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mittensmorgul · 3 years

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For anyone interested in long-term residence in the supernatural fandom, please have some observations I’ve made over the decade I’ve been here. Take it or leave it as you will, but I’ve found all of this info useful over the years I’ve been here.

I wrote this yesterday, and it achieved its mission of identifying the sort of folks who would react negatively to it (i.e. a lot of block lists have been updated), so now that it’s been edited for content, it’s going under a cut (because that is how we do things on tumblr in general, unless we have a deliberate purpose for annoying readers with excessively long text posts) for the sake of people who actually do care about the fandom and its history. If that’s not you or your reason for being here, then keep on keeping on with your own thing, I guess. For those who are interested, there’s a lot of fandom resources some of us have been building for years that you might enjoy knowing about.

First off, I’ve been informed by a few friends who’ve read through this for coherency’s sake that it sort of reads like a *shakes cane from porch* fandom grandma complaint, but honestly... I earned this rocking chair and goshdangit imma rock now. So apologies for any “back in my day” vibes or faint aroma of tiger balm this post might give off. Then again, it’s loosely based on a similar post from 2012 so like... time is a flat circle anyway I guess.

1. There is no such thing as “tumblr famous,” unless you’re referring to the hilarious and delightful fic of the same name (please go read it, you will cackle). Posting Hot Takes for imaginary Clout™ on this site is kind of pointless in the long run. Sure you can post solely for the sake of stirring shit and getting notes, but the majority of the folks who do aren’t long term residents of the fandom. They’re just tourists moving through our little beach town for spring break. If you’re actually intent on moving to this corner of the fandom for an extended stay, please bother to really feel out the permanent residents and understand the culture and general mood of the neighborhood. It bears no resemblance to whatever’s going on across town where all the bars and beach parities are happening, and those loud, drunken revelers are, again, gonna disappear back to their regular lives or on to the next party eventually. That doesn’t mean the fandom is dying, it’s just evolving.

(funny how I had several comments implying that I’m just trying to keep the fandom from evolving with this post, because I sincerely do want the fandom to continue on for years to come, and that is impossible without evolution. We can evolve without self-immolating, though. mostly i included point 1 for an excuse to push ancient but hilarious fanfic on you.)

2. Once you post something here, it’s been unleashed to the fandom winds. You never know where it will end up, or who will comment on it or add to it. Remember that time Misha tweeted the link to the Epic Cockles Love Story post? No? It was wild. That was 2012. They all know we’re here, and how to find us if they want to. Please don’t take it to their doorsteps.

Obviously if someone is being a dick on your posts, please feel free to block them, but the whole entire point of this site is to engage people with your posts. Being big mad that someone reblogged your post with comments or supporting evidence, or happy headcanons or “HECK THIS IS GREAT BECAUSE (insert personal story about their experience or whatever else made them Feel Things about your post)” is frankly ridiculous. If your goal is to avoid any sort of engagement with your posts, then maybe try instagram instead. From what I understand, there is a SPN fandom presence there, and nobody can tarnish your original posts with unwanted commentary. But the ability to reblog with additional commentary is a FEATURE of tumblr that builds community through conversation. Otherwise we’re all just talking to ourselves in a vacuum, and that’s what actually kills fandoms.

(and for the folks who just want to blog how they want to blog and don’t want people to engage on their posts at all, please feel free to block anyone you want, as well... nobody wants to step on your toes, but most of us also don’t want to walk on eggshells wondering if this post is one of the “do not add comments for any reason” sorts of posts, either. This is a huge fandom and most people can’t even begin to keep track of every creator and their url du jour, and what their personal rules might be regarding interaction with their content. Including a “please don’t add comments” note at the bottom of your posts-- and not in your tags that won’t even show up on reblogs, but in the actual body of the post-- would sincerely help avoid any awkward or unwanted interactions, too. At the end of the day, you are in control of your own fandom experience and the block button exists.

For the record, I block zero fandom blogs (which is why I posted this, I wanted it to reach a wide scope... refer to the opening paragraphs as to why).

3. Since this post was partly inspired by a tag I left on that post going around about how “previous tags” mean fuckall on this site (which you can read here), just a reminder that if you like someone’s tags or feel they add value to the post, part of the Peer Review structure of tumblr encourages you to PASTE THEM INTO A REBLOG. If you do this, then at least credit the person who actually wrote the tags! Don’t just copy someone else’s tags into your tags on your reblog of the post without credit either. They were not YOUR tags. (I have had this happen to tag rambles I wrote and someone else got credited with them on a subsequent reblog and it is FRUSTRATING). Just... don’t even bother to write “previous tags” because WHAT PREVIOUS TAGS?! Nobody is gonna bother to chase back the chain of reblogs trying to find where the mystery tags came from, friendos. That way lies madness.

(for the record, since some folks seemed to focus on this point solely, writing “previous tags” on a post isn’t inherently a BAD thing, but for anyone who actually is here for more than one-off shitposting, then it’s sort of a pointless thing in the long run. This wasn’t intended to suggest people who ARE here for one-off shitposting are bad or “doing it wrong,” but for people who might actually want to preserve that hilarious joke or insightful comment. People delete posts and entire blogs all the time around here. Links break. I get that the upcoming generation just shrugs at that and moves on with their lives, but heck... you don’t have to accept that all entertainment is disposable if you don’t want to. There’s a bizarre sort of nihilism plaguing us all about the impermanence of pretty much everything that feels like something we should be fighting against rather than buying into wholesale, even in our escapist entertainment. I’m just exhausted by the complete loss of joy in community.

*shouts from the peanut gallery* IT AIN’T THAT DEEP, JUST GET SOME FRESH AIR AND LOOK AT A PUPPY OR SOMETHING

Yes... yes it isn’t really that deep, but bigger picture in the state of reality we’re all entirely disillusioned with, are we supposed to just give up on everything, including the things we cling to because they bring us a tiny spark of hope that we’re not all just trapped in this dystopian nightmare and things might actually be worth living for?

*peanut gallery clinging to burnt husks of peanuts in a barren peanut field* but this is how we have chosen to cope

Okay... you do you... I feel bad for you but if that’s the case then this post is NOT FOR YOU. AND THAT’S FINE. I honestly do not care if you don’t care! I mean, I’m sorry anyone has to live in a world that drives them to that mindset, but I understand. This post is for anyone who might look at their lives and their choices and think “no wait, I unironically enjoy this and want more from the experience of that enjoyment than I’m currently feeling.” Everyone else can continue with their lives as usual.)

4. CONTENT THEFT IS NEVER OKAY. PERIOD. Things like “credit to the artist” or tagging gifs or images you found on pinterest as “not mine” isn’t actually credit. If you can’t source an image or gif set, DO NOT POST IT! We don’t REPOST (i.e. save an image and then create a new post with it as if it was our own creation). We REBLOG (click the little square arrows and reblog from the actual creator). That goes for gif sets, fanvids, screencaps, meta, fic... everything.

(hopefully everyone here already understands this one, but I felt compelled to include some “these are stupidly obvious” reminders anyway, since this is ostensibly some sort of advice column. This is the equivalent of the warning label on your toaster reminding you not to use it in the bath. Like... duh...)

5. Close kin of item 4 is SOURCE YOUR SHIT.

(for 100% disclosure purposes, I specifically discussed this one in this specific way because of an influx of anon ask messages I received in the wake of the finale. Literally the inciting incident for creating this entire post was what I can only assume was a joking ask about a comment Misha made at a con years ago. Someone actually bothered to take the time to type out those sentences to me. I have no idea what they were expecting in reply, or what could possibly motivate them to send this comment about something so entirely random from, again, several years ago. Just a joke? No idea, but whatever... it got me thinking that there might actually be people who are new to the fandom who MIGHT actually care about the fandom history, and maybe they just don’t know where to go for that info, or how to even begin searching through 16 years of history for things they might actually find enjoyment in, rather than just hauling random out of context garbage out on main and pointing and laughing about it now. People are actually allowed to care about things. It’s not cringeworthy to actually care about things, and you are not alone in actually caring, and there’s this whole big room over here full of people who are thrilled to share in that with you. This post is intended FOR THOSE PEOPLE SPECIFICALLY, so if that is not you, please just continue walking by.)

Yes, I know lots of y’all are new around here right now, but dredging up stuff from years ago that fandom has completely debunked and presenting it as TRU FAX again is just exhausting. We’re not trying to be party poopers, but seriously, we have seen it all and are mostly done with extinguishing bags of flaming dog poop on our front porches for the umpteenth year in a row. I’ve seen a lot of posts that have the same tone as “I saw Goody Proctor dancing with the devil” or “I heard kylo ren has an eight pack” and just... the information is there for anyone who cares enough to find it.

This goes double for “why is nobody talking about this thing I just discovered while watching the show for the first time?!” And, oh hon, we have talked it all into the ground over the last fifteen years. We’re happy you’re discovering it again, but I promise we talked about it plenty when the episodes originally aired. We have such a rich meta history that lots of us have worked really hard to preserve. I encourage you to seek it out, if nothing else than as historical artifacts. The way we have discussed the show has been a 16-year evolution. People have written literal doctoral dissertations on this show. Your shitposts are fun! We love reliving our own experience through fresh eyes, and seeing your wonder at experiencing it all again for the first time! But y’all didn’t invent this fandom in the last six months, either.

Meta Sources and Minerals provided by our friendly neighborhood fandom archivist, @lets-steal-an-archive

Academic books and articles about SPN

A collection of Meta Essays going back to s1 and organized by topic (all of this has happened before, all of it will happen again)

SPN Heavy Meta Archive (s1-3)

Mel’s Dreamwidth archive of meta (s1-12)

Oranges8hands Dreamwidth archive of meta (s1-15, with many similar entries to Mel’s... though ymmv on viewpoint in a lot of these too)

Anyone remember Fandom Wank? Not the concept but the actual LJ... No? Okay have a link to SPN topics that ended up there. Through 2013. We have seen so much... including several fandom containment breaches.

for all your art sourcing needs, please see @theroadsofararchive, the repository for so much fandom art.

need to find a gif of something? canonspngifs is a vast repository of gifsets of the entire series. If the gif you want to use in your post happens to be the first gif in the gifset, in the tumblr gif finder thingy just paste the permalink to that post from canonspngifs (which is easily searchable by episode, character, location, situation, quotes, and sometimes even color and clothing items the actors are wearing... it’s really well organized, especially for tumblr >.>) and the first gif will be automatically linked with credit to the gif creator attached. It makes life easy that way. It’s also convenient when trying to remember something specific but can’t remember what episode it’s from. I’ve used the site to jog my memory before going to the superwiki armed with more specific search results to find episode quotes and references. Or sometimes I just scroll through all the nice gifs for fun, too.

Need a screencap of something and know exactly which episode it’s from? Try Home of the Nutty. You might not find the exact screencap you’re looking for, but they have a complete set of caps of every episode, and it’s an incredibly useful resource for quick reference checks and the like. Just give pages a chance to fully load before clicking on the next one. The site is easily overloaded, but it’s still free to use (and again, with credit... Pretty much every screencap on my entire blog is from HotN unless otherwise credited).

As you can see, this is a fandom built on preserving our history. You absolutely are not required to engage with any of this if that’s not of interest to you, but I can only assume that there are people who would be interested in it if only they knew it existed and how to find it. Well, now they do.

6. A few more notes on tags, and how they work on tumblr. The first 20 tags on your ORIGINAL posts are searchable sitewide, so if you want to be able to find something again, tag that thing first before going on general tag rambles. The only place tags on reblogs are searchable is on your own blog. So you don’t have to put 50 tags trying to get a post seen if it’s a reblog. You’re just spitting into the wind at that point. If you have a filing system for finding things again, then by all means add those tags (again, in the first 20, so they’re searchable), but you don’t need to tag a reblog “destiel” and “deancas” and “dean” and “cas” and “dean x cas” or whatever. Pick one for your personal blog’s filing system, that’s all you need.

(this was only added because tagging and searching on this site is so very broken... I get that a lot of folks don’t care about ever searching their own blogs again for anything, so this one only really applies if you do often find yourself trying to find old posts. If not, then it’s not really relevant. It took me years to work out a decent tagging system, and at the beginning of my time here I never thought I’d end up camping out here for a decade and falling this deep into the fandom, and I regretted my lack of consistent tags only years later when I realized I actually wanted to be able to go back and find specific old posts again. So... for anyone who wants to err on the side of caution, working out a sensible tagging system really helps if you’re here for the long term. I personally tag content by episode, because some of my other general tags are so large as to be practically useless as a search term. But whatever system you choose to file stuff on your own blog, it really only has to make sense to you. And again, if this is pointless advice for someone who has no intention of settling here for the long term. Please feel free to ignore it. I just wish someone had explained it this way to me ten years ago and saved me the hassle of retroactively tagging something like 30k posts... especially now that using the mass tag replacer is the fastest way to get your entire blog deleted... oops? so yeah, don’t use the mass tag replacer either >.>)

7. Tags on Tumblr DO NOT WORK LIKE TAGS ON TWITTER. If you @ someone in the body of the post, it will show up in their notifications (if they’re the sort of person who even checks their notifications... not all of us do. For the record, I generally don’t...), but putting actor or ship names in the tags on a tumblr post does absolutely nothing. It’s not the same as tagging the actor’s twitter account in a tweet. Nobody’s getting notifications about you tagging a post about Jensen here as “Jensen Ackles.” There is a difference. Please learn it. (and don’t take headcanons and ESPECIALLY RPF or otherwise explicit art or fic from tumblr to twitter and tag the actors in it. That’s just... not okay.)

(I have seen the pearl clutchers getting all in a huff about the mere existence of RPF or even explicit content of fictional characters if it doesn’t meet their purity standards, but tagging those things allows people who don’t want to see it to actively avoid that content here. Nobody has a right to tell people their fictional content shouldn’t exist at all, or that creators of that fictional content somehow deserve harassment or threats for having dared to create such “immoral” content, won’t somebody PLEASE think of the children... and no... you do not do that here. Don’t be the problematic behavior you wish to ban from the world. Learn to use tags to protect yourself from, as i have attempted to emphasize here, fictional content you are personally upset by. That’s a you problem, not a problem for the creators of potentially upsetting content that they tag appropriately for.)

8. General formatting stuff: If you’re writing long text posts, visually break them up so people aren’t faced with one long wall of text. The enter key is your friend. Also, if you put long text posts under a Read More break and send people to your blog to finish reading, please ensure that your blog is actually visually accessible (tiny text, or light grey text on a dark grey background, or a visually busy background might be aesthetically pleasing to you but nobody can actually read it. Loads of folks won’t even try. Which is great if you don’t actually care whether people are able to appreciate your content or not, but something to at least consider if you *do* actively want to encourage engagement with your work. Confirm how your blog looks on both mobile and desktop and make sure it’s actually functional in both, too).

And since I mentioned that most of my experience on fandom tumblr has been in the SPN fandom, here’s a bit of a reminder for folks who are new around here. With the reminder that I have been here more than a decade and still feel like a newbie myself sometimes...

This is an OLD FANDOM. There are many, many people who have been at this longer than some of you have been alive. The average age for creators in this fandom is older than you think (I think of my friends in their 30′s as young’ins okay? okay). With that understood, you are responsible for the content you consume and are exposed to. Curate your experience. Ship and let ship. YKINMKATOK. Don’t deliberately expose yourself to content you find upsetting for whatever reason. Tags and warnings are your friends, not targets for you to attack in some sort of purity war. People will ship things you do not like (or in specific ways you do not like), will say things you do not agree with, and will find their happiness in things you abhor. That is not your concern. Find what you do like, and support and engage with it, and ignore (or block, or unfollow) the rest. Tumblr has a feature that lets you blacklist tags so the content you’re trying to avoid won’t appear on your dash.

Remember the paradox of tolerance.

It is not your job in fandom to police how other people enjoy the fandom. It’s not *my* job to police how *you* enjoy the fandom, UNLESS your enjoyment is in actively harming other real human beings in the fandom. If you don’t like their take on the character or the show or the plotlines or their ships or anything else, you don’t need to engage with their posts at all! The necessary corollary to this is that clarifying misunderstandings or correcting factual misinformation is not “policing.”

(this is where the peanut gallery reminds me it ain’t that deep, and I plead with them to put down the social media and find just one (1) thing to actually believe in in this godforsaken life, find something other than disdain and cynicism and spite to live for. If those things motivate you to find a larger cause for yourself, then great, use them to your advantage, but use them to find something that makes you a better person or brings you a modicum of joy and connection to your fellow human beings despite living in a dystopian hellscape of a world)

I have seen a lot of posts lately that are founded on the sort of authority that comes with “I watched through tumblr for a few months and then watched the last three episodes of the series” and as such are just... missing the larger context of the entire show, and are unfounded entirely in canon. I 100% appreciate the new enthusiasm for the fandom that we’ve been living in here for years, and it’s wonderful to see new people enjoying the thing we love. Your headcanons are valid, you are valid, but recognize that your headcanons aren’t canon. All of us finale denialists have accepted this in some measure, so we feel you. We truly, truly feel you. But regarding actual canon, we have a resource for that: the Superwiki. Learn it, live it, love it, as Metatron would say.

(which you could discover he said in 10.17 Inside Man, thanks to the superwiki! accept no substitutes!)

(and again, there have been people who have been involved in fandom for years who haven’t engaged with canon in years, either! You can play in this universe however you choose, BUT FOR PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT CANON AT ALL, WHICH I AM AGAIN POINTEDLY SAYING MIGHT NOT BE YOU, READER, AND I’M NOT SUGGESTING YOU ARE WRONG FOR NOT WANTING TO ACTUALLY ENGAGE WITH CANON, but if you DO want to engage with canon, please have some useful resources. Why do people feel personally attacked by being presented a list of helpful resources? Absolutely baffling.)

(also: words have definitions. “Canon” is a specific thing, meaning in this case “the finished media product that aired on television.” Anything beyond those limits is secondary canon (think: john’s journal, which is not canon but canon adjacent at best...), word of god (i.e stuff said by the writers and showrunners), or headcanon (which includes actor commentary-- they may have helped create the show with their acting choices and whatever, but they are not in control of the story overall). If there’s something you dislike about actual canon, you can reject it and supplement it with your own theories or preferred outcomes-- that’s basically what fanfic is-- but that doesn’t make your theories canon (much to all our dismay, that’s just not how any of this works. This is not to invalidate how anyone engages with the show or the fandom, just trying to clarify what seems to have been a source of unintentional misunderstandings. Your theories do not have to be “canon” to be legitimate interpretations.)

***I am setting this section apart, and did make a separate post of just this following information, because this is where we go from being relatively chill about different parts of fandom choosing to interact in different ways and you do you and blog however you want, to “hey can everybody please understand that the way you are interacting with this specific material might be harmful for specific legal reasons, and stating that you do not care about the consequences of your actions does actively make you the asshole here...” Okay, now that we have that understood:

The spnscripthunt collective has been steadily acquiring new scripts (which are posted in full on the superwiki for everyone to enjoy, for free). The language around how some folks are talking about these scripts is... concerning. For very real legal reasons, actually, and not because we’re feeling precious about the collection and don’t wike it when meanies use them in shitposts.

-First off, these scripts are not “leaks.” They are all verified and legally purchased (or gifted, in some cases, but still acquired entirely above board. we didn’t whack anyone over the head in a back alley for these scripts, or swipe them out of someone’s trailer on set).

(in case anyone was unaware, these scripts are the copywritten protected property of Warner Brothers. So yes, how we use them and share them with the fandom could have legal repercussions. We present them as a collected resource of fandom history which SHOULD fall under Fair Use doctrine, but this is untested legal water. Insinuating that the scripts are somehow not entirely legally obtained, or that posting them for public access involved less than 100% transparent and entirely legal transactions is incredibly concerning.

Once again for the peanut gallery, if you don’t care about any of that and are just having a good time with it, at least be mindful of the work and expense a large group of people have gone through to acquire and present the content you’re all too eager to exploit for cheap thrills. Some of us do actually care and are not exactly comfortable with the fact that others don’t seem to care about burning it all to the ground. We can’t force you to listen or behave as we’d hope you might, but at least be aware of the potential consequences of your actions. All we’re asking is for you to not be the douchebag who sets the whole neighborhood on fire with your illegal fireworks display. Is that too much to ask for? more on that in a second, first... a psa)

-If you see a script for sale and are unsure if it’s legit (or believe it might already be freely available in our collection), please feel free to ask us for advice. Our goal is to make as much of our fandom history available to the entire fandom, and we absolutely do not want anyone shelling out money for stuff you can already find for free.

(seriously, we’ve seen a bunch of resellers cropping up selling printed versions of the scripts we bought and uploaded for everyone to enjoy free of charge, or scripts that are otherwise of dubious origin. We’ve been at this for years now and know what’s actually out there. We don’t want anyone to fall for a scam if we can help it)

-Also, the usual reminder that the scripts we acquire ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE FINAL SHOOTING DRAFTS. In fact, the majority of scripts in our collection are NOT. Changes are made daily to scripts, even during filming. Comparing a Production Draft (white pages, effectively the first “final draft” of what usually becomes a series of drafts before filming wraps) to a much later revision (say... green or goldenrod revisions, several of which we DO have in our collection for comparison) and how those earlier drafts often differ wildly from the aired version versus how similar a much later green draft is to the aired version, for example, can teach you a lot about the television writing process. The link above to the superwiki scripts page has a nice little explainer about how this process works.

Differences between our posted scripts (many of which are white drafts, aka FIRST complete drafts, which will likely go through multiple rounds of revisions before filming even begins) and the aired version of the show are not all “acting choices” or a director or editor just cutting whole scenes on a whim. It’s insulting to everyone involved in production to suggest that’s the case.

(and yeah, fine... whatever, make any sort of posts you like regarding how those changes came about, but at the very least understand that it’s not actually the truth about how any of this works. Don’t care that that’s not the truth and want to make the posts anyway because shitposting is fun and that’s the extent of your sense of humor? FINE! You’re entitled to do that! But at least you DO know the truth now, and hopefully so do the people who engage with your posts. Deliberate ignorance isn’t cute, smooth lions notwithstanding)

There’s probably a whole other post to be made on fandom tagging etiquette, but again I don’t really use the tags enough to know what’s going on with that whole situation. I’ve also probably left a lot of stuff out, so please feel free to add things I’ve overlooked.

Thanks also to @trisscar368 and @thayerkerbasy for help compiling this, too. They were kind enough to escort me through the park to feed these pigeons. Now I need to take them out for ice cream. :’D

So I guess welcome to the neighborhood. Make yourself at home, but like... try not to trash the place while you’re here. Some of us live here by choice, lol.

#this blue hellsite (affectionate)#fandom problems #kinda wish i'd made this post six months ago but here we are i guess lol #long post #now edited for the people who are actually personally invested in the fandom #thanks for participating in this little experiment and I hope this version is actually informative to those who are interested #meaning there's a lot more links to stuff and explainers and whatnot...#and one last reminder that for folks just swinging through for laughs absolutely none of this applies to you #if you are legit interested in fandom history and preservation as we move to the post-canon world then hopefully this is useful to you

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rpmemestorehouse · 3 years

Text

2010′s Internet Memes Starters

Change wording as needed

“Are you frustrated?”

“What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I-”

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“Has science gone too far?”

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“We need to go deeper.”

“Do you think this is a motherfucking game?”

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“ ‘It will be FUN’, they said!”

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“And not a single fuck was given that day.”

“It’s a double rainbow!”

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“You jelly?”

“Challenge accepted.”

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“And then a skeleton popped out!”

“I’ve seen some shit.”

“gEnIuS!”

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“This isn’t even my final form!”

“You had one job.”

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“Majestic as FUCK.”

“Excuse me sir, do you have a moment to talk about [insert]?”

“I swear on me mum...”

“You have no power here!”

“REKT!”

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“FUCK THIS GAY EARTH!”

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“I cri evrytiem.”

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“I am the one who knocks!”

“Perfection.”

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“I lied.”

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“Oh god why-”

“Everyday I’m shufflin’-”

“You wot mate?”

“Everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked...”

“Man door hand hook car door-”

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“Oppa Gangnam style!”

“When [place] is ashes, you have my permission to die.”

“I only cried for 20 minutes.”

“Pepperidge Farm remembers.”

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“2deep4you”

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“That’s a nice new [insert]. It would be a shame if something happened to it...”

“I too, like to live dangerously.”

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“Does this look like the face of mercy?”

“It was me, [OWN NAME]!”

“Stop trying to make [insert] happen! It’s not going to happen!”

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“Listen here, you little shit-”

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“How do you do, fellow kids?”

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“Pee is stored in the balls.”

“We have food at home.”

“You must be new here.”

“Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters.”

“ERMAHGERD BERKS-”

“That’s the evilest thing I can imagine!”

“Dammit Moon Moon!”

“When u mom com home and make hte spagheti-“

“When will you learn? When will you learn?! THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?!”

“helo would u like some of this hot choclety milk?”

“Be strong, [Name]. Be strong for Mother.”

“Ayy LMAO.”

“Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.”

“Shrek is love, Shrek is life.”

“Heard you were talking shit!”

“The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.”

“Look at me. I’m the captain now.”

“This could be us, but you playing.”

“They played us like a damn fiddle!”

“I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.”

“I’m in me mum’s car, broom broom!”

“Hand me the aux cord.”

“Press F to pay respects.”

“Trust nobody, not even yourself.”

“Anime was a mistake.”

“It’s just a prank, bro!”

“Don’t talk to me or my son ever again.”

“Are ya winning, son?”

“Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.”

“I lived bitch!”

“You just have to say that you're fine, when you're not really fine, but you just can't get into it because they would never understand.”

“*chuckles* I’m in danger.”

“That wasn’t very cash money of you.”

“They had us in the first half, not gonna lie.”

“DEEZ NUTS-”

“Alone on a Friday night? God, you’re pathetic.”

“Why the fuck you lyin’? Why you always lyin’? Mmmm oh my GOD, stop fuckin’ lyin’~”

“You’re gonna have a bad time.”

“I’m at soup!”

“IT’S TIME TO STOP!”

“Congratulations, you played yourself.”

“I’m you, but stronger.”

“This is fine.”

“Hello darkness my old friend~”

“Sosig.”

“Jesus Christ, it’s Jason Bourne!”

“I have crippling depression!”

“WE ARE NUMBER ONE!”

“That’s where you’re wrong, kiddo.”

“Take a fucking sip, babes.”

“Brother, may I have some oats?”

“God I wish that were me.”

“Ah, I see you’re a man of culture as well.”

“Oh, worm?”

“Hewwo!”

“Why would you say something so controversial yet so brave?”

“Am I a joke to you?”

“Let me in. LET ME IIIIIINNNNN!!!!!”

“You know I had to do it to ‘em.”

“Why is the FBI here?”

“Oh no baby what is you doin’???”

“Hey man, you see that guy over there?”

“Buenos días, [Name]!”

“Hey there demons, it’s me, ya boy.”

“Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.”

“Then perish.”

“Somebody toucha my spaghet!”

“My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined.”

“Weird flex, but okay.”

“I’m baby.”

“STONKS!”

“OK, boomer.”

“Yep, this one’s going in my cringe compilation.”

“This is so sad. Alexa, play Despacito.”

“Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.”

“All right then, keep your secrets.”

“They did surgery on a grape.”

“It ain’t much, but it’s honest work.”

“Look how they massacred my boy!”

“Bro! You just posted cringe! You are going to lose subscriber.”

“Wait, that’s illegal.”

“Bro, I’m straight-up not having a good time.”

“Gonna cry? Gonna piss your pants maybe?”

“I’m gonna do what’s called a pro gamer move.”

“Say sike right now.”

#ask meme #ask starter #sentence meme #sentence starter #original memes #inbox meme #inbox starters #rp meme #rp prompts #rp starter #Author's note: I'm so exhausted after making this. There are too many memes.#Anyway see you in like ten years when I make one for the memes of the 2020's

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lokis-army-77 · 3 years

Text

If You Please

Chapter three

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 1994

I'm bad at writing descriptions, so this is basically a reader insert into The First Avenger and then we'll see how it goes from there.

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Masterlist

The afternoon passed quickly and soon it was almost time to go to bed. I was sitting in a chair, reading, in the living room. Steve was sitting in the chair to my left, drawing away in his sketchbook. For as long as I could remember growing up, Steve had wanted to become a comic illustrator. When we were younger he drew small comic strips about the adventures Bucky, himself, and I would go on. They were always fun to read, but then the US entered the war 3 years ago and Steve stopped drawing all the time and focused on trying to join the fighting. He even got Bucky to help train him at the local boxing gym in the afternoons. Now he only drew when he was anxious or if something was on his mind. I knew if I asked he would just deny it and put everything away.

“I’m off to bed Stevie. Don’t stay up too late,” I yawned. I placed my bookmark in between the pages and quietly pulled myself up from my chair. Steve followed and gave me a short hug.

“I won’t, I’ll probably head to bed here in a few minutes. Thank you for helping me pack today,” he said quietly.

“You’re welcome, I’ll see you off in the morning. Goodnight.” I headed out into the small hallway and into my bedroom. I got myself ready, turned off the bedside lamp, and then crawled into bed. The day had been fast but exhausting. I let my eyes close and my mind drifted to thoughts of Bucky on the ship headed to Europe. Was he okay, did he miss me yet, was he alone? I knew he would be fine, but I prayed anyway. I prayed that he would come back to me safe and sound. I also thought of Steve and how he would be going off to training. I knew Dr. Erskine had some plan involving Steve in Project Rebirth, but I just hoped that he knew what he was doing and that Steve would be safe.

Project Rebirth wasn't something to take lightly. We were creating stronger, faster, and better soldiers. Steve had no clue what he was getting himself into and even though I couldn’t tell him I was involved with this project yet, I would be by his side each step of the way.

Finally, tiredness overtook my worried thoughts and I drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep.

The next morning started like any other, I woke up to the jarring sound of the alarm clock by my head. After stretching I got out of bed and walked to the bathroom to wash the sleep from my face. The warm water helps to wake me up. When I was through with that I made my way into the kitchen to start making breakfast for myself and Steve like always. I had just placed the bread in the toaster when Steve strolled groggily into the room. He went over to the counter where I had placed our bowls of cereal and grabbed one. Then he walked over to the table to take a seat. When the toast was ready I put the pieces on a plate and took them over to the table after grabbing my cereal bowl. Steve grabbed a piece of toast off the plate and slowly started to eat.

“You look like you’re about to pass out, did you even go to bed like I told you,” I questioned him and took a few bites of my cereal.

“Yes, I went straight to bed a few minutes after you did,” he replied while glancing up from his cereal and through his lashes.

“Well, the dark circles under your eyes prove otherwise. You won't be able to stay up late and sleep in after you move into the barracks.” He shook his head and kept eating. “Well,” I started with a sigh, “I’ve got to head off to work in a few, I can walk you as far as the subway.”

“Thanks, It would be nice if you could come with me but I know you can't take off on such short notice.” I smiled at him and we continued to eat our breakfast in peaceful silence. After we finished I went to grab the empty dishes but Steve grabbed them before I could. “Here, let me. You go get ready.” I thanked him and went on to get ready for the workday.

When walking to the subway Steve and I cut up and joked like we always did. It wasn’t until we were almost at the subway stop that we became quieter. I grabbed Steve and pulled him into a tight hug.

“I’ll see you later. Try not to get into too much trouble during training,” I joked before pulling away.

“I can’t guarantee that but I’ll try my best not to. Have a good day at work, and remember to lock the door when you get home, I know you forget to do that at times. I won't be there to lock it behind you if you forget.”

“That was one time, but I’ll remember to check it before I go to bed. Now go or you'll miss your ride.” I watched as he walked away, I waved to him when he turned around to me. I stood watching until he walked down the subway stairs. After he was gone I started on my way to the recruitment office, which was just about three blocks away.

It was a peaceful walk, the city was starting to come alive around me as I went. Women and men on their way to work and children on their way to school. The recruitment office was slowly coming into view, I could already see a line of young men standing from the door and down the sidewalk.

Once I made it to the building I maneuvered my way through the crowd of boys and headed to the back office where a short old woman sat at a desk sorting through some files. She looked up at me and smiled while she said, “Beautiful morning, do you have the time?”

I responded quickly with the other half of the code phrase, “Unfortunately my watch has stopped at 4:18.” She nodded and reached her hand under the desk to press a tiny button that would unlock a secret door that was hidden behind four large filing cabinets. I quickly headed in before anyone could come into the back room. The door closed softly behind me and locked back into place. I continued to walk down the dimly lit hallway until I found the women's locker room. Part of keeping the secret of working for the military was that I had to keep my uniform in the hidden base and change into it when I went into work.

After quickly changing into the uniform I left the locker room to go to the elevator that was directly at the end of the hall. I pressed the down button and the doors opened up. While inside I pressed the third level button and waited for the elevator to jerk to life.

As the doors slid open onto the third level basement floor I saw many people running around the yellow-lit hallways. I walked out into the hallway and was greeted by Agent Peggy Carter, who was walking towards me from the meeting room to my left. “Morning Carter, what's on the agenda today,” I questioned.

“Good morning Rogers, I believe today you and I will be going to Camp Lehigh to scout out the new recruits for Project Rebirth. We will be helping with their training starting before lunchtime today.” She kept walking as she explained the plans for today, I followed closely behind her.

“Then we should get to the car, it is almost nine,” I noted as we kept going through several corridors to the garage. “I have some things to tell you as soon as we leave.” Peggy nodded but kept quiet. After about a minute of walking, we made it to the large parking garage. It had been built under the secret base as a quick getaway escape or just a way to move discreetly in and out of the city. Some of the tunnels that were connected to the garage went on for several miles. The one we would be taking surfaced only a few miles away from Camp Lehigh.

As we reached the car, Peggy and I both opened our doors and slid into the back seat. A young army man was already in the driver's seat ready to drive us away. “What is it you wanted to tell me about earlier,” she asked.

“Do you remember me telling you about my older brother Steve?” I questioned while looking over at her.

“The one that keeps trying to enlist? I remember.” She nodded her head as she spoke.

“Yeah, that's the one. Well, yesterday he told me that he’s been recruited, and by Dr. Erskine. So that means that he is going to be one of the candidates for Project Rebirth. He has no clue what my job actually is, but with me being heavily involved in this project, will it be a problem? Are there any protocols that need to be followed?” She shook her head and let out a soft chuckle when mentioned Dr. Erskine. Then she looked out the window and seemed to think for a minute.

Turning back to me she said, “There isn’t any protocol that I can think of, other than that you have to treat him exactly like you would treat the other recruits. This is a sort of gray area because of your heavy involvement with this project over the last several years and the fact that Dr. Erskine himself chose your brother to be in this program.” I slowly nodded my head as she continued. “That being said, If we encounter him, I would give him a small explanation of why you are there without giving him any information about the project, and that while he is there in training, you are his superior, not his sister.”

“Okay, thanks. That's what I was thinking but I just wanted to ask you just in case. When I see him I’ll pull him over to the side and explain.” I paused for a second and lifted my hand up to grab at the necklace I had been wearing. Dangling from the small chain was a dainty art deco style ring, which once belonged to Bucky’s mother. I turned in between my fingers and watched as what little light there was, bounced off the small square diamond in the middle. I placed it back under my blouse. “James left yesterday with the 107th, I still haven’t said anything to Steve.”

“You’re going to have to tell him eventually, it will be better if it’s sooner than later. Since James is his friend he shouldn't be that mad. Trust me, I know from experience.” After saying this she looked out her window and for the briefest moment, I saw a look of sadness go across her face.

“I know I should tell him, but Steve has it in his head that James is someone who isn't going to settle down anytime soon.”

“That’s probably because neither of you has given Steve reason to not believe that James is that way. He’s your brother and he trusts your judgment, if it doesn't go over smoothly just give him time, he’ll come to realize that you and James love one another, and there really isn't anything he can do about it,” she stated matter-of-factly. “Here,” she handed me a small stack of manila folders, “look over these. They’re the files on all the project recruits.”

I opened the first folder and started to skim over the information and thought this was going to be a long drive.

#james buchanan barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x female reader #bucky fic #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x rogers!reader #winter solider x reader #marvel fic #marvel fanfiction

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valefars-ghoul-outback · 3 years

Text

A ton of SCPs could have some Nuerodivergency

Long post, feel free to scroll by.

096? Hates eye contact and gets distressed easily. Pacing is most likely a stim.

423? Has a hyperfixation of books and stories in general, main ones being action/adventure books and The Gardens of the Moon series. Feels a new texture in technology and basically says, "Let's try it again sometime!". Same thing happens with the invisible ink test. Gets confused and distressed in several situations in books. Probably likes info dumping to any one willing to listen. Possibly shown to not understand jokes in the experiment log. Brutally honest in the same sense.

426? Same food is bread considering the older Mr. ■■■■■■ stated that he inserted bread into me and it never popped out, his wife, mimicking me, gorged herself on way too much bread, and also that I am a toaster.

735? Either has a hyperfixation on pissing people off to the extent they try to murder them (to no avail) or are just a brutally honest bastard that doesn't exactly get the fact that exposing someone's flaws, insecurities, and sex life isn't exactly appropriate.

914? Doesn't exactly understand jokes and attempts to pull them off still. Hyperfixation on tormenting Darby. Doesn't understand that writing porn of yourself isn't appropriate during testing.

Pesterbot? Hyperfixation on world domimation. Easily distracted from the bigger picture by a simpler task. Said to communicate in a monotone voice.

1508? Drew to stim. Hyperfixated on whatever task it was "given"

Mr Headless? All but said to have Autism.

2006? Hyperfixation on spookin' people and B tier horror movies, specifically Ro-Man. Doesn't recognize tone most of the time and has to be assured that what it sees is truly horrific (despite a tale written by their creator that says they know better)

2089-1? Absolutely shit at tone, and thinks that the people that want him dead are all fans of his work. Hyperfixation on his blog and answering any comments given, and most likely skeletons. Probably has issues with the texture of wire considering the multiple suicides (at least one of them had to have him hanging himself) and him actively asking his superior if he had to do that.

There's most likely way more, but I still felt the need to detail my observations.

#scp #scp foundation #Nuerodivergent #scp 096 #scp 423 #scp 426 #scp 735 #scp 914 #scp 1370 #Pesterbot #scp 1508 #scp 2287 #little misters #Mister Headless #scp 2006 #scp 2089 #tw suicide #death tw

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arcticdementor · 3 years

Link

When the idea that a woman could have a penis was no longer a privileged insight of the academic elite but had gone mainstream, I remarked to my friend, “How long before we have to affirm the furries?” At the time I was joking, but after reading Kathy Rudy’s article “LGBTQ…Z?” in Hypatia in which she claims to “draw the discourses around bestiality/zoophilia into the realm of queer theory” I’m starting to wonder if my joke isn’t that far off. After all, there was a time when the idea of a man becoming a woman was a joke—as in this clip from Monty Python’s comedy The Life of Brian.

What Duke University professor Kathy Rudy seems to realize by arguing we should add “Z” (zoophilia) to the queer alphabet soup is that a great way to have a successful career in academia is to bring postmodern gobbledygook into absurd combinations with anything and everything.

…

I will hand it to Rudy, her article is at least comprehensible, even if it’s just as insane. Rudy begins by noting that humans who “kill animals, force them to breed with each other, eat them, surround them, train them, hunt them, nail them down and cut them open for science” are considered “normal, functioning members of society. Yet having sex with animals remains an almost unspeakable anathema.”

…

While some might conclude that, since we wouldn’t shag a pig, we also shouldn’t confine one to a gestation crate, Rudy’s reasoning seems to be that if we already force terrible things on animals, then why not also screw them? If you’re a cow, having a human copulate with you can’t be as bad as going to the slaughterhouse, right? Besides, Fido already humps my leg so why don’t I hump him?

Technically, Rudy claims “my argument is not for or against humans having sex with animals, but is a meditation on both the elusive nature of sex itself and the subjectivities of human versus nonhuman animals.” She never explicitly promotes sex with animals, but considering that the entire point of the article is to call into question the taboo against having sex with animals, well…

It’s as if I said I’m not advocating for pedophilia but then proceed to undermine all the reasons for being against pedophilia. “Why not?” might not be as strong as “you must” but it leads to the same outcome, namely, radical permission.

As is often the case with academic postmodernism, the claims being made become less clear the more the author writes:

“Put differently, queer theory teaches us that it's not really a question of whether we have ‘sex’ with animals; rather it's about recognizing and honoring the affective bonds many of us share with other creatures. Those intense connections between humans and animals could be seen as revolutionary, in a queer frame. But instead, pet love is sanitized and rendered harmless by the presence of the interdict against bestiality. The discourses of bestiality and zoophilia form the identity boundary that we cannot pass through if we want our love of animals to be seen as acceptable.”

Rudy’s elusive, wishy-washy prose is a common rhetorical tactic. The goal is to avoid clearly committing to an argument so that one can simultaneously promote radical nuttiness while removing oneself from the burden of defending it. After all, if the claim really were as basic as “we love our pets but not in a sexual way” then the article wouldn’t be, as Rudy puts it, “revolutionary.”

The only way the article can be truly “transgressive” is for her to argue that our love for animals is already sexual or should become sexual. After all, Rudy seems uncertain as to whether she is sexually attracted to her own dogs:

“I know I love my dogs with all my heart, but I can’t figure out if that love is sexually motivated.”

For some reason, I’ve never grappled with this problem, but then again, I’m not versed in Queer theory.

…

Indeed, what is the difference between inserting a piece of bread into a toaster and penetrative sex? According to postmodernism, nothing at all! As Rudy explains:

“The widespread social ban on bestiality rests on a solid notion of what sex is, and queer theory persuasively argues we simply don't have such a thing. The interdict against bestiality can only be maintained if we think we always/already know what sex is. And, according to queer theory, we don’t.”

Despite earlier claiming that she is not advocating for sex with animals, Rudy has just provided us with an indirect argument for it. She states that we can only maintain a ban on sex with animals if we know what sex is. She next states that queer theory has proven that we don’t know what sex is. Therefore, we cannot ban sex with animals. She suggests her indirect argument again at the end of the article by masking it in the form of a question:

“But without a coherent and agreed upon definition of sex (which queer theory persuasively argues is impossible), the line between ‘animal lover’ and zoophile is not only thin, it is nonexistent. How do we know beforehand whether loving them constitutes ‘sex,’ and how can such sex be so dangerous if it so nebulous and undefined?”

Not only is it false that we have no idea what sex is, but it is also false to say that we require a taxonomy of every kind of sexual feeling before we can forbid certain acts (such as coitus) with animals (or children and the cognitively disabled, such as Chris Chan’s mother with dementia).

I may not be able to verbally capture the feeling of sexual desire or pleasure any more than I can define pain or joy or sadness. It’s something I know from experience. What I can say for sure is that what I felt kissing my grandma’s cheek is definitely not in the same category as what I felt kissing my boyfriend. Rudy may be unclear as to whether she is turned on by a slurp from her dog, but I personally have never felt confusion on the matter.

…

Yet, the true perversion, according to Rudy, is not to lust after camels, dogs, parakeets or naked mole rats but to set up the sexual boundary between humans and animals in the first place:

“Put differently, both animal rights (3) and psychosocial perspectives [which view desire for animals as mental illness] (4) do not believe that borders can be crossed. Queer theory, on the other hand, tells us that few of us have stable identities anymore, that borders are always crossed. We're all changing, shifting, splitting ourselves up this way and that. It labels these processes ‘hailing,’ ‘suturing,’ and ‘interpolation’; where once we saw ourselves affiliated in one way, a new interpretive community emerges to capture our passions and move us differently. I am asking the reader to entertain the possibility that the same kinds of shifts and disruptions happen with categories like ‘human,’ ‘rabbit,’ ‘ape,’ or ‘dog.’”

And no woke paper would be complete without the accusation of violence:

“Both positions [animal rights activists and bestialists] oppose sex with animals, and in doing so they perform a kind of violence on animals by lumping them all together into one seamless identity.”

That’s right. Physically violating an animal does not constitute violence. Words do. Especially when those words reject postmodern queer theory.

…

Unlike the many women who have been cancelled for claiming that males aren’t women, Rudy’s August 2012 article (republished March 2020) for Hypatia did not result in her being fired, censored, or otherwise deplatformed.

It’s not as if no one came across her article either. According to Altmetric, Rudy’s article is in the “top 5% of all research outputs scored by Altmetric” and is “One of the highest-scoring outputs from this source (#1 of 704)” and has an Altmetrics attention score in the 99th percentile.

When Rebecca Tuvel wrote a paper for Hypatia suggesting that the same assumptions that ground transgenderism could be used to support transracialism, scholars demanded Hypatia retract the article and the journal's Facebook page posted an apology on behalf of the associate editors. Rudy, on the other hand, was invited to deliver the commencement speech for North Carolina Service Dogs in December 2012.

We must remember that the word “transgressive” has relative, not absolute, meaning. What is considered “normal” defines what is considered “transgressive.” If queer theory articles on bestiality result in publication and validation, then is Rudy truly, in her words, “transgressive”? Or is Hypatia, rather, representative of a new establishment norm that is just as desirous of punishing transgressors—now in the form of TERFs and other enemies of the postmodern left—as the old establishment was eager to fire and ostracize homosexuals? As The Who sang, “Meet the new boss / Same as the old boss.”

#devin jane buckley #42.pub #kathy rudy #lgbtq…z?

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mysteriesmuse · 4 years

Text

Douxie Casperan x Reader One Shot

Here's a fluffy kind of one shot I just wanted to do. I got inspired from late nights coming back from band practices and gigs and things that I really miss doing during this time. Hope you Enjoy! :)

Title: Just Another Normal Day (Part 1)

The night was young and the atmosphere pleasurable. The pelting rain and the rhythmic swish of windshield wipers and the push and pull of the wind tempting.

You drummed you're fingers absent mindedly as you hummed a new song from Ash Dispersal Pattern.

"Oh, you like that one?" Douxie called from the sidewalk ruffling his now wet bangs. With a click he opened the door to the backseat and placed his guitar case on the floorboards.

Turning around you grinned with new found energy, "If I do recall I helped you come up with the idea for it."

"Aye, that you did and it was nuclear." He winked with a chuckle before closing the door and jumping into the passenger seat.

"You got all our stuff packed up yet?" Archie joked stretching in your lap. The two of you had gone to wait for Douxie to finish the last bit of packing with the band.

"Yea, we're all done for the night."

"So, we're not taking the drum set back tonight?" You asked with a brow raised. Archie also turned around to stare at Douxie as you stroked his fur.

"That we are not." Doux replied. You and Arch gave each other an incredulous look.

"Alright," you drawled. Arch purred crossing over into Douxies lap.

"About time, that Drummer really ought to get a larger car. It's exhausting using our time to drag it back for them."

"I have to agree with Arch," you replied carefully pulling out of the back parking lot, "The late drive there and back, plus whatever ghouls you've got cooked up makes up for a long night."

"Don't forget his actual cooking." Arch replied waving a paw and laughing heartily.

"Oh my gosh." You choked before laughing wildly with Archie.

Douxie had some qualms with the centuries ovens. Mainly he kept setting stuff a flame and there had been many singed edges of clothing and several burns tended to late in the night.

"Hey, I've been alive for centuries! Give me a break." Doux exclaimed throwing his hands into the air pouting. He waited by slouching into the passenger seat with his arms crossed as you as Archie finished laughing.

Leaping off Douxies lap Arch went to dig in a bag from the back seat. Promptly Douxie yelped sputtering as he reaches for the object that was chucked at him.

"Twizzlers?" He called estacially. He pulled the corner open with his teeth before grabbing a fistful and ripping off a piece.

Glancing over at him with a smile you waved your hand, "Well, we," you said gesturing between you and Archie. "We thought that you had done such a fantastic job with this first big gig of yours with Ash Dispersal Pattern that we'd go and get you some."

"Yes, we're proud of you Douxie. Your music is really good." Archie added from the back seat. Swallowing down a laugh, goodnaturedly, Archie smiles at his familiar.

Douxies lean cheek puffed up like a chipmunk as he chewed the Twizzlers. His cheekbones lifted up and squished up crinkling the corner of his hazel eyes. The edgey eyeliner Claire insisted on doing crinkled at the corners and smudged at the side of his eyes twinkling as they pasted each routine lamppost.

After a long admiring glance you turned back to the road. After getting off on your chosen exit you yawned.

Doux noted this turning over and watching as you continued driving. Looking out he recongized the surroundings and figured it'd be 20 minutes until you got home.

Once the said 20 minutes were up you managed find a parking space out front the old bookstore.

"Hm." You were currently holding a sleeping Archie in your arms waiting for Douxie to get his things out of the back and open the front door with his keys.

The slight breeze blowing blew through your t-shirt as you held Archie closer in front to block the nipping wind.

Thud.

Douxie turned in from the road and walked up with his guitar on his back, duffle bag on his arm, and keys in the other. "I know, love," he grinned sleepily while walking past and gently bumping shoulders with you to make it to the door.

You waited back, swaying slightly and holding Archie as you involuntarily shivered from another set of breezes.

Douxie fumbled with the key ring in his hand before finding the right key and inserting it. He walked in propping the door open with his foot as you walked in with Archie.

You continued as Douxie went back to lock up the car and the store.

“Y/N did we make it back already-“

“Yeah, we’re back. Although-“ you turned around seeing Douxie doing some light cleaning about the store “I think you have some more time to sleep before you guys go patrolling.”

Archie nuzzled you under your chin and purred as you walked up the stairs to the living area. You then gently placed him onto the sofa to rest.

Walking over into the kitchen you began to pull out ingredients for a quick meal.

“Oh fuzzbuckets.”

Douxie exclaimed from downstairs a light crash being heard following it. You sighed before going back to pulling ingredients. There would not be a Douxie Disaster in the kitchen today if you had any say in it. Plus, you had enough energy left to whip something up for the boys.

You grabbed the cherry tomatoes from the basket sitting on the counter and sliced them up. The leafy baby spinach leafs all washed, and you quickly cracked through cracking all those eggs and seasoning them.

Douxie had begun walking upstairs. The aroma beginning to waft in the little living area.

Archie sat at the table, bright and awake now, “Are those the tomatoes that the Nunez’s gave us?”

“They sure are.” You replied without looking up from the pan.

Douxie nodded in acknowledgment of the conversation. He did recall you returning with tomatoes as a gift from the Nunez’s the other day.

Striding over to the fridge he grabbed the bag of bagels and put one half of one into the into the toaster. The other half set into the bag before twisting it back up and setting the bag back into the fridge. The other half stored away for another day.

“Want some coffee, rockstar?” Archie asked from atop the counter as he pressed buttons on the coffee machine. His paws rifling through the box of filters.

“Yeah, we’re going to need it if we’re trapping the rest of those grizzly gruesomes.”

“Is that was it is this week in Arcadia?” You asked flipping over the omelette with your spatula.

“Yes, although I believe the term the locals prefer to use would be raccoons.”

“This is true,” Douxie added.

The locals didn’t like to talk about the undergoings of their town so openly. They much preferred keeping it under wraps. Plus, Arcadia had so many troublesome creatures that they couldn’t bother to name them all.

The kitchen was filled with a quick bought of laughter as the three laughed about this running inside joke in the town.

“It’s done,” you called coming over and placing the omelettes on plates for everyone before bringing them to the table.

Archie was already there waiting eagerly as you set his plate down.

“Are you coming Douxie?” You asked hearing him move about in the kitchen.

“Almost done,” he called. The cream cheese was being spread across the toasted side of the bagel. Nodding in satisfaction at the amount Douxie went about putting the things he used away before quickly coming over to the table to eat.

Your hungry eyes watched as Douxie slid the bagel and cream cheese onto your plate.

Immediately you picked it up and took a bite, “Fhank you Douxie.” You cheered, the thanks muffled by the bagel in your mouth. Shaking his head with a smile Douxie ruffles your hair before rounding the table to sit in his chair.

“These are good tomatoes,” Douxie comments taking a mouthful.

“It’s excellent cooking Y/N.” Archie replied licking his paws to clean at his face.

“If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to use the litter box before we go.” With that Archie hopped off the chair and made his way towards the bathroom.

Licking your lips you stood up and grabbed the dishes, “I’ll take care of these.” You replied placing them in the dishwasher.

“I don’t suppose this will be a quick job?” You asked from the kitchen.

“Don’t wait up for me. It’ll be long,” Douxie chuckled as he stood up and began chugging his mug of coffee.

“Yeah I know...” you turned towards him, “I liked your set list tonight. Lots of cool new songs thrown in there.”

Douxie paused his swing of coffee taking in your Cheshire grin, his eyes round as saucers, “Did you?”

What were you giving him that look for?

“Yes.” You replied smiling as you swaggered over towards him slinging your arms over his shoulders, “I know what you did Casonova. You’re not so sly.”

Douxie smirked he knew you were smart enough to pick up on it.

“Do you now?” He grinned placing his hands on your forearms as you forked through the hair at the base of his neck.

“And did you like it?” Douxie whispered opening his eyes from the listful combing of your fingers.

Leaning in you gave him a lopsided grin, “I loved it.”

Douxie smiled wistfully looking at your expression. “I’m glad,” he replied curtly, restlessly pulling you in.

The colliding foreheads, bridges of noses, did nothing to deter you guys. It was part of the distinct pleasure of normalcy.

Breaking apart your chest heaved up and down as you panted.

Douxie grinned down at you as he rested his forehead against your. “Somebody was impatient to get that kiss,” reaching up to feel his bottom lip he distinctly felt the twinging throb of esctasy, or perhaps that’s just from where you gave your playful love bite.

A low hum escaped your throat as you shook your head against Douxies forehead, “I was being patient. I just couldn’t take it anymore.”

“Ah, well I do still get my mission kiss don’t I?” Douxie beamed staring into your eyes.

Archie lurked by the door licking himself waiting for the nights escapades.

“I don’t see why not?” You shrugged watching Douxie close his eyes with puckered lips.

Instead you leaned around to give him a sweet peck on the cheek watching him blink and take a step back in confusion.

“Oh, you wound me!” Doux exclaimed placing a hand to his forehead dramatically.

Scoffing you rolled you eyes, “Oh calm down, you get plenty.”

Bringing a hand to your chin as if you were contemplating it you extended your hand and held Douxies chin with you thumb and forefinger. Tilting it side to side you let go with one final flick laughing. Douxie also began laughing too.

In a grand sweeping gesture he extended his arms out wide. “Oh~” he began singing in a false high note. Slapping a hand and dragging it down your face you knew what he was doing.

Not without some giggles escaping you walked over and began pushing him towards the door, “No, no. You have a job to do. There’s no time for the pitiful bard routine!”

The playful halfhearted shoving and swatting elicited many chuckles as Douxie practically put all his weight on you.

“Oh dear,” Archie replied rounding the corner of the hallway, “Not the playful bard routine.”

You grunted shoving Douxie with your shoulder, “Yes.”

With a flick of his tail Archie replied, “I don’t think I can help you with that Y/N.”

“Seriously?” You called watching Archie head back towards the front door.

“Seriously.”

Leaning back comfortably Douxie crossed his arms loosely and rested the back of his head on yours, “How are you doing down there?”

“Oh, just fine,” You huffed. The only advantage Douxie had was being outrageously handsome and lean. However, he was also very light.

In a fast paced motion you began shoving him towards the door.

“Hey!” Douxie squawked flailing his arms, “How are you pushing me?”

“You should know by now that I can push you.”

Laughing you two made it to the top of the stairs, Douxie still playfully resisting, but good natured he relented and made his way down the stairs.

Leaning over the banister on your forearms you waved, “Have fun boys!”

“Farewell, Deliciae! Aphrodite herself is jealous," Douxie exclaimed with a bow and wink before walking out the door with Archie.

Letting out a breathy laugh you looked down at you forearms a blush rising to your cheeks. You let out a sigh while smiling and shook your head, “Always the flirt.”

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devil-in-the-d3tails · 4 years

Text

It’s the End of the World As We Know It - Chapter 5

summary: During the international quarantine in your first-ever pandemic, the people around you slowly begin to disappear. As the world grows quieter and quieter, you find yourself all alone-- no power, no friends, and only one goal: to find whoever of your friends might be left and reunite with them.You're naive to think anything can be that simple. As you're faced with ever-increasing loneliness, you run into some boys who apparently went to the same high school as you. Will you join forces with them to figure out your strange circumstances together, or will you brave loneliness in a world that is slowly crumbling apart?

Link on AO3!

words: 5,453

rating: M - Mature

genre: angst/humor, romance, adventure, apocalypse AU, reader-insert

warnings: sort of depressing content, a smidge of violence, cursing, drug use, alcohol consumption

a/n: thank you for reading! <3

- It’s Loud in Here -

When the three of you make it back and hide your car in the same place as before, the gym is empty, except for an excited Indie, who comes bounding up to greet you, Bokuto, and Kuroo with kisses and a wagging tail. You’re a little alarmed at the lack of Kenma and Oikawa, but Kuroo and Bokuto aren’t too worried.

“Kenma’s probably wandering around the school, he does that sometimes. And Oikawa… eh, I dunno, he probably bothered Iwaizumi enough to hitch along with him and Akaashi.” Kuroo explains, and flops down on his bed. “We can move all your stuff in here after a quick nap.” He declares, and you’re in agreement with him-- you desperately need to shower, so you retrieve your toiletries from the car, and head off to the girls’ locker room.

Unfortunately, the water doesn’t get warm at all, but you can’t find it within yourself to care at the moment. You watch as the water cascades down your sore body-- you’ve been manhandled way too much today, and you can already feel the bruises forming around your ribs where that creepy red-head grabbed you. Squirting shampoo into your hair, you furiously scrub at your scalp in an attempt to clean yourself of all the shit you just went through this morning.

The image of your dad’s car won’t leave your mind-- it’s like you see it right in front of you every time you blink, a constant image in the back of your mind that you know you won’t be able to shake. How could someone just disappear like that? And why was it only the adults? Callie had said that her sister disappeared, but her sister was at least thirty…

Your head hurts, but you can’t stop thinking about it. Is there a way to reverse whatever happened? Is there an age limit as far as who disappears? Is it aliens?

You laugh a little to yourself at that thought. While you run the conditioner through your hair, you brush it out, too, and you sigh in absolute happiness as you wash your body with your usual soap from home. It’s pretty nice taking a shower in these dreary locker rooms, since nobody else is here to bother you.

Having washed hair and a washed body truly makes you feel like a new person, and you sigh happily after drying off and slipping on fresh, warm clothes. You even pull on your fuzzy socks, and as you pad back into the gym, you’re met with Kuroo and Bokuto, passed out on their respective beds, and you chuckle to yourself, opting to take a nap on Akaashi’s bed for the time being.

You’re not sure what time it is when you wake up, but Kenma has since returned, as you’re woken up by the sound of pages turning. You sit up, rubbing at your eyes, to find Kenma sitting on his bed, munching on some chips while he reads the book in his lap. He looks up at you, blinks in greeting, and goes back to reading.

“Um… hey,” You say awkwardly, as Bokuto and Kuroo are still very much asleep. Kenma looks up at you again, and you feel sort of scrutinized under his intense, calculating gaze.

“Hey,” He responds, and again, goes back to reading.

You frown-- you don’t want to bother him, so you decide to get the rest of your shit from your car. Bokuto and Kuroo have done enough heavy lifting for today, you decide, as you exit the gym to retrieve your groceries, bed, and all the other supplies you packed.

Kenma’s gaze follows you occasionally on your multiple trips to and from the gym. You pretend not to notice, because you have no idea if you should talk to him or just ignore him-- he seems to only really like Kuroo, and “like” is a strong word for him.

You huff as you stand in front of your open trunk, your mattress resting on top of two of the folded down backseats. Hands on your hips, you narrow your eyes as you work out the logistics of hauling this thing inside-- it’s just a twin bed, really not that heavy, and the gym is literally like five feet away. But with a sigh, you look down at your feet, battered shoes covered in mud and grass-- it hasn’t completely stopped raining all day, though it’s only drizzling right now. You know that if you try to drag your mattress inside by yourself, you won’t be able to hold it completely off the ground, so one side will get all muddy and gross.

You bite the inside of your cheek-- it’s probably better to wait for Kuroo and Bokuto to wake up. They’ll be glad to do manual labor for you, and you’ll be glad to let them show off or whatever. It’s a win-win!

You reach up to close the trunk when Kenma’s voice pipes up behind you.

“Need help?”

You turn in surprise, eyes wide. Did he just talk to you? And, offer you help?

Kenma leans against the open gym door, arms crossed, same expression as always. “You’re letting in all the cold air from outside.”

Oh. He just wanted you to hurry up, not actually help you because he was feeling nice. You laugh a little to yourself, and nod at him with a smile.

“Yeah, that’d be great, actually.”

The two of you haul your bed inside with little trouble-- Kenma’s actually stronger than he looks! When it flops to the floor between Kuroo’s and Akaashi’s beds, the dark-haired boy finally stirs awake. His head was sandwiched between two pillows, you realize, and snort out a laugh.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty.” You tease, and Kuroo just grumbles in response, still not completely awake as he squints up at you and Kenma.

“You moved your bed in here?” Kuroo mumbles, rubbing at his eyes.

You nod, and gesture to Kenma. “Yeah, Kenma helped me.”

“Really?” Kuroo huffs out a laugh. “Dang Kenma, are you actually warming up to someone?”

“She was letting cold air in ‘cause she was taking so long.” Kenma rolls his eyes, and flops back on his own bed to continue to read.

“Thank you, Kenma,” You say sweetly, and lay on your bed with a happy sigh, wrapping yourself up in the blankets you brought from home.

“Man, I miss waffles.” You complain aloud, seemingly out of nowhere. Your thought process to lead you to that statement was: raining -> warm, lazy mornings -> mornings = breakfast -> breakfast = waffles, but waffles = not here anymore because toasters don’t work anymore. Maybe you could roast one over a fire? But all the frozen ones are probably weird now because they’ve been thawing out for days on end.

Kuroo laughs beside you. “Like, Eggos?”

“Yeah,” You sigh wistfully.

“I miss Crunchwrap Supremes.” Kuroo says, and it’s your turn to laugh.

“I miss Baja Blast.” You agree with a sigh.

Kuroo groans, and you meet his gaze with a grin. “Man, don’t torture me like that.”

“Maybe we can raid a Taco Bell? Baja Blast doesn’t expire, right?” You say, and Kuroo nods thoughtfully as he tucks his hands behind his head.

“If we’re gonna preserve one thing from the remnants of society, it better be fuckn’ Baja Blast.” Kuroo says, and you crack up at that.

“Yeah, fuck the pyramids or whatever--” You say,

“Dude, fuck the pyramids!” Kuroo interjects, and you laugh even more.

“-- fuck the pyramids, for real!” You smack your first into your palm. “All my homies hate the pyramids.”

“Society has advanced past the need for pyramids.” Kenma says from his place on his bed. You and Kuroo’s eyes light up, and you both sit up to hook Kenma with gleeful expressions, elated that he’s joining in on the fun. Kenma looks up from his book, and smiles a little as you and Kuroo laugh along with the joke.

Your rambunctious laughter wakes up Bokuto, who sits up with a start, even though his eyes are still squinty as he slowly regains consciousness.

“Baja Blast…?” He mumbles, and you and Kuroo can’t help but crack up even more at Bokuto’s delayed response-- even Kenma laughs, and as the rain falls heavier outside, the four of you go around naming all the things you miss from before the world ended. Video games, heaters, washing machines, all kinds of fast food, TV shows you’ll never know the ending to, movies that will never be released-- it’s all a little sad, but it’s fun to reminisce with the three guys as they crack jokes and raid your grocery haul for snacks.

“Awww, man, remember those things at like, huge malls where you could go in and fake sky-dive?” Bokuto says, and you and Kenma exchange a glance of wild confusion.

“No??” You say, and Kuroo and Bokuto exclaim in surprise.

“What?! You never went on one of those things?” Bokuto is astonished, but so are you, because you have no idea what he’s talking about.

“How does that even work?” Kenma wonders, and glares at Kuroo as the latter steals some chips from him with a grin.

“You go into this like, giant cylinder--” Kuroo starts, but Bokuto cuts in as he leaps to his feet.

“Yeah, and there’s this grate floor, and a giant fan underneath you, and you wear like, goggles and shit, and then they turn on the fan and you just get fuckn’ blasted in the air for like five minutes.” Bokuto howls with laughter, “I remember one time, me and Akaashi tried it, and holy shit-- his face--!” Bokuto can’t continue, he’s laughing so hard.

You all three join in, because Bokuto’s joy is contagious, and you can kind of picture the situation-- the prospect of seeing Akaashi as anything but calm and collected is hilarious to you.

The sun begins to set, and you’re roped into a game of toss-the-volleyball with Kuroo and Bokuto, while Kenma watches on in mild amusement.

“Check this out!” Bokuto yells as Kuroo tosses the ball up. The gray-haired boy grins wide, eyes fixated on the ball, and he leaps, only to hit the ball over an imaginary net to send it careening to the polished wood floor with a loud SMACK!

“Woah!” You exclaim, eyes wide as Bokuto’s chest puffs with pride.

“That is called a ‘spike’.” He says, hands on his hips.

You raise your eyebrows, deciding to humor him. “No waaay, tell me more!”

“Okay!” Bokuto excitedly retrieves the ball, and tosses it back to Kuroo. “Send me another one!”

“Man, I’m not a setter.” Kuroo huffs, sending a quick glare to Kenma as he tosses the ball up to Bokuto once again, who leaps up, and powerfully hits the ball so that it flies parallel to where the net would have been, and another loud SMACK! fills the gym.

“Hey, hey, hey!!” Bokuto exclaims proudly as he lands on the floor.

“Dang!” You exclaim, actually very impressed with that move. “How’d you do that?!”

“Ahh, there’s no explaining talent.” Bokuto laughs, “I’m just kiddin’! Basically, I just jump up and hit the ball like, bam! Instead of, wham! You know?” He nods, hands on his hips, and you share a quick glance with Kuroo, who just shakes his head with a smile.

“That’s kickass.” You concede, and Bokuto seems to glow with your praise.

“Hey, maybe we can show you--”

“Yoho~!”

Bokuto is cut off by a cheery Oikawa pushing the gym doors open, a dazzling smile on his handsome face like always. As Oikawa enters, he pulls his hood off of his head-- how is his hair still perfect?!-- and a soaked Akaashi and Iwaizumi follow, carrying about five bags total.

“Welcome back!” You say, inwardly relieved to see their safe return. You didn’t want to admit it earlier, but you were growing more worried with every hour that passed and they didn’t show up.

The three guys set down the bags in the designated “stuff” corner of the gym, and you, Kuroo, and Bokuto walk up to meet them there, with Kenma trailing behind.

“Well, we found some pretty useful shit this time.” Iwaizumi says proudly, and fishes around in one of the bags for a moment before procuring some walkie-talkies.

“Walkie-talkies?” You and Bokuto exclaim at the same time.

“Radios?” Kuroo corrects, and you and Bokuto roll your eyes.

“Yes to both.” Akaashi says as he helps Iwaizumi hand them out.

“This way, we can communicate easier when we go searching in L.A.” Iwaizumi says as he hands you yours.

“Oh? Are you coming with us now?” You say with a grin.

You don’t miss the quick blush that dusts Iwaizumi’s cheeks as he quickly looks away with a frown. “Oikawa begged me to.” He explains.

“Um? No, I convinced you.” Oikawa defends himself.

“Whatever. Point is, after what happened to you, it makes sense that we should all stick together. Splitting up is a bad idea, especially since… y’know, people are still disappearing.” Iwaizumi says, and a solemnity passes over the group.

Oikawa clears his throat. “Here, I got this for you.” He hands you a bag of cotton balls and nail polish remover. Your eyes widen-- you looked everywhere in the grocery store for this stuff, but couldn’t find it a few days ago.

“T-thank you!” You say as you take the items from Oikawa. He gives you a dazzling smile in response, which brings a blush to your cheeks, having all his attention on you.

“Your nails were looking pretty bad this morning, I noticed you picking at them-- so I figured this would help!” He explains, to which Iwaizumi punches him in the arm. “Ow! Hey, I’m just being honest!”

“Gee, thanks.” You deadpan, your appreciation now replaced with irritation. You decide to shrug it off, though-- this shows that his heart was in the right place, at least.

“We haven’t even shown you guys the best thing,” Oikawa recovers pretty quickly, and reaches into his own bag, to reveal a plethora of Four-Lokos and White Claws. “It’s time to get fucked up. It’s the least we deserve.”

“Dude!” Kuroo exclaims, and fishes around in his pocket to pull out his hefty sum of weed, to which Oikawa’s eyes light up. The two boys grin at each other, and shake hands warmly at their shared train of thought.

[-]

The boys lead you to a barren spot behind the gym outside, where a fire pit has been set up. You’re surprised at how quickly Kuroo and Iwaizumi can get a fire started, considering it’s still cold as hell, even though the rain has stopped for now. Pretty soon, they’re warming a kettle of water over the crackling flame, and you and Kenma are sitting side-by-side underneath one of your blankets on the chairs you brought outside, while the rest of the guys huddle around the fire in their own chairs.

Instant ramen is passed out, and soon, your hands are warmed by the boiling water heating up your styrofoam cup of noodles. You blow on it gently, and soon, all of you are wolfing down the most delicious instant noodles you’ve ever eaten in your life.

After dinner, the fire is put out, and you all retreat back inside the gym just as the rain begins to pick up again.

“Aight, I don’t have too much paper, so we’re just gonna pass it around, is that cool?” Kuroo asks as you all settle on the floor, sitting on your respective pillows in a circle. He’s already preparing the joint, packing it so it’s a little thicker than what you’ve seen in the movies. After expertly rolling it up, he licks the edge of the paper, and seals it before lighting it. He takes a drag, and exhales happily as Oikawa, sitting next to him, cracks open a Four Loko. You’ve decided to go with a White Claw for now, since you’re a bit of a lightweight on account of your inexperience.

Kuroo passes the joint to Oikawa first, who passes it to Iwaizumi, then Kenma, then Akaashi, and then you. You frown, and laugh a little as you sheepishly ask, “Um, how do I do it?”

Bokuto laughs beside you, and gently takes it from you. “You just breathe in, hold it for a second, and then breathe out.” He shows you, and coughs a little at first, waving away the smoke. “Here, try!”

You nod with a smile, and do as he says: wrap your lips around the blunt, breathe in, hold it--

You almost cough up a lung on step two. The boys around you laugh, not making fun of you, just amused at your naivete.

“Try again, try again.” Oikawa encourages, and you do, and actually manage to do a successful hit. You’re still coughing a little, your eyes watering, but you’re having fun.

You take a sip, and the blunt is passed around once again.

“So, you got all your stuff back, I see!” Oikawa says as he takes another hit. “What happened there?”

“Shit was insane, dude.” Kuroo shakes his head and runs his hand through his hair.

“Yeah, those assholes that scared her before were hiding out in Asahi’s house!” Bokuto says, “They had guns, man!”

“What?” Iwaizumi exclaims right as he’s about to take a drag.

“Yeah, it was insane!” You chime in after taking a few more sips of your drink. “That red-head grabbed me right as I was about to run back into the car, but then I punched him!” You say proudly, and hold up your bruised knuckles as proof.

“Yeah, and you know what she said when she did it?” Kuroo laughs, “She goes, ‘Fuck outta here!’”

The entire group is impressed and joins in on your laughter, and you just blush with a shrug.

“What can I say? I’m a badass.” You toss your hair over your shoulder.

“Yeah, you are.” Kuroo affirms warmly, and you share a smile with him for a moment before Akaashi hands you the blunt.

“He was a redhead?” Kenma pipes up, and you nod as you exhale. The musky smell of weed is starting to stink up the whole gym, but you don’t really care. You’ve only taken two hits, but you’re already feeling warm and tingly-- your mind is a little fuzzy, and paired with your drink, you’re generally just feeling amazing.

Kenma must’ve said something, because he’s looking at you expectantly.

“Hm? Sorry.” You say and sit up straighter.

“I said, he sounds like a kid from my history class. I think his name’s Tendou?” Kenma repeats, and glances at Kuroo, who just shrugs.

“I don’t know a lot of juniors.” He says, taking another glug of his drink.

Kenma just hums thoughtfully, and takes a hit before passing it back to Kuroo.

“Okay.” Oikawa says with a grin, and turns to hook you with his chocolate brown gaze. “So, how come we’ve never seen you before? You went to Karasuno, right?”

“Yeah,” You laugh sheepishly, and are surprised to find you’ve already finished your drink. “I wasn’t really part of any clubs or anything. I mean, I went to Yearbook Club every once in a while, ‘cause I liked to take pictures.”

“You ever go to any volleyball games?” Oikawa asks.

“No,” You say with a big sigh. “Don’t hate me!”

“Ugh!” Oikawa exclaims in disgust. “That’s it, get her out of here.”

You laugh along with the others, and decide to play along with the bit. “Alright, bet.” You say, and rise to your feet, but immediately stumble back down, right into Bokuto’s surprised lap.

“Woah--hey, hey, hey!” Bokuto exclaims, his voice jumping a few octaves as he flings his arms above him to avoid touching you in any disrespectful way.

You dissolve into a pile of giggles, and reach up to snatch the blunt from Bokuto’s hand, taking another drag before leaning back to look upside down at Kenma, passing it to him, who grins down at you.

“Did your boyfriend disappear, too?” Oikawa asks out of nowhere, and you look over in time to see Iwaizumi smack Oikawa’s arm. “Ow! Come on, we were all curious!”

You just huff out a laugh, and sit up with a bit of trouble, leaving behind a furiously blushing Bokuto.

“I didn’t have a boyfriend. Never really have, ‘cause I don’t count elementary school.” You answer with a shrug, and glance at Kuroo, only to find him staring at you intently. You raise an eyebrow, exuding confidence as you smirk at him. “What?”

Kuroo just blinks, and shrugs as he takes the blunt from Kenma. “Nothin.” He says, and takes a drag, finally breaking eye contact with you.

The blunt is passed around-- you’ve lost count by now-- and Kenma suddenly stands, his eyes shining with excitement.

“I almost forgot-- I found something really cool today in one of the classrooms.” He says, and stumbles over to his bed to reach into his backpack, and pulls out an actual boom box.

“Wooaaahhh!” Kuroo and Bokuto say at the same time as Kenma brings it over.

“There’s even some cassette tapes for it,” Kenma says, and puts the boom box in the middle of the group, then pulls out some cassettes from his jacket pocket to view the options. You lean over to Kenma, across Bokuto’s lap-- which makes him blush again-- and you’re pleasantly surprised by the options.

“Dude, they have Black Sabbath?” You exclaim. “Where did you even find this?”

“Mr. Little’s classroom.” Kenma answers, and grins when he finds a specific tape. “Got it. Check this out.” He inserts the tape, and presses play.

After a second, ‘hot girl bummer’ by blackbear starts playing, much to everyone’s surprise.

“What the-- how did that get on a cassette?” Oikawa exclaims, and Kenma grins.

“I made this tape for Mr. Little earlier this year to prove to him that newer music is pretty good-- but he said he’d only listen to it if it was on a cassette. So, I made a cassette tape with a lot of modern songs on it.” He explains, looking down at the boom box with a smile, like it’s his little baby-- his creation that has managed to survive past the end of the world.

“Kenma!!” You coo, pouting your lip out as you look at him with so much unfiltered adoration. “This is so cool! And this is so exciting! Thank you so much!!” Tears actually well up in your eyes, and Bokuto quickly hurries to wipe them away with his thumb.

“Oh, God!! Oh, no! Why are you crying?!” He exclaims, cradling your face in his hands to bring your gaze up to his.

“I’m just--” You sniffle. “I’m really happy, and like, I’ve just had such a shitty day-- or like, life, lately. And, like--” You sniffle again, and wipe away some snot with your sleeve as you turn to look at the group of cross-faded guys around you, who all look extremely worried at your sudden cry-fest. “It’s just… I care so much about you guys, and we barely know each other! But, like… I don’t know, you guys have just taken care of me, and you’ve been so nice, and I just… I’m just really happy!” You babble, and in an instant, Bokuto wraps you up in a bone-crushing hug.

“We care about you too!” Bokuto affirms, and then suddenly hauls you up to your feet, still hugging you fiercely. He spins you around with a flourish, and you’re extremely disoriented, but happy nonetheless. “Let’s dance!” He says, and grabs your hands, and starts swaying around in a really dumb way.

You laugh, but join in anyways-- and soon, the entire group is dancing like idiots. The entire experience is a bit of a haze, as your head has grown fuzzier, your limbs heavier, and your heart lighter. You feel so at ease with yourself, like you could say or do anything, and you wouldn’t have any regrets. You really should’ve smoked weed a lot earlier in life if it made you feel this good.

The songs that are on Kenma’s playlist are really good, and really fun to dance to-- you think for a moment that this experience is even better than prom, apocalypse included. You don’t quite feel your feet as you stumble and dance around, but pretty soon, you feel a really strong urge to pee. Two-- or was it three?-- White Claws seem to have gone right through you, so you mumble something about needing to use the bathroom and that you’ll be right back to Iwaizumi. Or maybe it was Akaashi.

In no time at all, you’re relieved and washing your hands at the sink. Being in the school bathroom with the lights off is once again a strange experience-- especially since you’re very high and pretty drunk. This moment sort of feels like a liminal space-- a save point in a video game, so that you can collect your fuzzy thoughts, only to watch them float down the drain with the water that’s running over your hands. You’re not sure how long you watch the faucet run, but you’re amazed at what you’re seeing-- indoor plumbing really is the most underrated thing about society.

“Man, fuck the pyramids!” You laugh to yourself as you remember your jokes with Kuroo earlier. Man, he really is cute. All of them are-- you’re really the luckiest girl in the end of the world. You finally turn off the faucet, and float out of the bathroom, out to the dark hallway that leads back to the gym.

You’re surprised to find Kuroo leaning on a wall, hands in his pockets. He looks up when he catches sight of you, and smiles sweetly. He doesn’t grin, or smirk like usual-- he looks like a young boy right now, and you can’t help but smile back.

“Hi,” You say, surprised at your quiet voice and how it seems to cut through the silence of the hallway loudly. The sound of music is still coming from the gym, but this hallway still feels very removed from reality, like a little pocket that only you and Kuroo exist in.

“Hey,” He says, and licks his chapped lips as he looks away, and rubs the back of his neck. “Um, sorry, just wanted to check on you ‘cause you were taking a while.”

“Ohhh,” You say, and smile sheepishly. “I was just… watching the water.”

“Cool.” Kuroo nods, and you both stare at each other for a moment. Kuroo’s eyes are a little glazed, a little red, and you’re sure you look the same. He swallows, and you watch as his Adam’s apple bobs with the motion. “Um, I wanted to apologize.”

“Huh? For what?” You’re surprised, to say the least. He helped you out so much today-- he actually risked his life for you (and your groceries).

“For doubting you.” He says, and shoves his hands in his pockets even further. “Earlier, when I didn’t tell you your groceries were in Asahi’s house. I didn’t tell you ‘cause I didn’t think you could pull off getting them back. And, like… I dunno, that wasn’t cool of me. So, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. And, that, uh…” He shrugs, and finally glances at you. “I believe in you.”

You’re struck dumb as your mouth drops open in surprise-- you’re not sure what to say. Even if you were sober, this would surprise you. You quickly close your mouth, and realize you need to say something, because you don’t want Kuroo to feel weird, or like you hate him.

But, you can’t think of anything to say at the moment-- so, you follow your feet as you walk up to him, and proceed to wrap your arms around his middle, resting your head against his broad, warm chest.

“Thank you, Kuroo.” You say, and squeeze him a little tighter when his arms wrap around you after a moment. He rests his chin on the crown of your head, and laughs out a sigh of relief. You two stay like that for a while-- you could fall asleep standing up, with how at peace you feel right now. Your high, combined with Kuroo’s warmth, and how safe you feel bundled up in his arms, makes the world melt away. With a happy sigh, you pull away a little bit to look up at him with a dumb, happy smile. He looks down at you, just as dumb, and just as happy. “Hey, I believe in you, too. Even though you piss me off sometimes.”

You feel the rumble of Kuroo’s laugh from his chest, and you lean your cheek into his hand as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I’m always gonna piss you off.” He mumbles, and you roll your eyes with a grin. You watch as he licks his lips again-- it’s a subconscious thing to do, a normal tick that anyone and everyone does, but for some reason, watching Kuroo do it right now, it’s the most captivating thing for you. Your gaze slowly travels from his lips to his bright, hazel eyes, only to find that he’s been gazing at you just as long as you’ve been gazing at him. He takes a deep, shaky breath, and seems to have a stream of conflicting thoughts go through his head, but you’re very sure of yourself as you reach up, and cradle his face between your hands. You gently rub your thumb back and forth over his cheek-- he feels so warm, and it’s only then that you notice that he’s blushing. One of your hands travels further, into his dark hair, which you’re surprised to find, is extremely soft.

You giggle then, which surprises Kuroo, and you bite your lip as you try to hold back your laughter. “Your hair’s always so messy.”

Kuroo huffs out a laugh, and rolls his eyes. “Gimme a break, it’s the end of the world.”

Your smile just grows wider, and you can’t help but stare at him-- something about this moment makes you feel so vulnerable, but so incredibly safe. You wonder if Kuroo feels the same-- and he’d never tell you, but he does (just because it’s you).

Kuroo gently reaches up to grab your wrist, and pull it from his hair. Your hand drifts from his grasp, to trail your fingers along the lines of his palm-- you watch your fingers gently ghost over his skin, and he watches, too, completely engrossed in your movements. Somehow, his fingers ghost over your own, and travel to your bruised knuckles. His fingers ghost over the blue and purple skin, a frown pulling the corners of his mouth down as his eyebrows knit together the longer he stares at your bruised hand. You lazily intertwine your fingers with his, and look back up at him as he looks back to you. You’re both holding your breaths-- for the first time, Kuroo looks nervous. Is it nervousness? Anticipation? His eyes flit to your lips when your tongue darts out to lick them, and then back to your eyes.

You’re both leaning in to each other, subconsciously or intentionally, you’re not sure which-- but you know that you’re super okay with it. Your eyelids flutter when you feel Kuroo’s breath fan over your lips, and you feel Kuroo’s grip tighten around your waist, which sends sparks of excitement coursing through your body, and you feel electric and buzzed, and you flutter your eyes closed as the two of you move closer. Your nose brushes his, and he inhales sharply at the contact, and you feel his thumb rub up and down against your back, and he presses you against him, closer, closer, and your heart is thundering in your ears and all throughout your body, and--

Just like that, it’s all gone. Kuroo takes a step back, blushing furiously just like you, and you’re surprised and really cold from his absence.

“U-uhm…” He runs a hand through his hair, and clears his throat as he looks away. “Sorry. Uh-- yeah. Sorry.” He mumbles, and quickly turns away to walk to the opposite end of the hallway to disappear into the boys’ bathroom.

You’re left standing there, lips parted, heart hammering, the cold slowly seeping back into your bones, and as Everybody Talks by Neon Trees starts to play in the gym, you slowly begin to feel the sharp sting of rejection.

#haikyuu fanfiction #haikyu fanfiction #haikyuu x reader #kuroo x reader #iwaizumi x reader #oikawa x reader #bokuto x reader #akaashi x reader #reader insert

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honeypwark · 4 years

Text

[ Breaking and Entering ]

↳ Pre-Debut era

↳ Katie kidnaps Songi and Yuna. Chiyuu joins them as they go to their new dorm. They tell stories.

m.list

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The girls in the dorm all sleep peacefully. While the two smaller rooms in the dorm sleep two and four girls respectively, the largest room of the dorm is home to eight girls, all of whom are tucked into their beds comfortably and snoozing away. The room is neat and organized, mostly thanks to the eldest, Heo Songi. This means that when a figure silently eases the window open and slips through it to land lightly on her feet inside the room, there is nothing for her to trip on.

As if her motherly instincts kick in while she sleeps, Songi wakes despite the intruder not making a noise. Songi doesn’t understand the tingling feeling on the back of her neck until she looks out at the room and spots the shadowy figure. She freezes in fear, watching in horror as the figure walks across the room to the young girl that sleeps on the top bed of the far bunk.

The figure shakes Ahn Yuna awake gently. Songi can hear that she says something to Yuna but not what. Yuna doesn’t start screaming as she wakes and sees who has woken her, only sitting up and rubbing her eyes sleepily. The figure steps away from the bunk and tip toes across the room to Songi herself.

As moonlight is cast across the figure’s face, Songi’s fear is immediately gone and she rolls her eyes. She sits up as the figure gets closer.

“What are you doing here, Katie?” Songi whispers to her unhappily.

Katie Kim crouches beside Songi’s bunk and grins her signature cheeky grin up at the other girl.

“I’m here to kidnap you.”

Songi rolls her eyes, “Right.”

“Throw on a coat and meet me at street level.”

“Why?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“I’m fine here, thanks.”

“Okay, guess I’ll just wander around Seoul at one in the morning with Chiyuu and Yuna without any supervision, then.”

Songi knows what she’s doing. She’s making her motherly instincts kick in, basically guilt tripping her into coming so the younger girls will have someone actually responsible to look after them.

“Fine.”

Katie’s grin widens, “Great.”

Katie walks back over to the window.

“Where you going? I thought we were going somewhere?”

“We are,” Katie assures her, “I have to get something from my dorm that would have made my breaking and entering venture much less successful.”

Katie slips back out through the window with a practiced ease that makes Songi uneasy.

Five minutes or so later, Songi stands outside of the apartment building SM’s trainee dorms are located in. Yuna stands in the February cold with her, another young trainee Kang Chiyuu at her other side. Chiyuu had already been waiting for them when they’d arrived.

“Where is she?” Songi asks.

Yuna just shrugs and tucks her face a little farther into her scarf.

“There she is!” Chiyuu says, pointing up and into the alley.

Songi steps around Chiyuu to look into the space between the apartment complex and the adjacent building. Descending the fire escape quickly is Katie, now with a backpack on her back. The Texan reaches the last landing and climbs down the short ladder portion. She jumps onto the dumpster then onto the ground without fear or hesitation.

Chiyuu claps happily as if applauding for a performance. Katie gives an exaggerated bow.

“You couldn’t have just used the elevator?” Songi asks.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Katie says with a shrug. “Let’s go.”

“Are you going to tell us where we’re going?” Songi asks as she follows Katie down the sidewalk.

“You’ll find out when we get there.”

“So no.”

“Nope!”

Yuna walks beside Songi, her hand in the older girl’s. Ahead of them, Katie and Chiyuu skip and dance and spin around streetlights as though it’s not below freezing and one in the morning.

Chiyuu has always admired Katie. She thinks the older girl is one of the coolest people she’s ever met. Yuna also thinks Katie is very cool, but she’s much too shy to take after her like Chiyuu tries to. And Songi does not think that Katie is someone anyone should look up to as a role model. But try as she might, Songi can’t stop Chiyuu and the other younger female trainees’ idolization of Katie.

Eventually, Katie stops at a bus stop. She spins around and sits on the bench to wait. Chiyuu copies her movements and plops down beside her. Songi sits on Katie’s other side with Yuna.

“You know we can’t just go out anytime we want. We have a curfew,” Songi reminds Katie.

“Do you even know how to have fun?” Katie asks, not even sparing her a glance as she puts Chiyuu in a joking headlock and ruffles her hair.

“I know how to have fun!”

“Really? Then act like it.”

Katie lets Chiyuu go and they continue waiting for the bus. It comes eventually and the four girls climb on, sitting at the back as its only passengers. Chiyuu sits by the window and Katie sits beside her. Songi sits next to Katie again.

“I don’t like this.”

“What?”

“Breaking the rules.”

Katie laughs at that, “You are such a goodie two shoes.”

“I just don’t want us to suddenly not be able to debut because you’re dragging us to do something dangerous.”

“Relax, Songs, we’re not doing anything dangerous.”

“So that means we’re doing something stupid.”

Katie laughs again, “Would you chill out? Just enjoy the ride.”

When they get off the bus, they walk for a bit more then stop in front of an apartment building.

“What are we doing here?” Songi asks.

She leans over Katie’s shoulder as she inputs the pin to enter the building. Katie holds the door open for the other three then steps into the warm lobby with them. She rubs her hands together to warm them then presses her palms to her cheeks.

“Our manager told me where our new dorm is going to be.”

Songi looks around, “And what are we going here?”

“I may or may not have totally swiped the key from him.”

Katie digs around in her pocket and pulls out a shiny silver key.

“You WHAT?!”

Katie laughs, “Dude, chill. It’s literally our dorm.”

“You can’t just steal things from people!”

“It’s not really stealing if it’s ours.”

“Are you just okay with breaking and entering twice in one night?”

“I haven’t broken anything; your window was unlocked and I have the dorm key. So if you think about it I’m just... entering.”

“It-It’s not-“

“Come on.”

Katie grabs Songi’s wrist and drags her over to the elevator. They ride up to the seventh floor and get out. Chiyuu happily skips alongside Katie, the two beating Songi and Yuna to the apartment.

“Drum roll, please,” Katie says, waving the key through the air before inserting it in the lock.

She turns the handle and swings the door open with a big flourish.

“Explore, my children,” Katie says, gesturing to the apartment with wide arms.

Chiyuu grabs Yuna’s hand and tugs her off to go check out the inside of their soon-to-be dorm. Katie gestures again for Songi to enter. She does so with an unhappy huff. Katie enters last and shuts the door behind her.

Songi walks over to the kitchen, silently appreciating the clean appliances and countertops. She could put the toaster under those cabinets. A mug rack would look cute right there. She stops herself from getting too absorbed in possible decoration ideas and turns around.

She finds Katie in the living room, moving some bundles out of the corner and into the middle of the room.

“What are those?” Songi asks.

“Sleeping bags.”

“...for what?”

“Are we gonna have a sleepover!?” Chiyuu asks excitedly, returned from looking at the empty bedrooms with Yuna.

“Of course, we are,” Katie says.

Each girl grabs a sleeping bag, Songi albeit reluctantly. Once they’ve each claimed a spot, laying their sleeping bags out to make a misshapen square, Katie grabs her backpack.

“Okay, we’ve got skittles, seaweed chips, and sprite for Chiyuu- catch! Nice. Almonds and strawberry milk for Yuna, there you go. And applesauce and tuna kimbap for m’lady.”

Songi is surprised when Katie tosses her favorite snacks into her lap but when she looks up, Katie is already reaching back into her bag. She pulls out a couple paper plates and some candles, setting to work lighting them so they can have some light.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“One time my friends and I were having a prank war, so I got my friend’s boyfriend to take her out on a date so I could sneak over to her house and cover her bedroom wall to wall with three hundred photos of Nicolas Cage.”

Songi curls in on herself in laughter, imagining Katie’s nameless friend walking into her room to find it plastered with photos of the man from National Treasure.

“I once put my brother’s phone in the washer and ran it because he was mean to me,” Songi says.

Katie laughs, “You did something bad? I didn’t think you had the capacity for it.”

Songi throws an empty applesauce container at Katie. They both laugh and settle back into their sleeping bags.

After a few hours of eating snacks and telling stories, Chiyuu and Yuna are both passed out in their sleeping bags while the two older girls remain awake. Oddly enough, Katie and Songi have been getting along. There have been times when they’ve tolerated one another during training but they’ve never been able to talk with one another without any hostility prior to tonight.

“You know,” Katie starts, “For someone with a stick constantly up her ass, you’re not that bad.”

Songi gives a small scoff, “For someone stupid and reckless, you’re not so bad either.”

“What’s life without a little danger?” Katie counters.

They laugh.

“Do you think you’ll be able to stand being in a group with me?” Songi asks.

“Ooh, don’t push it.”

They laugh again.

It’s obvious the conversation has died, so Katie sits up and leans over to the candles that still burn in the middle of the four girls’ sleeping bags. Katie looks back at where Songi lays adjacent to her. She looks like she wants to say something more to her. But she doesn’t say anything, just blows out the candles and lays back down.

“Goodnight,” Songi says to her softly.

“Night.”

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