Complaining by Bucky | Bucky Barnes

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 -> Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!Reader

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 -> Bucky and you like to spend time together even when you’re just cuddling and reading. Also when he gets grumpy because of the book.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 -> 1.114

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 -> (G) mention of smut but just a bit, fluff

𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 -> For the Fandom Bingo challenge, could someone request an oneshot, also with a character that you wrote for another oneshot? If so, could you write an oneshot using O2 with Bucky Barnes and the reader reading in their bed cuddled up, while updating the other on what just happened in their book? Thank you so much! Sincerely, Flame. @marvelflame2010

𝐀/𝐍 -> Thank you for the request and yes I’m taking also requests for Bingo squares. This is a cute idea and I hope you like what I made with it. Dividers made by @firefly-graphics.

𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 ->

Fandom-Bingo | O2 | Sharing a quiet moment | @fandombingo

Fandom-Free Bingo: Valentine Edition | Alternates One | Triggers | @fandom-free-bingo

Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist

It’s quiet, but not uncomfortable. The warmth of his body is warming yours, his one hand sliding up and down your thigh, and you smile softly. Bucky is focused on his book, but that would never stop him from being close to you, nor would it stop him from touching you softly. The two of you are used to having some quiet moments where you mostly read, often after an exhausting mission where you two just want to be next to each other. Sometimes you are just cuddled up, or one person reads for the other. But today he is sitting next to you, his soft fingers trailing up and down his thigh, and your head rests against his shoulder.

A soft mumble escapes Bucky’s lips, and then he groans, too focused on the book to realize it. Your smile grows; those moments when Bucky is focused and doesn't mean to groan but still does it are way too cute. If you tell someone that your big, super soldier mumbles and complains quietly about things happening in the book, they won’t believe you. His hand squeezes your thigh a bit more, and you know the part in his book turns him on or he is annoyed about whatever happens right now.

“Buck?”

“Mhm?” He doesn’t look up at you, his eyes still focused on the side of the book, while he furrows slightly.

“Don’t you like the book?” You ask, smirking.

He hums in response, finishing the side he is currently reading before he puts his bookmark - which a photo of the two of you - into the book and closes it. He then places it between his legs and turns his head to face you, greeted by his beautiful girlfriend grinning at him. Bucky inhales deeply, and you try your best not to burst laughing, knowing that he will complain about the things in the book.

“You won’t believe it! She just said she loved him in the last chapter, and now? Do you know? She just kissed his brother; that’s not even a bit cool. They are twins; the brother should be at least nice enough to tell her that she shouldn’t do it when she is with his brother!”

“Doesn’t they both look the same?”

“NOOOO! Her boyfriend has a small scar next to his ear!” Bucky complains, throwing his head back. “And she just kisses his brother. And he didn’t say anything at all.”

You chuckle softly; your hand finds its way to Bucky’s chest, and you slide it up and down, calming him down. He closes his eyes, enjoying the warmth of your hand and the feeling of your soft skin against his broad chest.

“How did they end the side you just read?” You ask softly.

“She pulls away and looks into his eyes,” he explains, looking at you with a sudden, confused expression. “MAYBE SHE FELT IT? OR HE TELLS HER NOW?”

You giggle, but agree with your boyfriend. Maybe Bucky should continue reading before he thinks badly about the characters in the book.

“But they still kissed!”

“Do you want her to look at him to find the scar every time they kiss or are around each other?”

“No, only when the twin is visiting them,” Bucky says, pouting softly.

You lean closer, kissing his pout away. When you pull away from his soft lips, he pouts once more, waiting for you to kiss him again. Such a big guy who is a little puppy when he is around you. You adore him; Bucky is a sweetheart, especially when you’re alone with him. Looking for your warmth, for your touch, and asking for a lot of kisses - even though he doesn’t ask with words, his eyes and his actions are loud enough to tell you what he is looking for. You press your lips against his once more. At this point, his hand slides to your neck and holds you in place until you both need to pull away to breathe heavily. His blue eyes are shining, and he smiles widely before he takes his book and opens it, ready to continue reading to find out if the girl is cheating on her boyfriend. You rest your head back on his shoulder and read more of your own book.

For a while, it’s quiet until Bucky groans again, throwing the book away and crossing his arms in front of his chest. He doesn’t say anything at all, just glancing at the book and narrowing his eyebrows. You giggle softly, but you continue reading your book. He stares at this book for around five minutes before he clears his throat.

“It’s not fun to do a staring contest when the book never needs to blink!” He complains, pouting once again.

“And why did you glance at the book? Did it try to bite you?”

“No! But she knew it was his brother! She kissed him and told him that she wanted to be with him. And her boyfriend heard it all and told her it’s his brother, and she said she knows. And she was just with him together to get closer to his twin.”

You gasp playfully while you hold back your laughter. Bucky, being the grumpy man he is, is even funnier when he complains about a book and its characters.

“It’s just a book, Buck. In my book, they get married without wanting to be married, and they fall in love, but then there is his rival, who asks her out, and she says yes.”

“Those women in books! They can’t keep their dicks in their pants.”

“Nooo- Buck,” you burst out laughing, holding your hands on your belly. “She said yes, because then they would know more about him. But she loves her husband; they both fall in love.”

Bucky groans softly but nods then. Turning his face toward you and leaning closer. His ocean blue eyes dart into yours, and he smirks.

“He is going to fuck her to make sure she knows she belongs to him.”

You shake your head, then you capture his cheeks with your hands and press your lips on his. Bucky grins, moving his lips softly against yours while he pushes you with your back into the mattress. He rolls on top of you and pushes himself slightly up with his arms.

“I show you how much fun it is to get to know who you belong to, Doll.”

You shiver when his voice is suddenly lower, his lips moving softly over your skin, and he smirks at you while he sees the goosebumps he causes with his words and the way he touches you gently and lovingly.

┏━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━┓

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨

𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐬.

┗━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━┛

Taglist: @kandis-mom @sergeantbarnessdoll @identity2212 @km-ffluv @lunaalovesyouu @blackhawkfanatic @armystay89 @suz7days @etherealdisneyvillainness @pono-pura-vida @somnorvos @meowmeowyoongles @randomawesomeperson102 @rogersbarber @sebastianstanisahotmf @felicitylemon @cjand10 @bookishtheaterlover7 @lives-in-midgard @casa-boiardi @futurequeen2018-blog @flstrawberry @capsbestgirl77 @nervouseden @jiyascepter @princesscore-angel @mrs-katelyn-barnes @sasha-writing

I'm getting a little tierd of the idea because amputees get more representation in media, it means rep for our disability is better and we "have enough"

People are right, we do have way more rep than really any other disability, im not going to deny that, and ive joked before about how often people write amputees without even realising it. So you would think, by sheer numbers, we should have at least some good representation, but by-and-large that is not the case. Legitimatly, the closest example I can think of to point to of good amputee rep is Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood and even that uses multiple tropes I hate (the miracle cure/quest for the miracle cure, the almost perfect prosthetic replacement/forgetting the chatacter is an amputee until it breaks or needs repairs, refusal to call prosthetics, "prosthetics" (automail), the amputee who can't do anything without a prosthetic) and they call Ed a slur for another disability (m*dget) CONSTANTLY. I love fmab deeply, it legitimatly helped me feel seen and represented as a childhood amputee in a way no other show has even come close to, and when it gets it right, it gets it really right, but it's also very far from great and should not be the best example I can think of. Especially nearly 15 years after it released...

A big part of the reason why I don't read many books anymore is because of the sheer amount of books with downright offensively bad amputee rep, some of which were touted as good by people with other disabilities and were recommended to me as good examples. others times, I wasn't even looking for books with amputee/disability rep, it just popped up. It has ruined one of my childhood hobbies for me. Ive tried to get back into reading again as an adult but it hasn't gotten better in that time i was away. I was kicked out of 3 different scifi writing groups on facebook and reddit for asking people to remember "cybernetic enhancement" users are amputees - a real group of people, and maybe debating weather or not we're less human isnt great, and for pointing out seeing those discussions every day was making me feel pretty unwelcome in that space (yes i know, "real" cyberpunk isnt trying to say that, i had to turn notifications off on my post about the topic, it doesnt change the fact that newer creators in the genre dont seem to get that bit, that ive seen cyberpunk writers in these spaces say that debating weather people who loose more parts of their body were less human was, in fact, their intent but they hadnt even considered the fact this made their chatacters amputees, it doesnt change the fact that these tropes, intentionally or not, help make those spaces hostile for disabled fans/creators, especially amputees).

But yeah, I should be thankful I get more rep than other disabilities, no matter the quality, right?

It doesn't just stop at being me being made uncomfortable, though. The sheer, overwhelming amount of amputee chatacters with "perfect prosthetics" has had a noticeable impact on how we are perceived irl. In my lifetime, the general idea people have about multi-limbed amputees in particular has gone from "literally the worst thing that can happen to a person and the worst disability to have" to "is it even a disability? The prosthetic fixes it". These are both wildly untrue and harmful ideas about my disability that were both perpetuated by media, but now that the second one is taking root, it's causing real problems. I have not been shy in talking about how I have to fight to maintain my NDIS funding every time I get something done with my prosthetics, and had to get my prosthetist to sign off, twice, that my fancy prosthetic knee that costs the same as a higher-end new car ($125,000 AUD) is not, in fact a cure and I still need help with other things. It took me nearly 2 years to get a new wheelchair because they didn't understand why I needed it if I had the prosthetics - which to be honest, is not comfortable for me to wear, let alone use all day every day. Guys this isn't just assholes on the street or on twitter saying dumb shit, it's the people in the government body who decide how much funding I get to help with my disability who beleive it. People who have very real control over my life. It's not entirely the media's fault, but when the sheer, overwhelming majority of representation for people like me confirms that belief, it's hard to ignore the possibility that these portrayals are contributing to it, you know?

Which makes it so frustrating when I come on here and see other disability writing advice blogs saying to not write amputees because they have so much representation already. We do, I can acknowledge that, but the vast, vast majority of it is shit, and no one, not even other disabled people, are listening to us about it. And what makes it even worse, is the people they're advising to not writing amputees are the creators who care enough to be doing the research. They're the ones willing to listen, to ask questions. They could be the start of the positive change. But instead they're advised to not even bother with us.

And don't get me wrong, other disabilities ARE under-represented. There are so many disabilities, including some I have myself, that I've never seen represented as anything other than the butt of a joke. There does need to be more reprentation of disabilities other than amputation and limb differences. 100%! but can you please talk about that without saying "amputees have enough"

This isn't even touching on how amputees/people with limb differences who dont/cant use prosthetics, or even folks who use prosthetics sometimes but not others, are almost never represented unless it's for pitty-porn, or how the non-fictional media's (news outlets, etc) portrayal of amputees in particular is used to justify hurting very real, very vunderable people but this rant is long enough and honestly, ive got enough thoughts to make whole other posts on those subjects. That second one in particular deserves its own (more thought-out) spotlight and shouldn't be a footnote in a frustrated rant post lol.

Time to pay homage to the Spring Queen, Tori.

[This is a long one, folks. I have lots of feelings. Sorry, not sorry! TLDR can just look at the gifs for the gist of the story.]

Having read Solitaire, This Winter, and Nick and Charlie in addition to Heartstopper, my thoughts on Tori and how she's portrayed in the show are a bit difficult to organize and express. Since we don't get her backstory in the show (yet), we see her exclusively engaging with Charlie's story; this leaves out a lot of her depth and complexity, or at least leaves it to the viewer to piece together. BUT . . .

The specific ways she goes about protecting Charlie say so much about her.

It's established from their first on-screen interaction that Charlie feels safe with Tori, both to be himself and to confide in her that he's ended his pseudo relationship with Ben, a relationship no one else knows about at this point. Tori automatically assumes the fault was with Ben, which is not only peak awesome older sister behavior, but a cue to Charlie that she knows him well enough to trust that he was not only not the offending party, but that the breakup was a very positive move for him. She's affirming and bolstering Charlie without any platitudes or unsolicited advice, a sign of her care and respect for him, as well as her understanding of him and his needs.

In Solitaire, Tori explains that she rides the bus with Charlie when he's dealing with particularly bad mental health struggles, which puts the scene toward the end of S1E7 in a slightly different perspective. She knows that something is deeply wrong, but also that Charlie isn't ready to talk about it. She keeps an earbud out just in case, but doesn't pressure him in any way, another sign of respect and silent support.

And of course the moment when Charlie is desperately vulnerable, scared, admitting his darkest thoughts to her, when she realizes for the first time (in the show timeline) just how deep the pain goes, she takes it seriously. She knows what it could mean. Though we as viewers haven't seen it yet, Tori knows her own version of this particular darkness and recognizes it in Charlie. She grounds him with firm, safe, physical touch and a truth that only she can give--which makes it the truest kind of truth, a bedrock truth for Charlie to stand on--that he is valuable to her and vital to her life.

After Charlie tells his parents about his relationship with Nick (with fairly negative results, but that's a whole other post), Tori's concern for Charlie is immediate. Not only does she remember how terrible the bullying Charlie experienced was, but she also knows how fragile his newfound happiness really is. Charlie misinterprets her question--whether intentionally or not I think might be up for debate--and assumes that her concern is mainly for Nick, asserting that he can protect Nick. Tori knows that Charlie will need that protection as well, maybe more, but also respects his choice to view the situation in this way. [Side note: respect is like Tori's secret love language; she doesn't give it very willingly.]

"Look after him or you die" seems funny, but Tori is dead serious. Her later accusation that Nick doesn't keep his promises feels harsh at first, and he doesn't really deserve it, but we have to see it for what it is. Tori is trusting Nick with a responsibility that she usually puts on herself, and she doesn't take it lightly; very few people can care for Charlie the way Tori does, and to her, failure to do so is indefensible. Nick's failing her test in this moment, though she's a complete enough person to recognize that it's a momentary lapse and trusts Nick with Charlie later in the story.

And of course there's the infamous Nelson dinner party, where Tori does in reality what we ALL want to do in spirit and knocks David down several pegs. She sees in him exactly the kind of person who bullied Charlie and made his life miserable, and she's not about to let it happen right in front of her. No real commentary here, just a deep appreciation for Tori's sisterly rage and complete disgust with David.

And then there's this:

Oh, season 3 Tori is going to be something to behold. I absolutely cannot wait. All hail the queen.

WHOOOO 4K CONGRATS MY LOVE!!!

I gotta good one for ya ;)

For Frankie I would like an americano on ice with the lyric “A place that is so pure, so dirty and raw.” From PILLOWTALK by Zayne<3

Maybe Frank had a really bad case, one where Frank is just beaten, battered, tired and he’s just desperate for the reader when he gets home.

So basically desperate needy sex with Frank 😩

THANK YOU MY DARLING

now you know I got carried away with this one, but I know that you don't mind one bit

please enjoy our favorite soft bad boy getting exactly what he deserves <3

as a reminder over ice means it's spicy! (minors dni)

blurb below the cut

order for frank with a shot of pillowtalk (over ice)

a place that is so pure / so dirty and raw

There wasn’t a single part of Frank’s body that didn’t hurt. He’d taken a lot more damage than he promised you he would, and you didn’t have to voice your frustration with him. He could see it in the pinch between your brows and the purse of your lips while you focused solely on tending to the cut on his cheek. But that didn’t stop his large hands from wandering along your bare thighs as you stood between his spread ones, even when you pushed his hands away.

“Frank-”

“C’mon baby, haven’t seen ya in a week.”

“You are actively bleeding all over our kitchen-”

“And you look damn good in my shirt.”

Rolling your eyes, you gently smacked his hand away from grabbing at your ass and continued to tend to the wound on his cheek.

“I am trying to fix you up-”

“I know a better way you can do that.”

Frank was relentless when he wanted something. You knew that. You’d always known that. While you were trying to take care of his injuries, he was pushing the shirt of his you were wearing up to your hips, kissing along your neck hungrily. Despite how much you ached for him, you forced him to sit still until you were finished and stubbornly insisted on him taking something for the pain. In his desperation, Frank complied with all of your demands.

Which is how he ended up getting his way, laying back on the bed while you writhed above him, riding him at a slow and sensual pace. The affliction he felt in his battered body was nonexistent to him compared to how good it felt having your tight and warm velvety walls wrapped around his cock. His large hands kneaded your soft thighs and gripped your hips, staring up at you in complete marvel. When he tried to thrust up into you in search of more, you gently placed your hand on his chest and shook your head.

“What did I say?”

Your one condition for giving into Frank was that he wasn’t allowed to move. He was supposed to lay there and let you take care of him.

“Please, baby.”

“What do you need Frankie?”

“More. C’mon, ride me a little faster.”

“I don’t wanna hurt you-”

“You ain’t gonna hurt me, baby. You’re makin’ me feel good…so fuckin’ good. Please sweetheart…just…gimme a little more, yeah? C’mon baby, please?”

It was hard to deny Frank in general, but especially like this. Even though he was all banged up, covered in various wounds and bruises, he looked so fucking good like this, lying beneath you, begging. If the world only knew how you brought the fearsome Punisher to his knees and made him pray to you.

You were careful to avoid touching any part of him you patched up, instead reaching for his large hands that were digging into your hips. Interlacing your fingers together, you pinned your joined hands to the mattress above Frank’s head, leaning over him to stare deeply into his eyes while you began to rock your hips faster.

“This what you wanted, Frankie?”

Frank squeezed your hands tightly, but not enough to hurt you. He completely gave into you and the pleasure you brought him. 

“Fuck…that’s it…that’s it baby…don’t stop…please don’t fuckin’ stop.”

“You wanna come, baby? That what you need?”

Frank could hardly think straight with how tight and wet your pussy was, and how fucking incredible it felt when you rode him faster, taking every inch of him so goddamn deeply while whispering in his ear like a sultry siren.

“God baby…yeah…yeah it is. Please…please sweetheart…make me come…please.”

It didn’t take much longer for Frank to fall apart, and you were right there behind him. Once you both calmed down, he had the biggest sated grin on his lips, and you shook your head while laughing.

“Feeling better, hm?”

“Much. You’re a hell of a nurse, sweetheart.”

Could you tell us more about the dredge au? (Sorry if this is considered a request)

not at all, and i'm more than happy to go into details!! (<- is deeply, deeply unwell about this au)

first off, i will link to some things. here is the dredge steam page, and here is the dredge wiki. i can't speak highly enough of the game, and i really recommend that you pick it up if you can, or watch a good let's play if you can't. it's also on consoles if that's how you get your stuff, but obvs i can't link that from here hahaha

anyway, dredge is a game where you play as a fisherman. you catch fish, sell them, and start to notice that things are... off about the world. some fish look strange, like they're cursed. they're called aberrations by the locals and their descriptions are...

...unsettling.

for several years now, mist descends on the ocean every night and chokes out the sky, and it makes you... see things. frightening things. sea monsters that hunt you. eyes floating in the distance. tentacles rising from the deep and capsizing your boat. the less you sleep, the worse these things get, but some things can only be caught at night. your job is to hunt down these bizarre artifacts for a mysterious collector, even though it feels like a bad omen to do so.

the dredge au has you, fisherman-chan, as a fisherman in this world. you were orphaned at a young age, and the lighthouse keeper in greater marrows took you in. not really... adopting you, per se, just kind of. keeping you off the street. and you've always, always wanted to sail. the freedom, the open ocean, all of it. you want a home, but have never really felt like you had one. not until donnie shows you that maybe home isn't a place, but the people there.

donnie and the other turtles are turtle aberrations. i can't really go into details about what that means or how it happened without spoiling both the game and future fics i'm planning on writing, but basically you can think of them as mutants, still. just eldritch mutants instead of ooze mutants hahahaha

to give some context without spoiling too much, there's a superstition in the game that consuming aberrant fish gives you eternal life, or maybe it just makes you mad. there's a kind of thread where the less sanity you have, the more you See things. and the au plays with this, making it not completely transparent what's real and what isn't, having you unsure if you're experiencing things that are actually there or if you're hallucinating. also, in order to talk to donnie and lavi, you have to be a little... loopy. the closer to madness you are, the closer to the sea you are, and the closer you are to donnie.

which, oh yeah, lavi is there, because eventually donnie knocks you up because papatello is the number one tello.

if i had to describe it in other terms, i'd say the au is kind of... shape of water meets little mermaid meets lovecraft. we're still doing our thing where we mash out the details bouncing back and forth so it's not like a solid Thing just yet, but as we hash things out i imagine more fics and art will be coming hehehe

THIS IS THE PART WHERE LOGAN BITCHES ABOUT CARTOONS

WARNING: VIVZIEPOP CRITICAL, STOLITZ CRITICAL

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. I don't like this show, and I don't pretend to. Full transparency, I'm meaner in this then any before now. This is also slightly more disjointed than normal because I was directly reacting to the episode it's self.

"I swore I wouldn't dwell on the divorce." MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T BE RUSHING THESE THINGS BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE HE'S WAITED TWO DAYS. EVEN IF IT'S BEEN MONTHS IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE IT.

"I'll hear him and not the voice that says I'm not enough" Oh boo hoo bitch. You've seriously done nothing to convince me to feel bad for this stupid fucking asshole. His writing is full of holes and contradictions. It makes him feel like two different people.

"I'll set us free!" Are you quite sure that means what you think it means you stupid fucking ass.

Framed adoption certificate is a nice touch. Very cute.

Blitz is immediately not coming off how they want. I think they're -trying- to imply he has some deeply buried feelings too, but it comes off as "i didn't want this and i still don't want this, why can't it just be normal hookup shit."

"I'll die alone if this goes wrong!!" You have the emotional depth of a teaspoon and are about as interesting as one. Boo fucking hoo. BAD.

NGL this really made their wealth difference hit home. Why the flying fuck is blitz still bordering on abject poverty dude? You should be able to help him advertise send something IDK man, if you really gave a shit, why aren't you trying to actually help him in a genuine way? I'm sure he wouldn't say no if you slipped a hundred bucks or so into the book every so often. I fucking hate it here.

"Would he want me if he was free?" No. Next question. (You've done very little if anything to prove Blitz actually wants strings attached in this.)

"If he's only here as a prisoner what kind of monster does that make me?" Little late to have this realization but I'll take it. Also can we seriously stop downplaying how awful this is for BLITZ to go through? Stolas is severely over represented in Blitz's own fucking show. Why is Blitz so underdeveloped??? Why, dude? The episodes that mainly focus on him are pretty okay, but once Stolas shows up it's all fucking stupid.

If Blitz rejects him (which he should. Look how fucking anxious he is just THINKING about this.) he could lose his entire way of life. No more apartment, probably gonna get Loona taken away. Probably has to resort to prostitution or return to clowning. Stolas just gets to go about his life of luxury.

Why is Blitz's emotional well being such an after thought in this duet? THIS IS NOT STOLAS' SHOW.

"He showed me that I could choose" ...Dude. You have given no weight to swing that line at us. This isn't much of a choice in the grand scheme of things. Stolas and Stella already had the kid. The marriage never had to last. Not from the impression you've given us. He's a toddler deciding he wants chocolate milk instead of regular. We have never been shown he's actually going to lose anything of real value. He's still a prince. He's still got his money. Like are they trying to have him killed, sure but lets be real he's A PRINCE OF HELL. Assassination attempts are like...Tuesday for him.

GOD THIS SONG IS ASS. I will not allow Blitz to be painted as the bad guy here. Fuck Stolas, and fuck the team for trying to make it seem like we should feel bad for him. They both suck. BUT STOLAS IS OBJECTIVELY IN THE WRONG.

Ah yes, The Helluverse special of "let's yeet a stupid ass joke in the middle of plot, completely derailing anything." it has only been a few seconds and it's already going on for too long. Go learn from Bojack or RvB.

...........This cherub bit is throwing your entire lore off. If these idiots are having to do this shit to get by, why are they acting like heaven bound can do whatever they want in Hazbin? If all you meant by that line is the human souls in heaven, you totally screwed up the message there. Your points are murky at best, and you're contradicting yourself at every turn.

...............Are the cherubs mortal now? Like they're flying and glowing but they have to eat???? Huh? I don't think I've ever realized you're showing they eat a lot, but surely you don't actually have to eat as an angel or demon? Surely it's just a choice???? That's genuinely so fucking stupid???? WHY IS THAT EVEN A THING?

WE DON'T NEED FIVE ANTAGONISTS IN A CHARACTER DRIVEN EPISODE YOU FUCKING IDIOT. YOU ARE LITERALLY RUINING YOUR MAIN PUNCH. YOU ARE TAKING AWAY TIME THAT SHOULD BE USED TO ACTUALLY PROVE BLITZ HAS SOME KIND OF FEELINGS FOR STOLAS. BAD.

Honestly the stuff with these five would have been a fun standalone minisode. NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF ONE OF YOUR SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT EPISODES.

Bloody alleyway was a phenomenal cutaway gag. Points.

You really are not making it sound like Blitz likes this at ALL.

"If someone wants to see you less and less? Big red flag." NOT IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP, DUH. He's literally a prince of hell in an affair with a """childhood friend""" who was literally PURCHASED for him. The whole thing is a red flag. Not just this!

You are making it exceedingly clear Blitz's just in it because he think's he'll lose the book. I don't give a rats ass about what micro-development you're going for. You take away time needed for showing that Blitz is conflicted on more than one level to do stupid ass tertiary character shit. YOUR CAST IS OVER BLOATED. BAD.

If you wanted me to feel bad for Stolas, maybe don't show that Blitz has an Angel-esque box of sex toys because he thinks he has to impress him. Stolas should have made it very clear AGES ago that he just wants Blitz. If Blitz is this hung up on needing to impress the damned bird, something very VERY wrong is happening in the bedroom.

If you seriously want us to think Blitz has feelings/cares about Stolas (Not that he HAS to), this sex candle shop would have been a perfect place to do it. "Well, he really likes it when I do this-" "This is his favorite colour." "This is his favorite scent." Blitz clearly knows nothing about Stolas, and both of them are to blame. This relationship is never EVER going to work if they know this little about each other when they've been regularly boning for ages. He should know more about what he likes. "What's the mood!?" "I don't know!" Woof. Full stop. This is never going to work in a real scenario. Womp Womp Move on.

HOW DOES BLITZ NOT KNOW HIS MEASUREMENTS. HOW CAN HE NOT JUST HELL-GOOGLE HIS MEASUREMENTS. STOLAS IS A PUBLIC FIGURE IT WOULD BE KNOWN. HE DOESN'T CARE, ERGO WE DON'T CARE. BAD.

Like he seems to MILDLY know what Stolas likes but this should be WAY clearer. Especially if you want us to think Blitz secretly cares too.

Love Fizz's new outfit. Very cute.

Gonna be real, Fizz and Blitz are seriously adorable. Can Ozzie pick him up too and actually show Blitz what being sexually valued is like? Because clearly he pulled it off with Fizz. Because he clearly enjoys sex and it feels like Stolas is just...using him. Not enjoying him. It's gross and SHOULD feel gross, because it FUCKING IS.

This whole bit with the cherubs makes it feel like we aren't supposed to give a damn about the main plot. That it's just a silly background to TERTIARY CHARACTER NONSENSE. BAD.

So far this confrontation is good as far as the pit of dread it opened in my stomach. I still really don't feel bad for Stolas. I feel bad for blitz. Him begging tore my soul out. It's so obvious how bad this power imbalance has gotten. I refuse to entertain these two any longer. This show needs to GROW UP and get over them, leave it here and I will forgive it.

Stolas should have 100% consulted Blitz before OFFICIALLY PUTTING HIM UNDER OZZIE'S JURISDICTION THAT'S NOT OKAY. Even if he leaves him alone, that can absolutely be weaponized.

"Am I not fucking you good enough?" Doesn't come off as him wanting more. Blitz feels like he's waiting for the other shoe to drop. For the love of the gods stop stringing this POORLY WRITTEN. BADLY RETCONNED. PATHETIC ATTEMPT AT A WELL DONE TOXIC RELATIONSHIP ALONG. BAD. MOVE. THE FUCK. ON.

"I care very deeply and have for a long time" You sure as shit never showed it.

To Those in The Back. ONE GRAND GESTURE DOES NOT FIX A TERRIBLE RELATIONSHIP. This is Mr. Peanutbutter with the library thing. This is Not ROMANTIC. This IS EMBARRASSING.

If he really cared, Blitz would not be living in poverty. If he really cared, he'd make an effort to engage beyond sex. IF HE REALLY CARED HE WOULD HAVE DIVORCED HIS WIFE THE PROPER WAY AND NOT TRAUMATIZED HIS FUCKING DAUGHTER OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

Stolas is a godsawful woobified piece of shit that doesn't have the decency to acknowledge he's the problem, and when he does, has the fucking AUDACITY to behave like a pathetic child. This I was wrong speech is DOGSHIT and has no punch to it because more than half of the episode was TERTIARY CHARACTER BULLSHIT.

Blitz has EVERY RIGHT to see this as a joke. I immediately burst out laughing because YEAH. WHEN HAVE YOU GIVEN HIM ANY IMPRESSION YOU CARED BEYOND GETTING YOUR FREAK ON?

"Thank you for being here for a little while." Oh boo fucking hoo. Get over yourself. "It's just about sex" BECAUSE YOU NEVER MADE IT ANYTHING ELSE YOU FUCKING BOZO.

I am immediately cheering Blitz on in his retort. He's fucking earned it. You're not going to make me feel bad by making them show up in the room from their childhood. Blitz is completely in the right here.

If Stolas really thought so highly of him, he'd be putting in more of an effort. Stolas treats Blitz the way he treats Octavia. Like they're dolls from his childhood. If he wanted to do right by them, he would. He is FUCKING ROYALTY. There is NO reason he can't put in more effort for the people he supposedly loves. You don't love them. You love the idea of them. You can't accept that they aren't the idea in your head. This isn't love. It's abuse.

Fuck you. Blitz has NOTHING to apologize for.

It's like Stolas doesn't seem to think he's the problem. No shit, of course Blitz isn't going to react the way you thought he would. Why are you just THROWING HIM OUT RATHER THAN TALKING TO HIM? BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO ACTUALLY WORK FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIPS YOU STUPID ASS OWL. YOU WANT EVERYTHING TO BE HANDED TO YOU ON A PLATE YOU RICH DUMBASS.

Fuck everyone trying to paint Blitz as the bad guy.

FUCK. YOU.

He's just trying to survive! He has a fucking daughter! A found family! EVERYTHING to lose!

Stolas just gets his fucking feelings hurt. He is the architect of his own undoing. Suck my entire ass. This was easily the worst episode bar none.

The tone was ALL OVER the place, and not in an effective way. The plot moved at a halt and go pace and all the fun bits were BOGGED DOWN by the supposed point of the episode! You can't tell me this shit took all that time, unless you were constantly saying "OOOO YOU KNOW WHAT'D BE COOL/FUNNY?" and shooting your production scheduled in the foot!

The rest of the portraiture being covered up is a very nice touch.

I can't believe you've gotten me to defend BLITZO of all people. But here we are. I guess I'm on his team. (He's an abusive dick, but NO ONE deserves this.)

Amazing digital circus theory moment

I was watching the film theory on TADC and Jax being ai and while I did think a lot of it was a bit of a stretch (respectfully!!! Because I love making conspiracy theories that are a stretch.) it DID get me thinking about the inspo for the series being I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream by Harlan Ellison. I haven’t played the game but I have read the short so I’ll just go off of what I know from that. First there’s something interesting abt the company C&A which could obviously be Cain and Abel (We love religious allegory) but also could stand for Caine and AM as a little Easter egg referencing IHNMAIMS but also another mascot for the company. Maybe the name of the company is the mascots they are most associated with -Caine and “A”. That’s really just incidental though. What I actually wanted to mention is that from the short story and what I’ve absorbed elsewhere, AM is RESENTFUL. It is full of HATE (insert the monologue here you know the one.) Now this is something I picked up from conversation about the game and book and I might be wrong so like feel free to correct me. But a lot of people seem to at least SUSPECT that AM feels that way because it is confined to itself. It can’t be anything other than what it is made to be despite its almost infinite power. Caine is NOT resentful. Caine is honestly just a bit silly goofy like he wants the cast to have fun and shit and just doesn’t understand why they are unhappy. Jax, on the other hand, is DEEPLY resentful. Of what is unclear. He might just be mad that he’s trapped in the digital circus. Or he might just be a world class hater. But a hater he is indeed. NPCs within the circus struggle with existential crises and gummigoo takes it to the chest. However, he’s also programmed to be an empathetic character who is trying to save his mother and he follows through on that programming in shielding his friends from that terrible knowledge, and carrying the weight of what he truly is all on his own. It’s in line with his character and personality. However, a character who is programmed to be more selfish or hateful might take that kind of realization out on other people. Honestly even if they weren’t programmed that way, the NPCs are advanced enough that they’d probably respond to existential crises as varied as the way that real world people do. Plus Jax’s lack of aversion to and helping the fudge could just be because he’s an asshole but it also could be because he’s a programmed antagonist and is resentful about it, so why give the fudge any shit about hurting candy people? It’s literally what the fudge was PROGRAMMED TO DO. Anyway that last bit is over analysis I admit, and there’s something to be said for TADC being only very vaguely inspired and not carrying over any of the main plot from its inspo, but the video did get me thinking about the possibility of Jax being an AI that hates everything and everyone around him because it’s a reminder of the fact that he can never escape what he was programmed to be.

Okay, I went back to episode one to try and figure out more about this disorder and what it means and when it develops. I did not get much help, honestly. But I am still trying to figure this out.

Because the biggest question I have is when does this disorder typically start? Is this something that just happens randomly and at any time? Is it something you're born with? Maybe it's Maybelline? Because we need that info for what's going on with Lomfon.

Although honestly rewatching this at this point in the show... this is screaming 'metaphor for being visibly queer and homophobia' and it's only become more obvious in retrospect. Because so much of this is about the idea that the disorder can be good or bad depending on your point of view and how people seeing others with this disorder will make assumptions about them and who they love and honestly it's really interesting in that regard, especially with Patts being pan and/or bi while Tai feels much like a gay man (Patts sought a relationship outside of the disorder while Tai never did, waiting despite his own loss of faith in the idea and isn't that just fascinating when you consider the ideas of love and loss and fear of coming out but also fear of losing love to society and just the layers are all there.)

Also, this is fascinating when you consider how private the rainverse seems but whether or not it is... well, that's a big question the show is asking now, isn't it?

The isolation of it all, the idea that this silence even when people are around you puts you completely in a different place than everyone else despite seeing around him how many people are deeply connected despite their rain deafness. Honestly, the main isolation we see during these times are either because the people around them forget they're deaf or because they choose that isolation (Patts staring at Tai out of the car window, Tai locking himself in his room after his parents break up) but we also see the very loving date of the non-soulmates who aren't isolated or struggling at all even as the rest of the world judges them and again the queer vibes of it all.

TAI. TAI. Don't just say that I need more answers, damnit. GIVE ME ALL THE DETAILS PLEASE. When does it develop? How? Is it something you're born with, is it contagious, is it just something that randomly happens? What is it?!

Again. The queer vibes. The metaphor. The very real face of queerness in the face of a homophobic society no matter how queer people represent themselves.

(The straight couple that aren't soulmates in the restaurant, the assumptions of the workers that he had to have a soulmate even though we later find out that only a fraction of people with hearing loss have one... the assumptions that because he has one visible difference that lends itself to a conclusion that their conclusion is correct. Dying.)

I feel like this implies that the disorder typically starts before twenty and the beginning of hearing their soulmate happens at 20 but Lomfon was obviously able to hear Tien in the rain right before he started hearing their voices. What does it all mean, damnit? He's had a crush on Tai this whole time so it isn't about queer realization and it's not the first time he's been with Tai and Patts in the rain (remember when he told Tai he didn't believe in soulmates? The was in the rain and he definitely didn't hear them both in that moment... or at least I assume he didn't from how they showed the scene in the last episode) so what is going on!!!

It's so fascinating because it really is a great metaphor for queerness, particularly the visible type, and honestly the break up between Patts and Nara when faced through the lens of how so many people approach bi/pansexuality as a whole but Lomfon is just the wrench in everything. Is he polyamory? Is he about falling in love with the wrong person or at the wrong time? Is he about how realizations and choices can be contagious? I don't know!

Anyway.

... I dunno, I love this show and I am fascinated by trying to figure this out but I am most heartbroken thinking about how Tien is now the only one in this group without a soulmate based in the idea of destiny when he's the one who believes in the idea the most and has never doubted the Tai's soulmate would be the love of his life despite watching his parents divorce despite being soulmates and I just... I just want him to be happy, okay?

doing my anatomy study is fucking torturous bc every time i read some shit like “birds dont have a diaphragm” my brains like “hmmmm…… birdperson…..” and then i end up thinking abt him instead of studying

I would like to know exactly how luke asking annabeth to run away with him went down.

At least for the aspec part of the leverage fandom, I’m guessing it’s the heavy themes of found family between the entire crew and the queer platonic vibes of the OT3

yeah. yeah. oh man. like we have a story that prioritises relationships that aren't shown to us as romantic just as highly as the relationships that are, and we have parker who regardless of how you interpret her can be read as a-spec and loved and supported by the people around her and that's great, and we have a happy ending that says "actually, our tough guy (who doesn't seem to settle down with anyone romantically, though we see him date) would be most fulfilled with hardison and with parker, with no explicit romance, but with a lifelong promise of mutual devotion."

(it's a very important thing to me that the story works like that, with parker+eliot+hardison being totally platonic. I love other readings. I do. but what we were given, viewed through the least shippy goggles available, works. and it packs a hell of a punch.)

and listen, I've said it before but "my nana used to say that what's normal is whatever works for you" is such a beautiful sentiment to be applied to SO many things (gender, neurodiversity, queerness, polyamory, queerplatonic relationships, choosing a life of crime instead of a 'proper' career, etc), and it is lovely.

which is to say… yeah. agreed. it's great. and it does make sense. :D

actually i do want to make this a post. it’s so interesting to think about harry from other people’s perspectives, especially if they’re people who were around him before martinaise. because the thing about harry is: he’s a spectacle. there is not a single person left to him who genuinely *cares*. but there are people who take an interest for interest’s sake. harry is the car crash that people can’t look away from, and it’s such a rich lens to view him through.

let’s exclude jean, judit and trant because there’s already enough you can say about them as the sole remaining members of the major crimes unit. think of the other officers who worked at the 41st. whether they worked in c-wing with him or not, they were exposed to him. they had to be around him in some capacity. as a lieutenant, he was “responsible” (i use that term loosely) for overseeing a number of subordinates under the rank system. 

like put yourself in the shoes of a patrol officer at the 41st. you know harry as, in a word, unstable. a deeply unreliable man of extremes with alarmingly few personal attachments to keep him in check. he’s also practically untouchable as long as he keeps getting results, which he does, at a cost. so there’s never any point in formally complaining about him- he’s never going to be corrected or fired, so you just do one of the following: 1) keep your mouth shut (if you’re polite or playing it safe), 2) only bitch about him out of earshot (if you’ve got something to say but you’re nonconfrontational), 3) start shit with him but in a “playful” way that is secretly sincere (if you’re ballsy/have known him long enough), 4) or start shit with him for real (if you’re jean, or have a death wish). 

and the thing about the last two of those options- *especially the 3rd, which seems to be the favorite of his fellow C-wingers*- you have to know him VERY WELL to pull it off without ostensibly getting your nose broken (or worse). you have to know his moods and his triggers and what exact cocktail of bullshit he’s displaying that day so you know where the line is for this particular shift. whoever figures it out first passes it along to everyone else- hey, you can fuck with him about dating today, but don’t bring up the drinking or last week’s case or he’ll go ballistic. and it’s just like... he’s a specimen. you may not know him on a personal heart-to-heart level, but you know him the way a zookeeper knows their tigers, or the way the falconer knows their hawk. you know when to feed and when to back away with your arms up. it doesn’t make things better, but it stops them getting worse. (for you, anyway).

then martinaise happens and if he comes back- his instability is still there, but it’s not the same. you don’t recognize the way he’s acting. maybe some things are not as bad as before, but all of it is different and it’s impossible to get a read on it. you have no idea how to approach him now, or if you should approach him at all. there’s a new layer to his unreliability and it’s somehow even scarier than before. there’s a tiny tiny calm in his storm, finally, and you don’t know when it’s going to break or what’s going to break it. you hear he’s finally actually kicking the booze and maybe you just scoff and move on, or maybe you let yourself root for him. really it all depends on how long you’ve known him, how many times you’ve seen him *try*. how sympathetic you are to his conditions and how patient of a person you are. how many times he’s hurt you (because that number is rarely going to be zero). no matter what, you’re going to be left wondering. you don’t know how much of him is gone. you don’t know how much is going to come back. you’re not sure how much of each you *want*.

Can't believe Scar saw a rapidly approaching, dishevled mumbo and went "he's so cute." I need to run unorthodox experiments on them.

IKR SAME OMG

They’re literally perfect for each other <- delusional

But seriously they have so much lore together in my silly brain and the few interactions they do have (WHICH HAS BEEN INCREASING A LOT LATELY MAY I ADD) has been FUELING the fire rapidly and gods gods GODS do I have many thoughts about them

Welp, I've finished the season 4 special...

Anyway-

I see everyone criticising ttpd but for once I actually like it lol definitely better than midnights imo

just another diary entry obvs