#in which i have a mental breakdown about shakespeare
Text
So I know I’m a little late to the party on this one, but I wanna talk about the David MV.
I finally decided to watch that nearly three hour video on the Literature Girl Insane MV, (by @/1moreff-creator) and HOLY SHIT IT’S SO GOOD. I wish I watched it sooner and wonder why I didn’t, I watch almost exclusively 1+ hour videos about random topics I know nothing about, and now there’s one for something I care a lot about! Why didn’t I watch immediately?!?
But my lapse in sanity aside, it finally got me motivated enough to talk about the David MV!
…Except only the part about Ace because of course that’s all I want to talk about. 9 out of 10 of my posts are either about him or have him involved somehow.
Anyways! Here’s the part I find very interesting!
This is arguably where Ace is most relevant, and therefore it makes sense I want to talk about it today.
Now, first things first, the Roman numeral. V (five) is Ace’s Roman numeral, as assigned by the crossword. The line attached is:
“Right now, why do you go insane?”
Which definitely fits. Ace could easily be framed as going insane, because he has mental breakdowns at a worryingly high frequency. Him and Veronika (who this might also be referring to if color theory is to be believed) are basically assigned the role of being seen as mentally unhinged within the class.
(…Ever think about how weird it is that the title is Literature Girl Insane, implying the star of the MV, David, is going insane, yet Ace is the one getting called insane, possibly by David? I think that’s interesting. But let’s get back on track.)
As established by other Roman numerals, the words in the background when a numeral shows itself also apply the character attached to said numeral. This is most obviously shown in the line near the top of the photo.
“A cat has 9 additional lives”
This is also easily applicable to Ace, since he survived Nico’s murder attempt against all odds. If Eden and Teruko hadn’t just so happened to be on the 2nd floor and walked into the gym when they did, he would’ve died. While the actual methodology of Nico’s murder attempt is unknown, it’s also possible that him even surviving long enough for Teruko and Eden to find them was a miracle. Either way, it fits.
The last quote on-screen intrigues me the most. It’s a quote from Hamlet.
“I am but mad north-northwest. When the wind is southerly, I know a hawk from a hand saw.”
Now, first let’s look at just those words, without further context. It’s important we know what the words themselves mean before we do anything else. Let’s start with the definition of north-northwest, since that word is pretty important to the quote.
I’m sure most are familiar with north, east, south, and west. The four main directions on a compass. As well as Northeast, Southeast, Southwest, and Northwest. That splits the compass into eight directions, splitting the sections of north, east, south, and west in half.
Similarly, north-northwest is a direction that comes from splitting the compass into sixteen parts. It’s the half of the northwest section that’s closer to north.
Next, what the hell does “I know a hawk from a handsaw” mean? It’s almost half the quote, so it’s important we know.
Well…*extremely loud sigh* Shakespeare, as you know, was alive a very long time ago. As such, he writes in old-time-y English that’s hard to understand. And this quote has the misfortune of being something people argue over the translation of, at least as far as I could tell while researching.
Some people think Shakespeare meant a heronsaw, a type of bird, not a handsaw. Others think that no, he meant handsaw, but heron, in his time period, was also a common word for a tool that holds plaster/mortar/etc..
Either way, Shakespeare was probably referring to two types of birds, or two types of tools, which have key differences from one and other. I don’t think which one the DRDTdev thought was right really matters in this instance, since the quote makes sense either way. 15/16s of the time, Hamlet (the speaker of the quote) is sane and can tell two birds/tools apart.
The quote is, in summary, saying that Hamlet is mad only when it’s north-northwest, aka 1/16th of the time (I’m not sure if that somehow connects to there being 16 participants in the killing game, but I’m going to assume it doesn’t). The other 15/16s of the time, Hamlet is perfectly sane, thank you very much.
So, without context, this quote is saying that Ace is only insane 1/16th of the time. The rest of the time he’s sane.
Next, I think another important thing we have to do is take into account the whole screenshot as a whole. By that I mean we should not only look at each line individually, but how they relate to each other. In bold is the “why do you go insane?” Line, and to the left, in a font that blends more into the background, is the Hamlet line.
There is a contradiction of opinions here. One person says, “Why do you go insane?” while the other insists they’re only a little bit insane.
This could be referring to the opinions of David and Ace. After all, one could argue it was David underestimating Ace that led to his secret being revealed. David doesn’t bother being careful around Ace in the trial, despite Ace’s volatile nature. He piles suspicion onto Ace by saying it’s weird he didn’t see him on the second floor the night before the murder, even though it isn’t. After all:
Ace was in the gym. David was in the relaxation room. Those are on opposite sides of the floor, so of course David wouldn’t have seen Ace. He didn’t even have to walk anywhere close to the room Ace was in. But David saying this information like it’s weird and suspicious makes everyone else think it is.
David thinks: But what’s Ace gonna do about it? Somehow get the whole class on his side, even though almost everyone likes me more? Is everyone really going to trust the mentally unstable (one could say insane), dumb, cowardly jockey over me?
Yes, yes they will.
All this is to say, David, in the grand scheme of things, doesn’t really care about Ace throughout chapter two. He steals Nico’s secret from him, antagonizes him in the trial, and doesn’t care. Ace doesn’t matter. Ace, of all people, can’t be the one to ruin him. So who cares if Ace dislikes him? Ace is of no use to David, and Ace certainly isn’t smart enough to figure out David’s scheme. This is what David believes.
However, this leads to him not taking Ace’s volatile nature seriously enough, believing he is above the harm of someone like him. But hey, even a pawn can play a vital part in checkmating a king.
When David pisses off Ace, believing Ace can’t do anything besides get angry, yell, and make himself look more suspicious…That turns out to be a crucial mistake that ruins everything.
…Y’know, the irony of the class idiot being the one to beat the so-called master manipulator will never not be funny to me.
Anyways, we can sort of apply this to Hamlet, too. If Ace is Hamlet, since this is Hamlet’s line, and David is Claudius, his father-in-law, we do have a pretty good parallel.
Claudius, who secretly killed Hamlet’s father and then took his throne, is secretly not as righteous as he seems. However, Hamlet finds out about Claudius being the one who killed his father and seeks revenge. Claudius thinks Hamlet to be mad, but when Claudius isn’t around, Hamlet says, “But my uncle-father (Claudius) [is] deceived. I am but mad north-northwest. When the wind is southerly, I know a hawk from a hand saw.” Eventually, Hamlet kills Claudius. So in DRDT terms, Ace finds out about David’s manipulation, David is unaware of this, and Ace eventually kills David’s public persona. Obviously this is an extreme simplification of the plot, but still.
…Of course, there’s also a chance this contradiction of opinions isn’t about Ace and David specifically. After all, David isn’t the only one to boil Ace down to his core traits of “dumb, angry, overall not a well-adjusted individual”. The whole class does this, at least for the most part. This Hamlet quote could just be trying to say what Ace has been saying. That everyone sees him as a loudmouth, stupid, cowardly and nothing more, when in reality there’s more to him than that.
I might have gone a little overboard with this part…I got excited…Hopefully this all actually makes sense, I had to revise some of this post because it got ramble-y and overall pretty cluttered.
So yeah. Here’s my (very late) contribution to the David MV discussion. Here’s what I think Ace’s part means. If you want me to elaborate anywhere, feel free to tell me, or if you want to tell me your thoughts, I’d love to see that!
#danganronpa despair time#drdt#drdt spoilers#david chiem#ace markey#David MV#fun fact: i was originally going to make a post about how maybe ace could be the red in color theory#…before realizing HOW MUCH RED THERE IS#not so sure i could justify him being that prominent even if he did play a major part in david’s reveal
25 notes
·
View notes
Note
omg I don’t remember the Van Gogh ep very well pls say more
there’s something just very unpleasant and patronising about the whole tone that the episode takes. i’m not especially fond of the tendency to narrativise real people anyway, but i think some of dw’s other episodes manage to strike a more lighthearted tone which aims to build a plot around the presence of a famous historical figure (charles dickens, agatha christie, shakespeare, regrettably churchill), sometimes exploiting biographical details (the plot of the unicorn and the wasp hinges on christie’s real-life three-day disappearance, for instance, and draws not inconsiderably from the breakdown of her marriage) but often not seeking to inhabit or interiorize the historical figure in question to an extent that supercedes the desire to like, tell a story in an episode of doctor who. the tone of the episodes doesn’t tend to veer outside of the register of like, It’s The Fun BBC Science Fiction Show.
by contrast, there’s something very … condescending, i think, about how van gogh (the real van gogh!) is treated in vincent and the doctor. it strikes this odd tone between like a platitudinous approach to the nebulous concept of ‘mental health’ of the #BeKind ilk and this almost voyeuristic desire to paint a mentally ill man as, like, at once necessarily separate from the audience such that we must Encounter him (the presumed audience is never themselves mentally ill; we are here to Learn about mental illness and to Reflect on our desire to disenfranchise the mentally ill! etc) and available to us as a source from which we can extract all sorts of Lessons about Mental Health. the tone of the episode is very self-serious; it is very clearly aware of itself as an episode with Something To Say. that being, that VVG’s suicidality couldn’t have been prevented by the doctor and amy or by idk The Power of Art (And One’s Own Legacy Within It), that the doctor is limited in what ‘monsters’ he can fight and what ‘monsters’ he cannot, that we (for whom the doctor + amy briefly become audience surrogates 1 and 2, amy in particular) are tasked with Being Kind anyway because we might make a small difference in someone’s life such that they, for example, dedicate a painting of sunflowers to us. (lmfao?)
it’s just weirdly cannibalistic; it’s taking this historical figure and extrapolating a bunch of like, sweeping moralising statements and supposedly affecting scenes (i know many people find the scene in the musée d’orsay vv affecting; i thought it was stupid, sorry), trying to say something about artistic brilliance & artistic legacy but not really landing on anything coherent or interesting beyond like, art by marginalised people is depreciated (true!) but we can fix that by appreciating it, in the musée d’orsay (fuck off!), but Even That can’t make someone not suicidal (true but collapsed by the narrative as quickly as it comes, and also not really … interesting). it wants so badly to say something about van gogh, but it doesn’t feel like an episode that cares about van gogh the man as much as it cares about using van gogh as a metonymic shorthand for all these ideas around Mental Health and Art and Madness and Legacy. which is what i meant when i said it feels cannibalistic—and intrusive at points! i felt uncomfortable watching it in ways that i didn’t with eg. the dickens, christie, shakespeare eps.
98 notes
·
View notes
Text
im gonna go full english lit under the cut
I saw measure for measure??? with my local Shakespeare in the Park about month and a half ago and im mcfucking obsessed with it. So much so that ive tried to find every clip of every film, every show, rehearsal, production, that i can to compare how scenes played out. I even listened to a harvard lecture about it, i’m that far gone. I BOUGHT. A SHIRT. I bought the book with additional notes and discussions because this play is fascinating.
WHY AM I OBSESSED?!
All readings through different lenses are there in full force, fully supported, living side beside with one another. And professors, actors, directors, scholars etc, all seem to congregate on the fact that not one reading is more valid than the other. Theyre so well balanced without ever really given moral answers but merely presented, almost like the Jacobean meaning of the “glass” both a mirror to predict the future and reflect on oneself. And in a post elizabethan age where puritans were outlawing plays and putting stricter holds on licentiousess this play is so close to upsetting the dominant religious force.
And the READINGS! ARE ALL! SO GOOD! There is historicist reading (king James I), Folkloric, Religious, SadoMasochist, Psychosexual, Moral, Feminist, and Capitalistic readings. THEY ALL EXIST SIDE BY SIDE.
And the staging of the play determines how many of these a production can pull together. I think that is why I wanted to see as many scenes are possible.
I think just the way Angelo and Isabella are played will determine which main reading the play tackles.
I’ve seen some versions of the interview scenes that are truly horrific acts of sexual violence that made me watch between my fingers. In this the feminist reading can come into full force, the full underline of Angelo as a sexual predator is made prevalent. And the line “and with an outstretched throat i will tell the world what man thou art, Angelo” being present that strong feminist reading IS ALWAYS THERE. (DID I MENTION I LOVE ISABELLA FLAWS AND ALL). The idea that Isabellas voice is the most crucial device in the play is FLOORING.
The Duke being a nearly godly figure who knows all and manipulates all, Angelo as his emissary becomes like an angel in the process of self corruption, from the inhumane ice he is so dubbed to warmed by the sins he so condemns. And Isabella defending the thing she so hates because it is her brother who commits the sin is the defense of someone who does not truly believe her brother is just. Mercy as justice. To wield power and to use it for mercy is so profound, and she is the only one who carries her ethos through like this to the end ofthe play. I’m not a theologist but so far this is the reading of theologists into the matter.
The version I saw in person he practically throws himself at her feet and it becomes an interplay of the psychosexual and moral. His knees buckle under her touch, it becomes the interaction of repressed sexuality channeled into both law and religion. In the Stratford production Isabella wipes her brow with water out of disgust or heat, no one is sure. it’s left ambivalent. In the one I saw Angelo was made almost comedic and sympathetic, which made ISabellas mercy still feel like an axe coming down upon his head.
And then characters like Barnadine just using comedy, the genre of the gods as the greeks called it, to dimish law, to put it to shame. To put the godly/playwright Duke in his place.
The folkloric bed switch (which is folklore yes but Im not totally comfortable calling it consensual even tho Angelo is a sexual predator you can bring modern sensibilities to the reading), is indicative of oral traditions that predate shakespeare. The idea that every character must do in this play the thing they most loathe to do.
Claudio fears death so he must die, Isabella must have sex to save a life when she has sworn herself to chastity. Then they both sort of hurt each other, Claudio by asking her to yield herself up to this non consensual sexual coercion of upmost grossness, and isabella by telling him to be happy he will die because there is nothing so painful as being alive (ISABELLA HES AN EXPECTING FATHER). He asks her to do the thing she loathes most in a fit of desperation because the man who loves life must die. And Isabella the woman who “would wear these keen whips as rubies” would have have done anything but sex, tells her brother that living isnt worth it. ITS INTENSE. LIKE WOW.
It’s absolutely no surprise that Isabella and Angelo are my favourite characters in the play. This awful sexual coercion (the degree of violence is dependant on staging which is like holy shit WTF), lives side by side with the fact that they are the two only people whose language, diction, beats, and intelligence matches each other. They both have the same fervor for their moral divisions and hierarchies. The idea of strict testing of morals and faith is in the text. Isabella wishes for harsher, more challenging, and harrowing tests of faith. You can argue as to why, I personally think its for the strengthening of faith and connection to the divine. Meanwhile Angelo is the one setting restrictions for hundreds of thousands of vienna, setting those on other people to strengthen the connection to a higher moral fibre, and I think in some respects faith as well but thats my interpretation.
Where others live their vices without restrictions, these two set limits for either themselves and/or others to be something more. They are in the way that motif of the “glass” The mirror. In that sense they reflect each other, but they also become each others foil. Which is why I do think a case can be made for the parallels with the psycho sexual and the SadoMasochist readings. Restraints for rewards, the repression on both their parts is there.
I’m not saying that negates the strong feminist reading or in anyway shape or form validates the absolute horror of the coerced sex/rape. I just say that they exist side by side with each other. They are equals in text/language/fervour AND YET they are not because he holds every power over her and her brother. He wants to restrict others where he cannot restrict himself, and Isabella restricts herself in part because she lives in a Vienna full of vice. She has a control over her own self that he proves not to have. And HE has a control over the world of the play that she cant.
AND YET. SHE IS MARRIED TO THE DUKE. SHE MARRIES INTO PROMINENCE. I don’t love the idea that she does not become a nun, her original want, and is instead coopted by the shitty duke (i am not pro duke sorry). The only upside at the end of the play is that Isabella can, in some measure, have political sway over the masses. Meanwhile Angelos fall and forgiveness put him into a marriage where his vice of coercive sex becomes consummation of a sleeping marriage. IT FEELS LIKE they sort of mirror each other the whole way through the play. ITS WEIRD BECAUSE THERE IS SO MUCH SEXUAL AND POLITICAL INEQUALITY TO THEM. ITs a play full of contradictions which I LOVE BECAUSE IT IS NOT SIMPLE NOT BECAUSE IT IS RIGHT. I do think there is a case to be made that Isabella unwillingly comes face to face with sexuality, his and hers, and its not on terms she wants, but it happens. And you see her struggling to maintain the authority over her own autonomy. But then she has to contemplate sex for herself, “to give up her boy into saucy sweetness, licentiousness, the filthy vices”. What does ISabella do when she comes face to face with her own sexual needs, whatever she may be? We have productions in the Stratford archives from 50 years ago that make an ambiguous case that the meeting of morality and sex might actually do something for her? I DON’T KNOW. The readings keep coming. There is a possiblity for a strong Ace reading for her which no one really touches on.
ON A LIGHTER NOTE
This play has my favourite sexual innuendo. When theyre like “WHAT DID CLAUDIO DO?”
“Her?”
“no! What did he do to get taken away by the provost”
“HIS GIRLFRIEND.”
(god and isnt it nuts that the first man on the scaffold for unlawful fornication IS IN A CONSENSUAL LOVING RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND, A BOND AND CRIME THAT THE LAW (ANGELO) HAVE DEEMED IMMORAL. YET THE LAW (ANGELO) WOULD HAVE IT PARDONNED BY A NON CONSENSUAL SEX FOR EXECUTION PARDON. THE MASK OF MORALITY OF ANGELO. JFC HES SO FUCKED, like hes AWFUL, because he ends up sending claudio to death after he thinks hes had sex with isabella. LIKE WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT ND YET STILL WEARS THE LAW AS HIS MASK AFTER THE ANGEL HAS FALLEN. ITS COMPLEX AND I LOVE IT)
God and just…the sex jokes, the black comedy of barnadine right next to the high shooting morals of angelo, isabella, and mariana (another complex af character. The 1976 version certainly makes a psychosexual explanation out of that, which im not sure i enjoy. Again the psychosexual has its limits in a play about sexual coercion and rape)
AND THE FACT THAT MERCY IS WHAT SETS YOU FREE, LIKE PROSPERO FORGIVING HIS ENEMIES, ISABELLA FORGIVING ANGELO IS A HERCULEAN FEAT, IT FEELS CLOSE TO GODLINESS IDK MAN. AND I UNDERSTAND WHY SHE TELLS HER BROTHER NO I WONT SLEEP WITH HIM FOR YOUR LIFE BECAUSE ITS RAPE, BUT THEN IS LIKE BE GLAD BEING ALIVE IS SHITTY ANYWAYS. Im like? ISABELLA? WHAT?! ISabella does not know about herself that she can be desired because GOD DOES IT TAKE HER A WHILE TO UNDERSTAND ANGELOS MEANING, and yet shes got such a force for words. I find it hard to think being married to the duke that she wont have some power.
And the exchange of Angelo and Isabella in the second interview.
-His moral stance on unlawful fornication starts with abortive language, the harsh restrictions but DEVOLVES INTO THE SEXUAL WITH THE INTELLECTUAL DICTION, It becomes a mirror of himself until he is explicit of what he wants from her. (OH GOD TRULY HE GIVES ME NAUSEOUS AND YET THE ONE IN THE PLAY I SAW HE WAS ENTHRALLING I HATE THE RANGE OF THINGS ANGELO CAN MAKE ME FEEL). His mask of morality is slowly removed
-ISABELLA must argue on behalf of her brother, believing in restrictions of the kid angelo speaks of, they believe in restraining oneself to achieve a higher form of being, and yet has to straight up defend something she hates because she loves her brother. And ANGELO CAN SEE IT. I WISH THERE WAS AN AFTERMATH WHERE WE SEE HER USING HER INTELLECT AND WORDS FOR HER ENDS.
I truly think the second interview scene is one of the best exchanges Billy Shakes wrote. Because it ENDS LIKE THAT. GOD the david tennant one is chilling, the oregon shakespeare festival one is fucked. The 1976 which is the most psychosexual was so intensely disturbing that the Angelo got applause for it. IDK What that means and im too scared to ask. Idk how the RSC managed because youtbe doesnt show me that. The Repurcussion theatre was the most varied array of contradictions for angelo instead of just corrupt judge. It literally is all the shakespeare villains that do the most heinous things that Im like THATS MY FAVE. Iago was just RACISM/Sociopath and fifteen year old me was like YES HIM. I mean Richard III is bad but hes fun. ANGELO AT THE BEST IS A SEXUAL PREDATOR AND YET IM STILL LIKE WOW HOW COMPLEX ALSO THE ACTOR WAS SO GOOD LOOKING AND PLAYING UP THE BDSM BOTTOM ANGLE I WAS GONE.
And the Isabellas go from wilting lily, to some sort of quiet and reserved girl, and the one i saw was literally “she is tiny but fierce” like her voice was really forceful and i thought it was amazing.
THIS PLAY IS FUCKED WHEN IT COMES TO THESE READINGS LIVING SIDE BY SIDE BUT BOY IS THIS INTERESTING.
if you made it this far wow holy shit. thanks for coming to my ted talk.
#in which i have a mental breakdown about shakespeare#measure for measure#this is my shame and pride#its a really great play and i wish i was in school to study it academically#but im not so i gotta settle for seeing what harvard english lit says
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Kid!MC/Teen!MC Needs someone to go to Parent Teacher Interviews for Them and Guess Who’s Available?
Masterlist
The brothers being bad babysitters/dad figures is something I love very much, I bet you all could already tell that considering the Fic/Headcanon series I have going on. I would just like you all to know that Asmo’s section is based on a true story. Anyhoo~ onto the Headcanons!
Why? Why Him? (Lucifer)
Is MC really dumb, or are they just a kid? No one knows.
Obviously MC asked Lucifer, the only competent one in the house, the most professional, hard-working, controlled-
MC got their things together and gave Lucifer the run down on their teacher(s) before Lucifer got too absorbed in extolling his own virtues in an intense internal monologue.
News flash Lucifer, this isn’t a Shakespeare play, you can’t have a dramatic monologue or soliloquy about how great you think you are
At the actual meeting, if MC is in there, no, MC is not actually in there. Lucifer will speak to the teacher as if MC isn’t there. As someone whose not a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down kind of person, Lucifer expects the teacher to behave the same and not spare MC’s feelings.
Feelings do not deserve to be spared if MC is being a nuisance. No fake-kid/little sibling of his gets to be the class idiot!
If MC’s doing very well academically, he expects to be pointed at projects or tests they’ve done and the grade on it. It really makes him proud to see MC doing well.
Even if they’re not the best academically, if they’re not failing and they’re doing well in other aspects of school, he’s proud.
If MC really struggles in a school environment and just hates it there but they’re still keeping their head above water, they get a head pat of approval.
On the drive home, if MC came with him to the parent teacher interviews and everything went well, he just happens to turn onto the street that has a Baskin Robin’s or something of that caliber.
If they didn’t go, he picks something up on the way back.
No fun treats if MC is being a disruptive little heathen in class, no kid under Lucifer’s care is going to be the class Mammon. Not on his watch.
MC was busily stuffed their face with the treats that were gifted to them. Lucifer had to hold himself back from rolling his eyes at the kid’s blatant disregard for basic table manners when it came to sweets.
“Is everything the teacher said true?” Lucifer asked, MC looked up at him with a smile.
“Yep!”
“Good, good.” Lucifer held out his hand and patted them on the head. “You’re doing well. Keep it up.”
“Geez,” MC mumbled as they continued to stuff their face. “Can you get anymore affectionate?”
“Don’t be sarcastic, MC. It’s uncouth.” Lucifer said sternly. “Besides, I’ll have you know that many people enjoy my headpats. I’m quite affectionate.”
“Really now? Name one person.”
Lucifer opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out. He and MC stared each other down, one pair of eyes much more nervous than the other. Spoiler, MC was still calmly eating their treat as they maintained eye contact.
“…Cerberus.”
“If you’re reaching for Cerberus, you’ve already lost.”
…his pride was under attack. Right in front of his desert…
“You’re grounded.”
“Worth it.”
*Rides by on a Skateboard* School is for NERDS (Mammon)
Pff! Stupid human! He’s not goin’ to some lame parent teacher conference-
Wait! What’s with that face?! Ugh… fine. MC’s gone and forced his hand with those damn puppy dog eyes…
Mammon does not dress up for this event, he dresses like he would every day, maybe throw on some designer stuff to let all the parents and teachers know he’s hot shit.
If MC goes with him, he pulls up in his beloved car and takes up two parking spaces (pure evil.). Every parent present already hates him, but at least the other kids there are impressed with MC’s sweet ride. MC would have gained some street cred if Mammon hadn’t managed to trip up the stairs to the classroom in front of everyone.
He’ll act way to casual with the teacher, turning the parent chair backwards and sitting down so he can lean on the seat.
Mammon gets bored crazy quickly while the teacher lists and explains all the stuff the class is learning, so his eyes begin to wander to any and all displays in the classroom. Projects, annoying posters, class pet, anything is more interesting than this teacher’s explanation.
When MC finally becomes the main topic of the interview, he’s all ears. MC’s doing great in school academically? Ha! Nerd! Maybe giving MC a playful noogie and interrupting the whole interview wasn’t a good idea, but whatever.
If MC’s failing anything, or just isn’t that gifted when it comes to grades, it’s very much a “Aw man me too” from Mammon.
This teacher is speaking with the Great Mammon, the first demon in RAD’s history to fail three semesters in a row. If this teacher thinks bad grades will phase him, they’re dead wrong.
Grades don’t mean anythin’ about smarts anyway! I mean, look at him! He’s a fuckin’ genius but he can’t get through a history test without sobbing even though he LIVED THROUGH MOST OF IT.
MC gets treats no matter what’s up in class. Though, if MC didn’t go with him, he’s likely to forget and just order something for the two of them when he gets back home.
“Goddamn teachers and their rambling!” Mammon whined, grabbing a slice of pizza from the open box on his coffee table. “You owe me, MC! Ya really do!”
“Yeah yeah yeah.” MC said, they leaned over and rolled a pizza slice into a pizza-scroll then proceeded to eat it like a veggie roll. “How do you think I feel, listening to them every day? You know how long it takes to get to the actual class material?”
“Five years?”
“Ugh! Five years if I’m lucky! I swear, I know more about my teacher’s grievances with like… five of my classmates than I do about trigonometry, and guess which one’s on the test next week?”
Mammon winced in sympathy, then remembered he was supposed to be whining and went back to it. “School’s shit and a waste of money, ya should drop out as soon as you can and help me run my new business.”
“You mean your pyramid scheme?”
“It’s not a pyramid scheme, MC! It’s legit! It’s a multi-tiered marketing-”
“It’s a pyramid scheme.”
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SOCIAL INTERACTION (Leviathan)
Everyone else must have been sick or something for MC to have asked Levi. He’d flat out refuse to go otherwise.
So, Levi couldn’t exactly go to the interview in his usual “I haven’t left my room or changed clothes in eight weeks” look. With the help of MC, he was able to find his military uniform at the back of his closet.
Asmo nearly fainted when he saw Levi in the uniform, not because “oooo, a man in uniform~”, it was because the outfit was so crumpled and wrinkled that it made it physically painful to look at. No time to iron and wash, the conference was in an hour!
Levi (and MC if they went with) rolled up to the school in a less than impressive ride, but one look at the uniform and all the other people present went “yep, time to be respectful (tm)”
For the first time in his life Levi was more intimidating than Lucifer! And he wasn’t even trying!
When the teacher starts explaining the course material, Levi spaces off in horror as he realizes he remembers literally nothing from school (AND HE’S STILL IN SCHOOL!) all that’s running through his head is “A squared + B squared = C squared” and “the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell”.
The actual interview was the least interesting part of the trip, the real stuff happened when Levi passed by some art on display in the hallway and something caught his eye-
Those colours… that hair… that adorable smile..!
IT WAS HER! LEVI’S PRECIOUS RURI-CHAN IN ALL HER GLORY!
Levi immediately started fawning over the art class fanart and by sheer coincidence, one of the kids walking through the hallway happened to notice.
The kid asked MC if their… parent and or guardian liked anime. MC responded with “obviously.” Levi then asked the kid if they drew his adorable Ruri-chan. The kid said no, and that they drew the My Hero Academia fanart a few rows down.
Levi was absolutely floored that there were two anime fans in one class, then his entire world shattered when MC explained there was more anime art inside the art room and other classrooms.
H-hang on… did that mean that… a lot of people here… liked anime..?
Levi needed a while to process. No snacks on the way home…
Levi and MC were sat in the back of their Uber, Levi, the Avatar of Envy himself, was having his entire sense of reality warped. S-so much anime fanart… in a school of all places..! What did this mean for the future of anime?!
“Levi. Stop.” MC sighed. “If this were an anime, the camera angle would be doing that thing where it’s right on the bridge of your nose and dramatic music plays in the background.”
“S-so many kids in your class like a-anime huh..?” Levi stuttered, weakly trying to smile. “Must be nice..?”
“Oh, that’s just my class. The other classes and grades have their fans too.”
“Oh… really?”
“Levi,” MC stopped looking out the window and looked at the otaku that was having a full scale silent mental breakdown. “Anime isn’t even a niche interest anymore. It’s a pretty casual thing to watch now. At least a third of my class watches- Levi?”
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH! ANIME! A THIRD OF THE CLASS?! ANIME… HIS PRECIOUS ANIME… WAS BECOMING A NORMIE INTEREST! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
“Levi?” MC waved their hand in front of their spaced out demon’s face. “Leviiiii? Okay he’s dead.”
The Know it All (Satan)
Ah, a smart choice, MC. Satan would be glad to help further their education. He’ll do everything in his power to make sure that the human’s brain is fed all that sweet sweet knowledge.
Satan can’t dress himself normally, MC had to coax him into a suit jacket, but he still only wore one sleeve.
MC was coming along to the interviews whether they wanted to or not, it’s important to hear what they need to improve on from the teacher themselves after all.
The two arrived pretty early, so Satan asked MC for a tour of the school. It was pretty tame until they reached the library. Satan was horrified at the state of some of the books…
Their spines lined with duct tape… pages missing and torn… someone apparently used a taco as a book mark…
The first thing Satan does when it’s time for his interview is demand the teacher take better care of the library, even though they’re not the librarian. MC tries to explain this, but Satan is too distraught to listen to reason.
He enjoyed hearing about the course material, but he made it known if MC thinks the assignments are too easy that they need to be given more challenging work. THEIR BRAIN NEEDS TO BE STIMULATED DAMN IT.
It was up to MC to either agree with Satan and nod to the teacher, or make frantic eye contact with them to try and communicate “NO DON’T PLEASE”.
Similar to (ugh) Lucifer, as long as MC is doing their best, he’s happy for them.
…but if they are in any way in the running for valedictorian he is HELPING THEM WIN.
He decided to stop at a cafe or bookstore to let MC pick out a “congrats on surviving your pitiful school” present after the interviews.
MC gleefully perused the shelves of the bookstore, there were so many books too look at…
“I’ll buy you as many books as you’d like, MC, just,” Satan shuddered slightly. “Promise me you won’t treat them like those poor library books…”
MC put their hand over their heart. “I swear on the duct taped book spines that I will never treat a book like that.”
“Good… good…” Satan breathed a sigh of relief and went back to looking at his book about cats.
“Are you… reading a Warrior Cats book..?” MC asked tentatively.
“Yes, why?”
“Satan, put that back.”
“I Will Seduce the Teacher For the Sake of Your Grades, Don’t Worry.” (Asmodeus)
Oh MC dear! He’d be delighted to go! Just let him get ready~
Asmo may not be the best choice, but he was at least going to be the best dressed person at that conference. (And MC just had to come too so all the other parents could be jealous of how well coordinated their outfits are)
He teased MC a little by saying he was going to flirt with their teacher to make sure they passed the class, but he was just kidding! …but he made sure to ask if their teacher was cute, he needed to know!
While waiting for his turn, Asmo flirts with some of the single parents, if he doesn’t see a wedding ring, they’re fair game.
Once his time slot arrived, MC realized that Asmo is one of those “my child has done and will do nothing wrong ever” types. This may have ended up working in MC’s favour if they were a class nuisance.
If MC is doing very well in sports, clubs, grades, anything, Asmo is fawning over them and gushing to the teacher about how great, smart and adorable they are.
Asmo surprisingly does not exactly flirt with the teacher, he was just teasing MC after all. But um… if MC’s teacher just happens to be cute and young, he may turn up the charm, just a little. Enough to make the teacher giggle and make MC cover their face in embarrassment.
After the interviews Asmo will probably schedule a nice day out for the two of them, shopping, a movie, mani pedis, something fun!
The real weird stuff happens in the months after the interviews… if Asmo did lightly flirt with the teacher, MC gets quite a few questions about their guardian. Questions that ask if Asmo is single in not as many words…
Oh lord, MC’s teacher developed a crush on Asmo.
Nail painting night was supposed to be a fun occasion, but MC was hopping mad and embarrassed. Asmo didn’t seem to notice as he continued to paint the little human’s nails.
“And then I told Phenex to get lost. The nerve of that little monster, right MC?” When MC didn’t reply, Asmo looked up and tilted his head. “MC?”
MC’s angry face would have been much more threatening if they weren’t just so adorable, but it was getting the message across.
“MC..?”
“Asmo.” MC’s glare deepened. “My teacher wants to know if you’re single.”
Asmo blinked a few times, before he hit his tongue to keep from laughing. “Really now~. I knew they’d be madly in love with me-”
“WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIIIIIIIIIIIS?!”
Oh My Demon King is That a BAKE SALE?! (Beel)
Of course Beel said yes! He’d gladly go to MC’s parent teacher interview!
He even put on a nice outfit :D he ended up looking a bit like a secret serviceman guarding MC, the tiny president.
Beel stopped for McDonald’s on the way there, all the other kids were so jealous of MC when they stepped out of the car eating fries.
But a little something something caught Beel’s eye when he and MC walked into the school… was that a… bake sale?
MC quickly explained that the bake sale was fundraiser for their class trip that year and the snacks weren’t complimentary. He had to pay.
And pay Beel did. He cleared out the entire table. MC’s grade’s overnight trip was going to be decadent as hell. That was no longer a crowd funded thing, that trip was privately funded by a tall buff ginger secret service member and this tiny in comparison child.
Kids are incredibly blunt, just like Beel, so when a random kindergarten kid wandered over, looked up at Beel, and very knowingly said “you’re very tall”. Beel was like “yeah”. The kid then said “what’s it like being that tall?”
Beel’s response to this kid’s question was to pick them up and hold them for a few seconds before placing them back down. For just a few moments this kid knew what it like to be over 6’4. Of course, more kids swarmed in and asked to be picked up.
Sure it was cute, but Beel now has an army of kids ranging from kindergarteners to third graders.
Finally, the conference actually began. Beel snacked the entire time and dutifully listened to everything the teacher had to say.
After the interviews are over, he checks with MC to make sure everything the teacher said was true and that they weren’t lying. If all was well, the two made their exit.
They stopped at Wendy’s on the way home.
“I’m so full…” MC groaned, Beel held up a massive cookie.
“So I can eat this?”
“No. Gimme that.” MC took a very defeated bite out of it. “My stomach says no but my mouth says yes…”
“I don’t want you to get a stomachache, MC,” Beel said worriedly. “No more snacks.”
“It’s a little late for that. It’s past nine and I’m still eating, there’s no way I’m getting to sleep at a reasonable hour.”
“Oh…” Beel mumbled. “I may have not completely thought this through.”
“*Snore* Huh? Wha? MC’s Grades? Uh… Fuck…” (Belphie)
MC must be failing a class or something because why on earth would they pick Belphie otherwise.
They ask him to go while he’s delirious from just waking up from a nap, he sort of half nods and mumbles some gibberish before going back to sleep.
MC had to basically carry his ass to the school. Belphie drooled all over them in the waiting room, and when it was their time to go into the interview, Belphie had to be manually put into the chair and slapped awake.
He barely listens, he just sits and nods along with whatever the teacher is saying. The teacher could say MC brought an alligator to school and he’d just go “uh huh…” “mmmph… yep…” “really now?” then yawn.
The only thing that could possibly get Belphie to be interested is if MC is studying space. If they are, than boy howdy is Belphie suddenly interested in their education.
Other than that? *snore*
If MC is in fact failing or doing poorly, MC’s teacher asks to see another one of MC’s guardians at a later date. Their plan failed miserably.
MC drags Belphie out of the school and yells at him for not helping them. Belphie, still sleep delirious, tries to press the snooze button. MC does not have a snooze button.
“Belphie!” MC shouted, shaking the Avatar of Sloth awake. The House of Lamentation’s resident bastard was somehow sleeping standing up outside. “HOW COULD YOU?!”
“Eh?” Belphie half-snorted and looked around confused. “What’d I do? Where are we?”
“At my school! You said that you’d go to my parent teacher interviews!”
“…MC I don’t think I’d pass well for you.”
“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GO AS MY GUARDIAN!”
“Sheesh,” Belphie murmured while he rubbed the remaining sleep from his eyes. “You humans are so noisy.”
MC looked up at their dearest demon friend, and gave him their best glare. “I’m going to take all your fancy temperature changing pillows and switch them with normal pillows you traitorous bastard.”
#obey me#obey me!#obey me! shall we date?#obey me shall we date#obey me headcanons#obey me! headcanons#Obey me Lucifer#Obey me! Lucifer#OM! Lucifer#Obey me Mammon#Obey me! Mammon#om! Mammon#Obey me Leviathan#Obey me! Leviathan#om! Leviathan#Obey me Satan#Obey me! Satan#OM! Satan#Obey me Asmodeus#Obey me! Asmodeus#Om! Asmodeus#Obey me Beelzebub#Obey me! Beelzebub#Om! Beelzebub#Obey me Belphegor#Obey me! Belphegor#Om! Belphegor#Obey me MC#Obey me! MC
803 notes
·
View notes
Text
“....The role of The Bard was played by up-and-coming actor William Shakespeare!”
Someone in the crowd throws a tomato and it strikes Will right in his perfectly sculpted nose.
Beside him on stage, Nick glances over and shrugs, smiling a little sadly. His tired eyes say, Looks like we’re having tomato soup tonight.
And it sorta makes everything okay.
#excerpt from my unentitled precanon sr fic#and i uhhh love it a lot so um here take it#wow!! i love this so much!! i am so happy!!#(vaguely remembers having a very deep and dark mental breakdown like literally 30min/1hr ago)#uh yes so happy!!#my moods work like that a lot haha#but um yes yes yes i love this#still have not a title for it#i am kinda thinkin of stealing a line from literal shakespeare#but like that would mean i'd have to do research into that man's writing which is a fate worse than death#and i was also thinking of maybe doing a quote from the fic as a title - but i dont have one yet#and then there's like one from a song maybe but i dont want to do that bc it's cliche and weird#so like any suggestions haha??#someone who likes shakespeare - is there any good quotes about nostalgia / the good ol days / an evolution (of a person and/or relationship)#also sorry to spam with sr which no one cares about but i care about it so lmao
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
I can’t sleep so I’m going to talk about the term ‘favorite’ historically and why it’s making me lose my mind for merthur (and because I have to link anything I read or watch to them).
Merlin was Arthur’s favorite. There’s no debate really about it and it’s very much canon, because historically, and quoting Wikipedia, “the feelings of the monarch for the favourite ran the gamut from simple faith in the favourite's abilities to various degrees of emotional affection and dependence, and sometimes even encompassed sexual infatuation,” which excluding the last part and even if you don’t ship merthur romantically, it’s Arthur and Merlin’s relationship explained in a sentence.
Now, hear me out, everyone in Camelot must’ve realized Merlin was Arthur’s favorite at some point. I think it must’ve been common knowledge in s5. So no problem there really, but what about Merlin? He didn’t grow up in Camelot, let alone in court. Uther never had a favorite anything as far as I know, and so it must’ve went over his head completely when he’d hear people describe him as Arthur’s favorite, because he’s Arthur’s favorite what? do they mean favourite servant? favourite friend? Being Merlin, he must’ve had no idea of the political or social ramifications of the title at all and thought it was just something he was called because he was close to Arthur.
I’ve heard people in the fandom talk about visiting people to Camelot being puzzled about Merlin’s station or role, but imagine them being told he was the king’s favourite just off the bat. Merlin doesn’t think much of it, but favourites have historically been envied and loathed by nobility, especially those of higher station than the favorite, because a lot of favourites have historically been from humble or minor backgrounds and have been elevated by royal favour. Many favorites have been assassinated, even had been executed or forced to retire by monarchs due to political pressure. Imagine how Merlin who probably never wanted a higher position in Arthur’s court embracing the title favorite because yes, Arthur is his favourite too, so what if he’s called Arthur’s favourite? and having double the attention on him because of that, because once you’ve been named favourite, there’s no going back.
But also, Arthur’s reaction hearing people call Merlin his favorite, like he has never thought about it before. Merlin? I mean yeah, he accepted that Merlin is his best friend for life and the best advisor he’d ever have, but his favourite? He’s never given Merlin land or money, but that’s because the idiot wouldn’t accept them. Why would people assume he was Arthur’s favourite? Arthur would have a literal mental breakdown for about a week and then come to the conclusion that he didn’t really care.
That’s at least until Merlin barges into his chambers one day, face red and panting from running up the stairs after someone finally explained to him what being a king’s favourite actually means and Merlin just being horrified because he wasn’t a bootlicker and because he was going to kill Arthur and then everyone’ll see who’s really the clotpole’s favourite, but then Arthur himself starts blushing and avoiding Merlin’s eyes and says he had nothing to do with it, that people assumed and he never corrected them because well, you are my favourite, aren’t you?
and now it’s Merlin who’s speechless, because yes, he was, wasn’t he? Arthur was his favourite as well, so what’s changed?
and I have no idea where I’m going with this but Merlin as Arthur’s favorite owns my entire heart 🥺
things I read about favorites that I love and have reminded me of merthur:
favorites have been compared to mushrooms because they would spring up suddenly overnight (and now I’m imagining Merlin hearing people calling him a mushroom and just losing his mind because what the hell arthur).
“Like favourites/ Made proud by Princes" Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing.
“One who stands unduly high in the favour of a prince,” the definition of a favourite according to the Oxford English Dictionary.
#i'm just losing my mind#so what's new#also I spelt favorite both american and british way haphazardly trhoughout this#lmao#it's because english is not my first language and rules don't control me#okay that escaladed quickly#anyway#hello merlin as arthur's favourite will make e lose my mind :)#bye#merthur
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Does Macbeth Suffer from Psychosis?
In Act III, Scene IV, Macbeth is hosting a feast when he has a vision of the ghost of Banquo, whom he had hired people to murder. Seeing the ghost, Macbeth begins to have a mental breakdown - as might be expected of one who sees a ghost. But Macbeth, shouting at the ghost, an empty seat, starts talking about how it cannot prove that he did anything, and that it should stop shaking “gory locks” at him.
His guests are understandably confused and are worried that he is not well, at which point Lady Macbeth says something interesting: “My lord is often thus / And hath been from his youth: pray you, keep seat; / The fit is momentary; upon a thought / he will be well again” (57-60a). She claims that he’s had a condition since he was a child, and that when he slips into these kinds of fits it is best to “regard him not.” And when I read it, I thought that was a clever lie.
But then Lady Macbeth says something more interesting in private with her husband: “This [fit] is the very painting of your fear: / This is the air-drawn dagger which, you said, / Led you to Duncan. O these flaws and starts [Dover Thrift Gloss: storms of passion]” (64-66). Here she is referencing another vision Macbeth had of a dagger floating in mid-air and dripping with blood, a vision from Act II Scene I. Are these “flaws and starts,” these “storms of passion,” actually something that have been going on since his childhood?
Is it possible that the vision of the dagger, that “dagger of the mind” is, in fact, “proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain” (II.I.38-39)? This whole time I had assumed that those lines were an attempt to rationalize what was a real preternatural phenomenon; but what if Shakespeare, living in a time where the Four Humors theory was still prevalent, a theory which posited an excessively “hot” temperament could cause delirium (Holly Kelsey, 2016), really did mean that line to imply that Macbeth has a history of hallucinatory mental illness?
I had to look back at the ghost situation after that; Macbeth finds out that Banquo is dead (III.IV.16) more than thirty lines before he sees the ghost (49). Is the ghost real, then? A stronger (but not invincible) argument could have been made that, yes, the ghost was real if Macbeth had seen it before confirmation of Banquo’s death was made. But since Macbeth knows Banquo is dead, it may possibly just be Macbeth’s own mind projecting?
I don’t think the reader can doubt that there is a preternatural element going on in the story; the witches have at least one scene in which they don’t interact with any other characters, after all (III.V). But how much of what is going on actually preternatural, and how much of it is the result of an unreliable mind? And is this a question Shakespeare was intending the audience to ask themselves when he wrote it?
25 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi! Hoping you're have a good weekend. I wonder if I could ask you for some recs for musicals I can watch (bootlegged or otherwise)? You're like the musical theater expert of my mutuals so I figured I would ask. For reference I've seen three musicals, Wicked, Into the Woods, and Hamilton. Into the Woods was my fave but I loved them all! Take care and stay safe if it's super hot where you are!
the way I have to restrain myself from just listing Every show I've ever seen kshddhjf
okay so first off. my personal favorites (in no particular order): Mamma Mia (jukebox musical more grounded in reality but it's got the glitz and glam and strong female relationships that you probably dig from wicked), Rent (angry and emotional rock-opera about starving artists during an epidemic) American Psycho (based on the book/movie. violent but it was literally one of the best professional performances I've ever seen. lots of fun 80s synth in the music), Next To Normal (about mental health struggles and the effect they have on a family), In The Heights (4th of July weekend for a family as they go through A Lot, LMM wrote it and it, the music is gorgeous and it has more of a plot than hamilton so I tend to like it more lol), Hair (hippies during the vietnam war, essentially changed the face of musicals, fun and funky 60s rock music), Billy Elliot (based on a movie, INSANE dancing, takes place during the miner strike in England in the 80s, mixes classical ballet music with angry protest and some 80s vibes and it's SO GOOD lol), Hedwig and the Angry Inch (concert-set musical about a failing 80s glam rock singer essentially having a breakdown on stage for an hour until they realize they've been emotionally abusing their transgender wife who is the backup vocalist and let's her take over the final performance) Spring Awakening (a play about coming of age and the importance of sex education written in 1891, which was then banned over a hundred times until like 2007 when someone decided to tweak it a little and add some rock music lmfao), The Lightning Thief! (the first percy jackson book lmao it's cheesy but it's SO good!!!), Kinky Boots (guy inherits a failing shoe making factory and decides to market specifically to drag performers, a lot of belting and high energy songs, overall a fun and positive show), Six (the six wives of henry the 8th have risen from the dead to put on a pop concert), Beetlejuice (based on the movie/cartoon and it's so Fun omg)
shows that are kinda Big Popular with theater people that you'd probably like bc frankly most people do lmfao: Dear Evan Hansen, Be More Chill, Heathers, Chicago, Les Miserable, Hairspray, Phantom of the Opera, Book of Mormon, West Side Story, Cabaret, Hadestown, Waitress, Falsettos, Legally Blonde, The Last Five Years
shows I think are severely underrated: Jekyll and Hyde (based on the story but LISTEN the ballad 'In His Eyes' haunts my every waking move), 13 (extremely cheesy story about a boy moving right before his 13th birthday, every high school Ever has put it on so people tend to find it cringy but I'm here to say it's genuinely funny), Drowsy Chaperone (an old man recounts the plot of his favorite show and it's just literally insane and chaotic it's SO funny), Something Rotten (a play write who sees himself as William Shakespeare's biggest rival sets out to outdo the bard by creating the world's first musical. SO funny and creative and I truly think shakespeare would have wanted this show lmao), Dogfight (a soldier tricks a girl he thinks is ugly to coming to a party with him but then he realizes he sucks and falls in love with her, was NOT expecting to like it as much as a I did but it's sweet???), 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee (interactive comedy that gets so chaotic)
I'm pretty sure these all have bootlegs (or slime tutorials lmfao) on youtube!!! hope YOU have a good day! :)
82 notes
·
View notes
Text
the foxes as things people have done in my school: a thread 🧵
Neil: traveled three states in the span of a week
Renee: dyed her hair twice!! in the span of three days
Nicky: thinks he’s the happy bright soul but was later told he was the moody I want to k1ll my$31f one
Kevin and Seth: got in a fight in the boys bathroom
Allison: brought three juls to school and got suspended before stepping a foot inside the building
Andrew: slept for two class periods (we only had three days to complete the test) when he should’ve been doing the standardized test and got a pass plus on both language arts and math
Aaron (let’s pretend this was him in 7th grade): took the senior SAT test and got 1570 (1600 is the perfect score btw)
Also Aaron: had a mental breakdown over a pltw grade in the middle of math class when he got a C but confronted the teacher and later found out he forgot to check the box that said he was done with the assignment which was why the teacher didn’t grade it
Seth: cried (like full on “i am losing my shit kind of thing,, pretty sure it was tears of frustration) over the most basic pre algebra formula and the teacher had to sit down and explain for the full class period about negatives and positives in front of a number and how to solve it with an x=…he still didn’t get it
Renee: spat at a whyte boy for harassing her friend in the hallway and proceeded to slam him in the locker
Neil: manipulated the teacher so that Renee wouldn’t get in trouble (spoiler alert Renee was free of all charges)
Kevin: got caught almost hitting Andrew midair with his hand centimeters away from Andrew’s face (it was in like a joking playful matter “ur annoying me so I’m going to pretend to hit u” sort of thing)
Matt: sings off key in gym class and knows it but will not shut his mouth
Kevin: went on a full rant in social studies class about how historians fucked up Achilles’ story and reducing it to a great hero story when the whole point of it was to show that Achilles was still human at the end of the day despite his godly powers
Andrew: proceeded to bully someone for knowing “romeo and juliet” by shakespeare when they grew up in America and called them a “disgrace to the nonexistent live laugh lovers culture”
Andrew: never fucking shuts up about how “Merchant of Venice” is one of the best shakespearean play
Neil: stormed off the classroom and banged the door which caused enough commotion for teachers in surrounding area to check up on the team
Neil: ran a mile in four minutes
Aaron: wrote a hate speech about whyte male gays forgetting for a moment that he too is a gay male who so happens to be whyte (triple homicide)
Andrew: listed all the statistics on why men are the problem in the middle of the hallway DURING passing period because he overheard a random student saying women have it easier
Renee: absolutely dominated all the athletic guys in gym class on arm wrestling,, did not let them live it down
Kevin: knows every country names (and where they are located) and recites them under one minute
Neil: talks about Andrew 24/7 on the bus and got a slushy that was bought from the Speedway store near the school thrown at him
Aaron: memorized the periodic table and everything about Chemistry
#these all happened in the times I was in middle school#most of these r from when I was in 6th grade#public schools be wildin#cw:mentioned of suicidal thoughts#aftg#all for the game#the foxhole court#andrew minyard#tfc#kevin day#neil josten#aaron minyard#allison reynolds#matt boyd#andreil#renee walker#dan wilds#nicky hemmick
78 notes
·
View notes
Note
Top 5 live or recorded Shakespeare productions/adaptations you loved
1) RSC Richard II , 2013 Dir. Gregory Doran feat. David Tennant as Richard II. Anyone suprised? :P
2) RSC Henry IV, 2016 Dir. Greg Doran feat. the late, great, Anthony Sher as Falstaff and Jasper Britton as King Henry IV (shout out to Jasper Britton's EPIC swoon in part 2. I'm counting the two plays as one for cheating purposes :p)
3) RSC Measure for Measure, 2019 (?), feat Anthony Byrne as the Duke...shoutout to the brilliant, brilliant opening sequence that strongly implies that the events of the play are kicked off by the Duke having a mental breakdown which...honestly explains a lot. (Or, as I like to call it, the Vienesse Waltz of Breaking Mirrors...though no actuall mirrors are broken)
4)RSC King John , 2020. dir can't remember , feat. can't remember but the lady who played King John was amazing. The last play I went to see before lockdown...the memory of that foodfight still makes me smile.
5) Richard III, can't remember when, dir. can't remember, and feat can't remember. I saw it at Oxford and it was so fucking intense. it opened with the murder of Henry VI and ghost!Henry came to collect all the souls of Richard's victims and it was just...amazing.
honourable mentions to:
Much Ado About Nothing, dir Christopher Luscombe 20...12? 14? time is fake and nothing is real, feat. Edward (?) Bennet getting fried by christmas tree lights. Also Much Ado About Nothing feat Tate and Tennant but that gets enough love on this website.
Edward II , dir. can't remember, 2019. at the Sam Wanamaker Theatre. Not Shakespeare but I saw it twice and I still regret not going to see it a third time. I wish they recorded it. I loved it so much. I would watch it all the time if I could and I feel like the team at the Globe deserve some recognition seeing as how I've completely ignored them in favour of the RSC.
King Lear feat. Sir Ian Mckellan is not included in the list by virtue of the fact that was less "Top" and more....probably the closest I've come to having a religious experience tbh.
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
highlights of the original lear source
answering that question about cordelia yesterday made me realize i’d never read the original source for king lear, the story of leir of britain from geoffrey of monmouth’s history of the kings of britain. if you’re not familiar, it’s a version of most of the lear family plot but without any of the gloucester family plot, and also no kent and no fool. please enjoy some original lear lore:
- instead of regan and goneril we have regau and...gonorilla. yeah i think we can all thank shakespeare for changing that
- none of the sisters are married at the start of the story and in addition to giving goneril and regan part of his kingdom lear also lets them marry any husband of their choosing. i guess goneril's terrible marriage is integral to the edmund plot that shakespeare added but...inch resting
- also the main contrast between goneril and regan's speeches is that goneril says she loves lear more than herself and regan says she loves him more than anyone else. i don't even know but i feel like you could do something with that
- from cordelia's speech: "look how much you have, so, much is your value, and so much do i love you" HHHHHHHHHHH it's REALLY about love being equated with power huh
- lear decides to marry cordelia to "some foreigner" (lol) and france (or rather, aganippus king of the franks) actually begins courting her after she's already been disowned and marries her because he loves her so much
- i guess the whole splitting of the kingdom occurs when lear is still doing pretty well because it's only "a long time after this" that he's "infirm through age." he also initially only gives up half his kingdom and rules the rest "with great power and glory" until albany and cornwall do an insurrection so...okay. definitely very different vibes
- albany's canon name is maglaunus and cornwall's canon name is henuinus. fic writers look no further <3
- also yeah, albany and cornwall do a full insurrection and deprive lear of all his power but somehow he doesn't get mad until goneril and regan start reducing his number of attendants. he also doesn't have a mental breakdown in a storm about this though, he just stays with goneril with only one attendant for a bit before deciding to go stay with cordelia instead
- actually he DOES have a mental breakdown but it's because he's on the ship to gaul and only gets the third nicest place of the lords travelling with him. shakespeare thank you for changing this.
- i'm just picturing lear all "my present calamity [...] has exposed me to the derision of those who were formerly prostrate at my feet" and the duke next to him on the ship is like "okay fine we can swap bunks"
- lear also thinks that cordelia is mostly going to be mad at him for giving her a worse husband than her sisters. i'm still laughing about "some foreigner"
- okay by the time lear arrives he's described as "a father who suffered both hunger and nakedness" so i guess that's where shakespeare gets this but. again. he was just on a ship. he had the third nicest accomodations on the ship was he naked there or ??
- i'm guessing some people already know this but lear gets put on the throne of gaul and then cordelia's forces recapture britain and lear gets to rule britain for three more years before he dies. i guess good for him
- (suicide tw) but! it's actually not happy ending lear like i thought because goneril and regan's sons are mad that there's a woman on the throne so they go to war with cordelia and capture her, and she actually does kill herself from the grief of losing the kingdom. boys come on i know your girlboss mothers did not raise you like this.
- also goneril's son is named margan and regan's son is named cunedagius. which. um
- then goneril's son eventually gets mad because he thinks the whole kingdom is his birthright so he goes to war with regan's son, loses, and gets killed. and regan's son cunedagius and then her grandson rivallo get to rule britain. only true fans know the real lear ending
#king lear#shakespeare#i had a lot of fun reading this i need to do this with more plays#gonna liveblog the amleth story one of these days#i accept all of this as fully canon now /j#mine#suicide //
60 notes
·
View notes
Text
welcommee back to my review and ranking of my forever slowly dying hyperfixation, ive left a link on the top to the previous post incase this is your first time seeing this, but anyhooo onto the first half of season 3 under da cut >:D
forced family fun part 1
the hecks go camping, hijinks ensue while also being partly a flashback episode. i enjoy brick and mike bonding while fishing, it's cute. even ray romano makes an appearance at the end and almost entirely throughout the next part. also i found an error with the subtitles, when brick and mike go fishing, brick says:
"my pole is all bendy."
but the subtitles put it as:
"m pole is all bendy."
forced family fun part 2
i love how they make jokes of nicky, ray romano, and frankie, patricia heaton, cuz they were also on everybody loves raymond together, also playing as a married couple with two sons and one daughter. when i first watched this though i was very confused why this nicky dude was in it but now since im cultured, aka watched 2 seasons of everybody loves raymond, i understand. i love how axl angrily trots off to his tent, it's hilarious. i kinda love nicky, he's a funnyman, also ive noticed how many depressing characters are in this show like they all got problems. good episode, above the first half.
hecking order
after countless annoyances by sue, axl decides to get his revenge by suggesting sue should try out for swimming which is on the other side of their campus, while brick has issues with his new teacher even though his teacher is really cool. the ending was very sweet, good episode, above forced family fun part 2. off topic but i just want to note while in writing this one of my besties is explaining chuck e cheese lore to me.
"may i be excused to go step in front of a moving train?"
"it's a family dinner, stuff with the rest of us."
major changes
after frankie accidentally eats axl's toenails while trying to watch wheel of fortune, frankie leaves the hecks, never to be seen again. this episode foreshadows pam staggs, who we seem later in... season 9. see? this is how you do a somewhat funny mental breakdown, especially when it shows frankie in the car, even more of a reason to hate the royal wedding. good episode, above forced family fun part 2.
the test
brick gets harassed by a bully, sue tries out to be a cheerleader, and axl attempts to do his psats. brick "getting out" of the trash is hilarious. i love how they forshadow really weird things like axl's dragon dream being his collage's mascot later. brick is such a smart kid, i love when he explains why bullies bully and how mike starts actually thinking about it, he's a smartass. good episode, above hecking order.
"oh, the bully might be winning right now, but my time will come. [whispering] time will come."
bad choices
axl fakes being sick so he doesn't have to do a test, sue and brad start a play and brick quotes shakespeare. my bobby apears for a bit to suggest frankie to hickory arms, a place he also lives in... with his mom, and is it only me or does his outfit in this episode reminds me a lot of shaggy? frankie being impressed by the most basic of shit at hickory arms is funny but also kinda depressing. i adore the don't text and drive song from sue and brad, it's always amazing even after countless rewatches. i love this episode, it's so good, the top of the list.
"that's democracy in action, jackson!"
halloween 2
sue grows up for a halloween party, brick and frankie got trick-or-treating with his support group, while axl, sean and darrin also go trick-or-treating for a money scam. i adore the ax-men in this episode, they're literally ed, edd n eddy with their level of scams. i also really love the scenes with brick's support group, it's fun as hell. i absolutely love how mike still isn't ready for sue to grow up, and tries to tell her how he feels but fails constantly. another really great halloween episode, top of the list.
heck's best thing
a recuiter for east Indiana state comes to interview axl while sue and brick accidentally gets aunt edie's phone. this weird obsession sue and brick get over this one jesus lighter is humorous. also bob randomly apears again for frankie to vent to while he's trying to put something up for ehlert which just shows how smol he is, i love my short boy. good episode, above hecking order.
"what would jesus lighter say?"
the play
mike grounds axl for being an idiot, brick and rusty bond after rusty stood him up, while frankie, sue and bob try out for a wizard of oz play. i adore all scenes at the play, maybe only because of bob but still- i love the scene where rusty just lets brick drive his automobile, dude, i love rusty, he's absolutely hilarious. great episode, above the test.
"dad let us drive, we turned out okay."
"you wanna rephrase that?"
"okay, uh, dad let we drive, us turned out okay."
thanksgiving 3
the hecks stay over to frankie's family side's place for thanksgiving. axl basically faceplants when it comes to flirting with the registrar girl and it's hilarious, i love it, especially when mike tries to teach axl how to flirt only to look like such a creep. i don't personally like the scene with frankie and janet fighting, it's a bit too realistic for my taste but other than that, good episode, below major changes.
a christmas gift
after frankie sends out an drunken invitation, the hecks with a bunch of other random people celebrate christmas eve while brick becomes an atheist after finally reading the bible and sue tries to stop him. i really really enjoy all the scenes with reverend timtom, he's so unbelievably cool. i absolutely love loVE LOVE all the scenes with axl and bob, how bob processes the fact that axl calls him bro once and then thinks that they're besties, i love him so much, i love him so so unbelievably much, i would say more but then this would turn into a fictional other gushing post instead of a somewhat in depth ranking post. great episode, above the play.
"[screams quietly]"
year of the hecks
for the new year frankie suggests that everyone should make a new year resolution for each other. i love brad becoming a wrestler, im not even surprised because wrestling is probably the most gayest sport i can imagine, that's not an insult. also in this the wrestlerettes become a thing, i love how they just completely block the view of the actual wrestling. mike trying to smile reminds me of those "cursed images" of weird cats smiling. rereading this i realize how much of a boomer i sounded, i am 15 im not out of touch yet- i love ashley wyman, she's a phineas and ferb stan. axl handing in his late homework thingy and being asked to spell "there" is very hilarious. i absolutely love when frankie and brick hang out at ehlert motors and actually start to bond, it's very nice even if frankie accidentally leaves him at work. another really great episode, above the play.
ranks so far
this season so far has been good, not much else to say, just hopefully the stream will keep on going for this like it has done for the past two.
12. forced family fun part 1
11. forced family fun part 2
10. thanksgiving 3
9. major changes
8. hecking order
7. heck's best thing
6. the test
5. the play
4. year of the hecks
3. a christmas gift
2. bad choices
1. halloween 2
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
if love be rough with you - pt.1 (pypfc)
In which you and Harry are professors at a prestigious Art and Language university but can’t stand each other. Well, you can’t stand him.
disclaimer: I fucked up and won’t finish the thing in time for the pick your poison fic challenge (thank you and I’m sorry to @for-fucks-sake-h @oh-honey-styles @andwhenshesays) so I’ll split it into two parts. Once I post the second one, I’ll link it down here.
warnings: so far, so good. there’s gonna be fucking in the next one, though.
word-count: about 4,000 words
If love be rough with you, be rough with love.
Prick love for pricking, and you beat love down.
(Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare)
Your copy of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet fell to the wooden floor of classroom 103 with a dull thud. It was not your favorite play by any means, but teachers didn’t get much of a choice when it came to the syllabus at Markham. Art and Language students there had been learning the same things for generations, walking through ancient hallways with the pretentiousness of people who know they’re special because of more than just daddy’s money.
Daddy’s money was still a big part of it, though. The fact you didn’t have it made it very obvious that, despite your mid-20s looking face, you were staff and not a student. Which, you said to yourself back when you started teaching at Markham, was fine. You made a mantra out of it in the beginning: It’s fine. I’m fine. When older professors and students didn’t take you seriously, when you were lonely, when the stone walls made you feel claustrophobia instead of wonder, when you had to begin working with Drama students instead of sticking to your comfort-zone in the Literature department. It’s fine. I’m fine. Three years later, it was true; you fit right in. You had learned to focus solely on the bright side of the school and the role you had to play, dressing and speaking and teaching like the classy and stone-faced intellectual you always wanted to be. With all your weaknesses safely tucked away, you felt like you probably were a better actress than most of your students.
Considering you were 20 minutes ahead of schedule and no one was ever this early for class, bending over in your pencil skirt to pick Romeo and Juliet up didn’t seem like a big deal. Until you heard the whistling.
“All this for me?”
You took your time standing up, resisting the urge to roll your eyes.
“Don’t be gross,” you laid the book back on your desk, crossing your arms as you stared at the man by the door. “Professor Styles.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he flashed you a dry smile, but his green eyes showed amusement. “Darling.”
The eye-roll couldn’t be held back any longer. “Piss off.”
No need to say you weren’t a classy and stone-faced intellectual when it came to Harry Styles.
“Can’t piss off from my own classroom, can I?”
Seemingly not minding your frown, he walked into the room holding a worn leather case for what you could guess was an acoustic guitar. If he weren’t dressed in his usual expensive and obnoxious clothes, you’d be able to mistake him for a very handsome hobo.
“No, but you can piss off from mine,” you pointed to the metal numbers on the door. “We’re in 103, Styles. I have it for the next three hours.”
“Funny,” he said before laying his guitar on the desk. It pushed your book away until you had to grab it so it wouldn’t, once again, fall to the ground. “Because my schedule says that I have it for the next three hours.”
“Indeed,” Romeo and Juliet falls on leather harshly, the sound pretty similar to the one it made while hitting the floor. “Hilarious.”
The rumbling of what could only be a herd of students began before Harry could come up with any clever remarks, making his head turn to the door expectantly. His pearl necklace accompanied his movement, and you tried not to stare too hard at the expanse of his neck or imagine what it would look like with a couple of bruises under those pearls.
You snapped out of whatever that thought was before there was any need to overthink it. Over your colleague’s shoulder, you could see students, not all of them yours, entering the room. If it wasn’t clear before that there had been a mistake, it was now; Drama and Music students looked at each other suspiciously, whispering to their classmates like they were in primary school instead of university.
“Professor?” someone called. Both you and Harry turned to the desks arranged in a circle, all of them occupied. One of his students, standing on the corner, moved uncomfortably under your glare before speaking again: “Where should we seat? Is this a joint lesson or something?”
A joint lesson? You cringed at the idea. “No,” you said harshly. “There’s been a misunderstanding.”
“Yeah,” Harry agreed, his voice breezy when compared to yours. “We’ll sort it out, guys. Give us a few minutes.”
He made the two of you sound like a team, which was outrageous. The collar of your sleeveless turtleneck was, all of a sudden, way too tight.
“You look constipated,” he muttered under his breath so only you could hear him. “Let’s go outside.”
“What for?” But you were already following him to the hallway. “Look, just get another classroom.”
“Why don’t you, if it’s that simple?” Harry asked while you closed the door behind you.
“Because it’s a good classroom, the best in the building!”
“Is this how you plan on making me give it up?” He raised an eyebrow, leaning on the stone wall like he didn’t have a care in the world. He probably didn’t.
“Harry,” you sighed. Your hand went to the tiny gold cross in your neck, nervously messing with it. You knew you were about to start pacing like a madwoman. “You could play that guitar anywhere on campus. Just let me have the damn room, alright?”
“Do you think that’s all my lessons are?” He sounded upset.
A brief moment of guilt didn’t stop you from snapping at him. “Do you think I care?”
“No, I don’t,” Even though his voice remained calm, Harry straightened up. “I would never have such high expectations for you, darling.”
You looked at him with a blank stare. Those green eyes without a hint of malice, the soft brown curls of his hair, the delicate pearls over a pastel blue sweater that had a fucking baby chick on it; seeing him, it was hard to believe he could be mean enough to hurt you. But he had, so you went with the most mature and eloquent answer you could muster: “Whatever,” mumbled under your breath.
Harry sighed and rolled his eyes. “Let’s just go to the administration and get this shit over with.”
His tone, finally bordering on annoyed, gave you some satisfaction. Maybe you two had more in common than you thought.
—
Things between you and Harry hadn’t always been this hard. Back in university, among mutual friends and copious amounts of alcohol, he had been nicer. So had you. But Markham made the differences that seemed meaningless at 19 years old feel like deal breakers for any sort of healthy work relationship; his laid backness, so charming all those years ago, drove you insane now. He was a brilliant musician, of course, but was that really all it took? While you searched for the perfect balance between serious faculty member, approachable but slightly intimidating mentor, cultured academic, reliable friend and well-rounded human being, Harry simply seemed to always be a little late for everything that didn’t involve robbing you of your preferred classroom. Also, he flirted way too much, dressed like a sexy grandmother and never submitted grades when he was supposed to.
“Hey,” he said, then called your name softly. “I think that’s enough.”
For a second, you thought he meant enough reasons to dislike him. Then you looked down at your overflowing cup of water and the puddle forming on the teacher’s lounge counter.
“Fuck,” you hissed, putting the glass jar back in its place.
“That sounds familiar,” Harry sipped his coffee like he hadn’t just said that in a room filled with ancient Markham professors.
You were torn between giving him a death glare or ignoring him altogether, so you just settled for a death glare directed at no one in particular while you wiped your wet hand on the side of your black skirt.
“Professors,” greeted one of the Plastic Arts teachers, a sweet-looking old lady. She walked up to the counter so she could pour her coffee, standing between you and Harry in the process. “I take it the 103 debacle hasn’t gone smoothly.”
“Yeah, Mrs. Thomas,” Harry said, a playful smile suddenly on his lips. “Someone here doesn’t know when to give up.”
“Don’t talk about yourself in the third person, Professor Styles. It’s not cute.”
Mrs. Thomas laughed like the two of you were performing a stand-up comedy show. “God, you two are adorable.”
You frowned while she walked away, and even though Harry’s smile stayed plastered on his face, you could see the furrow between his brows. “Adorable?” he asked, voice low. “You?”
“Piss off,” you said for the second time that day.
The 103 debacle, as your elder colleague so eloquently put, hadn’t gone smoothly. At all. Administration admitted to making a mistake and offered, oh so kindly, to relocate one of you to an empty classroom upstairs. Both Harry and you just stood there, looking at each other as if saying “Well, there you go” and waiting for the other to eagerly take room 214. Dark, humid, cold and small 214. After a couple of minutes of painfully awkward silence, the secretary responsible for room assignment suggested a sort of alternation: since the conflicting lessons were taught twice a week, Harry could get 103 on Mondays and you could have it on Thursdays. Neither of you liked the idea, but no amount of “But Sophie…” would change her mind once she came up with a supposedly perfect solution.
“She’s only saying that because she hasn’t seen your eye twitching while you try to refrain from having a mental breakdown over a classroom,” he said, ignoring the fact you had just told him off. Harry leaned in, annoying smirk on his lips, so only you would hear him when he said: “You can be adorable when you’re whining for more, though.”
He was too close, and you could smell the cologne on the collar of the shirt he wore under his sweater. It was vanilla, sweet and strong like he had been before he turned out to be the kind of guy who insulted you and bragged about having fucked you, all in the same breath.
“Classy, Styles,” you drank the rest of your water in one gulp so you could get rid of the cup and put some distance between the two of you. He just smelled too good. “You shouldn’t be so quick to make fun of my eye twitch, though. I wasn’t the one using “the humidity in 214 is bad for my hair” as an argument.”
“I hate that room,” Harry muttered as you walked away.
Well, that made two of you.
—
“So here’s what we’re going to do,” you announced to your students. Sunshine flooded the room, casting light on their focused expressions. “You’re going to go through act one again and select a snippet of text so that we can discuss it, and you have to make it so your point —” A determined knock on the door interrupted you. Before you could say anything at all, about a dozen people entered room 103 as if it were expected from them to do so. Strangely, it took you a second too long to realize where you knew most of those faces from: three days ago, they were among your own students as they waited for their professor. One by one, they sat in rows on the floor just like they would in actual desks. None of them made a sound. “Make it so your point about the chosen quote is character-driven,” you continued, choosing to simply not acknowledge any disturbance for a moment.
Still, there were twelve too many sets of eyes looking up at you. It was unsettling. For the next few minutes, there was a silent agreement between you and the Drama students; the lesson proceeded as they exchanged puzzled looks while pretending to skim the first act of Romeo and Juliet and you anxiously played with your cross necklace. What kind of sick mind game was Harry trying to play here? You wish you knew what reaction he was expecting, only so you could deliver the exact opposite of it.
“You have ten more minutes,” you said, reminding your students. A few of them nodded as they took notes, but the people sitting on the floor remained quiet and still, eyes on you. “What do you want?” you blurted out.
“What do you mean?” a girl asked, and you could tell they were expecting you to continue pretending they weren’t there until the lesson was over. Bingo.
“I mean, what is your goal? Did your professor send you here just to spite me? Is he wasting your time as well as mine? Or are you supposed to learn something by attending my class without my previous consent?”
By then, your own students had dropped their books and were waiting for one of the Music kids to speak up.
“Today’s lesson is about civil disobedience and other forms of rebellion and how they relate to the cultural and/or artistic aspects of music,” the same girl said. You couldn’t help but admire the way she took the lead, just as you couldn’t help but question Harry’s methodology.
“What’s your name?”
“Kate.”
“Kate, don’t you think this exercise fails to convey the gravity of civil disobedience? The environment seems a little low-stakes, to be honest.”
“Having low stakes is what makes it an experiment, though,” someone else muttered from behind Kate.
“You can speak up”, you said. “And yes, it’s an experiment, but it still feels too far-fetched, not even close to a parallel. Once you’re done with the lesson, you should let me know how Professor Styles managed to turn this into a Thoreau analogy. Maybe he should have just taught you how to play Another Brick In The Wall and called it a day.”
Some of the Drama students snickered from their desks, but Harry’s class didn’t seem to find you amusing at all. Oh, well. You couldn’t please everyone.
“Since you’re already here, you’re going to learn something. It’s unrelated to civil disobedience but that’s not really my fault, is it? Find a partner that’s actually enrolled in the class about narrative elements in Drama; work on the passage together, from a character-focused perspective, and see if you can relate any of it to your knowledge about art and culture in general. I’m certain someone has taught you about that, even if Professor Styles couldn’t.”
There was a beat of silence, all twenty-four of them staring at you hesitantly.
“Well? Get to work.”
And so they did.
—
You zipped up your bag, mind already drifting to the bottle of wine and comfortable blankets waiting for you back home, when someone’s knuckles tapped the door to the classroom. It was neither 103, with its smooth stone walls onto which you could project any material necessary with perfect lighting, or 214, with its moldy smell, but a perfectly decent middle-ground. You had just taught your last lesson of the first week of the semester to a group of eager Literature first-years and even though you were much better at it now than when you first began, it wasn’t an easy job by any means. Shoulders aching with tension, you turned to the door.
“No,” you said before Madeline could utter a single word. She was your sweetest colleague, and also technically your boss. Madeline was the head of the Literature department and the person who recommended you to the head of Drama when they needed someone to teach a couple of classes on the narrative aspects of plays the students would later perform. Even when you hesitated to take the job and said you weren’t experienced enough to do it, she wouldn’t take no for an answer; Madeline was the closest thing you had to a mother in Markham, always toeing the line between authority and encouragement.
But she would have to take no for an answer now, because you knew that face. And contrary to her motherly status, she wanted you to go out for happy hour. “Just one drink,” she didn’t even bother denying it. “Everyone’s coming.”
“Everyone who?”
“Everyone!”
Everyone almost certainly didn’t involve faculty over 65, so that left you with less than ten people total. You decided not to bring it up since Madeline could get sensitive about age talk. She was 58 and absolutely outraged by people over 60 that started “acting like they had already dropped dead”. Her words.
“Professor Styles will be there,” and then she wiggled her eyebrows. Oh my God.
“What is that supposed to mean?” you said, offended, grabbing your purse. You turned off the lights and closed the door, all while she played dumb.
“Nothing, really,” Madeline said with a shrug. “Thought it might be nice to hang out with a fellow young intellectual, ‘s all.”
“Oh, spare me.”
“You could also figure your shit out before HR needs to get involved,” she paused to see your reaction. There was none. “Just a thought.”
“HR? Are you for real?”
“No,” she said, honestly. “But the two of you can’t keep this up forever, honey. It’s entertaining to watch, but it looks exhausting. You should put an end to whatever this is, if only so you can have a little more peace of mind. You’re both smart people trying to get their job done, that’s all.”
You didn’t say a word. You didn’t want to fight Madeline on this. Harry was… complicated. You hadn’t seen him at all since yesterday’s class and even though you were proud of how you handled the situation at first, you couldn’t help but second guess every move you made while his students were in your classroom. Maybe you should have just made them leave. Maybe you shouldn’t have questioned Harry’s authority so explicitly by saying it was a bad exercise.Maybe you should have just pretended they weren’t there at all. Maybe you should have walked up to Harry himself and thrown a fit because he disturbed your lesson.
But there was no use dwelling on what should have been. In the end, the lesson was actually productive. Fun, if you might say so yourself. His students proved themselves to be very reasonable people, and the contrast between their perspectives as musicians and those of your students, as actors or future playwrights, contributed to multiple interesting discussions.
“Just one drink,” you found yourself saying to Madeline, not that it mattered. You were already walking together towards the parking lot, where her car was, instead of your usual route.
“That’s my girl.”
You rolled your eyes as you walked by her side, your black heels making it hard for you to walk on the gravel of the parking lot. The uncomfortable shoes, unfortunately, played a big part in your whole “fake it ‘till you make it” brand of confidence.
—
The whole table shifted as you and Madeline walked into the pub. You could see Harry from the corner of your eye, fuzzy cream sweater and lilac pants, the shadow of laughter still on his lips from whatever joke was being told before you walked in.
Two more chairs were placed at random spots, and before you could say anything you were squeezed in between Harry and another professor from the Music department, with Madeline four seats away. This had been a terrible idea. Your thighs were pressed together, the rough fabric of his pants rubbing against your skin; there was no move you could make without somehow touching him.
“Hey,” Harry said quietly, turning to you. You could feel his warm breath on your cheek. “Did you have a nice class yesterday?”
Despite all the imaginary fights you had with him on the last 30 hours, you smiled. Harry Styles had some nerve. “Which one? I teach a few classes everyday, Professor.”
He laughed under his breath even though you both knew you weren’t a particularly funny person. “You know what? You are adorable.”
You could feel your cheeks flaming instantly. He rendered you speechless for a couple seconds, each one making his smirk grow. You licked your lips and then, with less confidence than you’d like, you said: “I know. Still not as adorable as your little backfiring prank, though.”
“First of all,” he started, still with that damn smirk. “It wasn’t a prank, it was an exercise.”
You raised a skeptical eyebrow.
“It was! And it absolutely did not backfire. Shouldn’t you know what backfiring means? Aren’t you a book expert or whatever?”
“Very cute, Styles.”
He murmured a ‘thank you’, choosing to ignore your dripping sarcasm. It drove you crazy.
Someone cleared their throat, and you realized as soon as you looked up that the whole table was waiting for your order and most definitely paying attention to yours and Harry’s conversation. Your face burned even hotter while you stuttered out the name of your cocktail.
Your first cocktail, that is. As a storm started outside, one drink turned into two, then three.
“I should get going,” Madeline said at some point, half the table already gone. Even with all the extra space, you and Harry had shown no intention of moving. “Do you need a ride, honey?”
You thought of your empty kitchenette, a few miles south of Markham, and all the time it would take her to drive you home and back to her house, and her family, under such a downpour. A quick “No, thank you” and she was gone. You turned to the nearest window, your arm brushing Harry’s in the process, to watch the storm outside and figure out if the weather would make it impossible for you to leave, which meant you had made a terrible decision by declining the ride. Sure enough, it was pitch black and the rain was as violent as ever. Oh, well.
“You have goosebumps.”
“Huh?”
“You have goosebumps,” Harry repeated himself, laughing a little. As opposed to you, he hadn’t had a single drink to slow his thinking. “Are you cold?”
“Yeah,” but you weren’t. Through your protests, he took the beige coat hanging on his chair and draped it across your shoulders. Once you shivered at the touch of his fingertips, there was no lying anymore.
Harry raised an eyebrow, and you didn’t know what was more infuriating: his smirk, the amazing smell on his absurdly fashionable coat or your uncalled-for horniness, so you decided to ignore all of them. “There’s really no need, Styles,” you said quietly, already reaching to give him back his coat. “I need to get home.”
“You’re drunk.”
“I’m not driving.”
“Well,” he scoffed. “Obviously.”
You furrowed your brows, suddenly very glad you couldn’t see the drunk pout that had just formed in your lips. “Bye, then.”
He grabbed your hand before you could take off his jacket. “No. Let me take you.”
“No fucking way,” you protested. Realizing the three or four remaining coworkers at the table were paying attention to your conversation, you continued much more calmly: “Thank you, though.”
“Come on, Professor,” he teased. “I owe you this one, I guess.”
The gin made him sound so reasonable. He did owe you one, for being such a jerk at all times through the don’t-give-a-shit attitude and how he often brought up that stupid fucking night. Not to mention the 103 debacle and the disruptive prank. He owed you many, actually.
“I guess?” It sounded more aggressive in your head, but that would do.
So you both said your goodbyes and left, his expensive coat hanging off your back while you walked to his expensive car, as if whatever was his were meant to be shared with you simply because you looked good in it.
part 2 !
#pick your poison fic challenge#for-fucks-sake-h#oh-honey-styles#andwhenshesays#pypfc#mine#harry styles#harry styles fic#enemies to lovers
652 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hmmm, I've actually never thought about my least favorite number before! I think it might be 17, no reason for that I just don't like the number 17, which is a shame bc I really like the way the second digit of the number sounds. What's your least favorite number? | Have you ever read any Shakespeare poems? I've read like, 1 but I want to read more -⭐
somebody: *says 'seventeen' in any form*
like twenty headmates: "cANT WE BE SEVENTEEEEEEN"
barrett: *has yet another mental breakdown*
we all need therapy jesus christ
anyway least favorite number for me is probably uhhhhh maybe nine? nine is unsatisfactory to me. also five. what's it doing with all those weird corners.
we've read a few shakespeare poems! we mostly read his plays and stuff, we have a whole set of them, and we like them a lot!
how was your night?
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Responses from the Opera Screencaps Captioning Quiz
Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions-- there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):
(also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin for translating the German captions I got)
originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper
Responses:
(Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”
me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson
Introducing the polycule to the parents
*boom* ... did...you guys hear that too?
Ma Signor !
Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.
the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay
the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized
chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)
That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)-- closest
A Good Friday night
good omens (2019)
["the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief" meme] who's the boy and who's the mischief though????
Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating
Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.
I love my bird wife
Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance
throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child
When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature
angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)
draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show
What have I gotten myself into
Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who
A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.
A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby
There are three types of people on Halloween:
Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this...
oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!
gay brunch
Three little maids from school are we
guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back
those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.
Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility
When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers
"No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum."
originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini
Responses:
“In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1
"ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul"
what, YOU don't have a special eavesdropping chimney window?
Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch
man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating-- closest
when you end up third wheeling the straight couple
lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney
A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk
Idk Shakespeare?
experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins
Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting
Landlords laugh over student renter's misfortune
I never asked for this
Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear
voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease
Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!
lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?
human trafficking
And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!
Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress
A couple tortures a man in a box.
It's all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you-- okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept
Taking eavesdropping to the next level
Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out?
SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST—
overhearing how people talk about you when they think they're alone puts you in the shithouse
Does he know we can see him?
dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle
the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can
Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear
Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us
"Remember, don't feed him after midnight"
originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal
Responses:
“When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”
horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.
definitely don't have a napoleon complex going on
King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set
king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk
Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession
man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse
That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive
Who the fuck put a horse on the stage
isn't this that picture of napoleon on the horse
Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue-- closest
Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.
Night out with the lads
Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom
gay army fights different gay aesthetics-- hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz
Well at least I LOOK badass
ceasar if he hadn't gotten stabbed (colourised)
some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake
It’s just a model
Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?
Someone rides a horse statue in public.
Just a normal party with the bros.
what is this, some kind of crossover episode?
Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion
Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home:
All hail Incitatus the king
we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts
oh god is that hamilton
Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven
Gay <3
Officer: This horse... is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*
originally taken from: the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio
Responses:
That One kid in class
its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*
*record scratch* yeah, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here-- closest
Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done
left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown
the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep
lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we've all been there)
It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano-- sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.
That was a fake horse in the last photo right?
child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time
dissociation solves everything
I can't believe it's not butter
Honey we talked about this
My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural
child has nightmare of boring job
When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night
just an average day in a hetero marriage
what do i do my wife's having period cramps again
Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!
“No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”
Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.
When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!
Do you realize how effed you are?
Ugh, not this lecture again!
Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again
asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way
Will he shut up already!
no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj
this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway)
Me internally vs externally
Daddy issues
originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members
Responses:
It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein
why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on
I hate this itchy hat
Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours
people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank
pov: you’re a time traveler
guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos
No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind
Is this from Harry Potter?
disneyland main street usa workers on strike
local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.
"Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all"
“We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”-- not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)
dc movie filter on bridgerton
america?
looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again
Who still wears page boy hats bro?
Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That
Bitches are relieved at some party.
Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions
How tf do I act natural in this situation-- closest
“do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance”
It's too fucking hot outside for this outfit
?
when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different
pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up
Starting the pledge of allegiance be like
He's having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck
originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein
Responses:
“William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man" I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical
eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs
woooooorrrrd
Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.
what my professors think they look like
Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders
'and since you've now graduated high school, you'll be entering college etc. blablabla' .........meanwhile, there's a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)
Jonas darling baby <3-- can’t argue with that
I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera
ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can't fool me.
"as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor"
"Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!"
Graduation speakers are out, singers are in
Senior year takes a new meaninbg
mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women
Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like
younger boris johnson (derogatory)
jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking
What a fine graduation evening we’re having today
-70 points for slytherin you all have no swag
A man with a college hat sings.
An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody
How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years
East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-
I may not have been "cool" in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!
I finally got my GED!
that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated
he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk
Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times
Smrt
originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)
Responses:
There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming
jinkies
femme fatale (including to herself)
I’ll have a threesome soon !
Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.
thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex
When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again
jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it's not the way! stay alive! i love you!!
The throuple is thriving
Get off the milf
orgy
my last three braincells because im a horny slut
countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react
Rasputin's lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia
Woman's soul leaves body
Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex
bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples
When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy
Jesus cumming
one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody's drunk
What have I done
Hozier??????????
Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.
This time, the chick IS the magnet
An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)
What do you mean they canceled GLOW?
“I TOLD you it was cashmere!”
Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.
It's not what it looks like!
jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.
jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch
I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!
Shrek 5, jesus's return
c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)
just about all of these are close lol
originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc
Responses:
Don’t look, I’m still pooping
yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me
*i can't even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*-- closest
Cospeto!
„No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“
when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up
When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me
right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao
Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”
Yeah I got nothing
gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she's a twink. she's not amused but she's watching this happen anyway
me tired of MET's bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)
"stop smiling at me like that I'm trying to pout over here"
"I got fleas, you got fleas... wanna fuck?"
I have the best idea!
Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy
lesbian is bothered by dilf
Me trying to flirt
if call me by your name was hetero and set in america
how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode
So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.
What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????... unless??
Two people flirt in a poor place of town/
"If you ask me what I've got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in"
You look like ur gonna kill me but ok
Really? You again?
Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.
Have you seen Godot?
she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.
idk pick better pictures-- I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS
200% done with your crap
Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves
originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me
Responses:
The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy
dear god its hiddeous
Capitalism
Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.
ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet
„Stop! He feels bullied!“
'this is my newest take for jesus's crucifixion crown ...... what do you mean they already put him up'
That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK-- closest
Omg I love the adventure zone!
minesweeper (windows xp)
"Okay whatever you do don't touch the shiny spiky ball" "It's so shiny I wanna touch it"
Taking down the trash way too late
IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM
Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer.... again. Leia isn’t happy
Star Wars 2030
“And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “
futuristic kkk
long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire
Put it down put it down put it down
“Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”
A weird ass crown is presented
The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong
How it feels to want something that u cant have
AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY
I know it's risky but... lube me up
?
use the force luke.
that is a weird fleshlight
When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it
Touch the orb
originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar
Responses:
When no one comes to your birthday party :(
fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot
i really wonder who he thinks he's playing footsie with
Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table-- closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).
the last supper afterparty after jesus left
When you order the last supper on wish
espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag
Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table
Now THIS is a Good Friday night
this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11
that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her
After the last supper
Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour
When the cishets aren’t home
waiter hides from customers
Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:
what's left of the homies Jesus had dinner with
university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong
I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES
Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv
Someone hids under a table
"You're about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work"
5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:
They never invite me to their parties!
Just another girl’s night in
Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.
dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)
just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)
Just a normal day with the boys
Thievery
originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde
Responses:
Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?
holy disco
Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.
catholicism
me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)
jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him
Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk
Lord of the rings?
ewww christianity gross
"behold, I am Important"
"Seriously?? It's not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!"
Jesus at the Disco
Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem
disco is heaven
Want to join my new religion?
the kkk
church christmas pageant where everyone's sober but it's based on the director's fever dream
Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay...
“Oh god I think I’m starting my period”
A party is held with a priest in the middle
"Let's get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!"
The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!
You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but...I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”
Jesus visits Hogwarts
I must really stink if no one will even come close to me
the extra ass funeral i DESERVE
star wars life day
A cult at it’s best-- closest
Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess
originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida
Responses:
When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot
loyalist of subjects
bow before your queen
They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.
somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral
Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server
mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass-- closest
That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit
I can’t even tell what’s going on here
8th grade school assembly about how it's uncool to shit on the walls at school
let's all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one's hard lol)
"Yes i am a time traveller, now don't freak out"
Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills
White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over-- OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)
dead man gives speech at his own funeral
brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing
high society social function ends in mass murder-- right opera, wrong scene
Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog
Black-dressed bitches worship a man.
Worst school assembly of all time
POV:You're the window in the classroom and someone said "its snowing"
When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert
That's what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong
?
theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal
oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,
A funeral, stop wearing so much black
I want to slap their bald heads like rice
originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo
Responses:
Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off...”
if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea
it was the best of times, it was the worst of times
Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.
priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-
when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft
lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking
Again. Too many black costumes
Loved this Dostoevsky novel
i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl
me on parties lol
"imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted"
"Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!"
Everyone act normal!
The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk
man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover
boys ???? night
the priest really shouldn't have visited the insane asylum-- closest
He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before
Something happens in a room.
Perks of being a wallflower
There's always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna
Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here...
The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene
Quick!
the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.-- also accurate
the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away
...I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission
Queers help fellow queer do math but it's a struggle
#opera#opera tag#results#screencaps#captions#caption#caption this#caption contest#this seems to have gone over well and I am Pleased
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
OC Masterlist
————————————
Welcome to my OC masterlist! I have a lot of ocs! I hoard them like a goblin and I will never stop! SO!!! OCS!!!! So far we got two collections of OCS; The O’Jekylls, which is Dr. Jekyll’s fam, and my very own DND character who I turned into a Lodger! <3
All OCS can be found under the tag #Banshees OCS!
————————————————
--Lodgers--
——————Humans——————
Cederic Beumont
Cederic Beumont is a French artist (and prostitute) turned mad scientist throughout multiple events happening in his early adulthood. He is the oldest twin out of him and his sister, Cassandra, and the two of them were raised by their single father in a small village in France. After the death of their father by the age of twenty, Cederic and his sister travel around Europe until they move to America, where they lived for five years. During those five years, Cederic and Cassandra-- previously inseparable-- have a falling out which ends in Cederic storming out and leaving Cassandra to run the hotel they had set up on the coast of Florida. The falling out, combined with a lot of other stressful and dramatic things happening around him, manages to make Cederic’s mental health crumble until he practically goes insane. Previously an artist, Cederic turns to science in hopes of being able to achieve something that would make him “more” than his sister, who always has been the “smarter” one out of the two of them, which ends up in him studying Frankenstein’s life like the Holy Bible. He gets obsessed with the study of lightning and he gets obsessed with the idea to one-up God, as he previously had been born and raised Catholic, and he feels like he would be able to do everything that Frankenstein failed to do (take care of Creature, own up to the responsibilities, keep the innocent safe, etc) despite having no proof of him being able to do everything differently.
With the help of his boyfriend, Wilhelm, and Wilhelm's biology studying friends, he manages to continue his experiments. He moves between calling himself a Fulminologic Necromancer and a Necromantic Fulminologist, depending on the people he surrounds himself with, as he studies lightning as a whole and applies the knowledge to necromancy. His early experiments involves reviving dead animals with the use of electricity, although he does dabble in alchemy and chemistry when it’s needed.
Around the time he is 30 years old, he hears the word upon the street about the Society For Arcane Sciences in London, England. His boyfriend helps him scrap in enough money for a one-way ticket to London on the promise that they will still hold contact, to which Cederic immediately agrees. He travels to London by ship and marvels over how fantastically dirty and gross the entire city is, there is slums everywhere! So many animals and mythical creatures!! The moment he is within the city walls, he manages to find Sergeant Enoch Brokenshire and pleads for him to show Cederic the way to the Society. Brokenshire is, of course, very put off by this hyper-energetic bastard he can barely hear over his (normally trained away) french accent, but Brokenshire does not get paid enough to care. He basically just grabs Cederic by the collar and drags him like a stray cat over to the Society and to Dr. Henry Jekyll’s office, to which he basically dumps him on the doorstep and leaves. As Jekyll practically collects scientists, and as they already have a necromancer in the Society, Jekyll welcomes Cederic with open arms and shows him around, unaware how Cederic... is an actual mad scientist, not just using that word as a moniker.
Cederic quickly becomes friends with Sinnett and Luckett, all three of them having a knack to blow things up and play with fire. Cederic also loves to harass Tanis, the local necromancer, as he loves that they practically study the same thing and did you know this and that and wouldn’t it be cool to blow up a corpse? You know Moreau might actually have been onto something with the animals and yadeyadeyada-- Tanis does not like Cederic. Cederic thinks that they are best friends.
Cederic joins the Society sometime before the events of TGS, however, immediately jumps all over both Jasper and Frankenstein like a yappy dog excited to have new friends. He is absolutely in love with Frankenstein, much like everyone else, but quickly has a change of heart as he feels she is a wimp, because he could do this and that so much better and why would you do x y and z when you could have done a b c instead. He has a massive ‘R.I.P to them but I’m different’ complex and feels like Frankenstein can’t own up to her work and her legendary image like she should. He thinks he can one-up her, and basically tries to snatch her stuff and studies when she isn’t looking. Creature would very much like to bonk him over the head with a frying pan.
Cederic also has a pet ghost cat-- or more or less spirit cat as she has never actually been alive-- that he has had since he was a baby. He named her Adelaide-Antoinette because he is french and extra like that, and the two of them are actually inseparable, as Adelaide is connected to Cederic through a bunch of magical hijinx. Adelaide can talk to Cederic, however, no one else can hear or see her, making most people think that Cederic is genuinely insane as he is not afraid to walk around talking to himself. The only one who knows about Adelaide is Maijabi, who saw her in one of his ghost mirrors one time, but he thinks its fun to see the other Lodgers thinking that Cederic is insane, so he doesn’t say anything.
Random Trivia: Cederic is originally my DND character, played in a specific type of campaign called Scion. It takes place in the real life world, and our campaign is set during the 1960′s if WW2 had never ended. Cederic and Cassandra were originally forced to flee by the outbreak of the war and the invasions of France. Scion is also based on mythologies, were the player characters (the Scions) are children of the ancient gods. Cassandra and Cederic are children of the egyptian god Bastet, ergo, the ghost cats.
Tags: #Banshees Cederic
Art of Cederic / Original Info dump on Lodger!Cederic
-
——————Animals——————
Adelaide-Antoinette
Adelaide-Antoinette is a spirit and companion cat connected to Cederic. She has been by Cederic’s side for as long as he can remember and her, her sass, and her snobbishness were many of the core influences that shaped Cederic into the person he was before his mental breakdown he is today.
Adelaide is a Birman and lives up to the snobbish reputations of such breeds. When she is particularly feisty, she likes to sit on top of Cederic’s head and use him as her steed, and also loves to call him a peasant. She is also very territorial, and very protective of Cederic too. She is basically the epitome of “No one is allowed to bully him but me”. She is also very vocal and loves to have Cederic seem like he is talking to himself. Cederic has a knack to recite Hamlet and other Shakespeare plays to her, and while it’s fun for him, Adelaide wish she could bite his tongue off after the 10th recitation. After so many years, the recites might be up in the thousands.
Adelaide also did not like all the other creatures in the Society immediately, but quickly realized that it was either them or Cederic forever, to which she quickly began to force herself to warm up to them. Her favourite is Jasper’s unicorn, who most likely share her snobbishness, but a close second is Zosi and Griffin’s cat. When she is particularly mad at Cederic, as he tends to neglect her a little once he gets caught up in his work, she likes to hang around Maijabi as he is the only other living person who can see her. Cederic also uses her to spy on the others sometimes, as she can go through walls and can’t be seen.
Tags: -
-
————————————————
--The O’Jekylls--
——————Humans——————
Collin O’Jekyll
Collin O’Jekyll is Henry Jekyll’s “paternal uncle” and also his make-shift father. Collin and Henry loved each other from day one and the two of them often spend most of their free time in the pastures with Collin’s horses. Collin is an artist, who dabbles in both writing and art, but mainly breeds and sells horses for income, despite not really needing it due to his inheritance. He has always been supportive of Henry’s scientific interests and was the one to take him out to all of the scientific plays that Henry watched as a child, as his parents were less than supportive of the boy’s interests.
While mainly breeding and raising horses, Collin also buys and takes care of every animal he can get his hands on. One of his oldest pets is a male calico Maine Coon named Paddington, who got dumped by his breeder for being male. All of Collin’s animals seem to hate everyone but him, and of course, Henry. Collin also bred and gifted Henry his own horse once he turned 15; a dapple grey Clydesdale named Mayhem, named after her fiery temper. Much like Paddington, she hates everyone but her owner.
Random Trivia: Collin has a very weak immune system and therefore always wears a scarf, no matter the season or weather. He also knows how to sword fight and taught Henry a few tricks before he left Scotland. He is mainly a very cheerful and optimistic guy but won’t hesitate to throw hands if you try to hurt those he loves.
Tags: #Banshees Collin, #Collin O’Jekyll
Art of Collin / Art of Collin and Paddington
-
Douglas O’Jekyll
Douglas O’Jekyll is Henry’s “biological” father and Collin’s older brother, but dislikes his role as both father and brother. He is a policeman and known for his ruthlessness and hatred for those he deems have done wrong, and he also has a massive superiority complex. He has always disliked Collin greatly and the two of them have always had a rivalry between them, however, that rivalry got to it’s boiling point when Douglas and Collin were in an accident as kids, mainly caused by Collin unintentionally during a riding trip in the Highlands, which made Douglas earn some of his scars and bred the resentment between the two of them even more.
Douglas has always been disapproving of Henry’s... Well, he has always been majorly disapproving with anything that comes to Henry. He dislikes Henry’s love for his uncle, his scientific interests, Henry’s friends, his wish to become a doctor... Douglas dislikes pretty much everything with Henry, which might have its grounds in Henry looking like and taking after a lot from his uncle. As Henry grows older, Douglas’ dislike for both him and Collin grows stronger, and Douglas starts getting outspoken of his hatred for Henry. He also gets physical every once in a while, which was one of the reasons for why Henry left Scotland completely despite Collin doing his best to protect him.
Random Trivia: His scars are either from the Accident, from his work as a policeman and also from many of Collin’s animals. He has a family pedant made out of emerald with a ‘J’ for Jekyll in it, as he is the first born and the heir of the family. He has always felt like Collin was the favourite with everything, both by their parents and by the fact that Douglas’ own son and wife likes Collin more than him, which just bred his resentment for his younger brother even more.
Tags: #Banshees Douglas, #Douglas O’Jekyll.
Digital art of Douglas / Traditional art of Douglas
-
Abigail O’Jekyll (Née O’Haggins)
Abigail is Henry’s mother and Douglas’ wife. She comes from a long line of Scottish non-aristocratic nobles and she is the oldest out of six sisters, making her the main heir of the O’Haggins as she has no brothers. In her youth, she was very sought after by many bachelors, and met the O’Jekyll brothers during a ball hosted by her parents. She immediately took a liking to Collin and during the dances, they fell quite in love. However, as the first born, she was forced to marry Douglas instead due to pressuring from her parents who deemed Douglas more worthy than Collin, but she and Collin continued their relationship in secret. Both Douglas and Abigail knows that neither really loves the other all that much but they play their parts due to societal expectations, even if that doesn’t make Douglas any happier when the suspicion of Abigail’s and Collin’s relationships arise.
Abigail is, too, not very supportive of Henry’s scientific interests due to all of its stigma and consequences that it can bear, not to mention that she is quite afraid of Douglas’ reactions to Henry’s continuous love for science, but she allows Henry to pursue non-harmful studies in secret to keep him happy, as his happiness is the most important thing for her. She does her best to be a good mother and succeeds in that, although everyone has their bad moments.
Random Trivia: While Henry looks more like Douglas and Collin, Hyde takes after Abigail’s side of the family. She wears a locket with an ‘A’ on it with a picture of Collin and Henry inside, which needs a lock to be opened (mostly to keep Douglas from discovering the photo). While she is indifferent to most animals, she loves cats (that are well behaved, which rules out all of Collin’s cats) and she likes horses, although she will never, ever ride one ever again after she fell into a hay bail when Collin tried to get her to ride one of his horses.
Tags: #Banshees Abigail, #Abigail O’Haggins.
Old Art of Abigail / Updated Art of Abigail
-
——————Animals——————
Paddington
Paddington is one of Collin’s most beloved cats. He is a male, calico coated Maine Coon that got dumped by his breeder for being a male calico (therefore, sterile). He lived in the streets for a while until Collin found and adopted him, to which Paddington immediately became a little diva who hates everyone but Collin and Henry. He is the cause of some of Douglas’ scars and have torn more than one of Abigail’s dresses, but is as good as gold to Collin and Henry.
Tags: #Banshees Paddington
Art of Collin and Paddington / Written description of Paddington
-
Mayhem
Mayhem is Henry’s own horse that Collin bred and helped Henry to raise. She is a dapple grey Clydesdale named after her fiery temper and knack for chaos, much like most animals that Collin has been responsible for. She is quite spoiled but very well behaved when needed to be, and she often thinks that she is the mother of those she likes, such as Henry, Paddington, Zosi and Collin. Once Henry left Scotland, she was one of the few things he took with him, and he still owns her to this day; allowing her to live her best, destruction-bringing life in London, striking terror in every stable boy in the entire city.
Tags: #Banshees Mayhem.
Written description of Mayhem
#Oc#ocs#original character#original characters#animal ocs#animal oc#horse oc#cat oc#masterlist#oc masterpost#oc masterlist#masterpost#banshees ocs#banshees collin#banshees abigail#banshees douglas#banshees paddington#banshees mayhem#Collin O'Jekyll#Douglas O'Jekyll#Abigail O'Haggins#tgs oc#tgs ocs#the glass scientists ocs#the glass scientists oc#tgs#the glass scientists
15 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
schr0dingerstacocat
Existing
12woodenantlers
This is a thing
raintreeboutique
Raintree Boutique
anime-wallpapers
Anime Wallpapers
healers-trail
Healer's trail