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#i'm surprised to see so many people finding it resonating with them
druid-for-hire · 4 months
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[images ID: three images of a comic titled "one must imagine sisyphus happy" by druid-for-hire. it is a visual narrative beginning with someone with wrist pain (depicted by bright orange nerves) working at a drafting table. the reader is shown the same wrist as the person uses it for many everyday tasks such as carrying a grocery basket, pushing elevator buttons, typing, and doing dishes, until the pain dissolves all the panels into chaos. the person then performs several physical therapy exercises until the pain subsides. they sit back down at a desk with their laptop, sigh, and begin typing. a small spark of pain reappears. end id]
a fun little piece i made during the semester and submitted into our school comic anthology! (which you can buy at the Static Fish table at MoCCAFest in NYC ;] ). it's about artists and injury
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amourdivine · 2 months
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୨ ♡ ୧︰ TAROT 101: developing your intuition.
Hello lovelies, welcome to the first post of my Tarot 101 series! After receiving a few questions, I decided to incorporate a series of tips and tutorials for other self-taught readers. Today, I'm answering a follower's asks sent in my DM's. I'm tackling it separately, so it makes more sense to other people to read it. PS: Since this is a major work in progress and I'm not an all-knowing, almighty entity, please provide feedback, comments or concerns you might have! Thank you.
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How you develop your intuition and psychic abilities while reading tarot?
There is not one size fits all. While many readers recommend connecting to oneself, that's just the basis of it, really, but the main concept is to look at yourself, compassionately. Without the judgment of our everyday lives and the chaos of getting things right in the first attempt. You cannot be honest with yourself (or your intuition), if self-denial is the state you're living in. Or worse: if you view the truth as punishment.
It's always going to be a journey of discovery, and the first thing about spirituality is that you need to keep an open heart to the magic. Skepticism may get you far ahead in your career or financial matters, but when it comes to intuition, you can't grasp onto logic all the time.
With tarot, it's a little more practical: learn and lean into the cards. Notice I didn't say memorize, because many of us are busy enough with our everyday schedules. Just tap into them. Look at them. What does The Lovers remind you of? Maybe it takes you to the story about the Garden of Eden. Or- maybe it reminds you of your parents, their golden youth before marrying.
Again. No judgement. Let your stream of consciousness free. A huge part of reading tarot is allowing your imagination to run wild. Although the Devil card can symbolize obsession or addiction at first, take into account the spread, the topic. The context. What is your body telling you about the images you see?
We often underestimate the symbolism behind the cards. Without considering the traditional meanings,take one card out of your deck and just look at it. What colors are prominent? What do these colors represent in modern society? Do these people look happy? Are there any people at all? Where are they? Let your mind weave a story.
As a tarot reader, what you do on daily basis for intuition and tarot reading? What practices, book, or some kind of information which help you for tarot readings?
There are many things that have helped me, personally, but I'm going to mention some of the best practices I've seen, both for myself and for others.
› Stay creative. If it means drawing, writing, or painting, then stay creative. Find whatever little (or big) ways you can express your creativity. Remember you don't have to be "good". You can just be. Creativity exists in a lot of ways.
› Engage with other readers. Observe them. You can find a tarot reader that deeply resonates with you and watch how they read. Test if it works for you. Remember this is your practice, it's your sacred space, so you don't have to follow someone else's rules.
› Read, if and when you can. I personally recommend the book "History of Tarot" by Isabelle Nadolny, but not everyone can afford books or the time to read them. There are plenty of Youtube tutorials and free guidebooks on Biddy Tarot, for example. I also love Servant of The Fates' blog. They're both different and great, reliable sources.
› Start small. You can pull one card a day. Get a journal, write its meaning (or what it means to you) and record your progress. In a few months, when you return to it, you might find it surprising.
› Let yourself not know everything. No one does. Sometimes, you'll need to pause, go back to a guidebook and read the meaning all over again. Other times, you'll look at the spread and feel nothing. That's okay too. We're not meant to know all the answers.
Is meditation really important for reading tarot? Why? How much time do you spend daily for tarot readings and spiritual practices?
Since this is more of a personal matter, I'll be talking about myself. I don't meditate as often as most readers. Three times a month, maybe? I have a busy schedule and I can only meditate before bed, if I'm not too sleepy. Many people find that meditation makes them anxious or they're not able to fully let go. Other people find it that being in silence or taking a walk is more useful to them. Relaxation and meditation come in many, many forms. The important thing is to nurture your body and soul more than to adhere to rigid rules.
However, when it comes to saving time for readings or spiritual practices, I don't set rules for myself. It never works for me.
I let it flow. Sometimes, I go weeks on end without really consuming tarot content and I bond with my decks occasionally. And other times, I'm reading daily, journaling and trying to improve my skills. Since I have a billion other things to care for, I'm not always able to prioritize tarot as much as I'd like, but the important thing is to stay passionate, stay curious and get back to it. Better late than never.
When you're getting started, let yourself try. If you get it wrong, at least you'll be one step closer to getting it right.
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amourdivine. 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.
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funnier-as-a-system · 5 months
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sorry for the possibly dumb question
what the fuck is a system
Don't worry, anon, this isn't a dumb question at all! Systems aren't very well-known, so I'm happy to explain them to you. I'll start by explaining what a system is, then go more in-depth about systems in general.
So, you know how most people are one person? Or, rather, you know how when you meet someone, you assume they're the only person in their body? You don't really think "I wonder if this person shares their body and life with other beings." or "I wonder if this person I know is actually multiple people all sharing the same body.", but that's how it is for systems!
In simple terms, a system is any collective group of self-aware entities that share the same body (which is, I fully acknowledge, a complicated definition, but basically we have multiple selves whereas most people would have just one, and each self has their own identity). We may not specifically consider ourselves individual people (some systems see themselves as separated parts of one whole person, for instance), but it'll probably help you understand if you think of us as people that happen to share the same body. We each have our own sense of self, ideas, feelings, personalities, and on and on, just like anyone else.
Although this probably sounds very strange and surprising, it's likely that you've heard of systems before – just not with that language. Many people have heard of "multiple personalities" or "Multiple Personality Disorder", which is how systems used to be known. This sort of understanding of systems is especially common in horror movies, which tend to depict systems as serial killers or monsters. Of course, systems are no more likely to hurt others than anyone else is, but the stereotype and stigma persists, and can lead to harassment or even violence against systems.
However, you may have also come across more positive depictions. Body sharing is a common trope, for instance. People with Dissociative Identity Disorder, who often describe themselves as systems, are being more often portrayed as regular or kind people rather than serial killers, such as Uendo Toneido from Ace Attorney. I've often seen systems point to characters and series like Venom, Sense8, and Moon Knight – which depict systems or situations and characters that resonate with systems – to describe what their lives are like. We often find characters that are rather like systems that may not have been intended to be read as such and have a laugh about it; you might be able to spot the same, now that you know what you're looking for.
So, systems can be understood as when a single body is inhabited by more than one person, or being, or entity (whichever term you prefer). We may share the same body, but we each have our own selves, and often, our own names and identities, too.
That's the essence of it! I'll put more under the cut about systems in case you're curious.
For starters, if you're looking into systems, you'll probably run across the term "plurality", which is an overarching term that refers to all instances of someone sharing a body/brain; it is the state of being more-than-one, not just an individual collection of beings in a single body (the latter is what the word "system" specifically refers to). There's also the word "plural", which can be used either as a noun to mean the same thing as "system", or as an adjective to describe things that involve or exhibit plurality. For instance, I am plural. I very much enjoy talking about plurality and plural characters in fiction.
(As a comparison, you may think of video chats/group calls. Plurality, here, would be video chats in general. Meanwhile, a specific video chat – called a webinar – would be a system. And the people in a webinar would be the members of a system. Or, for another example, plurality would be education, a system would be a class, and the members of that system would be the students.)
Speaking of, beings who share a body – who are part of a system – are called many different terms. Two of the most common are "headmate" and "alter", although I also see "system member" a lot. I could say that my headmate was rather helpful today, or that my alter was fronting yesterday. Alter is more medical of a term, but it's more standard, especially in some other languages outside English.
But, wait, you might be wondering what fronting is! Well, since we all live in the same body, we've got to share control of it too, don't we? Fronting is what we call controlling the body, and switching is when we change who is in control. Some systems switch often, while others switch rarely, or only under certain circumstances, and some systems never switch at all. Switching may be involuntary, or it may be a voluntary skill a system has picked up. There's a lot of variety across systems.
Plurality is most often known in the context of DID, or Dissociative Identity Disorder, which often involves a lot of involuntary switches. P-DID, or Partial Dissociative Identity Disorder, meanwhile, involves very few switches, but these are likely to be involuntary, as well. There are other disorders that plurality may be a part or symptom of, but plurality can also exist as its own non-disordered state, so long as there's no attached or related issues causing problems for the system (ex. memory issues are another frequent problem in DID, and these memory issues come from the members of a system not remembering what the others did when those alters were fronting).
You may be wondering, how does this happen? How does someone become a system? There are many different ways. Sometimes, it's a part of someone's culture, religion, or spirituality. Sometimes, it's the brain's response to trauma, trying to protect itself. Sometimes, someone is simply born this way. Sometimes, someone may become a system out of the blue, or cause their own plurality somehow. Some systems have a multitude or mix of origins. Most studies on systems currently focus on systems that originate from trauma, as these systems most often have issues – including the trauma in question – that need to be looked into and addressed, but there are some budding studies into systems with other origins, such as the few current and ongoing studies on created systems (the aforementioned systems that cause their own plurality).
I'm simplifying some things here; identity such as this gets increasingly nuanced and personal as you learn more and more (for example, as said before, not all system members identify as individual persons, even if it can help understand them to think of them like individual persons that just happen to share a body). But I hope this helped you learn at least the basics about systems!
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avastrasposts · 5 months
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A Baker's Dozen - Two
Twelve Pedro boys, twelve stand alone short stories, all set in the same bakery.
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Hello!
I'm so overwhelmed and grateful for all the lovely comment you all left on the first part of A Baker's Dozen! I'm having so much fun exploring what it's like to write for different Pedro boys and finding their voices.
For those of you who are new, we've got twelve Pedro boys, twelve short stories, each set in the same bakery.
It's fluff and sweetness, lots of food and flirting. Series Master List
Taglist: @harriedandharassed @inept-the-magnificent @sheepdogchick3  @readingiskeepingmegoing @noisynightmarepoetry @survivingandenduring
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The glare is what catches your eye first, sunlight bounces off the shiny metal surface and hits your face through the window. You shield your eyes and glance at the door as it swings open, for a second you can’t see who steps through, you’re almost blinded, but as the door swings closed, he, or she, comes into focus. 
“Hi, welcome!” you say, trying to keep your voice steady as the imposing figure takes a few tentative steps into your bakery. 
“Heading for a con?” you ask, glancing up and down the impressive outfit. 
“A con?” 
The voice that comes through the helmet is deep and resonates through what almost sounds like a speaker. It’s definitely a man, if the sheer size of the body didn’t give it away. He’s tall, broad and made even broader by the metal pauldrons on his shoulders. A heavy belt hangs around his narrow waist as if to emphasize the sheer build of this hunk of metal that’s standing in the middle of your shop, looking somewhat lost despite the fact that you can't see his face under a solid looking metal helmet. 
“Yeah, like a convention, where people meet and dress as their favorite characters from tv-shows and stuff. Are you going to a con?” 
“No,” comes the short answer.
He looks around the bakery, the black T of his visor seemingly scanning the selection of bread and cakes you have for sale today. 
“Something smells…good,” he says, turning his helmet back onto you and you can’t help but smile. 
“Thanks, yeah, I had a pretty tasty selection today, but most of it’s already been sold,” you wave your hand over the mostly empty display cases, “Do you want to buy something?” 
“I…don’t think I have credit,” he hesitates but he takes another step into the shop, glancing down at the croissants stacked in a basket next to the till. 
“We accept cash too,” you reply, “you don’t need a credit card.” 
“No, I mean, I don’t have the right…currency for your world.” 
“Oh…” you frown, did he just say ‘your world’? 
You mentally shake your head, a misunderstanding, surely.
“I mean, I could let you sample something, then maybe you’ll come back with the right currency,” you say, smiling at the man. He sounds a bit confused and your customer service persona kicks in, unwilling to let someone leave without trying something that’ll get them to come back. 
“I don't know what you sell here,” he says, “I have never seen food like this before.” 
“Oh, really? What kind of baked goods do you have where you’re from?” you ask, surprised, you were sure pretty anyone would recognise at least a muffin and a cookie, both on display in your cases. 
The tall metal man comes closer, standing next to the counter and looking at the selection, “We have many baked things where I’m from, but I have never tried any of them.” 
“You’ve never had dessert?” you ask incredulously, “I have dessert every day, it’s a must!”. 
“I’m Mandalorian, food is only energy for our bodies, we don’t indulge in it,” he straightens up when he says it, his hands falling to his hips. He looks imposing, like a warrior all of a sudden, and his voice takes on a serious note. 
“Oh, wow, I didn’t know that was a thing, a mandalorian, huh” you raise your eyebrows, this guy doesn’t even seem like a cosplayer. Or he’s really in character. 
“Are you not allowed to eat dessert at all, or is it just like, not an everyday kinda thing?”  
“I can eat what I want but I’ve never had a need for dessert,” the voice coming through the helmet is a rich baritone, but holds a guarded edge, like the owner is trying to navigate something unfamiliar.
“I mean…technically there’s never a need for dessert, but I eat it everyday anyway. A good dessert is sometimes the only way to fix a bad day,” you give him your warmest smile, trying to make him feel a bit more at ease as you go back to straightening up your counter for the end of the day. 
“What’s this?” The man points to the croissants on the counter and you pick one up with the tongs, holding it out to him. 
“It’s a croissant, a French type of pastry. It’s not sweet, just has a metric ton of butter in it. It’s really flaky as you can see. Go on, try it.” 
“I don’t remove my helmet in front of other people,” he replies and your eyebrows shoot even higher up into your hairline. 
“What…but why?” The second the question comes out of your mouth you regret it, “Sorry, don’t answer that, it’s none of my business.” 
“You can ask, I don’t mind,” he says and you think you hear a slight smile from behind the helmet. “I’m Mandalorian, it’s my religion, and we don’t remove our helmets in front of others, it is the way.” 
“So you only eat alone?” you ask, curiosity overtaking your embarrassment and he nods. 
“Yes, we never share a meal with others.”  
“How sad, for me I mean,” you say, “One of the best parts about being a baker is seeing when others eat what I’ve made, I love seeing their reactions. If you try something, I won’t know what you think about it.” 
“I can just turn my back to you and lift my helmet a little,” he replies, and you can definitely hear the smile in his voice now. It changes the tone of his voice, as it comes through the helmet, makes it warmer, softer, and you smile back at him. 
“What do you want to try then?” you ask, “If you’ve never had dessert then I have to give you something special to try.”
“I don’t know,” he looks around the cakes and cookies on display and shakes his head, “I can read your signs but I don’t know what cinnamon or vanilla tastes like, or this one.” He points to a stack of millionaire’s shortbread, “I have never heard of peanuts.” 
“Well, in that case, just in case you're allergic to peanuts, let’s not start with them,” you grin, “the last thing I need is you passing out from an allergic shock in my shop. That armor looks a lot heavier than what I can lift.” 
The Mandalorian looks down at the plates that cover almost every part of his body, “It’s made from beskar, it’s a metal from my home world.” 
“It’s beautiful,” you say, and you mean it. The metal is polished and rich looking, a light gray color that catches the light as he moves, “It’s a very beautiful armor.” 
“Do you want to hold a piece?” he asks, looking over at you again, or at least you think he’s looking at you, it’s hard to tell with the helmet. 
“Is that allowed?” you ask, “I don’t want you to break any rules in your religion.” 
“There is no rule against this,” he says, reaching up and taking off one of the shoulder pauldrons. It has the image of a dangerous looking animal that you don’t recognise, and as he hands it over, you see him reverently brush his fingers over it. Carefully you take it from his gloved hands, the metal warm to the touch, and just as heavy as it looks. 
“It’s warm!” you say surprised and he nods. 
“It holds my body heat easily, good for cold climates.” 
You don’t know why, maybe because you can’t see even a sliver of skin on the man, but the thought of holding something that’s been warmed by his body heat, makes you slightly aroused. He could look like anything underneath all that metal and cloth, but his voice, his rich, low voice through the helmet, and his sheer imposing presence, makes you almost subconsciously attracted to him. 
He comes around the counter and stands close as you turn the pauldron over in your hands, tracing the outline of the animal, feeling the warmth of his body. 
“What is this animal?” you ask, looking up at your own reflection in his visor, “I’ve never seen one like it before.” 
“It’s a mudhorn, it’s the mark of my clan.” He traces his fingers along the animal too, brushing against yours as you marvel at the intricate work. 
“Thank you,” you say, handing the pauldron back as the touch of his fingers against yours becomes too much to handle, “Thank you for letting me hold it.” 
“You’re welcome,” he says, his voice lower now that he’s standing next to you. You watch as he clicks the pauldron into place on his shoulder again. 
How do you flirt with a man whose face you can’t even see? you wonder as he turns his visor back on you. It seems like he holds you in place for a few seconds before you slowly have to turn yourself away from him and the intensity of his sightless gaze. 
“So you’ve never had dessert and you don’t know what any of this tastes like?” you say, giving your own cakes a critical look. 
“No,” comes the voice from the man beside you, “Maybe you can choose for me?”
“Hmm…that’s a big ask. Your first dessert has to be something really special, but maybe not too overwhelming, and not too sweet either because if you’re not used to it, then sugar can be a bit too much. And it has to have the right combination of textures too so that you get the full experience and then maybe it should be-” you cut yourself off and look up at the man who’s shifted his weight, leaning against the counter and looking at you with his head cocked to the side. “Sorry, I’m rambling, I went into full baker mode.” 
“No, go on, I enjoy hearing you analyze my first dessert experience,” he says, encouraging you to go on by putting his hand on your arm. The little touch makes you tremble slightly and you pray he doesn’t notice through the soft looking leather of his gloves. 
“Really?” you ask, “Because I have an idea but I’d have to bake something for you, are you in a hurry?” 
“No, I’m waiting for someone and they won’t be here until tomorrow,” he says, dropping his hand from your arm, “What would you make me?” 
“Do you mind if I keep it a surprise? Only, I want you to have the best possible first dessert experience” 
“I usually don’t like surprises but I’ll make an exception for dessert. And for you,” there’s a small chuckle from behind the helmet and it makes you smile. 
“I’m honored,” you say, “come into my kitchen, I think I have what I need for what I was thinking of making.” 
You sidestep him, making him turn sideways as you brush past him, and you don’t miss the way his hand comes up to the small of your back as he walks just behind you into the kitchen. 
Your kitchen is big enough but the metal clad man takes up a lot of space as you direct him to stand by your workbench. He looks around it as you start going through your stores. 
“I’ve never been inside a professional kitchen before,” he says, “I can see that you’re used to a lot of metal.” 
You glance around at all the stainless steel counters and shelves that line the walls, stacked high with stainless steel pans, bowls and baking trays, and then the big shiny door that leads into your walk-in fridge before it hits you.
“Did you just make a joke about your armor?” you snort. But the man behind the helmet remains motionless and soundless as the giggle dies in your throat, afraid that you’ve somehow offended him. You look at him, your cheeks heating up, and then he chuckles loudly. 
“Yes.” 
“Oh fuck off, you’re terrible,” you exhale in relief, but smiling again, “I thought I’d insulted your religion or something.” 
“No, jokes are allowed,” he says and you hear the mirth in his voice clearly this time, behind the visor he must be grinning widely. 
“No more bad jokes, or you won’t get my dessert,” you give him a mock scolding look but he just tilts his head sideways. 
“There’s another joke in that sentence,” he says, still a smile in his voice, “but I don’t want to miss out on your dessert.” 
The innuendo is heavy and you have to bite back your grin, there’s no doubting his flirting tone, and instead focus on pulling lemons, sugar and butter from your stores. 
“If you say so,” you huff and he chuckles, coming to stand next to you while you start prepping. 
“So can you tell me what you’re doing at least?” he asks, picking up one of the lemons and turning over in his hand. 
“I’m making you a pie, I already have the dough ready for the crust so I’m just going to roll it out and blind bake it before I make the filling,” you say, bringing out the rolling pin and the slab of pie dough you had in the fridge. 
“I’ve never had pie,” he replies, “but I’ve seen them sold.” 
“What do you eat?” you ask and you see him shrug, shifting a bit. 
“Just…well, mostly freeze dried stuff that I can just add water to when I travel,” he says, “bone broth is nice too.” He shrugs again and you shake your head. 
“You need to live a little, try some different food, life’s too short to live on freeze dried camping food and bone broth. Doesn’t your wife cook for you?” The last thing slips out without you thinking, your mouth racing ahead of your mind and you bite your tongue, apologizing again. 
“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to pry, or assume that you’re married, or that a wife should cook. Or that it would be a wife, just ignore me, I’m alone too much in the bakery,” you ramble, trying to catch up with yourself. 
Beside you the Mandalorian shifts and stands with his hip leaning against the workbench so that he’s looking directly at you, he’s crossed his arms and cocked his head and it shouldn’t be that sexy, you can’t even see him, but it’s making your heart rate speed up as your cheeks go warm again. 
“No, no wife,” he says, his voice somehow even lower than before, “no one to cook for me, and I wouldn’t expect my wife to cook for me either,” he shifts his weight, putting one hand down on the workbench, the other on his hip, “But it would be a wife.”
You refuse to look at him, it won’t give you anything, just that stupid shiny helmet. But you can hear the smirk in his voice, so you just nod your head. 
“Good to know,” you press out, very much focused on rolling the dough to a perfect circle which isn’t strictly necessary. 
“And you?” his asks, his low baritone vibrating the air around you as he seems to step even closer. His chest plate isn’t touching you but if you turn your head, your breath will fog on it. “Anyone to cook for you at home?” 
“Uhm…no,” you stutter, “just me.” 
If this was a normal man you’d expect to turn your head now and look at him and he’d ask if he could kiss you, or he’d lean in closer and just do it. But the helmet is in the way, how the hell is he so flirty with that damn helmet? He does know how to kiss, doesn’t he? 
“I’m ju-just going to put this in the oven,” you say, trimming the edges of the pie crust, leaving the scraps of dough on the bench. 
“Ok,” he says, still with a smile in his voice, watching as you line the pie with a sheet and then baking beads, before sliding it into the oven. 
“What’s next, the filling?” he asks and you nod. 
“Yeah, I’m going to zest and squeeze these lemons,” you pick up the one he’s left on the bench and show him how you get the zest off into a bowl. 
“Have you had lemons before?” you ask and he nods. 
“Yes, I think so, or something similar. But it was very sour,” he bends forward and looks closely at the zest you’ve mixed with some sugar. “It smells good though, do you often use them in pies?” 
“Yeah, and they’re amazing in anything baked, as long as you have enough sugar.” 
“I trust your skills as a baker,” he says and you smile at him. 
“Thanks, I think you’ll really like this.”
He stays still a beat as you turn back to the lemons, “I already do,” he says, a whisper, just loud enough to escape the helmet. For a second you’re not sure he meant for you to hear it, and you let your hands continue squeezing the lemons before giving him a quick glance. It tells you nothing, the man might as well be a statue. 
You start separating the eggs, letting the egg whites slip through your fingers, holding onto the yolks, until all five are neatly laying on the bottom of your mixing bowl. The silence is stretching between you and the man, still standing still, leaning slightly on the edge of the workbench. You can feel his eyes on you behind the helmet, watching as you stir together the filling, lemon juice, zest, sugar, corn starch, it all comes together. 
“Can I ask you something?” You look up at him, slowly stirring the cubes of butter into the lemon mixture. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to though, it’s kinda personal.” 
“Ok,” he says, cocking his head to the left. 
“How…h-have…h-ow do you kiss if you can’t take the helmet off?” 
He doesn’t move, the blank front of the visor steadily trained on you. 
“Nevermind, it was a stupid question, don’t answer that,” you mumble, dropping your gaze back to the filling. 
“No, it’s not a stupid question,” he says, and you feel the soft leather of his gloved hand under your chin, tilting it up, back to him. “There are…loopholes…in the creed. I’ve kissed someone, when they couldn’t see my face. But it requires a lot of trust.”
You’re staring at your own reflection in the visor, trying to discern where his eyes are. You wonder if he’s looking at your eyes or your lips, and you wonder what his lips look like. 
What they would feel like. 
“Does that answer your question?” he asks, that rich, warm baritone, distorted by whatever lets him speak through the helmet, makes your heart flutter, your breath catches in your throat. 
“Y-yes…thank you,” you stutter, “yes.” 
You bet he’s smiling at you again, as he lets go of your chin and you look back down at the filling. 
“I’m going to fill the pie now, and then make the meringue that goes on top.” 
“Ok,” he says, “I don’t know what that is but I bet it will be irresistible.” 
It makes you smile, at the filling, as it pours, golden and thick, into the pie crust. It settles into a smooth layer, ready for the last step and you place the pie to the side and reach for the egg whites. 
“Can I ask you a favor?” you ask and he nods. 
“Of course, what is it?” 
“The ancient looking mixer, up there, can you reach it?” 
He steps behind you, over to the shelf and effortlessly lifts the heavy old Husqvarna machine, it looks almost weightless in his hands. Those hands, inside the soft gloves, are big, almost dwarfing the mixer and the thought crosses your mind, to have those hands on you, wrapped around your waist, or grabbing your thighs, lifting you up as effortlessly as the machine, placing you on the bench, pushing your legs apart and- 
He carefully puts it next to you, and moves to stand on your other side. But his hand gently brushes over your back, just a small touch, but it makes you wish it lasted longer, and wasn’t so gentle.
The mixer is loud as you start it, whipping the egg whites into stiff peaks in just a few minutes.
“The trick,” you say, detaching the bowl, “is to whip them until you can hold the bowl upside down over your head and the meringue stays put.” You hold out the bowl to him with a grin, “Do you trust me?” 
He chuckles behind the helmet and takes the bowl from your hand, “I guess I do, but you’re polishing the beskar if this falls on me.” 
He carefully tips the bowl, holding it over himself, and the meringue stays put, not a drop falls on him and you give him a wide grin. 
“I passed the test.” 
“You did. Pity, my armor could do with a clean,” he says, his voice serious, but you can hear the smirk in it  this time. 
“Cheeky,” you laugh, “clean your own armor, I’m making you pie.” 
You grab the bowl from him and start scoping out the thick meringue on top of the filling, creating swirls and peaks with your spoon.  “It just needs to set now,” you say, taking the pie, “Could you open the fridge door, please?” 
He takes a few long strides and works the handle, holding it open for you as you go inside and place the pie on a back shelf. 
“I have never seen so many cakes before,” he says, coming in behind you, looking at the shelves of cake bottoms that are defrosting in preparation for your weekend orders. 
The door behind you slips closed and the fridge is thrown into darkness. 
“Oh, I forgot to tell you that the door needs to be wedged open, the light broke in here and I haven’t gotten round to replacing it,” you say, fumbling towards the door with your hand on the shelves, “I’ll get it.” 
“Don’t worry, I’ve got night vision in my helmet,” he replies matter of factly, and you hear him walk to the door. 
“You have night vision in your helmet?” You’re not sure he’s joking or not but judging by how quickly he moves across the small space, he must be seeing something. 
“How does the handle work?” he asks as you hear the handle click and catch on something. 
“You just pull it against you and it should open,” you say, carefully walking towards the sound of his voice. 
“It’s not opening, it sounds as if the handle isn’t latching on correctly”. 
“What? No, the door has to open!” You say, panic creeping into your voice, “I can’t…try it again, it has to work!”
You bump into him and his arm comes out around your waist, “Careful, don’t hurt yourself,” he says, his voice suddenly very close to you, steady and soothing, and it calms you down a little. 
“Sorry, I’m- I’m not good with small places I can't get out of,” you mumble, holding onto his arm. 
“The handle isn’t working, but I promise you, I can very easily get us out of here, don’t be scared.” He must’ve let go of the handle because his other hand comes up to rest on your cheek, the gloved thumb caressing your face with smooth motions. “Don’t be scared, mesh’la,” he says, his voice soft. If you move you think you’ll bump your head against the metal of his helmet, so you close your eyes and focus on his hands. One on your back, the other on your cheek, you take a long steadying breath. 
“H-how can you get us out?” 
“I have tools for it, in my belt, don’t be scared, I’ll get us out in no time…but…” he trails off, a small hint of uncertainty suddenly in his tone. 
“I trust you,” he says, “and I want to kiss you.” 
“You’ll take your helmet off?” you ask and in response you hear a low chuckle from inside it. 
“Yes, it would be very difficult otherwise.” 
“You don’t know that, maybe I’m used to making out with metal,” you say, biting your lip, and you’re rewarded with laughter in the darkness. 
“Using my jokes against me, clever,” he smiles as his hands leave you. There’s a click, the soft hiss of air escaping, and you guess his helmet has come off. You feel him bend down, placing it on the ground next to him and standing up again. 
“Ca-can you take your gloves off too?” you ask.  “Yes,” comes his voice in the lightless room and it makes you inhale. Unfiltered it’s much richer, warmer, but somehow rougher, slipping around you, making you break out in goosebumps as you shiver, no voice has ever made you shiver before and now you want him to keep talking to you, to feel his voice in all your senses. It makes you lift your hands to find him in the darkness but he finds you first.  
The soft sound of leather hitting the floor is the next thing you hear before his warm fingertips brush across your shoulder, finding your neck and trailing up over your chin. 
“I’m as blind as you now,” he whispers, leaning closer, “tell me where your lips are.” 
“Here,” you whisper in reply, taking his hand and guiding it to your mouth. He traces his thumb over your bottom lip, then the top, and you feel his hot breath skim over your skin. 
His lips are soft, gentle, as he presses them against yours, a slight tickle of facial hair before he pulls away a fraction. 
“Touch me,” he mumbles, “please,” a pleading tone to his voice. 
“Where?” you ask, lifting your hands from your sides and searching for him, finding cold metal and a rough flight suit. 
“Everywhere, my face, my hair, please touch me.” 
He leans his face into your hand as you find his cheek, your other hand slipping around to the nape of his neck, the longer hair winding around your fingers. It’s messy and curly and so silky to the touch that you hum under your breath. 
“You're so soft,” you say and it feels like he shakes his head.  
“No, you are, can I kiss you again?” he whispers but you don’t reply, just find his lips with yours and he groans into your open mouth, your tongue coming out to taste his lips as he parts them, and you feel his tongue lick against yours. 
His kisses are slow, and you match his pace, moving in the same lazy way as him, his tongue exploring and tasting every part of yours. Soft hands have come up to hold you close to him, his fingers in your hair, not letting you move from where he needs you. And it feels like a need, his soft presses turning needy, a soft moan escaping you as he pulls you closer, your whole body pressed up against his hard metal exterior. The contrast makes you feel disembodied, your legs, stomach, chest resting against cool armor, your face, your hands touching, and being touched by warm skin, soft hair, his demanding tongue growing in confidence by the second as he groans under your touch. 
He suddenly takes hold of your waist, moving you without effort, pressing you against the door with his whole, tall frame. 
“Your kisses are…” he pants, “please, I don’t want to stop, I…I…can’t.” 
He’s mumbling between insistent kisses, his tongue dipping into your mouth, tasting, groaning as he needs more with every second that passes. And you would give it to him, you’re moaning into his mouth, pressing into him as eagerly as he’s pushing you up against the door. If he wants to fuck you on the floor of this fridge, you’d let him. His soft lips, rough hands, his heady groans, and when he finally gives in and grinds his hard cock into your hip, it makes you lose all sense of where you are, who you’re with. 
“Mesh’la,” he mutters, another kiss on your lips, “Tell me to stop, mesh’la, I can’t stop on my own.” His tongue slips between your lips again and you thread your fingers through his hair and hold him close, keeping him from pulling back again. 
“Don’t stop, keep kissing me,” you gasp, his thigh is between your legs, rubbing firm at your aching core. 
He growls, his hand coming down to grab hold of your thigh, lifting it up onto his hip, and the door flies open. With a shriek you feel yourself falling backwards, crashing towards the hard kitchen floor. But his arms catches you, you hear the loud clunk as his metal covered legs and arm hits the surface beneath you, the other arm secure around your waist.  “Don’t open your eyes,” he snaps, panic in his voice, and you squeeze your eyes shut, they almost flew open as he caught you.  “I won’t, they’re closed, they’re closed,” you pant, the air knocked out of you. 
“I’m going to put you down and then get my helmet, don’t move until I say so,” he says, still close, gently lowering you down to the floor. 
“Ok,” you nod, staying still. But you don’t hear him above you, and his arm is still at your side. When he does move his chest comes flat against your own, his nose brushing over your cheek, bumping into yours, and then his lips are on yours again. Soft, warm, pliant, his beard tickling you, open mouth and gentle tongue, tasting and exploring with a low hum in his chest. When he finally pulls away and pushes himself up, you feel the loss of his lips like an imprint on your own, your fingers come up and trace across them, touching where he just was. 
From the fridge you hear the click of his helmet being put in place and then his footsteps come back. 
“You can open your eyes again,” he says, “thank you for keeping them closed.” 
You blink your eyes open and look up at him, his face again hidden behind the visor, his expression unreadable. But his voice is soft and he holds out his hand to you, his gloves not on yet. You take it and he helps you to your feet, one arm around your waist as you find your balance again. Looking down at the hand holding yours, you trace your fingers along the thin white scars that crisscross the back of his tan skin. His hand is rugged, the pads of his fingertips rough and well used. It’s hard to imagine that these hands could touch you so softly in the dark. 
“I…I hope I didn’t ask too much,” he hesitates as you keep touching his hand, holding it between your own, “I never kissed anyone like that before.” 
“I liked it,” you mumble, looking up at his visor, his hand still between yours. “I’ve never kissed anyone like that before either. And I don’t even know what your name is.” 
“Din,” he says, his voice low, like he’s telling you something guarded, “My name is Din, but I don’t tell many people that.” 
“I won’t tell anyone,” you say and he nods, placing his hand on your cheek again.  “Thank you, mesh’la.” 
“I’ve never met anyone like you, Din,” you say, trying to find his eyes behind the black visor. 
“I don’t think there’s any of my kind on your world,” he says with a small chuckle and you frown.  “What do you mean, ‘your world’?” 
He shakes his head, “Don’t think about it, it doesn’t matter, I just want to try your dessert now, like you promised,” his hand slips down to yours and he takes it, tugging you back towards the fridge, “Is it done yet?” 
“Uuhm…yeah, I just need to torch the top a bit,” you say, confused, as he opens the fridge door again. 
“I’ll hold it open this time,” Din tilts his head down towards you as you pass him, his hand trailing over your hand as you let go of him. The pie jiggles slightly when you tap it, so you pick it up and carefully bring it to the workbench again. Din closes the fridge door behind you and follows you back. 
“I’ve never smelt anything like it,” he hums as you reach into your tools and pull out the small blow torch. 
“Just wait until you taste it,” you smile, turning on the gas and igniting the torch. Din’s hand flies up to grab at your arm as the flame comes out but stops as he realizes what you’re doing. 
“I have one of those too,” he chuckles, “But mine’s a bit bigger.” 
“If I’d known, I would’ve used yours,” you grin and he shakes his head. 
“It would’ve burnt down your kitchen, it's not really meant for this delicate work,” you can hear the smirk as he leans forward and looks on as you carefully caramelize the top of the meringue, painting the white swirls in toasty brown. 
“There, it’s done,” you say as you turn off the blow torch and put it aside, “you’re very first dessert, a lemon meringue pie.”
“I can’t wait to try it,” he replies as you take down two plates, spoons and your sharpest knife. 
“How do you want to eat it?” you ask, cutting a generous slice for him, bigger than you would serve to the customers. He looks at the pie for a few seconds and then cocks his head and looks at you.  “I trust you,” he says, the smile in his voice evident under the unreadable helmet, “we can sit back to back and you can at least hear my reaction.” 
“Are you sure? I don’t want you to do something you’re not comfortable with,” you hold out the plate to him and he lifts it up to eye level, looking closely at the bright yellow filling and white meringue on top. 
“I’m sure, I trust you. And I want you to be happy when you hear my reaction.” 
“I hope you like it then,” you laugh, “Or this is going to be very awkward.” 
“If it tastes only half as good as it smells, this will be the best thing I’ve ever eaten,” he takes your hand and pulls you down onto the floor, you begin to protest that you have chairs but he just shrugs and sits down, crossing his legs with his back against you. You sink down behind him, crossing your legs too.  “Lean against me, mesh’la,” he says, “and don’t turn around.” 
“I won’t, I promise,” you rush out as you hear a soft woosh of air from the helmet. 
“I know,” he replies, his voice unfiltered and rich again, a low baritone that seems to send a shiver down your spine. The spoon clinks on his plate and he seems to hesitate. 
“I just put my spoon in it?” he asks and it makes you smile. 
“Yes, just get some of everything, and tell me what you think.” 
You hear the rustle of his flight suit as he seems to move around a little, it’s almost as if he’s trying to figure out how to  tackle the slice on his plate. Eventually you hear the spoon scrap over the plate again as he cuts off a bite. 
You listen intently, wishing you could see his expression, as he silently tastes the pie.
“Maker…” he breathes out after a few seconds, the spoon clinking again against the plate and you hear him take another bite. 
“Maker….” his mouth full and the word is muffled, “this is…” the spoon scrapes over the plate and you hear him take one more mouthful. His head leans against yours as he tips it back, sighing deeply. 
“Maker…I’ve never tasted anything like this before,” he groans, “It’s fresh and rich and sweet, how have I never tasted something like this before?” 
“Because you’re a fool, obviously,” you laugh, taking a bite for yourself. You know this pie is good but Din’s reaction makes you feel giddy. Behind you, you hear him take another spoonful, humming as he savors the flavors. 
“I am a fool,” he says after swallowing down another bite, “this is like nothing else. I want to eat only this for the rest of my life.” 
“That might not be the healthiest choice,” you chuckle, “and wait until you try chocolate, that’s on a whole other level again.” 
“Thank you,” he says from behind you, his hand reaching back and finding your arm, “Thank you for making this, I’m grateful.” 
“No trouble, I like seeing how much you enjoy it, especially since you’ve never had dessert before, you strange man.” 
At that you hear him laugh, “I’m not that strange, just maybe on your world, mesh’la.” 
“What does that word mean?” you ask, “Mesh’la?” 
“I’ll tell you, if you give me more pie,” his voice is so cheeky it makes you laugh out loud.
“I’ve got you addicted it seems,” you reply and he chuckles behind you, “I’ll keep my eyes closed and you can take as much as you want, take the whole pie.” 
“I can’t do that,” he says as you feel him shift behind you, getting to his feet. 
“Of course you can, you should take it, I can make another.” 
“I would argue with you, but the pie is too good,” he sinks down behind you again and this time you hear his spoon scrape over the metal of the pie form. 
“Din?” you ask and he stiffens. 
“Yes?”
“Are you eating straight from the form?” 
“Is…Is that wrong?” 
“No,” you laugh, “just a very good review of my pie.” 
He chuckles again, relaxing against your back as he takes another mouthful. Together you sit in silence, eating the pie, cross legged on the floor of your kitchen. Yours is soon gone and you happily listen to your strange guest hum and moan as he all but seems to demolish the rest of the pie. Maybe you should tell him to pace himself, but he seems to be enjoying himself immensely. 
After a few more moments the pie form is placed on the floor and Din groans, “I’m so full, but I want to eat more.” 
“I should’ve told you to go slow,” you smile, “but just take whatever you didn’t finish with you.” 
“Hmm…I…I ate the whole thing,” he says sheepishly and you giggle. 
“You might feel a bit sick in a while, but don’t blame me. But I really love how much you loved it.” 
“I’ll come back for more pie whenever I can,” he says, finding your arm with his hand again, “Please keep your eyes closed.” 
“I’ll make sure to have it on the menu all the time then,” you smile, your eyes squeezed shut. 
Behind you, you feel him move and turn, his warm hand coming up to cup your face, a thumb sliding over your cheek. His lips are soft and gentle as he brushes them against yours, his tongue slipping out, your mouth opening. He tastes of sharp lemon, sugar and butter, and underneath, his own self. He lets himself linger for a few moments, his nose stroking over your cheek, before he pulls back, your eyes still firmly closed. The click of his helmet lets you know that he’s once more covered up and you open your eyes, slightly sad that he can’t let you see his face, you’d love to see what those soft lips look like. 
“I should go,” he says, a tinge of regret in his voice, “I have other things I need to see to before I leave.” He takes your hands and helps you stand, the remains of the pie forgotten on the floor as you follow him out to the front of the bakery. 
“This….was wizard…” he mumbles in a low voice, yet again standing by the door, “I’ve never…experienced something like this.” 
“Me either, Din,” you mumble, suddenly very sad that he’s leaving, “Promise that you’ll come back some day.” 
“I’ll try, but I can’t promise,” he says, his hand, gloved now, comes up to caress your cheek one last time. 
He turns and puts his hand on the handle and something hits you, “Wait, hang on, just wait there.” 
You rush back behind the counter and grab one of your bread bags and quickly put four croissants into it. 
“Here,” you say, holding it out to him as you get back to the door, “For the road, or whatever you’re doing.”
He takes it, cocking his head to look down at the bag before he looks up at you again, “You’re going to make my armor fit very tight.” “Hey, I didn’t tell you to eat the entire pie in one sitting,” you grin and from behind the helmet comes a low chuckle. 
“I still blame you for baking something far too irresistible.”
“Take care, Din, I hope I see you again sometime.” 
“Me too, mesh’la,” he says, giving you a nod and opening the front door. 
Part Three
If you want to try Din's Lemon Meringue Pie, here's the recipe I used!
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miracledarling · 1 year
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why every method works
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[ small rant + my experience in loa community ]
💙notes: this was supposed to be a very old post i started writing weeks ago but it never got published so i added more stuff into it later
disclaimer: when i talk about my own experience and perspective, i am not forcing any of my opinions onto you. find what works for you, literally the point of this post is to provide that reassurance
📖table of contents . . .
① it does work, duh ② rant about overconsumption ③ my personal experience ④ what i've learned ⑤ the bottom line
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i have explained basically similar things in other places that i am covering on this post so don't be too surprised
1 2 3 4 5
but i've already had this in my drafts for too long so i had to put this out there at some point . . .
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it DOES work, duh
as a beginner in loa, i would be drowned by my logical mind. even before i got into loa, i was listening to subliminals. and i would constantly be asking myself: "is this gonna work?" "am i doing this right?" if i paused a subliminal halfway through, i would get so anxious. asking myself "do i have to rewind the subliminal all over again?" then, after reading solar subs guide, i was introduced to loa and the concept of manifesting. but ofc i had trouble believing in subliminals in the very beginning and at that point i was just feeling that i was wasting my time. on all this "spirituality" but months later, after seeing small successes one after another, i realized the law may hold some truth after all. ofc i was still skeptical, and always questioning myself, but i've gotten quite a lot of manifestations it was a bit good to be true right?
as for the loa community, theres been debate in this community time and time again, trends come and go. if youve been on loatwt u know how toxic that affirm vs states debate got, and it's still coming back every week. sometimes people will push one method and put down another, or feel discouraged when the method that is trending isn't the one that resonates with them.
i've seen some limiting beliefs being spread around here and there but what i've learned is that there are NO rules when it comes to manifesting. when it comes to the law of assumption, the law of assumption is LITERALLY the law of ASSUMPTION. like literally. it's like not only is the world made of atoms, it's literally made of assumptions. everything is an assumption. EVERYTHING.
and one important thing i realized is there are absolutely NO RULES. NOTHING IS TRUE UNLESS YOU ASSUME IT IS.
only what you persistently assume will be true, will be facts.
i mean, sure i heard a lot of ppl say things like "_____ doesnt work "
sigh. that's just a personal belief? bc rlly, anything can work depending on ur assumption. from now on, whatever ur doing, it WORKS and it's WORKING (and can you stop telling urself that it didn't work or u fail, u CANNOT fail). no literally please stop searching for reasons you've failed. you're just persisting in the assumption that you've failed. the more you search for it, the more your outer reality is going to show you evidence that you're failing. right at your face.
what you could do is you can create the assumption that everything always works out for you. and no, u do not need to rewatch the youtube vid, reread that success story, reread the post, nope. it works, it's working. ur doing it right. believe it or not it works !! ofc it works. it does work, duh. u can't fail. the law is always working. and it's working in your favor.
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a rant about overconsumption
now some people may overthink everything. and i get it. i recommend just staying away from all the loa info you can find.
yes i know i've been reposting many posts but the reason i'm going to take a little break from doing that is for my own good and for everyone else's. because i feel that retrieving all these old posts will make you more prone to overconsumption(and take up some of my own time and energy) and it's not my job lol.
like most of us are constantly saying the same answer to all your asks and in our posts, only adding out own views and experiences. seriously, you don't need to read any more posts at this point. it's the same thing with personal opinions added to it. to be honest, it you're someone who is new or overthinks a lot, scrolling through tumblr may do more harm than good. you're just getting fed a ton of different opinions of different bloggers regarding the same topic-loa, and seeing disagreements cause confusion. i know that the states vs a&p discourse confused the shit out of me. i was overconsuming and overthinking without applying. big mistake. i'm happy i learned to create my own rules now.
there's something i realized: is there even a point for consuming loa content?
i mean it's the law of assumption. like literally assumptions that you persist in manifest. so why do you need to know more than that? as i said earlier, why do you need to look for a reason that you've failed. stop excusing that. you didn't fail. you didn't fail at all. you just chose to go back to the old story and you decided to accept that instead of accepting the new one. you declined the new story.
imagine if you attend a party where you needed to pick ONE dress to wear. you're currently wearing a pink one but you want to wear the blue one. well then wear the blue one. put the pink one away and put on the blue one. so simple right?
now back to what i was talking about. there is literally no need for you to look for more loa information at this point. there is zero reason to do that. because you know what the law is. just by the title it's the law of assumption, so literally just assume and persist in that assumption. that's it.
99.9% of blog posts are just repeating the same thing to you. but with their opinions added. i don't know how many times i'm going to have to say this but it's the truth.
keep this in mind: an assumption persisted in hardens into fact. now you see most posts always somewhere says something along the lines of:
"dwell/think from your desired state" "dwell in 4d/imagination" "think as if you have it already" "persist/stick to the new story" "don't waver/go back and forth, just stick to the new story" "affirm and persist until your mind is saturated with the new story" "repetition reprograms your mind, creating new assumption" "change your mindset to fit the new assumption" "just know and persist in the knowing" "be consistent and consistently thinking from the new story" "maintain a mental diet to stick to new story" "just decide and stick to it"
in the end, they all imply and result the same thing.
new state = new mindset = new story = 4d = assumption that you have it already
so persisting in any of these means you're persisting in the new assumption.
in the end, all of the methods you ever used for loa are just to get you to persist in the new assumption. and persisting in that causes it to harden into fact.
now, why do people ask questions, consume new information, use methods, etc?
well actually i think it's okay to do so, and makes sense especially if you're someone who is new to the law. the thing is, the law is just extremely simple. to the point where people just start to complicate it. people literally have to ask "how to persist" "how to accept" "how to fullfill" "how to intend" and that shows it's being complicated way too much. when law assumption is just assumptions become reality.
but it now that i look back, it actually makes sense why people would overthink something so simple, or create new methods, word things differently, and such.
if i were a beginner and i wanted to know how to manifest and someone tells me "oh, easy. just assume, just decide you have it" it probably wouldn't be too helpful. because now i would wonder how to decide. or more, i would wonder "so...is that it? that's all" i mean who would even think it's true at first sight. and especially as a beginner i would probably check the 3d right after and be unhappy because i "decided" but nothing changed. and doubt the law.
which is where methods come to play. if just assuming/accepting is too far to grasp, methods and challenges help people apply the law. since it's broken down step by step. like SATs for example, getting into a drowsy state, repeating a scene until feeling the wish fullfilled. that is easy to understand and follow.
but of course methods are never required. and for those in disbelief of the law, i always tell you to test the law for yourself, apply, and stop overconsuming/overthinking. because overconsuming really does more harm than good in my opinion. because all these loa content are talking about the same thing in general, but just with our personal experience and opinions added to it, it can really make people confused. remember the whole states vs affirming debate. so if someone has all these opinions being thrown at them, of course they will have no idea who to listen to or what to follow.
this is why it's so important to find what works for you. literally start applying as much as you can. it's like an experiment. find your own way of manifesting that you personally enjoy/like. if you are ever going to consume info, only take what resonates and leave what doesn't. manifesting is not one size fits all. if someone has limiting beliefs, stop taking it in like a sponge. girl you are a human not a sponge.
now that you know that everything surrounding loa basically implies the same thing, i hope you release some of that stress and anxiousness when consuming loa content. or simply consume less content.
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my personal experience
since i've been such a skeptic in the past, i would constantly be switching methods, hopping from this to that. when i watch one youtube and then watch another with different opinions, i would feel like this is such bs.
so let me give an example. i've seen people say that robotic affirming "doesnt work" when i've manifested most, if not almost all of my desires purely through robotically looping affirmations in my head. because I ASSUME it works, duh. if u assume it doesn't work, it won't. easy as that. like you can assume it takes 1 repetition, 10 repetitions, 10k repetitions. it depends on ur ASSUMPTIONS. its the law of assumption. i've also seen people say that you need to go through a "transition period" which is a huge myth. i've never experienced one in my life.
see? literally it boils down to ur assumptions. even for me, i had to find my own way out of here, rather than consuming other people's info.
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what i've learned
okay i was hesitant to write this part because people might take it the wrong way, and defeats the whole purpose of this post. this isn't directed towards anyone lol. rather, see this as a reminder that you do what you want, not what anyone else says. gotta recognize yourself as the creator.
there's literally no wrong way. what works for me may not work for you, and vice versa. but this is only what I learned so feel free to skip this part if you're not interested in hearing my experiences
now, this is what i discovered about myself, just to show that everyone has their own way of manifesting and no wrong or right
i'll admit i am more of an affirming girly and i probably always will be. i'm going to be an affirm + persist girly for life but it's not like it will be the only way to manifest. i respect whatever you do and i love the fact manifesting is different for everyone. in no way will i purposefully force my own opinions onto anyone because whether you like states or affirming or whatever it's completely fine.
and literally i still apply states as well. although i don't really ever considered myself a "state girly," i've known about states for a long time before it became popularized. i remember learning about states and to me, it was the whole package. it did help me in the sense that i could just identify with what i wanted easily. so i will always apply it when i manifest alongside affirming. in other words, i actually apply both.
but on contrary to what works for others, affirming was an easy and straightforward way to get what i want. rewiring the brain through and such made more sense to me especially as a logical person who was skeptical since day one. and whats more is that the reason i found out about loa is through subliminals and i learned more about loa through youtubers, such as sammy ingram. so i was used to affirming the whole time. and it worked for me. however, you do not have to "follow" this if it does not resonate with you
although i understand states better now, and i do believe they are what manifests i still always use affirming and persisting as my main way to manifest since it's always worked for me.
however, if anyone ever ask me how to manifest something, i would always try to tell you to do what works for you. and always do what you resonates with and don't let others opinions guide you. you don't have to repeatedly affirm if you don't want. if you have better way, thats alright, apply it. most important is applying and persist in it rather than overconsumption.
the reason i always share so many posts with you is to help you gain some insight. like i've reblogged tons of posts on my sideblog and even organized them. i've found some old ones that have helped me. but please don't aggressively read and reread all of them. like honey that's overconsumption. no need to do that. skim through one of them and then delete the app. and start applying. and you will be surprised how fast it manifested.
so the void, states, self concept, whatever the trend was...all those things didn't resonate with me as much. heck i didn't even know what was the void until early january which meant 8 months after i already started to manifest for myself
but this just shows that no matter what the hype is, you should stick to what works for you. stop letting others dictate you. just test the law and trust yourself. do it your way.
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the bottom line
i don't care how you like to manifest. i seriously don't and in fact, after you read this post, i'd like you get off your phone and test the law to find whats works for you. it doesn't matter works for me. it doesn't matter what other blogger say, it doesn't matter. all that matters is what works for you.
MANIFESTING IS NOT ONE SIZE FITS ALL(i remember sammy ingram even said this in one of her videos lmao) like i don't care if u do affirming, states, or void. it doesnt matter at all. never mattered and never will. just do what u like, darling.
people succeeded with states. people succeeded with affirming. you know what they all had in common? they applied the law.
i have my rules and my beliefs. other bloggers have their rules and their beliefs. many of us have our own limiting beliefs. its all depending on out assumptions. nobody makes ur rules. only you.
yes, even neville, who has very valuable teachings, still does has his own beliefs. like i don't resonate with his ideas of "appointed hour" or "bridge of incidents" but some people do.
and remember when people used to push the "time lag" or the "transition period " well guess what, those are ASSUMPTIONS. its all assumptions.
stop letting people tell you what works and what doesnt. you decide.
in the end, it doesn't matter if u do states, affirming, whatever. it depends on ur assumptions.
stop limiting urself, and do what works for u 💓
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jamimix · 2 years
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Ain't this just a Dream? (Part 1)
SAGAU x Creator! Reader
Somewhere in the vast ocean, Beidou and her crew stumbled upon an island, away from any civilization, infested with varieties of monsters. Normally, she wouldn't dare risk her crew's life by venturing into an obvious death hole, but something within her, and everyone else, whispers to do so. Their driving point to continuing was the promise they made to their God to fetch them the greatest treasure that they are able to find. Surely with so many mobs concentrated in one place, it meant good loot, right?
After some discussion, a few chosen, including Beidou herself, are tasked to go in, while the others are to stay put and be ready in case they need backup. Because they know, that the moment they step foot in this island, they’re already signing off a contract with death.
But much to their surprise, as one of her people accidentally caught a hoard of rifthound’s attention, it didn’t attack. It all just stared at them wary and suspicious before going back to what it was doing.
Kazuha couldn’t help but be astounded as one of the rifthound pups went barrelling to his legs, looking up at him and then pushing its head his bandaged arm, seemingly asking for some pets, to which he did.
“Well, this is a-uhh surprising turn of events. It seems for once our God has blessed us on our journey.” Beidou chuckled out dryly, while everyone else silently agreed.  “It seems like whatever's here is making them docile. Still, careful. I don’t want anyone dying in my watch.”
Continuing on, the group went deeper, still very wary at the amount of mobs that seems to be growing and with some following them as they went closer and closer to the center of the island. As much as they want to turn back, they’re already in too deep to just give up.
“Captain, there’s someone over there!” It was then that they found you. A gasp resonating from her crew as they saw your appearance. How you look too much like their God. The God that is currently staying in the grandest temple of all of Teyvat, built in Liyue. Of course, suspicion and doubt started to spread because of this.
When some of her men claimed that you may be an imposter, showing signs of hostility towards you, every single monster in the area gave it back, scaring them enough to back down. It was apparent that you're the reason that they acted so... nice.
‌"Everyone, go back to the ship. Kazuha and I will deal with this." Beidou's crew nodded hesitantly before backing away to safety. The monsters around them finally went back to being normal once those who showed hostility are gone. Glancing at Kazuha, Beidou found him staring back, a serious and contemplative look in his face.
"We were all fooled." Beidou lets out a laugh at his words, feeling tired and defeated. How many men has she lost for following someone she thought was her God? The friendships she lost even when she only once tried to reason with them. And to now know it was a fake? How cruel... "That we are, pipsqueak."
Both of them let their gaze go towards your sleeping form, one that was finally showing signs of waking up, not at all surprised as they feel a strong pull from you as they see you open your eyes.
"Everything will be in chaos once we get back. Fun."
(A/n) I have no idea what I'm doing. I should be doing my projects but here I am ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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My One-Year Anniversary
One year ago today, I wrote my very first piece of House of the Dragon fanfiction.
My journey in fanfiction has been a long one. I started reading fan works all the way back in 2009 at the age of 12. I even remember the site: Harry Potter Fanfiction Archive. Wow. Wild! Of course, I naturally gravitated toward Dramione works—because that’s what you did, right? Since then, my tastes have diversified; evolved, even. Thank god.
Until I hopped onto Tumblr and started writing, I wasn’t an active member of any fan community. I was a passive lurker, hiding my enjoyment of fan works from everyone and everything. One of my favourite fandoms to read for was Game of Thrones; I particularly enjoyed the Jonsa works and any work where Daenerys claimed the Iron Throne (#JusticeForDany!). I will say that, as much as I enjoyed it, there were no characters who truly ignited my interest.
Then, House of the Dragon hit. Matt Smith’s portrayal of Daemon is just… electric. I suppose my very first thank-you is to him for bringing the character to our screens. Holy shit. Toxic, passionate, magnetic… everything I want in a fictional man! Daemon Targaryen definitely awoke something in me. I spent about a month trawling the Tumblr and AO3 feeds for Daemon x OC/ Reader works, seeking to satisfy my thirst. Daemyra is such a charismatic pairing in canon, but I could never really see myself in Rhaenyra’s shoes; she’s so forward in a way I’m not. So many of the works at that time were centred on badass powerful OCs, and I just… couldn’t relate. Thus,I officially opened my AO3 account and started a side-blog on Tumblr, posting my first work.
It was a smut piece between Daemon and a Reader-insert niece, and one of my first genuine attempts at writing smut - what is now today the second chapter of dōnus riñus (sweet girl) - and was surprised to receive positive feedback from it, given the um, dodgy themes. It spurred me to go back and write a chapter leading up to it, and then write another three chapters post-chapter 2. Then, people wanted to know how Reader and Daemon got together; I wrote gevivys (beauty) from his perspective in an absolute flurry of insanity, pushing out like a chapter a day. It all blew up - I never expected it to, and it is still incredibly surprising to me that people are wanting to read a protracted series about the shit I make these characters do! From there, ilībītsos (little slut) was underway, which was such a fun exercise in dirtybadwrong that I thoroughly enjoyed! Pretty much straight away, I continued on with ñuhus prumȳs (my heart), which I might say is my favourite instalment of the bunch due to the sheer amount of research I put into it. I'm particularly proud of that one, I must say!
Of course, this makes it sound quick. It wasn't - I have quite a busy personal life with my work, so I've not been the quickest at updating. I'm eternally fucking grateful to have an audience that completely doesn't care how often I update, so long as I'm proud of what I'm putting out at the end; I know how rare that is, and I'm absolutely boggled by you all. My squishies. I love you!
Reader has become Babey now - she has her own, like, following? IDK. It's insane to me. She doesn't even have a name, and yet there are so many people who have reached out to me to thirst over her or to talk about her or to share what she means to them. A lot of people have really resonated with the way she struggles with powerlessness and how, in some ways, she's learned to find strength for herself in a world that gives her so little opportunity to do so. I'm so incredibly glad she is a character that people can relate to. She's like my baby, my first genuine creation, and it is a privilege and honour to get to talk about her on here. I still cannot believe there are people out there willing to make art or edits or just send in asks about her. It's completely wild!
I have endless gratitude for so many people throughout the creation of this series, but we must all begin (and end) somewhere. I’d like to start by thanking my first ‘regular’, Wilma, for her enthusiasm and engagement with me as I first started on this journey. She definitely encouraged me to keep on writing. It was thrilling to wake up to another comment or ask from her about the series! If not for Wilma, I don’t think the series would’ve gotten off the ground as it has.
Thank you to my very first friend in fandom. I’ve only ever known this person as ‘Lemon’—they reached out to me when I was well and truly established during the writing of ilībītsos (little slut), helping me to conceptualise the idea for the third chapter of that instalment. They then jumped aboard as a writer, and so much of my earlier drive to write was inspired by them. If not for their messages and their companionship, I wouldn’t have begun to build the community I have now. They are still one of my fandom besties, and I love them dearly.
There are several important people I’d like to thank for being absolute superstars, and whose passion for fandom has impacted mine so greatly. Aubrey, Pancake, AQ—I’ve adored each and every comment you’ve left me, and it’s been such an incredible experience to get to know you all as people. Mage, Hannah—y’all are amazing writers and amazing human beings, and I’m so grateful to have gotten to know you. Bel, Fae, Mars, Mel, Rach—you’re groovy, and hanging out with you in Discord is the bomb-dot-com. If I'm leaving people out, my bad!
I would be remiss, of course, if I didn’t mention one particular person. We connected through a mutual friend (at the time), and eventually bonded over our love of being incredibly nasty, feral and disgusting over our love of these Targ boys. Pretty sure we speak at least every single day, and I can’t say how many times I’ve relied on her for input on a chapter or a specific plot point I’m planning. Her approval means everything to me, and so I can’t possibly go without crediting her as a major influence on this story. Ange—Angela—thank you. You’ve become one of my best friends, fandom and IRL. I absolutely love you to bits.
And, lastly, I want to thank everyone who has read my works along the way. It is still insane to me that there are people who think my writing is interesting enough to keep reading, let alone offer the outpouring of support I’ve received. It is one of the greatest parts of my day to be able to connect with others over a universe I’ve crafted, and the fact that people genuinely want to know these things just stuns me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Your encouragement means everything to me.
So, it's been one year. I'm still going, ahahaha! Here's to (hopefully) more years to come! I love you guys!
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final thoughts on the fox fella + new smol cat boi
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What I find the most fascinating about Fellow isn't the character himself but rather the fandom reaction to just seeing his design. It was a tsunami of thirst unlike anything I had ever witnessed before. People were switching up oshis entirely, those who had never made a self-insert or yume before were suddenly making ones specifically to be shipped with Fellow, it was WILD. He's a homewrecker/j I support any and all Fellowives out there👍
That being said, I'm surprised that I feel so... lukewarm about him overall????? I'm usually all gung-ho for the smiling scammer types but for some reason Fellow just doesn't resonate with me. I'll admit that he's very good-looking (I love the colors of his suit, the cravat, the colorful patched up pants, and especially the silly little half capelet thing hanging off of him). His expressions are also very fun, with some favorites being his super smug smirk and the knowing, slightly-off kilter smile. However, there's just something about Fellow's personality that doesn't sit with me quite right. I know it's not the "he's a Red Flag!! RUN AWAY NOW!!!" thing either, because I love Love LOVE red flags in fictional characters 😭
Fellow is good at charming people off the cuff and using deceit to compensate for his low magical reserves, which in of itself is intriguing. It’s also admirable that he wants to start his own school for non-mages and low-magic mages to mingle, He’s an adult that still keeps the spirit of childlike wonder alive, and that makes him fun to follow. Those are the traits of his I like.
But I get the vibes that Fellow isn't as clever or as impressive as he likes to think he is...? He's full of himself but can't exactly back up his words with action. That's not meant to be a diss at his magical prowess, he's lacking in other areas as well. Like, he's a fully grown man picking fights with kids because of a personal vendetta... and he’s steering the kids home while the island is sinking and relying on them to rescue them in case anything goes wrong?? That’s just irresponsible. Not to mention he doesn’t seem to plan ahead?? How does he not know he’s kidnapping many famous and/or powerful people with families might come after his ass if they go missing?
I think that it doesn't help that the "pathetic" vibes were being conveyed in a lot of fan art well before the twist; it only adds to his "patheticness" and it gets to a point where it's too much for me and then is no longer appealing. I can get on board with him and gloating and wanting to crush kids’ dreams because same/j but not when he’s panting and wheezing and desperately tackling them for their tickets to tear up. He doesn’t feel like a genuine threat without the support of his backers. I would still say I like the character and will happily rag on him, but I wouldn't bark for him or anything (though I will grant him points for coming close to winning the cage makes it better/j).
What I appreciate about Fellow's character is that it shows us a darker side to Twisted Wonderland. I don't necessarily think his initial motives are that deep (he's after fat stacks), but I think the sentiment behind the motives are. It pulls back the curtain and reveals an ugly truth about his magical world and the roles that money and privilege play in it. We aren't exposed to many instances of this, but they are, in fact, there (like when Yuu was insulted by Riddle in book 1). It's finally getting attention front and center now—I just wish they had gone deeper with it.
What's currently got me invested in following Fellow is his relationship with Gidel. I love that they're a "found family" (they're "sworn brothers") and that Fellow seems to look after Gidel... Telling the NRC boys not to put stupid ideas in Gidel's head, walking off with Gidel at the end, recounting the times they scammed together, putting his arm out in battle to keep Gidel behind him... (or maybe I'm just delusional and want to believe the fan art LOL). I'm such a sucker for the trope of the protective big brother 💀 Unfortunately, we don't get a ton of canon moments in the event... Like damn, not even details on how they first met or how they found this job or why specifically Fellow cares for Gidel??? I don’t like that for all that we’re told about how hard the duo’s past was, we didn’t get to hear a lot of explicit detail about it (especially when it is so inherently important to their conflict with the NRC crew and their turn at the very end). I just gotta pray their eventual card next Halloween will give more insight into this.
He’s a character I like to think about mainly because his background as a failed mage student gives me a lot to chew on in terms of questioning the world’s lore and how their society is structured. Fellow himself is good for a few laughs, but it isn’t long before my mind strays, if that makes sense. I’m not chomping at the bit, but I don’t exactly detest the guy??? I guess you would call it ambivalence; I’m only fixated on certain aspects of him (the looks, the lore he provides, and the onii-sama potential).
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I don't really have much to comment on for Gidel, but I have to say that I like having mute representation and more magicless characters in the cast at large. His outfit is also very fun; I like how it incorporates colors you don't normally see slapped together (that shade of yellow and purple) while still looking cohesive. I keep looking at Gidel's design and seeing a mix of Cheka and Ruggie though (because of the fluffy hair, eye shape, and stature). He very much reminds me of a smol doggo I'd bump into on a walk home and spend ten minutes standing there and considering adopting it.
As I said in my thoughts on Fellow, I think Gidel is at his best when he's in his little brother-big brother dynamic with Fellow. He's just a little guy trying his best while Fellow's trying to lead them. I think that's something the whole fandom can agree on, since I see sooo many people shading Fellow for his actions but the same people squealing and patting Gidel on the head and claiming he has done nothing wrong (despite being complicit in, and actively helping with, the trafficking operation). I guess it's because Gidel is still a child and may not fully understand the implications of it???
It's very sweet and genuine that Gidel demonstrates an interest in going to school and learning—but Fellow, who has been disappointed by the world of magic academia, warns Gidel against it. In his own way, he's keeping Gidel from what he sees as an uppity, shallow realm that will crush his hopes and dreams. That's Fellow's version of "protecting" him. It's a way of telling us about their relationship without outright stating how Fellow feels about Gidel. In return, Gidel also supports him and whacks him a good one when Fellow’s down in the dumps.
I'm sad that we didn't get to see more of their dynamic in the event (like we only see them having a meaningful interaction at the very end), but maybe that's just because the fandom works have set my expectations high. Unfortunately, all those sweet moments of Fellow and Gidel bonding are seemingly confined to just fanart and fanfiction, since very little is mentioned or even implied in the event itself. I'm hoping that (assuming they get a card together next year) we get to see more glimpses of their daily life in the associated vignettes.
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the-lancasters · 7 months
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Behind the Scenes of "Margaret" the Netflix show
Chapter Three coming soon!
Previous| Beginning  | Next
Transcript and a little surprise extra under the cut!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Interviewer - How do you feel, coming into season two after such a successful first season of the show?
Felicity - I'm so excited to be back playing Princess Margaret!
The response to the first season was amazing, so many people resonated with the romance of Margaret’s relationship with Major Hamilton.
I think we had forgotten how young she was when it all happened and that getting swept up in young love was totally understandable.
Playing their breakup was so hard - I was rooting for them!
Interviewer - What was it like playing across from Nate Bishop who played Steve?
Felicity - Oh he was a dream. There is little wonder why women all over the world fell in love with him - and he was the perfect Steve!
Interviewer - At the time Margaret and Steve's relationship was all played off as a friendship to the press
Felicity - Yes! She had so much pressure coming from her family that left her with little choice in the matter.
And then she was forced to hide the break up and her feelings over the whole situation. They very much had a policy of pretending everything was perfect all the time, and that is where we pick up in season two.
Interviewer - Would you say this season is different to the first?
Felicity - Yes, totally different! When we see Margaret again post- Major Hamilton we are seeing the consequences of that decision play out. I mean, she's had a real wake up call. The Margaret we know today started in that period of her life. I just hope that I can do that very emotional time justice.
Interviewer – Now the big question on everyone's lips is will we ever see Nate playing Steve again?
Felicity - We don’t know if Steve and Margaret ever saw each other again after their break up - but there's always creative licence!
 I would love to work with Nate again.*laughs* but I have no idea what the creators have planned you will just have to tune in and find out!
--
Margaret – Huh. Not half bad really.
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hanitarot · 2 years
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Your vibe
Who are you?
Pac #5
hello everyone. Choose a picture that resonates with you. If you feel that the description does not suit you, please choose another one. Sorry for my bad english-
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Pile 1
Hi group 1, I already really like you. I see you as those who are very smart. You can look at the situation from the outside and think sensibly. You have a lively mind and you always succeed in everything. You are one of those who constantly take on a lot of things as actively and energetically as possible, you have great taste, you can also get involved in art. You are open and talkative. Also, many people think you are hot. You have a very attractive beauty, you can have delicate or delicate features. Your body is also very sexy, as if it produces pheromones for others. Be careful because many people envy you.
I think you are one of entp, estj, entj, isfp, istj, intp
enneagrams: 8, 6, 1, 3, 4
aura: red, orange, blue, purple
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Pile 2
hello my lovely guys. Today I have warm weather, just like you. Your aura is very calming, you are warm and cheerful. You are like a warm but strong wind. You are a bit like Group 1. You are extremely energetic, do fun things, are not afraid to do stupid things. But I see that you don't let anyone help you. You are always ready to help everyone, but you yourself do not accept help. You love companies. You are very sensual and emotional, you express everything freely and openly. You are someone who is proactive and always has a fire in his eyes.
You pretty much remind me of esfp, estp, enfp and enfj
enneagram: 2, 7, 1
aura: yellow, light blue, pink
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Pile 3
Heelllooo. Again we have quite an active group. You are positive and love to enjoy life. But you differ from groups 1 and 2 in that you are more spiritual and dreamy. You are sooo creative, so I'm not surprised you can live in your head. You may have hobbies such as drawing, reading, also tarot or astrology. You like to see the world differently than it really is, which can make you have rose-colored glasses. You remind me a little of fairies, you might be into the idea of ​​herbs or similar aesthetics. You are not too social, you have enough of those who are nearby, you do not need an active social life. I find it wonderful. Most likely you have a dream or a goal, I wish you good luck and faith in yourself, because it will come true.
You remind me of isfj, infj, isfp, istp and infp. enneagrams 4, 3, 6, 9
aura: green, light yellow, purple
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Pile 4
Hi, I see something between group 3 and 1. You are definitely those who are ready to give a lot for their ideals and opinions. But I don't think it's bad. You are someone who is willing to sacrifice yourself for the sake of others or your goals. You give yourself completely to every task. You seem very strong to me. You are also very gentle and caring. To be honest, you remind me a bit of a mother or a woman to follow, no matter what gender you are. In fact, it seems to me that many people see you differently than you really are. No one can describe what you have inside, and you probably don’t understand yourself? You may resent people or your life because you put in a lot of effort, but things don't go the way you'd like them to. Let it go. Be yourself. Is this the only one of all the groups that is difficult for me to describe, because there are those who cannot understand themselves? My cards say that after you let go of everything and trust the universe, all answers will come to you. It may be difficult for you at times to describe your feelings, thoughts, what you want and desire. I am on your side, and you can rely on me and your loved ones
You remind me of Infj, intj, isfj, isfp, istp, esfj, enfj
enneagram 1, 8, 2, 5
aura: purple, blue, pale red
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sorry that the pile's are short. Many people read them, so I have described briefly
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Any thoughts you’d like to share on the other origins characters? Anything you like about them :)
Again, haven't played the game so these are my general thoughts based on a few romance compilations, YouTube Shorts, and memes. If anybody would like to rectify this, please Venmo me $500 so I can buy a PS5.
Shadowheart
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Admittedly don't know that much about her other than the emos love her and she follows a goddess of loss. Looks like her arc is all about questioning institutions and her god, which I think is very sexy of her. If anybody has a quest line compilation video to recommend so I can see her whole story, please send it my way.
Lae'zel
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The other origin character I admittedly don't know that much about. Still love an arc about questioning the system she was raised in and her god. Again, very sexy of her. Fish out of water stories are some of my favorites. Pair that with a hardened character learning to enjoy the gentler things in the world, and you've got yourself a banger. I should really look up her quest line at some point to get a full view of it.
Karlach
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Best girl. Strong muscles, soft heart. I want her to be my best friend IRL. She deserves better and if there is any way to get a better ending that allows her to stay in Faerun, the studio needs to get on that ASAP. In the meantime, I'm going to stay in the part of the internet that says she's fine don't worry about it. I'm hugging her and there is nothing you can do about it.
Wyll
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Sweet boy. A perfect boy who did nothing wrong ever. Yeah, yeah, sold his soul to a devil, but he had a good reason. Plus, he was seventeen. Nobody should let a seventeen year old make any decisions ever. I do need to find a good romance compilation. He needs more love. His friendship with Karlach is everything to me.
Gale
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People really need to stop complaining about this man. I see too many being ragging on about how he's not over his ex and keeps bringing her up. "With you I forget my goddess?" That isn't him saying with you he forgets his ex, he's saying with you he forgets his god. How are we all not collectively swooning? And he's a nerd who will info dump about his passions? Sign me the fuck up. His comfy pjs and burnt out gifted kid swagger has bewitched me body and soul.
Astarion
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Guys, you've seen my blog. I'm obsessed with him.
The moment I saw this asshole pop up on my dash, I knew I was going to love him. He was the reason I decided to finally look up a romance compilation once I realized my computer was too old to let me run the game. He's my type to the point of parody. Literally anybody who knows me, knows this guy would end up being my favorite.
His arc is about bodily autonomy and trauma. He's allowed to not be the perfect victim. He's angry and violent. He's selfish and terrified. And he is, sadly, one of the few characters who, as part of his arc, realizes he can say no to sex and he can be loved without it.
My point is, it should be no surprise to anybody that the ace community loves this man, and anybody complaining about it should shut up.
If you want to write your sexy Astarion fanfic, there is nothing stopping you. More power to you. I've seen the graveyard scene too. I recognize that regaining his autonomy and being able to have sex with somebody he cares about is part of the healing process.
At the same time, if writers want to interpret his arc is him realizing he never wants to have sex again, and that being okay; let them. We need this. There are so few characters like him out there.
At some point I do want to write an hour long video essay about his arc and how it's resonated with the ace community specifically.
Anyway, those are my general thoughts. I feel like I just swung a bat at a hornet's nest with that last bit, but what's life without a little danger?
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tsaricides · 25 days
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on the topic of “all the ways to stay away” i was surprised to see you mentioned the all-caste since a lot of jason fans tend to the ignore that part of his canon. what were your likes and dislikes about how the all-caste was handled and how you would go about it?
also absolutely obsessed with this conversation in chapter 3 of black out days, “You’re a child, she wants to reply. It’s a child’s job to be needy and to cry out for love. It’s a parent’s job to provide and never stop loving. And it’s a mourner’s right to stop the mourning when they believe that the dead have found peace.” this whole conversation was lovely, and your Jay and Talia voices are so good!! i think it’s my favorite line of yours ever
there is nothing that makes me happier than people pointing at specific bits of my writing that resonated with them, so you can only imagine how delighted your ask made me! thank you so much. i'm also very glad you liked that conversation, as the whole fanfic was actually a set up for it; it was quite literally the starting point for this work, as i was looking for an alternative version of the story in which such vulnerability and self-awareness could be afforded... which is to say, i was quite concerned people would read it and think "they would not say that"; but my whole point was that i was trying to alter the canon for it to become realistic.
which is, i think, a good opening to say that the way i use all-caste in that story is also purely instrumental. not only talia, but also the narrative, needed him in a place both removed from the league and gotham, and out of all places jay finds himself in canon, that was the most obvious one. i was not planning to expand on that in the series at all, but you are making me want to write an interlude that would explain both what happens in there in an au, and what i think is the only interesting thing about all-caste in canon...
i don't think canon needs all-caste at all; it is a hindrance to the style of storytelling that we see in the lost days, and it comes way too close to the "chosen one" idea for my liking... and many people point out that jason getting these magical swords that materialise only in the presence of evil is an anti-thesis to his character, because jason is supposed to be at least to a degree wrong. but i honestly think this ignores the best element of the storyline... which is that jay is forced to constrain his anger in order to fight that grand, ontological idea of evil... and then he rejects it. of course, lobdell unfortunately does not leave it that mere comma that is supposed to fit somewhere in the lost days, but i think as such it would not be all that offensive. because it makes sense for jay to deny that divine sort of judgement. he is given the ability to transcend the human matters and emotions in a crusade that would, in its justification, outrank that of batman; but it is of no interest for him, because for him killing is not holy, and his sense of morality and righteousness come from the most basic notions of interpersonal and societal relationships and an attempt to deal with ordinary cruelty that come with it. not a successful one; but this is what makes him who he is. so i might not like the all-caste for many reasons, but i don't think it outright goes against the bare bones of his characterisation. i would even say it's more of a world-building issue and asserting what type of setting jason belongs to.
in all the ways to stay away, unlike in canon, the world becomes a bit wider as jason tries to let go of his past; and like in canon, he rejects that ontological right to kill, but rather than reverting to more... down-to-earth motivations, it is a stepping stone for him to realise that it is not a responsibility for him to take at all. just as all-blades draw from his soul and demand his blood sacrifice, the ideology powering the red hood mission itself is also a form of self-harm. and with talia as an example there, jason starts looking for a third way, in between that detached and mighty path, and reducing himself to a bundle of pain driven by the opposite. this is also an additional push for that self-awareness that makes the story what it is -- an attempt for jason to do something he never does: let go.
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radiocrypt-id · 1 year
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I wonder if Elody considers our Gerard to be her husband. Think about it, she saw his body. She found him in a pile of corpses, destroyed animated objects, next to a dead fairy with a giant shard of glass embedded in his chest, more frog than man. But I'm wondering how she found him. Happenstance? traveling between fights? was she truly so close by and Gerard had no idea? No one had mentioned a lady in golden armour with a mace and a lily pad on her tower shield. It's convenient that she stumbled upon him, isn't it?
What if, when Cinderella found her, Elody didn't want to leave. She's a protective woman, sacrificed everything to save her people the best she could, Elody doesn't run away. And she would view it as running away, I have no doubts on that. A princess strides up to you in glass armour and tells you that your life is a lie, love is fake and the world is unkind by design; But she and her friends have a plan, they understand the world better, they've done many things many times over in copies of this world for longer than can be grasped. Elody would not have taken that at face value, Elody wasn't dead like Rosamund was. She was alive and fighting and angry, Elody wouldn't have just stopped. She had a stupid husband to find and yell at some day, if he's alive in whatever hole he's hiding in. She has a kingdom to save, monsters to slay, a world to set to rights, she can't just leave!
But Cinderella knows Gerard and his party is dead. She knows where they were, she was moments away from meeting Rosamund alive in that first world, she knows where they died. So imagine a frustrated, desperate Cinderella offered slim options. She could force Elody along, sure, but that would make a fast enemy. She could give the usual spiel about princes' being useless and cruel parts of the story, they don't love you or grow, they don't save you, they trap you; but Elody wasn't saved, she saved someone, so that fight is not familiar to Cinderella. or, she could prove Elodys world view wrong. What if Gerard wasn't hiding in a hole somewhere? What if even he was fighting? What if this world took him? What if Cinderella told Elody she knew where her husband was, that if she really wanted to save him, they could bring him along. Just don't regret it later, because this stuff is hard to do. Elody goes along with it, she's always wondered what happened to him, she's always hoped he was safe. And then she sees him, her silly frog, dead from trying to fight odds designed to destroy him. A destroyed person is so much easier to manipulate and move. A broken woman, feeling every bit a failure and guilty for a death of a loved one she couldn't prevent, whose last words shared were in anger and exasperation, who went out to find her, against all odds, instead of staying in his pond.
Imagine Cinderella telling her that Gerard died here, but he's twice upon a time now, he's in the next world still hoping to find her somehow. HER, not the Elody of the next world, but her specifically. Why, of course she'd go. Of course she'd rush to the next world, damned be the danger and confusion. That leaves her surrounded by women that hated the way their lives were meant to end, hated the suffering they were forced to endure, hated the princes meant to save them and then their lives were simply over. She resonated with some of it. How could she not?
When the party returns with Mira, Elody isn't surprised to see Gerard, meaning Snow White told her about him. She's expecting the same man that ran away but he's not. He's considerate and guilt ridden and honest to a fault. He's trying so hard. And maybe she started to believe he's changed. Maybe with the strangeness of their last interaction, the last "If I don't return, repunzel got me", the clear proof that he's still the silly frog, he's just trying to be better than that now too. Maybe she would have been ready to listen.
But then he ran away again, bleeding and dying, off across the snow. A seed left in her chest, heavy and cold: a lie to manipulate her? a warning to someone he loves? Could the people that helped her find him again truly wish to destroy it all? Her problem with their lives together was that it ended at marriage, why would she want to erase everything? but that can't be true, they can't be planning that. They've been right about so much. look here, like they said, he's the exact same. Running away from his problems, from the fight. Off to go get killed again pretending to be a hero. Just a dead frog on the ground with glass in his chest. Was she crying on the ramparts because she was scared for him? because she was frustrated at his fleeing?
Or was it from the pain and fear of believing him, of knowing he tried to reach her, nearly died for the second time, and chose to live to try again later, that he would return and fight again and maybe die to her new friends?
Does she ask them, on the ramparts, as they watch the snow flurry in the parties wake if what he told her was true?
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eighthdoctor · 22 days
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So, as a fan of Forsaken Sylvanas I've always wondered how you view her more immoral or hypocritical actions. I don't mean the later stuff from when she was Warchief or even necessarily Vanilla WOW.
For me, I always struggled to like Frozen Throne Sylvanas compared to her Reign of Chaos incarnation because Forsaken Sylvanas employed mind control, IE the same slavery forced on her, onto others.
Specifically she had a bunch of different people possessed and used as kamikaze soldiers on Varimathras and then kept the survivors to be used later, IE Mug'thol the Ogre who only broke free thanks to the Crown of Wills which he was later assassinated for.
The act itself just always struck me as incredibly hypocritical given everything. It wasn't killing and then being magically enslaved but it wasn't much better and sort of set the tone for me not being surprised by Sylvanas and the Forsaken being kind of bastards.
That isn't to say I necessarily thought it was a good decision.
Nor is it to say that it couldn't be made into something thematically resonant. The victim perpetuates a similar crime done unto them if perhaps less extreme out of desperate survivalism but has complicated feelings about it, or the like.
But given that didn't happen, well its a lot like how I don't take Bartman's "no guns" stance seriously when his best friend is a cop. The narrative and thematic dysfunction breaks my vibe. But I am curious about your take on all this.
SORRY FOR THE MULTIPLE WEEK DELAY ON THIS I HAD LIFE HAPPEN REPEATEDLY and also wanted to put some thought into this
okay so required reading which will underpin a lot of this:
what is a war crimes on azeroth
how does Sylvanas see her job as the Banshee Queen
what's up with the Maw [ETA: I don't remember why I put this one in...presumably past!me had a reason?]
as per the war crimes post, I am not using any real world examples for my own sanity, and trying to draw real world parallels will get you blocked, because I'm not interested in getting into that cesspit.
anyway so! the question!
context for everyone else: the events in question happened very shortly (months to a year or so, the timeline is SUPER fake) after Sylvanas fought free of Arthas's control, with.......some number of supporters.
the number of Forsaken/free undead here is important. if Sylvanas is commanding a significant army, then she has many viable routes toward keeping her people safe. if she's commanding fifteen soldiers and an undead goat, then almost any action becomes justifiable.
an unexplored angle in the war crimes post because god knows it was long enough already: the goal being fought over.
we find war crimes/atrocities more palatable when they are being used in defense against invasion than when they are used in perpetuation of it. we find them more acceptable if done by the smaller, weaker force fighting for survival.
this isn't a "get out of jail free" card to do whatever the fuck you want. but if there's a limitless army of demons invading my city, a few atrocities to keep them from ending life on the planet sounds like a fair trade.
and then, of course, a huge POINT in the war crimes post is "we don't do these things because we get really upset when they happen to US", so the moment the OTHER side does a war crime it's now fair game for everyone.
which is to say: as of frozen throne, Sylvanas is fighting entirely for survival. there is not an organized force on Azeroth (or even most of the unorganized ones) who wants her & the Forsaken 'alive'. they are everyone's favorite punching bag. everything she does is for sheer survival.
so how many Forsaken are there? good question.
when poking around the wiki it looks like there are two different ways to estimate the size of the Forsaken at this point in time:
from WC3 gameplay
from WoW gameplay & lore (ex, the History of Warcraft fragment Civil War in the Plaguelands)
unfortunately these uh. contradict. the fragment explicitly says she got half the Scourge (well done Sylvanas holy shit), and god knows there's enough Forsaken PCs running around to validate this.
but WC3 gameplay leans very much toward "scrappy band of rebels" imho. the wiki has "With only a handful of ghouls and a few banshee sisters" (here) which is hardly half the Scourge. it looks much more like it's her, the Dark Rangers, a smattering of weirdass things she took with her in the divorce liberated in her escape and...Varimathras. everyone's fave.
let's put those two together.
let's say that Sylvanas did liberate half the Scourge. in particular, given various propensities among Forsaken PCs, she got a disproportionate amount of the recently dead and relatively few of the older abominations.
and when her tens-or-hundreds-of-thousands of undead came to awareness again, realizing who they were, what they had been made to do, the world they were now resident in--
they collapsed.
what if in frozen throne Sylvanas has a city's worth of undead who are collectively unable to defend themselves, unable to do anything, and she's got maybe a thousand who are actually viable fighters, and everyone wants them wiped out.
(the single arguable exception to this, the quel'dorei, are in the middle of whatever the FUCK kael'thas is up to. idk. i've read the relevant pages 10 times and it still makes no sense. he got afflicted with Gotta Carry The Plot disease and everything went to shit from there. point is, they're busy.)
so with that context.
it is, of course, horrible to possess people and use them as sacrificial soldiers. this is a Bad Thing to do etc.
it's also very strategically sound. it allows Sylvanas to hurt the enemy without risking anything. there's no possible drawback here except some squishy ethics, and "doing horrible things in defense of civilians" is, at least, a huge step up from what Arthas made her do.
if Sylvanas had had other options, if there were more functional Forsaken at that point in time, then different story, but WC3 gameplay strongly strongly suggests that no, a very small percentage of those who were going to make classic era Forsaken were actually fighting in frozen throne. how else was she going to protect her people?
but in general, much, much more sympathetic to people doing war crimes if they are horrifically outnumbered and otherwise going to be wiped out. that tends to provoke anyone into atrocities.
I've talked before--I actually talk in the latest chapter--about how Sylvanas is always defending Silvermoon. this is another iteration of that.
it's also VERY early in her....'character arc' might be a bit strong. trajectory. Sylvanas-on-Gor can set the moral limit of "no rape no slavery", because nothing that happens on Gor is going to change the fates of the Forsaken (well...it is, but indirectly). even Sylvanas-as-Warchief can draw that line, because she is Warchief and the Forsaken are considered part of the Horde, not the Horde's cannon fodder.
but the actions in question were done when Sylvanas wasn't in the Horde. before she'd even named the Forsaken.
to sum up:
I don't think it's hugely hypocritical, or rather, it kind of is, but desperate times etc, she was pushed into a corner and tore her way back out again.
Blizzard's failure to follow up on their own themes remains, as always, a problem. but it's not my problem and I'm perfectly happy to grab some themes and run.
I do think torturing/mind controlling Derek was hypocritical, which is why I completely wrote that part out of the fic. boring, Blizzard. and what was the point? far more effective to leave him just as he is and watch Jaina try to find the trap.
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pinkrelish · 11 months
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Prev anon here! You’ve done a great job in keeping reader non specific. I think part of the reason it resonates is because you’ve done a great job at keeping her relatable to so many people, which is not an easy feat. And I know this is a tricky topic(but an important one) but I do see the effort you put it and it’s def appreciated.
And you SHOULD rb all the amazing fan art that’s been made!! Every single one has been so so lovely!! And it’s lovely that people are inspired to make such art. It’s certainly not in your control how others want to depict anyone.
On that note, Idk where the line is in “we’re all just individuals making things!” And “wow somehow so much of the fanart within the fandom is white-centric” there is no easy answer, and it’s not one persons issue to shoulder or even address, but there’s certainly an awareness that can be had around it.
thank you for coming back! i realized after reading over my last response that i talked a lot about myself, and my fic, because i wasn't sure how to react to TYP specifically spawning this larger conversation, and didn't mean to put the sole focus on myself.
i've only contributed to one fandom before this and it was OC heavy, so the idea of people drawing reader inserts—who should be written as vague—is new to me. i've seen three other pieces of fanart for other writer's RI stories, and in two of them the skin tone was left blank and the head was cut off so no hair style could be depicted, and in the third it was chosen to be a white RI.
and even though i haven't been in a fandom as large as this, media in general leans, favors, and worships skinny white women as the ideal, and it's sadly not surprising when i scroll past header after header on fics that exemplify this. do i think writers do this maliciously? no. that's why i reach out in private with the intent to educate. do i also think poc have made RI art, written RI stories, and don't get as much engagement, and have received racist anons saying their art is not inclusive, and made to feel unwelcomed? absolutely. not even a question.
not too long ago when a big blog was pointed out for having an extremely white-coded fic, their response was to double down, call the poc trying to educate them "aggressive", and ultimately ignore them, and acted obtuse about the issue when all they asked for, at minimum, was for the fic to having a warning at the top.
and how many stories on here *don't* have warnings, but have multiple word choices indicating how pale the reader is? ....many. again, i'd wager most white writers aren't even conscious of these decisions until pointed out, but, yeah, poc have spoken up in the eddie munson x reader tag many times about getting part way through a story only to read something white-coded, and get thrown out of the immersion.
i'm not sure how to address the fanart with TYP specifically, and artists choosing to insert themselves, or representing themselves by choosing a skin tone close to their own to give miss mouse, other than to say i hope i'm making this blog a comfortable space for anyone to contribute art if they feel inspired and have the time, and know that i will defend anyone's interpretation because, in essence, she exists as a vehicle to tell a story about eddie finding love. i would love to see more representation for her so everyone can picture themselves in the story.
i'm clearly not an eloquent speaker, but i wanted to answer this with the audience i have, and as you said in the ask, bring awareness to an issue that exists in all fandoms, and is much larger than my story or fanart for my story, and is more about poc not feeling comfortable contributing, or even existing, in fandom spaces.
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icedmetaltea · 3 months
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I had this little idea, but I'm too shy to post it on my account and I didn't want to let it die. So how about a Sun and Moon outlast au?
You are an older brother, or maybe a parent, the point is that you have a small child to take care of. He disappeared and the only place the police didn't check is this crazy old place, abandoned for all you know and the police would ban you from going if they knew what you were planning.
So, you go in there and, the place is not abandoned
There are many people, deformed and thirsty for blood, you have to run, but you won't leave without your child, You find and a camera and a decent amount of batteries that you struggle to distribute, you lose some fingers, you definitely have traumas and you don't know how to get out, you start to convince yourself that your child is not here.
At one point you find a strange robot that chases you, it laughs like a maniac and its claws leave marks where they rest, it has red eyes that glow in the dark, its sharp teeth make you wonder if it eats meat. He is unexpectedly clean of blood, but to no one's surprise he is not afraid of getting stained. You run and stumble, in the end you reach this large room, it is colorful, happy, but the colors are worn out and there are brown stains on the floor, and you hear someone calling your name.
Your child comes out from under some rubble, runs towards you and you welcome him with open arms. Then you have a few seconds of relief, and then metal arms surround you and you spin around. A laugh resonates in your ears, your feet don't touch the floor and when you look up you see another robot, this time it has rays of sun, a happy smile, pure happiness and when you get off it introduces itself. His name is Sun, he is in charge of making you have a good time and taking care of your mental health.
The robot that chased you enters the room, and Sun must interfere. There is an argument, the red-eyed one says that you are trespassing on private property, and Sun says that they can make exceptions, after all you were friends with his little friend.
Then you spend a whole afternoon with them, the one you discover is called Moon tells you how he was patrolling when he came across this innocent child wandering in the yard, it was too dangerous to leave him there, too many bad people wandering around, they couldn't just push him into the woods. And Sun was glad to have a friend.
When you say you have to go, they just look at you. Moon says he will leave to patrol, you go after him shortly after saying goodbye to a Sun who just looks at you in silence.
The door is locked.
Goosebumps break out on your skin and you are acutely aware of the jingling bells approaching. You hide the child behind you and turn around. Sun opens his arms and talks about how it is safer here, the four of you could fit in here without a problem. Moon was always away but he would bring blankets, food and the basics, Sun would take care of you two, you would play a lot of games. No one would ever bother them.
You have a feeling these robots are going to be more trouble than any crazy person in this damn place.
You will do whatever it takes to protect the innocent who hides here, even if you have to fake a smile until you know how to escape. That probably won't go well the first few tries, you get somewhat humiliating punishments that you have to disguise for the infant, and Sun is okay with that.
But no matter how long it takes, you will get out of here.
FUCK YEA OUTLAST AUUUUUUUU
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This is an awesome idea!! Idk if it's more scary to be around a bunch of insane humans or a couple robots with not all their screws intact (I'd stay with them in a heartbeat either way)
Dude imagine the daycare but like. It's even more in shambles and completely in the dark aside from the night vision on your camera. Sun's smile showing up a bit too bright around the corners. You can't even cry, you have to put up a brave face for the kid...
That is some gooooooood soup right there. Thank you for sharing!!!
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