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sevcasejay1chicago · 3 months

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Hi! Very happy to see you posted again.

Would love to see another Matt, Jay, and Kelly fic w/ morning sickness— maybe a follow up to the last one— where the reader’s morning sickness has gotten worse and one day after waking up in the middle of the night very ill she gets really shaky and lightheaded and the boys try to figure out if they should call 911, call Will, or drive to the ER.

Please no rush— you’re under no obligation to puts fics out fast. Health comes first. I hope life gets better for you soon <3

Here’s the part two you asked for FOREVER ago. I’m sorry for the wait my love!!! I hope you enjoy!!

Morning sickness- Jay, Matt, Kelly

Warnings: vomiting, SUPER fluffy

——————

You all hoped the morning sickness would go away. The boys hated seeing you so scared all the time. You were scared to eat, drink, sleep, and sometimes move. Even after you hit your 14 week mark, it just seemed to get worse. The boys refused to leave you, unless they absolutely had to. Matt and Kelly had decided to take different shifts at 51 to ensure that someone was always with you incase Jay got called in on a case. The intelligence unit was very forgiving and caring, trying their best to not pull Jay away from you unless Matt and Kelly were both home. Things seemed to flow better when two people were home with you. Someone always had you attached to their side while the other could do things to help you and keep up with things around the house.

One day, Kelly ended up needing to head to the store for you while Jay and Matt were at work. You both agreed that you could manage by yourself for the length of time he would be gone, though you weren’t completely confident. You had been feeling pretty sick and had yet to keep anything down, which led Kelly to go get a few things that you could sometimes keep down since you seem to be out of all of those things. You didn’t want to be any more of a burden than you already felt like you were, which made you agree to him leaving for a few minutes.

Everything went fine for the first 10 minutes, until the nausea got bad. You immediately texted Matt, letting him know you weren’t feeling good, as he was the one keeping track of all of your medical issues. In his worry, he decided to head home early, though he did not tell you that. He knew you were having some strong emotions with them changing their lives to take care of you, but he just couldn’t bare to be away from you any longer. This is the worst day you’ve had in a couple days.

Meanwhile, Jay had barely had the chance to set his keys and wallet down on the kitchen counter when he heard running footsteps. Assuming that he was alone since Kelly’s car was gone and you were never alone, Jay crept up the stairs with his gun in hand. He was quick to holster it when he heard vomiting coming from the master bathroom. He knew it could only be you. The sight of you shaking while trying to hold yourself up broke his heart.

“Oh god.” He whispered, heart pounding at the sight of your weak form. “Sweetheart. Sweetheart. It’s okay. I got you. I got you.” He said, running to you. He grabbed the hair you were trying to force out of the way, noticing how it was falling out of the hurried bun you threw it in. “I have your hair. It’s okay.” Jay shushed, rubbing your back and caging you between his legs.

Seconds later, Matt ran in. He could hear the commotion coming from the entryway. “Oh sweet girl.” You blindly reached for him as you heard his voice. “Aw, that’s alright. It’s alright. Just let it out.” Matt cooed, hating to see you so distressed as you heaved violently in Jay’s grip.

Jay leaned forward a bit when you started shaking violently, barely holding yourself upright. “It’s okay. It’s alright. I gotcha.” Jay soothed, strong arms coming around your chest after he let Matt take your hair.

You coughed, heaving in air during a little break. “Mmm, I don’t-“ you broke off into a sob that turned into a gag.

“Oh baby. I know. I know.” Matt shushed, petting your hair back. “It’s alright. It’ll be over in a minute.”

Simultaneously, Jay was whispering in your ear. “It’s alright. We’re here. We’re here. I know sweet angel. I know.” Jay soothed, kissing your shoulder.

“Mm-make it s-st-stop.” You grunted out, clutching your stomach.

“Shhh. I know baby. I know it’s uncomfortable and it hurts. I’m so sorry sweetheart.” Matt shushed, seeing that Jay was doing everything not to break at your cries. He was a strong man, but you turned him into jello in your hands.

“Oh God.” Kelly said, sliding through the door. “I was gone for 30 minutes. I’m so sorry baby.” Kelly explained before coming to sit on the lip of the tub on your left. “It’s okay.” He soothed, taking the hand you reached out to him. You seemed to finally start to empty, mostly dry heaving. “Yep. All out baby.”

“You all done?” Matt asked, reaching for some toilet paper to wipe your face clean.

Instead of answering, you tried to push yourself to your feet to rinse your mouth out. “Whoa whoa. Don’t get up. Your pale and shaky. Just sit right here and let me rub your back, yeah?” Jay said, catching you by the waist and sitting down with you. You turned sideways in his lap, allowing him access to your back. “There we go. Oh I know it. I know your stomach hurts. It’s okay baby.” Jay soothed as you whimpered, kissing your temple.

You looked at Matt through hazing, tear filled eyes. “Aren’t y-you s-su-supposed to be at w-work?” You managed to get out, trying to wrap your brain around what was going on.

“Shhh don’t try to talk. You don’t need to worry about me. I’m fine babe. Let’s worry about you and talk more later.” Matt shushed gently, worried about how pale you were and how sluggish your eyes and brain were. They needed to get some sugar in you. “Think your completely done? Maybe we can try some Gatorade.” Matt said.

Just the mention of putting something in your stomach had you heaving again. You pushed off of Jay and leaned over the toilet again, heaving hard.

“Oh. Okay okay. It’s okay baby.” Jay soothed.

“That a girl.” Kelly praised, clutching your hand again.

“Hurts.” You wheezed out, clutching your stomach with your free hand.

“Yeah. I know baby. I know it hurts. It’s okay.” Matt soothed, looking to Kelly. “Think we should take her to Med or call for help? She isn’t looking good.” Matt said, knowing you likely weren’t actually hearing him as you went through another round of violent heaving.

Both boys looked at you as you sucked in air, finally calming your stomach some. You stared off into space, seeming to lose track of reality.

“Baby. Are you okay?” Kelly asked, cupping a hand under your bicep.

Jay felt you sagging and immediately pulled you into his chest. You were hot from all the puking, but you were barely sweating. “Call Will. Tell him to bring an IV bag over here. She’s dehydrated.” Jay instructed, standing with you in his arms. You whined at the sudden movement, but clung to Jay’s neck.

“No. I’ll drive your truck with lights. Matt, call Will and have him get a room ready at med.” Kelly said, using a tone that left not room for arguments.

The ride was fast and Will barely had the room set up to check the baby and get you hydrated before Jay was running in the door with you. Nat saw you being carried through the door and ran into the room, helping put the baby monitor on you while Will put an Iv in.

Hours later, the baby seemed to be settling and you were starting to come around. You weren’t happy that you had an Iv in your hand, but you were pleased to see Jay and Matt sleeping peacefully while Kelly stood with his back to you.

When he heard you shuffle around in the bed, he quickly wiped his face and turned to you.

“Oh baby. Hey sweetheart.” Kelly cooed, barely above a whisper. He immediately came to your side, taking your hand.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, wiping left over tear tracks off of Kelly’s face after he kissed you briefly.

“I’m sorry I left you.” Kelly whispered, bottom lip quivering as he spoke.

“No no no.” You whispered. “Come here.” You demanded gently, tugging him into the hospital bed with you. “It’s not your fault. You were trying to take care of me the best you could. I should have spoke up.” You said, cuddling into his side, careful of the wires and tubing.

“Damn right you should have.” Jay mumbled, staying seated as Matt laid resting on his shoulder. “Don’t ever do that again.” Jay whispered, pout on his lips.

“Yes dear.” You replied, hiding in Kelly’s chest as Jay gave you his “dad” eyes. The “you just wait” eyes, but not in a good way. You knew he was playing, but you also knew you scared the crap out of your lovers. You just hope this kid chills out.

Tag list:

@treehouse-mouse

@shadowmeadowsworld

@sorry-i-spaced

@zephyrmonkey

@allisonargent144

@amie134

@lane-rodgers-barnes

@pensfan5871

@dumb-fawkin-bitch

@marvel-and-chicago-fan

@daggersquadphantom

@stellakiddsblog

@100yroldteenagers

@senjoritanana

@celtic-shadow-wolf

#one chicago #one chicago x reader #matt casey #kelly severide #jay halstead #fluff #matt casey x reader #jay halstead x reader #comfort #kelly severide x reader #emeto fic #emetophobia tw

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19burstraat · 6 months

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proving kaz is a tidemaker, even tho it's not canon and shouldn't be, but I'm gonna argue for it anyway

I already made this post ages ago and now this has been in my drafts for even longer, I just unearthed it... but I'm making it again, more in depth, bc I didn't hit on everything I wanted to last time. obviously this isn't canon bc the point of kaz is he's Just Some Guy and how that really really pisses off more powerful people, and I think that's definitely best, Kaz NEEDS to be otkazat'sya for his function in the story... but if you ever wanted to prove it in a fic, shit is EASY. (I am vaguely considering how it might work out in a fic. we'll see. I've done stuff that couldn't/I wouldn't want to be canon before with my jordie-lives fic, so...) I'll mostly talk in the context that he'd be a tidemaker bc I feel like that's the conclusion a lot of this comes to, but some of the points are more generalised.

obviously the basic argument everyone makes for this is that the reason kaz was able to get back to shore from reaper's barge is bc, subconsciously or not, as a tidemaker he could control the currents to help him, since that's one of the most basic tidemaker powers. in the harbour scene, he notices that the tide has moved to work against him, but it doesn't seem to prove much of a problem; he attributes it to his new will to survive, but... Well. Kaz is exceptionally good at withholding information, even in his own POV.

grisha not using their powers become ill or weaker; kaz isn't really physically ill but he has an element of the underfed and sallow about him that's generally attributed to living in the barrel.

kaz is also ESPECIALLY horrified by the state of mikka, the tidemaker under the influence of jurda parem at the start of SOC; this is attributed to his past trauma and his dislike for things he can't rationally explain, which, yeah, but he is thrown in a way we don't really see again for the rest of the series. he instantly thinks of jordie, and it's maybe the one time he succumbs to superstition in the whole series.

the obvious explanation for how kaz knew that coffee extract and paraffin hid the scent/evidence of grisha is that he's very clearly involved in smuggling (jesper mentions how coffee grounds were used when packing smuggled jurda shipments) but the second explanation,,, is that he uses them himself. he comes up with the solution with IMMENSE speed and he just like, has the coffee extract around. ok, sure, not that hard to get hold of, but still. and coffee gets mentioned in relation to him at least a few times, most noticeably the 'bitter coffee eyes' thing inej uses, which is amusingly romanticised, but also... inej why do you associate coffee w kaz... something you've noticed abt him?

(but then, you wonder why he didn't suggest this to jesper previously; the answer I'm sure he would give you is he did, when it was a problem. before that it wasn't a problem and jesper was doing fine at staying hidden on his own)

the gloves can also add to this one, since they presumably at least cover his wrists and therefore his pulse somewhat, though obviously that's not their main function.

recovers with startling speed from nearly drowning at the ice court; matthias has to get his breathing going again but he's almost immediately fine after. I know yk, heist fantasy book, gotta keep going, but still

kaz is almost completely correct about the methods, powers of, and appearances of the council of tides (one single thing, the method of hiding their faces, is wrong.) impressive, no...? he is also shockingly apathetic in the face of their threats; they fill his lungs up with water and he just coughs it up and then is like "lol" immediately after. this is funny no matter what the fact of the matter (major general of the idgaf war) but the fact his link to them is left hanging is also a thread that could be easy to pick up. I think it would be hilarious if he was secretly in the council, but I won't stretch it that far bc they clearly don't like him lmao, that would have to be a proper AU.

in the dregs, kaz has a corporalki (nina) and a materialki (jesper) but no etheralki. wouldn't it be prudent to recruit one, if he could find one? or maybe he doesn't need one. if he already has one around, for an emergency of emergencies... for a rainy day... (ha ha)

the way kaz's trauma is often described as manifesting, is with the rising of the harbour waters; so it's pretty reasonable to suggest that in suppressing that, he'd also, inadvertently or not, suppress any kind of tidemaker/etheralki impulse or power. possibly he can't even tell the difference between the two, or they're so tangled up he can't really separate them anymore, which is why he doesn't so much as even think to attempt to use it. still, if this was the case I think improvement with one would not necessarily improve the other, or vice versa. kaz hypothetically using grisha power he'd had suppressed would not magically make his touch aversion go away, I think that'd be weird, and I'd not want his PTSD to be passed off as solely being the sickness from not using grisha power, that's reductive as hell. but I can see them certainly being two things very much intertwined.

we don't know a lot about grisha who are native to kerch, but assumedly he'd not have had much cause to use it in his childhood, on a farm somewhere inland, so most, if not all, of his experience with using it would likely be irretrievably tied to ketterdam and jordie so no wonder he just wouldn't use it. I don't think he'd even see it as feasible. perhaps it would be a very very final resort, but he'd never let it get to that point, he'd always want to try something else first. and anyway, he'd not be trained.

the sankt vladimir story is also thematically quite close to Kaz; holding back the harbour waters until he's finally too exhausted and lets it drown him. I like this regardless of this analysis actually it's a good comparison. patron saint of the drowned and unlikely achievement....

even if kaz wasn't an otkazat'sya, after all that happened, I think he'd try very hard to pretend he was. it couldn't save jordie, therefore in his extreme as hell thinking around that entire thing, I imagine he'd reason it wasn't useful, that he could get on better without it, and, like jesper, think it was a liability.

this would add a wild layer to him being the one to have the jurda parem on him for almost all of crooked kingdom; it would make it feel like his plan z was to take it himself. certainly he'd sooner do that than let jesper take it.

and finally: thematically, it slays. like half of the imagery around kaz (and kanej) centres around water (think the bathroom scene, how he only washes in front of her, etc) and that plays into both of their trauma, plus religious imagery, all this... it's a fantastic bit of extra theming. it just doesn't really work with how his character operates.

basically I think you could DEFINITELY make it work and it'd be a killer fic but again it's one of those things, like jordie living, that I don't really want to be canon because it undermines something about kaz's character that I consider pretty critical; in this case, that kaz is not really endowed with any special power or circumstance, he's just bloody-minded and clever, but that's enough for him to pull off almost impossible jobs anyway.

#six of crows #crooked kingdom #kaz brekker #soc duology #soc #my post #six of crows duology #this has been in my drafts for sooo long lmao #it'd be an interesting fic but idk how I'd frame it. I'll have a think

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sorryimananti-romantic · 2 months

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have you ever dreamed about atz/idol(s) before?

i had a dream not long after txt's tnc:temptation was released. i was a main role (??) of some sorts in txt's cysm and we were shooting the mv (i was watching content from tdc:eternity era before sleeping so i guess that explains it)

so blah blah blah, terry and i become best friends, blah blah blah, i end up going home after the shoot. next morning i wake up to what seems like a studio choom behind ep, and its txt's reactions when they find out i wont be filming with them anymore??(somehow we skipped a whole 4 albums and came back to tnc:temptation?) so soobin, beomgyu and yeonjun were spinning in a t-pose with the fairy dust sprinkling around them, terry and kai were watching them, and then they were like all sad when they found out i wasnt filming anymore, then started sending hearts and blowing kisses to the camera AND TERRY SAID I LOVE YOU😭

so i started crying in the dream and posted the clip of yunjin saying 정말 감사합니다 on my twitter 😭😭 then i woke up and got really sad that i wasnt actually friends w taehyun

in all my dreams of txt, taehyun is always my best friend and its so sad when i wake up to realise it was just a dream and ill never be friends w him 😭😭😭

omgg i can feel the heartbreak from here 😭😭 that was wild tho and dreams do be like that they literally make no sense esp with the timeskips inside a dream like what is this a kdrama 😭 funny that your subconscious has friendzoned taehyun for good LMAO

i dream a lot actually, so much it's almost a problem bc they're so vivid and i rarely ever feel well rested bc of them oops BUT i've had a few crazy kpop dreams too:

a similar friendzone situation happened to me where me and taeyong were supposed to be best friends? in the same college and he was angry about sth on our way to clg and i was trying to calm him down but he ended up being mean and i was like find me when you're calm 💀 and then he felt sorry or sth and we were in class (some auditorium kinda setting) and he kept looking at me with those sad apologetic eyes and when i finally met his gaze he mouthed 'sorry' and i gave him the 👌okay sign AND THEN THAT MF MOUTHED 'I LOVE YOU' AND ISTG I SOBBED RIGHT THERE (i guess i was in love with him 😩) AND I MOUTHED ILY BACK BUT ISTG MY HEART BROKE.

an ateez dream that keeps me awake tho it's a funny one i think i've told someone on another ask too but what happened was yungi and i are a best friends trio and yunho had been away for some time and he was back in town so mingi and i were going to meet up with him in some park right and it was late at night so not many ppl were around and when i saw yunho waving at me i literally dropped everything and ran towards him and he spread his arms and i jump-hugged him and he picked me up and i was hugging him and he was spinning me around (i'm losing it if you can't tell already) and i was still in his arms, my legs wrapped around him for support and i broke the hug to look at him aND IM SO STUPID I JUST GIGGLED AND SAID "so this is how the air feels like from up here" JKFHGJSFDHGKJDFHGKJ (i want to cry every time i think about this dream bc a) it's funny and b) that hug was so warm and i haven't had a good hug in years))

my recent fic guerrilla (serialkiller!yunho) was also a direct result of me dreaming about serial killer yunho actually slitting ppl's throats and well... he's hot

#the funniest dream i had has to be the one where hongjoong was scolding me #bc he was trying to teach me how to rap #and i was failing miserably #and i was laughing-crying #while the rest of ateez were losing it in the corner #that dream haunts me #yumi.asks

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waywardsalt · 4 months

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ship thoughts bc im trying to untangle what i want to do with this (not limited to tags this time yippee)

ok so like. bellum x linebeck is a weird ship and the only ship i have in my small little collection thats Like That

i mean. the other ones are like…

damibeck is soft oc x canon its my canon linebeck ship theyre boyfriends theyre husbands damien is his childhood friend and they are very close from the get go for various reasons its like. generally normal romance its a comfort thing at times but also something i can make interesting or at the center of a conflict

ganonbeck is a fun crackship sort thing that started as a joke but turns out to have genuinely interesting ideas you can use with it so its probably the most versatile in how i use it

bellum x linebeck is the only one where they canonically meet and good lord idk how to convert my weird abstracts ideas and thoughts (and joke ideas) into coherent ship ideas but ill try here

like. bellum isnt much of a character while linebeck is a great character so off the bat i kinda have to figure out. what bellum is like. but i think he generally finds linebeck interesting and is civil in a post game setting for a handful of reasons, including that curiosity abt linebeck and a vague respect for him. i think linebeck has a shaky understanding of bellum as well as a similarly weird respect, but would need a little more time to really trust him, but they both start off with some weird comfort bc like. they probably know each other p intimately already

like with bellumbeck stuff bellum likely learns a lot abt linebeck through that, and going with the ideas i have abt what goes on during that, linebeck learns a lot abt bellum, too, so they have a baseline understanding of each other. i want to keep empathy out of it generally, esp on bellum’s side of things (i hc linebeck as being low empathy but with bellum specifically its either low emparhy too or no empathy at all, problem being i have a hard time like. recognizing empathy vs no empathy like idk what the difference is if that makes sense. i want bellum to actively choose to be nice or w/e instead of just like. feeling bad or w/e, idk what part empathy might play in recognizing that you have similarities with something)

like i dont want to spill the beans on a lot of linebeck and bellum backstory stuff bc id rather do that through fic stuff, but they have a general understanding of each other through like. vague. situation comparison (with linebeck its like. minor dot connecting and some stretches of imagination but that doesnt do it all for him while for bellum its a kinda oh shit moment), and bellum just finds linebeck interesting in the unconventional (and frustrating) way he had to deal with him and how and why he failed to 1) fully control and convince him of certain things and 2) linebecks survival is something he did not anticipate at all so for bellum theres this fascination in linebeck as hes a guy who broke every rule bellum thought was in place with this thing he’d done before and is just like. hey man what the fuck. in that curiosity. in a strange sense linebeck is untouchable to bellum bc of this (not literally but. yknow)

like i dont think id want to write this as some kind of explicit or conventional romance, just some weird relationship thing that slips into romantic, into sexual, into intimate, and then back out into that weird nebulous area

damien is there. this is in post ph context. damien is very much there and interested in bellum as well but its very different i just wanted to bring it up bc it does slip into polycule territory in post ph

theres probably walls and walls of text i could write abt this while untangling what i might want to do with bellum x linebeck but uuuuugh im tired

like on the physical side of things tho its. really weird like linebeck has strict boundaries and in a sense bellum has broken them before and so they have a bit of a tricky physical relationship bc linebeck has a hard time sorting his feelings towards bellum out and bellum can be kinda touchy feely with him at times, and the strangeness that comes with sorting things out with his lil demon form and with his humanoid form

also the tentacle stuff

im very much thinking abt the tentacle stuff

i dont. im not familiar with that kind of stuff

its been the biggest barrier for me in thinking abt this ship and generally its just bellum using em as arms and to grab and hold stuff and different ways they can apply when he interacts with linebeck like hes got a bunch of different clingy stuff idk. he can do weird hugs. while experimenting with damien linebeck figures out he kinda has a thing for being tied up and then (both he and bellum) have to face the fact that they likely know either when that might have started or that it complicates things a little further

#posts that make it so painfully aware that i am abysmal at typing on mobile. some days i regret disabling autocorrect #salty talks #im not tagging this with main tags hell no #this literally started as a joke thing. monsterfucker linebeck jokes and shit like that. and here we are taking it seriously #the tentacle thing is a genuine hangup i have with this bc i still need to get over that revulsion to that stuff ive gained after #avoiding stuff like that as ‘weird shit for weird people’ bc. one who cares and two it makes it hard to think abt nonsexual tentacle stuff #look im gonna stop talking abt tentacle stuff im still working that whole thing out ok #bellum x damien x linebeck ship name is beldamibeck ok gn #ok hang on including the tentacle stuff the hardest part is just figuring out the side of this w/ bellums canon demon form. yeah? yeah

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inevitably-johnlocked · 2 years

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For the fic rec ask meme: 2, 12, & 17!

(referencing this post) || [12 & 13] || [20]

#2 🔁 A fic you’ve re-read several times:

HAHAHAHA this is one y'all already know, hee hee! It's my fave Johnlock fic, and the one I go back to as a palate cleanser at least once a year :)

A Promise Made to Be Broken by PlantsAreNeat (E, 37,018 w., 7 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Pining, Slow Burn, RST, Eventual Relationship, Primarily POV Sherlock) – A young John makes an ‘if we’re still single at 40, we’ll get together’ pledge to a woman who ends up all wrong for him. She keeps reminding him of the promise, and won’t let go of it. John asks Sherlock to pose as his boyfriend at a family wedding, so as to dash her hopes permanently. Sherlock, who has at last acknowledged his feelings for John, reluctantly agrees despite knowing how painful it will be to ‘have’ John, but not keep him.

#12 💘 A fic you couldn’t stop reading once you started

Answered this one on this ask, but I DO have another one I can add!

White Knight by DiscordantWords (M, 69,840 w., 13 Ch. || S4 Compliant/Post S4, Marriage For a Case, Jealous John, Pining John, Janine / Sherlock Fake Relationship, Serial Killers, Case Fic, Undercover as a Couple, Weddings, John is a Mess, Misunderstandings, Wedding Planning, Jealousy, Drunkenness, Love Confessions, Angst with Happy Ending) – Green. The word green was used to convey a great many things. Illness. Envy. Inexperience. Standing there amidst Janine's chattering bridesmaids, watching Sherlock furrow his brow and study fabric swatches, watching him smile and simper and flirt, John thought it a remarkably apt colour choice. Because he felt quite sick to his stomach, he feared the source of said sickness might very well be jealousy, and he had absolutely no idea at all what to do about it. Or: Sherlock needs to fake a relationship for a case. He doesn't ask John.

#17 ✨ A fic you wish you could read again for the first time

AHHHH I WANT to say A Promise Made to Be Broken again, but I want to try to keep different answers for all of these, so here's a different one I just enjoyed reading so much:

Corpus Hominis by mycapeisplaid (E, 47,709 w., 12 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Case Fic, Fluff, Romance, Frottage, Angst, Anal, Blow Jobs, Rimming, Spas / Massages, Shampoo, Jealousy, Fake Relationship) - John knows the human body intimately. He’s had plenty of opportunity for study as a doctor, soldier, and lover. There’s one particular body, however, he knows very little about. When Sherlock launches himself head-first into a new obsession and they get sent on a case in an unlikely location, the pair discovers each other’s bodies with confusing yet delightful (and sometimes hilarious) results.

-----

[Fic Rec Ask Meme]

EDIT: OKAY I LEGIT JUST REALIZED WHO ASKED THIS ASK. I did NOT purposely choose #12's answer because it was the author asking, I PROMISE Y'ALL. I just read the ask and picked another fic. <3

#steph replies #about me #fic rec ask meme #ask me anything #chatting with lovelies

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driflew · 2 years

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beholden outlines and notes

i got a review on beholden yesterday who pointed out its been, yknow, well over a year since i updated the fic. obviously those of you following me here know ive been writing other stuff, and so it shouldn't come as a surprise that im not rlly planning to go back to working on it

why? other than getting into another fandom, i honestly just wasnt really happy w how the fic was turning out. i loved s1, but s2 i just wasnt liking as much. and as much as i was excited for how s2 (and the fic in general) would have ended, i just couldnt get myself to keep working and Get there. besides that, i started beholden on quarantine, and when class/work started up, i simply didnt have the time to write so much. beholden was already 70k. to finish would have probs doubled the length, and that's not time i could dedicate

as such, ive decided to post my outlines/notes for what the rest of beholden Would have been if id ever gotten to finishing it. this is, i guess, my final sendoff for beholden. here's every doc / outline i had guiding my writing of this fic

ill say in advance this fic was a mix of plotting and pantsing, so not everything in the outline is completely fleshed out. but the main beats are there, esp in scenes i was more confident about

...these also weren't meant to be viewed by anyone but me, so they might be sort of confusing/under-explained. il add a bit of commentary/context when i can

first, here's my detail on how the rest of season two would have gone:

NOV 3: Jordan Kennedy statement

toll his Knowing and rereading old statements

talk about Peter! self-isolation as a way to

1. Ready himself and his friends for his death, by not being too deeply attached,

2. Keep peter and elias’s attention on him rather than his assistants,

3. Get peter to agree to yeet any threats into the Lonely, to keep his marks low

Dust to Dust. michael shelley is there. implies jon might have known abt the tapes all along and they could very well be the secret??

does this implicate michael in gertrude’s murder

Tim and Martin have an argument at flat while the three of them are listening to tapes.

Jon has been guiding, but Tim worries he may be guiding Away from the truth (paranoid)

Martin worries Tim is so focused on finding Jon’s secret he’s getting distant from Jon.

They’ve been listening to tapes at Martin and Tim’s whenever possible.

martin’s tired of it! hes doing work at home basically, and tim’s kind of erratic now that hes got the idea in his head jon might be a monster. it worries martin too but he knows that even w the shit jon pulls he IS their friend

sasha’s gonna have. Thoughts abt the Michael thing as well, given Michael and Jon clearly have some kind of shared past / understanding

something something… Michael talks about a shared past, Jon about reverting the Change… they both worked with Gertrude…… Gertrude and Jon reverting “the Change”??

but what the fuck is the Change? what “changed”??? why did they need to undo it? why do only they remember it? do they need to prevent it from “changing” again?

could she talk to Michael?

WHERE DID THIS PLOT COME FROM

Group intervention,

Martin trying to make them stop being so suspicious of each other. Gearing up for the “if we were all happy would that be so bad” bit

DEC 1: Daisy drops by in place of Basira to give a statement / talk to tim. Jon half avoids this one bc 1, not feeding on a friend, 2, daisy will Kill him if hes noticeably not human (esp since she figured it out thru him changing in her dreams last time)

asks Tim about the nathaniel thorp statement. she wants to see it.

looked back into the guy. he wasn’t named nathaniel thorp, but its been a long time. she’s not about to rule out a fake name

JAN 7: Tessa Winters

WHAT HAPPENED IN CANON:

tim and jon argue

martin tells jon to fix shit w tim

not them encounter in the tunnels

talk to elias

JAN 25: Caroline Gorka

Jon takes this one. hungry

jons on his isolation arc

FEB 11: Maxwell Rainer raid

Feb13: Melanie statement 2

Tim bumps into in the library while researching and asks her abt what she’s been researching. she talks abt the notThem, and the table, and the statements Jon has given her copies of. Tim frowns and tell her that they know where the table is, it’s here, why would Jon lie about that… unless…? they decide fuck the library and fuck work and just leave

they do some research into jon’s past. Tim, Melanie, and Georgie go thru Georgie’s old pictures, but she doesnt have any (messy breakup… she got rid of most of it). talk abt the sudden personality change, etc.

Tim decides that he must have changed. they talk abt how there’s usually someone who can see the difference, and Tim decides that since it isn’t any of them, it must be someone else in the institute. he asks around about what people think Jonathan Sims looks like, and “rosie” pauses before describing a complete stranger. tall, close-cropped hair, broad shoulders. and then this strange short man came in and she assumed they must have fired Sims, since he really wasn’t qualified, and hired some other Jon…

and that’s it. that must be. jon’s dead and this thing replaced him.

Feb 16: axe to table

Tim calls Daisy, since she has experience killing these things. Melanie and Georgie decide to help—Melanie bc she was researching them, and Georgie bc that was her friend. Basira tags along too. Tim tells Martin and Sasha that they should come w him (without explaining), and to not tell Jon. rosie is more than happy to let them thru to artifact storage.

they all go, Tim explains that Jon is NOT Jon, and he’s going to prove it. then he turns around and puts an axe through the table

Jon shows up and is like. rosie wouldn’t let me in please tell me you didnt break the table. and Tim is like its too late, you bastard Jon-killer!

chaos.

dunno how this bit goes BUT

shouting match in which they both talk abt rosie, and Martin realizes that rosie has been replaced

daisy attacks Jon and he panics, sending her to the Lonely as per the deal w Lukas. thats a problem! but also this fic equivalent of the buried

notRosie attacks, and the rest of them escape. idk how. Jon gets them to the tunnels probably? barricades them in the archvies? they deal w notRosie somehow.

Jon has to come clean! its time t explain everything!

this might be a separate chapter. end on a cliffhanger and then in the new chapter Jon must explain….

new exposition dump chapter! here’s everything Jon has to explain (or not explain)

he is a time traveller, sort of, having sent his own memories back in time

he knew all of them (and daisy). all of them died. the world ended. he’s here to prevent it

probably toes the line between “it was my fault” and “im on your side.” yes he caused their deaths. no he doesnt want to cause them again. everything he’s done has been to stop those deaths from happening again.

explains he had to hide it because of Elias. probably explains how serious he is about this by explaining how he blinded himself to keep things from Elias and the Eye

…which leads him to explain shit like the Eye, the entities, the rituals, etc.

which is a great lead-in to the Unknowing!

stresses repeatedly that he’s being honest, he’s telling them a lot and he’s willing to admit everything, but keeps two things to himself: he and Martin dated, and he’s going to kill himself in the Unknowing

...and that would have been s2! i was really excited for the not-Jon thing, but never got to it.

anyway. i also had these two notes at the end of the doc as things to consider in my writing of jon's interactions with Sasha and Tim

“sasha is jon’s favorite, theyre probably comfortable with each other”

“jon’s got stronger memories / more memories of tim hating him than tim being his friend, thats gotta be weird for how he feels about tim”

speaking of Tim, i ALSO have a doc specifically for guiding tim's arc. sasha's arc was mostly me rolling with the punches and working with what i thought she might be able to figure out, but Tim i had the beats planned more directly

TIM PLOT OUTLINE

peter lukas props Isn't human, jon Is helping him

jon is doing other shady shit, helping michael (also not human)

jon is very pointedly guiding them towards the unknowing but not saying what he knows or why

research avatars and learn ppl can lose their humanity / become monsters.

combine melanie's info on ppl replaced, like the notThem

horrible conclusion: on either was human and isn't anymore, or really isn't jon. were they ever even friends with jon?

(worth noting: if Jon truly was replaced when his personality changed, then all their moments of being genuinely close came after that. the person he is close friends with is not Jon. its the thing that killed Jon. the realization he “never actually got to befriend Jon at all” is going to do weird things to his heart, im sure)

(remember the table? tim can compare notes having seen it w melanie, who has been looking into the notThem) (statement info plus it now being revealed

jon is hiding shit from melanie as well) maybe have georgie in here looking for polaroid images or tape recordings of jon from college, which she can't find. no way to confirm he is who he's supposed to be

basira and daisy.…... basira can tell tim and sasha she's sectioned and that daisy believes Jon isn't human

AS FOR THE REST OF THE FIC...

when i started writing beholden, i plotted out the entire fic. i did s1 in detail, and s2 and three in... not a lot of detail. when i started s2, i made a new doc and more detailed outline, which is what i showed above. as i never got to s3, the s3 outline is... not super in-depth. had i made it to s3, i would have fleshed it out more, but alas. anyway, here's what i had:

Everyone knows MOSTLY whats up.

There needs to be trust building! rights for jonmartin?

Jon plans to kill Elias after the Unknowing. Hes barely human, his friends are okay, and if they destroy the institute after his death, there shouldnt be any danger. In getting htem to trust him he accidentally forgets this means theyll be attached to him and wont Want him to die

elias now has to go on the offensive to get jon marked. Entities jon needs to be marked by still: buried, dark, desolation, end, flesh, hunt, lonely, slaughter, stranger, vast

At some point in this season, they have to find out what Jon’s real plan is

FEB 17: starts. Does anything need to go here? Jon isnt on the lam. I guess re-bonding. Since most of them thought he was guilty of murder. Less “heres the past i remember” and more direct talk on his actual plan (but vague on how he plans to do the actual killing). can explain that hes not any more human than elias is. Also that they cant just Kill Elias or else it will kill all of them, but jon has a plan (that he cant tell the others, bc elias can read minds! Thats def why he cant tell them the plan)

APRIL 24: jude perry. If Jon wont go to her, Elias probably needs to bring her to Jon… oof. I think Tim is gonna get hurt by the desolation.

Im putting the confrontation w elias here. Elias probably Knows what Jon is planning (or at least that hes planning to kill Jon, but not how) and Jon demands to know why the others are hurt. Learns Elias doesn need jon alive or to be The Archivist, it can be anyone, and elias isnt afraid to get a second one if he has to

APRIL 28: mike crew

...probably Simon this time, since Elias i think could get him to visit the MI anyway

Also I want to vaporize simon fairchild

Which i guess means jon avatar moments, which i want/need anyway

Unknown date: jon gets kidnapped by the stranger. Helen kills Michael simply bc i like Helen more. i will find real justification for this by the time i get here, probably

Coming back from being kidnapped is rough for jon bc he hasnt Known in a while or relied on his powers too much but, uh, hes starving

Assistants helping jon manage his inhumanity, which is uh… a tense issue, im sure. But theyre more sympathetic bc they like him more and also he did give up his humanity for them. having several anchors will make it all easier to manage

JUNE 29: is in the USA, is kidnapped by Trevor and Julia. Probably gets a Hunt injury here, since hes clearly not human,

I think the fact jon had to leave the country to do this alone for some reason right now while theyre preparing for the unknowing stuff raises questions. Why cant this wait until after elias is dead??

before the unknowing, Jon records a tape explaining that killing the archivist means everyone else will be freed from the institute, to be listened to after he kills himself in the unknowing. He lists elias’s weakness of being in the panopticon, mentions leitner in the tunnels may be able to lead them. its a goodbye tape, saying sorry for lying about this last thing, and this is sort of his penance for killing them and the world. he can die instead this time, satisfied with saving the rest of them and confident they can finish out the rest of saving the world now that hes helped them survive and given them the tools to take down Elias. fic equivalent of testament, i guess?

AUG 6: plant explosives at the wax museum. They dont actually have to detonate during the unknowing, since the ritual would fail anyway, so? They can probs just blow it up right before while the circus is in the building getting ready, without getting Strange

I think same crew as canon go. Since theyre not waiting for the actual event or anything and are going beforehand, these were the ppl who knew how to set up the bomb and all

Jon plans to tell them he’s on the other side of the building, watching for anything that might come out and escape to kill it. He’ll text tim when hes there and tell tim to detonate. (

Jon actually plans to go inside, sit down w a bomb, and tell tim to detonate w him inside. So he’ll die and they’ll be free to kill elias

(he still wants to give Tim the option to get revenge on the circus, and sort of Still feels like. yknow, if Tim detonated it on him once, it'll be fine to do it again)

(will be fun to have Tim and Jon talk afterwards abt how Tim feels about Jon planning to use Tim to kill himself)

Sasha listens to the tape Jon left, figures out its jon’s suicide note, and calls tim immediately to stop him from detonating. She doesnt listen to the whole thing, just like. enough to hear the tone of jon's voice and Realize. Tim and Basira go in to stop/help Jon

and thats season 3! as i said, not particularly fleshed out. it def needed a lot of work, and besides, i wanted to flesh it out more when i had written more of s1 and s2, since i think its easier to do once you know what's actually on your page. but. didnt happen, clearly.

...you might be looking at these bullets and thinking "wait, wasnt there a bullet point about sending daisy into the lonely at the end of s2? where did that plot go?" and the answer is: it didnt exist when i started plotting the fic, but it was added later. i hadn't yet fleshed it out fully, but it would have worked similarly to pulling daisy out of the buried. i hadn't yet decided when to pull her out or whether the person o do so would be Jon or Basira. Jon would have gone and had a similar moment as the coffin where they bonded over losing their humanity, while Basira it would have been similar to the s5 plot line in which Basira had to take a long hard look at the stuff she allowed daisy to pull (since, yknow, you need to See someone to find them in the Lonely). i hadn't got far enough to figure out the details, tho, but figuring out what to do with daisy was something i found... particularly tricky, considering her character

ANYWAY. in addition to all this, i had, uh, a whopping THREE bullet points for "season four," which was basically rolled into arc three

They need a new plan to kill elias and i have no fucking idea what that plan is

Nvm. gertrude was gonna blow up the institute so thats what jon will do. Hes strong enough to survive and everyone else will be able to w the institute gone

...burn employment contracts? So they dont all die?

...that was all.

another thing i had decided (but not written down) while working on s2, however, that i didnt want to do "season four" and that i wanted to end at the unknowing. my plan was that id figure out what to do when i got closer to the end and had more information on what had transpired in fic. i think my vague plan was essentially "once they find out Jon was going to sacrifice himself they make him Not and do some shit to take the Institute down in that moment, based in the idea of destroying the institute."

one thing i wanted to do what play around with the fact the eye canonically favors Jon over Elias/Jonag and the fact that the lives of the assistants are tied to Jon, and see about burning the institute to weaken jonah further. if Jon was more powerful/favored, perhaps he could supercede jonah's power and thus, when jonah died, the lives of the institute employees could be tied to Jon instead? or something? i wasnt sure, esp w Jon being less favorable/weaker in this fic than canon.

the ending bit i was excited for was the unknowing, and everything that came after was just sort of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

.....well! that's everything, i think! not all the way polished, but these were the ideas i had for how beholden would have gone. i also had two scenes half-written for the next chapter, and a random scene of flashbacks written on how the original cast died (written before daisy died in canon). i might post that as well, like, later

if you've read this far, thanks for still being interested in beholden! i cant express enough how grateful i am for all the support i received on this fic, including the fact that im receiving comments on it even now. it was a lot of fun to work on, even if i dont plan on finishing it. i hope seeing my notes, however patchy, helps you get a bit of closure on how this fic would have gone!

and, finally, if you'll allow me to be a bit silly: i love you, Beholden. sorry for never getting around to wrapping you up, but im so proud of you and grateful to you for existing. youre the most writing ive ever done in a single piece, and im thrilled to have you to show for how much i can get done if i really put my mind to it

#beholden #tma fanfic #...sorta. thats more an organizational tag #idea talk

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meltamorphosis · 1 year

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shakes u. melty. melty tell me more abt mtmphs. pls. pls i need to know. pls

AUWGHAGH OK i odnt know if theres anything specifically you want to know but i ahve their basic story outlined in my head and it makes me go a little crazy so ill infodump abt that ^w^ hope you don't mind~!!

to me their main story is split up into 3 different arcs that take place over the course of the 6-month contract which is to say that each member gets 2 months each to focus on them . the first arc focuses on kaname, the second focuses on hiiro, and the third focuses on momoko !!

the first involves the formation of metamorphosis and kanames struggle to make a comeback as an idol and lead his own unit . you've probably seen talk of their first live before but basically it was a Complete flop, kaname froze up onstage because the crowd reminded him too much of the crowd at reimei's auditorium and thus couldn't sing. momoko tears into him for it and damages his confidence even further (read my fic abt their post-live argument btw) and a rift forms from there. kaname refuses to come to school or practice, momoko won't apologize, and poor hiiro is desperately triyng to salvage whatever the fuck this disaster of a unit has going on . eventually the reimei trio get to have a proper talk together for the first time in forever, hiiro and tatsumi enlist mayoi's help to be kaname's dance instructor, and kaname finally regains the confidence to try again . momoko's skeptical and clearly has like Very little faith in kaname but is convinced to go along with it since she doesn't really have anything to lose, but their next live together doesn't flop !! thus the first step to making this unit actually fuckigjn Work

the second involves hiiro and his struggles with balancing the both of his units! even after metamorphosis starts to recover from their failed first impression and momoko and kaname can actually be in the same room together, hiiro still struggles with the idea of leaving them alone. he pulls back from alkaloid to focus on metamorphosis and while alkaloid dont have a problem with that, they Do have a problem with the way hiiro is definitely unable to keep up with the workload (this was also very much a problem back in the first arc but its more focused on here) and advise him to maybe take a step back . hiiro is hesitant to at first, but eventually relents. he reluctantly pulls back from metamorphosis and starts leaving kaname and momoko alone together, and it's at this time that those two actually start bonding and become actual friends rather than just ilke . Coworkers who put up with each other. so thankfully hiiro's worries are eased, and he gets to find a good balance between his work with metamorphosis and alkaloid. as time goes on it becomes easier and more fulfilling - kaname's gaining more confidence, momoko's starting to enjoy herself and put more effort in, and hiiro's starting to properly cherish metamorphosis the same way he cherishes alkaloid. they've finally become friends instead of just coworkers !!! yippeeeee !!!

the third involves momoko and her struggles of attachment and the pursuit of her own desires. as stated above she's starting to enjoy herself more and actually befriending kaname and hiiro, but therein lies the issue - metamorphosis is NOT permanent nor is it meant to be her priority, and the deadline of the contract is starting to close in. momoko quickly realizes the mistake she's made of getting attached and starts to pull away in preparation for their inevitable parting. by the 6th and final month, she already basically has her bags packed and doesn't even turn up to practice or lives anymore and kaname and hiiro are obviously like. This Cannot Continue. despite how difficult handling this unit is or how scrambled they were at first, they want to stay, and that includes staying with momoko - and if she leaves now, they will likely Never see her again . kaname negotiates for a new contract while hiiro tries to get in touch with momoko, but she's basically ghosting the both of them. the only person who she's Not really ghosting are her roommates and kohaku, but when they express any concerns she can't really answer them properly. eventually she tries to leave without saying goodbye, but kaname and hiiro catch up to her before she can leave for good and convince her to sign the new contract and this is what makes her crack and convinces her to stay . all's well that ends well ! ^_^

anywya mtmphs. yeah i tihnk about them a normal amount and im definitely really regular about them

#melty answers #enstarsposting #metamorphosis #yeah anwyay im normal about them why do u ask

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gojoho · 2 years

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MATING PRESS

✑ ciq. tengen uzui, suguru geto

✑ w. creampie, breeding, unprotected sex, overstimulation, praising, implied: voyeurism/exhibitionism + size difference + gaslighting/manipulation + choking.

✑ n. couldn’t stop thinking about these two and so here’s something light—might be making more of these, whole fics are hard for me right now. anyways, enjoy!

tengen uzui

you’re much more older than the others, which unfortunately meant older blood. to your father it’s tradition within the first two years within a marriage to be with child, but of course when does a hashira find time for children. it’s a trick question; there never was a right time. not to mention it already been somewhat unethical having three wives let alone four. it was safe to say your parents weren’t his biggest fans, if they weren’t already.

needless to say in the face of retirement, his libido is perpetual and makes up for times spent in abstinence. suddenly mini versions of him running around doesn’t sound to bad, especially the process of conceiving one. the others can’t keep up with his stamina but you—you take his cock like a champ. letting it drill into you with no avail, that little hole of yours still feeling tight as the first time he sheathed himself deep inside of you. until his tip meets your cervix each time with a chaste kiss, and he’s drawing back again, brushing up against that spot the makes you throb.

the first load should be the one that takes, it’s the most copious and deepest. though just in case it doesn’t, he uses it as a natural lube for when he’s ready to give you another. pulsing like a stallion, all while nibbling on your neck and suckling on your nipples, praising that cunt of yours for being so good for him.

“you look so pretty taking my cock like that, you know that sweetheart? makes me want to fill you up even more.”

you’re mewling in his ear, head empty, save for the tension of another orgasm. after the second one you’re starting to check out, melting beneath him and becoming a quivering mess. “there you go baby, cum for me. cum for me and ill give you more.”

you always become more flexible this far into his loving and so he pushes your knees back till their touching your elbows, straighten his legs and fucks a new load into you. then another one and one after that, until he’s shooting blanks or has your cunt a swollen, bruised, and sticky wet mess.

he’s too proud of himself in the end, finding promise in your excited breath and pleading whimpers when he slides out of you. his thick seed pouring from your crevice in a slow flow. if after all that, you still didn’t bear an heir, he’d have no other choice to do it all over again. oh no, what an absolute shame.

‎

suguru geto ( post vol. 0 )

he’s a stickler for loyalty, and all it’s scarcity. so it’s a no brainer (im not sorry) that his tools are, well, just that. you on the other hand, are far too special for him to be placed within such a lackluster category. he should let you go, kill you even, but it’s the ache you drive in his loins that keeps his bias.

and so his tongue slithers over your folds—without shame—as if it’s his last super. no one’s to blame but he much rather split you open suck your cunt and mumble sweet scoldings than accept that maybe you mean much more too him than he realizes.

“if you’re going to be this sweet, i have no choice but to taste you right here and now.” suguru would coo from between your thighs, his large hands keeping them spread wider than necessary. he loves to watch you twitch under his tongue.

sure suguru’s tone is gentle most of the time, but his words are filth, and the way how he handles your body is not. the way how he saw it; if you insisted on enticing him, then he insists that you should deal with the consequences of your charm. anytime. anywhere. it’s humiliating, but fuels your arousal when he finally stretches you out, hands locked around your neck, and lips ghosting over yours. the possibility of hanami, jogo, or mahito stumbling upon your cock stuffed hole has you gushing over him.

“keeping whining like that and you’ll only have yourself to blame when they come looking for us,” he’d say all while pounding into your walls, “they’ll see just how much you love my cock.”

when even the slightest inkling of a conscience dawns on you, your legs quiver and just barely close. but he’s bigger, in more ways than one, and so his hands dig into the back of your thighs keeping you spread and folded.

“no, no, no my sweet thing, this is the best part. i want to see this pretty little pussy of yours cream all over me.”

obsessed. that’s what he is. the first time he touched you, he had your heat gleaming, spasming, silently begging for him to pump it full. between your own desperate desire and his consistency, his girth had your walls churning till they smothered his cock white. it was a compliment to his ego, and only made him piston into you before it isn’t long till he is adding his own pearly mix. your orgasms always exploded through you, rippled into your lungs and out into the world with a shrill cry. music to his ears; and to be honest, he wants them to hear, to find you melting all over his cock so they know: “this one is mine.”

‎ ‎ ‎

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎! reblogs & interactions are appreciated !

#🖋. blurbs #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk #jjk smut #demon slayer #demon slayer smut #kny #kny smut #tengen uzui #tengen uzui smut #tengen uzui x reader #tengen uzui x reader smut #suguru geto #suguru geto smut #suguru geto x reader #suguru geto x reader smut

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rotshop · 3 years

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Hey go for that self indulgent white Hank thing! Absolutely go for it! Have fun! -Echo

weeps and sobs and beats the ground with my fists okaye ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, using ur ask to post it bc imm sick and twisted liek that </3 just hcs 4 now ill probably maybe dependingly post a fic for it another time idk we'll see ,,,,,

-you two have a weird relationship. 2 others at least. people look at you and just kinda. stare a little bc they cannot at all tell what the relation to each other even is. even wank's teammates just kinda :eyes: because there's just?? so much vague tension between the two of you???

-seeing as pank is the main antag (i think ,,, if not then shhhh), you're probably just some spectator of sorts. pank calls on you every now and then for some sort of help, either bc you owe him a favor or in return for something, and that's when you two first meet.

-you'd actually managed to catch her off guard, finally showing yourself when she had her back turned to you. she can't help but just. stare a little while she looks up at you. you having her pinned to the ground with your blade at her throat and a foot on her stomach to keep her down. you know logically that your best move would be to just go ahead and take a chop at her neck but...you just can't bring yourself to, something tugging at the back of your mind in curiosity and telling you not to. so, with a little hum of finality, you pull away before vanishing into thin air once more.

-she thinks abt that interaction a lot. at first she just brushes it off as her just making note of you in case you pop up again, just so she can put up more of a fight this time around, of course. but,,,those motivations get cloudy very quickly.

-anyway. she's VERY curious abt you. she's never seen an employer before and so she just kinda. stares and watches you a lot. it freaks you out a little, esp considering she's still relatively quiet and tends to zone out a little whenever she does. whenever you show her any abilities of yours she goes all starry eyed and asks you how u do it ,,, she just thinks !!! it is neat :) ur shapeshifting abilities r rlly fun to her in particular, sometimes you tower over her easily and she'll rest her head on your shoulder, othertimes you're just below her chest in height and she'll have to pick you up and carry you around.

-also based on my dumb little cold blooded employers hc, she is both good and bad at it. like. ok. so. the first time you explain it to her and she notices ur kinda .. off , she goes into worry mode and just grabs every blanket or coat she can find to give to you so you can stay warm. keeps checking up on you and trying to ask you if ur comfortable and ok, buut ur usually conked the fuck out already so it doesn't rlly work ,, lol ,, she tends to KINDA pay attention to the cameras and monitors you've got set up a little but it's mostly just out of curiousity (which has lead to her sometimes lookig for her teammates just so she can find em and go 'hey im gonna be with my s/o for a little while ok byeeee <333' with no explanation. they have never heard of you before and have no clue what's going on.)

-after her own magnification she's a lot more affectionate w/ you which. considering she already WAS affectionate ,,, yea. you'll be doing ur think keeping an eye on all the monitors and she'll just kinda. walk in and start pestering you. y'know how cats will paw and meow at you until you pay attention to them??? she does that to you. at first she's just kinda laying her head on your shoulder as she leans way over you, nudges u a lil every now and then but that's rlly it. then she's grabbing your hands to mess with your claws and paw pads. then she's attempting to crawl on top of you to sit on your lap which is making it impossible to see any of the screens past her <3 you can't be mad because she just nudges you again and makes some broken little trill sound as best as she can ,,,

-u two kinda live together but also kinda don't???? like. officially she lives w/ her team at their base but rlly she lives with u at urs lmao. she sleeps there most nights and if she isn't either at her own base or on a mission then chances are she's there w/ you. it's become such a normal sight that nobody even rlly flinches at it anymore, there's still a lot of confusion on WHY she's there exactly but. she sure is !! first agent of yours who knocked on your door in the morning only to be met w/ the sight of your 8ft tall gf was fucking TERRIFIED

-you two still try and keep it more on the down low even if it's pretty obvious. leaves lots of room for little fights where you two are careful not to seriously injure each other, sending little glances and grins here and there that only you two will ever truly know the meaning of. you two make little bets of who wins these little fights of yours, currently ur in the lead because you found out her weak point is freezing up whenever she hears you giggle / snicker a little. anyway please consider cupping the side of her face while she has a kinfe embedded into the wall right next to your head.

-(while you are quite literally inches away from making out w/ wank, pank voice in the background) this is heterosexual behavior i promise .

#(p4nk voice) ahahaaa aud s/o you are embarassing me in front of my rival please stop kissing each other during these fights i literally #hired you as an assassin and you went and did this and im still not fucking over it like i just dont get it and now you're doing this right #in front of the camera.#white hank x reader #madcom imagines #madcom x reader #madness combat imagines #madness combat x reader #rot writes

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allthingskakashi · 2 years

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I posted 980 times in 2021

109 posts created (11%)

871 posts reblogged (89%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 8.0 posts.

I added 203 tags in 2021

#atkspeaks - 79 posts

#not kakashi - 50 posts

#rahatake - 24 posts

#anon - 11 posts

#kakashi - 9 posts

#naruto - 8 posts

#🤣 anon - 8 posts

#1am - 5 posts

#🤣 - 5 posts

#kakashi hatake - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i'd been 3k words into the one i was working on but i was hating it so i started yet another fic on top of the 4 already unfinished ones 😃

My Top Posts in 2021

Hello! Can I request a somewhat fluffy hc of Kakashi with a mind-reader ninja s/o? Maybe they don't go on as many missions but are often sought out for interrogations /working with Ibiki, such things/.

Also, it's so good to see you're back, definitely missed you!!!!!!!! How have you been, perhaps if you take anons I could claim "🦥" and send you asks separate from the requests? Only if you're comfortable with anons, that is.

Heyyy ooh mind reading is fun!! That'd be a super cool and v useful jutsu. Also dgshsgsj aah stop you're too sweet tysm bb i missed being here so much too😩 I've been doing good, i hope you have too!! And ofc you can send me asks any time you want!! I do have a few anons and you are extremely warmly welcome to become one of em <3 although.....your emoji didn't show up on my phone it just came as a square smh i hate whenever this happens. Like lemme see the damn tiny picture. Anyhoo so well perhaps you could choose another emoji? 👉👈 or a pseudonym or wtv you want.

Anddd getting to the mind reader hcs.... let's see. I'm basically in bed rn w my phone on 3% dgsgk but ill try my best to make my brain work

Kakashi with a mind reader s/o HCs

Tbh kakashi with a mind reader s/o is top grade

I mean the sheer combined strength?? unmatchable

Kakashi's SO proud to have an s/o with such an amazing and cool skill

He's literally constantly in awe

And also bragging about it to everyone. His friends, enemies, ya name it

Loves watching you at work and in general being a bamf

Ofc, this particular skill of yours also means that you can always tell exactly how he's feeling and what he's thinking

And he can try to hide his feelings from everyone else, but never from you

You know when he's having a bad day or just in need of some extra care

And ofc kakashi's great at hiding it all on the surface, but since you can look into his mind, you're always ready w some kind words, sweet gestures and extra cuddles to uplift him whenever he's feeling off

You never make a big show of it though, or even confront kakashi about it. You know it might make him feel somewhat uncomfortable. But you just know. And kakashi knows that you know

And neither of you mention anything at all, and you don't have to. Because you're there for him when he needs you and kakashi's grateful for it. Even if he doesn't always say it out loud

Tbh, he even likes it better this way bc he's never been one for expressing feelings

For once, he doesn't even pay much heed to the negative thoughts swirling around in his head. he's lived with them for so long, he's accepted them as a part of him

And secondly, even though he knows he has you now, and you'll be there - with open arms and just the right words at the tip of your tongue...he doesn't really wanna bother you with all this. You've got enough shit of your own and he's a grown man

So when he's having an off day and everything feels like a chore, he's thankful when you hug him a little tighter and squeeze his hand and throw him a smile that tells him everything will be okay. He's not alone.

At first, it was unnerving. Having you read his thoughts, all the crooks and crannies of his mind filled with emotions and memories he likes to keep buried

But when you'd just been there, not a shred of judgement in your eyes - no shock, no disbelief, no pitiful glances - nothing but acceptance... He'd known it's okay, known that his thoughts are safe with you

It was an unsettling realisation. Strange, new, completely frightening...but in an absurdly good way. It took him a while but over time, he could come to terms with it

Okay that got somewhat emo so now get ready for some unadulterated FLUFF

Many a time, when you're out in public in a meeting that seems to be dragging on for ages or in an interrogation that is completely draining your chakra, kakashi would whisper "i love you" in his head, or an encouraging "you're doing good" and it'd be enough keep you going

Or when you're out in some gathering or a party and kakashi sees smth or someone and roasts them in his head, you'd be able to read every word and it'd make you burst out laughing

And then the two of you are just laughing your ass off while everyone else is just standing there and staring, wondering what the hell yall are on

On game nights w all the other jounin senseis kakashi always wants you on his team bc you're basically unbeatable

But ofc everyone protests against this and they all fight over who's gonna team up with you

But in the end it's always decided that playing any kind game that requires thinking in your presence is useless bc you'd always win

So you guys just end up playing something like Jenga or who can stuff the most mochis in their mouth or stacking paper cups to see who can make the largest standing tower (gai and kakashi are at a draw)

You aren't usually sent on a lot of missions with kakashi but when you are, kakashi is inherently more encouraged and confident bc of your presence

He knows your skills are invaluable, and together the both of you are invincible

The two of you come up with plans and strategy together, factoring in each of your strengths and weaknesses

Your name is known across nations just as well as kakashi's is. Nobody wishes to have the fate of facing either of you

And when the two of you are together in the battlefield....nobody stands a chance

Kakashi relies a lot on you, and your presence fills him with confidence. He never has a doubt when the two of you are together

He's got your back and he knows you have his

Your special jutsu also enables him to communicate with you when he's away on missions by himself, bc he sends out messages in his head and you know that he's safe and okay out there

Usually, your power only allows you to read minds in short distance range and not over long distances

So when you found yourself capable of reading kakashi's mind with complete clarity across larger and larger distances as time passed, you were baffled

What made it even more confusing was that it only seemed to happen with Kakashi and noone else

So you scoured every single book in the konoha library that traced your clan's ancestry, made a visit to talk to the oldest surviving member of your clan, and that's when you discovered...

The jutsu reaches its ultimate capacity when a person falls in love, and it allows the jutsu user to connect to the mind of the person they are in love with at all times, and read every thought of the person's like it's their own - no matter how many nations and oceans fall between them

You were in love with kakashi

Sometimes it was a little scary, being able to read all of Kakashi's thoughts so very clearly bc you could feel his fear and grief and regrets

It felt too invasive, like you weren't supposed to feel them this way, so up close. These were his thoughts...it was too personal

But what was also mentioned in the books was that...the bond could only form when the person the jutsu user was in love with was in love with them too

Living his memories, feeling every joy, every grief, every fear of his so up close helped you understand him better than anyone else ever could

And you shared the weight of his emotions willingly, without any judgement whatsoever

You knew him better than anyone, and he knew all that you buried inside you too, because it only seemed fair to let him into your heart when you'd so closely read his

And so you'd told him all about yourself - your desires, your secrets, your fears and all that you repented

In the end, it ended up creating an unspoken bond between the two of you where no words were needed

I'm very tempted to quote emily Brontë here but i shall refrain

FUCK IT IMMA DO IT IM SORRY

HE'S MORE MYSELF THAN I AM. WHATEVER OUR SOULS ARE MADE OF, HIS AND MINE ARE THE SAME

IM SORRY PLEASE DON'T BLOCK ME

91 notes • Posted 2021-11-25 07:10:08 GMT

• Forelsket •

[ Kakashi x Reader]

Fluff Prompt: “I like the way your hands fit in mine”

Tags : Fluff, Hokage Kakashi, Potter/Artist! Reader

Words : 1.4k

A/n : Okay soooo here it is, my first fanfic after over a year, i am so nervous about this and hate it vehemently to be perfectly honest, but it has been so long and i really wanted to post something. I’ve been struggling with writing a lot lately and am finding it super difficult to finish anything i am starting because nothing seems to be working out the way i wish it would but anyhoo...i managed to finish this so....here it goes. Any criticism is completely welcome, i’m very very rusty so i am fully prepared for this to flop. The anon who had requested it probably is not even here anymore, and i am so sorry it took me a year to finally get to writing this lmfao. Okay that’s it. Hope it doesn’t disappoint too much. Thank you so much for reading!! ily <3

Kakashi had never seen so many pots in his life.

Nor had he ever seen you, in your faded blue overalls, hair stuck to your face and strewn about in every direction, with mud in places of your body mud should never be.

His gaze danced along the ceiling-high shelves, with queues of vases, pots, and bowls of varying shapes and colour stacked in neat rows. The amusement in his half lidded eyes wasn’t concealed.

“So this is what you do”, he stated, his voice taking the tone of a little boy seeing a rainbow for the first time.

“This is what I do”, you repeated. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

When you’d mentioned to Kakashi, the Rokudaime, that he could stop by at your studio sometime to watch you at work—which, despite your multiple protests, he seemed really insistent on doing, you hadn’t thought that he’d turn up at your door, apron in hand, at 11 a.m. on a Wednesday morning.

Especially after that night.

And yet, here he was.

“Well...” Kakashi muttered sheepishly, “I had some time to kill.”

“And....what’s the apron for?”

“I thought I could help you”, he stated, as if him being in your studio in the middle of the day, after that night , offering to assist you in pottery—something you were pretty sure the Copy Ninja had never done before, was the most natural thing in the world.

“Help me...you”, you registered his words, raising an eyebrow at his lean, tall figure that was watching you with a kind of confidence you could not even hope to feign.

“Help you, me, yes“, Kakashi replied with the same nonchalance with which he’d walked in.

You exhaled.

“Right...Okay.”

Rubbing your hands on the pockets of your overall, you watched Kakashi slip the apron in over his head. It had the Konoha Medical Department’s emblem embroidered on the breast pocket—he must have borrowed it from the Laboratory.

You wanted to laugh.

He seemed to have put a fair bit of thought into this.

And well, it was not like you hadn’t been driving yourself crazy for the past few days either...

That night had been like any other, with you and Kakashi walking back to your respective homes, engaged in amiable chatter.

It had rained copious amounts the day before in Konoha, and every step of the cemented road was littered in large puddles of water.

There had been a particularly large one at the lane right across from yours, and Kakashi had taken your hand in his—a completely ordinary gesture for a man of his heart, to help you cross—a gesture that he’d have made for any layperson, be it a child or the elderly, friend or stranger in passing. You knew that.

And yet, despite the normalcy of the gesture, despite the sheer predictability of it...you’d found yourself buckling at the knees at his touch, the sensation of Kakashi’s hand gently, but firmly gripping yours transcending beyond just your palms.

You couldn’t help but marvel at how natural it felt for your hand to be in his, how completely, devastatingly painful it felt to realise that it would only last mere seconds.

You’d wished there would be more puddles, wished you’d fall into one if that is what it took, and that’s when it happened. The words rolling off your tongue before you had any way of halting them. “I like the way your hands fit in mine”.

The words had been clear, despite how much you wished they had carried even a hint of ambivalence in them. But they were clear, and so was the intent of their speaker.

Of course, Kakashi had masterfully shrouded his surprise, and of course, you’d changed your verses immediately, shifting the conversation to the following day’s forecast before hastening your pace with incoherent mumbles of being late for something, but no amount of escaping, digressing, talking about the weather and pretending like you had said something else could alter that event.

The words were out there. You’d heard it with your own two ears.

What followed the events of that day was of course, complete and unadulterated avoidance. There was no way you could show face before him anymore, but with him being the Hokage, that posed a few complications. He was everywhere.

And so you’d started coming in for work at the crack of dawn to avoid having to work late, you’d gone to markets miles away from your neighbourhood to buy a packet of ramen, you’d taken dingy alleys and unlit lanes to travel home—all to avoid coming face to face with Kakashi.

And you’d succeeded.

Until today.

Because here he stood now, in your small studio, the Rokudaime—in all his glory, wearing the Konoha Medical Department’s apron that he borrowed so he could come help you in the middle of the day on a Wednesday—with a glint of eagerness in his eyes that made your stomach flip within your belly.

“Well?”, Kakashi’s voice tugged at you come out of your stupor. “What should I do?”

You looked around yourself, wrecking your mind to come up with something you could ask him to do that would suit his stature, and his dexterity—or lack thereof, in this regard.

“Um...” you fumbled, watching him eye the abandoned mould on the wheel in front of you which you’d been working on since morning. “I guess you could...help me make this vase for a wedding order I received yesterday”, you said, eyes avoiding his.

He beamed at the invitation.

“As you say”, he replied with a....(was a tease in his tone?)...as he took his place on a stool behind the pottery wheel.

The absurdity of the scene in front of you made you fall short of words.

Kakashi’s expectant eyes waited.

You reached for another stool, placing it opposite Kakashi before sitting down facing him, already feeling his eyes on you.

“Okay so um...you just...place your hands on the mould, and do this...” you explained, moving your hands in sync with the wheel as you shaped the clay into curves and bulges, building it into the form of an amphora.

Kakashi’s dark eyes stared in awe, watching in marvel as you let the familiar feel of clay take your mind away from the unfamiliarity—but not adversely so, of Kakashi being so close to your, watching you, your feet almost touching.

“Can I try?”, his voice broke through your concentration.

You let the wheel come to a slowly dwindling spin, before retracting your hands from the piece. Kakashi brought his forward, pressing his palms onto each side of the vase, touching it as if it were the wings of a butterfly.

He looked up at you for reassurance. “Yes, that’s it”, you mumbled, watching Kakashi’s masterful hands moulding your piece with the same diligence and skillfulness of a seasoned potter.

“Wait, hold on” you scrambled, leaning ahead to wrap your hands on his as he fumbled to bring the mould to a narrow concave at the top, his hands faltering, but gaze as steady as ever.

It took a few seconds for you to come to the realisation that your hands were on Kakashi’s, the mud from your palms staining the back of his hands in slimy brown goo.

But by the way that his eyes softened on yours...he didn’t seem to mind.

You continued in silence, the soft whining sound of the wheel the only noise between you, keeping you apart and yet somehow binding you together.

The vase was beginning to take form, growing from between Kakashi’s hands...and yours. The outcome was turning out impeccable, not a curve out of proportion, not an inch of jagged surface.

You willed yourself into meeting his gaze.

A crease made its way onto the smooth black stretch of his mask.

“What?”, you asked, your voice soft, expectant. Like you wished he would say something, grant legitimacy to this moment, let you know that his lingering gazes were not a mirage of your own creation.

“I like the way your hands fit in mine.”

Something red and burning crept up your neck.

The vase was done.

You’d always had a custom of naming your creations. Attributing each piece with a name granted them a kind of sentiment that you hoped to invoke in all those who appreciated and purchased your work.

Sometimes it was difficult, assigning a name that befits a piece. But this one...you knew what this one would be. You’d learnt the word in a book.

Forelsket / Norwegian (n.)

The euphoric experience of falling in love for the first time.

Your eyes met Kakashi’s, gleeful smile tugging at the corners of your lips, before erupting into a wide, beaming, infectious grin.

168 notes • Posted 2021-11-21 12:58:14 GMT

Pov orochimaru is going down on you

199 notes • Posted 2021-01-02 15:40:26 GMT

207 notes • Posted 2021-11-15 15:07:17 GMT

Why he sitting so hot i- 🤚😩

663 notes • Posted 2021-03-29 15:08:25 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

@rahatake YOU'RE ONE OD MY TOP TAGS AHAHAH 😭😭😭

Also thanks sm for the tag @pfreadsandwrites !! <3

#Omg sgsgsj my tumblr review really showed hw shitty ive been w posting and writing #ALSO NOT THE OROCHINARU POST BEING 3RD I HATE YALL SEE YALL IN HELL #No regrets about the 1st post 😌#Also rahatke bb on my top tags i shoulda known that was gona happen lmaoooo #Also my anons 😩🥺#personal attack w the longest tag absolute blasphemy #how dare the tag i wrote myself come back to bite me when I'd blissfully forgotten about it #im so happy that the one fic i wrote in 2021 made it to the top tho #i wish I'd been here durinf the 2020 review cause that would've been fun #ANYHOO let's hope I'll be less shitty this year #next year*#long post

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thebigqueer · 3 years

Note

hiii! could you write a fic/headcanons of leo, nico and will. i had no idea that was a ship until recently and i love it!!! and i want to read how they get together. in my mind solangelo is already dating (bc leo is in no condition to date after canon) and after leo comes back (after toa5) they became friends and eventually they confess to leo (when he already got over calypso and is better emotionally y'know?). no pressure if you don't feel like writing this tho :)))

hhhh anon im sorry i absolutely would love to write this for you into like an actual fic but it takes me a long time to write fics :(

but! i can def give you headcanons! after all they’re like fics but in outline form and much less grammatically correct! but if i do make a fanfic, i’ll be sure to post it. maybe you’ll like it! can’t make any promises i’d write it anytime soon though cuz i have a few more projects on the line but you know... i’m def considering making one after everything i’ve written in this post...

okay exactly yes i totally agree that leo only gets with them after he’s emotionally stable & after toa5

this is straying from soldezangelo a little but i made a post here about what i personally think should have happened w/ leo’s ending in HoO, if you’re interested in reading it. i’m gonna make the following bullet points based on that

but tldr: i’m just basically saying that i wish caleo ended up leaving ogygia as friends so that leo didn’t get that forced romance on him

so he stays at the waystation for a while with calypso (only as friends; like they’re staying there and are really adorable friends) and all the while he’s really thinking only about himself and his well-being. he goes back to high school and keeps up with that project he’s doing w/ other kids and giving them opportunities to make things (GOD THAT WAS SO CUTE)

then leo decides that maybe for the winter, he’ll go back for a trip (i also hc that piper and percy and annabeth go to chb for the same winter so that some of the seven see each other!)

there, he meets will and nico, but i think mostly he’s interested in talking w/ nico. so they talk a lot. nico expresses how angry they were for leo dying like that and scaring everyone, and leo says he’s sorry but he had to. i think this also provides nico and leo the perfect opportunity to talk about jason, since they were both really good friends with him. and nico also understands that it was leo’s decision and his sacrifice. but they also talk about how leo’s sacrifice kind of... felt weird. since in the end, they still lost the storm but the fire lived on (ehehhehe idk if that made sense but i was tryna be smart lakjsdlfkj)

i think that opportunity ultimately provides nico and leo to get along a LOT better with each other, and they both realize that they actually have been through a lot of similar feelings. by which i mean theyre both so fuckin mentally unstable and they relate to one another.

nico talks about how he’s been in a relationship with will for a while, and leo’s happy for him, really. but i think a small part of him is jealous, too. not because “oh god here’s another couple im supposed to worry about after ive just started getting over this ingrained idea of needing romance to solve all my issues and feeling like i belong,” but more because i think leo’s always been a little attracted to nico since they were on the argo II with each other. i don’t think he ever acted on those feelings, especially since a lot of the people on that ship were more judgmental towards nico and he probably felt like he had to be as well (by the way, none of this is an excuse to leo’s treatment of nico, or, by extension, an excuse for anyone’s treatment of nico on the argo II.)

leo apologizes to nico about how he treated him, and nico smiles and tells him it’s fine. like, nico has had his own bout of personal growth as well, especially in the past year. he doesn’t - and won’t - forget how people treated him, but now he’s learning to just let it go, in a sense.

and i think this is when leo and nico kind of develop underlying feelings for each other.

leo and nico probably hang out a lot, but will also joins becuase he’s nico’s boyfriend, and nico loves to have him tag along. so i think leo feels a little intimidated by will, like “damn my crush is really just bringing along their boyfriend huh??”

and leo’s like. so jealous. like “ugh why does this hot golden ray of sunshine have to ruin everything. why is he always around. he’s so fucking distracting. like hello i’m trying to simp for nico but he’s so gorgeous for the both of us.” and then it hits leo that oh wait oh fuck he actually likes both of them and that “intimidation” he was feeling was mostly just him being attracted LMAO

leo and will get a bit closer through nico, and then i think the two of them are like very joke-y with each other, and they totally connect with each other about texas and being absolute fucking NERDS (since they are both canonically absolute dumbass nerds HSDHFSLFKDJ)

and leo’s struck with how cute he is omG

and then nico’s like “wow they’re both so glowy aslkdjffdj HHHHH”

and then will’s like “damn they’re both so dark and mysterious”

and also not to mention they all totally relate about mental illnesses, abandonment issues, and the like. i mean, after everything that’s happened to all three of them (since will has been through like two wars, has lost two brothers, and has probably lost a lot of lives and feels guilty for it) they probably really relate to each other about always feeling... this dark uncomfortableness inside them. a void. they get really deep about mental health, and i think nico actually suggests to both of them that they should all talk to dionysus, just like he does (because, as we all fucking know, love cannot fix mental health and it doesn’t matter how much they’re all attracted to each other, they will not cure each other just because they’re in love)

i think somewhere in the relationship between will and nico, a tension starts to build up a little. they’re not really sure how to exactly deal with teh fact that they like leo (and neither of them actually admits it to the other because they like the other as well and they really are not in the mood for a “”””love triangle”””)

but the funny thing is, they probably all talk about it with dionysus in their separate times. and Mr. D is just. he’s so done.

SLKDJFKLSDHFLJSDKFSDKJFSFDLJK - Mr. D falling asleep at night thinking about this soldezangelo thing because he thinks it’s really funny that they all like each other but don’t wanna admit it

he totally suggests that nico and will talk about it together, and after lots of hesitation, will is probably the first one to come outright and say that he likes leo as well. and nico’s like “OMG WHAT ME TOO. like i really like you but i also really like leo...”

so they’re both actually really relieved, because they didn’t really want to break up with each other but they didn’t really want to keep lying to each other, either.

and they tell leo, and then leo’s so happy because lKJSDFJLSLDFK YALL I LIKED YOU FOR THE LONGEST TIME

and bada-bing, bada-boom, ya got yourself a little soldezangelo!!!!

i hope you liked that!!! i’m actually tempted to make this into a fic now, but since it’s already in headcanon form is there a point? hmm... imma think on this though. thank you SO MUCH for the ask!!!

#soldezangelo headcanon #leo valdez headcanon #nico di angelo headcanon #will solace headcanon #soldezangelo #leo valdez #nico di angelo #will solace #rick riordan #riordanverse headcanon #riordanverse #trials of apollo #toa #anon tag #asks

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fellhellion · 3 years

Note

can you make a rec list of your favorite fe3h fics? if that's alright?

OF COURSE I WOULD LOVE TO <3 always happy to give my fave works a shoutout <33333

Though mind u this is going to be a LOT so ill pop them under a cut

from the heart in exile

TLDR: platonic hubert edelgard fic that haunts me. It’s extremely good with really well written character voices and focuses on these two characters trying to find out who they are beyond the war with their friends refusing to leave them behind

Summary:

You can’t speak just yet to whether time—and age? experience? not that war or rulership have given you much of the latter, at least in the area of gardening—has made your thumbs any less brown, but the house in the Oghma Mountains is surrounded by so many growing things it hardly seems to matter. It sits at the edge of a forest, on the gentle lower slopes, and the people in the nearest town had all smiled to speak of it when they pointed the way for Hubert, the day you arrived. A number of them were old enough to remember what it had been like, years ago, in the warm and golden before, and to insist that it had not changed in the ways that mattered. It was still full of light. The air still smelled green.

In which Edelgard keeps a garden, Hubert learns to fly, and those they leave behind refuse to be left behind.

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Watchtower

TLDR: platonic fic and amazing sylvain character study. Like genuinely one of the best i’ve ever read. If you’re someone who really wanted a deeper exploration of Sylvain’s feelings about Dimitri this fic is for u.

Summary:

When Sylvain is six and a half and climbs to the top of a tower with no one’s hand in his, he realizes that each and every one of the people he loves has been born as a gift to something else. Dimitri was born for Faerghus, and Felix was born for Dimitri. Glenn was born for the royal family, and Ingrid was born for Galatea and for Glenn. He realizes, too, that what they’re for decides their future. Dimitri will lead them into a better world. Felix will guide his path, and Glenn will protect his life, and Ingrid will bind her future to theirs.

And Sylvain, who was born for the border, will stand in a watchtower. He will see the enemy before it comes, and he will keep Dimitri and Felix and Ingrid and Glenn safe.

Dimitri reappears after five years. Sylvain knows it's his role to fix the mess they're in, but he doesn't know how.

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little light

TLDR: really good exploration of flayn and seteth’s relationship (+ with his wife and flayn’s mother) pre canon (also post canon if i remember right) just a really good if heartbreaking family fic

Summary:

"She is beautiful, and she is perfect. It is foolish to say so, because the goddess herself says perfect beings cannot exist - but Cichol knows now she must have been wrong, because his daughter is perfect. They name her Cethleann. In the old tongue, it means 'light.'"

Cichol, Cethleann, what they lost, and who they became.

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conjure the wind, ease my mind

TLDR: this author in general writes FANTASTIC work so pls check out their whole repertoire. a platonic fic between holst and claude w an exploration of claude’s past that’s just so good....found brotherhood i am WEEPING

Summary:

“I’d like to know what’s wrong. I’d like to help if I can.”

Calculating green eyes lock onto Holst’s own, but this time they’re laced with something a little bit like resignation

Many people call Duke Riegan a liar, but Holst feels like he knows the young man a bit better than that. To call him a liar is wrong, you see, because all Claude has ever really done is master the art of giving up as little of the truth as possible. He keeps truth close, treats it like a valuable commodity.

“I have three brothers,” he says. “Half-brothers.”

***

Claude won’t spar with Holst and Holst wants to know why.

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my fellow passerine

TLDR: same author as before and just...god this fic is so good. a platonic exploration of the relationship between Claude and Cyril. This fic has it all: found brotherhood, worldbuilding about Almyra, Claude character study, CYRIL character study. it’s just fantastic

Summary:

Then the Alliance delegation shows up, and their offering strolls through the gates of the monastery like he already owns the place.

A reminder, for those who need it: Cyril is not an idiot. He has good eyes and he uses them.

An observation, for those who want it: The Golden Deer house leader is Almyran.

Cyril knows a lot more than he lets on, Claude is far less covert than he thinks he is, and messing with the guy your parents told you was a possibly-unkillable demon-prince isn’t usually supposed to earn you a lasting friendship but hey… life is already pretty damn weird.

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Autotomy

TLDR: god this ferdibert fic just fucking...destroys me. i cannot get through it without crying at least twice and usually more. it’s basically a CF canon divergence with a heavy HEAVY exploration of ferdinand and hubert’s perspectives towards usefulness and how abelist thinking affects that in their efforts to find Shambala after Ferdinand loses his sight from one of Hubert’s experimental spells. All while falling in love. this fic is VERY fucking heavy, please mind the tags, it’s amazing but it’s subject matter is something you need to be very aware of. Also i would highly reccomend reading the prequel to this fic as it provides some critical context to Hubert’s actions that you don’t get through Ferdinand’s flawed pov. Basically this author is a master of character perspective.

Summary:

Ferdinand von Aegir's war record ends in 1182. The war does not.

Or, blind man's bluff.

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Coming of Age

TLDR: same author as before and god...just my FAVOURITE ferdinand character study. Takes place within the period Byleth is away. I don’t want to spoil anything but it’s incredible. Mines the fantastic character drama hook between Edelgard and Ferdinand that canon DIDNT rip

Summary:

Ferdinand was a general. In theory. Edelgard had promised him continued command of his battalion, and a general needed a certain measure of wealth to supply his horses, his servants, his armor and rations and lodgings and, she’d promised.

But his father sat rotting in a cell, or worse, and it could be nothing more than a fable they thought him simple enough to believe. What did promises matter?

When the house of Aegir collapses around him, Ferdinand struggles to forge a path forward. He quickly discovers he can't manage it alone -- and neither, perhaps, can Edelgard.

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Another Life

TLDR: same author AGAIN (can u tell theyre my favourite fjsdhfk). Ferdibert fic, a man loving his partner and trying to figure out the best way to support them as they silently wrestle with questions about their gender identity is something that can be so PERSONAL and make u CRY god. also dark flier hubert my beloved.

Summary:

Ferdinand notices things. He cannot say what he notices, precisely, because he has no one to ask, and if he were to ask Hubert it would damn well result in every questioned moment up and vanishing forever behind a new wall of prickly austerity. Ferdinand cannot risk that. The things that he notices stick in his chest, and he thinks only, but.

Hubert wrestles with unasked questions; Ferdinand wrestles with a pegasus.

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Beneath the Sheets of Paper Lies My Truth

TLDR: Dimilix fic in my FAVOURITE fucking format of secondary in game historical sources exploring their relationship in retrospective.

Summary:

It was said that Duke Fraldarius’s grief at King Dimitri’s death was more potent than even the queen’s—but said by whom, and how, and why?

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A Fair Day’s Work

TLDR: Post CF Canon ferdibert where Hubert and Ferdinand’s overworked aides desperately try to get them together so they’ll be too busy being uhhhh AMOUROUS to give them so much work. Very much a romantic comedy with very fun OCs as our protags.

Summary:

“I may have some coffee in the place for you,” said Prime Minister Aegir. “Let me show you how much better I have become at brewing it to your taste.”

“If you insist,” said Minister Vestra but he sounded pleased. To Delarivier, who had literally made it her profession to attune herself to his tone (usually ranging from sort-of-murder-y to extremely-murder-y), Minister Vestra sounded very pleased indeed.

Ferdinand and Hubert's long-suffering aides figure out a way to work fewer hours.

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Roost

TLDR: Dimilix post AM Canon with some pre canon moments. Basically an exploration of the complexity of their relationship with bird symbolism and extra Holy Kingdom lore. Gifting ur lover a vulture is something that can be so personal fksdhfsjkd

Summary:

Dimitri makes an affirmative noise. Then he takes a breath, voice leveling out into what Felix had long ago dubbed his 'future king voice', all steady explanation: “Long ago, the saying fledged right along with the nobles' and royal family's love of hawking, and it has remained a common phrase from one generation to the next. As adviser to the king, the duke is meant to be regal and strong, even deadly when required, from his place at the king's side. To always act as the most piercing, watchful eyes over the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus and her sovereign."

He looks over to Felix as soon as his mouth snaps shut on the final word, as always seeking approval on his recitations.

Felix tilts his head, trying to look unimpressed. “I like eagles.”

A hand automatically comes up to cover the lower half of Dimitri's face, muffling the inarticulate sound of a snort of amusement. “That is good, since you are to be mine.”

***

They say an eagle watches over Fhirdiad.

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A faint and faraway sound

TLDR: Ferdibert with an excellent Hubert centric character study....just so good...makes me warm and fuzzy...the mutual pining and ROMANCE of it all

Summary:

Hubert learns to be a person, with a lot of help and complication along the way.

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In golden light

TLDR: A really REALLY good ferdibert fic with ferdinand centric pov that focuses on him reflecting on his life as he prepares the Aegir house to become a boarding school. Ferdinand sibling exploration is ABOUND here and it’s great

Summary:

When his family's summer home at Lake Aegir is set to be converted to a boarding academy, Ferdinand pays it one last visit and contemplates his complicated relationship with family, love, and legacy.

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one three four three four zero

TLDR: the fic that actually got me into dimilix. VERY heavy character study and you NEED to mind both the general fic tags and the content warnings the author lists for each chapter but it’s incredible. Takes a very familiar trope and just. slams you in the face with over 60k words of amazing character study.

Summary:

“How are you going to get the One-Eyed Demon of Garreg Mach, the Boar Prince of Faerghus, smuggled past Dukedom soldiers? What plan could you possibly have to get a creature that incapable of even pretending it isn’t a bloodthirsty beast into Dominic without getting caught?”

The Professor gives him one of their steady, unreadable stares. They definitely do not and could not possibly have answered him, “You’re going to pretend to be married to him.”

or, How to Pretend to be Married When One of You Can't Stop Hallucinating and the Other One Uses Hostility to Cope

#Anonymous #ask games #anon #this is so long SORRY LMAO

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daimonhalos · 3 years

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Aight this is the second time I watch it but I'm gonna do a commentary on the latest bad's lore stream! Just for funsies, I might have honestly already forgotten some stuff so I wanna keep my thought process :3 let's go, commentary under the cut.

There's also some small theories/analysis in some points but nothing too much, just me rambling cause pain.

The pre stream song. Faster and Bad never change please.

I love so so so much the ominous soundtracks he puts as background for lore man it's just so coooool.

Reality check pre/post lore my beloved 💜

that little meh eh eh. is everything

he's just on a boat at night and but can already see he's got shaders on, this means PRETTY VISUALS AHEAD. Also i really like bits beginning with the character alone heading towards their destined direction, it's just pleasing

HIM TAKING DOWN ANTI EGG POSTERS. KING SHIT

Can't believe I got to hear "muffinhead" in lore voice.

Not even inside the room and HOLY SHIT they covered it all with the red bricks block IM AAAAH IT'S SO PRETTY. Like before the vines were all put at random but now they're neatly placed and it's actually aesthetically pleasing? I love it

DANCEFLOOR DANCEFLOOR DANCEFLOOR

The table. is . so. is so . it's so prebby,,, help like i'd live there man

Bad being overwhelmed by the egg's voice and lowkey scared. FINE IM FINE

No other choice. And the way he repeated it like a mantra? Kind of like to convince himself? AHHH

SKEPPY. SKEPP

small,, small egg staircase

haha fuckign pain. p a i n. just pain it sounds a lot like Skeppy before actually stayed with Bad cause it annoyed him how much he wanted to hang out like old times,,,,, my heart pangs

IM JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOU

I CARE ABOUT YOU *passes out*

bad scared the egg is skeppy's bff now /j (have to joke through the pain,,)

BADBOY i swear to god he knows his audience. he just does.

Bad doing whatever he can to even just hang out a few minutes with skeppy. Bro, the tears inside

"I'm comfortable right here." "Skeppy I know you are-" THE WAY BAD'S VOICE BROKE HERE HOLY SHIT LEMME CLIP IT.

He talks to chat. HE TALKS TO CHAT THIS MEANS WE ARE CANON THUS we are either little angels or demons around him or a mix or, we're particles that make up Rat ♥

"All of this is for him" okay stab me next time it'll hurt less

BADBOY STARTING TO BE CONFLICTED BECAUSE HE NEVER HAS A FUCKING BREAK

s- w- skeppy kept the egg alive? okay so ive been thinking about the fact that skeppy became completely red and like wow what if it kinda is that hes literally become a small part of Egg? like, i wonder if someone breaks it, if he feels pain

Skeppy so dry with his responses. stop i will cry

bad. bad why are you bringing up selfies to a lore stream bad-

"why are you still talking to me" "okay..." stop stop PLEASE STOP-

smol growls, he's getting frustrated

idk why but skeppy talking about the perimeters made me laugh it was just funny how far away he was and just started talking about it randomly

"i think it looked a little bit better before" thoughts being thunk

"what's it gonna take for you to stop talking to me?" literally i am deceased s t o p

STOP STEPPIN ON THE MAGMA BLOCKS SIR YOU'RE HURTING

Bad shouldn't be so happy about just having "one last walk around" with skeppy so he "stops bothering" him tHIS HURTS SO MUCH the egg has fucked them up so much

Skeppy doesn't hear it huh? Maybe it whispers different things to everyone

"I like how it feels" nooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STOP HURTING TOURSELF

so no dance? *slams phone on the ground*

When skeppy says his line about never seeing anything close to a party there, idk what it is about it but his tone just hits, man he's so good preesh

HE CALLED HIM ANT. BAD PLS YOUR BEING BAD AT NAMES IS SHOWING

"Oh my goodness you're going back to the egg" HE'S SO SAD. HE'S SO SAD CAUSE HE COULDNT KEEP HIM WITH HIM A LITTLE BIT LONGER HES S

"you know what? i invite you" i wanna read this in a certain way. The egg was feeling like bad was so frustrated he started doubting the egg, so it was like alright let's use skeppy to get it closer to I can manipulate this bad boy better :)) motherfuck

are they about to kiss-

egg cockblocker

"okay don't come back" end me rn

ngl when sapnap joined I got real scared for a moment.

"it's not about power! it's nor about control! i'm you friend skeppy!" "I mean ... you can think that" FUCK U NO IM NOT DEALING WITH THIS RN

"We're friends, right?"

"In your head we can be best friends, we can be whatever you want" BDI ANYONE??????? also whatever- whatever he wants? :eyes: okay sorry no ill see myself out

"We're m- we are friends sk-" M- MARRIED WAS HE GONNA SAY MARRIED DID HE PULL A QUACKITY OH MY GOD I HATE THIS GUY OH MY GOD /pos but also like in a bawling my eyes out way

the egg is more than just a friend? skep u good there pal do u have smth to tell us

"You don't know what it's like." OH HERE HE GOES. HERE HE GOES HERE IT COMES OH NO.

The way Bad stutters i really thought he was gonna say something REALLY IMPACTFUL

"I have done so much for you, for our friendship and now you're trying to tell me we're not friends anymore?" LEAVE ME ALONE

I JUST CAUGHT THE BLOOPER HE SAID ON ME INSTEAD OF HANG OUT WITH ME IM CRYING OH MY GOD BAD HOW DID U FUCK THAT UP oh my god I imagine him mentally going like oh my gosh out of all the things that could be messed up THAT WAS SO FUNNY

ahaha my dads are fighting help

"You think you've done anything? You seriously think that?" *looks at my fic where bad feels worthless because the egg said so* ahah... I'm sorry?

"You left me for a long, long long time before you even checked up on me, okay?" he's not wrong,,,, he's not wrong why does this hurt sm,,,,, "and now all of a sudden you care about me?" OH MY GOD PLEASE I HATE THIS EGG

I see them... i see them approaching the lava blocks..

"the past doesn't matter" the egg wanting to erase their relationship so much,,,, i wanna cry because then if bad doesn't have skeppy he just has nothing right and then,,, then he can be another empty vessel for the fucking egg I hate this mI hate this so much

Also!!! little things I noticed!! Bad taking away part of the vine and also mining a red block? Without being affected at all? MHHHH

"I just wanted us to hang out like we used to" BAD'S VOICE CRACKING AGAIN STOP I WILL CJRYSD

"I did all of this for you and I didn't want the egg to take that away" you see how fucking tragic this is. Like Skeppy sacrificed himself so his friend could stop being infected. Bad sacrificed literally the whole server himself included to get him back. And then it comes down to this. The egg separating them a thousand fucking miles away. I hate this it's so sad

the selfish bit please no stop

THE LAVA BAD THE LAVA PLEASE IT'S TOO CLOSE

the fucking shaking with rage thing got me BROOOO I LOVE WHEN BAD DOES THE LITTLE THINGS IN GAME

"IT'S JUST A STUPID EGG" FUCKING FINALLY YOU TELL HIM BAD but then oh no oh no would you look at that huh. cant fucking have shit in dsmp. the way he immediately just screams for him right after

YOU CAN HEAR THE TEARS IN HIS VOICE and also mine hi I'm sobbing again

BDI FUCKING CANON LET'S GOOOOOOO WE CALLED ITTTT

(Dreamscape?)Skeppy being actually concerned with him haha this doesn't hurt at all!!!

*stares at black screen* I'm fine.

Thank you for listening to my ramble I am hurting so much bestie

#dream smp #dream smp spoilers #badboyhalo #bbh #skeppy #death tw #mind control tw #ask to tag

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inevitably-johnlocked · 2 years

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Five Fics Friday: Jan. 14/22

Happy Friday everyone!! So glad it’s the weekend... only been back to work for a week and I already need another holiday, LOL.

Hope you enjoy these fics, and please give some love to these new fics and authors in the Boosted fics, and a couple more added to my MFL list :) Cheers!

SIGNAL BOOSTING

Tonight's so very different by The_Spiral_Staircase (NR, 349 w., 1 Ch. || 221B Ficlet, Ill-Timed Love, Melancholy Memory, One Sided Pining, Angst, One Night Stand) – That a one-night stand can mean different things to different people is certainly no news, although it can be a hard-earned truth. Even for high and mighty Sherlock Holmes.

The Liar and The Lost by yesthankyouforyourinput (M, 38,459 w., 11 Ch. || Post TRF, Angst, Grieving, Depictions of Violence, Alcoholism, Established Relationship, Country Hopping, Depression, Guns, Anal/Oral Sex, Depictions of Torture, Blood, Injury, BAMF John, Slow Burn, Anderson's Fan Club) – 'You should take a look at this - A' And with that, John was on the next flight out. A cheap airport coffee in his hands and all of his necessary possessions in his backpack. If he was going after him, he had to be silent. Untraceable. He needed to find out what the hell was going on out there, even if it killed him. He had heard his call to action.

Emergency by EmeraldUrAFreak (M, 40,353 w., 24 Ch. || Teenlock AU || Teen Romance, Drug Use, Angst, Hospitalized John, Broken John, John Whump, Absent Parents, Sherlock Fixing John, Insecure John, Younger John, Older Sherlock, Helping Each Other, Papa Lestrade, Case Fic, Alternating POV, Mild Gore, Horror, Non-Graphic Violence, Corpses) – Recovering drug addict Sherlock Holmes meets supposedly permanently hospital stuck John Watson. As they become friends- and maybe even more - they have ups and downs finding out each other’s pasts. Sherlock is shocked at how deep John's goes resulting in a case of new stakes. Fixing old relations and creating new ones that are hard to keep in this dreadful time. They never knew what was waiting around the corner.

RECENT MFLs

My Heart Beats For You by jalexandria (M, 1,212 w., 1 Ch. || Hanahaki Disease AU || TLD Divergence, Angst, Non-Canonical Character Death, Sad Ending, Drugs, Pining Sherlock, Hurt John, Death Fic) – Things go very, very badly when John makes a horrible mistake.

Until the End of my Days by chervilspotatoes (M, 20,272 w., 20 Ch. || Merlin Crossover / Medieval Magical AU || Sorcerer Sherlock, Prince John, Pining Sherlock, Developing Relationship, Teenlock, Servant Sherlock, BAMF Sherlock, BAMF John, Heroic Sherlock, Misunderstandings, Alternating POV, Protective Greg, Love Confessions, Soul Bond / Mates, Happy Ending) – Sherlock learns to embrace his destiny as Prince John's protector, but soon realizes he is in love with the unavailable prince. However, this knowledge does not stop him from staying by John's side as John becomes king and faces unforeseen circumstances.

#johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #five fics friday

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yanagiin · 3 years

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CANCER

cancer- my chemical romance (covered by 21pilots)

relationship: tsukishima kei x reader

synopsis: she had cancer but he was oblivious to the signs. his last words?

warning: angst, illness, death, swearing, cheating

i don’t know the symptoms for cancer and this is my first fic so pls forgive me for any mistakes

“you have cancer.”

it’s been a week. a week shes known she was sick. sitting on her desk, her face buried into her arms, looking off to the side.

“how do i tell him?”

“tell me what?” y/n visibly flinches at the sudden voice of her boyfriend, kei.

“oh nothing!” she says w a fake smile. how is she supposed to tell him. what was she supposed to tell him. that her hair was falling out? that she was potentially dying? he just shakes off her unusual behavior and sits across from her.

“so are you gonna come by practice later?” he asks her.

“ah i can’t I have uhhh” she trails off, “grocery shopping to do for my mom!” truth is she had a doctors appointment, but he didn’t have to know. she didn’t want to be a burden. since when did she do grocery shopping the tall blonde thought.

this suspicious behavior has become a daily thing, he noticed that she would run off right as the last school bell rings. until one day he saw her get in a car with another guy. so that’s why huh?

hey kei wanna go mall later?

sent at 1:47

said boy stares at the text from his girlfriend. he knew she was cheating so why not have some fun right?

sure

y/n arrives at the mall and she sees girls swarming her boyfriend. she pouts, but doesn’t get jealous as she trusts he won’t do such thing. she waits till the girls leave to approach him. tsukishima has a smirk evident on his face.

“where do you wanna go?”

“can we go to the costumes and cosmetics first?” she says with a smile. the morning of she witnesses the hair already falling out faster than she expected. he shrugs and mentally grins to himself as he sees her smile dropping at his blunt response.

“why do you need wigs? need new hair to look pretty?” his words stung her but she hid her expression.

“why don’t you just tell him?” y/n’s brother said standing at the door way.

“i just want to enjoy the rest of my time with him w/out.”

“but-” he was cut off by his sister walking past him and shutting the door.

“want to walk me home?” she asked. he replied with a shrug, heading towards her house. they got to her driveway when he saw the same car. the same car she got in with another guy.

“oh no he’s still here...” she says with fear when she saw that her brother’s car still in the driveway. fear that he might expose her secret. tsukishima looks at her with disgust, but she was to worried to notice. “you can just drop me here i can get to the door fine! bye kei! love you” she says running to her front door.

it’s been a week, more hair has fallen out, she had gotten permission to wear hats and her hoods from the faculties as they knew about her condition. but her boyfriend has surprisingly not noticed but someone did. his best friend, yamaguchi tadashi.

“are you okay y/n-chan?” the freckled boy asked with a worried visage.

“I’m going to tell you something, but you can’t tell anyone. not even kei” she trusted the boy as if he was her brother. “I have cancer.”

two months ago, she was diagnosed with cancer. but in the last two weeks, tsukishima became more distant. she became worried and went to his practice after school.

“is kei here?” everyone stared at her as if she has grown a third head. hinata then walks up and says something that made her heart drop.

“oh he just left with his girlfriend, who are you?” of course they didn’t know about her. she never went to his practices, she was too busy with her appointments.

“ah okay. sorry for the interruption!” she bows and takes her leave to look for her boyfriend. but stops when she sees the blonde making out and groping a girl from class 1-5. watching as they touch eachother as if they can’t be disrupted by anything. her eyes filling with tears and anger. she walks up to her boyfriend and punch him square on the jaw.

“ow! WHAT THE FUCK” he shifts his attention to his girlfriend that is shaking her hand to rid the pain. the commotion caused the team to come out of the gym. “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOURE DOING YOU SLUT?” he yells at her. she was taken aback. slut? “YEAH DONT THINK I HAVENT SEEN YOU SNEAK AROUND WITH THAT BOY TOY OF YOURS?!”

his insults being cutoff with a slap. the sound resonates through the wind. “FUCK YOU TSUKISHIMA KEI!” with that she runs off to the direction of her house. yamaguchi then steps up.

“ARE YOU FUCKING DUMB?!? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?” punching the blond once again and grabbing his collar to bring his face close.

“IM DUMB?! SHES THE WHORE WHO FUCKING CHEATED!”

“SHES NOT CHEATING! GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN SKULL! SHE HAS CANCER, BUT YOURE TO DAMN BLIND TO SEE THE SIGNS! SHE COULDNT GO TO OUR PRACTICES BECAUSE HER APPOINTMENTS. DID YOU EVEN NOTICE HER HAIR FALLING OUT? SHE STARTED WEARING HATS AND WIGS BECAUSE YOU CALLED HER UGLY FOR BUYING WIGS! BUT NO. YOU DIDNT NOTICE BECAUSE YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS BUSY FUCKING OTHER GIRLS TO NOTICE.”

by this point, the rest of the boys are pulling them apart.

“w-what?” the blond was appalled. she had cancer? the wigs, the hats, coughs and hacks. it made sense now. “b-bu-but who was that guy she rides with?”

“her fucking brother who came back from the states to see her!” yamaguchi shakes the boys off him and starts walking away.

tsukishima starts sprinting to the direction of her house. why didn’t she tell him? how would he have known if she didn’t tell him?

he comes to a stop, when he sees an ambulance drive off from her house. the tall boy knocks on the door to see her mom open the door. “where’s y/n?” her mother starts crying. and he knew.

“let’s go to the hospital” he looks to see y/n’s brother heading down stairs with a coat. the blond nods and gets in the car with the h/c hair male.

“she didn’t want to tell you yanno? she wanted to enjoy the time she had left with you.” the car ride was silent. when they got to the hospital, the two men quickly jumps out and heads to the front desk. as they entered they saw her fragile figure barely holding on. her lips are chapped. her color is fading fast.

it’s been hours when they’ve arrived, she still hasn’t woken up. tsukishima looks at the time and realizes visiting hours are almost over.

“I’ll be back, okay?” leaning over to give her forehead a peck and exits out the door.

but he never went back, he couldn’t stand the view of seeing her so delicate, so pale, so tired. it’s been weeks since he has last seen her. but he remembered that all she wanted was to spend time with him.

putting on his shoes he gets up and heads to the hospital. he arrives at the front desk and requests to visit y/n. he was met with the most dreaded words he never knew he would ever be met with.

“im sorry sir, but it says that she didn’t make it” the lady at the front said.

the day of the rosary came, he didn’t want to face the fact that she was actually gone. tsukishima enters her house and passes the strawberry shortcake he has brought to her mother. in the middle of the rosary he walks up to y/n’s room.

her room was decorated with anime posters and many plants. there was a cork board on the wall, photos of all their dates and her friends. on her desk was a framed selfie of their trip to tokyo. tsukishima resting his chin on her shoulder pouting while she holds up a peace sign with a big smile on her face. next to the picture we’re two dinosaurs. one is a brachiosaurus and the other is a triceratops. she would always say that the two toys were them and always kept the two together.

he picks up the framed picture and takes out the picture. he wanted to remember her. as he was taking out the photo a note slips out. he glances down at the note and read aloud,

“hi kei bae!! if you’re reading this you wanted to keep the photo right? anyways im writing this just in case anything happens to me. oh yeah i have cancer! ta da!! yeah yeah it’s not a good thing but hey, I wanted to spend all my time with you. so pls grab the picture with this and the box under my bed. there should be more photos for you. well i guess this is it. sayonara kei. ♡

-love y/n

he grabs the box under her bed to see all the photos she has take throughout their relationship. what broke him the most was a dinosaur post-it note on the bottom. it read “i love you my dino boy<3”

he never got to say goodbye, he was scared for the closure. he wanted her warmth, her soft lips against his, her angelic laughs, his shoulder to lean on. she was always there for him. his last words to her was not “i love you” or “see you later” he just wanted to hold her in his arms one last time. holding the pictures in his arms, crying his eyes out.

“sayonara y/n♡”

#tsukishima x reader #haikyu x y/n #haikyu x reader #tsukishima kei #hq angst #angst #Spotify

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