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bimswritings · 3 years

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Games and Prizes

Warning:none

Ships: Reylo/Finnpoe

A server event that I recently took part in, with the prompt I received being carnival for @perry-the-rebelpus! I've never written for in show ships but I loved doing this. It leans more towards fairs since that's what I have more experience with, but never the less, I hope you enjoy! I also took a more modern AU approach as I felt it was the best way to tackle this!-Bim

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“Really Rey, we don’t have to do this.” Kylo tried to convince her for what felt like the thousandth time, and most likely was. Ever since she had discovered he had never been to a fair, she insisted on going, even calling and finding someone to cover her shift at the mechanics. The stubborn girl wouldn't have it though, ignoring his protest as she hopped off the motorcycle, grabbing the helmet from his hands and tossing it along with her own under the seat.

“Nonsense. Carnivals are an important part of growing up.” Her hand interlocked with his own, guiding him in the same direction as the crowd that was steadily streaming in. Ranging from families with excited and energetic children, to young couples such as themselves. “There was one that came through town every year when I was a kid. My parents always took me for a special treat at the end of the harvest.”

Rey’s eyes took on a softer, more distant look. One that Kylo knew all too well. It was the same one he got when talking about his own family, feelings of both sorrow and yearning for better times. Times that, despite how much they both may want to, they can’t go back to.

He lifted their intertwined hand, bringing Rey’s attention back to the present as he placed a light kiss to her knuckles. A small smile curved her lips, and they continued on to the increasingly bright lights of the carnival, the setting sun only highlighting their peaks further.

Once inside, they were quick to buy their wristbands for the rides, Rey practically bouncing with excitement the entire time in line. As soon as the offending neon green bands were in place she was pulling him towards the rides, her eyes bouncing between each one.

“Oh, let’s go on that one!” She pointed towards what could only be described as a giant wheel. It was as if a ferris wheel had been taken and laid down on its side, with the seats all inverted and its spinning capabilities dialed up a thousand.

“I’m not sure. Those seat belts don’t look like they would do a very good job of keeping me from flying off.” He eyed the offending items warily, to which Rey simply rolled her eyes as she pulled him into line.

“Children go on it and live. I think you’ll be fine Mr. ‘Tall and Brooding’.”

It didn’t take long for their turn to arrive, and it seemed like only in the blink of an eye were they strapping into the seats, the ride operator barely giving the belts a tug before moving to his operating booth in the center. With the press of a button the ride was whirring to life, slowly picking up speed until they were all but plastered to the side of the ride. The seats they were strapped to began moving up slightly, and it was only now that he noticed they were on rails that allowed them to move up and down with the increased G-force.

The pressure pushed his face back, though nothing he wasn’t used to. It was hard to focus on the ride with Rey beside him however. Her laughter spilled above the loud whirring of the ride and excited and terrified yells of the other riders. It was something he would never get used to, with how carefree and joyful it always sounded. Something he would always strive to hear as often as he could. Nothing could compare to the gut churning reaction he had when he heard it, though the sight of her stumbling, off balance and clearly still slightly disoriented, as they got off the ride came in a close second. It did nothing to deter her, still smiling as she pulled him to the next ride.

On and on they went, ride after ride all evening. It was only after she had proceeded to destroy him in bumper cars time after time that he suggested they go and get food.

“We can ride a bit longer!” Rey had tried to protest, not content to take a break until they had ridden all the rides at least twice. It was the first time she had been able to go to such an event ever since her parents had passed, and she was determined to make the most of it, even if she went a little hungry. Her stomach seemed to have other plans however, cutting her off in the middle of her protest with a loud growl of its own. Her cheeks flushed as Kylo chuckled, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and steering her towards the vendors. All night the smell of the overpriced and greasy food had been tempting him, though he dared not to eat any of the potential nauseating treats while Rey was still determined to ride so many things that spun.

After paying for a slice of pizza each, as well as an almost comically large elephant ear to split afterwards, they settled down on one of the far tables away from all the action.

“Thank you.” Rey spoke, finally breaking the comfortable silence that had developed as they watched others pass by. He cocked his head slightly to the side, confused and prompting her to clarify further.

“For agreeing to come, I mean. I know places like this aren’t really your style.” She grew suddenly shy, finding her fingers more interesting than anything else at the moment. Her nails nervously picked at one another, though there was nothing much to pick at. Years of working at the mechanics had left them short and cracked in places, much tougher than you would think for the rest of her looking so soft. Yet her hands were one of his favorite things. Hands that held his own softly, as if they weren’t the hands of a man who had killed dozens; that would softly card through his locks while absentmindedly laying on the couch. Hands that would hold his face close, brushing over each scar tenderly as she whispered soothing words for minutes, hours. As long as it took.

He thought her hands were the most beautiful things in the world, both then and now, as he took them in his own.

“For you, I would go anywhere.” He leaned in closer, locking games as he lightly pressed his forehead to hers. She was warm, her skin almost burning in contrast to the cool night air. Though it was anybody's guess how much it was due to her body temperature, and how much was caused by the quickly rising blush that consumed her face. “Especially if I could see you as happy as I have today.”

“You two really need to get a room.”

The third voice took them both by surprise, so wrapped up with one another that they hadn’t even noticed their audience, and in his surprise Kylo jolted forward, bashing his skull against Rey’s before falling backwards off the bench and landing painfully on his tailbone.

“Finn!” He heard her joyous shout. Propping himself up on his elbows, he spotted the named man, who was currently receiving a hug from his girlfriend, as well as Finn’s own boyfriend.

“Dameron.” He nodded, climbing to his feet as the man returned the gesture silently.

It wasn’t that they didn’t like one another, quite the opposite actually. They held nothing but respect for each other, both having spent time in the air force. The only rift came from the fact that Kylo had run more covert missions, often flying solo or with just a single partner, while Poe was in charge of and flew an entire squadron. He thought of him as more of a mercenary, while Kylo would consider his potential wasted on such general missions. Still, the greatest offense in his eyes was still the fact that he had chosen to date someone from the marines. The marines. Of all the branches, he had to choose someone from the one known for shooting first and asking questions never. The two might have never seen each other after serving, yet fate had other plans; of which being in the form of their respective partners having been best friends through high school and college. They had only met again by chance after moving to the same small town in hopes of living a quiet, simple life.

“I should have known you guys would be here. You’re never one to miss a fair.” Rey continued, moving back around the table to sit next to Kylo once again, who was still rubbing at the sore spot on his head, briefly wondering what her bones could possibly be made of to have not even flinched at such a hit.

“Maybe if we told you, we wouldn’t have to be subjugated to your nauseating sweetness.” Poe teased, leaning across the table while Finn rolled his eyes. “I have to say, I’m disappointed in you Ren. There’s children around here you know.’’

Kylo said nothing, only gathering their trash and standing, the rest following in suit as he spoke.

“Well, it was nice seeing you again, but we were about to continue our date night and-”

“You guys should join us!” Rey cut in, taking him by surprise. Even if it was her best friend, she was never really one for group outings, preferring just one or two other people.

“It would be just like old times!” Finn agreed.

Kylo was about to protest, and from the way Poe had opened his mouth he was too, but before either male could get a word out the two had already linked arms and were strolling away, deeping in conversation and leaving their dates forgotten. So, begrudgingly, the two men followed.

By this point night had fully set in and the activities of the fair were in full swing. Brightly colored tents lined the venue, creating makeshift paths that helped to funnel the large number of people into a form of organization. It seemed that Rey had had her fill of rides, as she and Finn continued on deeper into the games and shows section that ran along the outside. Here, vendors yelled and mocked, teased and prodded; anything they could do to get the attention of the passersby. Games of skill, strength, and pure luck, though anyone with half a brain knew that the majority were all rigid. Above and lining all the booths were more stuffed animals than Kylo had ever seen in his life, and though some of them he found creepy and downright ugly, he could see the appeal of some.

“Hey Rey! Look!” Finn pointed to one of the stalls, highlighting a create he had never seen before. It looked like a penguin, except the eyes were far too large, and it lacked a beak as well as the stark black and white of the animal in favor of more neutral tones.

The two were at the booth in a flash, the vendor already talking to them as Kylo and Poe caught up. Just from the looks of the man, Kylo immediately didn’t like him. He had spent enough time around others to be able to get an accurate read on them, and this guy had the same shifty, fox eyed look to him that all new recruits who were too big for their breeches had.

“Well hello there.” He leaned in, far too close for Kylo’s liking, and he felt himself tense, his pace quickening to reach them as the man continued his speel.

“Feel like testing your luck against the mysterious and dangerous kraken to free one of its victims.” He gestured to the creatures above.

Rey was immediately digging in her bag, looking for her wallet with Finn doing the same beside her. Before she could get too far however, he was there. Stepping between her and the booth, he pulled his wallet and slapped the five dollars on the counter. Poe did the same next to him.

The vendor collected the money with one fell swoop, tossing two balls onto the counter for them to load at the suction cup guns laying there. He did so with ease, the object feeling almost childishly small and fragile in his hands as he raised it to the target; a kraken shaped cutout a number of feet away. A spiralled target rests dead center in the middle of its forehead.

He fell into proper shooting position naturally, bringing the poor excuse of a sight to eye level as his arms locked.

‘Pop’ ‘Pop’

A jolt traveled through his body. Not because the dinky little object had any form of recoil, but because of how far he had missed the mark. The ball had barely even glanced the side of the creature, and from the look Poe had he had missed just as badly.

He shook it off, ignoring the amusement he felt coming from the two beside him and blaming it on the simple differences of the object from what he was used to. Of course it wouldn’t fire like a normal gun. Expecting the accuracy to be anything more than lacking would be stupid of him. Now that he knew just how off it was, he could adjust accordingly. Both paying for another round, the shooters were loaded and aimed in seconds. Going of where it hit last time, he raised the end a bit and brought it slightly to the right.

‘Pop’ ‘Pop’

They fired again, and again they missed.

“Oh, too bad my friends. I guess you’re not as skilled as your little dates thought you were.” The vendor taunted, sending a wink Rey’s way.

Feeling anger quickly starting to rise within him, there was no way Kylo was about to give up now. He paid another five, giving him another ball.

Then another.

And another.

Several minutes and thirty dollars later he was nowhere closer to winning, his shots, instead of coming closer, were going more and more astray from the target. With each miss his anger rose, and Poe was doing no better beside him.

“For the love of-”

“Ah ah~ Watch your language.” The vendor smirked, only making his temper worse. “There’s children around here after all. What example would you be giving them if you showed how much of a sore loser you were.”

Kylo genuinely thought he was going to hop over the booth and wipe the smug smirk from his face. A gentle hand brought his attention as Rey gently pried the shooter from his grip, a concerned smile on her face.

“Hey, let me have a shot at it.” He hesitated, not wanting her to feel the same discouragement and embarrassment he currently was. The look in her eye stopped him short. It was the same look she had whenever she was working at the shop or on his car at home. A look of utter confidence in what she was doing.

The three men stared at the two friends in astonishment as they high five, already moving on to picking out which of the stuffed creatures they wanted.ly the same position he had been in early, evidently having taken Poe’s place as well. The vendor leaned in closer, Rey clearly doing her best to ignore him as she focused on the target.

“Now sweetheart, what you’re going to want to do is-”

The familiar simultaneous pop of the ball leaving the suctioned end sounded, just as it had with his previously. Unlike their attempts however, instead of silence the pops were answered with the sound of a loud buzzer and the muted cry of the kraken as its eyes lit up red.

The three men stared at the two friends in astonishment as they high fived, already moving on to picking out which of the stuffed creatures they wanted.

“The one in the very back! He looks the softest!” Rey exclaimed, pointing. There was nothing left for the vendor to do but grumble as he grabbed the creature, along with Finn’s choice. All but tossing the animals he was quick to shoo them away, his persona turning from sour to cheerful on a dime as he lured the next group in to the nearly impossible game.

“I just don’t understand.” Poe shook his head in disbelief. Finn gave him a comforting squeeze.

“Rey and I grew up with these games every year. We’re practically professionals.”

“Yeah.” She nodded from under Kylo’s arm, which was thrown around her shoulder. “The vendors hated us. We nearly got banned the one year when we were going around seeing how many we could win before they closed.” They both laughed at the memory, leaving their boyfriends to simply shake their heads.

By now it had grown late, the group foregoing to visit any of the barns due to Poe’s hay allergy. They could always come back tomorrow. After walking the other couple to their car, they made their way back to their Rey’s ride. After pulling the helmets from under the seat, Kylo was surprised when Rey tossed the stuffed animal to him.

“Here.”

His brows furrowed questioningly as he glanced back between her and the creature.

“Are you...are you giving this to me?”

She nodded, slipping on her jacket to protect her from the wind.

“But you were so excited for it.”

“You said that you’ve never been to a fair before, so I assume that you’ve never gotten one of the ridiculously large stuffed animals from one.” She spoke, turning to him. “It’ll be a nice way to mark the occasion. Besides,” she smirked, moving to pull her helmet on. “,it's not like we don’t share a bed anyways. He’ll be there no matter what.”

With that she pulled on her helmet, tilting her head cheekily before tossing her leg over the bike. He climbed on after, his chest feeling lighter than it had all week as he wrapped his arms around her waist. The stuffed animal was sandwiched safely in between them, ready for the journey home.

There was no one more perfect for him, and he reminisced on the fact as the bike roared to life underneath him. He could already picture the stuffed animal and how ridiculous it would look in their otherwise modern styled and well kept room. Normally all the small trinkets and knick knacks Rey would bring home were restricted to her hobby room, him not being able to handle the clutter they created. This however? This would fit perfectly in their room.

She still had to be the one to name it though.

#star wars #star wars fanfiction #reylo fanfic #reylo #finpo #finnpoe #poe dameron #finn x poe #kylo ren #rey x kylo ren #rey skywalker #star wars modern au #modern star wars #ben solo

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clonehub · 3 years

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I read some of your more recent posts on the topic, and wanted to ask: what do the terms "proship" and "antiship" mean to you? Half the discourse is from what these two mean, as like every nebulous internet term, multiple definitions exist. "We're trying to prevent the return of all the censorship that targeted queer circles in the name of "the children!" or "We're trying to make people aware fiction does affect reality via one's subconscious bias!" Just wanna prevent any future misunderstanding

in general anon, a "pro ship" is someone who allows any and all kinds of ships in the name of personal enjoyment and "it's fiction it's not real". the censorship thing is secondary because they'd know that most of the censorship that goes on today is from a government or other hegemonic system against an oppressed class, i.e. racial equality groups, gender equality groups, queerness or other things being taken out of media, etc. so like being called a freak on twitter (and with a notable lack of actual action against the proshipper) is not censorship.

An "anti" is a bit more broad as a term cause simply not liking a ship can get one labeled an anti. There's no limit, maximum or minimum, to the number of ships one opposes that'll get them labeled an "anti" by a proship. So back before these words existed, me being only aware of Rexsoka as a ship and being against that would have gotten me labeled an anti. Someone could be pro every ship in the world but Rexsoka and still be labeled an "anti". I dont use anti and I dont label myself one.

Proships do jump to censorship/thinly veiled "freedom of speech!" arguments when they encounter anything they deem "anti behavior", although that censorship comes in the form of (perhaps) finnpoe not being canon and poe being forced into a weird romantic history with that lady in tros. Shipping what is, by definition, a pedophilic relationship does not combat censorship.

antis are too broad and varied as a group to really pin down a set philosophy other than "stop jacking it to things that are pedohphilic and/or straight up bigotry". Proships insist its not any of those because it's fiction (which? lol). I use the following logic:

- You could ship Finn and Poe. That is a gay couple. The word "Gay" might not exist in star wars, but it applies despite finnpoe being fictional.

- you could ship finnrey. That is a hetereosexual interracial couple. The above is also an interracial couple. Nobody denies that the characters are different ethnicities despite star wars not being real.

- you could ship Yoda and Jar Jar. Nobody denies that that's interspecies and also an age gap. In fact, proships will tag all of the above with the relevant tag (gay, agegap, etc)

- God forbid you use this logic to point out that a ship is pedophilic. They jump from its just fiction to "that doesn't make me a bad person because i'd never act on it" (even though we know that actions are not the only determiners of being a good person, and also like closet fucked up people exist and socially they are shunned)

Sorry to turn this into an essay anon, but I really have no patience for them and this started out as a mostly neutral "definition" on what proship and anti mean.

#ask #psa #essays #ask to tag #but also they insist that what they're saying/doing isn't wrong at all #which is funny because fandom is mainstream enough that you can talk about it out loud #and you can definitely talk about all the things people want to see in a show #if you say ''yeah there's fans of this show that ive seen who draw that 12 year old girl getting abused/raped etc'' or #''there's fans who want X proship thing to happen'' people definitely say they're fucked up #and u get the general dark fic readers who keep talking past ''antis''#cause lots of people actually like conflict or not super happy things but the way they go about it is what sets people off lmao

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primasveraas-writing · 3 years

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Finnpoe Modern AU- Single Dad!Poe- PART 3

AHH here it is!! I’m really happy with how it turned out; thank you again to the darling Eliane who sparked the orginal idea. The brunt of the story is done, but I hope (and suspect) that I will be returning to this AU soon, in the form of more headcanons or one shots.

I hope you enjoy! All requests are currently open.

Part One l Part Two l Part Three

XXX

Poe buys Finn a drink

...then Finn buys Poe a drink, then Poe buys them both drinks because Finn is on a teacher’s salary and the only gay bar within a reasonable distance gets away with overpriced beer

Poe learns rather quickly that Finn is more than just an incredibly attractive teacher who’s good with his son- Finn is also shy, and humble. Kind and honest. Slightly giggly when tipsy and rather close in proximity after 3 beers

There comes a point when Poe’s chest aches from laughing and he almost puts his hand on Finn’s knee- he almost leans in- then he remembers himself

Buying his son’s teacher a beer is fine- he likes Finn and so does BB

Kissing his son’s teacher is an entirely separate matter

Poe clears his throat abruptly, and he can feel the heat rushing to his already-warm cheeks as he straightens, pulling away from the other man

Finn pulls back too, a split second of hurt flashing across his face

“I’m sorry,” Poe says thickly, wondering how quickly he can flee the scene without seeming like a total ass, and Finn shakes his head

“Don’t worry about it,” Finn says, unable to fully meet Poe’s eyes. “I should probably get back to Rey, anyways”

Finn stands, and Poe blurts out “it was good to talk with you-” before he can think any of it through

Finn stops, turning back to look at him. He smiles, briefly, then says: “it was”

Poe is still sitting at the bar when Rey and Finn leave

Poe pretends he’s not watching them go

The upside to the next day is that his hangover is very mild, and that BB waits until 7am to wake him up instead of jumping into Poe’s bed at his usual 6am

Small blessings, even on a Saturday

They have a good day, and Poe is able to bury all his worries and regrets about Finn until BB does his homework

(he has to color in a hand turkey and he and Poe are both covered in glitter and ink by the end of it)

But the craft is enough for BB to start talking about school, which he does, pieces of glitter falling to the floor one by one as he signs

We do lots of art in Luke’s class and Finn helps me. He is nice and he brings in candy sometimes. He never rushes me or worries like Mr. C does and he is learning ASL very fast and sometimes he lets us stay out for recess for an extra three minutes and he will push us on the tire swing-

So Poe adds to his list of the way he can describe Finn- adored by his son. Generous. A total sucker for cute kids. Endlessly patient, a quick learner, a sweet tooth… off-limits.

What does he know about Finn, from a few hours of talking and stories from his son? Is it enough to justify his pining?

It doesn’t matter, in the end. At best, he and Finn are friends, and Poe has only BB’s best interests in mind- everything else is secondary to his son

The guilt and ache fade, for the most part. He sees Finn here and there, and the two men keep it friendly and brief

At parent-teacher conferences, Finn barely looks at Poe

It stings in the fall, but even that wound has healed when spring comes. Finn is still removed, a little less open, but he manages a small smile when Poe catches his gaze during the last conference that year

Summer arrives, and Poe has almost stopped dreaming of kissing Finn entirely

There’s a small celebration to celebrate the end of the school year, hosted by one of the PTA moms

BB takes off with some of the kids immediately, leaving Poe to his own devices

He’s half-heartedly participating in a discussion about gluten-free sugar cookies with some of the parents while watching BB chase his friends around the yard

He feels a light touch on his arm and turns to see Finn standing there, smiling

“I wanted to tell you what a delight it was to teach BB this year,” Finn says, “and that I’m sorry I won’t have longer with him.”

Poe starts, brow furrowing in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“I’m teaching preschool next year,” Finn says, looking down at his feet before glancing up at Poe again. “I originally applied to work with younger kids, but they didn’t have an opening until next fall.”

“So you’re not teaching BB anymore?” Finn shakes his head. “He’ll be devastated.”

Finn frowns, sadness filling his eyes, but Poe nudges him with his elbow, grinning softly

“I’m happy for you Finn, really. BB loved working with you.”

“I loved it too.” Finn is quiet, serious, and his voice falters before Finn goes silent. He blinks rapidly, and Poe realizes just how much Finn cares about his students

“We’ll have to have you over for dinner. To thank you.”

Finn’s eyes widen, wetness replaced with a brilliant spark. His mouth opens, then there’s the unmistakable sound of children colliding, a solid thud followed by squeals, giggles, and shouts

Poe sighs, looking around for BB, despite knowing in his heart of hearts that BB is almost always involved in whatever shenanigans are happening

“I should go.” Poe rests his hand on Finn’s arm. “We’ll work out a date later,” he says, winking before he turns around to chase after his son

When the time comes, BB is excited as Poe is nervous- he insists on helping with the cooking, which slows things significantly, if only because Poe has to sign each recipe and he runs circles around the small kitchen hovering over his son

BB has little regard for things like measurements or cation around a hot stove- about halfway through cooking the pasta needed for an old family recipe, BB tries to grab a noodle out of the boiling pot

Poe pulls his hand back just in time, rambling warnings and curses in Spanish and signing his worries and reliefs rapidly in ASL

BB stares up at him innocently, and Poe melts

He also puts his son on his back, so Poe finishes the cooking with a seven-year-old pointing where to go and what to do

They both have to squeeze in a shower before Finn arrives, as they’re each covered in sweat and sauce and flour

(Poe finds a bit of salsa behind BB’s ear as he towels his son off, and he sighs)

Poe is dressing when the door rings. First, he hears BB tearing down the hall, his feet thundering, then the door opening- Poe follows his son, finishing the last buttons on his shirt, then Finn is in his living room, BB tugging on his hand to bring Finn into the apartment

“Hi,” Finn says, kneeling down to hug BB

“Hi,” Poe says, and his heart flutters like it did a year ago, when he saw Finn for the very first time

It progresses from there because BB loves Finn, and Poe believes in love at first sight, even if he can’t admit it yet

(He loves Finn too)

Dinners with Luke, Leia, and Finn resume, in addition to meals whenever BB demands that Finn eat with them

(It’s been too long, Dad, BB will say. You and Finn are lonely without each other)

Poe doesn’t know how much he can disagree with his son, partly because BB is largely right, and partly because BB has Poe wrapped around his finger

Even so, it’s nearly a month before Poe asks Finn out properly, with no children or bosses to accompany them

Finn accepts in an instant

Dating Finn is nice- for one, he fits into Poe’s life easily- but he also validates the months Poe spent dreaming of the impossible scenario where he and Finn could finally be together, because dating Finn is better than Poe ever imagined

Finn is funny, more sarcastic than Poe had realized, direct and curious and teasing. Deeply loving and loyal and defensive and stubborn, and also a good kisser, with perpetually warm hands that always find their way into Poe’s grip

That summer is glorious, and none of them- Poe, nor BB, nor Finn- want it to end. It is the beginning of all wonderful things

Poe accepts quickly but with relative uncertainty, that Finn will be Poe’s boyfriend long before he will become one of BB’s caretakers

Finn is good with BB- he speaks ASL and understands his son better than most, and Poe is forever grateful he never had to navigate a wide dating pool as a single father, mostly because he’s certain there’s very, very few people worth bringing home to BB

Even with adjustment periods and the time it takes to figure out how exactly Finn fits into their lives, BB is wildly fond of Finn, who spoils him and makes him laugh

You smile lots when Finn is around BB says one day

Is that good? Poe signs back. Do you like when Finn is around?

Finn makes me happy BB says, and Poe knows that’s all that ever matters

November comes with an with the first snow; BB complains that he misses seeing Finn at school, but he sees Finn every weekend and most weekdays, so he’s satisfied, even if Mr. C is stuffy and old, but nice I guess

They are comfortable together- things are calm, settled into the new school year- and Poe figures he knows what to expect from life with a hyperactive seven year old and a boyfriend he’s hopelessly in love with

What’s unexpected, however, is the call he gets at 3am on a Friday night- or rather, the 6 missed calls, and the one that Poe finally picks up, his heart pounding wildly when he sees Finn’s name on the screen

He hit a pole, Finn explains, because he swerved to avoid hitting a cat

“I’m fine, honestly, Poe, the airbags went off and I was wearing my seatbelt and most of the damage is on the passenger side-”

Finn is fine, he promises, but his car is damaged fairly badly and also Finn rescued the cat, who is also fine, and they have no way to get home

So, Poe wraps BB in a blanket and carries him out to the car, and together they pick up Finn off the street in the dead of night

In five months of dating, it’s the first time Finn spends the night at Poe’s apartment with BB there

Finn sleeps on the couch, next to the makeshift nest of blankets where the kitten finally falls asleep

BB spends his Saturday writing a list of names for the kitten, who is entrusted to his care (and Poe’s) while Finn makes endless calls to a towing company and his insurance, and the bank and the local vet

Finn spends the next night, too, because he doesn’t want to move the cat, who is young and probably scared, and very attached to Poe and BB already

On Sunday, Finn goes to the vet to see if the cat is missing or chipped, and Finn leaves with a purring kitten that belongs only to him

BB is then allowed to name the cat officially; he becomes D-O, much to Finn’s amusment and Poe’s exasperation

(BB doesn’t deign to explain this decision, and Poe cannot bring himself to ask BB why this name was chosen more than ten times)

By then, they’ve also agreed that Finn will stay with BB and Poe until Finn’s car is fixed, so Poe can drive Finn to work, and so that D-O can stay with BB a little longer

Finn sleeps on the couch Sunday night, but BB sneaks out of bed to cuddle with the cat, and Poe finds them Monday morning, BB curled in Finn’s arms, D-O snuggled at their feet

Poe takes a picture before rousing them for school, and the picture is first the background on his phone, then printed and framed on the wall of their first home together

A smaller copy is slipped into his wallet, too, so that the three of them are with him, always

BB cries at the end of the week, when Finn has his car again, and he and D-O are ready to go home

(By Christmas, Poe has given Finn a key to the apartment, and by Feburary, they’re looking for a place to share together)

When BB turns eight, the three (four) of them move into the apartment that becomes their first home as a family, and it marks another beginning for them all

When BB turns ten, his father gets married, and he with his grandfather walk Poe down the aisle

Poe and BB are a family. This fact was slow and learned, but absolute all the same and Finn, still gradually, but just as certainly, becomes their family too

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multifandomhoodies · 2 years

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I posted 16,397 times in 2021

1031 posts created (6%)

15366 posts reblogged (94%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 14.9 posts.

I added 851 tags in 2021

#oscar isaac - 154 posts

#poe dameron - 150 posts

#work - 143 posts

#mando - 92 posts

#star wars - 69 posts

#din djarin - 58 posts

#dinluke - 50 posts

#finnpoe - 46 posts

#pedro pascal - 46 posts

#fic rec - 43 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#“the mand’alor is your riduur. he values your opinion and your decisions and wants them to be freely given.” “and if i decide to follow hi

My Top Posts in 2021

noah fence but the headcanon that din and luke are both REALLY into getting their asses kicked by the other is SO funny and SO good

60 notes • Posted 2021-11-01 23:07:59 GMT

i stopped mid episode to make this

60 notes • Posted 2021-07-21 00:04:57 GMT

the dinluke fic community is definitely in that stage where every single fic created is just. a masterpiece and it will make you ache.

72 notes • Posted 2021-09-28 01:27:09 GMT

im not even that in to dinluke in terms of the show but like? the fics people write and the fics i’ve written for it it’s just like. damn these two warriors and some of the last people of their races who both hold their religion in high esteem,,, both have faced some really really bad shit like,,,

72 notes • Posted 2021-07-17 13:33:29 GMT

Finnpoe Rec List!

There’s some really fantastic Finnpoe fics out there and I’ve been setting aside fics from my bookmarks for this for a while! These are just some of my faves, so enjoy!!

Canon/Canon Adjacent (not AUs outside general Star Wars universe)

“how to become the spark” by sassy_ninja (G - 49.7k

Poe Dameron, commander of the Resistance fleet, best pilot in the galaxy, hotshot trigger-happy flyboy, he's all of these things plus a little bit more. This is the story Poe Dameron, shy farmboy, doting son, idiot gay, soldier who tries his best not to be broken by the war roaring around him and most of all just a human in a galaxy which doesn't care about things like love, friendship and fear. This is how he breaks and how he begins to heal again and how he starts to learn what it means to be alive. Or Poe Dameron's life from his childhood to the end of the war.

“bathed in blue light” by delgay (M - 17.4k)

When Finn turns to his right, Poe stands beside him, looking up at Finn and giving him what might be a smirk if he weren’t too busy smiling. It’s that same smile that’s made home on his face ever since Finn said, “I’d like to see Yavin IV. If I’d be welcome.” Poe had blinked fast, but the smile came slow. “Buddy,” he’d replied, “I’m offended that you even had to ask.”

A year after the Battle of Exegol, Finn and Poe visit Yavin IV. While there, Finn struggles with the Force and his complicated relationship with Poe.

“we slept with our backs against the weather” by bogpersons (T - 8.4k)

Poe’s breaths come in stops and starts, and wheezes on the inhale and exhale. He sounds like a dying man. Finn lifts Poe’s hand to his lips, presses it there, squeezes his eye shut. Something harsh and painful swells in his chest, finds a place under his heart and pushes and pushes and pushes until Finn can barely breathe with it. You are a Human Person. Finn and Poe crash on a jungle planet. Finn struggles with himself.

“We Stan A Healthy Family Dynamic (The Kes Verse)” by AphroditesTummyRolls SERIES (Not rated, 161.7k)

Get in losers, we're giving the Star Wars Sequel cast the story they deserved-- Particularly Poe and Finn.

[Set after the events of TFA, rewrites of TLJ and neat little bits in-between. Poe deals with the aftermath Kylo Ren’s interrogation, dealing with regret and trauma, with the help of his friends and dad through a rewrite of TLJ.]

“your love will be safe with me” by incalyscent (T - 8.6k)

when finn stripped away the violence from himself, what did he have left? it was love; love; love.

“i’m yours (and suddenly you’re mine) by spacepilotprince (E - 4.3k)

Finn snorts against Poe's stomach, and it forces a ticklish laugh out of him. “Laying it on a little thick tonight, aren't you?” Finn asks as he looks up at Poe, and finds that grin he heard in his voice.

“Not the only thing that's thick,” Poe says with a smirk, glancing down between them towards Finn's cock.

“Oh, shut up,” Finn laughs, surging up to kiss him, muffling Poe's laughter. Poe runs his hands over Finn's shoulders and tips his head aside, sending Finn's mouth down his jaw and neck.

“Contact” by earthmylikeness (M - 9.9k)

Because what could Finn do but live through it? Live in the remains of his own shipwrecked mind, his badly-crossed wires. Imagine Poe’s perpetually bitten mouth on him - his wide, calloused hands on his bare chest, pulling him down and down whenever he so much as closes his eyes.

Finn has a delayed reaction to surviving the crash.

“Best Laid Efforts” by cosmicocean (T - 3.7k) @cosmicoceanfic

In which Jessika and Temmin do their best, aren't even subtle about it, and Poe and Finn are still morons.

“Ad Pacem” by SteveTrevorsStarship (T - 1.5k)

Finn knows war and rebellion so far. He doesn’t know peace. (Yet.)

“First Comes the Night” by coffeeinallcaps (E - 20.1k)

He doesn’t get nightmares. He doesn’t dream about the mask, the cries of the villagers, waking up in the desert with a blinding headache and his mouth filled with blood and the man who’d saved him gone, most likely dead. Instead, he just can’t sleep.

“have you heard” by peradi (Not rated, 42.1k)

"I heard FN-2187 was a Stormtrooper."

See the full post

111 notes • Posted 2021-02-05 20:42:37 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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bettsfic · 4 years

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do you know anything about like, the development of the purity rhetoric that now seems to be ubiquitous in fandom and how it got there? i used to be on tumblr in like, 2014 and only recently came back to fandom and i remember everyone being generally kind of cool with things like incest ships and morally grey characters (speaking specifically re the frozen fandom and elsa/anna here lmao) whereas now it seems like the conversation about those things has drastically shifted and i am..puzzled by it

this is what i imagine that experience was like for you:

according to fanlore, purity culture started in the homestuck fandom which. based on what i know of homestuck, that tracks. however i’ve never been in homestuck so i’m not sure what that transformation was like. all i know is my personal experience with the disk horse. afaik there’s no cohesive timeline of events across fandom, and i lack the time and resources to be able to make one myself. if anyone knows of one, or wants to make one, please let me know.

i do know that purity culture is a movement started by very young teenagers, who were maybe 13-15 in 2014 and are now 18-20. they were 8-10 when ao3 was founded, and therefore seem to have a limited knowledge of fan history, censorship, and critical thinking. i’m hoping that since they’re now entering college, they’ll get some insight and broader social awareness, and this movement will finally die out in the next few years.

on any other platform, at any other time, their toxic rhetoric would not have gained traction. but here and now, on tunglr dot com where anyone can gain a platform, where mob mentality thrives and inciting an anonymous dogpile is as easy as hitting Post, where the brokenness of this place makes it difficult to control the content you’re exposed to -- it’s the perfect storm. we live in an age of hopelessness. young people grow up with social media as an extension of their identities, tethered to devices that hold all the information in the world. i think it’s fair for them to be afraid of their futures, and i can understand the desire to control the online spaces where they have the most agency, where their voices are the loudest.

that may explain why, but not how. as in, where did they pick up this mentality at all? @freedom-of-fanfic (whose work is a necessity in understanding the disk horse) connected anti-shipping to TERF rhetoric. i’ve linked the fanlore page because it has all of the links and some of the responses. i honestly do believe that the language surrounding purity culture has its ugly roots in TERFdom. at its core, purity culture -- the policing of female and queer sexuality -- is misogyny.

when i started writing destiel circa 2014, fandom was as you described. wincest was a juggernaut on par with destiel. teen wolf was full of underage and noncon. a/b/o was on the rise. it seemed like fandom was a genre without restraint -- anything you wrote, if it found the right audience, would be celebrated unabashedly. people who have been following me for a long time know that i was addicted to adderall at the time and pounding out all sorts of manic nonsense. i remember living on the validation of comments (and at the time, there were lots of comments. not so much anymore, but that’s another story). i got critical comments only rarely, and they were the type that i admired -- readers without judgment thinking through the story, reacting to it earnestly. i made some of my best friends because they left long, critical comments on my work. sometimes they didn’t like it, sometimes they did, but ultimately, they were engaged, and that’s what counted.

i remember my first policing-type comment, i think at the start of all the purity nonsense. it was a destiel fic, and someone very angrily told me i should tag my bottom!cas because it was triggering. i’ve thought about that comment a lot over the years. top/bottom discourse is nothing new, but to say that bottom castiel is triggering? that was ridiculous. but then i realized -- there was a writer in fandom at the time i won’t name, who was known for being extremely sensitive (for bottom!cas especially, which they found triggering), and their very dedicated following offered fic that was safe for their fave to read. i have nothing against this person at all. they were not part of the purity discourse, they were up front about their sensitive nature, and as far as i knew (i believe i met them at a con once?) they were very kind.

but that commenter had been clearly influenced by this person and believed that a specific fictional character receiving anal sex from another specific fictional character was actual, real triggering content, and it was my obligation as a writer to tag for it. which i did, because i felt bad, and i was baffled by that request. at the time, i wanted more than anything to be liked, and conformed wherever i could. if i got such a request now, i would ignore it because it was rudely written and honestly kind of bonkers. i’d happily add a tag for something i may have missed, or even something i’d never considered before, but there’s no reason a person can’t make that request politely.

this situation isn’t about purity discourse proper (the commenter didn’t tell me not to write the fic, and it had nothing to do with morality), but it’s the earliest example i can think of where the process of policing had occurred: a person of influence on tumblr affected their follower’s thinking, and that follower felt entitled to command another writer to conform to that ideology.

i could be completely wrong about making these connections. maybe that commenter truly believed bottom!cas was a legitimate widespread trauma. they did not say the fic was triggering to them, but that it might be to some other people, in the same way purity police say “think of the CHILDREN” when in fact they don’t give a fuck about children at all.

after destiel i moved to stucky, which was, at the time, a juggernaut ship where anyone could write anything. this was also the time when the term “cinnamon roll” became incredibly popular, circa 2015. it was a fun and seemingly innocuous meme, but it positioned the ideas of “purity” and “wholesomeness” in sharp relief, and cemented these ideas by beginning to give it a distinct vocabulary. “trash” was pitched as its opposite. stucky is where i first came into contact with “antis.” in destiel, there had been ship wars, sure, but it was of a different flavor than antis. destiel vs wincest wasn’t about morality in 2014. it was about everything but.

in stucky in 2015, however, the disk horse was running rampant. the MCU had a sub-section of fandom called HTP (hydra trash party) in which steve and/or bucky have dubious or nonconsensual relations with various or many members of hydra. this is the first time i remember being aware of morality becoming a cornerstone of shipping. HTP was loathed by purity police. by the time i wrote a stucky bdsm au, i’d accumulated multiple nasty anons, rude comments from entitled readers, and other nonsense that all said the same thing: your filth is not welcome here in our space of purity. go away.

but the release of the force awakens is what really turned the tide. TFA offered three major ships: stormpilot (as it was called at the time, now finnpoe), reylo, and kylux. the fandom that developed around the sequels was firmly divided. franzeska wrote an amazing meta about this phenomenon which gives some insight into the seeds of purity policing. in short, stormpilot should have been the primary pairing of the sequels, but instead many of the badwrong writers from other fandoms (and HTP specifically, which was how i entered the fandom) flocked to the blank slate of kylux.

it took a long time for the ship to gain traction. a friend told me that kylux had started with angry star wars racists who hated that there was diversity in the sequel trilogy. and i told them no, i was there, there were twelve of us and a cornchip, and all we cared about was the dirty/darkly comedic potential of these two ridiculous villain characters in one of the biggest franchises of all time. it wasn’t that complicated. i don’t mean to dismiss the discussion of race in fandom; i think it’s important to acknowledge that racism, as franzeska describes far better than i can, plays a huge part in fandom, particularly in star wars, and it’s an important and ongoing discussion to be having, especially given what kelly marie tran has gone through, and how it affected (presumably) rose tico’s extremely limited presence in TROS.

the early fics of kylux weren’t particularly taboo. they were post-TFA hurt/comfort mostly, then slowly the bdsm and power dynamics crept in. those of us who wanted to get away from purity discourse had finally found a new home. for a while. 2016 was the golden era of kylux. we were all very happy.

i remember talking to a friend about how there were certain things i couldn’t write in certain ships. being from ye olden days of fandom, she was appalled by this idea, and told me i could write anything for any ship i wanted, wasn’t that was the whole point of transformative works? and i agreed! but i tried to explain, if you post badwrong for a fandom of purity police, you’re going to, at best, get dogpiled in your comments/inbox. at worse they will find you, call your employer, and try to ruin your life. people will tell you to kill yourself. they’ll report your tumblr and try to get your blog shut down. there are real-life, harrowing consequences to writing taboo fic, and many who write fic as a hobby don’t have the emotional energy to field these risks.

around this time, discord became popular, which offered a private space for badwrong writers to congregate. i had started grad school and didn’t have much time to write fic. metoo was happening. tromp got elected. kylux was slowly turning mainstream so a lot of us turned our attention to gradence in fantastic beasts. some went on to hannibal and other fandoms that hadn’t yet caught the attention of purity police (but it was, as it is now, just a matter of time). kylux, i feel, was specifically decimated by a single fan creator, who was like a police chief. they would get wind of someone writing underage or noncon and write a call-out post about them, and that writer/artist would get pitchforked. a few times, my comments or posts got screencapped, and posts were written urging people to stop reading my works because of how heinously immoral i was. this happened to several of my friends too.

the great tumblr tittyban of 2017 happened, which only added fuel to the fire and further legitimized the purity movement. i shifted hesitantly to the 100 fandom, which seemed small in comparison to supernatural, marvel, and star wars. i thought it was a chill place. i was wrong; it was just as toxic as other fandoms. but i also didn’t care anymore, and i appreciated that i was mostly left alone. more importantly, i found a lot of support from other people who were as tired of the purity as i was, and @the100kinkmeme was reborn.

the state of things is pretty abysmal. there are some really amazing writers out there writing under multiple sock accounts, keeping their fandom identities shattered so as not to call attention to themselves. as much as i understand why writers do that, and i respect that decision, i also think it’s sad. it deprives readers the chance to read that author’s other works. it limits the sense of community and our ability to make friends. it fractures the future of the genre.

what’s most important to acknowledge is that none of this is happening solely in fandom. i went to a writers’ conference where 2 of 3 panels were about the history of moral policing and censorship in art. it is worth noting that of the 40-ish visiting writers on faculty, only one (1) was a woman of color (jaimaica kincaid). naturally, older rich white people who have spent their life in the arts are all about death of the author, separation of art and artist. they’re on the total opposite side of purity police, and they won’t acknowledge at all that racism and sexism are a problem in the creative world. they don’t have any nuance on the discussion, or modern perspectives in light of metoo or popular culture.

this went on longer than i anticipated. i neglected to mention YFIP (your fave is problematic) an old blog that started the idea of call-out culture by pulling receipts on celebrities, and how call-out culture led to cancel culture, which also aided in the purity disk horse. i think a lot can be said about how some of this stuff is genuinely good (metoo and holding men accountable for their bullshit) while also being profoundly toxic (punishing criminals via mob mentality, ruining their careers and livelihoods through social media, rather than giving them their due process in court. i understand it -- the judicial system is built by the hands of the very predators we seek to condemn, but still. the jury of the internet is never a fair trial).

if you want to read more, my tag is tsatp (the sacred and the profane). i’m sure i’ve left out a lot, but i can only speak to my experience. i think it would be good if people would share their experience dealing with purity policing, too, so we might get a cohesive timeline in place. feel free to reblog and add your story.

#tsatp #my fic #Anonymous

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ziezie13 · 4 years

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Fics of the Week

I am doing something a little different this time in honor of Juneteenth. For those of you who don’t know Juneteenth is celebrated at the day of emancipation here in Texas. On this day, two and a half years after the Emancipation Proclamation, it was proclaimed that all enslaved persons in the state of Texas were to be free. Normally we would celebrate with some live music, fun, and food but the public festivities have been postponed due to COVID. So I thought I might give a shout-out to all the amazing writers of color out there! These writers span dozens of fandoms and include all kinds of pairings so hopefully you find something you love as much as I did. Without further ado, check out these amazing fics!

Boostle Family by mikeymagee (@mikeymagee)

Coming back from a quick sightseeing trip through time with Booster, Jaime has somehow been de-aged. Now it's up to everyone's two favorite superheroes to keep him out of trouble...if only they could do the same for themselves.

Words: 6804; Chapters: 9/?; Fandoms: Justice League International (Comics), Booster Gold (Comics), Blue Beetle (Comics), DCU, DCU (Animated), Batman: The Brave and the Bold, Young Justice (Cartoon); Rating: General Audiences; Last Update: 14 Sep 2014

Relationship(s): Family Relationships, Friendship - Relationship

Characters: Booster Gold, Ted Kord, Jaime Reyes, Blue Beetle - Character, Michael Carter, Boostle - Character

Additional Tags: AU, Family, Age Regression/De-Aging, Bromance

Lucky for you by Daiako (Achrya) (@achryadaiako)

Katsuki is a summoner, a damn good one. Which makes accidently calling forth a timid Incubus and ending up bonded to him all the more infuriating. It only gets worse when he realizes he can feel the demons emotions and that it's is very very hungry. The only way to quiet the bond is satisfy the demon’s needs and complete the spell.

For Kinktober, prompts are incubus and bonds

Words: 3603; Chapters: 1/1; Series: Part 7 of Kinktober 2017; Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia; Rating: Explicit; Last Update: 08 Oct 2017

Relationship(s): Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku

Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead

Additional Tags: Incubus Deku, Demon Sex, Witch Katsuki, Demon Summoning, Empathetic bonds, Magic Gone Wrong, Shapeshifting, Genderfluid Character

Goodnight my Loves, says the Bat by AmarieMelody (@amariemelody)

The various reasons Bruce's children choose to sleep in the bed with their father.

Over the years, over the ages the reasons vary with each child...and Bruce has accommodated each & every one.

Hurt/comfort, fluff, with dashes of humor.

Words: 8594; Chapters: 1/?; Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics); Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Last Update: 25 Mar 2019

Characters: Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Cassandra Cain, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Talia al Ghul, Leslie Thompkins

Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Humor, SO MUCH HUMOR, Daddy!Bruce, daddy!Bats, Mentions of child abuse & neglect (mostly w/Cass and Jason), Batfamily fanfic

Tactile by Bircjosta (@bircjosta)

In low and soft light, Taako and Kravitz learn more about each other.

Or,

Taako and Kravitz touch a whole lot and have a great and informative time.

Words: 2300; Chapters: 1/1; Fandoms: The Adventure Zone (Podcast); Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Last Update: 01 Aug 2018

Relationship(s): Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone)

Characters: Kravitz (The Adventure Zone), Taako (The Adventure Zone)

Additional Tags: Romance, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Touching, Enthusiastic Consent

sweet as can be by captainafroelf (@captainafroelf, @afro-elf) for JazzyTee

bucky finds love in the supermarket and it gets cuter from there

Words: 5483; Chapters: 2/2; Fandoms: Captain America (Movies); Rating: Not Rated; Last Update: 18 Dec 2019

Relationship(s): James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s)

Characters: Original Female Character(s), James "Bucky" Barnes, Shuri (Marvel), Sam Wilson (Marvel)

Additional Tags: Fluff, Cooking, Baking, it's not rated because i don't know How Sexy this is gonna get yet, so it got pretty sexy

Inexperience by HoneyBee95

Experiences are part of what makes us human. No matter who we are, or where we’ve been, every experience defines us. Poe Dameron had realized early on that Finn had very little understanding in most things, and tries to help him as best he can in every way possible.

Words: 2028; Chapters: 1/1; Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015); Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Last Update: 02 Jan 2016

Relationship(s): Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey, Poe Dameron & Finn, Finn/FN-2003 | Slip, Poe Dameron/Finn, Stormpilot - Relationship, Finnpoe

Characters: Finn (Star Wars), Poe Dameron, BB-8, Rey (Star Wars), FN-2003 | Slip

Additional Tags: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, ptsd finn, Loss of Virginity, Virginity, Urination, Sexuality, Implied Poe Dameron/Finn, Star Wars: The Force Awakens Spoilers, Stormpilot, fn-2003 - Freeform, Male Homosexuality, Desire

The gorgeous gif comes from @handeleugene! It was designed by Danni Fisher-Shin and Animated by Antoinie Eugene and Handel Eugene (original post here).

Want more? @captainafroelf (aka @afro-elf) has some great posts with links to black writers and blogs! You can find her posts here and here. Also check out the blackinfanfiction tag on AO3 for fics featuring black characters.

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galaxysgal · 4 years

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If It Weren’t For Those Meddling Coworkers!

my contribution to @finnpoeevents day 2! (mutual pining and/or office au) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: None Relationships: Finnpoe Characters: Finn, Poe Dameron, Original Characters Additional Tags: Fluff, Dorks, Dorks in Lve, Getting Together, First Kiss, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, Office Party, Christmas, Christmas Party, Ugly Holiday Sweaters, Mutual Pining, Finn-centric, Cuties, Meddling, Champagne, Drinking, But like its just two glasses of champagne, soft Summary: Poe appeared beside him in a quiet corner of the room that they had claimed as their own, two glasses of crappy champagne in his hands and a grin on his face.

"Drink up buddy," he said, clinking their glasses together before downing it all in one go.

Aka: my contribution to Finnpoe Week 2020 Day Two: Mutual Pining or Office Au! I decided to combine whe two into a fluffy lil one shot in which Finn and Poe are office buddies who have been pining for months. Pure fluff ft. Christmastime, soft pining, and meddling coworkers :)

Read here on my Ao3

taglist: @tinyphantomsalad @wheeliebinbyers @xwings-can-fly @imasunflower00 @shibasus @stormpilotsrus @kitmarloweki

xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx

Finn hated office Christmas parties. Sincerely, he hated them. Rey would tell him "hate is a strong word Finn," and Finn would reply that he strongly disliked office christmas parties, but that was just for show. He really, sincerely, truly hated them. The gift exchanges, the mistletoe, the mediocre champagne, it was the worst. The only thing that made these parties better was Poe Dameron.

Poe was Finn's cubicle neighbor and favorite co-worker. Their friendship had started with notes slipped under the partition between their desks, just simple things like 'have you met your quota?' or 'is the wifi on the fritz?' but from then it evolved to sharing lunches, swapping stories and spilling office gossip. Poe was sweet, he remembered Finn's coffee order after hearing it only twice, and he would bring Finn a small iced vanilla latte every morning. Now, Poe appeared beside him in a quiet corner of the room that they had claimed as their own, two glasses of crappy champagne in his hands and a grin on his face.

"Drink up buddy," he said, clinking their glasses together before downing it all in one go.

Finn did the same, taking the moment afterwards to look Poe up and down. He was wearing an unfairly tight pair of jeans, cuffed up to reveal Christmas socks sticking out of his black converse, and the most authentic looking ugly sweater Finn had ever seen. His dark brown curls were unstyled and mussed from the reindeer antler headband he kept taking off and repositioning, over and over.

He took it off again and Finn snatched it up, placing it on his own head. "How do I look?" he asked, turning in a circle.

"Gorgeous," Poe replied, a fond look in his eyes.

Wait, fond? No, that was definitely a friendly look. A look of friendship. from a friend. A friend who would be so nice as something more… Finn shook away his internal monologue and constant pining, and struck a few ridiculous poses. "I'm ready for my closeup Mr. Dameron," he joked.

Quick as lightning Poe had whipped out his camera and started snapping pictures of Finn with his flash on, playfully calling out to him with paparazzi-esque phrases. "Finn! Finn! Finn who styled you this evening? Marc Jacobs? Calvin Klein?"

Finn laughed, striking a few more poses before a drunk coworker slammed into him, knocking him directly into Poe. They laughed together, untangling themselves and returning to regular conversation.

At some point Poe disappeared to shake the white elephant gift exchange boxes, and Finn found himself the victim of one of Chatty Cathy's drunken rants. She was going on and on about something her ex husband had done, but Finn wasn't paying attention. He smiled down at his phone, looking at the pictures Poe had sent him, the ones he had taken earlier, along with a string of star emojis.

Poe: gorgeous

Poe: a star in the making ;)

Poe: you in need of rescuing?

Finn chuckled lightly- much to the dismay of Chatty Cathy who paused to give him an angry look before continuing on anyway- and tapped out a response.

Finn: yes please

Finn: immediately

Poe appeared beside him mere seconds later, somehow managing to charm Chatty Cathy into letting them leave, and pulling Finn along behind him. "I've got a surprise for you," he said with a smile, making Finn's insides go all warm and twisty.

Poe dragged him up to the roof, where he had managed to steal an entire box of cheese pizza, a couple plates of fruit, and two more champagne flutes. "How did you-" Finn began, staring in awe.

"Charm," Poe said with a wink, offering up a plate of fruit. "Pineapple?"

Finn laughed, taking a piece off the plate and eating it while Poe pulled over two plastic chairs. "This is absurd, god, what are we even doing?" He sat down beside Poe, sharing the plate of fruit.

"Finally enjoying some peace and quiet away from our annoying ass coworkers," he replied, grabbing a slice of pizza and offering one up to Finn.

"Can't argue with that," he murmured, surveying Poe's face in the low light. It was unfair how he managed to look good in every light. For instance, the fluorescent bulbs of their office building shined brightly on all his features, showing them off in sharp detail. The dim light of the attached warehouse cast shadows on his face, defining the line of his jaw. And now, under the soft orange glow of the street lamps, his eyes shined.

"You cold?"

Finn snapped out of his thoughts, face heating up as he realized he had been staring. He was met with a gentle smile, and Poe reached over to rub his arms. "Yeah, a little," Finn admitted.

"Here," Poe tugged his sweater off, revealing a solid maroon long sleeve tee underneath. "This'll keep you warm," he said.

"Poe I can't-" he tried to protest, but the sweater was already in his hands, fabric warm and smelling like spice and cologne. "Won't you get cold?"

Poe shook his head, "I run warm, and this has fleece on the inside." He turned the sleeve of his shirt inside out, showing it to Finn, "it doesn't matter anyway, long as you're warm," he said.

Finn felt something warm in his chest, and thought he saw Poe's eyes flick down to his lips. He almost leaned in, almost did it, and then a violent shiver racked his body. Just like that the moment was gone. He pulled the sweater over his head, breathing in the fabric as it pulled over his face. "Thank you."

Poe hummed, "it suits you," he murmured.

They chatted for nearly an hour, until all the pizza was gone and Finn was starting to shiver again. Poe reached over, rubbing his arms to warm him up.

"God, what time is it? How long have we been-" Poe was distracted by the sound of giggling, and of the door slamming shut. The door with the automatic locks. "Shit!"

Poe leaped up and Finn followed him, running over to the door. There was a note on the ground and-

"Is that mistletoe?"

Poe nodded, reaching down to pick up the note. "It says 'Please for the love of god just kiss already. We can see the pining from miles away. Xoxo Cathy and Brad!'"

Finn's heart sped up, and he forced a laugh. "Very funny, good joke," but when he looked at Poe, he looked a little hurt. "It is… it is a joke, right?"

Poe chuckled. "Yeah buddy, a joke. A cruel, cruel joke."

Finn knew better. That was a lie, he could tell. Poe was lying, and if Poe was lying, that meant he felt the same. Poe felt the same. And all of a sudden Finn was kissing him, messy and hard, teeth bumping and hands awkwardly brushing over shoulders and hips, and it wasn't perfect but it was good. It was so good.

Finn never wanted to pull away, Poe tasted like fruit and champagne and everything he had ever wanted. He was warm, lean muscle beneath his fingertips, soft curls against his forehead. It was everything he had imagined and more. Poe's hand came to rest on the small of his back, pulling him closer and their kisses slipped into something a bit more tame. The slide of their lips became gentle, warm, reassuring.

Finn's heart swelled in his chest and he reached out to run his fingers through Poe's hair, tentative and light. Poe let out a small, happy sigh, and Finn took that as an encouragement to bury his hands in Poe's hair, brushing and pulling lightly, twirling one little curl around his finger.

When they finally broke apart, Poe looked at him for a moment, then crushed him in a hug. "You're so- I just- I-" he struggled to form words and Finn chuckled. "You're perfect, Finn. You're perfect. I've wanted to tell you that for so long and I just, I never could. And now I can."

Finn smiled wider then than he ever had before, holding Poe a little tighter. He didn't speak, afraid if he opened his mouth he'd rush into 'I love you's, and that was not what they needed right now. He simply pressed kisses to Poe's hair and held him until he regained the ability to form words.

"You want to maybe go for coffee? Catch a late movie?" He asked, releasing Poe from his grip.

"That-" Poe laughed and looked down at his shoes, then back up at Finn. "That sounds amazing, really. I would love to." He leaned in brushing a kiss to Finn's cheek, his nose, then his lips. "We just gotta get off this roof first. Which could, uh, it could take a while."

"Oh god," Finn laughed, and Poe wrapped an arm around him. "At least I have you to keep me warm."

xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx

I hope you enjoyed!!

#finnpoeweek20 #finnpoe #stormpilot #finnpoe fic #stormpilot fanfic #star wars #sw #star wars sequel trilogy fanfic #star wars sequals #star wars sequel trilogy #finn #poe dameron #modern finnpoe #mags writes #mags' finnpoe chronicles

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roykent6 · 4 years

Note

Finnpoe ofccc

Gives nose/forehead kisses: I think Poe is generally an affectionate person, so he starts off doing that more but once Finn picks up the habit, he is unstoppable (and Poe is not complaining)

Gets jealous the most: probably Poe; Finn is used to people flirting with Poe and doesn’t doubt Poe’s commitment at all (not that Poe doubt’s Finn’s either, but he has a harder time with it, he gets more possessive)

Picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive: Finn. Poe talks a big game about drinking with the other pilots, but at the end of the day he’s a lightweight

Takes care of on sick days: they’re both really good about this, but Poe is a natural caretaker, so when Finn is sick he pulls out all the stops (but when it’s the opposite he’s a big baby about being sick and either pretends he’s not sick and keeps working until he drops or needs constant attention from Finn)

Drags the other person out into the water on beach day: Finn loves to swim and Poe loves to get sun (Poe loves to swim too, but it becomes like a game for them for Poe to act like he doesn’t want to go and Finn dragging him in)

Gives unprompted massages: Poe does this a lot, but Finn can always tell when Poe is feeling stressed and needs a massage (or more than a massage)

Drives/rides shotgun: Poe drives, Finn rides shotgun and DJs (Finn’s playlists are more balanced, Poe’s are incredibly eclectic)

Brings the other lunch at work: Finn does this, he loves surprising Poe on days when Poe is stuck doing administrative work or lots of maintenance on the ships (but if Poe goes to lunch and Finn isn’t in the mess, Poe automatically knows that Finn is working through lunch and fills two trays to bring to wherever Finn is so they can eat together)

Has the better parental relationship: naturally this is Poe, but once they’re together, Kes becomes the father Finn never had (and Kes thinks of Finn as another son)

Tries to start role-playing in bed: this probably isn’t their thing, Finn tries it and it doesn’t work and it’s something they laugh about later (they try again another time to see if that was a fluke and it still isn’t all there and they end up just laughing together throughout the rest of the night in bed)

Embarrassingly drunk dancer: this is 100% Poe, but Finn will be right there with him once he really gets going (they’re not the best dancers in the world but they are energetic and have fun)

Still cries watching Titanic: Poe is a big movie crybaby, and he’s a sucker for 90s Leo (Finn cries more at animal movies, like Homeward Bound)

Firmly believes in couples costumes: they’re both dorks and love this, and since Poe canonically knows how to sew but is not good at it, Finn decides to learn and gets pretty good at making them costumes (he gets better and better each year, always outdoing himself with their costumes)

Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas: they also both do this, they love spoiling each other whenever possible (the expensive gift rule is basically a formality, they both know they’re going to break it but pretend not to know)

Makes the other eat breakfast: Finn, usually. they both get busy and will forget, but Poe will start thinking too far ahead in the mornings and forget breakfast unless Finn sits him down to eat it (this is better for everyone, no one wants to be around Poe when he’s only has coffee and no food in the morning)

Remembers anniversaries: they’re both good at remembering big dates, but Poe secretly has a list of Leslie Knope-type anniversaries (first time we ate together in the mess, first time I played guitar for Finn, the day we became generals together, etc.)

Brings up having kids: probably Poe, but Finn was already thinking about it too (they end up adopting orphaned ex-storm trooper cadets after the war)

#finnpoe #my best boys!!!!#thanks anon #anonymous #ask

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dxmerons · 3 years

Text

Okay so without further ado here’s my Star Wars parody of “Welcome to the Internet” by Bo Burnham

all credits for the song go to him because I do not want to get sued for copyright

Welcome to the Star Wars fandom

Have a look around

Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found

We’ve got mountains of opinions

Some better some worse

If none are controversial to you, you’d be the first

Welcome to the Star Wars fandom

Come and take a seat (young skywalker)

Would you like to see the brand new film

Or the cartoon TV

There’s no need to panic

This isn’t a trial, haha

Just nod or shake your head and we’ll do the rest

Welcome to the Star Wars fandom

What would you prefer

Would you like to fight for prequel rights

Or tweet a Wookiee slur

Be happy

Be horny

Be bursting with rage (KENOBIIIAAUUGGHH)

We got a million different ways to engage

Welcome the the Star Wars fandom

Put your peace aside

Here’s a tip for building a saber

Here’s a youngling who died

We’ve got troopers, and doctors, and podracing sports

And a bunch of electric drawings

Of all the clone wars characters f*cking each other!

Welcome to the Star Wars fandom

Hold on to your blue milk

‘Cause a random guy just kindly sent you rantings of the sequels

They are stupid and off putting

He just sent you more

Don’t act surprised, you know you hate it, you bore

See Jango beheaded

Get offended, see Yoda

Show us pictures of your fanart

Tell us everything you think

Start a fight, buy a toy

Or send a death threat to an actor

Or message a girl and bully her

Do a clone or find a “tumor”

And here’s a healthy viewing option

You should kill your General

Here’s why jedi cannot fuck you

Here’s how you can build a bomb

Which Sith Lord are you?

Take this quirky quiz

Palpatine sent the clone troopers

To assassinate the Jedi

Could I interest you in everything

All of the time?

A little bit of everything

All of the time

Obitine is a tragedy and the resistance show is a crime

Anything and everything

All of the time

Could I interest you in everything

All of the time?

A little bit of everything

All of the time

Anidala is a tragedy and the resistance show is a crime

Anything and everything

All of the time

You know, it wasn’t always like this

Not very long ago

Just before your time

Right before the fandom fell

And clone force 99

This was happiness

Cosplays

A quarrel or two

We set our sights and spent our nights

Waiting

For

You

Unproblematic you

Mommy let you use her iPad

You were barely two

Now look at you

Oh, look at you

You, you

Unstoppable, watchable

Your time is now

Honey, how you grew

And if you stay interested

Who knows what you’ll do

It was always the plan

To put the fandom in your hand

Hah hahahaha

Could I interest you in everything

All of the time

A bit of everything

All of the time

Blylas a tragedy and the resistance show is a crime

Anything and everything

All of the time

Could I interest you in everything

All of the time

A little bit of everything

All of the time

Finnpoes a tragedy and the resistance show is a crime

Anything and everything

And anything and everything

And all of the time

#i ran out creativity juice during the end as you can tell #Star Wars #parody film #bo burhnam #inside #welcome to the internet

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

Note

Do you think we’ll ever get a S5?

Hi Nonny!

So, I’ve gotten this question asked in a variety of ways but generally boil down to this exact question, so I’m going to tackle this one first, and answer any others in regards to the actors separately because they’re a whole other can of worms.

I have answered variations of this question in the past, so you can read these if you want, but today’s answer is my most recent opinion:

Do I think there’s Going to be an S5?

Will There be a Season 5?

Is there Ever Going to be an S5?

Is it True S5 will Happen (Plus some Mofftiss Shitposting)?

Will There Be S5 and Will Johnlock Happen?

What Do You Think it’s Gonna Be About?

Do You Think it’s On Hiatus Right Now?

What Do I Think is Going On in S4 and Will There Be An S5

Will Johnlock Ever Become Canon?

Will they ever make a new season?

So you can check those out after reading this post.

In the spirit of my blog, I have two answers for you, and the “honest” answer is the one you won’t like.

That said, do you want my honest opinion or my tinhat opinion?

Tinhat opinion: Yes, because the story is incomplete; too many plot holes and S4′s sloppiness and complete 180 from the original plot is so bizarre (([THIS POST TOO])). Too many fucked up things that make me WANT to believe that it’s clever trick and all will be explained when S5 is finally done. There’s evidence that it was commissioned before S4, but I’ve had this theory very well debunked for me on this post here, and my opinions have changed a lot since that post.

Which segues into this: note I say “want to believe” up above there, though. Important wording here, because I feel like my faith in Mofftiss has essentially disappeared because of S4, since I really do enjoy theorizing and speculating and the evidence was RIGHT THERE. But what changed my mind was mainly the reactions and body language of the actors and my annoyance at the arrogance of Mofftiss acting like S4 was brilliant when no one else agrees with them.

This is where my honest opinion comes in, and this is me speaking without bias and with a heavy heart, and are MY OPINIONS, so you can take it or leave it, I don’t care. I’m not here to deflate anyone’s balloons, but Occam’s razor and all.

Honest opinion: No, at least not in the next couple years. Mofftiss kind of disregarded a large chunk of the fandom and got too cocky (Mofftiss: TFP is the best episode of the series! // Also Mofftiss: Yeah, but we’re not going to pitch it for an Emmy nomination) (Mofftiss: we can make anything and everyone will love it! // General Audience Critics: You THOUGHT so, what is this?) and the general disinterest of all the actors surrounding S5 is very telling to me (see the Buzzfeed “Ben With Puppies” interview, this interview with Martin Freeman, and this recounting of Setlock S4). Occasionally it’s brought up with Martin or Ben and they basically say “we’re on a pause”. I think Martin definitely felt really shafted the last season in favour for his ex (who is a whole other barrel of monkeys I have a lot of opinions on), with what they did to John’s character, and I don’t think he has any interest in continuing on any time soon. And Ben’s Buzzfeed “Interview with Puppies” is super telling to me, honestly (timestamp 1:34 if you want to see the part about ‘Sherlock’) – he was NOT “tee hee, I’m being sneaky” (sorry, I HONESTLY don’t know how people are seeing that response as such…), he was “ah, nope, not touching that one because what I wanted to happen and was told would happen isn’t anymore and we’ve been essentially silenced to talk about it.”

Plus Mofftiss seem convinced that this new Dracula project is their next big thing and even they seem to have lost interest in Sherlock all because they didn’t get the praise for S4 that they’ve gotten in the past. I’ve also read a long while ago that Ben is busy with his production company and Marvel for the foreseeable future AND Mofftiss have ANOTHER project after Dracula, and it’s not Sherlock (unconfirmed on this second point, it was just a mention on someone’s blog and I can’t find any articles on the other project they’re doing after Dracula).

And since I mentioned it: No, I don’t think Dracula is a “secret Sherlock thing” or “will have clues to Sherlock in it”. Yes, of course it’s going to have Sherlock Easter eggs in it – almost every showrunner has Easter eggs to their or their actors’ previous works in literally everything – but those E-Eggs will have NOTHING to do with the narrative or future of Sherlock. So, at the very least because I’m worried about everyone’s mental health, it’s already looking like Dracula’s going to be another queerbaiting mess, so please totally enjoy the show if you want, but don’t look too much into it or any E-eggs that the show has. It’s not a secret Sherlock project.

And let’s not forget the general disdain Mofftiss seems to have for their fanbase, essentially selling out because who cares about making sense, all because we criticized S4 because it didn’t make sense and called them out for their queerbaiting without an explanation of S4 [THIS ARTICLE TOO], especially after… Gatiss I think… admitted to using homoerotic subtext in the series to draw in viewership.

Even if they were doing this all to pull the ACD thing on us (essentially kill off Sherlock in a literal sense), it’s a shit way they’re going about it. To me, it feels like S4 was “revenge” for the fandom figuring out their plot before they got a chance to reveal it, because they were annoyed we figured out TAB. That, and I think certain… people… manipulated their way into having input into what they wanted and usurped Ben and Martin out of either spite or a need to be relevant. *shrugs*. But this is getting too biased, so I’ll leave it there for now.

I have mixed feelings about S4, S5, and what I want. I’ve various theories in my ‘s5 and beyond’ and ‘s4 and beyond’ tags if you’re interested in further rabbit-holing.

Listen I GET wanting to hold onto hope. Hell, I still do. But sometimes we all need to step back and look at the facts from an unbiased point of view, off of the Tumblr-sphere. I’m still a fan, as we all are, and being a fan means that you also are allowed to question things that make no sense. I really wish people would stop gatekeeping just because we all have different opinions. It’s okay to love something but know that there’s SO many problems with it (ie. Disney).

I say let it rest, and leave the fix-its to the fandom. I’m going to watch it if it ever happens, and of course I’ll start speculating again, but right now, I don’t think is the time for S5 because Mofftiss clearly have their interests elsewhere, but keep dangling the promise of more Sherlock to stay relevant.

So, TL;DR: I think if we get S5, it will be a long time from now, and I fear it will follow the plot of S4, because, like Disney with FinnPoe, Mofftiss are coming off as “passive progressive” cowards (I saw that term in a YouTube review of TRoS, and I thought it was perfect to describe them: We’ll put social issues and gays in our shows, but can’t make the leads gay for each other).

#steph replies #my thoughts #my opinions #don't matter it's just me thinking out of my ass #of course i want s5 #but i think it's better left to the fandom #Anonymous #mofftiss have no care for us #s5 and beyond #sherlock s5 #s4 shitposting #shitposting steph #passive progressive #queerbaiting

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finnstansonly · 4 years

Note

Please share finnpoe we need it in these trying times

i don’t write finnpoe or any ships really but here’s a scene from a fic that i probably won’t finish that has finn and poe in it. notable differences from canon since this was written before tros: leia is not dead, kylo is captured trying to flee by finn after the defeat of palpatine and put in jail, so finn and poe are NOT generals. when i say the General, i’m talking about bad bitch leia organa.

i will be accepting non-braindead finnpoe opinions for...let’s say a couple of hours. enjoy.

Finn's sitting in the base's cafeteria absentmindedly picking at his food, waiting for Rey or Jannah to show up. He’s not upset, but his mind is swirling in a fog. Everything is settling down. Palpatine is defeated, Kylo Ren is locked up in the bowels of the base behind force-blocking cell walls. He’s even found a family in his chosen sister, Jannah, and Lando. Yet here he is – off-kilter. There is a cloud hanging over him he can’t quite make sense of. He needs to surround himself with something good. Something to bring him to center.

Finn hears someone approach his table from behind, and then Poe is setting his tray down beside him and sitting down. He exhales like an old man before speaking. “Hectic month, huh?”

Finn pops some herbs in his mouth and hardly registers the taste. “I can’t really believe it’s over.” His whole life has been engulfed by this war, by the whims of three different men who believed they were invincible. Two of them dead, one in his own personal purgatory. And now...He should be happy now. With Poe in this moment, he’s happier.

Poe shrugs. “It’s not really over.” He begins to knife through a meat patty. “I mean, we still have to clear out the stragglers. I have to leave for another mission the day after tomorrow.”

“Oh,” Finn says. Maybe that’s why he feels so uneasy. The worst guys are dead – for real this time – but the war isn’t over. And Finn’s ready to be finished. He’s done his part. He knows the General won’t force him to do any more than he’s already accomplished. If he didn’t have this sinking feeling, he’d ask the General to send him out with Poe and the others, but he can’t shake the knot in his stomach.

Poe notices some aspect of the journey Finn’s walking in his mind. “We can have an official celebration when I get back! We’ll all meet up and put this behind us – figure out what we’re supposed to do next together.”

“Together is good.” It’s uplifting, and more final than whatever is happening now – in the falling action of the war. So he packs that idea in the back of his mind and hopes it eases him the next time he feels another inevitable wave of unease. “Where are they sending you?”

“Not sure yet.” He stuffs a heap of meat in his mouth and keeps talking. “I’ll probably find out tomorrow. The nature of spies is that they can be anywhere. Chances are we won’t even get them all – but my placement depends on the success of the missions occurring right now. I go where I’m needed.”

Finn hums in acknowledgment while staring hard at the stringy vegetable he’s rolling between his fingers. He tries not to compare his role in this to Poe’s. They’re needed for different things because they have different skill sets. That’s fine. And he doesn’t particularly want to fight the frayed ends of the First Order. He’s just bothered no one had considered him for the job.

“I think the General might use Kylo Ren for information.”

Finn’s face immediately wrinkles up. “We can’t do it without him?” he asks.

“It’s not that we can’t. We have good intel, and anyone who can be interrogated has been. But he was Supreme Leader, puppet or not. If there’s any extra information she can get from him, she’s bound to try.”

“I don’t think he’ll be very forthcoming.” They didn’t speak much during Palpatine’s defeat, but Finn understood Ren well enough to know their temporary alliance hinged more on his ego than helping end the war. He can practically see Ren brooding in his cell, infuriated he was never as in control as he thought.

“The General is nothing if not persistent.” A family trait, Finn presumes. “I know she’s considered interrogating him personally to strike a chord with him. Maybe she already has.”

“Seems like a waste of time,” Finn says.

“She doesn’t waste time. If she thinks it’ll help, she’ll do it.” Then he changes the topic. They finish eating together and Poe makes a point to keep the conversation light.

#don't say i never did anything for you #in tandem #rebelfinn #finn #poe dameron #finnpoe #star wars #mo the force be with us #mo writes sometimes #anon #mo answers #fic tag

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livedsomanylives · 4 years

Text

| finnpoe | stormpilot | first kiss. alcohol use. spin the bottle |

“What are you gonna do, when the war is over?”

Rose’s voice is little more than a sigh, the words muffled, distant, somehow trapped in the inside of the bottle of the burnt-caramel-flavored something that has being rotating for a while around the crowd.

Finn is not looking at her. Finn is looking up, at the dark beyond the rustling leaves of the palm trees, at the sky that looks so much different from here -less dark, less cold- than from other side of the porthole of a Destroyer. Finn has never liked space before. But now, in this distance, he thinks he maybe would.

Just maybe.

He looks down to Rose, her eyes bright form the alcohol there all drinking. Bright from the kiss, too, just a couple of minutes ago.

“What do you mean?”

Rose frowns, looks at Finn like he clearly should know what she means.

“You know. Where’re you gonna go. What’re you gonna do” she lifts the bottle, swings it in the general direction of all Ajan Kloss and beyond “After”

She says gonna. She says after. And Finn.

Finn.

“I–”

“Trooper!” Jessica Pava’s voice cuts through the noise of the conversations, calling for his attention from the other side of the circled crowd. Her smile wide and charming and sharp-edged, eyes on the dangerous side of playful when Finn meets them “Seems like it’s your turn to get lucky!”

And yeah. Right. They’re playing. A bottle, people kissing, and -in Pava’s own words- a little bit living-like excitement for you, whitecase. Finn likes her as much as he can’t stand her. According to Poe, there’s no other way to feel about Jessica, “Not that she allows, anyway”

It is late. The party long faded into this: bonfires consumed into coals, music lowered just a note higher than a whisper, the remaining people gathering closer; the ever present, underlying thrumming of adrenaline keeping them all up despite the tiredness, pumping in their veins like the idling engine of a war machine.

Finn looks at Poe, sitting right next to Jessica, and Poe looks back at him, smiles. He looks exactly how Finn feels. Strained. Volatile. Upped and downed from the last fight.

The last victory.

By now, al least.

“Hey!” Jessica makes her fingers snap, getting back his attention. “What do you think if we find out who gets to be lucky with you?”

She winks at him, content like a kid playing with a new toy. Finn watches her as she leans forward, making the bottle spin for a second time, feeling suddenly uneasy, wandering why the hell did he agreed to this so fast, especially considering that most likely he is the new toy.

But the thing is- he knows, doesn’t he? The war keeps on going. The war has being going on for decades, and he has being about to die just a few hours ago, a few days ago, a few weeks ago. He’s never known any other way of living that wasn’t in the verge of dying.

And he wants, he wants—

The bottle begins to slow down.

— he wants. A piece, a taste, even a little scrap.

He wants to know. To feel. To taste.

How it is. How it would be. Even if is just for a moment.

That living-like excitement.

The bottle stops.

It points to Poe.

“Well, that’s lucky, indeed” he hears Jessica say, mirth in her voice, but she’s not talking to Finn, she’s talking to Poe. Poe, who huffs a laugh, tilts his head towards her, mutters something to her.

Looks up. At Finn.

And that burnt-caramel-flavored-something must be good because it takes Finn two, three, four seconds to fully realize he’s about to kiss Poe Dameron.

He’s about to kiss his damn best friend.

And now, it’s Finn’s heart’s turn to start spinning.

“You got to go to the center of the circle” Rose says, bumping against his side, “That’s where the kissing happens” and Finn thinks I know, says, “I Know”

He breathes. Hard.

Crawls to the center of the circle.

And that’s when people starts whistling and cheering and whooping. And he feels like the stupidest man alive, just standing there, waiting, while Poe gets slowly on his fours, while Poe crawls towards him.

While Poe goes to meet him there.

He kneels in front of Finn, expresion amused, shaking his arms up and down, up and down, always the showman, always the natural epicenter of whatever rampage is happening around. C’mon, you gotta really ask for it! He says, half a scream, half a laugh, making the crowd get crazy around them.

And Finn really, really, thought it would be fun, he thought it would be just a little careless post-battle drunk stupidity. Kissing a stranger, trying how it feels, how it would be. But suddenly he doesn’t know what to do, or if he should (because it’s Poe, it’s fucking Poe), so he says:

“We don’t have to do it if you don’t want to”

“And let all this people down?” Poe smirks, raising an eyebrow, eyes not alcohol-bright, eyes Poe Dameron bright, drunk with the attention, with the excitement; with the we got out alive that is fueling all of them tonight, that’s burning inside all of them. Dangerous and flammable, like gasoline.

And Finn knows that look, knows it so, so well.

It’s a audacious look, a reckless look.

“Besides. It’s just a kiss” says Poe.

And he sounds just a little teasing, just a little cocky.

He sounds that way that always makes Finn wanna dare, even if he really, really shouldn’t.

“Unless you think you can’t handle it”

And Finn should know better than get carried away by that, but—

That look. It is contagious.

“Oh, don’t worry about me. I don’t think there’s that much to handle” he replies, and Poe laughs, surprised, delighted, something in his eyes that makes Finn feel the same way as when Poe hugs him, like there’s something about Finn that is worth keeping.

And well, that’s just what it is, he thinks, only a kiss.

Fun. Stupid. Careless.

So Finn breathes in, breathes out. Leans in and kisses him.

Soft. Warm. A hot-beat of the heart. Breathes Poe in, breathes Poe out.

And it’s over.

The crowd screams, claps, Jessica yells “That can’t be all you got, Dameron!” and Poe is smiling so close to Finn’s mouth that it feels like a taste.

It makes Finn feel daring, it makes Finn feel reckless.

He says:

“Was it all that you got?” and Poe’s smile opens up, becomes bold where it curves around his teeth, their mouths so close Finn can taste it.

“I was just being careful” he says, voice sweet, “but I guess you don’t need that”

And then–

Poe takes his lower lip, between his lips, lets it slide, wet, slippery-hot. Poe’s mouth over his mouth, lips grazing at his skin, slow like nothing else’s about him is slow, and so lightlightlight that it feels wild.

And then–

Poe lets go, draws away. Looks at Finn, and his eyes are wild, too, bright, and alive, and Finn’s heart feels like a ravenous thing, an insatiable thing, long time starved.

“You can breathe now, buddy” Poe whispers.

Finn swallows.

“Takes a little more to make me breathless”

“Does it?” he asks, sounding so full of himself, and Finn has to force that raw feeling in his heart to go down, has to cage it before it can reach his eyes, before it can bare itself out for everyone to see.

For Poe to see.

Poe self-satisfied smirk doesn’t waver while he comes back to his place, while he runs a hand through his hair, glances at Finn with ease, with that-kind-of-something he always looks at Finn with, as if they’ve just performed some kind of crazy stunt, some kind of shared mischief, and that look–

That look.

“That was-” says Rose when he sits next to her again, her voice breaking to poorly contained laugher.

Finn’s mouth tastes alcohol-sweet, skin-warmth-sweet. Tastes like Poe’s.

“Just a kiss” he ends, not meeting her eyes, feeling the way she’s trying to find his.

“That’s not what I was gonna say” she replies, but doesn’t add anything more, and Finn doesn’t ask her.

xxxx

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happybeeps-nat · 4 years

Text

Finnpoe Week 2020 - day 3: office AU and/or soulmate AU

an event by the wonderful @finnpoeevents

I Have Loved You For A Thousand Years

The Nomad continued. “If you live to be as old as I am, you will see life, and you will see death, and you will see that exact life again. It is a cycle. Life is a lot like the Starbird -- whenever it seems to be gone, it is merely renewing itself in the heart of a nova. All through time and space, two souls bound together by the strings of love will always find their way back to each other. They will find each other every time. You.” They seemed to look right at Poe then. “You are afraid of losing. Not the war, but him. And I am telling you, you cannot lose him. That is impossible. You always find him. You never lose him, not completely. You never have, and you never will.”

(or, a rather unconventional soulmate AU)

Rating: mature

Warning: major character death

Words: 5615

Characters: Poe Dameron, Finn (Star Wars)

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Freeform, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Poe Dameron Is A Mess, just give my boy a hug please, Protective Finn (Star Wars), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, i gave myself the feels yoo, bending star wars lore to my will and nobody can stop me, Finnpoe week 2020, Additional Warnings In Author's Note

Read on AO3

A long time ago in a Galaxy far away, on an insignificant moon

It was very rare that Finn and Poe found themselves with a bit of time to spare on a mission, but for once, the odds didn’t seem stacked against them. Leia had sent them on a diplomatic mission to find some old friends of hers and gather support for what little of the Resistance was left. Maker knew they needed every bit of help they could get.

Poe had been stressed out of his mind lately, his guilt and the weight of the entire Galaxy heavy on his shoulders, wearing him down. Sometimes even breathing was hard, let alone looking at himself in the mirror. He still believed in what they were doing, what they were fighting for. Of course he did! With everything he was! But some days he forgot that he was still Poe Dameron, human, not just Poe Dameron, Commander of the Resistance and Leia’s most trusted soldier.

He had Finn, though, who loved to remind him of the former. Finn who just had to take a look at him and immediately knew what he needed. Finn who would smile at him when nobody else would. Finn. The one he was still fighting this war for, because fighting for everyone just wasn’t enough sometimes. Finn. His light in the never-ending darkness of war.

“Hey, don’t leave me here,” the man whispered, approaching Poe with a soft, but knowing expression.

“Sorry,” Poe sighed, coming out of his head and reaching for Finn’s hand.

“Where’d you go?” Finn asked, taking Poe’s hand in his and pressing a kiss to his fingertips. There was a smear of oil still there that was too stubborn to be scrubbed off. Finn didn’t seem to mind, though, and Poe smiled, feeling like he could breathe again.

“Just…” he searched for the words, but couldn’t find any. So he said the next best thing on his mind, constantly in the back of his head, joining him wherever he went. “I love you.”

Finn smiled at him and kissed his fingertips again before pulling Poe up from where he was still sitting in the pilot’s seat. He wrapped his arms around Poe as soon as he stood and held him close. Poe closed his eyes and just breathed him in, tucking his head under Finn’s chin and burying his hands under the jacket Finn had stolen from him. His hands were always cold when he thought about the war, like his body thought it was dead already. Finn’s warmth and his wonderful scent reminded him that he was alive, though.

A kiss was pressed against the crown of his head and another one against his temple, before Finn pulled back way too soon for Poe’s liking.

“The general said we should take the rest of the evening to ourselves,” he murmured, pulling Poe close again just because he could. “Wanna go outside, take a walk with me?”

“Can we really do that?” There were several bounties on their heads, he was sure. They shouldn’t just go walking around aimlessly. No matter how much he wanted to take Finn’s hand and go explore this little world. He wanted to show him every world he knew, but that was just another item on the ever-growing list of things they’d never get to do. Not before the war was over. And Poe was sure he was not going to survive that long.

“Maz knows these people apparently, says they’re safe.”

“Of course she does,” Poe huffed against Finn’s chest. Maz was a miracle and he was eternally grateful she was on their side. "Alright, yeah. Let's go. I think I saw preparations for a bonfire earlier."

"I've never seen one of those," Finn smiled.

"I'll show you then." Because he could do this. He could take one item off that list and make Finn's world a little brighter.

It was still pretty early in standard time measurements but night had fallen already. The night was illuminated by small luminescent bugs flying around them and Poe saw how Finn’s eyes got huge at the sight of them.

“What’s that?” he asked, absolutely in awe at the wonders life still had to offer.

“We call them fireflies on Yavin. Lightning bugs. They’re not around for long, I think, so we’re pretty lucky to see them.”

“It’s beautiful!” Finn breathed, smiling and hooking his arm around Poe’s.

It really was. The lighting bugs made it seem like the air around them was glittering, like they were in a magic, peaceful world suddenly instead of a Galaxy that wanted them dead. They walked up the hill they’d been on earlier, guided by the light of a bonfire they could make out burning on the top of it.

Nobody was around, it was only the two of them for a moment, and Poe could pretend. Pretend they were alright, safe, happy. Pretend like death wasn’t lurking around the corner. Pretend like they had a future, pretend like he had hope. His throat closed up and he really just wanted to hold Finn close, keep him safe and never let him go. But there were forces bigger than him. There was the Force, always bigger than him. So all he could do was slip his arm around Finn’s waist and lean on him as they continued walking.

“After the war,” Finn began, and Poe felt about ready to cry. “After everything, you gotta take me here again, and then I’m gonna catch a firefly and we’re gonna have a bonfire and some of that booze they offered us earlier. Can we do that?” He sounded so hopeful, so happy, so in awe. Poe couldn’t possibly say no.

“Of course.” Anything for you. “Though I’m not making any promises, that booze smelled disgusting.”

“That’s how you know it’s good, though,” Finn nudged him, using Poe’s words from a lifetime ago against him. He’d been the one who introduced Finn to alcohol all this time ago.

“If you say so,” he huffed and allowed a small smile to play across his lips.

As they reached the top of the hill Poe found that the bonfire was huge. Bigger than the ones he’d seen on Yavin on the Future Fest where they would burn old, dead trees and dried bushes and whatever else was around and then use the ashes to fertilise the next harvest. Building their future life on past death. Letting death not be in vain…

That might have gotten a bit too real there. He didn’t know when he lost control of his mind, when his thoughts had begun spiralling out of control. But that was usually what fires did. Ever since he was a little boy, he couldn’t look at fires and not get lost in the flames of the Future Fest. And then he started seeing the flames in space in a far less controlled and peaceful way, and sometimes le lost himself in those flames, too. He could see them when he closed his eyes, and he could see them right now. There were faces in the flames, voices, they were screaming for him, he had to do something, get them out, get them out of the flames, get away from the flames, just--

“You’re okay, Poe. You’re safe, you’re with me, I’ve got you. We’re safe on a hill we just climbed and you’re alive, you’re okay. I love you, Poe. Breathe with me, please.”

Another voice. Not in the flames but next to him, in front of him, hands on his face. Finn. Soft, sweet, strong, brave Finn. Wonderful Finn, breathing with him, dragging him from the flames. Away from the flames and into the crook of his neck, breathing in Finn instead of ashes, burnt metal and flesh. Breathing in safety and love and home instead of war and death.

“Breathe,” Finn whispered, pressing Poe’s hand to his chest and breathing just a little more audible than was necessary, grounding Poe in the moment along with him.

In. Out. Wait. In. Out. Wait. When the feeling of numbness disappeared from his limbs and he felt like Finn didn’t need to support him anymore, he pulled back slightly but didn’t let go of Finn. He never wanted to let go of Finn, and he knew that thought was pathetic and a residual anxiety of his episode just now, but it was true all the same.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, looking at their joined hands still resting on Finn’s chest, watching their movement, watching the proof that Finn was here, breathing, alive. Because if Finn was, then so was he. “Thanks,” he breathed eventually, as mesmerised by their hands as he was by the flames.

“It’s okay, Poe,” Finn said without a hint of hesitation and pressed a kiss against Poe’s forehead.

Poe swallowed, feeling pathetic and guilty and ashamed. “I didn’t think it would trigger me. I’m sorry. I wanted you to enjoy this.” He felt miserable. As a kid, he used to love bonfires, and even on D’Qar they would have them every now and then to boost the morale with a peaceful moment. He’d been okay then. He thought he’d be okay. But he was more damaged than he’d thought, and he was beginning to realise that.

“I am enjoying it. It’s warm, it’s bright, there are sparks in every colour travelling up to the night sky. It’s beautiful, Poe,” Finn said, pulling him in again and wrapping his arms around him. Poe made himself smaller, allowing himself to be vulnerable because this was Finn, and nobody here knew them anyway and beings were cuddling all around them. He could have this. He could let themselves enjoy this while it lasted. “And I have you,” Finn mumbled eventually with a smile evident in his voice as he tightened his arms around Poe.

Poe rolled his eyes. “Sap,” he huffed but rubbed his cheek against Finn’s chest, closing his eyes and breathing him in. He felt safe in Finn’s arms and his heart was beginning to calm down for real now. It was a miracle to him how Finn managed to do that every time, but from what he had told him, Poe had the same effect on him, too. So maybe they were just deeply in sync. A beautiful thought that made him smile.

They stood there for a while, arms around each other in a tight embrace, Finn’s chin resting on top of Poe’s head, Poe breathing at the same time Finn did. Fingers were dancing across his back where Finn was drawing mindless patterns. With the bonfire behind him warming his back and Finn warming his front, all traces of the cool night breeze were gone, and all Poe could feel was warmth and Finn.

I love him, he thought. “I love you,” he said, because as long as he was alive, nothing was going to stop him from saying that.

Finn hummed and tightened his arms for a moment, nuzzling Poe’s curls, and that was just infinitely cuter than anything he could have said as a response, and it made Poe’s heart swell in his chest.

It was peaceful, that moment. Poe wanted to catch it and keep it safe forever, make sure he could never forget it, that it would never get tainted. He wanted his life to be about moments like this, not about war.

So he tightened his hold on Finn and let every single emotion wash over him where he was safe in Finn’s arms and could let himself feel small without any judgment.

They walked around for a bit, up and down the hills, hand in hand, not talking but taking in everything that was to see. It was beautiful here, the fireflies dancing through the air, not at all perturbed by the beings mingling around the colourful bonfires. They must have done something to the wood to make the flames this colourful, Poe thought, but in the end, what did he know about bonfires and flames and chemicals and rituals? He was just a pilot. He created the fire, he did not control it.

He didn’t want to look at the flames but he tried again and again because he knew Finn liked them. Finn didn’t get panic attacks like he did, Finn was in control, Finn was better than him, Finn was good . So Poe tried, for his sake, too look at the fire and see the beauty there, feel the warmth, concentrate on the colours and the sparks and the fireflies instead of what flames meant on every other day.

There was one, a smaller, light blue bonfire on a secluded hill, and there were less people here. Poe actually felt like he could breathe here, mesmerised by the flames but not in a bad way. He sat down on the ground and tugged on Finn’s hand so he would sit down right beside him. Leaning against Finn, their hands clasped in Poe’s lap, both of Poe’s hands around Finn’s right, he let the breeze of the night and the warmth of the fire wash over him, trying not to lose this sense of calm.

Someone was telling a story in the native tongue that Poe couldn’t understand but that sounded so melodious and enthralling that they found themselves listening closely anyway.

Hours might have passed like this, but maybe it was only minutes before the story ended and beings came and left, new stories were told and songs being sung, all while Poe was looking at the light blue flames dancing slowly across the wood.

“My dear friends,” someone said in a deep, hoarse voice, and Poe was so surprised at the sudden shift to Basic that he looked up from where his head was resting on Finn’s shoulder to see if there was someone speaking to them.

Indeed, across from them there was a being, a species Poe had never seen before, looking right at him. Or, well, at least Poe had the feeling that they were looking right at them, because there were no eyes that would indicate such a thing. So maybe he was hallucinating? Paranoid to be discovered on a moon that Maz had deemed safe and friendly and so insignificant that even Maz had only heard about it two decades ago?

Finn was stirring as well, though, so he totally hadn’t imagined it. He sat up straight, ignoring the crick in his neck, and looked back at the being.

What looked like a mouth pulled up in a grotesque imitation of a smile, but it didn’t look evil. Just… old. Like a thousands of years old version of Maz Kanata, in light green.

“It is good to see you again,” they said without moving their lips.

Poe felt the hairs on his neck rising, the sensation of being watched and not finding the watcher. He frowned.

“Do you mean us?” he asked.

The smile grew wider. “Of course.”

He looked at Finn who just briefly raised his shoulder in a weak indication of a shrug.

“Um,” Poe started. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think we’ve met?”

The feeling of calm left his body and he was preparing for a fight. Against what or whom, he didn’t know, but he didn’t like this.

The being regarded them, inclined their head slightly and then opened their mouth to let out a soft, “Oh. You are right, we have not. Not in this time and place, I am afraid.” The basic was not exactly broken, but there was an underlying accent to it that didn’t sound like anything Poe knew. It sounded just as old as the being looked, and Poe had a bad feeling about this. The smile was still in place, though, and for some reason that made this whole situation a bit better.

“I am called the Nomad,” the being said after a pause that Poe liked to fill with confused silence. “In fact, I believe it was your kind who gave me that name.”

“Our kind?” Poe asked.

The Nomad nodded their head slowly. “Yes, yours. The souls, the wanderers, the lovers. Your kind.”

It was funny, Poe thought, how every answer prompted even more questions.

“Well, Nomad, it is nice to meet you,” Finn said beside him but for all the polite front, Poe could hear the touch of suspicion in his voice that he could strongly relate to.

“It is a pleasure every time,” they said.

Well, that didn’t make things weird at all, huh?

Beside him, Finn got to his feet, holding his hand out for Poe to grab. “Sorry, but I think we should leave,” he said. Poe nodded and grabbed the offered hand, ready to pull himself up and leave when the Nomad spoke again.

“You need not be afraid, dear friends. Like always, death will not do you part.”

They said it with such a level of casualness that Poe froze and frowned at them once more. “What?”

“Poe, come on,” Finn urged and tugged on his hand.

“What do you mean?” Poe asked again, ignoring Finn beside him.

“You are scared. Afraid. That is an old feeling I know very well and I see it as clearly in your eyes as I see the flames of the fire. When you are as old as me, you see the same eyes in different people,” they said, and Finn froze beside him for some reason that Poe couldn’t quite understand. “Fear is an old feeling. But my dear friends, yours is a tale as old as time itself.”

Finn sat down again, closer to Poe in a way that he was sort of shielding him.

The Nomad continued, “Two beings, lost, but on the right path. One is guided by the Force, the other by his own sense of what is right. Bound forever by a bond that will survive it all. Space, time, war. Nothing can get in the way of the love you share. Even death does not stand a chance.”

Poe looked at them with suspicion clear in his eyes. He didn’t have time for this. “So is this a Love Conquers All kinda story?” He scoffed. “Sorry, but-”

“You never believe me,” the Nomad said. “But that never stops me. It is important for me to tell you, to make you understand that,” they paused. “If you live to be as old as I am, you will see life, and you will see death, and you will see that exact life again. It is a cycle. Life is a lot like the Starbird -- whenever it seems to be gone, it is merely renewing itself in the heart of a nova. All through time and space, two souls bound together by the strings of love will always find their way back to each other. They will find each other every time. You .” They seemed to look right at Poe then. “You are afraid of losing. Not the war, but him. And I am telling you, you cannot lose him. That is impossible. You always find him. You never lose him, not completely. You never have, and you never will.”

Only distantly was Poe aware that he was shaking, that he was gripping Finn’s hand in an iron grip, that the Nomad knowing exactly what he was afraid of felt a lot like Kylo Ren being back in his mind. Prodding, searching, knowing . It felt a lot like Poe was losing again, like he was exposed, and-

“Poe. Poe, love, look at me.” Finn grabbed his head and tugged him in, made Poe bury his face against his neck, breathe him in and calm down, drive him away from Kylo Ren, away from the Nomad and back ro Finn. Always back to Finn.

He couldn’t lose Finn. Please, not Finn. He couldn’t lose him.

“Shhh, you’re not losing me. I’m right here, right here beside you. I’ve got you, Poe. I love you.” Finn’s soft voice was right by his ear, calming him, anchoring him, holding him together in a world that wanted nothing more but to rip him apart.

They were walking. Or Finn was, Poe couldn’t tell if he was walking, wasn’t sure, didn’t care. All he knew is that he was still clinging to Finn, his eyes closed, this limbs numb and his hands still shaking where they were gripping his jacket.

He was pathetic. How exactly did he manage to become a Commander of the Resistance, how the hell did he become the best damn pilot in the Galaxy when his hands were shaking like leaves in a slight breeze? None of this made sense. Nothing. He just wanted to lie down and hold Finn and sleep and never let him go, never lose him, never-

Finn stopped and pulled him in, wrapped his arms around him and held on. They were in the Falcon again, alone, the hatch closed behind them and creating a bubble world that was only theirs. A bubble where Finn kissed him until he stopped shaking, a world where Finn undressed him and Poe returned the favour until they could lie down together and just exist.

Looking at Finn where he lay across from him, their legs tangled, their hands wandering idly, Poe was daydreaming again. Dreaming of a world where they got to have this. Where they’d win the war and survive it, where they’d get to wrap their arms around each other, where Poe could bury his face in Finn’s shoulder and not let go of him until they’d spot Rey and make sure she was okay, too. Because she would be. There was a version where they got to have this. But this was not it. Poe knew that. He didn’t know how he knew it, it was more of a feeling, but not at all like the Force.

He sighed, grabbing Finn’s hand and playing with his fingers. The Nomad’s words were still echoing inside his skull, burned into his brain with traces of everlasting confusion. “Do you believe it?”

“I don’t know. You?”

Poe shrugged and looked down at their hands, escaping the eyes that would look right through him. Like the Nomad had. Like apparently every single being was able to. No, no, let’s not go there!

Finn sighed softly and continued. “I want to. I mean, think about it. It sounds so peaceful how they said it. And the thought of dying in this war and then getting the chance to be with you again? The thought that, maybe in the past, we’ve been in love before? It sounds a lot like destiny.”

Poe just barely managed not to scoff, but it was a close thing. Still, he couldn’t keep all the bitterness out of his voice. “Like it’s our destiny to die together?”

“Maybe. But I meant that this,” Finn closed his fingers around Poe’s and pulled them to his lips where he pressed a soft kiss to the back of Poe’s hand, “is always what it comes down to. Every path I take, every choice I make, it always ends here.”

Finn sounded so sure. So hopeful. So alive, that Poe couldn’t help but smile to himself. He didn’t know what it was about him, but something apparently made Finn feel like Poe was it , like Poe was his endgame not only for a moment but on a universal scale. His heart warmed where it had felt ice cold in his chest for the better part of the night.

It always ends here, Finn had said. “But never really ends,” Poe murmured, reaching out with a finger to stroke Finn’s cheek. That was what the Nomad had implied.

“Yeah,” Finn nodded.

They fell into a thoughtful silence that lasted until Poe broke it again. “It might be just a story, in the end.”

“Maybe. But it’s a good one. And for what it’s worth, I’m glad I found you.”

Tears were welling up in his eyes again and he moved in to kiss Finn, to hide his tears and his heavy heart and his utter hopelessness in Finn’s arms for nobody else to see. The kiss turned heated, desperate, Poe needed to feel him, to know he was there, to know this was true and that they were alive. Finn made love to him, taking the time they rarely had, and made Poe believe that he was worthy of every bit of love and affection.

Afterwards, Finn held him close, Poe’s head resting on his chest, and in the silence of the Falcon he asked the question that made Poe’s blood run cold with shame. “You don’t think we’re gonna survive this, do you?” There was no judgment, no shaming him, it wasn’t even a question really. It was just Finn knowing Poe inside and out.

Poe shook his head after a while. “Nope.”

Finn sighed deeply and nodded, never stopping the hand that was stroking through Poe’s hair. “Can I still believe that we’ll make it, though?” He sounded unsure, almost insecure, like he was actually doubting whether he had the right to hope.

Poe frowned. “Of course!” he turned and pressed a kiss to Finn’s chest before leaning back on his forearm to look him in the eyes. “Please do. I’m just-”

“Don’t say you’re being stupid. You’re not!”

“I was gonna say tired,” Poe lied with a grin. Well, technically it wasn’t a lie. Just that his tiredness could not be cured with a good night’s sleep. Although he had nothing against trying to find out.

“Then let’s go get some sleep,” Finn said with a knowing smile, leaning up to steal a proper kiss before tugging Poe along for a detour to the ‘fresher before they could finally get some rest.

Little did either of them know this was going to be the last moment of real peace either of them would have. Just a few days later they found themselves be called generals and trying desperately to save the Galaxy from the Final Order. Everyone looked to Poe for guidance, and Poe looked to Finn, and Finn looked right ahead like always. Finn had hope. Finn believed they could win. There was not one universe in which Poe could have done this without Finn, and he was once again so glad they had found each other when they did.

And then, the Nomad’s words in his head again, he jumped into his X-Wing one last time.

He was hit. His thrust engines were malfunctioning and a very aggressive beeping sound made him get a headache. The transparisteel window was cracked and hat taken a few hits with all the debris flying around, but it held out. Just a bit longer, and he’d be good. Just a bit longer and he could be a hero. Just a bit longer and he could shoot that final Star Destroyer out of the sky, hoping desperately that his blasters and cannons would hold out.

Poe wanted to call out to BB-8, but his astromech wasn’t with him, was somewhere safe instead. BB-8 would survive and be so mad at Poe for dying out here like this, without saying goodbye, without letting himself be tasered and insulted in binary one last time. Without letting BB-8 try and save him.

But he had Finn on the other side of his comm, and probably everyone else still listening, still fighting on the other side, fighting the army of Tie Fighters while Finn and his squad along with Poe and black squadron had taken up the army of Star Destroyers. It had been a good plan. Only one Star Destroyer was left because of Jannah’s genius and FInn’s bravery.

“Finn?” he called out with a shaking voice, his hands clamping on the joystick, trying and failing to reactivate his shields. He had no shields, no thrust engines, no functioning astromech behind him. He was shaking. Trying to concentrate, trying to blink away the tears, trying to breathe right, trying to get through to Finn. Where was Finn? A few minutes ago Finn had been shot, the same moment that Poe’s engines had been hit, and then everything escalated. They lost touch over the comms, too focused on trying to survive. He needed to know that Finn was still there, though.

There was static on the other end, a crackling sound, then he could hear Finn again, sounding as breathless as Poe felt. “Yeah. Jannah made it back safe, Poe. We did it. We won.”

“We did, buddy.” Poe smiled, sobbed as he heard Finn’s voice, nodded as he took aim at the blaster cannons of the last, immobile Star Destroyer. Jannah made it back safe. “Finn. Did you get away?”

“No,” Poe heard distant blaster shots and knew that Finn was still on that Star Destroyer that was lined up as his target.

“Finn,” Poe pleaded but was interrupted by a turbulence and then an explosion of one of his engines that sent him spiralling through the air. “Finn,” he said, more like a statement and with less desperation. He was desperate. He was scared because he was going to die, Finn was going to die, he was going to lose him. Forever.

“Think they’re gonna miss us?” Finn asked over the comm. It was hard to hear him over the beating of his heart and the sound of his own erratic breathing.

“Hell no,” Poe laughed. He laughed and he couldn’t stop, he was going mad, he was going to die. In three minutes, tops. “They’re gonna be glad they won’t have to deal with our bickering anymore. They’ll have to find someone new to voice everyone’s complaints, though, I can’t do the job anymore.”

“I’m sure they will,” Finn rasped over the sound of more blaster shots. Stupid Order, still fighting back like it meant something.

“Yeah,” Poe said, just to avoid silence. Just to let them keep talking. Just to stay alive and sane as long as he could. He tried again to take aim at the Star Destroyer, his X-Wing still hurtling through the sky like it was a toy being thrown across the room. His thrusters were clicking, groaning, trying to come back to life, but there was no hope. No hope. Figured. He gave up. Someone else could blow up the damn Star Destroyer, he could be the failure he’d always been and just be there for Finn. The only one he couldn’t fail.

“It hurts, Poe,” he groaned, sounding way too small and way too weak for Poe’s liking.

He shook his head uselessly, tears running down his face as his eyes fell on the picture of Finn he kept in his X-Wing, tucked nect to the thruster control. He looked at the picture instead of the ground coming closer and closer.

“Ssh, it’ll be over soon. You’re great, you’re so great, Finn. Best damn fighter in the Resistance.”

“That’s not true.”

Poe suppressed a sob. “Yes it is. I’m the General, you gotta listen to me, okay?”

“Okay,” FInn breathed, barely audible. “Hey Poe?” he tried again after a while.

“Hmm?” He was still looking at the picture of Finn, ignoring the proximity alert and impact warning, just another set of beeps over all the others.

“Thanks for finding me.”

Poe’s heart broke and he didn’t want to talk about this, but he couldn’t say no to Finn now. Instead he said what was on his mind, let himself indulge in the fantasy, in the Nomad’s words, in the idea that one day he would wake up and it would the be day that he found Finn. Or rather, where Finn found him. “Pretty sure it was you who found me, buddy.”

“Then thanks for letting me find you.” He could hear Finn’s faint smile over the comm now and didn’t even try to hide his sobs now.

“Thank you for looking, Finn.”

He moved his eyes away from the picture when the impact warning began to give him a count of 20, 19, 18-

“So. Will you find me again?” Finn asked, his voice weak, faded, but no doubt hearing the countdown on Poe’s end and not wanting him to be alone now.

Poe nodded even though Finn couldn’t see him. “In every galaxy, in every life, in every peace or war, I will find you. I promise.”

9, 8, 7

“I will find you, too. I love you.”

“I love you.”

2, 1, ---

Now, Planet Earth

It was late afternoon and Poe only stopped to grab a coffee at Organa’s , where they gave him a broad smile in addition to excellent beverages, when he saw him. A bit younger than Poe, sitting in the back of the café curled up on an armchair, doodling in his notebook while completely ignoring the open textbook glaring at him. He was drawing something that looked like... a phoenix framed with light blue flames, when he suddenly looked up and their eyes met.

For what felt like the first time in his life, Poe could take a breath again. He was flooded with an overwhelming sensation he couldn’t quite put his finger on. It just felt… right. He completely forgot about his coffee, about the time, about manners, about everything.

Instead, he smiled at the stranger and found him smiling back, a curious expression on his face, like maybe he felt the same sensation?

“Hi,” Poe breathed.

“Hi,” the stranger replied, finishing the phoenix drawing before looking back at Poe with a spark in his eyes. And just like that, the stars aligned themselves.

Somewhere, in a galaxy far away, a starbird was reborn.

#finnpoeweek20 #finnpoe #stormpilot #angst wirh a happy ending #soulmate au #nat writes #i come to serve you all the feels #i'm sorry for this lol #panic attacks #nobody is okay and neither am i

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primasveraas-writing · 4 years

Text

This is Home

Request: “Finnpoe where Finn keeps slipping into First Order habits/has culture shock with the Resistance?”

Thanks for sending this in!

Ship/drabble requests are open!

WORD COUNT: 2855

XXX

Finn knows he was reborn the day he left the First Order.

Out of blood and pain, he reentered the world. He was given a name. He was held in the embrace of friends who would become family, and the moment they saw him, they loved him.

He was struck down, and he awoke again, taking teetering, unsteady steps as he relearned how to walk. There was fire and water and darkness as he stumbled confusedly on the ship until he ran into Poe, and the universe began to make sense again.

And Finn was reborn.

Yet the past never left him. The sensation of freedom, at last, overtook him- a weight off his chest, blissful as he’d never known before. Finn wasn’t sure if it was rational to expect complete liberation when the ideals of the First Order were so deeply ingrained within him, but he was given a new life and a new identity to make his own.

If he was reborn, then FN-2187 is the ghost that haunts his every step.

On a surface level, everything is fine. He has friends, Poe and Rey, and the whole of the Resistance seems to welcome him with open arms. He is free to do as he pleases, so long as he pitches in around the base, and he doesn’t have to fight in combat unless he chooses to. He has full meals three times a day, and people who smile at him when he passes in the hall. On their new base, he can go outside and smell the fresh air and explore the natural world.

Every morning, Finn wakes up at 0600. It’s the same time the claxon went off in the First Order barracks, and true to his earliest memories, his eyes open routinely, even before the sun dawns over Ajan Kloss. Since duties don't start until 0700 or 0800, depending on rank, Finn watches the sun rise through his window, and tries not to think about how for the first time in his life, he has a window to call his own. He has his own private quarters, and they are deathly silent each day.

Regardless, Finn dresses promptly, then turns to face the light. The sun hasn’t yet crept through the trees into his room, but he knows it will soon. He glances at the chronometer sitting on his bedside table. Yesterday, the sun rose at 0641, the first beams coming through the window slowly, almost one by one. Today, he waits for the sun to rise just a few minutes later.

This is how Finn bides his time, counting minutes of sunlight because he cannot escape a lifetime of conditioning.

At 0705, Finn rises, stretching his limbs, which are aching after an hour of sitting idly. Poe rises at 0700, and Finn has quickly learned that his friend is someone who can be considered a "morning person." It's a choice, apparently, to wake early and be productive at the start of the day. They make a habit of eating together before much of the base has come to life. In this sense, they are unique: few others willingly wake so early. Even Poe’s activity and enthusiasm are special, but Finn discovers that this is due to his two cups of caf taken daily in the morning. Even so, he's still brighter than Jessika, who refuses to talk until her first cup is empty, consumed slowly and accompanied with tired, sulky eyes.

Poe greets him loudly, smiling wide and clapping the other man on the back. Finn can’t help but respond just as happily, although it’s dampened with exhaustion, even after being awake for just one hour. Poe doesn’t notice, however, or attributes it to the normalcy of life during the war. Either way, Finn is glad no one else knows. He hasn’t told anyone of his sleeplessness, that he can betray the First Order but not shake them in his daily habits.

When they get to the mess, Poe heaps his plate with food, gleefully exclaiming about the freshness of a new dish that has appeared among the standard breakfast options. Finn takes small portions of a few staples, remembering how his stomach ached when he ate too much rich food immediately after joining the Resistance.

Jessika is already at their usual table, glowering at Poe when he says good morning. After Finn asks her why she’s up so early, she tosses back her dark hair, preparing to unload her grievances.

“Someone assigned me training duty,” she says, pointing a finger accusingly at Poe, who only grins in response. “I’m teaching a few new recruits the x-wing basics.” And although she rolls her eyes to puncuate this statement, Finn knows that she doesn’t really mind, aside from requiring an extra cup of caf and some pretend sympathy for the lost hour of rest.

The female pilot sighs, returning to her plate and half-emptied mug. She looks at Finn and shakes her head. “Man, I cannot understand how you don’t eat more. I wake up and I’m starving.” Almost to emphasize her point, she shovels a pile of eggs into her mouth decorously.

“Charming, Pava,” Poe says, snorting. Finn chuckles too, ignoring the sensation of his stomach dropping into the floor. The food provided by the Resistance is far more than he’s used to- so much more than the First Order had ever allotted for their soldiers. It was never enough then, but it didn’t matter. Their job was to function, not to be satisfied.

Still, Finn considers taking more food. His portioning had led to embarrassment one day when his stomach had growled loudly during a Resistance meeting. Most paid him no mind, but Poe, standing next to him, had offered Finn a ration bar, furthering the heat already burning Finn’s cheeks. He had promptly refused, ashamed that his body had ousted his hunger. He was already receiving plenty of food; he shouldn’t need even more.

Despite his thoughts, the meal continues, the pilots beside Finn drawing him out of his reverie. They are a reminder; he is a part of them now, but Finn does not get up to add more food to his plate. He starts the day still hungry.

Most of the day passes normally; by now he knows to smile at his fellow Resistance members in the hall and relax his posture when he walks. Only once does he catch himself looking around in fear of being reprimanded for breaking protocol, but he manages to remember where he is and the right way to behave. He attends a strategy meeting, laughs with his friends, and as the day continues, the knot of anxiety in his stomach begins to unwind.

It’s clearly fine, and Finn tries to show it. Most of the time, Finn doesn’t even feel his heart beating out of his chest; the fact that he can disregard it demonstrates his progress. Even when his voice falters midconversation, after missing Snap’s layered sarcasm minutes into a debate, he recovers quickly enough that they all can laugh and move on. Finn laughs the loudest, failing to notice how Poe refrains, moving slightly closer to his friend.

It’s been a good day, Finn decides, with significantly fewer blunders made than the day before. Finn tries to maintain the conversation before he lets himself get lost in review, thinking over what he should have done better. But by the time he’s in the command room, even after the last meal of the day, his mind wanders, and General Organa, made haughty by extended hours, barks out his name suddenly.

Finn instantly stiffens, snapping to attention. His gaze hardens, staring straight ahead, and his heart thuds in his chest, so loudly that he’ll be scolded for that too. His arms are rods at his side, and Finn braces for Phasma’s raised voice-

“Relax, Finn,” the General says softly. Her tone is as gentle as Finn’s ever heard it, mirroring her comforting touch as she reaches out to grasp Finn's shoulder. "We don't do that here. I’m sorry I snapped at you.”

Finn nods, shame burning inside him, fueled by the anxiety that’s made its home within every part of his being. She is looking at him with pity in her eyes, and Finn cannot meet her gaze. Perhaps she realizes this, because she speaks again, this time assuming something closer to her typical conviction.

“To win a battle and to return scarred is still a victory. You have been fighting this battle ever since you got here. Nobody expects you to lose, but no one expects it to be easy, either.” Her words become conversational, as if Finn’s plight were the changing of the seasons. “But one good thing about living on a rebel base is that you’re surrounded by good, patient people. And most of us know a thing or two about change, too.”

She leaves it at that, but her eyes are sparkling. Finn comes back to himself, nodding. That one of the biggest differences between his old life and this new one- he's never felt a mother's gaze until Leia had looked at him, with such an unfamiliar sympathy and love. It's inexplicably wonderful; Finn wants to burst into tears and hug the General all at once. Sometimes he wonders if she would ever let him, but he can't allow himself to ever decide. Instead, he nods again, clearing his throat so he can manage a soft “thank you.”

Leia smiles briefly, then dismisses him for the night, declaring to the whole room that they have free time until duty begins again tomorrow.

***

Weeks pass, and Finn does better. He still doesn’t take more food, but each day, even each hour, he becomes more and more unrecognizable as a First Order trooper. He becomes Finn, who is part of the rebellion all around, born of his friends’ humor, love, and loyalty. It is good, even if he can still sometimes hear his heart pounding in his chest or stiffens whenever an admiral passes by.

At night, he collapses into bed, exhausted from the effort of assimilating into the Resistance. As soon as he’s left off from duty, Finn usually retreats to his quarters, preferring a few moments of peace and quiet to himself, lying on his bed as the world spins around him and he tries to regain a sense of balance between his new life and the one he left behind. He doesn’t wish to go back- of course not- but when he’s exhausted and depleted at the end of the day, he wants something familiar. Which in turn makes him angry, because all that’s ever been familiar was the First Order, and he certainly doesn’t want that. So the cycle continues, and Finn is helpless to it, even if it gets easier day by day. He is still resigned to the hurricane of emotions and tiredness at every quiet moment available to him, when the bustling life in the Resistance slows enough for him to think.

It’s on one of these nights, when Finn is halfway undressed and slumped in bed, that Poe comes knocking on his door. Finn, mostly asleep and lethargically watching the sun set through his window, scrambles to his feet, pulling on a pair of pants frantically.

“Coming!” Finn shouts, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, although his heart is racing enough that he’s fully awake already.

Poe is smiling when the door opens, but it quickly fades upon seeing Finn, wrinkled clothes, messy hair, and all. Tenderly, he reaches out to touch the other man’s shoulder, but Finn fights to keep a smile on his face still.

“Can I come in?”

Finn steps aside, allowing Poe into his quarters, almost regretting it when Poe’s critical eyes sweep over the room, taking in the emptiness of it all, including the bed that has already been slept in that evening.

“Take a breath, Finn,” Poe tells him, managing an easy grin once more. “I was just stopping by.”

Finn nods, relaxing his shoulders and posture, leaning into Poe as he speaks, showing calculated interest beyond his genuine appreciation at Poe’s visit.

“So,” the pilot continues, “is this where you disappear to every night?”

Freezing momentarily, as if he’d been caught, Finn has to remember how to talk. Perhaps Poe realizes this, because he speaks again, his tone gentle.

“I was just worried about you, buddy. I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

Finn shifts uncomfortably, dropping his gaze. “It’s a lot. Every day” His words are timid and painfully soft. “I just want to fit in but it’s all so new.”

Stepping closer to Finn, Poe reaches out to grasp Finn’s arm. “I understand, Finn. But you aren’t alone in this. I know how overwhelming this can be. We’re surrounded by all kinds of beings from around the galaxy during the middle of a war. I know it’s harder for you, but if you ever need anything, just ask.”

Wordlessly, Finn nods, and Poe draws him close, wrapping his arms around Finn’s waist and letting the former stormtrooper bury his face in Poe’s neck.

***

So Finn does ask. In the morning, when Poe offers him a bite of his food, he tries it and asks for more. Not every day, but sometimes. He asks about species of beings he’s never seen before, to try and understand all parts of the Resistance. He asks how he can help, how he can reach out to people he’s never talked to on the base. He asks how to fit in, how he should address his superiors and compose himself during meetings. He asks medics and Poe and everyone he knows who has faced impossible odds and the anxiety that comes with it on how to find and keep calm. He asks for help when he doesn’t understand something, even after the relevant moment has passed, because Poe is always there afterward, his eyes kind and knowing, and Finn learns that Poe will never stop being there for him. It is gradual and slow, but soon enough, Finn isn’t embarrassed or afraid anymore, to need Poe’s help and patience, and life becomes easier.

So Finn later asks, only partially shy, if he can kiss Poe.

(Poe says yes.)

Then Poe is there, in the early hours, when Finn wakes before dawn. His boyfriend is a light sleeper; as soon as Finn stirs in in his arms, Poe rises too. At first, they start their day together, beginning their daily duties hours earlier, but as time goes on, and Finn feels more at home in Poe’s embrace, he stays in bed longer, even if he can’t fall asleep again. Until, one day, Finn opens his eyes and sees Poe smiling above him. Finn is confused, but upon checking the chronometer next to him, he realizes that it is far past 0600. This does not happen the next day, nor the one after that, but it is the start of a gradual change, one that will continue through to the rest of his life.

They share a cup of caf after, especially when it becomes routine for Poe to wake Finn, despite the latter's grumpy protests. Finn starts by sipping the dark beverage, made strong and without sugary additives, even though it's far too bitter for Finn's preferences. Poe laughs at him when his nose wrinkles at the flavor, but he doesn't mind it when their kisses shortly thereafter still have the lingering warmth and taste of the drink.

Finn discovers his favorite food, a dish made from exotic fruits. The recipe has been passed on from Shara Bey to her son, who recreates it for Finn after a particularly bountiful supply run, and all Finn wants is more, a thousand more lazy afternoons watching Poe cook and mutter to himself in languages from Yavin IV, and kissing Finn periodically as he does it all.

They hold hands in the hall, and Finn finds himself grinning back at his friends, heat flushing his cheeks when Poe tells him how beautiful his smile is. That’s new too, the ease with which he can navigate teasing and sarcasm, and he is overjoyed when Black Squadron falls to pieces at one of his jokes.

Leia smiles at him brightly as ever, and after Finn suggests a new strategy, he realizes she's beaming at him. Once the meeting adjourns, she wraps her arm around his shoulder and tells him she's glad he's home. He does get choked up then, turning away so Leia doesn't see the shine in his eyes, but she is merciful enough to squeeze his arm and walk away, leaving the statement hanging in the air, and Finn to his joy and thoughts.

But she’s right, he thinks, as the Resistance celebrates another victory that night. He’s curled in Poe’s arms, watching the flames of the bonfire flicker into the night, listening to the laughter and shouts of joy from the rest of the base as they drink and party with a sense of carefreeness that is surprisingly common here, even during the war.

This is home.

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