#if you think that its based off of that one episode of boy meets world its because it is | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jaemmphilia · 11 months

Text

★ 𝘮𝘪𝘹𝘵𝘢𝘱𝘦: 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘴 ★ || han j.s

★ summary: it's your first SKZ CODE episode with the boys as their newest member. jyp decided to add you to stray kids after he saw your audition. he felt that you were the thing that stray kids was missing, and he pushed you to debut immediately. things start out awkwardly, and you feel so left out. but as you eat fried clams with the boys,, they start to very slowly warm up to you. maybe it would have been a good idea to mention you are deathly afraid of pools and various bodies of water.

★ characters: bang chan, lee know, changbin, y/n (he/him pronouns and a masculine frame), hyunjin, han, felix, seungmin, i.n

★ warnings: based off of the most recent skz code episodes where they visit the mud flaps, it's gonna be a little awkward at first, skz ignore y/n (not on purpose, it's just a little new for them), reader is afraid of water and nearly drowns, changbin pushes reader into the water (pls don't hate me for that), he apologizes tho, han and felix being best boys, let me know if i forgot anything

★ word count: 3.8K (3,867)

★ binnie's thoughts: my ride or die gave me the genius idea to write a fic based off the most recent skz episodes, and i just had to deliver

★ disclaimer: this fic in absolutely NO way represents the stray kids members as people. this is just for fun, so don't take it to heart. just enjoy!

You feel the need to throw up your breakfast– and you would be totally okay with it. It would give you an excuse to not show up for filming. This wasn’t really how you expected your idol life to be. You thought you would be put into a group that was on its way to debuting. Not joining a group that already debuted and is at the top of its career.

Stray Kids proved themselves that they are still as successful with eight members rather than the original nine. After the situation with Woojin, Stray Kids went off like a rocket, pushing their way up the charts and blowing the competition out of the park. You admire that about them, and you wish to be part of a successful group just like that.

It seems that you really do get what you wish for.

JYP made sure you were ready to become a member of Stray Kids. You have your own SKZOO character, a cow mixed with a koala named Mookie– and he released some photos of you from a photoshoot. You already have a set position in the group, based on your audition video. You’re the ace, the all-rounder, the one to do it all. You can’t help but feel under pressure with that title. You’re expected to sing, rap, dance, and look exceptionally stunning all at the same time, and the thought of that alone gives you the shakes.

The eight males were really confused when Chan was called into a meeting with JYP himself. They thought their precious leader was in trouble for something. The remaining seven of them paced around their dorm, some of them biting their nails as they waited for Chan to get back. Felix started to tear up thinking they were going to disband. With a little consolation from his favorite hyung, Changbin, he was able to calm down enough to stop his tears.

When Chan returned to them, his expression was unclear to them. Sometimes they can predict what’s wrong just by the way Chan’s face is twisted up, but for the first time in a while, they were stumped.

Chan sat down with his hands propped up under his chin. His eyebrows were furrowed, his lips drawn in a straight line. Then he spoke up.

“JYP is adding someone to the group.”

You could hear a pin drop in the room. No one knew what to say. What could they say? Their entire world was just flipped upside down. They had spent years getting used to being a group of eight, now they have to let a complete stranger into their close-knit family?

Felix was the first to speak up, and everyone turned their attention to him. He gulped before speaking, “Do we know who it is? When are they joining?” the blonde haired male couldn’t stop the shakiness of his voice as he looked at Chan.

“Well, JYP told me that he’s been a trainee for a few years now. JYP said he doesn’t fit into any of his other groups, and he truly believes the guy fits our group the most.” Chan said with a deep sigh falling from his lips as he took a moment to let the news sink in.

“I don’t think this is a good idea. What if he turns out to be like…” A pause. “You-know-who?” Everyone could feel the air being sucked out of the room after Jeongin spoke.

It was something to consider. The entire situation with Woojin was nearly career-ending for them. The alleged actions of just one person nearly ruined everything for them.

“No. JYP wouldn’t do that to us. I won’t allow anyone to hurt us like he did. Not again.” Chan says, looking at each and every one of his brothers. They could tell he was serious, his brows were furrowed and there wasn’t a single hint of amusement on his face.

The boys all shared a group hug, and for a second, the impending anxiety of adding someone to their family was gone.

Of course, it would only last for a short time.

Which brings us to the present. You are riding in a van separate from the other members, on your way to the first filming location. You had filmed a little introduction video before you got onto the bus, and you were told it would play before the actual SKZ CODE video started. You had tried to not appear nervous, your hand gripping your jeans tightly out of the camera's view. You put on a gentle smile as you introduced yourself, hoping to make a good enough impression.

You settle down in the van, holding Mookie in your arms as you buckle in. You hope they’ll accept you, because you have worked your ass off to debut. You may not be debuting how you had hoped to, but at this point you shall settle with whatever is given to you.

You place your headphones on your head, leaning your head on the window as you play songs from the playlist you use when you sleep. You look out the window at the foggy sky and you realize the weather describes your mental state perfectly at this very moment. Dark. Quiet. Foggy and hard to see through. You sigh once again as the van starts moving. Hopefully this goes smoothly.

The Stray Kids boys are talking to each other while the cameras are off, and your name finds its way into the conversation once again. The air shifts awkwardly, the eight of them still in disbelief that a total stranger is being added to their group.

They are looking at your headshots on Hyunjin’s phone, each and every one of them are impressed by your good looks. The expression on your face is intimidating, the lights casting shadows that dance along your smooth skin. They take in every single feature–your soft freckles that litter your cheeks and forehead, the little beauty mark on the tip of your nose, and the other beauty mark on your bottom lip. They can’t deny the fact that you are really attractive, you don’t look like the typical idol.

Felix wonders if you two will bond over the fact that you both have freckles, or the fact that you’re both from different countries. Do you struggle with Korean like he does, or are you fluent like Chan? Do you have a preference for English or Korean? He wonders where you’re from, what was it like growing up for you? He feels a little bit of excitement bubbling in his chest at the idea of meeting someone who is similar to him. JYP told them a bit about you, and they were surprised to find out that you were from The United States.

“He’s really attractive, I can’t deny it,” Lee Know speaks up from his spot, and he earns a series of agreements from everyone else. “And he looks like a sweet guy, I think we’re overthinking this entire situation.”

Chan hums, his expression still unreadable. He’s still on the fence about this, and he knows that he doesn’t really have a say in the situation. He wishes he did, because he would reject you immediately. He truly believes that Stray Kids are just fine as eight, not nine. And your position is the ace? Last time he checked, Han was their ace. They don’t need another one, Han does an amazing job as the ace of Stray Kids. Chan just hopes that Stay will be accepting.

The boys arrive before you do. They excitedly make their way to the mud flaps, each of them joking around with each other as the cameras roll. They laugh as Changbin chases Hyunjin, spouting something about romance. A few of them get closer to the mud flaps, while the others stick behind, watching fondly. They hear the door of a vehicle shut and they all whip their heads to look behind them.

You start walking towards the eight males, Mookie is your clutches as you feel yourself start to sweat. You’re so nervous that you’re sweating while it’s cold outside. Your red-dyed hair is sticking up on one side–from laying your head on the van window–and your gray cardigan is slipping off your wide shoulders. You feel the cameras on you as you walk closer to your new bandmates.

Once you deem yourself close enough for them all to hear you, you bow towards them. “Hello. My name is Lim Y/N, it’s nice to properly meet you all,” you say as you try to keep your voice from sounding so shaky. Your hands are clammy and wet with sweat. “I hope we can all get along, thank you again.” You stand up straight and take in their expressions.

Chan motions for everyone to get in line to do their group introduction. They all bow to you and introduce themselves one by one. You smile softly at them despite the awkwardness that sits heavily in the air.

“So, uhm, should we go eat fried clams, now?” Changbin says, breaking the silence and awkward eye shifting. Chan agrees and they all retreat to their van, leaving you behind.

You try to not let it get to you as you walk to your van. You squeeze Mookie’s plushy body as you take a few deep breaths.

Once you all arrive at the restaurant, you sit at the table with Chan, Felix, Lee Know, and Han. You wait for them to get whatever food they want before you start grabbing some for yourself. When you take that first bite, you light up at how tasty it is.

You’re no stranger to Korean cuisine, you did end up living with your grandma from the age of fourteen to your current age of twenty-three. When you were younger, you had no knowledge of your Korean heritage. Of course you knew your father was Korean and was born in South Korea, but ultimately you knew little to nothing about what it meant to be half-Korean. So, after some long conversations with your mother and father, they convinced you to move in with your grandma in Daejoon, South Korea. You were super excited, bright-eyed and itching for a change. At first it was a little difficult to adjust. You barely knew the language– you only knew a few phrases that helped you get around, but that was it. You are grateful that you have the ability to retain information quickly, and it’s all thanks to your mother. She’s a successful professor at a high-end college where she teaches psychology in Georgia.

“Wah, I’ve never had fried clams before. At least not any like this,” You say a little quietly, not wanting to draw any attention to yourself. Too bad everyone heard you.

Felix pipes up after he finishes chewing his food. “You haven’t? Did you just move to Korea or have you been here for a while?” He asks and you notice how genuine he sounds. Like he’s interested in knowing more about you. It makes your heart beat fast in a good way.

“I was born in Georgia, in the US. But I moved to Daejoon when I turned fourteen, and I’ve been here ever since.” You told him, noticing that the others were also tuning in to what you’re saying. You earn a few hums of acknowledgement as everyone continues eating.

“That’s pretty cool, looks like we have something in common.” Felix says, flashing you his sweet smile that makes you want to smile back. “You probably already know this, but I was born in another country. So was Chan hyung.”

You hum and nod as you chew your food, covering your mouth before you speak. “Yeah, I know quite a bit about you guys. You’re pretty famous all over.” You say with a soft laugh as you shake your head to move your fringe out of your eyes.

Han finds himself staring at you while you talk. He likes the way your voice sounds when you speak, you have this smooth voice that feels like the softest silk on freshly lotioned skin. To Han, you look way better in person than in the pictures. Your skin is littered in light freckles, and the beauty marks on your face are so much more noticeable. He wonders what you sound like when you speak English. Is your voice more high pitched, low pitched, or is it the same? He feels an elbow jab his side and he fights the urge to screech like a crow. Damn Chan and his super parent senses.

The nine of you all finish eating and you’re cracking up at Felix and Jeongin when they go to feed the seagulls. You take videos of Seungmin trying to fight the birds, protecting Felix and Jeongin. You also take a few pictures of yourself near the mud flaps, and Felix ends up taking a few with you. You can tell he will become close to you pretty fast.

You all arrive at the house you’ll be staying at for two days and you’re all amazed by it. You all walk around and then you discover the basement. It’s unlike anything you’ve seen before– a karaoke machine, a nice pool table, and some arcade games. You watch as everyone rushes to play and sing. You don’t really see where you fit in, so you sit down and watch. You watch as they joke around and laugh. You listen to the inside jokes they have between each other. It makes your heart feel heavy knowing that you’ll possibly never be on the same level as them. They’ve been through so many ups and downs as a group, you will never understand what that’s like.

You try to distract yourself with your phone, hoping that will prevent you from spiraling and crying in front of them. That would be pretty embarrassing on your part. You would hate to seem like someone who gets upset when he isn’t included, so you feel that a distraction is the best option.

Felix is playing ping pong with Seungmin, and Seungmin notices that Felix keeps looking back at you. He’s starting to get a little annoyed that Felix isn’t paying attention to their very important game, so he huffs.

“Hyung, pay attention! I’m so close to winning!” Seungmin whines, catching Felix’s attention. Felix apologizes and their game continues. One again, Felix misses the small white ball heading towards his side of the table. Seungmin knows it’s a point for him, but Felix didn’t even try to hit it.

Seungmin lets out an annoyed groan and he looks to see where Felix is so focused on. It’s you. Seungmin takes a good look at you and he notices the look on your face. Longing.

Hyung, invite him to play with you. We can continue our game later, I wanna go check out the rooms.” Seungmin says and Felix whips his head towards him.

“Are you sure, Min? You don’t mind?” Felix asks, feeling bad for getting so distracted that he’s ruining the good time Seungmin is having.

Seungmin nods and sets his paddle down. “Yeah. Just be prepared for me to kick your ass later.” Seungmin makes sure the cameras don’t pick up his vulgar language before he walks upstairs to check out the rooms.

Felix walks over to you, narrowly dodging Lee Know’s elbow that was so close to knocking him upside his head. Lee Know tends to get a little intense when he gets in the groove.

“Hey, Y/N hyung, do you wanna play some ping pong with me? Seungmin ditched me because he was losing so badly.” Felix says with a laugh.

You look up when you hear someone talking to you in English. It honestly caught you off guard. It’s been a while since you’ve spoken English, you hope you still remember how to speak it (you’re a little dramatic, you get it from your dad–).

“You– you want me to play with you?” You try not to sound too shocked, but you deem it to be a little too late for that.

“Yeah, are you a sore loser like Seungmin, or are you a good sport when you lose?” Felix asks and you tut at him with a smirk.

“Who said I was going to lose?” You retort back with your eyebrow cocked at him. Felix just laughs at you.

“I’ll have you know I’m the best ping pong player out of all the guys.” Felix says, his hands on his hips in a victory pose.

You stand up and start walking towards the ping pong table. “We’ll see about that, now won’t we?” you respond and pick up the paddle that Seungmin was once holding. You hunker down a bit, your eyes not leaving Felix’s form for a second. Poor Mookie sits abandoned on the seat near the karaoke machine.

After everyone plays around for a bit, Seungmin comes downstairs whining about how he wants to swim. You freeze at the mentions of swimming, and your eyes shift around nervously. Everyone starts going to change, and you hesitate. Lee Know notices your hesitance, and he tilts his head at you.

“Are you not coming? We’re gonna play some pool games. It’ll be fun.” He says, and you nod before you could stop yourself.

“Yeah! I’m coming, don’t worry, hyung.” You smile at him as you follow behind him upstairs. You bite your fingernails anxiously at the idea of getting in the water. It sucks that one bad experience can completely ruin something for you.

You get changed and you meet the others outside where the pool is. You stare at the deep blue water, your heart racing. You know you shouldn’t be standing so close to the edge, you could easily slip and fall in. You don’t want to drown on camera, much less in front of your groupmates. You feel a pair of hands on your back as they shove you forward, your arms and legs flailing as you fall into the water.

The water isn’t deep, but that doesn’t matter to you. You thrash in the water, trying to get your head above the water. You panic, inhaling a large amount of water. You can’t breathe, your arms and legs are starting to hurt, and you just want out of the damn water. As you keep thrashing, you feel your body being pulled up and out of the water.

Chan heaves you into a pool chair, his hands patting your back to help you spit out the water you inhaled. You cough as water spills from your mouth. Your chest and throat burns. You can feel your entire body shaking with fear. You start wheezing as you hug your knees, wanting the ground to open up and swallow you. You feel so embarrassed, you can’t do anything but cry. You hear someone telling the staff to turn off the cameras, and you feel a warm towel being placed on your tense shoulders.

“Let me take him upstairs to get changed. I think it’s best if he doesn’t play volleyball with us.” Han says, his hand placed on your shoulder as he rubs comforting circles. Chan simply nods and tells the staff to resume filming when Han gets back from helping you get calmed down and dried off.

Felix rushes over with something in his hand. Mookie. You look up at the blonde male, thanking him with your eyes. You take Mookie from him, following Han into the house. He guides you upstairs and sits you on the bed.

“Can I look through your suitcase to get you some clean clothes?” He asks and you simply nod at him, sniffling. You watch as he opens your suitcase, rummaging through it. He pulls some clothes out and he guides you to the bathroom to change.

You get changed and you shuffle out of the bathroom, a sad pout on your face. Han can’t help but think about how adorable you look. You might be older and taller than him, but you just look so soft. He feels his heart pick up pace as he stares. He should probably get back to the others to resume filming, but his feet won’t move.

“Han, you should probably go back..” You say, your voice trailing off as you catch him staring at you. You feel shy under his gaze, no one’s ever looked at you like he’s looking at you right now. His eyes hold all emotions of attraction, the pools of deep brown staring into your own E/C eyes. You feel your ears get warm as you fight the goofy smile trying to make its way onto your face.

“Right– sorry, uh.” He stutters, his neck turning a nice shade of deep red. He shakes his head, his ashy gray hair moving with his head. “Just– just let me know if you need anything, yeah? That must’ve been scary for you.”

You nod, your voice raspy from coughing so much. “Yeah.. I don’t really like pools or large bodies of water, something happened when I was younger.” you explain softly, avoiding his concerned gaze.

��I get it. I’m not the best swimmer, so I kind of see where you’re coming from.” Han says, trying to give some comfort, his hand coming up to rest on your shoulder.

You simply give him a little smile, letting him know that you appreciate his comfort. You place your hand on top of his and you get an idea.

“How about I play referee and scorekeeper for the volleyball game? I’ll keep my distance from the water and I won’t be missing out,” you offer, and Han nods with a smile.

“I think that’s a pretty smart idea, hyung,” he says, but he gives you a stern look. “Are you completely sure, though? Because you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

You hum and nod at him. He nods in response and the two of you walk back to the pool.

Once you get outside, you’re being crushed by a pair of muscular arms. A string of apologies fall from Changbin’s mouth as he squeezes the life out of you. You can’t help but laugh at the shorter male.

“Hyung, I’m okay. You didn’t know that I’m afraid of water. I should apologize to you because I didn’t tell you beforehand.” You say, hoping to make the rapper feel better and less guilty.

Changbin looks up at you, pouting. He lets you go and apologizes one more time. You wave him off and you pull up a pool chair near the middle of the edge of the pool.

“Are you guys ready to play some volleyball?” You ask, earning a round of cheers from the males. You watch as they all hop into the water on their respective sides. You toss the ball into the water and whistle sharply, indicating the beginning of the game. You watch as they play, the cameras filming every second.

You had your doubts about joining this group, but you think this could work out nicely. Let’s just hope it remains that way.

#binnies req #kpop x male reader #stray kids x male reader #kpop x reader #male reader #stray kids x reader #han jisung x reader #han jisung x y/n

345 notes · View notes

marvel-starwarsfangirl · 3 months

Text

BB Season 3 Trailer Breakdown

I am very excited, as you know, for the final season of The Bad Batch. Despite its ups and downs, this show means a lot to me and I adore the characters, particularly Omega and Crosshair. So, without further ado, here we go!

The trailer starts off with the Empire pursuing the boys on a turbo tank as they escape from some sort of facility (I think). Later in the trailer, we see the same tank firing upon the Empire while they head away from wherever they are.

As Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair (he can be seen for a split second) realize that they can't get out of trouble with the tank, Phee drops in to pick them up, commenting "not exactly a stealth exit boys." This makes me wonder if the boys snuck in to get information on Hemlock or Mt. Tantiss. I also believe that this sequence with the tank chase correlates to the episode titled "Juggernaut." It makes sense to use a name meaning something big while the Batch are in a huge tank.

We then see some sort of transport (?) ship headed towards Coruscant. The next shot is of Rex and Hunter talking so maybe they're on the ship. Rex says that ending the war would mean that the clones would no longer be killed in battle. However, we see that's not the case; the clones are still used as soldiers, experiments, or left to die without a thought. The end of the Clone Wars only made things worse for them.

While Rex says this, we briefly see the palace on Teth, burning. I believe this is where we'll see Ventress as that's where we first meet her in Clone Wars. However, this is pure speculation because the only other place I can see her being is Dathomir. Then, we see a downed ship with two figures walking away from the wreckage. Based on the image of Omega desperately piloting a ship later in the trailer, I think she and Crosshair somehow managed to escape. Unfortunately, only Crosshair was able to actually get out. I think we could see this event happening between episodes 5-8.

Rex then says he was wrong about the clones' fate before we get a brief flashback to the railcar incident and Tech falling to his presumed death. Rex continues on, saying "we can't just walk away" whilst images of an imperial occupation flash by. Citizens run away in terror so this could either be Pabu, found at last, or another planet in which the Batch travel to. Rex finishes by saying "not with the Empire imprisoning the kid."

Then, we cut to images from Mt. Tantiss, including post and pre-time skip Omega. Omega walks in and sees a broken Crosshair. Since this looks like the first two are seeing each other, I think these are shots from the first episode "Confined." Hemlock is shown next saying to secure Omega in her cell. There are two Delta Squad commandos behind him. Now, I'm not sure what Omega is holding in the cell, but it looks like she's being scanned. We also see Emerie looking somewhat unhappy. Hunter says that Omega's been waiting for them for a long time and we see her pre-time skip in a cell overlooking the outside world. Perhaps this is a privilege for cooperating? Hunter also says a "long time," so I'm guessing that it's been at least a year since season 2. Hunter concludes with that the Batch's mission isn't over yet.

The next several scenes show a ship being chased (maybe the one Omega is flying?) and what I assume to be a mirrored shot of Hunter and Wrecker because of their facial characteristics being flipped. Then, we see Palpatine with Nala Se and Hemlock saying that their operation is most important to the Empire's future and Hemlock will have everything he needs. My crazy theory? He wants to build an army of force sensitive clones. Will this come true? Idk.

The Empire is seen firing upon a ship (again, the one Omega stole?) and we get a glimpse of a new antagonist, the dark armor-clad figure commanding the TK troopers. While I Initially thought it was Cross because of the helmet design, I feel like that's backpedaling on this character arc so I'm gonna say it's Tech or CX-1, a new clone we see later. If it is CX-1, then it makes sense why we hear him say that the Batch will be hunted down. I'm not sure who this is but I'll be theorizing later. Speaking of that line from CX-1, we see flashes of Fennec, Cad Bane, and Nala Se. While Cad Bane will definitely be after then, I think Fennec will help because she's spotted on the boat when Hunter almost gets eaten by an alligator.

We later see in the trailer, Hunter on Pabu, Wolffe hopefully leading an early clone rebellion, and two clones running towards a big explosion. I'm not sure what's happening, but it could happen during the "Infiltration" and "Extraction" episodes. There's also a clone with a flamethrower so it could be during the same sequence. There's one shot of Echo walking towards... the Batch, Rex... idk. We'll find out together.

Wrecker, in true fashion, asks for a "real challenge" so I think we hear this in the episode "Paths Unknown." It sounds like the Batch are trying to get money or something to pick themselves back up. There are several shots of ships flying; to where, I'm not sure. Hunter and Wrecker are also getting ready to fight. We see the same two clones from earlier in combat and Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair aiming at someone. Hunter says they're not big on following orders. This is proceeded by more shots of Tantiss, TK troopers being attacked by creatures, and troopers being shot at. Hunter tries to hijack a gunship as well. Maybe this happens during "Flash Strike" or the other action heavy episodes. We'll see.

The trailer ends with Asajj Ventress, alive and well, swinging her yellow saber as blaster bolts fly at her. She says that she doesn't plan on killing "you," but "you're" making it very tempting. She might be talking to the Batch. Based on the shot of Hunter and Wrecker, maybe they ask her for information on Tantiss or she is hunting them down. Idk.

Anyways, that's all I have for now. I will be doing some theories on CX-1 and the mysterious imperial as well as what I think might happen based on episode titles and Palpatine's ultimate plan so stay tuned for that!

#star wars #the bad batch #tbb wrecker #tbb crosshair #tbb hunter #tbb tech #tbb echo #tbb omega #captain rex #asajj ventress #royce hemlock #tbb spoilers #tbb speculation #tbb season 3

39 notes · View notes

vampkitty66 · 1 year

Text

2023 Spring Anime Season: My Thoughts Thus Far

Yamada-kun at Lv999

Disclaimer!! These are just my opinions

Status: Currently Ongoing

Starting off we have Yamada-kun at Lv999. I will say after watching the first two episodes I immediately picked up the manga. It currently only has five episodes, and the final episode will be the thirteenth. This follows Akane, a college student who recently got dumped by her boyfriend for a girl he met in a online game they both used to play together. Wanting to make him jealous, she attends an event for the online game knowing that he’ll be there and meets a boy named Yamada. Yamada helps Akane out after she tripped and her ex boyfriend spots them together. Turns out her ex is a big fan of Yamada’s, and in an attempt to make her ex jealous she bribes Yamada to say that they are dating each other. Since I am a shoujo lover myself, I felt super drawn to this series because it feels nostalgic. I think the characters are likeable and despite their age gap ( although I don’t find it a big deal as its only two years apart ) their relationship is healthy. Really enjoying it so far, I think its refreshing to see a romance anime nowadays with little to no fan service. If you haven't, I highly suggest picking up the manga.

Hells Paradise

Status: Currently Ongoing

Completing the “Dark trio” we have Hells Paradise, I preface that I have not read the manga. With only five episodes so far, I've got to say that this might be one of the best watches for me this season. Mappa has really outdone themselves in my opinion, the animation is crazy. The story follows Gabimaru the Hollow who was captured and sentenced to death. With him practically being invincible, Sagiri, his executioner, gave him an opportunity to be pardoned. To be able to be pardoned he and other death row convicts have to find the elixir of life. I think the story is fantastic and the characters are all interesting. I’m really excited to see what comes next as the series continues, and we’ve already seen some development in some of the characters, as well as some of the backstories. Waiting for my girl Sagiri to be an absolute badass and prove everyone who doubts her wrong. Also just got to say that the opening song is fire and its been on repeat for me.

Skip And Loafer

Status: Currently Ongoing

Skip And Loafer, another romance anime with only five episodes so far (its very exciting to have so many wholesome animes come out this year) This one also feels like a very nostalgic shoujo, but its in fact a sienen. This one is based in high school and it follows Mitsumi Iwakura, a girl who lived on the countryside her whole life. Iwakura attends high school in Tokyo and even though she thinks everything will go smoothly, it turns out to be quite the opposite. Watching this made me cringe so hard not even going to lie, its awkward and goofy but that’s also what I like about it. Despite having to throw my phone to the other side of the bed because of the awful secondhand embarrassment I got, I'm definitely going to continue watching it.

Why Raeliana Ended Up At The Dukes Mansion

Status: Currently Ongoing

This was originally a manhwa that got adapted into an anime. I have not read the manhwa so I can’t base anything off of it, but so far I'm enjoying it. It follows Raeliana who was originally Park Eunha who had died in the real world and woke up to be Raeliana. The world that she is in as Raeliana is based off a novel she had read in her previous life, so lucky for her, she knows what's to come. There were a lot of isekai animes this season and to be honest, this is the only one I've watched. This seemed like an interesting concept, I don’t watch or read too many isekai series because a lot of them feel the same and I find some of them boring but maybe I should give it more of a chance? I digress, I like most of the main characters so far and if I were her, I’d totally jump on the duke bandwagon. The animation is a little iffy but I can look past it, overall I don’t have that many complaints about it.

Honorable Mention

Oshi No Ko

Contains spoilers!!

Status: Ongoing

Note: This is an absolute mess of a review oops

Okay so I’ve only watched the first episode so far (I think there's two or three now??) The first episode was like an hour long and it was a lot. We start off meeting the two main characters in the hospital, the little girl and the doctor. We see Ai on tv and to be honest does no one else find it weird that the doctor is like obsessed with a teen idol? Yes I know its because of the little girl, she was his patient and she died blah blah blah. I just find it a little odd... I don't know, it’s fine, moving on. Ai is pregnant and the doctor gets assigned to her, turns out shes having twins and on the night that she is supposed to deliver, the doctor gets pushed and dies. The doctor and his little girl patient gets reincarnated as her twins but they are fully aware of their previous lives. So now a 12 year old girl and a 20 something year old man are Ai’s twins. Also forgot to mention, didn’t the doctor say something sus to the little girl before she died because didn’t she want to marry him??? Honestly I forget, anyways, fast forward the twins, Aqua and Ruby, get older throughout the episode. Ai has been doing her idol shit and what not and Aqua also dabbles into acting a bit. Ruby is dancing or something and all is swell until it all turned to shit. Ai is I think 20 years old now? There's someone who comes to the door and she opens it, he then stabs her and she dies. Oh and she finally tells her kids that she loves them. The episode is almost over at this point, Aqua asks this one guy to raise him or something and Aqua pretty much figures out that his dad hired someone to kill his mom so he’s in his revenge era now. This was a whole mess but its fine. I liked the characters designs a lot, I thought they were really pretty. I have some problems with this anime but I think I might continue to watch it and then do a whole review on it. Still baffled on how people claimed that this was the best first episode they've seen ( even topped aot ) I think it was a good episode don’t get me wrong and I liked the animation style and there were cute moments but I don’t think it was the best first episode I've seen. Ai’s song was fire though, I will say that.

#anime #anime review #anime recommendation #manhwa #2023 anime #spring anime 2023 #yamada kun to lv999 no koi wo suru #hells paradise #skip and loafer #why raeliana ended up at the duke's mansion #oshi no ko #isekai #shoujo #sienen #shounen #the dark trio #romance anime

21 notes · View notes

bloomvalyria · 1 year

Note

What do you think of the ship of Blooom and Sky? 😂😂 Yeah, it sucks for me too but I'm looking for an analysis.

I love that you came to me for this lol.

First off, let’s get one thing out of the way. I will not be looking at this from my personal shipper standpoint, which I’m sure many of you expect me to do. No, I am approaching this objectively simply based on the actions of Bloom and Sky alone throughout the seasons. This is also just my opinion, therefore feel free to ignore it!

Despite what many people may think, I don’t believe BloomxSky to be inherently a bad ship. Deep, deep at its core, it’s a cute friends to lovers trope, I guess. However, it’s drowning in toxicity. I know that’s a very overused word these days thanks to the internet, but I think it’s effective in this conversation.

Now, I’m sure you’re expecting the “he lied to her about his identity!” argument because that seems to be the default. And while it’s valid and is key to their issues, I don’t even have to touch on that to prove the relationship was doomed from the start. I’d like to go back even further to the true foundation. And that’s Sky’s actions in 1x14. While it’s a very forgotten episode, it truly lays the groundwork as to why Bloom and Sky should never have gotten together and is also the reason it gets under my skin that he’s constantly referred to as “Bloom’s Prince Charming.” So let’s take a look at this episode, shall we?

In this episode, we find Bloom once again doubting her powers, and meets with Sky to vent. He then shows up at her dorm that night with his levabike saying “let’s go break into Cloud Tower so you can read more of that book you found about you.” But when they get there, what they don’t know is that the Trix have spelled the book into telling Bloom lies about her past, telling her that she’s not actually a fairy and instead she’s a witch. Sky’s reaction to this “revelation” is the takeaway. This boy literally recoils from her. In fact, he takes several steps back because he’s so horrified that the girl he has a crush on is a witch. Keep in mind, nothing has changed about her personality or who she is as a person. But Sky has the nerve to hang his head like she’s betrayed him because she no longer fits into his perfect image of her, and acting as if she’s been lying to him despite her finding this information out at the exact same time he did (which is ironic considering he’s actually been lying to her the entire time about his identity). And then, to top it off, instead of making sure Bloom gets back to Alfea safe, he lets her walk alone through the forest at night while he flies back to Red Fountain. “Oh well maybe she insisted” I don’t care. She’s clearly in a negative head space, her whole world has been turned upside down, and you’re letting her be alone right now in an environment she’s never navigated before. Take. Her. Home. You. Dick.

That aside, they also tend to draw out each other’s negative qualities. And as you can guess, those tend to play off each other. We quite literally can’t go through a single season without there being Bloom and Sky drama due to how central these issues are to their relationship. And, I don’t want to point fingers or show a bias, but the biggest points of contention in their relationship are Sky’s incessant refusal to go against his parents and his inability to tell Diaspro to get the fuck away from him. Bloom’s major negative contributions to the relationship are her intense jealousy and trust issues, yes. But where do those stem from? Sky giving her reason after reason after reason to reaffirm those feelings. He breaks off his engagement to Diaspro? He goes on a canoe trip with her over the summer. He brings Bloom home to meet his parents? Doesn’t defend her when his mother yells at her for offering a suggestion to help save his ex-fiancée. I could go on, but I’m just getting angrier. So I’m going to stop.

But I also think another point of contention is that Bloom frequently challenges Sky’s behavior. But in the end, she always sacrifices herself to allow him to persist in being a doormat. She’s changed quite a bit throughout the seasons to become a “perfect princess,” however I’d argue that in comparison, Sky has actually regressed. While he did challenge his parents by breaking his engagement to Diaspro, we’ve never seen that kind of backbone from him ever again. We should’ve seen that same behavior when Diaspro was assigned to be his personal guard or whoever she was supposed to be in s5. But alas we did not. He seems pretty content with living under his parents’ control for the rest of his life. And it makes you wonder why.

Personally, I think Bloom deserves better. And I’m not saying that with anyone in particular in mind. She just genuinely deserves someone who’s actually going to respect her and take her feelings into consideration. And Sky …. he just needs to go be with Diaspro since clearly he’s not interested in removing her from his life.

I’ll just leave it at that. It’s taken me 3(?) weeks to finish this, and it feels terribly disjointed, which I deeply apologize for (it’s been a rough couple of weeks). But if anyone would like a deeper view into anything I’ve brought up, I’d be happy to do so because I’m sure there’s more shit my migraine-addled brain can scrounge up about their disaster of a relationship.

#winx club

26 notes · View notes

thepetulantpen · 2 years

Text

(Based on @sprinklersart incredible roleswap au. Here’s the first bit-- the rest, mostly following episode 1, will be up on ao3 when I’m done editing! Should be sometime tomorrow.)

The concept of fate has never convinced Ava until now, when the first stop on her reunion tour of Harlan is to see Raylan Givens.

There he is, leaned against the porch railing and smiling the same smile she remembers from school. The Raylan Givens smirk, with all his outlaw charm and his doesn’t-give-a-shit attitude that she thought she’d gotten sick of. It’s the kind of thing you’re supposed to outgrow—but you never do, not until you’ve wound up making some irreversible mistakes.

Arlo’s house feels frozen in time, just as shitty and rickety as she remembers. She’s sure it’s actually worse- after all these years, and the trouble Arlo’s kicked up, there has to be more bullet holes than paint on its walls- but to her eyes, every spot of chipped paint and splintered wood is the same.

Raylan haunts this home like a specter, soul tied to a gravestone he doesn’t have a use for yet. He’s lost a lot of pieces of himself, over the years of hanging on for something better. A baseball career in as many pieces as Dickie’s shattered knee. Clouds of coal dust and collapsing rock weighing down his lungs, pinning him in place. He’ll always end up right back in Arlo’s front yard, in a box or otherwise.

Doesn’t mean he’s stopped trying. Ava knows, from the light reading she’s done in the office, that he’s not here especially often, disappearing to one of the Crowder’s many cabins whenever he can. Today’s an occasion, meeting the marshal and keeping her out of Arlo’s shit.

“Ava,” he calls, in a voice she no longer knows, “Just as pretty as I remember. What’re you doing, all the way out here?”

She stops at the top of the stairs, at an invisible boundary between the civilized world and whatever Arlo keeps locked up in there. Raylan’s standing just subtly in her way, keeping her from the threshold. It’s not Arlo she’s here for- but it pays to be safe, she supposes.

She shifts, hand drifting to her waist. Not settling on her gun, though with a Givens, that might’ve been recommended. “I imagine the star might’ve given that away.”

“I meant here,” he says, just a touch of annoyance bleeding into his tone, “in Harlan County, on my daddy’s porch.”

“Why, Raylan, I think you know the answer to that, too.”

“It’s not because you were just dying to see me?” That smile again, aimed directly at her like a fucking spotlight. It’s been too long—so sue her, if she finds it charming. She doesn’t flinch, though, and Raylan’s eyes darken ever so slightly, disappointed. “You’re lookin’ for Boyd.”

It says a lot about Raylan’s self-awareness that he knows- of all the criminals he works with, even lives with- she’s here for Boyd. Not in a Crowder’s holler, but the Givens’ doorstep, since it’s the only place she’s guaranteed to find one of them without stepping in a bear trap first.

Harlan’s got the same complications and simplicities it always has. The marshals haven’t been particularly subtle about nosing their way into Boyd’s business— just the amount of subtlety he’s owed, after the stunt with a rocket launcher. And where there is Boyd’s business, there is Raylan’s business, and where there is Raylan’s business, there is a threat to Arlo’s business. Arlo is in the wind, chasing god-knows-what, with god-knows-who— but the Givens home has a guard, as it always must.

“Folks say you two are tied at the hip these days,” Ava says, trying to put it lightly. They may as well have put a billboard up. Not that it’s any news, to the people who grew up with them— one of those awful things you see coming, and can’t stop. Red skies at dawn. A train careening off its tracks. Two boys tangled up in the back of a truck. “Among other things. Not that I’m here to judge.”

“Just to arrest him.”

She inclines her head. Only a nod if you’re a particularly generous observer. “The Marshal Service wants to have a word with him. We were hoping you might help arrange that, you two bein’ so close.”

It’s so far from the realm of possibility, it’s almost embarrassing to suggest— but Ava is the new girl, and she’s stuck with shit like this. Least she can do is make Raylan squirm a bit. Maybe more than a bit; she’s probably owed that, after everything Harlan’s put her through.

“Wish I could help you,” Raylan runs a hand through his hair, jaw working as he considers his next move. He’s holding something back—other than the obvious, “but Boyd’s not interested in hearing from the marshals. Least of all you.”

“Me?” Something about the Crowder clan’s vendetta is funny to her— now that they’re on opposite sides of the law, and still arguing over a divorce. The people of Harlan couldn’t tell you the difference between a feud over a dead man, and a feud over a baseball game. “Why, what could Boyd Crowder have against me?”

Raylan sighs, comically beleaguered— like a tired housewife, covering up for the world’s dumbest mob boss, “Boyd tells me to tell you that he’s giving you 24 hours to get out of Harlan.”

“Is that what he said?” She smiles and tilts her head, innocently, “And what would happen if I didn’t?”

“He didn’t elaborate,” Raylan says, “though I did omit some bullshit remorse for having to hurt a woman. For your sake and mine.”

“Well, I appreciate that, Raylan.” She leans partially around him, looking in the doorway without making any moves forward. “Does Arlo have blocks of cocaine stacked in your living room, or can you invite me in for a drink?”

Raylan shifts, looking off behind her like they’re still in high school, dodging their parents. Like Arlo might be coming up the driveway, shotgun in hand, any minute now. “Suppose that’d be alright. There’s nothing fancy in the fridge, just beer.” He pushes the door open casually, but follows her closely. Doesn’t take chances, not like his old man.

The interior of the house is better than Ava imagined, though it is helped by her having imagined it gutted, an empty front. It’s clear that Helen still lives here occasionally- when she’s not tailing Arlo, or visiting marginally more pleasant relatives- manages to look livable, so long as you’re alright with the cheapest beer available. Raylan hadn’t lied about that, at least.

Ava accepts her drink— it’s not to her taste, and she’s on duty, but she figures she’ll need something if she’s going to spend the day in Harlan, thoughts of Crowders and rocket launchers stuck in her head. She watches Raylan, and his manufactured flippancy as he leans against the counter across from her. “Did you know I’ve had a crush on you since I was twelve years old?”

Raylan raises an eyebrow, not surprised, “Since?”

She hums, crossing the kitchen to stand close to him. A part of her considers throwing caution to the wind and getting her kiss, right here and now. Start taking back everything Harlan never gave her. Another part of herself is still seething at being trapped here, forced to go back on her word. Crowded into another goddamn holler when she’s seen what else the world can offer.

There’s likely room for both of those trains of thought, given the time and opportunity.

“Raylan,” she says, real close to him now— he’s not quite smiling at her, because he’s not as much of a fool as he’d like her to believe, “I need you to understand something. You may be pretty, and you may have something— let’s say special with Boyd, but,” she looks up at him, “I got dragged down here to deal with Boyd, and if I have to do it with a bullet between his eyes, that’s how I’ll do it.”

“See, now I’m getting mixed messages,” he brushes her hair away from her face, implying he is absolutely not confused about what messages he’s supposed to be receiving, “First, you tell me you have a crush on me. Then, you tell me you’re fixing to shoot my closest friend.”

“Closest friend? Is that what we’re calling Boyd?”

Raylan smiles, almost sheepish, and hums. “Sure. Just like we’re calling Winona your best friend. Ex best friend, excuse me.” His eyes are sharper, serious. The sheepishness disappears.

It gives her pause. She doesn’t pull back—that’d be just as good as blood in the water, in this home. Her hand finds his arm, and his hand finds her waist. Slow, like he’s still not sure if she’s going to shoot him. She hasn’t quite made up her mind.

“Least Winona hasn’t blown up any banks.”

“That you know of,” Raylan grins, and it’s empty, doesn’t reach his eyes, “Say, isn’t shooting a man how you got into this trouble in the first place? The old countdown trick seems like something that’s only cute once.”

Not even a blink at his own hypocrisy. Maybe it’s because he’s washed his hands of Boyd’s half-cocked efforts to be an outlaw. Maybe it’s because he knows Boyd won’t put his money where his mouth is.

Maybe he has lost all the brains he used to have.

She tilts her head, but stays otherwise still. The hand on her waist stays where it is. “Are you going to pitch me on why I should let Boyd Crowder go, or were you hoping that sleeping with me would do the trick?”

“Would it?”

She sighs, having been all too sure he’d say that. “No, Raylan, it wouldn’t.”

“In that case, I do have a few things I could tell you. Like, for example,” he leans in, conspiratorial and not nearly serious enough for fraternization that could get him shot, “between the two of us, I’d say you need to worry more about Bowman.”

If they weren’t so close, if Raylan’s hand wasn’t on her, she’d freeze. As it is, she pretends they’re talking about any old criminal—someone she hasn’t shared an altar or a bed with. She’s good at this, at pretending. “That what Boyd told you to tell me?”

“Accusing me of conspiring with alleged criminals, now.” Raylan smirks, “Actually, I think he would be rather displeased to learn I told you that Bowman’s the one pushing the whole ‘get out of Harlan’ shtick.”

Ava leans back, and Raylan lets her go. His expression is perfectly still, calm and cold. None of the warmth she remembers from their school days. They’re having a different conversation now, one he was always planning on having. “And why wouldn’t he want me to know that? Seems to me he’s got the perfect out, with Bowman’s coercion.”

“Boyd wants to be the big, bad criminal that drove a marshal out of Harlan.” Raylan’s mouth twists, in some kind of distaste- hard to tell what for. She’d think it wouldn’t be for Boyd, but with the two of them, it’s not entirely out of the question. “Not some sucker stuck under Bowman’s thumb.”

“And what do you want, Raylan?”

“I just don’t want Boyd to end up shooting, or getting shot by, a federal. That’s the kind of stupid shit our daddies would do.”

It’s the first thing he’s said that Ava’s fully believed, the closest he’ll get to admitting anything near concern. Because Raylan, he’s not like Arlo, he knows when to cut his losses. It’s just a shame he couldn’t have gotten out of Harlan before he landed in bed with one of them.

This is all Harlan is, boys doing the same stupid shit their daddies would be doing if they weren’t in jail or shot or worse. Boyd and Raylan are the same as everyone else, taking after the fathers they hate, except — except their daddies would’ve taken up with some young pretty thing they could control, something they could choke and bleed the life out of. Raylan and Boyd have uniquely decided to be each other’s poison.

“If that’s really what you want,” she says, feels like she has to, even if she knows how this goes, “I suggest you get into a different line of work.”

Raylan laughs, really laughs. It’s only a little more mean than she remembers. “Thanks for the suggestion. I suppose it really would be better to see Boyd choke to death on coal dust, or have his head blown off in a desert.”

She wonders what he’s trying to do here, if he really thinks any of this will make a difference. As if Ava, of all people, could stop Boyd from doing what he wants to do. Especially where Raylan’s already failed. “Prison would kill him slower.”

“You need work on your persuasive arguments.” Raylan pulls away from her completely, turns to the fridge to get another drink. He doesn’t offer her one. “Maybe you should stick to the countdown thing.”

Her phone buzzes in her pocket, some message from the office she’s probably going to ignore. Raylan’s shoulders are hunched, annoyed now that he’s said everything he’s wanted to say and she’s still here. He keeps glancing at the door, waiting for someone, and Ava’s not sure she wants to stick around to find out who.

“Do you have any other sage advice for me?”

“Yeah,” Raylan doesn’t look up at her, feigning preoccupation with the fridge, “Keep an eye on your girl. Bowman’s still driving that shitty red pickup.”

#justified #raylan givens #ava crowder #marshal ava au #little teaser for a longer fic

19 notes · View notes

gremoria411 · 1 year

Text

So I’d been meaning to talk about the Gundam Build Series for a while, since I mentioned a while ago that I’m quite fond of it. I should mention that I haven’t watched either Build Fighters or Build Fighters try in over a year, so I may get some details wrong.

I really like both shows, and I think they’re about the same in terms of overall quality.

I will get one quick elephant out of the room first though. These series exist to sell toys, even moreso than the other Gundam series. This is basically the thesis statement of the entire series, and this is the main reason why they’re so very different than the “regular” Gundam series. It’s…… not too bad? Since they’re generally preaching to the choir when it comes to the actual model kits, and the designs for the show are essentially a showcase of some really cool custom models based on existing ones. Like, yes, thesis was to sell cool robots, but you can’t really accuse them of skimping on the cool robots.

At its core, it’s a story about “to be the greatest there ever was, wholly distinct from those before you” with a good sprinkling of personal growth.

The very general plot of the original Build Fighters is: Sei Iori (left, blue) is a bookish nerd whose parents run the local model shop, Sei dreams of entering the Gunpla Battle World Championships (essentially where Gundam models are animated by special particles so they can duke it out amongst each other; think fighting game tournaments but with physical objects) but though he’s really good at building them, he’s absolutely terrible at fighting with them. However, he meets Reiji (right, red sunglasses), a mysterious boy who’s really, really good at fighting with the Gunpla Sei builds, and together they form a two-man team to take on the other competitors.

It’s a pretty solid premise, and it works well. There’s a revolving cast of characters (Sei and Reiji make many rivals, who are pretty well-rounded) and the stakes start low, but get steadily higher as time goes on, giving the series a natural progression and allowing them to introduce darker elements as it goes on. Gunpla battles provides a nice, solid core for the ancillary elements to move around (though the show is still very much about the Gunpla battles).

So how are those Gunpla Fights?

They’re pretty damn good. Honestly, I’ve watched a little over half the shows they’ve made for Gundam, and I still count several of the fights in Gundam Build Fighters as my all time favourites. I’ll admit I usually like a little bit of philosophising with my giant robot fights, but you can definitely see the influence of this series on later ones, simply through the fight scenes.

Character wise? Yeah, solid. The show does wring a lot out of the “rival” template (The Main Rival, Mentor Rival, “Cool” Rival, The one who starts off goofy but is actually just as determined as the leads, etc), but there’s other side characters with their own goals. Build fighters does create a very believable world around its premise, since the rest of the world is pretty contemporary, it’s played almost like a sporting thing - fans and other people in the know can look at it and get passionate about it, but the works isn’t exclusively built around it. Due to this, a lot of the characters - even the bit ones, can feel very fleshed out. Gunpla Battle is a thing they do, it’s not there entire personality. To expand on that a little, I’m going to swing back around to the protagonists. Sei is a Gundam nerd, yes, but as above he has other aspects to him. He has friends and relationships through Gunpla Battle but they rely on who he is, not just on him being a nerd. Reiji is sorta the “cool idiot” he doesn’t really have an arc in the story, fundamentally because he’s the catalyst for Sei’s, triggering his growth as a person. Reiji just wanders about triggering other people’s character growth (other than the episode when the duo split up, but that doesn’t really change Reiji as an individual, it’s more about Sei) and seeing how other characters interact with him. It goes in well with the conclusion of the series (which I shan’t spoil) because it basically ties all that up really rather well.

The mobile suit designs are honestly pretty good across the board with this one. It’s smaller than on average, both due to the smaller series (25 episodes) and the fact that other series mobile suits get used as grunts.

Gundam Fighters Try is the sequel series, set several years later, with a different cast. I’ll probably do a separate post on it some other time, but pretty much all the points I made above that aren’t related to the protagonists also apply to it.

In a nutshell: Gundam Build Fighters: To sells toys, but the fight scenes are amazing and the characters are pretty solid.

#gundam #gundam build series #Gundam build fighters #ramblings

0 notes

kashimos-hajime · 3 years

Text

definition of a good boy | a.a.

summary: literally you just peg the FUCK out of armin arlert. that’s it. and he looks real fucking pretty taking it.

WARNINGS: smut (18+), switch!reader (but majority femdom), switch!armin (majority sub <3), PEGGING, edging, anal fingering ahgnfkld, safe word (not used), oral (fem-receiving), overstim, praise kink, minor dacryphilia bc that shit HITS pairing: armin arlert x fem!reader word count: 3.7k

a/n: if armin no like peg, why he look like THAT last episode? ANYWAY this is who i represent now. just,,, pegging men and making them cry

crossposted on ao3

You wonder how many times Armin’s thought about this before. Or even, the first time at least.

Was it when you rode him until he was crying for relief, your hands around his throat and your lips ravaging his own? Or maybe that time you had riled him up until he had you pinned in an alleyway just outside a fucking embassy, panties swept aside by the crook of his fingers and cock sheathed inside your wet folds as you cried out into his shoulder.

Which in itself was a feat. It’s probably the most difficult thing in the world to irritate Armin Arlert to the point where he wants to fuck the attitude out of you, and it had started with a dress that had a slit up to your thigh, and you tugging at his tie in the middle of his conversations, and ended with bruised collarbones, jelly legs, and fucking Connie texting you, WOW GOOD JOB!!!!! SASHA OWES ME TWENTY.

But you digress. You could probably pinpoint a million times he’s thought about it, a million times more when you have. It doesn’t matter now. What matters is that Armin Arlert is laid out right in front of you, flushed, sweating, eyes closed shut and mouth shamelessly open as you jack him off. His cheeks are red, the blush spreading down his neck and chest, but nothing compares to the shade of his lips as you swallow down his moan, tongue dipping into his mouth. Your other hand pins down his shoulder as he lets out a soft whine, and you smile, drawing back just as quickly as you came.

“You look so pretty, baby,” you whisper, brushing the hair fanning across his forehead back. The golden strands glimmer in the warm light of their room as Armin lets out another strangled noise when you squeeze the tip of his cock, the precum warm underneath your palm. “You think you’re ready?”

“Yeah.” His hands are on your back, fingers scratching the skin and sending shivers down your spine, yet now, one travels to the back of your neck and pulls you down for another deep kiss. Their mouths meet messily and his other hand trails down to your hips, your thighs by his waist, and squeezes. “I’m ready. I trust you.”

Pulling back, your gut clenches and you wish you’d taken up his offer to ride the edge off on his thigh, but you’d been so excited that you had refused. Now, nervous energy mixes with the heady arousal surrounding them you pull off of him, fingers giving one last pump to his hard cock. Sitting aside with the lube, you watch as Armin rolls over, revealing a muscled back ripe with tension and you immediately crawl over to him.

“Tense?”

“Nervous, yeah.” His fingers dig into the bedsheets as you place a gentle kiss on the back of his neck. His blond hair tickles the apple of your cheek and you situate yourself right over him. Squeezing a sizeable amount of lube onto your pointer and third finger, you smear it down to your base knuckles and glance at Armin again. His cheek is pressed against the mattress, his sedated face betraying the hunger in those blue eyes. His hips twitch against the blankets almost imperceptibly but you let it slide—they both need a moment to just…

“Safe word?” you ask.

“Conch,” he replies dutifully. “Don’t worry so much or I’ll start to worry.”

“I just don’t want to hurt you or for you to hate this.”

“The most important thing is that we tried it, alright?” He reaches back to grab your hand, and you look down at his fingers wrapping around your wrist. Twisting to hold onto him, you kiss his fingers before he lets go, resumes the slow grind against the mattress and you watch, transfixed at the rolls of his hips. Reminded of the slick glistening down your thighs, you clench your legs together as a soft moan is muffled by Armin’s face buried in the sheets. His knuckles are white as his thrusts grow frantic, but they both know that nothing on this bed is enough friction for what they both want.

Too many nights with disappointing outcomes have taught them better—silk is good for hair and skin only, it seems.

“On your knees,” you murmur, and he freezes, face turning slowly to reveal blissed out face and a panting mouth. Stomach fluttering at how obedient he is, you situate yourself right behind him as he rises to his knees and elbows and you spot the wet stain where his precum had soaked into the sheets. Smiling, you rise up on your knees, lean over, and kiss his spine, settling a hand on the small of his back. “Relax, baby.”

Your fingers slip between his cheeks and rub along the hole, the heat emanating from his skin incinerating. Gently, you sink your fingers in and he lets out a choked noise at the stretching as you scissor slowly to give him time to get used to the burning. His fingers sink into the mattress, claw-like, and his back tenses up but you lean forward, running a soothing hand between his shoulder blades.

“Are you okay, baby?” you whisper, the resistance making you pause so he can get used to it. He lifts his head, gasping before nodding to the wall.

“I’m okay.” Forehead to the sheets again. “Keep going.”

Kissing his hip, you nod and push forward as your hand on his back spreads out, and you feel the moment he relaxes because something inside him eases, too. Your fingers sink in despite how tight it is, near-choking as his legs twitch against your thighs. You watch the back of his head keenly, catch the speedy rise and fall of his shoulders as you slowly draw your fingers in and out, getting him used to the sensation.

Tiny sounds escape his mouth as he rests his cheek against the bed, his sharp gasps whenever you push in deeper than before music to your ears and to the growing drip of arousal between your legs.

It’s when Armin’s legs shoot out from underneath him, his whole body collapsing and a loud moan comes out of him that you really snap awake. Your hand ripped out from between his asscheeks, you jump back, eyes widening in fear and you crawl up so you can spot his face. His eyes are wide enough that you can see a ring of white around his blue, blue eyes, and he’s coated in a fine layer of sweat over his pink cheeks. A hand is slapped over his mouth and you hear his raspy pants through his nose, desperate and rapid as you lower yourself to his eye level.

“What happened? Are you hurt?” you ask but he lifts a wet hand from his mouth, and you watch slowly as he grabs your wrist tightly. Lube from your fingers drips onto your hand as he yanks you close.

“Why’d you stop?” he groans. “If that’s how it feels every time I hit your g-spot, I wish we started this sooner.”

Electricity zaps through your chest and your lips pull into an incredulous smile as he lets go of your wrist and cups your neck, pulling you down into an open-mouthed kiss and you moan into his mouth as he pushes himself up onto an arm, tongue exploring your cheeks, his hand sliding down your back. It’s decidedly slow, unpretentious, intimate, and you remind yourself that there’s still a task at hand, no matter how persuading Armin can be with his eyes, hands, tongue, or otherwise.

Parting, your heart pounds like a damned drum as he squeezes your ass but you pluck his hand off of you, pushing him back down onto all fours.

“Elbows and knees, Arlert. I’m not finished with you yet,” you murmur and you see the shiver in his body at the idea. He does as he’s told, lowering himself until his face is against the mattress and his ass is up in the air, and you migrate to his end again, through the molasses air until you’re where you were before.

A hand on the small of his back, you ease your fingers in again, and this time, when he lets out a sharp whine, you know not to give up but to give in, push against the spongey flesh at your fingers that sends his hips jolting back into your palm. Peering at a pretty blond head, you frown when you see his palm has found its place over his mouth again and without thinking, your hand on his back trails to his ass, giving it a light slap before squeezing the flesh.

“Let me hear you, pretty boy,” you croon as his back arches with a choked ah! that fills your stomach with butterflies. Pushing down on his spine, with every whine, moan, desperate more, every pleading deeper, baby, you reward him with another thrust of your fingers that makes Armin writhe with pleasure you can feel everywhere in his body. Heat licking at your own face, you get so lost in the rocking of his hips, the sheets twisting under Armin’s fists as he tries to chase his own high, that you nearly miss the signs of his coming orgasm.

Classic: he starts swearing like a sailor.

“Fuck—hngh!—C’mon, baby. Come on. I’m so close.”

And the panting that’s so noticeably heavy and fast that it’s a wonder he can even breathe with how much he’s begging and squirming by the pressure of your fingers alone.

Those two things echo in your head as you pull your fingers out just as he stands on the brink of his eyes rolling back from the black-out euphoria he must’ve been on the edge on because when you stop, he lets out the loudest fucking curse you’ve ever heard in your life.

No, fuck! Baby!” His whines are music to your ear as he buries his face in the silk. “Baby, I was so fucking close! You, you—“

“I? I?” you tease, a thrill igniting underneath your heart at how he sweats and arches underneath your hand. “You’re just so pretty for me all needy, Armin. Not every night I get to edge you.”

“It could be,” he pleads, his hips lowering to the mattress again as he reaches forward for a pillow to shove between his legs but you smack the hand away as you stretch for the nightstand. “Baby, just let me cum. Let me cum and I’ll let you edge me every night. Please, please, please—“

“Armin,” you censure, although the words are enticing and you know if you brought it up to him outside the bedroom tomorrow morning, he’d blush and have to accept his own vow. But you’re not that cruel. “When have you ever given in to my pleading?”

Maybe you’re worse. You don’t mind that at all.

“Sometimes, I do. When you’ve been a good girl.” His hips begin to rub against the silk sheets as you grab the strap-on and buckle it up comfortably around your hips. Armin’s oblivious to it all and you let him have his moment of faux relief, pretending you don’t notice. He’s going to need the breather after you’re done with him. “And I’ve been good. I swear it.”

“Really?” Grabbing the lube bottle that’s been lost in the sheets, you squirt a hefty amount all over the silicone and run your hand up and down the shaft, warming it up. “I don’t think trying to fuck yourself on silk sheets like you’re a prince without a whore is going to help you much now is it, hm?”

His hips freeze and you chuckle to yourself, the power trip making you dizzy as you hum appreciatively and lean over him, the tip of the strap leaving a wet trail from between his cheeks down his spine. Your lips find the knob of his spine, mouthing at it warmly as his entire body goes taut and you reach blond hair, nosing it away and sucking a mark onto his neck. He lets out a soft moan, lifting his head and reaching up a hand to wrap around the back of your neck.

Bracing yourself, you smile and find the sensitive spot right underneath his jaw, biting gently.

“Armin,” you whisper huskily against the shell of his ear, nose drawing along his temple. “What’s that again about being a good boy?” You return your mouth to the juncture of his neck and shoulder, grinning wickedly when his back arches and he lets out a helpless whine. Inhaling the smell of clean soap, you crane your head to look down between your bodies. He’s laid out bare in front of you, and you wiggle your hips, nestling the strap back between his ass cheeks, just to get him used to the sensation.

Tearing yourself away and back up, you cup his thighs and pull him back up to his knees.

“Anyway,” you continue, as if remarking on the weather, “I don’t know if you do deserve this anymore. Seeing as if every time I stopped touching you, you’ve gone to rutting the bed like I wouldn’t notice.” The tip presses against his hole and you feel his shiver. You tilt your head. “Nothing to say now, huh.”

“No, no, please. Fuck! I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I won’t do it again. I promise. I really promise, baby.”

“Right.” You don’t believe him, but nonetheless, you smile. “Why don’t you prove it and relax?” A soft noise keening from his mouth, he nods and lowers himself deeper. Counting silently to yourself, you wait until he gets comfortable.

When he does, you set a hand on his hip, another on his back, and slowly push in.

“Ah!” His head snaps up, knuckles blanching as he grasps the sheets. Breathing quickening, he stiffens but you hush him quietly, stroking soothing shapes into his skin. You slowly ease out again and he exhales. A heat sears through your chest and the urge to slip your fingers in, to push against the spongey part again until he’s begging, not for you to stop or for you to continue, but just crying begging for you, causes you to groan to yourself.

“You don’t know how pretty you look all like this, Armin,” you murmur as he shifts back and you laugh gently. “You really want this, hm?” You push back in gently, and it goes easier this time. Your hips nearly press flush against his skin as he lets out a choked noise. “Lemme hear you, yeah? God, I wanna hear you so bad, baby.”

“Hngh! Ah—“ You draw back only to sink back in again, bottoming out and you know you hit it when his elbows slide out from under him, cheek against the bed. You pause, tip pressing against the prostate until he’s blabbering, voice going raw with desperation. “Baby! Baby, baby, baby, oh God—“

Guts tightening, you bite your lip, trying to hold back your own moan as he tries to jerk back.

“You want me to move, baby?”

“Yes! Yes, please. Please, please, please.” His hand claws at his face, caging his mouth but doing nothing to muffle any of his noise as you push harder. His eyes roll back and you smirk, pulling back. “Baby!”

“Alright, alright. Since you asked so nicely.” And you sink into him, faster this time, hitting your mark so easily that when his moans arise, it’s only incentive for you to continue thrusting, your movements sloppy but quick. Hips against his ass, your fingers dig into his hips as he begins to rock back against you, settling into an unsteady rhythm only they can begin to understand.

You watch in delicious satisfaction as Armin falls apart, raising his ass higher, sinking deeper into his chest. A soft whine rises with every movement as he gasps out, “Harder,” and you nearly fucking lose yourself in the high-pitched rasp in his voice. His voice begins to thicken when you listen, and you catch sight of his cheek, glistening with tears.

“You close, baby?” you pant at the sight. Fuck, he’s so fucking pretty; it’s otherwordly. Your hips beginning to tire, the smack and slide of their skin the only other thing you can feel besides how hard and tight he is as he nods, red lip trapped between teeth. “Yeah? You’re doing so well, you know? God, I’m so proud of you.” He lets out a whiny mhm! A harsh throbbing between your legs, you squeeze his hips. “C’mon, baby. C’mon. You’re so pretty. Pretty boy crying for me.”

“God, I love you,” he cries out, body beginning to shake as his breath hitches in his throat sharply like a ragged gasp after nearly drowning. “I love you so much. Please, let me cum. I wanna be good. Lemme be good for you.”

Lurching forward, you plunge as deep as you can into him and he lets out a hoarse wail as you sink your teeth into his side, at his ribs. Your arms wrap around his waist, holding him flush against yourself and he shudders, head raised as he claws at the sheets, riding off his own orgasm on your strap, shamelessly, with reckless abandon and you press your face into his shoulder blade, rocking with his moves.

Soft, airy moans fill the silence as he stubbornly tries to keep going as he falls back on his knees, in some yoga pose you can’t remember the name of, and you draw yourself back up, shallowly rolling your hips against his until he’s crying into his arm, ears red, cheeks red, everything red and warm and slick.

Sighing, you finally pull out and he lets out a whimper at the loss. Sitting back on your ankles, you begin to unbuckle the strap, climbing over his shaking leg to grab the towel on their nightstand. Wiping off the lube and juices from the silicone, you glance over your shoulder at your dazed boyfriend, and a soft smile pulls at your mouth as he tries to catch his breath. Back rising and falling, he wipes at his face and you chuckle, abandoning your cleaning efforts to crawl over to his face. Leaning down to kiss his cheek, you hum.

“Pretty baby,” you murmur as his blue eyes rake over your face, down your body covered in a fine layer of sweat. You lay down beside him, mirroring his position so you’re on your stomach, chest resting on your forearm. Your other hand lifts, fingers brushing through hair that falls over his eyes lazily. His irises are still blown out with lust, the residual pleasure still occupying his face in how lax his face is, how he barely keeps his eyes open. “You okay?”

“More than okay.” His voice is nothing more than a mumble as he turns to plug his eyes with his forearm and you laugh, scooting closer to kiss his ear. “I dunno if I can walk tomorrow, though.”

“I did go a bit hard on you, didn’t I?”

“’S okay. I asked for it.” He lifts his head with a cold breath, and he looks at you again. “I wanted it. So badly. You did so good, baby.”

“A-Armin—“ His name is swallowed up by his lips and you let out a noise of surprise as he cups the back of your neck. Pushing you onto your back, he deepens the kiss and their legs tangle up as his other hand runs down your side. A soft moan spills out of your mouth into his as he trails inward, exploring the slick pooling down your legs. Without a second to waste, he sinks a finger in easily to the first knuckle, curling sinfully and your legs spasm against his.

“Maybe you liked it more than me,” he hums, lifting his mouth from yours. Before you can refute that claim, he’s travelling down your body, free hand adoring every single curve and line. You let out a small protest as he slips his finger out but it’s almost instantly replaced by his mouth suctioning onto your cunt. Heat splinters through your body and your legs wrap around his head immediately.

“Fuck, Armin,” you sigh, hands buried under the pillow above your head as he laps at your slit and when you raise your head to see him peering back, you groan at the sheen covering his chin and lips. His eyes are still blown out, darkened with lust, and he dips his mouth again as the coil inside you tightens and just seeing him beneath you again has your eyes rolling back. His hand squeezes your thigh as your breath hitches and you feel it coming, harsh, white, and hot.

Chest blistering tight, your eyes flutter shut and your fingers scrape at silk as your hips rut against his face. You’re so fucking close—fuck, fuck, fuck—

“Armin!” You let out a hoarse scream as he slams a hand over your mouth and your back arches as his other hand presses your hips down. Eyes rolling back, your hands wrap around his wrist as he sucks on your clit, massages you through the crashing waves that run through your body. Legs trembling, you try to move away but he only huffs a laugh, kissing your slit before licking a stripe up. The overstimulation makes you whine, shaking as he continues to tease you out, drinking you, eating you as if you’re his last meal on death row.

His name spills out of your mouth in shameless babbles, praises about how good he is for you coming out raw as you try to catch your breath but he won’t let you. Not even for a second.

Armin only breathes you in—hums against your soaked thighs, biting gently on the flesh, and your hands fly to your face, one over your mouth, another over your eyes as a helpless, incoherent plea spills out of you. You feel the smirk in his cheeks as he pushes himself closer and your hips nearly lift but he pulls you back down to the bed, chuckling.

“Am I good boy now?” he asks huskily against your cunt. Shivers shoot up your spine and he inhales deeply, squeezing your thighs like he’s never seen something so fuckable. “Or do I need to prove it to you again?”

3K notes · View notes

quicksilverownsmysoul · 3 years

Text

A Few Too Many

MARE OF EASTTOWN SPOILERS

This is based off the 3rd episode of Mare of Easttown, it’s based off the scene where he’s with Mare but I changed it up a bit! The reader and Colin are friends and he ends up confiding in her after a few too many drinks! I hope y’all like it! My poor baby my heart broke for him while watching it and rewriting it 😭 I wrote this immediately after watching this weeks episode so it may be a little messy

Warning: Angst, little fluff at the end

Heyyyyyy pretty lady.” Colin slurred, sliding over to you, nearly missing the bar stool as he stumbled to sit down.

You let out a little snort, drunk Colin seemed to be a lot more confident than sober Colin. “Hey pretty boy, what are you doing here?” He gave you a lopsided smile at your indirect compliment.

“Nothing.” He laughed out. “Just having some drinks.” He lifted his hand up, “Hey bar guy!” The bartender shot him a dirty looked and walked over to you two. You hid your laughter behind your hand as you watched Colin apologize to the guy. “Sorry I uh won’t do that again. Uhhhh can I get a couple more shots and one more for m’lady.” He said pointing at you as his eyebrows wiggled. You giggled at this new persona he had taken on.

He downed a shot and didn’t even shudder at the taste. “Ya know my reunion was today.”

“Was it?” You asked taking a sip from your own bottle.

“Yeah.” He giggled out.

“Did you have fun?”

“Yeah. I did.” He gave you a smile, you watched as he laughed it off, the corners of his mouth dipping downward. “Actually ya know what I didn’t.” His eyes never left yours, the joy that was in his voice was slowly disappearing by the second. “You know my ex was there.” He let out a dry laugh, “Almost my ex wife. She called it off two weeks before the wedding.” His eyes glossed over, he blinked a couple times before letting out a laugh. “But what are you gonna do.” He picked up his beer and chugged it.

Your eyes widened at his confession. You never even knew Colin was dating anyone before he came to Easttown, much less engaged. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He watched your reaction and in seeing your eyes look at him with worry he quickly changed the subject. “Are those peanuts any good?” He tipped his drink towards the basket of them that was placed in front of you. He reached out and popped some into his mouth before drowning them with another swing. He lifted up his empty bottle and clinked it against yours. “Cheers to peanuts.” You reached your hand out towards him and gently rested it on his own.

He looked down and your hand before pressing on with his story. “Yeah. Uhhhh yeah it all happened so fast. And I don’t even know how it happened.” He chuckled darkly, his eyes not meeting your own. He stared down at his hands, moving the bottle back and forth. “I woke up one day and she went nope! Not in love with you anymore!” He let out a loud laugh at this, giggling to himself, people glanced over at his shaking figure. “Just ya know let me put my bagel down.” He imitated holding his morning bagel, as if setting the scene for you. Ya know what I mean.” He sniffled. “I don’t know.” He pulled his hand back from under yours, running it down his face. “I’m getting to that age where, like like where I’m starting to look at my life.” He stumbled all over his words, doing his best to form sentences in between giggling. “Like I look at it and it’s like what I thought it would be like annnnd-“ He struggled to find the words his smile fading and in its place a solemn look took over. “And here’s what it actually is.”

You gave him a sympathetic smile. He ran his hands up and down his arms, trying to calm himself down. He let out another laugh, his face crinkling up to the point where you couldn’t even see his eyes. “Am I making any fucking sense?”

You looked down at your own drink, which like Colin’s served a purpose. “Yeah you are, I mean I always thought I’d be something more than I am ya know.” You turned yourself to face him. “I always thought I was going to do big things, to be someone ya know. And instead of I’m just floating through life.” He nodded along to your confession. You glanced over at him, it seemed this thing with his ex was bugging him much more than he was letting on.

“Colin.”

“Hmm?” He lifted his head to look at you.

“You know if you ever need someone to talk to I’m always gonna be here.” You reached your hand for his again, he flinched slightly at the action. You ran your thumb gently along the veins on his hand, he relaxed under your touch. “You know that right? You don’t have to keep it all in.” He watched you with watery eyes opening his mouth to say something. But before he could a loud yell interrupted him.

“COLINNN!!! SHOTSSSS!!!” You looked up to see two men on the other side of the room calling for him, their voices slurring together. You turned back to Colin just in time to see him quickly wiping the tears from his eyes. He sniffled and put a smile back on.

“Fuck yeah!” He called out and slid off the stool to join them. You caught his hand as he was leaving.

“Hey, are you sure you’re okay?” His eyes were still watery and his nose was red and sniffly, but he had a forced smile on his face. As if on cue he was switching back to his original drunk state of flirty and fun.

“Oh course I am m’lady.” He pulled you closer and you nearly fell off the stool. “Unless you don’t want me to go cause you want me here with you.” He leaned in closer, his breath fanning out, reaking of alcohol. You pushed him back gently by his chest.

“I think you should go home Colin. I can take you.”

“Nah.” He said with a big gesture. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me pretty girl.” He stumbled towards you and gave you a sloppy kiss on the lips, he pulled off with a loud pucker. He was already going to join his friends on the other side of the bar before you even realized what had happened.

You glanced down at your own drink, you hadn’t even taken more than two sips of it. But now you found it completely unappetizing, you slid it away and payed your tab. You didn’t want to leave Colin there but it was getting late. You pulled your coat closer to yourself as you stepped out into the cold night. You had driven there and you could probably drive back, you hadn’t drunken that much but you thought aganist it.

You made your way along the pathway, stopping at the all night bakery of a late night snack. You waited in the line for a while before finally paying and taking your desserts with a grateful smile. As you made your way out of the shop there was a man stumbling on the other side of the street. You squinted your eyes and when he passed under the streetlight you realized it was Colin. You called out for him but he couldn’t seem to hear you. You looked both way before sprinting across the street towards him. He saw your approaching figure and held his arms out towards you a big smile on his face. “Heeeeeyyyy (y/n).” He pulled you into a big hug, crushing your desserts in between your bodies. He breathed in the scent of your hair, before finally realizing you. “What are you doing here?”

You ignored his question and asked one of your own. “Colin are you okay?”

He smiled wide at you, his eyes red and tired. “Of course. I’m um I’m heheh I’m great I’m umm-“ He broke out laughing at his own attempt to form a sentence. He was doubled over now, choking on his own laughs. You watched as his laughter turned into tears, loud sobs, shaking his whole body. He clung to the sleeve of your jacket and yanked you closer you, he began to slump down kneeing on the floor in front of you his arms wrapped tightly around your waist as he cried into your coat. You kneeled down next to him and wrapped your arms tightly around him, forcing down your own tears that were forming at watching him break. “Why-y” he hiccuped out, his voice still muffled by your coat. “Why did she leave me.” He cried out. “She just came up to me and told me that she didn’t love me anymore.” He sniffled and roughly began to wipe the tears from his face with the palms of his hands. He pulled back to look at you. “How can someone just do that? How can someone you love so much just decide one day they don’t love you back?”

“I don’t know.” You rubbed circles into his back. “I don’t know honey, but I do know that she didn’t deserve you. She doesn’t deserve someone who cares so much that he’ll do anything for her, that he loves her so much even the mention of her breaks him. She must have been truly heartless. Because how could someone fall out of love with the most perfect man in the world.” He lifted his head up to look at you. You felt you face turn red and averted your gaze continuing on. “You are the sweetest most kindest man I’ve ever known. You care so much about everyone around you, and make everyone you come into contact with happy. You have this way of making us all laugh without even knowing it. And you don’t need her because you have so many other people in this town that love you.”

He let out a dry laugh. “Oh yeah, like who? ”

“Well like me-“ Your eyes widened at what you had said, you cursed yourself at letting that slip. You pressed on hoping he didn’t hear you. “Like Mare and-“

“Wait.” He looked up at you with soft eyes. “Did you say you love me?” You looked over at him, taking in his drunken state and his disheveled appearance. He was very drunk chances were he wasn’t going to remember this in the morning. You smiled softly at him.

“Yeah, I love you pretty boy.” He just leaned his head onto your shoulder, snuggling himself even closer.

“Please tell me again that you love me.”

You brushed his hair back from his face. “I love you. I love you. I love you-“ As you whispered it to him you knew he was never going to remember any of this is the morning. You knew that after you walked him home and put him to bed this would all become a drunken blur. Nothing more than then a dream he could never remember. But that didn’t matter to you right now, you didn’t care if he loved you back at this moment, you just needed him to know he was loved. And that he was worthy of it.

Tags: @xmaximoffic

262 notes · View notes

nugnthopkns · 3 years

Text

if everything could ever feel this real forever

word count: 4.3k

warnings: explicit!fem reader, cursing, alcohol consumption, allusion to sexual content (nothing explicit but minors please be aware!)

recommended listening: everlong | foo fighters

a/n: broke down and wrote for ratty matty. alternalty titled four times matthew thinks you’re the one and one time he knows (4+1′s are fun to write, pls don’t fight me). also pls ignore the fact i don’t know how airports work, i’ve only ever flown domestically lmao

Matthew feels different when you’re around.

You don’t turn him into a completely different person. He’s still himself – an absolute pest at times – but more genuine. With you he can feel everything deeply, say whatever’s on his mind without the fear of being judged. It’s the best kind of different, and he wouldn’t change it for the world. His teammates constantly ask him when he’s going to lock you down; put a ring on your finger and change your last name, but he needs to be sure before he makes such a big commitment.

one

It’s the beginning of July, and you’re sweating buckets in the back of an Uber. The driver has the air cranked, but nothing seems to alleviate the heat. You know it will be worse in St. Louis so you do your best not to complain, but it’s hard. Taking two weeks off to visit your boyfriend in his hometown sounded like a great idea, but reading the weather forecast has you re-evaluating the trip.

Your phone lights up in your lap, and you eagerly unlock it. It’s a text from Matthew. Have a safe flight. Text me when you land. Tayrn will be there to pick you up – Brady and I’s on-ice got extended. I’ll see you when I get home. Love you.

Though you wish he could be the first person you see when you touch down, you understand that his job comes first. Besides, your re-unification will be more private this way. I get to see the best Tkachuk first, fuck yeah you reply, before following it up with Love you too Matty. See you soon.

Soon after sending the text you arrive at the entrance of Calgary International Airport. With a polite thank you to your driver, you grab your suitcase and head inside. The working air conditioning answers your silent prayers and you feel your body slowly return to a normal temperature. Check in is fast, and before you know it you’re breezing through security. A slightly nervous traveller, you’re at the gate earlier than you need to be. The plane doesn’t take off for another two hours. You don’t mind the wait, listening to a couple of podcast episodes and grabbing a snack at the lounge before boarding.

The five hour flight passes in the blink of an eye. St. Louis is busier than Calgary, and it takes you longer than you thought it would to get through customs. Once passed immigration and at the baggage carousel you let Matthew know you’re safely inside the city limits. You grab your obnoxious suitcase – a bright red thing with a giant Flames logo that Matthew thought would be funny to give you – and set out to find Tayrn. She’s easy to spot, waving a giant poster with your name on it. Abandoning nearly all airport etiquette, you rush through the crowd to see her. Over the years she’s become a little sister and close friend, and you really wish you could see her more frequently.

“Y/N!” Taryn squeals as you wrap your arms around her. The pair of you embrace for another moment or two before making your way to her car. Neither of you can stop talking, so excited to be in each other’s presence.

“It’s so nice to be back,” you sigh. “I really do like St. Louis.”

Tayrn giggles. “You’re just excited to see Matthew.”

Though she isn’t wrong, you swat her bicep in faux annoyance. “What? Can a girl not enjoy a nice Midwestern city?” You push your sunglasses up onto the bridge of your nose before continuing. “Besides, I only came here to see you. I see enough of Matt at home.”

She rolls her eyes but extends her arm so you can fist bump her. With a quick look to make sure the way is clear, Taryn exits the parking spot and heads in the direction of your temporary home. The open sunroof allows the wind to whip through your hair and you struggle to tame it enough to put it in a ponytail. One Direction blasts from the stereo, and you join Taryn in screaming the lyrics until your lungs hurt. Being on vacation, even if it’s only to St. Louis, is so freeing. You don’t have to deal with work deadlines or friendship drama. All that matters is spending time with Matthew.

When you pull into the Tkachuk’s driveway it’s empty. It’s Thursday afternoon; Chantal’s at work, Keith is golfing with friends, and the boys are at the rink. You take a few minutes to unpack, filling Matthew’s drawers with your clothes, before joining Taryn by the pool. St. Louis is just as hot as the city you left, and the travel has left you feeling below average. A quick swim is sure to be the perfect remedy.

The water is the right kind of cool, and alleviates any stress you were possibly feeling. You’re properly in vacation mode now, lounging on pool floaties and gossiping with Taryn. An hour later when Matthew returns home you’re in basically the same position. Stepping out into the yard he sees you urging Taryn to turn around so you can place sunscreen onto the one spot she missed, laughing all the while at some ridiculous celebrity rumor she’s telling you. Seeing you get along so easy with his sister, and the rest of his family, makes his heart swell.

In the couple of months you’ve been separated, Matthew’s thought a lot about his future. Specifically about his future with you. When he closes his eyes he can see it clearly: the two of you married with children and a dog, living in a house in the mountains and loving life. It’s idyllic, and even though he knows you’d say yes if he asked you, Matthew still can’t bring himself to do it. There’s something in the back of his brain telling him to wait until he knows with absolute certainty that you’re it for him.

Not wanting to be separated from you for a minute more, he snaps out of his daze and scurries over. Wrapping his arms tightly around your waist and pressing a kiss to the base of neck, he relishes in how you mould to him immediately, not even questioning who it was.

“Welcome back baby,” Matthew mumbles into your skin.

With a chuckle you wriggle slightly in his grasp, allowing yourself to face him. You press a kiss to his lips and it feels like heaven. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, you suppose, because you could stand here kissing Matthew your the rest of your life and be happy.

“Hi Matty,” you giggle against his lips, parting from him only to rest your forehead on his and twist a curl around your finger.

From somewhere inside the house you hear Brady yell, “Jesus Christ, you two, get a room.”

Without taking his eyes off you, Matthew replies, “Fuck off Brady!”

two

The energy inside the Saddledome is electric. It’s the Flames’ first home game in nearly a week, doing an east coast road trip and sweeping every team they faced. Six games later the team is on a nine game winning streaking and are hoping to keep it going. You know how much it matters in this moment – the playoffs are fast approaching and all points they can tally up are needed.

You had decided months ago to buy rinkside tickets for this game, planning to surprise Matthew. He loves when you sit in the regular crowd, cheering and spilling your beer like any old fan. It’s humbling for the both of you, and honestly you enjoy it. Though you love those in the Better Halves box, you were a hockey fan before dating Matthew and sometimes like to enjoy games by yourself. Plus, your friend was supposed to be in town and join you at the game, and you figured she’d like to experience how insane the area is firsthand.

So you do your best to quickly shimmy around those blocking your seat, beverage in hand. It was all you could do to get to the rink on time, sitting in the dense downtown traffic for nearly three quarters of an hour after rushing out of work. You wanted to make it before warmups started to make sure Matt knows you’re there supporting him. No one really bats an eye at you, which you’re thankful for. In no way are you notorious, but it wouldn’t take a die-hard fan long to recognize you. Sitting down and letting a soft sigh escape your lips, you carefully place your jacket over the seat beside you. At the last minute your friend had to cancel her trip to Calgary, leaving you solo. With a quick look at the clock you see that warm up will start in just under a minute. The players begin to step onto the ice as you sip your beer. Matthew is yet to notice you but you don’t take offence. He’s in the zone and most likely won’t realize you’re sitting right in front of him until halfway through the third period.

“Look daddy, it’s Matthew Tkachuk!” you hear a young boy shriek in excitement. “He’s so fast, I want to play just like him.”

You turn to look and see two rows above you there’s a father and son, who looks around eight. He’s wearing a jersey identical to yours, and from the sounds of his excited chattering it’s his first game. Seeing the young boy so happy to be here, to see your boyfriend, has your heart swelling. You want to make this a game he’ll never forget.

“Hi,” you smile at the father. “I don’t mean to intrude, but I know Matthew quite well. Would you like me to get his attention so your son could meet him?”

A shocked expression makes its way onto the dad’s face, but he doesn’t react negatively. “You’d do that?” he asks. “Riley loves Matthew. Wants to be just like him.” When you nod, he lets you approach the boy.

“Hey there Riley, I’m Y/N,” you say, smiling and extending a hand to him. “I’m a special friend of Matthew’s. Would you like to meet him?”

The boy looks at his father tentatively, and only once he nods encouragingly does Riley respond to your question. “Yes please.”

“Why don’t you come down here with me and we’ll get his attention?”

With a little help from you, Riley climbs over the seats and plops unceremoniously beside you. You help him straighten out his jersey before beginning a conversation. He tells you he plays in a local youth league and wants to make it to the NHL one day. When prompted, you explain to him that you work a boring office job that you love even though it makes you angry sometimes. It’s all very formal, but after cracking a few jokes you get him to loosen up.

Matthew, still not having noticed you, begins to skate along the boards in your direction. “Watch this,” you whisper-yell to your newfound friend, “I bet he’ll jump super high.”

As soon as Matthew passes your spot you bang on the glass and scream his name. Sure enough, his skates lift a good three inches of the ice and he shrieks. Teammates around him laugh and the look on his face is priceless when he discovers you’re the culprit.

“Babe!”

You smile. “Matty, this is my new friend Riley. He wears number nineteen just like you!” A glance at the boy lets you know he’s starstruck, and your eyes lock with Matthew’s.

He leans down and rests his hands on his knees, at eye level with the child. “Hi Riley,” he begins. “I’m Matt. I like your jersey.”

After that, Riley’s a tap that won’t turn off. He details every bit of his day to Matt, and even though their voices are muffled a bit from the glass they get on like two peas in a pod. Matthew is great with children and doesn’t shy away from having legitimate conversations with them. He talks to them like they’re people, which is something you admire about him. The warmup time runs out, but before he heads back to the dressing room Matthew hoists his stick over the glass, giving it to Riley. The younger boy beams and waves goodbye. You blow Matthew a kiss, which he gladly returns, and turn your attention away from him as his figure retreats.

“Is he your boyfriend?”The question makes you laugh.

“Is it that obvious?” you ask, to which Riley just shrugs.

“He called you ‘babe’, and my mommy calls my dad that. That means you’re in love,” he says as though it’s the most obvious thing in the entire world.

Matthew cannot pay attention in the locker room for the life of him. He’s trying really hard to listen to everyone’s hype speeches, but his mind keeps wandering back to the interaction you shared during warm up. You looked so happy watching him interact with the boy you found god knows where within the arena. It’s then he realizes he wants to watch you act like that for the rest of his life. He wants to see you bring excited children to meet him because you have the power to make their nights. His suspicion is confirmed when he steps onto the ice and looks in your direction, finding you and Riley pressed up against the glass cheering loudly.

three

The Giordano’s are hosting an end-of-season barbeque before everyone scatters into the wind, and you’re going to be late. No matter how much you reminded Matthew of what time you had to leave he still started getting ready as you were finishing up. This typically wouldn’t be a big deal, but he has recently started taking care of his curls, and the routine eats up a lot more time than he anticipates.

“Matty, are you almost ready? There’s going to be no parking!”

His footsteps echo off the hardwood floor as he comes towards you. “That’s what you’re worrying about, baby? Parking?” Matthew laughs, pulling you into his side and kissing the crown of your head.

“Yeah Matt, I am. You know I have parking anxiety.”

“I’ll drive then,” he says sweetly. “Besides, it’s been a while since I’ve driven us. Have some fun tonight.”

The short drive across town is full of laughter. Neither of you are great singers, but it doesn’t stop you from belting out lyrics at the top of your lungs. At some point Matthew breaks out a rather terrible impression of Axl Rose and you just have to post it to your instagram story. Captioning with a simple microphone emoji, you slip your phone back into your sweater pocket. Though most certainly warm enough to spend the entire evening outside, Calgary currently has a bit of a proclivity for wind, and you’d rather be prepared. Outside of Mark and Lauren’s house Matthew finds a spot and parallel parks with ease.

“Shut up,” you mumble, poking your tongue out at him.

Matthew ruffles your hair in retaliation before jumping out of the vehicle, booking it around to the other side so he can open your door. He isn’t slick about hiding his intentions, grabbing a handful off your ass before leaning down to kiss you. Though you’d much rather stand in the cul-de-sac and make out with your boyfriend, you both have appearances to keep up. You get him to stop being a pest kong enough that you can enter the party and pass him off to his teammates.

You congregate with some of the other girls in the corner of the yard, and enjoy a drink while the sun sets. It’s fun to gossip with them, to catch up one final time before most of them leave. You’ll be staying in Calgary, job tying you down for the foreseeable future. The only thing that’s better than spending time with your friends is glancing at Matthew from across the space.

He’s enjoying himself, glass of water in hand. When he offered to be the designated driver he was serious, and he took the shit the boys were giving him in stride. Though you’ve only had one gin and tonic and can’t feel the effects of the alcohol, you’re glad he’s staying true to his word. The heightened water intake makes his skin glow, and you’re having a hard time staying focussed on the story Lauren is telling. He catches you staring and shoots you a dazzling smile. Tired of keeping your distance, you excuse yourself from the conversation and saunter over to your boyfriend.

“Hey Y/N,” Noah says breezily, raising his glass to you in mock salute. You wrap your arms tightly around Matthew’s waist.

“Hanifin,” you smile. “I’m really sorry to do this, but I need to pull Matt away for a quick second.”

No one in the group is the least bit surprised. The two of you have a reputation for being young and in love, sneaking off often and doing everything that entails. Once the two of you are alone you rest a hand on his chest, dangerously close to the button of his shirt. You then move kissing along the underside of his jaw, pressing your body closer to his to ensure he gets the point.

“Needy baby?” Matthew tries to smirk, but his voice wavers when you reach the junction of his jawbone and earlobe.

Declining to speak, you continue your actions until he’s just as desperate to get home as you. Though you try to be sneaky as you exit through the back gate, you won’t be surprised if you wake up to a few crude text messages. You’re too far gone to care, solely focussed on showing your boyfriend how much you love him.

The entire ride home Matthew can barely focus on the road. Not because you’re doing anything particularly risqué, a few too many close calls have put you both off of initiating things in the car, but because he doesn’t ever want to stop sneaking away from events with you. It’s exhilarating in more ways than one, and he hopes the feeling never goes away. Being with you, his best friend, is something he wouldn’t trade for the entire world. So what if he gets chirped by the boys for having precariously placed marks on his back.

four

September brings a chill to Calgary, but you couldn’t feel warmer. Matthew is due home this afternoon after nearly four months of being away. Of course you visited him in St. Louis, and he even flew back to the city once, but the two of you were mostly separated. Your shared apartment felt cold and lonely without him to annoy you, so you had spent as much time away from it as possible. No longer do you have to fall asleep with Matt’s side of the bed stone cold.

Though you know he likely won’t care, you’re nervous about the new decor. In an effort to make yourself feel better in Matthew’s absence, you completed some home renovations. Most are superficial, like a new sectional and an ungraded home speaker system, but you had redone the entire kitchen after scrolling through pinterest. The cabinets are a bright yellow, and the walls are a warm cream. Subway tile has also replaced the previous backsplash. You’re quite proud of the way it looks – doing pretty much all of it yourself and only calling your dad when you really needed help.

You spend much of the morning not doing anything productive, pacing the hallway back and forth. It’s nerve wracking and exciting to have Matthew home. Things will go much smoother with his presence even if he can sometimes be the most annoying person on the planet. You force yourself to eat a small meal before continuing to wear holes into your floor. He’ll arrive in a matter of minutes, and you’re practically vibrating with how much your legs are shaking.

A key twists in the lock, as though it’s a Pavlovian response, you bound towards the front door. Not even letting him step over the threshold you wrap yourself around him as tightly as possible. Matthew giggles sweetly, and you swear it’s the best sound you’ve ever heard. Tears flow freely down your cheeks and soak through his shirt. In a very ungraceful waddle Matthew carries the both of you inside your home and shuts the door lightly.

“What’s the matter, Y/N?” Matt asks, obviously concerned because this is more emotional than any homecoming you’ve ever had.

Through hiccupping sobs, you stutter out, “I painted the kitchen cabinets yellow and you’re going to hate them. And then you’ll want to break up with me but I won’t be able to take them with me.”

“Woah woah woah, slow down baby,” he soothes, rubbing circles on your back. “Why am I going to hate it?”

When you can’t come up with a justifiable answer, he knows your anxiety just got the better of you. Repositioning you slightly so you’re tucked into his side, Matthew walks through the apartment to see the kitchen for himself. He’s blown away by its beauty, and he can see just how much work you put into it. The room is so much brighter and inviting – he can’t imagine having any other kitchen now.

Once you ramble off an apology for being so dramatic that he won’t accept, the two of you settle into the couch and start a reality television marathon. It’s a tradition that both of you take very seriously, and though he’d never admit it to anyone but you, Matthew looks forward to watching the outlandish dramas. The night is quiet, with you getting through quite a few seasons of Desperate Housewives, and at some point you fall asleep on Matthew’s chest. He knows he should gently move you off of him, start to unpack his bags, but he can’t tear himself away.

He can’t help but stare as you snore softly. There’s nothing Matthew would like more than to spend the rest of his life relaxing after coming home to you. If he’s being completely honest, St. Louis doesn’t feel like home as much anymore, and he finds himself counting down the days until he can return to Calgary. Matt supposes you’re the defining factor, and even Antarctica would feel like home to him if you were there. He never wants to lose that feeling.

+ one

There’s ten seconds left on the clock. Ten seconds until the Calgary Flames will become Stanley Cup champions. You’re holding your breath – you know a lot could happen in such a short amount of time. The lead isn’t as wide as you’d like it to be, only one, and you squeeze Taryn’s hand tightly. Everyone in the friends and family box is just as amped up as you. If the choice had been yours, you’d be sitting in the stands of the Saddledome, but in event the Flames win you need to be with everyone else if you want to join the team on the ice.

Matthew carries the puck up the ice, and you audibly gasp. At the last second, a Bruins defenseman is blocking his view of the net. Not letting the scoring opportunity go for his team, he snaps a pass backwards to Elias Lindholm. A nano-second later the puck is in the back of the net. You possibly scream the loudest of anyone in the box, jumping into Brady’s arms excitedly.

“Holy shit, they’re going to do it,” you whisper, and Brady nods enthusiastically. The clock now only has two seconds, and there is virtually no way the Bruins can make a comeback.

You untangle yourself from your boyfriend’s brother and approach his parents. “How exciting is this!” Chantal gushes.

“So fucking exciting,” you say honestly. “Listen, I want to talk to you about something.”

The Bruins’ head coach is halfway through his timeout, so you have to talk fast. You explain that you want to hang back while the family celebrates with their son and brother. Keith and Chantal try to argue, but you insist. You want them to be the first people to greet him as a Stanley Cup champion.

A horn signals the return to play, and you return your attention to the ice pad below you. Everything seems to move in slow motion; all you remember is the final whistle being blown and getting crushed in a group hug by everyone else in the room. Your voice goes hoarse from screaming, and tears stream freely down your face.

The party continues for a short time in the box, but then you’re being led through the arena and out onto the ice. Nodding in the direction of Matthew, you urge the Tkachuks to greet him. You congratulate other members of the team, snapping candid pictures of everyone to share in the group chat later. So many families will treasure the photos that you can’t bring yourself to stop, trying your hardest to grab everyone.

Once enough time has passed for Matthew to properly be congratulated by his family, you make your way towards him. Wasting no time, he skates over and lifts you off your feet. Your lips meet his in a passionate kiss, and if you weren’t so proud you’d have reservations about sticking your tongue down Matthew’s throat in a packed arena.

“I’m so proud of you,” you whisper against his lips. “My champion.”

Matthew blushes profusely at your words, and you can tell he likes them. “Couldn’t have done it without you supporting me,” he responds, leaning into your touch as you rake your fingers through his hair.

While you celebrate with the rest of the team, holding babies and snapping pictures, Matthew realizes he can’t live without you. No one else will fit into his life as perfectly as you. There’s no one he wants besides you. Matthew makes a mental note to go through your jewelry box in the morning to get your ring size. His mom always said he’d know when someone was ‘the one’, and now he understands what she meant.

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

taglist: @jamiedrysdales @kiedhara @tortito @brokeninsidebutnobodyknows if you want to be added shoot me an ask :)

#the sections got shorter and short lmao #oh well #matthew tkachuk imagine #matthew tkachuk x reader #matthew tkachuk fic #calgary flames imagine #hockey imagine #hockey fic #nhl imagine #nhl fic #cwrites

587 notes · View notes

papipopsicle · 3 years

Text

SHY AWAY PART ONE

Pairing: Bucky Banes X Reader

Summary: In which an imitation Captain America leads to Y/N leaving her holiday early and coming back to the field. Stuck between her only two friends, she's forced to reveal a secret she'd kept even from herself.

Song: Centuries by Fall Out Boy

Warnings: none unless John Walker counts

Words: 1.2 K

MASTERLIST

feedback is always appreciated

The evening had been such a lovely one up until an unscheduled press conference cut off Brooklyn Nine Nine half way through an episode. Y/N had once again turned up on Bucky's doorstep, no longer unannounced but instead with an invite from the super soldier. Two months ago he'd asked for her phone number abashedly, calling her every couple of nights since then.

Before 'the blip' the two had been fairly friendly- Y/N visited Wakanda between her missions, sometimes with Steve but often alone. She kept him updated with world news, brought books for them to read together and he would retell each memory uncovered by whatever Shuri was doing to his mind. Some were of the thirties and forties, adolescence and entering the Second World War. Others were of missions in which his body was no longer in his ownership anymore.

"Did you know Steve Rogers?" The TV personality asked, sat atop her tall chair with a large microphone pointed at a nobody named John Walker. Though now he would never have the luxury of counting as a nobody again.

Y/N twisted her head away from the screen, carefully observing Bucky's near unreadable expression of fury and betrayal. The blonde Captain wannabe began spouting nonsense about the two's best friend, words that sounded fancy and heartfelt with a warm smile, but his entire person felt like ice in Y/N's eyes.

"Even though I never met him, he feels like a brother." John's already insufferable voice called across the undecorated apartment. The female agent leant across Bucky, grabbing the remote and switching off the television before more drivel about their dead friend spilled from his mouth.

The super soldiers jaw clenched, unclenched then clenched once more. If it wasn't for Y/N's tentative touch to his bicep, the the now switched off screen would have a fist shaped hole through it, as well as the wall behind it. Instead, a couple of tears escaped and Y/N used the sleeve of her sweater to wipe them away silently, allowing Bucky to curl into her.

His body shook gently for a man of his size, and even in his disturbed state, he was careful not to cause her any discomfort. Bucky felt a kiss reach for the side of his temple, "His suit was even worse than the one Coulson designed for Stevie in New York."

Y/N squeezed her friend's right shoulder, running her calloused hand through his short hair. It took forty five minutes for his body to stop the small tremors; short, fast breaths levelling out into soft exhalations. James hadn't ever been able to make sense of the messy emotions within him, his therapist was court mandated and only cared about him becoming a stable non-violent citizen. Sam tried his best, spilling out all the advice he'd given vets at the VA years ago, but it was nothing new.

The assassin holding him was the only one who really tried to understand. Forced him to see she truly wanted to help and understand, not out of curiosity or malice. Because Steve had helped her accept herself as human, and he deserved the same.

"Where are you going?" Steve screamed for the third time, pulling his blood soaked friend into his freshly showered hold and crisp muscle tee. Rain coated the outskirts of Manhattan with fury, the icy cool pellets of November skies feeling dull against her numb skin.

Y/N's chin was tilted upwards, her apathetic eyes meeting the super soldiers righteous ones. They landed from a mission half an hour ago, and while Steve washed away the dirt and debris, his best friend was about to start her next as Friday alerted her to a missing young girl.

"Duty calls, Cap." She raised an eyebrow in defence, only drawing attention to her bloodshot corneas and deep purple under eyes.

He rolled his own in response, directing her back towards the compound before her mind could even register what was going on, "Post mission cool down, honey. You're no help to anyone if you aren't functioning fully."

Steve put this protocol in place specifically for Y/N. It was the only way to get her to look after herself and process the mission effectively. Before him, she had no coping mechanisms, and before the protocol she refused his pleas.

"She needs help, Stevie." Y/N pouted as her body was lightly pushed through the front door.

"And someone who didn't just annihilate a Neo Hydra base will help her, you know that." His voice was firm but soothing to the ex assassin, who was still being guided down in the direction of her room, "Want me to help you? I could get Nat if you like, she's-"

"Please." She looked over her shoulder timidly, the distant facade broken away instantaneously. Steve silently agreed. He started the shower giving it time to warm up. Y/N stripped herself of her armour and weapons first, then the tactical suit, and her friend helped her out of her underwear.

He gave her time to sit down in the shower, her eyes averted from the large mirrors. Taking the shower head from its hook, washing away the matted blood and mud. His movements were careful and loving, the entire exchange innocent and devoid of any romance or lust.

Steve washed her unmoving body until the water ran clean and she was ready to stand. He hugged her body into a plush white towel, squeezing the warmed fabric against her clean skin.

Y/N held Bucky through the whole night, slumped against the wooden floor with a frayed blanket curled under her head. Her neck ached as she made breakfast the next morning, but for her, it was worthwhile to know her friend had slept through the dark hours without stirring.

"Where do you think Wilson is right now?" Bucky's muffled voice called out, swallowing the hash brown with a large gulp of black coffee.

Y/N stopped herself from rolling her eyes at the question, knowing exactly what the super soldier’s plans were simply by the irritation in his tone, “I know where he is, Buck. But you know, if you go after him, I’ll be coming after both of you. And we’re all going to get dragged into something together sooner or later.”

“Yeah well, it was bound to happen. Just can’t seem to stay away from the fight.” Bucky raised his eyebrows in defeat. He wanted to be himself so badly, wanted Y/N to be human and go on coffee dates with friends, explore the world outside the perimeters of a mission, to sleep soundly at night.

But for now, neither of them felt completely human. The idea of focusing on the next mission felt easier than fixing themselves.

PART TWO

wanna be tagged? just send in an ask

#fanfic #fanfiction #Bucky barnes #Bucky #imagine #fluff #angst #Bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes masterlist #bucky barnes fanfiction #Bucky barnes imagine #james bucky barnes #fatws bucky #james buchanan barnes #Bucky imagine #Bucky barnes x reader

104 notes · View notes

apixrl · 3 years

Text

IT'S YOU.

hanta sero x fem!reader

WARNING(S): slight angst. mostly arguing / tension but fluff towards the end.

word count: 5.3k

song: it's you // gavriel

note(s): if u stan him ur immediately just so hot and sexc and if not ur just really stinky sorry not sorry

italian translation - translator !!

The heavy pouring rain waged war against your once dry and stylish jacket. The piece of clothing now resorted to an added weight as you strode forth to reach your apartment complex. Luckily you were only a street away, your hurried walk turning into a legitimate jog when the storeyed building came into sight. It was Friday night, meaning the day you worked overtime for the sake of earning a little extra as well as filling in for a coworker. Most of the day the weather had been miserable, the sky maintaining a mundane and drilling grey cloudy sketch that slowly collected into rain. Luckily your morning walk to work hadn't been affected by the downfall but the weather had chosen to stick around for your walk home.

Your jacket glued itself to your frame as its capability to keep you dry fleetly decreased, the hoodie underneath beginning to dampen ever so faintly too. Your pants were already taken to the rain, answering its call by absorbing the water into the fabric and making them exceptionally uncomfortable to wear. The pair of shoes on your feet struggled to bind together as they countlessly stepped in puddle after puddle, wearing and tearing with every step you took.

Cars passed by, tires causing gushes of water to hit the pavement. The street lamps did nothing to show your presence as they sped by, your body growing damper from the droplets of water hitting you. You briefly scolded the inconsiderate drivers in your head, eyes glancing ahead to meet an approaching individual. They were most likely a neighbour but given the darkness surrounding you weren't entirely sure, ultimately deciding to keep your head down and not draw attention to yourself.

In truth, this wasn't the only reason.

During the last week and a half, your want to socialise was relatively low, finding a lot of your spare time spent at home and in your own company. The separation from society was healthy for your recently plagued mind, spending afternoons finding all kinds of homely leisure to pass the hours by. It felt much more wholesome and enjoyable to endeavour in a story from your bookshelf or writing poetry in your journal straight from the heart rather than sitting aimlessly on your phone. Simply scrolling through social media to bore the day away.

Why the sudden stray from society to your own little world? Well... sometimes having a popular Pro Hero as a boyfriend came with its cons. Especially when hardships came between. As of the Tuesday approaching, it would be your ten-month anniversary with your partner - Hanta. Or what he was better known as; Taping Hero: Cellophane.

Yours and his meet was rather mundane truth be told. What started as a journey to purchase a recently released volume of one of Hanta's favourite manga comics took a drastic turn and became something much more meaningful. He caught you grabbing the final copy available, smoothly swooping in to attempt to charm you into giving him the comic (the ravenette had been to about five stores before that during patrol - a rather lousy thing to do but he justified his actions with lack of spare time). However, he walked out with a date two nights later instead, finding himself be moved by your own charms and attraction that Hanta urged himself to ask and not miss the chance.

From there, things were taken slow. His social status was shared pretty quickly, faster than Hanta felt comfortable with - liking the idea of you liking him for who he was over his fame and wealth. It didn't affect your perspective of the ravenette, since you had already fallen for him before such information could be told. It took a month before you officially became boyfriend and girlfriend, and life couldn't have been better for the pair of you. For the most part, your relationship was perfectly stable and as healthy as you could make it. But unfortunately, all good things must come with a cost.

See, one thing you were to learn with growing closer to Hanta was he kept his personal life extremely separate from his heroic persona. Such a statement was made very clear before you brought your relationship to the next level since the ravenette requested that if you were to become lovers that he would want it to remain private. So he could feel he had a somewhat normal life outside of his duties as a hero. Whilst becoming a Pro was his dream and the man loved his job, Hanta was also a sucker for peace and quiet too. Having that metaphorical and literal balance in his life granted him inner peace, and as his partner, you respected that.

At least at first, since you didn't think you would reach ten months together and still be hiding behind sunglasses whenever the pair of you wanted to see a movie.

You couldn't lie, it was endearingly sweet Hanta felt that way, partly anyway. The fact he cherished your love and relationship so close to his heart that it was only shared between you two. But your irrationality couldn't help but make you wonder how in a concerning way, Hanta's desire to keep you from his greatest achievement in life (becoming a top ten pro) almost felt like he was hiding you... like he didn't want you a part of it. And once that thought struck you as the ravenette rested peacefully beside you one night, it didn't shy away anytime soon. Given the fact you had spoken briefly about making yourselves public in the past with little to no issue, you didn't think you would cause harm by bringing it up again. But it seemed your choice of when to bring it up was poor, as it most certainly did not run smoothly between you.

Something about his day had irritated Hanta, and so you pinning such focus on the subject seemed to pass him over his limit. There were a few snaps here and there, which you didn't necessarily appreciate, and Hanta's lack of enthusiasm and care for your request made you all the more upset. So weighted emotions matched with the evident disagreement surely lead to Hanta storming out of your apartment with such a slam to the door you wouldn't have expressed shock if your neighbour's stepped out in the hall to see the chaos ensuing.

That was nine days ago, and so far neither of you had seen nor spoken to the other. You'd made attempts to contact him since then, attempts you knew before you tried would come out unsuccessful. But from observation, Hanta was surprisingly a complete mess when it came to emotions based on negativity. Whenever the ravenette grew angry or agitated he became a closed book, so hard for you to read that the only thing you learned that worked was to give him space. To let him get through his upset alone since he never seemed to allow for outer help and comfort to assist. Which you despised because you wanted to help him through his troubles. To be there as the big spoon or to be the shoulder to cry on. But stupid male pride got in the way, Hanta building a wall so high and thick between him, his emotions and you that truth be told you had no idea how to push through.

So you resorted to letting him get over it in his own time, knowing deep down he would come around eventually. It wasn't the first quarrel you'd had and hopefully not the worst, and you knew this was Hanta's way of dealing with it. Whilst you had been willing to wait it out, you placed that thought in your head thinking it to be only two or three days before Hanta made some sort of effort.

But it was nine. And that was beginning to concern you greatly.

You finally reached the stairs leading up to your apartment building, the relief flowing through your system so freeing and wonderous. All that was left was to type in the passcode by the main doors and you would be merrily under shelter, able to kick off your trainers and slip into some comfy sweats. Perhaps even make yourself a warm cup of cocoa and watch an episode of a show you needed to catch up on before the sweet release of sleep. Or so you thought it was going to go.

Twenty minutes later and your thumb grazed lightly over your phone's home screen, imaginatively stroking the black hair of a certain boy you loved dear as he smiled cross-eyed back at you. The photo was taken when Hanta took you ice skating in the countryside during the winter which previously passed. He discovered a secluded location hiding a spacious lake that had been glazed with thick, sturdy ice. After numerous times of losing your balance, Hanta deemed it amusing to take a photo with you as you sat on your backside in defeat. And whilst it did humiliate you, you adored Hanta's goofy looking face in the photo. Hence why it was your background.

You'd found yourself staring at the photo the night prior too, contemplating whether to try to call again or not. What if something was wrong? What if Hanta was injured and somewhere under repair at one of the numerous hospitals in the city? God... what if the doofus finally slung himself across the city as crazily as that Western hero he never shut up about and fell to his death? And your setback from social media was the reason you hadn't found out yet? See! This was a reason why you wanted to go public! At least in an emergency, somebody would know who to contact!

Your brows crinkled at that final thought, what began as concern moving back a step to annoyance and you settled on tossing your phone behind you on your bed in defeat. Proceeding to stand upright, you tugged the oversized hoodie (Hanta's hoodie not to mention) on your person and wandered through the rooms of your apartment to your kitchen. Where the bubbling of your kettle boiling water filtered your ears. The low hum calmed you as you leaned against the counter in thought, arms crossed over your chest and your eyes focused deeply beyond the wooden flooring.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

The noise went unheard at first, so occupied in your head you mistook the sound for the kettle boiling. But when the triple trill sounded again, it dawned on you that that was most certainly not how a kettle was supposed to sound. Snapping out of your focus, your head lifted to the kettle before it scanned the room around you. Nothing seemed different at all, and nothing inside your apartment had a reason to make such a sound.

Unless you had rats... then maybe that would make sense.

Please don't be rats.

Having no initial success, you blankly went back to your thoughtful state - the kettle finally boiling. Permitting you to fill the lavender painted mug that waited impatiently on the side, four heaped teaspoons of cocoa powder begging for hydration inside. Now actually having something to do you hoisted yourself off of the counter, stepping to the one opposite to do the task at hand. But then just as you were going to pour the heated water...

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap!

This time it was more rushed and heightened, holding a lack of patience to a certain extent. It was there you finally trailed your eyes left, right and centre, your E/C irises landing on the french doors past your sofa which lead to your balcony. Doing as much as possible to downplay your panic by putting on a brave face, you manoeuvred from your perch in the kitchen and headed for the doors to glance outside. Thankfully the light on the balcony was switched on, giving you a glimpse of silhouettes to the arrangement of the outdoor area. At first, nothing seemed different at all. Just the usual setting your balcony always had. A few potted plants and a small sakura blossom which you'd been growing from the seed, as well as a glass table and four chairs. Not to mention the closed up umbrella and pole reaching for the stars above too. But looking over your observations, something went amiss. Since when did you have five chairs?

Squinting your eyes in a struggle to focus better, they were only set to widen as it hit you what you could see. There, perched on your balcony in a squatting position was a person... balancing perfectly on the thin pole as their head leaned forwards to occasionally peer inside the glass doors. It took a second or two for you to figure out what was going on. But the moment you recalled the fact you had a boyfriend with the ability to swing from rooftop to rooftop, your heart both plummeted to your feet and leapt to the heavens above simultaneously.

After realising what was happening, you moved to the lock of the glass doors and grabbed hold. That movement seemed to indicate shifting on the exterior because the person on the other side stood upright and casually stepped off the railing as though it were a stair. You swallowed thickly, clamping down on the inside of your cheek in worry that you could not see his face. Unfortunate for your nerves since at least then you could gain some form of presumption to what his expression read. So walking in blind, you unlocked the door and jiggled it open, the glass door sliding to the side easily. Quickly did the silent walls of your apartment be filled to the brim with the heavy downpour of rain and distant car horns in the distance. As well as the overhanging state of tension in the air as your eyes trailed up the slender frame of your visitor and meeting the ebony eyes you'd been missing for far too long now.

"What... what are you doing here?" You uttered out after a long twenty seconds passed. Upon opening the door no words were said, only the longing gaze of two conflicted lovers. Hanta stood before you with a discouraged expression, lips tightly pursed together with no catchphrase toothy grin to show. He was donning his hero costume, though his helmet appeared to be missing for reasons you didn't know why. But it didn't help Hanta one bit since his black locks were laced with the heavy downpour from above. You imagined his hero costume was drenched as well, damp spandex sounding all too discomforting in your head as you used it as a focus to ease the nerves you felt to the sudden visit.

"Hey," Hanta finally said after what felt like a millennium. What were his usual cheerful tones came out low and unsure, like the ravenette hadn't come prepared and was relying on other factors to push himself forward. With sunken brows and a clear of his throat, Hanta continued as he lifted his eyes to meet yours. "Can I come in?"

"Oh... right, sure," You stated blankly and stepped back for him to do so. At first, you wanted to ask him why he decided to come to your balcony of all things, but the look in his eyes had convinced you to wait for that chance. There was just something about those gorgeous orbs of ebony you couldn't say no to - conflict or not. Luckily your apartment flooring was hard, meaning any water from Hanta's shoes (or soles as his costume didn't use shoes) could be mopped up and dealt with later. Not that you were thinking about that at all. Your mind was too focused on processing what was going on.

"I was in the neighbourhood and you know that my tape is crap in rain so... I didn't know where else to crash," Hanta started once inside your apartment. He nervously laughed as though to ease inner feelings, hands meeting his hips in a lost attempt to make conversation. It was mainly due to the fact you hadn't properly greeted him, sort of dawdling between him and the sofa. You looked Hanta up and down and sighed, seeing how soaked he was.

"Here... slip this on," You lifted your hands over your head to tug the hoodie off, holding it out for Hanta to take. It was his anyway, and it would be a lie to say you weren't wearing it for his scent. Underneath the hoodie, you donned a simple black tank top you tended to wear during your morning jogs or times of exercise. The ravenette took it reluctantly, initiating you to head for your bedroom. "I'll go grab you some pants too. And a towel for your hair,"

"Oh... okay then," Hanta was genuinely astonished by the hospitality, watching you disappear down the hall. As you grabbed the aforementioned items, he began to remove the top half of his hero costume. It was true that Hanta loved his hero costume very much but when it came to the rain he wanted nothing more than to change the design completely. The spandex soaked up the rain and it took hours to drip out, not only dampening him but also multiplying its weight much more than double its usual. With his tape dispenser shoulder pads placed on the floor, Hanta stripped himself of his top half. Sighing when he discovered the rain had seeped through and dampened his skin. Luckily you entered the room shortly after, carrying some grey sweats of Hanta's and a freshly cleaned towel.

"So... is there any other reason you decided to scare the crap out of me on my balcony?" You questioned flatly, a hand on your hip as you held the towel out for Hanta, placing the sweats on the sofa cushion next to him. He mumbled a quick thanks, promptly starting to dry his upper half.

"Well yeah," The ravenette stopped momentarily to glance your way, ebony eyes finding you back at the countertop in the kitchen where you resumed the task of making cocoa. Hanta quickly expressed a sigh. "W-We gotta talk,"

"About?" You asked innocently, though you were fully aware of what was being implied. Chewing the inside of your cheek as you did your best not to make eye contact, Hanta furrowed his brows at you.

"I think you know,"

"Well, are we starting afresh or picking up where we left off? The moment you decided to storm out of here and slam the door shut?" You spoke in a passive-aggressive manner because truth be told, you didn't appreciate Hanta's way of handling your last discussion at all. So you were certainly planning on letting him know. Speaking of which, Hanta was now scrubbing his raven locks dry as his eyes closed in response. Almost like he expected you to react in such a manner. Though he refrained from biting back, knowing that would only make it worse. Not his aim for visiting.

"Starting afresh,"

"Okay then," Was all you said, stirring your spoon and tapping it quite obnoxiously on the side of the mug before dropping it into the kitchen sink. Then you moved to the fridge to grab yourself some squirty cream. The can practically empty, it reminded you how badly you needed to go grocery shopping the next day. As for a reply, from across the room, you could only see the essence of hesitance. Either from Hanta figuring where to go from that or ultimate regret for even coming. Your bets were on both.

"Look Y/N -," The ravenette began, relatively quick to dry the rest of himself off and to put on the remaining clothes. Just as he was prepared to skirt over to your side, his actions ceased upon seeing you setting yourself down on the armchair opposite. Hanta had a moment where he didn't move, unsure what to do before he resorted to sitting down on the sofa. Feeling it the only safe thing to do. "I don't want problems between us. It's the last thing I want, okay?"

"I um... okay," You said, fingertips tapping lightly against the ceramic mug filled to the brim with whipped cream and cocoa. Hanta met your gaze for a split second, hands proceeding to fiddle with the other much more prominently.

"But... I want you to know that I've been thinking about it and well... I guess if it'll make you happy, I'm willing to do it and go public," Hanta spoke through a sigh. Peculiar, because a week ago you would have probably broken into a bright smile and jumped straight into the ravenette's arms then and there. Yet, you remained in your seat and mouthed a small oh of... disappointment was it? Whilst you weren't certain what it was, it most definitely felt like that. Which was odd because the words Hanta had just uttered were the ones you had been waiting to hear for months now.

Funnily enough, it didn't take you long to figure out why. Because throughout the previous week and the lack of contact, that's exactly what had been the route of the problem. The way Hanta treated you during your last interaction and the lack of communication mixed with it. It wasn't the original issue anymore. Of course, you still wanted that. But you additionally craved a sense of closure for how you were treated.

"Hanta I...," Hanta's brows crinkled together in a frown, not shy to display his confusion to your hesitant tones.

"What? What is it? T-That's what you want right?" He replied.

"Yes, it's what I want. But that's not the issue anymore,"

"What do you mean? I'm not following...," His response made you scoff. Not exactly great for the situation at hand. You remained silent for a little bit longer, scratching the side of your head as you sat upright to elaborate.

"Hanta... you haven't texted or called me in over a week. You walked out of here after a fight and practically went radio silent!" Was your protest, watching as Hanta fell back against the sofa. Unbeknownst to you, there was another reason he did this. An inner conflict he had yet to unveil. A prolonged silence ensued as if Hanta was trying to find the correct words to say.

"Because I needed space Y/N... time to think!"

"Yeah well we both did... but even calling just to say that would have been reassuring," You weren't finished despite trailing off, Hanta seeming to notice by the way your lips were faintly parted. "I know you have a busy schedule but... but...," The thought entered your mind for a split moment, doing much more damage than intended.

"But what?"

"It doesn't matter. I-it's stupid," You tried to brush it off, suppressing the thought further down into your system so it wouldn't win you over. Hanta didn't seem to like that though, his head tilting your way with his eyes boring into your own. He could tell when something was bothering you, just from your body language.

"No. Tell me,"

"You're not losing interest in me, are you?" It sounded ridiculous the moment you uttered the words, and it sounded even more ridiculous as Hanta's hands met the bridge of his nose in a heavy sigh. Quickly causing you to further your point. "I-I just thought that you not wanting to go public and being 'busy' was a nice way of saying -,"

"Don't even finish that sentence,"

"Sorry," The silence lingering between you both drowned out your voice, to which you looked down at your hands with a sigh. The ravenette sat upright rather abruptly, shifting onto his feet and coursing a hand through his hair. There was a clashing frown on his face as he reflected on the words he just heard.

"I can't believe you would even think that... that I'm growing tired of you!" Hanta called out in disbelief, near offended by the accusation. His body twisted to face you, eyeing you down for some sort of explanation or justification to what you said.

"It's hard not to when you're giving off all these... these signs!" That was your best response. Though you were set to be cut off by another sharp sigh from Hanta. One of many expressed that rainy night. You watched as he walked on over to the glass doors he entered moments earlier, observing the rain slashing harshly against the clear surface. It had grown even heavier since his entry, the back of his mind relieved to be out of the dangerous weather and inside closed doors. He didn't ponder on it long though, returning to the situation at hand and leaving the indistinct 'pitter-patter' of the rain behind him.

"Y/N have you ever thought for a single moment why I've kept you secret for so long?"

"You said you liked your private life to be away from your hero one... a-and I get that!" You replied urgently. "I'm okay with all the publicity and the social media responses and -," As though he expected that answer, Hanta interrupted you with a near saddened laugh. It caused you to frown and glare his way, about to raise your voice if not for his own voice filling the apartment.

"You know my job isn't just walking around being a celebrity, right?" Hanta glanced back at you. "I'm a hero for crying out loud! I protect people from danger! People like you!" The ravenette pressed a closed fist against the glass pane of the door, forehead inches away from the surface since Hanta shifted most of his weight onto it. You tilted your head, frowning.

"I know that but -,"

"But do you?" Hanta's tone came off harsher than intended to emphasise his point. But he was quick to abandon it, clicking his tongue in defeat to a battle in his head when he realised he had to explain his case. He'd been reluctant to say anything about his activities in the last week since technically not even the press knew, but lying wasn't going to get Hanta and you anywhere. So he surrendered to the urge and spoke. "Listen, the reason I didn't message you this week is that I've been working non-stop over some drug trades going on. One's that have been going on for a while underground and ones that have gotten good people killed. I haven't had the time to focus on us even though our fight has been in my head all week and I've been shitting myself over talking about it because I don't want to lose you! I couldn't imagine life without you, Y/N and I feel like an ass for treating you how I did last time we spoke! But I haven't been able to tell you that because access to my phone has been slim, and I couldn't-,"

"Hanta?" You stood up gingerly, only speaking up due to the change of Hanta's aura. He had started curt and sharp but slowly tumbled into a more emotional demeanour. The more personal his small speech grew the more it started to affect him, probably the impact of his own thoughts taking their toll. There was even a voice crack at some point, one you'd never heard before. Hanta took a deep breath, bracing himself to speak again.

"It sounds like a lame excuse but it's the truth. I didn't want to say it. But I can't lie to you," He continued. "It's cases like this that have kept me from wanting to go public. B-Because if those people were to figure out who you are because of me...," There was a stifled shake of a breath, Hanta's voice quietening in fear just at the thought. "I wouldn't be able to forgive myself,"

You were speechless. So speechless you weren't even mad anymore. He was finally... finally being vulnerable with you and that seemed to be enough for you to erase all your grudges. Sure, work wasn't an excuse for everything. But in a circumstance like this one - with the job that Hanta lead, you could understand his reasons and in spite of your worry you knew the rules. No mobiles on operations. And finally, he was confiding to you about why he struggled with the thought of announcing your relationship. So in a very reluctant manoeuvre, you plucked up the courage to walk up behind him and wrap your arms around Hanta in a sorrowful hug. Hanta tensed up at first, breath running short, but he didn't push you away. A hopeful sign.

"I'm sorry for making it such a big deal when you had other things to think about," You said, pressing your lips to the back of his shoulder blade and giving the surface a peck. You remained there for a good few, adamant seconds before retracting. "And I'm sorry for never looking at it that way... or considering your feelings on the matter,"

"Y/n it's fine... just...," Hanta seized the opportunity to turn around to face you, running a hand through his ebony locks with one hand as his other slithered around you to return the hug. "I'm sorry I made you doubt me... I feel like shit about it and it wasn't my intention at all,"

"No! No! Don't apologise. It's okay, " You brought a hand to fiddle with the string of his hoodie. As much as it wasn't what you wanted, you had to see Hanta's perspective and understand his feelings too. This was a two-person relationship after all and had you known his feelings ran that deep, you wouldn't have pressed the matter as much as you had. "Look, we don't have to announce anything to anyone okay? If it makes you comfortable and happy then I'm willing to remain a mystery a little longer,"

That returned some colour to his face, almost like Hanta feared you would oppose him even still and the situation would grow for the worse. With a small sigh of relief, he finally allowed a smile to press to his lips. A smile you knew all too well and had missed for a while now.

"Thank you for understanding," Hanta exhaled, pausing as his eyes hovered onto you with an ounce of playful intent. "And I guess we could be a little bit less discreet when we go to the cinema together," You smiled faintly, finally satisfied with the decision you had come up with. Better yet, a compromise. The very thing you had wanted to start with... clearly your concluding thoughts had been premature.

"Thank you... it means a lot,"

"Yeah... I love you," Hanta spoke gently, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

"I love you too," You stood on your tiptoes to lightly peck his lips, Hanta humming softly in approval as he returned the gesture. After a few seconds, you pulled back though, feeling a smile on your face as you did. It was enjoyable to kiss his lips again, another thing you had missed greatly in your week-long deprivation of your boyfriend.

"So, how does some hot cocoa sound? I can imagine you were sat on the balcony for a pretty long time," You pulled away from the hug, but kept hold of Hanta's wrist as you tugged him along with you. Hanta shook a fist in grateful triumph, sighing out in bliss at the offer.

"Oh, I thought you'd never ask! Hot cocoa sounds amazing," He smiled, pausing temporarily before adding on. "But are cuddles on the table too?" You glanced back at him, half expecting the request. But there was no way you were going to say no. You shook your head in amusement before answering.

"I think we're both in desperate need of cuddles, so I think so. Yes,"

"Amen to that,"

#hanta sero #hanta sero x reader #sero x reader #hanta x reader #hanta sero x y/n #hanta sero x you #bnha x reader #mha x reader #my hero academia x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero x reader #bnha sero hanta #bnha #angst #fluff #sero fluff #x reader

124 notes · View notes

monsoonblooms12 · 3 years

Text

Sirimiri (Ethan Ramsey x f!MC)

Summary: Reminisces of their first meet from Ethan's POV. Based on OH Book 1 Chapter 1

Sirimiri: (Spanish) A light drizzle, a fine rain🌧

A/N: This is like a band-aid to the hearts I hurt with the Brydia fic on Sat. This is total fluff and has rains, so I hope this nonsense brings a smile to your faces🤎

A/N 2: The flashback portions are indented

Loads of thanks to the amazing @jamespotterthefirst for pre-reading! Love you🤎

If you enjoyed the story, please like it, leave a comment or reblog. Your feedback keeps me going🤎

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey X f!MC (Dr Pooja Sharma)

Word Count: around 1.8 K

Rating: General

Category: Fluff

Triggers: A few curse words (Just 1 or 2)

Prompts: @choicesaprilchallenge2021 Day 25: Bliss

A soft breeze blew through his dark brown hair as Ethan sat next to the window, reading one of those detective novels Pooja rambled about endlessly.

And, not that he would admit it to her in any way, he liked the storytelling. Pooja had told him that the stories were originally written for teens, so he was doubtful that it would appeal to him.

But the books had been written in a way that captured the attention of the old and young alike, breaking through the barriers of age.

As the rain began the rhythm of serenity in the background, he took the bookmark and placed it on page no. 45 of Incident on the Kalka Mail.

The rain was soft, gentle and refreshing. He envisioned her, sitting on Alex's couch, watching the rain as Alex played with Comet & Jenner. She was always fascinated by the rain, staring endlessly at it, and bearing that one dimpled smile he was a fan of.

He got up, went to the balcony, and leant on the railing. Occasional water droplets fell on his forehead and cheeks, making it an enjoyable experience.

His balcony bore a multi-chromatic view with the brown of the earthen pots, the green of the plantlets, splattered with occasional whites, pinks and blues of the vivid flowers. All of them planted by Pooja when she moved in here.

She bears the love of gardening in her traits, he thought. Ethan was amazed when he went to Panchmarhi for the first time and saw the vibrant garden her father had grown all around their house, making it majestic and serene at the same time.

Pooja came into his life like an unannounced shower of rain. Just like her arrival made his balcony's melancholy monochrome full of hues of colours, her love made his life multi-hued with the colours of emotions, feelings and care. Life was a bliss for every moment she spent with him.

One after the other, doors of memories opened. Memories that no matter how much he had strived to forget, refused to leave him. And at this moment, he was grateful for them. A light chuckle escaped him as he thought,

Their memories were as stubborn as both of them were.

Like pages of an old journal, remembrances presented themselves before him and he got lost in them, in her, as the rain accelerated from a drizzle to a mild downpour. But Ethan didn't leave his spot. He was too drenched in her to care about the rain.

Slowly the last pages of the memoir of his brain took him to the first day of their meet. A distant memory, but yet crystal clear before his blue orbs. Nothing was particularly significant on that day. Just another day of handling cases and dealing with petty interns.

But there was one. One person due to whom that day still stands atop the others in his life.

It really started like any other regular day. After taking Jenner for a walk, feeding him his Purina ProPlan and becoming the recipient of his numerous licks that brightened up his day, he got ready.

Get a Vienna at the Derry Roasters was his mental note for the morning.

The smooth cinnamon-y taste enamoured his taste buds, as he internally groaned at the sudden remembrance of what day it was.

This day, every year, was the one he dreaded the most.

Why? One would ask.

Because it was the day a fresh batch of petty interns came to test his patience.

Ugh. Mental eye roll.

That's why he made sure that he got his favourite coffee from his favourite coffee shop and grab on any last moments of solace before going to face the mad troupe.

The sun dazzled overhead, glaring at everyone under its blanket. Ethan's mind kept fluctuating between the medical cases and the agony of facing new interns. Step by step, he made his pace quicker, hoping to get to his office before any "fans" started pestering him.

Even today Ethan hated interns just as much as he did 3 years ago.

Or, did he? Oh, whom was he kidding?

His mind, still could not comprehend how, a single person, waltzed into his life and had such a profound effect in every sphere of his character, slowly, tactfully carving him into a new man.

A tolerant man.

Who knew how it felt to be loved.

Who knew how to love.

The two days, today and the first of her intern year, were such a stark contrast to each other.

The blazing sun vs. the drumming rain. The coldness of him vs. his warmness today. The frown of that day vs. the smile of today.

Two different worlds, two different times and two different circumstances.

How grateful he was to become the man he was today.

He still remembers the spontaneous name he called her that day.

That one nickname stuck as a token of his feelings all through the years.

Rookie.

When he called her Rookie that day, he meant it.

She was an intern, after all.

"Hey. Rookie. Get in here."

Ethan wasn't paying attention to her. He needed an accomplice and saw her, hence called her.

She had the eyes of a diagnostician, he collected. To notice a mild bruise on the patient on the first day of your residence, that too when you have just arrived is not something many would have been able to do.

He knew from personal experience, that half of them would have been complimenting him when there was goddamn patient to save.

He hated them.

But the first day jitters did get her after all. Her hand trembled with the scalpel in it.

And without much thought, he took it in his.

It was the first and last time he did that with an intern.

How foolish he was, Ethan realizes as he makes himself a cup of hot chocolate.

Nah, not quite as delicious as Poo's, but works.

She was an exception to every one of his rules.

He had made her an exception before even realizing it.

"...Sharma." He scoffed, fury rising through his veins.

Tossing back her ID, he went around, muttering just a single "Arrogant interns" as he heeled back to his office.

The faint mutter of her "What an asshole" had reached him, and he scoffed.

Why are all these interns the same?

He is marking the differences, he thinks.

The differences between how it was then, and how it is now.

The fury of "What an asshole" now subdued to a normal remark she teased him with, ending up in chuckles.

One of the most fascinating incidents, for him, was the Barbara episode.

He had tried being strict, pleasant, stubborn, but nothing, at all, had made her take the meds.

That is, until Pooja came, like the flick of a magic wand, and made her take them.

"What is the blood group of an author?"

"Type-O!"

Memory brightened with the stupid joke she had made with so much enthusiasm made him chuckle.

If there's something that hasn't changed, it's Pooja's sense of humour.

Ethan thought of going out for a walk. A pluvious shower spread a scotch-mist all around, and he thought against it.

Always during monsoons, Pooja made it a point to walk around the city, splashing and dancing in the rain, especially if the rain was a heavy downpour.

It reminded her of the eternal, melodious, torrential cloudbursts that enveloped the hills of Panchmarhi throughout the year.

And Ethan? He would be standing in the very same balcony he was moving towards now, watching her enjoy and feeling her enjoyment reciprocate in himself.

The film roll of reminiscences projected on the misty atmosphere as the vinyl played a harmonious melody of her laughter, the splashes of water and the pitter-patter of the raindrops.

The image is vivid in front of his eyes. He spots the faint dimples on her wet cheeks and his heart dances.

For a moment he forgot that it was just a picture cast by the projector of his encephalon.

Just like he was drenched in the rain, he was drenched in her love.

He had never felt all alive as he does at the moment.

He lets the mist envelop him, just like her memories enveloped his senses.

Relaxing against the cool air refreshing his skin and heart.

"You remembered?", Pooja asks, surprise and curiosity evident in her musical tone.

"Just paying attention." Again that dazzling smile appeared on his face and the dimpled one on hers.

If he had paid attention to his soul that day, he would have sensed the butterflies that erupted in his stomach.

He is still not sure why, or how he remembered her name when he had never made an effort to do so with any other intern, especially on their first day.

It's as if his mind knew that this name would become the jewel of his life, the beauty of his soul, and it stored it, kept it safely between the silken folds of memory.

The thunder crackled and the storm raged. Zeus must be having a good time up there, Ethan scoffed as he hurried indoors.

The thunderstorm was playing a fortissimo orchestra and amidst it, he failed to hear the repetitive chime of his phone on the night stand. It was when he saw the lit screen of the notorious cuboid, that he understood someone phoned.

It was Pooja. With 5 missed calls.

Fuck.

He called her back. It didn't even ring once before he heard her speak from the other side.

Ethan! Oh, God, I was fucking scared. Open the goddamn door!

He mentally smacked himself as he proceeded to the main entryway.

As soon as he heard the click, Jenner pounced up and down. He leapt upon him and licked him all over as Pooja entered, chuckling without a breath.

She loved her boys more than anything.

Once Jenner calmed down, he trotted off to the kitchen in search of any buffets Ethan would have arranged for him.

Pooja locked her arms around Ethan's neck, evidently worried, "Why were you not opening the door, E?"

Ethan brought her close, wrapping his arm around her waist, touching his forehead to her, which he knew would bring an instant calm over her elegant features.

Giving the most ravishing smile Pooja had ever seen, he whispered "Drowned in a certain someone's remembrances."

She gave him a playful wink, "Drowned in love, Dr Ramsey? Oh, What a Misery! My Intern Year Dr Ramsey would never..."

And they both chuckled. Intern Year Dr Ramsey would never.

Placing the most gentle kiss on her forehead, he locked her hand in his,

Let's get something to eat?

PS: Thank you so much for reading my mess and I hope you have a great day ahead🤎

Tags (Please let me know if you would like to be added or removed!): @bbrandy2002 @whimsicallywayward15 @ohramsey @natureblooms24 @nervoussaladsludgeopera @trrfanaddict @hopelessromanticmonie @ilikemenbutonlyethanramsey @lovablegranny @bellcat2010 @gkittylove99 @kingliam2019 @starrystarrytrouble @3riche @chetachisblog @zoehanji @withbeautyandrage @drariellevalentine @mvalentine @aestheticartsx @angela8754 @schnitzelbutterfingers @ao719 @choicesstan1 @neotericthemis @nikki-2406 @anotherbeingsworld @maurine07 @sophxwithers @twinkleallnight @choicesaddict5 @gardeningourmet @mysticaurathings @jessiembruno @stygianflood @aleynareads @choicesbookclub

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

111 notes · View notes

feralnumberfive · 3 years

Text

TUA S3 Song title/lyrics = Episode Name?

For the past two seasons of TUA, there has been a song title/lyrics as an episode name "Run Boy Run" in S1 and "Right Back Where We Started From” in S2. I don’t see why they would stop this in S3 so here are my personal guesses/examinations

1. Meet The family- I simply believe this won’t be it because we’re going to be meeting the Sparrows ❌

2. World’s Biggest Ball of Twine- Weird Al Yankovic has a song called “The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota”

Well, I had two weeks of vacation time coming

After workin' all year down at Big Roy's Heating and Plumbing

So one night, when my family and I were gathered round the dinner table, I said

"Kids... If you could go anywhere in this great big world

Now Where'd you like to go to?"

They said, "Dad, We wanna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota"

They picked the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota

Hmm, two weeks? The Umbrellas just went through about two weeks of trying to stop the end of the world. Of course I don’t think that they would actually go to Minnesota and rather they are traveling around to find somewhere to stay, but this song really fits the vibe of TUA. I also believe that it’s really just going to be an episode about tension, but I say this is a strong contender ✅

Pocket Full of Lightning- I can’t find a song that has this title or features this in the lyrics, and I don’t think they would use “Pocket Full of Sunshine” as a base and substitute it with “Lightning” when they have been using the exact title or lyrics of a song as the name of an episode. Definitely not this one ❌

Kuguelblitz- Nope, no lyrical song title that matches this nor a song that has this word in it (that I can find) ❌

Kindest Cut- “The Kindest Cut” by Ultra Vivid Scene could be a possibility. The lyrics could certainly match someone in TUA, so I say we can slightly consider this one too ✅

“All of My Heart” by ABC matches the vibe of TUA and features the lyrics The kindest cut’s the cruelest part. I can see this being it too ✅

“All That Implies” by Michael Penn includes the lyrics And it might be the kindest cut. I can imagine this song being in TUA, but the lyrics don’t really match something in TUA (but I don’t know what’s going to happen in S3 so who knows). Sure, I’ll consider it ✅

The rest of these episode titles are really just references to something that takes place in TUA and its universe, but I’m still going to try to match songs to them for fun and because you never know

Marigold- There are a handful of songs called “Marigold” but Steve said the title is a reference to something in the UA universe (Marigold is what they refer to the little energy things Reginald spread and gave the 43 kids their powers) I personally don’t believe this will be the song title/lyric episode, but nonetheless here are some songs

“Marigold” by Nirvana- It has the exact same lyrics repeating about a man being there for and being scared of the narrator, who “wants it all.” Could this be Reginald with the 43 children and their powers? Who knows. I think we could slightly consider this one ✅

“Marigold” by The Dane - Nope I don’t think this one would fit because it really doesn’t match the show’s vibe at all (plus it was already used in another popular Netflix show) ❌

“Marigold” by Jelani Aryeh- Some of the lyrics could match to the story, but the song doesn’t exactly fit the vibe of the show. I think we can ever so slightly consider this one ✅

Auf Wiedersehen- There’s a gorgeous song by Vera Lynn called “Auf Wiederseh’n, Sweetheart” that I 100% could see being in TUA. I think out of all of these, this would be the one to be in TUA ✅

“Auf Wiedersehen” by Cheap Trick (thank you @homosexual-having-tea for telling me this one!) I could definitely see this in TUA ✅

Wedding At The End of The World- Yeah no, nothing matches this one ❌

Six Bells- Steve said this name is specific to something that will be happening throughout S3 so I don’t believe this one is a song title/lyrics episode ❌

Oblivion- This is actually the episode name I don’t believe would be a song title/lyrics because it’s the finale, but I’ll still add a few!

“Oblivion” by Bastille is a sad song about trying to follow someone into their own oblivion. Since it’s the season finale, which could be sad, I can possibly see this in TUA ✅

“Oblivion” by Royal Blood is actually a really good match! Just look at these lyrics

Visions of the future, crystal in sight

My personal apocalypse finally arrived

Just a feather in bad weather

Yeah, lost in the wild

Won't live like this forever

Putting my world to rights

Tonight, I ain't stoppin' for nothin'

My devil is done

Into oblivion (Oblivion)

Yeah, I had it comin'

Too close to the sun

Into oblivion (Oblivion)

Somewhere, I lost my way (Oblivion)

Let myself go to waste (Oblivion)

Can't seem to change my fate (Oblivion)

Oblivion, oblivion

“Oblivion” by Shinedown is an awesome rock song that I could imagine the Umbrellas fighting villains that escaped Hotel Oblivion. These are some pretty bangin’ lyrics

I could imagine this as a fight song or the Umbrellas are together trying to reach a goal. Yeah, this could totally be it ✅

Time doesn't erase

Draggin' up all the ways

Temptation's overgrown, looks like we're all alone

This one could possibly work ✅

Can't keep me here in the dark, I set you off like a spark

The demons you don't see, still dancin' in your dreams

Can't shake me down to the bone, I'll turn you back into stone

Into oblivion

So, I personally believe that World’s Biggest Ball of Twine and Auf Wiedersehn would be the safest guesses as to which episode will have a song title/lyrics title. However, we don’t actually know if S3 will continue this trend so these are all purely speculation and my personal theories/opinions. Feel free to add onto this and or share your thoughts!

Into oblivion (into oblivion)

#tua #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #tua s3 #tua season 3 #tua spoilers #tua s3 spoilers #tua soundtrack #tua music

69 notes · View notes

craziestfangirl98 · 3 years

Text

My thoughts on Love, Victor season 2 cause I have too many feelings and I need to talk about it.

Disclaimer No. 1. This has massive Love, Victor season 2 spoilers so pleaseeeee leave if you have not watched it. Also if you do not want to engage with it.

Disclaimer No. 2: This is my opinion on the season so if you don't agree please leave. Don't come for me. I don't mind having proper discussions but I don't want unnecessary arguments so thanks.

There are a lot of unpopular opinions so as I said earlier if you don't want to be respectful, please leave.

I absolutely adoooooooored this season. I think it met its potential quite well and I liked how it panned out. I felt it was brilliantly done. I know a lot of people don't agree with me but I actually saw that it was gonna be an acquired liking but yeah.

THIS POST WILL BE GETTING TO THE MORE MAJOR PARTS OF THE SEASON. MEANING VICTOR, RAHIM, BENJI AND VENJI.

Let's start with individual breakdowns.

Right of the bat we see that this season is gonna deal with Victor with the rest of the world. The first season was very internal and dealt with his own stuff in his own head. We very minutely see his interaction with different people and how that internally affects him. This season was more of how the outward world dealt with him. His intersectionality of being a Queer POC that plays sport really adds to the discussions within the queer community and the sense of being outcasted within the community. I liked how he was able to talk to Andrew about the whole being 'the most non gay gay' and also not being 'gay enough'. It was really nice and I loved that interaction. I also liked the fact that they discussed the whole aspect of being stressed about the first time and such.

I liked the full cabin sequence in terms of his anxiety about having sex for the first time. That too with an experienced gay. It all just makes sense and makes me glad that it was addressed.

I loved him as the 'mentor' for Rahim and the fact that they could relate to each other about being POC with religious parents I think was the exact push needed for the discussions to move forward.

I think his conversation about his queer experience as a POC with Rahim was something I have been waiting for since the first season. He definitely should not have revealed Benji's secrets without talking to him and that was a mistake on his part and something that will affect Venji in a long while. But the fact that Rahim and Victor relied on each other was not surprising.

I am going to address the rest of the aspects of Victor with regards to his relationships with each of them after their individual breakdown.

Now moving forward to Benji.

I know its gonna be a hard truth but I think his character was the one that I liked the least. And this is specific to the fact that his motivations are hidden from us. He is not really open to talk to us (through victor). I had the same problem with him in the first season and was hoping he would be fleshed out more. We only see him as an extension to Victor and just his boyfriend. Even then, we barely see him communicating with Victor or anybody else all through the time. Also, that being said, I have seen a lot of people say he was OOC but I think he was actually not really OOC. The way he reacts to Victor's mom's reactions although they come from a place of wanting better for Victor, he doesn't really think twice about why Victor must not be reacting or doing so subtly. He feels very unsympathetic on many occasions and that is a pattern we see from season 1.

I'm not saying he didn't have any troubles of his. Cause he definitely did. We know that with the drunken driving episode and the AA meetings and the strip club story. They were all awful, but that doesn't excuse him from trying to understand where Victor is coming from. Maybe having a little more context and communication about him would make us understand him and his motivations better.

This season specifically, I actually found him to be very token-ish of a gay guy which is weird because it has two other gay characters (or 5 based on the multiple cameos).

Now getting to Rahim.

I LOVED HIM. He is, I think right behind Victor in my heart. I fell in love with him barely minutes into the episode. His coming out retelling was the most wholesome of all things. I loved the friendship Pilar and him shared. I'm surprised we didn't get a scene with Pilar teasing him about his crush on Victor but I think that was because the writers didn't want to make it obvious. I felt he had a character of his own that was explored more than just coming in between the main couple. The one episode where they skip school we found out more about him and it was intriguing to say the least.

He is a Muslim gay boy who likes to put nail polish and fashion and believes that his parents will not accept him. It is soo refreshing to see this theory get denied and the parents being completely okay with it. Next, Victor and him have an interesting relationship between the two. When victor needs his mind to be taken off of things or talk to, Rahim does just that and when Rahim needs some advice or just some support Victor does that.

NOW VENJI.....

I think this is again... a little unpopular right now, but... their relationship was not that great this season. And I.... kinda expected that to happen. That is for multiple reasons. They spent 50% of their time making out, 40% of it fighting and 10% communicating. Were they flawed? Absolutely and I get that. They had massive miscommunication problems. Trust issues and everything under the moon. It is to be expected especially cause they are teenagers and they are not mature enough. That being said, flaws are not when you are dismissive of your boyfriend's issues because he doesn't fit your ideal gay stereotype. Flaws are not when you say your boyfriend is too much for you to handle and say something like you are the only one taking care of them. That's manipulation. Flaws are not when you don't realise that the context your boyfriend comes from is very specific to himself and if you want to do better you need to be open to listen to where he is coming from instead of getting offended by him saying you are white when you don't get the specifics. You need to understand that by saying you are white, he is not dismissing your experience with alcohol addiction and with your father taking you to strip clubs and shit. He is just saying you don't get where I am coming from. The reason I say I saw it coming is because even in season 1 we see Benji go ahead with what he wants to do instead of thinking about the consequences. Case in point the kiss on Victor's birthday. Victor told Benji that his grandparents are homophobic and still he kisses Derek. Because it is fiction and a teen drama the consequences weren't dire and it came to be a growth point for Victor but just imagine if the consequences were different. If it ended up being something worse, what then. I feel this season we are especially able to see Benji out of the rose tinted glasses that Victor had last season.

That being said I admit that Victor was also not entirely good. He did breach Benji's trust. I don't see how they can go back from there. He didn't communicate from his side as well, but just think of it like this if someone says you are too much to handle would their partner actually be willing to communicate what's bothering them?

The things about Isabelle walking on sex. If it was my house anything remotely sexual, irrespective of the gender would have been met with shame and anger just as Isabelle did. They are 16. The little brother was right next door. In any way whether it is straight sex or gay sex it would still have been met this way I feel.

So yeah as much as they are supposed to be the main star couple of the show they lack in almost every aspect. So yeah...

Now coming to VICTOR X RAHIM

Straight off the bat, I don't know if I watched the same season that others did because I actually felt the chemistry between them was actually more than Venji had in scenes other than the make out ones.

Also, they come from similar backgrounds. They understand each other much better than any white dude could ever understand them. They actually talk and communicate.

Rahim and Victor on the other hand are both new to this whole being gay, out and proud thing and I feel they would understand each other better. I think a big problem people have with them is that the writers fall back on the love triangle trope and stuff but I like it in this instance. It made sense to me.

Why? Because they are teenagers. Also, the gay pool in schools are so small and people are bound to explore. Like Victor said, what are the odds that you end up with the first person you start dating?

Also, regarding the wedding. Benji said he would not come, so I don't think he has the right to question who he came with. It was completely innocent on Victor's part because he did invite Pilar first. I guess it is the whole first slow dance that was the betrayal and as much as their chemistry was palpable I feel Benji should have allowed to here him out. I don't know maybe you all feel different about it but I feel that is not a betrayal on Victor's part. What could have been a betrayal was the kiss. I know it is once again a repeat of the cheating stereotype and I had hoped that the showrunner's did it a bit differently but well it has happened. (But again the chemistry in that kiss!!!)

What do I want to happen next. I definitely ship Victor x Rahim more than Victor x Benji. I would love for it to be Rahim behind the door but it feels unlikely that the showrunners will actually do that so my hope is even if they get together, Benji and Victor realise just how much they don't fit with each other and break up amicably and then Victor x Rahim gets explored and slow burn happens.

I don't want Victor to be the only one apologising if Venji do get together again. For whatever small amount of time. I need them to communicate better.

So yeah..... this was long and what I thought of the main portions of Love, Victor. It's really ironic how people love everyone other than Victor in a story about him and care for all the stories other than him.

#love victor #love victor season 2 #rahim love victor #victor salazar #not gonna tag Benji cause I am not too forgiving on him #can you tell author loves rahim?#and victor #and especially loves them together?#Victor x Rahim #we need to come up with an appropriate ship name for them #Vichim? Rator? I don't know just something!#Anywho... Another one coming up sometime about the friends and family #kayblyeeee #first post in ages

51 notes · View notes

huayno · 3 years

Photo

from neon genesis evangelion, vol. 12

The Mysterious Stranger

The Anime, the Manga, and the Mark Twain Novella

"God will provide for this kitten." "What makes you think so?" Ursula's eyes snapped with anger. "Because I know it!" she said. "Not a sparrow falls to the ground without His seeing it." "But it falls, just the same. What good is seeing it fall?"

—from The Mysterious Stranger

There is a short novel by Mark Twain, written near the end of his life and published posthumously, entitled The Mysterious Stranger. The tale is set in a small village in 16th century Austria, where three boys one day meet a young man different from themselves: "he had new and good clothes on, and was handsome and had a winning face and a pleasant voice, and was easy and graceful and unembarrassed, not slouchy and awkward and diffident, like other boys."

The mysterious stranger starts to do small but amazing tricks for them—causing water to turn to ice; conjuring grapes and bread out of air; even making birds that can fly out of clay. At last one boy, the story's narrator, works up the courage to ask the stranger who he is:

"'An angel,' he said, quite simply, and set another bird free and clapped his hands and made it flyaway."

The angel then proceeds to really impress them by making an entire toy castle, complete with five hundred miniature soldiers and workmen that move around by themselves. Naturally the boys get involved with this ultimate playset, making their own knights and cannon and cavalry, and although they get rather nervous again when the angel reveals his name is Satan, he assures them he is not that Satan, but only named after the fallen one.

"We others are still ignorant of sin; we are not able to commit it; we are without blemish, and we shall abide in that estate always." Distracted by two of the miniature workmen, "Satan reached out his hand and crushed the life out of them with his fingers... and went on talking where he had left off: 'We cannot do wrong; neither have we any disposition to do it, for we do not know what it is." Horrified as the other boys are, "he made us drunk with the joy of being with him and of looking into the heaven of his eyes, and of feeling the ecstasy that thrilled along our veins from the touch of his hand.'"

Yes, Kaworu Nagisa made quite an impression on the fans of Neon Genesis Evange/ion, despite the fact that, in the original broadcast version of the TV show (before it got all director's-cutted, box-setted, special-editioned, and platinum-lined) he shows up for only slightly less than thirteen minutes of total screen time, the climax of which being an entire minute where nothing happens at all.

That's what being a beautiful angel will do for you, especially when you make the most of your thirteen minutes on Earth by having a Whirlwind romance with the main character that ends in a lover's quarrel with Prog Knives and finally a voluntary martyrdom at the hand of your boy here. Relationships don't come any more tragic than that of Kaworu Nagisa and Shinji Ikari, and when fans (including this one) first saw it on TV, the affair was so brief and shocking the story logic of it didn't click in until much later.

In the anime, Kaworu is acknowledged as the Final Messenger, and, of all the Angels Shinji has to fight, this is the most ruthless battle, won at the highest possible cost to himself. It took even longer for me to realize that the showdown in episode 24 had also taken us full circle from Shinji's first fight in episodes 1 and 2, which emphasized his personal helplessness against the looming Angel Sachiel. Against Kaworu, it is the Angel who becomes the small, helpless figure, while Shinji is represented only by the gargantuan, frightful helm and arm of his Eva Unit-O1. We never see Shinji's human face once throughout the whole final minute of decision.

So as Col. Trautman would have said instead of Major Katsuragi, "It's over, Shinji! IT'S OVER!" Kaworu v. Shinji (or Kaworu x Shinji, in the doujinshi) was the big final showdown between humanity and the Angels. And with the outcome leaving Shinji at his most wretched ever, wouldn't it be nice if everyone just died—your wish being Eva's command, as it turns out that fortunately humanity hardly ever needed the Angels to slaughter itself.

"I am perishing already—I am failing—I am passing away. In a little while you will be alone in shoreless space, to wander its limitless solitudes without friend or comrade forever...But I, your poor servant, have revealed you to yourself and set you free. Dream other dreams, and better!"

—from The Mysterious Stranger

Satan's words near the end of Mark Twain's story also uncannily prefigure the end of the world and the Instrumentality project, both of which follow his death in the TV show in such quick order you picture Anno as a hairnetted fry cook dinging the counter bell. By now you see Sadamoto's handling of Kaworu, and perhaps nothing illustrates the different experiences of the manga and the anime better than his handling of this critical character.

No longer the last Angel to be fought, Kaworu actually becomes an active Eva pilot and fights an Angel—the dude even has the nerve to observe the fight is fixed, based on his knowledge of SEELE's prophecies. Sadamoto of course introduces him at an earlier point in the narrative—at the equivalent of episode 19's end—and then sends him to NERV near the equivalent of episode 22's beginning—before certain important events, to put it mildly, can occur. When one notes this kind of thing, of course, it's important to restate that the Evangelion manga has always been a separate but equal "official" version of Eva, with no particular obligation to align itself with the anime, and indeed it was with Book Five, the first released after The End of Evangelion, that Sadamoto began to truly seem free to go in his own direction.

Nevertheless, as the "other" official version of the Eva story, it is reasonable for fans to view it as an "alternate history" relative to the anime, and the way Kaworu has been introduced makes us realize the manga may end very differently indeed. Despite the fact we know here that Kaworu is an Angel from the very beginning, he appears destined to at least hang around long enough to pick up a few paychecks. It's not clear when your health benefits kick in at NERV, although if Ritsuko is your primary caregiver it might be best to forego them.

Sadamoto's remarks upon visiting the U.S. in 2003 indicated that the Eva manga might (might) be planned as a twelve-volume series in all. There is still plenty of room for speculation, as the slow working pace to which the artist himself often refers has of late become almost relativistic—as of this writing, it has been eight months since Sadamoto has drawn a new installment of Eva in Japan, and hence a Volume Ten is nowhere in sight. It may be small comfort, but those of you reading this are pretty much in the same drifting boat as the Japanese fans.

"An angel's love is sublime, adorable, divine, beyond the imagination of man—infinitely beyond it! But it is limited to his own august order. If it fell upon one of your race for only an instant, it would consume its object to ashes. No, we cannot love men but we can be harmlessly indifferent to them; we can also like them, sometimes."

—from The Mysterious Stranger

And with Book Nine we see the most staggering difference thus far between the manga and the anime; Sadamoto's Shinji doesn't even like Kaworu, much less love him. Of course, you could say the less-ethereal Kaworu of the manga is harder to love. I can't believe Sadamoto had him tell Rei he thought she'd be "heftier." And yet he did.

I don't think any A.T. Fields actually got penetrated in the anime; while I do think Shinji felt sexually attracted to Kaworu, and that you the audience are supposed to feel that he felt it, what Kaworu himself thought was a very different matter. Like Rei, I believe Kaworu to be innocent—coyly, he appears not to be so, because while Rei needed to be reached out to, Kaworu has come to reach out; whereas Rei has spent her existence being observed; Kaworu has come to observe.

Indeed, in the manga, Shinji's irritation about Kaworu's invasion of his personal space seems almost a parody of his attitude in the anime. In the TV show, when Kaworu put his hand on Shinji's, he flinched but did not pull away; whereas in the manga it's easy to imagine Shinji slugging him. Instead he goes to run after Rei, hoping to get closer to her again.

I hardly think the change reflects any phobia on Sadamoto's part (after all, we even get to see Shinji's "Unit One" in the manga), but the fact the manga Shinji is less emotionally bleak and empty, and hence less vulnerable. Shinji's just as negative in the manga, of course, but it's an active variety, rather than the passive negative creep (in the best Nirvana song sense) we know from the anime. We don't have to imagine him slugging Gendo; from the look of surprise on Dad's face in Book Seven he would have smacked the beard off his face if Kaji hadn't stopped him.

Neither is Shinji in a positive emotional situation where we leave him here, either; indeed at this point in the manga there's arguably no one he can turn to—the more brutal fate that befell Toji has cut him off from his school friends, Rei has become hesitant, Kaji is dead, and his perennial self-esteem booster Asuka is going to need to rebuild her internal supply before she can even get back to calling him a loser and idiot.

So, like Misato trying to put her own hand on Shinji's, all I can do for now while we wait for Sadamoto-sensei is to recommend for your winter vacation reading list The Mysterious Stranger, which I can almost guarantee will give you new angles to think about Kaworu, and may even earn you class credit besides. A quick look at the novel's comments on Amazon list a teacher who says fundamentalist students walked out of his class when he taught it; another compares it to The Matrix; those who dislike it call it "sick," "bitter," and "twisted." Sounds like good old Evangelion to me!

—Carl Gustav Horn

[a drawing of Kaworu holding a kitten]

Although The Mysterious Stranger can also be found in a number of print editions, including The Portable Mark Twain from Penguin (haw haw), the story, being from the days when mp3s came on shellacked cylinders, is legally available online at http://etext.lib.virginia.edu/toc/modeng/public/TwaMyst.html. The same site has a book called The Holy Bible, King James Version, which fans of Evangelion might also enjoy, although it's technically "Editor's Choice."

#eva #kaworu nagisa #idec if twain didn't write that shit #i'm all over this

29 notes · View notes