#including nails which i have not painted in 10+ years
Text
Cara Mia - E.N
(This is about Paul Dano's Riddler, welcome Dano stans, welcome to my sinful blog and prepare for filthy and in-depth writing <3 if you're new here, all you need to know is that we LOVE including music in our fanfics and we LOVE realistic/detailed writing <3 you'll see what I mean and you'll love it sweetie)
Summary: Y/n and Edward were old friends who grew up in the same orphanage together. Not liking the person he is becoming, she tries to get him to find other ways to defend Gotham's civilians. Strangely, she succeeds in this. But, Edward still wants to show them how confident he has gotten since they last saw each other. (crappy summary, just read this post lol.)
Word count (everything below cut): 14,462 (GUYS WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED I THINK I WENT INTO A TRANCE WRITING THIS THING?! WHY IS IT 5 YEARS LONG!? PLEASE DON'T LET THIS FLOP I'LL MOVE TO ANTARTICA IF IT DOES I WORKED SO HARD ON THIS!!!)
Content Warning: AFAB!Reader, she/they pronouns (using mostly she for easier narrative purposes but Edward refers to y/n as they), non-binary reader, queer reader, mentions of homophobia, body dysmorphia, gender dysmorphia, transphobia, explicit language, panic attack, mentions of cigarettes, slowburn smut, penetration, mocking during sex, degrading/humiliation, praising, power play, ROUGH sex, slapping, dom!Edward, obsessed!Edward, sub!Reader, threats of violence directed towards y/n, angst, mentions of gore and murder, y/n is an artist in this <3, breaking in (ed breaks in to y/n's apartment), ed gets angry a lot, aftercare.
Songs for Inspo: (highly recommend you listen while reading (not in any particular order tbh)) bro i spent like 30 minutes finding the PERFECT songs that gave off the vibes I wanted Edward to have in this fic...pls appreciate D:
Aleph - Gesaffelstein
Anarchy - KMFDM
Something In The Way - Nirvana (not bc it was in the movie, it's just so aesthetically pleasing for this type of fic)
THIRST FOR ME! - Lumi Athena
YOU'RE TOO SLOW (Bonus) - Odetari
all I want is you - Rebzyyx, hoshie star
NALGOTICA! - Lumi Athena
Daydream In Blue - I Monster
MONTAGEM - PR FUNK - S3BZS
Lacrimosa - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Y/n's songs:
mos thoser - food house
Ride - Sir-Mix-A-Lot
ecstasy (slowed) - SUICIDAL-IDOL
~*Read Below Cut*~
"Uh, yeah may I have an iced coffee please? With almond milk please."
The customer handed over a 10 dollar bill. Y/n smiled from behind the counter, nodding her head. She entered the purchase and gave the customer their change. Y/n's hair was put back in a ponytail that stuck out of her work visor. Going to grab a cup, she stopped, laughing softly. Turning to the customer, she tilted her head.
"Sorry, Ms. Andrews, what size did you want? I know you usually get a grande, but I just want to make sure." She asked politely.
The older woman, near her mid 40's chuckled. She swatted her slender hand at y/n playfully. Her nails were painted a bright pink with white polka dots, a suggestion from y/n herself. Earlier last week Ms. Andrews had asked for an idea of what to paint her nails. Y/n told her to go big and bold, have some fun! And, that's exactly what she did.
"Oh, y/n you are so kind. A grande is fine as always." She smiled.
Y/n nodded, grabbing the clear cup and scooping some ice into it. The woman placed a 5 dollar bill in the tip jar, which caused y/n to grin dorkily. It was only her working tonight, so she really appreciated the gratuity. Especially coming from one of her favorite customers.
"So, almond milk? What happened to oat? Are you trying something different?" She asked, making light conversation as she made the drink.
"Oh, nothing like that. I really love oatmilk in my coffee, but I find that it upsets my stomach. It's a shame really."
"Aw, well almond milk is a good choice!" Y/n replied cheerfully.
Placing the drink down, the woman smiled at her. Yawning, she covered her mouth with her hand. Y/n chuckled at the sight, wiping down the counter once Ms. Andrews took her drink. The smell of the cleaner filled the air, mixing with strong coffee beans and fruity mixtures. It was pungent, but the ceiling fan helped distribute it and filter it out.
"Get home safe, y/n. Gotham isn't safe for anyone, let alone a sweet person like you." The woman warned.
Y/n nodded at Ms. Andrews. Focusing back down to the counter, she waved good bye to the woman, watching out of the corner of her eye as she left the shop. Sighing, y/n rubbed a bead of sweat off of her forehead. She groaned, looking up at the clock. It was 11:55 p.m. Her shift ended in 5 minutes, and everything was all clean except for the utensils she just used. Getting right to work, she began to clean the dishes, zoning out as she did so. Thoughts of her childhood raced through her head, causing her to feel somber. It wasn't much of a childhood, growing up in an orphanage. But, she did have one friend.
~
"Eddie, I don't know the answer! Give me Sir Clawdius back!" Y/n groaned.
Edward, being taller than her by a few inches already, stood on top of a bucket. In his hands was y/n's teddy bear, well, the orphanage's teddy bear. Y/n decorated it however, giving it a makeshift crown made out of pipe cleaners, glue, and those colorful puffy cotton balls. Sticking his tongue out, he blew a raspberry at y/n.
"Nah uh! You gotta answer the riddle!" He explained.
"Ugh, fine! What was it again?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest in a pout.
The two of them, being 11 years old at the time, looked like bickering 5 year olds. Edward had met y/n in the orphanage when they were 7, and they quickly became close friends. Y/n was always the hyper one who got into trouble easily, and Edward was the one who tried to help her wiggle her way out of it. He was definitely the smarter one out of the duo.
"What do you call a bear with no teeth?" He asked, waving the bear in the air.
"Be careful with him, he's a delicate soul!" She whined.
He chuckled awkwardly, holding it still above his head. Y/n looked at the ground, thinking hard about the riddle. She knew that it wasn't that hard, but she always had a difficult time with riddles. Perhaps, it was just because she was under pressure. Her eyes widened, snapping her fingers and bouncing up and down lightly.
"A gummy bear!" She giggled.
Jumping down, Edward handed her Sir Clawdius. Smiling, she grabbed the bear and held it close to her chest. Edward gave her a thumbs up, a big grin on his face.
"Hey, you're getting better, sketcher!" He cheered.
Y/n giggled when he called her that. The nickname was stupid, not making any sense to anyone else but them. The shoes that she wore all the time were sketchers, and she loved to draw. So, Edward, being a genius, came up with that intelligent nickname. The two of them both agreed it wasn't the most clever, but they both liked it either way. So, it stuck.
"Well, you give me lots of opportunities to improve, Riddles." She chuckled.
~
The dishes were all dry and put away as she finished thinking about her old friend. She still had a hard time believing that the little boy he once was was now planning the demise of Gotham. It was definitely jarring, and it was obvious that it was him. She knew Edward well, no one ever loved riddles as much as he did. If someone did, then that would be the day that pigs flew.
"Time to lock up..." She sighed.
Grabbing her tote bag, she hung it on her shoulder. She turned all of the lights off and made sure everything was put away and turned off. Once she was done, she grabbed the lanyard attached to her pants and locked the backdoor. She set the alarm for the building and quickly made her way out, locking the front door behind her. Shivering, she started to walk down the street, lucky that she only lived a block away. Snow fell down from the sky, landing on her eyelashes, disappearing once she blinked them away.
"Fucking shit it's cold out here." She mumbled to herself, rubbing her hands together.
She sped up her walking pace, ignoring how much her feet hurt from standing behind the counter all night. Not only did she want to get out of the bone-chilling cold, but she also wanted to get out of the streets of Gotham at night. Especially so close to the Narrows. No part of Gotham was safe, but the closer to the Narrows you got, the more dangerous it became. Y/n's mouth stretched out, forming an 'O' as she yawned harshly. Tears formed in the corner of her eyes, blinking them away rapidly.
"God, I'm fucking tired. Thankfully, it's Friday! This bitch doesn't work weekends for a reason." She quietly cheered.
Turning the corner, she sighed in relief when her apartment building came into view. Speeding up even more, she went inside of it, feeling like someone was watching her as she did so. Shrugging it off, she made her way up the stairs until she reached the floor she resided on. Reaching her door, she unlocked it and stepped inside, closing and locking it behind her. Standing still for a few moments, she dropped her tote bag on the table next to the door. She was too lazy to put it anywhere else. Groaning, she walked into her bedroom, stripping herself of her work clothes immediately. She made quick work of getting a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie on, humming to herself when the warmth of the fabric embraced her body. Not feeling fully 'swaddled', y/n slid on a pair of fluffy socks as well. She felt like a sheep who desperately needed it's wool to be shaved off. And, after walking in that cold, she was totally ok with that feeling.
'bing!'
Y/n grabbed her phone off of her bed, tossing it there when she was changing. Turning it on, the light illuminated her face as she read the notification. She pinched the bridge of her nose, groaning as she did so. Pushing the notification, she entered her pin number and grumbled to herself as a livestream opened.
"Hello, my loyal followers! Apologies, for such a late livestream..." Edward announced.
Y/n rolled her eyes, immediately typing in chat. She did not watch his livestreams because she believed in what he was doing. Well, she agreed with his thoughts, that corruption was taking over Gotham and that a change needed to be made. But, it was how exactly he was doing it that she didn't agree with. Plotting murders, wanting to blow up the sea walls, seeking attention from The Batman. He had not done any of these things yet, thankfully. But, just the fact that he had been planning and discussing it was disturbing to her. It was insane. Her fingers typed away, almost as if they knew what they needed to do without her brain telling them. However, she knew what would happen if she sent the message. But, she needed to. She wanted to get through to him.
'Riddles, you've got to stop this. You're taking this too far. There are better ways in which you can advocate for Gotham. And you know it. Seeing you like this breaks my heart. It's getting hard to watch these livestreams. - Sketcher.'
Edward, who was in the middle of talking, fell silent almost immediately. Y/n saw his eyes dart around behind his glasses, reading the message. He panted slightly, shaking his head vigorously. Scoffing, y/n shook her head as well, knowing what was about to happen.
"You don't understand! This is the ONLY way! We experienced this cities torment first hand! THIS IS THE ONLY WAY! Why don't you trust me, Sketch? Hm? All of my noble followers trust me. They KNOWWWW I can bring JUSTICE for them!" He shouted, his voice frantic and borderline desperate.
'God, someone find that buzzkill and kill them already...'
Edward's eyes widened as he read that chat. Y/n chuckled lightly, placing her phone on her bed, preparing for the tantrum that was about to ensue. Grabbing a hairbrush off her nightstand, she started to brush her hair, listening to her old friend scream.
"If you do that, I WILL know. And I WILL FIND YOU AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! I WILL FLAAAAY YOUR BODY AND SHOVE YOUR PEELED SKIN DOWN YOUR THROAT!" He shouted, his voice peaking in the livestream.
For the past few weeks, y/n had been watching his live streams. Every time he had one, she would leave a message, and he became obsessed with proving himself to her. In his mind, y/n was the one person who didn't believe in him. She was the one person he really needed validation from. Y/n sighed, placing the brush down. Quickly, she typed a response and hit send. Edward's eyes immediately scanned it, ignoring everyone else in the chat. His priority was y/n. He read the message out loud quietly.
"I'm going to bed now, it's been a long day. I'm starting to give up on you. You're not the same person you we- WHAT?!?! IS ANOTHER DAY IN YOUR BORING BLAND LIFE TOO DIFFICULT FOR YOU? I AM THE SAME PERSON I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN! THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS I HAVE FOUND MY PURPOSE!!!!!" He screamed once again, causing y/n to laugh.
Even though this was sad for her to witness, it was amusing to see him throw his tantrums. Steam was practically blowing out of his ears. If y/n was anyone else, she would be scared to death right now. But, she was y/n. She was Sketcher. And, even though Edward had changed a lot over the years, one thing would always remain the same. He would never hurt her. Y/n knew that Edward knew where she lived, and he has never once tried to go to her house. Though, y/n did worry about that every now and then. Not because she was worried he would hurt her, but because she didn't know if she could handle seeing her old friend so different.
"DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE! YOU are my INSPIRATION! My MUSE!" He exclaimed, laughing at the end of his sentence.
She scoffed, exiting the livestream. Once she did this, and Edward noticed, his face fell flat. The chat kept filling up with messages, but he just ignored them. When the chat got too overwhelming, he just ended the livestream without saying anything. He paced his room, back and forth, muttering to himself. Y/n still didn't understand him, even after preaching his cause every time she joined a livestream. He ripped his mask off, tossing it on his bed. His breathing got heavy as he started to hyperventilate. His chest heaved, causing him to stop pacing and sit down. Edward gripped at his hair, tugging lightly. When his breathing slowed down, he put his glasses back on, grabbing them from off of the floor. Sighing deeply, he cleared his throat and stood up.
"I need to see her in person. If I explain it in person, she'll understand. She has to. She has to understand!"
Frustrated, Edward got ready for bed. He was tired, and glad that he didn't have to work tomorrow. His eyes grew heavy as his head hit the pillow, drifting off into sleep as he thought of ways to show y/n that what he was trying to do was a good thing. That it was for her.
Y/n sat up in her bed, arms stretching out slowly as she yawned. A long and exaggerated groan left her throat as she rubbed her eyes, sleep in the corners of them. Looking outside of the window next to her bed, she watched as snow fell down, covering the railing of the fire escape. Y/n held her hand up to her face, breathing into it. She grimaced, displeased with her morning breath. Getting out of her bed, she slid on her slippers which were one of those animal kinds. She found unicorn ones at a store and just had to buy it. However, they seemed bland to her. So, she decided to make two fake cigarettes using some felt and cotton, sewing them to the unicorns mouth on each slipper. Y/n didn't even smoke cigarettes, she just thought it would be funny. And it was. So, mission accomplished.
"Shit, it's getting so cold out lately. It's Spring for fuck sake." She grumbled, going to the kitchen.
Opening her fridge, she scanned over her options. She didn't have much food, as she needed to do some grocery shopping. But, she did have enough to last her a couple more days. Sighing, she grabbed some leftover pizza from the other day and decided that it was the best thing she had for breakfast options. Well, she had other options, she just didn't want to cook anything. She planned on being a lazy shit today, and she was going to do exactly that. Placing the slice of pizza on a plate, she put it in the microwave for 30 seconds. While she waited, she took her daily medication, drinking the pills down with juice because if she used water she could taste the gross medicine. A beeping signaled that the pizza was warmed up.
"I'm so hungry..." She said, stomach growling.
She grabbed the pizza from the microwave, recoiling slightly because it was hotter than she expected. Apparently, 30 seconds was too much time. She would take note of that for future use. As if she had been starved for two weeks straight, y/n ate the pizza hungrily. Sighing, she washed the plate and dried it before putting it away again. Rubbing her eyes once again, she got rid of any remaining sleep that crusted in her eyes.
"Ok, time to relax."
'bing!'
"Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me..." She mumbled.
Picking up her phone, she walked to the bathroom in her bedroom. She pushed the notification and propped it against her mirror as she grabbed her toothbrush. Edward, well, his persona at least, appeared on screen. His trademark green mask underneath a pair of clear glasses. Y/n shook her head softly, applying toothpaste to her brush before wetting it under the faucet. As Edward said hello to the people joining, y/n started to brush her teeth. Honestly, she had no idea why she joined the livestream. Perhaps it was her naivety that made her think he could change, but she still wanted to believe. Even if it wasn't looking so positive for her.
"Greeting, my loyalists. Your savior is here." He said flamboyantly.
Y/n rolled her eyes, spitting the mixture of water, spit, and toothpaste out of her mouth into the sink. She turned the water on, washing it down the drain. She rinsed her toothbrush off, putting it back where she got it from. Moving her head under the water, she took a small sip, swirling it in her mouth before spitting it out.
"He thinks he's royalty or some shit. It's so fucking annoying." She grumbled, grabbing her mouthwash.
Y/n decided not to text anything in the stream today, not wanting to deal with a tantrum again. She took a swig of the mouthwash, swishing it in her mouth. The strong mint smell and taste filled her senses, causing her eyes to water and mouth to burn slightly. Not able to handle it much longer, she spat it out. She rinsed out the sink once again, drying her hands afterwards. Y/n brought the hand towel up to her face, wiping off excess toothpaste.
"Sketcher. I know you're in here. Why aren't you saying anything?" He asked in a low tone, eyes narrowing behind his glasses.
Y/n brought the towel away from her face, hanging it back up on the hook next to the mirror. She picked up her phone, walking out of the bathroom and turning the light off behind her.
"Are you ignoring me?" His voice was hoarse, a hint of confusion lacing his question.
Y/n groaned, plopping herself down on the couch. She didn't want to listen to him anymore. He was becoming obsessed with her. Though, he had been acting like that since she watched his very first livestream. Part of y/n knew that it was because he wanted to prove himself to her, although she had no idea why. And another part of y/n knew, or at least believed, that Ed missed their friendship. To be fair, she missed their friendship too. It didn't necessarily end, more so evolved into something more. The two of them got an apartment together when they were forced to leave the orphanage after turning 18. It was difficult, but they managed. Living together caused them to share many life-changing moments of each other's lives together. Y/n remembered them so fondly, and she was sure Edward did too. However, one key moment stood out to y/n a lot more than all the other memories.
~ TW: gender dysmorphia, body dysmorphia.~
~
"Y/n, I'm back from work. They kept me late and wouldn't even explain to me why. Just wanted me to work longer, I suppose. But, at least I still got paid!" Edward said, walking in the front door of the apartment and locking it behind him.
He turned around, looking at the living room in the center of their apartment. His eyebrows furrowed as he didn't see y/n. Placing his keys in the bowl on the table next to the door, he hummed to himself. Removing his coat, he hung it up on the rack and removed his shoes.
"Are you in here?" He called out, slightly louder than before.
"Y-Yeah." Y/n responded, faintly.
Edward, who was looking at the door to her room, moved his sight to his door. Y/n's voice came from behind it, which confused him. Walking towards his door, he knocked on it lightly.
"Uh, why are you in my room?" He asked.
"Oh, I thought I lost my ph-phone charger in here. But, it's not in here." She answered.
Edward turned the doorknob, sighing in frustration as it didn't budge. He leaned up against his doorframe, shoulder resting on the surface. Crossing his arms over his chest, he looked down and saw her shadow move in the light that emitted from the gap of the door.
"Why is the door locked?" He asked bluntly.
Y/n didn't answer. Instead they stepped away from the door. Not sure what to do or say, she tried to pick up the mess she had made. Edward knew how to pick locks, thanks to growing up in an orphanage and trying to sneak dessert constantly. He would get inside eventually, and she didn't want him to see anything. Edward grimaced from behind the door, grabbing a bobby pin from his pocket. He tended to fidget a lot at work and he liked to play with a bobby pin. It was strange, but he found it soothing. He made swift work of picking the lock, which wasn't hard since it was not a complex lock at all. Opening the door, he pushed it open all the way, standing in the middle of it. Y/n froze, arms full of Edward's clothing, wearing one of his tank tops and a pair of his jeans. A bright red hue covered her cheeks as she made eye contact with her friend. At first, Edward just thought y/n was playing a light prank on him, just like they did in the orphanage. But, her eyes were watery and puffy. Her bottom lip was pulled down in a soft frown.
"Y/n? What are you doing?" He asked softly.
Y/n grabbed a blanket off of Edward's bed and pulled it over herself. Her figure under the blanket shook softly as she tried to contain soft sobs. Edward was perplexed by the scene before him, unsure of what to make of it.
"Don't look at me! Please, just get out!" She cried softly.
Edward, who was still standing in the doorway, walked over to her. He knelt down, reaching out to grab the blanket. Y/n scooted away, feeling his hand brush against the fabric. Edward slowly pulled his hand away. He sighed, looking around his room, hoping to get an understanding of what was happening. Y/n was known to have a few episodes regarding her childhood trauma, but they were nothing like this. They were never like this. This was very different. And Edward hated the feeling of not knowing what was wrong with his friend. His eyes landed on a few pieces of y/n's clothing, which he assumed is what she wore before. The rest of the clothes on the floor were his own.
"Why are you wearing my clothes?" He asked.
Y/n sniffled, poking her head out from under the blanket. Edward looked into her eyes, feeling his heart throb at her sad appearance. She sighed softly, removing the blanket from her entire body. Edward looked over her, other than the fact that she was wearing his clothes, nothing was out of the ordinary. Except...
Y/n covered her chest with her arms, trying to make it look like she was casually crossing her arms. Edward's eyes narrowed. The two of them were extremely close, and none of them were worried about the other looking at them in a creepy way. So, the fact that y/n was purposefully covering her chest set off some alarms in Edward's head. He paused for a moment, and then it clicked. Softly, he grabbed y/n's arms, pulling them away from her chest. He looked at it, noticing an extremely big difference. Y/n started to cry, hiding her face from him. Edward didn't look at his best friend's chest a lot. Not ever. He wasn't a creep. But, he knew that y/n was fairly heavy in the chest. And right now, she wasn't. He grabbed the bottom of his tank top that she was wearing, looking to her for permission. She didn't make eye contact with him, but Edward took her silence as confirmation. Lifting it up, he immediately winced. Y/n was not wearing a bra. Instead, her breasts were crudely duct-taped to her chest. The tape went around her entire chest, around her back, and connected in one loop, overlapping multiple times. The duct-tape dug into her skin harshly.
"Y/n..." He trailed.
"It hurts, Eddie..." She sobbed.
"I need to get this off of you." He stated, standing up.
Y/n reached out, grabbing his arm.
"No. I d-don't want to see th-em..." She choked.
He looked down at her, feeling his heart shatter. Edward already had a pretty good understanding of what happened while he was gone. But, that comment was what really set it in stone for him. He sighed, squatting back down and looking her in the eyes.
"You don't have to. But, I need to get this off of you." He said.
Y/n sniffled, wiping tears away from under her eyes. She nodded, pulling her knees to her chest as Edward grabbed some scissors from the kitchen. He felt stupid in this moment, not knowing exactly what to do. And, he always knew what to do. Panicking, he grabbed a bottle of aloe vera from the medicine cabinet and anti-bacterial ointment, just in case the duct tape broke her skin. Hurriedly, he went back in his room and placed the items on his bed. He bent over and picked y/n up, placing her on the bed as well. Edward got on his knees in front of her, noticing that she was avoiding eye contact with him. He grabbed the pair of scissors, placing a comforting hand on her knee.
"I will not look, y/n. I promise." He reassured.
Y/n nodded softly, a tear rolling down her cheek. Edward frowned, looking at the duct tape and trying to figure out where to start. Sighing, he looked at the part of y/n's cleavage that provided a gap to cut at. Using the scissors, he snipped a line down the middle before placing the scissors back on the bed. Just like he promised, he looked away as he lightly began to pull at the tape, wincing every time y/n flinched.
"Are you going to tell me why exactly you did this to yourself?" He asked, his voice undeniably stern.
Y/n looked out the window, Edward following her gaze as he continued to pull gently at the tape. She shrugging slightly, not sure of what to say. There was no way to say it other than to be blunt. But, she couldn't bring herself to be blunt.
"I don't like how I...I don't like my...I just wish..." She fumbled.
Edward listened, allowing her to take as much time as she needed. He ripped off a piece of duct tape slowly, crumpling it into a ball and throwing it on the floor. Y/n watched him throw it, lip trembling as she did so.
"I don't hate how I look. I like how I look. I just, there are some parts..." She sighed.
Edward nodded, removing another piece of duct tape. He kept his eyes way from her now revealed chest, moving on to her side. Y/n groaned, holding her head in her hands. This position made it harder for Ed to remove the tape, but he didn't say anything.
"I was born a girl, I know that. And, I like being feminine. I love it, actually. But, I don't feel like I'm just a girl...I don't want to be." Her voice was weak and shaky.
"Do you feel like one certain gender?" He asked, trying to help her navigate her feelings.
"No. I just feel like...me." She answered.
"Alright. Well, what are you?"
Y/n paused, looking down at the ground. She hadn't really thought about it before. It never really crossed her mind. But, now she was really thinking about it.
"I don't really want to be labeled as anything. I want to look feminine. But, I don't want people to think I'm just a girl. I don't feel like I'm just a girl. I don't know how to explain..." She sighed.
Edward removed the last bit of the duct tape off of her skin. Y/n shivered, her bare chest exposed. But, she was too numb to even care. Edward made sure he averted his eyes the entire time. He used some of the aloe vera and rubbed it into her red and irritated skin. Y/n hissed at the cold touch.
"I think, you explained it perfectly. As long as that is exactly what you feel. You're feelings in this situation are the only ones that matter. I just want you to know that I support you through whatever decision you make. Full heartedly."
Once Edward finished applying the aloe vera, he got up from off the ground. He walked over to his closet, grabbing something out of it. He looked at it for a little while, thinking to himself. Humming, he walked back over to y/n and handed the object to her, looking into her eyes the entire time.
"We can get a binder for you, if you'd like. I know it doesn't really work too well, but you can use this in the meantime." He said.
Y/n took the object and smiled when she realized what it was. It was a back brace. It was small enough to cover her chest. It wasn't the perfect size, but she appreciated whatever she could get. She put it on immediately, struggling only a little bit.
"Thank you..."
Edward tossed one of his shirts to her and watched as y/n caught it. She slid it on, smiling at how baggy it was. Ed smiled as well, giving her a pair of sweatpants too. Y/n looked at him curiously, her head tilting to the side.
"If you ever want to wear my clothes because it makes you feel more comfortable, you don't have to ask or be sneaky about it. You're welcome to wear whatever you need."
~
The meaningful memory made y/n tear up. He was so understanding about what she was going through. And, when she figured out who she really was, he was extremely supportive. Edward had immediately ask y/n what their pronouns were, to which she said she/they. Y/n said she didn't mind if people referred to her as she, but they was what they truly preferred. And ever since that day, he referred to y/n as they. Coming out as non-binary to their friend was easy because of how supportive he was. And then, the two of them started to date. Y/n remembered their first time with Edward. The two of them wanted it to be special. Their first time was vanilla, not wanting to take it too far. But, every time after that got hotter and hotter and kinkier and kinkier. Eventually, the two of them knew about all of their partner's kinks and turn ons. And, y/n was surprised to learn about how kinky Edward was.
~
"Oh fuck, Edward!" Y/n moaned, their fingers gripping at his hair tightly.
Their naked bodies were entwined with each other on his bed. Edward was normally a shy and reserved guy, but in the bedroom he was an entirely different person. He pulled away from biting on y/n's neck, licking a stripe from her neck to her chin. Y/n whined, bucking her hips upwards. Chuckling, Edward gripped their hips and slammed them against the bed. His dick was inside them, staying perfectly still.
"I know how desperately you want me to fuck you, but I expect you to have some control over your desires. If you can't be patient for it, then do you truly deserve it, chéri?" He teased.
Y/n moaned, they loved it when Edward would speak French. It was a language he taught himself in the orphanage, along with Italian and Latin. He sounded so suave when he talked in those languages.
"I'm so-orry..." Y/n pouted, trying their best to keep still.
Edward leaned his head back, letting out a sigh as he felt her tighten around him. His eyes squinted as he made a 'tsk' sound. Looking back down on her, Edward held onto their waist gently.
"Trop peu, trop tard..." He said softly.
Y/n tilted her head to the side, unsure of what he said. Edward smirked, a playful and mischievous glint in his eyes. He leaned forward, pressing his lips against their ear. His grip on her hips tightened, nails digging into their flesh.
"Too little, too late..."
~
Y/n shivered, feeling her stomach turn into a knot as she recalled the interaction. Swallowing a lump in her throat, she pushed the feeling away. It all ended when Edward started to talk about how he wanted to fix Gotham. His desire for a renewal eventually turned into an obsession, and y/n saw how dangerous it was getting. Even though it hurt her, she didn't want to be with him while he went down that path. It had been a year since they split up.
"I suppose, it is time I end this livestream my loyal followers." Edward said.
Y/n shook herself out of her thoughts, remembering that she was watching Ed's livestream. Looking at the time, she was shocked to see that she had spaced out for about 30 minutes, recalling her fond memories with Edward. She sighed, going to exit the stream when she realized she was the only one left in it. However, Edward's voice made her stop.
"Do you still live there, Sketcher?" He asked, voice monotone, almost a hint of sadness in it.
Y/n felt her breath hitch in her throat. Shakily, her hands typed an answer. For some reason, she felt scared of Edward in this moment. She never felt scared of him. His voice was ominous.
"I am not answering that, you should already know the answer."
Edward remained silent for a little while, staring at the camera. Y/n grew unsettled, unsure of what to do. He leaned towards the camera, cupping his hands over his mouth. Y/n prepared for him to whisper, holding the phone closer to their ear.
"FINALLY THEY SPEAK!" He yelled.
Y/n dropped their phone, wincing at their ear ringing. Edward chuckled from behind the camera, finding his yelling to be funny. Y/n grimaced, scoffing as she rolled her eyes.
"I miss you. Do you miss me? If you want me to come over, say nothing. If you don't, then say anything!" He giggled.
Y/n began to type, not understanding what he was trying to do. It was like he was purposefully trying to scare them. Like it was a game to him. And y/n didn't feel like playing it. But, before she could text anything, he ended the live.
"Dick." Y/n scoffed.
She glanced at the time on her phone, wanting to see how much time had passed by.
'2:50'
Y/n groaned, getting up from the couch, taking their phone with her. The whole conversation with Edward threw her off. Unsure of what she should do, y/n decided to draw. It helped calm their nerves when they got stressed out. They walked over to their desk that was in the corner of the room, right next to the T.V. Sighing, she pulled out her iPad, which they kept on the desk, and got their drawing software set up. They pulled up Spotify on their T.V and clicked the playlist they listened to when they drew. A song she didn't really care for played, so she used this time to go change into some better clothes to draw in. They discarded their current sweatshirt and sweatpants, left in their soft purple binder and matching underwear. They thought for a moment, not really sure of what to wear. As they thought about what to wear, they pulled their hair up into a ponytail, stretching out their back afterwards.
"Fuck it." She said.
Y/n pulled their sweatpants back on, not bothering to put a shirt on since the binder was fit like a tank top of some sorts. They slid their slippers back on, laughing at the fake cigarettes they added. Y/n walked back into the living room, going back to their drawing desk. They sat down and got right to work with their drawing.
Time had gone by fast as y/n was drawing, her entire mind being focused on her work. Y/n groaned, standing up from her chair to stretch out. Glancing at her phone, her eyes widened when she saw it was 9:52 at night. But, she hadn't finished her drawing yet, and she really wanted to. Sighing, they decided another hour or so couldn't hurt. She looked at Spotify, grinning from ear to ear as one of her favorite songs played. Walking to the kitchen, she grabbed a glass of water as she swayed her hips to the beat. Taking a sip, she brought it over to her desk, placing it far away from her iPad. What y/n didn't know though, is that someone was watching her from within the shadows of her apartment. Edward Nashton had slipped into her apartment when she went to the bathroom around 10 minutes ago, and was hiding and observing her. He watched as y/n danced to the music, mouthing the lyrics as well. Y/n's music taste, at least when they drew, was mainly hyperpop music with a few other genres thrown in. Edward had never heard of the genre until y/n introduced it to him. He liked some of the songs, but he preferred to watch y/n dance to them.
"God, my neighbors probably hate me..." They chuckled to themselves.
Edward remained silent, watching as y/n danced and made commentary. That was one of Edward's favorite things about them. He loved that when they thought they were alone, or even if things were quiet, they would start talking to themselves. It could be normal things or stupid things. In this case, y/n was quoting lyrics, adding commentary on them, and complaining about their drawing. It was very evident that they were partially sleep deprived.
"Fucking, ugh! Why is it so hard to draw dilfs?" They groaned.
Edward, staying quiet, found their comments to be hilarious. However, he didn't want to reveal his position just yet. So, he watched quietly.
"Grab your man he's trying to roleplay on me all snuggly..." They mumbled in a high-pitched voice, laughing like a dork at the end.
"This songs fucking weird, it's so me core. Me core. Fuck! Me! GOD!" They face planted on the desk, groaning afterwards.
"I'm not looking up crotch references...not again...I can't subject myself to that." They whined, muffled by the desk.
Y/n lifted their head up when their phone rang, causing Edward to fall back in the shadows further. Pausing the music as the next song played, they looked at the contact on their phone. Smiling, they answered it.
"Bitch, it's 10 at night and you interrupted one of my favorite songs. You better have a good reason." They laughed.
Y/n put the phone on speaker, placing it on the kitchen counter as she poured a bowl of cereal.
"You got something better to do than talk to me, huh?" Her friend asked.
"Girl, I was drawing dilfs..."
"Oh shit, that's awesome. Can I see?"
"I haven't finished...I'm stuck."
"On what?"
"Drawing the...crotch. I don't exactly have a dick to use as reference. Not that I'm drawing a dick, he's wearing pants, but like...bulge reference. Fuck, you know what I mean."
Edward smirked to himself, a thought crossing his mind. He dismissed it as soon as it appeared. He found their conversation to be entertaining.
"I've got a big dick right here for you to use as a reference." Their friend said in a deep voice.
Y/n nearly choked on their cereal.
"Shut up! What did you call me for you cretin?"
"Oh, well I just wanted to let you know that uh...that guy at my work gave me his number..."
Y/n swallowed the cereal in her mouth, squealing afterwards. Edward covered his ears quietly, not hearing them make that noise in a long time. He had forgotten how high-pitched they could get.
"No fucking way!!! Did he say anything?" Y/n asked, looking at their hair in the reflection of the fridge.
"Yes! Ok, let me know what you think of this...he texted me earlier. This is what he said...'Hey, can't wait to talk to you more. I'd love to meet you for lunch sometime this weekend. I hope I'm not being too forward. Hope you're having a great night, Caleb.'"
Y/n gasped.
"Oh my God, he's polite too!? You hit the jackpot! You two should fall in love, have really rough kinky sex, get married, have babies, all that jazz!" Y/n spat out.
"I was thinking the same thing!!! Well, maybe not the kinky part. I'm not a freak like you." Their friend giggled.
"I'm unique like that." Y/n chuckled.
"More like you're slutty like that..."
"Hell, I'll take that as a compliment. I consider myself a collector of kinks. Like pokemon, except sinful. And you know...no animals...what were we talking about?" They asked.
"Are you high or something?" Their friend laughed.
"No, just very, very, very sleep deprived and hyped up on a large bag of sourpatch kids I got from the store. So, kind of?" They laughed.
Edward rolled his eyes, trying his best not to laugh. He missed y/n. He missed them a lot. But now, he was seeing them again. Right in front of him.
"Oh my god, go to bed! You need the sleep." Their friend suggested.
"Who are you? My mom? My dad? My overlord?" They asked.
"No, I-I'm, heh, I'm your dad-daddy..." Their friend tried to say, laughing in between her words.
"Oh fuck off, now I'm definitely getting ready for bed. Every time we call you call yourself daddy and I am 100% certain that it's giving me brain damage."
"That's the goal. To get you brain dead so I can put you in a hospital for the rest of your life!"
"Aw, how sweet! I'll haunt you when I die and possess your vibrator so it never turns on."
"Ew! Grosssss!"
"Alright, I have some cereal I have to finish absolutely devouring. So, I'll call you tomorrow. Let me know how the lunch goes!"
"Ok, love you!"
"Love you too!"
Y/n hung up the phone, as if that was the most normal conversation they had ever had. Edward found the entire thing extremely amusing. Their friend was right though, y/n was extremely kinky. Edward would know. When the two of them were in bed together, things got hot and heavy quickly. He broke out of those thoughts, watching as y/n put away their iPad and pressed play on Spotify. Yawning, they went back to the kitchen, grabbing their cereal bowl. As the song played, they finished eating their cereal quickly. Once they finished eating, they started dancing and mouthing the lyrics of the song. Edward knew this song, from when y/n would practically force him to watch tiktok edits of various people from various shows, movies, and games. He knew y/n loved this song.
"Ride!" Y/n mouthed softly, spinning around in a circle.
Y/n swayed to the song, dancing like no one was watching. Even though, someone most definitely was watching. Edward kept a keen eye on y/n, watching every movement they made.
"Can I ride!?" Y/n giggled, pointing to a drawing of a blonde man they made.
Edward recognized the person, from the Resident Evil games. Y/n was obsessed with Leon S. Kennedy for a long time, so that's probably who it was. This caused him to smile to himself.
The song was coming to an end, although still playing. Edward took this as an opportunity to step out of the shadows slowly. Every footstep he made was quiet as he made sure not to step on any creaky floorboards. As the song died down, y/n turned around after hearing a quiet noise. They turned the volume down until the music was at the same volume as a person talking normally, placing the remote back down.
"Who's there?" They asked, grabbing a pocket knife they kept on the desk.
Edward stepped completely out of the darkness, the soft light from the T.V illuminating his body in a bright white outline. Y/n scoffed, tossing their knife back on the desk. Edward found it intriguing that y/n was not scared, not even in the slightest.
"Edward Nashton, what the fuck is your problem?! I have a fucking door for you to knock on you asshole! You scared the shit out of me! I thought you were someone breaking in!" They groaned.
"I am someone breaking in." He stated simply.
"No, Edward. You're Edward. Not a scary criminal. Well, not yet at least, who knows at the rate you're going..." They mumbled.
Edward stood there, watching them walk into the kitchen. Y/n rolled their eyes, getting a glass of water. They were slightly annoyed with Edward.
"How long have you been here? Actually, no, let me guess. When I went to the bathroom. Is that when you got in?" They asked.
Edward nodded slowly.
"You're so predictable, Edward. Are you trying to scare me or something? Why are you here standing in the shadows like a creep?" They spat.
Edward walked towards them slowly, planting his gloved hands firmly on the counter. Y/n raised an eyebrow.
"I'm here to show you what I'm trying to do for Gotham! You don't understand my cause!" He exclaimed behind his mask.
"Uh huh...yeah. Why are you wearing your mask? I know who you are." They said blandly.
He didn't answer.
"Look, Ed, I know you want to help Gotham. I admire that. You've always been a kind soul. But, this is not the way to go about it. Planning murders? Bombings? How will that help?" They asked.
Edward looked down, his confidence disappearing as the person he loved told him these things. Y/n noticed, sighing before taking a sip of water. They offered Ed some, to which he denied because of the mask that was on his head. Y/n groaned.
"Take that thing off. You're Edward. Not the Riddler."
Edward's eyes narrowed, knuckles turning white as he gripped the edge of the counter. He marched into the kitchen, standing in front of y/n, pinning them against the cupboards. Y/n felt their heart race.
"I AM the Riddler! Edward, Riddler, I am two in one!" He declared, voice muffled by the mask but still projecting well.
Y/n sighed, looking over Edward. He could sense the sadness in their eyes. They reached a hand up, grabbing his glasses before removing his mask. Once the mask was off, they put the glasses back on him. Edward felt sheepish all of a sudden, almost as if removing the mask removed his entire persona.
"You look different since I last saw you, Ed. You look good." They smiled, hand cupping his face.
"Don't." He said.
"You still love me, don't you?" They asked, thumb rubbing his cheek.
Edward looked down slightly, lifting his eyes back up to theirs quickly. He took a deep breath, chest puffing out. Y/n watched as his eye twitched, a telltale sign that he was anxious.
"Yes..."
"Did you think that this whole Riddler persona would make me fall in love with you?"
Edward didn't answer.
"Ed, I still love you. I always will. But, I don't love who you're becoming. It worries me."
"I just want to do good for the people of Gotham who suffered, just like we did..." He said shakily.
"Killing people is not the way to do it. That is not going to win me over, Edward. If you want to keep this Riddler persona, then that's fine. But, use it for good. Help law enforcement with finding criminals, the ones who make Gotham a terrible place. Don't add to it..."
Edward nodded, feeling a tear roll down his cheek. Y/n wiped it away, smiling up at him. He looked down at them, straightening his posture. He cleared his throat.
"Y-You're right. It's just, this whole persona gave me a newfound confidence. I wanted to do something memorable and meaningful with it."
"Edward, I love that you've found your confidence. But, you need to use it for good."
He nodded once again, the two of them falling silent. Edward looked into y/n's eyes, feeling his cheeks grow hot. Y/n felt a knot form in their stomach.
"Can you promise me that you'll stop this madness? Please? For me, Riddles..." Y/n frowned, tears forming in their eyes.
Edward's eyes widened, hugging y/n to his chest without thinking about it. He rubbed their back, heart racing fast against theirs.
"No, no no no, no please don't cry. I promise, Sketcher. I'm sorry that all of this happened. I caused us to drift apart, I don't know what I was thinking. I promise you, I'll stop." He cooed, nearly crying against their head.
"I believe you, Edward."
The two of them grew silent as they held each other. Despite the emotional moment they just had, they weren't sure what to do. It was hard to move on from such an important conversation, especially the one they just had. Y/n sighed, pulling away from him, back against the counter. Edward looked down at them, taking in their appearance.
"Y-You got your binder. It looks good." He commented.
"Thank you, it took so long to arrive. But, it was worth the wait. I have more in other colors."
Edward nodded.
"Ed, can I tell you something?" They asked.
"Y-Yeah, of course."
"Your Riddler persona scared me a bit, what with everything that you were planning. But, besides those things, I found that whole persona to be quite..." Y/n trailed.
Edward waited, anxious for what they were going to say.
"...hot?"
His eyes widened, watching as y/n blushed lightly. He reached down, lifting their chin up with two of his fingers. Y/n looked up at him, bottom lip out in a natural pout.
"You did?" He asked.
Y/n nodded.
"It seemed like you were really protective over me when you were doing those livestreams."
Edward's jaw clenched when he thought about that one chat someone sent. He could easily find their address, and he definitely thought about paying a visit. But, after the conversation he just had with y/n, he knew that was off the table. Even though the person definitely deserved whatever he wanted to do to him.
"That swine threatened you. No one threatens you and gets away with it."
"Mmm, that's the part of the Riddler that I like..." Y/n hummed.
"God, I've missed you so much, y/n."
"I missed you too, Ed."
He looked down at them, feeling the confidence he had when he broke in flood back into his body. Y/n saw this from how his posture changed. His stature was looming and a glint of mischief twinkled in his eyes. Y/n felt themself shrink beneath him, feeling cornered in the kitchen by him. But, it wasn't like they were scared he would hurt or kill them, no. It was anticipation of what he was going to do next. Edward always was unpredictable. Y/n's breath hitched as Edward brushed a strand of hair out of their face.
"You've always had a knack for intimidating, even dangerous, men. Haven't you?" He teased softly, looking down at them with dull eyes.
Those eyes, they drove y/n insane. His gaze had the ability to make their knees wobble, faltering their stability. He knew of this affect, and he basked in the feeling of power this gave him. Neither of them liked to consider themselves 'in charge' of the other. But, when things got intimate, y/n absolutely loved it when Edward would run the show. He did too.
"You shiver under my touch, cara mia. Why is this? Do you fear me?" He asked gently.
Y/n nibbled on the bottom of their lip, chest heaving from the tension. Edward grinned, leaning down to plant a soft kiss below their ear. His breath fanned on their neck, causing goosebumps to prickle over y/n's skin.
"Or does my presence simply make you tremble with desire?" He whispered.
Y/n let a quiet moan slip out of their throat, causing them to blush deeply. They were embarrassed to admit how easily Edward drove them crazy. The two of them would be lying if they said they didn't miss each other, both emotionally, physically, and sexually. They nodded, wrapping their arms around his neck.
"Of course it does. I know you promised you'd stop the things you were going to do. But, you're still The Riddler. And, having you in my apartment, standing over me...my heart's racing. Earlier today your persona was ready to kill someone for me and, as weird as it is, I found it hot..." Y/n gasped, breathing heavily.
Edward smirked, grabbing the mask from off of the counter. He glanced down at it, then back up at y/n. A sickeningly lewd idea popped into his head. Y/n looked up at him, adrenaline and wonder filling their vision.
"You know what else he would do for you? To you?"
Y/n's legs instinctively closed, causing Edward to stifle a chuckle. He gave y/n a quick glance, as if to ask if it was ok to continue. They nodded frantically. He took a deep breath, eyes closed as he calmed himself. Without saying anything, Edward put his mask on, placing his glasses on top of the now covered bridge of his nose. He let out the breath he took, coming out in a raspy exhale. Y/n felt a shiver go down their spine as the T.V light illuminated Edward in an almost ethereal green. His hands fell to his sides, clenching and unclenching in a fist. Suddenly, he reached out and grabbed the back of y/n's neck, yanking them towards him.
"He would fuck you until you scream his name." He said simply.
The bluntness of his statement made y/n throb. They let out a shaky breath, gripping onto his shoulders for stability as their knees buckled. A dark chuckle emitted from his throat, letting go of y/n and stepping away from them. Y/n almost fell to the floor, catching onto the counter at the last second. Standing up straight, they watched as Edward walked over to the couch, standing in front of the T.V. He stared at y/n, nodding towards the couch subtly. Y/n didn't budge, breathing heavily in shock of the situation. Edward let out a frustrated sigh, stomping his foot on the ground.
"GET OVER HERE!" He shouted.
Y/n was quick to get to the couch, trembling as they stood in front of him. Edward removed the piece of the mask over his mouth, only attached with a few of those small click-on buttons. Placing it in his pocket, he grabbed y/n's face, slamming his lips onto theirs. Y/n moaned into the kiss, being caught off guard by the suddenness of it. Edward groaned, pulling away from the kiss.
"Edward..." Y/n sighed.
Grimacing, he pushed y/n down on the couch. Y/n looked up at him, eyes dark as he looked down on their body. He let out a frustrated sigh that slowly grew into a groan. He pointed at his chest repeatedly.
"I am The RIDDLER in this moment. You WILL address me as such." He declared.
Y/n squeezed their thighs together, gasping at his harsh attitude. The Riddler smirked, his mouth on display to y/n. A song started to play in the background, causing y/n to blush when they realized what it was. He walked towards them, grabbing their hips and moving them onto his lap as he sat down.
"Do you understand?" He asked.
"Y-Yes, Riddler."
He listened to the song as it played, smirking at the lyrics. Y/n avoided eye contact. Roughly, he grabbed their chin and yanked it towards him. He pulled them down to his face, kissing them on the lips briefly.
"If memory serves me right, the last time you and Edward fucked, it was to this song wasn't it? That's quite fitting, seeing as how it'll be the first song the Riddler fucks you to." He said, laughing at the end.
Y/n moaned, mouth agape slightly. He gripped it, keeping their mouth open. Looking at their mouth, he remained silent. His analytical eyes observed the inside of y/n's mouth. They were slightly confused, but afraid to move.
"You'd take me well with that mouth of yours..." He stated.
Y/n moaned softly, whining at the end. He chuckled, releasing his grip on their jaw. He looked at y/n, pushing them off of his lap. Y/n stood up in front of him, panting and wide eyed.
"Strip." He ordered.
Y/n didn't hesitate, removing their pants. He watched as they slid their underwear off, causing him to let out a low grunt at the sight of their bare lower body. Reaching up, y/n hesitantly started to remove their binder. The Riddler held up a hand, signaling for them to stop.
"No. If you feel that that part of your body does not belong on you, then I do not find it desirable. I will not allow you to face dysmorphia once again." He said.
Y/n smiled, feeling their heart swell. It pleased y/n to know that Edward's Riddler persona was just as caring and supportive as he was. Giggling, they left their binder on. He stood up, unbuttoning his pants slightly, letting his bulge under his underwear poke out. Grabbing y/n's neck, he kissed them harshly and bit their bottom lip. They groaned as he pulled away. Edward hushed them, placing a finger against their lips as he listened to the song.
'Kiss me on the lips, choke me on the floor.'
'Drag me around, push me right against your door.'
'I'm your little doll, come and play with me.'
'Fucking chase me, fucking break me.'
Y/n hummed to the song very quietly and he grinned. Adjusting his grip on y/n's neck, he smirked down at them. The glasses he wore were reflecting the light of the T.V. He looked mysterious and dangerous. It made y/n's cheeks heat up.
"You like that song, huh?" He asked, rubbing his thumb against their skin.
They nodded.
"Of course you do. You like that shit, don't you?" He mocked.
They nodded again, frantically. He mimicked the way they nodded, even going so far as to imitate the soft moans they made. Y/n held the hand he had gripped around his throat, pouting up at him. He rolled his eyes. He knelt down on the floor, bringing them down with him. Y/n's eyes grew big as he pinned them against the floor, straddling their lap as he did so. The grip on their throat tightened, y/n gasping for air. The Riddler hummed to himself, swaying his head to the song. Pretending he spaced out, he looked back down to y/n. He faked a gasp, covering his mouth with his free hand. Y/n let out a choked moan, causing The Riddler's bulge to grow.
"You said you liked to be choked on the floor, isn't that true? I'm just giving you what you want." He cooed, reaching down to caress their face.
He watched y/n as they grabbed at his hand. The Riddler let out a yawn, releasing his grip on their throat. Y/n moaned, gasping for breath. He mocked their panicked breathing, holding his own throat with his hands. He faked chokes before breaking out into a soft and eerie laughter. Y/n felt filthy for finding his actions extremely hot.
"I thought you liked that? Hm?" He teased.
"I do..." They sighed, a moan slipping out at the end.
He reached down, grabbing the ponytail their hair was in. As he stood up, he pulled at their hair, causing y/n to stand up with him. He dragged them across the room by their hair, making sure not to go too fast. He wanted to be rough, not abusive. Walking inside y/n's room, he closed the door behind them before slamming y/n against it. They grunted, wrapping their arms around his neck.
"You wanted this. Your eyes were practically begging me to fuck you. Please tell me you didn't expect the Riddler to go easy on you, mon cœur?" He chuckled, a sick smirk tugging at his lips.
"No, I want it rough. I love it rough..." They panted.
He threw them on the bed, watching as they propped themselves on their elbows. Their legs were crossed over each other, hiding themself from him. He rolled his head to the side, letting his neck crack as he walked to the bed. He stood in front of y/n, menacing and ominous.
"Yes, I know. I know how filthy you are. I know how...experimental...you were when you were mine. I imagine you're still the same filthy slut."
Y/n nodded repeatedly, slowly opening their legs. His head was held high, exuding power with his stance. He let his eyes trail down, face emotionless as he gazed between y/n's legs. He breathed in deep, letting out a shaky sigh that made y/n moan. The Riddler found himself mesmerized by the sight before him, his muse, his love, all spread out and on display for him. It was a beautiful sight that made the blood pump in his veins. He felt his dick twitch and inhaled deeply before exhaling.
"Offering yourself to me, so...willingly...it brings a smile to my face. I assume you realize how whorish you look right now. Spreading your legs for a dangerous person such as me..." He trailed, leaning down and planting his fists on either side of the bed.
His body was hovering over the lower half of y/n. Underneath his chest was y/n's legs, spread open, exposing their body to him. Y/n moaned, nodding their head.
"I know how slutty I'm acting. But, I can't help it. You make my heart race and I just want to feel you inside me so bad..." They whined, squirming underneath him.
"Yeah, you want that?" He hummed.
"Fuck, yes!"
He made a 'tsk' noise as he stood up straight. Y/n watched as he removed the gloves he wore. He placed the pair in his left hand, glancing down at them. He looked back down at y/n, humming again. Throwing one of the gloves to the side, he reached down and dragged the one he kept over y/n's stomach. Slowly, he trailed back down, kneeling on the floor in front of the bed. He grabbed the underside of y/n's calves, yanking them towards him. Their legs dangled off the bed, lifting up as he hung them over his shoulders.
"As you'll recall, I have a strong fascination with games, puzzles, riddles, etc. How about we play a game right now? Will you amuse me and take part, cara mia?" He asked, letting his breath fan against y/n's slick core.
"Mmm, yes. I-I'll play a game with you, Riddler." They moaned.
"Oh how fun, I have high hopes for you."
He blew against their pussy once again, smirking cockily to himself as y/n squirmed. His hands gripped their thighs that hung over his shoulders.
"I'll ask you riddles and you answer them. If you get it right, you get a reward. If not, well...you'll find out, how about that?" He chuckled, waving his glove for them to see before sliding it on his left hand.
"What? I've never been good at your Riddles! That's not fa-"
"Those are Edward's riddles. You have not heard mine, have you? Besides, I just made them up a few moments ago, specifically for you. It would make me so upset if you chose not to play."
"Ok, fine. Just, ask me your riddles."
He chuckled.
"I can make you shiver and I can make you hot. I may take a while to arrive, but I can be fast in the right hands. What am I?"
Y/n groaned, holding their hands over their face. The Riddler giggled, finding their struggle amusing. While he waited, he looked between their legs. He licked his lips as he saw how swollen their clit was.
"What am I, y/n?" He asked.
"Damn it, I don't know! Mail?" They whined.
"Mail? Hm, not even close. Do you want a hint, cara mia? I'll let you have another try." He smirked.
"Yes, please..." Y/n groaned.
"If you're good I'll give it to you tonight..." He hinted suggestively.
Y/n furrowed their eyebrows, thinking for a moment. The hint was so obscure. It could be anything based on how he said it. After a bit, their eyes widened in realization.
"An orgasm!"
Chuckling darkly, he shoved a finger deep inside of y/n. Y/n threw their head back into the bed, a lewd moan leaving their mouth. The Riddler let out a sigh, enjoying the feeling of his finger inside of them.
"Oh, good job darling. I'm so proud of you. Are you ready for another riddle? You only get one try this time..."
"F-Fuck, u-um, yeah I'm ready..."
"A queen, a movie, I can chill you to the bone. If it comes from pleasure, some would call it a moan. What am I?"
"What the fuck...? Um, fuck, I don't know...I don't know!" They whined.
Sighing, he kept stood up, not all the way though. He wanted his finger to remain inside y/n. Caressing y/n's face with his gloved hand, he watched as they pressed into his touch. The smile on his face faded, turning into a frown. Swiftly, he brought the back of his hand across their face. Y/n gasped, mouth agape and looking up at him.
"SCREAM! I'M A SCREAM!"
Y/n whined, bucking their hips up into Edward's finger. He furrowed his eyebrows underneath his mask. He went back down between their legs and smacked their thigh lightly, signaling for them to stop. He sighed.
"You should have known that answer, it's one of your favorite horror movies. I'm disappointed. You only get one more riddle. If you get it right, I'll finally give you what you so desperately want. If you get it wrong, I leave you on your bed a wet, slutty, pathetic mess."
"Oh God..." Y/n mumbled.
"I am done when desperate. A dog for a treat, a criminal for their life, a traitor for forgiveness. What am I?"
Y/n thought, not wanting to get it wrong. They groaned, eyes shut closed tightly. A frustrated sigh left their lips, turning into a whine like a child pouting. The Riddler smirked.
"Riddler, I beg you please...just fuck me!" They pleaded.
"Oh, you're so close to earning that..." He chuckled.
Y/n went silent, eyes widening.
"Beg! It's beg!" They cried out.
He pulled his finger out, causing y/n to whine. Leaning down, he planted a kiss on their lips. A proud smile was on his face, a laugh coming from his throat.
"Very good, ange précieux. I'm so proud of you." He praised, standing up straight.
Y/n watched as he looked down on them, eyes crazed and bright behind his glasses. He stepped forward, the bulge hidden by his underwear directly in front of y/n's face as they sat up. Y/n waited for him to say something, but he never did. Instead, he slowly pushed his underwear down, letting his dick fall out. He groaned as it slapped their face. Y/n kissed it gently, letting their tongue lap around the tip. He hissed, not giving any warning as he grabbed their hair and shoved his dick down their throat. Y/n gagged on the length, tears forming in their eyes. The Riddler moaned, leaning his head back in pleasure as he held their head there. After a moment, he pulled them off, pushing them down to the bed.
"I was correct, my dick fits perfectly in your pretty little mouth. But that is not what I want right now, nor is it what you want. Admittedly, it would be nice to throat fuck you till you're gasping for air...but I digress. Now, spread your legs."
Y/n moaned, their back flat against the bed as they listened to his instructions. The Riddler removed his glove, swaying his hand in the air as classical music played on the T.V. He hummed to himself, knowing the lyrics by heart, going through a huge classical music phase a few years back. Y/n watched, finding it hypnotic and twisted how carefree he was about the situation. Meanwhile, y/n was desperate and horny, spread out on the bed.
"A beautiful piece..." He mumbled.
He stepped forward a little, grabbing the underside of y/n's thighs as he pulled them close. Abruptly, he spit in between their legs, the substance landing on their throbbing pussy. He quietly sang the lyrics, y/n not knowing what he was saying. It always baffled y/n how well he spoke Latin, French, who the hell knew what other languages he spoke. All y/n knew was that it turned them on. Tightening his grip on their thighs, he pulled them closer to him as he thrusted forwards. Y/n cried out, voice cracking as they moaned. The Riddler grunted, but continued to sing along with the song. Y/n whined as he stilled inside of them, causing him to groan.
"It's rude to interrupt someone. I like this song, now be quiet!" He spat, bringing a hand down to pinch their clit.
Y/n bit back a moan, biting down on their fist. He was torturing them, y/n was sure of it. And, they were correct. The Riddler knew how desperately they wanted to be fucked by him, but he was having too much fun to give it to them. Not without a few more teases. He moved very slightly, causing y/n to think he was about to thrust into them. When they realized he was playing with them, they let out a pitiful whine. Their back arched, covering their face with their hands as the pathetic noise left their lips. He watched this, the sight making him twitch inside of them.
"Oh, cara mia..." He cooed.
"Riddler, please..." They cried.
"Mmm, my name sounds so good coming out of your mouth. My dear pitoyable chérie. Do you want me to fuck you?"
"Yes! Please!"
"Tell me how filthy you are for wanting this. Tell me that you're mine. You know it's true." He groaned, pinching the inside of their thigh.
"Fuck, you're right! I'm yours, Riddler. I always have been! I'm your filthy sl-slut. Please! I jus-"
He reached down, grabbing their hair. Leaning down, he met them halfway as he kissed them roughly. With a harsh thrust he began to fuck into them at a brutal pace. Moaning into the kiss, y/n bit down on his lip. He groaned and pushed them back down, standing up straight again. Bending over, he crawled on top of them as he continued to plow into their sopping pussy. Y/n reached up and gripped his hair, incoherent mumbling sliding past their lips.
"Oh, you filthy thing...you want more? Tell me."
"Yes! Please!"
A guttural growl left his throat, cursing underneath his breath. He grabbed y/n, looking around the room. Spotting a mirror, he dragged y/n in front of it. Sitting on the bed behind them, he shoved y/n down on his dick, sitting on his lap. The Riddler fucked up inside of them, facing the mirror all the while.
"My, my, would you look at that?" He teased grabbing y/n's jaw and forcing them to look at the mirror.
Y/n whimpered, watching them bouncing on his dick as he thrust upwards. The pace was sickeningly animalistic, a speed that y/n didn't think was humanly possible. A dark chuckle resonated in his chest, y/n feeling it vibrate against their back.
"Look how good you're taking me. You were made for me, cara mia. My missing puzzle piece. You fit me so perfectly. So tightly." He moaned in their ear, voice raspy and low.
"Oh fuck, Riddler..."
"That's right, cara mia. Moan my name. I won't let you cum until I've heard you scream it."
His nails dug sharply into the excess flesh of their hips, leaving indents in the skin. The classical music playing in the back made the erotic scene even more vulgar. Ecstasy was thick in the air like pungent poison. It filled their sense and drove them crazy, searching for the antidote in each other's bodies and pleasure. The Riddler ripped the hair tie out of y/n's hair, letting it fall down. He buried his face in it, inhaling their sweet scent that he missed so much. Though he was the Riddler, his feelings for y/n were the exact same as Edward's. After all, they were the same person. Just a persona, a facade he put on. Like roleplay.
"Ri-Riddler...please." They begged.
Grunting, he stood up, holding y/n by their thighs. His dick stayed inside them the whole time as he flipped them over onto their back on the bed. Not giving them any time to adjust, he picked their legs up and held them high. With the better angle, he drilled into them, face contorting into pleasure underneath the mask. Y/n covered their eyes with one of their hands, arching their back. With the other hand, they gripped the sheets desperately searching for some stability. With every thrust he made, the Riddler pummeled directly into y/n's g-spot, making them moan each time. With every moan that left their lips, the next one became more pornographic.
"Oh, I can tell you are so close. You've reached the precipice of your desire, teetering on the edge, aren't you?" He moaned, gasping at the end.
"Y-Yes, please! I wanna cum!"
"You want me to push you over that edge, cara mia?" He taunted, slowing his pace.
"Fuck! Don't stop! Please! I n-need it so bad!" Y/n was crying, their sobs pitiful and sad to listen to.
"Then scream my name!" He growled.
He slapped them across the face, slamming into them roughly. Y/n let out a noise that was indescribable. However, the sound made him whimper. His thrusts quickened, no longer rough but rather sadistic. Y/n tried to get words out, but couldn't. He pinched their clit harshly, twisting it between his pointer finger and thumb.
"RIDDLER! FUCK!" They screamed, the multiple sensations overwhelming them.
"That's it. That's what I wanted to hear..." He sighed.
All it took was a few more thrusts, that's all. With those final powerful, sadistic thrusts, y/n came undone. He pulled out quickly, cupping his mouth over their sopping hole. The suction of his lips against their pussy guided them through their orgasm. The Riddler groaned against their sensitive skin, lapping up all their arousal and climax. With a satisfied moan, he unlatched his lips and swiped his tongue around them. Some of their orgasm dripped onto the mask, but he cared very little about that. Standing over them, he stroked his length, head tilted back as he did so. Eyes were closed shut as he felt himself nearing his climax. His breathing quickened in pace, chest heaving up and down as he let out soft groans. Y/n could tell he was about to cum. Immediately, y/n crawled towards him, albeit shakily, and lowered their mouth on his cock. A loud moan slipped out of the Riddler, looking down to see y/n sucking harshly on his dick. The sight pushed him over and he felt his dick pulse inside their mouth as he released inside of it. He gripped onto their hair harshly, tugging on it as he hunched over. Y/n popped off of his dick after swallowing the thick liquid. They hated the taste of it, but they so desperately wanted to please him. A string of cum and saliva connected their lips to the tip of his dick. Using his thumb, he wiped it off their bottom lip. Y/n fell back onto the bed, grabbing a pillow and hugging it tight to their chest. The both of them were panting, catching their breath that was lost in the sinful exchange they committed.
Edward stood still, tucking himself back into his underwear. He groaned, rolling his head around to work out a kink in his neck. Removing his mask, he placed it on dresser near the bed. Y/n watched him as he did this, giving him time to calm down. He removed his jacket, revealing a dark green tank top underneath. His pants were next to go, tossing it somewhere in the room. Mumbling to himself, he got in bed next to y/n, pulling them close to his chest.
"God, I missed that..." He sighed.
"Me too...does this mean we're back together?" They asked.
"I'd like to think so. What about you?"
"Yeah, I'd like that."
Edward rolled over on his back, staring at the ceiling for a moment. Y/n turned on their side, facing him. As he breathed y/n watched his chest rise up and down. The rhythm soothed them, almost like counting sheep. Sitting up with a grunt, Edward sat on the side of the bed. It was from this angle that y/n realized how toned Edward was. He had gained a bit of weight since they last saw him. But, that was honestly a good thing. He was very skinny before, almost unhealthy. Y/n was glad to see a little more meat on his bones.
"Whatcha doin'?" They asked.
"Honestly, trying not to pass out. But, I was going to get a washcloth to clean you up." He yawned, rubbing his eyes.
"Oooh, Edward Nashton's world famous aftercare. Can I have a glass of wine and a cheese platter as well?" They asked.
"Mmm, I forgot how funny you are after you get your guts rearranged..." He said sarcastically.
He stood up from the bed, tripping over his feet slightly as he made his way to the bathroom. Y/n giggled, missing their boyfriend dearly. The both of them were undoubtedly glad to be back together, even if it was a result of Edward breaking into y/n's apartment. After a few moments, he came out of the bathroom, glasses slightly crooked and eyes barely open. Y/n was rarely tired after sex, but Edward usually did get tired. It honestly just depended on how rough he was. And, he was extremely rough tonight. Y/n gave him a kiss, holding his face in the palm of their hand. Pulling away, y/n looked to see if it woke him up at all. And, surprisingly, it did. He had a dorky smile on his face as he held the damp washcloth in his hand.
"I can make you some coffee afterwards if you'd like?" Y/n suggested.
Edward nodded as he gently placed the cloth on their thigh. Rubbing softly, he wiped away their arousal. His eyes were so bright and caring, just like the subtle smile that was on his face. With one final wipe, he placed the cloth in the hamper. Y/n started to sit up, but Edward stopped them. Carefully, he dragged them to the edge of the bed, legs dangling off the edge. Y/n sat up very slowly, stomach sore from the sex. Edward walked to the dresser, thinking for a moment before he opened one of the drawers. He pulled out a pair of underwear. Holding that in his hand, he opened another drawer and grabbed a pair of sweats. He closed all of the drawers he opened and went back to y/n.
"I'm surprised I remembered which ones to open." He chuckled.
Y/n smiled as he slide the pair of underwear up their legs. He was cautious around the inside of their upper thighs. Edward knew they would be extra sensitive, so he did his best to be as gentle as possible. Once the underwear was on, he helped them put on sweatpants as well.
"Ok, uh, where do you keep your coffee? Same place?" He asked, standing up.
Y/n nodded, resting their head against his stomach. Edward smiled widely, patting their head softly. He leaned down, placing a chaste kiss on the top of their head. Pulling away, he started to leave the room.
"Go piss." He stated simply.
(a/n: everyone should pee after they have sex, it helps flush out any bacteria and prevents UTI's :) make sure you all stay healthy!)
"Oh God, Edward. Really? You couldn't have found a more blunt way to say that?" They laughed, slowly standing up on shaky legs.
"I could if I tried. Do you need help?" He asked, hand on the door frame.
"No, I'm ok. Thanks though." They said.
Edward nodded, leaving the room to let y/n take care of themselves. Yawning, he walked past the couch, stretching out his arms. He glanced at the T.V and chuckled. Earlier, classical music was playing. And now? Well, obviously, the Pokemon: Indigo League theme song was playing. Seeing and hearing the song gave Edward the sudden urge to watch the show. He got a pot of coffee brewing, the smell raising goosebumps on his skin. Edward knew that y/n worked at a coffee shop, they have been for the past couple years. He knew that y/n could make a really good cup of coffee. A few minutes later, y/n came walking out of the bedroom, legs shaking slightly as they walked. Edward had a cocky grin on his face.
"I think I did a pretty good job tonight..." He said softly, voice slightly hoarse.
"No shit, I don't think I'll walk straight for a whole week. Work is going to suck on Monday." They groaned.
Edward looked in the cabinet where the coffee mugs were, smirking when he found his old mug. He poured some coffee in the green mug, taking a sip immediately afterwards. He sighed, feeling better even after the first sip.
"You kept my mug." He said.
"Well, it was really all I had as a reminder of you." They smiled.
"Oh, that reminds me..."
Edward placed the mug down, walking over to corner of the living room. Looking around, he scratched the back of his head. Y/n grabbed a juice box from the fridge, suddenly craving something fruity. They watched as Edward bent over and grabbed something from off the ground. He made his way back over to y/n, holding whatever he picked up behind his back. Y/n raised an eyebrow, glancing to the T.V and seeing that Heavy Metal Lover by Lady Gaga was playing. Edward snapped his fingers in front of their face.
"Hey, no Gaga! Not yet. I've got something to show you." He chuckled.
Y/n brought their attention, biting on the straw of the juice box as they took a sip. Edward brought one of his hands out from behind his back and held it in front of y/n. Removing the juice box from their lips, the set it on the counter. They gasped, holding their hands over their mouth.
"Oh my God, Edward! It's Sir Clawdius!" They squealed.
Edward smiled as they snatched the bear out of his hand. When y/n and Edward split up, y/n couldn't find the bear anywhere. They had assumed that they lost it. But, Edward had it the whole time.
"I will admit that I snuck it away when I left, I just wanted a piece of you with me. I meant to return it, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I brought it with me because I was finally going to give it back to you. So, yeah...sorry." He looked down sheepishly.
"Oh Edward, I'm not mad. I'm relieved that he was safe with you!" They giggled.
"Oh, well that's a relief. I thought you might try to maul me or something..."
"Maybe..."
"What? Please don't..."
"I'm kidding. Go drink your coffee! I'm going to put this li' guy up on my shelf!" They said.
Edward grabbed his coffee, leaning against the counter as y/n walked to the desk they drew at. He smiled as the warm drink went down his throat. Standing on their tippy-toes, they reached up and slid Sir Clawdius up on the top shelf, right next to the Leon Kennedy drawing.
"Oh yeah, I meant to ask. Is that a recent drawing? Did you play RE4 recently?" He asked, an eyebrow raised.
"Uh, maybe...don't look at the game in my console..."
"Ok, well that answers that question. But, I have another question. Have you done a speed run of it yet?" He asked.
"No, I take my time playing that game. I like the graphics..."
Edward shook his head slowly as he finished the last of his coffee. Y/n looked away, fighting back a goofy smile.
"Oh yeah, the graphics...totally. By graphics do you mean you like getting Leon hurt on purpose because he moans every single time?" He asked.
"This is becoming an interrogation and I am exercising my 4th amendment. So, I don't have to answer anything."
"Ok. Well, you basically confirmed my theory. Plus, I've seen you play the game in the middle of the night when I lived with you."
"You did!?"
"A lot. Every single time you were either angling the camera to get a better look at him or running into fights on purpose. So..."
"Ooh! I'm going to ignore the fact that you said that and pretend like we never had this conversation! That sounds like a really good idea!" They said cheerily, sitting down on the couch.
Edward rolled his eyes, sitting down next to them. He exhaled softly and watched as y/n turned off Spotify and turned it onto the console. Lo and behold, the most recent game played was RE4. Y/n handed the controlled to Edward, gesturing for him to take it.
"I wanna watch you play. Every time you get hurt is another picture of Leon Kennedy I will draw."
"Oh wow, you are very sleep deprived aren't you?" He laughed.
Edward took the controller and started to play the game. While he played, y/n slid under his arm, resting their head against his chest. They watched him play until they eventually drifted off into sleep. Edward smiled and turned the game off, holding y/n close to him as he picked them up. Going in their bedroom, he placed them under the covers and crawled in next to them. He let them fall asleep snuggled up into his side as he rubbed their back. He had been through a lot of problems while they were separated. And it was true that he went down a very dark path. But, he was so thankful for y/n, glad that they snapped him out of it. For now, he was happy, holding the love of his life in his arms once again. That was truly all he needed in his life. The warm and comforting embrace of his best friend was the one thing that could cure him of any ailment, any troubling thoughts, and could bring him out of the darkness that clouded his mind like a thick fog. He was as happy as he could ever be in this one moment.
He would never leave them again.
~
#writers#fanfic writer#writers of tumblr#fanfic#gotham#the riddler#dc universe#edward nashton#paul dano riddler#the batman 2022#the batman riddler#paul dano#danonation#batman 2022#dano riddler
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His Queen - Walter Deville x reader - Oneshot request!
Anon request!
=
Walter sighed, rubbing his hands down his face; quite everyone had been getting on his nerves as of late, either by sheer incompetence, or unknowingly stepping into his bubble when he just wanted to go see his wife.
He just wanted to sit by the fire, reading a good book, with his beloved curled up next to him; humming a small tune as she read her book alongside him. but-alas-lord of the manor duty called.
“What do you mean-they escaped?” Walter hissed, feeling the vein in his forehead pulse as he stared down the small group of servants, most of which had been here for at least 10 years, though one was only nearing 3. “it’s-it’s as I said master Deville,” the tallest one said as politely as he could, eyes to the floor “they escaped through the servant's pathways, we think Lady Klopstock’s, erm, feeding upon the maids wrists helped her slip free of her bindings.” Walter groaned, this is why he had those neck cuffs, so problems like this didn’t come up.
“Well, she couldn’t have gotten far. Go find her. And make sure she's returned, or have fresh blood, before tomorrow night, you all as well should know that is Lady Deville’s night.” Walter hissed, feeling his fangs licking at his inner lip, his servants all nodding and rushing off as soon as he waved his hand; calling for his personal butler.
“I’ll be in my study for the rest of the night, I am not to be disturbed. I’ve had enough of” he waved his hand dismissively to the manor, meaning everyone inside it, including the butler “this, for a lifetime.”
With that, Walter turned on his heel and walked into his study, sighing as he locked the door behind him. he cracked his neck with a groan, opening his eyes to see someone who made his shoulders drop and his body relax.
You sat on his study couch, his favorite book resting on the other side with a small cup of his favorite tea, your favorite book in your hands as a blanket covering your legs. You looked up when he entered, a smile coming to your painted lips as he locked eyes with you.
“long day my love?” you asked, voice regal and wise beyond his years, reaching your hands out as he huffed and wandered over to you, taking off his button-up and flinging it towards his desk, allowing himself to melt into your embrace. “long month, everyone is stupid” Walter muttered into your chest, feeling all his stress flow away as your perfectly manicured nails massaged and scratched his scalp.
Gods he loved you.
“Everyone?” you teased, knowing how far he would go to make sure you know he never meant you. And he did, he sat up, looking right into your eyes with the most serious expression he could muster “not you, never you” Walter grumbled, immediately taking your face and peppering kisses along your face and jaw, smiling against your skin as you laughed, wrapping your arms around his torso. “you’re smarter than even the most celebrated alchemist, those mortals could never amount to you”
You laughed again, humming into the kiss he pressed to your lips, running your tongue along your fangs as Walter dipped down to kiss your neck and ears. “Good to know”.
All too soon, your peace was interrupted and Walter huffed, “I told him, no one is to disturb us” Walter nearly growled, pushing himself off you and practically stomping over to the door, unlocking and pulling open the door. “what?”
And there stood Viktoria, her eyes bored and green with Envy. “Viktoria” Walter sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose “what do you want? Im busy right now” Viktoria’s eyes flicked over to you and you smirked back, knowing just how much she envied you, and yet no matter how much she bitched or attempted to sway Walter away; you always came out on top.
Without even having to lift a finger, such came the perks of being Walter’s favorite, along with being the Vampire who gave him this very life. She whispered something to him, something you didn’t care to listen to, knowing it was a way to get him away from you disguised as a request for his company.
“I must decline Viktoria; I’ve had a long day and I have no energy to entertain for the night. Im sure Lucy would love to have dinner with you though” with that, he closed the door, huffing as Viktoria audibly growled in frustration and Jealously as Walter walked back over to you, taking the tea you had set out for him and beginning to drink, the stress from his shoulders beginning to melt away.
“I heard the maid set for me tomorrow got away” you murmured, shaking your head as Walter sighed, a slight panic in his eyes “as well as Viktoria feeding on her without permission, she’s been doing that as of late.” Walter sighed again, Viktoria time and time again, ever since she had been married to him, she had done whatever she pleased; even if it meant your displeasure, which included going after your meals when told not to.
The escaped maid had just been one of those recent defying acts. If she wanted to be among the top within the family, she needed to start acting like it instead of being a spoiled child. “I’ll talk with her” Walter groaned, taking his place beside you “she shouldn’t be so out of turn like that, especially against you.” You just hummed, Viktoria had never liked you, especially once she learned what you were.
You were even older than Walter, a powerful vampire empress who Walter had fallen hard for, and no other woman would take your place; something she strived to do, even if she was just pissing Walter off in the meantime.
“she has yet to realize she isn’t the only woman within that family, there are plenty of girls of age who are dying for a chance to be implemented into the family” you muttered, and Walter agreed with a hum, his hands mindlessly rubbing your legs. “any luck on the Alexander family”
“no dice” Walter said with a puff of his cheeks “only male heir’s, and I believe the babe Emmaline and that footman had together is barely into his 30’s now, and we have no info on him whatsoever.” you just hummed, Emmaline had been one of your favorites of the Alexander brides, she was a kind woman with strong morals; something you actually appreciated. You still had fond memories of your human life, and to see her humanity remain strong within her had been a kind reminder of it.
It had been a heartbreaking day when you and Walter had come across her beheaded body.
“Someone will come up soon, we just have to be patient” you hummed, reaching across the couch and taking Walter’s chin, encouraging him to smile with your own. “everything will work out my darling” Walter huffed, taking your hand and closing his eyes, pressing his lips to your knuckles.
“of course, of course.” He leaned forward, pecking your lips. “you always know what to say my love” you just laughed, your nose scrunching lightly as a slight flush covered your cheeks “and you know just how to make me blush amica mea” it was Walter’s turn to blush, chuckling at your sweet voice. He kissed you again then grabbed his book, settling into the couch beside you as he finally got to relax after a stressful month.
-
Walter huffed as he came to a slow stop, the prey he had been hunting limping away, blood leading him right to them. The maid that was meant to be your meal for today had completely evaded recapture, and so Walter had taken it upon himself to get shit done. Shit being; getting food for his queen.
“Walter?” he glanced to his side, seeing Lucy had joined him on this winter night, snow falling into her lashes “may I help you retrieve lady Deville’s meal for the night?” Walter smiled and nodded.
“of course, go cut him off at the tree line, I’ll keep at his back.” Lucy beamed, eager to help her husband hunt for the queen of the manor, and bolted off faster than Walter could blink. She was always eager to prove herself in your eyes, not knowing she had already done so by being as respectful and sweet as she was.
Soon enough, the prey was captured, barely struggling as Walter and Lucy dragged him back by his ankles, Lucy mentioning how she hoped you would be pleased with their offering. Walter just hummed, feeling a small flush to his cheeks as he and Lucy made their way into the manor and up the stairs toward your grand bedroom.
Shoving open the door and throwing the fresh catch to the floor, Lucy announced herself and Walter with a grand gesture to the man sobbing on the dark oak wood. “Lady Deville? We bring you fresh prey”
Walter felt his chest puff as you gave a satisfied hum and set down your glass of wine “how kind of you carissimi mei, now; let's take a look at him~” you stood and turned, closing your book as you did, smiling as you looked down upon your meal your beloved and his wife had captured just for you. “my my, you two did wonderfully.” Lucy grinned as Walter tucked his chin into his chest, while he was usually unafraid to show how your praise made him feel, being around a mortal and one of his wives made him a bit shy. “thank you my dears.” You stepped closer, taking Walter's chin and kissing his cheek, smiling at Lucy as she continued to beam. “I will eat well tonight, now” you took a few steps forward until you were standing over the man, eyes glowing within the dim light from your fireplace. “I’m starving~”
The man whimpered, closing his eyes as you grabbed his throat and bared your fangs, Lucy and Walter were unable to look away as you dove into his neck, his blood spilling to the floor and staining your skin. Walter licked his lips, feeling his body heat up as he watched you indulge yourself on the meal he and Lucy caught for you, remembering when he was still human and had been the one receiving your fangs, your arms cradling him as his hands wove tightly around your neck.
He shook his head to bring himself back to the present, clearing his throat to let Lucy know it was time to leave. She did so with a bow, hurrying off to her room to release some steam. He turned his attention back to you, lifting his head just so as you stood, wiping your mouth and chin clean with a napkin Walter handed you.
“Thank you amica mea, that was delicious. Be sure to order some of those pastries Lucy is so fond of, to thank her.” Walter nodded, mentally adding that to his to-do list as your hands curled up his arms, your eyes dark with want “now, I think I’ll have my other meal” Walter just smirked, closing his eyes as your blood-stained lips pressed against his, your hips pressing against his, rubbing up against his erection.
“my pretiosum” you purred, your clawed hands breaching the loose fabric of his button-up and feeling his heated skin “Already so ready for me? Deliciae~” Walter chuckled, pressing his body to yours, his hands drawing up your back. “For you? always” he whispered out, staring into your near-glowing eyes.
You hummed, kissing him again and pushing him back towards the bed, taking the lead as you always did.
-
Viktoria started with near disgusted eyes as she, Lucy, you, and Walter sat out on the patio, having their breakfast as Walter went over some paperwork. The two of you sat next to each other, Walter’s chair pointed towards yours as Lucy and Viktoria sat across, Lucy happily indulging in some of the pastries you had made sure Walter ordered While Viktoria miserably sipped at her mimosa.
She had been recently reprimanded for indulging herself in Lady Deville's assigned meal, doing so after being told that particular maid was to be yours. She of course had done it on purpose, both testing to see how far she could push the boundaries while hoping Walter would (somehow) be impressed with her boldness.
It hadn’t, it just made him angry, angry enough for him to threaten to break her off from the family and marry another Klopstock; since there was no short supply of them.
She would have to change her tactics, as her current ones were only damaging her chances of becoming the lady Deville. Her eyes narrowed behind her glass as Walter whispered something into your ear, a smile on his face as you laughed, pressing a kiss to your cheek before he grabbed your hand and went back to his work.
Viktoria’s eye twitched as you looked up at her, a smug smirk on your face as your eyes flashed with victory.
‘mine’
-end-
this was fun, i love writing soft/simp Thomas characters, considering that's how i write them all the time XDXDXD but ye~ elder vamp queen reader and simp Walter~ hope yall liked~
taglist!
@thetrueghostqueen @littlewierdalien @omgsuperstarg
#the invitation#Walter Deville x reader#Walter Deville#vamp reader#elder vamp reader#simp walter#oneshot request
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Miku Wrap-up 2022
Another year comes to an end and it's time to look back and reflect, so here's my top 10 favorite Mikus of the year!
#10:
While this has a few janky bits that keep it from being higher up I can't help but adore her smarmy ass look, the foot up on an unoccupied chair and the little details with the dice and the cards.
#9:
This one, inspired by the Bayeux Tapestry, is just so ridiculous I can't help but love it. It's somewhat a spiritual successor to the Goya inspired Miku and emulating the style/appearance of such old art was a joy, as was filling in the gaps with a few Miku related references.
#8:
Speaking of the ridiculous, this Loss meme parody I titled Gain.png still gets me. Doing the Gumi for the body pillow was also fun and Miku is very cute in this.
#7:
I have no idea why I drew this even then but fuck me is it good. Don't think I've drawn a pony since a few poor attempts over a decade before this. I love how AJ came out and the idea of like, Applejack carrying home a drunk Miku while chiding her for having too much cider is so fucking good to me.
#6:
This one is rather simple honestly, but I just love how clear the silhouette is and the highlights from the back lighting. This was inspired by an AURORA concert my sister invited me to.
#5:
Im still very happy with how this came out, especially in regards to the lighting. I feel like I made a lot of headway here as an artist, even if parts of it could stand to be cleaner.
#4:
Hatslimey Migoo looks so relaxed here, the details I was able to include for the room such as the water under the door are great and the small bit of landscape outside the window is something I'm extremely proud of. Had I just a bit more time with this piece I think it could have placed even higher.
#3
This one's a bit special cuz uh, it's fucking me lmao. Not only is this my high school duds, the location is also based off the liquor store I used to bum around at after school senior year. I still have the pants (they're more shredded now) and the black and white sleeve (actually leg warmers). The only real anachronism is the black nails- my dad wouldn't let me do that cuz he said I'd look like a fag lmao. Looking at this piece brings me just immense amounts of joy and soothes that part of me still in highschool and mad about it.
#2:
Honestly this and the #1 spot are really tough to decide which goes where but I think I'm happy with this. Based off some AI generated text (no doubt written by Miku herself) Not only is this the most successful piece I've done notes-wise it's also my first one where I drew more akin to painting then to coloring cleaned up lines, a process I made a ton of progress with over the year. There's very few things about this I would change (namely a few details in the final panel) but the way this comic is laid out was and is excellent. I feel this piece is the biggest jump in overall quality I had during the year.
Honorable mention:
While i do adore these, especially the top left and bottom one, there are a few issues that keep it from being in the top 10 properly. I also wanted to avoid this list being just every Hatslimey Migoo piece which actually brings me to the final entry and my favorite Miku of the year 2022-
#1:
The original Hatslimey Migoo, before she even had that name. This piece is very interesting because I had pissed away most of time and couldn't do the Miku I had thought about doing up to that point. Unwilling to do proper anatomy either, because again, I had gotten too wrapped up in runescape and was low on time, It popped in my head that I could make her a slime girl. I can't mess up getting bodily structure right if there is no proper bodily structure after all. The result couldn't have been better. She's so cute and adorable and this is easily the best original design I've yet to do for Miku. I doubt I'll top it for some time. The pieces came together naturally- her color had to be green to give her that Miku color, she had a few spots to give some detail, her arms were bulky to be reminiscent of her sleeves the headset was to help push visually that this was, indeed, Hatsune Miku and her eyes were pink to stand out and draw attention to them. Created in haste, Hatslimey Migoo has gone on to fill my heart with joy (and slime) and if I could pick any of my Mikus to be adopted by the wider vocaloid fan base it would have to be Migoo.
Thats my top 10 for 2022, I'll see you next year to wrap up this year- I'm sure I'll make even better Mikus! If you like these and wish to support me, I have a Patreon where I upload the full PSD, PNG and a 60 second time lapse of the Miku being drawn. It's only 2$ a month and it means a lot to me.
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Noel Fielding On The Last Days Of The Mighty Boosh, The End Of His Youth, And His Camden Camel
He worked 'incredibly hard' to elevate the Mighty Boosh to arena-filling world tours. Then they imploded, 'Luxury Comedy' got cancelled and so did 'Never Mind the Buzzcocks'. Noel Fielding frets to Alice Jones about being 'in limbo', the possibility of children and being the next Spike Milligan
Noel Fielding: Cult comedy status (Dan Burn-Forti)
“I'm not Mr Weird,” says Noel Fielding. “I don't go home and live in a psychedelic castle made out of bubbles, you know.” So what is his house like? “It is quite psychedelic, actually. It's like Yellow Submarine in there.” He guffaws and throws himself back on the sofa, kicking his silver pixie boots into the air.
The boots are the least outlandish element of the comedy star's look today, comprising as it does tight jeans, a shaggy black fur coat with a Chanel logo spray-painted on the back, a giant patent handbag in the shape of a watermelon and, painted across his face, some bright Bowie zig-zags. Does he ever have a dress-down day, slob out a bit? “What, when I put big shorts on? Don't do my hair?” He looks a bit baffled. “I don't go out like that.” When he was younger, he saw Jarvis Cocker in the street, looking cool in top-to-toe corduroy, “and I remember thinking, if you ever become famous, you have to maintain your image. If you saw Nick Cave in the supermarket in tracksuit bottoms, you'd kill yourself. I'm not particularly a slippers and dressing gown type. I don't have that wiring. I don't have a weird tracksuit I put on when I get in… That's not my zone.”
Noel Fielding's zone, as most people know by now, is surreal, funny, psychedelic and a little bit rock'n'roll. (The day after we meet, he interviews Ronnie Wood in Waterstone's about his new book and posts a picture online; they look like father and son – all angles and bouffant hair.) He attained cult comedy status as one half of the Mighty Boosh and mainstream fame on Never Mind the Buzzcocks. His rival team captain on the show, Phill Jupitus, dubbed him a “gothic George Best”; his best friend, Serge Pizzorno of Kasabian, called him a “modern-day Dali”. He is a playful polymath, hopping about in his pointy boots from sitcoms to animations to stand-up, acting to art exhibitions. “Just say I'm a genius,” he drawls.
With Julian Barratt in 'The Mighty Boosh', 2008 (BBC)
He is about to go on tour for a second UK leg of his solo show, An Evening With Noel Fielding, having already taken it around the UK, Australia and New Zealand. “I start getting bored and misbehaving if I don't work hard. It's fine when you're younger, you go out a lot and muck around with your mates and drink and stuff, but I'm a bit over that now.” When the Boosh was at its height – the final arena tour in 2009 played to more than a quarter-of-a-million fans – Fielding would party all night with his younger brother Mike (aka Naboo from the Boosh), then get up at 6pm in time for the next show's soundcheck. His current tour, still featuring Mike in a variety of daft roles, including Fielding's fictional wife, has, by contrast, been the “peppermint tea tour”. “We're too old. I'm too old,” he says.
There is more than one moment in the show when he wonders why he's still prancing around pretending to be a chicken boy, or a herbal teabag, or the moon (which he plays, memorably, by covering his face with half a can of shaving foam). Is he worried about getting older? “Forty-two, Jesus Christ. Peter Pan… When you're young, people say, 'Yeah, he's young, he's daft, he does all this weird stuff,' and then you have success and people say, 'Oh right, he's good.' And maybe in 10 years, I'll be seen as eccentric, like Vic Reeves or Spike Milligan, which would be amazing. But I suppose I'm in this weird transitional period between having some success doing weird stuff and not being eccentric yet. I'm in limbo!”
He cackles, but limbo is on the nail. Earlier this year, Never Mind the Buzzcocks was axed. Fielding, who had been on the show since 2009, found out when the press did. “If a show has lasted that long and people like it, why would you get rid of it? It wasn't losing ratings. People liked it, it wasn't an aggressive male panel show. I liked it before I was on it.” Would he have carried on? “Yeah! I loved doing it – it was very easy… I never know the thinking behind television.”
He is still smarting, too, from his last solo foray on E4, Luxury Comedy. In fact, it is all he wants to talk about, though the second series was broadcast more than 18 months ago and there won't be a third. “No! It was too harrowingly stressful. Someone called the show the second 9/11,” he says with a sad little grin. “We live in strange times.”
He had “absolute freedom” to do what he liked on the show. So there were cartoons and characters such as Roy Circles, a chocolate finger with shellshock; Secret Peter, who is made out of melted Jelly Tots; and Fantasy Man, who rides a porcelain unicorn called Arnold 5. Why didn't it work? “Maybe there were just way too many characters and not enough time to digest them all. What I liked was that it didn't adhere to any rules. It was like, 'Well, we're doing this and then this and then this and then this and then it's over. Bye!'” he sighs. “We shouldn't have called it Luxury Comedy, we should have called it something weird. The problem with calling it a comedy is that it's got to be funny, first and foremost. And we paid as much attention to the visual side of it. I would maintain, regardless of what people thought of it, that there were more ideas in one episode than in most things. It was brave.”
In 2009, his first year as a captain on 'Never Mind the Buzzcocks', with singer Aston Merrygold of JLS and the comedian David O'Doherty (Rex)
Where do his ideas come from? “I don't know what's wrong with me. There is something wrong with me,” he says. “I don't know if it's just because my mum and dad were into a lot of psychedelic stuff in the 1960s and 1970s. You know in Asterix when Obelix fell into the magic potion? I think I fell into a pot of LSD. I've always had a good imagination. If I saw a sitcom and everything was made out of cheese, I wouldn't go 'WHAT?!' I wouldn't get angry. I'd think, 'Right, OK, all cheese? Amazing…'”
Born in London to young, liberal parents, Fielding grew up a “painfully shy” child who loved drawing. No one ever thought the young Noel would become a comedian, but he adored Vic and Bob, and while he was at art college in Buckinghamshire in the mid-1990s, he started writing odd little stories. One night he decided to perform them, at his first gig, in Cambridge; as it happened, his future colleague Jupitus was on the bill. “I was going to run away because I couldn't handle it but he gave me a big hug and said, 'They're just people, it's fine. Just do it.' And it went really well.”
He met Julian Barratt soon after, and the Boosh was born. They won the Perrier Award for Best Newcomer at the Edinburgh Fringe in 1998, landed a Radio 4 series, and their TV show began on BBC3 in 2004. Would it still be commissioned now, in these risk-averse, online-BBC3 times? “Yeah. I thought we were good. We were one of the best live acts around. We worked so incredibly hard. There was no option of not getting on. I was so driven.”
At the height of the Boosh's popularity, Mike Myers wanted to write a film with them, and, Fielding tells me, Jack Black and Ben Stiller were desperate to work with them. Robin Williams came to their show. They had offers to go to America. “Maybe we should have gone – that would have been a way of sustaining it. [But] we needed a break. We'd worked together for 15 years, every day. We were sick of each other.”
Did they argue? “No, that's the problem, slightly. It was just a lot of tension. Like a marriage. All of a sudden it was just POWWWW and everyone was sick of each other. It was mental. We didn't have a day off in 10 years. It was like being in The Beatles.”
The end came in 2009, after a 100-date tour. They were making a lot of money and there were a lot of people with a vested interest in keeping it going. “So we tried to write a film, and it all sort of imploded.”
Barratt now has eight-year old twin boys with his partner, the comedian Julia Davis. Fielding and he are still friends; they live on the same street in north London and play tennis together. “The possibility of us doing something together is always still there,” says Fielding. Ideally, a Boosh film. “The combination of us two was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. You meet someone and you just work, you have chemistry on stage, and writing. That will never happen again for me, I don't think. Which is a real shame. I work with a lot of good people in a good way, like Russell [Brand] and Richard Ayoade, but I don't think I'll ever have that again.”
He is just back from a month in France where he was writing a family film – “a Time Bandits/Labyrinth thing” – and two TV shows (one for America). He'd like to write a children's book, and to act. “But not a part that someone would give me; something people wouldn't imagine.” He struggles to focus on one thing at a time. “If I was rich, it would be fine...” He must be quite rich. “I'm all right. But it goes pretty quickly.”
He lives with his long-term girlfriend, the XFM DJ Lliana Bird, and is at once intrigued and horrified by the idea of having children: “My friends who have kids look like they haven't been to bed for a year. They all look like they've been shot in the legs, or have typhoid or something,” he says. “Because of the Boosh, I got trapped. It takes 10 years to get where you want to get and then you have 10 years there and you think, fuck, I'm this age, all my friends have 10-year old kids… I suppose if it happens, I'll concentrate on that. It's a selfish life being a comedian, isn't it? Bit self-obsessed, really.”
Does he find real life a little boring? “Yeah. Painfully dull. I guess I've carved out a style and once you have some success with that, then there's an expectation that you will do something slightly different. You can't just abandon it, it's part of what you do. It's hard to change. I'd like to do something more real, I've never tried that. That's what I'm trying to write next – something simple.” How's that going? He hoots. “Well, it's a story about a camel. Who lives in Camden.”
Alice Jones is deputy arts editor of The Independent. 'An Evening with Noel Fielding' tours the UK from 12 November to 13 December; a DVD of the live show is out on 16 November
Beyond Boosh: How the mighty have moved on
Julian Barratt
Barratt, who played Howard, has continued to act on TV (Little Crackers, Being Human) and on stage (The Government Inspector at the Young Vic, NSFW at the Royal Court) while also directing, and narrating several BBC documentaries.
Mike Fielding
The Boosh took its name from a Spanish friend's description of the childhood hairstyle (“mighty bush”) worn by Noel's brother, who played Naboo. He moved to Australia after the Boosh toured there. He will appear in the film Zombie Women of Satan 2 in 2016.
Dave Brown
In addition to being a comedian and actor, Brown (Bollo the ape) is an art director who designs books and DVD covers – including those for the Boosh's live tour and boxset – and has mounted photography exhibitions of fellow comedians.
Rich Fulcher
The American comedian, who played Bob Fossil, co-wrote and starred in BBC3 sketch show Snuff Box, with Matt Berry. He also adapted his 2009 book Tiny Acts of Rebellion into a sell-out stage show at the Edinburgh Fringe.
Saturday 17 October 2015 [x]
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i feel pretty confident that the batfam would be invited to the met gala every year, so in honor of the occasion and tonight’s absolute mess of a red carpet, here’s how I think the bats would conduct themselves:
Dick: eats it the fuck up every year. he is on theme, he is gorgeous, he is ostentatious, he is COMMITTED. My source? Discowing. That’s a man who would have known what to do w the camp theme.
Bruce: used to go solely to keep up appearances and wore a black tux every year regardless of theme BUT since dick became involved he has stepped up his game and, though still very understated, includes some minor details that nod to the theme. he takes pictures and then disappears after <10 mins of actual socialization
Jason: Insufferable. Literally the worst. Wears a jewel toned tux that is like?? Vaguely?? On theme if you squint and then just lines his waterline or paints his nails to match his suit and uses words like “subversive” and “non conformity” in the interviews. does he believe that? no, but he thinks it’s funny to see how low the bar truly is for hot men and he put off arranging his fit until like last week. (also it annoys dick, so bonus)
Tim: Actually the only person capable of showing Dick up, but no one notices bc he’s SO on theme that his outfit is a conglomerate of nuance and cultural references that literally no one except 6 ppl on fashion Twitter understand and is way too complex to convey in the 30 sec interviews, so to the untrained eye he just looks a lil weird and lands in the dead middle of the outfit reviews every year, to his undying chagrin.
Barbara: decides whether or not she wants to go based on what the year’s theme is. her outfits are always on the understated but on theme, but she makes headlines every year she goes just because whether she’ll attend is always up in the air. the year that she showed up with dick on her arm set Twitter on fire, second only to the following year, when she showed up with dick very noticeably NOT on her arm and in her first mega extravagant outfit
Cass: Monochromatic black fit every year, but it’s ALWAYS on theme and has caused her to have a cult twt following that’s obsessed with her cool girl nonchalance or w/e, which is rlly hard for them considering that she’s seen in public about three times a year. there’s a meme every year of her looking distressed while obviously avoiding eye contact w interviewers
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Get to know me ask game
@pandasmagorica and @waitmyturtles both tagged me with slightly different versions. I'm going with @waitmyturtles' version, but as @pandasmagorica pointed out, bolding alone doesn't show up with screen readers, so I've added "bolded" to the ones I've bolded (and sometimes a modifier).
RULES: bold the ones that are true & tag 10 people to do it.
APPEARANCE
blonde hair (no, but did as a child) // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing (bolded) // I have one or more piercings (bolded - but I only have them in my ears) // I have at least one tattoo (bolded - three) // I have dyed or highlighted my hair (no - but did previously) // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces (bolded, though I'm unsure if the removable kind I had counts as "braces" or if it's called something else) // I sunburn easily (bolded - my only available skin colours are boiled codfish or boiled crabfish) // I have freckles (bolded - but my other moles/beauty spots are more visible, I'm a freaking star chart) // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball hats backwards (bolded - sometimes! It depends on which side of my head I need to protect from the sun)
HOBBIES & TALENTS
I play a sport // I can play an instrument (bolded - several, but not well) // I am artistic // I know more than one language (bolded - I have studied about a dozen, but am only fluent in two) // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition (bolded - but not any impressive ones *g*) // I can cook or bake without a recipe (bolded) // I know how to swim (bolded - I love swimming) // I enjoy writing (bolded - though perhaps it's more true to say I enjoy having written *g*) // I can do origami (bolded - sure, simple things like boxes) // I prefer movies to tv shows (bolded - but honestly, it's both, and as much of both as I have time for) // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing (bolded - I used to be in choirs back when I had the time) // I could survive in the wild on my own (italics - yes, I know it's cheating, but... how long are we talking here? Which wilds? What's the weather? I was a girl scout, but I was never a very good one.) // I have read a new book series this year (bolded - not a whole series, but I read the two first books in Jenny Jägerfeld's series about Sigge just last week) // I enjoy spending time with friends (bolded - not every day, though) // I travel during work or school breaks (bolded - a little bit, not very far. This summer, I made it to the next county over.)// I can do a handstand
RELATIONSHIP
I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year (bolded - sooo much longer than that!) // I have a crush // I have a best friend who I’ve known for ten years (bolded - I have known most of my friends longer than ten years. It's what happens at my age.) // my parents are together (bolded - 54 years of marriage and counting) // I have dated my best friend // I am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // I have a long distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends (bolded - I guess I do sometimes? Not as a habit, I don't think.) // I have made an online friend (bolded - several) // I met up with someone I have met online (bolded - more than once, including that time I went across the Atlantic for it!)
AESTHETICS
I have heard the ocean in a conch shell (bolded - but it was a long time ago) // I have watched the sun rise (bolded - I remember especially Easter mornings in my youth) // I enjoy rainy days// I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach (bolded - but I like the forest even more) // I know what snow tastes like (bolded - though the first thing that came to mind when I saw this was "never eat yellow snow") // I listen to music to fall asleep // I enjoy thunderstorms (bolded - I do rather, as long as I'm inside!) // I enjoy cloud watching (bolded - but I don't do it habitually the way I did as a teen) // I have attended a bonfire (yes, but it's been a few years, I really should go out for Valborg next year!) // I pay close attention to colors // I find mystery in the ocean // I enjoy hiking on nature paths (italics - sometimes, if the weather's nice and it's not longer than four or five miles) // autumn is my favorite season
MISCELLANEOUS
I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle (bolded) // I am the mom friend (absolutely not, which is why it's unfortunate that I work in a school. I hate telling people what to do.) // I live by a certain quote // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities (bolded - though that doesn't really exist as an adult, does it? But I volunteer for OTW translation and for a local film festival, I guess that counts.) // I enjoy Mexican food (Italics - I don't think I've ever eaten genuine Mexican food. I like tacos well enough? Don't usually cook it, though.) // I can drive a stick shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep (bolded - and at all other times) // I sing in the shower (bolded - and at other times too) // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 dogs
Tagging some mutuals who have appeared in my notes lately, apologies if anyone has already been tagged by others: @lena221bee @ryfkah @birdisland @shampoot @naapurinkissa @beccaelizabeth315 @pocket-elf @vierran45 @twiceturned
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Disney Month : Mary Poppins
For the second installment of Disney month ,we are gonna look at a film considered Disneys masterpiece ,Mary Poppins,in a special review requested by @the-blue-fairie ,that I had decided to postpone till Disney month
This 1964 film follows the Banks family who recieve a magical nanny in the form of Mary Poppins (Julie Andrews ) ,who along with Jack of All Trades,Bert (Dick Van Dyke) leads the Banks children on many an outlandish outing to the frustration of the very serious minded patriarch,George Banks (David Tomlinson )
....What do I even say about this movie,its very much beloved and seen as Walt Disneys magnum opus....And I agree,its a great movie,while Ive never been head over heels for it , I do love this movie ,its in my top 10 I think of favorite Disney movies ,top 20 at least .
I think the best way to describe the film is just magical .Part of that magic is the effects ,where they decided to use every trick in the book ,from beautiful matte paintings by the great Peter Ellenshaw ,to animatronics,to stop motion ,to a spectacular animated sequence .In fact I love the magical set pieces which include having a tea party on the ceiling ,climbing smoke above London , and the aforementioned scene where the leads enter an ilustration
I like the flexible reality of the film ,like Mary Poppins isnt just magic the world is a little diffrent.This is a world where when you laugh you float ,chimney sweeps are seeminly magic , and aguy runs his house like a shipand fires a canon everyday and no one bats an eye .I also like we dont get an explination of who Mary Poppins is nor really of who Bert is ,they are just these magical characters (Well Mary is,in this film it is ambiguious if Bert is )who help guide the kids and Mr Banks
Also the cast is just amazing filled with great performers.Filled with really great veteren peroformers,such as Elsa Lanchester as a failed nanny ,Reginald Owen as the aptly named Admiral Boom .Jane Darwell in her final role as the kindly bird woman , and Ed Wynn as the giggling Uncle Albert .Also I like supporting performances by Hermonie Baddley and Arthur Malet ( Who funny enough both would go on to be in the Secret Of NIMH )
Lets talk about the 4 top billed performers ,starting with the one who gets the least amount of screen time Glynis Johns as Winifred Banks,who is a suffragette. I like her performance ,and her song Sister Suffragette is catchy as hell ....But I'm confused if movie is pro suffragette,or mocking suffragettes .I have asked people and looked into it and no one seems to be able to tell ,especially with the ending of her character .I kind oif whish they went a little bit more into her character
David Tomlinson as George Banks ,is the most interesting aspect of the film ,and possibly my favorite performance in the film .In the years since this film the workaholic dad has become a trope ,and usuallly it is done pretty lazily ,but with Banks his problem he has a very rigid narrow way of seeing .He is obsessed with his well ordered little world,that he has become oblivious to not only the emotions of his loved ones but also taking life for granted ,illustrated thorugh the bird woman which leads to possibly the biggest tearjerker in the film .DAvid Tomlinson delivers one hell of a performance ,he nails the snooty repressed banker ,but also nails the befuddled comedy and above all the kind of heartbreaking side of the character as well as having moments of joy .I think he is severely underrated .Also Tomlinson does a few voice roles in the film and he does them realy well
Now while Tomlinson gives the best performance .....I think my favorite character is Bert . Berts a guy with a song in his heart and sunshine in his soul and he is perfect character to play off Mary .Bert is the heart of the film ,while Mary Poppins lays the groundwork for aiding the Banks family,it is Bert ,through two beautiful scenes who gets the ball rolling who helps the children understand their father,the father understand his children . Hes also the comic relief of the film being both goofy but heartfelt ,and Dick Van Dyke is brillaint a t both .ALso in the dance scenes ,HOLY COW ,Dick Van Dyke can move ,and he has great chemistry with Julie Andrewa. Dick Van Dyke also has a second role in the film as the main antagonist Mr Dawes Sr ,who is the verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry elderly boss of George Banks.Not quite a villain ,I wouldnt call him evil but he is a money obsessed old man,he is very much a comical antagonist (Though as a child he creeped me out a tiny bit ) ,and Van Dyke really pulls of a convincing old man performance ,one of my favorite double performances in film
What can I even say about Julie Andrews ,she won a much deserved oscar for this film and it made her a movie star .I find it funny that parodies often depict Mary Poppins as very sweet and this along with Sound of Music gave Julie Andrews a very sugary reputation.....Cause if you watch the movie,while the film is sentimental , Mary Poppins herself is not sugary ,shes very stern,no nonesnese , and a bit cold ,which is a perfect contrast to her more whimsical moments and her magical nature . Also I like that she plants ideas and get characters in position to where they can learn what they need to
The Songs are all brillaint,written by the Sherman Brothers ,there are 15 so I cant talk about them all .Plus several of the songs like Chim Chiminey , Spoonfull of Sugar and Supercalifragelisticexpialidocious are disney classics ,I dont even need to discuss them .I'll talk about my favorite later ,but I'd the most beautiful song is Feed the Birds ,my favorite deep cut is A Man Has Dreams , and the most fun song is I love to laugh, and Jolly Holiday is just very pleasent
I only have nitpicks really :I mentioned the depctions of suffragettes feels confused , but also I think the kid protagonists Jane and Michael are just OK ,I do not like the song Dont Fall Asleep ,and Stepping Time goes on a little too long ....Also Berts cockney accent is very bad .....But I kind of love it
Alright QUESTION TIME ! QUESTION TIME ! @the-blue-fairie has asked me three questions
1-What is your favorite aspect of Julie Andrews' performance?
Anytime she denies the magical stuff she does is friggin funny to me
2-What are your thoughts on Mr. Banks' character arc and what do you think are the strongest elements of Tomlinson's performance?
I think it is a great arc and my favorite part is just how vulnerable he is before the big change.The streach of film starting with A Man Has Dreams and ending at his leaving Mr Dawes office is my favorite part of the film in general ,but specifically his facial expressions as he listens to Bert and realizes his shortcomings as a dad
3-This may be lamely simple but - favorite song and why? :D
Oh god it WAS NOT SIMPLE.I had 15 songs to choose from and picking which one was hard .....Then I remembered the one I loved the most as a child,the one I would sing in moments of joy,cause it is so joyus :Lets Go Fly a Kite
youtube
OVerall....This is one of the greats.....Please watch it if you havent
@ariel-seagull-wings @amalthea9 @angelixgutz @princesssarisa @goodanswerfoxmonster @marquisedemasque @the-blue-fairie@filmcityworld1 @themousefromfantasyland
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I've never seen it and don't know a lot about this but do you think A Star is Born would've been good with or for Elvis if he'd done it
it would be a different movie, and very likely a better one, because i've personally never understood the casting of kris kristofferson lol. my knowledge on this is not expansive, i only know what i've seen barbra say, which is that she thought he was perfect for it, and for the version of the story they wanted to tell. back when she recorded her album partners, which is a collection of duets, she included love me tender, i remember her recalling talking to him about it, and that he'd expressed a real sensitivity to her, and mentioned something about needing to find peace and quiet before going onstage, which she understood. (barbra pretty famously has suffered from crushing stage fright.)
"The two superstars met (at least) twice. The first time was when Streisand was performing at the International Hotel in Las Vegas. Elvis came to her show and afterward went backstage, surprising the singer in her dressing room.
A nervous Streisand was painting her fingernails so she didn’t have to look Presley in the face. In a commentary track for the DVD release of A Star Is Born, Streisand mentioned that Presley, incredibly, took the bottle of nail polish, got down on his knees, and started painting her nails." (x)
there's an article from this year addressing this, but it's from a tabloid, so we'll take that into account:
"On March 28, 1974, Barbra Streisand visited him backstage at his residency at Las Vegas' Caesars Palace. ...[she and Jon Peters] had the movie rights to A Star Is Born and Elvis was the first choice to play opposite her as the tragically self-destructive rock star John Norman Howard. It was the juicy role of a lifetime, and Streisand said in 2014, "I thought he was perfect to play that part."
An offer was made and contracts were drawn up. The King's girlfriend at the time, Linda Thompson, said: "Elvis wanted to do it. Elvis was very excited about the prospect of working with [Barbra]. Thompson added: "Elvis said, 'This is going to be a great opportunity. We’re going to do A Star Is Born. I’m really excited about it. This is finally going to be a role that I can sink my teeth into. I’ve never gotten the kind of role that would show me as an actor.' That was a big frustration for him. His favourite movie he ever did as far as acting was King Creole, because he thought that he had the best script and the best chance of showing his acting ability."
After two meetings, Streisand and Peters made a formal offer and Linda recalled Elvis “was thrilled at the prospect of finally having the opportunity to really immerse himself in a role and reveal new dimensions of his acting talent.” The offer included $500,000 upfront plus 10 percent of the net profits. Elvis could produce and take the full revenue from the concerts that would be filmed. Streisand's production company and Warner Bros would retain rights to the music and soundtrack album. Elvis had been paid far more in his Hollywood heyday, but Memphis Mafia member Jerry Schilling said: “There was no way the film's budget could stand two superstar salaries and Elvis didn't care about the money. He was smart enough to know that this kind of supporting role could be his way back into the movies.”
As always, all business had to go through The King's powerful manager Colonel Parker. He demanded $1million upfront, 50 percent of the gross profits, $1,000 a week in expenses, approval on all of Presley's songs and a cut of the soundtrack revenues. Parker added one more thing that was even more damaging to the deal. His original proposed contract is kept in the archives at Graceland and states Elvis would be entitled to first position credit and 100 percent of the listing above the title on all promotional materials and the styling of the finished film. It was unthinkable. [...] Parker's constant unwillingness to let Elvis explore more challenging music and movie avenues meant he would never accept his client playing the role of a heavy-drinking, drug-using wreck. Most believe Parker intentionally sabotaged the negotiations, demanding impossible terms. Thompson, however, believes differently: "I think The Colonel couldn’t make the deal...Elvis did not negotiate. So the Colonel came to him and said, ‘Son you can’t do this movie because you can’t be depicted as a loser…You are a winner and you can’t be depicted as a loser."
The talks were "dead" within weeks and Thompson said Elvis was "devastated." Kris Kristofferson went on to take the role The King had so desperately wanted.
Even worse, he would have seen the 1976 A Star Is Born go on to be a massive hit, taking $80million in the US alone where it was the second-biggest film of the year. It was also hugely profitable, being made for a tiny $6million. It won Golden Globes for the two leading actors and for the theme song, Evergreen. The soundtrack also topped the US charts for six weeks and eventually sold eight million copies.
As Elvis wrestled with health and emotional demons in his final years, it is fascinating to wonder what might have happened if he had made A Star is Born."
ASIB is an interesting little creature in itself - its male lead needs to be charismatic and difficult and tragic, but not outshine the female lead, and due to the elements of the story, it tries to hit a balance with that relationship being both nurturing and destructive that's hard to find. each of the three musical versions has this iconic, signature moment from its leading lady - it's judy singing the man that got away, barbra with evergreen, lady gaga with shallow. basically the framework is meant to showcase her triumph, her resolve, and her grief, as he's struggling and fading. it's a love story on its face, yet ultimately about the perils of fame, so it can't really let him be a romantic hero, he's jealous and troubled and the relationship never quite finds solid ground. judy, barbra, and lady gaga are all luminous in their roles in disparate ways (judy deserved an oscar), but i've always felt the men supporting them are a little hit-and-miss. judy's version of the film was unfortunately butchered in post by the studio, without director george cukor's permission, barbra's version suffers from what i personally feel is a lack of chemistry. gaga/bradley's version is probably thus the best as far as its telling of the story and the very natural connection they have (i unironically love the soundtrack, and think he directed the film well, and while not every decision he made acting-wise nor the kind of odd judgment on her "selling out" to pop music sits right with me, his jack is more of a character onscreen with her ally than the other two incarnations). (also all three of these have biting moments that hinge on the idea of the women not being beautiful enough to be successful and it's angering and makes my heart hurt.)
this is more information than you wanted, but i say all of this because i think elvis, and what he'd specifically experienced and been through, would've carried a unique perspective to it and potentially could've brought out a much different humanity in that character. he'd known the meteoric rise and some of the fall, and while his career onstage was doing well at the time, he'd seen the drop of his film career. i think the fact that he very much wanted to do it and to tackle something a little more challenging speaks to the outlet he was always looking for in his creativity and intellect. he certainly wanted to prove himself as an actor and never felt he got that chance. maybe it wouldn't have worked, but i imagine it vibrantly could have, and would at the very least be a more interesting and textured film. plus we were robbed of the potential musical collaborations there and tbh she needed a powerhouse opposite her. (i'm sorry to kristofferson, but that man was not it for me, no matter how hard they tried to sell it and an idea of sex appeal there. this was also an odd time in barbra's career, even though she was at a fairly high point following the way we were, if asib had been better, it would've had an effect for her too. anyway the conclusion of that movie where she leans into rock and roll with watch closely now is electric, and that might've been even more so had she been responding to a literal icon of the genre.) the whole energy of the film and even its marketing would be different. maybe he could've elevated the character and story. maybe it would've made a difference for him personally. it's one of those haunting what-ifs where we can just never know, but i'd like to see the universe where he'd done it.
#the way i'm incapable of short replies rip#anonymous#letterbox#elvis presley#barbra streisand#a star is born#i was a dreamer
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I would love to hear about your stranger things pjo au!!! Love both stories, all the better to mix them
well, buckle the FUCK up! /lh
❗ Before we begin, i'd like to give some warnings for abuse (csa, physical, emotional), self-harm/suicide, scars, neglect/abandonment, religion (mention of camps), minor character death, mention of kidnapping, eating disorders❗
this has taken TWO DAYS and it's long and not even finished but i'm tired of looking at it so
🎸 First character: michael wheeler. 🎸
love the kid to death. proud kinnie and apologist.
but
he's a fucking menace in this au. a mini percy, if you will.
15, genderfluid, he/they/she, boy kisser.
from hawkins indiana, bullied very badly as a kid for being neurodivergent, abusive father that does not know what a boundary is especially when he's drunk.
(that's projection right there - at its finest)
hypersexual for obvious reasons.
convinces a not-aware-of-the-abuse nancy to run away at 12 and 15. leave without any parting words to anyone.
make it to camp half blood where they are quickly claimed and mike is the first to meet percy, who has become a social worker/therapist alongside an oc of mine, chase williams.
he's given the following diagnoses: adhd, dyslexia, autism, cptsd, bpd with severe dissociation, mdd, and gad with panic attacks .
has been on 2 quests in his 3 years at camp. both, he does not talk about.
will becomes his fp basically on sight (i know- i was there. mike told me himself)
so fucking stupid its a wonder they put him against the ares cabin bc his smart mouth is brutal.
visible self-harm scars and will get so pissed if you ask about any of his scars. will tell you to mind your business.
⭐ AND THAT BRINGS US TO WILL ⭐
15, trans guy, he/him, queer.
aphrodite bitch that loves looking like he lives in a conservative 80s small town horror movie but like,,, the amount of tan and neutral works somehow? with some golden yellow and rusty oranges that make his green eyes shimmer and pop.
big artist and has hecate's blessing and OH MY GOD will with powers???? illusions???? fuckin CHARMSPEAK????? he's in his magician era lmao /lh /j
from cali. bisexual icon joyce brought her boys to camp early so they're prepared. i say she's the sally of stranger things
has the included adhd and dyslexia but with added cptsd, schizophrenia, and autism. that should be interesting.
has been on 6 quests since age 10, some successful, some not.
i want will to have eyeliner. i want to see him with it so bad. and painted nails. usually pink, yellow, or black.
🎵 NOW. EDDIE FUCKING MUNSON 🎵
21, nonbinary man, he/she, queer as hell
willeddie siblings. trans aphrodite kids against the world.
has apollo's blessing. very much a partner in crime to percy, they bond over music taste.
adhd, dyscaulia, bipolar 1, and cptsd
such a chill fucking dude but will ramble for years and years and years if you don't stop him.
very powerful charmspeak and very good at seeing the ties between people. has a celestial bronze dagger essentially named "freak"
sucker for apollo cabin counselor steve harrington
☀️ mr. steven harrington~ ☀️
19, trans man, he/him, bisexual
apollo kid, lover of pop, singer-songwriter.
very laidback, from TN surprisingly. has religious trauma, unsurprisingly, from being in a baptist christian family and being sent to summer camps until he was abandoned at age 16 by his mom and step dad.
adhd, dyslexia, hpd, cptsd, and unspecified dissociative disorder. hypersexual from a few instances of csa as a young child by someone at one of the summer camps he was sent to.
definitely has a knack for swinging blunt objects, of which he has a celestial bronze bat he carries everywhere along with a backup dagger.
thinks kids are fun to work with and teaches archery alongside chiron, which is unexpected but welcomed.
an okay healer. average. knows first aid, cpr, the basics
💜 the badass, nancy wheeler 💜
18, cis female, she/her, lesbian
athena kid through and fucking through. so smart but, like mike, oblivous and super dumb.
spends a lot of time out of the house as a kid until she and mike run away.
works for the camp newspaper, freelance journalist as she attempts college classes.
not the one you want against you in capture the flag.
chooses the gun bc she briefly has "i'm not like other girls" syndrome but finds it actually fits her.
her and annabeth talk all the time. to the point percy complains to mike about it.
robin buckley- love at first sight
📼 ROBIN, MY MAIN GIRL 📼
18, nonbinary woman, she/they/neos, woman kisser
also a big music person but POETRY. she absolutely loves poetry and symbolism and all that shit.
romance and sci-fi nerd.
dresses like a gay drama professor or gives off young richie tozier vibes, no in-between.
can name each bone in your body as she breaks it. loves her independent gf nancy.
adhd, dyslexia, autism, ptsd, and severe auditory processing issues.
indie music seems like her style but scene queen owns her soul and she'd sell it for ashnikko
thought about being a film major
steve's platonic better half as they should be
comes from an emotionally abusive household
📷 jonny boy 📷
19, trans man, he/him, aceflux demigayromantic
dates a clear-sighted mortal (affectionate)
aphrodite's son that may not be "conventionally attractive", but he has a knack for matchmaking and fashion, which he then neglects because he opts for a camp shirt and jeans with tennis shoes.
mild adhd, dyslexia, AUTISM, cptsd, avpd, gad, generalized depression
so many sensory issues and needs, but tries to be independent, which can lead to bouts of anger, frustration, and, sometimes, crying.
was severely bullied in school and he was physically and emotionally abused by his step dad, who his mom was not married to for very long
works with nancy and takes photographs for the paper sometimes.
🌻 el my beloved 🌻
15, nonbinary, they/them, pan ace, poly
as a kid of demeter, el has always been a plant lover. discovered their powers early
bedroom pop lover and blessed by aphrodite.
would rather rely on their powers than a weapon but does have a small dagger on them at all times.
elmike duo my sweets,,,
adhd, dyslexia, autism, cptsd, system (no amnesia, 2 other alters; jane and 11, who is different from el)
by early i mean she was growing plants at a rapid rate by the time she was 5. the wrong person saw it and she was kidnapped and abused severely until she was ten, when she was rescued by local police chief jim hopper, who later adopted her bc her mortal parent had been in an accident not too long after she was taken and did not make it.
🌸 baby girl chrissy 🌸
19, demigirl, she/they, aroace
daughter of demeter, very sweet
very much a basic pastel stereotype but we love her anyway, she's amazing.
has the following: adhd, dyslexia, bullimia, cptsd, gad with panic attacks
her dad's very much a pushover and her stepmom's heavily emotionally and verbally abusive and makes comments about her weight all the time
she only spends a few weeks of the year at home and it's usually only for her dad.
#🌻 to the sky of doubt au 🌻#stranger things#mike wheeler#will byers#byler#eddie munson#stranger things au#pjo au#lgbt#steve harrington#nancy wheeler#robin buckley#el hopper#chrissy cunningham#🔗#answered asks
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Rules: Tag 10 people you want to get to know better
Tagged by @marghen (aaa thanks for the tag!! your dracula art is Chef’s Kiss)
Favorite time of the year?: late spring/early summer......most beloved time of year
Comfort food: a takeaway curry OR steak and ale pie with golden flaky pastry. This is painfully, excruciatingly english of me
Do you collect something?: .....i don’t think i do? The other day i went through my drawers and realised i’ve got a horrific number of teal-adjacent nail polish shades, which was a sure cause for concern
Favorite drink: i’m addicted to those instant mocha sachets which is, uh, sure proof of mental illness. I’m also fond of grandma-genre drinks, so i’m always up for a ruby port or a gin and tonic, tragically
Favorite song/artist: florence welch has been a huge influence since my tweens, and other mentionable favs include kate bush, woodkid, the stone roses, and a HUGE array of 1970s dad music. wet leg’s debut album has been providing a delectable hazy summer soundtrack so far
Current favorite songs: this corrosion and dominion by sisters of mercy have been rotating in my head for a while, and fuelling my.....tragic half formed early-90s dracula au, complete with campy special effects and eurobeat. mina and jon are the goth4goth pda couple. van helsing drives a battered 1980s minivan. jack records his diaries on a walkman, and, insufferably, brings it everywhere. inexplicable count chocola product placement. sfx budget can be no higher than £50. like, if 1992 dracula was actually in 1992. and wasn’t.........[gestures vaguely at all of it]. it’s awful and it’s mine
Favorite fics: there are other countless fics from other interests that all deserve a mention, but in terms of dracula, there’s currently 2 by stillettodandelion on ao3 that paint such bittersweet and tender vignettes of moments not touched in dracula that i wish i could like. have them as a book or something. i also keep thinking about there is a pleasure in the pathless woods by calliopes_pen. god!!!
Tagging: i am Too Shy to tag people, but i invite any mutuals to do it <3
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Desmond is Three
On Saturday, May 14, 2022, my little dude turned three years old. I threw him his first in real life birthday party at PlayLab in Eagle Rock - Bluey themed - and it was wonderful. I felt like I was getting back to my roots. I handmade all the party favors, which were references to different episodes - Keepy Uppy, Sticky Gecko, Grannies. I also made the cake, the cupcakes, the balloon arch and the banner - mostly out of frustration that what I saw on Etsy was so expensive (rightfully so, these things take time and precision) and also just not trusting anyone else to get my "vision." Listen, it's been YEARS since I've thrown a proper birthday party thanks to COVID, I put ALL my energy into this. Maybe he'll even remember it! I think I recall spending my 3rd birthday on a plane coming from England? Anyway.
Erica Lauren was kind enough to capture all of my efforts (which inadvertently, I swear, included both me and Des dressed in the party palette as well). Peek:
Some for the record stuff: He is 3 feet tall, 28 lbs and his one true love is BALLOONS. He also likes bouncy balls, beach balls, ping pong balls - but nothing else globular measures up to his love of balloons. His favorite food is applesauce and he's started inserting the word "actually" into his sentences. We sing songs before bed (Christina Perri, Bob Marley, The Zombies) but I can't leave it on after I leave the room or else he will yell "MAMA WHAT'S THIS ONE?" when it gets to Tom Petty and Panic! at the Disco (pretty odd, obvs). Right now one of his faves is the Weezer/Hayley Williams cover of "Rainbow Connection." Sometimes he asks, "What's this one?" when NO MUSIC is playing in what I gather is a nudge to get me to PLAY music when it is SUPPOSED to be QUIET time. He's a huge fan of the Hokey Pokey, and I didn't even teach him that one.
He likes to read The Wonky Donky and Circle. He says Juliette is his best friend but he likes to play kitchen with Arthur and make up silly words (didia, butbut, oompin) and giggle with Roman. He thinks I get EVERYTHING at Target. He likes to do "science" in the bath with bath bombs but washing his hair lately has been an ORDEAL. He's learning what he can and can't control, often demands we do things "first" or that he does things "ONLY." as in "I want to look out the window ONLY" (not Oli) or "I want to stand against the wall ONLY" (no one else). He will eat lemons without making a face. His favorite color is green. He speaks quietly around strangers but when in public has no problem asking "WHAT IS THAT GUY DOING?" very loudly (note: guy for him is a gender neutral term). He pretends to be a baby by saying "Goo goo gaga" but I remind him that he didn't say that at as a baby - he said "quack" and "puh" and "kiii."
He doesn't sleep as much as he used to. He can dress himself mostly but still has trouble with shirts. He's pretty good at soccer and is very teachable when it comes to physical movements. He knows several yoga poses. One time I woke him up from a nap by reading Mary Oliver poetry out loud and he especially liked the line, "Let me be a flower." "Yeah! Let me be a flower!" he said. He likes to draw suns and balloons and fireflies. He is always asking me to draw Bluey characters and I always have to look it up first. He likes going to the farm, but prefers picking fruits and vegetables to petting or feeding the animals. Sometimes if you ask him for a snuggle he will decline, but offer a "snug" as a consolation prize. Asking him how many more minutes he wants to play no longer works because he used to answer between 5 and 10 minutes but now he only asks for 60. He hates it when I vacuum but when he wants a homemade smoothie he asks for it "loud."
He's overall a pretty chill dude. An observer. He remembers everything. He still talks about a yellow bucket (RIP) that he got from the dentist when he was 1.5 years old. Sometimes he wants to paint his nails so we do. HOGGIE is still his ride or die - that plushie has been to museums, parks, the doctors office. He rubs hoggie's eyes at night, like they're worry stones. He recites the story of The Hungry Caterpillar to Hoggie on the way to school. I love hearing him talk and tell stories. I'm excited to take him on adventures, I love watching him make friends, and it's such a dang gift to see and hear him express himself and assert himself in new ways. I love rediscovering life with him.
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Get to Know Me Ask Game
Tagged by @wen-kexing-apologist and @waitmyturtles, two of my fave moots!!
RULES: bold the ones that are true & tag 10 people to do it.
APPEARANCE
blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo // I have dyed or highlighted my hair (both, I've had horrible hazelnut highlights, a dark blue streak, and red hair; I want to dye my hair red again at some point) // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces (four years! then I didn't wear my retainers often enough and fucked my teeth up again RIP) // I sunburn easily (not SUPER easily but I do have to be mindful, I also burn and tan in patches which is HIGHLY IRRITATING) // I have freckles (not many, mostly on my shoulders) // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball hats backwards
HOBBIES & TALENTS
I play a sport (not currently, but I used to play soccer, and did a handful of other stuff like track and volleyball) // I can play an instrument (I used to be pretty decent at violin, it's been YEARS but I feel like I would be okay if given time to relearn and practice) // I am artistic (-ally-minded? I'm not great at drawing or anything like that but I'm very imaginative and creative) // I know more than one language (I don't consider myself fluent in more than one anymore but yes: English and ASL) // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe (yes, but I do not. my OCD freaks out if I don't follow recipes, it has actively screwed up dishes when I give in to compulsions versus my instinct, sob) // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing (yes, but it also stresses me out) // I can do origami // I prefer movies to TV shows // I can execute a perfect somersault (not anymore, my back would break in half) // I enjoy singing (not well) // I could survive in the wild on my own (I don't think I'm totally incapable but realistically-speaking I'd die pretty quickly) // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with friends (yes, I LOVE my friends, but unfortunately I am also an introvert with sensory/physical disabilities, social anxiety and a buttload of social trauma so I've had to learn to limit social interactions including social media, texting, etc. otherwise I get super overwhelmed and descend into panic attacks. it's fun! but I do really enjoy spending time with my buddies when I can, they're some of my favorite people in the world!!) // I travel during work or school breaks // I can do a handstand (against a wall yeah lol)
RELATIONSHIPS
I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year (my entire life, oh woe) // I have a crush // I have a best friend who I’ve known for ten years (my best friend and I will have known each other for ten years next year, but my oldest and one of my closest friends and I have known each other since preschool, around 24 years) // my parents are together (they're technically still married but they're not together in any other sense, THANK GOD. you all have no idea how much I've hoped this would happen) // I have dated my best friend (lmfao no but it's a running joke that everyone thinks or has thought my best friend and I are dating, since we very first met in college the rumors have been unreal) // I am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // I have a long distance relationship (with friends!) // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends (it's kinda my thing) // I have made an online friend (this is complicated. I've met many people online who I'm friendly with and who consider me their friend but... I have C-PTSD and trust issues lol. It's hard for me to feel close to people.) // I met up with someone I have met online (not yet!!!)
AESTHETICS
I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sun rise (intentionally and unintentionally) // I enjoy rainy days (sort of? I enjoy them more when I'm out and walking around in them but they mostly make me really lethargic and sometimes make my joint/chronic pain flare up. today is a rainy day and lethargy is hanging around!) // I have slept under the stars (I guess? probably?) // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me (if crickets, absolutely not. birds chirping and singing is one of my favorite sounds ever though. it's the thing I miss most about not living in a city, though sometimes they do make an appearance) // I enjoy the smell of the beach (depends on the beach, but yes) // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep // I enjoy thunderstorms (mostly, yes, but I'm one of those people who gets a pressure headache whenever one is in the distance. I'm a human barometer) // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire // I pay close attention to colors (not as much as others do but I do enjoy some good color) // I find mystery in the ocean // I enjoy hiking on nature paths (yes, but less and less over the years as walking has become harder) // autumn is my favorite season
MISCELLANEOUS
I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle (and anywhere else, lol hello sleep disorder) // I am the mom friend (absolutely, but I'm slowly letting this go a bit. it's become a bit of an overcompensation for perceived flaws. but it'll always be a part of my personality) // I live by a certain quote (no, but there is a kind of mantra I've come up with to help me during low periods: "I am worth trying for.") // I like the smell of sharpies (yeah but I'm not going around sniffing them) // I am involved in extracurricular activities (does volunteering count?) // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick shift // I believe in true love (complicated. I believe in love - that's basically my entire belief system - but I don't believe in fate. I don't believe in the concept of there being one person out there who will heal all my ills and be a perfect partner and sweep me off my feet. but... I am a romantic at heart and there's a small part of me that hopes that if I ever have a romantic relationship it'll be one and done. regardless of how irrational I know that is. I've literally been a domestic violence preventionist/relationship/sex educator, trust me, I know!) // I make up scenarios to fall asleep (it's basically the only way I can sleep) // I sing in the shower (not really but I do make weird noises and talk to myself!) // I wish I lived in a video game (WHO would want this?? sounds like a Kafkaesque nightmare) // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 dogs
I don't have anyone to tag since pretty much everyone I thought of has already been tagged. If you want to do this go for it!!!
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What are the Most Common Repairs I Will Need to Make to Sell My House New Jersey?
I’m looking to sell my house New Jersey. What repairs will I need to make? This is a question commonly asked by home sellers.
There are certain things buyers will look for when considering your home. For example, they will want to know if the roof is in good shape. They will also be looking at certain elements of your home structure.
If any of these are not up to their standards, they may walk away from the deal. Knowing what buyers are looking for and getting these taken care of beforehand will increase your chances of getting your home sold quickly. This article will look at these common repairs to ensure your home doesn’t stay on the market too long.
Here are some common repairs home sellers need to make:
Kitchen Appliances
If you are selling your home with appliances, such as a refrigerator, microwave, and stove included, make sure they are in proper working order. Fix leaks and replace parts if necessary.
Cabinets
The cabinets in your kitchen and bathroom should be in good condition. They should be free of water damage and rot. Make sure they open and close smoothly by fixing loose hinges and replacing door knobs and handles.
Water Fixtures
Your water fixtures should not leak. They should not be clogged. Hot and cold knobs should be marked appropriately. All exhaust fans and overflow drains should be in proper working order.
Walls and Ceilings
Your walls and ceilings should not show signs of damage. Repair nail holes, major dings, and dents before showing your home. Painting is one of the cheapest and easiest ways to give a room a fresh, new appearance.
Flooring
Get your flooring in good condition by replacing chipped or cracked floor tiles and refinishing damaged hardwood. Have your carpet steam-cleaned or replaced if necessary.
HVAC
Your heating, ventilation, and air conditioning system (HVAC) should be in good working order. It should be clean and free of leaks. Your thermostat should be fully operational.
Water Heater
Your water heater should be in good working order and should not leak. All pipes should be insulated.
Electrical Panels and Circuit Breakers
Your electrical system must be updated to meet current codes. If you have an older system that uses fuse boxes, consider having it replaced as parts for these systems are hard to find. It’s also possible that an older system may be improperly rigged for modern usage.
Roof
Roofs are a major issue in homes as they often have issues like leaks, cracks, bubbles, blisters, and missing tiles. Replace problem spots right away. Fix any damage to the underlayment which is the area underneath the roof shingles or tiles. Make sure your eaves are in good shape and that your drainage system is working properly.
Foundation
It’s essential that your foundation, stem wall, and retaining wall are structurally sound. Have a contractor in to determine if your foundation is stable. An unstable foundation is a major construction issue, but it is fixable.
Exterior
The exterior of your home must be in good shape. Your decks should be structurally sound and should not show signs of termite and water damage. Your landscaping should be well tended to. The fences around your home should not be rotted or water damaged.
Garage Doors
Your garage door should meet all local codes and safety criteria. You may need to replace certain parts before you begin showing your home. It may also be necessary to paint the door or fix dings and dents.
Smoke and Carbon Monoxide Detectors
Your smoke and carbon monoxide detectors should be in good working order and less than 10 years old. Replace the batteries if necessary.
Opt for Cash Buyers in New Jersey
It’s likely you will have to make several repairs before you sell your home. And these repairs aren’t exactly cheap! They can add up considerably eating into the profits you make off your home sale.
So how can you avoid making these repairs? One option is to work with cash buyers in New Jersey. A cash buyer will purchase your home in as-is condition so you don’t have to address any damage.
Additionally, a cash buyer will allow you to forego hosting open houses and the process of finding a buyer. They will make the process smooth and simple. The entire closing can take as little as 10 days to 2 weeks.
Selling your home is a lot of work. A cash buyer will simplify the process allowing you to forego home repairs entirely. How will you be handling your home sale?
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The 20-Second Trick For What to Know Before Getting Acrylic Nails
Check For Updates What to Recognize Before Obtaining Acrylic Nails Take into consideration this your pre-appointment overview. This is the most convenient way to acquire polymer nails before they get there on your desk for first-hand function. We'll be incorporating even more pictures eventually on with all the particulars and tricks you require to get began. Our Nails Tutorials is additionally filled along with hyperlinks to a lot of various other write-ups and tutorials that produce usage of this method, along along with tutorials on other nail colours.
Through Erin Lukas Erin Lukas Instagram Twitter Erin is a Brooklyn-based beauty publisher and has been with InStyle since 2016. InStyle is a place total of wonderful companies and outstanding talent. InStyle works along with leading makeup labels, influencers, and brand names on labels like Tarte, Sephora, and more. Erin presently works as a makeup producer as effectively as a make-up musician for brands like Guerlain, JCPenney, and Too Faced.
She covers all aspects of beauty for the site. You have selected to discuss it along with your good friends, household, coworkers, and peers. The blog is developed around our objective to ensure beauty and produce the physical body attractive. Whether it be taking your nails a part because the skin layer was too big for them, or taking your face a piece because you put on a makeup and/or structure you couldn't pay for. The target is to help you look gorgeous and comply with or go over your potential!
InStyle's editorial tips Updated on July 10, 2022 @ 09:45AM Pin Share Tweet E-mail In This Article Check out All In This Write-up What Are Acrylic Nails? What are Acrylic Nails and what ought to a consumer utilize them for? What are Acrylic nails, and how ought to I utilize them? What need to I care regarding when picking up polymer nails? (Acrylic Nails and Acrylic Paint) Acrylic nails are utilized primarily for helping make paste paints, coat and newspaper towels.
Function Gel Polish Use Maintenance Removal Proper Care Cost As someone who can easilyn't develop out their nails without breaking at least two of them along the means, I receive envious whenever I discover someone's long, excellent, almond or square-shaped nails. This has actually to be a indication of tension. What can easily a brand-new nail treatment specialist carry out about this?! I can easily constantly decide on up the gloss that happens along with me for around $10. But what concerning someone else? You can easily acquire it currently for just about nothing!
While some individuals are honored along with naturally sturdy nails, the ones I long for are often accepted to the miracle of polymer. I've adored my brand new compilation for years currently, and I think polymer suggests an completely different sense of craft to people who have not ever attempted polymer previously. It's a incredibly special craft type, and it's hard to match along with the quality that polymer offers. It's one of those traits I've located it's complicated to discover a nail box that doesn't look great.
This synthetic nail procedure is optimal for anyone who wishes long nails, but can't or preserve their ideal nail span or shape on their own. One more procedure used for long nails is a tiny measurements manicure. This strategy uses nail adhesive, which is strong good enough to apply equally, while still preserving really good consistency so that there would be no knots. This technique works well for people with lengthy nails, so it is a great tool for any sort of novice or qualified nail care carrier.
Nevertheless, they're not exactly effortless: Acrylic nails happen with a cost tag — and they can wreck your organic nails if they're done inaccurately. The brand-new Acrylic Nail Care Gel is a excellent way for your nail to relax for long durations of time. It includes two layers per order to always keep your nails hydrated. The gel itself also consists of a few simple ingredients that may aid always keep your nail gloss clean after continuous make use of.
All of this thought about, it's vital to have all the info before you go to the beauty shop, and InStyle has you dealt with. You will definitely have a totally custom created look at all the beauty shop settings for you. What You Purchase Coming from InStyle An InStyle Beauty Center gives all facets of cosmetic treatment, from prescribed, to frequent, to high end. Pick coming from a large assortment of hair treatment options as well as a vast range of products and treatments.
Whether you're weary of having nails that are also quick for lavish nail craft or you yearn for your nails to look as impressive as Kylie Jenner's claws perform on Instagram, see what a specialist manicurist has to state concerning the method of getting acrylic nails. If your nails are also brief for elegant nails and you possess short nails that are merely like your fingers, perhaps you require to begin producing brand-new nails. The even more possibilities and options you have to select, the additional options are going to come your means.
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The Buzz on How to Deal with Toenail Fungus the Natural Way
Do your nails split, peel, and transform yellowish? Can easily they tolerate the sun's impact? This strategy may additionally help you to take your work very truly. When someone comes to a wedding event, it's important to always possess everything in order. It's much easier to simply be positive and confident to recognize. I've possessed the satisfaction of observing a lot of wedding celebration gowns which are edged up and piled on best of our workdesks as we operate.
If thus, you might be one of an estimated 40 million Americans who live with nail fungus, likewise recognized as onychomycosis. It's one of the very most common contaminations having an effect on both palms (although it can likewise occur from the within of an eye). And it is disperse like a fungi. Even though spores can't be seen directly in your physical body, it's still dangerous for humans.
The good information is, you don’t possess to live like this. The poor updates is, you possess no organization chatting like that! Well, Check it Out 've simply been through an challenge which has delivered you back down. You must have known much better. Instead, you've been working along with some of the very most challenging, embarrassing times you've ever experienced. Even if you are right now able to live in a property you must still possess a hard time dealing with.
A amount of remedies may assist you walk with confidence. Some of those remedies include lowering your cholesterol and decreasing your risk of heart assaults. When you believe your cholesterol has acquired too high, talk to your physician about any kind of medications your medical professional may recommend. How do I lose body weight in a well-timed manner? For a lot of years, wellness care providers have been asking me not to talk to my patients over cholesterol levels, center disease or heart condition avoidance.
Below are 10 that you can purchase at your neighborhood drug store. 1. Pure Heroin 3 mL The first one has the capacity to turn around the impacts of an opioid medication before it goes the 2nd, which carries out not: 1. Xanax (from Xanax company) 1 oz It may be risky after one management, which is why you ought to avoid those which are extra most likely to receive worse than it.
You may also have some of them in your medication cabinet. If you possess to choose them out for your body through the end of the full week, locate a medical professional who currently carries out that. They're just good for you to take because you need to have them to maintain something secure out there certainly. When it happens to the excellent things, most people don't. Merely the well-balanced things. This isn't consistently the instance. When it comes to drinking in moderation.
Although these may not be as efficient as medicines your physician can prescribe, they could be worth a shot: Undecylenic Acid This fungus fighter is the main active ingredient in lots of over-the-counter (OTC) products. It is most likely a more effective resource of the hormone insulin or blood sugar, but it's additionally a sturdy indication of your concern. For one point, its immune system status and the supply of reduced dosages of a particular type of toxin can diminish its capacity to fight off hazardous or resistant micro-organisms.
You may purchase it at your regional drug store as a fluid or a gloss you paint onto your nails. When it comes to nails helped make for kids, a brand-new procedure for nail gloss creates its ideal on a kid or grownup. It's a really fundamental chemical and, unlike many treatments, it doesn't interfere along with the colour of pearly whites and nails. Nonetheless, it might be beneficial for youthful specialists who are looking to create a little bit of additional sparkle in the process.
It eases the fresh, inflamed skin that can come along with a fungus. It consists of a range of antifungals such as antiperspirants and sebums, which can activate a rash and might induce a response that the skin layer mayn't deal with. So if you're going to live with dermatitis and that's not what you're thinking, don't go out and purchase affordable anti-bacterial products if you're not going to have it in your food before you acquire it.
Tolnaftate This is a staple in OTC products for professional athlete’s foot, ringworm, and competitor impulse. It has been marketed as an anti-inflammatory to cure painful feets. It has been presented to be able to reduce swelling, sore joints, and various other bodily issues along with no incorporated nutritional worth. Glucoin This is a generally used skin layer conditioner known for its anti-inflammatory actives. It may substantially decrease swelling, especially in the skin layer.
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Does studying nails have a future? Opportunity & challenge?
Nowadays, when life is getting higher and higher, people also tend to beautify themselves more. Many beauty centers have emerged to meet this demand, including the nail industry statistics for 2021 and 2022 are growing up. However, young people wonder, "does nail education have a future? Can you turn your passion for nail art into a job for a living?". Will studio 165 nail artists help you answer this question!?
What is an overview of nail industry trends in the USA?
The work of painting and drawing nail art designs, which many women love, is now becoming the path for many people to choose a nail technician course. Many salons and beauty care centers also provide pedicure and nail care services such as nail trimming, nail polish, nail painting, and nail extensions aftercare.
Besides, new trends such as attaching flowers and stones to nails are also gradually becoming a trend for women to pursue. Seeing the potential of the nail industry, many young people have studied it to start a business, earn extra income, and turn it into a stable job at home and dream of wanting to open a nail salon and spa for me.
Many nail salons you can see are crowded, and sometimes you even have to wait or make an appointment booking app to have beautiful nails. It is one job that easily makes money quickly, thanks to a stable income, and can develop in the career.
As a money-making profession today, most young girls choose to learn nails to improve their lives and satisfy their passions. Therefore, many professional nail training institutions also appear.
Some people choose the nail industry to study because of going abroad; this job can make a lot of money in foreign countries, help them settle down, and help their families.
What is the potential of the manicure industry today?
Women's beauty needs are greatly enhanced. Therefore, they also require a lot of workers, not only beautiful but also good service or not. If you go out on the street, you can see countless hair salons combined with nails because every girl wants to be beautiful from head to toe. Therefore, they do not spare money to beautify the nail root to become more attractive and sparkling.
Many nail salons you can see are crowded, and you sometimes even have to wait or make an appointment to have beautiful nails. It is one job that easily makes money quickly, thanks to a stable income, and can develop in the career.
As a money-making profession today, most young girls choose to learn nails to improve their lives and satisfy their passions. Therefore, many professional nail training institutions also appear.
Some people choose the nail industry to study because of going abroad; this job can make a lot of money in foreign countries, help them settle down, and help their families.
Many girls do fingernail learning have a future?
The current situation of nail salon human resources
Currently, according to experts, go 2023. The US needs 15,000 to 20,000 skilled professionals, proving the current shortage of human resources. Meanwhile, according to foreign statistics, up to 80% of experienced professionals are Vietnamese, especially in the United States in California, Texas, Washington, Florida, and New York. With such numbers, it motivates young people to study this major.
Average current income of nail technician
Of course, to turn this job into a main occupation to earn a living, the salary is a relatively significant issue for many people. According to statistics in the US and UK, the average income of a skilled nail technician will range from $3000 to $5000/month. Besides, they also receive extra tips from customers.
For Vietnam, a new employee's salary will be 8-10 million VND/month, and skilled employees will be able to earn 20 million/month. If you invest in studying for 1 to 2 years, your income will be significant. Besides working as an employee at beauty stores and centers, you can also open your salon.
How can I learn to do my nails and get good results?
There are many ways you can get into this nail care industry. You can learn and get yourself or a loved one to practice. However, the best way to stay on track and aim for a stable job is to invest in a training facility that will help you get better results. Therefore, you need to find a training unit with the most scale and reputation to help you complete well in theory and practice.
All the original theories will help you get the most overview of this industry. Based on that, you will find wholeheartedness when working directly on natural nails in school nail art with a modern artificial nail-making machine. You will also have access to various nail tools, uses dip powder manufacturers, and techniques to turn what you learn into the perfect works of your creativity.
Top 10 nail tech classes near me training center
With 10 years of experience teaching subjects in the beauty industry, community college nail tech will help you identify your strengths and overcome your weaknesses to create the best products. This secret is also to help you progress quickly in the nail industry.
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