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spif-lol · 6 months

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Reasons why the simpsons hit and run stream is jerma's best stream

it's ELEVEN HOURS LONG

you get to witness his slow descent into madness as he insists on playing the whole game in one sitting

I can watch it when i replay the game, would recommend makes it way more enjoyable

he spends too much time doing really bad impressions trying to copy voice lines for the game and yelling "HIRE ME IM AVAILABLE"

He decides to confess half an hour in that he knows nothing about the simpsons and has only seen like one or two episodes

this is ten minutes after he references a specific episode, and then proceeds to get told off for 'spoiling' an episode of the simpsons (from like 1995) by chat

Chat also somehow manages to convince him that ten year old boy Bart Simpson's famous catchphrase from everyone's favourite family animated tv show is 'eat ass'

In general it switches between him refusing to believe things people tell him about the game despite being true and falling for obvious lies

he starts the game going 'lol wouldnt it be funny if you could run over simpsons characters' and then jokingly drives towards civillians thinking they'll jump out of the way. they go flying. he is so confused

the dissonance between early and later parts of the stream are palpable. It turns from a cheerful and lighthearted exploration of a funny simpsons game that he refuses to take seriously or accept that it could genuinely make him angry, and transforms into a desperate race against time, his computer and his own hubris as he seeks simply to finish the game so he can sleep. This stream destroys him.

the way the stream highlights are named on his youtube is hilarious. "Jerma will not get angry at the simpson's hit and run" -> "Jerma might get a bit angry at the simpson's hit and run" -> "d'oh"

it's extremely funny how many time he's convinced he's in the last level of the game, only to be wrong. the first time he thinks that is in the first section and hour of the stream

easily his most rewatchable stream (this is gonna cover a lot of dot points)

the amount of tragic irony and foreshadowing in this stream is almost cinematic.

at the very start of the game he complains about the music being too loud and monologues about sounds and over stimulation of game music bothers him, which of course will be very funny in the finale

he also comments a few time at the start about how annoying homer's random voice lines are, and says 'oh god he's gonna repeat that a thousand times before the end of this game'. he's right, and it nearly drives him crazy by the final mission

speaking of the final mission(s), the second time he has to transport the toxic sludge from power plant to the school he like pauses the game and very seriously addresses chat like 'alright tell me right now are the next three levels also me driving the nuclear waste to the school that cant be possible right'. and then just accepting in defeat that that is in fact how this incredibly stupid and difficult children's game finishes

when he first races against the malibu stacy car and gets destroyed he gets mad and says he wishes he could drive that car. then when he gets to drive it in later levels he quickly decides its his favourite and maintains that until the end of the game

on rewatch... you hear him audibly crack open a can that chat demands he prove to them is soft drink and not alcohol like A WHOLE HOUR before The Incident and it's a little like watching a disaster movie where you see the characters laughing and having fun little knowing how they are being hastened towards their own doom... like chat keeps bugging him about it, he keeps making excuses, he keeps sipping the drink. they bring attention to it so much and you listen to it just knowing the pain that is yet to come. dramatic irony at its finest and most heartache inducing

15. ohmyfucking gaaaawd no! no... god... ICANDOITINAJUMP! ..... BART. WHERE IS HE??? BAAART!!!! AAAUUGH

16. actually fr there's a lot of memorable jerma lines in this stream, rewatching it is like watching a jerma funny moment compilation

17. the final couple of levels where he is getting steadily more overwhelmed to the point of ferality, and then he says he has an idea and goes to the sound menu and turns everything off. voice lines. music. sound effects. and then we watch him play the level in complete silence. and it actually helps him focus its really funny

18. the whole tragic sequence where he is in the FINAL LEVEL. he has played it so many times and just missed it by a few seconds. he is tired. he is hungry. he just wants to get off stream and eat a BURGER. he is focussing as hard as he can. he is almost there. he runs over too many things and the police are after him. but its okay. he's doing it! he's gonna make it!!! he gets to the school with time to spare and is sucked up into the end of the game beam. it's over. except then the police get sucked into the beam as well. he gets arrested in the beam. which teleports him and the car out of the beam. WHICH MEANS THE TIMER RUNS OUT AND HE LOSES. so he has to do it all over again. it's actually so so so funny and also something i think i personally wouldn't survive if i was in jerma's position in that moment

19. okay we have to talk about The Incident. bc i already alluded to it and bc like, i couldn't not talk about it. as stated above Jerma cracks open a can so you can hear it and chat immediately accuses him of being an alcoholic. he adamantly insists that it is a soft drink not a beer but they refuse to believe him unless he proves it by showing camera. he's playing on a modded ps2 pc port or whatever of the simpsons so it's a complicated setup and he explains that it would be too hard and also he's shirtless so they will just have to believe without seeing. chat continues to harass him while he goes on to play the game, specifically most of the lisa level. he laughs it off but eventually caves, gets up and get a blanket to cover himself and then alt tabs, holds his can up to the camera and says 'alright you satisfied? that might have just fucked up the game'. so then he tries to tab back into the game and it. crashes. hard. so hard that the game won't actually turn back on. so jerma's cursing and fiddling with the controls and saying its over. then it finally reboots and the game works and he's so relieved and it loads and he realises that he has lost SO MUCH PROGRESS. he's back at the start of the lisa section. this is truly the turning point of the game where it goes from being a fun experience to a nightmare gauntlet

20. on a related note: jerma waiting with bated breath *sound of simpsons game booting back up after refusing to for far too long* jerma: yeeeAAAAAH

21. im watching it right now as i replay, which is why im thinking about it obv. so i will almost certainly have more to add to this

#jerma #obviously jerma dollhouse and so on streams are probably the most iconic but simpsons hit and run is like #wonderful in a completely unplanned way #I'm also partial to his house flipper streams #if just for the bits and being a space for jerma to create the most insane things imaginable with only the slightest prompting from chat #vaguely unrelated: when my housemate got home and saw me playing simpsons hit and run while #rewatching jerma's stream at the same time they said that think if someone analysed my brain #and exposed a different brain to my content consuming process their brain would explode #so mean....#i was also listening to one of the jay eazy megaman remixes at the same time. my awesome mind

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bylerspookie · 8 months

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it's actually canon that Mike didn't fall in love with El at first sight fight me

firstly, that's just terrible writing. many writers, including the Duffers, have literally made fun of this trope.

remember Eden and Argyle??? THEY WERE LITERALLY MAKING FUN OF THE TROPE.

and they have Mike, right behind them, looking disgusted. in fact, that entire scene is queercoding for Mike but that's another story...

remember this?:

Mike, watching Lucas and Mike crush on Max:

Dustin/Lucas: She's awesome.

Mike: Awesome?? You haven't even spoken a word to her.

Mike, talking to Max:

Max: Why do you hate me so much?

Mike: Hate you? How can I hate you? I don't even know you.

REALLY GUYS??

you're all stupid if you think Mike's monologue was truthful and made to destroy Byler, it was literally made to destroy Mileven, why do you think El was ignoring Mike afterwards???

it goes down to the fact that Mike said I love you to El 9 times (9 represents failure in st), the fact that he talks about what she wears (it's a direct quote from Eddie), the fact that Eleven looks hurt when he says it, the fact that she loses (and Vecna just??? let it happen?? he knew it was gonna cause failure), the lights were flickering in a way of anger, not of love (we see how the lights look when she channels love vs when she channels anger), the fact that Will was right behind him in frame and literally had to rub his back and call him pets names in order for Mike to say it even though El was literally dying, the fact that Mike had to brace himself, the fact that "You're the heart" and "you're different" line up perfectly, the fact that he-

IF I GO ON I WON'T BE ABLE TO STOP.

#byler #mikes monologue #byler is real #byler is canon #byler is endgame #mike wheeler #byler nation #will byers #stranger things #mike wheeler is queer

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taeiris · 10 months

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okay guys here’s my crazy unsupported st5 theory that is mostly just me projecting my need for madwheeler bonding and drama and angst also byler duh

disclaimers: i never make theories so this is extremely messy probably, i know jack dookie abt writing shows i think of this as my own little version of what i would think would be very cool to happen, if this has loop holes dont ask me anything bc idk either

OKAY LETS GET ON IT

so first things first here is what i am taking into consideration for the theory to happen:

• mike pov, self reflection and introspection (he is gay and in love with will byers okay)

• madwheeler bonding, theyre both complex n misunderstood

• the upside down isnt just one dimension, i came up with this bc of how different the ud looks now

compared to when henry arrived.

to me theres like an umbrella dimension (yellow one) and others under it (blue one/hawkins ud, the void, etc)

this is also lowkey supported by the silly boobie diagram the writers posted abt

OKAY PREPARE FOR THE WORD VOMIT

in this silly theory of mine, a new dimension variant of the ud will be revealed in season 5, serving as a parallel to the void. this is where max is

OKAY another thing is this is also heavily based on those “leaks” that were going around twitter (for me at least) earlier when the strike first started. i remember a few of them claiming that we would get a deeper insight into mike and his own things, so this is my interpretation

this would serve as another vanishing, not really bc its shorter, but this time mike will be getting stuck in this other dimension, eventually finding max BOOM madwheeler serve

i mean look at them. the potential is insane

ANYWAYS

this dimension is like a combo of all the other ones, picture it like the hawkins ud, with the void’s wet floor maybe

lets go back to the fact max is here, this is her coma nightmare, its like this purgatory dimension vecna put her soul in

in this dimension inhabit your ghosts

this overwhelming, haunting, tormenting realm in your mind where you are constantly confronting all your bad memories, maybe this is kind of how vecna keeps max under his grasp, no happy memories allowed

okay so, mike gets there. how? when? i dont fucking know this is honestly just word vomit fanfiction to me

at first hes confused, scared but mostly confused, picture him screaming for wills name (the parallels) at first it’s empty and eerily quiet, but as he accepts it, the ghosts start coming in.

he gets BOMBARDED with these bad memories, some of them he cant even remember because come on, bro is always neglecting his internalized feelings/monologue in fear of what they say about him

this is where we get his pov on the whole will and eleven situation, amongst other things (like the way he’s constantly stressed thinking about the safety of the people he loves)

for a moment we see him break, bc these ghosts are LOUD and MANY

but it stops

max is here, she’s like “MIKE?”

“MAX?”

shes been here for a fat minute, she knows how to handle these ghosts in fact shes been going thru them one by one ever since, because shes done hiding. and she suspects that the only way to get out is by confronting them.

max saves mike from his ghosts, explains that this place is seemingly a purgatory with levels of memories and ghosts to overcome

this is how we get our madwheeler bonding we so graciously need, as they are part of eachother ghosts since theyre so similar it makes the other mad

this is how our complex misunderstood characters are broken down, explained to the audience, while also discovering the mystery that is this new dimension where at the finish line they might just figure out how to defeat vecna.

because they will

after overcoming the ghosts they find the place that vecna didnt think they would reach as he was so sure they would break and collapse on their own madness

think of it as how el found the source in season 3

or how max found vecnas lair after running away in dear billy

except this place is vecnas actual mind, they can see hear and feel what vecna is thinking, his plans and everything

mike wonders how will feels being able to feel this all the time

will feels this all the time

will is always connected to this piece of vecnas mind, to this source

he can always hear vecna

until he suddenly hears max… and mike and theyre calling for help

theyve figured out key clues on how to defeat vecna, and they have an idea on how to get out. this is how will’s connection comes in handy

mind walkie-talkie

maybe thats what this theory should be called, idk

so thats how we get our byler confirmation, madwheeler bonding like never before, mike focus, and the key to defeat vecna

at least in my head

i know this was messy and all over the place but it was very fun to explain and drop all my thoughts ive been vomiting on the gc for months now

let me know what you think, what you would add, if theres anything you think will support this theory?

its all just a theory, for fun! pls keep that in mind

thank you if you’ve read this far🫶

#mind walkie-talkie gate #stranger things theory #st5 #st5 theory #st5 headcanon #stranger things 5 #stranger things #will byers #mike wheeler #max mayfield #madwheeler #will and the mind flayer #byler #< target audience #taeiris word vomiting theories #mind walkie-talkie

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toobusybeingdelulu · 2 months

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So, we all know that Billy’s and Max’s deaths are almost identical parallels of each other.

The color blue, Lucas and Max’s reactions (her calling Billy’s name while he is being killed by the mind Flayer while Lucas is calling hers when seeing her limbs break)

This is obviously a nod to Max’s favorite song, running up that hill, specifically the line “if I only could, I would make a deal with god and I’d get him to swap our places.”, but I think these similarities could have an even greater significance plot-wise. Especially if we think about Max’s arc in season 5.

But how?

First of all, we know that before dying Billy manages to break free from the mindFlayer (and Vecna’s) control thanks to El, coming back to himself for the short amount of time that is used by him to make the decision to sacrifice himself and say “I’m sorry” to max as his last words. Many thought that him coming back to his senses in his last moments would mean that he was no longer connected to Vecna or The MindFlayer (therefore his mind dying alongside his body) but how could that be, when the same thing happened to Max?

In the first scene, before being saved by El (once again, another parallel between Max and Billy), Vecna is sucking her consciousness inside his mind, so that she becomes a part of him.

But then he is interrupted. By El. Who manages to interfere with his plans by driving him away from max. Sounds familiar?

She does the same thing with Billy, snatching him from vecna by reminding him of his mom.

Now, let’s come back to Max for a minute.

“Lucas I can’t feel or see anything… I’m scared… I’m so scared… I don’t wanna die, I’m not ready. I don’t wanna go please I don’t wanna go.”

Max is saying all of this AFTER Vecna managed to take her soul/consciousness. She is dying, just like Billy. And yet she is still aware of who Lucas is, just as Billy was aware of who Max was (once again, “I’m sorry”) right before exhaling his last breath.

Then, after this brief amount of time, Max dies. Then she is resurrected by El, but her mind is gone, as we saw. She is nowhere to be found.

And I think the same happened to Billy’s mind when he died. Vecna managed to take them both, and yet… there is a great difference between The Cali siblings and all his other victims. Which is this:

No other vecna victim was conscious right before dying. Patrick, Chrissy, Fred and Heather had never an Eleven who could help them break free from Vecna’s control.

That makes Billy and Max unfinished jobs. And that means that inside Vecna’s mind they will also have the most power, because they will not be totally controlled.

I could go on and on about how already Billy in season 4 proved this theory right, but I will limit myself to the tear and the fact that Max was not supposed to enter vecna’s sanctuary right after the Billy monologue.

“What are you doing here, Maxine?” This is what he says to her, like he is surprised to see her there.

Where am I going with all of this? Well, I just think that all these clues line up to the cali siblings beating Vecna’s ass from the inside. The only heartbreaking difference netween their fates at the end would be that Max will manage to return to her body. Billy would not, because he hasn’t gotten one. But a proper goodbye, after them teaming up against vecna, would give them both the closure they deserve.

Maybe, if all of this is true, they will get to try again.

For the last time.

In conclusion, thanks for taking the time to read this long crazy ass post, let me know if you want other theories in the future <3 I have so much fun making them, regardless of them being true in the end

#honestly I think it would be the only way to give both max and Billy peace #billy hargrove #stranger things #dacre montgomery #steve harrington #max and billy #Billy and max #max mayfield #stranger things 5 #Sadie sink

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lordystrange · 1 year

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Let’s break down good and bad arguments for Midleven

Let’s start with the bad ones

1. They are in love so they’re not gonna break up

There is literally no proof of them being in love. Loving each other platonically? Yes. But romantically no. (Also, even couples who are in love sometimes have to break up if they’re incompatible)

2. They won’t break up a straight couple for a gay one

Well, first time for everything.

3. Milkvan is the main ship! People who have been shipping them since season 1 would get so mad.

First, it’s not the main ship, at least not anymore. Lately Netflix has promoted Lumax and Jopper. Second, there are also bylers who have shipped their ship since season 1. Third, most of the GA would get mad if s5 continues forcefeeding us a ”main ship” that has no chemistry.

4. Mike is straight and in love with Eleven.

Couldn’t he also be bi and in love with El? Well, he could, but if he was confirmed bi, everyone would see who he’s actually in love with (Will).

5. El would be sad if Mike left her for Will

Mike isn’t leaving her for Will. They are gonna break up and then he’s gonna pursue a relationship with Will. Also, wouldn’t Will be sad if Mike just no-homoed him?

6. It would be misogynistic and ableist if they didn’t make Eleven end up with Mike.

It would be misogynistic and ableist to force her to stay in a relationship where she’s not happy in, just for her to become a normal american girl who gets married at 18 and makes babies for her husband without whom she couldn’t live.

7. They wouldn’t leave the main character end up single in the last season.

I know, that’s why Will will get to be with Mike. (Hahaha also yes they would, because they are showing us that it’s better to be single than stay in an unhappy relationship)

8. Mike is in love with El and him saying it 9 times in the monologue is the proof!

So we’re just supposed to ignore their fight about it earlier, where Mike called El ridiculous? And all the lies in the monologue? And how El didn’t actually like what she heard? And the fact that even if Mike was in love with El, it doesn’t mean that El is in love with Mike.

9. Mike and El were in good terms in the end of s4.

No they weren’t watch the show

10. There wouldn’t be enough time for byler to develop in s5 so milkman endgame.

All byler needs now is a few longing glances from Mike, the painting discussion, love confessions and kiss. If they were to make Milkvan a functioning couple, they would need at least 3 more seasons.

And now, for the actually good arguments for midleven:

Oh right there is none my bad.

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will80sbyers · 1 year

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I don't agree with the thought that if Mike is not queer he's a terrible person but I would think some scenes do not make ANY sense for the character and that he was written a bit out of character if he ended up being straight... he wouldn't be just an asshole that I wouldn't care if he died but I would be so fucking confused about everything they decided to make him do this season...???? like, it would be all ambiguous on purpose to just queerbait with byler, if Mike was straight.

I think he is written since the start as a compassionate person full of love that is trying his best constantly while growing up and facing his own struggles as a character, I know he's not written to be homophobic and I don't think he was written to be a bad friend to Will in season 4

I am convinced the weird stuff in the story is because he has some feelings for Will already, even if he's not aware of the fact that they are romantic and he's trying to avoid thinking about it and he wants to keep as believing they are platonic when they are not... he does feel "the electricity" between them!!

like...

calling the Byers constantly to the point that Dustin was annoyed by him complaining about Will not picking up the phone but not saying ANYTHING to Will about how much he called him when Will said he should have called more

his jealousy over the painting and him thinking that it was for a girl and acting like he didn't want to hug Will when he saw him again at the airport

being angry at Will for not telling him what Eleven should have told him, because he was angry that Will didn't call him more and didn't tell him anything because he thought Will didn't care about talking to him or being his bestfriend anymore and was acting like an ass to him and El all day because of that before he knew that El was lying to him... to the point that Will not talking to him made him feel like Will was sabotaging the day with his girlfriend (lmao) meaning Mike Wheeler couldn't focus on being happy about being with his girlfriend if he thinks Will is not happy about something and hates him and they are not ok

him acting more distant and fake with Eleven this season like his feelings for her really DID change

"....It's a little WeIRd"

initially avoiding saying to Will exactly what the problem with Eleven was and why they fought and what was the thing he couldn't say to her...

Mike looking at Will in the desert on his own and panicking when he sees that Will was already looking at him

Mike looking like he was thinking about kissing Will in the van and like he was mesmerised by the beautiful speech Will made and how much happiness and security Will just gifted to him with that

Mike looking at Will and his smile fading when he looks back at El in their reunion like he's feeling conflicted when he remembers what he feels for Will too...

Mike looking confused about his feelings for El, trying to say the I love you to her in the Pizza place but not being sure at all that he even wants to do that... and the fact that we can see the uncertainty in his expression and from his wording, we can see he was not feeling it.

bonus:

ZERO MIELE SCENES WHERE THEY TALK AFTER A FREAKING LOVE MONOLOGUE?????? EL LOOKING AT HIM WEIRD IN THE CABIN????

I would be so fucking confused if he was straight... but I believe byler is endgame and Mikey right here is one of the queer ones too

#byler #will byers #mike wheeler #el hopper byers #anti mileven #bike wheeler don't disappoint me #my gifs #my gif

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ladyfromaspookyforest · 1 year

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Jancy vs M11

Stranger Things 4 and the Long Distance Relationship

Trying to learn the art of brevity. Bullet points, lez go. Jancy Mildew

Jonathan has a photo of him and Nancy on his dresser. El has a shrine to Mike. Note that Jonathan's photo is of both of them and El's photos are mostly just of Mike.

Jonathan is not being honest with Nancy about college. El is not being honest with Mike about high school. Both of these come in the form of letters: one withheld and one sent. One is a secret, one is a lie.

Jonathan: "No, because if I told her the truth, then she'd just throw her dreams out the window to come out here and be with me." Mike: "But what if after all this is over, she doesn't need me anymore?" Jonathan is worried Nancy will sacrifice her own happiness for him because she loves him. Mike is worried El is going to leave him behind. Opposite ends of the spectrum.

Jonathan: "Before you know it, we're just like my mom and dad. We're divorced, my kids hate me--" Mike: "Maybe I should have said something and if I'd said that thing, then maybe she'd want me there with her." Jonathan is stating that the consequence of conforming to what one party in the relationship thinks the other wants is a one-way ticket to the Joyce and Lonnie Show. Mike is talking about doing exactly that so he won't be alone.

Jonathan: openly discusses his specific lie to Nancy with Argyle. Mike: dances around what he didn't say to El while talking to Will.

Jonathan and Argyle discussing relationship problems: stoner comedy and farting. Mike and Will discussing relationship problems: [Tender, emotional music]

Jonathan: "[She's] incredibly ambitious and she's never done a single thing halfway in her life...That's why I love her." Nancy: "He's caring and compassionate. He's so protective over the people that he loves and he'll never back down from what's right...no matter the pressure, no matter the personal cost. That's why I love him." Mike: "I love you for exactly who you are. You're my superhero."

Jonathan: "Nancy, I'm sorry I wasn't here...Are we okay?" Will: "Does she talk to you at all?" Mike: "Not much. I mean, a little bit." Despite the fact that Jonathan's secret has still not been revealed, he makes sure he and Nancy are okay. Despite having supposedly given El what she wanted, Mike and El aren't really speaking.

Nancy: "Your application letter. Did it ever come?" Jonathan: "No, um, not yet." Jonathan's secret is still looming over them as they head into season 5, a conflict that will require later resolution. Mike's inability to tell El he loves her has been resolved. Will's lie to Mike about the painting, on the other hand, is still looming and waiting to come out (ha) in season 5. Dishonesty is a theme for both Jancy and Melvin, but one of them has been "resolved." Note that Jonathan's secret has evolved into a lie.

While I am biased, I'm trying not to lean TOO hard on my Byler brain here because that's not really the point of the post. It's about the parallels between Jancy and Mildred. So let's say Mike's telling the truth. His whole monologue was honest. The conflict between the two has STILL NOT BEEN RESOLVED. What is the reason for this? Even if we choose to interpret Mike not telling Eleven he loves her as his secret like Jonathan not telling Nancy about college is his, Jonathan is keeping this secret to protect Nancy while Mike is keeping his to protect himself. This still reveals the unhealthy mentality of Miller Light's relationship. Additionally, Mike's "secret" has come out, so there should be no conflict. Jonathan's hasn't yet, so conflict logically remains.

And if we choose to look at the speech as dishonest, this is Mike's act of shaping himself to his partner's desires. AKA his act of conformity that Jonathan spoke about earlier leading to them ending up just like his parents. Jonathan expressed that resentment would grow and we can already see that El is not satisfied with the outcome of this "confession."

Lastly, for the sake of fairness, I can't tell if there's a photo of Jonathan on here.

And there's no evidence of El in Mike's room. Mike and Nancy are the two characters in the love triangles and neither has immediately apparent evidence of their SO in their room.

EDIT: It has been brought to my attention that Nancy has a poster that used to be Jonathan's, but what I find a lot more interesting is the suggestion that the photos Nancy has on her walls and not on the corkboard are Jonathan's. That actually makes a lot of sense as we know he is a photographer and they look similar to some of the photos he has in his room. Additionally, I went back to season 1 to look at Nancy's bedroom prior to Jonathan and there are no photos like this present.

And while I had every intention of keeping this as focused on Mlvn/Jancy as I could and not Byler/Jancy, I simply cannot ignore the fact that Nancy and Mike have both posted Jonathan and Will's art on their walls. While the camera never focuses on these details like it does the photos of Jonathan and Nancy at the Byers house or the Mike Box in El's room, like Will's drawings on Mike's walls, the photos are background details that show how much the Wheelers' respective Byers has integrated into their lives. Moving on.

El spends the season getting to know herself. Nancy spends it getting to reknow Steve. This could hint at Mike and El breaking up for El to be on her own and Nancy and Jonathan breaking up to get Stancy back together.

However, I think there are two major indicators that this is not what will happen.

The scene when Nancy and Jonathan talked about why they love each other, providing genuine reasons.

A large part of S4 focused on the Mike/El relationship and concluded with a "resolution" of the supposed problem. A large part of S4 focused on the Nancy/Steve relationship, involving Steve laying out his desires for the future. In both situations, all cards are on the table (unless, you know, gay). There isn't a lot left to drive the dynamic in the following season (in a positive direction), while Jonathan's letter and Will's painting are still lies waiting to instigate conflict and subsequent resolution.

So once again, for the sake of fairness, Jonathan's lie blowing up in his face after their seemingly happy reunion could parallel El's lie blowing up in her face after Milkvan's seemingly happy reunion. However, timing really is key and Will's lie is still in play. It's really impossible to parallel Jancy and Marvin without also paralleling Byler. (I keep trying)

Anyway, that's that. Two lying long distance relationships on the verge of potential collapse. FTR I have no stakes in Jancy versus Stancy, I just THINK it will be Jancy. I am clearly biased towards Byler. That being said, even if Byler does not happen, Moldeven appears to be heading in the direction of break-up while Jancy seems recoverable, based primarily on the extent of the lies, the intent (once again, I have to tie Byler back in because Will and Jonathan both lied in an attempt to make Mike and Nancy happy while Mike and El lied to one another to protect themselves), and the timing.

LOL remember I said I was going to try to be brief this time?

#anti milkvan #jancy #byler #two bros chillin in the desert five feet apart 'cause they're not gay #my dumbass post

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deanismysavior · 2 years

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This really put the nail in the coffin for me:

The Mike monologue to El is NOT supposed to come across as romantic, at least, not in the sense that you would expect.

In Mike's monologue, he tells El "You can do anything! You can fly. You can move mountains. I believe that."

This is important, because this part of the monologue sounds a whole heck of a lot like the speech that Brenner gives El when she tries to leave to go save Max.

In this scene, Brenner says, "You came to me broken, and you've learned to walk again, but if you want to stop One, you'll need to do more than walk. You will need to do more than run. You will need to fly."

This is not the first time in the season that we see Mike getting paralleled with Brenner. In fact, this happens at the end of the S4E2 when Mike sees El hit Angela over the head with a rollerskate and says "What did you do?," the exact same thing Brenner said after finding El in the rainbow room surrounded by the other lab kids who were all killed.

Before we get deeper into the monologue itself, let's take a look at the note that Mike and El leave their relationship on before she leaves. We see their fight in her bedroom where El brings up that Mike never expresses love to her. El tells Mike that she doesn't belong anywhere, and that everyone looks at her "like a monster," and accuses Mike of seeing her this way too. Here he deflects the allegations and calls her "Eleven," not El. When he attempts to mend this with her, he uses the words "incredible," and "superhero" to describe El.

We've already talked about the implications that using these adjectives describes idolization rather than love, but what's more here is that he puts the same emphasis on her powers that Brenner does. By referring to her as Eleven, not El or Jane, he subliminally sends the message that he is thinking of her as an "other," and to her, this holds the connotation of an experiment since that's what the numbers signified in Brenner's lab.

It is made very evident here that we are supposed to align Mike with Dr. Brenner.

Before El leaves, in her last scene with Mike when she is being placed in the cop car, we see him say to her, "Eleven, Eleven, listen to me, okay? Eleven, will you please look at me? Everything's going to be fine. I'm going to fix this."

Not only does he repeatedly once again call her Eleven, instead of the affectionate nickname he gave her, but he specifically uses the word "fix," perfectly mirroring what Brenner says when he refers to El as "broken."

So when we then see language from the same conversation El has with Brenner come back in during Mike's love confession with the word "fly," the viewer is once again subliminally meant to associate Mike with Dr. Brenner.

What's so interesting about this confession scene is that it also heavily mirrors Mike's shared memory with Will in season 2 as he's trying to break through the Mind Flayer's possession of Will.

In this scene, we see Mike describing the first time he met Will. We see Finn give a shockingly visually similar performance to his monologue with El, but here we see Mike shedding tears, and the way in which Finn delivers these lines is not frantic or off-the-cuff, but instead the tone is quiet and the strength of the speech lies solely in the emotion behind his words. This scene comes across as much more tender and genuine, and stands in stark contrast tonally to the way we see Mike speak to El.

Here, Mike says that he "felt so alone" during that first day of kindergarten, but then he "saw [Will] on the swings, and [he was] alone too," establishing a kinship and connection with Will immediately. Mike continues by saying, "I just walked up to you, and I asked. I asked if you wanted to be my friend. And you said yes. You said yes. It was the best thing I've ever done."

In this monologue, we not only see that similar language is used in the Mike love confession scene in which he tells El his "life started" when he found her in the woods, but we get this interesting contrast in which Mike's words are actually able to break through to Will here, whereas when he is confessing to El, Vecna's grip tightens until she looks over at Max.

By drawing this parallel, it simultaneously codes this monologue from season 2 in a romantic light, since we are meant now to associate the scene with the "romantic" love confession in season 4, but it also discredits the genuineness of Mike's season 4 monologue as we see the stark contrast in Finn's performance. In both scenes, the stakes were high and people he cared about were in danger, so why does one read with such deep emotion while the other comes off as clichéd and inconsistent with past events?

When we combine the messages of these two parallels in Mike's monologue we are left with a rather confusing and disturbing message: that Mike and El's relationship is entagled with other parties, and here's why it's important to consider these points together:

Subliminally, El is associating Mike's words during this monologue with the way Dr. Brenner makes her feel, while Mike subliminally associates his words in contrast to the way he feels about Will.

Therefore, for El, what's getting in the way of her relationship with Mike is that he seems to see her in a similar way to how Dr. Brenner does, zeroing in on her powers, her usefulness, and her otherness.

But for Mike, what's getting in the way of his relationship with El is repression and the complicated feelings he has for Will. I've tried, for arguments sake, to find a non-romantic reasoning for this parallel, but I really don't think there is one.

If we're able to take these parallels and draw these conclusions, then the exchange that occurred within the Mileven monologue is not the romantic triumph that I think a lot of casual viewers saw it as. We are meant to feel the wrongness in this scene.

#byler #mike wheeler #will byers #el hopper #stranger things #st #stranger things 4 #st4 #stranger things analysis #mikes monologue #mike wheeler i know what you are

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lovethelittlerthings · 21 days

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found heaven x saltburn

i just listened to conan gray new album and i cannot get over the fact that this album is very much a saltburn-coded album. i am very much in my everything is saltburn era and this is no exception.

TRACK ONE: Found Heaven

this was what inspired me to make this blog post because just read that. it has oliver written all over it. from the blasphemy and the hunger to the rejection. this song is oliver.

as i said. oliver.

TRACK TWO: Never Ending Song

i imagine this as oliver reading a magazine and seeing a model that reminds him of felix and calling felix's old phone and saying this in his voicemails. i imagine everytime ollie misses felix, he sends him a voicemail from his old brick phone that still is in good condition even as decades past.

ah, everything reminds oliver of felix like how everything reminds me of saltburn.

just oliver clinging on his memories of felix.

TRACK SIX: The Final Fight

maze scene. this oliver and felix in the maze scene.

future oliver here. going to new york, growing and coming back to saltburn only to realize that felix never changed because he dead. he's broken because of him.

back to the mindset of oliver in the maze scene begging felix to listen to him, to make his wrongs right. getting that final fight but alas.

TRACK SEVEN: Miss You

yes once again maze scene cattonquick is at play.

this is maze felix. then this is future oliver.

TRACK EIGHT: Bourgeoisies

ollie yearning for that high class life when hanging out with felix. how disgustingly rich he is.

this is my monologue ollie. this what ollie wants as to perceived him a social climber and not a love-struck card who dealt his cards wrong.

TRACK TEN: Eye Of The Night

this is felix everytime ollie watches him. i genuinely think felix knows ollie' watching him and revels in his attention.

this future ollie feeling as though felix's ghost is haunting him.

TRACK ELEVEN: Boys & Girls

and then to end the post with one of my favourite songs from this album. not only does it sound like it could be in the saltburn film but it is so ollie describing felix's power and how it affects him and the people surrounding felix.

Now that is all for this very long blog post rambling about saltburn. conan ray is a very important artist to me and i am so glad that two of my obsessions are colliding in this manner though it's just my delusion. you guys should listen to found haven and keep obsessing over saltburn like me hehe. im sure there are more things that i didn't touch on about saltburn and there lyrics on other tracks that reminds me of them but i didn't include because of the photo limit as well as that the whole song doesn't descrive them unlike these ones.

#saltburn #oliver quick #felix catton #cattonquick #barry keoghan #jacob elordi #lyric parallels #lyrics #Spotify #conan gray #found heaven

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emblazons · 1 year

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Saw this post and article (not for the first time, but for the first time related to Stranger Things) and started thinking.

Thinking about how M*leven's relationship (at least at the start) is the full embodiment of the "Born Sexy Yesterday" trope in the way that even its existence is a play on the relational and sexual insecurity of nerdy and insecure young men.

Thinking about the way Mike kissing El when she has no idea what romance means is literally this trope watered down because they're younger...and you can't deny its rooted in insecurity either, because even the pitch of the show says that Mike has a lot of insecurities he thinks will be resolved by the presence of a girl.

Thinking about how a lot of people who struggle with social relationships and romantic endeavors for the same reason have projected the same fantasy of "Born Sexy Yesterday" onto Mike and Eleven's romance...even though The Duffers have repeatedly made clear their plan is to subvert the trope by giving El autonomy and independence...and showing us that they don't view women as a means to cure insecurity in men...even in science fiction.

Thinking about how the reason people don't want Mike to be queer or M*leven to break up is because Mike is the one who represents the "gets the girl in spite of his rampant lack of desirability" in science fiction, and Mike not getting the girl means that a show they've projected onto is throwing a mirror in their face and saying "this wasn't right when he did it, and its not right when you do."

Thinking about how the more Eleven gains autonomy--the more she hangs out with Max (which also leads to Mike feeling insecure)--the more their relationship crumbles, because El no longer needs the insecure boy to lead her, or to give her insight into the world....which is core to this relationship trope's survival.

Thinking about the way the only thing Mike says about El is that she's his "superhero," because he never learned to view her as a whole and autonomous person--the exact same way this trope does to its female love interests. About how we know this for a fact, because Mike coming to terms with the fact that the naive girl he tried to use to fill his insecurities no longer exists or needs him is what the entirety of his first digression monologue to Will is based on in the van...including the line that made this explicit, though its been moved to the subtext again in the show itself.

Thinking about media illiterate people who think the "trope subversion" in Stranger Things is El being the one with powers isn't a subversion at all, because science fiction has been doing that shit for half a century by making women entirely out of men's leagues their partners by making them naive to the world...which is why people expected the same from Mike and Eleven after Season 1.

Thinking about why people pointing out that S4 "showing the cards" meant of Mike and El's crumbling relationship, El's full fledged autonomy combined with her now losing (removing the superhero effect even more effectively than her losing her powers did) on top of Mike having feelings for another guy is so angering for people--

--because the characters they thought were filling their toxic trope fantasies were actually turning into something else: a girl with a full independent identity and autonomy...and a boy who learned how to view his partner as an equal...once he realized he was actually in love with another boy.

The only way to deny this is to either be entirely unaware its happening or deny the subtext of this trope being turned upside its head...which is also why they probably hate people talking about subtext, right before screaming "its not that deep."

But I mean. You didn't hear it from me. ☕️

#anti mlvn #I could write a longer post and maybe I will but. this is my start lmao #el hopper #mike wheeler #st analysis #st commentary #stranger things #the me tag #my st commentary

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bylerspookie · 10 months

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hey guys <3

I'm sorry I haven't posted to analysis of episode 2 yet, I will soon, I'm just very busy right now, but I do have all the notes down!!

anyway, I just wanted to come on her and say that Mike's monologue to El was almost complete bullshit, lmao, and I'm pretty sure most of us know this, but when we get to that analysis, which I'm actually so excited for, I'll share my thoughts.

like, how the entire monologue is based off of, and, stolen, 'plagiarized', you could say, and we know Mike LOVES to plagiarize things!!

like, for example, the "love at first sight" trope!! complete bull!! Mike literally says in season 2, when Lucas and Dustin are obsessing over Max, "Awesome? You haven't even spoken a word to her." And when Max was trying to befriend him and asked why he hated her, he says, "I don't hate you, how could I hate you, I don't even know you." So we know Mike's a firm believer in the fact that you don't, and shouldn't have an opinion about someone if you don't know them, he's completely lying in the monologe about him loving her as soon as he met her, because before he knew that she could help them find Will, Mike was literally planning to, in his words, "send her back to Pennhurst or wherever she came from"

Also, the "meeting for the first time" thing is copied from his monologue to Will in s2!! Except, in season 2, he doesn't say "and in that moment, I knew that we were friends", or something, instead, he just tells the story of how he met Will, and how that was the best thing he had ever done.

And again, Mike says in his monologue, "I feel like my life started that day", completely false, in fact, Mike was a wreck that day, worried about Will.

He even uses Will's talk to him in the van, he said he was scared of losing El (reference to Dawson's creek, Mike Wheeler I know what you are), and he even reuses Eddie's line about meeting Dustin lmfao, about the t-shirt "I knew it the moment I saw you, you were wearing that weird Ai T-Shirt" HELLO LIKE? "and in that moment I knew, I knew that I loved you" "you were wearing that yellow Benny's burgers T- shirt". And even the fact that Mike saw Argyle and Eden "fall in love", Mike looked digusted, but then went with this story in the monologue, I wonder where he got the idea from hmm.

And I think El knows, when Mike was lying to her about his grandma in s3, El knew, and she slammed her door, in s4, when Mike says "I love you", the vines around her start to tighten, and the lights flicker in a way that suggests she's angry, not happy. She looks pained, because even Brenner, her abuser, said that he loves El just a few hours beforehand. El doesn't talk to Mike after his monologue either, and has the same reaction to Mike lying in s3, she goes into the room, and slams the door, but leaves it 3 inches open.

Also, everytime Mike does something questionable, the attention is moved to something else, like, when Mike and Will were chatting in Will's room, Jonathan interrupts, or when Mike has a gay scene, we see Will having a gay scene instead, like, to distract us from Mike. And, the "fruit" on pizza scene, LMFAOOO, anyways, but it's also a reference to dawsons creek, it's like Mike wants to tell El something, he says "I need to tell you something", and we think it might be "I love you", but they get interrupted and then Eleven says things like "I miss you" and shit and he looks like he was going to say what he wanted to say, but decided against it. Also, we know what he was going to say wasn't "I love you", even though it might've seemed like it, because he literally couldn't say I love you to El when she was quite literally dying without Will having to push him to do so. And the reference of Dawson's creek that this is about is when Jack tells Joey that he's gay, I'm pretty sure, and his words are "I'm afraid of losing you" (HELLO????) and "I care about you" ("I care for you, so much" OH MY GOD???) and then afterwards, they hold hands JUST like El and Mike do when they eat Pizza.

Also, at this point, Byler absolutely 100% HAS to be canon, if it wasn't, the Duffers would've said something for sure, because they know how much hate they would get for queerbaiting, but instead, the cast themselves continue to talk about Byler. And if anything, the Duffers don't queerbait, they straightbait, like what the did with Robin and Steve...and like they're doing with Mike and Eleven.

And ik this was kinda all over the place, but in conclusion, Byler is endgame, and this was only based off of ONE of many scenes, Mike's monologue, which is supposed to be a Mileven scene, but, isn't. (Call me delusional idc)

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thranduel · 2 years

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the fact that mike already had a big monologue/love confession to el this season to resolve their fight in ep 3 and she STILL failed to defeat vecna means they’re not gonna do it again. there is no way mike is going to have another forced, repetitive monologue to “give el strength” or “prove he loves her” especially after people’s negative reactions to the first monologue and how forced and fake it felt. so what else is there to do with mike and eleven? every season it’s always the same thing: lie to each other, no heart-to-heart conversations or proper communication, can’t be themselves around each other, never on the same page, argue, break up, get separated, reunite, act all lovey dovey, become distant AGAIN. like seriously what else is there to do with them? do people really expect them to be glued together until the end? they haven’t even had proper character development or growth while being in a relationship and it’s not healthy or fair to either of them.

and what happens with will? his story is far from over and he’s going to be the main focus. mike doesn’t even know the entire car monologue was will confessing his OWN feelings for him and he doesn’t know the painting was from will either. he thinks it was eleven. that’s literally the reason why he said his monologue to her in the first place! because of will!! so when mike finds out i think it’ll have a very big impact and make him question everything. he’ll think about how he only said the monologue because of will and then he’ll actually process that his best friend loves him and i seriously think it’ll change everything. otherwise, what’s the point? if the plan was to have mike reject will, they would’ve done it and gotten it over with. it shouldn’t be dragged out for this long and left open just to mike can break his heart and then will suffers AGAIN. that would be disgusting and they would get so much backlash. if they didn’t want mike and will to end up together, they shouldn’t have even made will like mike in the first place. all of this is unnecessary unless it’s leading up to byler

#byler #byler analysis

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samsvenn · 2 years

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I'M IN LOVE WITH THE DIABOYS DIARIES HEADCANONS <3 could you continue with the others? 🥺💗

𝐒𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢 𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐬 𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 [𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐 ]

tw! graphic mentions of violence and gore sakamaki bros done!

𝐑𝐞𝐢𝐣𝐢

He’s halfway through the diary and it hasn’t even been two months since he’s had it. They all range in how descriptive his days were from eleven pages of how Ayato wrecked their monthly allowance to one short page of how he’s planning to do something extremely sinister to Teddy if Kanato keeps stealing his wallet for candy.

Reiji mostly vents in his diary, but it’s so lifeless that you’d think he’s just internally monologuing for the sake of internal monologuing.

There are pages where he doesn’t. Some pages call back to the time he found an under-the-table seller for a Victorian tea set he’s had his eyes on since autumn. Some pages have these special, translucent note tabs and each color represents a section.

Muted green sticky note tabs for new-found tea recipes, velvet red note tabs indicate a page that should be steered away from (these pages are just pages Reiji wishes he never wrote and doesn’t want to be reminded of the contents within), and blue tabs for any interesting experiences he’s had in the year.

The red tabs are cut shorter so that they won’t be so obvious at first glance unless the glance was intentional.

Reiji likes to write with a fountain pen; a writing tool that is loved because of its smoothness, the way it glides on paper, and fluid flow of ink. For colors, dark blue is his go-to. Writing with warm colors makes his eyes strain and anything too saturated is immediately a no.

For the fountain pen, Reiji uses the Namiki Falcon produced by Pilot with a medium 0.56 mm nib. The brand itself isn’t a luxury brand like Montblanc, but the Namiki Falcon is nothing short of everything a pen nerd gushes over; beautiful, sleek, crisp writing sounds and neat pen lines, what more could you want?

And knowing Reiji, the amount this man writes not only for his diary but for documents, teacher reports, official doctorates, and more is a boatload to work through if the pen he has isn’t built to cushion said workload.

His diary’s pretty simple. It’s just a regular, black faux leather hardback. He hides it in a hidden compartment pre-built into his study desk. At first, that compartment was a hidden money stash in the event that something horrible ever happened to his savings. But now, it’s not as dusty as it used to be.

𝐀𝐲𝐚𝐭𝐨

His diary’s been roughed up. Tears, scratches, the binding near collapse, even Subaru’s diary is in better condition than Ayato’s.

For a diary near death, the irony is that Ayato holds it dear. It’s where his vulnerabilities are written down so he can’t afford to lose it no matter what. He doesn’t know if he should feel relieved that the diary’s near its limits. His secrets die along with it, but it’s also been an outlet for him.

So, what does he do about it? Nothing. If the diary dies, so be it. If it doesn’t, then good for him.

Ayato usually jots down the name of the teachers who gave him detention that week or rumored upcoming takoyaki places in the shopping district. Unless it’s really something important, he’ll never jot down anything that reveals his emotional state.

That all changed once he started doing something… interesting. The true main reason he keeps his diary to himself is that in the diary, he started to talk to himself in third person, then answer it in first person.

Questions people would never ask him are turned into conversation topics for him to daydream and ask himself about. People would call this a self-soothing mechanism, but Ayato calls it self-hype; being the hype man that’s sorely missing in his life.

“Hey! You don’t need them. In fact, you’re better off by yourself. If they won’t appreciate you, scrap ‘em!”

“...Damn right. I’m the best person around and this is how they treat me?! Un-fucking-believable.”

Ayato uses BIC pens. He doesn’t care what he uses to write as long as they do. They’re inexpensive, affordable, come in a pack of 10, and are readily accessible. Plus unlike fancy pens, they’re much more enjoyable to chew on.

Unlike Laito and Kanato, Ayato doesn't write about his past victims nor does have memorabilia from them. His diary is for him and him only. He likes to write about his muscle gain and how basketball tournaments are turning out. He loves to read back past entries because it motivates him to do more and gives him insight into what he needs to do to keep himself entertained.

He'll never tell anyone, but he laughs at how stupid he is sometimes. Like the time he forgot to throw a toothpick that he used for picking up takoyaki so that week, his backpack absolutely REEKED of the smell. He's the only one allowed to do this, of course.

His diary is a jumbled mess. Loose pages about to surrender to gravity, water crinkles making the cheap ink fade, stains of what seems to be a protein shake hopefully, and nonsensical scribbling bleeding through the paper.

He never wrote his name on the front; for fear that it’ll give away who the owner of his diary is. Good thing that he only writes entries inside his room and nowhere else. His hiding spot is behind the iron maiden. He knows how to move it without the iron maiden’s corners screeching and leaving marks on the floor.

Ayato’s diary is a simple red school notebook. It’s easier to throw away and it’s not like anyone pays attention to notebooks nowadays.

𝐋𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨

The things he writes in there are extremely worrisome; so many topics that’d give a Pastor cardiac arrest. It took a long while for Laito to get comfortable with the idea of writing his thoughts down and it took even longer to decipher the small fragments of his trauma into something legible.

Other than that, Laito uses his diary as a notepad of some kind. Writing down movies he needs to watch, incorrect lyrics he’ll search up later and a handful of his poems make their way into the paper.

Like his Uncle Richter, Laito prefers to use literature as a medium to express. Because of this, he makes sure that his diary is well-hidden. Out of all the Sakamaki brothers, Laito’s hell-bent on making sure that no one is able to get a hold of his diary. If they do, it’ll raise questions not only about Laito but the vulnerable person underneath and he’d rather die than let that get out.

His diary’s hiding place is underneath the Church grounds. It’s buried in an aluminum box that’s next to his third victim after Hilde came along. This box is located in the Church’s abandoned cemetery where the first roster of Sacrificial brides are buried.

No gravestones, not even a coffin for the poor women, just patches of uneven dirt to remind the Church where their loyalties with Karlheinz stand. The same place where his facade was birthed is also the same place where everything in that book contradicts what that facade stands for.

Since the diary’s hiding place is so convoluted, whenever he writes in the thing, it's a monthly ordeal. Sometimes if things get too rough, it’ll be weekly. This only happens if he’s writing about his feelings though. For his daily ventures, that is in another diary.

This man has two diaries: one for the nasty crises and the other for things that aren’t quite as deep. There is no way to convince Laito that it’s possible to write all the things he needs in one diary. If he can’t separate his vulnerable self from his daily living, it’ll only admit that he’s not as invulnerable as he made himself out to be.

His daily diary, it’s filled to the brim with information about his current prey. Living situations, financial status, how perceptive they are, and all the things he needs to manipulate his prey are all there. In that diary, there are extremely explicit photos of his previous victims; a keepsake to reminisce about. They’re all quite sexual, but one thing Laito adds to the polaroids are blotches of their blood on the back. It’s truly a wonder how Laito manages to be so emotionally erratic while also being emotionally apathetic.

These polaroids are shown in an order of events: the first polaroid depicting Laito and the victim 'happy', the second polaroid showing Laito and the victim in intimate poses that are either shot from Laito's P.O.V or in the corner of a room, before ending with the third polaroid generally displaying the victim dismembered. These are the general order in which these polaroids are framed.

The second and third polaroids are the ones that are varied the most. The victims are never in the same position and Laito rarely uses the same angle twice.

The third polaroid is by far the most disgusting one as the camera shows how many times Laito has physically cracked open the poor brides. One polaroid shows a poor girl's ribs tearing out of her lower chest, another polaroid has the eyes of a bride nailed to a tall, imposing, wooden crucifix with a note captioned at the bottom: "Dead eyes won't lie, dead eyes won't stray away, dead eyes won't deceive."

He uses a fine-tip gel pen and the one he mainly uses is the Hi-Tec-C. He enjoys writing with them and they encourage him to write more than he should. Laito likes to write in black or green. They’re pretty to look at and with his pen and handwriting, he’s in love with how his pages look - despite their horrific contents.

His daily diary’s indented and has beautiful gold accents. It has a black hardcover and the design on it is pretty minimal. As much as he wanted the diary to dazzle, too much attention is never good with such an item.

His other diary (the crisis diary) has a lock on it. The front and back are untouched and there’s no easy way to say it but it simply looks lifeless. Perhaps the diary looking so forgettable is the greatest strength it bears. No one would expect much from an unassuming decor in his room, right?

𝐊𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐨

Loves to write his thoughts down, but there’s a problem. His mind’s so jumbled with an overabundance of thoughts lingering that in the middle of writing one thought down, he has already abandoned it for a new one.

Kanato’s diary has incomplete entries and cryptic drawings that provide a small peephole into what goes on inside his head. Drool, dried blood splotches and his own smudged fingerprints carry themselves through the pages.

His guilty pleasure is imagining what it would’ve been like to be loved unconditionally and transcribing the feeling down in his diary. When he’s not trapped in his senseless daze, the feeling of being loved is both an escape and a pain that provides a gateway to his longing daydreams.

Kanato uses crayons or a pencil. The sensory feeling of pigmented wax melting into the groves of the paper and crumbling under the pressure reminds him of the first time he made his first collection of wax dolls. Such an innocent writing tool brings back grotesque, vivid memories of when he used crayons to stuff mouths shut when they wouldn’t stop screaming.

Stuffing their throats full until red tears on the neck’s skin emerged. One crayon, then another, then another, then another, and just like a bloated balloon, pop!

Writing with pencils provides this soothing sound that Kanato absolutely adores. He uses a 2B pencil to write with. It’s not as hard as an HB pencil and the glide is creamier. Yet even with the lead’s softness, it has a resemblance to the sound the HB pencil produces.

He doesn’t write page to page. Most of his writings aren’t connected. It’s all one big puzzle to piece together and unless you’re Kanato, they honestly don’t make sense. Words scattered, sentences repeated, seeing the same drawing from the fourth page re-drawn on the twenty-first page, contradictory statements, it all just perfectly encapsulates Kanato as a person; disorienting, yet you can’t pry your eyes off him.

There are pages where Kanato just refuses to finish what he was writing at that moment. If he can’t be bothered, then he won’t. But on days his hands don’t tremble at the first memory of his past breakdowns, the page drowns in wax and lead.

He likes to rip the pages out and turn them into paper dolls for Teddy.

Kanato doesn’t keep track of the dates which leads to his diary becoming a book in which he channels all his anger and cries in. Nail marks claw at the pastel purple cover and the burnt smell of ashes somehow haunts this diary. Overall, his diary is just a mess. Physically on the outside? No, if something’s gonna represent Kanato, it has to look perfect. But the inside? The horrors one book contains are astonishing.

The diary cover is very cutesy. It’s carefully littered with adorable bear stickers, tiny dessert stickers, and small pops of color that were sketched with crayons. He's the only one out of the Sakamaki brothers where you can tell his diary is his.

#diabolik lovers #diabolik lovers fandom #diahell #dl #rejet #reiji sakamaki #ayato sakamaki #laito sakamaki #kanato sakamaki #headcanons #diabolik lovers headcanons #sakamaki brothers

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you-usuratonkachi · 2 years

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about El's character arc and Mike's monologue

so i went back to rewatch the parts of the show that had Mike and El and El and Brenner, because I had noticed parallels between Mike and Brenner, and I wanted to single those scenes out to make sense of them. I might have gotten what they were trying to do with that...? Maybe. I'm not sure myself because the whole thing is kinda convulted, but hear me out.

The whole issue with Eleven this season is a fundamental insecurity: she does not feel like she's worth it without her powers. She doesn't know how to live as Jane. Not to mention she is having flashbacks/dreams about something she might have done in the past that she forgot.

So before Mike comes to California she's already feeling vulnerable.

She lies to Mike in her letters because she feels like she lost the only interesting part of herself (the part that she feels Mike likes her for) and she tries to make up for it by telling him that everything is fine and dandy and she has lots of fun and she's popular and everything she feels like he might like in a girl (who does not have powers).

When she strikes Angela, she triggers her own trauma.

It's her highest insecurity moment.

She's scared that she might have done something far worse than stricking Angela. Mike is already freaking out over a "small" cut, how would he react if he knew she had murdered children at Hawkins lab instead?

She was hanging onto the hope that none of it was true, that it was just some kind of nightmare, but seeing Mike take it so badly fueled her insecurities: she feels like a monster.

He says he "cares" for her, not love. Not like last season. Because she has no powers anymore? Because now she just strikes bullies in their faces? Because she is not able to make them pee their pants anymore? She's not cool anymore, she's just scary.

So when he says "you're a superhero" she does not believe him. Because she doesn't believe in herself either.

Was the issue truly stemming from Mike?

I think all considered he had a fair reaction. Kinda insensitive towards her feelings but fair. No matter how shitty Angela was, what El did was not cool either. So I know it's not a popular opinion and we all think Angela deserved it, but Mike has quite an adult reaction to it. Insensitive towards El's feelings, but fair. He basically calls her out for her bad behavior at the dinner table (albeit a bit passively aggressively... 😅).

It's not that Mike was scared of her, he was displeased with her behavior (plus the fact that she lied to him the whole time).

What she thinks she saw in him, it's what she saw in herself. She's projecting her insecurities.

(Now, while this is true, it doesn't change the fact that Mike couldn't say ILY when she needed it the most. Would it have solved the problem? Probably not, but perhaps she would have opened up to him about how she truly felt. But he couldn't say it anyway).

Later in the show, she starts training with Brenner and she has a whole conversation about Monsters and Superheros.

He says that people cannot be so easily defined and just by accepting the bad and the good we can become whole. To which she answers "what if I don't want to become whole?"

She does not want to accept the bad in herself, because she wants to be able to stay a superhero.

Later she learns that it wasn't her that killed the other kids in the lab and she realizes that the only reason why she opened the gate at all was because Brenner made her search for One. It wasn't her, it was him. So she rebels against him. Asks him if he even cared about the children.

He says he loved all of them. That he tried to help and understand Harry because...

So Brenner manipulated and abused her to get One back. So she would somehow open the gate. It was not her. It was him. He's the monster.

With this and by leaving Brenner behind, she finally feels like, after all, she might still be that superhero she wanted to be.

So yeah, rethinking the whole situation with El and Benner, I do feel like what Mike told her in the monologue was actually what she wanted to hear.

Because when she argues that she wants to go save her friends, Brenner tells her:

"you came to me broken, but you've learned how to walk again. but if you want to defeat one, you'll have to do more than walk. more than run. you will need to fly"

He's doubting that she can do that.

On the other hand, when Mike calls out to her as she fights Vecna, he says:

"you can fly, you can move mountains."

which is in direct contrast with what Brenner told her. So Brenner didn't believe she could do it. Mike did.

he ends it with "you're my superhero" which is what she wanted to be.

So, in truth, the monologue wasn't THAT bad. There is some sort of continuity with the storyline. While Mike did not evolve at all and told her exactly what he told her the first time (minus the ILY), El did change.

In that moment, coincidentally, it might have been exactly what she wanted to hear.

Except she loses. Max isn't saved (or I guess partially) nor Vecna truly defeated.

Brenner was right. She wasn't ready.

In the last ep, after the time skip, Will asks Mike if she talked to him at all. Mike says no, then corrects himself and says "a little" and right after that Mike and Will sit down and Mike tells him that she told him that Brenner was right, that she hadn't been ready.

So the parallels between Brenner and Mike are basically about one person who didn't believe in her and one person who did. Except the person who didn't believe turned out to be the one in the right.

So right now it doesn't really matter whether Mike loves her or not, the same way it did not matter whether Brenner loved them or not. At the end of the day, Brenner failed them all (which is why she does not acknowledge him as he dies). At the end of the day, whether she is Mike's superhero or not, she failed Max.

"There's more to life than stupid boys" because after all this wasn't about Mike. It was never about Mike. It was her trauma, her insecurities, her feelings projected onto Mike.

This said, while Mike's monologue perhaps had some kind of sense after all, it also failed in so many ways.

1. Yes El was projecting mostly, but the fact that Mike cannot name a single quality of hers that isn't her powers is also very true (bad writing? I guess even the writers forget that she's an actual person and not just their magic caster) so it's not surprising that between Brenner and Mike she doesn't feel like she has any worth without her powers

2. He still couldn't say ILY when she needed it the most and his excuse for it still sucked balls. Truly. Especially because he was never shown to be angsty about losing her for shit. He (the writers?) just pulled that out of his (their?) ass. Bad writing once again? Possible.

3. Mike quoted Will's confession and basically responded to it, thinking that was what she wanted to hear.

Everything else I can shrugg of as partial bad writing, but the parallel about "needing" after Will reminds Mike that he's the heart and therefore about his whole confession and therefore about the fact that El will always need him is not random. It was intentional. The whole thing hurting Will was intentional. They made it a point to show him throughout the monologue because his feelings are important for the plot, I assume.

So yes, I do believe that the monologue could say almost whatever because it wasn't supposed to work. The point of it all, it's that it failed. It's that by the time everything is done and is over, El realizes that it wasn't Mike, it was her all along. It's not Mike that has to believe in her. It's herself.

She has to find herself, accept herself as a whole, with or without powers. Believe that she's the superhero herself.

She doesn't need to hear that from Mike.

She does not need him.

This is where her arc is truly going. Her entire plotline it's about learning that she's sufficient. That she does not need to be validated or pushed by anyone else.

She did not need papa to love her. And she does not NEED Mike to love her either. She needs to love HERSELF.

This is what she's ultimately learning in this last part of the story.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

What she's learning and what Mike wants right now go in opposite directions (he wants her to need him). She's working on herself but he's suck in whatever his issue is. Either inferiority complex or internalized homophobia or general insecurities or all of the above.

What does this say about M*leven and where they are ending up? I'm not sure. It all depends on how Mike develops next season, truly. Will he be able to develop with her or will she ultimately decide that she's better being on her own as she finds herself?

Plus let's not forget that while everything might feel linear and orderly and very sensible written down like this, I have taken out one important piece from the picture, so that I could single out her journey, because that piece is not part of her journey, but is very much part of Mike's. And visually? It's been part of M*leven's journey throughout the season: Will.

After all, Brenner was still El's catalyst for her character development, while Mike was kind of collateral demage.

I think ultimately, Mike's catalyst will be Will (and viceversa). Because it kinda... always has been.

The writers made it a point to hammer Will in our heads throughout the season. Even if El's journey makes sense and so does M*leven, the visuals kept reminding us of Will over and over.

The monologue quoted Will's confession and this will have repercussions.

Lies were told and sooner or later the truth always finds ways to come out.

I think ultimately, Mike being sincere or not is still in question, because despite the whole narrative following through for his monologue, he just so happened to say what he thought she wanted to hear. And he thought so because 1. she said she wanted him to say ILY 2. she told him she was gonna be a superhero again 3. he believed what Will told him

The fact that he was only able to confess to her when she was on the verge of death? Still true. The fact that he thought that she wouldn't "like the truth"? Still true. The fact that he has behaving out of character with Will? Still true.

Even more than before, after analyzing the whole thing, I'm convinced that it's a mediocre confession because it was supposed to be.

Because ultimately what El learns from it, is that she thought she needed it, but she didn't.

#byler #eleven #jane hopper #i don't know what to tag exactly #so that I don't make people upset #but yeah #i think she's going through an amazing journey #I don't know whether Mike will be in it as a significant other at the end of it #it really all depends on Mike's character arc #will they finally show us HIS perspective next season?#there's so much that is up in the air with him #but if Will is gonna be center next season you bet everything you want that Mike is gonna be under the spotlight #'cause he's the heart #of course #his character arc is inherently connected with will's #I strongly believe that

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