#immature parents
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#toxic parents#emotional abuse#accountability#narcissism#therapy#aftermath#maternal narcissism#immature parents#emotionally unavailable#lack of empathy#parental neglect#child neglect#emotional neglect#emotional needs#enablers#abuse apologism#invalidation
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"How is your dad immature? He's 52, theres no way he cant take something seriously."
Fine. Here is a list of things he's made fun of that are serious
My: tics, occasional stutter, situational speaking, anger issues, mental health, physical health and "irrational" fears.
#immature parents#emotionally immature parents#tourettes#situational mutism#anger issues#mental health#physical health#irrational fears
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To heal you need to let go of your parent's opinions. Destroy the inner voice built around them. They're wrong about so many things, but especially you.
#trauma#childhood#childhood trauma#inner voice#intruisive thoughts#parents#healing#moving on#baby steps#positive thinking#unsupportive parents#bully parents#immature parents
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ok, im just wondering but would my parents when i tell them why i think i may have adhd and they respond with basically "no those arent the symptoms of adhd, you arent hyper" be counted as compentancy-deprivation?
I mean, shutting down your kid's self-assessment with no further inquiry is extremely dismissive, especially if it's about something medical. I'd look into "immature parenting" if this kind of thing happens a lot, especially if your parents are also the kind that expect you to listen to their problems whenever they have them.
It's for sure invalidating, but whether or not this particular instance was an act of competency-deprivation really depends.
If I were to give competency-deprivation a formal definition, I'd say it's "a type of undue influence that uses failure to control a person's thoughts, beliefs, actions, behaviors, affect, and/or emotions."
The whole thing is characterized by an ongoing pattern of transgressions and their outcomes (constantly making you feel inept as a way to change your behavior), rather than by the presence of a single instance alone.
But if your family routinely makes you feel incompetent and stupid, then yeah you have an issue of competency-deprivation on your hands.
(And as a point of interest: This kind of thing isn't limited to neurodivergent people. I see it used against little boys to make them stop liking girl things and discourage them from being gay, for example. It's probably used in other demographics too, but it's always fucking vile.)
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Just silently livid at my parents once again because they sabotage my brother’s life so much when he’s just trying to be independent. I hate them but wish they’d just get more help for all their issues instead of putting their disabled son down time and time again.
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you know you’re fucked when you can relate to romantic/break up songs not in a cute sad yn way but in a tired burned out traumatized parents issues way
oh friend ❤️🩹 I think a lot of us can relate to this
I feel like we need a playlist for this subject...
#asks#trauma from parents#immature parents#adult children of emotionally immature parents#mental health
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Escaping Generational Trauma: Know the Signs
Pic Post by @supstaf on tiktok (not my pics)
TW: informative post on trauma and abuse familial relationships
Generational Trauma has become somewhat of a buzzword in pop psychology, but often the signs and how families tend to trap each other is not discussed. These are some (not all) ways that families may try to keep someone attached to the family and in the cycle of abuse. These actions by the family can be conscious and calculated, but also some may unconsciously act out (because the abusive cycle is all they know and are unaware).
It's important to note that generational Trauma and abuse varies among many family dynamics. Ideologies and cultures are able to influence or enforce these expectations as well.
One of the biggest steps to ending generational trauma is becoming aware of the toxic cycle that you are in or have endured. Here are some beginner books I recommend on the subject.
It Didn’t Start With You: Books For generational trauma Healing and Cycle Breaking by Mark Wolynn
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: Books For Generational Trauma Healing and Cycle Breaking by Lindsay G. Gibson, PsyD
How to Do the Work: Books For Trauma Healing and Cycle Breaking by Dr. Nicole LePra
My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Mending of Our Bodies and Hearts by Resmaa Menakem
The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity by Nadine Burke Harris, M.D
Whoever resonates with this I hope you know that you are not alone and that you can heal from this, even if it feels impossible. Know healing is a process and it's not linear. Hope this information is helpful and can equip you with tools and knowledge of how to heal.
#mentalhealth#generational trauma#healing#family#toxic family#childhood adversity#immature parents#growth#depression#trauma#anxiety#MSW#SW
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You ever look at a healthy 13 year old with a good parental relationship and briefly think they’re developmentally delayed because they actually rely on their parents for support, and then realize you think that way due to the severe trauma you suffered as a parentified child?
Yeah… me neither….
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There’s two types of people: Those who believe your experience of generational trauma and those who gaslight you.
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im curious so (if you want to) if you were raised by an immature adult please reblog
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I haven’t been posting online because honestly things have been going well for me. And I’m immensely grateful for that. But the past few days have been absolutely absurd.
Last month my mother booked plane tickets for me and my husband to come visit her and my brother to celebrate the holidays. The night before our flight departed I received a text that we had been delayed. I called her to let her know what was going on and to update her of our itinerary. In this conversation she discovered that my husband and I were not traveling with checked bags. (For context, she lives in a ski town) she had previously thought we were bringing our ski equipment, but my husband and I decided against it because it would have been an inconvenience for us, we were only going to be in town for a few days and hauling our gear didn’t seem worth it. After finding out we didn’t have our ski gear she began yelling at me over the phone. Just blowing up about how stupid we must be and why would she fly us out if we weren’t planning on skiing. (My husband and I care about just spending time around my family regardless if on snow or not).
I communicated with her that I did not want to be yelled at, patronized, talked down to etc. She continued to grow more agitated and lashing out saying some pretty terrible things. Becoming so nasty i feel comfortable calling it verbal and emotional abuse. She’s projecting onto me, thinking she can do no wrong and I’m the cause of all this. All I want to communicate is I don’t want to be treated poorly (and I admit I fired my own shots) she cannot comprehend my perspective, she feels I have disrespected and betrayed her bc I didn’t bring my skis. It’s so silly to me. I try and tell her how I’m feeling and share my position, she tries to turn me against my husband, she tells me I don’t know what I’m feeling, she gaslights me, she attempts to manipulate me, etc. It’s terrible, It’s been going on for hours, I’m in tears by the time my husband and I actually arrive at our destination. Not to mention we also had a layover and had to take a bus bc she abandoned us at the airport.
This morning she comes over to the family condo unannounced and I’m like I can’t just act like everything is fine. You’ve been so terrible to me and I don’t deserve that. I tell her everything again, I read out oud the messages she’s sent over the past 24 hours. She’s unable to take responsibility. She cant barely give a genuine apology. And I’m the one she blames, I am so hurt, so heartbroken. I see her now, perhaps I have been dealing with this for longer than I remember, it’s unfair, I’m angry. She genuinely believes that I’m at fault. That’s I’m selfish, that I aim to hurt her. All because I prefer to travel light. That I don’t care where we are but I just care about being with my family. And I’ve tried to communicate this, but she has put her pride above her family. She has prioritized feeling angry about over our decision instead of being grateful we’re just here.
I’m terribly sorry, I am sick. Unfortunately my brother has been dealing with this for a few years, we are with him now. I wanted a nice vacation, and instead I’m turned into a monster bc I didn’t want to inconvenience myself. She could have communicated that we should bring our skis. And things would have been different
I believe she is emotionally immature. If you have read to the bottom I thank you. I feel I can no longer continue, but I may rant more later. If you are able to offer any support or advice I would appreciate it. We’ll see how things continue to develop over the weekend…
#parental abuse#emotionally immature parents#immature parents#depression#mental health#anxitey#emotional abuse#psychological abuse#psychological health#psychological warfare#psychological trauma#psychological stress#projecting#gaslightingawareness#female manipulator#manipulation#gaslightingisabuse#gaslighting#is this gaslighting?
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After everything... why am I still so sad and angry?
I wanted to be more than this. I just feel disappointment.
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sometimes I remember that my parents had told me and my brother growing up that we had tails. Like we were born with tails like the super saiyans from dbz and they kept it up for years. and I believed them well into my teen years and I can never tell if that like… is a sign of bad parenting, or if i took things WAY to literally
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I hate them
I AM FUCKING ME OK
NOT YOU
MY ROOM HAVING FOUR PIECES OF FUCKING CLOTHES ON IT IS NOT REASON FOR YOU TO ACTIVELY FORCE YOUR FUCKING DAUGHTER (WHO YOU REFUSE TO EVEN CALL SUCH) EITHER SLEEP ON A BROKEN BED OR GET BARELY ENOUGH FUCKING SLEEP
AND WHY DO YOU EVEN GODDAMN CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF ME, YOU SPENT YEARS TELLING ME NOT TO CARE SO WHY DOES EVERY LITTLE IMPERFECTION OF MINE HAVE TO BE A SLIGHT AGAINST YOU? IT'S NOT EVEN FUCKING ABOUT YOU!
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I am currently angry and sad about my parents.
I am trying to feel my anger, grief, and helplessness about this current situation: that they continuously dysregulate my disabled younger brother by not letting him stay at his apartment, while he desperately tries to establish independence and a routine, for their own selfish benefit.
I don't know what to do - because ultimately, he must keep making those assertive decisions. I can only step in when it's a danger to his health (like when they stopped giving him access to his medications - those fuckers).
Sigh.
Sitting in this discomfort now while talking to him.
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