I know Im too young to be bitter about missed chances and stuff but it is my right and boy am I exercising it

No hardcore fandom has ever died so quickly and so completely as Veronica Mars. This is the story of its murder.

They should study Veronica Mars in Hollywood. I'm serious. It's an incredible story of how to go from "loud, passionate fanbase with its own fandom name that campaigns and advocates constantly for it" to "absolutely zero fucking interest" damn near OVERNIGHT with just ONE epically terri-bad decision.

If you weren't there, you don't understand: From 2007 to 2014, the fandom — the "Marshmallows," as they called themselves — were everywhere in the Internet's geek spaces, my friends. They routinely beat the drum about the series' three seasons and its excellence, lamented its cancellation, pushed others to give the show a try, and always - ALWAYS - proudly and loudly called for the series to be revived.

FULL DISCLOSURE/CONFESSION: I've not even watched that much Veronica Mars, frankly... ? Yeah, I'm sorry! it does seem pretty good from like the four-or-five hours I've experienced firsthand. I just never took the time to sit down with it. Regardless, I find fandoms and their dynamics — both how they operate internally and how they display to others externally — deeply fascinating. And I honestly find them easier to study from the outside than the inside. Like, if I'm IN a fandom, I'm more likely to stay in my corner and ignore places that seem negative. But being on the outside lets me just... absorb what's out there, looking into every forum without judgment. It's like studying pop-culture sociology or something? And it helps that I'm very close to some serious(-ly burnt) Marshmallows. It makes it so much easier to find and absorb the gamut of the fandom.

Besides: There is NO fandom story I've ever seen that's anything like what happened to Veronica Mars and the Marshmallows.

(Time to insert a brief explainer for the uninitiated: Veronica Mars was a TV series that aired from 2004-2007 on the now-deceased UPN network wherein Kristen Bell played the titular character, a high school girl whose single dad was a private detective in the fictional community of Neptune, California. She grew up working "unofficially" as his assistant, which meant that she herself was effectively a teenage private detective.

The three core elements of the series were: 1) Veronica investigating each week's big mystery with plenty of quips and snark, 2) Watching Veronica's various relationships develop and shift, with most of the focus given to a) her relationship to her father and b) Her romantic pursuits (which began as the Veronica/Duncan/Logan triangle before eventually becoming focused on the slow-burn, off-on Veronica/Logan love story), and 3) The gradual development of that season's "mytharc" — the overarching BIG MYSTERY that doesn't get resolved or wrapped until the season finale. So it went over the course of two seasons that took place in high school and the third, shorter season that was at the start of Veronica's collegiate career.)

Just how big and how passionate were the Marshmallows? WELL! When series creator Rob Thomas (not the Matchbox 20 guy) and star Kristen Bell announced the Kickstarter campaign for the Veronica Mars movie in March 2013, it achieved its heretofore-unprecedented goal of TWO MILLION GODDAMN DOLLARS within less than 12 hours. At that time, it was the biggest Kickstarter goal to ever succeed — and certainly the fastest to reach that kind of height. Fans fell OVER themselves to pay out for it. Hell, my own significant other was DEEP in the tank for VM at the time and invested enough to get multiple t-shirts as backer rewards as well as a disk copy of the movie when it eventually came home.

And AFTER the movie hit in 2014? It was thankfully beloved and embraced! The once-teenage characters were adults who were actually out living on their own and working for a living, but the fandom had grown up with them, so it wasn't like they were begging for them to stay young students. They embraced Adult Veronica and her new adventure. The fandom rejoiced loudly and continued to be all over the geek side of the Internet... where they, of course, still wanted more. Sure, there were new novels in the aftermath (which were written by the creator of the series), but most of the Marshmallows were calling for more movies or a streaming revival.

And then, at long last... season four was actually announced. And there was much (premature) rejoicing yet again.

Yes, Veronica Mars returned for a fourth season on Hulu in 2019. It was just eight episodes, and it was heavily centered on one season-long mystery instead of sprinkling that amongst a bunch of smaller ones, but it would still feature the same ol' Veronica. They promised a new, more "adult" mystery/investigation plus a strong focus on Veronica and Logan's love story.

New Hulu purchased the rights to the first three seasons and hyped up its presence on the platform while marketing the return for the new run. The marketing team played up the most popular quips from the show's history plus put out TONS of stuff centered on the Logan/Veronica ship to pump up the fans.

The season was dropped all at once using the classic Netflix "binge" model in July 2019. And then... afterwards?

There was a brief explosion of LOUD RAGE from the Marshmallows at what series creator Rob Thomas had to done to burn and spite the fandom and ruin his own goodwill.

SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4: See, at the end of the movie, Veronica and Logan finally entered into a long-term relationship. In season four, they've been dating for years, and Logan proposes marriage. But of course there has to be drama/obstacles: In this case, Veronica isn't sure she's ready to marry... or capable of being in a marriage. Ah, but of course she eventually realizes how much Logan means to her. The two are married, and, in the season finale... Logan is killed by a car bomb in the penultimate scene. The final scene is a flashfoward to a year later, where Veronica leaves Neptune alone.

For most fandoms, that'd be a memorable point of pain. A big ol' speed bump that ultimately throws some people off the bus, leaving only the die-hards. But the fact that fans had been invested in this relationship for literally 15 years and that Hulu (and creator Rob Thomas) had heavily marketed the new season as being a big romantic event for the ship... it was too much. Unlike the aftermath of the Star Wars sequels, there was no lingering group of die-hard fans who were open to whatever was next — at least no significant one. I did some Googling and could only find TWO people who still wanted another season.

Funnily enough? Critics LOVED this. Hell, Vanity Fair infamously penned an editorial about how Veronica Mars had "finally grown up" with this finale. I suppose all the other murders and deaths and drug overdoses and r*pe weren't "mature" enough before now for... some... reason. (The same editorial also featured the author openly hating on Veronica ever being in a relationship because it causes "arrested development" and declaring that the movie -- which was acclaimed by both critics AND fans alike, I remind you -- was a lame dud. So. The writer must be a reeeaaaal fun person.)

But a series doesn't live based on critical acclaim, as it turns out. The fandom was murdered overnight. "Marshmallows" stopped appearing in geek spaces online entirely. No one expressed interest in seeing the next season or the next movie. The constant flow of fan AMVs on YouTube and fanfics on AO3 dried up to nothing or damn nearly so.

Since 2019 ? Nothing. Chirping crickets. An intensely dedicated fandom of 12 years was just... vaporized.

I've never seen anything like it before OR since.

That's why it's so fucking fascinating.

So what went wrong?

Creator Rob Thomas was adamant about two things: ONE, the series was intended to be a noir show, which meant there couldn't be any happiness for its protagonist. And TWO, the death of Logan was necessary to evolve and grow the series.

Thomas thought that having Veronica in a relationship would be holding her back, and that a marriage would absolutely kill the series and leave her stagnant. It never even occurred to him that marriage isn't the end of a character's life and growth. It never occurred to him that plenty of drama can be had AFTER someone is married, or that development/growth could be that the characters mature enough to be capable of maintaining a committed relationship. Thomas' view of his own universe was so myopic that he couldn't conceive of any possible way that Veronica could still be a private detective involved in life-threatening investigations AND be married at the same time. Futhermore, he felt that fans just wanted Veronica to become a pregnant housewife, which is about as far from what Marshmallows were after as you can get without straight-up killing Veronica and/or Logan. He managed to do the only thing wronger than what he wrongly thought was their insistence.

On top of the above, Rob Thomas only viewed "noir" as a vehicle for total fatalism... despite the fact that many of the most famous noir stories are cynical and full of moral ambiguity, but they still feature a positive outcome. The Big Sleep still has the protagonist get the girl. The Set-Up arguably ends with the happiest possible ending in spite of the beating the hero receives.

Perhaps most importantly? Despite Thomas own insistence that Veronica Mars was always "noir," the majority of both TV critics and fans did not think that designation ever truly applied. I suspect that's the reason why Thomas decided to go as dark and fatalistic as possible: He wanted to be noir, and he was being told that he wasn't. So he went so far into noir that he killed his own most popular property.

He was adamant that it was the only way for the series to grow. But as it turns out, it was instead the only way for the series to permanently end. Without that season four finale, a passionate group of fans would still be begging for more. With it? It's over. Nobody fucking cares now.

That's kind of amazing.

Venom

Pairings: father Miguel O’Hara x gn!teen!venom!reader, Venom x teen!reader

Imagine: what it would be like to be Miguel’s son and a spider-man along with venom, spider-venom? Idk guys

Warnings: mention of death, mention of parent death, mention of injuries, father Miguel O’Hara, idk what else, not proofread

A/N keep in mind the first part of this is before Gabriella died. Second I am aware that Miguel has a son somewhere out there in the comics, third don’t mind me referencing Moon Knight in some parts, lastly this is actually based on one of my ocs, but I made this fic x reader instead :)

Side note: I did imagine reader to be male (like my oc is) but I made it gn!reader so that everyone can read it

You lived on earth-TRN1042 (is that the name, it was when I searched it up, might be wrong tho), with you father Miguel O’Hara and your sister Gabriella O’Hara

Your canon event as tragic as it is was to watch as your father died — which would eventually lead you to become Spider-Man

You’d been bitten a few days prior and was still adjusting to the whole power thing

But we are getting ahead of ourselves, Here’s the thing Miguel (earth-928) lost his family on his earth and when he found out a way to go into other earths he found your earth. The one where he still had a happy family

His original plan was to just watch from afar, but when your father died, Miguel made the rash decision to take your fathers place, which didn’t go as smoothly as he thought, after all you had watched your father die

At first you thought you were going crazy when you first saw Miguel, apparently he’d been with your sister all day. You didn’t trust him one but, you knew for a fact your father was dead so when you saw him playing with Gabriella and her dolls you were in shock, you’d told Gabriella to go to her room, once she did the interrogation started, you’d felt your father take his last breath so you sure as hell would find out who this imposter was.

“Who are you?”

“I’m your father”

“No, no, no, no, I watched my father die, who are you?”

Miguel knew you wouldn’t stop your interrogation until you knew what was going on, this led to him giving you a long explanation about different earths, his family and everything in between, how he got his powers and literally his whole life story, only to ensure that you would let him stay, he wouldn’t stay against your wishes

You let him stay, not only because you knew what loss felt like, but you hadn’t told Gabriella yet and you didn’t know how you could tell her that her actual father was dead, and it would prove to be good to have an adult raise your little sister with you, so you let Miguel stay, eventually you saw him as your father too, Gabrielle being none the wiser when it came to her fathers true identity.

The first time you called Miguel “dad” or something alike, he was overjoyed

Miguel didn’t really enjoy you going out to beat bad guys up but he never told you not to, he knew why you did it so he never stopped you, and he used to do it so it would be kinda hypocritical of him to force you to stop, instead he’d be at home, and every time you snuck in through your window you could find Miguel in the living room ready to patch you up, telling you of every time for being reckless and getting hurt so many times

Don’t be offended when he calls you an “reckless idiot” (he’d probably say it in Spanish though) when you get home nearly half dead (Miguel might of overreacted a bit)

It was around this time when you started to get memory gaps from time to time, some fights you didn’t even remember how you defeated the enemy, and some days you woke up in an alleyway, (kinda like Steven in episode one of moon knight)

Before it all went to shit I’d like to think that Miguel gave up on the spider-man part of him and was just a single dad with his two kids working a boring job — not at Alcehmax, he won’t do that mistake again

You all lived rather peacefully for the most part, you’d help Gabriella get better at football/soccer, going to an ice cream shop every time after one of Gabriella’s matches, loss or win didn’t matter there was always ice cream after a match.

And then in a single day it all got taken away from you, in just a couple of minutes all you had ever known was gone

Your whole earth started to disappear along with the people in it, you’d been out on your daily spider-man patrols when it happened, you saw your father/Miguel running with Gabriella and so instead of trying to stop whatever was happening — or more like knowing you couldn’t stop it as you had no clue what it was — you went into the direction of your family.

And when your sister disappeared you didn’t know what to do anymore, Miguel at least able to think somewhat took your hand and soon enough you were on earth-928, and from a screen you watched as your dimension disappeared into nothingness

This left many questions and problems but the question you were mostly focused on was the fact that you hadn’t disappeared

Turns out the spider that bit you had bonded (idk if this works but it does now) with a symbiote — Venom — who was from another earth, and when the spider bit you, you’d not only gained spider-powers but Venom transferred over to you and the two of you bonded, this changed your DNA and caused you to be able to coexist on your own earth along with the earth that Venom was from (does this make sense ain’t got a single clue)

Turns out Venom hadn’t made an appearance (to your knowledge and Miguel’s) because he protected you whenever you couldn’t yourself, and all those memory gaps that you had was the times that Venom had taken over (you know kinda like Jake with Steven and Marc in Moon Knight)

Fast forward a bit and you’d joined the spider-society

You had learned to coexist with Venom, it took some time but it worked out in the end, at first people would think you were crazy as you yelled at nothing (except for you you were talking to Venom who was speaking inside your mind), a lot of spider-people stayed away from you not wanting to be near Venom as he is supposed to be a villain, but when they realized you were one of the good guys they stopped avoiding you and Venom

Venom would deny it to his grave but he is extremely protective over you, if anyone hurt you he wouldn’t hesitate to hurt/kill/eat them

Miguel also became way more protective, after he lost Gabriella he only had you left and he would only send you out on the easy missions — that is until you snuck out on one of their worsts missions and got hurt because no one else new you were there — cue Miguel letting you go on dangerous missions so that you wouldn’t sneak out again and possibly die, at leas if he knew where you were he could make sure you didn’t die.

Not only did Miguel become more grumpy and strict with all the rules, you also become a lot more grumpy as you grieved your sister, and friends

And then all the shit with Miles happened but that’s for part 2,3 (part 2 siding with Miles, part 3 siding with Miguel idk which will come out first)

12am incoherent Spider rant incoming:

The fact that a huge portion of Spider fans sympathise with him because they had similar family experiences in life is low-key making me feel kinda weird about people who hate him. Like let us recap the events real quick-

Like why do you hate a kid who did more to keep the Na’vi safe than Jake through the entire movie? “They’re after us” ok? This is not just about you dumbass it’s a whole-ass war, the RDA will still want to find the rest of your tribe because they want to ERADICATE your people 😐 the fact that it took him MONTHS to realise that running will not save anyone is 😬 (though I can get behind it bc family and all)

How is it that a goddamn 16 year old was the one who carried the good guy team??? 😐😐😐 he saved tribes from getting murdered, like literally, Tonowari said that no one had died, WONDER WHY???? DO Y’ALL THINK QUARITCH WAS NICE OUTTA NOWHERE???

And then he sunk a ship. HE SUNK A SHIP BY HIMSELF????

AND THEN HE INDIRECTLY SAVED KIRIS AND JAKE’S LIFE????

“He backstabbed them” I know you’re not blaming him for it when Neytiri exists 🧍 bestie outright REFUSED to help a literal child and didn’t bat an eye when he got captured. I can get behind her putting a knife to his throat in a rush of emotion but to very clearly ABANDON him? Fuck off. If her active decision to leave him behind didn’t turn into the reef Na’vi’s literal saving grace I’d be hating on her so actively.

“He saved his homocidal dad after he promised to murder his family” first of all the Sullys NEVER adopted him and it’s made abundantly clear. You sound like a gaslighter when you use that rhetoric. 😐📸

And secondly — HELL YEAH HE DID???? I would too if I was him and so would you and so would we all because Miles is the first grown up who GAVE A SHIT. MILES GENUINELY CARED. “It’s morally wrong” NO CAP 😀😀😀 NO ONE SAYS IT WAS RIGHT BUT THE KID HAD A SPLIT SECOND TO MAKE A DECISION AND HE CHOSE NOT TO BE A MURDERER.

You know what else is morally wrong tbw? Neglecting a child for 16 years.

“B-but they had no obligation to take care of a human kid—” cry me a fucking river 😐 what they want or not doesn’t fucking matter when we are talking about the mental health of an actual living breathing being. They ALL (the scientists, the Sullys and even the mf McKoskers or whatever the hell their last name is) were morally obligated to give that kid the best they could to ensure that he wouldn’t turn out like his father BECAUSE THEY’RE ADULTS.

The fact that their collective neglect DIDN’T blow up in their face is a pure miracle. Thant kid had every right to turn evil and burn the village that rejected him to feel it’s warmth but he DID NOT. In fact he is so goddamn kind and compassionate that he sees good even in a piece of shit monster like Quaritch.

It’s mind-blowing when we consider the lack of parental love and guidance throughout his life.

☝️ THIS is the kid you’re hating on???? Bc it’s starting to look suspiciously toxic 👀💅

Pay my boy some respect. He was a literal hero and y’all act like the Omatekaya, ignoring whatever good he might do and then point fingers at him when he does something morally questionable LIKE ITS NOT JAKES FAULT??? LIKE THE REST OF THE ADULTS ARE NOT AT FAULT TOO??

Neglect makes people vulnerable. Vulnerable enough for an asshole to swoop in and manipulate them and it is only thanks to Spider’s unyielding loyalty and heart that neither Ardmore, nor Miles had pulled anything out of him in MONTHS of captivity. They had NO idea where Jake or Omatekaya were until Norm fucked it all up with his trackable ship.

Listen I love all the blorbos, but the parents dug their own grave so to speak. You fumble the bag repeatedly and then get surprised when it flies into your face? 🤨

Anyway, I’m out. Might delete this later idk.

Believe in me

Modern Vampire AU Melot (Tristan&Isolde) x OFC Aurora (third-person pov)

summary: Aurora desperately needs a job and her friend suggests something she wouldn't have thought of: working as a blood donor in the nightclub of the vampire king. Meeting the vampire Melot on the same day helped Aurora to make up her decision.

But things are getting complicated soon. Melot and Aurora have to deal with hateful humans, power-hungry vampires and even gods.

series warnings: 18+ Adult content! parental violence and abuse, blood and other vampire stuff, violence, sex in all kinds of forms. Probably need to add more as the series continues

chapter warnings: parental violence and abuse

word count: 1,8k

A/N: The first series I am starting on tumblr and to say that I am nervous would be an understatement. I am terrified. This is all very new to me, so please be gentle. Although every kind of interaction is highly appreciated as always. I'm taking nice words, gifs, keyboard smashes or supportive advice. Just reblog and add your thoughts to it to make me happy, please!

Part 1

Series Masterlist

Carefully, Aurora tiptoed down the stairs. She knew her father was already drunk and if he heard her, a new fight was inevitable. But she wasn’t careful enough, she didn’t even manage to get into the living room before she heard him yelling:

“Aurora, get your ass into the kitchen and make me dinner!” Aurora silently cursed and turned to the kitchen.

“Hey Dad! I was on my way to the library. I need to catch up on my classes. Would you mind some microwaved leftovers?” She didn’t dare to look at him so she just stared at her feet. 

“Yes, I do mind!” he shouted at her. “You know exactly that your mum isn’t here anymore to take care of me. And you know it’s your fault. She was driving your stupid ass to your soccer training. And yet, you stand here in front of me and your mum is gone. Two years! It’s been two years without her. And you still act like it isn’t all your fault, ungrateful bitch! You should have died, not her!”

So, it’s one of the days when he didn’t even try to hold back the hate. Aurora tried to blink the tears away that started gathering in the corner of her eyes. Without saying a word, she started to prepare a meal for her father. If she chopped some onions, maybe she could blame her tears on that.  

Her father watched her silently, but his eyes still gave away the pure hate that he felt for his daughter. He was never a loving dad like the ones Aurora knew from TV shows or commercials. He was always cold towards her, ignoring her as much as possible. Even when her mum was still alive. Back then, he didn’t make a difference in the way he treated Aurora and her sister Tara. 

But after the car accident that killed her mum and miraculously left Aurora without even a scratch, he changed. He was still ignoring Tara. But he transformed all his frustration and despair into hate and disdain towards his youngest daughter. 

After Aurora had finally finished cooking, she served a portion to her dad. He took one bite, grimaced and smashed the whole plate against the wall. "How are you not even able to be useful for something that simple as making me dinner? This tastes like shit!" he hollered. He shot up, knocking over his chair, and thrust towards Aurora. 

She took a sharp breath and held up her arms, trying to protect her face. Her dad quickly changed directions and his fists slammed hard into her rib cage. Aurora cried in pain and fled through the kitchen door. At least he was slow when he was drunk enough to beat her. 

Biting her lips to drown the pain in her chest, she grabbed her backpack, keys and shoes and ran out of the front door. She didn’t stop until she was a few blocks away. She needed to get as much distance as possible from her father. When she finally decided that she was at a safe distance, Aurora sat down on the sidewalk and brushed some gravel from her bare feet before she slipped into her sneakers. 

Sitting down was not a good idea. As she tried to get up again, the pain in her chest got so bad, Aurora couldn’t fight back new tears. So she decided to just stay there, sitting in the dirt. She didn’t have anywhere to go anyway. Slowly, she tried to calm herself, taking deep breaths and pressing her palms on her closed eyelids.

People were passing by, but Aurora didn’t care if they saw her like that. They probably didn’t even notice. But when she opened her eyes again, she was startled as there was a guy sitting right next to her. Aurora flinched with her eyes wide. 

“Oh, hey, I’m sorry! I didn’t want to scare you.” The voice of the stranger was deep and somehow soothing. “I saw you crying and was about to ask you if you needed help.”

Aurora carefully lifted her gaze to the man. He was breathtakingly handsome. His dark curls fell into his face, his sharp jawline was covered in stubble and his pale skin was flawless. And his eyes were glowing in a dark crimson.

“You… You’re a vampire!” Aurora stated the obvious. A smile swept over the face of the young man, revealing his perfectly white teeth, his fangs brushing over his lower lip.

“That I am.” he said, in a very friendly and casual way. He held out his hand. “Melot it is. I would say nice to meet you, but in the state you’re in, I think that wouldn’t be fitting.” Aurora took his hand, noticing that it was surprisingly soft and warm. But she couldn’t bring herself to say anything. So Melot kept talking: 

“Is there anything I can do for you, dear? I can’t just ignore you sitting here crying.” His hand brushed over her back to sooth her, so carefully, Aurora hardly felt it. She felt stupid, but she just couldn’t bring herself to speak. His beauty was stunning, and yet he scared Aurora all the same. She had never seen a vampire that close to her. Although they were legalized ten years ago, most of them kept living among their own kind.

“Did someone hurt you?” Melot tried again. A small sob escaped Aurora, but then she shook her head. Finally, she replied to him:

“I’m fine! Thank you for checking in on me, but there’s no need to.” Melot frowned, obviously not convinced by Aurora’s words.

“Can you call someone to pick you up? Your parents, a friend? I don’t want to leave you here like that. You’re definitely not okay.” he insisted.

Aurora thought about what he said. She couldn’t call her parents, of course. But she probably should call Tara. She could be crashing her sister’s couch until she knew if she wanted to go back to her dad or what else she could do. 

“I’ll call my sister,” she told Melot. “I’m Aurora, by the way.” She offered him a small smile that he returned with a wide one that once again revealed his fangs.

Aurora took out her phone and called Tara. Her sister wasn’t quite happy that she had to get her, but in the end she told Aurora that she would be there within the next 20 minutes. Aurora brushed her tears away with the sleeve of her shirt and blinked curiously at Melot.

“You haven’t seen one of us yet, have you?” he asked. Aurora shook her head.

“No, I don’t go out a lot and my dad is not really fond of the idea of vampires living among us, to be honest.” To Aurora’s surprise, Melot didn’t seem to be offended. He chuckled softly.

“He’s not alone with that, and I understand. It must be a scary thought for humans. But I swear we’re not creeps. At least most of us.”

Now it was on Aurora to chuckle. “That’s exactly what every creep tells you, you know?” Both laughed at that. 

Melot thought about asking once again what had happened, but he was glad that Aurora had stopped crying so he decided to leave it to that. Though, he felt strangely upset to see her like this.

Instead, they talked about lighter topics. Aurora spoke about her classes and Melot told her that he was working for his uncle.  He wasn’t exactly Melot’s uncle but it was easier to call him that, considering that they lived like a family the last 500 years.

When her sister's car stopped next to them, Aurora had almost forgotten how upset she was when she left her home. And she also had forgotten about her broken ribs. She got up and cursed immediately at the pain that shot through her body. Melot was next to her out of thin air, steadying her steps. His arm was wrapped around her waist and he took the weight of her body onto his shoulders. 

Tara didn’t even get out of the car. She just opened the passenger door. 

“What happened this time?” she asked, though she didn’t seem to be honestly interested. Aurora got angry at the heartless reaction of her sister. Even a stranger, a vampire to be precise, was more invested in her than her family. 

“He broke my ribs. After he smashed his dinner against the wall. I can’t go back to him tonight.” Her sister just rolled her eyes. 

“So you want to come home with me? Fine, canceling my date then.” She couldn’t sound any more annoyed. Melot clenched his jaw. There was this sweet girl and someone had hurt her. And not even her sister did anything to help. He decided that he would keep an eye on Aurora. 

When she was finally seated in Tara’s car, Aurora turned to Melot. “Thank you! It was really nice to meet you!” Melot chuckled, remembering his own words at the beginning of their conversation. 

“Goodbye Aurora, take good care of yourself!” He looked down at her, a soft expression on his face, despite his extraordinary red eyes.

Tara drove off before she had to witness any more of that stupid conversation. 

“What was that, so you’re dating a vampire now, or what?” She spat the words into Aurora’s face. Aurora cowered back into the seat.

“No, he just stopped and asked me if I was alright. No human did that, by the way. I don’t know him and I won’t ever see him again, I guess. So you can stop hating me for another reason.”

Melot watched the car driving off, not without remembering the driver's plate. When he turned, Charlie was standing beside him.

“Melot, what are you up to again?” He was smiling deviously. Melot shook his head. “Don’t bother, cousin. It’s nothing of your interest.” Charles raised an eyebrow but didn’t press any further.

“August wants to see you. He’s pissed, I have to warn you, though I don’t have a clue why. So good luck!”

Melot gritted his teeth in frustration. He wanted to investigate what happened to Aurora. He needed to see her again. There was a bond he felt towards her that he just couldn’t explain. He didn’t have time for the stupid intrigues of his uncle. August was the fucking vampire king, he should be able to deal with his shit on his own. Or at least, if he needed Melot’s help, he should finally acknowledge Melot’s skills and give him more recognition.

Part 2

Fuck... I'm an idiot, I think I got why so many people felt Orym's nod to Laudna over Bor'Dor so bad.

This is a long one...

See, Orym has been painted as the "good one" by the group, the moraly upstanding, let's say. "The dad friend," the fandom said. And he kinda is, compared to the rest, he has more internal rules, which tend to kindness, respect, etc., and the others clocked it (not saying the other's don't have their own morality, just that Orym seems to have more lines he will object to be crossed).

For a long time, his actions proved this side of him to the Bell's Hells, but what is more important, I think... they start relying on it! Many PCs had done that, from EXU, to C3, to even guest players, somebody said something in the lines of "I look at Orym, if Orym it's okay with it, then I'm good" (I think it was a guess star). The group relaxed over their own process of decision making because they started counting on Orym to call them out if they went too far!

The key thing is... Orym never asked for it! As a mom friend, let me tell you... it's frustrating as hell to have to "parent" people who are my age or older, I do it only because I love them, and I don't want them to die! And Orym showed us his frustration with them a long time ago!! Remember when they all were rising hands over who thought they would all try to kill each other? Remember how Orym just stand up and fucking left?! That's what you do when you are tired of trying to be the voice of reason in a group in which at least four of them are older than you and the other two are adults as well! Hell! Ashton noticed it!

Orym never asked for that position, no one ever does, you just fucking fell into it, and then you care too much for the idiots you call friends... even if you want to killed them yourself half of the time (that's me). In fact, Orym reaaaaly doesn't want to be any kind of leader, not even a "moral" one, but he keeps falling into Chaotic groups, sorry man!

Now, something else the group as a whole fails to realize in its full meaning is that Orym is a soldier in a mission. He has always been, and they know it, intellectually, but they failed to understand the implications of it. Fearne understands Orym, that's why she goes to him when she herself has doubts over Imogen, because she knows what Orym did with Dorian, so she knows Orym must be thinking some strategies just in case, and I'm not sure if she goes to him only because she is worried or also because she wants to show him her support, whatever it is... it's one of the best shows of not only that Fearne loves Orym, but that she actually understands him more than one could think. But Bell's Hells don't have the knowledge that Fearne does, they don't know how lethality serious Orym can get, how he will do things he hates because he things they must be done, they've seen glimpses, but Fearne saw it in all its cold steadfastness when Orym pulled his sword on Dorian, she knows, the rest are going to find out little by little.

So we have Orym trying, for a long time, to understand the enemy, what motivates the members of the Ruby Vanguard, trying to keep seeing them as people, not just "enemies." But he also recognized that he can not be impartial with them. We saw how he left another "should gods live or not" discussion because he is tired of it. Even if he thought (which he doesn't) that all the Gods should died he would not help the Ruby Vanguard, they will always be his enemies. He has been saying it is personal to him since his chat with Chetney. The philosophical conundrum, it's in the end, pointless to him, if he can stop the Ruby Vanguard he will, just for what they did to his people. And even with this as a known factor... he still tried to understand the members of the RV, they were people who have been hurt, even after they killed him, Fearne, and Laudna, Orym still tried to keep that openess of mind and heart.

Until Bor'Dor.

Bor'Dor attacking them after they offered him kindness and friendship, but even worse, I think... it was Bor'Dor attacking Prysm and Deni$e, who had nothing to do with Bell's Hells and their attack to the RV, just because they were there, and he wanted to hurt Ash, Laudna, and Orym. That proved to Orym once and for all that the RV were too dangerous, too cruel in the pursuit of their goals, simply put... they don't care how many innocent people they have to kill to reach their objective. At that moment, Orym went to war, at that moment he became completely the soldier he could be. At that moment, he thought, "He has to die".

And in the middle of this storm we have Laudna on her own, and she looks up, she looks at Orym, hopping he will maybe stop her, the friend that has always stop them from going too far, and she doesn't realize that what she sees is an aspect of her friend she hasn't fully met yet, and because she is used to rely on his instincts over this things... she lets herself go.

So later, when things get a bit calmer, it kinda feels like a betrayal, doesn't it? Why? Why does the friend who always stops us from doing stupid things didn't stop me?! WHY? And the answer is, because he couldn't stop himself.

He didn't betray Laudna, he fails her in the rol SHE had assigned HIM, now they will have to rework their friendship.

This moment weighs in the three of them, Ashton, too. It's obvious in the way he and Orym tell Laudna to take a moment for her. They are trying to help her now. Nothing changes what happened, though.

This is going to be interesting because it's clear that that aspect of Orym's personality, the cold soldier, is quite on the surface now. He is angry, really angry, angry enough that he might not have the strength to keep being the "dad friend", because he might be too focused on keeping himself at bay to be the person who helps the others to do that as well. Like I think he will keep trying to be there for his friends, but his own mental and emotional state makes him less reliable to what the group is used to.

Long-ass personal story/rant under the cut. Feel free to skip, I'm mostly just writing this down to get it out of my system.

So, 2024 did not start out all that great, but it was manageable. And then February hit, everything proceeds to fall apart. Yay.

February 1

My beloved uncle John died of cancer after transitioning to in-home hospice care in early December. This one is rough. I'm very close to him and his family. I was raised by a single mom, and while I was very young my uncle was her go-to when she needed someone to watch me. That, and she wanted me to have an positive relationship with an adult male family member because I couldn't get that kind of social development at home. TL;DR he was kinda my surrogate dad when I was little and we never lost that bond.

The following week was kind of a blur of tears, grieving and prepping for my uncle's wake and funeral. I volunteered to do a reading/reflection at the service. I went to work, although I definitely was not at my best. For example, I accidentally purchased $800 worth of company swag on my personal debit card. Stuff like that.

February 9

My parter and I go to his wake in the afternoon and get home around 10 pm. Sad, difficult, exhausting, but also full of love and support.

Feb 9/10

I'm not sleeping well so I'm up late watching something, when around 1 am I hear water dripping inside a wall where that does not make sense for that sound to be heard. The upstairs unit in the 3-decker condo I live in is currently unoccupied, so I go up there to discover their living room radiator has a massive leak. We turn off the heat and the radiator valves, stopping the outflow of water and get as much of the water on the floor mopped up as possible.

February 10

Wake up to a water-soaked living room ceiling. Apparently the leak went on just long enough that a lot of water got under the floorboards upstairs, despite our best efforts to soak it all up. So, now we have pretty significant water damage that is going to have to be fixed at some point - fingers crossed we just have to strip and repaint as opposed to needing to have the whole thing re-platstered.

I can't think about all that right now though, because this day is also my uncle's funeral. It's a nice service. I read one of my uncles' favorite poems and give a short reflection, which goes well. Reception followed by family gathering. It really was good to see all my extended family, and people I haven't seen since my uncle John got married. (I'm quite famous among my aunt's family from their wedding, where I notably accidentally drank champange and gave a very enthusiastic performance as a "bop bop" girl when the wedding party was recruited to pretend we were a band at the reception. I was 6 at the time, so I do look a bit different now 😂).

Feb 12/13

I wake up in the middle of the night because my partner is burning up with a fever and tossing around like a fish out of water. Yep, he got the Covid - turns out my uncle Eric (who my partner and I spent a lot of time with over the course of the wake and funeral for my uncle John) tested positive when he got home on Sunday. Honestly I have never seen my partner this sick in the 8.5 years we have known each other! Neither of us have contracted Covid before now and this shit is no joke.

I have an oral surgery on Friday so I'm crossing my fingers I don't get sick as well.

February 13

At work, my amazing employee "A" of 3.5 years lets me know her last day is going to be March 1st. She's leaving for personal reasons which are 100% legit and I know it was a hard decision for her to make. Still, I am really going to miss this girl, as will everyone she works with on our team.

And on a somewhat selfish note, this also means a lot more work for me as I fill in for her responsibilities and start the recruiting process. So that's a lot to plan for, but at the time all I felt was just....loss. And pride, because I know it took a lot for A to make this decision and prioritize herself and her family over work. I'm just sad about it. And a tad overwhelmed, but I can manage, right?

February 14

Partner is still very sick, but by the end of the day he's starting to improve. Unfortunately, my wonderful cat Killick passes away in the evening. This was not out of nowhere - he's a senior cat who was diagnosed with hyperthyrodism a few years ago, which he never quite bounced back from despite our and our vet's best efforts. The last few months he's been losing weight, but we actually thought he was doing a bit better because his activity and social time was increasing. However, in the last week he hadn't been very interested in food and was sleeping more than usual, so we scheduled a vet appointment to see what was up, but it was not to be.

I miss my kitty 😭

February 16

Alas, I could not escape the Covid 🤒. I wake up with a high fever, achy all over and sweating. So I cancel my oral surgery and spend the next 2/3 days mostly horizontal. I do have some very creative fever dreams though.

Today

I am mostly recovered from Covid. I've spent the last few days getting my life back together as during all the above events and illness my partner and I ran out of pretty much everything in the house (like groceries and toilet paper) in addition to falling behind on things like house cleaning and groceries. We've also been spending a lot of time focused on our other cat, Mia, who is adjusting to being an only cat now. She's gettting there, and so are we.

I'm still a little behind at work, but catching up as I can. Luckily, my position allows me to set my own schedule and priorities and I have never been more grateful for that kind of flexibility.

Emotionally, I'm a little all over the place. I have broken down in tears over tiny things, like me forgetting an item at the grocery store. I have times where my mood is downright awful and I'm mad at everything. I have had trouble sleeping and maintaining focus, times when I'm hyperproductive and times when I really just want to do nothing but zone the fuck out. I know it's going to take time to find my equilibrium again, and I'm doing my best to give myself the grace to do that.

Anyway, there's no real point to this story other than FUCK this stupid shit show of a month. If you made it this far, thank you for reading, and I hope your month has been better than mine!

My mother-in-law is probably a bad person. A woman doesn't just lose custody and visitation in the 1980s. Reconnecting with your adult child doesn't just utterly fall apart after a year. I am now an aunt to a child I will never meet because of this. I will never leave a child alone with her until that kid is big enough to defend him or herself.

Her ex is bad, she has said, a terrible person and she divorced him because he was a cheater and terrible person. And her estranged son is supposedly of the same stock, never mind that she desperately wants so much as a picture of the newborn's face.

Her entire not-small family will not speak to her to this day- the woman is over 60- because she "revealed to authorities" her dad assaulted children, or so my husband has been told. This, of course, did not affect him in a small town because he'd quit working by then and then married a rich woman and my MIL did not get any of the money when he died along out of all his children. All of them are addicts and worse, she has told my husband, which is why he and his brother have never met any of them. I wonder, sometimes, if the reason his dad's brother did not come to our wedding is because of her.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, assaults children according to my MIL. Any movie star or musician? Adopter of children (everyone, anyone, including people we personally know and she does not)? Politician she does not like? Famous dead people? All of them, that is her go-to. It's like the boy who cried wolf.

I know people do bad things to each other, terrible ones, but how many of those can one woman- whose last job was running a painting business, she says- meet or be connected to in one lifetime?

And of course my husband believes it all...despite last time we saw them, they had a day and a half long fight about anything and everything that resulted in my family declaring that they will be civil and no more to this woman. The woman makes up memories that make her the victim and demands all others in her vicinity play along; she has accused my mother of things I know absolutely she would not do. She will not accept the vague 'go along to get along' apology that was extended. My husband is very upset about the fact my family is beyond done with it and he gets mad at me that I can't make my family tough out this insanity.

He wants us to move closer to them (we live 30 minutes from my family) but if we did I fear the end result would be the same as almost everyone in her life: I will cut her out...and given my husband is such a momma's boy, so credulous, so always on her side for everything, possibly I will have to cut him off as well.

I fear this may happen anyway, that these ugly things are a part of him, too, and this was all my mistake. I try every communication tactic recommended, as many compromises as I feel feasible, and he just doesn't listen. I feel so lonely in it, as if God has- justly- abandoned me to my own poor decision making. We have good times, loving times, but these things are so massive that focusing on those feels like ignoring the elephant in the room.

Please pray for me. I just want to do the right thing, I don't want this to go down in misery and ruin. I hate that I feel like maybe it's for the best if we can't have children.

Day 2 of Victoria, Danni, and Jenna's birthday celebration event 🎉Oct. 21 - Danni’s @dylfnatural​ birthday - pearls // celestial cowboy cas // fabulous father figures (sam/dean/cas/bobby etc) // green dean💚

Season 12 AU where they go ahead with the grace extraction and Jack is born as just a baby who is raised by Cas and Kelly at the lake house.

(Image description below and in alt text, elaboration of AU under the cut)

ID: Digital drawing of Cas and Kelly from Supernatural. Kelly is sitting in bed, facing the camera, and holding a baby in her lap. This baby is Jack. Cas is standing beside the bed to Kelly's right. He is leaning over the bed so that his and Kelly's heads are bowed together, looking down at Jack. Cas is wearing his usual trench coat. Kelly is wearing a grey cardigan over a blue shirt. Jack is wearing a blue hat and is swaddled in warm, yellow cloth. There is a bedside lamp behind Cas' head, illuminating the scene. Both Cas and Kelly are smiling down at Jack. Cas and Jack have faint Halos. End ID.

I really like Cas and Jack's relationship in theory but when I actually got up to this part in the show I really did not like how it is actually written in canon, and a lot my issues come back to this decision, right at the beginning. In this AU when Jack and Cas kill Dagon and Cas connects with Jack, instead of coming to see them as this holy figure with a grand destiny, he just sees them as like. A person. With the same potential for goodness as anyone else, not inherently evil. On discussion with Kelly, they agree to go through with the grace extraction.

Jack is still a nephilim cuz the whole angel-grace=human equation is ridiculous imo, but they are not the same beacon of power that they are in canon. They cannot be tracked the same way and Lucifer doesn't really care about them since he can't use their power for his own ends anymore. Kelly does not die in childbirth and Jack is born as a baby not a young adult.

Cas and Kelly raise Jack together, living at the lake house from canon. They are taught to defend themself but they are not raised to be a hunter, just a normal kid. Sam and Dean are both involved in Jack's life, as are Jody, Donna, Rowena, even Crowley. It takes a village/etc. but Cas and Kelly are his actual parents.

The apocalypse world stuff doesn't happen, neither Cas or Crowley dies here. Potentially Crowley does get injured/captured in conflict with Lucifer around the same time? and Rowena has a similar arc to what she has after his death in canon but since he is still alive they actually make progress towards healing their relationship in some way.

I am aware that a lack of conflict is not as fun for TV but there's still potential for drama here with Cas being an actual dad to Jack instead of the weird religious devotion stuff they do in canon.

do you think we should forgive people who havw hurt us? even if they aren't sorry or even aware of the hurt theyve caused? you dont hava to respond to this if you dont want to , but i am just thinking, is it actually wise to let specific people exist in my life , (a parent) when they are delusionally unaware of the lifelong damage theyve caused me (and will never understand), or anyone really. Is there a point in.. getting angry, when they oncr again show that they really dont know or care. Still, i enjoy talking to them. So im thinking that maybe forgiving would be better . but i feel like that way i might be gaslighting myself. Have you ever read anything on this?

there is a good book on this anon, "adult children of emotionally immature parents", u can read it online for free if u google the PDF. it is monumentally eye opening. other than that, i can speak from my own experience w/ my parents. i'll put it under readmore cus im bout to get a lil personal;

so, basically, i have one parent, my mom, because my dad has been dead for over 15 years. my parents were alcoholics who worked full time dead end jobs and we never had a close relationship, but i was closer to my dad. when he died, my mom absolutely lost her mind, like, maybe this is dramatic but i do pretty much consider myself an orphan because in 2006 i lost both of them. my mom chose booze, despite the fact that it made her act completely volatile and disturbed, she chose the liquor over me n my sister. my sister is an extrovert and she started spending All her time at other ppl's houses so i was constantly alone with my mom. the emotional abuse she dealt me after my dad's death i think are the wounds within me that truly can never be healed. worse than having to watch him die. my mother would berate me for everything i did, my appearance, the fact i was flunking school, my friends, and most of all, she would always remind me that i am a bad daughter who doesn't love her enough. once i started w the suicide attempts her abuse and guilt trips only got worse. i made a lot of reckless decisions just trying to get away from her. i still feel immeasuable guilt that she is my only living parent but i can't be her daughter. i havent seen her in 3 years..

now that the context is out of the way, here's how i feel about forgiveness: you HAVE to forgive. you have to. for your own sake. to free yourself. for me, when im so so belligerently angry at my mom, i imagine her as a child. i think of her childhood where she was born to a 16 y/o polish ww2 orphan girl and a 17 y/o fatherless boy who had already been thru several detention camps + was forced to join the navy to avoid jail time. i think of the stories she'd tell me from her childhood where she constantly moved from trailer park to trailer park, the caretaker of her 3 younger sisters while her parents worked, her dad often disappearing for months at a time w no explanation, her mother in and out of psych wards. she's always casually bringing up how her parents would beat her if the trailer wasn't spotless when they got home. she was mercilessly bullied at school for being poor so she's never had many friends. she never got any education and has worked retail/cashier positions her whole life. she had to watch her husband slowly waste away, then go right back to work so we could just barely afford to eat. i think of all these factors and it's so so easy to forgive her, despite it all. like if i could reach into her chest and grab her heart and pour all of the forgiveness inside of me into her body just so she could feel happy and light for one single day, i would do it. we are all so broken and forgiveness is the only way we can ever put things back together.

that being said anon...i still have an immensely hard time talking to her. every time we talk on the phone she immediately just starts dumping all of her problems onto me, like how she used to do when i was a kid and she was drunk. she refuses to acknowledge she could ever possibly benefit from therapy. she can't even begin to acknowlege the ways she hurt and abused me. she is deeply, deeply emotionally immature. when i talk to her it rly feels like im talking to a severely damaged child. our conversations are short. i dont tell her anything about my life, i never have. we'll never be close, i've accepted it. sometimes i have days where i'm so angry at her that im ready to send myself to the psych ward over it. but the damage is done, it cant be taken back, only moving forward. and at the end of the day, i forgive her. and i want her to be ok.

i'm not sure what's happened to you with your parent anon, but just know, you can forgive from afar, you don't have to keep engaging with them if they continuously harm you. i really really reccomend reading adult children of emotionally immature parents. its only like 200 pages and you'll fly through it. like i said, available for free as a pdf online. i wish you the best anon and im sorry you have to go thru this but you're not alone. #<333

#1 Day of asking random shit to blogs I follow because I can and I want to + boredom

Do you have any Undertale OCs and/or your own Undertale AU? If you do, can you explain the lore? :]

I'm more of an AU rewriter actually. I'm taking popular AUs and try to make them more realistic and mature (and more political, I love the Underground politics, that's like my favorite subject).

So far, I'm working on Horrortale with my fanfiction Horrortale : Rotten Apple, which is actually more of a pre-Horrortale fanfiction, since I'm working on the events between when Frisk left the Underground and the famine. So far, it's like 20 chapters and Undyne is still not queen. I want her coup d'état to be violent and the result of months and months of bad decisions, not only her bad decisions, but also Toriel's ones as a ruler. Toriel is not a bad ruler at all, but she is impopular because of her exil in the Ruins and the fact that despite Asgore's death, who was loved by the Underground, she did nothing to prevent something like that to happen again. Undyne being the one Asgore's trained, monsters will slowly turn their back to Toriel, which will have consequences on other characters like Sans, Papyrus, Flowey or Grillby. Frisk is not the one responsible for all this either, as they are trying to save monsterkind in a world where adults don't believe them at all. That's a really difficult story to write, but I'm having so much fun with it.

The second one is Underfell, with my fanfiction No Weakness. It's a Papyrus centric fanfiction that takes place after a pacifist route. Since there's no reason for Asgore to let Frisk live, Frisk is actually still Underground, living the best life with Toriel, and protected by a pact formed by Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, Mettaton and Alphys. The kid must stay a secret. But after some months, Papyrus is doubting the plan, as not only they could all be executed if something goes wrong, but there's also the problem of Frisk becoming more independant and asking more and more questions, and worse, taking Papyrus as an exemple, which he absolutely doesn't want because he is ashame of what he has to do every day to survive. No Weakness is also about Undyne, who suddenly starts to act strange, which worried Papyrus, until one day, she left the guard. Papyrus is quite distressed and doesn't understand until Asgore announces his soon to come wedding with her on live TV. The only problem being that Papyrus knows Undyne hates him with all of her soul, and that she is not there willingly. But Papyrus is also the general of the royal guard now, and as a general, you shut up and close your eyes on a lot of things. But Papyrus is really not sure he can do that.

The last one is the most close from an AU I guess, it's What is best for humankind. It's a war AU, focusing on Sans and Papyrus childhood. It's an AU because they are a lot younger in the games, so they couldn't live through the war, but I tried to make it coherent. Sans and Papyrus are forced to run away from their village one night, as humans are attacking. Gaster, their dad, being forced to fight, left them escape alone. Sans will have to protect his brother, and soon, a very small Undyne and a human through the devastated lands leading to Mount Ebott. It's both a survival story and a dramatic story as Sans will have to do and witness things he never should have, and face the betrayal of the only person who is supposed to keep him safe, his own father. Because this AU main story is about what being a judge means. In this world, the royal judge is not a job, it's a very rare class of monsters like boss monsters are. Judge monsters are very low HP monsters that can use karma magic, which is the same magic Sans use in his genocide battle in the game. During the war, the Judges, mainly pacifist, all died during the talks for a peace treaty, as the humans saw an opportunity to get rid of them all at once. The only problem being the magic the Judge develop can only activate if the Judge is traumatised and presents a abnormal level of determination. Sans is the only one left, he is not activated, and Gaster wants him to basically explodes in rage in the human castle to kill the Emperor. For this, he knows there's one solution that will sure piss him off enough: killing Papyrus. But Gaster is also the only one who is sure this plan will work, as both Toriel and Asgore are horrified by the idea. To stop the war, how far all of them are willing to go? That's the main story!

My last AU is a more classic one, it's a Sans x Reader fanfiction in a post-pacifist universe, Remember the good days. However, Sans is not exactly himself as he suffers terrible memory loss after a tragic attack during one of Frisk's speech. It's getting worse and worse as Sans is not enough stimulated with Papyrus in college. But Papyrus has a plan. He wants you to stimulate Sans, and he is even willing to pay for that. Surely he told Sans everything before hand and Sans won't hate you at all for this. ... Right?

Blinded

Summary: Fuyumi never talked about her eyes until she was bound.

TW: Hostage, threats of decay, past child abuse mention, temporary blindness, trauma

A/N: if you cannot handle these subjects please avoid. Shigaraki may be ooc?

Fuyumi struggles in her binds. The ropes dig into her pale skin as she does. Whoever kidnapped her, took her glasses. So, she is at their mercy. Her eyesight is not as it used to be. Nothing really is, honestly.  

  “Endeavor’s daughter. Not at all what I expected.” The voice is of a man, Fuyumi deducts. However, the voice sounds kind of young.  

Still not something to take lightly.  

“Please let me go.” She asks. Her stomach is knotting at the situation. What she remembers is, is her walking home and something came at her from the side. After that she was roped and bound. 

“I have questions first.” 

“Please, my dad-” Fuyumi pleads. Honestly, she doesn't know if her father would care. She isn't Shouto after all. 

Even though she is an adult who should be living her best life, Fuyumi realizes that that is not possible. Not until her prayers of her father changing are answered. She recently moved out on her own. It was a tough decision. Her father made his displeasure about it known to her every chance he got. Shouto did too. Not that her little brother wanted to use her, but he was nervous being alone with Endeavor. He just didn’t want to admit it.  

Natsuo could only do so much without him getting in trouble. Fuyumi shivers at the distress of her two brothers. She lost the third because of Endeavor. What if she loses them too? 

“That’s my question.” In her blurry vision, she can only see his dark clothes, red shoes, and something on his face. Fuyumi squints and leans in with no avail to finding out who he is.  

 Fuyumi barely registers his movement until he gets too close to her. That is when she notices the hand grabbing his face. “Whe-wait. What’s with your eyes?” 

Fuyumi gasps and leans back. Not many people realize what is wrong. Even with her big glasses, it isn’t notable until you get very close. “The scars, what are those from?” 

“Nowhere.” She looks down. She has never been good at lying.  

“Liar,” In the corner of her eye, she sees him grip something. She can’t really tell what it is. What she does see is it crumbling. “What happened?”  

“Why do you care?” Fuyumi didn’t mean to snap at all. She wanted to be kind and sweet, hoping that he would cave into her and let her go. It's what she sees in movies and cop shows.

“Because I want to know.” Fuyumi shakes her head. “Well, I don’t want to say.”  

The man tsks and grabs her face. “What happened?” 

She feels like crying. No one has asked her that in so long. Not since it happened. And the last time they did she went off. Because of her outburst, Endeavor got mad at her for embarrassing him. Natsuo tried to stand up for her, but she quickly settled it.  

  “If I tell you, will you let me go?” 

“We’ll see.” That is better than nothing. Fuyumi can only go by movies of what to expect. Fuyumi closes her eyes to remember the incident.  

“It was right after mom got put away. Natsuo was angry about it and of course, snappy. Dad had had enough. So, I protected my brother.” 

The man mumbles about how vague it is. Good, Fuyumi thinks. She never meant to go into detail. Suddenly, a hand grabs the sleeve of her jacket. Right before her poor eyes it turns to dust. Fuyumi gasps and is stricken with a new fear.  

“I’m interested, tell me more,” From what she can see, he sits down. “I love stories.” 

She gulps and nods. She can’t help but shake. “Natsuo went off on him. He brought up Touya and how Endeavor failed. When our brother, died...Endeavor shut down his memories of him and wanted us to as well. He cleaned out Touya and Natsuo’s room. Getting rid of everything about him and burning it. All except for one picture. Natsuo and I could only grab a few things of his. Endeavor doesn’t know about them,” 

Fuyumi closed her eyes again. An old instinct pops up. “Please don’t judge my father. It is hard to lose a child! He lost his son and his wife in no time. I don’t blame him for being testy. And he isn’t like that all the time. Only when Touya is brought up and when Shouto fails. It won’t be forever though! We’ll heal. I know we will.” 

  Another voice pops up. It's deeper and honestly, a little distorted? The figure is a mass of black and purple. There is a hint of yellow but Fuyumi doesn’t have the slightest clue of his features. She can’t even tell who the first man is. 

Said man reaches up and tries to grab her leg. “Wait! There’s more, I swear!” He mutters ‘go on’. “Natsuo brought up our brother and Endeavor tried to slap him. But...his hand was hot. I couldn’t let that happen. Natsuo has a weak ice quirk, he can't handle heat. So, I jumped in front of Natsuo. Endeavor is heavy handed. He didn’t realize I was in legitimate pain until I said that I couldn’t see.” 

Fuyumi chuckles. “It was hot and it got my eyes a little. I couldn’t see for a little while. The doctors did what they could. I can see now, but not clearly.” 

“Why did you do it?” 

“I won’t lose another brother. I couldn’t protect my big brother; I didn’t see him crumble. But I will be damn sure to save Natsuo and Shouto somehow.” 

Fuyumi shrugs and looks up. “Besides, it is a small price to pay. What is my life compared to theirs and Endeavor's goal?”  

  “And this is why I despise heroes.” 

Fuyumi is grabbed by the back of her head and thrown into darkness. She lands on the cold, hard ground. Looking around, she barely sees a familiar setting. It is the place she was abducted from. Fuyumi wonders if people can see her.

Turning her head around, Fuyumi only catches a dark ring closing. Her hands are still tied with rope. She tries to sit up as best she can.  

“I thought you wanted to decay her after getting information, Tomura Shigaraki?” The purple figure said. 

“I got inspired instead.” 

He didn’t give her glasses back.  

---- 

Natsuo’s hand lays gently in his sister’s. “Go have an adventure, baby brother.”  

“What about you?” She shrugs and chuckles. “Someone has to stay here. I already switched to a community college. Don’t worry Natsuo.” 

She had taken the money she had saved for her payments on tuition and rent to give to her brother. Because of this, she has to go to a cheaper college, a local one. It is still notable and just as good as a four year university. She can still get her teaching degree at the local college.  

Along with this change came with Fuyumi leaving her apartment to live at home again. She was coming to terms with her staying with the family anyway. Fuyumi was talking herself into a belief that she shouldn't have left in the first place. If she hadn't, none of this would have happened.

  Natsuo started to tear up. His eyes burned with sadness and hatred. If Endeavor wasn’t so abusive, Fuyumi would be able to live her life. She'd be able to stay out on her own and experience things. She wouldn’t have been abducted. A subject that is also avoided in the house, just like Touya's death and the ongoing abuse.

  No one knows what the hell happened. Fuyumi states that it was nothing. Not even Endeavor blinked. At least to Natsuo, that is. Unbeknownst to Fuyumi and Natsuo, Endeavor wanted her to stay so that wouldn’t happen again. It scared him.  

 Anything could have happened. It's a blessing she came out okay.  

“Little brother, I'll protect Shouto. You go and learn. Be the doctor I know you can be!” She pinched his cheek. “And when you make it big time, don’t forget me.” 

Natsuo may not agree with her optimism about Endeavor, but he loves his sister. It's a defense mechanism. Optimism and hope are all she can cling to. Deep down though, he prays that she won’t end up like their mother.  

When she came back, he noticed that she was different. More smiley at first glance. However, Natsuo could see it was forced. They must’ve done something, she must have been so scared, Natsuo thinks. It is heartbreaking to see her like this.  

“What happened, Fuyumi?” She doesn’t need to ask what he is referring to. “I talked and had realized how blind I am.” 

She must remain unbroken. For Shouto and Natsuo’s sake. If that means having poor eyesight so they come out okay, stopping herself from having an adventure, living at home still, she said it once and she’ll say it for the rest of her life: it is a small price to pay.  

------

Endeavor lays on the ground, barely conscious. Tomura stands on him with a fist up. “Isn’t this a hero pose? Or was it the other arm?” 

In this war, heroes are losing to the villains. No helicopter can come and see the failure due to the smoke and decay. The body count is too high on the civilians and heroes' end. The heroes extensively planned this; every detail and had back up plans too. None of which was a match for Shigaraki. 

“And what hero could y-you be?” Endeavor groans. Tomura Shigaraki remembers that lady from a year or two ago. The pretty one with red and white hair. Big, round eyes and glasses. He remembers the scars around them.

He remembers her story.  

“One that wouldn't smack my kids around.” 

intergenerational trauma

My dad grew up as the eldest son in a family of 3 boys. My dad’s dad died when he was still a teenager, and my dad’s mom was abusive (physically, emotionally, and later financially). My dad struggled a lot in his life, and then was also expected to put his whole life on hold to put his brothers through college. His mom would physically beat him, and later even after he was an adult and living in a different country, he would constantly be guilt tripped into sending money back. If he didn’t send “enough” (and no amount was ever enough), his mom would mail him letters or call him at his work number, telling him he was a terrible son and that all the money he made should belong to her because she raised him. After enduring this for a long time, my dad decided to go no-contact with her shortly after my sibling and I were born. My dad doesn’t really talk about his family. It is painful for him and I think he has also repressed a lot of the memories associated with it. When I was growing up, it was hard for me to understand why he decided he needed to do that. Years later as an adult, and having had friends in similar situations, I have a deeper understanding of what could push someone to the point where they had no choice but to separate themselves completely from their family, especially when it is far too late for the original abuse to be repaired. It’s one thing to apologize, but an apology with no real possibility of addressing the harm that was caused is meaningless. My dad did not speak with anyone in his family for 2 decades after until his mom (my grandma) died last year. My uncle contacted me instead of my dad to share the news, and I relayed it to him. Thinking back to what I observed as a kid, I think my dad did what he needed to survive. Not only was the original abuse never addressed, there was still ongoing harm that was constantly hurting him. He also didn’t want that relationship to harm the rest of his family, and that’s a big part of why he made that decision that he did not want her in the lives of his children either. From my own selfish perspective, the hardest part for me is that I don’t have a connection with my uncles and cousins on my dad’s side of the family, because my dad felt that he had to cut himself off from everyone, including his younger brothers. Because his younger brothers had a different experience growing up, I don’t think they were ever able you see it from my dad’s perspective and understand his decision. That saddens me, but I don’t blame my dad for it. Ending a relationship with a family member is difficult, and even though no one should feel like they ever have to do that, sometimes that is what it takes to move on and survive. And I don’t think anyone should ever feel bad about choosing to end a relationship with someone who abused them and never made an effort to repair that harm other than a too-little-too-late apology, no matter how sincere. I think any amount of reduced contact, either partially or entirely, is completely valid. I hope you’re able to move on and find your own joy and happiness in life, even if that life doesn’t include the family member you mention. I’m also glad that it sounds like you’re able to maintain a relationship with your sibling, and that if that is a positive relationship for you, I hope that you’re able to maintain it. Take care. There’s still a lot of love left out there in the world for you, and it can come from many other places than a family that is an accident of birth.

a playlist for our favorite dilf ship! annotations under the cut:

italics = bato, bold = hakoda, both = both

1. my heart dreams - black belt eagle scout

wasting this life, i only want me and you

shamelessly stolen from @meteor-sword 's bakoda playlist. about bato pining for hakoda while hakoda's with kya.

2. no fire - s. grant parker

i rearrange all my intentions / just to keep you on the line / and when you pull away / your voice is still in my head

a song about resigning yourself to not being someone's top priority and learning to be content with the little bit of their attention you get. bato is not way down in hakoda's priorities, but after hakoda gets married and has kids, bato's definitely not the top of the list, and he has to adjust to that.

3. snow ii - wyvern lingo

his eyes meet mine / i try to stop myself from crying / and I know my love grows / like the silence of snow

after kya's death, bato all but moves in, supporting the family and hakoda through the grieving process. it's absolutely the wrong time to be falling in love again, but caring for hakoda can't help but bring up those feelings.

4. pure cinema - thao & the get down stay down

won't you stay a while? / find your family / let them anchor you / in the open sea

5. pangaea - i'm with her

they leave for war, and while they feel quite driftless for a while, they eventually create their own family amongst the warriors (as described in bato's lone wolf speech). they grow closer during this time.

5. epiphany - taylor swift

with you, i serve / with you, i fall down

the first verse of the song is about soldiers, with the line "sir, i think he's bleeding out" - bato being injured in battle. the second verse is about medical workers, with the line "someone's mother, someone's daughter" - modern au kya's death and katara as witness to it. both verses end with "and some things you just can't speak about" - the war trauma and kya's death being two deeply painful things hakoda has trouble processing. and bato is by his side through it all.

oh, it's a lonely life / everybody lives, everybody dies / when the earth shifts and you leave me on the other side

hakoda has to make the decision to leave bato behind at the abbey.

6. little joys - maggie rogers

with no injury to claim / i'm a big mess of little joys / my blue eyes are wrapped in grey / i'm a big mess of little joys

hakoda is happy that bato will be okay, but he's sad to leave him behind.

7. king and lionheart - of monsters and men

taking over this town, they should worry

THE song for the fearless leader and their loyal second-in-command. i made a video here that has as much bakoda as i could manage given their limited screentime

8. coming around again - carly simon

i know nothing stays the same / but if you're willing to play the game / it's coming around again

a bakoda playlist should, by all rights, have dad rock on it, but unfortunately, i am not well-versed in dad rock. this is the closest i've got - it was on a best of carly simon album my mom used to play in the car. mom-pop. it's always struck me as a song about love between adults, about all the mundane parts of relationships, about how you fuck up and things change but you still love each other. it seems apt for bakoda, who are full-on Adults With Kids who've known each other for years, very much not some young first love story but still very much in love.

This is a random collection of Bat!ness AU asks to try and keep them from getting buried beneath the steady flow I’ve been receiving! I’ll probably do another one or two, but we’ll see.

I accidentally randomly scrolled right to the Joker dino and wow, that’s one way to leave an impression, lol. The fingers...

I don’t think they’d swap simply because that was Vanny’s original purpose, replacing Vanessa. And she didn’t want that. Vanny’s gone out of her way to differentiate them visually and in terms of personality. Plus, she’s too enamored with causing chaos and being obnoxious to act like tired, quiet, apparent-pushover Vanessa.

If his family had failed to find him after his parents died, I think Gregory would be like, “Ah yes, such a difficult decision: adults who barely even knew I existed and couldn’t care less about me being orphaned vs my vigilante guardian who 100% knows what I’m going through and my android grand-guardian who gives wonderful hugs and started taking care of me before he’d even met me. However shall I choose.” 

And Vanessa’s chuckling but she’s also tearing up. It’s just dust. Not emotion, gosh, no.

Bold of you to assume Monty didn’t trick himself out with crocodile bits and pieces himself. He’s living his dream life, baby! 

There are many dead parents in this AU, yes. Vanessa’s, Gregory’s, the Afton kids’ mom. Unfortunately, the Afton kids’ dad is only dead in their hearts.  

And they’re both effective! 

Before her coffee, Vanessa’s brain is just the spinning wheel of death. She just agrees to anything someone says to her, which is why she’s not allowed out of the house until she’s mentally coherent.

You ever just watch a baby animal who can’t walk right? And you think they’re adorable, but you’re laughing, but it’s fond, but you can’t help thinking how silly they look when the inevitably face plant? That’s how a lot of Gotham views Vanessa, who has been seen bumping into walls and apologizing to them when she’s particularly tired. Like a baby giraffe was happens to be incredibly rich.

I had my older sister say the *exact* same thing to me too, and she’s 2 years older then me too. Didn’t hint at it. Just said it explicitly and nastily to me when we were lightly arguing once. Never apologized for it. When I look back at our relationship, she was always trying to get me in trouble, never stood up for me, played her bff against me, never treated me like an equal, always made fun of me in a intimate way and in front of people, even in front of her bfs, tried to ruin my name in the family to make her herself look better. Whenever I had something going for me, she dragged it down.

She sounds like your sister. Selfcentered, blames you for her problems, never treats you of equal worth, really insecure, has codependent relations with shitty men, hardly ever gives the impression that she really cares about you unless she needs something from you, wants you to always be at least one rung below her in everything so that you never get potential attention.

I’m not saying she doesn’t love me, and that I don’t love her., deep down. Just that I don’t deserve to be treated this way, never have been. But when you grow up with a sister like this, it has always been a constant in your life, that by the time you realize it as an adult, the greater part of the damage has been done. She’ll never change. This is part of her personality, so its rooted. You got to do what you got to do.

I had to make a horrible decision once to not take her into my home. But I weighed it long and hard, and looking back on all of the abuse she has thrown my way so easily and carelessly, as if I had no feelings at all but was just her emotional punching bag, I had to tell her, No. And tell her why. ‘Because you are abusive to me, and I know you will slip into it again with me if we are living together, like always, and I can’t have it, anymore.’ It honestly was a matter of survival to me. I didn’t leave her in bad condition, she could have asked my other older sister to help her (and did, after). My other sister is as selfabsorbed and thinks I exist to handle everyones problems in the family, and so got mad at me when I didn’t do as they wanted. So they had hate sessions about me , and now I’m the bona fide villain of the family.

I’m not gonna lie and say it was easy for me to stand up for myself because guilt really ate away at me. But living with her would have decimated me internally,psychologically , I know it. Not everyone is so strong that they can rise above the abuse in their past. Most of us just try to manage it and little by little get to a better place inside ourselves.

Good luck to you, you seem to be dealing with it well.

I'm sorry to hear all that. I believe you made the best decision you could and hope you are doing well 💜

To be honest, my sister was never very nice as children. When I was extremely sick at 13 and 14 (I ended up having surgery and very nearly died), she told everyone I was faking up until she saw me after on a million ivs and hopped up on morphine and agony. It was awful, I was suffering physically, my dad didn't care, and my sister thought I was attention seeking.

It wasn't until a few years later where she apologised and genuinely acknowledged what she did. We have a better relationship sonce but she still has bouts of bitternes bc she has untreated trauma, mentall illness, and addiction issues. This doesn't excuse her behaviour but it is a factor in it.

And I know for a fact I can't live with her again. Whenever we were together she was absolutely cruel. She is not the type to share a space with. She is still very immature and I think she resents that I have typically been able to handle things more maturely than she has. Im not perfect but she acts on emotion first.

Anyhow I've been working on saying no to her. It's tough bc I dont have much relationship with any other family.