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violetrainbow412-blog · 10 months

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A (not so) little secret

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

word count: 3.3k

Summary: even though you and Spencer have kept yours private pretty well, one night the universe seems determined to let everyone know.

warnings: established relationship but still secret, a mention of sex, and some references. I think that's all

The sound of the phone ringing pulled you out of your sweet and recent dream and when you opened your eyes you needed a moment to get your bearings. You were on a soft bed, a thin sheet covering your half-naked body, and the room smelled of lavender emanating from a humidifier. When you moved a bit you collided with a warm lump and that was the piece to finish building the scene: you were at Spencer’s house. You opened your eyes and that's when you saw that it was the purple phone on the nightstand that was ringing, next to the alarm clock with bright letters that said 4:00 am.

You had ended up in the man's apartment after a long day at work with the promise of ordering food at home and resting for a while, but at some point the kissing on the couch escalated to ending up in bed; it wasn't something you complained about, of course. He always took care of making you feel so good and had a resistance that came to surprise you, so you enjoyed each other for a long time. You were a little sore (in a good way) and exhausted by the end, but the thought that you would be able to rest up late the next morning had comforted you greatly. You would have fallen asleep barely two hours before then, but since the noise didn't seem to disturb your boyfriend's sleep and you were closer to the device, you decided to reach out to pick up the call.

"Hello?" you sighed sleepily. You couldn't imagine who could want something at that hour, although the fear that it was a call from Bennington Sanitarium about Diana's health made you think it would be irresponsible not to answer.

"Reid?" asked the voice on the other end of the line and you recognized it immediately.

"Hotch?" you murmured, a little more lucid. As soon as the last name was out of your mouth, you realized how stupid you'd been to answer instead of waking Spencer up for him to answer. It was your boss, calling the landline of one of his agents, and it turns out that it was you who had answered.

“Y/L/N?” he spoke again, sounding confused. "Are you with Reid?"

You were silent for a second as panic washed over you, your brain working at full speed to think of what to say.

“Huh… yes. I didn’t feel very well and he said that I could stay here” you confessed. Technically it was the truth, although you preferred to spare yourself the intimate details.

Even though it wasn't a crime to go out with unit mates, if it was a little… how can I put it? Immoral maybe? It could take away from your objectivity in cases and it was definitely a distraction at work, but when it came to Spencer Reid, no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't help it.

You had already been together for a few months. You realized you had feelings for him after he offered to stay with you for some days in the hospital to care for the gunshot wound that grazed your shoulder during an unfortunate event. It was so nice to be under his care, he brought you delicious food all the time, every day he bought new flowers for the next vase and always made sure you were comfortable.

Probably the daily stress had clouded your vision a bit, but in an environment so far removed from all your work, it was when you realized how wonderful Spencer could be, and let's be honest, men like that don't grow on trees in droves. It didn't take long for you to buy him a drink, just to thank him for all he'd done for you, but then the dates became recurring. One night the two of you finally talked about what you wanted for your future and then decided to start something formal.

At first it was easy to hide it in the office, after all no one would have reason to suspect anything. Morgan was annoying sometimes, thinking that he was the only one who noticed how you looked at each other, but the others hardly noticed. The problem was when, over the months, the connection between you strengthened romantically and physically, coupled with the sweet nicknames with which you called Spencer in private that on more than one occasion almost slipped from your lips.

By this point you were enjoying being with him so much that you honestly didn't care what the team might think about the relationship, you thought hiding it was more of a habit than a necessity, but you didn't know if Spencer felt the same way. You hadn't really needed to talk to him about it, at least not until now.

“Okay, then tell him that something urgent came up. I need you both to come to the office as soon as possible because in a few hours we are flying to Boston."

"Okay, we'll be there"

"Fine"

The communication was cut off there and when you turned after hanging up the phone you noticed that Spencer had already woken up, probably by the sound of your voice having a chat. He looked so cute and sleepy that you couldn't help but caress his face with your palm to help him wake up.

"What's going on?"

“It was Hotch. They need us in the office”

"I figured," he grumbled, stretching a little to shake the numbness out of his body.

“He realized that I am here. I'm sorry"

"It's okay, love. Don't worry about it,” he said, totally calm, as he stood up and gave you an absent-minded kiss on the cheek. He got up and started rummaging through the closet for something decent to wear over the black boxer shorts he was wearing, while you rubbed your face with your open palms "How do you feel?"

"Tired" you laughed, unconsciously covering your torso with the sheet. You still didn't feel confident that he would see you naked for so long, even though you had already had sex on considerable occasions "So you're not angry?"

"Angry? Why should I be?"

"Because he knew I'm here" you answered softly and he stopped what he was doing to look at you. You knew it took Spencer a few minutes to fully wake up, though he seemed quite conscious as he knelt on the side of the mattress you were on so he could speak. "I mean… do you think we're going to get in trouble?"

"I don't think so" he replied, as one of his hands slid down your bare leg to rest on your knee "Does it bother you that he knows?"

"No, no. I'm just… I'm worried that he'll send us to different departments”

“Just because we're dating? He would never do that” Reid laughed, finding your panic a little cute “He would lose his best agent”

"Are you referring to you or are you referring to me?"

"Applies to both" he replied quickly. You thought he would be more reluctant about the matter, so you practically took a load off your mind seeing him so calm by your suggestion “Actually I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Garcia and Kevin had no problems with their relationship so… why would it be any different with us?

"Because they weren’t in the same unit"

"So you don't want to try it?" he asked, sounding a bit dejected. Apparently it was a subject on which he had previously reflected.

“Of course I do, Spence. If you want to do it, then so do I" you assured him. He looked at you with some admiration and smiled happily, feeling satisfied with the answer “So it's a fact? Shall we just say it, just like that?” you muttered nervously.

Spencer took a few seconds and you could almost see the gears of his brain working behind his front.

“First we can talk to Hotch and explain the situation. Then there will be an opportunity to tell the others."

"Good"

“But we can discuss that another time, okay? for now just… get dressed. Not that I'm jealous, but I wouldn't want to see you walking around in nothing but your panties”

"Perhaps you would like it, what you would not like is for others to see me" you argued, managing to get a giggle out of him before he got up to continue with what he was doing.

It didn't take long for you guys to get ready, and considering it was early morning, Spencer rummaged through his closet for a hoodie he could fit you into, even though you'd refused. You didn't even bother to dress up, you just tied up a messy ponytail and walked out of the place like that.

Normally you arrived at the office at different times, almost always the fifteen minutes between each subway schedule, but you thought that right now that was the least important thing. Although he didn't like to drive, he let you sit in the passenger seat of the light blue car that he only used in very necessary cases.

During the journey you got distracted looking at the city lights and at some point these lulled you so much that you ended up asleep against the seat. Spencer made sure to drive more carefully and avoid potholes, until he parked outside the FBI building. When he stopped and looked at you so peacefully, he wished he could just leave you like this, even though he knew everyone was probably already waiting for you inside.

Despite the urgency that the situation required he took a moment to look at you, feeling his chest swell with love. A part of him was guiltily glad you'd answered that call, because for the past week he'd wanted to talk to you about stopping keeping things secret and that had given him the perfect excuse. He wanted to have more moments like this with you, not just limit himself to giving you his love imprisoned by the four walls of an apartment.

“Hey,” he called to you in a small voice, when he finally snapped out of his trance, leaning down to stroke your arm hoping you'd react “We're here, pretty. Wake up"

You let out a groan, clearly not wanting to leave, and when you opened your eyes you felt your eyelids completely heavy. By way of persuading you, Spencer reached up to kiss your lips, in a prolonged and loving way that helped you remove all traces of sleepiness.

Inside the car you were oblivious to anything, without knowing that a person had been watching everything with their mouths open. Emily Prentiss practically ran to get to the office before you did and once she entered she desperately searched for the rest of her coworkers, finding Morgan, Garcia, and JJ talking to each other.

“Prentiss. where in such a hurry?

"You won't believe what I just saw," she said, without even saying hello, and the three of them stopped talking to pay attention to her, after all the tone warned them of a sure gossip "Reid was kissing a girl in his car"

“Spencer?” Garcia said, sounding incredulous but also excited.

"Yeah! I was getting out of my car when I saw him park with a girl in the passenger seat and then he leaned over to kiss her. Do you think she’s his girlfriend?

“Maybe we interrupted him in the middle of an adventure. Poor boy,” Morgan laughed, feeling sorry for his younger friend.

“I didn't get a good look at her face, but she was wearing a hoodie like… grey? I think so, it was grey."

The conversation was interrupted by the sound of the elevator opening and the three of them turned to see who it was. There was Hotch, of course, Rossi next to him, and behind both of you were Spencer and you.

"Thank you all for coming. Let's go to the meeting room” your boss announced, not stopping his walk and waiting for the rest of you to follow. Everyone ignored Rossi's greeting as Emily's eyes widened and she jerked her head in your direction, as if trying to make out some feature. JJ nearly choked on her own saliva when she noticed your gray hoodie, while Penelope and Derek shared a knowing look at the obviousness of it all.

You two didn't even notice what the rest were up to, so before long the whole team was already seated at the round table. It was a custom not to sit next to Reid, partly so you wouldn't be tempted to touch him, but also so you could look at him all the time.

When JJ started giving you the details of the case you were fighting to keep your eyes open, feeling disgusted and worried about the serial killer you had to profile this time, but also completely exhausted. Spencer's hoodie felt so comfortable that you hugged yourself hoping for some comfort, and then you noticed that he was looking at you. You smiled at him from where you were, wishing you could sit on his lap to listen to the rest of the meeting, while he circled his index finger on the left side of his chest, where his heart was. It was a sign he had adopted to let you know you were there. Derek, who was next to him, watched the exchange out of the corner of his eye and smiled to himself. Several times he had noticed his coworker doing that but until now he could understand why.

“We're leaving for Boston in an hour, just pack your bags and come back here. We'll better build the profile on the jet,” Hotch announced, and most nodded as he got up from their seats. Except for you, who leaned your cheek against the table.

"It's honestly not how I planned to spend my Saturday morning," Penelope complained, pouting in disappointment.

"Well, neither do I, but this isn't paperwork that can wait for Monday”

"Are you alright, lover boy?" Morgan asked now, paying attention to Reid's hunched posture. "You look like you're going to pass out at any moment”

"We didn't sleep well"

"We?" Prentiss pointed out accusingly. Spencer frowned at her, not noticing his mistake, but when he finally did, nerves invaded him.

"I meant me. I didn’t sleep well. I had… some things to do”

Yes, things.

"Huh, I see," she scoffed, not believing him one bit. That he had spoken in the plural and you were in the same condition only gave the team the confirmation they needed.

You had spent the night together.

"See you in a bit," Rossi said goodbye and the rest soon left through the same door as him. Only when Spencer made sure no one around did he come up to you.

"How come you can fall asleep anywhere?"

“It's my superpower. You're a genius, I have this” you teased, hearing your boyfriend giggle before taking a seat next to you. Once he was there, he started stroking your back gently, as if he wanted to comfort you.

"I take you home?"

"If there is no other option" you sighed, getting up from your comfortable position only to lean against his chest in a hug. Spencer loved physical contact, so he didn't put up the slightest resistance. "Have you ever thought what it would be like for us if we had normal jobs?"

"What do you mean?"

"Outside the FBI"

"Do you want to quit?" he asked, feeling alarmed, but you shook your head against his chest.

"No, is not that. I love this unit. I only asked myself if it would be easier if we worked on something... I don't know, less demanding, that would allow us to have days off or that it wouldn't take us out of your apartment at 4 in the morning. Something safer”

"If that were the case, we wouldn’t have met"

“Did you always want to be an FBI agent?” you asked, raising your head so you could look at him. Your eyes looked bright in the light from the room, something Spencer couldn't ignore.

"Not always. There was a time when I wanted to be a cowboy”

"A cowboy?" you laughed, but with no intention of mocking. Of all the occupations that was the one you had least imagined for a mini-Reid "Well, you know what they say, save a horse..."

You expected him to complete the sentence, but seeing him scowling because he clearly didn't understand your country reference was enough to make you laugh and ask him to just forget it.

"And you? Did you always want to be an agent?”

"No," you said immediately. You had thought about it many times “When I was little I wanted to be a vet”

“A cowboy and a vet. That doesn't sound so far-fetched, maybe one day I would have even called you to take care of one of my animals."

"And then I would have fallen in love with the gorgeous cowboy Mr. Spencer Reid" you smiled, looking affectionately into the pretty eyes of the aforementioned "Can you imagine?"

"Maybe we really were already destined"

You liked to believe so. You liked to think on a daily basis that as horrible as being a profiler could be, every decision in your life had been worth it just to get to know people like your coworkers. That the world wasn't so horrible if it had allowed you to have a boyfriend as wonderful as the man in front of you.

"You're the best I have, you know that?" you exclaimed without hesitation "The best" you repeated and Spencer pulled you back into a hug just to avoid the embarrassment of you seeing his slightly moist eyes. Your face was leaning comfortably against him and your ear enjoyed the soft beat of his myocardium “I like to hear your heart”

“Did you know that a study showed that two people's heartbeats can be synchronized when they are in love?”

When he told you this, your ear was pressed against his chest and your hand went up to your neck to press it on the pulse line, paying attention to the rhythm of both of you. You smiled widely when you saw that, as always, your boyfriend was correct.

“And if one day we part ways? Will we keep beating at the same time?”

“I don't know, but I don't plan on checking either,” he assured you. Spencer really did see a future with you, and you inevitably did the same.

Before you got up you made sure to kiss him nicely on the lips and you left the boardroom hand in hand, arguing over which of your departments you would go to first. You didn't count on the fact that JJ would still be at the entrance, that when you arrived she looked at your perfectly intertwined hands.

"Hi," you said nervously, both of you letting go as a reflex, "Why haven't you left yet?"

“I need to close the door. I have the keys” she smiled. It was obvious, but you had forgotten it because you were chatting.

"Huh, yeah. We are very sorry. See you in a while"

"Good trip," she said, with the most teasing smile she'd ever given you.

You two rushed out of there and when you got to the elevator you couldn't help but burst out laughing.

"For God's sake, is today the day we have to expose ourselves to the whole world?" you exhaled, covering your face with both hands to hide your blush.

"At least no one has seen us kiss yet"

If Emily had been in that elevator, she would have laughed in Spencer's face.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #dr spencer reid #matthew gray gubler #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #jason gideon #JJ #penelope garcía #david rossi #emily prentiss #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fluff

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kneelingshadowsalome · 11 months

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Just Friends (König x F!Reader)

How to Escape the Friendzone 2/4 (Word count 5.3 k)

Summary: König is a horny, creepy killing machine obsessed with a shy, kind reader who has a raging knife kink.

Tags/warnings: 🔞 Eventual smut, eventual violence, angst, dark romance, canon divergence. Crack treated seriously. Yandere undertones, implied stalking, panty stealing, major character death, size kink, voyeurism, possessive sex, twisted, fluffy feelings. Loner boy/gentle girl dynamic. Protective!Obsessive!Top!König. Reader works as a cleaner at the base. She is described to have hair and prefers to wear dresses off work. Not safe or sane but mostly consensual.

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Massive arms go about her as she's pulled against a lean chest. It's an awkward, tense hug. He smells of open air and coppice, with a whiff of acrid sweat on top as she lays her head somewhere between the bumps of muscle of a warm chest.

Not even the body heat makes him appear more human: his heart is not pounding as fast as she thought it would after making it clear he would score some tonight.

She fears she's dealing with a sociopath. Might even be a psychopath.

"Are you still afraid?"

"I don't know." Her breaths are everything but steady as she inhales the intoxicating scent of a madman.

"Don't be scared. I will only hurt those who wish to hurt you."

His pledge renders her weak; it makes her legs shake. She gets far more than she bargained for when pulling him in to give her a little late-night comfort.

Friends with benefits is a situation bad enough, but this is not okay. The guy's fixation seems boundless, and if she tries to wriggle out of this… relationship and starts seeing someone else, it might end up in König scrubbing the potential future love interest's guts off his shoes.

And something in the idea isn't even wholly appalling.

Good God…

"I don't want you to hurt anyone," she whispers like it isn't his day-to-day job – to hurt and kill people. She is on the verge of collapsing to the floor and stays upright only because he holds her in authoritarian embrace.

"Little angel, it's what I do." He releases her only enough to bow his head and look into her eyes. His stare betrays slight distaste. Those eyes are calm mirrors of how can someone be so naive.

"You come to me if someone is mean to you," he orders in a stern voice that makes her feel faint.

"Alright," she breathes a fluent little lie. He's satisfied with her answer, however, and presses her head back against him with effortless control.

She imagines him knifing someone with a listless stare from sparing a glance her way; she fantasizes him strangling some chauvinistic moron in the darkness after they have been "mean" to her. Quickening breaths betray her sick thoughts to him because he pulls her even closer. She can feel the enormous cock pressing against her body with a promise of violence.

"Angel… I wish you would stop teasing me."

"Yeah?" Her laugh is restrained, and her heart is racing inside her chest – like it's some kind of a good idea to have a heart attack while a murderous psycho turning into a boyfriend is in the same room with her. "Where's the fun in that…?"

"Do you always tease men like this?"

"No," she swallows a mouthful of woodland and musk. "Just you."

"Hm."

"König… Can I see your face?"

The man finally seems to find his reserve again. He detaches from her, and she can hear the audible gulp inside the hood.

"Maybe later."

He shifts his weight from one foot to the other like he usually does when he's a bit nervous. Probably to ease the discomfort from still being forced into those pants with such an astoundingly large, swelling erection, too.

She can't come up with anything that might explain why the man is so uncomfortable with showing his face. From the small glimpse she saw in the showers, everything looked completely normal. There is some other reason why he wants to wear the mask, most likely some mental block, and she would simply have to wait until he's ready and willing to take it off.

"How about a kiss?"

He doesn't shake his head or escape her as she hesitantly steps toward him and raises a hand to the hem of his hood.

"If I just…"

He does nothing as she starts to raise the mask. The look in his eyes is somewhat haunted, though.

She lifts it just enough to reveal a clean-shaven chin and a pair of thin, tightly shut lips. She briefly notices that there's a scar on his jaw before his mouth opens to call her in. They're polar opposites of each other: she feels breathless and limp when their lips meet while he's a statue of rigid power. Even his mouth is tense as she catches his bottom lip between hers and tries to soften that immortal stiffness. Distant notes of hops catch her tongue just before he pulls her back into a crushing hug.

The guy is not the most perfect kisser. He's very avid, though. In fact, his eagerness is what makes it a scary experience, what makes the kiss clumsy. He smashes his lips on hers with force, then opens his mouth so wide she fears he will devour half her face.

The ungloved hands slide down her back and cup her ass. He's gentle, but she still feels like she's levitating, half an inch above the ground from his groping. He moans like they are already having sex, but before she can disconnect herself from the violent kiss, he does it for her.

"I want to fuck you," he pants across her lips, eyes half-lidded and drunk. "Can I fuck you?"

The man has no conception of how to dance these dances. He simply declares his wish to shove his junk inside her and kill those who might do her harm. She feels dizzy in his arms, like dew that will evaporate under too much heat.

"Yeah, yes," she tries to sound sane, although there's nothing sane about this.

So much for being just friends or being nothing at all…

Her heart is beating faster and faster; it wants to rend itself out of her chest. She feels ample sweat between her thighs, then realizes it's only her own wetness that has broken through the cotton of her underwear. The dress is so tight in the middle that she can't simply try and throw it over her head, and the buttons at the front seem to have suddenly become too big to slip through the holes.

He doesn't take any of his clothes off while watching her undress. The instant she opens her whimsical veil of blooms, he moves close and shoves the fabric down her shoulders so that it drops sadly on the floor. Then he flicks a knife out.

Shit… Shit what the fuck–

"No–Don't–!"

The blade is forced with a flat surface under the middle of her bra. He pulls the fabric away, turns the blade - it's a miracle she's not bleeding by the time he cuts through the center front like it's butter. Her breasts fall free, and the destroyed lingerie hangs cheaply on the side before it gets dragged away too. She looks at his work, her exposed tits and the crude, fat knife he swiftly returns to its sheath.

"That was my favorite br–ah…"

The man is terrifying, even when he sinks to his knees. He dives for her breasts, licks the undersides and sucks her nipples like he's famished. Her head rolls back, and she feels fainter still as he gropes her like she's his toy, chews a nipple until she shudders and cries in pain. Then he goes down, down, panting hot breaths on her skin as he goes, the hood grazing and tickling her skin.

His hands shake slightly as he tears down the last piece of covering fabric from between her legs. She can't even step out of the briefs before a blazing tongue is pushed to her clit, all but delicately.

Perhaps he's not a virgin, but he's not a veteran, either – still, it draws a filthy moan out of her.

She has to take support from his head to prevent herself from falling when the tongue simply forces its way between her legs. It curls to meet her folds, slick with her wet. She knows she's practically leaking at this point, and hears how he licks his lips.

"Of course the angel tastes like heaven too," he rasps in her mound, sounding rather… bitter. Almost annoyed.

She thinks it's only the beginning, but he suddenly rises like a Kraken from the sea, like a Godzilla about to destroy an entire city.

"Get on the bed. All fours."

She chokes the whimper that tries to escape her, then turns and crawls onto the bed as if they are running out of time. His urgency is hers now, and she presents herself to him, waiting for the man to thrust in without remorse, but it's his mouth she feels first.

"Uh–Oh my god…"

He licks her with a flat tongue, torturously slow while she's on display. They're long, profound sweeps, as if he wants to sample her rather than give her pleasure. Although he does give her an immense amount of it.

She falls on her elbows, face down on the bed, exposing more of herself to him in the process. Her pussy has been neglected for so long that the feel of his hot tongue on her is absolutely breathtaking, thigh-shaking. She pushes herself back a little, lets him taste his own medicine for once.

And of course it only makes him more unhinged.

"You're wet like a…" he laughs a short, dry laugh straight into her folds, and she finally whimpers at the sound. "You want it so bad?"

"Yes…?"

It's a sad little confession but more than enough for him. He freezes behind her, and something in the way the air shifts tells her he has risen and is now standing high above her as she's in this crudely vulnerable position.

"I've made you wet this whole time?"

She snivels, opens her eyes, closes them…

"Yes," she sobs in the bed, nearly topples, but he grabs her ass and keeps her in place.

"Ach du lieber Himmel…"

She pants and cries in the sheets, but the sobering silence lasts only for so long.

The sound of a belt being opened shoots her skin full of goosebumps. Only a few seconds later, the fat tip of his cock is swept across her folds: it probes for a second, then slides in.

"A-ah–"

"Scheiße… So tight…"

He hisses and goes all the way in – the journey is long and torturous as he stretches her wide. The thickness only grows at the base, his balls are already tight as they arrive to press against her.

And mercy is not at the top of his list as he realizes she has denied her need and therefore, his. He starts to sail inside her, back and forth, in and out, like it's his job, too. It's total torture. She might just pass out before this is over.

"You little tease…" He seizes control of her hips while using her as his own personal fleshlight. The noise of wet, slick fucking is deafening. The pace is upped soon, and he has to use strength to hold her in place while ramming her from standing while she tries to hold on for her dear life and hold onto the sheets.

"Not so fast, König," she whimpers into her pillow, but he won't listen. The pace is frantic, and his thrusts are deep; he fucks her with despair, with anguish-driven, starved thrusts born from greed.

Nothing has ever felt so good, nothing.

"Just friends, eh?"

She has a hard time deciphering whether he is happy or mad. His voice is pitchy, and she knows, she just knows that he sounds equally as unglued on his missions. Perhaps that's why people rarely talk to him.

"Don't–don't be angry…"

"No? Say that you want me," he commands somewhere behind her, desperation coating the air with pungent sweat and musky arousal. "Say it–say it–"

"I want you," she finally cries, and it feels like an absolution. An amnesty. Remission of sin.

There's panting and frantic sound of slaps of flesh against flesh behind her. The air all around is pure electricity. It makes her quiver and throb and squeeze: him, the sheets, anything and everything.

"I will bring you flowers every morning and fuck you every night. Ja?"

His length is the only thing she can focus on; all else dissolves into a hazy mist. The cock glides in her like he's oiling a gun part, and he could ask her to kill someone and she would only say–

"Yes, yes."

He slides in and out with less and less control, moans and grunts with every thrust now. She's already past the point of no return, even though the orgasm keeps hovering right beyond her reach. She only needs a few more minutes. Or maybe just one...

"König… Not...so–fast…"

He answers something in German, an annoyed string of words she has no clue what they mean. He's probably just swearing profoundly.

"Get...what you deserve..."

That's the only thing she can flesh out from the English that follows. He finally finds some mercy with a choked groan and tries to slow down a little. It's even worse when he does that. He pulls almost completely out, then sinks back in, agonizingly lazy, and that does it: the full length of his giant cock slipping inside her without effort makes her walls clench.

"Oh God…" Her back is arching, her toes are curling, a tight cry disappears somewhere in the pillow, and he won't stop with the – "Oh–fuck–!"

"Yeah," he cheers her on as she screams, cries in the sheets while his cock swims in her. His hands dig into her hips, and she barely has brains left to think it might leave bruises. The orgasm comes in waves, shakes, and he won't let go even when she's only a heap of throbbing, soaking flesh and rapture.

And it's not the end; quite the contrary. He continues to fuck her with abandon: balls slap against her with every jab; they must be covered in her juice at this point, making the sound of sloppy thrusts utterly obscene. She's able to stay in a face-down, ass-up position only because he's holding her there for his cock.

The grunts turn into a wide, thick groan as he approaches the edge as well. The pace slows down almost to a halt before he comes.

"Jetzt…kommt–" he groans through gritted teeth, voice all taut while he grinds through his release. It's a multitude of deep, oddly paced thrusts, a sad attempt to get everything he can, and she's still like a wet gulf sucking him in.

The last throes are sluggish, the madness starts to pass, and she feels like every bone has left her body. There is nothing solid left when the man slowly relents and settles somewhere deep inside her. She can hear how he pants with his mouth open, and it sounds painful, wet, almost drooly. Then he swallows with a breathless gulp, slips out, and lets her go.

She immediately falls forward - topples, crashes, crawls on the bed, tries to rearrange what's left.

Just friends...

Yep.

He crashes somewhere beside her, spent and out of breath. The front of his shirt is covered in sweat; the air is filled with the stale scent of musk and saline sweat and pure, mad sex. She can barely catch a glimpse of the slick, glistening length of him. It feels like a miracle that this thing has been inside her. It’s not that it’s monstrously thick: it’s simply long, curving a little to the side, lean and aggressive even when growing soft.

"You play with fire, Engel. Why did you make me wait so long?"

The masked killer beside her is panting but satisfied for now, and turns his head to look at her. She has to muster all her courage to look back.

"I'm…a bit shy."

"You're perfect," he declares while watching her in her sex daze and ruin. So, at least he's not angry. He finally looks… normal, even with that absurd hood still on, with that intoxicated, admiring stare in his eyes. The ice in his blues has turned into melting snow.

"I noticed you the minute I arrived here."

She can't prevent a hand from reaching out at that, from splaying fingers over his chest.

"I noticed you too," she whispers back before moving closer to snuggle him. His heart is finally thumping in his chest, right under her cheek – from the late exercise or their closeness, she can't tell. A heavy arm goes around her, pressing her further into the nook of his armpit.

"You remind me of one of my knives," he says while holding her close.

Oh good God…

"You are a butterfly knife girl."

"Oh?"

"Ja. Small and cute and a lot of fun. And I can't get enough of you."

So much for getting rid of the man after getting some d. God, what was wrong with her? Any other woman would have put up some boundaries, perhaps gotten a restraining order by now.

"Is it… a good knife?" Her voice comes out as an annoying squeal, and he pulls her closer, ever closer.

"I mainly use it for playing."

She wets her lips in an attempt to calm herself, to comfort herself. She’s just another plaything for a murderer whose hunger seems endless, even if he’s more civil now. Still, she fears this man is only after sex and violence. Her little dresses and petite lingerie won't stand a chance against such brutality.

"What knife are you…?"

"Classic Glock field knife. Tall and ugly."

Behind the thin veil of indifference, there's pride. It borders on arrogance. She catches a dash of bitterness, too: field knives don't pair well with butterflies, perhaps.

"König, you're not ugly," she breaks their odd cuddle to look at him. "This sounds like a trustworthy knife to me."

He looks back at her with an even warmer tinge to the glacier of his eyes.

"It is. You cannot hope for a more loyal blade."

Her gaze drops somewhere in the darkness of his shirt. He's pledging himself for the second time to her, and it causes another storm inside her head. There's warmth on her cheeks, too.

"You are cute when you blush," he observes with pleased tranquility.

Perhaps... Perhaps he doesn't want to hurt things he finds cute.

Perhaps he will take care of them, like he takes care of his knives.

It still takes some getting used to that he allows his hood to be lifted just enough to push his tongue inside her mouth or pussy but taking it off to show his face is too much. She is lying there with him in an odd post-coital dream, thoroughly naked while he's still fully dressed. But she doesn't feel cold, not when pressed against his blazing form like this.

"Did you nick my underwear?" She asks out of the blue, and the hand stroking her waist stops in the middle of an idle caress.

"I might have," he admits without a single ounce of remorse in his voice.

"König… That's not cool," she says, knowing he can hear the lack of scolding in her voice.

"You want them back?"

"I… Gosh. Yes, that would be nice."

What a pervert.

"Or... Nevermind. Keep them," she sighs, trying to brush off the fact that the underwear in question wasn't even clean. "Do you steal women's underwear often?"

"No. Just yours."

A laugh meant to convey her shock is far too laced with joy to make it clear that she finds his deeds preposterous. She simply fails at every turn in trying to express that she's a decent woman. He knows it now, probably saw it long ago; that she's the perfect cheval glass to his perversions.

The hand on her hips moves to caress her thigh, and the drowsy stare observes her with growing mischief.

"Ready to go again?"

"Whuh–Again…?"

He takes her hand and moves it right over his cock. It's lean and demanding, and pulses under her palm.

Tall and ugly, she thinks while her walls dare to throb with hunger.

"You make me hard," he says, almost as a whisper, "all the time."

Jesus… There was definitely no rulebook when it came to this guy.

She gets to watch from the bed how he gives her a show as the man finally decides it's time to take his clothes off. The shirt is the first one to go: it flies somewhere on the floor while he holds on to his hood. The sculpted muscle looks even bigger up close, and the plates are covered with thin hair. It runs thicker below the navel, and his thighs are pure power: they surround the sleek length of his cock like trunks of strength when he finally gets himself out of those pants.

The v-shape of his upper body is something she will never get over. Broad shoulders shrink and curve into narrow hips which in turn swell into powerful thighs, and while perhaps this guy wouldn't win the gold medal at a fitness competition – judged by the way he's lean and athletic but not low fat ripped – he certainly is the most beautiful man she has ever had the pleasure to lay eyes on. He's a demigod with his herculean strength, a titan who's too big for the world of mortals. A tormented Samson who will never be tamed with treachery or tricks.

The bed sags as he crawls back to her like the gentlest predator. Her legs open wide to receive him – a classic missionary feels like the most intimate choice after the faceless pounding she received earlier. He gathers her legs as he proceeds: forces them up, up, almost next to her arms until he's hovering over her exposed pussy.

She should've known that some boring missionary wouldn't satisfy this man at all.

Her eyes drop to her legs and what's between them: she's in no position to do much of anything, but as the tip of his cock – smooth, pristine velvet – slides across her wet folds once more, she rather helplessly tries to drive her hips up to meet him.

It's like she's drunk or in a dream. The scene is wild and filthy: she's plump and spread open, ready for the taking, thighs almost in her ears as he draws his hips back and finds her opening.

"Please be gentle," she begs with a whisper. He halts for a while to lock gazes with her rabbit stare.

"You are pretty when you beg, little one. But I would never hurt you."

She swallows, and her lips part – his gaze instantly falls on her mouth, then raises back to her eyes, gentle and painstakingly ardent. He's close, so terribly close – and not just physically. Her thighs quiver with anticipation as the thick velvet slides in.

Holy fuck–

She savors the spread, and he's gentle, like he promised. The groan that erupts from inside the hood above makes her walls ache. He's so merciful this time, and she wishes to lift the black veil that still keeps them apart, to see his face as he takes her, to see that scar on his jaw and how his mouth hangs open with hunger, just like hers…

His cock comes out all wet – she can hear it – before plunging right back in, and it makes her mewl.

"Oh God…" Her eyes shut tight from the sensation of being so filled. She's even more starved than she thought. It's scary, far scarier than the mass murderer above and inside her.

"You like that?"

He's breathing heavy, and she knows he's looking at her, the distorting face of pleasure, the way she's biting her lip. Tears try to force themselves out from the passionate, featherbrained proximity, from being so tightly knitted together, like a bunch of happy, overstimulated nerves.

"Look at me," he orders, and she opens her eyes like they're under his command and not hers.

"You like it like this?"

She nods with tears in her eyes, and he won't stop looking at her like she's his most prized possession.

"Gut. I will make you scream again."

The man's dreamy stare follows every twitch of a lip, every bat of an eyelash. She looks down briefly to escape that love – the sight of the long thickness disappearing in her while she is so crudely open for him makes her feel dizzy, even when she's lying down.

Some pillow princess…

"Sehr schön," he comments while watching her face which must look like that of a dumb, anesthetized doll. His cock has that effect, and now that he's hovering over her, staring into her soul while filling her, it makes everything even more painful because it's sweet. She's under lazy waves, and decent men seem the most boring thing on earth right now.

"You like my knives?"

"Ah–what…?"

"You stared when I played with my knife."

She knows he has caught her staring more than once and bites her lip again not to blurt out how she had stared when he had played with... other things as well.

"Mh, yeah… It was beautiful."

"You're beautiful."

The sudden waves of intimacy leave her fragile and weak. His stare is nothing short of a caress. She is open and helpless for him to pound to his heart's content, but he's gentle, bordering on loving...

"I can teach you how to play with them."

Jesus Christ, this dude is just crazy.

"Uh-huh," she agrees to it with her mouth hanging open from the overload of sensation. The lewd sound of his cum pushing out of her with every thrust is an obscene background music for this – or any – conversation.

"I have a collection."

Why the hell would he be talking about his knife collection in the middle of–

"I own at least fifty knives. I can show you all of them if you come to my room."

His gaze is at least as piercing as his cock, and she realizes how serious this is: knives are his life. He finds them beautiful too, he collects them and cares for them. They're a profession, but they're also the most important thing in his world.

Knives are his essence.

And he had likened her to a butterfly knife...

"S-sure."

The sound from where they are joined rises to a sluggish crescendo: drowsy, filthy claps of flesh on soaked flesh. He makes her sick and well at the same time: he drags her to hell and raises her to heaven. He's the remedy and the curse. He plays with her like he plays with his knives: ravenous, entranced, obsessed.

She tries to concentrate on too many things at once: that intoxicating voice, the memory of him playing with death, the cock plunging inside her over and over again, making warmth pool below. She imagines him killing people with his collection, picking his tool for the day. He's not the only lunatic here because even the very thought makes her tight around him.

"You are close?"

"König… Just–" she whispers on the cusp of a deeper, soul-rending orgasm.

"You like it when I talk about knives?"

She breathes laboriously and tries to hang onto the last bits of her sanity, but he knows her, knows her already. He weighs down on her until her thighs come to rest right next to her breasts. He's plowing her in a crude angle, indecent and deep. It's vulgar, and she loves it; loves the way he stares at her, all helpless under him.

"Please, I'm gonna–"

"I can show you my guns too."

Ohmygod–

"I'm gonn–ah–!"

She shatters, her walls clench; her pussy sucks him like he's hard candy.

“Sieh dir das an… You were made for me.”

"Nh– Please…"

Her head tosses on the pillow as if in a dream. She's fathomless, and going to pass out, the cock inside her makes her eyes roll back in her head until she sees white, the color of saints.

"Shy girl… Beg for it."

The voice that answers his command is not that of a shy girl; it's not hers at all. She hears it from underwater, and her reality consists solely of the man filling her, spreading her, transforming her from an angel into something deliciously wicked.

Please, just–

It's not her voice, and yet it does sound everything like her. It begs, mewls a plea after the other in a string of helpless little whimpers.

Don't stop, please pleaseplease…

"Besser als jedes Messer…" he rasps, more darkly now. "You drive me crazy, Engel."

A chant arises in her head: she has sinned and there's no turning back. He feels far better than any promise of heaven. She could never have guessed that being cast out would feel so good.

His release comes with a tight rip, he goes taut like in that shower, only ten times more desperate. The hiss under the hood turns into a pained, strained roar of a grunt. The first time was foreplay, a quick one: this is true release. She almost hopes she would faint as the whole body of the Austrian titan goes hard as a rock. She couldn't be more spent and used, and still, her pussy answers his godly essence by clenching around him, pulling him in like he's the best man there is.

The man of her dreams, the man from her worst nightmares...

His eyes are liquid, the waterline twitches. She sees behind the walls, a millisecond's worth of fragility before his head drops, and the muscles are released from the violent trance. Broad shoulders cage her in like she's suddenly deep inside a mountain pass. Spent and dead and gone, there's no hurry any longer: he is buried deep inside and throbs whatever leftovers he has to give her.

She's filled to the brim, crushed under his weight, banished: and it's only delicious, the feeling of her body disappearing somewhere in the depths of the bed he has plowed her into. She waits dutifully as the man gathers himself, even gets brave enough to touch him. The masked face is buried somewhere in her neck, and his stomach ripples with a few shivers as her hand runs down his spine.

"I want to do this every day," he declares softly while panting through the thick fabric of his self-made shield. She feels pure horror and thrill in her chest.

To do this every day… She will eventually break, like a toy that has been used too much. She's not made of steel like those butterfly knives used mainly for playing.

"König, this is crazy… We're crazy," she tries to put into words the unholy mess raging inside her. He snorts before releasing her from the absurd position. The weight of him leaves her empty as he pulls out, then drags his way beside her to gather her back into his arms.

"Don't be ashamed, little one," he coos through the mask. "You don't have to pretend with me."

Two rounds of intense sex have liberated him, the manic terror has turned into a strange compassion. The look in his eyes is magnanimous and tender, almost droopy. She feels weightless and timid, an angel once more.

"We belong together, you and I," he states with conviction that sends sweet dread inside her heart. "Don't worry. You will never be lonely again."

Her fate is sealed, and she fears a big, fat knife will cut her heartstrings too if she tries to escape his protection. Her jaw trembles at the prospect of him returning to her every day to fuck her bare after an adrenaline high on the field. She sees a future of tears and sweat and cum, a beast lulled into sleep amidst a withering sea of flowers and torn lace.

She tries to find the right words, hopes he will be swift and merciful in his execution.

König, please…

It's not the hood, it's–

"Everyone fears me," he sighs beside her. "I'm glad you don't."

#könig x reader #könig x female reader #könig x you #könig smut #könig fanfiction #könig #mw2 smut #mw2 fanfic #konig x reader #könig mw2 #call of duty #mw2 #mw2 x reader #yandere könig #könig imagine

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ironcroft11 · 11 months

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In defense of Gwen in Across the Spider-Verse

Okay. First of all: This post is gonna be super long and have tons of spoilers so if you don’t want to get spoiled for Across the Spider-Verse then don’t read this post. I have seen way too many people hate on Gwen because of her actions and her behavior towards Miles in Across the Spider-Verse. I’ll show you why that hate completely misses her arc in the movie and her true intentions/relationship with Miles. This post will also delve into Gwiles/Ghostflower since that is a big part of what shapes her intentions. Many people say Gwen betrayed Miles and doesn’t really care about him. They say Miles shouldn’t forgive her and that she is a snake for what she did. I’ll show you why the opposite is true by going through the events of the movie in cronological order: The movie literally starts off with Gwen talking about Miles. She is drumming away, which is, mentioned by herself, a way for her to cope with her feelings. That opening from Gwen is a small glimpse into her head. We see how she feels and what she thinks. The interesting thing is that it’s basically Gwen broadly narrating the events of the entire movie. We even see glimpses of future scenes in that intro. The line of narration that is most important here is Gwen saying “I didn’t want to hurt him. But I did. And he is not the only one.” This shows us IMMEDIATELY that Gwen did not intend to hurt Miles AT ALL. Quite the contrary. It also shows that she is AWARE she hurt Miles. She knows she fucked up. That is going to be important later on when she needs to make the tough decision regarding Miles/The Spider Society.

We then follow her as she goes home, still thinking about Miles and then, of course, her Peter. Note that this is roughly 1 year after Into the Spider-Verse. 1 year after she met Miles she still thinks about him daily. “I haven’t really made any friends after that [Peter’s death], except one. But there is no way to get there.” She misses Miles and wishes there was a way to visit him. Obviously she still very much cares and thinks about him.

At Gwen’s home we are first shown what her conflict with her father looks like. That conflict is obviously one of the main aspects of her arc and what drives her actions later on in the movie. You can see it is strained but you can still see that they obviously love each other very much. Gwen struggles as her father is basically hunting her down without knowing its is actually her. What pains her the most, though, is that her father is convinced that Spider-Gwen killed her best friend, Peter Parker. That way he, without knowing, makes Gwen feel guilty about the death of her best friend. Gwen is trying to get over Peter’s death but is held back by her dad, unbeknownst to him.

Gwen caring and missing Miles a lot is brought up again when she sees the picture of her and Miles that they made in Into the Spider-Verse (which she had made into a polaroid so she can actually have it on her/in her hands). Her eyes look on with sadness and her color is dark blue. The colors in Gwen’s dimension are used to portray her feelings. Dark/blue tones for sadness and light/pink tones for happiness/comfort. At this point, seeing Miles again is probably one of her dearest wishes. Miles understands her and knows who she truly is. This is going to be important later on.

During Gwens fight with Vulture at the Museum we are introduced to Miguel O’hera, Spider-Man 2099, who saves her from Vulture. He introduces himself but Gwen seems unimpressed and uninterested. What she is very much interested in, though, is Miguel’s Dimension Watch. “You can go to any dimension you want with that watch?” She just met an entirely new Spider-Man and all she is interested in is his technology that might allow her to go and visit Miles. That is how much she misses him.

As the duo fight off Vulture Miguel calls for back-up and they are joined by Spider-Woman Jessica Drew. Her and Gwen have an immediate bond which will be very important later on. Gwen immediately looks up to her and sees her as a mentor from who she can learn a lot. Gwen impresses Jessica so much that she asks Miguel if they want to recruit her for Miguel’s Spider-Society. “What about her?” “No.” “Why not?” “You know why.” Miguel and Jessica studied the entire Kingpin collider event. They know who was involved and they know that Gwen and Miles are friends. Miguel doesn’t want to recruit Gwen because she is too close to Miles. Why that is a problem we all know. (Miles being the original anomoly) From the start they knew Gwen’s relationship with Miles might end up jeopardizing their goal of protecting the Spider-Verse.

We then go on to this scene. Gwen confronting her father and her father finding out that Spider-Woman, the vigilante he was dedicated to catching and locking up, is actually his daughter. This is a key moment in Gwen’s arc throughout the movie. Her father accuses her of lying to him. All Gwen wants right now is support from her father. She doesn’t get that, instead her father wants to lock her up for the murder of her Peter Parker. At this point she is immensely conflicted. “I don’t know how to fix this.” Jessica Drew notices that and convinces Miguel to let Gwen join the Spider-Society.

Gwen seeing no immediate solution to her problem decides to accept the invite. She is not yet ready to confront the problem and walks away from it, despite being conflicted. This will be at the back of her head throughout her entire arc and throughout the entire movie. Until she is ready to confront her dad who, remember, wants to lock her up, she CAN’T return to her home dimension. Her going back would mean her having to confront a problem she is not yet ready to confront.

The next time we see Gwen is after we are introduced to Miles again. This is Gwen seeing Miles again for the first time after 1 year and 4 months. Her immediate reaction is to tightly hug him. You can, in that hug alone, see how much she missed him. You can also pick up all kind of little things in this scene. One is how awkward Gwen is. She is cringing at herself for telling him he had a growth spurt. There are obviously some unresolved feelings between the two.

Gwen then goes through his sketchbook and finds Miles’ drawings of her. She is surprised to see so many drawings of her but plays it off smoothly. “Missed you too.” It’s obvious that both missed each other immensely. But we haven’t even seen the entire extend of how MUCH Gwen ACTUALLY missed Miles. We only find out about that a bit later.

Miles and Gwen then swing through the city and catch up. Their chemistry is on full display here. I absolutely adore this scene. Gwen tells Miles that the Spider-Society is really strict about where she goes otherwise she would have come to visit him sooner. What’s important here is that at this point Gwen KNOWS about Miles’ “condition”. She knows he is an anomoly and she knows that his father dying is a canon event. And at this time she BELIEVES in these canon events. She thinks they must be upheld or the multiverse collapses. That’s what Miguel told her.

During their swing Gwen uses a moment in which Miles is distracted to place her surveillance device for Spot. You can see, even with her mask, how much it pains her to keep the truth from Miles nd having to leave him in the dark. We find out: Gwen is not here because of Miles but because she is supposed to catch Spot since Spot is an anomoly.

What follows is one of the biggest Gwiles moments in the movie and also a very important scene when it comes to Gwen and her feelings towards Miles. They sit down at the Williamsburgh Bank Building and have a heart to heart.

Gwen tells Miles that it is always so great to talk to him and that he is the only friend she ever really made since Peter died. Miles, knowing about Hobie, says “Other than Hobie, right?” and Gwen answers “That’s different.” This shows us that Gwen’s relationship and feelings for Miles are different from the relationship she has with Hobie. That’s because she literally has feelings for Miles, and she knows that Miles, in some way at least, feels the same. “We’re the same, in the important ways.” Gwen then says a line that literally shows she has fallen for Miles, otherwise there would be no need for her to mention it. “In every other universe Gwen Stacy falls for Spider-Man.” This is Gwen telling Miles that she has feelings for him.

Hearing that reassures Miles and he moves his hand closer to hers.

This is important: Gwen sees this!

And then closes her eyes and flinches. She flinches because she wants to take his hand so bad that it literally pains her that she can’t. We find out why she can’t with her next words: “And in every other universe it doesn’t end well.” Gwen knows about canon events and knows they need to happen. She was probably being told that Gwen Stacy falling for Spider-Man and it not ending will is a canon event.

She then gives Miles a look that I can only describe as “loving”. She would probably love to tell him more about canon events and everything regarding the Spider-Society. But like she said: She doesn’t know how to. She doesn’t want to hurt him and she wants to protect him.

Miles then tells her “There’s a first time for everything, right?” which makes Gwen chuckle and smile at him. It’s the first time where Gwen is confronted with Miles’ philosophy of going down his own patch and not bending to the rules of canon. Even if canon dictates something, Miles believes there is always a way.

This rubs off on Gwen as she affectionately leans on Miles, enjoying the sunset with him. Not only is this overall scene incredibly beautiful and masterfully animated but its purpose is to show us that these two indeed love each other. They want to be together but Gwen, at this stage, feels like canon is against them.

Miles and Gwen then enjoy some food in quiet and keep talking about the Spider-Society and how Miles wants to be a part of it. Gwen, without being able to tell him the truth, shuts him down and lies to him. Again, she is not ready to tell him everything, the same way she is not ready to confront her father. These 2 conflicts go hand in hand as they are her 2 biggest conflicts that she has to overcome. Gwen then snaps at Miles because he was about to find the surveillance footage of Spot which would therefore uncover her true reason for being there. Gwen obviously doesn’t want that to happen because she doesn’t want to hurt Miles. She wants to keep him away from the Spider-Society because she knows he is an anomoly AND because she knows he wouldn’t be safe there.

After she snaps at him she immediately apologizes though. They both get REALLY close after that, closer than I had remembered from my first viewing. They also lock eyes. I’m pretty sure if not for Rio, Miles and Gwen would have kissed here. Rio interrupts them and they have an awkward talk. Rio and Jeff obviously think there is something going on between Miles and Gwen which is the source of the awkwardness.

Gwen then gets a signal from her dimension watch which is caused by the explosion that Spot caused. She missed her time window to catch him because she was having so much fun being around Miles. Gwen quickly leaves after that, having to lie to both Miles and his parents.

You can tell she doesn’t want to leave Miles. She wants to stay, but she can’t. She is conflicted. And she is conflicted throughout the entire movie. That makes her arc so interesting.

What follows is one of the most important interactions in the movie that show Gwen’s motives. She arrives at the explosion and realizes Spot escaped. Jessica Drew, who Gwen looks up to, remember, calls her and asks her where Spot is. Gwen tries to play the whole situation down, not wanting to be seen as a failure. That has one big reason: Since Gwen is a liability to the Spider-Society because of her connection to Miles she has to constantly prove her worth, otherwise Miguel will send her back to her universe. That is one of Gwens biggest fears. Having to confront her father again. She is not yet ready for that so she basically does everything that is asked of her, even if she doesn’t necessarily agree with it. Jessica notices that Gwen is nervous and asks her if she visited Miles. Gwen again tries to play it down but eventually admits she went to see Miles. Jessica gets angry with her and Gwen tells her she will never see Miles again. Her voice noticeably breaks when she says that. That interaction tells us one very important point: Gwen was not allowed to visit Miles. AT ALL. Miguel has forbidden Gwen to see Miles. He probably also told her why. Miles is an anomoly and him getting entangled with the Spider-Society might end up badly. And Gwen, knowing all that, knowing she might risk the multiverse, knowing she might risk getting sent back to her own dimension and having to confront her father, STILL decided to visit Miles. That is how much she cares about Miles. She literally risked the stabilty of the multiverse for the opportunity to see Miles again. Even if its only for one evening. This alone should end the debate about how Gwen “doesn’t care about Miles”. She obviously does. A lot.

This can be taken even further. “You never made a mistake? Never got too close to someone?” This is literally Gwen telling Jessica that the reason she went to see Miles is because she has feelings for him. Jess replies by saying she did but that she got over it, prompting Gwen to do the same. We, of course, know that she can’t.

This is one of the most emotional scenes in the movie for me. After Gwens dialogue with Jess she knows her only chance to stay on Miguels good side is to follow Spot to Mumbattan and catch him. She has to leave and knows she will never see Miles again. She longingly looks towards the rooftop she and Miles stood on just moments ago, not knowing Miles is invisible and right in front of her. She whispers a last “Goodbye Miles” as she heartbreakingly decides to leave. As much as it pains Gwen, she thinks leaving now without explaining anything to Miles might hurt him, but it does keep him safe and away from the Spider-Society. It’s a lose lose situation for Gwen. She is fighting a losing battle. On one side she has Miles and the desire to be with him, on the other side the entire Spider-Verse and the conflict with her father. The fact she is even contemplating shows how loyal she is towards Miles.

Miles follows her through the portal and catches her off guard. Gwen didn’t know he was listening and thought she would never see him again. Miles, being in another universe without a dimension watch, glitches and endangers both him and Gwen. Gwen then says that she “never should have visited” Miles. She obviously meant the fact that NOW Miles is involved and they can’t go back now. She didn’t want Miles to be a part of it and now regrets that she pulled him into this. She is more angry at herself than at Miles here.

When the canon event approaches Gwen tries to stop Miles from disrupting it. Again, a lose lose situation for Gwen. She knows (or at least thinks at this point) that disrupting canon events can cause universe to unravel. She also knows how dangerous canon events are and that there is a good chance Miles might die if he tries to intervene.

Miles, not knowing about canon events at all yet, intervenes anyway. (Because he is Spider-Man, duh) While trying to save Captain Singh and the little girl he gets covered by rubble. Gwen and Hobie go down to the scene and while Hobie immediately helps Pav to pull up the bus Gwen literally makes a dash for the rubble and tries to find Miles. All the while screaming his name, her voice breaking while doing so. The relief in her voice when she finds him alive and well is very noticeable. (Great voice acting by Hailee Steinfeld)

After disrupting the canon event, Miles asks Gwen what she thinks of the situation. Gwen, almost affectionately whispering to him, tells him that she always thinks that he is amazing. Another moment that makes these two get closer and it shows how much admiration Gwen has for Miles. Even after disrupting a canon event, Gwen thinks the world of Miles. This highlights her conflict again. While still believing in these canon events, Miles is slowly but surely changing her mind about them. He is not quite there yet but it’s coming.

We then go the Spider-Society HQ where Gwen introduces Miles to Miguel. Miguel immediately becomes hostile and blames Miles for disrupting the canon event. Gwen knows that Miles did in fact disrupt the canon event but still defends him. “He doesn’t know any better:” Miles has no knowledge about canon events or anything related to it so he can’t be blamed for what he did. Gwen knows that, which is also a reason why she tried to stop him.

Miles then finds out about the structure of the Spider-Verse and about canon events. Miles also finds out that Gwen did not only try to save him but also stop him from disrupting the canon event.

When Miles finds out his fathers death is a canon event that has to occur you can see Gwen frowning. She knew this and now Miles knows it. There is no easy way to tell that to someone. Not if you’re close friends and not if you haven’t seen each other for a year. It pains Gwen that Miles has to go through that, and on top of that she can relate to it as well, because...

... Gwen’s father is also a Captain who’s death is a canon event. This adds another layer to her inner conflict. She believes in these canon events and therefore also believes that her father has to die. Gwen, in that aspect, is similar to Miguel. She accepts it, runs away from it. Similar to how she runs away from the conflict with her father.

Miles confronts the other Spider’s and tells them he can’t sit back and let his father die. He then tells Gwen, referencing her earlier statement, that she was right and that she never should have visited her. Miles does NOT say that because he hates Gwen. He says that because he is distraught and because of the fact that if Gwen hadn’t shown up he’d still be in his dimension. (Where he wants to be to protect his father) Gwen starts to cry because this is OBVIOUSLY not how she wanted it to go and how she wanted Miles to find out. The fact is: There was never a right time or way to explain it to Miles. Gwen isn’t an emotionless puppet that never struggles or is perfect. She loves Miles and she simply couldn’t bring it over her heart to tell him that his father will die and that he isn’t supposed to be Spider-Man. She wants him to be happy and to be safe, and from her perspective the best way to do that is to keep him away from the Spider-Society.

When Miguel traps Miles to stop him from going home Gwen and Peter get really agitated. “That’s enough.” “Stop it Miguel.” They don’t want to be on opposite sides to Miles. They want to talk it out. Of course the chance for that is now gone. You can still see that both still very much are on “Miles’ side”. Gwen is put into a situation where she is forced to choose between her friend or the Spider-Society.

While they chase Miles, Jess confronts Gwen and tells her that even though Miles is Gwen’s friend, capturing him is the only way. Gwen then tells Jess that that’s not what her gut says. This, again, shows her conflict. She KNOWS she is supposed to be on Miles’ side. It’s what her gut is saying. It’s what her heart is saying. Her head is still thinking that the multiverse must be protected, and that canon events must be stopped from being disrupted.

She then listens to her head and tries to grab Miles with her web. The look on her face says it all. It’s pain, love and an apology all in one. Miles destroys the web, symbolic for their trust. Miles breaks the net, he is saying that he doesn’t trust Gwen anymore. Gwen knows that, which is why after Miles breaks the net her look is one of complete sadness and disbelief. Not disbelief because she couldn’t imagine Miles not trusting her but rather diesbelief because she can’t believe it has come this far.

She continues the chase for Miles because she doesn’t know what else to do. When Miguel calls for every Spider-Man after they found out Miles’ location you can see Gwen having a look of dread and defeat on her face. She did’t want it to go this far. She still wants to talk it out and make up with him. She feels sorry and is slowly starting to regret her choices.

While on the train Gwen and Peter keep calling out to Miguel, telling him that he should stop and to take it easy on Miles. Miguel doesn’t listen.

This scene is where the trust between Miles and Gwen is broken completely. Miles finds out that Gwen knew all along that he is an anomoly and that his father is supposed to die. He finds out that Gwen didn’t know how to tell him that and that that’s one of the reasons she didn’t come to visit him.

Gwen then tells Miles that its for his own good, a lie she told herself to make her feel better. She full on regrets her choices by now. She knows she made a mistake but feels too distraught to really do anything about it. Her world slowly comes crashing down on her.

Miles is able to overpower Miguel and sends him flying down the train. The way Gwen looks down at Miguel is really interesting. Its a look of pride and relief. She is proud of how far Miles has come that he is able to escape from Miguel and reliefed that he was actually able to.

While Gwen thinks that now the way is free for her and Peter to get to Miles and explain everything to him, Miles just gives them a look of hurt, sadness and betrayal. He then says “Goodbye Gwen”, again mirroring Gwen’s goodbye earlier in the movie. Both were sad but for very different reasons.

The change of expression from Gwen says it all. This goodbye from Miles, in his eyes, is final. He feels betrayed and hurt and just wants to get home to save his dad. While Gwen and Peter probably want to just talk to Miles and explain everything, Miles may think they want to capture him, too. And Miles can’t take that chance.

After Miles decides to jump Gwen, again, has an expression of relief on her face. This time the relief is because Miles managed to really escape Miguel and the other Spiders. She knows Miles will be safe, for now.

Miles manages to escape and Gwen is furious with Miguel. Furious as to how he treated Miles and how he managed the whole ordeal.

She speaks up and Miguel blames Gwen for the Spider-Society losing Miles. This is where Gwen starts to see that she actually doesn’t have the Spider-Societies back and that she should have taken Miles’ side from the beginning. She slowly realizes the true extent of her mistake.

Gwen then proposes to talk it out with Miles, on her own. Miguel refuses, saying they tried that already.

She goes on to tell that Miles is her friend and is starting to question the whole “Canon event” topic. “Do you know for certain what happens when he breaks the Canon?” She is starting to fully side with Miles.

Miguel tells her he knew from the beginning that her relationship with Miles was a liability. Gwen looks to Jess for support but doesn’t get it. She is now on her own, same as Miles.

Gwen gets sent to her home universe, the thing she dreaded most. The last thing she tells Miguel is that they are supposed to be the good guys. That shows where she stands in regards to the conflict inside herself. She now knows that what Miguel and the Society does is wrong. She was on the Society’s side, now she is on Miles’ side.

She immediately tries to go to Miles’ dimension but she is locked out from using the dimension watch. Miguel denied her access. Gwen is furious and now trapped in her home dimension.

She returns home and wants to collect the polaroid of her and Miles. She doesn’t want to confront her father yet, but we all knew it was inevitably coming.

Gwen confronts her dad and opens up to him. She pours her heart out and tells him how she really feels. Remember, Gwen is a 16 year old girl. She carried the burden of her rensponsibility and the conflict inside her while still always trying to do the right thing. But she says it best in this scene, “She doesn’t know what right or wrong is anymore.” The entire time she believed these canon events to be absolute and followed through with the Spider-Society’s plans because she thought it was the right thing to do. In the process she hurt and betrayed the only real friend she had. And that was the straw that broke the camels back. Her intentions are now clear.

“I can’t lose one more friend.” She doesn’t know whats right or whats wrong, all she knows is that she can’t lose Miles.

During her speech her father decides to quit his job as captain, freeing him from the canon event. This is when Gewn realizes that canon events might not be absolute and that they can be disrupted without dooming the dimension. She realizes Miles might have been doing the right thing all along.

After making up with her dad the only thing left to do for Gwen is to go and find Miles. With the help of Hobie’s watch that is actually possible now.

Gwen arrives in Miles’ universe and finds out that Miles is in the wrong universe. She overhears Rio and Jeff talk about Miles. They mention Miles lighting up when he is around Gwen and that they hope she doesn’t get him hurt. This is where the full realization of her actions become clear to Gwen. She hurt Miles and didn’t help him when he needed her the most, and she hates herself for that.

She blames herself for what happened to Miles, even though it is not her fault entirely.

Gwen tells Rio and Jeff that she is going to find Miles and bring him back. She also tells them what she learned from Miles. “All is possible.” This is the lesson Miles gives Gwen in this movie. It is a lesson she needed to learn. She now fully believes that anything is possible. This will come into play in Beyond the Spider-Verse when they are going to try and stop canon events from happening.

She resolves the conflict with her father, parts ways with the Spider-Society and has only one goal left now: To find and make up with Miles. In her arc Gwen faced the conflict of choosing her friend or the greater good. On one hand is Miles, who she obviously has feelings for. On the other hand there is the Spider-Society who tell her how the multiverse works and how dangerous Miles and other anomolies are. In the end, her friend won, though it was a harsh process that damaged their trust and relationship. Gwen is not perfect and isn’t always right. She is a 16 year old girl with tons of complex conflicts going on. She fights a constant battle with herself and her feelings. She makes mistakes, as do Miles, Peter, Miguel and the others. The important thing is that Gwen learns from these mistakes. This also shows that she doesn’t hate or not care about Miles like some people have said. If anything her actions show to which lengths she went for Miles to be safe. She knows she hurt Miles and is going to make up for it in Beyond the Spider-Verse.

#across the spiderverse #Spiderverse #gwen stacy #miles morales #spider man #spider gwen #spiderman #gwiles #miles x gwen #miles and gwen #ghostflower #beyond the spiderverse #across the spiderverse spoilers #spiderverse spoilers

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pocketsizedq · 3 months

Text

The ways they show affection

Lukas Dostal

-wakes you up with coffee

->come into your guys shared room.

->place a few kisses on your head helping you sit up handing you coffee either from your favorite place or some made at home if you are up when he’s getting ready for practice

-giving you all of his attention

->always loves to hear about your day or any new gossip you have learned

->would never tell you that he loves hearing the gossip but just loves seeing your eyes light up as you tell him all that’s going on at work

-always orders food if you say no

->He always makes sure to get extra food so you can have some too and that you never getting hungry and not have some food at home

-takes you to skate

->he loves skating with you as it’s his to favorite things and you both can just enjoy being on the ice together and can talk about things

-always text you reminds about things

->oh you’ve got a doctor appointment? He’s already texted you remind you. Have you drink any water today? Did you take your medicine? I love you.

->thoses are some of the things he would text you

Jamie Drysdale

- wearing a simple bracelet around his wrist for when you get nervous

->he’d notice how you would play with his fingers or like play with his arm hair when you are nervous so started wearing a bracelet around his wrist so you could play with it.

-always stands up for you

-whether it be you getting uncomfortable in a conversation or not wanting to face conflict. He’d get out of his way and push past his own anxiety to help you.

-deep conversations

->he loves when you both can just sit on the porch drinking a new bottle of wine he had gotten and talk about the future of your relationship or how you both are feeling mentally

-always does something out of the blue

->writing little letter to you,sending little voice messages about how much he loves you or taking you out on a random date

-complimenting you

->he always makes sure to compliment you everyday to make sure you know you are loved and special to him

Cole Caufield

-lets you wear his shoes when your heels get uncomfortable

->you both would be walking out of a club or something and he’d notice that your feet would start to bother you so he kindly offers you his shoes to which he has to insist on

->he would carry your heels and walk barefoot with you back to the car happy that you aren’t in pain

->he never would say no to traded shoes as he just wants you to be comfortable

-wears a bracelet you made him around his wrist

->he nearly cried when he found out you made him a little bracelet out of some of your old beads you had

->never takes it off as it’s a good luck charm now and always kisses it before putting it back on his wrist to go play a game

-always buys you alittle something every where he goes

->if he’s playing an away game he’d go and buy you something like a charm or something in the city that reminds you of the city he went to

-always reassuring you

->if you ever feel insecure? He’s your hype man

->always makes sure that your smiling around him and always tries to keep that frown upside down

-always tries to keep things positive around you

->he’s your sunshine. if you ever down he tries to pick you back up and wipe you off. Always makes sure your happy wither it’s cracking a joke or making a fool of himself always tries to keep a smile on your face

Adam Fantilli

-keeping a pad/tampon in his wallet for you

->always has one of him if you ever need it. he keeps both in there as he never remembers what you use but just keeps it on him

-spraying his cologne on your teddy bear when he has to leave

->he had gotten you a teddy bear with a umich shirt on it and he sprays it so you can cuddle it and know he loves you

->it even has a button on it that you can press and it says “I love you princess”

-wears a dog tag around his neck that has “I love you” engraved in your hand writing on it

->never takes it off and always wears it. You had gotten it for his 19th birthday and now calls it his lucky charm

-has a playlist made for you

->he had a made a playlist of songs that would remind you of him and that remind you that he’s all ways there for you and loves you.

-lets you rant

->he even if he has something big coming up would stay up with you after a game to listen to all of the stuff that is bothering you or is coming up.

Luca Fantilli

-kissing you every time you pout

->he’d jokely say no to something like going to get ice cream and you’d put on a fake pout to which he’d kiss and say “I’m just kidding baby”

->every time he sees even a small pout on your lips he’d kiss it

-love letters to the max

->he’d leave small letters in your car,backpack,your sports bag and dorm

->he just wants you to have something that you can take with you to remind you that he loves you and sometimes it’s just even a small smiley face saying “thinking of you”

-smacking your butt

->if you watch out for booty man.

->in a loving way if your walking up the stairs or in front of him he’d give your butt a squish to remind you that he’s there

-putting his head on your boobs

->He started doing it more when you got pregnant with your guys first kid and would always keep his head on your chest and a hand on your bump rubbing it.

-keeping a hair tie around his wrist

->he always has one around his wrist which comes in handy sometimes if you ever need your hair pulled back

Nico Hischier

-keeps eyes on you at all times

->wether you are cooking or out in public he always keeps an eye on you in a protective way making sure nothing happens to you.

->as he knows the dangers of Newark and the area of the city and he also doesn’t want you to silp up and accidentally cut yourself without him knowing

-braiding your hair

->he started doing it by himself but was worried he would tangle your hair so he asked you to teach him

->now anytime your sick or need your hair up he would braid it. Also has started watching YouTube videos on more ways to braid it

-puts his beanie on your head

->if he notices your ears even getting a hint of red in color he’s will take his beanie off his head putting it on yours and says “shush just wear it”

-writes your initial on his stick

->always after you both started getting serious he started putting your first and last letter on his stick with a heart as he thinks it would bring him more good luck

-always checks up on you

->wether it’s a small message or a 10 minute call every day he makes sure you are okay and doing okay

Jack Hughes

-covering corners when you lean over

->he’s like a slient protector. If you ask him about it he wouldn’t know what your talking about but he would always cover corners so you wouldn’t hit your head

-warms up a towel for you

->anytime your about to shower or in the shower he always makes sure to throw your towel in the dryer so it’s nice and warm when you come out.

-cooks for you

->from the articles it’s says that Jack is a good cook so he takes his chief abilities and makes you dinner when ever he can

->learns how to cook your favorite meal and cooks it for you every now and then

-being your cheerleader

-> he always has someone shouting for him including you but he wanted to be shouter for once and always cheers you on in anything you do whether it’s your job or just working out

-always sending you good morning and good night text

-if he’s not home he always makes sure to tell you good morning and night with a heart and I love you with it

Luke Hughes

-always has your favorite snacks at his place (Jack’s)

->literally has a sticky note on the snacks that say “don’t touch theses are for y/n”

->always makes sure you are fed and happy

-showers you with compliments

->he always reminds you how beautiful you are and how lucky he is to have you

-cuddles

->always is holding you close and just keeping you close

->is strong cuddler and just knowing you are right by him gives him peace of mine

-compromising with you

->is always open to hearing your side before barking down the bush with you and never wants to upset you with arguing

-scratching your back

->every night before you fall asleep you always fell him start to scratch your back to help you fall asleep

Quinn Hughes

- definitely a play fighter

->you both would be cuddling then he’d start tickling you which would turn into you both play fighting and him just loving at you with loving eyes.

-always tries to make time with you

->he’s a busy man with being captain and everything so he always try to find ways to spend time with you

-reading with you

->would let you lay your head in his lap as he read the new book he had bought to you

-buys you different rings from stores he goes to

->he buys a ring for you in all the different places he goes so it would be like you went there with him

-has a keychain of your initials on his keys

->it’s a small way of him showing you that you have his heart

Maveric Lamoureux

-leans down to hear you

-> he’s a tall dude

->so he has to lean down to hear you which makes you blushy which he finds cute but he also thinks communication is important so to him leaning down to hear you is a way of showing he love you

-buys you new flowers every week

->always likes to get you fresh flowers. It’s a little thing he started when you both got serious and he’s continues to do it. It has now became a tradition

-rest his elbow on your head

->he does this to annoy you because he loves seeing the way your face goes and also a way of showing he is by your side

-translate different items or conversations

->if you are around him when he is talking to someone in French he would take his time to translate it all for you or if your in a all French grocery store he would translate the items for you

-leaves cute little sticky note affirmations on your stuffs

->leaves sticky notes everywhere so you know how beautiful and special you are

Mason Mctavish

-remembers the small things

->he reminds when you both first met and the place where you met. When he first asked you out.

-sitting with you in the mornings

-> his mornings are usually pretty busy but always tries to find time with you in the morning just to go over what you both are doing that day

-sleeps by the door

->always tries to make sure you are safe and makes sure you know that he will protect you and one the ways he shows you that is by sleeping near the door

-kisses you every time you walk by

->every time he sees you or goes near you he will kiss you on the lips with a big smile

-gives you space when you need it

->always can tell if something going on and you need space

Fraser Minten

-holding hands

->would kiss your knuckles one by one looking up at you with a soft smile before he starts driving

->while driving or walking around he’d subconsciously rubbing his thumb over your knuckles

-talking with you at late nights when you can’t sleep

->he’d always stay up with you talking random things or tell you how the game went if your still up and can’t sleep at night

->he’d tell you random stories or memories he had as a kid

-putting a blanket over when he finds you asleep

->he’d come back home from a late game to find you sleeping on the couch and would put a blanket over you

->anytime he finds you sleeping on the couch he’d put a blanket over you

-feeding you

->if you are sick or tired and had eating anything he’d sit there and feed you every last bite of what you have to eat as he doesn’t want you to get sick or sicker from not eating

-wears a chain around his neck that has your lucky number

->the number reminds him of you and the necklace has now became his lucky charm and it always reminds him he has you to come home to.

Juraj Slafkovsky

-patting your head

->if your shorter than him he likes to just pat you on the head when he sees you doing something like homework and cooking dinner instead of wrapping his arms around your waist

-washing your hair

->he enjoys washing your hair especially when he knows it relaxes you and gently scratches your scalp too.

-teaching you sovak

->He noticed how you were trying to learn it on your own so you could talk with him more so he started to teach you.

->he would say something in sovak and then make you point at what he meant

-sitting with you and telling you stories

->he tells you about his hometown and how he’d love for one day that he could bring you there

-late night ice cream

->once you both moved in together is when you both started to have a late night ice cream run definitely when he is home

Jeremy Swayman

-cleans with you

->if he ever comes home to you cleaning he would throw on some music and start helping you clean

-always has a hand or arm on you or around you

->he always keeps a arm around you to keep you safe when you both are in public and even when not in public always has his arms around you

-gives you hugs and kisses through out the day

->if he doesn’t get his morning kiss from you he’s a grumpy man

->always loves giving you Hugs and kisses

-gives you his full attention

->will sit there and listen to your day and just nods his head until you want him to speak

-always says thank you to you

->wether it be you cooking dinner or just telling you how much you appreciate him he always says thank you

Trevor Zegras

-has a nighttime routine with you

->whenever it’s a home game and he can come back to you you both have a routine you both do together.

->a shower together then skin care and then you both talk about eachother days together

-will pull you into his lap and tell you he loves you

->he would do it right in front of the boys and not afraid to show affection to you even when around the boys

-Surprise you With a Fun Activity he doesnt Normally Do

->would bring you to a movie theater out of nowhere or go to the park and plays on the playground with you like little kids

-always randomly squishing your face

->when you pout your face gets squish. when you just smile at him? Your face gets squished.

-has his favorite picture of you in his wallet

->the picture is from your guys first date and he keeps it on him to remind him how lucky he is to have you

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rileyslibrary · 1 year

Text

An Unlikely Duo

Request by ✨ anon: Can I perhaps get a Ghost x GN!Reader, where reader got transferred to TF 141 and has two personalities? Like cold and badass on the battlefield and super friendly and chirpy back at base. So Reader, on day 1, already sees Ghost as a best friend and she loves hugs, so she decides to hug him after a missions success and leaves him frozen and a blushing mess?

Relationship: Simon “Ghost” Riley x GN!Reader

Word Count: 1,310

Notes:

Big thanks to my ✨ anon for requesting this. I enjoyed writing it! Hope I did well on my first request!

Fluff (the platonic kind)

Want more?

��——————————————————————

You walk behind him, holding a container filled with freshly washed strawberries. His strides are long and confident, making it hard for you to keep up with him as you walk to the truck.

“Would you like a strawberry?” You ask, extending the container to him, but he ignores you and quickens his pace.

You try to catch your breath as you follow him, but it’s difficult. Whenever you think you’re closing the gap, he increases his speed and pulls away again. You break into a light jog to stay close.

“So, I presume... you’re not... a strawberry fan?” You ask, out of breath. Instead of responding, he lets out a dismissive “tsk” and continues walking.

“Why don’t you like str-”

“Get that damn thing away from me and keep moving,” he says as he pushes your hand away. “We have work to do; no time for strawberries.”

You come to a complete halt. “With all due respect, Lieutenant, strawberries are-”

“Just get in the damn car,” he orders, opening the back door and gesturing for you to get inside.

It’s your first day as the newest member of Task Force 141, and the base already feels like a powder keg. But that doesn’t bother you; you’re excited to be a part of such an elite team and contribute as much as possible to future missions. Soap and Gaz were surprised but amused by your cheerful personality when they met you this morning. However, not everyone on the team seems to be on the same page; Ghost was less than impressed. He sized you up from head to toe, looking for any sign that you were ready for the mission. But, instead of finding comfort, he was met by your cheery attitude and endless questions about his fruit preferences.

“What is this, Captain?” He grumbled at Price, “I asked for an explosives specialist, not a fucking Jack Russell.”

“Laswell swears by their abilities,” Price reassured him, “just give ’em a chance, brother...”

Despite his trust in the captain, Ghost remained skeptical. Was it the way you expressively waved your hands while speaking? Was it because you couldn’t stop talking about strawberries? Was it because you couldn’t stop talking in general? Whatever the reason, Ghost was clearly not on board.

He has the same attitude as he sits across from you in the truck, driving to your assigned mission. It’s a look of concern and contempt. as if he can’t believe what fate has brought him this time—like he’s been dealt bad cards yet again.

But that’s okay; you’re used to feeling like an outcast, and you’re not going to let that get in the way of this mission’s success.

“Yo, Lt.?” You ask excitedly, attempting to break the ice by pulling a purple star-shaped charm from your pocket, “Do you like it?”

He looks at you with half-lidded eyes. “You look like you just got out of a toy store.” He comments flatly.

“That wasn’t my question, sir,” you say wryly, “and if that’s the case, then you look like you just got back from trick-or-treating.” You smile and attach the charm to your assault rifle.

“Take that off this instance,” he says, “I won’t let you and your sparkles hinder our position.”

“Okay, first of all, they’re not sparkles—they’re sequins,” you say, waving your gun around so he can see the charm, “and second, they won’t even see it when they’re dead.”

“Stop talking.” He sighs.

“I’m conversing, not talking.”

“Then stop conversing.”

“Like, who doesn’t like strawberries?” you ask, lowering your voice.

“I told you to stop.”

“And sequins are pretty cool, man.” You mutter to yourself as you cross your hands over your chest.

“Shut it and put your helmet on; we’re almost there,” Ghost says sternly.

You fall silent as you gaze out the window at the passing scenery. The tension in the truck is intense, but you refuse to let it get to you. Instead, you take a deep breath and relax.

As the truck comes to a stop, Ghost explains the goal of the mission: get to the door where the valuable information is stored and collect as much intel as possible. After his brief rundown, you quickly exit the vehicle and assume position. It’s game time, and you’re determined to prove to everyone what you’re capable of.

You move fluidly through the environment, using your firearms, knives, and bare hands with precision to take out any targets that come your way. You are agile and swift, never staying in one place for too long and using your surroundings to your advantage. He takes quick glimpses at you every now and then to check if you are okay. He seems impressed yet wary; as if he’s testing you to see if you’re up for the challenge, yet careful enough to not put you in danger. As you work through the guarded area, you keep calm and focus on the task, finally reaching the steel-framed door. However, the door remains unyielding despite using military-grade hammers and refuses to budge.

You turn towards Ghost to plan your next move when you notice an enemy approaching him from behind.

“Get down, Lt.!” You yell and throw a knife at the enemy. The lieutenant is stunned but quickly regains his composure. He turns to thank you, but you cut him off.

“This isn’t a playground, Lt.; I don’t need a babysitter, and I certainly won’t become yours.” You firmly tell him as you push him aside and place the purple star-shaped charm on the door’s lock. “Step back,” you order.

Ghost looks at you, puzzled.” What is-”

“You must learn when it’s the right time for chit-chat and when to listen to the specialist, sir; please take a step back.” You repeat, and he follows your instructions.

With everyone clear of the area, you pull the cord and duck for cover. Five seconds later, your bomb detonates, blasting open the door and granting you access to the information inside. You quickly survey the room and pinpoint the location of the vital information. You approach it with calculated precision, relying on your training and experience to predict potential threats. The room is full of guards, but you’re prepared for them; you take them out, using your weapons with deadly accuracy. The intel is kept in a secure case, and you begin working on cracking it open. You have a special tool for the job, and the lock gives way in seconds. You open the case and extract the valuable information.

After a quick glance at the documents, you are pleased to see that it is exactly what you were hoping for. Ghost calls for backup to secure the scene, collect the documents, and transport them back to the base. As he completes his orders, he turns to the team for a debriefing, but instead is met by the old, cheerful you.

“LT., WE DID IT!” You yell and leap onto Ghost, wrapping your arms around his waist and hugging him tightly. He freezes and raises his hands as if he’s been arrested for a crime.

“Get off me,” he orders with an unusually high-pitched voice.

“No, you deserve it.” You object and proceed to pat him on the back.

“I did nothing wrong to deserve this, soldier; get your fucking ha-”

“Shhh, Lieutenant.” You cut him off by putting your hand over his mouth to silence him. “You must feel the hug.”

“I said-”

“They’re right, Ghost,” Soap interrupts him with a sinister grin, “you must feel the hug.”

“Yeah, listen to the specialist, sir,” Gaz adds, trying hard not to laugh.

Ghost looks at Price for help, who has a satisfied smirk on his face. The captain turns to Ghost and mouths an inaudible “told you so,” establishing you as a valuable member of their team from now on.

———————————————————————

#simon ghost riley x gn!reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley #call of duty #modern warfare 2 #cod mwii #✨ anon #simon riley #cod mw2 #cod ghost

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lyomeii · 10 months

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adorable and innocent

✥ warnings: yandere themes, platonic relationships, spoilers, death mentions, reader being neglected.

✥ request by anon! Hello! Can you do yandere Athanasia and Yandere Claude with Innocent Reader who is Claude daughter but Athanasia younger sister?

✥ a/n: yes, i can! anon :) also the end might be quiet rush since i didn’t know how to end so yeah.

✥ the second daughter of claude was different from athanasia. born from a contract marriage with a noble lady, the little girl grown up to be lonely most of her time at the palace. since father was always busy with his work or preferring to be by himself and mother who was dead due a carriage accident earlier that year.

✥ even with the lack of parenting from both sides, that didn’t stop the young girl to become someone kind to the servants and to athanasia herself. the two girls who were ignored by their parents become closer to each other, become each other pillar as everyone were against them. inside their little minds, nothing could go wrong.

✥ until that very day when athanasia was accused of poisoning jennete and sentenced to death. that moment made you cry in the middle of the public, begging father that athy would never do such thing to anyone, but he didn’t listen your pleads. athanasia lost her life and you lost your sister that day, making you become depressing and once of age, you were thrown into a loveless nobleman from another empire.

✥ in the new timeline, athy won’t left that happen. knowing about how the plot will happen, she will rewrite the tragic destiny between you and her, making sure they both of you will get the happy end that you always dreamed about it.

✥ first, when your biological mother died, instead of searching for claude for any type of emotional support, athy was the one who comforted you. the tears of your eyes dirty her nightgown was more than enough to realize how precious you are too this words, she can’t afford to lose you again.

✥ times goes on, athy and you grown up to become closer than ever. unfortunately, things take a different turn when both of you first meet claude that day. the emperor stares at both athy and you.

✥ claude forget about the existence about the two of you, he can’t deny that. yet, the blond never expected to see the two of his children together and playing with jewelry at the back of the garden. he can’t change the past, of course, but he change the way he will treat the two of better for now on.

✥ athy plan wasn’t to make claude care about her and you, yet she can ask him for jewelry and maybe gold for the future escape. but for some reason, she feels bad about me it.

✥ despite all the pain you’ve been through, your naivety always lead you to wish for claude affection since she can remembers and now, you’ve catch his attention alongside with gifts and candies that bring a sweet smile on your face. maybe staying around the palace is a better way to protect you.

✥ now the two of you live a better life as Claude recognize their daughters. the servants now treat you so diligently and care about your safety, not letting you go out of the palace since the emperor himself ordered to all the residents that unlike athanasia, you can’t never leave home alone. his words were clear and sharp to those who serve him, and those who disobey him will suffer.

@lyomeii stuff || don’t repost

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capriciouscapsss · 1 year

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How Will Your F/S Pursue You♚

Book A Reading With Me 💞

today, as i finish up the last of my readings for the week, i am eager to return just to make another reading talking about how your f/s will pursue you! go ahead and book a reading if you'd like to learn more about your future spouse or don't, whatever's fine 😭 today I'm doing a short reading since again I don't have that much time but I still want to make something cute 💞 with that being said...let's get started 💞💞

we have four piles; intuitively choose the one you're most drawn to.

Pile I. woman sm*king

[8oS, 9oS, 2oS, KoW, 7oC, the fool, p, s.c]

your person pursues you in a more laidback way. they're very unsure of themselves, most of them not likely to go ahead and pursue you without being sure that you're even in to them in the first place. they're quite shy. i can see them being the type of people that only stare at you when they know you're not watching. looking at you when you look at something else with a small smile on their face. thinking of you constantly. asking themselves if you like them or not. they might even be in a state of unrest, a will they won't they type of thing when it comes to pursuing you.

once they know though...then they change. they start acting different. start carrying themselves with more confidence. they start joking about so much lmao, almost like since they know that you're reciprocating their energy they feel comfortable enough to show you their true selves. also the type that feels that, after knowing you like them, will start to fantasize a lot about what could be. like they see you somewhere and they think about you for hours after.

pursuing you would be them being super shy at first, acting like you're not there. and then once they start getting the vibe that you're feeing them as well, that's when they start vibing more. being spontaneous, saying stuff that'll catch you off guard. being more possessive, grabbing at your waist or simply just letting people know that there's something going on between you both.

now please understand, these people will mess up. they might not say the right thing or do the right thing all the time. in fact, i think the f/s of this pile will be the one that messes up the most. they're not that experienced in the area of love, but one thing i will tell you is that having them pursue you is chaotic and funny but most of all warm.

Pile II. lonely in a movie theater

[the emperor, 4oW, KoS, Justice, 10oC, 10oS]

smooth talker fr. someone who knows how to worm their way into the heart of who they're talking to. i feel like they like to talk about the future. when you both are together they might look at random stuff and tell you to think of both of you doing those things together. they make themselves appear bigger too lmao like a peacock showing off their feathers.

also, things will get a little dark for a second so bare with me but, they're not people who know what happiness exactly is. they don't have a good picture of a happy healthy relationship.

that's why they seem to chase it with such vigor. they want what they've never had. they've likely grown up around people with silver tongues, people that can say exactly what you want to hear. might even be a fan of baby talk or just sweetening their words a lot. i also feel like that your person might highlight your differences to them a great deal. for ex. if they have dark hair and you have light hair you'll hear them say "if we have kids, i want them to have your hair"

being with you will also put them out of their comfort zone, like finding out that their words can also be met with actions. their words speaking of their future with you and their actions making sure no one tries to get with you in order to make it happen. telling you your attractive and making sure they show you off at the same time.

Pile III. riding a motorcycle

[PoW, 9oP, 2oW, AoP, AoC,Strength]

a definite gift giver. like this is giving me taurus/2nd house venus energy. someone that doesn't know how to love in words or actions but they're definitely good gift givers. they're very romantic. whether it be a small gift or a big one they're definitely going to deliver.

they like showing you their idea of what a better life could be at their side. might like taking you on trips fully paid. they have moneyyy. i imagine them taking you to a vacation spot and telling you about this plate on the menu that they love but you haven't tried; they're going to do all they can to make sure you try it as well. even if it means you ordering two plates lmao.

also i believe that they could win you over by just being there for you. supporting you, making sure that you're well cared for. loving you even in the hardest of times. they'd like to also act like they were hurt in order for you to take care of them lmao.

probably likes teasing you and commenting on how much you love him more. how you're the one who's fallen hopelessly in love all whilst knowing that they're the one that's fallen hard. might be a little more on the dramatic side lmao, think wattpad king falling for the calm and collected wallflower.

Pile IV. riding in the passenger seat

[AoW, 9oS, 8oS, 2oC, The Fool, QoP]

a mess in a heart shaped bottle. they don't know how to act. they're the type of people that change tactics easily. one moment they're totally going to go for it and the next they don't know how to approach you correctly.

they're Katy Perry's "Hot and Cold" personified. like they remind me a bit of Stiles from Teen wolf. they can be the type of person that feels like they have a 15 year plan then just like he did, they throw caution to the wind and ditch all that for a chance to talk to you. their way of coming to you is from all angles and from no where all at once. acts like they have no interest and then they forget about all that and they're professing love to you.

they'll behave very weirdly lmao. i mean i can imagine them going to you and telling you about their plans with you. trying to win you over slowly. taking you on dates. treating you with care and respect. being careful to not even touch you LMAO and then i can see them forget about all that and just be spontaneous. taking you on last minute adventures, calling you out of the blue. stuff like that.

will get crazy if they find out someone's trying to steal you from them but they also love the chase. love knowing that you're into them but almost acting coy? I can also see them approaching you as a friend at first. Aquarius vibes? but with a stable purpose. so aqua and taurus mixed.

#pick a card #pick a pile #pick a card reading #pac reading #intuitive reading #intuition #astro notes #FS pac #fs reading

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nicromancytarot · 2 months

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WILL YOU DATE YOUR CELEBRITY CRUSH?

This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.

I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I don’t change for these readings and I do not fake readings.

PICK A PILE CHANNELING

I asked my spirit guides if you would ever stumble across the opportunity of dating your celebrity crush, pick a pile to find out what they had to say!!

Pile 1 ———> Pile 2 ———> Pile 3

Pile 4 ———> Pile 5 ———> Pile 6

Pile 7 ———> Pile 8 ———> Pile 9

DISCLAIMER: This is purely for fun and entertainment, this is based on where you are now in your life, as free will can affect your path. This is not to fuel anyone’s parasocial behaviour.

PILE 1

3 of swords, 6 of cups, 4 of wands, judgement, 6 of pentacles, the magician

Yes!

I do see this being a possibility of an opportunity which will come up for you. With the 3 of swords I see this celebrity coming into your life more prominently after a heartbreak, something I believe will be you having experienced. The 6 of cups gives me the thought that your celebrity crush will be the person to help build you back up again, and help you become the person you were before. The 4 of wands is marriage dude, you guys have a high possibility of not only dating, but also marrying your desired celebrity.

Your relationship seems to be one that you have prayed or manifested for, the universe listened to you. Honestly you might have tried to manifest someone with the characteristics, and appearance of your celebrity crush, but the universe was just kind of like “fuck it, let’s just give them the real deal.”

PILE 2

The knight of wands reversed, page of pentacles, queen of cups, queen of wands, ace of pentacles, 7 of swords

Yes!

I see this being something you will have the opportunity to experience. With the knight of wands reversed, I would say in order to be with your celebrity crush, you would have to release an ex of yours, it’s as if you have a choice to either try something new, or stick with the old.

This ex of yours may have caused you a lot of drama and trouble in the past, your celebrity crush is the opposite, with the page of pentacles, and the queen of cups, I can see that they offer you stability in all forms, unlike the ex of yours.

I do see that this relationship won’t be all you would expect it to be, not in a bad way, but your celebrity doesn’t seem as though they are their real self when they are posing for cameras or talking to their fans, it’s nothing bad, they are just a lot different than what you expected.

However, I do think this will be a long term relationship, and you will feel very comfortable with them, as they shall with you.

PILE 3

The lovers reversed, the knight of pentacles in reversed, 6 of swords, ace of pentacles, the king of wands, the wheel of fortune

No.

I unfortunately do not see this as something you will have the opportunity of experiencing, I see there will already be someone in your life by the time you even could possibly have the opportunity, I’m feeling a lot of young Pedro Pescal fans here. This other person in your love life is being described as your person, your soulmate, your future spouse. You will not want this celebrity by the time you have this person.

With the knight of pentacles in reverse, and the 6 of swords, I do not think you have the patience to wait until you are old enough to be with this person, and therefore your path will be diverted to meet your own person.

PILE 4

7 of wands, the high priestess, the page of wands, 6 of wands, death, the star

Yes!

I do see this being an opportunity that you will have the privilege of experiencing. With the seven of wands, I do feel as though you will have to work to get it however, same goes with the high priestess, you may even manifest this person, intentionally or unintentionally.

With the death and the star, I do see that you will be mentally transformed into a different person when in this relationship, your celebrity may be older or more mature than you, they will help you be more wise like them lmao.

PILE 5

The chariot, the page of wands, the ace of wands, the star, the knight of pentacles, the queen of cups

No.

I do not see you having the opportunity of experiencing dating your celebrity crush. With the chariot and page of wands, I honestly think you’ll be too busy doing other things by the time that your able to meet this person. With the page of wands, it’s like you’re creating something else, building a relationship, perhaps career by this point. The ace of wands shows me a quick moving on, so honestly you may even be over this celebrity in a few months-years.

The star, again with self improvement, this person really won’t be that important in your life soon. They could get cancelled or something, turn out to be a bad person, and therefore dating them won’t really align with your beliefs.

PILE 6

10 pentacles, 9 wands, 5 swords reversed, 5 wands, the world, the knight of cups

Yes!

I do see the ability of you receiving the opportunity to date your celebrity crush. With the 10 of pentacles, I can see you honestly might meet this person, feeling a sense of excitement, but not much expectation, perhaps they will ask for your number, or they will initiate more of a conversation with you. You’ll go home to you family and friends, telling them about this crazy experience.

I see they will be quick to contact you again, with the 9 of wands, and the 5 of swords reversed, I can tell that they might be wanting to let you know how serious they are about pursuing you, which is why they contact you so quickly.

With the knight of cups, they will most likely be the one to actually ask you to be in a relationship with them, they will be the one to initiate the commitment, showing you once again how serious they are to make this a long term thing. With the world I notice that this relationship, and the attention alone from your celebrity crush, will be making you have a lot more self love, and it will help you if you have suffered from self doubt and self hatred in the past.

PILE 7

Death reversed, the queen of cups reversed, 8 of swords, the sun, the ace of cups, the wheel of fortune

No.

I unfortunately don’t see you having the opportunity to be in a relationship with your celebrity crush. With death in reverse, along with the queen of cups also in reverse, it seems that you may still be a fan of this person by the time you perhaps meet them, or are old enough to date them. Being a fan of this person at that time would not offer you any stability in your relationship, and the power dynamic would be very evident.

The 8 of swords is showing me that this relationship would make either of you feel very isolated, almost like they have to be careful around you since you’re a fan, or you put them on a pedestal since they’re your idol.

The sun, the ace of cups, and the wheel of fortune are telling me that you will achieve everything you desire, other than dating this person of course. I see that this person can totally help you mentally in the way that you approach relationships, they may even offer you advice, or tips, in a non parasocial way, as I do not believe you will ever know this person on a personal level.

PILE 8

9 of pentacles, 2 of wands reversed, 6 of cups, the queen of wands, 7 of swords, the knight of pentacles

Yes!

I do see this being an opportunity for you to be able to experience. With the 9 of pentacles, it definitely seems like a very flourishing relationship, one filled with a lot of happiness, and abundance in all forms.

I do unfortunately with the 2 of wands in reverse believe that this may be a short lived relationship, it will certainly feel worth it’s time, and such an incredible thing for both parties to have experienced, however I do not think it will last long.

With the 6 of cups in contrast with the 7 of swords, I do think this will be a connection which will help you see your own worth, deal with past trauma and betrayal, perhaps even teaching both you want in relationships. It will be one of those things that you always look back on and think about with a smile, however I don’t imagine it will last forever.

PILE 9

Strength, the tower, the queen of swords, the hierophant, 4 of cups, the chariot

Yes!

I do see you facing this possibility in the future. This is an odd pile, an interesting one, but certainly something different. I think you will be working within the same space as this person by the time you meet, or you will know people who work with them, creating some mutual friend group.

I think with the strength card, and the tower, you will honestly be trying to act normal around this person, trying your hardest not to make it clear that you used to be a fan of them, or even that you are currently still a fan of them.

I notice that they may pick up on your nervous energy, they seem like a picky person with the 4 of cups, so they may like that you’re not paying much mind to them, they’re very used to people jumping all over them, so your celebrity certainly respects your distance from them, although they feel like that creates a challenge for them to conquer.

This will be very unexpected for you, you may even think you’re dreaming when it happens, however I see this being a long-lived connection, one of many abundances and dreams to be fulfilled.

I’m also picking up that they may think it’s comical that you were such a big fan of them, but they really, really like it.

#pick a card #tarot #tarot reading #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #free tarot #tarot witch #daily tarot #pick a pile #tarot cards

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thirddeyetarot · 4 months

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YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE

PAC reading. Pick the picture you feel the most drawn to. Follow your intuition.

I feel that those who chose this card will find their future spouse in your home country, or similar standard of living as yours. (like for example if you're from the balkan, they might have the same culture as yours, so a person from a balkan country too) I could even write it down as e.g. You've lived in the same city as them all in your life, but you've never met before, because somehow their life paths always avoided yours, and only met later in life. (Like as the invisible string theory). Their first impression of you could be how good your energy is, and they respect your accepting and open personality. Their personalities are similar to yours, reader, I could even write this down as a twin flame bond, and in addition, it can also mean that they have similar goals for the future as you. I see that your relationship will be very prosperous and may even lead to marriage after a while, mutual respect and appreciation from both parties, this person will be your no.1 supporter, true feelings and pure love, they will fall in love with your soul, not only your look or finances, beautiful romance.❤️

A song that could describe the vibes of this reading:

You will meet this particular person in a country that is foreign to you, possibly on a career-related trip or could be a vacation too. The first thing they will think about you is how determined and ambitious you are, a determined person. This person has a very young and playful personality, loves adventure and joking around. This could even be your first true love, the first person with whom you can really express the child inside you and let youself be happy. (I'm sorry it might sound bit cringy, but they seem like a golden retriever type of person if we talk about appariences here😭) Although I don't really see marriage here, I see that this person really likes to travel and gain new experiences, learn about different cultures, I see that they are willing to dedicate their lives to travel as well so that will definitely be their focus, you have to adapt to this whether you want to or not. Family and friends will receive them very well, they have quite a pleasant and welcoming energy with them.

A song that could describe the vibes of this reading:

I see that there are two possible options as to where you will meet them: either on a social platform, or on a tour/ festival/ trip. Their first impression will probably be your calming nature and how you can provide them a safe environment where they can comfortable in. This person has a rather mystical and cold aura, it is quite difficult to gain their trust, maybe because of a past trauma. They are hopeless romantics and quite talented in the arts. In this relationship, both of you will heal each other, and help of letting go of fears. It is possible that you need to take on a more protective role to make it easier for them to get comfortable. It will be necessary for you to be there to them in order for them to feel the care you give them, and grow together as partners. It can be a karmic relationship, a karmic partner amd bond from a past life of yours.

A song that could describe the vibes of this reading:

#pac reading #tarot reading #intuition #tarot #reading #future spouse #Spotify

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betterthanburrow · 7 months

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Afterglow - Joe Burrow

Summary: After weeks of purposefully avoiding a conversation that you need to have with Joe regarding your future together, your relationship is put at risk because of your overthinking thoughts… In order to safe your relationship, you’ll just have to learn that the future will be okay.

Genre: Angst (Establish Relationship)

“Tell Me That You're Still Mine. Tell Me That We'll Be Just Fine. Even When I Lose My Mind… Tell Me That It's Not My Fault. Tell Me That I'm All You Want. Even When I Break Your Heart.” Taylor Swift; Afterglow.

As football season has just come to an end, there are people already talking about the upcoming football season that is months away… Just a few weeks ago, your boyfriend Joe Burrow played his last college football game and won the National Championship for LSU which has made every college football fan excited to see what is the next step in his football career.

The people in the media are starting to talk about the upcoming NFL Draft which is still two months away and the rumors have been going around of which NFL team Joe Burrow will be drafted too… And your family and friends have already began to discuss your boyfriend’s career in the NFL before he is even drafted.

Despite all of these conversations happening, you’ve decided to not participate in these conversations… When people would ask you about the rumors that the media has been spreading about which NFL teams have been in contract with Joe, all you do is smile and say that you don’t know anything because it’s true, you don’t know anything because you don’t want to know.

The transition between college football and NFL has been a transition that you had been dreading to experience since the beginning of your relationship with Joe Burrow just a few months after he has transferred from Ohio State to LSU… For the last few weeks since the conversations about Joe Burrow going to the NFL started, you’ve tried as best as you could to not participate in those conversations.

While people assumed that you are being a good girlfriend and not giving answers to the rumors spreading around… Joe knew that was not the reason why you weren’t participating in the conversations with people, because you weren’t participating in the conversations about his future football career with him.

Throughout the past few weeks, Joe would notice how you would tense up when he or anyone around you would bring up the upcoming NFL Draft and the discussions going around of which team Joe Burrow would be drafted too… Anytime he would try to talk about why you get tensed up just by hearing the word “NFL”, you would just shut down the conversation and try to change the subject as fast as you can.

Joe knew that the transition from playing college football to playing in the NFL would be a big transition for him, but he always knew that transition would be a big transition for you as well… He has cared so much about you since the day the two of you met and he wanted you to be comfortable with the transition as much as possible. There was a huge chance that the two of you would be in a long distance relationship for some time as you would in your senior year at LSU while Joe would be starting his career in the NFL.

As Joe sat on the couch in your apartment waiting for you to get back home from work, he was watching ESPN on your TV hearing them discuss about the upcoming NFL Draft… And for some reason, he decided that today would be the day that he would finally have a conversation with you about the reasons why you’ve been avoiding the conversations about the NFL Draft and the future of his football career.

The sound of the apartment door being unlocked pulled Joe out of his thoughts and a smiled appeared on his face as he finally saw you walk into the apartment… He stood up from his spot on the couch and walk over to where you stood, giving you a hug from behind and a kiss on your cheek as you put your purse down onto the kitchen counter.

“Hi Princess.” Joe says after kissing your cheek, making you blush. “How was work?”

“It was good but it was a long day.” you reply, turning around to face him as you wrap your arms around his neck. “The restaurant was busy as always but, thankfully the day went by fast and now I’m home.”

“That’s good to hear.” Joe says with a smile on his face as he leans down to give you a kiss. Before you could kiss him back, he pulls away and the smile reappears on his face which causes a confused expression to form on your face.

“Is everything okay?” you ask, furrowing your eyebrows at your boyfriend. “You’re acting weird.”

“I’m acting weird because I asked you how was work and gave you a kiss?” Joe asks. “I’m just happy to see you now that you’re home from work that’s all.”

“Remember we have dinner plans with my parents tonight since they’re in town.” you say, as you move away from him to walk to the bedroom to change out of your work clothes into more comfortable clothes. “The reservation at the restaurant is at 8pm so we don’t have to rush to be ready just yet.”

Joe was hesitant to follow you to the bedroom, but he decided to walk back into the living room and sit back on the couch to watch the TV… He listened as the hosts at the panel talked about the upcoming draft and the high expectations of all the NFL teams to pick the best players to represent their team and to lead the next generation of football players.

You could hear the TV from your bedroom and cringed every-time you heard your boyfriend’s name. Which NFL team decided to draft him to their team is definitely going to be the luckiest team in the NFL… your boyfriend was something special on the football team; every football fan knew that, every person on every team that he’s played with or played against knew that, and you knew that.

You would never try to let your own insecurities and anxiety stop you from supporting your boyfriend and his dreams… but you couldn’t help but try not to overthink every little conversation that has been going on around Joe and the future of his football career during the past couple of weeks.

Before your overthinking thoughts take over, you finished changing out of your word clothes as fast as you could and tried to ignore the sounds from the TV… When you walked out of your bedroom and back into the living room, Joe was so focused on the things being said on the TV to the point where he hadn’t noticed that you were in the living room.

“Are you ever going to get tired of hearing the same conversations over and over again?” you asked, making your presence known as Joe turned his head from the TV to seeing you standing with your arms crossed over your chest and an annoyed look on your face.

“No… ” Joe answers. “People have high expectations of my future career in the NFL and I need to know what those high expectations are.”

“The NFL draft hasn’t even happened yet…” you say. “How can you know what those high expectations are if you haven’t even been drafted to a team?”

Joe shrugs his shoulders and you roll your eyes as you walk forward to sit next to him on the couch. “It’s not a bad thing to be prepared for what’s coming.” he says.

“I never said it was a bad thing to be prepared.” you defensively reply. “I’m saying this same conversation has been talked about over and over again… You don’t even know what exactly you’re preparing for, last time I checked you haven’t signed any NFL contracts.”

Joe decided to not respond to what you just said and focused his attention back on the TV; he realized that as much as he wanted to have this conversation with you right now, it was just not going to happen as he could tell that you were exhausted from work.

There was silence between the two of you; while Joe was watching the TV as the host panels continued to talk about the NFL Draft, your head was laying in Joe’s lap as you tried to tune out the noise by closing your eyes… It didn’t take long for you to fall into a deep sleep, Joe was used to you taking a nap after work if you had worked the day shift at the restaurant. Since the two of you would be out late tonight, it was best that you take a nap now or else you would be exhausted while out to dinner with your parents.

The night at the restaurant was going wonderful so far. It had been a couple of weeks since you’ve seen your parents since they live in a city in the north of Louisiana, the last time your parents were able to visit in Baton Rouge was a few days before the National Championship football game that your parents attended alongside you and Joe’s parents.

Your parents loved Joe since the first time you had introduced him to them just a few months after the two of you had started dating when the relationship was getting very serious… Just like everyone else living in Louisiana; your parents already knew who Joe Burrow was because of his college football career, but they learned how much he cared for their daughter.

As much as your parents knew how much Joe loves you, they were always very concerned with your relationship as they never wanted you to get distracted by love and not focus on your future career.

Over the past few weeks during phone calls, your parents have tried to get any information out of you regarding Joe’s future and what that would mean for your future together… but you always avoided giving your parents an answer because you couldn’t tell them the truth that you didn’t know the answer and that’s your fault for not having the conversation with Joe.

As your time with Joe and your parents went by at one of Baton Rouge’s fanciest restaurants, there was a bubble of anxiety forming in your chest because you knew at any moment the conversation would shift to the topic that you have been avoiding talking about.

The group was finished eating and we’re just patiently waiting for the bill to arrive and for the table to be cleared of the empty dishes… Once you heard your dad clear his throat, knots formed in your stomach as you knew that your dad clearing his throat was a way to get everyone’s attention because the important topic that he wanted to bring up into a conversation.

“Joe… There’s been a lot of talk about the NFL draft.” your dad says. “Are you excited about the future?”

“Yeah there sure has been a lot of talk recently…” Joe says, glancing over to watch your reaction to where the conversation was going before turning his attention to your dad. “I am excited for the next step in my career.”

“That’s good to hear!” your mom exclaims. “You’re truly something special on the football field! LSU was very lucky to have you leading the team to victory!”

“Thank your Mrs. Y/LN.” Joe says, blushing at the compliment from your mother.

“People have been saying that the Cincinnati Bengals will pick you as the first pick of the first round?” you dad says, taking a quick glance to you before looking back at Joe. “I guess Ohio wants their boy back.”

“Yeah I guess so… I would love to play for Cincinnati, I grew up as a huge fan of the team and I would have the opportunity to give back to Ohio.” Joe says.

“Ohio is pretty far from Louisiana.” your mom says.

“Yeah it is…” you mumble under your breathe, not realizing that Joe heard what you said.

“It is far…” Joe says. “But Ohio is home to me.”

Before either of your parents could respond to Joe, the waiter came to pick up the empty dishes and handed the bill to your dad who had offered to pay for everything tonight… Tension quickly filled the void of silence, you didn’t want to look over to look at Joe because the two of you knew he said something that had your parents concerned for their daughter.

“So I’m assuming that the two of you will be doing long distance for some time if you’re going to be in Ohio.” your mom says after the waiter walks away from the table. “Y/N has a year left at LSU… it’s not smart of her to give up her dreams of becoming a nurse just to be a football players’ housewife.”

The words that came from your mom didn’t shock either of you, she was always a very honest woman who would never lie to not hurt someone’s feelings… you and Joe looked over at each other and for the first time since the two of you started dating, neither of you could understand the expressions on your faces.

“We haven’t had that conversation yet.” you answered, looking away from Joe to look over at your parents.

“And why not?” your dad asked. “The two of you are in a very serious relationship with each other right?”

“This is a very serious relationship.” Joe defensively says. “We will have the conversation about us and our future when we’re ready to talk about it.”

“And when will the two of you be ready for that conversation… Will that be after you get drafted to the Cincinnati Bengals?” your mom asked, looking directly at Joe for him to give her an answer.

“The conversation will happen Mom.” you snapped. “We’re just taking things day by day right now. This just hasn’t been something that been on our mind.”

“Well… This is something that should be on your mind.” your dad states. “Your relationship is going to change the minute he is announced to be drafted to the NFL.”

“Trust me… We know that things will change.” you say. “At least, I know that.” glancing over at Joe to him furrow his eyebrows in confusion of what you meant.

“Don’t wait to long to have that conversation between the two of you.” your mom spoke just as the waiter arrives back at the table with the receipt of the bill.

And just like that, the conversation was over. There were things on Joe’s mind that he wanted to say out-loud but, he knew those things couldn’t be said in front of your parents in a restaurant with strangers around.

There was no point in staying seated at the table in the restaurant any longer, so the four of you got up front your seats and walked towards the front door out to the patio area of the restaurant.

Your parents pulled you and Joe into hugs as this would be the last time you would see your parents until spring break since they would be leaving Baton Rouge early in the morning tomorrow.

“Please talk to Joe about the future.” your mom whispers in your ear. “I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

You nod your head as she gives a kiss on the cheek before the two of you pulled away from the hug… Quickly, your gave your dad as hug as Joe hugs your mom before the two of you walk away from your parents to find the car in the parking lot.

There was silence between the two of you as neither of you knew what to say after the long night at the restaurant… There too much tension in the air surrounding the both of you and there was no chance that things can go back to how things usually are until the conversation happens, but while Joe was willing to have this conversation at anytime you still wanted to hang onto the hope that you could still push this conversation to happen at the last minute.

The silence continued all the way during the drive back to your apartment, not even the radio was on in the car… You wouldn’t even glance over at Joe who was just focusing on driving, you just stared out the window and watched the rain drops fall from the sky.

“Your parents are right.” Joe stated, looking over at you when the car reaches a red light. “We need to talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about right now.” you respond.

Joe rolled his eyes in disbelief, “Are you being serious right now? You know damn well there is something we need to talk about.” he says

“I know there’s something we need to talk about…” you say. “But that doesn’t mean we’re going to talk about it right now.”

“Then when are we going to talk about it!” Joe asked as the tone of his voice was getting louder. “Are we going to wait to talk about it until it’s too late?”

“Maybe it’s already too late!” you yelled, finally turning your head to look at him. “You’re so ready to move on into the future… Like you said at the restaurant, Ohio is your home so you might as well leave everything you know and love in Louisiana here.”

“What you are saying?” Joe asked. “It’s not too late-”

“The light is green… Please drive so we can get home before the rain gets worse.” you say, interrupting him.

Instead of responding back to you and finishing what he was going to say, there’s a hurt expression of his face that broke your heart to see before he turned his attention back to the road and started to drive forward.

Joe didn’t allow his mind to overthink all the words that you had just said and what those words could have meant as he turns the volume up on the car radio to try and block out all the thoughts in his head.

The sweet sounds of Fleetwood Mac filled the void of silence in the car, Joe hummed along to the lyrics of The Chain as you continued to stare out the window… What could be viewed as a peaceful moment from strangers on the outside, was really just a moment of being blissfully unaware of the tensions heating up.

The rest of the car ride back to your apartment was silence apart from the low music from car radio, neither you to Joe dared to speak up to continue the conversation anytime the car stopped at a red light.

Once Joe parked the car right in front of the apartment building, you got out of the car not waiting for Joe to be a gentleman and open the passenger door… Quickly, you ran fast across the parking lot to get inside your apartment’s lobby before you could have the chance to get drenched of rain.

It caught Joe off-guard for a second that you didn’t wait for him to be a gentleman and open the car door on your side, but he was right behind you running to get inside the apartment lobby… No words was spoken as the two of you got into the elevator to go up to the second floor. It was a silence short ride to your apartment as tension filled the small space.

Once the two of you were in your apartment, Joe watched from the front entrance as you walked away from to go to the your bedroom… Suddenly, a feeling of anger arose inside of him and he couldn’t handle feeling the tension between the two of you any longer.

“So are we just not going to talk about it at all?” Joe asked, before you could enter the bedroom.

“Talk about what Joe?” you angerly asked, turning around to face him. “Do you want to talk about how you’re so ready to just leave Louisiana to go back to Ohio? Or do you want to talk about the NFL Draft? Or maybe it is a little too late for these conversations!”

“For weeks you never wanted to talk about anything to do with my future… and now all of a sudden you’re mad that we waited so long to have a conversation?” Joe yelled. “I tried to talk to you but you’ve shut down the conversation every single time.“

“You really are making this a bigger deal than it really is.” You explain, crossing your arms over your chest.

“No! I’m not making it a bigger deal than it is… because to me, this is a big deal!” Joe yelled. “The day of the NFL Draft will be the most important day of my life… you never wanted to talk about it or be involved in any conversations that I would have with people, but now you’re mad that we haven’t talk about our future yet?”

“That’s not why I’m mad…” you defensively say.

“Can you tell me the reason that you’re mad?” Joe asked. “I can’t read your mind to be able to understand why you’re mad all of a sudden.”

You rolled your eyes and sighed in frustration before responding to Joe’s question. “I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“Why don’t you want to talk about it?” Joe asked.

“I’m not answering that question right now.” you say.

“Why?” Joe asked, getting more and more frustrated.

“Because it’s hard to talk about!” you yelled back at him. “You and everyone else are just so ready for the future to come and I don’t understand why?”

“I have been waiting for this moment for my entire life!”Joe snapped. “Am I just not supposed to be excited for my future because you don’t want to talk about it?”

“I’m not saying you can’t be excited about your future… But it just seems like you’re excited for a future that doesn’t involve me?!” you explain.

“And why would my future not involve you?” Joe asked, crossing his arms as he waits for your response.

You couldn’t give Joe an answer because the truth is that you didn’t know why Joe’s future wouldn’t involve you… How do you explain to the man that your own insecurities and anxiety are the reasons why the two of you are in this argument with each other right now.

“I’ll be honest with you… When I transferred to LSU, my main focus was just on football and receiving my masters degree. The past two college football seasons were my last chances at raising my college football credits for the NFL to see that I’m worthy of being in the league.” Joe explains in a soft tone as he walks closer to where you are standing. “But then I met you, and instead of changing my priorities for why I transferred to LSU, I just added being the best boyfriend that I could be to you onto the list.”

You look down to the ground as you try to blink away the tears that were forming in your eyes. As Joe stood in front of you, he studied your body language for a second before he continued to speak since you didn’t give him any sort of verbal response.

“If I have given you any reason to assume that I wouldn’t consider you to be apart of my future, then I failed at one of my priorities.” Joe says. You look up to him with a surprised expression on your face and shake your head in disagreement.

“No Joe… That’s far from the truth.” you trembled. “You didn’t fail at anything at all.”

“Then why would you think that I wouldn’t consider you to be apart of my future?” Joe asks again.

Once again you look down to the ground not being able to look Joe in the eyes as you couldn’t give him any reason why… Joe sighed and ran his fingers through his hair out of stress, he couldn’t understand why you couldn’t give him any sort of answer.

“You need to give me an answer before we continue this conversation.” Joe states. “Because the reason we’re not able to talk about the future is because you can’t give me an answer on why it’s hard to talk about.”

“You wouldn’t under-” you tried to explain, keeping your attention to the ground and shaking your head.

“Why wouldn’t I understand?” he asked interrupting you, raising his voice in frustration. “The only thing that I’m not understanding is why you’re mad at me for not having any conversation with you when I tried to talk to you about the future every chance that I got. You were the one to always shut down the conversations!”

“I didn’t want to talk about it then… and I don’t want to talk about it now!” you explain.

“Then when do you want to talk about it?” Joe asked.

Once again, you couldn’t give Joe an answer to his question because you didn’t know the answer to the question… You look up from the ground to give your full attention to Joe, who is standing right in front of you with his arms crossed over his chest.

For as long as you’ve known Joe, you’ve never seen him so angry and frustrated. You’ve seen him get mad after playing a rough game on the football field and upset if a football player from another team trash-talked about him at a press conference because he’s always been respectful to other football players… It broke your heart to know that the reason he is angers and frustrated right now is because of you.

“Do you want to talk about it the day before I leave to go back to Ohio?” Joe asked. “You want to talk about our future when we’re thousands of miles apart?”

“If you’re just so ready to leave to go back to Ohio… then why don’t you just leave right now?” you yell.

Suddenly there is a feeling of guilt in your chest and a visibly hurt expression on Joe’s face is formed. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

“Joe..”

“You’ve said enough.” Joe exclaimed. “Before I say something that I regret, I’m gonna leave and go stay at Ja’marr’s apartment for the night. We can’t continue this conversation anymore.”

Joe was already walking away from you and towards the front door as he spoke… You follow right behind him because you couldn’t let him leave or else you’ll break down into pieces on the floor.

“Wait Joe!” you yelled, with tears forming in your eyes. “Please let me explain!”

“Y/N.” Joe says, in the softest tone of voice that he has used since the two of you had arrived at the apartment. “I love you but it’s best that I go right now-”

“No Joe stop!” you say, reaching out to grab his arm to try and get him to stop. “We can talk about this now! Please don’t leave.”

Joe stopped in his steps right at the front door and sighed as he turned towards you. He sees the tears that are in your eyes and that have fallen down your cheeks and his heart breaks into pieces but as much as he wanted to wrap his arms around you and carry you to the bed room to give you the love and comfort that you need, he knew that he needed to leave because it was clear to him that the two of you aren’t in the right mindset to continue on the conversation.

“Y/N. I need to go.” Joe say, trying to pull his arm away from you to loosen your grip. “I’ll come back when both of us will be in a better mindset and we can have the conversation about our future.”

“Joe, please don’t leave!” you begged as your voice trembled. “I promise you that I’ll explain everything or we can pretend we didn’t have this conversation and go back to how things usually are.”

It hurt Joe’s heart to see the tears in your eyes and to hear the trembling in your voice but he knew that if there was any chance that there could be a future between the two of you… He needed to clear his mind before having this conversation with you again, because he knew things can’t go back to normal.

“Y/N. Please understand that things can’t go back to normal until we have this conversation.” Joe explain. “The conversation is about our future and if we can’t talk about that with both of us in a clear state of mind, then there’s a chance we won’t have a future together.”

Joe leaned forward and gave you a kiss on the forehead as a way to give you reassurance that everything will be okay… You closed your eyes to try and savor the moment as best as you could. When he pulled away and you opened your eyes, he gave you a soft smile and you could see tears forming in his eyes.

“I love you.” Joe says. “We’ll talk about this and I promise that everything will be okay between us.”

You nod your head and let his arm to let him walk away from you and leave your apartment. The second he walked out the front door, you broke down into tears and sat on the floor, crying your heart out in fear of taking the chance of losing a relationship someone you love and crying in frustration with your anxiety.

Joe would never let you know that heard your cries from outside your apartment right after he had closed your front door… It took all of his strength to not rush back into your apartment and to give you all the hugs and kisses that you would need to feel better.

It’s been one week since the argument with Joe and while you wish that things between the two of you were resolved, it just feels like things have gotten worser than you could’ve expected after Joe left.

You hadn’t texted or called Joe since he left your apartment, he’s tried to text and call you but you’ve ignored every message and voicemail that he sent… You didn’t even give him your work schedule for the week so he would know when you would be off-work.

Just hours after Joe left your apartment, you called your mom and sobbed to her on the phone. It broke your mom’s heart into pieces to hear her daughter cry in frustration of letting her anxiety win and not allowed you to open up to Joe about your insecurities.

Your mother gave you advice on how to reach out to Joe and have the conversation with him about your future without the conversation turning into an argument like it did that night… But instead of following your mother’s advice, you’ve just ignored all of the texts and calls from him. Which just made things even worse than they were between the two of you.

Over the past week you’ve barely slept in your own bed, eaten, or taken care of yourself because you’re mourning the lost of a relationship that hasn’t ended… Your only motivation right now is to go to LSU campus for your classes and to go to work at the restaurant.

“Tomorrow you need to talk to Joe. Things are only going to get better if you just talk to him about your fears of how you relationship will change when he leaves Louisiana.” your mother said when she had called you the night before to check on you since she hadn’t heard from you in a couple of days.

Once again you don’t follow your mother’s advice; as you are laying in bed, wrapped up in the sheets and comfortable as you watched re-run episodes of Family Feud on your TV… It was your first off-day from work in a couple of day, and instead of attempting to fix your relationship you just want to rot in bed by yourself.

You couldn’t help but think that the relationship is already over. The moment he left your apartment could have been the last time you ever see him in person… And maybe, that was the best decision for the two of you. Joe would be able to live his dream of playing for the NFL and you would continue your college classes and follow your dreams wherever it took you.

As you feel the exhaustion take over your body because you hadn’t slept properly in days… You heard the sound of front door being unlocked, but thinking that you were just making things up in your head due to how exhausted you are. You just decide to close your eyes and try to fall asleep in the comfort of your bed.

It was just a few minutes later when you heard your bedroom door open just slightly for someone to peek inside… but you made no attempt to open your eyes to see who opened the bedroom door or if it was just your mind making things up like it always does.

45 minutes later:

Your eyes fluttered open and the sweet smell of brownies filled around your apartment… You sat up in a panic as your mind was so confused, it was hard for you to tell if you were still in a dream or if you had put brownies in the oven before you came lay in your bed.

Just then, the bedroom door slowly open and a figure that you weren’t expecting to see was standing right there with a smile on his face… and the smell of brownies in your apartment finally made some sense.

“Oh hey! You’re finally awake!” Joe says.

“What are you doing here?” you asked.

“Your mom called me this morning…” Joe answers. “And she told me some things that I think we need to talk about… If that’s fine with you.”

You nod your head, “So you came to talk and make brownies in my kitchen?”

“You weren’t answering the door, so I used the emergency apartment key… And then I saw you were asleep in your room so instead of just waiting on the couch. I made the only box brownies that I know how to make without starting a fire.” Joe says.

Now things started to make sense in your head, you weren’t imagining someone in your apartment right before you had fallen asleep for a nap.

“I was thinking that we can eat brownies and talk.” Joe said. “Because I think we have waited a little too long for this conversation to happen.”

You didn’t respond, but you nod your head as you got out of your bed and follow into the kitchen where the sweet smell of brownies got stronger… Joe already had two plates of brownies on your kitchen counter, ready to be served and eaten by the two of you.

There was silence as the two of you are sitting on your couch with a plate in brownies in your laps… Despite both of you imagining this scenario in your head multiple times throughout the last week, neither of you knew what to say to start the conversation.

“Are you ready to talk now?” Joe asked, turning his body to face you. It takes you a few seconds to answer but once you look at him and nod your head, he gives you a soft smile before continuing to speak.

“So… the first thing that I want to say is that I’m sorry if I ever pushed you at anytime to have a conversation that you weren’t ready for.” Joe apologized.

“You don’t need to apologize.” you respond, looking down at your lap, feeling the knots twist in your stomach. “I should’ve been honest with you about everything, it’s just hard open up about these kind of things because most of the time I don’t understand it.”

“I understand that things can be hard but… I want you to know that I’m always going to be here for you.” Joe say, placing his hand on your thigh to give you comfort.

“I know that…”

“Do you really know that?” Joe asks, “I don’t want you to just say that you know what I’m saying, I want you to understand what I’m saying.”

When you look up at him, you see the serious look on his face and that he’s not joking around in any way.

“I understand Joe.” you answer. “I’m not lying to you.”

“Okay… I trust you that you understand.” Joe says. “Because this relationship can’t work out when we do long distance if you don’t understand that I’ll always be here for you no matter what.”

The knots in your stomach twist tighter, the thought of being in a long-distance relationship made you want to throw up the brownies you had just ate… The sick look that had appeared on your face doesn’t go unnoticed by Joe, for a few seconds he was concerned.

“That’s what we’re going to do…” you slowly say. “We’re really going to have to do long distance?!”

“It’s either we do long distance… or we break-up.” Joe says. “And as much as I know long distance will be hard to get used too… I would rather do that than to break-up, even if we could decide give our relationship a second chance after graduate.”

It took you a few seconds to get some of your thoughts together on what would be the best way to respond to what Joe had just said…

“I don’t want to break-up either… but you do realize that we’ll be in a long-distance relationship for a year.” you explain. “I don’t graduate until next year in May, do you really think we could do this?”

“I think we can do it.” Joe said. “It’s going to be hard, but we can get through it… a year is going to go by fast and then after you graduate, we can take the next step in our relationship.”

You dropped your head down to look at your lap and pulled the string from your socks to try to distract yourself from not overthinking… At first Joe thought the conversation was over and as he tried to move closer you on the couch, you lifted your head to be face to face as your eyes widen in panic from overthinking.

“What if it’s not worth it?” you asked and before Joe had a quick to ask what you meant, you continued on speaking in a panic. “What if it’s not worth long distance? We’re going to be apart for over a year and what if by the end of us doing long distance we release that our future will never be able to intertwine with each other. Then what, we just give up on a relationship that we could just give up on now?!”

Joe was taken back by surprised of your what you had just said, he wasn’t expecting that you would overthink the future and he thinks back to what the two of you had talked about at the beginning of the conversation.

“You’ll have a crazy schedule with football, I’m going to have a crazy schedule when I become a nurse… I don’t think that we’re going to see each other ever!” you rambled. “I’m not going to give up my dreams to become a football players’ housewife after spending many years studying my live away!”

The repeated words that your mother said at the restaurant stung Joe more than he’ll like to admit… Since the day he met you, he’s been very supportive of your dreams of becoming a nurse even helping you study for tests and letting you help treat his scars and bruises after football games.

“Take a deep breathe…” Joe whispers, moving closer and placing his hand on your back as he rubs his thumb in slow circles. “Remember what I talked about… I’m here for you, talk to me. Don’t overthink.”

When you look up at Joe is when you realize how much closer he is to you than before… It took a few deep breathes for your heart to stop feeling like it’s going to pound of your chest and the knots in your stomach started to untwist.

“First of all, I would never force you to give up your dreams and your career just to become a housewife…” Joe states. “I support your dreams just like you support my dreams. We will figure out everything when we get there, for right now let’s focus on us now.”

“But I can’t focus on us now-”

“Yes you can.” Joe says, interrupting you. “Let’s just focus on each other for now, the future will be okay.”

“The reason I was so scared to have this conversation with you was because of the future… I tried for so long to imagine a future where we wouldn’t have the be separated for so long.” you confess with tears in your eyes. “I was scared that when you leave Louisiana that you’ll never want anything to do with anything from here. I don’t want to be replaced by another woman that you could meet and fall in love with in Ohio.”

“Princess no… Please don’t think that way.” Joe say, pulling you closer to him so that you could wrap your arms around his waist and press your head into his chest as the tears started to fall down your cheeks.

“I can’t… I can’t help it.” you cry. “I can’t help to overthink everything. I was scared to have this conversation with you about our future because I thought that you wouldn’t want me apart of it.”

As Joe continued to rub circles on your back with his thumb, he placed his hand on the back of your head as your cried into his chest… It broke his heart that he never realized any of the signs you could’ve gave him for why you never wanted to have this conversation.

“Please just trust me and trust us.” Joe whispers then pressing a kiss to the top of your head, “I promise that everything is going to be figured out, we just have to talk about all of these things one day at a time.”

You didn’t verbally respond, but you nodded your head and got even closer to Joe… The cried and hiccups started to slow down as you were calming down. You had got very overwhelmed of an anxious feeling too fast for your mind to handle which causes you to get emotional very fast.

As the two of you sat in silence, there was a realization that it is going to be hard for you to start opening up about your anxiety to Joe, but like he told you before… All you had to do was trust him and you understood.

The sun was setting over the wonderful city of Baton Rouge and the beautiful colors of red, orange, yellow, and pink spread across the sky… It was a beautiful sight to see from the rooftop of your apartment.

Your head was laying on his chest, as his arm was wrapped around your shoulder pulling your body as close as he could to him… His head rested on your head and you tried not to overthink about how the two of you wouldn’t get to experience these kind of moments much longer before Joe leaves Louisiana.

“When we are apart… Just know that you can always look at the sun setting and know that I’m watching the same sun set.” Joe whispers, giving you a kiss on the forehead and the giggles the he hears from you makes his heart swell up with glee.

“You’re so cheesy!” you say, lifting your head off his cheek to look at him with a smile on your face. “What rom-com movies have you been watching on Netflix?”

“Only the rom-coms movies that you force me to watch!” Joe says. “I don’t think I have ever watched any rom-com movies before we started dating.”

“Yeah I could definitely tell from a mile away.” you jokingly say. “At least now your taste in movies has grown so much since we’ve watched a majority of the best rom-coms that have ever been released!”

Joe shook his head and laughed, “I wouldn’t say my taste in movies has grown just because of rom-coms.”

You gasped and Joe laughs at your surprised reaction. “Just because you said that… we’re watching a new rom-com movie tonight!” you exclaimed.

Joe groaned with a smile on his face as he pulled you back to lay your head on his chest… There was a moment of peaceful silence as you just enjoyed your time together because it was a known fact that there wouldn’t be too many more of these kind of moments to experience with each other for a long time.

While thinking too far into the future still formed knots in your stomach and made you feel sick, all you had to do was take a few deep breathes and just remembered the words that Joe had promised to you.

You don’tknow what the future will hold, you didn’t want to think about how things will change for better or worse for your relationship… But all that you knew right now is that your future with Joe will be okay.

Author’s Note:

it’s been two weeks since i’ve published any sort of fanfiction, i didn’t mean to make any of my readers wait so long to read something new. it just took me some time to find inspiration to write…

thank you all for the love and support! 🤍

#Joe Burrow #NFL #CFB #Cincinnati Bengals #LSU Tigers #Joe Burrow Fanfiction #Joe Burrow Fanfic #Joe Burrow Fic #Joe Burrow x Reader #Joe Burrow x OC #Joe Burrow x Y/N #Joe Burrow Imagine #Joe Burrow Oneshot #NFL Fanfiction

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cissyenthusiast010155 · 2 months

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Number 34 marilyn x larissa x reader. Reader is a student (of age and only if you're comfortable with it) who keeps getting distracted in Marilyn's lessons and anytime they are brought into larissa's office

When the Heat is Mutual ~Alpha!Larissa Weems x Omega!Marilyn Thornhill xFem Beta!Younger!Student!Reader (A/B/O{Omegaverse} Au)

Summary— Reader is an of age student who can’t seem to focus in Marilyn’s botany classes. Reader also happens to be a beta and in heat. Larissa and Marilyn suggest an alternative to help. Anon Response— Hey heyyy anon!! Thank you for the request! I love this idea. The Reader is assumed to be 18 or older. And I added an a/b/o AU for some extra fun Ehehe. Enjoy! ♥️♥️

Mommy… Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

#34. “Is that what’s been bothering you? Oh my, well I’m sure we can fix that.”

Warnings: NSFW, 18+!, mainly fluff, implied smut, talk of smut, talk of sexual desires, age gaps (all legal), a/b/o Au/omegaverse Au, Dom/sub implied relationships, implied breeding kink, implied begging kink, implied domination, implied future smut, etc.

Enjoy (;

It wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t help being born a beta. You couldn’t help the animalistic genes passed down to you. You couldn’t help when you were in heat.

For a couple days of the month, the days in which you were ovulating, you were highly sensitive in all manners of the word. You hadn’t slept well. You couldn’t eat much. All you could hold in your stomache was water. You dealt with mood swings and tidal wave cravings. You had cramps and heat flashes. Intense cravings and desires overwhelmed your system at all times. Wants to curl up and nest through it all. Needs that you didn’t dare utter aloud causing you to drown in your own desperation.

It wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t help being born a beta. You couldn’t help the animalistic genes passed down to you. You couldn’t help when you were in heat. But it’s not like you could spend a whole week of each month in your dorm suffering. So you did your best to ignore your time of the month.

“Miss L/N, for the last time, are you with us…??” Ms. Thornhill seethed, frustrated at how you apparently couldn’t keep any interest or attention in her class all week.

Your eyes shot up, wide, and toward the botanist. You gulped and went red.

“I’m sorry…” you murmured, looking away in embarrassment.

Marilyn looked you up and down and sensed that something was off. It seemed to have been off all week… She decided to go with her gut.

“Miss L/N, please see me and Principal Weems after your classes today.” Ms. Thornhill instructed you with a blank face and tone.

You gulped and nodded, letting out a whimper of a yes ma’am… You probably would have spent the rest of you day anxiously spiraling about the foreboding meeting with Thornhill and Weems, but today, you were in too deep with other matters to even think about it at surface level.

You knew that as the days progressed, your symptoms would only get worse. The second to last day of your heat would be the most intense, the last day would be filled with depression and distraught, ie your body realizing that it hadn’t gotten what it wanted.

Today you guessed was most likely your second to last day, as you’d been in heat for almost a week and the symptoms had peaked today of all days. Physically, you were constantly wet, shaking at all times, trembling as you walked and sat, wobbling with weak legs, breathing shallow and faltering, overheating at all hours of the day, stumbling with imbalance, and stuttering every other word that came out.

But the physical aspects didn’t compare to the mental. Mentally, you were in full heat mode…

Dominated… you needed her to push you and order you around… be rough but soft at the same time. You needed to kneel and look up to your alpha, powerless to her, surrendering all control…

Begging… You needed her dirty words whispered into your ear, as you whimpered and begged for it… you needed to let out all the dirty thoughts in your head, begging your alpha to make it come true… you needed her to get off at how pathetic and desperate you sounded…

Breeding… you needed her seed, her cum deep inside you… needed her to fuck until your stomache was swelling with her offspring… needed it, needed it, needed it…

As you knocked and entered Principal Weems’ office door, you tried to pull yourself back to reality from your deep, carnal desires. You closed the door behind you with a shuttering breath, as the two women swiveled their heads towards you. Larissa was sitting behind her desk, Marilyn on the left guest seat.

“Miss L/N, thank you for joining us. Please have a seat, Darling.” Ms. Weems spoke.

The petname put you on edge, enough where if you could just hump that arm chair…—

You shook your head and sat down as instructed. Marilyn’s quizzical gaze was on you, along with Larissa’s confident one. They both observed you for a moment, before Ms. Weems began,

“Ms. Thornhill tells me that you have been having trouble focusing in class…” the blonde spoke.

You went red and looked in your lap as your fingers fidgeted with one another.

“Mhmm ‘m sorry Principal Weemss…” you whispered, squirming in your chair.

“Larissa is fine in here, Darling.”

Larissa raise her brow at you, when you winced while you nodded. Her instincts told you something was off… You looked uncomfortable, in pain.

“Miss L/N, are you feeling alright…?” Ms. Weems asked.

Marilyn looked from Larissa to you, then leaning forward and placing a hand on your leg. You gasped and met Marilyn’s sympathetic gaze with wide eyes.

“You can talk to us, Y/N…” Marilyn gently said.

Suddenly, your suffering was stifled, things started to make sense again. You could think clearly. Her touch was your cure. But it wasn’t the entire cure… the pang of desire in you was still aflame.

“I… I’m… in heat…” you stammered in a whisper.

Marilyn’s eyes widened, her hand pulling back from your leg. You whimpered at the loss of touch, immediately slapping your hand over your mouth as soon as the pathetic sound came out. Your face was reddened in embarrassment as both women watched you carefully, processing the meaning of your words. Suddenly, Larissa let out a brief, dry laugh, then standing up, rounding her desk, and sitting on the edge of her desk in between you and Marilyn.

“Is that what’s been bothering you…?” Larissa softly cooed, leaning forward towards you.

You bit your lip, looking down to the floor, and nodding with a beet red face.

“Oh my, well I’m sure we can fix that.” The blonde hummed.

Your head shot up at Larissa’s words.

“Fix?” You promptly asked.

Your gaze met Larissa’s, but her eyes were different, darker and glimmering with a certain shine. You looked over to Marilyn, who seemed to be on the same page as Larissa. The redhead leaned forward in her chair, her hand now coming up to your thigh. You shivered and nearly moaned at the touch.

“Let us help you, sweetheart… We understand.” Marilyn cooed.

“Help me…? You understand?” You stammered.

“Yes Darling. Hear us out and then you can decide, does that sound alright?” The blonde comforted you.

You nodded slowly, entranced by the way Marilyn’s hand slowly drew circles on your outer thigh. Larissa smiled at your response, then standing up and offering you her hand. You took it and your body exploded at the skin to skin contact. The blonde principal guided you to the long, lavish couch by the fire, placing you in the middle. Your mind was even more dizzy and you could barely comprehend what was happening anymore.

When Larissa let go of your hand, part of reality came crashing into you, along with waves of sadness and distraught. But those feelings were soon semi-sated as Larissa sat on your right, and Marilyn on your left, closest to the fire. Marilyns hand found its home back on your thigh and you let out a sigh of relief. Larissa’s hand cupped your chin and swiveled your face and gaze to her.

“You understand what is happening to you, don’t you?” Larissa asked, while drinking in your form.

You shrugged your shoulders and let out a shaky breath.

“Kind of…” you stammered.

“Why don’t you tell me what you know, and I will fill in the gaps for you, Darling…” the blonde cooed.

You gulped and your breath hitched as you felt Marilyn’s fingers dance around the top of your thigh.

“I know that I go through ‘heat’… it’s biology, that I can’t help it. I get all messed up and I can’t function… its hopeless, so I just bear with it and it’s goes away after a couple days usually…” you rambled.

“Good girl.” Larissa hummed, “Yes, you are mostly correct. Your heats are biological, and you go through them in cycles. If you don’t address them, they will only get worse. I assume this is why you’ve been suffering these past few days… You’ve had built up heats, unaddressed?”

You broke your locked gaze from the tall blonde, nodding slowly.

“But it’s not hopeless, sweetheart. There are ways to treat and manage the heats.” Marilyn reassured you, squeezing your thigh lightly.

You let out a shaky sigh at Marilyn’s physical comforting, thanking whatever higher power that it didn’t come out as a moan. You looked towards the redhead and nodded. Larissa sighed towards Marilyn.

“Marilyn, that is enough. She hasn’t decided hers and your overabundance of teasing is not helpful…” Larissa sternly told the redhead.

Marilyn’s eyes widened and she quickly retracted her hand from your thigh. You felt your core start screaming again, for more. More touch. More anything. But Larissa’s words intrigued you enough to pull your focus to the tall blonde.

“Decide what…?”

Larissa sighed and Marilyn took a deep breath. The tall principals gaze met yours lovingly.

“If you want us to help you…” she purred.

Your cheeks went ablaze at her words.

“I… w-what…?” You stammered, your throat going dry.

“Marilyn and I, we understand your situation more than others… Correct me if I’m wrong, but you are a beta, aren’t you?” Larissa explained slowly.

You gulped and nodded, meeting the woman’s gaze submissively.

“Mmmmm that is what we thought. Well Marilyn is an omega, and I am an alpha. We are both also in our heats…”

Your heart nearly jumped up and out of your throat as the blonde woman’s statement, and your eyes went wide. Were you hearing this correctly…?

“And… Marilyn and I, if you are amenable, would like to offer our aid—” Larissa explained gently.

“Yes.” You immediately choked out.

The tall woman’s gaze widened and brightened at your interrupted response. She then smirked and turned her attention to Marilyn who gave a her a nod.

“Alright, then how about we start with you telling us what you want, Darling…?” Larissa purred.

“How can we help you, sweetheart…?” Marilyn asked as well, as Larissa placed her hand on your back reassuringly.

You looked from the redhead’s gaze then to the blonde’s.

“I… ummmmm…” You stammered,

“That’s alright, take a deep breath for us…” Larissa cooed.

You nodded towards the woman and did as she said.

“Good girl. Now use your words, sweet girl…” the blonde praised.

“I w-want… to be… dominated” you stammered, your words turning into embarrassed whispers.

Marilyn’s hand then reached out to grasp yours and squeeze it reassuringly.

“It’s all good, sweetheart. You got this.” The redhead comforted you.

You met her loving gaze and nodded with a gulp.

“W-want you to take control… of all of it of me. Want to be used but also taken care of… want to not have to think, to not have my head ringing in m-my ears…” you confessed, while Larissa and Marilyn listened intently as you continued,

“Want to be sated mmmd satiated… whatever just want to feel full… so full…” you whimpered, starting to rock back and forth as your words were starting to make you spiral,

“Need it… need it, need to be bred… God I need to be full…” you whimpered loudly, but you were interrupted by Larissa’s hand squeezing your shoulder lightly and bringing you back to her and the other woman.

“That’s good, Darling. Very good girl.” Larissa purred, “Do you trust us…?”

You smiled lightly and nodded.

“Yes…” you lightly said.

Larissa smiled lightly, before standing up and offering her hand to you, Marilyn following.

“Then why don’t we go to a proper bedroom, hmmm Darling…?” The blonde husked.

You eagerly took Larissa’s hand as she guided you to her private bedroom attached to her office, the redhead following behind you.

~~~

Interested in Part 2…? With Smut…? 😏

Larissa Weems Masterlist

Marilyn Thornhill Masterlist

239 notes · View notes

straylightdream · 2 years

Text

I think I like you - 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠

Bang Chan x f.reader

friends to lover, mutual pining, college au

↳ I’ll be right here waiting for us.

word count: 10.4k

warnings: angst, rumors of cheating, mutual pining, friends to lovers, protected sex, dirty talk, names such as: (baby), begging, first time having sex, talks about (loss virginity, creampie, and breeding kinks, Chan comments about in the future knocking the mc up, and unprotected sex) dry humping, choking, it’s sappy they’ve loved each other for years.

an: this is connected to Open Mind my Changbin story and Strawberry Latte my Jisung story, and there will be more for the other boys here. You don’t have to read that one to understand this story, it can be read as a one shot. This story is heavily inspired by “I Think I Like You” by The Band Camino and Waiting For Us by SKZ. Here is a playlist of other songs. Thank you @sulfurcosmos for all your help on this.

𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.

-NOW -

Another shitty breakup for the books. This break up involves a boy named Minyoung who is telling you all about how he doesn’t feel comfortable with the fact your three main friends are boys. Your three month relationship is coming to a spiraling end right in front of your eyes. This argument started all because you said you would prefer to not go bar hopping on a friday night. You needed to study and Chan offered to order take out and help you study for your big test. The following statement him is what really caught you off guard, “maybe I don’t trust you because it’s clear you and Chan have fucked in the past, and obliviously he still wants you.” How do you even respond to that? You’ve never done anything with Chan that would lead him to believe you’ve slept with him. Technically you and Chan have had sex before but it was a long time ago. It was freshman year of college when you were both freshly eighteen, you decided to lose your virginity to each other. Since that fateful night you hadn’t done anything sexual together since. You’re confused on how he could of possibly known that you had sex with Chan all those years ago. You’ve never told anyone and Chan at max has told Changbin and Jisung, two people who weren’t a fan of Minyoung so there is no way they would have told him.

Since your early teen years Chan had always been a part of your life and anyone you dated was just going to have to accept it. You would always pick Chan over any boy.

-THEN-

Summer nights with Chan were always something you had cherished. Since you met him that summer before freshman year of High School when your newly divorced Father moved you to a completely new city for High School. Your father was a heartbroken man desperately wanting a fresh start for the two of you. He lived on the same street you moved to. His mother dragged him to your house to introduce themselves the first day the moving vans showed up. That was the day you met a beautiful boy with a mop of golden fluffy curls on his head and from there the rest was history. You were inseparable when he took you into his friend group with Changbin and Jisung. That summer you spent countless nights staying up late. Many hot afternoons were spent in his pool with Changbin and Jisung. You were absolutely inseparable from your new best friend.

The summer before college was when you realized you didn’t just have a crush on your best friend, you were indeed desperately in love with him. Many days you find yourself getting distracted as you listen to him passionately talk about the different things he loves.

Laying on a towel next to Changbin you watch Chan and Jisung swim around in Chan’s pool. Laying on your stomach you prop your chin up on your hand. Most of your summer had been spent with these three boys. Many sunny afternoons you found yourself in Chan’s backyard.

Changbin groans standing up stretching his body. Recently the boys have taken up working whenever they can, so Changbin who used to be skinny with a narrow jaw started filling out. You can’t help but think about how young you were when you met these boys.

“Bin and YN you better come in,” Chan shouts before diving back into the pool.

“You heard him Bambi let’s get in the pool,” Changbin says, referring to you as your nickname they’ve been calling you since your first winter together when you rolled your ankle on the ice. Most people probably wouldn’t be fond about having a nickname that focused on how you were clumsy but there was something about them calling you Bambi you found sweet.

Taking his hand you stand up adjusting your bathing. This is the first summer you’ve worn a two piece that exposes more of your body. You’ve caught all three of them staring at your exposed skin. Jisung and Changbin were a little more open about watching you then Chan. The one time you caught his eyes locked on your boobs and he quickly looked away with the tops of his ears burning bright red. Walking closer to the edge of the pool you dipped your foot testing the water.

“Just jump in,” Jisung shouted as he splashed Chan.

“Let’s go Bambi,” Changbin came up behind you, wrapping his arms around you, hugging you from behind. He jumped in holding on to you. The chilled water felt amazing against your sun kissed skin from this hot summer day. He releases you as soon as you’re fully underwater. You take a moment relaxing under the water before swimming up to the surface in the deep end. You breach the water and you find Chan swimming right in front of you. Kicking your feet you reach out touching the beautiful golden skin on his shoulder. He smiles reaching up to push the water away from his face.

He’s so beautiful and he doesn’t seem to know it. You forget all about Changbin and Jisung who are fighting in the shallow end as you swim in place in the deep end with Chan.

“Can you believe this is our last summer home?” He brings up the same thing you have been thinking about for weeks.

“I mean we can come home during the summer,” you know going to a school further away means you won’t be home very often.

“We can, but at least we’ll have each other so no matter where we go it still feels like home,” he smiles. Everything about Chan feels like home to you. You love your father and your friends Jisung and Changbin, but Chan is the person who truly feels like home to you. You would go anywhere and stay anywhere with him.

You couldn’t be happier that you chose to go to the same University as Chan. Your father was sad that you would be moving away for school, but he was happy to know you would have Chan there to look after you.

That summer you spent with Chan, Changbin, and Jisung was the best summer of your life.

When summer came to close it was finally time to start college together. Freshman year you lived on campus with Angel, a sweet girl with a creative spirit. She soon became one of your great friends and immediately joined your friend group along with Changbin new roommate Minho. Many nights that first year of college you found yourself with Chan by your side. Many times you fell asleep in his dorm and would lie in his bed with him rambling on about anything you could think of.

After one drunken night with your friend group a drunk clingy Chan informed you of his still very much intact virginity that seemed to be weighing on his mind. You and Chan had always talk about a lot of things in your life, but one thing you never talked about was either of your past sexual experiences or lack there of for Chan. In the whole time you’ve been friends you can only think of one girl Chan gave the time of day to. He liked Rachel back in senior year of high school but after going to formal together it quickly fizzled out. That was the only dance you didn’t go to with him. Instead you ended up going with Changbin who could tell you were hurt that Chan didn’t ask you.

-NOW-

Standing in Chan and Jisung’s house you wondered if you made a mistake going out. Even though you weren't head over heels in love with Minyoung, getting broken up with still hurts. You gave three months of your life to a guy who wasn’t ever going to fully trust your relationship with your best friend.

Someone comes up behind you wrapping their arms around your soft stomach pulling you into their chest. There is only one person that manhandles you like this. You look back to see Changbin holding you.

“Hey Bin,” you smile as he releases you.

“Where did Chan and Jisung go?”

“Jisung library girl just texted him telling him she's walking up, and last time I saw Chan he was heading off towards the kitchen.”

“Is your study buddy coming tonight?” you ask. Changbin told you in class today about the girl he’s been chasing after. She’s the first girl that has really seemed to tame Changbin and fully capture his attention. Since they started ‘studying’ Changbin hasn’t really been talking to anyone else. This girl seems to be the only person he cares about.

“I don’t know I might have scared her off,” he sighs looking down.

“I told you not tell her that you should just fuck already,” you can’t help but laugh at how blunt Changbin decided to be. After everything he has told you about her you aren’t shocked that blunt statement scared her.

“Yeah I know. I think I scared her off. I asked her to come here if she wanted something more.”

“Oh Changbin,” you pat his shoulder. “Where did Angel go with Minho? She said they were going out but wouldn’t give me details. She said they had these plans before Chan and Jisung planned this party.”

“I think they’re going to get dinner and then just having sex to be honest. They know they have the apartment to themselves basically all night because Hyunjin came with me. So they can be as loud as they want.”

“Do they still not know that we know?” There was one fateful night you and Changbin accidentally found both of Changbin’s two roommates having sex in Angel’s room. The door wasn’t fully shut and you and Changbin stopped by his house so he could grab his laptop. You and Changbin made a pack that you wouldn’t tell anyone until Angel and Minho told the group. What was going on with them didn’t concern anyone else in the group.

“They have no clue and I don’t think Hyunjin knows. His room is the furthest away from either of them. I’ve seen Minho sneak into her room once since. Hyunjin asked what they were doing tonight and I just told him they have plans.”

“We should go find Chan,” you say, leading Changbin off towards the kitchen where you find Chan pulling liquor out of the cupboard.

“Chan can you make me a drink?” you say catching his attention.

“What do you want?” He asks.

“Surprise me.”

Your phone in the back pocket of your jeans starts vibrating. Pulling out your phone you’re surprised to see Angel’s name. You excuse yourself from this kitchen. Walking upstairs towards Chan’s room attempting to get away from the noisy party so you can answer the phone.

“Angel what’s up?”

“Hey YN,” she says.

“Is everything okay with Minho?” she doesn’t normally call you. You always text about everything.

“Minho and I were getting dinner when we ran into Minyoung and his dumb ass friends.” Angel went on to tell you all about how your ex was running his mouth. You didn’t care that he blamed you for the breakup. You cared that he’s bringing Chan into this by lying and saying you cheated on him with your best friend. Before hanging up she lets you know that Minho did defend you which made you smile. You asked her to tell Minho not to tell Chan about what your ex is saying.

Sitting on the edge of Chan’s bed you don’t understand how your ex can just go around lying. If he wants to blame you for the break up that’s fine, in the last month you hadn’t been as available to hang out as he was. You had been so focused on school, and it was hard worrying about someone else and trying to be a good girlfriend. But you can’t stand him lying that you were cheating on him.

Shoving your phone into the front pocket of your jeans you head back downstairs. You find Chan still in the kitchen with Changbin, but now Jisung and the girl that holds his attention are standing in there with them. Jisung looks absolutely smitten as he is hugging his library girl from behind.

Walking to the entry to the kitchen you say, “Hey Chan, can I talk to you?”

He looks up at you immediately. You’ve always had these moments with Chan when you look into his warm eyes and suddenly the room feels empty. He looks at you like he knows what you’re thinking and even if you’re upset or anxious you know it will be okay. Because no matter what he’s going to be there. How did you even live before you met him? Was existing even possible before the boy with dimples entered your life. Here you are standing in this crowded house party at his and Jisung’s place. You just got off the phone with Angel telling you that she ran into Minyoung and he decided to tell her and Minho you cheated on him with Chan. You should be absolutely furious he’s spreading this lie, but instead you don’t care.

Chan tilts his head to the side as he walks out of the kitchen directly towards you. You’re frozen as he gets closer to you. He stops right in front of you tilting his head as if he’s studying you.

“Who called?” He breaks the silence between you.

“Angel did. She’s out with Minho getting dinner and ran into Minyoung who was running his mouth.” You decide to leave out the part about him saying you cheated on him with Chan. You can tell him about that later when you don’t have to worry about him getting angry at his party.

“What did he say?”

“Nothing he’s just blaming me for our relationship not working out,” you’re upset but you don’t want Chan to know you are. Your failed relationship troubles shouldn’t fall back on him. You’ve been through enough shitty break ups while in college, Chan doesn’t constantly need to know about your boy problems. The whole time he’s been your best friend you’ve never heard him complain about girl problems.

“Are you okay?” He knows you're not. He can tell you’re upset.

“Yeah it’s just annoying. We broke up so I don’t get why he is running his mouth.”

You stand there talking to Chan for a little while before some friends from Chan’s music class challenge Jisung and Hyunjin to a game of beer pong. You walk over sitting on the couch against the wall. Chan joins you shortly after sitting close to you like he always does. You watch the game unfold and you can’t help but pay attention to the way Jisung is with his date. He seems so adorably nervous around her.

Chan catches your attention when he reaches out and takes your hand in his the same way he always does. He’s leaning in close because he wants to talk to you loud enough for only you to hear. “Sungie seems smitten,” he points out how into this girl his roommate seems to be into.

“What's her name?”

“Honey,” his thumb slowly draws across the top of your hand.

You take a deep breath leaning in even closer to him. You don’t know why you suddenly want to cry. Maybe it’s because you’re hurt about the whole situation with your ex. Or maybe it’s because not long ago you saw Changbin’s study buddy head up stairs, and in front of you you’re watching Jisung slowly fall in love with the girl from the library. Two of your three best friends are getting to be with the two people they seem to be head over heels for, and yet you don’t know what that's like. Sure the boy you’re head over heels for is holding your hand as you lean against him, but the intimacy stops there. You don’t get to kiss him goodnight and tell him about how you truly feel. You don’t get to have your cake and eat it too. The tears that are threatening to fall are because you’re jealous.

“Jisung seems really happy,” you whisper.

Bringing the red cup to your lips to take a drink of the strong liquid Chan made for you. You can feel his eyes on you as you hold your eyes closed. He squeezes your hand catching your attention. Bringing the cup down you look at him and he looks sad as he’s staring back at you.

“I don’t want you to drive tonight. Just stay here with me?”

“Channie this couch hurts my back,” you sigh thinking back to the many nights you’ve fallen asleep during movie nights on this couch.

“No I’m not asking you to sleep on the couch, we can both sleep in my room.”

“Is Jisung room still pretty soundproof?” you ask knowing that Changbin isn’t the quietest when he’s in bed. You would really prefer not to hear another one of your friends having sex.

“Yeah, we soundproof both our rooms so we wouldn’t have to worry about keeping it down while we were working on tracks.”

There is a small part of you that wants to tell him you shouldn’t stay the night, but your heart is telling you to say yes. After the week you’ve had there is nothing more you want then to cuddle with Chan. You haven’t had a sleepover or cuddled in probably five months.

It’s not long before Jisung and his girl leave the house, leaving Chan in charge of everyone in the house. Around 3:30 in the morning is when everyone finally leaves the house. Hyunjin stays behind to help you and Chan clean up some. You listen as he and Chan talk. Hyunjin is talking about a girl who lives with Felix that caught his interest. Last time you got lunch with Felix he was telling you about his new roommate who was a trust fund girl who was rebelling against her father. According to Felix “she’s sweet but a hot mess.”

“Hyunjin, I thought you said you can’t be distracted while you work on your collection for that exhibit?”

“Nothing has happened Chan, and I highly doubt she knows I exist. The last time I saw her she stumbled into the apartment wasted and Felix had class he couldn’t miss so I took care of her. I left as soon as Felix got home. I’m pretty sure she forgot I took care of her.”

Hyunjin is a sweet boy who wears his heart on his sleeve and you can tell if he gets involved with this girl she might hurt him.

You finish cleaning up the house and Hyunjin finally heads home around 4:30. Heading upstairs with Chan he lets out a loud yawn. You turn back and look at him smiling at how sleepy he looks. You walk down the small hallway to where Chan’s room is. As you open the door to walk inside you hear Jisung’s door open. You and Chan turn and watch as Changbin who is only dressed in his boxer-briefs walks out into the small hallway. He turns and looks at Chan with a grin on his face.

“I need to get two bottles of water,” he says scratching the back of his neck.

Chan follows Changbin as they head downstairs. You go into Chan’s room and set your phone down on the nightstand before heading to the bathroom. You use the restroom and brush your teeth with the toothbrush you leave at Chan’s. Walking out of the bathroom you run into Changbin’s study buddy. You can tell she’s had quite the night with Changbin. Her hair is messy and she's dressed in nothing but Changbin’s shirt he had been wearing to the party and panties. Her cheeks burn bright as she pulls the shirt down covering as much of her body as possible.

“You’re fine. Chan and Changbin went downstairs and nobody else is in the house,” you reassure her. “I’m YN by the way,” you give her an awkward wave.

“I’m Kitten,” you can tell she is nervous and a little flustered, but lord only knows what her and Changbin have been doing in that bedroom. “Are you Chan’s best friend?” she asked, tilting her head.

“Yeah,” you wonder if Changbin had mentioned you to her.

“I should probably use the restroom before Chan comes up and sees me like this.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” you say before walking off into Chan’s room.

His room will always make you smile. He’s got his expensive computer set up against the wall and his bed is against the opposite wall. He doesn’t have many decorations in his room outside his lights that he got as a gift from his friend Felix that hang above his bed. On his dresser there are two photos framed, one of him, Changbin and Jisung, and the second photo was of the two of you. You’re both only seventeen in this photo. You had spent a long day at the pool. Chan’s curls were extra crazy and your hair was messy from the pool water. You’re dressed in your bathing suit bottoms and wearing Chan’s favorite hoodie, while he’s in swim trunks and shirtless from the waist up. His arms are wrapped around you hugging you from behind. When this photo was taken Chan told you he would always keep this no matter where he went.

You reach into Chan’s dresser pulling out one of his oversized shirts and a pair of his shorter gym shorts. You strip down to your underwear before getting changed. Crawling into Chan’s bed you wait for him to come back upstairs.

The door cracks open and Chan comes in. Without a single word he pulls off his shirt tossing it in the hamper by the door. You try to open your phone to keep yourself busy but you can’t help but watch Chan as he turns his back to you and he pulls off his tight jeans. He’s left standing there in his tight black supreme boxer briefs. His beautiful toned back is on full display. He pulls on his pajama pants and before turning around you make sure you’re looking away.

Pulling the blankets back he crawls into bed next to you. It’s been so long since you had a sleepover with him. You aren’t sure how you used to hold yourself back from kissing him.

You move to get comfortable laying on your side facing Chan.

“YN?” he asks, laying on his side staring at you.

“Yeah Chan?”

“Why are you sad?” He reaches out, flipping your hand over. That’s a loaded question he asked you, but he doesn’t know it is.

“I’m just hurt about my breakup,” he traces little figures into the palm of your hand. There's a long moment of silence that takes over the room.

“Did you love him?” he asks looking up at you.

You stare at him taking in the features of his beautiful face. No man will ever compare to the man whose bed you’re laying in. “I don’t think I have ever loved any of the boys I have ever dated.” Since freshman year of college until now the second semester of Senior year you have dated four guys. None of the relationships lasted more than six months. It’s hard to fall in love when you’ve always loved your best friend.

“Minyoung didn’t deserve you,” he says, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

“We should sleep Channie. It’s five in the morning.”

“We should,” he brings your hand up to his lips and presses a soft kiss to the top of your hand.

It’s not long before Chan falls asleep, but you can’t fall asleep no matter how hard you try. Laying in Chan’s bed you’re staring at his bare back. You aren’t sure how much longer you can go through him not knowing how you feel. There is a part of you that knows he has to have feelings for you, but part of you is absolutely afraid of rejection. You can’t risk losing him as your best friend.

-THEN-

On a chilly November evening Freshman year you were laying on Chan’s bed as he was sitting at his desk working on a new song he had been working on all week, you stared at your art history homework. Your brain was hurting from all the studying you had been doing for a huge quiz you had on thursday. Closing your book you stared at Chan who seemed completely lost in his own world. He had one headphone covering one of his ears.

“Channie?” You say loud enough for him to hear you over his music.

He takes his headphones fully off, setting them down the desk. Spinning around in his desk chair so he’s facing you fully. His curls are extra messy from his pushing his fingers through them. He’s wearing a zip up hoodie that is unzipped low enough for you to tell he isn’t wearing a shirt.

“Can I ask you something?” There had been something weighing on your mind since that drunken night Chan talked about still being a virgin. You move so you’re sitting cross legged on Chan’s bed.

“Yeah you can ask me anything?”

“Are you happy still being a virgin?” You didn’t know how to sugarcoat your question so you got straight to the point. His ear instantly turned a bright shade of red as he stared at you looking shocked.

“Um-um-um,” he was nervously stuttering.

“I’m a virgin too and I’m just wondering why everyone makes such a big deal about saving it for someone special.” You had thought about your virginity long before Chan’s drunken confession, but since finding out he was as well you thought about it even more. You had an opportunity to lose your v card at a graduation party with Hyunjae, a cute boy who spent the whole entire party flirting with you. You even had quite an intense makeout session with him in the pool house while he felt you up under your bra. He even asked you to go all the way.

He blinks at you like he can’t figure out what he wants to say. There is something so adorable about him when he’s absolutely flustered like he is right now.

“Do you want to sex with someone?” He says, sounding absolutely flustered.

That’s the complicated thing, it’s just not somebody. You had been thinking about it since you graduated, that you wanted your first time to be with your best friend. “Chan, do you still want to be a virgin?”

“YN- I-” he pauses and you know he’s trying to figure out exactly what he should say to you. “I don’t want my first time to just be with some random girl.”

You wished you didn’t have to directly tell him you want your first time to be with him, but he’s so nervous you don’t think he will pick up on your hints. “Chan, what if your first time was with me?” This is the chance to be brave and tell Chan exactly what you want.

His mouth opens and quickly as he stares at you again with his eyes wide. Reaching back he scratches the back of his neck.

Looking down at your lap you play with the sleeve of your hoodie, nervous that you might have made a mistake. “We’ve never even kissed,” he finally speaks.

“What if we kissed now?” you move so you’re sitting on the edge of the bed with your feet resting on the hardwood floor.

A screaming silence takes over the room as he stands up. He looks so soft as he stands in front of you. He’s dressed in his gym shorts he wore when he went to work out with Changbin. He steps closer to you holding his hand out. Without another thought you stand in front of him taking his hand for a moment. There isn't much space between you. Your eyes are locked on his warm one. He’s looking at you like he does all the time, like you're the light in a dark room. Taking a deep breath you wonder what happens next. Reaching up you make a move resting your hand on his cheek. He closes his eyes leaning into your touch. His thumb drags across the delicate skin on your cheek.

“You’re so beautiful,” you whisper.

“YN?”

“Yeah Channie?”

He leans forward and there is barely any space between your lips. You’ve never been this close to his lips, even on the nights you’ve fallen asleep in bed. He’s never been this close to your lips. “Are you sure you want me to be your first?”

Silently you nod. You swallow slowly, “you’re important to me.”

“What if I’m terrible at having sex?” he’s just as nervous as you are that you won’t be good at this.

“I want my first time with you? We can learn together what to do.”

He leans forward and his lips touch yours for the first time. His soft lips taste like his peppermint chapstick that has always been in his backpack. Wrapping your arms around his neck you pull him even closer to you. Your body feels alive as your lips move together. You back him up until the back of his legs hit his computer chair. He sits down and pulls you down so you’re straddling his thighs. You continue your heated makeout session. Your lips only part for him to pull off your hoodie. Once you remove your bra you’re sitting on his lap completely bare from the waist up. His hand roams all over your body as your lips continue to move together. You learn quickly the sound of Chan moaning as you grind your core against his strained gym shorts is music to your ears.

It’s not long before both of you are fully naked and laying on his bed. Chan had managed to get the condom that Changbin gave him on their first day of college. He hovers over you with a goofy smile on his face. Reaching up you push your fingers through his fluffy curls.

“If this is terrible, promise me you won't hate me,” he says brushing his nose against yours.

“I could never hate you Chan.”

Your first time together wasn’t perfect by any means. Chan struggled a little to find a rhythm and a couple clumsy kisses led to your noses bumping. He finished a little earlier than he would have wanted to but it was okay because you found your own release shortly after with the help of his finger. It wasn’t earth shattering sex by any means, but that's okay because you preferred your first time be slightly awkward and clumsy, because it was with Chan and that’s what was important.

Laying there in his bed dressed in nothing but your hoodie and panties you knew that even though you loved Chan with your whole heart no matter what happened in life you needed him by your side even if he was just your friend.

Your first time together didn’t lead to some confession of undying love, you didn’t even have the nerve to admit you liked him as more than a friend. But that was okay because he was still the most important person in your life.

-NOW-

Two weeks have passed since your sleepover with Chan and you’ve been with him pretty nonstop. He’s been trying his hardest to do things that make you smile. You’ve been trying your hardest to not think about your break up.

One night you had a movie night over Changbin’s house with him, and his new girl Kitten, Angel and Minho. Hyunjin was busy doing something with Felix and couldn’t join, and Jisung was on a date with Honey and asked Chan if he could have the house to himself.

Sitting on the couch between Changbin and Chan you distracted yourself the whole movie by paying attention to the way Changbin would hold Kitten’s hand and every so often lean over and kiss her. It made you smile finally seeing Changbin somewhat tame now that he’s with his study buddy. You kept glancing up at Angel and Minho who would touch each other’s hands for a few seconds here and there. Since finding out they were at least sleeping together you’ve become aware of their lingering touches and how close they are.

Chan reaches over resting his hand on your thigh. Looking over him he smiles before leaning over and whispering, “can I crash in your living room tonight. I don’t know what Jisung has planned with Honey.”

“Of course.” You know he’s not going to sleep in your living room. He never does, he’ll sleep in your bed just like he always does.

The moment the movie ends Changbin disappears with Kitten grabbing her hand pulling her off to his room. Chan went off to Minho's room so he could show him something while you went to the kitchen with Angel.

She reached into the cupboard and pulled out a coffee cup. She grabbed you one and worked on making you each a cup of tea.

“Are you going to dare sleeping in the room next to Changbin’s tonight?” You know that Changbin’s room isn’t soundproofed like Jisung’s so if Angel slept in her room she would most likely hear noises from Changbin and his girl that she probably wouldn't want to.

“Oh god no. Minho offered to hang out with me, and I could sleep on the couch in the living room.” She’s completely oblivious to the fact that you know she’s hooking up with Minho.

“Is Chan coming to your place tonight?” She asked, handing you a cup of tea.

“Yeah, Jisung has some special date with Honey planned.”

“Have you decided if you’re applying for your grad school program?” For the last week and half deciding on if you were going to grad school had been weighing on your mind. You know you have your apartment lease for another year so even if you don’t go to grad school you can still live near all your friends. Chan already told you Jisung and him were staying in the city and gonna work on producing more music and Changbin already has an internship at a record label.

“I think I’m gonna do it. I want to get into publishing and grad school can help. What about you?”

“I’m putting my app in for nursing school so hopefully it goes well. I think Minho mentioned grad school. He’s like you, he's trying to figure out the next step. I told him he should really try to become a teacher like he wants to.”

Chan comes into the kitchen with Minho right behind him. He walks over and rests his head on your shoulder. It’s pushing midnight and you can tell he’s tired.

“I think I need to get this guy home,” you lean your head against his.

“Angel we should watch another movie, I figure by the time that movie is over maybe Changbin will have worn himself out,” Minho reaches over and takes Angel’s cup from her hands.

The drive back to your place is pretty short. Chan parks in the same spot he always does. You head up to your apartment and he takes off his shoes and stretches his tired body. The hem of his shirt rising up exposing just enough of his beautiful skin between the hem of his shirt and his jeans.

“Did you want me to sleep on the couch?” He yawns.

You should say yes, because maybe if he does you can work on trying to turn off your feelings you have for him, and maybe some of this building tension between you could dissipate.

Shaking your head, “no why don’t you crawl into bed. I’m gonna take a quick shower.”

He heads off to your room and you head off to the bathroom. Your body feels super tense and you’re hoping a shower can help relax you finally. You’re happy to see your pajamas are still left in the bathroom from this morning. Opening the sliding glass door of the shower you turn on the warm water.

Stripping away your clothes you step into the warm water. You try your hardest not to get your hair wet attempting to just wash your body and let the warm water relieve your tense muscles. Standing there you try to shut your brain off but all you can think of is Chan. Since Minyoung broke up with you and brought up your friendship with Chan you haven’t been able to stop thinking about him. You would be lying to yourself if you said you thought you could have ever loved Minyoung or any of your other exes for that matter.

Getting out of the shower you dry off and get dressed for bed. Walking into your room you see a very peaceful looking Chan dresses in just his sleep shorts he always leaves at your place. He’s curled up under the covers on the side he always sleeps on. He’s already sound asleep. Crawling into bed you lay on your side looking at him. You watch him as he slowly breathes. You want to reach out and hold him but you can’t. There’s this little part of you that wonders what would happen if you could stop loving him. You wonder if things would be easier. Maybe you could date someone and actually fall in love with them. There is this little nagging voice asking what would've happened if you would have fallen in love with either Jisung or Changbin if they would love you back or want to be with you.

Reaching out your rest, your hand on top of Chan’s that is on the bed between you. Your thumb runs across the skin on top of his hand like he does to you when he’s listening to you talk.

“Why can’t we be together?” you whisper to yourself.

You fall asleep shortly after thinking of your best friend like you always did.

-THEN-

Senior Winter Formal was something you had been looking forward to since the first day of senior year. Sitting in Jisung’s room you listen as Jisung is talking about how he asked out a girl from his science class. The formal was in two weeks, usually by now Chan has already asked you to be his date. Since Winter Formal was announced you haven’t even heard Chan mention it. You hadn’t bought a dress or anything for the dance.

“Changbin, who are you going with?” Jisung asks, throwing himself down on the bed next to you.

Changbin is lounging against the wall next to you on the bed. He looks at Jisung, narrowing his eyes, “Sungie I haven’t really thought about it. I’ll go solo if anything.”

“What about you YN?” Jisung asks, hitting your foot.

You look over at Chan who is sitting in a Jisung’s desk chair messaging someone on his phone. He’s seemed super distracted these last two weeks. Normally by now Chan would chime in and tell the boys he was going with you, but his silence was deafening. You swallow realizing he’s not taking you. You can’t explain it but you suddenly feel like you’re about to cry.

“I don’t have a date,” you try your hardest to force a smile.

Jisung rolls off the bed. Looking down at your lap you try your hardest to fight back the tears that keep trying to fall. Changbin nudges your leg with his, capturing your attention. Looking up at him he gives you a sad smile.

“Channie, do you have a date? I can’t be the only one here with a date,” Jisung pesters.

Chan closes his phone and looks up at Jisung who is standing in front of him. He scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah I just asked Rachel and she said she would go with me.” There it is, he’s found another girl he would rather go with then you. Closing your eyes you push back the tears threatening to fall. Your chest hurts realizing that Chan has someone he likes.

Changbin's hand rests on your knee giving it a quick squeeze. “Bambi?” He says barely loud enough for the other boys to hear.

“Did you need a ride home?”

“Yeah I should probably go home for dinner,” you get off the bed. You want to get out of this room so badly. You can’t let Chan and Jisung know you’re upset because Chan is going out with someone else.

“My mom asked me to head home for dinner too,” Changbin says.

You leave Jisung’s house and walk outside where Changbin’s car is parked. He unlocks his car and you sit down in the passenger seat. He gets in the car and puts the keys in the ignition but doesn’t start the car.

“YN?” He calls you by your actual name which is something he doesn’t do very often. He calls you Bambi more than anyone else.

“Yeah Bin?”

“Go formal with me.” He wasn’t asking you, he was telling you, you should go with him. You don’t say anything, you just lean your head against the window still fighting back tears. “I didn’t know he was asking Rachel. If I would've known he was asking someone else I would have asked you to go with me last week.”

“Bin you can go with another girl if you want. You don’t need to take me just because Chan isn’t.”

He sighs and you look over at him, he looks upset and you don’t know why. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t like seeing you sad. “Please just go to formal with me. There is no one else I would rather go with.” “Okay,” you whisper.

Two weeks later when Winter Formal came around Changbin made a big deal about you matching and even took you out to dinner before the dance. Jisung and Chan rented a limo and went with both their dates. Chan was quite awkward when he found out you were going with Changbin, but asked if you guys wanted to ride in the limo with them. Before you could say anything Changbin told him he would be driving. Changbin made a big deal about making sure the night was special for you.

Formal for the most part was quite uneventful. Somehow Chan got dragged away and had to hang out with Rachel’s friend group leaving you to hang out with Changbin, and Jisung and his date.

You and Changbin spent most the night talking and eventually Jisung made both of you dance with him. When a slow song came one you watched from across the dance floor as your best friend danced with another girl. Changbin immediately took your hand leading you to the dance floor so you could dance. him. He held you close swaying to the rhythm of the slow song. You couldn’t help but look up every so often at Chan dancing with Rachel. There was a stabbing feeling in your chest that let you know that you were very much in love with your best friend.

-NOW-

It had been a month and half since your break up, in that time you had seen a handful of your ex’s friends and heard them whisper about you cheating on him. It wasn’t worth the waste of breath to tell them you didn’t cheat. You only cared that nobody said anything to Chan.

You were just trying really hard to avoid Minyoung but it’s a little hard when you find him at your front door one evening. You had been getting ready for Chan to come over so he could order take out with you.

It takes everything in you not to slam the door right in his face. “We need to talk,” you can tell by the look on his face. He's clearly upset.

“I don’t want to talk,” you groan. You’re exhausted from this breakup and the last thing you want to do is talk to him.

“YN please let me in so we can talk.”

Stepping aside, Minyoung walks into your living room. He walks a few feet into your living room when he turns around to face you. He crosses his arms as he knits his eyebrows together staring at you. “You know the other night I saw you at the bar with Angel, Minho and Chan?” Of course he’s brought up when he saw you out with Chan. “Why am I not shocked that Chan slid in the moment he had a chance?”

You have a gut feeling you know where this conversation is going. Before you can say anything your front door opens and Chan walks in he clearly used his key you gave him. You don’t know if you’re excited Chan can save you from this conversation or worried about what might happen. Chan’s eyes are immediately locked on Minyoung as he takes his shoes off by the door. Your ex turns around and lets out a loud laugh at the site of your best friend.

“You got to be fucking kidding?” Minyoung says. “I don’t think I was lying when I said you were cheating on me with Chan,” he glares at you but you can’t even look at him. You’re just looking at Chan who goes from looking confessed to angry quite quickly.

“Minyoung what the fuck are you talking about?” Chan finally speaks. He walks over so he’s standing off to the side but between you and your ex.

You close your eyes scrunching your nose. You know that Chan is going to be pissed that your ex is spreading rumors about you. “He’s been telling people that I cheated on him with you.”

There is a long beat of silence and Chan looks like he’s trying his hardest to calm down. Biting your bottom lip you nervously mess with the sleeve of your sweater. Chan stops looking at Minyoung and he immediately looks at you. “That’s why you were upset at my party huh?”

“Oh how sweet, did she run to her Channie for comfort?” Minyoung lets out a bitter laugh.

“Shut up Minyoung,” you shout. “You need to leave.” You can’t stand to look at him anymore.

“I’ll leave but I need you to answer this one thing. Tell me to my face you don’t have feelings for him. Tell me you aren’t in love with him.” He stares right at you. You glance up at Minyoung for a second before looking down at your feet. You can’t tell him the truth and if you lie to him that could hurt Chan. “Your silence speaks volumes. Chan I hope you're happy you ruined everything.”

“Shut the fuck up Minyoung,” Chan steps between you and Minyoung and pushes your ex’s chest. “We’re just friends,” Chan sounds the angriest you’ve ever heard him.

“Don’t try this ‘just friends’ bullshit with me. She can’t even say she doesn’t have feelings for you. Anyone with eyes can see the way you look at her.”

You reach up grabbing Chan’s arm to pull him away from Minyoung before he does something he might regret. Chan’s never been a violent person, but you know he would do anything to protect you and your honor. “Chan he’s not worth it,” you whisper. Chan turns around to look at you and you can see the hurt behind his eyes.

“I’m not blind I saw your lingering touches on her whenever you got a chance,” Minyoung continued. “I see the way you look at her, and unfortunately I saw the way she looks at you.”

“Get the fuck out before I physically remove you,” Chan growls.

“I think you both just proved my point,” Minyoung says before leaving and slamming the door.

Standing in your living room still holding onto Chan’s arm. There is a suffocating silence taking over the room. You release his arm and step back pushing your fingers through your hair.

“Why couldn’t you tell him you weren’t in love with me,” he sighs. You look up into his sad brown eyes. He looks like he’s on the verge of crying. Stepping forward you rest your hand on his cheek. He leans into your touch, closing his eyes. His eyes slowly open and he opens his mouth with his lip quivering, “I think I know why you didn’t say anything but I need to hear you say it.”

That’s it, eight years of bottled up feelings finally need to be laid out on the table. You can’t deny your feelings to yourself or him anymore. If you lie to him and yourself and tell him you don’t love him you’ll lose him. Some things are worth the risk in life and nothing has been worth more of a risk this. You take our hand off his cheek and take a deep breath.

“I love you. I think I have since that first summer I moved in,” the suffocating weight has finally been lifted off your chest. “Please tell me you love me too, because I’m so scared I’m going to lose you,” you suddenly want to cry. Your eyes are brimming with tears as you look at your best friend. “I pushed away these feelings for so long, and I can finally tell you I have always loved you.”

He takes your face in both his hands before leaning forward and brushing his nose against yours the same way he did that fateful night you slept together. “I have loved you since the moment I met you. I fell so hard for you the first movie night we had at my house with Bin and Jisung when we were fourteen. I never stopped loving you, and do you know how hard it was to let you go after that night we slept together.”

“Why didn’t we confess then?” The tears slowly start sliding down your cheek.

“Because we were both dumb, but we were both so scared.” His thumb brushes the tear away from your cheek. “Let’s not waste another moment. I love you so much and I don’t want to watch you date any more of these idiots.”

“I don’t want to date anyone else.”

Leaning forward he presses his lips to yours for the first kiss you’ve shared since your one night together. This kiss was different from the first. Butterflies flutter in your stomach as your lips move together. He’s still holding your face in his hands. Your fingers grip his shirt holding him close to you. Pulling his lips away from yours he rested his forehead against yours.

“We’ve missed out on so much time together,” he whispered. “I watched you try dating other people, but I couldn’t bring myself to even try to love anyone else. A part of me has always been waiting for you.” He brushes his lips against yours for another kiss. “I've been waiting for us.”

Stepping back from him you take a moment to just look at him. Reaching down you take his hand. He doesn’t say anything as you lead him off to your bedroom.

“Channie, I don't want to waste another moment. Will you make love to me?” He stands there staring at you nervously.

“I’m still not super experienced. I’ve only slept with two other people,” you think back to the few drunken nights Chan had when you were dating other people and Chan would spend parties talking to other girls. He stopped showing interest in other people like that during sophomore year.

You step back pulling off your sweater. “That’s fine Chan.” You step closer to him reaching for the bottom of his shirt. “I just want to be with you.”

You both strip down to your underwear and you lead Chan to your bed. Sitting on your bed with his back against the headboard you sit on his thighs. Your lips move together as his hand roams your back. His hands brush against the clasp of your bra and you smile pulling away. His hand reaches up and pushes your bra straps off your shoulders. He reaches behind you stumbling a little but works on unclasping your bra.

Sitting on his thighs completely bare from the waist up you reach forward kneading his already hardened erection straining against his black boxer briefs. The moment you make contact a moan passes his lips as his head rolls back against the wall. Leaning forward you press your lips to his throat. You kiss your way from the bottom of his throat up his jaw until you reach his lips again. His hands find their way to your breast. One hand focuses on pinching your nipple while the other hand massages your other breast. Pulling your lips away from his you moan at the feeling of his hands on you. Rolling your head back you moan his name.

He presses his lips to the juncture where your neck meets your shoulder and leaves a wet kiss before nipping at your skin.

“Chan,” you gasp.

His hand travels up to your neck and his thumb runs across the center of your throat. Your eyes open as you look at him curiously. “Your neck is so pretty,” he murmurs before pressing an open mouth kiss to the delicate skin on your neck. Something clicks as he pulls away staring at you.

“Chan, when you’ve slept with other people did you try anything new?” You think back to the handful of guys you’ve been with. A couple have been better than others. One of them from junior year was really into experimenting.

“Not really,” he says with his cheeks flushing.

“That’s fine, maybe we can experiment in the future,” you smile.

“The future?” he says almost as if he’s unsure of what the future holds.

“Yes, the future. Chan, we're in it for the long haul. I like to think the long haul involves us having sex whenever we want,” you laugh a little.

“I would like to try new things with you,” he leans forward pressing his lips to yours for another kiss.

“Anything you want to try?” you ask, as his hand rests on your throat again.

“Jisung mentioned that Honey likes it when he puts pressure on her throat,” his thumb gently brushes against your windpipe.

Biting your bottom lip you try your hardest to hold back a smile. Of course Jisung likes choking his girlfriend, and of course he told Chan about it. The idea of Chan trying out new kinks on you is exciting. “If you want to try it you have my consent. If you want to try anything on me, all you have to do is ask.”

He puts a little bit of pressure on your throat and it feels exciting. You roll your hips against his strained erection earning a moan from him. He leans forward pressing his lips to yours for a heated kiss and he releases your throat letting you fully breathe for a moment before putting pressure on your throat again. You moan into his mouth rolling your hips again.

“I need to be inside you,” he groans, removing his hand from your throat.

You crawl off him removing your underwear and Chan lifts his hips removing his boxers. Reaching into your night stand you pull out the box of condoms you have and sit them down the nightstand. You pull out one foil packet and hand it to chan. He tears the packet open and slides the rubber down his strained cock. You crawl back onto his lap. Pushing your fingers through his curls he gives you a soft smile. His hands rub your sides as he stares into your eyes. He’s giving you that same look he always gives you like you're the sun to his moon, except there’s a lust filled haze there too.

“For future reference I’m on the pill and clean. So if you want to go bare, feel free to.”

He groans tilting his head back, “you’re going to kill me.”

“Why am I going to kill you?” you laugh.

“The thought of filling you up is enough to kill me,” he obviously was a little embarrassed at admitting this.

“Do you have a breeding kink I should know about,” you can’t help but smile. There is something so relaxing about this conversation between you. A heavy sigh passes his lips letting you know he does. “Chan, we can play into that one time if you want.” You lift your hips so you’re hovering over his hardened length. “Are you ready?” you whisper running his length through your wet folds. You moan as his flush head nudges your sensitive clit.

“Oh god yes,” he moans.

Slowly you sink down on his length taking his cock bit by bit. Once you’re filled to the hilt resting on his thighs you lean forward connecting your lips to his for a searing kiss. One hand grips your hip while the other takes your breast in his hand. You lift your hips slowly until just the tip is left inside you before sinking down slowly.

His lips are connected to your throat. Kissing his way across your delicate skin. Every so often you hear him whisper, “baby.” He’s never called you that before.

The room is filled with the echoing sounds of you chanting his name like a prayer and his breathless moans.

“Baby you feel perfect and so tight squeezing me cock,” he moans. Him talking dirty to you is absolutely exciting.

“Chan you feel so big,�� you moan. You want him to know how good he’s making you feel. He thrust up to help you along the way as you ride him. The curve of his cock is hitting just the right place inside you. The man you’re having sex is a very different boy then the only you lost your virginity to. There is a new confidence in Chan as he helps guide your hips up and down his cock.

“I love you,” you say.

He nods his head rapidly, “I love you so fucking much.”

Taking his face in both your hands you crash your lips into his as you continue to ride him, chasing your high. He’s already lasted longer than your first time by far and the way moving you against his cock he doesn’t like he’s close. You kiss him like you need him to breathe. He is the oxygen you need in your lungs.

Pulling your lips away from him you desperately say, “I’m so close.” He’s pushing you closer and closer to the edge.

“Baby come for me,” he pleads.

A few more drags of his cock hitting the electric part inside you sends you over the edge. You moan his name loudly as a white hot wave takes over you. Throwing your head back he connects his lips to your throat as he continues to move you up and down his length helping you ride out your high. He slams you down hard once on his length as he finds his own lease in the rubber around his length. You roll your hips a few times before his whimpers. You are still resting on his lap with him still snug inside you.

“Have I mentioned I love you,” he says as his breathing steadies.

“I don’t think I will ever get over hearing you say that.”

He leans forward resting his nose against yours, “I don’t want to ever let you go.”

A soft laugh passes your lips, “I’m not going anywhere Chan.”

You crawl off his lap laying on your back on top of your blankets. It feels so normal just laying there naked with him. He sits there for a moment before removing his condom, tossing it in the waste bin. He jumps out of bed and runs out of your room naked. You can’t help but smile at the site of his cute ass leaving your room. He comes back into the room with a warm washcloth.

“Spread your legs baby,” there is that nickname again. You could get used to him calling you baby.

You spread your legs and he gently wipes your moist core. “Channie, you really only need to do that when you cum inside me.”

“Let me take care of you,” he says.

“Chan do you really have a breeding kink?” you’re dying to know if this is going to be something you get to play with in bed.

He tosses the washcloth in the hamper by your door and lays on the bed next to you. “I didn’t before today, but I love the idea of getting to fill you up with my cum. Maybe it’s because one day I want it all with you. I want to marry you and have kids with you.”

Your heart swells at the thought of having a little family with him. “You love me so much that you want to marry me and knock me up?” you move so you’re resting right next to him with your head on his chest.

“Are you going to let me do those things to you?” he gently rubs your side holding you close.

“The marriage or knocking me up?” “Bambi,” he says, earning a laugh from you. “I want to do both with you.”

“That’s good because I want you to do both,” you smile.

You fall asleep in bed with him, but this time it’s different because he holds you in his arms while you sleep. In the morning you wake up to him spooning you and holding him close. His morning wood pressing against your ass leads to morning sex where you get to test out Chan’s newly discovered breeding kink. You spend the whole next day together in your apartment before heading back to Chan’s place where you find Jisung and Honey eating dinner with Hyunjin and Changbin.

When you walk through the front door Changbin lights up at the sight of you and Chan holding hands. He gets up from the table and walks over to you and Chan with a huge smile on his face. “It’s about damn time you finally admitted you’re in love.”

𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝. 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬.

I realize this story hinted at someone else having a crush that hasn’t been brought. That might have to get brought of in future connecting stories.

𝘏𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘫𝘪𝘯'𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘍𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘉𝘢𝘣𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘔𝘪𝘯𝘩𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘦'𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘖𝘧 𝘔𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘴. 𝘐 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘍𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘹'𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺. 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧.

a lot of people asked to be tagged but when I tried tagging you your username wouldn’t come up.

@sstarryoong @hiseu @whatudowhennooneseesyou @svintsandghosts @gingertalksshit @palecoffeeruins @bubblelixie @lmhcats @hyynee @tanyas97 @lilacisentyou @ladybaudelaire @waitingforskz @penny44224 @danihernande @oxzie @leomggg @lachinitaaaaa @mattmurdockcansteponme @questiontotheanswer @avaskz @eunoia-kth @straykisz @kosmoskookie @changbinscypher @planetdemon @minaamhh @hugs4chan @cb97zone @hiseu @laylasbunbunny @caroline-ds-world @neosfw @minaamhh @idek-at-this-point-lol @jisungsbff01 @starshine-moon @hwang232 @ftwgyu @catyae @sstarryoong @hisgzel @jdbxws

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sordidmusings · 7 months

Text

Switching Up Roles - Part 1/2 (Buggy x Reader)

A/N: So the request got insaaaaanely out of hand cuz I can't shut the fuck up about this stupid clown 🙃 In the future I gotta have requests ask for headcanons, full fic, or headcanons with drabbles in the future so I can put a cap on my brain lol I had also been wanting to write Switch!Buggy learning to embrace the sub part of himself. I wanted to get part of it out and the set up cuts off pretty cleanly here. There is a taste of smut in it, but it stays with the style of the exposition for the most part instead of really delving into it.

Word count: ~1760 (The draft is at 8100 rn 🧍🏻‍♀️)

Warnings: afab!reader (no pronouns), switch!reader, switch!Buggy, NSFW, p in v, creampie, they're like probably too into each other, Buggy leans towards opla Buggy, I have a propensity to just keep sentences going man

I hope you enjoy a taste and thank you for your patience 🙏🏻

Part 2

~ ~ ~ ••• ✦✦✦ ••• ~ ~ ~

You’d always had a hunch about Buggy. It started with little things like how his grunts and moans would sometimes slip in and out of something more whiny and breathy. How the look in his eyes would turn from something rabid and devouring into something desperate and uncertain. Maybe he was just more comfortable using the whole range of his voice than most men. Maybe that look just came from the insecurity in him that you were constantly trying to wring out with every lingering hug and reassuring whisper.

Speaking of those, he drank them up like an addict. Now, it’s not like you think it’s abnormal to enjoy soft touches and sweet words; everyone wants those from their partner in one form or another. The thing is, Buggy seemed to hang on those words with extra ardor. He’d focus on you like nothing else existed. He’d twist and turn both himself and his comfort zone in order to receive them. Whenever he accomplished something, whether it was as big as defeating a new enemy or as small as making a new joke, he would turn his face to seek you out like a plant’s leaves reaching to feel the sun. He’d go to you whenever he was uncertain. Difficult announcements were made with you within arm’s reach, vital decisions were made with you sitting thigh to thigh, and battles were fought with the two of you back to back.

Despite his status as captain, Buggy was always following you. Of course, he was the one in charge, the one who gave orders, but you were the one for whom he would change those orders or redirect his path. When you entered a room, he was the one to go to you. It was only on rare occasions that he’d order you to him like an owner would a dog. His calls for you were greetings, that is if he wasn’t getting up to lead you in himself. Buggy did know how to demand but he preferred to handle you with invitations.

Even so, you were well versed in Buggy leading you to touch or lay where and how he wanted. The extending months of your relationship have been filled with the two of you pushing and pulling at each other, empty of any thoughts and aims other than the need you had for each other. He has growled out commands and desires, expecting you to do just as he asked and he fit the role of manhandling you into a compliant sub very well. There were times when it seemed to be just that though - a role. Not every time; the more starved for your body he seemed, the more he’d take you just how he wanted. Now that you were months in and the pent up “what if”s were easing into the new joy of deep connection, his need for your body settled to hunger while his appetite for connecting to You became insatiable. Being able to allocate more time to exploring each other let latent behaviors break through the frantic way that you two tried to consume one another. Buggy had always aimed for your pleasure, hitting steady bullseyes, but now he was consciously seeking it and looking for new avenues to sate you and file them away for the future. He gained the clarity to observe while he was flooding himself with you.

You also noticed that with this change of pace came his need to chase your movements. You don’t think Buggy was even aware of the way he would lean his body towards you no matter the time or place, the way he would follow your lips whenever you pulled away, or the way his body would seek out your hands and happily mold to their movements like you were an artist working with clay. There was the way he seemed almost relieved when you would guide him. It appeared that he savored the time to unload the responsibility of decisions onto someone else but he had never known anyone he could trust to give him that peace before.

You understood that need. The rush you got when you only had to think of pleasing him and then hearing him tell you how good you were at doing just that? It was euphoria all on its own. It had you feeling like you knew in your core that you were doing something right and that you were making your love feel good - feel proud and happy. While you enjoyed partaking in it yourself, you had no problem taking control to give that to Buggy. Honestly it was a dynamic that was sounding tastier by the day. Seeing him act out of need for your direction and approval made you crave it more each time. You were eager to see him when he loses himself in the role of being what you want. You’re positive he’d take to it well; all you want is him after all, but now that he’s given pieces of himself to you, you want all of him. You want him to expose his needs to you, right down to the core of his desires, so that you could feel the thrill of holding that trust and vulnerability. You want to prove to him that he is always safe with you and that you can fulfill all that he wants and more.

One night a few weeks back, you got the final evidence you needed to feel confident labeling him as a switch like yourself. It was one of the few times Buggy was letting you ride him when he was close (he seemed to be embarrassed of the way it would pull out higher pitched moans from him, no matter how you complimented them), and he had let himself fall further into acting without thought than he usually would beneath you. His typical grapple with composure was replaced by him melting into bliss, leaving you a Buggy who was slack-jawed, glassy eyed, and trembling. You could still feel some hesitancy in the way he kept making his eyes focus on you even when they wanted to roll back or the way he would reign in his volume after a particularly (and deliciously) loud moan. His hands still went through the motions of guiding your hips, but this time your hips were pushing into that heavy grip instead of his hold directing the bounce and grind of your body on his.

Even though the feeling of his cock splitting you open and rubbing deliciously from your clenching entrance to the deepest stretch of your cunt left you struggling for thought, you were determined to keep an eye out for his tells that he would try to flip you back over. Whenever Buggy blinked some focus back into his eyes, you leaned down and captured his panting mouth in sloppy kisses. His eagerness to feel your swollen lips and teasing tongue made it easy to kiss his mind back into a blur. When he planted a hand down and sat himself up, you tightened your core to clench down on him and changed to the heavy grinds that made him weak with the way he could feel every hot, plush inch of you gripping him. He fell down to his elbow, but when you followed him to nibble at his ear and fill it with moans, he lost all his strength and collapsed back on the bed.

You kept at it because you needed to cum on top of him. The promise of a body shaking orgasm always came to you in the squeeze of your thighs around his waist, the grind of his pelvis on your clit, the way you could change your angle to have the head of his cock massaging whichever spot felt the most electric in the moment. It took hold of your mind with the way you got to look down on him spread out beneath you while he looked up at you with that desperate face. You could see how steeped he was in pleasure and need from his furrowed brow and shining eyes. Buggy always fell into the most beautiful, incoherent mess when you were the one leading him. His long blue hair spread out wildly, the few strands sticking to his face bringing out his pink flush. His gorgeous eyes, highlighted by stripes of blue makeup and long fluttering lashes, glistened up at you. His painted red mouth looked all the more tempting with how his kiss-wet lips parted for him to gasp in air and breathe out moans.

With little warning, Buggy sobbed out an overwhelmed, “Fuuu-hah-huuuuck,” and the next thing you knew strong hands yanked you down and he trapped you close in an iron grip. His forehead dug into your neck and his humid breath tingled down your chest. All you could feel, hear, smell was Buggy - so much burning skin, jumbled curses, lingering sea salt. His hands scrambled on your back, pulling you closer like he needed it to live, and amidst all the sensation you felt his cock pressed tight into you, twitching heavily with each wave of hot cum it pumped into you. It shoved you immediately far over the edge and you curled into him, squeezing and shaking and grabbing and gasping. You got what you were promised and your body shook, letting you get extra jolts of friction against his still pulsing cock.

The come down was slow and lethargic with the two of you molded to each other and unwilling to leave the moment behind. Your breaths eventually slowed while you both enjoy giving and receiving little trailing touches. Your brain was high from the intense orgasm and the building joy that you can finally open the door on this aspect of your relationship where Buggy lets himself submit.

That is, until he ruins it.

Both of you were too tired to say much of anything through the swift cleanup and release to slumber. You didn’t think anything of it, because it wasn’t the first time it happened. You did start to catch on to Buggy’s avoidance when he would find convenient ways to dance around the topic or disappear when you were leading up to it. It became unquestionable when he started to run out of clever escape routes. The final straw was when you approached him with an “I wanna talk about the other night” and he did a 180 with a panicked “forgot some captain stuff for the thing” yelled back to you. So you let it drop. For a time.

You spotted your opportunity just over three weeks after you’d dropped the subject. Buggy continued to slip around you for almost two of those weeks, approaching you with the same caution a child would when entering a haunted house on a dare. He held the same nervous excitement and insatiable curiosity too. The whole time, you pretended that you hadn’t noticed. You were well practiced in the art of playing blind; Buggy wore his emotions on his sleeve whether he wanted to or not, and he loved that you would let him pretend some of it didn’t happen. Even though he knew you sometimes played it to your advantage and still let most of your comments and cackles out during his outbursts and foibles. He just paid you back for those with his own tricks and teasing and all’s fair in love and war.

You knew not to strike right away. You needed to reaaaaally let him settle back into normalcy between you two so that The Incident wasn’t on his mind. Not that you’d been able to get it out of yours; you were endlessly replaying the memory of him being seized by instinct and impulse so violently that he clung to you like he could never be close enough while you made him cum so hard that his dick felt like someone was jolting a toy inside you. Whether the imagery came to you on purpose or involuntarily, it always had you squirming and looking for some way to get off.

Today had been especially filled with that memory, but luck was on your side, finally ready to reward you for your patience. Buggy had been getting a bit exhausted recently, prepping the crew, the ship, and everything on it for a risky raid happening next week. It would be the culmination of a few months planning, and he had been running himself ragged making sure that everything would go smoothly. And, when it didn’t, there was a backup plan and at least two more backup plans for that one.

He had been seeking rest from you more than interaction the past few days - falling asleep almost immediately after getting back to his room late, giving you long hugs where he’d close his eyes if only for a minute and let you hold up some of his weight, scarfing down his food so he could power nap with his head on your thigh while you finished your own meal. If he was doing something that only needed one hand, he’d send the other to you so he could have the comfort of your touch and the pick me up from feeling your occasional squeeze on it. He had to find and stop you the time you decided to massage his overworked hand, because the relaxing feeling had him zoning out through full conversations.

All that to say, the man clearly needed someone to force a break on him and take care of him. Just as clearly, Buggy was needing that care from you so much that he was allowing himself to seek you out in ways that he (wrongfully) feared would annoy or drain you. His exhaustion outweighing that sea-sized insecurity of his was the cue you’d been looking out for. If he really didn’t want to be submissive to you then that’s fine, but you’d be damned if it was just his own negative self-talk keeping the two of you from feeling that way again or from bonding even closer with another dynamic to exchange trust and affection. After all, that act of trust being met with affection is one of the best ways to chip away at his self-doubt and self-loathing.

~ ~ ~ ••• ✦✦✦ ••• ~ ~ ~

More to come - hope you enjoyed 🤍

#buggy the clown #buggy x reader #opla buggy x reader #buggy x you #buggy x y/n #one piece #my writing #thirst hours #gn reader #afab reader #x reader

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sinfulpanda16 · 3 months

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Forget Him Sweetheart

Gojo Saturo x fem reader

Synopsis: You were just cheated on by your shit ex and go seek comfort from your friend Gojo, but one thing leads to another and soon you receive a huge comfort

You open the door to your apartment and head inside. So many things going on in your head and all of it gave you the biggest migraine. You close the door behind you and set your keys on the little table beside you. You stand there for a second and then your tears start to fall. You were able to hold them back when you saw your boyfriend cheating on you, on the drive home, and on the way up to your apartment. You wanted to be that woman you've always seeked to be. The one that would throw away her man like trash when he was caught cheating and not even be phased about it, but you couldn't hold them back. It only hurt your head more.

You walk to your bedroom and wrap yourself under the covers. This pain was immense, it hurt so much anyone could hear it in your cry. You grab one of your stuffed animals and cry into them trying to avoid being too loud. You never thought of yourself as cheatable but right now that's all you're calling yourself. Someone who can be cheated on easily. That night you fall asleep crying thinking that the last thing you thought of was yourself as unlovable but really the last thought in your head before you fell asleep was the thought of him, Gojo Saturo.

The next day you were working at your job. A cafe where a regular would visit. All the baristas fawned over him and honestly you did too. How could you not he was so tall and charming and not to sound full of yourself, he had a thing for you. Always calling you by pet names, sweet thing and sweetheart, he made you feel beautiful. Your friend had a way with women and you've always told him his future wife would be the luckiest girl on earth.

Speak of the devil, a tall white-head enters the cafe and immediately makes eye contact with you. He smirks and goes to sit at a table by the window. You go and stand next to him, "Hello ready for your order?"

Gojo looks up at you with an eyebrow raised, "What's wrong sweetheart. No 'Good Sir' today?" You have gotten close to him to the point where you'd call him Sir or Mr as a joke. Your guys relationship had a little bit of teasing in it but thats all it was you never thought more of it.

You gave a weak smile. "Oh sorry, I've just been," a flashback of your boyfriend kissing another womans neck came to your head. You heart pound against your chest and you subconsciously clutched the fabric of your uniform above your heart. You sighed, "I just been under the weather lately." You tried of thinking about anything else that would stop the tears from falling.

Gojo did not like the view in front of him. Why was sweet thing crying? He could tell that something was wrong but he knew he shouldn't push you here of all places. He could also tell that you were trying to hide it and probably felt embarrassed.

He chuckles softly, "Well then, I have my order ready."

You look at him and get ready to write down his order in your little notepad. He looks at you, "The whole menu. Cuz it's me-n-u." You're stunned but you laugh anyway. Gojo smirks, there we go that's better. Seeing that smile on your face just looks right.

You shove his shoulder playfully, "You wierdo."

He chuckles, "Ok for real though, can I get the espresso with..." he looks back at the menu for a bit but then turns to you "What are your favorite cookies from here?"

You smile at him, "I like (f/c). They're amazing Gojo! You should try them."

He puts his menu down, "Alright then sweetheart I'll have two (f/c) please."

You write down his order in your little notepad and giggle, "Alright then we'll have your order ready for you in no time."

He leans back in his chair "I'll be waiting. Don't take too long." he says giving you a wink. You blush and turn around to make his coffee all while Gojo stares at you in your cute uniform.

Gojo is smooth as hell. He didn't take his eyes of you. Anytime you were gonna look at his direction he'd already turn away to avoid your gaze. His strong instincts just knew that something was wrong. While you were making his coffee you looked a bit too sad when usually you would be smiling and he'd get to enjoy watching you be cute. Whatever happened to make you this depressed made him want to fight your problems for you. He would fight for you but you two established from the start that you guys would just be friends and so he knew it was not his place to go fending for you. That was your boyfriends' job.

After a while he finishes his drink and was on his last cookie. He grabs the last one and takes a bite of it. Why are you so cute? Even your favorite cookies were cute like you. He gets up and heads towards you where you were cleaning one of the tables. He acts dramatic when he says "MMM! These are good. I was expecting you to have terrible taste." he teases.

"Tch you're the one with terrible taste. Don't go rubbing it off on me." you tease back. By now the cafe has gotten filled with customers so you go back cleaning the table you were cleaning. You wish you could've just stayed home and take the day off. After what happened last night you honestly didn't have the will to work today. But if you didn't than you never were gonna become that strong woman who doesn't cry over a man.

"Sweet thing." Gojo calls for you softly interrupting your thoughts.

You look up at him. Although his eyes are covered with a blindfold, you can still read his facial expression. He had a soft look on him like if he was worried for you. You stare at his facial features and then he holds out the last piece of his (f/c) for you to eat. You stood there frozen for a sec. The rest of the cafe disappeared and right now it was just you and him. Then after a while you open your mouth and go to eat the cookie he has in his hand for you. You were careful to not put your lips on his fingers, but you accidentally did, and you didn't move back. You loved his taste and frankly he loved the feeling your pretty lips touching his fingers. You slowly pull away and chew on the cookie and then looked up at him.

He's looking down at you and then he rests the palm of his hand on your cheek. "Listen darling, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. I'm here to listen and comfort you. Ok?" he says waiting for a response.

In a quiet voice you say "Ok" and he smiles softly at you. Without another word he turns around and leaves. You stood there for a bit watching him leave.

For the rest of your shift, you didn't stop thinking about him. Truth is you did need someone to talk to and you also just wanted to see and be with him. So when you got of work instead of going home you went to his place. You're not sure why but you get the feeling that soon after your gonna forget all about these thrash feelings right now.

Finally you arrive and you go up to his door. You ring the doorbell to his huge house and after a while he opens the door. "Oh sweet thing! What are you doing here?" he asks leaning towards you.

You respond shyly "You said I can talk to you when I need someone. Gojo I need someone." Gojo shocked allows you inside and he brings you to his living room. He was being so sweet the entire time. You've never seen this side of him and you've never had anyone be that kind to you. Not even your own boyfriend. Your boyfriend cheating came back to mind.

You stop walking and Gojo turns around and goes to you a bit worried. You sniff "I'm sorry it's just-" you get cut off by Gojo. Telling you that shouldn't apologize for feeling upset. Gojo goes closer to you and you feel safe. Such a pretty feeling, you've been around strong men before but not once have you ever felt this intense feeling of comfort and security.

You let go, "My boyfriend cheated on me. I don't know why he did it. I know I'm not all that pretty but the least he could've done is brake up with me. It would've stung yes but not as much as this." You continue to cry and the entire time Gojo hates it. That fucking bastard. He thought that guy was doing his job of fending for you.

"I'm such an unlovable piece of shit! I'm not worth being loved"

Those words made Gojo wrap his arms around you. He was avoiding touching you because he didn't want to invade any of your personal space, but after hearing those heartbreaking words he knew he had to hold you.

You continue to let out your emotions in his chest. The whole time Gojo did not let go and after a while you begin to calm down. "Baby listen to me." Baby? You wipe your tears again and look up at him. "Its the other way around, that bastard does not deserve to love you. You deserve only the best kind of love and trust me when i say you do have it." He pulls a strand of hair behind your ear. He smirks, "I know you're not supposed to hear this right now but I love you sweetheart. Always had and always will and hearing you talk like this hurts. Seeing you cry hurts sweet thing. You are loved. I love you sweetheart."

God how you needed to hear those words. I love you. And those words are coming from him. You slowly start to realize the whole time you should've been with him. You start to realize that it's not your fucking boyfriend cheating on you that made you cry. It was the lack of love. The lack of his love. It was him that made has always made you feel beautiful and loved and right now you wanted that even more.

Gojo notices how your look went from sadness to lust. Careful with his next move he decides to let you do whatever you want to him. You lean in closer to lips and with that he lets you kiss him. Thats all he needed and now he can pull you closer by you waist and deepen your kiss. He continues to kiss you and then pulls away.

The taste was amazing unlike anything you've ever tasted before. Gojo smirks, "I wasn't expecting you to get so bold sweet thing." You're so hot now. You want more of him.

"Gojo please~" you sigh.

"What? Does baby want me to help her feel good?" he teases.

Now you go to kiss him again to which he happily returns. Without breaking the kiss he picks you up effortlessly and you wrap your legs around his waist. He takes you upstairs to his bedroom and places you on his bed. He gets on top of you and smirks, "Let me help you forget him sweetheart."

He takes your clothes off and you take his off. There you two were, fully naked with him on top but he was still wearing his blindfold. You reach out to take it off of him and he let's you, revealing his beautiful blue eyes. "You look beautiful" you tell him. He smiles and kisses your lips "As do you sweetheart"

He kisses every part of your body making sure you understand just how much he loves every part of you. All this riled up energy both of you have for each other leads to him positioning himself at your entrance already. You look up him with those gorgeous eyes and he goes to kiss you on your lips, "I'm gonna take good care of you darling." and before you can say anything he starts sliding into you.

He's so big, "Ah~ Gojo" you whimper and the only thing Gojo hears is music to his ears. Fuck so far he's been loving your cute noises but that whimper of filling you up made him smirk. He kisses your neck "Fuck baby you're so tight~" he says in a husky voice. You wrap your arms around his neck and wrap your arms around his waist wanting to feel every bit of him.

Gojo holds onto your hips "You're so cute when you're like this." he dotes on you. You look up at him with little tears in his eyes, "Please move~". So demanding, he licks your tears away and smirks, "Your wish is my command." He starts thrusting into you causing a wave of euphoria to rush into both of you. You feel amazing, he feels like he's in heaven and he wants, needs, you to feel the same so he focuses and making you feel good.

"Fuck yes~" you moan out loud. He's pounding into you with such force its driving you wild. As he continues to thrust into you he's looking at your face. Seeing you feel so good made him feel good and your noises drive him wild. You look into his eyes and the whole world disappears. Right now it's just you two making love and it feels so heavenly.

"Kiss me~" you moan, he leans in and kisses you. The kiss was full of passion and lust.

He pulls away, continuing to thrust into you the room full of moans and your whimpering. "Is my princess feeling good~" he moans to you which you nod your head, "Yes baby~ you feel so fucking good~"

50 minutes later of him thrusting into you and you hanging on for dear life and your phone rings. Gojo didn't even see it but it was right beside your head. He looks at the caller ID and its that fucking bastard. He answers the call and puts it on loud speaker.

Baby can we please talk about this

At the sound of that Gojo starts thrusting in and out faster and rougher and you moan but he's quick to kiss you, so you don't give away your secret just yet.

I miss you (Y/N). That girl meant nothing to me, I promise if you come back things will be different.

Gojo is thrusting into you with rage. He'll be damned if he thinks you'll go back to him. You whimper his name making Gojo smirk, he's got you now and he's not gonna let you go.

"(Y/N) please give me another chance.

Both of you laughed at that and Gojo pulls out flips you onto your tummy thrusts back into you causing you to let out a load moan. He's pounding you faster and rougher and he's not being dicrete about it anymore.

"(Y/N)?" the guys calls for you with confusion in his voice.

Gojo smirks, "My baby isn't going back to him huh? Who do you belong to princess?" he asks between pants. Loud and and proud for him to hear. You respond "I belong to you Gojo.~" you say breathlessness and before the guy can say another word Gojo hangs up on him and now you're both at your reach.

"Gojo I'm *whimper* close~" you moan out. Gojo grabs your jaw and makes you look up at him. He kisses you, moaning in it, and then says "Me too baby. Together yeah? On three" you nod your head eagerly.

One.

You're already such a moaning mess and this causing you to moan even louder the whole world can hear.

Two.

Fuck Gojo is so close he starts pounding into you at an insane speed and with such force causing you cry out.

Three!

You both release and make it well known with your voices. He falls onto you panting and chuckles lightly, "That was amazing sweetheart." You reach up to play with his hair "You were amazing baby." He gives you a gentle kiss and says he'll be back. He leaves to the bathroom and comes back with a towel. He wipes you both down and then lays in bed with you holding you close.

"Gojo?" you call his name. He looks at you with his mesmerizing blue eyes, "I love you." he smiles "I love you too sweetheart"

You are that woman you want to be. A strong woman who forgets all about her cheating boyfriend and when she goes to find a better man to help her feel good.

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