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tomriddleslove · 2 months

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The Black Lake, a shared blunt, and realisations.

✩Mattheo Riddle x Reader

Summary: The one where Mattheo has had enough. Everyone and everything seems to be agitating him, and he feels as though he can’t catch a break. Then you come along. Alternatively: You may just be his saving grace, hidden in plain sight.

Slight? Angst but mainly fluff

A/N: I get all my fic ideas when listening to music so bear with me when I say there’s a very certain vibe to this and you have to know the song to understand it.

Songs: Tek it - Cafuné

The clock strikes noon, and Mattheo couldn’t be more than relieved to finally leave the stuffy clasroom. Tossing his bag over his shoulder, he swiftly makes his way out of the classroom, ignoring the agitated glares of the other students he had so rudely shoved past.

Now Mattheo wishes he could say he wasn’t this rude that often. He didn’t really go out of his way to fight people per se, but it just so happened to be that he was quite confrontational and rather good at resolving things with his fists. However these past few days he had been more on edge than usual, snapping at almost everyone for reasons that were far beyond him.

Everything seemed to agitate him immensely, from the way lessons seemed to drag on, to his deskmates who all seemed to have a penchant for being the most agitating, infuriating people possible.

I mean, seriously? What could compel a person to chomp down on a beef sandwich in the middle of class at 10 in the morning? The professor may not have noticed but Mattheo most certainly did, having to spend the last hour with a raging headache trying to ignore the obnoxious chewing sounds and the revolting smell of beef.

He all but almost cries as he collapses down onto the sofa in the common room, grateful for the fact that everyone else seemed to have lessons currently. He closes his eyes for a millisecond, letting out a small sigh of frustration.

He feels the sofa dip beside him and that same frustration returns. He opens his eyes, ready to snap at whatever poor person had decided to sit next to him, but his gaze immediately softens when he realises it was you.

“Oh,” He murmurs, and a lazy grin tugs at your lips as you look over at him, raising a brow.

It’s remarkable just how quickly his mood seems to lighten when he sees you.

“Oh?” You repeat, amused.

“Mhmm. Just not in the mood for it recently and thought you were Belby or some other git. I was ready to hex you.” He murmurs, and you roll your eyes in mock admonishment as you reach for your book, leaning back into the sofa as you thumb through the pages.

“Charming, Riddle. Really, I feel flattered.” You say sarcastically, and the corners of Mattheo's mouth quirk upwards.

You and Mattheo were part of the same extended friend group. You weren’t the closest with him, yet you weren’t absolute strangers. You didn’t talk that much to one another, but got along surprisingly well. Mattheo was one of the only people (bar Blaise) who could match your wit and dry humour, and you were one of the few (if not only) people who didn't seem to annoy him.

You pay him no mind as you read your book, and with any other person, Mattheo would have been largely grateful for that. But for some bizarre reason, he wants you to speak to him.

He glances over at you for a second, admiring the way the gentle glow from the fireplace illuminates your face as you read.

How oblivious could one get?

You break the silence, peering down at your book as you speak.

“Do you have a double free period?”

Mattheo hums, looking over at you. He wants you to look up at him so badly, and he can’t tell why. It seemed as though he’d need a slap in the face to make him realise why he craved so much attention from you.

He shifts on the sofa, trying to appear nonchalant as he replies, "Yeah, luckily. No classes for the rest of the day. What about you?"

You glance up from your book, meeting his gaze with a faint smile. "Same here. Wanna come walk around with me?” You ask, and Mattheo nods, albeit a bit confused as to why you’d want to wander around in such cold weather aimlessly.

You reach into your robe pocket, producing a neatly rolled joint with a cheeky wag of your eyebrows. A grin spreads across Mattheo's face as he looks at you, and he raises a brow in mock disappointment.

“Am I seeing correctly, or has the academic prodigy of Hogwarts just suggested we use our valuable study time to get high?”Mattheo taunts, and you scoff, getting up.

“Piss off, Riddle. Are you coming or not?” You retort, glancing back at him.

He looks up at you, and his gaze lingers far too long on the way your eyes light up, your mouth forming a gentle curve as you smile at him and-

Oh god, Mattheo never really stood a chance, did he?

He nods, getting up as he grabs his robe and follows you. You both meander aimlessly through the empty corridors of Hogwarts, poking fun at the unfortunate students who still had lessons. As you walk past a classroom you catch a glimpse of Theodore, chin resting atop his palm as he sleepily gazes at the board. You snicker, nudging Mattheo as you both hide at the side of the doorway, peering into the class. Mattheo wraps an arm around your waist, moving you behind him and you ignore the way you reel at his touch, dazed for a second.

It doesn’t last long, however, for you're drawn out of your short-lived crisis when you spot Mattheo pulling his wand out from his pocket, discreetly pointing it in Theodore’s direction. It was rather astounding seeing how no other students in the class noticed you, but Professor Binn had a rather uncanny knack for getting people to fall into a zombie-like state of fatigue whenever they were in his class. You were convinced it had to be some sort of superpower.

With a short flick of his wand, Theodore's eyes widened as he yelped, hand shooting up to clasp over his upper arm.

As Theodore's yelp echoes through the classroom, everyone snaps out of their daze, their attention immediately drawn to the source of the disturbance. Theodore grimaces, sheepishly looking down as he tries to play it off. Unable to contain your laughter anymore, you snort, and the sound has everyone turning to look outside the classroom.

Mattheo grabs your hand, pulling you along as the two of you run down the corridor, laughter bubbling up from deep within you.

As you round a corner, out of sight from the classroom, you finally come to a stop, breathless from both the running and the laughter. Mattheo leans against the wall, trying to catch his breath as he looks at you with sparkling eyes.

It was amazing how he had gone from being so irate to so…. Carefree. He felt alive with you, like he could forget about the countless burdens that weighed down on him day in and day out.

“That was bloody brilliant,” You wheeze, clutching your ribs as you laugh. Mattheo grins, panting as he nods.

“Theodore’s hilarious. Can’t wait to hear him complain about that later on,” He muses and you snort, straightening up. You jerk your head to the side, motioning for him to join you as you slip out of the castle onto the school grounds. You leisurely walk down the fields, heading towards the Black Lake.

You stop at a large cluster of rocks near the surface of the water, plopping down on the slightly damp grass. Mattheo joins you, long legs stretched out in front of him as you fish around your pocket. His arm presses against yours and you’re immediately warmed by the heat coming off his body, trying to ignore the intoxicating aroma of his cologne filling your senses.

You hit Mattheo's thigh with your hand, nudging him to get the lighter as you place the blunt between your lips. He obliges, cupping his hand around the flame as you lean down to light the tip, taking a few drags. You pass it over to Mattheo, tilting your head back as you exhale with a sigh. Mattheo mimics your actions, letting out a low groan as he passes the blunt back to you.

“Shit, this is fucking good.” He murmurs, eyes flickering over to you as you take another drag.

You speak, blunt dangling between those perfect lips of yours that Mattheo can’t seem to tear his eyes off of.

“Should be,” You muse, handing it over to Matteho as he takes another long drag. “I sucked dick for it.” You comment offhandedly and Mattheo splutters, coughing as he smacks his fist against his chest, looking over at you in disbelief. You look at him with a lazy grin, a hint of amusement in your eyes.

“Relax, of course I didn’t. But with the price it came at I may as well have.” You murmur, shaking your head.

“So ladylike” He teases and you roll your eyes for what must be the umpteenth time, slapping his thigh as you snatch the blunt back.

You remain silent for a while, and it's oddly comforting. Just you and Mattheo, passing the blunt back and forth between one another as you overlook the black lake. The setting sun is reflected in the ripple of the water, golden rays dancing along the small waves that give the illusion of the lake being made of pure gold.

Mattheo leans back on his elbows, exhaling a cloud of smoke into the crisp air. You're reclined beside him, the gentle lapping of the water providing a soothing backdrop to your conversation.

"So, Riddle, what's been bothering you lately?" you ask casually, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between you.

Mattheo hesitates for a moment, his gaze fixed on the horizon as he considers his response. He's never been one to open up easily, but there's something about the softness in your voice that makes him want to confide in you.

"Just...everything, I guess," he admits finally, his tone uncharacteristically vulnerable. "I feel like I'm constantly on edge, and I'm not sure why.”

Your gaze remains on the lake, a pensive expression on your face as you hum.

“I get it. I suppose for all their goodwill it's a bit hard for the boys to understand that.” You murmur and Mattheo chuckles, looking down at the long strands of grass he was fiddling with.

“Tell me about it”

You remain silent for a second longer, before turning to face Mattheo. He looks up at you and feels as though he's pinned down under your gaze. It’s as though you were dissecting his very being, staring at him with a calculating look before you speak once again, your voice low and soft.

“You don’t always have to be a hardhead. You don’t need to dismiss how you’re feeling. We aren’t meant to have this figured out yet. We’re still young, with so much to learn. What’s the point of life if we know it all now?”

Mattheo listens to your words, feeling as though you've peered straight into his soul and laid bare all his insecurities. There's a wisdom in your words that resonates deeply with him. It's as though you possess a wisdom beyond your years, a rare insight that he finds both intimidating and captivating.

"Thank you," he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper.

That god-forsaken smile appears on your face again, and you look over at Mattheo.

“Don’t. Someone has to tell you this, right? I love Nott to bits but I doubt he has anything but quidditch on his mind.” You joke, and Mattheo laughs.

You seamlessly lighten the mood, and Mattheo is eternally grateful for that. Really, he’s grateful for you. He can't think of the last time he's laughed so much. Or felt so free. Perhaps it was the weed, that had lowered his inhibitions and relieved him of his stresses.

But no, it was a drug far worse than that. He had just gotten a taste of it and he knew he would be hooked on it. It came in the form of you, and gods was it dangerous.

There's a heavy silence between the two of you, broken by the sound of rustling as Mattheo sits up abruptly, a grin spreading across his face.

"Hey, wanna go closer to the edge of the lake? I think I saw something cool over there," he suggests, his tone playful as he nudges you with his elbow.

"What, are you trying to pull some sort of prank on me, Riddle?" You ask, your tone sceptical as you raise an eyebrow.

Mattheo feigns innocence, holding up his hands in mock surrender. "Who, me? Never," he replies with a smirk, his eyes dancing with mischief.

Despite your reservations, you can't help but be intrigued by Mattheo's suggestion, and with a shrug, you agree to accompany him to the water's edge.

You walk a few steps to the surface of the black lake, peering down at your own reflection for a second. You turn to Mattheo, caught off guard when he gives you a playful shove.

You yelp, reaching out instinctively to grab onto Mattheo as you lose your balance. Instead of regaining your footing, you find yourself slipping on the dampened grass near the edge of the lake and falling backwards into the water with Mattheo.

The icy cold water seems to seep into your body, eradicating any hint of warmth. You resurface with a gasp, brushing your wet hair away from your face as you tread water, your robe floating around you in the water.

Mattheo resurfaces moments after you, his curly brown hair now plastered against his forehead, droplets of water glistening in the fading light. He blinks the water from his eyes and looks at you with a playful grin.

“Why did you do that!” He gasps, though his tone is lighthearted and playful.

You roll your eyes, splashing him in retaliation. “You practically threw me in there! I just needed to find my footing!” You retort, indignified.

Mattheo chuckles, the sound echoing across the stillness of the lake. “Fair point.” He concedes.

Not a second later, however, he splashes you with water, somehow drenching you even further.

“Mattheo!” You gasp, sending a wave of water back at him. The two of you playfully fight in the water, and you laugh, head tilted back. It's a scene straight out of a childhood fantasy, the cares and worries of the world melting away beneath the warm glow of the setting sun.

Mattheo pauses, and his heart pounds against his sternum as he hears your laugh. It’s loud and it's unabashed, and it's the most perfect thing ever. You smile, and he feels as though he can't breathe, you had to have stolen his breath.

The golden rays of the sun illuminate your skin, catching in the droplets of water that cling to the wet tendrils of your hair. You looked like an image out of a Renaissance painting, and Mattheo is sure the sun must hide itself in shame, for on its brightest day it couldn’t compete with your radiance.

He takes in the way the fading sunlight casts a warm glow on your features, highlighting the curve of your cheekbones and the sparkle in your eyes. He’s sure the image must be etched into his mind, permanently engraved. He knows when he closes his eyes, all he will see is the image of you, and he doesn’t mind it one bit.

In fact, he welcomes it.

In your presence, he feels alive in a way he never has before. He will wake up tomorrow and face all the trials and tribulations the universe has to throw at him. For now, however, the sun is shining. The water is cold, but you make him feel warmer. The gentle sound of water sloshing about fills the silence, the horizon is beautiful.

Everything was alright.

@mildlyuninformative @chgrch @gillyweeds @anti-hero03 @schaebickel @lillywildly @multifandom-worlds

#slytherin #slytherin boys #tom riddle #harry potter #draco malfoy #lorenzo berkshire #slytherin boys fic #theodore nott #blaise zabini #pansy parkinson #mattheo x you #mattheo riddle x reader comfort #mattheoxreader #mattheo x y/n #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle fluff

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its-time-to-write · 10 months

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hey big fan of your writing!! you write jamie so perfectly 💜 pls forgive me if you’ve already written something about this (i haven’t been able to find it if so) but could you write something post-mom city episode with the reader taking care of jamie when he’s hurt after the game and telling him how proud she is?? 🥹 thank you!!

This one’s canon compliant with you don’t want to know me for no reason other than the fact that I like to make my fics match up. It’s fun for me to pretend like I could write something with chapters someday😇 Hope you like it!

you’re in the kitchen humming

Of course, the one game you can’t go to is the one where Jamie gets injured so badly he has to come home on crutches. He’s not even the one who texts you about it. It’s Ted who writes, Your boy got hurt pretty badly. Might want to come pick him up when we get back.

So now you’re headed to AFC Richmond because Jamie only just let you know they’re back.

we’re in the treatment room, he says, and you don’t even take a moment to ask who we is.

It’s Roy and Keeley, and you aren’t a little bit surprised. They’re been passing around a bottle and laughing, so obviously Jamie can’t be hurt that badly. His right foot is stuck in a bucket of ice, so you get him up, say goodnight to Roy and Keeley, and help him tipsily hop to your car. Jamie chatters on about the game the whole ride home, only leaving room for you to interject the occasional “mhm,” or “I’m so proud of you!”

It’s somewhat of a chore to get him out of the car, mostly because he’s laughing so hard at the sheer absurdity of the situation, humor exaggerated by the champagne.

You finally maneuver him onto the couch and get him laid down, leg elevated. He’s still giggling.

You flip on the kitchen light to make him some food. You wonder briefly how many times you’ve done this: put Jamie on the couch, made him food, and let him take you to bed. It’s been a few years’ worth.

You’re at the stove humming softly, when you hear a tap thump, tap thump as Jamie hobbles over to wrap his arms around you from behind.

“Oi, you need to be lying down, mister,” you scold.

Jamie just presses his face into the crook of your neck.

“Can’t get comfortable. I’m still in my kit and I need help getting it off.”

His words are laced with a suggestive tone, made more apparent by the fact that his hands are no longer on your waist per se, but more under your waistband.

You put down the spatula and turn off the stove.

“Jamie Tartt,” you say in a tone that means listen the fuck up, “if you want even half a chance of getting in my pants tonight, you’ll go back to the couch and put ice on your ankle.”

His hands slip away and he groans, but complies. You shake your head and slide the eggs onto a plate.

You hate eggs, but they’re Jamie’s go-to post-match food. You asked him why once, and he said something about his mum and it being the only thing she could cook without burning.

So you suck it up and make him scrambled eggs every time he comes home from a game, whether home or away. Tonight, you bring him his plate on the couch, sit next to him, and hold it for him to eat.

You say softly, “I’m really proud of you, Jaim,” as he pushes himself into a sitting position. “Didn’t really get a chance to say it, but I am. You absolutely smashed it today.”

Jamie smirks. “I got your emojis,” he says. “Had twenty-one missed texts from you, none of ‘em containing a single word.” He puts down his fork and reaches into a pocket for his phone. “Got a fuck-ton of hearts, some fireworks, and one squirrel.”

You blush. Ah yes. The squirrel.

“Don’t think I can make it up the stairs,” he laments. “Might just have to stay on the couch all night. Sad. Alone. Fucking horny.”

You roll your eyes and flick his arm with your free hand. “You done eating? Because you need a shower. You smell, and I’m not fucking you until you’re clean.”

Jamie grins. “But you are going to fuck me.”

You shake your head. Yes, you are. With a goal like that, how could you not? Plus his foot’s injured, and he must be in pain. He could use a good distraction.

Jamie’s mind has to be going in a similar direction because he asks, “You gonna shower with me? I hate showering alone.”

“Obviously,” you respond. “You can barely stand on your own and you’re going to need help with your hair.”

—

This shower is a lot less sexy than some might imagine. Jamie is trying to keep his balance without putting weight on his foot, but it’s difficult because it’s slippery. You’ve made it through most of his shower routine (and yours too) but now you’re at the final step. Conditioner.

You grab the bottle and Jamie frowns. “You remember how much to use?”

You nod, but he’s not convinced. “Let me put it on your hand,” he says, grabbing the bottle and forgetting to be careful of his ankle. He puts too much weight on it and it gives out with a “fuck,” leaving Jamie’s lips.

He’s slipping and trying to grab onto something and that something is you so now you’re both tangled on the floor of the shower, water running in your faces and Jamie grimacing from pain.

—

You do manage to get him back up and condition his hair to his satisfaction (“It’s a delicate balance, babe,”) but the slip was not good for Jamie’s ankle. You have to go back downstairs for more ice, so now he’s lying flat on his back on the bed, towel wrapped precariously loose around his waist. When you’re satisfied that the ice is secure and Jamie’s foot is at a good angle, you flop down in the bed next to him. You’re still in your towel, too.

“I can’t stop thinking about that kick,” you say.

Jamie asks, “Which one? I did a lot of those,” and you laugh.

“The one to block Man City’s goal. The one where you landed wrong. It was probably the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. I’m so, so proud of you. I just can’t get over the fact that you can do all that and then you come home to me. It boggles my mind.”

Jamie’s blowing tickly breaths in your ear to make you shiver. “I was pretty sexy, weren’t I?”

You laugh again. “Everything’s always about being sexy with you, isn’t it? Sure, I’ll admit you were sexy. But you were also admirable and selfless and brave and amazing. You can’t sell yourself short.”

Jamie’s silent for a moment, and you think he’s fallen asleep. You look over to see him staring at the ceiling with glazed eyes.

You ask, “Are you crying?” and the words are barely out of your mouth before Jamie’s saying fuck no but you know he means fuck yes so you roll over to kiss him, because sometimes it’s better to leave some things unsaid. He’s pretty great, and you’re glad you’re the one who gets to tell him.

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt #ted lasso

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that-bwitch · 14 days

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cruel summer

alright, let me just quietly drop this off and crawl back into my hole of not writing for five more years maybe???

cruel summer by taylor swift as inspiration warning: probably slightly sexual stuff, swearing wc: 5,7k

You were never the type to go for such a relationship, but for some reason it… just happened. It was the dumbest explanation in the history of ever and you knew it, but every time you looked into your bathroom mirror at 6 a.m. on a Saturday, you somehow managed to convince yourself that it was totally normal. Totally normal to go running to find a random alleyway where he said his letter would be waiting this early in the morning on a weekend. Absolutely normal to cry your eyes out every time he left oh-so-suddenly because he remembered he had stuff to do and you were obviously not a part of it. Completely normal to run into him and his friends at a bar, see a girl flirting her heart out at him and pretend like it was fine, like it wasn’t a big fat needle stabbed right into your already bleeding heart. He always told you that he felt exactly the same, that he wished things were different, that you were the one on his arm on a night out, but nothing changed in the two months that you have spent together. Well, “together”.

You met Sirius precisely on the 1st of June. Well, you met him years ago, actually, but it wasn’t the same, sure enough. At Hogwarts you weren’t really close, though you wished it to be different. He was the popular kid, so it wasn’t like it was easy to just go up to him and talk – for you, anyway. He had his own entourage, if you could call his three goofy friends that, and others weren’t usually a constant in their bunch. The guys weren’t mean per se, not to everyone around them at least, but you always viewed them as unapproachable. And of course you had a crush on Sirius. It was so cliché you had to laugh at your own silliness. A crush on the popular guy, wow, how original. But those were your feelings and you couldn’t just make them go away, you could only try to suppress them, which, you were sure, resulted in the current predicament you found yourself in.

So, you met Sirius precisely on the 1st of June. It happened on a busy street, and you just had to bump into someone you craved and hated to see so badly. He instantly recognized you, so you couldn’t play the “who are you?” game – it would be pretty pathetic to pretend you didn’t remember his very one-in-a-million face. As soon as your eyes met his, you felt like a schoolgirl again, like you didn’t graduate five years ago and just looked at him across the crowded hall in-between classes. He changed a lot, but also didn’t change in the slightest; his hair was definitely shorter and his beard longer, he looked more mature, but at the same time… That devilish grin of his that always lurked somewhere deep in his eyes and creases of his lips never went away. And it was probably the thing that completely destroyed your guard without you even being able to put it up. You spoke to him in a voice that existed somewhere outside of your consciousness, words were flowing out of your mouth like they were meant to, and soon you found yourself on his arm walking to some “sick muggle place” he wanted to show you. Ever since you haven’t visited any sick muggle places together, or sick wizard places for that matter. Your relationship – again, “relationship” – wasn’t something for the daylight of London, magical or not. It was something for secret hideouts, narrow alleyways, the darkness and the cool air of the night. Something for the stars to see, as Sirius liked to say. It was kinda romantic, you had to admit, but as time went by, you began to feel sorry for the sun – it had never been a witness of the beautiful thing that existed between the two of you. Yes, you never really defined what the “thing” was, but it was beautiful nevertheless! Or so you said, trying to persuade your crying eyes and crying heart.

This Saturday was all the same shit all over again. You got ready at 6 a.m. to meet Sirius… somewhere. You didn’t really know where yet, he always did this stupid thing where he told you where to go, and then you had to apparate from there. There always was some knick-knack waiting for you, like a hat that someone left on a bench or an obviously fake flower hiding among real ones in a flower bed. You were kinda amused at the lengths Sirius was ready to go to hide your rendezvous, but simultaneously you were hurt - the lengths he was ready to go! This time, the trinket of the day was an old torn up shoe hiding under a tree. You touched the thing, and boom, there you were, or, better to say, there he was – the effect his sudden emergence had on you was probably stronger than the other way round. He was always on top of his “looking cool” game, even more so, on top of the “hot and irresistibly sexy” game. He wore shirts and ripped jeans; leather jackets were also a frequent occurrence, along with the gloves – the fucker was always on his motorcycle and gloves went as a package deal.

As soon as Sirius saw you, he stopped leaning on the fence he stood next to and went up to you, immediately scooping you up into his warm embrace. He smelled his usual self – leather, tobacco smoke and a slight hint of cinnamon, telling you he had already had his morning coffee. And sure enough, when he pressed his lips against yours, you felt the bitterness of a double-shot espresso, no sugar. You slightly winced because you weren’t a fan of him having a coffee when he knew in advance he would be kissing you. Your expression changed, however, when he leaned away and held up something in front of you – a cup of freshly brewed coffee, steam still floating above.

“You knew I hated the coffee breath”.

You couldn’t help smiling, taking a sip of hot stuff and sucking in the air immediately afterwards – you burned the hell out of the tip of your tongue. The other hot stuff grinned, shrugging and crossing his arms on his chest.

“That’s why I got you the bribe. Can’t have you upset on such a nice day, can I?”

And that was the essence of him. Sirius could do basically anything and you would let it slide, he was that charmingly convincing. He clearly took note of this power a long time ago and oftentimes used it to his advantage. It wasn’t bad stuff, normally, because he wasn’t a total asshole and he had some level of care for you – or so you thought. Little things like coffee breath, cigarettes, a scratchy beard, they made him the person that he was and you wouldn’t want him any other way. No, actually, you would; you’d want him in any way, shape or form because it was him.

You slowly sipped your coffee, savouring the moment you didn’t want to end. Sadly, it still ended every time, no matter how hard you tried to stall for minutes and seconds. Sirius always told you that he would love to stay but you didn’t really believe him. If he wanted to, he would, right? You tried to keep to this principle and not make a big deal out of his simple, almost empty filler words to make it seem like he cared. After all, your situation was a situationship and nothing more.

“We’re having a party tomorrow.” Sirius’ words yanked you out of your temporary serenity.

“Okay? Have fun at the party.”

You didn’t really know why he would tell you this pretty mundane thing in the Marauders household. They had parties, like, every week, and for the most bizarre reasons – celebrating the beginning of summer, and separately the beginning of June, celebrating a whole working week without work, which meant they pissed around with no missions to go on and were basically on holiday. Sirius told you about some of them before they happened, sometimes after, sometimes during – yes, he literally had an owl sent to you during one of the parties because he was drunk and wanted to fuck. So when he told you about this week’s soiree, you just slightly raised your eyebrows and continued to stare into the distance.

“I will, don’t you worry,” Sirius said with a smirk on his lips. “But I want you to have fun as well.”

Well, that was new. So new that a drop of coffee slipped somewhere in your throat where it shouldn’t have and you started coughing like a mad woman. In the process you turned to look at the absolute menace standing next to you and saw this shit-eating grin of his that showed complete satisfaction. He knew of the effect his words would have on you and he was totally going for the shock factor.

“Did you just say what I heard you saying?” you asked as soon as your throat’s condition went back to normal.

“Well, what did I say?”

“Oh, come on. You’re doing this on purpose.” He had this way of making you feel embarrassed because now you started to doubt your own ears. Did he…?

“Did you just invite me to the party?”

“If that’s what you heard…” Sirius drawled the words like they were butter and sugar mixed together. “Nah, I’m just playing.” Seeing a very frustrated expression on your face, he took pity on you and confirmed your assumptions. “I did, in fact, just invite you to the party.”

You could but stare at him in disbelief. The topic of you going to parties was kind of taboo between the two of you, the initiative mainly coming from Sirius’ side. He didn’t want anyone knowing that he was seeing you, so obviously you couldn’t come there even as a friend – because god forbid he had a friend in you, right? You had to accept the fact and started freezing out any emotions when it came to his stupid parties. And now he was breaching the subject just like that, with a wide grin on his face and no care in the world.

“But why?” was all you could mutter at the moment.

“Well, I just thought you’d like that, you know. I always say our parties are fun but have nothing to show for it.”

Sirius sounded sincere. You didn’t know what to make of it yet, but at least he wasn’t planning to hurt you. He never was, but sometimes it just happened – like you just happened to end up in his bed on the 1st of June.

“Why the change of heart?” And you actually wanted to know the answer to this question. It was so sudden and you couldn’t believe something fishy wasn’t going on.

“Just because.” He shrugged and shook his head. “If you’re looking for a catch, there isn’t any.”

“Are you sure?”

“Pretty sure, yes. Well, don’t tell anyone about, you know… this whole thing.” He pointed at you and then at himself a couple of times. “But it’s always been a condition, so, no catch.”

You silently stared through him for a minute or two. You were thinking hard about making the right decision and thankfully, he understood and gave you some space. Maybe you were making too big of a deal, making a mountain out of a molehill, if you will, but it was a big deal. You have never met Sirius’ friends in a more or less official setting other than, you know, studying together for seven years and vaguely hanging around them; you happened to bump into them a couple of times here and there, but it was nothing. At max, you exchanged some hellos and how-are-yous. It would be different this time though. You hoped it could be a step towards getting out of the shadows of starry nights and stolen passionate make-out sessions just to part seconds later. You weren’t sure at all.

“Alright. The party it is.”

You were almost surprised at the words that so suddenly escaped your mouth. You really said that? Of course you did. You could tell by the glint in Sirius’ eyes that appeared only at those times when he got what he wanted and reveled in his success.

He didn’t reply though. In silence he walked up to you and placed his hand on your waist, pulling you closer. You felt his warmth enveloping you from head to toe and couldn’t think straight anymore. He did these things to you that you couldn’t describe with natural human words. The sounds around you were muffled by his soft voice whispering sweet nothings in your ear. They were nothings, but to you they meant the world. You were completely lost in him and forgot everything that could possibly bother you, including the party. At the moment, there were you and there was him.

—

You stood in front of the door, biting your lips in hesitation. Were you really about to do it? Were you about to knock on the door and face Sirius’ and his friends – and pretend like he hadn’t been fucking your brains out for two months?! It seemed impossible, and the thought of you and him being in the same vicinity so publicly made you want to vomit. You felt your stomach turn, actually. “But you wanted this,” you spelled out over and over, closing your eyes and making fireworks appear in your mind, trying to convince yourself that it was just excitement and not terrible unrest. You just couldn’t feel insecure: you looked good, you made sure of that; you smelled good, most importantly, it was Sirius’ favourite scent of yours. What could possibly go wrong?

“Coming!”

You heard a very familiar voice responding to your weak knock on the door. Seconds later it opened and you saw the face of the man who was responsible for you being here in the first place. Sirius pulled you into his arms and ran his fingers along your spine, sending shivers throughout your whole body. It felt almost forbidden to do it so close to the crowd of his friends, them literally being in the room next to you, but at the moment you couldn’t care less. Moved by a sudden impulse, you put your hand on the back of his head and pushed his face closer to yours, crushing your lips together. You could feel Sirius was surprised by your actions but at the same time he was genuinely pleased because it was usually him who took initiative. The two of you stood there for what felt like ages, just enjoying each other’s presence, but really only a couple minutes had passed. Your bliss was interrupted by another man’s voice coming from the inside of the house.

“Pads, where are you?! Did Voldemort come back and you had to kill him real quick?!!”

It was certainly James, you could tell by the way he sounded – always somewhat carefree and cheerful, always in high spirits and completely unbothered. Sirius swiftly pulled away, adjusting the collar of his shirt and running his hand through his hair in an attempt to make it look untouched. Another young man appeared from behind, beaming at you with a friendly smile.

“Y/N, right?”

James approached you in a rapid fashion and gave you a good old one-arm hug – a nice greeting for someone who was, for now, just an acquaintance. You noticed two things at the same time that made the only butterfly in your stomach flutter its wings: first of all, you were clearly welcome in the household, and secondly… You couldn’t help spotting a hint of jealousy in Sirius’ face. There was something about his tense expression that he tried to cover up with a smile too big for the situation.

“Yes, and I certainly remember that you’re James.”

“Oh yeah. It’s harder not to remember me than to do it, you know? Now come on, you came to have fun, after all!”

You chuckled and followed James deeper into the house. Sirius stayed behind for just a second to lock the door but he caught up to you pretty quickly. You felt his hand on yours and turned your head to give him a surprised look. It was definitely too much affection for his own imaginary boundaries around your behaviour in his friend circle. He looked down, as if he suddenly felt disappointed, let go of your hand and skipped forward to walk next to James. You decided to put this to the back of your mind for the night, but it was certainly something to unpack later.

The living room was truly living. A quick scan of faces surrounding you made it clear that you didn’t know a lot of them. Some you recognized from Hogwarts, but the majority of them were as new as the whole atmosphere you found yourself in. Obviously, Sirius never cared to give you any information about people close to him or even people he talked to other than The Crew, so you felt rather uneasy dissolving into a crowd of strangers. James steadily walked you to the other side of the room, where you could finally make out a few familiar faces. Lily was sitting in front of the fireplace, her red hair blending in with the flames; Remus occupied an armchair to her right, looking happy and relaxed with a bottle of butterbeer in his hand; he was chatting to Marlene, who sat on the couch with her legs crossed, laughing at something Remus said. You felt the tension leaving your stiff neck – the company seemed pretty chill and you could definitely see yourself getting along with them like a house on fire.

“Hey guys, this is…”

“This is Y/N.” Sirius interrupted James’ attempt to introduce you to the group. He had a grin on his face but something was hiding behind the seemingly nonchalant tone of his voice. Like his lighthearted exterior was just a disguise for something… something. You truly couldn’t discern his motives at the moment.

You awkwardly waved at the people staring at you, for a few seconds feeling like a zoo animal in a cage. But as soon as the girls smiled at you and Marlene scooted over to make space for you on the couch, you truly relaxed. Sirius plopped down next to you and you inadvertently thought that it would be magical if he could wrap his arm around your shoulders and you had a right to rest your head on his chest.

“Hi, Y/N!” Lily’s voice was full of genuine excitement. “We have a-a-all been waiting to meet you, but this fella,” she pointed at Sirius and looked at him like a prosecutor looked at an accused in court, “he never invited you anywhere with us!”

“Oh really?”

You raised your eyebrows in disbelief that you failed to conceal. When you looked at Sirius, his eyes were closed and his head slightly shaking, like he wasn’t going to retort in any way. The fucker was laughing under his breath as well! And apparently, he did it all the time when they talked about you, because no one even tried to question his antics.

“Well, now I’m here. Ta-da-a-a!”

You threw up your hands and heard some chuckles from the group. It made a smile appear on your lips because their laughter meant you had their approval. Thankfully, they didn’t ask anything about you and Sirius anymore and instead started quizzing you about your life after Hogwarts and all that jazz. You were relieved and even Sirius’ weird behaviour made an escape from your mind for a while. At some point the boys left to go outside and “clear their minds” – in reality, they obviously went out for a smoke; as they said, out of respect for the ladies.

“You’re really cool, Y/N.” The phrase was delivered by Marlene in a kind of childish manner, but it brought you lots of joy nevertheless. “You know, we were really… shocked, you could say, when Sirius didn’t bring you here as a girlfriend today.”

You choked on literal air when you heard this confession of Marlene.

“Uh… Why?” was all you could make up in response.

“Well, we, y’know, made a bet, kind of…” Marlene started to sound more and more absently as she spoke. She suddenly understood that she said something she shouldn’t have but it was too late to take it back. “Lily?” She looked at her friend with really upset eyes, searching for support.

“Yeah… Listen, Y/N, it’s nothing bad, I promise,” Lily continued after Marlene, who seemed to have a huge weight taken off her shoulders. You frowned, because usually “nothing bad” was, in fact, something bad when it came to Sirius and his shenanigans. “It’s just, you know, that Sirius kinda had a crush on you back at school, but you never really talked and then after graduation you went your separate ways.”

That much was true, but Sirius having a crush on you became a huge shock for you. Of course he had never mentioned it, why would he? It’s not like it was important fucking stuff.

“And then he met you two months ago and we were all so excited!” Lily continued, noticing your lack of response. “We really thought there was something between you two and you could finally explore that. So we made a bet that it would take you two months to start dating.”

“Two months?” You felt silly focusing on such a small thing, but you needed something to hold on to in order not to lose your sanity.

“That’s how long it took him to forget you after school, so we thought it was symbolic, kinda… It’s a whole thing.” Marlene picked up Lily’s explanation to unburden her friend – they were letting you in on top-secret information, it seemed. “We didn’t believe him when he told us you two were just friends and didn’t even talk much. But now it turns out he was right and all of us feel kinda stupid.” Marlene rolled her eyes and let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have known, but it’s void at this point anyway.”

You were silent throughout the whole speech and remained so after it was finished. What could you even say? You could dump everything on the girls right now, tell them about every single encounter you had with Sirius during the last two months, the 1st of June included, but what would you actually accomplish? They would probably think you’re a lunatic and banish you from the house immediately. Sirius was their close friend, after all, and you were just a rando they used to see at school sometimes. No, there were no reasons to tell them anything. The only person who had to have something to show for his shit was Sirius.

“I need to have a breath of something fresh, preferably air,” you explained, standing up quite abruptly and feeling your head getting a little dizzy.

“Oh, did we upset you?” Lily seemed genuinely concerned.

“No, no, don’t worry,” you reassured both of the girls even though they did, in fact, upset you, albeit unintentionally. “It’s just stuffy here. I’ll be back soon.”

You were actually headed outside, but for a different reason. You decided to have a talk with Sirius, even if it ended up ruining your relationship. Was there anything to really ruin, though? Now you knew that he could easily play with your feelings if it meant winning a stupid bet with his friends. And this whole thing about him liking you at school… You felt like passing out. Your knees would have given up and let you fall down on the floor, making an absolute fool of yourself, if you didn’t hear voices getting closer and closer to you. A moment later the boys emerged from behind the wall. Sirius noticed you as soon as he walked in and somehow, you saw it in his eyes that really were a mirror of his mind sometimes, he knew that you knew. He stopped at once, letting the others continue on their way without him.

“I’ll just have a quick word with Y/N,” he shouted after them, and James just nodded, still immersed in the conversation. Apparently, the latest Quidditch game was the most important thing in the world right then and there. Not for long, you thought, imagining the talk in the living room that Lily and Marlene were about to have with the group. You glanced at Sirius, who stood there looking at the wall and avoiding your prying eyes as hard as he could. Without saying a word you headed towards the front door, afraid that you could fly off the handle right then and there, and everybody would hear you being absolutely pathetic.

The air of the night was noticeably cooler than when you came. You breathed in with your whole chest. breathing out slowly with your mouth. At the moment, it was important to compose yourself and… What were you actually planning to do? You couldn’t decide yet. The logical thing to do would probably be to break up, right? Well, “break up”, you weren’t dating or anything. But – and you hated yourself for it – you just couldn’t imagine never seeing Sirius again for the rest of your life. During the two months of your arrangement he became an ever-encompassing presence in your day-to-day – or, more accurately, night-to-night. You couldn’t imagine not feeling his gentle but sturdy hands touching you all over, couldn’t imagine not being able to run your fingers through his hair, not seeing that mischievous spark in his eyes, that devilish grin… His essence, simply put, was eating you up from the inside and made you some kind of an addict, as much as you were afraid to admit it. So you weren’t exactly sure he wouldn’t be able to persuade you to do whatever he wanted and you wouldn’t even mind. But you did plan on putting up at least some sort of a fight.

“So?” You heard Sirius’ was from behind and realized he had been standing there all this time, patiently waiting for you to begin.

“So? Well, that’s bold,” you replied, turning to face him. It was, very likely, a huge mistake – you would certainly have more success in leading the fight if you didn’t have to look into his eyes. You blinked as if to erase their image from your mind. Didn’t help.

“What do you want me to say?”

And there it was. Such a Sirius classic. What do you want me to say, you’re overreacting, what more do you want from me, I don’t like all this drama, yada-yada-yada… These sneaky little tactics always drove you insane. He wasn’t ever ready to admit his fault. He always managed to calm you down with a kiss (and something else afterwards) and all your grievances were left unsolved. You couldn’t do it this time, though.

“You know exactly what, Sirius, stop with your nonsense right now.” You tried to sound stern and it seemed like you succeeded, seeing as Sirius looked a bit defeated.

“So… you do know?”

“What do you think?” It was time to start playing his games by your rules… kinda. You were still to master the “manipulation without regret” bit because you, unlike him, were still able to feel remorse.

“Look, it’s not what you think it is.”

Here we go, you thought, having another deep breath of fresh air sucked into your lungs. He just couldn’t stop being himself, could he?

“No, no, we’re not doing this right now, Sirius.”

“Then what are we doing?”

“STOP!!!”

Even you were surprised to hear your voice coming out of your mouth at this volume. Sirius flinched, visibly surprised and even… scared? It was hard to discern his exact emotions but they weren’t the usual smug ones.

“I’m tired of all this, Sirius. I’ll wait for thirty seconds and if I don’t hear an explanation, I’m leaving. The clock starts now.”

You tensed up inside and out. You were afraid he would just take you up on your offer, turn around and be the first to leave, you know, just to outperform you one last time. You could barely hold an audible sigh when he threw his head back, closed his eyes, swallowed hard and started talking.

“I’m sorry.”

Nice start. It was a first from him.

“What about?”

“About me being an asshole.”

He didn’t even deny it. You felt a teeny tiny bit validated.

“And that’s an understatement. You…” You had a plan to go on a rant but Sirius had this look on his face that you just closed your mouth shut and continued staring at him, waiting for his response.

“Could you please let me finish? I know I never let you so you don’t have to give me the courtesy, but please?”

You nodded, signaling the “go ahead”. His way of talking to you was very different from his usual self and you didn’t know how to process this change yet.

“This bet was dumb. Really, really fucking stupid. And I didn’t want to lose. You know me.” His chuckle had a bitter tinge to it. “I really thought you didn’t mind this whole… thing we had. I was clearly wrong, and I feel like an idiot.”

“You made me look like one in front of your friends, that’s for sure.” You couldn’t help interrupting him there, making an imperative decision not to let him make this about himself. “Can you even imagine how utterly humiliating it is to sit there and have people know something about you that you don’t? And to then pretend like it’s fine and that you knew all along?!”

You felt tears in the corners of your eyes but weren’t even trying to hide them. You felt you deserved to have all your emotions burst at once.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius mumbled in response, still avoiding your gaze. “I was selfish. I thought you wouldn’t know. It’s a shitty excuse, I’m aware. I shouldn’t have put you through this in the first place.”

“Oh really? Well, you certainly did.”

You heard yourself sobbing. At last, the tears won over you and pretty much gained autonomy from your consciousness. Sirius must have noticed it too, because he finally looked at you and, seeing your distress, decided to do what he knew best. Seconds later you were drowning in his warmth, which felt so dangerous yet so comforting at the same time. You didn’t want to succumb to the enemy, but your body felt differently, relaxing as soon as you felt his arms around you and his warm breath on the top of your head. He did smell of tobacco pretty strongly, but you could let it slide once more. You heard his slightly hoarse voice repeating I’m-sorrys again and again, his hand caressing you everywhere from your hair to the small of your back.

“I love you so fucking much.”

You could almost see these words looming through the fog that took over your brain. Sirius’ voice sounded so distant yet it felt like he spoke directly into your heart. Maybe you even imagined it, you thought, to bring yourself some comfort.

“I love you. I will say it over and over if I need to, you hear me?”

No, you definitely didn’t imagine it.

“What?”

You raised your head to look at Sirius through a thick layer of salty water still clouding your eyes. His forehead was wrinkled in a frown but the corners of his lips went up ever so slightly when he heard your voice.

“I love you,” he repeated. “I owed you this from the very beginning, but I was a jerk. You deserve to hear it every day. If you let me, I will make sure of that.”

Somehow, his words felt right. The sensible part of you wanted to object, wanted to pull away from him, run and never go back. This part was muffled by a stupid, futile tidal wave of emotions knocking you down and carrying you into the depths of this neverending ocean called “being head over heels in love with Sirius Black”.

“Fuck you,” you mumbled, looking into his hopeful yet shameless eyes. “I love you too.”

These words of yours were taken as permission. This time him kissing you felt different. It was more… satisfying, you could say. You were still completely enthralled, but it didn’t burn you from the inside like you had been sipping on toxic waste, on the contrary, you felt alive, as if someone poured fresh water all over you and then wrapped you in a cozy blanket. It finally validated every single feeling you had since the 1st of June. It seemed like a logical resolution to this chapter of your life. Except it wasn’t.

“Now you have to clean up the mess, you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“You have to tell everybody!”

Sirius rolled his eyes but nodded. He understood that this task was solely on him.

“Aren’t you afraid?” you teased him while you walked back to the house. “You lost the bet, after all.”

“Having you by my side wherever we go? Losing a bet is a small price to pay.”

The two of you walked into the living room and headed straight to the crew still occupying the VIP lounge next to the fireplace. Everyone looked at you with varying degrees of worry in their eyes because of course they were aware that you knew. Sirius sat down on the couch and you did the same, but this time he did wrap his arm around your shoulders.

“Well, well, well…” James sounded surprised yet satisfied at the same time. “What’s all this about?”

Sirius cleared his throat in preparation for the big speech.

“Alright, I’m just gonna say it and then explain. Guys, meet Y/N, my girlfriend.”

You finally had a right to rest your head on his chest.

#sirius black x reader #sirius black x fem!reader #sirius black x y/n #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black imagine #the marauders #the marauders era

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bvidzsoo · 4 months

Text

Love Me Like A Rockstar (1)

Chapter 1: The death of peace of mind

Author: bvidzsoo

Warning: light cursing

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

Word count: 6,986

Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?

A/N: Hii, first chapter is out, hope you all enjoy it! I hope the lyrics aren't confusing, I went ahead and tried out something new with this story, hopefully it's as enjoyable as I planned it out to be. Please do check the playlist as it'll be updated with each chapter and I also advise you listen to the song before or while reading the chapters, it'll have a different feel. Taglist is open, thank you for showing interest! Please leave feedback and enjoy now!

Taglist: @orshii @lovely-red2 @juicy-red @scarfac3 @sunaswifes-blog

⟨Series M.list ⟩

♫Playlist♫

『I made another mistake

Thought I could change, thought I could make it out』

The rustle of paper, the zipping of a pencil case, the drying scent of freshly used paint, and the oily feeling on your fingertips after using acrylics, the slight burn against your middle finger after having held your pencil tightly for hours were all things I was used to, familiar with. I bit my lower lip as my eyes were stuck to my A5 sketchbook, the paper thick, entranced by the black charcoal forming a way too familiar shape. The outline of the person was dark, shadows creeping around his body, faceless. I didn’t have it in me to put too much detail into his face, my mind kept wandering. I was feeling slightly lost. The weather was getting worse day by day, the sky dark, casting a gloomy feel over our heads. It didn’t help that I haven’t slept well for three days in a row, but perhaps that had something to do with the full moon—or so my mother has said while cooking dinner yesterday.

A sigh left my lips as my fingers itched to trace another line against the paper, to perfect the stray strand of light-colored hair falling against the man’s forehead. My shoulders were hunched over and I only now registered the soreness in my neck and lower back, having been sitting at this stool for almost two hours now. When I was drawing, or painting, time seemed to fly by in a wink, leaving me completely oblivious to everything happening around me. It was a means to calm my mind, to soothe my feelings, and a means to existing without wondering, dwelling, or feeling the dread of not being good enough—and perhaps the worst thought which quite often recurred in my scattered mind was that I didn’t know what I would do with myself once I was done with University. Opening an art club for all the art lovers was a small step in feeling a little accomplishment, however, that would be gone as soon as I was out and away from this place. Who would take over then? Were there students who were interested enough, loved art enough, to continue the little legacy I would leave behind? Those were pressing questions in the back of my mind sometimes, and I knew I was worrying about insignificant things, but they felt very crucial to me. If I could leave a little piece of me behind everywhere I went, nobody would be able to forget me, right?

“Bye, Y/N!” The sudden chirping of my name combined with the greeting finally snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked up, a small smile forming on my lips as I waved at the leaving students. They weren’t my students per se, I was only an Art major, but I did view them as my little apprentices. They were ambitious and determined to learn everything they could, eager to contribute as much as they could. I appreciated their effort and felt glad that people like them existed, it gave me hope in humankind. Not that I had much with everything going on in the world, but I could only appreciate and admire those who found a little kindness in their hearts to share with others.

I finally felt like I was done with my drawing as I sat back, rolling my shoulders back and cracking my neck as the last few students left the room, leaving me alone with the approaching girl with a grin on her face. I turned my head and watched her as she giddily approached me, gripping her sketchbook to her chest.

“Wanna see?” She asked with a chuckle and I nodded with a smile, eyes falling on my best friend’s drawing. I instantly recognized the features of the older woman and I chuckled as I took in the smaller version of my best friend, grinning up at her mother as she held a little flower up to her. She never stopped amazing me with her beautiful creations, and I couldn’t help but clap for her briefly.

“This is gorgeous, Seulgi, I’m in love.” I said as I reached my hand out and lightly traced the leaves of the willow tree in the drawing, making my best friend grin happily. She had her hair down today, her black curls falling around her shoulders. Her hair has gotten long, but she didn’t want to cut it, said she liked it more like this. It did suit her and gave her a younger look; her colorful outfits complementing her personality and overall looks well.

“What did you draw?” She asked and I glanced over at my own drawing, sucking my lower lip between my teeth. I really shouldn’t have drawn him again, but doing so brought me comfort. It always did. Despite the heartbreak he left in his wake, Yunho was a person whom I have deeply loved and found shelter in once—my drawings of him only reflected that. I have anticipated Seulgi’s reaction as I took my sketchbook off from the drafting board, turning it around and letting her eyes rake over it as she sighed, giving me a slightly disappointed look as she placed one hand on her hip. I looked away and quickly closed my sketchbook, getting off the stool. My hips and back protested in pain as I stretched my arms overhead, letting out a groan when my stiff muscles strained and vertebras finally popped.

“I thought we agreed you would stop drawing Yunho…” Seulgi trailed off as she watched me start packing away my things into my dark green backpack. Oh, well, she certainly wasn’t wrong, but I got carried away today—I haven’t even realized I was drawing Yunho until I was done with the outline of his body.

“Uh, yeah,” I muttered slightly embarrassed as Seulgi shook her head and closed her own sketchbook, balancing on one leg as she unzipped her backpack and placed it against her thigh, “But we talked about the feeling of comfort today and a place or person whom makes you feel safe and—I got carried away, sorry.”

Seulgi gave me a sympathetic look as she had forced her sketchbook inside her backpack and lowered her leg, swinging her bag around her shoulders, “And you couldn’t have drawn you—mother? Or teddy bear from third grade?”

Her offhanded question made me chuckle as I looked at her amused, my backpack hanging off my shoulders as I only wore one strap.

“Mom would flip if I drew her and made even the smallest mistake. I’d rather avoid getting scolded about making her eyebrow darker than it actually is.” Seulgi and I shared a look before we both started giggling as I recalled the one and only time I drew my mother, swearing to never do it again as she found every single little detail wrong about her features, pointed them out to me, and then proceeded to ignore me for the next three days. Thinking back on it, it is a quite hilarious memory, but back in that moment she made me feel like I wasn’t good enough, talented enough, making me doubt my skills for a very long time. Until I met Seulgi and she started freaking out about my art, calling me phenomenal.

“Yeah, perhaps drawing your mom wouldn’t be the smartest, but seriously, Y/N, how long has it been?” Seulgi seemed to think for a second as we started for the door, “Five years? You certainly should be over Yunho by now.”

Hearing his name left a sour taste in my mouth even if it shouldn’t have. Despite the passing of years he somehow still made me feel bitter about everything that’s happened between us. I hate that feeling, but I couldn’t get rid of it and it was frustrating.

“I am over him.” I muttered as we left the art studio and I locked the door, making Seulgi hum next to me sounding not too convinced. I sighed and rolled my eyes as I pocketed the key, then we started walking down the empty hallway, headed for the exit.

“Do you have any plans tonight?” Seulgi decided to change the subject as she bounced on the balls of her feet, a huge grin appearing on her lips. I raised my eyebrows at her sudden excitement and thought for a second before I shook my head no. We turned the corner to the left, having arrived in the musical studies department. The hallway was littered with doors on both sides, which were studios for the music majors, private little rooms where they could record and write whatever songs they wanted.

“Cool,” Seulgi grinned and suddenly gripped my hand, her lips falling into a pout, eyes slightly widening. Oh, I knew what was coming next, yet her honey like tone still made me cringe, “Come with me to the Outlaw? Please?”

My eyebrows furrowed hearing the mentioned place. It was famous amongst our university’s students. It was a run down and cheap pub where degenerates gathered to have fun almost every night, drinking their night away, wasting their money and braincells on unimportant things.

“Why would I go there?”

“Because I’m asking?” Seulgi raised an eyebrow, “And because the Noir Zenith are playing tonight and I really want to go—”

“What is a Noir Zenith?” I asked confused, making Seulgi’s eyes widen to the point of bulging out. She looked funny as she let go of my hand and gasped as if I had sworn out her mother or someone she really cared about.

“It’s the coolest band from our university! Are you telling me you haven’t heard of them?” She asked outraged making me laugh, “I’m speechless.”

“Well, you know I don’t waste my time by drinking my sorrows away in a shitty pub surrounded by even shittier people who try to chase fame with scratchy and awful voices. Is the band made up by some music major students?”

“They do not have scratchy and awful voices, Y/N!” Seulgi looked outraged by this point, making me raise my eyebrows in surprise, “God, they are one of the best bands to ever exist—”

“Yeah, right,” I rolled my eyes as we entered the main hall of our university, “Go on and disregard all of the previous phenomenal bands to ever exist, nice one, Seulgi—wait, is this about Wooyoung? Didn’t you say he’s part of a band as well?”

At the mention of said boy all anger and incredulity disappeared from Seulgi’s face and she shrunk back, hiding her face behind her hair, “Yeah, he’s actually a vocalist of the band. Noir Zenith.”

“Oh,” Was all I could say as I watched her push her hair behind her ears, face almost as red as a tomato. I tried not to laugh at my best friend, her crush on the boy painfully obvious, “And I assume you want to go watch them perform tonight?”

Seulgi nodded wordlessly as she pushed open the double doors for us, “At Outlaw?”

She nodded again and I hummed, raking my brain for any plans I had made for tonight, but I found none. I had zero excuses to refuse Seulgi for so I glanced at her as we ascended the few stairs, licking my lips as I dwelled on the idea of being seen at such place. I mean, it couldn’t be that bad, right? After all, it was just a band singing from our university and I would be out of there the second they were done. That sounded pretty reasonable and alright to me, so I hummed, and smiled at Seulgi.

“What time?” Her eyes widened as she whipped her head towards me as we were headed to the bus station.

“Oh, my God!” She shrieked and flung herself at me, almost throwing us off balance, “You’re the best, I love you! Seven, you should be ready at six thirty, and I’ll pick you up and we’ll drive there together—oh, my God, I’m so excited! Wooyoung said they’ll be performing their newest song and he said it’s so fire! Mingi wrote the lyrics, and Wooyoung helped with the chorus, he actually showed me a snippet—do not tell Mingi that—and it was so good, oh, my God—I’m rambling, sorry, but you said yes and I just—”

Seulgi cut herself off with a shriek as she let go of me, leaving me partially deaf as her shrill voice rang through my right ear, making me wince. Of course, I wouldn’t tell Mingi, whoever that was.

“Alright, I’ll be done by six thirty.” I muttered as Seulgi skipped ahead, sitting on the bench by the bus stop, grinning from ear to ear as she took her phone out of her pocket, starting to type furiously. She was probably texting Wooyoung, but I couldn’t be too sure, they had periods when they would talk all day and night, and then periods when they would go radio silent for a week or so. Their relationship was interesting but Seulgi never talked too much about it, having once muttered that if she thought about Wooyoung for too long she’d fall for him—or something like that, I couldn’t be sure, Seulgi says a lot of things which she only half-heartedly means.

『Promises break, need to hear you say

"You're gonna keep it now"』

The pub was exactly like in the stories of others, and an exact replica of what I had in my mind. Which was bad, so being right here only made it worse as I allowed my eyes to travel to the ceiling, noticing all the uncovered pipes traveling above our heads. The lights were dim and there was almost like a light fog in the air, thankfully there weren’t any foul smells, like cigarettes or something else. The room was spacious, which was the only alright thing I could find about this place, as the walls were made of burgundy brick, a few falling out here and there. The dark wood floor seemed to be rotten in some places and I could only hiss as the front of my boots caught in an uneven plank, sending me slightly forward. Seulgi threw me an amused look before continuing her trot towards—I didn’t know where, but I decided to follow her blindly as I really wasn’t vibing with this place. Posters hung from the brick wall here and there and some graffiti covered it where the bar was. Chairs and tables were littered around the room, all looking quite old in age as I noticed one chair missing a leg, chuckling at the idea of someone toppling over once sitting on it. Seulgi gasped quite loudly and stopped walking for a second, making me crash into her back and throw her an unamused look as she swiftly turned around, lips pressed together and hands cupping her cheeks.

“Do I look alright, Y/N?” She blurted out, eyebrows furrowing, “Or am I too much? Do you think—did I totally miss the vibes with this outfit? I look ridiculous right now, don’t I—”

“No, Seulgi, you don’t.” I decided to cut off my best friend’s panicked rambling, placing my hands on her shoulders. I allowed my eyes to take in her outfit again and I smirked at her as we made eye contact. She was wearing black nylon bomber pants paired with fishnets which were peeking out above the waistband of her pants, her white crop top stopping at the middle of her torso. A black bomber jacket was thrown around her shoulders, matching her pants, and her white boots reached just underneath her knees. She had straightened her long hair and I helped her by making a smokey eye for her, accentuating the depth of her beautiful eyes, sharpening her stare. She looked absolutely gorgeous and I needed her to stop second guessing her outfit, “You look fucking hot and anyone in their right mind would want to devour you right now.”

“You included?” Seulgi flirted cheekily and I pretended to gag as I pushed her playfully away by her arms, making Seulgi laugh as she pushed her hair behind her shoulders, “Alright, I believe you.”

“Very well.” I grinned and allowed her to grip my elbow as the crowd was slightly denser here as we made our way towards the front of the room, headed to where the small stage was. I could see a drum set up on the dark stage, and suddenly I was veered to the left, almost getting whiplash by the force Seulgi pulled me after herself. I took in the people around me and decided that I definitely wasn’t part of this crowd, and it was showing. One, I was painfully sober and they weren’t; two, I certainly missed the point of this being a pub dominated by rock lovers, and my outfit had nothing to do with it. Against my better judgement, I have decided to wear a tight black skirt which barely reached the middle of my thighs, paired with high heel boots which reached my knees. A white tank top peeked through the burgundy long sleeved blouse I wore over it, having discarded my leather jacket in Seulgi’s car out of fear of losing it. All in all, the outfit was awesome, it’s just that it didn’t really match with the place in question I was at. I was slowly starting to regret coming here as we finally stopped walking and Seulgi’s hand, which brought comfort, disappeared from my elbow. I suddenly became aware that we have stopped by a table, and my best friend’s arms were around a guy’s shoulder as the two hugged each other—rather tightly, might I add. I allowed my eyes to fall on the guy and realized, only because Seulgi had shown me countless pictures of him, that it was Wooyoung. The only reason we were here, her crush. I tried to hide my snickering as they pulled away from each other and I have noticed Seulgi’s flushed cheeks, which was probably wise as Seulgi’s eyes were instantly on me, holding a warning in them.

“This is Y/N, my best friend.” She said sweetly as she lightly pushed Wooyoung towards me, “Y/N, this is Wooyoung the—vocalist and guitarist of Noir Zenith.”

“Cool name.” I muttered half-heartedly as Wooyoung extended his hand to shake, I was only speaking because I had to say something if I didn’t want to come off rude. A huge smile broke onto Wooyoung’s face at the praise of his band’s name and he eagerly shook my hand, making me force a smile onto my face when he held my hand for an unnecessary long time. The guy was just around my height and seemed to be buzzing with energy as he tapped his foot against the ground, sneaking glances towards Seulgi before finally facing her. His jawline was sharp and nose high as I took in his profile, his pretty eyes focused on my best friend. His hair was longer at the back and had two colors, black and blonde, it certainly didn’t look bad on him. He seemed to be the only one, besides myself, not dressed fitting for the place, and suddenly I didn’t feel as singled out as I had been moments prior, thankful for the light grey extremely baggy jeans littered with glitter he was wearing and for the grey and black faded out loose shirt hiding his frame. The front was slightly tucked in and a maroon belt held his pants to his hips, matching the color of his sneakers. The guy wore a few earrings and I just heard Seulgi complimenting them, making me chuckle. I knew she wanted to talk to him, so I didn’t bother them and instead looked around again, feeling slightly awkward, before I rested my gaze on the other two sitting at the table.

One guy was looking down at his phone, completely immersed by it as his long fingers were typing quickly, his wavy black hair falling into his eyes. He wore a very intricate white shirt, the material seemed to part at his shoulders and only covered his upper arm, cuffed and puffed out at his wrists, leaving the rest of his arms bare. A black corset like looking fabric was wrapped around his torso, stopping right below his chest and everything was neatly tucked inside black dress pants, an expensive silver chain hanging under the neckline of his shirt. The outfit was something I would’ve never thought of putting together, yet, it looked fabulous on the man and for a few seconds I found myself gawking at him. But I quickly caught myself and looked away awkwardly, hoping that nobody noticed my staring, instead, I found myself looking at the third guy, taking him in. His demeanor screamed confidence as he wore a smirk on his cherry red plush lips, jawline visibly sharp as his head was turned to the side, his nose tall and long. His tan skin glistened underneath the shitty lights of the pub, yet you were able to spot a few covered up blemishes around his jaw. His neck was heavily decorated with silver chains of various dimensions, a shinning silver pick dangling lower on his exposed chest as his black tank top was low cut and form fitting. The guy had a big midnight blue jacket over his frame and it had an interesting design, his jeans ripped at the knee and black like his tank top. Silver chain like bracelets wrapped around his wrists and I found my eyes drawn to his hands as he was pushing his glass from one hand to the other, fingers littered with smaller and bigger rings, the one with a red gem catching my eye. His nails seemed to have dirt scribbled over them, that is, until I looked harder and realized it was chapped black nail polish. I couldn’t deny how nice this guy looked and as I looked back up at his face, I found him looking back at me. My heart somersaulted but I played it off—hopefully my face really didn’t show any emotion—as I steeled my gaze and allowed blankness to settle over my features. His black hair was shorter and fell over his eyes, covering his forehead. The guy’s eyes were sharp and his gaze intimidating as his face remained unexpressive, features cold as he seized me up, suddenly the smirk back on his face. My eyes narrowed as the guy continued watching me smugly, and I just noticed the little something which looked like a smudge of something on his right cheekbone. Did he smudge dirt on it? Was he even aware that it was there? The possibility of him not knowing his perfect face was tainted brought a smirk on my lips and an eyebrow of the guy’s flew up, his gaze almost challenging as our stare down was abruptly stopped by a chair scraping backwards. My gaze went back to the very handsome man and I was surprised by the friendly gaze sent my way.

His features were soft yet sharp at the same time, his eyes big and warm as his lips were plump and looked soft. His skin was tan too and the highlighter reflected off his cheekbones, giving him an ethereal feel. There was a small piercing in his nose and I was slightly alarmed as he suddenly walked around the table, approaching my side. My body tensed and I glanced towards Seulgi, who was deep in conversation with Wooyoung. I assume these three must be friends since they were sitting at the same table.

“I’m Seonghwa, Wooyoung’s friend.” The guy finally spoke up, his voice was definitely softer than I expected it to be, and I reluctantly shook his extended hand.

“My name is Y/N.” I answered politely and retracted my hand from his as fast as I could. Seonghwa continued smiling as he looked towards Seulgi and his own friend, “Oh, uhm, I’m Seulgi’s best friend.”

“I figured,” He chuckled, scratching the back of his head. The aura this outfit gave him certainly didn’t match his current attitude, “Wooyoung mentioned Seulgi coming by and bringing her friend, it’s nice meeting you.”

“Oh, you too.” I offered him a lopsided grin and clasped my hands together in front of myself, Seonghwa’s demeanor not as off putting as most guy’s—or like the other guy’s who just stood up from the table and started approaching us. I watched him, eyes falling on him involuntarily as there was something about him which demanded attention as he came awfully close to Seonghwa and I, towering over the both of us. Seonghwa was a tall guy too, but this third guy’s height seemed to loom even over him, but I didn’t let that affect me in any way as I looked up at him with a bored expression.

“Found another little fan of ours?” I gulped at the hear of his voice, which somehow matched his face, it was deep and slightly raspy, however, the tone he used rubbed me the wrong way. My eyes narrowed at him and before Seonghwa could answer him, I fired an answer his way.

“A fan of yours?” I chuckled drily, “You certainly can’t be as self-centered as to think every female around a mile radius would instantly throw themselves at you, no?”

A beat of silence followed before Seonghwa started snickering, hiding his mouth by his hand as the other guy’s eyebrows furrowed. He didn’t look pleased by my question and he leaned down to be at the same height as me, gaze boring into mine. When his face was blank, his eyes seemed to get sharper and it somehow made my heartbeat pick up, but I ignored it. It was just the adrenaline, the annoyance, probably which threatened to seep through my bloodstream sooner than later.

“And who are you again?” The guy’s voice was quieter, dropped lower as he tried to belittle me with his stupid question, but I just rolled my eyes and crossed my arms in front of my chest.

“Don’t think I introduced myself to you before,” I snapped and the guy clicked his tongue, “Who are you, first of all?”

“You don’t know who I am?” His eyebrows suddenly furrowed as confusion washed over his face and for a second—but just that one little second—I thought the guy looked cute as his features softened.

“No, I don’t.” Him lowering himself allowed me to see whatever that was on his cheekbone better, and I could make out that it was some sort of logo, however, I have never seen it before, “And you have some dirt on your face.”

I pointed at my own cheekbone and Seonghwa’s sudden loud laughter alerted Seulgi and Wooyoung as they finally seemed to realize there were others around them, especially me, as Seulgi quickly stepped close and gripped my shoulder.

“That’s not dirt!” The man exclaimed and for someone with such a deep voice, his tone went incredibly high, “That’s my signature, bro.”

“Okay, bro, you’re self-centered, like I said—” Before I could really go off on this guy Seulgi gasped and laughed loudly, awkwardly, as I threw her a small glare.

“Aren’t you two hitting it off right the bat?!” She tried to diffuse the tension as Wooyoung chuckled, amused by the situation as Seonghwa was grinning too, “Y/N, this is Song Mingi, the bass player, singer, producer, lyricist, founder of Noir Zenith—be nice.”

The last part was only whispered to me and my eyebrows furrowed as I looked back at this guy, Mingi, who stood back up straight and threw a glare my way as I scoffed, shrugging my shoulders, “What a waste of talent on such personality.”

Seulgi’s eyes widened to saucers as Wooyoung inhaled loudly before breaking out into an ear-piercing laughter, making me wince, while Seonghwa had to cover his mouth again as he threw his head back and laughed.

“Y/N—that’s—” Seulgi stammered but I hushed her and smirked up at Mingi as he seemed lost for words for a second before his eyes hardened and he pulled his shoulders back, jaw clenching.

“What are you doing here if you don’t even fucking care about our band?” He hissed and for a second the viciousness in his tone took me off guard, but I didn’t let it show as I wrapped my arm around Seulgi’s shoulder and pulled her into my side. She looked mortified and tried speaking again, but I beat her to it—to my pleasure.

“My lovely friend, Seulgi, dragged me here because her and Wooyoung are friends, happy?” I felt Seulgi slightly relax in my grip, but she still subtly poked my side harshly, making me bite my lower lip to keep the groan of pain inside. Wooyoung had stopped laughing, thankfully, and was looking very amused as he punched Mingi’s arm weakly.

“I think you got a little bit humbled, dude.” He whispered loudly—probably on purpose—and Seonghwa giggled again as he quickly adjusted the front pieces of his hair.

“Why would anyone who doesn’t even listen to us come here?” Mingi muttered more to himself as he turned around and sauntered off towards the bar, throwing a glare every so often my way, making me giggle as I found it amusing. Poor dude, couldn’t handle a little humbling, but he definitely needs it.

“Y/N is a little bit—of a bitch—ow!” Seulgi hissed as she rubbed the spot on her arm where I had punched her, “You didn’t let me finish! She’s a bitch, but she’s my bestie and she doesn’t mean harm. I’m sure you guys will charm her by the end of the night.”

Charm me my ass. Maybe Seonghwa and Wooyoung, Mingi not—for sure. Not now or ever. Not that there will be another time and another chance for him to do so.

『It wasn't hard to realize love's the death of peace of mind

You're in the walls that I made with crosses and frames hanging upside down』

The music coming through the speakers shook the little pub as I sat at the table the three boys have claimed as theirs earlier. Seulgi was by my side, but she was standing up, and she was jumping to the beat, somehow knowing the lyrics to the band’s newest song. I had a feeling Wooyoung had shown her already everything, but she did ask me not to tell Mingi—to whom now I could associate a face—and I had no desire to speak to him ever again, so she really had nothing to worry about. I couldn’t help but admit that they were good—not that I would ever say that out loud, especially not to Mingi—as the rock music blasted from the stage, purple and white lights illuminating the boys. Mingi stood in the center as he gripped his microphone, face scrunched up and the veins on his neck straining as his raspy voice involuntarily covered my skin in goosebumps.

『For granted, in vain, I took everything I ever cared about』

My fingers were tapping the rhythm of song, chin placed on my palm as I rested my hand on the table, watching each boy with curiosity. They all seemed to have different personalities and styles, yet up on the stage, they blended together and they worked well. Their voices complimented each other, where’s Mingi’s was raspy and low and harsh, Seonghwa’s seemed to be lighter and raspier, but then Wooyoung would jump in and his was powerful and high, and yet it still felt like a soft caress of a whisper at times. Their outfits, despite being so different, also made them look exquisite and gave the band a special and unique touch. As I glanced around I noticed how taken everyone seemed by their music, hanging onto every note they played as Seonghwa played the drums at the left side of the stage and Wooyoung the guitar to Mingi’s right.

『I miss the way you say my name

The way you bend, the way you break』

Mingi was gripping his microphone as his eyes were closed and nose scrunched up, eyebrows furrowing as the words slipped through his lips smoothly, his raspy voice soft and tender, like a steady but soft caress of your cheek, the light flutter of your eyelashes as if he was right by your side, whispering the words to you, trying to seduce you.

『Your makeup running down your face

The way you fuck, the way you taste』

Suddenly his eyes flew open and he looked out onto the crowd, locking his gaze with mine. I was about to grab the glass of water and take a sip, but I froze as a smirk slipped onto his lips, mixing in with his voice and very obviously making him sound smug. My jaw clenched just as the people, especially the girls in the front row, started cheering loudly, enjoying Noir Zenith’s performance. I tried to convince myself that I was just imagining things, but I could’ve sworn Mingi’s gaze remained on me and only me, singing the words from deep withing his chest, all kinds of emotions and feelings plastered over his face as he took his microphone out of its stand and started walking around the stage, crouching down and pointing at the girls close to the stage.

『When the curtains call the time, will we both go home alive?

It wasn't hard to realize love's the death of peace of mind

When the curtains call the time, will we both be satisfied?

It wasn't hard to realize love's the death of peace of mind』

They played two more songs after their newest, the crowd going wild as they sang along and I could feel all those unslept nights catching up as my eyes threatened to shut closed at any given time. Seulgi noticed and grew concerned, but I reassured her that I was only tired and would head soon home if she didn’t mind. She insisted I wait at least until the boys finish their performance in order to not be seen rude as I have, probably, already offended them. Not that I would mind, even though Mingi is the only one who actually deserves it.

Once they got off the stage everyone was swarming around them, congratulating them and offering them drinks, and I watched as Seonghwa kindly turned down all of them, meanwhile Mingi carelessly accepted almost all as Wooyoung was pushing his way through the crowd, eager to get back to the table. His cheeks were flushed by the time he reached us and Seulgi sprung onto her feet and went to hug Wooyoung but suddenly paused, looking awkwardly at her feet, until Wooyoung went and pulled her into his embrace instead. Seulgi’s face lit up and she started animatedly talking, but I couldn’t hear as the crowd was loud. Seonghwa seemed to be nowhere as Mingi managed to make his way through the crowd and now was grinning smugly at me, one eyebrow crooked as I rolled my eyes, still not impressed at all by him. He said nothing as he sat down next to me and took a sip of his drink, eyes falling on me. I could see him staring at me from the corner of my eyes, but I ignored him, and instead reached for Seulgi’s jacket to get her car keys so that I could fetch my jacket before leaving. As I felt around her pocket I became aware of two people towering over me as they had stopped behind my chair. I turned my head around and raised my eyebrows at the two girls as they were giggling, waiting for Mingi to notice them. And when he did, that irritating smirk was back on his lips and he greeted the girls with a wide smile, biting his lower lip as they started praising him.

“Mingi you are so cool!” The brunette exclaimed, grinning at him, “I swear to God, this new outfit concept is so hot on you.”

If I could, I would’ve died from the second-hand embarrassment these two girls were giving me, but instead, I decided to stay just a for a little bit longer and see what nonsense they manage to sputter so that I can use it against Mingi later.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you singing so passionately like tonight, Mingi, the new song is so good I’m already obsessed with it.” The blonde chimed in fast, throwing a slight glare towards the brunette. I guess the friendship between them flies out the window the second they step closer to a relatively attractive male—not that Mingi is attractive or good looking.

“Ah, you two…you always know how to flatter me.” I possibly have thrown up a little bit in my mouth because of Mingi’s sultry voice and narrowed eyes—he partially looked like he was about to pass out and partially like he would inhale one of the girls, if not both.

“You so deserve it, Mingi!” The blonde quickly exclaimed and placed a hand on his bicep, “Who is your new song about?”

My breathing faltered for a second as Mingi glanced my way, but then I threw him a glare and rolled my eyes, realizing this was our first time meeting. Why did I even think for a little second that the song could’ve been about me? That sounded crazy, and now I felt crazy as I shook my head and downed the glass of water I have abandoned like half an hour ago.

“Someone who won’t leave your mind and makes you want to crawl up the wall, thoughts filled with them, desiring them like no one else before.” Mingi’s voice dropped a few octaves and I couldn’t help but look over as I smirked, abruptly standing up.

“Oh, girls, not to disappoint but he’s said that to like—three other girls before you two, and I don’t think that’s entirely what the song is about. Or maybe Seonghwa was talking about another song…” In fact, I have lied. Mingi hasn’t talked to anyone since he sat down to the table, but the lie was worth it, because the girls expressions dropped slightly, “You know men are usually more desperate to get laid than women, I suppose it makes them say all kinds of things, doesn’t it, Mingi?”

Mingi’s jaw clenched as the two girls looked unsure as they looked back at him, and he chose to laugh it off as if I have said the funniest joke on Earth, leaning slightly forward as he looked up at me, “I suppose someone wasn’t really paying attention tonight to our performance.”

“Right,” I hummed and stepped around my chair, “I prefer listening to real bands and good music, not to some wannabes wailing to a crowd of drunken and high as fuck university students—have a lovely night!”

I only caught the irritated huff of air Mingi let out as I headed towards the bar, where Seulgi and Wooyoung were talking to some people I didn’t know. I didn’t want to disturb them for long, but I had to tell Seulgi I was leaving and would get my jacket before going home.

『You come and go in waves

Leaving me in your wake』

By the time I have gotten home it was very late and despite my body feeling tired, my brain was relentlessly swirling with thoughts and replaying tonight’s happenings, so after fifteen minutes of laying in bed and staring up at the dark ceiling I realized sleep wouldn’t come easy neither tonight. I sat up and turned on the lamp on my bedside table and grabbed my smaller and thicker sketchbook, flipping it open to an empty page. I sighed as I grabbed a pencil and pressed it against the paper softly, letting my wrist curve whichever way it wanted as I started doodling, humming to myself a melody which sounded slightly foreign yet somehow familiar. I knew I have heard it before, probably recently, but I couldn’t figure out just which song it was.

『You come and go in waves

Swallowing everything』

It didn’t take me long to have the outline of something, which was starting to look an awful lot like eyes staring back at me, and I continued tracing lines and shading in the spots where depth needed to be added. I licked my lips and narrowed my eyes as I pressed the pencil harder against the paper, tightening the frail lines and finalizing the quick drawing of the eyes. I extended my arm and stared at the eyes, which almost felt like they were glaring at me by how sharp its stare was, and my eyebrows furrowed as I realized the eyes looked nothing like Yunho’s. I couldn’t remember the last time when I drew anyone else that wasn’t Yunho and for some reason that scared me as my eyes bore into my drawing, my humming coming to an abrupt stop when I realized who’s song it was. Noir Zenith. And the drawing, the sharp and glaring eyes, were of Song Mingi’s. I gasped and without a second thought started scrawling at the drawing, heart racing and mind an awfully lot quiet. What was I thinking singing his song and drawing his eyes? But there it was, the answer, I wasn’t thinking. And I was sleep deprived. I needed to sleep, like right now. I threw my sketchbook to the floor and jumped back underneath my blanket, pulling it over my head as I screwed my eyes shut. Sleep, I must.

『Are you satisfied?

Love's the death of peace of mind

Mine

Mine』

❱❱ Next chapter

157 notes · View notes

myvampyrez · 1 month

Note

Hello^ can I request Vergil and V with a Shy/Quite reader who is a bookworm?

Note: I really enjoy your writing it makes me happy that there is another fan writing for dmc : ) honestly you’ve inspired me to want to start but I gotta work on my writing a bit more. Anyways have a good Day/Night ✌︎('ω')✌︎

vergil and v with a quiet bookworm!reader 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

┊ ˚➶ notes ｡˚ 🎼

i’m glad to have been an inspiration for you, i wish you luck and happiness regardless if you do decide to go through with creating a writing blog or not—i’m sure your writing is amazing, my dear. feel free to request more at any time 🫶🫶

┊ ˚➶ warnings ｡˚ 🎼

mentions of v’s correlation to vergil in dmc5!! other than that, lmk if i missed anything ^-^!1!1!

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓥ERGIL — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ you and VERGIL go hand in hand with each other, often sitting in comfortable silences whilst you read books on different ends of the couch.

❥ sometimes he’ll let you lay your head on his lap as he reads, occasionally “reluctantly” reading aloud— even if you’re burning holes into him. you’re just admiring, he understands.

❥ vergil’s not very good with words, he’s often emotionally constipated and has trouble with comprehending emotions and vulnerability in fear that it makes him seem more.. human?

❥ just give him some time to accept his human half, he’ll come around to it eventually. it just takes some easing into.

❥ he doesn’t really show his love through words per se, taking more time to show it through his actions rather than verbally.

❥ he’ll drop a book on your desk once he gets home and you’re already asleep, knowing you’ll find it once you wake up looking for him in the morning. his job requires him to be very busy, but he always manages to bring you something back along the way.

❥ refuses to acknowledge it if you bring it up, though. vergil just hates admiring he’s gone soft, doesn’t he?

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

your eyes stayed glued to the small hardcover book that laid on your desk, fingers brushing over the engraving of the design as a gentle smile graced your face. your grin only widened when you spotted the small post-it note stuck onto the corner of the gift, vergil’s name written meticulously in blue pen standing out against the lined yellow.

and later when he came home, you had waited up for him. you lounged about on the couch while you watched tv, flashing him a smile once he had walked through the door and spotted you.

he cocked a brow at your beaming, his shoes being kicked off and neatly placed near the door in the process.

“i saw the book you left me today.” came your quiet voice, barely audible over the amount of censoring and yelling on the television.

vergil looked away. he knew that if he looked at you, he’d fall apart into your loving embrace once more and melt into your sweet, hushed whispers. he huffed, “think nothing of it.”

it didn’t matter how curt his response was, you knew better. you knew that was just his way of acknowledging it. and he definitely couldn’t help the smirk that fell upon his face at the sound of you pitter-pattering behind him as he adjourned to the room.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓥 — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ considering v is just another part of vergil, his situation is pretty similar to vergil’s.

❥ however, v is not shy or quiet by any means. while he doesn’t talk much, he just sits there. observing or maybe even reading on his own.

❥ v is pretty bold, though. he’ll somewhat tease you if you’re too shy to admit that you want his attention or something else of the sort.

❥ ugh i just wanna kiss that smirk of his so badly

❥ will also recommend you things, except he’ll actually.. talk to you? he’s definitely not afraid of talking with you and has no problem going up to you to start a conversation.

❥ likes to have you draped over his lap as he reads you poetry, as well. he finds it so romantic, like the gothic ass poet he is.

❥ somebody help i need to be confaindd and chained ip

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

“and to thy cares will lend no listening ear..” v’s velvet words cut through the silence as he read through a slew of sonnets with a soft tongue.

your lashes fluttered with every blink you took, each one heavier than the last as you attempted to stay awake. it took everything in your willpower not to fall asleep on your lover’s lap right then and there.

but just the thought of sleep sounded so sublime, you couldn’t help but indulge in yourself and your swirls of dreams. only v clouded your mind as you drifted in and out of his sleep, his voice slowly melting into the soft distant sounds of singing birds and the synthetic fabric of his pants crinkling against your ear whilst you tried to make yourself comfortable.

you took one last look at your surroundings, one last look at v. the sun had seeped in through the cheap blinds and illuminated him from behind as it caused a dark shadow to protrude from beyond your beloved. so to you, v looked absolutely ethereal.

one last look at his lips was all you took, watching as they moved so smoothly with every word that left his lips, “then let this comfort all thy woes wear..”

and as v finished the page, he looked back down at you. his brows raised at the sight. you, asleep on his lap? oh, what an interesting position you’ve gotten him in. whatever shall he do now?

his eyes crinkled with his soft smile, taking a moment to run his thumb along your cheekbone and caress the soft skin that lay there.

v closed the book, making sure to remember what page he left off on before setting it to the side and lolling his head back onto the soft pleather couch that resided in the van.

he made sure to keep one hand on your hair and the other rested on your hand, just in case nico decided to get careless with all the demons in the road. who could ever predict her reckless driving?

as v closed his eyes, he let out a deep sigh as left one last squeeze to your hand before getting some sleep. it would be a long journey to try and find the devil sword sparda, after all.

#devil may cry #devil may cry x reader #dmc fanfiction #devil may cry fanfiction #devil may cry vergil x reader #vergil sparda fanfiction #dmc vergil x reader #vergil sparda x reader #vergil dmc x reader #vergil sparda #dmc v x reader #v dmc x reader #vitale x reader #devil may cry headcanons #devil may cry v #devil may cry v x reader #devil may cry vergil #ODOTTIE *･῾ ᵎ⌇ ⁺◦ 💘 ✧.*#kiss kiss

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stardustsorbet · 8 months

Text

𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐍𝐄𝐔𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄 ― ♡

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ⁞ mentions of unrequited feelings, mentions of death and lost loves, kitsune!reader, there’s a little bit of poetry I lowkey pulled it out of my ass

“Escort me, my memory is a bit hazy,” she lied. She knew the path like the back of her hand, allowing her friend to take the lead. (Y/N) loved to tease him, the silver-haired judge, Neuvillette. He wasn’t gullible per se but sometimes oblivious to jokes.

He couldn’t help but feel his heart flutter, you really wanted to go back. To that lake where you spent your youth. When you were just a young kitsune and he a youthful dragon. His horns were so petite, and your tails were so small, yet soft. Where there was so much unresolved tension, unanswered questions he had.

“That lake holds many of my memories,” he spoke, trying to keep his words to a minimal, just small talk. With his arm hooked in hers, he couldn’t help himself from trying to appear to others as maybe being her lover. The press would sure milk this for all its worth, but he almost wanted that. Fontaine’s dearest kitsune, a sweet woman, and the cold Chief Justice.

“Wouldn’t you think it’s rather romantic to go somewhere like this, especially so late at night?” He whispered, leaning down so she could hear. His height was quite different compared to yours. A smile crept onto his lips; this was his way of flirting with you, and you knew that better than anyone.

“Aren’t you presumptuous?” A laugh escapes her lips, playfully shoving her friend, not enough to hurt him. “Just.. take me there, okay?”

The walk from where the two had dined to their lovely lake was not too far, and he could not pretend like he didn’t enjoy being with her in pure silence like this. It had been years since their falling out, but now? Things were so much different. They’d both grown, both changed in so many ways.

She took a seat in the rustic swing hooked onto a branch of a cypress tree, swinging gently as she gazed into the water. The pale moon reflected Neuvillette’s features so beautifully; she had forgotten just how beautiful he really was. She couldn’t help but notice in such an intimate moment like this.

He sat himself next to her, worried the swing wouldn’t be able to support them both, but alas, it did. It was rather old, much more used to supporting two young teenagers and every conversation they had. “You look most beautiful tonight. I’m not sure I told you that already.”

“Thank you.. and you look just as beautiful. This moon makes every feature of yours that much easier to see and therefore appreciate.”

“Hah, thank you, (Y/N). I wonder, do you still remember every moment we shared here just as I did?” He asked, gently taking her hand and placing a kiss on her knuckles.

“My kitsune mind betrays me.. you’ll have to remind me.” She knew he wanted to tell the story, but of course leave out his embarrassing moments. If she brought up how he’d fallen in the lake all those years ago after kicking a rock out of anger, he’d become a blushing mess.

“I remember how we’d enjoy the morning sunlight reflecting on the lake, hiding under the ripples of the water as the wind blew and storm clouds thundered. Things were so much different then… Do you still care for me as much as you did then?”

“Time decays the friendships between mortals, and though it has been centuries now since we’ve crossed paths, I feel like nothing has changed between us. I could reminisce in these moments forever and still hold the same comfort I’m bathing in now, despite all that has happened. If only time could pause, how kind would that be, Neuvillette?”

Her eyes were tired and emotional, every memory she had flowing through that bright mind she held.

“Pausing time, we could never find a way. But, I wouldn’t mind spending all my time with you, dearest (Y/N).” His eyes watched her so lovingly, his old friend. His friend he’d messed things up with so badly.

It was nice to sit in silence, your fingers intertwined. No romantic connotations, at least on your end, he just enjoyed being comforted like this. The touch of his warmth next to you made everything feel okay again.

“I remember I buried my book of poetry around here, I’d like to read you some of my writings.” He knew exactly what she meant, smiling at her. It didn’t take long for them to find the book with the leather cover, the dirt covered pages, and the writings of all (Y/N)’s feelings.

“Do read me some of your writings,” he spoke, helping her into the swing again, sitting beside her with admiration beaming from his blue eyes.

“Ahem… gosh, this is embarrassing, haha. Vintage clothes, antique catches. All the cracks and burns from matches. I love the imperfection of these things. Humanity, so precious, like diamond rings. Everything about you is so raw, so real. So unrealistic how you appeal to me.”

He smiled at her words, they were beautiful and vulnerable. With each word, he knew there was something in her heart when she wrote them down. “Who was this about?” He questioned. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

“A general. I fell in love with him. He died in the cataclysm.” Her breaths weren’t shaky, and her eyes weren’t full of tears. Enough time had passed now, it wasn’t something she dwelled on. “He was a very dear friend of mine.”

“Ah, I’m very sorry. I’m sure you were very dear to him, you’re so bright and beautiful.” He had a hard time comforting people, according to Navia (he’d taken that very personally).

“It’s okay, these things don’t haunt me anymore. I’ve moved on. I hope that lived up to your expectations. It was just my younger mind, all very real with her feelings.”

“Is there any more?” Neuvillette inquired, resting his chin on her shoulder as you flipped through the pages.

Flipping over the pages, scanning the words quickly, she found one she’d be okay sharing. “Beautiful, even when you’re wrong. You are like the static and crackle in lightning. Please, just give me time to leave. Your soul is old, but your thoughts are new. Your mind is bright, but your heart is blue.”

He listened to the way she wrote about this mysterious general, her heart was dedicated to this man. His mind wandered astray, wondering if maybe one day she could think of him like that. Alas, he was too shy to ask her something like that. He wasn’t as bold as he was when he was younger.

“Have you ever been in love with someone other than him?”

“Feelings are so complicated. They change, just like weather patterns. In our youth, things were different, but now… I’m too work oriented to care about romance anymore. I see it as just a distraction.”

Neuvillette understood that notion, and in a way almost felt similarly. It was hard to find time for your heart in a world like this, where they were both always so busy.

He fell quiet for a few moments. Perhaps the alcohol from dinner earlier had gotten to him, but there was so much he wanted to say now. “Could I ask something of you? It may be a bit invasive and awkward, so don’t be afraid to shut me up.”

With a nod of her head, she allowed him to continue. “Have you ever felt affectionate toward me?” His face was almost sad, nearly desperate. She knew her answer would break him, and it was awfully inconvenient she didn’t bring her umbrella.

“I know our feelings.. changed. You grew to prioritize your profession more.. And I respect that. But, I can’t help but wonder. Did you ever feel anything.. for me?”

“I… don’t know what I feel. Feelings are just so complicated to understand. I just don’t like dedication. I enjoy the feeling of freedom and independence, not being tied down by housewife work and kids running around!”

“I understand. I feel similarly. But, that’s not the key to a relationship, it’s the love you feel for one another.” He smiled, feeling her head against his shoulder.

“But the distractions become just that.. distracting. It’s hard to be close when there are things leading your attention astray.”

“It’s just additional effort, I suppose. But, it’s not for us all. That I can most certainly understand.”

Their hands were still intertwined, her peace sinking into him as well. She was quiet, breathing slowly against him. Letting him do all the talking was easier, especially on tired nights like these. “My thoughts are hard to understand, I’m sorry.”

She spoke after a long while, biting her lip almost uncomfortably. “I find it easier to not love then to love and lose it.” Her way of thinking was clearly damaged, but he’d wait. He’d done it this long, he would do it longer. Because, at the end of the day, when the moon went behind the lake, when the bugs lurked around the shoreline, the chief Justice was sure of one thing. Neuvillette was most definitely in love with his dear friend, (Y/N).

Sorry about the corny ass poetry I thought it would be nice to add. I’m embarrassed whjdsjdb

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seeingteacupsindragons · 7 months

Text

Thinking about Albert.

This is a little unusual for me; he’s not my preferred blorbo rotisserie. But here we are.

Mainly, I’m thinking about Albert’s role in the Moriarty family. Louis is very much the caretaker and keeper of the family—he has everything in order and makes sure everything is cleaned up and handled. William is the signpost and leader and guides everyone where to go (even post the Final Problem, when he’s not in charge per se—and yet it’s still him shining a light toward atonement for all of them). And Albert….? Eh?

His role pre-Final Problem was taking care of MI6 for William. He doesn’t do that afterward, of course, because Louis does, and Louis is does it better than him. He’s not a leader, he’s not a guide, and he’s not a keeper.

But I do think he functions as, well…a shield, of some kind. William is the more blatant one about trying to protect his family and friends from the consequences of…well, anything. But Albert is the one who is taking public flak for the family during the Final Problem and takes the public punishment. He’s the one who attended the House of Lords and handled social engagements. And he’s the one who emotionally supported William when William needed that so badly and didn’t know how to ask.

It’s a very Big Brother role. It feels sometimes like Louis does some of this protection, and it feels like William does, and that’s true. But Albert is not a guide, and he’s not a caretaker the way. He is solid and reliable despite all his seriously messed up mental issues and prevents anyone from getting in William’s way not by removing obstacles the way Louis might, but by making sure they are not there in the first place.

I don’t know that Albert really likes socializing or attention. But he does it, at least on some level, in some small ways, because he’s keeping the attention on him instead of William. Like I said, a shield. He’s taking the hits of socialization and flirting he doesn’t want so William and Louis don’t have to worry about that side of things.

As we go on into the future, I would like to see him continue to fill that role, as William and Louis have filled theirs in new and exciting ways. I think we could do this with Albert. But I’m not sure how it will play out.

He is very much an umbrella sheltering his brothers from rain, and that’s what he’s best at, and I don’t think this is ever quite as explicit as his brothers. But he’s good at it, and I’d like to see him figure out how to be a shield in a way that’s healthy for him, too. Because it’s not healthy to just keep taking all the hits. William’s learned that already.

It’s hard to clear obstacles out of everyone’s way ahead of time when you’re not a leader, and Albert’s not. But he can continue to be emotional support and borrowed resiliency, perhaps. He can continue to follow Louis’s lead and direction to clear obstacles alongside them, perhaps.

Maybe that’s what I want from them. William to shine a spotlight and Louis to lead the way there and Albert to make it happen. Louis is good at plans, and he can implement them, but Albert’s always been a fair hand at implementation himself. He did that masquerade ball, and he arranged MI6 and he executed plans around Whitley. He’s good at that.

Anyway, that’s Al thoughts, I suppose. Food for the Al stans?

#Yuukoku no Moriarty #Moriarty the Patriot #Albert James Moriarty

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ephedrathirsts · 1 year

Text

Teach me

Synopsis: Your best friend asks you to take his virginity. As the both of you spend more time intimately together you are forced to acknowledge your feelings for one another.

Contains: idiots in love trope, friends to lovers trope, lovers in denial, one-bed trope, crack and sarcasm, mutual pining, eventual smut, fluff, afab reader, eventual angst, anger issues

Pairings: Hunter Sylvester! x afab! reader

Word count: 4100

Parts: I, II

You were preparing for bed, cleaning off the makeup you had put on for hours, feeling a little embarrassed. You had been stood up. It wasn’t the end of the world but it was a little humiliating. You shaved for absolutely nothing, put on a matching pair of bra and panties, wore one of your favorite gowns. You didn’t ' have game' per se but you weren’t doing bad either. At least you thought you weren’t.

You decided to stop your playlist and embrace defeat as you heard the sound of rustling leaves and the stomping of boots on the side of your house. That wouldn’t have been him, right? He knew your parents were out of town. There was no reason to go through all this trouble. That’s when a silhouette showed more clearly.

You freaked out, got to your feet, and locked the window, trying to come up with the most elaborate escape plan on the face of the planet but falling short as your panic clouded your judgment.

"Let me in, please. I think I scrapped my knee pretty badly." a familiar voice came through.

You were on edge still, shaking in place as you slowly dragged your arm to open the window.

Hunter came in with a swift motion, panting heavily, with a manic look on his face. As he collected his breath, he finally saw your expression- you seemed furious, steam coming out the top of your head. You were throwing mental darts, aimed at the boy and shaking your hands furiously.

"What the hell are you doing here?! In the middle of the night, unannounced! I thought I was going to get murdered."

"I knew you weren’t going to be asleep so I thought this time was as good as any… wait… are you expecting someone?" his gaze drifted off to your tight-fitting slip dress.

All of a sudden, he noticed the mood lighting and he remembered not seeing your father’s car parked outside. He felt a little uneasy now but he tried his best not to show it. Maybe him coming to you was a terrible idea after all.

"Nope.. it’s just me… no one's coming…" you squeaked, not wanting to share more of the story.

"Ok, good, because I need a favor and I know that this may sound weird and it might make things awkward between us but I trust you so I think you.." you interrupt his nervous spiel with a concerned look on your face.

"Are you not going to apologize first? You know, for scarring me to death." You replied through gritted teeth.

"Yes! Of course, how inconsiderate of me. I truly am sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, but it’s an emergency. You are the only one I trust with this. I can’t just not try, the thought of it will haunt me for months on end and I really need this…"

"Wow, dude, slow down for a minute. You didn't have any of the funny juice again, right? Don’t tell me I have to pee in a cup. I’m not doing it."

"That was a one-time thing! An honest mistake, if you must know!" He said defensively- "I would never do that willingly.’"

"Sure thing, buddy." You replied with a smug smile on your face.

"What was so important it warranted you climbing up my window during the witching hour?" You said playfully, trying to calm him down.

"So... I've been thinking a lot about the future and how we have less than a year of high school left and... You know I'm high in demand and everything but.." He blabbered on.

"It's ok, I can help you pick out a collage. I am the wisest out of your friends after all. You can trust me, buddy." You declared knowingly

"No, fuck that. I'm not going to college." He brushed it off.

"Nope, you definitely are!" You demanded.

"No, not a chance that's happening." He replied, sounding a little distracted.

"Ok, we will continue this conversation later. You are going, by the way, but let's not get sidetracked. Tell me what's on your mind."

Hunter started blushing for a minute, uncertain of how to express himself.

"You know how last year you and Kevin were making fun of me for being a virgin.." he explained hastily.

"Yeah, I'm so sorry for that. It was funny as fuck but there is no shame in being a virgin. I mean, I was one up until five months ago." You confessed.

Hunter's cheeks became even rosier, embarrassment written on his face.

"The thing is… I still am one.." He blurted out

"Oh? So do you need me to hook you up with someone? I guess I could make a good wingwoman, I can look around, do a little research." You got all serious and concentrated, lost in thought.

"Puff, no. I'm the singer of a semi-successful metal band and like I previously mentioned I am high in demand." Hunter grinned proudly.

"Ok then, I don't understand the issue."

"Look, when I do decide to pursue any of my many.. and I mean many groupies.."

"Uhuh.." You dozed, rolling your eyes at him.

"I want to be certain of what I'm doing. I have a reputation to uphold. I'm not a washed-up indie singer or something. I am supposed to be a master in the arts of sex.." He rambled.

"Ok, I'm losing you. Stop stretching out the conversation and get to your actual point." You chirped a little annoyed.

"I want you to teach me." He spat out.

"You want me to take your virginity?" You asked a bit taken aback.

"Nope, I want you to teach me. You know how when you practice something, you get better at it? I have been playing the guitar for years and that's how I built upon my skill." He explained, hoping you were paying attention and reading carefully between the lines.

"I don't catch your drift."

Hunter's face dropped. Guess he had to spell it out for you.

"I don't want you to take my virginity and then never do it again. I won't learn anything from just one lesson. I need a proper course. Maybe like a month-long or something. I'm willing to do whatever you want if you agree. And if you don't and try to tell anyone about this interaction, I will deny everything I said up until this point so it will be your word against mine and..."

"Ok, ok mister 'Law and order'. Slow your horses. I'm not going to tell anyone."

A rush of relief washed over Hunter's face.

"So basically you want me to have sex with you in the pursuit of learning..?"

"Yup, exactly."

"Like scheduled, strictly mechanical. Just so you learn the woodwork?" You said a bit confused.

"No, of course not. What's the point in that? In real life, people don't show up and have sex out of nowhere. This isn't porn. I want to do the entire thing right- foreplay, intensity, passion, mood lighting, music, etc. I'm not about to half-ass it." He said confidently.

"And why do you want to do it with me?"

"I know you, I trust you and you are pleasing to the eye. That way I won't feel so weird or embarrassed."

" 'Pleasing to the eye', don't be busting out the compliments just yet, you don't want to make me all flustered and shit." You said sarcastically.

"Ok, I'm sorry. That sounded douche-y. What I meant to say is you’re hot and you are basically the only person that matches my energy."

"Yeah.. that sounds wayy less douche-y," You replied, unamused.

"I'm sorry, I'm having a pretty hard time here. If you think of a more appropriate way of phrasing it, please do let me know." Hunter retorted a bit defensively.

"This is such a bad idea, dude. It can go off the rails, you know."

"Can't you help a desperate friend out? Please, I really need this." Hunter pleaded, looking like a sad puppy.

You had to think for a second. This was such a bad idea. For one it could ruin the friendship, make things between you two uncomfortable, but you could see the strained expression on his face. You couldn’t just leave him hanging. Maybe he was going to back down, change his mind if you were to actually agree, so against your better judgment you went along with it.

"God, good thing I feel bad for you after this pathetic pitch you tried to sell me. Guess I'm not as wise.. uh.. sure I will do it, but I have to warn you that I do have some ground rules, some extremely important 'Do's' and 'Don't's'..."

Hunter got all excited and giddy after hearing you that he cut you off mid-sentence. "You will do it! Fuck yeah, thank youu! You are truly the best!" He said and then quickly kissed your cheek.

"I will be considerate of your 'Do's' and 'Don't's' and make sure to make you feel as comfortable as possible." He said matter of factly while saluting you and climbing back out of your window.

"I'm already regretting this." You croaked out to yourself.

Hunter was sitting on your bed, propped up on his elbows with a notebook in front of him and a pen sticking out of his mouth while you were going on your merry rant.

"Don't overdo it with the dirty talk. Don't name any of my body parts. Don't give me a nickname. Don't call me 'mommy' and don't expect me to call you 'daddy', I'm not into it. Don't grab my neck out of nowhere. You can't just go around choking me unannounced!" You scolded.

"So if I announce myself I can choke you?" Hunter's eyebrows raised playfully.

"We'll see about that.. Don't call me a 'good girl' or whatever. It makes me feel weird. Don't tear any of my clothes, I'm pretty attached to them. Don't touch my feet. Ass area is off-limits! I'm not kidding, don't slap it, care about it, try to put something up it, don't even acknowledge its existence!"

Hunter scribbled something in his notebook, highlighted it, and mouthed "no ass".

"Is this all? Or are there more 'Don't's'?"

"I guess there are but they will come up with time depending on the situation. Communication is key after all."

"Ok, what are the 'Do's' then?"

"A lot of attention on the neck, hips, and thigh areas. Reciprocal scratching is encouraged. The same applies to light hair pulling, biting, and slapping at times..."

"Wait, slapping?" Hunter got a little alarmed.

"I'm a very passionate person. I'm not only passive-aggressive. I can also be actively aggressive and sex is a productive way to channel it, ya know." You answered coyly

Hunter wrote down "Surprisingly both a sadist and a masochist."

"I like attention, I like eye contact, I like feeling like a gem. Like I'm God-sent or something. I know how it sounds but I'm being honest, it turns me on. That probably has something to do with my self-esteem issues.. well yet another thing to bring up with my therapist" you drifted off.

"The fact you like to be validated during sex?" Hunter chuckled.

"Yeah.. maybe.. maybe not." You said after sifting the thought through your brain.

"I can be mean during sex, by the way, sometimes I can get nasty." You warned.

"Only during sex?" Hunter teased and you hit his shoulder.

"Oh yeah, teasing is a must! I both hate it and love it so much. Banter is extremely erotic when done right and it has to be incorporated."

Hunter circled "probably has anger issues and gets her panties wet by arguing"

"That's kind of a mischaracterization of what I said but yeah, sure.."

"It's ok, I have anger issues too. I get you, girl." He put his hand on your shoulder while mock empathizing with you.

"Don't ever say that again."

"Ok, putting it in the 'Don't's' section right after the ass stuff." He said all knowingly.

"Oh God, how am I supposed to keep going when you’re not taking anything seriously and acting like such a little brat?"

"Don't get all worked up now babe, we haven't even taken our clothes off." Hunter coughed out and winked at you.

You went on without paying him much attention.

"I also like to take things slow. But that mostly happens when I have developed feelings for the person. Wanting to be in the moment with them."

"So you were the one half-assing sex?"

"Wait, what? I beg your pardon!" You screeched, offended at his suggestion.

"It is all about being in the moment. If it isn't clicking you simply don't go through with it. But sex is all about some basic type of connection between people. It's not only about feelings, it's about respect, it's about dignity. Getting to know someone more intimately, not only for your pleasure." Hunter explained all focused and mentor-like.

"If you know all of this already, what do you need me for?"

"You can't just go around the world with knowing stuff you can’t put to use," Hunter answered like he had thought about it for a long time.

You were quite impressed with him. You had known him for a very long time and you were already aware he wasn't showing everything there was to him to others. Yes, he could be impulsive and childlike, a pain in the ass, and a cocky son of a bitch but he was always strangely emotionally Intelligent at times, and that surprised you. Guess therapy was working for him, huh?

"So, is that the end of our lesson for today?"

"I think so. It's good that the two of us learned some new information today." You smiled, feeling proud of your student.

"Yeah, I now know not to call you 'mommy'. It's information that will shape me for the years to come." He said sarcastically.

"Oh, shut up asshole. You asked for this, remember?" You retorted

"And you were the one that strongly encourages teasing, weren't you." He whispered huskily as he leveled with your face and kissed you, slowly and tentatively. Your cheeks flushed with shock. He opened his eyes to look at you and chuckled softly.

"May I kiss you again?" He pleaded. Your breath caught in your throat. You did agree to this, yes, but there was still some disbelief there.

"He'll probably drop it. He doesn't mean it seriously. It won't come to anything physical, I'm sure of it..." you had already convinced yourself.

You didn't expect anything to actually... Well, happen. But he was only asking for a kiss and he looked like such a sad little puppy, there was no denying him.

"Yes.." you gulped. "You may kiss me." You nervously shift your gaze from his eyes to his lips.

As if he was reading your mind he replied: "Don't worry, I'm anxious too."

And then it was all silence as he closed the distance between you, his lips gently caressing yours. He was holding you tight- one hand on the small of your back and the other on your cheek as he slowly deepened the kiss. He was hesitant with his movements but was trying to impress you. With his tongue fully in your mouth, engulfing you steadily. Savoring every little bit, every time you brushed your fingers through his hair, every time you pressed your palms against his chest or tickled the sides of his face with your fingertips.

He held you like you were made of porcelain, not because he was afraid of you breaking but of you changing your mind, your touch being too infectious to let go of.

Both of you parted to catch your breath and Hunter smiled at you sheepishly, held up your arm to his face, and planted a quick peck on the back of it.

"That was quite the kiss."

"Yeah.. it definitely was." You agreed, flustered, gazing into his eyes.

You were sitting on Hunter's bed, trying your best to focus on doing your homework while Skullflower was practicing. They were getting pretty good, their sound coming off as more refined and confident. Hunter had worked hard on their debut album to the point that even the demos of their songs were professional.

He was very serious when it came to his craft. You could see it now- how particular he was about the acoustics, how much emotion he put in while he sang, and how concentrated he was while strumming on his guitar. He was truly in his element while playing and you could see all of this passion radiating from him. He was in the zone, huffing, and sweating, looking down at the strings and plucking them one by one with his fingers.

Your body tensed at the sight, his long hair swishing, complementing the sharpness and edges of his face. And his eyes looked so.. uh... so... what were you thinking about?! Snap out of it! You were doing homework; you weren't drooling over your best friend. That's nonsense!

You were so focused on expelling all of the non-platonic thoughts out of your head that you barely even noticed that the band had stopped playing and Kevin and Emily were nowhere to be seen.

"Are you done with your homework?" Hunter asked while putting away his guitar.

"Yeah, you could say so. I made a lot of progress." You answered embarrassedly.

"That's good, hard work should be rewarded," Hunter whispered as he started coming close to you.

"Yeah. I should treat myself to desert or something." You fidgeted with your fingers and avoided his gaze.

"I was thinking of something more along the lines of this." He was in front of you now, grabbing your cheeks with both of his hands and kissing you passionately. He then broke away and started gently stroking your hair and playing with the ends.

"You looked pretty all concentrated and serious." He confessed. "But I think it's time for you to take a little break and relax."

"I'm not that tired." You gulped impulsively.

"Good, me neither." He put his hands on your waist and kissed you again so drawn out that it made you weak. It took everything out of you not to whimper at the feeling. If you were none the wiser you would have confused the feeling in your stomach for butterflies, but there was no way Hunter could be causing such a reaction. Definitely not.

"Do you want to hang out, watch a movie, or something?" He suggested nervously.

"Yea-yeah... Sure..."

"Oh wait, I know what you need!" He whispered and wiggled his eyebrows.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, what was he going to do? That was too much. Your heart was racing and you could feel how increasingly anxious you were getting.

As your mind was spiraling, he put on TLC and turned to you.

"Pick your poison. I'm gonna order junk food and we can make fun of whatever show you want " You melted. He knew you so well. Just because you were swapping DNA samples with each other now didn't mean he didn't remember how it was before. He got you.

Hunter could sense you were a little tense and he didn't want to put you off. He wanted you to remember what your relationship was all about- you two goofing off, being idiots, being assholes to others and to each other sometimes but still carrying deep care and understanding for one another.

"That sounds amazing, but it's getting kind of late. I need to go home." You whispered, regret washing over you.

"You can stay over, you know? It's not a school night and for some bizarre reason, your parents are chill with me. Come on captain Crunch, please stay." He looked a little desperate and sad. He wanted you here. He needed you to stay.

"One time I choke on cereal and have it come out of my nose and I never get to hear the end of it, huh?" You answered, acting as if you were upset. "But yeah, ok, I will stay over."

Come to think of it maybe that was exactly what you needed- to remind yourself of what your relationship with Hunter was so you stopped acting as if you had a crush on him, because one thing was for certain- you didn't, nope.

The two of you ate pizza as you laughed at the terrible attempts at flirting made by some poor soul on 90-day fiancé.

"Don't worry about it, beautiful. When we get together, I will buy you an ass." Ok, not such a poor soul after all.

"Boo, who the fuck would actually say that?" You screamed at the TV.

"She is only in on it because she wants to get a green card, you can't get too mad at the guy," Hunter explained.

"Are you defending him?!" You replied dumbfounded by his words.

"No, fuck no. The dude is a total tool." Hunter snickered.

"Good, I was getting worried for a second there."

Hunter held up one of his hands to his chest and declared: "Don't worry sweetheart, I would never even dare to mention your ass." He laughed and you laughed as well, punching his shoulder lightly.

"Oh, fuck off." You spat out, still unable to stop yourself from giggling."I think it's time I call it a night. I'm pretty tired. Toss me one of your tees and some sheets so I can make the sofa..." Hunter interrupted you.

"What are you saying, you're sleeping with me. I can’t have you sleeping on the sofa. We have done this so many times before, there's plenty of space for the both of us."

"I know.. but it hasn’t happened in such a long time." The nerves were returning and a flush was creeping up your cheeks.

"Yeah, that’s true. But you are aware of how comfortable my bed is." He reminded

You could share a bed with him. I mean it was just Hunter. Good old Hunter- your FRIEND. Nothing more, nothing else. What was the point of making a fuss?

"Fine, just give me something to wear, please." You said trying to sound a bit annoyed at the situation.

Hunter gave you one of his band tees. You went to the bathroom to put it on, your toothbrush still being there from previous sleepovers. But was this a sleepover? What if he tried to do something? What if you tried to do something yourself? No, that was nonsense! Why would you, it's not like you desperately wanted to. You can behave yourself!

You came out of the bathroom wearing only his T-shirt and a pair of underwear.

"I know how you like to sleep on the left side but my phone is charging on the bedside table and I'll need to switch the do not disturb mode on at some point so..." He froze as you came into view, looking extremely casual and comfy with your hair down and his shirt adorning your body, ending just at the beginning of your thighs.

"Yeah, that's ok" you whispered.

Was he blushing? He couldn't be, right? There was no way you could make him this shy.

You climbed into bed with him. He also had a shirt on and you couldn’t tell whether he was wearing anything underneath but as your leg unintentionally brushed over his you knew for a fact, he was also only wearing his boxers.

"I'm sorry," you said coyly.

"It's alright." He replied.

To the both of your surprise, you put your hands on his face, pulling him towards you, and kissed him gently. He was so shocked he had his eyes open for a bit, but as the initial feeling warn off, he wrapped around you with both of his arms and held your chest close to his as his tongue slowly came into your mouth. Your legs were tangling between his, and without even thinking of it your grip landed on his shoulders as you tried kissing him harder, more passionately.

You broke away to catch your breaths, with your head laying on his chest. He caressed your hair and planted a kiss on the top of your head while lacing his fingers through yours. Your heart was racing and you could hear his was too. You liked it, how comfortable you felt in his embrace. How well you fit around him.

You reached up to lightly stroke his face and kiss his cheek. "Goodnight, Hunter’’, you put his hand on your waist and turned on your side, making him spoon you.

"Goodnight." He whispered tentatively into your ear.

#metal lords #metal lords hunter sylvester #metal lords fanficition #metal lords smut #hunter sylvester #hunter sylvester fanficition #hunter sylvester smut #hunter sylvester x reader #hunter sylvester x reader smut #hunter sylvester x afab reader #hunter sylvester x afab reader smut #hunter sylvester imagine #kevin schlieb

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vivalas-vega · 1 year

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new perspectives / part four / jake ‘hangman’ seresin

y’all this one is a doozy... I cried three separate times while writing it. I apologize in advance :( as always let me know what you think and if you want to be added to the taglist!

new perspectives / part four / jake ‘hangman’ seresin x reader

add yourself to my taglist

prologue - one - two - three

word count: 6.8k

warnings: language, drinking, angst !!!, this chapter is basically an episode of grey’s anatomy (which means lots of medical inaccuracies and lots of drama)

San Diego had thoroughly and completely captured your heart, you now spent your days during the mindless surgeries thinking back to the cloudless skies, relaxed people, and beautiful beaches… along with just a few people who made it so much better. That day after your first Hard Deck outing had consisted of hitting the touristy areas on your own during the morning, sitting on the beach exactly when the Daggers had told you to so you could very briefly see them in the air, and going out to their favorite food truck before you inevitably had to return back to Boston and when you did you felt yourself itching to head back west. You did what Jake had asked of you and (theoretically) kept your options open… you’d been quite the jetsetter this month as you visited hospitals in Seattle, Los Angeles, Austin and New Orleans and they were all just as interested in you as San Diego but they just couldn’t match what they were willing to invest in you and so you’d made your choice.

Jake had kept up his end of the promise and let you make the decision, but he didn’t seem as enthusiastic about it as you had hoped. It wasn’t that he was disappointed per se but it wasn’t the response you’d been banking on… you got that response from everyone else though, and Rooster and Phoenix had been incredible in helping you with your impending cross-country move. You’d sent them to house showings and spent countless hours on facetime as they walked you through house after house until all three of you unanimously decided on a beautiful Spanish revival home right in Coronado. Sure, it was a fixer upper and would require a lot of love and a lot of elbow grease but you saw the potential and all the Dagger’s had easily offered up their services to help you bring your vision to life.

Blake had been surprisingly great throughout the whole thing, you’d expected (and were kind of hoping) for him to cut and run when you’d told him your decision but he stayed… he’d looked through listings with you, helped you pack up your apartment and make several Goodwill runs, and even organized a going away party after your last official surgery at the bar near the hospital with all of your friends and favorite attendings. You really were expecting things to fizzle out once you told him you were moving but they didn’t, and as many times as you tried to tell him he didn’t have to stick around he was more than content to do so… you knew he saw a future with you but he also knew that you didn’t, and he was okay with that. He was content to just be in your bubble until he couldn’t, and no matter how badly you felt about hurting him he didn’t seem to mind.

Standing there in your empty apartment and overlooking the hospital from your bedroom window you were reminded of when you and Jake stood in exactly this spot all those years ago… so much had happened since then. You really truly became a doctor, you studied for and passed your intern exam, you completed your first solo surgery, you and your fellow residents just about went insane prepping for the boards. You learned who you were out here, and for that you would always love the city of Boston but you wouldn’t necessarily miss the accents or that faint smell of the harbor that seemed to waft for blocks.

“Hey, I’m glad I caught you,” you heard Blake say, turning to see him cautiously entering through your open front door and you gave him a small smile.

“Just taking a moment before I head to the airport,” you said and he nodded, closing the distance between you with a thin black box in his hand that you were terrified was a necklace or a bracelet.

“A little going away present,” he said and you took it carefully.

“You’ve already done so much, you really didn’t have to get me anything,” you said as you opened the lid and let out a soft gasp… it was a beautiful black and gold Montblanc pen with Dr. Jupiter engraved along the side and you looked at him with wide eyes. “Blake…”

“Congratulations, you’re truly an incredible doctor and I would have been remiss if I let this moment pass by without properly celebrating it.” he said as you wrapped your arms around him and your phone dinged as you pulled away letting you know your car was here… he seemed to understand as you looked up at him and nodded, reaching around you to grab your carryon. “Come on, I’ll walk you down.”

“Thank you… for the pen and for just sticking around these last few weeks,” you said as you strolled through your lobby.

“Thank you for letting me,” he said, closing you into the car and you looked through the open window at him for a moment before grabbing him by the collar and pulling him down to meet your lips for a chaste kiss. You had briefly wished that you could envision a life here with him, he was sweet and predictable and stable, but you couldn’t... this wasn’t your story or your life, you had a new life awaiting you in San Diego.

“You’re a really great guy, Blake. I’m sorry I couldn’t be what you needed,” you said and he just smiled.

“Don’t be. Now get out of here, go be extraordinary and don’t forget sunscreen… I look forward to reading your groundbreaking papers in the medical journals,” he said, tapping on the hood of the car to signal your driver and you gave him a soft wave as he faded into the distance.

“You’re here!” Phoenix had squealed as you climbed out of Jake’s truck in front of your new home and she all but tackled you to the ground in a hug that soon all the Dagger’s had joined in on. They led you inside and gave you a tour because frankly… they knew it a lot better than you did and you laughed as you saw paint swatches along a living room wall and looked at Jake questioningly.

“She threatened to shoot me out of the sky if I didn’t give her the keys after I picked them up,” he said, gesturing to Phoenix.

“We have to hit the ground running! I picked some colors based on the inspiration photos you sent,” she said, walking you through each one and definitely not being unbiased as she did.

“I don’t mind, I’m clearly going to need all the help I can get.” you said, and after a tequila shot toast to the new place they all started to leave one by one to give you some time to settle in and rest after your long day. Before Rooster had left he showed you to the rather exquisite temporary bedding situation he’d set up for you, saying something about the best air mattress on the market and if you ruin my camping supplies I’ll kill you and just as you and Phoenix were wrestling to open a champagne bottle for mimosas and your first official remodeling planning session Jake came into the kitchen and took you by surprise.

“Well, you two ladies enjoy your planning session, I’ll see you tomorrow when the movers arrive, yeah?” he said, moving towards the door and you and Phoenix shared a look before you chased after him and caught him on the front porch.

“You’re not staying?” you asked and he shook his head. “Come on, we can’t break a time honored Jake and Jupiter tradition, we’re supposed to get drunk and order takeout and have a sleepover in the new place.”

“It’ll be good for you two to spend some one on one time together… go, get champagne drunk and plan out the house. I’ll be here when the moving truck gets here,” he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead and you watched as he got in his car and drove away. With a sigh you walked through the front door and grabbed a red solo cup full of champagne from Phoenix.

“What’s his deal?” she asked, taking a sip and looking at you over the rim of her own cup.

You sighed dramatically, “he thinks I made the decision to move here solely because of him and he’s being a real sourpuss about it.”

“Isn’t this supposed to be a good thing? You guys have been fighting an uphill battle for years with the distance and the careers… you guys are solid now, you’re a fellow, he’s got a permanent station. I thought you guys would be putting rings on it and making babies by now,” she joked.

“At the very least practicing making babies…” you said despondently and she raised an eyebrow at you. “It’s… been a hot minute and I just… god, every time I look at him I want to climb him like a tree.”

“Disgusting,” she muttered and you narrowed her eyes at her, “sorry, for two minutes I will pretend there is a world in which I can find Hangman sexually appealing,” she said, clearing her throat. “I hear you, girlfriend. I too would like to climb him like a tree,” she said and you just laughed as you grabbed the champagne bottle and walked down the hallway to your bedroom where the two of you settled onto the air mattress. “Just make a move, I doubt he’d object, he was staring at your ass the entire time we were doing the toast.”

You chuckled, “I don’t know, it’s just a little weird… I mean, we’ve talked about us before, lots of tortured pining stuff and wondering if we’d ever get a shot again and now we have one and it feels awkward. What am I supposed to do, just plant one on him then boom we’re back together?”

“If you wanna speed things along you could flirt with Rooster,” she said and you gave her a look that said be for real, right now. “I’m serious! Those two are good now, what with the whole saving your life seconds before you got blown to smithereens thing, but there’s still some deep-seated competition there, spark it and I guarantee you’ll get your hot hot Hangman sex,” you just shook your head, playfully shoving her shoulder before grabbing your laptop.

“That feels mean to Roo, caught him staring at my ass too,” you laughed, “if things were different though I would like to take that mustache for a ride…” you said, watching as she gagged.

“Stop being a horndog about my coworkers and pull up the spreadsheet,” she said, and the two of you spent the evening switching between Excel and Pinterest, making detailed plans for each room of the house and figuring out what order you wanted to go in. You briefly thought to yourself that Phoenix had a backup career in interior design if she ever grew tired of the pilot life but you knew that was about as likely as you ever putting your scalpel down. When the rest of the squad showed up the following morning, much too vibrant and loud for the state of your hangovers, you got the house unpacked in record time and by the time the sun was setting and casting a beautiful orange glow through your windows you had something that sort of resembled a home… if you looked past the terrible carpeting that needed to be removed and the questionable paint colors the previous owners had chosen. But that was all fine, this house was yours… really truly yours and you could do whatever you wanted with it because it was going to be your home for a very long time.

Work was everything you’d hoped it would be, your colleagues were amazing and they happily showed you how things worked… you had a few habits to break from your time at Mass Gen and they were more than understanding of the adjustment period you required but the biggest adjustment was getting used to not having to check in with an attending every time you wanted to rush someone off for surgery. Sure, as a fellow you still required supervision but they trusted you. After one week of a tight leash they realized you were more than capable of handling things on your own and when you weren’t in your office working closely with the Head of Trauma on your pilot program you were running the ER, something you could just feel in your bones was what you were meant to do. You thrived on the high pressure situations, on taking charge and dictating patient care and quickly you became the favorite superior to the residents and interns. You took the extra step to teach them, and you threw them into the deep end time after time which in turn made them better doctors and better equipped to handle patients.

One of the interns had joked and said you should be called Venus instead of Jupiter… something about being harsh and volatile but you took it as a compliment. Your new Chief had concerns about your method of teaching, said that things weren’t as cutthroat here as they were in Boston but he saw an immediate improvement in the interns. They were logging more OR hours and working great under pressure, something they had struggled with before you arrived and you felt satisfied to know you had so easily slipped into your new hospital's ecosystem and were making it better while they made you better.

Things were still distant with Jake, and you honestly felt like you were still across the country as you maintained your friendship… you hadn’t been expecting to jump in his arms the second your plane touched down for a romcom worthy reunion but you had at least expected something to happen by now. You’d been here for almost two months and nothing. You’d wanted to corner him, have a conversation about where you guys were at but there was never an opportunity with both of your schedules and all of the free time you did have was being spent with the rest of the Daggers who couldn’t take a hint because they honestly assumed the two of you had gotten back together and were just being respectful of PDA in their presence.

“How about another duet?” Rooster asked, leaning on the table you were currently sitting at and encroaching your personal space as he wiggled his eyebrows at you and you just shook your head.

“It’s going to take about five more tequila shots before that happens, Roo,” you said and he was off to the bar as you shouted after him, “that wasn’t an invitation!”

“You shouldn’t have humored him that night,” Phoenix said with a laugh, “he could never rope anyone in before and now you’ve set a precedent for yourself.”

“Any cool cases today, Jupiter?” Fanboy asked, snagging the seat next to you and you gave him a wide smile. You loved having him around, whereas everyone else listened to you talk about work because you were their friend and they cared, they weren’t the biggest fans of the gory details, but not Fanboy. He wanted you to tell him everything in great detail, he said you were like a real life superhero and you would take him stroking your ego any day of the week if it meant you got to brag about your cool surgeries.

“Actually yes,” you said, rolling your eyes at Rooster as he set a tequila shot in front of you, but you took it anyway. “We had two patients come in today stuck together… take a guess at how they were stuck.”

“Oh god, superglue?”

You shook your head, “I wish, and honestly so did they. His uh… prince albert hooked onto her IUD during intercourse,” you said and he burst out laughing.

“I’m sorry, what?” Rooster said, and you turned to realize everyone had been listening in.

You nodded, “weirdest x-ray of my life. Wasn’t surgical which was a bummer but I basically acted as their post-coitus cruise director while I watched the imaging and navigated them out.”

“Every time I talk to you I have something new to fear,” Coyote said and you turned to narrow your eyes at him.

“And why would this be something for you to fear? Got some jewelry below the belt, Coyote?” you asked and everyone snickered while he stammered and said no before walking to the bar with his tail between his legs.

“Need a new opponent?” you asked, approaching the pool table as Jake reset and he gave you a small smile as he nodded.

“Could never say no to you, just don’t whine to me when you lose,” he said, passing you a cue and you scoffed.

“You forget who’s dad taught you how to play,” you shot back, giving him a smirk before he let you break. You went back and forth, keeping the game pretty even as you both tried to come out on top and you faltered when you felt your phone ringing in your back pocket, pulling it out to see an incoming call from Jake’s father. You looked up at him as he was surveying the table for his next shot and passed your pool cue to Rooster, “take over for me? I’ll be right back.”

“John? What’s going on?” you answered as you stepped out onto the patio, you were close with Jake’s parents and always had been, but they never called you outside of the time you scheduled every other week to catch up.

“Hey JJ,” he said, and you smiled at the nickname of your nickname he’d given you. “Are you with Jake?”

“Yeah, but I stepped away… is everything okay?” You could feel yourself starting to grow anxious and you tried to tamp it down.

“It’s Mary…” he said and your heart stopped in your chest before taking off in a dead sprint, “it’s uh… well, it’s not good, JJ, and we need you.” He filled you in on everything that had happened, after a few months of horrible migraines their county hospital had finally ordered a head CT which revealed a brain tumor and you could feel anger radiating throughout you. If someone had shown up in your ER several times complaining of persistent headaches the first thing you would have done was order a CT, but that was something for you to deal with later. “The doctors here… they’ve got a pretty good plan but, well we know you’re not a neurosurgeon but didn’t you spend some time in that department as a resident?”

“I did, about two years with Dr. Adams, he was the Head of Neuro… tell her doctors you want digital copies of all of her imaging and send them over to me, I’ll look them over. Jake doesn’t know, does he?” you asked, looking through the window and watching as he laughed with Rooster.

“No… I’m sorry to put all of this on your plate, JJ… we know how busy you are, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it, and well… you’re a doctor, you know how to tell people things like this.” he said and you understood, though you didn’t necessarily agree. You knew how to tell people things like this, not Jake.

“I’ll tell him and we’ll be on the first flight out, okay? I’ll look over the scans as soon as you send them and I’ll talk with her doctors, we’ll figure this out.” you said before hanging up and you took a moment to yourself to feel your feelings before going in there and shattering Jake’s world. This moment was all you got, you knew what John and Mary were asking of you. They could never keep up with you anytime you talked about work, hell Mary had called you one day to have you help her pick the right cold medicine (when she really needed allergy medicine). This wasn’t their strong suit, and that was okay, but this was different than colds or allergies. You knew they were throwing big words at them and overwhelming them with medical information they weren’t equipped to decipher, and you knew they were asking you to step in to make it all make sense and make decisions on their behalf.

This moment was all you got to feel devastated by the news, to mourn the fact that Mary, someone you considered to be your other mother, was going through something as awful as this. She was who you turned to when you didn’t feel comfortable going to your own mom… she was there when you walked into her bedroom with Jake’s sweater wrapped around your waist asking her what you’re supposed to do about periods, and she was there when you lost your virginity to a boy who didn’t really give a damn about you (or not getting you pregnant) and you needed someone to take you to get the morning after pill. She held your hand tight when Jake shared the news of his acceptance into the Academy and she bought you the stethoscope you still wore around your neck when you graduated from med school. You took a deep breath, straightened your back and wiped your tears. If John and Mary needed you to be a doctor for them right now, then that’s what you would do. You would make sure that she received the best care she possibly could, because that’s what she deserved.

“Jake?” you asked, stepping up to the pool table and he brushed you off for a moment, saying something about securing his win against you and Rooster and you waited, ignoring the way Phoenix and Coyote were looking at you right now. They could tell you had been crying, and they could feel by the energy radiating off of you that something was wrong, and Jake knew it too the second he turned around.

“What is it?”

“You should, uh… you should come with me,” you said, trying to pull him somewhere private but as he looked down at you, his Jupiter who was always so brave and calm in the face of everything, he couldn’t wait another second and you sighed. “I just got off the phone with your dad, your mom has been diagnosed and admitted for a brain tumor, we need to go home.” you said, trying to keep it brief and factual but you knew that wouldn’t help as his face fell. You turned to Coyote who was eagerly awaiting for you to tell him how he could help. “I need you to take him home, get a bag packed. I’m going to call Maverick and my boss, get all of that sorted, and get us booked on the next flight out. I'll be there to get him as soon as we’re ready to go.” you said and he nodded. You wrapped your arms around Jake and whispered in his ear, “it’s going to be okay, I promise.” You kissed his cheek and nodded to Coyote and you felt tears well in your eyes as you watched them go.

“Sit down, take a second,” Bob said, pulling out a chair for you and you let your body be moved by him, you didn’t feel like you were really here, this felt like it was a really bad dream. You felt a hand on your knee and you looked up to see Rooster in front of you.

“Don’t worry about Maverick, I’ll call him and let him know, okay?” he said and you nodded, whispering a thank you as he stepped away.

“What can I do?” Phoenix asked and you nodded to your purse on the table.

“Take my wallet, use the blue card… get us booked on the next flight to Austin?” you asked and she was already on the move. You snapped back to reality and pulled out your phone, calling your Chief and letting him know you needed some personal time and he granted you as much as you needed, and told you he’d have your neurosurgeon on standby if you felt you needed to transfer her. You felt like everything was moving in a blur, you thanked everyone as you grabbed your stuff and left the bar, telling them you’d give them an update when you could and you didn’t even remember what you’d packed, you just knew you’d thrown some stuff in a bag before you parked your car at Jake’s and you don’t think you’d ever experienced silence so suffocating as Coyote drove you to the airport. Jake hadn’t said a word since you’d told him and you couldn’t blame him, you couldn’t really find what to say either and you almost didn’t hear him on the plane when he’d muttered, “I don’t know what to do.”

Your head snapped towards him and you rested a hand on his knee, “you don’t have to do anything. Don’t worry about the medical stuff, I’ll take care of it all… just be there for her,” you said and he nodded softly. “I’m sure she’ll feel a lot better when she sees this handsome face,” you said, resting a hand on his cheek briefly and he cracked a smile. It was small but it was there, and you’d take it. “As soon as we land I’m going to talk with her doctors, figure out what the plan is and we’ll go from there. My Head of Neuro has her scans and is looking them over, and once I figure out what they’re recommending I’m going to talk with Dr. Adams and get his opinion. We’ll transfer her to San Diego or Mass Gen if we have to, but I have a good feeling about this.”

“The golf ball.” he said, and you cocked your head in confusion. “That day I called you in the bar you told me about the golf ball tumor you and Dr. Adams removed, you said you shouldn’t have been able to and you did.”

You nodded, “we did, and hers is a lot smaller… The only concern here is the location.” you said and he nodded.

When you touched down in Austin and made the drive out to the county hospital you did exactly what you said you would. You pulled her doctors into a conference room and went over every inch of her case after Mary gave them permission to loop you in on her care. For two hours you argued, you felt like you were going against a brick wall and the weight resting on your shoulders felt unbearable but you would bear it if it meant it wasn’t on John and Mary… they had sacrificed so much for you and Jake, and Jake… you felt bad leaving him out of this, you were acutely aware of the way he was pacing just outside the door, looking through the small window every so often to try and gauge what was going on but he didn’t need to hear any of this. He didn’t need to hear you call her doctors incompetent, he didn’t need to hear you yell at them over how long it took to order a head CT, he didn’t need to hear you call her tumor complex and smart, and he didn’t need to hear you walk them through how it could be removed.

“With all due respect, you’re a trauma surgeon, not a neurosurgeon, and we’ve elected to follow a course of chemotherapy and radiation,” her doctor, Dr. Franks said and you just rolled your eyes.

“With all due respect, I studied for two years under the Head of Neuro at Mass Gen which as far as I’m concerned makes me a hell of a lot more qualified than you, and you haven’t elected to do anything. The patient has withheld consent on any further treatment until I provide my opinion and in my professional opinion this tumor can be removed,” you argued and he shook his head. You were growing frustrated and you checked your watch, confirming the time in Boston and you dialed Dr. Adams and set your phone on the table as it rang. “Dr. Adams, sorry to cut to the chase but did you receive the scans I sent you?”

“Yes, this tumor is encroaching on Broca’s Area and I don’t like the growth I’m seeing between last week's scan and this week’s, is the patient exhibiting symptoms?”

“None beyond headaches, but we don’t have a lot of time before she does.” You could tell the other doctors in the room were annoyed, and frankly you would be too if a doctor that didn’t work in your hospital barged in guns blazing and criticizing your every move on a case but you also knew that beneath the annoyance you would understand.

“I agree, my main concern here with surgery is damaging the area and impacting her ability to speak but I do think that’s the best way to move forward here.”

“Dr. Franks, would you like to fill Dr. Adams in on your recommended course of treatment?” you asked, gesturing to him as if to say the floor is yours.

“Given the proximity to Broca’s Area we have decided chemotherapy and radiation is the best option for this patient,” he said and you rolled your eyes.

“That’s all you're suggesting? Chemo and radiation will give her maybe another year, and it’ll be the worst year of her life. Jupiter, my recommendation here is to transfer her to UCSD, Dr. Lewis will do it. I’ll make the call for you,” he said and you thanked him as you hung up.

“I’m going to go speak with the patient, but as far as I’m concerned you should start processing her discharge.”

“You can’t just storm in here and order a transfer,” Dr. Franks protested and you scoffed.

“I can when you’re giving your patient a death sentence, process the discharge.” you said, storming out of the room and nearly colliding with Jake.

“J, talk to me. What’s going on?” he asked as you were already halfway down the hallway.

“We’re transferring her to UCSD, I have to go speak with the patient and get her-”

“The patient?” Jake asked in disbelief and you softened, turning back to face him.

“I’m sorry,” you said, placing your hands on his cheeks, “I’m sorry, that was… I just have to refer to her that way right now, your parents want me in charge here and if I’m going to act in her best interest I need to approach this as a doctor.”

He removed your hands from his face but kept a tight grip on them and you could see that he didn’t understand, “that’s not the patient, Jupiter, that’s my mom.” he said, voice breaking.

“I know. Jake, I know who it is, and you don’t have to understand but right now this is about her and what she needs, and she’s asked for me to handle this… I’m sorry, but I do need to go update her on what’s going on,” you said, giving him a pleading look and when you could see it was no use you turned and walked down the hallway towards her room.

“Hey Mary, how are you feeling?” you asked and she gave you a bright smile as you briefly looked over her chart again to read her latest vitals.

“Better now that the two of you are here,” she said, and you looked to the doorway to see Jake leaning against the frame as you sat on the edge of her bed.

“You were gone a long time, what’s the verdict?” John asked.

“We’re setting up a transfer to UCSD,” you said and her eyes widened, “this is not a reflection upon your team here,” it definitely was, “however your tumor is a little more complex than this hospital is used to seeing and I want you getting the best of the best. I think it says a lot about you that even your tumor is wicked smart, which means you need a wicked smart surgeon to take it out and that would be Dr. Lewis, he was actually mentored by my mentor in Boston from that minute I wanted to be a neurosurgeon.” you said and she smiled softly.

“So he’s good?” she asked.

“One of the best, hell I’d even let him cut my head open,” you joked and you smiled when she laughed. “I’m going to check in with my boss in San Diego and see how we’re doing on that transfer, okay?” you asked and she nodded as you made your way to the door.

“Jupiter?” she called, and you stopped as you stood next to Jake and you didn’t miss the way he took a step back, “thank you… for taking care of this. I know how busy you are and I know you must be pulling a lot of strings for me-”

“You hush, Mary.” you said, feeling tears prick at your eyes. “You’re family. Nothing is more important right now,” you said, giving her another smile as you left the room. You felt just slightly reassured at how your colleagues, past and present, were making this as much of a priority to them as it was to you, and you thanked your Chief about a dozen times when he let you know he was sending the hospital’s plane for you and it’d be arriving in a few hours.

“Hey, that plane is designated for medical emergencies and this qualifies. I’m not doing you any favors,” he said and you chuckled.

“You are and you know it, I’ll see you soon.” you said as you hung up and you gave Jake a smile as he approached that wasn’t reciprocated.

“She’s resting… dad went to grab their stuff from the house,” he said and you nodded.

“They’re processing the discharge, we’ll be out of here as soon as the plane gets here,” you said as you sat in one of the waiting room chairs and he followed.

“I’m scared, J,” he said and you turned to fully face him as you pulled his hands into your lap.

“I know, I am too… but we’ve got this, okay? Dr. Lewis is great, I haven’t had a chance to speak with him yet and go through the approach but we’ll make a plan as soon as we land and he’s had a chance to meet with her-”

“Got it.” he said, standing abruptly, “I’m going to go sit with her while we wait.” You let out a sigh and hung your head in your hands for a moment before pulling out your phone and dialing your own mom.

“Sweetheart? It’s early, is everything okay?” she answered and you felt a wave of emotion crash over you.

“Mom…” you started, voice breaking. “I’m home,” you said.

“Home? What do you mean, where are you?” you could already hear her shouting to your father and the jingle of keys in the background.

“I’m at the county hospital with Jake’s family, it’s Mary… I need-” you said, but cut yourself off as your throat grew thick.

“We’ll be there in ten minutes,” she said before disconnecting and you quickly made your way down to the lobby, not wanting to be near his family right now. You paced back and forth, damn near wearing a hole in the tile, and when you heard the hiss of the automatic doors opening and saw your parents for the first time in almost six months you nearly collapsed.

“Oh honey,” your mom said, both of them running over and wrapping themselves around you, sandwiching you between them as you let yourself break.

“Shh, it’s okay, baby,” your dad said as you tried to tell them what was going on. “Just take a deep breath,” he said, pulling away to wipe your tears. You felt like a little kid again, like you were six years old as you wept in your dad’s arms.

“I just… I know I do this every day, I make life and death decisions for people all the time but this is… I mean if we’re wrong? If we’re just a bunch of cocky surgeons playing god and this doesn’t go the way we think it will? I promised them, I broke the one golden rule of medicine and I made promises to people,” you said, succumbing to another wave of tears. “And I can’t do this,” you said, trying to pull yourself together. “I can’t do this up there. Jake’s mad at me because he doesn’t understand why I’m acting like a doctor right now but this… I can’t break down like this because they asked me to be a doctor, I’m supposed to handle this.”

“You’re handling it the best you can,” your mom said, rubbing her hands along your arms soothingly.

“You’re in your pajamas,” you said, letting out a watery laugh. “I woke you, I’m sorry,” you said and your mom let out a soft laugh.

“We were actually watching Jeopardy, did you know they put that on Netflix?” she asked and you laughed again.

“Besides, I don’t care what time it is. You need us, you call,” your dad said and you nodded, leading them to the elevators and telling them they should stop in before you left.

“You’re leaving?” your mom asked as the doors closed.

“Taking her to UCSD,” you answered, “this right here is why I’m working on that rural health program… this could have gone so much smoother, she could have been diagnosed weeks ago.” you said with a sigh, and when the doors opened and Jake turned from looking through the glass window to his mothers room to see the three of you, his face twisting in pain as he looked at your father, you knew he felt like he was a little kid again too. Your dad was down the hall in an instant, wrapping his arms around him as Jake fell apart. What Jake’s mom was to you, your father was to him… he was there for Jake when he couldn’t go to his own dad.

You all sat around Mary’s bed, laughing and catching up, enjoying the fact that the six of you were all in the same place for the first time in years despite the circumstances, and you were currently in a fit of hysterics as you discovered both of your parents had joined a bowling league to fill their time.

“We’re empty nesters! Leave us alone,” Mary protested as you and Jake laughed.

“Do you have matching shoes?” you asked, and you took their silence as a yes. You all said your goodbyes as you prepared to head to the airstrip, and you watched as your parents spoke with his quietly. You were glad they had each other, remained close even when they didn’t have the two of you to force them into each other’s lives. It always helped knowing that while you and Jake were busy saving lives and saving the world, too preoccupied to make it home for every birthday or holiday, they had each other to lean on. As you sat next to Jake’s mom on the plane, not missing the way Jake wasn’t making eye contact as he sat with his father, you felt her nudge your shoulder.

“He’ll get over it,” she said and you gave her a questioning look. “We put a hell of a problem on your plate… and for that I’m sorry, but it’s easier for him to be mad at you right now.”

You nodded, “I know. I want to say I’m used to it because in a way I am… patient’s family members treat me like the enemy all the time… but, I’m not used to him treating me this way.” you said sadly, “but you do not get to be sorry for this. I would have put this on my plate even if you hadn’t asked,” you said, turning to look at her.

“I know. That’s just who you are, Jupiter… you take the brunt of everyone else’s problems so they don’t have to deal with it. John and I are so proud of the woman you’ve become,” she said and you felt tears prick at your eyes. “But right now you need to get some sleep, stop worrying about the problems for now.”

You shook your head, “that’s okay, I’m fine… I was going to go over your case a little more before we land so I’m ready for my meeting with Dr. Lewis,” you said and she just shook her head, pushing the arm rest out of the way and lifting her arm for you.

“Come on, get some rest. You’ve been taking care of me since before you got here, just… let me take care of you for a little while, okay?” she said and you nodded as you curled into her side and you felt like a blanket of security had been wrapped around you when you did. The exhaustion hit you like a freight train, you were realizing now that you hadn’t slept in over a day and as sleep tugged at the edges of your mind you did your best to set aside everything that was going wrong and just trust that it would all work out.

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#jake hangman seresin #jake hangman seresin fan fiction #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin x you #jake seresin #jake seresin fan fiction #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin x you #hangman #hangman fan fiction #hangman x reader #hangman x you #top gun maverick #top gun fan fiction

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pedriscroquettes · 9 months

Note

something fluffy with gio reyna? 🤧🫨

𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐑 – GIO REYNA

warnings. fluff, mentions of hockey (lots of them), scally!reader, angst, mentions of dead relatives, grief if you squint, and a very dramatic gio

summary. dyeing your brother’s and his best friend’s hair leads to suppressed feelings the both of you are ready to let out.

a/n. get him some toner omds!!!

“am i more of a sandy blonde or platinum blonde?” he looked at you seriously, completely depending on your answer.

“look, the two of you agreed to dye your hair and the color every other athlete uses for playoffs is platinums. so, unless y’all want to look dumb in front of a sold out stadium take the platinum.” gio just shook his head and your brother simply agreed.

americans didn’t have culture per se but they had tradition and one of those included teenage boys dyeing their hair an awful shade of blonde during playoffs for their respective sports. hockey boys did it all the time although they tended to lack toner. and now that you looked around the hotel bathroom you realized the boys sitting in front of you also forgot to get some.

“it’s so great that you both ended up professional athletes.” you sighed as you took the dye out of the box.

“hey, i had good grades and even took ap classes. if i’ve lost intelligence it’s a hundred percent because this dumbass has infiltrated his way into our lives.” joe completely threw his best friend under the bus.

“gee thanks. this is why your sister is the better scally sibling. she’s mean but not harsh.” gio scoffed as he placed the towel around his neck.

“i’ve always been the better sibling.” you reply as you grab the vaseline you bought from the bag.

“okay, joe close your eyes.” you instruct your brother and you’re lucky he’s always been the obedient child.

you carefully apply the vaseline along his hairline, behind his ears, and the area around his neck. you’re careful to avoid his mouth or eyes. you’re too focused on not wanting to cause your brother any discomfort you don’t catch gio’s stare. he’s looking at you with so much fervor. he’s always loved the way you don’t hesitate to help your brother out no matter how stupid he’s being. or the way you’d always bring something to his family’s estate in new york because you insisted on never showing up empty handed. oh, how badly he wanted to be joe right now.

“okay, starboy you’re next.” you stand in front of your brothers teammate.

“starboy? you never call me anything like that.” your brother whines.

“oh, sorry didn’t know our family was also involved in a huge scandal because the fans were mad you didn’t play.” you scoff.

gio can’t help but laugh at your joke. if it had been anyone else he’d probably be more than annoyed but for some reason he found it funny coming from you. after all you knew his family and you didn’t care about the rumors or the allegations. you’d claimed to him so many times that you would never speak ill of them on purpose because his family treated you as kin.

“come on, close your eyes.” you urged him.

it was never easy being in close proximity with gio. his bleu de chanel perfume that he probably started using since he was fifteen always found a way to make you nervous. you’d never come to terms with your feelings for the u.s. national always thinking you only felt so giddy around him because you’d never been so close to another boy. but, now that you have had your own share of flings and relationships you realized maybe there was something more. obviously you never acted on those said feelings in respect of your brother’s friendship with him.

not that your brother dictated who you could or couldn’t date but you knew that if you tried anything it could go one way or another. gio’s slow breathing somehow stops you from overthinking. the american boy loves the feeling of your fingers brushing through his hairline and behind his neck. he could get used the feeling. he imagines your hands on his neck after he wins the nations league because one thing he knew for sure is that he would win it.

he almost whines at the loss of contact due to you grabbing the gloves from the kit. the last thing you wanted was remnants of joe and gio’s stupidity all over your palms. you leave the bathroom again this time in search of a bowl to mix the dye unaware of the conversation occurring between your brother and gio.

“so, when are you going to tell her?” joe looked at the borussia player seriously.

“i was thinking about it. maybe after we win would be nice?” he tries to say but instead it comes out half a question.

“right. and if we don’t win?” joe almost whispers the question as if not to jinx them.

“we will.” gio sends him a smirk. “it’s just what if she- fuck it’s going to be all weird. my mom loves her and so does my dad. i can’t afford to lose her friendship.”

“well, we’ve already established that i’m not a problem. i’m always around the two of you all the time so i’m not worried about losing you. it’s just a matter of you confessing to her as corny as that sounds. i don’t know how my sister feels and i may never know if you don’t make a move. just make sure that there won’t be too many mini gio’s because i also have a professional career myself and won’t be able to babysit all the time.” joe laughs.

“babysit who?” you ask as you walk in with a bowl of the mixed dye products.

“uhm, zimmerman’s kids. yeah he brought them to las vegas and was asking around to see if anyone would take care of them while he took his wife out.” joe easily lies.

“okay, well who’s going first?” you ask as the two boys in front of you start rethinking this spontaneous decision.

an hour later you’re waiting patiently as the two of them take turns rinsing their hair. you already know it’s bound to be a disaster because of the lack of toner and the way the boys couldn’t keep still as you applied the product to their hair. for a second you thought you’d make their hair fall off. as the shower turned off you waited anxiously to see the final result. they’d either be the most talked about because it ended out good or bad. as the door opened you couldn’t help but bite your lip at anticipation.

“oh my god. you look exactly like the hockey kids from st. mary’s during playoffs.” you gasped.

“i’ll be sure to send trevor a selfie and add what you said.” gio talked about one of his friends who happened to play professionally in the sport mentioned.

“it’s not bad. it’s kind of-”

“nice?” joe asked

“cool?” gio chimes in.

“i was going to say cunty but yeah sure.” you stood up getting closer to them to analyze your work. you were sort of proud of yourself considering you lacked toner.

“cunty?” the two of them asked in unison.

“yeah, never mind y’all don’t get it so it’s not cunty anymore.” you sighed.

“oh, fuck. christian is coming over i got to go clean my room. i’ll see you both at the stadium later.” your brother suddenly stands up and heads out the room but not before winking at his friend. a wink you somehow don’t see.

“since when does he care about what people think about him? cleaning his room? he must have a crush on pulisic.” you scoff at your brother’s antics.

“do you have a crush on christian?” gio doesn’t mean to sound nosy nor interrogative.

“he’s not ugly but i don’t have a crush on him, no. plus it seems he’s already stolen my brother’s heart.” you chuckle quietly.

“will you be at the final?” he asks.

“why? you don’t want me there? i thought we were friends.” you whine playing with him.

“no, i- i do. i just- it’s just.” he pauses. “i don’t want you there as my friend.”

“oh? did i do something i don’t understand?” you look confused. what did he mean by that?

“no! i mean that- well i’ve known you since i was like an early teen. you’ve been with me through everything hell you were even with me in qatar. you helped me when i thought it was over for me. you were also there to comfort me when we lost the league. i just think that what i feel for you is more than just a platonic feeling. every time i see you it’s like my day can’t get any better. you’re constantly there making me feel better but you’re only there as a friend.” he starts.

“i want you to be there for me as a girlfriend a partner. i don’t just want to lean on your shoulder i want to leave kisses around your neck. fuck. i don’t know if you feel the same or if i over shared but i felt that if i didn’t say this to you all sooner i would die.” he finally stops.

“gio.” you face him. the boy you’ve loved for years. “your friendship with my brother wouldn’t be affected because of this?”

the only thing gio disliked about you was how selfless you were. specifically in moments like these.

“i told him how i felt and he said he’s no one to dictate how we feel. although, he’s worried about third wheeling that is if you like me. if not then this will definitely be awkward.” the two of you laugh.

“well, my dear nepo baby fortunately for you i find you very appealing. i’m not sure if i’m ready to be your girlfriend just yet or anything but i’m willing to give us a chance.” you say.

“how about wearing my jersey to the game tomorrow?” he suggests.

“now, wait a minute. i’m still a scally and as long as my brother represents this country i will be wearing our name thank you very much. but if you win we could possibly think of something else.” you state adamantly.

“so, i only get something if i win?” he questions.

“obviously.” you roll your eyes playfully.

“fine. if we win the competition you’ll dye your hair as well.” he insists.

“absolutely not reyna. i’ll give you a kiss at most.” you offer.

“deal.” he smiles.

“deal.” you shake hands with the newly blonde boy. you really hope this works out because you can’t help losing his friendship nor stop seeing that smile of his that made you feel like a little girl.

joe carefully helps gio make his way to the stands with his injured leg. although, the injury doesn’t seem to phase the new york native one bit. he’s insistent on making his way towards his family and yours wanting to celebrate the win to the fullest no matter his status. the surreal feeling of winning another competition for his country overtakes the pain he feels as he limps towards your section. with the help of his friend it takes him only six minutes to get to his family.

despite all the turbulent times his family had faced lately they were still the most important people to him. he wasn’t ashamed that they were here nor embarrassed. he hugged them like his life depended on it. he never admitted it publicly but every time his parents said they were proud of him after a win he would get all sappy inside.

“we’re so proud of you and so is he.” his mother told him.

jack. how he missed his brother and wished he was here to witness all the things they should’ve achieved together.

“you okay?” you ask noticing how distant gio was being.

“just thinking about him.” he looks up at the giant screens saying they were champions.

“i believe he would be very happy for you and proud of what you’ve accomplished. but, you knew him best.” you brushed your hand through his hair. a habit of yours that had started when he randomly laid down on your lap during high school.

“well, i know for starters he’s happy that i finally asked you out. i like to think he was very proud when he saw my name on the squad list for qatar and i imagine he would be very happy for me today.” he smiles at the fond memories of his brother.

“i’m sure he would.” you agree with him. “are you okay though? physically?”

“oh, yeah just a few therapy sessions and it should be fine. although my leg is injured my lips aren’t. i’m still waiting on that kiss.” he smirks.

“you’re so corny oh my god.” you smack him playfully.

“oh please have you seen christian’s leaked snapchats? you should be grateful i’m not him. now, about that kiss?” he insists.

“here? in front of your family and the press? wow, you really hate me don’t you?” you ask him jokingly.

“oh, yeah i despise you. this has all been a big plan.” he plays along. “my family loves you already. trust, my mom has already planned our wedding.”

“well, your dad does love me more because my spanish abilities are better than yours and well i would die for your mom. but i’m not sure i’m ready to appear all over the internet.” you play with him.

“it’s not my fault i grew up in a household that only spoke english. anyways, i don’t want to pressure you-”

“come here.” you urge him to get closer to you so you could reach him better.

he scoots a little bit closer so now you’re in a close distance with him. his brown eyes look straight into yours and you internally smile at his features. you hope the gum you’ve been chewing for the past hour comes in handy as you lean down. the kiss is short but sweet. he can’t place his hand on your jaw to deepen it as he needs to maintain his crutches balanced. when you both pull away you notice his rosy cheeks and soon you feel yours heating up.

“by the way i’m going to need some toner.” he smiles up and you simply scoff after playfully smacking him.

#uhhhh yeah #i want him #i need him #my no sabo kid #> thinking about the interview where they asked him if he knew anything and he was like no ❤️#gio reyna imagine #gio reyna x reader #gio reyna fic #giovanni reyna imagine #giovanni reyna x reader #bvb #football imagine #football fic #ash writes #usmnt

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thyme-in-a-bubble · 1 year

Text

but I didn’t. I asked you

A/N: this is an old blurb originally posted back at the beginning of June

Warnings: Spencer Reid x reader, bau!reader, knitting, references to 7x23

∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽

masterlist | join my taglist

Squinting, keeping a close eye on what exactly you were doing with the knitting needles, he breathed out, his tone, unfortunately, making it sound like a question, “I think I’ve got it.”

Handing him the small woollen patch you’d begun for him and slowly used to demonstrate, over a few rows, how it was done.

Watching him with a small smile as he timidly began to knit, you held onto the ball of yarn, gradually unspooling more for him as he needed it. Good thing it wasn’t a sweater and just a simple scarf that he wanted to knit for his first time. He wasn’t doing badly per se, but this was his first time after all.

Taking your eyes off of his fingers, looking down at the ball of yarn in your lap, you asked him quietly, “can I ask you something?”

Completely wrapped up in the fear of dropping a stitch, he just hummed.

“Why didn’t you ask Garcia to teach you how to knit? I mean, everyone knows that she can knit, I didn’t even know you were aware of the fact that I also have that skill…” glancing up at him, “and isn’t she the one going to that convention with you?”

Your question had halted his movements, but his eyes didn’t lift to meet yours. “I, um… a few weeks ago, on the plane, you asked me to get a pen out of your bag and I saw, crammed in there, the thing you were knitting. It had this beautiful criss crossy textured pattern on it…” lowering the needles, he met your gaze, “and you’re right, I could have asked Garcia, she would have probably been happy to teach me, but I didn’t. I asked you.”

Seeing his eyes briefly flicker down towards your lips, he then turned back to his work, and slowly, one by one, made the project grow.

#lea’s writing #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x you

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bringthekaos · 4 months

Note

What if Viktor getting involved with the void in Arcane is going to be the show writers way of explaining his inconsistent characterisation and ethical standing in lol lore? He is more scary and morally bankrupt the more the void has a hold on him/the more recently he’s used the hex core. And he’s more sympathetic and in touch with his own altruistic goals and motivations the more time he spends away from it (but also more sick and physically frail). But that could also be too close to what Jinx has going on with Powder.

Eh, if done right, two characters can have similar story arcs, and it not feel stale. Especially when you could use the repeated story arc as a commentary about the socioeconomic disparities that both those people, both from the same place, suffer. Like… at their core, their stories ARE incredibly similar. They both started out kind and altruistic—Powder: “I only wanted to help, I only wanted to help/Why did you leave me?” And Viktor: “we agreed Hextech was to improve lives, not to take them/There are people who need our help now, Jayce!” Both of them tried and tried and tried to help, but in the end it only brought pain and suffering back on them. And the desperation, the loneliness and abandonment they both feel leads to them eventually snapping, in their own ways.

And I think speaking to a collective “madness” in all Zaunites who feel rejected and abandoned and hopeless would work, narratively speaking. After all, a person can only take so much. And while yes, the causes are wildly different between Jinx and Viktor, the underlying truth is the same—we tried it the good way, and it didn’t work out for us. So now we’re trying the bad way.

And I think having it be the Void’s influence would be a way to morally complicate the issue—not taking the blame for his actions as MH per se, but… complicating it. It’s the old “not guilty by reason of insanity” argument. How skewed is his idea of right and wrong? How badly has the Void altered his perception of reality? Is he really even still in there, or is it the Void using him like a conduit? And in that case, can he be saved, can he be separated from it, and if so, should the man who is free of its influence be held responsible for the actions of the man who wasn’t?

IDK, I think this could actually be a very interesting path to take with him, in Arcane. It would certainly complicate the Jayce rivalry. Cuz Jayce would probably be constantly operating under the assumption that I can save him, I can bring my old friend back. And Viktor, of course, would likely have the response no, you can’t. You made me what I am. The man you knew is gone, and any attempt to bring him back will be met with metal and fury.

In both Jinx and Viktor’s cases… they’re the monster you created.

#arcane #arcane league of legends #arcane s2 #arcane season 2 #arcane theories #jayce talis #arcane viktor #the void #arcane jinx #jinx #asks #ace answers

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strawhatsoraya · 2 years

Text

SANJI X READER

Juice with a Bite

SANJI X READER | FEM! READER, NSFW, SHE/HER, WORD COUNT: 2.3k

CW: oral male giving female receiving, fingering, squirting

A BADLY WRITTEN SUMMARY: Part 2 of Mango Juice... The one where Sanji is true to his promise and visits Y/N's room at night when she's thirsty…

He was a man of his word.

He didn’t forget the alluded promise he spoke to you earlier that day, when the heat was sweltering and he could still taste you on his tongue. You had lingered on his senses, like sun poisoning; skin prickly hot, head in the clouds, thirst insatiable.

Sanji was sick, and you were both the illness and the cure.

Luffy had remained in his orbit throughout the day, chattering away about the damn mango juice. It had taken all of his pathetic excuse for patience just to keep from snapping. No, there was no actual mango juice–at least not for him, and no–he would not go out and buy more mangos. After all, Nami had taken care of stocking up the pantry for him.

It would be rude of him; downright disrespectful, plus he had no intentions of letting Nami catch wind of his afternoon shenanigans for multiple reasons. His business with you was your business, nobody else’s. Secondly, he couldn’t bear to see the smirk on Nami’s face should she find out. It wouldn’t be long before everyone else would know once Nami had enough information.

Sanji was not embarrassed, per se, but he didn’t know what your flirtatious moments even meant aside from an attempt at stealing his senses, his pride, his honor.

Doubt stiffened his muscles as he cleaned up the kitchen close to midnight. He was thankful for the quiet now that everyone had gone off to bed, which allowed him a moment to his thoughts; something that was both agony and ecstasy.

He could see your glistening skin behind his eyelids, and smell the scent of cocoa in his nostrils. In a daze, he found the secret mangoes he had stashed away. The juice was almost overflowing in the glass as he knocked on your door, careful not to spill a single drop.

“My dear,” he loudly whispered, shoulder against your bedroom door. “I don’t suppose you’re still thirsty?”

He hears movement behind the door then silence.

You are contemplating your life choices as you hurriedly throw items off your mattress, stashing them under your bed, out of view. You kick an abandoned towel into a corner, move a large Monstera plant enough for the pot to cover a pile of wrappers you keep meaning to get rid of.

The truth was, you were hoping Sanji didn’t show up. It was one thing to tease him, to pass him by in tight spaces and relish in the power you had over him. It was another different matter to have him at the threshold of your bedroom, intentions evident in the fire behind his eyes.

You hadn’t seen his eyes yet, but you could only imagine.

Your heart picks up, as you brush possible imaginary crumbs off your bedsheets, fluff your curls–at least three times–and push up your breasts.

“I’ll be right there!” you call out, another loud whisper. You didn’t want to wake the others. That would be terribly inconvenient. He is standing with a glass of juice in his hand when you open the door. Your cheeks color, remembering his words–and everything before them.

Pink lips stretch into a small smile as he greets you; almost shy. You chew on the inside of your cheek, fingers wiggling at the realization. He was just too cute for words sometimes. It’s why you enjoyed teasing him so much.

“Come in,” you tell him, backing into the room. As he walks past you, you spot a rogue sock, and you lift it with your toes and flick it under the bed in one swift move. Sanji seems to stop in front of the potted plant, and you start to panic. You’re stammering, trying to find a topic of conversation to distract him from what’s hiding behind it.

“You’re into plants?” he asks you, turning to offer the glass of juice to you. You grasp the glass a little too desperately, practically snatching it from him. Juice spills from the glass, sloshing around your hand. You think nothing of it as you bring the top of your hand for a quick cleanup with your tongue.

“Not really,” you say, licking your lips now. The mango was tart, with a small hint of sweetness. It was perfect. “It was a gift from Robin.” Robin liked to give you things–little trinkets, and she’d always accompany them with a long monologue of information you quickly struggled to retain.

You look up from your hand, now sticky from juice to catch Sanji’s eyes on you. His stare is almost unblinking. It unnerves you, but you’re determined to fake your bravery. After all, it was part of your persona. Appearances were important, Nami would say, it makes or breaks a lady.

Or a con artist. It depended on what your beliefs were.

Sanji wholeheartedly believed that you were a good girl. Sure, you adored nothing more than to press your chest against his back at the most inconvenient times, and perhaps your hands had a mind of their own while others were present–but you had a good heart. That’s what mattered. It was what mattered to him.

So, this decision of being in your room, with the intent to follow through on a loaded promise was starting to wear on his conscience. Was what he was doing gentlemanly? A promise was a promise. You had welcomed him into your bedroom, without needed explanations. Surely, that meant you expected him to keep it?

It would be ungentlemanly of him to disappoint you. Wouldn’t it?

He breathes out through his nose, a heavy sigh. It wasn’t like he could hold back anymore, even if he wanted to. At the sight of your tongue lapping at the spilled juice he had felt himself stiffen, a growing awkwardness in his pants.

Sanji wanted nothing more than to devour your mouth with his, taste the fruit juice off your tongue but you were not done; glass half empty or half full. He hadn’t decided yet.

“You can change your mind,” he says, a hand gently gesturing towards you. You detect a hint of nerves in his voice, and your eyes find his crotch. You watch with a growing heat at the bottom of your belly over your glass. Your vision was not perfect, but it worked well enough to notice the bump under the cloth.

“No, thank you,” you hear yourself saying, and you wonder if that version of yourself knows no shame? The answer should have been evident, but you liked to play the oblivious fool. It made life easier.

He watches you tilt your head back and chug the rest of the juice. It was a sight he had seen before when you’d challenge Zoro. It always ended the same way: both of you drunk out of your minds, taking turns picking on him.

The memories are enough to color his cheeks, and he takes the glass from your hands, eager to push past them.

“Don’t be in a hurry, Sanji,” you tell him, wearing a crooked grin. Your voice is light, teasing, but your hands are clammy and sweaty. You wipe them on the back of your pajama shorts. “It’s not like I’m going anywhere. ”

He grunt as a response, trying to find a spot where to lay down your glass. He picks the nightstand; just as well, it was closest to you.

“Come here,” he says softly, standing by your bed. You move towards him, anticipation causing little tremors all over your body. His hands are warm on the small of your back as he pulls you close. “Let’s finish what we started.”

It starts with a light kiss; mouths brushing against each other as a test. He wants to take his time, rushing is so not like him but your plush mouth is soft against his. Your bottom lip beckons him, so he follows it to the abyss, taking it in his mouth for a slow suck. His hands move across your body, taking in the softness of your skin underneath your camisole.

What was a gentle exploration of mouth, and body, soon becomes heated. His hands grip your ass as he moans into your mouth, hungrily seeking out your tongue. The smell of mango lingers on his mouth, in your breath that consumes what little is left of his senses. It feels like delirium, the way he cannot stop himself from exploring your mouth further, the way he bites at your lips with abandon.

You gasp when one particular bite becomes painful, your nails digging into his bicep. It does little to stop him–it just deviates his course. He moves to your neck, where his teeth continue a streamlined assault. He comes up for air to admire the pink-purple marks on your skin.

“My sweet, I’m sorry,” he mumbles against your skin, hands in your hair, lips gently brushing against your marred neck. “I guess I’m not myself right now.”

You don’t have time to question him further. He picks you up, and tosses you on the bed. You yelp as you bounce on the mattress. Your hands go out to stop him–to question him, but Sanji is on top of you, slipping his fingers under the elastic of your sleeping shorts.

“Wait,” you breathe out, but he does not. He slips them down in one swift move, helps you loop them off your ankles. His mouth is on your belly, dragging his teeth across your skin. “Are you listening?”

He looks up at you through his lashes, lids heavy with lust. His tongue drags along the elastic. You feel his hands move up your thighs. He pushes them apart, angling his shoulders so that he can fit between you–keep you spread open.

You think about being embarrassed and remember yourself. You’re supposed to be in control. This is Sanji Vinsmoke. He was at your mercy, not the other way around. At least, that was the usual way of things.

Your fingers find tufts of blond hair. You pull roughly, only feeling a tiny bit of guilt at the sound of his pained cry.

“Beautiful,” he says, his thumbs massaging circles on the inside of your thighs. “This is not necessary.” He lets go of one thigh to reach up for your wrist. His long fingers wrap around it, and he pulls at it gently. “I just want to taste you. That’s all.” You have no idea why, but you are compelled to let go.

Trembling thighs threaten to reveal your secrets. You stare at the ceiling for a moment, and close your eyes at the feel of his hot open mouth over the fabric of your panties. His breath is hot against your cunt as you feel him panting, tasting you over the barrier. You can feel his shoulder shake, so you urge him on, one hand on the back of his head, hips rolling against his tongue.

The panties are a nuisance. He considers tearing them apart but it seems unhinged, unreasonable, so unlike him so he frowns instead, and pulls them down despite the painful erection in his pants demanding quicker action.

You whimper as he softly pushes your legs apart. He spreads you wide–enough to have a good look. His gaze lingers on your puffy cunt, already sticky wet. He looks for a long time without touching you, enough to make you feel embarrassed. You feel your cheeks color, a shudder runs its course.

“What are you doing?” You ask in a whispered hiss, craning your neck to look.

He looks up at you, eyes wide, mouth parted. “You’re so beautiful,” he tells you, as he moves forward. Sanji licks his lips. “Did you know that?”

Your back arches when he finally kisses your center. A moan, barely contained, rumbles in your chest. His tongue is wet, soft against your folds. The heat of his mouth forces you to gasp as he hums while he sucks. His eyes are closed but he looks content, as if there was nothing else he’d rather eat than the salty sweetness of your pussy.

There was nothing else he desired in all of the seas right now, except to taste every last drop from your dripping pussy. His fingers almost seemed like a disturbance as he pushed two inside of you. He frowns at them, even as he moves them in and out of you–letting his pace be dictated by your whines. Your hips move on their own, and he pushes a shoulder against one, trying to keep you near.

You are slick around his fingers, hot and mesmerizing. Your swollen nub feels the best when he curls his tongue around it, when you arch your back and cry out his name.

The way his name rolls off your tongue; it is almost as delicious as the taste of your cunt, juicy and sweet. He was a connoisseur, a man of refined taste. At every island he made sure to taste new fruit, new combinations, but nothing could beat the taste of mango, and you all at once.

His fingers pick up the space, scissoring inside you. He feels blinded by your sweetness. He would think himself deaf as the world dissolves around him, if your moans weren’t the ones grounding him to you. A fiery coil twists inside you, threatening to obliterate everything in its past. You cry out, fingers scratching his scalp as you desperately grab at whatever you can.

Your hips move faster, trying to keep up with him–his greedy fingers and even greedier tongue rubbing merciless circles against your clit. Your body tenses up as you feel your orgasm take over. A flash of white clouds your vision, your voice sounds other–a disembodied voice, as you gush on his face.

You can’t even be embarrassed as your body jerks; the after effects of your orgasm. Sanji stills between your legs, his face covered in your cum, slickness dripping off his chin. He blinks a few times, removes his fingers from your vagina. You watch him as he sits up, looking down amazed at his soaked fingers. He brings them up, licks the back of them, swirls his tongue around them. “How soon can you do that again?” he asks you, his fingers still in his mouth. “I didn’t get a good taste the first time around.”

#sanji x y/n #sanji vinsmoke #sanji x you #sanji x reader #one piece sanji #sanji smut #vinsmoke sanji #sanji scenarios #one piece smut #one piece x y/n #one piece x you #one piece x reader

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ilooklikeaburntchickenugget · 1 year

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A/N: I don’t know if anyone else has ever felt like this, but I remember someone once telling me something along the lines of, “You’re the girl boys are going to marry. Those other girls are the one’s they’re just playing with for now.” I’m not trying to put other women down at all, but I think I’ve struggled a bit with looking at relationships I’ve had in such a logical sense that I’ve never been able to truly apply myself or feel anything more than a sense of temporariness. So this is about the girls that boys marry, and giving all those girls a bit more peace of mind about their true potential. Pairing: Gerard Way x F!Reader Word count: 3,304 words Warnings: Angst, panic attacks and anxiety, swearing

You had… struggled with men.

It wasn’t necessarily that you were the problem per se, it was more so that your expectations were. Even in your early 20s you had wanted so badly a boyfriend who was ready to settle down at least a bit, even if it only lasted two or three years. You would’ve never minded the weekend outings with his friends or the independence that most relationships were built on nowadays, but you at least expected some domesticity and consistency.

And according to everyone, especially your friends who were on boyfriend five or six by the age of 25, that wasn’t reasonable.

“Listen, Y/N,” Jessica said through the loud conversation of the bar you were in, music interrupting just a bit in the background. “It’s not that men don’t like you, or that you’re an undesirable person, it’s that they don’t want you right now.”  “You’re the type of girl they’ll marry.” That was the key phrase, the one that had been repeated over and over to you. At this point you were sure it was being said solely because if your friends said it enough, they believed it would come through. You were also slightly relying on that theory too.

And sure, just looking at the men around your age in your life and backtracking their behavior and relationships could easily prove that theory. Most of the girls they dated didn’t last longer than a couple months, a year if they were somehow lucky enough to stick. They were usually more wild, wanted to go out every Friday and Saturday until they were completely wasted and walking through the streets of New York aimlessly. Nothing against them, that just wasn’t you.

“Gerard will inevitably go for you,” Georgie had said optimistically, “Just give him time, ya know? He’s going for crazy girls right now, give him another two years. Once men hit 30, they have a switch go off in their brains and suddenly all they want is to wife up the right woman, buy a house in a nice suburb, and trade in their fun car for a reliable 7-seater SUV.” You groaned a bit at the wait time she proposed and the generally unlikely thought that someone like him would actually date you, let alone marry you.

Sure your crush was relatively obvious, but that’s all it was. A crush. A stupid little liking because, yes, he was attractive, and you two seemed more than comfortable with one another. Only in those fantasy worlds you dream when trying to fall asleep would the two of you be married in a white picket fence house. To begin with, neither of you would completely apply themselves to that lifestyle, and Gerard was off in his own world doing his own things and would never think of you in a way that would allow for such a relationship to exist.

And now, sitting here in a club you didn’t necessarily want to be at, those worlds seemed to divide even more. You slowly sipped on your vodka Red Bull that was meh in the grand scheme of drinks you had drank in your years. Your friends sitting next to you at this round booth that was obnoxiously worn for how nice it looked were off in their own conversation about something you lost track off long ago. Your eyes were now far more focused on the way Gerard was interacting with his newest fling, whatever her name was. He was currently going through a stage of girls he found so disposable that you didn’t even have to know the names of them. Soon enough, they were gone too.

Your stomach only knotted itself in a more complicated tangle when her hands drifted around and to the back of his neck, using his slightly taller frame to balance herself with a stupidly innocent yet dangerous smile on his face, that judging by his smirk/smile combo he was eating up, unlike you. And finally, the way their bodies touched in such close proximity, his hands tightly grasping the hips of her tiny and snug dress, and their lips met it what seemed to be at least a halfway genuine kiss had caused your brain to enter overdrive.

You placed your glass down on the table, the outside now dewey from the contrast of how long it had been out to the growing heat with an obnoxiously large amounts of moving bodies everywhere. “Y/N-“ One of your friends called, trying to grab your attention.  “I need- air.” Was all you were able to muster out, grabbing your coat. Scrambling through these large bodies of people only made your emotions more spiked and generally freaked out, and finally by the end you were in a dark hallway leading to the exit. You marched towards it and outside.

You were hoping for some fresh air, but living in a big city held no such luxury. Instead, all you could smell was a nearby sewer, cigarette smoke, and some pizza place a couple storefronts down. None of this was helping.

After a moment of contemplation as to whether going back in there was a good idea, your minds reaction switched to a simple “run” and that led you marching home. You were grateful you had gotten over the “I want to look cute so I’ll wear high heels” phase of your life, because your tennis shoes right now were saving you from days of pain and blisters at the pace you were walking.

You weren’t sure anymore if you were running from the club itself and the atmosphere you could care less for, or him. This was a cycle that happened every time and everywhere you went with him. You would show up with your friends to clubs or bars thinking it was somehow, magically going to be different from the last time. Within an hour, you had left usually with the excuse you had a lot of work to do over the weekend (a very blatant lie) or that you just weren’t feeling well (code phrase for: I’m sick and tired of seeing him all up on other girls). You wanted tonight to be different though.

You had quickly decided to not respond to his texts. You would get home, text one of your friends letting her know you were safe, and turn off your phone for the night. You wouldn’t be the one to deal with his text messages that came flooding in about how much he adored you, how pretty you were, how he never wants to make you feel uncomfortable because you’re just such a special person to him. It was probably the adrenaline high, gaining mass amounts of validation from girls prettier than you, but you were over his tendencies to fuck with you and make you believe there was even a slight shot you had at a relationship with him. It was like he ignored your Monday movie nights which always ended up in you cuddling together, or every Wednesday when he would take you out to dinner just to “check in” since you were that important to him. But in moments like these, you realized you were the last thing on his mind. And that was the problem.

As soon as you got home you had followed the plan as created. Texting your friend to tell her you were at home and nothing had happened to you, and shutting off your phone loosely throwing it onto your bed. You slipped off your shoes and took off this stupid little back dress that you couldn’t help but wonder if you even looked good in anymore. He went with you to the mall when you found it. Called you gorgeous, and insisted you buy it, stating “that dress was made for you”. Clearly it wasn’t amusing anymore. You carelessly threw it on the floor of your closet next to old boxes of shoes and hoped it would be eaten by them and never seen again.

You decided on a quick shower, letting the steam and scorching hot water burn your feet a bit before stepping out and prepping your hair for the night. You decided on a sleep mask a friend had gotten you for Christmas from a store that specialized in products for sensitive skin, which unfortunately was perfect for you. Finally, you settled in bed with your computer, debating whether to find a good book or TV show.

Maybe a minor mistake. You quickly realized that your texts transferred over to your laptop, and now here you sat debating whether to open up the five unread messages from Gerard. You decided against it, despite the little red bubble in the corner of the icon that was obnoxiously yelling at you to open it up. But you had some element of self control even in an emotional state, and knew you couldn’t deal with a man child right now for your own sake.

You had curled up with an old comfort show of yours from when you were a kid. Your mind immediately flashed back to the couple of moments when you weren’t doing well, Gerard coming in to check on you and watching it with you. Despite it being a literal kids cartoon probably produced for seven year olds, he had no protests to your knowledge and seemed to enjoy it. But you quickly pushed those remaining thoughts out of your mind and tried to focus on the present itself.

You were nearly on the brink of falling asleep, having gotten through a good four or five episodes, your brewed and boiling tea now room temperature and the surface of the water now staining the inside of the mug where its edge met the ceramic. That was when you got the little ding on your computer, looking at the top right corner where your notifications came in.

“I’m outside your door,” The words flashing under the name Gerard Way made your eyes grow wide. “Please open up, I don’t want to knock and disturb your neighbors.”  Oh, so now he’s being selfless, but only for your damn neighbors who you barely knew. You decided to leave it be, assuming he would leave soon enough.

“Open up. I will start knocking.” Was the next text. You scoffed at the tone of his message, coming off as a complete and utter dick. Which right about now he was.

Only 15 seconds later and the string of knocks came, literally not stopping.

Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock-

The man would not leave your door alone and was clearly unwilling to unwind his fist and take his ass home. You stomped out of bed and up to your door where you swung it open, to reveal Gerard there in that damn leather jacket you loved so much on him, hair in multiple different directions, and eyeliner beginning to smudge and look more like raccoon eyes. “What the fuck do you need.” Was all you stated as he tightly smiled at you.

“It’s nice to see you too,” Was all he could say, trying to casually step into your apartment but promptly being blocked by you moving in his way.  “If you need something right now, tell me. I’m not playing games.” He took a sigh, leaning against the doorway and crossing his arms, clearly too oblivious to understand any ounce of the problem you were currently having with him.

“Why did you leave? Again?” He asked as if your want to leave a boring and shitty club was your fault.

“Are you for real right now?” You asked him with a scoff as he stood there in his self-righteous glory, “You do this every fucking weekend. Invite me out with our friends, leave me as soon as we get into the fucking place to go and hang out with- whoever your fucking now” He seemed intrigued by your tone judging by his face of amusement which only fired you up more, “And I’m left in the fucking booth with nothing to do.”  “You could come out and dance with me-“  “Bullshit!” You immediately called, interrupted him, “Not when you have a girl pressed up so close against you that you would actually be fucking her had you not had clothes on.”

This time he seemed more startled by your outburst, “Listen,” You sighed a bit, trying to take a deep breath and calm yourself before your apartment manager was called by the neighbors. “I’m really done with this whole situation. If you’re not interested in me, genuinely, please just leave. I can’t deal with someone nagging me on like a dog with a bone, and expecting they’ll put as much thought and effort into this when they don’t. I get you’re still in your phase of experimenting with people, totally fine. But don’t play with me when you know I’m ready for something bigger and more permanent.” You gave him one more tight smile, the most genuine you could pull as he stood there in a bit of awe, “Goodnight, Gerard.”

You were closing the door when you felt a force push back, and this time Gerard actually managed to maneuver his way in. Before you could even process his presence, he had taken your cheeks in his hands and pressed his lips against yours. You froze for a good couple of seconds before giving in against every logical neuron firing their cannons in your brain, and kissing him back. It felt needed, so passionate and powerful that you felt your entire body heat up as if every blood vessel wanted to be known with a blush tone painting your skin.

As soon as he let you go to give you some breathing room, his hands still on your face, you pulled away. You only got a glimpse of his softened face and wide eyes before they turned to disappointment and face dropping in the same fashion. “D-don’t do that.” Was all you could mutter out, now on the brink of tears and choking on the sudden dryness in your throat. “I- we can’t- I can’t do this.”

You had felt your body go to its natural reaction when entering a panic attack, your face scrunching up so it turned sour, breathes beginning to stumble on each other, and body feeling like it was shaking. “Shit.” You heard Gerard mutter, feeling his arms wrap around you and slowly walking you to your couch.

You felt the cloth couch under you given that you were wearing loose shorts and Gerard let go of you which actually felt a lot better than the squeezing sensation against your shoulder. “Sweetheart,” You heard lightly through the pounding in your ear drums, “I need you to take deep breaths, count. 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3. 1, 2…” The sequence continued as you slowly started focusing on your breath again and back to having relatively more control of your consciousness. As soon as you felt like you could speak again, you mumbled out.

“I- I’m s-sorry.” It was all you could say as your tears stained your face even more. It was a natural response for you to apologize for overly-showing emotions, despite years of therapists and others telling you it wasn’t something you should do.

“No, honey, it’s okay.” He reassured, placing his hand on your thigh, “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that and led you into a panic attack I- that’s so fucked up.”

“You didn’t mean t-to.” You managed to say out loud. The room was silent for a few more seconds, Gerard grabbing the TV remote and turning it on.  “Ah, perfect.” He said as your comfort show was of course the first thing that popped up. He hit play without asking for any permission. He got up, finding your pile of blankets on one of the chairs in the back corner of the living room, picking one out and coming back, draping it over the two of you. He was quick to place his arm around your shoulder, allowing you to find the comfort of his shoulder as a resting place for your head. He gave you a kiss on the head before whispering into your ear, “Anything else I can do?” You shook your head deciding you needed some more time to calm down before pursuing the serious conversation you were inevitably going to have tonight and just trying to enjoy the moment.

It all felt a bit surreal, and more like a movie. You had questioned if this was Gerard again just trying to keep you at bay, and if your words actually meant nothing to him but a manipulative tool to make sure you stayed. As your mind ran with this, you finally had to pop the question. “Are we doing this, yes or no?”

Simple as that and turning to him now more serious, he looked back at you, then at the TV with the remote to pause the show. It was a bit comical almost to see this very serious conversation was about to begin with a cartoon character in the background. “Do you want to?” Was all he asked back.

“I’ve wanted to for a while. It’s you I’ve been forced to wait for.” He smiled a bit at your response with it’s hint of snark, “And don’t just say yes to keep me, I can’t deal with this again. If you want to do this, you need to be 100% sure. If you need more time, you can take it. But I don’t want you to say yes for me, you need to say yes for you.”  He took another moment, his eyes scanning your face while his small smile still remained. “You know I would say yes to anything you wanted.”  “Gee that’s not the point,” You argued back, “I don’t want to be stuck in a full blown relationship if you don’t want one. But I also don’t want to continue to play cat and mouse with you and be left waiting alone every night while you’re out with other girls. If you want me, you have all of me. If you don’t, you have none of me.”

You were finally turning the tables, letting him know how it was going to go. Finally taking control of this uncontrollable ship that was on its way to sink for a while. This was the sink or float moment.

He took a sigh, “I think I’m ready, if we’re being honest.” He admitted, “I’ve kind of realized how stupid it is to spend all this time with these girls who I know I’m never gonna be with in the long run. I would much rather spend it with someone I can picture marrying.”

Well that was a bomb if one was ever dropped. You stared at him in disbelief for a few seconds, before he spoke up again. “Most of the girls I dated was to distract me from you, anyways. I think I was running more from the idea of commitment than I was from you. But I’m ready to settle down, call it quits. Just be normal.”

“You mean it?” Was all you could manage to respond with, “Please tell me you mean it.”  “I never lie to you, sweetheart, you of all people know that.”

He wasn’t wrong. In your years long of friendship/flirty/kinda-dating-but-not-really-situationship he had never lied to you once. He had fucked with you a bit to keep you on edge with him, but never truly, fully lied. You hoped that this was no different.

“This better not be the first,” You said back, “Because I’ll give up anything and everything for you.”

#gerard way #gerard way fanfiction #gerard way x reader #gerard way x y/n #gerard way x you #mcr gerard #my chemical gerard #gee way #my chemical gee #my chemical romance #My Chem #my chemical romance x reader #mcr #mcr fanfiction

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