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amoristt · 3 years

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Grazing the Fire | IV

well hello. here i am, four years later, once again enamored with nathan enough to finally dust this baby off and pick up where i left it. im a little rusty so bear with me this chapter! much more to come <3

reblogs + tags and replies will make my entire day as i put a lot of effort into this :)! it also helps motivate me!

story continues beneath the read more. let me know if you can’t access it!

Warning: language, very vague s/a mentions

want to support me? heres my kofi!

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“Alright class, who can tell me,” A board stick clacks against the chalkboard. “Who can answer problem four?”

A few hands raise in the corners of your eye, but yours remains atop your desk. Eyes far away, mind in a murky haze and almost completely unaware. All you could focus on were the memories playing on repeat within the confines of your tired, tired brain. Hours ago, you were warm, you were comfortable. Safe.

Cheeks heated to a dusting blush when you remind yourself just how you had awoken that morning. At some point in the night, an angel had blessed you. Allowed you to wake up wrapped around none other than big, bad, Nathan Prescott. Your face nuzzled into his chest, broad but wiry hands pressed firmly over your shoulder and his arm slung over your waist to keep you against him. Thankfully you had been the first to wake up, blinking away the morning sun blazing through his blinds and painting the room stripes of gold. At that moment, before your headache came crashing down onto your skull, you were astounded by him.

Eye lashes brushing the top of his cheeks, his lips parted ever so slightly, chest rising and falling rhythmically. In that moment, there was no anger, no bitterness. Just a soft and peaceful slumber. It was like being the sole viewer of a magnificent painting- each stroke and detail placed just there just for you to pick out, to remember the curves and sharp edges down to the very foundation. From his unkempt hair down to the way his hand flattened onto the mattress where your indent still lived. Nathan was so beautiful like this.

For a long time you stayed there. It was as though you were afraid to move- you couldn’t bear to disturb him. You had wondered, if he was always like this, so at peace, what would he be like? Likely soft voiced, mild mannered. He’d do his school assignments without hassle and donate to the charity board. He would wander the town with his friends and listen to music in a beat up truck flying down the stretch of highway overlooking the bold, blue, and beautiful ocean. An entirely different version of himself- carefree, and a fair blue as opposed to a burning flame of red.

But, if that were the case, you’d never have gotten here. You’d never been both the outsider, and the only seeing eye. A lucky, albeit firstly unwilling witness to the display of depth before you.

It never hit you like it had quite in that moment how lucky you were.

But- just then- an alarm disturbed what serendipity existed. You nearly leapt out of your skin, clutched your hands to your chest at the sudden sound. A headache wove its way into your once untouched temples. Nathan groaned, mumbled, ‘god damn it’, under his breath, and thus his body was reanimated into life. He rubbed his eyes and he stretched, that familiar scowl coming over his eyes and lips as he took in the sunlight damn near blinding him. A polar opposite to the being you’d appreciated just moments earlier.

“Ugh, fuck, how the fuck is it seven already.” He groaned. “I feel like shit.”

“Well good morning to you too,” You started, welcoming Nathan into the world. “‘I’m feeling pretty shitty as well.”

You said that, but really… You were more than alright. Your head had hurt, slight nausea crept into the wells of your stomach, but other than that you’re sure you were phenomenally better than you’d have been waking up whereverTate would have left your ass.

“You need to get outta here, before everyone gets up.” Nathan drawled, but he didn’t sound as urgent as you expected him to be. You’d expected him to be angry that you were still in his room, but instead he just… accepted it.

You snickered, climbing out of his throne of a bed. “Wow, you’re giving me the morning after treatment?”

“Sure am. Get outta here, whore.”

“Oh fuck you.”

You located your heels from last night, resting upright near his dorm room door. Heels didn’t sound like the most practical to sneak out of a dorm with, so you instead opted to grappling them by the straps and carrying them at your side. Hair a mess, outfit riddled with wrinkles and makeup smudged under your eyes, you stood before Nathan in all your glory. He stared at you for a long, odd moment- and you for some reason felt exposed, or even, shy.

“What?” You ask expectantly, placing a hand on your hip.

His eyes trail to your line of vision. He shakes his head. “Just thinking about how now you really do look like my morning after.”

“Yeah?” You hummed. “Find it hard to believe you get a lot of those.”

Nathan shoots you a suggestive glance. “You’d be surprised. Everyone wants a piece of Prescott.”

Surely, he was joking, or maybe he wasn’t, but you… Didn’t like hearing that. It made your stomach feel odd, uncomfortably heavy. As he stood up, reminding you how many inches he had over your size, you swallowed and cleared your throat to flush out that crappy feeling. “Well,” you started, mood having dropped. “I’m gonna go, then.”

“What got your panties in a twist all the sudden?” He asked, raising a brow and pulling some clothes from his closet, tossing them onto the bed.

The bed you two had shared.

You hated the idea of his morning afters- whoever they may be.

“Not feeling great. Probably a side effect of the roofies.” You mumbled.

Nathan breathed a laugh. “Probably.”

He seemed so calm, right now. Perhaps due to it being so early, before the outside world had a chance to remind him just why he was so uptight all the tight. Before he needed to be so uptight all the time. He really did have so many versions of himself- all of whom you were slowly becoming familiar with. Compared to the person you’d believed him to be before your run ins, you’d never have assumed someone so dangerous could be so soft as last night, as this morning. In the beginning, you’d feared him. Avoided him like a plague, or a wild animal. Even when you were enraptured in the existence of him, you still wanted to keep away. You’d never have believed someone like you could wake up clutched to his chest, as though he were afraid if he released you, you’d be gone long before he woke.

Then, a sudden thought struck your mind.

He’d held you so tight. He’d welcomed you in the morning. No anger, no annoyance. His soft laugh at your banter and taunts. How your heels were standing upright instead of tossed haphazardly into some random corner, where he’d watch your struggle to find.

How he’d stayed awake to ensure your sleep.

“So are you just gonna stand there?” Nathan called you back to reality, hands gripping the hems of his shirt. “I gotta get ready and you need to wash up so you don’t look like a five dollar stripper.” Cruel words, but with absolutely no bite. You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah. But, hey,” You started. “Thank you for last night.”

“Yeah, yeah. You gotta start learning to watch your own back.” He says. “There’s gonna be times I won’t be there to drag your ass out of the fire.”

If you’d been charged, if you’d been stricken with a strange defensiveness, you’d have retorted, ‘than stop helping me’, but… Instead you allowed yourself the comfort of protection. You allowed Nathan Prescott to watch you.

“I know,” You reached for the door. “Thank you.”

With that, you bounded out of the dorm silent as a mouse.

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In hindsight, you should have left earlier. Class was merely 15 minutes away when you slipped out of Nathan's room and bounded towards the women's dorm. Albeit not exactly a long walk, by the time you discreetly snuck back into your own dorm, you had roughly twenty minutes to somehow pick an outfit from your countless unopened boxes and make yourself even slightly presentable.

Wiping off whatever make-up you could get and reapplying it, brushing out the tangles of your hair and nearly tearing off your scalp in the process, scattering your nightclothes over your floor and managing to scrounge out a semi-decent outfit for the day… You still looked a mess. If the mirror could laugh, it would have. Black mascara smudges under your eyes and frizzy untreated hair. What a lovely look.

You’d made it to class just five minutes late, but those five minutes were all it took for all eyes to be on you as you tried to slide into the classroom unnoticed. A couple classmates whispered to their table mates as you passed by, smelling of oversaturated cherry blossom perfume to hopefully cover the scent of alcohol. You sauntered to your seat and sank down with all your weight, suddenly exhausted. You’d made it with just five minutes tainting your record of attendance. The teacher greeted you with a disappointed sigh, and thus, the day began.

But, it was so hard to focus. All you could think about was Nathan.

“Alright class, who can tell me,” A board stick clacks against the chalkboard. “Who can answer problem four?”

You lowered your head.

“Ah, how about, ___?”

You snaked back into reality, blinking up at the chalk board that was somehow already riddled with math equations. Since you hadn’t been paying attention even in the slightest, your mouth gaped wide open, eyes scanning for something you understood even slightly so you didn’t look like a total idiot.

Sadly, you were out of luck. The teacher shook his head. “I’m shocked,” He said. “You're normally so on top of things. Oh well.”

“Oh, I’m sure she was on top of things,” A female voice sniggered behind you “Last night.”

Your face flushed a red, hot, ruby. What the hell was she talking about? How had they found out you were with Nathan? You were so sure of being sneaky, there was no way-

“Her and Tate totally got it on last night.”

You whipped around in your seat, facing girls who looked to be clones of some sort. Both with the same dark eyes, short brown hair, and freckles. “What?”

“Alright-” Your teacher blurted. “That's enough. April, May, enough. Let’s not discuss things outside of the classroom.”

The two girls batted their eyes. “Sorry sir.” One spoke, twirling a hand through her hair. Her sister's wide toothy grin never fumbled.

“Back to it then. Kate, can you help out __ with number four?”

The small, blonde girl nodded quickly, brushing a lock of hair behind her eyes and offering an empathic nod.

As you turned around in your seat, her answer fell on deaf ears. Your heart was racing in your chest, hands balled into fists while you stared ahead blankly.

They couldn’t seriously think that you chose to leave with Tate, could they? Surely someone must have seen the state you were in. Someone other than Nathan.

The clock ticks forward but time feels like it's passing almost unnaturally slow. With just 10 minutes left, you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket.

‘Nathan: consider ur favor officially returned

Your tongue poked from your lips, the tiniest of smiles taking over your once sullen features. Terrible thoughts and worries flew out the window while you type back, ‘damn. here i was gonna to ask you to do a backflip off the roof with me. there goes my plans.’

Nathan types for a moment. Typing, stopping, typing again.

‘Nathan: soundz like a blast. where and when?’

A small blush heats your cheeks. ‘very funny. thanks to last night i have an entire 24 hour session of studying to catch up with.’

His response is almost instant. ‘Nathan: boringgg. txt me when ur fun.’

Rolling your eyes, you shove your phone back into your pocket. It seems you’ve been able to secure enough of a friendship with him for some mindless banter even outside your little visits. You smile. He’s… Fun to talk to. Surprisingly.

Class comes to an end and you start to pack up the books and papers you’d hardly even glanced at the whole period. Whatever had been upsetting you before is lost in your mind while you think of the morning, the night before. All the things in-between. But, your happiness doesn’t last long. As you get up, you’re almost forced right back into your seat as a weight shoves into your shoulder. Your books scatter to the floor. April, the one who’d remarked about you earlier, glares at you in what looks to be disgust.

“Careful April,” Her sister hums as she saunters past you, keeping distance and raising her already shrill tone of voice. “Might wanna watch where you’re walking- I’d hate for you to catch something from this slut.”

You absolutely gawk at her. “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

April scoffs. “Oh come on, like everyone doesn’t know what you were up to last night.”

“Sleeping around isn’t a good color on you.” May hikes her bag over her shoulder and snickers at you. They both leave the class together, sickeningly in sync. You’re left stunned where you stand, unsure how the hell your life came to this so quickly. How you’ve stooped so low that the daughters of the world's most uncreative parents are able to bully you based on something that didn’t even happen.

Next class goes no better. The person to your right, a jockey looking brunette guy, asks, ‘have you ever heard of a Tate?’. You say no, that that’s the dumbest name you’ve ever heard. The idiot grins and goes back to marking down likely wrong answers on his test sheet and you debate kicking the leg of his chair out- but you don’t to avoid even more eyes on you. It makes you sick to your stomach- even more than recovering from the roofies does. How can everyone believe it? You barely even knew the guy and you were clearly uncomfortable with his advances. No one saw that?

After everything you’d worked for to build a reputation, trying so hard to not call out peoples shit for the sake of seeming friendly, tainted over something that didn’t even happen? And the kicker was that it hadn’t even been your fault! He’d drugged you, he’d have taken advantage of you! Yet you were the bad person?

Class came and went in the blink of an eye this time. Your mind wrapped up in the situation, your stomach churning. You wanted the day to be over with but you still had 4 more classes to suffer through. Why was this happening to you? Was Tate being treated just as horribly, or was he getting pats on the backs of his unaware friends?

Wandering down the halls to your locker, you noticed Lance and Kaz hanging around one of the drinking fountains. Your nerves quelled- your friends would surely make you feel much better. Especially since they had witnessed how awful you were feeling as you left. You approach with a relieved smile, ready to say your truth and finally have someone on your side.

“Hey guys.” You smile, but Lance looks down at his feet while Kaz places her hands to his hips. Your smile fades.

“You could have told us you were gonna spend the night with Tate,” Kaz snaps. “You didn’t need to lie like that just to leave. We were all worried about you and it was for nothing.”

“What?” You feel like you could cry. “No, Kaz, I really did try to leave. Tate tried to drug me and take me home, and-”

“He wouldn’t do that.” Lance interrupts, with a frown. He looks back down at the floor with knitted brows. “I’ve known Tate since before time. He wouldn't do something like that, especially not to one of my best friends. Plus he told me he was really into you. Why would he even try?”

“Are you serious?” You sputter. “You think I’d lie about something like that?”

“You’ve been lying about all sorts of things!” Kaz huffs. “What’s going on with you lately? You’ve been so distant, and secretive. What are you hiding that’s making you lie like this? We’re supposed to be your friends and then you lie to our faces just to go and fuck the first guy that shows you attention.”

“What…?” It was like acid. It was like the rug had been pulled from your feet sending you spiraling down the unending cliff. Kaz, your best friend, all that venom. How could they turn against you like this? What the hell is going on? You felt your throat tighten. “Look, I’m sorry if I’ve been distant, but I’m not lying to you, I-”

“We gotta go.” Lance isn’t in the mood to hear it. “We’ll catch up to you.. Some other time.”

Kaz says nothing as she pushes past you. Lance, at least, spares a short glance over his shoulder. You stood there alone in the hallway, your bag falling off your shoulder and clattering onto the floor with a thud echoing off the walls. Everything you had, all gone at once.

No one believed you.

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With nowhere to go where you felt like you could truly allow yourself to process the day's events, you went to the only place you knew.

Just outside of campus, where rocks lined the edge of the boundary, overlooking the outskirts of the town and the ocean stretching as far as the eye could see. You settled yourself there, staring at the vast waters and wondering how this had all happened. Unlucky didn’t even begin to cover how it felt. Not only did you feel violated with Tate attempting to do unthinkable things with your unconscious body, but you also felt alone, and walked on. Your best friends hadn’t believed you. While Lance seemed saddened, Kaz was so… Angry. Her words cut like knives into your skin.

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair. You didn’t deserve this.

You want to talk to Nathan, but knowing him, he’d see your state and bounce instantly. After all, this isn’t exactly very fun of you.

As the sun began to fall, splaying orange and blues over the wide open sky, behind you, you could hear voices. A group of them, some male, some female. Memories of when your notebook had gotten snatched by those two horsed face assholes came flooding back and with all your alertness, you stood up, and decided that this sitting place was no longer safe. Nothing was.

Before you even made it ten feet away, the group had found their way to your spot and gotten comfortable, one of the girls cheering, ‘this’ll be our hangout! look at how pretty the view is!’

You took a short drive down the stretches of road and decided that if you were going to lament in your own sadness, you were at least going to do so in a place that had something to cover the sound of your tears. Plus a nice view.

The beach, littered with its picnic tables and the sounds of crashing waves would suffice just fine. So, you pulled in the desolate parking lot and wandered down the sandy shores until you stumbled upon a picnic table shaded by a large willow cascading lushious branches to block out the sun- a perfect canopy for you to wallow under.

You had nothing at that moment. No friends, no reputation, no one to believe your tragic tale. And now, you’d just lost the one spot that made you feel comfortable when stress was building into your body like concrete. Tears pricked into the corners of your eyes and you bit your lip, dreading that feeling of a lump in your throat. Why you? Everything had been going so well. How could not even a single person believe that Tate had tried to hurt you?

Well, actually, there was one person.

Of course Nathan believed you. He’d been the one to rescue you, after all. Time and time again it seemed. How was it that even the ones closest to you would turn their back so fast, yet Nathan seemed to be there even when you didn’t want him to be? Even when you yelled at him, and he yelled right back, fire and sparks falling into embers around the two of you.

In that moment, you almost felt like you could finally relate to him. A reputation based on lies and things out of your control, paired with a hardheaded attitude to try and combat all the assumptions.

No wonder he was so angry.

“Hey bitch,” A voice suddenly called, and you had a split second moment where you were terrified of once again being the victim of a cruel prank or some classmates boredom. “How about next time you have a pity party you don’t fucking call me in the middle of it.”

You blinked away your tears and through the blurriness saw a figure coming towards you. All that sass, the tone...

“Nathan?” You breathed. It only takes moments before he’s in front of you, holding his phone in view, seeing that the call that had been running for nearly ten minute. You flush in embarrassment, pulling your phone from your back pocket. “How did that happen?”

“Well, can your ass dial numbers?” He taunts, ending the call.

“Damn it, dumb phone must have butt-dialed you. I knew I should’ve gotten a different one.” You mentally kick yourself. “It must have unlocked in my pocket.”

“You don’t have a password on your phone?” He taunts. When you shake your head, he whistles. “You are just begging for a robbery. I’ll keep that in mind when I’m in the mood to send random messages to all your buddies.”

“Fuck off.” You scowl, and he grins, hopping up on the picnic table next to you. The sun flatters his skin. He’s almost glowing.

“Speaking of buddies, how the hell did it pick my number out of your sea of friends?”

You shrug. “Probably cuz’ it’s a priority contact.”

“Oh lala, I’ve been upgraded to priority huh? Does it display a superman logo whenever you give it a ring?”

“Nope. When I press call it rings the nearest asshole in my vicinity. The fact that it’s you is your own problem.”

“Haha, fucking ha.” He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. He stares out at the water, watching waves pull and crash onto the beach. It’s almost beautiful, until he ruins it. “Yknow, you’re a really ugly crier.”

“Wow, thanks.” You shake your head. “That's exactly what I needed to hear right now. Why did you even stay on the line?.” Wiping your eyes, you start to forget your tears. “Couldn’t have been that wild of a conversation.”

Nathan shrugs. “Between the crying and the sound of the waves it was pretty nice.” He grins. “Very educational.”

“Awesome. Glad I was able to make your day.” It doesn’t feel like your usual bitey remarks. You’re tired, you’re still a little hurt and you can’t stop thinking about how such an amazing morning had turned into such a horrible day.

“So what’s got you all fucked up? Never seen you act like this big of a baby before.”

“Nothing. You already paid off your debt to me per this morning, so feel free to resume our regularly scheduled mutual hatred.” You say, lying through your teeth. You know you’re both past the point of hatred, but you’re feeling jaded, you can’t help it.

“Oh shut the fuck up,” He groans. “I didn’t drag my ass all the fucking way out to this shit hole of a beach just for you to give me that bullshit. What, did you fail a test? No one matched you on tinder?”

“Everyone thinks me and Tate slept together last night.” You blurt. “I think he’s telling people me and him had sex.”

Nathan tenses his shoulders and grimaces. “Fucking werido.”

“I told my best friends that he tried to take advantage of me and they don’t believe me. One of em’ even said he wouldn’t do something like that.”

“Fuck em’. Who needs best friends.”

“And to make everything so much better, these two bitches that I share four of my classes with harassed me all goddamn day. I mean, fucks sake, how the hell are girls named April and May of all things able to get to me. It’s bullshit. And to make matters worse, Tate is just… Getting away with it.”

“Yeah well, something tells me that Tate’s gonna get a real nice fucking taste of medicine eventually. I just gotta find him first. He’s got a lot of nerve spreading shit around given I knocked his ass onto the pavement.” Nathan brows knit at the memory.

You test the waters. “Why would you do that for me?”

He seems caught off guard, or maybe, surprised that you’d ask. Maybe he thinks you’re both beyond that point. He grumbles, “Why does it matter.”

“I’m just curious. We don’t owe each other anything, remember?”

“Yeah, well,” He huffs. “Don’t ask me questions to shit I don’t know the answer to.”

“You say that an awful lot.” You tease.

“Yeah well you ask dumbass questions an awful lot. Not everything I do has to have some weird ass motives behind it, ___. Maybe I’ve got beef with Tate that’s outside of you.”

“Uhuh. Sure.” You’re about to say something else, when your phone lights up with a text. The display makes your heart fall all over again.

Unknown Number: you should just pack up and go somewhere else. no one wants std’s from breathing your air xoxo

You don’t even know who that is. Now absolute strangers are on your case. You want to throw your phone into the ocean and leave.

Nathan scoffs. “Don’t even bat a fucking eye for that bitch, whoever the hell they are. Half the hoes you’ve mentioned have slept with half the football team,” he pinches his jacket, “and I would know.”

“Ew, Nathan,” You grimace, that same feeling from the morning returning. It feels, oddly, like jealousy. He nudges your arm with his elbow and grins playfully. It’s cute.

“Chill, I’m just fucking with you. You gotta know even I wouldn’t fuck girls that desperate. I’m a man of class.”

That last comment actually forces a laugh from you. It’s soft, but it’s real. The first laugh you’ve genuinely had all day. “That’s horrible.” You remark, giggling again.

It's almost like the slight restoration of your mood puts him at ease as well. He leans back on his hands and stares off into the ocean, those sparkling waters under the setting, orange sun. “I’m for real though. Those hoes aren’t worth your time. One day when we blow this shithole of a town they’re not even gonna matter.”

Your brows knit, eyes blinking up at him. Had you heard that right?

“We?” You ask, perplexed, albeit a little… Hopeful.

Nathan sputters. “Well- Like, when everyone’s older and-”

“You know what, it's fine.” You interrupt. “Fuck it. You’re right. We’re gonna blow this town and they’re just gonna be some shitty memories.”

He sucks in a shaky breath. You’ve never heard him scramble like that, like he’s been unmasked. The look he casts you when you agree, when you don’t tease or patronize and finally hop on the idea that yeah, what if the two of you really didn’t have to deal with it anymore.

What if the two of you could just exist, without the anger.

You look up at him. “Would you actually do that though?” You start. “With me, of all people?”

He swallows. His expression is tense, but he’s not upset. He appears nervous, caught off guard. Nathan tries, “I-”

Your phone rings. Shrill, piercing. Mood destroying.

“Jesus Christ, it’s my mom.” You grab your phone and Nathan looks forward, stone faced and silent as you hop off the table and answer. It’s your mother, who all but shouts into the phone that her and your father are taking a surprising visit to Arcadia Bay while they’re traveling by on their vacation. She insists that you be ready in about an hour for dinner, and likely there will be family photos.

Which means if you still look as wrecked as you did this morning, you’re gonna have a lot of washing up to do. With a quick goodbye, a short and sweet, ‘love you’, you hang up and sigh.

“You still tell your mom you love her?” He teases. “What are you, five?”

You frown. “You don’t tell your parents you love them?”

Nathan side eyes you, and just shrugs. It is all the answer you need, really, and for his sake you decide it wouldn’t be best to press the issue. Not now. But- it still makes your heart hurt just a little. You wished that he’d had it better growing up.

“Right… Do you want a ride home?”

“Fuck no, what am I,” He shoves his hands into his pockets. “a fucking girl scout?”

“I was just offering, weirdo.” When he doesn't get up, you feel like you’re missing out. Like if you stayed, maybe, just maybe, you’d get to know him a little better. “Hey, if you want, I can stay for a bit longer.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’re needed elsewhere. But,” he shrugs. “I don’t know. Fuckin’... Text me or something. Or not, I don’t care either way.”

There’s a small warmth in your chest that rises to your cheeks. He wants you to text him. “Yeah,” You say. “If I’m feeling fun.”

And with that, you bid him farewell, beginning your descent to the parking lot.

“Hey,” He calls, and you turn just in time to catch a small item he’s tossed right at you. A tiny key resides in the palm of your hand. “Spare. If shit hits the fan again-...” He shrugs, and actually looks away. “Just don’t be too fucking loud of I’ll kick your ass out myself. No Madison needed.”

The widest grin plays over your lips. “I’m gonna re-decorate your room while you’re gone.”

“Ah, you fucking better not.” He shouts. “Actually- you know what, give it back.”

“No, no! I’m sorry.” You play with the key between your fingers. “Thanks for this.”

“Yeah, whatever. Don’t lose it and remember- emergencies only. I don’t need you watching me sleep like fucking freak. We’re past that stage.”

“How many times will I have to say I was never watching you. Christ… But, alright. See ya, then.” The key is heavy in your palm.

You place it into your pocket and give him one last glance before you take off, leaving him to enjoy the sound of waves, birds, and the absence of your tears.

#nathan prescott #nathan prescott x reader #life is strange #grazing the fire #scenario #fanfic #fluff

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free-pool-trash · 3 years

Text

disappointment - peter maximoff

i’ve yet again lost my ability to write :D anyway here you go lovelies <3 idek know what this is tbh i just had to post something (it’s not good im sorry I seriously hate this omg anyway im going)

word count: 2k

warnings: senseless angst, WandaVision spoilers, swearing

comments are appreciated <3

masterlist

“Are you nervous about the mission tomorrow? ‘Cus I am.” Peter’s voice sounded beside your ear. His head was tucked between your neck and shoulder while his chest was pressed flush against your back, his arms wound tightly around your middle.

With a tired yawn, you rubbed your boyfriend’s forearm soothingly. It was late and you were half asleep but you’d been dating Peter long enough to know that he could never sleep if there was something on his mind. “You’re not even going on the mission tomorrow, baby. Why’re you nervous?” You lazily played with his fingers, stopping them from anxiously drumming against your stomach, as you slurred your words sleepily.

Peter let out a heavy sigh and hid his face against your neck, pecking the skin softly with his lips as he did, “I’m not going, but you are. M’worried about you…”

His confession caused your eyes to flutter open.

Peter Maximoff had the biggest heart of anyone you’ve ever met. He loved hard but he worried harder. So when you heard the slight shake in his raspy voice, you twisted in his grip to face him.

His lips were turned downwards, as were his eyes as he avoided your gaze.

“Pete…” You whispered, moving your arms to wrap around his neck. “I’m gonna be okay. Raven and Charles will be with me the whole time, we’ll be in and out. I promise.” You pressed your lips against his quickly before pulling away to look at him, his brown eyes finally meeting yours, his hands holding you tightly against him still.

“I just don’t get why Charles won’t let me come.” He complained with a childish pout.

You let out a quiet laugh before tugging Peter’s head down slightly so his forehead could rest against yours, “We really need this mutant on our side, Pete. Charles insisted that only X-Men with the “powers of persuasion” are going.” You explained, making air quotes despite the fact he couldn’t see them.

With another light kiss you continued, “And hey, what’s the worst that can happen?”

Peter scoffed at that, scrunching his nose up in distaste, “He could blast the only woman I’ve ever loved into a different dimension.” He grumbled, rubbing his nose against yours.

His worry wasn’t exactly misplaced. There’d been a group of mutants on a warpath lately, one of the group slightly friendlier than the others, albeit, still highly malicious. The man in question had the ability to open portals to other realities, and he’d been using said ability to get rid of anyone who stood in his way.

Charles thought he’d be an asset, Raven thought he should be taken out of the picture and you thought the man was more than just a lackey, like he let on.

So Peter, as much as he liked to overthink, was definitely onto something. There was a huge possibility that, if anyone was going to get blasted into another reality on tomorrow’s mission, it was probably going to be you.

Your mutation was mind control, you could make anyone do anything just by saying the words. Charles’ tactic was to try persuade the mutant and if that failed, yourself and Raven would be brought in to manipulate his decision.

“That won’t happen.” You tried to reassure him, letting your hands run through his hair but Peter remained on edge.

“But what if-“ He started but you cut him off with a gentle tug on his silver hair.

“No buts. I’m gonna go on this mission, it’s gonna be a pain in the ass but it’s gonna be fine. I’m going to come home with not even a scratch on me. Then I’ll find you and you’ll kiss me and welcome me home like you always do.” You rattled off the usual post-mission routine with a fond smile across your lips.

Peter let out a defeated sigh, a smile of his own beginning to form as you placed lazy kisses against his jaw.

“Fine. I believe you. But if you don’t come back I’m gonna be seriously pissed.” He jostled your body, chuckling happily when you let out an airy giggle against his neck. “Don’t go getting any ideas, sweetheart. Even going to a different reality won’t get rid of me.”

You continued placing short kisses against his neck and jaw until you worked your way back up to his pink lips, you ghosted over them with your own, only barely pressing them down and pulling a whine from Peter when you pulled away to look at him with a teasing grin.

“So say your lovely girlfriend does get sent to an alternate reality… would you follow?” Within a second of your question, Peter had flipped your positions so that your back was against the mattress and the man in question was hovering on top of you with a cheeky grin.

“Sweet cheeks, I’d follow you anywhere.” He told you and you giggled at the stupid pet name before pulling him down to kiss you.

Your eyes fluttering shut as you murmured against his lips, “I love you, idiot.”

Softly, Peter tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I love you too.

It was safe to say that the mission was a complete failure. As you’d thought, the mutant Charles wanted to befriend turned out to have plans of his own, one of those plans being to throw you head first into a different dimension, apparently.

As much as it pained you to admit; Peter was right.

Fuck, he was probably going out of his mind with worry. You kicked yourself internally, not believing that you’d actually been careless enough to get caught out by the burly mutant. Not that it was entirely your fault, now that you thought about it actually, it was pretty much entirely Charles’ fault for doing his usual; not listening to you. You warned him it wouldn’t work, yet he sent you in anyway. If he didn’t find a way to get you home soon you’d… well, you weren’t really sure what you’d do. Probably find Peter and tell him you love him then go kick Charles’ ass.

Dreams of giving your professor the biggest telling off of his life came to a crashing halt when you took in your new surroundings. It seemed you’d been regurgated out in the middle of some run down town, if you didn’t know any better you would’ve thought you were still in your own reality, but unfortunately, you did know better.

There was something wrong, or if not already, something was about to go very wrong in the little town. You could feel it. Someone very powerful was about to lose control of themselves. You couldn’t exactly tell the future but you had something of a disaster radar that told you when shit was about to hit the fan.

With nothing else to do, you decided to follow the feeling as it led you to a red car.

Noticing a woman in the driver’s seat, you approached cautiously. When she noticed you walking towards her she rolled down the passenger side window, looking at you with a questioning gaze.

“Sorry to intrude,” You told her genuinely, “It’s just I thought that maybe someone needed help.” You bet around the bush slightly, you knew it was the redhead in front of you that needed help but it wasn’t in your nature to use your powers to demand someone to spill their souls to you.

When her eyes lit up red, you didn’t startle. The feeling of someone poking around your thoughts wasn’t a new sensation to you, Charles seldom knew when to mind his own business, so the fact that the woman before you was reading your mind hardly phased you.

“I’ve got abilities too.” You told her with a small smile before going on, her eyes back to normal and her form more relaxed.

She nodded in understanding, “You’re very far from home, no?” Her tone was sympathetic and you let out a humourless laugh.

“That might be an understatement. Pretty morbid thinking I’ll probably never find my way home.” It was only when you spoke the words that it really hit you that the chances of returning home were slim to none. You’d probably never see the love of your life again, you’d probably have to wave goodbye to any possibility of having a future with your speedster.

Catching onto your miserable train of thought, Wanda leaned over and opened the passenger door for you, motioning for you to get in. Gratefully, you took the stranger up on her offer.

“I’ve lost everything too.” She confessed and you weren’t sure why but you felt the need to comfort her, once again following your instincts, you squeezed her hand and to your surprise, she reciprocated the action.

“My name is Wanda, by the way.” She introduced herself and you responded with a kind smile.

“I’m Y/n. It’s nice to meet you.”

With a deep breath, Wanda squeezed your hand one last time, then turned to face you. “I have to do something. Will you wait here until I come back? I believe we could be of some help to each other.”

“Of course. Take your time, I’ll wait for as long as you need.” You promised her. Watching as she took another shaky breath and got out of the car and made her way towards the foundation of a house.

After about a minute, Wanda fell to her knees. And then you saw nothing but scarlet.

Life in WestView was good. Sure, there were some holes in your memory, but other than that, things were good.

You had a nice house, right next to Wanda’s, your hair seemed to style itself most of the time and the nightmares that plagued you were hardly ever your own. Things were fine.

Being blissfully ignorant was good enough for you for a number of days, until a familiar face caused all of your hopes of living happily unaware to crumble to the ground.

You’d been over at Wanda and Visions house for dinner when he’d knocked on the door. Standing on Wanda’s front porch was the one and only, Peter Maximoff. Your Peter. The person you loved the most and your ticket home.

The second his brown eyes locked on yours you’d been so sure. You would’ve bet your life that the person playing Wanda’s twin was Peter.

Perhaps your fatal flaw was wishful thinking as the hope of your love coming to rescue you, however romantic, was naive.

It hit you like a freight train, that realisation. You were truly and completely alone, for when WestView fell it took all of your hope with it.

He wasn’t Peter and he never had been. Sure, he had his face, his body, his personality and even his superspeed… but he wasn’t him.

When you’d uncovered his true identity with Monica, a part of you shattered on the spot. A familiar, decolate feeling washed over you in the moment and you weren’t sure if you’d even bother to carry on.

It was the kind of gut wrenching feeling of being so disappointed to the point where it physically hurt. It was the pain of truly accepting that he hadn’t actually followed you into another reality, that maybe your love wasn’t strong enough to warrent a visit to another reality and it was the pain of knowing that his life would go on without you.

The X-Men would encourage him to move on and, you had a fair idea of how it would go, he’d fight them relentlessly but eventually he’d cave, he’d let Jean set him up on a date and then he’d go from there, however reluctantly.

And you? You’d simply be a name lost in time. The one they think about, from time to time. You’d be spared nothing more than, “I wonder how she’s doing’ or ‘whatever happened to that girl? Remember the one?”, but life would go on without you.

That sting, you knew, would never leave you. As hope was dangerous and unreliable and painful you made yourself a promise, you wouldn’t hold out for a knight in shining armour to come rescue you. All you could do now was find a way to live. By yourself.

PART 2

#peter maximoff x reader #peter maximoff #peter maximoff imagine #x men x reader #x-men #wandavision spoilers #wandavision x reader #WandaVision #pietro maximoff x reader #pietro maximoff #marvel

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pndnj · 3 years

Text

Cathartic- Yellow Metal Lyrics

Heres where I am with the lyrics, I referenced @25Goldenn on twitter for some of it that I couldn’t comprehend.

*music*

0:23

Dark matter, like painted splatters, they fit better, the old saying, the way it goes, better the devil you do then you don’t know. I hit pedals and switch levers, my heart metal, I can't settle, im part trouble, they are not subtle. I fuck good so fuck cuddles, burst bubbles the thrist levels at new heights, i down doubles, and got baked til I felt high, my face puzzled, felt muddled, far strung and your floors woodent, the thought might but the fit wouldn’t. A fortnight

0:46 - 1:00

And I thought right, it’s all bark and no bite, I’m Tony Stark still embarking on a dream, took a bit of time to take darkness from the team. Seen what I saw. Heartless on the sleeve. Tried to burn my wings, so I put them in a piece on my chest , at peace no rest.

1:00-1:15

Flipped this on it’s head. Rip the script up now, flip it don’t pretend, slipping shit again, Fakers all around me, I’ve been living in pretense. Fake friends won’t make amends. There’s no need, these mean comments control the scenes. Attentionseekers, the spine is weakened

1:15-1:24

This family needs, what a family needs, and the planet bleeds, the damaged trees. It’s never leaving til we ascend so fuck the fence, and until they stop killing colour it’s fuck the feds.

1:22 - 1:44

You must be off it, I mean it, you know you ain’t never get with the judging and I used to dread growing my beard too long, never felt I belonged, but it's really long like a minute I ain’t looking to no mans for the limits, They’re feeling timid, I’m telling them who they mimic, why they don't look like a clinic …. Why they don't get no women, Still, we’re just fucking girls, Lost in the wrong world, Jurassic, now to this vermin

1:41- 1: 50

Kicking the game I’m serving, these losers are never learning, my fire is forever burning, adding it to my fuel, seems like I’m always focused on never becoming you, These locals that rob us feeling … was for a reason.

1:52-2:02

I’m seeing my new beginnings, watch out this loser’s winning, and no water is too deep to swim in Like I’m about to see a killing, I’m all the way that and living, flawless and feeling lawless, the prison now to the gimmicks, my vision is set to something,

2:03-:2:20

I’m watching you bitches plummet, no matches here for my cunning, you rappers are feeling done in, switching your genre, running and Running your jaw, stunting, pulling at straws, something I think you’re a poor effort, deaf and tone deaf and I ain’t treat you separate. Living, I’m in my element, riding it like a … never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take a benadryl. Keeping it green in general

2:20- 2:46

Think that you remain irrelevant. Look at yourself with reverence, hoping to always elevate. Celibate of these thoughts, killing themselves with sedatives. In comparison to eminem, you’re feeling feminine. Impolitically correct, still dropping on my dick. And I never gave a fuck about what they say abt my shit, I’ve been moving things in my mind like it’s this mountain dew Memories have made me wonder if one day I’m after you. What’s the purpose that you do, is what you're hoping that they learn, i’d like to say i’m done but it’s getting up on my nerves

2:46 -2:55

I’m looking at my life, saying what do I deserve. It’s hard to say I know when I’m walking through the dirt. Talking while you’re nothing I can see for what it’s worth. I’m tired of feeling hurt and I’ve tried enough but nothing works.

2:55-3:40

I’m racking up excuses while I’m slacking off on work. Chit chatting is the usual, talking to this clerk, i beg you don’t include me. I might write it on my shirt so everytime they see me, the oldest know to swerve. SWERVE Life is potent, bits of fucked shit… till they took notice weren’t no hocus pocus, it was hard work that got me heard so i put in the graph like google maps but the whole earth

… around my door mat, taking over like the drones, rolling dirt up in miles like the water, and exploding like Annas hematoma. Don't need to see a slammer to know that I don't want to go man

I’m a showman. I’m just focused on the drama… like i’ve got my own insurance, show myself the pain, like i boxed it in the frame, if we’re about to talk greatness im great, the way you have to say my name like beyonce

“Say my name”

4:00-4:46

Just a bum with a cigarette, sun coming up, all my thoughts on the internet. Feeling deep, I’m just bored with the silhouette single sec, get fucked up for the thrill of it . killer streak playing Pacman. Like I came from the Philippines vanilla bean still a thing for the thrill of scene,

Theres a beam, UFO, Leave it well alone I aint moving, stood still on the peloton, telephone and its always on the dial tone, it's been a while since i’ve smiled at a milestone, seen a big pile in my mind stone, me against the world on my Jack Jones, Like I’m John Jones, With pictures in the condo, far from John Doe, in the ___, like I'm Johnny Bravo, got pravado, with a small dick sitting in golados, feeling far gone, cuz that last hit was the good shit, was that stay lit

4:48-5:02

You can never take my shit come and get me. On the top floor, cloud 9, fading, never bailing, felt amazing, inhaling, til my lungs two guns blazing. Overcome all the stunts that I pulled. A suit of just skin and then wool

5:02- 5:17

This life doesn’t give you no armour, a lot of myself can harm ya. I swear on what’s good, that I’m here till they take me. I pray that I’m wrinkled, at least over 80, and start moving like a ruler, ?damaged? Like a computer going fast, bars from the jeweler, bring the songs to the beach in hopes of finding tuna

5:18-5:36

…

5:36- 6:16

Grab a bat, lose my rag. Couple things got me mad, a couple people got me wrong and now I’m changing up the swag. Coming in and stealing it, I might take the whole bag. Feeling undefeated, I’m a beast with a reason, and imma lead the whole pack. Fearless like I’m Caesar, I’m just waiting for a chance to fill it up with diesel, and all I've been achieving is clocking miles in its region, moving like a legion.

Promise that I made to myself an allegiance. Do you still believe I’m a fool for ever leaving, staring at the ceiling, can never put a cap on achieving. I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving.

I’ve had about enough of being my own enemy, it’s time I grew up, a long way from 17. Always went against the grain, struggles in my life. Got some things to say when I stand up on a mike.

6:16-6:32

I ain’t dropping this for fame, I need this time, like therapy, it’s just to keep me sane. The truth is on my medicine, can’t put that on your plate.

Speeding into everything, bout time I fixed the brakes. Don’t say I can’t communicate , you know I conversate with you in several different ways. And I know you know it’s references, looking at your face.

6:33- 6:53

Can’t justify mistakes, like every man that made them, seems I ain't the one to blame. Lying to myself, only had so much to gain, so now I’m switching up the plate, see if that affects the place, im at on most days

I ain’t going with the usual so they looking at me strange. Confused, I can feel it all, I’m here to make a change. It’s cold at 3am outside, I’m walking with the dog, thanking god that you don’t talk at all, my mind is switching off

6:54-7:12

Driving down to find myself, cuz I’ve been getting lost, lived this selfless life and found I can give a toss. Lessons that I’ve learned I’ve tried teaching to myself. What I’ve learnt from certain people is that they’re better than myself.

So I surround myself with real ones, and you feel the plastic melt. Like burning toy soldiers that used to go up on the shelf. Recycle the ideas, conveying on the belt

7:14-7:29

.. circus, always hurting the way we felt? Embarrassed that we dreamt of bigger things and letting go of notions till we feel them in cement

Tired of only hoping, we feel broken men. Cuz the gravity is weight and has kept us to the ground, see the only people speaking with favors in their mouths

7:46-7:58

Got killer rhymes… no fillers, like godzilla, eating clouds cuz my smokes thicker, throat licker, my dope sicker, bringing people their hope like im the pope slicker, i hope you’re getting the point cuz i walk quicker

I thought my city was shit bcs I want bigger like my zipper couldn’t zip up fed up with the…my love is fickle.. Residual age has a primitive face

I see demise for your limited ways, Left it to simmer, simmer away…a fake glimmer in the haze

8:09-8:11

Feeling trapped this industry is a cage

8:34-8:50

Nobody’s speaking the truth, I’m offended by the State. Look at the state of the news, I’ve decided the argument, reciting my views, while they’ve been sat in their chairs, I’m feeling pressure to choose.

Standing here as one man, how can I do half when you’re half the person I am. If it wasn’t in your life, you didn’t choose it. It’s the funny thing about music. It’s the pain and beauty of it.

8:52-9:11

Don’t give a fuck what my suit is, it looks good so I wear it, better than the shoot that People’s wearing, changing the whole narrative for these basics and scarcity

Been facing the racists from back when i were a kiddie .born up in in 93’. been living in Bradford City..kicked me out of the schools, they had a problem with me hitting the kids that would call me p*** still sitting in the classroom chilling, and i'm angry now that I’m older I see they treat us different

9:12-9:25

got me thinking I’m the problem cuz they never dealt with those issues.

20 years later I’m still in the same boat, tryna treat me like my grandpa, say I came up off the boat. Came to tell you what I stand for, man I think you’re shit, a joke. How can I be civil, when they got me by the throat

9:25-9:35

Pushing my feelings down, you ain’t got it like them

‘Boy your skin is so light’, ok motherfucker take my name up on a flight. Try to convince immigration that your bloodline’s half white.

9:35-9:45

I don’t know how that’s acceptable, when life is more susceptible to perception, be the death of them. I’ve been looking at the sky saying where’s that day of reckoning, you had your prophets right when they say that you would speak to them.

9:45-9:55

I need justice in this life and I trust that it’s my fight, cuz when I’m writing it feels right to have them focused on the facts again. Focused on the rap again, hoping for the change, gunna put this on the map again

9:55-10:16

Writing in all caps again, the pain, it goes through me so I write the letter. All the shit that could have brought me but made me better.

I’m at home with a pain in my soul , yeh rap… cuz you know I was too real to contest it, my time was invested. Now I look at the industry, I see it infested, looking like kids who would write on nesquik.

10:17-10:29

My name ain’t on the list unless they label it ethnic.

I ain’t never gave a fuck about these jokers and jesters. Ain’t no answers for these things, so just save us the questions, man allowed of violence, cuz my silence is deafening, your opinion stinks, somebody get him a breath mint.

10:30- 10:42

Start to understand why they think that I’m threatening, I move in certain ways, couldn’t slow me with ketamine Now they all wanna hear me, got a table at letterman. Direction changed, like I changed up the lettering. Don’t believe the age ,bcs I move like a veteran.

10:42 - 10:47

Raised on the benefit for whose benefit, they’ll never learn shit, man, if the shoe fits.

…no words coming out when you open your mouth

And to be honest, it’s insulting, offensive to my wounds that have been salting. Tryna ask me questions that they know I never answer. I’d rather sit online and reply to the fan art

11:00-11:06

Fuck a sports car, coming through when i rapped

tell you what I like, farm life and the tractor

11:06- 11:17

Fake life, 'sup online, suck a fat one. You don’t wanna buy into that, none of that son. Sitting in the garden 98’ in the Datsun, seen some hot summers but I still remember that sun.

*music*

11:51- 12:34

I make millions off of my pain, cause I know a few millions still living that way

Dealing with the hurt, they should know cause they don’t deserve it, it hit deep cause i hit the nerve. Only way that the sheep learn if the street firm, in my ways I don’t wanna change, everything just stay the same

Who you tryna convince you understand, cant maintain, let the lights dim some, get the Chow Mein, flex, get the tape, right up at night

Why these men be nice to my face, be nice, i ain’t tryna be a gangsta ruins my vibe

Rather be low-key and on my phone. Never need the trophy or the show piece

Never show peace in a North Face fleece. Show kids this like i wrote my flip

Cause the sign might fit till the start i’m sick

12:37-13:05

Now you see where I come from, the world don’t. Only achievement in this life is the Jordans. Committing petty crimes out of boredom, we can’t afford them. So I stole it, need a rolex

Go make sense, get yourself a job, It’s a poor man’s game tryna sit and pray to god, he ain’t sorting out your problems, gotta sort them out yourself

Used to tell us fables, now I’m writing them myself, Cause we raw like animals we all just need some help

Cathartic, I’m an artist, trying to put my heart in

Felt double crossed like Leo in Departed

13:05- 13:27

For the knowledge i’m not charging see I got it all free

But my hunger kept me starving like i’m feening for the feed

I just Need a reason to see me bleeding for my creed. Trick you with the words like I keep em up my sleeve. Picking where I fit, I see me sitting with the queen

I ain’t doing it unless you’re used to saying please

Let me flow a bit, before I sting 'em with the bees, They tryna kill us with disease

(Music)

13:34- 14:12

Why does it feel like they had the same notebook and the same four looks

Like the rain won't touch on their face, so sus when they lie don’t trust not a minor

Please no fuss, I just move through the game like must

Something in the way i adjust till i stick, Free falling like the ship, free fall till i bust

Remember 21 brother gave no fucks. Trying to project when they give them looks

In the projects, in the objects us

In my own way, never gave me love, shoulda never started this, broken hearted kid

Dried up the feeling till I stole the lid

Don’t wanna relish in the fame but I can’t resist

14:46-14:58

I like the way we feel, I like the way, I like the way

Ain’t no mistake, i am a being

I ain’t tryna be a leader, been selling out since Jesus

All my rhymes are for the readers, between the lines, like Father time, I fuck Mother Nature

14:58-15:40

That’s what they get, the connotations. Tell 'em I lived a life, and then I lived a life of adjacent? like its…. and played it patient.

Alone on my own spaceship, always tryna find greatness, still defying lines, but I’m fighting in my prime.

Shining light like Kylo while imma kill it all the time. Aging like I’m wine

Asian in my face, but still my race you can’t define. Focused on defiance, imma fight it while it’s life.

Started something sick and on my mind is what’s next, just became a dad so now I’m taking all the cheques. Better know I’m staying and paying like it’s debt. Imma get it done, if it’s taking all my breath, sweat, and down I ain’t messing around til I’m the best

Speaking in full sentences, shoulda thought about a strategy before you went at the stratosphere about this… rings around Saturn, this ain’t a battle, I’m sat, I’m here

15:40-16:22

Catch me doing magic, hired and sounding tragic I think you could use practice and until that you get the blacklist and pull like a … actress? Fooling them like a catfish, schooling like a legend, happy to be the reference, fusing like iridescence, leaving them all guessing, leaking out of my brain like a pipe I aint fixing, shining like a star you can see it from a distance

Aint many of me around p*** I’m just different Certain stages to this level aint here because fame is to the devil fuck a label, imma do this from the ghetto, clean up like Im Dettol

I’m the man to put a bet on, sight smart like a weapon, this is my kind of setting, i write the world I’m sat in, while these others live on hype, i see them fight in how they type, the fruit is ripe for the taking, i think i might

16:22-16:57

Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here

16:58- 17:47

Eccentric things are mentioned like a kid stuck in detention tryna escape im just spitting what is written on the next page, spitting image of my dad in his young days

Born sinner when i’m livid i say fucks sake

Don’t worry i’m too cunning with no plumbing, the waterworks, i sung something that resonates, i thought it first like giving birth to the parrot perch

They see me do it and they know it works

Don’t know what’s worse: the way that you live your life or the way that you write a verse

You’ll be nervous, you don’t deserve it we’ll scratch the surface ill leave a crater, lift the dirt up to find the hurting

Can’t know for certain nothing is guaranteed, tryna be a better person than the world deserves to see cuz i see a lot of sharks still swimming in the sea

Cease and arrest what’s the reason.. And these the kinda kids we bringing up next

Distorted reality, all they needed was family, too hard to face, to see what the damage is

17:47

*i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, no, i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, *

18:04-18:38

Sometimes they ask the questions too deep to form a sentence, to disform, is this the norm, is this the sentence i feel defenseless i played the setlist, and all my sweat blood and tears, forgot to mention feeling lost, going off into different sections i feel like love wrecked it

If it’s not a drug why am i waiting for the next fix, affected, i cant believe that you left this

I guess I leave for the best wish, moving on like im fine for the lectures

We see it all from spectrums, cuz if we’re falling down we can fall down together

Staircase to heaven, mirror down the middle like 11, resentment on one side it won’t settle

18:38- 19:14

Mind fried but taking sense, they aint got a sense of themselves in the rich ends

Need to spell it out for them.. Made for them so witness

I know you feel afflicted but you always love it with me while im laughing at you, ya think you’re laughing with me

I try to (i love you) but im grown so they don’t fit me, my body thrown from the new to this old city so Im sick of sitting on my own, feeling so shitty, i’ve been on roads where its cold and the snow hitting

Its okay to be yourself, sit and talking to myself

I’ve been walking for the longest, just need a little rest, know i ain’t the strongest, I can feel it in my chest, talking about my feelings and of me, they get the best

19:14-19:59

They aint leaving, seeing breathing in my breath

Till death do us part is just seeded in my heart, like a work of art

Never winning,im just scared

Cant begin from the start, do i play a part in the rhythm of the night

I guess i’m onto something cuz the dark is feeling right

Every cloud got a lining, put my own miles in, like moralis, figured that they’re jealous, that they could just never tell us to change because the weather never made me question whether or not i’m not that level

Got rid of all the bullshit sitting in my way, most of them are full of shit i see it every day

I do hearing the same things that i do, maybe that shits hitting like haiku

How much do you pay for them to hype you

Recycle your flaws but they aint like new, leaving and conceded and full of diesel like engines that need a cleaning, the ending will be revealing. Even though we ain’t raising the facts, now we been facing.

20:01-20:52

The cactus with spikes, needing spaces. Different faces, the same story. A full body like straight body direct to your system.

Could never tell 'em we missed’ em. Not even with the thoughts, we gift them. Cuz they just take advantage, guess we are caught in a system.

My soul pouring out details of borrowed time, had enough of a fill, this is for sorrow time. I’m seeing visions of Heaven, I seen the severed line, between the gospel they speak and when theyre telling lies.

Remember telling a friend of mine, you’d sent of mine, identified like a 3rd eye. Got a habit of knowing now where the dirt lies. So benign. I ain’t sober after 9, so I fuck their minds. Why you flipping out, see another

Try to rep it from the city, fuck a chiller crew, repping for the nittys, trying to keep us down, raised on the social, don’t want to let us out of the system. Me, I insist we assist them, me alone putting shifts til I lift them

20:53-21:12

I know it’s hard, that’s why I like it, I’m fit to fight it, I’m from the North, I’m backing Tyson, it’s been decided, don’t see no light. They needing guiding, just redefining, realizing, I’m realigning, in full finance, they stay silenced.

Can’t be louder, I’m juiced up with no powder. I fix shit like a slick spanner. Gone green like Bruce Banner. So free Gaza on my banner

21:12-21:51

The real McCoy, I ain’t nothing to toy with, signifying peace like a Japanese Koi Fish. How did this happen, we’re moving backwards in our timeline, killing us with cyanide, Right up for the freedom 'til we transform like Ironhide

This is bout my feelings, the way that I move affects the fate that I’m sealing. Can’t say nothing, with that something being on the page, kept inside the pen like the bars that have been kept caged. See I always had a plan, since I was young, we had nothing man

Now it’s been a few years since I ain’t seen the fam, on foreign lands. Bout to climb Everest in the avalanche. Right into the riddles as soon as you were born. Never asking the question cuz it’s the norm. See I’m in a questionin’ session

21:52-22:03

Like the manner got a method to teaching a lesson, listen to MF Doom, he taught me like Ra’s Al Ghul. Felt like living in Gotham, the people were rotten. Still we play cartoons so it’s never forgotten.

22:03-22:15

Chilling at the top but we came from the bottom. Writing and jottin for them life by, spotting the difference

*Dreams, was growing out of me, sun promising that tomorrow it will rise, time playing games with my mind, I swear it will pass us by

Train goes on the tracks, smoke, I’m tired to hide my thoughts, so blinded in flames, Don’t know where we’re going, I have no way of knowing, only see what’s in my head

Can’t we wait a minute, so we can savour this, It’s on my brain again, these days, It on my brain again these days”

23:10-23:46

They’re hating on Palestine ways, The oh no Palace playing Prince on the Steinway, Sending out mind waves, stop them like crimewaves, Freedom fighter, Yellow Metal is my name

Like vipers, I see the sly ones, the snake that’s called Biden, none of them abiding what they might put in writing

We should be used to it by now, say whatever for the vote and then just choose another route, say they’d never kill another unless that brother’s skin is brown

I’m just telling you the facts, if you can’t take it, the truth naked, to bare bones and my thoughts lately, spitting politics.. Done ain’t it, Shit just gets me vexed, and now I’m sitting that I think of it

23:45-23:59

Feeling on the brink of it, whatever it is, Figure out some shit at least it feels that way

talk about my feelings and I don’t feel so strange, finding solace, that’s a promise, in Metropolis but being honest, can’t write a sonnet, without some pain

24:00-24:40

Can’t fade away, away so we can savour this, been on my brain again these days

Can't find a way to be so you can savour this, been on my brain these days

Singing the song for another, singing a song for another

#zayn #yellowmetal #cathartic #feel free to correct me pls #cathartic lyrics

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bean33 · 3 years

Text

Rook Hunt x Sick! Reader

You were in the potions classroom helping Ace, Deuce and Grimm clean up. You were almost finished cleaning the room when you started not feeling well. It had been about an hour and 30 minutes of cleaning the room. When someone came into the room I looked over and saw that Crewel came into the classroom. "Y/n, you can leave but the other three have to stay" he said. I nodded in response and lifted the classroom. As I was walking back to the dorm it started to rain.

As the rain started coming down I remembered that I didn't have an umbrella so I started to run. Which was a bad idea. When I was running I slipped on the wet ground. I got back up to unlock the door and walked into the dorm.

The ghosts were doing their own thing. "Hey guys I'm back!" I yelled so that they would know that I'm home. One of the three ghosts came to me "Welcome back, Y/n. You should go and dry off before you get sick" the ghost said. "I will don't worry," I told the ghost and walked away to my room that I shared with Grimm.

-Time skip -

After an hour Grimm got back to the dorm. His fur was completely soaked. I giggled at him but that was a mistake "Hey! Don't laugh at me" he yelled at me "I'm sorry Grimm but your fur is soaked and it looks funny" I told him. I went to get a towel for him. When I got back to him with the towel I wrapped it around him and he held the towel so it wouldn't fall but it would drag behind him.

Grimm went up the stairs that went to his own dorm, But fell down the stairs with a loud thud. "Ow, stupid stairs" he said and got back up and went back up the stairs. I went to the kitchen to make me dinner and get Grimm his canned tuna. I was thinking about what to eat but I couldn't think of anything.

So I looked through the cupboards and saw y/f/f (Your favourite food) and cooked it up.

-Time-skip/ next morning-

It is the next morning. The rain as stopped and the ground was wet. I done my morning routine and got into my uniform. Even though I still didn't feel alright. I got Grimm ready and walked to school. When we got there I saw Riddle, Vil and Azul they were just talking. "Hey guys" I said "Hello Rose" Riddle said, "hello Little Potato" Vil said, "hello Angelfish" Azul said.

After a while of talking while walking to my class. Once I got to my class the others went to theirs.

-lunch time-

It was hot when I got into my uniform after P.E. I was breathing heavily and my limbs were hurting. As I was walking to the cafeteria I bumped into some and landed on the ground. "Im sorry, Trickster" The person said I looked up and saw Rook.

He put out his hand and I grabbed on to it and he pulled me up off the ground. "No I should be sorry I bumped into you, I wasn't looking where I was going" I said to him. Then I started to get a headache and my vision went dark.

~Rook's POV~

I helped Trickster and they said "No I should be sorry I bumped into you, I wasn't looking where I was going." Then they collapsed. I was able to grab them before their body hit the floor again. I picked them up bridal style and took them to the nurse's office.

After I put Trickster on the bed the nurse had gotten me to go and get some food for when Trickster woke up. I was looking at all the different food that was there. I thought that I should get Trickster something easy to eat for when they woke up. So I got them some pasta and a fruit smoothie.

When I got to the nurse's office I saw that Trickster was awake. I gave them the pasta and the smoothie. They took it happily. They were eating the pasta and they started to cough. I patted them back to try and help them.

Then I noticed and they looked kind of pale and tired. "Trickster, you should get some rest, you don't look so well" I told them but they replied with "Rook I am fine, trust me please, and besides all I am is just overheated because I had gotten out of P.E" with a smile at the end of their sentence.

I know that they are not fine. Then the bell rang "I'll see you after school then, Trickster" and lifted the nurses office to go to my last classes of the day.

-Time-skip/ Your pov-

It was the end of school and I was still in the nurse's office since they wouldn't let me go to my classes because I collapsed in the hall. I know that Rook would have made me stay in the nurse's office.

Since I have no magic I can get hurt more than anyone else in the school. So I have to be careful but I still try my best in what I can do in my classes. Then I felt something poking my check so I looked and saw Rook. "Trickster, I have been saying your name for a minute now" he told me "sorry Rook I was thinking about something" I said to him. "It is alright" he said to me then he put an arm behind my back and another under my legs and picked me up. so I wrapped my arm around his neck.

Then we left the nurse's office and went to the Pomefiore dorm. When we got there I opened the door for Rook and rook closed the door once we got inside. HE took me to his room and placed me on his bed. He went over to his wardrobe, got changed into his dorm uniform and picked a t-shirt and shorts for me. Rook looked away and I got changed when I finished getting changed I lied back down on the bed.

Rook took my uniform and his in his arms "I will be back Trickster, ok" and I nodded. Then he lifted his room with both of our uniforms. I knew that he went to watch our uniforms. I noticed that Rook lifted his hat behind what he normally wears. So I grab it and put it on then I hear someone giggle. I looked over to the door and saw that Rook had gotten back.

"You look cute in it, Trickster," Rook said to me, making me blush. HE came over to the bed and lay down by me, pulled me into a hug and took his hat back and put it on his bedside table. I started to close my eyes because of the warmth of the bed and Rook's hugs.

-Time skip/ next morning-

I woke up to Rook not being in the room but I did feel kind of better. I got out of the bed and walked out of Rook's room. As I was walking I felt a hand on my shoulder. When I turned around I saw Vil "oh, hi Vil, I didn't know you were still in the dorm" I said nervously. "It is alright Little Potato, Rook told me that you were sick so he asked me to look after you while he is out hunting, And just so you know it is the weekend" Vil told me.

Then I felt something being placed on my head. I turned around to see that Rook is back. Then his hat pulled over my eyes. I grabbed his hat and pulled it up over my eyes again so I could see him. He was only 2 inches away from me. Rook was also kneed down so he was at my height. I noticed that Vil was walking away from me and Rook.

Rook put his hand on my check and then kissed me. My heart started to face. I could feel that my face started to burn up. I relaxed into the kiss and started to run my hand in Rook's hair. The kiss lasted for about a minute. Rook broke away from the kiss and I wrapped my arms around Rook and buried my face into the croke of his neck.

Rook then wrapped his arm around me and stood up so I wrapped my legs around him. To make sure that I wouldn't fall. Rook was walking around the dorm doing what he does even getting food and drinks for me when I needed them. He even gave me some medication to help me while I was sick. When Rook sat down he moved my body so that I was comfortable. I was still wearing his hat as well until he took it off me and placed it on his head. I relaxed into Rook's hold and every now and then I moved to make sure that my legs or arms did not fall asleep.

-Time skip/ you not being sick anymore-

Rook was in his bed and only people that are giving Rook food, drinks or even medication can go in and see him. I was going in to give Rook some food, a glass of water and medication. Vil opened the door for me since I was holding on to the tray that everything was on. When I got into Rook's room he was on his phone and sitting up in bed. "I didn't regret anything" he said "you idiot, you shouldn't have kissed me while I was sick" I replied to him. "I still would have done it sick or not".

#rookhunt #twisted wonderland #twst #rook x reader #pomefiore

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hawks-feathers · 3 years

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Can i pretty pleaseeee have a iida x childhood crush reader who acts like kenma? Maybe the scenario could be maybe iida talking to class 1-A a story about him and reader going trick or treating when they were younger and they had a whole adventure ,while the reader is just playing videogames? Drink your water!✨

Yes of course :))I love this idea (and I’m a massive simp for iida so 😌). I’m drinking water 😌 so you better drink your water also 💕

Also quick authors note: I really am so so sorry to anyone whose followed recently or sent in a request. I was kinda on a hiatus and lacked motivation to write. With the new year I hope to stick to writing more. Even though I have a bunch of requests from my hiatus please, if you have a request send it in so I can write more and have more motivation 🥺

Iida x reader who’s also his childhood crush scenario!

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

Pairings: Iida x reader

Scenario: Iida and the reader are childhood friends and iida isn’t so subtle about his crush.

Warnings?: none fluff!

“Long term lovers” ~~ Iida imagine

“Alright everyone... I’m tired today so I’m gunna let the class rep decide what you guys do today” you hear suddenly as Aizawa walks in the classroom as he’s saying his famous “I’m tired” excuse. “Aren’t you always-.... and he’s asleep” you hear Momo say from the back of the class. Without even a second to spare everyone starts having their own conversations. Kirishima and Denki were trying to have a conversation with Bakugo who looked like he was going to throw one of them (probably Denki) through the window. You turn your head a little to the back of the room, opposite of you and see Momo, Tokoyami and Shoto. All seemed to be doing class work. Tokoyami was reading a huge book, well over a couple hundred pages. Shoto and Momo were talking but they looked like they might of been comparing notes? Shoto had his notebook on his desk but Momo was leaning towards Shoto with her notebook in her hand. Both were reading from Momos notebook with a puzzled look. Uraraka who was to your right leaned diagonal from her desk to talk with Midoriya who was right in front of you. It seemed they might’ve been talking about different Pro hero’s with Froppy occasionally butting in but you didn’t care enough to listen.

Iida loudly stood up from his seat behind you and started to the front of the class. You knew Iida, you’ve known him since you both were toddlers, you knew he was going to make you do work. Unfortunately for you today was a big day. A new game was being released and you were hell bent on buying it. So you brought your switch to school with hopes Aizawa would be tired (like he always is). As Iida walked by you grabbed his uniforms sleeve and tugged a little. This was your way of telling him you wanted to say something but there was either too many people around or you didn’t want others to hear you, kind of like a toddler with an adult almost. He looked down at you kind of puzzled with a little hint of worry when you did this then he leaned down so he was at face height with you and turnt his head so you could speak. “Iida im not feeling great today... do you think we could have a chill day?” You whispered in his ear, anxiety already rising. Apparently he could tell because he looked down at you hesitantly then sighed. You were so tunnel visioned on getting Iida before he had gotten to the front of the classroom you hadn’t realized all eyes were on you and Iida apparently everyone was waiting for Iida instructions.

As Iida walked behind the podium everyone’s eyes quickly followed him (to your relief) “okay... this is a one time thing” Iida said sternly. “Today we’ll just have a “chill day” I suppose we could tell funny stories” he says questioning himself almost. From your peripheral vision you saw everyone looking around the room, some were nodding or shrugging. Everyone seemed content with that. Out of no where Denki yells “WOAH LETS -“ he didn’t get far before Bakugo knocked him on the head. You quickly turn your gaze to Iida expecting him to start scolding Bakugo but you noticed he was looking at you. Quickly he changed his gaze to in front of him and coughed, you could’ve sworn he was blushing a little. “Well I guess I could start...” he sounds unsure. “Why don’t you tell us about your favorite memory?” Momo asks encouragingly from the back, you looked back and saw a small smile on her face, seemed she was genuinely interested. When you focused your attention back on Iida he looked so happy, his eyes were bright and he was smiling the biggest smile. You reached in your bag and took out your console to start it up. “I think I’ll tell you about the time me and y/n went trick or treating when we we’re probably 12 or 13!” He said cheerfully. Not taking your eyes off your console you smiled a soft smile.

“God we’ve been friends since we were born” Iida chuckled “ the first time our parents let us go trick or treating by ourselves we thought we were so cool” Iida said shaking his head ignoring the scoff that came from Bakugos desk. “ anyway we prepared the whole day, we forgot to sleep. When it came time to trick or treat y/n was tired... we probably didn’t walk a block before they were complaining so I had them get on my back haha I basically gave them a piggy back for miles before I realized they fell asleep” still looking down at your console a blush of embarrassment filled your face, you were glad your hair fell around it because you definitely felt some eyes on you waiting for a reaction. “That’s so precious” you hear Momo whisper from the back of the room “of course as soon as I realized I brought them back to my house, my parents wound up calling their parents and they just stayed the night in my room and I was forced to spend the night with my brother but I didn’t really mind” Iida smiled “of course you wouldn’t care , no ones going to complain about their crush sleeping in their bed” Bakugo leaves a snarky comment. When you heard that you stopped looking at your console but didn’t stop looking down, you were trying to listen.. as if looking at your game impacted your hearing. “I- crush? Well I don’t know about that..” Iida stammers “oh come on Iida, the way you talk about them and the way your face glows..” Momo cheers, hands clasped in front of her. soon your face was beet red and you now kind of hoped you had paid attention to Iida instead of play a game. “That’s enough....”Aizawas sleepy voice croaked from the ground. “Stop tormenting the class rep” Aizawa said Getting up from the ground, his nap was over and he was about to start something but you knew Iida and you were going to have a conversation after school. When no one was around

Post Authors note: I’m not a fan of this tbh, im so disappointed in myself for this one. I’m trying to get back into writing after a long break so please forgive me. Also if you have any requests my ask box is open and if you liked this considering giving it a heart?🥺

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mxchellesworld · 4 years

Note

Hi! I have a request if that's alright 🥺 can you do a Mgg or a Spencer Reid imagine where he loves on your stretch marks on your thighs & ones on your calves 💓 or one with where you squirt for the first time when you guys have sex & then get insecure about it. Thank you if you're able to! 🥺

Worship- Spencer Reid x Reader

synopsis; in which spencer loves on his girlfriend and shows her just how perfect she is

warnings; smut, unprotected sex, fingering, squirting, overstimulation

i decided a little drabble wasn’t enough and made this into a full fic

a/n: why did this hit me in my soul!! i’m writing this with a plus size reader in mind and combining both ideas, hope you enjoy my love :)

being with spencer reid was amazing in every way possible. from waking up to morning kisses, his goodnight texts when he was gone on cases, even his attempts at cooking, which usually ended up with a messy kitchen and loads of laughter. but the best part would be how beautiful he made you feel.

you were normally confident in your looks, being old enough to realize that a little extra cushion and stretch marks weren’t a problem at all. you were healthy and absolutely happy. however some days you couldn’t help but let those waves of self doubt wash over you.

spencer had noticed early on. when you woke up his arms were wrapped around you like normal, your back pressed against his chest and his warm hands on your soft tummy. he noticed you were awake by the way you squirmed at the feelings of his hands on you. turning around you were met with his hazel eyes glowing in the light flowing through the window.

you quickly pressed a kiss to his nose before getting up, your hands going to wrap around your torso that was barley covered by a little tank top. you walked into the bathroom and spencer was left in bed dumbfounded. usually you were all lovey in the morning. where were his extra cuddles?

he stayed in bed for a little waiting for you to come back. he figured you’d do your morning business so he picked up a book to read knowing you’d be out by the time he finished. but when 20 minutes passed and he didn’t hear any water running or a flush from the bathroom he got up to go check on you.

he thought maybe you were doing a face mask or painting your nails but what he didn’t expect was for you to be in the mirror examining yourself. to him you looked perfect.

your morning hair messy from a good sleep, tiny tank top putting your soft breasts on display and went down half way down the tummy he liked he rest his head on. the little boy shorts you had on accentuated your behind and don’t let him get started on your thighs, ever so thick and squishy which he loved to have in his hand as he drove or around his head in other situations.

you were broken out of your self examination when he called out for you, “hey sweetheart, what are we looking at?” he said wrapping his arms around your frame.

he could feel you squirming again being in his hold.

you sighed and let your hands run from your hips down to the tops of your thighs, “these stupid marks, they’re so ugly.”

spencer was shocked. how could anything about you be ugly. he went to sit on the toilet seat and pulled you to stand in front of him. he started to place little kisses all over the marks on your tummy and let his hands go under the sides of your panties rubbing on your hips.

“spence what are you doing?” he looked up into your eyes, his auburn ones blown with lust. “trying to show you just how perfect you are.”

he continued his trip of leaving little kisses all over your belly. you pulled him away by tugging a little on his hair. leaning down you pressed a kiss to his forehead. “i appreciate the effort handsome, but im anything but perfect. just look at me.”

his hands moved up to your waist, “i am looking at you y/n/n. you are the most beautiful woman i’ve ever known, inside and out. no amount of marks would ever make me think any different.”

your heart fluttered at his words. the sincerity of his tone topped with his large eyes looking up at you like if you hung the moon and stars. he started to stand up and pulled you with him back into your bedroom.

“strip for me pretty girl,” he said as he walked you to the edge of the bed.

you looked at him hesitantly and he went to caress your face, “please honey, just let me show you how a goddess of your nature should be worshiped.

your hands went to the bottom of the tank, pulling it up with a swift motion. the vision was something spencer would never get tired of seeing. perfect nipples peaked under the morning chill of the room. his hands went to your hips to help pull your panties down your legs.

once they were off he threw them somewhere in the room and motioned his head for you to lay back on your pillows. he swore his brain short circuited at the sight of you bare and spread out for him. he followed suit and took off his old tshirt and flannel pajama pants, getting settled in between your legs.

you looked down and were met with one of your favorite sights. the familiar mop of brown curls in between your thighs with equally brown eyes looking up at you, gauging your reactions.

“you were made for me angel, and i’ll spend the rest *kiss* of my life *kiss* proving it *kiss* to you *kiss*,” he said making his way from your right thigh over to your left. skipping the area where you needed him most. once he felt like you were ready for him, he let his hand slip through your folds, picking up some of your already dripping essence.

“spence please,” you whined.

“your wish is my command angel,” with that his tongue went to your folds, liking broad stripes to taste all of you. you moaned at the feeling and let your hand fall to his hair. his middle and ring finger found their way to your slit, easily slipping in and reaching that spot inside of you. spencer had your body memorized and knew how you play you like his favorite game.

you were swimming in pleasure, his pink lips wrapped around your clit as his long fingers curled and thrusted in your warm heat. while you moaned at his actions he moaned at the taste of you spilling all over his tongue.

he switched his motions and inserted another finger, making you let out louder whimpers at his actions. he let go of your clit to look up at you. he thought you looked absolutely breath taking, sheen of sweet glistening on your forehead and your face contorted in the pleasure that he was giving you. not to mention your chest rising up and down from your erratic breathing.

he would tell you were close from how you were starting to clench around his fingers. “cmon pretty girl, i know you’re close. let go for me.” his other hand went to rub circles on your clit as his eyes stayed on you, wanting to have a full view of you cumming embedded in his memory.

his words set you off and the knot in your tummy broke. you came with a loud moan of his name along with a string of curses. you tried to shut your legs but his lanky figure stopped you from doing so.

“hey y/n/n can you give me one more?” you nodded as he leaned down to press a kiss on your sweaty forehead. “always so good for me angel.”

he was painfully hard from watching you writhe in pleasure and was sure he wouldn’t last long but he was set on making his point absolutely known that you deserved to be worshiped.

swiping his length through your folds, you both gasped at the feeling. your thighs wrapped around his frame to pull him closer to you. he slipped in with ease and leaned down on his elbows so he was face to face with you.

his thrusts started out painfully slow. letting you feel inch by heavenly inch of his thick cock. you loved when he was vocal, letting out groans and moans at the feeling of your walls squeezing him. his head fell to the crook of your neck and you could feel him bit down on your shoulder.

your hands went to his back leaving little scratches at the feeling of him hitting the spot inside that made you see stars. the whole feeling was other worldly, being enveloped in his peppermint scent, the sounds of your mixed moans and skin slapping filled the room.

his thrusts sped up and you felt the knot in your tummy return but this one was different. almost like a full sensation. “im so close spence, want you to cum in me baby,” you let out between little whimpers.

“im right there sweetheart, make yourself cum for me.” your hand reached down to where you were both connected to rub on your clit, bringing you to your sweet release. however as he kept thrusting to reach his own your felt yourself let go even more. your essence gushing out down onto the sheets.

your walls clenching during your release led him to his end, spilling inside of you. as he slowed down he looked at you, face towards the side looking away from him.

“y/n whats wrong?” he asked rubbing your shoulder before pulling out slowly.

“that was so embarrassing.” was confused at what you meant until he looked down to see the wet spot between your legs.

“hey hey don’t worry,” he said wrapping you in his arms. “thats completely natural and just proves i did my job in worshiping you how i should.”

you snorted at his confidence and pressed a kiss to his chest before pulling away.

“why don’t you go start a bath while i change the sheets?’ he asked pushing some hair behind your ear.

you nodded and made your way to the bathroom on shaky legs. this time when you looked in the mirror you saw nothing but faint love bites and a body worth being treated as such.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x plus size reader #spencer reid headcanon #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds smut #matthew gray gubler smut #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler x plus size!reader #mgg smut #mgg x reader #mgg #plus size!reader #chellewrites

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wesimpforxiao · 3 years

Text

Inception: Chapter 4

"Tch!" Your forearm blocked a particularly heavy strike from Childe. It was sure to be bruised tomorrow, but the pain was so freeing. Maybe you should be attacking the Fatui more often if fighting made you feel THIS good.

"Don't tell me you're tired already," Childe smirked. "I haven't even gotten to see you use your vision yet!"

The lanterns lighting the city below vaguely illuminated the mountainside in which the two of you were fighting. It was the perfect view of both city and sea. Childe was interested in seeing the fantastic firework show, but the way things were going right now, he was more interested in testing your limits.

"Enough about that already," you growled and thrust your elbow into his side. The small 'oomph' that he exhaled made you a little too happy. He's wanted a fight with you ever since he came back that day, and even more so since you reunited. Who were you to refuse him now? Sure, you've refused in the past, but the anger and bitterness that came flooding back while you were at the festival needed relief. Ajax needed to know how much he hurt you all those years ago, whether you directly told him or not.

Childe, oblivious to the reason behind your sudden willingness to fight, was more than delighted to fight you. You must've been pretty desperate to change the subject of your phobia if you chose fighting as the alternative! That didn't stop him from feeling a little bad for pushing the subject, but the thrill of battle soon overcame the guilt and a new fascination overwhelmed his senses.

He was right. You are like him, even if it's just when you're angry. He can hone that: train you into becoming a warrior to be reckoned with. Childe held no intentions to convince you to join the Fatui, but instead prevent your potential from being wasted. He'd give you the opportunity to grow from amateur to expert. If you managed to surprise him in this moment, only archons would know exactly what he thought of you.

The harbinger steadied himself and threw his forearm out in time to block your swing, then countered with one of his own to your gut. It wasn't often that he trained in hand-to-hand combat, but that didn't make him any less deadly. He had to pull his punches to prevent from hurting you--though if we're being honest, he completely forgot to do that after the first couple minutes. It's not like you minded anyway. Childe was also slightly impressed at your strength; your looks were definitely deceiving and it worked to your advantage. He had underestimated you.

No wonder his men were complaining about the vigilante so much.

He caught your roundhouse kick aimed for his head and threw you off balance. The grass didn't soften your landing. The sole of his boot sat square in the middle of your chest as he towered over you. "Not bad," he praised with a raising of his lips. "I can see why you chose antagonizing the Fatui as a hobby." Something flashed in your eyes, but Childe wasn't sure what it was.

Your fist slammed into the side of his knee, knocking him off of you. As he fell you grabbed his arm so he'd land on his back. You were the one on top of him now with your knees pinning his shoulders into the grass. "Do you even remember?"

Childe blinked, and the bloodlust and thrill that was in his eyes was gone. Remember? What are-- You were struggling with something dark; your hands pulled the grass out from besides his head, eyes wavering with the slightest bit of hope swirling in the depths of pain. Seeing your expression, Childe parted his lips to speak. "Reed--?"

"Heh, forget it," you sniffed, swiping the bottom of your nose with your thumb and sitting up straighter as you vacantly analyzed the blood that now painted your finger.

BOOM! C-r-a-c-k-l-e....!

The Mingxiao lantern exploded somewhere behind you. The lights from the explosives cast a prolonged glow that illuminated Childe beneath you, but you were still staring at your hand. It was hard not to think about that night with your father. What could you have done to change the outcome? What could have helped you reach Ajax when he returned a different child? Based on your fight just now, he's never stopped looking for something to take his anger out on; a cruel contrast to the friendly toy seller demeanor. Meanwhile, Childe: What would've happened if you had fallen into the Abyss with him?

The lights were beautiful from Childe's point of view, but not for the common reason; they were blocked out save for the ones peeking out from behind your shoulders and head. You were backlit with bright colors--reds, blues, greens, yellows and oranges. Each cast a soft glow to your silhouette. The thoughtful look on your face while you refused to look his way was enticing, what with the sweat that slowly rolled down your temple and the forming bruises splattering across your arms. And the bloody nose he gave you--the blood that slowly trickled its way down to your upper lip--sent a pleasurable chill down his spine. You were a breathtaking mess of art.

He briefly wondered if you thought the same of him, but you never glanced down even after the lights of the lantern had faded.

...................

A few miles westward, at the base of Mount Tianheng. Ten minutes before the release of the Mingxiao lantern.

"Alright boys," a dark figure emerged from the shadows of the mountain and scanned the crowd of twenty-plus men all dressed in black robes. The gruff voice that erupted from the man was enough to silence the hushed whispers between comrades in arms. "Our scouts confirm the whereabouts of the target in the Northland Bank. Security is minimal as expected. Our primary objective is to retrieve those documents. Understood?"

Silent nods all around. Not one uttered a word, their obedience absolute. This was the man that compensated them fairly compared to Her Majesty the Tsaritsa. Injustices laid out against them by their superiors in the Liyue division of the Fatui will be paid in due time. Now that there were enough committed to the cause, the master's plan will be put into action.

"The Fatui will fall," he bellowed.

"The Fatui will fall! The Fatui will fall! The Fatui will fall!" The servicemen dispersed as quickly as they heeded his words, shouts of determination fading into murmurs then silence.

"Charlie," the leader gestured towards his right-hand man. "A word."

"Yes, sir?" The brunette's wolf-like ears perked up at the voice of his master. It wasn't unusual that he was given a separate mission during times like this, so he prepared himself with a jaw clenched in anticipation.

"Though I doubt any of them would be caught in this operation by either party, I am not risking you for...obvious reasons. I have a separate matter to discuss with you." Eyes like a snake's watched Charlie with both thoughtfulness and pride. Charlie was by far the most trustworthy, being one of the few recruits that were in this group the longest. He's succeeded all expectations, to say the least. "You've mentioned before about a rogue citizen attacking the Liyue Fatui?"

"Yes, sir."

"Any new information on them?"

"Well," Charlie shifted his weight to his other foot and pulled at the collar of his jacket. "According to one of the agents, it's a she. The lack of evidence she leaves during expeditions indicate she's had some time to plot her attacks and escape routes...she's more of a threat to them than those who are joining our ranks--at least on the agent-level. Master Childe seems rather unconcerned with her."

"I see. Well, if you're up for a greater challenge, find her. And when you do, recruit her. With her skillset, the destruction of the Liyue Division will happen a lot faster."

"Yes, sir." This challenge wouldn't be easy. It was unusual for there to be someone like him in the ranks of the Fatui, but perhaps this could be an advantage for finding this vigilante that's been the talk of the Fatui for so long.

....................

Childe had parted ways with you a few minutes ago and decided to check in with the bank before bed. The city streets were still bustling with partiers and night owls, so he took the shortcut through neighboring alleyways to avoid the foot traffic.

He still couldn't figure out why you went quiet after sparring. Wasn't sure if he missed something--a cue, a word, a phrase...what was it? And why was it bugging him so much? His chest was tight and palms sweaty, his heart was even racing a bit. It was unusual for him to be so on-edge. His worries were rudely interrupted when he reached the stairs that led up to the bank.

Millelith.

"Why aren't you helping us?! We told you everything we know! We need those documents back!" Nadia was practically screaming at one of the authorities. "I told you, those documents are im--" Spotting Childe, she let out a sigh of relief. "Oh thank Her Majesty--We've been robbed, Master Childe."

"Robbed?"

"Mm, yes. The safe was broken into, but not a single mora was taken. The reception desk is in disarray, as is Andrei's office...papers are strewn about this way and that, and the documents Andrei was holding for you are missing."

"...I see."

"And these...these imbeciles aren't helping! They're saying there's nothing to do but make a report!"

"I understand the situation. I'll be taking it from here. Please return to your post, Nadia."

She turned on her heel. "Yes sir!"

Childe faced the Millelith again now that it was just him and them remaining. "Any leads?"

"N-No, sir." The taller one, who was seemingly the one in charge of the investigation, held a stern expression as he stared eye-to-eye with the harbinger. "No witnesses. Whoever pulled this off did so with help. The theory is at least five people were involved."

"Five?" Childe couldn't help but scoff at such a ridiculous idea. "And there were no witnesses at all? That's not possible."

"Sir--"

"No! You don't understand. That's impossible. Our security is too tight for even one person to slip through. There had to be someone. Are you sure you crosschecked those who are on duty?"

The guard just shrugged. He wasn't even interested in hearing what Childe had to say! Even the other guards that were accompanying him appeared bored and even annoyed that they had to deal with the Fatui.

Seeing this, the harbinger pulled at his hair. Steady now, he reminded himself, Don't lose your temper here. "If I may, I'd like to speak with your leading supervisor."

"You're lookin' at him," the lead guard answered with an arrogant smirk that pissed Childe off even more.

"Tch--Whoever's in charge of you."

"Sorry, but he's off-duty at the moment. You can speak with him at the civil affairs tomorrow evening."

"Right." Childe grit his teeth and took an extra deep breath to calm himself. Of course, it didn't work. Damn them! If I could have it my way, they'd be lying in a pool of their own blood right here and now for their audacity to ignore a crime against us--We fund them, for crying out loud! Perhaps I should send for the Tsaritsa's wisdom-- If it weren't for Lady Signora keeping him in the dark in regards to Morax's gnosis, he wouldn't feel like a dog on a tight leash right now. The great weapon of war forced to heel for the sake of the cryo archon's image. Childe made his way for Andrei's office with clenched fists.

Sure enough, it was trashed. Every document, every book, every folder lay strewn about or trampled on. Nadia and another agent were busy sorting through and placing each in their respective places; Andrei was out near the docks so it would be awhile before anyone managed to get ahold of him...

Childe knelt at the safe under the desk that sat before the set of double-paned windows. It was empty. Every single letter from the Tsaritsa was inside; each detailing next and future steps for the Fatui and Northland Bank; classified documents that updated him of the politics occurring in the Motherland; evidence of...certain matters that would no doubt give the Qixing enough power to ban the presence of Fatui in Liyue. All of it was gone.

Who'd go to such sophisticated lengths to get their hands on these? The Qixing abide by the law, so they wouldn't do something so unorthodox. The Millelith were definitely biased and held grudges against him, so they're not entirely ruled out...What was the suspects' goal? A smear campaign? If it is, they got it.

If he hadn't been away from the office, surely they wouldn't have been so bold as to pull off a bank heist. But one good thing came out of this: You definitely weren't involved since you were with him. Wait...whoever did this must've been watching him. You could be involved if you had help, but you've never mentioned anyone helping you. So you and this situation were completely unrelated. That had to be the case.

Regardless, his every move is being watched. The only question that remains is, by who?

#childe genshin impact #childe tartaglia #tartaglia genshin impact #genshin x reader #tartaglia x reader #fanfiction #inception

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scarletwidowaf · 3 years

Text

Ghost Of You - scarlet widow

(wanda maximoff x natasha romanoff)

summery: Thanos was gone, vision was gone, tommy and billy were gone, agetha was gone, natasha was gone and so was westview and wanda's perfect bubble. So now what?

Words: 1136

Warnings: none? Grief maybe :(

A/N: im back(!) with a story idea nobody asked for! Let me know what yall think. Also sorry for any grammar problems and stuff, its like 1 am and im sick ❤️

masterlist | story index | AO3 | Wattpad

________________________________________

It was another day of wanda doing absolutely nothing. It became a routine by now.

at the beginning after the west view fiasco wanda was hiding from the world while studying agetha's book, but now, after months of studying, she was tired.

Her tiredness wasn't the thing who sacred her, it was the realization that everything she knew was gone.

She remembered the fight against thanos clearly although it happened 5 years ago. But then they lost and she, and half of the universe population vanished. And then she was back again, and it was war again. But this time things were different.

She had to fight both thanos's army and the sinking feeling of depression and grief. For the snap survivors its been 5 years, but for her everything was still fresh in her mind, wakanda, the snap, vision's death.

After the fight ended and thanos was defeated she found out the price they paid for it.

Tony was dead, steve wasn't coming back, and natasha, her Natasha, was dead as well.

There was nothing simple about wanda and natasha, and maybe that's why wanda chose vision.

Vision was a good man, loyal, loving and caring. in a way, vision complete wanda, and she loved him.

But Natasha was special. No mattar what happened or when it did, Natasha was there to pick up the pieces.

The ex agent was her first friend in the avenger's facility, not long after she became her best friend, and later on she became the only person wanda ever loved except vision.

Not that she ever said anything about it. Wanda was wanda, and natasha was natasha, and everything about them was messy, and painful and risky.

Wanda wanted stability. She had enough risks in her professional life, as an avenger- or ex avenger/outlaw.

She wanted a house with a stable partner, maybe some kids and even a dog. And as much as natasha wanted these for them, which was desperately, a part of her couldn't find the courage to let go of her past. She was hunted and bruised and wanda couldn't help her because how can you help someone who doesn't try help themselves.

So vision died, and natasha died, and wanda was alone. Full of pain and anger and grief.

And then west view happened

Wanda got her perfect life with the beautiful house, loving and stable partner, two beautiful boys and she even got a dog for a small amount of time.

It was perfect, so of course it wasn't meant to last.

And then here she is, tired.

After months of studying agetha's book and hiding from the world, she decided to take a break from her soon-to-be-villian hideout and go somewhere else and rest.

So she took a trip to London. It was busy enough for her to hide from view and unwanted eyes, yet gave her the amount of normalcy she's been aching to have.

Saying wanda didn't look for a spell that can resurrect the dead will be a lie. But she didn't succeed, so instead, she sat in a bubble bath in a rented small flat in London with a glass of wine in one hand and a book about a prince in a foreign land in the other.

And then she saw her. It wasn't even scary, she didn't even flinch like other people would've. She just stared at the woman that was sitting on her bathroom's cabinet.

"What are you doing here natasha?" Wanda asked and put her book away. Prince arthur will have to wait.

"I came to talk" the older woman answered, her eyes fixed on wanda's face. Not daring looking any lower.

A few years ago it might have made wanda nervous.

natasha was practically a goddess in her eyes. With her beautiful ginger hair, green vibrant eyes and a sculptured body who was a result of years in her line of work.

"I have nothing to say to you"

Wanda said back calmly and took a sip from her wine.

"Im sorry"

Natasha simply said. Her hair was red again and wanda liked it.

"You're sorry?" Wanda said with a small bitter laugh. "Seriously?"

"I am" natasha answered calmly.

wanda got up from the water. Her naked body dripping water while she reached her hand for the towel.

"So you came here.. to apologize?" Wanda asked with a small chuckle while wrapping the towel around her body.

Natasha moved her gaze softly from her body to her face. Natasha looked lost and wanda couldn't stop her smile. The way she saw it, It was about time the roles will be reversed and natasha will be the one admiring the younger girl.

"I do" natasha said again. She tried to keep herself calm but her hands played with her bracelet. The one wanda gave her when they were on the run, a friendship bracelet. How foolish of them, wanda thought.

"You came here to apologize.. for dying?" Wanda asked to make sure.

"Its sounds weird when you say that like that" natasha said with a small, awkward chuckle.

"It is weird. You died. And now you're here" wanda said, her eyes staring at the older woman.

"And yet, you didn't seem surprised to see me"

Natasha said back with her famous half smile.

"Apparently weird is my new brand" wanda said and started to dress. "how are you here, nat? And why?" She asked.

"I dont know. All I remember was falling, the last thing i saw was Clint and the last thing i thought about was you." Natasha admitted with a small blush.

"You as me? You as the people who were gone in the snap?" Wanda asked while trying to close the clips in her new bra.

natasha jumped from the cabinet and stood behind her.

"May i?" She asked the younger girl.

Wanda nodded. Natasha closed the clips and sigh.

"You as you" natasha said softly.

"It felt like a dream, one moment i hit the ground and died- and i know i died. But then i was here." She continued the story.

Wanda froze, she turned around to natasha, her eyes looking into the green one she still loved.

"I think- i think i did something" she said and natasha held her gaze. Waiting for an explanation.

"I tried some things. But i didn't thought i succeeded" she continued.

"You tried to bring me back to life?" Natasha asked, a bit confused.

"Yes, and it worked" wanda bit her lip. Her hand searching for natasha's, wanting to make sure she wasn't imagining.

"I dont think it did" natasha said and her eyes held tears.

"What do you mean?"

Natasha looked down, and wanda did the same.

Wanda's hand did find Natasha's and unfortunately, it went right trough it.

#wanda x nat #wandanat #wanda x natasha #natasha x wanda #wanda maximoff #natasha romanoff #black widow #scarlet witch #scarlet widow #marvel #avengers endgame #wandavision

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kanene-yaaay · 3 years

Text

Sleep

Kanene’s note: Heya! It’s me, Mario!!! dfghjkrgthjk jk jk. Okay, that idea hit me in the middle of the night and I think it’s very cute!! So have a bit of tickles and fluff and teases today!

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* This characters don’t belongs to me! They all belong to the anime/manga Boku no Hero.

* This is a SFW tickle fanfic, so, if you don’t appreciate this kind of content, please, look for another blog. There are a plenty of fabulous arts in this site!! ^w^)b

* This is Switch!Yamada with Switch!Aizawa. They’re in a romantic relationship. Around 2.200 words.

* The Ler!Aizawa part was inspired by these tickle-headcanons! They’re absolutely amazing!!!!

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any and every advice is very very welcome! \(-w-)/

* Consume some of your comfort content! Fanfic, series, movies... anything that makes u happy! Drink water, sleep, eat and love! Today is another day and I’m proud that we’re both still here.

[~*~]

Yamada woke up to complete darkness.

Which wasn't such a rare occurrence. With both his and his husband’s tendencies of having migraines their room was often bathed in a total lack of light, and that, together with the fact of Aizawa being an incorrigible cuddle bug who soaked his ‘daily dose of morning snuggles’ – as Hizashi loved to call them and loved even more the other’s blushed face and deadly glare directed at him every time he dared to say such thing - was enough for him to find no surprise at all in feeling the pressure of Aizawa basically using him as his own personal bed.

“Morning, babe.” He maneuvered himself to gently kick Shouta’s legs off him, which resulted in the immediate locking of arms on the blonde’s waist, Shouta mumbling whatevers as he nuzzles his chest, making Yamada giggles quietly. He began to comb Aizawa’s hair with his fingers, both out of adoration with how much adorable his husband could be and to take it from his own face so he would be able to see what time it was.

Eight in the morning. Yep. Time to start getting ready for their meeting with Nedzu and his usual Saturday patrol. He would also need some time in between those to call the Radio’s station and see if everything was ok with today’s interviewed, get a couple more of songs to play tonight and make sure to come back at two in the afternoon so he and Eri could have some quality time as Shouta slept a bit to not pass out on his night patrol.

OK. That sounds like a plan! Time to begin the day with a proper breakfast since both were equally horrible in keeping a healthy routine and he would probably forget to eat lunch since Eri wouldn’t be there with him serving as an adorable, lovely reminder that humans have basic needs in order to be alive.

He tried to move, receiving an annoyed growl as an answer, the arms squeezing a bit firmer. Hizashi snorted.

“Sho, I need to make breakfast and wake up Eri, okay?” He kissed the top of his head and traced an imaginary flower on his cheek, voice soft, feeling the other melt on him, humming happily. “You can sleep a few minutes more.”

“No. Warm.”

“I will bring you our cats, you can show your undying love to them, then.” Hizashi tried to pry the other’s grip from him, unsuccessfully. “Come on, let me go. We have a meeting to attend with Nedzu today, remember?”

“Fuck ‘im.”

Hizashi controlled himself to not bark a laughter, fingers itching to get his phone and amplify his blackmail treasures. “Shh, he will hear you.”

“’don’t wanna cats,” Aizawa’s tune was slurred and he deposited a tired kiss on his bare shoulder, “I wan’ you.”

And damn if that didn’t turn his weak heart in a happy gooey puddle, his smile going from one ear to another and his resolve to be a responsible adult and get out of the bed was almost burned to total inexistence.

Key word: Almost.

Especially when the raven haired adult sighs contently, his breath lightly tickling his neck and leading to a quite evil idea to gain form and color on his mind. His smile got wider, eviller.

“Okay, babe.” Yamada’s hands rested on the other’s sides, going up, fingers smoothly running across his ribs, his nails barely grazing the skin as they went slowly back and forth, back and forth. A soft ‘tsk’ flew on the air as the smaller began to squirm. “Let’s have some fun then, shall we?”

His index fingers stopped their dance to focus on his lowest rib, circling that sweet spot in the middle of it while the other fingers concentrated in clawing the horribly sensitive skin around it, staying firm on their task even when Aizawa jumped with the ticklish jolts that hit him.

“H-hi-hizasshhhi.” His tone was low, warning. His brain still trying to wake up enough while his body wobbly fought to escape from the sensations, his struggles increasing specifically when his husband adjusted him so he would be laying on his back on the top of him, arms criss crossed on his chest.

“Oh, is someone finally waking up? ~” Aizawa scrunched, Yamada’s breath hitting his ears. However, his attempts proved themselves futile as the other took as his duty to nibble, huff and puff on the ticklish spot, going from one ear to another with ease, finally breaking his husband’s barriers and being rewarded by a low, fast giggly fit. “I wonder what I did to deserve that my incredible, handsome decided to bless my morning with his sunny presence today!”

“Hizashi, I am going to k-ILL” His snickers suddenly raised an octave as the blonde gave a quick squeeze on his hips that made his waist jerk instinctively.

“Now, now, is that way to greet the love of your life?” Hizashi whined. “Stop laughing, Sho! I’m trying to hold a serious conversation here but something tells me you’re distracted.” Yamada kept lazily poking him, slow enough to leave him breathing properly, but quick enough to tear snorts and chuckles from his firmly pressed lips.

“D-d-don’t.” His face was in flames as a barely muffled squeak fell from his mouth as Hizashi gave a quick nip right behind his left ear, letting out an adoring ‘Awww. Isn’t he adorableee?~’ in the process.

“I am- I am going to get you back for that! You know I will!”

“So grumpy, so cutee. ~”

He tried to turn in order to give his beloved a deadly glare which usually made his students and villains fear for their lives, his eyes only barely catching his husband’s bright smile before his breath was stole when his partner resolved to attack, unmerciful squeezes mixed with a couple of thumbs digging energetically on his hips, kneading, tickling.

His laughter filled the room.

“HIZASHI!!” He kicked and trashed, but in vain.

“What is it, babe?” The other started to switch between his tickle spots, knowing he couldn’t take it too long or they would be late. “Wow! I didn’t know you could be so alive in the mornings, love!! Have you been hiding that from your awesome husband all along?” Nails scratching on his armpits, fingers prodding his ribs, wriggling on his waistline, drumming on his belly. “All that beautiful laughter? All that wonderful snorts? And giggles? And squeals? Now, I am wounded, Sho! I thought we didn’t keep secrets from each other!”

When nothing except laughter and squirming answered him, he decided to stop, deciding the few minutes of fun were already enough adrenaline to maintain Shouta conscious enough until he prepared his coffee. He quickly laid the other on the mattress, resting some kisses on his face as his husband got his breath back.

“You-” He gasped, hiding his smile behind his hand. “You better run.”

In a second Hizashi was out of their bed, “OkayloveyousomuchbabeI’mgoingtowakeEriupdon’tkillmeIloveyousosomuchbye.”

And run he did.

[~*~]

Shouta dumped his capture weapon on the couch, immediately seeing three blurs of fur dashing from his peripheral vision directly to the object, meowing and getting tangled as they fiercely ‘fought’ with it. Shouta knew that this being his weapon and therefore an important part of his work, he shouldn’t let his cats play with it. However, as he petted two fluffy heads that popped from the cloth and the exhaustion started to totally take over his body and actions, he couldn’t bring himself to care. He had some spare scarves somewhere, he was sure.

“Dumb cats.” He fondly remarked, scratching their newest kitten under her chin before adventuring to his room, stopping only to check on Eri and relax as he found her calmly sleeping on her bed. Good.

His eyes narrowed as he noticed the light coming from under his bedroom, sighing and putting his eyedrops, already aware of the other fight he would have to face.

“Hizashi,” it’s his greeting. The blonde hums, glare still clued on the screen in front of him, head resting on one of his hands, “it’s three in the morning and we have classes tomorrow. Turn that thing off.”

“Hypocrisy, hypocrisy.” Yamada sings, hand rocking in the beat of his imaginary melody, the tiredness dripping from his words. Yet he took off his headphones, turning on his direction with alert eyes. “Are you hurt?”

“Nah, slow night.”

“Good.” Hizashi smiled. A small, true smile that spread a warm feeling across his chest and only made his resolute to protect his husband from every bad thing in the world grew stronger, even if the ‘bad thing’ which threatened him right now was his horrible sleep schedule. “We saved some dango for you. It’s on the fridge.”

Aizawa nodded, watching him turn back to his computer. “I’m going to grade 1-A tests when I am back.” And that perked the other’s attention, since both had the habit of grading tests together in order to get some quality time on their incredibly busy lives.

That is why the taller was sitting on the bed with a pack of papers in his hands when Shouta came back, falling on the mattress face first, relaxing on the soft fabric. But, he couldn’t concentrate on that feeling now, turning to his left and trapping Yamada with his arms around his sides, legs entangling.

“Sleep.” He clued his face on the other’s stomach, his voice vibrating across the skin and gathering a mix of snort and squeal, probably because of the ticklish sensation.

Oh. Ticklish.

“Babe, I really can’t right now. There are those videos I asked for my students to do and I really need to analyze and give them the results before the weekend.” Aizawa scolded his expression so his devil smirk wouldn’t be noticed by Hizashi, instead he looked up, locking their eyes, his features inexpressive as ever.

Hizashi bit his lower lip.

He frowned, intense glares.

“Okay, okay! You know I am weak for those kitten eyes, your cheater.” The blonde pouted and pointedly ignored the smug shining on his partner’s face. “But this is only a break, ok? Just some cuddles and then I’m going to finish my work.”

Aizawa hummed, not quite agreeing, not disagreeing. Yamada laid down and chuckled as the raven haired adult quickly hid his face on his neck, a hand absently running on his back and melting his strict pose.

“Cuddlebug.”

A yelp escaped from his lips as Aizawa used a thumb to prod the so, so sensitive skin between his shoulder blades. The morning events from yesterday fell on him as a bucket of cold water, sending shivers down on his spine, essentially when Yamada tried to wiggle away, finding his form very well secured on his love’s arms.

“Shouta, no.” Shouta hummed, his voice vibrating on the sweet spot that was his neck, his stubble helping in nothing the giggles which already began to bubble on his throat. “Shouta, please, my love, light of my life,” he could almost feel the other’s wicked grin grow, the hand tensing behind him, “no, no, no! I can’t! You know I can’t! Shouta, I-”

And with no warning a loud shriek - which didn’t break their windows due how fast Aizawa activated his own quirk - dashed from his mouth, laughter blooming as a mix of pokes, scratches and kneading along the whole extent of his upper back, even giving some special attention to his ribs and spine, kept him in stitches.

His back arched at the tickly tickles, sending him directly to the unbearable nuzzles of his husband, the main reason for so many squeaks and squeals make themselves present on his uncontrollable laughter.

“Tsk, tsk. One would think that such a known pro-hero would be able to put up with a better fight.” Nuzzle. Scribble. Unintelligible pleas of mercy. Raspberry. “Always so easy to read…You could at least try to pretend you aren’t loving every. Second. Of. It.”

“Shouta! Nono! Shuhuhut up! Shut up!”

“It’s not my fault you were always so defenseless to teases. What about we train you to endure them?”

Hizashi shook his head, laughing and shrieking too much to gather a real answer.

And, as sudden the attack came, it was gone. The hand went up to gently massage his scalp, tearing a relaxed sigh from Yamada as he fought to get his breath back, high-pitched giggles still tripping from his lips since the light tickles continued on his poor neck, sporadic kisses and eventual nibbles on the spot right under his chin maintaining his gigantic, bright smile.

“So ticklish, so helpless. Just a few well placed touches and I can already defeat you.”

“You talk as if you were any less susceptible.” A squeeze on his knee warned him about the possible consequence of his words. Hizashi pinched his thigh in retaliation, although much less energetic.

“Don’t. Different from you, I want to get some real sleep.” And then he started to comb the blonde hair, Yamada’s eyelids began to drop, his tiredness now being much more present as the other used his number one melt spot against him.

“Cheater…”

“You will survive.” Shouta tilted his head up and kissed his husband’s lips, also starting to drift away as Hizashi’s arms pulled him closer.

“Good night, babe.”

“Night.”

#Switch!Aizawa #Switch!Yamada #Ticklish!Shouta #Ticklish!Hizashi #bnha tickles #bnha tickling #Aizawa *being tickled*: I am going to get you back! You know I will/ Mic *chuckles*: I am in danger :]#They're precious #Romantic relationship #Mouth tickles #Light and hard tickles #Teases and tickles #Kanene's Fic #Kanene's Fanfic #Kanene's Art #<333 #I didn't proofread this so I will be making some edits on the future!

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sicjimin · 3 years

Note

Hi! If you're taking request I have one :) Yoongi with a really high fever but doesnt tell anyone and almost passes out during dance practice which worries the others

A.N : aaahh im sorry this taking too long T.T i hope you like this one & meets with your expectation! the idea is so .. interesting i love it!!, and sorry for the lame ending ......... T.T

TW : slight emeto, fainting

Yoongi knows his body was about to give up when he had already been sleep-deprived for the past 3 days, and in addition to that, their concept photos yesterday was involving contact with water and in the middle of winter wind. But he didn't expect that his body will give up in a literal meaning , and in the middle of dance practice, which causes panic from the members as they hovering over him.

Let's retract back —

Yoongi wakes up this morning, already acknowledge that he had a fever latching on him when he's still shivering under his blanket when the air conditioner is off. His assumptions are proven true when the world is tilting the moment he tries to get up and walk to the bathroom, his muscles feel achy, and the wooden floor becomes too cold for his feet. He half-conscious walking to the bathroom, freshens his pale face before rummaging the thickest hoodie he had, and go down to the kitchen where the rest of the members already clattering loudly. The first thing Yoongi sees is Jimin, who's currently putting the coffee pot on.

"You look like shit." Seokjin comments as Yoongi glares at him through half-opened eyes which are barely visible with his blurred sleepy eyes. "I feel like shit", he mumbled as he shoves down few bites of toast that Seokjin prepared, gulped down his daily iced americano before walk away and settled on the couch, resting his already exhausted body for a few minutes before they need to go.

Someone plopped beside him, but the mild thumping on his head didn't let him to open his eyes. That's too much effort. "Hyung are you okay? You look pale"

Yoongi only hums as an answer, letting silence seeped between them before he huffs a warm breathe and stands up as he heard Namjoon calling them to go. He ruffles Jungkook's hair, "I'm fine. a little bit tired" before he walks behind the other.

It's Jungkook.

It's 2 PM now, he has one hour before he needs to get up for dance practice. He let himself succumbing the sickness in his body, his teeth clattering as he trying his best to cover himself with a padded jacket and curled his body smaller in the darkness of his studio. The medicine took longer to kick in. He didn't know how long it had had already been since he's tossing and turning on the couch until someone knocking on his door, calling him that its time for practice.

The rest of the day went like a blur for Yoongi as he's too busy fighting his body to not completely shut down. He managed to go through some interviews as scheduled, downing a bowl of porridge that he requested to the staff as lunch with rice is way too heavy for his upset stomach and bitter tongue, take some medicine, and working few parts of the track before his head spinning.

Two knocks

One knock

Yoongi still didn't have it in him to get up. Then he heard the passcode ringing in and the door opened. He groans when the light blazing over his head for a minute before someone that barging into his studio quickly apologize and turning it off again.

Three knocks

"Yoongi-ah! What's wrong? Are you sick?", Yoongi didn't manage to answer any of that train of questions before a cold palm touching his burning forehead. He unconsciously whines when it goes away. It feels nice. " Oh my god, you're burning up!!"

"Hyung", Yoongi rasps, few coughs slipping as he tried to sit up. Seokjin quickly offered him water from his table. " Gosh, Yoongi. You're sick! Why are you even here? Let's go home!", Seokjin tugging his hand, while his other hands start collecting Yoongi's belonging. "Hyung .. i already took meds. Let's go to practice. I will go home with you guys after that"

Seokjin stops turn to Yoongi and give him a stern look. "What if your fever gets worse?" Seokjin asks, voice firm. "No, it wont hyung.. Please don't worry.. let's just go with the others to practice". Seokjin sigh, before reluctantly nodded.

They both headed out, Seokjin hands firm on Yoongi's shoulder as he is afraid the younger might trip on his feet if he let it go. They are greeted with the loud sound of music blaring echoes the room, he could see the other already do some stretching. Yoongi huff, before he drags himself to do the same. " Are you sure you can practice?", Seokjin asks once again. His eyes still trailed over the younger with worry. Yoongi nods, pushing his masks higher so the others couldn't see his pale feature. "Just, don't tell the others hyung. I don't want them to worry", he murmured. Seokjin didn't answer, but settled to stretching beside him.

The first round of practice went well, despite the aching in his muscle and thumping in his head getting worse, Yoongi manages to do it. He ducked his head down, almost groans in pain as he pants for air. It hurts.

"Water?", Yoongi opened his bleary eyes and meet with Seokjin's red face that also panting, with cold water on his hand. Yoongi gratefully accepts, sighing in relief when the liquid seeping down on his throat. "How are you doing?", Seokjin asks, gaining a shrug from the younger, " At least i'm sweating"

Seokjin rolled his eyes, " Don't force yourself"

"I won't"

In the second round of their practice, everything went downhill for Yoongi. He feels faint with every step he takes to dance. Every time he tries to move his legs he feels like it’s going to fail him and collapse underneath him. He can feel all the blood leaving his body as he moves. Not to mention how it's getting hard for him to catch his breath, the thumping in his head gets more prominent, almost lapping with the blaring sound of music. He didn't know when exactly he stopped on his feet, stared blankly on the floor that starts spinning under his feet . The whole room was now spinning around him, the lights seem to have faded out of focus, only a black hole was staring right through his eye. His sight slowly blurring, vision getting blurry. His breathing becoming heavier, he tries not to fall on his feet or knees but fails miserably. He doesn't know which one of the members screaming his name before it all goes black.

—

When Yoongi came back into consciousness, there was a throbbing pain on his head that made him want to groan in pain. He was feeling dizzy from the movement and could barely open his eyes. His ears felt numb, it sounded muffled but he tried to listen to them. What they were saying.

"Hyung!" A voice says. Yoongi flinches and tries to turn his head away, the loud ringing in his ears makes him nauseous. It hurt so bad.

"Hyung! Are you okay?!" Another voice comes and this time he tries to open his eyes, blinking at first, until he can see properly and get his bearings. Yoongi sits up, immediately leaning against something for support and then falls again. He can feel hands on his shoulder, supporting him.

"Hyung?! Hyung what happened? Do you need help?" A third voice. Yoongi doesn't want to look at who it is, he doesn't think he can stand without falling again and he isn't about to risk that. So he lies there, resting his head on the wall behind him.

"Dizzy .. " Yoongi mumbles to himself. Someone touches his cheek, gently moving his hair out of the way. With a hand on his forehead, checking temperature, Yoongi flinches and instinctively leans away from the touch.

"Min Yoongi what did i told you! Gosh, your fever getting worse", Seokjin exclaims. Yoongi heard everyone else talking again, with Seokjin shouting something about getting home. He didn't know. He wants to sleep.

" Yoongi, don't sleep. Can you move for me? We're going home", Seokjin asks, panic clear in his voice. He nods, then he feels himself being lifted up by the arms. He manages to open one eye just enough to make out the blurry shape of the surrounding, as he drags himself out, leaning most of his weight to Seokjin that holding him. Walks to the car feel way longer than Yoongi liking. Nausea that settled deep in his stomach now become worse as his inside jostles with every step he takes.

"Hyung", he croaked out, " Can we stop? i feel sick"

Before he knows, he already lurches forward along with his breakfast and his lunch earlier, soiling the green bushes under his feet. His throat burns, his eyes sting with tears, a burning sensation on his tongue. "Shh Yoongi.. it's okay. Everything is fine. Let it all out," Seokjin said, soothingly, though he did seem concerned. Yoongi can barely see through the tears streaming down his face. He squeezes his eyes shut when another stream of his stomach content gurgling up and rushing from his lips. His mouth was dry, but he could only focus on making sure that nothing would come up his throat, "I think I'm done", he rasped out weakly, not caring if it came out scratchy or wet.

He woke in the morning with a groggy feeling, feeling much better than yesterday had. When he rolled over, he saw 6 others figure scattering on his and Seokjin's room, with Seokjin sleeping on his side. He tried to shift his position when something wet fall over his forehead, a damp cloth. " Hyung? You're awake?", Hoseok raspy voice seeping through Yoongi's ears. He watched the younger yawn and stretch his body before plopping himself beside him.

The ride back felt like hours, even Yoongi spent most of it with sleeping. Once they got home, he stumbled into his room, falling face first onto his bed and letting himself finally fall asleep before he could hear any more of Seokjin trying to coax him into eating anything.

" Yeah I am", Yoongi managed, still feeling groggy, " Why are you here, isn't everyone have schedule today?"

"They come rushing yesterday and didn't want to leave you until you wake up, they said", Seokjin rasps as he collects himself.

"Yeah, you're scaring us hyung, and Seokjin hyung completely ignored us when we ask! So we just crashed here", Hoseok whines, " Are you feeling better?"

Yoongi bites off smile that wants to erupt from his lips, "I guess? not as shit as yesterday", he mumbled, almost yelps when a cool hand touching his forehead out of nowhere.

"At least your fever already breaking down", Seokjin hums before stand up, slapping Hoseok lightly on its way, "Wake up the others, i will make Yoongi something to eat"

#bts sickfic #tw emeto #tw vomit #sick!yoongi #caretaker!seokjin

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fox-steward · 3 years

Note

hi. i hope you don't mind me asking this but i need some advice.

i was born female, and ive always been a tomboy, sometimes in the most stereotypical way. i was also a little lesbian who didn't know it yet. but after my younger sibling came out to me as trans, i started second guessing everything about myself.

for the sake of my sibling, who im closer to than anyone in my life, i learned about what theyre going through to support them and ended up getting taken in myself. i consumed all the yaoi and gay fanfiction they did, i read up on all the identities that were within the trans umbrella and eventually i started to think i wasnt a girl at all, but my infact a feminine transboy.

i never was able to transition on account of my family but the growing inner hate i felt for myself made me want to because deep down I knew that no matterr what i said or believed, id never be the cis gay boys i, essentially, fetishised and craved to be. it made me miserable, but i wanted to be accepted so badly that i stuck with it. but then i fou d your blog and others like it, and reading through it, whole reevaluating myself made me realise how misguided my mindset was.

despite realising that me being a tomboy is perfectly fine, i cant help but cling to that idea of being a boy, even though i have no idea what it means to "be a boy" or "feel like a boy". all i know is what the media portrays boys, feminine boys and gay boys to be like, and i clung to that idea for so long that i believed it to be my identity.

i just wanted to ask, if i can, how can i get over this mindset? i feel terrible because my younger sibling still identifies as trans without a shadow of a doubt, and my questioning of myself makes me feel awful, but i also feel bad because... i dont know who i am really now. how can i just be me again?

sorry this is long. any advice would be very very much appreciated.

it sounds like you’ve been through it, anon. whew! i just wanna acknowledge what a mindfuck you’ve been through, and it’s normal to feel no so great.

i actually think you’re grieving, strange as that sounds, but hear me out. being female is not easy, being a masculine woman comes with its own set of challenges, and imagining yourself as a “gay transboy” was an escape from all that. you could imagine a future for yourself where you grew up to be a gay man, not a gay woman. it’s worth noting relationships between men are the only sexual/romantic pairing that isn’t party to misogyny within the relationship itself.

it’s intoxicating to imagine we could have that ourselves, huh? it happened to me too, and i’m not even actually attracted to males at all, i was really just seduced by the idea of a relationship of equals.

but this. is. a. fantasy. one we as female people can never achieve.

so you’re grieving the vision you had for your future. your grief doesn’t care that the thing you promised yourself is impossible.

you’re undergoing another shift in the way you see yourself, the way you imagine yourself moving through the world. that’s hard, anon. being a tomboy, while absolutely lovely and perfectly fine, can be really difficult in our misogynistic society. it’s like that dworkin quote i’m about to butcher—something something absolutely excruciating to be fully aware of the misogyny all around us. you get the gist. and she’s right, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.

so idk, i don’t have any specific advice, but i do know a lot about grief. with grief, you gotta accept you’re gonna feel shitty for a while and absolve yourself of the responsibility of ~fEeLiNg HaPpY~ for now. i’m being flippant because happiness is a mirage anyway. we get pricks of joy, moments of brightness or laughter, flow and contentment, enjoyment, pleasure, and these fill in between other moments of discomfort or monotony or tedium or malaise or or or. and if we’re lucky we are aware when the good stuff is happening, so that we can pause and say, gee this is nice. and if you get enough of then and you’re aware enough as they’re happening, perhaps you can tie it up in a bow of hindsight and call it contentment.

tangent, sorry. practically, keep yourself busy and tire yourself the fuck out, tbh. when my wife left, i started just going and doing things, anything i didn’t actively NOT want to do. dancing, concerts, art class, bike ride, walk a friends dog, cooking class, sit in a field and listen to music.

just do anything. i know it’s hard during covid, but it isn’t so much WHAT you do but THAT you do. take the field example—you have to travel there (that kills time!) and maybe you walk or bike (that is physical activity) then you do the thing you planned to do (takes more time) and you have to travel home (more time and activity) then you have completed something you set out to do (an achievement/free endorphins).

i also took up running when she left (tire myself the fuck out) and that changed so much for me. with grief, rumination and sleeplessness plagued me; running took both those out of the equation. so my sleep improved, i got stronger and my cardiovascular fitness improved, i ate better, i got to see myself improve and achieve goals, got to build an identity separate from who i was in my marriage. so i cannot recommend running enough.

and as for identity, finding out “who you are”—identity is a trap. don’t cement yourself to any one thing because everything changes. don’t define yourself by externalities, just be open and curious about your inner life, your qualities (which are also able to change btw) and start to strengthen the ones you like, like training a muscle. i practice (literally practice) kindness and discipline, which are important qualities for how i see myself. i also practice at compassion and i like how these things make me feel and how i show up in the world when i’m practicing at them. what qualities will you train in yourself?

you’re not defined in relation to your sibling, btw, and they aren’t defined in relation to you. you can question transness while still loving them.

you’re gonna be just fine, anon. you have plenty of time. grieve the future you can’t have, even though it’s truly for the best, and cultivate a person in yourself you’re excited to be. good luck.

#detrans #detransition #radfem #radical feminism #transgender #gender critical #ftm #asked #answered #anonymous #anon

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ray-jaykub · 3 years

Note

Heyy, I just wanted to say I love your blog🥺 and I was wondering if you can do prompts 52- "I Thought I almost lost you" and 54 "you and me against the world, remember?" For mikey? Mikey x gender neutral reader. Thank you and have an amazing day!!!

Gonna do this tonight and then headcannons i got tommorow because finally things are slowing down and i can take a minute :) hopefully this is good for you guys, sorry it's so short :/

Warnings:Panic attack, blood, being sappy

Every night was usually the same. You'd kiss him bye, give him his snack and send him off on patrol. He'd make some joke about the foot wearing pajamas and be on his merry way with his brothers. Come home at 5:30 a.m. sharp, take a shower and crawl into bed.

It read 6:55 and you were still waiting with your towel and pajamas.

The morning chill ran through the sewers and did not help with taking you off edge. The nervousness that had started in your stomach as a small worry had now grown into a paranoid and fear ridden mess. What made it even worse was when Master Splinter stayed up to wait for the boys and hands wringing as he looked at the first peak of sun shift through the grates over passing tunnels. Multiple times you called Michelangelo but you only got the sound of his cheery voicemail.

"Yo! Im not here at the moment but just leave a message after the sound of the tiny truck backing up!" It never failed to make you laugh but now it was one of the worst things to hear as the images of him of his brothers lying dead in the freezing winter of New York flashed across your mind. Unwillingly taunting you for your uselessness as an aid and how you only provide with them home. With him home.

The clock ticked louder and louder with each second and Master Splinter took to standing at the entrance of the lair listening for his children. You had already prepared the first aid kit and mending station incase but your nerves wouldn't allow you to sit still.

It was 7:15 by the time you heard the familiar groans of the pipes notifying someone's return. But noone shouted victories nor did Mikey call out tricks on his skateboard. Instead the first thing you heard was Leo's voice booming, a leader giving directions.

"Don first thing You need to do is get the station set-up! Raph careful with his side! C'mon Mike you need to stay awake!"

All four brothers rushed in all at once, the quite now broken with Raphael talking to Don mumbling and leo urging his brothers to pick up speed. They had all looked worse for wear but at the first sight of Michelangelo you gasped.

His side was gashed open all the way from where his shell met his back to cutting two inches through his plastron. He was pale and clenching his eyes shut, lip inbetween teeth as Raphael laid him out to be examined. Blood trailed a path leading from the entrance across to the bed, staining the huge area carpet and concrete.

"Mikey?" You had called for him out of instinct and your voice sounded faint, broken into pieces. Somehow around all the squabbling though he opened his eyes and met them with yours and dispte the state he was in he gave a watery smile and his eyes started to look glossy.

"It's okay baby, I'm okay, it isn't bad please don't cry! Don't-" his words are cut off by Donatello shutting the screen around them and even in pain the first thing Michelangelo does is comfort you. The extent his empathic abilities take him is astronomical but despite his words being reassuring His struggle for breath and strained voice crying has you clasping your ears. The world around you looks fuzzy but inside you feel constricted and all you can do is make out the shape of Raph and His father running to catch you as feel yourself fall. Your chest stuttering and heart hammering in your ears as you're moved and held in someones arms, back pressed against someone's chest. A tired but firm voice reaches you beneath your hazardous breaths, guiding you to a calmer state.

"Breath in. Breathe out. Feel my chest y/n, breathe with me. We're one and we feel the air fill our lungs" Your vision is the first to clear and then your body untenses. The palm of your hands have been scratched by your nails and now you can see that Leonardo is on the floor with you, a big hand pressed to your chest and another on your leg as he continues to breathe with you.

Everything is quiter now that you've calmed down and even though you feel your exhaustion take you to sleep you still ask

"What about Mikey?"

------

You bolt upright, sweaty and horrified as you relive the nightmare of Michelangelo's body and voice. The way his eyes reached your's and his form shook, The fear deep inside you that had become true. Everything was dark and quite but you heard the mumble of voices through the pannels and curtains. The distinct sound of Mikey's voice had you scrambling out of your shared bed and rushing into Don's lab. Your adrupt appearence had both younger brothers turn their heads to look at you. Michelangelo was still layed out but what was a horrible gash was now a clean, bandaged side and his face was more relaxed and his body did not shake. Donatello was the first to speak albeit awkwardly.

"He's far more stabilized now and he won't need another change till the next hour or so. I'm gonna head to bed but you guys can talk for a bit" with that he picks up his notebook and phone, already heading off. Mikey, never having took his eyes off of you, speaks

"You okay angelcakes?" Your eyes widen at his question

"Am i okay? Babey you were the one who came in hacked up, i should be asking you the very same thing" he opens his mouth, a joke ready but you cut him off, "I-I mean, what am i supposed to say? I was the one sitting down here waiting for you scared out of my shit and doing nothing. I had no idea what was happening out there and I wasn't there to protect you!" You're face feels flushed and eyes teary, "You could've died, all of you! And I wouldn't have known because I'm sotting my stupid ass down here! Wondering the worst!" You take a deep breath, "I thought I almsot lost you..."

Looking back up to meet his face you realized you're both crying and on instinct you go to wrap your arms around his neck, careful of his side. Michelangelo's face is burried in your neck, already you feel his tears in your hair and shirt. His voice is muffled but you hear him

"I know you feel like you can't do much Y/n but just you being here ready for me is enough. Knowing that even if I'm bloodied up or fighting for life, you staying up to wait on me is enough. This isn't gonna be the last time this happens but it's you and me against the world, remember? That's what we promised eachother. We keep promises now don't we?" You're nodding is answer enough for him as he kisses your ear and pets the back of your head

"I love you babey, okay?" You pull back, face to face with him as you try to pull a smile for him.

''Yeah, I love you too''

#Ray writes #tw blood #tw panic attack #tw injury #Michelangelo x reader #Mikey x reader #Tmnt x reader #little bit of angst #little bit of love #he makes for great angst #like honestly #anon ask #im proud of this one ngl #pathetic i know #Teenage mutant ninja turtles x reader #Tmnt #Teenage mutant ninja turtles #Mikey #Michelangelo

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ahwait-no-yes · 3 years

Text

“Beautiful”

TW// ED?? Ish?? Just my experience and im not gonna self diagnose

(Read at your own risk!! I’d hate to trigger anyone hh)

i am looking away as i project instead of talk to people about it

(Also Kaito and Kokichi are brothers but Ouma was adopted and uses his last name because he feels it’s still a part of him and yes they’re fine with it and yes he loves his parents and they love him) also me getting worse? more likely than you think —

There’s a bit of progress.

Shuichi pushed his hand against his stomach, trying to flatten it as much as possible. He remembered reading somewhere that your lower stomach would never be perfectly flat, seeing as you had your intestines that were taller than you in there.

You probably can if you try hard enough.

Shuichi grimaced once he looked at his face, running his hand through his hair. When was the last time he showered? He probably should. He cupped his face, gently squishing his cheeks. His face looked slimmer than before.

This is good. This is progress. We won’t go too far, we just wanna loose a few pounds. There’s nothing wrong with that.

He softly smiled at his reflection, ignoring the slight shaking in his hands. He didn’t want to go too far. He heard that not eating can cause hair loss. He didn’t want that to happen, so he wouldn’t go to far.

You’re doing good. This is good.

Shuichi laid back down, gently rubbing his forehead. Were his hands always this shakey?

Probably. It’s nothing to worry about, you can still write and draw fine if you need to.

He frowned at the familiar feeling of discomfort, yet his stomach didn’t growl. Maybe his body was just adjusting. He remembered reading somewhere that not eating just makes you gain more weight.

Which, probably wasn’t true. You look skinnier when you don’t eat.

He pulled out his phone, typing a question into google.

How many calories should 18 year old boy eat?

2,400

He thought about it. He definitely didn’t eat that many. A hot pocket and instant ramen. How much was that?

Hot pocket is 600 calories.

He looked it up.

371 calories.

Yeah, he’ll be fine. He feels fine. Shuichi looked at himself in the mirror, feeling panic wash over him. He didn’t look skinnier. Had he gained weight? He hadn’t weighed himself in a while. It was possible. He only ate two things. That wasn’t a lot.

Except that slice of cake was a lot.

Shuichi laid back down, curling up in a ball. He wrapped his fingers around his wrist. They could still touch. He sat back up, ignoring how he felt dizzy and how his vision darkened for a second. He pulled down his shirt collar, running his hand over his collar bone. It was more apparent now. Not all of his work had gone to waste. He wasn’t going to make himself throw up. He didn’t want to throw up and have to deal with the burning pain in his throat that would last for hours, or feel the lack of energy after it. When was the last time he drank water? He glanced at the half filled water bottle, grimacing. Water doesn’t have calories, but it would make his stomach more obvious.

He wasn’t that thirsty anyway.

—

Shuichi sat down with his friends, who were currently talking about getting together to study. He wasn’t really paying attention, his mind seemed a bit hazy. Not too much, luckily. When an ad of someone eating came up, he frowned. It never made sense how people could just eat without worrying about what would happen.

Maybe he was just a little scared of food. No big deal. The thought of eating just made him feel sick and scared.

“Hey, are you listening Shuichi?” Kaito suddenly asked, one of his eyebrows raised. Saihara sheepishly smiled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry, I spaced out. What were you saying?” “We all said that were gonna meet up this Saturday at 2 pm. Is that good?” Kaito asked, his usual confident smile on his face. “Yeah, I don’t have any plans,” Shuichi replied, tugging on a loose string. “Great! We’ll see you there!” —

This whole thing was a bad idea.

The five of them, consisting of Kaito, Kaede, Harukawa, and Ouma (including himself) were cramped into a small booth. Ouma kept throwing small bits of food at Kaito when he wasn’t looking, Kaede kept trying to stop Ouma, (though, he kept crying whenever she said anything about it) and Harukawa kept glaring at him from across the table. Shuichi didn’t have time to look over the food, (calories, really) so he just chose something that sounded good. It ended up being soup, which he was mostly fine with.

Mostly fine with.

Shuichi didn’t want to eat. He wasn’t hungry. He ate enough yesterday. “Hey, Saihara chan! You okay? You look like you swallowed a whole rock!” Kokichi chirped, an excited smile on his face. Shuichi just nodded, pulling at the loose hoodie he was wearing.

He’d be fine. It was just a bowl of soup. It’s not a big deal.

He just stirred the soup, trying to think of ways to quickly finish it. The loud noise felt so overwhelming. He just wanted to leave. To go back home. “I’m gonna be right back,” Saihara abruptly stood up and left to the restroom. He just needed some time to think, to calm down. He quickly locked himself in a stall, leaning against the door.

He felt so, so sick.

Saihara took a deep breath, rubbing his eyes. He was overreacting. If he didn’t eat, his friends would suspect something. He didn’t want to answer any questions about eating, so he’d have to eat. He shouldn’t be having to deal with this. He missed being able to eat and not think anything of it. He didn’t know when this started. It felt as if,

this,

had been going on for as long as he could remember. Shuichi rubbed away the tears that had managed to slip out. He shakily took a deep breath, (was it always this hard to do anything?) and opened the door. He didn’t say anything when he saw Ouma waiting at the entrance. “Heya Saihara chan!” Ouma walked up to the other, a soft smile on his face. “Uh, hey,” Saihara muttered, splashing his face with water. “Soo! You okay? You looked a tinyyy bit upset earlier!” “I’m fine, I just had a headache,” He murmured, the lie easily slipping off his tongue. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but not exactly the truth either. A half truth at the best. Kokichi hummed in acknowledgement. “So, are you gonna leave because of that nasty headache?” He asked innocently, tilting his head. Trying to find holes in his story. “Maybe, I don’t want it to get worse,” He replied. More lies, more half truths. Ouma just nodded, still staring at him. Shuichi finished washing his hands and quickly dried them off, shoving them into his pockets.

Was he always so cold?

“Well, uh, I’m gonna go home. Can you tell them why? I don’t wanna interrupt them,” He looked away, fidgeting. Kokichi just nodded and placed his hands behind his head. “Sure thing Saihara chan!” — Shuichi was laying down, tears running down his face. Things were getting worse and worse, and he felt so helpless. He kept trying his best, sleepless nights studying and memorizing things he’d probably never have to use.

It didn’t matter anyway, it was never enough. He wasn’t enough.

Everything hurt. He hadn’t eaten for a while. He had two bites of egg, but it made him feel so nauseous and guilty he just threw the rest away when no body was looking. He was tired. He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t do much other then watch the clock tick away, waiting for the day to be over.

A knock at the door.

Shuichi, of course, ignored it. He didn’t want to talk to anyone, and didn’t want to deal with his heart feeling it was going to beat out of his chest and his vision blacking out for a a few seconds.

Though, he had gotten used to it.

The knocking continued. Shuichi groaned and stood up, grabbing onto his dresser so he wouldn’t fall. His vision took longer to clear up, and he still felt dizzy.

It’s just an inconvenience. Don’t worry about it.

He stumbled over to the door, taking a second to rub his head in hopes it would clear up the dizziness.

Spoiler alert, it didn’t work

. He opened the door, staring at Ouma grinning up at him. “Hey Saihara chan! Fancy seeing you here!” He exclaimed, eyes shining in excitement. “I live here,” Shuichi deadpanned, quietly sighing. “I know!” Kokichi chirped, gently pushing past Shuichi and walking in the house. “Uh, Ouma kun, why exactly are you here?” He asked, closing the door and following him. “Oh, you know,” He very helpfully replied, a nonchalant expression on his face. “But hey! Since I’m here, why don’t we do something fun!” He abruptly said, spinning around to face the other boy. “I don’t know, I’m kinda busy,” He replied, avoiding eye contact. “Busy with what?” Kokichi asked, getting closer to his face. Saihara backed away, looking uneasy. “With stuff,” he vaguely replied. Ouma sighed, grabbing his hand, only to let go a second later. “God Shumai, why’re you so cold?” He asked, pouting. Shuichi just muttered something, messing with the loose sleeves of his hoodie. It was quiet for a few seconds. Kokichi kept staring at Shuichi, trying to figure *something* out. Saihara kept shifting in place, feeling more and more panicked as the seconds passed. “We can watch a movie then!” Ouma suddenly exclaimed, a soft smile on his face again. Shuichi just nodded, nervously smiling back. “Do you have popcorn?” He asked. Shuichi just mumbled, “Yeah, probably.” After a few minutes, they put on a random movie and had a bowl of popcorn sitting in between them. Kokichi offered some every now and then, only for Shuichi to say no everytime.

He could just grab some.

“I’m gonna be right back, you don’t have to pause it,” Shuichi muttered, standing up. He still felt a bit dizzy, and standing definitely didn’t help. Kokichi just nodded, eyes glued to the screen. Shuichi locked himself in the bathroom and took a deep breath. It used to be he was hungry but didn’t eat. But now, the smell and thought of food made him feel nauseous.

You could eat and make yourself throw up.

He grimaced. It wouldn’t be difficult, really. He could just stick two fingers into his mouth until he threw up. He could. It’d be easy. It’d be no big deal. He shakily sighed, covering his face. He didn’t like throwing up. It hurt, and it made it even harder to breathe. It was also just gross.

But it might make things a but easier. You don’t have to force yourself to throw up, but you can try. Like drinking a lot of water.

Yeah, he could do that.

After a few laboured deep breaths, he left the bathroom and sat back down on the couch. Kokichi continued the movie (though, he didn’t have to pause it,) and smiled at him. Shuichi smiled back, wrapping the blanket around them.

Why did he feel so scared? So sad? It didn’t make sense, he was fine right now.

“You ok Saihara chan?” Kokichi quietly asked, still staring at the screen.

He’s really not. He’s not. He’s not ok. He needs to talk to someone. Something’s wrong.

“Yeah, it’s nothing,” He murmured, taking a deep breath. Ouma just nodded and gently grabbed his hand, just loose enough so he could pull away if he wanted. Saihara squeezed his hand, trying to ground himself. He was

fine.

Ouma squeezed back, a small smile on his face.

Is it really a white lie if you don’t think it’s a big deal?

—————

Hm - DA ☄️✨

✧༺♥༻∞

yyeah ouch I wish I could him a hug,, the line “He couldn’t do much other then watch the clock tick away, waiting for the day to be over.“ hit me very hard so that’s what I based this end doodle on (-JJ)

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northcarolinanative · 4 years

Text

𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐞𝐥

TW: Substance abuse, underage drinking, angst, Rafe Cameron

Description: Y/N Routledge is tired of the overbearing rules and protection from her brother John B after their father disappears. One night she rebels and goes a little too wild, and JJ is left to help pick up the pieces.

A/N: I’m kinda nervous to post this... I’ve got ZERO idea where this came from, but it popped into my head. AND if we can’t tell by now, Im a sucker for a Brother best friend... Also I swear this blog has turned me into a drew stan, not that im complaining. I’m not trying to glamorized drugs or anything in this, don’t do drugs for any reason, pls. This is set before the season starts. If you are struggling with substance abuse PLEASE talk to someone professional that can help, that is the first step. I am not sure if I like this imagine or not, let me know what you think, it's definitely something different for me. As always... Requests are open.

It was only one line. No one would even notice. It wasn’t a big deal. You had been drinking all night, this could not be any different. I stood up to walk away, my nose was burning, but I felt on top of the world though, I knew that. No one could knock me down, not even John B. That’s probably why I did it. He was treating me like a child. I know I’m his little sister, but he’s not my dad. If he can go out, party, do whatever then I should be able to too.

So here I was in the basement of some Kook house. I was not sure who had brought me here. I felt alive, the rush of the drug starting to taking over. I walked back up the stairs seeing my brother and his friends. I made a quick line to the drink bar. There I found a few clueless tourons pouring some odd concoctions of drinks. I hoped I had moved away from JB and his friends without them noticing me. We were all friends really, Kie was the closest thing to a best friend that I had, but they all were overprotective of me, like John B. I just needed to breathe.

I had apparently caught JJ’s attention when I came up the basement stairs. I had downed two more shots by the time that John B and the other pogues found me. A touron girl had helped me up on the countertop to dance with her. This was not like me at all, and the pogues knew that. Drunk me was quiet and angsty, I liked to pick fights, not make people stare at me while I danced on the table. JJ looked up at me first his eyes full of worry. I quickly turned away and looked back at the girl I was dancing with. She started dancing on me, while some guys yelled and called to us. I flipped them off grabbing the bottle from her hand and drinking straight from it, earning cheers from the crowd around me. JJ jumped up on the table with me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, trying to dance with him.

“Y/N. What are you doing? You need to calm down, come with us, lets get some fresh air?” He asked worry coating his tone.

I scoffed at him. “Really JJ Maybank is trying to kill my buzz. That’s new.” I looked around and spotted the other pogues steps away on the oppisiteside of the counter.

“I saw you leave the basement Y/N. Do you know what they do down there?”

“JJ, I was looking for a bathroom.” I lied. “Don’t baby me, you know I hate that.” I kissed his cheek before jumping down. I made sure to quickly disappear into the crowd.

The others saw JJ move toward me but he turned around knowing he lost me. “JJ. You said you had it handled!” Kie stated.

“Something’s wrong” Is all JJ said. “She said to stop babying her. She was in the basement. This isn’t like her.” He locked eyes with John B, who was seeing red.

“We need to find her if she did…” He paused closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose., “she’ll crash soon, better us find her than some kook”

I was in the middle of a crowd dancing. My vision was starting to be affected by the mix of substance in my system. I felt someone come behind me, their hand finding their way to my hips. I swayed back and forth. I felt their head dip to say something in my ear. “I know you’re a pogue, and I’m a kook and all, but I won’t tell anyone if you don’t” Rafe. It all started to make sense, he was the one who lead me downstairs, said if I was “sick of being treated like a kid” too follow him. It was all adding up, as much as it could. I turned around facing him. He looked down at me, with a look that said it all. The room was starting to spin, faster and faster, I was starting to wobble a little. I gripped onto Rafe’s arms for stability. He took that as a clue and leaned down. The next thing I knew we were making out, there in the middle of the dance floor. I didn’t feel anything for him, but I didn’t mind it, as much of an asshole he was, I knew that he had given me the coke. His hands were making their way down my body. He was practically keeping my standing. Everywhere he touched was like fire, I could feel everything, except the ground under me. Then he was gone.

I opened my eyes to see Kie staring at me. Then back at Rafe. “I guess you liked the coke a little too much.” He said to me then looked over at Kie before walking away. The room was spinning so much faster. The air seemed harder to breathe in. I was just macking Rafe Cameron. What?

“Y/N! What the hell was that?” Kie exclaimed pulling you through the house and out into the cold air. I stopped and gripped the railing that was leading to the beach. “Come on! The boys are worried sick about you!” I just stood there gripping the railing with both my hands. “Y/N”

I just held my hand up. “Can we wait for the world to slow down? It’s - It’s rotating so fast” I said leaning against the railing.

“No. Think about that next time before you take drugs from a kook” Her tone was cold as she pulled me by the wrist to the beach. I stumbled onto the sand. The boys rushing over to us when they saw Kie pulling me behind her.

“Where the hell was she?” John B was quick to hold me up, a worried look on his eyes, when I leaned into him for support. I was not breathing right. I could feel it. I tried my best to focus on the group in front of me.

“Hmm. Y/N. Should I tell them or you?” She said crossing her arms. Her voice was cold too cold. I stayed quiet. I pushed it too far. Way too far. “Well I went into that big group of Kooks, and found our friend here macking on none other than Rafe Cameron” She paused, everyone’s eyes grew wide. “But the best part is that it was payment for her doing his coke.” Pope and JJ just looked at you with wide eyes. John B moved so that you were facing him.

“You did what?” He looked into your eyes, looking for any sign that Kie could be lying. “She’s lying, right? You didn’t do that?” He shook you a little. Tears started to form in my eyes. I shook my head.

“She’s not lying.” The tears kept running down my face. I couldn’t meet his stares.

“Why?”

“I don’t know, okay?” I wasn’t lying. “I barely remember going down the stairs, much less why. I’m sorry John B”

“Whatever. We’re going home” He let go of me and I stumbled a little bit. JJ looked at me, the others following John B, just as pissed. He had a look of pity in his eyes, Great.

He walked over to me throwing one arm around my waist, and mine over his shoulder. “I’ve got you” was all he said.

The walk back to the Chateau was quiet, but the tension could be cut with a knife. When we arrived back JB mumbled something about talking in the morning if I wasn’t still a drug addict. Which I deserved for the way I was acting. Pope and Kie sat on the pull out couch in the living room, watching as JJ walked me into my room, shutting the door behind him.

“Do you want some comfy clothes to wear?” He asked. I nodded leaning against the bed. My head was starting to hurt. I had not thought of the repercussions of my actions at all, tomorrow would be hell. “Here.” He handed me clothes to change into. “I’ll turn around, but I’m not leaving, the last thing we need is you falling as splitting your head open”

I quickly changed into the sweats and T-shirt that JJ had picked out. “There are some of your clothes in my closet.” I pointed. JJ lived with JB and I at this point, he had stuff in every room of the house. He changed as I sat on the edge of the bed, messing and picking at my fingers, a nervous habit that I had picked up somewhere along the way. JJ folded the bed down and motioned for me to get in. I laid down and he started to the door. “Wait “ I said. He stopped after turning the light off. “Can you stay?” I got my answer when I felt the bed sheets move and the bed beside me dip. I took a deep breath, I was laying on my back looking up at the ceiling. “Why are you being so nice to me? I was a total bitch tonight.”

JJ rolled over to look at me. “We all have our nights. You don’t think I haven’t had my share of rebellious moments?” He chuckled. “Now I never did coke or macked on Rafe Cameron, but I had my moments, and I wish someone would have been there to keep me from thinking exactly what your thinking.” He said. His voice was soft. This is the side of JJ that we rarely saw, the side he saved for when it was absolutely necessary.

“Oh, yea? What’s that?” I asked, rolling on my side to look back at him.

“That your a screw up”

I laughed at his comment. “I mean I kinda am. At least after tonight.”

“No. I’m serious. The only one that can give you shit tomorrow is Pope, that boy is a saint.” He laughed to himself. “You know me and John B have screwed up, even Kie with her year going full-kook.” He reached up moving the hair from my face. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yes?” I said with caution. We were incredibly close. I don’t know if it was the alcohol or my body, but it was nice.

“Why’d you do it?” A simple question, but one I didn’t want to think about.

“I know why I got drunk and left the group, the rest, I don’t have an answer for, it’s all a blur,” I said. I felt so bad. I felt the tears starting to form in my eyes again. As I blinked they began to fall slowly, “I guess I am sick of JB treating me like a kid. He gets to run around and do whatever he wants. I help pay for the bills, we help each other, we are equals around here. He still thinks he can control me. I love Kie, but she gets the same way like she’s my mother. I know that you all trying to protect me, I get it, but it feels like I’m being suffocated.” I let out a breath, It felt nice to finally get it off my chest. “Even you see me as just a little kid, even though I wish you didn’t.” I quickly covered my mouth. I couldn’t believe I said that.

JJ put his hands on either side of my face, wiping the tears away. “Y/N, I haven’t seen you as just a little kid, in along time.” He chuckled a little at the comment

“Wait, does that mean-”

He cut me off. “We’ll talk in the morning when you have less alcohol in your system.” He placed a chaste kiss on my forehead.

“You’re gonna have to get in line.” We both let out a short laugh before JJ pulled me into his chest.

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