my 2022 art summary and artist wrapped! it sure has been a year!

Such Colorful Lives | Generation 1 (Red)

San Myshuno style icons and Art Quarter locals, Goldie* and Euphemia* (Effie) Hillman, have been happily married for nearly 40 years. Goldie, is a highly influential and colorful art critic, who spends her days exploring new art exhibits and restaurants around the city. Effie, prefers her monochromatic palette of black, white, and red. She enjoys the finer things in life and is currently editor-in-chief of the fashion magazine, Flamingo. Together, they break all rules of convention! About 20 years ago, they decided to adopt their daughter, Esmeralda (Essie) from Selvadorada. To their dismay, Essie is as spoiled and entitled as they come. Perhaps it's finally time for some tough love...

Credits: The Hillmans are by the talented @somewhsims. They make incredibly diverse townies with equally beautiful backstories, which is reflected above. Seriously, go check them out (ID: somewhsome)! Special shoutout to @m0ckest for inspiring me try this challenge as well as posting about somewhsims!

Decided to build a more in-depth backstory to help explain the prompts for generation red for Essie. So far I'm having a lot of fun with this challenge! Thank you to @simcloudlogic for the beautiful graphics below and of course to @cowberry-jam for creating this fun challenge!

-d.

new moon in ♒ Pick a pile

it's a current energy check In and advice for few. if you want a personal reading for the new moon dm!

everything has come to a halt .things just don’t feel right , you don’t feel alright. there’s energies of uncertainty, it’s like your sick but there’s no physical wounds. the hobbies, the job you do, don’t give you that satisfaction and it just feels so heavy to them. you feel drained there’s this feeling in your heart, a fear, something is wrong, you feel out of place and lost . even trying to achieve your dreams , goals doesn’t seem worth it now. Foods or music that used to be your favorite has no more appeal .you may even wonder if your a good person , good enough as you thought . In a sense you could have been lying and faking to your own self .you have doubts in everything you do. some of you may even feel empty and worthless .this all seems to stem from a place where you’re not validating yourself, you’ve belittled yourself, thinking others have have done more ,they’re more skilled. you don’t place any value or worth on yourself and things that you do. for some it can be due to the situations they’re placed in childhood. any achievements got any praise . and the next achievement had to be greater than the last one .constant progress or failing even once was looked down & shamed.

you guys have been thinking and wondering about your support system ,where you find comfort ,what makes you happy ,you’ve taken a step to notice what’s doing you right and what’s doing you wrong .you’ve been reflecting and understanding yourself and trying to improve what you’re doing in a personal & professional sense. you’ve been planning a lot , comparing pros and cons to some it can be academics & reflecting for which skill/ career is good for you . few of you could be traveling or doing a lot of research basically exploring to find the right path and improve yourself . this pile gives vibes of growth , you’re making the blueprint for success . facing a bit of diet issues, meals that you want to have not being available. some choosing their health & not consuming processed food or take outs .some not choosing to take advice or labels that others throw at you . along with improving you are also cutting out old habits , mindset . Some are overcoming their social media or other addiction / procrastination slump and engaging + improving your life . some of you would have been denying yourself a thing , doing that will give you a lot of relief . by denying you’re suffocating yourself

trying to make ends meet, dealing with deadlines being very overworked ,there’s a lack of care and nourishment of self .keeping yourself busy so you won’t have to deal with some things or feeling unworthy of rest , being cared , gentle love . doing others labor ,people pleasing , not taking up space because you feel you’ll be a burden. being afraid to take up space, to demand , to be content so you in the name of adjusting stay ,unsatisfied ,sad ,insecure ,unloved . due to the fear that if you take up space , ask for what you want , you’ll be viewed as asking too much and you could lose people ,opportunities or titles just because you ask or what you want. it’s advised you stop doing others work ,take rest, nourish your body and let yourself be loved and cared for by yourself before you let others care for you . even if you rest, you don’t rest properly. you keep thinking about what to do ,you haven’t slept well in days , you’re not giving yourself the break you deserve.

you have been putting in a lot of work in yourself ,you try to keep your head high , everyday you’ve been gentle and pushing yourself to heal and be productive and its visible how much you’ve improved since day one .all those small steps have given you big results , you’ve improved your self concept, self esteem a lot of healing and learning about yourself & you’re life . you have come a long way but still sometimes you stress over the smallest of things . overall you’ve been building yourself up ,a lot progress but in your head you still have doubts & confusion. you’re on the right path ,there’s just a bit more of balancing & managing the situation & routines so you don’t suffocate yourself. for some it may stem because they fell trapped by the routine and need to do and improve. some are doing all this to avoid emotions, confronting a situation and making yourself very busy.. you are overworking yourself and also avoiding the stress of the main problem and taking it out on small things because you don’t know how to feel about something ,how to overcome it and get back to your life like nothing happened.

didnt wanna hijack someone's post with the Disk Horse, but I just wanna note that bernard being tim's love interest in 2023 is VERY different from him being a side-side-side character in the early 2000s. i think there's definitely a generational divide on how the relationship's perceived bc there's absolutely a difference between how bernard and tim's relationship is portrayed during their time in school versus in adulthood.

part of reading tim's coming out story in the 2020s with relation to bernard is finally acknowledging that we finally broke tim out of his amber glass. this is also, i will note, a SPECIFIC kind of coming-out-story that won't resonate with folks who weren't living through that specific era of homophobia where the fallout of the AIDS crisis overlapped with the rise of mass surveillance and that post-9/11 grimdark take on superheroes across ALL media. it was a weird fucking time. it also won't resonate with anyone who wasn't "growing up" with tim during his time as robin. now, do you HAVE to know every little thing about tim to accept this piece of character development? no, you don't, but you DO have to take into consideration that tim was locked in the time vault for a veryyy long time and a lot of things, including his on-and-off with stephanie, were part of the status quo for his character long before dc decided to pull the trigger with tim's bisexuality.

but what happens when the forever-sixteen isn't sixteen anymore? he grows up! he gets to reflect! he gets to try new things without being held back by the amber glass. time is the key factor here! if you look at tim and bernard's relationship through the eyes of the robin run of that era, of course it's gonna feel weird! that tim could only really take bernard in doses, bc that tim was as much of an asshole teen as bernard was. with the breaking-of-the-amber, we now learn that tim had to do some serious reflection to get to the point where he could say that this guy he used to know COULD be someone special. if you follow tim's story through the lens of a closeted queer raised in the era of when that robin run was being published, tim's just another queer guy who's finally come to terms with the fact that, that dude he went to high school with who he just ran into at the target might not be so bad after all. he's kinda cute, actually. did he think he was cute back in the tenth grade? probably not, but he's not in tenth grade anymore, now is he?

could DC comics have created an entirely new character to serve the narrative purpose of tim's coming out special? sure. then we woulda had ten years worth of criticism from fandom about how tim magically found a guy superhot and thus dumped stephanie over it, and we would circle back to the same argument about whether tim was a douchebag for dumping stephanie for some rando, and that his bisexuality is an asspull versus 'relevant character development'. either way, it would have upset the status quo. now, is that to say timsteph was never real? no! tim and stephanie talking about his erratic behavior and him coming out to her was to SPECIFICALLY address how him being bisexual isn't meant to downgrade their relationship, or that their love wasn't real. for anyone who's still whining about timsteph not being real anymore bc bernbear entered the chat, i've long stopped seeing it as legitimate criticism bc there are YEARS worth of content with them to indulge in. shitting on a coming-out story and a romance that hasn't even had five real-time years to be explored is just straight up crass and highlights much more insidious problems in the fandom aka the rampant homophobia, quick-to-anger behavior of fans who never learned media or litcrit, and motherfuckers who ride or die for status quo like it'll kill them to enjoy something tangential.

long story short, timbern real and so is timsteph, and one of these days, inshallah bartkon will be real too.

there's so many things i love about the twst anthology manga. it's honestly more fun to me as a fan of the game than the regular manga is, because as much as i love seeing how they adapt the scenes from the game and the little things they add (like getting to see baby riddle, trey, and chenya hanging out 🥺), the anthology is essentially like... extra vignettes, in manga form. some chapters are expansions of the vignettes from the game, but most of it is totally new, and sometimes it provides really neat bits of character exploration?

like, in one of my favorite chapters from the first volume. actually, i'm mainly only posting this as an excuse to talk about this chapter, "a blessing on our unbirthday":

in that chapter, riddle has been so worried about trying not to crack down as hard on rule violations that he ends up exhausted because he lost sleep over it! he says he's worried that that tendency of his might be ingrained in him for good, and it just breaks my heart thinking about how he so deeply wants to break the cycle and shed the excessive strictness and perfectionism that his mother instilled in him, but it's so hard. it's hard to have your worldview challenged so suddenly, to realize overnight that you've been doing things so wrong for such a long time and that all you can do now is try your best to change and improve. it's hard to know that you've hurt people when you never meant to, when you genuinely thought what you were doing was right. it must be especially hard when you're just a teenager who was doing what your parents have been teaching you to do since you were a small child. of course riddle is losing sleep.

but while he's walking through the hallway, thinking about how exhausted he is and how worried he still is, ace shows up. they banter a bit, but then ace very quickly realizes that riddle isn't feeling well and picks up on the fact that he's pushing himself too hard. he tells riddle to slow down and relax, and hilariously tries to manipulate him into deciding to hold an unbirthday party by going on about how maybe they should just have one without him and break a ton of rules while he's not there.

this makes riddle angry, of course, and results in him mentally beating himself up for almost losing his temper. :( but what ace is trying to do works! riddle instinctively gets riled up at his words, angrily reprimands him a bit, and nearly uses his unique magic on him... but ace cuts him off mid-sentence, which throws him off so that he doesn't use it. and then, in his inner thoughts, while he is panicking and sweating and getting upset with himself, he's also managed to stop before he made a big mistake, and now has a chance to reflect and acknowledge that mistake. he knows that it would've been irrational and wrong of him to collar ace just for saying that he might break a few rules.

and all of that is already really important and shows a lot of growth on his part! but then ace responds by telling him he's being too hard on himself and that it's okay to take small steps instead of trying to completely change right away, and riddle is instantly relieved and settles on trying to make everything perfect for the party. before, when ace first proposed the idea, he'd seemed uninterested and like he didn't realize just how badly he needed to take his mind off things. but this time he listens, and understands that ace just might be right, and the story ends on a very fun and sweet note.

and it's just so good. riddle has such great dynamics with each of his dormmates, and i love seeing how his relationship with ace has grown. i really hate when people get mad at ace for demanding a tart and a party at the end of book 1, because riddle treated ace in particular horribly and needed to be held accountable for it. he really could've asked for far more from riddle or still not forgiven him considering that riddle, like, actually could have killed him while overblotted. and i also really hate when people characterize riddle as still being constantly angry after book 1, and/or don't acknowledge everything he did at the end of book 1 to try and apologize for his actions and make an effort to change. he's one of the only overblotters to actually verbally apologize, and i should also add that he did what ace asked of him without question... and had a good time with it, because he likes tarts and parties! i think it's notable how at the end of book 1, riddle had literally just expressed that he had wanted to eat the tart ace made for him and hang out with his friends, so ace basically asked him to do exactly that along with having to do the hard work that would be involved in it.

and now, they're genuine friends. they've allowed themselves to start over with a clean slate, and in this anthology chapter we see that ace can comfort riddle and have fun with him without holding the past against him, and once again is helping him out of a rough spot by convincing him to have a party. i just love it, i love what this chapter says about riddle and what it says about him and ace. i really hope we get a third volume of the anthology someday, with group art of the third years on it since the first two volumes have the first and second years on them:

and i hope they get officially released in english someday too because i would really love to be able to own them.

How do you come up with so many intricate plots and characters? They seem so… human? I’m very surprised you don’t read much! I guess what I’m asking is, what’s your creative process? Do you take inspiration from aspects of yourself, or is it more of a form of escapism? When you write your plots, do you imagine yourself as the character, the audience, or both? 

Another thing that truly amazes me and makes your channel stand out a lot is the way you give the listener a voice. It feels like each listener is so different and unique, and *actually* interacts with the character. It also feels like you’re never spoon feeding us information? All the questions do get answered, but it’s different style imo. Usually, in most ASMR RPs I’ve heard, the speaker will repeat what you said verbatim, (eg. “You think XXX?”, or “You want me to XXX?”), and the frequency at which these types of phrases are used makes it *seem* like a RP. Of course, it’s a challenging medium - the audience needs to know whats going on somehow, but you manage to achieve the same in a much more subtle way. It makes me wonder how long you spend planning out your content haha.

Final question, do you prefer to type or handwrite your plans, scripts, etc? I’ve always preferred planning on paper, even though it’s a bit impractical haha. Also, would you mind showing us your handwriting? I think it says a lot about a person! There’s the stereotype that people usually have a certain handwriting that corresponds to their major/occupation, and if I remember correctly, I think you studied film? I’m just curious hehe. No pressure, of course!

Sorry for sending you an essay, I hope you have a restful and comfy Friday! 

Thank you!

Honestly, I don't know how I do it myself considering my memory is absolute shit! Though I don't read much, I learn about characters through other mediums such as television shows and movies. I'll try and break this down for ease of reading!

~My Creative Process~

When making a character or series, it all depends on where my initial inspiration began. For example, with Niall, I wanted to create an M4M series exploring a character who carries trauma of being forcibly outed, betrayed by someone he confided in, and how those events affected him through his adult life. The core of Niall's story was confronting fears that manifested due to the Listener's actions in school, and finding that there was a way to heal, albeit slowly, and a hope to love despite external animosity. Niall exists because I wanted to tell a particular story.

With Zaros, he first came about because of The Noble Trials plot. I knew that he would be different from other characters, so I'm using this series as a means of testing my skill with a new editing style, story format, and new world setting. Although it's more work, I have the most fun with The Noble Trials and making its lore (though I'm always a sucker for that)!

I go into creating characters with the belief that they are all extremely flawed. Whether that be by nature or nurture, there will inevitably be some slew of events in their pasts that shaped the way they act in the current timeline. This also extends to the Listeners so they aren't rigid, boring, and an empty shell. Characters can clash, but they can also change with and for each other. A good example is Isaac's story. He was scarred by his past, and was willing to confine Pickle in the house if it meant not losing someone he cared for again. Pickle was also scarred with abandonment and instability, wondering if they would ever find a home. Isaac gave them a place to belong, and Pickle gave him consolation and courage to face the unknown.

When I write, the character's actions must reflect the backstory in which they were crafted, so I always need to dive into their heads.

~Listener Dialogue~

This requires much more thought to make interactions seem authentic, but there's a fine line between repeating words verbatim and not alluding to any sort of context. I dislike repeating the Listener's words so I try to indirectly insinuate what they were saying whenever possible. If I can do so with SFX alone, that's a bonus! But when scenes contain heavy dialogue, it can be difficult to get the message across without being heavy-handed with repetition, unless that's the purpose of a specific moment.

~Handwriting vs Typing~

I always handwrite my outlines! On some occasions, I can start and finish a script without the help of one, but my workflow tends to include writing an outline of some kind, and it has to be done on paper! I feel like the ideas manifest quicker that way.

However, I always type my scripts. It's much easier to edit, share with other voice actors, and there's a level of professionalism in formatting that motivates me to write more!

Here is an example of my writing. This screenshot was part of a Twitch stream!

don't know why I decided to throw this together but here it is anyway lol

under the cut, I collected little snippets from the recent Ryan interviews that were just...*chefs kiss*

because as much as we claim to love Eddie Diaz and the Buck/Eddie dynamic? Ryan loves them even more and I could listen to him talk about these characters all day

As far as [Eddie's] sexuality, I think it's pretty clear that he's tried to fill in this motherly, this wife type role—that's all he knows," Guzman explained. "And he's a man [that] first off, he's Catholic. Second off, he's from the military. So those are very straight-edge kind of lifestyles that don't offer too much of exploring. But through the 118, he's had this epiphany each year, like, 'Well, maybe I don't know as much as I thought I did. And maybe I should be exploring a little bit more and maybe I should understand myself a little bit more and even seek a therapist,' which is something new for Eddie. So I feel the representation is reflective of the inclusivity that Ryan Murphy's show likes to have and Tim Minear likes to write. (source)

I think the ultimate goal was to show that the connection between Buck and Eddie will remain, and that is going to be stronger than ever...Because now we’ve unveiled this new vulnerable side of Buck, and last season we got to unveil this new vulnerable side of Eddie. So the connection is just that much more simpatico. (source)

So it doesn't matter what he said at that moment. Eddie was going to be there for Buck. And it just happens to be something Eddie had never even thought of. So the initial reaction towards Buck is that of where did this just come from? I didn't even see this. And then the next reaction is, oh, my friend just did something extremely brave. I need to give him all the comfort and safety to know that he can do this for however long he wants to do this. Share with me, come to me. Which I think shows how amazing their friendship is. The whole process, I think, for Eddie is just welcoming Buck into his new obstacles. (source)

And the way Eddie navigates that is just kind of a no, that's just who he is. And nothing ruffles my feathers. Even if you break my ankle or maim me, it's fine. That's who he is, and I love him either way. And there's no competition for Eddie. Watching Buck trying to compare himself to so many people rather than just seeing how special he is. And that's a lot of the messages that Eddie's been giving Buck.He's like, 'No, man. You are an incredible individual. You're worth all the love in the world. And you need to stop doing certain things. And I'm not going to tell you how to do what you got to do for your life, but allow yourself to be great.' And I think that's the evolution of this relationship. It's just kind of being there for each other and allowing each other to feel vulnerable and work with each other. (source)

I think this idealization of replacing Shannon has really stagnated his relationships. So, him giving himself the opportunity to kind of step back and understand that a little bit more before he moves in with another individual and starts the whole process all over again, is a sense of growth for Eddie, and I'm here for it. Because he needs it (source)

goh starter trio meta perhaps? i was ensnared by the goh-scorbunny parallel subpoint in the cubone meta bc i'm making myself unwell thinking about how scorbunny latching on to goh and goh latching on to ash.... but also more generally, sobble's whole thing and the absolute tearjerker drizzile evolution episode, and goh's weird ass dream about his rillaboom parents and then waking up to baby grookey clinging to his arm, you get it, i know you're galaxy brained about this

YESSS I AM *SO* GLAD YOU ASKED!!

so my tl;dr here is that all of the galar starters represent something about goh specifically relating to his childhood. their growth and eventual evolution (or lack thereof!) therefore serve to highlight his character development (as an aside, i think this is a very common theme in anipoke. ash's pikachu not evolving speaks to the fact that ash's growth isn't about becoming someone new but about staying true to himself and embracing a battle style that reflects the creative ingenuity that, in the early os, other characters mocked him for. similarly, dawn's piplup chooses not to evolve because it doesn't want to change how things are between them. does this not seem fitting for the partner of someone like dawn, who has always admired her mother so much that she never even considering doing something other than following in her footsteps? i'm sure there are other examples, but these seem to me the most obvious ones!).

let's break down each one, then!

scorbunny

when we meet scorbunny, goh is still determined that mew will be his first pokemon. this is a point of stubbornness that, while impressive and arguably kind of admirable, is frankly kind of stupid. how is he supposed to get to mew without any pokemon to help him? there's an interesting implication in this resolution, which jn004 and jn005 really highlight for us - goh isn't comfortable with having a pokemon. he knows a lot about them, is interested in researching them, but as far as the bond between pokemon and trainer goes, i don't think he feels prepared for that. it's easier to pick a target that is far from reasonably attainable for him at this point, especially since he does have some history with mew - didn't it take an interest in him? didn't it give him a reason to chase after it?

so meeting scorbunny, he's obviously not thinking about catching it. but he lies to the guy at the scone stand, in an interesting parallel to how scorbunny steps in to protect the nickit. he doesn't even seem to know why he does it. but just before that scene, he sees scorbunny wipe some of the dirt off its face. he doesn't get the whole story and connect all the dots until after, but i think he realizes then that scorbunny is trying to hide itself in some way. that it's performing as something it's not. and on some unconscious level, that motivates him to lie for it. after, we get this whole exchange, where the scone seller tells ash and goh the story

and this note is what makes goh get up and approach scorbunny and the nickit:

it's very symbolic that he wipes the mud off scorbunny's face. and then later, he even points out when they see it again that it looks better without all the mud covering it up - it looks more like itself. it's not pretending to be something it's not. goh wiping the mud off its face is him saying that he accepts it as it is. that being resigned to living a certain way just to fit in or just because that's how it's always been is pointless.

and i mean...even ash says in this scene that the things goh is saying are things he's only recently learned himself, right? goh denies it (and tbh when he says that he's always thought the world is big and anyone can explore it if they want to or whatever - i don't think that's untrue! i think it's just that, prior to meeting ash, he didn't have it in him to explore it), but ash has a point. and what goh is doing for scorbunny here is the same thing that ash did for him.

relatedly, scorbunny follows him, right? in the same way that goh "accepts" ash as his friend, scorbunny chooses goh as its trainer. goh recognizes that it travelled far for him, that it saw a vision of its future with him, and changes his mind about not catching it. i think the determination he saw in scorbunny to chase after its dreams resounded with him, because he's only just started doing the same thing. and his entire character is built around this idea of like, learning how to adapt and how to let other people help you find the courage to chase your dreams (and even to help you chase them). how could he possibly deny scorbunny the same thing?

but while scorbunny's enthusiasm helps motivate goh to chase his dreams, he is very flippant and dismissive, as we see when it learns ember and he says it doesn't matter, that scorbunny doesn't need to know a fire-type move and this gut-punch of a line, of course:

goh is someone who needs a lot of convincing to do things he doesn't think he'll be good at (or enjoy). he only joins project mew because gary goads him into it. he spends most of his life refusing to make friends, because he had one bad experience. he's a fairly black-and-white thinker, which makes sense considering his background. he doesn't really believe in change. he especially doesn't believe that people (or pokemon, in this case) can change their circumstances just through hard work and determination. as we see in jn003 with the ivysaur, he also doesn't think that it's anyone else's place to intervene and "help" others. if you can't change something, then don't. and there's no point in hoping it'll change on its own, either.

when scorbunny storms off here, his expression is interesting. this isn't the expression of someone being judgemental. it's the expression of someone who sympathizes.

he sees scorbunny trying so hard to do something he thinks it can't do and thinks that scorbunny's determination to change things is, if i had to guess, kind of immature. a lesson scorbunny will have to learn, whether it wants to or not. at first it's kind of endearing, but then he actually gets frustrated, because he feels like scorbunny's determination to learn ember is harmful to them both. here, there's a degree of "why won't you just trust that i know what's best for you?" for sure, but on a deeper level, i think that stems from a place of "can't you see that i'm just trying to protect you?"

...but obviously, all he really does is wind up lashing out and hurting scorbunny's feelings. he tells ash that he was trying to draw out scorbunny's strengths (and he was, by telling it to use moves it was already good at!), but ash points out that their values weren't aligned and that's kind of the opposite of strength when it comes to pokemon battling. so he reassesses the situation and finds a way to bring out scorbunny's strength that also aligns with what scorbunny wants. that compromise is what makes scorbunny evolve. it was the right call! but then raboot starts ignoring him.

and this is like. a running gag with scorbunny - goh gets distracted by other things and doesn't notice that it's trying to show him things. it happens when they meet and it happens again in this episode with its ember. we see something very similar with goh and his parents in jn032 when he's excited at the prospect of their vacation together, but when he tries to ask what they want to do, he turns around and find they're both asleep (and we see the flashback of something similar happening last time, too).

with raboot, in a lot of ways, goh is grappling with...himself. or at least, the person he was before he met ash - cold and distant, more interested in doing whatever he thinks is worth his time than in school, for example. so if goh saw his child self in scorbunny, he sees his more "adolescent" (i mean. he's still ten so still child, technically. but older child lol) self in raboot. and he actually responds to this in a way that's a lot like how we see his parents responding to him. in jn022, we see him

buy a bunch of apples for raboot, even though he thinks it doesn't need them (and is hurt when it doesn't let him have one, despite raboot seeming pleased that he bought them for it). compare to the device he shows horace in jn032, for example, which he says his parents built for him. or his six computer monitors. his parents reach him best through material means!

question why raboot hates him when it's not responsive to his overtures. contrarily, goh's parents don't think he hates them; they just automatically assume the worst case scenario (like in jn015 when he calls and they immediately wonder if he did something and got kicked out of the institute). but while that's their worst case scenario about him, raboot hating him is kind of goh's worst case scenario, right? it took him time to open up and accept scorbunny as his partner. now that it's evolved and is acting differently, he's terrified that he came to care for it only for it to leave him.

which leads to my last point here, which is that he doesn't actually ask what it wants. in this episode, he concludes that raboot would be happier without him. so he leaves it behind, but he never actually considers how it might feel. goh's parents do the same thing! they worry about him, but they don't share their concerns or ask how he feels. they just assume that he must feel a certain way and they adapt to compensate for that. but they never actually ask him what he wants.

this episode ends with him realizing that he hasn't been reacting to raboot's feelings so much as to his own, of course, and we see their relationship smooth out quite a bit. he's acknowledging that he's done things wrong, but also that it's not all his fault - and raboot's change in temperment is just a consequence of it evolving. they accept each other again and move on.

then, it evolves into cinderace and kind of opens up again more (though it's been doing that little-by-little since jn022). i think the fact that raboot and riolu evolve at the same time was a really cool move by the writers to kind of demonstrate how like...the relationship between ash and goh is reflected in the growth of their pokemon. they trained together! in a way they kind of grew up together! riolu, ash's token baby pokemon in jn, evolving at the same time as goh's starter feels like a very deliberate choice to highlight how ash helped goh's pokemon grow, too - through getting the ball rolling with how he helped goh grow as a person and a trainer. if that makes sense?

anyway, i don't have much to say about cinderace, other than that if he saw himself as a child in scorbunny and as an older child in raboot, then cinderace's level of openness and its enthusiasm aren't just reflexive of it getting back more of its scorbunny-esque personality - it also shows how goh has changed and has learned to embrace these parts of himself, now that he's in that "coming of age" age (well, for pokemon. he is still only ten lmao).

i think we see something similar with his other starters, though maybe a little less on the nose.

sobble

the drizzile episode, as you mentioned, is probably Thing here. but i think the theme with sobble is sort of that, where scorbunny maybe reflects more of the way goh thought about growing up and his aspirations (and how hard it was to open up to people), sobble more so mirrors his social experiences at school and with chloe.

VISUALLY, i think it's really telling that when goh catches sobble, he's...literally speaking to it from the other side of the water:

this whole episode (jn028) is about goh kind of...forcing sobble into positions it's not necessarily comfortable with, and not realizing that it's uncomfortable until it runs away from him. as we saw with raboot, this is a common theme with goh - but it's most obvious with sobble!

he realizes, of course, and says this:

even in flashbacks, goh never comes across as a shy kid. he doesn't exactly relate to sobble, but i think he's drawing a parallel here between them. he wasn't shy, but he was always on the "outside" - that's why he's so good at researching. he strives to see things as they are without getting involved. eventually, this is something that will make him a pretty thoughtful and strategic battler, though at this point he's still learning how to apply that to more than just research for the sake of research.

and then after sobble meets inteleon, we have these bits too:

goh's childhood motivations on the surface appear to be like...he doesn't want to bother with friends, because they aren't going to be able to serve a purpose for him. he isn't interested in making friends with anyone who is less into pokemon than he is. but after what happens with horace, it seems to get a little more complex, and then we have to wonder if his motivations really were that surface-level to begin with, or if, maybe, his policy of not making friends has always been a way for him to protect himself from betrayals like he experienced with horace.

we see chloe as early as jn001 trying to convince him to make friends, to no success. she doesn't even refer to herself as his friend - he doesn't seem to be willing to let her. he believes he doesn't need friends and is better off alone. but he doesn't realize until after meeting ash that his solitude is more of a self-imposed exile, in that it's hurting him more than other people. he can't improve as a person and reach his goals if he's too busy trying to protect himself to accept that he needs help from other people to do those things. so, again - i think he sees that side of himself in sobble. so it feels very impactful that he reaches out to help sobble become a better battler, but rather than forcing it to battle in a way that makes sense to him, he comes up with a way to have it train that plays off of its strengths of running and hiding.

and then, of course, there's the episode where sobble evolves, jn062. the writers themselves do most of the work here of drawing the parallel between goh's childhood and how drizzile is feeling, but i think it goes even deeper than that. drizzile is unhappy because it wanted to evolve into inteleon, not into drizzile. it's not comfortable in its own skin. and it doesn't necessarily want others to see it, because it feels like it's still growing and it's not ready yet. it kind of just...needs time to sulk and brood. drizzile runs away again, because it's not ready, and while they're looking for it, it's chloe who makes goh start thinking about when he was a kid, by saying this:

which prompts him to think about how he was searching for a "reason" for why drizzile was acting how it was, just like how adults used to demand reasons from him even when he didn't have them. and then of course we get this scene:

but i think he does on some level know why, because he talks immediately after this about how his parents weren't home and often felt lonely. he's more comfortable being alone. he's protecting himself. which is reinforced by the fact that he then tells drizzile this:

goh has a hard time putting his feelings into words, which is something we see throughout jn. he sees that drizzile is the same and this is a huge moment for him, because he's saying here that it doesn't matter what inspired its feelings; he understands it is experiencing those feelings and that's enough. he'll wait until it's ready to fully process them or whatever else it needs. drizzile kind of returns the favour when he starts crying here and it reaches up to brush away his tears, then disappears again.

overall, this episode does an amazing job of showing us how goh has become someone who actually acknowledges his and his pokemon's feelings - this is the only time we see him as a child where he's not doing something to try to ignore his feelings, or trying to walk away from them. in flashbacks, his back is often to his parents. in jn032, he gets upset, and then tries to cover his disappointment up immediately with anger and avoidance. the writers set this scene up so that we can see the reason behind his feelings clearly (just like we can see the reason behind drizzile's, even though goh and co. can't), but they rightly emphasize that goh's ability to analyze "why" he or his pokemon are feeling a certain way isn't always helpful. emotions are meant to be felt, not intellectualized. it's a good message, and a huge area of growth!

drizzile's evolution into inteleon also shows us how this acceptance translates into it eventually being comfortable enough to be who it wants to be. and the characters are impressed by it - it even earns kecleon's admiration, the same way that other inteleon earned its when it was a sobble. this is a pretty clear mirror with goh's social life, where he went from being this friendless outcast figure to someone with a lot of friends, and a great willingness to make more, as he became more comfortable and confident and willing to reach out to others.

and lastly,

grookey

the only one of the three that doesn't evolve, for reasons that aren't ever really made clear to us. but i think that as random (...and tone deaf) as his dream sequence at the start of grookey's debut episode is, it actually makes a lot of sense. in the original, the dream has camille and walker transformed into rillaboom, and goh is understandably freaked out. but i think the bigger, more symbolic thing is that even if it is a dream, his parents are the ones that foist grookey upon him. this does seem like a really weird choice, until you start thinking about the parallels, right?

in reality, grookey is team rocket's pokemon. the episode title "when a house is not a home" tells us that grookey obviously doesn't feel like it "belongs" there. but the episode doesn't open in team rocket's base. it opens in goh's apartment. and the part i didn't show in the drizzile scene above is when he says this:

the fact that goh was home alone a lot as a kid gets brought up fairly often. it implies that he kind of had to adopt this lone wolf persona, because there was no one else around to take care of him. he had to learn how to console himself and meet his own needs (hence why he's so combative about ash intervening with the ivysaur in jn003!), which is a lot of responsibility for a kid. grookey is handed to him like it's a responsibility in his dream, but then they bond. and he starts to appreciate having grookey around, to the point that he misses it when it returns to team rocket.

to me, the choice to have grookey not evolve kind of comes down to grookey being kind of...emblematic of goh's childhood. like, in his dream, grookey is this burden that's forced on him. someone he has to take care of, even though he isn't really prepared to do that. in reality, grookey is escaping from an environment that doesn't meet its needs. putting those two things together, i mean...that's just my reading of it, anyway. so grookey not evolving, and goh accepting grookey as it is - without any of the "growing up" analogs we have with cinderace and inteleon - is a way of showing that goh has come to terms with his childhood and that he accepts (and cherishes!) his childhood self. which he can only really do after he's done all the growing we see reflected in the evolutions of his other starter mons. (relatedly, grookey is the only starter of goh's who goh considers leaving with other mons in its evolution line. specifically, with two thwackey and their child, i.e. a family unit not unlike goh's!)

anyway! this is a very long post, so thanks for sticking with me if you did. hope my takes are as galaxy-brained as you hoped hehe

Decided to rant about Striker's character and why I think he works (Warning: This ended up being massive)

The best analogy about Striker that I can make is that he isn't really a cowboy, but a comic book villain who themes himself around being a cowboy. Now that I've done the meme-y version, allow me to actually explain.

A lot of people seem to overlook that there is a single thread that holds together Striker's personality, and is the root of most of his characterization. And that thread is a need for respect.

Let's look through his appearances and explore how his obsession manifests:

Harvest Moon Festival:

In his first episode, Striker presents himself as a model Wrath imp in order to gain the trust of Millie's family and Blitz. The only person he breaks character around is Moxxie, since he assumes Moxxie's insecurity about not being good enough in the eyes of his in-laws will make him automatically respect someone who they do approve of.

He later breaks character when Blitz catches him, he tries to convince Blitz that they're too good to live their lives around the whims of nobles, he tries to show himself as someone who can get Blitz what he wants, or rather, what Striker thinks Blitz wants, again to seem like someone who's "got it figured out" .

Another note worthy thing is his very professional way of speaking with Stella in both this and the next episode he's in, we'll get back to this later.

Western Energy:

The first point of interest is easy to miss the significance of, when breaking into the Richest Cup he makes it as dramatic as possible, he's trying to show himself as dangerous enough to warrant such cocky recklessness while surrounded by goetic demons.

After he takes Stolas we see his hideout which is full of scavenged western imagery that looks like an ominous lair, but upon closer inspection is actually a meager living arrangement for a deeply troubled demon.

His actual rant to Stolas includes a line about nobles taking everything lower class demons care about, showing WHY respect is important to him, he's never felt that he, or the part of society he belongs to, have been respected, or as he later says, all nobles do is try to talk over them.

Striker torturing Stolas shows how his need for respect is reflected in him being an assassin, he thinks he can get respect through fear, that having the most primal form of authority over someone will make him feel more significant. And this is why Stolas and I.M.P. are his greatest enemies, their irreverence makes them the only targets that don't play his game, that remind him of what he really is, a desperate, fragile, hero in his own mind, willing to do whatever it takes to prove his importance, not to others, but to himself.

Once again, he's begrudgingly cordial towards Stella despite his hatred of royals, in an effort to get even a fleeting acknowledgement of his worth. Showing that his belief that he can play into people's minds to get what he wants extends to his emotional wants as well.

Oops:

Here we see Striker in a much different light, mostly due to his new employer. First off, he's much more open with his frustration and moments of weakness, despite Crimson actually being physically present there and being able to see and hear everything. I think this is because Crim is a rare example of someone Striker doesn't feel he needs respect from. Crimson is, at least in Striker's eyes, an imp who has found moderate success by mimicking the lifestyle of a royal. He might not show it, but Striker probably resents Crimson just as much as, if not more than, he resents Blitz and Fizz, since Crimson has no actual royal support (that we know of).

Speaking of Blitz and Fizz, in his interaction with them in the cage scene we get the most blatant example of Striker thinking that his victimhood as an imp makes his "accomplishments" more worthy of respect, as he completely skirts around the fact he's the only hybrid out of the three, and we also learn he's aware of all this on at least some level when he threatens Fizzarolli for comparing him to a royal due to his arrogance.

And lastly, the climax when he grabs Fizz and the moment when we get the immortal line "Why is it always a sex thing!?", and why is it always a sex thing? Why do the members of IMP and those close to them not fall for his act? Put simply, it's due to trust, no matter how skilled or intimidating he is, Striker is still a loner with no one and nothing to fall back on beside his own skill. In sharp contrast to this the main cast have strong enough bonds that they know someone will oppose him. For example, Striker's attempt at demoralizing Stolas fails because he didn't think Blitz would trust his employees enough to do the saving.

So, yeah, I think Striker currently has a better thematic through line than any other villain in the series and I'm interested in seeing where they take him next. That being said, I feel Crim could be just as great and will probably make a similar post for him after his third episode.

Ian was saying that more complex toppings were more ‘mature’ (as opposed to plain cheese pizza which admittedly is popular with children) plus cashews are expensive/fancy/healthy. Is he trying to project a more sophisticated image or something?

Is poor Sunshine the familiar, reliable but boring childhood comfort food he’s leaving behind to try something (or someone) more adventurous and glamorous?

Does he at one point start to see himself as outgrowing them? (In the opening of the game Sunshine expresses the opposite, implying Ian is the one childhood thing they’re nostalgic for. Ouch.)

He seems to talk about cheese pizza like they always get it, like it’s the safe fallback option… hmmm…

Googling brings up stuff about cashews being offered as a pizza topping in some places in the Northwest, others say it originated from some place in California called Dave’s Gay 90s. Can’t speak to the truth of that and don’t know why a young man living in Texas wants it, but perhaps it reflects his aspirations.

California is apparently home to a number of actors that have made it big and perhaps that’s where his acting school is?

So the cheese pizza is his safe childish past with Sunshine and the Californian cashew pizza topping is symbolic of the acting success he’s hoping his adult future will be?

I don’t know, I’m not American

Your analysis is very insightful. I think you did a great job with it. I really like the idea of the pizza being a metaphor for MC and Ian's relationship.

It would sadly make a lot of sense that part of why Ian cheated was because he outgrew the relationship and MC. It/they didn't satisfy him anymore. He wanted new, exciting, more mature things. MC was safe, nostalgic... a piece of Ian's childhood.

It makes sense too why after Ian cheated, MC recklessly abandons anything nostalgic. They're trying to move on from those feelings that Ian took for granted after the cheating tainted them.

It also makes sense why Ian is so desperate to get MC back, as new things, however exciting, are scarier than something safe and familiar.

Sometimes I've heard stories about couples that were together for years since they were teenagers who clicked just right and seemed perfect for one another... only to end abruptly when one partner suddenly starts wanting more. They want to explore independence, other relationships, and everything the world has to offer. They could even regard their partner as perfect even while their feelings have cooled, lamenting that if only they met later in life when they were ready to settle down in a serious relationship... then everything would feel perfect. They wouldn't be feeling this restlessness. The relationship would actually feel satisfying to them.

Then those same restless exes, after cheating, breaking up, whatever, and losing their former partner... They discover that they miss their ex despite being the one to break their former lover's heart when seeking freedom. The other relationships, though exciting, aren't as fulfilling as the childhood sweetheart they dumped. If they can at least stay friends then there's a chance of getting back together, but if not... then it becomes terrifying as their safety net is gone.

Speaking of the fallback option, there's this one picture that isn't necessarily canon where Ian talked about MC as if they were his fallback option if acting didn't work out.

Credit, as always, goes to the awesome Sauce. Sorry about the cropping, but tumblr will not accept what's to the left of this image. You can check the full NSFW version out here if you want to see Ian and MC going at it.

BTW consider checking out the SnaccPop Studios Patreon. It's got a lot of other nice and spicy things. Just don't repost anything posted there.

Ian might be showing his insecurity here, but consider the timeline. If acting worked out, he leaves MC to go to his fancy acting school. There, he seems to have made it as a model and actor... and it's (presumably) where he cheated. He got what he wanted, all the excitement and fame of the life of an actor... including an exciting tryst... then he realized that he betrayed all his ideals, everything he said before about only loving and wanting MC, and his relationship with MC all for one moment of excitement.

MC was the comfortable option, the nostalgic option, the safe option... but sometimes a person just wants to take risks, to "grow up" and be adventurous... and sometimes that leads to reckless decisions, like what happened with Ian.

We might not know for sure exactly what led Ian to cheat, but he knows he messed up, as he admits to himself in the demo. He knows he wrecked a good thing... and that's why he's so desperate to get his safe nostalgia back.

Guess cashew pizza wasn't all that it was cracked up to be, was it, Ian?

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur

jupiter vs. saturn: sagittarius

jupiter

they are more inspired. here, jupiter is right at home. they are able to effortlessly tap into amazement; they almost seem to view the world with fresh eyes every day, and this is down to the native's natural curiosity and sense of wonder. they aren't curious in the same way that say, gemini is; rather than wanting to collect information, jupiter in sagittarius wants to devour it. they are quite engineering in the way that they break things down to figure out the mechanisms behind them.

they are more self-assured. the natural, easy confidence of sagittarius is expanded on with jupiter, leading to a comfortable, sometimes larger than life individual. they tend to be quite sure of themselves and what they like and dislike, aren't afraid to try new things and in fact often crave difference. they are curious, cool and reflective, with a powerful sense of urgency when it comes to the things they love.

they are more interested in journeys. jupiter in sagittarius, while focused on and passionate about their goals, is a placement that enjoys the ride. they are more able to 'take the scenic route' and stop to appreciate the steps themselves, especially compared to saturnians, who tend to be much more focused on the end result. jupiter in sagittarius doesn't tend to rush through life, and this is a really lovely trait they possess.

saturn

they are more closed off. sagittarius is generally quite an open sign; they are both open-minded and explorative, and willing to share their genuine selves with others. but with saturn, this openness is somewhat restricted, with the natives being hesitant to share too much about themselves or their interests. sometimes, this is due to bullying or criticism in their early lives, but sometimes it's just part of who they are. they take their time to build trust and open up to others.

they are more methodical. sagittarius is often seen as quite clumsy, fast-paced and not the most delicate. but with saturn cooling it down, sagittarius is more collected. they are primarily a methodical individual, chart-dependant of course, with incredible research abilities and a very keen eye for detail and mistakes. they almost become virgo-like in this regard, being critical, attentive and diligent. it can be a very helpful blend, especially when it comes to developing projects or skills.

they are more interested in mastery. unlike their jupiterian cousin, saturn in sagittarius is a little less interested in enjoying the ride. they often have a clearer idea of where they want to be, and are more able to plan ahead and figure out the details of how to get there. they hate to feel like they're 'wasting time' and are often more impatient than you'd expect from a saturn placement. they can sometimes seem like they're in such a rush, they forget to look around and appreciate where they are now.

both

they are both intellectual. sagittarius is traditionally associated with higher education and academia, and although a lot of sagittarians take a less conventional life path, the natives are often keen debaters, analytical and reflective, as if they had just stepped out of university. they are often drawn towards the humanities - languages, cultures, philosophy - but they make excellent researchers and programmers too. the only non-negotiable when it comes to sagittarius’ pursuits is that it has to be meaningful to them.

they are both critical. part of the sagittarian intellect is their critical capacity. they are naturally curious, not just to collect information like gemini, but to break it down and analyse it. they are quick to call out incongruence and fallacy, and they can sometimes be a bit abrasive with their approach, though they never mean any harm; they are truth-seekers, and they can be guilty of sometimes forgetting the human behind an argument.

they are both focused on the 'big questions'. sagittarius, though a thorough investigator, isn’t truly as interested in the little stuff. if it isn’t relevant to their pursuits they become easily distracted, stop taking things seriously and start to feel frustrated, even trapped. the natives need meaning and purpose, and they do have a tendency to run from what isn't serving them, thanks to their ability to close off emotionally when it's needed.

they are both explorative. all sagittarians are curious by nature, and the social planets are no exception to this. they are questioning, driven and investigative, with the wisdom necessary to listen and learn through it. some sagittarian placements can be a bit chatty and forget to really listen, but our natives don't tend to fall into this pattern. in fact, they love to hear about other people's experiences and histories, and they have an uncanny ability to file it all away, utilising it later.

This week's writer spotlight feature is: @ciriceart! They have sixteen works under the Stranger Things tag and ten under the Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson tag over on Archive of our Own!!

Our anonymous nominator recommends the following of their works by CultOfAdoration:

I get this feeling I'm in motion

Rule Me Captive, Drain Me Empty

a good age to meet the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with

to have everything you can see

They care alot about capturing the accurate voice of the characters they write about, and put lots of thought and care into character motivations and worldbuilding :} - anonymous

Below the cut, @ciriceart answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

I just like the dynamic, and getting to write dialogue and think about conflicts that might naturally crop up between the two. I don’t think that there was a chance for them to get along well at all if not for the kids dragging them both into the end of the world, so it’s kind of fun to find different ways for them to get past it. Less of a “they would never get together” and more of a “under what circumstances would they get together” situation.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

I think I just like anything that falls into character study or backstory development. I used to eat up anything under the hurt/comfort or angst tags as well, and those can all go pretty well together. Anything that even vaguely evokes Orpheus and Eurydice is also pretty much guaranteed to get my attention.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

Slow burn. A lot of my writing never sees the light of day (or outside groupchats), but a majority of it is “will they, won’t they” slow burn with the two kind of dancing around the subject until it feels inevitable.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

I’m not sure if I have a singular favorite fic. “New York Hardcore” by CaptainHoney is pretty high up there. It’s part of a larger series, but that first entry stuck with me. The tag “Steve deserves to be happy and go ham in the moshpit” is the truest statement I’ve ever read about that man.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I’ve been working on a sort-of AU road trip fic about Steve, Jonathan, and later a hitchhiking Eddie, as they go cross-country. It’s very “right person, wrong place, wrong time”. Right now it’s just a big mess of notes and writing sprints, though.

What is your writing process like?

Almost everything starts off as scribbles in a notebook/Notes app, or taken down in notes app using speech-to-text on my phone. I always have to do the worst version first or it just doesn't feel right. Everything I want to be included gets thrown in there with very little regard for eloquence or order. From there, I break everything down into bullet points that I can expand on whenever I have time, and move things around into chronological order.

Do you have any writing quirks?

There are some words that I feel like I overuse. Things like “definitely”, “just”, and “very”, which reflects my real life speech habits.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

I try holding off posting until I’m finished if only because it feels SO bad if I don’t manage to complete something. It doesn’t usually work. I get excited, so usually I end up starting to post when things are maybe 60% finished. Schedules remind me too much of school to be fun.

Which fic are you most proud of?

I don’t think I have one I’m most proud of, but I don’t have one that I’m not proud of either. “a good age to meet the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with” is one that I thought a lot about and still think about, even though it’s pretty short. I only posted it very recently, but I wrote it shortly after Vol. 2 when thinking too hard about Robin and what her personal life might be like after everything.

How did you get the idea for Rule Me Captive, Drain Me Empty?

I thought it would be interesting to explore the two of them fumbling through kink and figuring things out in a more organic way. It’s something I always find quite cute, and it feels more natural to me when they’re not exactly well versed in the ins and outs of “proper” kink etiquette and terminology. 

I’m also a Dom-leaning switch Steve truther and I’m out here in the trenches. 

When writing to have everything you can see, what was something you didn’t expect?

The response to it from readers, mostly. I had several people letting me know that the subject matter is more outside of their usual interests but that they ended up enjoying it and seeing the appeal regardless. That’s a pretty big compliment to me because I’m somewhat in the same boat.

What inspired to have everything you can see?

So, when I don’t share an interest with others, I get really heavily invested in why they like that thing, or how the interest came about. It could be about anything - books, music, shows, ships, spirituality, kinks. I just like to Know, I like “getting it”. 

I wrote that fic to understand “under what circumstances would this be A Thing for this character” in a somewhat judgment free zone. Just going right the hell into it like “alright, this is what these characters are into. Make it believable and make it fun”. It works!

What was your favorite part to write from I get this feeling I'm in motion?

I think it’s the implication of how routine hangouts like that are, with Steve and Robin. They go to her house, they get snacks and drinks, and they immediately make themselves comfortable in her room. There’s something really sweet about a best friend making themselves at home in your house, and just existing beside you.

How do/did you feel writing Rule Me Captive, Drain Me Empty?

Nervous! I get really in my head about how I go about things at first. Am I being too needlessly verbose? Too much exposition? Do people even care about all the pointless errands they’re going on, or should we just get right to the bedroom?

But then I calm down and figure, I’m having fun writing about Steve intentionally dragging Eddie around town, and everyone else is just going to have to make peace with that. 

What was the most difficult part of writing I get this feeling I'm in motion?

Does “not immediately oversharing all of my personal hang-ups in the author's notes” count?

Actually, it was probably making the “repercussions” of Steve’s actions still be scary enough for him to internalize as a kid, but not be too disastrous or dangerous for him. I’m still not sure how I feel about it. 

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

It’s very small. In “a good age (…)”, Robin thinks about what it might’ve been like if Steve were her brother and they (affectionately) come to the conclusion that they would have been little shitheads to each other as kids.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

I have a handful of steddie illustrations based on fics that I’m waiting for the green light on to post, and quite a number of fics I’m chipping away at. Watch this space!

Thank you to our author, @ciriceart, and our nominator! See more of @ciriceart’s works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

Hey

Don't really consume original batman comics, can't have acess to this things but I started to read and watch batjokes stuff. I'll say that I consume from the dark and reflecting to the wholesome peak, and one of that keeps heartwarming me is Telltale batjokes. Love how John can go from scary smiling creature to a precious sweetheart. Also like to see different versions of Joker interactions with the batfam in the various fancomics and fanfics. What makes think how I don't see many fics about John Doe with the batfam. Of course I see that is because the Telltale universe doesn't have the Bruce's kids, what is really sad because I think that "collision" could give us some truly great things.

What scenarios do you think it could be treated on these stories that you haven't saw being made yet?

Also, I saw once a post a person made talking how they'd like about John exploring more his sexuality. Like, that would focus more in the John's experiences out of Arkham BEFORE meeting Bruce again. Trying new clothes, talking with new people, discovering makeup (that I think he wouldn't get acess in Arkham). Do you have any thoughts about that too?

Recently I watched some videos that talk about John's possible disorders. How looks like he keeps switching from 'John' to 'Joker' and how he was way more "Joker" in Arkham, maybe having a kind of personality disorder. Sure, must be in that way because they wanted a different John from the one that we have in season one, but we can dream about this a little bit, can we?

That was long. Sorry for the errors, english it's not my language. Like your fics btw. The more I read some things, more I like the whole fan creation stuff and understand better too.

Thank you for the message, and for enjoying my fic! No worries about the length. I'll take your questions one by one:

John Doe and the Batfam

I think one of the reasons not a lot of people (including me) have incorporated the batfam into Telltale fic is that a big selling point for writing it is that the Telltale-verse is its own thing. There's much, much less history to complicate matters if you want to write a canon-compliant story, which includes there being no children to distract Bruce from his relationship with John, which a lot of fic focuses on. The batjokes is certainly what I enjoy! I don't have anything against the batfam (and I'm actually trying to read a little more about at least some of them), but since that interest has never been super high, my fic ideas never went in that direction.

If I do think about bringing in batfam, well, I get a little stuck.

While John is a lighter flavor of Joker, he's still a Joker, and Joker is not a parental person. In the comics he has had some interesting nonviolent interactions with kids, indulging or even protecting them, but that's not the same as being responsible for them. And one of the stronger Joker characteristics John has is his obsession with Bruce and wanting his attention. I don't think John would go all "Death of the Family" on a kid brought into the manor, but he would be wildly jealous. Like, my first plot bunny is John getting a visit from Bruce, who tells him about witnessing this tragic accident at the circus that left a poor child acrobat orphaned, and wanting to help him. Then over more visits, we get a story of little Dick Grayson insisting on investigating his parents murder, so intently that he becomes Bruce's vigilante partner. And John, who's been gnawing on his jealousy over Bruce spending all this time with some kid, loses his shit that an 8-year-old is a better vigilante than he ever was. Just spiraling about how Bruce is forgetting about him. He breaks out, insisting he can help, but just gets thrown back in again. A tragedy!

Okay, let's try one with John out of Arkham, and let's go non-chronological this time and say Bruce meets Jason Todd first. Jason's trying to steal the batmobile's tires, of course, but he's also a witness to a murder or something, so Bruce brings him home. This time John directly witnesses Bruce bonding with a troubled kid, and the jealousy is worse because John recognizes all the ways Bruce calms him down. John and Jason don't get along at all because John is constantly trying to get Bruce to shuttle this kid off to a nice foster home, but similar to the scenario above, Jason's moxy earns him a Robin spot. Then a twist! Jason has leaned into Bruce's mentoring because he wants to find his mother, who he's sure is alive! And John is like, well dang, I'll help you find her if it gets you out of my house. And in some eerie parallels to Jason's comic death, they end up overseas and find Sheila Haywood, who it turns out is defrauding the aid organization she works for. On being discovered, the men she's working with attack Jason, and John has this terrible opportunity to take his jealousy past the brink and let whatever happens to Jason happen-- but he doesn't. He saves Jason instead, not just because he knows Bruce would be wrecked but because he sees parts of himself reflected in Jason. There, that's sort of nicer! I still don't think John would be parental after that, but it would be nicer??

John's Self-Exploration

See, the thing with John having new experiences after getting out of Arkham is that they have to be limited, because that's key to what happens with his character in the game. He's really struggling with finding who he is, because he keeps trying to emulate other people rather than figure out what he personally wants to do with this life. (Which would be understandable even if he was the average person. It's easier to model yourself after somebody else than to put yourself out there again and again to figure out what works for you.) Before Bruce reappears, John is focused on being who he thinks Harley wants him to be and having a place with the gang. It ties into his hatred for Riddler, who just outright disdained of him instead of simply tolerating him like, say, Freeze.

He still naturally does some exploration, of course. He has to dress himself outside of Arkham, and he's a talkative guy so he managed to find, uh, acquaintances outside of the Pact at the Stacked Deck. It probably would have helped him a lot if he'd done more of that, but as much as he seems to act independently in the game, all too often it's in service of impressing Harley or then Bruce. If I were to write about John's exploration, it would probably be about restraint. He would be full of curiosity about the ways other people express themselves, and he'd stifle it because he's not sure if that's what Harley would want. Makeup would be a big curiosity for sure, but I can see John not indulging either because he doesn't see a lot of other guys wear it or because he asked Harley if he could try her kit and she decided to psych him out about it because she could.

Is it too drastic to say that a John who had even trepidatious confidence for self-exploration might have found more balance and avoided his fate in the game? Maybe, but I have to wonder.

John In Arkham Versus Outside Arkham

Personally I tread lightly when it comes to assigning specific disorders to John. It's one thing if someone recognizes their own diagnosis in him and uses that to inform a fic. When it comes to the writing in the game, as far as I can tell, it was just working off characteristics common to the Joker: impulsive, manipulative, self-important, and infatuated with violence, with a poor sense of boundaries and an inappropriate sense of humor. Those traits may be consistent with certain disorders, but there aren't that many fic scenarios where I would feel the need to specify what applies to John, and in those cases I would be extremely careful. When it comes to pure speculation? I'm just not qualified. Heck, I have a fic where I gave John a heart diagnosis and I'm still hoping I wasn't super off-base.

As for the shift from "Joker" to "John," I ascribe to the fish-out-of-water explanation (which, yeah, papers over how Telltale simply needed to change his character for the story). John learned a more aggressive way to navigate life when he was incarcerated in a corrupt asylum, and when the rules he lived by there did not apply outside of it, he had to re-map. Not only did he have to learn different ways to behave, but he had to do it while feeling more off-kilter than usual, exposed and vulnerable. Make a mistake when living in Arkham, you just get put in a deeper hole in Arkham. Make a mistake outside of Arkham, you lose all your newfound freedom and get thrown back behind bars. I don't see a "switch" in John, just him reverting to more aggressive behavior at times, especially when he's under stress.

Well, I hope my thoughts were… interesting? I feel like I pushed back on most of your starting points and that's probably annoying. Sorry!

Keeping up with the Collective Reading!

Channeled song: “Be the vibe” by Sahara Rose

515/ 55 is confirmation for this reading. A lot of healing and light work for the collective at this time. A lot of you are being called to celibacy and stepping into your divine feminine energy (gender doesn’t matter). You gotta be the vibe, gotta hypnotize 👀. You’ll magnetize once you compromise.. hmm I feel like there’s many things you’re letting go of, needing to or the chance to do so is coming up very soon! Many of you are aligning with your soul self (if that makes sense) 22 or 4 is significant. Many of you are allowing the flow of love, life, healing, abundance, divine messages and many more flow within and through you or this may be what you’re being called to do at this time. The title of this message was specifically chosen from spirit, the feel I kind of get from the title is you may have people around you that may be trying to keep up with you… this may even be past people too! It’s time to live freely and break away from things that are putting you in mental conflict even if it’s your own doing. Something may be or feel challenging to you rn but you’re needing to not go against this experience(s) you’re needing to go through it in order to grow and free yourself. If a person or situation is putting you in a tough position then it’s time to rethink and reflect and choose what’s best for YOU! Listen to more conscious music and let the rhythm of the songs flow through you, listen to the words, meditate to it if need be. The minute you release yourself from the constant pain and suffering is the minute you allow the universe to guide you… there may be tears involved as well but it’s all for the best and greatest good. You have many paths/ options/ opportunities before you, there may be some confusing or illusions around some of them but you’re needing to just… live. There’s no right or wrong, this choice is up to you but it’s also to use your discernment as well as not everything that comes to you will be forever in your favor. However, don’t look at it as a bad decision but look at it as a chance to grow within that situation. You’re very wise and you have many elders around you guiding and protecting you at this time. There’s no wrong or right answer… I’m getting a “test” type of energy. A test of will… free will. Are you going to hold back or are you going to do something different? Are you going to stay stagnant in illusions or are you going to explore? “Worth” is what I’m hearing. You could be testing your own worth or this is spirit. Don’t fear indulgence, but instead embrace them! You have many chapters to explore, all it takes is that first step… 123! No more holding onto things, people and self sabotaging beliefs that’ll only continue to hinder and cause more harm to you than good. Step into your willpower and by this you’ll learn the meaning of freedom. Lions are significant too. You’re gaining a fresh new perspective in life or will be. You’ll soon realize that some things have to fall in order for something new, bigger and better to be built that’ll last for eternity. Butterflies, squirrels, chestnuts, black birds and crows are signs that you’ve been seeing a lot. You’re going to realize that the light you’ve been searching for has always been within you, and it’ll continue to be within you but the question is… are you going to allow out to shine? Are you going to allow yourself to shine? You’re a star (could be a star seed too) it’s your destiny and birth right to shine like a bright little star 😭! Water and the color blue is significant. The old version of you is dead and gone, the past is dead and gone, all that was and used to be is GONE! Relinquish all fear and any hidden subconscious thoughts and feelings that are keeping you from reaching the surface. You’ve been hiding from the world and now it’s time to shine. You were also hidden from the world for higher reasons but now it’s time for you to show up and show out my loves. You’re the co-creator of your world and we (your team) want you to create this world for yourself. It’s time to step into your power babes and do what you gotta do!

You’re valuable, worthy and good enough for everything positive thing(s) that comes to you. All that no longer serves must go it must come to an ultimate end, don’t go against it…flow with it, grow with it, heal with it, and shine with it. Master the earth… master self and set yourself free. Anubis and Lord Lucifer are very significant. Be wary of what you’re manifesting at this time as your thoughts are rapidly shaping your reality. I also see a manifestation coming in quickly as well however being ungrateful blocks this energy for you. Living in apathy blocks this flow for you. Worrying about what happened in the past blocks this energy for you… it’s time to forge a new path… your own path! You’re in charge and responsible for the path you’re wanting to forge for yourself.

If you’re wanting to book a personal reading, my cashapp is:

All readings are $35 (only 1 question per reading)

**Please message me before sending money! Thank you! 🙏🏾

Exploring Courage

The arena was buzzing with excitement as the WWE Superstars prepared for another night of electrifying action. Amid the bustling backstage environment, I found myself deep in thought. Tonight was different – it wasn't just another show. It was the culmination of months of hard work, dedication, and a chance to showcase our talents on the grand stage. But there was something else on my mind too, something that had been lingering for a while. 

 As I glanced around, my gaze fell on YN YLN, a fellow WWE Superstar and my best friend. She was in the midst of preparing for her match, her focus unwavering as she went through her pre-match rituals. We had been through so much together – the highs, the lows, the victories, and the setbacks. And yet, there was something I had been wanting to say, something that had been dancing at the edge of my consciousness for far too long. 

 Taking a deep breath, I approached YN as she took a break from her preparations. "Hey, YNN." 

 She looked up, offering me a warm smile. "Hey, Miz. Nervous?" 

 I chuckled, a nervous energy of my own bubbling beneath the surface. "Yeah, you could say that." 

 YN tilted her head, studying me curiously. "You seem a little off. Is something bothering you?" 

 I hesitated for a moment, my gaze meeting hers. It was now or never. "Actually, there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about." 

 YN's eyebrows furrowed in concern, and she motioned for me to continue. "What is it?" 

 I took a deep breath, my heart racing a mile a minute. "YN, you know we've been friends for a long time, right?" 

 She nodded, her expression softening. "Of course, Miz. You're one of my closest friends." 

 I nodded, my resolve growing stronger. "Well, lately, I've been feeling like there's something more between us. Something that goes beyond friendship." 

 YN's eyes widened slightly, surprise evident in her features. "Miz, I..." 

 I quickly raised my hand, stopping her before she could respond. "Hold on, YNN. Let me finish." 

 She nodded, her expression a mixture of curiosity and uncertainty. 

 I took a deep breath, gathering my thoughts. "YN, I've been thinking a lot about us – about how we support each other, understand each other, and have each other's backs no matter what. And I can't help but wonder if there's something deeper here. Something that we've been ignoring for a while." 

 YN looked thoughtful, her gaze distant as if she were reflecting on our history together. 

 "In a way," I continued, "it's like we've been dancing around the idea of being more than just friends. And I think it's time we confront that." 

 YN met my gaze, her eyes searching mine for sincerity. "Miz, I value our friendship more than anything. You mean so much to me." 

 I nodded, a mixture of hope and nervousness churning within me. "I know, YNN. And I value our friendship too. But I also can't ignore the way I feel." 

 She sighed softly, a conflicted expression crossing her features. "This is a lot to take in, Miz." 

 "I know it is," I admitted, my voice filled with earnestness. "And I don't want to pressure you or make things awkward between us. But I needed to be honest with you." 

 YN's gaze softened, and she placed a hand on my arm. "I appreciate your honesty, Miz. And you're right – we've been through so much together. Maybe it's time we explore what's been right in front of us." 

 A surge of hope filled me, and I couldn't help but smile. "So, you're saying..." 

 YN chuckled, a playful glint in her eyes. "A little liquid courage might make this easier." 

 I grinned, relieved that she understood what I was trying to convey. "You mean you're up for this?" 

 She nodded, her smile genuine. "I think it's worth exploring, Miz." 

 As the adrenaline of the impending show coursed through my veins, a new kind of excitement joined the mix – the excitement of possibility. YN and I had shared countless moments, faced challenges together, and stood by each other's side. And now, as the stage was set for another epic night, I couldn't help but feel that our journey was taking a new, unexpected turn. 

 As the lights dimmed and the crowd roared, I took YN's hand in mine, the promise of what lay ahead filling the air. Our paths were intertwining in a way we had never imagined, and as we stepped onto the grand stage of WrestleMania, I knew that this night held the potential to be the beginning of something truly special – a connection that went beyond friendship, fueled by the magic of the WWE world and the genuine bond we had formed. 

"Euphoria"

I've decided to try a therapeutic series that is purely self-indulgent, but might resonate with some other peeps. This series is going to be very emotional and highly descriptive. Whilst containing a fair amount of smut, relates more to concepts of intimacy and self-loathing so please proceed at your own risk.

Triggers: 18+, smut, female reader, oral s@x, difficulty w/ orgasm, self-hatred, pic is a mood board only, attempt at Spanglish...

Accepting gentle feedback and requests :) Excited to take this series in an interesting, healing direction...

It had been about a month. You looked in the mirror, pouting as you ran your hands over your body. Failure. A month of sexy-time operations and you felt dry as a bone. Your friends had recommended all the latest literature, toys, lube and more, but the problem was you. You were always the problem. Not your dreamy boyfriend. If anything, he was the bright spot in a dark horizon of frustration. Endlessly patient, supportive and emotionally available, you were starting to wonder what you did to deserve him. Almost on cue, you caught a puppy dog expression nosing his way into the slightly ajar bathroom door.

“Occupied?” he mused, lightly drifting his fingers over your waist and eventually draping himself around you in a bear hug. You continued pouting at your reflection in the mirror. “That’s a lot of heavy sighing for a Saturday” he pondered, setting his chin on your shoulder teasingly.

He broke into a bit of a smirk, poking your rib, “Do we get to continue our weekend explorations? I know what an academic you are, and I’ve been doing some research…”

Your eyebrows raised quizzically as you twisted mid-hug to rest your hands on his chest. “Is there any way to make that NOT sound like porn?” you joked, resting your forehead on his sternum. You heard a soft rumble, breathing in a scent of cologne, nicotine and mint.  “I mean, that’s not the WORST idea I ever heard, but what do I need with porn when I’ve got such a beautiful guinea pig here in my bathroom?” You smiled into his chest, starting to sway together absentmindedly. 

“I know I’m not supposed to be apologizing…” you began, but didn’t get very far, before he gently lifted your chin up, coaxing your eyes to meet his. He ghosted his lips over yours and moved lower to nibbling your chin and dragging his lips over your neck. “Unless you’re sorry for making me miss the new episode of Euphoria, I’m not sure what we’re doing here…” he mumbled into your clavicle.

You gently pulled his face up with both hands to get a better look. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately, it doesn’t have anything to do with you.” He huffed in comical frustration, widening his stance so he could get nose to nose with you, “Nina impaciente…good things cum to those who wait…” You forced a tight lipped smile. 

“Honestly, I know I’ve said so before, but it’s not a race. It’s not like washing the dishes, hermosa.” You snorted into your hands, covering your face with embarrassment.  “Maybe if we took a little break, and just enjoyed ourselves? Movie? Cuddle?” he started swaying again, lulling you into submission. You brightened slightly at the suggestion. His eyes twinkled with recognition, “Snacks?” Sold.

Ten minutes later, you were piled up on the coach, in your pjs, popcorn in hand. “Thank God! I’ve been thinking about Euphoria for like a WEEK!” Pedro teased, as you tossed a handful of popcorn at his face. Somehow this man was forcing you to relax despite your own insecurities. How did he do that? You settled your feet on his lap, as he immediately began a gentle massage. “Let the suffering BEGIN!” he noted, grabbing the remote, eyes alight with interest. Your mouth began to twist in amusement at his golden retriever-like optimism. The lights of the tv flashed across his attentive expression. Such a nice profile, and his shoulders were so ridiculously broad. You felt a light throbbing as your womanhood tried to communicate through Morris Code. Shifting under the blankets, you pinched your legs together in protestation. 

“You okay over there?” a voice interrupted, now moving his thumb up your leg and resting on your thigh. “Just getting comfortable” you squeaked, confused at your body’s unpredictable reactions. The two of you had all but conjured spells and incantations to reach your now elusive climax, but that didn’t seem to dim your desire or confusion. “Why does she insist on TORTURING herself???” Pedro now exclaimed, throwing a gummy bear at the tv.

Why did she? Why does she? Your lower lip began to tremble involuntarily. It’s my body. Why can’t I force it into submission? Why is it so hard to surrender? A big fat, salty tear dripped down your face, now buttering your popcorn.

“Hey, hey…what’s happening over there? The episode hasn’t even started yet…” Pedro’s eyebrows wrinkled in concern as he reached over to catch the newly falling cascade. It was all too much, as your face distorted in pain, amid squeaks and sniffles. Cupping your face with both hands he pleaded quietly, “Please let me help, hermosa…” grabbing your waist and pulling your hiccuping body close to his. “Can we try things my way, please?” His weight was comfortingly boxing you in and anchoring you down. “I know you want to be a ‘wham bam thank you ma’am' kind of gal, but some of us need a little more coaxing…” he joked as you dissolved into a fit of giggles.

“I just don’t know what’s wrong with me” you acquiesced. 

“There’s nothing wrong with you. What we’re looking for is a different kind of ‘Euphoria’” he chided. Then, honest to God, the man booped you on the nose with his. Reaching over for the remote he silenced the tv, and interlacing his hand in yours, he locked eyes with you, slowly drawing you into the bedroom. “It’s time to take our time”.

This euphoric evening was eventually termed, “The Great Awakening” but it didn’t start out that way. As he seductively removed your oversized sweater you stood slightly shivering, awkwardly covering your breasts.

“Your audience is requesting more VIP access” he teased, dragging his fingers over your collarbone and down your sternum. Rolling your eyes comically you helped pull his white t-shirt up and over his head, revealing his smooth, honeyed skin. Moving his hands lower he pulled at your sweat pants to reveal a red lace thong you had desperately purchased at Victoria’s Secret. His mouth went slack in surprise. “What do we have here?” he rasped, cupping the orbs of your ass and bringing your hips dangerously close to his steadily hardening self.

“Clothes make the woman?” you sniffled, sighing heavily into his chest and resuming your characteristic couple’s sway.

“This time, a LACK of clothes may make the woman…” he joked, wrapping his arm around your waist and taking your hand in his. You felt yourself melt into his body as you swayed in a slow dance at the foot of the bed. Reaching down, you attempted to finger his boxer shorts, but he deftly maneuvered out of the way.

“No hermosa, we’re doing you this evening…all evening.” he whispered, now inches from your ear. Shuddering in his embrace, you tried to slow your breathing, closing your eyes. 

“That’s it…No more racing to the finish line, let the pleasuring begin…” he growled, setting you down on the bed and stroking one finger from the top of your forehead to the soft flesh of your inner thigh, where he started lightly kneading in circles. A shaky breath brought another shudder to your body as he began kissing your knees, thighs, hips and stomach. Drawing your hands above your head, he gently pinned you to the mattress, moving his knee just below your crotch. “I’m going to kiss you now, for an impossibly long time, so get a big breath…” he smiled, and before you could chuckle, he did just that. Tongue. Teeth. Lips. Warmth. Honeyed sweetness and moaning breaths. It was the exposition to a beautiful poem, tumbling verse upon verse. Interlocking lips, stuttering sighs, quick intake of air and hands, hands, hands. Hands everywhere, dripping down your side, feather light touch to your face. Palming your stomach and thumbing your belly button.

Your entire body bucked underneath him as you felt pools of desire gravitate downward. You gasped into his mouth as he massaged your breasts, pinching both nipples in a firm tease. He started licking into your mouth, coaxing moan after moan as you began to lose yourself in the rhythm. White noise. White hot. Searing white heat, as your mind went blank and your body writhed in ecstasy. You mewled like a child as his hands and mouth intentionally moved south, nibbling at your tits and sucking a quick trail from your sternum to your navel. 

Heavy lidded eyes flew open in confused distress as you propped yourself up on your forearms, “Wait, I’m not ready down there! She’s not…uh….trim…” you sputtered, trying to form a coherent sentence. It was nearly comical catching him with tongue poised and eyes wide as saucers. Quickly catching his breath he teased, “The best part of a treasure hunt is when sex marks the spot…”. Eyeing him with incredulity you were about to offer a quick retort until he licked a long stripe from the base of your fourchette all the way up to your clit…and you were gone. 

@talaok @undercoverpena @pedrorascal @bluebeary-jay @lokischocolatefountain @cavillscurls @javiscigarette @pedrostories @punkshort