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ackermanshoe · 3 years

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March comes in like a lion, it's Portrayal of toxic & healthy relationship and how to compares rivamika + Ereh

Que the longest title everr 😌✨

So before I start on the actual analysis, I recently started watching March comes in like a lion instead of doing my assignments and I half way through season 2. For those of you who haven't watched it, it might be a spoilers so beware of that.

In this analysis I'll be comparing the similarities I found between Rei, Hina and Kyoko.

So watching any anime after being do emotionally attached to rivamika it's only natural that I compare them to the characters with even the tiniest bit similarities in their dynamic but Rei and hina's relationship jump in episode 4 of season 2 really caught me off guard and I was like omg?? Rivamika?? How do I make this about them 😩

Anyway so a little background on Rei's relationship with both girls Kyoko and Hina ( Hinata ). Firstly, i subconsciously placed Rei has Mikasa, kyoko has Eren and Hina as Levi, why? You will know on a minute. Rei is a depressed kid who has known only one way of life and that's through shogi games and after his parents death ( cough cough ) he was taken in by a old friend ( I think ) of his dad's who was also obsessed with shogi. Kyoko is the biological daughter of this man who has "adopted" Rei and later on Rei was came to know Hina and her sisters, they were super supportive of him from the start and having lost family members themselves they related to him on a personal level.

So you see why Eren and mikasa's dynamic matches with Rei and Kyoko and not only as "step siblings" it's also the fact that Rei became somewhat obsessed with her through the time he had spent over at their house, it's toxic and it's been showcased that way ever since kyoko was introduced into the series. Rei thought of her when he heard the word "love" and he even admitted to the fact that having her around is toxic and yet he can't push her away. He said he does not want to stop hearing her voice even tho she , herself is in love with a much older man who is married. Everytime she showed up to his bedroom uninvited and slept next to him my mind went "he is in love with her and their relationship is so toxic why does the author keep bringing her into his life?" Or "girl get the fuck away from him".

Without even thinking too much deep into their physical connection I already knew I would be able to related this dynamic to Eren and Mikasa. Although this series gives us much more depth into the main characters views since it's narrated from his own perspective, and the fact that he metaphorically compared his feelings of being lost and sadness helps me as an audience to understand what's happening much much easier than attack on titan. I personally feel like this kind of series are usually short ( idk how long this is) because it feels like the author knows exactly what he is going for, everything is set in stone.

Going back to Rei's ( mikasa's) relationship with kyoko ( Eren ) it's much much clear how toxic it had become for him in more than just one way. And the show isn't denying Rei of his feelings towards Kyoko and it's not even attempting to distant him from her and yet you just knew there had to be someone better right? That's when they introduced Hina and Kyoko in the same episode, meeting each other and a sense of invisible rivalry gushed over them, especially Hina. She is a happy go lucky girl and extremely sensitive to things to the point it kinda annoys me everytime she bursts out crying ( but hey you can't hate a genuinely good character ).

That's where things get interesting for me maybe because I am on that Levi X Mikasa agenda all the time but just like rivamika their relationship has been portrayed as platonic for the longest time in the seaosns. If I didn't go out of way to search up who Rei falls in love with and it didn't say hina's name I probably wouldn't be making this comparison right now because who wants to have their heart broken for the 2nd time in the same fucking month 🙄.

Anyway so in this one episode Hina comes home crying because of bullying issue at school and as she runs off into the dark streets Rei chases her and eventually catching up to her takes her hand and being able to relate to her problems, comparing his younger self to her present Rei reaches out his hand and God fucking damn it he says "you saved my life..I promise I'll stay with you" ofc I'm making this post now you know the real reason 🤡.

The unseen build up that happen between them reminds me of rivamika, the Portrayal of healthy relationship is rivamika. Hina (in our case Levi ) to Rei is the voice of emotion, she speaks out the feelings that Rei has been surpassing all these years inside of him. Just like how we talked about Levi is the voice of reason, while Mikasa has the impulsive urge to act up. Just like how Levi became the perosn who reasonably always took mikasa's side, he gave her personal reasons to take Erens side everytime have an actual meaning towards the scouts / everyone , he then became someone Mikasa was able to object & voice out her opinion towards because she knew that he would response and guide her the right way and finally he became someone she was able to fully trust.

Much like Hina and Rei, when Hina cried out her heart and Rei couldn't help but go back to his past self and imagine Hina coming to him and giving him a hand, being his saviour. It's much like how Levi saw his past self in Mikasa present ( S1 ), Levi gave Mikasa the hand she needed when she didn't know she needed.

Hina despite being much younger than him, was able to make him realise that he too was shutting out his emotions and was able to let himself be free through Hina when she cried, expressing her frustrations and very human like emotions. In the forest of the giant trees when Mikasa and Levi saved Eren for the first time he told her " we got your precious friend, didn't we?" A slight wake up call he had given her for the very first time, an attack on Mikasa's ego and evoking a different emotions within her. Like telling her it's not only about Eren and getting revenge, risking your life so easily, Levi had lost his entire squad in order to protect Eren so now that he is safe they better leave now.

So the question is did Levi and Mikasa save each other?

What can I say that I haven't said already in here about these two?

"you saved my life" Rei says to Hina as he reached out her hand and the beauty of that scene was the fact that it was delicate and soft despite it not being anything romantic. Remind me of that panel of Mikasa touching Levi's shoulder. How ironic is the fact that I'm comparing Hina, a openly emotional character to Levi who is said to be the most emotional inside?

Levi physically saved Mikasa a lot of the time however emotionally Levi saved Mikasa from being selfish and from herself. What if I said and ignoring 139, that Levi was one of of the biggest reasons Mikasa took the initiative and decapitated Eren that day?

Wait why does it feel like I already said it before lol

Through Levi, Mikasa learnt to trust more, learnt that even though they gave difference not only in height, age and in how they treat Eren ( Levi with force and Mikasa with care ), Mikasa still came in terms with Levi and relied on him, shared her burden with him. I think that's the biggest character twist Mikasa had, the fact that she was ready to draw sword at anyone who treated Eren wrong and everyone was scared of her and then came the grumpy shorty who beat her beloved brother right in front of her but eventually he became the biggest form of support she had in the end. I just can not help but laugh at all the unseen development this ship has had and all the implication of Futher interaction after season 3 between them, it's really obvious they had something going on because imagine you don't talk to someone for like 3 years and suddenly when you engage in battle against , paired up with them suddenly you become the strongest duo known to humanity. +?)!#)# make it make sense.

Sooo now you see the that having toxic relationship with a partner is only natural and inevitable but growing from that, opening your eyes to those who actually care there for you is rather healthy. So moral of the story is guys make sure stick with those who tells you to stay with them, the end.

Omg guys this turned out so much longer than I intended, anyway hopefully y'all liked it. I know it's not the strongest comparison or analysis but I feel like I'm running out of words for what I want to say about rivamika it feels like I'm recycling my sentences from previous analysis over and over again because ✨ lack of content ✨ and my inability to think of something new.

Please ignore all my spelling mistakes I have decided to embrace my mistakes instead of fixing them simply because I'm too lazy 😉

💜💜💜

#rivamika #rivamikacanon #levimika #rivamika analysis #BurnTheScarfMikasa

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shasta-reese · 2 years

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Finale Part 2 (6x20)

Alright, continuing the 2-hour finale. I wanted to do one post for the whole finale but the 6x19 commentary was already too long so here we are if anyone actually reads my long rants in their entirety I applaud you and thank you. So for real this time, one last ride:

- Welp Lillian is officially dead. It's a sad death like she's obvs a bad guy cuz like she did attempt to commit alien genocide a few times but I also never wanted her to die. Maybe I'm just too attached to Brenda Strong but I also just didn't want Lena to lose another parent no matter how terrible they were. I would've liked her end to be like in season 3 (I think, or was it S4 idk), in jail for life but Lena still went to visit her and play chess.

- Lillian's death to me is marginally better than Shadow Weaver's death (if ya'll watched She-ra) cuz Shadow Weaver never loved anything/anyone and till her last breath she never apologized for the shit she did. But Lillian in the end just wanted the best for her children and recognises that Lena can hate her if she wants for all the shit that she put Lena through her entire life. So yeah I rather she not die but I'm not overly pressed over her arc ending in death.

- Kelly may not have many lines but the few times she speaks she reminds me that she's a licensed therapist yet somehow never asked any of them to go to therapy, especially Kara and Lena. I'm joking but not really

- The hope speech was good but I don't know why but some of the wording of it just sounds weird to me. But I can't put my finger on it.

- How can Lex and Nyxly literally be fighting each other to the death one second then just turn and fight together? To an extent I get it Superfriends are their common enemy but still

- The final battle is interesting how they paired who fought who. It is a little odd to me that Nyxly in 6A was Kara's villain in a way but when it came to the rest of the season she became more of Nia's villain instead. Which is fine but just something I find a bit peculiar, and somehow Lex has become Kara's villain when we all know his obsession is actually with Superman (kryptonians as a whole I guess). I just don't like that Lex has been used for so long as a Supergirl villain when he's Superman's. but that's just a personal preference

- Also liked that James assisted Kelly rather than "saving" her, compared to Mon-el saving Kara with Lex. I know I'm probably reading into too much of this but for a show that's supposed to empower women it just doesn't sit right that Supergirl (the title character) has a man (who's she had not the best relationship with) come in and "save" her in the series finale during what's supposed to be the big final fight.

- I am going to ignore the fact that Eliza came outta fucking nowhere and just appreciate that we got Mama Danvers being badass with a shotgun. And the reference to Helen Slater playing Supergirl in the past, ngl made me chuckle

- I appreciate the sentiment of Mitch switching sides but he literally also did nothing to help them

- Kinda weird that in the wide shot with all the heroes Lena and Andrea are not in frame, like you could even see Eliza at the back but Lena isn't? Odd choice but okay

- And here we have the most anticlimactic final battle I've ever seen, just such a cop out ending tbh. I hated that's how they ended Nyxly's arc especially. They spent all season building Nyxly's character, everything she's been through and that's the best they came up with? Nyxly was already in the Phantom Zone for forever and just got sent back like it was nothing? That's fucking terrible, the fear on her face (and Kara's) when the portal opened was heart breaking and she got sent back to the place where she suffered eternally. She's a fucking terrible person for sure but even she didn't deserve that. Lex, I don't give two shits about cuz we know if he got arrested again he would've still done shit like before so it was either death or Phantom Zone I guess. But I thought for sure after showing us Nyxly interacting with Esme last ep, she would've gotten the "villain but can be redeemed" treatment but apparently it seems like they ran out of time. It wouldn't have been the first time Supergirl has redeemed a villain, with Psi and Livewire. One of the things I don't understand is what was Nyxly's motive even to destroy the universe, it would've been more reasonable to have her goal to be collect the totems for the All Stone and finally take revenge on her father. Because we've seen that Nyxly doesn't particularly aim to harm innocents, just those that are in her way to get the totems so her wanting to destroy the world when she gets the All Stone just doesn't make sense.

- It would've been better if they played the "revenge won't bring you peace" shtick and empathising with Nyxly that yeah she's had a shit life and dealt a shitty hand but taking out her revenge on the world wouldn't just make her hurt and anger go away. She realises that they're right. Then send her to some magic proof jail and she gets rehabilitated and heal from her trauma.

- But we didn't get that and they just sent a woman who's been hurt her whole life back to the place where she suffered most. Nice

- I posted about this before but does William not have any living family? Why is he being buried in National City when he really only came here for a job? Rip William, we truly knew nothing about you and you deserved better than this.

- I really don't like that they decided to bring the DEO back. It had so many problems, they put aliens away without trail or jury for what seems like until they die, its part of the government which we all know means shady shit is bound to happen. Just so many problems. I would've preferred if they stayed independent and cooperate with the government rather than under the government. Did the entire Season 4 plot teach any of you anything!?!? Or even just start your own organisation without the government would've been better honestly.

- Alright for real tho does ANYONE know what the fuck the Lena Luthor Foundation even is? Like what does it do???? No one has ever explained it. Nice of Andrea to open a journalism school in William's name, its honestly the least she could do. Also just a sidenote, Lena just standing at the side with Andrea while Andrea is giving her speech, lowkey gives me "proud wife of the founder" vibes, kinda hilarious lmao

- Dreamer having an LGBTQ+ outreach centre is gonna make me cry again dammit

- I'm not gonna say much about the whole Mon-el never coming back thing cuz I know there are nice karamel shippers and I don't wanna be insensitive or disrespectful but I'm glad they made a solid statement that their relationship has run its course. I get why there are people who still ship them because when I watch back some S2 scenes they're good together but for me personally the bad things just outweighs the good and personally I see S2 Kara and Mon-el as more of a playful friendship but the writing just made Mon-el into a douche and turned their relationship sour

- I know Brainy isn't gonna leave but fuck this goodbye still make me tear up :'( (on a lighter note, I wonder if it felt weird for Nicole to kiss Jesse with the green make up on lol)

- Also how come Brainy didn't have a goodbye with the others? like they've know Brainy just as long they are family at this point and at the moment they think that Brainy is going to the future to merge with the Big Brain and fucking CEASE TO EXIST HOW IS NIA THE ONLY ONE UPSET HERE?! Where is his honorary sibling, Lena? Kara, Alex, they were basically his sisters. How was there only an emotional goodbye from everyone when Brainy is quite literally walking to what is essentially his DEATH??!! this literally just occurred to me, wtf?

- the moment has come...CAT GRANT BABEEE! Honestly her appearance single-handedly made me forget all the terrible writing in the first half of this episode. I love the fact that Cat called her to rant and almost didn't tell Kara the reason she called because she was too wrapped up in why she hates people, oh Cat its so nice to have you back even for just a moment. I wanna headcanon that this is a semi-regular occurrence that Cat just calls Kara regardless of what time it could be in National City just to rant/vent, that is now a headcanon you cannot change my mind.

- That mini panic that Kara has when Alex walks in to her apartment is adorable.

- Damn, that last Danvers sisters couch scene....

- NOW FOR THE WEDDING

- I saw someone else also mentioning this but who are all these people attending this wedding? Alex's friend circle isn't exactly large so I will just assume that they could be DEO co-workers, Kelly's military friends and social co-workers. Cuz let's be real we haven't seen any of them actually talk to anyone outside the Superfriends

- I am always happy to see a parent who admits that they weren't perfect and owns it. So glad to see that Alex and Eliza relationships seems to be getting better. Also Esme is just the most adorable child

- Am I the only one wondering where is Kelly's mom? Apparently according to the Arrowverse wiki she's still alive so...? or they couldn't cast a person in time due to Covid or some other reason? They seem to have a good relationship with her from what they say. Guess we'll never know. But I digress it was a sweet sibling moment between the Olsen sibs

- I haven't seen the clip of Lena and Winn entering the wedding venue before.😂😂 Why do they both look so fucking miserable?😂😂

- Okay Brainy clearly watched way too many movies and decided that yes this is my movie moment and did the most rom-com entrance. 😂😂 I love him so much. Him and Nia deserve all the happiness in the world <3

- The vows were beautiful, the outfits impeccable, just amazing. (Alex's hair could've been better but I digress)

- Esme's lil moment with her uncle Jimmy was sweet :)

- Lmao they really had Lena be like "I just lost my second mother and became a two time orphan, would you two fine ladies like to adopt me pls🥺". Smart choice honestly for making Lena the godmother cuz as the last remaining Luthor I will assume she just inherited a shit ton of money on top of the shit ton of money she already had 😂

- Wish there was at least one slow dance but it was also nice seeing the cast having fun and then probably crying once they yelled cut.

- Look we all knew that Cat Grant knew, its no surprise but it's nice that they made it canon. Cat Grant pep talks are top notch man. Bi......furcated, are you fukcing kidding me, so close, we were so close

- I just love that Cat Grant is always the one to push Kara and encourage her to dive but for some reason they've made it so that Lena's words to Kara is the final thing that pushes Kara to finally make the decision. It happened when Kara became a reporter and its happening again with Kara becoming her true self void of dual identities.

- Katie saying "hey, you" causes me to react in a way it shouldn't 😳

- I love how well Lena can read Kara. She approaches first playfully but once she sees Kara is actually troubled she immediately switches gears and comforts her

- The entire Kara/Lena conversation honestly says more than what is actually being discussed. Because out of everyone Lena is the person that Kara has this talk with, and empathises with her. And at the very end of their conversation its clear that these two are each others person, they better each other and push each other to grow in the way that parallels Alex and Kelly's relationship. They are there for each other and never try to fix one another but just be there for them and help them figure things out. The amount of faith and trust that these two have for each other is unmatched. And it is an absolute shame that these two will go down as one of the biggest queerbaits in history rather than the one of the most solid wlw slow burns. Truly shame on the CW and WB to have let this once in a lifetime ship slip through their fingers and tarnish their reputation even more to many members of the LGBTQ+ community.

- Random note, Katie's eyes are absolutely piercing during that scene, idk if that was due to lighting or the dark eye make up but it felt like she was looking into my soul.

- One final game night, I'm just glad that everyone was there looking so carefree and happy with nothing bad hanging over their heads

- One very small nitpick I have is that I would've loved it even more if Cat Grant at the very end introduced Kara as Kara Zor-el/Kara Danvers rather than Supergirl but I get what they were going for

- But I digress the first time I saw that very last shot with Kara smiling at the camera I sobbed because she looked so light and truly happy and that's all that any of us can ask for a character's ending is that they are happy.

And that is the official end of Supergirl. I know it wasn't the finale that many of us hoped for but I am satisfied that all the main characters got happy endings. It still doesn't feel quite real but I know that next week when I open tumblr or twitter and see no new updates on Supergirl it will hit me full force and I will sob again because yes in many ways this was a shit show but it was ours and we cared for it. And so did the actors and the crew, its such a shame that it didn't reach its full potential but it was still good in ways that I don't think any of us will ever forget. In a strange way I don't think I'll miss the show in its entirety but I will miss the characters, I will miss this cast being together, I will miss how I feel when I watch this show (obviously the good moments only). I can't wait to see the other projects that this cast will be involved in because they are truly a very very talented cast and this show didn't give them nearly enough opportunities to showcase their talents. And I think that's it, if you've read this entire thing, thank you for being my first true fandom experience. For the very last episode commentary of Supergirl.

Goodbye.

#supercorp #lena luthor #kara danvers #alex danvers #nia nal #andrea rojas #william dey #kelly olsen #esme danvers olsen #eliza danvers #dansen #brainy #querl dox

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franniebanana · 3 years

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CQL Rewatch - Ep15

I forgot this guy’s name, Yao or something? Honestly, I don’t care enough to research this, like, at all. I hate this guy. My friend and I now refer to him as the Hype Man, so I might just call him that from now on. But I wanted to say that I didn’t realize he was in it so early, so when I saw him, I was like, “That fucking guy!!” And I also totally missed that the point of Jiang Fengmian leaving was to take this worthless piece of trash somewhere. I wish he’d died haha. But then I guess there’d be less reason to hate him, and I enjoy hating him.

I can’t believe this is the first paragraph that people are going to see. If you’re reading this now, you’re like, why do I want to read this crap? And y’know what, I can’t blame you. The next few episodes are gonna be rough. I don’t even know if there will be much to say on my end. My friend, after watching these few episodes commented something like, “Huh, that really dragged.” I could only agree, pulling my hair out from the headache these few episodes were giving me.

Okay, but seriously, Yao is so pathetic here! Talking about how he never thought they’d end up like this, and, “Oh, we were just a small clan, woe is me!” It’s amazing that he turns into the biggest prick, always right there hyping up the scapegoat-blame game rhetoric. Sorry, I hate this fucker.

A rare nice moment from Madam Yu. It was sweet having her show a caring side, packing medicine for her husband, snacks for her daughter. But of course, it was because Jiang Yanli had come to say goodbye to her earlier. Jiang Cheng is really like his mother—they can’t do anything for kindness’s sake, there’s always an obligation to the kindness.

I hate Wang Lingjiao, but I love her, and I love hating her. I’m conflicted. She’s just such a fun, evil character, more fun than Xue Yang in my opinion, probably because she actual interacts with the main characters in the story. It will forever annoy me that Xue Yang gets so much attention for appearing in a long-ass flashback (via empathy) and what should have been a flashback (Chang Clan) but wasn’t because they wanted it to be padding, I guess.

Anyway, Wang Lingjiao. She’s fun, she goes completely nuts—what’s not to love about her? She’s also someone who is so similar to Madam Yu, but because she also is ambitious and wants to take over Lotus Pier, Madam Yu wants her dead. Haha!

While Madam Yu is, objectively, a horrible person, I actually really like how her bodyguards aren’t treated like servants. I like that there’s mutual respect there, as there should be when you’re talking about protecting someone. Unfortunately, I think Madam Yu treats them better than her own family in most cases. It’s cool that the Jiang Clan doesn’t rely on servants to get food and tea and whatnot. These are things that the disciples and leaders must do for themselves. By contrast, the Jins have so many servants—it’s almost obscene by comparison.

Also I want to point out how hot-headed Jiang Cheng gets here, while his mother is just cool as a cucumber. It really shows you how unready he is to actually lead (which she points out). He’s so emotional, quick to anger, yet he has none of the foundations to really lead a group of people. Even when the disciples are explaining to them what happened to the kid and the kite, it’s Wei Wuxian who is keeping everyone calm and asking the questions.

I love that his first reaction here is to insult Wang Lingjiao’s intelligence. We’re basically getting a parallel to how he reacts to Wen Chao, which is fun because you can see how his behavior hasn’t changed at all. He uses his wit in both situations and is easily able to outwit both Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao. What’s kind of interesting is that Jiang Cheng will speak up now when he wouldn’t before. And I wonder is it because he is guilty for being silent earlier with Wen Chao, or is it something else? I think ultimately Jiang Cheng blames Jin Xizuan, Lan Wangji, and Wei Wuxian for what happens to his parents and to Lotus Pier. Even though, logically, it would have been destroyed anyway, he still wants to place the blame on someone who he can reach. All this is to say, I don’t think Jiang Cheng regrets not speaking up at the Wen Indoctrination. So I think he feels superiority over Wang Lingjiao really because he thinks she’s a stupid woman. And duh, she is not that clever. But she is smart enough to be able to use what talents she has to get ahead. She apparently is favored over Wen Chao’s own wife (who knew he was even married—not me lol), and you have to be ambitious and have some smarts to get that far. That’s not to say that Jiang Cheng wouldn’t treat a man this way too—I think he would. I think he picks and chooses who he’ll stand up to. He’s on his own turf, she’s an invader, she’s a woman—she only brought a few henchmen, right? He’s also been charged with watching over Lotus Pier in his father’s absence. Maybe he just wants to look big for once. Just a thought. Take it or leave it.

So, I think Madam Yu is enjoying this. She’s getting two things she wants: the Wens are going to leave and she gets to beat the shit out of Wei Wuxian. She doesn’t even have to be prodded to punish him, right? She barely waits until Wang Lingjiao has finished speaking. This has something she’s wanted to do for a long time. I think she’s hit him before, yes? But she can go all out right now, since Jiang Fengmian, his only real protector, is gone.

Also Jiang Cheng! Man, he’s torn apart! He hates to see this happening to Wei Wuxian—yes, he blames him for all that shit, but he doesn’t want to see this happen to him. It’s actually harder to watch Jiang Cheng in all of this than Wei Wuxian, who mostly remains as stoic as he could possibly be while she’s whipping the shit out of him. And again here, we get Wei Wuxian telling Jiang Cheng not to interfere, because the last thing he wants is for Jiang Cheng to be penalized too. He’s fine receiving this punishment because it’s a “better me than him” kind of a thing. It’s harder to watch someone else suffer than to suffer ourselves, right? I’m like that, idk if you readers are, but I think a lot of people are like that. I mean, I’ve always been that way, but it’s been amplified since I became a parent. And not only is he accepting of being whipped by Zidian, he’s ready to lose his fucking right hand. The hand that he wields a sword with. His dominant hand. He is ready to lose it with absolutely no fuss. That’s how much Wei Wuxian cares about Lotus Pier. His response is, “I’ll have to learn how to use my left hand.” It’s a passing line, a line when you can’t even see his face—but do you get how big that is? Jiang Cheng is up there losing his mind, completely emotional, crying, yelling at his mother to stop—Wei Wuxian is just silently gritting his teeth and taking it. They’re both brave (I would not want to stand up to Madam Yu), but different kinds of brave, y’know?

I do love this part. I’m not gonna lie. Seeing Madam Yu slap Wang Lingjiao around is something that’s deeply, deeply satisfying. I guess it’s just nice to see Madam Yu’s anger turned towards an actual villain, since up until this point, it’s been directly mainly at Wei Wuxian and her own husband. I think this part is forever tainted if you know how the story goes, because Madam Yu is just on fire! But if you’ve seen this series before, which hopefully you have (otherwise spoilers abound), you know it doesn’t end well for her. I like this plot device here, making you think that the good guys are going to come out on top, and then reversing it so quickly as soon as the Core-Melting Hand shows up. One minute, you’re cheering, the next, you’re…not.

I also want to point out how quickly things reverse here as well. Jiang Cheng is trying to protect and comfort Wei Wuxian throughout this whole scene, which is something we’re definitely not used to seeing. This has always (and I mean always) been more of Lan Wangji’s thing. But in kind of a nice twist of fate, we actually see Jiang Cheng caring for Wei Wuxian. But then, boy, do things change! We see a complete reversal of this behavior—first Wei Wuxian has to be there for Jiang Cheng’s emotional state, and then his physical one. And the man does not complain about it at all.

I want to say that I didn’t cry in my first watch of CQL until episode 50. That is 100% the truth, so help me God. However, when I watched this scene in the donghua, I cried like a little bitch. Cried probably isn’t the right word—how about sobbed. I sobbed. I think because I knew it was coming when I watched CQL, it didn’t really affect me (plus my husband was right there, not paying attention, but still on the couch with me, so I tend to not cry as much when he’s around. I like to cry on my own, okay?). Having said that, the second time I saw this scene, I fucking cried, and I really didn’t stop until after they told Jiang Yanli, because that sweetheart crying makes me cry, okay? I have a really hard time watching things about children and parents, because I always think about my own parents and my own kid, so it just makes me really emotional. The idea of never seeing your parents again, especially in such a traumatic situation, at the age of what—17? That’s something I can’t even begin to imagine. In a word, horrific. Traumatic isn’t even a strong enough word to describe the emotional and mental turmoil that a teenager would be going through. But I can probably ramble about that later.

And my heart breaks for Wei Wuxian here too. Even though she hated him, even though she treated him so poorly, I’m sure he still thought of her as something akin to a mother. She was the only mother figure he had in his life who was still living, so there was definitely an attachment there (and this is proven later). Even being acknowledged by her here must mean something to him. She may hate him, but she trusts him to keep her children safe and to protect them. It’s honestly so sad.

Ugh, this is hard to watch. As a mother, the idea of sending your kid adrift when you know you’ll probably never see them again is so heartbreaking. The connection you have with your children is something that no other relationship can match, whether you physically bore your children or not. They are a part of you. Like, let’s be real, raising children is difficult—they can test your patience, make you angry, make you sad and hurt (toddlers don’t care about you, yeah, I said it)—but you love them in spite of it all. And for me, I can never really hate Madam Yu. I can find her attitude and treatment of certain individuals deplorable, but at the end of the day, she loved her children. Was she a good mom? No, probably not. But I don’t think Jiang Fengmian was a good dad either (although I think he tried a bit harder). But I think she loved A-Cheng and A-Li, and I think she trusted Wei Wuxian to protect them. I think she gave him that shred of respect at the end.

In case you’re wondering, I fucking cried through to the end of this episode. I mean, Jesus, Yanli just gets immediately thrown into another boat and tied up with her brothers, after finding out that her mother might be dead already, and then her dad abandons them too. I just can’t.

I’m sorry this was short (maybe I’m not sorry, depending on how much you like the episode). I’m going to try and knock out more than one episode per week because I just don’t have a lot to say. These are mainly getting through the plot episodes, if you know what I mean.

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |

#wei wuxian #jiang cheng #cql #the untamed #jiang yanli #jiang fengmian #madam yu #wen zhuliu #core-melting hand #wang lingjiao #jiaojiao #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #cql rewatch #wwx

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robin-the-enby · 4 years

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Confusing feelings p.2

Pairing: Abe Sapien x OC

Summary: The Kelpie is brought to BPRD, but doesn't want to talk. Abe is called to get information through skin to skin contact, but he has other plans.

Warnings: talk about pollution (idk if that counts), injury, claustrophobia

A/N: So, I decided to make a second part to this, because it feels like I've read all Abe fanfics on this platform and this beautiful man deserves more love. This is very probably the last part, mainly because I haven't decided if I just want to put my OC in the plot of the Hellboy movies or if this is an AU. And when I decide, I'm going to write it on Wattpad, because I have this blog for oneshots only, I feel like making series here would just be messy. Ok, thanx for reading the rant no one asked for ^^

Gifs are in no way mine

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The cell was cold and dry. It didn't have any windows to look out from, so it must have been underground. There was a door, but it was locked, she already tried.

The Kelpie was confused. She didn't know where she was and neither did she know what everything around her was. The air felt different, so she couldn't be home. She wasn't covered in the black goo anymore, but her back was aching dully as she sat on the cold, hard floor. However, it was better then when she was moving. When she wasn't still as a statue, pain shot from her back into the rest of her body.

She tried to take in her surroundings. That didn't take a lot of time though. There were gray walls, gray ceiling, gray floor and the door.

Next she focused on herself. She remembered a great pain as she carried the girl into the lake. Unfortunately she wasn't able to see her back. She looked down. Around her chest was a white cloth and another piece of fabric was covering her intimate parts.

Panic shot through her like a bullet. She closed her eyes and took in a shaky breath. She couldn't concentrate on anything but how tight the fabric suddenly felt on her body. It brought up flashbacks, shards of memories burried deep in her mind. She felt tied up, the fabric becoming tighter and tighter every second and she couldn't breathe.

Although her eyesight was blurry with tears, she noticed the door opening and people rushing in her cell, coming closer and closer, trying to talk to her and touching her. But she couldn't make out anything but gibberish.

Abe was acting out of character ever since they came back from the mission in Scotland and agents were starting to notice. The first to notice his strange behaviour were his closest friends, Hellboy and Liz.

He couldn't concentrate for more than thirty seconds, his thoughts trailling off somewhere where no one could follow. Something was on his mind and nobody was able to find the thing, which seemed to trouble him so much.

But Hellboy was getting fed up. He wasn't angry at Abe, the only thing he felt for his friend right now was worry, but he has been worrying so much for so long he became angry at whatever it was that plagued Abe's mind so much.

But he had enough. Red decided he was going to keep an eye on Abe today, telling him It's a 'guys only' day today as an excuse. Well, it was practically the truth, he did want to spend time with Abe, Liz has been busy anyway. Manning called for her, saying he needs her, for what Red didn't know, nobody bothered to tell him. So yes, he really wanted to spend time with Blue, but he also wanted to try and get him to talk. He just didn't tell him that.

It has been pretty boring so far. They have been cooped up in the library all day and most of the time Abe was quiet. Red tried to keep the conversation with him going, but after a while of talking he realized Abe had spaced out. He was just about to snap at him, but was interrupted by his own girlfriend walking through the door.

"You wouldn't believe what happened!" she exclaimed as the door slammed shut behind her. Both men in the room looked at her in expectation. "So, Manning called for me, saying he needs help." she started explaining. "Help with what?" asked Red. "The Kelpie woke up." she explained. At the mention of the beasts name, Abe's head shot up. She had his undivided attention. "Really? You saw her? Where are they keeping her?" question upon question, he fired them at his friend without hesitation. "Why do you want to know?" asked Hellboy.

Truth was, nobody saw her after that mission. The agents that were asigned over her kept her somewhere, and nobody bothered to tell the trio where. Again.

"Manning said he needs her for experimantation." Abe said, his voice sounding wary and uncertain "I didn't like how he said it. I just want to make sure she's not being harmed."

And it was true. No creature, however evil it may be, deserves to be tortured. If it needs to be killed, its death should be as quick as possible. It wasn't the only reason he wanted to find her. He didn't know why, but he just couldn't get her out of his head. He couldn't get the image of her burned body, covered in the goo from the water, laying helplessly in the reeds, out of his head. When he slept, he could hear her small noises of pain and he wondered what her regular voice would sound like. He needed to talk to her. It was exciting to meet another water creature, even for a little while. He could ask her so many questions and maybe, just maybe the higher ups could let her live.

"Well and he told me she's freaking out. And because I'm a woman who is not regular like others, I might be able to calm her down. So I went there, but nothing worked. She's just shaking and crying and it's like she's lost in her own world." Liz ended her story.

Abe's heart squeezed in his chest "Do you think they harmed her?" he asked. "Why do you care? I don't get what's all the fuss for. It harmed Liz, It's dangerous, I'd just kill it before it attacks someone else." Red shrugged.

If Abe could frown, he definitely would "It's valuable to us right now. We don't know much about her species. We need her to calm down, so we can get information and then..." he realized he can't finish the sentence. He felt oddly sad at the thought of her, the only other water creature, being gone. Strange how one can get so attached to someone without even meeting them properly. Abe was confused.

As Abe was lost in his thoughts again, Liz and Red were chatting, until an agent came into the library. "Abe Sapien?" he called. When the said man didn't react immediately, Red nudged him and then he perked up. "Yes? Can I help you?" he asked. The agent nodded "Manning needs you. Follow me, please." he said and was already on his way out of the room.

Abe scrambled out to follow him and caught up with him. He achieved this at the elevator. The agent was faster than he seemed.

No one said a word throughout the whole ride. Abe watched as they went lower and lower, deeper and deeper underground.

The elevator stopped when they hit the lowest floor in the entire building. Abe has never been here, but there wasn't much to look at. They walked through a long, gray hallway, the only things around them being the lights above their heads. At the end of the hallway was a door. In front of it stood distressed looking Manning with a few other agents. They looked at the newcomers as soon as they heard them.

"Abe! Glad you're finally here." Manning sighed. Abe and the fast agent stopped at the door. "The thing inside is stressed and we can't find the reason why. I assume agent Liz already told you how her investigation went." Abe nodded his head. "Great. Your job is to go in there and get some information out of her by...you know, holding her hand or something." Pretty invasive, but alright. Abe thought. "Don't worry, there are hidden cameras, we'll be monitoring your encounter the whole time, so don't worry about anything happening to you." all of them then stepped aside and cleared out a way to the door.

The room was dim. Abe wondered if there were any lights he could turn on, but when he heard the quickened breathing, sniffles and strangled cries, he decided it wouldn't be a wise idea.

The Kelpie sat crouched down in the center of the cell, shaking in place. He aproached her slowly, but it seemed like she didn't even notice him coming in the room. Touching someone to feel their emotions was a pretty invasive method for Abe, so he tried to talk to her first.

But it was no use. She didn't even look at him. She probably didn't even know about him. Does she even remember me? Abe thought. There was no other way. He took one of her hands that was holding her knees to her chest and closed his eyes.

Nets. Panic. People everywhere. Chaos. She wanted to live. They were trying to catch her. She didn't do anything and yet here they were. They poisoned the water. Killed all the fish. She has been starving. They did it. It couldn't be anyone else. And now they were trying to kill her too. She thrashed, bit, screamed, anything to get her out of the tight ropes and nets. Anything to keep her alive.

He let go of her hand. "She's feeling claustrophobic. I need bigger clothes. Hellboy's Tshirt perhaps. And a medic please." he said to the dim room, he knew they were listening.

Watching her shake and quietly cry was painful for him, so he was glad when the medic came, Tshirt in hand.

They switched the lights on. Now he could see her. Her skin was pale, nearly white, her eyes and hair a deep dark blue that one could drown in.

Together they changed the Kelpie's clothes and put on the big Tshirt. They also took off her bandages and covered the wound in a way which allowed them not use bandadge that would wrap around her whole torso. It was harder than Abe thought, but they managed.

The medic then excused himself and left Abe alone with the Kelpie. Not like he minded much. After maybe a minute, her mind registered the change and she felt she could finally breathe properly again.

She lifted her head from her knees and looked around warily. She saw someone familiar. Why yes, he was there at the lake, the one who found me after I crawled into the reeds. She was scared of him and what would he do, but she was also injured and knew she can't run away from him here. She didn't even try.

So she just looked at him and said "Thank you." It must have been him who helped her breathe again. She looked down on herself. There was fabric covering her, it covered more skin than before, but she barely felt it. It felt rather nice, she realized.

"You are welcome." he replied with a smile "My name is Abe Sapien. You are in BPRD." She looked at him confused. "Bureau for paranormal research and defense." She didn't look much wiser. "Why is everything gray here?" she asked quietly. "I don't know. They were probably too lazy to paint this...room." he didn't want to say cell, even though he kind of knew that she knew. "They?" she asked. "The other agents." "Are they like you?" "No, they are humans." Her eyes widened. "Do not fret! I know how humans harmed you, but nobody will lay a finger on you here. I'll make sure of that." he tried to reassure her. It seemed to work, because she visibly relaxed her posture.

"Can I have some water please?" she asked very politely. He nodded his head and dissapeared through the door.

He came back with a glass of water. He sat down in front of her "I have a deal for you. I give you this water and then I can ask some questions. Alright?" "Can I ask some too?" she asked. "If you reply to my questions, I don't have a problem with it." and he gave her the glass.

Instead of drinking from it, she dipped her finger in it and splashed the droplets on her gills and hair, which dampened immediately.

"Alright. How were you born? Who are your parents?" She seemed surprised to hear this question. She thought for a while. "I think I was a human. But that was long ago, I don't remember my family." she looked at the ground. She was afraid she didn't answer correctly and now she won't be allowed to ask a question of her own.

But he didn't seem angry at all. "And how did you become a Kelpie?" She thought, again. He noticed when she did that, her eyes became distant, so hard was she trying to answer correctly and truly. It was sweet.

"I died. In the lake. And then...I woke up...like this." she looked at her hands "I don't really understand it."

"Can I ask now?" He nodded "Go ahead." She took a deep breath "What is going to happen to me?"

That was a tricky question. He didn't know. "We don't know for now." She just nodded her head obediently.

"Alright, next question. Did you attack the men because of revenge?" Her eyes teared up at the question. "I didn't want to hurt anyone, really." she sniffled "But they poisoned the water with the black poison and killed all the fish. I was hungry, starving, angry, desperate. I-I..." she couldn't finish.

"I'm sorry I am causing you so much discomfort, but only two more questions." she nodded her head again. "Why didn't you eat the hearts and livers?" For the first time she didn't hesitate to reply "It's in their honour, I think. The heart contains the soul and I didn't want to trap it inside of me. I just wanted to eat. The liver cleans the heart, so it keeps the soul clean. I think all Kelpies feel like this." she shrugged. "How do you know all this?" She shrugged again "I don't. I just feel it." He nodded his head "Alright, one more. Why did you attack our friend?" "The girl?" she shyly asked, he nodded. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I just...I panicked. You seemed to recognize what I am and I got scared. But she was already on me and she couldn't get off. I acted on instinct. I'm truly sorry."

He wanted to comfort her, he truly did. But he wasn't sure if he should. She killed two people, but her voice was like music to his ears, she was so polite and...He was so, so utterly confused.

"Do you want a name?" he asked her. It seemed like an appropriate thing to do. Her eyes brightened at that. "Yes please. Very much." she shyly admitted. He smiled at her. "How about Lynn? It's a name from The Brittish islands, where you came from."

Pale blue dusted her cheeks, it seemed like she blushed "It's beautiful." He smiled again "Alright Lynn. I'll see what I can do for you."

As he was walking out of her cell he made a decision. One that cleared all the confusion.

It didn't matter what his friends thought. What the higher ups would order. He was going to protect her.

#Abe sapien #Abraham sapien #Abe sapien x reader #Abe sapien x oc #Hellboy #Liz sherman #Manning #BPRD

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ihopethisendswell · 3 years

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Me and my OCs:

This isn't just about my pokemon oc's. No no no no. This is my journey of me having 0 Oc's ( not knowing what they where back then) to having far too many for my own good.

It started back in middle school, where it was one if those rare creative writing periods. We rarely get those, so of course I was excited. This was also when I started reading a lot of fantasy books, specifically YA novels. So my imagination ran wild, and I created my first oc.

Her name was ViraBlue. Yes that sounds like a online profile. Yes, she was very edgy. Yes , I tried to write a very bad story for her. And no, I'm not going to go into it. The only thing I will go into, is that I thought it would be cool for her to have a team. A five man band if you will. Teen Titans was my favorite show at the time, and I was getting introduced to anime AND I was reading wattpad due to my friend who suggested it to me. So this was spelled for disaster. Though I will say I realized my passion for creative writing. Even if my own writing was terrible.

I'm going to skip over all middle school and a bit of highschool to just say that my Oc's evolved. For example, ViraBlue was no longer her name. As of now her name is Elora. Also, her and her team are no longer just white people. Elora is a wonderful black woman such as myself, and honestly I feel FAR more attached to her than I did before. Also when remaking my ocs to be more diverse( both in race and in body diversity),I learned Asian is a umbrella term, so it doesn't just mean China or Japan. It also means Thailand, India, the Philippines, and much more! It really opened my eyes a lot to the world around me actually.

So yeah, you'd think that'll be it, right? WRONG. Cause theres more! A lot more. So much more I'm gonna but it on bulletin notes :)

Somewhere between highschool and middle school, I was very interested the pokemon protagonist, in terms of what they were like as individuals.

Now I know that that's very weird, given the majority of the protagonists are blank slates l, but two things. 1) Hilda's design has so much attitude that I REFUSE to believe she's a blank slate( eventhough she is) and 2) sun and moon brought back and older Red, with his own semblance of personality. I was so happy when it was announced.

But after searching the internet, and realizing the chance of me getting my preteen hands on the manga were low

So I did the only reasonable thing and make my own oc for each game and have them replace the player character as the main protagonist. Every main series game. Except the Kanto ones. I....I've had enough of kanto. I might change my mind later.

I'm actually almost done! All I have to do is finish USUM, and play emerald and heartgold and I'll be done.

I was so invested in this that I made myself a ( linear) timeline to keep track of things, as well as trying to find characters ages as a reference. Oh my god, that was a lot.

Then they're was that sequel idea that I had for my first Oc's story( the one with Elora). I didn't even finish the first story! Let alone start writing!

It didn't help that the setting of the story was a full erease universe and a timeskip into the future away from the original story. No I will not elaborate.

The main character's name is an ( sun?) elf Imani and she's tall ( duh) and really likes her history and her friends.

I then realized that these two stories where very important to me,so it would be best to work on them more to flesh them out......

Until I made a new set of characters for a supernatural thing. I literally just made a person,her brother, her friends, her brothers friend,her brothers love interest, and the siblings moms that aren't always there because one of them is basically the grim reaper but not really abd the other help with purifing damaged souls or something like that. Mind you, I have no specific story for them, except they live in New York and do stuff. That's it.

Now would be a good time to say that all of my ocs are LGBTQ+, and I don't mean this as a flex. I say this because they honestly have helped me trying to find myself. I still don't know what I am, or if my feelings are real, but I do know that these characters made me appreciate the change of it all. Like Elora and her team where all straight white people, and while there is nothing wrong with that, the more I changed, they've changed as well. Elora is now asexual biromantic. Now that's not what I'll exactly call myself, but it's kinda close. I think. Idk. Not to mention that I'm now more aware of the world around me, and the struggles people face( even if I'm still learning)

Anyway back to ranting.

CHOICE. OF. GAMES

How dare they exploit my love for character creation and choose your own story games!

Honestly, besides my own characters, and some outside factors, Choice of games made me aware that men liking men is real, and so is women liking woman, and that non-binary people exist!

For granted, I still didn't understand it at the time, but in Wayhaven chronicles I choose the men and women option and didn't look back.( I only played the demo cause I have no money)

Then I started playing a lot of wips, and somehow made 4 characters that reflect 4 play styles that I personally like playing.

Eventually they became so big in there own that I thought " these are the type of ocs that I'll just mess around with. No overarching story, just a good ol time" and for once I stuck by it.

Though for some reason I gave them a theme of the deck of suits????( Like diamond, heart, spades and clover).

There's Jamie( diamond). They're the shyest of the bunch. A lot more withdrawn and tend to freak out a lot( like me!) Though when the time comes, they're quite possible the bravest in the room. They come from a rich family cause why not. They're omnisexaul.

Then there's Edric( heart). Friends( and enemies that he likes) call him Eddy. He's very flirty and down to have a good time. He wears what he wants and does it in ✨ style ✨. He can wear a clown suit and make it look sexy. He's asexual panromantic.

Min( spades) ! I got the name from playing Smoke and Velvet: The Gnawing Chronicles ( by @roast-ifs ) cause I was to lazy to come up with a name and it just stuck. For the most part she's more stoic than the rest. Not entirely an introvert, but not extroverted either. She's try's to keep her emotions to herself, which for the most part she's very successful at, but it can get hard when it comes to people she cares about ( both platonically and romantically). In another wip called Secrets of Swatheforn ( by @swatheford ) she's actively trying to NOT acknowledge her feeling for one of the ROs ( Cass) so that's fun. Min is a trans women, and is bisexual ( women and non-binary people)

The last one actually is the least developed out of all of them. I know that they're non-binary, and that they represent clover. I actually haven't played as them as much as say Jamie or Edric has. So yeah. They exist.

So that my very long oc journey. I don't except my creative mind to stop, but I really have to many. Sooooo yeah! That's all.

#rants n rambles #my oc shit #my ocs #my ocs are my babies #i love them dearly #choice of games #creative writing #all that jazz #thats all #have a nice day #long post

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amphtaminedreams · 5 years

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To All the Characters I’ve Overly Identified with Before: Borderline Personality Disorder and Attachment to Fictional Characters

It’s been a month, and I’m still not over how Game of Thrones ended. I’m still not over the way that a character who, throughout the previous seventy something episodes of the show, was only ever ruthless towards people who were deserving of her wrath (within the context of westerosi justice because let’s not forget everyone’s favourite man of honour Ned Stark decapitated a young man for running for his life in the first episode), suddenly massacred a whole city in the penultimate episode. I’m not over the way that writers who spent the previous seasons showing that they were capable of translating the moral ambiguity of George R.R Martin’s characters from page to screen, got lazy and left us with a character whose actions became impossible to defend right as the show was ending. I’m not over the way that such a beautifully complex character who endured so much hurt and trauma was reduced to nothing more than a “crazy woman” by a couple of male writers in her final moments. I’m not over the fact that Emilia Clarke put her heart and soul into the character and did everything she could to bring Daenerys Targaryen to life for David Benioff and Dan Weiss to both literally and figuratively assassinate her.

I think those feels have been felt by a lot of Game of Thrones fans since the show ended. God knows I’ve watched enough youtube video essays and read enough articles and liked enough tweets reiterating the sentiment. Daenerys Targaryen was, in my opinion, the best character on Game of Thrones. I wasn’t angry because she didn’t end up sitting on the throne (though my boy Drogon made sure nobody else ever would either and I guess I can get behind that), I was angry because all the balance that made her character so great was thrown out the window in order to progress the story of her male counterpart and bring a show that probably could’ve done with another 2 seasons to an end. Dany has always had a dark side, she is the “fire” that the title of the book series refers to, but throughout the show, we’ve never seen her indulge that side to the point of no return. We’ve seen her wrestle with it and use it to exact punishment on those who deserve it when needs be, and that was part of what I liked about her. Not to go all feminist essay on anyone’s ass but we don’t usually get to see women in TV who are celebrated for their powers of intimidation, and I liked how prior to season 8, the narrative never made female characters like Dany or Arya or Brienne out to be monsters for killing people the same way that basically every single man on the show did at one point or another. I liked that sometimes she was a little excessive because it made sense, she did have “dragon” in her, and she still had lines she wouldn’t cross, clear values and principles; she fought for the innocent, for women and for children, and for freedom. On a personal level, I loved her because we watched her go from a lonely, scared and vulnerable girl to a strong, ambitious and self-assured woman and that was a trajectory I wanted to relate to.

And then all of a sudden, without any justification or build up at all, she’s a mass murderer of the same “downtrodden” people she always claimed to fight for. Fuck, I’m thinking. I literally watched that episode through my hands because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. When I say I cried on and off for about 3 days after I watched the final episode, I’m not exaggerating; I only need to see a screen cap now a month later or an interview with Emilia Clarke and I’m off again. It literally felt as if I was mourning the loss of a real person. But this isn’t the first time I’ve had this kind of attachment to a character. Daenerys Targaryen was probably just the last in a long list of women I overly identified with.

I’m not much like her at all really, I’ve burnt myself from taking the film off my microwaved lasagne and not moving my thumb away from the hot air in time (lmao), however, I think I saw parts of myself in her journey and traits that I wanted to have, thus, I latched on. Before Daenerys Targaryen there was Spencer Hastings and before her there was Cassie Ainsworth and then if we’re gonna throw it all the way back, there was Hermione Granger (and some other characters I was more mildly obsessed with along the way, Katniss Everdeen, Bree Van de Kamp and Cosima Niehaus, I’m looking at you). I still love all those characters now but when their respective shows or films were actually current, I was completely obsessed. I spent my 16th birthday at the Harry Potter studios on the outskirts of London with my family, forget birthday parties or meals out with my friends. I wished more than anything that I had 2 best friends that loved me unconditionally and I did my best to emulate that drive and intelligence and work ethic everyone associates with Hermione. I told myself I was just like her even though I lacked the confidence to put my hand up in all but one of my classes and last time I checked, was just trying to conquer GCSEs not fight an evil wizard snaked hybrid man or whatever Voldemort is. I identified with the loneliness and the need for control that I saw in Cassie, and was like “oH eM GeE, tHat’s sO mE!” at Spencer’s perfectionism. When I was speeding for my exams (and then, unfortunately, for long after), I felt spiritually connected to that whole Pretty Little Liars arc where Spencer started popping adderall on the daily even though I could really only wish for someone to care about me enough to stalk me like A did and the worst possible outcome of my all nighter was not taking in enough content to bullshit my way through a 30 marker.

They would understand me, they would be my friend. They represent me. That was the baseline sentiment of my obsession. And I think that’s the borderline part of me jumping out. See, such a huge part of BPD is feeling unwanted and misunderstood and forgettable and really, deeply lonely. Like it’s a kind of loneliness I think you feel like an actual person can never really fulfil because the (faulty and not necessarily reflective of reality) thought pattern is that they’ll lose interest and leave you sooner or later. Fictional characters are always there, until the show gets cancelled or the character gets killed off, at least, and then comes the completely disproportionate tidal wave of grief. They exist in a different world too, a one that feels a lot less dangerous (even if it’s actually way more dangerous, I mean I really wouldn’t last five fucking minutes in Westeros) and detached from the often chronically muted reality of BPD.

Then there’s the trouble with the sense of self, part and package of BPD for most, which facilitates, you know, thinking that a genius witch or, like, any character in skins (because in hindsight as great as that show was, WHY DO NONE OF THEM HAVE JOBS YET SEEMINGLY AN ENDLESS SUPPLY OF DRUGS AND PARENTS THAT NEVER SEEM TO CARE WHERE THE HELL THEY ARE!?) resembles you as a person in any way. Though I suppose I’m learning recently as I begin to reflect more on what I enjoy and value, I��ve never had much more than a vague idea of what my positive qualities are, so when I saw them fully realised in a character it was a treasure trove of mannerisms and traits and ways of carrying oneself to adopt. It becomes a mould into which you can squeeze the ball of meh-ness and uncertainty you feel you resemble. Now I’m realising that although it might take me a little more time and a lot more effort, it’s much more rewarding to become the very best version of myself, but back then, I suppose I didn’t recognise why I was doing what I was doing.

I only got diagnosed with BPD and started learning about it when it was 19, so all the years before that were pretty much spent unaware of the reasons why I had these quirks. As I “recover” (I suppose that’s the right word) and I get back into hobbies and spend more time with friends, I feel like I’m beginning to discover more and more of who I am. I’m starting to accept that there are positive things about me and plenty of things for people to like, right here in this world, not some fictional one.

I still love characters way too much and get overly attached and invested in TV shows but even that doesn’t necessarily have to be something to be ashamed of. When I’ve got into *ahem* discussions with people online about characters before, I’ve occasionally gotten the “why do you care so much, it’s not real life!” in response, and I mean, there’s definitely a point to be made if your passion for something is causing you to lash out at real life people with real life feelings. But when you’re not, when it can give you hours of discussion and entertainment and can drive you to make real positive changes in the world too, what’s wrong with passion? There’s nothing I love more than having a conversation with someone who I can tell really loves what they’re talking about, so why should I be ashamed of having the capacity to become deeply invested in things too? I think as long as it’s not taking over my life as I have allowed it to do so in the past, there’s nothing wrong with having passion for fictional things or for anything, for that matter. As long as it’s not something fucked up, like idk, white supremacy or Rick and Morty (JOKING).

I don’t regret loving all the things I loved because being a huge Harry Potter fan for so many years did give me an escape when I absolutely hated myself and couldn’t find much enjoyment in real life. I hope that if I do have children one day, they’ll love it too, maybe not quite as much as I did but enough for it to give them all the joy it gave me, all the same. So in summary, yeah, fuck David Benioff and Dan Weiss (lmao, I’m joking, they’re just shitty original screenplay writers who could probably do with a class or two on how to write female characters), but also, understand before you make fun of someone for being overly invested in something that there’s probably a good reason for it and that, at the end of the day, they’re usually not hurting anyone. I’ll probably still be stanning Daenerys Targaryen and pretending season 8 episode 5 didn’t happen until the day I die. Let me live, okay?

Lauren x

#bpd #harry potter #Hermione granger #Emma watson #cassie ainsworth #skins #gameofthrones #got #antigot #DaenerysTargaryen #daenerys targaryen #emilia clarke

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sidekickjoey · 5 years

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My (Very) Spoiler Filled Review of Fantastic Beasts: Crimes of Grindlewald

That movie was so much better than I was expecting considering all the reviews I’ve seen knocking it hard for the past week. Here’s my recap of my experience with it character-by-character, as well as some of my responses to reviews/criticism I read beforehand-- let me know what you think!

Read at your own risk, there’s a lot of spoilers here. Scroll REALLY fast until you see the gif I put at the end, mobile users! I’m sorry read mores don’t work for you!

1. Newt Scamander, never change. I found myself going ‘awwww’ way too much over this man in this movie. He’s so quirky and so true to himself the whole way through, and I absolutely am in awe of it. He’s seriously a dream of a man. The gentleness he gives toward his creatures and his utter playfulness with the ZouWu (look me in the eye and tell me that didn’t make you feel all warm inside) was breathtaking. Eddie Redmayne once again outdid himself with his portrayal of Newt. His expressions this movie too were phenomenal, especially since we didn’t always hear Newt speaking. A+ to him all across the board.

2. Let’s talk about Queenie. I see a lot of people upset at what Queenie became in this movie, but in all reality, I don’t think it’s as out of character as everyone is saying. Think about it: Queenie experienced something traumatic. She found the one man she loves more than anything, and then suddenly he’s ripped away from her because of a rule the main four all acknowledged in some way was super ancient and not right. She gets him back, but yet again, she is hounded with society being like “Hey, we see your love, but it’s not right and we will send you to prison if you try marrying each other.” That stuff gets to you. It makes you think irrationally. Someone mentioned “But Queenie was so smart last time and now she’s acting like an idiot.” Well, yeah. That’s kind of what Jacob was saying. It’s because she feels threatened, and that pressure has gotten to her so much that she is desperate to find a fix for it. Was it a lot to use a love potion on Jacob? Yes. Was it a lot to jump the gun and follow Grindlewald? Yes. But she felt she had no choice. She was backed into a corner, and Grindlewald held out his hand and said he can make all her dreams come true. When you are desperate, you’re going to take whatever chances you can get.

3. By the way, let’s talk about Grindlewald. I walked into this expecting Hitler 2.0 to be honest, but what we got is kind of scarier in a way. Grindlewald is, as we saw in the first movie with his “Won’t we die just a little” comment to Newt, not exactly wrong. He’s fighting for things that should be fixed. He wants freedom and he wants truth. He wants wizards to have to not live in shame, and he wants them to be able to marry muggles and even interact with them without shame. However, he’s a bad guy fighting behind these causes. His methods and means of going about things are all wrong. With the WWII vision he saw, he pandered to fear to gain support. He took the message and said “Hey, this is the future if we don’t act” without informing them that, sorry to break it to you, that’s the future regardless. And that my friends is dangerous. He’s so sly and he’s so manipulative, and he gets away with what he does with his supporters because he’s not fighting for a bad cause. It sends chills up and down my spine thinking of it. Also, I’m not too fond of Depp, but his delivery of Grindlewald, especially during the speech, was fantastic. If anything, his role of the villain offers you a chance to hate him all you want. I really enjoyed his portrayal this time around.

4. Oh my goodness, Newtina. I’ll admit, I wasn’t the biggest Newtina fan coming into this film. I liked them, but idk, the chemistry wasn’t really there for me and it seemed a bit forced. This film, however, changed my mind. My heart freakin broke hearing Newt call out to Tina in his home. He looked so utterly devastated. And Tina reacting so hurt to him, calling him Mr. Scamander? Rip out my heart and serve it on a plate, will you? Newt is freakin precious around her, and you could actually feel he was crazy about her this time. His cute little fawning over her eyes and her stance was precious. It reminded me of when Harry talks about Ginny having nice skin. Tina’s admiration for Newt also was precious. The way she finished his sentence, the way she understood his methods with the ZouWu? Idk, I could feel she really is starting to understand him and become attached. My heart melts for them this time around, and even though the kiss didn’t come, I think it’ll be there next time and beautiful as ever.

5. Dumbledore. Jude Law can freakin slay. I absolutely was in love with everything about his portrayal of Dumbledore. I literally have no complaints, he was perfection.

6. Credence, or whoever you are. This was a bit of whirlwind. If there was ever a part where I got tripped up, it was probably at this reveal. One moment he’s the son of that nanny of his, then he’s a Lestrange, and the next moment he’s some random? I really feel for his frustration because how do you even comprehend all that. I full out shouted though when his big ending cliffhanger thing happened. A lot of people are tripped up because “in the canon verse Dumbledore only had one brother and one sister, JKR is ruining everything, doom and gloom forever.” However, let’s look at what JKR said: not everything we think we know at the end is true. This could be another one of Grindlewald’s mind games. Remember, Queenie told Grindlewald Credence was unsure of his choice. What if this is a ploy to retain his trust? And, if it is true, what if there is a lot more to the story that we will find out that explains why Credence went absolutely unknown and unspoken of in the original Harry Potter books? We are only two movies in to a five part series, everyone. There’s time to figure things out. Don’t let that stop you from enjoying the movie and ones to come.

7. My dear Leta & Theseus. Theseus was what I thought he would be. The kind of outgoing, stiff, Percy-like character who plays a near opposite of his brother. I liked though the moments when Theseus let his guard down and took care toward Newt. His hug was one of those times, and at the end when Newt hugs him back? Magic, right there. I wish we knew a bit more about how he came to be with Leta, but that’s okay. I loved getting to know her a bit and see her past with Newt. She seemed like someone who would give it all to protect those she felt she wronged or cared about, so I do not see her passing as all that out of the blue. Someone needed to do it, and it did two really important things. One, it gave Theseus something other than his boring ministry job’s orders to fight for. Two, it made Newt finally choose a side. Though our time was short with her, I adored her being around.

8. And then there’s Nagini. I feel like we will get way more time with her toward the end of the series. I loved her being there as Credence’s support and friend. I’m still wildly intrigued as to how she ends up in Voldemort’s company, especially after seeing her so pointedly choose against Grindlewald.

9. The Troublemakers: Nicolas Flamel and McGonagall. Flamel was honestly really funny here, and I know some people have said he was pointless, but I really enjoyed him being there. He provided a good moment of comic relief, and in the end he helped save the day. Not every character has to be some dark, deep character. As for Minerva, I know the timeline is wrong. I get it. I think that was a bit of fan service so people who are HP fans but aren’t as into FB see a familiar face. Not everyone is reading up on HP lore and timelines. To some people, there is no problem with it. It sucks for those who know about the issue, but I don’t think it’s enough to start a riot against JKR for. There’s loads that doesn’t always make sense in the HP universe, and frankly, this will go down with that. Take a deep breath and move forward, everyone.

10. Lastly, Jacob. My sweet summer child. He’s really put through the ringer with this movie. One second he’s engaged, the next second he’s lost in London, then his girlfriend suddenly isn’t with him and he finds her at some villain rally? One man can only take so much. I feel for him at the end when he’s so incredibly lost and looking ready to die. Bless Tina for keeping an eye on him. I’m really glad he has Newt around. His moments with Newt were adorable, and I love that he, much like Tina, is starting to accept that Newt’s just a quirky guy. He’s starting to read and understand him more, which I loved the expression of when he stops going on about Queenie to talk about Tina for the very depressed Newt. He’s really coming around. I hope there’s a happy ending in the ropes for him. He’s more than just a character used for comic relief. I think he has something destined in the future. I just want it to be good.

Thanks for reading this incredibly long review! As reward, enjoy a Newt.

#fantastic beasts spoilers #fbcog #newt scamander #fantastic beasts and where to find them #fantastic beasts #crimes of grindlewald #cog spoilers #fbawtft

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emeraldspiral · 5 years

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So I saw Venom last night opening weekend but totally forgot about this draft until now.

As I expected, Venom is not good, but it’s not so much that there’s anything exceptionally bad about it. It’s just missing a certain je ne sais quoi that good movies have that make them really satisfying.

It’s more complicated than being, cliche”, “disjointed”, “tonally inconsistent”, or “confused”.

So I’m just gonna say things that I thought about off the top of my head.

There’s an extent to where I feel like it’s nitpicking to call a story cliche, because sometimes a story just demands a certain type of structure. Like, you have to establish what normal is before you can show how the plot device changes things for the main character, then you have to show them struggling to adapt to whatever changes occur because of the plot device, then start to get the hang of things, then have a big setback, then have a triumphant comeback. That I can deal with.

But then there’s stuff like how they handled the villain that just felt incredibly phoned-in.

Like, I think the first scene of him he’s giving this really idealistic speech to a bunch of kids and a girl wants to ask him a question and the other kids shush her for no apparent reason (maybe they just wanted the lecture to be over with because they were bored?) and the bad guy makes this very on the nose speech about how some people like to silence others and stop them from asking questions and I should note that the bad guy is played by Riz Ahmed and the little girl was black. So you think you just got your first hint of what his villainous motive is and you think there’s going to be some kind of political statement. Like he or his parents were speaking out against oppression or something and then they got “silenced” and now he has some radical crackpot theories about solving all the problems of humanity through like, eugenics or something really taboo and now feels like he’s being “silenced” again because everyone’s telling him he’s insane and no one’s ever gonna get on board with his plan. But no, it ends up having nothing to do with his motivation at all. It was just there so he could show his true nature as a hypocrite in the next scene when he “silences” Eddie, specifically for asking questions he didn’t like.

Riz’s actual motivation is just... I don’t even know man. Like, the reason he’s established as a villain from the beginning is that he preys on vulnerable communities to get test subjects who he just slaughters en mass in order to create pharmaceuticals to treat like cancer and stuff. So it’s like, he’s an idealist who wants to save the world, but at the same time he has like no regard for human life. Like, it’s never indicated that he’s in it for profit or power or prestige, so all we’re left with is “He’s simultaneously a bleeding heart and a heartless misanthropic murderer. But the thing that really makes his character seem phoned-in is how they don’t have an explanation for why he’s so reckless and cuts corners and tries to go way too far way too fast with the symbiotes. He’s not under any pressure to produce results, he’s not about to lose funding. He just wants immediate results because...? My best guess is that since Eddie starts the interview listing things he achieved at a ridiculously young age that maybe it’s some kind of commentary about millennials being impatient and wanting instant gratification when it comes to the changes they want to see in the world. Either that or maybe it’s something like the Jurassic Park scientists being so over-eager to do something with their scientific breakthroughs they don’t bother to stop and consider the consequences.

The rules for symbiotes are a little confusing. We’re told they need an “exact match” and we’re shown several times the symbiotes rejecting hosts. But then we also see Venom and Riot just jumping into whatever bodies they want and being fine.

Also, they establish that the symbiotes basically eat the hosts from the inside out even when they are a match, but also need their hosts to survive. Venom tells Eddie that he wouldn’t eat him because he's a strong host and he likes him, but then later we learn that he has been eating his organs after all. Venom denies it, so you think maybe they’re mistaken somehow when they tell him his heart as atrophied. But no, he really was eating Eddie and at the end that’s just resolved with Venom telling Eddie he needs to eat more food if he doesn’t want Venom snacking on his liver. Like, is his heart still atrophied? Can Venom help him rebuild it? Does he need Venom to live now?

One of the biggest issues I take with the movie is how casually it treats cannibalism. Like, it’s a PG-13 movie with cannibalism in it. That alone is kind of unbelievable. But on top of that like, it happens multiple times, and the people involved just barely react to it. No projectile vomiting and curling up into a fetal position or anything. They’re just like “Oh, Venom, in my body, bit that guy’s head off. That’s mildly distressing.��

The other biggest issue I have is that the symbiotes look like shit. Spider-Man 3′s symbiote looked way better. The new symbiotes look incredibly fake, not just because they’re CGI, but like just the concept of them. They don’t look or move like they have real physical properties like mass or texture. They look like they’re trying to go for a liquid or gelatinous look, but it comes out looking like something that would’ve been considered cutting edge 10 years ago in a pre-rendered video-game cutscene.

I liked that the girlfriend at the beginning wasn’t just there to be a part of Eddie’s happy perfect life that he loses and then we never see her again so there was no point getting us invested in her instead of whoever the actual female lead is. She actually comes back and is useful. I also liked that at the end of the movie she didn’t just dump her boyfriend who did nothing wrong to get back with Eddie. But then, they ruined it by having Venom say they were going to win her back.

Which reminds me; why even have the fake-out where we think Venom is dead? There was no explanation for how he survived. No, “Oh, I thought he was gone! But it turns out there was a piece of him left somewhere and he reconstituted himself” or anything. We just cut immediately from “Goodbye Eddie” to “Psych! You totally thought he was really dead didn’t you! JK! He’s still around”. Also, what in-universe reason does Eddie have to lie to his ex the same way the movie lied by making her think Venom is gone? Especially if he’s going to be biting people’s heads off in public as if that’s not going to get back to her?

I also felt like Venom’s relationship with Eddie was underdeveloped. Like, Venom just attaches himself to Eddie, forces him to eat until he pukes, then beats up a bunch of people and suddenly he’s like “I like you Eddie” and “Oh, look at this skyline, maybe I don’t want to destroy the earth after all”. Like, we just met Venom, we didn’t even spend any time establishing what he thought of earth or humanity or Eddie before. We didn’t even know he planned on destroying humanity until he said that he didn’t want to anymore because the skyline was pretty. The only explanation we get for why Venom likes Eddie is him saying that Eddie’s a loser and on his planet, Venom’s a loser too but on earth he’s a badass, and that’s why he wants to keep the other symbiotes from taking over the planet. My pet theory though is that the real reason Venom takes a shine to Eddie is because prior to attaching himself to Eddie, Venom was using a homeless woman who knew Eddie as a host, and because Eddie was nice to her, her positive feelings toward him were transferred to Venom.

The end credits were really cool looking and even though it’s not really my jam I thought it was kinda cool that they wrote an actual song about Venom, (sounded like Eminem, would not be surprised if it was). You know, we really don’t see a whole lot of movies with songs written just for them. Like, Will Smith used to do it back in the 90s but the only other movie I can think of in recent memory that has it’s own song written specifically for and about it, is that David Hasselhoff disco number from the end credits of GotG 2. Even musicals tend to write their songs to be generic enough that they can be divorced from the context of the movie so they can be played on the radio and you can just imagine that they’re talking about you and your non-specific relatable experience.

Also, in the end credits there was a piece that sounded so much like Invader Zim music I was almost convinced Kevin Manthei worked on the film, and it looks like he has done some work with the Spider-Man franchise, but I didn’t see Venom anywhere on his IMDB. So IDK, if it’s just a coincidence, or if the composer was ripping off/inspired by Manthei, or if the music actually was originally composed by Manthei, but was used on a TV series or game first and became iconic enough that they wanted to keep using it, kinda like how they keep using the 60s “Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can” song in every Spider-Man film, even though they also have their own original themes.

If you stick around all the way to the end of the end credits you will actually surprisingly not get trolled with a ten second scene of nothing happening like in a lot of Marvel movies. They actually played a lengthy, like five-ten minute clip from Into the Spider-Verse, which actually got me interested in Into the Spider-Verse. Although I feel like the demographic for that movie is not the same as the demographic for Venom. Venom was clearly an R that got neutered so it could be shown to a wider audience.

The film itself was pretty much entirely self-contained. There are exactly 0 references to the rest of the Marvel Cinematic universe. Nobody gets purged at the end like in Ant-Man and the Wasp, and there’s no reference to it having already happened. Nobody name-drops Tony Stark or any other Avenger, or SHIELD, or anything else in the MCU. The closest they ever get is having Eddie and his girlfriend have thick New York accents and reference having once lived there before Eddie was run out of town. I actually think they did that specifically to avoid having to acknowledge Spider-Man, the Avengers, Dr. Strange, or any other New York based hero or event in the MCU. Likewise, even though it’s set in San Francisco, there’s no references to Ant-Man either.

#venom #marvel #marvel comics #mcu

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voltron-queen-140 · 5 years

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My Notes on Season 8 - Part 1 of 2

I'm writing them as I watch the series but they may not be in order completely. My opinions and whilst I know no one cares I'm writing them anyway.

Episode 1:

PIDGE WITH BUNCHES IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN

The original Voltron is a TV show based on them?! Love it!

"I don't really sound like that, do I bae bae?"

Hunk is best bro/wingman 11/10 need a Hunk in my life

Okay I guess Allurance is happening. Good for Allurace shippers! I'm happy for you!

"Grounded? I wasn't aware humans could float" Romelle, I honestly love you.

Pidge is 15, nice to get an actual age

She's also grounded omg rip

"Apparently saving my brother and dad doesn't get me a pass!"

"We'll make sure she doesn't leave the ground once"

PIDGE NO, PUT YOUR NORMAL OUTFIT ON

ALSO STOP WITH THAT VOOOOOOICE

Keith and Lance bonding 😍 it's not what I was hoping for but I didn't expect it to be canon, I'll take what I'm given.

Ugghhhh I need more of Lance family dynamic!!!! Fanfic writing time.

Oh no no no, it's a little early in the relationship for "I love you" ugh I always cringe when people say I love you in shows and books when they've only been going out for like a day, no matter the ship.

Episode 2:

Baby/kid Lotor is cute

I like how he was named

Seeing how Lotor was raised I can't blame him for being a little... extravagant

OMG HE WAS ACTUALLY WORKING WITH THE PEOPLE ON THAT PLANNET AND IT GOT DESTROYED?! W O W THAT HAS TO HURT.

Episode 3:

Am... am I meant to remember this dude?

Oh? OH! So you're gonna insult Keith for being a half breed hu? And the Blade for accepting him as one of them? Hahahaha I hate you.

"Okay.... or we could just do this *hacks*" PIDGE MY QUEEN YAS

Rotten... food goo? If food goo can go rotten why didn't the food goo go rotten in the castle of Lions after 10 thousand years?

"I don't know what it's going to take to get it through your thick skull, but we are not your enemy" aaaahhhh I see the red paladin in my boy Lance now. I could jam to that all day, YES MY BOY. -right after that guy accused Keith of releasing the monster deliberatly, I know it means nothing but my Laith shipper heart will treasure it for years to come-

That monster hurt cosmo so I'm going to hurt it.

Of course the Galra and the Galra Half-breed are the ones locked in a room with the Galra hating monster. Of course.

Lance's face when Keith -and the other guy but shhhhh- gets locked in, has me in tears. My ship may not sail but I'll cherish these moments.

Also Pidge and Hunk's faces. I stan a paladin space family

"Keith!" "We're coming for ya!" I 👏 STAN 👏 ONE 👏 SPACE FAM 👏

KEITH'S BAYARD BECAME A GUN BLASTER THING OMG I'M SCREAMING

Episode 4:

Omfg Pidge's love of the olcary is so pure

"ThAt WaSN't ThE RhYMe!"

I was not ready to see my gal cry again. Please protect her

Pidge is a QUEEN

Episode 5:

GAY

That is all

Episode 6:

I missed Slav

Uuuuugghhhhhh guys I don't have the patience for an atlas and a voltron transformation

Oh thank Quiznack they skipped the Voltron transformation

Ezor's voice sounds different but idk

Zethred's techie is a m a z i n g I love him

"How do we fix it?" "for starters you have to TAKE OFF YOUR SOOOOOCKS"

Fucking Lotor's back

Episode 7:

Okay... kinkade is cute.

"You making a movie?! Cool. Can I be in it? No wait, if this is an action movie- is it?- I don't wanna be in it."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you. I'll make you some doggie treats later."

Seriously though who let bae bae come on this mission? Could she not have stayed with someone on earth? Is it wise to have a dog bouncing around a space ship that can turn into a mech and fights in battles?

"But... I like cooking."

"So... is this interview over?" "N o. Great. Now the talent is getting restless."

"The camera!" "Leave it! We need to go!" "BUT THIS IS GOLD" okay. Okay my love for these two is growing.

W- was that Sal from Vepit Sal's?

"Need to get someone more exciting in here" *cuts to Coran*

Okay so more Allurance, I'm happy for Allurance shippers, bet you guys are thriving!

"No that's private" Kinkade you're so sweet! Too good for this world.

Hunk is such a sunshine child I love him!

Episode 8:

Okay. Allurance is cute. It's growing on me.

"I better go find the arcade and... make sure it's safe" *noom* "uhhh me too" *noom* "me three" *noom*

*elongated sigh* Allura. You fell right into their trap. You still trust Lotor and now I'm feeling iffy about your relationship with Lance again right after it started go grow on me. You aren't over Lotor yet are you?

🎵Coran Coran the Non-Truth telling man🎶

Pidge is hitting coran as if she's been waiting to do it for a long time... what did he ever do to you Pidge?

"Okay that's a start! Did you get a good look at- it's me isn't it." I WILL NEVER NOT LOVE THIS BOY

🎶"Wadda we say? Clear day clear day clear-"🎶 "I've gotta get out of here" my BOY

"In that case you can get one of these shovels and dig yourself out of the hole you find yourself in." I STAN THIS GIRL CAN SHE BE MY FAVOURITE BACKGROUND CHARACTER?!?!

I call using a mechanical arm in an arm wrestling match cheating but kay. IT'S NOT EVEN ATTACHED TO HIS BODY WTF

Pidge puppy eyes!

Pidge and colleen bargaining on the photo is amazing! Yes.

So... is that chick Matt's girlfriend? Because I will happily add that to my mountain of Matt ships yes yes.

So clearly Allura still likes Lotor but she also likes Lance which is why she's so close to freeing that damned thing (I refuse to say entity becuase it's been said enough) when both of them talk to her.

Well FU-

Keith's having a mental breakdown. I can't blame him, could you imagine being stuck on It's a Small World for hours?

"THAT'S IT" *slices through bar with his Bayard and runs*

Once again, am I meant to remember this guy?

Shiro winning that arm wrestle because he looked at the team is the new "do it for them"

#voltron #lance mcclain #keith kogane #takashi shirogane #pidge gunderson #katie holt #season 8 #spoilers #voltron season 8 #hunk voltron #hunk garret #hunk #princess allura #coran #voltron legendary defender #vld #my notes #my opinions

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printedpeterparker · 6 years

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Good Girls

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Type: 5 Seconds of a Summer Series

Word Count: 2k

Warning: Swearing, 2nd Base Action idk, not completely edited

Summary: The one where Y/N is tired of being the good girl all the time

Note: All the lyrics are bolded & lyric inspired lines are bolded and italicized. Never heard the song? Give it a listen here! Here’s the main masterlist and the series masterlist and did you miss the last one? Here’s the previous chapter!

For some reason, the last two post of this series don’t show up in any tags but a couple days ago, “Don’t Stop” did and I’m frankly confused. So for now, i’m untag this one and wait a couple days. If you know of a solution, please let me know! B xx

January 7

“So, how was France?” Peter asked you he asked as he walked into school.

You had left to see your parents on December 20th. You missed them dearly, but all they talked about was you doing great in school and getting ready for college. After a while, you couldn’t miss your grandma and friends more; they came with no pressure attached.

“Mainly my parents reminding me about college, my dad especially because he rants and raves about how he’s saved for Harvard,” you explained, annoyance reigned over you just by thinking about it.

“Well, you’re definitely smart and impressive enough to go there,” Peter reminded you. That was one of the things that Peter liked about you; you were brilliant by every sense of the word. “I mean, you’re always truant, only getting straight A’s, basically fluent in French, and you still manage to improve yourself. You’re just an overall good girl. They’d crazy not to accept you.”

You both stopped by your locker twisting the lock, “That’s the thing, Pete. I’m expected to be perfect and I’m tired.” It was just how you were raised; you were expected to do great things in school in hopes that you became just like your parents. But since that was all they wanted, that’s all they asked about.

“You aren’t all that perfect, Y/N. I mean, you were mixing drinks at that party and stuff.”

“Yeah, but who wasn’t at that party, y’know?” you sighed. “Even Peter Parker was at that party,” you teased.

“Ouch,” he hissed fakely. “I think you’re right, but I think he also took Y/N Y/L/N home because she needed a ride, did I hear that right?”

You smiled at him before attending to your lock, “Touché, Parker. But I still have your hoodie. I actually brought it to Nice with me.”

The thought of you still holding on to a piece of him made his heart flutter. “So, my hoodie went international?”

You hummed in response. You met his sweet brown eyes before looking down at your shoes, “But if you want it back. I can give it to you tomorrow.”

“No,” he quickly decided, “I really want you to keep it.” He had actually decided to let you keep the hoodie when he didn’t ask for it after dropping you off.

Peter noticed your eyes brighten like they usually do when you were excited, “Really?”

“Consider it your extended Christmas gift.”

Before you left, Peter had given you a framed photo of you both that you made MJ take after you had beaten her and Ned in another game along with the scoreboard. Along with that, he gave you your favorite candy and new mug with your first name initial.

You had also given Peter a framed photo of you both, but it was a photo of you both asleep on your coach that Ned thought was funny. Additionally, you sent him some French graphic tees that you knew he could understand. You taught him some words that you thought would be useful to him.

“Fine, the hoodie stays with me,” you said happily. Your smile continued when you saw and waved at Cooper, your boyfriend of almost a month. He approached you.

“Hey, baby. Haven’t talked to you since you left,” he sweetly greeted. He slightly checked Peter’s shoulder, making him almost hit the locker next to yours, before kissing your cheek. “What’s up, Parker?” At least he didn’t say Penis.

“Hey, man,” Peter muttered. He looked smug with his arm wrapped around you. Peter hadn’t seen Cooper since the party, but he still remembered the look he gave him as if he knew. Maybe he did know. “I gotta speak to Ned, but I’ll see you after school--library, yes?”

Before you could agree, Cooper interrupted, “I swear she lives in that library.”

You shrugged before echoing under her breath, “Let’s where you’ll find me, but yeah, I’ll see you there, Peter.”

He nodded as backing away before completely turning around to walk away. He wiped the image out of his mind of you and Cooper as he tried to get ready for his first class. He thought if he didn’t see you for a little bit, his feelings would lessen and he could possibly move; in actuality, he missed you more. You texted him when you had the chance with the time zone change, but you tried focusing on your family when you were there.

But at least you tried with Peter, and to him, that made all the difference.

Peter didn’t see you much throughout the day; well actually, he saw you, but you both didn’t speak. He couldn’t help but notice you spending more time with Cooper. If Peter went to stop at your locker, Cooper would be there. He even went as far as to take you to your classes--an act he never did in the past. MJ and Ned also noticed; they both told him it was simply due to the fact that you hadn’t seen your boyfriend in a little over two weeks.

It continued like that for a couple of days. You had lunch together with your other three friends, but it wasn’t very personal. You had the library, but you both were swamped with homework every night; it finally became a priority to get a majority of it done before either of you left.

But on Friday, even though you usually did some homework on Friday, Peter had different plans.

January 12

Friday was no different than the routine that you had picked up a couple days ago. You were side-by-side with Cooper for most of the day when you could be. It was odd for Peter to not talk to you. He still had Ned and MJ, but the conversations you and Peter had been different; he still couldn’t explain why.

“I cannot believe you’re going to ask her out.”

Peter quickly shook his head, “I’m not asking her out. I’m just going to ask her if she wants to see a movie tonight because we haven’t hung out in awhile,” he tried to explain.

“Yeah, so you’re asking her to hang out with only you at the movies, or aka a date.”

“It’s not a date,” he muttered under his breath as he approached the library.

Usually, Peter could see you there when you sat in your usual spot, but it looked like you were there yet. Instead, it looked completely empty.

“Can I watch you do this?” Ned asked over Peter’s shoulder.

“No! Don’t come in.”

Before Ned could respond, Peter entered the library. It was completely quiet besides the only noisy heater blasting in the back. He took a seat in the grey chair. Although he claimed it wasn’t a date, he was nervous to even ask. Nervousness already came from the fact that you hadn’t shown up yet.

It was only Peter and the librarian sitting there. She glanced up at Peter, not used to seeing him sitting there by himself. You were always there first.

“She’s in the back of the library,” the little librarian told Peter before returning to her work on the computer.

He took note of her words and got up from his seat and headed towards the back. The library was stacked with book stands, over 1000s of books sitting on them. When Peter made it to the back wall, he saw your bag next to one of the shelf, rehearsing what he was going to ask you specifically.

It was critical that he didn’t make it sound like a date.

He sighed as he rounded the shelf that your bag sat against. What he saw was almost enough to knock him down.

There you were in the back of the room where no one looks, you were with your boyfriend.

“Peter!” you yelped. Cooper’s mouth was still sucking on your neck, his hands clearly cupping your ass against the sturdy bookshelf. You looked like a deer in headlights. Peter was completely frozen. He didn’t know whether to leave, speak up, or simply drop dead. “Cooper, stopped,” you commanded. He groaned before letting you go. “Sorry time really passed me by,” you blushed, looking at the time on your phone. “You ready?”

“No, actually I w-was going to ask to you if you uh wanted to hang out before I got to my internship but…” He looked over at Cooper fixing his blonde hair annoyed that you two were interrupted. “But you seem really busy, so I might go early instead.”

“Yeah, we were kinda busy,” Cooper hissed. “So why don’t you just turn around and forget what you saw, Parker.” Peter quickly turned around to leave ignoring your call to him. “Looks like your schedule cleared up, baby.”

You crossed your arms, “I still have work to do.”

“Hey, you’re the one who said they didn’t want to be known as the perfect good girl all the time,” he muttered, touching the top of your jeans. “Good girls are bad girls that haven’t been caught, darling.”

You bit your lip and shook your head. You slapped his hand that was edging near the button of your jeans, “I want to be a little different, but I’m not trying to fuck you in a library, Cooper.”

He dramatically groaned, “How about my place tonight after you finish your work?”

“Jesus, Cooper, no!”

“Okay, okay.” He defensively placed his hands up. “But you are trying to be more adventurous, I can take you somewhere tonight that’s not too crazy, but...just enough to give you an adrenaline fix.”

That peaked your interest.

It was getting dark and Peter felt exhausted as he sat on a ledge, overlooking Brooklyn. He thought about you and Cooper, and it only made him upset. At this point, it was getting harder for him to stay happy for you. It was becoming painful.

“Hello, Peter,” he heard Karen speak calmly.

“Hey, Karen.” he sheepily responded.

“You seem sad which is odd since you have stopped two handbag robberies, save one child from being hit by an oncoming car, and you mentioned that you aced your physics test,” she listed off. “Would you like to view your highlights on YouTube?”

He shook his head, “No, it’s just Y/N.”

Peter had talked a lot about you to Karen on multiple occasions. He never had to worry about Karen relaying information back to you or make fun of him, but she also never gave the best advice.

“I just don’t know what to do anymore, Karen; it’s getting worse,” he slowly admitted. “I think about her all the time even when I’m out here. She’s amazing; I really wish you could meet her; you’d like her.”

“Mm, you talk very highly of her. Would you like to go visit her at her home?” she asked, pulling up the coordinates of your grandma’s house. “The scanner appears to be clear tonight.”

“No, Karen! That’s creepy!” he told her. She quickly rid the screen of your address. He shook his head and looked down at the street below. “I think we’re done for the night, Karen. Time to book it home.”

He started heading home since he knew May was out for the night. He swung and jump from each building to the next simply thinking about what he was going to do when he got home. He never got the chance to do his homework with you; he could get a jumpstart on that. Or—

“Peter, you have an incoming call from Y/N,” Karen speak as he hit the top of the last building. “Would you li—”

“Yes!” he interrupted. He quickly slowed down to answer the phone. “Hey, Y/N. What’s up?”

“A-are you busy right now with Tony Stark or something?” he heard you quietly ask.

“I’m leaving now. Why?” He heard you whimper on the other end of the call. Peter completely stopped on the roof. “Y/N, are you okay? She I call your grandma?”

“No!” Your tone became clear and loud. “She can’t know, Peter.”

“Okay, okay...”

You took a breath, leaving him in silence.“Peter, something bad happened…” he heard you say choked up. “I-I thought—”

“Y/N, where are you? I can come get you. You don’t even have to tell me what it is. Just let me come get you,” he begged you. Peter felt your heartbreak. You were silent for a moment. “Y/N?”

“Peter...I’m in an NYPD holding cell.”

Please send requests for blurbs and one-shots here xx

Next Chapter: Heartbreak Girl

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Tag List: @trailofgasoline @jaredpadalacking @kaylaashley @captainmommaoftwogirls @goldjuggie @wywholland @teenect @hmu-joseph @dearfudgemuffins

#peter parker #tom holland #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #peter parker fluff #peter parker smut #tom holland fluff #mcu fic #5 seconds of a summer seires #5 seconds of summer #5sos

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greeblingyaoza · 6 years

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Just because it’s been on my mind, here’s some of my unpopular or at least maybe somewhat controversial FMA opinions. Just for fun. Putting it under a read more because it’s kind of long and I also don’t know how to make things short and simple at all, lmao.

-I find Greed smoking to be very unattractive. I find it unattractive in general, anyways. I know he smokes in 03, and it may be implied in the manga, idk, but I just grew up to despise cigarettes due to how I grew up and I just...the smell...the way it discolors things and sticks to things... I love Greed but he’d just have to keep it outside, away from me, lmao.

-I find Ling/Greedling to be more attractive than first Greed. There, I said it. I love Greed. First Greed is very attractive, don’t get me wrong. But I’ll be honest...when I first watched FMA, he really was not my type. Not quite pretty boy enough for me, I guess. After I got to know his character later on...he naturally became more attractive to me. But I still have a bias towards the overall Greedling look. That’s totally my type.

-I know some people see the slapstick in FMA as glorifying abuse, but I think that’s a stretch. I don’t think Winry is automatically an abusive wife because of the slapstick in the series. Going by Arakawa’s works, she seems to enjoy using physical slapstick a lot. Maybe physical slapstick is not something that should ever be used for comedic purposes, but it happens in so many cartoons that it seems to be kind of the norm. It personally doesn’t bother me, and I can see where it my bother some, but I don’t think it’s something Arakawa or her characters should necessarily be condemned for.

-I don’t think the reason that the fandom seems more saddened by the Nina situation and Hughes’ death than the Ishvalan genocide is necessarily because the fans are racist. Nina and Hughes were named characters the viewers got to see and maybe even get attached to. They were also personal to Edward’s story and experience. Yes, the Ishvalan genocide is definitely a greater tragedy, but it happened pre-series, and there weren’t any Ishvalan characters shown who died in the genocide for people to get attached to beforehand. It’s kind of like watching an anime where lot’s of people die, but lot’s of those people are background no-name characters. Of course people are going to care more the named characters that were established in the story. That said, I’m most saddened by Greed’s death above all else in the series. Yes, I realize the genocide was worse, but Greed was a character that I love and feel attachment to. It’s just that simple to me.

-It’s okay to be a Kimblee fan. Liking villainous characters who are all around bad people is totally okay. It’s different if someone is excusing their actions. Envy literally killed an Ishvalan child with no remorse. He’s still pretty loved. I like Envy as a character, but he/they’re still a pretty remorseless piece of lizard dung.

-The thing with Nina doesn’t make me as sad as most people. I knew about it way before watching the anime and it’s been memed so much that I feel unaffected by it at this point.

-I think Roy and Riza are inherently good people at heart and don’t deserve to suffer/die/be unhappy for the rest of their lives because of what they did in Ishval. They’re working hard to make things better and help the Ishvalans, and that speaks volumes to me.

-I’m neutral on whether Roy should have stayed blind or not. Either way, I’m fine with it. I can see both sides of the argument though.

-Lan Fan isn’t as bad or flat of a character as some people may think. The anime missed out on a big part of her character development, though granted it’s because her Japanese VA couldn’t be available to do those parts. It’s understandable, life happens, but it’s still kind of disappointing. Also, she’s not just some obsessed Ling fangirl. She doesn’t even act that way. She’s protective of him mainly because it’s what she was raised to do. That said I totally think she loves him and Lingfan is beautiful.

-The color blindness thing with Ed and Miles was poorly executed. I won’t lie. But I can also see where it came from and can understand where Arakawa/dub script writers/etc may have thought it was “progressive” or “good.” I myself used to think that was a good way of thinking until I learned better. Also, I think the dub did make it sound worse than it was originally intended, but it may have still been a bit...eehhh beforehand. I get where it’s a flaw that shouldn’t be ignored, but I don’t think Arakawa/the series should be dragged for it either. Good intentions, poorly worded/executed.

-I can see Ling being bi/pan, even het. Not so much gay.

-I don’t see the Win/Fan ship so much. I get where it would be interesting if they actually had some meaningful interaction in the show, but they didn’t. In theory maybe I could see it? But I usually don’t pay much attention to ships that don’t have a lot of canon backing/heavy interactions. So it’s probably just a personal preference for shipping.

-I’ve said this before, but I really don’t like the idea that Ling went back to Xing, took his 50 wives, had babies with them, and continued the same twisted system that’s hurting his country. It does’t align with the fact he said he’d accept all the other clans and not continue the clan wars.

-Adding to that, I don’t like when people say Lingfan CAN’T happen because Ling MUST take these wives and have a bunch of babies, and he has no choice in the matter, or he wants to keep the 50 wives system for some reason (because he wants trophy wives??Idk?) Or you know, because Lan Fan is a guard and it would never be allowed. No one knows for sure what happened after he went back. Lingfan could totally happen...or not. No need to shatter hopes. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-Not saying fma is some ultra feminist series or feminist at all (not intended to be at least), but I think the female characters are in general well rounded and have different things they do in their lives, and that makes it feel more realistic. We have badass fighters, leaders, guards, housewives (nothing wrong with being a housewife if that’s what someone wants), mothers, mechanics, etc. It may not be perfect but the reason it gets praised so much for female characters is that it does them better than a lot of anime. Could it be better? Yes. But there are those that claim that FMA is just so misogynistic that it may have well been written by a man (I’ve seen this)...and well...can’t agree at all. It’s pretty well handled considering cultural context.

-03 and Brotherhood are good in their own ways. I prefer Brotherhood a million times over (plus the manga!) for my own reasons (Ling and Greed’s development are huge reasons why) but sometimes the hate for 03 gets a little out of hand. A lot of people hate it only for not following the manga and characterizing the characters a bit differently. However, that was a part of the point. It was supposed to be different. And Arakawa herself approved of it and loved it (also if anyone thinks they “took her work and bastardized it” she wanted them to make it different). The 03 vs BH comparison arguments are so tiring and pointless. Actually when I see people who think 03 is so superior and constantly put down Brotherhood, it actually at times made me feel bad for preferring BH (because I’m insecure), and drove me further away from 03. I also know that 03 fans have to deal with people crapping all over their favorite series far more than BH fans do, so it’s all annoying.

-There should be more FMA Pokemon aus. The characters with Pokemon teams. I’m always a slut for Pokemon.

-Greed has a good heart. (Is this unpopular? Probably not, but adding it anyways)

-Ling is a good-hearted caring person who would try to do the best for his country and people and make it a better place. (Probably not unpopular, just have to say it.

-Ling and Greed, at the end of the day, are wonderful people, no matter their flaws.

-okay these opinions are becoming less unpopular so it’s time to stop.

I may have more, but I just can’t think of them right now. If anyone wants to debate or throw their opinion in, feel free too. Also feel free to reblog with your own unpopular opinions.

#I'm sorry that I can't stop gushing over Greed and Ling every chance I get #I just love my boyfriends a lot #fma #fmab #fma 03 #fullmetal alchemist #Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood #ling yao #greed #greedling #unpopular opinons #I guess #TIME TO START SOME CONTROVERSY IN THIS HERE FANDOM #I'm kidding #genuinelly

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profewriting · 3 years

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Found this when scrolling then decided to give it a try <3

How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 88 works in AO3 ;) also have some fics in write(.)as and FFn tho, but I think I won’t publish it in AO3 lol

What’s your total AO3 fanfic words count?

318.730 ! Omg I’ve never thought I’ve written that much lololol XD

More under the cut!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Those would be: 1. D-Kindergarten [Joker Game]. It’s actually a multichap I’ve written when I’ve just got into college. Just a cute fic where all the D-Agency’s agents become kindergarten children and Yuuki becomes their teacher. It actually was inspired by rio-san’s Joker Game fanart lol XD 2. Belanja? D-Online Aja! [Joker Game]. A parody fic that is set in the modern world. It has many pairings, but I remember I also include my Amari x OC ship here lol. I’ve never imagined people really like this? I’ve forgotten the ending thus it’s incomplete *sweating* 3. Auf Wiedersehen [Joker Game]. Sakuma/Miyoshi. Oh yeah, I’ll never forget this. This fanfiction became the second first Indonesian fic that had been posted in fandom Joker Game in AO3 lol XD I’ve made this right after eps 11 aired and got the feelings for angst then, bam! It’s here XD 4. Cerita (Sial) di Elevator (Sialan) [Joker Game]. Sakuma/Miyoshi. I got the idea from my own experience in my university. At that time, I was taking the elevator to reach my class, and these two guys came in AND ONE OF THEM SUDDENLY CORNERED HIS FRIEND AND MADE A SMUG SMILE. I was standing beside them and couldn’t process what the fck is happening LOLOLOLOL XD 5. Pernah Denger Nggak? - [Joker Game] OH YES!!!! MY HUMOR/PARODY FIC THAT GOT AWARD FOR BEST HUMOR/PARODY IN IFA 2019 <3 <3 actually it’s a flash fic I’ve made because I thought, wow it’s gonna be funny if D-Kikan’s agents adapted Indonesian spying method then, here it is XD

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes!! I like to talk with my readers, especially with someone who left a comment in my fic. It makes my will stronger wwwwww XD

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

... actually I’ve forgotten which fic has the angst ending lol. I’m more into angst with happy ending since I mostly only write about my OTP ((c’mon my otp already suffering in canon, they deserve a happy ending in my fics /stop)).

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Hmmmmm since I adore angst with happy ending and most of them haven’t completed yet, I think the happiest ending gonna be “there’s gold inside a pile of old dust” :>

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve ever written?

I’ve only written one this far. It’s about my three otps (I called it my crossover otps) from different series: Banana Fish, Joker Game, and D.Gray-man. So, the semes actually were voiced by Morikawa Toshiyuki and yes, I made three of them meet in some room (idk too why lol, I just wanna see them together and talk about themselves and realize how similar they are XD). But I’ve been thinking about another crossover au for these crossover otps in a more serious fanfic. I can’t wait to write them XD

Have you ever recieved hate on a fic?

I.... don’t have any memory about this. But, I think I received a very confusing review back then in FFn.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Hmmmmmm I write two kinds of smut: the pwp and the one with a complex plot HAHAHAHAHA XD it’s actually because I was pissed off since many people was “oh, you write smut? eeww. that must be horrible like w*ttp*d piece”. then I was just, “oh yeah? watch me.” then proceed to write 15k words smut with complex and detail plot lol XD But I also write short one like pwp. The last pwp I’ve written didn’t even reach 1k words. It’s Tyki and Lavi having sex in the corner of their classroom (yes, it’s based on Vocaloid song titled “Butterfly on Your Right Shoulder” lol).

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes, I have. But it’s quite a long ago when I’m still active in FFn. The worst part? The one who stole my fic is actually someone I’ve recognized who’s often giving my fic fav + follow. They literally stole my 5k words fic, split it into some chapters, and published in different fandom lol :“)) I still save the screenshot of it. They deleted the fic tho, after my friend left their fic pretending she’s been in the fandom and left a review in the plagiarized fic. I bet they deleted it because they thought nobody knew it was a plagiarized fic, but after they received my friend’s review, they suddenly deleted it.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I almost said no, but then I remembered about my Lucky pairing fic about Valentine’s Day that I’ve translated from Indonesian to English akdhaidhaidhaidhai lord I’m still shaking whenever I remember that fic. I still want to delete it but still haven’t get a heart to click delete button orzzzzz

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I’ve tried collaborating with some of my friends in the past. But the piece that ended up successfully was the Katekyou Hitman Reborn! fic about cloning :D ((lol I really like to make a complex fic haha XD))

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

You don’t want to ask me that, I’m serious. I will give you a long answer like De Grote Postweg. Just, don’t. When I ship something, I ship hard. I’ll post about that ship for 24/7 and will last for years. Just that. But recently I’ve been shipping Lucky Pairing (Tyki x Lavi) from D.Gray-man and still attached to my Amari x OC ship (I call it AmaOC lol)

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

DON’T MAKE ME WRITE MORE AFTER YOU ASKED MY FAVOURITE SHIP AKHDAIDHIADHIAA- But, there’s two fic ideas for Lucky pairing that I’ve been dying to write about. One is about historical fanfic and will take time during Portuguese-Japanese trade. The last one is about smut fic lol.

What are your writing strengths?

Hmmmmm. I’m quite good at making dialogues. Many of my friends and readers mention it a lot. And, I think I’m quite good at describing/making allegory (something about abstract things).

What are your writing weaknesses?

Latar tempat, demi Gusti nu Agung gua tolol bat di latar aaaaaaaaakkkkkkk kok orang bisa sih bikin latar tempat rinci gua jeles aaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkk orzzzzz

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

THE MOST ENJOYABLE PART!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

*sigh* lord, it’s from 07-Ghost, reincarnation!AU, and the pairing is Frau x Teito x Ayanami HAHA XD

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

OKAY THIS IS GONNA BE MY LAST CONFESSION I SWEAR ADHAIDHIAIDA. I have plenty of satisfying fics actually. 1) there’s gold inside a pile of old dust [D.Gray-man]. Tyki x Lavi. Historian!Lavi, Noble!Tyki, a bit heavy theme since it’s about the history of Portuguese nobles but also inaccurate. I could say it's my proudest work today. I’ve collected general information about Portugal’s history, and changed many aspects before posting it in AO3 :’DD it took me a year to finish that. No wonder it also became my longest oneshot work with 29k words. 2) agathokakological [Joker Game]. Many pairings. Psyco-Pass!AU. Like I’ve said, I like to make complex plot story lol, so this fic was complex and need a lot of brainstorming sessions XD

If someone wants to give it a try, please don’t hesitate/ask me. Just do it~! ;)

#fanfiction writer meme #my ao3 status #my fanfics

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aesjae · 7 years

Text

Boyfriend! Mark

#6 of Boyfriend! Series

Word Count: 2,214 ( yea i got carried away... again... hahahaa) Style/ Genre: Series-- Headcanon Date Posted: 17 Sept 2017

i feel so emotional just thinking about how we watched mark gradually grow up since the smrookies days

i mean he matured so much :”)

okay but anyways

for mark, i would take into the assumption that mark is an idol while he is your boyfriend (which would be different from other members)

i’m just going to comment on this first

mark is the epitome of perfecting the concept of duality man

okay let’s get on to it

just like jeno, he would be one of the sweetest boyfriends among all the nct members

and just like jaehyun, he would be extremely dorky

but the sweetness and dorkiness from mark would be different from other members

he would elude a different and unique aura in every aspect of him

like that mark boy video where he does cherry bomb and we young choreography?

yep just like that

with mark being your boyfriend

you would be able to see completely new sides of him as compared to when you were merely his friend

he would be really manly in terms of protection and would always stand up for you

if somebody teased you about something

a text to mark and he would zoom right to where you were

oh but if you were shorter

the only teasing he would not protect you from is those about your height

he would probably chide the other person off for attacking someone smaller than them

but when both of you walk away

he would rest his arm on your head, snickering

bUT ACTUALLY

he would just be dorky and adorable most of the time

the manly side he had was more of an exterior

because when he's with you

he melts

literally

because some people are worth melting for ;)

he would become this really fluffy soft ball

it's was as if there was a hidden teddy bear spirit in him

but we all know marks an actual teddy bear so

in front of the dreamies

he's like this very independent and reliable leader and elder

even though he gets attacked by all of them every time

he would be firm about his decisions and instructions

but when it comes to you

he wouldn't even be able to bring himself to be as firm

let's say both of you were on a smoothie date

and you begged mark for you to get another glass

mark would obviously be aware that you shouldn't be drinking so much sugar

but the way you asked of him just made his heart go pudding and liquidy

he would part his lips in protest because he cares about your health

but then the sparkles in your eyes in anticipation of his approval just grasp onto his heart like

‘bOY UR GURL IS BEGGING YOU’

and mark’s just like

"h- .... haish, fine."

and when you actually get your second glass of smoothie

mark would feel so elated looking at your blissful expression??

and when you just sip on your smoothie like an excited little child

internally he would be like "i'm so glad i fell in love with this angel here??"

and he would actually be shocked with himself because he had never told you that he had loved you yet

since it had only been a few months into your relationship

yet that thought popped up so effortlessly and unconsciously

since mark is an idol in this boyfriend!,

he would actually be quite busy

especially since he is in 3 subunits, and also has individual activities

he may not be able to reply to your texts or voice/ video call you very often

but whenever you start spamming him with messages and raving over his latest comeback/ activity

with tons of emojis and sound effects

they never fail to put a wide grin on his face

seeing you being so excited like a puppy gives him more reason to persevere on

even though being an idol was tough

you gave him courage and motivation to carry on his a smile on his face

whenever during fanmeets/ fansigns/ lives

and a fan mentions your name

that particular comment would capture his whole attention

and a faint blush would instinctively start tainting his cheeks

they weren't v bright but were obvious enough for his members and fans to start teasing him about

there would definitely be some fans who wouldn't be happy about your relationship with him

and even though he really loved all of his fans

mark would be quite upset about the hate you were getting from some of the fans

he would probably take a protective stance for you

making a public statement (maybe in an interview or smthg) that he understands that not everybody would be satisfied with his relationship with you, but he wouldn't be able to satisfy everyone, hence, the only person he would focus on making happy in this affair, is you.

and that would really touch you tbh

you knew that mark was a sensitive person

but he was very strong willed

so if he had to make such a statement against certain fans of his

he must've really treasured his relationship with you

it was this that made you develop even stronger feelings for mark

even when mark wasn't in a relationship with you yet, he composed amazing lyrics

so when he became attached to you, wow i shit you not,

every single song and lyrics he wrote would be like hITTING THE CHARTS

he would dedicate most of his songs and lyrics that he wrote to you

constantly thanking you for the continuous and never-ending support you provided him with

and for always staying by his side even though he wasn't able to physically stay by your side every time

the songs and lyrics would be so pure

and they resonated the innocent and truly authentic feelings he had for you

when mark finally has a break from activities,

he would usually spend most of his days with you

on some of the days, maybe just relaxing with you either at home or in the dorms

uall can go from a lazy day full of cuddling on the couch and literally just doing nothing but lying down beside each other

to hardcore jamming to different tunes

dancing around the house/ dorm like mad people

to just sincere acoustic playing of instruments and singing

mark’s vocals weren’t the best

but whenever he sang

his mellow and soulful voice warmed your heart

and when he looked directly into your eyes as he sang

your insides just start to do their thing

like flip flop backflip somersault cartwheel forward backward rolls

and when he rapped

it gave you completely different feelings

mark would be brimming with charisma while rapping

a distinctively different aura as compared to mark singing

and you feel your blood pulsating with adrenaline

feeling yourself getting sucked into his endless charms

whether or not you were musically inclined,

mark would really enjoy making music with you

like sharing his passion with the love of his life?

wOw he would have never felt so blessed

it was as if reality was a dream ( dream is reality )

yea but the majority of mark’s dreams had you in them

on some of the days of his break spent with you

both of you would go out and do various kinds of activities

maybe zoo dates with mark

oh that’d be realllyyyyyy fun

“oH MARK YOUR COUSINS”

mark: ???????

you: *points to the monkeys in their enclosure and grins like a fool*

mark: *wants to facepalm both himself and you but can’t help but chuckle at how adorable you look*

“mARKEU why can’t you be as tall as the giraffes like johnny :-( then i can get a piggyback from you and be tall toooo”

“i’M NOT THAT SHORT” said mark as the tips of his ears turned red

“my gem, your dear maknae is already taller than you.”

“naw.”

“what.?”

“naw.”

“why do i like you, you dork.”

“hhehehehehe”

uall would be legit kids at the zoo

being so excited and literally jumping around everywhere to the point that even children around started staring at the both of you

but neither mark nor you were bothered by the stares anyway

because both of you were having so much fun with each other by your sides

you and mark would go busking on the streets or at the park sometimes too, just for the fun and enjoyment

it might have been a bit embarrassing for you at first since you weren’t used to performing in public

but mark reassured you that it would be a worthwhile and thrilling experience the first time uall busked

and it was

uall would have a large crowd around the both of you

mark with his guitar and you singing ( or playing any instruments that you know or any other talents )

everybody would be singing along to the well-known songs mark and you performed

and tbh, busking along with mark really gathered even more support from fans and the public for both of your relationship

idk why i got carried away by this idea but i think that you being in a relationship with mark would really bring out the best of you, and let you try many different things that you have never tried before

furthermore, i think busking with mark would be a really memorable experience haha

mark would L O V E your hugs and kisses

like ASDFGHJKL

he would be stunned whenever you abruptly attacked him with hugs and kisses and he may momentarily tense up

but afterward, he would melt completely into your arms

instead of smooches or something lmao, i think he would prefer pecks

short, quick pecks that would really cause you to feel like a monster was gnawing on your insides

the briefness of his kisses would tease you as you craved for more

but mark would usually turn around and walk away after he had pecked you all of a sudden

because he knew what his pecks did to you and he absolutely loved to tease you

mark would have constantly sent you on the edge of loving him even more

the first time he verbally said the 3 sacred words to you

would be on christmas day one year

both of your families would gather together for christmas dinner

and after dinner both of you would head to the backyard

lying down beside each other on the snow

silently enjoying each other’s comfortable accompaniment while making snow angels

christmas lights would decorate the backyard

and decorative lights from the neighbours’ houses would also make the whole of the surroundings a magical sight

you would turn your head to the side

only to catch mark already staring at you with an inexplicable expression on his face

his eyes twinkling under the christmas lights and a blissful smile tugging at the ends of his lips

and suddenly he would turn his body towards you and prop his head on his palm, never breaking eye contact with you

and he would really just go

“i swear to god, i love you so much.”

and it would have taken you by surprise

because you definitely weren’t expecting that

and you would feel your face getting really heated up despite the cold

you felt really shy hearing those words come out of mark’s mouth, but you wouldn’t be able to turn away from his intense but soft gaze

and you would just continue staring at him, not knowing what to do

you would expect mark to be really shy and flustered after saying ily to you, but he never once looked away or diverted his eyes

for you only saw sincerity in his eyes, only noticing then the passion of his love burning like a crackling fireplace in his beautiful hazel orbs

and this tight clenching of your heart would overwhelm you

and you couldn’t resist but say the 3 words back to him

and at that moment, once the words had left your lips

your heart would feel so elevated, so light

because you had finally said it

and jpg mark would finally come back to life

his eyes and eyebrows rising so high up as a bright, resounding laughter reverberated out from his lungs

his elbow would slip as his mind processed the reciprocated words

and his head would plop into the thick snow as he continued giggling like a fool

and then he would turn back to you, leaning much closer to you this time

and just giving you an actual kiss on the lips

not a short and quick peck anymore, but one that lasted for at least a few seconds

one that filled your heart with warmth to the brim, warmth that was so great it made you completely forget about the chilly weather

because both of you had finally said your “i love you”s, and tbh that was the best moment in your life for you

because under the magic of the christmas lights, under the magic of being madly in love, you had never felt more blissed to have met someone

that someone who was mark lee minhyung

the best person you could ever ask to love

I HOPE UALL LIKED THIS ♥︎

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magic-magpie · 6 years

Text

Forever Yours, Prompto

Sheesh, I haven’t been on in a while. I just haven’t had the motivation to write or anything, and so I kinda stopped going on Tumblr ‘cause then I’d feel bad for not writing. Not that I need to write, but I want to. But I’ve finally written something! I’ve gotten hella into FFXV, and Promptis has become my favourite ship of the series (I guess that was to be expected... the character dynamics are strikingly similar to my OTP of all time). I just love they way they interact and the brilliant, wholesome friendship they share! And yes, I do wish they’d be more than friends. Idk, I just feel like they’d be a really awesome couple. I’m not past Chapter Eight yet, though. But anyway, have this little Promptis fanfic I wrote! It’s an idea I’ve wanted to do for so long, but I’ve only just now been able to execute it. First time writing for FFXV, so my characterisation’s probably not perfect. Prompto’s incredibly similar to America from Hetalia though, and I write America frequently enough, so hopefully the characterisation works! Words - 1,883 Also, imagine the strikethrough stuff to be like actual scribble-outs.

Dear Noctis To Noctis Hey Noctis Hey Noct,

Okay, so, um, I’m writing this in the dead of the night outside of the tent using my torch ‘cause why not, eh? I mean, I don’t WANT to write out here (it’s cold and dark and SHIT I THINK A SPIDER CRAWLED ONTO MY ROCK FUCKING SHIT I JUST MOVED TO A TREE STUMP HOLY SHIT IF I WOKE ANY OF YOU GUYS UP I’M SORRY OKAY NOW WHERE WAS I) but writing out here where none of you know I’m writing is kinda safer, don’t ya think? (haha that transition tho) If I was writing some poetry or story or whatever I wouldn’t have to hide it so much, but it’s... not that. D’ya remember when we DID do that kinda stuff, back in high school? We’d make up lame-ass stories on the rooftop at lunchtime, trying to make weirder and weirder ones. I remember, my favourite was the one about the boy named Alaric Wrye who was actually a wolf in disguise and would sneak out every full moon to howl at the night but then his parents found out and so he was sent to the Wolf Institution to become a fully-fledged wolf and had to take a whole load of wolf tests and shit and then when he finally became a wolf he was crowned King of the Wolves and everyone had to bow down to him and –

I kinda just realised how WEIRD that story is.

I think your favourite was the one about the small ant who wanted to be a super-duper famous singer so he made a rock band and started playing in gardens and stuff but then he grew enough of a following to start doing world tours and basically this small ant band was like hella famous in the human world but because none of the humans could see him properly ‘cause he’s tiny he took drugs to make himself massive but the drugs kinda killed him so he died as a massive-ass ant.

Yeah, that’s pretty weird too.

...Why am I talking about stories again? I’m not even WRITING a story. I’m writing a letter. To you. You’re not ever going to see it, but it’s for you.

Man, this is weird.

Well, I guess you’re wondering why I’m writing this, huh? Well, you WOULD be, if I gave it to you. But I’m not going to. I guess Ignis would call this a waste of his paper, but it’s only one sheet!

Okay, maybe it’s a little more. But STILL.

...Am I EVER going to start on why I’m writing this? I SHOULD, but, like... even the thought of WRITING it makes me nervous. Writing it would be like... making it definite. Absolute. Certain. That kind of thing. Currently, I can still pretend it’s not happening. I can still pretend I’m not thinking these thoughts, I’m not feeling these feelings. The thought of putting it down, of writing it in stone (or, well, paper) makes my stomach go all weird. Y’know how people talk about getting butterflies in your stomach? Yeah, I’ve got a whole KALEIDOSCOPE (yup, the word for a group of butterflies actually is ‘kaleidoscope’! I found that out, uh... two minutes ago).

Having a kaleidoscope of butterflies inside your stomach is a WEIRD sensation, lemme tell ya. Like, imagine if EVERY time I hugged you the kaleidoscope started fluttering wildly and made you feel the things those protagonists of bad dating sims feel (although it’s impossible to be as cheesy and awful as that ‘Namco High’ dating sim. God, that was HILARIOUS. And terrible. But funny. I can’t believe we stayed up all night playing that shitty-ass game. We could’ve played King’s Knight or Mario Kart, but nope, we play shitty dating sims.).

...I just gave it away, didn’t I.

Anyway, as I guess you’ve guessed (or WOULD guess if you were actually gonna read this), I... love you like you think you’re hot want to date you want to kiss you want to just do stupid romantic stuff with you

Ah, fuck.

Okay, now I’m ACTUALLY going to say it. Just... gimme a minute.

Well, I just walked around the haven about twelve times and scrunched up the paper and threw it and then ran to get it back and almost got into a fight with some daemons but here we are.

I’m gonna say it. I’m gonna say it. I’m gonna say it.

Look, Noct. You’re my best friend, and the best person I know (don’t tell Ignis and Gladio). You’re funny (sometimes unintentionally), nice, fun to be with, and have really great hair. I guess it was only natural that I... started to like you.

Not like as in friend-like (although I still like you like a friend too), but like as in... like-like. As in, I want to go on stupid dates and randomly kiss you and cuddle when we have to share a bed and stroke your hair and give you flowers and wear each other’s clothes and touch our foreheads together and do those nose bump things and just do everything I’ve wanted to do for years now.

There. I said it.

...Why don’t I feel better? Why do I just feel WORSE? That wasn’t supposed to happen! I was supposed to confess everything into this letter and then I’d feel unburdened and I’d be able to finally let go of these goddamn feelings for you!

Oh. Right. It’s because I’ve liked you for years and my stupid heart’s become too attached to you.

I looked up stuff on how to get over your best friend, but it was all pretty unhelpful. They were all telling me to distance myself for a while! Um, no thanks. First of all, I don’t WANT to distance myself. Like I said, you’re the best person I know. Why would I want to spend any less time with my favourite person?! That would just be... boring. And second of all, I can’t distance myself, even if I wanted to. We share a TENT.

So... yeah. I like you. I like you too much, and I KNOW I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it! I’m really sorry, but I... just can’t.

I want to tell you upfront, I really do. But I don’t know whether you like me back. Sometimes I get these little feelings that you do. I dunno, sometimes I just catch you looking at me with this odd little smile on your face and then you’ll suddenly look away... or sometimes you’ll be a bit more touchy-feely than you need to be... and you tend to gravitate towards me whilst we’re walking... and you always seem to be closer to me than friends should be in a tent. But then, well, I’m probably misinterpreting all that because I so desperately want you to like me too. It’s confusing, isn’t it?

And then, well, if you don’t like me back, confessing to you would just be a dick move.

YOU wouldn’t class it as a dick move. Hell, you’d be pretty chill about it. But... I would. You’ve got so much on your shoulders right now. King Regis was murdered, Insomnia fell, Jared was killed, you’re going to get married, we’ve got to take back Insomnia, you’re pretty much the King... the list goes on. I know you, Noct. You’d feel guilty over rejecting me, and it’d weigh on your mind more than you care to admit.

Especially because, well... ‘cause you’re getting married.

I don’t know if you love Lady Luna, I don’t know if you love me, I don’t know if you love anyone at all. But I do know that you’re getting married to Lady Luna, not me. And if I ruined your special day with a stupid confession, I’d hate myself for it. It’s your special day where people are celebrating your marriage. That’s a day that’s supposed to make you happy, and it will, even if you’re not in love with Lady Luna (and if you are, then you’ll be on Cloud Nine!). She’s your friend, and you’ll be happy with her. I don’t want you to look at me on your wedding day with pity, I don’t want you to look at me and remember that I’m not enjoying the day as much as I should be.

So I’m not going to tell you how I feel. I’m just going to... just going to bottle it up and act like I always do!

Although, I get the feeling that my normal actions don’t cover it up well. I mean, I don’t think YOU’VE guessed (you’re kinda as emotionally-perceptive as a rock), but I feel like Ignis has, and maybe even Gladio. They haven’t said anything, but, like, I dunno, they just give me these... looks, sometimes. Like, I’ll just be leaning on you whilst playing King’s Knight and Ignis will just kind of... smile? It’s a small, tiny thing, but he still does it, I swear on the Six. And then I’m SURE that both of them just sorta... glance at me whenever we start talking about your wedding. I might be imagining things, but... I swear I’m not. So, like, I try to remove suspicion. Whaddaya think all that stuff with Cindy is? Yeah, she’s cool and nice and pretty hot and would probably be fun to date, but it wouldn’t be half as awesome as dating you would be. I just gush over her so that you’ll actually believe I’m head over heels for her instead of, well, you.

Come ON, we’d be so awesome together! We could go on dates to the arcade and order pizza at three in the morning and stay up watching shitty movies and I know we already do that but we could do it as boyfriends instead of best friends and I just

...Sorry. Haha, I’ve gotta work on keeping my fantasies in check, huh?

...I wish I was the one getting married to you.

Okay, right! I guess that’s, er, my confession done then! I’ve written my feelings in a letter addressed to you which you’re never ever going to read, and so I should stop wanting you so badly!

...I’m never going to stop, am I?

But... even if I’m never going to stop liking you, I’m still going to be your best friend. I’m still going to do stupid stuff with you and take funny pictures and loudly sing terrible songs at one in the morning. I’m never going to be the one who you kiss, but dammit, I’m going to be the greatest best friend ever! And on your wedding, I’ll be the best best man Eos has ever seen.

Because loving you means accepting that I’ll never be anything more than a best friend. But it also means finding happiness and enjoying the special bond we do have.

Well, that’s that. I was going to throw this away into the lake, but... I think I’ll keep it. Just, don’t wear my jacket, yeah? And ESPECIALLY don’t check my front pocket. I’m warning you, Noct!

Love From Yours sincerely Best wishes Forever yours,

Prompto ✌

P.S. Sorry about the wet patches. They’re... not rain.

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