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jayflrt · 2 days

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𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝟕𝟖𝟔 40. pledge week

content warnings: hazing (for those who don't know, hazing refers to initiation "rituals" that can be humiliating, degrading, and potentially dangerous. hazing can be physical, mental, or psychological; it can happen not only in fraternities and sororities but also sports teams and social or professional organizations). also they steal a goat (don't do this)

JAY WAS FAST ASLEEP FOR THE EIGHT HOURS ON THE PLANE BACK TO CONNECTICUT, WHICH WAS ALSO A GREAT EXCUSE TO KEEP HIMSELF FAR AWAY FROM YOU.

He had you on his thigh only hours prior to the flight, and he could barely meet anyone's eyes while he spent the entire time brooding at the terminal. No one seemed to notice his strange behavior, though; most people were yawning and rubbing their eyes from the hectic weekend.

Vivid flashes of your face kept popping up in his head whenever he let his mind wander. Jay desperately tried to steer his head to think about more important matters—the mission, for one—but all he could recall was how you moaned his name in a way that set his nerves on fire.

It was a mistake. He wasn't acting responsibly at all about this, and Jay was so disappointed in himself that he couldn't bring himself to tell his friends about what had happened.

If only he didn't let his emotions get in the way of his work.

That matter aside, Jay had been far too distracted this weekend. He was getting so carried away with the glitz and glam of the trip that he had completely forgotten that he was supposed to talk to Chaewon more. She was your roommate, for Christ's sake; it should've been easy for him to strike up a conversation.

But then there was some resistance starting to build up. He didn't want to do this anymore, and he knew that for sure after he had walked away from your hotel room. Even if Jay had to leave Yale forever and never see you again, he would rather do that over continuing with an investigation that would inevitably hurt you.

It wasn't like he had any choice, though—not when Unknown knew the ugliest truth about him that Jay hadn't even told his closest friends about.

He woke up to the overhead announcement about the plane landing. It must have been the early hours of the morning still, and Jay was dreading this part the most. Jennie told them that they would head straight to the Athenaeum first and foremost. She didn't elaborate, but Jay glanced over at Sunghoon, who raised his brows with a grim look on his face, as if to say, We're screwed.

"We're getting hazed to hell and back," muttered Heeseung, who had been standing next to him with two suitcases that he didn't bring along on the way to Monaco.

It took around two hours for everyone to regroup at the Order's house. They had to wait an extra thirty minutes for Giselle, who had been left behind again, to get an Uber from the airport. Jay could hardly wrap his head around the fact that he was in a completely different continent just the other day. Having to go back to school was jarring, even though he appeared to be skipping his afternoon classes today.

They were all gathered in the dark basement with only Jennie standing in front of them. She had them all line up against the wall in order of how everyone's names were listed on the official announcement.

You happened to be first, and Jay was only a few people away from you. He noticed that you sent him a few cautionary glances, but he kept his gaze down, his heart thundering just from the sight of you.

"Alright, you've all had your fun now," Jennie said in a sterner voice than usual, "so let's just get right into it."

The remaining fourteen members filed into the basement in black robes and white masks with faces molded to look like Greek statues. Jennie kicked a box that was set down in front of her; Jay initially thought it was empty, but upon closer inspection, he saw several pins with the emblem of a golden owl.

One-by-one, each Order member took a badge each. Their hoods were up, so Jay had a hard time telling who was who, but he quickly realized that Jeonghan was the one standing right in front of him.

Jennie went around handing each pledge a candle. She helped you light your candle, and then instructed everyone else to help each other light their candles. You shared your fire with Yeonjun, who shared his with Giselle, who shared hers with Jay, and so on.

"I'm going to recite our society's oath, and you guys are going to repeat after me," Jennie said once all of the candles were lit, and she started:

"In the presence of the unseen and the holders of ancient wisdom,

"I—say your name—commit to pursuing the answers from our universe with an undying thirst for knowledge,

"recognizing that the quest for truth is eternal;

"cherishing and valuing the sacred bond of brotherhood in our delegation of fifteen;

"and upholding the principles of what the Order of Kryptos stands for—integrity, unity, and discretion.

"With this oath, I pledge myself as a new member of the Order and devote myself to a lifetime pursuit of knowledge and success."

In broken harmony, the fifteen of them repeated after each of Jennie's pauses, mostly getting all the words she was saying and occasionally falling apart. Everyone was far too jet-lagged to even think straight, let alone recite an oath in a dark basement.

After they were finished, everyone wore sheepish grins and crooked smiles once the older members started clapping for them. Jay, on the other hand, was much too clueless about what was going on. Most of the people here knew of these situations through friends or family who had experienced similar rituals, but Jay didn't grow up in such an environment.

The older members stepped forward and fixed the badge with the owl emblem over their hearts. Jeonghan pinned Jay's shirt rather quickly while Wonwoo seemed to be taking forever to stab his badge through Giselle's coat. Jay peered over at you, and he couldn't help but frown a bit as he watched Sungjin place the badge on your shirt.

"Alright, you guys can go now," Jennie said. She was behind everyone, appearing to get something out of her bag while the rest of the members were filing back out. All of them had given the pledges cheers of support and good luck, but Jay had a bad feeling about all of this. "Let's sit down and go over Initiation Week together; last year we had someone pass out while they were standing."

Jay and Heeseung, with four people between them, craned their necks to check on each other's reactions—horrified, to put it simply. Heeseung bent down to sit with his legs crossed almost immediately after. Everyone else followed suit, sitting knee-to-knee where they had lined up.

"For the next week, you guys will be living here together," Jennie said plainly. Jay met several people's eyes and everyone seemed to be thinking the same thing, which was no way in hell. "You'll all sleep here and share that one bathroom in the corner. You can still attend classes, but you should keep your nights free for the next seven days. We'll be having our, uh, usual practices."

Xiaoting raised her hand. "Can we go back to our places to bring our stuff here?"

Jennie approved the idea before continuing, "As pledges, you also have to do whatever the actives want you to do; if an active says they want a coffee, then you need to be there to get them that coffee; if an active wants you up at four in the morning, then you should be awake and ready."

That's so fucking stupid, Jay thought, although he mumbled a "yes" in tune with everyone else.

"You guys need to wear those pins at all times," she continued. "If someone catches you without your pin, then there will be consequences." She then pulled out a thick binder full of papers, setting it down in front of her. "This binder is full of information on our society. All of the writing here is extremely confidential, and you're not allowed to take pictures of anything or repeat anything here to non-members."

"Are we supposed to memorize that?" Sunghoon asked.

Jennie smiled in response. "Oh, good, you're catching on. The theme for tonight is scholarship, so we want you guys to memorize our history, our oath, our motto, and our roster—names, majors, and birthdays—in order. We won't ask for any more than that since initiation is only a week, but you should be ready for any of the actives to ask questions during our... activities."

The fifteen of them, still exhausted from the trip, nodded blankly in response.

She went on, "And, most importantly, remember that you can't speak a word of anything that happens to someone outside of the Order or your pledge class. By becoming a new member, you must promise to maintain full confidentiality."

Then, she had everyone sign several forms pertained to joining the Order. The confidentiality form, which Jennie made everyone read aloud, sounded rather threatening in fine print. The punishments ranged from meetings with the society to being blacklisted from every organization on campus.

They were then allowed to head back to their apartments to freshen up and pack anything they needed for the next week. Jennie told them they needed to be back at 8 p.m. for their first event.

Although Jay hardly had a clue of what being hazed would be like, he made sure to prepare himself for this turn of events. After some conversations with Heeseung and a deep-dive into Reddit threads, Jay had a suspicion that something like this would happen. He couldn't say he was glad he was right, but he was relieved that he had separate phones and laptops for his detective work. He would lock those up in his apartment, and then he would only take the phone and laptop he used for school.

Jay made sure to inform his client of the situation he was in. He was very transparent about what was going on; after all, he needed to ensure his client that he was taking his work seriously, and this was something that was crucial for the mission.

He also had to tell his friend group about what was going on. Jay was sure Jake, Jungwon, and Riki would lose their minds if they didn't hear from their friend for an entire week. He figured he could simply go without telling his parents, too, but Jay ended up giving his mother a call before he packed for the week.

"What do you think they're gonna make us do tonight?" Heeseung asked. The two of them were walking to the Order's house together (after Jennie specifically instructed neither of them to bring their cars). It was already dark outside because Jay had to wait until Heeseung's class ended. "I bet this is all fun and games for Yeonjun. He's already been hazed by the baseball team."

"The baseball team hazes?"

"Yeah—beer-boxing, eating a goldfish, the polar plunge—all that fun stuff."

Jay had no idea what any of those entailed, but he hoped and prayed that Heeseung meant the snack that smiled back.

After they arrived at the house, the fifteen pledges were lounging in the basement, passing the time by doing homework or talking to each other while Jennie was thirty minutes late. Everyone was speculating what was going on because there seemed to be a lot of noise upstairs. Jay caught your eye across the room and could tell that you wanted to talk to him, but he begrudingly turned his attention back to whatever Yeonjun and Sunghoon were going on about.

When Jennie finally arrived, the door handle slammed against the wall and the room fell into silence almost immediately. A few nervous murmurs were shared as she descended the staircase and stood in front of them.

"The Order doesn't wanna see you guys yet," she said bluntly. "Maybe later tonight."

Everyone was startled, and you were the first to clear your throat and start, "Oh... so should we—"

"We're going out for dinner, but the house needs cleaning. There's cleaning supplies in one of the closets upstairs and trash bags under the sink. Make sure it's done before we're back." She gave the mortified juniors a pleasant smile before adding, "Oh, and you're only allowed to sleep tonight if you get a secret from everyone here by the time we're home."

Everyone was silent for the first few minutes of Jennie disappearing upstairs. Then came the complaints.

"We have to clean?" Xiaoting whined. "But they already have someone doing it for them!"

"How bad can it be?" Eunseok asked. "It didn't seem like it was messy when we got here. None of them seem like they'd be messy people."

"Jennie was thirty minutes late, remember?" Sunoo offered. "They must've been making it messy on purpose while we were waiting down here."

There was a collective sigh of disappointment. Jay, on the other hand, couldn't be happier. He was under the impression that he would be doing grueling tasks or physical punishments, but cleaning wasn't a big deal. As for the secret part, he was sure he could come up with a good enough lie.

"Should we clean first and then regroup after?" Ryujin suggested with a gleam in her eyes. "I think it'd be fun doing the secret sharing one together."

There were murmurs of approval throughout the circle, and then Chaewon said, "Then we should get started now."

To everyone's dismay, Sunoo was right. After they heard the distant chatter and giggles from the seniors' pregame fade out after the door slammed shut, Jay headed upstairs with Chenle to check on the state of the house. He felt deeply sorry to disappoint everyone with the news that the house was, indeed, a mess.

Not just a mess, though. It looked as if it was suffering from the aftermath of a party. There were solo cups littering the ground, tissue paper everywhere, and most things had been knocked off the shelves and cabinets.

They split into teams to tackle each area of the house. Jay and Giselle were assigned to the kitchen where they discovered they had to throw out most of the expired food. Giselle was insistent on keeping everything back where they seemed to belong, but Jay couldn't see the point of keeping inedible food lying around. He figured that Giselle had a better idea of this activity than he did, though, so Jay trusted her gut feeling.

Afterward, the fifteen of them gathered back in the basement. You and Changmin made a trip back upstairs to put the rest of the cleaning supplies away while Jay finally felt the exhaustion start to settle in.

"Do we know when they're coming back?" Changmin asked, nearly flinching when you opened the door to the basement. "Jesus, Y/N, I thought you were Jennie."

"Not Jennie," you affirmed, "but she could get here soon. There's no way any restaurants around here are still open this late."

"Well, then we need to come up with something now," Heeseung said. "I'd like to get some sleep tonight."

"Secrets..." Yeonjun hummed as he pondered. "I don't know. I don't feel like I have any good ones."

You snorted. "Yeah, dude, you're basically an open book."

"There was the syphilis incident," Giselle offered.

"Yuna took care of that one, didn't she?" Yeonjun grimaced before leaning back on his elbows. "I'm sure everyone here knows I tried selling coke to a professor, too."

"We did not know that," Yizhuo said.

"Oh," said Yeonjun, pleasantly surprised, "well, that's my secret, then."

Everyone started taking turns from there, thinking in silence for a few moments before springing up to share their secret. Jay didn't think people were going to get too deep, but the amount of oversharing made him nervous. How was he supposed to come up with something that could compare to any of their secrets? A prince from a foreign country paid for a VIP booth and bottle service for Chaewon; Xiaoting lost her virginity during one of Cara Delevingne's Fourth of July parties; Eunseok accidentally crashed four cars in high school; Karina's parents didn't know about her girlfriend; Ryujin slept with a lead singer from a rock band after meeting him backstage; and Giselle begrudgingly admitted that she once bought sneakers that cost nearly forty thousand to impress Jung Sungchan, who apparently didn't pay any attention to them.

Sunghoon, on the other hand, decided to keep his tame. So tame that Jay wasn't quite sure whether it was real or not. Even you and Sunoo looked slightly uncomfortable with the whole activity once the spotlight was on them. Jay didn't let your shifting eyes before Sunoo's turn go unnoticed.

The group started getting anxious about time after Heeseung spent ten minutes reiterating how he blacked out on the deck of a cruise ship. Thankfully, only Chenle and Jay were left to share.

"My turn now?" Jay asked after Chenle confessed to buying over thirty replacements for his AirPods from an Apple vending machine. "I feel like I don't have any interesting secrets."

"Wait!" Heeseung blurted out excitedly. "You should tell them about that one night we went to the bars and passed out in a bush. Remember? Last quarter—right before Dead Week—"

"Oh, no, we all know about that," Ryujin said quickly, waving down the idea. "Yeonjun made sure everyone and their mom saw that picture."

Xiaoting grinned. "Yeah, we need something good for you, Jay. You've gotta have stories from Seattle."

He wasn't sure how to tell them that his life was relatively boring. All the exciting bits that they would have loved to hear were the ones he couldn't tell them about.

But when Jay thought about his one and only secret that he swore to never tell anyone about, his mouth started to go dry. He couldn't think about anything but the way he felt like tar was spilling into his throat, all thick and suffocating. His head started to spin, and he wasn't quite sure how many minutes of silence he had lapsed into. All he knew was that a room full of people were gawking at him while he could hardly speak.

Say something, he told himself, anything!

"I..." Beads of sweat were running down his back; it was no help that there was hardly any proper air circulation in the basement. "I, uh..."

"Wait," you spoke up loudly, looking at Jay earnestly like you were hoping he would play along. "You never told me the whole story but remember that thing with Jake? The car?"

Clearly, you were grasping at straws for some way to get Jay out of the hole he had dug himself in, but your knowledge of Jay's hometown friends was convincing enough for the rest. They all leaned in closer at the mention of the car, which you spouted out off the top of your head, but it thankfully gave Jay enough time to come back to his senses and start lying smoothly.

"Oh, yeah... I didn't know if that was a good enough secret." He smiled sheepishly before turning to the rest of the group. "I, uh, might have stolen a car with my friend, Jake, when we were fourteen. It was his dad's car, but we made it, like, thirty miles before we got caught."

Amidst the chorus of laughter and outbursts from others about how Jay didn't seem like the time to steal a car (he wasn't), Kim Chaewon let out a giggle that sounded rather forced.

"I thought you were gonna say that you and Y/N fucked during our last night in Monaco," she said in a sugary sweet voice.

The basement went pin-drop silent.

Something was bubbling up in Jay's chest, and he wasn't sure if it was anger or plain exasperation. He looked at you first, wondering if there had been some sort of miscommunication between the two girls, but you looked just as outraged at the declaration. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Yeonjun whispering something in Karina's ear, and Sunghoon's hand was tightly curled into a fist.

Amusement twitched at the corners of Jay's lips and he fixed Chaewon with a confused look. "What? Where did you hear that from?"

"I just figured." She shrugged. "You two were the only ones who didn't go out for drinks with us."

"That doesn't mean we fucked!" you exclaimed.

Honestly, Jay wouldn't have been as pissed about the question if he hadn't been part of the group that helped break Chaewon out of jail the night before. This was how the favor was being returned? He should've just informed the embassy about her detainment if she was going to make absurd speculations about him.

"No, I was just wondering," Chaewon complained, reaching over and fussing with your hand when she saw how upset you looked. "You two got so defensive, though."

"Let's just not make baseless assumptions about each other," Sunghoon chimed in, and Jay could sense the venom in his tone as he spoke.

"Yeah, Jay told me he was tired," Sunoo lied coolly, though he gave Jay an odd look, as if he was curious himself. Jay was thankful that his friends were getting him out of such an uncomfortable situation, but he hated that this was being made known to their entire class now. "He wasn't even awake when we got back from dinner."

"Ah." Chaewon hummed, a simpering smile playing on her lips. "My bad, then."

"Friendship, guys," Yizhuo said lightheartedly, nodding along to her own words. "Men and women can be friends without sexual relations. Jay and Y/N are living proof."

Considering you were moaning his name the day before, Jay wasn't exactly sure the two of you were the right candidates for that one. He appreciated Yizhuo's support, though.

Yeonjun held up the Lysol cleaning spray he forgot to put away in solidarity. "To friendship!"

"To friendship," the rest of them parroted in broken unison.

After Eunseok changed the topic to Jay's heart supposedly only belonging to Heeseung (which stirred up an entire breakdown and analysis from the girls), almost everyone had acted like the misunderstand with Chaewon hadn't happened. Jay met your eyes across the circle and swallowed hard when you were the one to turn away first.

Then, they all fell silent upon hearing the front door open upstairs. Chenle clung onto Jay's bicep with trepidation hanging in his brows.

For a while, they overheard the Order talking amongst themselves in complete silence, hoping to catch them hinting at something about their seven-day process. However, they only seemed to be talking about something funny that Jeonghan did before all of them went quiet, too. Jay exchanged a wary look with Chenle.

Jennie opened the door and walked down the stairs to the basement after a couple of minutes. Everyone straightened up and turned their attention to her.

"They still don't want to see you," she said, folding her arms across her chest. "Did you guys have a good talk?"

"Yep," Giselle spoke up. "We learned maybe a little too much about each other."

She clasped her hands together. "Good! You guys can sleep now, but make sure to keep your ringers on. You never know if anyone's gonna need you."

Jay raised a brow. It couldn't be that easy. She wasn't even going to ask them about each other's secrets? There had to be a catch.

Before anyone had time to grouch, the door swung open again and Wonwoo came downstairs with several bluetooth speakers. He placed one in each corner of the basement as Jennie continued to address the group.

"Uh, so what about the cleaning?" Karina asked. "Was that all good?"

"I guess we'll find out," was the anxiety-inducing response they received instead. "Get some sleep. You guys must be exhausted from the trip still."

Although her words were genuine, Jennie didn't sound sincere in the slightest. Jay was already dreading what the night would bring. Would they call them out and make them run errands? Start making them drink until they puked everything out? Hit them with paddles?

When Jennie and Wonwoo walked back upstairs together, everyone let out a collective, weary sigh.

"I think we should have someone on stand-by in case anyone calls one of us," Giselle suggested. "We can take turns. There's fifteen of us, so we can rotate through, like, two-hour shifts."

"Then we should leave all of our phones on the table," you said. "Whoever's on shift should just pick up the first one that rings."

Everyone was in agreement of the plan. They decided to go in order of where they stood when lined up, so you were first to stay awake. After everyone had gotten ready for bed and laid out their sleeping bags on the floor, they turned off the lights and settled in for the night. The only light in the room was from the glow of your phone screen, but you did your best to make sure it wasn't bothering anyone.

About ten minutes in, when Jay was starting to feel the creeping hands of sleep seize him, a song started playing loudly—unbearable in his ears.

Doses and Mimosas by Cherub. Usually a great listening experience, but Jay felt like clawing his ear drums out right now.

"Y/N, please turn that shit off," Yeonjun called out over the noise. "I literally can't sleep like this."

"Dude, it's not me," you replied. "It's coming from the speakers."

Another collective sound from the fifteen of them; this time, it was a groan. Perhaps all that bonding they did tonight really did pay off.

"It could be worse," Heeseung tried. "At least it's a good song."

No one ended up getting any decent sleep.

Moreover, Heeseung's short-lived optimism pissed Giselle off so much that she ended up taking out her frustration on him by whacking him repeatedly with her pillow.

The worst part of it all was that they received zero calls from the older members, so they were clearly just being toyed with. Jay was sure he would bleed from his ears if he heard Doses and Mimosas one more time. At some point during the night, it got to the point where Sunghoon tried to take the speakers and leave them outside the basement door, only to find out that they had been locked inside. They wound up wrapping several blankets around the four speakers until the music was slightly more muffled.

Jay decided he would attend all of his Tuesday classes because he wanted to spend as little time at the Order's house as possible. He and Eunseok spent virtually the entire day together, only separating when they had to go to class. Someone from the Order must have seen them together because Jay received a text that he and Eunseok needed to get Joshua a bagel.

When they arrived at the house later that night, Giselle had her nose deep in her laptop while she typed away furiously, and everyone else was trying to get some rest in before tonight's activity began.

Jay spotted you curled up in your sleeping bag, your hair falling in your face. Since Sunoo was nearby, typing away on his laptop where his sleeping bag and luggage were stationed, Jay went over to talk to him, asking about his classes and schoolwork while his eyes swiftly drifted to your figure whenever he got an opportunity. During a period of silence between the two, Jay reached over to push your hair out of your face. As soon as his hand neared your forehead, however, the door swung open and he pulled back in an instant.

The fifteen of them scrambled to line up in order. Heeseung had to keep nudging Yizhuo to keep her from nodding off.

"So, there's a few conditions for tonight's activity," Jennie started. "The Order wasn't very impressed with your work yesterday, so tonight's activity is sort of a... scavenger hunt, I'd say? You're gonna be working in pairs of twos and threes—some Order members are gonna take your group to a room in the house, or you might have to go somewhere a little farther off. All you have to do is work together to find whatever it is that you're asking to look for."

Jay saw this coming. He knew that there would be some sort of scavenger hunt at some point. Kryptos was Greek for hidden, after all, so it was only fitting.

Jennie had members of the Order walk downstairs to select two pledges for the activity. After their phones were taken, they disappeared upstairs. Somewhere in the middle, Jeonghan entered the basement alongside Minghao, and Jay had a bad feeling that he was going to be selected.

But, oh, if only that was the extent of his misfortune.

He tried not to pull a face when Jeonghan called for him, of course, but Jay didn't expect for Minghao to call for you, of all people.

He gave Xiaoting his seat, so what was this? Honestly, it didn't matter who chose who, but Jay was sure this was the most disastrous pairing they could have gone for.

With little instructions, Jeonghan and Minghao led the two down the hallway. They made light conversation with each other, laughing at the occasional joke, but you and Jay were utterly silent. If the Order didn't kill him this week, then the tension between you two certainly would. It was strange that he hadn't talked to you much despite sleeping under the same roof, but keeping some distance was for the best. If he got any closer after what happened in Monaco, who knows what would happen.

When they reached a room at the end of the hallway, Jay was surprised to see that Minghao and Jeonghan's faces had turned stony and impassive.

Jeonghan, unsmiling, started, "Alright, recruits—"

"Recruits?" Minghao sneered. "Why would you call them recruits?"

"We recruited them, so they're recruits. It's PEMDAS, Hao."

"Recruits makes it sound like we're training them for the military or—"

"Some of us actually have to go to the military, you insensitive bitch."

"You're not even going to the military, dude. You're going to law school."

"That's basically the military with a six-figure debt."

"Okay, we're getting so off-topic right now." Minghao huffed. "Do you have the handcuffs?"

"Handcuffs?" asked Jay, who was having a much better time when they were bantering and not talking about their activity. "You're handcuffing us?"

"Yeah, but don't get up to any funny business in there," Jeonghan said, pulling out a pair of handcuffs that had your eyes practically bugging out of your skull. If he had a paperclip on him, Jay could probably undo the latch within a few minutes, but he knew that it would be troublesome to explain where he picked that up from. "This is a strictly professional activity; don't get kinky."

Minghao was pinching the bridge of his nose. "I doubt they were even thinking about that."

"You don't know that."

"Are you even supposed to be talking to us this much?" you asked.

Jeonghan and Minghao exchanged a look.

"Probably not," they replied in unison with Jeonghan sounding flippant and Minghao bordering on worry.

"Anyway, your task is to find a book for us in our library," Minghao started, "but we won't tell you what book it is."

Jay frowned. "Then how're we supposed to find it?"

Jeonghan took on a more serious tone when he said, "I'll give you one hint for the code: The discrepancy is intentional."

Jay had no clue what that was supposed to mean. He was better off not asking for help.

"What if we get it wrong?"

"Jennie will decide what happens to you after that."

"Also," Jeonghan continued, holding out a bottle of lychee-flavored soju, "you two have to finish this before we handcuff you."

Jay looked from the bottle, to Jeonghan, to Minghao, and then back to the bottle.

"Hell no," he retorted.

There was no possible way he would be able to think properly after downing half a bottle of soju. Jay was well aware that he needed as much brain power as possible if he wanted to figure out that hint Jeonghan gave him.

His senior laughed, taking the initiative to unscrew the cap before he held out the open bottle in Jay's direction again. "Unfortunately, you don't have a choice." When Jay still refused to take it from him, Jeonghan grimaced in a just-do-it sort of way. "Dude, the other pledges are drinking Hennessy. You should actually be thanking us for getting you lychee soju."

Jeonghan simply didn't know the magnitude of the situation. The last time you and Jay got drunk together, it ended with the two of you falling asleep with your limbs entangled. Jay wasn't particularly enthusiastic about repeating history.

"Why don't you go first?" Jay offered, gesturing for you to take the bottle. "I'll drink whatever you can't finish."

"What a gentleman," Jeonghan gushed, nodding appreciatively as he handed the soju bottle to you.

"Yeah, the complete opposite of you," Minghao spat. "You made me drink the entire bottle last year!"

"And you were fine."

"I blacked out and woke up in the middle of a lake."

This time, you tried handing the soju bottle back to Jeonghan, who refused to take it back from you. There was unmistakable fear in yours and Jay's eyes, and Jay was trying to visualize the distance from the Order's house to the nearest lake.

"What Minghao meant to say was that he woke up on one of those inflatable mattresses in the middle of a lake," Jeonghan clarified.

"That doesn't make it any better," Jay deadpanned.

"It was perfectly safe. They even gave him a life jacket."

"You guys aren't doing any of that, don't worry," Minghao added quickly with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I promise that you'll only have to stay in the library."

Jeonghan sounded impatient when he said, "Now drink."

You reluctantly held the bottle up to your lips and started chugging the liquor down without missing a beat. Jay could see bubbles rise to the top, and he was almost worried that you would finish the bottle in one go if no one stopped you. When you handed the bottle off to Jay, he could see that there was a little over half left. Before you could even wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, Jay started downing the rest of the contents. When the last few drops landed on his tongue, he almost felt like his body was in autopilot.

Before he knew it, the empty bottle was taken away from him and Minghao had handcuffed you and Jay together. His left wrist was linked to your right one, and albeit uncomfortable, he was more focused on making sure his fingers didn't brush against yours.

"Good luck in there. We'll check in every hour," Jeonghan said. He opened the door to the dark room where Jay could barely make out the silhouettes of the bookshelves. Before he closed it, he dropped something cool and solid in Jay's palm; it felt like metal when his fingers closed around it. "You're gonna need that, by the way."

"Uh, the lights aren't turning"—before you could finish, Jeonghan and Minghao slammed the door shut—"on."

"Well," Jay started with a heavy sigh, "fuck."

You felt along the wall for a moment before flicking the light switch on and off over and over again before accepting that the lights weren't going to turn on. They must have cut the power before starting, which must have been to replicate how most other pledges were toughing out their tasks outside.

Before Jay could even think about the task at hand, there was something that had been on his mind for the entire day, and he was pretty sure it was the reason why he still felt so awkward around you.

He started, "What did you tell Chae—"

"Nothing—absolutely nothing about that night," you cut in fiercely. It had clearly been bothering you, too. Jay remembered that you and Chaewon grew a little closer during Monaco; you must have felt just as betrayed about the ordeal. "You know I wouldn't do that."

He sighed. It was a clear misstep on his part. Obviously people would draw all sorts of conclusion when you both were the only ones sitting out of a fun event to stay in the hotel. If Jay had known better, he would've just gone along with the rest of the group to avoid suspicion.

"I believe you," he said sincerely, "but what she did was fucked up."

You frowned. "Yeah, I don't know why she did that. She apologized to me this morning, but it still feels weird. Karina thinks she's being fake."

Jay wasn't one to talk about fake people, so he kept his mouth shut.

"You've been ignoring me," you said, averting your eyes.

"I haven't."

"You have. You ignored me at the airport, you ignored me when we landed, and you ignored me yesterday. You think I wouldn't notice?" When Jay didn't respond, you pressed on, "I can handle you not wanting to get into a relationship or whatever—mind you, I've been led on in my own relationship before—but I thought we were at least friends. Are we not?"

"We are, it's just..." Jay trailed off, sighing out of frustration.

He knew it was his own immaturity pushing you away. He knew he was the one who set the rules, but it was too difficult for him to pretend like nothing had happened. Even now, as you were fuming at him, he could only think of how pretty you looked.

Jay didn't know how to go about this. Getting closer to you was hurting you; staying away from you was hurting you. What the hell was he even supposed to do?

"It's just what?"

He couldn't let you know how he truly felt, otherwise he would be letting you in deeper than he'd let anyone else in. Jay had to push it down—push all the feelings and insecurities beneath the sand—and pretend like he was content with friendship.

"It's nothing," he said, but you didn't seem quite satisfied with that answer. "I just didn't know how you'd feel after that night."

"That's for me to decide," you told him. "You don't get to guess how I feel and act on that."

He looked down. "I know, I'm sorry."

"It's fine, just... don't act like I'm invisible. I don't want things to be awkward between us."

"No, yeah, of course not. We're cool."

You decided to change the topic to the task at hand and ask, "Anyway, what are we even supposed to find? And what did Jeonghan give you?"

Jay turned the object around in his right hand before realizing what the grooves on the top were for. He flicked his thumb across it until he saw sparks, and then he did it more forcefully until a small fire was lit.

"Very generous of them," he said dryly. "I think this is supposed to make up for them cutting the lights."

You tried walking in the opposite direction of Jay, which ended up making you both wince from the pinch of the handcuffs. Jay grabbed your forearm with his free hand and pulled you back to his side, which was probably the only comfortable way they could be situated.

Maybe it was the alcohol starting to make your limbs feel like jelly, but Jay had to grab your shoulder to hold you upright when you nearly stumbled into him. He was starting to wish he and Eunseok got a bagel for themselves because he hadn't eaten enough to absorb the soju.

Jay lit the flame again and held up the flickering light to illuminate part of the bookshelf in front of them. Just as he thought, all of the books were ordered alphabetically by author name, so all they needed to do was figure out the title. But how were they supposed to do that without any clues? Well, technically they had Jeonghan's hint, but Jay had no idea what that meant. The buzz he felt swimming through his veins wasn't helping his case, either.

"What did Jeonghan say again?" he asked you, frowning.

"The discrepancy is intentional," you answered. "Whatever that means."

"No, before that. He said something, like... something like hint for the clue? Hint for the—"

"Code," you finished for him. "Hint for the code."

"Code? Why the fuck would he say code?"

While you were more focused on trying to riddle out the hint itself, Jay was still stuck on the senior's wording. Jeonghan could have very well left it at 'hint' but he specifically used the word code along with it. That had to be some sort of clue that he just wasn't seeing.

"Do you think it's related to Kryptos?" he asked. Suddenly, the fuzziness in his head started to clear up just enough for him to make reason out of his thought process. Jay couldn't see your face very clearly (which was probably a good thing because being this close to you wasn't good for his heart), but, even in the dark, he could see your eyebrows draw together. "The sculpture outside the CIA headquarters—the encryption. It has to be some sort of book that references Kryptos or has that line that Jeonghan gave us, which makes sense why they chose it. They wanted us to find something related to the Order."

Your voice came out in a breath when you said, "You're literally a genius."

"You don't have to stroke my ego."

"No, I'd actually be fucked if you weren't here." Then, your excitement seemed to deflate. "But do you know any books that reference Kryptos?"

"I don't."

"We'd have to read through this entire library to find it. There's no way we'll find it by morning." You let out a groan. "I wish we had our phones on us."

They sat in silence for a while. Jay thought long and hard about how he was going to go about this. You were right; there was virtually no way for either of you two to get through every book and find the exact one that Jeonghan and Minghao were referring to.

Frustrated, he willed the gears in his head to start spinning. There had to be something he could do. There had to be something he could work with.

Jay used the lighter again to illuminate the area in front of him, nudging you to follow him around the room. Nothing was very promising, however; bookshelf after bookshelf, desks with chairs, and two computers in the corner.

Next to the table with the computers was a utility closet, and the shelves were full of tools and miscellaneous items when he opened it. There was even a skull, which Jay hoped was a Halloween decoration. When he looked through some of the boxes, some of them were full of various hardware equipment that was probably left as a resource for whoever was an engineer.

There was nothing that could help him read through all of the books in the library, though.

But what if he didn't need to do that?

When Jay looked from the monitors to the closet, an idea started stirring in his head. After handing you the lighter, he grabbed one of the boxes of tools and dropped it on the ground with a thud. He did the same with the box of hardware, pulling you down along with him when he moved to sit on the floor.

"What're you doing?" you asked, but, despite your confusion, you sounded like you had confidence in whatever Jay was scheming.

"You're right; this would be way easier with our phones, right?" he started to explain, and his tone had an edge of excitement that only happened whenever he pieced something together. "But we have computers."

"That are... dead," you finished for him, uneasy.

"Right, but what if we created our own power bank? We only need to make it functional to last us ten or fifteen minutes. If we have the right materials, then we should be able to pull it off."

Jay, realizing that you were still holding the flame, turned to look at your expression, and his heart did a pathetic flip when he saw the grin on your face.

"Now you're making me feel useless," you teased.

"You're not useless," he insisted firmly. "Here"—he moved the two boxes so that they were in front of you two—"we can figure out what we need together. We're gonna need a, uh... any battery strong enough to power up a PC, a battery charger, a, uh... lithium ion batteries, and a circuit board for the battery management system."

"Jay," you said, "I have no idea what any of those are supposed to look like."

"No problem, I'll just show you." He picked up an electrical brick that was laying on top of the other equipment. He pressed a button to see that it still had some juice left. "Portable battery charger. Let's just hope it has enough power."

He rummaged through the boxes, eventually finding a slightly-damaged circuit board and a car battery that must have been someone's senior project at some point. Jay nearly celebrated, but they were still missing the lithium batteries.

"Are they that important?" you asked.

"Kind of. They power the CMOS chip on the circuit board here, and I don't know if it'll run properly without it."

"So... they're in the PC."

"Yeah, but we can't just take it out of the—" Jay stopped once he realized what you were getting at. "Oh."

Your eyes lit up. "We have two, so we could just open up the second one. It should be fine since the power's cut."

"Oh, you're perfect," Jay breathed out, trying not to pay much attention to how you bit your lip at his compliment. "Help me move the computers to the ground."

With your help, you two managed to haul them to the ground, and Jay organized the tools on the ground. With your assistance, he had you hold the lighter for him to see as he attempted to pop open the hardware with one hand. This wasn't exactly his area of expertise, but he wasn't useless in the realm of CPU architecture.

After removing the screws from the bottom panel and detaching the piece, Jay used the edge of his screwdriver to pry open the battery pack. He spotted the circular battery fixed to the circuit, and he grinned up at you as he pointed to it.

"We got it."

"Excellent work," you praised. "You should seriously reconsider your major."

Jay didn't reply to that. Although he was a fairly good liar, there was nothing he could say that would make him sound genuinely enthusiastic about economics.

Once they had everything they needed to build their makeshift power bank, Jay got right to work. He requested tool after tool from you, struggling at times to fit the hardware together. Thankfully, he started to get the hang of it once you two had a working system. You followed his instructions flawlessly and acted as Jay's left hand for him, so it became a much smoother process.

Jeonghan and Minghao knocked on the door at the top of every hour, which was supposed to be to check if you two had completed the task, but all it did was stress Jay out even more. Moreover, without a proper sense of time, the knocks came out of nowhere—so loud and jarring that Jay caught himself from letting his eyelids droop several times.

"I feel so useless," you complained.

"You're not useless," Jay replied, although he could hardly spare you a glance as he was completely focused on the task at hand. "Hold the lighter a little closer please—thanks."

"I'll just sit here and look pretty."

"You're always pretty."

This time, he made sure not to look at you because he knew that the expression on your face would make him lose whatever sanity he had left.

After a few hours of trial and error—or possibly longer, considering they had no idea what time it was—you and Jay finally seemed to have a functional power bank.

"Moment of truth," he muttered before turning on the power button.

The light glowed blue.

"Yes!" you cheered, letting the fire from the lighter die once the screen glowed white in both your faces. "You did it!"

"We did it," he corrected. A knot in his chest undid itself, and Jay could finally feel the tension letting up. "All we have to do is just find that stupid quote."

It turned out that it wasn't a quote. They typed it out verbatim, and after scrolling through several pages, you pointed out something promising.

"Seriously? It was The Da Vinci Code?" He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms and sighed. "Okay, good, at least we got something."

"Look! It says here that the coordinates on the back cover is a reference to the coordinates in one of the encryptions on the Kryptos sculpture," you said excitedly. "The degree digit was off by one, and when they asked the author about it, he said the discrepancy is intentional. This is it!"

"God, Y/N, I could kiss you right now."

"You could," you murmured shyly.

"Wait, no, I'm not kissing—you know what, I'm kissing your cheek." He leaned in and planted a chaste kiss on your cheek, getting a sappy smile out of you. "There. Now let's find that stupid book."

Thankfully, Dan Brown wasn't hard to find. You pulled his novel from its spot on the bookshelf, stifling a muffled cry of joy with the palm of your hand, nearly jumping up and down from how relieved you were.

"How long has it been since the last time Jeonghan and Minghao checked in on us?" Jay asked.

"Uh, actually—" You flinched, interrupted by the rapping at the door. "Perfect timing."

"We're done!" he called back this time (which felt great to say after all of the "we need more time" requests), and the two seniors went silent for several minutes on end before he heard the door creak open slowly.

"Seriously?" Jeonghan asked, peeking through the crack in the door. "You found the book already? It's only, like, three."

"In the morning?" you asked, horrified.

"No, three in the afternoon," Jeonghan returned, voice laced with sarcasm. "I thought you guys were gonna need the whole night. How did you guys even find it? We thought we made it nearly impossible." He fully opened the door at this point, and his and Minghao's eyes landed on the mess of hardware laying on the floor. Jeonghan looked concerned for a moment before saying, "I know you guys are having a hard time, but you can just talk to us about how the hazing's affecting you instead of breaking our equipment."

"Uh..." Jay looked back over his shoulder. "I can fix that."

"He wasn't breaking anything," you defended him with a might that Jay didn't even have for himself. "It was, like, the most insanely genius thing I've ever seen. He made his own power bank out of whatever was in the closet."

Minghao raised his brows, impressed. "Actually?"

You nodded fervently. Jeonghan folded his arms across his chest and looked from you two, to the hardware on the floor, and then to Jay again.

Jay flushed under the weight over your praise. "It wasn't that big of a deal. I can clean it up now."

Instead, Minghao held out his hand, demanding, "Book."

You handed over the book. Minghao and Jeonghan looked at it with an unreadable expression on both of their faces. For a moment, Jay was afraid that they did all of this for nothing, but then Jeonghan cleared his throat.

"You two are good to head back downstairs," he said. "Don't worry about cleaning up; we need to replace those computers, anyway."

You and Jay held up your wrists that were still linked together, and he asked, "Can you free us?"

"Oh, right."

After you and Jay were finally separated, you both were permitted to go back downstairs to the basement and get some rest. Jay rubbed his sore wrist, but he was too tired to process the pain and irritation.

Jennie was sitting against the wall downstairs, knees pulled to her chest. She had a clipboard at her side and looked as if she had been fighting the urge to doze off.

"Oh, you guys made it!" She gave you both small, celebratory claps that were quiet enough to not wake the others who were sleeping. "You're the third group to finish. You can go wash up and sleep now."

Jay didn't have the energy to inquire about where everyone else was, and it didn't seem like you were either. Karina, Eunseok, Sunoo, Chenle, and Changmin were in their sleeping bags, sleeping soundly. Jay wondered what they had to do, but he was sure everyone would be talking about their tasks tomorrow.

Jay let you use the bathroom first, but he was exhausted beyond belief. His sleeping bag felt like a bed for royalty once he finally laid down. Normally, he needed a few minutes to unwind before he could fall asleep, but his eyes felt heavy as soon as he laid his head on his pillow.

Sometime later, Jay opened his eyes, still groggy and half-asleep, to see Heeseung and Giselle talking to Jennie. They must have just returned as they were both drenched and shivering. He looked around to see that everyone else was tucked in their sleeping bags and fast asleep, so they must have been the last group to return.

Heeseung allowed Giselle to use the bathroom first and trudged over to his sleeping bag, which was right next to Jay's, with a scowl on his face.

Jay smirked at him. "Lake?"

"Lake," Heeseung confirmed with an incomprehensible grumble, which Jay figured was just a string of curses.

"You swam? After drinking?"

"We drank a little, but we dumped most of it out while they weren't looking," he said. "They made us swim to find a fucking pool noodle in the dark, and Little Miss Swim Team told me to go far out while she looked around the shallow water!"

"To be fair, she was in the swim team in, like, middle school."

"Yeah? Well, I learned how to swim today."

"You couldn't swim? Did you even tell her that?"

"No, dude, I was so embarrassed. I just waited for my survival instincts to kick in."

"You could've died!" Jay whispered harshly.

"Yeah, or worse," Heeseung replied grimly, "failed."

Jay was about to tell Heeseung that his priorities seemed to be very out of order, but then Doses and Mimosas started blasting through the speakers that had been moved to the corner of the basement. Several people started waking up and groaning out of frustration.

Heeseung let his head hang, defeated. "I should've just drowned."

Jay wasn't quite sure if the next several days of pledging were easier, or if he had just gotten used to the hazing after the past two days. He also had a feeling that his sleep deprivation was keeping him from processing how stressful and grueling the entire process was.

Wednesday seemed to be more of a professional event. Jennie told them in the morning that they were supposed to complete and prepare a slideshow about their future aspirations and career paths to present to the Order at 8:00 p.m. sharp.

Throughout the school day, Jay and Sunoo were bossed around by several members; Sungjin had them bring him a coffee (which he didn't like the taste of, so he sent them back to fetch another), Seulgi asked them to attend the gardening club's meeting in her place (where Sunoo kept sneezing the entire time because of his allergies), and Taeyong kindly requested a calculator to use during his calculus exam (which felt less like hazing and more like Taeyong simply being forgetful).

Somehow, they managed to finish their slideshow in the time that they were running around for the members. During that night's event, Sungjin took the reigns and had Jennie sit off to the side while he picked on pledges at random to present.

Everyone was so tired that they were hardly paying attention to each other's presentations, but when the projector displayed Sunghoon's slides, which had a picture of Park Pharmaceuticals, the atmosphere grew incredibly tense. Most of the pledges were looking away or ducking their heads to pretend like they weren't witnessing the two brothers feuding.

After Sunghoon gave his presentation, elaborating greatly on how qualified he was for the role, he received polite applause and uncomfortable coughs from everyone. Sungjin plastered on a mocking smile and clapped rather loudly, waving him off to move on to the next person.

"I'm sure the future of Park Pharmaceuticals will be in great hands," Sungjin said at the end, giving Sunghoon a knowing smile, to which he raised a brow at.

When Jay gave his presentation, he detailed how he was unsure of where he could fit in, but he knew that he wanted to help people, so he indulged in a role as a healthcare consultant to develop strategies that improved patient care and reduced financial burdens. While this was a noble reason, it wasn't exactly what Jay actually wanted to do, but since he knew that the Order could potentially help him get placed in an internship with Mercy Health to work alongside your father, he needed to play his cards right.

Everyone clapped at the end of his presentation and Jay even received plenty of compliments from the seniors, but Jeonghan sat there with a frown on his face. Jay was afraid that he would say something risky, but Jeonghan just stayed silent as they moved on to the next person.

That night, Doses and Mimosas plagued them once more.

On top of that, it was freezing in the basement that night. Jay was sure he would get hypothermia by the morning, and it seemed like everyone else thought the same, too, because Yeonjun was complaining for what felt like an hour. Sunghoon had left the basement half an hour ago after being called on by Sungjin to run some trivial errand, and Jay was honestly feeling jealous that Sunghoon got to be somewhere that wasn't the sub-zero basement.

Several of the girls tried huddling together for warmth with chattering teeth. Heeseung, who had enough, unzipped his sleeping bag and sat up.

"Jay, let's cuddle."

"No," he replied gruffly.

Heeseung shoved Jay's shoulder with his foot. "C'mon, let me in your sleeping bag."

"No. You're cold as shit."

"You're cold, too!"

"You're gonna disrupt the warmth I've generated in here."

"That's disgusting. Just let me inside."

With a reluctant sigh, Jay unzipped his sleeping bag to let Heeseung inside. His friend zipped it up again to the best of his abilities and proceeded to wrap an arm around Jay.

"Gay as hell," Yeonjun remarked.

"We're wearing socks," Heeseung and Jay replied together.

The next morning, Jay found out that no one had been called by any of the seniors except Sunghoon, who had been targeted by his older brother all night. It was unfair, but everyone knew better than to call out the president himself.

Jay's Thursday had been going smoothly until he returned to the house after his classes. It was then when he realized that his badge was missing. Changmin helped Jay look for it all around the basement and offered to go back to campus to look for it. They only had an hour left until they were required to be back, but Jay and Changmin made a run for it.

"We need to retrace your steps," Changmin said. "Tell me all the places you went to today."

"I went to class," Jay started, looking up as he tried to recollect his morning, "and then I went to the food court... then the library... then the bowling alley... then I went to my other class."

"Fuck were you doing at the bowling alley?"

"Uh... bowling."

He liked to take advantage of the recreational activities that Yale offered to its students.

They searched each area thoroughly, but there was no sign of his badge and Jay's hope in finding it was wavering. With ten minutes left until they had to be back, they were forced to give up on the search. Changmin offered to back him up when Jay was going to receive his inevitable punishment, but Jay told him that he would take the full blame since it was on him, anyway.

Strangely enough, when he told Jennie about losing his pin, she simply jotted something down on her clipboard and nodded. That somehow worsened the dread Jay felt.

The rest of the night was oddly enjoyable. They had a game night with the seniors, which consisted of several bonding activities and icebreakers that lightened the tension they felt around the active members. Jay was so glad that he wasn't being ordered around for a night that he forgot about how anxious he was over his missing badge.

To top it off, they got to sleep early and didn't have to listen to Doses and Mimosas throughout the night, too. Giselle even cried tears of joy as she complained about her newfound hatred for the song.

Then, it was finally Friday, but the past four days felt like they were a month long to Jay. He hoped the next three days would fly by, but the day was already feeling long as he and Karina had been nagged by Taehyung and Baekhyun to clean the living room. Jay decided not to go to campus for the day so that he could sleep in a little longer, but he regretted his decision soon after.

He tried to come up with an excuse to head back to campus with Karina, but they wound up cleaning the entire first floor before they could even get the chance to complain. Eventually, the seniors started targeting Sunoo and Chaewon, so Jay slipped away to catch up on lost hours of sleep.

Later, when it was time for their activity that night, Jennie's instructions were so vague that all of the pledges were too befuddled to ask for clarification. Thankfully, Sunghoon took the initiative to question her.

"You want us to find something to impress the actives?" he asked, brows furrowing. "Find what?"

"Anything. You just have to be back in two hours." Jennie shrugged. "We'll split you guys into two groups. How about just the boys versus the girls? Whichever group gets the most votes from the actives gets to sleep upstairs in the living room."

Everyone knew what that meant: no ceaseless repetition of Doses and Mimosas throughout the night. There was a competitive fire blazing in most of their eyes now.

"So, there's no limitation on what we can bring?" Yeonjun asked.

Jennie shook her head. "Nope, and you can go anywhere you'd like, as long as you're back within the time limit. Jeonghan and Jaehyun have offered up their cars for each team—just don't crash them."

Jay, the self-proclaimed car-stealer, was deemed the driver for the boys' team. They were instructed to leave at 10:00 p.m. at the same time, but Sunoo and Jay were starting to feel nervous because the girls seemed so much more prepared than they were. Apparently, the girls knew exactly what they were going to retrieve while Jay had just been watching Eunseok and Heeseung play chopsticks for the past fifteen minutes.

"I wanna go ask them, but there's no way they're gonna tell us what they're gonna bring back," Sunoo mumbled to Jay. "Maybe we should just bring back ear plugs and pray we can sleep through another night of that damn song."

Jay's eyes went wide for a moment before he glowered. "How did we never think of ear plugs until now?"

'I doubt they'd do much. The speakers are so fucking loud."

"We should just buy hammers and smash them."

"We could do it in front of the seniors, too. That'll be sure to impress them."

When it was time for them to leave, Jay was starting to worry about how eight people would fit in Jeonghan's car. To his relief, Jeonghan owned a 7-seater SUV, so they just needed four people to squeeze in the middle row.

Heeseung claimed shotgun, so Changmin, Yeonjun, Sunoo, and Eunseok took the middle row while Chenle and Sunghoon took the two seats in the back. Still, even though they were situation, no one had even come up with a proper plan on what they were going to bring back for the seniors. They sat in the parking lot and watched the girls drive off in Jaehyun's car in complete silence before Yeonjun spoke up.

"Let's steal a goat," he said.

The rest of them turned to gawk at Yeonjun with incredulous looks on their faces.

"A goat," Sunoo echoed.

"I was gonna suggest a cow, but I don't think we have space for a cow."

"And you think we have space for a goat?"

"Well, we have more space for a goat than a cow."

"I don't think that should be the deciding factor here."

"It is a valid deciding factor. Also, University of Connecticut has goats. Wouldn't it be sick if we stole something from another campus?"

They all stared at each other for a moment before Jay reluctantly put in the directions for University of Connecticut.

Chenle laughed, astonished. "We're actually stealing a goat? From UConn?"

"We'll just borrow it," Yeonjun reasoned. "I mean, who's even gonna notice?"

Despite Yeonjun sounding borderline insane, everyone was on board because, to be perfectly honest, it would be funny if they stole a goat, and they were sure the seniors would appreciate the sentiment. Whatever the girls did wouldn't compare to the entire mission the boys were carrying out to kidnap a goat. But if they failed, it would just remain a good memory, at least.

Since University of Connecticut was relatively close, Jay only had to drive for ten minutes until they reached the campus. They just barely managed to get through three songs during the drive, all of which were being sung off-key by the men. As Jay drove along the edge of campus, he finally spotted the livestock that were fenced in.

Yeonjun, Heeseung, Eunseok, and Changmin agreed to be the ones to bring back the goat. The rest of them stayed in the car and kept an eye out. Jay was glad he stayed in the car because, aside from not wanting to be anything more than an accomplice to this crime, he finally got the chance to rant about how grueling their initiation had been so far.

Chenle was the first one to bring it up, and as soon as he did, Sunoo and Sunghoon started complaining, too. Jay joined in after, but he had been thinking the exact things they had.

Thirty minutes later, they saw the four boys walking back to the car with the animal in Yeonjun's arms. Jay honestly didn't want to know how they managed to get inside the pen, but he ended up finding out anyway after Eunseok gave them the whole storytime.

Then, Jay took a closer look at the animal.

"Dude," he said flatly, "that's a baby sheep, not a goat."

The four of them froze before leaning closer to the sheep to get a better look at it.

"Oh, fuck," Heeseung muttered.

Eunseok shrugged. "I mean, a sheep's still fine, right?"

"No, no, no," Sunghoon warned with a firm shake of his head. "Stealing a goat is funny, but a baby sheep's just fucked up."

"You gotta return it, dude," Chenle said. "Bring back an actual goat."

It took another thirty minutes for them to reunite the sheep with its flock and steal an actual goat, which Heeseung claimed they cross-verified several times before carrying to the car. The goat, which they named Rectangle (because of the pupils), bleated at random throughout the car ride, which they speculated was it trying to socialize.

Since they had a good forty minutes left until they were supposed to return, they tried teaching Rectangle tricks until it was time to head back to the Athenaeum. Unfortunately, the goat did not seem to possess the mental capacity to follow their commands.

When they pulled into the parking lot, the girls were already back. They were all gathered around Jaehyun's car, and the seniors were making conversation with them as they waited for Jay's group to come back. After they parked and got out of Jeonghan's car, the seniors requested for them to present what they brought.

"We wanted to find something that symbolized the Order," you started, turning to pull something heavy out of the trunk, "so, we pulled some strings and made this plaque with the owl of Athena. We designed it ourselves, too, since Yizhuo's dad owns a steel company, so you guys can keep it for the house."

The boys exchanged horrified looks. Their faith in Rectangle was slowly diminishing by the second.

The seniors looked incredibly impressed with the girls' present as they ran their fingers over the pattern and gushed over how perfectly it matched their society. Jennie looked incredibly proud from the sidelines, and Jay could only think about how the boys were gonna wipe that expression off her face once she saw the goat they stole.

"Alright, it's your guys' turn," Sungjin said with a light laugh. "This is gonna be a hard one to beat, though."

"Oh, uh... so," Sunoo started sheepishly, looking back at where Rectangle was chewing on a seat belt. It let out a pathetic bleat that had some of the seniors trying to peer into the car. "We got you guys a goat from UConn."

Changmin picked up Rectangle and placed him in front of everyone, letting it trot around and make low, muttering sounds. For a while, everyone just stared at the goat in disbelief until a few seniors burst into laughter at the sight of the animal. A few of them started petting it affectionately.

While no comments were made to praise them for bringing back a goat, Jay was satisifed that they weren't scolded, at least. The Order turned away to discuss who would be the winning team while the girls started cooing over Rectangle. Jay was certain that their goat was going to be the only real winner tonight.

"Alright, we've made our decision," Sungjin announced. "We appreciated that both teams took different approaches. However, there can only be one winner, and while the goat was funny, we feel that it's only fair that the girls are rewarded for the effort they put into this task."

While Jay was disappointed, he, too, thought it was only fair that the girls won. He would've felt a lot worse if the guys won for something that required much less effort.

Thus, they were sent back to the basement while the girls got to sleep in the living room. Before that, though, they were sent back to return Rectangle. This time, all eight of them got out of the car to say their goodbyes to the goat. Yeonjun was tearful when he realized that Rectangle's friends would never believe what just happened to it.

When they were back in the basement and washing up before bed, Sunghoon supplied, "They technically liked our goat, so maybe they won't torment us tonight?"

Heeseung grimaced. "Hopefully."

As if on cue, Doses and Mimosas started blasting through the speakers, like it was taunting them, and the eight of them groaned in broken harmony.

The girls were sent back downstairs early in the morning, and Jay pressed his face deeper into his pillow so that he wouldn't have to see them and feel jealous about how they got to sleep peacefully.

There were only two days left, and Jay was ready for everything to be over. When they all went out for lunch together, Jennie texted the group chat that they would get to have a free Saturday with no activities planned for the night. It was music to everyone's ears, of course, but they couldn't help but feel that tomorrow would be worse.

The seniors weren't around the house much, either. Jay dragged Sunoo to the library with him in case they came back and started hazing the pledges again, but he never received any texts telling him to head back to the house.

That night, however, Doses and Mimosas was turned up higher than ever before. Jay didn't even think it could get any louder, but the sound was amplified to the point where he felt the bass buzzing through his body, creeping up his legs and traveling to his skull. He felt like his ears were going to split, but it was their last night. He could make it through one more night. He just needed to close his eyes and tune out the noise.

Jay hardly got a wink of sleep, probably passing out for thirty minutes out of pure exhaustion, but he kept jolting awake whenever the bass got louder. He felt like a shell of a person at this point, so he just rolled over onto his stomach and put his pillow over his head.

Sunday was chock-full of the Order members calling and texting them to run useless errands. Jay had to take Sehun's laundry to a laundromat despite the house having its own room with five washers and five dryers. That wasn't even the most ridiculous of busy work; Eunseok, Karina, and Heeseung were tasked to scrub the second floor with toothbrushes, you and Giselle were sent out on a scavenger hunt (to look for items that Jay was pretty sure didn't even exist), Yeonjun had to transcribe a thirty minute long voice recording that was hardly comprehensible with multiple voices overlapping; and Yizhuo, Sunghoon, and Ryujin had to wash everyone's cars.

By nightfall, Jay was just glad that they were in the final stretch. He was ready to be done with the entire process, and he was banking on his body holding out for tonight before he collapsed from exhaustion.

"Tonight should be fast, depending on how well you guys do," Jennie told them with an inauspicious edge that had half of the pledges looking fed-up already. This time, all of the seniors were gathered behind Jennie, too, and all of them wore expressionless faces. "Have you guys heard of a Centurion?"

Before Jay was about to rattle on about its historical context in Rome, Chenle had already answered. Jay was glad that he didn't say anything because it happened to be a drinking game—not whatever Jay was prepared to explain.

"We're gonna be doing something a little different," Jennie continued. "Since there's fifteen of you, we're going to be doing a double Centurion, so you have to drink two hundred shots of beer within one hundred minutes." Before anyone could grouch, she added, "And you have to answer our questions as you drink. I hope you guys have been studying."

He figured Jennie had been referring to the information she gave them a week ago. The problem was, although Jay had memorized everything, he wasn't sure how well his memory would serve him after how tired he was.

Sungjin and Joshua carried over the table that they would be playing the game on. Jennie and Doyeon started pouring beer in the cups that Jisoo and Jaehyun were setting out on the table. Some of the cups looked a little more than a shot, but what worried Jay was if he would be in the right state of mind to answer questions toward the end of the game.

"We should just go in order," you suggested. "That's like—what?—thirteen shots between all of us? One shot per thirty seconds, so we're gonna have, like, an eight minute break between shots. If someone can't drink any more, one of us can drink for them."

It was a solid plan, and everyone was fairly optimistic about it until the game began. As you downed the first shot, Jennie had asked the first question, looking at you specifically for an answer. You stammered for a few seconds, looking at her blankly as you floundered for words. Since you were drinking, you were hardly paying attention to what she was saying, expecting someone else to answer her question while you downed the shot. Eventually, the answer seemed to come to you, but Jennie simply waved her hand to silence you, and she noted something down on her clipboard before moving on to Yeonjun.

Yeonjun managed to get the question about the Order's motto wrong as well, and then they moved on to Giselle without missing a beat, who also got her question wrong. Jay didn't even hear his question, and when he asked if they could repeat it, he was ignored and they moved on to Changmin.

This continued on and on, with everyone getting more and more tipsy with each round. It didn't help that all of them were running on way less sleep than they should have gotten this week, so nobody was in the right state to be answering questions at rapid speed while downing shots of beer.

Closer to the last round, they had gotten under half of the questions correct, but the Order started asking random questions in place of their society's history. They seemed to have run out of things to ask, so they were asking obscure questions that threw the pledges off before they had time to think of an answer.

"What car does Wonwoo drive?" Jisoo asked, rousing snickers from the rest of the members.

("Honestly," Jeonghan muttered from beside Joshua, "I don't even know what car Wonwoo drives.")

"A Mercedes," Ryujin, who had been tasked to clean the cars earlier in the day, answered breathlessly as she was twelve shots deep.

"Model?"

She pressed her lips together. "I don't know."

Incorrect.

By the end of the activity, everyone was spent and tired. All of the pledges were tipsy, holding onto each other to keep upright and leaning their heads on each other's shoulders. You and Giselle had your heads on each of Yeonjun's shoulders, who had his held tilted back and his eyes closed.

"Alright, you're done," Jennie announced loudly, giving them a glimmer of hope for a single moment before her next words had the pledges crumbling apart again. "Time for punishments."

"Punishments?" you asked scornfully.

Jennie started listing off various things that the pledges were getting punished for one-by-one; Heeseung and Eunseok got twenty push-ups for not leaving the floor spotless, all of the boys got fifty sit-ups for losing to the girls, everyone got five sit-ups for each question they got wrong during the Centurion activity, and several other petty reasons that Jay couldn't even find reason in.

"And," Jennie said in a clipped tone, "one hundred push-ups each for Yeonjun, Giselle, Eunseok, Ryujin, Chaewon, Y/N, Jay, Heeseung, and Sunghoon."

Heeseung gawked at her. "For what?"

"For your little run-in with the police in Monaco."

"You knew about that?" Yeonjun asked, his voice pitched an octave higher as he had completely sobered up at her words.

"Of course I did. Now get started, and please do it together so no one has to start over."

They collectively agreed to get the push-ups over with first, which went smoothly for the first thirty or so, but then a few of them were starting to get tired. Jay was glad that Sunghoon, Heeseung, and Yeonjun had been dragging him to the gym every day, but even he couldn't keep up once they hit fifty.

On top of his fifty push-ups over the goat debacle, Jay still had to do another hundred for the Monaco incident, so he had to keep going even after a few of the pledges were finished. His wrists felt like they were burning by the time they were counting off numbers so high that he couldn't think straight anymore. His elbows quivered as he lowered himself to the ground.

Clearly, he wasn't the only one struggling. Giselle was almost crying through her push-ups and he could hear Heeseung's winces of pain from his left.

"I can't do it anymore," Karina rasped once her limbs gave out. "I'm done. I can't do this."

Jennie looked extremely worried, but before she could say anything, Sungjin calmly said, "If you want a seat in our society, you have to keep going."

They pushed on with burning lungs and heavy pants. The only reason Jay knew which number he was on was because Sunghoon was counting them off, but his voice was starting to sound distorted and far-off. Jay just wanted to let his elbows buckle so that he could feel the cool ground against his cheek and let his sore limbs rest.

He then felt someone's shoe wedge itself between Jay's feet to keep them from slipping. Jay looked under his arm to see that it was Sunoo, who had finished his push-ups and was waiting against the wall for them to finish. Grateful, Jay lowered himself to the ground again with trembling arms.

When Jay was finally done, hardly managing to keep himself from toppling over, Jennie fixed him with a curious look and said, "Oh, right. Jay, you have an extra hundred for losing your badge."

Jay's heart dropped.

He already felt like he was going to die. How could they make him do more when he was already on the verge of passing out?

"Another hundred?" he squawked out. His shoulders sagged and his chest was heaving. "I can't—I feel so... there's no way."

"We tried to find his pin, but we couldn't," Changmin tried defending him, but it didn't seem like a reasonable enough excuse for the Order. "We retraced his steps and everything."

"He shouldn't have lost it in the first place," Sungjin replied calmly and unsympathetically.

Jay was getting into position again when you spoke up, "I'll split his push-ups with him. I'll do fifty."

He whipped his head around to look at you, shocked. You looked like you were on the verge of fainting yourself, so why would you put yourself through that? Still, your resolution was unwavering, and the Order didn't seem to have an opposition to the pledges helping each other out.

"I'll split the push-ups, too," Changmin offered. "I was the one who went with him and still couldn't find the badge."

"I'll do it, too," Sunoo said, dragging himself up to get in formation again. "I went to class with Jay and didn't even notice his badge was missing."

A tide had turned. Even though no one had anything to do with Jay losing his pin, every pledge started offering to split the push-ups. Everyone, despite being pushed to their limit, offered to help him with something that was completely his fault.

And Jay felt a warmth in his heart that spurred him to keep going. A dangerous sort of affection, really, because he was touched beyond belief. Never did he think that he would feel such closeness to people he was only supposed to consider as subjects of interest.

Now, they only had to do six each. Jennie hid a smile behind her clipboard as she watched them line up once more to power through their last interval of push-ups.

"Okay, you're done," Jennie called out afterward, and all of them crumpled to the ground at once. Jay felt like his chest was about to explode. "Time for sit-ups."

Jay got seven questions wrong during the Centurion round and several other demerits from the Order members for various offenses, so he had a good number of sit-ups to do, but it would be much easier than the push-ups. However, he was already so exhausted that he was sure his body would give out soon. Sunoo clapped him on the back to signal that they were doing their sit-ups against the wall, and Jay turned around with great effort to lay on his back and press the toes of his shoes against the wall.

Sunghoon counted them off again, his voice no louder than a breath, and Jay heard several grunts of pain as they raised themselves up. Jay's core ached even from the first one. His blood was rushing in his ears and his pulse was so intense that he could feel it pounding in every artery.

Jay thankfully didn't have as many sit-ups than he had push-ups, so he was finished relatively sooner than most. His sweat-matted hair was all over his forehead, and he pushed it back once he was sitting upright again, leaning back on his elbows. Several pledges were still going in slow, painful efforts. Jay got to his feet and went to stand off to the side, but he noticed you struggling and looked over at Jeonghan, who grimaced at him in an if-you-must sort of way.

He then sat behind you, ignoring your bewildered looks, and he placed a hand on the small of your back to help you raise your body with each sit-up. The other pledges who completed their sit-ups decided to help the others, too, after seeing what Jay was doing. At some point, Jay was practically pushing you upright, as if you were some lifeless doll, and you just went along with his motions.

"Finished?" Jennie called out once the last person, Yizhuo (who had the most sit-ups racked up), had finished. "Get up. You guys are gonna do wall sits until you can say our oath in perfect unison."

Jeonghan sent Jay a sympathetic look and a nod that seemed to tell the junior that this was it. They would be done after this.

Jay held onto that.

Everyone was sluggish and exhausted, both physically and mentally, but they all dragged themselves to their feet like zombies and got in position again.

"Man, this is so fucked up," Heeseung got out, moaning feebly from how his muscles ached.

"Support each other, if you need to," Jennie said, looking away quickly when she saw how several of them were doubling over to catch their breaths.

Jay noticed that Giselle put her leg under his to support his weight, so he did the same for Changmin, who was to his left. Down the line, everyone seemed to catch on and get in the same position. Each pledge had a leg under the person next to them to keep them upright, except you, who was unfortunately the first in line.

Each time someone said the wrong word or fumbled over their words, they were yelled at to start over again. Jay felt like they had been there for nearly an hour, and his legs were starting to give out. You and Karina fell to the ground at some point, and they were simply asked to stand up and keep going.

Eventually, by some stroke of luck, the fifteen of them managed to recite their oath in perfect unison with even their labored panting syncing up.

Jennie burst into tears by the end, so Sungjin had to speak up in her place, "You're officially our newest delegation. Welcome to the Order."

Jay heard several of the seniors clapping and cheering for them, but Giselle's leg gave out under him, and he collapsed to the ground along with her. Everyone else seemed to be on the floor, too, and plenty of them were crying with what Jay suspected was partly their joy over being done and partly because they were so spent from the physical exertion.

Jeonghan helped Jay up to his feet and asked, "You good?"

Jay nodded dumbly. "Just glad I never have to listen to Doses and Mimosas again."

Jeonghan laughed, and when he handed Jay a bottle of water, Jay chugged it so fast that the bottle was empty in seconds. His limbs still felt like they were buzzing and sore, but he could at least stand upright without falling over.

Jennie was still sobbing into her hands, being comforted by Jisoo and Irene, who were also secretly recording the sight with amusement drawn across their faces. She seemed more distressed over the whole ordeal than Jay was, but what he hated the most was that he genuinely felt a sense of fondness toward her and the others after the entire experience. As the juniors pulled him in for a group hug, he knew that their one week had pulled them all together so close that Jay was going to feel miserable when he would eventually have to betray their trust.

"I'm gonna sleep forever," Giselle said loudly, mostly to drown out how Heeseung was making fun of her for crying earlier. "I'm gonna go home and sleep forever."

Jay looked around to find you, and then he walked around the others to tap your shoulder. You immediately turned around, and he asked, "Are you okay? You were the only one who didn't get any support during wall sits."

"Yeah, I'm fine," you said with a shaky grin. "My legs feel like they're on fire, though. But, apparently, my dad had it worse when he joined, so I can't complain that much."

Jay didn't see much reason in that. To what extent were you expected to live up to your dad's standards? He knew it wasn't the time to press you for answers, though, so Jay simply mustered a smile for you and rubbed your back in soothing circles.

Now that he was in the Order, your father was his next target.

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SUMMARY �� private investigator jay park just wants to complete his mission quietly and move on with his life. you, his new assignment who keeps consuming his thoughts, don't make that very easy for him.

AUTHOR'S NOTE ▸ okay Wow i got a little too ahead of myself here but if you made it to the end, thank you for reading this 15k word chapter !! i did Not expect it to get this long and although it might Feel a little filler-y, it was necessary trust !

TAG LIST ▸ @zdgx1 @smouches @heesdazed @teawithbucky @leep0ems @peachpie4you @niniissus @kgneptun @jaeyunluvr @zerasari @sophiko22 @iselltulips @hoondiors @baekhyunstruly @jays-property @woninluv @heerinnie @fakeuwus @yizhoutv @theothernads @y4wnjunz @dammit-jjk @en-happiness @mari-oclock @soonyoungblr @jakeslvt @taetaenic @jebetwo @fairysungx @hsgwrld @shmooooo @ineedsomezzz @mrowww @enha-stars @seongclb @lockburn-castle @alyssajavenss @enczen @calumsfringe @w3bqrl @luvyev @uhsakusa @luvnicho @wildflowermooon @navsnct @hooniesuniverse @enhalov @enhypens-baby @isawritesss

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mokulule · 3 days

Text

The Number You Have Called Cannot Be Reached - Part 12

First | Masterlist

Ship: Dead on Main (Danny/Jason) Fandom: DP x DC Summary:

Danny is just trying to build a portal home, becoming a thief was just an unfortunate side effect of that goal. Now if only this vigilante family would just leave him alone. Especially Red Hood - the semi retired crime lord whose ghost-like presence keeps drawing Danny to him.

Part 12:

Danny asked himself why he even bothered with this game of cat and mouse with the bats. They already knew he could go intangible, so what was the point?

It was another day, another chase; another case of Red Helmet not showing up. This was the third time, not counting when he’d sneaked back invisibly and intangibly in the morning for another roll of heavy duty cable after that first night Red Helmet hadn’t shown.

Was he alright? Was he hurt? Had he just given up?

His core cried out in sorrow lamenting the connection he couldn’t make. It didn’t matter that he never had a connection to begin with, now he felt not only lost, but abandoned.

It was stupid.

He didn’t want to do this anymore. Yet here he was, playing chase. He’d already lost two vigilantes tonight, but they kept popping up like wack-a-moles. His current tail was Sunshine, who was a rare participant, he’d only showed up recently but unlike the others he had powers, which made losing him in the traditional sense hard.

He should just leave, but what if Red Helmet showed?

Also it was habit. Habit was a comfort to his hurting core. Ghosts were creatures of habit and mischief. The chase even while it exhausted him was the only bit of play he had. It used to be, early in his stay in Gotham, that he actually had fun. He wasn’t sure at what point it became more habit than fun. It had probably been a gradual sneaking thing.

When Danny first arrived in this world through a training accident and a random portal, he hadn’t been worried. Sooner or later he would find a new natural portal to return to the Ghost Zone and from there he could find home. Natural portals happened all the time, they were like vents, opening and closing to relieve pressure and keep the balance between worlds. Danny had a knack for finding them. He didn’t know whether it was due to dying in a portal or because of his adventures with the Infi-map, but it was a skill he’d developed. So while a couple of years prior he would have been worried about going through a portal, not so much anymore.

He didn’t recognize the city he landed in, it was a regular metropolis with towering skyscrapers, chrome and glass. One building had a giant globe on top with a sign pronouncing it the Daily Planet. Flying about invisibly and people watching, he’d first come to the conclusion he had to be in the future. The technology was just way too advanced when it came to what every day people had in their pockets.

His sightseeing had taken him to a place called Star Labs - how could Danny not check it out with a name like that? And he was not disappointed. They seemed to be doing a little bit of everything; medical research, weapons, strange things he didn’t even know what was (and Danny knew strange things), but best of all spacecraft.

He’d been looking at a nanotech self-repairing coating for a future spacecraft when it happened; Alarms blared. The lights changed to red. Alert, Danny had remained still and invisible. He wasn’t necessarily the cause of the alarm, and making a sound now would only make him the cause of alarm for the suddenly nervous scientists in the room.

They all waited to see what would happen and eventually the doors opened admitting white armored security guards - the color immediately sent his hackles rising, the lights flickered momentarily but thankfully nobody noticed. All were focused on the security guards scanning the room with their anonymous visors.

Someone pointed towards the corner and guns were raised. The poor scientist standing there raised his hands frantically babbling, begging that he hadn’t done anything, please don’t shoot- The stream of words became just that to Danny, like water rushing in his ears.

They weren’t pointing at the scientist; they were pointing at Danny.

He moved, only just in time, flying up through the ceiling. The guns whirred behind him, with a high pitched charging sound and not like normal gunshots at all, no too much like-

Heat erupted in his side and he screamed. It took all his willpower to keep his invisibility, to keep his form. His head snapped around frantically, even in a new room he saw only armored white closing in. Place was crawling with them. A wail was building in his throat. No! He was in a city, he couldn’t! Panic fueled him as he kicked off the floor in a burst of speed, up up up. Floor after floor until the evening sky opened up above him in burning reds and oranges.

He hadn’t stopped, he’d sped away from the city.

At present Danny pressed himself against a wall, watching Sunshine reconvene with Purple from his hiding place above them. Seeing the two vigilantes were busy he sneaked carefully around the corner of the building to put the building between them. He kept in the shadow of a pipe as he started jogging.

Thinking about Star Labs he couldn’t help but touch a hand to where the energy blast had hit him - he’d scarred. It hadn’t been ectoplasm based, Danny would have known, but if they could hurt him, they could find a way to capture him, to keep him captured.

That was why Danny had tried to limit the usage of his powers in Gotham. If he could pass for just a regular thief, maybe someone with cloaking tech, If they guessed what he was they would be one step closer to- No! He couldn’t think about that, he needed to keep his head in the game.

The midget sprung down in front of him, and Danny changed directions. How many of them were out here today? And with how many what were the odds Helmet wasn’t out here somewhere? Danny was tiring. But maybe there was hope?

His thoughts drifted again as he ran.

When Danny had taken a moment to catch his breath after his escape from Star Labs, he’d started to look for a portal. He’d had enough of this future, but he hadn’t found a single one. He’d flown around trying to sense one until he’d been forced to set down in a forested area, transforming from the exhaustion.

He hadn’t understood then why he was so tired.

Strangely breathless he’d pulled out his phone and called Tucker. If he could trust one person to always be near his technology it was Tucker - The number couldn’t be reached. Next he’d tried Sam, then Jazz, then Mom and Dad, none of the numbers could be reached.

Terrified of what could have happened to them, Danny had started walking. He needed somewhere he could access technology. He’d discovered the burn on his side had carried over to his human form, because his shirt stuck to the blistering mess. He’d been in too much shock to notice the pain. But as he walked it became more and more apparent. He didn’t have anything in his backpack to dress the wound.

As evening encroached, Danny had come upon a road. He picked right for his direction, walking in the leafy underbrush on the side of the road. The road was long and straight and relatively well travelled even as evening moved on into twilight, which was already pretty dark due to the shadows of trees. The now fewer cars had blinding headlights and Danny was careful to look away from them - not just for his poor eyes’ sake, but he really didn’t need to cause an accident, he never knew when his eyes would decide to reflect light like some sort of cryptid roadside ghoul.

Danny was exhausted - too exhausted, but he tried to ignore the tumble of worried thoughts that wanted to be released from where he’d chained them up. He was considering just finding a soft spot to lie down for a nap, but some niggle of fear he couldn’t explain told him he might just be more exhausted if he stopped. No, walking on was safer. He needed to get to a place where there were people, and he didn’t risk getting mauled by wildlife because he was tired.

A truck stopped just ahead of him after a crescent moon had risen in the sky. Danny felt more full dead than half dead as he walked up to the truck. The window was rolled down.

“My wife’ll kill me for picking up hitchhikers so near Gotham if you’re a serial killler,” a rough female voice spoke from the cabin.

Danny blinked. What? He managed to say, “uh?”

The driver leaned over far enough that she could open the door and actually see him. She had short cropped curly hair, a nose that looked like it had been broken before and judging dark eyes that swept up and down Danny’s arguably pitiful state of being.

“Well, are you?” She enunciated.

“What?” “A serial killer?” Danny held his arms out helplessly. “I’m not, but if I was, that would also be my response, ma’am.”

She huffed a short bark of laughter. “So you got a bit o’ sass. Jump in then. Heading to Gotham?”

“Sure.” Danny replied, and climbed up. He’d never heard about a town by that name, but it was the second time the lady had mentioned it and who really knew where he was except somewhere in the US. He buckled in under watchful eyes, and in moments they were off.

“So you from somewhere in the Midwest?”

“Illinois, ma’am.” It was a safe enough topic, and Danny was so relieved to sink into soft seats and relax. His backpack was safely between his knees, even if it didn’t hold much of value and the cabin warm but not too warm.

“What brings you all the way out to Jersey?”

“Would you believe me-“ Danny covered his mouth as he was a assaulted by a yawn. “Sorry. If I said I don’t know?”

She glanced away from the road towards Danny momentarily. “Wouldn’t be the strangest thing.”

She reached into a cooler box and pulled out a sweating can that she handed to him. “Here, you’re pale as a ghost.” He accepted the can with shaking hands. Only his heart had jumped at the comparison, not his whole body, he reassured himself. He frowned thoughtfully as he examined the can. Zesti Cola the cursive lettering declared.

“Is this a local brand?” Danny asked thoughtlessly as he opened it up.

He realized his mistake as soon as it was out of his mouth at the incredulous look he got. “It’s only the biggest brand worldwide.”

Danny coughed. “Guess I must have grown up more sheltered than I thought.”

He’d take the pitying look over any suspicion. He took a sip and it tasted a bit sweeter than the cola he was used to. His body welcomed the sugar and the liquids. He was usually more resilient than this.

After finishing the pop, and putting the can in the trash bag as directed it wasn’t long until he fell asleep.

He woke a bit disoriented when they stopped at a gas station an unknown amount of time later. And as memories flooded in he immediately knew what had been wrong with him. There had been absolutely no ambient ectoplasm in the air. He’d burned up his own rapidly using his powers for hours and healing a wound to boot. The difference was blatantly obvious now that he was in an area with ectoplasm in the air. He didn’t feel near as tired, his muscles and the wound ached less.

He stepped out of the truck along with the driver, and pulled his backpack back on. He looked up to the dark cityscape towering above them - so Gotham was definitely not a town.

“Hey, kid.”

Danny resisted the instinctual urge to protest that he was nineteen, so not a kid, but that was personal information he didn’t want to give.

“Yeah?” She walked around the truck to face him. “Gotham is a very good city to disappear in, but it’s also a good city to disappear in, you feel me? So take care?”

Danny swallowed at the ominous warning, but he was confident he could protect himself. He nodded. “Thanks for the ride, ma’am.”

Danny snapped out of the memory as a staff came down for his head. Jumping back he saw the midget had been joined by criss-cross bandolier guy.

He changed direction again and mused, that at this rate he’d go through all the vigilantes of Gotham tonight; but there was only one he wanted to see. He wasn’t showing and that was good, he reminded himself.

Zesti Cola and Gotham had been the clues Danny needed to know he was not in the future but in an entirely different reality. The following days he’d explored the limits of Gotham’s ambient ectoplasm. He’d quickly realized that to leave Gotham would be extremely dangerous to him. He might survive on human food, but any use of his powers would leave him weak and vulnerable, and as someone who didn’t even have an identity in this world - nobody would notice if he did disappear.

Clockwork didn’t answer him. He couldn’t rely on anyone finding him here, they could become just as stuck as him. The only real solution was to build a portal.

Danny was too late to divert from his path when he realized he was running towards a dead end, brick walls on two sides and concrete on the last, going up several stories. It was just as good a sign as any that it was time to end the chase. His stupid core could mourn Red Helmet’s absence just as easily from his hide-out as it could from here.

He was prepared to turn intangible and go through the wall straight ahead.

It was a relief the chase would be over. Weariness dragged at him more so now that he knew it would soon be over. Just three more long strides and the next would take him through the wall.

One. Two-

Electricity flared bright blue and flickering, dancing dangerously across the wall. Danny froze in place, in a way only possible due to his powers, as he instantly cancelled his momentum. Momentum that would have otherwise- No, he couldn’t think about that now. He had to focus, no panic, he could panic later, when he was free. He spun around. Electricity sparked all around him turning into a blur of dancing lightning. He dug his nails in to the palms of his hands. The path he’d come from was blocked by the bats. Blue Bird with his terrifying sticks, had joined the other two.

The world wavered around him. He couldn’t breathe. His heart was so loud in his ears. He bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood in his mouth. It was not over yet.

He sunk into the ground, but pain, terrible and familiar lanced up through his legs and he jumped up with a yelp. He stared down at the asphalt beneath his feet in terrified realization; there were live power lines running through the ground.

Danny gritted his teeth and faced his pursuers grimly.

Bandoliers gave Danny a triumphant smile. “Gotcha.”

There you have it, Tim's plan to capture Danny, helped along by Danny being distracted. Next time we will see if it works ;)

I don't know that I'm entirely happy with this chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it anyways. Now that it's written and out at least I can hope to get something I'm more satisfied with for the ao3 version.

You can subscribe to the story by subscribing to the masterlist

Update: next

#dp x dc #dead on main #Jason is catnip to Danny #missed connections #Wherever Jason is I can guarantee he is unhappy

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luvlystarr · 1 day

Note

Could you please do a part 2 to Simon -grumpy x sunshine

Thanks so much 💕💕

.・。.・゜❃・.・❃・゜・。.

Part 1

Of course I can do a part 2! I’m really grateful that so many people enjoyed my last post! 🤍

Here’s part 2 of Ghost x Reader - Grumpy x Sunshine.

Content: Pure fluff

.・。.・゜・゜

Ghost still hates you, well, not as much.

You and the Task Force 141 were sent on another mission. Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned.

Because of an unexpected ambush, you and Ghost got separated from the rest of the team.

It seemed like the universe wasn't on your side today. Both of your radios weren't functioning even though they were perfectly fine. You tried to call for Price, Soap and Gaz but all you got was static.

On top of all of that one of the enemies managed to cut your arm with a knife.

All of which lead to your current situation. The two of you are stuck in an abandoned warehouse with broken radios while Ghost patched you up.

You were sitting on a chair while you kicked your legs back and forth, patiently waiting for Ghost to finish.

"Quit moving," he said as he glared at you. You followed his orders and stopped. He's already pissed off and you don't want to make it any worse.

"Why can't we just go out there and find them? Who knows how long we're gonna be stuck here," you huffed.

"We're waiting for Price's orders. It's dangerous to go out there blindly."

He was right, there were probably enemies lurking outside and who could easily outnumber both of you. But at the same time you can't stand being in the warehouse anymore. You wanted to get the job done and go home.

Ghost finally finished wrapping the bandage around your wound. "There, how's your arm now?" He asked.

You move your arm around slightly. "Not bad, still aches but it'll do," you shrug. "Thanks, Si."

"Should've been more careful and I told you not to call me that," Ghost sighed.

"C'mon, lighten up a bit! Let's have some fun at least." Just then an idea popped into your mind.

"How about this, where do Generals keep their armies? In their sleevies!" You laugh uncontrollably at your own joke.

Ghost hated to admit it but your joke was a little funny, even your cute laugh got to him.

He managed to hide his chuckle but that didn't go unnoticed by you.

You stared him with a shocked look on your face. At first you thought your mind playing tricks until you see his eyes squinting a little.

"Did you just laugh?! Was that a laugh?!" You exclaimed.

Luckily, his mask was able to hide the dumb smile he had on his face. "Don't know what you're talking about, that joke was stupid."

"You did laugh! I can tell you're smiling, Si!" You grinned.

He shook his head before finally caving in and letting himself laugh. His cheeks began to hurt just from how hard he was smiling.

He gently pulled your head to his chest before wrapping his arms around you. You could feel his laugh vibrating through his chest. Now you were a hundred percent sure that you weren't seeing things.

"Shut up, you're losing your mind cause of the blood loss, love," he chuckled.

Maybe he doesn’t hate your laugh as much as he thought he did.

He wouldn’t admit it out loud but he does love you with all his heart.

・゜・。. .・。.・゜・゜・。.

#cod #cod modern warfare #cod mw2 #ghost x you #ghost x reader #simon riley fluff #simon riley x you #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost cod

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maxwellatoms · 12 hours

Text

I bought a Gartenmeister Fuchsia plant for my birthday back in January. It was a centerpiece all winter long, but recently it started looking a bit sickly. I'm not a "green" gerdener anymore (haha), but I am also by no means a master. I think it was infected with powdery mildew, but I also convinced myself it was spider mites. I try to keep things all -natural out there, so I dried it out and sprayed it with some neem oil after pruning it back a bit. I really should've pruned off all of the infected bits, but I didn't want to lose the flowers.

I did that a few more times, unable to commit to a hard prune because I kept telling myself "I don't know what I'm doing, so maybe it's not sick. Maybe it'll fix itself. Sure would be nice to have those flowers back." I finally gave up and cut it to the bone yesterday, but yesterday was too late. I had to remove every single leaf because I dithered for too long. It's probably not going to make it.

I feel the same way about our culture. US culture. Western culture (though its really a global problem). The Entertainment Industry. The Media. It's sick. We probably need some rather serious surgery to fix the problem, but we just will not see a doctor. To see a doctor would be to admit there's a problem, and for some that is the greatest sin of the 21st Century. Maybe some of us are just hoping the system will recover on its own so we can have our pretty flowers back.

For me, it was around 2010 or so when I first started to smell something "off". The symptoms had certainly been around a while. This was just when I noticed. This was when I got my first, "Hey, let's not make fun of corporations" note. It's when The History Channel stopped airing stuff about history in favor of aliens because that's where the money was. And rather than rebranding, they just left it as "History", encouraging future generations to believe whatever they felt like. This was also about when traditional news outlets started skewing to clickbait in order to compete with sites that were clearly 100% not legitimate news sites. Again, as long as the money is right it's "just entertainment" and you' can're welcome to believe it if it means you'll watch more.

I'm all-in on Dead Internet Theory now. The disparity between what major news media outlets will report and what you see from actual people on Tumblr or Threads or Reddit is pretty shocking. And those sites are already compromised by bots and bad actors. The tools exist now to actively bamboozle millions of people, and I have no doubt we're already seeing some of this now. In six months or a year you'll find out it (whatever it was) never happened or was generated by an LLM. The time to stop listening to anyone online was a year ago.

Trust no one.

Not even me!

It's cultural rot. It's spreading faster and faster, and I'm not sure what happens when we get to the end of this ride. Actually, I AM sure what happens. If we don't prune back hard now, then the rot takes over. Best-case, you clip the infected branches off too late and it takes years to recover. Worst case? Nature soldiers on but the plant succumbs to infection and dies completely, replaced (eventually) by something that can actually hack it in that spot.

When humans produce art and information, and then comment on that art and information by producing more art and information, we call it "culture". We're moving toward a time when the vast majority of art and ideas we get out eyes on won't be created by humans. Or at the very least won't be created with the purpose of commenting on or enriching the organic human experience. When that happens, what will we call it? What will remain of our culture?

#maxwell atoms #entertainment industry #media #rot #grim reaper

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vent-stink · 3 days

Text

Stink's Ateez Masterlist

OT8

Hybrid AU Masterlist

Hongjoong

After "The Point of No Return" Summary: The aftermath of Hongjoong finding out his girlfriend got murdered at Coachella

Lost Sight of My Treasure (dad!Hongjoong x mom!reader) (6/11) Summary: Hongjoong agreed to get married if she promised that he'd never have to choose between her and his career, but he didn't realize that his priorities would have to change when they had a child.

Seonghwa

Animal Crossing (smut)

Yunho

Cursed by Blood (Series Preview) Summary: Jeong Yunho was the nicest guy in school to everyone but Bae Y/n. Why? 10 years ago, his older sister was murdered by her older sister, so what better revenge was there than a sister for a sister?

Yeosang

None yet :(

San

Skinny San vs. Titty San Drabble

Mafia San (mafia boss!San x mafia wife!reader | Arranged Marriage AU) (WIP) Summary: Where you get an arranged marriage and he refuses to see you as his equal even though you'd have been the leader of your family had you not married him and then have a long and tense marriage. San doesn't realize how badly he fucked up until, after your kids are grown, your son blatantly disrespects you in front of San's face.

Mingi

The Reflection of You (WIP) Summary: You thought that there'd never be a person who could fully understand you until one day there was a man in the mirror and suddenly your thoughts weren't the only thoughts in your head anymore.

Wooyoung

The Tragedy of a Prince (prince!Wooyoung x Reader) (WIP) Summary: Prince Wooyoung fell in love with you at first sight, promising you his future knowing full well the heartache he'd put you through.

To Fight for her Hand (suitor!Wooyoung x princess!reader) (WIP) Summary: Wooyoung wasn't interested in boasting about his physical prowess nor was he interested in the prize: the hand of a princess. He was just in this for fun. The only problem? The way that the contest was going, it looked like he was going to win the first princess's hand, but a certain third princess had already found her way into his heart.

Jongho

Queen of Tears (Series) Summary: Chaebol heiress, Hong Y/n, and idol, Choi Jongho, fell in love three years ago, but now their marriage is tense, and Jongho can't take it anymore. He hates the Hong family, and he can't stand his wife. But suddenly, as he is considering divorce, she gives him some bad(?) news.

Everything Preview Part 1 Summary: Jongho wrote his song "Everything" so that he'd finally be able to move on from his ex-girlfriend to finally be able to pursue you.

Other

Stink's Ultimate Ateez Rec List

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amorvincitomnia-claire · 17 hours

Text

"Forgotten Anniversary" – Diluc, Genshin Impact

Pairing/Characters: [ Diluc x GN!Reader ]

Tags: Angst, (married) established relationship, hurt/comfort, neglect, alcohol (slight)

Word Count: 1.3k words

Summary: “You forgot about our anniversary again, do we even matter to you anymore?” – Imagine Diluc as your husband of 4 years. He’s never failed to celebrate your anniversaries when you two started dating; always giving you gifts, doing anything to make you happy on your special day – But he hasn’t done any of that for the past two years, does it even matter to him anymore?

a/n: I'm sorry for taking so long to post! This is my very first posted fic so I'm a bit nervous but I had a lot of fun writing this <33 I'll be posting some prompts to better help some requests soon! I'll also post more works soon <33 (hopefully)

also i'm very much aware of the stark contrast of this post to my blog's aesthetic (and im sorry) but it's diluc so here we are

⊱┊ ·˚ ༘ ꒰ masterlist ꒱ + ꒰ request guide ꒱ !!

Imagine being married to the wealthiest man in Mondstadt, Diluc Ragnvindr. In the past, before your marriage, he would always celebrate your anniversary. You had always felt that it was a special day, and he made sure to pamper you with all his affection and love, and especially with gifts. He was a wealthy man, and he could afford to spoil you with numerous expensive gifts.

Thinking of anniversaries with Diluc always produced the same things in your mind: expensive jewelry, fine wine, beautiful roses, and the most affectionate man you’ve ever met. It was his way of celebrating the day, as it was another year added to your love for one another. He had always assured you that the day would always be special to him, and he would forever be grateful for the bond and love the two of you shared.

As time passed, a few years after the marriage, the two of you started to be more independent and occupied with your own lives, especially with Diluc and his busy winery. His business grew and required more of his time, stealing away the hours he could’ve shared with his spouse. He was often stressed and exhausted with work, so when he came back to his chambers where his wife waited, he had no energy for anything other than rest.

You noticed this early, two years into the marriage. His winery was growing, and he gradually became busier, spending less time with you at night and even less time with you during the day. On a good day, he might be able to eat breakfast with you. When you were lucky, he might even have the time to have dinner with you. But that was it, right? You couldn’t help but feel lonely, going to bed alone as he came home at later hours. When he was home early, he did nothing but sleep. And on your first, then second wedding anniversaries, his gifts and celebrations were significantly less than before. A flower bouquet left for you and given to you by the maid, or a few boxes of gifts left for you on the bed in the morning. At the time, you decided that it was better to understand him. You knew that he was a busy man, and you couldn’t blame him for the lack of thought. Still, you felt neglected.

Then the day of your third wedding anniversary came. It was clear now that he was a busy man, with very little time to spare for himself — so you were going to take things into your own hands. You wore the black dress he had bought for you a few years back, decorated the bedroom with flowers, and had written a love letter for him, sealed with an elegant red wax seal. Two wine bottles and two wine glasses were set out for the two of you. You had told him about your plans a few nights back, when you waited for him to come home. He had told you that he would surely be there, and promised to make time for his beloved wife. There you were, sitting patiently in the quiet confines of your shared bedroom, waiting for your husband to arrive. The clock went on and eventually ticked past midnight. He didn’t arrive. You tried to understand him, but the feeling of loneliness and neglect weighed heavily on you. Tears unknowingly streamed down your cheeks as you took off your makeup and jewelry. You took one bottle of wine, skipping the glass and drinking straight from it. One bottle of wine emptied within the hour, and then the next bottle.

You woke up to urgent apologies from Diluc, and he showered you with kisses and pleas of forgiveness. He muttered an excuse here and there, and told you that he would make up for it and never forget about your anniversary again. You tried to understand him. He was your husband, and you knew of his stress and hardships in his job, as well as his passion and determination to keep his business up and going. You forgave him now, but the bitter feeling of neglect still lingered.

The fourth wedding anniversary quickly came by. Even you had started to get used to the decline in celebration, and almost forgot as well. The bitter feelings remained, and you planned not to do anything for the special day. It was a petty retort, but it was all that you could do against your husband. After all these hardships, you still loved him, and he still loved you— at least that’s what you felt.

The fourth wedding anniversary arrived, and so far no sign of celebration nor gifts from your spouse. You looked around, almost desperately trying to find a sign that he had remembered at the very least. It was bad enough that you woke up alone on your anniversary. The day progressed to afternoon, then to dusk, then to night. You had given up on waiting for him. He forgot again, you were sure of it.

The rain poured heavily and loudly outside, drowning out the sounds of your sobbing. It was cold, and you wore one of his shirts as an attempt to comfort yourself. It was pathetic, you thought to yourself. The clock ticked past 9 pm, and yet there was still no sign of your husband. Several deafening thoughts circled through your head over and over again. Did he not promise? Was there something going on at work? Was his work more important than his spouse? Did the day not matter to him anymore?

You curled up on your bed with your head between your knees, letting the rain drown out the thoughts from your mind. You hadn’t noticed the creak of the door as it opened, as your husband came walking in.

As the door creaked open, Diluc stepped into the room, his expression a mix of guilt and concern. He rushed forward, his voice filled with apologies, but you couldn't bring yourself to listen. You were tired— tired of the excuses, tired of the neglect, tired of feeling like an afterthought in his busy life.

"You've forgotten about our anniversary again," you hissed, your voice trembling with pent-up frustration. "Do we even matter to you anymore?"

The words hung heavy in the air, a stark reminder of the growing discord between you. Diluc's eyes widened in shock, his mouth opening and closing as if searching for the right words to say. But before he could respond, you continued.

"I've tried to be understanding, Diluc. I've tried to support you, to be patient. But how much longer am I supposed to wait? How much longer am I supposed to pretend like it's okay to be forgotten?"

Your chest tightened with emotion, tears threatening to spill as you poured out your frustrations. Diluc stood before you, his usual stoic demeanor crumbling under the weight of your words.

"I-I didn't mean to," he finally whispered, his voice barely audible over the sound of rain against the windows. "Work has been overwhelming, and I lost track of time. But that's no excuse, I know." His admission only fueled your anger. "I'm tired, Diluc," you admitted, your voice breaking as you finally let down your walls. "I'm tired of feeling like I'm not enough. I'm tired of feeling like you don’t value our anniversary anymore. Like you don’t value our marriage!" For a moment, there was silence between you, the weight of your words hanging heavy in the air.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice filled with genuine remorse. "I'm so sorry, my love. I know I've let you down, but please...please don't give up on us."

His words pierced through the haze of your anger, reaching deep into your heart. And in that moment, you knew that despite everything, despite the pain and the hurt, you still loved him.

"I won't give up on us," you whispered, your voice barely a whisper against the backdrop of the storm outside. "But we need to talk, Diluc. We need to figure this out together."

You wrapped your arms around each other. You knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would face them together. For in the midst of the storm, you found solace in each other's arms.

I hope I did well <33

Prompts list soon! Feel free to give some requests <3

⊱┊ ·˚ ༘ ꒰ masterlist ꒱ + ꒰ request guide ꒱ !!

#reqs open #requests open #diluc #diluc ragnvindr #genshin diluc #diluc x reader #diluc x you #diluc angst #genshin angst #angst #x reader #genshin x reader #genshin x y/n #genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin x you

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tomssexdoll · 3 days

Note

PLZ ANGST, nd how the story goes is ur choice!

Guess who's back, back again

"Tom what the fuck?! You can't just come back into my life after I've finally found someone who can make me as happy as you could!"

PAIRINGS: Tom 2010 x Female reader

CONTENT: ANGST + SMUT + FLUFF

SYPNOSIS: Y/N has escaped from her gang life and has been living with her boyfriend of 3 years, she was only 17 when she escaped from Tom and the gang, leaving her dangerous past behind her. Then, one day she gets a call from a random number, she thinks nothing of it until she picks up and hears his familiar, haunting voice.

A/N: i hope you guys like this!!! <3

WARNINGS: dom!tom, reader!sub, p in v (riding and doggy), rough kissing, hickeys, pulling hair, light arguing, mentions of violence, drugs, etc

I used to be in a gang, I was only 15 when I joined, my boyfriend Tom being the leader. We did stupid, irresponsible shit. Stealing cars, threatening people, robbing stores, etc. I loved that life at the time, it was like a rush for me, it was exciting, nothing like the life I had before it.

My parents were worried sick most of the time, I'd be gone for days and return drunk, high or covered in cuts and bruises. Me and Tom really did love each other, that's what made it so hard to leave.

We met when we were 14, he was quite a badly behaved student, known for smoking and drinking and starting fights, stealing and shooting things.

I don't know what it was but I just fell in love with him, the second we locked eyes it's like the world stopped, I could tell he felt the same way, the way his eyes softened as he looked at me.

He had a really bad childhood, his father was an addict and blew all their money on drugs and booze, leaving them to starve for days. His mother abused him and his twin brother Bill. Tom always looked after Bill, even at school, Bill was bullied heavily but Tom always had his back and I did too.

Bill was never interested in the whole gang life, he stayed far away from it while still having a close relationship with his brother. I loved how close they were, how they had that love for each other despite never been shown it growing up.

He was a runaway, he left home around 50 times in the span of a year, always being dragged back by the cops. We formed a friendship after months of passing notes to each other in class, everyone could sense the tension from a mile away, the way I'd stutter when talking to him or the way he'd just stare as I walked by.

I still remember the day we first kissed each other, we were at some ratty corner shop trying to buy cigarettes from the cashier, his friends were inside while we were flirting outside. He grabbed me face and kissed me softly, nothing like I expected from him, the tough gangbanger he made himself out to be.

I knew that wasn't the real him, I wanted him to just let go of it but he could never do it, he always would run back to the gang life, dragging me with him. I eventually joined his gang when I was 15, robbing and starting fights with them, everyone at school being scared of us.

The teachers would just look at me with sadness in their eyes, I never understood why, weren't they scared? Now of course I know it was because they saw a model student turn into something they feared the most.

My first everything was with Tom, we had so much fun together, so much love for each other. Even when we'd fight we'd usually end up fucking or cuddling for the whole night. Our relationship wasn't healthy at all, we fought a lot, mostly because of my jealousy issues and his possessiveness. We'd go at each other for the silliest things.

He wasn't scared of anyone, he would quite literally square up to a guy who was a foot taller than him, this is only because he was very good at fighting, he trained since he was little because of his abusive parents, wanting to prove to them he wasn't worthless.

I really did love him, I loved the risks, the gang life, the violence and the drugs but I couldn't do it anymore. I knew I'd end up dead or in jail and I didn't want my future to be on the line just for a boy.

At the age of 17 I finally left, it was the middle of the night and we were in one of our usual spots, sleeping in a random house. I snuck out and just ran for it, running as fast as my legs could hold me, running until my lungs gave out.

I made it to my house, quickly packing some things and stealing some money from my parents. I wrote a quick note to them and added my contact details if they wanted to stay in touch.

And with that, I left, I got on the nearest train and just left, going anywhere it would take me. I just had to stay hidden, not let him find me.

Then, when I had settled into my new life I met someone, after 6 months I moved into his place and we got engaged. I was so happy, forgetting about everything that had happened, my life amazing and better.

Then, one day, 4 years after I ran away, I got a call. It was from an unknown number so I just stepped outside the house, wondering who was calling. I figured it was a scam call and wanted to mess with them, but when I picked up, his voice was the only thing I heard.

I froze, all the memories coming back. How the fuck did he find my number? After nearly half a decade he found me? What was I supposed to do, I can't go back to that life.

"Baby?" he said, his voice deep. "To-...Sorry..uh, I think you have the wrong number," I said, my voice shaky with every word that came out of my mouth. "Don't bullshit Y/N, I just...I've missed you," he sighed.

"I left for a reason Tom, you know I couldn't stay," I felt tears welling up in my eyes, all the love I had for him returning just at the sound of his voice. "I know liebe, but I can't stand seeing you with that guy you're with, I want you back, I need you," his tone was desperate, almost urgent.

"Tom no, it's too risky!" I grunted, "too bad, I'm in your city and I need to see you, just at least once, please," he begged, the sound of his sports car echoing from the phone.

"Tom what the fuck?! You can't just come back into my life after I've finally found someone who can make me as happy as you could!" I yelled, tears falling down my cheeks.

"Don't cry baby, you know I hate to hear you upset.." he sighed, "I'm pulling up to your house now," he said before hanging up, not letting me get a word in.

I heard his car roaring through the neighbouring streets until he approached my house, the tires screeching as he came to a halt. As he got out my eyes widened, he looked so different now.

He used to have his dreadlocks, his baggy clothes but now, his head was covered in black cornrows, his body covered with dark blue jeans and a black jacket. A black and white bandana wrapped around his forehead.

With every step he took toward me my heart rate went crazy, basically ready to jump out of my chest and run away. "T...tom..." I breathed out, my jaw hanging low on the floor.

"Oh my god, you're beautiful.." he approached me, towering over me and taking in my features. "My boyfriend is home Tom..you can't be here!" I gritted through my teeth, checking around to see if he was looking.

"Shut up, just come with me, I don't give a fuck about your stupid boyfriend," he grabbed my arm, dragging me to his car. "Tom!" I called out, trying to get him off me but his grip only tightened, his fingers digging into me.

He shoved me into the passanger seat, wrapping around the car and getting into the drivers side, speeding off. "Where the fuck are we going Tom, I didn't even agree to this, you better not be taking me back, you know I can't go back!" I whined loudly, "just be quiet! I'm just trying to find a quiet spot," he grunted, his patience wearing thin.

After a while he found a random empty parking lot, parking in the middle and turning to me, "I don't get it, how could you leave, just like that?" I could tell he was getting angry, "did you even care, did you even love me?"

"Of course I fucking did Tom! You don't know how hard it was to leave, for weeks after I left I cried non stop, missing you, hoping one day things could work out and we would be back together, don't act like I never cared you know I did!" I raised my voice, offended at his accusations.

"Calm down..fuck..I was just worried ok?" he reached out and took my hand in his, our eyes locking. "Tom we can't...I'm with him, this isn't right.." I knew I had to pull away but I just couldn't.

He slowly leaned in, wrapping his hand around the back of my head and pulling me closer, smashing his lips into mine. "Mmm! Tom!" I gasped, pulling away.

"Just come here for fuck sakes, I know you want me as much as I fucking want you," he growled, grabbing me by my waist and pulling me into his lap.

"Do you know how hard I've tried to move on? I've been with so many girls but they aren't you!" he held my face, forcing me to look at him. "Tom.." "No! I'm not going to let you go, I can't lose you again, do you know how hard I've worked to find you? I'm not throwing it away!" he yelled, "fine! For fuck sakes if you want me so badly here!" I grabbed his face and kissed him again, our lips locking in a rough and passionate embrace.

"Mmm!" I moaned, Tom sliding his tongue into my mouth and exploring every inch. He tugged at my clothes, practically ripping them off me, leaving me nude on his lap.

I pulled away from the kiss, taking his jacket and shirt off, his toned body revealed, lined with sweat. I hovered over him as he took his jeans off, letting them pool at his feet on the car floor.

He was left in his boxers, his cock straining against them, begging to be freed. I sat back down on his lap, my bare pussy grinding against his clothed cock, stained with pre cum.

"Mmm...baby.." he groaned, holding my ass while he kissed me passionately. He grinded up into me, the big buldge rubbing against my clit, driving me wild.

"Ohh fuck!" I whined, burying my face into his neck, rubbing my cunt over his buldge repeatedly, feeling myself getting wetter and wetter.

He reached down and finally took his cock out, freeing it from it's confines. I gasped as I saw his size, it was way bigger than before, growing 2 inches and gurthier. "Tom, how the fuck am I going to handle that, jesus!" I whined, he chuckled, "just relax baby, let me do all the work," he pushed my head back into his neck, rubbing the head of his cock through my folds, collecting the wetness.

He gripped my hips, thrusting upwards and entering me in a swift, hard movement, leaving me gasping at the sudden flood of pleasure. His grip tightened as he began to move, "fuck..you like that schatz?" he groaned lowly, picking up his pace and fucking me harder.

His hips slammed into mine with almost violent force, enough to make the car shake around me. His thrusts became more desperate as he heard my loud moans, I leaned back and let my tits bounce wildly close to his face.

He watched in awe, his cock throbbing in me and his hands reaching out to grab them, squeezing them roughly as his cock pounded into me. "Ohhh shit!" I whined, throwing my head back. He kept slamming me back into him in a harsh rhythm, his own pleasure becoming too much to handle.

"You're mine, always will be and always have, that fucker won't fuck you as good as I do," he growled lowly, sending chills down my spine. "Y...yes Tom!" I moaned loudly, he eyes practically gleamed at my reponse, the virile satisfaction flaring up in him.

His thrusts became even more frantic, his eyes closing as he possessively grips my tips tighter, almost bruising as he slams me back against him again and again.

The wet sounds of our bodies meeting filling the car, piercing our ears. "God..I'm not gonna last much longer, you're just too fucking good!" he whined, feeling my pussy tighten around him.

"Me too...fuck! So close!" I cried out, rolling my eyes back as the pleasure hit me like a truck, shockwaves coursing throughout my body. He continued to thrust into me, the car now shaking intensely from his rough movements, his own orgasm building rapidly alongside mine.

"Fuckk!" I practically screamed, my pussy clamping around his cock as my orgasm crashed down, triggering his own release. "Shit!" he moaned loudly, spilling himself inside my sopping cunt, coating my walls with his thick cum.

He grunted in satisfaction as he continued to slowly thrust into me, riding out the waves of my orgasm with his own. "Fuck..that was amazing schatzi.." he panted heavily, his hands gripping my ass tightly.

"I wanna feel you cum on my cock again...get in the back," he commanded, I instantly obeyed, crawling into the backseat and bending over, waiting for him.

He got out of the car and quickly slipped into the back, closing the door behind him. He didn't waste anytime and slid his cock into my wet, needy heat with a low groan.

He gripped my hips again, beginning to thrust into me roughly, savouring the feeling of my tight pussy squeezing around him in reponse to his touch.

He couldn't resist reaching forward and grabbing my hair, pulling it roughly, "that's it, take my cock," he smirked, pounding into me roughly, hitting my g spot with such force I thought I would explode.

He starts to move faster, slamming into me with such force, nothing compared to my boyfriend at home. His grip on my hair tightens as he fucks me harder, making me squirm beneath him.

I arched my back to meet his thrusts, rolling my eyes back at the amount of pleasure I was recieving. "Fucking whore, taking my cock so well.." he grunted, his hand coming down and smacking my ass roughly, leaving a faint red mark.

"Ah!" I yelped in response, he grinned at my reaction, pulling me against his chest, his lips brushing against my ear, "that's right baby, scream and cry all you want," he whispered.

The sound of slapping skin filled the car, his lips moving towards my neck, sucking and biting roughly, leaving huge, dark purple marks all over. He continued to pound into me, his hips moving in a perfect rhythm as he fucks me like there's no tomorrow, a hand coming to my breast and giving it a rough squeeze, almost for encouragement.

His thrusts becoming more rough and dominant as he takes control of me, his balls slapping against my clit, sending waves of pleasure throughout me, my second release dangerously close.

"Gonna cum, keep going!" I cried out, biting down on my lip harshly. He continued to leave rough and sloppy kisses on my neck, migrating towards my shoulders, leaving more marks there.

"Cum on this fucking cock, cmon," he roared, his cock buried deep inside me as he fucks me viciously, throbbing wildly, signalling his impending orgasm.

With one hard thrust I was sent into oblivion, cumming on his cock again, a clear liquid streaming from my cunt and onto the leather seats. "Ohh you messy girl.." he chuckled, continuing to thrust into me, trying to drive more orgasms out of me.

His method worked, my pussy streaming with the clear liquid again, "ohhh fuck.." he growled, once again emptying himself in me, painting my insides white.

"Fuck.." he panted, sitting down and grabbing me, pulling me onto his lap, letting our highs die down. "Jesus christ..." he chuckled, kissing the top of my head softly. "You did so well mein liebe, missed this pussy so much.." he mumbled, pulling out slowly, careful to not overstimulate me.

After calming down he held me in his arms, carrying me back to the front seat and helping me get dressed again, "how about we rent a hotel for the night, see what to do from here, hm?" he lifted my chin, making me look at him.

I nodded, barely conscious after he just fucked me dumb. "Good girl.." he chuckled, letting me sit in his lap as he drove off.

tags: @itsmealaiah @itsangelll @ballhair @kaulitzsbabyy

tags: @kaulitzswhxre @cosmicck @bkaulitzlover

tags: @20doozers @tomsonlyslut @ge-billsgf

tags: @miyukafujii @ella1289

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roseghoul26 · 1 day

Note

Hello! I would like to request Cooper Howard x gn!reader (post war, because...murderous cowboy...hnnngh), where they struggle with mental health issues like depression? I've been in a really tough spot, having no energy or motivation to do anything or really any desire to take care of myself. So I was thinking, maybe the reader's mental health is declining, they're slower and sloppier when it comes to keeping up with Cooper and he's more and more frustrated. Then one day he has enough (maybe the reader is taking too long packing up) and threatens to leave them and they're just...passive, because they really don't care anymore about what happens to them. So he realises they haven't been taking care of themselves properly for a while now and then some soft moments with him? I know this is pretty dark and you can change this however you'd like, but I'm dying for some hurt/comfort with this man 🥺 It's totally cool if it's too much for you, if you decide to not write this, please just let me know, so I don't wait for it. Thank you so much, I love your Cooper fics <3

Cooper Howard | The Ghoul x gn!Reader

Synopsis: You’ve been struggling lately, putting both you and your traveling companion in danger. He was bound to confront you about it eventually. Tags: Prompt Request, Not Beta Read, Gender Neutral Reader, Depression, Mental Health, Mentions of Suicide, Disagreements, Comfort, Lazy Day, Cuddling, Beginning Relationships Author's Note: Trigger warning for topics relating to mental health, such as depression and suicide. Please do not read if you’re not in a good mental space. Take care of yourselves. Also, everyone’s experience with depression and mental health issues differs, so I am writing this story the way I experience it. Also, this was a fun challenge to write. Like how the hell would he approach a topic like this? It’s been fun to explore his character like that, and I hope I did it justice. Thank you so much for the request! <333

You used to be able to keep up with the Ghoul.

Wherever he went, you followed, tearing through the Wastleland without hindrance. You watched his back, and he yours, a security that was unheard of in this world. It was a trusting friendship, bordering on something else, something that neither of you had crossed yet. You couldn't compete with over a hundred years of experience with a gun, but you were able to hold your own quite well. You were a decent shot and someone who never let anyone get the drop on you, senses always sharp.

So when you started missing easy targets and found yourself surprised by opponents one too many times, you knew it was a matter of time before the Ghoul started asking questions and not believing the first lie that you said. The first time it had happened, you blamed it on your lack of sleep, and he seemed to buy it. And maybe you convinced yourself it was just a lack of sleep, ignoring the darkness that had begun to emerge in your mind. You just needed to rest, was what you told yourself.

It happened again a few days later, completely missing a target in front of you. Your reactions had begun to slow down, too, unable to avoid the swing of a blade, cutting across your cheek. It was like your body gave up on wanting to move, an unbearable weariness to your muscles that you were unable to shake. Later, as you bandaged the wound on your cheek, the Ghoul confronted you, demanding to know why you were acting so sloppy. You’d merely shrugged, offering up the idea that you were sick. This time he seemed less convinced, yet he had let the matter go.

You knew why you were acting the way you were. You weren’t unfamiliar with depression, far from it. It was something you’d dealt with your entire life, coming and going like waves. You’d go days, weeks, months and you’d be fine, but then a flip would switch. You’d lose your energy, your motivation, wanting nothing more than to just lay on the ground and never get back up. You’d stop taking care of your body. You’d lose your appetite. Your thoughts would turn dark, ideations and ideas flashing in your mind, things that you’d never tell another soul.

For the months you’d been traveling with the Ghoul, you’d been able to keep a reign on your depression. Sure, you had your off days, but nothing like this. It was like the universe was punishing you for having such an excellent past months.

But how could you explain this to your traveling partner? How could you explain that you didn’t have the energy to continue existing, to continue fighting? He needed you to be alert, to not have your thoughts occupied with something, that in perspective to the Wasteland around you, was trivial.

So you kept your mouth shut, forcing yourself to appear alert and unaffected. You forced those thoughts to the back of your mind. You forced your body to move, no matter how much it screamed at you to just be still.

But it seemed that all that bottling your thoughts up did was make it worse. As the days dragged on, you stopped talking, only muttering small words whenever the Ghoul asked you a question. You’d normally spend the time traveling conversing, and the Ghoul did try to initiate a conversation with you, but no amount of questions and joking and jabs could get you to break. Eventually, he fell quiet too.

Sleeping became a challenge. You’d think with how exhausted your body felt, you’d be able to sleep easily, but the opposite was true. Hours would tick by, and you’d lie awake, getting up the next morning more exhausted than before you went to bed. Your face, already a bit gaunt from living such a difficult life, had grown even more so, the circles around your eyes darkening and your lips growing more chapped.

You stopped eating, turning away the food he offered you. After you went a few days without eating more than a bite, he practically forced spoonfuls of food into your mouth, snapping at you the entire time. It was humiliating, but you couldn’t bring yourself to change. You just wanted to be done.

You could tell that your demeanor was starting to annoy the hell out of the Ghoul, whose words had turned shorter and snappier. If you took too long, he’d grab you by the shoulder and drag you along, like an upset parent with their child. Your cheeks would burn every time, tears pickling your eyes, and you’d hang your head.

There was a tension growing between you and the Ghoul, your friendship growing thin. His guard was up constantly, unable to trust you any longer to watch his back, which hurt you more than any knife or gun. Soft glances disappeared, his gaze scrutinizing when he looked at you. Light touches from him reserved for when you were at rest were no more, as you chose to keep to yourself every night. Instead of walking side-by-side, you’d linger a few feet behind him. You pretended like it was easier this way, to make him push you away, but it was tearing you apart.

But eventually, that tension snapped. Too many close calls, too many sluggish movements, too many half-hearted excuses finally made him break. You’d just gotten up for the day, another sleepless night behind you, and you were packing up your few belongings. You must’ve been taking too long, because you heard him sigh audibly, standing in the open doorway of the room you’d sheltered in for the night. “What’s your fuckin’ issue?” He growled, arms crossed tight over his chest.

You looked up, feigning confusion. “I dunno what-”

“Bullshit,” he cut you off. He began to walk towards you, his steps methodical, threatening. “You’ve been actin’ like this for weeks, and you’ve only offered me half-assed excuses.” He was seething, and understandably so. He crouched down in front of you, rendering you unable to escape. “So, you,” he stuck a finger in your chest, barely avoiding hitting you, “are gonna tell me why. And don’t even think ‘bout lyin’, sweetheart.”

You swallowed, heart hammering in your chest at the confrontation. Words flooded your mind, a full explanation on the tip of your tongue, yet you just couldn’t bring yourself to utter it. Your mouth opened and closed, struggling, until you eventually just gave up. Sighing, you just shook your head, which pissed him off even more.

A disbelieving laugh left him, and he ran a gloved hand over his face. “No? You’re kiddin’ me, right?” He didn’t wait for a response. “Ya know, I’ve tried to be lenient. I bought into your fuckin’ lies that you were ‘just tired’, ‘just sick’. I tried to give ya space, to give ya time to get out of this. But you’re gonna get us both killed if ya don’t fix yourself. I can’t be distracted out there, constantly worried ‘bout you and keepin’ you alive, ‘cause it seems like that’s the last thing on your mind.”

He took a breath, steadying his rising voice. “So I’m gonna give ya one more chance to explain yourself, or else I’m leavin’ without ya.”

“Then leave.” Your response came almost immediately, your voice lacking any inflection. Even though in the back of your mind you were screaming at him not to leave, you kept an air of indifference about you, unable to make yourself care. It would be easier if he just left, wouldn’t it? You wouldn’t be putting anyone else in danger, and you wouldn’t have to deal with the guilt you felt of him worrying about you so much. And it would be so much easier to just disappear if there was no one looking for you.

He wasn’t expecting that as a response if the look on his face told you anything. His brow muscles were raised, leaning back from you in shock. But the way he was watching you, it was like he was observing you in a different light, dots beginning to connect in his mind. “You’ll die out there without me.”

You merely shrugged your shoulders, glancing down to continue packing your belongings, no longer able to look him in the eye. He didn’t respond, simply standing up with a sigh. You didn’t look up, not even as you heard him walk away, backing towards the entrance of the room. You didn’t look up, even as you heard the surprisingly gentle click of the door as it shut. You didn’t look up, even as the tears that you’d been holding for the past weeks finally fell.

You were alone.

You thought it would make you feel better like there would be a weight lifted off your shoulders. But everything just felt heavier, the thoughts in your mind becoming a tempest, making you physically weak. Expletives tumbled from your lips as you sagged down onto your arms, head hung. Of course, he’d fucking leave, you idiot. No one wants to deal with your moping.

A part of you wanted to chase after him, to beg him to stay, but you already felt pathetic enough. You couldn’t blame him for leaving, not at all. You were weighing him down, putting his life in danger; he said so himself. He could only deal with you for so long. You should be grateful that he didn’t leave sooner.

The sound of rustling fabric made you jump, finally looking up. The Ghoul had taken off his jacket, laying it across the back of the couch he had slept on, never having left the room at all. Stunned, you watched him sit, taking his hat off in the process and setting it on the floor. He finally caught your eye then, a soft look on his face, a look you hadn’t seen in a long while.

“I thought you left,” you whispered, sitting back upright. Embarrassment warmed your cheeks, and you tried to wipe the tears that had fallen on them.

“I ain’t leavin’ ya, sweetheart.”

“Why not?”

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Do you want me to go?” You’d never shaken your head faster in your life. “Then I’m stayin’.”

“But why?”

He sighed. “‘Cause I care ‘bout you. I… Is that too hard to believe?”

It is. Unable to find words, you just shrugged again.

Something akin to regret or remorse flashed across his face, and muttering something under his breath he reclined against the couch. He was upset, but even now you could tell it was not because of you, at least not fully. “C’mere,” he murmured, patting the couch beside him. “You look like you’re gonna fuckin’ bolt at any second.”

Taking a steadying breath, you complied, albeit with some difficulty, your legs barely wanting to function. His gaze didn’t leave you once, as much as you wished it would, making you want to collapse in on yourself. The walk to the couch felt like it was miles long, but you eventually made your way over to it and him.

He rolled his eyes when you just stood there in front of him, unsure of what to do with yourself. “Sit down, I ain’t gonna fuckin’ bite.” In another situation, you knew he’d add some comment like unless ya want me to, but he bit his tongue. The couch groaned as you sat next to the Ghoul, keeping a foot between your bodies. “Talk to me,” he commanded, yet his voice was gentle. “What the hell’s goin’ on?”

You picked at the skin around your nails, no doubt drawing blood. “I’m… I’m not quite sure how to explain it,” you responded, and you expected your words to upset the man even more. But he nodded his head slowly, an almost understanding look on his face. “I’m just… done."

“Done with… what? Bein’ out on the road?” You shook your head. “Travellin’ with me?” You shook your head again, this time more vehemently. “Done with what?” You knew that he knew the answer to his question, but he wanted you to say it.

“I’m done with… with existing. I just can’t bring myself to care anymore. I’m just so tired of it all.” You sagged back against the couch like speaking took a toll on your body. “I’m so tired.”

He didn’t respond for a while, mulling over your words. “That… that explains a lot,” he chuckled humourlessly. “Your mind won’t just leave ya the hell alone, will it? It's like all your mind can focus on are these terrible fuckin’ things, no matter what ya do. And it just weighs on ya, like a million pounds, getting worse with every passin’ day until you just wanna… give up.”

He explained it perfectly, and you cocked your head to the side, a bit confused about how he was able to do so. “I ain’t a stranger to what you’re goin’ through. We’re well fuckin’ acquainted, to say the least. So I shoulda recognized it sooner with ya.”

He paused, sighing. “Wanna know somethin’?” You nodded. “I was too busy thinkin’ ‘bout what I did to upset ya that I didn’t bother to think of any other possible reason as to why you’re actin’ the way you are. But once I realized it wasn’t my fault, not entirely, instead of bein’ there for ya, I was an ass. I thought, because I’m a damn idiot, that you were just mopin’ around for the hell of it, putting us both in danger simply ‘cause you were tired or some shit. Not once did I stop to think why. And I apologize.”

“You don’t gotta-” He cut you off with a pointed look. “I… I accept your apology, then.”

He nodded slowly, content. “I’d like to help ya, sweetheart. I know nothin’ I say or do is gonna make it go away like that… but I’d like to try. Whatever ya need from me, and you’ve got it.”

“I’m not sure what I need exactly,” you admitted quietly.

“When ya figure it out, will ya let me know?” You nodded.

“Just… be patient. As difficult as that is for you.” You hadn’t meant for the jab to come out, but you weren’t taking it back. Especially when a loud laugh left the Ghoul, making a smile of your own appear on your face. It was faint, yet it was there.

An almost starstruck expression appeared on his face, his laughter dying out. “I missed seein’ ya smile,” he murmured as if it was a subconscious thought.

You ducked your head, making him laugh again. “As for bein’ patient, well, I can be that, if that’s what ya need.”

“It’ll take some time,” you cautioned again, indirectly giving him a chance to back out of this.

“Time ain’t an issue. I’ll wait as long as it fuckin’ takes.”

“You mean it?” Your voice was so soft, barely audible to either of you.

You watched as one of his gloved hands inched towards you, palm upturned. Tentatively, you placed your in his, eyes growing wide when he brought your hand to his lips, kissing the back of it gently. “I swear,” he uttered, sealing the promise with another press of his lips.

As you returned your tingling hand to your lap, his eyes scanned over your face, a furrow appearing between his brow. “How long has it been since you’ve eaten somethin’? Somethin’ that I didn’t force ya to eat,” he added when you opened your mouth to respond.

Your silence said enough, and he leaned down to his bag, which he had placed beside the couch when he sat. After a few moments of rustling through, he handed you a small bag of what appeared to be jerky, as well as a small canteen of water. “It ain’ human,” he added when you eyed the bag suspiciously before taking it.

The jerky was salty and tough when you took a bite, not quite wanting to, but unable to not eat under his gaze. You ate in silence until your stomach was full and your teeth hurt from the tough material. Taking a swig of water, you could feel your eyes growing heavy, eating seemingly draining your energy more than replenishing it. Stifling a yawn, you shoved the canteen back into his hand, and you noticed he had an almost pleased look on his face.

You were confused, though, when he stood, making his way to the entrance of the room. For a moment, those thoughts flashed in your mind that told you that he was finally leaving, that he realized how pathetic you were. But instead of doing any of those things, you watched as he simply wedged a chair under the handle of the door, like he had done before you went to bed for the night.

“What’re you doing?”

“We takin’ the day off. Doctor’s orders.”

“But aren’t we supposed to be in Filly in a few days?”

“We’ll be fine. You are gonna spend today catchin’ up on some much-needed rest.” He stood in front of you now, a moth-eaten blanket in his hands.

“And what are you gonna do?” You asked, and he shrugged.

“Don’t worry ‘bout me, sweetheart. Go ‘head, lie down.”

Your eyes quickly scanned the couch, and you took a deep breath before speaking again. “The couch is big enough for us both, no?”

For the second time that day, you’d stunned him with your responses. “Is… is that what ya want?”

Encouraged that he hadn’t just outrightly said no, you nodded your head, and a fond look crossed his features. He handed you the blanket before sitting once more, but instead of his back being against the cushions, he rested it against one of the armrests, not before tucking a pillow in front of it.

Once he was situated, he opened up his arms to you, and you could’ve laughed at how uncertain he looked. Hands rested on your body when you laid down, head on his chest, laying on your stomach, and you made sure the blanket covered both your bodies as best you could. You weren’t too worried about covering all of you, though, with the sheer amount of warmth he was radiating.

His eyes were already on you when you glanced up, a smile pulling at his lips. “Comfy?”

“Yes.” Your voice was barely audible, but he heard it.

You felt his fidget with something in his hand behind your back, but you didn’t have to wait long to find out what he was doing. You felt fingers run along your scalp, making you shudder, before combing through any hair there. “Alright?”

You sighed contently, nodding your head before letting it fall back onto his chest. He continued to run his fingers there, his other hand tracing patterns across your shoulders. You hadn’t realized how tired you were until now, finding it hard to keep your eyes open. For the first time in a long time, you felt safe. Safe from the world outside this room. Safe from the thoughts that plagued your mind. Safe from everything.

He didn’t have to see your face to know that you were struggling to stay awake. “Go to bed. I’ll be here when you wake.”

“Promise?”

“Ain’t fuckin’ like I’m gonna be able to get up,” he chuckled, before taking a more serious tone. “I promise.”

That was all you needed to hear before you finally let the final strings of consciousness leave your grasp. Before you lost control of all your senses, though, you felt him lean down, pressing a barely-there kiss to the top of your head. “You’ll get through this, sweetheart.”

You believed him.

#the ghoul x you #the ghoul x reader #fallout tv series #cooper howard #cooper howard x you #cooper howard x reader #fallout prime #fallout show #fallout

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starryjaem · 1 day

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destiny book one

DREAMING — MARK LEE

↳ skateboarder! mark x fem reader

read the first chapter here

featuring nct dream.

— ♡ —

chapter two

You nervously gulped, the intense eye contact between you both started to intimidate you.

“H-hi.” You stuttered. Clearing your throat, you look over to your best friend and Jeno. You gave your best friend the ‘help me’ look.

You talked to him so easily yesterday, so why is it today different?

Jeno must’ve read the room, because he noticed the nervous look on your face. Before you could speak, Jeno broke the awkward silence surrounding everyone.

“Mark, don’t be awkward.” Jeno laughed, nudging his shoulder.

“Right, well thanks for coming.” Mark smiled at you as he removed his helmet and fixed his messy hair. Mark. That’s his name.

“Okay, so Jeno and I wanted to walk around for a while. I’ll leave you two to yourselves.” Your best friend mentioned, showing you a wink. She was doing you a favor, but you were nervous as hell.

“Have fun.” Jeno waved off, walking away with your best friend. With that, you and Mark were now alone. Not completely, as other skaters were at the park. You tried to play it off like you weren’t nervous.

“So, um, you skateboard?” You started the conversation, hoping that you didn’t seem too awkward around him.

Mark sat down at the bench, taking his glasses out of his glasses case and placing them on his face.

“Yeah, I’ve been skateboarding for almost seven years now.” You nodded your head impressed by his dedication and talent to skateboarding. “Also, I used to compete in skateboarding competitions, not anymore though.”

“Why not?”

“There’s no reason. I just enjoy skateboarding as a hobby now instead of doing it to compete.” You sat down next to him, as you watched him remove his kneepads.

“That’s cool. Did you win any competitions?”

“Many. I was ranked number one in the country for skateboarding.” Was. You were imagining the serious and competitive look on Mark’s face. For some reason, your mind was telling you there was more to the story. But, you didn’t want to keep asking further.

“Anyways, can I see your phone?” You raised an eyebrow at him, very curious about why he asked for your phone. You handed your phone to him, as you were surprised that you even trusted him with your phone.

After unlocking your phone, you watched him click the contacts app. “Can I put my number in here?” He asked, his smile shining so brightly.

“Yeah, you can.” Mark typed his number in your phone, adding his name onto the contact as well. Mark showed you a warm smile. “Do you attend Spring University?” You wanted to know, since you’ve never seen him on campus before.

Mark nodded, “This is my last year.” So he’s a senior. “Oh, okay. I’m a junior.” You were so relieved that you and Mark didn’t have such a awkward conversation. You were enjoying this conversation with him.

Your best friend and Jeno finished their walk around the park, approaching you and Mark once more.

“Did you two have fun?” Jeno teased, showing you and Mark a smirk. Mark rolled his eyes at his best friend’s teasing, immediately standing up from the bench. “We just talked.”

Your best friend looked over at you, seeing the blush that sat upon your cheeks. That warm smile never left your face.

“Let’s hangout again later? We’ll be busy later today so we can’t stay any longer.” Your best friend asked. Mark and Jeno both nodded. “Yeah, sounds good.” That’s when Jeno and your best friend hugged.

You and Mark showed each other a look, trying to figure out the new relationship between your best friend and Jeno. You and your best friend left, a smile stayed on both of your faces.

— ♡ —

“Jeno, did you finally get a girlfriend?” Renjun asked, not taking his eyes away from the book in front of him.

Jeno blushed, remembering the time he spent with your best friend. Jeno hasn’t had a crush on anyone in years. His previous relationships were usually casual, as he wanted nothing more.

However, he wanted someone more with your best friend.

“That’s none of your business.” Jeno says, sitting back against the chair. “Mark has, though.”

Mark looked over at Jeno, his eyes widen as the sudden words left Jeno’s mouth.

“Dude, we just met.” Mark corrected him, knowing how his best friends were, they were gonna ask for every detail of this new girl that he knows.

Renjun placed his book down, slightly pushing his glasses up as he looked over at Mark, with a smirk on his face. “So, where did you meet her?”

Mark knew he wouldn’t be able to get out of this conversation. “At a party.”

Mark felt the connection between you two, but he needed to get to know you more. There’s still so much more about you.. that he wants to know.

With his phone buzzing in his pocket, Mark checked his phone, seeing a text message from you, asking if him and Jeno were home yet.

Mark answered back, smiling warmly at his phone.

“Ah, he’s in love. I bet she texted him just now.” Renjun said to Jeno, as they both see the happiest smile on Mark’s face while looking at his phone.

“I can’t believe it took me almost four hours to finish up preparations for the art club.” Jisung walked into the living room while holding stacks of papers.

Jisung placed the papers on the table, as he fixed his messy hair right after. Jisung sat on the couch, feeling relieved that he was finished with preparations.

“What are you preparing?” Mark asked, trying to change the subject as his best friends kept asking him questions about his love life.

“I have some people coming to the art club next week for our watercolor art project. We’ll be painting pictures of them, so I was responding to their emails to see if they were available on the day we start our project.”

“So, you’re painting pictures of their faces.. with water?” Renjun asked, curious about Jisung’s upcoming preparations.

“Basically. So far, five people have responded back and they’re available.” As Jisung continued to talk about the art club, he mentioned that you were one of the people participating.

Mark looked up from his phone, as he heard your name come out of Jisung’s lips. Mark wasn’t sure when he would see you again, but he wanted to see you as soon as possible.

Even if it meant trying something new.

“Jisung, I’d love to attend your art club event next week.”

— ♡ —

author’s note — hi everyone, quick question. do you prefer reader insert, which is y/n, or stories with ocs? i would love to know so i can keep that in mind for writing my stories in the future 🤍

also, any predictions for the next chapter?

TAGLIST — @lovesuhng @manooffline @nosungluv @ilovejungwonandhaechan @minkyuncutie @soobieboobiedoobiedaboobie

please read below!

REMINDER — TO BE ADDED IN MY TAGLIST, YOU MUST BE 18+ AND HAVE YOUR AGE SHOWN ON YOUR BLOG ‼️

©️ starryjaem

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sibylsleaves · 2 days

Text

some things fall when they're meant to fall

25k | rated T | read on ao3 | COMPLETE Eddie’s gaze drop to Buck’s lips—pink, like his birthmark. Eddie wants to taste those lips, and he wants it with a fierceness so sudden it shocks him. “I’m, uh,” Buck stammers. “Last night. When you saw me and Tommy…we—we were on a date.” Everything inside Eddie goes still. If his heart is a kite, then this is the moment it plummets back to earth.

or, Buck tells Eddie some news. Eddie breaks up with his girlfriend. Not necessarily in that order. written for @burnthatbridge

Eddie collapses down on the sofa, propping his ankle up on the coffee table. It’s pretty much completely healed by now, but it still twinges a bit when he’s been on his feet all day. Marisol drops onto the couch next to him and kicks off her heels.

“Man, that was such a funny coincidence, seeing Buck and Tommy at Pizzana,” he says.

She hums noncommittally. “It’s a pretty popular spot, isn’t it?”

Eddie wouldn’t really know—Buck’s the one who picks the restaurant when they go out, always excited to try whatever new place he saw on instagram or the Los Angeles food subreddit. Now that he thinks about, Buck is definitely the one who first mentioned Pizzana to Eddie, so maybe it wasn’t such a coincidence.

“Well, I’m glad he and Tommy are hanging out. I knew they’d hit it off if Buck just gave him a chance.” It had been a surprise to see them out together, but a good surprise. After the basketball incident, Tommy had told Eddie he wanted to clear the air with Buck, and it seems the air was successfully cleared.

They’d been done with their dinner, but Eddie had convinced the two of them to stay for another drink while he and Marisol waited for their own pizza. It had been fun—he likes Tommy a lot, and now that Buck’s let his guard down he can see he likes the guy, too.

It kinda reminded him of how Buck was when he first met Eddie—territorial, at first, but then once Eddie had proved he wouldn’t be so easily put-off by Buck’s barking he’d sort of…melted. That was the only word Eddie could think of to describe it, the way he’d smiled and just opened up, like a dog rolling over to show his soft belly, blushing pink as a flower unfurling into full bloom.

Anyway, it would’ve been a nice night, with the four of them—and on the surface, it had been. They’d laughed and joked and recounted the entire hurricane rescue for Marisol. But something had felt…off with Buck. It had been bothering Eddie all night. Not quite the same way things had felt off with him before the basketball incident. Something else. He’d been…nervous, almost? Eddie had been thrilled to run into them, but for a minute when his gaze landed on Buck, Buck had looked…guilty, almost.

He had no reason to be. He’d already apologized to Eddie for the whole thing, and Eddie had reassured him and gently chided him for not just telling him he was feeling left out, and they’d been fine since then. More than fine. They had plans to take Chris to his surf lesson tomorrow, for god’s sake.

“Eddie,” Marisol prods gently. “What are you thinking about?”

Eddie turns to her, his easy-going smile already in place. Her own smile flickers and he knows he’s made a mistake.

They’ve been talking about this, is the thing. A few days ago, she sat him down and told her how it bothers her that Eddie doesn’t—hasn’t—opened up to her. He can’t really deny it. He hadn’t told her much at all about the hurricane rescue until it had come up tonight. He hadn’t told her much about Shannon, or about what Chris had been going through a few weeks ago. He doesn’t know why—he’s not that guy that just bottles up his feelings anymore. He’s not.

So he takes a breath, and he says, “I guess I’m just thinking about Buck.”

(keep reading on ao3)

#sibyls words #some things fall when they're meant to fall #post for the whole fic now that it's complete!!!

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drakesroyalromance · 3 days

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hi, i’ve been gone from the choices fandom but now i want to get back into it. can you tell me which books that have come out over the past couple of years i should read and rec some people to follow who’re still active in the fandom? i’m asking you because i trust your opinions haha

Okay, I take your trust very seriously, so this is about to get very detailed lol

I’m going to divide the books I recommend into two tiers:

Tier I - Books that are must reads: 1. Blades of Light and Shadow, book 2: Depending on how long you’ve been gone, you’ve probably already played the first book. The second one is emotional and frustrating and amazing, and ultimately a good continuation of the story. I can’t wait for book 3!

2. Crimes of Passion: It’s a murder mystery with compelling characters that are extremely lovable, and the dynamic between the two main characters is exactly the kind of dynamic I love in every iteration. The mystery itself is better in the second book than it is in the first (of course, these are all just my opinions) and I have high hopes for both what the characters’ arc is going to be in book 3 and what the mystery is going to be.

3. Immortal Desires: I don’t know if you like stories about vampires (like Twilight), but even if you don’t, you’ll probably still love this book. It has a mystery in both books too and has two of my favourite love interests. Book 2 is currently releasing on Fridays and I look forward to it every week!

Tier II - Books with parts that could’ve been better/were unsatisfactory, but that are still 100% worth reading: 1. Murder at Homecoming: This is a personal favourite of mine! I think mystery is a genre that Choices does really well, and this book is one of their most diverse and inclusive. All of the LIs are bi (like, they actually say it and have conversations about it). This book would be a must read for me if it weren’t for the fact that one of the biggest mysteries is left unsolved.

2. Kindred: This book is so fun! I love the bond between the sisters, they’re all complex characters and Kaine is one of my favourite love interests as well.

3. Guinevere: I don’t usually like historical fiction and fantasy, but this book is an exception to that. If you love Liam and Drake from TRR, this book has characters who are similar to them and have similar dynamics with the MC!

I answered an ask a while ago about which people I’d recommend following, which you can find here. That list has a lot of people that aren’t really active anymore, but I’d recommend following them anyway because they have amazing fanfiction/art that you should check out, or are just really good people. The only people on that list that are still at least somewhat active are @saivilo (whom I adore), @noahmrshall (who makes stunning edits) and @brightpinkpeppercorn (who is so nice!) I’d also recommend following these people who aren’t on that list: @lover-also-fighter-also (they’re active, post about different Choices books, and seem really cool), @moominofthevalley (they’re active, and post mainly about Crimes of Passion, so of course I follow them lol. They’re also very friendly), @aria-ashryver (they’re active, post mainly about Immortal Desires, and seem very sweet!), @mvalentine (they’re pretty active, post about different Choices books and seem super fun), @raleighcarrera (they’re kind of active, and write the most beautiful fic), and @argylemnwrites (they’re kind of active, and write Drake x MC fic that’s so in-character it’ll be forever ingrained in my brain).

I’m sure I’m forgetting some people, but those are the ones I can think of right now!

#I love giving recommendations so I hope you enjoy these books and find some good people to follow💕#ask #anonymous

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l3onk3nnedy · 2 days

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·˚ How My Rain-Soaked Body Was Shaking ༘🖤꒱

Title from "The Black Dog" by Taylor Swift

Pairing: Leon S Kennedy x Male!Reader

Summary: After Leon broke up with you, you couldn't live with yourself. Your life's had become miserable, unbearable. Your attempts to rekindle the flame always fell flat. That was until Leon decided to take it into his own hands. Note: This is like my first ever one-shot or story in general so if it's bad, there are ANY spelling mistakes, or just doesn't make sense that's my excuse! Word Count: 2687 words Content Warning: Angst, eventual fluff, mentions of depression, pills, Leon is a slight alcoholic, MLM, emotional male!reader, swearing, mentions of death, not proof read!

[M/N] laid their head on top of their desk, eyes watching the rain drops trickle down the window, betting on which would reach the window sill first like it was a horse race.

The scene outside was gloomy, damp greenery berated by the ongoing rainfall. It has been raining all week, almost ironic. [M/N] wondered if mother nature was making fun of him, mocking his sorrow.

The office was quiet, it was late and most people had taken their leave. The only sound synchronizing with the downpour was the pills inside the clear golden bottle being tossed around [M/N]'s fingers, the occasional branch blown against the window chiming in.

Slowly, [M/N]'s aching body rose up fixing their posture. Their back felt ruined through the horrible excuse of posture [M/N] had been displaying ever since Leon cut things off. Leon. The thought of the man ached his heart. [M/N] wondered if a bullet to the heart would feel better than the feeling he felt every time Leon crossed his mind.

"God..." [M/N] muttered, dragging their hands down their face hoping to clear their mind. His eyes fell back on the window, looking down from the second story. Suddenly, [M/N] perked up. Leon. Watching as Leon jogged to his car, hand above his head to try and protect himself somewhat from the rain.

[M/N] watched anxiously, the bouquet of white roses, adorned with a blue bow just how [M/N] would always give him flowers throughout the years. A letter sealed with a sticker laid next to it, both sat upon the hood of Leon's car. Now soaked. This had been going on for over six months ever since Leon broke up with [M/N], Leon had repeatedly told the man to stop and it will never work with their jobs, but the younger man never gave up on Leon, continuing against Leon's protests.

[M/N] awaited Leon's reaction, holding their breath. Only to witness Leon throw the bouquet onto the flooded concrete, crumpling the letter and shoving it carelessly into his pocket.

[M/N] fell back into their chair, leaning back with their face in their hands, eyes watering. [M/N]'s watery eyes looked up at the bright ceiling lights, distorted with water layering his [e/c] eyes. He wondered if he looked long enough he could turn blind, not have to see Leon everyday. Live the rest of his life under protection of the government, forget about the pain, live in solitude.

His hand's reached for the pill bottle, his therapist had prescribed him antidepressants, gulping down three pills. He was only supposed to take two maximum, but the sad excuse of a man couldn't care. He didn't want to feel what he felt anymore.

[M/N] hated his job. He used to somewhat enjoy it, being able to go on missions with the love of his life. But he's been on desk duty for almost four months. His bosses deemed that he was being too "reckless" and "unsafe" while on missions. [M/N] knew why, now that he had no one to stay alive for, there was no holding back on the job but that didn't sit well with the higher-ups. So now he'd been stuck with desk work, shriveling away at his desk.

"09:32 PM" [M/N]'s watch blinked the time. I was supposed to clock out forever ago. [M/N] thought to himself, with a groan they packed up, shoving all his personal belongings into his bag now draped along his side as he made his way out the building.

[M/N] didn't care to try and shield himself from the rain once he exited the doors. Maybe the rain could drown him, wash him of his sorrows. [M/N]'s black heeled shoes splashed against the puddles. The man dressed in simple office attire, Black dress shoes, black slacks, a white button up with a black and white tie, all covered with a comfortable black jacket. Clothes now wrinkled and wet but [M/N] couldn't care less, face expressionless.

[M/N] straddled the sleek, wet black motorcycle. The motorcycle was a gift from Leon, [M/N] always rid on the back of Leon's so he thought the male might enjoy one of his own. And he did, he loved it almost as much as he loved Leon. Almost.

[M/N] missed those times, his arms wrapped around Leon with his head rested on his back. Those were some of his favorite moments, peaceful, with the man he loved the most. But that was all over now.

Seeing the motorcycle brought back the same pain every time [M/N] saw it, but he didn't have the heart to throw it away, sell it even. Anything Leon has ever given him he still possesses, wanting to hold onto Leon in any way he could. He knew how it looked, he knew he was the most desperate person alive. But if he could sell his whole life away just to be with Leon for one more moment, he would.

⠀⠀⠀⠀✪

Leon's keys jingled in the door of his solemn apartment. [M/N]'s constant chatter and laughter used to fill the silent moments of entering their shared apartment. But Leon was now alone, forced [M/N] to move out and now, his apartment was silent. The feeling of life now non-existent.

He knew it was for the best, to cut things off. Him and [M/N] dating was bound to end horribly in their field of work. Leon couldn't bare himself to be hurt even more than life had done to him.

But even so, Leon was still hurting. Not having [M/N] around felt like solving a puzzle but missing the most important piece. Like something had been stolen from him, but Leon knew that he was the culprit. He felt like a thief, a thief of his own happiness. He wondered, if dying on the field with [M/N] would've been the better choice.

It was rare to feel happiness after Raccoon City, but [M/N] made it all better. Even so, Leon threw it all away. So stupid. Was all Leon could think in the moment, I'm so stupid.

Leon begrudgingly walked over to the kitchen island, sluggishly dropping his belongings on the counter top scattered with bottles of alcohol.

Ever since they had broken up, Leon found his way to cope was to drink till he passed out. He knew the harms of alcoholism but it numbed him and to him, it was worth it. He couldn't go back to [M/N], it would be worse. Or so he told himself.

Leon began drowning himself in alcohol before he reached into his pocket, the crumpled letter in his hands. He smoothed it out onto the counter, heart aching as he read his name "𝐿𝑒𝑜𝓃 𝒮. 𝒦𝑒𝓃𝓃𝑒𝒹𝓎" in [M/N]'s same cursive. The same writing on every single card he's ever received from [M/N].

His rough finger-tips traced the letters of his name, following the swirls and loops where the pen left it's ink. A feeling of longing crept up on Leon. He tossed the letter into a drawer, the small kitchen drawer overflown with letters. He never had the heart to throw them out, but never had the guts to read them.

⠀⠀⠀⠀✪

It had been months since Leon received anything from [M/N], not even a sudden moment of eye contact. It hurt Leon, knowing that [M/N] still loved him gave him a slight feeling of comfort over the months, but now that comfortability Leon could always lean back on had disappeared. Vanished.

Maybe [M/N] had moved on, given up on Leon. That thought hurt Leon more than he'd like to admit. Leon watched [M/N] sit at their desk, those [e/c] eyes he used to love to stare into, those eyes that held such a hopeful soul behind them. Those dreamy visions that swirled in the orbs of his eyes now gone, replaced with dull emotionless gates to the soul.

It has almost been a year since Leon broke up with [M/N], how could Leon forget the date. The day could play back in his mind vividly, like his mind had the moment on tape, to play whenever he least wished it.

"I'm breaking up with you." Leon said, voice cracking as his eyes teared up, holding the hands of the slightly shorter male. Leon watched as [M/N]'s eyes that shined bright fade of all light, deprived. "What?" [M/N] looked at the main, letting out a confused chuckle in shock, "What're you saying Leon?" face now falling in a panic realizing Leon's words fully. "I-I'm sorry... it's for the best." Leon began to let go of [M/N]'s hands but the male grabbed Leon's wrists, tears threatening to fall from his clouded eyes. "You're- You're joking.. right?" [M/N] stuttered with a smile, lips quivering. God, Leon hated the sight, the sight of the only man he's truly ever loved slowly breaking down before him. "it's... it's for the best [M/N]." Leon's hands found [M/N]'s face, caressing his cheeks, "I'm saving us the pain this could cause us later." "No... No... No you're not! Please, please Leon don't-" [M/N]'s voice cracking as his heart began to break into two. Leon let go of the male, walking away. "Please! I'm begging... Leon! We-W-We can make it work!" [M/N] pleaded to the male, frozen, unable to follow. "P-please.." the broken man hiccupped, it [M/N] could muster. His heart shattered into a million pieces. A puzzle bound to never be solved again.

When Leon had snapped back into reality, [M/N] was gone. He must've went home, Leon realized. What was he even doing, Leon sat up in his desk. Why is he so stupid? Why hasn't he done something sooner, all he's done is make this one of the most miserable years of his life.

Leon grabbed his jacket and rushed out the office, it was raining again today. Just like the emptiness Leon felt, he was tired of it, tired of it all. he couldn't keep it up anymore. Who cares if they died, Leon would want to die together. Not leave this cruel world, alone and miserable.

Leon rushed to the flower store, black sleek car rushing down the slippery streets of the rainy city. The bell above the door sang a welcoming chime as Leon pushed through the glass doors to the shop.

He purchased a bouquet of roses, 18 roses, just how many you'd buy for him every time. He picked [f/c] roses, you always said they were your favorite. The man gulped, hoping that hadn't changed, it has been over a year since he's boughten you flowers. The second-guessing thoughts plagued his mind as he bought the roses and hurriedly retreated back to his car.

He parked his car in front of the apartment building he helped [M/N] move into, with the help of the government. Leon looked at himself in the reflection of the rearview mirror, trying to fix his hair and suit. With a deep breath, Leon exited his car and rushed into the building, the heavy downpour drenching him almost immediately.

His mind raced as he made it up the stairs that seemed never-ending, but eventually he made it to your floor, 13. He waltzed down the halls till he stopped in front of your door, frozen in panic. His heart raced at inhuman speeds, it wouldn't slow down.

Against the rush, Leon raised his hand to your door knocking hurriedly, roses held at his waist. No one answered, had he come here for nothing. Were you in danger? Were you in sleep? Kidnapped? Dead? Gone? Horrible thoughts raced to his head but before he could enter somewhat of an even harsher state of panic, the apartment door creaked open.

"It's too late for this shit, what do you want-" [M/N] stopped, his eyes meeting Leon's icy blues. "L-Leon?.." [M/N] muttered, shocked.

Leon ran his hand through his hair, heart still racing abnormally fast. "I- I bought these... I bought them for you." Leon spat out nervously, holding the bouquet out towards the male.

"I miss you [M/N], I'm sorry, I'm so stupid I should've- I should've never done that to you I know I'm a horrible person, and- and I know you may never forgive me but I would never forgive myself if I didn't try to make it right, I- I missed you so much, I know I'm such a dumbass-" Leon rambled on and on, lost in his overflowing amounts of words that he doesn't realize [M/N] steeping forward till his face is in [M/N]'s hands, their lips touching after so long.

The two melted into the kiss, stumbling into the apartment, Leon closed the door behind him with their lips still finding their familiar ground. Not daring to stop, fearing the other might turn to dust.

Their hands explored each other, their bodies so foreign but still memorized in vivid memory. Mouths danced in a fight for dominance, a battle Leon always won.

[M/N] pulled away reluctantly, "I love you Leon..." the male muttered, eyes locking with each other, "Not as much as I love you, [M/N]." Leon said with a shaky smile.

"If only that were true." [M/N] exhaled as the kiss resumed, [M/N] pressed against the wall in the doorway. Leon held the man in his arm for a couple minutes, his head atop the man's head, breathing in his scent.

After moments of silence [M/N] spoke, "You're soaking wet Leon." the slightly shorter male chuckled. "I'll- I'll get you something to wear."

[M/N] walked down the familiar halls of his once lifeless apartment, not it appeared so full of life as the colour returned to [M/N]'s eyes. Leon followed the male slowly, taking in the lively energy now radiating from him.

Leon stripped himself of his soaking clothes stuck to his body in the bathroom, changing into a simple pair of grey boxers and black t-shirt. He walked out of the bathroom to the bedroom, [M/N] kneeled down turning on the electric fireplace hoping to warm Leon up.

[M/N] stood up only to be met with a hug from behind, "I love you, I'm sorry... for everything." Leon muttered into [M/N]'s ears. "It's not your fault..." [M/N] muttered, "You were doing what you thought was good for us, I could never be mad at you for something like that Lee."

Leon's heart fluttered at the nickname he hadn't heard in so long. "Can- Can I sleep here, with you, I don't wanna leave you, ever again." Leon pleaded to the man, knowing he'd receive a yes.

[M/N] scoffed playfully, "Don't even know why you ask." he whispered as he gently pushed himself out of Leon's embrace, holding his hand pulling him towards the bed. [M/N] always made sure the bed was made, tons of blankets and pillows atop of it.

It made Leon happy, when they lived together [M/N] was always up before Leon, [M/N] always spent forever making the bed when Leon was forced to get out of bed on days [M/N] didn't allow him to sleep it. Leon smiled at the memories.

[M/N] pulled Leon under the covers, head laid against Leon's chest, their legs intertwined. Leon cooed sweet nothings into [M/N]'s ears, as they grew drowsy in the serene moment in each other's warm embrace.

"Will you be my boyfriend, again?" Leon asked suddenly, "I've never stopped being your boyfriend mentally, but yes, yes I will." [M/N] responded, Leon chuckled at the response

"I'll never let you go, never again." Those were the last words Leon muttered before they fell asleep in each other's arms, for the first time in almost a year.

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bunji-enthusiast · 2 days

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Hello, can I request Yandere Thor, Odin Poseidon, and Hades from the record of Ragnarok, please? Those four are my favorite characters in the show.

• Yanderes || Thor (couldn’t think of anything else for the other characters my apologies).

• CW || nothing major, general non-specific headcanons.

• note || absolutely!! It’s been a while since I wrote for this character so I’m a little rough. Thank you for sending in this request ♡︎

- 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐫

♥︎ Thor is unusually quiet, uncharacteristically quiet. It wasn’t his usual demeanor, yet, if not for Shiva’s watchful eyes. He never would’ve figured out the trepidation that lied between you and the thunder god. He wondered how this came to be, this unhealthy chains of a bond had borne.

♥︎ Thor casts off worry to the god of destruction, underlying despair as if he was waiting at any moment for something to be ripped away from the very foundation of his being. Shiva wonders what is happening between the both of you, those watchful eyes of yours alluring to each and every shadow, as if you were afraid and waiting for someone to come out of them. Shiva is wonderful when it came to relationships, he would like to think so, he was considered a very good husband by his wives after all. So he considers how he could be of help to the two of you. Shiva simply wonders what is wrong, you are a friend of his after all. He worries.

♥︎ This side to the thunder god had somewhat given Shiva surprise, he sneaks in, and around to check on you. He checks every corridor of Thor’s place of residence, he usually sees you here every time he comes by. ‘How odd’ He thinks to himself. It takes perhaps a considerable amount of time before he finally finds you, shouting your name across the hallways. Hearing audible shouts for help.

"Shiv-"

A cough, another one follows.

He was wide-eyed in surpise, even given pause in his steps before he continued forward to find the source of your voice. "Hey [Name]!" The destruction god shouts, stopping in his tracks once again to strain for your voice.

"Here! Please help me." He followed your plead without a second thought, finally finding where you found yourself in trouble. Shiva's second pair of arms open the door while his first pair had him scrambling for you, seeing your deflated form on the floor. He finds his heart tightened in pain, seeing one of his dear friends like this was no fun way to meet.

His first pair of arms lift under your own, lifting you up and sitting you on the ground now. Shiva's lips pursed in quiet concern, his expressed tone coming off in tendrils of worry, "What happened to ya?" He finally asks, his second pair of arms crossing together as he steadied himself to find calm.

Your face appeared to be oh so, tired, tired of about everything at this very moment. Even if you wished, you couldn't escape it. You didn't want this at all, that thunder god's twisted love. That heart of his was so soft and sweet in the beginning, now it had bone-crushed, into something worse. Your hands find purchase in his legs, trying to upright yourself without feeling your body dragged down by mental weight and back-handed words. Too much had happened, far too much.

Shiva winces as you suddenly almost fell, his two upfront hands coming to fence you from it actually happening in the process. He sighs, "Take it easy."

The words were hard to find, your voice coming off weary and cautious. "He, didn't let me off easy." A brow raises, his emotions swirling tremendously in the pit of his stomach. Worry makes room for fear, and soft anger at the subject you mentioned. "Thor kept me here for far too long."

The god of destruction inhales a sharp breath, seeing your worn and weary state, as if it were exploded by the thousand shards of shrapnel.

Now it suddenly made sense.

The thunder god's behavior, the snappy remarks at the mention of you. Why you had been left at the word of a disppearance for quite some time now.

"Hey, you don't gotta worry about him anymore." He says after the moments of silence, settling you between his arms as he carries you in the manner of a bride. Shiva shoots you a tiny smile, "You hear?"

The god of destruction was gonna have a serious talk with Thor, no matter how powerful he may be.

- 𝐎𝐝𝐢𝐧

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justmymindandstuff · 1 day

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Dragons and Roses Part 2 - Aegon II x Y/N Tyrell (Reader)

Summary: You are Helaena's childhood friend, your job at court is it to entertain the princess and be a friend to her. Your life is actually quite pleasant, and even her brother is no longer so unbearable for you. You would even call Aegon your friend. But everything changes and you slowly realize that your idyllic life in the Reed Keep isn't so idyllic after all. Everything you've been holding on to and belives in begins to crumble. (Part 2/ 3)

Words: 18.846

Warnings: canon typical violence, canon typical misogyny, enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn, angst, family problems, Viserys I is an ass and a bad father,

and as always english is not my native language// no beta reader so all mistakes are mine // GIF not mine.

A/N: Actually, the story should go in a completely different direction. The plan was to have a short enemys to lovers without a big subplot. That did not work. Because Part 2 is was geting too long and I still have ideas, there will be a Part 3. Anyways have fun :)

You can also read this on AO3

Part 1

The next few weeks are, to your surprise, more pleasant than you could have imagined. The weather is beautiful, the sun is shining and the temperatures are mild. You spend a lot of time with Helaena outside, picnicking, reading or sitting in the shadows under the trees and listening to musicians.

But this morning you spent with Aegon. He tried to convince you to visit Sunfyre but you refused to visit the monsters in the Dragonpit. He had laughed briefly about your fear, but then he accepted your decision. Aegon is really trying to be a friend. He's nice to you and his sister, holds back his drinking and fornication, doesn't make any more bitchy comments, and you've discovered that underneath his arrogant facade is an intelligent, witty young man. Even if it took you a while to get used to his humor. Now you walk back to Helaena's chambers. You open the door but than stop in surprise. You expected to find her alone, but it's not just the Queen who's here, it's Grand Maester Orwyle too. Helaena sits on her bed.

"Your Grace. " you say and sink into a curtsy befor the Queen.

“Lady Y/N good to have you here. ” says the Queen after she makes a hand gesture so you can stand up again. Worried you look over to Helaena, but she smiles to your relief. She waves you over to her, quickly you go to her and sit down next to her on the soft bed, she turns to you and you reach for her hand.

"Are you all right?" She told you a few days ago that she was feeling sick and you also notice that she wasn´t fit the last few days. A bit more tired then usually.

“Yes. The master says I’m pregnant. ” Surprised, you look at her and then you manage to force a smile on your face.

“How beautiful. ” You don't even know if you're serious. Your first thought is about the bruises on her body. But then you try to remember that Aegon is trying to do better.

“Yes, really good news. An heir to the throne. ” says Master Orwyle. You raise your eyebrows, Princess Rhaenyra has enough male heirs, it is unlikely that Aegon and his children will inherit the Iron Throne. But then the memory of the princes appears before your inner eye, with their dark eyes and hair, you remember all the rumours about the descent of the boys.

"Send for the King and Prince Aegon. " Says the Queen as she send a maid on her way.

“Are you happy?” you ask Helaena.

“I hope everything will be okay,” she answers evasively, but she smiles.

“My medical advice will be bed rest in the near future, especially in the early stages of pregnancy. ” says Master Orwyle, more to the Queen than to Helaena. You look outside and you can hardly suppress a sigh. You probably won't be able to enjoy the nice weather anymore. But maybe you could finally finish reading the Dornish fairy tales, the thick book has been untouched on the table for days now.

The doors of the chambers are opened and Aegon enters, his cheeks still a little red from the sun outside. “I was just on my way to Sunfyre. ”He says to his mother and sounds a bit like a child who has been forbidden to play his favorite game.

“There is something more important than your dragon. ” answer the Queen.

"And what?"

“You will find out as soon as your father gets here.”

Aegon just rolls his eyes. “What does he want? Wait it doesn’t matter, I don´t care. ” Queen Alicent sighs at his tone and shakes her head disapprovingly. Aegon looks around for a moment, then grabs the wine on the table and falls on the chair. He just seems to notice the presence of the Maester and he looks to his sister in bed. “Did something happen? Are you sick?” his voice no longer sounds so bored, but also hardly worried. You give him an angry look, but he only smiles at you for a moment.

"Aegon. . . " begins the Queen with suppressed anger in her voice, but she is interrupted when the door opens again and the King and Lord Hightower, the King's Hand, enter.

“What’s going on?” Helaena’s grandfather asks, even he sounds more concerned than Aegon.

“Good news. ” answer the Queen and look at Helaena with a smile. Aegon is also a bit curious.

“I am pregnant. ” answer Helaena now and smiles at her father, you can see in her eyes that she wants a positive reaction from him. The King nods and a slight smile appears on his face.

"Good. That’s good news. " He says, and then pats Aegon firmly on the shoulder. “Well done, my boy. ” Aegon twists his face and twitches away from his father. All the colour is gone from his face and his hand is cramped around his cup of wine. The King nods to Helaena once more, then he leaves the chambers again, the King's hand follows him on his foot. You see tears rising into Helena's eyes, but she blinks them bravely away. You squeeze her hand a little tighter.

“Can I go?” Aegon asks his mother.

“Yes.“ the Queen sounds tired. Aegon gets up and almost runs from the room. You want to run after him to complain about his behavior, but you know Helaena needs you right now, so you stay seated next to her on the bed.

"Is Father happy?" The Queen takes a few deep breaths and blinks away tears, then she comes to you and sits on Helaena's other side. She, too, reaches for her hand.

“Of course. He’s overjoyed.” She says it with a forced smile. You can see in her face that she's fighting but she manages to keep that smile on her face. For her daughter.

The maester says goodbye after a moment and promises that his assistant will bring a tea for Helaena, which strengthens mother and son. How does he know that the child will become a son? The Queen talks a little more about her pregnancies and that everything was very simple and went well, while she strokes Helaena's hair. You sit in silence with both of them and just listen. You know little about pregnancies, only the horror stories about bleeding, dying mothers who are left in childbed while fathers celebrate the birth of their sons and heirs. But of course you don't say anything. Helaena is a princess, she will get the best medical care. But even that couldn't save the king's first wife, is it true that he had her cut open to save the prince? A prince who lived only a few hours. You don't want to think about a long-dead Queen and focus on Helaena and the Queen's words about how beautiful it is to be a mother and how happy Helaena will be when she holds her child in her arms. It is getting late and at some point the Queen calls for the maids for Helaena. You rise from the soft bed, your back hurts a little because you have been sitting for so long, yet you stretch your back and smooth the skirt of your dress.

“Are you staying here tonight?” Helaena suddenly asks you. The memories of your childhood come up, countless times you slept in Helena's bed. One night she'd whispered in the dark that her dreams were scaring her, but when you're with her, she knows nothing bad can happen. You were so young then. Maybe 8 or 9. Helaena didn't understand her dreams then, probably she still doesn't. But after her marriage to Aegon, he threw you out of her room one night, drunk, and from then on, your sleepovers became less frequent until they stopped. You look at the Queen, she nods and smiles at you.

“Yes, of course. ” you then answer Helaena.

You toss restlessly on the soft mattress. Somehow you can't find sleep, repeatedly you startle from short half-sleep phases. But you don't know why, your thoughts revolve around nothing in particular. You just have a bad feeling, even if you don't understand why. You hear the door open and when it quietly closes again you sit straight in bed. Helaena next to you turns to the other side, but she continues to sleep. You try to look through the curtains in front of her bed, a candle is lit and a figure appears. Quickly you jump out of bed, all your muscles are tense and you breathe to call for the guards, but then you recognize Aegon.

“What are you doing here?” he twitches in fright, his hand twitches to his side, probably to pull a Dagger or something like this, but then he recognizes you. He falls on one of the chairs at the table. You approach him and are glad that the candle gives little light, because as your bare feet step from the carpet onto the cold stone floor, you realize that you are only wearing your nightgown. You notice how the blush shoots in your cheeks but Aegon doesn't seem to notice your outfit or your shame.

“I didn’t expect you here. Aemond, maybe not you. ” he whispers as you sit at the table next to him. Now that you're close to him, you can smell the beer and the wine and the sweat hanging from his clothes. He had most likely spent the night in Flea Bottom.

“What do you mean? Why Aemond?” you say, pulling your eyebrows together, which makes Aegon laugh. He's really drunk.

“It was a joke, little rose.” he says and looks over the table at you.

“Why are you making such jokes?” the night had not been very relaxing for you until now, and his presence here confuses you. Did he want to claim his marital rights? Helaena says he only does that when he's drunk. Aegon shrugs his shoulders, the darkness makes it hard to see his facial expressions.

“Maybe it’s because sometimes I wish Mother had married them. Maybe she’d be happier then.” his words hang between you and you don't know what to say. The silence almost becomes unpleasant, but then Aegon turns his head to the bed. “How is she?”

“Why the sudden worry?” you can still remember his lack of interest in the afternoon.

“I’m always worried about her, she’s my sister.” then he looks up to you and puts a finger on his lips. “But pssh little Rose, I don’t want anyone to know. I have a reputation to lose. ”

You roll your eyes at what he says. “She’s fine, she’s worried if everything will be fine. But your mother says its normal to worry and everything will be alright.” Aegon nods and you are silent for a moment, then he gets up with a swing. Surprised by his sudden movement and the elegance in it, even though he's obviously had too much to drink, you look up to him.

“Sleep well, little Rose.”

“I am not a little rose. ” you answer, but he just laughs softly again. “Good night, little prince.” Then you answer to annoy him a little, but immediately you regret it. Maybe you got too brave in front of him. Immediately, fear of his anger rises up in you. But Aegon only laughs quietly again and then sneaks out of the room. You sigh, blow out the candle in front of you and go back to bed. Maybe you can get some sleep before the sun comes up again.

To celebrate the pregnancy, the King organizes a large hunting party. For whatever reason, neither Helaena nor Aegon are interested in hunting. The King doesn't seem to care. So a few days later, you're sitting next to Helaena in the stuffy carriage on the way to the Kingswood. The curtains in front of the windows are closed so that the sun does not shine inside and you count the minutes until you can leave the stuffy vehicle again. Even Helaena next to you is in a bad mood.

“I wish we could have stayed at the Red Keep. ” she say and play with the fringes of the pillow next to her. “Whether I’m sitting in my rooms or in a tent. Mother didn’t even allow me to bring Dreamfyre. ”

“You are not allowed to ride your dragon until the baby is born. ” you repeat the Queen's words. Helaena rolls her eyes.

“Aegon and Aemond also come on Sunfyre and Vhagar. ”

“You know very well that this is counterproductive, the two dragons are going to scare away all the venison. It’s not going to be a successful hunt. ”

Helaena just shrugs her shoulders. The carriage stumbles and you get out. There are already many gathered, you recognize the usual small and large houses of Westeros. For the royale hunt a small camp was set up in the Kingswood, there are tents everywhere, and a large campfire is set up in the middle.

You don't really want to spend the next two days in the woods, but it´s not like you have a choice. A loud roar catches your attention, you look up and in the next moment you see two dragons falling from the sky, Vaghar is obviously much bigger than Sunfyre, but as the two approach the ground in orbit, the sun reflects on the golden dragon's scales and even if you are afraid you can't help but marvel at the dragon's beauty. Everyone says Sunfyre is the most beautiful of the Tagaryen dragons. You can't understand the beauty of these monsters, but the way the dragon moves gracefully through the air and lands almost lightly in the middle of the camp, you have to admit that you are impressed. When Vaghar lands a moment later, the whole earth trembles. Aegon slips from his saddle and Aemond lands a moment later next to his brother. The people around start clapping as the princes walk through the camp to the royal family's tent.

"Come on. " Helanea says, together you follow her brothers. When you arrive at the tent entrance, Aemond holds the cloth, which forms the entrance, to the side and you can enter. Aegon waves directly to one of the servants, who brings him a cup of wine.

“Is it wise to drink before hunting?” you ask.

He's just smiling at you.“Of course, otherwise I can’t stand all this. What a waste of time. ” You want to contradict him, but he's right. This is supposed to be a feast for Helaena and Aegon, but neither of them wants to be here. Still, you answer him.

“The King means well, he wants to make you happy and celebrate your child. ”

“He doesn’t give a shit about us. ”

"Aegon, be quiet. " hiss Aemond next to you and give his brother an angry look.

"Isn't it the truth?"

“No truth for the public.” the two princes exchange a glance and Aegon nods, then he turns back to his wine. “Come on, Lady Y/N, we’ll get you something to drink. ” Aemond holds his arm for you, and you take it. He pulls you away from the others through the tent to the edge. You notice the looks of the Lord and Lady present on you, of course you also have a prince on your arm. Aemond is a lot taller than you, but he shortens his strides so you can walk comfortably next to him.

“Is Helaena all right?” he asks, as you stand next to the buffet of cakes, fruit, sweets, nuts and other pastries, as well as Dornish wine and other drinks. Aemond grabs a sweet tea from Essos, which you like to drink, and hands you a cup.

"Yes, but why don't you ask her yourself?"

“Mother says I sould not interfere much in this pregnancy. ”

“What do you mean?”

“Not important.” he answers you with an unmoved face. Is there anything that can upset Ameond?

“You don’t mean no truth for the public?” you repeat his words, even if you’re not so sure what it means. Maybe you should ask Aegon, after all, you're friends now, and you've already talked about not lying to your friends. Aegon calls it Tyrell Lessons, but you think that's sound ridiculous.

“No lie for the public. ” what Aemond tells you confuses you even more. You miss the time when your only connection to this family was Helaena and her strange dreams and riddles that may or may not predict the future.

The day drags on with boring conversations and too much sweet cake. The Queen does her best to entertain the ladies of the court, but the highlight of the day is when the hunting party sets off and returns. Seeing Aegon and Aemond on horses is a bit strange, especially with Aemond you can see that he usually rides a giant monster and not a small horse. Helaena sits bravely next to the Queen, you know she hates all the attention, but there's nothing you can do to help her except sit on the edge and give her a cheerful smile every now and then. The ladies of the court are so busy with their gossip that they don't even realize how meaningless it all really is. Maybe it's important to them, but you can´t bring yourself to care. Why does it matter which lord cheats on his wife with whom? You don't see the point. Some of the ladies are trying to get out of the Queen if Aemond has already chosen a bride.

“This is my son’s decision. ” she answers them in a diplomatic tone. Some of the older ladies tell Helaena about their pregnancies and births, but it's more of horror stories about pain and blood, so nothing that really helps her. But something bothers you about all this, every now and then the word heir comes up. Aegon is not his father's heir. He's the firstborn son, yes. But he is not the heir, so neither will his child inherit the Iron Throne. Jacaerys is his mother's heir, he will inherit the throne, not the unborn child in Helena's womb. It seems like all these ladies have forgotten. The day drags on, you have become sick from all the little cakes you have eaten, and when a horn sounds, announcing the return of the King's hunting party, you must suppress a sigh of relief. The King arrives at the head of the caravan riding back to camp. His sons next to him, while Aemond wears an unmoving face, you can tell by Aegon's face that he's in a terrible mood. His feet hardly touch the ground, as he calls a servant for a cup of wine. The men are slowly dispersed throughout the camp, the prey is sheared and prepared for the big feast in the evening. You stay at Helaenas side and sip your cup of wine.

“Finally, this horror is over. ” she whispers relieved. "Did you not like the attention of the ladies, Sister?" Ameond sounds a little amused, or at least what comes close to amused. He has walked to you so quietly, you didn´t hear him.

“Of course not. ” answers Helaena her brother. “How did you like the hunt?”

“Just as good as you like your day. ” For a moment you hope for a quiet evening, but the King demands music, wine and dancing and so much of the camp turns into a drunken brawl. At least Aegon will have fun today. You sigh, but you don't say anything, and you try to stay in the background.

But Aemond doesn't seem to support your plan. “My Lady Tyrell will you accompany me for a few steps?”

“Of course. “ you're saying because you can't say no, Ameond holds his arm for you and you take him agaon. You walk side by side along the edge of the camp. Again, he shortens his steps so that you can walk beside him without any problems.

“You don’t really like these feasts. ” it is not a question, rather a statement. Actually, you are always looking forward to the feasts at court, you love to dance and be among people. But this hunt is not what it seems to be. The King claims it's to celebrate Helaena and Aegon, and their child. But this is all for the King alone. He wanted this hunt. Not Helaena or Aegon. So it all has a bitter aftertaste.

“Neither do you. ”

Aemond nods. “It’s exhausting. ”

“Yes.” your conversation is stalled because you don't know what to say to him. “How is the bridal show going?” you ask after the silence between you has become uncomfortable. It was the first thing that came to your mind.

Aemond laughs briefly and then shakes his head slightly. “I’m grateful for what you’re doing for Aegon. ” he won't answer your question and just changes the subject to his brother.

“What do you mean?” you ask confusedly.

“You’re a friend to him, that’s good for him. He’s not as restless as he used to be. I just wanted to say thank you. ” Aemond stops, behind you are hundreds of people drinking, talking and dancing to music. The prince kisses the back of your hand and nods lightly. “Thank you Y/N,” he says again, then turns away and goes to the others.

You take a deep breath, the air is filled with smoke and noise. There's a strange feeling inside you. Yes, Aegon has changed in recent weeks. Yes Project Friendship seems to work quite well. He's leaving Helaena alone, he's not being mean to you anymore, and according to Aemond, he seems to be feeling better. But it can't all be because you spend time with him now and then, can it? Would he go right back to his old ways if you didn't have time for him? You're feeling pressured, but the volume around you makes it hard for you to think in peace. You turn your back on the camp and walk a few steps into the Kingswood. As soon as the trees behind you are a little denser again, it will be quiet and you can breathe in the fresh air.

You still don’t fully understand the reason for his sudden behavioral reflection, even though you’re now sure that he’s not just pretending to want to change, but that he really wants to change. And you can help him with that. But do you really want to take full responsibility for Aegon's mood? Oh, no. It's not your job. Will he be cruel again if you fight? Your temples begin to throb with all this questions, and at the thought of going back to camp, an unpleasant feeling spreads in your stomach.

You just need a little rest and then you can rejoin the partying society to play the perfect lady. You continue to walk through the forest until you come to a small clearing. The light of the moon is no longer blocked from the treetops. The scene in front of you is almost romantic, but you have no head for it now. Talking to Aemond was confusing and you're tired of the whole day of pretending. Maybe you should talk to Aegon about your concerns? But how do you start such a conversation? A voice pulls you out of your mind.

“Your father keeps telling that you’re going to be the new princess, little Lady Tyrell. ” You turn to the side and recognize Lord Tristan Lannister. A son of Lord Tyland's cousin, or something like this, maybe a son from a Aunt? It doesn´t really matter. He speaks in a cold voice and comes over the small clearing where you stand. You freeze in your movement. Why is he lying? What does he even mean? What did your father say?

“Pardon me, I don’t know what you’re talking about. ” you answer honestly and want to move back to the hunting camp, but Tristan gets in your way.

“Yes, you innocent little Rose, what a good game you are playing. To pretend to be the princess friend in order to get close to her brother. My father is terribly angry you must know. For years he has maintained good relations with the King, brought my sister to court a year early only for a boring rose to snatch away her position? I don’t think so!”

“I really don’t know what you mean. Now leave me alone!” you hissed angrily, but the Lannister doesn’t back down from you, you know they tried to get Lord Jason or his twin brother engaged to Princess Rhaenyra, but that was years ago. Apparently they have now tried to suggest Lady Ellisan as a potential bride for Aemond, but what do you have to do with it?

"I'm not going to stand by and watch my family's efforts go down in the sand yet again, and I'm sure the Prince won't find any favour in a Lady with a disfigured face.” and with that, he grabs your arm. You reach out to punch him in the face, but he intercepts your hand and painfully twists your wrist. But suddenly he falters in his movement and his eyes become wide, you notice hot air in your back and the smell of sulfur is in the air.

“Is there a problem here?” Aegon's voice sounds cold as ice, but you've never been so glad to hear it.

The grip around your arm has loosened, and you manage to tear yourself loose and turn around. Aegon is right behind you, and behind him, still half hidden in the shadow of the trees, Sunyfre. The gold of his eyes shimmer in the dark, and with every breath he takes you can see golden flames in his throat. He's ready to spit fire any second. Aegon steps forward, grabs your arm, more carefully than you would have expected from him, and pushes you behind him, but he won't let go of your arm. You see the tension in his shoulders, and as you walked past him you saw the anger in his look, now you are glad that he is standing with his back to you, because his voice is just so full of hate that you shiver.

You try to focus on Tristan's words, but you can't. You feel the heat of the dragon breath far too much in your neck, you feel the heat it radiates through your body, and panicked anxiety rises in you. Aegon says something in high Valyrian and in that brief moment you resent the fact that you never even learned it in the first place. Helaena had offered to teach you words a few times, and you could have attended her classes too, But you didn't want to have anything to do with that strange language. Sunfyre suddenly roars up loudly a sound which sounds similar to a growl, only much more threatening.

"What's going on here?" suddenly the King came, kicked out of the forest, with two royal guards and the Queen at his side. The king is leaning on his walking stick, but his whole body is trembling with anger, and that doesn't make him seem as frail as usual, almost like the authority figure he's supposed to be. The Lannister boy turns to the side and you recognize the hint of a smile.

“The prince threatened me with his dragon! He was angry because I shot a deer in the morning, which he missed. He wanted revenge. Your Grace, please help me. ” He's such a good and convincing liar, you probably would have believed him yourself if you hadn't been there.

“How dare you Aegon!” the King yells at his son. "Don't worry Lord Tristan he'll leave you alone in the future. Go back to your father, I'll take care of it. " The Lannister almost runs from the meadow, and the Queen sends her sworn shield Ser Cristion after him.

“That’s not true at all.” Aegon says now, still angry, but the King does not listen to him.

“How can you frighten the poor boy, because of something as small as a hunt?” Sunfyre makes another angry roar and you twitch in horror as the golden monster stands up to its full size.

“Aegon, get your dragon under control. ”calls the Queen, but he does not respond and only watches Sunfyre gnashing his teeth and making a step on the King. He's on the same level as you two, you're getting close to Aegon, so he's between you and the dragon. There's something in Aegon's eyes that you can't figure out, but it scares you. Would the dragon spit fire without Aegon's command? The Queen opens her mouth, but Aegon is faster. “I have him under control.” then another Valyrian word and Sunfyr retreats behind Aegon.

“We don’t control the dragons! It’s not a pet. I thought I raised you better, but maybe you’re not up to the responsibility. ”

Aegon's eyes sparkle pure anger. “You didn’t raise me at all! You don’t care about me at all. ” after he yells, it's so quiet in the clearing that you can hear your heartbeat in your ears. The King shakes his head and turns around without a word and leaves the clearing, just like the Queen and the guards.

You want to follow them, but Sunfyre bumps his head to the side so that you look straight into his eyes, startled you back, sheer panic rises up. And you reach for Aegon's arm in terror, you know your grip is way too strong and he's probably hurting.

“Aegon!” your voice trembles with fear and you must suppress a sob.

“It’s okay. I told him to protect you. ” says Aegon and then add something in high Valyrian. The dragon turns its head to him and Aegon gently strokes over the golden scales on his nose. Sunfyre expels hot air through its nostrils. You can look into the dragon's eyes from here and you're surprised how much intelligence is behind it. You didn't even realize you raised your hand, but before you touch the golden scales, you twitch back.

“You can touch him. ”

“I don’t want to. ” You say and take a step back. “Thank you, Aegon. For helping me. ” Aegon nods and when you want to leave the clearing this time Sunfyre allows it.

You're surprised when you step back into the hunting camp, all the people drinking and laughing and talking like nothing happened. Because no one noticed. The sudden volume around you makes your temples pound again and the light of the fire burns in your eyes. You take a deep breath, but the air here isn't so fresh anymore.

It smells of horses, fire, wine, meat and people. Right now everything is just too much for you, you just want to be alone. You turn towards your tent, but your father stands in your way.

Your father, who's obviously so drunk, he's talking all over the place that you are going to be the new princess of the realm. It's your father's fault! His stupid plans got you in the situation with the Lannisters. But why? And what is he planning anyway? Isn't it enough that he dragged you away from your family when you were barely old enough to speak? That he took you away from your mother? You'd never have a real relationship with her, you've been separated for too long. And it's all his fault!

An irrational rage rises in you, and for a split second, you want Aegon to burn him with Sunyre. But then you shake your head, the thoughts are not the truth, it's just the stress of the evening that makes you think like that. But if there wasn't some truth to it, where did these thoughts, this anger, come from? You have to suppress a sigh and blink a few times, the anger flies away as quickly as it came and remains an unimaginable numbness. You want to just disappear, but where? You have no answer except to just get away from everyone.

“Is everything all right, kid?”

“Yes, Father. ” You're lying, but you can't smile. Your father doesn't seem to notice, as drunk as he is.

“Good. ”

“I’m tired. Good night. ”

“Good night, my child. ” he strokes your hair and then turns to some men in Hightower green. You enter your family's tent and finally it's dark, but not completely quiet yet. You breathe deeply, your hair smells a little of sulfur and dragon, you would like to let yourself sink into a hot tub. You know there's hundreds of people out there, but you're still feeling unbelievably alone right now. The tent opens again and you turn around and expect your father to stand behind you, but it's Helaena. She doesn't say a word, but spreads her arms and you fall into her embrace. Out of nowhere, tears come into your eyes and you start to cry, your friend strokes your back and sways you lightly back and forth like a little child.

Your mood after the Royal hunt had only relaxed outwardly, you try to forget the memory of that evening as best you can, but you find that you feel more and more left alone. The contact with your family in Highgarden was always bad, but somehow you can't even answer your mother's letters anymore. You don't care what she thinks anymore. You notice how everything inside of you is reluctant to write a nice answer, as she expects from you. Although at first you were sad that Helaena now has to spend most of her time in her rooms, you are now at the point where you enjoy the dark room and the peace and quiet there. There, no one expects anything from you and you can sit on the comfortable sofa all day long, read or even just stare at the flames of the fire. You and Helaena have talked a lot about why you were suddenly so angry at your father, where that sudden hatred came from, but you haven't found a real solution. Helaena is not a real expert on paternal affection, but at least she still had her mother. The only thing she's convinced of is that fathers always want what's best for their children. Aemond had sent you a short letter apologizing for the incident with Lord Tristan Lannister and promising to take care of the matter, even if you don't know what that means. Nor why he's apologizing to you. He had nothing to do with it.

You sit next to Helaena on the soft sofa in her rooms and read some Dornish fairy tales. The fire next to you rattles quietly, the curtains are closed because the Master said so. But you know the sun is shining outside, but you still don't want to go out. You want to sit here in these dark rooms and forget about the world outside. But the world has not forgotten you. The door opens without knocking, and Aegon comes in without being asked in. You look up from the book and even Helaena turns completely to the door

“Aegon.” she says surprised and puts aside her handiwork.

“Sister.” He says, but then turn to yourself. "I've been looking for you."

“I was here. ” you answer. Aegon looks around the darkened rooms and then draws his eyebrows together.

“I thought we were going for a walk. The weather is nice. ”

“I’ll stay here. ” you say. Helaena looks back and forth between you, and then she starts talking.

“No, please Y/N enjoy the sun you don’t have to be locked in here with me. It’s boring here and if I have to be inside, you can enjoy the sun for both of us.”

“I’m not locked. . ” you start, but Aegon just interrupts you.

“You see, even my sister sees it that way. Come on. ” His voice is no contradiction and he holds his arm to you, but you ignore him and look to Helaena. She's smiling at you.

“For me?” and she won. You sigh and nod. Then you walk past Aegon without paying attention to his arm and leave Helaena's chambers for the first time in days. The Prince follows you quickly and it doesn't take long and you walk side by side through the beautiful gardens of the Reed Keep. The sun is burning on your skin but it's feels good.

“You shouldn’t lock yourself up with Helaena. ” Aegon starts after a moment, his gaze is attentive to you and you are uncomfortable. Why can't he just drink wine and fuck whores and leave you alone? Just like the last few years. But no, you had to feel sorry for the lonely prince. You regret your decision for a moment, but then you think back to Helena's bruises, the fear you've always had around Aegon, the night before he attacked you, the screaming in the guard, the desperate queen crying over her son's behavior, and you're glad that this person isn't the same person standing before you.

“I don’t lock myself in, I spend time with her. ”

"You're hiding. "

“That’s not true. ” you answer and stop, you folds your arms in front of youf chest and looks at him furiously. You feel like a defiant toddler anyway, so you can act like one.

“But you do. You hide with Helaena in the dark, and let her fill your head with her stupid riddles. ” insists Aegon, with that arrogant and at the same time bored tone that annoys you so terribly. Maybe the lonely, cruel prince isn't gone yet. But you didn't expect a 360-degree turn of character in a few months.

“You don’t have to be interested. ” you hiss at him, you notice a couple of people turning to you, and immediately you notice the blushes shooting in your cheeks. "Leave me alone. " You say, you didn't notice how loud your voice got. Aegon's jaw is tightening, and you know he's pissed. Now he'd be yelling at you, you'd be arguing, and your friendship experiment has failed. But Aegon reacts completely differently, he sighs and steps towards you. He raises his hands defensively.

“I didn’t mean to make you angry. I just don’t want you to sink in a hole. ”

“I’m not sinking into a hole.” you give up your tense posture and breathe in the fresh air. “I should better go back inside. ”

“To sneak up with my crazy sister again. ” You roll your eyes and get mad at him again.

"Why are you so mean and dismissive of Helaena?" you ask now, you make sure you don't scream again. Why does he always have to call Helaena crazy? She's not! "I still remember a time when it was different. " You add that.

They're pale memories, memories of your childhood. A childhood where you grew up with Aegon, Aemond and Helaena, and you were somehow happy in a strange way.

"When we were kids?" Aegon asks, he holds his arm back to you, but you don't take it, you just walk next to him. There's no longer two steps between you, but that's okay with you. You nod at his question. "Before my mother married me to my sister. Without my will. "

"It wasn't Helaena's will either. "

"I know. But it's been different since then. You said honesty is important with friends, so I want to be honest. I know my Tyrell lessons. “ He smiles at you from the side and you have to roll your eyes, but still you have to smile lightly. “But I haven’t told anyone yet."

"I won't talk to anyone about it. " you promise.

"After mum decided that I should marry Helaena, it was strange for me. I couldn't quite understand what it meant. And then at some point I realised what marriage meant. You know how my family is, so it wasn't quite as strange for me as it might have been for outsiders, but it was still strange. After all, she is my sister. I couldn't relate to her the way I did when we were kids. Not with the knowledge. So I started to ignore her. Then we got married. And you know how that marriage goes.” he laughs briefly, even though there's nothing funny about the situation.

Even though you resisted for a long time, even though you actually wanted to hate Aegon and for a while you did, you feel sorry for him. Over the years, you have turned Aegon into an enemy in your mind. Helaena's enemy and therefore your enemy. Even though he tried to mend his ways, you couldn't really forgive him for the way he treated Helaena all this time. But after his words, you realise that Aegon has no choice either. Yes, Helena probably doesn't deserve Aegon. But Aegon doesn't deserve all the suffering his family has put him through either. And if you're honest, you haven´t even try to understand him the whole time, you just hated him. Because that was easier for you. Black and white is easier than grey.

"I'm sorry. I'm sure it's not easy for you either."

"Thanks. But there’s no reason to make things any harder for Helaena.” You are surprised by this admission, or was it more of a statement? "I know we have a duty. As Tagaryans, as monarchs, as part of this family. But I can't share the bed with her sober. I've tried, honestly. But I can't, so I drink and bring it quickly behind me. I don't want to hurt her at all. She is my sister and I love her as my sister. But at the same time it makes me so angry that she is also my wife and that I have to share the bed with her. I can hardly look at her face anymore because I'm so ashamed.”

A single tear runs down his cheek, Aegon quickly wipes it away, but you saw it. You don't know what to say, you can't find the right words. Are there even right words for something like this? So you reach for his hand and squeeze it lightly, you want to show him that he is not alone with his feelings.

“Thanks for telling me that.”

Aegon looks at you in surprise and then smiles slightly. “It feels good to have talked about it.” he squeezes your hand ever so slightly. Then he sighs. “Well, luckily the problem has been solved for now.”

"Are you happy?"

He snorts. “Do you want an honest answer?”

"Of course."

“I have no idea what I´m feeling,” he says after a moment. You nod, not knowing what to say again. "I'm not happy, but Its not like that I don't care either. I don't know." He shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t want to think about it.”

You actually want to say something more, but you bite your lip. You want Aegon to respect your boundaries, so you have to respect his too.

“Alright.” You say and stop again. You close your eyes and hold your face in the sun, maybe it wasn't good for you to sit in the dark for several days.

After a moment you continue to walk in silence and as you start moving again you realize that you are still holding Aegon's hand, your fingers intertwined together, completely unconsciously. Surprised by this you release your hand from his, you feel his gaze on you, but you don't turn around to look him in the face. You just keep walking and he walks beside you in silence. The beautiful weather not only drove you two out of the Red Keep, but countless others as well. You notice how they keep giving you looks. But you don't care, you now understand that it doesn't matter what you do.

People would talk about you anyway, judge you and assume things about you. Your father used to tell you that you had to behave perfectly at court and that you couldn't make any mistakes. And you've lived your whole life based on it. You tried to be perfect. And what did it bring you? Insinuations, lies, and the clarity that this world is unfair.

For a split second you consider reaching for Aegon's hand again, knowing there will be talking, but you quickly change your mind. A comfortable silence spreads between you. You try not to think about anything and concentrate on the beautiful gardens, trying to get the faint memory of Highgarden back in your mind at the same time, but you were so young when you were taken away that it's hard for you. You stand on one of the bushes and scratch over the open flower. From somewhere you hear a familiar melody playing and you close your eyes. You breathe the warm summer air and for a moment you are tempted to imagine what your life would have been like if you hadn't been brought to court. How different it would have been if you had grown up in Highgarden. Aegon's hand on your back takes you away from your thoughts, the touch is slightly, and when you open your eyes again and turn to him, he has already take one step back and you're not sure if you just imagined his touch.

"Do you feel better?“ he asks. You're shaking your head.

"No. But I'm gonna figure it out. I just feel lonely.” you answer honestly.

"You are not." he says, trying to bring a smile to his lips. Then he is quiet, maybe he doesn't know what else to say. Aegon turns in the direction from which the melody of the harbour comes. "The Knights of the Rose." he says after a moment and you are surprised that he knows the song. "Mother used to sing it for me to sleep." You almost forgot that the Queen is from Old Town. The big city in the Reach shares the same culture as Highgarden

“My Nursemaid did this too.” when you came to King's Landing, she accompanied you. But she was old and left you shortly after your first moonblood."You are now grown up, my child. You don't need me anymore." You're shaking your head to shake away your thoughts about the past. "I want to go back." you say after a moment. This time Aegon doesn´t contradict and accompany you on your way back to Helana's rooms.

"I will go looking for Aemond," he says when you reach the interior of the castle, the alleys are cool on your sun-heated skin. "If you allow My Lady Tyrell, my brother and me will attend dinner with you and my Lady sitster today?“

You laugh at his formal tone for a moment, and then you sneeze.

“Helaena would be happy.”

"And you?“

"I´m too.” You answer honestly and give Aegon a smile.

The summer is moving forward and a tournament is being prepared for the King's Nameday in a few weeks. To your surprise, Princess Rhaenyra has arrived with her children and her uncle-husband Daemon.

The Red Keep is now even more full than usual and the usual chaos is increased again. In Helaena's rooms, fortunately, you don't get so much of it. But you're not the only one who uses her rooms as a secret retreat to hide from the royal court. The princes do the same. Aegon curses Rhaenyra and her annoying sons most of the time. Aemond calls them bastards and Helaena and you sit in silent. In the meantime, you can already see a small rounding of her belly. The princess react to the news of the pregnancy with a smile and "My congratulations sweet sister." After that she continued to ignore Helaena and her other siblings. But it's not like Aegon, Helaena, and Aemond behave differently. Most of the time they get away from the princess, her husband and their sons.

Dinner now takes place regularly in Helaena's rooms. You feel comfortable with the siblings, even if you don't really belong to them, they won't show you. You feel like you four have a little secret bond. It's a nice feeling to be part of it. Every time Aemond enters his sister's room, he pulls away the heavy curtains from the windows and lets the light of the evening sun in.

"The Masters have said that the sun is not good for Heleana."

"Nonsense. Everywhere, healthy children are born, even though their mothers are still working on the fields.”

"Fuck the masters." Aegon accepts his brother and helps himself with the wine. So you stop complaning after the second day. Maybe they're both right.

You sit at the table next to Helaena. The servants have already brought dinner, and you're giving yourself some wine from one of the pots. The princes sat opposite you and you started eating.

"You flew today, right?“ Helaena turns to her brothers, you know she misses her dragon, even though she does not fly often.

"Yes Vaghar has graciously hanged Sunfryre."

"She's three times as big as him." Aegon immediately defends his dragon.

“I won anyway. Usually, he's a little bit nimble."

Aegon turns his eyes. "He wasn´t in the right headspace."

"What do you mean?“ Helaena asks anxiously.

"I don't know. I just feel that he's restless. Something's wrong."

"You feel it?" you ask now confused. What does that mean?

"Yes," says Aegon as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

"We have a kind of bond with our dragons." Aemond starts explaining and he sounds like the Septa who taught you. "A connection. We can feel when something is not right, they can feel if something is wrong with us. They will find us wherever we are.”

You look at them in surprise, to be honest, you've never paying attention to the monsters they're riding on, your fear is too buf. But a bond between rider and dragons? You didn't expect that.

"The Dragonkeeper say Aegon and Sunfrey's bond is the strongest they've seen in years." say Helaena, surprised you look at Aegon and notice that his ears become slightly red. You hide a smile by taking a sip of wine.

"Enough of dragons." Aegon ends the topic.

"The dragon dances over the fire of the river." says Helaena suddenly in a serious tone.

Aemond looks at her confused, while Aegon rolls his eyes. "Please, sister, no riddels."

"Let her." you say quickly, but Helaena retreats and begins to play with the small wooden figures of dragons, beetles and spiders on the table.

Angry, you turn to Aegon. "You made her angry." Helaena needs a lot of rest right now because of her pregnancy and you know it's difficult for her when no one listens and understands her.

"I didn't. It makes no sense at all what she says, rivers are not made of fire and dragons do not dance!“

“But...” Aegon doesn't let you say anything, but turns his eyes and gives a sigh of himself.

"It is enough if Helaena has only her riddels in her head, not you too." Angry at his ignorance, you loudly drop your fork into your plate and sparkle it. "If you just listen to her, you could help find out what the mysteries mean." Aegon just starts laughing. No cheerful laughter, no, he's laughing at you, directly in your face. Anger rises in you, you breathe deep to calm down.

Aemond puts his cup loudly on the table and throws a angry look at you and Aegon. "Helaena shouldn't be upset." He says in a strict tone.

"Aegon upsets her."

"Your bickering upsets her." answers Aegon. God, you want to wipe his arrogant smile off his face! Why does he make you so angry again? And so fast.

"Stop laughing." You are suddenly screaming, surprised by your outburst of anger Helaena and Aemond tremble together. Aegon stops laughing and looks at you surprised. You bite your lip and look to the ground ashamed. "I'm sorry." You say quickly. You shouldn't have screamed

“Y/N.” Aegon's voice is quiet now and you look up again to look at him. “I’m sorry, too. I will listen to Helaena from now on.” Aegon turns to his sister. "I'm sorry I upset you."

Helaena is still playing with the wooden figures, but she's looking at you and her brother. Then she smiles shy. "It's okay. Sometimes I don't even understand what I'm saying. Really Y/N. You don't have to fight for me all the time."

Yes you have to! That's your job. You're her best friend. You have to protect her. But you don´t want to upset her again, so you keep quiet. You finish your meal in unpleasant silence. Afte Aegon ccompany you back to your cambers, you would have preferred to go alone, but he insisted. You are silent as you walk through the hallway."

"Are we still friends?" Aegon suddenly breaks the silence. You are surprised by the uncertainty in his voice and you look at him from the side.

"Of course." you say quickly.

Aegon is nods. "Good. I was just af..." he interrupts himself. "Good." You're coming to your door.

"Sleep well, Aegon." You tell him and open your door. Aegon looks past you into your room, he's never been in your room before, so you can understand his curiosity.

"Sleep well little Rose."

"Little Prince." you say, courtsey and laugh at his turning eyes before you go into your rooms. You give up calling your maid and getting yourself ready for bed. You have a bad conscience because you've become so angry at dinner, but you're upset when Aegon is so arrogant. And if he ignores Helaena. You don't really feel like somebody's interested in her riddles. But she sees the future. Or? Nobody believes that, so why are you so sure? What do you know about Tagaryen magic? You put the thought aside and lie down in your soft bed.

The masters threw you out of the princess's chambers for a examination, but before you even got close to your rooms, Aegon caught you to play a round of cards with him in the garden. So you sit in one of the pavilions and have servants bring you wine and cakes. After your second cup, you put your hand on your cup when the servant wants to refill. It's pretty early in the day and you don’t want to spend the rest of the day drunk.

"You're boring." Aegon laugs and wins the next round of your game.

"That's not true!" you say.

"Of course, you always behave like a perfect lady. Always stay behind the walls of the Red Keeps and do what your father tells you. When was the last time you were in Kings Landing?"

His words make you a little angry. You don't always do what your father tells you to do, you just listen to your father, even if it hurts you. You're his daughter, you have to listen to him, and he always wants the best for you. That's what Helaena said, fathers always want the best for you.

"It's dangerous there." You answer Aegon's question, you've been out of town for a long time, not without guards.

"No! It's exciting. Come with me to the city for one night. Have a little fun. And don't worry, I'll keep you safe.” There's a strange feeling under your skin, and even if you know it's dangerous and you'll regret it, the offer is too tempting in a strangely way.

"But only one night." you agree.

Aegon laughs triumphantly at you. "Perfect. I'll send you a message with our meeting point and the way." he says, pushes the cards together and stands up swinging.

"I know the way."

Aegon laughs. "Little Rose, you can't just walk through the Red Keep in the middle of the night and walk out through the gates. But don't worry, there are plenty of other ways out of here."

"Other ways?"

"Secret passages, they're built in order to escape safely in the event of an attack."

You're surprised and surprised that Aegon knows these secrets. You didn't know that the place you've lived in for almost your whole life is full of secret passages.

"See you tonight," he says with an grin, and letting you sit alone in the garden, how impolently.

"My Lady. A gift from the prince." A servant handed you a beautifully carved wooden box. You don't open it because you know it's the message with the directions.

"Thank you. Have a nice day." The servant is apparently surprised that you don't send the gift back as usual, but he leaves your rooms right away.

You put the wooden box on the table and you open it, not only comes out a directions, with a secret passage that begins a corridor in front of your rooms and ends outside the Red Keep, but also clothes, men's clothing. You take them in your hand and you get a familiar smell, Aegon. He sent you his clothes, probably so you could slip out better. A strange mixture of excitement and uncertainty is rising up in you. It's stupid to sneak out. It's dangerous. It is absolutely inappropriate. But then you remember your father's behavior. You deserve to behave inappropriately! At least for one night. Then you'll be the perfect lady again, but you deserved a night of freedom. So you get dressed in the evening and get on your way through the secret passages. You follow the directions and when you get scared you might have lost the right way you step around a corner and stand in front of an old door. To your surprise, it's easy to open. The next moment you step out into the dark night, the air is cool but not uncomfortable.

"Finally." you shake together as Aegon appears next to you. He does not wear his usual, decorated dresses, but dark pants and a simple shirt, yet still of high quality and made of expensive fabrics.

"I was already afraid I was going to get lost and die in these tunnels," you answered him. Aegon laughs.

"Don't worry, little Rose, I would've been looking for you." He's whining at you."Ready?" he laughs. It's probably not half as exciting for him as it is for you. He must have spent thousands of nights in the city to celebrate and visit brothels. You hope he won't take you to a brothel. You decide to trust him. Trust is important in friendship. You nod and follow Aegon down a narrow staircase on the edge of the Keep.

The city summons in a strange way, everywhere were people on the streets, they promoted goods from stands, wine, meat, bread, sweets. Somewhere music plays, there is a theater in a small square, lights are all over the narrow streets. You could look around for hours and still not have seen everything. You've never been to Kings Landing at night and not near Flew Bottom. Aegon turns to one of the market stands and comes back in the next moment with two cups full of dark beer. Carefully you take a swallow and have to suppress a cough at the bitter taste.

"It is always like this?” you ask surprised.

"No. The smallfolk are celebrating the Night of the Smith today.”

"What?" you ask confused. The feast of the Smith would take place at the end of the week and it is not actually a feast. “The Smith is honored by practicing one day in restraint, water instead of wine, bread instead of cake.” you remember your lessons on the Seven.

Aegon takes a sip of his beer.. "It's good that I don't believe in the Seven. Restraint is not my thing. And the smallfolk celebrate differently than we do, do you really think they need a day by practicing restraint when they don't have enough money for food every second day?“

You swallow once, you know you're privileged, but you don't think about it often. Actually, never. You, outside of your maids and servants, don't come into contact with the smallfolk. "You're right." You say and you're ashamed of your stupidity.

Aegon laughs again and then touches your hand slightly. "Come little Rose, there's no reason to let the mood go down."

"I am not a little rose." you complain as you follow him down the crowded streets.It seems that none of the people had any concerns. People talk, dance, laugh and drink. And all this on the open road.

"Yes you are." Aegon laughs and drinks his cup empty. Then he noods at your cup, which is almost full. You're quick to take a couple of sips too. Aegon smiles at you, an honest smile that he rarely shows.

"Come." He's holding your hand out and you take it. Excitement creeps under your fingertips, where your skin touche his. Aegon close his hand around yours and draws you along the street. The city is noisy and full, but you feel good. When you come to a small place, you finally see where the music comes from. A group of musicians are playing on the edge of the square and the people are dancing and drinking. It is not the dance steps that you dance at court, everyone simply moves to the music as it pleases him. Children rotate quickly in a circle, couples weigh each other tightly wrapped back and forth. A few young girls are guided by men through simple steps with quick turns.

"A dance?" asks Aegon from the side. You drink your cup empty with and nord.The prince pulls you between the dancing people, his hand is on your back, while his other still holds yours. You move to the music, you weigh easily back and forth. It takes a moment, but then you find your rhythm with each other, with the music, with the people around you. A faster song is played, Aegon makes you turn around yourself several times and when you get slightly dizzy and as you stagger to the side his hand is there to supports you and draws you backt to him so that you do not lose balance. You giggle stupidly, moving to music, and when you're taken by a group of young girls and when your are laughing together in a circle, you feel freer than ever in your life. Here and now, no one expects you to dance the perfect dance steps or to be a perfect lady. Nobody knows you here and it feels good. You dance with the strange girls for a while, and then you dance with Aegon again. At some point, you move on through the streets, you drink a lot of beer and taste sweet fruits and drink a juice that strangely burns in your throat and causes you to cough.

"Little Rose, this is not the wine you drink at Red Keep, be careful." Aegon laughs, takes the cup out of your hand and drinks it for you empty. He doesn't even grimaces.

You rolled your eyes and grinned at him. “I thought we would have fun today little prince.” You say challengingly. Aegon laughs and you laugh out loud too. You don't even care that a few people are looking at you strangely. You don't think and grab Aegon's hand to pull him further down the street. You want to see everything before this evening is over.

The sun rises over the city as you approach the Red Keep again. Your hand is still in Aegon's, it feels good. Aegon leads you past the high wall to a small door, it's not the same path you took on the way outside, but you follow him without hesitation into the dark hallways behind the door. The air here is musty and when the door closes behind you it is dark all around you. You squeeze Aegon's hand a little tighter just to make sure you don't lose him. The beer and wine you drank gave your head a light cloud, but you're fine. You walk through the dark hallway.

Aegon opens a door and you come through another hallway. It's a little brighter here, light comes from small openings in the wall from above. However, the ground is muddier and after a few steps you slip. Surprised, Aegon also slips slightly to the side and your back hits the wall, but you manage to catch you. Aegon is now standing directly in front of you. This situation would scare you a few month ago, but not now. Not just because you drank a little too much, but because you really trust Aegon. He raises his hand and carefully pushes a strand of hair out of your face. His eyes move from yours to your lips and then back to your eyes.

“Did you have fun?” he asks and he is so close to you that you can feel his breath on your skin.

“Yes.” You answer honestly. "And you?"

"Yes. You are a better company than the one I have usually."

You laugh. "Thank you I take it as a compliment to be a better conversation partner than your whores."

Aegon also laughs quietly, he comes half a step closer to you. He's so close to you now that you can feel the warmth of his body. A nervous tingling form under your skin. You have to swallow, looking nervously to the side, because you can't stand his gaze. The alcohol in your blood makes it difficult for you to think, and Aegon's smell surrounding you confuses you. Aegon's hand lies on your cheek and he gently turns your head, so you have to look at him. He bends a little, then stops again. You can feel your heart thundering in your chest and the blood pulsates through your ears.

"May I kiss you?" His voice is hardly a whisper, so quietly he speaks. A hot shiver is passing through your body. You want his lips on yours, this sudden recognition makes you shake. But it's wrong. You can't want him. You shouldn't want him.

"Friends don't kiss eachother." you get out breathless. His proximity is confusing, and you almost don't notice how to prevent yourself a little, you want to yield to the desire. You want to kiss him. In the next second, reality breaks over you. That's wrong! Aegon is your friend. You're drunk. That's wrong. "We can't." you say in a firm voice, you are surprised by yourself, but you turn your head a little to the side and push him a bit away from you. He allows it, steps a step back, but he does not stumble.

"Come. I'll bring you back, you have to go to your rooms before anyone notices you've disappeared."

Confused, you stand at the wall for a moment, hot shame rises in you. This moment was absolutely inappropriate, even though nothing happened. You take a deep breath and you realize that Aegon is already gone. You're afraid he left you here in the secret hallway, but you can hear his voice just a few steps away from you.

“Y/N?”

"Yes," you answer him, your voice sounds strange in your ears. Aegon holds his hand back for you, and you take it. He leads you through the dark hallways until you come out again in the hallway near your rooms. Just a corner and you'll be safe back in your rooms without being caught. You're a little proud of yourself that you actually succeeded in slipping out of the Red Keep. You're turning around the corner and froze. Your father is standing in front of your door, he must have been about to knock. Gods, why is he here so early? Your father turns around when he hears footsteps and when he recognizes you, still in men's clothes, with messy hair, his eyes darken.

"Y/N!" his voice trembles of anger and your heart is shaking. Damn it, you're in a lot of trouble now. Your father comes to you and you know that if he comes a little closer, he'll smell the alcohol in your breath. "Where do you come from? And what do you look like?"

"Father I can..." you start, but you are interrupted by Aegon, who suddenly appears behind you and places his hand on your back as he stands very close to you. God, what's he doing?

"Lord Tyrell," he says, and he sounds much more drunk than he did a few minutes ago. "It's nice to see you. Don't worry about Lady Y/N. I just wanted to escort your beautiful daughter safely to her rooms."

"My prince." your father sounds insecure. You've never heard his voice like that before. Aegon puts slight pressure on your back so you move and go to your cambers.

"My Lady Tyrell. I wish you a pleasant morning," he says, kissing your hand and winks to you. On his lips lies the smile of a little boy who had successfully stolen chocolate from the kitchen.

"My Prince." You curtsy and go to your room. You breathe deeply and exhale. Even though you've been awake all night, you feel euphoric rather than tired. You wait another 10 minutes for your father to come after you and preach to you, but he doesn´t come. So you call your maid and let you take a bath. You try to review what happened all night, but your thoughts are always hanging at that moment in the dark secret passage. A few more inches and you'd have kissed. You can feel your cheeks getting red again. Gods. What are you doing? Aegon is your friend! He's your best friend's husband! And you almost kissed him. You have to make a distance between you two. Not emotionally, no, but physically. This must never happen again.

Your father come to your rooms in the afternoon. "Sit down, my child." He says you're swallowing and falling on the chair. Nervously, you start playing with your sleeves. Now the sermon would come. "I'm proud of you."

Your gaze hurries up at his words and you know that your confusion is written in your face. You expected everything from screaming, or threats, to an instruction to go back to Highgarden, but not that. "Pardon me?“

"I'm proud of you. You wrapped both princes around your finger. Very well done.“ You are sure you don't. You want to answer your father, but he just keeps talking. "But you have to concentrate on one, my child. There's been talk. When it comes to marriage, your virtue must be exalted above any doubt. Prince Aegon is already married, so please concentrate on Prince Aemond. You'll be a princess, that's better than a prince's mistress. Isn't that wonderful?"

What? What wedding? What's he talking about? None of this is wonderful. "But Father I don´t want Aemond... I… I don´t want to marry the prince."

Your father looks angry at you now. "What are you talking about? You will be a princess."

"I don't want to be a princess," you insist.

"Don't talk nonsense. Your marriage to Aemond will give our family a lot of influence. That's a good thing. Do what I tell you, my child." he kisses your hair and then leaves your rooms without a word. Confused, you stay sitting and staring at the closed door. That was a joke, wasn't it? You don't really understand what this conversation was supposed to be about. You leave your rooms to go for a little walk to get your head free. You know you don't want to marry Aemond. But your father expects that from you. But can you really live a life with a man you don't love and do not want to marry just to make your father happy? No. But what are you supposed to do? Can you do anything at all?

You are ripped out of your mind when you hear your name. You turn around, Aegon comes to you. Immediately shame rises up in you, but Aegon has a smile on his face. "And was your father with you?" When he arrives by you, he holds his arm out for you. You hesitate a second but then take his arm. Aegon turns you in the opposite direction, so you go towards the gardens. Forgotten is your intention to not come close to him physically anymore.

"Yes, I thought he would get angry, but he wasn't. He says he's proud of me because I wrapped two princes around my finger." When you repeat your father's words, you feel bad. Aegon starts to laugh quietly and shakes his head. You actually thought he was gonna get angry.

"What else did he say?“ he asks and acts like a curious boy.

"That I should concentrate on Aemond, because it is better to be a princess than a prince's mistress."

This time Aegon laughs loudly. "Why? Isn't it enough for him that I like you and put a little prince bastard in your belly? I am insulted." There was this direct kind again that made you so angry not so long ago, but now you have to laugh.

"That's not funny at all," you say anyway. "What does he think I'm doing all day? I didn't wrap anyone around the finger. Not you, and not Aemond. Why isn't he angry? He even supports that. What does he imagine?“ the words just come out of your mouth. Aegon stops, so you have too. And suddenly you realize that your father told you the first time he was proud of you. Because he thinks you've seduced two men.

Tears rise in your eyes at this thought. Aegon looks confused about your sudden change of mood. He gently raises his hand, but before it touches your cheek, he stops.

"Can I?“he asks quietly and you nod. He wipes a hair out of your face and then leaves his hand on your cheek. "He wants to make you a princess. He wants power and influence and that's what he wants through you.“

You're swallowing. "Why?" you ask, and it sounds desperate and sad. A strange mixture of anger, sadness and confusion rises up inside you and you don't know how to deal with all of that. You don't know what to do. Listen to your father? Seduce Aemond and become a princess? But you don't want that! You don't want that in any case!

"Because it's always so," replies Aegon. His voice sounds emotionless, as if he were quoting facts from a book. "Who do you think brought my mother into my father's bed? Otto Hightower, her father."

"Are all fathers like that?"

"I don't know, my father barely speaks more than three sentences a week with me. If at all. Or he's yelling at me." Aegon shakes his shoulders, hatred flashes in his eyes, but the short glimmer disappears immediately when he looks at you. You sighs when you realize what kind of place you're actually living in. This place was full of liars, and men all pursuing their own goals. They all want more wealth and power and influence on the king.

"I don't want to be a princess." you say quietly. You don't want anything like that. You don't want to be Aemond's wife, you do not want to live in the Reed Keep. You don't want to be a figure in your father's game of more power. You just want your peace. You want to sit in the sun, eat cakes and listen to Helaena talking about beetles.

"You don't have to," said Aegon with compassion.

"But my father. I can hardly tell him that I will do nothing."

"Then don't tell him." Aegon shrugged his shoulders. "Lie to him, I always do this with my mother.“

"You know she knows you're lying to her?“

"Of course."

"It hurts her."

"I know. But no matter what I do or not do, she is disappointed in me anyway.”

"That's not true." you're trying to get him up, but Aegon just shakes his head.

"Let us stay with you and your father." you turn your eyes at his words, but he keeps talking. "As I see it, you have two options. First, you stick to Aemond and get him to marry you. I'm honest, if you asked him, he'd choose you. He would be a good husband to you, would do his duty." with his words, everything in you is drawn together. You don't want to associate your marriage with the words duty, even if it's a hypothetical marriage to the prince."Or option two, you give a fuck about what your father says to you and just have fun in your life and lie to him. So what are you going to do little Rose?”

"He could send me away." the thought of leaving Helaena alone makes you ill.

"Helaena would never allow that." You have to laugh a little about the confident in his voice. Your reality is so different, even though you live in the same place.

“She would not be able to do anything if my father decides I have to leave.”

"She's a princess, she can order you to stay."

"The king would have to agree, she is just a princess."

Aegon becomes aware of the scope of your words. "Then I insist that you stay. I am a prince, your father can do nothing against me."

His words make you smile. "So which option do you choose, one or two?“ asks Aegon now again in a better mood.

"Two," you answer, and you feel like you're doing something forbidden, even if you are only thinking about lying to your father. Aegon laughs at your words like a boy whom sweets are allowed.

"Very well, little Rose, let's have fun."

"I know your definition of fun, but I don't think I have that much pleasure in wine, whores and gambling." you answer as a joke, but Aegon's gaze is darkened.

"Do you really think that's the only things that interests me?“

"No!" you say quickly, even if you are not sure what his interests are. You know he likes history, even though he hates reading books. You know he loves his dragon. You know his favorite Wine is a red one from Dorne. He has a preference for long nights and likes to dance, even if he doesn´t do it often. "I'm sorry. What do you want to do?“

"We can go to Sunfyre," he suggests.

"No." you say quickly, you would prefer bordels and wine.

"You've lived here for years and you're still afraid of dragons."

"They are monsters."

"Sunfyre is not a monster."

"Sunfyre may not, but dragons. They are dangerous, unpredictable, wild and uncontrollable.” on Aegon's face appears a smile and his eyes flash short, then he bites himself on the lip. You're putting your head wrong. "What?“

"Nothing."

You're pulling your eyebrows together. "Tell me what you think."

Now the prince laughs and shakes his head. “No way. You're a lady." You look at him confused.

"What?“

"Come little Rose. A walk by the water will do us good, it's almost fun." he then says and nods towards the walls that separate the Red Keep from the sea. He holds his arm back and you take it without hesitation. You don't talk about the moment in the hallway. But that's okay for you. You even prefere it like this, so you don´t die out of embarrasment.

When you fall into bed early in the evening completely exhausted you breathe out relieved, you were not awake for so long. You close your eyes and you fall asleep in almost the same second. That night you dream of Aegon. You dream that you gave him this kiss. You let him kiss you and let him go further than an unmarried lady should allow.

You're sitting in Helaena's rooms, you've removed the curtains, it's raining all day and dark clouds are drawing over the sky. The fire burns in the fireplace and releases a pleasant heat. You read to Helaena in a quiet voice. A book about folklore from the north, there are stories about the others, Direwolves, Mammots, Giants and other magical animals that no longer exist.

"I have to go to Dreamfyre." Helaena interrupts you so suddenly at an exciting place that you flinch. You look up and only now notice that your friend probably hasn't listened to you in a long time.

“Now?” you ask surprised. "Why?" it rains in streams outside and you sit here in the warm and dry cambers, why leaving?

"I have to," she answers you, even if that doesn't answer your question at all. "Please Y/N, come with me." Of course you go with her.Does it have anything to do with the bond between dragon and rider? A short time later you sit in a carriage, on your way to the Dragonpit. The rain rushes to the roof of the wagon, the drumming of the drops makes you nervous, and Helaena's sudden restlessness doesn't help either. She grabs your hand for a moment, but then immediately releases it and looks out the window of the cart.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes. I have to go to Dreamfyre.”

"We're there in a minute."

Your journey don´t take long, and you and Helaena quickly run to the entrance, so that you do not get completely wet. When the heavy door falls behind you, you take a deep breath. You winkel your nose at the stink. Helaena turns directly to the dragonkeeper, the two turning to the center, where a ramp leads down. But you keep standing still on the wall, being in the Dragonpit is actually a lot too close to the dragons. Why couldn't you stay at the Red Keep? Helaena and the dragonkeeper disappear from your search field and you remain alone in the big hall.

A hiss catches your attention and at the next moment Sunfyre comes through one of the entrances into the Dragonpit, where are the Dragonkeeper? Why can he run around freely?

“What are you doing here?” you flinch when you hear Aegon's voice. He slips from his saddle and lands next to Sunfire's leg. He wears black leather with the inserted signet of his house. He's already taken off his gloves and he's completely wet. Individual drops of rain fall from his blonde hair. Sunfyre turns from Aegon to you and comes a few steps toward you, black smoke threads coming from his nostrils.You shy away from the golden monster. "You don't have to be afraid." You look at him in disbelief. Aegon strokes the dragon's neck.

"Come here."

“No.”

Aegon rolls his eyes, but he smiles. “Don’t worry little Rose.” You want to tell him that you're not Little Rose, but the way you're standing against the wall, scared, you don't believe yourself. Pride takes hold of you and you slowly take a few steps closer until you stand next to Aegon and Sunfyre. "Can I take your hand?" you nod. Aegon takes your hand. His skin is cold from the rain outside, but you still feel like a warm shiver is running down your arm. Aegon places your hand carefully on Sunfyre's neck. The dragon's skin feels different than you thought. You thought the scales were cold and hard, but the dragon radiates incredible heat. “See not dangerous.” Aegon is so close to you that his breath tickles your ear and you get goosebumps on the back of your neck. Your hand carefully strokes the dragon's neck. Sunfyrer holds still, but his eyes watch you carefully.

“I always thought dragons didn’t like strangers.” you say quietly and lower your hand, but Aegon doesn’t let go.

“It depends on the dragon. They are like us, have preferences, hate things, like certain hunting areas. And you’re not a stranger.” You turn slightly to look at him questioningly, you were never as close to the dragon as you are now. “I told him about you.”

You’re just speechless for a moment. “Why?” your voice doesn’t sound like your voice at all, it sounds thin.

“I tell him everything that happens in my life.” Aegon answers you and then he smiles at his dragon. He looks at least 2 years younger than he is. "He is my best friend. For a while he was my only friend." Aegon strokes the dragon's neck lovingly, then he turns completely to you, his one hand is still in yours and he plays with your fingers.

“I’m glad we’re friends.” You just stare at him speechless for a moment. Yes, Aegon had insisted on your friendship. He practically begged you to be his friend, but hearing that from him still somehow surprises you. And it makes you happy in a strange way.

“I’m glad too that we are friends.” you answer him and you mean it. Yes Aegon is your friend. Even a good friend, oddly enough. Your gaze goes from his eyes to his lips and back to his eyes again. How would his lips feel on yours? You take a step back to put distance between you and Aegon. This man is your best friend's husband! And your friend. But Aegon takes another step towards you, his hand finds yours again and your fingers intertwine almost automatically. It's a strange feeling, but also somehow nice.

“Y/N…” he starts but a loud roar from the dragon pit makes you both flinch. Aegon narrows his eyes. "Dreamfyre."

“What?” How does he know? It could have been any of the dragons down there. The princess's children had, of course, brought their dragons with them from Dragonstone. Syrax and Caraxes are also down there.

“Wait here.” Aegon turns away and runs towards the dragon pit, worry sparkling in his eyes.

“No Aegon! Wait." but he's already gone and you're standing next to Sunfyre, unsure, confused and frustrated with yourself and him.

The dragon seems to be watching you. “You’re not eating me, are you?” you then ask and almost laughed at yourself. Dragons only understand high Valyrian. Or? Do they even understand it or are they just reacting to it? Is it magic? You don't know enough about dragons to answer these questions. Can anyone actually answer these questions? Sunfyre turns his head in the direction Aegon disappeared, but he remains standing next to you. You think for a moment and then raise your hand again to stroke his golden scales. His eyes flicker to you briefly, but he makes no move to eat you and remains motionless. You don't know how long you wait, but at some point you hear footsteps and the next moment Aegon comes back upstairs with Helaena at his side. Your best friend is crying and her dress is dirty and a little smeared with blood. Cold fear runs down your spine, you run towards the two.

“What happened?” you ask breathlessly and let your gaze roam over Helaena, but apart from a scraped arm she doesn’t seem to be injured.

"Arrax." Aegon's voice drips with anger. You don't know whose dragon Arrax is, but Aegon seems to know. You take Helaena carefully in your arm, she's trembling.

"I'm fine," she says, trying to give you a brave smile. "The baby too." The way back to the Red Keep is quiet, Aegon sits next to Helaena and looks at her all the time worried, even though she assures him that she's fine.

"I will kill this bastard and his fucking dragon." You know everything you're saying right now won't do anything to calm him down, so you shut up and keep holding Helaena's hand. When you arrive in the castle yard, Aegon jumps out of the wagon and rushes inside. You help Helaena out, and you go inside together. The door closes behind you, and Aemond comes to you.

"What happened? Aegon seems..." he stinks when he sees his sister. His gaze goes over her and there is pure concern in his eyes. "angry." he then ends his sentence. "Sister, are you all right? What happened?“

"Arrax has come too close to Dreamfyre," she replies. "She was worried about me. I fell."

Aemond pulls his eyebrows together. "Go to the Master," he says.

"Y/N, please bring her."

"Of course." you say and drag Helaena in the direction of the master's rooms. But you don't get there, Sir Criston Cole, the queen's sworn sword, gets you two passes in advance.

"Princess, Lady Y/N the King demands your presence in the Throne room."

"She has to see the master first." you contradict without thinking, and only then you notice that you have contradicted a direct order of the king, and fear shrinks in your stomach. Sir Cole's face turns a little, and he's nibbling. Nevertheless, he says,

"The king says immediately.“ you can hear from his voice that he doesn't like this order, but he's part of the Kings Guard. He has to do what the king asks.

"All right." Helaena says and so you are on your way to the Throne room. When the double doors open, they release a strange scene. Aegon, Aemond and the queen on one side, the princess, her uncle-husband, and two of her sons and the king on the other side. Aegon curses and screams, the hand that his mother puts on his arm he roughly pushes away. Lucerys has a blue eye and blood sticking to his lip.

"That doesn't explain why my son is being attacked." Rhaenyra brushs over Aegon's curse. "I demand an explanation and a punishment!" The king looks at his two children, first his heiress, then his firstborn son.

No one is watching you as you and Helaena walk through the room and stand beside Aemond. Helaena holds your hand tightly in hers and you notice her hands trembling. So you rub your thumb over the back of her palms to calm her down. The Queen walks at Helaena's other side and takes her other hand, giving you a grateful smile.

"Arrax attacked Helaena," Aegon insists.

"That's not true! He would nerver do that." answers Lucerys. "Surely Dreamfyre attacked him and he just wanted to defend himself."

"Dreamfyre was chained! Why not Arrax?“ Aemond asks.

"On the Dragonstone they are also free."

"Than go back to Dragonstone, Bas…."

"Aegon," cries the Queen. He looks briefly at his mother, then walks his gaze over his nephew and back to Helaena who is still standing in her dirty dress and blood-smelted arm. His gaze remains at the curvature of her stomach, again flashes pure hate in his eyes.

"Bastard." he spit the word into Lucery's face. Jacaerys comes a few steps toward you, his hand to his fist. Helaena and you unconsciously retreat from his aggression, Ameond next to you also takes a step forward and stands between Jacerys and the Queen. There's tension in the room, and you know, if one of the princes is taking a wrong step now, there's gonna be a fight, or worse. Gods be good, let them all calm down.

"Enough!" shouts the king, Helaena squeezes slightly beside you and presses your hand stronger. Aemond mirrors his nephew with a murderous look in the eye. Lucerys was the one who cut off his eye in that terrible night on Driftmark. There were no consequences then, and you're almost sure there won't be any today. "Aegon! I should have your tongue cut out for that, you know the law." Aegon turns his eyes at his father's words, you know exactly what he thinks, "Try it old man." The King ignores Aegons despite and simply continues to speak. “I don't want any quarrels! Not on my name day! How many times should I tell you all that you should get along? What else should I do?“

You are confused and angry at him, does he not know that you cant demand such things?

"You're not doing anything!" Aegon exclaims to his father. The King raises his hand and strikes him in the face. But he is old and sick, the blow may not have really hurt, yet it was humiliating. The Queen gasps next to you.

"I said enough!“

"Father! You let him get away with such an insult, such a lie?“ says Rhaenyra. She doesn't pay any attention to Aegon and his siblings, but only looks at her father.

You look at her unbelievingly. What's going on here? Helaena was attacked and now Aegon is the one how gets to be punished? The King shakes his head, his gaze is deeply sad and at this moment he seems incomprehensibly old and sick, so you wonder why he can still stand on his own.

"Aegon, you will apologize."

The blonde prince laughs cheerlessly.

"I'm gonna do a shit." “That’s not enough,” Aegon and Rhaenyra say at the same time. Aegon looks at his older sister, Rhaenyra looks at him, her look is ice-cold just like his. For a moment, brother and sister sparkled in anger. Then Aegon breaks eye contact, turns back and escapes from the throne room,. Rhaenyra opens her mouth to say something, but the Queen interferes now.

"We should forget the matter," she says in a firm voice.

"Yes." Viserys agrees. “I don’t want to hear about it anymore. Into your cambers all of you!" his voice does not tolerate contradiction.

Helaena moves her weight back and forth next to you, she is dissatisfied with this result. You are too. Even if you didn't expect anything else. Rhaenyra makes a dissatisfied sound, but her husband puts one hand on her shoulder and with the other hand scolds the children out of the room.

Aemond looks at his mother, who nods and releases Helaena's hand, then takes her face into her hands and kisses her forehead. "Please go to the Master my child, I will come to you soon."

"Yes, Mother." says Helaena, you follow her from the throne room, a few steps behind you. The door closes behind you and a few tears flow from Helaena's eyes. You grap her hand quickly. You want to say something, but Aemond stands next to you and puts his hand on his sister's arm.

"Y/N," he says and looks at you. "Please follow Aegon. I will bring Helaena to the master."

"Wouldn't it be better if you talk to him?" you want to stay with Helaena, you want to make sure she's okay.

"No. Believe me, Y/N, it's better if you do that. When I speak to him, the Strong brothers will be found in their beds tomorrow with their throats cut open.” his voice is cold, and you've got a shock over your back. That wasn't a joke. You squeeze Helaena's hand, let go of her, and then follow Aegon. He has take the way to his cambers, and you hear the door slaming two corridors ahead, so loudly he beats it into the fishing. You encounter two maidens who quickly escape from the prince's rooms, presumably he screamed at them and sent them away. Without knocking, you just open your door and step in, quietly close it behind you.

"I told you to go." Aegon revolves furiously around, his eyes shine dangerously and his whole body trembles, but when he sees you, he relaxes his shoulders. He close his eyes and take a few breaths. He doesn't move for a second, then he turns away from you and throws his cup of wine against the nearest wall. You're scared, but Aegon is not done yet. His next target are the chairs, the wood crushed as he blows it against the table with full vigour, splinters flying and the candlestick, as well as a vase of flowers that were placed on the table, falling to the ground creeping. The scraps spread and the water mess up the tail of your dress, but that doesn't really matter to you.

"Aegon." you start, but he doesn't hear you. He's too caught up in his anger. It is only after he has destroyed half his facility that he seems to calm down a little bit. His breath goes fast as his eyes restlessly wander through the room, like he was looking for something. His body is still trembling with anger. Then his gaze find yours. For a second it seems like time is stopping, you don't even dare to breathe. Then a sop comes out of Aegon's throat, tears run over his face, and he falls to his knees. With quick steps you are near him, sink next to him on the cold stone floor and pull him into a tight hug. He clings to you and starts crying in your neck. You rock him back and forth, like a child, as you try to calm him down. Silently you sing a melody, the song of the knights of the roses.

"I hate him. I wish he was dead." He wishspers quietly in your shoulder. You know he's talking about the King. You can understand him. Even if it's actually high treason what he says. You stroke over his shoulders to calm him down. “My brother lost his eye, he didn’t care. My pregnant sister was attacked and wounded by this dragon worm, he didn't care. Where is the border? When did he start to care? Does one of us have to die first?“ you have no answer to his questions, there is no answer. His eyes are filled with tears, but his eyes stick to your face. You can feel tears accumulating in your eyes.

"I'm so sorry," you say and you mean it. No one deserved such treatment and it's even worse because this treatment comes from his father. You reinforce your grip around his shoulders, push him closer to you. You want to show him that he's not as lonely as he feels right now. At some point his tears dry on his cheeks, he collapse in your arms. Your knees hurt because you're sitting on the cold stone floor and your back hurts slightly, yet you don't move a bit and just hold Aegon in your arm. "You should sleep." you say in silence. He nods at your neck, slowly he rises up. His eyes are bloodshot, he's pale and his gaze is matte. Nevertheless, he helps you on your feet, his hand doesn't let go of yours and he starts playing with your fingertips.

"Will you stay with me?“ he speaks so quietly that you are sure you just imagined his question, but he looks at you uncertain. Your heart almost tears at the sight, and before you can even think, you nod. You go to his big bed, Aegon falls on the soft mattress and just pulls you with him. You end up next to him and of course his bed is a thousand times softer than yours and a hundred times more comfortable than Helaenas. The sheets smell like him, everything here smells like him. You slide under the blanket and slide a little back and forth until you lie comfortably, you don't care if you ruin your dress, it's messed up anyway. Aegon is lying next to you, so close that your fingertips can touch each other, he's rubbing his finger over yours. Seven hells, what are you doing here? You lie in the prince's bed. With the prince. With your friend Aegon. You close your eyes. The gods would curse you, but for what are the gods good at all when they are so unjust? So you decide you don't care tonight. You slide closer to Aegon, lift your arm and lay it around him, start to gently fondle his neck and comb through the short hair. He makes a sound that lies somewhere between whimpering and sighing.

"Is this okay for you?“ you ask quietly and feel him noding.

"Yes. More than okay. Please don't stop," he whispered. A smile play around your lips and you sink deeper into the soft pillows, not stopping fondle his neck and hair. His breath is starting to calm down, his shoulders are relaxing and his hand is laying under the blanket on your hips. He holds you tight even if you're not planning on going anywhere.

"Sleep well, Aegon." you say in the dark after a few moments, you're not even sure if he's still awake.

"Sleep well, my little rose."

taglist: @arabellachant

#aegon ii targaryen #Aegon II #aegon x reader #aegon ii x reader #aegon ii fanfic #hotd fanfic #house of the dragon #hotd #aemond targaryen #heleana targaryen #helaena targaryen #house targaryen #aegon ii x you #aegon ii x y/n #dragons and roses #part 2

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