not now mom i’m wasting my life on a website the entire internet believes to be dead

hey hey hey

Assigning you a song that makes white people go nuts (from experience)

My favorite part of fiddler on the roof was when he said "it's fiddlin' time" and fiddled all over those guys

“why’s he always covered in blood” he needs enrichment. What’s not clicking

cooking my husband a delicious and nutricious breakfast consisting of lead pipes and

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another one: if no one votes on this poll everyone wins (you don't win nothing specific tho but like. you win)

do not vote

do not vote

Which do you prefer?

please reblog to reach all the far corners of operablr <3

(if you don't know what Operablr Pride Month is you can check out this post and/or search it in tags)

ok i’m curious

You guys, I just came up with a GALAXY BRAIN Clemenza staging.

Tito is a trust fund baby who used his parents' money to buy a huge communal house in which he's established his vast and sprawling polycule, but he won't get his full inheritance unless he legally marries a woman. He's gay and still desperately in love with his college boyfriend Sesto, a trans man who formerly identified as gay but who is newly identifying as bi and kinky, and who is deep in New Relationship Energy with his domme Vitellia, a newcomer to the polycule who has determined to emerge at the top of the heap, holding the deed to the house and all the money.

Tito auditions his coworker Berenice as a nice respectable beard who he thinks he'll be able to introduce to his parents and marry, thereby securing the polycule's fiscal stability, but Vitellia drives her off with her bad vibes. Annio, another bisexual trans man, formerly Sesto's secondary partner but newly demoted to occasional fuckbuddy, has been consoling himself by getting together with Sesto's sister Servillia, who Tito chooses as his new beard after Berenice leaves because he thinks the huge infusion of cash into Sesto's family might win him back into Tito's bed.

Both Annio and Servillia are horrified by this notion and try their best to change Tito's mind without offending him. Vitellia, meanwhile, has gotten fed up with waiting to be chosen as Tito's legal spouse and has decided to convince Sesto to murder Tito and set the house on fire, since Sesto is the beneficiary both of Tito's life insurance and, in the event of Tito's death, of the disaster insurance for the house. Sesto isn't in love with Tito anymore and he resents the fact that as the designated rich kid of the polycule he gets to call all the shots while pretending that they're all living in an anarcho-syndicalist commune, but he still loves him platonically and considers him a friend.

Unfortunately he gets so horned up by the kinky scene Vitellia devises for him that he promises, almost in spite of himself, to enact it in real life. He bungles it and accidentally stabs Lentulo, a hapless stoner, and the fire is quickly put out. Publio, Tito's straitlaced former frat buddy who's been carrying a torch for him since college, pleads with Tito to call the cops and get Sesto locked up, but Tito, whose Caviar Marxist guilt and lingering infatuation with Sesto is at war with his sense of self-preservation, tells Publio earnestly that all cops are bastards and that they'll settle the issue with a restorative justice circle.

Finally he chooses Vitellia as his beard, and in a frenzied voicemail to her therapist, Vitellia decides that she's got to confess her guilt and take her punishment. Tito, shellshocked at the notion that more than one member of his beloved polycule has betrayed him, nevertheless maintains that he will not be calling the cops, and he stands there stunned as all of the other members of the polycule sing his praises as a truly decent dude, pack their bags, and move out to get away from all the drama, leaving him standing in the foyer of a huge empty McMansion, bereft and alone.

hi! it’s me! i love tornado warnings! 😍