Buck: I saw a guy approach Eddie at the bar but I didn’t need to intervene because I could tell by the look on Eddie's face he was about to be an absolute bitch to this poor misguided man.
Hen: One time, a man approached Karen and she just barked at him until he went away.
Eddie: Now that's a power move.
Hen: What a woman. I love her so much.
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118 deranged tweets 14/???
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911 + Text Posts pt64/?
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Eddie: So how's the most beautiful person in the world doing today?
Buck, flustered: Eddie! O-oh, what —
Hen, on the phone: Karen is doing just fine, thank you! ...Yeah, honey, the gays are at it again.
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*EDDIE and KAREN drunkenly arguing*
EDDIE: No, I don't want to talk about physics! I don't know anything about the laws of physics because they are hard and boring. I simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! Is that really asking too much?
KAREN: Yes, as a matter of fact, it is!
EDDIE: Well, guess what? Science is stupid bullshit!!
KAREN: You take that back!!!
EDDIE: No. Magic is awesome. Science blows. The end.
*BUCK and HEN watching them lovingly*
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INCORRECT 9-1-1 QUOTE
----
Someone: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple...
Hen: I really care about your feelings!
Karen: I really care about YOUR feelings!
Someone, turning their head: ...and then there's the disaster couple...
Buck: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL!
Eddie: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED GETTING HURT ALL THE TIME!
----
• fandom: 9-1-1
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Karen: How's the sexiest person here?
Hen: I don't know, how are you?
Karen, flustered: I-
Buck, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!
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Hen:...Somebody at work ate my sandwich!
Karen(sarcastic): Well, what did the police say?!
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Hen: I don’t want to make a move on her until I know for sure she’s gay.
Chim: No worries, I got you.
Chim: *walking up to Karen* Excuse me? Hi, I just wanted to ask what lipstick are you wearing?
Karen: Oh, I’m wearing chapstick.
Chim: Ok, thank you!
Chim: *brushes past Hen* She’s gay.
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hen: are you still mad at me?
karen: yes
hen: are you going to let go of my hand?
karen: no
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911 + Text Posts pt63/?
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chimney @ karen and hen
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Eddie: If I die kissing Buck, I'd die happy.
Hen: That's honestly so gay of you.
Eddie: As if you're not the same about Karen.
Hen: She's my wife. Of course I'll die happy if I'm kissing her - how else am I supposed to feel? Dread?
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