Heyyy, sooo... I've been thinking about cyanide narwhal (again) and um... I couldn't get it out of my head and I had an idea for a book cover and so... umm... yeah. here are two that i just... whipped up for no other reason just to get it out of my head. so yeah...

wait these are actually very cool??

It is a very wild story. Time travel, one of the descendants of the arc ending up ascending to celestia, beating them up to prevent the archon war, and then going back to beat celestia again and kill Asmoday. Like. There is this one dude out there running on survival out of sheer spite, and he decided yeah I’m gonna fight god and beat the system in under a week total.

basically yeah

I’m rereading a bunch of your works and like. I gotta say you absolutely nailed Childe in a way that makes it hard for me to read some of the other fics involving him because like. The specific brand of insecurity, the need to be useful, the way honing yourself into a weapon to survive and seeing yourself as a monster affects you like. Ooooooh my god. That’s the best. It’s amazing and I wish it was easier to find more stuff like it

thank you,,,,,,,,

I’m rereading cyanide narwhal and I’m curious (sorry if this has been asked before) like. What do the original timeline gods make of everything when Celestia, Beelzebul and Rex Lapis return?

i don't think it's been asked before, no worries

i think- like in any other scenario i'd tell you rex lapis and raiden sit everyone down and then tell them all that happened? and then it's a sort of... have you seen those tiktoks where they have 'no me diga' as the music and they film themselves telling their friends some absolute horrendous tea and only record the reactions of complete and utter shock but no actual audio? like that. so rex lapis and raiden give them a rundown and everyone else is like ????????????? WHAT???????

but like.

by the time they come back, literally the only god there to do that with is nahida, and she sort of collapses as soon as irminsul reconnects with the abyss. they do tell her and she does have an ?????????? reaction when they do (after she's recovered). as for the others, though, they decide to wait for everyone to reappear at first? and for a long-ass while it's only venti, and he manages to bully the info out of them at some point bc furina/neuvillette and natlan's god are taking forever to show up.

basically it's what i first mentioned but not all at once. first is nahida. then it's venti, and he like- turns to look at naida like are they fr????? and she just gives him a dead tired look like yeah. yeah they fr.

and then the exact same thing happens whenever furina and neuvillette show up. except neuvillette is like WHAT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT'S ALL IT TOOK TO GET RID OF THEM???????????? (furina: do you like... still want to put the others on trial or.. neuvillette: give me like a century to sleep this one off. what the fuck)

and then i'd wager natlan's archon(s?) would also have their own ??????? reaction.

Fox anon because I forgot to add this to the other one- the idea of a duo of con artists using that unknown cryptid status to go around is so funny to me? Like. Yeah sure he’s totally an adeptus/yokai, here to try your things before retreating back to the mountains to do some religious stuff. Yep.

yeah absolutely. nothing weird to see here. nah don't ask guuji about it please she'll ground him. yeah he did an oopsie and now she's mad at him and he can't have sweets. i know right? how could you do that to this face?

hilarious. cartographer adventurer realizes they're becoming a conman halfway through the journey on sheer accident and just by trying to play along and not cause trouble and they have a bit of a crisis about it at some point

foxboy: but you're not actually conning anyone? we're not doing something bad cartographer adventurer: that's not the problem!!!

You pretty much got it, just make them dumbass teenagers who are a bit less likely when it comes to weaponizing confusing cryptid status. Fox boy is just happy to be there and is very excited to get to try new things (especially sweets).

teyvat lucky this boy only goes with the confusion for the shits and giggles and not to exploit people lmao

Ive been thinking about the archon war and wonder... how did it even work? Did each area get asigned a element and whoever won there became that elements archon? Then what would happen if someone like osial, a hydro god won in liyue? Or did everyone individually fight for each element like geo v geo and the nations were assigned later? But then why did osial who again is a hydro god fight morax whos geo? What would happen if say 2 hydro gods won in their own areas? Or if no dendro gods won? The fact that 1 god of each element won is a miracle for celestia.

your guess is as good as mine buddy

it could always just be dumb luck that one of each won? or maybe it was indeed a like- 'all geo gods go fight there' situation. but then osial makes no damn sense in that scenario. like it somewhat does in mondstadt, because all the candidates were like- anemo? ignoring venti, the only candidates that we know of were andrius and decarabian, and both seem to have been anemo-related. but like. was deshret dendro?? was nabu malikata? those three didn't even fight each other. who did the raiden twins fight against? who did egeria?? fuck if i know

you could also go the conspiracy route and say that celestia did want one element per nation and so they boycotted the archon war to ensure one per element won. that would be somewhat interesting actually

but yeah i've no clue, and i find it as odd as you do

Zhongli playing the longest con in fucking history being a dragon sovereign and also an archon. Does he keep his powers? Like. Is that a thing? Does he fight to be victor of geo and end up with keeping it but being under celestias purview? Or is he straight up like. A reincarnation like Neuvillette like hi yes I am a normal mountain dragon adeptus god from Liyue here to fight in the archon war for a gnosis? I love this idea so much

it could be a neuvillette situation but i think the Longest Con only gets funnier the longer it goes on for? so for the sake of the Funny i'd like to think he's the Original sovereign. like- ignoring azhdaha (?). if he's the original guy, then it'd be like- he was among the first ones if not the first one to sort of see where things in the world were headed, and figured he stood a better chance at one day restoring order to this entire fiasco by just- playing along and going with the flow instead of rebelling and fighting a losing fight.

of course, this sort of comes into conflict with the gnoses' creation? bc they were made of the original sovereigns? so like. i guess you can always make the argument that, as a liyue creature, he could do the thing were he discards his mortal body and takes on a spiritual form? so like- he allowed his body to die, and then made up his human-esque form he has now to masquerade as a random god. so celestia would use his now empty dead body to make the gnosis, and it was only a matter of winning the archon war with his new identity and gaining the gnosis, which was essentially just getting his powers back only celestia had a sort of cctv on him at all times. thus truly beginning the Longest Con of pretending he was incapable of breaking celestia's hold over the gnosis and reclaiming his throne as the sovereign at any random point in time and playing along like he was some random god under their control. all the while he would've been like neuvillette pre-focalors' last act in terms of power, where he had the powers of the sovereign, he just lacked the authority (even though the gnosis was right there, but for the sake of the bit, he had to pretend he couldn't just reclaim it at any time)

it's so funny to think about. catch neuvillette being the first (after guizhong) to ever find out about the plan bc he came across zhongli one day (more like zhongli allowed himself to be found by him bc apparently canonically he can just avoid whoever he pleases in liyue) and tried to confront him as an archon and just like- zhongli would've just given him a Look, and neuvillette would've Known, and he would've just been left standing there while zhongli just walked away. neuvillette would've been too perturbed to really tell anyone and would've just like- avoided thinking about the situation until the Final Showdown or whatever.

fucking hilarious AU

Genshin fox boy anon here- same honestly. I like making NPCs. Fox boy has a Cryo vision and is a funky little cryptid guy. Best friends with a visionless kinda clumsy adventurer with an interest in cartography in Mondstadt. What’s been really funny about his ambiguous origins is like. Everywhere he goes you could have an explanation or other assumptions. Inazuma? Kitsune. Liyue? Adepti/descended from one. Sumeru? The funky valuka shuna guys but he’s ghostly pale?? Not green?? And meanwhile boy is just straight up vibing. And then I read your fic and he ended up vibing with it. Schneznayan fox boy.

god that's so funny

visiting sumeru v local: huh- i'd never seen a valuka shuna of that color foxboy: ??? sure visiting inazuma v local: table for two-? oh! good sir, this way, we're always happy to serve the honorable kitsune helpers of the guuji! foxboy: uh- yeah! thank you!

visiting liyue v local: honored adeptus, this way, please! these are the best teas we have in the region! foxboy: well don't mind if i do! cartography adventurer the entire time: god you're so lucky. what the fuck. why doesn't this happen in mondstadt foxboy: you'd think, but apparently they're stupid strict in what constitutes a katzlein cartography adventurer: i hate it here. can we get more wine? local: for the honorable adeptus and his friend? certainly! here's our selection-

Ive just come up with one of if not the most insane au ideas: geo dragon sovereign!zhongli, who STILL THE ARCHON WAR. Like imagine how awkward those archon meeting would be, or how much he would hate being called an archon or his interactions with a very confused nuevillette or apep who dont know if they should hate him (because hes an archon) or like him (because hes the geo dragon sovereign) imagine how many more titles and names he would have!

that's so interesting actually. like he would def not like being called an archon but i'm not sure he'd react to it with any malice? like that's technically another title now. and the other dragons would probably be a bit miffed about the entire ordeal and constantly question him but he would simply refuse to elaborate. man's probably playing the longest game in existence and he truly does not care to explain as he goes along. this au would probably end with zhongli fulfilling his millenia long-plan and like- completely overthrowing celestia and managing to bring a perfect balance to the world for both the new inhabitants and the old. it would be so fucking hilarious. like what do you mean you were trying to do this the entire time? what do you mean this was a process of 10000+ years???? what do you mean it actually worked???????

One of my ocs has been quietly vibing with your star foxes lore for a while, if we’re allowed to yoink lore headcanons I finally have an explanation for why he’s so funky. (Fox boy of ambiguous origin)

you've no idea how happy this ask makes me

hi!!! :D so i love "cyanide narwhal", i've read it twice and i gushed about it to my friends while you were updating it (i swear they were so done with my long ass rants hfkdjdjd) BUT i'm not here to fangirl, i'm here to ask if you would be okay with me translating your fic to spanish? i'm a native spanish speaker and i would love for the hispanic fans to be able to read this fic. here's my AO3 profile if you wanna check out how i translate: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asterr_isk so yeah, have a good day! :DDD

oh! claro, por supuesto que puedes traducirlo! sólo recuerda avisarme cuando comiences a postearlo para que pueda añadir el link a las notas del fic <3

Hihihi

Just wanted to say I finally read cyanide narhwal after first seeing it in 2022 bc I new based on just the first few chapters id go insane batshit insane if I read it before it was complete and I was completely right if anything I underestimated it I am going batshit insane ab it rn its been weeks I cant think of anything else how dare you I love this sm this is the greatest fic I've read in *checks watch* since 2022

i am STEALING certain bits of the lore I'm keeping it and adding it into my mental consciousness for my aus and you cannot stop me ur own fault for writing such masterpiece smh my head

anyways love your works stay festive <333

thank you,,

Just read ITYSG(AINLY) chapter 12 and for some reason i can just imagine zhongli taking one look at ajaxs younger siblings and deciding on the spot that he ould go though the archon war again for these children.

he would

I just finished (re)reading chapter 47 of cyanide narwhal and it just gave me the either the stupidest idea ever: a bunch of zhonglis from all diffrent points in time end up meeting, like you have pre archon war!zhongli, post archon war!zhongli post cataclysm!zhongli, post retirement!zhongli and whatever other versions you could think of all interacting with eachother.

the 'you guys are getting paid??' meme but with them except i can't think of anything funny at the moment to make the meme with

aughh have you ever drawn everyone in their wedding outfits for ITYSG(AINLY)? i just think the way tonia’s is described is so pretty and nice and lovely and it would be so amazing to see everybody in their happy day outfits

regretfully i haven't, no;; i don't trust myself to draw elaborate, pretty clothing, i can't do patterns to save my life hahahah