#im too stressed out about school to think about my feelings or partners or anything like that. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lvvcian · 10 months

Note

hello!! :D this is my first request ever so im sorry if i worded it or did it wrong. also english is not my first language so im sorry if this makes no sense.

i have a request for The disastrous life of saiki k with a romantic saiki x reader(gender neutral) pairing.

Heres my idea! so aiura and toritsuka start seeing some girl constantly following saiki during school and aiura and toritsuka are like “😨⁉️ lets help him get away from this stalker!” so aiura and toritsuka start doing dumb goofy stuff to sabotage the reader from following saiki and in the end it is revealed that saiki and the reader are dating so reader and saiki have been talking telepathically so it just LOOKS like the reader has been tailing saiki. so yea basically crack fic💀

maybe as a little bonus you could include some fluff between saiki and reader<3

────────────────────

☆ aaah the famous trio <3 also first Saiki fic, very happy about it c:

☆ I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG :'C it's 1:33am here, so I'm sorry if the ending is shitty , no energy fr but wanted to finish this today ":/

☆ (tw! slight bulling and not cool jokes ; swearing) ; gender neutral reader , fluff, crack fic ; Saiki has longer hair in here! Just a lil bit :)

☆ saiki talking normally ; saiki speaking in your mind ; your thoughts

☆ enjoy <3

"Do you think we should tell some people about... y'know" You looked up at Saiki. It was a normal sunday and you two were supposed to have a so called 'date' (which was sitting in comfortable silence at some cafe and enjoying each others company). But the weather had some other plans and once you stepped outside it started to rain. Of course Saiki could've change it in matter of seconds but he suggested to stay at home. They were too many people from his school on the mainstreet anyway.

"And draw attention to ourselves? Definitly not. We just have to keep the distance between us for school time ..." Saiki looked down at you. Who would've thought that Saiki out of all people would be the first to have a partner. "Enjoy while you can... I'll teleport you on the roof if you hug me at school..." you just giggled and snuggled up closer into his chest.

It couldn't be that bad... right?

──────────────────── ☆

Monday mornings weren't your favourite, at all. Shitty weather, cold shower and not so great breakfast. It was all making you fell even worse then you felt already.

It wasn't something natural for you to wake up in the middle of the night, but today your body felt extremely stressed. Something didn't let you sleep, your thoughts were going miles per hour and you could feel your whole body getting colder with every second (which was weird 'cause the temperature in the room was pretty high).

So you got up, rolled yourself in a blanket and went to close your window hoping it would get at least warmer, but as you walked up to it and started opening it...

"Holy shit..!" You backed away from the wall and fell on your back. There's was something standing right outside your window. It was horrible, like a ghost or a monster. It didn't matter at that time, you quickly run up to to window again and looked around your backyard.

There wasn't a single soul, just a stray cat walking around. You sat down on the floor and hold your face trying to calm yourself down.

After few minutes you were finally feeling better and decided to go back to sleep. At least try.

You were near PK Academy when you saw your lovely psychic and two other people. If you remember correctly one was a medium and the other... fortune teller?

"Its... Aiura and Toritsuka if I'm not mistaken. Should I say hi? Or just-"

"Don't do anything. They're already being very suspicious of you. Just walk past us as normal as you can. I'll meet with you at lunch." It wasn't something new for you to hear Saiki in your head. You didn't know why he was communicating like that, but you accepted it after a while.

"Sure, see you later then. I love you!" you saw Saiki close his eyes and shake his head a little, but you could see a faint smile forming on his lips

Giggling you walked past the trio with a small smile and went inside the building. Quickly you changed your shoes for school ones and headed to your classroom. You greeted some people on the way, saying 'hi' or just nodding at them.

Soon you saw Saiki entering the room too with Aiura. He looked at you, gave you a soft and quick smile and sat not far away from you.

──────────────────── ☆

Around 2pm lunch break started. Saiki immediatly left the classroom, avoiding his friends and went to your meeting spot, which was next to vending machines near the caffeteria.

As he got there, you were nowhere to be seen. He saw you packing your things and leaving right after him so he thought you would be there in few seconds.

Few seconds turned into few minutes and then into half of the break.

"Where are they... they couldn't forget about it, right?" Saiki checked his phone for second time, scrolling through your messages and refreshing them. Even if you'd be late he would got a text about it, but there was nothing.

He tried to focus on your thoughts, but it was immposible with so many people around. He sighed at went to bathroom, locked himself in one of the cabins and used his 'crossed eye thingy' as you called it.

"What...?" He got up and teleported to you, making sure no one was around. You were sitting on the ground, all wet and cold, in one of the hallways. Your clothes were all soaked which made you shiver and Saiki knew you'd be sick in few days.

"What happened? Why are you sitting here all wet?" He said and kneeled next to you as he took your face in his hands, holding it gently. "Are you... crying?" He asked, but your lack of answer told him everything. He took your hand, helped you get up and brushed off some of wet hair from your face.

He held you tightly as he teleported you to your room. Saiki went to your wardrobe, grabbed some dry clothes and a towel and then went back to you. He started to gently dry your hair and your cheeks from tears. You were looking everywhere but not him, which made him worried.

"y/n, what is it? What happened, please tell me." He kneeled down and looked at you with soft gaze. You looked away and closed your eyes.

"I went to get some documents for teacher... I forgot to tell you about it. I-I don't know how... some stupid bucket of water was on the door to the class." Saiki noded and rubbed your back as he sat next to you. He thought for a second and shook his head.

"Just... stay here, ok? I'll go make you some tea" Saiki got up and went to the kitchen. He didn't care about school right now, he would deal with that later.

Day passed with sometimes even worse 'jokes' and incidents. Sometimes it was missing shoes, sometimes weird notes. At night you felt this weird feeling of being watched as cold air got into your house. You woke up with cold sweat on your face from nightmares and night terrors.

Saiki heard about everything, comforting you day after day. He didn't know why it happened, weirdly he couldn't find any person with thoughts of making another prank to you. It pissed him off a lot.

"I'm staying at home for few days... you can come meet me after classes." You said to Saiki as you covered yourself under the blankets. The temperature in your house was incredibly low which made you wear your warmest hoodie and cuddle into the softest and thickest blanket at your place.

"I'll be there soon..." Saiki answered. His voice was cold , but you could swear you heard some concern in it. You chuckled and buried yourself in the blanket.

Saiki was getting closer to the bathroom, making sure no one followed him or saw him. He could become invisible, but that would take too much time.

As he went inside one of the cabins, he took out his phone and checked his messages. There were few of yours, he could tell you were really bored, one from his mom and one from Aiura.

"Aiura? What does she want now...?" Saiki opened the chat, read the message and sighed. She wanted him to help out with something. "Good grief, right now?" He grumbled while texting you that he would be later.

Future teller told him to come behind the school. He got there and looked at her with bored eyes. It was a really pain in the neck to help with some irrelevant things...

"What is it?" He said with neutral and cold tone.

"Oh! Finally you're here! We need some help to... hang something." She said as she looked up.

"We?" Pink haired boy asked, quickly realising who was the other person. He rolled his eyes annoyed. He should be there with you by now... but no, he's stuck with two idiots behind the school. "Nevermind... I don't care, it's your problem."

He started walking away, not listening to Aiuras pleading and some offers (although they did grab his interests for a second or two). He shook his head and was already next to school corner.

"Saiki it's for your good! We're doing this to help you!" Kusuo heard another, not really pleasant, voice from above. "We've seen someone smiling and looking at you all the time! It's giving a creep vibe, you know?"

Toritsuka looked at Saiki from the top of the rooftop. Psychic stopped walking and looked at them both with confused look. "Stalking? What are you talking about..?"

"You didn't see it? There's this one creep whose staring at you in every class! They smile randomly when looking at you and sometimes even blushing! It's just... Ew!" auira said as she got closer to saiki. He frowned a little.

"Me and Mikoto have been making some pranks from time to time. One time we've scared them at night! I asked some ghost for help and spooked them!" Toritsuka chuckled, remembering the look on your scared face.

Saiki didn't say anything, he only grabbed his friends by the shoulders harshly and teleported them to your place.

"O-Oi Saiki! What are you doing man?" He didn't answer, only knocked gently on your door. He could've teleported directly to your room, but he didn't want to scare you with... his nuisances.

You jumped a little as you heard soft knocking.

"Probably saiki." You got up, still cuddled up in a blanket and went to the door. "Finally you-" You cut your sentence as you saw your boyfriend holding his two friends by their shoulders tightly. " Kusuo why are your friends with you?"

He didn't say anything, just got inside your place and leading his friends to the living room. You didn't know what was going on at.all. Saiki never brought his friends. Even Kaidou or Nendou which were much closer to saiki then Aiura.

you walked behind the three of them. Saiki dropped them near the couch and looked at it. You sat down and started asking questions.

"What's going on? Is everything alright? You could've told me you were bringing your friends, I would prep-"

"They're here to apologize to you." His friends looked at him surprised. Saiki sounded like it was an obvious intention.

"Apologize? Saiki, this person was-"

"They're my partner. We've been together for... some time now." Saiki said, looking away. He thought this 'announcement' would look different. Well he didn't thought about those two..

"Partner? Saiki actually pulled someone?" Toritsuka said, but he got quiet right after his head was hit with one of the cans from the table. "What?! You never told us about having someone! How could we know!" Toritsuka said rubbing his head.

"R-Right! We thought it was some kind of stalker or a creep...!" Aiura wad explaining their motives to Saiki and you thought about all the stuff that happened 'cause of them.

"Saiki it's alright, they didn't know. Maybe you should let go." Even tho you wanted to see what kind of punishment those two would get, you couldn't bring yourself to. Damn your good nature and big heart.

Your boyfriend looked at you and sighed. He loosened his grip and let his friends go. Saiki didn't expect that to happen. He really wanted to send Aiura and Toritsuka on deserted island and leave them for few days. But that would be against his principals... unfortunately.

──────────────────── ☆

"I told you we should have said something..."

It was pretty late when you and Saiki cuddled together on his bed. The night was peaceful with clear sky and bright moon. It was nice and warm, even if it was middle of February.

You had your head on saikis chest as he played with your hair. He had his eye closed, resting them a little. His pink bangs fell on his glasses covering his nose and tickling his cheeks. He looked peaceful and relaxed. Finally after a week he wore his ring so there was no thought in his head. No annoying ideas, thoughts or questions. Only silence.

"Yeah... sorry I didn't know sooner.." Saiki looked at you with soft look. His eyes were half closed and his face was decorated with gentle smile. Kusuo being the 'tusndere' he is doesn't really smile often, but when he does toy cherish those few seconds. "Could've stopped them and prevent this whole thing..."

"Don't be, at least they know now." You looked up and placed few kisses on his jaw and face. He hummed in response, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. "Thank you for looking out for me.." You said as you finally planted last kiss on his lips.

"Always..." he smiled and cuddled you closer to him. He made the lights turn off and closed the curtains. You were finally able to have a peaceful and good night sleep and he would be damned if Saiki didn't try making it even better for you.

"I love you.."

──────────────────── ☆

reblogs are very much appreciated<33 thank you for reading ☆

798 notes · View notes

phantom-0-writer · 8 months

Text

*standing menacingly at the door* i made u something

anyways lol. i had a lot of school work and was really busy freaking out and stress studying for a singular test that was 4 questions and would be over in like an hour and then i proceeded to cry about it in my car for various reasons.

but yk what that means!

time for our irregular and unscheduled update of

Gotham Academy's Mentorship Program

this episode featuring a fan favorite: Duke Thomas (aka The Signal - but thats kind of irrelevant for this)

you were supposed to read that like it was from a '90s sitcom and the off screen crowd cheers rly loudly.

some house keeping updates: this scene happens in the beginning of the school year (going by the american system should be september) danny meets damian (and upsurges tim on the same day) around midterm which is around october and then the stuff with jason and damian's drawing happens around december. i kinda accidentally burned the irl timeline for anything dc first scene so now im just gonna do whatever i want.

anyways with out further ado:

table of contents

scene 04: after school activities for normal kids

Duke stood around the corner of the classroom awkwardly, wondering if he had made the right call. Sure the bats and the birds had a plethora of hands on deck any time, but most of them specialized as night time heros. Not to say that they were incompetent or anything, they were some of the most skilled and innovative people Duke had ever had the pleasure of meeting. Sure if anything happened, they could handle it, at least until Duke could slip away and show up as the Signal- Alfred and Bruce had assured him so much. But Duke couldn’t slip the guilt of busying away more of his time to after school activities when he could be patrolling or studying instead,

But Duke had wanted to do something outside of those things, which was specifically why he had made the difficult decision to join a few clubs and after school activities. He could use a break from being surrounded by people who worked the vigilante life-style just to remember how to be a normal civilian. Let himself take a break from constantly be consumed by one case or another, one disaster or another, not being able to do enough no matter how much he tried or how much time he spent patrolling.

Duke needed to feel grounded, like his feet were on the ground and he could press the brakes and smell the fragrance of life. Even if the fragrance was a forgotten pile of dog s-

“Alright,” The instructor for their culinary club started with a weird German accent that sounded really fake. “I am Herman. You can call me Chef or Chef Herman or just Chef. I will not bore you all with the boring introductions, and let's head right into the cooking, yes. On this paper here I made the partners for all of you to cook with for the rest of the year. If you have problem with it then quit.”

This Herman guy seemed like quite the character, and was definitely not helping any of Duke’s previous anxieties. Many of Duke’s clubmates seem to think so too, sending their friends various looks. But no one spoke out, and instead shuffled to the front to look at the singular sheet of paper that would assign them their partners. Duke finally made it to the front and saw that he was paired with a Daniel Fenton at Station 7.

Crossing his fingers that Daniel had at least only a half-rotten personality, Duke made his way over to station 7. The station was already prepped with an assortment of ingredients and cooking equipment. Duke had already set his stuff down claiming the seat closer to the exit (in case) when a lanky kid comes over, “Uh, your Duke Thomas?” He asks hesitantly looking back at the front counter the partner assignment sheet was.

It took Duke an awkward second longer to realize that this kid was probably his partner. “Oh yeah I am.” He laughed apologetically, “You must be Daniel.”

“Danny’s fine.” The boy smiled, absentmindedly brushing his messy black hair out of his face, his glacier blue looking at the equipment. Duke couldn’t help but feel like there was something off about Danny. Not in Gotham’s usual psycho-maniac-out-to-terrorizer-the-city-and-kill-innocent-people kind of off, more in a he’s not in sync with the rest of the world off. While Chef Herman explained the general structure of various types of kitchen and kitchen hierarchy that Duke was already familiar with, Duke tried to get a read on him.

Weird did not mean threat, after all many of the Justice League- heck even the local Wayne/Batclan were pretty weird- and they (usually) didn’t mean any harm. It wouldn’t be fair of Duke to jump the horse like that.

Deciding he should try to be friendly with him, Duke leaned over, “Is it just me or is Chef Herman’s accent totally fake?” he whispered.

“Oh, Ancients,” Anciets? “I thought I was just going insane.” Danny sighed in relief with a small chuckle. There was a moment of silence between the two of them where no one said anything for longer than socially acceptable and Duke debated using his powers to see if he could find a clue or something. That seemed kinda invasive, though.

When the Chef had started instructions on making today's recipe, Chocolate Chip Cookies, Danny helped Duke measure out the ingredients. “So,” Danny tried again, “What are you in for?”

“What am I…” Duke repeated confused,

Danny chuckled awkwardly, “Like why you joined the club.”

Duke seriously needed to get his head in the present; this was getting embarrassing. “Oh.” He nodded in understanding, “I’ve always liked cooking,” Duke shrugged, “When I was little my parents and I would always cook together, and it was always one of my favorite things to do. And I’ve kinda always liked it, but I fell off of it for a while with school and stuff,” emphasis on the stuff “I thought joining a club could help me get back into it and get away from… everything.” That was a little more candid than Duke had planned on being with someone he had met quite literally a few minutes ago, but it felt good to have that out of his chest. The pleasant memories of his parents swimming in his mind. Mixing the dry ingredients, “Sorry that was kind of a lot.” Duke laughed genuinely this time.

“Dude, no it’s actually so cool that you like to cook.” Danny said admiration was easy on his face, and Duke couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed.

“What about you, then?”

“Ugh,” He groaned jokingly, “You can’t seriously be asking for my lame ass reason after you pulled out the flashbacks.” Danny whined, letting the oven preheat like Chef told them to.

“C’mon, it’s only fair.” Duke played along, already ahead of the other groups.

Danny sighed, “Promise you won’t laugh.”

“Okay, it can’t be that bad.” Duke could already feel the smile cracking on his face.

“It is.” Danny drawlled, “So I live in the dorms right, and I got to pull some strings and room with one of my friends from back home this year. And well, let’s just say my family has a bit of a reputation for causing problems, and the kitchen definitely wasn’t an exception. One time my dad tried to make some soup for my mom because she got sick.” Duke nodded approvingly, that was a sweet gesture, “It was all fun and games until the bomb squad had to show up and long story short we had to move.”

“You’re joking.” Duke gaped at the bizarre story, but at Danny’s solemn expression, Duke couldn’t help but be appalled, “A bomb squad over soup.”

“My parents were never really heavy on lab safety,” Danny added, as if that explained everything, “But I burn one pot of water and maybe make a few extra-crispy eggs, and suddenly its all ‘Danny you’re not allowed in the kitchen unless you start taking actual classes’ and ‘Danny that's a biohazard’.”

“You burned a pot of water.” Duke echoed, Danny nodded innocently, “Water doesn’t burn.”

“Well, maybe you’re just not trying hard enough.” Danny sneered, trying to crack an egg on the corner of the bowl only for all the shell to fall in the bowl and the yolk on the counter.

“Somehow, I don’t think that’s true.” Duke said, taking the bowl from him and expertly cracking an egg single handedly. Danny looked on in awe. “You said you live in the dorms?” Duke asked easily.

“Oh yeah, all of the non-local scholarship kids have to.”

Before Duke could respond, a girl from the station in front of them whips her head around, “You said you’re here on a scholarship?” She asked almost oppressively.

Danny just as taken aback as Duke felt, “Uh, yeah.”

“Me, too. Have you heard anything about the Mentorship Program here? Apparently we all have to join.” The girl’s partner was looking between Duke and Danny confused, but returned to their cooking uninterested.

“Oh, yeah. They make us all join.” Danny nodded.

“I heard from some of the older kids, that no one actually gets picked for that. It’s just like a weird formality thing.” The girl spoke animatedly, “What department are you in?”

“Applied physics and engineering design.” The oven beeps that it was ready but no one moved.

The girl seemed to deflate that answer, “Oh, I’m doing culinary science.” And with that solid conclusionary statement, she turned around and got back to her work station.

Danny blinked, processing what just happened and slowly turning to look at Duke for proof that just happened. But the second the both of them met each other’s eyes, they burst into a fit of silent laughter.

Bent vunuralably over the table, trying to catch their breath, they were accosted by Chef Hermon. “The two of you are having a comedy club, not a cooking club.” Chef crossed his arms at the edge of the table. Duke was pretty sure he was trying to sold them, but the fake accent was making it hard to tell.

Danny cleared his throat and striated up, “Sorry, Sir.” He apologized quickly.

“Chef.” Hermon peered at them, his hat looking comically large and lopsided on his head now that Duke was getting a closer look.

“Sorry, Chef.” Duke amended, trying to keep his cool.

“Yes, finish cooking your cookies.” He nodded satisfied, leaving their station.

“Okay so,” Duke tried to recount what the last thing they did was, but one look at Danny trying desperately to hold in his laugh had ruined all of Duke’s efforts as well. Barely managing to get their cookies in the oven, over Chef’s fake german accent and floppy oversized chef’s hat.

“So scholarship for applied physics and engineering design, huh.” Duke recounted from earlier, impressed.

“Yeah…” Danny trailed off embarrassed, “It sounds kinda snotty.”

“Dude. That’s literally one of the hardest departments to get into, and the scholarship is no sneeze either. There’s no doubt you worked your butt off to get that.” Duke assured Danny as they sat in their stools waiting for the cookies to finish.

“Thanks,” Danny smiled sheepishly. They sat in a much more comfortable silence now before Danny spoke again, “What grade are you in by the way?”

“I’m in 10th. General studies for now, but I was thinking of doing medicine. You?”

“I could totally see you as a hot-shot doctor.” Danny nodded approvingly, “11th. Technically, I’m your upperclassman then.”

“Technically?” Duke asked.

“I mean, how old are you?”

“15.” Duke supplied confused.

“Me too. I skipped a grade in elementary school, so we’re actually the same age.” Danny explained, sheepishly.

“Dude, you're actually way smart.” Duke gaped in awe.

“Hey medicine isn’t a day walk either.” Danny nudged his arm playfully, “I’m glad the mentorship thing is just for show, though. Now that we’re upperclassmen, y’know. I would not want my hands full with some random rich kid.”

Duke laughed, “Yeah, that definitely sounds like a lot of work.”

Easily unfolding the conversation into various topics and interests Duke found that he didn’t mind that the cookies were burnt. Or that Danny was definitely weird. But in a good way. Duke was glad they met and would get to hang out and cook with their weird not-German Chef every week. And if Danny and Duke exchanged numbers and planned to hangout outside of club activities, then well who was going to stop them.

#a little fluff to make our day better #duke and danny #the world definitely needs more of them #they start off a little shaky but their bffs at the end #danny heard the chef's weird accent and thought it was bc of time travel shenanigans and decided it was just best not to comment on that #duke will def be rubbing his friendship with danny in the other bat's faces once he gets indoctrinated #jack blew up his house over chicken noodle soup and no one lets him live it down #Gotham Academy's Mentorship Program #dpxdc #dp x dc au #batpham #danny phantom #duke thomas #signal #phantom

414 notes · View notes

bugboysgf · 1 year

Text

Hate + Love

Chapter 2

series masterlist

Previous chapter

Summary: There is a thin line between love and hate but what if it's way thinner than you thought?

“Hi, im suppose to be tutoring somebody.” you told the lady at the front desk. The last 2 weeks had been stressful but out of extreme luck you managed to get all A’s but that also meant you had to tutor the people that were not doing so well in school.

“Oh yes, you must be Y/n.”

“I am.” you confirmed.

“Min Ho.” The lady calls his name and he jumps out of his seat.

“You gotta be kidding me.” you look at Min ho and he seems just as surprised as you are. “There has to be some sort of mistake, I can't tutor him.” the lady looks at her computer for a second and looks back at you.

“Sorry but there is a specific note from the teacher saying you can't switch.”

“What? Who wrote that.” you asked.

“It was your math teacher. Take a seat and get started.”

“I can't believe this.” you said sitting down.

“Do you think I want to do this? I have no choice.” Min ho rolled his eyes.

“Whatever can we just get started.”

After two hours tutoring you were done but to you i feel like 5 hours because every 10 minutes you and Min ho were arguing about something different.

“Thank you.” Min Ho says. You look at him in shock, you were never expecting those words to come out of his mouth.

“You have manners, I see. Can I get an apology too?” you asked hopefully.

“It happened almost 3 weeks ago, get over it.”

“God you're such a bitch.”

“Takes one to know one.”

—-

“We have Alex next.” Kitty said. “Oh my god we still have to walk up the stairs.” you said, you were tired already and it was only your 2 period.

“Do you want to go to a ramen place after the 5th period?” Kitty asked.

“Im Pretty sure I don't have to tutor today, so yes.”

“How is it? By the way, you are still not getting along.”

“Nope now i have to sit with him in alex class, because he wont let me change seats.” you rolled your eyes.

“Dude you have 4 months left until winter break, at least try to stop hating each other.”

“He's the problem, not me, he won't apologize. He said thank you yesterday when i tutored him but that's it.” you explained to Kitty. You honestly don't think that you and Minho would get along every chance he gets to make fun of you. He's gonna take it and you're tired of it.

“The problem is that you are both stubborn.” Kitty grabs the handle of the door and lets you into the class, she gives you a ‘be nice look’ and takes a seat.

You walked over to your seat and to your surprise Min Ho was already sitting down, he was always late. You take a seat and don't say a word to him.

“No greeting?” he asked

“What do you want?” you say in a cold tone.

“Woah, somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.” he smirks.

“I just don't have time for your bullshit today.”

Lucky Alex didn't have you guys do anything with your partner work today you didnt think you could handle it anyways.

You grabbed your things and stuffed them into your backpack.

“y/n?” you stopped in your tracks and looked at the guy that called your name. Minho also stopped and looks at him.

“Yes?” you look at him confused. You've never seen this guy in your life and you had no idea why he was talking to you.

“I'm Derek, I was just trying to see if i can get your number.” you look around to see if anybody was watching and behind him were his friends waiting to see your next move. You didn't want to seem stuck up or anything, so you just smiled and typed your number into his phone.

“Great, I'll text you.”

“Cool” you watch him walk away and turn to Min ho. “And why did you stay?”

“What does he want with you?” “What do you mean?”you asked, confused.

“His dad is literally a millionaire.”

“I honestly dont give two fuck about that.” you said.

“It had to be a dare.” Min ho shook his head.

“Oh really? Just because an attractive guy asked for my number that means it has to be a dare?” you said offended. Min ho knew he messed up, he always jokes around but he knew that what he said really affected you.

“That's not-”

“Save it.” you walked away.

—

For the next few weeks you continue talking to Derek, you thought he would be a jerk but turns out he wasn't. He was really nice and listened.

“Where are you going?” Min ho asked Q. “Oh the nature club is having a hike today.” Q said, putting on his shoes.

“Great i'll come” Min ho got up from the couch. “You can't.” Q said.

“Why?” “Club members only.” “Dude i went last time.” Q stayed silent and didn't say anything. “Unless you don't want me to go for some reason?” “It's not that I don't want you to go, it's just that y/n and Derek are going to be there and I don't want you messing it up for her. She told me what you said when he asked for her number.” Q confessed.

“That's not what I meant, I tried to tell her that.”

“You should have said it in the first place, are you jealous or something?” Q asked.

“What no… no”

“Yup that sounds so convincing.”

“I don't like her, I hate her.”

“You know, you can hate and love somebody at the same time.” Q said shutting the door.

Min ho stood there thinking there's no way that he loves y/n? He hates her too much.

#minho #min ho x reader #min ho x y/n #min ho x kitty #min ho #short story #neflix #Netflix x reader #xo kitty x reader #xo kitty #xo kitty fanfic #to all the boys trilogy #to all the boys series #sang heon lee x reader #sang heon lee

363 notes · View notes

mariomarc · 21 hours

Text

There's a fucked up thing I'm dealing with where I realize that I'm actually really hot, and that has put standards in my head that I feel I can't live up to.

As a 29 year old dude, I feel like society has put a lot of specific expectations on someone like me to be out there, be successful with relationships and sex, that's what a young guy does, apparently.

I've spent a large chunk of my youth being very anti-social, didn't want to talk to people my age growing up, spent a few years home schooled, and I was someone who took life lessons from cartoons too seriously as a kid.

When I heard the lesson, don't be arrogant and prideful, I took that to mean I should never compliment myself.

So, I didn't have confidence, I didn't talk to people, and I didn't really get how anything worked until I started being an adult.

What I'm struggling with I guess is.

I wish I could flirt with and be sexual with people without having an anxiety attack about the idea.

I keep thinking I need to perform perfectly, I have to be sexy, I have to say the right things, if I can't give my partner an orgasm I've failed, if I don't last long enough during sex I've failed.

I suppose also I probably saw porn way younger than I should have, and probably too much, because that certainly didn't help my mindset.

And as I said at the start of this, I am actually a hot dude, I am coming to understand this, and in a way it makes it worse, because I know people who would have sex with me, and somehow I wish I wasn't hot so I didn't have to deal with that idea, and the expectations that are stuck in my head with it.

Like, if I was ugly I wouldn't even worry about it, I wouldn't think I'd ever have sex, and I'd somehow be less stressed, but no, I

Wow this sounds really arrogant and douchey, doesn't it?

"Oh im too hot woah is me"

Jesus christ...

I don't want to come off as an asshole, because I'm genuinely not that prideful or confident, I wish I was.

2 notes · View notes

yandere-sins · 1 year

Note

Do you currently live in Germany? Is smoking very prevalent there and for underage kids too? I know drinking is pretty common from what i heard but idk. Not judging btw just curious lol! I like your story times 😂 im still reeling over the cheater guy

I do live in Germany, and I'll probably never move away if I'm honest. Most other countries really don't appeal to me and I have my family and friends here, so no real reason to move. If I do get the chance to marry outside of my home country (which would be very appreciated personally), I don't think I would move away from all the benefits (unless my partner turns out to be finnish or smth, upgrades are fine lol).

However, I can't tell you how it is these days with kids, I am too old to actually know what's going on and too young to have my own lol. These days it might be a bit more prevalent than in the past, especially with parents too. Back in my school time it was more of a "cool kids" activity and there weren't that many kids in every class who were active smokers. I wasn't a cool kid per se but I had a lot of friends that were and they were smokers so occasionally I'd join and eventually it turned into social smoking with others, and then when I started working and there were benefits to being a smoker (more breaks, the stress would lift a bit, everyone was doing it so it was another way to socialize) I committed to it. But there were lots of struggles like parents who were still firmly against it, how to get cigarettes (you'd need to ask someone who was older or had connections), hiding it from parents and teachers. It was quite an ordeal. But like I said, no idea what is going on with the youth today.

Also "drinking is pretty common", is probably a stretch ^^' I did go out a lot as a teenager, but mostly on the weekend. I think a lot of people think giving teenagers the ability to buy beer and wine with 16 will automatically make them alcoholics but back when we did it, it really was more of a weekend party thing. And even then, most of my friends knew their limits and personally, I never met someone with alcohol poisoning while underage. It also was an ordeal as well because we'd only be able to drink outdoors or if one of the parents allowed it (but they'd usually supervise us), so if it rained or was winter, tough luck. And we got shooed away constantly. Sometimes we'd change the location 3-5 times a night because someone felt offended by the volume or us just hanging out casually. And there was only one 16+ club in all of the city, and I lived pretty far from it so there was almost an hour drive to and from to calculate, while also needing to be at home at midnight.

At the same time, when I finally turned 18 and got to drink harder stuff I pretty much knew my limits. I never threw up and can hold my liquor well, also don't suffer from hangovers, though recently I started getting stomach aches from wine so I'm refraining. I basically only drink cocktails, sparkling wine and seldomly whiskey at this point, and so rarely that it's hardly worth mentioning. I remember drinking a cocktail when Suzume came out in the cinema, so in April, and nothing since then lol I think the experience really helps you get better with these kinds of substances, and you learn to use them healthily if you're not drowning your feeling in them and just have fun like they are meant for.

I will tell you tho, the most garbage drink I used to have is Aperol Cola. No idea why my friend thought that was good. It's disgusting, overly sweet and bitter at the same time, literally nauseating, unhealthy af, and has no good quality about it. Especially when it gets warm, blergh. Do not recommend. You'll never drink Aperol again after that.

Looking back at it, partying was exhausting and even now where I'm free to do whatever I want, I never go to a club anymore because it's just a waste of my time tbh lol

But I really can't tell you how it is these days with the teenagers. If anything I see more smokers but very, very little drinkers. Something definitely changed, but maybe I'm just not in the right places to actually notice it.

Also, I'm glad you enjoy the story times! They are literally just silly anecdotes of a stranger, but it's still nice to reminiscence sometimes ^^

#Admin

9 notes · View notes

italic-doing-random-shit · 6 months

Note

im too lazy to read all those questions so all of them

well fuck here we go

this took me three days-

1: Whats your biggest insecurity?

I've got three; my body(I feel too feminine), peoples true feelings in me, and my work ethic and effort

2: Biggest physical insecurity?

My chest/torso area

3: Do you like the person your becoming?

Yeah, I like the life I'm working towards is good and i can't wait to live in it

4: Whats the one thing that you thar everyone but you can do?

Actually get peoples attention irl, my voice isn't very loud

5: Do you suffer from anxiety/depression/ptsd/etc?

Yes, I used to, and I think so.

6: Where were you born?

Southern Texas, much more humid

7: What do you think people say behind your back

No good stuff, but that might be the anxiety

8: Do you look up to anyone?

Not really, most of my idols were shitty

9: What makes you feel guilty?

Do not get me started, I can start feeling guilty for someone's tone towards me

10: Boring hobby you enjoy?

Watching gaming videos

11: Do you like who you are around people

No, not really. I'm often forgotten and not included because I'm to anxious to start a conversation

12: Future plans?

Go to art school, start a comfy, domestic life

13: Tell a secret

I hate celery

14: Whats an embarrassing event your still really petty about?

I once got in trouble for involuntarily screamed during sex ed because there were pictures

15: Do you get wonderlust?

YES. EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME

16: Romantic prefernce

I prefer women/femenine people, but I am not closed to anything

17: How many parents do you have?

Four, two step and two bio

18: Do they get along?

No, not really. My dad and mom can never communicate and cause me to mediate since I was little. Plus, my step mom and dad often scream at eachother

19: Do you swear?

Fuck yeah

20: How many siblings? Relationship with them?

Four step siblings, two sisters, both older, two brothers, on older and one younger. I'm very close with my younger brother, Bold. I'm not very close with my older siblings, as they are on my dads side.

21: Ever hurt someone emotionally?

I really try not to unless they have hurt me badly enough, but I have had to turn people down.

22: Has someone hurt you emotionally?

Constantly

23: Do you believe in the afterlife?

Yeah! There's gotta be something after this!

24: What lies do you believe anyways

That my friend is straight, he sent a group chat that I was in a bunch of thirst traps

25: Do you consider yourself to be poor, average, or wealthy?

I'd consider my family to be better then average but not wealthy

26: tattoo meanings?

Id like a flower tattoo of something meaningfull, I'm not sure yet however

27: How many friend groups do you have? How do they vary?

I don't really have friend groups, but my irl friends vary so much

28: Do you work?

Not quite, I have a practicum do school however

29: do you want a partner for life?

Yes

30: Who have you never forgiven?

Nobody

31: What are you looking forward to now?

Long term: Meeting all of you and giving you all cupcakes

Short term: I'm going out of town soon

32: If there's anything you could've changed about your past, what would it be?

I wish I didn't show as much academic potential then what I truly have when I was younger. Less stress and maybe I could've been diagnosed sooner

33: favorite color

RED LOVE RED

34: Unpopular opinion

I don't like pizza, unless its hiiwain

35: Last good book you read

To kill a mocking bird, as boring as it was to read for school, it was still good

36: Favorite book

Wishtree

37: Favorite poem?

Don't have one

38: Favorite movie?

Luca

39: Favorite song?

This rotates very often, but currently, Partners in crime by Set it off

40: Favorite kind of food?

Sweet and chewy

41: What kind of food trigger your gag reflex?

No foods. But when I bone breaks and you can see the break, ill need a moment

42: What are you missing in your life

As fucking cheesy as it sounds, you guys. I don't like the majorit of people here and i need to hug you all

43:if you could chose your name—

I did, it’s Parker

44/45/46: earliest/recent/beautiful Dream you remember having?

I don’t dream

47: do you have a car?

nope! I’m not able to legally allowed to drive and I have hamaxophobia

48: are you scared of death?

nope, it happens to all of us. I just don’t want to speed up the process

50: Dream job?

I would love to create something like TADC, lackidasiy, or something like that. I’d love to create the story and work on the animation

51: are you religious?

Kinda, I grew up with a Christian belief, but I don’t affiliate with any specific religion. I believe there’s something out there, but not anything specifically.

52: how do you calm yourself?

distraction, if I get my mind off of what’s bothering me, then I’ll be fine

53: most annoying thing that happens daily

my bones popping and hurting

54: urban, suburban, or rural

Urban

55: one talent you wish you had?

I wanna play piano

56: do well or struggle in school?

depends on the class

57: speech impediment?

I have a bit of a stutter when I speak because I’m thinking to fast

58: most terrifying thing that ever happened to you?

getting outed without my consent

59: Happiest day of your life?

Meeting all of you, especially Zain

60: early, on time, or late?

yes

61: quirks?

None that I can think of, most that are visible is just me stimming

62: do you wish you could start tomorrow with a clean slate?

I mean, don’t I already do that every morning. In a sense of course

63: do you ever get paranoid?

yes quite often

64: do you believe in human souls?

kinda??? I mean, I think people are born with certain personality characteristics, but also I think it can be altered by environment

65: what’s a mistake you’ll never make again

making a chocolate pie and trusting certain people

66: what fandoms do you belong to?

utmv mainly, but I enjoy anything that you guys and gals bring me

67: Old urls

Used to be CallMeAdam, i was rotating through names I'd like to call myself, but I much prefer Parker and Italic now

68: How often do you lie?

A lot. Compulsively. Only to teachers and parents.

69: do you like the attention you get?

mostly, there’s some that I don’t like but that’s mostly irl attention

70: are you dating someone? What’s your favorite thing about them?

I am indeed! I love her confidence, but I adore everything about her

71: are you concerned about the environment?

yes

72: what stresses you out most?

Drama that gets blown out of proportion, school, going to my dads

73: credit, debit, EBT, or cash

cash. It’s much harder to track back to me

74: favorite historical figure?

I don’t know his name, but the dude who consumed his entire supply of pervirtin or however you spell it

75: what’s a movie you know is bad but enjoy anyways

Big, it’s awful but so funny

77: what’s your kink?

got a few; praise, dominance, and a few others I will only mention in private

78: what’s the on thing you don’t feel comfortable doing around friends?

there’s a lot of things, but talking is a big one

79: most prized possession?

heart necklace

80: are ever proud of yourself?

sometimes

81: do you ever tear yourself down?

yep

82: do you ever tell people how you feel?

maybe, depends

83: do you like it when people guess how you feel?

depends. If you’re wrong, im punching you(unless we’re joking around). If your right, then it make both of our lives so much easier

84: are you worried about someone close to you?

constantly, we’re all mentally I’ll and I’m way too empathetic for my own good

85: How many interview questions do you answer to yourself?

I don't exactly understand what this is asking, but I have done interviews before so just standard questions about my art work and life

86: if you could meet anyone living or dead, who would it be?

you already know who I’m going to say

87: if I had a clone of myself, and there’s not enough resources, would you get along?

most likely, im am very self sacrificing when it come to my mental and physical health

88: what kind of things confuse you

it can be anything if you try an describe it to me verbally

89: are to hot or too cold?

yes

90: What time period, other then the current one, would you like to be in

Well, probably somewhere in the 1500's,

91: what’s your sign? Does it match you?

Aquarius, and kinda

92: do you believe in astronomy?

no, but I still find it to be really interesting

93: do you like extreme activities?

some, im not very. Brave.

94: are you waiting for someone to save you?

not really, I want to save myself and bring others with me

95: can you remember the last time you had a deep connection with someone?

yeah, with panda on Sunday. It felt like talking to my future self/pos

96: do you like where you grew up?

nope! Terrible for my asthma, never felt accepted by people irl, plus a terrible problem with cis men being asshole and weird

97: favorite word

moonstruck; the incapability to be normal from being deeply enamored or in love with something or someone

98: do you think your interesting?

yeah!

99: what people do you wish knew me better?

my parents, all four of them. Maybe I’d be happier if they understood

100: are you okay?

not really, but I’m working towards being better

101: what’s been going on in your mind lately?

lotsa ideas for animations

#asks #tunny!! 🩷#Fucking christ

3 notes · View notes

life-with-a-4yearold · 11 months

Text

my first post!

So I decided I would start blogging, but didn’t know where to start. Why I decided was because my life is hectic, chaotic, funny and down right stressful. I have a 4 year old child a 2.5 year old german shepherd and a partner we have a 3 bed ex council house and live in a lovely little village. All seems great ? well no… we may sound like your typical family but we have a lot of baggage our life isn’t perfect in fact far from perfect. We have our arguments we have days where we laugh non stop, there are days when all I want to do is cry and forget the world. Times are tough when you have a 4 year old who doesn’t want to listen and is so head strong that you feel like breaking down but yet shes the most caring child and loves us and her dog more then anything, like we love her. So I decided i would write about it to let people no they are not alone. I’ll tell you something, its not easy having children I only have one and find that hard. Starting from the beginning. Pregnancy was terrible, heartburn, sickness, aches and pains. I found out I just was pregnant November 2018. I had her on June 18th 2019. She starts school this year. What 4 years its been, we have moved 3 times. Our first dog died he got run over. We then got another dog his an arsehole we got him when my daughter was 1 and he was 9 weeks old. Now that was a mistake! Having a 9 week old puppy and 1 year old just walking. Now shes 4 and his nearly 3 they have both become best friends and wont leave each others side, typical german shepherd behaviour.

Days turn in to weeks in this house, I do anything for a simple life. Cant be arsed to put the washing away I wont, don’t feel like hoovering today I wont. I do everything and its ok to have a day off every now and then, we have a take away on a Saturday night so I don’t have to cook 7 times out of 10 we will have one then too. I HATE having to cook when I don’t want to. The theought of having to think of what to cook for dinner drives me crazy! And no one eats the same thing EVER roast dinner I im the only one who eats veg. my daughter will eat carrots peas and broccoli my partner don’t eat fuck all. Im fed up of doing different dinners, no what I think the dog actually eats more then what we do. No point in me even buying dog food he eats everything they leave which is pretty much the whole plate! End up doing cheesy pasta!! Fucking cheesy pasta.

Days out? Yeah all sound great until you get a screaming 4 year old because they want an ice cream which costs about £8? Since when did 99’s cost so much ? no wonder no one wants to go out anymore, we went to the zoo just to get in cost £109.98! for the FUCKING zoo!! As we was walking round you get them people that just decide to stop in the middle of the path and get in everyones fucking way and DON’T move. Finally get passed mumbling fucking idiots under your breath. Still while youre kids screaming because you’ve refused to pay £8 for a 99. Sweating because its 1000 degrees. Thinking what the fuck was I thinking. To make things worse walk past the gorillas and they are only having abit and now got to explain to a 4 year old that they are just playing, and that’s what they do. Had to buy the £8 ice cream to get her to move away from them. So not only are we sweating skint and now traumatized, we have a 4 year old that’s witnessed 2 gorllias going at it. Well that’s the only thing she did see as no other bastard animal was out!! Now were all hungry thirsty and fed up… find a nice little food shack got 2 burgers and a hot dog and shared some chips…. £36.00 sorry what ? for 2 burgers a hot dog and one portion of chips ? didn’t even get the drinks because my idiot partner forgot them!! Well glad he did would have had to taken out a second mortgage! Fucking livid at this point, in the end we walked round rest may have seen a zebra could have been a rhino, I was so hot and thirsty I don’t know what I was seeing. Gift shop on the way out why??? The DRAMA we had when we said she couldn’t have anything because it was to expensive. Dragging her out by her feet, while shes screaming she wants a monkey. LAST thing I wanted to see. FINALLY we gave in got her it and then finally got back to the car, shes strapped in and me and my partner look at each other with the look of defeat and just sigh. Drove home in silence the whole way. TRAUMATIZED by the experience. Bitch bag is in the bag seat flat out asleep clenching her new £18.00 toy that is about the size of a small banana. Excuse the pun. Ive never looked forward to getting home so much in my life. We ended up all having a bath put fresh pjs on I opened and drank 2 bottles of wine while crying lol. Ordered a kebab watched the rest of Paw patrol the movie and off we went to bed. Day over all to be done again in a couple weeks time.

To Be Continued….. one very tired and stressed mum.

#children #family #momlife #motherhood #kids #hilarious

2 notes · View notes

youngmassidehoe · 1 year

Note

3, 4, 8, 11, 12, 20, 24, 26, 38, 40, 50, 51, 56, 62, 67

Hiii narcissa 🤠💕 I hope you're having a great pride month

3. Are you a UHaul Lesbian? If so is this something you like or dislike about yourself?

Fun fact I was considering marriage with my most recent ex after only dating for 6 months🙃 (like there was a proposal but ultimately i said no) I feel like I could be one & I don't like it cause I don't like being that vulnerable/moving too fast but also I really wanted to be with someone who understood me

4. Do you fall in love easily?

Yes & no like I get really critical when a partner says "i love you" im always like "why & how?" But I definitely get crushes easily & when I do fall in love it's a more slow process

8. Whose aesthetic would you like to steal?

@/worshiptheflesh their sense of style and writing makes me feel really seen

11. Do you like tacky things?

Yesss I lowkey love the whimsigoth style of decor and anything that gives funky grandparent vibes

12. How has your style and taste changed since you came out?

When I first came out (bi in high school) i was like a goth baby stud, chokers & snap backs now im like more stemme where I do dress more masc but I still incorporate feminine outfits on occasion but I no longer feel forced to be feminine like I can do it more on my own terms

20. Who is your role model?

Tbh I don't have one anymore🤔

24. What advice would you give to those just coming out (baby gays?)

As much as everyone jokes about lesbian relationships being crazy, you should never feel like you're losing your mind in the relationship. Don't force yourself into anything that doesn't feel authentically yourself. If your dating someone much older than you, they're not "more mature" they just like to predator on younger people

26. What is your favorite part about being a lesbian (and you can’t just say, women)

Answered!

38. Have you told yourself you are fabulous, beautiful, handsome, lovable, worthy today?

Thank you 🥺🤧 I will definitely do it today

40. At someone on Tumblr and tell me your favorite thing about them.

@weirdolesbo I think she's really funny & gorgeous I always love seeing their posts

50. What gives you absolute joy as a lesbian?

Answered! But also feeling seen by other lesbians (especially studs) gives me a lot of joy

51. Say something nice about yourself.

I am funny and really creative

56. If you could manifest one thing for yourself this year what would it be?

An apartment that I can afford on my own

62. What would "fix you"?

Having enough money to not be stressed and to be able to come home to someone that feels like home

67. Who comes to mind immediately when I say lesbian icon?

Young ma one of the loves of my life & the inspiration behind my url😅💝

#ask #asks #mikky speaks #i really love being a black lesbian

6 notes · View notes

demcnsinmymind · 2 years

Text

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. ( REPOST DO NOT REBLOG ! )

○ name: Veri (short for veritaaas) is the nickname I usually roll with :)

○ pronouns: she/her.

○ preference of communication: tumblr ims tbh. I do have a disco but we also use disco for work so it generally stresses me out to see it blink/make noises

○ name of muse(s): Lance, Azathoth, Kiara (@thatevester)

○ experience/how long (months/years?): writing in German in general since late elementary school, English fanfic writing since 2012, RPing since 2018

○ platforms you’ve used: livejournal (lol), tumblr, disco

○ best experience: coming back after a 4 year break last year and still having some loyal mutuals left (once again shout out to awesome peops like @greatwrath and @orphanedshadow), while at the same time making a lot of new friends and dearly beloved mutuals. I just LOVE writing with you guys!

○ rp pet peeves / dealbreakers: It just upsets me so much when people start following first, only to then never bother interacting in any way whatsover. be that sending in a meme from my meme tag that is always there to choose from and easily accessible, or replying to opens or liking the permanent starter call. Like, all that stuff is in my pinned post and super easy to find and access both on a pc or on mobile. It literally takes like two clicks and a copy paste and here we go, we’re rolling. And especially if you’re too shy to start up an IM conversation/plotting first - it’s so easy to get something started by just sending something in without comment. I’ll be more than happy to reply and wing it and start developing something from there. But to have people follow you who can’t be bothered to get anything started for weeks, if not months and always having to be the one to start things first only to see your efforts to reach out be ignored as well, is seriously discouraging. If you don’t have time to actually interact or aren’t interested after all, don’t get my hopes up and don’t start following me first. It is as simple as that. I get excited every time I gain a new follower because I assume they’re interested and I’m super looking forward to getting something started with their character soon. But if I’m just there to boost a number, well, no thanks. I’ll softblock sooner or later. And if you’re too shy to start something first, my posts and IMs are always open to give me a heads up. Then I’ll be more than happy to write you something first. But then again, that’s what the starter call is already for, that takes just one click on a heart and that’s it, so I seriously don’t get a complete lack of interaction. It’s not really about who starts something first, it’s more about a complete lack of effort/communication/interest on one side. Sorry for the rant haha.

○ fluff, angst, or smut: angst > smut > fluff. Though I admit my blog could use a little more fluff and comedy every now and then

○ plots or memes: truth be told, I’m super into winging stuff. I write based on emotions and how I feel and think in a moment, I’m not much one to plan far ahead and just keep talking about writing for a while instead of just doing it. I simply get to excited to just start writing right away :D HOWEVER, if people require some plotting first, I’ll be more than happy to do so. My goal is to build fun character relationships and developments over time too. I just get there differently most of the time.

○ long or short replies: looks at the blog. Laughs. I can’t do short replies for the life of me, though once again, I’ll be more than happy to try much harder and keep it short if my partner asks for it. Personally, I just have much more fun exploring thoughts and emotions, so my replies tend to get heavy on the descriptive and heavy inner monologue but sparse on the written dialogue.

○ best time to write: night owl through and through. Sometimes I get started around 8pmish (GMT+1), most of the time I won’t get started before midnight. My most creative and active phase is between 2-4am though tbh.

○ are you like your muse(s): I think I actually am in a lot of ways. I think I’m a bit friendlier/kinder and more polite and empathic, but other than that, I can be a pretty selfish, workaholic bitch as well if I want to be. Also we’re both filmmaking nerds who dig the paranormal, so...🤷

tagged by : @ebonyforged <3 tagging: @innerwar @adeathsentence @thesoulofasurvivor @therebekahmikaelson @bitchheroine and whoever else wants to do the thang

#text post #memes #dash lists #about the mun #give us a sign : memes

5 notes · View notes

speak-now-girlies-unite · 1 year

Text

the gifted kid burnout was strong this week.

i hate that phrase, because last year i told my best friend at the time "i think im burnt out." and she looked me dead in the eyes and told me that i was too young, too good, that my life was too easy for me to be going through burnout.

i think that's when i stopped looking up to her.

once i was talking to my "friends" during lunch, and somehow we started talking about crying on command. my day was pretty shitty so when i was the only person who could cry on command i wasn't really surprised, it just felt like crying. i blamed my ability on staring at the lights, and just being good at it, but on girl looked at me. and. she knew.

she wasn't even my best friend. my best friend was right there and she didn't notice. she was talking to someone else. but this girl that i'd had barely a few conversations with, she knew. she could tell. and that almost made me actually cry. i was so tired. so so tired.

this girl's my best friend now, and i tell her everything. i dont know where i would be without her. but this week was another hard week. i feel like im slipping into a depression or something, i don't know. i feel so numb, so tired. my math teacher takes forever to put in grades, so right now alot of my assignments show up as missing, so i'm failing her class. it makes me feel so embarrassed, so ashamed, but also i can't bring myself to care. im so tired. i want to scream. im angry, but im too tired to be angry.

i just want it all to stop. i want it to be over and done with. i want to be 37, living in a blue house with white accents and three adopted kids, and being happy. feeling free. at the same time i want to be 5, singing along to "party in the usa" and arguing with my aunt on pink vs. purple. at the same time i want to be dead, simply not existing. i want to never have existed. i want to not have to feel.

im so tired. but its not like im suicidal or anything. i've thought about killing myself, but it the way anyone would do when your friend nearly ends it all for themself. i wouldn't ever kill myself. ive got too much to live for. my friends would be upset. i would never find a partner. i would never finish writing a book, or influence a life. so im living. but im not happy about it. i just want to go to sleep, but i know that if i do, the morning will come faster, and i'll have to go through the world all over again. and again. and again. and again.

there's no point in delaying the inevitable, but i will anyways, because it makes me feel like i have some sort of control over myself.

one day its going to be over. just a few more years. this school year's almost over. a few more days till the end of the week. a few more months till the end of the year. a few more years till the end of school. will it ever end, truly? senior year seems so far away. and ill dissapoint everyone if i dont go to college. is that another four years? five? six? its so much. i just want to go to sleep. i just want to sleep in, and then crochet myself a top, and then watercolor in the sun. and then sleep. but i cant, and i feel like im dying. i dont want to die. i just want to get out of this cycle. wake up, go to school, go home, cry, go to sleep. wake up. go to school. go home. stress. cry. go to sleep. i cant do this. please, i need some sort of lifeline.

im so tired.

4 notes · View notes

astral-from-afar · 1 year

Note

sad yuki headcanon! because i read your happy ones and i cant go 10 seconds without my favorite characters being in pain (exception being that i refuse to acknowledge ch 208) 😍 the only reason she travels and goes around so much is because shes got this "irrational" or pervasive fear in the back of her mind that her life could end at any moment (spv trauma?????? riko dying made her survivors guilt even worse) so she tries to fill it up with as many things as possible, sort of in a live life to the fullest way? i also think she absolutely HATES her birthday. since getting older for a very long time, meant that shed be a year closer to getting merged with tengen. so that day doesn't hold a lot of positive feelings for her. i still can't really wrap my head around her being stressed out by missions? i get her disliking them but cause of stress? im intrigued!

on a lighthearted hc, shes veryyy messy and disorganized especially because she had to learn everything about surviving outside from scratch so the first time she'd gone outside of japan was obviouslt tough but she wouldnt trade it for anything because that ended up being a catalyst for her love for travelling.

Its ok anon, I too like my favourite characters to be in pain.

I also don’t know why her stress would be by doing missions but I would see it as more as grief for her peers back when she was a student.

Yuki was obviously a special grade before even Gojo was born so she would have been considered the ‘strongest’ at the time. I would imagine that her attending Jujutsu Tech or Kyoto school (I’m inclined to believe the former because the higher ups would probably want to keep a close eye on her which would explain why she would want Todo to go to Kyoto).

She would have had some peers her age but she wouldn’t be able to connect with them as they would see her as either a traitor or a saviour. Now Gojo’s birth caused a spike in cursed spirits which meant that students like Yuki who were obviously unprepared would have either been slaughtered or left the field like Nanami did. This meant Yuki would have had to carry the load by herself until Gojo and Geto would become students. Maybe the increase in curses thanks to the Night of a Hundred Demons causes her to think back to the previous time it happened, to those around her being killed on the battlefield.

It’s funny to think that Yuki never got a partner or someone to confide in until Todo came into the picture. And even then it was more of a older sibling-younger sibling dynamic. Whereas Gojo had Geto and vice versa. And Yuta had Rika then when she left he had the second years. Yet Yuki in most of her adolescence had no one. A lone star one would say.

Also your light hearted headcannon is SO TRUE. I think her first trip was more of a necessity to get away from Tengen but then she started liking it more and more until she travels constantly around the world. She hates staying put in one area (contrasting Tengen staying put in the basement) so she makes an effort to visit everywhere she can

#Astra writes #Your headcannons are ✨✨✨#Marvellous #I have a couple of other sad headcannons #But I will write them up later #Ask has been answered #yuki tsukumo

6 notes · View notes

cancerfairy · 2 years

Note

hey bestie!!! ❤️ my question for you is "how will I meet my future spouse?" - S.Y

the question I decided to answer for you is "how do people view you"

you know the first thing that popped up to me is self centric and it's not a bad thing, ppl tend to overlook your personality or misjudge you alot ( not everyone does this, only some). but to some you are seen as someone very responsible and you tend to not over analyse stuff and always go with the flow. People tend to like that about how easygoing you are and some may envy how you always look like you keep life in check (you know sometimes ppl see what they wanna see, only u know how much u struggle to get to where u are). I'm also picking up some sad energy too, I'm not sure but I see some ppl may see you dealing with something / ur going thru a hard time but hey that love seeing how courageous and how strong you are in times like this (I'm proud of you too). It's sudden but I'm picking up abt love but it's more to self love so ig ppl see you as someone that knows how to care/nurture themselves (thru arts for example) so u should take pride on it and keep nurturing yourself, little flower 🌸. Last but not least (from my personal point of view) you are attractive (ik I've never seen u before) but beauty comes in many ways and what I like most is ur speech and the way u present yourself. that's all I'm getting for u layla hope u like it. :)

hiii bae!! i gotta give feedback cause how did you read me so well.... self centric is v accurate cause when i was in school people would always tell me i seemed very stuck up or they automatically thought i was mean but when they got to know me they said they realized how wrong they were :) people also do think i have my life in check for some reason so you're also right ab that! the sad energy is true, im always going thru it fr :,) thanks for the compliments at the end bestie i appreciate it ;*

ʚ how will you meet your fs?

okay i know you didn't ask for timing but i immediately heard winter. you could meet your future spouse in the colder months like december, january or even february. i also got a very specific time of 5 years? anyway on to the actual question you asked! when i shuffled, the cards came out and told a perfectly coherent story so i'm happy about that. so basically, in the future you may be in a very happy relationship. one that makes you feel very calm and relaxed, both of you may be very in tune with each other's emotions and thoughts. although the relationship may seem happy and you two might be in love for awhile, im seeing that the relationship suddenly comes crashing down. i'm not entirely sure what causes this discord between you two but maybe it's a financial issue or you just wake up and suddenly you feel like you're done with the relationship. one person may have been stressed with their own life and couldn't handle a relationship. whatever the case may be, it will suddenly come to an end and there will be no second chances. im seeing that you'll move on and surprisingly, you'll become better than you've ever been. you'll be in a empress energy. you'll feel lighthearted and just ready for anything to come your way. that's when you'll meet your fs and i think it will be very soon after you break up with your previous partner. it could seem like a rebound at first but you'll be very surprised to meet this person. you'll unexpectedly give your heart to them. there'll be this insane chemistry that you just can't shrug off and you'll find yourself having a lot of fun with them. i believe it'll be your empress energy that really attracts them.

#exchange readings

2 notes · View notes

rigidmisfit · 3 months

Text

2.29.24

Its been a minute. Life has been good. Mostly. Bc when do i ever come here with good things on my mind?

my head isnt very good, im taking my meds but i think i know that im spiraling again. Not even just depression but rather with my weight. my partner offered to get me new clothes and such to update my wardrobe to my tastes but i cant stop thinking about how everything i want my wardrobe to be would look better on me if i was skinny. I cant stop wishing i was back to the weight i was when i graduated high school.

i just want to go back. I dont want to be so fat. Im not happy. Heres the kicker, and i dont want anyone to know but hey— if you guys keep up w my life updates then good for you for being the first to be told— that we’re planning to have a kid this year. Yeah, me with a kid. Wild. But here’s the thing, im terrified of the weight gain. Ive already been restricting calories and such but i cant make the conscious decision to restrict while pregnant bc the baby didnt ask for this. Im not pregnant yet so im trying to get my weight down as much as possible before then but i just worry about hating myself too much during pregnancy bc of the way ill look and feel.

back to the wardrobe thing, i dont even know how to say that the idea of getting new clothes stresses me out and makes me depressed. Why bother getting new clothes if i wont like how they look on me? Why bother if im going to swell up like a balloon when pregnant? Why bother when i just hate how i look and i want to be skinny? Why bother doing anything but starving.

yeah yeah im an adult and could totally lose weight the healthy way but my god is that too slow, and boring, i need it immediately. I cant stay like this forever. I hate it. I hate me.

#personal

0 notes

firefly-sky · 9 months

Text

tw for animal death (kinda) body dysmorphia, suicidal thoughts and mentions of eating disorders

so…my dog is dying.

i’ve had this dog since i was little. I’ve had her for twelve years (i’m older than 12 in case you’re wondering. i’ve had her since i was a toddler.) and i don’t know what to do. she won’t eat, she is peeing everywhere and she isn’t her normal self. and i’m scared. the thought of having to put her down makes me feel sick to my stomach and she was diagnosed with CHF and Hyperthyroidism, and the vet said that she may not have too much time left. and i feel awful that i can’t do anything to help, i can’t fathom losing her. it terrifies me. she’s been in my life and provided so much comfort and i don’t wanna lose her, but seeing her suffer breaks my heart. and i don’t know how to handle this. i’ve never been good at handling emotions without breaking down completely and losing the one thing that’s making me happy rn is going to fucking break me. maybe i’m being dramatic. who knows.

and then earlier today, one of my family members saw me in a bathing suit, a one piece, and i’m…kinda curvy..? i don’t like talking about my body because it is weird but y’know…like, my legs are kinda thick, and I do have a visible chest. It’s nothing drastic like Jessica Rabbit or anything, but y’know. and i kinda have a chubbier stomach..? not obese, and not even fat, i’m of average weight for my height, my bmi is like, 22 or something, but i just…don’t have a flat stomach, which i was insecure about to begin with. i do work out, i have been doing better over the summer, but i just can’t make my stomach flatter. i do exercise, i walked nearly 6 miles a day the past two weeks and i’m trying to regulate my exercise times, i really am. and i try everything i can to lower my weight in a healthy way. But I tried binding my sides to make my waist smaller and mg stomach look more flat, but i can’t with a bathing suit. and a family member just…decides to saw something about how ‘i’m fat’ and i know it doesn’t sound like a big deal and i’m probably being dramatic, but i don’t have a good mindset when it comes to my body in the first place and the first thought is to go back to old really bad habits of mine.

and usually, when i stay feeling like this, my mental health tanks. and i’m stressed as fuck about school and i really fucking don’t wanna go back because this year is gonna be difficult for me academically, i’m in all honors and ap classes and it’s fucking terrifying. because everyone thinks i’m supposed to be smart, or that i’m supposed to fill in my brothers impossibly big shoes, and i can’t handle it. i feel like i can’t do anything. i’m not smart. i’m not bright, i’m no prodigy and i will never be. i’ll never be anything more than a lowlife, second place kid in my family. and i want to just…i want everything to stop. for five minutes. i need time and i don’t have it. and i’m scared.

and i already know no one is gonna see this, let alone give a shit. but it just…hurts. i’m not my brother. i’m not someone who’s smart, i’m not gonna be the future president, i’m not gonna be anything. i’m just…me. and me doesn’t seem to be enough for anyone. my friend circle completely combusted and all of the kids in that group just…left. that’s a bad thing about me, is i try too hard to keep everything i have safe and secure with me, and when it all falls apart, i just…shut down. and i feel horrible about that. i feel bad that i can’t keep everyone happy. im supposed to be the glue of my friend circle in school and i just feel like i broke it. because this year they kinda just…drifted away from me without a word. just kinda stopped wanting to be near me, stopped wanting to partner up with me during class, they would literally just start grumbling whenever i asked or they were paired up with me and i don’t know what i did wrong. and im scared to start school because of it. im scared that im gonna be friendless and im scared that i’ll be alone again. and i hate it. i hate everything that’s going on in my life and i just wanna end it.

and i know no one will see this. i know no one will care, but i just…needed to get it out somewhere. i’m sorry.

#probably being dramatic #vent #im sorry #tw #tw stress #tw eating disorder #tw body dysmorphia

0 notes

m1dn1ghtposts · 1 year

Text

// tw: suicide, death, self harm, sexual assault, mental illness, vent //

00:22 am

i saw a post about wondering if your 12 year old self would be proud of you today, and i really thought about everything that’s happened. i’ve done some great things but some equally bad ones too, so in this post i’ll go through some of those.

- i graduated high school early with a high gpa

i also reached record suicide attempts when i switched schools, almost succeeded a couple of times, and relapsed into self harm… something she hated. i still pick at my skin, and think about joining my love pretty often. i was physically and verbally abused because a guy that tried to rape me while i was under the influence got mad when i rejected him. yeah i skipped a grade, but i lost everyone, and nobody believed in me until my name was read off at graduation. if i didnt have my partner at the time i would have broken down completely, theres no way i could come back from that much of a dark place and been okay.

- i got accepted into the college i wanted to go to

my car, the only thing that has consistently kept me hanging on to this life, was keyed while i was there. my roommates were toxic and lied to my partner to disrupt my relationship. i couldn’t focus on my classes because they would have people over until anywhere from midnight to 3am. i couldnt get a job because whenever i would show up in my usual dark outfits and makeup to any place in the little country town i would get great reviews as far as capabilities and qualifications go, but never a call back. id also get weird looks all the time, maybe im crazy and seeing things but when a bunch of boys say im scary looking and they feel threatened i dont always take it as a compliment. not to mention the sudden and horrific passing of my partner during finals, the event that drove me to dropping out. to this day im fighting for a refund, despite it all happening within the fall of 2022 semester.

- i drive a cool car and found a really neat interest

i hardly ever get compliments, and my car is damaged, though i’ll never say exactly where. theres chips in the paint where rust pokes through, a piece missing from my windows tint, sun damage on parts of my paint, scratches everywhere either from the keying or from her previous owners… i could point out every little flaw forever. i love my car so much, its crazy to me that i never realized earlier how much i love cars, but that doesn’t mean anybody else appreciates the work and money i put into my car to keep her clean and shiny. not to mention how misogynistic the car community is. its depressing to see some of the posts ive seen, saying how women terrible drivers and dont know anything about cars. not only is it depressing to see from some of my favorite content creators, but its making me want to stop trying. stop pouring so much effort into something nobody will appreciate except me. maybe this is dramatic, but its true to me. once every month or two it takes a few of my friends to convince me to keep trying and keep building her up, but when most of what i see is negativity its very hard to ignore. i dont need everyone to like my car, i dont need everyone to be accepting of women either, i just want to feel like im a part of a community i allign a lot with. isnt the whole point to bond over wanting to modify your car and watch the progress?

- i did great in band and survived all 3 years of marching band (remember, i skipped a year)

i havent touched my trumpet in forever and started smoking sophomore year from stress, right around the school change. i know its bad and will kill me someday, but do i really care? so what, im only alive today because of pure luck. its really sad to say, but i couldnt care less about when this all ends, all i want is to feel okay. i just want to have this small vice and if it kills me someday so be it. also, for every great achievement in band i screwed up a run equally as bad or just didnt even play the music. its hard to stay motivated in a place that hates you.

basically, for every achievement i can boast, there’s an equal or greater bad side to it. at least thats what it seems like. maybe im just negative, or maybe im realistic. why should i lie to myself anyways? my 12 year old self was great at every subject and at least tried to be happy and spread joy despite the bullying. she didnt know about her own abuse, from a family member no less. she didnt know why her step brother liked touching her privates or why he kept doing weird things with her dolls. now it just keeps happening, with everybody i hold close. not even just sexual assault, but manipulation ive learned to notice, straight up abuse that i never recognized. honestly, my current self sees no real value in doing really anything, i’ll lay in bed all day if i cant get up. i could have failed out of college and i couldnt even get a job until it was fully remote. i abuse my body and i cant stop, i dont know how. i smoked weed in college because i couldnt sleep or calm down and now most nights there are a blur, its all i had to cope while 1.5 hours away from my partner… when i had him. maybe its my fault, maybe i just screw up everything i touch like the inverse of midas. i cant tell, i just know im losing it.

#vent #tw sui vent #tw self destructive thoughts #tw smoking #tw death #tw drugs #tw self sabotage #tw suicide #tw self loathing #tw sex abuse #tw sexualization of minors #tw r@pe #tw vent #tw abuse

1 note · View note