finance or jobs or your passions. If you don't have a therapist but you have the means to get one I always highly recommend. You don't have to have "problems" to see a therapist. Everyone could use a non biased point of view that is literally trained to help you be you best self. If you can't get therapy, I get it. Shits tough rn but there's still things we can do to better ourselves like Journaling and reading therapy blogs or self help books (not the taky shit) or trying a hobby you fell out of touch with. There's also a lot of places where you can get therapy promise on the internet. Most importantly, better yourself in the way that you need. Take time in February to take notice of what you want to improve upon. The 8 of coins reversed does come with the warning not to get stuck in perfectionism. Go easy on yourself and if you find yourself getting frustrated when working on projects, try to take a step back and practice whatever it is in a fun way and then come back to it later

Hanged man reverse talks about knowing that you need to chill but you don't. You'll need too. Maybe you'll find yourself swept up in work and tasks and you're over whelmed and know you need to stop and catch your breath but you resist. Why? Well, perhaps you're trying to ignore reality by filling the empty spaces with things and stuff so you don't have to face what's bothering you. Not wise. Take time for yourself. There's also the flips side where people are just kinda stuck.. creative block. Maybe you want something to turn out one way and it just isn't, so your stuck and frustrated and can't move past it. Let go of your expectation of how it should be and let it be what it is. Go with the flow and maybe you'll see a new way to overcome your problem. You'll eventually get that break through that you need! The theme of February is about self improvement. Listen to yourself.

February for BTS

We have judgment.

Hehe yeah. This card is about rebirth and the inner calling. Letting go of the old to step into the new version of you. This is also a very spiritual card lol. This can talk about a new decision that you have to trust your gut on. This is a very significant card that screams comeback to me. It also can talk about sharing your struggles with a group of people and that to me sounds comeback ish. Maybe this will be an announcement in February, maybe they'll be working on it idk but this is ultimate comeback energy so I hope they utilize this for a big group project!!

February: possible BTS comeback (even my pendulum knows)

March for the collective

The chariot and justice

This plays directly off of February! With the chariot you're taking the self improvement that you've done and putting it to action! Now is the time to act on the dreams and passions that you have don't wait and hope for the best. March is about action and standing in your power.

Justice card is cause and effect and truth. What you do will have consequences good or bad. Not doing anything also has consequences. Cease the moment and make the best of it. You'll be taking responsibility for what you do. You start a business? Now you have the responsibility of running it and you get the credit. Stuff like that. Stand by your decisions with conviction and trust yourself.

There's also the side of justice that talks about bringing justice. If you've been wronged, you'll be brought justice if you stand up for yourself.

We also carry the continuous lesson of learning what we truly believe and challenge those beliefs!

March for BTS

Oki we have the hermit and the 6 of pentacles reverse.

Well... let's start with the 6 of pentacles reverse. This can really talk about being so generous and giving to everyone else that you forget about yourself. I think that maybe they might be over exerting themselves and giving so much that they're exhausted physically and emotionally as well. I think too, they take on so much of our pain like its their own? Idk but this would be a good time to do a large scale fan project to show them a little extra love!

With the hermit card it talks about a self introspection so they could be looking inward as a team and kinda evaluating their bond.

I also see this as maybe being alone as in they maybe can't physically go to the grammys? Or maybe they had been planning the rescheduled concerts and they had to be pushed back even further? Things like that. Regardless this signals re thinking/reevaluating the goals that they have and considering what direction to go in!

March: possible mixtape or solo project?

April for the collective

We have 6 of coins and 3 of cups reverse.

Let's start with the 6 of coins. It's about sharing. It can be about charity so sharing money via donation but also giving time, effort, energy to people as well. Giving knowledge is good too! It's an all round exchange. Maybe someone lends you money or you lend money to someone. It's give and take. It's a two way street. It's also a card of balanced finance. So money stuff should be looking promising around this time (for you U.S people this could point to more stimulus help as well)

And for the 3 of cups reversed... I see this as reopening of places and people struggling to find the balance. So think people who've been in lockdown celebrating by throwing a big party... yikes. This card reminds that we should be mindful of the long-term consequences that come with our actions.. maybe also people that are experiencing fear of being in public places now. This is only one facet though. Bc I think this also means in general, missing being with friends and having a renewed relationship because you've really realized how important it is to have these people that mean so much to you in your life. Don't forget that you have people that love you and want the best for you. Call them when you feel alone.

April for BTS

The heirophant

Mhmm. This one kinda gives me vibes that they'll be mentoring people? Idk but I see them more as the heirophant teaching what they've learned/ know to help guide others. HOWEVER this could also be them taking a new task under their belt. Learning something new. Since this is as a group reading I assume that this talks about the group as a whole. This card is also very tradition oriented so maybe they are taking lessons that are connected to traditional Korean culture? Maybe its for RUN or maybe its to incorporate into music and preformance. Think bts mma preformance but all of them learning together? Idk, it's just a thought (maybe wishful thinking). It also talks about seeking counseling so maybe they'll do yoongis idea from the most recent RUN.

This can also be them embracing this kind of leadership/ status.

April: I got nothing. It does feel like something though

May for the collective

Five of cups and queen of cups reversed

Five of cups is disappointment, regret and self pity. Now honestly this to me looks like possibly a tightening of restrictions yet again. Regardless of the situation that this is talking about, the best thing you can do is not wallow in the bullshit. You scrape yourself off the pavement and move foward. You'll need forgiveness of yourself and others and that if shit isn't going your way, you need to pull your head out of your ass and look around bc there's options out there. It's like drowning in a kiddie pool. Just stand up, dude. The water is like 5 inches.

Queen of cups reversed talks about self love and self care. It's more of that look inwards energy. Think about really taking care of yourself. May might be emotionally draining so you need to be ready to take care of you! Part of self care is making sure that your boundaries are well enforced.

Be on the look out for codependent behaviors. Check in with yourself.

The queen of cups is very intuitive and having it in reverse can talk about you not taking enough time to listen to it. Make an effort to meditate for like 5 minutes a day at least. Do something to let yourself connect to your intuition and higher self.

May for BTS

9 of pentacles

This about enjoying the fruits of your labor and absolute abundance and luxury. This could talk about them rolling in the dough after signing a new partnership or having a concert or something if the sort. This could also be a time where we see them buying new things like houses, cars and rings (lol) but also this could be them doing a very high production value project! Also namjoon and his bonsai army are thriving in this time!

May: possible concert or scheduled concert event. Activity of some kind.

Yoongi interlude

I asked for one card to give me an idea of what the mystical May 13th really is. I got: the star, 2 of cups, 4 of wands, the world and the sun.

Guys. I can't with this. 2 of cups is a card of union, romance, soulmate. 4 of wands is celebration, joy, homecoming, bliss. The world is completion and the sun is happiness, joy, marriage, enlightenment.

I've said it a billion times but that's some soulmate shit. So soft so cute and May will be eventful for his personal life.

June for the collective

Death and the heirophant reversed.

Wow wow wow death is transformation and a new chapter so a new way of life and something new/ different that changes how we see things. Again this could be relating to new covid things and new policies and stuff like that but also new as in new to all of us. Groundbreaking perhaps?

The heirophant reversed talks about teaching yourself. Being your own teacher and making your own path. This might be spiritual or otherwise. Challange what the world wants from you and instead listen to what you truly want bc you don't need anyone's approval. Continue to ask questions about why things are the way that they are.

June for BTS

Page of pentacles

Oki oki page of pentacles means a new creative venture and manifestation. Maybe something that they've been wanting for a while finally comes to fruition. This might be the start of a new project that they haven't done before or something cross genre? Idk but its a really good sign of being motivated for a new endeavor and manifesting any projects that they've ever wanted to do. Love this promising energy!!

June: idk

July for the collective

10 of swords and 9 of cups reversed.

10 of swords signals a painful ending. Also deceit. Its a necessary end to a long battle. The only thing you can do is control how you react in these situations. You just kinda gotta surrender into the pain and know that it's temporary. Take time to reflect on what happened and why and how it will help you grow.

The 9 of cups reversed talks about valuing stuff and material things over emotions and spiritual things. This can be talking about society in general, that we are becoming more aware to the fact that there is often more value placed on ephemeral items rather than humanity as a whole. This also can be talking about coming to the realization that we've been working so hard towards... something we don't really care about simply because we were told that it's what you do.

If you want something different to happen you have to put in effort. You can't be sitting in front of a water fountain being like, "damn. I'm thirsty. I really really want water so why isn't it in my mouth yet?" Like?? Hello? You have to take the first step, my dude.

Certainly don't try to do anything that would cost you finatial security or health.

You have the potential to find happiness within yourself. So try looking inside instead of looking outward.

July for BTS

4 of swords.

This is about rest and relaxation!

Taking time to meditate and take some time to look at what you've done objectively. Ots like the hermit in a way but much more focused on resting and relaxing so you can come back stronger and with better direction. Maybe they'll take a break for a couple days but I really see it as them reassessing options. Especially if July goes how I think it will. Maybe they'll film something like In The Soop again? Maybe we'll see bon voyage type thing? Idk. But it could be something kinda out of the spotlight? Maybe something more healing?

July: maybe something?? I'm not sure but it seems like something might be in store.

August for the collective

5 of coins and the wheel of fortune

Well let's see. 5 of pentacles talks about isolation and a negative mindset. This talks about falling on hard times but its a temporary set back. This energy can be talking about falling on hard times emotionally as well. In the card it shows a woman outside of a church shivering and cold but she's too busy thinking about all that she's lost that she doesn't notice the warm church that she could step into for shelter.

But then with he wheel of fortune that talks about fate/destiny, opportunity and luck so maybe this is a necessary loss so that a new door can open. This does kinda tie in with July as well. The end of something is painful but it's often a necessary thing. Might be a bit uncomfy but that's how things change. Again I see this maybe hinting more towards society but none the less it's definitely a theme for August to have doors closing and new ones opening so be on the lookout for that.

August for BTS

The devil.

Now don't fret. The devil talks a lot about choice. Most notably the choice between instant gratification and and something more substantial and the devil leans towards indulgence. It also has a lot to do with the shadow side. This could talk about ~scandal~ sure, but I think its more of a time where you become aware of negative patterns and you shine a light on that part you've ignored. On a much lighter note this card talks also about an incredible bond between people. It can be unhealthy if not given space or boundaries. Listen to pied piper and come back to me.

I also REALLY REALLY REALLY hope that this card points to this: sexuality. The boys have always been pretty pg when it comes to the topic of sex and embracing sexuality so I really do hope to see something more daring and grown up and exploring a tastefully sexy concept. On the same vain as sexuality this card also talks about kinks and stuff like that so don't be surprised if we get more outfits like fake love Era bondage harnesses.

August: ???

September for the collective

We have the world and 10 of wands reversed.

The 10 of wands reversed talks about carrying burden. Doing extra work and taking on more responsibility. Doing everything by yourself and carrying this heavy load alone will get you burnt out quicker than anything. You might be taking on too much and you'll need to prioritize what you really need to focus on. I also think there will just be a lot happening in September for a lot of people. It's a lot of working hard because you know it's good work or because it's what's right. This could be social responsibility that's placed on you or work responsibility. For whatever reason this burden isn't something you want to share with others because you think its yours alone to deal with. It's not though bc you'll figure out eventually that if it hurts so much you'll find a way to lessen the burden. 10 in tarot is all about the completion of a cycle and going through the wands cycle is hard work because for anything to be made of passion, you need to put the work behind it. The burden isn't forever, the heavy work load will lighten but this is you seeing things out. It's a good thing!

Especially considering this is paired with with world. The world is all about completion and that's what you're doing here is finding completion. You are seeing things out until the end but you just need to learn to give up some responsibility, lessen your burden.

This also talks about hard work being put into wider social spheres as well. Things like the vaccines becoming more widespread through the whole globe or at least better planing and infrastructures not related to covid. Things are looking up!

September for BTS

Knight of swords reverse

This bad boi is restless energy. It's being so pent up that you're ready to burst and you really want to take action but you can't because something is keeping you from taking that action. Again I do think this is kinda covid related in regards to touring bc if they do tour in 2021 its gonna look a lot different. This energy can be a bit impulsive and directionless so I think maybe they'll channel this into album material something? I'm not really sure tbh. I'm suprised this energy didn't show up earlier because it almost seems inevitable.

September: no clue

October for the collective

Ten of coins and the star reverse.

Welp let's start with the 10 of coins. Its about wealth, financial security, and long term success so this is a pretty prosperous time. This talks about the obvious monetary wealth and material wealth but also an abundance of opportunities. So this is definitely a good time to enjoy whatever consistency you have. This energy is really really abundant in the career space as well. So October could be very prosperous in the job field and you'll have likely found what it is you really want and could be successful at. This could be the actual act or just the idea. This is could also talk about investing in something for your future, this could be time or money.

With the star reversed it can talk about a loss of faith and a disconnection. This often points to feeling like you've just been forgotten or left out. Like the universe doesn't give a shit about you and left you out to die. Things might seem unfair but always try to look for the lesson that you can take from the experience. Seeing the 10 of coins and the star makes me think that a lot of people have kinda lost faith in their manifestations and also just in the concept of not living in a state of need. Especially if you see other people doing well and you've been trying so fucking hard but you haven't gotten a break. I know we hate to hear it but this can serve as a test of faith. Or rather an opportunity to get your shit in line and take a second to breath. Do something good for yourself and then continue on. This star in reverse serves to show you what no longer sparks joy and helps you find what does and what that initial spark was in the first place. Helps you get back to the original vision/ spark.

October for BTS

5 of pentacles reverse.

This signals the end of difficult times and getting that groove back. The last month was restless energy with no where to go but this month that energy is certainly put to good use. They might be figuring out what has been missing In their lives and starting to rectify that. They are definitely reminded that material wealth doesn't bring spiritual or emotional wealth. Might be also feeling a bit alienated too.

October: something is likely but idk

November for collective

Six of swords reversed and the moon.

Transition and change is prevalent. The 6 of swords is about leaving behind the familiar. Maune this is leaving a job, a new change in the status quo, leaving a relationship ect. The thing you have to keep in mind is just how amazing this is in terms of what it will do. It will alow growth!! And bring clarity!! Thos can also be societal as well, something being left behind in favor of something new. It's letting go and reflecting so that you can move foward.

This is strengthened by the moon card. The moon card is the subconscious and all the things that come with it. The anxiety, the illusion, the uncertainty. You'll want to deal with whatever emotions come up. The moon can signify a confusing time where things aren't what they seem to be. That's the illusions so you'll have rely more on intuition at a time like this. Your dreams might hold significance in this time as well. Listen to your guides and your own guidance because it will help you understand more than you did before this journey began. Using moon cycles to your advantage in November might really help you!!

November for BTS

7 of wands

Challenge and competition. People are envious of bts. We know this. But people will be challenging them for what they've gained: music industry domination. This might co.e in the way that people will spread vicious rumors in attempt to disenfanchise or possibly it will be a fair fight. It could also be a challenge/ battle for some other aspect that involves legal matters.

My best guess though is good old competition. Bts has proven again and again that they will continue to do what they do how they do but they will not be trampled over. In the best way this could renew some of that spirit in friendly competition. They will tear eachothers throats out for a pack of ramen so maybe a bit of competition will be good for them. It keeps life intresting.

November: nothin

December for the collective

Two of cups and the emperor!

Let's start off with the emperor card talks about stability and order. It can also signify being the "breadwinner" so its a good sign that you'll kinda be on top of your shit. The emperor is also an amazing leader so you might find yourself taking on a leadership role too! This is very organized energy that works very smoothly!

two of cups is such a lovely way to end out the year! It's love and partnership and attraction so if you aren't in a relationship by this time you might meet someone who strikes your fancy!! On a none romantic relationship note though, this card is also great for business partnership bc it signifies that you're on the same page and have the same goals in mind!

It's harmonious relationships and trust between them!! Love love love this energy so much! Cups are the suit of emotions and this card is so promising.

If you are in a relationship, this can talk about "falling in love all over again" like you're just reminded of how good they are.

December for BTS

Queen of cups

Intuition, creativity and emotional stability. They're using intuition to guide their moves foward with emotional maturity. They are in a place of knowing what they want and why. This would be a good time to work on an album or a book or to release them. The queen of cups is like the friend that you can tell absolutely anything and somehow they have a helpful answer. This card is really calm and it can also talk about subconscious thoughts.

I think that bts is maybe making more of a conscious effort to make sure that what they do is just as emotionally fulfilling for them as it is for us! They might be kinda pondering the future at this time and considering if this is what fills their emotional cup!

December: possibly a thing?

Now these cards are the vibe of the year and some advice.

For the collective (on the left)

Three of swords and judgment reverse.

The fortune says "accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory"

The 3 of swords is about disappointment and hurt and heartbreak. It's about the emotional release that we all need when shit gets tough. Don't pretend to be strong. If you need to cry, fucking cry. This year is about letting go of expectations and do what you have to do to release so you can move foward and not have these things pile up.

You have to make an effort to not let yourself take on what other people think of you. You aren't defined by what some asshole says. You define yourself.

Judgment reverse is about self doubt and ignoring your path. It's being stagnant and being harsh on yourself. This year has a focus on building yourself up and noticing when you are not. Bring light to the things that are holding you back without harsh judgment for yourself. You can't beat yourself up. If you make a bad decision you know not to make it again. Take accountability and move on.

The oracle card is inner temple.

Seriously all the focus of this year is in self improvement and dear god, please take time to work on yourself spiritually!!! Everything you want to know is there if you take the time to listen. This should be a place where you feel safe and welcome. It definitely should not feel like something you HAVE to do.

For BTS

10 of swords and page of swords

The fortune says "you create your own stage. The audience is waiting" (how tje fuck?? This is the perfect fortune)

The 10 of swords is a painful but necessary end. This is accepting the current situation. They maintain focus for 2021 for them is adapting and keeping their spirits up.

With the page of swords it talks about new ideas and that kind of creativity. It's also a lot about communication so I really think that they'll be figuring out new ways to connect and new projects that will be prosperous.

The oracle card is Pleiades

This is what we talk about all the time. Bts has helped so many people want to be better and do better. They are uplifting humanity and giving people a sense if belonging. Bts finds you when you need them most 💜💜💜

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Wow I had to write this up over 2 days bc this was so fucking long. I need a nap. Idk if I'll proof read this before I post it so don't hate me for the mistakes (honestly, there's like 10,000 spelling and grammar mistakes in my other posts too 🙃)

I hope you guys enjoyed it and maybe this will be helpful to to have a forecast of some possible energy for you to look out for!!

Also bts bc I love them. I have another bts 2021 reading I'll do soon too!

Hope you guys are happy and well 💜