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acti-veg · 4 months

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hey acti, i hate to be a downer when we're already fighting an uphill battle, but i guess i just wanted a fellow vegan to hear this :/

i dated someone this past year, and he knew i was vegan from the start, even when we were just friends, and it was never a problem; he surprised me with a vegan meal prep made with beyond meat once, would clean the grilling utensils when he was making animal-based burgers and I was having a plant-based one, and even, when we went out to eat and they got my order wrong and served me something with meat, put his hand on mine and said he knew i was frustrated and was sorry. fast forward five months and after we'd had a conversation where i told him in a hypothetical completely vegan world, we wouldn't be farming animals for agriculture so livestock animals like cows would sort of go extinct (which started with another hypothetical where i would either have to be super sick for a month or eat a piece of steak and be instantly cured, to which i answered id be sick for the month), he decided i was "radical" and we weren't compatible because he "didn't want his kids to be exposed to veganism". i'd even told him i would compromise (because ive always wanted to raise my kids vegan) in that when i would cook, the food would be vegan, and when he would cook, it wouldnt, and that wasnt good enough. there were other issues and red flags not related to veganism (though he was always making "joking" comments about how he'd "break me of veganism" by cooking a really good steak and convincing me to eat it), but it just really sucks! like vegans are the ones who get the bad wrap as supposedly being "extreme" - i shouldve been the one upset and bothered according to their stereoptypes for us, but it was him! carnists are just so close-minded and hypocritical its really unbelievable.

i really thought it could work if we just respected each other, but he, like most everyone, wasnt interested in genuine conversations or respect. and its so depressing because now i fear every other relationship i enter with a nonvegan will end the same! how can having compassion and respect for nonhuman animals make us so wrong in their eyes? i know it would probably be smarter to only date other vegans but i couldnt help falling in love with him. and the vegan dating pool is so small and spread out, and i dont live in a big, progressive city! im sorry to complain so much, its just a really exhausting reality.

thanks for listening <3

I’m sorry that it ended this way anon, it sounds like you’ve been through a lot with this one.

For what it’s worth, I don’t think that this sort of situation, as awful as it is, is anything inherent in being vegan. You had fundamentally opposing worldviews, relationships between people like that can last and be good for a while, but there will always come an issue that they’ll be split on and can’t compromise. He was unfair and handled it poorly, but even had he been more patient with you and more honest, it sounds like you just weren’t right for one another.

Not every non-vegan sees us this way, and plenty of people do navigate successful relationships with non-vegans. They can’t be anti-vegan though is the issue, and from what you’ve described here, it sounds like that is very much what he was. He would need to have at least been sympathetic to veganism and have a positive outlook on animal rights in general. He’d also need to have known what your intentions would be with any children, though it’s admittedly tricky to know when to bring that up.

Dating another vegan would of course be ideal, but someone who respects you and what you believe in, and crucially is honest about that, is all you really need. Everything else can be subject to compromise, but it sounds like that key thing was what was missing from this. It sucks that you had to find out a year in, but at least you know now before it went any further.

Best of luck in the new year anon, I hope you find better things, whether that’s happiness in your own company or with someone new. Take care!

#ask #vegan #relationships

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sandandstarz · 1 year

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Daryl Dixon Fluff Alphabet

A/N. Sorry this might be shitty im doin a lot right now but really wanted to post something

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

One of his favorite activities for you to do together is teach you how to hunt. Even though he acts annoyed he loves spending the time with you alone and seeing you succeed.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

His favorite thing about your appearance are you eyes, its the first thing he noticed when you two met and thinks they are prettier than anything. His favorite part of you personality wise is your strength, he admired how much you push forward and strive for things to be better.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Daryl is not great when it comes to comforting people, but he will hold your hands and try to get your breathing patterns back to normal and he'll run his fingers through your hair to calm you down.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

In an ideal world it would be you, him, and dog living in a cabin on the outskirts of a settlement.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Though he can be rather dominant when it comes to matters of safety, I think you tries to support you in your decisions first.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He would have some trouble forgiving his s/o if they did something pretty shitty, considering how many times he's gotten fucked over and abandoned. But you two never fight, and when you do it's small things you forget within the day.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

THIS MAN IS SO GRATEFULL. like to the point he doesn't think he deserved everything you do for him. Sometimes he has trouble accepting gifts and gestures which can make it seem like he doesn't care, but he truly does and wishes he could do more for you. (he literally does everything already, yk he's gotta love those acts of service)

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

At the begining of your relationship he didn't talk to much about his past or how he got the scars on his back, but he didn't actively keep it from you. As your relationship progressed he told you and it was a huge weight lifted off his shoulders, yall confide basically everything in each other now.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

You definitely changed him. It was apparent to everyone in the group how after you two started getting close he started to relax a little. Letting himself enjoy things. You're his light and he brightened up after you two got together.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

I can see him getting jealous easily, because again of how many times people have abandoned him. He tends to hide it and tyr to distance himself from you after getting jealous, thinking you deserve better. Sometime you gotta reel him back into reality and remind him how much he means to you with lots of hugs and words of affirmation.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He's not super experienced, before you any romantic relationships he had where fleeting and shallow. Your first was in the middle of the woods after a walker attack. You had gotten hurt and he was patching you up, it just seemed like the right time to confess, but maybe that was the blood loss talking. After the shock that he felt the same you both leaned in to kiss, only to be knocked into his lips by loosing your balance while trying to sit up. You did kiss again for real after though.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

see above ^

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Marriage isn's a big thing to Daryl, just because he thinks a ring doesn't mean you love someone more or less, but he's not opposed to the idea if you want it. You two don't end up getting official married, but you both wear a necklace with a simple ring around it everywhere you go. (he protects it with his life)

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Simple things like 'sunshine' 'honey' and occasionally 'love'

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

He thinks he's slick but oh boy is he down bad. Before he got into a relationship with you almost everyone knew he liked you. He would always pick you up something special from a run and practically never left your side when he could. Carol is still dumb-founded to this day that you didn't know.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

PDA isn't his thing, he prefers to keep the heavy affection between the two of you, but his hand always finds its place in yours or around your waste during the day.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

He has a really good memory, like wicked good. He remembers those little details that are through away comments in your conversations, and he tries to keep them in mind when getting things or doing things for you.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Daryl does romantic gestures in his own way, instead of getting you fancy jewelry its wild flowers or a stone he found on one of his runs that reminded him of your eyes. Though words aren't his strong suit he expresses his love to you verbally in more intimate moments, quietly and softly.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He believes you can do anything and wants to help you succeed, like if you need something he's right there and ready to go

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

You and Daryl tend to fall into routine, being eachothers rocks of sorts. But that doesn't mean you guys aren't up for some adventure

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Practically knows you better than you know yourself, he's caring and somehow always knows when somethings wrong with you.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Like I said before your his light, he cherishes your relationship more than he could say.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Yall cook and bake together. If your not great in the kitchen you learn together and if you already are good you help teach him, cherishing every moment even when your brownies have more salt than sugar or when you accidently start a fire.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Loves cuddles but won't admit it. When you hold him he feels safe and goes to you for physical affection when he's upset.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

He tries to busy himself with lots of tasks to make the time pass quicker and gets antsy and anxious if your gone to long outside the walls.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

He would do anything for what you two have, probably run through a fire covered in gasoline if it meant you two could live a 'happily ever after'.

#twd angst #twd fluff #daryl dixion x reader #daryl dixon #the walking dead #daryl dixon fluff #twd fanfiction

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dayundying · 1 year

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can you tell us more about nort please im so curious about him :)

NANA I LOVE YOU YOU ARE MY BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.

Um um ok for starters his name is Nort, obvs! And it is just straight up his name, im sure in character, to Nort his name is meaningful and important but to me? Nort just struck my mind! Im pretty sure it was inspired by Norm from PaF which haha is fitting cause Nort is my owb poster child, robots!!! Haha. Although it also makes me sad because my first fallout oc was named Norman actually... but he wasnt named after norm he was named because he was a normal man ANYWAHS NOT IMPORTANT.

He uses solely he/him and basically ONLY presents masculinely but like ive SOMEWHAT expressed before he feels kind of weird about gender simply because well, human gender is so human and he really hates being human, he does not feel male at all, but defintely not female, im not sure if hed know the term nonbinary but its him and he would be it (nort LOVES transgenderism.)

The topic of how he feels about gender i think is a good segway to whatever he has going on in the sexuality department, i feel like hes defintely had relationships in the past and has and does feel attraction for other people but after the whole getting shot in the head nd getting to affirm his person and ideals he hates himself for feeling that, he hates all of his human desires and needs, he stuffs basically all of his feelings like so far down deep. So what he is with that label??? Agh idk lol. Hed loooooove to be nonbinary but he gives no shit to label anything else

Now! What IS up with his beliefs? Well at first I envisioned him as a avid transhumanist but then when i actually made him my idea for him as a nerd went out the window and he became totally tough and gruff, he still is a transhumanist and believes in it very much, but he is also incredibly survival of the fittest thinking if that makes sense (i want to say he believes in survivalism but i realized the actual definition of it sounds dumb.) I kind of think of it like this: he is incredibly trusting in machines and technology, but due to the wasteland being the way it is, he cant just be a robot like he very much wants to be, he cant have robot arms and put chips in his skin, he has to be the human he was born as, and eat and drink and fight, so yknow, he does.

Idk, hes barely 2 days old, hes still being developed, this stuff IS subject to change

But i am not done!!!

Deciding how my ocs feel about stuff is great, i will never skip out on explaining their opinions on factionsss <3

Hoof, looking them up, i realize theres more factions in nv then i thought there were...Ill get into his opinion on the more minor factions another time cause id TOTES love to, but i think right now the main stuff is supes important!

He LOVES mr house, er like, his politics wise, he sits and nods to everything he says and thinks because he simply completely agrees.

Thinks the ncr are some bunch of cowards, he does have a personal intrigue with how its set up though. Sometimes he daydreams about if he was in charge of all of the ncr, the changes hed make.

He doesnt think an independent new vegas would survive at all and does not support it. He simply believes itd just crumble and cave into itself !

Similar to how he feels about the ncr, he alsp has intrigue with the legion, but hates its lack of progressiveness and movement, i dont think he believes he could save it, just one of those things hell certain will just blow away into the sands of nevada, as weird history of that one time that happened.

#long post #oc: nort

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idk-my-aesthetic · 9 months

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Spy x fam 76 spoilers!

There was so much incredible about this arc, and I want to talk about more of it, but I want to start with Nightfall

I’ll say it again I wasn’t a huge nightfall fan before this arc. I lowkey thought it’d be cute for her to develop a bit of a crush on Yor in a comedic way but besides that didn’t think too much of her

This freaking arc tho??? Oh my g-d???

1) this is just a general statement about the series as a whole but sxf truely is like. Both a love story and a spy thriller. You can’t take away the themes about love (both romantic and platonic) and family without completely compromising the story. It’s just one of the best stories I’ve ever seen with the way the creator weaves in drama and action and the SYMBOLISM. The PARALLELS. Im losing my fucking mind so-

1.1) listen. Listen. I know it sounds like I’m saying nonsense but I cannot express how IMPRESSIVE the story telling here is. Doing this so well is HARD. There’s a reason so many action movies have garbage tacked on romance plots. It takes a lot of different skills to make a good action drama vs a romantic or emotional drama. And this series just does such a good job at having an engaging world, stakes that feel genuinely scary and grounded, and characters that manage to both work as narrative tools while still feeling like real actual multidimensional people.

And that ability to have such incredibly multidimensional characters that still push the narrative is what brings me to Nightfall

2) this was the first time (at least in my opinion) nightfall became more of her own person and not just a token romantic rival to progress Loid and Yors romance. She’s starting to feel more like a real person.

One of the things about her that absolutely jumps out to me is her similarities to Yor. Her willingness to self sacrifice for the people she loves, her sheer power, and most importantly the way she views love

Yor and Fiona both view love as a strength. At the moment Twilight views it as a weakness. He also assumes that’s how the others around him view his attachments, as a form of weakness. Including Nightfall, he assumes she’s going to think him weak and she’s too flustered to correct him

I think there’s two possibilities with what will happen with Nightfall and Twilight.

A) Nightfall is going to help Twilight realize it’s okay to be in love with Yor and to love Anya (because I do think he will begin to view her as a weakness as well). It’s probably going to break her heart but we can already see how much she’s willing to sacrifice for him

(In an ideal world she’d go through a lot of character development, fall in love with Yor as well and then they’d be a throuple, but I am realistic enough to understand that’ll probably never happen and go write my own fic or smthn lol)

B) nightfall becomes a representation of the parts of himself that Loid will eventually sacrifice/turn away from in favor of his family. This is honestly what I was expecting to happen before this arc, especially cus it would be easy to do a mirroring thing with Yor and Yuri. (For the record I don’t think it would be a thing of like fully rejecting their old lives for either Loid or Yor but I also can only predict so much lol).

3) I really really hope nightfall continues to evolve. Yuri as well. As much as it is important to have rival or threat characters like them in this type of stories I feel like their characters have so much potential. But at the same time that’s one of the huge struggles with writing! It’s incredibly difficult to balance the narrative role of a character while still making them feel real. I think they’ve done and incredible job so far and I am curious where they’re going to go with it

#spy x family 86 #spy x family manga #dinner has arrived and I’ve been rambling for an hour I gotta GO

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khodorkovskaya · 1 year

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02.04.23

yesterday was a great day at the shop! there were lots of people and we made good money 🤑

other than that we've been receiving negative news one after another and it's been tough to handle emotionally. ive tried to distract myself but like the facts are there and im anxious...

my bestie came by the shop and we went to drink tea and then had a kebab at the place that's just opened next to the shop. we talked a lot about relationships and ive also been thinking about that kind of stuff ever since i bumped into B the other day.

if i think about it too much, relationships seem like a scam. what do you gain from being in a relationship with a man? what's in it for you? it feels like you're just gonna sacrifice yourself and act like a crazy person. in an ideal world id want a partner who complements me and my life, someone who really sees me and can understand me, someone i don't need to change for. but how can someone understand and see you to that level? you always have to change yourself to appeal to whoever you hang out with, be it friends or classmates or whatever. how can you find someone who is that perfect for you? and if the person is not perfect, is it even worth it?

my stepdad says i have a hygiene problem. and yeah... like i know that's not very slay of me but like ive been showering every two-three days ever since i left B and i have these weird discolouration spots on my skin now, yikes. it started off with me not wanting to see myself naked bc my naked body reminded me of him. and now im fine but ive gotten into the habit of not showering and it's not an easy habit to get out of frankly. bc honestly ive always hated looking after myself. washing my hair, bathing, using a loofah, shaving, having a skin care routine or whatever... i can't deal with the effort. the maximum i can do (or used to be able to do) is rinse myself in the shower once a day and that's it. and now i can't bring myself to do even that every day, yikes.

and it got me thinking, why do most people, as my stepdad claims, like taking care of themselves and their bodies and i don't. ive never shaved or wanted to shave. ive tried like using creams and scrubs and stuff but it was always so tedious, i don't know how people do it. makeup can be fun for a special occasion but i can't imagine how some girls do it every day. and taking care of my hair is the worst! and tbh i don't like being clean. i feel normal when im "dirty" and i can't explain why, it makes me feel most like myself. it got me thinking that for many sa survivors bad hygiene is a defense mechanism. maybe my lack of cleanliness is deeper than me just being lazy idk. bc everyone enjoys shower gels that smell like flowers and having shiny clean hair and smooth skin, so why don't i?

i thought about sex with B and funnily enough we got onto the topic with my bestie too. and idk, i feel weird about sex. i can't say that im asexual or hypersexual, but something about my sex drive and my relationship with sex has never felt normal. like im not chill about sex. maybe it's because i didn't have a healthy introduction to it, but then again, what does a healthy introduction to sex even look like? is it fooling around with a friend as a teenager and feeling safe and playful? is it waiting till marriage and trusting your partner with your life? is it progressive sex education at school where you're taught about different sexualities without shame? can you even be properly introduced to such an intimate thing in a healthy manner without shocking a part of yourself?

like... idk how to explain it. because sex is normal, it's a part of life, everyone has it. but yet it's so bizarre and doesn't logically go with anything else we do in life. why do i like things during sex that would usually repulse me? why are women submissive? why does sex resemble violence so much? why does it make you scream and cry and yet it feels good? it's so full of contradictions i really can't understand.

and my bestie and i compared our sexual experiences and found a lot of similarities. for example both of us had had moments where all of a sudden in the middle of sex our desire would just go away for no reason. like you're into it one moment and then the next everything is uninteresting and even repulsive and you don't want to do it anymore. where does that come from? also i remember with B id fantasise about him but the moment he'd want to have sex id just immediately stop being horny. why? didn't i want sex with him a minute ago?

and like, back to the contradictions of sex, it got me thinking that it's weird how the first ever sex was technically rape. and how apparently women scream during sex bc it's our primal instinct to cry for help during it. and men always fantasise about hitting women and strangling them and cnc is a big thing. and like... maybe the "original sin" wasn't eve eating the forbidden fruit and being punished for it by pain during childbirth for generations of women to come. maybe the "original sin" was eve getting raped and then now women have to deal with her trauma and convince themselves that sex is pleasurable.

and don't get me wrong, sex with B was good! and he'd always tell me that i wasn't like other girls because i was sexually healthy bc i could come easily and i wasn't coincée. but i think the issue was that im too sensitive for sex. like yes, i can come and feel pleasure and all of that, but i feel it too intensely. and sex as a concept feels super intense to me and i can't make peace with it because it's too much. it's too much stimulation, too many contradictions, too many feelings and instincts and it's just too complex for me to take in emotionally. like sometimes B and i would be having sex and id just like break down crying and shut down in the middle of it. and it felt good in a way. but it's too much for me, you know? maybe it was too much with B and now im recovering from it by not showering, who knows.

so idk. if i do end up finding the perfect partner for me, how would our sex life go? will i scream and cry like i did with B? will i make it into a competition with his exes like i did with B? will it make me feel terrible about my body like it did with B? will it feel like heaven like it did with B? or will it be healthy and calm and stable and peaceful and feel normal and safe?

#april

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cassandralexxx · 1 month

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If u know me irl don’t read this 🤩

like frfr specifically you know who you are don’t read this 🙏🙏🙏

anyways just stream of of consciousness internalized homophobia so if you don’t want to read my internal negative ramblings regarding my sexuality scroll 💕 I can’t stop thinking about Chapelle Roan’s song “good luck babe”. Like I keep listening to it and even when doing other things the lyrics remain on my mind. I don’t mean that in a “it’s stuck in my head” kind of way but instead like genuinely thinking about it. It’s a certain point the song feels painful to listen to. idk even though I am mostly out I still feel like I relate more to the subject of the song than roan. I connect more with being the person who will try to deny themself and live a life unfulfilled.

I thibk it’s bc within my personal life growing up (post realizing) I used to be desperate to be into guys but I never could make myself feel that. I couldn’t force my attraction to men and I couldn’t stop my attraction to women. It’s like I first realized I was gay after my first crush on a girl; up till that point I was still hopeful id develop feelings for men. freshman year at university during the first homecoming week despite coming out as gay to some of my peers I still tried to flirt with a guy. Idk I was so hopeful that through alcohol and flirtation I could “stop the feeling” but I couldn’t.

even now that I act more secure in my sexuality I’m not out to my dad nor his family or my moms family or my family friends. I would never marry a guy or whatever if it was for the purpose of hiding my sexuality bc that feels cruel to them but sometimes I wish to do something bc maybe that would let me be the idealized normal I had growing up.

idk it’s such a song where it feels like it’s being sung to me idk. Like even tho I say what I do I still think what if I just decide to find a “nice guy” and settle down. this song reminds me a lot of the conversation I had with someone 1.5 years ago where she called me crying after her friends wedding bc she was so sad that I could never be married like that bc I’m gay. She is bi so she can find a guy but I can’t have that and I deserve happiness too. (She was not sober hence the call) or a close friend of mine from high school that multiple times when we got drunk she would tell me about how she’s gay and would sometimes kiss one of our friends.

she’s dating a guy now.

it’s weird

even in this time that I think of as “so progressive” I know a lot of people who choose to repress themselves. Like yeah the song is about lesbians not bi ppl bc like bi ppl are still bi even in het relationships but like im talking about my close friends that yes they are lgbt but they will never claim that identity bc they feel the wrongness of it. Idk growing up and even sometimes now I remember thinking “if I was bi I’d be straight” bc like if I could choose I wouldn’t choose this.

sometimes I can’t handle the implication of what it means that I am a lesbian. And I think what if I just conform but like it reminds me of roans song. Good luck babe. It won’t work.

I can tell myself how great a guy is and how maybe we’d look good together but I can’t force my attraction. All I can feel is disgust. Which in turn disappoints me bc it’s like why do I feel this way.

I was talking to a friend the other day and I was trying to be like yes I understand that guy is hot but I’m not into him. And I was starting to be like I don’t know why that is and I realized oh yea that’s part of what makes me gay.

in media I feel like I relate more to the closeted character. I loved the happiest season, and I loved Harper. I felt for her, I felt that anxiety surrounding coming out about being herself. That didn’t change her love for Abby but it’s about herself. It devastated me and I saw myself in it.

I sometimes wish I lived in a world unlike our own.

#mylife #Does this make sense? No!#Pls pls pls do not read this east 🤩🤩🤩#Anyone else idrc bc you are not my IRLs 🥰#tw internalized homophobia

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hanibalistic · 5 months

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i have honestly been looking for ur blog for so long ur seriously one of the most talented writers i’ve ever seen… like im so serious rn you are AMAZING. and i know obviously i can’t convince someone how to feel about their own work (any artist can understand that) but i rlly want u to know that your writing back on jeonginks inspired me so much. even your small time stamps and drabbles really made me feel so happy and full of love!!! i think i was following that blog since like… levanter era which is insane to think about but after you disappeared i kept looking for your blog for so long and im so happy i found you because i love your writing so so so much you’re also a very sweet person and i look up to you a lot so thank you so so much for existing and writing, even if it’s not as much as before i think it’s good that you want to focus more on certain things rather than constantly putting out work. wow that was a long run on sentence, but seriously i am so happy to find you!

hello! thanks for leaving me a message. this is very sweet of you (♡˙︶˙♡) welcome back!

i am not entirely a hater of my own work, i won't say. some i definitely like more than others, but ultimately, i don't think i would have posted/kept something up if i truly didn't like it (except for the valentine trials). i do quite regret that i didn't save my time stamps. i feel i could have edited and reposted them (⇀‸↼‶) but it's alright. levanter... such a fun era, even though i forgot most of it. i was very young.

it's much easier for me the way i write fanfiction now. the worlds in my mind aren't that big but there are always a lot going on that sometimes a very long oneshot just isn't going to cut it ٩(๑`^´๑)۶ i really enjoy making world-building servers and just having world tags so i can just write whatever events of a specific universe and use the tag to contribute to the overall story. it's not ideal; not every reader wants to join random servers or keep up with that kind of inconsistency, but it's so much fun for me (╥﹏╥)

i am currently planning two oneshots, though. tumblr changing its post limits for paragraph breaks (?) gives me a chance to post in parts. i used to hate this (i kind of still do) but with the way i'm planning stories now, i think that might be a good thing. the felix work in progress has two story arcs. unless i post in parts, i'll never post it.

#anonie #reply #still thinking about 00line as bodyguards

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hcgrian · 3 years

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I HAVE to mention build swap era grian’s channel in fics i am physically unable to keep them out because it’s just so good especially in watcher aus espexially in MY watcher aus

Like in mine I see it as the watchers are kinda like the jedi from star wars where they find kids who would work well as watchers and kidnap children ask parents to give up their kid for the greater good.

Grian and all the build swap judges + Taurtus are all kidnapped children who work to keep the universe in check and make sure players move on with their updates (even though they can do it without them).

The watchers realm exists outside of time and space in the end realm. Watchers become immortal once they’re strong enough to grow their wings and fly and learn their magic, but until then they’re kept only in that realm unless it’s to go to a creative world to train. So the kids grow up not knowing anything different until they start working as watchers.

That’s when Grian starts to realize after MANY years that the watchers aren’t all that good despite them trying to be. And they won’t ever change and anyone who tries to change them gets killed. “It’s for the best” is what they say.

I actually have a watcher!grian playlist lol

so sorry for ranting i just love watcher grian

im sorry for replying to this so late IM SORRY

BUT OH MY GOD. BUILD SWAP BEING ON FANFICS, MENTIONS OR AUS IS LIKE MY FAVOURITE THING EVER I miss it so much

build swap has ALOT of potential for worldbuilding too.... i love when fics make the servers like small little worlds and make servers like hypixel or mentions other servers and hubs and and ITS SO GOOD and the watchers being part of it also makes other servers like EVO more relevant, was EVO just a test by the watchers? and why?

I REALLY like this ideas, about type of star wars stuff- they just steal children and they train away from all contact with other players or servers... that sounds EXACTLY like something they would do

to be honest, im not that big of a fan of the watchers being strictly this horrible and evil gods who will fuck you over and over just becuse of #EVIL and #EDGY

I like to see watchers as instead of pure evil creatures that cause chaos and want to 'control' everything, as gods who simply don't understand humanity and perhaps accidentally dehumanize all those children they steal because they dont understand how humans players feelings work

and with this,, accidently, maybe in the progress traumatizing these children who have no idea how questionable it is since they always lived in this environment

the watchers justifying questionable actions and ideals for 'the best' >>>>>

grian realizing after running away from the watchers, tired of these questionable rules and ideals and then going to hermitcraft and learning how to live and feel again like an ACTUAL person he never got to be at all.. it's like one of my favourites hcs of 'how grian got to hermitcraft' kinda thing

pearl also being a watcher is also one of my FAVOURITE headcanons, with the skyduo being siblings it just go PERFECTLY and with this i bring:

grian showing pearl she can also live and be free like they never could with the watchers,'they never considered themselves and their feelings, him showing her sister all this new stuff out of that black and white ideals the Watchers would tell them about

I also made a skyduo playlist with a friend, and im on my way to making my OWN grian playlist (from yhs to hc) and its sooo much fun

may u perhaps... share that playlist please... 🐈‍⬛

#kel asks #lockoutkey #kel talks #this is my first time using these tags wooooo🎉#grian #watcher grian #watcher pearl #pearlescentmoon #also PLEASE dont say sorry i loved this omg i LOVE watcher grian too and all the posibilities this made my whole week #i love talking sbout these stuff

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studioxlii · 3 years

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18 and Junhee pls!! Xx

"to be fully seen by somebody, then, be loved anyhow is a human offering that can border on miraculous."

proof read: kinda

warnings: none

note(s): the format might be garbage, im mobile.

Love is a weird thing but so are the conditions that come with it; the limits that people decide need to be in place. You understood boundaries or not wanting to take too many steps before you knew the relationship would hold but some things never sat right with you. It took a few years but it wasn't until you overheard some of your project group talking that it finally hit you; most people you knew didn't want to date their best friends for two reasons.

1. It could ruin their friendship. This reason was obvious and of course you understood.

2. They'd seen way too much.

You remember hearing those words and your head lifting, confused and wondering what that could even mean. When you were in a relationship that would eventually progress, weren't they just going to see those things anyway? You never could let that thought go, not once you decided that would only make it better; it would make a relationship stronger. Well, in your eyes.

Dating was something that seemed to come easier to you before those thoughts started polluting your mind; no one seemed to understand or see you in a way you really wanted. The ideal person for you was someone who saw everything; the bad days, the good days and the maybe okay but not so great days. It was really starting to mess with you. By not wanting to date certain friends, were you restricting yourself from the relationship you really wanted?

Only one person, one friend, knew you better than you knew yourself, you were positive of that. Your best friend of nine years, Junhee, had probably been through almost every bad thing possible in life with you. You began recalling all the situations you'd been in with each other that were memorable; the things you wouldn't have faced with anyone else because you didn't want anyone else to see.

'Do you remember when you got your belly button pierced?'

And that's when it began.

The question came out of nowhere, breaking the silence of your apartment and leaving Junhee to look up from his book confused and blinking. 'Uh.. yes?' His response came out slow, hesitant like he was missing some weird in-between the lines meaning of the question.

Your head tilted, finally looking over at him. 'Do you remember the way you squeezed my hand to the point it was purple because it hurt so bad you nearly passed out?'

His features flushed at the ridiculous memory being forced back into his head. 'You mean the same day you had to cling to me, crying because your first tattoo felt like your leg was being seared off?'

You hated crying in front of people for any reason but you couldn't go alone; you'd never go alone for something like that. You just nodded in response before returning to your own book, continuing to read like you hadn't brought the subject up at all.

Your first date after you began recalling things and getting far too deep in what could only be sentimental thoughts went okay. A friend of your friend's, Sehyoon, who was an art major and knew of you but didn't know you; he'd never really integrated himself into the small friend circle on campus but Byeongkwan spoke highly of him.

He was sweet; a gentleman. Pretty much anything you could really ask for but you noticed little things; minute things that didn't even matter. You felt like you were being unreasonable or judgmental despite only picking out things that didn't match. Didn't match what, exactly?

He wasn't Junhee.

The realization had you suddenly shooting up from your seat, interrupting the poor male's answer to your question about his major and spilling out several apologies as you even fought to put money down for your own food. It took quite a few more 'I'm really sorry's before you were speeding out of the small restaurant; you'd make sure to call him later.

You found yourself in the only place that made sense: banging hard on the door of the RA for your building, hardly caring if you disturbed anyone else.

'What?' was the greeting you received from a very frustrated Donghun, wanting nothing more than to be left alone again. And yes, you called each other your friend.

'We have a really, really big problem.'

Being a mutual friend and despite not wanting to get involved in anyone's "drama", he spent two hours talking you out of it, down from it and against it, reminding you just why your newfound feelings for your best friend were a problem. He even reminded you of your comment, three years ago, about how you could never possibly like Junhee; how he remembered that and you didn't, you didn't care to ask.

You returned home a wreck, tired and wanting to burn your own emotions. Were you really uncovering some unconsciously buried feelings or did you just like the fact that he /saw/ you? He'd seen you nearly on your deathbed sick.

He'd seen you living in a depression nest for two weeks, barely able to get out a bed and eating nothing but honey buns and cereal.

He'd seen you grieve family members and pets; seen you walk into the rain and scream at the top of your lungs because of how lost in despair you'd been.

He'd seen you drunk and stupid; he'd seen you the night after a one night stand and hungover to the point you wanted to fight the sun.

He'd sat by you absolutely throwing your guts up.

He had seen every single side of you and you'd seen the same from him but it only started to stack further and further.

You knew his favorite songs because God forbid he only have one. You knew his favorite color, favorite food and his weird retirement plan that involved a tiny petting zoo of his own that he refused to just call a farm. Your pins for everything were each other's birthdates and he was the only other name on your bank account. Why?

Staring down at the menu you'd seen over a hundred times, you were sure, you couldn't decide on just what sounded good and part of you just wanted everything. Those moments staring at words that started to blur, you noticed Junhee hadn't touched his menu and kept shifting around, visibly uncomfortable for reasons you couldn't possible figure out.

'It's unlike you to not be going off about the food here.. or already having ordered your favorite drink that, I recall, you said you'd die without if you didn't have it every time you came here,' you began, closing the menu and setting it down with narrowed eyes, 'what's going on?'

'It's stupid. Just.. order and get some food, I'll probably just eat later. I'm not really hungry.'

That was a bold faced lie and you knew it, the concern growing. 'And, what's the oh-so-stupid reason, exactly?'

It took him a minute, shifting more and acting like a child who had gotten in trouble. 'I, uh.. I can't really..' he gestured around, lips pursed and growing even more upset by the second, you could tell by the way he was trying to stop himself from frowning. 'Can't really afford it.' You were college students, it wasn't the world's biggest secret if you couldn't afford something.

'Do you really think I'm just going to eat in front of you?' You snorted, avoiding any comment that would further his being upset over the situation, 'Don't worry about it and order, okay?'

Financial struggles were no quiet matter between the two of you and never had been since you started school. Junhee lived off campus in an apartment with two shitty roommates, a terrible part time job and parents that pretty much didn't care if he perished on the side of the street somewhere. You, on the other hand, which you didn't like bringing up, were doing fine but only because your parents dropped something of an 'allowance' into your account for foods and necessities.

You ignored his attempt to argue and told him if he didn't order something, you were going to do it for him; he shut up.

The next day, you took a trip to the bank.

You could feel eyes on you as you splayed across the couch, staring at the ceiling and contemplating life and all of it's annoyances. No question left you but even if you wanted to say something, you were cut off.

'So, are you going to tell me what's going on? For the past.. three weeks? You've been asking me all sorts of weird stuff,' Junhee inquired, frowning thoughtfully, 'Are you testing me or something? Trust me, yes, I remember every single second I've spent with you. I remember every word you've said, the names of every guy you've been with and the ones I'd like to fight. I remember every birthday and gift I've given you and the ones you've given me. Yes, I remember your favorite things and everything so, what's the deal?'

It sounded sentimental at first but then you noticed that all too familiar waiver in his voice and out of the corner of your eye, you noticed his hands fiddling with the chain bracelet that had adorned his wrist for five years; he wanted to cry. A crying Junhee was something no one ever wanted on your hands and you briefly recalled a phone call from a very panicked Byeongkwan because of just that but you were letting your thoughts get off topic.

'I think I'm in love with you.'

'If you don't want to be fri-'

You were both cut off as your head turned to finally look at him, soaking in the unreadable expression on his features when someone busted through the door; 'Look!'

Both of you looked towards your two friends that invited themselves into your door, one holding a new cat and the other looking just as pleased with the announcement but it gradually dropped. 'Shit, did we interrupt something?' Of course, you always knew when you finally and truly confessed to someone that it would be Byeongkwan who ruined the whole thing; you used it as an escape, though, reminding yourself of what the confession could do to your friendship.

'New minion, I see,' you chimed, sitting up and ignoring the question, both of them, as you rose to greet Donghun's new pet. You were ignorant to the looks shared between the three boys and you were happy about that.

Now, you just had to avoid it ever coming up again until it was forgotten.

Junhee, however, didn't want that to happen.

After about an hour of chitchatting and ignoring the gaze of your best friend, you excused yourself under the excuse of having a meetup for a class, despite it being your dorm, and managed to weasel your way out. There was really nowhere to go, no one to talk to and you surely didn't have any plans for the next week; you ended up at the café on campus. It was quiet and filled mostly with a few students doing work and the two members of staff behind the counter, one eventually joining you at the table. He didn't say anything, waited for you to stop your dramatic Disney scene and acknowledge him.

'Would you date me, Yu?'

Taken a bit off guard, he ended up snorting. 'I can't tell if this is a trap or you want the genuine answer,' he replied, crossing his arms atop the table, 'but, on the hand that it's serious.. probably. I mean, I definitely wouldn't turn you down. We've known each other for a few years, hang out on a regular basis.. get along and have a lot of similar interests. So, yeah.'

The answer made your lips draw into a deep frown and you tapped your fingers against the cup, soaking up every word. 'Even though we're friends? What if we broke up?'

A soft 'ah' came from him as he realized what was really going on and he shrugged, thinking it over for a minute or two. 'We're both adults and I don't believe either of us would do something so that the breakup would be something that could ruin our friendship. I understand it would be like.. friends then it being intimate then back to friends, but I think both of us are mature enough to deal with that and not let it bother us too much.' He spoke like he'd been through it several times and in reality, it had only been once, a small fling with a mutual friend but they still seemed pretty okay. 'Is this about Jun?'

'Does everyone know?' You groaned out, releasing the cup to lean back and rub your hands over your face in defeat, 'I.. I told him I think I love him then Kwan and Donghun showed up and I bailed because now I don't actually want to face him or admit to ever actually saying it. I do! I do love him! I don't.. I don't want to lose him, you know?'

You could see the way the latter looked at you, sympathetic and calculating what words wouldn't just stress you out further. 'Look.. I know you don't want to hear it from me or anyone else for that matter because you want to keep saying it'll ruin your friendship when in reality, you don't like the idea that you could hurt each other, I was the same way with Donghun, so I understand.. but, you should really see all this from an outsider's point of view. Junhee looks at you like you hung the moon and you look at him like he painted the stars; yes, it's been like that since I've met you and a reminder, it's been years. I don't know what took you so long to realize it or if you've just avoided it this whole time but anyone would have to be blind not to see it. Now,' he sighed deeply as he finished and straightened, 'I think you should probably go and talk to him about it considering you just confessed then ditched but it's your choice. I don't think you have anything to worry about.. for either of you. You're the most loyal person I know, so I have no doubt you'd ever hurt him in a way that would ruin you guys and he can barely swat at a fly or sit still through hearing thunder, you think he's going to do something? Regardless.. one of these days, soon, you'll have to face it and I really hope you don't go into it with the cliché reason of your friendship being ruined.'

The words sank in slow and you wanted nothing but to cry your eyes out because he was right; he always was and you hated it. It took a while for you to speak and he seemed okay with that, briefly leaving you to fill a couple orders before returning. 'I know you're leaving for break tomorrow.. tell him before then.' Those were his last words before he bid you good luck and a good night, heading back to his own dorm, most likely to call Donghun now that he'd projected just a little bit.

Irrationality was a word that would be in your character description box and the word stupid could very well be right next to it because when you got home, you packed your bag and decided to leave early, not bothering to let any of your friends know. You needed time and you were being selfish, so selfish to the point you thought maybe he'd just hate you when you got back.

Oh boy were you wrong.

Two days into being back home and confiding in your mother who promptly smacked you upside the back of the head, you found yourself sitting on the porch and moping, split between what to do. You suspected the boys were a bit angry with you when you noticed the ample amount of texts, voicemails, social messages and phone calls that had gone ignored; you caught a glimpse of the absolute book Yuchan took the time to send you, leaving you kind of scared to even open it. It didn't take long for the guilt to set in but you chose to wait until you were back on campus to deal with it.

Or at least, that was your plan.

'So, I know you've never been a fan of confrontation but.. you've never been the type to run away.'

The sudden voice startled you as you hadn't even noticed anyone pull up and of course, upon looking up, you were met with the face you were trying to avoid the most. Junhee stood at the end of the sidewalk looking pitiful and shifting his weight in a nervous manner. You didn't bother trying to speak, not knowing what to say but you did wait for the rant, the berating that you deserved; that wasn't who he was though.

He even stayed quiet for a minute or two, making his way closer to sit on the steps, looking up towards your figure. 'Did you mean it?'

You could have answered right away, poured your heart out and let out the tears you'd been holding in since the moment you left. Instead, you stayed quiet and pulled your knees closer to your chest, not trusting your own voice. He didn't relent though, reaching out to lightly nudge your knee.

'That's all I need to know.. did you mean it? If.. if you didn't I can just leave and we don't have to bother with it again.'

'And, if I did..?' Finally finding your voice, you looked over to him, chewing hard on your lower tier, nervous and kind of wanting to throw up.

You could see him thinking it over before a faint smile showed up. 'I'd most likely cry.. but I'm going to cry either way,' he began, shrugging his shoulders while moving up to sit next to you, 'I'd also tell you that I love you, too and I've been trying to tell you that for years now.'

The confession made your heart flutter, your skin burn and the butterflies being kept back burst in delight in your gut. 'Even.. after everything we've been through? Everything you've seen..?'

Junhee nodded. 'Mhm. I'd go through it all again and what do you mean? I've seen nothing but you.'

#fairieswritings #a.c.e #junhee #clicheprompts #a.c.e scenarios #a.c.e reactions #a.c.e x reader #a.c.e imagines #a.c.e drabbles #kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop drabbles #kpop reactions #kpop imagines

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sakkac · 3 years

Text

re: fumetsu no anata e as of chapter 139.2

this started as a response to @bestbonnist‘s post on chapter 139.2 but now i’m just dissecting differences and similarities between tonari, mizuha, and kahak like im writing an essay for a uni class. i interchangeably use he/they pronouns for fushi and my writing may be clumsy (bc im not actually writing for uni ❤️).

mizuha is a broken mirror to tonari (and kahak a foil to the two aforementioned) in this modern-day arc, especially in their expressions of love for fushi. tonari’s love for fushi is aged over hundreds of years and mizuha’s, at first glance, is an infatuation just based on how long they’ve known each other. im the biggest kahak stan ever, but even i understand kahak’s love started as an infatuation for parona’s form. though, i’d consider the word infatuation compromised when it comes to defining mizuha’s love, bc u cant be sure if her love for fushi is entirely her own, seeing as it had been passed from generation to generation of guardians.

(chapter 134, read right to left)

tonari and mizuha aren’t that different once you look deeply into the both of them. mizuha’s personality and actions are factors in tonari’s dislike of her, but what ultimately repels tonari from mizuha is that she knows they’re similar, and that manifests most clearly in how she reacts to fushi being with mizuha. i.e. resenting fushi for using her friends’ vessels to help their “love life” in chapter 135.5. she can’t stand mizuha bc mizuha is able to express her love for fushi and fushi does not reject (or accept) it; tonari still hasn’t fully admitted to herself that she likes fushi romantically (perhaps because she can’t separate it from the devotion that led her to harden her body to poisons and to promise her corpse to rest at fushi’s feet), so seeing mizuha appear to progress further than she has irritates her. as for kahak, tonari only has the biases of the other pseudo-immortals and her own of past hayase reincarnations to rely on. (this is not as plot-related, but these two also both like books. kahak read tonari’s fushi book, so i wish they actually met, but in a world where tonari didnt hate hayase beyond death.)

tonari as a child seemed like she thought herself superior to others, perhaps a natural result of her upbringing. she was raised on a prison island, but she herself never committed any crime; banding together w other kids like her, writing about her life in her book (which keeps her separate from or above others in a way). but this thinking ceases at her relationship w fushi. however, i believe this started before they even met. tonari’s childhood dream at seven years old was to write a book her father would be impressed by. she also used to believe in god, while her family was still whole. she even prayed to god when he decided to participate in the tournament in chapter 35. however, she stops referring to god by the time her father had shown tarnish. coincidentally, she meets fushi, who would “upend everything... jeannanda and [her] fate.” she ends up, instead of writing for her father, writing a book to allow a peaceful existence for fushi for whenever they decided to come back. this act shows that the adult tonari has written fushi to a level above her, out of her reach.

(chapter 35)

here i’ll quote ray’s words about kahak and tonari: “she also has a surprising amount in common with Kahaku, too, with the ‘I want to protect you even if you disagree.’” the way tonari had waited and honed her body for fushi resembles kahak’s attachment; she had finished living for herself, so now she was only allowing herself to live to further create an ideal vessel for fushi (which also brings up one of hayase’s goals). the difference is that kahak lived for fushi because, as raikkousaki said, fushi was the only thing he was “ALLOWED to live for.” however, while tonari is unquestionably devoted to fushi now, what pulled her to him was black hood’s coercion. as a result of black hood’s words to her, she manipulated fushi into helping her solve her problems, to save her from the island. this first “meeting” also revealed that she was attracted to their white hair; she later admits that she admires their fair skin, contributing to the idea that she could view fushi as the equivalent of a god or at the least, a vision of purity (which is :/ imo, bc of her dark skin). we should also keep in mind that, this, technically her first impression of fushi, and his later display of violent immortality in the arena would further his image as a “legend.”

mizuha was exposed to fushi’s immortality and reveres him like tonari and kahak respectively do and did. instead of the specific word “legend,” it’s “immortal monster.” her first formal exposure to fushi’s fabled power was not unlike tonari’s, since mizuha had went into her grandfather’s library and read on fushi in chapter 124.1. after this, she manipulates fushi to save her, again paralleling the beginning of tonari’s relationship with fushi, but it’s from her overbearing mother and herself. both tonari and mizuha forced their problems onto fushi, but mizuha doesn’t have black hood stepping in front of her saying “you must lead him.” instead, she may have been influenced by the left hand, but i believe mizuha’s thoughts are majorly her own (left hand lies in wait within mizuha’s consciousness like a predator), and what they appear to say is that she’s leading fushi until he decides to follow her willingly. as for kahak, we only have a few pages on his childhood and what we can make of it and of his actions as an adult is that he was willing to follow fushi wherever they went, until left hand betrayed them both.

mizuha’s superiority complex comes from a different place than young tonari’s; she was a prestigious child from young, in addition to her fear of her uniqueness fading as she aged. this caused her to feel separate from other children. when she meets fushi, she sees how different he is from everyone else and uses subtle ways to keep him with her, while never directly admitting she wants him to stay with her, except for ch 125′s “i’m scared. stay with me tonight,” after her mother’s sudden murder. she usually uses excuses instead, like cutely demanding fushi to walk with her after school and go on dates with her.

(chapter 36 vs. chapter 128.2)

as fushi was introduced to the people around tonari and mizuha, they received similar reactions, i.e. “your hair is so pretty!” and “woah, his hair is white!” in the pages following these, the similarities continue into tonari and mizuha gaining ownership over fushi: in ch 36 oopa declares “tonari found him. so he belongs to tonari,” while the islanders try to get on fushi’s good side, and in ch 128 fushi goes out of their way to ask which club mizuha belongs to when asked to join a club (vocalizing her claim on them so she doesn’t have to directly do so).

(chapters 38, 106, and 139)

when the opening comes for mizuha to actually admit her feelings in chapter 139, she tries, but demands instead, “so... love me.” this recalls kahak’s confession to kai in 105.3, that he wants to “protect fushi’s humanity.” kahak and mizuha were both covered in blood when they spoke, but the atmospheres and characters are different; mizuha is clever w her words, but still too immature to let go of her pride, whereas kahak was the exact opposite. he rid of himself of his pride for fushi when he was a child, but said a lot of the wrong things to fushi when it came down to it. additionally, mizuha, when she wants something, she’ll phrase her words so that it seems like there’s only one choice: to follow her. this has been the case for others including fushi (chapters 120.2′s testing of hanna with “if i died, would you cry for me?” and 132.1′s “i’ll teach you about love” and the following guilt-trip). tonari is more direct with her words and meaning than either mizuha or kahak, bc of her personality. she directly confronts fushi when she realizes he had felt betrayed by her in chapter 38, because she still needed him for his plans. but mizuha is more direct with her actions; in chapter 129.1, she latches herself onto fushi, while trying to get information out of him. after the failed marriage proposal, rather than physically attaching himself to fushi like mizuha, kahak used acts of domesticity and protection to subtly appeal to and maintain his space next to them.

(chapter 38 vs chapter 139)

tonari’s “there are people in this world who are better off dead” above isn’t far from the knockers’ reasoning behind “wishing for death is paramount to being dead” and the reason for mizuha’s mother’s death: left hand decided to “eliminate the cause of [mizuha’s breaking point’s] stress.” what this shows is that tonari can also justify murder, though granted, this is from a hundred chapters ago. however, this black and white thinking comes back in the modern era where tonari holds prejudice against mizuha because of her relation to hayase. tonari knows her dislike of mizuha is unfair, she can’t get around it. tonari is still as prideful as she was when she lived on jeannanda; it’s just that she is able to use fushi to justify her opinions now. i also want to bring up mizuha’s reaction to her mother’s death and funa’s knocker’s “purging and guidance.” mizuha seems comfortable with the sight of death, despite having a more normal childhood than tonari, because her actual main concern overwhelms it; she is always thinking on how she can appeal to fushi (almost like kahak), or in other words, how to salvage her pride. so instead of being concerned over being the actual murderer, she is concerned with appearing as a murderer to fushi.

so to actually answer ray’s question, objectively, tonari’s love is as excessive as kahak and mizuha’s. but personally, i think tonari’s love for fushi right now is also unhealthy, though it comes out of good will. kahak’s love also ended in fushi’s benefit, but it was undoubtedly unhealthy. and ofc, mizuha’s love is also unhealthy; she reaches for fushi for perfection, tonari reaches for fushi for humility.

#fumetsu no anata e #kahak #fnae spoilers #🔖#long

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i-may-be · 2 years

Note

hi! i would love a romantic and platonic matchup for haikyuu and mha if it’s not too much trouble<3

my names is casey, my pronouns are she/her and im 17! i don’t have any preference with gender or anything so just go wild! there’s also not anyone i wouldn’t mind being matched with! for my personality i am pretty introverted at first but i get progressively clingyer💀 not in a text u every five mins way but where im very physically affectionate. speaking of physical affection, that’s my love language! it’s hard for me to express my feelings into words, i would much rather hugs! my mbti is infj or isfj, not sure. my only major kin is sugawara koushi!my enneagram is 1w2 and i relate to it very heavily. im a perfectionist, and i set unrealistic goals, and though it’s gotten better over quarantine, i still push myself to my limits and have a hard time knowing when to stop. also this is going to sound horribly cliche but i injured my knee while playing volleyball and then pretending i was fine and refusing to get off court. in volleyball, my position is middle blocker and i am 176cm. ive always loved fruit since i was a kid and my favourite food is probably watermelon! fun fact about me is that the only thing i can drink is water because fizzy drinks hurt my tounge! also my taste buds are like crazy strong, to the point my food has to be made perfectly (ie by me) or i will know:/ id say my fashion sense is very light academia and baggy clothes with jewelry. my favourite song is probably anything mitski, she holds a very special place in my heart. two of my favs are because dreaming cost money, my dear, and last words of a shooting star. im not a huge movie watcher, but my sisters favourite is spirit away and I’ve watched it with her so many times i just say it’s my favourite too. speaking of my sister, i love her death. being an older sister is part of my identity and whoever i date has to love her too!!! my ideal date is probably a picinic or library, somewhere quiet we can sit and talk, maybe watch the sunset or the stars. for my ideal relationship i would need someone trustworthy, who i know would be 100% loyal. i also appreciate humour and people who understand my level of mocking loving sarcastic. and for the very important question, i would die a hundred times over to live in london. not just to tour, but to live. my dream city 💕 my hobbies are piano, learning french japanese and asl, volleyball, and world geography! i would love to travel as much as humanly possible. things that make me smile are when people braid my hair, and reach out to hold my hand. i also love messy sketches, and people talking about anything their passionate about. i never get bored with teachers rambling about their families, or people just sharing their opinions. this is probably unrelated but i remember when i was 14 i opened the door to these church people who just kept talking about ‘our lord and savior’ but i just couldn’t bring myself to close the door on them, they just sounded so passionate and i had to hear them out. they left about 45 mins later and i got a pamphlet. thank you so much for putting up with my rambling lol, hopes this isn’t too much trouble!

hello! thank you for chosing this blog for your matchup <3

HAIKYUU

PLATONIC MATCHUP: Kenma Kozume

HOW YOU MET

Ok ok ok, your volleyball teams are getting food after a match away- idk they did that when I did sport- and you both so happen to be at the same resturaunt right?? Right, super chill innit!

SO you're both in a similar area, having fun and all, when your groups start to mingle because teens get bored, and boom next thing you know Kozume is being dragged over to socialise by yamamoto and the gang innit.

He is very much awkward and a little grumbly but he sometimes says things and some of them are haha funny so boo-ya win for nekoma for having comedians.

There aren't many scenarios where you would meet him otherwise, but when your teams are good at volleyball in your game, you kind bump into each other sometimes and just grow more familiar with each other and boo-yah let's go.

RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS

I feel like you'd both have very different view on things, but it'd be spunky and fresh so who doesn't want that? Mega oppsites but besties type-beat. I'm not sure why but I feel like he'd lowkey talk shit to you for no reason, not about anything in particular, just about a game he's frustrated with or Kuroo being annoying.

He is the cat following you around. If you're at a gathering together, he just trails behind you. Praying to anyone who talks to you, Kozume has some of the most expressive annoyed/disgusted faces- he doesn't even hide it from you. Praying for whoever tries to flirt with you because he thinks that shits out of the world. Will try to minimise it if you like the person, but do not expect him to if he's left in the dark. President of the Casey protection squad.

I feel like you'd both be able to find a better balance of work productivity and taking care of yourselves with each other. He'd definitely notice any injury you have and have you off any court just so you can rest- full 24 hour supervision. Switch around, you would probably motivate him to be more productive in hobbies besides gaming, like volleyball or school stuff idk. It's honestly really sweet how you can both balance each other's productivity levels well.

HANGING OUT

You two going clothes shopping, perfect. You both have very similar styles, and relatively similar sizes(he's 170, 6cm smalled so that's not much and it depends on body proportions). I feel like you would influence his style a lot. Not sure why but I have this idea that he would give you those cheap jewlery packs whenever you go out. Might steal a couple he really likes, but it's yours for the most part. Not sure why but he's into fashion, so prepare for a nose scrunch if your outfit doesn't match, he likes patterns and nice colour schemes, I think he's got it from playing aesthetically pleasing and pretty games.

Picnics... definitely picnics. I think he forgets to eat sometimes, either that or he struggles to eat full meals, so having picnics with sandwiches and strawberries and cookies, I think it would be something that would help him eat more without it being too much for him. That was kind of an unrelated rant- but Kozume would really like picnics, even if he grumbles about it when it's being organised. Prepare to have a daisy chain necklace everytime you have a picnic because he thinks they're fun to make!

Predictable, but video games! I think if he was to find a particularly good multiplayer storymode games, you'd be his first call. Likes to share his thoughts with you while gaming, share stats and stuff idk. It's honestly really chill and he finds it fun to talk to you about it, probably because you're such a fantastic listener.

ROMANTIC MATCHUP: Hitoka Yachi

HOW YOU MET

Her mother left her in the lobby of a hotel while she was doing classy fashion designer business woman things like discussing a fashion shoot or smth but the point is she was in a hotel lobby and your family were at the hotel for a family gathering dinner.

Maybe it's just me but I feel like it's so much easier to talk to people when you have a friend already with you, so when you ended up talking to Yachi with your sister the conversation wasn't entirely awkward.

You noticed she was very lonely and the three of you just ended up walking around the hotel together looking at the cool interior and old feel that a lot of hotels have for some reason??? might just be a thing with the hotels I've seen, who knows.

Anyway, the later the night the more you loosen up, and by the end of the night you found yachi's mother speaking with your parent/guardian and having a nice little chat like adults do. Long story short now when you recognise each other on the street so do your respective guardians.

RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS

Your younger sister becomes her younger sister in seconds. I feel like Yachi has always wanted to be an older sibling at heart, and there is no way in the seven seas she would let go of that chance. She's an absolute sweetheart, I feel like your little sister would adore when you bring her over!!

Her way of flirting so so adorable and shy I can't even begin- The scenario inwhich there's a song on and she sings the lyrics of a romance song while looking at you. Any kind of romance song too- 5sos "You look so perfect standing there" or pulling out a hozier "we should just kiss like real people do" idk bro. When she found out you were a huge fan of Mitski her friends were instantly swomped with messsages on help to gather the courage to sing "i want you" or something idk. Singing songs as a love language fr.

oh you sunset watchers and moon lovers. I think your thing would be sending the moon to each other as a goodnight or something. Maybe it's just my attachment to sunsets because I can see a very pretty sunset from my bedroom window, but they're so gorgeous. You two waiting for the sunset before you both seperate home, or one of you is staying over and you mark it as the time you go make brownies or something who knows.

HANGING OUT

okokok, but you two having picnics and whatnots, but also your pre-picnic prep where you bake together and make sandwiches. I love the idea of yachi baking with her s/o for some reason, I just think it's a must for any romantic relationship she is in. No fr you guys bake the best treats together I will not take any criticism I would eat anything you both bake. Give all of your picnic leftovers to me please I am not allergic to anything.

House dates, at yours or hers. She likes the feel of homes, I'm not sure how to explain it but I know it. Even going out for the day and then returning to the house. I feel like she would even feel more comfortable in her own home if you came over more, and you would even find something she'd lost just laying around your house after she forgot to take it with her. Yachi and the association of home>>>> I will not be opening this conversation for argument.

I am going insane this one got me so hyped for no reason but LEARNING LANGUAGES TOGETHER!!!! you two exchanging notes and speaking in that language to improve your own comprehension would be such a vibe!! I find it really hard to learn languages without speaking in the language with someone, so I am claiming Yachi as someone who also learns languages like this so!! yeah!!

MY HERO ACADEMIA

PLATONIC MATCHUP: Denki Kaminari

HOW YOU MET

I'm not entirely sure why but Kami feels like the kind of dude you always hear about in drama or just having a lot of friends. but you never see him in public and the only way you'd get a chance to meet him is through a mutual friend. I don't know if anyone else has this kind of dude in their area but I do.

But I digress- you both met through a mutual friend. He may have flirted with you a tiny bit but then realise you're not his type(he won't stop crying over punk people leave him be) and just layed off.

I think you both had your first proper conversation because he found you doing piano very cool and had questions and went on and on despite not knowing much, just going of off what you told him and recognising the piano in songs he likes.

Probably got one of your socials from the mutual friend and texted you a lil until you both met up with a group of friends again. This happened progressively more until one thing leads to another and bing bong you're both closer and meeting outside of the friendgroup, we love progression.

RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS

Type of mf to make edits of his friends. He'd have so many videos and pictures of you, and some you didn't even know were being taken(loves to show them to you though, so there isn't a video/picture he's taken that you haven't seen dw). He's also unironically good at editing??? You have some of the edits he's made saved to your device because he just makes them so aesthetically pleasing and chill.

ALSO gets progressively clingyer. People who have seen you friendship progress think it's funny because you both were previously more tame with physical touch but now whenever you watch something together or hang out there are arm grabs, cuddles and hugs galore.

Similar to Yachi, but your sister is now his. Type of sibling to tell the younger santa isn't real but beat up anyone else who tells them santa isn't real. He's actually a sweetheart when he's not using humor as a coping mechanism.

HANGING OUT

Type to call you late at night and go "I have a great idea" and that great idea is going to a 24 hour shop and buying plushies and really low quality toys. Either that or you both wander around the shop for an hour(depending on the shop size) and come out with nothing but a bottle of water. I think he likes to see what shops have for no real reason, and he likes to bring you along because you're chill, who wouldn't wanna bring you along.

not sure why I chose this for both or your platonic matchups but playing video games together. Very passionate about mario lore, I can feel it. It's honestly really sweet because he's always just so happy to be playing the game. Definitely a group hangout thing, but ends up having a 1-on-1 convo with you at some point while the others do there celebrating and serious gaming or whatever type of gamer they are idk.

Has asked you to teach him how to play volleyball and is positively horrific at it but still enjoys playing with you. He has the strength for it he just isn't good at focusing on technique. Has flirted with atleast one of your teammates after coming to watch your games. Can get very derailed while playing too, very easily distracted and has probably been hit in the face after a good ol' shocked moment.

ROMANTIC MATCHUP: Mezo Shoji

HOW YOU MET

Type of guy you've known since you were like 3 from school. Like he was just always kind of there, and you both vibed a little bit and wahoo colouring and stuff 2 y/o education fr.

You both really became good friend when you were like 15 or something, like the dude in your class who's just chill with everyone and doesn't get into beef. Most are stunned that he isn't in a relationship because he's so cool aa.

Ok that was a rant on about nothing, but I standby what I said. Anyhow, you both have such funs and laughs and boom kachow feelings oh my gosh these feelings are like nothing I've ever felt before. unless you've had a s/o you liked a lot of course.

But you both became super comfortable in each other's company!! Honestly you're both just so cute and it feels like the couple no one can really dispute because someone can see Shoji looking at you and they go "Oh my gosh this mf is whipped"

RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS

Hand grabber. He doesn't even play with your hand or anything he just snatches it up in his and it feels so very nice and warm. He doesn't mind if you play with his hands but he probably won't play with yours. He doesn't tease a hand hold either- like how some people pinky lock or something- he just takes your hand.

I think he would be very good at enforcing the idea of letting yourself be freed from perfectionism(the way I explained that was not perfect) He knows how to subconciously enforce ideas that are better for your mental health and stuff. You can actually tell he's doing it with other people. Very good at choosing his words and takes his time to answer people. He's such a sensitive guy gosh.

Not sure what it is with me and associating Shoji with hands, but he would write cute stuff on you hands. From cute cat doodles to little reminders and stuff- like writing "i love you" or "take care of yourself" and drawing little hearts. I think notes in general he just likes to give you. It's a hyperspecific little gift giving thing he does.

HANGING OUT

Chillest vibes. I think he likes to take his time when he's talking. The best person ever to fall asleep listening to because he's just so calming and comforting!! Very levelheaded conversations together, anywhere and everywhere. Doesn't at all mind your friends thirdwheeling because he likes to hear people talk to!! Honestly I feel like you would manage well on your own and with a group because he's very good at having a presence with people. Big hugable bear. Gosh.

oh my gosh Shoji playing volleyball, this is a curse. He is so tall this is unfair. Anyway also middleblocker behaviour. I'm not entirely sure how it would work with his quirk situation, would it be considered cheating?? I dunno bro, not sure how his quirk works as a hero but he'd figure it out he's like one of the top students I think.

library dates.... yes.... he's a smart guy, very good at focusing on studying, but who doesn't love discussing the material, and I think you would both be very objective for the most part, with lil sprinkles of personal feelings to give it some pazazz. Not sure why but he would study such cool topics, like I feel like he would know a lot about African mythology for no particular reason, it's just cool innit. Loves sharing his cool little interests, but you opening up about yours also makes him go <3

#haikyuu matchup #haydens matchups!!!#hq matchup #matchups #hq matchups #kozume kenma #haikyuu kozume #kenma kuzome #my hero academia #mezo shoji #denki kaminari #mha kaminari

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dickgreyson · 4 years

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dearest symeona

i’d like to join your little discussion and fill you in, since you were watching cat videos last year and seemed to miss everything. sounds like a much nicer time than i was having! because at the time i was being sent death threats and anti semitic hate for a holding a fairly uncontroversial opinion, or at least in the circles in which i run.

yes, i got upset seeing damian in a santa hat. because for the last few years, my dash every christmas is pretty jam packed full of christmas themed batfam posts and art. and as a jewish person, understanding that the creators of bruce and most of the batfam are jewish, i found this to be quite confusing and hurtful. and let’s just get this out of the way, bruce is jewish. dc has even published articles about this, and has confirmed it in a pussy way. but even without that, his mother, kate’s maternal aunt, is a jew. that means that bruce is a jew. unless he takes real concrete steps to renounce his faith and community, ethnically he’s still jewish. and he can be an atheist and STILL BE JEWISH. there are actually atheist rabbis, who just really love our culture and tradition, want to have a central role in the community, and guide other jews in a positive direction. and thats actually pretty wonderful. because again, judaism is just as much an ethnicity as it is a religion.

over the years, christians have written bruce as catholic and christian and atheist, and a broad range of other things. hell, in the 80s the phrase ‘caped crusader’ was coined by a christian writer, and i dont love hearing him referred to as that. i think it goes against the very core of why he was created as a jewish allegory. the same goes for people who believe superman is a jesus allegory - he isnt. he was written as a modern day moses parallel. also by jewish authors. he’s a jewish character to his core too. the author of the 1990whatever robin run even said he wanted tim to be jewish, and showed his mother in a jewish cemetery. its not as if intent isnt there.

comics as a whole were created by jewish people, to tell jewish stories to a wider audience. yes, there is some old official art of bruce and dick standing in front of a christmas tree. and that might maybe be because.... it was from the 40s. and i dont know if you noticed but in the 40s americans werent really fond of jews, and neither was the world at large. judging by the response of people in my inbox, they still arent. so these characters can still be jewish allegories, written by jewish people to convey jewish ideals and stories, in an antisemitic world. back then this lipservice needed to be paid in the name of assimilation, and i would have hoped today the need for this would have diminished.

i hope thats enough context to introduce what happened last year, i was upset that it was all going to start again, and made it known. the artist even reached out to me, and listened to my point of view. because this actually, at the end of the day, isnt a huge deal. and im not sure why it grew, and why other people got involved, when the artist, urs, and i had sorted it out. it became a lightning rod for ‘free speech/art’ anti semitic crusaders.

what is a huge deal though is the hate and vitriol and racism and anti semitism that poured out of the people who associate with your side. Urs, my brave friend who vocally stood by me, received countless hateful messages about her being a survivor and a first nations american. i cant even count how many times i was called a kike.

so the real problem here wasnt the santa hat, it was that a jewish and native american person expressed unhappiness about something, and was met with a disgusting display of hate. thats the problem. that your side was so ready to resort to death threats and slurs. because someone expressed an opinion.

I believe that there is a difference between a person choosing to celebrate a holiday, and a non jewish artist drawing jewish/created by jewish people’s characters celebrating christian holidays. because the jewish person has a choice, but the character does not. at this point in time, there are very few practicing jewish and muslim characters in comics, and in media at large. so i dont think it’s appropriate to make everything christian and say no big deal. i think its more important to display diversity in faith and culture, even if dc is reticent because of cultural antisemitism at large.

when it comes to damian, i can’t speak to that with the same certainty and intensity as i can to the others, since im not muslim. but i do know that several writers have intended him to be muslim (again never committing in canon because comic fans are obviously not very progressive people), and muslim members of this fanbase have really connected with him. and i think showing art where he is muslim, and practices that in a loving and meaningful way, is way more significant and impactful than drawing him in a fucking santa hat.

it is actually very important for jewish people to conserve and practice our culture, and to be vocal about doing so. because people have tried to take it away from us time and time again. so to just brush this aside and say that ‘christmas is a coca cola ad so who cares’ (?) isnt good enough. because we were killed for practicing chanukah, so now its really important that we do. that we remember our tradition, and we pass it on. that we dont allow it to be wallpapered over in the name of assimilation.

all that needed to have happened was for someone to accept and admit that these are characters created by jewish people, to tell jewish stories, and act accordingly and respectfully.

so the problem, in the end, was that i was viciously and ruthlessly attacked for being a jewish woman with an opinion on something, and 10 months later deciding to get involved? i think thats a bad look babe xx

#lots of love!#good to rb #long post #lets just get this out of the way instead of vaguing lmao

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still-a-morosexual-help · 3 years

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AAhh I really like 45 it pushed the story along while also being just hilarious and touching and it was just so good!! 46 was just pokemon battles...

OBEY ME! LESSON 45 DETAILED SUMMARY

At breakfast the most of the brothers crowd around MC and ask them how different appliances work, Asmo apologizes for them and then immediately asks MC something as well and well Belphie calls him out on it he says he hasn't been in the human world for a really long time and things have changed. Beel says that the human world progresses so fast that it makes him dizzy and Asmo says maybe it feels like that since the devildom doesn't progress. Lucifer tells MC to get ready to leave once they're done eating (still on the white couches is2g this pisses me off so much) and when MC asks him wtf he says oh yeah forgot you nearly died while Solomon told you about getting a sorcerer's license. MC's got a meeting with Solomon and Beel & Lucifer were asked to come along. Mammon & Asmo protest cause they can't tag along. Belphie says that Beel and Lucifer were probably chosen cause they'll at least appear as mature functioning adults.

They meet up with Solomon in front of the Sorcerer's Society HQ, which according to Solomon is filled with "Pompous Uptight Bureaucrats". It provides assistance to sorcerer's living in the human world and provides them with first a provisional license and then a full license that'll allow them to practice magic as they pls more or less. Lucifer's like; that's great and all but why the fuck are we here. And Solomon tells him that he'll understand when they get inside. Lucifer says that sounds exactly like something someone who was seconds away from causing problems would say and he tells MC to brace themself.

The backgrounds for both these lessons are really good! Right so when they walk in sorcerers start ooing and awing over Beel and Lucifer - they've never seen them irl before, one even wants their autographs. Apparently Solomon's apprentice taming the 7 rulers was believed to be an urban legend?????????? I dunno imagine going from being a normal human to becoming an urban legend amongst sorcerers? Lucifer thinks Solomon brought them along just to boost MC's reputation (ohhh the poor man). Solomon reveals that he isn't on good terms with the society (is it even a surprise?) and being his apprentice would just make things harder for MC and that he established the society with his previous apprentice long ago but they had a falling out and now that apprentice runs the society (is it sad that there's a huge possibility that the falling out could be food related?). Solomon says he brought the brothers as bodyguards for his cute apprentice/charming apprentice/favourite pupil (If he keeps talking like that whoever runs this place is gonna deck MC) since back in the Celestial Realm the two of the were known as "the two greatest champions and protectors of the CR". Beel gets pissed off cause he thinks this means Solomon is putting MC in danger and Solomon says 'lol that's definitely not who I'm putting in danger' and when Lucifer picks up on that and questions Solomon on it he goes 'man look at the time we really gotta go get MC registered WOW'. The dude at the reception uses his staff to etch a magic seal that's the society's crest on to the back of MC's hand (I really feel like you should tell someone beforehand that you're gonna give them what is basically a tattoo? Also cant wait for that butcher to see this and the rest of MC's harem and come to the conclusion that they're in a cult) which consists of 3 staves and 7 stars signifying the 3 Magis who are believed to have invented magical arts and the 7 virtues (is it bad that before i even started om i knew what the 7 sins were but only had a vague knowledge about the 7 virtues? I wouldn't have been able to name them all without this lesson :/ anyway they're humility, generosity, gratitude, patience, chastity, temperance and diligence. Something i really like is that the brothers have all displayed the virtues that directly oppose their sins on a semi regular to regular basis). To get their license apprentuces must earn the seven stars via passing 7 trials with the first of the trials being set and judged by their master. (ok so I assumed each test would focus on a brother and MC'd earn the star that opposes each brother's sin and would pass the test by learning and displaying the virtue of that star. But that isn't what happened here? If anything the test was there to teach Lucifer humility? Is that how it will go? will each test somehow focus on MC helping the brothers learn and display their opposing virtue even though all of them have already displayed this virtue to some extent? I mean I guess the main point of the tests were to show that MC could control the brothers so that makes sense? but even though this test did focus on making Lucifer let go of his pride, the test was about MC learning to control Beel's power and these two lessons are very much focused on Beel so was the star they earned actually temperance? Even though the test didn't have anything to do with that virtue? Ahh i have so many questions about how the stars are earned and neither lesson really clarify it and if anyone wants to come debate about this???)

ANYway Solomon uses a spell to bind Lucifer in place, which pisses Beel off, tho when MC stays calm and just observes what happens Solomon is pleased assessing a situation before taking action is important (Ive had this HC for a while now but solomon is definitely the kinda teacher who throws you into the deep end with just a cryptic warning and watches with a smile as you try to figure out how to not die, if you do something particularly amusing while struggling he'll give you another cryptic hint, occasionally he'll yell out praise with that smile of his even if it looks like you're actively drowning and dying and failing). They start to get an audience while Lucifer threatens Solomon and shifts into his demon form and goes also im still fucking pissed off about that lunch so/ Beel also shifts and threatens Solomon, tho lucifer tells him to stand down cause he wants to murder solomon on his own and that a mere binding spell won't hold him down, Solomon's like Jeez chill it's for MC's exam you fucknugget and Lucifer's like oh shit yeah but you know i'll actually kill you for this later and Solomon's like yeah that's cool and also imma use my powers to make you into the size of a barbie doll and lucifer's like what- MC then proceeds to lose their shit over a tiny blushing Lucifer. MC's test is to keep lucifer safe for 24 hours which would be fine if they you know didn't live with the other 5. which is actually what lucifer says when Beel says it'll be easy if they just stay at home cause home according to lucifer also contains his '5 greatest enemies'. MC's job is to protect Lucifer from them without using any commands on anyone other than beel, and the goal is for them to be able to fully command beel like they did with Asmo in S1 against Henry 1.0. Beel is not allowed to act on his own to protect lucifer and can only act on MC's commands. Beel agrees, Lucifer swears and Solomon asks MC about their confidence levels. MC can promise one of the three of them that they won't mess up. Solomon says he'll stay in the house with them so that he can judge and Lucifer's more or less like; you're having fun aren't you and solomon says Duh.

So they end up at the café where predictably Luke & Simeon end up screaming and laughing at a blushing pissed off mini Luci, Simeon tells him they physically cannot laugh cause of course big scary Lucifer is now in Simeon’s words ‘Teeny-Tiny” & how he’s so cute he wants to keep him in a jar as a pet (God I love this lesson). He says Michael would love to see this and when Lucifer yells at him he completely ignores him to poke his cheek (V Relatable). Luke also wants to join in on the fun but Lucifer is a little bitch to him and as retaliation for scaring their son MC pokes luci on the cheek too. Beel laments about wanting to poke luci on the cheek too and when Solomon tells the others to stop teasing lucifer, luci goes, EXCUSE ME WHOSE FUCKING FAULT IS THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE. Beel notes that luci now smells human. When luke asks about the smelling thing beel says that all 3 species? races? Smell different. Simeon marvels at how much humiliation PrideTM is willing to take cause he’s simping for MC. Luci tells them to shut tf up cause unless they come up with a plan to deal with his hell children they’re probably going to kill him the second he steps foot inside the house. Beel tells MC to use his powers. Luci says they should be able to draw out Beel’s powers like they did Asmo’s in S1. Solomon says since he gave them a power up in S1 simply saying the incantation won’t work this time around and they must first fully understand Beel and his nature to be able to do that. MC has a flashback to the Butcher and his relationship advice and then asks Beel what he thinks they should do to be able to better understand him (while I do think ideally this is the right choice, in context with the other two choices, to me, this is the ONLY choice cause the other two come off as slightly yandere on mc’s part). Beel chooses spending time together via sleepover. But obviously Luci will have to come along and Solomon invites himself along too cause he’s still the judge. Simeon’s sad about not being able to join in and luke is TOTALLY NOT JEALOUS OKAY!?!?

Outside the house Luci, Beel and MC all make pledges like they’re invading enemy territory; Lucifer: Swear you won’t let your guard down. Beel: Swear to protect Lucifer with your life. MC, 100% seriously: I Swear. Solomon: Are yall fucking serious??? These are your fucking brothers???? You practically raised them??? Lucifer: Have you ever actually met my brothers???? Beel: You legit think they won’t give up their lives just to fuck with lucifer for a day? When Solomon asks what lucifer ever did to make them hate him so much he says he doesn’t know. And look while “locking me up in the fucking attic for a whole year”, “not acknowledging that you’re actually my father and taking some fucking responsibility” and “blaming every minor inconvenience in your life on my very existence” are all very valid reasons none of them actually hate him right, cause I mean using every chance you get to fuck with your siblings is just part of being a sibling? Which is what Beel and MC both tell Lucifer. Lucifer doesn’t believe them and actually seems sad about it. Solomon said “while I do find the complicated interpersonal dynamics of your family fascinating” my ass is freezing out here. …Do you think they’re like solomon’s favourite show??? I mean Solomon’s old as shit and probably doesn’t remember what it’s like to have a family, and before MC, Simeon and the student exchange he didn’t really have anybody so do you think he just watches the brothers + MC like ‘damn, this shit is wild’????????????????? The instant they enter the house, someone casts a spell and they’re pulled into a portal. The fuck did you say about everyone loving Lucifer, says Solomon while making direct eye contact with Beel. They fall through endless darkness and MC tells them to chill cause it only feels like they’re falling. They end up in a weird ballroom/royal courtroom kinda place, which Solomon marvels. Beel & MC recognize the place as a location from one of levi’s games and meet Levi in his TSL clothes who welcomes MC as the ‘hero’.

Beel, Luci & Sol kinda just wordlessly stare at levi with tired expressions and MC being the bro they are plays along with levi by asking if he is who they think he is. He introduces himself as The Lord of Shadows, the ruler of all 7 lands. Lucifer: WTF. Beel says they don’t have time for games and Levi gets upset that they’re making him look pathetic. Levi gives MC their mission – to save the world by defeating the demon lord satan. Lucifer tells Solomon to get the fuck out of there. Solomon says he can’t considering he has no idea where the fuck they are in the first place. Beel politely asks ‘his majesty’ the way to pantry and Levi yells at them to take it seriously. Beel says well ok and explains the whole test thing to levi as a way to explain why they can’t play. Levi says satan already knows this. After that there’s a flash and black smoke starts curling up around the room and satan turns up in his demon form. And LOOK I hate satan’s demon form outfit but it actually looks really good in this context??? The feather boa and ribbon bow thing really works with the curling black smoke, evil demon lord look. It probably helps that you can’t see his bottom half. Anyway Satan turns out to just be a magical projection and he says, well you’ll have to come to me cause I kidnapped your boyfriend, while Diavolo calls out to Lucifer and MC from off screen. Diavolo had run away from the devildom to surprise the brothers. While Lucifer scolds Diavolo and while Diavolo apologizes, Satan tells they must all come to him along with the “obnoxious talking doll”. Lucifer: the fuck did you just say. Ok this part is really cute; Satan: “I’ll be seeing you MC.” Diavolo, still off screen: Can’t wait to see you MC! Luicfer has a migraine. When Beel tries to say they should head off, Levi tells them they forgot something in RPGs. MC, still dutifully in character, asks the lord of shadows to give them aid. Levi gives them 100 grimm and just anekfnsndfjn the fuck can they do with just 100 grimm. Which is what both Beel and Luci say. Solomon says, well maybe they’re just fucking poor around here so everything here is cheap. Levi gives them a talisman to protect themselves with, Lucifer says cool, but once this is over I’m gonna beat your ass :) Levi says he just bought a new game that lets you create your own story and he just wanted to play it with them :(

So they end up in a cute lil’ game village & beel wants to go to a tavern but lucifer says they need to buy equipment first. If MC asks a NPC they just repeat the same line about how great life is under levi’s rule over and over again, if they search in the grass they find some medicinal herbs but beel immediately eats them, if they break a barrel Solomon starts breaking open barrels too and they get yelled at by lucifer. They end up in No. 2’s armoury. Lucifer’s fed up with life. Solomon says the gear looks like shit and Beel says it makes sense since this is only the first town. When Beel tries to ask 2 for food he repeats his introductory dialogue over and over again. With the money they have they’re able to buy gear for Solomon and MC and the only thing that fits Lucifer is the fairy outfit,,,, I’m NOT fucking wearing that says lucifer off screen and God I love this lesson. Solomon and MC are both little shits and can you just imagine them trying to convince lucifer to wear it just to test it out? Fucking amazing. MC tries to haggle/talk with 2 so they could get armour for beel but he says buddy I’m running a business here BUT there’s a monster in the casino that cheats ppl of their mone– Lucifer & Beel simultaneously: Oh, Mammon. So basically, if they can get 2’s money back he’ll offer them a huge discount on the lord of flies armour. They decide to find an inn for the night before they face Mammon.

Lucifer finds it hard to eat food. Solomon: Cause you’re tiny ^.^ Beel: Wonder whose fault that is :I MC can either offer to cut it for him (He thanks MC and tells them to feed him too. Entitled Fuck. Solomon & Beel also want to be fed but Lucifer tells them to fuck off) or tell him to just open wide and take a bite (Lucifer says if he gets too close to the food Beel would probably accidentally eat him). Beel says the food is a lot like devildom food and MC asks him if he likes devildom food or human food, Beel says all food is good. Since they don’t have much money MC & beel and Solomon & Lucifer end up sharing beds with Lucifer telling Solomon to use a spell to keep himself still during the night to avoid accidentally killing lucifer in his sleep. There isn’t a spell for that. At night, Beel asks lucifer if he thinks Satan still hates him and gets “…” in response. Assuming Lucifer is asleep he asks MC what they think. MC says they think Satan just can’t admit that he likes Lucifer. Beel says if that’s what they think then it’s okay cause he just wants Satan to love lucifer like the rest of them do. MC asks Beel if he’s worried about lucifer (Beel says Lucifer wouldn’t want him to worry but… and that he wants to be there when lucifer needs help) or says that Beel really loves Lucifer (Beel happily agrees that he does). Beel then tells MC about how he and Lucifer first met: So back when Beel was an angel, according to him the only thing good about him was that he was strong so he decided to become a soldier except he couldn’t control his strength and always ended up breaking things which led to Raphael always saying something sarcastic to him. The whole thing was depressing for him until one day lucifer came over, sat beside him and talked with him. Lucifer was always really busy and spent most of his days deep inside the palace (places where Beel has never even been to before). He told beel that a soldier was not about attacking but instead about protecting, that protecting was what was most important. He’d told beel that he was special cause he had the power to protect everyone and keep them safe (this shit is the sweetest and it has me sobbing but also that must have hit like a bullet when Lilith died…). Lucifer had told Beel if he learnt to control his powers then Lucifer would recommend him as a Cherubim, gatekeeper. Lucifer had given Beel confidence and his post as a gatekeeper. Which is why Beel wants to protect him, cause he loves and respects Lucifer. He says all his brothers love Lucifer cause if they didn’t they never would have considered leaving the celestial realm. He says that even though Satan’s situation is different he isn’t the same as he was before MC came around and that Beel likes the new satan better. And that he actually likes all his brothers more since MC came around, which is why he likes MC so much too. MC gets to either kiss, hug or thank him. Beel says his powers are there so that he can protect both Lucifer and MC. And FUCK I love this backstory so much????? And I desperately need all the other backstories?

#obey me spoilers #my posts #my theories #obey me #obey me shall we date #swd obey me #shall we date? obey me!#obey me!

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onceuponaloonatic · 3 years

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i meant for this to be a little more so i’m sorry but this is the best i can do with my courseload rn it’s a namo drabble in the new misahyo au i hope you enjoy !! 🥺🥺

tw: ptsd, learning disabilities, panic attacks, etc...

Nayeon really wouldn’t say they planned to have Kazumi when they did. It may sound strange, since they obviously had worked very hard to have Kazumi, as they had to go through all the work of finding a doctor and doing the procedure over and over again. But despite all the work that went into having her, Kazumi Hirai-Im was not planned.

A part of her regretted adopting the twins right before they had Kazumi. It wasn’t that she regretted having any of them, and she wouldn’t trade a single one of them for the world, the timing was just not ideal.

They found the twins through a co-worker of Momo’s. Momo’s coworker’s husband was a social worker, and she was complaining about the twins when he first brought them to her home. She said she was used to him bringing random children home occasionally, but that these two were especially problematic. She talked about how she couldn’t sleep because the girl kept having nightmares and that the boy would always steal food when he thought she wasn’t looking. And apparently, the two were not getting along with her co-worker’s children. Taking the twins in as a favor for Momo’s co-worker was supposed to be a short term thing. It was just a crazy idea Momo had had after a long day at work. She had seen how stressed her coworker was, and ever the people pleaser she had just offered without thinking much. She didn’t even ask Nayeon until after she offered. (In Momo’s defense, Nayeon was teaching a class at the time so it’s not like she could have answered that second, but Nayeon still held it against her.) Nayeon didn’t take much convincing though, once she laid eyes on the twins, she fell in love. Nayeon loved kids, and seeing those two young children completely melted all of her inhibitions.

They had some issues with the twins at first. Haneul did in fact have pretty violent nightmares, plus getting her to open up was nearly impossible. Jae opened up easier, but he did have some quirks. He stole food and hid it under his bed frequently. One day, Momo found it under his bed when she was trying to clean, and when she tried to address it with him he had a meltdown. Haneul had run over when she heard her brother crying, and tried to be protective over him, physically putting herself between Momo and her brother, glaring at Momo the best she could at her young age . Momo had reassured them both it was okay and she wasn’t mad, and that if they needed more food, they would gladly give it to them. It just needed to be kept in a better place, in case there were ants. That explanation seemed to calm them both down, but it was a testament to how they both still didn’t trust them.

A few days of taking care of the twins quickly turned to a few weeks, and that was when Momo and Nayeon knew they wanted to keep them forever. Sure they were difficult, but they were also sweet. They had been hurt, and they needed patience and care that the foster system couldn’t provide for them. It wasn’t much later Nayeon found out she was pregnant with Kazumi.

It was right about when they had talked to the twins about the idea of them staying with them forever. They were both so young, forever was a difficult concept to grasp. But they had agreed that they were nice. Jae said they had good food and Haneul said she “liked their puppy.” They were in the process of officially adopting the two of them and not just fostering them when they found out. Nayeon had only gotten the procedure once after the twins came into their lives. She had only done it since they had already paid for the session, and she was convinced it wasn’t going to work. But it had. And now they were in a difficult situation.

Of course they were happy they were having a baby, but it would make things complicated with the twins. They both knew it would, they knew the twins would feel like they were being replaced and that they didn’t want them, which was so untrue. Nayeon and Momo both wanted both the twins and the new baby so so much.

When they eventually did tell them, they reacted how they expected. They had tried to phrase it to them like a proposition for them to be a big brother and big sister, and tried to reassure them they still wanted them, but it didn’t work. It ended with a poorly planned attempt to run away by Haneul that ended with her falling down the last two by their front door and breaking her arm. Jae, despite being on board with the run away plan, was so freaked out by Haneul’s crying he instantly ran to them crying. Of course they were mad, but they were more worried about the twins. They took Haneul to the emergency room and Momo stayed with her, holding her tight in her arms as she got a cast for the first time while Nayeon held Jae, who still hadn’t calmed down either.

After Haneul had a purple cast put on her wrist and they had all gotten some sleep, they talked about it with them. They told them they were worried and that they didn’t want them doing that again. They also talked to them again about how even if they were going to have a baby, they still wanted both of them. It was the first night they told the twins they loved them.

After that they were still a little skittish about baby things, but they seemed to open up to them a lot more. Especially Haneul. She seemed a lot more comfortable with them after that incident. Her nightmares even started to slow down a bit.

When the two met Kazumi for the first time, they both kind of fell in love with her. They both giggled about how small she was and how silly she looked. They loved calling her Zumi and helping out with them as much as they could. They were just about as helpful as young children could be, but Nayeon and Momo both thought it was so cute. It was a nice change, and they could see they were both kind of coming around and accepting Kazumi as their little sister.

That time right after Kazumi was born was hard. Between waking up for Kazumi and for the twins' nightmares, they barely got any sleep. And trying to keep up with the twins' newfound energy now that they were more comfortable with them and Kazumi was hard. But they managed, even if sometimes it seemed like they wouldn’t. They even enjoyed it. They loved their family so much. Even if Kazumi’s timing wasn’t great they were happy to have her, and it seemed the twins felt the same.

Things never really got easier. They just, changed as the kids got older. Hanuel’s nightmares got better, but she started showing clearer signs of PTSD and anxiety. Jae was having trouble keeping up in school and was struggling with some of the same PTSD as Haneul. Kazumi had issues with seperation anxiety. It started when she was a baby, but it got worse when she started school. It wasn’t just towards Nayeon and Momo either. She directed it towards both her brother and her sister as well. The first night Jae had a sleepover, Kazumi had insisted on saying up until he got back. Of course, she ended up falling asleep in Momo and Nayeon’s bed, but she had pushed herself to stay up later than usual. Haneul didn’t like being separated from their family too much either, so they guessed it had rubbed off on Kazumi too. Haneul specifically hated being separated from Jae. They had been together forever, she absolutely hated being separated from him. That first night he had a sleepover and after Kazumi fell asleep, Haneul had a meltdown in their kitchen. It took almost an hour of gently holding her and telling her Jae was fine for her to calm down. Once she was calm, she fell asleep, but getting her there had been difficult. Jae always seemed the most okay with separation. He was a little more trusting than Haneul, and he wasn’t as attached to people as Kazumi. He still had issues, specifically in school and with anger, but he was better than his sisters in the making friends department.

Once all the kids were in elementary school, Momo went back to work full time and things did feel a little smoother. Not easier, just smoother. They both had a pretty good idea of what they were doing and even if there were times they felt overwhelmed, it felt easier to deal with. Over time, things just got more and more polished to the point they were like a well oiled machine. Of course there were times things hit a snag.

The first major snag they hit was learning to manage Jae’s dyslexia. He had been diagnosed in first grade, but at first his teachers had said he had a mild case and would be fine with little intervention. But by third grade he started hating school, refusing to go no matter what Nayeon and Momo promised. After some probing they found out he was just struggling a lot in school at the time, and they took him to a specialist that helped lay out a learning plan that could work with him. They had always known Jae was really smart, but once he started getting the care he needed his life improved a lot. He was angry less often and he started to like school more and more.

The next came with Haneul. While she had never struggled in school, making friends was never something she was good at. She was shy, and didn’t really seem to get along with her classmates very well when they tried to force her to open up. She got along with her brother and sister, and she got along with Emi, Jeongho, and Hansol pretty well, but she really struggled getting along with anyone else. They thought she would be fine with that, but when Jae started to make his own friends and have his own life things changed. She seemed more withdrawn and she even started taking it out on Momo and Nayeon. It felt like all the progress they had made towards their relationship was cast aside as Hanuel lashed out at them for weeks. It took a couple group therapy sessions with both of them and Haneul for them to figure it out, but once they did everything became really clear. Haneul ended up having to work with another therapist for a while, one who specialized in social skills, but it ended up working out for her. She was only able to make a few friends, but it did wonders to improve her mood and overall happiness.

Kazumi was always the easy kid. Sure, she was the youngest and so she was more needy at times than her older siblings but overall she didn’t really require as much from her parents as her siblings. She always got okay grades and her social skills were arguably the best in the family. The only issue they ran into with Kazumi was her separation issues, but other than that she really was an easy kid. She even helped her parents out with her siblings, becoming pretty in tune with both of them emotionally from a young age and understanding them even better than their parents sometimes. As they got older, the kids mellowed out. By the age of fourteen, Jae didn’t even go to therapy anymore. Of course, they still recommended they keep an eye on him, but he was in a good place emotionally and was happy in his life. Haneul wasn’t quite ready for that yet, so much to her own chagrin she stayed in it.

“I don’t understand why Jae’s allowed to stop and I’m not.” Haneul was the only one in the car with Momo. She was usually the one to take Haneul to her therapy appointments as Nayeon usually had a class around that time, so she had gotten used to it over the years. When she was little Momo had a little tradition of taking her to get ice cream after each appointment. “We’ve talked about this kiddo, it’s just until both your therapist and you feel comfortable stopping.” Momo informed, turning the car on. She had gotten used to waiting for appointments like this. Nayeon usually had work, so she was the one who usually took care of little appointments like this.

“I feel comfortable.” Haneul pouted. “Your therapist doesn’t think it’s a great idea sweetie.” Momo sighed. “I know you are frustrated, but really, it’s okay. Being in therapy is okay. You are doing well, and we are so proud of you.” “Fine.” Haneul pouted.

“Ha-chan I can tell you are frustrated but this is what’s best for you.” Momo sighed. “Cheer up. You can get toppings on your ice cream if you want?” “Can I get M&Ms?” Haneul asked. “Yeah, whatever you want. Just don’t tell your brother and sister.” Momo rubbed one of Haneul’s arms. “Fine.” Haneul sighed again uncurling herself from the ball she had curled up in. Momo couldn’t help but smile. Haneul had grown up so fast. She remembers when she first came to stay with them. She was so tiny back then, so frail and so fragile. She used to cry when anyone would raise their voice at her. She used to get upset by loud noises. When things fell or when the tv made a loud noise, she would always freak out. She was so much better now. And she had put in so much work for them to get this far, and Momo was just so incredibly proud of her for getting this far.

“Hey mama?” “Hm?” Momo hummed as she began driving. “Why-why did you and Mom decide to take Jae and I in?” Haneul asked, her eyes nervously darting around. “I mean- you never really told us why. And Zumi and I were talking about this the other day and I realized I couldn’t really answer the question. I know you guys were still going through the whole science procedure thing, that's why Zumi was born, but why did you decide to take us in while you are doing that?” Haneul asked. “Well… I guess you are old enough to talk about it.” Momo nodded. “Well… you know my coworker Miss Kim? Her husband is your social worker.” “Yeah- I guess I remember her.” Haneul shrugged. “Yeah, anyway she was the first to take you two in. But it wasn’t really working out. You weren’t getting along with her kids, so she asked me to take you two in for a few days. I didn’t even ask your mom before I said yes. I knew she was struggling and I just- you guys just needed a place to stay. When I told your mom she was a bit mad, but she agreed. Once we had you two, it just-it felt right. We loved having you two- we loved you two.” Momo explained. “Kazumi did have interesting timing, but it worked itself out in the end. We love all three of you and really wanted to have all of you.”

“So you just- you just decided you wanted to keep us?” “It less of we decided it- we just, it felt right. We couldn’t imagine letting the two of you go, even when we found out about Zumi.” Momo explained. “Well… Thank you.” “Of course kiddo.” Momo giggled. “We love you so much Ha-chan, you and your siblings.” “Yeah yeah.” Haneul giggled. “I know and...” “And?” “And I love you too.” Momo smiled at Haneul. She really meant it. She loved them more than anything in the entire world.

#twice #namo #im nayeon #hirai momo #kazumi #haneul #jae

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