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burntoutdaydreamer · 6 months

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Things That May Be Causing Your Writer's Block- and How to Beat Them

I don't like the term 'Writer's Block' - not because it isn't real, but because the term is so vague that it's useless. Hundreds of issues all get lumped together under this one umbrella, making writer's block seem like this all-powerful boogeyman that's impossible to beat. Worse yet, it leaves people giving and receiving advice that is completely ineffective because people often don't realize they're talking about entirely different issues.

In my experience, the key to beating writer's block is figuring out what the block even is, so I put together a list of Actual Reasons why you may be struggling to write:

(note that any case of writer's block is usually a mix of two or more)

Perfectionism (most common)

What it looks like:

You write one sentence and spend the next hour googling "synonyms for ___"

Write. Erase. Write. Rewrite. Erase.

Should I even start writing this scene when I haven't figured out this one specific detail yet?

I hate everything I write

Cringing while writing

My first draft must be perfect, or else I'm a terrible writer

Things that can help:

Give yourself permission to suck

Keep in mind that nothing you write is going to be perfect, especially your first draft

Think of writing your first/early drafts not as writing, but sketching out a loose foundation to build upon later

People write multiple drafts for a reason: write now, edit later

Stop googling synonyms and save that for editing

Write with a pen to reduce temptation to erase

Embrace leaving blank spaces in your writing when you can't think of the right word, name, or detail

It's okay if your writing sucks. We all suck at some point. Embrace the growth mindset, and focus on getting words on a page

Lack of inspiration (easiest to fix)

What it looks like:

Head empty, no ideas

What do I even write about???

I don't have a plot, I just have an image

Want to write but no story to write

Things that can help:

Google writing prompts

If writing prompts aren't your thing, instead try thinking about what kind of tropes/genres/story elements you would like to try out

Instead of thinking about the story you would like to write, think about the story you would like to read, and write that

It's okay if you don't have a fully fleshed out story idea. Even if it's just an image or a line of dialogue, it's okay to write that. A story may or may not come out of it, but at least you got the creative juices flowing

Stop writing. Step away from your desk and let yourself naturally get inspired. Go for a walk, read a book, travel, play video games, research history, etc. Don't force ideas, but do open up your mind to them

If you're like me, world-building may come more naturally than plotting. Design the world first and let the story come later

Boredom/Understimulation (lost the flow)

What it looks like:

I know I should be writing but uugggghhhh I just can'tttttt

Writing words feels like pulling teeth

I started writing, but then I got bored/distracted

I enjoy the idea of writing, but the actual process makes me want to throw my laptop out the window

Things that can help:

Introduce stimulation: snacks, beverages, gum, music such as lo-fi, blankets, decorate your writing space, get a clickity-clackity keyboard, etc.

Add variety: write in a new location, try a new idea/different story for a day or so, switch up how you write (pen and paper vs. computer) or try voice recording or speech-to-text

Gamify writing: create an arbitrary challenge, such as trying to see how many words you can write in a set time and try to beat your high score

Find a writing buddy or join a writer's group

Give yourself a reward for every writing milestone, even if it's just writing a paragraph

Ask yourself whether this project you're working on is something you really want to be doing, and be honest with your answer

Intimidation/Procrastination (often related to perfectionism, but not always)

What it looks like:

I was feeling really motivated to write, but then I opened my laptop

I don't even know where to start

I love writing, but I can never seem to get started

I'll write tomorrow. I mean next week. Next month? Next month, I swear (doesn't write next month)

Can't find the time or energy

Unreasonable expectations (I should be able to write 10,000 words a day, right????)

Feeling discouraged and wondering why I'm even trying

Things that can help:

Follow the 2 min rule (or the 1 paragraph rule, which works better for me): whenever you sit down to write, tell yourself that you are only going to write for 2 minutes. If you feel like continuing once the 2 mins are up, go for it! Otherwise, stop. Force yourself to start but DO NOT force yourself to continue unless you feel like it. The more often you do this, the easier it will be to get started

Make getting started as easy as possible (i.e. minimize barriers: if getting up to get a notebook is stopping you from getting started, then write in the notes app of your phone)

Commit to a routine that will work for you. Baby steps are important here. Go with something that feels reasonable: every day, every other day, once a week, twice a week, and use cues to help you remember to start. If you chose a set time to write, just make sure that it's a time that feels natural to you- i.e. don't force yourself to writing at 9am every morning if you're not a morning person

Find a friend or a writing buddy you can trust and talk it out or share a piece of work you're proud of. Sometimes we just get a bit bogged down by criticism- either internal or external- and need a few words of encouragement

The Problem's Not You, It's Your Story (or Outline (or Process))

What it looks like:

I have no problems writing other scenes, it's just this scene

I started writing, but now I have no idea where I'm going

I don't think I'm doing this right

What's an outline?

Drowning in documents

This. Doesn't. Make. Sense. How do I get from this plot point to this one?!?!?! (this ColeyDoesThings quote lives in my head rent free cause BOY have I been there)

Things That Can Help:

Go back to the drawing board. Really try to get at the root of why a scene or story isn't working

A part of growing as a writer is learning when to kill your darlings. Sometimes you're trying to force an idea or scene that just doesn't work and you need to let it go

If you don't have an outline, write one

If you have an outline and it isn't working, rewrite it, or look up different ways to structure it

You may be trying to write as a pantser when you're really a plotter or vice versa. Experiment with different writing processes and see what feels most natural

Study story structures, starting with the three act structure. Even if you don't use them, you should know them

Check out Ellen Brock on YouTube. She's a professional novel editor who has a lot of advice on writing strategies for different types of writers

Also check out Savage Books on YouTube (another professional story editor) for advice on story structure and dialogue. Seriously, I cannot recommend this guy enough

Executive Dysfunction, Usually From ADHD/Autism

What it looks like:

Everything in boredom/understimulation

Everything in intimidation/procrastination

You have been diagnosed with and/or have symptoms of ADHD/Autism

Things that can help:

If you haven't already, seek a diagnosis or professional treatment

Hire an ADHD coach or other specialist that can help you work with your brain (I use Shimmer; feel free to DM me for a referral)

Seek out neurodiverse communities for advice and support

Try body doubling! There's lot's of free online body doubling websites out there for you to try. If social anxiety is a barrier, start out with writing streams such as katecavanaughwrites on Twitch

Be aware of any sensory barriers that may be getting in the way of you writing (such as an uncomfortable desk chair, harsh lighting, bad sounds)

And Lastly, Burnout, Depression, or Other Mental Illness

What it looks like:

You have symptoms of burnout or depression

Struggling with all things, not just writing

It's more than a lack of inspiration- the spark is just dead

Things that can help:

Forget writing for now. Focus on healing first.

Seek professional help

If you feel like it, use writing as a way to explore your feelings. It can take the form of journaling, poetry, an abstract reflection of your thoughts, narrative essays, or exploring what you're feeling through your fictional characters. The last two helped me rediscover my love of writing after I thought years of depression had killed it for good. Just don't force yourself to do so, and stop if it takes you to a darker place instead of feeling cathartic

#writing #creative writing #writer problems #writing advice #writing community #writing a book #writing problems #novel writing #on writing #writing tips #writing help #writers on tumblr #writers block #female writers #writers of tumblr #writers blog #adhd writer

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tillthelandslide · 2 months

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Insufferable Arsehole Part 15: You

A/n: hi everyone! Feels so surreal to say but this is the penultimate chapter of insufferable arsehole *cries*. I love this series so much so please feel free to send in any requests you want to see from these characters. But the main series is nearly over *sobs*. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I love you all so much and thank you for all your support <3. I want to give a massive shout out to @ughgoaway and @justanamesstuff for loving this series as much as I do. Without all of your support (but especially my loving ia stans) this series would've been over a long time ago. I love you guys so much. Hope you enjoy <3

Extra note: I wrote all the little poems in the notebook part of this series. They're all original (whether you think they're shit or you like them) please don't copy them.

Previous Part

Series Masterlist

Matty’s POV

The sofa I'm lying on feels way too comfortable, the warmth of it making it hard for me to get up. It’s soft beneath me and it lures me into closing my eyes. I have things I need to do, I have people I need to call, meetings I need to attend, friends I need to make sure are okay, set lists to read and adjust. A wonderful and loving girlfriend who I need to show my love for. But lying here, listening to the soft strum of the guitar she's playing has my closed eyes fluttering and my body weighing down on the sofa. I don't fall asleep, I just lie with my eyes closed, letting her voice drift over me - consume me.

I had moments like these, moments where I felt... Numb. But she pulls me out of them, or at least fills my body with something other than numbness, she touches the parts that can't usually be persuaded on days like these. These moments were few and far between with the presence of Lou in my life and somehow it makes this time worse. I feel guilty for feeling this way, for feeling low, for slipping into a dark space. I shouldn’t be feeling like this, I had a wonderful girlfriend, I was finally with the girl meant for me. And I had friends, great friends who were more like family. I had adoring fans and I did what I felt like I was meant to for a living. Life was perfect… So why did I feel so unworthy of it all?

It had started earlier this morning when I had snapped at one of the music techs, I hadn't meant to and I felt guilty as soon as I did it. Her warm hand clamped around my shoulder almost immediately, telling me to go lie down and so I did. I heard her apologise for my actions, explaining that I was 'tired'. I felt thankful she didn't tell the guy the real reason. The guys understood it, maybe even more than Lou, so when she spoke to them before she came back to me, they got it. Jamie had once described me as someone with a huge ego but no self worth, in moments like these, I had to agree.

The sound of the guitar stops and I hear her set it down, I hear the shuffle of the foot stall, feel a light bump against the side of the sofa, feel her soft hand drifting up my back, up to my neck and then my head, pushing the curls away and making my eyes flutter open.

My heart beat falters, my breath matching it, her beautiful eyes look down at me, soothing me. It was hard to describe them, they were ever changing. I wouldn't say they were green, but they weren't blue or grey either, it was as if those colours alone weren't enough for someone like Lou, they weren't special or unique so whoever created her (I don't believe in God but some greater being had to create a person like her) decided to make a new colour, a combination of all things beautiful. They had hints of grey and specs of yellow and sometimes the sun made them look piercingly blue but the sun could also make them look like emeralds. They were perfect, one look into them and I can feel myself slipping from the dark spaces of my mind.

"Hi my sweet boy" it surprises me that I don't have to tell her what I need from her in times like these, she just got it. As if she had access to all parts of my brain, able to peek in and see what I needed and having the ability to just give it to me without a shred of hesitation or an ulterior motive. It shouldn’t surprise me, not anymore, not when I knew she was it for me, the only one I ever want to be with, to spend the rest of my life with. The person who was mine and I theirs.

"Hi" I don't recognise the voice that comes from me, a low, deep grumble of a sad man. One that felt like a distant memory, the voice of someone I used to know, not the person I am now.

"I want to show you something" she says and I find myself nodding, she places her black leather notebook in my lap and I find my heart beating three times as hard as I look at it. She had never shown me this before, showing someone this is like showing them your deepest thoughts and emotions, baring your soul to them. I had watched her scribble in it countless times, I had watched as she wrote lyrics that pulled her lips up at the corners, I had watched as she scribbled down angrily, tears falling from her eyes and coating the pages.

I remember the only time I had come close to reading the lyrics, pinning her down to a hotel bed in some forgotten location, tickling her sides until the book slipped from her fingertips, holding the pages above her head just out of reach as our laughter was all that could be heard. I remember the way she begged me to give it back, of course I would never have read it without her permission. I remember her pleas made me drop the book and bury my face into her neck. She made me forget about the lyrics easily, too wrapped up in her to care about them.

"Are you sure?" I ask, sitting up slightly so my back is against the armrest of the sofa, pulling the book towards me and playing with the frayed edges. She smiles at me, her hand resting against my jaw, her thumb running over her bone, making my eyes flutter momentarily.

"Sometimes I think you forget how much you mean to people, you forget how much people love you... And not just me, the band and the crew, your family, my family, the fans... Of course I can only speak for myself... So I want you to read this" she speaks, voice soft and delicate. Beautiful.

I want to speak. To tell her I love her. To thank her. I want to smile. To press my lips against hers. But my eyes won't leave the book.

"most of them aren't finished... They're not songs... They're just things I wrote, little poems" she says and I nod, looking up from the book.

"I love you Matty" she says, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to my forehead before leaving me. It takes a while for me to open the book, scared of what I'll find. My shaky hands eventually separate the cover from the first page.

I find a few I recognise, like the one she posted on Instagram, the one I loved:

"I'd stay with you here forever, you with those dark eyes and darker hair, the epitome of beauty, you put Adonis to shame, with the way you paint my brain, with everything that is you, you with those dark eyes and darker hair. The epitome of beauty."

Her handwriting is delicate, cursive and, for a lack of a better word, beautiful. I'm not surprised because everything she does is beauty. She is beauty.

I flick through the pages, little photos taped to the corners or wedged in, the photos make my heart swell. Photos of her and G, one in particular making me smile: a photo of Lou sitting on George's shoulders, looking as if she was scared to fall down, but she's laughing and so is George and his hands are clamped on her thighs that rest around his head ensuring she doesn't fall. A picture of her and Ross, pulling funny faces at each other, they both look younger, Ross’ hair is short and Lou’s is too, I wish I had her like that back then, even now, even still - I regret the time we lost. I find a picture she took of me, her thighs resting either side of my waist as she takes a photo from above, I feel like a different person than the one smiling up at me. I see another one taken in a photo booth, one where we're kissing, it makes me smile.

I read on, my heart slowly being refilled with love and beauty and kindness and feeling.

I could bask in you for endless days and endless nights. For you are the sun that shines and glistens. For you are the one that warms my once cold heart and bones.

You're the sun in winter, warming up bones and creating smiles. You're rain on a summer's day, soaking the sweat away. You're all things good and kind and lovely. You're love and sex and beauty. You're the definition of passion. Cigarettes and coffee and fresh and home. You're my favourite scent. My favourite sound. My favourite sight. My favourite thought. My favourite feeling. You touch me and I feel you everywhere. Burying into my being. You're mine. My favourite scent. Cigarettes, coffee, fresh, home. My home.

I loved the complexity of some but simply adored the simplicity of others. Reading the ones which don't hide behind metaphors, they're purer somehow.

Pain engraved my brain. Hurt twisted through my mind. Envy soaked through my eyes. You appeared , all those emotions vanished. I began to love the way you loved me. I found myself loving you more. I used to hate you, I hated hating you. I love you now, I love loving you and I love you loving me.

I smile, a huge smile and I feel it seep through my bones, warming my cold body, feeling finally flooding back in.

Red lips and brown eyes. Black curls and tattooed skin. I'd like to paint in you in my mind so I could have you here forever

The few words are the only ones on this particular page, the rest is filled with pictures of us, a picture of the M necklace I gave her, a picture of my marked neck, her marks. There's a picture of us kissing, ones in which any other circumstance would cause my skin to heat up and my blood to rush south. There’s sweet pictures too, of us in Rome, our hands intertwined, pictures of our tattoos we got together.

The ropes within unwind under your command. Just say the word and I'll follow you to the ends of the earth.

Matty is sun kissed cheeks on summer days, cherry blossom on withered ground, swirling clouds amongst technicolour skies.

I turn the page and a larger piece of paper falls out, I unfold it carefully, taking my time in reading the words I find on the page:

Dear George,

I’m writing to you from Rome. Seems a bit weird to be writing you a letter knowing I’m going to be seeing you soon. Was feeling nostalgic I guess… Remember the days when we were both on tour and we’d write these big long letters to each other from wherever in the world we were. It was such a pain trying to make sure they were sent to you before you left that city or town. I remember us arguing one day because Jamie had complained about the amount of money he kept having to spend to retrieve the letters when had arrived a little too late. Grumpy sod.

Anyway, you’d usually write about how the tour was going, how Matty had been getting on your nerves. I always wondered whether you just said that to make me feel better for not getting on with your best friend. You’d send me pictures of you with Ross and Hann and I’d send you pictures of me and the girls (usually receiving a text from you or Macdonald after that made me want to hit you around the head - pervs)

Strange how different things seem now. Like now for instance - I'm writing this, by the pool (this place is fucking huge, you and Charli would love it here), Matty’s napping next to me. He’s sleeping with this dopey grin and… I love him George. So much. Please don’t try to cringe too much reading this. His skin isn’t as pale anymore. Shock right? Our pale boy has a tan!

I want to thank you G. Thank you for everything. You’ve been the best friend I could have ever asked for… but thank you for bringing me him. Matty is everything George. The way he loves me is nothing I have ever felt before. I know now that everything up until now is worth it because now I have him.

I can’t help but wonder how I ever could have hated him. He cares so deeply for every one G… sometimes I wonder if it's too much, if he’s going to get hurt in the end. But that’s okay. Because he has me. And he has you and the boys. And together we love him deeply (still probably half as much as he loves us). I’m going to spend every day of my life proving to him that he is worthy.

So thank you George. He’s the love of my life. He owns my heart, now and forever.

Your best friend - Lou x

My heart picks up in my chest, I love her, more than anyone I have ever loved in my life. I feel tears fall from my eyes, coating my cheeks. I swipe them away before they have a chance to hit the pages.

But you... It was different with you

That's my favourite, my fingers find the page and I carefully tear the page out, I fold it gently and tuck it into my pocket.

I stand from the sofa, feeling weightless now, feeling love for her in every fibre of my being. I walk around the venue, trying to find her. I find George who smiles at me widely.

"glad to see you perked up a bit" he says with a hand to my shoulder.

"Where's Lou?" My abruptness takes him back but it doesn't stop him from answering. I appreciate that.

"She's with your mum in the kitchen, they're baking" George clearly sees my shocked face and he chuckles "yeah your mum is here" I hug him tightly before I leave him, heading for the kitchen.

My legs move too quickly for my brain to register but I don't care, I need to find her. My mum spots me before Lou does and she smiles widely.

"Hello Matthew, feeling any better?" She asks, Lou looks up at me as she finishes speaking.

"Explained to your mum that you were feeling a little tired" Lou explains and I nod, smiling at her.

"Much better mum, thank you" I say leaning down to place a peck against her cheek.

Lou's hands are covered in flour and it makes me smile. I squeeze past my mother with a gentle "excuse me" . My hands find Lou's waist and I hitch her up, making her smile.

"Matty put the poor woman down" my mother scolds me but I don't stop. Lou's hands find my shoulders as she feels like she's going to fall.

"I've got flour on your shirt now idiot" she says but she's still smiling. She looks down at me and I see everything in her eyes, every emotion, every indication that she loves me. I love her, god do I love you.

"I don't care, come here" I say, one hand finding her chin and lightly pulling her towards me.

"Matty, your mum" she says, eyes flicking over my shoulder to my mum who giggles to herself, busying herself with the baking..

"I. Don't. Care" I say with the widest smile I think has ever graced my features.

"What has gotten into you?" She asks, smiling widely. Her eyes sparkle. God she's beautiful.

"I love you Lou, so much, you're everything. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you, if that's okay with you" I say, I hear my mum coo behind us and Lou smiles above me, her legs wrapping around my waist to support herself more.

"Fine with me Healy" she says, leaning down to press her lips against mine finally. The kiss is kept short to save my mother seeing us in a compromising position.

"But you, it was different with you" I repeat her own words back to her and she nods.

"Yeah..." She says and I see her eyes well with tears, I feel myself copying her, placing her back on the floor but moving my head down to kiss her again. I hold her to my side as I turn to my mother.

"I'll leave you both to bake," I say, pressing a firm kiss to her cheek, smiling at my mother. .

"Okay" she says with a smile. I hug my mum tightly before I walk out, but I don't miss my mother's words

"That boy is obsessed with you, I've never ever known him to love someone as much as you" she says.

"Trust me, the same goes for him. I'd do anything for him" Lou's words make me smile and so I continue walking.

I find George again, happy to find him with Hann and Ross.

"Good you're all here" I say, drawing their attention towards me.

"Everything okay mate?" Ross asks and I smile as I nod.

"I need your help"

"Anything," George says.

"I'm going to ask Lou to marry me" they all smile widely at me, I like that. My eyes flick to George’s. He seems expressionless for a second.

“If that’s okay with you” I ask, I see George’s lip quiver slightly and his fingers grip his bottom lip as he nods. I see tears coat his eyes as he steps forward, grabbing my hand in his and pulling me forward into a hug.

“Fuck yeah” I find myself crying too. I feel two more sets of arms wrapping around us. I smile.

Taglist: @scooby-doodoo @thereisaplaceintheheart @promocodesorry75 @eaglestar31 @thefrontofmymind @fallingforel @partoftheairforce @procrastinatinglikeapro @poisonmedaddy13 @xthe1975 @all-things-fic @jstbeeingme @rossgirly @juliardk @you-muppet @moodyyyychickx @k4tie75 @insidemymind19 @zzzhealy @maybeiwouldlikeyou @at-her-very-foreign @not-alien-girl-v @sinarainbows @friedlandblog @momentum2023 @youlooklikeshitandyousmellabit @Inhalerbea (add yourself using the link in my bio 😊, those with a line through are the ones i couldn’t tag)

#insufferable arsehole matty healy series #the 1975 #matty healy #the 1975 fanfic #matty healy x reader #matty healy fanfic #matty healy fanfiction #matty the 1975 #matty healy fic #matty healy fluff #matty healy imagine #matty healy smut #matty x reader #matty healy x oc #the 1975 smut

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mizu-nights · 2 months

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♬ now playing: "you're blushing!"

-> perhaps some 'harmless flirting' isn't so harmless after all . . .

★ — chars ; ichika , airi , saki , tsukasa

★ — notes ; I HAVE NOW OFFICIALLY WRITTEN FOR EVERY PJSK CHAR!!!!! hoping nobody is SUPER ooc here......... prompt list can be found here >0< REQS WILL OPEN IN A FEW DAYSSSS WEHEHEHE

★ — warnings ; reader being flirty (ichika), hospital and saki's backstory mentioned once, established relationship (saki)

★ — requested by ; none

★ — taglist ; @akitosheart , @mintchocaur (tsukasa!!)

affiliated with @virtualbookstore ★

★ hoshino ichika :

it started off simple: ichika being her usual self, complimenting how you looked today. she was always the type of person to praise people for certain aspects, and you always thanked her for it, but today, you wanted to try something different.

"aww, you're such a sweetie, ichika, you know that?"

the tone of your voice had teasing written all over it, which stunned the girl that was standing right before you. she managed to fix her composure after a moment or two, nodding her head and smiling at you.

"ah... thank you, [name]-"

"not to mention pretty."

just like that, ichika was starstruck once more, only this time with a light blush spreading around her cheeks. her gaze darted around the room, stuttering and spamming while avoiding eye contact at all costs.

"oh, did i fluster you?"

"well... i'm..."

... seems like you broke her. perhaps if you tried a more... physical approach, you might just make her melt.

★ momoi airi :

making a girl like airi blush is very worth it. considering her personality, she acts absolutely adorable whenever you successfully fluster her!

but... what if it's the other way around for once?

you had asked airi to help teach you certain dance moves from more more jump songs, and surprisingly, she agreed!

and for today, she decided to teach you how she danced 'romeo and cinderella'!

"then, for this part, we have to get close to each other like this..."

she pointed to her and shizuku in the music video. at the moment, it seemed easy. just some arm movements and looking at each other, right?

"mhm, got it, got it."

wrong. you were a complete mess when you were actually doing it. this whole practice was just supposed to be for fun... and now you're-

"[name], are you blushing?"

"what..? no way, it's just the cold!"

"yeah. sure."

there was an awkward silence for a moment, with your face turning redder and redder by the second. eventually, airi spoke again, with an amused tone to her voice.

"you look cute, by the way."

"you're making it worse."

★ tenma saki :

considering saki was always at the hospital as a child, she never really got to try a few things. and of course, you wanted to show your girlfriend some of your favorites!

there was a brand new ice cream shop that opened, with dozens of flavors to choose from! and you'd be a fool not to bring her.

"saki, you've got some ice cream on your cheek..."

you giggle, watching your adorable girlfriend eat her ice cream so happily. despite how silly she looked, you couldn't help but fall for her even more.

"hehe... could you help remove it for me, sweetie?"

with such a simple request, how could you ignore it? but why wipe it off normally when you can help her in a special way, right?

you giggle and nod, now leaning in and making it seem like you'll use a tissue, but instead, you surprise her by kissing her on the cheek. maybe not as effective as wiping with a tissue, but so much cuter.

... which earned the even more adorable sight of your lover having this red hue to her face.

"are you alright, saki? you look a little..."

"i'm fine!"

you caught the poor girl off-guard, but... you really can't help it with how cute she looks like this.

★ tenma tsukasa :

rambling sessions with tsukasa aren't uncommon. your minds always seem connected—you say one thing, he agrees and says another... an endless cycle.

this time was... a different case, however.

it happened as it normally did. one of you initiated a topic, then both you kept yapping, yapping, and yapping... until tsukasa suddenly went quiet. not that you noticed, you were too busy talking about something that had piqued your interest.

that was until you noticed tsukasa stopped talking, though. instead of hearing his voice, laughing and agreeing with you, you were met with an adoring gaze from the boy in front of you.

"...stoooop, you're making me all..."

"hm? all what?"

but he was genuinely curious! he really had no clue what you were talking about, and you weren't helping by being so mysterious about it!

a light pink fills your cheeks, and once the future star right in front of you notices, he can't help but match with you.

"you, uh... i didn't mean make you- i mean..."

this was new. sure, he gets flustered around you at times, but to this extent? a sight to behold indeed.

"you're blushing."

"so are you!?"

#virtualnetwork #ichika hoshino #ichika hoshino x reader #saki tenma #saki tenma x reader #airi momoi #airi momoi x reader #tsukasa tenma #tsukasa tenma x reader #pjsk #project sekai #pjsk x reader #project sekai x reader #★ — you are my literature

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oneforthemunny · 11 months

Note

An emotional thought, but what about Nepo Baby and Eddie accidentally missing an important event. Usually they’re on top of it, making sure they get to everything they can for the girls. But today was falling apart, from Seph ripping her jeans, Kensie getting in a fight with Sienna, Sicily accidentally running out of gas on the side of the road and Vega coloring on her walls, Eddie and Nepo are on their last straw. When they sit down to eat, Seph comes in and asks why they’re at dinner and they’re confused. With her chronic older sister syndrome, she tells them they forgot about Zarah’s science fair.

They run as fast as they can to the school, but a teacher cleaning up says she did excellent and she won first place. The teacher has to also has to give her the printed photos of her acceptance and, sadly, gives her the parent-student copy that has her with her best friend and their parents in it. The teacher says she was very nonchalant and said it’s okay and that her sisters probably had something, that it’s not a surprise and is getting dinner with their family.

They go to the car, feeling so bad that the one time Zarah wanted them there, they weren’t. Not only did she win and they didn’t get to see or support her, she said she wasn’t surprised. It’s hurts even more knowing that she didn’t mean it maliciously, she is just so easy going.

Zarah gets home and they’re immediately apologizing, but she’s so understanding, saying it’s okay. As much as the other girls lashing outs drive them crazy, this is one time they wish Zarah would just scream in their face. They make sure to take her on a special trip with just her, doing whatever she’d like to do and also have her redo her award winning project for the family.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

fine. you started this non, but I'm going to make it worse. hope you guys like SOBBING!

so it wasn't a science fair, it's a recital. a musical, talent show type recital. she'd been practicing with eddie for weeks, he'd been showing her how to play the guitar, then she'd go practice in private. she wanted the song she performed to be a secret, a surprise.

you had it marked on your calendar for weeks. made sure your assistant knew, your parents, everyone. you were so proud of zarah and so excited.

then came the week from hell.

your assistant got the flu. you and eddie had to balance swapping off the kids, and it was a fucking nightmare.

sienna and kensie decided this would be the week that they went to war with each other about a fucking pair of shoes, and who was the rightful owner.

persephone was in nyc for business for her new brand, sicily ran out of gas on the side of the road and got hounded by paparazzi. you told kensie to drop zarah off, kissing her head and telling her you'd see her later, looking over the fact that she was dressed up and bouncing on her toes. it slipped your mind today was the recital.

eddie didn't come back with sicily until hours later, on edge and fuming. the paps, the tow truck, the type that he told sicily to fucking get gas before she left. you weren't much better. you'd had to break up the fight between kensington and sienna, taking the shoes and throwing them in the trash. while you were dealing with that, vega decided that she needed to unleash her artistic talents on the world... in the form of scribbling all over the walls.

you were near tears, beyond frustrated, tension so high by the time eddie got home. vega wailing loudly in the corner, sicily stomping up stairs, and eddie already reaching for another cigarette at the piercing sound of vega's loud, exaggerated cries.

the phone rang, shrill and cutting through the house. you huffed, halting your scrubbing to glare at eddie. "can you get that?" you grit, glaring at him.

he huffed, looking at the phone on the receiver. "it's your mother." he snapped with an eye roll.

you scrubbed the wall again with the magic eraser sponge, sure your manicure was ruined- you could add that to the list of things you would need to get done. "just ignore it. I'll call her later."

then it rang again. this time, she left a message.

"button, where are you at?" her hushed, nasally tone cut through the machine, background music loud even over the phone. "zarah is about to go on. daddy is with her back stage but she's asking for eddie. please tell me you're almost here. honestly, this is so mortifying."

you gasped, the sound tearing from your lungs. "oh my god." you held your hands over your mouth, heart plummeting while you looked at eddie.

"shit, shit, shit. let's go! now! everybody! down here right now! let's go!" eddie boomed up the stairs, snatching his keys then scrambling to scoop vega up from the chair in the corner. she fought against him, still upset at being put into the dreaded corner, but he ignored her, putting her in her carseat as quickly as he could.

you wrangled the other girls out to the car. "we forgot zarah's recital." you snapped when kensie started to whine about not being dressed. "get in the car now."

they filed in, all equally as quiet- guilty. the car was silent, except for the occasional barking yell from eddie to other cars and vega's whiney sniffles.

you tore into the school like a bat out of hell, eddie's tires screeching when he pulled up to the front of the school, turning on his hazards, before you all bounded up the stairs towards the school's auditorium.

you heard applause as you opened the door, hopeful that zarah was about to go on, that you made it- until you saw your daughter, bowing with the guitar that was all too big for her, scanning the crowd- for you.

your dad stood off the side of the stage, and you could see him hug her in the wings. your heart shattered, a gut punch sickening feeling. he had never been there for anything of yours, late to your graduation, your wedding. yet, they were here when you weren't for your baby- when you forgot. the one thing on earth you swore you'd never do.

eddie looked at you hesitantly, seeing the wobble in your lip before you could even register it. vega was still fussing in kensie's arms, sicily and sienna uncomfortable with the tension.

"take your sister out to the car, alright? just park it and we'll be right there, kens." eddie muttered, pulling you gently down the hall towards backstage.

you pushed yourself through the makeshift dressing room until you saw your father and zarah. "zarah, baby," you called, pushing through the crowds to get to her.

your father's eyes cut to you, cold and unimpressed, but that was nothing compared to the sorrowful, rounded brown eyes of your eleven year old shining at you in defeat. you were sure you were going to be sick now.

"zarah, I am so sorry. we tried to get here and-and it-"

"it's alright." zarah nodded gently, sweetly, like she wanted to comfort you. your heart tore.

"no, it's not. it's not alright, and I am so sorry, baby." you sucked in a deep breath to keep yourself from crying. "did mom record it?" you asked, looking up at your father hopefully.

"no," he seethed coldly, stern and stone glare like he couldn't believe you'd done this, hypocritical at best, but it didn't make you feel any worse. "she though you both would be here."

eddie's fist balled, turning away to compose himself. he hated victor, wanted to scream at him that he had no fucking room to talk, break his jaw for making you feel bad. he was angry, angry at himself for missing this. they'd practiced for weeks, talked about it for weeks. she'd been so excited to surprise the two of you and now... you missed it.

"but-but the school records it, right?" you asked hopefully. "ed, go see if you can ask one of the teacher's if we could get a copy, please. we'll watch it all together, and-and you can perform it for all of us, and-"

"it's ok." zarah mumbled sadly. "there's another one in a few weeks and...maybe you could be at that one and see me?"

you felt your face crumble at the question, the final straw after this entire shit show of a day. your sweet baby, zarah, was already so quiet so calm, shadowed by the loud personalities of her sisters. you and eddie held a fair amount of fear that she would feel overlooked, that any of your girls would feel like you didn't have time for them- like your parents made you feel. you'd been so tedious about making sure you attended everything, spent time with them, equally. all that work was gone now, blown up in your face after one bad day.

eddie placed a hand on your shoulder, soothing and calming, while he crouched in front of zarah. "zar, we'll be there, baby. I'll camp out int he auditorium the night before to get front row seats for you." his chest loosened a little at her lips pulling in the corners, the faintest smile. "we're sorry, zarah. we didn't mean to miss it."

"I know." zarah nodded calmly, understandingly. somehow this wss worse.

you'd kill for her to screech and cry like kensie or vega, to call you the worst mother like sephy, or be furious enough to give the silent treatment like the twins. this was worse somehow, made you feel guiltier and guiltier.

you hugged her close to your chest, muttering apologies into her soft hair, more of a comfort to yourself than anyone else.

your parents glared at you, judging glares at the dinner, while they raved about how great zarah was- how they were there to see it.

eddie watched how you shrunk down, so consumed by guilt, by your own shortcomings and trauma. the girls saw it too, guilty that they'd caused it, that they took away from their sister with their own stupid things. zarah's sad little eyes, even though she tried to brush it off. like she was used to it.

it made eddie's stomach churn.

"excuse me," eddie grumbled, pushing back from the table. "I'll be right back."

you didn't acknowledge it, listening to the praises your parents poured out to zarah, trying not to flinch at every hurled backhanded insult towards you.

eddie stood outside, phone pressed to his ear, finsihing a cigarette. "you name your price, I'll pay it alright." he said easily into the phone. "I don't care. whatever they want. I'll call my manager as soon as I get off with you and I'll have it sent, cashed, a check, whatever."

he came back, seeing your parents still chatting and bragging. "oh, we should take you out for something special, zar. a real treat. you deserve it." the sneer on your mother's face made you feel sick.

"actually. I have a surprise for us." eddie snapped. "if you're up for it, zar."

she nodded softly, eddie's dimpled grin spreading over his cheeks. "great. let's go." he grabbed vega out of her highchair.

"where are we going, ed?" you whispered, eyes cutting to the girls behind you.

"I got it handled." eddie nodded.

"what? got what handled-"

"I've got it handled." eddie nodded, pulling the door open to let the girls file in.

"edward," your mother chirped. "what on earth are you doing?"

"tana, victor, I can't thank you enough for everything today. it means so much. the girls are lucky to have you." eddie said smoothly. "I mean, I'm sure you know how busy things can get as parents. how hard it is to keep up with everything all the time."

tana scoffed. your eyes narrowed. "I hardly think-"

"mom, you didn't even show up to my graduation." you snapped, in a low voice that made her eyes bulge. "and while I do appreciate you being here for zarah, you have no room to judge anyone."

tana blubbered while victor gave you a disapproving look. eddie smirked at you lightly, shutting the car door. "thanks again!" he waved, tearing out of the parking lot.

you were shocked when eddie pulled back into the school, turning to look at your girls. "did you forget something?" you mumbled to him.

"nope." eddie said cooly. "get your stuff. sicily help zarah get her guitar."

"dad, what are we doing?" kensie asked, brows furrowed in confusion at eddie.

the headmaster opened the door, waving at eddie politely. "baby, can you get the girls?" eddie turned to you. "'m gonna help zar tune up."

your face flashed in confusion before softening. "eddie, are you serious?" you muttered. "how did you-"

"martin's got it." eddie nodded cooly. "they don't mind. I promise, but they were nice enough to come back, so ya know. don't take forever." he grinned, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

"c'mon, zar-zar," eddie held the small guitar case, hand extending for her to take, walking up the stairs.

you weren't sure how eddie managed to do this. how he got the number of the headmaster and convinced him to let you back into the school, set up again so you could see the show. you assumed the addition built on to the library months later was probably a result of it, but it didn't matter.

spotlight on, sound and lighting, and even the headmaster introducing zarah like before- as if she wasn't the only one there.

you sat on the third row, wanting to see her as best you could.

"next, we have zarah munson performing 'slipping through my fingers' a rendition done on the acoustic guitar." the headmaster bowed out, and you all clapped loudly from your seats when she walked across the stage.

she blushed, giving that sweet, shy smile you always cooed at when she sat at her bench. the piano started and she started strumming the guitar, the harmony to the song.

you felt the tears fall, too overwhelmed to wipe them. zarah chose to sing abba's slipping through my fingers, a good song, yes; but it was the song you always sang to her. when she was a baby, a toddler, when she had nightmares, or just when you felt like humming it. especially after her mama mia! obsession, you switched from abba to meryl streep's version, but it was your song for zarah.

she bowed, and the clapping and screaming from the seven of you in the theater rivaled the full audience from before. loud and cheering, whooping while zarah beamed, a warm light coming back to her.

you still felt horrible, guilty, even after the entire thing. the next recital, eddie was true to his fucking word. he was there at eight am. dropped the girls off and sat front row with the crew while they set up.

#oneforthemunny #munnytalks #rockstar!eddie munson #rockstar!eddie munson x nepo baby!reader #dad!rockstar!eddie munson #dad!eddie x mom!reader #dad!eddie munson

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studentbyday · 3 months

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30 days of intentionality

starting this challenge with the goal of taking it one day at a time. i have a hard time doing that these days. i spend more time ruminating on the past or worrying about the future than staying in the present, even if that's when i'm most content. not sure how i'll format my posts and most likely, i'll only do weekly updates bc daily ones are too overwhelming. i'll just go with the flow, trying to trust that everything will end up as it's meant to be and maybe i'll be more productive as focusing primarily on the present moment becomes a habit.

---

1. suo gân (arr. john williams for the ambrosian junior choir): i believe that if everyone lived by the idea of global citizenship and so saw the humanity in every individual from every background, there would be no war. reading the news fills me with fear, sorrow, and anxiety, but i also feel the responsibility to stay informed. did some studying today, more than yesterday, but it was kind of uncomfortable with the state of global politics lurking in the back of my mind. i'm still a little behind on school.

2. souvenir de paganini (chopin): today is not so bad. i'm making progress academically, but i do need to make time for social activities soon or i will get lonely and lose what little motivation i have very quickly.

3. once upon a december (arr. emile pandolfi): sometimes in the face of events and issues much bigger than myself that i have no control over, i feel like my dreams are pointless bc i think there's no way achieving them or trying to achieve them could possibly empower me to make real and important change that can truly benefit many. who knows if the future would even allow me to get that far. there are many things that could change the course of our lives that we don't have control over. but if others in worse situations than me and others much better informed than me can still have hope, then so can i. i didn't do much other than pharmacology and a little bit of philosophy today. i made more progress in pharmacology than expected, but that's only bc i didn't do any psych work. i also earned a few more mastery points on khan academy's integrated math 1 (not a priority, i know, but i wanted an easy win) and started lab tasks. i'm far from done with that, i need to do a little every day... i don't want to let them down! 🥺 (note to self: lying in bed is maybe NOT a good study break activity bc that just makes me not wanna do anything else after that and it's very very very hard to get out of that procrastination rut once i let myself fall into it.) 4. let's stay together (al green): everything should be going well, except i'm easily overwhelmed, and this time, it wasn't in an openly frazzled way, it was in a tired and slightly defeated "what's the point?" way, so i didn't realize it as quickly as i usually do. after some bed rest, cuddles 🧸, listening to steve jobs' commencement speech, and a little yoga, i felt better. "You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future." was something i didn't know i needed to hear today. i modified my to-do list and found that the list of things i "must do" was nearly as long as the list of things i "want to do" 😅

5. kreutzer sonata, movt. 1 (beethoven): pretty sure i've mentioned some of these songs before but...they really fit the mood! sometimes i feel things so strongly that i develop a tightening in my chest that can only be relieved in a scream... since i can't actually scream and i don't actually really like the physical feeling of it, i scream through exercise and music 😅 beethoven is very nice for when i'm feeling very annoyed or angry, especially if it's an anxious kind of angry or if it's anger at injustice/inequality. i can't find a piano solo version that does the fiery spirit of the violin justice. so in the vague future when i actually play this, either i try (and perhaps fail) to replicate that on the piano, or i find a violinist friend who would want to play with me 😅 right now though, imagining how i would physically create that sound on the piano will have to be enough. the prevailing thought/feeling of the day: sometimes i just really wanna believe in the good in people and believe that i can trust (some of) them. i long for that feeling of safety in a broader irl community that i actually belong in. i'm surprised by how often i long for it. but then my negativity is reinforced by news and people's opinions on it.

6. violin sonata no. 1 in g minor, bwv 1001 (j.s. bach): stuff was done. i felt calm/chill throughout the day, but even tho i feel good whenever that happens, it usually means i don't get an extraordinary amount of things done that day (lol since when do i ever). i'm not sure if it's enough, as there is still lots to do and i'm pretty sure that it's just wishful thinking that i'll achieve all my goals for this week by its end. i need to cut down my goals list to the realistic rather than idealistic version as always (school, lab, and basic self-maintenance tasks) 😅 gaawwwdd i hope i can do this...good night.

7. waltz in a minor, b. 150 (chopin): today and yesterday i have been able to keep my phone time under an hour. the days are blissful (if not at least calmer) and focused. 📚

8. only mine (laufey): cuddles in bed while listening to laufey is so soothing 🧸 takes me back to my childhood listening to lullabies in the dark 🥺 motivation to study is hard to find today. i just want to relax 🥺 i'll just do one tiny thing and see where i wanna go from there...

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artist-issues · 8 months

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What do you think about Disney's Wish?

Predictions:

The movie will be an eye-candy with beautiful 2D and 3D. (But going by the trailer it's not as impressive as the Puss in Boots the Last Wish or Spiderverse. We need a better name for that animation style. How about 2/3D? ZED? I don't know.)

The music will be great. (But after listening to the song from the trailer that is supposed to be the ''I want song'', oh my God the lyrics are so generic and bland they can fit practically any main character ever. And it's just a lot of singing about nothing.)

The Star character, Valentino or both will be annoying.

Valentino will be funny and marketable but the movie could've worked without him.

The world will be huge, beautiful, and interesting and we explore none of it.

The protagonist will be bland with one obvious flaw or a dream which will be related to the message of the movie.

The message will have all the subtlety of the hammer in the face.

Inconsistencies, contradictions, and random stuff happening because funny/the plot.

References to older classics that you wish you would be watching. (You saw how many references they cram now into their other movies? And now it's one of the things they talked about the most!)

Death is funny until we have the fake-out death then you need to care.

No love interest because love makes women weak apparently. Or no love interest because the actress is a lesbian and she talked about how Asha ''looks like her'' because modern acting isn't about pretending to be something you're not, it's about showing who you are every chance you get. And for those who think they might make a lesbian love interest, I would like you to take a look at the gay ''romance'' in the Strange World. But if by some chance they do I doubt it will be any good. When was the last romance in Disney, Frozen 2 (2018) and that's a holdover from the first movie (2013) and the last good romance was Tangled (2010).

Lame villain! It's supposed to be a throwback to the older Disney movies and that includes its villains but Disney is so incompetent with their IPs I wouldn't be surprised if they get their own villain ''formula'' wrong. I swear if they try to make him a twist after spoiling that Chris Pine will be voicing the villain and his evil laugh in the teaser trailer, or ''redeem'' him after he did unspeakable evils. And no villain song. Can Chris Pine sing? Please no terrible auto-tune!

Making jabs at old Disney tropes even tho this movie isn't even half as good as the movies that came before it, uses a bunch of other modern tropes or straight up the same ones that it mocked earlier and completely misinterprets them and uses them even worse! Modern Disney seems to hate its past and does everything to show how ''better'' they are now. Which is untrue in most cases and just smug and annoying!

I'm sorry for being so pessimistic but that's how jaded I become and only towards Disney. It might be their greatest hit that will make people think ''Disney is back''. But Disney needs to change. One good movie will not save them if they keep making remakes that lose money.

I don't know; some of the things you've listed are likely, but I doubt all of them will be true!

I think the animation looks...unfinished. Isn't that odd? It looks like there's not a lot to fill in the scene, and what is there didn't get done rendering.

See these are pretty, but there just isn't a lot going on in the backgrounds--it's very icon-y. Maybe they're going for a storybook-look, but...a very minimalist, simple storybook? Not like Snow White:

Or Pinocchio

I can see that there are 2D textures on the trees and grass and stuff, but I wish there was just more there. Like all these pots and all the stonework in the background, in the screenshots from classic Disney above. Where’s the stuff; it would look even better if there was stuff. You know usually when Disney tries a new technique or look, they show it off. In Moana, they’re like we animated water, and as a result, we are going to show you SO MUCH WATER. In Tangled, they were like, we nailed the hair, and as a result you get to see Rapunzel’s hair do SO MUCH. In Wish it looks like the artists were shy about showing off the painterly stuff. But I’m no expert.

I really agree about the music. Like I really agree. I have only heard snippets. But I remember seeing the trailers for Frozen when a little bit of the music would play and immediately wanting to hear more. Looking it up like “Frozen trailer music” because just the snippet was enough. In this movie, I like the trailer until she starts singing, and then for some reason my whole brain rolls it’s eyes. Why does it do that for this movie? I love Disney music. I listen to Disney Princess Christmas album every season even though it’s not amazing, because I just like hearing characters sing. So why should I be exasperated by new feature-film Disney music, even if it does sound just like the others? I don’t know. I am not a music expert, either; I’m just telling you who I am (a Disney lover) and how inexplicably I reacted to Wish’s little music thing. Chris Pine can sing, but just like everything he does: he sounds like Chris Pine singing.

I think you’re right about Valentino; I don’t know if that’s a fair criticism, though. The Little Mermaid could’ve worked without Flounder. Mulan could’ve worked without Cri-Kee. Cinderella could’ve worked without Jacques. Moana absolutely did work without Pua. But in the new movie’s trailer I did feel like, “this feels like a pointless character.” Don’t know why.

The world actually looks empty to me. See points about the art style above. I don’t want to explore what I’ve seen of it, because it looks like an unfinished Open-World game that someone wants me to stream walkthroughs of on YouTube, and I’m like “no thank you, that looks boring.” But maybe that’ll be the point. Maybe in the story, the Wishing Star deepens and fills up every piece of scenery it interacts with! That would be cool. Maybe there’s a story-reason for the world.

I don’t know about the protagonist being bland. To make a good character (particularly in a kid’s movie) you need one big flaw (to make the character believable) and one big strength (to make the character compelling) and then little flaws and strengths surrounding that. For example, Aladdin’s one big flaw is his insecurity, and his one big strength is his compassion. You can file smaller traits like “trust issues, impulsivity, defensiveness, dishonesty” under the Insecurity flaw, and you can file “generous, insightful,” under the Compassion strength. His compassion makes him help and connect with Jasmine in the marketplace even though his Insecurity leads him to think he needs to be a Prince to re-connect with her after she turns out to be the Princess, etc. So it’s fine if she has one obvious flaw. She just really needs it to be relatable. All Disney characters wish for something. But every single one of them typically learns that the thing they were wishing for isn’t what they thought it would be, and to have what’s worth wishing for (love, usually) requires sacrifice. It’s a formula, but it’s a tried-and-true formula. It’s a multi-faceted formula. If they pick a new facet but remember the good, plain, common sense in the same formula, everything will be fine.

Their messages have been less and less subtle. In general I don’t mind when messages are obvious, because (you know me) I think that’s what movies are for. But! I will admit that movies like The Little Mermaid or Beauty & the Beast or Lilo & Stitch, where the messages are wrapped in layers of compelling character arcs and feel more character-driven, are better than movies like Raya and the Last Dragon. No shade, Raya, but how many times can you say “trust” in the same movie? Aladdin did it in two.

I don’t mind references in movies. Worked for Frozen. But there’s a difference between having Anna excitedly see the sails of a ship entering the harbor as a callback to Pocahontas, and having Rapunzel ask Vanellope if people assume all her problems were solved because a big strong man showed up. One is respectful (hey, let’s parallel Anna seeing the start of a new chapter in her life the same way Pocahontas did with sails!) and the other is sort of poking fun at the audience for ever liking what Disney made. Basically I’m very tired of meta-references.

I think this movie has potential to treat death with the weight it’ll need. After all, if it’s about wishes, one of the very easiest but most emotionally-engaging things they could do is have the main character (or the villain) be wishing to bring someone who’s died back. Then the message could go hard.

I totally agree about romance. The thing about romance is, it is a great way for one character to self-examine and confront their issues, as well as move into a place where they’re willing to sacrifice for others. Having a young, naive character set out to get their dreams, and then run into another character and start to care about that character? It forces conflict and tension, and again, it’s a formula, but it’s a formula that makes sense and shouldn’t be fixed because it’s not broke.

What I really don’t like about this villain is that he just feels bland, like a rockstar character who turns out to be a jerk. Surprise, surprise. And Chris Pine plays Chris Pine in everything he’s in, so I’m not thrilled by that either. But whatever.

Yeah, this last point goes back to meta-humor. #NotMyDisney thinks it needs to acknowledge what’s being mocked in order to trick the mocking audiences into watching their new stuff. “If we just own up to our formulas with a joke, they’ll see we’re self-aware and they’ll come along for the ride!” No, actually, you’ll just take them out of the movie mentally and emotionally to hit them with a fourth-wall slap. And then they’ll mock you because that’s cringe. The truth of the matter is, Disney responded to their haters best with Mary Poppins, and then again with Enchanted, and should’ve left it at that. Don’t say “yeah I know we have princesses and cute animals in our movies, aren’t we silly.” Say, “yeah I know we have Princesses and cute animals in our movies, but that’s because life is dark and hard, and hopeful young women with lowly but loveable creatures are inspiring & important. Kids need a spoonful of sugar to HELP the MEDICINE GO DOWN. But it's still MEDICINE that we're making, you're telling us we shouldn't give kids medicine that tastes good?" That’s what they used to say. Now they just…agree with the haters? Because it's a popularity contest, not a responsibility, anymore. Like that’s going to help.

Anyway, I don’t have set-in-stone thoughts about Wish, because Wish hasn’t come out yet. I agree that actors and actresses can give you some idea of where a movie’s headed and sometimes that’s disheartening, but I haven’t seen anything that makes me worry about Wish—except that it looks bland.

#Disney’s wish #wish movie #Disney #wish #Disney wish #wishing Star #when you wish upon a star #asked #answered #State of the fandom

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olderthannetfic · 9 months

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Escapade Dance Party 2023 Writeup 1/3

Seeing as Escapade Online is coming up this weekend, I suppose I should finally write up some stuff about last in-person con that I never got around to.

I don't usually bother with a full con report, but I do like writing up the dance party. Instead of just playing music, I do a playlist of vids that we project on the wall. It's a small con, somewhere between a hundred and a hundred and thirty, generally, so I don't bother to ask permission. (This is also why we don't broadcast or redistribute the dance party in any way or do one for the online con.)

Escapade is a venerable con. In fact, it's the oldest still-running slash con. Back in the 90s, people would come here to find out what was going on in fandom that year, get pimped into the latest fandoms, find out about new zines. Fandom moves a lot faster now: between when we decide on panels and when the con happens, a whole movie fandom could have risen and fallen. Still, it's as easy as ever to feel out of touch, just for different reasons than in the 90s.

I want people to come away from the dance party feeling like they've heard of some of the Next Hot Things. It's also a great opportunity to cover some of attendees' own fandoms that may not end up in the main vidshow. As a vidder, I despise cons that try to make the main vidshow purely audience-focused and just about whatever ships are big. A con like that sees vidders as providers of entertainment, not fellow fans and attendees. But a con that honors vidders' actual current interests is a con with a vidshow full of weird fandoms of one and glaring gaps in what older fandoms are included. So having another curated show, like this dance party, is a nice way to bridge that gap.

The party is essentially like an enormous mixtape. It's a chance for me to make thematic links between vids and to inflict music I actually want to dance to onto a captive audience. Each discrete vidding community tends to have extremely boring taste in music. Sorry, not sorry. And for dance music, this is even worse. I often can't find what I'm looking for, but I can try.

Every year, I begin by looking at attendees' profiles on the Escapade site, filtering the m/m tag on AO3 for what's been active in the past year, and browsing around until I come up with a list of fandoms of interest. Fandoms that people suggested Escapade panels for also go on the list. These may be the big ones, but there are usually a lot of idiosyncratic options since it's a small con. It doesn't matter if Steve/Bucky is big if nobody at this con is going to care.

I set up my spreadsheet for my epic vid search: This involves not only sheets for my fandom list but vocabulary lists for searching: Слэш, 燃, etc.

After that, I go through the past year of the AO3 'fanvids' tag and maybe the 'amv' one, looking for interesting vids. They need to be at least somewhat danceable and 2-5 minutes without a ton of show audio. That's easier to find on AO3 than Youtube at large, but it still knocks out most vids I open everything, put the playhead to the middle of the vid, and test the sound. If I hear something viable, I go back and watch the vid. But if too many people I know have kudosed, I take it off the list since people have seen it already. For this step, I don't care about fandom, just about the vid being interesting and preferably slashy. (Yes, this is how I fell into Beyond Evil.)

After that, I start looking on Youtube and Bilibili, fandom by fandom, ship by ship. Some fandoms I never do find. They're just too unpopular with vidders. Some I find, but only a ship I have banned. I have a lifetime ban on Klance, for example. Anything too redolent of antis goes on the banned list. Anything with surprise tentacles is a shoo-in.

I also have some other rules for myself that I've developed over the years. I want at least a couple of vids with women, preferably f/f. Escapade is more m/m-focused, but a lot of attendees are queer and/or ship f/f as well. The show must have at least a vid or two that focuses on somebody other than white or East Asian characters. I mostly avoid vidders who are well known to people who attend the US slash/Media Fandom/vidding type cons unless I really cannot fill a particular fandom need elsewhere. I especially try to avoid vids that have already shown at other cons recently, though depending on how they're labeled, I may screw that one up. I've been more and more strict about this over time. I find a lot of vidding communities pretty incestuous, so this is a chance to shake things up.

A big one that surprises some people is that I try to avoid most multifandom vids and many ensemble vids. This one is negotiable depending on the vid, but I find that there's a distasteful pattern where a juggernaut will be deemed worthy of taking up a whole slot for itself with just a focus on the one ship while other things are relegated to an Awesome Ladies compilation. Those vids are fantastic in isolation, but if you play a lot of them together in a vidshow, let alone a vidshow that's a dark, noisy dance party, they all blend together into mush. A great ship vid or single character study, on the other hand, still manages to grab people. If you aren't willing to say "This ship gets the Star Wars/MCU/etc. slot, not that ship", what are you actually saying?

I try to find a fresh choice for any fandom that has been directly requested (so pretty much just Sentinel) and any where I know some attendees are mostly or only in that one fandom (The Professionals).

Of course, I can only play what people have already made, and this is a dance party, so sometimes, there just aren't any choices. I do shoehorn in a couple of not-very danceable vids most years, but they can only go right before or after the intermission or right at the end, so the number has to be limited.

One thing I don't always care about is the strictest standards of "quality" in a snobby vidder sense. Not only do different communities have different standards for what counts, but I'm more interested in novelty or great music. I won't play anything I think is terrible, but I'll take a B+ vid by a rando to an A+ song over an A+ vid that everyone's already seen.

For 2023's con, I decided the party should have a theme of vampires since I had guessed—incorrectly— that the new Interview with the Vampire show would be the latest hot thing everyone was talking about. In retrospect, I should have picked mafia for Kinnporsche and Gonchraov. At least vampires gave me good decorating ideas for cheesy fake candles and black spiderweb-draped tables.

It also sent me looking for goth club music, which I did find to some extent, but between who didn't attend this year and how awesome the cocktail party outside was, we got much less action on the dance floor than usual. (Excuse you! That music is totally danceable! "Drunken tai chi" as we used to say!)

At least my themed cocktail list was a hit. As an annoying cocktail nerd, it infuriates me when people just take a famous drink and slap a fannish name on it, so I insist on making a fannish cocktail list I find respectable.

Playlist in a moment.

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noodleblade · 3 months

Text

Miscellaneous Tag Game (stolen title <3)

thank you bestie:3 @searchingfortheuniverse I'll be working on this while im on and off phone calls~

A band you don’t like that many others do: UM idk...my music taste is all over the place and I really only know the bands i think?? oh- maybe Mother Mother, only because I have not bothered to listen to their music past Junkrat hype videos and that's probably tainted my view a little. For better or for worse.

A childhood memory that you remember vividly: during a summer in greece, idk how, but I got roped into selling watermelons off the side of the road. I couldn't have been more than 6 or 7, but I remember I would put the watermelon in a plastic bag and the farmers thought it was really funny because that's such a...united states thing...to bag 1 whole watermelon in plastic. Anyways, they paid me in cucumber slices with salt.

Least favorite animal and why: HUH LEAST. I'm not a huge fan of like reptiles? Specifically those smaller than a bread box. Too fast, too squirm. Im worried I'll crush them in my hands. (im thinking of specifically florida geckos...idk they are cute but i freak out trying to hold them).

Hot fandom take: just because something is popular and fandom-wide accepted doesn't mean it is good. and not agreeing with it/wanting to engage in it doesn't mean you or your own opinions are bad. the monopoly on accepted 1 true canon is boring.

Do you wear any jewelry, if so, what’s your favorite piece: I try an rotate my jewelry around but I'm usually wearing a few rings, a necklace and a pair of earrings. My favorites are the rings. They are my mom's old ones and I typically wear the same two every day. One is a gold key of greece and the other is a thin black bar but the sides have really small thin heart cut outs.

A movie others liked but you didn’t: HMMMMM probably the new star wars trilogy. felt unnecessary and i just didn't like it? big shruggies

Three things you love about yourself: my writing- its something that I enjoy the most in the world and something that I can claim as mine. I also think I'm pretty funny in a sillay way which is poggers. I like my openness to trying things. Think that's helped make me more well-rounded. I hope so at least.

A place you hope to visit in the future and why: HMMMMM. I want to visit Japan again. For a new place, I want to go to South America. Peru maybe??? Mexico would also be nice. So that's what I'm gearing up towards next.

An actor that gets on your nerves and why: Uh Matt Smith? No reason behind this. but I see his block head and kind of just look away.

Things you’re excited for in the nearby future? I have a lot of little house projects I finally feel like tackling which is exciting. Ive lived in my house for almost 2.5 years and still havent felt like parts of it are complete yet.

Least favorite ship in a fandom you’re in: oof I lowkey kind of hate saying things I don't like on here. bad experiences in the past when people were upset I didn't like a thing they did and got mad at me. But uhhh not the biggest fan of most rodimus ships? but I think mega/rod is my least favorite of them. sorry!

What’s the most toxic fandom you’ve been in? hahaahahahhahahah can you believe Game of Thrones wasn't the most toxic???? it was jjba. I got put on a ban list which was kind of funny. I also got kind of show-ponyed in a toxic discord server for a while which has completely ruined me in the ability to act normal on discord outside of my irl friends. that account is deleted but the ao3 is still circling around.

List three things you find beautiful about life: Friends and family- sometimes I want to kill but I really do love them so so much. I like creating things and creating things with people. I also really like my area as far as nature goes. the beach to swamp ratio sings to me.

Any dreams for the future? I want to go on a really long hike. Maybe like a 2 day one? (< says the person that has gone on a max 2 hour hike before). Also just working on my original fiction again. I miss those fellas.

How are you really feeling today? Motivated!!!! Im a little groggy still, but I've been really excited about life and betterment lately so its overcoming my sleepy brain.

Tags: feel free to do or not: @honkytonka, @elmonstro, @huanted-dennys, @feral-birb-husband, @solarstormstuff @anyone else who wants to!! I'd be happy to read them:3

#tag game #me stuff

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skysometric · 4 months

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y'know people always ask what you're favorite game is

but nobody ever asks what your least favorite game is

truth be told, that's a much harder question to answer! i'm usually able to wring some enjoyment out of the worst games, if only to laugh at them, explore them in a historical context, or find lessons on what not to do when making a game. even the time i streamed "Family Party: 30 Great Games Obstacle Arcade" – the lowest rated game currently on Metacritic – i got some enjoyment out of laughing at the game with my friend, and i still think of it as one of my favorite early streams!

that means that, generally, my least favorite games sit somewhere in the middle; they're competent enough to not have laughable flaws, but boring enough that i have no desire to finish them. unsurprisingly, i remember very few of these, because they don't leave any impression on me!

so discarding that angle... in the vein of my favorite games of the year being ranked by my favorite memories, the most fun i had – i need to dig through my memories for something so horrifyingly bad that it left a lasting impression on me. and i might just know the answer. so without further ado, here's the story of:

My Least Favorite Game Ever

i like to brag that my first console was a sega dreamcast at any opportunity i can get – it's worth bragging about! that cute little console was way ahead of its time, and i was proud of the library i had built up. sonic adventure 1 and 2, daytona usa 2001, chu chu rocket, rayman 2…

every saturday my friends from the area would come over, and we would all take turns racing each other at sa2 or daytona. my parents would provide us with snacks and drinks – one time they even hosted a daytona tournament! those saturdays are why i love streaming so much, why i love playing mario kart with friends… they were essential to my growth as a kid, and i cherish the memories dearly.

one day, though, we had to move away from my friends in the area, because my dad was graduating and we could no longer live in the apartments on campus. it was a time of great change for many reasons: right before we left, mom found a big gaming deal – we could trade up my dreamcast for a gamecube with a memory card and a free game! so mom managed to drag me to e.b. games and jump on the deal, even though i didn't understand why… my dreamcast works perfectly fine, right?

but it was 2003, and nobody told me that the dreamcast had been dead for two years. few stores carried dreamcast games anymore, and frankly, it was a miracle that e.b. games was offering a trade-up deal this late.

i nervously brought my dreamcast and my precious library of games to the counter. they handed me a list to choose my free game from – just a simple printed list of names, with no covers or gameplay details, no way to look at the back of the box.

i did not recognize a single game on the list.

i nervously tried to back out of the deal, but we were already here, and mom was growing impatient. so i chose the one franchise i recognized – a game called Shrek: Extra Large – and took my new gamecube home.

i HATED it.

the game was dull, short, and crude; it had no life in it whatsoever. i remember 100%ing the game in just the short week between trading everything in and the time we moved. i hated the story, hated the gameplay, hated the music, hated the humor.

i wished i could play anything else… but i had no other games anymore. the dreamcast was my only console, and i sold it all. for this.

worse still, the game had no multiplayer. on my last saturday there, i had to tearfully explain to my friends that i no longer had my beloved dreamcast, so we could not play sonic adventure 2 anymore, and we couldn't even play the one game i did have together.

it stung all the harder when we moved, and i no longer had my dreamcast… or my friends.

as soon as we finished moving, the first thing i did was sell that accursed game. i got a couple bucks back, which was just enough to afford a used copy of Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly – a game that, these days, has a reputation for being glitchy and repetitive.

…and i had WAY more fun with it! the gamecube wasn't a total wash after all!!

before long, i gathered a library of new games i was actually happy with: sonic heroes, crash bandicoot: wrath of cortex… games that most people these days would call "mid." it didn't matter. i was too young to care, too broken myself to notice how broken the games were. i made do.

and then, one day, i finally found Sonic Adventure 2: Battle in the store – and i begged my parents to buy it for me. the void in my heart was finally filled, and the gamecube would go on to become my childhood favorite console.

was Shrek: Extra Large actually that bad? honestly, i don't remember enough about the game itself to speak from experience. wikipedia suggests that it was heavily panned by critics, so it probably was that bad. one day i want to revisit the game on stream and find out for myself…

but does it matter whether it was good or bad? the game is associated with some of my worst childhood memories – trading my familiar dreamcast away, moving away from my friends without getting to play one last game with them, losing everything i held dear as a kid. the game could be an underrated gem, and it would still be tarnished enough that i could never engage with it in good faith.

if that doesn't qualify for "least favorite game," i don't know what does.

————————————

one last footnote… i've always been curious about which other games i passed up on when i traded in my dreamcast for a gamecube. what other games were on the list? a broken fragment of a memory says that Luigi's Mansion might've been on there… which makes sense, because i wouldn't have recognized it as a mario game from the name alone! but given that shrek was even on the list, it was probably just a bunch of other underselling tripe.

so if you know of any way to dig back through time for that info, let me know! it would've been in December 2003 at e.b. ɡames (or possibly gamestop?), and i imagine it was a nationwide deal rather than a local one. i would love to go dig through some old promo paper scans or press releases…

#writing #stories #least favorite #dreamcast #gamecube #gaming #asks #inbox #noobette-little-box

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goldenretriever-nicknelson · 1 year

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prompt 30 from the list with peter parker 👉👈

Thank you for requesting! I'm spending the day watching Christmas movies so please feel free to send more! This was very cheesy and very fun to write. It doesn't follow canon MCU events though.

wc: 1k

“Pleaseeee.”

You sighed and looked up from where you had been baking cookies to be met with the famous Peter Parker puppy dog eyes. He knew they were your kryptonite.

“Pete, couldn’t you have picked a less embarrassing sweater to wear?” You giggled and continued to cut out your Christmas cookies in the shape of different avengers wearing Santa hats. Peter’s choice of cookie cutter.

It was your first christmas together in your new apartment and Tony had invited you to his regular christmas party at the tower. You were excited to see Peter’s old room that was still there from when he had joined the Avengers as a teenager and he was just as excited to introduce you to the team. A little too excited.

Peter had brought you matching sweaters for the occasion, a cute thought if it wasn’t for the light up red noses and the melody of jingle bells that rang out if you pressed a button on the sweater. In short, it was worse than a stereotypical cheesy Christmas sweater.

“I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of the Avengers!” You pouted after placing your cookies in the oven, making a pleading face towards your boyfriend. Peter walked over and wrapped his arms around you, kissing your head.

“I promise you won’t. You should see Thor’s Christmas jumpers!” Peter laughed and played with your hair, smiling as you giggled. “Plus I’ll make you hot cocoa when we get back and we can order Chinese food.”

He knew you too well.

“Fine. Go get the sweaters.” You sighed playfully, a smile playing on your lips as Peter practically jumped for joy and ran to get them. Your boyfriend was such a dork but you loved him very much, so much so you were willing to wear an atrocity of a sweater for him.

Once you were both ready, sweaters worn in all their glory, you both made your way to the tower in a car that picked you up. The driver was a familiar face who laughed as soon as you both entered the car.

“What are you two wearing?”

Happy Hogan turned to look at you both in the back seat and raised his brows, an amused smile on his face. Not that he should be surprised anymore, knowing Peter.

“Christmas sweaters!” Peter cheerfully replied, gaining a giggle from you as you took his hand. Happy just shook his head and started to drive.

You cuddled into Peter’s side on the journey, trying your best not to feel too nervous as Peter busied himself with pointing out the beautiful decorations that lined the streets. He soon noticed you were quieter than usual and kissed your head.

“You okay princess?”

You looked up at Peter’s kind smile and nodded, already feeling more relaxed. “Just a bit nervous I guess.”

“They’re gonna love you.” Peter pecked your lips and told you not to worry, stroking your hair. It was a gesture that always made you feel better, plus the promise of one of Tony’s famous hot chocolates that you had heard so much about.

As you pulled up there was no mistaking you were at the right place. The tower gleamed with festive cheer from top to bottom and you could hear music playing from the tall building.

Peter held your hand as you walked in, taking the elevator to the correct floor and putting on your best smile despite the reminder of the terrible sweater you were wearing.

Festive cheer welcomed you as soon as the elevator door opened, a giant Christmas tree stood in the middle of the foyer and decorations hung on every available surface as holiday music filled your ears.

“Well if it isn’t Rudolph and Comet.”

You could have recognised that voice from anywhere. Tony Stark came to greet you, wearing an Iron Man Christmas sweater and a pair of festive glasses. Peter and him exchanged a hug which triggered the tune of Jingle Bells to play from Peter’s sweater.

“Very festive. Let me guess your idea Pete?” Tony laughed and patted Peter on the shoulder as he nodded before turning to you. “It’s nice to finally meet you Y/n, we all had bets on if you were real or not. I just won 20 bucks.”

Peter blushed bright red, matching the shade of his jumper and laughed sheepishly. You awed and kissed his cheek before shaking Tony’s hand.

“I assure you I’m very real and it’s very nice to meet you Mr Stark.”

He insisted you call him Tony but it was almost instinct after hearing Peter call him Mr Stark all this time to do the same. Everyone enjoyed the cookies as you put them on the snack table, some even posting selfies of them with their own lookalike cookie.

Peter nudged you whilst you were talking to Natasha and pointed out Thor who was wearing a bright green jumper with a 3D elf on it that jingled as he walked. His brother, Loki, had obviously been forced into wearing a green Grinch jumper which matched his own sullen expression.

When you finally got a moment between the two of you as everyone settled down for a drink of hot chocolate or stronger for some, Peter snuggled into you and whispered gently into your ear. “I told you they’d love you.”

And sure enough all of the team had been lovely, poking polite fun at your sweaters and sharing a joke or two about Peter finally having a girlfriend who went along with his ideas. Both of your cheeks were well and truly scarlet by the end of the night.

“You know what?” You nudged Peter as you finally got back home, feeling a bit more merry and tipsy than when you had left. Peter hummed in response and nuzzled his cold nose against yours, becoming sappy when he was tipsy.

“I love my sweater.” You giggled, pressing the small button that let Jingle Bells play as the nose lit up. Peter laughed as he pressed his own sweater too and kissed you happily.

tags: @glowunderthemoon @the-girl-in-the-chair @spideyspeaches @parkersdahlia @seolaseoul @love-peterparker

#taglist in pinned post #fanfic #christmas blurb #peter parker x reader #peter parker #reader insert #mcu!peter parker x reader #mcu #marvel #mcu!peter parker #Christmas #requested #cookie 🍪

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scumscuttlers · 3 months

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A really normal person who is just an asshole.

— @coralcalypso describing my character, 2024.

Inezra as a character has been around since 7/28/2014. She doesn't have a super long history though because most of what I did have was lost to hard drive failure. So, lol. I ended up reconstructing things pre-2018, and have been trying to flesh her out by interacting with more people.

If you're curious what writing I'm referencing, her writing tag is over here.

Personality

Inez is obsessive. This isn't always a negative.

Inez is too smart for her own good and frequently thinks herself into knots (as evidenced from some of the conversations and interactions in recent / old stories). She is absolutely yanking on people's chain when she pretends to not know or understand some things. Key word: Some. Somewhat at odds with the brawns over brains presentation she has. It's easier not to think about things. Imagine how happy you would be if you stopped thinking too. (She's still not happy.)

That said, she's also allergic to being honest about herself and her feelings. She doesn't lie out of habit. It's more likely she'll omit information or deflect by making a joke. This makes it easier to slip in actual requests for information. You just never know if she's fucking with you or not.

Rarely does she reconsider whatever she thinks the "best" option is. Gleaned from Dialus' perspective in old writing and conversations with my friend @sleepytrolls.

She has a kneejerk reaction to new information, but will also keep asking for details until she's satisfied that she knows enough about it. She's then incredibly likely to turn around and make fun of your character for their perspective. This makes her not fun to talk to. She knows this. She also doesn't care (most of the time).

Has a penchant for violence that's hereditary and probably in part caused by brain damage. From all the concussions, your honor. She has poor emotional regulation normally. She also does not have a moirail or very many trolls willing to put up with her, so this is just bad soup. She's gotten better but not better fast enough.

She has standards and a conscience even if she goes to great lengths to pretend she doesn't. There are absolutely lines she won't cross and she's sensitive to people not being receptive to her bitching, but that's new. Notably, times in the watch party chats when she's switched tack mid conversation based on someone's responses. You won't catch her apologizing though.

She tries to tone down her assholery depending on the person, or tailor it specificly to them to make their day worse. It depends.

Likes

Fighting. As 5lux put it, Inezra was hatched to hate. She doesn't need much reason to fight people and will go so far as to injure herself to get another lick in during those fights. There's something going on up there in her pan. Don't ask what it is.

Being a dick. This is just a precursor to fighting. She doesn't really do blackrom or she'd be in a quad with the whole world. If you hate her she likes you.

A cool cigarette to ease the pain.

Reading, but only sometimes, and she doesn't like most contemporary writing.

You'd think music would belong in this list but it doesn't. No I won't be elaborating on that right now.

Quirks

You can earn her honesty. Ways this has been done so far includes: fighting her and making it fun, having a spine, making her laugh, or being upfront about feelings (that last one doesn't always work). This is usually only for a limited time. You get one glimpse into her functioning troll brain. Just one.

She smokes. A lot. If she were normal she would probably have had two types of lung cancer by now, but she's suspiciously okay.

Whatever

Stuff that doesn't have a specific place to go yet.

Inezra doesn't relate to anyone in her age group. She finds it very strange how Sefoni & co (how she mentally refers to that entire extended friend group) seem wrapped up in other alien's cultures. It's somewhat alienating to be the only "real" troll, which as we all know is a feeling normal people react to with anger. 😀 (She's not actually normal.)

She actually did dodge the draft. That piece of trivia isn't punk posing and will probably catch up to her at some point.

The game doesn't exist in her universe. Every time she sees somebody talk about the game and adjacent topics she thinks they're taking FLARPing too far. It's the cognitive dissonance for me.

Thanks for making it this far. Maybe I'll vomit words again soon.

#OOC #[Character Info]#[Meta Post]#// Meta character stuff.#// I was initially aiming to answer the “why is she like that” question but there's no good outside looking in answer.#// She's just like that. She is what she is.#// Awful and probably going to die awful. 🥰#// Fixed the writing tag link!

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inevitably-johnlocked · 1 year

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Why do I feel like a failure? Why do I feel like I'm shit at my new job even if I've never received a complaint in these three months? Why do I feel like everyone is talking behind my back about how boring/ugly/stupid I am? Why do I have to feel like this and not enjoy even a fkng day? I'm sorry if this is too much Steph, but your words really helped me in the past. I don't really know how to handle all of this. I'm about to explode

Hey Nonny *HUGS*

Oof, if this isn't relatable to me, I don't know what is. I first want to preface this with this is STRICTLY my opinion, and that I am in no way a professional. I'm just giving you a few anecdotes from my own life, but please take my advice with a grain of salt; I strongly encourage you to talk to either a therapist, counsellor, or someone you trust.

Also, I myself am going through a rough headspace few months, so I'm going to try my best to answer this as carefully as I can so while I try my best to make you feel better, I have to, for my own mental health, not go on into too much detail that will spiral me myself. I just didn't want to leave this message hanging for a few months when winter is finally over and my headspace would be better, is all, and will try my best. I am worried about you <3

I'm not sure where you live, if you are in an ENDLESS winter like I am, but a lot of this sounds like seasonal depression talking at the least, but more likely poor self-esteem and actual full-on depression if this is a "regular" thing for you. Nonny, please know, as I grew older, most of those thoughts are more-than-likely in your head; a perception of reality becomes exceptionally distorted, especially if you have poor self worth/esteem. Everything feels like the worst-case-scenario, and while I did grow out of it a bit the older I got when I became more "fuck 'em" in my attitude, but I still finally had to see a therapist because it's too much for me to handle on my own. Especially coupled with anxiety and seasonal depression that's at its worst in January and February, and I just... crack some times. Plus my self esteem is really non-existent and whoops, suddenly I'm in the exact same headspace you're in, Nonny. It's terrifying, feeling like you can't escape your own brain's perception of everything.

Sometimes, just taking a step back from everything helps, too, Nonny. I know it's cliché, but doing something you know you enjoy can help improve your mood. I like doing art, replaying a video game I KNOW I love and don't get frustrated in, listening to music, watch a movie, or even just reading. It all turns my brain off after a bit and it does help a lot. And get off social media, because places like TikTok, Instagram and Twitter will only make your self esteem worse.

And I want to stress: IT'S OKAY TO NEED HELP. YOU DON'T HAVE TO SUFFER ALONE. My own therapy is talk-therapy, and we talk about usually my current events but she spends a lot of time letting me know that my own feelings are valid, and we talk through the feelings I have when they overwhelm me. We talk about my job, and my home life, my future and my past, and it's just nice to have someone unbiased to talk to for an hour a few times a year, you know? I think you would benefit a lot from it too, if you are able. I got lucky and connected immediately with the therapist I got, but know mine is an exception: it might take a few different people before you find the right one.

That all said, your message strays darker than I think you realize though, Nonny, and I worry about you. I have a huge list of some help lines and Mental Health Resources that I think you will benefit from as well:

741741 Suicide Helpline / Texting Crisis Service

7Cups Online Emotional Support Therapists

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA): 1-800-273-8255

Crisis Services Canada: Call 1.833.456.4566 || Text/SMS: 45645

Canada Suicide Prevention Centre (Talk Suicide Canada): 833-456-4566 || SMS: Text START to 741741

Lifeline Australia: 13 11 14

Suicide SupportLine (UK): 01708 765200

Suicide Crisis Helpline (NZ) 0508 828 865

Kid’s Help Phone (They are Canadian, but I think they’ll be able to direct y'all to the proper place for your country – for youth and young adults 18 and under): 1-800-668-6868 || They also have a Live Chat with a professional counsellor from 7PM to midnight EST

1Call1Click.ca (Eastern Ontario) - A simple way for children, youth up to 21 years and families to access the right mental health and addiction care, at the right time. Call 613-260-2360 or toll free at 1-877-377-7775

Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (USA) - Available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. Dial 9-8-8 (as a side note, Canada will also be adopting this number in Fall 2023).

Suicide Hotlines.com (USA)

AND IF YOUR COUNTRY IS NOT HERE: Wikipedia’s List of Suicide Crisis Lines By Country

If you live in Canada, the government is providing SOME FREE mental health resources. It’s an exhaustive list with resources for each province as well as some tips to help cope.

The City of Ottawa ALSO has a list of Local Mental Health Resources. While I’m sure that if you’re not from Ottawa, you can probably call one of them and ask if they know if there’s any for your region.

I'm ALWAYS collecting resources to help spread to y'all, so if you guys have some you've used, please do share. All of my google results are primarily Canadian, so if you have some other regional resource, I want to add them. Mental health is super important to me, and I want to always have an up-to-date list for anyone struggling.

That all said Nonny, my heart is hurting for you, and I want you to know that we are all here for you. Know that you are loved and cared about, and be safe <3 It WILL get better, Nonny.

*SNUGGLE BUGGLE HUGGLE*

#steph replies #i am not a professional #my advice #life advice #depression cw #suicidal ideation cw #self esteem cw #helplines #crisis helplines

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slaasherslut · 1 year

Text

The Final Girl

Summary: When Ava Walker's truck crapped out on a stretch of Louisiana highway, a smitten Lester comes to her rescue.

Warnings: Not a reader insert like my usual work. This fic uses my OC Ava, very mildly suggestive language, fluff, Lester being so fucking cute

3.3k words

Ava sank back into the driver's seat as her fingers continued to drum on the steering wheel. The dreamy voice of James Hetfield sang loudly over her trucks stereo as she mouthed along to his words

Die by my hand,

I creep across the land,

Killing first born man,

Die by my hand,

I creep across the land,

Killing first born man .

A growl in Ava's stomach wasn't heard over the music but it was definitely felt. It was almost midday and she had barely eaten anything except a granola bar from the glove compartment since she got back on the road roughly five hours earlier. She unlocked her phone which was mounted to the dash of her truck and pulled up her phone's GPS, eyes quickly darting back and forth between the road and the screen. From the map she could tell she was making decent time to her temporary destination, Baton Rouge, Louisiana. She would stop there for a few days before heading further south to New Orleans. 30 more miles and she would be stopping for a couple days to restock on supplies for the road and stretch her weary fishnet covered legs.

As Ava was scrolling through a list of surrounding fast food joints, a loud sputtering sent her body to jolt forward in her seat. She immediately looked up to the road and a series of small sputters coming from under the hood got her attention. She could see small trails of smoke escaping the front of the hood.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me. You couldn't have died when we got there!?"

Ava groaned as she turned onto the nearest off ramp. The road she had turned down looked to be one of those Louisiana back roads lined with nothing but deep woods following a narrow strip of dirt and rock. She went as far down the road as she could before her truck seemed to get worse. Cursing, she carefully pulled to the side of the narrow road, making sure her trailer was out of the middle of any other motorists way. She let out a huff before shutting off her truck, the music died along with her truck and the quiet took its place. She sat there for a moment in the deafening silence before snatching her phone out of its stand before attempting to call a tow truck. Her stomach dropped, no bars.

"Great." She thought sarcastically. "This is exactly what I needed right now."

She swung the door open and pushed herself out onto the rough terrain. She looked back the way she came, it led to the highway but all she could see were trees. The sounds of distant cars were little to none. The way she was headed was a mystery. A little ways away was a bend in the road almost completely hidden with more trees. She was really dreading having to leave her truck and all her belongings on the side of the road and have to walk to god knows where. The GPS didn't even show anything at the end of the road, like a road that leads to absolutely nowhere. In a last-ditch effort to call for help, she climbed on top of the truck's hood hoping to get a phone signal if she were just a bit higher. Her fishnet stockings caught on a piece of upturned metal and tore a larger hole in them. In the mix of smaller holes, there was now one the size of a baseball on her thigh. She ground her teeth in frustration before stepping up the windshield and standing on the roof. With her phone raised high she squinted to find no change, still no signal.

"Shit!" She cursed. "I guess i'm gonna have to take a walk."

As she dropped her arm in defeat, the sound of dirt and rock under slow tires caught in her ears. She looked ahead to see a dirty blue pickup truck round the bend down the road. This both terrified her and gave her a sense of relief.

Relief in the fact that she was not alone out here and terrified at the fact that she was not alone out in the middle of nowhere. The only other person for miles and she had no idea of this person's intentions. The truck with its mystery driver pulled across the road to park hood to hood with her. She gave the inside of her left combat boot a tap with her other boot. The feeling of hitting something hard in her boot helped calm her down a tiny bit. The knife that was always slipped into her boot was still in its place. She felt the clip still in place over the top of her boot. The mystery truck's driver side door was open and a dishevelled man stepped out, placing an arm over the roof of the truck and the other over the open door.

"You okay out 'ere? Yah look like you could use a little help." A thick country drawl echoed over to her, a voice that hit her right in the gut.

Ava sighed, looking down at the man whos eyes were intently on her. "My truck just went and died on me. Shes old but I was hoping she'd last a bit longer."

"Yeah I get that." Lester pat the roof of his truck. "Old girls like tha' can be pretty high maintenance." Lester exclaimed with a grin. Ava chuckled before sitting down and sliding herself down the windshield, resting on the hood. Now that she was closer she got a better look at him. He looked to be just a bit taller and a bit older than she was, with a green cap covering his what looked to be brown hair. He wore a dirty wife beater, once looked white now stained with dirt and sweat. Atop that was a brown button up that she could tell something was filling the breast pocket. Her eyes trailed to a necklace that hung around his neck. From here she couldn't make out exactly what it was. He was just a straight up filthy looking man.

She stayed on the hood staring back at him, one leg dangling off the side and the other bent at the knee, bringing it up to her chest. Her oversized tee riding up a little bit exposing the jean shorts she wore underneath that were previously hidden from view. Lester couldn't help but feel his breath hitch as he tried to get a view of them from between her legs. They were quite short and had ridden up fairly high from her slide down the truck. He felt his body heat up from a mixture of the attractive girl in front of him and how he felt her eyes moving up and down to examine him. It wasn't too often girls looking like that come through these parts, and when they did they definitely never came alone.

Ava could feel the man's gaze trailing over her. It wasn't the first time a man looked at her like that, and it wouldn't be the last. If she was being honest with herself whenever it happened it was quite the ego boost, she quite liked the attention. Plus, this guy was kinda cute. You know, in a dirty country hick kinda way. Not her usual type but then again she wasn't in her usual element either. His eyes trailed back up her body before stopping at her eyes, which were intently staring back into his. A wave of embarrassment and heat washed over his whole body. He looked away to avoid her intense stare, he looked back at her as he continued.

"Bo can fix ya right up though, he's a mechanic in the closest town to 'ere, just a ways up the road. He'll have ya back on the road real quick, I can give ya a lift if you'd like." He shuffled his feet as he asked if she wanted a ride from him. Ava weighed her options; either she doesn't take the ride and has to walk god knows how long to a mechanic, or she takes the ride and risks being murdered. She thought about it for a moment, she was armed. If things turned sour at least she could defend herself. He did seem awfully nice too.

"Could you please? You'd be saving my ass right now." She slid off the truck and shoved her phone in her back pocket.

"Of course, hop in and we'll get goin'." Lester gave the hood of his truck a small celebratory smack before sitting back in the driver's seat. Ava felt the dirt shift under her boots as she made her way over to the passenger side door, throwing it open and jumping in. As she got in she told herself to stay on guard and be careful. This was a stranger and she didn't want to end up like a kid on a milk carton. Lester did a three point turn before heading up the road and around the bend, her truck and everything she owned disappearing behind the thick trees.

"The names Lester, by the way." He gave her a quick glance as he drove.

"Avana." She responded with a small smile as she played with the new hole in her tights.

"Avana? I like tha', different, real pretty." Lester put his elbow on the truck's door to put his hand over the lower half of his face, trying to hide his small smile and growing blush. He had no idea why he said what he said, he had never talked to a tourist like this before. He looked over at her again to see her looking down at her legs, hair hiding a majority of her face from his view. Although he couldn't see much of her face, the red cheeks stood out from the black of her hair.

Her stomach did a flip at his compliment. This stranger was making her feel both nervous and excited at the same time. She honestly felt like throwing up at how her stomach was making her feel. She looked over at him with a small smile.

"Thank you, Lester." The truck fell silent for a moment before she spoke again.

"How long is the drive?" She asked while turning to look at him again.

"Not too long, only twenty minutes or so." Ava nodded at his response.

"What's a girl like you drivin all alone for anyway?" He gave her a questioning look. It was something he usually asked most people that he drove to Ambrose.

"I was on my way to Baton Rouge for a few days before heading down to New Orleans." She bit her lip and gave a nod, accepting her own answer.

"Sounds like fun." Lester gave her a small glance. "Whatchu heading down there for?" He asked.

"Not really anything in particular, I was hoping I'd get to play a bit of music though." She explained truthfully. It felt nice to talk to someone that wasn't making her food or giving her directions.

"Music?" Lester's ears perked up in interest. "You some sort of musician?"

Ava chuckled. "Yeah! Guitar and a bit of singing here and there. Nothing big though. I've been jumping from metal band to metal band since I was a teenager and nothing really stuck. After the last one I wanted to start new and decided hitting the road would be an interesting idea."

"Metal huh? That's pretty badass. But I shoulda guessed that from lookin' atcha." Lester smirked at what he felt was a very smooth response. Ava once again began to feel hot at his words.

She took the time to look around Lester's truck. It was quite dirty. Behind her were some odds and ends from different animals hanging in the back window. She could see some things like tails, bones, and feet but some she couldn't really identify. Lester looked over at her, a bit nervous.

"You a hunter?" She asked, she lent forward across from Lester to nudge a couple bones that were hanging from some string by his head near the windshield. They made a satisfying clattering sound. She nudged them again. Lester could feel how close she was, so close he could smell her. She smelled of vanilla and some sort of shampoo and her breath of mint that cascaded over his face. His grip on the steering wheel tightened.

"S-somethin' like that, yeah. Mostly just clearin' roads of whatever critters decided to drop. Gotta clear em up before they rot or the sun just bakes em, real nasty stuff." He felt he said more than he needed to for some reason.

"That's pretty cool!" A smile tugged at her lips as she sat back in her seat, he was already missing the closeness of her body.

He chuckled. "That ain't usually the reaction I get but thank ya. It ain't much but it pays the bills."

"Well someones gotta do it, right?" She said as she looked out the passenger side window at her surroundings. They were still driving on the same dirt road only the trees seemed to get more dense as they drove. She played with the hem of her long shirt. Absentmindedly pulling it down and up her thighs. Lester's eyes glanced at the movement as she played with the material. His hungry eyes traveled up from the clunky boots on her feet and up her pale legs, stopping at her chubby thighs. Lester felt that those tights looked real good on those cute legs of hers. They suited her. It took every ounce of his willpower to not reach over and give one of them a tight squeeze.

Ava's eyes moved to scan through the windshield and then to the man next to her. She could tell he was obviously looking at her cause he quickly turned his attention back to the road ahead. A shine by his waist caught her attention as the sun shone through the window. The light was bouncing off of the handle of what looked to be a large hunting knife strapped to his belt. This made her a little nervous. Lester could sense her staring and looked to see where she was looking, it was his knife.

"Oh you like that?" He pulled the knife out of the sheath and flicked it around in his fingers. The blade was rusted and dirty. Specks of what she hoped was animal blood littered the large blade. She couldn't tell what his intentions were with pulling out his knife like that. Was he not aware that a strange man pulling out a knife when a car with a young lady might be seen as absolutely terrifying? Ava was a bit freaked out. Was he trying to intimidate her? She quickly thought on her feet. She reached down into her boot and pulled out her own trusty blade. It was a black handled locking folding blade with a silver clip and a 5 inch silver blade with a hole near the middle for opening.

She flicked the blade open and thrusted it out towards Lester.

"I have one too!" The excitement in her voice was partially fake, trying to assert some dominance over the situation. She also did feel a bit excited to show someone one of her prized possessions, and to someone who would probably understand no less.

Lester was a bit dumbfounded, sliding his own knife back in its sleeve. Never in his years of driving people into Ambrose did he ever have a pretty girl pull out a knife like this. The way her hands wrapped around the handle meant she knew how to use it. The spotless metal of the blade reflected the sunlight like a clear lake in the summertime. He could also tell it was recently sharpened and polished from the shine on the edge.

Lester looked back and forth from the knife, to Ava, and the road. "Well ain't that a pretty thing ya got there. Boyfriend get that for ya?"

Ava scoffed. "No way, I bought this for myself a few years back to replace my old one."

Lester felt himself grinning from ear to ear. He was really starting to like this girl. "Well, it's a real nice piece." He smiled at her which she responded with a smile of her own. The fear she felt earlier had dissipated as she closed the knife and slid it back in her boot. The man felt genuine, like he didn't want to scare her but maybe just didn't understand some social cues super well. She kind of wanted to spend more time with Lester, the man with the handsome southern accent.

Sadly her time with him was up and Lester pulled up to the end of the road, which was partially blocked by trees.

"Here we are." Lester put the truck in park and got out of the truck, Ava following his actions. He stood leaning over the open door.

"You're gonna have t'walk the rest of the way. The entrance is washed out here. It aint much farther though, 'bout 5 minute walk from here." He pointed towards the section of road that wasn't blocked with trees. "Through there and to the right, keep walkin' till ya see "Bo's Garage", can't miss it."

Ava walked out in front of the truck and turned back towards him.

"Thank you so much for the ride, Lester. I'm sorry there isn't anything I can give you in return." Lester waved his hands at her.

"No trouble on my part, hun. Just get yourself goin'." Lester cursed himself for what he had just called her. He had only known her for just short of a half hour and he called her that. Ava's smirk told a different story.

"Well if you insist." She did a small bow in appreciation and waved. "Thank you again!" She turned around to walk off in the direction of town where his brother lay in wait. He watched parts of her intently as she walked through the entrance and made a right turn. When she was out of his view he grabbed a handheld radio from his truck door and pressed the button to talk.

"Bo, you there?" Lester asked.

"Yeah, whatchu want?" The voice of Bo the mechanic came through the radio.

"Just dropped off a young lady, she's walkin' into town now."

"She alone?"

"Yeah…" Lester's voice trailed off. He was a bit disappointed that by the end of the night she would be stuck in Ambrose forever. She wouldn't be looking nearly as good as she did right now. Vincent would strip her of her clothes and cover her already smooth skin in not as smooth wax. Her tattoos would be covered up and he would never get to trace his fingers along them like he wanted or run his hands over her thighs.

"Lester you fuckin' dolt you still there!?" Bo's angry voice came through the radio, he seemed to have spaced out a bit.

"Don't hurt her." He said shyly.

"What?" Bo was beyond confused. "Are you fuckin' serious?" Lester hesitated before speaking again.

"Yes I'm serious, you don't hurt that girl." Bo chuckled.

"And why is that?" Lester was unsure of what to say, he was confused when Bo laughed. What he said next made his face burn.

"Now I see why you little fuckin' pervert."

☾ notes: im finally putting out my first fic with my OC! This takes place in the same universe as rottent33th's OC Ellie and the-pinstriped-hood's OC Percy.

☾ tag list: @rottent33th @cries-in-latino @vincent-sinclair-deserved-better @the-pinstriped-hood @allthingsblood

message me if you want to be added to my tag list!

#oc #oc ava #house of wax #house of wax 2005 #Lester sinclair #slashers #slasher fic #slasher fucker #Avana Walker x Lester Sinclair #angels of ambrose au

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corujalesbica · 1 year

Text

After the nightmare

It was a cold Friday night when Eddie left his trailer to go to Wheeler's house. Yeah , he was late to the end of the campaign, but he could deal with the little shits complaints later. In the moment , he was smoking a cigarette , wondering if nights like this were truly real. Quiet was uncommon for him. There was always a party to sell drugs at , some rock to listen too or a D&D game to play. It wasn't bad , it was just... different.

By the time he got there , Dustin and Lucas were already arguing while Mike talked to his girlfriend. The new kid , Will Byers , was drawing something. He had never been to the Wheler's basement , mainly because his parents wouldn't approve of a guy like him there , but they were out of town for the weekend with their youngest kid. And because the rest of the party wasn't coming, the teens insisted on the game being there. Eddie agreed , after all , it wouldn't be that bad to see everyone again.

It had been a few weeks since Mike's girlfriend aka super power girl defeated Vecna. He had talked about it with the other survivors. Even tried writing his fucking feelings down. At least in form of music. 'Cause shit. He was a survivor of something now. Sometimes he could see it all again at random. Like he would just be walking and it was like the world went dark and he could see blood. But the nightmares were always worse. So real. And so , so fucking scary.

It was weirdly nice though , to know that other people would always understand what happened like he did , and be there for him. Sice it all happened , they got together a lot of times To support each other , to cry and to laugh. He felt... cared about. And he always loved to see Harrington.

It was no secret that Eddie was the towns weirdo. Would it be so crazy to add queer to the long list of reasons why people didn't like him ? I mean , not that they knew. Even for him that was too dangerous. He usually had crushes on girls and boys that he kept for himself. It was just easier to be a lone wolf. And also more metal , he thought.

But Steve was somehow different. He was close in a way Eddie didn't quite understand. Caring like no other boy he'd met in his life. And so very fucking handsome. Ever since the beginning, since he'd met the actual Steve Harrington and not the asshole everyone painted him as , Eddie had the urge to get to know him. To talk to Steve. To touch him.

When he entered the basement , it took people a few seconds to realize it. When they finally did , Dustin shouted :

_ Finally! If we were waiting any for you any longer, the Demorgogon would've gotten here first and killed us.

_ Haha, very funny , kid, joking about the monster that nearly killed you a dozen times.

_ Why are you late again , anyway ? _ Mike asked.

_ None of your business. You should be more worried about how your characters are gonna defeat what I'm throwing at you today.

When he said that , they did share a worried look. But before anyone could say anything else , Eddie decided to ask :

_ Where are the grown ups ? I only see you brats here.

_ Nancy and Robin are in her room, Steve brought me here but he is upstairs watching TV or something. And Jonathan is outside smoking with Argyle. _ Dustin said, sitting down.

_ Well , well , well. Guess I'll go talk to my fellow babysitters while you guys set up the game.

Without waiting for a response, he went upstairs wondering how he didn't see Steve in the living room when he came in.

_ Hey Stevie. _ He nodded in his direction.

_ Hey , man.

The silence lasted for about two seconds. Then they started talking about Dustin and the gang , joking and complaining. Eddie loved interacting with him , because he always listened, no matter what they were talking about. People who did that were rare.

After some time chatting with him , he finally went back to the basement and six hours later , still not finished with the campaign, they called it quits for the night because Dustin fell asleep on top of Lucas.

Apparently they were all gonna spend the night there , and Eddie (a litle hurt for not being invited ) started mentally preparing for his walk back , since his uncle was with the car. But Steve offered him a ride since he was taking Robin anyways. It was past midnight and Eddie didn't wanna end up eaten by an upside down monster , not after all they went through to kill Vecna , so he took it.

Robin and Steve spent the whole time arguing with each other. They were so close they seemed like siblings which was kind of cool, Eddie guessed. He would join the conversation uninvited every now and then due to his lack os capability to shut up ever.

When they got to Robin's house , he was nearly falling asleep in the backseat of the car.

_ Hey , are you alright ? _ Steve looked at him worried.

_ I'm good , I'm good. Just not excited to go back to the trailer just so I can have nightmares and shit dude.

_ Oh _ He paused. _ I've been having lots of nightmares too. Maybe...

_ Maybe what ?

_ Nevermind.

_ Don't you dare leave me curious , Harrington. I get enough of that trying to figure it out if Dustin's got a real girlfriend or not , babe.

_ Well , I was just thinking you know... Since you're alone , and I'm alone tonight and we both have been having bad nightmares why don't you stay at my place for the night ?

Eddie considered the offer. It wouldn't be bad to have company. The trailer was unusually quiet because his uncle was traveling. What the hell? A cute boy was inviting him to his house. Who was he to say no ?

_ Yeah , that doesn't sound bad.

_ Alright then.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Steve tried to not say anything while he listened to Eddie rant about this new song a band had released or something. What was he doing ? What was fucking happening to him ? His heart was racing and he felt this weird kind of warm feeling when he thought about Eddie. It was almost like the feeling he had before, when looking at Nancy. But Nancy never looked at him the way Eddie did. He tried to take a deep breath. Steve though Eddie was a nice person , so he was just trying to protect this nice person from nightmares that he knew were terrible. Just that. Right ?

It was one a.m. when they got to his house. He unlocked the door and entered, spreading his arms.

_ Welcome to the Harrington's home. _ He paused _ Or just one Harrington since my parents are never fucking here.

_ Not bad , not bad at all. Do you fancy people have anything to drink around here ?

_ Of course.

They drank their beers watching TV and chatting. He was still impressed at how natural it was interacting with Eddie. He always thought it would be awkward, but it never was. It was nice. But... Steve kind of wanted more. He was painfully aware of Eddie's hand lying beside him. His voice cracked when he laughed, like he couldn't contain the joy. It was getting late, and Steve was tired. He was also tired of pretending his feelings weren't real , just because other people might not like them. Maybe it was time to do something.

So in a wave of courage, he turned to Eddie , leaned in and...

_ Where are we gonna sleep ? I don't mind sleeping on the sofa, but I'm assuming you have a room.

_ Hum , yeah. I mean, yes, I do. _ Steve laid back again. _ Do you wanna.... Hum, go upstairs?

_ Sounds good to me.

Steve was pissed with himself. What was he fucking thinking ? He was just gonna kiss Eddie Munson ? And then what ? They couldn't date, could they ? He was something of a popular guy who found out he didn't have to be , and found people who loved him beyond that. And Eddie... Eddie was the outcast. The drug dealer , the rock and roll guy and according to pretty much everyone , a bad influence.

He was so much more than that, though. When they talked , Steve could see how passionate he was about absolutely everything. It was almost beautiful to see him talk about what he loved. One day , Steve hoped he would talk about him that way, too. And the way Eddie was himself so much and showed it ? Like to not be who he was would hurt him way more than the bigoted townsfolk ever could. Steve was fascinated by that and even envied it a little.

They sat on his bed , now both in this awkward silence.

_ So...

_ So... Do you have a spare mattress I can sleep in ? Or maybe a guest room since this place is so fucking huge ?

_ Hum , yeah, actually, I have both. But hum...

_ Sad you can't use the "there's only one bed" thing to sleep near my amazing self , Harrington?

Actually he was.

_ I just thought we both would have fewer nightmares if we slept in my bed. You know , knowing someone's there and all that shit. But whatever, man.

_ No , no , no. _ Eddie said , his eyes widening like he was surprise with the answer _ I would be very much pleased to sleep near your majesty , Steve Harrington, King of Hawkin's High. I think he is kind of cool, and not that much of an asshole.

_ Is that so ? _ Steve responded, smirking . Then maybe I should say that Eddie Munson, the Hawkin's High one and only freak , is kind of a cool person, too. Is he a weirdo? Oh yeah , but that's what makes him cool.

Eddie paused at that , like no one had ever told him that he was cool (which was probably not true since his D&D party adored him so much) and all of a sudden, the room was warmer and Steve felt electricity running through his veins. Probably 'Cause Eddie freaking Munson grabbed his shirt and kissed him.

It was obviously an impulsive decision, but by the time Eddie could've stopped to think about that, Steve was kissing him back. Eddies hands on his shoulder and his on Eddies hips. He thought he could stay the rest of his life like that. And he was so glad Eddie kissed him , when he had the courage to fight monsters but not to kiss his a guy.

There was no super romantic declaration or conversation about it at that moment. They were too tired , besides , they understood each other like others couldn't. They knew. So they fell asleep in Steves bed. Yes it was a cold night after a devastating adventure. But they were warm under the blankets , hugging, and while they had each other, things would be at least ok.

While Steve had Eddie's smile and passion around him and Eddie had Steves caring and brave personality near him, they would make it day by day. Apart from the fact that they didn't know one another for that long, their love was as unstoppable as it was unpredictable and would burn for as long as the stars in the Hawkin's night sky would shine.

_ By Robin to @tragedy-at-its-peak , love you tons

#steddie fanfic #steddie #tragedy at its peak #also not my finest work but it was made with all the love i have for my bestie and then some #ill review it when i can and probably change some parts but for now thats kinda it cause im caught up on other stories

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notasapleasure · 9 months

Note

I'm asking aLL THE FIC WRITER MEMES!!! in reverse order from current WIP back through your published works

Omg thank you, you mad man! But you know now I’m wondering just how much homework you set your actual students… ^^;

So I’ve chosen to interpret this in a very literal way. I started with the bottom ask and applied it to the current WIP, and worked backwards through my fics as I went up the list. I didn’t answer any of the ones that needed a trope or ship picking, but am still open to being asked if anyone wants!

★ what was the scene you most wanted to write in [fic]? what was the hardest scene to write?

(Whumptober 2022 day 31: Comfort | Bedside Vigil | “You can rest now.”) The whole thing is really just one scene, but it really did epitomise the eternal problem with writing Francis/Jerott, which is how do you get them to stop being smart with each other and just. Open up a little? Of course this opening up is also the scene I want most to write at any given time. Though any and all Jerott whump makes my horrible little gremlin brain happy, so to be able to include various flashbacks to times Jerott was having an even worse day was fun. And Francis feeling guilty about the kiss in Anemone was also fun >:} But I think finishing this one was hard. I wanted to push for more intimacy between them but that isn’t where either of them is at this point, but Francis’ care for Jerott even in his disappointment – AND VICE VERSA – is honestly one of my favourite things about Checkmate, so it was trying to do that justice while keeping them in-character.

✿ did anything major change when you started writing [fic] to when you finished?

(Only Ever Just One Night). I initially thought I’d write follow-up chapters. I had a mean little desire to whump Brasso and have Cassian get him out of a Situation. But it would have meant Plot, which I never fully managed to figure out, and then I got distracted writing lead-up smut to the friends-with-benefits situation instead. But on the whole what’s posted wrote itself really easily – it’s often the way with my first fic in a new fandom, all the initial impressions and headcanons come gushing out before I can start making problems for myself by overthinking.

☉ what do you do when you get stuck writing?

Ahhh, sulk? Nah, it doesn’t happen too often, and usually I manage to knuckle on through. A tried and tested method is a two hour bath lol. Lock the door, turn my music on, nothing to do except figure out that tricky bit of bridging. Usually results in fewer words than it feels like, but gets me through sections I’m struggling with. Also just leaving gaps and continuing to write the bit I want to write, knowing I can go back and join things together later. Making a playlist to remind myself of vibes helps, too.

✄ what’s your editing process?

I re-read quite a lot and tinker with things as I go. I quite like editing (good job as I do it all day), and I like seeing things come together, but I am awful at kill your darlings. I’m writing for fun so I just leave it all in – ‘sure this might not be relevant relevant but it adds fLAvourrrr!!’ I will stick a bunch of line-breaks in or use highlighting/bold to remind myself that a section doesn’t read well or needs adding to, though, and try to go back and figure it out before I let myself continue much further.

✦ what was your easiest fic to write & your hardest?

Some of the Whumptober days were like pulling teeth and I think it shows. I think the sweet spot is when I have a pretty clear idea of vibes and outcome and it’s not had the chance to outgrow containment – some scenes (e.g. the chapters at the summer house in Inchoate) lie in wait in my head and when I get to that part of the fic they practically write themselves (sometimes it’s nice stuff, sometimes it’s DDDNE, but it’s basically kind of scene or action with a concrete beginning and ending). But often fitting these scenes in – what comes just before and after – is a nightmare. And like. Yeah ok, I could just write one-shots of the scenes I want to write without the thousands and thousands of words of context but – and you might have noticed this – I am a CONTEXT FIEND. In terms of stand alone fics it’s like I said above about Only Ever Just One Night – fresh in a new fandom and determined-to-get-my-thoughts-down fics are usually dead easy to write.

✎ how do you think readers would guess a fic was yours if you posted anonymously?

Ah this one’s easy: it would be LONG. Probably at least three times as long as it needed to be. For a long time very little would happen, but the minutest detail of everyone’s body language would be described and everyone would probably be in denial about their emotions/circumstances. Most likely they would fuck nasty about it.

♡ pick a fic and I’ll pick a comment that made me really happy

(Escape Velocity) Well OF COURSE I am happy the person it was dedicated to left lovely comments. But especially where you picked up on Brasso being worried about flying in ships because he knows how to take them apart, and even more especially the idea of Cassian ‘stealing’ Brasso temporarily at the moment it’s paralleling the light on Kassa’s face when he leaves Kenari :’) it’s especially pleasing when readers pick up on stuff like that.

▵ pick a fic and I’ll tell you my favorite line

(Counting on You) Still a wip, so subject to change, but I’m very pleased with ‘something crueller than punishment - the certainty that Cass is loved’ and utterly delighted that @elwenyere picked it out in a comment <3

♫ send a fic and i’ll make a 3-5 song playlist for you

(Brassian saga au) Thankfully I already have a 3 hour playlist for the vibes, so to cherry pick some essentials, here we go…

Kate Bush – Get Out of My House Sam Lee – The Devil & the Huntsman Björk – Pagan Poetry Nikniume – Nonantzin Anna B. Savage – Crown Shyness

#asks #ask memes #fic asks #my writing #my fics

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