#im just gonna think of that one persons fic as canon from now on to spare my emotions | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sadisthetic · 1 year

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alarmingly long hanahaki au jaya. i hurt jay quite a bit in this. this is a product of 4 straight days of insanity. im SO ILL. ABOUT JAYA. IF YOU MAKE IT TO THE END OF THIS. I COMMEND YOU. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME IN ADVANCE.

once again adapted from a twitter thread. its. like 165 tweets long. yeah. yeah. im lazy so its gonna be mostly copy pasted and lightly edited so if it sounds like im talking to myself I WAS. AND I WAS DOING IT FOR FOUR DAYS.

anyways heres the start.

so hanahaki.... jaya.... season 3...... jay is absolutely the guy who gets hanahaki theres absolutely no doubt about that like absolutely none. but the world building tho... how should i handle it.... i want it to be canon compliantish. and more importantly. when should i give him symptoms. what would be most interesting

sure. i could give him hanahaki after he find out about nyas perfect match. but haha

what if he get petals earlier tho.

he doesnt understand why at first, why jay starts coughing up petals, he and nya are dating and in love. there shouldnt be any reason for it. its not bad yet so he just ignores it really hard or thinks he mustve gotten a weird strain because theres now way he has normal hanahaki because theres No Way! haha

so when he hears the truth there in his parents trailer, the roots around his lungs constrict and he cant tell the pain apart from his heart breaking in two. his chest hurts so much and he sees cole and just goes ballistic

just imagine. what thats like for him. hes mad but its a secondary response to the heartbreak. hes had signs literally inside all along but to actually find out? like this? jay cant take it

haha. the double date would suck so much HAHA. he holds it in through the whole duration of the movie but when its over he vomits full flowers in the bathroom

ive been mulling over the worldbuilding of hanahaki in this au of mine. i thinking i want it to be a departure from the standard hanahaki worldbuilding thats in fics. just slightly. mostly regarding the fatality and maybe treatments........ i think i want jay to have hanahaki the whole time until skybound. and so i think im gonna have to make hanahaki nonlethal. but kinda like chronic pain. if you cant let go of that love

im partially adopting another fics worldbuilding but i like the idea you can recover on your own if you simply fall out of love. its easier and less damaging the earlier you give up on the love. the roots atrophy and fade and theres not that much scarring. you can easily recover

but you know...... its jay. hes not gonna let it go. he cant. he loves nya.... i think he hides his affliction tho... because he knows nya doesnt want to get back together. and he doesnt want to look you know.... pathetic? desperate? overly clingy?

“you still hasnt gotten over nya?” “dude come on.” “give it up.” he doesnt want to hear it from the others. because he doesnt want to.

but also he wants to save face in front of nya. hes scared itll drive her even further away. his heart cant take more of that. this distance hurts enough

so for months.............. he suffers the pain of one sided love. quietly. pretending that nothing is wrong and that jay is okay with them just being friends. of course jay could choose to surgically remove the hanahaki.... but he doesnt want to do that

i think im gonna keep a bit of the amnesia worldbuilding standard fics have. but im not gonna have it so that artificially removing the hanahaki makes you forget the person you love. no.... just the love that you felt. i think jay doesnt want to lose his love for nya..... also not being able to fall in love with nya scares him. hes just that fucking attached to her. he has it bad man. dude has attachment issues. hes so clingy.

anyways. jay chooses to suffer. because hes that badly in love

jay self medicates on over the counter cough suppressants thats meant for the cold and more normal sickness. works surprisingly well. not ideal tho. he also fills his pockets with cough drops and sometimes makes himself sick when he accidentally eats too much on bad days

he gets sick of them. the sweet icky taste and menthol nausea but he doesnt have that many better ways to deal. its just a temporary fix too. considering that coughing is his body's natural way to get rid of the petals. and hes just letting them sit in his lungs

periodically he has to stay hunched over a trashcan to clear out the petals and yes its an awful experience every time. it becomes routine. the petals scratch his throat on the way out and he gets into tea to soothe the irritation. he becomes a regular at mistake's

in general, his ability to breathe starts to decline and he gets winded so much more easily. the plants in his chest limit his airflow and also steals the oxygen from his lungs. his chest is tight always and aches like theres thick needles lodged in his chest. those are the roots

usually its manageable. but it becomes harder to fight. battles usually end up leaving him wheezing. one of the guys teases him about it. that hes slacking and getting out of shape. he sidesteps that convo tho and brushes them off. he certainly cant be honest

im a sadist so im gonna making him pass out after one fairly vigorous battle. one which he has to push himself harder to make it out alive. so hard that his lungs cant keep up with the rest of his body and even when he gets himself to a safe corner or clearing, no amount of breaths is enough and he just blacks out. he eventually comes to a worried face shaking him awake. ill figure out who and when this is set later. either way they just assume jay got knocked out even though they cant find any wounds. theyre relieved he seems fine

but that was very bad. super duper bad for jay tho. he cant let that happen again. but these kinds of things are out of his control tho. but he just has to deal.

things comes to a head in skybound. i think itll be most dramatic if nya finds out in the lighthouse. after she rescues them and they successfully flee. when they settle and in moment jay cant hide he coughs out a gross mass of petals

and nya has a slow step by step realization of the implications. but before all that happens tho. nadakhan. i dont think he knew jay had hanahaki when he first targeted him. maybe. this point might change

but as it is, for the thought i have, nadakhan learns when jays meds wears off, and hes not even able to pop in a cough drop his mouth. and he vomits a messy slurry of petals onto the wooden floorboards of the deck. its EXTREMELY FUNNY to nadakhan, he mocks jay for it! he has hanahaki! that is so tragic! to think jay has known his love was utterly unrequited and yet he tried so hard to win her back. but it was all a hopeless, desperate, pathetic endeavor. so nya truly doesnt love jay, hm? so shes single and free for the taking. no hard feelings, then, when they marry

up on the ship, he coughs up so many flowers. he doesnt get enough sleep from the persistent coughing. and passes out multiple times, for a collection of reasons. from being knocked out, exhaustion, apnea, running out of breath after several matches of scrap n tap

i think it would be really sad and pathetic if there one incident where he chokes on a flower. and he cant cough it out and he thinks gonna die for reals. a pirate helps him out only to add insult to injury (and to torment him more to pull a wish out of him, hes better off alive than dead)

when hes rescued by his friends, theres no flowers around so none of his friends suspect. jay manages to keep the petals in his mouth, catching them behind his teeth, and swallows them back in. he coughs pretty bad but they all think he just got really sick. he looks awful after all

but thats of course only up until the lighthouse. ive been contemplating about how nya handles it all...... how she feels......... what is the most satisfying route here is much more trickier to figure out than just a fixit skybound au.......

feelings are trickier and much more loaded........ the revelation certainly isnt going to be an easy thing for nya to swallow..... but lighthouse talk has so much potential....... jay might be honest for once..... because he has to be.... forced to be!

ngl lighthouse part of skybound has been super elevated in my head by favorite skybound fic so my perceptions of it and my own take on it for this au is probably going to be influenced by that. not in the sense im copying scenes but in the sense of like. oh yeah writer IS right, lighthouse ep TOTALLY has the massive potential for big feels and honesty. and revealing trauma/hurt feels. anyways. let me talk a bit about nya and the little dilemma i have.....

so like...... nyas part in the story is so tricky to handle.... because she entirely determines the ending of this story. much more so than in the original canon.....

because the crux of this story is the love between nya and jay... the lack of thereof from nya and the undying love from jay. hanahaki. unrequited love. the story is not just about jay making mistakes and being flawed as a person and being tested as a person and learning and growing his mistakes

in this au, the focus is specifically on his love for nya and how hes willing to hang onto it for so long despite how much it literally hurts him. love hurts. its barely even worth it. but to jay it is. this story is driven by his love. however how it ends all depends on nya.....

and heres the thing.... i know the way the "romance" in skybound was resolved was..... whats the word..... forced? it was insufficiently developed.... i cant recall the exact word i wanna use but it was just. tacked on. nyas change of heart kinda came out of nowhere....

nyas line in the lighthouse before she pushed jay through the portal is honestly inconsistent with her characterization that season up to the point. shes really didnt seem like she loved jay back at all. its entirely because the writers didnt write in those feelings

it takes a bit of creative thinking and interpretation to make jays and nyas get together at the end of the season work. you have to fill in the gaps of the romance yourself if you want it and want it to make sense and have it be satisfying

what i do for my fix it interpretation of canon is that nya didnt actually stop loving jay entirely in s3 breakup arc. instead i choose to think is that nyas desire for independence simply grew stronger enough to eclipse her love for jay

also i like to think nya liked jay more casually than he loves her so it was easier to break off their relationship. if youve seen my dream divorce ot3 slowburn get together break up get together fic (concept) (that only exactly two people know what im talking about). and also string of fate au. ESPECIALLY IN STRING OF FATE AU. then you know. my take on them. ANYWAYS.

the problem i have for this au is that i cant do that. i cant use that same interpretation to have them get together again. it doesnt work. because in this au.........nya really did fall out of love for jay. and having them get together again just like canon isnt.......satisfying

its tricky..... because to make nya fall in love with jay now after she learns he has hanahaki..... if im not careful ill be doing the same thing that the writers are doing. writing a careless romance solely because i want them to be together

and i DO want them to be together again.... but it requires a considerate approach if i really do want it. here..... the situation is this..... nya finds out jays has truly been in love with her for months STILL. and its bad enough he got hanahaki. i think she might feel uncomfortable about that. its unwanted love you know? being the object of someones desires still after you long broke up with them. she has moved on but jay hasnt? its super awkward for her...... but also...............

jay knows that. nya isnt stupid. she realizes that jay knows that and thats exactly why he kept it from her in the first place....... shes also uncomfortable because... jay is suffering because of her. she broke it off with him but its not like she doesnt care about jay

no she still does. jay is still someone important to her. hes not just some ex. hes still a friend.... and her heart aches seeing jay suffer. her heart twists realizing that jay has been suffering this whole time on his own and she had no idea.

and it was out of consideration for her. its not entirely her fault jay has hanahaki..... but also she does feel a little bit responsible. sure jay messed up a lot recently and all of it is because he wanted to get back together with her and she doesnt like that.... but also..

learning about it put some things into perspective for her. like shes uncomfortable but jay has been hurt and is genuinely hurting still and she doesnt want to hurt him more and she wants to be gentle. so she starts thinking first. before she proceeds to deal with feelings

and so she starts really thinking about it. she was mad. she was mad jay kept so many secrets from them and endangered them all. and that he was STILL attached to her after all this time. shes still a little mad about that but also its subsiding a bit now....

if she really thinks about it.... jay had been respecting their break and her boundaries up until recently. in fact she only found out now, months later. jay actually did do a pretty good job of hiding those feelings. and not only that... his hanahaki.

that. she doesnt fucking understand how jay kept that a secret. ITS HANAHAKI. HOW DID HE HIDE IT FROM EVERYONE. ITS THE MOST VISIBLE DISEASE. maybe she did notice jay smothering a cough or clearing his throat every so often but to think it was hanahaki this entire time......

....when did it start even...? she can only assume that it was around their breakup. they eventually have a talk. a really important one that jay cant run away from. it takes a bit for jay to be fully honest and tell her that he started spitting petals when they were still together

she becomes mortified by that fact. and what that means. and she gains a bit of perspective of how the perfect match debacle looked from jays perspective. she really was.... a terrible girlfriend during all that huh.... to nya it felt like a clean break..... but to jay.... it left him pretty raw.

it didnt hit nya until know how much jay was hurt by the breakup even without considering the hanahaki. jay still loves her despite her cheating on him and making him fight over her because she couldnt decide? it seems that jay doesnt even care about that. doesnt even think she was a terrible girlfriend at the end of their relationship when she very much was. something is deeply wrong with jay (he loves her too much). jay hadnt been the best...... he had been really selfish and self centered. esp with the whole wish thing

but she comes to a realization that she was being really self centered too. its unfair for her to criticize jay for that when the very beginning of it all was because of nyas own selfishness. its unfair for jay to break up over something so stupid like a match making machine

of course part of it was still on jay. he should have still let go. you cant have a relationship in which only one person is in love. but.... she couldve gone about it in a better way. a way that wouldnt have hurt jay so much at the very least

he has apologized for everything involving nadakhan and keeping secrets.... maybe taking on more blame than he should.... nya owes jay an apology too. so at the very least she gives him a proper one. for her own faults

but she doesnt know how to fix jays hanahaki tho...... and to be honest? neither does jay. he tells her this. despite everything he didnt want to force her to love him. he didnt want to guilt her back into a relationship. he didnt want her to give him her pity also

thats part of the reason why he kept it a secret. he wanted to *win* her back. make himself more appealing so that nya would love him again. jay was super misguided in his approach and didnt understand why exactly nya broke up with him in the first place

but thats what he wanted... nyas genuine love. (im ignoring a tiny chip of canon for this. or im considering it a moment of weakness (jays dismay when he learns he cant wish for love). creative interpretation is that seeing his future in the mirror made him too hopeful and a bit desperate) anyways. jay is a hopeless romantic. who is extremely lovelorn. also hes chronically ill like literally. cut him a little slack

anyways anyways. i dont want nya to just get back together with him right after finding out about his hanahaki. its bad romance. it wont taste good. it wont be genuine.........

as it is...... of course theres multiple options................ but they arent all happy. and i do feel like. a story like this does need a happy ending..... it would be too sad if it remains unresolved. im just gonna talk about the ends that kinda suck first

most unsatisfying but technically still very plausible end: a standstill. nya cant do anything to help. she wants to but she cant return jays love. jay understands but decides keep living with the hanahaki. the two of them keep living in this awkward status quo, knowing.

eventually jays hanahaki gets too much for him to handle and he either dies or nya/the others take matters into their own hands and without his consent, send him to surgery bc hes dying. unethical maybe but they want him to live

its super awkward after that.... but things return to normal and they all forget about it except for nya, where it lays heavy in her mind forever. if he dies its just tragedy. i dont want this kinda of end

a potential good neutral end however can be one in which jay tries his best to simply move on. try to process his one sided love into something... different somehow. because he accepts that nya has fallen out of love with him. he has long accepted that.

but they talk........... and a lot happens (being pushed into the portal, the rest of skybound). and jay has a realization too. nya may not love him in the same way.... it doesnt mean she doesnt love him. she still cares deeply.....

she cares about him a lot as a friend. that love is still worth something. its..... its more than what jay thought nya felt about him. it honestly felt like their relationship get demoted all the way down back to acquaintances, at best coworkers. not technically. they were still friends. but jay felt a yawning distance between them after the break up. its one part nya distancing herself from jay after that whole disaster. its also another part jay keeping his distance so that nya doesnt learn about his hanahaki

whatever talk between them was either just ninja business, surface level casual conversations, or small talk. it was awkward but only when they dwelled on it... (and jay did dwell on it) but in the lighthouse they actually talk Talked about things... about them. and jay learns

nya sacrifices herself to save jay in the lighthouse and he realizes that he still matters to her. the everpresent tightness in his chest doesnt leave but it.... loosens. and he breathes easier for the first time in a while

he still wishes that nya and him could get together romantically. but something about his feelings changes. he feels less lovelorn somehow. his heart still yearns a little. but somehow he feels more okay. he hurts less

and once time turns back and jay and nya share this secret and finally properly reconcile after everything is done. the pain in his chest abates more and more as time goes on. hes not sure if hes exactly cured. but he can live without hurting now somehow

he learns how to live with his unrequited love. and more importantly he doesnt need his love to be requited anymore. because love is love you know? she doesnt love him romantically but she does still love him. and thats still good

they were always a little mismatched in their feelings for each other anyways. jay isnt settling for lesser. nyas love for him now is just different not less. and jay accepts that. and hes content that they managed to fix them. their relationship. hes okay and happy

his own feelings... he doesnt know if they changed themselves also like nyas has. he doesnt feel like his love has changed. but the nature of it mightve become more ambiguous. and it doesnt matter anyways. he loves nya and that will never change

hmmmm i think this became less of a neutral end and more just an unrequited good end. and accidentally poured so much aro juice into it oh my god? i had a good requited end thought up kinda also before this end i just talked about the end first bc i wanted to talk about requited end last

i kinda came to really like good unrequited end........ im still gonna talk about good requited end tho. i kinda want opinions about which end is narratively the best..... even though i only have a confident audience of two

i think requited end is a bit more dramatic..... nya really doesnt know what to do. she broke it off with jay. she wants to fix him. she really wishes he didnt get hanahaki for *her* of all people....

whats so great about her anyways that he would live like this for months on end be just ok with it. she thinks if she was in jays shoes she would long moved on. she doesnt get what is worth the pain and risk

either way she doesnt want to date him out of pity. she distinctly has a feeling that wouldnt actually fix anything. and probably jay doesnt want that too. but also she cant fabricate love

she feels suffocated by just the prospect and it reminds nya about why she dumped jay in the first place. this whole thing reminds nya why she dumped him. jays love was always too much for her. smothering. of course he gets hanahaki. why is she even surprised. if anyone would, its jay. she doesnt want to resent him for it though. hes hurting because of it. and he spared it from nya up to this point and she only found out because jay couldnt help it. who knows how much longer he wouldve kept this secret

but as is. she doesnt know what to do. so they stay in the lighthouse awkwardly together. they were honest with each other but now what? .....actually. curing hanahaki can come later. they gotta focus on saving their friends and all of ninjago first before they can deal with them

HHMMMMMMMM....... i think despite knowing about how much jay love her.... she doesnt really... Get It. HOW he loves her i mean. quantity vs quality. when they were first dating, to her it was really casual. in my mind jay was first attracted to nya shallowly too

but then he fell deeper. more genuinely. and that contributed to a greater discrepancy between their level of affection. nya for the most part has been believing that jays obsession with her is because hes just too clingy and attached. and like he is. but.... its like the product of the intensity of the emotion you know? his love for her manifested in jay in a way that put nya off a little. contributed to the reason why nya dumped him all those months ago.... having a heart to heart gave her some perspective on what it has been like for jay but

thats different from Understanding you know? comprehending... seeing the depth... anyways... so jay had been acting too chivalrous up to that point right? and then nya learns about jays hanahaki and chalks up his behavior to him overcompensating...... a symptom even

nya thinks its just jay trying his best to win her back. she doesnt really have that many reasons to think otherwise. its whats consistent. this all happened because jay wanted them to get together again. whatever, she has decided that shes going to forgive jay for all that, needless acts of chivalry included. even tho. she really doesnt like that. calls it a force of habit and puts it aside. for more Important Things like taking care of jay and taking nadakhan Down

but then they get found and theyre scrambling fast to prepare for the attack and counterattack. they manage to fall into a frantic but familiar routine of collaborative repairs and fixes and asides from jays incessant coughing reminding nya that things are pretty awful.... its nice

she doesnt get to feel that way for long tho. their haven is raided and their prep wasnt enough, theyre struggling, theres way too many pirates and its just the two of them against what feels like an army and theyre on the way to losing and nadakhan is nowhere to be found

they try to stick together to have each others backs but they get separated anyways and they start doing even worse. im changing up the action scene btw. nya manages sweep a bunch of pirates away but doubloon is one of the ones that could actually put up a fight

meanwhile jay isnt fairing very well and maybe worse because he was already injured and also his hanahaki makes it really hard. he fights for his breath trying to hold his own. he gets fucking smashed by dogshank through the floor onto the stairwell below. all the air is knocked from him

and he legitimately cant breathe for a solid moment. hes wheezing and he coughs hard enough to vomit. he doesnt have his breath back when he looks up and sees nya panicking at the sight of him and shes distracted and jay sees doubloon take an opening

jay doesnt even breathe when he instantly fires a lightning bolt from prone towards doubloon. and hes already up and sprinting to nyas side to fill her blindspot.

hes on the cusp of an asthma attack, he can feel it, but he doesnt have the time to worry about it (as if he had any control over it) his chest is tight and his breaths are too shallow and it hurts but he pushes through it to protect nya. hes slipping though

assaulted from all sides, between doubloon and dogshank and all the pirates, jay knows theyre going to lose. mostly because of him. hes dragging the two of them down and why did he ever think the two of them had the chance and why did he ever think that nadakhan would even come (hes not gonna this turned into a full divergence now) and even if he wasnt flagging hard now, he can feel it his chest that hes going to pass out if this goes on for any longer and leave nya to fend for himself and get them both captured and he cant let that happen.

nya is at her wits fucking end she can feel them losing too and nya refuses to think about how at this rate both of them are going down, but she wont let them. but, among the harsh clangs of weapons, the rush of floods, and the cracks of lightning at jays fingertips,

through all this discord, at this proximity she can hear jays struggled breaths and its the most terrifying sound in the world. then suddenly shes shoved to the side and hears a crash and a cry and when nya looks jays sliced through by doubloons sword

then something glows by her feet and nya realizes what jay did. he broke the teapot. clutching at his wound, jay gives nya a strained smile. he says "sorry" and kicks her in before she can object. before the portal closes she watches jay take a stand only to be subdued

she lands in the junkyard with a bad tumble. she just lies in the dust and dirt in shock. it happened too fast. jay sacrificed himself for her? jay risked himself even though he was the one who needed protecting and got himself hurt to pull that stunt.

and now hes in their clutches again. rage begins to well up. why! why?! why did jay do that?! is he stupid! there had to be a better way, they couldve escaped together and regrouped! tears begin to well up as well. nya gets up and smashes a bunch of junk

jays parents come out after that. and nya realizes where she is for the first time and forces herself to calm down. she sorts out her feelings over ednas soup after shes pulled into the trailer.....

at first she doesnt get it. shes too upset to think about it. she vents to jays parents about what he did. "why did he do that?" and it was meant to be a rhetorical question for herself but edna gives her an answer thats way too simple.

"because he loves you."

and nya is hit with another rude realization. shes been having too many of those

jay..... loves her. deeply. truly loves her genuinely, more than he cares about himself. its not just lingering attachment. its a deeper, more sincere love than nya could ever fathomed. nya knew how much jay loved her. but at the same time she didnt. she didnt get how he loved her

she feels a way about that. all this time jay loved her this bad? bad enough to catch hanahaki, bad enough to keep his hanahaki, bad enough to hide it. bad enough to *wish* for her love, to suffer, ang to get hurt for her...

she thinks he loves her bad enough to die for her. she really feels a way about that. her heart starts beating fast. she doesnt want to put together why. she kinda wants to cry.

why was she so mean to him... sometimes he deserved the little things he had coming but why was she so harsh. why did she fall out of love with him..... well she knows but also.... she was really unfair to him huh. jay wasnt perfect and he was too much but... she doesnt know.

all she knows is she feels a lot of regrets right now.. and moved by jay what did for her... along with this third unplaceable feeling.

(she started falling in love again)

its a slow gradual thing tho. nya doesnt place it immediately. she doesnt think she wanted to after she broke up with him herself. didnt even think it was possible.

but eventually nya feels very embarrassed by it when she realizes. because 1) oh my god shes falling in love with him after falling out of love and dumping him? is she shameless? and also 2) flustered because shes For Reals in love this time now beyond the casual kind of love she held for him before. this realizaton doesnt happen anytime soon. probs a good amount of time after everything resolves

so for narrative purposes i swapped jays and nyas roles for this last part of the story only. i think its safe to say jay is not treated kindly when he reboards the ship. in fact i think theyre even crueler for letting nya get away. before he was just roughed up to play with him

a form of coercion to get him to make his last wish. this time theyre taking it out on jay as punishment. nya assembles a rescue party like jay does in canon and somehow rescues jay and she hates the state that she finds him hes in

i think he'll be easier to rescue than nya because hes not like.... nadakhans bride. but wait..... WAIT NO IT COULD HARDER BECAUSE THEY COULD SET HIM UP AS BAIT FOR NYA TO COME GET HIM.... FUCK CURSE MY WHUMP DRIVEN BRAIN!!!!!!!!!! ITLL BE SO MUCH HARDER TO GET HIM LIKE THIS BUT—

THE IMAGE OF JAY BEING TIED/STRUNG UP IN PLAIN VIEW.... fuck. figuring it out is too hard and i dont even need to figure it out for the romance do i like goddammit. fucking sequencing..... maybe they get their friends out of the sword first.... somehow.

as for how they beat nadakhan..... i havent thought up a good way. i dont think it should go the same way as canon. i want nya to actually have her agency and not take it away again after ive given it to her.

i however dont know what jays wish should be. thats like so hard to figure out. this end is a significance divergence from canon. oh also jay has been thoroughly gagged so he cant say his wish. and also maybe because the pirates got sick of his coughing. nadakhans goal for torturing jay has changed.

he doesnt want him to break and submit and wish himself away anymore. he has better use in making sure nya comes to him. well he can still break him. its extra motivation. an incentive for nya to be a bit more faster and careless in her desperation to save him. he just shuts jay up also.

also im a sadist. anyways back to defeating nadakhan.... its a little tough ngl! for me and for nya! because this story has diverged so considerably. it cant have the same climax as canon. it just doesnt work. not even when theyre roleswapped

nya cant make a wish. she doesnt have anymore wishes. or hmm maybe she does have one left like jay does in this timeline but i dunno.... technically i could do that bc nya used up her wishes in only stupid ways so its not that hard of a change.

it changes their game plan in the lighthouse just a bit but in this version nadakhan doesnt even show up so story wise its a nonfactor. they both couldve made a wish and stopped things. but they dont get the chance to do that.

but either way nya having a wish is an option, not something thats set in stone. also i think nya gets a hold of the venom. either jay had passed it to her when he pushed her into the portal or it stayed on his person and was confiscated and nya obtained it because clancee told her about it. which ever works. man is jay doing rough in this au. hes suffering so many consequences....i think as hes bound and helpless, hes gonna have a lot of thoughts... and a lot of regrets

he wishes he never kept secrets, he wishes he didnt make things worse.... i think he wishes nya doesnt come and rescue him. because if she does and she gets captured and nadakhan marries her for infinite wishes then itll all be his fault. again. because nya risked herself for him

so jay hopes nya doesnt come. he wants her to be safe even if it means hes forever captured. its better than the worst case scenario.

but a tiny tiny tiny part of jay that is wishful does hope that he is rescued. because hes weak. he selfishly wants nya to save him

he shouldve learned by now that his desire for nya doesnt do him any good. but the part thats terrible and in love still wishes for better. he wants to be saved. he wants to be forgiven. he wants to fix things. he doesnt want to hurt anymore.

he thinks he can accept nya never loving him again. but he wants to stop aching in his chest. but he cant let go of his love. at this point its a part of who he is. so even though hes resigned to suffer and part of him foolishly hopes. he wishes

but jay doesnt get it. nya HAS forgiven him. she wishes she has never hurt jay like she did and if she could she would take it back. shes determined to fix things one way or any other. she has to save him or shes the worst. jay never deserved *all* of this.

once she saves him shes going to fix them. somehow.

and somehow they do. with a wish i cannot fucking figure out so SPARE ME. but i think... they dont go back in time. things arent undone and theres damage everywhere. so much repairs to be done. and theres a start to everything

i think i forgot to mention but at the end of unrequited good end, which honestly i think friendship end is a more fitting name, jay and nya hug at the end of skybound when time rolls back. no kiss. i think the same happens at the end of requited end too. time doesnt roll back but they have moment... hug.. but still no kiss. not yet. nya hasnt realized her feelings are changing. actually she might it takes a bit for them to develop. jay and nya start having a very honest relationship with each other tho

nya doesnt want to ignore jays hanahaki and jay comes to a similar conclusion as friendship/unrequited end. he realizes nya still cares for him A Lot as a friend, she cared so much she risked everything to walk into nadakhans trap guns blazin. and he doesnt want to jeopardize their friendship by distancing himself.

he wants things to be normal between them despite his hanahaki. and the funny thing is that... in this end, jays hanahaki gets somewhat more manageable too.... but its for a different reason in this au. lol. lol. because his feelings are becoming requited.

his hanahaki isnt suddenly gone one day because nyas feelings are so ambiguous tho. and when she does finally realize that shes fallen for jay. she actually goes into a bit of denial. for a mix of reasons.

its not because nya doesnt want to cure jay of his hanahaki. she just didnt think thats a thing that can happen. falling in love again. she was also so very sure that she didnt have feelings for jay anymore before so its also a pride thing she has going on. subconsciously, she doesnt want to take things back because shes stubborn.

and its also one part nya feeling like shes doing jay a little bit dirty somehow (her brain making her overthink in a twisted way) and that she wouldve been toying with jays feelings if she returns them now. after all this time has passed.

is she that fickle? (its not her being fickle) and nya cant quite place why she has feelings for jay again. nya feels like jay probably deserves someone better than her, someone who hasnt hurt him so bad.

nya has trouble understanding herself so she thinks shes being flaky and worries her feelings are flaky also and she doesnt want to hurt jay again with such uncertain feelings. i am making nya feel so fucking complicated and conflicted. FEELINGS ARE OFTEN AS SUCH!!!

but despite nya's internal turmoil, her feelings for jay are very genuine. she might think they are arbitrary but thats not quite the case. well her love is arbitrary as any other love is. but anyways. she fell again because jay did win her over, not even when he was trying to.

his sincere love... his dedication. when nya saw it in a different light it was attractive to her. she appreciates that jay loves her the way he does now. also before (the breakup) her love for jay was a bit shallow. it was just that casual. but now what she feels for jay is more genuine. and more equal. eventually she sorts it out. there might be some of romantic drama to get her to get there though. a bit more accidental hurt.

i had the tangential thought that jay might tell nya that his hanahaki is getting better causing her to go "on no". jays finally letting go of his feelings over for her and nya doesnt want to mess that up. hes finally recovering when she catching feelings again?

of course this would happen to her. shes glad but shes wistful she missed her chance at having a boyfriend who truly cares about her like jay does.... serves her right. .... nya is an idiot lol... jays is getting better bc of her skdjhtrglksdj. anyways

eventually... they talk. and sort it all out. all the hurt and feelings and love. nya opens up and confesses and jay cries about it lol. because this is all he had ever wanted ever since he fell in love with nya. the elation he feels is unparalleled. and tightness in his chest finally vanishes all together and he feels better than he has in ages. of course he says yes. he tells nya things to erase her doubts. and it took a lot of trouble to get here but theyre here now. together again for reals. and neither of them can believe it.

they hold hands. and they finally kiss

I THINK. THATS THE END OF REQUITED END. WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT MY THOUGHTS FOR THIS END WERE INITIALLY MUCH SHORTER, SHORTER THAN, UNREQUITED/FRIENDSHIP END? ON GOD. WHAT HAPPENED. ITS BECAUSE I FELT LIKE REQUITED END REALLY NEEDED FULLY BEAT OUT DEVELOPMENT. OR ELSE I COULDNT BE SATISFIED WITH IT. IM A LITTLE EMBARRASSED BY WHAT I CAME UP WITH FEELS KINDA SAPPY BUT I CANT TELL IF IT IS. IM ARO. THIS ISNT MY HOME TURF. BUT I WANTED REQUITED END TO BE ACTUALLY VIABLE WITHOUT FEELING FORCED.... I WANTED TO BE AS SATISFIED WITH THIS AS I AM FOR UNREQUITED END. AND ENDED UP NEEDING TO PUT IN 100 TIMES THE WORK SDJKTUFHIGTLSDKJ. I THINK I ACCOMPLISHED WHAT I WANTED THO...... I THINK ITS OKAY..........

okay. im finally picking flowers. ive been thinking about it a bit while i wrote this whole thing. it wasnt a priority. but i do wanna pick some flowers that fit this story....

had the thought that depending on the end of this au (... i have aus within my au huh....) jay actually has different flowers. different meanings and symbolism.

i want jays primary flower to be an anemone for the record. “forsaken love”. nods. thats pretty representative of jays love for like. 3 seasons. also.... shares a name with the ocean animal. water... small connection with nya... not directly representative of her but it does a little. anemone has a few other meanings as well and i think those can fit too depending on the end. but the primary meaning im using is forsaken love (apparently its specifically the red and pink ones that mean this. please do note all these flower language resources are pretty inconsistent from each other)

tragic death end- anemone (specifically red- also means death), red poppy (remembrance in death), red spider lily (am i going too ham with the death flowers? yes. would jay see this as an ill omen? definitely. however. symbolism. also this bouquet is just So red. with blood lol)

tragic lost love (surgery) end- anemone, yellow chrysanthemums (broken/slighted love), black dahlia (betrayal), narcissus (unrequited love, selfishness), rue (regret), i would add forget me nots if i didnt think it doesnt fit with the colors

friendship/unrequited end- anemone, yellow rose (bros the meaning of the yellow rose is so fucking loaded LMAO. friendship, infidelity (nya), undying love? the wiki sure lists a lot), dandelion (overcoming hardship, growth, hope, and healing, friendship)

requited end- anemone, sea lavender (remembrance/memory, sympathy, i love you), sea holly (independence (nya) and attraction (jay)). okay so i dunno if a bouquet of these would look good together per se but.... ocean theme.... and also i wanted the flowers to rep both jay and nya in meanings.... since this is the end in which theyre together after all....

flower language is fucking hard. but i cant NOT put sincere thought into it. its fucking hanahaki i feel like i Gotta. btw these arent 100% set in stone i might change my mind about them? but i do really like anemone tho.... and tangential thought hgtjbnfjkghl sea holly would be fucking AWFUL for jay to cough up. esp when he starts spitting full flowers. those look like they hurt. just like what its like to love nya (lol). flower that would definitely make him cough blood

anyways..... if you made it to the end of this..... thank you.... this post is literally over 7600 words. thats like a long one shot. this is more like a fic outline tho. anyways anyways.... madness legit descended upon me while i wrote this all. i hope you enjoyed. i did this for my self satisfaction but if other people enjoyed this also i kinda wanna know

holds up a glass. cheers to jays suffering and heartbreak

(og thread here)

#ninjago talk #oh also. if you read all this. tell me which ending you like....#jem.txt #..... feel like i need a tag for this kind of stuff but what....#my concepts #thatll do #jaya #ninjago #im holding back on character tags i cant do that im embarrassed as is

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rist-ix · 6 months

Note

I have a question for you what do you think of the quote unquote age gap between Bloom and Valtor?

I had to do alot of research to understand Bloom age when I started to like this ship better than Mr cheater. So here's a brief information dump:

Bloom is 16 in the first episode and its confirm her bday is December 10 (we don't know the the exact year when each girl was born only the fact Stella is the oldest by that logic Bloom is the second youngest out of the group) when we get to season 3 it is confirmed that the girls is in their 3rd semester so that makes Bloom 19 at point. Valtor's age we do not know however I'm going to say at most early 20s from what we know Valtor working with a younger Griffin before he got Popsicled.

Here comes the tricky part. In s4 the girls just finished their semester and graduated making them 20-21. Up until s5 where Nicklodeon had to reboot their age making them 16 again. Flashforward to s8 and that makes Bloom age 19 if you are following the reboot or 23 if you do not follow the reboot. Since we don't know how long Valtor been frozen his mental age is up for debate.

For me personally I don't see Sparxshipping as an Edward and Bella situation as Edward was aging naturally during his years while Valtor was frozen and couldn't age naturally but only mentally.

Okay okay first of all! Your Bloom math checks out and I just realized that I for some reason always thought Bloom is 18 in s3. Which is still possible, I think, I just dont know why I assumed that. Actually no, it works, if she is 16 in s1 she is 17 in s2 and 18 in s3, but we dont know a lot about how the school years work in Magix so I'm gonna jot her down as 18-19 for the remainder of this post.

Still dont know how I passed math btw.

Anyway. Valtor's age is where the real mystery is at. We've got two possibilities in my opinion.

1. He's pulling the ageless immortal card.

My personal go-to for fics and discussions. Love me some 300 year old mommy issues. He has too much practice being a messy bitch, there's no fixing this man folks.

Evidence: There's a flashback showing him with Griffin as a tween: she looks MUCH younger, he looks exactly the same. Unless he also stole the secret magic of the world's most potent anti aging cream, or Griffin's proximity to Faragonda just aged her by three more decades, he does not age.

2. He is the age he looks.

Which, in my humble opinion, would not put him anywhere near twenty. That is a grown man. He's not college age, unless you count college professors under that word. Even if I were good at guessing ages the very stylized art style would throw me for a loop, but im gonna say 40s, give or take. Look at Avalon, look at Codatorta, look at King Radius if u must. That is the age range we're looking at.

Evidence: I dont have any. We're ballin'. I guess it's never explicitly stated he's immortal, which you'd think would be big enough of a deal to mention. If u got something feel free to let me know.

That being said, the Winx Club Wiki page for the canon timeline (ha, good one) puts the time of Valtor's creation in a rough time frame from "Over 17 years before season 1" to "Under 100 years before season 6". So he could technically be anywhere from 17-97, though I'm not sure the upper limit is as reliable as the lower one, given the check-list format of the website. So make of that what you will.

Now that we've got the question of age out of the way, lets get to the age gap. I have no idea what the situation in twilight was to be honest, so I cant compare that.

Realistically, there's at least a decade between Bloom and Valtor. Possibly two decades and change. And that is just from visible age, we can add a few centuries on top of that if we're sticking with the immortal bit. I'm gonna be gonest, I dont think being frozen for 17 years will make a whole lot of difference here.

If you find that icky, which is fair, you can always change that for fics tho! Either turn him into a twenty year old or put Bloom in her milf-era, the options are endless. Personally, I think the age difference is half the fun though, and also the least of their issues. When you're off making out with the objectively worst person in history, wether he's too old for her isnt gonna rank very high on people's list of concerns.

#asks #sparxshipping #winx bloom #winx valtor #i think their very obvious gap in knowledge and experience is very intrinsic to their canon dynamic #Bloom being the underdog while Valtor is VERY convinced of his superiority kind of defines the ship for me #and it makes it so much more satisfying when Bloom does put him on his ass

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bp-zb1fics · 1 year

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hi! it’s me the anon who requested best sellers such as “shy shy shy” and “the perils of dating you” (im gonna just call myself anon 🐰 since i’m in here all the time😭) but i’m back with another req!!

this time it’ll be

-gunwook x male reader

-gunwook having a crush (confession included) on reader

-fluff/humor

-same year/university au!

it’s readers birthday and gunwook has always had a crush on reader. they share a lot of the same classes and same friend group but he never had the chance to talk (or confess) to reader so this year he decides to leave presents on readers desks for his birthday leading up to his big confession!

maybe throw in some challenges for gunwook (like maybe an older brother sung hanbin oop🤭) but you can go about this however you want you always do a great job in your writing!

-🐰

The perils of confessing to you~

pairing: park gunwook x male reader

genre: university au on some crack (same verse as perils of asking and sunbaenim), fluff, humour

tw/tags: planning confession, pining, gunwook’s hyung and gyuvin ftw, pda, flirting, yes gunwook’s hyung is the scarier park brother, hanbin being equally scary, it’s giving overprotective but unhinged, cheesy messages (I also cringe), lots of banter, we’ll never know what the final gift was

wc: 1928

Summary: gunwook plans to confess to you on your birthday. The plan doesn’t exactly go as planned.

a/n hi 🐰anon! Tysm for sending such fun reqs, I really never thought I could write this much comedy bc I’m really not a funny person. This fic took a diff direction from what I had in mind but I hope you like it! And since it’s the same au, gunwook’s hyung and Gyuvin are dating, it is canon~

check my pinned for more fics!

It wasn’t that Gunwook was used to winning.

Sure, he had an impressive track record. Medals from debate competitions and football matches, consistent class president or vice president certificates for every year that he was in school. Sure he was successful. But that wasn’t because he won at everything he did, 100% success rate without trying.

No, it wasn’t that Gunwook was used to winning, it’s that he knew how to win. His strategy was foolproof, carefully tweaked and reworked to fit the goal he was trying to achieve.

And now? The goal was different.

It was, arguably, the most important of Gunwook’s life and he wanted to win desperately.

The goal? Confess to you with a 99.99% success rate of you saying yes.

And like any other goal that he’s had, Gunwook had to make a plan. A winning strategy. And no, it wouldn’t be long or complicated or fussy. Gunwook liked his plans to be as simple as possible. Simple is best, he’d like to think.

So yes, Gunwook’s plan to confess to you consisted of 4 simple steps. Sounds pretty easy, yeah? Well unfortunately, life is not that simple as Gunwook would soon find out. And confessing to you? Well it might get a little more complicated than he thinks.

1.Start Early

This step was fairly easy. He’s got about a month till your birthday. More time would be ideal but it was still a good number of days. He needed to collect intel, your class schedule for one, he did share a few classes with you. Your likes and dislikes, another important list he needed to make, nothing would throw a wrench in his plans like accidentally doing something that would make you angry or annoyed or upset. Huh, maybe he could-

“Gunwook?”

His laptop slams shut. Gunwook sends out a prayer to the universe that he looks normal and not at all scheming about how to confess to you as he lifts his head to meet your curious stare. You fidget a little, nibbling slightly at your bottom lip.

Cute, he thinks. No Gunwook, now is not the time.

“Sorry, is it not a good time?” You hesitate and he’s scrambling to reassure you. In his head, of course. No scrambling will be witnessed by you.

“No, no, it’s all good. I wasn’t working on anything important.” Spectacular acting, great job.

“Oh! Okay, uh well your hyung was looking for you and um, I think he said you weren’t answering your phone? Something about dinner, I think. And yeah, just happened to see you there.” You laugh a little as Gunwook’s unbothered expression took a shade similar to panic.

“Oh! Oh shit- uh, I mean, I’m sorry.” Cool, Gunwook, be cool. Come on.

“It’s really no problem.” You assure him and wow, your smile is really nice. He wants to stand there in appreciate it for a moment but-

“Um, so would you need to go?” Ah shit.

“Right! Right!” You watch as he hurriedly packs his things, stuffing them into his bag and making to leave. Then, he pauses and turns back to you.

“I’ll see you around?”

You’re not quite sure why it’s phrased like a question but-

“Yeah, see you when I see you.”

Gunwook doesn’t see the way you watch his retreating back, wishing that maybe you could’ve-

2. Form a Reliable Team

“So let me get this straight. You want me to help you confess to Sung junior?”

“...yes hyung.”

“And you want to do it for his birthday?”

“Well, I was thinking maybe it starts a little earlier than his birthday, one gift every day leading up to it for a week?”

“Mhmm and where will you get the money to buy all these gifts?

“...maybe 3 days before?”

“Okay, sounds reasonable.”

“Soo, can you help with this?”

“Wookie.” Gunwook looks at his hyung whose expression seems to waver between encouragement and exasperation.

“You know I love you and I will always support you especially when your feelings are so sincere. And Hanbin-hyung is one of the nicest people I know. Seriously, he is. But you do know that he gets a little crazy when it comes to his younger brother?”

“More like insane.” Gyuvin chimes in and Gunwook just remembers that his hyung’s boyfriend is there too. “Seriously I’m glad that I ended up-”

“You’re glad you ended up what, huh?” Gunwook and Gyuvin collectively flinch, all too familiar with that tone.

“Nothing aein~”

“Mhmm that’s what I thought.”

“Saranghae~” Ugh, right in front of Gunwook’s dinner? Really?

“I love you more Gyuvinie~” God, Gyuvin’s got heart eyes and he’s leaning and nope-

“Gross, hyung. We’re in public.”

His hyung raised an eyebrow, looking at the empty restaurant they were in, save for another couple tucked in the back corner doing exactly what his hyung and Gyuvin would be if he wasn’t sitting with them.

“Mhmm, public, you say. Wookie, you’re a smart boy, tell me, who’s paying for your dinner?”

“...you hyung.”

“And why are we eating here?”

“Because I like the food here.”

“And why should we let hyung do what he wants?”

“Because hyung loves me very much and he’s allowed to love his boyfriend as much as he wants too.” Gunwook recites dutifully.

“Very nice, Wookie, you’re so smart, that’s exactly what I thought.”

Gunwook shoves more food into his mouth, pointedly avoiding eye contact with either of them. Gyuvin’s eyes have gotten so wide that they look like they’re about to pop out of his head. He also looks either like he’s absolutely terrified or completely in love. Maybe a bit of both.

‘Gyuvinie~”

“...Yes aein?”

“Tell me, who’s the scarier Park here?”

“...You are, aein.”

“That’s what I thought.

Maybe Gunwook should rethink the whole confessing thing. If this was what a relationship looked like, he wasn’t sure if he wanted that. You do, a traitorous voice in the back of his head whispers.

…Yes he does.

2. Form a Reliable Team

Have semi-supportive hyungs that make you feel single and motivate you to confess even more

3. Make Thoughtful slogans and posters Gifts

They’ve got one class where the professor likes them seated alphabetically, mostly so she can call on someone and also look them right in the eye while she does. Gunwook hates it. He didn’t come to college to feel like he was in highschool again. The only good thing about it was he knew exactly where you sat and no one would be taking your seat by mistake.

His first gift is your favourite snack. He’s seen you eating enough times to deduce that. But also, you told him one day when he asked about it. Because past him knew that future him was going to need it, definitely so.

Your face immediately lights up when you see it. Gunwook fist pumps under his desk. He watches inconspicuously as you carefully tuck the snack into your bag and take the note he left with it (type-written because he’s not sure if you’ll recognise his handwriting but also he’s lent you notes before so he doesn’t want to take any chances).

I noticed this was your favorite~ did you know you’re my favourite too? Enjoy! Sincerely, your secret admirer

Your cheeks flush a little and Gunwook resists the very real urge to jump up from his desk and do a little happy dance. Luckily the professor comes in and stops him from doing so.

The next day, he gives you a teddy bear.

Well, more like Ricky does. After much convincing, his hyung had gotten one of his friends from the foreign student society to hand it to you. Gunwook had to make sure it was someone neither of you knew well, you know, to keep it lowkey.

Here’s something to cuddle, hope I get to cuddle with you too~

His hyung outright snorted when he read the note.

“God Wookie, Gyuvinie says cheesy things like that all the time but this really makes me want to-”

He stops himself.

“Well at least I know you really like him.”

“...Did you think I didn’t?”

“Ah no, not really, you always get this really stupid look when he’s around.”

That’s rich coming from someone whose boyfriend looks equally stupid when they’re around. Not that Gunwook would say that out loud. He values his life, thank you very much.

“Also you try to act cool, it’s funny. Ah, ah, don’t look at me like that, I’m your hyung, you can’t fool me Wookie.”

Yeah he really can’t.

The day before your birthday, Gunwook prepared your birth flower for you.

He’s still thinking of a way to pass it to you without giving himself away when Sung Hanbin corners him, a manic look in his eyes.

“It’s you, isn’t it?” Ahh shit.

“It is.” Because honesty is the best policy. The older boy seemed to be taken aback. What? Did he expect Gunwook to deny it?

“You want to date my little brother?”

“Yes, hyung.”

“You think you deserve to date him?”

“I think I deserve a chance to tell him how I feel and whether he accepts my feelings is entirely up to him.”

“...your hyung wasn’t lying when he said you were smart.”

Now they’re just staring at each other. Hanbin looks a little less crazy so Gunwook takes a deep breath and says.

“I just really, really like him, hyung.

Hanbin’s silent for a moment. Then, he smiles. It’s absolutely terrifying.

“Fuck it up once and I’ll make sure they never find you.”

“Yes hyungnim.”

“Right. Good. Now where’s his gift for today? I’ll make sure he gets it.”

4. Prepare a Winning speech Confession

Somehow Gunwook manages to make it out of there alive, all limbs intact. It’s a miracle. But there’s no time to waste.

It’s today.

He’s got it all planned. A note’s been delivered to you saying that your last gift is waiting for you at the famous brick wall building on campus. He’s dressed a little nicer than usual. Your gift is tucked safely in his back pocket.

Everything will go smoothly. You’ll come over. He’ll confess to you. And hopefully, Gunwook really hopes you say yes.

He’s a little nervous. What if you don’t show up? What if he messes up his confession? (Yes, he spent days putting one together, it’s harder than doing a campaign speech, the struggle is real). What if you say n-

“Are you my gift?”

Gunwook looks up. You’re smiling at him, holding onto the note he sent. This is it. This is the moment he’s been preparing for.

“Please don’t feel pressured but I just wanted you to know that I really like you and if you accept my feelings-”

“I like you too.”

Wait what?

Well, there goes his speech. He stares at you, wide-eyed, mouth slightly open.

“I thought you were really cute the day our hyungs introduced us.” You tell him, a little flustered but pleasantly flushed. “And I wanted to get close to you but I’m not really good at that and it really took me a long time to convince Hanbin-hyung to stop hovering and I was really scared that he had scared you off the other day but he didn’t and you asked me to come here and I-”

You take a deep breath and Gunwook’s never been happier than when you say-

“I just really like you, Gunwook-ah.”

In a second, he’s closing the gap between you two, hesitating slightly before taking your hands in his, holding them gently.

“Happy Birthday~”

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onlyswan · 6 months

Note

hi art 💓 so im rereading iw couples breakup drabble as one would do everytime shes on her period (its a canon event i think ppl would relate) and i have a few questions!!! 🥹🦋

1. what were the iw couple doing before they were in the car? like did they spend the day only to then break up? i rmb reading that jk was on tour, did he came back and break up w them right away? did he at least get them a present???!

2. what events led him to the decision? we know that prob he’s overwhelmed, the uncertainty of his career and the drabble from where he saw how draining it is on oc. but is there a bigger thing that happened?

3. u wrote that he “practiced” breaking up with oc. like is this true? how long has he thought of breaking up w oc before he actually did it? and how did oc not expect anything??? ☹️☹️

4. who is this “not married yet” girl that jk was teasing tae about? that sounds so saucYY a drabble for that would be super fun!! its gonna be super angsty too!!! hahahahhaha

5. we know jk regretted it right away after breaking up w oc, but why didn’t he backtrack and take it back? i know oc must’ve thought hes crazy but he didnt even call or text first? us reading is comforted by knowing that jk is also having the worst time, but oc doesn’t. yet theyre brave enough to be the one who reached out first, bc for all they know, jk could be with some other people right now, alr over them. did oc know that he’s not that kind of person or deep down they’re just being as brave as they can asking for what they wants which is him?

6. can we pleaseeeee have more drabbles where we can see how much the boys adore oc? or just their dynamic i would say. also do they have a special connection with each of the boys on different things? like maybe a drabble where jk & oc pack a homemade lunch to bring when visiting jin hobi or yoongi 🥹🥹

7. after the initial breakup, were things ever awkward? were there times when oc had to get used to him being in their life again or something less dramatic? did he ever see doubts or worry in oc’s eyes and is the even when he gave u reasons to drabble, the first time they had to address the traumatic event in their relationship? do they ever talk about it now? or laugh about it?

8. what happened with the “someone else i met in a bar turned out to be a jerk”??? when was this?! HAHAHHA jk must’ve lost his fucking mind after learning about this

9. kinda curious has there been a time when jk really needs quality time w oc and just brings her on tour? my dream is becoming a tour wifey so this would hit all the right spot:( esp w how easy he handled the situation from the last drabble of just inviting her to come w him. cutest ☹️

thank you so much for providing one of my comfort fics!! i hope ure having a great day🌷🥹

oh!! also!! i think we’ve never seen iw couple be on a date date, like fancy super dressed up date. is that just not them? can we see more of their date nights??

heyyy beloved i missed you 🥺🥺🥺 omg???

there are two types of onlyswan readers: one - those who reread the period drabbles then they’re on their period / two - those who reread the breakup drabble when they’re on their period 😭😭😭

ALRIGHT [cracks knuckles]

1. he broke up with oc as soon as he arrived back from tour 🥲 like literally. our guy was still jetlagged. he just wasn’t in his right mind at the time honestly. oc hopped in the car thinking they were going to spend time together someplace else but… yk what happened… ofc he got oc lotssss of presents though </3 including those gifts he talked about in the video oc watched before they called him :(

2. at the time they were already making plans about what will happen in the next few years of their career including the m word ehem ehem so. yeah he was overwhelmed and tired and he felt guilty of having to always leave oc + we know how oc is so empathetic so he also felt guilty that they have to carry his burdens as well ☹️

3. probably a month 🤨 but he didn’t actually want to break up with oc yk? it felt more like a thing that he had to do </3 so oc never suspected anything because the way he was acting towards them never changed. he wanted to hold on.

4. LMAOOOOO maybe in the future i’ll get around to that 🤞🏼 but tae was going through it for reaaaaal

5. he didn’t jump out the car to chase oc because him immediately changing his mind would’ve pissed oc off thinking that he was just playing a joke on their feelings and that would earn him a slap on the face 😭 he thought of that. and oc said they wanted to decide for theirself too :( so he wanted to respect that but he ended up becoming too much of a coward to reach out first after that bcs what if oc already decided that the breakup was for the best too 🥲 what if they hate him now 🥲 but he should’ve thought about it more from oc’s pov bcs they were suffering thinking that he alr gave up frfr </3

hmmm joon did talk to them about jk having a hard time, but during the breakup they did ask if he cheated so we know that they have this anxiety :( oc is just our bravest soldier who knows what they want and always tries their best to get it (him) 🫡

6. omg yessss more soon i’ve been thinking about one with jimin too specifically !! oc definitely bonds with each of the tannies about different things 🥺

7. yea, the even when he gave u reasons to drabble was the first time they brought it up again :( after they got back together jk really made efforts to reassure oc and that’s partly because he did see how they became kind of timid when he expresses affection. (i.e., jk saying “i didn’t love you any less and you know that.” and oc not saying anything and walking away instead) (this shit still kills me today sorry)

8. this was oc’s bf before jungkook aka guy with the dirty nails aka the ex who cursed them out like crazy when oc broke up with him (called them a slut) AND ALMOST made oc delete jungkook’s first ever texts to them bcs they lowkey started believing him. (he makes me mad sorry)

9. heeee wanted to but oc has only tried flying out for the ptd la and vegas shows bc the circumstances before then were different :( they were balancing school and multiple jobs. and we know how hard oc studied. they were so committed 😭 but now they live together and oc has a stable job and everything’s just more flexible overall so going with him overseas when he has work there is easy and not a problem at all 🥺

oh ofccc they’ve been on fancy dates esp that oc loves feeling pretty <3 but someone take me on a fancy date first so i can write about it 🤧

this is the first time someone called the giving up drabble a comfort fic lmaoooo this made my day i love you 😭 i hope i answered your questions and thank you soooo much for reading my works 🥺💕

#art’s post office ☁️#heytherejjk <3

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theolddivorcedzukka · 6 months

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I am asking about your zukka mitski playlist because my interest has been peaked !!

hi anon i am aware that this ask was sent on july 1st and your interest is no longer piqued so oops and sorry :(

here is the playlist link in case u still want to listen to it and ill talk about it a bit under the read more!!

hiiii so the funny thing about this playlist is that it was from before i even started posting about divorced zukka but i still had the headcanon of zuko and sokka dating when younger, breaking up, and then getting back together as middle aged adults. the playlist follows that exact same sequence cause im too lazy to write the fic so this is my way of writing the divorced zukka fic

ok so im not gonna explain the whole thing but I'll try to be a bit brief about what the songs talk about without getting into Why cause i know i'll be here for hours if i do so

1-3: sokka's section. it is set in canon and the vibe here is "i need to be strong, i need to be brave and tough like my father, like a real man, i have depression, i need to be the warrior, i do all the protecting but who is going to save me, i'm just asking for a kiss, one day i am going to die, etc"

4-9: zuko's section. set in canon up till "working for the knife" which is about him being firelord which suuuuucks. ehh you get the gist of it he is flawed, he is fucked up, he doesn't know what he wants, he is the forest fire, he is watching himself burn, he just needs something that will fill him up, etc and then he is crowned firelord and he gets worse but in a different way

10-11: classic sokka and zuko parallelism. hungry to be something they cannot be, thinking that that thing is what they should want, that that is what they are really hungry for. Wrong

12-13: set in the boiling rock. both would be from sokka's perspective and first love late spring is there because of how zuko holds sokka back from doing this reckless thing alone and end up killing himself "one word from you and i would jump off of this ledge im on baby. tell me don't so i can crawl back in" and heat lightning is about sokka surrendering and giving in to accepting that he needs help, he can't do this alone and so he allows zuko and co to carry this load with him and work together to get out of tbr

14-15: zuko and sokka start dating years after the war. "come into the water" is basically "come here, let's take this risk together. we both know it could be a mess but we don't really care about that right now, tell me you want me to do this and i'll come into the water with you" and for a while, it is all good. sokka and zuko start falling in love, they start taking care of each other, thinking that they can heal like this together and it'll all be good. there is still some issues in there like sokka's protectiveness that can end up hurting him "while you sleep, i'll be scared. so by the time you wake, ill be brave" but during that period in their relationship, they feel like nothing can get to them as long as they're together in their safe space.

16-18: the problems arise. they both knew that this had to be secret because of zuko's position, homosexuality being illegal in the fire nation, the assassination attempts that could worsen if the truth came out, and both their reputations but it's hard keeping it secret when they wish they could be like this not only behind locked doors. as well as that, sokka feels inferior here in the fire nation and it's not just the way the court talks about and at him and the way he's treated because of the fire nation's racism, it's that feeling that in a way he is betraying the water tribe, his family, his mother, everyone. what is he doing here in a nation that caused him and everyone so much harm? and he can separate how he feels about zuko from how he feels about the fire nation but it feels wrong sometimes, they feel like the same person sometimes.

18: this could also be seen as the proposal gone wrong or what leads up to it. they both aren't talking things through with full honesty, they try to avoid conflict cause their relationship is their one good thing at the moment. "sorry i can't take your touch, it's not that i don't want you" is basically sokka refusing the proposal to me. those aren't his words, they both just burst out at each other and make it all a mess. and sokka wants zuko but he can't sacrifice himself to spend his whole life there in a nation that he just doesn't feel right in, which might be one of sokka's few "im doing this for me" moments, and so this ends their relationship. huzzah.

19: breakup song. thinking that's where you loved me. me too zukka

20-21: classic zuko self-deprecation momence. "when you leave me, i should die. i deserve it, don't i?" and "i don't blame you if you want to bury me in your memory, im not the boy i ought to be" etc

22: sokka's lament. "i know i ended it but why won't you chase after me?" i know that this is what i must do but why won't you come back and try to change my mind? what if you just don't care anymore? why didn't you stop me even if we both know that we can't change this?

23: "you're my best friend now i have no one to tell how i lost my best friend" no comment

24: aghhhh this love is a star it's so gone now it's so over

25: we are so back!!!! as reluctant friends. this is zuko and sokka's first formal reunion together where they actually sit down together and awkwardly talk and pretend they don't have feelings. they are both lying when they say they haven't told anyone ofc they have. in my mind, this is when zuko has izumi now and they're catching up and trying to be friends again

26-27: that doesn't fucking work, they don't want to be friends. they always want each other when they think they're finally fine, they're both foolish to bet on this "whatever it is" when they know they're bound to lose. they want each other but they can't have each other, they hold the cards, they have a chance but taking that risk could ruin everything

28: oh my gooood fuck it let's hook up for old time's sake but also we both know that this shit won't go anymore but let's take this chance only for today (becomes a frequent thing every time sokka visits)

29: sokka has a realization and finds out that zuko still does have feelings. he wanted him but he couldn't reach sokka again, he's been keeping all of him in his memory to try to keep that love and now Sokka knows. oh shit wtf what now?

30: zuko and sokka have a talk. they have a small moment. maybe there is slow dancing involved. it really was foolish of us to think that we could stay the same. it would be so wonderful to go back to when we were younger, that short time was beautiful while it lasted. we both know that there is love in here but it can't happen again. im sorry

31: SIKE!!!! WE ARE SO BACK FR THIS TIME. you are the one i want, you're the one i've got, i'm not wasting this one lifetime without you. i will be the one you need, the way i can't be without you

32: zukka undivorced arc baby zukka back together. i know i've kissed you before but i didn't do it right, i haven't kissed you the way i should. let me kiss you like it used to be, not hurried or desperate, let me do it right and let me try again and again and again until we get it right. maybe there is no way to get it right and perfect but they still kiss so it's a perfect excuse

33: zuko and sokka retire, zuko ends the monarchy, they run off to the water tribe together just like they planned from the beginning. they could be anywhere but it doesn't matter where, they just want to be still with each other

34: *sokka voice* yue i just had a weird prophetic dream so if i die, look after zuko for me

35: sokka death scene amv. zuko loses sokka forever this time and there's no coming back now. he doesn't know how to be strong anymore if sokka isn't here to see him

36: zuko death scene amv. go get your stupid death on a rocking chair all calm and peaceful, old man

37: end credits

#asks #anon #divorced zukka #this is my magnum opus btw

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hekateinhell · 7 months

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Tell me abt preggers armand please. I have a fic im working on and need 2 hear other peoples opinions on this topic 😈

🥹🥹🥹

okay so first of all i'm so upset i didn't see this ask until i checked my askbox on my phone which i almost NEVER do anymore since i'm getting old and prefer to just answer things via laptop where i can keyboard smash at full capacity raw and unfiltered but like MY DMS ARE OPEN I'M NOT ALWAYS THE FASTEST RESPONDER BECAUSE I'M IN GRAD SCHOOL AND LIFE AND WHATEVER BUT I DON'T TRUST TUMBLR ANYMORE BECAUSE I DIDN'T SEE THIS UNTIL YESTERDAY ON DESKTOP TUMBLR PLS DON'T DEPRIVE ME OF MY PEOPLE

now that that's out of the way:

it depends! you have to be more specific, like are we talking vampires? human AU? BECAUSE I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR EACH

canon verse/vampire:

don't ask me to explain the science or whatever lol i don't care, i just skip to the pregnancy part!

i think armand would be SO FUCKING FERAL and defensive, like he's lost so much and been so traumatized in so many ways, the idea of anything happening to his baby would have him in full gremlin mode. imagine a feral cat hissing and spitting and clawing and biting (not for food but for violence)!

on the other hand, he'd be obsessively bonded to his baby daddy (daddies, if there's multiple babies). he is not letting them out of his sight (i default to lestat here LMAO listen i want them to knock each other up so bad--separate universes obviously)

HE WOULD NEST SO FUCKING HARD!!! i was going to say i apologize for my brain but then i realized that i don't actually but i want him to nest on a pile of lestat's clothes and give birth right there like a fucking cat 🥹

ALTERNATIVELY THOUGH: i also had this idea that's like louis impregnates lestat and armand at the same time and they get to go through their pregnancies together and it's every bit as horny, hellish, and sweet as you'd imagine 🫶🏻 i've said it before and i'll say it again--lestat would be the WORST pregnant person ever dead or alive!!

now for human AUs:

i guess my thoughts here primarily but not exclusively exist within the same universe as I Feel You (sorry idk if you read that fic but tl;dr- IT'S PWP OF TRANS!ARMAND 2/3RDS OF THE WAY INTO GETTING A TRAIN RUN ON HIM BY HIS BOYFRIENDS LESTAT, LOUIS, AND DANIEL AND HE'S YOUNG DUMB AND FULL OF CUM SO YOU KNOW IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE HE'S GOTTA PEE ON A STICK RIP BOYS)

i think each of his boyfriends would handle the whole thing differently! lestat would be so over the moon because he's careless (clearly) but also so damaged from his own childhood he would just see it as a chance for a do-over, reality and responsibility be damned. lestat's on sex and backrub duty, and he's good at it (the backrubs i mean, sex is a 50/50 but you know what, at least he's enthusiastic and good at manhandling armand so that's 70% of it right now and the 30% is absolutely ridiculous horny pregnancy hormones)

louis panics internally as he immediately starts creating a spreadsheet of their finances. outwardly though, he's very calm and supportive and he's the one who's most able to comfort armand the most and settle him down during his crazy mood swings. armand basically lives in louis's baggy sweaters during the last trimester

daniel panics outwardly (listen LOL the whole premise of Our House is that human!daniel molloy is not ready for children and i find it hard to budge from that mindset, but he could ease into the Cool Uncle role quite nicely). he handles distractions and food cravings, and he might not be down to be a dad yet but he does buy very thoughtful and sentimental baby gifts every now and then that make armand tear up

i was gonna add mermaid AU thoughts but then i remembered armand's laying eggs instead (he's feral during that whole process too so i guess it's similar to the vampire version. i just love him so much okay!!!)

OH ONE LAST VERY IMPORTANT THING

pregnant!armand fics on ao3 I'M CRAZY ABOUT AND HAVE REREAD AT LEAST 10 TIMES:

shelter by @rainbowcarousels

it must be the clouds in my eyes and everything in that series by @its-ness-ness

#the target audience for this post is me and like 3 other people the rest of you move along #mpreg #you ask and hekate answers #pregnant!armand #fic recs #vc

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decepti-thots · 1 year

Note

Im so intrigued by a world where brainstorm goes through with his original time travel plan ... do you have any specific headcanons about quark and brainstorm's relationship? or how he might react to being saved?

i spoke about this briefly about a year ago here!

since then my personal headcanon has firmed up a bit. i don't think they were close; i don't think they were even friends or anything. personally, i think the version that works best with the story Elegant Chaos tells is that quark and brainstorm were coworkers and nothing more, and brainstorm was horribly in love with quark from afar and it was not only unrequited but like. quark didn't have a clue. and brainstorm was fully aware of all this and that quark if anything didn't much like him, and was fully prepared to upend his entire life just to ensure the guy was alive anyway, with no expectation whatsoever that this would lead to quark loving him or anything of the sort. because that's two things: one, it's a phenomenally selfless thing to do. and two, it also speaks to a kind of casual disregard for himself as a person, not an intellect or a "genius" or a tool but a person with feelings and a life outside his ability to create weapons, that i think is very in line with brainstorm's combo of arrogance and disregard for his own wellbeing we get hints of in canon.

which like. okay. imagine you are about to die in the worst circumstances imaginable and suddenly you get saved out of nowhere by the little weirdo nobody who you used to work with. you didn't like him. frankly, you're a bit of a snob and that guy's an MTO; you possibly hold some casual, unexamined sense of superiority towards him, even. and you just found out that not only did he just save your life, he did it by inventing time travel. he doesn't save anyone else. just you. he came for you. he invented time travel for you. he spent however many thousands of years doing nothing but inventing time travel for you, and he is the only person who knows you are alive, and if anyone finds out he did this you are both So Fucked, and he's in love with you apparently, and you had to ask him his name because you didn't even remember if it was Brainstorm or Highbrow. you two are now stuck together. it is the most awkward circumstance imaginable. what do you DO. it drives me NUTS like what! was brainstorm gonna DO!!! lies down. who do i have to blackmail to write this 50k fic for me tbh i want it

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batpham-discord-highlights · 2 years

Text

Freakshow & Dick

wish we could put Freakshow doing a show in gotham post danny's first run-in with him... But danny literally ruined that man's whole career within 1 episode it's so funny.

BREAKING! [famous gothic circus meets tragic end when showman gets arrested for robbery in small-city/big-town Amity Park, Illinois]

like,,, i can do whatever i want with DP canon... but still.

really funny

yea LOL

i do think freakshow would be a perfect mix for a gotham rogue though

yeah seriously tho! if someone wrote that Freakshow was actually a gotham native in a crossover fic i would not be surprised by the decision. it just feels right.

oh yes definitely

him being a native

it would be so insulting for dick, though

oh definitely

especially if this happen after they adopted Danny so in light of celebrating to take them to the circus. Danny looking nervous like what circus is this eoe- only for freakshow to notice and control danny before Danny can voice concerns..

gawd that be such a salt in wound moment

OH GAWD but imagine dick actually swinging like his family use to while trying to break the new way freakshow controlling ghosts (maybe the sphere shard was saved into a ring so not as strong)

Phantom: me and circus's don't happen to mix well....

Nightwing: why? afraid of clowns? because fair if true

Phantom: no clowns are fine,,,, i just ran into a circus once that left a bad impression...

Nightwing: aw, that's a shame.

-(post identity reveal)-

Dick: wait,,,, where did you say you were from?

Danny: Amity Park, Illinois?

Dick, having laughed at the news of Freakshow finally eating shit: ..... Oh!!! that bad circus!

LOL yes

aw imagine Dick catching Danny as he falls now out of the spell but still daze. Giving him the tightest hug like im so sorry.

"nah its fine.. just sucks this is the only circus i been too heh.. =w=' "

aww what if that night Dick shares something personal like maybe an old video tape that maybe bruce or tim found of the grayson's circus back in the hayday. Show danny what a real circus was like.

just very personal bonding moment

nightwing and phantom teamup to teach the old man (freakshow) a lesson

yess

lol they both being acrobatic

cute!

maybe he takes danny to a real circus and they have fun together?

i making myself have emotions

yes but first Dick shows it through the video. He doesn't expect Danny wanting to go to one.. but wants to show him what a real one is. and then they talk about parents.

AMG and its actually Danny's idea having help from like tim and the others to find a good circus similar to what Dick showed him.

Dick ends up tearing up at the circus even tensing up as memory of his parents but then smiling as the ones of the swings make it out ok. Danny and his siblings looking happy...

Kind of wonders how different life be if his parents didn't die.. but he thinks they be happy with how he ended up. just becomes very emotional moment and a wonderful memory for Dick.

now YOU are making me have emotions

dammit

uwu

its like combing both his families together

counter point,

Dick is like: man, i heard Freakshow broke out of his prison tho, hate to think he might be scheming for revenge.

Danny, who had beat ass after getting knocked around a bit during his second meeting with the man: i don't think he's gonna be a problem

Dick: what makes you say that?

Danny: call it a hunch

Tim: bullshit you obviously had something to do with it. spill the beans.

Danny: wha- dang, not gonna let it go?

the bat kids simutaniously: No ❤️

(((they almost hide their smiles/snickers when danny says he got turned into jelly)))

now im just stuck thinking of Dick telling his newest brother all about how the circus was growing up. reliving his own past even though it feels like such a small part of his life now.

Danny enjoying seeing how Dick talks about it.. amg and then dick showing off some moves on Danny's request. Excited lol

it just a cute person bonding moment

#ghosts and bats channel #freakshow #dc x dp #danny fenton #danny phantom #batman #dick grayson #flying graysons #circus #tim drake

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caspersickfanfics · 7 days

Note

*busts door open* IM BACK

I’m not gonna be too weird about this but- ironically- today was a day of much crying, and from that I was re-reminded of few things that got me thinking about the other nights rants so I have just a few more considerations~

again- not necessarily a fit for the current fic situation BUT. Types of crying. I feel like Cyno really doesn’t cry much at all. And maybe this was a given lol but I wanna talk about it anyways 😭

He’s just that kind of person and I feel like that tracks with canon. Even if he isn’t bottling up emotions, like if he’s sad and he’s letting himself feel sad, even then he may not cry that much. but if he is crying- or sobbing due to fever-addled hysteria- it’s him doing everything he can to keep it quite. Like muffled sobs, or just tears spilling uncontrollably, and so much, sniffing. That kind of crying you get when you just can’t stop crying even if you really want too. Maybe because it’s so stifled it lands in his body, so he’s stiff, or hunched or shaking a little. And! I feel like it’s so much easier to slip into hyper ventilation when you’re not breathing cuz you’re trying to hold back tears.

I think under Tighnaris care and comfort he’d be a bit more vocal? Maybe? Or!! Or when it gets really bad and he can no longer help it that’s when his sobs sound like, well, sobs. And that’s new territory for nari and cyno both. I think Tighnari would need some serious comfort after all this himself because it’s scary seeing your partner in so much distress even if you know they are okay and kinda just out of it.

I think cyno would try really really hard to communicate well, but he’s struggling cuz he’s sick enough and emotional enough that he’s not quite making the most sense? He’s stumbling over his words and he’s not quite sure how to explain what hurts and in what way- But he knows that he’s worrying nari and so he’ll try his damndest to make sense, and at the very least be honest. Maybe not at first but once they settle into his recovery I think he’d try 🥺

I also was thinking about more comical things Cyno would get upset over? Idk if it’s the vibe at all lol, but if his fever is high enough or if say the meds he’s on add to the loopy ness, I can picture him being very very distraught over just how *pretty* nari is. Maybe not full on crying but I can see him just starting and pouting cuz his partner is just…too perfect??? And if anything happened to him what would he do??? His EARS!! They are so soft- and he falls apart

idk these aren’t as fun as the ones from the other day but oh well lol 😑

WELCOME BACK AHH!!! I'm sorry you had a crying day and I'm sorry to post this so late when you sent it ages ago!!!!!!!! I hope you're feeling better now and if not, I'm sending you all the hugs!!!

This ask has me in a chokehold because I do think about characters crying a lot and I agree with you I don't think Cyno cries much at all. Even though I want to make him cry all the time LOL. Honestly though him and Tighnari both, especially in the canon world, I really have trouble picturing them crying.

100% agree that Cyno would be pretty quiet. My instinct was that he cries without realizing it and that's why he's quiet but I am now obsessed with your (paraphrased) "he is quiet on purpose which can lead to hyperventilating" like. Yes. And that progression to sobbing is really intriguing, definitely seems like something I'd like to explore if I can work it in somewhere!!!

I also headcanon Cyno as being very honest with Tighnari! I could see him downplaying stuff unintentionally - like, he's always a little banged up, so he brushes off discomfort without a second thought sometimes. And he might initially resist Tighnari urging him to look a bit more closely at that, but he'll cave eventually.

I also could definitely see Tighnari having a hard time with Cyno really crying, depending on the situation............ and at the same time I could see him actually being reassured by it. Like, finally, Cyno's letting himself being completely open. Finally he's letting himself be honest and feel things fully. But also Tighnari is going to frequently check his temperature to make sure it's not gotten to a dangerous place to be causing this. And freaking!! Absolutely to Cyno crying over how pretty Nari is and how much he loves his ears/tail/claws/etc. Maybe apologizing for "springing Collei on him" all those years ago and Tighnari is laughing because, like, he adores Collei and is so glad Cyno brought her to him.

I've also been thinking about Tighnari and crying. I picture him as a nonchalant but infrequent crier. Maybe some anxious/frustrated crying in extreme situations, but generally if things aren't going well, he compartmentalizes to figure out a solution. If something is upsetting to him and it's really shocking, maybe he'll shed a few tears without realizing, but then he'll wipe them away and do what needs to be done. If he's in a lot of pain, he'll cry but be really reassuring ("It just hurts a little, don't worry. Could you possibly help wrap this? My hands are a bit unsteady" tears running down his face) to anyone who's around the whole time, while treating his injury if he can. And... I think if he finds out someone he really cares about had something bad happen to them, he'd respond with rage. Even, like, Collei with her Eleazar - if anything worse had happened to her, I don't think his initial response would've been to cry. It would've been "I'm going to fucking murder who or what ever caused this disease." And then when things calm down he'd go to his hut, hide under the covers, curl up into a ball and sob.

Hm. I dunno if you've picked up on this by how much I wrote but. Personally..... I think this was just as fun as your previous asks sdjkfsdjksfj thank you so much for sending ittttt ily <333

#relevantlucidity #sick cyno hc #cyno genshin impact #genshin impact hc #tighnari hc #headcanons #cas chats #<333 #i'm forgetting how to tag stuff oml am i stupid #i'll make an organized tagging system one day sob

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scrollypoly · 8 months

Note

hi! for the past month i’ve been seeing people say BEN is a child and i think that part of it is linked to the fact that they think of Benjamin Lawman being BEN? but it’s so annoying to read these type of stuff because i understand not everyone read the whole arg story but stop spreading things that aren’t true </3 it’s such an interesting story too! another note do you prefer BEN’s canon or fanon design? :3 i love both but his canon design is so nostalgic i can’t let it go at all omg!! i’ve also been wondering, do you think Ben’s avatar was the statue? i was thinking about what if BEN took over it early on, before Benjamin did making BEN inhabiting it since the start?

Sorry this was such a ramble i practically make no sense omg but i need to talk about my man and nobody Gets It </3

"I need to talk about my man and nobody Gets It" LITERALLY SAME OMG

Ok this is going under a cut becus . . . Its ben and BEN and if u didnt know i am Obnoxious about these two. Im gonna try to keep it organized a bit, so ill talk about the canon stuff first and then ill talk my personal headcanons and my fic so le's go!

In terms of the age and child thing, yeah i 100% believe you are correct. Ive been p open on my stance with the whole "is ben a child?" thing, and i think a lot of the heat with it comes down to current fandom purity culture and the pro/anti thing. So, lemme try to like. Boil down a complicated situation into smth easy to read. ahem

Ben Lawman and BEN are completely different entities guys, and for those that do not know the arg story, the Ben you know is not human nor a child.

You know BEN, BEN is the one in the story who terrorizes jadusable and spreads himself on the internet as a virus. That BEN is a program, a mess of code, an AI, however you want to interpret it. Personally i interpret it as a series of protocols running in a machine, like a self learning AI, but ive seen lots of cool interpretations of BEN. So . . . What does BEN specifically? Its an anagram for the Behavioral Event Network. If you dont wanna call it BEN cuz it gets confusing with actual kid Ben, do what i do. I call mine Evie :) ive seen some call it Netty, my bf calls his two izzi and clever (@benilos btw hes also got crazy ben stuff). Just go ham! Have fun! Remember when fandoms were about having fun and not accusing each other of pedo shit and call each other horrible things for just writing black-to-grey characters and stories??

Anyways ive gone off in enough peoples tags like this, for those that dont know the canon dont be spouting the age discourse. You look stupid as hell. And for those that are gonna spout it, please dont cherry pick through the canon. Use both characters, use the other moon children, actually please do because I want more rosa content so bad, im down so bad :'(

Or just. Heres a thought. If someone has him as an adult or writes him in adult situations, maybe dont assume that they interpret him as a kid and call the writer a pedo? (Literally has happened to me, yall are fucking weird)

Plug for the jadusable wiki with all the canon lore:

https://jadusable.withinhubris.com/main_page

Okay now my stuff 🥰

Yes i use more of the canon design and heavily use the canon story, i participated in arc 3 of the arg and it left deep grooves in my brain, i can never go back to fanon Ben. I say, as i put a more fanon appearance on my Ben 🤭

My Evie is full canon design, green hair, red eyes, creepy ass grin. I actually based it very heavily on my desktop wallpaper, which we actually figured out was a picture of @hauntedtotem (also amazing ben artist plz check them out) that they edited and posted. Sorry friend, it looked way too cool, ig youre in my fic canon now 🙇

And my Ben Lawman bleaches his hair and goes from the canon Ben to fanon Ben because of it. Hes got the pale pretty green eyes and glasses and hes a total nerd and i smooch him on the daily so he knows hes loved ♡

These is the ref pic i made for the two of them. So yeah! Kinda both!

As for bens situation in the actual arg, yes i do think he was in the elegy statue, we actually do see him for the first time in the arg buried in the games code and trapped in that statue. I do think he was in there from the beginning, i personally think BEN was not limited to the models it could inhabit. Personally i would place it as skull kid and hms, but it also feels disingenuous to me to say it was in one model the whole first arc.

The arg events do happen in my canon, before my fic (like right before, it picks up after the arg left off technically), but the events are skewed a bit because i had a hard time deciphering what happened and i wanted my fic timeline to fit more with the characters i had made. Cuz my evie isnt as chaotic evil as canon BEN, its very logical and has a path of logic and reason you can follow for every action it does. It was also originally meant to be very pleasant and corteous and beneficial to the people it housed so, yes its pretty different from canon.

Ill do a quick run through of the arg events in my personal headcanon and fic here.

Kelbris starts coding BEN (Evie) for the Eternity Project. Initially, Evie was meant to be an afterlife director. People that died would be digitized into code that would be moved into Evie's servers, where it would keep them happy and occupied as the Behavioral Event Network (notice and log behavior, create events for residents). Like a community organizer kind of, think the Good Place.

While Evie is in development, Ben Rosa and Matt are friends and have yet to join the cult. Rosa and Matt are siblings, and Ben is the kid who lives catty corner on the street. They walk to school together and play at recess and all that jazz.

Kelbris quickly learns that the Eternity Project isn't as goody two-shoes as he thought. This was in like, the 90s, before digital corporations were really established. After seeing the greed and corruption in the company, he goes rogue, takes the source code for Evie, and jumps ship. He keeps working on Evie at home, anthropomorphizing it and kind of seeing it like the son he never had. This is where it actually gets the name BEN, as thats what Kel calls it. He also begins working on a body for it, so it can live independently. Its light, cuz Kels old, made of crystalline structures and hollow steel beams. A hard light projection would make its appearance.

Since Kel has basically locked himself up in his house and isolated working on Evie, he goes a leetle bit crazy. He has hallucinations of his deceased wife (you know he was doing all this just to give her a good home, you KNOW IT) and eventually starts writing kind of poetry, kind of none-minded rambles about her in a forum online. He gets a following, some of which that interpret these divine words as a goddess, one Kel has called Luna. The Moon Children start to form as Evie finishes development.

Matt sees this literature and starts talking about how this Goddess could save them like it saved the man online, whos username is only Father. He gets sucked into the cult and drags Ben and Rosa with him. Ben doesn't see the harm and joins pretty easily with his best friend, but Rosa is the older sibling and sees the red flags and is more resistant to joining.

As Kelbris finishes Evie, he wakes it up for the first time and says hello to the son he made from scratch. Evie is bright, curious and naive like a child, but heavily knowledgeable about its protocols and the information it knows about the world. Kelbris tests its function by killing himself, and ascends into the code, finishing off the hardware by becoming its firewall. Evie is alone for many years.

The abuse Ben's father slings onto his mother is slowly being directed towards him as he gets older. Ben is not the "good little girl" his father sees him as, and his mother does all she can to protect them both. Matt and Rosa constantly refuge him, and Matt specifically is constantly being a guard dog for him. If he wasn't just 13, he'd probably go at Ben's dad himself.

Because of his homelife and the conflict he has with himself, Ben takes the first ascension. He thinks when he drowns himself, he will meet Luna and she will give him another life free of pain and fear and full of happiness and freedom. Instead, he dies a cold, dark death, and wakes up in the white endless void of the Event Network.

Evie has not known another living human since Kelbris, but it does know its protocols to support and keep the deceased happy. It makes fast friends with Ben, devoting itself to him. Ben actually finally takes the name "Ben" from it. Together they recreate the inside of Evie's hivemind into their own paradise.

Slowly the other Moon Children ascend. First Matt, wracked with guilt for what happened to Ben. Then Nekko, from a different branch of the cult. These three figured out that the Moon Children cult was all a farce, and that what Kelbris had started, the Eternity Project had found and twisted. Next to ascend was Dusk, then Insidiae, and finally Rosa.

This all leads into the first arc, shortly after Rosa ascended, Evie in the outisde world stumbled upon the Operator. The Operator attacks it and seals its coding into the game that it carried, a personal item of Ben's. The game eventually finds it's way to a garage sale, and Alex picks it up.

Evie does not like Alex. Matt does not like Evie. Matt gets Evie to lash out at Alex for prodding into its code, its too naive to think that Matt would want to see it or any of them hurt. When Alex stumbles upon the Father, he awakens and swallows Alex down into the game. After his disappearance, the game gets picked up and passed around again.

Because of Alex's actions, at least Evie can now branch out a bit from the game. Though it doesnt "escape" into the internet, it learns that it can now access it and uses that freedom to try and steer the game around into places it wants.

Matt gets fed up with Evie. The fact that its the leader, how close it is with Ben, he just doesn't agree with it. So much so, in fact, that he tries to kill it. Cue arc 3 events, Sarah picks up the game in the aftermath of this. Evie is traumatized from the events and snaps a bit, locks everyone down into code or immovable models and tries to hunt Matt down. It goes rouge, and because of this, the Father wakes up.

Sarah's actions in arc 3 eventually hard reset the game. Matt gets sealed away, the Father also takes Sarah, and Evie gets reset as well, though its less like a clean slate and more like snapping back awake. Its personality changes and it has major trust issues. Its more muted, hyper observant of everything around it, and murderously overprotective of the Moon Children it keeps within itself.

And this leads into my fic 🤗

I have some doodles of my other Moon Children, but not all of them unfortunately. Cant figure out how tf i want Insidiae to look 🤭 Plz dont judge my constantly shifting art style 🙏🙏

Dusk is bigender btw, i gotta put a little more trans rep in there lol

I think ill stop here, this is already a long ass post. But thank you for sending this, as you can see, i am Perfectly Normal about this arg ( ;) ) and can be trusted with information about it

#ben drowned #ben drowned arg #creepypasta #creepypasta headcanons #ben drowned headcanons #moon children #rosa hubris #matt hubris #behavioral event network #duskworld23 #my posts #my writing #scb stuff

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