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ttulipwritezz · 26 days

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King Of My Heart (Body And Soul)~ R. Lupin.

Chapter 4 - Kings And Queens

Ootp! Remus Lupin x Sirius's sister!Reader

Synopsis: When James and Lily died, and your brother was sent to Azkaban, Remus was the only person you had left. Until he left too. What happens when he returns after the events of Sirius's escape, only to find out you have a son? A son that's his.

WC: 2k

Warnings: lots of italics, probably grammatical mistakes, kiss(es), might be ooc idk, child (?), fem reader, italics are flashbacks ( idk), love (ew), Sirius is back, mentions of torture, abuse, walburga black, abandonment, mentions Of attempts to suicide, mental health issues, young parents.

A/n: So.....I'm updating after two months... nice. anyway, thanks sm for all the love and support y'all gave on this series, i promise i'll update sooner now lol. I put in lotta effort into this chapter, so i hope you enjoy. If you like this, please reblog and comment! <3 (p.s. the series isn't over lol it has a few more to go.)

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A gasp echoes through the empty corridor.

Not yours…

Regulus's.

"He is my father?"

The words escape him with such hatred

"Dove i-"

Remus's eyes widened at the endearment.

"Professor Lupin is my father? Why didn't you ever tell me!?"

You can hear the anger in his voice. It makes you question yourself again.

Why does everyone think it’s your fault?

Regulus glances between you and Remus. You’re certain you see tears prick in the corners of his eyes. His face is red, much like his fathers.

While you collect your thoughts, he takes a deep breath. Closing his eyes abruptly, he repeats.

“Why didn’t you-”

His voice seems to choke up towards the end.

"I didn't deem it necessary Reg-"

Attempting to keep a level head you tried to explain yourself before your son cut you off.

"YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME!"

Now he’s done it.

"Regulus! You will not raise your voice at your mother!"

Your eyes go wide, you say the words with a booming voice.

The whole house seems to quake. You couldn't help the parts of your mother, walburga, that seeped into you. You were her daughter after all.

Regulus let out a sound close to a scoff and seemed to seethe with fury as he made his way up the stairs, his door made a creaking sound as if pushed by enormous force, pausing before lightly closing with click, as though he had stopped it before the slam came.

Realising that Remus was still in the room, you sighed before lifting your gaze up to meet his.

You open your mouth a couple times but no words seem to come out. You drop your gaze again.

Luckily for you, your name tumbles out of Remus's mouth before he asks a question.

“He…he doesn’t know?”

His voice was filled with hesitation. You could see his hand lift up towards you in your peripherals. He hesitated. Of course he did.

“I didn’t tell him. I couldn’t.”

Ironic huh? Your husband returns after fourteen years and all you’ve done today is try to explain yourself.

It’s all too overwhelming. You need to get away.

Before Remus could respond to you, your feet seemed to lead you back to the stairs.

You turn around once you hear your name again. He calls you that a lot…

“I could…talk to him, you know?”

His eyebrows are raised in what you can guess as hope, and his voice sounds scratchy.

Contemplating for a moment, you respond.

“Do what you please Lupin, I don’t care.”

A shake of your accompanies the words.

You tried to make yourself seem stern. But you aren’t.

And he knows that. He knows you better than you know yourself.

You feel a tug on your arm. Looking down at him from the stairs, a wave of nostalgia hits you. His hand feels warm on your arm. You can hear the wind blowing outside.

It feels…the same.

You walk in the great hall and make your way towards your friends. not before sparing a glance and smile towards the marauders, mainly remus.

Remus's mouth quirks up at the corner as he gives you a lopsided grin, his crooked teeth showing through.

This doesn't go unnoticed by Sirius, his brows furrow and he lets out a noise somewhat similar to a scoff

"My sister moony? really?" he drawls, turning his eyes to his plate, attention still on Remus, who startles and looks back to deny his proclamations.

"what? I just gave her a smile." His confusion makes the other two marauders burst out in laughter. Their boisterous laugh echoes through the great hall, drawing your attention.

With a glance shared with Remus, you let them be.

"I see how you look at her, it's obvious mate" Sirius grabs his attention again and begins to prepare to leave for his class.

"I don't know what you're talking about"

"you very well do" A bored expression adorns Sirius's face.

Remus furrows his brows before your retreating figure catches his attention.

Noticing his distraction, Sirius rolls his eyes and turns around to leave.

“Talk to her.” He mutters to Remus before he’s gone.

Much to Peter and James’s surprise Remus does indeed listen.

He follows you out of the Great hall, looks right and left before spotting you towards the stairs.

Taking long strides he makes his way over to you.

You hear your name once. It’s Remus.

His eyebrows are raised in what you can guess as hope.

You feel a tug on your arm. Your eyes meet his, that look right behind you at something.

Before you can form a word, he pulls you hard towards his chest.

A group of third years pass by, hitting your shoulder as they pass by, no doubt in a hurry to reach their first class.

Your face is hidden in Remus's chest long after you can no longer hear them.

As he opens his mouth to say something, a smile breaks out on your face, easing his nerves.

That was the best laugh you two had had all week.

Remus wordlessly pulls you into his chest.

Your arms automatically go to wrap around his middle. No matter how much you hate him right now, you can’t deny the comfort his warmth brings you.

You’ll worry later. That night you cry in his chest, for the first time in fourteen years.

Three knocks on Regulus’s door pulled him out of his trance, as he was busy Staring at the ceiling.

He glanced over at the door in anticipation.

“Can I come in?” Remus's voice echoes through the mostly empty room.

Most of regulus's belongings seemed to have not made their way into this house. Remus understands why.

With hesitation, Regulus nods His head once and Remus lets himself in.

“Can we talk…?” Remus was unsure, that much was evident.

Regulus nodded once more and moved his gaze across the room. Avoiding his fathers eyes Like the plague.

Remus cleared his throat before sitting down on the bed.

His throat bobbed up and down, As did the mattress. It made a squeaking noise, Filling in the silence that enveloped the room.

“We need to talk…” Uncertainty lingered in his voice.

With silence as Regulus’s only response, He continued.

“I-”

a sigh followed his pause

“I- uh- when you were little…welp- Not born yet. Heck I had no clue you were going to be born. I-”

Remus's throat felt dry, he was stammering, his words were jumbled. He had no idea what to say.

He only just got to know the kid.

So he started with the obvious.

“I…am your father-”

That earned him a snort of laughter from Regulus.

“Yeah, no shit.”

At Least He was making progress…?

“But I made a mistake, I left your mother when we were both at our worst, I can never forgive myself for that. And I don't expect her to either.”

Remus paused again. His Brows furrowed and eyes squinted as if he was choosing His next words carefully.

Regulus's feet tapped on the floor, impatience, Remus recognised that trait, must've gotten it from his mother.

Taking this as a sign to go on, he continued.

"I love her, kid....she's my everything "....

"Then why'd you leave her?"

Regulus spoke very little, but when he did, it was hard to miss.

"I didn't know she had you, my boy...if i'd known i wouldn't leave-"

"no.”

Remus's words halted, his brows furrowed in obvious confusion.

No?

“ I asked why you left her... not me. Merlin! You say you love her but left her alone. Didn't You?"

"i was scared and foolish a-and young-"

Remus tried to explain himself, to justify himself.

With each word he spoke, Regulus's blood seemed to boil.

"Do you have any idea how much pain you've caused her!? Mum wanted to kill herself, professor. She didn't want to live."

There was an urgency in Regulus's voice, like Remus would disappear again the moment he stopped talking.

You'd remember that night like it was yesterday. The stars were gleaming, the moon was full.

It made you want to give up. You were on the ledge when a small voice inside your head called out "stop, he needs you. regulus needs you" so you got down, and took a step back, your heart racing and thumping against your chest.

You remember, the bigger voice that screamed at you to let go "Godric! you coward. You coward. Do it. Just. Do. It." It said.

You backed off and fell to your knees, sobbing when the reality of it came crashing down.

You were twenty eight. Regulus was six. Only six.

And he was standing behind the balcony door, scared, nervous and relieved at the same time. He didn't want you gone, but he didn't want you to suffer.

He was just a boy. And he was hurt.

He was torn and you didn't know.

"I saw her, she wanted to give up. A part of me wanted her to give up, be free, I thought. Hell, I was just a kid. I didn't know anything"

Hot tears escaped Regulus's eyes, his hands going up to frantically wipe them away. When he failed, he just pressed his palms into them to try and stop the flood of oncoming tears.

Both shocked and ashamed by Regulus's words, Remus's first instinct was to cradle his son, comfort him, but Regulus Pushed his hands away and looked straight at him through red eyes.

"I hope you're better now...and I'll not hesitate to say this- she deserves better."

A few tears gathered on Remus's lash line, he blinked them away.

He had gotten good at that huh?

His mouth opened yet no words came out.

“You should go…”

Regulus said, at last, sensing Remus's speechlessness.

The bed creaked as he got up, taking slow and unsteady steps towards The door.

The doorknob felt cold in his hands, he thought.

"Hey, professor..."

Remus looked back.

"take care of mum...she's been through a lot"

With a nod, Remus exited the room. Leaving Regulus to go back to staring at his ceiling.

As he enters the hallway, his eyes fall onto a vase.

A vase with a singular flower in it, no doubt enchanted to stay fresh.

It looked familiar....too familiar.

Sitting on a picnic blanket, at a time you're certain is past your curfew, is less than ideal on a cold winter night.

But laying here with remus makes it all, so, very worth it.

Your attention from the stars is taken away for a moment as you feel a tug on your fingers.

Remus takes your hand into his, intertwines your fingers and gently places it above his chest, the place where you'd think his heart is.

"You know... you're the queen of my heart"

You just about melt into a puddle at the way he says it.

“And my body...and my soul" he adds.

You let out an airy chuckle before responding.

"You cheeky poet."

"Tortured poet." Remus attempts to correct you with faux irritation.

"Alright"

This is accompanied by another snicker.

"I'm serious!" Remus says, though he does mirror your smile.

You feign confusion as you reply.

“but you're Remus."

Remus just about whines at your pathetic joke with your brother's name as he leans back pushing one leg up and resting his free hand on it, before kissing the back of your intertwined fingers.

You stare up at him as he watches the sun set.

As you tighten your grip and lay your head on his shoulder, you think...

‘You too are the king of my heart, body, and soul.’

And that night you remember till today.

You picked that flower that night, he remembers.

And if you still have the flower, then he has hope.

He'll make it up to you, he thinks.

No matter how long it takes.

He knows he will.

Series taglist: @twilightlover2007 @idli-dosa @lovesanimals0000 @deathbyramennoodle-s @deadgirlsrunning @lovelyypythoness @corvinalitbitina @joeytribbiani18 @mayusaatma @csifandom @kissmeunicornbaobei @takem3tothelakes @loser-withwifi @roraxruw @empress-simps @callsignwidow @geeksareunique @0strawberrysorbet0 @deamus-liv General taglist: @desikudisworld @iamgayforyourmom1510

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starillusion13 · 8 months

Note

Hi congrats on 500 i would like to request for ateez ot8xfreader

IS THIS THE END?

Pairing: Ateez! ot8 x fem! reader

Genre: Lore Au, Angst, Mystery

Warnings: crying, mention of death, fever dream, many flashbacks, loneliness (major warning is this is mixture of sad and happy fic, idk why am feeling so down in this spooky season.)

W.C: 5.3k

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated 😭. Applause to the ones who come up to me to interact and they know how friendly I am. Okay enough!

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

dear Anon! ( I'm sorry if you wanted something spicy or fluff but i instead of these two, wrote something very different. i hope you may like it. Please let me know.)

Standing in front of this place seems different now, no more those chaos, those laughs echoing through the huge space, those smiley faces running around the street and getting shelter inside the huge place. Street is just now a silent and abandoned place without those lively beings occupying the area. Your fingers touch the cheeks to feel the wet sensation only to realize that you are crying, Crying for what? You don’t have hope for anything to return to its origin, right? Nothing can turn back. You are lost, they are lost and everything is lost. This place is lost without you all. Are you still going to keep a hope within yourself for, for them. Why? Everything is clear to you. You have seen those faces, those words, that scene still haunting you every day, every second and every moment and even now. Your heart aches on those thoughts but never you are caring to soothe it. It’s only because you don’t know how. How can you say to yourself that everything is alright when nothing is in its place, not even your mind and your heart.

Please.

Please what? Is there someone to listen to your pleadings, to listen to your heartbreaking cries every night and to see your helpless state? No. No one is going to pull you into their arms and rub your back with whispers, ‘Shush….its okay…I’m here. Nothing can hurt you. I’m here.’

I am here. Nothing can hurt you.

You are still here but everything is hurting as you are here alone. You are not with them. Them? Is it just them? Are you really going to refer them like this? They are your ‘home’. A safe place. The warehouse in front of your eyes is the only home to you and to them.

Taking few steps closer to the big metal door, binding with chains and locks, your hands fish inside the pocket for the keys. Hastily, you unlock the different locks and pull the chains and throw them to the side, not caring if they are okay to use afterwards. Your mind is just focused on one thing and that is to enter the place. Gripping the big handles in your hold, tears flowing continuously and so you close your eyes. You are ready to push the door but a memory flash across your mind.

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“Welcome to the Wanteez.”

Chuckling, you asked the person, “Wanteez? Why such a name? like, are you wanted?”

Standing in front of an old abandoned building with rusted gate, with some graffiti sprayed across the door and the walls all around, one name is quite repeated ‘WANTEEZ’ and also there are some other things repeated like their names and ‘Heart Awakened Live Alive’ and ‘Hala-zia’. Them and their names, both are weird.

“Yeah something like that. You know why as hear clearly, the loud beats of the music is coming from inside and guess you know, people don’t like citizens like us causing disturbance in the society.”

“So? You guys are enjoying yourselves and why does it matter to those others, they can simply ignore it. It’s not like anyone lives around this place. The nearest house is much far away from here to reach this sound. Unless, you are playing the speakers in front of their house. I would do this if anybody had complained anything about me.”

He laughs loudly along with you on your comment, “There’s more to this, you know. People assume us that we are some sort of gangsters and we are doing illegal stuffs behind everyone’s back. The government and police are always attentive to this surrounding to find any little proof against us to claim us as the criminals.”

“Are you?”

“Huh?” His face turns into a frown and his confused eyes staring back at you.

“The way this place looks like, I must believe you guys have some illegal shits up your sleeves.”

Before he could reply you back, you both feel someone’s hand around your necks.

“What are you both doing here? So, you finally brought our girl to this place.”

You smile to this intruder between you both but you are really happy to see him so energetic like always.

“Yes, Woo. Joong finally brought me here after so much whining and ta da I’m standing in front of the building.”

Wooyoung is the one who is always hyped up with silly matters and trying to lift up everyone’s mood in every situation. The way he takes care of everyone and other’s need is very adorable. Being one of the youngest member, he is referred as the menace also because of his mischievous acts but he is the first one to jump in for you if you are in trouble. The most clingy one and your favorite one in this family. But hush, don’t let him know about this as he would be going to shove this on everyone’s face.

Hongjoong removes his friend’s hand from around his neck and walks towards the gate and before he could pull it open. Wooyoung gives you a mischievous smile and holds your hand and makes a run towards the gate.

“Let’s go….”

“Woo...I will fall. Slow down.”

With other hand, he pushes open the door and left Hongjoong cursing at him

“I swear Wooyoung….”

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You push open the door.

Darkness reflects back to you but the full moon day spreading its light inside, slowly clearing your vision and those memories of coming here and spending time fills your mind. Your eyes are blinded not with the darkness of the room but those happy days replaying in front of you.

▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️

As soon as you step inside the warehouse, your hand still in his hold, you come to a halt and take heavy breaths. With calming yourself and fixing your posture, you look towards the centre of the warehouse, where six other boys staring back at you, some confused and some with soft look on their face. With a quick smile towards them, your eyes follow the interior of the place, some small high widows lining the upper end of the walls on your sides and also huge ventilators, old and somewhat rusted rods attached to the pillars for arranging their stuffs. Many of their items spread across the floor, food packets, clothes, shoes all scattered near a corner, basket ball and different kinds of flyers. You pick up a flyer near your feet and eyes scan the photo and description, some men in black outfits of coat and masked and fedora hat with chains decorated on them. ‘wanted’ written at the top of each flyer.

Those flyers still scattered around you. Tears blurring your vision, legs feeling weak, hands shaking by your side. With shaky steps, you walk towards the sofa, covered with a layer of dust and memories. Taking a seat, your hands caress the material.

“Who are they?”

You look at them with curious eyes but none of them answer you, only Hongjoong snatches away the paper from you and throws it aside. Furrowed eyebrows and pouty lips staring at him, he just gives away a dry smile.

“Nothing, its just something which is not your concern or…any of us.”

Your attention moves towards the speaker where the song has been changed to a different melody. It’s a very soothing one from the previous one and you can see Yunho memorising his steps while looking at the mirror. Seonghwa and San by his side and Wooyoung grinning beside them.

“Well, I don’t care about these mysterious men but I care of these three not acknowledging my presence. I feel so neglected and hurt.”

You make a fake crying expression to which Wooyoung stick out his tongue and Seonghwa flick his head and comes near you and now you are grinning to the scene.

“I cant ignore my girl ever.” His warm palms over your cheeks, soothing your every nerve from the exhaustion since the morning. He has that magic of warmness and healing in himself for which you always run to him for warmth like the heat in winter afternoon.

“I don’t believe you. Also, why is this place so dirty?”

He lets out a groan on your question to which everyone laughs and you jokingly glare at them.

“I have to clean this place all alone and everytime these idiots have to destroy it afterwards.”

You keep a neutral expression for few seconds and one two three you burst into laughter. And now everyone has abandoned their previous individual works and attention focused on you. Only you.

Maybe they are friends since childhood and you are a new addition to the group but you are the most precious part in their life. They have their own individual stories and some of them has shared a little part of their life with you and some just gives you tight smile whenever you want to know about them, like Hongjoong, the leader of this group. He has built this whole friendship circle and the last one to meet you. You don’t know much about him but still you trust him, have faith on him that whatever he does or is going to do in near future is nothing wrong. It means no harm to anyone but you fear for him. He keeping his life and feelings aside, always caring about his friends and you.

Will he be safe?

The second person you don’t know much about is the person standing in front of you, Seonghwa. He has a very strict family and always, he needs to follow their rules and regulation on everything as if every second of his life is already scheduled and he cant have his own way and this is the place where he met hongjoong and now this hideout is the escape place for him. This cold abandoned place has the warmness only because of him. He also gave you a bracelet which has a sensor and signal technology attached to it, of course made by yeosang so that they can know if you are in any danger or not. The way a bracelet braces your wrist like a protectiveness. He is always there like a protective barrier to you.

“I thought you will take my side but you are literally laughing like them.”

“I’m sorry Seonghwa but you looked so funny while complaining. Its not like I’m a tidy person myself so….”

You walk towards Wooyoung and snatch the packet of snacks from him, ignoring his whines. Munching on some, satisfied with the spicy chilli-peppered flavour, you again go near the eldest one.

His confused eyes keenly following your every move and his eyes go wide when you a bundle of papers which are kept in a place altogether on the table in front of the sofa.

“What the hell….”

Wooyoung skipping steps towards you, messily throw some other stuffs towards Seonghwa and others joined in the fun too. That’s how the chaos filled with some running after others, scolding, whining and laughs echoed throughout the place.

Whatever their individual life was, one thing was common among them. It’s you. Their precious treasure in life. You were their everything. You were meant to keep safe by them as you were their only hope in life.

To be their light.

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Your gaze falls on the diary still kept in the place where it used to be on the table. You don’t know exactly to whom this actually belongs to but you know, this is most important thing to them. Maybe was. They are no more here to keep this diary. You put the diary in your backpack when you notice a drone placed in a corner and you know that’s broken.

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“What are you doing Yeosang?”

He is still connecting the wires and testing his remote, not aware of your presence behind him. You place your hand on his shoulder for him to get startled and the drone on which he was working fell from his hand.

“Oh…I’m so sorry…I didn’t mean to scare you…”

“Y/N. Its you. I thought….Leave it. What are you doing here today?”

“Wooyoung has a dance battle later this evening and he asked me to go there to watch his performance. So, your eyes are blessed with my beauty.”

He chuckles. Taking the drone in his hands, he gets up to put it on a shelf nearby. He is the quietest one in this group and the reason is very clear. Somehow, like Seonghwa his life is also controlling one but in a different way. He belongs to a royal family from the city, Sector 1. He has an image to be maintained and also his father doesn’t like him to be friends with others who don’t belong to any royal blood. He is the first one you met. You first met him while you were returning home from school and he was standing in the middle of the road looking up at the sky, maybe questioning about himself. About his life. That’s how you become friends when you two met often at that street and that’s how he introduced you to Seonghwa at one convenience store. Yeosang is very talented in every stuff but outstanding when it comes to technology. You know his secret feelings about everything as he only shares such things with you. And you are always there to listen to him. You are his little blue bird to keep the secrets safe. A bird of hope.

“lets go.”

“where?”

“Come on. Don’t you wanna see how well Yunho choreographed Some steps for Wooyoung?”

You gladly accept his hand and go to the other room where both of them were practicing to a song, you heard it before from them ‘To the beat’.

Both of them are very passionate when it comes to dancing. You love to see the rage behind their eyes to make every step to a perfect level and until they are satisfied, they are repeating the steps again and again.

“Yunho, why don’t you go to the dance battles as well?”

The music is already paused by the other to get some water and so your words are well audible to the tallest one. You could see a sad expression flick to his eyes but quickly he sends a wide smile towards you. This does not ease your worry for him. He doesn’t share much with you but he is the most comfortable person to spend time with. He is the one to give you hug after a long day, to give you the feelings of having an older brother. Brother? Is that he to you? You don’t know what they are to you. But they are everything you need. He is a perfect brother for his friends in this place and a perfect man for every girl out there. And for you?

You feel hands engulfing you in a bear hug. You smile widely, snuggling to the chest, knowing who this is.

“How are you tiny?”

“Ugh! I’m not tiny. Joong is tiny. Call him that, not to me. I’m very tall, atleast than majority of the girls in my neighbourhood.”

“Whatever makes you stand tall.”

“My legs keep me stand tall. You are just too tall Yunho. A walking giraffe.”

“Excuse me.”

“You cant be excused. Woo….lets run away before this giant bury me here.”

Grabbing his wrist, you run outside. Don’t know where. But atleast every place is like heaven when one of them is with you.

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A thud sound makes you startled and then you noticed how a black cat has entered the place. You didn’t notice before but the gate is open and maybe the cat has entered through it as there is no other possible entrance. ‘But I’m sure, I had closed the gate when I entered here’. The black cat sniffing a cabinet and you thought of some food or something is kept there but still out of curiosity, you made your way towards the cat.

The cat is not frightened with your presence near it but as if it is signalling you to open the drawer. With shaky hands, you pull the handle.

An hourglass? No wait. It’s that ‘cromer’.

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“Don’t touch it.”

“Hm?”

“Capt…I mean Hongjoong doesn’t let anyone to touch it.”

“Why? What is this?”

“its cromer. it’s a very important part of our life, especially to him. Come on, lets go to the park.”

“Jongho. Are you all not hiding something from me, right?”

Silence. Your anticipation for an answer grows with each second of his mouth shut and slow breathing.

“…no..”

“hmmm…so you are.”

“what do you mean?”

“Well, I know I’m not close to you all for a long time like you guys are from your childhood but in these five years, I have come to know a lot about you all and also not. Whenever, one of you spend time with me, shares a lot of things with me. I start to think, I have known you completely. I know you all. But the next second I don’t , as if you all are ones with hidden life. What are you all hiding from me?”

“y/N…its nothing like you think.”

“It is everything that I think and like you know. Its nothing the way you all are trying to show me things. If you want me to stay away from this, I will. Stay away from you- “

“never. We wont let you stay away from us.”

“I cant. I cant stay away from you all. You guys are like pirates in my life. The eight boys with individual mysterious pasts and united through friendship and on a heist to conquer the treasure. But, I don’t know what I am. An intruder in the pirate ship, maybe?”

“Our light. Our precious treasure.”

Their light.

Jongho, the youngest of the group. You met him when he was thrashing things around the basketball ground because his dreams of being an athletic came to an end after his accident where he hurt his leg and hand. You still don’t know the cause of it but you know both jongho and yunho feel uncomfortable with the topic and so you keep quiet with this. Jongho is the not the one to show affection in front of everyone but he is really a caring person when you are alone with him. He is a very passionate guy with his personal things, majorly his singing. His soothing honey like voice and gummy smile is everything you need to keep your nightmares away. He is a great listener like yeosang and so the most of the time when you are feeling low, you can find these two beside you.

▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️

There is no one to light up your darkness now. You are all alone here. In this cold abandoned building, sitting in front of the table in middle of the warehouse.

▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️

Palms pressed over your eyes, a presence behind your back, pushing you towards your front.

“Mingi…you know I can’t see when you are literally closing my eyes. Slow down. I can’t match your steps here where different things bumping my shoe.”

“I told you, yeosang to keep your gadgets somewhere else then why are they scattered here?”

You could hear Mingi scolding Yeosang but you know Seonghwa is already picking up the things from the ground.

“So? You could have done then, why still waited for me to clean the mess? I am very much busy.”

Your hands come up to remove his hands from your eyes when you come to a pause but he holds it tighter.

“Not now.”

Licking your lips, you pull your lower lip between your teeth and contemplating as what need to be unfold here. What are they upto? Its not your birthday today then-

“Congratulations on being with us for five years.”

Your eyes squint several times to adjust with the view. Hongjoong standing with a cake in his hand, smiling widely at you with Seonghwa glaring at Wooyoung and trying to smile at you because the other one is trying to blow away the candles. Yeosang by your side gives you a smile and congratulates you with San behind him, giving you his eye smile.

“Y/N. You better blow the candles before him or I have to smack him and light it up again.”

“Don’t worry, San. I’m sure he doesn’t want his name to be removed from the dance club.”

“But you don’t know that Yeosang is there to help that menace so better be prepared.”

Yunho comes to your other side with jongho trailing behind and both of them are smiling wide at you but something is there that Yunho is sad about because he is the worst one when it comes to hide his feelings. Its not right time to ask him but maybe later.

“Tiny. San is right. Never trust these two’s intentions. They are bestfriends and they can do anything for each other.”

“Aren’t you all?”

Yunho asks in surprise, “What?”

“Best friends? Aren’t you all best friends with each other?”

“No tiny. We are more than that. We are like brothers, Hongjoong accepted me in this group as if…as if…he is my own elder brother. But soon after others treated me the same. We are a family.”

“So, you all are to me. My family. Also, you all need to stop calling me tiny. I’m not Tiny.”

“Of course, you are.”

All of them laugh at you and meanwhile Jongho pats your head with shaking his head to ignore them. He signals you to blow the candles and when you are about to blow it, you pause. Their worried and confused looks earn a chuckle out of you.

“Whose plan is this for our 5 years?”

They all stare at you. Wait not you. Someone behind you. Mingi.

You quickly turn around, causing his hands to fall from your shoulders. Small eyes and wide smile staring down at you.

“What happened?”

“Thank you.”

He turns you around and hands resting on your shoulder like before and now, you smile towards everyone.

He whispers in your ears, “Welcome.”

“Also, I like the name ‘our girl’ because you all are my ‘my boys’. No wait. ‘My Pirates’.”

Their smiles drop for a mere moment but quickly nod their heads and you blow away the candles.

What are they to you? It’s obvious that they are your family. The only people who actually cared for you like a family. They are like brothers with each other but with you. With you? Did you fall in love with them? Love? You haven’t thought like this with them but you are sure one person is always making it obvious. Even if you feel a little bit something more with them. You are sure its not the same from the other end.

San. He has almost confessed his feelings several times but you just waved it off with changing the topic or just giving him a smile. You being their light was first referred by him. His life is very unstable unlike others. He had to change schools several times and this time, he made himself clear that he has to permanently settle down at one place. Due to changing places often, he does not have any one permanent in his life like you before meeting them. That is why, you are so close with him. The nights you both spend together with your head resting on his shoulder and talking about your life. The comfortable silence between you both and whispers which are only for between you two.

San is a comfort place. They all are. In their own way. The way mountains stand high to protect the nature and its beauty, he is the one shielding all of you and can even sacrifice himself to save you all. To save the friendship and the bonding of the family.

To protect his light.

Their light.

Their treasure.

You.

The member who is just the opposite to San is Mingi. He is a mysterious person. Its true that they all have some hidden past but his present is also hidden. When San is very physical and verbal with everything, Mingi is quiet and staying all by himself. When you first met him, he was still in school and he got in many fights and Jongho and San were there to bring back him from the scene. He is the one who still thinks himself as the extra member in the family even after so many years. You don’t want him to be left out in any way so you always keep his update whenever you are with them. He always keeps his earplugs on and closing his eyes, staying in a corner of the warehouse. But secretly, he is the most emotional one.

Maybe they have individual mysterious past and some uneven presents which are not clear to you. You don’t know exactly what they do for the living but one thing is common. The future with you all together. The uncalled blurry future which is peeking like a moonlight yet you are not fazed with it. The way they keep you safe from this world. You need to keep them safe from whatever lingering danger roaming around for them.

But, can you?

▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️

“Mr. kang Mr. kang please tell me. Tell me. What’s going on here? Where are they?”

“Go away. Just go away. You don’t have to know about this. I’m sure you don’t want to end up in a similar way like them.”

“what? What happened to them?”

“Nothing you need to know.”

“I have to. I need to know. Let me enter the building. Leave my hand. I need to see them.”

You are screaming and the people crowding the place are looking in between the warehouse entrance and to the side where Mr. kang is holding your arm, preventing you from entering the building. You could see many police cars and ambulance all around. Government forces are also guarding and preventing from anyone trespassing the area which they have already closed with barricades and no entry tapes.

Your screams are echoing the place even silencing the thunderstorm and heavy rain at the moment. Everything is blur to your eyes. Your tears and raindrops mixing together same as the way your hope to meet them mixing with the worry of what happened to them. Everything is crashing to the ground with each rain drop. But one thing is still in your mind, to see them.

A government officer comes near you and Mr. Kang, and your hope to know about the scene rises.

“Hello, Mr.kang.”

“please, what happened? Let me enter. Please.”

The officer looks at you for a moment before Mr. kang speak up, “Ignore her. I will take care of this. So, that’s the end, right?”

“No one is alive. Each on of them is deceased. Also…your son was there too. One among the deceased ones.”

“I know.”

You look towards them with horror in your eyes, “Who?”

“Kang Yeosang.”

Yeosang.

One of the deceased. Them. They are deceased.

You sat on the muddy ground with bawling your eyes out and crying louder. If it were some other times then one or the others would come running to you to engulf you in a tight hug and never let you go until you had come down. But now again. Its you all alone. You don’t have a family now. But atleast you have wonderful memories with a family.

▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️

You are again crying and hiccupping like that day again now, sitting on the sofa with the cromer and your backpack. You don’t know what to do with these stuffs but you are going to take all their stuffs with yourself before someone else gets their hand on them.

The cat is still roaming around the place. You put the cromer on the table where moonlight is coming directly from the big ventilators and starts to put everything possible in your bag. Its late at night already and your eyes feeling droopy with tiredness and crying. So, placing the bag aside, you lie down on the sofa to rest yourself.

“She is lonely without us. I can’t see her like this.”

The girl’s head resting on the thighs of the tallest man among them. His hands combing her hairs and caressing the scalp in between. Her legs placed over the other’s thigh, one with broad shoulders and his hands drawing soothing circles over her sides to lull her to sleep.

The other peeking down at her with his best friend from behind the sofa and tears glistening their eyes. Another tall man sitting on a chair nearby the sofa, staring at the tired body sleeping soundly in his friends’ hold.

“She is still wearing my bracelet.” Said the one who is examining her hand and the bracelet.

“She even put my drone in her bag.” The eldest who is still holding the bracelet in his hold looks at the person behind the sofa on hearing his words.

The person beside him nods his head with similar sad smile, “She even pass through the dance club with the hope that she would still see me waiting for her.”

“Everything is still in the same place. Thanks to that dad of mine to lock the place and not letting anyone to enter here but I know he is just going to sell this place to the government and she is doing her best to protect this place with her all might.” Yeosang says while wiping the tears and turning away from them.

The leader kneels in front of his face and removes the loose strands of hairs and tugging them behind before caressing her cheeks with a soft smile on his face but tears threating to fall from his eyes.

“I should not have included her in my life when I knew that one day, I need to leave her here all alone. I should not have showed her the hope of us together forever.” He pauses before continuing, “I thought I could have achieved both- the victory and her but I lost both.”

“But you said We can get back with her and that’s possible?”

“I don’t know, Mingi. I don’t know anything anymore.”

“Is it possible?”

Everyone looks towards the youngest on his sudden question as he was being all quiet and him asking the leader caught everyone’s attention.

“What?”

“Is it possible to start again?”

Hongjoong turns back to the girl sleeping peacefully while the eldest caressing her hand. The leader’s thumb ghosts over the dried tears over her cheeks and dry lips with exhaustion reflecting from her whole self.

“I don’t know what to do but everything is possible till she is being our light and our precious treasure which we need to protect. Our only hope to start a new beginning from the horizon.”

Honjoong leans forward to peck her lips.

▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️

Your eyes shot open and you sit up. You are sweating and bring your fingers to your lips, you feel as if the dream was real. They were here. No. how can they be? You touch your forehead and then to your neck, you are having fever. Its just a dream because of your exhaustion. It was a fever dream.

‘Everything is possible till she is being our light.’

‘Their precious treasure.’

Your eyes stare at the cromer. You need to know about them all over again but in details. You need to find their past and what happened to them that day.

‘Our only hope to start a new beginning from the horizon.’

The diary.

You rummage through the items to get the diary and quickly pull it out.

The title written on it: ‘From the witness.’

Flips open the diary, the first page reflects the word, ‘The Black Pirates’.

The words written scribbled below are Passion Young Fever.

“Is this the end?”

“Or is it the beginning of the end?”

The fever dream was real?

Or actually, you never met them?

Or maybe, It’s just the part of the witness you read in this diary and all these times you spend yourself imagining in her place.

Was it her dream?

Or yours?

……..

[ Now listen here! When writing this down, i literally plotted a whole series but somehow i uploaded this one-shot on the request. maybe I would write a series on this in future. Should I make it a series?]

Perma Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @vvshere @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @eriny123 @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon [open!]

142 notes · View notes

jeonqkooks · 1 year

Note

hello, my angel! congrats on your anniversary for starters hehehehe, i love you!

for the drabbles requests, could you do:

21 and 41 - smut

8 and 9 - fluff

thank you 🥰

velvet cherry | jjk (m.)

pairing: jungkook x reader

prompts: "call me that again." + "lay down and stay still."

rating: 18+ (minors dni)

genre: exes to lovers (??), agent/spy au (idk it's pretty vague but all you need to know is that their profession is smth like this!), some fluff, some angst, definitely smut

warnings: mentions of injuries, mentions of violence (gunshots, blood), mentions of death, cursing, shower sex, unprotected sex (this is fictional. don't do it irl, be smart dudes), fingering, a lil dirty talk, UNEDITED bc i'm a menace :p

word count: 5.9k

note: pauli bby!! thank you for the request hehehe. the initial idea i had for this request was different but i was watching bad and crazy (kdrama) and every time lee dong wook has an action scene i'm just sitting there in front of my laptop, full on thirsting bc 🤤🥵 and i just had to channel it into this piece!!

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Everyone is yelling, screaming. Even the force trying to shake you into consciousness practically shouting in your face. Your head feels like it’s been split into two even without all of the loud noises threatening to deafen you. Your body hurts. You’ve definitely bruised your ribs, if they aren’t already broken. Even your face, which remains unmoving, aches from the simple act of breathing.

Inhale. One, two, three…

Exhale. One, two, three…

Stay alive.

It would kind of really suck if you died right now.

Embarrassing, even.

“C’mon, c’mon, wake up! Y/N!”

Huh? You know that voice.

It feels like your eyes have been glued shut, but that voice is so familiar that your lids wrestle with weariness to get a look. It can’t be him, can it? How would he even know that you were here?

Does that mean this is heaven? Or the void, or wherever the fuck it is that people often preach about? You have never believed in an afterlife because any and all life ends after death. Your soul doesn’t enter another spiritual plane of existence; you just simply cease to exist. This has always been your stance on the matter, but now, as you listen to that voice desperately cursing out your name, you waver.

Because that’s the only way you can explain why he’s here.

Oh, so you did die?

“Y/N!”

Heaven, or the void, or wherever the fuck this is, sure is loud.

You force your eyes open despite the debilitating exhaustion eating away at you. It takes a moment for your vision to adjust to your poorly lit surroundings. From the corner of your eye, you see small fireworks erupting before their booming echoes reverberate throughout the room. The lead projectiles whiz above your head, right behind the silhouette of him hovering over you, calling for you, shielding you.

Once his face becomes your focal point, everything around you staticizes. You can’t find it in yourself to care about the screams, nor the gunshots, or even the gash in your side where a knife grazed you earlier.

Not when he’s looking at you like that. Like if you were to die, there’s not a single part of him that would hesitate to follow.

“I thought I recognized th–that voice.” You cough, feeling the cut on your lips open wider. You hadn’t noticed the metallic taste on your tongue until now. “Funny seeing you here, Jeon.”

The feeling in the pit of your stomach thickens. It could be relief, or it could be dread. The lights go out before you get a chance to decipher which one it is.

The next time you wake, you jolt upright with a gasp.

“Ah, shit,” you instantly groan; it feels like something sharp is jabbing into your abdomen. You brush your hand over the spot to find smears of crimson on your clothes, but the wound underneath doesn’t seem to be bleeding anymore.

Where the fuck is it now?

Your frantic eyes scan the room, expecting to find yourself still in that warehouse, hopelessly holding on for life while your teammates get killed one by one.

But you aren’t there anymore. There aren’t bodies scattered all around you nor bloodstains splattered carelessly on peeling walls.

No, where you are smells like jasmine and fresh cotton. It’s warm and bright, and it’s filled with framed photos of a familiar dog that you once loved even more than his owner. The couch beneath you feels like a cloud carrying you through the pearly gates.

Arguably, this seems more like heaven. Or is it a twisted version hell? It feels like a stretch that someone like you could get into heaven, if there even is one.

“Welcome back, sleeping beauty.” His voice from behind startles you into action. You spring from the couch, or more like, you clumsily jump up only to be met with white hot pain that courses through your entire left side, and fall down onto the sofa again.

“Fuck!” you hiss through gritted teeth.

He rushes over, almost dropping the mug he was holding in his hand. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

Apologetic hands help you into a proper sitting position. You don’t know why or how, but it really is him.

Jeon Jungkook, what a sight for sore eyes.

The discomfort you feel in your body takes a backseat momentarily as you stare at him and his beautiful doe eyes, shimmering with concern though it’s now much more diluted than before. He examines the stitches on your forehead and your side, it’s been a while since he’s done this.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

You snap back into reality at the sound of this.

Fuck! How could it have possibly slipped your mind?

Your words come out in an uneasy rush. “Where’s Namjoon and the others?”

Jungkook stares at you, tongue in cheek, blinking in mild disbelief. Of course the first question you ask is about your team. You haven’t changed, he sees. “They’re at the hospital. They’re fine,” he says.

You close your eyes and heave a heavy sigh, visibly relaxing at his confirmation. When you turn to him again, you ask, “Where are we?”

“My apartment.”

“Why? Why am I not at the hospital with them?”

“You don’t remember?”

The confused look on your face tells him as much.

“You woke up while they were stitching you up. Nearly made a scene and everything. You kept saying you wanted to go home, but your place was trashed so I… brought you here.”

You wonder if you had actually demanded to be brought to his place specifically, after seeing him when you were so delirious before. You wonder if he’s just sparing you the embarrassment. “Oh,” you say simply, glancing around the room. You haven’t been here in a long time, but most of the things here are still the same.

“You haven’t answered my question. How are you feeling? Are you okay?”

You shrug, ignoring the throbbing pain that has dulled into a perpetual pinch in your side. “Of course I’m okay. Still alive and kicking.”

Jungkook’s brows furrow just the slightest. “You almost died tonight.”

“But I didn’t die, did I?”

“Why are you acting like it’s no big deal?”

Nostalgia washes over you in waves. You’ve had the same conversation a million times before.

“Because it isn’t that big a deal,” you say, feeling the urge to coat your words in a thick layer of bravery. “It’s not my first rodeo.”

“And that’s supposed to make it better? You could’ve died!”

“What is up your ass?” you ask jokingly, but it doesn’t sound right even to your ears. “You keep pushing it like you wanted me to die.”

Jungkook stares at you blankly, but you can tell that he’s agitated by your flippant attitude. You regret the words the very second you said them.

“That’s not funny,” he says, his voice strained.

Slightly ashamed, you look down at your hands and fiddle with your grimy fingers. “Y–yeah, I’m sorry. That was… too far.”

There’s a bitter taste in your mouth as you watch him grit his teeth and attempt to exhale a steady breath. It comes out a little shaky, a sign of his frustration. He takes a few minutes to calm his nerves while you sit there in silence, not usually tongue tied around him but even you know that what you just told him was pretty fucked up.

Finally, Jungkook says, “Get some rest. You had a long day.” He goes to help you up without you asking, still so considerate even when he’s trying to not be angry at you, but that’s not what you need right now.

“Can I take a shower first?” you ask.

“You just got your stitches a couple hours ago. You can shower in the morning.”

“I know. It’s… I’m covered in blood and dirt. I’d really like to wash it off.”

He looks at you as he considers it. This isn’t Jungkook’s first rodeo either. He had to deal with you countless times like this, when you’re freshly wounded but you don’t seem to give a damn about doing things that might hurt you even more.

“Suit yourself. You know where the bathroom is.”

You mutter a thanks as you let him pull you up from the cloud that he calls a couch. You could feel his eyes on you as you wobble to your desired destination, but even the short distance between his living room and bathroom proves to be a whole trek in your current condition. You’re surprised that you even made it to the hall when your legs finally gave out on you. You brace yourself against the wall, but one of Jungkook’s strong arms is already wrapped around your waist, steadying you before you could collapse.

“You should get some sleep. You can barely walk,” he urges gently.

“I feel like shit, Jeon,” you tell him. “I won’t be able to get any rest like this.”

“Y/N–”

“We both know you’re not talking me out of it. You can choose if you’re gonna help me or not, though.”

“You want me to help you… shower?”

“Will you?”

He won’t, you’re sure of this. Jungkook isn’t teasing or frivolous as you are. He doesn’t go around testing people’s patience like you do. The relationship didn’t end on bad terms, and you think he has deliberately kept it that way because you have to see each other at work so often, even though you’re assigned to different teams. You want to keep things light, to joke around with him, to essentially still be you and him minus the romance but Jungkook keeps you at arm’s length. And if you’re honest, you can’t blame him for that. That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t suck sometimes; you used to love him after all.

He looks pensive for a moment, and you don’t know why he’s even pretending to consider it when he’ll just say no anyway. You’re prepared for him to reject you and leave you to your own devices, but then–

“Fine,” Jungkook says, voice flat, eyes blank. “C’mon, I’ll help you.” It surprises you into complete stillness, wondering if the doctors and nurses fucked up when they were stitching up your head. The man in front of you raises an eyebrow when you don’t respond to him, as if he’s challenging you, which staggers you even more because he usually doesn’t entertain your outrageous ideas like this. Especially not after you parted ways.

You blink a couple of times and find your voice from where it’s stuck to the back of your throat. “Okay then. Lead the way.”

Jungkook guides you down the hall and into the bathroom. You think he’s just baiting you, challenging you back to see if you would actually be okay with hopping into the shower with your ex because even though it isn’t that scandalous of an idea to you, it is to Jungkook. You expect him to back out any second now, but once you’re standing under the warm white light of his bathroom, he asks if he could take off your clothes.

Have you underestimated him?

You nod your head, eyeing him with a smug smile tugging at the corner of your lips and a barely-there layer of underlying nervousness. His face gives nothing away. So you two are really going to do this, huh?

Jungkook peels off your bloodied shirt, careful not to let his fingers brush against your skin though they will have to in just a few minutes. He averts his gaze as he helps you step out of your clothes until you’re completely bare.

You mistake his reluctant eye contact for shyness. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen before,” you joke.

True.

But no, that’s not the reason why he refuses to look at you.

He hated seeing you in pain, covered in bruises and cuts. It’s why the two of you broke up. You were too stubborn to quit, and he couldn’t stand watching you treat yourself like mere collateral damage, as long as you get the job done.

It wasn’t that you couldn’t take care of yourself. In a lot of ways, you’re far more capable and skilled than he is. But sometimes you can be reckless, a little too hot headed for your own good, a little too heedless of your own safety than he can handle.

He loved that you were remarkable at what you do; it’s what drew him to you in the first place. When you used to spar together, at the beginning of your relationship, he loved that you could kick his ass so easily. Sometimes, even on his best days, he was still no match for you.

But what’s the point in dwelling? None of that matters anymore.

Jungkook takes off his own clothes then, and you resist the urge to focus on his body too much. He’s gotten even more muscular than the last time you got to see him naked. Hard pecs that are practically popping in your face, solid abs that demand to be touched… Well, this is going to be… interesting.

He tests the water first before he lets you go in. When you finally do, you sigh as the warm water rains down on your skin, enveloping you in a liquified blanket of comfort. You’re trying not to let your eyes wander, you really are.

You hum happily when he smooths the shampoo over your hair. As his fingers massage your scalp gently, a soft moan escapes your throat. The sound travels straight to his groin, making him stiffen just a little bit and poke into your thigh. You bite your bottom lip to suppress a giggle but Jungkook just clears his throat awkwardly. Getting a boner feels inappropriate in a moment like this, when you’re his ex and you had nearly died earlier tonight.

But he isn’t responsible for the way his body chooses to react, not really. You’re showering together, for fuck’s sake. Though to be fair, he has no one to blame but himself for this irrational decision.

When he lathers you up with his body wash, you decide to do it again, just to tease him. As his hands start kneading one of your breasts, you let out a slightly exaggerated moan.

He knows you’re doing it on purpose, but his dick is stupid and it hardens regardless. “Quit it,” Jungkook says.

“Quit what?” you ask, batting your eyelashes at him coquettishly. You put a hand on his chest, then trails it lower to graze his defined abs. “You look like you’re enjoying it, no?”

He doesn’t answer you, choosing to focus on his task of washing you instead, as if ignoring you will make you stop whatever it is you’re doing.

You trace your fingers along his V-line until you wrap your hand around him, making him hiss as you touch him. You give him a few lazy pumps until his member is standing tall and proud, just for you.

“Y/N…” Jungkook grits his teeth and swallows thickly. The steam is suffocating him. You are suffocating him.

“You can tell me if you don’t want it.” You tilt your head up, letting your face inch closer to his until your breath fans his lips. You feel him grip your waist – an act of restraint – then quickly loosen his hands around your body as if he suddenly remembered that you’re still battered up. You brush your lips against his, just testing him. You both know a kiss would be so much more intimate than what you’re doing to him down there.

He parts his lips slightly, the temptation is getting too strong to resist. You cloud his judgment the same way the hot water encloses the room in a mystifying haze. He presses forward to capture your lips, only to feel himself completely melt against you in an instant.

You taste like longing, like regret. Something like a needle pierces right through his heart when you give him a needy sigh, muffled by his own lips.

He knows he shouldn’t do this, but is it a mistake? Even if it is a mistake, he can’t find it in himself to stop, now that it has already started. You’re still as alluring and captivating as ever, and he’s still the same Jungkook who always fell to his knees for you.

“Touch me,” you whisper.

“Y–you’re hurt,” Jungkook rasps. Is that the only reason? There’s no conviction behind his words and he knows you know it. If he was really against this, then he would’ve stopped you already.

“Please.” Your voice is different, desperate, when you say this. He can’t tell if you’re crying or not because of the water still glistening on your face, but it doesn’t matter. When your hand guides one of his between your legs, he squeezes his eyes shut, searching inward for that last bit of self-control that’s nowhere to be found right now. You’re so fucking slick, and as his middle finger slides through your sodden folds to find your entrance, your head falls upon his shoulder.

“Fuck,” he mutters to himself, barely audible to you over the sound of running water. You’re hurt. He knows he should stop, but he can’t. His thumb finds your clit in no time, and nudges it the way he remembers you liked. You choke on an exhale, now grinding against his hand and gripping his biceps to keep yourself upright. He rubs you leisurely as the water cascades down your bodies. A part of him thinks he’s twisted for enjoying the quiet whimpers you let out.

“Are you sure?” he asks, both hoping for and dreading the answer you might give him.

“Yes,” you confirm. You press his hand harder against your core, as if you’re begging him to pleasure you. “Make me feel better.”

Jungkook slides two digits into you before he slants his mouth over yours, swallowing the moan that you instantly keen out. You’re wet enough that his fingers can drive in and out of you without much mercy from the get-go. He buries them in you until he’s knuckles deep, scissoring you open how he always did to prepare you for his cock.

“Fuck, Jeon,” you purr, rolling your hips to meet the thrusts of his hand. “That’s good.”

“Yeah?” He smirks, finding that spot inside of you that never fails to make your legs shake. His strong arm holds you flush against his body as he relentlessly fingers you, absolutely loving the way your juices run down the back of his hand. There’s a sense of arrogance in the way he fucks you, even though he was hesitant about it just moments ago. The quivering moans that you grace him with are fucking addicting. At least for now, he has you. Standing in his shower, begging him for release, whispering in his ear things that he hasn’t realized how much he’s missed hearing until this very second.

His fingers ram into you until your inner walls are pulsing around him and your voice hitches beautifully. “Fuck!” you cry, holding onto him as the high crashes down on you, sending shockwaves throughout your entire body. You grind down on his hand, wanting so desperately to prolong the pleasure like you’re afraid he’ll take it away from you. Jungkook would never dream of giving you anything less than what you deserve, so he maintains the momentum of his thrusts, fucking you through your orgasm even when you clench so tightly around his digits that it becomes more difficult to move. He helps you through it until your breath no longer comes out in heavy pants, until the only stars you see are the ones in his eyes.

As he withdraws his fingers, you give him a chaste kiss as if to say thank you. He doesn’t expect anything more; it’s enough that he could give you a helping hand in your time of need, make you forget about everything even if it was only for a little while.

But then you’re deepening the kiss, one hand tugging on his hair as the other finds his hard cock again. He groans against your mouth, torn between asking you to keep going and letting you stop. “You don’t have to…” he mutters, placing a hand over yours.

“I want more,” you say breathily, but somehow it sounds almost demanding. “I want you.”

He stares at you with uncertainty in his eyes. “Are you sure you can handle it?”

Your answer comes in the form of a squeeze around his length, making his eyes flutter briefly as he rests his forehead against yours. “I can always take you.”

You watch Jungkook clench his jaw before he crashes his lips onto yours, promptly slipping his tongue into your mouth to draw the neediest of moans from you just by his kiss alone. He lifts you up by the back of your thighs and cages you between the wall and his chest. Your legs wrap around his waist as he presses his body against yours, slowly grinding his cock against your throbbing heat. You whimper when his tip nudges your sensitive clit.

“I need you,” you cry out, rutting against him desperately. He hears it then – the vulnerability in your voice that you try to mask with desire – and that’s when he thinks he gets it. You’re shaken.

You were scared tonight. That’s not something that happens very often.

He was scared too. He nearly lost his mind when he heard the news that your team was ambushed. You should’ve seen his frantic state when he raced to the scene, heart speeding a thousand miles an hour at the mere thought of something happening to you. He prayed to every god he didn’t believe in that you’d be okay, that the phone call he received minutes prior was just a sick prank someone was playing on him.

“I’ve got you,” Jungkook says, diving in to kiss you again. There’s a lot more to those words than either one of you would like to admit.

You both sigh when he pushes in, and although it’s been a long while since your bodies knew one another like this, there’s barely any resistance. He fits perfectly like you were made for each other. He’s bigger than you remember, already feeling so good inside of you that you think you could come with just a few thrusts. Instead of moving, he stays there like he wants to memorize the feeling of you, so warm around him and so inviting.

He was always the sentimental one.

“Move,” you whine, still bossy in a moment like this. He chuckles against your mouth before trailing his lips tantalizingly slowly across your jawline and down your neck to your breasts, where he sucks on your skin harshly, marking you. His hips pull back, making you moan from the delicious glide of him along your slickened walls, before they snap forward and set a pace that has your eyes rolling backward.

“Shit, nghhh…”

It’s like no time has passed at all. Jungkook still remembers everything you like, still knows your body like the back of his hand. You feel like you’re practically transcending the limits of space and time with every thrust of his hips and every motion of his mouth. The rough way that his fingers dig into your thighs to hold you up makes it so much more heightened as his lips wrap around one of your breasts, sucking it harshly into his mouth, his tongue laving at your hardened nipple. Now that you’re finally experiencing this again, you don’t know how you could go two whole years without it.

Every part of you misses him.

No one knows how to please you like he does.

“So fucking good…” Jungkook grunts, flicking your nipple with the wet muscle of his mouth. You arch your tits further into him as moans of unfiltered pleasure fall from you. Even as he fucks you into oblivion, he’s still mindful of your injuries. Strong hands kneading your skin roughly but softening when they brush over your bruised spots.

He tries not to pay much attention to your battle scars, but how could he not? He feels them under his fingertips everywhere they go. Some are from before you met him, some from after. Some he doesn’t recognize because you must have acquired them during your time apart. He always hated them. You used to tell him that you wore your scars proudly, that they are proof that you survived every horrible thing you’ve had to face.

That’s certainly one way of looking at it, but Jungkook hated them then and he hates them now. Not because he thought they made you ugly – no, nothing could make him see you as anything less than the most beautiful person he has ever laid his eyes upon – but because they remind him of all the times that you have had to suffer. They made him feel unworthy of you, for not being there to keep you safe.

But not like you would have let him anyway.

“Ah, fuck, Koo…”

His hips stutter in surprise. He’s not sure if you did it on purpose, or if it just slipped out in the heat of the moment.

“Call me that again,” Jungkook tells you. It doesn’t matter that the simple nickname brings up feelings he’s been trying so hard to suppress. It doesn’t matter that those feelings are damn close to spilling over the confines of his wretched little heart, that it will fucking hurt later when you leave He just needs to hear you say it again.

“Koo, fuck! Right there, keep doing that…”

He tears his mouth away from your chest to come up and chase your lips. His tongue slips inside to dance with yours, so much more intimate than it is dirty that it makes you dizzy beyond nostalgia. In a split second of weakness, it makes your heart want to be his once more. His thrusts are now even faster than before, harder and more calculated.

He pulls back enough to look at you and takes in the blissed look on your face, how your lips part when he hits your g-spot just right. “Y/N, I…”

“I know,” you whimper, your nails digging into his back and leaving angry red trails in their wake as they drag downward. “I’m close too.”

That’s not what he was going to say. Maybe it’s a good thing that you’re too fucked out to notice it.

“C’mon, I’ve got you,” Jungkook resorts to saying. He keeps up the rhythm of his hips, determined to give you what you want the most. He’s pounding into you so impossibly deep that you can feel him in your guts, each thrust making the base of his cock grind against your aching clit. It feels so fucking good, you can’t even see straight anymore. His hand is unknowingly digging into a bruise on your leg but the pleasure is too overwhelming that you’ve stopped caring about the discomfort. This is exactly how you wanted him to fuck you – hard enough to make you forget the pain.

It hits you even harder than before. You cum with a cry of his name as your toes curl and your body shakes in his hold, stars exploding behind your eyelids when the orgasm wracks through you like an earthquake. Jungkook’s hips never cease their movements, fucking into you until you find enough strength to squeeze your walls around him and pulls him in for a sloppy kiss. He unravels then, filling you up endlessly with his warmth that you’re sure you’ll feel for days.

You stay like that for a while, just holding each other, until he softens inside of you and you feel your releases drip down your thighs and onto the floor. The water promptly washes away the remnants of your heated session. When he slips out and helps you to your feet, you want to chase it instantly – the feeling of him, with you, where he’s supposed to be.

You aren’t fully present for everything that happens afterward. As Jungkook dries you off and dresses you, he feels something tug on his heart at the sight of you in his clothes. Your tired face and the way you lean into him, trusting him to keep you steady as he prepares you for bed. Trusting him to keep you safe, to protect you.

He can’t help it.

He tilts your head up by your chin and kisses you softly. Slow. His lips are gentle, but he’s sure of himself. This isn’t the first kiss you’ve shared tonight, but in many ways, it is.

When Jungkook pulls away, he doesn’t say anything. No excuses or explanations on why he chose to do it when the lust has waned and the moment is no longer heated enough to muddle his mind. You don’t ask for anything either; you just let him lead you into his bedroom. That doesn’t mean that you don’t want him to just tell you anyway.

He tucks you into his bed as if you’re a child. When he’s sure that you’re comfortable enough, he turns to leave.

You protest immediately. “Where are you going?”

“To the couch,” he says, like it’s obvious.

You sit up in order to push yourself from the bed, erasing his previous effort of tucking you in. “I’m not making you sleep on the couch in your own home.”

“Lay down and stay still,” Jungkook sighs before pushing you back onto the mattress again. “If I stay here with you, will you please sleep in the bed?”

You purse your lips, considering this for a moment before you compromise. “Yes.”

He turns off all the lights and makes his way to the other side of the bed, getting under the covers with you. You’re disappointed when he puts a little distance between your bodies. It’s not that you expected anything to come from your brief reunion, but your heart sinks regardless. Surely, sleeping in the same bed as your ex can’t be worse than having sex with him? You’ve already done the latter, but somehow this feels so much more intimidating.

You do what you do best when you don’t want to deal with your more difficult feelings – crack lame jokes and hope they’re enough to diffuse the tension. “Why are you so stiff? Scared that I’ll fuck you? Already did that, Jeon.”

Jungkook throws you a humorless chuckle. “Was that your plan all along? To seduce me?”

“It just happened,” you say. “To be honest, I wasn’t sure if you even wanted it before y’know… you popped a boner.”

If the silence in the room was a little bit louder, then you could probably hear the way he pauses halfway through a breath. He doesn’t entertain you for much longer, even though it feels like he’s got something on his mind.

He doesn’t ask what this means for the two of you, if it even meant anything. What’s the point in trying if the outcome is the same? His stance on the matter hasn’t changed at all. After what happened to you tonight, it just fueled him even more. He won’t deny that his feelings for you are still there, because he’d be the first to admit that they never went away to begin with. Jungkook would try, he would try for you a million times over, but in the end, where would that lead to if you wouldn’t even try for yourself? You’ll just keep breaking his heart day in and day out, over and over again if this recklessness of yours persists.

“Go to sleep, Y/N,” he says tiredly.

You bite your lip, disheartened that he’s shutting you out again, even though he has every right to. “Okay,” you mumble.

Despite the exhaustion submerging you like a tidal wave, you can’t find rest. You were conscious for barely half a minute when Jungkook found you in that abandoned warehouse, but you could hear the panic in his voice as he tried to shake you awake. He never had to find you like that before. When you were still together, every time you got hurt, you never let anyone call him until after your wounds had already been stitched up, until you were sure that you were good enough to crack a joke once he’d rushed to the hospital.

Tonight was the first time he saw you on death’s door. You didn’t know if he even cared anymore. You were scared to think that he didn’t.

But then you heard that voice of his, and you opened your eyes just long enough to see the tears fill his eyes. You were so out of it that you thought maybe, just maybe, there was a piece of his heart that still felt something for you. Something beyond just concern for an ex lover.

You don’t know how much time has passed, with you lying there staring into darkness. “Jeon, are you asleep?” you ask quietly, only to be met with silence from his side. Nothing but his steady breathing. You want him to be awake to hear you say it, though you’re not sure how you want him to react to it. The past 2 years have been hard. Your own guilt chews you up and spits you out every single day. The breakup was your fault, wasn’t it? It wasn’t just Jungkook who repeatedly expressed concerns for your safety. Your parents never wanted you to go into this line of work in the first place.

You were too selfish to really consider anyone but yourself. You and Jungkook both do the same thing – you go out and risk your lives every day. But back then, you didn’t understand why you should be the one to stop. Why not him? Why just you?

The difference between the two of you is clear as day. Jungkook knows when to stop, and you don’t. He wanted to be able to make it back home to you more than he wanted to catch a bad guy. He put you first. He put the people who loved him first.

“I think I’m going to quit.”

Your chest feels so much lighter as soon as the words leave your mouth. Something evaporates from within you, a burden that’s finally been lifted, and that’s how you know it’s the right decision. You aren’t doing it just for everyone who loves you but is terrified for your life all the time. You aren’t doing it just for Jungkook. You’re doing it for yourself too.

Peace finally finds you then, as though it’s been waiting for you this entire time.

You don’t mind that Jungkook is already asleep. You said it, and admitting to yourself that maybe it’s time to stop, is good enough. Having that conversation with him in the morning won’t be late. You’re already halfway to dreamland when you feel him right behind you, enveloping you in a warmth that’s so distinctly Jungkook. He carefully wraps an arm around you and pulls you close to his chest, close enough that it feels like his heart is beating right into yours. He sighs, like he’s wholly relieved too.

You can’t discern what he says next, but you can feel the kiss he presses against your hair.

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sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee · 8 months

Note

ok ok ok. some iterations of croc have the external teeth (idk how else to explain that, but you likely get what i mean) and i feel like he would completely freeze up if you went in for a simple cheek kiss. so can we get the big guys reaction to a few impromptu kisses?

"Only teeth" Arkham Killer Croc x Reader

I 100% know exactly what you mean. I'm gonna go for Arkham games croc because he specifically has those!

TW: mentions of cannibalism (brief)

Waylon is rough around the edges and the teeth are a visual indicator of that. Along with, you know, everything else. He's used to people being scared shitless of those teeth. Thinking how they could grind and crunch in them. Thinking of people he's devoured with them.

He doesn't expect you to get all kiss-kiss with him often because of it. It's not shame, just... Why would you want to? Lots of other ways you two can express affection without getting his teeth involved. Unless you like feeling his teeth on you ;)

When you kiss him that first time, off to the side, just where his teeth end to his cheek- he pauses. Did you mean to kiss his jaw and just went in too close to his mouth? He might even move his head.

Oh what, you meant to do that... Huh. He can't remember the last time anyone kissed him around the mouth area. Even when he still had lips, it'd been a while. Once those were gone- He's had to roll with more fucked up punches before in his life.

All of this is processing in his skull after he's realizing you wanted to kiss his teeth. There's some complicated feelings there. Partly, a reminder of how his condition is getting worse. Partly, the fact that you seem to accept him despite this. You might even ask him if that was okay, given his silence and troubled expression.

"Yeah. It's. 's fine." His voice rumbles low, "Do it again." When you lean in to kiss him, soft and longer against his teeth, he hums. That sort of gator bellow he does when he's pleased echoes in his chest. Even if it's not his skin, even if he's not feeling it the same way- it's... Something about it feels human.

He'll never ask you to do that. No, he can't ask for things. He takes them or he goes without. And he won't take from you, not like that. you'd be scared of him, wouldn't you? So he'll wait to see if you do it again. And when you do, he freezes in thought. His eyes close.

The best he can do in return is boop his closed teeth to your forehead or neck. It's a gesture that speaks of safety. Something so close to that fragile skin that could kill you in an instant. It reaffirms that something in him is still a person, despite everything. You remind him that humanity isn't a waste.

#Killer croc #waylon jones x reader #arkham killer croc #foxwriting

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mformarsala · 2 months

Text

ok long-ish post with my thoughts on how tbb might end

Kinda of a fixed point we have is that Hemlock's research should be successful to a certain degree and lay foundation for cloning Palpatine.

My understanding is that Omega's blood function as a medium, substrate that allows to clone force sensitives while maintaining M-count. So you need Omega's blood and someone force sensitive.

Therefore, either Omega stays at the Tantiss (and tbb all die) or she stays just long enough for them to get enough blood (and than gets rescued by tbb)

While tbb casually kills a lot of characters it does not feel in the tone of the series to go the first glum route (and it does not really fit into overall plot).

I think there will be another time skip where they get enough data of Omega before she is rescued and it will serve to explain why after s3 the empire is no longer after Omega or tbb.

Plus partial success would explain why remnants of the empire are after Grogu in the Mandalorian. Say tbb rescues the force sensitive children and Omega, than the empire has enough of Omega's blood but needs more force sensitive children for experiments. And Hemlock is demoted because of the fiasco and it creates the delay till the Mandalorian in the program.

In s1e2 Cut says "You wanna know how to dissapear? Put being a soldier behind you and make a new life for yourself." so it seems likely to me that the ending of tbb is going to be akin the ending of the Mandalorian and they'll settle as farmers somewhere out of the way.

Maybe with the force sensitive kids, maybe they'll offload them onto someone "who can train them".

Emerie is probably going to defect and stay with the kids.

I hope clones imprisoned on Tantiss will be rescued by tbb. Omega keeps bringing it up for a reason, right?

Comandos... Tbb does not seem to be too focused on forcefully removing chips/programming so they'll probably be reassigned to other projects (in assumption that Tantiss closes at the end of tbb) or disposed off screen.

As I'm writing this I'm realizing that i see tbb ending either with a small farm just for tbb and Omega or a big farm for tbb and all the kids accumulated on the way. My money on the small farm though.

There is a possibility I suppose that Omega IS force sensitive and she goes with the other fs kids and tbb goes to live somewhere else.. But like the only thing that suggests that ending is that one line from Ventress. And I think the whole obsession with Omega's blood works differently. It's not confirmed high M-count, it's confirmed high M-count replication.

With how little Echo was in this season it does seem likely that the rumors are true and there will be another animated series. The story of Emerie, comandos, and freed clones might continue there.

Big question of course is the identity of CX-2.

Narratively I think the only option that makes sense is Tech. Plus observations I have seen online regarding speech patterns and fighting moves do seem convincing. However, I do have some reservations here. CX-2 is almost.. too good to be Tech? Absolutely no shade to Tech but he was always part of a team and not a sole operative and focused on technical aspects and his weapon of choice were pistols rather than a rifle. Idk if time skip was enough to retrain him.

CX-2's distorted voice is different from CX's distorted voice. On one hand Tech's voice is different from reg's so it's a point for team Tech. On the other CX's voice sounds nothing like clone's and it was a bit of a reveal in s2 that the operative was a clone so maybe it's neither here nor there.

The second obvious option that comes to mind is Cody. Rampart knows about CX program; a clone that expresses doubts regarding empire is send to a secret reconditioning program and if anyone asks "he went AWOL". I mean it sounds plausible. Plus Cody is usually depicted wielding DC-15 either carbine or rifle so it's perhaps an easier switch to the CX's rifle. Though this season noone is mentioning Cody so it does seem far fetched. Unless face reveal is like the final frame of s3 and is used to pivot into the new series.

#star wars #sw #the bad batch #tbb #m says

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foster-the-moths · 1 year

Text

verify (catalyst but worse au)

jonah wakes up, and gets in contact with someone he thought he left for dead.

1,474 words. what else am i supposed to put idk man just take it

"….adam? are you there?"

silence. unbearable silence. silence that tears a hole in their chest as it echoes and rings in his ears. silence that consumes what little scrap of sanity they had left, because really, what were they expecting? there's no way he was still alive. they-

a crackle of static.

"…jo...nah?"

holy shit.

"adam! are- are you…. okay? are you out of the basement? please tell me you're, like, the REAL adam and not an alternate," jonah babbles as he clutches the walkie talkie in his hand like a lifeline. their head pulses as they lean on the outside of the wrecked car, bracing themself against a wave of nausea and… static? that's not normal. he… probably has MAD, or something. everything feels slightly off, like someone moved reality three inches to the right. or left. or both? he doesn't know, he feels like he doesn't know anything. and- wait. adam. that's right. jonah hasn't heard him say anything, did he miss something? he brings the radio up to his ear, straining to listen.

"…"

nothing but static.

"adam? come on, if you're still in the basement then please just… get out of there man. i- uh… i crashed the car, but i didn't really get that far, so i can just start walking back. i'll meet you there, just… get out of the house and we can… i don't know. get out of here. just get out and i'll meet you there," jonah ends their sentence with a hiss through clenched teeth. fuck, his head is killing him, the pain swallowing him whole as it-

"no. no, i'm not coming out."

jonah snaps back to reality, his thoughts cut short like a tv being unplugged. "h-whuh?"

"i'm staying here. just leave," adam's garbled voice insists. it's as if he's speaking through cotton and static. shit. jonah's radio must've gotten damaged during the crash. these were the long-distance ones, too… jonah shakes their head, and then immediately regrets it as a spike of pain shoots through their head. it doesn't matter. all that matters is getting adam out of that stupid house.

jonah takes a breath, steadying themself. they really aren't the best at apologies, and whatever's wrong with their head isn't going to make it easier. regardless, they swallow their pride and prepare to speak.

"adam listen i- i'm sorry, okay? i'm really sorry i said that shit to you and-"

"no. you don't- jonah, i… i'm not real. i'm not adam," adam interrupts jonah's apology with a harsh buzz of static, the words sending a pit of dread into their stomach.

"…what do you mean?" jonah grits out, refusing to believe the implications those words carried.

"i was never adam. the real adam murray died when he was four i- i'm an alternate. always have been. i just never knew until now." jonah stays silent as the words register, more confused than ever. it just… didn't make sense. the pieces of this puzzle weren't connecting in his mind. adam was human. he knows that. right?

"just leave," adam- or whoever- snaps.

jonah pauses. something… wasn't right. alternates don't just reveal themselves before they even get caught. besides, from what jonah's heard, they would never pass up on an easy meal. or victim. or whatever they saw humans as. maybe he should have paid more attention to those drills, rather than rolling his eyes whenever they were mentioned, but… this does not seem like something an alternate would say. either this "alternate" has a very strange strategy, or its not an alternate at all.

"… how old was i when i got my driver's license?"

"what?"

"just answer the question," jonah insists, his suspiscion growing stronger at how perplexed the "alternate" sounds. he just hopes he's right about this. that they aren't playing into some sort of elaborate trap. he holds his breath as he waits for an answer. there's silence for a moment, but then-

"…you don't have one. your parents didn't want you to take the test until you got your grades together, but you never did. i taught you how to drive after we started going on investigations."

bingo. jonah was right.

"… shit… you- you're really him. you just- okay- okay uh-"

"that's it? you're just going to believe me?" adam's voice cuts through jonah's rambling, disbelief tinging his distorted voice.

"well yeah- i mean. no way you could fake knowing that. and uh- okay well maybe i should ask more questions, just in case?" jonah nearly smacks his head. he was really just going to put full faith into a single question? god. they're pretty sure their hunch is correct, and it's hard to think through the pounding pain in their head, but that doesn't mean they need to fling themselves into the lion's den after one point towards their theory. they need more than that. compiling evidence, or whatever sarah would say. he's so caught up in berating himself that he almost misses the "alternate's" response.

"…sure. whatever," a tight voice replies.

jonah collects his thoughts, thinking of a good question to ask. "okay, uh. what kind of pizza do we always get?"

"pepperoni from 7/11. its the cheapest stuff near hq and the cheese pizza is awful," comes the reluctant answer. jonah can hear the scoff in the other's voice, can imagine adam starting a tangent spurred by the mere thought of the sad excuse for cheese pizza at their local gas station. jonah shakes himself out of his thoughts, now was not the time. he had to stay focused. their theory was looking more plausible by the moment.

"okay, what about sarah? what's the name of that one guy she sends those emails to, and why?" jonah awaited the response with baited breath, if he was right, then…

"thatcher davis, that stupid cop. or ex-cop. whatever he is. sarah hates all cops, but she seems to hate that guy in particular. no clue why though, i've never asked her."

jonah was over the moon. they almost gave up the interrogation right then and there, but they had just one question left.

"okay… and what gas station did we stop at right before we got to the house? and what did we both get?"

"it was a… bp, i think? you shoplifted a dr.pepper after using their restroom. i didn't get anything."

jonah breathes a sigh of relief. this was adam. the real adam. they aren't sure why he seems so adamant about denying it, but they can work with this.

"yeah! yeah, see? you're definitely adam. you're not an alternate dude. i don't know why you're saying that, but you're not."

"they showed me. there was a tv in the basement," adam counters, his voice cold.

"and who's 'they'?" jonah asks, his theory nearly proven correct.

"the alternates. they-"

jonah cuts him off before he can finish, "yeah, see? alternates. you've been speaking to alternates. you probably have that MAD thing or whatever. you- they're messing with your head. don't listen to them. you're fine, you just need to get out of there, okay?"

"no," adam retorts, "you-you don't get it. my- my body is… it's wrong, jonah. i'm not… human anymore. i never was. i…" adam's voice trails off, not bothering to finish his argument. his voice sounds… anguished. like he's on the verge of tears. it's unexpected, and jonah isn't quite sure what to make of it.

jonah mulls over the new information, adam's words have thrown him for a loop. his body was... "wrong?" they had never heard of that before. then again, he's pretty sure MAD could induce hallucinations. he could have sworn he saw… something just before crashing the car, and he still hears whispers in his head, scratching at his thoughts like a cat at a door. maybe this was just another symptom of MAD? if it was, then adam needs to get out of that house, now.

jonah clears his throat, and speaks carefully, "listen, that- that's probably another symptoms of MAD, alright? just- just ignore it. it's not real, it's just in your head. focus on getting out of the house, don't think about anything except for getting out. i'm heading over, it won't take me long that long to get there. just… hang in there, okay? you got this. we'll find another car to hotwire, and get the fuck out, yeah?" adam sniffs on the other end, and holy shit, is he crying?

"…okay," adam's voice is hoarse, and jonah feels like shit for leaving him behind in the first place.

"good. now just… keeping talking, alright? talk to me as you get out, and don't stop talking. stay with me," jonah says as he pushes himself off of the car. he looks down the road and sighs. he has a long way to go.

#sorry about the formatting and complete lack of capitalization also but im not fixing that lmao #the mandela catalogue #jonah marshall #adam murray #catalyst but worse au #this was fun. this au has me in a chokehold i am already thinking about what happens after this #foster's writing tag #<-new tag ig?????lol #tmc septendecim au

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trashcanwithsprinkles · 4 months

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Archon war anon

I'm fairly certain that canon implies that Xiao didn't have too many masters, but I'm just having fun with it. I haven't hot potatoed him too much in what I have written, but I'm planning to pass him off for a bit to a bunch of Sumeru tribes who don't actually know what to do with an adeptus, and so just keep trading him off for benefits based on the idea that he's definitely got value, but they don't know what to do with him. I'm also doing this so that Morax later names him after himself? Like, "Xiao" is pretty Chinese sounding, and it would be weird for another land to have used it as a name. That in itself means nothing, bu I was like, "A perfect opportunity to make things weird!"

I did go check Cuijue architecture before I wrote the last ask and was all suspicious about it since I noticed that circle out front had that same square pattern as Guili stuff, but the pillars were very distracting!

We actually do know of gods to do with dreams - the Sumer Companion gods! But, they're obviously not in Liyue, and also not in Chenyu. The most I could find for the god of Chenyu Vale was the line "she made many dreams come true" in An Ancient Sacrifice of Sacred Brocade. Fujin and the others betrayed their god because they wanted to keep the humans safe, and the god was going to flood Chenyu Vale as a last ditch attempt to fight Morax.

The Dunyu-star connection comes from the Records of Jueyun book. The book also says "the redoubts of the Dunyu Valley stood tall and maintained prosperous relations with Liyue Harbor up till 500 years ago"

Very fair about thinking that the stone ruins all have to be old, but at the same time, given what I know about how ruins tend to work, they seem way too intact to be as old as all that? Like, people would have take all of that nice, preworked stone, because that's what people do. Like sure, some of them are kind of far, but then any quarries are also probably pretty far. Especially since Guili looks so much more ruined?

Tianqiu does look pretty temple-like, but also they kind of remind me of this documentary I saw talking about shitty Roman apartments? Like windowless and damp and all that because you spent basically all your time away. And even if it was a temple, temples need like staff to take care of them and priests? It looks big enough that it would probably need a proportionately big staff. I don't know, I'm not actually invested in this theory, it's just kind of fun to think about/argue.

As for when Guizhong died, yeah no confirmation on exactly when, but still at least 1700 years before the war ended.

What I could find on the move to the harbour was mostly referring back to one of the books - Stone Tablet Compilations - which was pretty vague, saying the war killed Guizhong, and "thereupon" Morax took their people to the harbor. And then the event that talked about the flood doesn't mention Guizhong dying, but in it Madame Ping does seem fairly specific about the actual move only taking a dozen days? Like, longer than you'd expect for that short distance, but not a "have to re-gather everyone" type situation (but honestly re-gathering would be really interesting to explore? and I want to see where you got that impression from) The teaser Echoes of the Heart mentions Guizhong's death and implies it was early in the war, but not how it happened or what was going on with their people after. And that's all I could find referring to her death specifically, so yeah, we know nothing. :(

I'm glad it wasn't too much!

no worries, it wasn't too much!

yeah i'm also fairly certain xiao only had one master before morax, but the concept is really interesting (and kinda funny). the idea of him winding up in sumeru and the gods there being like: "you want this magic kid?" "what does he do?" "idk but he's magic so he must be valuable" "you're right, i'll take him" .... "you want this magic kid?" fucking hilarious ngl

my only point of contention (that sounds ultra serious what) with the roman appartment point is that this is liyue? so i'm not sure they'd have a random ruin with no explanation be something that we wouldn't expect from a completely different culture? i guess it could always just be an adaptation though. but yeah, if it was a temple, there'd deffinitely be people living there. if not there, then in the surroundings – i'm just not sure if that would qualify as an entire town, more than just a temple complex. anyway, i've not no smoking gun on tianqiu valley either, we just know so little, but it is fun to throw things at the wall hahah

i have to be honest in that i completely forgot about madame ping's dialogue in moonlight merriment. like i had done the research on this mess for cyanide before that event came out? and since i wasn't even going to get to the founding of liyue harbor in the fic, i didn't bother changing my notes. but yeah, if madame ping says it took more than ten days (original chinese text), then yeah they probably migrated as soon as the flood took over. thankfully the cinematic specifies it was the guili assembly – knowing mihoyo they could've just left it as 'a flood destroyed their home' and never clarified LMAO like even then obviously it would've been the assembly, but still. unless i'm just missing stuff from the original chinese text, it doesn't, however, specify that it took them over ten days to get to the harbor. like it says the adepti stayed with them for ten days, but not how long their journey actually was? it was probably ten days, the harbor isn't all that far from the assembly and it'd be weird for the adepti to just... leave them halfway through the journey, but still. this is what i mean by the lack of clarification being a pain in the ass ToT

the scattering and gathering part actually comes from the guili plains' viewpont. it says "those who gathered here were once again scattered" in reference to the war destroying it. 'scattered' doesn't sound to me like a term you'd use for "there was a flood and so they fled together in a group with the adepti". it sounds more like "everyone fled to different places during the chaos, and then either morax gathered all of them back together to then migrate as a group immediately after it happened (like as soon as the flood settled morax was like "ok where's everyone"), or he took longer to gather them (like longer than ten days)". there's also the issue of the geo travel diaries? which like- i know morax being the god of the stove was disproven, but i'm not sure if that disproves the entire legend? which implies that people had to re-learn how to fucking cook when they first settled in the harbor. that might just be weird wording though, and since it's a word-of-mouth legend, also exaggeration.

the worst offender here i think is zhongli's dialogue during his first story quest. we know he's a little shit sometimes, but he's not known to outright lie when it comes to debating the history of liyue – he even goes out of his way to debate things that have become twisted by time if he finds himself in the conversation (because for some reason he also sometimes just lets the misconceptions be? which- i mean sure, he probably realizes it's an impossible task to try and fix every single erroneous tale in liyue). but when the scholars he's arguing with ask him if it's true that the lord of geo taught the people how to build houses when liyue harbor was being constructed (and how the model he used was made from mora), zhongli just says that yeah that's true. like ????? this either implies that the people didn't know how to build houses by the time they got to the harbor? as though they had been separated for so long that they had to re-learn it (which would make no sense if less than two weeks ago they'd been living in this advanced civilization that they'd built)?? like entire generations had passed??? or like- this could also be that zhongli taught them a new style of houses, going by the fact the architecture is not like the one in the assembly. given we now have madame ping saying it was more than ten days between the fall and the harbor, my only guess is that morax went 'hey i think we should try a new building style, how about this?' and made a harbor house as we know them entirely out of mora, and the people went 'ooo teach us how'. i guess there's always the possibility that, since the way it's worded in the dialogue (i don't have the originla chinese for this i'm afraid), that zhongli is saying that the fact the model house was made of mora is true, and not that he had to teach everyone how to make houses from scratch all over again. it could be that?? it's still weird.

it could always also be a case of all these things are from very early in the game, and since madame ping in moonlight merriment is the latest data we have, hers is probably more accurate? like they hadn't yet quite decided how long it was before the fall and the harbor, and that's why all the sources say different things.

still weird, though.

#anyway #thank you;;;;;;;;#ily <3 <3 <3

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secretobsessionstuff · 2 years

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yo idk if you already got one of these fics but like, ik that whenever i do sumn stressful as hell, i usually get sick from it. but not DURING that said situation, but after that when im able to finally just sit and chill. so like, sumn like that would be really cool with one of your oc's. and honestly, throw the curse on whoever you feel it'll fit best. just thought i'd throw my idea out there yk?

Hey, man! Thanks for the great request! I'm so mean to my boys in this. Sorry it took a while for me to answer it. Hope you're doing good :)

Content Warning: This fic contains a very vague flashback to the actual stressful part. To give a proper warning, Mateo is an ambulance paramedic (edited from dispatcher because that was a mistake) so the stressful situation is a bad call in which a minor is injured. I do not actually write out the emergency, but Mateo does remember details such as blood and parental grieving. There is NO explicit death.

More CW: Vague descriptions of a major bodily injury, mention of blood and other bodily structures injured in an accident. Graphic descriptions of vomiting! Emotional turmoil that leads to vomiting for Mateo, and fear of blood that leads to vomiting for Shawn.

-----------------

Blood pulsed in Mateo’s head. The waves beat against his ear drums, threatening to pierce that delicate membrane. A small part of him wished that would happen so that the red-tinted memories would leak out. A rush of vertigo forced him to reach a shaky hand towards Shawn. Luckily Shawn was solid and sturdy. Much sturdier than him.

The ambulance bay was deserted, save for Mateo, Shawn, and the paramedic supervisor. Mateo knew that his mentor was around as well, probably waiting for his own support person to arrive; they weren’t allowed to leave on their own, not with shock clouding their eyes and judgment.

Mateo bunched up the fabric of Shawn’s shirt in his grasp. His support person. The two of them stood in front of Mateo’s supervisor, listening to the proper protocols following a traumatic call. Mateo was instructed to take two mandatory sick days to recover from the stress. Then he had to be present for the debriefing. It was like a meeting to ensure everyone’s emotional wellbeing which lessened the effects of PTSD. That was the hope anyway.

Mateo was not listening. He was drowning in stimulation. Voices. Sirens. Echoes of screams, all bouncing around in his skull like a ball in a pinball machine. He knew that the memories of this call would stick to the part of his brain that fabricated nightmares. But there would be no fabrication necessary. All he had to do was reach into the past—not but an hour ago—to fuel the bad dreams.

The mother’s wails. The father’s incessant string of curses and self-deprecation. The boy’s…his…his legs. The ropes of mangled tissue and bones. All of it came back when he closed his eyes. By the time he and Joel had gotten to the address, the roar of the lawn mower had died, but the son was quickly being pulled to that quiet place as well.

“Mateo.”

Joel kept calling his name, telling him to fetch this, put pressure here.

“Mateo”

It all happened so fast. The boy’s blood soaked the end of his sleeves. The red spread up his arms like flames eating through a newspaper.

“Mateo?”

The father had been punching himself in the head and pacing while they worked on boy. The mother tore up her vocal cords. Mateo had never understood the term “blood curdling” before, but he learned the meaning when his own blood cells seemed to clump together in his chest. The ache he felt was like pushing a clot through his aorta.

“Mateo!”

“Yes? What?” Mateo’s eyes shot up to meet his supervisor’s gaze.

“Did you hear what I said?” Obviously, he had not. “We’ll be getting you a new uniform, so don’t worry about washing the blood out.” The supervisor looked Mateo up and down. “I see you’ve changed already. Where is your uniform?”

Mateo answered only after Shawn gave him a nudge. The nudge was enough to cause Mateo to sway on his feet. “Joel has it…my—my partner…he said he’d clean it for me.”

The supervisor nodded. “I’ll be talking to Joel next. You’re free to leave, Mateo. Take care of yourself.”

Mateo’s ears continue to ring as Shawn helped him to the car. Rain pelted the windshield, making it hard to hear what Shawn was saying. Where was this rain an hour ago? Surely nobody would have mowed their lawn if it had been raining this hard. Surely a little boy would not have been outside if the skies were this gray. But an hour ago, the sky had been blue and clear.

“…is that alright, babe?” Shawn said, turning onto the busy street. When he got no answer, he lightly touched his boyfriend’s arm. “Hey, Teo?”

“What?”

Shawn’s shoulders dropped as he watched Mateo’s face remain emotionless even when he spoke. The boy was numb. He was somewhere else. “I said I’ll help you shower when we get home. Does that sound like a good plan?”

“Uh-huh.”

Mateo looked down at his lap with dead-drooping eyelids. The windshield wipers were making him dizzy, so he dared not look up again. Still, he could see them swishing back and forth in his peripheral vision. Back and forth and back and forth. Swish, swoosh, swish, swoosh. Like the blood in his ears.

Like his blood, the food in his stomach was curdled as well. Lumpy and soggy with acid. The adrenaline had kept him from losing his lunch at the scene, but now there was nothing to keep his mind distracted from the sick feeling in his gut.

His heart was pounding as if its beat alone could play music on his fragile ear drums. All this pulsing and throbbing was shaking up his insides. He imagined his belly frothing, bubbling higher and higher until it reached his esophagus. He closed his eyes in attempt to make the world stop. Just stop. Stop moving. Stop shaking. Stop screaming.

Mateo’s battle with the world was internal. From Shawn’s perspective it appeared as if Mateo were sleeping—albeit restlessly. Only the sound of thunder kept Shawn company during the drive home. If he closed his eyes he could have convinced himself that he was alone.

Shawn wished he could understand what was going through Mateo’s mind. Not that he could ever handle the details. Some nights Mateo came home with a story from the road. They were the calls that weren’t disturbing enough to upset Mateo, but they were certainly disturbing enough for Shawn. Usually, Mateo got half-way through the story before Shawn told him to stop.

Mateo didn’t share these moments anymore. He technically wasn’t supposed to in the first place, but everybody needs an outlet sometimes. Mateo’s outlet just couldn’t be his boyfriend, and that was fine.

Most of the time.

“Alright, hon,” Shawn sighed as he stopped the car. “We’re home.”

Mateo didn’t move. He kept his head down. Shawn could see that his eyes were open just a sliver. The colour of his face matched the storm clouds.

“Mateo?” Shawn touched his arm again, hoping for a response. He watched Mateo’s Adam’s apple bob in his throat. “Honey, are you okay?”

A small drop of saliva dripped from his lips as Mateo shook his head to say no. Then all at once, he vomited up his lunch onto his thighs. There was hardly any sound or movement from the boy. Just a small gurgle in his throat before a sludge of sick coated his pants. Mateo’s shoulders didn’t even move when he retched.

“Oh my God!” Shawn exclaimed, startled by the amount of vomit that came out of Mateo’s mouth. He quickly shrugged off his surprise and rubbed his boyfriend’s back. “Aw, Teo. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

Mateo whimpered and gagged emptily over the layer of sick that soaked his pants. He awkwardly held his hands by his chest to keep them clean. Vomit dripped down his thighs, onto the seat and the floor.

He gagged again, and tears leaked onto his cheeks. That’s when he started to cry for real. It was everywhere. On his shoes, on his knees, on his sleeves. It was sticky and thick.

Except he wasn’t wearing a shirt with sleeves just then.

Still, it was on his sleeves, spreading through the cotton fibers like a wildfire. It was on his knees from where he knelt on the grass with that little boy. It was red and everywhere. The woman was screaming. The man was screaming. He was screaming, but nobody could hear it unless they looked inside his mind.

Mateo was breathing heavily in the now quiet car. He stopped vomiting, but his back was shaking. Shawn still had his hand between Mateo’s shoulder blades and could feel heat coming through his clothes as if he had a fever. But this was not caused by a fever or a bug. The heat was from that wildfire that burned through his thoughts.

“You’re okay,” Shawn said. “Just let it all out. Cry, do whatever you need. I’ll help you get inside in a moment.”

Mateo clutched his chest and cried. Tears and spit dripped onto his lap. Outside, the rain still hammered on the windshield, almost muffling the choked sobs that escaped from his mouth.

“I know. I know,” Shawn said, his voice shaking with emotion. “It’s scary. You feel like you have no control. But it will pass.”

“I can’t…” Mateo tried to talk around the lump in his throat. “I can’t stop seeing it, Shawn. There was so much blood.”

Shawn swallowed thickly. This was the type of story that neither of them could stomach. He wanted to listen so bad. He wanted to let Mateo get it all out. The story. The tears. The sick. All of the bad gunk that clotted in his systems. But his own body and mind could not carry the load without snapping.

Shawn let out a long exhale through his nose. You got this, he told himself. Mateo needs a shower. You can help with that. First, get him out of the car. He waited until Mateo’s breathing slowed down, which it finally did at the same time that the rain stopped.

“Okay,” Shawn mumbled before opening the driver side door. He ran around to the passenger side and opened Mateo’s door. A small bit of puke dripped out. He cupped Mateo’s damp cheek. “Let’s get you inside.”

They went straight to the bathroom. More specifically, straight to the bathroom floor. Shawn waited to see if Mateo was going to throw up again before doing anything

He didn’t; he just stared at the floor in a trance.

So, Shawn started to undress him. The boy was a dead-weight, completely uninterested in keeping his head up. But that was fine. Shawn could work with this. He started by taking Mateo’s shirt off. He took one of Mateo’s hands to get his arm out of the sleeve—

And immediately dropped his boyfriend’s hand.

There was dried blood all along Mateo’s nails. The lines and creases on his palms were also traced in red. Every bend in his fingers hid the same secret. Clearly, scrubbing his hands after the call had not been enough. The blood was as resilient as the bad memories.

Shawn looked away and covered his mouth, gagging into his hand.

“What is it?” Mateo slurred, almost drunkenly. He curled in fingers towards himself, seeing the circles of blood around his nails. “…Oh.” His gaze travelled slowly back to his boyfriend. “You okay?”

“I need a second.” Shawn mumbled into his hand.

“It’s not mine.”

“I know.” Shawn said without opening his mouth more than necessary.

“It’s the kid’s.”

“Please stop.”

Mateo got a faraway look in his eyes. He seemed to look past Shawn. “It’s the kid’s,” he repeated. His bloody hand started to shake again. In his mind, there was nobody else with him in that moment—certainly not somebody who might be opposed to hearing about the scene. “It just kept coming. The blood. I used so many cloths, but it kept soaking through.”

Shawn’s stomach rose in his throat. He retched into his hand and stood up on wobbly legs. The sick poured from his mouth as he lunged for the bathroom sink.

His throat burned from the vomit that was now staining the white porcelain. He turned on the tap to wash away the mess. His knuckles went white as he held onto the edge of the counter. That grip got even tighter when his stomach lurched a second time.

“Shawn?” Mateo looked at his boyfriend with huge eyes. Fear filled those eyes. It was fear for the things he had seen and fear for his boyfriend.

“I’m sorry,” Shawn choked out. He gagged over the sink again. “Ugh I’m sorry, I can’t. I want to help you, but…”

“Don’t leave,” Mateo pleaded with fresh tears in his eyes. “I don’t want to be alone.”

Shawn was crying too. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to help you.”

Though they were together, they were alone. Alone in their suffering that the other couldn’t understand. Shawn felt like they were falling at different speeds. He was dizzy and disoriented, unable to offer the kind of help that Mateo needed.

Then a thought popped into his head. He looked up slowly, glancing at his reflection in the mirror. His skin was ashen like Mateo’s. The Shawn that stared back was fuzzy around the edges. Yeah, he wasn’t going to do much good like this. But maybe there was someone else who could help.

…

A knock came at the door not but ten minutes later. Shawn had been pacing the hallway in front of the bathroom when the knocking came. He sighed gratefully and shook out his hands to get the nervous energy out. He wiped the sweat off his palm on his pants, before opening the door.

Madix stood on the other side. Behind Madix was Dakota. They both wore identical looks of concern. Shawn had not been expecting Dakota, but he was more than happy to let his friends in.

“Hey, man,” Madix said, clapping Shawn on the shoulder as he entered the apartment. “I was with Dakota when you called. I hope you don’t mind that he came too.”

“Uh…um yeah that’s—that’s fine.”

Madix just nodded patiently as Shawn stuttered, taking in his friend’s appearance. “Alright, first things first, you need to sit down before you pass out.” He guided Shawn over to the couch. “There. Can I get you anything? Water? A blanket?”

“Uh, no, no. Mateo—he’s in the bathroom. I couldn’t go back in. Go see him. Not me. Please.”

“Okay, easy,” Madix said, hearing the growing panic in Shawn’s voice. He looked back at Dakota. “Kota, you stay with Shawn. I’ll check on Mateo.”

“Thank you,” Shawn mumbled and put his head in his hands. He felt the couch cushions spring back up when Madix left.

For a moment, he let the darkness of his hands envelop him. Then he felt a new weight join him on the couch. He opened his eyes to see Dakota’s sympathy written across his face. Something about the soft crease in his brow made Shawn want to break down. “I tried to help him. I was getting him in the shower, but...but—God, I’m so glad you’re both here.”

“He’s going to be okay,” Dakota said softly.

“I know. Madix will understand. He’ll help Teo more than I ever could.”

“You did your best. Be proud of that," Dakota assured him. “Now, how are you holding up?”

“Bad?” Shawn looked up and blinked away fresh tears. “When I left Mateo, he was so out of it. Just staring at his hands. He was—”

“—Shawn,” Dakota cut in, placing his hand on his friend’s knee. “Slow down. I asked about you.”

Shawn sniffled and let out a manic laugh. “What?”

“You.”

“Me?”

Dakota nodded. “Yeah. This isn’t easy on you either.” He spoke slowly. “I insisted on coming for reason. You both need someone right now. So, tell me what I can do. We can talk about it if you want. Or we can talk about literally anything else if you need a distraction. I also I give the best hugs by the way."

In the end, Shawn wanted to be distracted. He had to get his mind off his boyfriend. Off the blood on his hands. Off the noise in his head. Off, off, off. Because turning off was the only way he’d get calm.

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lightparty-fullparty · 1 year

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BACK ON THE WIKI AGAIN because where else am I supposed to be when trying to write a fic - this time on Yotsuyu’s page because I wanted to try and work out like, her personal event timeline.

So her age on the wiki is 32, I am assuming this means she is 32 by the time you are going through Stormblood, and so she was 7 when Doma was conquered by Garlemald. Since it’s been 25 years since then by the time the Scions get around to visiting.

Now I don’t think it’s mention at all when her parents died, or how. Just that they did, and she had to go and live with her shitty Aunt and Uncle and Cousin. Given that Yostuyu doesn’t seem to have memeories of her parents - I am using the fact that during the Tsukiyomi trial, Gosetsu is the only person who appears during the memory sequence that is a positive memory for her, so assumedly that means Yotsuyu doesn’t remember her original parents. Otherwise they would have a larger impact on her (imo at least) - So this would make me think they died when she was very young, and Yotsuyu has basically been living with her Aunt since she can remember.

Now, my next question is how old is she supposed to be in Echo vision you get during the lead up to Doma Castle, the one from the Garlean Soilder with young Yostuyu in it. She can’t still be 7, because it’s implied that Garlemald has a very establish position as the new rulers of Doma at this point. A census has been taken recording the members of every family in Doma, as a point is made that Yotsuyu wasn’t included on the original records by her Aunt (on purpose).

I don’t know about you but I doubt even Garlemald would have been able to organise that and establish themselves so quickly. So I reckon it’s another several years down the line.

Asahi is 27 according to the wiki - so following similar thoughts he would have been 25 when Doma fell and he is DEFINETLY not 2 years old in that flashback. Since he’s beeing approached about going to Garlemald and recieveing an imperial education, I’m going to estimate he’s possibly 8-10 years old, making Yostuyu 13-15. I’m leaning towards the lower end of that scale given that Edda is supposed to be 16 and using an adult Hyur model, so 15 doesn’t seem quite right given Yostuyu is using the child model.

Given as well that she says Asahi was the one to suggest marrying her off to a rich nobelman, it would have had to have been done before he left for Garlemald. So given that lowball estimate for her age, she was 13 when it happened. (6 years after Doma fell - and well before the Rebellion so it was still ‘ruled’ by Lord Kaien.)

Again there’s no mention of hold long she was in her shitty marriage before her husband died, but I’ll wager several years and assume she was maybe 16/17 when it happened. At which point she was sold off again to the brothels.

The rest is documented decently enough by the game that I don’t feel a great need to decipher the mystery of it all. But for my purposes the TLDR is;

Yostuyu’s parents died when she was very young. Young enough for her to have zero memories of them. Good or Bad.

She lived with her Aunt and saw Doma fall at age 7. At age 13/14 she was sold off to Sashihai (the shitty nobel).

At age 16/17 Sashihai died and Yostuyu was sold again to the brothels. where she worked her way into a position of influence and was approached by Garlemald to become an imperial spy.

And I still don’t understand why the wiki says her eyes are yellow when to me they’re pretty clearly a pale blue-grey?

This just does not read as yellow to me I’m sorry. Flashback is also super blue to me idk what to tell you here.

#ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #yotsuyu goe brutus #THOSE EYES ARE BLUE DAMMIT!#BLUE I SAY!#ghostly rambles

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ttulipwritezz · 5 months

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This Is Our Place.~ S.Black

Ootp! Sirius Black x gn! Reader

Synopsis: After azkaban, Sirius falls for his best friend's colleague, who just so happens to return his feelings. They find their place within the confines of a war. Perhaps they'll leave the Christmas lights up till January.

Wc: 2k

Warnings: lots of italics, probably grammatical mistakes, inconsistency, mentions of presents, Christmas, bad family (s.b), kiss(es), might be ooc idk.

The clouds began to form in delicate shapes, and the roar of thunder echoed through the gloomy room. The light from a candle illuminated the kitchen, in which you sat, your mind preoccupied with the thought of the incoming rain.

Preoccupied with the thought of having to take the clothes off the drying rack anytime soon or bringing all your potted plants indoors to avoid them drowning.

It was not an odd thing—rain—being that it was the end of August.

"Knock, knock."

You looked up from where a blank piece of parchment lay in front of you, curious to know the source of the words.

"You could just, you know, knock? Like a normal person, Sirius."

You found yourself speaking before you could collect your thoughts. The said man glanced at the parchment once and looked back at your face, his lips curving up the tiniest bit at your attempt to lighten the mood.

"Who am I, if normal, love?" He chuckles with a crooked smile.

You let your eyes roam around his face, his hollowed-out cheeks, and his half-lidded eyes. He looks tired. You conclude.

"Do you want some tea? I was just about to make some.."

You weren't really, about to make tea, that is. Still, you found yourself speaking, wanting to comfort the man, even if just a little.

Sirius was, by no means, your friend. He was just a friend of your colleague, Remus. You'd joined Hogwarts the same year Remus did; being new, the two of you hit it off immediately.

It always amazed you how well of a grasp Remus had on DADA. And he returned the favor by complimenting your herbology. You were a couple years younger than Remus, at best, and had known of him and the infamous marauders during your time at Hogwarts. Sirius Black did intrigue you the most.

You knew he came from a wealthy family, a bad one—of course, by no means did you want to intrude on his family life, but the heart does what the heart wants—and that he found solace in the friends he called brothers.

When Remus introduced you to his falsely convicted friend, Sirius Black, You damn near fainted on the spot, not because of his (undeniable) handsomeness but because of the sheer fear of standing in front of a possible murderer.

Now, years later (two to be exact), you find yourself enamored by the faded gray of his eyes and the curved bridge of his nose, which, you reckon, has been broken at least once during his time at Hogwarts, noting the sudden halt in the curve that then sharply turns to the other side and resumes its path.

Maybe it is a little peculiar to be noting such details of his appearance that you can paint a picture of his past. Strange, they'd call it. But it's routine for you. A routine you find comfort in.

"Thank you, Love," he replies.

A mumbled "'course" leaves your lips as you put the kettle to boil on the stove.

Sure, you could use magic, but these mundane tasks that don't require it seem to bring a sort of normalcy to your life. Even if just for a moment, it stops feeling like you're in the midst of a war and that people aren't dying left and right.

You were only nineteen when the first wizarding war came to an end, when your friends lost their lives, and when the dark lord seemingly disappeared forever.

He hadn't; that much was evident from the current situation.

The tea was set in front of Sirius almost unknowingly. You had been a little into your head and had been going about the task with practiced ease.

"Thanks again, Love. When do you reckon the others will return?"

Remus, along with the other order members, had gone on yet another mission. They left Sirius, concluding he was too weak to fight right now, and you, as you'd offered to stay back.

"Any time now, and really, it's no problem,"

you replied, sort of bashful at both his gratitude and the endearment.

As if on cue, the door opened with a jingle of the keys, and numerous voices rang through the empty corridors of Grimmauld Place.

Remus stalked into the kitchen and put his left hand up, leaning against the doorway with his right for some sort of support, revealing a gash running from his middle finger to his wrist and a sheepish smile on his face as he looked at you. Immediately, wordlessly, you walked forward with your wand and began healing the wound.

Removing a tin of herbal paste from the drawer beside and handing it to Remus.

"How'd that happen? I thought this was a 'harmless' mission," you asked, quoting his reassuring words from earlier.

"I nicked myself on a broken shelf." As confident as he sounded, his lie didn't escape you.

All it needed was a 'really?' look on your face to get the truth out.

"Death eaters," he stated, defeated.

"You really ought to be more careful, Rem. It worries me."

You said that and guided him out of the kitchen to assess his other wounds, which included one on his arm and a twisted ankle.

Unaware that a certain raven head was watching you from the table, envious and defeated at failing at his attempts to talk to you. The rain began pouring down, and the clothes and plants still outside ran through your mind.

The rain mirrored the heart of the black, sitting at the table, gloomy as ever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You'd last seen Sirius when Harry and the kids stumbled through the door of Grimmauld Place, bringing an unconscious, but thankfully alive, Sirius with them.

Harry had told you that he was leaving to retrieve his godfather from the ministry, mentioning something about a dream, but you weren't paying much attention after you'd heard the news. With Dumbledore's permission and assistance, you'd returned to Grimmauld's place to help in case they ever needed it. Praying that Sirius made it back alive.

The kids, along with Remus and a few other order members, laid the unconscious Sirius on the couch and went to clean themselves up as you offered to take care of Sirius in the meantime.

Once conscious, you dragged Sirius to the bathroom on the ground floor of the house, squeezing through the thin hallways and sitting him on the counter as you retrieved a first-aid kit from the cupboard.

"Couldn't you use magic to fix my wounds?" came his distraught voice, cutting your thoughts short.

"Do you want me to inflict pain on them? Just sit still. Besides, it's not like I'm a healer."

As you cleaned each wound with precision, one thought roamed your head.

It's not like they don't have wands—the death eaters, that is—they injured him in a way that seems almost muggle.

"If you're wondering how, it was Bellatrix," Sirius said, trying to suppress a hiss at the particularly deep wound on his arm, as if reading your mind.

"Your cousin?" you answered, or rather, asked, continuing and moving onto the smaller cuts that littered his face.

Humming, he let you get the rest of the wound cleaned.

You glanced up at his face when opening the packet of cotton, only then realizing how close you had been. His breath was fanning your nose as he stared deep into your eyes, no trace of guilt or shame in them, as if he trusted you wholeheartedly.

You could have sworn you saw him glance at your lips in anticipation. The thought alone swarmed your stomach with butterflies.

Only now had you realized how intimate your shared moments were and how he had always tried to enlighten your mood with his jokes. You thought it was his defense, his coping mechanism.

Though now it seemed amidst the war, all he tried to do was hear you laugh. By pausing your movements as if in a trance, you maintained eye contact with him. He looked so stern and so soft all at once.

In his mind swam thoughts of the previous night, when you cradled Remus's hand with such grace and concern.

His lips parted, and you wanted to kiss him. You don't know why, but you did. All you had to do was move your face half an inch forward, and his lips would crash into yours. You wanted to do it so badly.

And so you did.

His eyes fluttered close, and the arm that wasn't injured came up to grip your neck, light as a feather.

His hands caressed the tiny hairs on your neck and sent a tingle down your spine. The kiss was phenomenal.

You didn't sleep that night; the thoughts were fluttering in your mind even hours later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I kissed him."

As soon as those words left your mouth, Remus choked on his tea and had to take a moment to steady himself.

"You kissed whom exactly!?" came his exasperated voice.

"Sirius," you said sheepishly, suddenly feeling small under his wide gaze.

"I didn't even know you liked him," Lupin said as he went to dry his clothes from the tea.

"It just…sort of happened..you know-"

"no, I don't know y/n..what were you thinking!?" Remus was confused, and a part of him felt betrayed.

You liked his best friend, but he had no clue.

The patter of the rain outside added to the deafening silence that you left. The sound brought you back to the first night in the house, the night when you shared tea with Sirius.

Your eyes flitted to the scar running along the Lycanthropes hand, and you grimaced at the angry red surrounding it as it healed.

"Did you put the balm on it today? your hand, I mean " Your words cut through the silence like a knife, and you moved your hand toward one of the many drawers housing your herbal balms.

"You're deflecting, love... If it's any help, Sirius would much rather pretend nothing happened than act on his own; you're best off confronting him first."

Remus's words were assuring, but the tone in which he said them made you scrunch up your brows and tilt your lip downward.

"Umm, I'll see what I can do." Your hesitance was evident in your voice.

You walked back to your room after handing Remus the green and silver tin, silently reminding him of his wound.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the other side of the house, Sirius lay in bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking about the kiss.

His mind wandered to the feeling of your lips, his hands on on nape, and your gaze before it all.

Your lips. My lips.

"A Rubber Duck!" A shout came from the room beside him. Harry's room. They were playing a round of charades, he remembered.

Harry! Yes!

He should ask Harry. So he made his way towards their room.

"Harry, could I talk to you for a moment?" Just as Harry was getting up and ready to join his godfather,

"actually hold that-"

He turns to Hermione

"-Hermione!! You're a muggle. You'd know! of course" The hopeful tone of his voice sends Ron into a laughing fit, and Harry's mouth twitches into a grin as Hermione sits confused with a frown.

After discussing the matter with the kids, Sirius decides he's done with his stupid old ways. He wants to say something; make the first move.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It happened on christmas eve.

Everyone had taken to opening presents under the large tree at the living room.

After watching Ron fawn over his new wizard chess set, you decided it was time for a much needed break.

"I think i'm going to go make some hot chocolate...anyone want some?" You asked, already getting up to yout feet.

Most of them nodded no and you only just realised all their mugs were rather full.

Making your way into the rather small kitchen of grimmauld place, you got out your wand to help make your hot chocolate.

"Knock knock" a familiar raspy voice came from the doorway.

An odd sense of deja vu enveloped you and you turned around to look at the source.

"you could just knock. Like a normal person" you repeated your words from the previous day.

The relationship between you and sirius had strained quite a bit after that shared kiss.

"sorry love, how's your day going so far?" He asked, seemingly trying to dissipate the awkwardness from the air.

"Alright...i suppose, what about you?" You replied with just as much hesitation.

"Good." And it stopped at that, the conversation.

Only now did you realise just how close he had gotten. You backed yourself away slightly, only to find your leg hitting the back of the counter.

The world seemed to be silent as the sound of your breaths mingled with one another, accompanied by the ticking clock.

The noises in the living room had become nothing but a blur and muffled by your thoughts.

"I really like you y/n. I truly do" Sirius spoke first, drawing your attention from the planes of his face

"Huh?" Your reply came meek and unsure.

You weren't even sure you'd heard it right.

"i like you." He reiterated.

You did hear it right.

Your knees felt weak but at the same time you were on cloud nine.

Before getting the chance to gather your thoughts you found yourself speaking..

"I really like you too sirius"

your voice came out just louder than a whisper, you're sure he wouldn't even have heard it.

His next words sent a flurry of butterfiles to your stomach.

"May i..?" You noticed him glancing down at your lips and back at your eyes.

You couldn't stop the smile that bloomed on your face as you nodded yes.

The kiss was diferent than the last, less desperate yet more passionate. It was slow, steady and loving.

You could feel his smile against your lips before you pulled apart.

"I've waited so long to do that" his voice came a mere whisper

Your eyes followed the movement of his lips, which were on yours moments ago.

" I...umm got you a gift" he continued, his hesitation surprising you.

Forcing your eyes to look back at the grey irises you managed to let out a breathless

"what?"

Sirius pulled out a box, a small one of velvet, the kind that would normally house a ring, now held a singular locket that was shaped as a star.

"A star...for my star" he said

You couldn't stop the heat from spreading to your cheeks, eyes widening a touch and lips quirking up the slightest.

Two voices giggling could be heard from the kitchen that night.

The whole night.

A/n: I spent WAYY too long on this- and the ending is super rushed lmao i hope you enjoyed it and all reblogs help me reach more ppl! I had sm fun writing this. i'm v proud of this ❤️❤️

#oneshot #sirius black imagine #marauders era fanfiction #harry potter #fanfiction #sirius black x reader #marauders x reader #sirius black fanfic #sirius black x professor reader #marauders fanficion #marauders #sirius black fanfiction #post azkaban sirius #prisoner of azkaban #hp ootp

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astraeus-moon · 1 year

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@melchinafan Sorry for the late ish response I feel kinda sick so it took me a while longer to organize my thoughts. Also here we fucking go apologies for no read more sins I am on mobile

And no I haven't seen those ign articles! More canon info to add to my hordes! And Jacob :( sad baby girl. I'll probably post those (The screenshots of the new info) later for easy access for others

Your point on all 4 of heros being effected makes me wonder if Grave lock girls magic has sort of an area of effect or if the alpha vampires magic is a double edged sword in positively affecting the heros

And ooooo I didn't know there were other blood remnants that came in dif forms makes me wonder if they are somewhat similar to the alpha vamp remnants bc I think i remember it being mentioned somewhere the vial also had psychic residue?? Could not be I'm just losing it but eh. And the psychic residue perhaps being in the blood/body? And that's why it alters you?

And yeah I agree! I think that we don't carry them into the fight just to crack open the door and sort of wave a red flag at a bull sort of way

And then when the alpha vampire dies we get the remnant imbued with a bit of that vamps specific magic

And yeah perhaps using the skulls almost a psychic lockpick if those chosen had been imbued with some of the alphas powers (referring to the trickle down effect you noticed, Vampire mlm is a concept that will be lodged in my brain now)

The biggest one for Bellwether not giving a shit I believe was a piece of dialog that said like "once we get out of here do you think they'll drop a nuke on this place" which made me laugh bc I audibly went just like resident evil grqt2h3 which despite some of the negative reviews comparisons to other games the lack of resident evil with vampires is making me laugh (I mean it in a positive way I'm very attached to RE)

Plus I don't think a privately funded not so small military/mercanary group is gonna lose sleep over a "few" civilian casualties (especially not when you can write em off as vampire deaths when it comes down to it)

Yeah I agree! One of my main grievances was I wish that side quest/mini bosses got more diversity and watchers idk if those are miniboss types as I think they go down p easy (but like I said can't/haven't played the game so I could be wrong) they seem closer to the mutated cultists than "true" vampires

And totally get you on lore one of my other favorite games is destiny 2 and holy shit the amount of environmental storytelling/lore is so strong they have a fan run website to compile it all so I totally get you.

And ooo I'm always looking for new games to watch/obsess over so I'll have to check it out

And yeah unfortunately the people I watched wernt too into grave lock collecting and the only 100 locations video I've found doesn't play em in full

And yeah with Addison I won't spoil it but holy shit he was the worst one too me I wrote out/expanded on the house of Echos mission so I was rewatching and it ended up being 4k words but also it was woof. I almost wish they swapped the order of the map start out in the second way with the other 2 then work into the 1st area for the hollow man

Yeah my sort of interpretation (both in how I'm writing and general fun) is that his Ravens outlines + his guns lock on are from that eye but a fun thing I had was giving them all like the way things are highlighted blue for you to grab some of the psychic residue as most of the psychic energy we see (barring layla) tend to be a pale blue - teal(?) Ish color and it was just funny to me that the highlights for important objects were similar

I agree with vampires probably having night vision as they are supposed to be a sort of apex predator so night vision fits with the whole can't go in the sun. It does make me wonder if Jacob would run into issues in direct sunlight with that eye time to invest in sunglasses my guy

And yeah I hadn't considered the psychic spaces as like stronger spaces where the trance is louder, bc in my thoughts I think the trance is a seperate but adjacent magic thing to what turned them into vampires

It definitely seems like the magic sort of got them all or bolstered abilities in some way and come on we both know that devs def smart enough to crack teleportation lmaooo necessity is the mother of invention and all that. But I do think that magic and science go hand in hand (destiny 2 is so great for that reason aswell because so much of what looks like magic can be kinda turned into science)

I think Remis ult is pure video game but healing it would make sense if it gave out a sort of opposite end of the spectrum vampire healing and helped you regenerate by like tapping into that magic that's settled in you or the vials/remnants

yeah we don't know how the healing actually works as you don't regen health unless you find medpacks which leads me to believe you do have to needle and thread it up instead of magic video game heal as explained in dishonored or prey

And yeah I'm assuming vamp regen at best at worst, you should uhhhh probably got get that looked at bud and yeah blood as fuel is a good idea even if it was connected or disconnected

And yeah the tissues, I'd imagine a wash cloth would be slightly more useful than tissues but eh and yeah sort of a gunk goop dripping thing (ie Eris Morn from destiny with her hive eyes)

And yeah! I think to be a bloodbag/sin eater it also I think is slightly voluntary(?) As the sin eaters are like that. And the blood bags seem pretty eager so maybe the most devoted cultists get turned into em

And yeah I'm uncertain bc I remember for one of the missions Jacob has a line like "but slitting the throat of your neighbor to get in." Or smth like that it's been awhile

And yeah vampire mlm, and yeah definitely maybe the more sacrifices brought in = higher chance of getting turned

I think it's a bit of both as we see with the alphas they were all real shitty people beforehand and yknow being willing to kill others to further your own gain definitely fits under "bloodsucker" (derogatory) in my mind lmao

And I think that's why Jason got away was bc hes not a bad person and was rather selfless hence but still also perhaps shaped by the intent of the person giving you magic (jacobs raven, laylas telekinesis which is something other higher up vampires can do as weve seen with the sea) But also made to shape you're own natural abilities remis healing, devs gadgets :) especially in those latter two cases where they wernt forced really to have the powers

The slow boil is soooo intresting to me bc like where were they? Like in the nests psychic spaces and just coming out to feed plus with the size of the alphas I think that'd kick up a fuss

I think probably a but of both, as drug trials/medical research like aevum was doing was bound to test on mice at least and upon observing the effects may have worked there way up to humans but huge fucking claw marks are probably vampires especially from what we've seen they are extraordinarily wasteful with animals perhaps both as food and ensuring surviving humans can't get it

And birds + animals disappearing evokes a similar feeling of when animals tend to dip before natural disasters because there senses and instincts are so much stronger than ours but also vampires killing them because they couldn't go after people yet

also lmao yeah like idk where tf they were going with that like was the plan to eventually move out of redfall or use it like a home base or smth bc you kill the animals and the people you're gonna have to start eating each other

And yeah I have to imagine at least one cultist was wincing and didn't voice it but was very much like aw come on guys

And yeah! Idk if it's ever explained if vampires exclusively have to eat blood/meat or can eat other things aswell

And oh my God don't get me started on the impacts of introducing a fuck ton of apex predators into your ecosystem and food chain not to mention if other animals mutated and are breeding. Like just removing Wolves from Yellowstone was enough to fuck over the ecosystem I can imagine something on this scale plus the probably intense growth from the decomp rates of bodies.. anyone in an environmental science field would be tearing their hair out (specifically my own redfall oc whose a park ranger is not having a great time with that)

You would have to build ground up essentially as trying a top down approach would fuck up the few remaining secondary and primary consumers (obligatory environmental science rant over)

They all def do the trance def is giving hive mind vibes aswell as a removal of emotional/rational thinking makes me wonder if the blood trance heightens base instincts/hunting drive or aggression like with animals being aggressive and shit being fucked

And oh def, bc each of the bosses has there own space but the nests aswell which makes me wonder if vampires have their own allegiances or a nest is like a pack

And yeah hindsights 20/20 and yeah fears a hell of a motivator and cults pray on scared lonely people with no other options and yeah in too deep

I haven't! Unfortunately I haven't watched a dev playthrough and there's not too many multiplaythroughs on YouTube but I'll inform you if I come across any! And as for rough speculation on mothman physique(?) I think leathery makes sense from someone as logical as dev since it glides so it being similar to a bat or moth it almost makes me think of point pleasants.. intresting... statue of the mothman to say the least...

And yeah woof the scientists sure as hell are doing some malpractice although I'd admire arkanes commitment to fuck the rich with them being consistent enemies. And yeah sorry this got Hella long

#txt #wolf barks #redfall meta #redfall #but yeah i fucking love this game its lodged in my brain #can you tell i was a bane upon my english teachers #they either loved or hated me either way i was not shutting the fuck up #tysm talking to me about this tho!!!#im normal about video games

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