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eleganzadellarosa · 1 month

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Can’t Do It Like Me

pairing: jealous ex!choi san x fem!reader

genre: Smut (you already know)

warnings: MDNI (rough sex, jealous sex, cheating (don’t condone it but it fits the plot), choking, manhandling, slight spit play, oral (m and f receiving), mirror sex, unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap your willy), squirting, daddy kink, degradation, honestly some toxic shit happens)

word count: 4.1K+

A/N: As soon as I think of it, I come straight to Tumblr. Also San if you see this, I’m sorry 😔 Anyways, enjoy and thanks for reading :)

Every year like clockwork you had to be reminded of a past relationship that could’ve been something special. The notification popping up on your phone “Remember this day?” Yes. You did remember and you wish you could forget but you also couldn’t find the strength to delete the pictures.

Choi San. The man you described as “husband material” at some point in time, only to recall the many moments of toxicity that lead to the breakup. From the distrust to watching your location like a movie, he was possessive and sometimes even that was an understatement. He made sure everyone knew you were his and almost got into a few fights over it.

Eventually, you opened your eyes to how you always excused his behavior and finally put your foot down. You deserved a healthy relationship with a person who strives for the same thing. You were glad San wasn’t in your life anymore, he made it too stressful.

But at the same time, you missed him. Sometimes at night when your hands were between your legs, you'd think about him. You loved your current boyfriend, he was just what you were looking for. But with the recent growing distance in your relationship, maybe all good things in your life were destined to come to an end. He was always away for work, only coming home to see you maybe once every two months or so. A year into the relationship is when things started to change and now that it’s going on two years, you constantly felt alone and your vibrator wasn’t strong enough to keep you sane.

Your phone was ringing; a facetime call.

“Omg hey babe, to what do I owe this spontaneous phone call?”

He chuckled before answering, “Hey baby, I’m just calling to ask you a quick question.” He proceeded when you nodded your head. “Are you busy this weekend? The company’s having a joint event with another company and I may need a plus one.” The tone of his voice inflected upwards as he neared the end of his sentence.

Your heart jumped with excitement. Of course it wasn't a logical comparison to how much he loved you, but you felt the need to be paraded around; labeled as "his girlfriend". You haven't been feeling special recently, so a public event would hopefully be the perfect remedy.

“Oh my gosh babe of course I'm not busy! I’ll go choose my outfit right now!” He let out a hearty laugh on the other end when you squealed, jumping off the bed, leaving him to listen to you rustle around in your closet.

You quickly retrieve your phone when you remember and say your “I love yous” and goodbyes before hanging up. Saturday was only two days away so you’d need to put together the perfect outfit within that time frame. Luckily for you, you owned the perfect dress in his favorite color and your only goal was to make him want to completely ruin you wherever he pleases.

It was disappointing to say the least. Everything about this ride felt expensive. The limo itself, the sparking Swarovski detailing on the interior, the bottles of champagne. You felt wined and dined, but the thing you craved the most was missing. He seemed distant in a way. Maybe it was his body language; sitting with his legs turned away from you, dazing into the space behind you as you spoke. Or perhaps, it was the way his hand gripped his phone and peeked at it every time it'd buzz with a notification.

"Maybe he's always been like this" you tell yourself, blaming it on having not been around each other in a while. The thought of the both of you drifting away, tearing at the seams, was saddening. But you definitely weren't the one to blame and neither was he; maybe his determination and drive. As much as you wanted to be here with him right now, your mind kept drifting to San. He would be giving you his undivided attention. A hand or your knee, or knowing San, a seat in his lap. But enough about him, he was too toxic of a person for you to only recall his good traits.

buzz buzz

You looked at your boyfriend from a peripheral view, a bright smile across his face. It made your stomach churn, it just didn't sit right with you.

"Oh who's that?" you ask, leaning over toward him slightly.

He quickly shut it off and put it in his pocket. "Sorry babe, I was just answering a few texts from the guys. We have this group chat with all of us just so we can talk shit about my boss."

"Oh is he an asshole or something?"

"Yes but enough about my job baby, I wanna hear more about you. I missed you so much." He cupped your chin in his hand and planted a kiss on your lips.

You felt bad for thinking so ill of him when nothing was going on. Maybe that was something you never let go of with your relationship with San. He taught you what real anxiety was and you could never forgive him for that. The limo came to a stop and you peeked out the window to your right to see the destination. You felt like a movie star as you gazed at the long staircase in front of the building. You imagined each side lined with paparazzi, ready to take pictures of the beautiful couple exiting their limo.

Your door opened before you realized you had been daydreaming. Your boyfriend extended his hand for you to grab hold and finally walk up into the venue for the night. The inside was just as gorgeous as the outside. Chandeliers, marble flooring, expensive art lining the walls; the whole nine yards. When everyone comes into view, his arm is immediately around your waist. He introduced you to his colleagues and even to his boss which made you chuckle thinking back on the secret he told you about earlier. Everything was going well for you, yet for someone else, things were moving in a terrible direction.

San spotted you from across the large space, the conversation he was having fading completely the more he watched you. His jaw shifted and clenched seeing your boyfriend with his arm around your waist and hand on your ass. He didn’t deserve you. Sure San knew he wasn’t always the best boyfriend to you, but he could do so much better than whatever your boyfriend was attempting. Based on how giddy you looked, you probably haven’t seen him or spent much time with him lately, or so San thinks.

He remembers like yesterday hearing you tell him that you couldn’t be with him if he didn’t change, and at the time he couldn’t understand what that meant. He thinks he’s matured since then, at least in the way you wanted him to but seeing another man touch you made him realize maybe he has a lot more growing to do if he wanted to stay true to his claims.

He excused himself and made his way over to you. There was nothing wrong with going to talk to his absolutely beautiful ex girlfriend right? Your eyes widened seeing the broad shoulders clad in white approaching you. Your stomach twisted in knots, from both anxiety and flashbacks of your last encounter with him.

“Fancy seeing you here gorgeous.” San reached his point of interest, staring down the man at your side.

“San…how wonderful it is to see you.” You spoke with a forced smiled, trying your best to slow your heart rate. “How’s life treating you?”

It really was quite the surprise seeing him here, as this was the last place you thought to be bumping into him. It got you thinking what this event was for and how the hell he was even invited. Maybe, as you were, he was just someone's plus one. Although, that didn’t take away from the fact that you didn’t want to see him right now, especially knowing how weak you were for him still.

“Hmm it could be better if a certain someone was still in it.”

At that, your boyfriend turned to San, lip turned up in annoyance, “Do you know this guy babe?”

He and San exchanged fighting glances and you stepped in before things could get heated. “Yeah he's…an old friend. This is San.” You weren't sure why you lied, but it felt better to not reveal too much.

Your boyfriend extends his hand out to San reluctantly and San rolls his eyes before finishing the handshake. Things went well for the most part, although you would catch San staring at you, even throwing in a wink one of the times. Luckily your boyfriend caught none of it, knowing it definitely would have engaged his fight or flight response.

After a while, your boyfriend received a call on his phone and he excused himself saying it was important. You dismissed it and he gave you a kiss on the cheek before he walked away. San caught glimpse of the interaction and sneakily followed behind him through the heavy back doors. You stood by yourself at the table, taking small sips of your champagne. A hand slides across the small of your back and rests on your left hip. You turned expecting your boyfriend, only to see San with an unreadable expression. You tried to sidestep out of his hold but he tightened his grip on you.

“Hey don’t leave yet, we haven’t even gotten the chance to really talk beautiful.”

“Yeeeah…San we can’t be doing this right now.” You put a hand up to his chest and he backs away slightly.

“Doing what? Talking? He won’t let you talk to your friends?”

You scoffed, “No, he’s not controlling. And we’re not friends. It’s just I don’t know how comfortable I am talking to my ex who just put his arm around me.”

He rolled his eyes again, shifting his stance to prop a hand on the table, leaning against it to look at you. “Hmm well part of me thinks he doesn’t care.”

If only he wasn't starting to piss you off, you could finish admiring how good he looked. Wider shoulders, more defined arms and even his pecs were bigger. But you knew San and how he was when it came to you. He was possessive, sometimes it was for your own good but most times it just felt like he needed control over you in every way or he wouldn’t survive.

But you had to admit, that was his only flaw. Everything else about him was absolutely mind blowing, especially when it came to satisfying your needs. Your mind ran wild with thoughts. Thoughts of things you shouldn’t be thinking of as a taken woman. Yet, San making eye contact and the firmness of his chest under your hand earlier flooded you with memories of every time he’s fucked you into the mattress.

This was starting to get a bit out of hand and you weren't sure what else San had up his sleeve.

"You look good in your dress." He said looking you up and down, practically eating you with his eyes.

Come to think of it, he was the first to comment on your dress, your boyfriend hadn't mentioned it at all tonight. "Thank you, you also look very nice." You averted your eyes as you took another sip from the glass.

He stood up straight and stood a bit closer to you and rubbed a hand down your back as he leaned in to whisper in your ear, catching you off guard. It made it ten times worse with your dress being backless and the fabric dipping dangerously close to the waistband of your lace panties.

"If I were him, I'd take you somewhere to fuck you in it. Makes me wonder who he could be on the phone with right now. Think about it, if it were me, I would have my hands all over you.”

He was right. It was a fear that seeped into your subconscious every time he would miss one of your calls and blame it on work and how he acted in the limo earlier. He was starting to feel more than an arm's reach but you knew his job was demanding. So when he asked you to come out with him tonight, you decided to forget it all and allow yourself to have a great time and hope you would end your night moaning his name.

You hated San for bringing the thought back to you and you hated that his possessive personality was also a turn on at times but you knew better than to let yourself fall in his traps. A blush grew on your cheeks feeling the warmth of his breath tickle your ear. This was bad, you needed to stop him in his tracks before your boyfriend came back and questioned you. This had to end right here right now.

You pushed him into the nearest room, one you didn’t expect to be a bathroom, but anywhere was fine as long as no one saw where you went and with who. You carefully locked the door and turned to face him; he already had that arrogant smirk on his face.

“San what the hell?!” You shoved him on the chest. “I was hoping you weren’t going to cause any trouble, but I guess I was wrong. Why do you want to fuck up everything for me?”

He rolled his eyes and scoffed, “Are you even happy? You melted right into my touch earlier.” He walked closer to you, pinning you between him and the sink. “I didn’t say anything wrong either, he's a joke of a boyfriend whether you want to admit it or not.”

You rolled your eyes and scoffed, "Oh what? you think you can do better?"

He stared down at you, face contort in a stern expression. “I know I messed things up for us, but I think we can both agree that he doesn’t deserve you.” He grabs your hand and slides it down his chest, all the way down to his crotch.

“Feel that? You miss it don’t you? He must not fuck you good enough. He must not fuck you how I used to.”

“San…” he put a finger to your lips.

“Oh baby…I can see it written all over your face. Just ask me and I’ll give you what you want.” He steps even closer to you and tilts your chin up with his finger. “Say you’re my slut and I’ll fuck you better than he ever could.” He lifted you and sat you on the edge of the sink.

So much for not falling into his traps. You looked up at him with doe eyes and he looked down waiting for your answer. “I’m your slut…San please…” you were damn near out of breath and your head was spinning with how badly you wanted it; wanted him.

A pleased smile spread on his face. “My good girl, I knew you could do it.” His fingers tapped onto your lips and you happily sucked on two while he kept eye contact. He took them from your mouth and used them to rub slow circles on your clit. “Good girls kiss daddy.”

He lowered his lips onto yours, immediately slipping his tongue into your mouth. Your tongues danced together as he slipped his fingers into you. He wasted no time pumping them quickly against your sensitive spot, earning whines and whimpers.

“You need to forget him for a while and let me make up for all the shit he can’t do.” He spread your thighs and kneeled down between them. “I want you to remember this next time he even thinks he can do better than me.”

He kept eye contact while he licked along the slit of your still clothed pussy, stopping to suck harshly on the clit. You were holding your breath, your last resort for trying to keep in your moans. He hasn’t done much and your toes were already curling. He finally pushed your panties to the side and circled his tongue over your bundle of nerves.

Your hands tangled in his hair, pushing him closer to you, bucking your hips slightly against his face. He grabbed your legs and made them rest against his broad shoulders, your heels digging into his back. He added a finger into the mix, breaching your walls in an attempt to get you louder. Surely it was working more than you'd have liked.

Your head leaned back almost hitting the mirror as your chest heaved. Your toes curled and you pulled harshly at his dark locks making him groan against your skin. He sat up and roughly rid you of your panties before shoving them in his pocket.

“You don’t need these anymore. On your knees.” The way he said it gave you no room to disobey, so you shakily hopped off the sink and he pushed you down onto your knees. He unzipped his pants, letting his dick pop free. Thick and heavy looking as always and now you wanted nothing more than to wrap your lips around it. He grabbed your chin in his hand, “Open.”

You opened your mouth to let him spit in it, he loved messy head and he knew you did it best. He wasted no time in shoving his dick into your mouth and almost down your throat. He gathered your hair in his fist and bobbed your head at a quick pace.

“Go ahead, touch that pussy while I fuck your throat. Don’t stop until I tell you to.”

He knew how much you loved to be dominated, it was easy for him. The look of you on your knees gagging on his dick only made him harder and want to fuck your throat faster, but he wouldn’t be satisfied if you left this bathroom before he got to bend you over.

He pulled you off of him admiring the tears brimming your eyes and the puffiness of your lips. It was crazy to think that your boyfriend was the one sleeping next to you every night and San’s bed was empty. He deserved you more than some man who he found saying “I love you” on the phone with another woman. He deserved to fuck all your worries away. If you gave him a second chance, he would do better. Better than anyone else ever could. You were his forever and you seemed to have forgotten that, but he didn’t mind reminding you.

“Bend over the sink.” He kissed along your spine when you did, your eyes closing in ecstasy. “You ready for this dick?” He was so close, lips ghosting over your ear sending shudders down your back.

As soon as the word “yes” left your mouth, you felt the head of his dick rub harshly between your folds. Your chest felt tight, your heart was beating fast and you could barely keep your eyes open. He kissed in the crook of your neck making you look at him through the mirror as he slid in until he bottomed out. You could cum just from that small movement alone but you’d much rather wait until he fucks you right.

“You missed this didn’t you?” He pulled almost all the way out and slammed back in causing you to yelp from the sudden action. “I missed this pussy…I missed you.” His thrusts sped up to a demonic pace, the wet noises from the constant slapping of skin filled the bathroom effortlessly.

“S-san it feels so good~” you said through moans.

“I know baby, but I’m sad because you’re not using my name.” He used his other hand to wrap around your neck. He squeezed and made you even more lightheaded; It was perfect. “You didn’t forget it did you?”

“N-no Daddy n-never.” It was true and it was why you were never able to use it for your boyfriend. As much as you tried to forget San and how much he consumed your life, it was hard.

He tightened his grip on your hips and rolled his into yours. Of course it was wrong, but this is the most pleasure you’ve felt in a long time; admittedly since the last time you were with San. He had a way of handling you that set your senses on fire. He was exactly what you wanted and with the expectation of getting fucked tonight, you didn’t want to foil your own plans.

“Look how I fit right in. This pussy is mine forever."

He raised one of your legs onto the sink and grabbed a fistful of your hair, continuously plunging into you. Your eyes were rolling back and he patted your cheek, bringing your attention back to him.

“Mm mm, look at you. Look how pretty you look fucked out on my dick. Watch me fuck you just how you like.”

You didn’t want to see yourself in this state, it only made it feel more real. Your tongue lolled out slightly, one strap of your dress draped low on your shoulder and he held one of your breasts roughly. It was a lewd sight to say the least and the sounds that were coming from the speed San was fucking you made it no better.

There was a knock on the door and your head tried to whip in that direction but San tugged harder on your hair. He quickly told the person on the other side of the door that it was occupied, not expecting for them to say anything back.

“Y/N are you in there?” The voice of your boyfriend grated against your ears like nails on a chalkboard. You were guilty and moaning like you were unable to produce any other sound.

San’s eyes darkened and he smiled wickedly. “Oh yes she is and she’s busy.” He leaned forward and whispered in your ear, “Let’s put on a show for him, let him know who owns this pussy.”

He sped up his thrusts and quickly rubbed on your clit. You squirmed in his hold, trying to do everything you could to not scream from the pleasure. Nothing worked and now your boyfriend and maybe several other people could hear what you and San were doing.

“This pussy all for me?” He was an expert with how he rolled his hips into you; he was so deep and repeatedly hitting your sweet spot.

“Fuck Daddy, yes! It feels so good!” Your legs were like jelly and your orgasm was a few more thrusts away.

“You’ll never find someone who can fuck you like this? Who can make you beg for it?”

You whimpered loudly in response. You thought it wasn’t possible but he fucked you harder, fucked you faster and with the abuse on your clit there was no more delaying your bliss. You came hard, squirting onto the floor and partially on the man behind you. Your walls were squeezing him so tightly and he loved every single second.

"You gonna let me cum inside so you can take me home with you, hmm?" His thrusts were getting sloppier but he never slowed down and never stopped rubbing your clit.

The overstimulation and the way he spoke to you was driving you mad, you didn't think about anything else in this moment besides making this a night to remember.

"Yes Daddy fill me up, please please please!" You knew he loved it when you begged, especially for him to empty all his cum in you. Tonight was no different and he came in a few more thrusts.

"You did so well baby, took it so well." He gave you more kisses to your shoulder as he gently pulled out and let go of your leg.

By this time your boyfriend was already banging on the door, demanding that you let him in. San made sure to clean the both of you up before he let you out of his sight. You walked to the door, taking a deep breath as you unlocked it; San close behind. Your boyfriend looked like he could pop at any second with how red his face was.

"Are you fucking kidding me?! You see one old friend and you let him fuck you in the bathroom? IN PUBLIC?!"

He almost shoved at your arm, but San does it to him first. "I don't suggest you follow through with that. And maybe next time you should make sure your girlfriend is happy before you start running your mouth."

"That IS my girlfriend, back the fuck off!"

"Oh her?" San points and quickly glances in your direction. "No, she's mine, I was referring to the one you were on the phone with, but maybe you're already forgetting about her too."

And with that, your now ex-boyfriend had nothing left to say but apologize to you as you walked away with San. Maybe all things did come to an end, but perhaps for good reason.

#san smut #choi san smut #choi san #ateez #ateez fic #ateez x reader #ateez imagines #ateez smut #ateez san

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orteil42 · 8 months

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Between the recent custom buttons post with the pipe bomb and the gamification post with the post -deleting boss fight I'm starting to get absolutely feral over the idea of you making a social media platform.

The companies that run the current options are cowards.

i would honestly love to give it a crack and were i younger and sillier i think i probably would. unfortunately by now i've become a bit too aware that creating a social media website is one of those nightmare projects that is guaranteed to be 500 times more work and trouble than you initially expect, and if i get into that i'd never have time for anything else. i'd also have to deal with hiring an actual team and be an actual company instead of just some guy who codes in his bedroom. and then let's say maybe the website takes off and we get a few thousands of active users. after a while our uptime becomes terrible; people can't log in, posts won't load. tech sites are starting to make fun of us. we have to grow, get bigger servers, hire more people. eventually i'd have to confront the fact that despite my cute take on monetization our social media isn't recouping the growing server expenses and our seed money is drying up and people at the office are starting to bang at my door to get paid. do i pull the plug and throw away everything we've built so far? likely not, even my own ego aside there's too many people's livelihoods on the line. other folks on the team are motivated to make this work, and a feedback loop forms where we start to ever-so-slightly readjust our values if it means we get to survive another quarter. i get more cynical; our ad slots are more and more intrusive, our monetization strategy gets shiftier and more aggressive. we accept funding from less and less savory entities. we start collecting user data beyond simple telemetry. if we've gotten big enough by that point, we may choose to restructure and begin taking on shareholders. this is a deal with the devil, and we now have a fiduciary duty to play nasty and treat our userbase like livestock in order to secure short-term profit. we can't just stop accepting new users; continued growth demands that we throw away what's left of our ethics to accommodate the gargantuan swaths of money that hundreds of thousands of database calls per second require. those of us who disagree with the new direction are gradually nudged away from positions of power. me, i've either been kicked out of my own project a while back or i've adapted to become someone i would've despised a few years prior. this is all assuming the website didn't crash and burn a few months after launch from either my technical shortcomings or my inexperience with management, or maybe just because our site ended up being too niche to really snowball. it is fun to think about tho!

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xxsabitoxx · 2 months

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xxSabitoxx is now archived.

After some heavy consideration over the last few months, I have come to the conclusion that I am going to be archiving xxSabitoxx.

I have poured nearly three years of my life into this blog. I have seen several friends come and go. And most of all, I have been blessed with such a large following that I truly don’t deserve.

However, my love for writing has slowly diminished, just as my love for this site has. I am not going to go into boring detail as I do not want it to seem like I am searching for pity.

But, before I go, it has been brought to my attention that many are displeased with the way I handled a particular anon ask last week. I wanted to take a second to apologize, as I agree that I could have answered that question much more level-headed and maturely. It has since been deleted because I did not like the way I was spoken to, and I especially disliked the way I spoke to them.

I could have responded to that ask in several ways and I chose to be rude, and for that I am sorry.

With that being said, I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs on Tumblr over the last decade under a few other usernames and aliases. I’ve witnessed the steady dumpster-fire decline of Tumblr etiquette and people's genuine disregard for others on here.

I am simply one person with a life outside of the stories I choose to write. I have several priorities that will always outweigh my hobbies.

After all this time, I can say I am finally done. I’m over it. There is no point in putting effort into a hobby I no longer have a passion for. So I am closing this chapter today to start fresh tomorrow.

I cannot begin to thank you all enough for choosing to read my work and support my blog. Whether you’ve been with me since the start or just followed me today, you supported me in some way and I’m forever thankful for that.

I’m deeply sorry I couldn’t do more, and I am especially sorry for those who were waiting on stories that will never be written. I hope you can forgive me but I understand if you can’t.

It has been both a wonderful and terrible journey as xxSabitoxx / May. And as much as I would love to be done with this and simply click the “delete blog” button in my settings – I know many of you enjoy the stories I’ve posted and quite frankly I have grown attached to this blog as well.

So, it shall remain an archive that may one day revive itself but please do not hold your breath. If the day comes that I decide it’s time to delete this blog, I will take the time to move as much of my work as I can over to ao3 before doing so.

So, until we meet again, take care.

- May

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cupid-styles · 6 months

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a good life

in which harry and y/n decide on a name for their baby (with minimal bickering).

I think for now this will be the last blurb I write while y/n is still pregnant</333 going to start expanding to blurbs about them parenting so feel free to send requests in!!!!

word count: 731

content warnings: pregnancy/pregnant y/n

part of the ymls universe

main masterlist | talk to me

. . .

"How about Reign?"

"We're not the Kardashians, Harry."

He resists the urge to roll his eyes as Y/N shoots down another one of his name suggestions, using the ball-point pen to scratch the words out on his list. She glances down at her phone and purses her lips.

"Okay, my next suggestion was May."

"That's cute," Harry murmurs, "Although, I had a cat when I was little named May. She got rabies because we found her on the street. It was kind of traumatizing if I'm being honest."

Immediately, Y/N deletes the name May from her list.

"Do you have any other good ones?" she asks as she leans forward to grasp the cup of tea Harry made her when she got to his place. She's still struggling with not drinking coffee, even though it's been months since she stopped. Harry insists that green tea is a good substitute, but so far, she doesn't believe him.

"I feel like you'll hate the ones I have left," he replies, peering up at her. She shrugs, a silent response of try me. "Alright, the last few that I came up with are: Noel—"

"Cute, but I think it's too Christmas-y."

"—Holly—"

"Are you just really into Christmas-themed names?"

"And Clementine."

She pauses. He can see the gears turning in her brain as she contemplates it, the pad of her finger running over the rim of the ceramic mug in her hands.

"I think I really like that, actually," she says softly. "Clementine. It's sweet."

Harry nods, a jolt of energy firing through him. "Yeah, I was thinking we could call her Clemmie or Clem for short. I don't know, thought it was unique."

"It is," she agrees, her left hand finding her bump, "Are you our little Clementine?"

He smiles. "And I know we decided she'd have Styles as a last name, but I was thinking, since you've always loved having the name middle name as your sister, maybe we could give her the same one. Or maybe the same one as your niece."

Y/N swallows, attempting to get rid of the lump in her throat as she nods quickly. They'd decided on carrying the Styles last name on with her a few months back — she didn't feel very strongly about them all having the same last name, explaining that she would always be her mother regardless of whether or not they shared that. (Harry couldn't agree more.) But she'd only mentioned once or twice that she thought her niece's middle name was adorable, and she liked her family tradition of keeping middle names the same. When she and her sister were younger, it always felt like this little connection they had that no one else did.

"Grace, right?" Harry asks, breaking her out of her thoughts. "Your niece's middle name?"

She nods, "Yeah, Grace."

"Clementine Grace Styles."

"I like it," she says quickly, unable to ignore the tears clouding her waterline, "It's pretty. I really like it."

"Me too. I think Grace fits perfectly."

They stare at each other for a moment, the gravity of finally giving her a name settling in. She's no longer this little nameless fruit floating around in her tummy (although Harry still provided weekly updates on her size — currently, she's a cantaloupe, which is slightly terrifying for Y/N to conceptualize).

"Do you mind if I...?"

Even with the boundaries they've broken, nearing "couple" territory as opposed to platonic co-parenting, he's still extremely cautious of Y/N's boundaries. He never wants to make her feel uncomfortable, especially because he knows she's been on the receiving end of some awful side effects.

But, even if it's a secret she keeps to herself, she really adores when she gets to lay back and watch him talk to her belly.

She nods at his open-ended question and settles against the cozy pregnancy pillow he bought months ago. Gently, he flips her sweater up and presses a chaste kiss right above her belly button, making her shiver.

"We can't wait to meet you, Clementine Grace," he mumbles lowly, "Please give your mummy an easy time for the next two months, okay? She's getting really tired, but she's been so strong. She even lets me sing to you without pushing me away."

Y/N snorts and Harry glances up with a small smile. She raises her eyebrows expectedly, encouraging him to continue.

"Anyway... we're just really excited." his eyes flicker up to hers and she swallows. "I think we're gonna have a good life together."

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gunsandspaceships · 2 months

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Many degrees of Doctor Stark

It is widely known that 616 Tony has several doctorates. The number varies from 3 to 7, but it doesn't really matter whether he is 300 or 700% Doctor. He is one. And he doesn’t use his title 99.999% of the time.

Ok, but what about the MCU?

It is never mentioned whether Tony has a PhD or even a master's degree. Kinda weird. Both the absence of mentions and lack of degrees, since Tony is so smart and productive.

Let’s check, maybe he actually has some.

Here we have a file from a deleted scene from The Avengers (2012):

As we can see, the work is sloppy – there are inaccuracies in his hair color (it’s not black, it’s brown), and the fact that he speaks French was not included. Can we rely on this paper? Let’s not 100%, but we can still use things that don't contradict the movies.

The fact that he received his BS in Engineering from MIT does not contradict this, so we can mark it as valid. He started in 1984 when he was 14 years old and graduated in 1987 when he was 17.

We see no further education in the file. But we know something that this file doesn’t. We watched the movies.

Remember, in Civil War at 0:13:25, in the scene where Tony sees his parents for the last time, Maria tells Howard, “Be nice, dear, he’s been studying abroad”. Tony is 21 here, this is December 16, 1991. Looks like he is on winter break.

But wait… Didn’t he graduate in 1987 and stop then? Well, Maria tells us he continued.

Between 17 and 21 there are 4 years. What could he have done in these 4 years? A lot, right? He is smart and productive, we know that. A master’s degree usually takes 2 years. Tony could earn it in 1. 1 or 2, we still have 2-3 years that we need to fill with some kind of studying. I doubt he just went back and got another bachelor's or master's. That said, he was working on his PhD.

We don't know where. “Abroad” is a very broad concept. Maybe he went to Europe to study at Oxford? We do not know. Perhaps he stayed at MIT and just went somewhere else for the fall semester. We do not know. But he did go somewhere for (most probably) a PhD.

The question is: did he finish it?

Well, his parents died in Dec 1991, and we know from the first Iron Man (0:04:50) that Stane was the interim president of Stark Industries from that date until 1992. Most likely, Tony became CEO before his birthday, that is, May 29, which corresponds to the stated age of 21. He had a few months between.

We don’t know where he was in his degree at that time. But we know he is smart and productive. He doesn’t need 4 years to write a dissertation.

So, there are 2 options:

1) He did not complete his doctorate and devoted himself entirely to the company;

2) He completed it in the few months he had and then took over the company.

Here’s the evidence for the second option:

“Confusing matters more, a recently deleted LinkedIn profile for Tony Stark indicated he received doctorates in engineering physics and artificial intelligence.”

Source: https://alum.mit.edu/slice/who-iron-man

Given all the information and analysis we have, as well as a little logic, we can conclude that Tony has a Ph.D. Even two. He had time to do them. Why doesn't he use his title? Well, maybe for the same reason 616 Tony doesn’t? He doesn’t usually brag. Check out this post if you have any doubts about my statement.

Here are some additional hints:

He gave lectures at scientific conferences (IM1 and IM3 - Bern 1999).

His scientific expertise was not limited to engineering and his company's affairs (all the movies, but specifically I can point you to IM3– the scene with Maya Hansen and her Extremis-enhanced plants in Bern).

“He must have graduated after 1990, because the '90 Brass rat was the first one with the skyline on the edge.” MIT alumni commentary https://alum.mit.edu/slice/who-iron-man

Conclusion (actual): call him Doctor Stark, guys, he deserves it. Despite his modesty about his scientific achievements, Dr Stark has a couple of master's degrees and at least two PhD degrees in the MCU - in engineering physics and artificial intelligence.

#tony stark #iron man #marvel #mcu #the avengers #iron man 3 #captain america civil war #doctor stark

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nipuni · 2 months

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Time for an old school blog post, Hello!

Just various updates about life and shows and clothes and some photos! Adding a read more cut because I talk too much 😊

Happy equinox everyone!! The mild weather has been wonderful for daily park walks. We have been taking our meals outside as often as we can to make the most of it before summer scorches the land and all life. The longer days allow for a lot more wandering too but the imminent return of the heat is also making the longing to move up north worse by the day. We miss the choppy ocean and seaside cliffs 😭 We love the silence and the rain and the nippy sea breeze!! it's like being suspended in early spring for half the year and a rainy autumn the other half, Ideal if you don't mind humidity, but that's what wellies and flat caps are for. We have been looking for properties to rent to show up everyday so for now we lie in wait.

Speaking of nature, a few months ago we discovered a free app called Plantnet that you use to take and upload photos of plants, trees, flowers and it will identify them for you. You keep a log with their locations and can share them too to help contribute to each local biodiversity database. It feels like a pokedex for plants. There are many apps like this one to choose from too. It's been so fun learning what all these plants are called and memorizing them! I recommend it, is like a little educational side quest to take on while stretching your legs and getting some fresh air. This is not an ad I promise lmao I just think it's neat! kind of sad feeling the need to clarify that.

This weather is also making me want to start making outfit posts again! It's been so long since I made any!! my winter wardrobe is mostly long wool coats or capes and boots so the inspiration wasn't there but now I'm ready to pull out all my stuff back from under my bed storage and experiment again 👏 I've also been meaning to share some of Nicolas outfits for ages too so there is more variety, could be fun!

Speaking of clothes, lately I've grown more and more frustrated with how poorly most clothes fit me to the point where I'm considering learning how to make them from scratch. I usually have to take in the tops and hem the bottoms but most things I try on are just built weird even if I fix the size, or maybe I'm built weird! I think it may be both. Nicolas also said he would love to learn along with me so we will probably embark on that adventure soon. OH and on a short tangent, I got myself a sort of binder-like top that flattens the chest a bit and I'm loving it! I'm very flat already but what little bust I do have has always bothered me when I dress and I've found I feel a lot more comfortable in this type of top. I'm glad I tried it out so if you feel similarly you may want to give it a go too, see how it feels!

On the media side of things we have also been watching more of David Tennant's work. We are still very much in love with him to an embarrassing degree, you can probably tell if you follow me anywhere, my likes on twitter alone give me away alksjdf and Nicolas isn't any better! if he used social media his would look the same lmao.

Since my last report we have watched and absolutely LOVED "There She Goes" we already want to watch it again honestly. The family dynamics for all his characters are always so real and refreshing!! Their relationship with their wives especially are always so believable in every series we've seen, the comfort and camaraderie, the banter and just friendship! You can tell they enjoy each other's company, it feels true. I love it so much!!

We also watched "Inside man" which was..a very stressful mess but David was incredible as always, also very hot and very pitiful which is always great, and Stanley Tucci was on it! so that's also fun.

Then we rewatched season one of Good Omens and the first 4 seasons of Doctor Who, with all the extra content like the Confidentials, deleted scenes, video diaries and more, they are just so good!! our list of favourite episodes keeps growing, season four is incredible, we are loving all these seasons even more the second time around!! Now we are probably going to start watching either Classic Who or Torchwood, along with more of David's work. We were trying to pick what to watch during dinner the other day and Nicolas was like 'damn, David is not in this though, I miss him' and lmao same so now we just watch one show without him and one with him right after to cope 😂

OH we have also been doing more historical reenactment! Since the last one in the 20's we jumped back to Regency times. We have been putting our outfits together for a ball soon and hopefully another one in autumn in the UK 😊 1800 is the farthest back in time we've been yet so it's been fun doing research, finding pieces and learning the dances in class but also very hectic. I'll share more about this soon!

Then we also have a couple of 1900 events coming soon, so I'll be sharing more Edwardian looks as well, our favourite era!!

Anyway I think that's all for now, thanks for reading to whoever is doing so!! I know this is long and not a popular blogging format anymore but I enjoy it a lot, maybe some of you do too 🥰 I will reply to some messages soon, I'm so sorry I'm so bad at keeping up with those!! I've read them all and cherish every word 🥺 Thank you for supporting my art and shenanigans as always!! I hope you have a great week!!

#personal #nips photos #DW report #of sorts tho I should swap to DT report at this point lmao #I may need a blogging tag so let's just do #Nips blogs #that should suffice

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dekusheroacademia · 1 month

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Nicholas Light: using homophobia to be cancelled for clout

This is not a call out post, I don't care about that. This is a summary of events that I decided to write because I know how fandom works and behave.

I am tired of seeing people's "The MHA fandom is so toxic!" for events that never happened, and given this youtuber already revealed he is looking for followers through "being cancelled" (as I'll explain), I have no intention of letting the shitshow that happened be forgotten.

So here we go.

Small disclaimer: This is the sequence of events as I remember, with screenshots to add. Please do not harass anyone. Not even Nicholas Light, as he clearly does not want to be involved with the MHA fandom anymore. Block him only and leave him alone, I am serious. The point of this is showing what happened, not confirming his idea of how disgusting mha fans and bakudeku fans are.

Another small point: If I said anything wrong or incorrect in this post, let me know and I will fix it. While I strive to be unbiased, I am only human.

1)Initial tweet

All of this happened in the span of a few hours, the 9th of May 2024, middle of the night at central europe time. All the tweets have since be deleted as Nicholas Light erased a full month of tweets and went private to do so.

Nicholas Light is an anime youtuber with a twitter account (of about 40k followers, this is important later). He posted this tweet:

I saw it on my tl a couple of times, mainly people saying that he should not generalize and people wondering how come someone who has watched MHA for so long does not know about Bakudeku. This tweet per se is kind of bait-y, but nothing too wild.

A lot of his followers were answering to this tweet with homophobic comments like:

And Nicholas himself then wrote he was throwing up under a bakudeku safe-for-work chibi fanart gif that someone reposted:

At this point there were a few comments saying "It is not too bad, Bakudeku has grown a lot as a ship" or "I just saw someone posting Endeavor/Uraraka", and fanart of other ships with an adult and a minor. Nicholas did not reply to any of them, seemingly only focusing on the bakudeku comments.

Here are some examples I managed to recover, as you can see no answer from Nicholas, he was only interested in bakudeku:

2) The video

At this point, a twitter user replied to Nicholas' main tweet with this:

As you can see, the user is very calm and even says "come across as homophobic", so definitely more diplomatic than what I could have managed. Nicholas replied with "Stop with the your queer audience", to which the user revealed that they ARE one of his audience.

As you can see Nicholas repeats that he doesn't want that queer follower in his audience, and that "I SPEAK MY MIND". Keep this in mind, the irony of it, especially, given he has erased everything.

The queer twitter user was the only person he addressed, and immediately after them he wrote this and immediately posted a youtube video:

You can still see his youtube video up, by the way.

This youtuber saw one user replying to him and immediately posted a "I got cancelled for this" youtube video, and a rant of multiple tweets telling his audience "I AM UNAPOLOGETICALLY ME AND I'LL FOREVER SAY WHAT I WANT". He posted another tweet too but I did not screenshot it.

After depicting himself as a victim of being cancelled because one person asked him about how his tweet could be viewed some bakudeku users reacted.

The first to go was the tweet of the video:

The second was this tweet that was written in reply to his main "i don't want a queer audience" tweet:

the tweet is still here.

As you can see if you click on the tweet, the problem expressed is that he built a queer audience to earn money, but is now trying to appeal to homophobic anime audiences to be "cancelled", and earn some followers and money. How do we know this?

Because of this tweet:

This screenshot was taken that same night, so this tweet about "earning from being cancelled" was posted 6 days before he decided to actually try it.

And it is not over. The user andy (the one who revealed about Nicholas' only fans) was immediately blocked, and they were the one finding this "being cancelled= money" tweet and posting it. Imagine what happened: Nicholas immediately deleted this reply from 6 days before. Which meant that he was checking what this bakudeku user was posting to cover his tracks.

3) Lolicon is fictional, but bakudeku is a disease and the fans need therapy

Now let's go back to Nicholas' main tweet in reply to that queer user. You can see how people from his following reacted:

And this was his answer:

You can see that he immediately decides to call the user weird because the characters are "little kids", so the user needs to seek therapy for looking at fanarts of bakudeku kissing.

Except that this is when bakudeku fans and non bakudeku fans found his old tweets in defense of lolicon, fictional pedophilia and people like Mushoku:

Now, the point here is the hypocrisy and double standard.

On one side "loli and fictional children are fictional and cannot be associated with actual crimes", on the other side "gay teenagers being shipped are disgusting and comparable to real life crimes". People were quick to point this homophobic messy double standard.

Nicholas Light himself started to notice that people were finding out his old stuff and he was replying to no one. He first deleted the tweet with the only fans retweet, probably making sure his current homophobic fanbase would not find that, and then replied this to one of the bakudeku fans showing his hypocritical behaviour:

This was the last tweet before he deleted everything. Calling someone an ableist slur, then saying he was watching movies with his girlfriend and then spending the next hour deleting

every

single

and tweet.

And then he went private and when he came back... he had deleted every single reply and tweet of this mess, and he had deleted every tweet that people had screenshotted around, and every tweet he posted in the previous month:

He scrubbed his whole account.

We are not sure what happened to him "being unapologetically myself", apparently his strategy to make some cash from being homophobic and harassing small acounts while pretending to be cancelled did not succeed.

And the reason why I wrote this post is because there is the possibility that he might try this again in the future, maybe even with the same fanbase and strategy. So keep an eye out, do not let him fool you.

#nicholas light #bkdk fandom #fandom drama #meta #bkdk

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 27 days

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AITA for lying to my friends and causing someone to end their life?

🫐☎️🧼

So I can find this later

Trigger warning for suicide.

In this situation I'm aware I fucked up badly multiple times, but I want to know for sure whether I was in the wrong. I went through the FAQ to check that this submission is okay and sorry if there's something disqualifying it I didn catch!

I (minor) was active in an online group where I made some online friends. The group was for preteens, teens, and very young adults (13-21.) I befriended one person, Blueberry (fake name, because emoji) and we became close over a few months. At one point they admitted they had a crush on me I didn't feel the same, but we agreed to stay friends and it didn't affect the friendship.

One thing about this group is that it was aimed at mental health. Me and this person had similar problems with depression and suicidal thoughts (both actively suicidal) and often talked when one of us was in a dark place. When Blueberry turned 18 things took a turn for the worst. Multiple times a week they had panic attacks (they were in the process of getting diagnosed with OCD and bad intrusive thoughts) or crisis and attempted several times. I got overwhelmed. Instead of establishing a boundary like I should have, I started ghosting them for a few hours if it got too bad. It got to the point I'd log on once or twice a day to check in, but instead of ever chatting, the conversation always ended in their next plan to kill themselves. This one was my fault, as we'd had casual convos about this stuff in the main group. I and others did what we could to help, like providing support and helplines. Blueberry did contact many and it saved them lots.

By this point Blueberry had done lots of other risky stuff. They lashed out and blocked a lot of mutual friends, made a fake account to pretend to be a young teen at one point (but deleted it when I asked), and other things. I didn't want to lose them as a friend so I covered for Blueberry when it was exposed. I should point out Blueberry was never mean to me they were really nice. They liked to learn about my interests and complimented me and others lots and I tried to do the same (learn about what they liked, tell them I was happy to hear from them, etx)

Obviously people of the group felt betrayed when they found out Blueberry was catfishing them as this younger teen. In Blueberry's own words, I was "the only one they could trust." Blueberry admitted again that they wanted to be more than friends, but since they were now 18 and I was still a few years younger than them I asked to just be friends because the age gap was uncomfy. They were okay with it. The next day, Blueberry said goodbye to me and deleted their account. I was really upset by this and we talked one last time where I wished them well and said how much I'd miss them but didn't think something was seriously wrong because Blueberry and me had discussed them leaving the group before because it was hurting their mental health.

Later a friend of both Blueberry and me reached out about their behavior the days before they left and some conversations I hadn't seen. All of us are pretty sure they didn't just delete their account—they killed themself. The goodbye message proved this. I was upset and angry that they were dead, said sorry to the group for lying to them about Blueberry catfishing, and left the group.

I think I may be the asshole here because I was really selfish here in not wanting to address Blueberry's really creepy catfishing (pretending to be a young teen, which knowing that they had romantic feelings for me could have led to them befriending people lots younger than them which is bad) because I didn't want to lose the friendship, and also because if I hadn't ghosted Blueberry using mental health as an excuse I don't think they would have killed themselves. If I am the asshole here, what could I do better next time if I have a similar problem again?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

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reinvent-and-believe · 7 months

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Trick or Treat!!

57 Roy x Jamie :3

57. dating apps ☺️

—

11:21 p.m. lucky for you that’s exactly my type

Roy’s bored. It’s not like he just sits around answering messages from pictureless Grindr blokes, but he’s bored and he’s scrolling and he's horny and it’s not like a 25-year-old 5’10" toned vers bisexual sounds unappealing, necessarily, even if that’s all he’s got to go on.

11:23 p.m. What is?

11:23 p.m. your bio

Roy may have been a bit drunk when he set up his account the other night, so who the fuck knows. He flips to his profile and reads, “emotionally unavailable but I eat arse so there’s that.”

Right.

Roy Kent is not old, thank you very much, but in his day, you picked people up in a bar or at a party or after a match because fit, interested people tended to linger. Now there’s an app for that. Brave new fucking world.

He’d downloaded fucking bantr out of morbid curiosity, a few months after he broke things off with Keeley, and deleted it within 20 minutes. The problem with bantr is that the whole point is to make some deep, meaningful connection that’s based on more than just physical attraction. Roy already had that. He fucked it up. That’s the last thing he wants.

Grindr, though. That’s more his speed.

11:26 p.m. That so?

11:27 p.m. it is. everyone else on here just wants their dick sucked, man. where’s the creativity?

11:27 p.m. So it’s the creativity then, not the offer itself

11:28 p.m. listen mate, if you’re offering…

The photo suddenly gracing Roy’s phone has got to be the most perfect bum Roy’s ever seen, round and smooth and muscled and…yeah, Roy would fucking feast on that.

Wait.

Another picture comes through, another that shouldn’t be identifiable, no face, no visible tattoos, just a perfectly sculpted torso, left arm casually flexed with his hand cradled behind his neck. His right arm is strategically out of frame, other than the pretty, angular hand nicely framing a gorgeous cock straining against tight black pants.

Perfectly sculpted torso and casually flexed right arm and pretty, angular hand and gorgeous cock that all belong to Jamie Tartt.

There’s not the slightest sliver of doubt in his mind. Roy sculpted that body himself. It’s fucking Jamie, that perfect bicep from the new lifting routine, the tan from his trip to Brazil, the Orion’s Belt of freckles on his left pec.

Fuck.

11:33 p.m. speechless, yeah? you’re welcome

He should not fucking reply. He should close the app. Delete the conversation. Block Jamie’s profile. Delete his goddamn Grindr account.

11:35 p.m. You always this much of a cocky prick?

11:35 p.m. nah, way worse in person

11:35 p.m. you want it though, don’t ya?

11:36 p.m. can i see you?

Roy takes a breath. Don’t reply, close the app, delete the conversation, block the profile, delete the account. Lots of great options here.

Instead he takes a breath, pulls off his shirt, and snaps his own faceless torso picture. He glances at it just long enough to decide it’s good enough and sends it before he has time to think about it any harder.

He doesn’t know what outcome he’s hoping for here. Maybe Jamie isn’t as fucking deranged as Roy apparently is, maybe Jamie won’t immediately recognize some random hairy chest. Or maybe Jamie will know immediately, too. Maybe he’ll have the good fucking sense to do what Roy should have done and pretend this never happened.

Minute after agonizing minute ticks by, and Roy is a fucking idiot, why the fuck…

11:41 p.m. right

11:41 p.m. so you coming over now or do we have to wait til 4am?

Roy stares at the phone for a minute before typing a response, throwing his shirt back on, and grabbing his car keys.

11:42 p.m. On my way

#😇#thanks for the prompt babe!#royjamie #roy/jamie #roy x jamie #ted lasso fic #my fic #my writing #fic or treat 2023

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araekniarchive · 5 months

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i'm moving!

hi all :)) it's been a little while since i've been very active on this blog, and whilst a good chunk of that is chronic illness/job related, another big part is that i've been really struggling with my own tagging systems, to the point it feels like work just to reblog something properly. this is primarily because the theme tagging system for this blog evolved as i did, and a lot of the tags i used to use on her became superfluous, or repeated, and despite how many i have i still struggled to find stuff!

in addition to that, because of the way the tumblr editor used to work, the way i added images to posts would randomly add blank image descriptions to the pictures that just said 'image' and i couldn't change them, which made the webs look very ugly on mobile and also inaccessible to people using screenreaders or with sight issues on any browser, which is the opposite of what i wanted. thankfully, this has now been fixed for new webs, but is unfixable on the older webs which is a real bummer :(

so, a couple of weeks ago i randomly decided to do something about it. and i did! a few of you have noticed that a new blog, @otheraraekni, has been reblogging some of my webs and adding image descriptions in the reblogs, but i've also been remaking some webs as well with the alt text finally working as intended. i've made a new navigation page for my blog organisation, full of some tags i've kept, some i've slightly changed, and a whole new kind of tags for those i use most often. currently all the links on there will lead to this blog (so some of them will lead nowhere, as they may be new tags) but my intention is to switch urls.

so -- moving? in a day or so (once i've got the last kinks worked out) i will be turning my otheraraekni blog into araekni, and this blog into an archive. because araekni is a sideblog, i don't really have the option to just attach it to an old email and set it adrift, and i'm hoping not to have to get notifications from it forever, so in a month or so it will be deleted.

why a month? hopefully that will give everyone time to save any webs they like from this blog that i haven't decided to move over to what will be the new araekni! obviously, a good portion of the followers on this blog are from a couple of years ago when i was posting webs much more regularly, and i am not at all expecting the new blog to reach the same level of popularity as this one did, but if anybody would like to follow the new blog this is your chance :) i'll queue this post a couple dozen times so as many people as possible see it, but if you don't wish to follow me over there, please know how much i have loved keeping this blog over the years and how wonderful of an experience it has been <3

#not a web #important #araekni #otheraraekni #housekeeping

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hermitadaymay · 1 month

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I deleted the ask pretty much as soon as I got it, but now I kinda wish I hadn't, so:

Dear anon who sent an ask wondering if I was going to reblog their Skizz art, because they posted it on time but the Stress daily post had already gone through and I hadn't reblogged it yet:

Hi! I'm Luna. I run this blog, and I'm one person. There are over 3,000 posts on this blog (almost half of them from this year, already, and we're on day 10), and the vast majority of those are fanart with individualized tag commentary. I do not get paid to do any of this. Some dear friends helped me with the funds to cover the minimum prices I contracted with Spider, Belmarzi, and Rae, but any extra from that, plus a fair few of my own dollars, will be going into the fundraiser itself when we near the end of the month.

Thursday nights are game nights with my friends. They all know why I'm on my phone whenever it's not actively my turn during the month of May and they support me, but believe it or not, I like being able to talk to them when I get to see them, so yeah, I was pushing the Skizz reblogs a little late.

But the Stress daily post posted at 12 sharp, and I reblogged the last Skizz post at 12:14. I had started doing my no-commentary fast final reblogs for the day several minutes before the Stress daily post! So were you, what, refreshing the blog waiting to see your art, not caring what else popped up, and then immediately going to the inbox to complain as soon as the new daily post went up and you hadn't seen yours? If so, then I'm not sure you understand what this event is for. This is not "free art exposure: the blog." This thing that I've put hundreds of hours of my life into at this point, and that yes, sometimes I'm a little behind with (but I am one person), this is for celebrating of the Hermits and the community of artists of all kinds that has sprung up around them. If you don't care about that, then I'd ask that you either reevaluate your priorities or stop wasting my time by posting to the tag.

Any further complaints sent on anon will be disregarded entirely.

-Mod Luna

P.S. Unrelated, but it'll be going into the rules next year: traced art will not be tolerated. If you are discovered to be reposting or tracing others' art, your pieces will be removed from the blog and any further submissions ignored.

Edit: the anon wrote back; I appear to have starkly misinterpreted their intentions. I am leaving this post up as accountability, but in hindsight I recognize that my response was equally out of line with the goals of the event as I assumed their interests were.

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tracfone · 2 years

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The “glados/caroline is chell’s mom” theory sucks and the math does not add up, and let me tell you why:

(Preface: this is going to cover a LOT of spoilers from both games. I would advise turning back unless you’ve finished portal 2)

To start off—i do not believe that test subjects age in stasis. If chell was a child during the specific bring your daughter to work day event (which i do not think so, but I’ll elaborate later), i do not know how she would have the mental faculties to handle the events of either game without freaking out, as she would have aged from a child to an adult in the time she was in stasis, with no time for her to develop mentally. Also, the time between the first and second games is unknown, though it’s definitely….a while, more than just a few months. Had stasis not preserved her, she would either look significantly older or be like, a literal pile of bones. But no, she remains largely unchanged, save for the fact she looks much less haggard and more refreshed:

According to the portal wiki, the time between GLaDOS’s activation/takeover and the events of portal is 12 years; the year this event took place would have been in 1998:

You could also say like, “oh but but her dad could have brought his adult daughter to work!!” but this does not make sense, as…well, just look at this penmanship. You would have to assume chell has horrible handwriting, but this clearly looks like the writing of an elementary schooler:

…but. I also do believe that THE bring your daughter to work day event and the one chell attended as a child were two separate events—likely taking place in two separate DECADES. I don’t know how long it takes to fully extract someone’s brain into a personality core, but it was probably not instantaneous, so I think it’s safe to assume caroline is already dead, and could not have brought her; cave johnson is most definitely dead and his brain is in a robot. Chell refers to her father and cave as two separate people, in any case

EDIT: actually i looked at this image more clearly, and the fact that chell refers to cave at all as someone she's interacted with means that the event she attended must be in the 80's or earlier!!!

(Side note: there is a line in portal where glados mentions that “the aperture science bring your daughter to work day is the perfect time to have her tested”, which you may think is evidence for the theory, and, admittedly, does raise some questions about how cryosleep works in this universe, but for reasons I’ve already stated, I don’t think this means they are putting kids into stasis so they can test as adults, though they may be introduced to the concept at the time and encouraged to apply once they’re old enough. This could also potentially refer to getting “tested” to be uploaded into a robot body)

Here, glados mom truthers, i will throw you a bone for once—savor it, because I’m not done, but according to a reddit AMA thread circa ~2015, ellen mclain admits she thinks the theory is interesting:

…HOWEVER!!

I am going to take that bone back now. In a 2011 panel, when asked if glados really deleted caroline or not, she says (this is me paraphrasing but you can view the whole thing), “…there’s what ellen mclain thinks, and then theres what erik wolpaw thinks. You’ll have to ask him…”. She’s basically saying not to take what she says as hard canon, because what the director says ultimately is what matters. Also in the thread specifically she could have been acting cheeky—see how she refers to herself as….well, herself, and not as glados. She could mean either, i guess, but it really sounds like “chell is my (ellen mclain’s) daughter ;)”. I dont know! It ultimately doesn’t matter, either way. This is me just going off the tone of her other answers

In any case. Back to the main point of the post. At the end of portal 2, glados gives a very bittersweet speech. She tells chell she realized that she was all along her best friend. This….is not something a mother says to her child, unless you happen to be a very suffocating parent who maybe possibly parentifies their child. I know what you might be thinking, and like, I don’t mean to kick dirt all over your experience if your takeaway from this series was “escaping an abusive parent”; i can see why you interpret it this way. Tonally, though, this goodbye speech does not fit a farewell speech from a parent, in my opinion!!! The portal series also is very “show and not tell”—you kind of have to figure out through clues from cave johnson’s recordings what is happening to the employees, and how glados came to be; you aren’t explicitly told it, until glados says that “being caroline taught (her) a valuable lesson”. The story unfolds with a lot of environmental clues, and that’s part of what makes it so engaging, figuring out what’s going on by yourself, by assembling this puzzle in the debris of an abandoned facility. That said though, the single player ending would have been a great time to elaborate on the parent plot IF it were actually a parent plot. At the end of the first game, glados tells you what she did to all the scientists, finally giving you an answer to why the facility is so empty, aside from you and her—portal 2 could have taken the chance to make her say something like, “being caroline taught me a valuable lesson: i remembered who i am, and who you are, my child…I’m so sorry i put you through all this” or [insert whatever tooth-rottingly sweet line you want here]. But they didn’t!

(Side note I think “cara mia addio” is completely unreliable evidence no matter which side of this you’re on, due to the double meaning of the word “bambina” and the fact it is, allegedly, an improvised song. I will not be using it to prove anything, though, i do think we can assume the tone to be of a romantic fondness, if you match it up with the vein “want you gone” was written in)

EDIT 9/7/22: OKAY I JUST GOT THE FINAL NAIL IN THE COFFIN ON CARA MIA (thank you so so much @ossyflawol on Twitter for letting me use this excerpt). This is from the portal 2 official guide, the collector's edition. Take a look!:

This post is becoming long and so as not to risk this entire textwall becoming completely incoherent, I’ll cut to my final point: chell was already an adult by the time she was put into stasis

In lab rat, we see a photograph of chell in her profile. It doesn’t really look any different from how she looks in every single other drawing in the comic:

I’m going to go as far as to say that chell was employed at aperture before the takeover. During her boss battle in the first game, glados has this to say:

…this would seem to imply that chell was a part-timer or an intern pre-stasis. Glados lies a lot but I’m choosing to take what she’s saying here to heart

Remember when i said “cara mia addio” doesn’t hold much water, and can’t be used as reliable evidence for anything? Well now I’m the one who lied, because i need to bring it up again. This song is like, the holy grail to those who stand by the mom theory—they say glados is sending her child “away from science” and saving her on the bring your daughter to work day incident. But—please stay with me here, this is where it all falls apart—there is no conceivable way that chell was a “little girl” in 1998, we know FOR SURE she was an adult. To illustrate, let’s see what our old pal cave johnson has to say about this:

During the 1980’s aperture had completely phased out of using people they grabbed off the street (and offering them $60) for testing, and have switched over to solely using their employees. He also says directly after that they plan to discontinue human testing altogether—this evidently did not happen, as there are ten thousand humans in stasis ready for testing. At least, there’s not really any evidence to the contrary: whether glados put all the employees in stasis, or caroline did when she was still human, or whether it happened before cave’s death is ultimately irrelevant, though i doubt it was glados as her current form, because she killed off the remaining staff sans rattmann

EDIT 9/21/22: it is with a heavy heart that, after receiving some more timeline resources, that i am unfortunately going to write off the science project entirely. but this is okay. while the words on the project itself do imply that the time chell met cave johnson would have had to be before the 1990's (and i still think it should be interpreted that way, canon or no), the combine-overwatch portal/half-life wiki has this to say about the bring your daughter to work day incident:

"The untested AI of GLaDOS is activated for the first time as one of the planned activities on Aperture's first annual bring-your-daughter-to-work day. Upon being activated, she almost instantly becomes self-aware, takes control of the Enrichment Center, locks everyone inside, and floods the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin, but is halted when she is quickly fitted with a Morality Core. She then begins a permanent cycle of testing, aimed at beating Black Mesa in the race to develop functioning portal technology."

...so it was the first, as well as the last one. taking place in may of 200x (1998 was apparently retconned at some point, according to aperturescience.com). the entire timeline of these games is a horrible trainwreck, to be perfectly honest, so you can take this or leave this, but still, i wouldn't be swayed by allegations of chell being a child during this time. the forced testing initiative also began in 200x. not enough time could have elapsed for this project to have been made around the same time. it's impossible. this image of chell's science project is nothing more than a non-canon easter egg; it doesn't fit anywhere. therefore the point still stands, but i just thought i would be transparent about it if i know something. this entire post is kind of a living document at this point haha

In conclusion: CHELL WAS AN ADULT EMPLOYEE AT APERTURE LABORATORIES BY THE TIME OF THE BRING YOUR DAUGHTER TO WORK DAY INCIDENT. Caroline did not bring her to work that day, these two are completely unrelated

You might be crinkling your nose right now and thinking “buh buh buh but roryyy you only think this way because you’re a chelldos shipper!!!” and like, you’re right to an extent, but i also firmly believe that were the narrative a familial one, it would change the meaning of the work drastically; portal is about two women who face workplace abuse and inevitably end up working together to combat it. It’s about the horrors of capitalism and the lack of ethics in the scientific field; it’s about an intelligent woman forced into a computer and suppressed so hard because people don’t want to give her any power or autonomy, to the point that she’s become a completely different person. And, of course…it’s a sweet, sad story of a robot who, no matter if you interpret the nature of these feelings as romantic or not, becomes attached to a test subject and it’s incredibly painful, emotionally, and she can’t deal with it; her test subject is both her killer and, if you think about it, also her savior. Putting glados in the role of chell’s mom feels like it slims down her character development significantly. It’s not sweet, I don’t have “chills bro literal chills”, it doesn’t move me or make me want to cry, it does absolutely nothing for me! The self-discovery, the mutual trust built between her and chell in a crisis situation, it morphs into something completely different if this narrative turns into “ohhh she softens up because she learns she’s a mother uwuwuwuwuwuuuuuu happy famiwy teehee!!!” I am going to VOMIT

I should say that i don't care whether you ship them together or not. I just think this theory is ridiculous and wanted to point out how full of glaring holes it is. A lot of people like to parrot this theory as ABSOLUTE TRUTH when nothing has been confirmed on th matter, and with developer commentary that directly contradicts it (have you heard the good word of Johnathan Coulton?), it's hard to present it as such. Glados loves and cares about chell--this much is absolutely true, even if the reverse isn't canon, and there is no hard evidence to suggest any of the named characters are related by blood or by legal ties

Anyways, if you read all this: thank you. Here’s some supplemental reading you may or may not have already read that features points i purposefully didn’t touch on, because i wanted to focus on things that have been said less on this topic

#portal #portal 2 #portal 2 spoilers/#glados #chell #chelldos #abuse mention /#genuinely sorry to those whom i have textwalled before about this i think i got it all out of my system now #this theory makes me so angry and i had to go to bat here

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reflections-in-a-critical-eye · 1 year

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Subversion of expectations in Set Me Free Pt. 2

What makes it all worth it in closely following an artist's career trajectory is having the opportunity to look at their work from various angles. In turn, that opens the possibility to make comparisons, to be able to spot the various inspirations, to see how it's positioned in the appropriate contexts. It's not an easy job, but the result is that by taking into consideration all these elements, it's possible to eventually know what type of interpretation is more suited, without making major leaps for the sake of it or turn the work into an ahistorical event.

I've been thinking all day how I should write about Jimin's pre-release track. I kept postponing it, going back to watching the music video and keeping my involvement in debates to a minimal. In actuality, and for the sake of honesty, after a few hours I was in the avoiding stage. I had thoughts here and there, but nothing that I was able to put together in a coherent way. I wrote and deleted paragraphs several times. The reason was because in the last few months I've become more interested in his projects, wanting to witness the direction he is taking which in turn affected the way I approach each topic regarding Jimin's work.

I'm saying all this because I want to point out the element of subjectivity. Which is ever present. There's no such thing as complete objectivity. It may manifest as neutral or heavily analytical statements, but underneath all that there's the obvious element of our own taste and bias. I think we can't have an honest conversation as long as we don't acknowledge that. Being biased in this context makes us protective of the artist we like, of perhaps thinking but not being ready to admit that we hold them as the highest standard in order for them to become the main point of comparison when we look at other artists. As much as I see this as an expected result of our subjectivity, I strongly believe that stating and being honest about this can make our interpretation and opinions to come from a more genuine place. Otherwise we hide behind our own notions of taste and knowledge which can lead to useless comparisons and connections between artists when that's not the case or more likely, judging a specific work in relation to some standards that have no place in the current conversation.

This is something that I have to remind myself all the time because I can be guilty of, but it's also a type of discussion that I see happening a lot in online spaces (predominantly twitter) which eventually doesn't bring anything of real value to the table.

In this context, I think it's impossible not to look at Set Me Free Pt. 2 (SMFP2 in the following mentions) as a sort of turning point. Not only the song, but the entire album. But for now, I will refer to this track because it's relevant in its connections to other major points in Jimin's career. SMFP2 closes a chapter while also setting the stage for what will come next. Not only that, it shows a versatility that sometimes it's a more relevant point in the context of releasing a first solo album, an EP in this case. The song and its visual representation can be understood in the context of what came before, specifically Lie, but also Jimin's artistic trajectory in the the last decade as a group member, his personal journey and his status and presence in the public life as an artist.

What I appreciate about Jimin's work is that it shows his ability and predisposition to storytelling. Of taking parts of his individual path and turning them into motifs, easily recognizable for the listener who has the availability to try to understand. I want to mention first Lie and Filter because both songs are representative for specific stages in Jimin's life as an artist. Lie was a cry for help and salvation, of not being able to get out of a web of lies that can swallow one whole. By the time Filter came, it showed a maturity and self awareness that came from knowing how he is perceived, of playing the part, but always on his terms. With SMFP2, Jimin doesn't need an outside force to come for help because he is finally able to do that on his own. And that only comes after years of struggle.

As much as the song is liberating, the aggressive element takes center stage. This is the song of an angry man that had enough and he can finally say and do what needs to be done. And he has only himself which makes it all the more scary because it shows his inner power and ability to endure, but also to fight back. It's a stage in which he shows that he's invincible, with lyrics such as ''I won't hide anymore, even if it hurts/I won't stop even if they mock me''. In terms of structure, the song is a conversation between Jimin who acknowledges that he reached a new stage in which he is free because he did it himself and another inner voice, the one that has to remind everyone that he is untouchable now and no meek person. Musically, this is achieved and punctuated by focusing on the hardware version – the rap part and the software element expressed through Jimin's usual vocal signature.

Instead of turning this into a step by step analytical interpretation of the lyrics and imagery, I want to discuss some elements of it through the frame of expectations and the subsequent subversion of them.

If SMFP2 being a hip-hop song might be considered a choice that apparently doesn't fully characterize Jimin or it comes as a surprise based on the teasers alone, I think it manages to show how he can adapt and make use of different genres, including those that we might not immediately associate with him. The reason why this song works is due to the heavy contrast punctuated by the insertion of a heavily artificial element. While from a matter of personal taste, the sound itself here can be quite difficult to digest, the choice makes sense because it creates a distinct voice that helps in distinguishing the two parts of Jimin that are sending different signals and which represent two sides of the story he's telling. The autotune on the rap parts makes his voice almost unrecognizable, but that also means we're seeing a clear case of subversion. That voice sounds foreign and not something we might even associate with him, but we have to keep in mind that it's the aggressive voice. The one who is sincere and clearly states he basically has no fucks left to give.

The music video was also surprising because it presented a type of choreography that is yet again different from what we would expect. And this element is crucial because of what we know of Jimin's background and his status as a dancer. A common observation/criticism is that he didn't dance as much as it would have been possible and that's a thought that also crossed my mind initially. But then I kept thinking about it and I realized that this might be a case of wanting a specific type of dancing from him and instead, receiving something else. Perhaps it should have had strictly moves for every single beat, a more complex choreography for Jimin and not what looks as him taking control over only specific parts, instead of just making some movements that look a bit uncoordinated in order to fill in the space created by the dancers. But on taking a closer look, it becomes obvious how every movement and gesture is purposeful. I see Jimin here as the one who orchestrates and leads the entire choreography, including controlling those around him. It might look like they hold control over him, as in the case of pointing their fingers, or acting almost possessed trying to take him down, but they move based on how Jimin controls the space. I think it makes a show of power, even in the moments in which on the surface it might look like the opposite is happening.

The (melo)dramatic tone of the song and especially that of the music video is achieved through the use of only a handful of elements. In this case it's interesting to note that it happens in the vein of less is more when usually the opposite is the norm. Using only one space, quite minimalist in terms of chromatic elements and lighting and camera techniques, the focus is on the choreography. It's the principal element which can only come from someone who has an established image and known for his dancing abilities. There is no need for props or other artifice in order to elevate or complement the production. The message needs to be straightforward and adding other elements would take away the attention from what is relevant. For a song that makes use of an imposing choir, brass instruments and drums, that is more than enough to convey the epic element of the story.

Ultimately SMFP2 is yet another example of how Jimin always subverts the expectations, of how there is this entire world and parts of himself that we wouldn't even think about. Yes he will rap, but he will do it in way that is unexpected. Of course he will dance, but the choreography will not be entirely like the type we are used from him. And he will have a poem of Rainer Maria Rilke tattooed on his torso which only indicates that we barely know anything about him. Of what is the spectrum of his inspiration, of what are some of his creative influences separate from what we would already expect. There's always the element of surprise and if there's one thing that I know I can expect from Jimin, is him doing more and different than what I could possibly think of.

This might be a song in his first solo album, but Jimin is starting on this path after 10 years of work. It means there's an entire baggage of experience, but also that we're seeing a new direction. Which can prove to be successful entirely, or perhaps only a first step for someone who will have plenty of time in establishing a public identity as a solo artist. I think his future looks bright, regardless if this song is exactly what we would have wished for or not.

*This post is merely an attempt at some sort of generalized view of the song and the music video. I will mostly likely talk more about specific elements in the following days if the occasion arises, probably by having conversations through asks.

#jimin #jimin set me free pt 2 #jimin face

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weirdfactory · 26 days

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Have you ever shared your story of exploring and embracing this side of you?

Hmm. I'm not really sure there's much of a story to share🤔. I think it's rooted in the fact that I wet the bed til I was pretty old, like 19 😖 and I still do occasionally🥴. But I was just sorta compelled to wear them, diapers just gave me a feeling of comfort. When I was 17 and got my first job and car I started to buy some goodnites from time to time. I tried to wear it at night when my family wouldn't see me. When I moved out at 18, I got the chance to try out real diapers without so many worries aside from my roommate. Ever since then I usually will have a period of like a month or a few where I'm enjoying wearing them and getting a lot of comfort from it, but then I shift to not wanting them for a while. Late last summer, I think I may have been hypomanic, I decided to post some pics and vids here and on reddit of me wearing diapers and wetting and whatever. I got a lot of attention on reddit pretty quick but at first I didn't get any attention here on tumblr. Then at some point in I think October if I remember right i deleted all my socials and I took all my pics off of reddit, but I forgot to get them off from here too because not as many people had seen them. Which brings us to just a few days ago when I finally logged back in to discover that thousands of people had seen my posts. I'm not sure where to go from here with it 😅

#ab dl #ab/dl blog

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arlertdarling · 2 months

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tldr: i’m cancelling my follower event and moving blogs to @junovie. i’m officially back from my ‘break’ but i can’t promise i’ll be frequently active (at least not as much as i used to be), much less that i’ll be writing/posting new works regularly.

i look forward to catching up with you all !! thank you for your support and understanding <3

full original post under the cut

hello!

you may or may not have noticed that i’ve been quite inactive for the last few months or so.

i’m sorry to everyone who has reached out to me in that time — i’m not ignoring you, i’ve just been logged out of this account and staying away from tumblr in general. i plan on getting back to you all privately and individually, but if you could read this post, just so you have an idea of what’s going on, i would really appreciate it! :)

anyway, i have two announcements to make regarding my blog — not bad, but definitely important changes! i’ve been meaning to make them for a while, but only just found the time and courage to go through with them.

there’s also a more in-depth (albeit rambly) explanation to why and where i’ve been gone after the announcements. it’s a little long, so there’s no pressure to read it all if you don’t want to.

my first announcement is that i’m cancelling my 100+ follower event.

...but you probably all saw that one coming lol

i absolutely intended to complete all the requests regardless of how long it took, but it’s been over 7 months now and i no longer see myself ever getting around to them at this point. i feel awful about it, especially because i was so excited about the event and milestone itself, but i just don’t have the motivation to write the rest anymore.

to be transparent, the main thing that affected and eventually halted my work flow entirely is this weird subconscious self-disciplinary rule i had where i was ‘not allowed’ to write anything until i’d finished my old projects. this isn’t an actual rule obviously, but it prevented me from writing new ideas or enjoying writing on this blog/for tumblr as a whole for months. every time i got inspired to write something, i’d remember that i have these obligatory requests to complete first, that it would be selfish and unfair to ‘ignore’ or not prioritise them, that people will be mad at me for not doing so etc, etc.

i’ve luckily stopped thinking this way now, but that’s why i’ve made this decision. i should write for myself and my enjoyment, first and foremost. it shouldn’t be an obligation. it’s not a commission or contractual assignment, it’s a silly online milestone event that i made and can just as easily discontinue should i want to — so that’s what i’ve chosen to do.

thank you to everyone who participated and/or supported the event, it means a lot to me still, and i’m sorry to those whose requests i didn’t manage to write. even with how much time has passed, i still feel shame and embarrassment about how this all turned out, so your acceptance and understanding would be really appreciated.

my next announcement is that i’m moving blogs.

i’m moving to a new account where i have an interaction/personal main blog (@junovie) and my current nsfw writing sideblog. i might make a new sfw one for my other writing shenanigans, but i haven’t made up my mind about that one yet.

it’s nothing serious, i mostly just want a fresh start. this blog has gotten disorganised and messy, and while some people don’t mind or even like it that way, personally i need structure and organisation in order to stay sane, so my plan is to move to a new blog. as for this blog — i might delete it permanently in the future, but for now, i just intend to archive it.

with the announcements out of the way, i just have a few more things i want to talk about.

i’m currently writing this part of the post in march of 2024, but i’ve been considering these changes since around december of 2023, and started drafting this post in january.

in that time, i’ve been mostly logged out of this account (aside from when i would come to add to this post) and keeping tumblr at arm’s length in general for... no reason in particular really? i know many people have had at least one bad experience or two during their time on tumblr, which may have led to them needing a break, but i’ve honestly been lucky enough to never have encountered anything severe personally.

for the most part, i’ve just been focused on my education. i’m at a stage in my life where i have important decisions to be making, paths and passions i want to be pursuing, responsibilities i need to be taking care of... and in comparison, my time for writing on tumblr has dwindled.

on the other hand, this ‘break’ of sorts, away from tumblr, has helped me realise just how much of my time i had been spending on what is really just another silly little social media app on my silly little phone. that’s not to say the people i’ve met and the feelings i’ve experienced aren’t good, valuable or a part of my life, or that the support i’ve received and joy i’ve shared don’t have worth in the bigger picture, because they are, they do, and i’m grateful for them all!! but in retrospect, there were, and are, more important things in my life that require my time, energy and attention [over writing] and that i should have been prioritising sooner. that’s on me for getting essentially addicted and becoming neglectful, and that’s why i needed to step back like i have.

in some ways, i feel a little guilty, because i feel like, i don’t know... like my sudden ‘hiatus’ should have been as a result of some big, crazy life event, or depression or something. and it kind of was [the latter], at the start, but the truth is it’s the opposite now? like, i’ve just been happier these days... but i don’t think it has anything to do with my break from tumblr, at least not in the sense that it makes me unhappy, or the absence of it improves my mental health or whatever. just in the sense that the time i would have spent scrolling or writing, i’ve now been spending doing other hobbies that make me happy, making connections with real life people, reflecting on and learning to love life and myself. i’m far from being where i want to be and i’m definitely still figuring things out, but i feel like i’m better at dividing my time now, and more capable of being on tumblr without it consuming my life force and every waking thought.

so, i’m going to come back, but i’m making no promises that i’ll be frequently active (at least not as much as i used to be), much less that i’ll be writing/posting new works regularly, especially not requests. i’m here just to have fun, be silly, bond with people over stories and fictional characters — and whatever else i may want in the future — but i never want it to feel like a chore or burden again.

even though i feel bad for basically ghosting everyone in my inbox and being inexplicably MIA for like, 3 months, i don’t regret taking this break. i just hope everyone will understand and respect my decisions and the changes to come.

friends/mutuals are welcome to message me if you’re curious about details or concerned or whatever else, but i’ve probably said enough here to answer any questions lol. i look forward to coming back and catching up with you all.

see you guys soon <3

#hoo boy #finally posting this(⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠)ゞ #i've put it off for toooo long lol #anyway #love and miss you all🫶#psa

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