I Walk up to a tiny little podium in the middle of nowhere in particular
Taps the microphone
Ahem
Now introducing,
Welcome to the Paraverse
(A parody of Welcome To The Internet by Bo Burnham. Written by Me)
Welcome to the Paraverse!
Have a look around~
Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found!
We've got oodles of NEW content,
Some better, some worse..
If none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the first!
Welcome to the Paraverse!
Come and take a seat,
Would you like to see our theories or some senior citizens meet?
There's no need to panic,
This isn't a test, Haha!
Just pick and choose your path and we'll do the rest.
Welcome to the Paraverse
What would you prefer?
Would you like to make an eldritch god or see some chains occur?
Go this way,
Go that way,
Don't move an inch!
We got a million different ideas to pitch.
Welcome to the Paraverse,
Put your cares aside
Here's some brand new art to steal,
Here's the tenth time Stanley's died.
We got animators, and artists, and fics of all kinds.
And a bunch of colored digital drawings
Of all the different characters in the game making out with each other,
Welcome to the Paraverse,,,
Hold on to your scarfs
'Cause Kevan just tweeted out about sawing little girls in half
It's silly, it's stupid,
He just tweeted more,
Don't act surprised, these tweets are things that you' ve seen before!
See the bucket shredded,
Get offended, see a twink.
Show us pictures of their children,
Make them take the purple drink
Start a rumor, buy a broom
Or call out Thierry as a boomer
Take your oc and then doom her
Join a zoom or make weird humour
Here's a brand new Narrator
You should set that child aflame
Here's why women never loved you
Here's a guide to build your fame
Which in-game character are you?
Take this quirky quiz!
Things made a bug that makes those gay fuckers kiss.
Could I interest you in everything?
All of the time?
A little bit of everything
All of the time
Stairs are now a tragedy
And time-skips are a crime
Anything and everything
All of the time
Could I interest you in everything?
All of the time?
A little bit of everything
All of the time
Stairs are now a tragedy
And time-skips are a crime
Anything and everything
All of the time
You know, it wasn't always like this
Not very long ago
Just before it's prime,
Right before the memory zone, the keeper of time
This was button press
Endless resets
A sad death or two,
We set our sights and spent our nights
Waiting
For you, you, insatiable you
Mommy let you play indie games
You were barely 4'2
And you went through all endings
Which, to you, were brand new,,
Now look at you, oh
Look at you, you, you
Unstoppable, watchable
Your time is now
Your inside's out
Honey, how we knew
And if we stick together
Who knows what we'll do
It was always the plan
To put the decisions in your hands
Hahaha,,HAHhahahHAHAH,,,HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Could I interest you in everything?
All of the time
A bit of everything
All of the time
Stairs are now a tragedy
And time-skips are a crime
Anything and everything
All of the time
Could I interest you in everything?
All of the time
A little bit of everything
All of the time
Stairs are now a tragedy
And time-skips are a crime
Anything and everything
And everythings not ending
And the ending's never ending
And,
All of the time~!
reminder that writing fic about someone playing a character who was a real person is NOT THE SAME as writing fic about the real person. they are two different entities- one is a CHARACTER one is an ACTUAL PERSON.
A friend gifted me one of the lowest-of-low-bar achievements of internet creativity. There is ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY NOTHING redeemable about it, it's 100% terrible and the worst bookshaped garbage I ever had the questionable pleasure reading.