New hema jacket patches what up
Edit: I added photos of the other side (plus me wearing it) as a rb, fyi to y’all
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petition to make cishetallo the norm instead of just cishet please
edit: badly phrased post, apparently. my point is when referring to non-queer people, if you're not going to say non-queer, put an 'allo' somewhere in there. where you put it does not matter.
edit 2: the 'het' does not exclude ace people. demisexual homosexual: someone who only feels attraction to people of the same gender after they have formed an emotional connection.
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welcome home pls let me out I have a family (wh doodle duuump!!!!! ^_^)
and ofc the sillies,,
(this last one is technically a reupload but I wanted it to be with other stuff aswell it felt weird as a solo post)
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it is hard to explain without sounding vain or stupid - but the more attractive others find you, the more you're allowed to do. the easier your life is.
i have been on both sides of this. i am queer and cuban. i grew up poor. for a long time i didn't know "how" to dress - and i still don't. i make my sister pick out any important outfits. i have adhd in spades: i was never "cool and quiet", i was the weird kid who didn't understand how "normal" people behave. i was bullied so hard that the "social outcasts" wouldn't even talk to me.
i got my teeth straightened. i cut my hair and learned how to style it. i got into makeup. it didn't matter, at first, if i actually liked what i was doing - it mattered how people responded to it. like a magic trick; the right dress and winged eyeliner and suddenly i was no longer too weird for all of it. i could wear the ugly pokemon shirt and it was just "ironic" or a "cute interest."
when i am seen as pretty, people listen. they laugh at my jokes. they allow me to be weird and a little spacey. i can trust that if i need something, people will generally help me. privilege suddenly rushes in: pretty does buy things. pretty people get treated more gently.
i am the same ugly little girl, is the thing. still odd. still not-quite-fitting-in. still scrambling. still angry and afraid and full of bad things. of course it became my obsession. of course i stopped eating. i had seen, in real time, the exact way it could change my life - simply always be perfect, and things can be easy. people will "overlook" all the other things. i used to have panic attacks at the idea others would see me without makeup - what would they think? even for a simple friend hangout, i'd spend a few hours getting ready. after all, it seemed so obvious to me: these people liked me because i was pretty.
i worry about how much i'm being a bad activist: i understand that "pretty" is determined by white, het, cis, able-bodied hegemonies. if i was really an ally, wouldn't i rally against all of this? recently there's been a "clean girl" trend which copies latinx aesthetics: dark slicked-back hair, hoop earrings. i almost never wear my hair like that; i can hear the middle school guidance counsellor advising me that i might fare better if i toned it down on the culture.
the problem is that i can take pretty on and off. that i have seen how different my life is on a day where i try and a day where i don't. i told my therapist i want to believe the difference is confidence, but it's not. and when you have seen it, you can't unsee it. it lives inside your brain. it rots there; taunting. i get rewarded for following the rules. i am punished for breaking them. end of story.
pretty people can get what they want. pretty people can feel confident without others asking where they got their nerve from. pretty people can be weird and different. pretty people get to have emotions; it's different when they get aggressive, it's pretty when they cry with frustration.
of course people care about this. of course it has crawled into you. of course you want to be seen as attractive. it's not vanity: it's self-preservation.
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Idk if there is anyone out there who needs to hear this but:
If you’re having issues with your gender, sexuality, or just identity in general… it’s ok. It’s okay to discover yourself, it’s okay to change, and it’s ok to be comfortable with who you are now. Everyone goes on their own journey at some point, you should embrace yours. If you ever worry it’s “just a phase”, that is okay. You are allowed to try new things and experiment, you are allowed to realize if what you thought about yourself wasn’t true. You are allowed to grow and you’re allowed to change.
From, An AroAce Agender person who thought they were a Straight Girl, A Gay Transmasc, A Bisexual Genderfaun, An Asexual Biromantic Demiboy, and many more.
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btw if you remove people of colour, fat people and disabled people from queer history youve removed so much that you can barely even call it history anymore.
disabled queer people have always been here. non-white queer people have always been here. fat queer people have always been here. you cannot erase ANY of us without erasing a huge part of queer history.
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