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earthtooz · 1 year

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OMG IM FROTHING AT THE MOUTH FOR FAKE PT.2 I LOVED PT 1 SM I LOVE YOU SM EHEHEH

𝐅𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 ─ when the reader receives hate ! pt 1

includes: reo mikage, michael kaiser, isagi yoichi

warnings: gn!reader, they/them prns in kaiser + isagi, 2k+ wc for reo, 1.6k for kaiser and 1k for isagi, ooc!characters, borderline panic attack in reo's, hate and negative comments, happy endings for all, let me know if i'm missing any warnings, bad wriitng LOL

a/n: ask and u shall receive ! bro why is the cover image so low quality i can't be assed to fix it - ANYWAYS ENJOY ANON !!!

MIKAGE REO:

if there’s one thing reo is used to, it’s the amount of eyes constantly surveying his every move. there is not one aspect of his life that hasn’t been intruded by the amount of aristocratic families wondering how he’s doing. reo’s quite fed up with it himself.

but of course, if there’s one thing dating reo mikage entails, it’s having those same eyes scrutinising your every move even harder- a fact you accepted before he asked you to be his. a fact you were starting to get used to.

despite all the glamourised smiles and ambiguous compliments of your relationship, there will always be some who aren’t afraid to voice their opinions.

which, is how you got stuck talking to some ceo’s daughter at a gala you were attending as reo’s plus one.

“i’m not trying to be mean or anything, just honest,” she says with a particular slice of her hands, flaunting her expensive nails and jewellery. “but i don’t think you’re right for reo, and i know i am not the only one who thinks that! don’t you think it’s time you stop hogging him and y’know, return him to those who really deserve him?”

something disgusting churns within you at the way she talks of your boyfriend, as if he were some goal; a fish in a sea of hungry fishermen. the statement makes you feel violated, you can’t imagine how reo would feel being talked about like this for his entire life.

“and who might that be?” you counter, trying your best to remain calm and not give in to the storm within you.

she flares her nostrils, narrowing her perfectly painted eyes. “look around. take a good glance at the competition.”

“i won’t do that because there is no competition. reo chose me, whether you like it or not,” you firmly place your drink down on the table beside you before pointedly showing her the beautiful promise ring, encrusted with diamonds that reo himself placed on your finger. “besides, if there even was a competition in the first place, i’m afraid you’re all much too late.”

with a final sneer, she turns around with a pointed flick of her healthy, smooth hair before walking away, classy and expensive as ever.

just like everyone around you.

you, on the other hand, find it hard to breathe, and the luxurious fabric of your even more luxurious outfit is clinging to your body. before you even know it, you’re making a run for the exit, slipping past crowds of people and ignoring their looks of curiosity.

no one would bother to look too long anyways.

you should be proud of how you managed to remain level-headed during that interaction, but you can’t help but give in to her manipulative tactics. you did take a good look of the competition and they all looked like millions upon millions of dollars. they have had their life plan sorted from the very moment of their birth, their destiny handed to them of a silver platter, and although you know to look beyond the materialism and gold, it’s hard to ignore it when you’re surrounded by marble walls and crystal chandeliers.

suddenly feeling like an imposter, you just want to hop in a cab and go home.

bolting through expansive halls with decorative arches and doors to match, you’re almost at the parking lot where the chauffeurs awaited, just a flight of stairs await your descent.

it’s not until a hand catches your wrist that you stop.

turning around, you find no comfort in the familiarity of reo’s face which was laced with concern and worry. he’s panting, a thin layer of sweat coating his skin, and his hair was all over his face. was he chasing after you?

“y/n! where are you going?” the purple-haired asks, eyebrows furrowing even more as he notices the distressed state you’re in. he grabs both your hands, manoeuvring you to look him square in the eyes. except, it’s so difficult, you’re looking everywhere but at him. “i was calling your name the entire time, did you not hear me?”

“reo, please, leave me alone,” you request with a shaky voice, trying to get out of his grip with no success.

“i can’t, not when you’re like this,” he protests, “deep breaths, y/n, come back to me.”

a few moments of silence pass by, allowing you to return to your senses as reo holds your hands against his heart, stroking your skin with his thumb. no longer overwhelmed and suffocated by your thoughts, it’s hard to look your boyfriend in the eye, cowering away from his gaze.

“what’s the matter?” he asks gently, pressing a hand against your cheek delicately. it’s warm. you want to melt into him.

“it’s- i, i had a really- you know what, nevermind,” you murmur, shaking your head, turning your back against reo as you pull your hands away from his.

you miss the expression of heartbreak that appears on his pretty face.

your cold actions don’t deter him. instead, it makes him more determined to stay by your side, chasing after you even as you descend down the stairs. since your shoes were a lot more complicated than his, the soccer player catches up to you quickly to guide you by the small of your back as he mirrors your pace.

“i want to go home,” you mutter to him once you’re on the ground, trying your best not to collapse under the gaze of so many, surrounded by butlers and chauffeurs.

he nods with a gentle gaze. “let’s go home then.”

his kindness is not enough to shield you from the scrutiny that bears into you. “no, reo, you should stay, i’ll just catch a taxi home or something.”

he looks at you in pure astonishment, slightly taken back by your weird attitude.

“but i don’t want to. why would i want to stay if you’re not?” asks the purple-haired.

opting to remain silent rather than answer, you try to walk towards the main road of the highway, only to be cut off by reo shoving himself in front of you.

“and why would i let you take a cab home?” your purple-haired lover questions, placing both of his hands on his cheeks so you can finally look him in the eye. “y/n, what’s going on? something happened, didn’t it?”

taking both of his hands away from your face, you take a step away; once again missing the look of astonishment and heartbreak that appears on reo’s face. “nothing happened,” you say stubbornly, rubbing your hands against your arms.

“i don’t want to go home if you’re like this, can we please just talk for a little?” he remains behind you, getting the hint that you don’t want to be provoked or touched in any way, even if it’s killing him. the soccer player’s fingers itch with the need to embrace and trace every part of you that you’ll allow, but, for the sake of your fragile state, he doesn’t.

with a small exhale, you agree. it would be unfair for you to leave reo in the dark, continually brushing off his genuine kindness due to some chick that got in your head.

he leads you towards the gardens nearby which were dimly lit, yet still very beautiful. spring was in full season, so you could only catch glimpses of the beautiful flora that aligned the path, but there was no denying that it was still breathtaking. reo walks beside you, synchronising his footsteps with yours.

eventually, you arrive at a fountain in the middle of the garden. where you take a seat on its marble ledge, reo whispers ‘one second’ to you before running off to the bushes where the red roses were. he returns quickly, jogging back to you with a singular flower in his hands.

“for you, my love,” he declares with a small smile, bowing with an extended hand, expecting you to take his gift.

you readily do, heart warming at his silliness whilst twirling the rose in your fingers. “thank you,” you reply, pressing a kiss to his cheek when he places his hand next to you so he can lean against the fountain for support.

the promise ring you wear on your finger feels heavier than usual, especially when he smiles fondly at you, a lovesick expression on his face that is no doubt mirrored by you.

but looking at him, you can’t help but recall the stinging reality that he lived in a world of glamour, decadence, and allure; only doubled by the fame that came with his life as a pro-soccer player. you love reo with your whole being, really, sometimes you fear that your feelings might be a little too much, but loving him with a materialistic barrier in between is difficult.

the idea of letting him go than stealing him away from the world of mystique feels suddenly a lot kinder.

“reo,” you begin after a few minutes of simply being in each other’s presence. he looks at you with widened eyes and raised eyebrows, directing 100% of his attention towards you. with a deep inhale, you continue.

“do you ever think that… we’re not, meant to be?”

the silence is deafening.

“what do you mean?” he asks with a small stutter of disbelief, “of course we’re meant to be! you’re the one for me- you’re my soulmate!”

usually, when reo says that, it makes your insides gush and flutter, but now it riddles you with guilt and scepticism. “how can you be so sure?”

“y/n,” he sounds so very desperate. reo’s eyes have always been the window to his soul and seeing the way they shine with tears, your chest clenches with an unpleasant feeling. “why are you doubting my love for you?”

his hand goes to your ring finger, playing with the jewellery that you suddenly feel like you don’t deserve.

“you agreed, remember? you agreed to letting me love you forever and loving me in return. i put this ring on you because it’s always going to be you, no matter what circumstance, i’ll always choose you.”

“but is choosing me the right decision?”

“yes, a thousand times yes, there will never be. anyone. but. you.” reo increases the amount of emphasis he puts into each word, now changing his position so that he stood in front of you, caging you with his build. “can you tell me what happened, beautiful? because something clearly did and soured my gorgeous y/n’s mood.”

the sudden onslaught of compliments, mixed with how close reo was, broke down your resolve easily, crumbling at his feet as you gave in to his gentle demands.

“i met an unpleasant someone who told me i should give you up for people who deserve you more,” you whisper, throwing your arms around his neck, a gesture of equal affection and possessiveness.

he hums, seemingly calm but you know better. the furrow of his eyebrows was one of scrutiny and distaste. you’re glad he’s trying to remain subtle, you’ve had enough of emotional responses for one night.

“and who might this unpleasant someone be?”

“i have no idea. she gave me a name but it went in one ear then out the other.”

pressing his face into the junction where your neck and shoulder meet, the soccer player revels at this chance to be close to you.

“it was probably important though,” you reiterate, “and, well, might be able to benefit you a lot better than i ever can.”

he scoffs into your skin, causing you to shiver. “no one’s name is as important as mine, my love, and no one can boost it more than what it’s already worth. if anything, those who have me gets the boost, i’m already the best.”

his (rightfully deserved) cockiness makes you smile ever so slightly as you punch his shoulder. “are you implying i’m a gold digger?”

“well, you didn’t choose me, did you?” asks reo with a raise of his eyebrow. “i begged you to go on a date with me and you only agreed the fourth time i asked.”

the recollection makes a giggle slip past your lips- a sound reo dearly missed as he admires your beauty in the dim lighting of the gardens. he places a fleeting kiss on your neck before looking up at you.

“of course, everyone else won’t know that and assume,” you point out before leaning in towards his lips, unable to resist him much longer.

“who cares?” he mutters against you before melting against you in a gentle kiss filled with love, reassurance, and promises. “they’re all irrelevant anyways, just a bunch of talkers with nothing to back up their words.”

“then what am i?”

“you’re my future. you’re the one that actually cares about me, more than my money or my soccer skills. remember the first day we met and you told me to get out of the way? back in college?”

“well you were blocking my path. i was running late to my class as well.”

reo chuckles, pulling away from you so there was a little distance between your faces. “never thought i’d want someone so bad just because they didn’t know who i was.”

“then show me,” you say with a little challenge in your tone. “screw the gala, take me home, reo.”

“thought you’d never ask.”

MICHAEL KAISER:

“kaiser gets it in! a miracle shot, just what you’d expect from bastard münchen’s genius striker!” the announcer exclaims as the crowd shoots up in excitement, roaring and buzzing with excitement as the members of germany’s football team all swarm around the blond, cheering and celebrating.

kaiser participates in the hype, fist bumping his teammates before running back to position, but not without sparing a look at the screen that was displaying the match. no one misses the kiss he blows in the direction of the camera and although the stadium is filled with squeals (from boys, girls, grown ups and children alike), you know something they don’t.

right before the match, kaiser made you promise that each goal of his equated to ten kisses, a deal that you readily accepted and bumped up to twenty as a way of motivating him to take the game home.

that kiss he blew was just a way of solidifying that he was thinking of you and the wink he sent straight after was just making sure you’d keep your promise.

you can’t help but feel like the luckiest person in the world with him.

as the match progresses, you can tell it’s going to be an easy victory, with all favours towards your lover’s team - kaiser earning another two himself.

it’s almost scary just how effortlessly he dominates, settling the score at 3-1 for bastard münchen, once again making feats you thought were difficult look effortless. as the whistle blew announcing the end of the game, roars fill the stadium once again and you too, jump up with the crowd to cheer as loudly as you can.

repping his jersey with his name on the back, it just feels too good, especially when you bask in the afterglow of a well deserved victory.

you don’t miss the amount of glances kaiser sends your way, antsy to be able to reach you and spend some time with you because he’d rather have you congratulate him than a bunch of old, white men that just want to sponsor him. they can get in line because you’re his top priority.

you hope he sees you and the heart you make with your arms over your head just for him.

dawdling out of the stadium always takes forever because of the amount of people that always come to see his game so when over half the people have cleared out, you make your way down to the front row, where your soccer genius boyfriend was waiting for you.

“you were incredible, my love,” you say as a greeting, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug, one that he readily returns. you don’t really care that he was sweaty, too overwhelmed by how proud of him you were.

not that your opinions really mattered in the grand scheme of things, but kaiser considered it a great lucky charm, one he holds highly.

“as always,” he mutters, pressing a kiss against your cheek. you giggle at the sensation, smiling widely as he continues. “tell me more about how amazing i was.”

rolling your eyes at his arrogance, you decide to indulge him, just a little. “the best out there, greatest soccer player of all time, and you looked so handsome too, my main character,” you pinch his cheek. “done?”

“not at all,” keens kaiser, smiling at you like a cat.

“get your stuff first and then when we’re home, i’m all yours.”

“i’m holding you to your promise, pretty, that’s sixty kisses from you.”

with a final kiss on the forehead as farewell, you bid him goodbye and watch as he runs off to get changed, joining ness who was waiting for him by the exit. the magenta-haired soccer player waves at you from halfway across the field, a gesture you readily return before turning around to go outside.

passing by the security guards who give you a little nod of acknowledgement, you’re relieved to see that the audience that gathered tonight had gone off into their cars, ready to go home for the night.

you’re about to go around to where the players exit so kaiser wouldn’t swarmed by a flurry of fans and reporters, until you’re stopped by a hand on the shoulder. the grip wasn’t strong, but demanding enough for you to turn around and greet whoever wanted to talk to you.

it was a pair of teenage girls. they were well-dressed and pampered, but the look they were giving you was less than friendly. somehow, you already knew where this conversation was going.

“can i help you?” you ask, flashing them a smile.

one of them eyes you up and down, judgement very clear in her eyes. you cringe a little. “are you kaiser’s partner?” she asks.

you nod in affirmation. you hate the sleazy feeling developing in your gut, expanding due to the scrutiny of their gazes. one of the girls nudge the other one in an ‘i told you so’ manner, which is returned with a smirk that is mischievous in kind.

“do you need something from me?” you question, finally letting your astoundment show on your face. really, you just wanted to walk away from this conversation and find kaiser so you could go home.

“yeah, we’re just wondering why, y’know, that he’d choose you.”

“excuse me?”

“like don’t get us wrong, you’re pretty and all, but we just think that you’re kinda bland for him,” one of them states as the other hums in agreement.

the audacity. you furrow your eyebrows and stand your ground.

“okay, cool. what do you suggest i do then since you seem to be experts in my relationship.”

“break up with him, duh?”

“and let one of you date him instead?” you scoff. “fat chance.”

“just give him up, okay? we could love kaiser more than you probably ever could, clout chaser.”

“gold digger!”

now amused more than frustrated, you bite back the laugh that bubbles in your chest. it was entertaining seeing some sixteen year old girls try to tell you that you and your boyfriend (of two years) shouldn’t be together.

being kaiser’s partner had its downsides sometimes, and it was mostly just the hate you receive for ‘stealing’ him off the market, especially since he was so young, some fans didn’t appreciate that he wasn’t an eligible bachelor. but, you’re used to it. so long as you get to watch him in the spotlight, you don’t really mind the darkness.

you sigh, crossing your arms over your chest. “right… are we done here? because this ‘gold digger’ wants to see their partner and congratulate him.”

“what part aren’t you understanding?” one of them asks before the other one completes the sentence. “you and kaiser just don’t look good together!”

before you could answer, a heavy arm drapes itself over your shoulders. “aww, why not?” a familiar voice asks. the two girls in front of you freeze, panic evident on their faces. “what disturbances held you up from seeing me?”

then you see and hear an overload of flashes and camera clicks. kaiser must’ve caught the paparazzi on his way out and you suddenly remember that you left him waiting, feeling slightly guilty when you turn your head to meet his gaze. you wrap your arms around his torso, happier than ever to feel his warmth against your own.

“what happened here?” kaiser asks, a question directed at you and you only.

“they were just telling me that they didn’t like that i was a main role in your theatre,” you say, earning an eyebrow raise from your genius boyfriend. “how should we fix that?”

he hums for a moment, meeting the widened eyes of his fans.

“kick them out,” he simply declares before turning around with you still in his arms. you two pass by paparazzi, paying them little mind except from the small smiles you send their way.

once you’re in a clearer, quieter area, your boyfriend turns to you and embraces you properly, a gesture you return eagerly as he breathes you in.

“what a way to sour such a good victory,” murmurs kaiser, voice muffled by his jersey that you were wearing. “can’t believe i had to play your knight in shining armour instead of the king that i am.”

you pinch his neck which causes him to flinch with a little shriek. always leave it to you to dumb down his narcissism.

“i was handling it myself pretty well, y’know,” you sigh, “being the michael kaiser’s partner, i’ve grown immune to the hate i receive.”

kaiser frowns, “i didn’t think it happened often,” he whispers. “i’m sorry. how many times have you had to defend yourself without me knowing?”

“it hardly matters-”

“-but it does. i don’t like when people slander you, less when it’s for no reason other than because you’re with me. you should be marvelled at and admired, just like the masterpiece you are.”

his words cause butterflies to erupt in your stomach, a feeling you mask with a playful eye roll.

“yes but,” you counter, reaching to cup his cheek, “being with you makes up for it.”

he smirks, contrasting the downhearted expression he wore moments earlier. kaiser’s skill of immediately recovering from whatever kicks him down truly is something to behold and at times, envy. “of course it does,” he boasts, dramatically flipping one of his bangs.

“besides, i’m willing to fight back if it means i get to be with you.”

before he can argue back, you grab his arm and pull him towards the entrance.

“now come on, let’s talk about it another day. i believe i owe you sixty kisses.”

“make it one hundred now for leaving me waiting for so long.”

“if you get too greedy i’ll leave you on the sidewalk.”

“you’d do that to your king? how dare you!”

ISAGI YOICHI:

“what does your mum like?” you ask a clueless isagi who simply stares at the range of perfumes that the department store had displayed.

“i have no idea,” he mutters. “i never really paid attention to what smells she used.”

“fragrances, yoichi, not smells.”

“oh. right,” the star soccer player rubs his neck awkwardly, smiling sheepishly at you after correcting his small mistake.

he was so adorable, you wanted to pinch his cheeks.

this was the first time that isagi was buying a gift for his mother with his own money, and the first person he turned to for help was his partner: you, explaining that this had to be the best gift she’s ever received. for how much she’s done for him, and how much she’s supported his soccer career, isagi doesn’t know if he can repay it through money, but gifts are hard to deny regardless.

readily agreeing to help, you have memories of isagi’s mother welcoming you into the family with warm arms. she would tell you how beautiful you are, how excited she was to meet you, and that her son better treat you well otherwise you could always turn to her for help; a statement that made the star striker gulp.

“i mean, you could never go wrong with a few classics like carolina herrera, dior, or chanel?” you suggest, walking over to the section filled with perfumes contained in shelves, their respective brands displayed on top. isagi follows you like a lost puppy, clinging close to your side by holding your hand, squeezing it ever so often.

everything you’re saying is going in one ear and through the other, and isagi lets it show on his face.

“don’t worry yoichi, any perfume you pick tends to be a good gift regardless, besides, we have the whole day to figure out what your mum likes,” you reason logically, just in case it might provide him with some relief in the midst of expensive, designer fragrances.

“right,” he huffs, reaching out to read the labels of some bottles.

after a long hunt of going through the shelves, he eventually settles on a fragrance from maison francis (with a pricetag that made you gawk yet isagi was very calm about, agreeing without even thinking about it), but since the packaged version was locked in a glass cabinet, you opted to call a store attendant.

“that’s a great idea, babe, need me to go with you?” he asks, readjusting the strap of his beat-up bag, the one he’s had since high school. funny how some things don’t change for isagi, you love that about him.

you shake your head in response, telling him to ‘wait here’ before strolling off.

however, during this brief time of being without you, isagi was approached by a trio who looked like they were a family, the eldest holding a phone between his hand.

“isagi yoichi?” he asks timidly, fiddling with the phone.

the soccer player flashes a friendly smile, hoping to reduce any of the anxiety they might feel from approaching him. he was just an average, friendly guy after all. “that’s me, need anything?”

“can we take a picture?” the middle daughter asks, pressing her hands together in a pleading motion.

“of course! come on.”

the set of siblings smile eagerly before ambling to isagi’s side, who squats down so he could fit in frame. after a ‘3, 2, 1’ countdown, the photo is taken and just as the dark-haired athlete was about to stand up, a store attendant approaches.

“would you like me to take the picture?” they ask politely, gesturing to the phone.

simultaneously, everyone agrees and soon enough, the photo is taken and done, allowing isagi to high-five them before waving them off, the three of them thanking him profusely for his time.

the store attendant lingers, turning to face him with wide eyes of admiration. “wow, i didn’t think i’d ever get to meet you!” they exclaim. “i watched your match against the under-20 team like so long ago! you were amazing!”

“oh, yeah,” isagi chuckles, flustered at all this recognition, even though he’s been getting more and more of it lately, “thank you for your support.”

although he inwardly cringes at the line that he’s reused over and over again, the store helper thinks nothing of it, beaming back at him. “you’re super cute too, do you think i could get your number?”

isagi lets his shock show on his face before blurting out: “no, i have a partner already.”

the attendant’s face drops into a look of disappointment and the striker wants to run off to find you. you never should have left him alone.

“what a shame. the person that you were just with right?” isagi nods. “don’t know what you think is so special about them, i personally think you’re too good for them and should find someone better, but, it’s not up to me.”

isagi feels his vision zero in, growing red with each word. him? too good for you? what irony.

“excuse me?” he vocalised lowly- practically a growl as he eyes the employee down. “i’m giving you three seconds to get out of my sight before i-.”

he’s too preoccupied with the fury he feels to notice the way the attendant squeaks, eyes laced with fear, before scurrying off mid-sentence, fully intimidated by the striker. isagi sighs, slumping his shoulders. he’s never used that tone to anyone outside of soccer in an attempt of pre-game slander and now he just misses you.

where did you run off to?

right on queue, you materialise beside him, huffing with a pout on your face. “i couldn’t find any store attendants, that’s so weird! where’d they go?”

deciding against telling you that he just scared one away for trashing you, he simply leans his body weight on you, sighing when you embrace him tightly so he wouldn’t knock the both of you over.

“whoa, what’s gotten into you all of a sudden?” you ask, unable to hide the smile on your face from his sudden acts of affection. “everything okay, love?”

“i want to go home,” he whispers against your shoulder. “spend some time with you.”

“what about the gift?”

“i’ll order it online. it can arrive in time.”

relenting, you pluck him off you with great effort. “if you’re sure then, okay, let’s go home.”

“we can get takeout from your favourite on the way home.”

“what’s the occasion?”

“thought i needed to show you how much i appreciate you.”

#oh everyone is SO ooc but meh #blue lock #blue lock x reader #blue lock drabble #isagi yoichi x reader #isagi x reader #kaiser x reader #isagi fluff #yoichi isagi x reader #michael kaiser x reader #kaiser michael x reader #reo x reader #reo mikage x reader #mikage reo x reader #reo drabble #reo fluff #kaiser fluff #kaiser drabble #isagi drabble

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cinefairy · 1 year

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the bigger picture.

DEFINITION OF THE BIGGER PICTURE: THE SITUATION AS A WHOLE

why do you want your desire?

we have to go to the bigger question and ask ourselves “WHY? we want it because of the feeling, not the actual physical thing itself but the feeling. here’s an example

i want to manifest better grades i want all As.

why? because having all A’s means my parents are proud of me. having all A’s means im proud of myself. my teachers are proud of me, my friends are congratulating me. i actually feel smart and capable.

having an A on a piece of a paper is..useless if i didn’t feel the things i wanted to feel. it’d just be a letter on a sheet, but i give it significance. why else do we strive to achieve the best? because of how good it feels.

so imagine that as you wish. conjure the feeling of your friends, your family feeling proud of you. i like to imagine voices confirming what i want to happen, so in this case id imagine my friends saying “oh my god maya you’re so smart i cant believe you got an A!!”

i like to believe its when we open the doors into truly allowing ourselves to feel what we want to feel manifesting feels less of a chore but an outlet to goodness & less and less we lose ourselves in that goodness that whatever the 3D shows loses it’s significance.

when we look at our desires at face-value we tend to lose the ‘pot of gold’ aka feeling. we’re so focused on getting our desires that we miss the whole entire point.

personally i believe if we intend to manifest with the intention of it changing the 3D we will automatically look towards the 3D. we will automatically seek the 3D for our desires when we should be looking within.

make yourself feel good in the inside, make yourself feel calm in the inside, make yourself all the wonderful things you want to feel in the inside. do it because no matter what it’ll reflect, it has to. where else would it go?

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blackheart-6 · 2 months

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noelle holiday age progression chart

without height lines

explanations of designs:

hi yall

so, i actually finished this drawing like a week ago lol. but i didnt want to post a bunch of drawing in a row, and then i got sick, so i havent been able to post it till now!

its my imaginings of what noelle looked like as she grew up, and a potential adult noelle design! ill explain my thought processes about these designs below, if anyones interested 😁

i also plan on doing one of these with dess, but this one was pretty difficult, so it might be awhile before that (unless yalls are interested in seeing it?)

first off, im not 100% sure ill keep using all these designs. some of them im not that happy with (im no good at designing outfits 😔) but i just went with them so i could finish the drawing. so if anyone has any alternative outfit ideas for any of her ages, id be interested in seeing/hearing it!

secondly, something that may stick out to yall for all the designs is how tall she gets. its the same height i normally draw her with, but given how i usually draw her by herself you cant really tell how tall she is! i have 3 main reasons for why i headcanon her as this tall: deer are pretty tall irl, so having her be tall makes sense in my head; i just like the look of her being super tall, it makes me happy lol; and third, i personally also headcanon the holiday family as boss monsters (i think ive explained this headcanon before on here, so i wont explain again, unless someone is interested ^^). so yeah, she ends up being 7 feet tall as an adult, the second tallest in her family!

also, i gave all her children forms stripes in some way, as a reference to when monster kid in undertale says they can tell frisk is a kid because of their stripes!

now onto my explainations for individual drawings!

theres nothing really to say about her baby design. the only thing i did that might be new is give her faun spots! they are most plentiful on her baby form, but they persist until shes in her teens, i would say (on here you cant see them after age 7, but thats just because i imagine they are mostly on her back). and i gave her a cute lil onsie that says a-deer-able! if you guys cant read it ^^

this outfit i made for her toddler design is actually an outfit ive used in the past! i wonder if yall know what drawing it was? its pretty much the same as it was there, i just added a stripe to the shirt. i felt like overalls are so reminiscent of childhood, i had to give at least one of her designs them! i also added a little mistletoe to the front pocket, to make it more christmas-esque. and i gave her some bandaids, just cause.

7 years old is one of the designs i really struggled on, and im still not happy with it. i dunno if ive said this yet, but i headcanon noelle to be trans, so at 7 is when i decided she started realizing it. so here i gave her long sleeves and pants, to show how shes more hidden now because shes unhappy with herself, if that makes any sense? i was also trying to make her look a bit like a nerd, with the button up and khakis, just because its funny. but yeah, ill probably end up changing this design at some point :P

11 years old was one of the easiest to do, considering how ive had her design for this age for awhile lol. one thing i did change was going from 2 red/white stripes to one, but ive done that before, so it wasnt something entirely new. i also gave her a smile and closed eyes, cause shes happy being a girl 🥰. other that that, its the same, so yeah, thats it for this part

okay, this next design is a fairly different looking one than all the rest, but i have my reasons! at this point in noelles live, dess has gone missing, so i wanted to show her being sad and stuff. i also gave her shoes and long sleeves because she probably goes out looking for dess when she can, hoping to find a lead 😭. but outside of in-story stuff, this outfit is based off of an old one i drew, but its fairly edited, so i wouldnt be surprised if no one recognizes it even if they have seen my old stuff. she has straight hair here, to show how unhappy she is (idk what it is about straight hair it just feels sad) and because i wanted to give her different hair varieties on this progression chart. i gave her antlers 2 prongs each at this point, because the way i see deer monsters, their antlers show their growth/aging, so youll see them getting bigger and having more prongs as the chart continues.

this outfit for 15 is another one i dont like. i tried to make it similar to her current outfit, but still pretty different. im not even sure what precisely i dont like about this outfit, it just doesnt feel that good. for this one i gave her leg warmers because i used to (and sometimes still do) draw her normal outfit with them. i gave her the curly hair she has as a callback to when i used to draw her hair like that! but yeah, ill probably end up redoing this one too

for 17, i just gave her the normal outfit, so it was easy ^^. in game i think shes 16, but close to turning 17, so i just went with 17 here to fit the +2 age pattern thing i had going on. i also gave her an extra horn prong than i normally give her, just to show age once again

finally, her adult design! i dont like this one either lol. i spent so long trying to think of what outfit to give her, but i couldnt come up with something i liked >.< so i just gave her something simple. i feel like once noelle graduates high school and probably goes to college she branches out more and tries things her mother never let her do, which is why i gave her an outfit like that, that has a crop top and a shorter skirt. also, yalls might recognize the hair style i gave her, i drew a potential adult noelle before and i gave her the same hair ^^

i think thats all for the post! i probably have more thoughts that im just not thinking of, but its fine for now. i hope yall enjoyed the drawing, and if you have any question or comments or whatever, go ahead and say them!! if youve made it this far, have a cookie, you must be hungry after reading so much ^^ 🍪

#art #my art #digital art #deltarune #noelle holiday #deltarune noelle #age chart #age progression chart #progression chart #finally did this #(i mentioned doing it awhile ago)#im kinda mixed on my feelings about this #but if yalls wanna know about that i talk all out it!#this took forever lol #also #trans #transgender #trans noelle #gotta love transbian noelle ^^

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tommysdaddykink · 2 months

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so much happened this episode but I'm only gonna focus on the buck eddie and tommy of it all.

my thoughts are still all over the place but we've gotten a lot of hints on buddie and oh man do I hope that's endgame

I am really liking buck and tommy right now though

the date was so sad. buck really put his foot in it but eddie talking him through it at the end and getting him to call him was wonderful

I love these two so much and ohmygod do I hope beyond hope that they actually get together. the buddie hug had me soaring

theyre so fucking supportive of each other and its lovely to see

i loved buck's convo with maddie and eddie's with bobby

at this point I think bobby and maddie both suspect that they have feelings for each other, and i imagine hen, chimney, and athena also suspect. the boys have been so obvious and oblivious that i imagine everyone thinks theyre gonna get together

and both convos have got me really thinking that this season might end with buddie confession at the very least but maybe even buddie established for an episode or two

there are a few interviews that have been going around that have really changed my views/hopes for this season. i at first wanted bucktommy to last the whole season but after Lou's interview I'm okay with a few episodes and then them amicably ending things.

i want tommy and bucky's time together to really help buck become more comfortable with himself and for him to learn more about who is. this side of him that he wasnt entirely aware of

mr evan "I can't stop thinking about him" buck buckley

mr evan "checking out a hot guys ass is normal" buck buckley

this man is fucking adorable

I really want Marisol and Eddie to end. The nun thing was hilarious but her moving in so fast just confirmed how much I don't like them.

mr eddie "overprotective papa bear" diaz would never let someone move in that quickly. you cannot get me to believe he would cuz buck hasnt moved in. besides buck the only other person i could see moving in kinda fast woulda been shannon if they had the chance to reconcile and rekindle their relationship

I honestly miss Shannon. I think besides Buck she really is the only one that seemed to click with Eddie. i think their reconciliation and rekindling couldve been a really beautiful story.

also im fully jumping on the ship that buddie is gonna be a thing by the end of season 7. the interview with lou plus the one with ryan are really making me think this will happen.

i thought they might wait for season 8 but the rollercoaster that was this episode is making me think that we'll end with buddie being official

which would be fucking amazing

what does this mean for bucktommy? i think tommy knows that buck is in love with eddie. the surprise he felt when buck told him he wanted his attention really shows that plus everything that happened this episode. tommy telling buck he wasnt ready had so many layers to it and i think eddie is one of them.

lou saying that tommy could been with either buck or eddie and they just went with buck also tells me that this will never be a serious relationship. im expecting them to be over two thirds the way through the season based on this interview and some kind of end of the buddie slowburn we've been going through

buddie slowburn is my favourite kind of 911 fanfic so im not even mad if the pay off actually pays off

i never thought we would get here with buddie seemingly being endgame in canon

man im so glad abc picked up this show

only complaint, need more ravi, josh, and may. i need the nash-grant plus buck family to have some serious family time.

thoughts are still all over the place. sorry for this long ass mess of a post. im not a coherent writer, cant journal for shit tbh. im gonna go read some buddie fics to settle down and i hope/pray that this actually happens

(low-key though if all three get together i dont think my heart could take it but id be very very very happy. but like it needs to be done well. no one feeling left out. the chemistry between all three of them is off the charts. i can totally see why tommy and eddie were a possible route.)

edit may 21: this post is so old lmao but it seems to keep getting some kinda engagement. this one and another of my really old posts lmao and no one's seeing the tags I guess lol. I don't think a lot of this really anymore lol I'm kinda off the buddie canon hype train and have been since the May 2nd episode. also a lot of the interviews Ryan's given have really changed my mind. I want bucktommy endgame at this point and I kinda want arospec Eddie but that's not happening and since he's been called straight by Ryan I just want the man in therapy to get over Shannon and finally face all the guilt he's feeling about her. I can see why buddie canon is really important to people but it's clearly not the story the show wants to tell and I don't see a point in forcing it. I am mostly a fanon fan so it doesn't really bother me either way to lose the idea of canon buddie, since I didnt think canon was ever gonna happen until 7x04 and then 7x06 made it clear it wasn't gonna happen. the hospital kiss really sealed the deal that bucktommy is probably sticking around tbh

#i want buck to be in love with eddie so much ill delude myself but really the show hasnt given real evidence for this #911 spoilers #tv: 911 #buddie spec #evan buckley #ch: buck #ch: eddie diaz #eddie diaz #buddie #buck tommy #buck x tommy #tommy kinard #ch: tommy kinard #buck x tommy x eddie #maybe?#911 s7 e5 #911 s7 ep5 #personal #text #god im so delulu on this ship #very little critical thinking just high on copium #i don't believe everything i wrote here #very high off the bi buck fumes #kinda rooting for bucktommy endgame but id love buddie tbh #edit: lmao ryan came out and called eddie straight like six times so i guess my dreams of buddie canon are dead #luckily i didnt dream for that long so im not too upset about it #i was more a fanon shipper than canon and only the kiss in 7x04 gave me hope #but rip i guess ill just keep enjoying the fan content

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cows-wearing-my-sweater · 1 year

Text

"weren't we the stars in heaven?"

word count: 1978 warnings: angst ??? notes: title is from the song linked above -- kinda some fluff in this but mostly just sad LMAO </3 also im using this as an opportunity to say all of the fic writers here are so inspiring i actually get sm motivation from u guys !! ily forever

Water laps at your fingertips. It’s so very cold; you imagine the icy feeling crawling up your arm until it has frozen your entire body. You’d like to be stuck here for the rest of eternity, the late-winter sky covering the world like a blanket. Most of the sounds around you are muffled, save for the occasional words exchanged between you and Matty.

You’re sitting with him at the edge of an old and worn pier. Initials and hearts and expletives are carved into it all over, and many of the boards have fallen apart, but this is your place. You’ve come here often with Matty over the many years of your friendship. A small, quiet pond. A few lilies adorn where the land slips into water, but aside from that, the scene is entirely unremarkable. There was never a spoken reason why you returned here with him so many times. It was a sort of ritual at this point. After the first night you found the place, a night where you were both a little too stoned and the world was spinning far too quickly, it had become a sanctuary.

Matty watches your fingers continue to swirl through the water, spiraling around and around to create little whorls. “What are you thinking about?” he asks you softly.

You hear the words but they don’t seem to register. Matty’s voice is far away, calling you from a universe where things are different. He says your name this time, a little louder than before.

“Hm?” You lift your head and sit up straighter to get a good look at him. A smile is spread across his face, but you can detect the sadness behind it. It’s a look of mourning, the knowledge of the loss that can’t be avoided for much longer.

Matty repeats himself for you. “I asked what you’re thinking about right now.” He nudges you with his elbow, adding, “You seem a bit preoccupied.”

There’s a lump in your throat. He’s pretending not to know and you’re going to have to say it. Part of you wants to be furious, wants to scream over the fact that he’s acting like he forgot that this is his last day before leaving with the band. You find you can’t truly be angry, though. You saw the tears pooling in his eyes when he told you a month ago that he would be leaving. Even then, you had known it was an opportunity he couldn’t miss. The world was ready for The 1975’s first tour, and it would be nothing but selfish to get on your knees and beg for him to change his mind.

You take a breath to collect yourself before answering his question. “Thinking about missing you.”

His eyes quickly dart away from you. There’s not much time left to act like things are normal. You don’t want to act like things are normal. You want to tell Matty everything, you want to show him every piece of your heart. You want to expose how it beats for him.

Matty sighs heavily, laying on his back to look up at the sky. You do the same – maybe it’ll be easier if you don’t have to face each other. The sheet of clouds is untouched, obstructed only by the occasional bird gliding past. An anomaly within an infinite expanse of nothing. Something about this makes you reach for Matty’s hand. You lace your fingers with his and squeeze. He squeezes back.

He’s still there.

“I just don’t want things to be weird. Or complicated,” you tell him, voice barely above a whisper.

Matty laughs at this. Not a mean laugh, but one of surprise. “You say that like it’s not already complicated.”

You laugh as well, half from your nerves and half from relief. At least he knows. He knows there’s something clearly aching to be said. You start to wonder if it was wrong to wait until it was far too late to tell him. You ask yourself what even constitutes “too late.” You find that you’re not sure. There’s a pause between your laugh and your next words. “What if we don’t see each other again?”

“That won’t happen,” Matty says definitively. He’s still staring straight up, no turning of the head to drink in your image. His words are a half-truth, though, and you can hear it in his voice. He’ll certainly try to come back, to call you, to pay you visits, to give you kisses that clearly run deeper than “just friends.” However, it’s a slim likelihood that this happens. The ever-present hand of time will push you both onwards, stealing Matty from you. You feel this in your heart. You pray that your heart knows nothing.

You’re acutely aware of the increased pressure Matty has on your hand. You sneak a glance over and see that his eyes are shut. You notice that even his eyelashes are pretty, and this sends a pang through your heart. You never want to stop discovering his beauty. The selfish depths of your heart want Matty to remain your own little secret; you never want to share him with the world. This is not where he belongs, though. There is a long stretch of road waiting for him, and, if nothing else, you would still be there with open arms at the end of it.

Matty shuffles his body closer to yours, finally making the dreaded eye contact. No words are exchanged, but you both seem to understand what the other is thinking. You turn on your side and press a kiss to his shoulder. “This could have been so good,” you murmur against his skin.

“I know.”

You allow your lips to linger for a moment. The sky is darkening now. Maybe hours have passed or maybe you were unlucky and got here just moments before sunset. It doesn’t matter, though; you can feel time slipping through your hands, and suddenly you feel like an idiot. There were so many times you almost did it, almost blurted out, “I think I’m in love with you.” The words feel so natural on your tongue when it’s for Matty. It would have been so easy for your mouth to let the sounds slip out. Now you’re here. You never said it, but Matty knows, and the act of actually voicing it is moot.

Matty’s thumb rubs soft circles on your hand, an attempt to ease the pain. His touch burns into your skin. You savor it. Quiet breathing fills your ears, and you let the combination of this and Matty’s skin on yours ease your mind to prevent your next words from becoming stuck in your throat.

Just as your lips part, however, Matty fills the void for you. “I really do love you, you know. I think I love you in every way imaginable, and in all the ways no one has thought of yet.”

A white hot flash of something sears through you – it’s an emotion you can’t put a name to, although it doesn’t particularly need a name. You know what it’s calling you to do. Without much thinking, you adjust your position to gingerly hold yourself above Matty. Ease of access to his lips.

You intertwine yourselves together. It’s terrifying and it’s bliss and you hope it never has to end. This isn’t the first time you’ve kissed him, but it's noticeably different. This time is more tender, and he’s sweeter and softer than you had remembered. Matty’s hands aren’t greedy, either. He holds you to him and his touch roams your body, but he’s gentle. You’re both starving for each other, but you don’t want to miss a single second of this. You need Matty’s lips engraved in yours – something you wouldn't be able to forget, even when he is long gone.

His chest is rising and falling rapidly and you can feel his reluctance as your skin parts from his. Pupils dilated, his forehead comes to rest against yours. Warm breath tickles your nose and the absurdity of it all hits you. You can’t help but giggle. Matty’s expression shifts from serious to puzzled, and then he’s laughing with you. The familiar sound of his laughter helps to soothe your racing heart.

You push yourself into a sitting position now, no longer laying over top of Matty’s body. He does the same, and while your attention is on getting comfortable again, Matty takes the opportunity to catch you off guard. He uses two fingers to tilt your chin up, forcing eye contact before he begins to press kisses to every feature on your face. First your forehead, then your cheeks, the tip of your nose, your chin, up and down your jaw. Your eyes flutter closed and you hum contentedly. There’s a hesitation before he meets your lips again, but you lean into it deeply when he does. You move symbiotically with one another, souls melting into each other. This feeling transcends the human experience. This must be what a supernova feels like, heat pouring out from the center of each body as a final farewell.

Your desire hasn’t been fulfilled to completion when the kiss is broken, but you know this cannot go on forever. “I really do love you too, Matty,” you finally respond. A pause, and then, “And I can’t help but feel guilty for not saying it sooner.”

Matty is quiet for a long time before saying anything else. You almost think he didn’t hear you, until he simply says, “I don’t think we ever needed to say it.”

You furrow your brow at this. “Don’t you wish we could’ve been more than this?”

“I think we would have ended up here anyway. ‘Course I wish things were different, [Y/N]. I would travel to the ends of the earth to find you again. But you’re a smart girl, you know I can’t stay here forever. And I haven’t regretted a single moment of whatever this is.” He gestures vaguely with his hands, unsure of the words to describe what exists between him and you. “D’you know what I mean?”

Once again, you find yourself wanting to be furious. He should be crying, he should be miserable, he should be apologizing for never making this easy. You shake yourself back to reality because you know Matty is right. His words hit you with a certain level-headedness that you hadn’t been ready for. You don’t regret any of this either. Despite it all, he was always there. You suppose that’s all that ever truly mattered; at the very least, it’s what you’ll tell yourself until you believe it. “I know what you mean,” you manage to say.

“Thank you, darling.”

It’s truly getting late now. The night brings an impending sense of doom, regardless of all that has transpired. Silence has fallen over the two of you now; there’s not much left to say, anyway. He told you he can’t stay here forever, and you’re proud of him for it. You make peace with the idea of going home, letting the night draw to a close.

Before you know it, you’re standing with Matty at your parked cars. You cast a glance back at the pond – you’re not sure you’ll come back. Maybe you can when Matty comes back, for old times’ sake. For now, though, you’re faced with the decision of parting words. Of course you’ll see him again tomorrow morning just before he packs up and leaves, but it feels wrong not to say something. Suddenly there’s intense pressure on you; you need to say something monumental, something life-altering that he could never forget. But you don’t. Instead, you leave a chaste kiss on his cheek and say the only words that you can seem to find.

“Don’t be a stranger.”

“I never could be.”

#dont be mean about this one u guys #this fic definitely isnt me projecting #no way def not #matty healy #matty healy fic #matty healy x reader #fem!reader #fluff #angst #naomi's writing !#Spotify

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rachalixie · 2 years

Note

heyyy i hope you’re doing well! i’ve read A LOT of your works and you’re one of the best skz writers out there imo <33 i was wondering if i could request a little something with lee know pls? so here’s the thing: i started my year as an exchange student two weeks ago and i feel super homesick because my family literally lives on the other side of planet earth (i’m in desperate need of a hug oh my god), so yeah i could really use some fluffy comfort, like how he would act if he was there with the reader or smth? i’m leaving the rest to your wonderful imagination <33 thank youu!

a/n: hi honey! i hope this fits the bill. technically my requests are closed, but this was such a sweet ask i had to indulge! im imagining minho as a fellow exchange student! whether you met him there or at home is up to you

you skipped your classes today. you woke up aching with homesickness, you couldn’t bring yourself to leave your dorm, the closest thing you have to a home here. it’s not anywhere near as comforting as your real home, but it’s all you have right now, so it’ll have to do.

you move around the space like a ghost, flitting to the kitchen to eat dry toast for breakfast before floating to the couch to watch your favorite anime.

by the time minho comes home and finds you bundled up on the sofa, near empty mug of tea in your hand and feet propped underneath you, it’s the evening and the sun has set. you’ve gone through an entire season of your show and your eyes are glazed over from looking at the screen all day. you have a single candle going in front of you, the only light source in the entire dorm. it’s been going since midday, almost at the bottom, and you haven’t gotten up since you lit it hours ago.

as soon as he walks through the door, his presence soothes your aching emotions. he’s your home away from home, the one piece you have, the one person who knows exactly what you’re feeling. he’s the painkiller to the stabbing you’ve been feeling in your heart all day.

he settles next to you on the couch, silently taking the mug out of your hands and pressing a kiss to your head.

“you weren’t in class today,” he says, taking note of your phone on the table in front of you. it’s face down, do not disturb has been on all day, and you haven’t looked at it once. it wasn’t a question, but you can hear the underlying inquiry in his voice.

“missed home.” you say, voice cracking a bit. you hide your face in your knees, taking deep breaths to calm down. he places a warm hand on the nape of your neck, turning you a bit so you can lean half on him and half on the back of the couch. the hand travels up to card through your hair, scratching lightly with his blunt nails like you were a cat. just how he knows you like it. he keeps going at it, gently scratching, and you find yourself melting, a dizzy contentment taking over your bones.

the hand leaves your hair, and you have to hold back a whine. you didn’t know if you even had the energy to let it out at this point, with the way you’re half between wake and sleep. his weight lifts from next to you, and you miss the warmth that was pressed up against your side almost immediately. the blanket is adjusted, tucking against where minho just was, but it’s a poor replacement for his living, warm weight by your side.

you float for a bit, a little sad that he left but glad that he stayed until he thought you were asleep. you hear his voice float to your ears from the kitchen, pans clanking and spoons clinking. you’re too drowsy to see what he’s doing in there, but if you were awake and well you would be right over his shoulder wondering what it was that he was concocting.

by the time he comes back to you, you’ve drifted fully unconscious, and he wakes you with soothing pets to your hair and shoulder. there’s a slight crook in your neck from the position you slept in, but a couple stretches fix it as it pops back into place. you smack your lips a few times before prying your eyes open to see him looking at you with so much fondness you think he’s going to explode with it. he schools his features into something more tame when he sees you’re awake, but the pink tips of his ears show that he knows you caught him. you don’t focus on that though, because-

“what is that smell?” you question, perking up a bit. “it smells like home.”

“i called your parents,” he says, ears turning even redder as he averts his eyes shyly. “and i asked what you liked to eat at home and how to make it. your mom said this? so she walked me through making it. you’re lucky you had all the ingredients!”

he chastises you at the end, but you don’t pay attention to that. instead your eyes are locked on the bowl he’s presenting to you, still steaming hot, the achingly familiar smell of it intoxicating. you’re so extremely touched, that he went through the effort of calling your mom who he hasn’t even met yet and asking her how to make this, and then making it for you.

you accept the meal with shaking hands, the warmth of it seeping into your skin as you stare. and stare. trying to hold back the barrage of emotions you’re feeling.

“did i not make it right? i can try it again,” he says, bottom lip trapped between his teeth in worry as wrings his empty hands together. suddenly gone is the tough, suave lee know and in his place is a bashful, painfully shy yet eager to please minho that you want to take care of.

you place the bowl on the table in front of you, not wanting to knock over his creation, before lunging at him and wrapping your arms around his neck tightly. tears finally escape as you bury your face into his neck, chuckling wetly when he makes a noise of confusion before tentatively wrapping his arms around you in return.

“it’s perfect. you made it perfect, it smells perfect, it looks perfect. you’re perfect.”

—

masterlists

#stray kids fluff #stray kids imagines #stray kids fanfic #stray kids x y/n #minho imagines #lee minho fluff #stray kids headcanons #minho x you #minho x y/n #stray kids x you #stray kids x stay #minho x reader

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thetonethetollandthethunder · 5 months

Text

Scythe chapter 16-20!!

Ayy we’re backk!! Let’s just get started shall we?

Chapter 16!!

-oh god the elegy—

-“Could you imagine me as a teenager?” OH YES I CAN OHOHO

-This also shows how much power scythes and especially Goddard has

-And also shows how bad of a scythe Goddard is as well

-Scythe Curie makes a good point that also relates to the toll, in which it doesn’t matter if they kill Goddard or anyone like him because another with the same ideology will always come along without fail

-this chapter didn’t have much but it IS good so ykyk

Chapter 17!!

-OHHH ITS THE MOMENT THAT EVERYONE LOSES THEIR MINDS OVER!! SCYTHE FARADAY IS D-D-DEAD or is he? :) :)

-Rowan instinctively trying to protect Citra!!!

-it makes sense for most disabilities to be nonexistent but that doesn’t mean I have to like it :/ like idk why the way it’s done is just :// especially as a disabled person myself

-The way the describe Faraday’d death is already suspicious if you already know he isn’t dead but when you’re first reading it, it does make sense!

-OH AND THE SEPARATE TRAININGS BEGINS!!!

-“If I ever take on an apprentice it will be for a different reason entirely.” OHOHO I KNOW I KNOWWWW

-Again not much to say BUT still rlly good!!

Chapter 18!!!

-Part 3 begins!!

-SCYTHE CURIE!!

-Again I always forget the names of these places, falling water is a very pretty name!!

-Citra being angry about Faraday’s death OUGH, she’s rlly going through 5 stages of grieve style

-Could you imagine ppl in the future calling our decor and shit old fashioned? Bizarre

-I love how they make Curie instantly charming and likable with only a few scenes, good writing man!!

-What hobbies would other scythes have? I wonder…

-Fun fact, i cannot drive, tried to learn and crashed the car, oh how I wish driving wasn’t necessary like in scythe

-Giving us little notes about the comfort scythes can give

-We hear a lot about being stagnant in the Scythe universe, and like, yeah, if you were in this utopia wouldn’t you grow stagnant even quicker than most? You have nothing to do literally

-You can really feel how observant Curie is, she noticed the small details

-Jesus even Curie’s yelling scared ME and I already knew what was gonna happen! She’s rlly intimidating—

-Gotta uphold your image!!

-“Another Scythe might have exacted a punishment far worse.” *COUGH COUGH GODDARD*

-Again shit names!! Barton Breen??? What??

-20 kids,, Jesus,,

-You can Curie’s own version of compassion, it’s different from Faradays yet still wonderful

-She did find her own way of gleaning!!

-Again FUCK Goddard!!

-I do wonder what would happen if Citra was trained by Goddard instead of Rowan…

-“Immortality has turned us all into cartoons.” GOD THAT LINEE

-Amazing chapter!! Told a LOT abt Curie!!!

CHAPTER 19!!!!

-Oo!! I thought this moment happened in Thunderhead but I misremembered!!

-Tho I THINK something similar happens??? Idk maybe my memory is fuckin with me ushejdj

-ALSO DAMN CITRA!! Pushin girls in front of TRUCKS holy fuck!!!

-Hate the eating descriptions!!

-TELL THE MOTHER YOU TWO!!! LIKE CMON??

-Cindy lmaoo, whenever someone whitewashes Citra im gonna call it Cindy instead <3 spite

-“err on the side of respect.” LMAO love that line

-RONDA ROADKILL IM DYINGGGGGG and so did she! (Temporarily but yk)

-“Can i throw you under a truck some other time?” She’s a busy person! I’d totally throw Citra under a truck! Would be fun!

-Morals change when theres little consequences, Citra would never even CONSIDER pushing Ronda in the mortal age, but since people can just come back it doesn’t seem like such a bad thing, it also shows how the concept of empathy and morality has changed in this society

-“the cloud” like icloud! Guess apple won in this world!

-“The machine had a purer soul than any human” NO IT DOESNT IVE SEEN AI ART YOU CANT FOOL ME!!!

-FUCK YOU SCYTHE GODDARD!!!

-OO TIME FOR CITRA TO INVESTIGATE!! I remember LOVING this plot so!!!!

Chapter 20!!

-Rowan finally!!! I missed you!!!!!

-He doesn’t wanna kill Citra!!! The beginning of his devotion to her UGHHH

-god hes only 17, I think we forgot how young these characters are, they really are just kids being pushed into this horrible situation god,,,

-“His was a life without substance, and now it would end.” God and here we see Rowan’s iconic self deprecating “emo” moments, people make fun of these scenes a lot but I fucking love em, it really contrasts Rowan and Citra. Citra has people who love and care about her, Rowan doesn’t, he knows that (in this moment) if he died no one would really care or remember him, so when he finds Citra, someone who does care about him and would care if he died, he clings to it. I mean when you’re that neglected and want SOMEONE to care even a little about you, wouldn’t you do the same thing?

-He already wants to change things!! And he will!! He will change a lot, though not as much as his girlfriend!!

-VOLTA!!

-“So is there a reason why you choose your robes to be the color of piss?” HA one of my favorite lines!!

-“the Change” god their ideology—, the fact they’re all thinking that they’re changing things for the better really shows how convincing of a man Goddard is, GOD i hate him!!!

-Ans here we have Goddard’s MANY parties

-my sensory issues would hate this

-I accidentally spelled Goddard’s name as Goodard which…Isn’t that so Ironic?

-“Bimbotech” Neal I’m BEGGING you to stop

-“Rowan wondered if the man had a diamond-studded bathing suit in his waredrobe as well.” He would because he’s a vain prick!!

-HES UNDERAGE STOP GIVING HIM ALCOHOL!! *Looking at you RAND especially ya creep—*

-“He was lucky if they even remembered to get him a gift” rowans parents man,,, He was really fucking neglected man it’s so awful, and the fact he still cares about them despite that GODDD

-See how goddard bend the rules? See how he twists them to make them fit what HE wants? Yeah, he’s gonna do that a lot; again, fuck you Goddard

-ESME!!! Shes backk!! And he’s right! She’ll be important!!

-GOD this is a good chapter, rowan my beloved!!

And that’s it!!! Next time will be chapters 21-25!! We’re going so fast aren’t we?

#the tone speaks #arc of a scythe #long post #this will make things a bit out of order apologies

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littlestpersimmon · 2 years

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i started reading the series (aaa im not sure which part is the actual series name so sorry) with the fitz / the fool as a kid but i never got too far in the series so i was really surprised to see you post about tones of mlm (esp bc my dad was the one who owned this series and suggested i read it, and hes homophobic as shit) i was just curious, what is the nature of the relationship of fitz & the fool in the series? (the snippets you posted just before, seemed like unrequited love?) im esp intrigued of your interp of it as someone who is mlm. though, pls dont feel like u have to go into it if its too extensive to go into or anything though or if u just dont wanna!

Fitz and the Fool's relationship tends to go under the radar, but you wanna know whats hilarious though? Some of the oldest comments in goodreads and ancient forums online complain that Fitz should have realized that the Fool was actually a woman and that the Fool is Fitz' true love, lol. Canonically, The Fool is genderqueer, using he/him and she/her, depending on who is present, and the Fool is canonically, outright in love with Fitz. It's accepted that Fitz and the Fool are canonically romantic, but only at the very end of the series, in their deaths.

My personal interpretation is that Fitz is gay and not bisexual.

That's my Personal Opinion, as in, you guys can disagree. Molly never stops feeling like puppy love, like someone Fitz cares about because of what she represents and not of who she is as a person. I don't like complaining about canon, but rote is my one exception. People rag on Anne Rice all the time for being notoriously anti fanfic, but what she was saying at the time was shared by many other authors, Robin Hobb included, whose anti fanfic post made it to encyclopedia dramatica. Robin Hobb said "for Fitz to be gay is a destruction of his character". Robin Hobb said that nobody in realm of the elderlings gets a fairytale ending because that's not how the world works, while Burrich is conveniently killed so Fitz can marry Molly.

Fitz is terrified of coming out to Robin Hobb.

Maybe that's why the Fool says Fitz shows his love from his actions. Fitz says he could never desire the Fool sexually, but when faced with the possibility of the Fool being intimate with someone else (Jofron), he is devastated. Fitz doesn't like Amber because not only does Amber (who is the Fool as a woman) forces Fitz to confront his own transphobia, she also makes Fitz uncomfortable with his own homophobia. The Pale Woman is also a good example of this. She promises to give Fitz what Beloved could never give him, she promises to "perfect" What Fitz has with Beloved, and all the while, the Pale Woman's most effective weapon against Fitz is of how much she reminded Fitz of the Fool.

Robin Hobb made it a point that her series always veered toward unsatisfying endings because that was how realistically the world worked, so it makes me wonder why Fitz didn't end up with women like Jinna or Starling, who both would have been more narratively interesting (imagine Starling, who hated the Fool, popping out Bee, a kid who looked just like the Fool.)

Fast forward to Fitz in Withywoods where he is unhappy with his life. His relationship with Molly is never shown but told, and you, as the reader will just have to be convinced of it. He stays in his little room aching for his wolf and his friend, never telling anyone about them, always feeling like a part of him is missing.

Fitz never takes the initiative when it comes to how he loves people. The way he loves is unassuming and reticent, and not everyone will understand that, but the Fool did. Throughout his entire life, starting from their childhoods in the castle as outcasts.

They're canon kind of by the 3rd book of Farseer, but the flirtation between them is deeply subtle, always brief, it's like Fitz only seeing the Fool through a hallway made of sheer curtains until the very end of the 17th book where he tears down all the thin walls between them to be wholly together.

It's funny how the Fool is the one throughout the series poking and prodding Fitz, needling him and initiating the little proclamations of love and devotion and you get angry at Fitz for not reciprocating until you realize the Fool is also guarded, has his own walls up.

To Molly, Fitz is newboy, to the Farseers, Fitz is the son of Chivalry, to Starling he was the promise of a song, but to the Fool, he is the closest he will ever be to Keppet, the boy who was loved by his mountain mother, and the boy who was loved by the white prophet

And in the very end Fitz is the one who has the resolve; that he wants to be with the Fool, more than anyone else, in his dying thoughts he wanted only to be with the Fool, who still has his walls up, until Bee tells him

"don't you realize you were loved the best?"

#rote spoilers

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caralara · 1 year

Note

"and also I have a lot of complicated and sad feelings about harry I need to process!" Can you expand on this? (If it's not personal of course)

oooooof anon I don’t even know where to start

Maybe with the fact I’m severely sleep deprived after the week of wembley? And that I will probably change my mind tomorrow after a good nights sleep again? Or that I’m super sad and a little embarrassed about having these feelings and thoughts in the first place?

At almost every harry show I’ve had an existential crisis at some point during the concert, of “what am I doing here? Why am I like this? Why do I spend so much money and time and energy and attention on this? Why don’t I have more of a ‘real life’? Why am I such a loser? Why do I feel like I missed my chances and became a little-below-average-adult instead of the special unique star my mum always said I would be? Why do I know all these thoughts are there bc I’m depressed and a little too self aware and hanging on by a thread, it feels like, desperately trying to find the next thing to look forward to in order to not notice how little I feel overall anymore and how little I care at all about keeping on living?” (Wow that got depressing sorry)

But this does kind of take me out of the experience for a second. And then when I see harry. i see him and his face up close. And I’ve always prided myself on the fact I’m extremely good at reading people, (let’s forget for a second I could always be wrong obv for the sake of this explanation), and what I see when I look at harry is a completely crafted stage persona (fair enough) but like - it didn’t always feel like this last year? Idk, maybe it’s the combination of this being a stadium tour, all the drama that has happened since last tour, then the having to camp for days to be able to see him close-ish, being surrounded by the absolute nastiest bullies with TPWK tattoos you can imagine (literally half of them are bullies I’m not joking), the entire feather boa cowboy hats “fuck me fuck me fuck me” thing solo harries have going on, harry doing gender reveals with such glee (???? Like shouldn’t we like stop doing that? I get you love babies harry but, shouldn’t especially harry know gender conformity reinforcement isn’t like, it?), reacting to all these yuck and nasty signs, re-encouraging the environment-catastrophes that are feather boas and single use cowboy hats ?? So I see him several times performing and he’s got all these amazing songs that mean so so so much to me and I see him going through the motions (fair enough) and not really feel most of the songs, and all of that just makes it look so - inauthentic? Idk. It’s stupid but it makes me feel like he’s a sellout, and that’s just not fair for me to say or think, and I know that, but I can’t help it. And then today he hangs with Shelli Azoff who’s been to court bc she’s abusing her sevice staff??? And it does make me wonder am I just deluding myself? How much is true and how much isn’t of what we make him out to be? Genuinely, him bathing in and demanding for more of the literal worship of his actual person gave me the Ick so bad yesterday. And then again he sings sweet creature and kisses his cross necklace right after. And then again It’s probably (as it always has) much more to do with my ego than anything else, and being upset he didn’t even acknowledge me for a second while literally standing in front of him with my big ass birthday sign. So just me being a sad little kid who’s feelings got hurt bc I didn’t get the attention for my birthday from the boy I like the way I had way too high expectations of.

All these thoughts are jumbled, and I’m crying and I’m tired but you asked so you shall receive.

Im just tired of having to mentally defend harry when he’s clearly wanting it exactly the way it is - saying he’s never been happier over and over on stage. So. Do with that what you will.

#anon #harry

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llycaons · 11 months

Text

ep19 (part 2): boy oh boy it's coming

this rules. make that sword float and have the disembodied voices of a thousand disturbed souls scream out in the voices the protag knows

OH THAT'S A BONE. I NEVER REALIZED. he's trying to wave them away...he does the same thing with chenqing later on. so impotent and desperate. you know he's going to survive this and reign in this power, but it hurts so much to see him suffer through it. he was scared, up there with the wen men. he was clearly really scared. he's freaking out over here

I think it was a good choice not to show anything that happened in the three months. best left to the imagination. and it keeps the plot moving. we don't need to see his process to see what he did. and his reveal later is all the better for not knowing what's been happening with him or what he's been learning

YESSSS YESSS THERE HE IS AND HE LOOKS MAD!!!!! I love that tiktok of the guy sitting up straight and zipping his jacket and saluting bc literally. this is such a cool entrance too he walks up those steps so slowly and he looks so cool doing it

jc swoops in later but he gets a very brief entrance. and he wasn't even the one who subdued the guards, it was all lwj with his musical notes and cords to strangle people

I wonder if he requested doing it alone...

first time I watched this I didn't know about all the bdsm in the novel but some people take this shot way differently than I do. I just think they have a really different dynamic in the show I don't see it. I'm not saying it's impossible just not my headcanon.

im just posting this pic because I like the curtain around the bed, it's pretty.

the 'jc and lwj would be friends' people are so funny because obviously they wouldn't be, but it's probably more due to lwj than jc at this point. jc is fairly open and honest in this scene, reaching out to lwj with his worries and not hiding them in rage or sarcasm. trying to connect with someone who cares about wwx as well, who has the same goals as him.

and lwj just doesn't care. he does not speak a word to him or even really look at him this entire scene. if lwj was more open to social interaction and less laser-focsed on wwx, maybe? but they are who they are and lwj isn't really keen on making friends or comforting anyone when the love of his life has possibly been murdered in the most horrible and cruel way possible

it's so sad to think about how deep lwj must be in fear and grief bc this literally does happen, in the end. wwx is dead with no body, his soul possibly lost forever.

also the lan guys give lwj wwx's sword even tho jc is right there and jc doesn't object. interesting. my theory is that he has a sense for their relationship and he's cool with it as long as he and wwx have a decent relationship

it's a low bar but cheers to jzx for not letting crows eat human corpses and offering his forces to help clean up. because his cousin certainly wouldn't have

of course poor jyl, home destroyed, parents dead, younger brother with his core ripped out, other younger brother missing for months, drugged against her will and sent away by the two people she wanted to be with more than anything else, in the care of a near-stranger, alone and seeing the countryside littered with corpses. god.

WHY DIDN'T HE LEAD WITH THAT. jzx you ass

their reunion is very touching!!

they love wwx so much oh my godd it kills me that he doesn't see how much people love him.

this quiet little scene is so sad...it's so tender, so gentle

jc is only ever this humble and penitent with his sister, or maybe with some high-ranking leaders. he's very proud...

oh, sweetheart. he hasn't. it may look like it, he's definitely better in this arc than he is anywhere else, but he hasn't.

this parallels the scene before when jyl begs wwx to find jc when he's vanished. because they need to stay together 🥺

though INTERESTING that it's jyl who leaves the jiangs, in the end, out of less than dire moral imperative. she just wanted to get married, and good for her

this fixation on staying together, I think it's an entirely reasonable reaction to abuse at home, then great upheaval and loss. she wants to cling to what she can trust. she wants her remaining family together where she knows they're safe. but I think in the aftermath of the war she recovers enough from this mindset to pursue her own life, though of course she never wanted to lose her brothers entirely. she would have rather died than watch them die…it's so cruel but honest to god I believe it's truly what she wanted

oh, neat. we learn earlier that meng yao, having left the nies, is not with the jins. where could he be? and who could this mysterious new right hand man in qishan be? little detail that's easily missed on the first watch

so real wlj get yourself outta there. haven't forgotten the torture or child murder but its fun to see her rebel against staying wc's servant

aren't those wwx's reversed talismans? if so, she's about to draw a lot of very powerful spirits to her

about the bloody eyes...I imagine wwx can cause hallucinations, or else it's just her sheer terror manifesting itself in something besides nightmares

come to think of it, jyl also had dreams about things that would happen regarding wwx. do the women in this setting have a tendency towards prophetic dreams? much to think about....

personal highlights

wzl looking at his hand after hitting wwx like 'what?'

LOVED when wwx threatened to come back as a vengeful spirit. oved when he used his low status as a tool to achieve his ends. atta boy <3

LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN KEEP SMILING UNTIL THE END. evil line, love it. super cruel and taunting in a way that reminds me of later jc - like 'oh, you think you're such a hero, don't you?'

jc's beautiful dream/vision ough imagine having a happy family that loves you

lwj epic staicase climb. I missed him I was just staring at him for ages

I truly do love all of wlj's scenes. she is super fun, her actor does a terrific job, her outfit in this episode was really pretty, and her decision to ditch wen chao and leave him to die ruled

I love that first scene in BM when wwx is bruised and surrounded by all those ghosts and crawling over human remains, maybe he WAS injured in the fall. he didn't stand up...

jc being tender and honest with his sister. he can do it! I know he has it in him! and i'm proud of him

next up ep20 and you know what that means!!! YILING LAOZU IS COMING!!!!!

#cql re-rewatch

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lunaslovelyrambles · 3 years

Note

I can't get over that other scenario where levi's s/o takes a bullet for sasha 😭 can you please do a different scenario where levi's s/o still does take the bullet for sasha but ends up surviving

Plzzzzz (btw I love your posts)

AHH IM SORRY

i’m glad you liked it tho!! even if it made you sad it always makes me feel good to know that you enjoyed it 🤙😩

sort of spoilers for s4 ep8, death/blood

——

levi ackerman

The last thing you expected when you boarded the airship was for something like this to happen. You knew that you’d scold yourself forever over stupidly letting your guard down after stepping foot onto the wooden flooring of the ship.

Well, if you survived, that is.

The last few moments that led to now replayed in your head like a movie. Currently, you were laid out on the floor, blood pooling around you and too much damn noise around you.

But before you happened to be shot in the stomach you remembered being on the airship above Libero, ready to pick up the fellow Scouts from battle.

You also recalled seeing Levi board with Zeke. As he passed by you he shot you a quick glance that you’ve come to know means I’m okay, you’re okay, we’re okay. And that helped ease your mind despite the intensity and commotion of the day. You wish you could’ve spoken with him at least for a second but he was busy.

You were too. After all you were a part of the Scouts too, assigned to help Hange with plans aboard the actual blimp. It still didn’t help the fact that you were worried sick about the man you loved and just wanted this damn mission to be over.

It wasn’t long before Eren was climbing in, then Mikasa and finally the rest of your comrades.

Seeing them alive and relatively okay made you feel better. You knew there was no way everyone would make it out alive but knowing that the majority of you lived felt.. nice.

You were okay, Levi was okay, and your friends and fellow soldiers were all going to be fine.

Until a young girl with vengeance in her eyes and a loaded gun boarded the ship. You heard the commotion going on behind you and quickly turned only to be met with the barrel of a gun pointed at Sasha.

You couldn’t remember at what point you pushed her out of the way, but you did. And in saving her life you had taken the hit yourself.

“(Y/N)! Stay with us!” Sasha’s voice barely rang into your ears as you lulled back to the present. She was hovering above you, palms a deep crimson from trying to stop your wound from bleeding.

More voices could be heard shouting in the background. Despite them sounding urgent and yelling you could barely hear them. Your entire body was getting tired and you just.. wanted.. sleep.

“Hey..! Keep your eyes open (Y/N)!” a voice you could break recognize as Jean said. But you couldn’t. Your eyelids felt so heavy and the call for sleep was so loud.

Just... a few seconds wouldn’t hurt, right?

Your eyes slid shut and all the noise stopped.

-x-

The next time your eyes open you find yourself in a tent. Odd, you thought, because part of you hoped the afterlife would be a little bit nicer. Still, you couldn’t deny that awakening in a tent brought about some familiarity.

You groan, turning to move to your side to get comfortable only to hiss out in pain. You once again thought this was odd because.. was there supposed pain in the afterlife.

Maybe you weren’t-

“Hey. Stop that you’ll only hurt yourself more.”

The all too familiar annoyed tone with subtle undertones of concern rung out in the tent. When you looked up you saw none other than Levi staring down at you.

You gave him a once over and immediately noticed how tired he was. Sure, in the many years that you’ve known him he rarely ever slept. But he never showed fatigue. You knew that he got a little too good at hiding things like that. Despite that, in this moment, he looked purely and utterly exhausted.

“You don’t look too great yourself either,” you quipped as you sat up fully despite the immense pain in your side.

“It’s not every day that your lover gets shot, nearly bleeds out to death, and then is asleep for several weeks,” he continued to stare down at you, this time with noticeably sadder eyes.

“Weeks? I was..” you brought a hand up to your head as you tried to process it all. But before you could make contact with your head, Levi grabbed your hand and slightly kissed your knuckles.

The action made you stop your train of thought. The amount of time you were asleep for wasn’t the issue right now.

It didn’t matter that you had missed several weeks of your life. Levi had to go several weeks wondering if you would live to tomorrow, if he would maybe get to see you again.

You couldn’t imagine the pain he must be in.

“I’m so sorry. For worrying you for that long. But I’m okay, Levi, and I promise I’m not going anywhere anytime soon,” you slightly rubbed his thumb now with the hand he took earlier. He didn’t say anything. Instead, he chose to relish in the feeling of your skin against his.

It was warm.

He sighed heavily and he could feel the biggest weight lifted off of his shoulders. He gripped your hand ever so slightly as he gave you a rare, sincere smile.

“Thank you, (Y/N)... For staying.”

——

masterlist || rules page

-> requests are open!

#aot x reader #attack on titan x reader #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x y/n #levi ackerman x you #levi x you #levi x reader #levi x y/n

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piercingbonez · 3 years

Text

the dance || thomas shelby x reader oneshot

platonic john shelby x reader and some tommy shelby romantic tension with you

warnings: alcohol, swearing, minor angst if you squint

word count: 1.4k

a/n: let me know if you’d prefer reader oneshots to be in third person rather than first!

You entered the ballroom with John by your side, a smirk on his face as he handed you champagne as a busboy passed them. "Thank you." You leant over and kissed his cheek, giggling when it left a red mark.

"Ay, down sweet." He teased, prodding your side. "Let’s dance." He held his hand out and you took it with a grin, allowing him to lead you onto the dance floor.

Their dancing was full of laughs and stupid twirls for almost the entire night. You’d also had a few dances with Arthur, though they were more sweet and gentle, his hands on your waist as you swayed softly in time with the music.

"You seen Tommy?" Arthur asked as they danced, looking around.

"Not yet, maybe the king of Small Heath decided not to show." You giggled, resting your forehead on his shoulder. His hands squeezed your hips comfortingly when he noticed some men staring at you, knowing it helped you calm down.

"Speak of the devil and he shall appear." Arthur snorted, swaying and spinning the pair of you around so you could subtly spot the Shelby in the crowd. He was hard to miss, people moved to the side as he walked through the ballroom.

"Lookin' like a right git, as usual." You snickered, spinning you both around again as you danced across the floor. You wrapped her arms tighter around his neck, pulling him close when you saw the way men were staring at your body.

"Oi, my turn." John grabbed his brothers shoulders and pulled him away, Arthur rolling his eyes.

"I better have you again later." He winked, kissing your hand before walking off to smoke, presumably.

"You seen the king?" John chuckled, holding your waist and spinning you at a fast pace, you struggling to keep up with his movements as you laughed. You stumbled a few times and he rolled his eyes. "You 'ave two left feet." He teased. "Stand on mine." You sighed and rolled your eyes back at him, placing your feet on top of his so he could guide the both of you. "There we go." One hand held your lower back securely whilst the other was interlocked with your own in front of you. The touch made your face heat up rapidly.

"'e's eyeing you up." John smirked, watching the way his brother was smoking and staring at you two.

"Probably never seen me in a dress before." You giggled. It wasn't often you wore dresses, usually ditching them for a similar attire to the men, button down shirts, braces and suit trousers.

"Hmm, I must say, it does flatter your figure." He spoke playfully, making you blush again, shoving your face into his neck to hide your embarrassment.

"Shut it, Johnny." You teasingly kissed his neck, knowing it would leave a lipstick stain.

As the song ended John let go quickly, sending you stumbling off his feet. "Git!" You snarled, smacking his chest as you tried to steady yourself.

"Watch out, Kingie is on 'is way." He smirked and nodded to his approaching brother, chuckling when your eyes widened.

"John!" You hissed as he walked off with a cheeky grin and a wink.

"Sophie." A hand was on your waist suddenly and you were forced to spin around.

"T-Tommy." You cursed at the way your voice skipped nervously, looking up at his smirking face.

"Care to dance, darling?" He said smoothly, making you face heat up. Normally it was just Y/N, no nickname, certainly no darling. Normally Thomas didn't care much for you, he treated you the same way he treated any of his Peaky men.

"Th-Thats new." You mumbled with a small smile, taking his outstretched hand. He used the hand on your hip to pull you into his chest, your cheeks hot as you looked up at him.

"Hmm, felt it would be fitting, you look gorgeous." Thomas' gruff voice never failed to make you melt, especially with what he was saying and how close your bodies were. "Never seen you look like this before." You wrapped your arms around his neck as his other hand made its way to your hip as well, lightly squeezing the skin there in a comforting gesture.

"I-It's John's doing." You said quietly, looking over to the snickering boy watching the two of you sway to the music.

"Remind me to thank 'im later." He chuckled deeply, one hand sliding to the dip of your back, pulling you ever closer so your chests were pressed together.

Thomas kept the dance slow, not only because he'd been watching the way you tripped and stumbled with John, but it meant he could keep you close to him. He wanted to make sure that everyone in the room knew that you were with them, with him.

"We thought you weren't gon' show." You mumbled, peering up at him, your doe eyes meeting his.

"And miss your birthday?" He raised an eyebrow. "Of course not, sweet." The nickname that was so natural out of his brothers mouths made you blush, it was different coming from him.

"John did a wonderful job plannin'" You smiled, Thomas nodding in agreement.

"I'm glad you're 'avin a nice time." The two of you twirled gracefully, though you didn't notice the glares and threatening stares he was sending to any men who's eyes trailed downwards.

"So does John treat you well?" Thomas' asked casually, swaying you to the music as it slowed. You nearly choked, looking up at him with wide eyes.

"Wh-What?" Thomas raised an eyebrow. "He-He's a good friend?" Your comment came out as more of a question, Thomas smirking.

"Friend? I always thought you two'd end up together." Your cheeks flushed at his statement, you and John had actually had a secret relationship at one point but they broke it off as the boy had been nervous about putting you at risk. Granted, that seemed stupid now you were working with them.

You sent a glance to John who just winked and blew a kiss to you, Thomas chuckling above you. "You sure there's nothin'?" Deep down he hoped your answer would be no. He'd had his eye on you for a long time, though no one ever noticed. Your desk was definitely not intentionally placed in front of his office window and he often found himself in a gaze looking at you.

"No." You mumbled, looking down awkwardly.

"Hmm, and does that mean you're free tomorrow?" The question caught you off guard, was Thomas asking you out? You shook your head quickly and his hand went to hold your jaw softly, tilting it up with his thumb on your chin. "I'll pick you up at 9:30. Bring a coat." You nodded, your brain swirling with so many thoughts that you felt somewhat lightheaded. "Happy birthday, Y/N." He dipped down and kissed the corner of you mouth, barely giving you enough time to react before he smirked and walked away swiftly.

John practically ran towards you, grabbing your shoulders. "The fuck was that, ay?" He chuckled with a smirk, your eyes wide.

"I 'ave no fuckin' clue." She giggled in disbelief, Johns hands sliding to her hips to spin her around. You couldn't help the heat that rose to your cheeks with his touch, no matter how much you tried to tell yourself you didn't have feelings for him anymore, his gentle touches always made your face heat up.

"That dress is doing wonders for you." He winked, eyeing you up and down again. Deep down he still felt the same tug at his heart when he saw you with another guy, but he knew how his brother felt, and god forbid he tried to get in his way.

"Thanks Johnny." You stood on your toes to kiss his cheek again, sending sparks through the both of you, John laughing and spinning you around again before pulling you into a dance.

The best friends spent the rest of the night dancing together, though Arthur stole a couple more. John made a, as you called it, legendary toast in your honour before lifting you onto his shoulder, Arthur holding you up as well. Thomas surprisingly made a speech too, though it was short and sweet and made your cheeks go heat up, John sending you a wink.

You couldn’t have imagined a better birthday.

#thomas shelby x reader #tom shelby x reader #tommy shelby x reader #john shelby x reader #arthur shelby fanfiction #john shelby fanfic #john shelby fluff #thomas shelby fluff #tommy shelby fanfic #tom shelby fanfic #thomas shelby fanfic #x reader #peaky blinders x reader #fanfic #bonez fics

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yesimwriting · 3 years

Text

Searing Starlight (chapter two)

A/n Chapter twooo!! I cannot believe the support I’ve been getting on here im so excited to share my six of crows/shadow and bone fics with y’all!

Lmk if you’d like to be tagged when I update this story!! And just letting y’all know I take requests so if you have an idea you’d like to see me attempt feel free to comment it or send it in :))

At least Kaz’s claimed ‘wraith’ (which is such an odd thing to just have) is a girl, and a seemingly kind one at that. She was quick to find me, body pressed into wooden shelves and glass bottles, and subtly gesture for me to follow her. It had been difficult to keep track of her flighty form through the crowd, but I think there was a point in her strange raveling, to make sure no one was following me.

She’s not particularly talkative, but she doesn’t seem bothered by me. She tossed me a random oversized shirt to pull over my dress when she saw how I kept adjusting the fabric and crossing my arms. That was kinder than she needed to be. I think I’ll like her.

“So you’re a wraith,” I manage, breaking the nervous silence, “Like a full time, constantly on-call wraith.”

The question seems to puzzle her, dark eyebrows drawing together. “Yes.” The corner of her mouth twitches up slightly, a smile. “A full time, constantly on-call wraith.” She hesitates, perfect stance adjusting. “What were you doing before?”

Great. This question. “Nothing important.” It’s not a fair cop-out. Especially since she answered my question. “I um...I’m indentured to Rollan Kenya.”

I watch her reaction to the name. Some know of him. Some revere him. Some loathe him and everything he’s associated with. “His religious interpretations are controversial.”

“If you think what he says to the public is bad you should hear what he says in private.” I push myself further into the chair I’m in.

Something strange flickers over her features. “I can imagine.”

Shaking my head, I hope I’m ending this conversation. “What’s your name?”

A hesitation. “Inej.”

I nod once, “I’m y/n.”

“Do you need water, y/n?”

I scratch my still exposed knee. “That’d be nice. Thank you.”

She’s quick to leave, feet making no noise. A minute later she returns with a cup. I have no reason to suspect her, but I still sniff the cup before taking a cautious sip. I wonder if Anya made it back home. I wonder if she’s worse off for it.

Before I can fall into a pit of debating despair, the door to the room Inej took me to squeaks open. On instinct, I snap my gaze towards the door, tensing. The first person I notice is Kaz, entering the room with a determination too intense for this time of night. Jesper is quick to follow, and I drop my stare. I’ve never had to interact with anyone I’ve lied to after taking their money.

“Are they gone?” Inej asks, clearly accustomed to such brooding tension.

Kaz nods once, “It took too much convincing--the Inferni’s more than she’s letting on.”

I’m literally in the room. “I’m not--we’ve spoken two words to each other, sorry my abilities didn’t come up.”

He turns towards me with a deadly grace. My grip on the cup tightens. What the hell is wrong for me? How deeply instilled is that god complex Kenya wanted in me? It must be as part of me as my name if I felt comfortable enough to speak that way to Kaz Brekker.

I keep my eyes on his cane, waiting for some kind of physical retaliation. “Maybe the grisha hunting you would appreciate your sense of humor more.”

It’s a bluff. He needs me. He’s desperate for something that can mimic a Sun Summoner. Still though, I’m not in the mood to poke a bear with a stick. “Speaking from experience,” I clear my throat awkwardly, “They tend not to.”

“Then I suggest you begin explaining before I decide I’d rather take my chances and you lose your worth.”

Maybe if I hadn’t spent the last eleven years of my life with Kenya, his words would haunt me. I keep my expression set, but the lanterns in the room flicker. “It’s not as impressive as they’re making it seem--Inferni can produce fire, regular, red, bright fire.” I pause, feeling energy in my palms. “I can do the same, but I can also,” I extend a flat palm, “Do this.”

I focus my energy on restraint, forcing the fire on my skin to remain there, covering my palms in a cold, blue glow. “It’s still fire, just blue--and that matters to them because blue light is the only kind you can use in the Fold.” Do they know anything about the fold? “Kenya, the man I’m indentured to, believes that this ability makes me eligible for Sainthood. He specializes in collecting people he thinks are eligible for Sainthood.” The low flame coating my palm licks upwards as I remember what disappointing Kenya means. “And if you don’t meet his standards, he’ll find a way to make sure you do. That’s why the grisha want me. He made me more and they believe that if they give me to someone who can give me an amplifier I’ll be able to produce enough blue light to protect an entire fleet.”

“What do you mean ‘he’ll find a way to make sure you do’?” Inej’s voice is cautious. An attempt to be respectful.

I drop my palm, letting the fire disappear into nothingness. “I wasn’t born with the ability to control the blue light so well--It’s difficult enough to produce for longer than two seconds let alone keep it from burning everything in sight. By the time I ended up in Kenya’s control he had learned that certain stimulants. Some scientists are working on a more grisha-targeted kind, but Kenya has managed to work with the generic well enough.” Hands shaking, I wipe the condensation off the side of the cup and hold out my wrist. Using the condensation, I begin to wipe at my wrist and forearm, smearing my makeup and revealing the needle bruises. “The key is withdrawals.”

Thoughts of begging Kenya, crying and screaming for another fix as he promised to give me that as soon as I showed some control of my abilities, make the shaking in my hand worse. I clasp my hands together, squeezing them in hopes of hiding the signs of withdrawal.

I stare at the ground, not wanting to take anyone’s reaction in. I handle pity as well as I handle kindness.

“Do you think you could produce enough blue light for one ship?”

Looking up, I take in Kaz’s measured expression. I’m glad he’s sticking to business. I’d rather that than deal with unpacking all of that with a group of strangers that don’t care if I live or die.

“I could try.” I’ve never tried to protect anything that large. “Even if I can, it doesn’t mean a voyage like that will be safe.”

“There’s no real safety in the Fold,” he replies easily. Realistic expectations. That will make this easier. “No one finds out about her--especially not Pekka Rollins.”

I pull my arm towards my body, glad for the opportunity to hide the bruises. Signs of my weakness. The worst part was always the way Kenya would speak to me after. Pathetic. Weak. Trapped within the restraints of my flesh.

“Who’s Pekka Rollins?”

Kaz briefly turns his head in my direction. “No one that will ever concern you.” He ignores my annoyed huff. “We’ll use the Inferni to get to Alina Starkov.”

Alina. Alina Starkov. “What do you want with Alina?”

At that, the room seems to drain. I feel weirder than when they were seeing my abilities.

“You know her?” Jesper’s surprise reveals more than Kaz wants him to. I don’t miss the glare he receives.

I half-shrug. “We were in the same orphanage for awhile.”

“How did you get to Ketterdam?” I don’t trust Kaz’s urgency.

“I don’t remember, I was a child and I--I hit my head that night I think. I just woke up and I was with Kenya.”

“How well do you know Alina?”

There was a point in time in which she was my best friend. We learned how to braid hair by practicing on each other, we would draw maps together, and I was the only one who knew about her crush on Mal. “Not that well.”

He takes a step forward, eyes almost squinting. The touch of distrust is evident on his face. “If you’re lying I’ll find out.”

I owe Alina at least this. “Well then it’s a good thing I’m not.”

I’m not naive enough to believe that I’ve convinced him, but his intense gaze does not remain on me. I’m relieved when his attention is off of me, but he’s only moving on to start planning the riskiest thing I’ve ever done.

Taglist: @ambrosia-v-black

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thetonethetollandthethunder · 9 months

Text

Scythe chapter 16-20!!

Ayy we’re backk!! Let’s just get started shall we?

Chapter 16!!

-oh god the elegy—

-“Could you imagine me as a teenager?” OH YES I CAN OHOHO

-This also shows how much power scythes and especially Goddard has

-And also shows how bad of a scythe Goddard is as well

-this chapter didn’t have much but it IS good so ykyk

Chapter 17!!

-OHHH ITS THE MOMENT THAT EVERYONE LOSES THEIR MINDS OVER!! SCYTHE FARADAY IS D-D-DEAD or is he? :) :)

-Rowan instinctively trying to protect Citra!!!

-it makes sense for most disabilities to be nonexistent but that doesn’t mean I have to like it :/ like idk why the way it’s done is just :// especially as a disabled person myself

-The way the describe Faraday’d death is already suspicious if you already know he isn’t dead but when you’re first reading it, it does make sense!

-OH AND THE SEPARATE TRAININGS BEGINS!!!

-“If I ever take on an apprentice it will be for a different reason entirely.” OHOHO I KNOW I KNOWWWW

-Again not much to say BUT still rlly good!!

Chapter 18!!!

-Part 3 begins!!

-SCYTHE CURIE!!

-Again I always forget the names of these places, falling water is a very pretty name!!

-Citra being angry about Faraday’s death OUGH, she’s rlly going through 5 stages of grieve style

-Could you imagine ppl in the future calling our decor and shit old fashioned? Bizarre

-I love how they make Curie instantly charming and likable with only a few scenes, good writing man!!

-What hobbies would other scythes have? I wonder…

-Fun fact, i cannot drive, tried to learn and crashed the car, oh how I wish driving wasn’t necessary like in scythe

-Giving us little notes about the comfort scythes can give

-We hear a lot about being stagnant in the Scythe universe, and like, yeah, if you were in this utopia wouldn’t you grow stagnant even quicker than most? You have nothing to do literally

-You can really feel how observant Curie is, she noticed the small details

-Jesus even Curie’s yelling scared ME and I already knew what was gonna happen! She’s rlly intimidating—

-Gotta uphold your image!!

-“Another Scythe might have exacted a punishment far worse.” *COUGH COUGH GODDARD*

-Again shit names!! Barton Breen??? What??

-20 kids,, Jesus,,

-You can Curie’s own version of compassion, it’s different from Faradays yet still wonderful

-She did find her own way of gleaning!!

-Again FUCK Goddard!!

-I do wonder what would happen if Citra was trained by Goddard instead of Rowan…

-“Immortality has turned us all into cartoons.” GOD THAT LINEE

-Amazing chapter!! Told a LOT abt Curie!!!

CHAPTER 19!!!!

-Oo!! I thought this moment happened in Thunderhead but I misremembered!!

-Tho I THINK something similar happens??? Idk maybe my memory is fuckin with me ushejdj

-ALSO DAMN CITRA!! Pushin girls in front of TRUCKS holy fuck!!!

-Hate the eating descriptions!!

-TELL THE MOTHER YOU TWO!!! LIKE CMON??

-Cindy lmaoo, whenever someone whitewashes Citra im gonna call it Cindy instead <3 spite

-“err on the side of respect.” LMAO love that line

-RONDA ROADKILL IM DYINGGGGGG and so did she! (Temporarily but yk)

-“Can i throw you under a truck some other time?” She’s a busy person! I’d totally throw Citra under a truck! Would be fun!

-“the cloud” like icloud! Guess apple won in this world!

-“The machine had a purer soul than any human” NO IT DOESNT IVE SEEN AI ART YOU CANT FOOL ME!!!

-FUCK YOU SCYTHE GODDARD!!!

-OO TIME FOR CITRA TO INVESTIGATE!! I remember LOVING this plot so!!!!

Chapter 20!!

-Rowan finally!!! I missed you!!!!!

-He doesn’t wanna kill Citra!!! The beginning of his devotion to her UGHHH

-god hes only 17, I think we forgot how young these characters are, they really are just kids being pushed into this horrible situation god,,,

-He already wants to change things!! And he will!! He will change a lot, though not as much as his girlfriend!!

-VOLTA!!

-“So is there a reason why you choose your robes to be the color of piss?” HA one of my favorite lines!!

-“the Change” god their ideology—, the fact they’re all thinking that they’re changing things for the better really shows how convincing of a man Goddard is, GOD i hate him!!!

-Ans here we have Goddard’s MANY parties

-my sensory issues would hate this

-I accidentally spelled Goddard’s name as Goodard which…Isn’t that so Ironic?

-“Bimbotech” Neal I’m BEGGING you to stop

-“Rowan wondered if the man had a diamond-studded bathing suit in his waredrobe as well.” He would because he’s a vain prick!!

-HES UNDERAGE STOP GIVING HIM ALCOHOL!! *Looking at you RAND especially ya creep—*

-“He was lucky if they even remembered to get him a gift” rowans parents man,,, He was really fucking neglected man it’s so awful, and the fact he still cares about them despite that GODDD

-See how goddard bend the rules? See how he twists them to make them fit what HE wants? Yeah, he’s gonna do that a lot; again, fuck you Goddard

-ESME!!! Shes backk!! And he’s right! She’ll be important!!

-GOD this is a good chapter, rowan my beloved!!

And that’s it!!! Next time will be chapters 21-25!! We’re going so fast aren’t we?

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rodeo-boots · 3 years

Note

Hi there! Im not sure if I've requested from you before have I?

So I was wondering if I could have a one-shot Sadie/F!ChubbyReader? Something sweet that gets steamy.

I was thinking that it could be the readers having a rough time because she thinks she's unworthy of love and the fact that she's into women makes it even harder.

Take your time, no need to rush~

Feel free to message me if you cant/won't do this I understand Xx

You hadn't requested from me before, btw. BUT I really loved writing this one for you! I hope it's what you've been looking for <3 (I also hope there are no more errors left, I only proofread this once)

Rating: Explicit

Words: 2679

Warnings: NSFW, Low Self-Esteem Reader (Body-Image issues)

AO3

––––––––––––––––––––––

It was one of the rare occasions when camp was quiet, most gang-members fast asleep as darkness spread over Clemens Point.

You had missed the silence, already used to the rambunctious songs, to the laughter and chatter of the others. Even if those good times never were to last.

These days, it was hard to achieve happiness, to feel even remotely safe, your travels East having shaken the entire group to the core.

And sometimes, you wished you had stayed in the West, had bought land and settled down like you've planned, even if that might not have changed a thing.

When it was quiet, like now, your mind often wandered, drifted along with the sounds of rippling water.

It was nice here, better than it had been up at Colter, but you still felt out of place. And no amount of fresh air or crisp water could change that.

With a sigh, you leaned further against the log behind you, your arms crossed in front of your chest where you sat.

At least in the darkness, no one had to stare at you. Had to see you.

You could just be, with no obligations to be appealing to anyone at all.

Never before had Dutch sent you out to distract any targets, to use your good looks on unsuspecting fools like the other women at camp often did. Because you had none. Or so you told yourself.

Of course it was harsh, of course you had other things to offer. But with a couple pounds too many, with chub around your cheeks and your hips, you didn't feel as attractive as you wished you would be.

You envied Abigail, Mary-Beth, Karen, Tilly... if not for their appearance then for their confidence. And Sadie? Sometimes you wished you could walk a day in her shoes, that you could stop caring about what other people thought and put on some pants.

Though you feared you'd only get stared at more like that.

Time went by without you noticing. Maybe you've nodded off somewhere down the line, the sight of the water gleaming beneath the moonlight oddly tranquil and soothing to you.

Your thoughts continued to roam, continued to shift and flow like the water in front of you.

Occasionally, you'd see a fish jump out of the lake, would hear a nocturnal bird taking flight within the nearby trees. And you yearned to be free like them; free of judgment, of society's standards, and your own low self-esteem.

You wondered if they perceived beauty like humans did, if they stared down at the two-legged, wingless creatures, saw long and flowing hair idly whipping in the breeze, or a freckled face and bright eyes and fell in love.

It would be a loss if they didn't, if they were unable to see what you did – and you decided that maybe, being a human might not be all that bad.

Sure, all you could do was behold the beauty around you. You knew you would never get a chance of something more; knew you couldn't compliment the way Sadie's yellow blouse flattered her figure and receive more than a simple "thank you".

It had always been like that – you, finding beauty in another woman, finding beauty in her voice, the sparkle in her eyes and the way she strutted and sauntered along the way. You knew you couldn't change that, knew that you would never be 'normal', but hell, you didn't want to be. If there even was such a thing as normal.

In the past, and even up to the current day, you've struggled with it. With your sexuality.

You had come to terms with it, of course, but you knew that you only stood out more with your chosen way of life. If your body wasn't enough to keep people away, your orientation might just be, and it worried you, what the others might think should you ever come out to them.

It hadn't been your intention to grow upset, your brain doing it to yourself no matter what you tried to do about it.

So you sat and stared out onto the lake, gaze blank as you simply beheld the beauty all around. Watching, and doing nothing, as always.

The sound of boots upon sand drew you out of your thoughts, your head turning to see a familiar figure approaching.

She was tall, slim, her hair braided beneath her hat. A few strands hung loose, though that only held it's special charm.

"What're you doin' out here?" Sadie asked, sitting down on the fallen tree behind you. She kept a bit of a polite distance, crossing her legs as her elbows rested upon her propped up knee.

You swallowed softly, looked back ahead and out onto the wide lake. "Just thinking," you explained, unable to come up with anything else that might explain you being restless and awake at this time of day.

The other woman hummed, her own gaze trailing over the water in front of her.

It appeared black in the dark of night, only little light reflexes showing the movement of the soft waves.

"Did someone say somethin' again?"

Her sudden words brought you back to reality, the silence between you having stretched for a couple minutes before. It wasn't rare that the less pleasant people at camp upset you over your insecurities, pointed out facets of yourself that didn't need to be addressed.

You shook your head, anyhow. Today, that hadn't been the case. Besides, you never knew Sadie paid any attention to the treatment you received. "It's me," you mumbled after a moment of consideration. "Me who made me feel like crap."

And while you huffed at the words you spoke, they were genuine. Oftentimes, it was you who made your life harder than it had to be.

Sadie pushed herself off the log, plopped down into the slightly moist sand by your side. You watched her from the corners of your eyes, unsure what she was intending to do.

But she didn't do anything, merely sat with you and stared out into the water, thinking about what you had said before.

"I did that a lot," she eventually spoke up, turning to face you. "Guess it ain't the same, but I– sat and thought a lot, too. That never seemed to help." She chuckled, but the sound was rather mirthless, her tone more serious than anything.

You had seen her in the past, had seen her sitting outside of camp, far from anyone else. She's had a broken heart to nurse, had a terrible loss to get over, and in the end she had come out stronger than ever.

"You don't gotta tell me, if you don't want. Maybe it'd make you feel better, though."

Inhaling, you thought about her words, wondered if you would even be able to put your innermost thoughts and feelings into words.

Never before had someone asked you to share them, no one ever having as much of an interest in you as that.

"It's nothing," you tried to deflect, tried to invalidate your troubles in order to not burden Sadie with them here and now.

The woman snorted, however, raised a brow as she looked at you. "Don't look like nothin' to me," she pointed out, not impolitely.

"How about this–" she sat up, her back against the log as she gestured for you to come closer, to lean back against her chest.

For a moment you could only stare in disbelief, though you took the chance now that it was offered to you. It had been a while since you've last been physically close to anyone, after all.

"Comfortable?" Sadie asked. You gave her a nod, your heart racing in your chest and beating within your ears.

Holy Shit. That hadn't been how you'd imagined this night would go.

Sadie wrapped her arms around you loosely, rested her chin atop your head. She seemed content herself, seemed like she had wanted to do that for a long while. The thought made your heart skip a beat.

"I know you think you're worse than you are," Sadie spoke up again, keeping her voice low while speaking to you. It was oddly soothing, her usual rough tone sounding more than just pleasant to your ears. "But you ain't bad. Truth be told, I admire you."

That made you pause, your breath catching in the back of your throat. "Me? For what?"

She chuckled kindly, brushing through your hair to tuck a few strands behind your ear. "For knowin' who you are, and what you want. For stayin' true to yourself no matter what anyone says."

Yet again, you hadn't expected her to be all that perceptive, hadn't expected her to know much about you at all. For as long as you've known her, your conversations had been brief, cut short by your occasional shyness and nervosity. Sadie seemed to have read you better than you ever could've thought.

"I..." you weren't sure what to say, or if you should say anything at all. The woman's arms around you were soothing, almost soporific, though the warmth pooling within you made it hard to consider dozing off.

"I always wanted t'know more about you," Sadie continued, nuzzling the top of your head, her lips brushing over your strands of hair. "Wanted to know more 'bout the beautiful woman who's stolen my heart."

You were sure this had to be a dream, that you had passed out after all and your mind was playing tricks on you by now.

But Sadie felt as real as could be, her hot breath in the nape of your neck, her arms around your waist, thighs left and right of your hips. Whatever you had thought of before, all your insecurities and doubts, it all seemed far away by now.

"Me– Me, too," you brought out, confessing to your feelings without directly doing so. Sadie was more bold and confident than you were, was more brave and straight-forward in your eyes. And just like she had said before, you admired her just as well. But most importantly, you were sure you loved her.

Feeling enlivened by her words, empowered by the warmth swelling within your heart, you turned around, straddled her lap and properly looked her in the face. "I think I love you," you properly confessed, cupping her freckled cheeks like you've wished to do for so long already.

She smiled up at you, keeping her hands on your waist for now as she leaned in, and captured your lips with her own.

The kiss didn't last as long as you've wanted it to, but upon pulling away, Sadie spoke up again; "I know I love you." Her smile grew, your forehead resting on hers when you returned the gesture.

Once your lips had met the first time, you couldn't stop yourself from going in for a second kiss. Your eyes fluttered shut, fingertips gliding along Sadie's sides and down to the hem of her shirt. Now that you knew of her feelings towards you, and were fully certain as those within yourself, you only wanted more.

She reacted in kind, teased your tongue with hers when her lips parted ever so slightly, a moan slipping into the kiss. You weren't sure if it had come from you or her, but that didn't matter much, not when your hands soon met bare skin, fingers gripping her sides while her own ran along your thighs.

"You wanna do this right here?" She asked, leaning back a little to capture your stare.

Slightly out of breath, you nodded. Hell, you didn't care where you'd do this, as long as you could feel her skin on yours.

Without missing a beat, Sadie worked on helping you out of your dress, glancing back, only to make sure camp was as quiet as it had been before.

Even if a few drunkards were still milling about, you couldn't care less, your fingers working on her buttons to relieve her off her top layer, before climbing off her lap to get her pants off her hips.

Naked, you laid back in the sand, invited her to follow you only for her lips to meet yours again. She placed her hat on top of your head, gave you a small smirk as her lips wandered lower, over your collarbone and down to your chest.

Moving boldly, her mouth latched onto one nipple right away, one hand kneading the other breast while she suckled and licked your sensitive bud.

Your breath hitched, spine curving to get closer to her heavenly mouth, your head already swimming without her having done too much just yet.

Soon enough, she had stimulated your other nipple to full hardness as well, laying down on her side next to you, and pulling you in for another kiss. "Let's keep this quiet," she muttered, her fingeres wandering once again until they reached your sex, a hum leaving her lips when she discovered the hot wetness there.

She caressed your folds, encouraged you to hitch one leg up and around her hip while coating her fingers within your slick. Slowly, her fingers circled your clit, made your hips jerk sporadically and your muscles tense here and there.

"Can I?" You had only pulled away from the kiss for a second, glancing at her while your fingers slid down her flat stomach.

"Be my guest," she grumbled, trailing lovebites along your collarbone and up to your shoulder, the small motions of her fingers on your clit steadily driving you insane.

To offer her the same kind of pleasure, your hand soon found the spot between her legs, met with an equal wetness as that between your own. You groaned, teasingly gliding your fingers through her folds before your thumb focused solely on her nub.

She gasped, almost sounding surprised, like she hadn't been touched there in a while, though that only spurred you on more. You wanted her to feel as good as possible, pulling away after another few moments only to propose another idea.

"I wanna taste you," you muttered, fingers disappearing from her soaked cunt as you laid back. Seemingly catching on right away, Sadie climbed on top, straddling your face while hers was right in front of your own crotch.

With the new position, you dove in without a moment's hesitation, held onto her hips and pulled her close as your tongue licked through her folds and up to her nub.

She moaned out, had to have bitten down on her lip to keep more sounds from surfacing before she leaned down herself, and focused on your clit right away.

Besides the sounds of your actions, the occasional slurping, squelching and your labored breaths, it was still mostly quiet, the area belonging solely to you in this moment.

You rolled your hips upwards, chased more of the heavenly feeling of her mouth on you as you felt yourself getting close.

Clearly, Sadie wasn't all that far, either, her abdominal muscles flexing while her thighs tried to squeeze your head, the motions of her tongue growing more desperate the closer she got to her climax.

It was over much too quickly, had been too long for you to hold back at all, your body tensing for a moment before releasing in a rush of endorphins that was better than anything you've had before.

You pulled back for air, slipped two fingers into Sadie's tight cunt to grant her a satisfying release as well, and watched, when she shook and trembled through her very own orgasm.

She rolled off of you after a moment, cursing under her breath as she did so.

It wasn't long before she crawled back up to you, however, before her lips met yours and you could taste yourselves upon each other's tongue.

"You fancy a midnight swim?" She asked when she pulled away, sitting back on her knees and helping you up when you agreed.

#Sadie Adler #Sadie Adler x female Reader #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 fanfiction #nsft #my writing #rdr2 requests #tw body negativity #anarchist-lolita

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