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merp3400-blog · 5 months

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New Years Resolutions maybe?

I've never really tried New Years resolutions because I have crippling depression and am chronically demotivated so I just thought that they weren't for me. I've had to get on SSRI's recently and it's been weird time to say the least. I love that they make me feel like I don't want to die but I also feel guilty about relying on them without working on myself because that's the trap I've fallen into. These tablets don't give me superpowers, I'm still extremely demotivated and have many existential crises. I decided I want to start chipping away at this problem, slowly but surely. For that, I've come up with a list of things that I want to work on and/or remind myself of constantly. Welcome to ep 1 of "Merp is doing their best please be nice to them" (In no particular order) :

Learn to voice disagreement

Stop thinking about what you think other people will think of you

Learn to be proud of and appreciate yourself for things unrelated to your academics

Try your best at everything

a) Learn to motivate yourself and b) Learn to do things even if you aren't motivated

Take care of your self and your physical health

Honorary mentions:

Always think about the motives behind your goals, push yourself for the right reasons

I'm going to go on to explain the reasoning behind each goal, you can read it if you feel like but this is here just as a reminder for me!

Learning to voice disagreement is the first resolution I thought of for this list. I've always been the kind of person who wants to "keep the peace" and avoid conflict. This ties in a lot with my second resolution as well because often I don't voice disagreement because I don't want people to think of me as a burden. But I learnt last year that there is a time and place to choose your battles and you still have to fight some of them. Rolling over often puts me in an uncomfortable situation where I feel out of control. I have the right to disagree with people's opinions and I have the right to ask for things to be done differently some times. So I'm going to start exercising that right.

There's a reason I wrote "...what you THINK other people think..." It's because I know I am an overthinker and I often twist things in my head because of it. But yeah, I want to stop thinking about what other people might think because I figured (or I think at least) that this is why I'm demotivated. I'm doing things for other people and not for me. So like, stop that LMAO

This resolution is pretty specific but I'm sure people resonate with it. I've, in the recent years, started basing my self worth SOLELY off of my academic performance which, mind you, is only average. I'm sure one can see why this is a horrible cycle to be in. This, AGAIN, ties in with the idea that "if I do well other people will think I'm smart so then I can actually be proud of myself." I want to learn to be proud of myself not by other peoples standards but by my own.

Initially, this resolution was going to be "try your best everyday" but, I know that somedays I just won't be able to, and that's fine!! I do however want to try my best at all my goals. Academic goals, hobby related goals, self growth goals, etc. I want to try my best at each and every endeavor I set out on because, I think at least, that doing your best is an objectively good quality to have. I don't necessarily mean pushing yourself to the full extent every time. As always, there's a balance to be struck!

This one is kinda the overarching goal of this entire post- tackling my demotivation. Part a) doesn't need much explanation I think. Learning to do things even when you're not motivated is actually something I saw in an odd1sout video and it's something that stuck with me. Realistically, you aren't ALWAYS going to be motivated and, in this economy, there's a lot of things you're gonna have to do even if you don't like it. So I think this quality is essential to have actually.

This last one is a pretty common resolution I'd think and I'm about to fall asleep so YEE

Overall, I don't think I'm going to be documenting my progress on these except for maybe and occasional update. This blog is more for me to work on my academics because that's very important to me at the moment (but not TOO important). But we'll see if I change my mind. If you made it this far, I'm honored you care about what I have to say. Bye for now!!

#motivation #actually mentally ill #new year #new years resolution #new year 2024 #2024 resolutions #don't look at the tags #they're embarassing #I SAID DON'T LOOK #dispersion #ignore any typos i DONT care #im sicc and BOTH my nostrils are blocked?#the audacity

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nattere · 6 months

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If the person who is in charge of hiring for companies looks me up and finds my social media, that's on them! Im not gonna sit here and please them by acting like a professional and complacent little goodie-two-shoes just so they'll even consider hiring me. If they don't like what I do IN MY PERSONAL TIME then what makes them think I'll like what they have to offer for employment? (considering that I've been applying to anything at this point, im already NOT happy with what they have to offer).

Anyway. I've applied to so many jobs lately. Jobs that I KNOW im qualified for, jobs that I'd honestly enjoy, regardless of the pay, but no. They decide to proceed without me or don't even respond back to my at all.

#call me entitled i dont fucking care anymore #i have no will anymore #im just here #im very bitter aboutcorpoations and employers right now #fuck this country #fuck this economy #fuck you america #ignore any typos

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waywardsalt · 1 year

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the minish cap manga is also pretty damn good! i like how this one actually incorporates the dungeons, even if it’s just a small bit of them. vaati is cool, ezlo is fun, and i really liked the time spent on the different types of picori. i could tell some stuff was skipped, but since i never played the full game, it didn’t detract from the experience, though i imagine the skipped sections had some lost potential. good manga.

#salty talks #bitching about the loz manga #i have no played mc all the way thought HOWEVER i have played up until past the first dungeon on some old weird site a few years ago #this one is nice. i like the artstyle #sorry if the ones where the book is good are boring. i have a hard time talking about stuff without real attachment to it #or furious hatred or something to it #hence being able to rail on oot for a while while everything after has been kinda tepid #however with ph i not only have a special interest in that game and also have Opinions on the manga so dont worry.#i miiiiight ask someone about the plot to alttp to get some extra opinions on that one's manga plot #i have played albw but only got to like the second dungeon of alttp #anyways uhhh the thing abt link looking up that one girl's skirt was weird.#please ignore any typos if i am not writing a story or an assignment i do not care

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just-some-random-blogger · 1 year

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hello gorgeous! if you doesn't mind, i have an idea. yk this cliche where 1 person makes another jealous just to fire them up and to make them confess their feelings/make out/have sex. i'm always conflicted bc yes i'm a flirty person myself but if someone does it to me? cty instantly. so can you imagine daemon making reader (who's the one he knows he will marry or they're just betrothed) jealous a lot bc he's a big shit and wants her to pay all her attention to him. but he didn't thought about oh. she's cold and strong-willed. so instead of some love making she ignores him for weeks if not months not even saying go back to your whores (sorry). just want him to beg for her love and attention bc that's what he deserves. idk about smut but angst. love angst and having power over powerful men. thank u in advance! take care!

It Takes Two

Daemon Targaryen x Reader

Summary: Just because you knew Daemon flirted as though it was a sport his life depended on, didn't mean he would not meet the flames of your wrath.

Word Count: 1k+

Warnings: daemon being a man 🤢, fem!reader, wife!reader, gaslight gatekeep girlboss, fluff, typos, etc.

A/N: HI NONNIE im blushing over here with you calling me gorgeous. I love me some good old fashioned 'oh no the consequences of my actions' and a good femme fatale i hope you like it lovie HELP IT ACCIDENTALLY TURNED INTO FLUFF IM SO SORRY I DONT HAVE THE BRAIN POWER TO FIX IT sigh i guess its what God intended because my last daemon fic was dark af Tagging: @pinksirensong @deniixlovezelda @targeryenmoony @ly--canthrope Part 2 "Since You Asked So Nicely"

He sees me from atop his horse. He is already smirking because of the ladies circled around him. He only cares to dismount after I walk away. "Slow down!" Daemon calls chuckling, removing his stupid headpiece, discarding it without a care. When he manages to grab me, I turn and crush my heel onto his foot. He lurches back in pain, snorting angrily as he watches me walk away for the second time. He manages to grab me again, only this time, he is seething and has his hands locked on both my shoulders, "what has inspired your anger this time, wife?" My nostrils in anger. I shove his iron clad chest away from me, but he does not budge, "ask your admirers, prince." Daemon's lips quirk. He releases me. I storm away. He laughs as he calls a servant, instructing him to retrieve his helmet before he follows after his enraged dragon lover.

Daemon could no longer mask that he had been annoyed, no, worried, that up till now, the doors have not opened, and the person he had been waiting for all night has not arrived.

"Is something wrong, my prince?" the woman states in a ditzy manner.

She had been a pastime, a pawn in his game. She had grown honest with the alcohol, now unable to mask the fact she was, in fact, flirting with him. He liked her better when she talked about her dress, not that he could care any less about it. But at least she sounded like she knew what she was talking about, and not like she was measuring each word she would speak before it was spoken.

Daemon does not offer her a word in regard before walking away.

He walks up to the guard that should not be in the banquet this evening, not alone, and surely not enjoying it, as though he should not be on duty.

"Elias!" the prince calls, making the man chatting with someone, turn and straighten at the sight of him walking over.

"My prince," Elias nods in regard, lowering the cup he hand in hand slightly.

"Where is the princess?" he quips, "why are you here when she is not?"

The princess' guard shakes his head and shrugs, "she is in your chambers. Rowan is keeping guard."

Daemon's brows tighten in annoyance, "she's not finished changing still?"

The guard tilts his head, "my prince, she will not be in attendance of the banquet this eve."

"What?"

"Did she not tell you?" he mutters, "she said that she felt faint and did not want to go."

Daemon's face hardens.

Without another word, he storms out of the banquet hall.

I turn to the door from the page of the book my eyes were on when I hear it burst open.

Daemon is heaving when he stills just outside the door.

"Has something happened?" I ask, with no real interest.

The prince marches over to me. I watch him up until he sits by my side and places a hand on my forehead, "are you ill?"

I push his hand away, "no."

"Are you with child?"

I roll my eyes, closing the book in my hand, "wouldn't you like that."

"Then why are you not at the banquet, by my side?"

"Hmp," I shift, turning my body to him, "I did not know you were expecting me."

"You are my wife," Daemon grabs my hand, "everyone is expecting you to be at my side."

I hum, puling my hand away. I inch past him to place my book on the bedside table, "and tell me, husband, where you waiting in earnest or with some woman by your side?"

He does not speak a word.

I scoff at him, shaking my head as I pull back and scooch down under the covers, "that is what I thought."

I snap at him when gets to his feet and rips my blanket off me.

"I've had enough of your games," he points at me, "you have been maddening as of late."

His words make me chuckle dryly. I knit my brows. "Is it I that has been playing games, Daemon?!" I quip, sitting back up, "you have been doing nothing but egg me on ever since your damned tourney and I've about had enough of you!"

I pull the blankets back up, only to have him pull it back down again.

"You know I only do this to get your attention," he says, kicking his shoes off.

I growl, swatting at him as I move to grab the blanket, "you are truly inept if you believe throwing yourself at another woman's feet will merit my attention or good graces."

He grabs the blanket from me and pulls at it, "I only meant to recreate the moment we had after the recent tourney, my love."

I practically steam in anger, releasing the blanket, making him topple back.

"If you are so desperate to recreate it that you resort to speaking with other women, then I do not want you anywhere near me!"

Daemon sighs as he crawls towards me on the bed.

I kick him off, "begone, cretin!"

Daemon, much like him, begins to find excitement in this, and even allows a smirk to play on his lips, "I love it when you call me names."

He manages to grab my leg. When he does so, he pulls me close and pins me down underneath him with his bodyweight.

"Get off!" I shove him off.

"My love," he sighs, grabbing my wrists, pressing them down beside my head, "quit the act-"

"Daemon, I swear to you, if you do not get off me this instant, I will not speak to you for an entire moon cycle."

He stills, looking down at me as he measures my words.

I raise my brows at him in challenge, "do you think I could not do it?"

It take a moments before he releases me. I could not help but gasp when he crumbles above me, sequentially nuzzling his head beside mine.

I clench my jaw at his unwanted affections, repeating more sternly, "get. off."

"You can't make me," he snips like a spiteful child.

I begin to struggle underneath him.

He whines out a desperate, "no!" He pushes down on me, nuzzling further into my shoulder. His breath is hot on my skin when he mutters something in High Valyrian that I do not understand.

I snip, "what was that?"

"I said I did not mean to actually upset you," he quickly admits.

I snort, "didn't you?"

"..."

I relax beneath him.

"... not like this."

"Then I demand an apology with tears."

"..."

"Daemon."

"Enough, I'm going to sleep."

"You are not sleeping in that," I push him off, catching him off guard. He begrudgingly rolls on his back and releases a dramatic sigh. I look at him and raise a brow, "get up right now, or I will make you get up."

He does not listen to a word I say.

The next moment, I have him off the bed. He falls with a yelp and a thud after I kick him.

Daemon rises on his knees eyeing me darkly as I pull the blankets over my me once more, "I told you so."

#daemon targaryen x reader #daemon fanfic #daemon targaryen #daemon x you #daemon x reader #daemon targaryen x you #house of the dragon fanfic #hotd fanfic #daemon targaryen fanfic #daemon fluff #daemon targaren fluff

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ginger-berrie · 1 month

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SO I JUST SAW FALSETTOS LIVE FOR THE FIRST TIME

HOLY SHIT OKAY. HEY GUYS I JUST GOT BACK FROM SEEING FALSETTOS. LIVE. MY FAVOROITE MUSICAL EVER. I HAVE WORDS TO SAY.

So firstly I of course have to say this musical is fucking phenomenal and if u havent seen it even on youtube you HAVE to. onne of the best musicals ever wrutten. ignore any typos in this my hands r still shaking and im not editing htis. OKAY.

The actors. It was a college level production but the actors were so so talented. My favorite performances were from Mendel and Jason, who both pulled off their roles INCREDIBLY. Mendel was like a carbon copy of Brandon Uranowitz he had his mannerisms DOWN. All the nervous ticks, touching his face, being generally so awkward all the time, even his face was just perfec t for the role. And Jason was played by an adult femme-presenting person but they were so good as him!!!!! their voice fit him perfectly and she also perfectly encompassed Jason;s awkward childlike nature. The entire cast was incredible but those two really stood out to me!!!! Everyone's singing voices as well were fantastic, especially Trina's—she KILLED the high notes and even sung up the octave on a few lines !!!! including the "but still the bastard divorced me" and she still belted the "you must exorcise a devil" even AFTER Im Breaking Down. In fucking sane.

THAT BEING SAID THOUGH. Even though i enjouyed every second of it I do wanna make some more analysis-related directing critiques because im fucked up and evil about this show . im so sorry just let me speak here meaout. Stating right now though I've only seen the 2016 revival (about 2 dozen times) and not the original 90's version (been meaning to watch it just havent gotten the chance) so i reserve all TRUE judgement until after I see it!!! maybe some of these choices were in the original but tbh if they were i still like how the revival did it better. okay i swear im not just one of those ppl who is like "tHaTS noT hOw ThEY dId iT On BroADwAy" calm down. thanks <3

First of all. Some of the scenes lacked energy !!!!! Thrill of first love had no homoerotic choreography!!!!! they just kinda sat there on the couch looking morose and barely looking at each other as if they truly just hate each other and feel ANYthing towards each other anymore at all. But thats not the point!!!!!! They dont fully hate each other theyre just lacking the excitement that they once had and it's been replaced with nothing but disagreements and sex. When Whizzer and Marvin do their gay little dance theyre not just dancing and being gross and sexual theyre also FIGHTING!!!! they still care about each other they just dont know how to act!!!! and marvin's a bitch of course. Marvin was still very much a bitch. But because of the lack of energy in this song there was a bit of a lack of chemistry between the two as well, which carried through the whole show. I feel like it's important to see just how gross fucked up n nasty these two are about each other to see how its truly affecting the other people in Marvin's life. Even their chemistry during the chess game was lacking. They just kinda felt like they really hated each other. Which isnt the pointtttttt. Guh

Trina (or the directors idk) also made some choices I wasn't 100% on board with but they were more subtle. Mostly in her tone about Mendel. Up through Please Come To Our House she seemed to really really like Mendel. Like it was clear she was attempting to woo him. But then when he was proposing, and when they were maknig their home together, she just seemed. Unenthused. I know Trina truly doesn't really love her life, and just needs the stability of a nuclear family, but it was odd to see her not even attempt to keep up the facade on her own. Her and Mendel were similarly lacking in a lot of chemistry because of this, which, maybe to some of you makes sense but to me i do want to see them be close even if Mendel isn't absolutely the best.

LAST CRITIQUE OKAY. This one is BIG SPOILERS if u havent seen it yet but probably if ur reading this far youve already seen it okay. The fuckign bar mitzvah!!!!! There was no acknowledgement from Whizzer to Jason as he was reading his Torah !!!!!!! He just layed there in the hospital bed, facing AWAY from the audience so we could only see the very top of his head (which was on purpose for a quick change but) and he didnt get up at all to thank Jason or even acknowledge him :( for all the audience knows maybe he didnt even see Jason get bar mitzvahd. screaming crying throwing up.

OKAY IM DONE W BEING MEAN HERES A BIG CHANGE I REALLY LOVED !!!!!! as well as some smaller changes that i also really liked or were jsut neutral things i noticed

For most of act 2, up until Days Like This, They had this really cool circus imagery? Now once again idk if this is in the OG, but they had a picture of each cluster of characters set up on either side of the stage, and each of them was doing some sort of circus act both in the pictures and on stage, especially during A Day in Falsettoland. When a character was having their point in the song, they'd sometimes cut the lights briefly and suddenly the characters would be struggling to perform their little circus act, and each of them had a differnt one respectively and they all represented their immaturities/flaws/struggles:

Jason was on stilts, representing his need to grow up and perhaps his perceived mental maturity compared to the other characters

Trina was balancing/spinning plates on sticks, representing her need to keep balance and order in her life

Marvin + Whizzer were fencers because of their lingering animosity, yet newfound respect, for one another. Fencing isnt a dangerous sport, like you dont actually hurt your opponent in it, but it;s still a fight and youre still pointoing a weapon at them. guh. (AND BTW they did this during the racquetball scene and HOLY SHIT. I just gotta describe this one. Racquetball number 1 They had their little racquets as they were singing to each other but then when they got really into the game the lights would cut and then theyd be FENCING each other instead!!!!! and then the lights would cut again and itd go back to racquetball!!!! BUT THEN in the racquetball number 2 when it cut to them fencing ONLY MARVIN HAD A SWORD. WHIZZER STILL HAD HIS RACQUET. GIUUHUHGGHGHGHGHGH.;..,.,/;;'.';.;'[[[.)

Then the lesbians from next door were like a duo balancing/acrobatics act where they were always leaning on each other and picking each other up which was cute but also like. Charlotte would start falling in one direction and Cordelia would have to scrambke to catch her. I always hail them as the healthiest couple in the show but sometimes i forget they have problems too, like Cordelia;s insecurity and Charlotte's stress over the virus of course.

And finally Mendel!!!! was the fucking ringmaster!!!!! He had a hoop and a top hat and every time he was trying to calm down Jason (Everyone Hates His Parents), or Caroline, or Trina (A Day in Falsettoland), he would appear with his hoop and top hat, to show that HE is the one who needs to "control" other people's lives, or at least he feels the need to direct them. Mendel of course needs to feel like he's smarter than everyone else and like he's the only one who can help people. It really drove that home and it was an insane realization to come to. Phenomenal directing choice idk who came up with that but. bravissimo to you

Now miscellaneous stuff i liked or noticed!!!

They didn't have the big ol foam block. just some couch ends that they moved around to be diff pieces of furniture. If you've ever seen Waiting In The Wings' analysis on falsettos you might have seen a comment in the youtube section discussing how in the set design for the revival, the lack of real furniture through most of the show represents the lack of maturity of the characters, and as things get serious for them, more real props and set pieces get added. Like the chess board, the decor for Mendel + Trina's home, Whizzer's suitcase, the whole hospital room, etc. They didn't lean into that with this but i think that's fine! its not a necessary detail in my opinion and they did their best with what they had!!

Marvin didn't hand whizzer the suitcase after the chess game. He just grabbed it, and packed it himself. I was waiting for him to slam it into whizzer's chest or something. but no. Whizzer just picked it up and walked off. okay. Neutral bad change imo

Marvin's performances of What would I do and What more can i Say were. Breathtaking. Marvin actor if you're out there reading this your voice is lovely and carries so much emotion in your solo numbers. I Did Cry. a little bit

god their group number harmonies were AMAZING. All of the cast members' voices blended together so well and it was absolutely beautiful. the whole show was beautiful and i adored it i swear. I jsut need somwhere to put my feelings

THE ORCHESTRA FUCKED. IT FUCKED

Okay its getting late now and im fading quickly BUT IF U READ THIS FAR UR INSANE. This is for me and nobody else i just eneded to feelings dump. tl;dr: i fucking lvoe falsettos this was one of the best nights of my life i love you actors i love you pit i love you lighting i love you run crew i love you sound crew i love you musical theatre

#falsettos #falsettos 2016 #musicals #musical theater #musical review #rambles #ramblings #shiksa caterer #short insomniacs #hypochondriacs #yiddish americans #spiky families #radiologist #intellectuals #nervous wrecks #sigh #falsettoland

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kumezyzo · 9 months

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thinking about how lowkey toxic a relationship with corpse would be....

warning, this is very angsty. to the point where i lowkey shed a tear writing this. and that doesnt usually happen lol.

gn!reader (as far as im aware) and sorry for the typos if there are any... 😁

anyway, enjoy! or dont :) m.list

it would prolly just start with you two hanging out. going over to his apartment, maybe hooking up once in a blue moon. but you two mainly cuddling and spending the days together in the dark rooms of his apartment.

he would try to hide from you how much pain he was in when you were around. but it wasnt hard to miss how he would wince at tiny movements and never be able to rest with you in his arms.

and when it got really bad, he hated how you helped him get around with no questions. how you so simply wanted to help him out because you cared. how you would even help him shower, bring in his groceries, cook for him, feed him if you had to.

he hated it because you cared more than anyone had before and you werent even dating. he wished you would just give up on him because it was too much. he wished you would just finally tell him 'hey... we need to talk' because maybe then it would be easier to hate you. but the truth is, he could never hate you. not anymore.

"so... you dont want to be in a relationship?" you asked quietly, confused more than anything. you look at his scarred face and messy head of dark curls. "...why?"

he sighed, "because this is too much," you scoffed, only more confused than before.

"what is?" you looked at him like he was crazy.

"...you," he said lowly, his voice resonating deep in his chest as he ran a hand over his face. you felt your heart pang as you diverted your eyes from him. you pursed your lips and your breathing got heavier. "well- not you- just-... this isnt worth the trouble im putting you through. that i will put you through."

"thats not for you to decide," you tell him, shaking your head at him. "I can choose when to call it quits and so far, im still fucking here."

you couldnt help but be offended. who wouldnt be after the person you care about is pushing you away. as far as you know, its unfair and incredibly ignorant.

"yea but how long until youre not?" he asked back angrily. "how long until you realize you can be doing so much more than taking care of me?"

"i dont want to be doing more! i want to be with you!" you tell him incredulously. he sighs and wets his lips, shaking his head at you. "do you just not want to be with me?"

he looks at you as if you had just said the earth was flat, "of course i do."

"so then why cant we?" you ask in complete exasperation. "what the fuck is the problem?"

"youre too fucking good for me!" he yelled back stepping closer to you. he threw his arms up in defeat, "is that what you want me to tell you? cause its fucking true. and i love you too much to let you rot away beside me."

your expression softens as your eyes dart back and forth between his eyes. in that moment you were speechless. and not because he had told you that he loved you, no you already knew that from his actions. it was the way he had said it. with more emotion than you could have expected from him.

"what if i wanted to 'rot away beside you'?" you asked him quietly.

"then you'd be an idiot," he says simply. "because we both know you have better shit to do. and better people to do that for."

you inhale deeply and release it as another exasperated sigh, "i love you," you say, emphasizing every word. "and its up to me whether or not i stay with you."

"and its up to me whether or not i want you here," he says crossing his arms. you feel you heart pang again, causing painful tingles to run down your arms and settle deep in your palms. "you need to run while you can. fucking get out of here before this gets more fucked up and shitty." you watched as he pointed between you two.

you step closer to him, "what are you so afraid of?" you plead to him with your eyes. just for this moment, for him to open up to you like how he had done hundreds of times before. "are you that scared I'll leave you cause you're what? 'too much'?"

he looked you in the eye, hesitating to speak for a moment. "i-..." he takes a deep breath. "yeah..."

you step closer, "youre not. not now. and it will only get easier." he starts shaking his head, backing away from you. "yes, it will! and if it ever gets to that point-"

"when it gets to that point," he tried correcting.

"no, if. because everything is an if," you say angrily. "you have no clue what its gonna be like. no fucking clue! so let us have this. while it lasts."

he sighs for what seems like the hundredth time that night, "i cant risk that."

"risk what? heartbreak? as if neither of us have gone through that before hundreds of times," you scoff.

"yeah, but ive never been heartbroken over someone like you."

"so then we hope that doesnt happen," you're trying. you're trying so hard to hold onto him. but your grasp is slipping. and he's trying to shake you loose.

"i cant take my chances," he shakes his head. "not this time."

"jesus fucking chirst!" you yell, tears welling up in your eyes. "let me love you! let me be with you! let me take care of you!"

"i cant let you do that! dont you fucking get it?!" he asks stepping closer to you until hes not even a foot away. "i dont want to see you leave! i cant have you around, cause when you do leave, i dont know what I'll do to myself!"

you stare into his eyes as your own vision starts to get blurry from unshed tears. you sniffle, keeping you gaze strongly on him. and you try one final time.

"so dont let me leave now, please," your voice comes out like a whisper. he swallows harshly and closes his eyes to stop his own tears from forming. "i dont want to move on from you when we havent even given it a chance."

"you'll have to," his voice matches yours. he opens his eyes and a tear falls as he looks at you. "fucking find someone who can actually hold you at night. who can make you dinner, who can give you a shower when you cant, who can actually fuck you when you want."

you tried to scoff, but it came out more like a sob, "i dont need that. i need you," your voice weak from the burn in the back of your throat. unshed tears welling up more.

"no you dont," he says, stepping closer. then leaning his forehead on yours. he closes his eyes, "please, go. for me."

your body racks out a sob, gasping for air to get out your next sentence. "if i leave, im just gonna wait for you."

he shakes his head against you, "no. no you wont."

"I'll wait until you realize you do deserve proper love." he continues to shake his head, pretending as if your words arent punching him right in the heart. "ill wait even if it takes you twenty fucking years."

"do you really think I'll survive twenty more years?" he asks with a laugh. you giggle back sadly, pursing your lips at the posibility of him dying. "do you really think I'll find my self-worth that soon?"

"I'll wait as long as i need to."

and you leave. with such a heavy heart but not without more tears than you could have imagined. and you try to move on. not easily but you put in an effort.

he writes songs with lyrics dedicated to you. written for you. whether its in a song about how he only want you at his side or how he has one person he will always be loyal to or about how his exes tried to chance him but one was different. you listen to it and somehow know its you.

you try to find a new partner to fill that void. but he will always be in your mind. as the right person but at the wrong time. the one that got away, if you will.

i like how angsty this was. anywayy, hope you enjoyed 😁😁 -nony

#corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse #corpse x reader #corpse x you #corpse husband x you #angst #corpse angst #corpse husband angst #corpse husband x reader angst #corpse x reader angst #corpse x you angst #nony's back on her bs #aka im mentally ill #aka my angst is fireeee #alexa play fire by bts #nony speaks #teehee #help?

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lizard-shifter-noms · 2 months

Text

Still Subject to Change Chapter 9 (NEW)

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Hello everyone! i decided to repost arc 1 of SSTC

(the chapters were way too long and had a bunch of typos but hopefully this will make reading easier)

this Story contains Vore, Dont like dont read.

if there are still any grammatical errors i'm sorry.

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Seeing the forest come closer I was actually relieved to finally be out of here and looked over my shoulder to see that the tower really was built to keep big Monsters in there with its thick walls and embedded spikes.

I shuddered and hoped I would never see this thing again, so turning back I instead focused on the treeline and not stepping on anyone.

Yep, still weird to think about that I could end someone's life with a single misstep and I tried not to think about it, and instead just drag my feet over the ground so that if someone were to be there they'd get toppled over and not squished under me.

Reaching the Forest's edge I assumed that they would let us go now, but it seemed we were still too close to their Kingdom so we had to walk into the forest even further.

I didn't dare speak out of fear that they would shoot me, but Robin seemed to have no such concerns.

“When are we there? I want to talk to Donovan, also where's Arthur?”

I tensed at his last Question accidentally squishing Arthur a tiny bit making him move more than before and I hurried to hold my breath and cut off his air supply, however that worked.

He stopped moving after a few seconds but this sure had been a scare, if he had woken up and someone noticed it we would have been fucked.

I still felt incredibly guilty but it couldn't be helped, I just hoped he'd understand.

I almost missed the guy's answer as I was busy holding my breath and my attention was focused more… inwards.

“Oh you can talk to your big friend later ALLLLLL you want as for this Arthur guy? He's been taken care of don't worry”

I did Not like the condescending tone the Guard had used but I couldn't really do anything about it which frustrated me even more.

At least Rikaad was able to step between them and shot a death glare at the offending guard who actually backed up a bit.

We continued walking in silence, safe for the Guards communicating amongst themselves.

I could feel Arthur lying limply against my insides, only moving occasionally and sending a thrill up my nervous system whenever he made a bigger movement.

I tried to Ignore it but since he was literally inside me that was near impossible, and I couldn't help but worry about the feeling.

What if that's what the Bracelet made me do? What if one day it urged me to eat someone for real?

Shoving these thoughts down I instead focused on the road so I wouldn't trip, and I could see that the tower was a bit further away now.

I really hoped they would just let us be already but it seemed that we were still too close to the Kingdom for their comfort.

At this point we had already passed the spot where I got shot at and were led even deeper into the woods towards the mountain.

Coming to a bigger clearing they ushered Robin and Rikaad to be in the center and threw both of them a bag, probably their own stuff judging by the clunking sound of metal.

The Guards still surrounded me, but I wanted them to go away already so I could talk to Robin and try to find a spot where I could let Arthur out so Rikaad wouldn't see it.

Arthur himself was still peacefully asleep, courtesy of a low oxygen environment and had thankfully not woken up during all of this.

But I did dread the part where he would, I didn't know how he would react and it scared me.

I also had to fight to keep my hand from settling over the warm lump in my core so as to not give away anything to the Guards.

The Guards walked around me to stand at the treeline of the small clearing, I didn't move as I really didn't want to step on someone.

Suddenly a Horse came up with an ironclad knight on its back.

The rider removed the helmet and i could see that it was the king, nobody else i knew had such a monobrow.

Did he follow us? I immediately became worried, Would he tell the others that I ate Arthur? I hoped not.

The guards all stood in a line next to him with their crossbows loaded.

I had a bad feeling about this and I was proven right as the king suddenly had a wicked grin on his face.

“SOLDIER! AIM! SHOOT THE BEAST! I WILL NOT TOLERATE SUCH A MONSTER NEAR MY KINGDOM!”

Aa all the Guards suddenly aimed their crossbows at me.

I didn't even wait to see what they would do and Instead turned to run in the opposite direction, snatching up Robin and Rikaad as I did so and getting the hell away from there as fast as I could.

Ignoring Rikaads surprised shout i just ran towards the mountains to bring as much distance between us and Maringand as possible making sure to not drop either of them.

Feeling Arthur start to move again I held my breath once more hoping that he'd fall back asleep even with all the movement.

It took longer than before and sprinting while not breathing made my lungs burn but after about three minutes he was still again.

I really hoped none of the others had noticed him squirming but glancing down while running showed that Rikaad was focused on the way we came, probably looking for any pursuers and Robin was just Clinging to my fingers.

I ran until I could no more, occasionally holding my breath to prevent Arthur from waking up.

I didn't really know how long I had been running but as I looked back I could not see the tower anymore and it was well after midday.

I sank to my knees gently letting Robin and Rikaad to the ground while I panted, my lungs burned from running and holding my breath and I did my best to calm down as fast as possible.

I did not want Arthur to wake up now from all this, not now at least.

I was still trying to figure out how to handle this and having him wake up now would be extremely awkward.

Rikaad seemed to stand Guard and looked in the direction we came from.

“We should continue after you rested, then we can figure out what happened to Arthur and how to get him back”

Ah fuck i really needed to make a plan.

Looking at Robin instead to make sure he was alright too and I didn't grab him too harshly I saw him staring at me, or more specifically my middle.

While I sat there I had unconsciously put a hand over my Pouch where Arthur lay and I yanked it back, looking at Robin and putting a finger over my lips to tell him to never say a word about it.

He nodded but still tilted his head at me with curious look in his eyes, i would tell him later what had happened, when I got the chance to do that without Rikaad listening in.

Being hunched over like this made the weight in my core just a lot more prominent as Arthur was lying on what was previously the front wall.

Getting up again and holding my breath anew even if I still felt like I needed more time to rest.

And feeling Arthur slide around in my pouch when I was hunched over was a bit weird.

I wanted to go as far away as possible as fast as possible from that place so I forced myself to continue on.

“Alright let's go i want to never go near that hellhole again we can worry about Arthur when i'm sure i wont get shot again”

I slowly stood up and went to walk even more towards the mountain.

I was glad that riding on horseback through the woods was not a good idea, otherwise we'd have to worry about that too right now.

Holding my breath again I went in the direction of the mountains in a straight line, not like there were any roads here anyway.

Robin scrambled after me and Rikaad started to walk faster too to keep up.

“It is going to be dark soon we should look for a campsite if possible”

At Rikaads words i looked around, it was indeed getting darker, How long had i been running?

No matter right now I needed to get Arthur out without the others or at least Rikaad noticing and I still didn't have a plan on how to do that.

So we ended up setting up a temporary camp near a river, still far enough to not be able to see said river but close enough to get water, and I felt extremely awkward the entire time.

I had their Friend within me for fucks sake! And the only one that didn't know was Rikaad at this point.

It didn't help that I had to fight with myself to keep my hands from straying to settle onto my middle.

If Rikaad did notice my odd behavior he didn't say anything about it luckily.

I kept frequently holding my breath to make sure Artur did not wake up and hoped to God that this wouldn't give him brain damage from the low oxygen he had been exposed to for some time now.

The Dark came as soon as we managed to light a fire, The crackling sounds provided a soothing white noise and I finally got an idea as I saw in the glinting light how dirty my legs had become.

And not just my legs, everything about me was dusty and on some spots downright caked in dried or fresh mud.

So I stood up and on the other two confused looks told them what I was going to do.

“I'm going to wash myself in the river, stay here i don't want any of you seeing me without clothing”

Robin looked a bit confused at first but then nodded, motioning a thumbs up, he'd been weirdly quiet since the capture.

I would talk to him later to make sure he was alright but for now I had other things to deal with.

Rikaad just made a dismissive hand motion and instead focused on the fire so I left to go a good bit downstream, away from where they could hear or see me.

I went a good bit further than that to make sure that even if it got loud they wouldn't notice, which took about five minutes to walk.

I had stopped holding my breath while walking and I could feel Arthur start to move again as I took deep breaths to supply him with fresh air.

The movements were confused at first, then a curious hand prodded my insides before he went still again, not unconscious, more like a stiff weight that held itself and it seemed like he was terrified of moving.

I even heard him say.

“Oh fuck”

I finally allowed myself to put a hand on my abdomen and poked at him, receiving a surprised noise in response.

“Arthur? Are you okay?”

He shifted confusedly for a second before answering.

“What? You ate me, why would you ask that?”

He seemed still a bit groggy so I would do one thing after the other for now.

“I didn't really eat you, but can you tell me if you're okay?”

I was a bit worried over the fact that I had essentially kept him in a low air environment and hoped I didn't damage his brain or something.

“What do you mean by that? And uh… well i Feel fine? wait-”

He started shifting a lot and I had to bite back a pleased hum at the feeling of having my insides rubbed, I didn't want to scare him after all.

“What the FUCK! Donovan, what the hell is going on?!”

He suddenly was a lot more energetic, seemingly having figured out that he'd been in there for some time now and was still okay.

So best to finally explain this…chaos.

“First off you're fine! And you will stay fine! You're not in my stomach okay?”

“Where the hell am I then? You fucking ate me!”

Well there was the anger, but now I knew that beneath that anger was fear, so I would try my best to reassure him.

“You are in my pouch not my stomach, basically i have some of my organs doubled but not all of them work so you're fine and nothing will happen to you in there”

He seemed to freeze at my words, likely trying to comprehend what I just told him.

Then I felt an indignant kick against my insides.

“WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THIS SOONER!”

Now he really was angry instead of afraid and I sighed.

“I literally couldn't! Not with that Monobrow guy listening in! He would have killed us both!

Besides You said it yourself that you couldn't act to save your life! I'm sorry that I had to do this but it's better than death isn't it?”

He seemed to calm down at my words, probably realizing that I was right.

“So wait, are we still in the tower or why are you suddenly talking to me? And how did you manage to keep me asleep during all of this???”

At least those two questions were easy to answer but I hoped he wouldn't get angry again at hearing that I had deprived him of air.

“We are not in the tower anymore, i got us as far away as possible when we got out, as for keeping you asleep well uh- I just held my breath so you'd get less air?”

He didn't kick or punch me, instead he just flopped backwards against the walls of my pouch.

“You know what, okay why not? Are at least Robin and Rikaad okay? Wait, do they know I'm in here?”

I decided to try and answer the questions in the order I heard them.

“The others are okay, they are at out camp a bit away and no the don't know where you are, at least Rikaad doesn't, and i'd appreciate it if you'd never tell them about this, i'm not keen on getting stabbed by Rikaad to be honest”

He shifted again a bit and I had to suppress another delighted hum.

“So if we are away from the tower can you let me out? No offense but i don't like this and i never want to repeat it”

Walking a bit into the stream after chucking my shoes onto a boulder to keep them dry while he talked I could understand that he didn't want to do this ever again, so as long as he promised to not tell anyone I'd let him out as soon as possible.

“Of course I'll let you out just give me a sec, also can you promise me to never tell Rikaad about this? I'll help you come up with a believable cover story if you want”

Coming up with something would probably be difficult as he admitted to being a bad actor, so something simple would have to do.

Feeling him move again to sit up I walked even deeper into the widest part of the river, but the water still didn't go over my entire legs so I just stood there in the calves deep water listening for his answer.

“Yeah sure, i even swear on God to not tell Rikaad unless you tell me to, now get me out of here”

“Alright… try to go limp… i'm going to get you out now”

I felt a squirm of confirmation as I pressed in with my hand, and tensed up as I forced my body to throw up the form in my pouch.

Feeling something travel the wrong way up your esophagus wasn't by any means pleasant but I was used to it by now from the years of hiding valuables in there.

It wasn't long until I felt the cursing form of Arthur reenter my mouth and I plucked him out with two fingers, dangling him over the river in the pale moonlight.

“Fucking hell! How long was I in there? And set me down already! I hate this!”

I couldn't really set him down right now as I stood in the middle of the river and he would get swept away by the cool water that flowed around my legs so I instead cupped him in my hands.

He was a lot less slimy than I thought he'd be but still needed a wash to get rid of the bit of slime that did cling to him.

“One second, unless you want me to dump you in the river, also how are you? Are you okay?”

I walked back towards the riverbank so I could set him down.

“I've seen better days to be honest, and i'm sorry for what my uncle did to you guys”

Setting him down slowly onto the rocky dirt covered shore I went to wring out the hem of my shirt that had gotten wet when I bent over to get Arthur out before what he said registered in my brain.

“That Was Your Uncle??? What? Wait a sec, if that guy is your uncle then-”

He interrupted me before I could say another word.

“Yes my dad was the King, but frankly i didn't really know him aside from when i had to stand at his side during some stupid events, and no i'm not sad that he's dead i never cared about being some stupid royalty, at least i wasn't inbred like some of my other relatives”

He seemed to shudder at the last bit and not entirely from the cold.

“I thought Winton had told you who i am, ah fuck, how about you don't tell anyone about my royalty status and i keep quiet about the pouch thing okay?”

This did seem like a good deal but one thing confused me.

“Deal! Though, Who the fuck is Winton? Is that the monobrow guy? Don't tell me That ugly fuck is your uncle”

He flopped over into the mud of the riverbank groaning.

“Yes he is, i like to pretend that he's not though, i hate him”

That was completely understandable, I had only been around that guy for about a day and I already despised him as much as physically possible, and Arthur had to live with that for who knew how long.

Though now we needed to come up with a reason as to why Arthur wasn't kept captive anymore.

“So, any idea for a cover story? You know Maringand better than me”

He flopped onto his back in the dirt sighing.

“I'll just tell them i escaped through the sewers, as disgusting as it is it's believable enough and they probably won't ask for details”

That sounded good enough, I knew I wouldn't ask how someone crawled through a sewer, or at least not expect them to answer it.

“So can we go back now? I want to actually see Robin and Rikaad again”

That would be nice, but suddenly coming back with Arthur might be a bit suspicious, there was no way he would have kept up with us, especially since he had way shorter legs than I did and I had done an Adrenaline fueled sprint away from Maringand.

“Not a good idea, you suddenly turning up this fast is going to raise questions so maybe not today, ehh Night i mean”

It would be even better if he backtracked a bit so when Rikaad would usher us back to get him we'd ‘meet’ him on the way.

“Maybe even backtrack a bit? Rikaad is going to go back to get you anyway so if you go back a bit we meet you there and it's more believable”

He slowly sat up, now having mud stuck to the back of his shirt and put a hand over his face.

“Yeah that is a plan, not one im looking forward to but im not going to admit that i was eaten and didn't even do anything to stop you, that's just awkward and kinda embarrassing”

At least he shared my view on that point, so I went to sit next to him in the mud.

I would wash that anyway so I wasn't concerned with getting it even dirtier.

“Well you better get moving then, you have to go downstream and a bit to the right”

I pointed to where he had to go and he slowly stood up and started walking, even if his legs seemed to be moving a bit weirdly, they probably fell asleep in the time he didn't use them.

I was right in my guess as Arthur actually did comment on it.

“Dude my legs are wonky, how long was I in there? no wait don't answer I don't wanna know that, see you and the others tomorrow?”

The last part went an octave higher and I could clearly see that he was worried but did not want to show it.

Instead he started to walk through the woods and I hoped that I hadn't just made a mistake, After all, the woods were still dangerous and now he was unarmed.

I REALLY hoped I hadn't made an irreversible error but he was already out of sight so I went back to striding into the river, planning to finally get all the dirt out of my shirt and pants.

The cool water felt Pleasant against my sore legs and while I just let the stream wash away the mud on my pants I took my shirt off and swirled it in the water a few times to get everything out.

Dragging the now heavier shirt out of the water i wrung it out a few times before realizing that if i put it on again i'd likely get a cold or something, So the shirt had to stay off until it was dried.

Ah Fuck.

That ment i had to go back to the camp shirtless and try to dry it against the comparatively small fire we had.

I hoped no one would take offense to the fact that my top half was naked, but knowing Robin he'd more likely ask about my scars than complain about me missing my shirt.

Standing on the riverbank I wrung out my pants as best as I could while wearing them and slipped my shoes back on as I started to walk back, trying all the while to wring out my shirt as best as I could so it would dry faster.

I returned to a happily flickering fire and saw Rikaad inspecting Robin's face, apparently checking for bruises.

I realized with a pang that I might be too big to see small injuries, at least Rikaad was here to assess them.

Upon hearing me come back two heads simultaneously looked at me but Rikaad went back to checking Robin over who grinned at me.

Something was wrong with his teeth but I couldn't figure out what, I was too far away and probably too big too.

I sat next to the fire and put my shirt as close as I dared, I didn't want it catching on fire after all, then gave a worried look over to Robin.

“Are you alright? You've been weirdly quiet since we left Maringand”

He motioned for me to get closer and I bent down to be more at eye level for him.

He showed off his teeth and I finally saw what was wrong, The tooth behind his left canine had a small piece missing making his canine appear far more pronounced, like a fang.

No wonder he's been so quiet that must have been painful.

“How did that happen? Are you okay? Does it hurt?”

He shook his head, making his messy ginger hair bounce around his skull.

“I'm fine, one of the Maringand Guards told me to shut up and hit my teeth, but that aside where did your shirt go??”

I was glad he seemed to be okay and gestured vaguely to the shirt lying next to the fire.

“I'm letting it dry before putting it back on, not keen on catching a cold out here”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Rikaad nodding.

“A good idea, though we should rest soon i will take first watch”

He did have a point in that, we really should sleep soon and i could put my shirt back on tomorrow as embarrassing as them seeing my scars was i wouldn't risk a sickness right now.

“Is that where your kidney is missing?”

I flinched a bit at the question, it seemed Robin had come closer as I stared into the Flames of the campfire and was looking at the pale line of scar tissue at my side.

“Yeah it is, i'm glad i punched that guy when i did or had have killed me for sure”

He seemed to stare at it a bit longer before his gaze became that glazed over look again for half a minute.

He snapped out of it and shook his head.

“You have any more scars? You don't have to tell me though!”

Well I did have a few more but most of them were from mundane stuff like falling off a tree or climbing into small spaces, though there was a long thin line across my back doing shoulder to shoulder that I received from a blade.

PREVIOUS / NEXT / OVERSIGHT

#sstc #lizards writing #vore story #giant/tiny #soft vore #extreme cuddling #g/t story #g/t vore #v0re #sfw vore #Barmea #Maringand #magic

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dirksawesomesprites · 1 month

Note

Sorry for that one comment I sent you. I just wanted my requests done, and didn't want to be blocked for being a proshipper. If you want a definition of proshipper I'll give it to you.

Proshipper: Pro is a prefix, not short gor problematic. That's wordplay.Someone who is for shipping, regardless of ship; anti-anti. Can sometimes correspond with anti-censorship, pro-fiction, or anti-harassment. This term has sometimes been twisted by antis via wordplay as a way to harrass proshippers for what they ship because they deem it problematic.

Just finish my requests and be done with it, okay? Even the Geno sprite.

i dont harass proshippers, i leave them alone because they probably get enough hate as it is. i just block them so i dont have to deal with them.

the pro in proship means support, not problematic. i know that. it is pro-any ships. including stuff like incest or pedophilla. which is why i dont like to interact with them. if they arnt hurting anyone or being weird about it? i dont care.

ive been acused of being a proshipper enough to know the hate they get bombarded with, and im not going to encourage people to do the same to others. ive been harassed enough in my life and i dont want others to experiance that aswell. im not saying go harass shitsolkat or the favship blog whatever their name was. but i dont support them.

proshippers can do what they want, i dont care, aslong as it is not harmful or they are proclaiming that incest and pedophilla is ok.

i understand that most proshippers indulge in that to cope with truama or maybe other issues that do not concern me. but other times it could be a mask to protect them from being seen as an actual pedo or someone who indulges in real incest. i dont care if its of fictional characters, it dosnt effect me? but when its real people like eddsworld for example, that effects actual people. which isnt cool.

i dont like incest, pedophilla, whatever proshippers indulge in. but im not going to support it. ive made it clear i dont like them. but im not going to harass them. nor will i encourage my following to do so either.

listen i dont care what you do behind close doors, you or any other person. but when youre public about it dont expect people to be accepting, especially if you identify as something people dont agree with, like a proshipper. i honestly dont give a shit. i just dont want it on my dash.

i hope you guys can read this and understand. i know proship does not stand for problematic ship. im pretty well educated believe it or not, i just dont like to talk about stuff like this unless necessary like now, because my frequent typos and not the best grammer makes me look worse. but i do know what im talking about. im not trying to flex or something but as someone who has had college level academic scores since middle school and and know most shit adults dont i think i have a place here to talk.

again im not trying to "flex" my knowlage, just trying to show people im not an idoit and why i feel like i know enough to speak on this matter. i know what the pro prefix means. its the same pro used in things like prolife procensoreship whatever.

sorry for this long post but i need to clear things up

i am not a proshipper. thank you very much roxy and tree eridan for telling people so. /sarc

i do not hate proshippers. you can interact with my posts, but just know im not on your side. i will just ignore or block you.

and to my followers? dont harass proshippers, or any people deemed "problematic" if i see anyone who follows or interacts with me doing so you will be blocked. i will not let anyone who does that shit interact with me. i have dealt with harassment, second hand and first hand enough in my life and i will NOT let anyone else experiance what i did at the hands of others hatefull actions and words. even if you dont agree with them. just leave them alone.

you can bring awareness to someones actions, but do not harass them. it wont fix anything.

again i apologize for this essay post. but this is a sensitive topic and felt i needed to talk about it

#dirksawesomesprites #ask #not a sprite post #proship tw #tw proship #proship warning #harassment tw #anti harassment #harassment warning

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kissland69 · 2 years

Text

“the baby project”

robin x f!reader p.2

*enemies to lovers, strong language, sexuality acceptance, if there’s any mistakes or typos please ignore, y/n/m = y/n mom*

“WHEN IS THIS THING SHUTTING UP!” robin yelled towards y/n’s direction “I DONT KNOW! IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE CRYING FOR THIS LONG!” yelled y/n back with the fake bottle in her hand “oh my god, here you have it, i can’t keep rocking this thing” robin said while passing the plastic crying baby to y/n, while y/n rocked to baby gently from side to side the sound of the front door opening echoed through the house and the sound of her mothers voice came from downstairs “Y/N I’M HOME! COME HELP ME WITH GROCERIES!” yelled y/n’s mother “here, just keep rocking it, i’ll be right back” y/n said, handing the baby back to robin gently and rushing downstairs leaving the teen alone in her room. while y/n was downstairs helping her mother, robin was looking around the now unfamiliar room “she changed a lot of things in here..” robin said under her breath, slowly walking around with the baby still in her long arms, as robin kept looking around she spotted a notebook “i remember this! she used to write everything down in this thing” robin said while reaching out to the notebook, the spine of the notebook now broken and the pages off white and wrinkled “she would kill me if i go through this but..i just want to know if she still writes in it” said robin to herself while skimming through pages. robin skipped through the flimsy pages and finally landed on the last entry “1985, november 11th, she wrote this today..” robin said and continued reading “today wasn’t as bad as i expected, classes went by quickly, i was finally able to get the last red velvet muffin and me and robin didn’t argue as much. speaking of robin, i’n working with her on a project and i honestly think it’d be a good opportunity to tell her why i stopped talking to her and maybe fix our friendship…nah forget it, she literally hates me but i can’t complain…it was my fault for all of this happening.” robin read to herself with wide eyes “oh my god…steve WAS right, she stopped talking to me for some reason but what is the reason..” robin said while placing the book back then siting on the soft bed “hey robin, wanna stay for dinner? if you don’t then that’s fine, mom just wanted me to ask you” y/n said, her figure leaning against the door frame “y-yeah i’ll stay..uh the baby stopped crying by the way” robin said with a shaky voice “that’s great…why are you so nervous right now?” questioned y/n “w-what i’m not nervous, just a little hot” robin replied with a pink face “take off your sweater geek, i’m not turning down the heat” y/n said with a grin then turning around to head back downstairs “was that her being nice to me? OH MY GOD IT WAS! okay calm down buckley it isn’t that serious…i just kinda miss being here..” robin said to herself sadly with a soft smile on her lips.

-y/n’s pov-

“so are you and robin good again? you know it was kind of rude to stop talking to her the way you did” y/n’s mom said softly “i know…but i already told you why i stopped talking to her, falling for your best friend isn’t easy, especially when she’s a girl and i’m a girl” y/n said with a sad expression on her features “i know..but you didn’t have to stop being friends with her” y/n/m replied while handing her groceries to put in the refrigerator “yes i did, i can’t just keep being friends with her when i want to be more then that, also i’m not sure if she’ll accept me with open arms the way you did” said a frustrated y/n “you don’t know that y/n, you can’t just assume. robin isn’t the type of girl to push you to the side because of your sexuality” y/n/m said while softly placing a hand on her cheek “but if i tell her that i fell in love with her she would..” y/n replied with teary eyes “i know it might be scary to fall in love with someone you cared for so deeply but i think maybe you should eventually tell her why you stopped talking to her, she deserves an explanation” y/n/m said, closing y/n into a gentle and reassuring hug “i will…just not right now..” y/n said while laying her head on her mom’s shoulder, feeling the warmth melt away the discomfort and anxiousness she was feeling. the clock read 7:14pm, robin and y/n imperturbably listened to the radio, “wrapped around your finger” by the police playing “hey..i wanna tell you that i don’t hate you or anything…i know we argue a lot but i can’t hate you” robin suddenly says, slightly leaning backwards in the office chair y/n recently bought for herself “i’m glad you said that because i completely feel the same way…i know it was very immature of me to stop talking and being friends with you but you have to understand it was for a certain reason that i can’t get into right now..” y/n replied nervously “you do know you can tell me anything, i miss when you did..” robin said while sliding the chair in front of y/n’s figure “i miss it too but…i really can’t, i just don’t want you to start hating me, i’m lucky i still talk to you even if it’s us arguing” y/n said with tight lipped smile “how can i hate you? you literally threw a tray filled with someone’s lunch straight at my face and i still want to have a sleepover with you like old times” robin said while laughing “same here…i want things to go back like it was back then, i wasn’t expecting us to start being so bitter to one another” said y/n, sadness clearly taking over her features “well if this helps with anything, i was hiding something from you since the moment i’ve met you” robin said making y/n eyebrows raise in confusion “what? really?” y/n said with wide eyes “mmhmm, and if i tell you then you’ll hate me” robin said now standing in front of y/n and placing her long fingers on y/n’s right cheek, the cold metal from robin’s rings sent a slight shock to y/n face “i’ve been in love with you since middle school and seeing you drift away from me made me so heartbroken. seeing you laugh and hang around other people who wasn’t me was so frustrating but i couldn’t say nor do anything because you pushed me out of your life without a single reason” robin said now cupping y/n hot cheek “i’ve been in love with you since middle school too…the only reason i pushed you away was because of that, i fell in love with my bestfriend and i thought if i told you then you’ll hate my guts” y/n said, softly grabbing robin’s wrist “i would never hate something i fell so deeply in love with. steve was right, we were arguing over something that easily could’ve been resolved” robin said with a chuckle “rob..can i kiss you?” asked y/n, now standing face to face with the freckled girl “you always can, no questions asked” robin said while leaning into y/n and catching her lips, the kiss was sweet and sensual, both girls cupping each other’s faces with care and tenderness “so pretty..” robin said in between kisses, the soft and sensitive moment sadly got cut short by the sound of a startling cry coming from the plastic baby.

“forgot we had to be parents…” robin said, pulling away from y/n’s lips, already missing the feeling of them “maybe we should just give my mom the toy, we need a vacation from that thing” y/n replied, hands placed on robin’s waist “sounds like a good idea but no one can handle that without losing their mind” robin replied with a quick peck “you’re right, let’s get this over with so we can go on a relaxing date” y/n said walking towards the crying baby “agreed” robin said with the fake bottle in her hand “we make some hot parents don’t you think?” asked robin with a smirk “agreed” y/n replied leaning into robin with a content smile.

#robin buckley #robin buckley x reader #robin buckley x you #steve harrington x reader platonic #stranger things #stranger things s3 #robin buckley fluff #robin buckley fanfic

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