when i was a minor the internet was still new enough that it was hard to find specific things

and also it was early enough in Web Existence that i was 100% certain id be hacked or get a virus if i clicked the wrong search result

(also for a lot of it my parents could see what i searched/looked at bc i was dumb and didnt know abt history so i was real careful abt what i typed too)

so imagine how i feel in 2023 as an adult reading ripped scanlations of any yaoi manga i please on a seedy website that didnt exist in My Yaoi Era and seeing just. countless blatant and even self confessed minors in the comments making thirsty statements about dicks and smut and talking about the actually vile Bad ones they read when they were 12 (2 years ago) etc etc

its. horrifying. not only bc theres people with literally "so what im 14 f**k off haters" as a signature talking about how badly they want a giant cock to ride (and no this is not a site where meeting/messaging/talking to people is a thing so i do NOT think its posing pedos at all) but because i know for a fact that if i was their age during this era i would be right there with them. except for the wanting cock thing tbh i was always more into the romance--coming to terms with gay feelings stories hit hard for my confused budding bisexual kid ass. but i would still be one of those, actual children, happily consuming explicit adult content thinking im so mature for my age and getting all sorts of wrong ideas about what is and is not okay in a relationship or just life

like at least i was limited to what was offered on the shelves at barnes & noble and suncoast (and atomic comics, RIP). Stuff officially translated by US companies and stocked in normal bookstores in the 2000's tended not to even show censored wieners, it was all cut off or hidden by spans of magical fuzz or what have u. and even if i wanted more, i wasnt sure how to find it online and if i DID find it i was fairly certain it would break the computer and get my ass in huge trouble

youre not mature for your age, i promise. youre just fucking up your own brain before its fully developed because much as kids SAY they can separate fiction from reality... youre not so good at it. you dont recognize which parts are the fanstasy and which parts are not in these placed-in-the-real-world romance and smut stories. you see obvious manipulation like romantic interest telling main guy not to hang out with other guys bc he gets mad when hes jealous and call red flag but then post heart eyes when its subtle because ohh thats just loyalty thats just love, minor obsession IS romance and the best-friend side character that keeps trying to help their main character friend recognize the toxicity is just annoying

like yall dont even know what youre saying its killing me inside

i hope you dont make the same idiot mistakes and allow the same shitty things as i did in my early romantic endeavors. i hope you come to understand what real love looks like sooner than i did even while having been exposed to so much less. god, i hope.