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comicaurora · 5 months

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Nick Bostrom's "Fable of the Dragon Tyrant," which CGP Grey adapted into a video, left me feeling unsatisfied, and I got a certain unsettling vibe about the entire story.

I don't think it was the dragon's lack of agency, that just makes it an unusually traditional Western dragon.

You're a master at picking narratives apart to figure out why they don't satisfy. Do you have any insight, opinions, or cracktheories about why this story might be unsatisfying to some folks?

Probably because it's a very unsubtle metaphor casting the dragon as death, and death itself as a cruel, malevolent beast devouring and subjugating humanity for its own whims. This is very much intentional on the part of the writer. The paradigm of the story is that the dragon is huge, terrifying and incalculably cruel, and everyone lives their lives in the shadow of its terror or are just too deluded to recognize that it's COMING TO EAT THEM OH GOD

Intrinsic in this metaphorical structure is the idea that the dragon, aka death, is an artificial imposition on the natural order, and if we just got rid of the big ol' mean dragon, everybody would live forever and be fine. Accepting that the dragon exists is framed as a sign of desperation or even cowardice. This is an understandable read when facing a monster that only SEEMS timeless and inevitable (like LeGuin's thoughts comparing the current state of capitalism to the historical acceptance of the divine right of kings) but becomes bizarre when applied to something as legitimately factual as biological death. It's not even framed as unnatural death - the dragon specifically gets sent mostly old people. The metaphor is very explicitly about trying to frame death from old age as a big horrible dragon that everyone only thinks is unstoppable.

I get what they're going for here. The purpose of this story is to make the audience question if death is a true inevitability or if it can be fought, staved off, even defeated. But in the process, the story frames the systems of the world that have formed around death - doctors, pallative caregivers, will executors - as macabre gears in the machine dedicated to the genocidal cruelty of feeding the dragon.

In the dragon tyrant framing, these people only exist to make the rest of the world more okay with flinging themselves down the gullet of the dragon and to streamline the process by which everybody dies. By casting death as the enemy, everybody whose jobs are based on the compassionate act of comforting and aiding people suffering from loss become reframed as collaborators with the incalculably evil enemy, and everyone who's ever accepted their own death becomes a loser. This is a deeply cruel way to frame people who dedicate their lives to helping people through one of the hardest and most tragic aspects of life.

Damn, that's fucked up. Look at this eloquent idiot, explaining why we should be okay with letting a big dragon eat us because it's the natural order. Clearly he is wrong and it's not debasing at all to want to stay alive and not get eaten by a big dragon. This is a fallacy of false analogy: death is like being eaten by a big mean dragon. All his arguments look ridiculous when applied to getting eaten by a big mean dragon, therefore they must be ridiculous when applied to dying when your organs start failing because they've been running nonstop for nine decades and biological systems accumulate wear and tear like literally everything else in the universe.

Entropy increases; systems break down, from DNA to planetary orbits. Successfully shoot down the dragon and you'll end up outliving everything you thought was eternal, even the stars. The goal of immortality isn't really to personally witness the sun exploding, it's to have more good time. It's to make your twenties last into your sixties. It's to keep your back painless and your vision good for longer. We want to postpone the story's end as long as we can, and so we extrapolate "more time" into "I never want to die, I want to be young and healthy and hot forever" even though "forever" doesn't exist. To look to "forever" is to understand that your culture and language will drift, your home will eventually crumble out from under you, your shoreline will erode and change, your climate will transform, your tectonic plate will subduct or shatter, your moon's orbit will slow and tidally lock, and eventually your sun will start burning helium and cook your planet. You don't want "forever" to look like that, you want it to look like your twenties felt. But at that point you aren't fighting the Big Mean Dragon That Eats People, you're fighting the ocean and the biosphere and the earth and the stars, trying to hold them in place against entropy so your immortality can have an equally immortal world to enjoy it in. No, this argument doesn't want true immortality, it wants their twenties to last longer. But it can't admit that.

Back to the story. There's a condescending and spiteful tone in the narration. Death (being eaten by a big mean dragon) is OBVIOUSLY awful and we should all be fighting as hard as we can to make it stop happening. Even a child can see it.

The story even helpfully adds a lengthy moral explanation at the end, in case you didn't understand that the dragon was the inevitability of death and we should dedicate all our resources to figuring out how to make a big rocket and shoot it.

"Nobody should ever die" is generally understood to be a childish dream with extremely obvious and unpleasant consequences that would turn its realization into an unending and waking nightmare, and once out of the confines of easy metaphor, the story tries to act like that wasn't what it was just saying. But its more realistic proposed substitute, "It would be great if people could live longer and have more healthy, youthful years in them," is probably the world's most uncontroversial statement. This story frames it like a bold revelation that the world will attempt to beat down and crush out of a misguided acceptance that Big Mean Dragon comes for us all. It's a morality fable whose conclusion is "I hope science improves the length and quality of our lives, potentially even to the point where we never have to die at all," which has been the number one goal of huge swaths of science since the invention of agriculture. This is not a bold or controversial take. It's just being written as though we're all looking at the naked emperor and pretending he's wearing pants.

#asks #not aurora

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thebunniesgrim · 8 months

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I'm getting way too much enjoyment watching how some of Helluva Boss fandom is raving over the popular current theory that stolas is going to die in the series.

Because of the Oops episode and how the skull and cross bones in the smoke clock landed on Stolas and other stuff

I.e.

Having imp assasins in LooLoo Land

Stella

Striker

His lullaby saying that when he’s gone Octavia will be ok and that today could be his last (I could go on a whole tangent about that lullaby it's so good)

Western Energy (that's it)

I'm not saying I want stolas to die but am I also saying it would be funny to watch the fandom go up in flames about it?

Well call me Phineas and Ferb because

Yes

yes I am

You can stop reading here if you want. Under the cut I'm just rambling justifying why I think what I think. there are some jokes and lighthearted critiques, but you know... you have the option to look and give your own opinions :)

I mean I have my grievances with him like I've said in my other post (shameless plug Warning I'm very illiterate in case you haven't noticed) but like I don’t wish death upon him I still like Stolas believe it or not

lol.

In fact I hope stolas doesn’t die and mostly I don’t think stolas is going to die at all frankly. I highly dout the writers/viv/whoever is going to actually kill off stolas mostly because like any time stolas is in danger its so underminded like- ok LooLoo land is mostly a joke (good joke too I like the end where Stolas turns the imp guy into stone good pay off), Stella played for laughs beacues shes making the hit right in front stolas and it doesn’t get paid off till the next season which is fine the seasons are short, Western Energy he was fine like an episode later.

If home boy cant be hospitalized for more than one episode he isn't dying

Granted I will allow some leeway as we don’t know how much time has passed since Western Energy to Oops but it- I don’t think stab wounds and broken arms heal that fast regardless of that :/ if I'm being honest especially if it was a holy weapon just saying.

Even if he did die that brings up a lot of questions like what happens to demons when they die? Are all demons immortal and can only die due to physical damage? are Asmodeus and Beelzebub going to outlive Fizz and Vortex if imps and hellhounds/other demons aren't immortal. Were the 7 deathly sins ever babies like everyone else? If demons are immortal and can live forever and the Ars Goitias can only be killed by angelic weapons that are hard to get, I'm assuming, why do, they need to have children or heirs? Why even have children at all? If angelic weapons can kill demons do demonic weapons exist and can they kill angels or other holy beings?

All this and more on You Can't Answer These Questions at 8

Lol

anyways

but in all seriousness

Here’s the real question

If they did actually kill Stolas, will they bring him back?

Riddle me this batman

there's a very the very real outcome of them bringing stolas back through some magical demonic bs anyway so like it really won't matter. They're not going to have Stolas bite the dust permanently and if they are... respect honestly (the balls frankly).

People will cry, I'll laugh because I'm heartless, he’ll be like resurrected or something, and everyone will be happy or mad idk.

Like it's one thing for Millie to get hurt in the other episodes because there wasn’t a major plot point you know? (and she’s not important) There was no lingering scene on it with sad music. In when stolas got hurt it was this big thing and for him to just be like fine an episode later is like what? How are you going to have this big emotional climax with no emotional orgasm (sorry) afterwards. And like no I'm not letting this go what the heck? You had the whole fandom screeching about Blizto going to sloth just to do nothing with it and put a twist about Barbie and then also have stolas be perfectly fine and dandy the next episode afterwards. Are there no stakes in this show? Like I get that Helluva Boss wasn’t planned in the beginning but like come on... When Viv approves of the episodes does she look back at the other episodes? Is she even there? Is she ok? Is she and everyone else seeing a bigger picture that I'm not? Has she sat down and watched Helluva Boss from the very beginning and watched them from episode one to now? I mean really not just a once over to send it off to youtube I mean really took a good and hard look at the episodes? The way they mix episodic, and story is really messing with me I'm going to go back and watch all the episodes from the beginning just to make sure it’s not me.

I like how I said in my tangent about Hell fire (shameless plug part 2) I said I liked the new episode over all give or take some extremally small nitpicks yet here I am complaining :) guess I'm a liar

soo yeah, I really don’t think they're going kill off their golden child, their best boy, their little botanist boo, their dopamine deficient dandy, their booboo bear, their uwu baby boi, their uke wukey cinnamon roll, their twinky little baby owl, their Boo thang, their stary eyed savant, their sad beige gay, their smoopy woopy do, their snoogum-boogums, their skidamarink a dink a dink skidamarink a doo, their-

I'm done

I'm so sorry

#helluva boss #helluva boss stolas #helluva boss criticism #helluva boss critical

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 1 year

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Your posts about an older Bella who was in therapy and got over Edward made me think: do you think a mentally stable Bella would still want vampirism? Do you in generally think that someone who wants vampirism is mentally stable? Aro of course searched it out, but Aro is also truly an extraodinary person

I beleive anon's referring to this post.

Interesting question though. I think we'll do the latter first.

Do You Have to Be Mentally Unstable to Want Vampirism?

No.

It depends on what your priorities are.

The Twilight vampires are not the Buffy vampires. Yes, you subsist on a diet of bloodshed and murder and lose everything you have, but you do not lose your soul/your very self.

In the Buffy world, if you become a vampire, it's not you. It's a demon driving your body who has access to your memories and aspects of your personality, but it's not you. You, as a person, left the building ages ago.

This is why the only people we see in the series who want to become vampires are poorly informed (Lily/Anne and Spike if we count his very brief seduction and sudden turn into a vampire out of nowhere as being informed at all) or else dying of cancer and so terrified of death that they will lose their very selves so their husk of a body can go on.

In the Buffy world, you either have no idea what vampirism is or you're telling yourself it's not what it is, if you want to become a vampire.

In the Twilight world, that isn't the case.

From what we see of Bella, even with what Edward fears, she remains herself. Her priorities are still her priorities, in her case she can control herself, and she proceeds to get everything she ever wanted. It's not a demon driving Bella Swan's body around.

But, again, to choose to be a vampire depends on your priorities and how informed you truly are.

Taking out people who don't know what they're agreeing to or signing up for and putting in the caveat that they wouldn't be told "oh, you can be like this weird hippie coven and live off animals rather than people" we have someone who has to weigh the pros and cons of a few things.

They're going to have to eat a person a fortnight. They may live a life with no companionship, if they never join a coven and they never have the control to turn someone. If they do turn someone, they'll be tearing them from their lives and futures. They will lose their society. They will lose their employment, their education, their families, everything and everyone they had before. They will likely have to fight other vampires to secure territory and could very well be killed.

On the other hand, they'll be near invulnerable, beautiful, strong, fast. They'll never need to worry about shelter, money, bills of any kind ever again. If they find a companion, then that companion will be young, beautiful forever, never age. They'll have a perfect memory, great emotional highs, and potentially some supernatural ability.

I personally believe the cons outweigh the pros but there are people who I believe would be very tempted by not having to live in a society and being gifted with immortality and youth.

That doesn't necessarily make them mentally unwell or even myopic, it just means different priorities in life.

Would a Non-Depressed Bella Still Want Vampirism?

I believe she'd likely still be very tempted.

Bella may no longer be depressed, may have patched her self-esteem issues, but she is at heart a romantic.

If she's granted a beautiful, immortal, lover that she can spend the rest of eternity with, who lives in wealth and splendor and is like a prince in a fairy tale, and she herself would transcend humanity and become beautiful with him...

Even as an adult, I can see that being very hard for Bella to say no to.

She may spend more time justifying this decision to herself, grieving losing her parents versus assuming they won't even miss her, and seriously consider what it means to leave the human world behind (though this latter is her dependent on realizing that being a vampire in university and high school is different than being a human and what continually pretending to be a teenager who has no friends will do to her).

I just don't see her being into Edward specifically, as he'd be too young emotionally and physically by that point. Edward is described as having the face made for boybands, the idol of all tweens and some late teenagers. Adult women? Makes you feel kind of gross inside. Especially when Edward opens his mouth and says... the most seventeen things to ever seventeen.

Add onto that the alarming shit Edward says and a stable, non-depressed, Bella will likely say "no me gusta" to the red flags Edward flies with reckless abandon.

"I'll murder you in the woods and eat your corpse" sounds much less sexy when you're 25 versus when you're 17.

But vampirism presented by the right person? I imagine Bella would still be very tempted if not no holds barred interested.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #bella swan #meta #headcanon #opinion

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hisuizorua · 2 months

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i think a lot about how crazy it must be to find out you're immortal. i feel like usually when characters are immortal they're introduced as such or when they learn they now have immortality it's packaged with an obvious cause like vampirism. it's gotta be nuts to spend your whole life being just Some Guy, aware of your own mortality just like anyone else, but for some reason when everybody you know gets old and dies you just. don't. and you don't know why and you've spent your whole life being just as cautious as anyone else--why wouldn't you? how were you supposed to know you couldn't die?--and now you're here, suddenly staring out at forever. how long do you think it takes for a person to accept they're not just long-lived but immortal? do you think they get suspicious when they're noticing aging isn't doing quite the same thing to them as it does everyone else? maybe they're 100 years old and haven't slowed down since their 40s and the idea lives in the back of their head, it never leaves, but they're in denial. i think by 150 you gotta be confident, right? at that point you know you're not dying like everyone else, this life may as well be your "afterlife," so what do you do with it now? what's that look like?

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froggymarsh · 6 months

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Please tell me about your gunpowder boys head cannons please please I want to know everything about the immortal sillies who have trauma

CLAPS AND CHEERS !!

Ok this might actually be more about the vigil and how everyone is connected to it more than gunpowder boys but i think it's cool so im gonna ramble here we go (discussions of character death. lots of references to dying below and i mean it. we're talking about the vigil)

Pixlriffs' existence is intertwined with the Vigil. it appeared on the day he was born and it will disappear the day he dies. It's what gives him his immortality- it's the reason pixandrians chose to leave the anthill and build their desert kingdom. the vigil is the heart of pixandria - it's pixlriffs' heart too.

He outlived his people a dozen times over. Everyone who was born after him died before him. He's lit so, so many candles.

The Vigil is what gives the emperors their immortality- the ability to be revived after death. Much like Pixl and the Vigil- a candle in their color appeared the day they were born, (or the day they appeared in the world, in Shrub's case), and it gave them the ability to be revived as many times as they needed.

Pixl doesn't know it- and neither does anyone else. It's a secret that lives and dies with the Vigil- it's a monument to the last rulers of each kingdom- the ones who are the very souls of their kingdom. it intwines them with everything they've built, and when their kingdoms finally fall, so do they.

it is pixl's job to care for the vigil. (it is pixl's job to care for the emperors)

He doesn't know of any other immortals. He doesn't know of any gods, no one else can see the future as he can. he's alone.

and then Fwhip comes along

Fwhip:

was a vampire from birth. he ages differently from humans, as does pixl. he outlives everyone in his kingdom a dozen times over, except for his mother.

his candles are red. his were the first to appear, after pixl's. the color of blood, of a vampire's eyes. Pixl doesn't know what the candle means, didn't know that there would be others

and then he meets him, and they get on like a house on fire

I think they were friends as kids. Kids who talked about living forever, because Vampires tend to live for a very, very long time. kids who fantasized about living forever, what that meant for their friendship, when they'd be old and gray together, old as their grandpas, old as the sun, old as all the grains of sand in the desert.

Pixl was supposed to die a long time ago. He hasn't yet. Neither of them know why, and neither of them really get the chance to find out before their world is gone.

i want them to be like. idk. mirrors to each other ? maybe foils ? idk the right word but Fwhip is armed with the knowledge that he's going to live for a very, VERY long time, (because he's a vampire), and Pixlriffs...isn't. Pixl had no idea he'd live this long, no idea he'd outlive everyone he cares about. it's a miracle he has Fwhip or he'd lose his mind.

#this is messy. but. yeah ! my boys. i got another ask so im gonna split up the thoughts :sunglasses:#asks #thank you !!!#fwhip tag #pixl tag

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hollowwhisperings · 1 year

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Feanor the Lapsed Catholic

(forewarning: i was not raised catholic nor am i at all religious. i am an outsider working from cue cards and tinfoil.)

so. Feanor is an effed up elf. he was born exceptional: his birth had somehow killed his immortal mother in what the elves had been promised was [heaven].

so feanor is an unprecedented existence, amongst his peers, the subject of death being some distant history belonging to The Ages of Old. he was BORN an existential crisis.

then his dad gets remarried. except. the valar had made much ado on the spiritual union of marriage, on monogamy and Forever (because elves are, allegedly, immortal). so what does it mean for Miriel, that her soul's promised partner is now joined to another?

i forget whether miriel was consulted on the matter &, regardless of any permission or support from her... FEANOR feels Betrayed and Existential about it all.

but, at least, the greatest promise the valar had offered to the elves who migrated was Light. holy light. eternal light. beautiful light.

except, uh, there's been a Kerfuffle and ONLY YOU, feanor the mere elf, can turn the generators back on! we just need to break your life's work, the symbol of your remaining faith in and love for the valar (& valinor) to do it! btw, we are Demanding, not Asking.

Feanor is entirely disillusioned and his father getting MURDERED (in [heaven]! HOW) tips him right off the ledge of "eff this, you're lying liars who lie" to "you never meant your promises, you could never protect us, you would use us and see us die for your failings". since Feanor is a Living Existential Crisis, he was already questionably sane & no one had precedent to aid him. his only recourse was his own efforts, his own children, his own followers.

this is Not Helpful, it turns out, in a high stress situation without precedent where elves are freaking out and running blind. it is the End of Days, seemingly. anyone whp stands between Feanor's quest to return Light to their world, to seek justice from Melkor, to leave this false promise land for The Elves' True Home?

they must be traitors who remain loyal to those false friends, the valar, the valar who are, to feanor's mind, equal to Melkor in their treachery - all valar are the same to him, by this breaking point. feanor has found the valar equally false and equally treacherous: they killed his mother through negligence, killed his father outright, would kill Feanor and every elf too, probably (Feanor is Disillusioned, Furious and Very Traumatised about Death)!

so Feanor kills and rallies his followers to kill too. everyone ie emotionally, existentially compromised. no one can see past their terror, their outrage, the sudden darkness - it is easier to kill when your "enemy" is facelss, when you are still harbouring some belief that Death Isn't Real in Valinor (other than the eldest elves & the house of Finwe, "dying" is too alien an idea for these elves to truly understand what they are doing &, after these first justifications of violence... later ones become excusable, mayhaps even logical (the deaths at Alqualonde could be made "meaningless" if the True Purpose is abandoned now for fear of further kinslaying, etc).

i find Feanor FASCINATING. he has no rolemodels, no guidance, no one to hold him avcountable. he is a genius working entirely on impulse and outrage and TERROR.

feanor's life could have been a lot less horrible for everyone else if Valinor had Hobbits. i wonder whether Bilbo, Frodo & Sam inspired the elves of Valinor to petition for Therapy Hobbits? i imagine Nienna would be on board with such a scheme.

Or, at the very least, DWARVEN therapy. Legolas, i imagine, would have drafted his first petitions on Dwarven Visitation Right as soon as he first took [boat-building] lessons.

It is a great tragedy that Feanor died before meeting any dwarves. He would fit right in, provided there were high enough ceilings. Dwarves have spent their entire existence as sentient beings being Existential. They have it ingrained within their society. They know death and they know divine disappointment. Yet they know faith and forgiveness too.

But the faith of dwarves goes beyond the knowings of my tinfoil: outsider from religion that i am, the methods of healing from crises of faith or of changing one's means of keeping faith are questions i've never had personal need to address.

i still suspect that the cursed souls of Feanor & (some of) his sons would find healing easier/actually feasible in the Halls of Aule rather than those of Mandos. but that is a fanfic i've not the time to patchwork together.

#feanorians #silm meta #discussions around religion #outsider POV #feanor #imagine getting orphaned in [heaven]#imagine angels asking some dude to turn the sun back on #imagine you're the first known orphan amongst your people in thousands of years #and grief counselling doesn't exist yet #feanor the walking existential crisis #the first kinslaying #alqualonde #character study

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kagrenacs · 2 years

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i've been thinking about the idea of lesser daedra also being inherently bound to abstract concepts like the princes are to their spheres. this is pretty simple and might even be kind of intended with some of the "species" (like hungers and seekers) but i was considering just extending it to all daedra since then there'd be some justification to the whole "sacrificing part of yourself to make mundus" - they'd be forsaking their own immortality to be freed from being limited by (1/3)

specific concepts. without that i just feel like there is no real justification to being a human instead of say, a dremora? since canon dremoras are just like normal guys but fully immortal and with no real disavantages if compared to humans beyond being usually generic enemy npcs (lol). kinda similar to that pathfinder demon queen that wanted to become a (non-demonic) god specifically so she wouldn't be limited to the whole "always chaotic evil" thing but in a general sense yk. (2/3)

also ties in with the "daedra cant create, only replicate" lore that i honestly think was discarded? but was also cool since idk there SHOULD be some sort of reason for the whole aedric sacrifice for mundus to make sense? if daedra have everything that mortals have plus full immortality then idk what lorkhan and other aedric spirits were trying to achieve beyond just. dying lol. what do you think (3/3)

now that i've sent those asks i've realized that i haven't properly illustrated what that'd look like but it'd be kinda like how some dnd outsiders are like representations of alignments and such? like how a demon is a representation of chaotic evil and couldn't really even attempt to be anything else since they ARE that concept. a daedric seeker would BE the seeking of knowledge itself and couldn't possibly have some sort of existence that isn't defined by that. a hunger IS hunger etc. (1/2)

and like yeah unlike daedra mortals live and die quickly and once we die thats it etc but we aren't really limited in that sort of way (kind of? since TES kinda has some sort of pre-defined fate for everyone but "prisoners" but im willing to ignore that since i dont care). this would be some sort of justification for just throwing eternity itself away to become a mortal in mundus. the freedom for self definition and the possibility of change. it'd be cool (2/2)

********

Formatting my answer down here to make things clearer to read. I've been thinking about this topic recently too! I'm happy to announce the 'Daedra can't create only replicate' plays a somewhat large part in ESO, so it's definitely on dev's minds. Lower Daedra (the talking ones at least) seem to experience time at the same-ish relative velocity as mortals, so their perception of time is comparable to ours. With that, my rationalization of Lorkhan's Endeavour comes as something like this:

Imagine living forever. You have endless time to do anything you want. Similarly, everyone around you is immortal. Even with diversifying your experiences, eventually, everything is going to become repetitive and dull. Infinite time, finite experiences available to you. Relationships are lackluster, there’s no biological urge, eventually you’ll likely drift apart. The Dremora have clans, but it’s based on following ideals like glory and war. With no sense of an ‘end’ many experiences won’t carry the weight they would have to us. There’s no perceived sense of significance within this time span. Anything you work towards, to your time frame, you’ll watch crumble in an instant, over and over.

How you view this depends on the type of person you are. If you live in the moment and spontaneously, or you greatly fear death and the destruction of your ego, you’re daedric. If you’re a dreamer and lay out future plans, or have a strong sense of doing things to pass something on to the next generation, you may not find this fulfilling enough, and you hear Lorkhan out. I think your thoughts on sphere also really play a role in this, there isn’t much wiggle room to choose to define yourself, or create anything beyond yourself within a box. Ultimately I think that was his plan, end this sort of unchanging hierarchical stasis everyone had locked themselves into, and create things that could create things.

#asks #anon

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mercuryislove · 2 years

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Happy Friday Lynn! I am here with my little grocery list of questions :)

12 for Sonam

14 for Anwei

19 for Azetahn

20 for Josef

29 for Yixing

happy friday but also saturday and sunday since once again I'm slow as hell to respond (I don't have a good excuse ._. i just wanted to sleep all day today)

12. How does your oc handle talking to somebody they can't stand? What if it's a situation where they're forced to work with this person?

Sonam has an excellent “customer service” voice/personality and can trick people into thinking she's on friendly terms with them when she secretly hates their guts. Like making excellent conversation and smiling to their faces but clenching her fist behind her back the whole time. She learned to put on a pleasant face because, well, she has to work with a lot of stupid people and knows that being a dick won't get you hired again. BUT she does like to give people the benefit of the doubt because she too was once an idiot that had no clue how to show up on time, negotiate a contract, read a fucking map, etc etc etc. Being with Yixing for so long rubbed off on her though because as the years go by, her patience gets worse and worse to the point that she gives up the fake kindness and will tell someone to their face that she doesn't have time for their stupidity. She has a hard time making friends as she gets older lol

14. If your oc spent one day free from any consequences or recognition for their actions, how would they act?

Um, Anwei would just want to be left alone for a day. Like interact with Nobody. She is always busy and people always ask her for shit and she just wants to like. sleep late and eat a fucking cheeseburger or something without anyone interrupting her. She's kind of boring. Having shit to do 24/7 makes a girl want to lay in the sun far away from everyone else on earth. Maybe go see a show. Some live music or something? But that would require interacting with people and she does enough of that every day, so maybe not. Let her be alone in the middle of nowhere and she'll be happy enough.

19. How would an enemy describe this oc?

They wouldn't have the chance to describe him because unfortunately they would be dead. But if they actually had the time to describe Azetahn, they would call him a brat and a daddy's boy. A cry baby. A tattle tale. “Daddy, daddy, these people looked at me the wrong way. I need you to punish them.” He has that vibe. He always gets what he wants and it has spoiled him beyond belief. But that doesn't mean he's a weak little shrimp. He's a notorious sadist (and coincidentally one of like three people that thinks adrenaline makes blood taste better), so people try to stay on his good side since it means either dealing with the Sovereign or dealing with the Sovereign's fucked up little son who was never taught not to play with his food.

20. What's a superpower or magical ability this oc would hate having?

Immortality lol. Josef is a simple man and the thought of never dying is really unpleasant to him. Partially because he thinks it would be boring to live forever (he isn't even that old and feels like he's seen Enough of the world), but mostly because he can't imagine how lonely the neverending passage of time must feel.

29. What's your least favorite thing about this oc?

You know that one guy at a party that is unbelievably depressed and wants everyone to know it through the self-deprecating jokes they make? Yixing is that guy. It's like “haha we get it you're miserable but can you socialize like a normal person without trying to bring up your daddy issues to the rest of us who are trying to have a good time????”

Honorable mention to him hating conflict so much that he just fucking uhhhh LEAVES when things get too tough. Packs a bag and moves across the continent to avoid having a difficult conversation. This will come back to bite him on the ass more than once.

#oc talk #i hope these arent too boring of answers lol #it's truly a miracle that sonam and yixing were together for so long because they are SO different about so much stuff #but she was like 'you know. hes totally right about being a bitch to people he doesnt like' and she started doing it too #she teaches him how to act normal around people and he teaches her how to be a cunt. symbiosis. that's love baby #unfortunately she couldnt train the broken fight or flight response out of him! otherwise this would be a very different story #in other news azetahn sucks lol he is a shithead through and through. spoiled brat that uses his daddy's name for clout #and of course he always gets away with it because WHO in their right mind would try to hold him or his sister accountable #the only person that can keep him in line is tahire and she sure as shit isnt gonna do that bc she was just as much of a brat in her day

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andersunmenschlich · 9 months

Text

Unlawful Entry

My apartment building is meant to be reasonably secure. Staff, tenants, and the US postal service have keys to the building: no one else.

Someone circumvented my building's security.

They broke in without breaking anything but the law—probably slipped in after someone with a key.

They were fervent. Fixated. They had a goal; they were on a mission. Laws meant nothing to them in the pursuit of this goal. Criminal trespass was necessary. They had to deliver a message. .

"DO YOU KNOW FROM READING OUR HOLY TEXTS THAT THERE IS A PLACE WAITING FOR YOU IN A BEAUTIFUL LAND THAT YOU CANNOT ENTER UNTIL YOU'RE DEAD?" one piece of bold text screamed.

"Our holy writings are the words of a supernatural being. They teach many incredibly important things, but the most important thing they teach is how a member of Homo sapiens can become immortal* (*live forever with the previously mentioned supernatural being)," the next bit of text said, in a smaller and less excited font.

A snippet from one of their holy books followed, in red.

"I wrote this stuff to you people (the people who already believe this stuff) so that you'll know it's true and… well… believe it. Which you already do. Anyway, you're immortal."

Unembarrassed by this, the smaller and less excited font continued, "According to our holy texts, there are some things that we humans have to do in order to know for sure that we'll be going to a beautiful land that only dead people can enter after we die (at which point we'll live forever)."

Don't be misled by the suggestion of things to be done to achieve knowledge.

Don't, as I did, begin thinking about how one could actually know that people go on living after they're dead (but in an unreachable location).

Remember that this is "according to our holy texts."

The next bit of writing screams loudly and excitedly again, an all caps instruction that the person who left it thought was worth committing a class C felony for: "ADMIT YOU ARE A CRIMINAL WHO HAS OFFENDED AGAINST A SUPERNATURAL ENTITY."

Yes, that's right: step one in getting the knowledge of your ticket to a beautiful place you can only live in after you die is… accepting as valid the idea that you have done something to upset, harm, or offend a being that, to all appearances, does not exist. Seems an odd way of getting knowledge!

After some consideration, I realized the problem.

They say that admitting you're a criminal is step one in knowing that you're going to live forever after you die, but what they mean is that obviously you already know that living forever after you die is a possibility, and so they're skipping that part—what they mean is that admitting you're a criminal is step one in making sure that you get your ticket to Wonderland.

"Everyone has failed to follow this one supernatural entity's rules," another red-text snippet said in calmer font, "and isn't good enough."

"According to our sacred writings," the unhinged rant continued, "we have to admit that we have offended against the supernatural entity whose words those writings are, and so we don't deserve to go to a beautiful place and live forever after we die."

"ACCEPT THAT YOU DESERVE TO BE TORTURED FOREVER," the next all caps bit bellowed.

"If you work, you get money. If you break this one supernatural being's law, you get death. Death is your wage: you deserve it. But the entity will freely give you the undeserved gift of immortality, via Joshua the Chosen One, our master."

"Death and eternal torture were thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death, with even death dying 'cause it's so bad and deathy."

"Our sacred texts tell us that, because we broke this supernatural entity's law, not only do we not deserve to live in a beautiful place forever after we die, we deserve to die in a horrible place forever after we die! Eternal punishment! Unending, torturous death!"

…

I don't really have a lot to add here. We've gone right past unsubstantiated claims about immortality to insults and threats.

Of course the felon who left this piece of paper inside a locked dwelling thinks they're just stating a hard truth by telling me (and everyone else who reads the paper) that we're so horribly criminal we deserve to be tortured forever… but still.

"CONFESS THAT THE CHOSEN ONE DIED A HORRIBLE DEATH TO PAY FOR YOUR CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR AND THEN CAME BACK TO LIFE THREE DAYS LATER."

It seems to me that if one temporary death is enough to make up for whatever supernatural laws everyone everywhere has supposedly broken, billions of eternal punishments are a bit much. I mean, if I and a group of friends break someone's fancy windows and it turns out $20 is enough to cover everything, why should each of us have to pay $200,000,000,000?

And if it's some worse offense—say we each chopped off one of his fingers or something—how could someone else being punished possibly make up for what we did?

What are we supposed to learn from that? "Do whatever you want and don't worry about it because there won't be any unpleasant consequences for you" seems the only possible conclusion to me. You don't even have to worry about the whipping boy; he's fine!

"This is how the supernatural entity shows us how much he loves us: the Chosen One died in our place even though we were still filthy criminals who didn't deserve it."

This snippet of red text seems to imply that once somebody pays for the broken window, you're not a window-breaker anymore.

Handy, that.

It also suggests that love is shown by killing somebody else, instead of the person you ought to kill. "You broke my rules, so you deserve death. I love you, though, so I'll kill this guy over here instead, and that'll make up for your rule-breaking."

Interesting definition of love.

"Our sacred texts say that Joshua came to earth"—from outer space? from another dimension? from the darkness of nonexistence the way we all do?—"and consented to be tortured to death to pay for our supernatural offenses! Then he stopped being dead and became alive again, to prove that his horrible death really was a satisfactory alternative to our eternal torments."

This is rather like being told that, because I've broken a rich man's window, I owe him two hundred billion dollars—but some other guy handed the rich man $20 and then took the $20 back, so the price is paid.

And, in fact, the guy taking the twenty back is what proves that he had the right to pay my fine in the first place.

"COMMIT YOURSELF TO FOLLOWING THE MASTER JOSHUA AND YOU WILL BE SAVED FROM THE TERRIFYING FATE YOU DESERVE," shrieks the final all caps sentence.

"If you admit out loud that Joshua is your master, and genuinely believe that a supernatural entity brought him back to life after he died, you won't be tortured for ever and ever after you die."

"Our sacred texts say that in order to be saved from the unimaginably horrific fate worse than death we deserve, we have to sit down and deliberately choose to let the Chosen One pay for us," the threatening gibberish continues.

"If you would like to accept the Chosen One's offer now," a bold, but small text paragraph informs the reader, "then do your best to convey this following message (or something like it) to an entity that does not appear to be present anywhere in reality—and make sure you really mean it!"

The message is given in italics, which is pretty much the only way of making an individual piece of text stand out from the rest at this point on the heavily marked paper.

"Cherished Joshua, I admit that I have done something/s that broke your rules. I understand that I deserve to be tortured forever and ever, but I also know that you died a painful death to make up for my crime/s (and then undied). Please make it so that your temporary death is accepted in lieu of my eternal torture, so that I can live forever in a wonderful place after I die. I absolutely believe that you are going to do this for me. Truth!" .

…I know, I've put too much thought into this.

A piece of paper delivered by a literal criminal to the inside of my locked residence without my knowledge or consent, covered in incoherent claims, threats, and promises—in a better world, I'd throw the thing out and call the cops to check the security cameras.

Unfortunately, I don't live in a better world. I live in a world where ranting cultists like this one are considered normal people.

Actually they get more of a pass than normal folks.

Criminal trespass is a crime for everyone else. Entering a locked building without permission would get most people jail time; but when you're the right kind of cultist, you're above the law.

Scary, isn't it?

#ex christian #criminal trespassing #in order to propagate cult nonsense #''there's a wonderful place waiting for you to live in it forever after you die #''and here's how you get there:#''admit that you're a disgusting criminal who deserves to be tortured for ever and ever #''admit that a special person got horribly hurt so you could be saved from the fate you deserve #''beg that special person to save you and believe that they'll do it #''profit! (for the folks at the top.)''#long post #very long post #this is sort of my specialty isn't it #Isaiah loves writing long posts #Christian beliefs described bluntly #stripping bare the ideas and concepts they like to try and hide behind specialized vocabulary

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entoman-created-by-the-tallgreys · 1 year

Text

💀 Death is Death 💀

I bet that was ones and extremely beautiful house, Live and Bright Sunnytown full of thousands of people hustling and busting and leaving their day-to-day life.

[ Warning : Extremely Long Post ]

NOW LOOK AT IT, LOOK WHAT'S WAS LEFT OF IT ! ! !

You're no Different, Death is Death !

. . .

Time is Precious, DON'T ! WASTE !! IT ! ! !

. . .

It doesn't matter how much money you have, doesn't matter what paranormal being you are, if you are a living Panama being I guess that counts as supernatural, it doesn't matter time kills us all, we are all dying the moment we are born even though we're Growing, and none of us can be a 100% sure will live a full life, Look at how many people die prematurely before the life of a hundred years old.

! SHIT !

Okay everyone that died before they're 20 or 30 years, old.

. . .

Death is everywhere and it's a fucking constant,

Death is all over the fucking place, like Rotting Blood all over A Corpse face,

. . .

Some of you reading this will probably die tonight and some of you will die tomorrow how do I know that maybe one of you won't die this week or someone you know will die or something will die how do you know they whoever reads this will die within this fucking year.

Death is everywhere and it's a fucking constant

. . .

You can't escape death you can't really prevent death either all you can do is tonight, denying the inevitable all you can do is temporarily push it at Bay as a softly tackles in the background slowly catching up no one can ever truly escape death no one can change truly ever defeat the Grim Reaper and oddly Enough the Grim Reaper is also the God Cronus

Try as you might, Iowa escaped Cronus try to get away from him try to fight him as much as you want and you know those who have exceeded and becoming completely immortal every last one of them has gone completely insane because the human brain was never capable of living a life forever the human brain is a inferior piece of shit

Every single mother fucker the average heat immortality every last one of them went insane, every last single soul who achieved everlasting life isn't alive anymore are they because they were immortal they're not invincible and they all went insane and met their demise because of it they found a way how to live forever they didn't find a way how to become indestructible

. . .

💀

. . .

So you right now reading this I just want you to be very aware of what little time you have left in your life even if you're a stupid fucking kid death is coming to you, death is coming for you, try your hardest to escape it but I hear about child death all the time in the news I can't turn on my fucking phone and look in the newsfeed without hearing about some kids somewhere fucking dying or school shooting killing like 20 different fucking kids

. . .

One minute you have a school for a happy kid next minute we have over a hundred corpses in the shooter committed suicide

. . .

Death is everywhere and it's a constant

. . .

I don't even know someone nearby they were petting a dog they were loving it that was last week their dog is dead now

I know a lot of people who love their dogs so much that when their dog died they committed suicide

. . .

It's because It's all Thay had no one else in their life except for a foreign species that It couldn't they couldn't relate to them in any way a foreign animal called a pet

He must get past because they can't get love in the real world they talk to it if they understand the highly sophisticated complex complex language like English

IT DOESN'T

Humans lie themselves, and tell themselves that the dog or the cat is getting a human experience with them and is human why do you think so many cartoons and so many movies have animals acting human in animal form they have human voices they have human emotions human expressions of n if been around an animal you Realize this thing isn't fucking human

. . .

So what you really have is you have people who have gone completely insane who kidnapped an animal they hold it Ransom in their house, and they treat it with as much human love to a basically an alien creature that is extremely undevolved and in no way whatsoever loves them it's just thankful for survival and the benefits there's no love from the animal no animal loves a human being all it comes down to is mere survival once the human stops feeding it and the neighbor feeds the pet the pet will no longer want to be with you if you give the pet love and the neighbor gives the pet food and water the Pet's not going to be around very long because they don't give a fuck about your personality no animal does

And when the stupid fucking animal dies the human has no more ability to lie yourself the human can no longer lie to itself the human has lied to itself to the extreme and telling himself that this foreign object basically or this fucking alien which is an a cat or a dog which is basically an alien to a human being has died and they realize they have what they've already known that the whole time they have no one in their life to love them so they end up committing suicide

They put all their emotion and all their love and all their tender loving care into a stupid fucking animal that in no way at any part of the relationship was able to connect to them on a human level

😡 Idiot's 😡

You have a dying country you have a failing infrastructure you have 8 billion people in the earth that's 8 billion people eating 24/7 you have homelessness on Rampant you have Mass chaos Mass looting Mass Insanity you have the whole the human race starting to concave on in

We have billions of people Lying to Themselves every day tell them something better as inflation gets higher and higher

Food fries are getting so bad I'm seeing them get up to $20 for just one fucking item

And everybody trying to get themselves some kind of spiritual meaning that things will get better everyone's trying to trying to distract themselves real everyone's trying to find a lie they can believe in to keep themselves sane

Death is Everywhere in it and it's a Constant

. . .

And human beings in Mass going completely insane and Breaking Down,

You have hundreds of thousands of millions of human beings trying their best to keep themselves sane the give them some saw some kind of reason to live but they got no reason and once all the illusions are gone the human being realizes how worthless how meaningless how empty how Dead how devoid and how shitty everything really is and that the only thing that really mattered was their relationship with other human beings and when that no longer exists they realize there's no purpose of being a soul with a body

You are a soul with a body

And you're starting to slowly realize that everything in life is meaningless if nature slowly deteriorates breaks down and destroys everything man has ever created it doesn't take long for something in the media to be destroyed it doesn't take long for your favorite cartoon or something else that was of your time period to be gone you don't realize it but you think it's in the background somewhere easily accessible but you don't realize that it's Actually

Gone

. . .

People like to think that the experiences in their lives be around forever people love to delude themselves and give themselves a delusion that their life is eternal or things in their life or eternal or everything the fucking jam that will last forever and people love to lie to themselves they love to live in a lie that can make them feel good they love to be mentally insane

Being having your mind not sync with what is reality is sickness it is the definition of being truly insane and human beings like that human beings like to live a lie humans Love lies they love to lie they love to believe in lies they love to think in liez humans love life they just completely love lies

To live a lie is their life

. . .

And so I bring the data to you, you are no different than all the other shit that died for you you are

YOU ARE NO DIFFERENT FROM THE 100 BILLION MOTHERFUCKERS THAT WERE HERE BEFORE YOU

They thought basically the same thing you did that their lies to go on forever they died they thought the shit in their lives would go on forever to culture change it didn't pagan's thoughts of the world to be pegging for all eternity they were wrong the Christians went fucking insane and killed all of them

The native Americans lived on the lived on America for hundreds of years worshiping Mother Earth and to the Christian piece of shit came across the fucking sea conquered the land start a war with them and completely genocide their fucking people

THEY, WERE WRONG TOO ! ! !

. . .

Everyone, Everybody likes a thing that the here and now is there forever everybody like to think that their emotional experience goes on for eternity

YOU'RE FUCKING WRONG

Shit changed all the time time changes everything except the elements of air earth water and fire those are constant

Also the sacred forces of light and dark those are also those are especially a constant

Those are truly permanent things planets can be destroyed with all the elements but the Sacred Forces are The Eternal

JUST LOOK AT HOW MANY VIDEO GAMES ARE NO LONGER IN EXISTENCE

I think how many movies you watch that you can't watch again think about all the times in your life that you played or happy that are gone they have all the friends that have died in your life that you'll never experience ever again until until you yourself are Dead 👻

Think to yourself of all the things you've lost in your life and so has the rest of the world in the culture think of all the movies you loved and all the actors are now dead

Think about all the works of art that have been destroyed over the process think of all the websites have been shut down you thought those would be up forever

THEY'RE FUCKING GOOOOOOOONNEEE ! ! ! ! !

And you Realize you Start to really realize everything in your meeting your life is meaningless that life is meaningless that all your progress is basically an illusion everything you ever loved and cared about every human being has to experience watch it die every human being goes through this this is something natural it's also ignorant to think that it'll be around forever and nothing's around forever shit changes all the fucking time

Time Makes Everything irrelevant

Now do you start to understand and see that your life is meaningless, NOW !

Are you able to understand how worthless you are how worthless I am how Worthless it is, all the stupid animals out there they don't know they're going to die someday

Are you starting to understand why government take themselves too fucking serious and actually the governments are completely fucking insane for taking everything so fucking serious

Are you now able to understand that nature is Sacred and you should just be part of the Whole

Are the sacredness of creation part of the Universe part of nature to go back into it all and spiritually love the universe I'm not saying pull away from any deity I didn't say that but understand the Sacredness of Nature

Now that is something that you can never take too seriously

. . .

Nature is Holy nature is sacred nature is love

Nature is literally fucking Divine

Do as Thou Wilt and have a good day

Because your time is running out

. . .

And mother fucker it won't be long until you're Dead

. . .

And the next day before comes along after you thinking that they're alive eternal and their life will never end thinking they know everything and they seen everything and yet they haven't seen one fraction of what happened before them because one Cronus's BIGGEST Middle Finger is letting you know nothing of the past

. . .

Have to leave you ignorant and keep you completely unaware of all that is and happened before you you can get you can experience these brief echoes the past is seeing the residue of things once were but you'll never know what it's like to be there you'll never understand the feeling the Vibe

The Emotions you'll never know all the things that were said you know the sounds the Sight's, The Smells unless you were there and that specific time unless you experience that specific point of existence and what you experience in that area

YOU'LL, NEVER FUCKING KNOW WHAT HAPPENED

. . .

Understand that your time is running out and you just try to start living your life as if everyday was the last, BECAUSE YOU'LL NEVER HAVE A FUCKING IDEA WHEN IT IS THE LAST YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU'RE SOMEONE'S GOING TO MURDER YOU AND YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A MEDICAL EMERGENCY AND YOU WON'T MAKE IT THROUGH

You have no idea when you're going to die you live your day-to-day life grinding away on the clock trying to get this piss poor false resource called money just so you can live your meaningless fucking life and be thrown away like a fucking used tampon for the Government

Your life has more value than that

. . .

But you're in control of your own life just like you control yourself to read this entire article to the very end you did that as an act of free will

. . .

Now after reading this entire thing do yourself a favor fuck me the author that wrote this, DO YOURSELF A FAVOR

GO DO WHAT YOU WANT AND STOP WASTING YOUR FINITE AMOUNT OF TIME ON THIS FUCKING PLANET

#Time #Red Pill #Life #Death #Fate

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villainsandvictimsalliance · 3 years

Text

THE MAN WHO WANT IT ALL VS THE MAN WHO LOVE IT ALL:

There's a trope that has been going around since the day humanity started thinking about themselves in relation to the universe: the finite nature of the man in contrast to the infinite nature of the world.

Our time is limited. We are born, we live, we die. That scares us as a race, because we don't know what's beyond the death line. We are scared of dying, we are scared of working our whole lives to then lose it to the darkness. And from that fear, rises the stereotype of the man who refuse to die, the man who wants it all.

Wanting and loving are two different things.

The man who want it all wants to own, wants to rule over everything that exists, because he's so afraid of being just a tiny piece of a greater game that he wants to have absolute control. You see, like a spider in a web, his threads are easy to break when you're a greater figure, but they are also resistant enough to trap any being tinier than him, so that gives the illusion of control he wanted so bad.

The man who loves it all is afraid of dying too. The difference? He accepts his time and place, and instead of focusing on owning things, on trapping things, he spends his time admiring them in their freedom, loving them as they come. If our time is finite, instead of making it last forever, we should enjoy the time we have. That's what the man who loves it all thinks.

Thinking about the Shigaraki siblings, about the meaning behind All For One and One For All, I came to the conclusion that mha / bnha is the story of the human race struggling to understand how should they live.

Many times in the manga we have encountered characters that think their quirks or their abilities makes them superior. But it isn't quiet true, because the human body is a fragile thing. Not matter how strong it is, time affects it the same. Evil lords like AFO get old, weak kids like Deku grow strong. A quirk can be trained as much as a body and a mind can be trained, so strength is not the variable they should take as a foundation to their world.

The same happens with intelligence, beauty, speed, money, power... They don't last in the hands of a man. Those are things that one can win and lose in an instant.

The answer is simpler than you could think.

It is men who choose who they are and what they're going to be, as long as they understand their limits and capacities.

Take Mirio. In order for him to become a great hero, he first needed to understand his quirk and then work based on that. He understood himself, he accepted himself and then he grew.

Take Deku. What makes Deku a Deku? His love for humanity. He's always observing, always studying, always connecting. When he focused his quirk on what he was, instead of trying to imitate All Might, he understood how he could grow. He's the kid who's built on his love for other beings, so he takes a piece of everything he loves and he is who he is.

It's not enough to want. You need to love.

Overhaul wanted it all, but he failed when it came to love. Why? He indeed loved things, but he forgot to accept his limits and capacities. He tried to do more than he could, he forced the people around him passed their limits, and everything came crashing before him.

AFO, with all his powers, lives hiding, frustrated because he can't obtain the only thing he "needs" in order for him to control the whole world. But can he take it? Would that be enough? Once he has everything, would he be happy? Or is he trying to obtain everything to cover up a bigger pain in his heart?

The reason why Yoichi could develop One For All is because he loved so much, that he knew he was going to die, but it was not the end. Our lives are not the end of the world. There's more people, future generations. What AFO couldn't accept (he not being immortal, he not living forever and being able to have it all), was what made Yoichi so powerful.

AFO, as a being, can't be going on forever. But you know what can go on and on endlessly? The repercussions of our love.

The vestiges are a symbol of that. Even if we can't name them, that people that came before us lives in the things we do. The users of One For All didn't want to live forever, but they wanted to protect others, save others, give others the chance to live their times. Contrary to AFO, their lives were short, they die not owning that much, they were very mortal and almost simple.

Do you remember what Nighteye said when he saw how Deku changed the future? It was not only his will, but the will of everyone, fighting so hard to, that changed the course of time.

One For All. One will, one wish, one continuous time for all of us. We live in the same world, it is mine as much as it is yours. Sacrifice our lives to protect everyone, do our best to defend everyone. Love doesn't judge, it loves even the worst beings, because it's capable of finding light in the deepest of darkness.

All For One. Since the beginning, AFO was destined to fail. His body is mortal, he is mortal, so he can't take the whole world, he can't take all the quirks, he can't live all lives. All he does, for one fear: dying. He can't avoid it. The more he tries to stay in control, the more he loses. If the target is too big or there are too many flies on his web, the threads eventually break.

We are born, we live, we die. Not matter how much you tried to kill it, hope always finds a way to come back. And not matter how much you try to keep it alive, evil dies as everything else does.

One last question: Does Shigaraki Tomura resembles the man who want it all or the man who loves it all? Is he trying to control everything or trying to break a web? Is he a parallel of Yoichi or a parallel of AFO?

Or maybe, can he be the personification of that duality? Can he be the point where the two things meet? What makes us complex as human beings? Is he not a thing or the other, but the ultimate consequence of the Shigarakis fight, along with Deku?

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angelicamerlinbarnes · 3 years

Text

Immortality isn't living forever, that's not what it feels like.

Immortality is everyone else dying.

#twelfth doctor #doctor who #bbc #immortality #have a nice day y'all #and love life for the beautiful precious gift that it is #be kind #i love you #the world is so much better with you in it

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hollanderfangirl · 4 years

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Let me go |Harry Holland|

Pairing: Harry Holland x Therapist! Reader

A/N: so I'm not a therapist and I've never been to therapy, well if you don't consider the sessions with my psychology teacher. All of what I've written comes from what I've learnt in psychology class, reading books and listening to other people's experiences.

Warnings: talk about death, panic attack and it's just really sad

Word count: 3.3k, this is my longest fic yet :)

(Sorry for the shitty moodboard I just had to post this fic or I would have lost my mind)

Harry Holland walked through the halls of the clinic, not really sure why he was here. Well he knew why he had come to see a therapist but he wondered how he put himself in this situation. He had been locking himself inside a glass cave built out of hopelessness for months, his friends and family were greatly concerned about him but he refused to take any help. He had always been stubborn, he never asked for anybody's help. He hated the look of pity on people's faces. He hated people showing him sympathy. He was more than this. He didn't need anybody. He can pull himself together, he just needed time.

But it wasn't helping. Burying your feelings in has never helped anybody. Putting on a smile everyday in front of people and crying himself to sleep, Harry found it more and more difficult. His mum had sensed it and told him to go and see a doctor. He had resisted it at first.

"Please do it for me, Harry. I cannot see you like this, at least for my satisfaction," Nikki had said. "Just go for a trial session and if you like it then you can continue," but of course he wasn't going to continue.

Now as he stood in front of the receptionist, he was reconsidering his decision.

"Yes, do you have an appointment, sir?"

"Huh?" he seemed lost. "Yeah..yeah"

"Just wait here, I'll inform Dr Y/l/n"

"Your know what, cancel the appointment. I- I don't need help"

"Oh but this is just a trial, Mr Holland"

"Yeah but I don't-" the receptionist was already at the door, muttering something to the woman inside.

You step outside to see a curly headed man, he looked pleasant but his eyes looked sad. Those were the eyes of a person who had seen immense grief, someone who had been miserable for a long long time.

"I'm sorry but I don't need therapy… I didn't realise this before, I -I shouldn't have come here"

"Oh Mr Holland, this is just a trial right? Let's just have some coffee. This isn't therapy yet" you smile at him.

"No I really-"

"Okay then, give me half an hour. If you still feel the same way, then you can leave. Half an hour is all I want from you, Mr Holland"

"Alright"

You lead him into your chamber, closing the door behind you. He sits down on a couch across from you, your desk separating you both. The first step of therapy- resistance. People always resist therapy at first, they feel like they don't need the help or maybe seeking help makes them weak. They don't feel like opening up to a complete stranger. How can they? How can they open up their most vulnerable state to a person who they barely know? But slowly and steadily, a rapport is made. A therapist has to be very careful and empathetic. They have to be trusting. Someone who people can turn to. Someone who they can relate to. Someone who understands them. Someone who would just listen.

"So, your mother sent you here. Right, Mr Holland?"

"Just- just call me Harry"

"Okay then Harry, tell me"

"What do you want me to tell you?"

"Everything. Start from the beginning"

"Well I- do you… do you really think I would-" he hesitates. "Who do you think you are? Why do you think I should pay you to listen to my goddamn life story here?"

"You're not here to tell me your life story," you say politely. "I'm here to help you and I can do that only if you would let me"

"Well guess what? You cannot help me, I knew I was wasting my time," he gets up and starts to walk away.

"I asked for half an hour of your time, Harry"

"Well I don't fucking care"

"Harry, please listen to me. All I ask is half an hour"

Little did he know, this half an hour was going to change his life.

Something about your tone made him stay. He sat back down on the couch, turning away from you.

"Okay, so if you're not going to talk, I will," you sigh. "So, you have suffered a great loss, someone you loved dearly?"

"Yes," he still didn't look you in the eye.

"Who was it?"

"My…my friend. Girlfriend"

"And when did this happen?"

"A year ago"

"How have you been holding up?"

He thought of giving another vague answer. How the fuck do you think I'm holding up? I'm fucking dying every single day.

"Uh- it's been a little better, I guess. It's not as bad as it used to be"

"Well that's a start. And do you still think about her?"

Every goddamn minute, lady. What do you want from me? "Yeah sometimes"

"And how have you been sleeping?"

I can't sleep. I haven't slept properly for months. If I sleep I see her coming back to me. "Alright I guess"

This wasn't going anywhere. You thought of recommending him another doctor but something about him charmed you. He was a man who should have been living a great life but his grief was tearing him apart. You had to help him. You felt a strong connection to him, you felt determined. No, I have to help him. I just have to.

"Harry, do you feel like you're responsible for your girlfriend's death?" it was a straightforward question, you had been trying to get something out of him but he wasn't ready to.

He looked at you dead in the eye, yet could not get any words out. You could sense the anger building up inside him but it wasn't projected at you, he was angry with himself.

"I….. " he took a few deep breaths, clenching his hands into fists. "Yes"

"Why is that so?"

"Fucking hell! Are you for real? She died, okay? And I wasn't there… I wasn't there.. " he was tearing up. "I should have been the one to die! Not her! Not anybody! Everyone just leaves me in the end!" he was full on shouting, letting out everything he had been holding inside himself for a whole year. He had tears in his eyes.

You handed him a box of tissues and he was gasping for breath. When he had calmed down, you both sat in silence for a few minutes.

"You know, Harry, my friend died the day we had a fight. She was my best friend. I knew her ever since we were three. It was a silly argument. We should not have fought about it. But we did and I told her I wished she would just go away… and then she did" it was painful for you to remember this, but time does heal everything.

"I'm sorry," his voice was low. "And I'm sorry for all those things I said"

"No it's alright, that's what you're here for. And besides, it's nothing compared to your loss, Harry"

"No. It- it's not a competition. Suffering is not a competition. It must've been really hard for you, Dr y/l/n," this was the first time he had addressed you.

"Call me y/n," you smile at him. "And yeah that's very true. We often blame ourselves, you know, it's very common. We cannot be angry at them so we get angry with ourselves. Even though we know deep in our hearts that there was nothing we could have done"

There was a long silence.

"She went out for a drive, that bastard drunk driver," he spoke up. "And I was just resting. She asked me so many times to join her but I wanted to sleep"

You nod at him and he continued. "That's…the reason I'm not able to sleep. Every night I close my eyes, I think I'll wake up to that phone call"

"Well yes I don't blame you, our brains sometimes don't process things that come as a shock. And then it just keeps on haunting us forever. Do you believe in life after death, Harry?"

"Well I don't know what to believe"

"Have you- felt her? After she was gone?"

"You'll think I'm crazy"

"I'm a therapist, it'll take you much more than that to convince me you're crazy"

"I sometimes talk to her. Like what would she think about this particular situation. Or just that I miss her so much. I don't get any responses but I just try to think like her?"

"Yeah, that's quite normal actually. People think they need to 'get over' someone's death. But that's not true. You can never really get over something like death"

"And what does getting over even mean? Like you just forget them? Moving on with your life just means that you think they were never a part of it"

"Well you're both right and wrong. Yes we must remember our loved ones who are not with us anymore but at the same time, we have to let them go"

"How? It's too painful"

"I know. But do you believe in the concept of souls, Harry?"

"Yeah I mean," he shrugs.

"The soul is considered to be immortal. And groups of souls tend to travel together. Even if you don't know it, some way, somehow, they're always with us"

He says nothing but his eyes looked softer now.

"And just think about it, think of her seeing you like this. Do you think she could have handled you being so miserable?"

"She would have been heartbroken"

"Exactly. So do it for her, for yourself. For both of you to feel peace again"

"Yeah"

You look at your watch. Half an hour was up.

"So, Harry. Your half an hour is up. Is there anything else?"

"Yes, um we can talk about it in our next session?"

You smile at him. "Of course"

----------------

After that one half an hour session, Harry was a changed man. He was still mourning, he was still miserable but he had hope. For the first time in a long time, he thought he could actually go on with his life, he could finally feel peace.

The week went by smoothly. Harry tried to make himself busy, by surrounding himself with people and always working. He was still getting nightmares but he was determined to sleep. He was sleeping light, afraid of what deep sleep might show him.

Meanwhile your life was exactly the same, you went on with your day treating people, talking, helping them. You loved your job, you loved the sense of satisfaction you got after patients they told you they were finally better. Every person was a challenge, and you knew there was a gem hidden inside every one of them. All of them had immense potential but life hadn't been kind to them. You felt disturbed and it broke your heart to see people hurting. And you would do anything to make it better for them. To help them.

You couldn’t keep Harry out of your mind. You were thinking about him all day long, awaiting your next session with him. What if he cancels? What can I do if he does? Why am I thinking about him? He had this air around him, a magnetic pull, which was pulling your closer and closer towards him. And why is he so damn attractive? No I should not think about him that way. It was the first and foremost rule of your profession. Never get emotionally attached with your clients. It was a professional relationship and must remain that way.

When he came into your office the following week, you could sense the change in him. You felt proud that a single session made such a difference. There was no arrogance in him, he didn’t seem angry anymore. He was calm and better.

“So, Harry. How was your week?”

“It was good, I’ve been shooting my new short film and it’s coming out to be okay so far”

“Alright and how have you been sleeping?”

“Not that good to be honest. I still get dreams, uh bad dreams”

“What do you see in these dreams?”

“I see the accident scene….again and again, it’s the same dream. Sometimes I see her, she talks to me and all that”

“Hmm and have you talked to your family? Your friends?”

“Yeah I talked to my mum…and my brother”

“What did they say?”

“They said they are here for me and will always love me”

“Yes and I don’t doubt that, Harry. You have a lot of people in your life who love and support you. Embrace that”

The session went by smoothly, he opened up to you about his life, everything about the girl he loved so much. About his family, his career. You found yourself staring at him, taking glances at his hands which he constantly moved while he talked. You noticed he was shaking his leg the whole time. Stop staring, y/n.

Wow she’s so beautiful. And thoughtful. And funny and understanding. What am I doing? She’s my therapist….but…why couldn’t I have met her before? Why didn’t I meet her when I was normal? Would things have been different? But then again, I would have never met her if I was normal.

Things seemed to get better, as the weeks progressed, Harry was becoming more and more like his old self again. But there was a feeling of regret, he thought this was wrong as if he were forgetting her. But you were there to guide him, to tell him that this is what life is. It never stops. No matter what happens, you will heal. Someday, sometime. And each day we progress towards it.

And then it happened. The call came at 1 am in the morning. You were sleeping and you were tired, you had been working all day and just needed some rest. You wouldn't have picked the call up but something told you it was important. That you should pick it up.

“Hello?” you yawn.

You just hear muffled breathing for a few seconds.

“Hello? Who is it?”

“It…it’s me…Harry”

“Harry, what’s wrong?” you thought what could have happened at this time of the night.

“I just- can you-” he sounded like he was choking.

“Harry what’s wrong, you’re scaring me”

“I… can’t… breathe,” you hear him sobbing. ”I had… that… dream, I feel like I’m…going to…die”

“Harry, listen to me. You will be okay. Yeah? Just take deep breaths and sit tight. I’m coming to you”

You search through his file to look for his address. When you find it, you rush through the front door and drive to his house. You were on the phone with him the whole drive.

“Just keep breathing, Harry. Deep breaths, okay?”

To your surprise, the front door was unlocked. It looked like he had gone out into the street in the middle of the night. You search through rooms to find him, and you see him curled into a ball at the corner of a king size bed. You touch his shoulder and he flinches.

“Hey, hey it’s just me. It’s alright”

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know who else to call,” he was crying, with the tears streaming down his cheeks, his eyes looked small and they looked red from the lack of sleep and of tears.

“It’s alright, Harry. Just come here, it’ll be alright,” you pull him towards yourself him and he buries his face into your chest and you held him, stroking his hair and telling him it will be alright.

“That’s it. Let it out, Harry. It’s okay to cry”

You both stayed like that for another 15 minutes. He couldn’t stop crying and you knew he needed that. He had been holding everything in for so long and it just came out like an explosion tonight. You wiped his tears and made him meditate for a few minutes.

He fell asleep and you stayed up all night, looking at him. He looked so innocent while he slept, and cute too, you thought hiding a blush, even though nobody was there to look at you.

That night, Harry finally felt at peace. He was finally able to sleep. He had no nightmares, just a peaceful dream. He saw his girlfriend, running away from him in a white dress with her hair flowing in the wind.

Please don’t leave me, darling. I love you.

I know you do Harry, but you must let me go. I will always be with you. I will always love you. It is time you start caring about yourself, you must let me go. It is time.

No! don’t leave me!

And he woke up. Something about this dream told him that she was right. It was time. He was finally ready to let her go. For both of their sakes.

He went down to find you sleeping on the couch. He was hesitant at his thoughts but deep down he knew he was falling for you. Am I just using her to cope with my loss? Or do I really love her?

You opened your eyes, looking at Harry sitting on the ground, pushing a strand of hair away from your face.

“Good morning, how did you sleep?”

“Better. Really really better. I- I don’t know how to thank you, y/n and I’m so sorry”

“Hey it’s alright, and I’m glad I could help,” you smile. “I should go now, I have to get to work”

“Let me make breakfast and let me drive you to your house”

“Oh no it’s okay I can-”

“I owe this much to you, y/n. Let me”

“Okay”

-----------------

It wasn’t until another week when Harry had his next session. You had been thinking about him all the time, you were confused, it wasn’t supposed to go this way. But he….who am I kidding I’m in love with him.

When he walked through the door on a Thursday morning next week, he looked healthy and happier than ever. You felt a sense of happiness yourself, therapy is always beneficial to both the patient and the therapist. Every person is a deep universe, their thoughts, experiences, pain, joy, everything. Empathising with clients is a great learning experience, it becomes a part your personality. It becomes a part of you.

“Hey y/n”

“Hi Harry”

“So my week as been as it’s always and I’ve been feeling a lot better ever since that day…and that dream” he had told you about the dream he had the night you watched him sleep. He seemed to completely change after that, he let go of the intense emotions he had been carrying around.

“That’s very good and you’ve made a lot of progress since our first meeting”

“Yeah…I have”

The session went on as usual, he talked about everything that happened, he started fighting with his brothers again, which he hadn’t done in a long time and even though they were pissed off at him, they were happy to have him back.

“Um Harry,” you say at the end of the session. “I think-” you try to choose your words correctly. “I think it’s about time you start seeing another therapist, yeah?”

You see his face drop. “wh-why? I’m doing so much better, is..is it because of that night? I’m so sorry y/n”

“No it’s not that. You and I both know what’s happening between us, it’s wrong for a therapist to get emotionally attached with her patient. I’m sorry, Harry”

“So you’re saying that you’re becoming emotionally attached with me?”

“I..I’m-“

“It’s alright. I understand y/n”

“Yes, thank you. This has been great”

“So… now that you’re not my therapist, can I meet you for coffee this evening?”

“Harry-“

“Half an hour, Dr y/l/n. Just give me half an hour of your time, if you still feel the same way, I’ll never bother you again”

“Uh-" you hesitate. You knew you should have said no. You were going to say no. Yet the words which came out of your mouth were “Okay then, it’s a date”

--------------

Taglist:

@mischiefmanaged011 @notsosmexy @perspectiveparker @justanothermarvelmaniac @amorhollands @thisetaernallove @halfblood-princess-505 @spidey-reids-2003 @peterspideysstuff @musicalkeys @theliterarymess @ilarbu @hollands-weasley @tombob2005 @tommysparker @god-knows-what-am-i-doing @parkerpeter24 @more-like-reyna @hollandbroz-n-haz @aqiise

#harry holland #harry holland x reader #harry holland imagine #harry holland angst #harry+holland+x+y/n #harry holland x therapist! reader #harry holland fluff #harry holland fic #harry holland one shot #therapist! reader

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themousefromfantasyland · 3 years

Text

The Yule Man (3/7)

As told by ME

This was meant to be a short story, but it became too big, so I separated it in seven parts. I want to turn my blog in a space where I can share my writting every once and a while.

This is the first time I post one of my stories on a public space. This is the first time anyone besides my sister will be able to read, so I'm pretty exciting and anxious. I want honest criticism. I hope you all enjoy it.

In the next year, Chris opened his bag earlier, near the old bridge. News came that the Yule Man had already arrived in Arnsberg. Mia stepped into her carriage and ordered the coachman to lead her to him.

She found him sitting in a wooden bench next to the clocktower. He hadn't changed a thing. The same dirty clothes. The same enormous fur coat. The same shaggy red beard. The same tender boyish face.

His whole mood lighted up pretty quick as soon as he caught her in his sight. She waved to him, and not containing himself with excitement, he waved back to her.

They stopped the carriage near him, and she opened the door to him.

He grinned with all the mischievousness of a boy:

"You changed."

She nudged his shoulder.

"It passed only a year. How can I have changed?" She played with his beard.

"Everyone always changes." He spoke.

During the course to the Hayek Mansion, everything felt different. The coachman looked tired and in a bad state of mind. Even Mia herself seamed exhausted, yet they tried their best to stay the same. The way to Hayek home had changed too. Less trees, more buildings, the town expanded itself again.

"How is your father?"

The coachman looked behind his shoulder.

She grew quiet. Chris would not dare to ask more questions; he knew that feeling all too well.

At the Hayek Mansion things continued to change. The Yule Log had been launched in the fireplace far later than it should. The decorations this year looked poorer and simpler, as if something had sucked all joy and life out of them. The living room was a shell of what it once was. No Yule Goats this year. Silver bells now accompanied the typical decks of holly hanged by the walls. He saw statues of the Silver God near the Yule Tree in the living room.

"I didn't know you were religious." Chris said surprised.

Mrs. Hayek stormed in the room.

Mia expressed defeat.

"Oh, you brought him again." She said with more resentment in her voice than usual. "Without telling me anything."

Mia closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Mother, please..."

"Oh, shut up." She snarled. "I believe we already ran out of things to say to each other."

There was only one table this year, set more by a sense of duty than by any real intent. Less charm, less sweets, less delights. The feeling in the house was way different. The Yule Festival now felt more like an accessory, a decoration, than anything real.

The Solstice Eve ball felt different too, less guests, less presents, and less joy. A sense of uneasy filled the air, with the townspeople unsure if they were welcome there. St. Nicholas was now exactly as how the holiday cards portrayed him.

The gigantic Yule Tree has disappeared this year. Along with many Yule things, it had been brought along with Mr. Hayek when he went to his final destination.

Mia stood in a corner, trying to stay out of sight, what Chris thought as a shame. She dressed even more beautiful than in the last year. She wore a sleeveless ivy-green gown with a bright red sash around her waist.

He went to talk with her, still carrying a plate full of cookies and other sweets, all those he could find.

"Are you alright? Can I do something to help?" He asked with a deep fear of invading someone else's business. He tested the ground to know if it was safe to step on it.

She saw how he carried the plate.

"Thanks."

She picked one. He released a quick nervous laughter.

"Oh, they were not for you... "

She gave him a judgmental stare.

"I mean, you can get them if you..."

She laughed.

"I missed you, silly." She hugged him and rested her face on his shoulder.

"What happened here?" He asked.

"My relationship with my mother is worse than ever." She placed a huge emphasis on the word "ever".

Mrs. Hayek approached them with as kindness as it was possible from her.

"Mia, I wanted to talk with you." She began saying by putting her best "mother voice". "Remember Mr. Evans. Well, he has a son your age. He has been having troubles finding a bride for his son. I agreed to talk about marriage proposals tomorrow. The old man is unsure with you as a good bride for his soon, so I want you to go there..."

Mia had enough. That was the final stroke that broke the camel's back.

"Mother, I'm sorry, but no!"

"What?"

Mrs. Hayek had trouble digesting that word. "No" wasn't a term she was familiarized with.

"I thought the problem was you not getting any suitors."

Mia tried her best to be diplomatic on that moment.

"Mother, I'm very thankful for what you're doing, but I'm not want to be married. Not like that."

"So, what do you want Mia." She raised her voice.

Everyone stopped and stared at them. Chris saw the sparks starting to fly between the two.

"The money of your father will not last forever. I'm trying my best to hold this family together, but you're refusing to help."

Mia kept her best poker face.

"His partners are almost taking over the company. We are almost losing our income." She continued.

Mia exhaled.

"Mother, I know, and I don't want to bring you any more trouble, but please..."

"You have been useless." She yelled.

Mia raised her voice.

"You can say that to my face."

"I can't?" She smiled with disdain. "At your age I was already married, because that's why women of our class do, we help our family." She paused to breathe. "I didn't like your father at first, he was very older than me, but this is real life." She lowered her tone. "We don't have much time."

Mia shouted back.

"What do you know about love?"

Not even Chris recognized her when she said that. She got careless. Mia spilled a kind of bitterness that she didn't know she had. Whatever that thing was, it came from way within her.

"A gold-digging shrew. Nothing is never good enough. Not even my father was good enough. You only married him because of his money. You yourself told how the fact he been black turned you off at first."

By the look of Mrs. Hayek’s expression, it was as if she had been hit in the face. A sure slap that hurt nothing more than her ego.

"I want you out." She went straight to kill.

Mrs. Hayek stopped looking into her daughter's face.

"Mother, please." Mia tried to fix the whole situation, to salvage their relationship. Mia implored for all reason she hoped still lasted in her.

Everyone continued watching.

"I will not send you away because it would be a sin against my god. You can spend Yule with us, but after that I want you out." Her mother growled

She walked away. Mia tried to reach her.

"Mother."

She immediately shot her down.

"You father already left half of his inheritance to you. This house is mine and from your siblings. It's ours."

"What is happening here" Sophia asked, followed close by her brothers.

"Nothing." Mrs. Hayek smiled as perfectly as a china doll.

Mia rushed back inside. Chris followed her.

In her anger she threw a the statue of the Silver God over the stairs and broke down in tears. She sat upon the staircase and kept crying. When Chris entered the room, she made sure to wipe her tears away. Too late.

"Father loved the Yule Festival. Mother not so much." She started. "He never liked the Church. He always told how the church appropriate the Winter Solstice festival to themselves. How they plastered their stupid god everywhere to make the holiday theirs."

She smiled, trying her hardest to lighten the mood. "Now that he's gone, mother did the same, and things are worse than ever." She hid her face in her hands.

Chris stepped up the stairs and sat by her side, remaining quiet.

"You don't know what to say!"

He nodded in shame. She gave him a half-smile.

"During this year I couldn't stop thinking about you. You never change, you never ages. I wish to be like you sometimes."

"You don't." He broke the silence.

The way he said that surprised her.

"You have an immortal lifetime."

He raised his voice.

"You have a lifetime." His lips trembled "I got only moments."

"You don't die." She was quick to point out.

"What's the point of not dying, if you never lived?" He shook his arms in frustration.

He lowered his head and his tone.

"During most of the year I cease to be, and just to think about it makes me terrified." His lips quivered. He struggled not to spill any tears. "For all the purposes I'm dead. There's no such thing as an afterlife for me. I just disappear. Boom. Nothing."

He failed. He got emotional.

"I wished I could exist. I wish I could form real relationships with people. People remember me the same way their remember a snowy day."

She closed her eyes.

"For how has it been like that."

"For as much as I can remember." He said in deep mournful tone. "I'm part of the landscape, not of the people who go through it."

"Father was the only one who understood me." She continued.

"My mother raised me to sit still and be pretty. My father raised me to be a tomboy. I'm scared. I'm a woman now, and I don't have talents or skills. I don't know what to do now, where to go. I just don't want to be like my mother. My mother comes from those types who married earlier and with much older men. I don't want to be like her."

She caught him gazing at her with care.

"You don't need to be"

She pulled his hands.

"You either."

She continued.

"Let's live the moment, here and now. As my mother said, we don't have much time."

"I really want that, but..."

"Why are you always so afraid?" She shook her head.

He stayed quiet for a couple of seconds.

"The North Wind, for as far as I remember has been one of few things that acknowledges me. He doesn't like that I'm too close to mortals. He can't punish me. He isn't my boss. But he cares, really cares. He fears for me."

Mia drew his hands to her lap.

"Promise me you won't be afraid anymore. You can be yourself. I will not punish you. I will not run away."

He smirked.

"But you have to promise me you will try to write. You told me you wanted to be a writer last year.

She raised up.

"Were you really listening?"

He got up near her.

"It's one of the few things I can do in this world." He continued. "I want to see if you are good on that. I don't change, but I think I can change you."

He realized how that sentence could be interpreted. "I mean, I don't want you to change, I mean..."

She took off his fur hood and kissed his cheek, and for a moment the whole world changed for him.

#christmas #holiday season #yuletide #my writting #writters on tumblr #my story #The Yule Man

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jackcinephile · 4 years

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L'Inferno (1911) Movie Review!

As promised, we're gonna be celebrating this Spooky Season with a Devilman Crybaby headcanon! In order to fully express my HC, I will be reviewing icons of horror cinema and literature that helped contribute to many of the themes and ideas that are prevalent in Go Nagai's original manga. So, without further ado, let us descend into the Blind World. Put all fear and cowardice aside. I will be your guide through this eternal place, where you shall hear the shrieks and see the tormented spirits who all bewail the second death.

And how appropriate? Because our first film is the 1911 adaptation of The Inferno by Dante Alighieri. I suppose it's only right to begin this saga of horror films with one of the first horror films ever made. Okay, "first horror film" is actually debatable, so keep in mind that I said "ONE of the first." In any case, it remains one of the most important landmarks in horror cinema.

"Stopped, in the middle of what we call life,

I looked up and saw no sky, but rather a dense cage of leaf and tree and twig,

For I was lost."

The film opens as the iconic poem does. Dante Alighieri is a middle-aged man who finds himself lost in a dark, gloomy forest. This opening of the story always had a way of making me feel somewhat lonely and isolated. In my interpretation, I always saw this forest as being symbolic of how Dante felt after the death of Beatrice. Allow me to explain...

For those who don't know, Dante met a young girl named Beatrice when they were both nine years old. The young boy immediately fell in love with her, even though they hardly interacted. Despite their lives continuing in separate directions, Beatrice had always and forever held a special place in Dante's heart. When he received word that she had died, Dante was absolutely devastated. He felt that she deserved to be immortalized in what he intended to be his magnum opus; The Divine Comedy.

I believe that this opening to the Inferno is actually Dante going to a journey to find Beatrice so that he could say goodbye to her. Along the way, he got lost, both literally and spiritually. That, in my opinion, is what this forest symbolizes. In many ways, this opening kind of reminds of the opening to Silent Hill 2, just from how dismal it is.

Having said all that, I think the film does a very poor job of conveying those emotions. Sadly, I just don't feel any of the despair that was present in the original poem. He just wanders around for a few seconds, then steps out into a clearing. But don't worry! As soon as Dante steps into the clearing, the film IMMEDIATELY gets better. Upon entering this clearing, Dante finds himself at the base of, what I believe to be, Mount Purgatory. I can only assume that's where he is, because the gates of Hell are at its base, and Dante seems to suggest the gates of heaven are at its summit, just like Purgatory. Unfortunately, his path is blocked by three ravenous beasts: a leopard, a lion, and a she-wolf, all representing different Earthly sins. He runs back the way he came, before being rescued by a strange apparition. It's here that the film begins to remind us all of why the original poem is regarded as a self-insert fanfic...

Upon introducing himself to the apparition, Dante learns that it is the actually the ghost of Virgil, author of the Aeneid. The significance of Virgil being in the story is that he was Dante's favorite poet of all time, and Dante always longed to meet and interact with him. It's literally a self-insert fanfic of Dante meeting and interacting with all of his inspirations. It's honestly a mystery to me why I love The Inferno so much, because it's everything I hate! It's a Catholic's fanfic about why he sees himself and his friends as morally superior and why everyone he ever disagreed with is going to Hell. Somehow, in spite of all that, I still love it.

So why did Virgil even decide to help Dante in the first place? Well, remember when I talked about Beatrice dying? It turns out, she descended from Heaven into Hell to ask him for help, because she knew how important he was to Dante. She tasked Virgil with being Dante's guide, after seeing that he has gone astray.

This is where the film's innovation starts to take shape. Beatrice has often been drawn as having a halo around her head. The problem is, how do you show that in a film made in 1911? The effect was strikingly realized with, what I assume to be, spinning rods covered in reflective material. I can only guess this is how it was done, but it appears right to me, because that's how a similar effect was created for the lightsabers in the original Star Wars. It looks like the rods were placed behind the actress, so that the rig couldn't be seen, making it appear as if the light was emanating from her head. This scene also displays an early appearance of wire work on film. In those days, that shit wasn't easy. It was even harder to hide the effect, which this film does fairly well.

So, Virgil explains to Dante that he must take him on a pilgrimage through the three different stages of the afterlife. To be perfectly honest, I never understood why. Maybe I'm just an idiot with little to no reading comprehension. It's also a factor that I haven't read parts II and III of the Divine Comedy, so maybe it's elaborated better in there. From what I gathered, since Dante is going on a journey to find the literal Stairway to Heaven (Led Zeppelin intensifies) Virgil needs to take him to Hell and Purgatory, so he can face his sins and better appreciate Paradise. And thus, Virgil's pilgrimage to lead Dante through the Afterlife begins!

"Through me, the way to the City of Woe

Through me, the way to everlasting pain

Through me, the way among the people lost

Divine Power made me

Eternal I endure

Abandon Hope, all ye who enter here"

That is the inscription above the Gates of Hell. It is here, that Dante is already planning on turning back. Virgil literally tells him to stop being a pussy, and I was satisfied. Once they enter the gates, it becomes apparent to the viewer, if it hasn't already, that this isn't just an adaptation of Dante's work. This film is actually a cinematic translation of the ICONIC illustrations by Gustave Dore that were created in the middle of the 19th century. So much care and detail was put into recreating his AMAZING artwork, that many consider to be his magnum opus. This film was basically the Zack Snyder's Watchmen of its day!

Those familiar with the story will recognize this iconic scene that is being recreated onscreen. Dante and Virgil have come to the shores of Acharon, where the souls of the damned board Charon's vessel to be taken before Judge Minos, who lives in Limbo.

Speaking of Limbo, that is the first spiral of Hell Dante visits. This is where good people who weren't Christians come to face eternity. Their punishment is meant to be the denial of Paradise, but if you ask me, it doesn't seem so bad. Apparently Dante felt the same way, because this is where he meets his other great inspirations, such as Homer and Ovid! The poets all enjoy their visit together before Virgil must take Dante on his way. This is honestly the part that makes me cringe the most. Nothing reeks of self-insert fanfic more than meeting your idols and being greatly respected by all them. This is exactly why I abandoned my Silent Hill fanfic.

Anyway, Minos's throne lies at the lower boarder of Limbo. The king himself appears as a giant naked bearded man with a snake tail. The tail is used to determine the punishment of sinners by wrapping around Minos's own neck multiple times. However many times the tail coils determines which spiral the sinner is sent to.

And here we get to my favorite scene in the whole film: Lust! This spiral perfectly displays the true innovation of special effects. In this spiral, sinners are punished by being caught in a tumultuous whirlwind. The wind symbolizes the tumultuous feelings that arise between lustful lovers. It's one of Dore's best illustrations, and it blows my mind that the filmmakers were able to recreate it so well!

Our two pilgrims move onward to the Spiral of Gluttony, where we come across Cerberus. He guards this spiral, but Virgil subdues him by throwing a clump of dirt in his face (still more respectful than Lore Olympus). Honestly, Gluttony is nothing to write home about. It's just a raining landscape with people laying in the mud. Still, I have to give credit for the meticulous recreation of Dore's art!

Down in Greed, who else do we find guarding this spiral, other than Plutus?

SIDE NOTE: I've read a very strange "translation" of his dialogue. The original line reads, "Pape Satan, Pape Satan, allepe!" Strangely, no one seems to agree on what exactly this means, so most translations are different. Particularly, in the case of Douglas Neff, he translates "Pape" to "Papa," which is strange because "Pape" means "Pope" in Itialian. Then, he changes "allepe" to "you are my king." Let's also not forget that Plutus was also occasionally used as an epithet for Hades and/or Pluto. This means Douglas Neff literally wrote Hades to say, "Daddy Satan, I worship you" (still more respectful than Lore Olympus)!

In the Spiral of Greed, the sinners are forced push heavy sacks of gold around for eternity. Once again, this scene is nothing special, but still an admirable recreation of the illustrations that inspired it.

The next scene, however, shows off more of the innovative talent that makes this film so amazing! Virgil and Dante move on to the Spiral of Anger, where the sinners are punished by being submerged in the black sludge of the River Styx. The only way across is by boat. This is where Phlegyas comes in. The two poets stand by a giant tower which they use to signal for passage to the City of Dis. Along the way, the boat is stopped by Dante's political and intellectual rival, Philipo Argenti. It's here that one realizes just how petty Dante truly was. "Oh, I disagree with you politically. Therefore, you deserve to drown in sludge for all eternity!" He sounds like people I used to know. Hell, he sounds like me in high school!

All while this is going on, we see an amazing special effect of a double exposure of Dis in the background. It's an amazing miniature of the city's outer wall, optically printed to take up the entire top half of the screen.

Finally, they make it to the other side of the river, where we actually get a cameo by Hades' and Persephone's children! No, not Zagareus, Makaria, and Melinoe. None of those people were Hades' and Persephone's children. I'm actually referring to the Erinyes (also known as, the Furies). They block Dante's entrance to the city's gates, so Virgil calls upon the aid of an Archangel to rid them of the Furies. It is here that Dante asserts the superiority of Christianity over the Hellenistic faith (still more respectful than Lore Olympus).

Within the City of Dis, Hell begins to look more like how we always imagined, with fire and brimstone. In the Spiral of Heresy, sinners are stuffed into eternally burning ovens embedded in the ground.

Beyond that is the only omitted sequence from the poem. In the original Divine Comedy, the Spiral of Violence is originally guarded by the Minotaur! Beyond that are sinners, stewed in a boiling river of blood (The Phlegethon). On the banks, we see a heard of Centaurs practicing their archery on them. These are the individuals who were violent towards other people. In order to cross the river of blood, Dante and Virgil must ride on the back of one of the centaurs. You know, having heard of centaurs' notorious reputation for being horrible rapists, it makes me concerned for the sake of our Pilgrims. Maybe they didn't include this in the film because they couldn't figure out how to make a centaur?

On the other side of the Phlegethon, Violence continues into the suicide forest (*Logan Paul reference here*). Here is where sinners, who were violent against themselves, are punished. Once judged to this spiral, they grow into trees. The symbolism being that trees are a symbol of life, of which these sinners have deprived themselves. I'm surprised this scene isn't more controversial. After all, seeing as how seriously mental health has been taken recently, it's fucking awful to tell someone they're going to Hell for committing suicide! As a peice of horrific imagery, I love this scene, but knowing that Dante actually believed this makes me despise it.

In addition to being a horrifying concept, this scene also includes one of the first instances of bloodshed in a horror film. Virgil explains to Dante that he can speak with the sinners if he breaks one of their branches. When he does, blood sprays out of the tree like a drinking fountain!

After a brief conversation with the sinners, Dante moves on to the final section of violence, where people were violent against God. Here the sinners are punished in a desert that perpetually rains fire.

Now, not every special effect in this film is good. Because when Dante rides down to the eighth spiral on Geryon's back, it is such a stiff, unnatural, badly puppeteered marrianet that they couldn't even keep stable for the shot!

"There is a place in Hell called the Malebolge..."

Now, we get to my favorite part of the whole poem: The Spiral of Fraud. Here the deceivers are punished in a myriad of ways, depending on how they lied to others.

In the first Spiral of the Malebolge, those who pander towards others are mercilessly whipped for all eternity. This marks the first appearance of the classic image of the winged demons that we all know and love.

In the second spiral, the flattererers bathe in a stagnant pond of their own feces and vomit. This symbolizes the value of the words that they spew at other people. I think this might be where the expression, "You're full of shit," came from. Think about it; you say that to people whom you think are lying to you, and this is in the Spiral of Fraud.

Incidentally, this punishment was referenced in a Turkish horror film called Baskin -- a film about a small group of off-duty police officers who crash their car and wake up in Hell. In that film, the main characters realize they're in Hell when they find demon raping someone, while shoving her face in a bowl of her own face and vomit. Baskin is not a part of this HC, so I'll have to talk about it later. For now, I'll just say it's one of the best horror films I've ever seen!

In the third spiral, those who joined the Catholic Church for their own personal gain are buried head first, with their feet sticking out in the air.

In the fourth spiral, fortune tellers have their heads turned backwards. This prevents them from looking forward, symbolizing their attempts to see into the future.

In the fifth spiral, the sinners are repeatedly dipped in boiling tar. This scene is especially interesting because it shows that the demons we see aren't actually monsters. They're just creatures doing their jobs, punishing sinners. In fact one of the demons named Malecoda assigns a group of demons to help escort Dante and Virgil through the rest of the Malebolge. That, unfortunately, doesn't work out, however, because the demons are distracted by a sinner trying to escape, so Dante and Virgil move on alone. What's also unfortunate, is that other demons, who assume that Virgil and Dante are also sinners trying to escape, chase them into the next spiral. Luckily, each demon is confined to their own spiral, so they can't keep chasing them.

In the sixth spiral, the hypocrites are forced to wear robes made of solid gold. They also find Caiaphas nailed to the ground. As someone who has Jesus Christ Superstar on his top three list of favorite albums, I was happy to see Caiaphas get referenced.

In the seventh spiral, the thieves are bound by snakes, whose venom causes them to burn to ashes. One thief in particular gets attacked by a giant lizard that makes him into a lizardman (someone tell Alex Jones).

In the eighth spiral, the false advisors are eternally engulfed in flames.

In the ninth spiral, the sowers of discord are viciously mutilated. My favorite part about this scene is that it's one of the first instances of gore in a horror movie. The prophet Muhammad has been cloven from his belly to his throat with his guts spilling out all over the place. That's right! Muhammad is depicted in the Inferno. Not only that, but Gustave Dore drew him. Damn. Dante has no chill. Hey, the founder of the most homophobic religion in the world rots in eternal Hell? I'm not complaining! This kinda makes up for the portrayal of suicide victims.

In the tenth spiral, the falsifiers are punished with enternal leprosy.

At last, we make it to the Spiral of Treachery, at the center of the earth. Here, the traitors are frozen within the Lake Cocytus.

"Lo! Dis Himself!

Emperor of the Kingdom of Woe"

Finally, at the climax of this horrific epic, we see Satan, and it's not what you're expecting! He is in the very center of the lake, frozen up to his waist in ice, and forced to eat the three greatest traitors of all. His body is covered in course fur, and he has three heads and six wings. Satan's appearance in this story is disarming and almost pathetic in a way. You'd imagine Satan to be this fearsome king, but he's just shown to be suffering like everyone else. It's kind of sad, really.

The film ends with Dante and Virgil climbing down Satan's leg fur and ending up at the base of Mount Purgatory.

L'Inferno is one of the first true masterpieces of horror! It's hard to believe that this movie is almost 110 years old! Just think of how it would have been to see it in theaters for the first time when it was new. We owe it to this film for proving the language of Cinema could be used to tell the most epic stories possibly conceived.

You can watch the film for yourself here:https://youtu.be/cMUPbPOGPdM

youtube

Now, you're probably thinking, "What the Sam Fuck does any of this have to do with Devilman Crybaby?" Well, for starters, in Go Nagai's original manga, the character Asuka Ryo implies that Dante's Divine Comedy might have been based on a true story. This is futher validated when the demon Xenon appears and bears a strong resemblance to Dante's description of Satan. But beyond the surface-level details, let's discuss some of the deeper implications of what Hell actually is. Within this headcanon, the Afterlife is an entirely separate dimension, occupying the same space as our Earth, but invisible to our eyes. There is a way, however, to see and explore this separate dimension. You see, when different dimensions intersect at certain angles, they sometimes leave gaps through which we can come through and cross over to the other dimension. It was through one of these gaps that Virgil was able to find Dante. These angles and gaps between dimensions will be further explored in a later film.

#dante's inferno #dante's divine comedy #l'inferno #devilman crybaby #devilman crybaby headcanon #Youtube

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