#i'm still not okay and i'll never move past it 😭 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

norrisleclercf1 · 9 months

Text

Just The Beginning

Pairing: Lando Norris x Reader

Words: 2.2K

Requested: Yes / No

Request: Hey! First of all i love your writing like every time you post I go WILD anyways.. I’ve been thinking a lot about kind of a prequel to the mini lando series in which Lando and reader have been trying for a baby but haven’t been successful and as they loose hope, reader gets sick so lando goes to the pharmacy to get reader some medicine and when reader wakes up he calls him like “maybe bring a pregnancy test too” and lando is like “omgomgomg it can’t be” and he gets like super excited and anxious and everyone at the pharmacy is like “first time?” Anyways, turns out reader is finally pregnant with Aiden?!! 😭😭😭

Rating: R because of difficult topics

Warnings: Difficultly getting pregnant, losing hope, feeling of failure and not good enough, relationship difficulties, ANGST, fluff, I'm sure there are more warnings, please read this carefully if you have trouble reading this topic

Synopsis: Lando and you have wanted to be parents for the longest time, but maybe it just wasn't meant to be

Mini Lando / New Addition / Mini Lando Masterlist

"Lando, don't get your hopes up." Hands placed over your mouth as you watch the timer on your phone. Lando nods, but you can't miss the excited smile he tries so hard to hide.

"I won't. I promise." You refuse to look at the white and blue test on the counter before you two. Three years married, Carlos and Charles having children, and the two of you getting baby fever a year ago have two of you trying to have your own children. "Lando, stop." You snap, placing your hand on your husband's bouncing leg.

"Sorry." He stops, rubbing sweaty hands on his jeans. He knew you didn't mean to snap, but the tension was intense after multiple negative tests and tears. The shrieking beeps of the timer have you jumping, head dropping as you can't look at the test. "Want me to look?" Lando's voice held no excitement.

"Please." Standing, he grabs the test. How was he to tell you it was negative again? It was already a thought in your mind that you might have problems. "It's negative, isn't it?" Lando turns, your red eyes boring into his sad ones. "That's okay, though. We can try again." He places the test down, reaching for you.

You stand, leaving the bathroom, heading to your office, and slamming the door. Lando flinches, hearing the soft echoes of your cries. He wanted nothing more than to hold you, yet for the past three months, you shoved him away every time that negative popped up. Sliding down the counter, he buries his head in his arms, his own tears slipping down his face.

Wiping his face, he sniffles and stands, heading to your office. "Y/n, please open the door." He begs, just wanting to hold his wife. "Go away!" You scream something thumping on the door. "Okay." Lando whimpers out. "I'm going to.....I'm going for a driver. I'll be back." You let out a chest-rattling gasp hearing the soft thuds of him walking away.

You don't know when you stopped crying. The feeling of being hollow was all you could make out. Lando was still not back; you wouldn't blame him if he never returned. He wanted to be a father so badly, and while you could give him everything, you couldn't give him this. Lando wanted to talk to you, but you couldn't voice those dark thoughts you kept having.

How could you tell the love of your life you felt like a failure? The man who loved you more than driving that he should leave you and find someone else who could give him children. The terror that gripped you at the possibility of Lando doing that left you sick. The empty promises you two whispered to one another, the baby names, the pictures of the future that were slowly slipping away.

The mechanical whirl of the garage door opening gets you moving. Heading back to the bathroom, you throw the test away just for it to join the rest of those false hopes and dreams. The garage door opens and closes with keys jingling as you clean your face. You plaster a look of calm. You mastered the look and act of you're fine.

"Baby?" Lando's voice carries through the house, drawing you out of the bedroom. "I'm here." A loud sigh as he rounds the corner. Those doubts rile up hearing that sigh. Was he sighing because you're still here? Because he came home? Regretting marrying you? "Hi." His soft smile greets you.

"Sorry about earlier. I need to start dinner." Lando watches as you sidestep him, heading straight for the kitchen. "Forget dinner. Let's go out, get some fresh air." Closing your eyes, you try hard to clamp down on the anxiety that creeps into your bones. "No, I want to stay home. I'm tired." Lando nods, swallowing hard as he walks away. He always walked away, never wanting to fight with you anymore.

He was giving up. Lando would leave you soon, and you don't blame him. You failed.

Dinner and the house were silent for the rest of the day.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"She refuses to talk to me." Carlos hums, sipping his beer as the two watch Y/n play with little Santiago. "Have you tried therapy?" Lando bristles, as mentioned. "If she would talk to me, Carlos, I would mention it." He hisses, tearing the label off his beer.

"Don't get snappy with me. You two are made for one another, and this is just a....rough patch." Carlos smiles, waving at his little boy, who Y/n bounces, talking to Carlos's wife. "This isn't a rough patch Carlos. She wants children, and I....I can't even give her them." Carlos's smile fades, turning to look at his dearest friend.

"Have you two ever been to a fertility clinic? Tested? Anything?" Carlos knew what Lando was like. If anything went wrong, he put all the blame on him. It doesn't matter if it's an outside force. It was automatically his fault. "No, I'm terrified to mention it. What if she feels like, I'm placing all the blame on her?" Lando pulls his eyes away from you, and you look so damn happy.

For the first time in 4 months since that day in the bathroom, you looked like a shell of yourself. Holding Santi, you look alive. "Lando, you two clearly haven't been talking. Talk to your wife, and I know it's terrifying. But, what if you never talk, and this breaks the both of you?" Lando shakes his head no. "No, no, that's not possible." Carlos sighs, patting him on his shoulder.

"Did you have a good talk with Carlos?" Lando jumps, hearing your voice as he drives the two of you home. "What? Oh, yeah, it was fine." Lando shrugs, and you sigh. Carlos's wife had told you to start small and that it was best to start a conversation with your husband. "What'd you talk about?" Lando cringes at the question, not wanting to talk about it.

"Nothing, just the upcoming season and all that." You nod your head, anger bubbling in your chest at him, avoiding the conversation. "Nothing? Did you talk about nothing for the entire day?" Your husband's eyes slide over to you, the anger evident in your voice. "No, we didn't talk about nothing the entire day. But you wouldn't know that as you refuse to talk to me." Lando snaps, and you blink, shocked at his raised tone.

"Refuse to talk to you? I'm always talking to you, Lando! You're the one who refuses to even look at me!" Lando adjusts himself in his seat, trying to calm himself down. "Really? Really? Y/n, the last time we had a real fucking conversation was the morning you took that test. After that day, you refuse to let me touch you. I can't even approach the topic without you shutting down. My wife is gone and refuses to let me help, much less know the problem." Lando slams the car into park as you stare at him, shocked at this anger.

"I'm furious with you, dammit!" Lando throws the door open, storming to the front door as you follow, watching him reach a specific door. "Don't you dare go in there!" You scream, trying to stop him, but he throws you off. "Don't!" He throws it open as you stare at the empty room, with only one object in the middle.

"You can't even walk in here. This is our baby's room, and you keep that door closed. Why? What is it that you can't talk to me anymore? I'm your husband, and we've......do you not love me anymore? We haven't had sex in months; tell me that you blame me. I know you think it's my fault. Say it!" He screams at you pounding his chest as you stare at one another, crying.

"Blame you? Blame you!" You laugh, stepping foot into the nursery Lando built and decorated himself for the first time. "You want to be a father so damn bad! Do you know what it's like to hold Santi or Anthoine when we're with our friends? To see that look in your eyes and then the one of disappointment when you look at me?" As you step deeper into the room, you wipe the tears from your eyes. "Every damn test, that look grows with more hatred, and I know you hate me. I'm the wife that is failing at giving you children, Lando. I'm the reason why!" You laugh.

"I don't blame you, Lando." Spitting out the words, you stand inches from one another. "I'm scared I'll wake up one day, and you're gone. You left me because I'm a failure as a wife for not giving you children. I'm terrified that....that." Lando stops you, hugging you tightly as you collapse in his arms. "I don't think you're a failure. You are the strongest person I know, Y/n." Hearing those words, you gasp out loud as you cry loudly.

"I love you, and we will have children. One day. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but we will have children one day."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

One Year Later

Therapy was going well for the two of you, and you could finally talk about everything. Lando how he felt he was to blame and not good enough. You, how you felt like a failure and that Lando would leave you. Everyone could see the change in your relationship, how you both looked lighter and happier. Your therapist suggested taking a break from trying to have children, and you did.

The two of you talked of the pressure it put on both of you, that it was a weight on your chest. Lando agreed that waiting would be best, and if the two try again, talk to a specialist first. Traveling around the world and just enjoying yourselves as well was communicating was important now. The nursery door was kept shut, but you added small things here and there.

Except right now, you've been bedridden with the flu. Everything smelled horrible, and the food tasted gross. You've been throwing up and just wanting Lando next to you the only time you've felt a semblance of being your healthy self. "I'm going to the pharmacy. Be back." Lando whispers as you wave him off. You can't do another day like this.

Laying in bed, you can only think everything over for the past month. Month. Maybe it was your period, you've never really had to go through this often, but it did happen. Except.....

Eye flying open, you scramble to grab your phone calling Lando. "What, is something wrong?" Lando's panicked voice fills your ear after the 2nd ring. "No, um...you remember last month when we got a little careless?" Lando chuckles, the memories very clear as he thinks about you and where he- "Wait? Do you think?" Lando's eyes widen as he tries so hard not to get excited.

"I...I don't know. Pick one up. Please." Lando agrees as a soft ding of the pharmacy lets the workers know someone has walked in. "Hi, can I get some anti-nausea meds and a pregnancy test?" He can't help the giant smile that fills his face. The lovely older lady behind the counter smiles at him. "First time, sweetie?" He chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Kinda? I mean....this is." She raises her hand, stopping his stutters. "I understand; I hope it all goes well." Lando slaps the money on the counter and rushes off with a wave. Running home, no need to announce he's back as you're there grabbing the test.

And here you are again, sitting on the same tub ledge. Watching the seconds tick by, the same hope and feelings of doubt cover you both. Neither of you says anything, both jumping out of your skin at the shrieking timer.

Reaching for the test, Lando snaps your hand down. Holding it. "Wait, just wait." He breathes, staring at you. "Whatever it says, it doesn't matter. It's not my fault nor yours. We're not failures, and we will have children one day. It doesn't matter how or when, but we will love them no matter what. And I'll love you until I die. Okay?" You nod, swallowing as you stand, grabbing the test.

Your hands start to shake as tears begin to fall; Lando sighs. "Hey, it's okay. We should make that appointment, huh?" He laughs, trying to lighten the mood as you shake your head no. "It's positive." You whisper, his head snapping up, not believing your words. "What?" Standing up, you laugh, showing him the test. "It's positive." You repeat as he covers your shaking hand, trying to read the test.

"It's positive? It's positive!" He laughs, scooping you up as he spins you around. The two of you laugh and cry. "We're going to be parents," Lando whispers, holding you close. "We're going to be parents." You repeat, neither of you believing this; Lando giggling. "Aiden." You pull back, confused why he'd say that name. "Aiden, if it's a boy, Odette if it's a girl." You smile, kissing your husband gently.

"It's perfect." He nods, hand lying on your stomach. "I will love you for the rest of my life. You have no idea how loved you already are."

2K notes · View notes

yesimwriting · 3 months

Note

oh my god yes i'm very much interested in a drabble about my favourite besties kissing as besties do!!!!!!!!

the one that i really can't stop thinking about is the "i trust you more than anyone else" stuff like it's me and you against the world i'm such a sucker for that!! especially since felix is surrounded by people who wanna be close to him all the time and as easy going and open as he seems with anyone, it's of course on an entirely different level with reader

ugh the intimacy of it all makes me melt i love them😭😭

you get the vision!!

also had to start off a little angstier than usual bc the bestie kiss ™️ is only justifiable if both of them are upset enough to be more focused on being close than anything else, y'know

----

The taste lingers. The bitterness infects all it touches, poisoning you from the inside out as you down the drink that some guy pushed into your hand a few minutes ago.

A familiar warning briefly flashes to the front of your mind. Don't take drinks from strangers...especially not drinks that you didn't see them make. One of a hundred safety rules that you usually adhere to.

You've never really under the self destructive urge after drinking thing. Maybe it's just being tired. Maybe it's just this.

You wipe at your eyes with your palm, only remembering the products you had so carefully applied to your skin a few hours ago after the fact.

"Are you--" A familiar voice cuts through the music. You blink once, but it's not enough to force your eyes to adjust, so you try again. After screwing your eyes shut for a second, you can finally make out the person in front of you. Annabel. "You don't look like you're doing too good."

Your irritation has nothing to do with her, and yet seeing her standing there, effortlessly flawless with a slight edge that just fits here, you feel the knot in your stomach tighten. But that's not her fault, so as stabiliy and politely as possible, you answer, "I'm...fine."

She regards you for a moment, eyebrows pinching together in uncertainty. "Why don't we find Felix, yeah?"

Why does everyone always assume that Felix is the solution to all of your problems? "I'm okay," you try again, voice a little more certain, "really."

Annabel still doesn't seem too convinced. She turns her head, scanning the crowded room. It doesn't take long for her to find Felix. It never does.

He's sitting on a loveseat that's been pushed towards the edge of the room. A few people are standing around him, a girl is sitting on the chair's arm, her legs swung over his lap.

"And he seems..." You force your face to remain neutral as your eyes finally land on him. "Busy."

Annabel looks back at you, her lips pressing together. Her expression only adds to your unease. "He wouldn't mind. It's you."

You shake your head, the motion adding to your slight nausea. Usually, you wouldn't think twice about sticking by Felix's side. Especially in this kind of setting, but after the words the two of you exchanged earlier, everything feels off its axis.

You're not used to fighting with Felix. It's such a foreign concept that the strange tension that had you walking away from him earlier probably doesn't even constitute an actual argument. But it's enough to make you feel out of place.

Swallowing once, you force yourself to focus on Annabel. "I think I just need some air." Annabel's still regarding you with uncertainty. "I'll be back in a minute, and if I feel sick or anything, I'll go get Felix." She doesn't move until someone calls her name. "Go. Have fun. I'll see you."

Annabel nods once, giving you a polite smile before leaving.

The door is near where Felix is sitting, which means there's no leaving without walking past him. There's enough of a crowd around him that him not noticing is a likely option, so you feel safe crossing the room.

You push your way through the room, eyes trained on the ground to help your balance. It's also a good excuse to not look at Felix as you reach the door.

There are stragglers--a group of girls chatting and giggling in front of the door, some guys doing shots, a girl in the middle of a phone call that looks painful.

You walk around the side of the house until you find an empty section of the sidewalk. The party feels far away here, even though the only thing dividing you is a few cars, a mailbox, and a streetlight. You sit and let yourself pretend that the bit of distance you've managed to create means something.

You could actually leave. Sure, this is a slightly off campus house party, but it's only a few blocks away from the street that'll take you to your dorm. You did walk here, but that was when you were focused, sober, and you had Felix with you.

But that's--you brought cash. You think. Maybe you should call a cab. It's not the worst idea. You drop your attention to the ground, instinctually searching for your purse.

Ugh. Your purse. Felix. You gave it to Felix.

Okay, you're still an independent person. This is probably for the best. It's never a good idea to leave a party without at least telling the person you came with, and this way it won't be a big deal. You'll ask for your purse so that you can call a cab. He probably won't even care.

You just need a minute to get it together. Then you'll be able to go back in, tap Felix on his shoulder, and get your purse. He won't even have to get that girl off his lap.

It is such a double standard. Felix completely forgetting about you is perfectly fine, but you talk to one person that isn't more Felix's friend than yours at one of these things and that must mean you're trying to replace him as a best friend.

Maybe you've been deluding yourself, convincing yourself that your friendship means more than it actually does. The thought makes it hard to breathe right.

"It's cold out."

Your palms press into asphalt as you snap your head to find the source of the sound. Felix. A lump wedges itself in your throat. "I'm fine." He takes a step forward. "I just wanted some air."

You turn your head, forcing yourself to stare ahead. Soft footsteps, the crunching of asphalt echoes, somehow sharper than the music coming from the house. Felix sits.

He's farther than he usually is.

You lift your hands, taking your time brushing your fingers against your palms to get rid of the debris that indented itself into your skin. "You um--you have my purse, right?" You fold your hands against your lap. "I need my phone. I--I need to call a taxi."

"What?" His voice doesn't come out angry, but there's a flatness there that burrows deep into the pit of your stomach. It almost feels disappointed. "Why?"

You squeeze your hands together, "I want to go home." You still can't look at him. "I want to go back to my room." Your voice starts to crack on the last word. Nails instinctually dig into your knee.

Felix sighs, angling himself towards you, "You don't have to do that." His voice is soft, cautious. "If you want to leave, I'll take you."

"No," you shake your head once, attention still focused forward to keep him from noticing the fact that your eyes are now watering. All of this feels so dumb, so small. Why are you almost crying? "It's okay, you're having fun, I can get back by myself."

He lets out another breath, moving his arm so that his hand sits between both of you. "You're drunk."

"So are you."

A beat of silence that feels like an attempt at admitting that he's more than just drunk. You saw Tyler--or Trevor, or maybe Timothy--wandering the halls. Some guy whose name you can never remember because he only shows up at the end of nights, when you're too out of it to do much more than just be happy. He's known for carrying--and sharing--harder stuff.

Not that you'd know. There's nowhere that Felix won't take you, nothing that he keeps from you. That's part of the beauty of your friendship, the lack of judgement. But Felix isn't fond of you participating in everything all the time.

If you ever show interest in anything on a night that Felix isn't feeling too sure about, he'll offer to get you whatever you want later, when it's just the two of you. Maybe you'd mind his concern if you cared about getting high more.

You can feel Felix's stare, the weight of his full attention. "You don't actually think I'm going to let you go anywhere alone, after drinking, in the middle of the night."

There's a patience there that makes it hard to sit still. You turn your head, finally looking at him, "I'm fine. I can--" You cut yourself off with a slight sniffle.

You wipe at your face with the side of your palm. Felix's eyebrows are pinched together. You don't know what to make of the way he's watching you. Felix lifts his hand, fingers finding their way against your jaw before you can move. "You're upset."

Pressing your lips together, you try to force yourself to look as neutral as possible. "I'm fine." He doesn't move. "You should go back to your party, Felix."

"The party?" His expression briefly contorts in confusion. "I don't care about the party." Your vision is starting to blur. "There are other parties. You're crying." Felix shifts his hand up your face, his thumb brushing against the apple of your cheek.

You try to take a stabilizing breath, "It's not a big deal." You will yourself to move, to rely on him less. "I don't think I'm going to be any fun tonight, you should go, and I--I'll talk you tomorrow."

He frowns. "You don't have to be any fun." Felix shouldn't have to coddle you. Embarrassment and guilt further knot your stomach. "If you want to sit here, we can sit here. If you want to go inside, we can go inside. If you want to go home, we'll go home."

"Earlier," you manage, focusing on keeping your voice as even as possible, "When we--" Tears pool in your eyes, something at the back of your throat constricts. "I didn't--I don't know--"

You're not making sense, forcing out fragments of thoughts that don't work together. Felix seems to understand anyway, his thumb grazing against your cheek. "We don't have to talk about that now." You nod slowly. "If you still want to go home, let me take you."

You attempt a full breath, "But what ab--"

He tilts his head in a way that makes it feel like he's telling you a secret, "If you ask about the party again, I'm calling you delusional."

You roll your eyes. It's a relatively lame threat, but it serves its purpose. The corner of your mouth tugs itself upwards, your lips pressed together to hold in a partial laugh. "Okay."

Felix's hand slips from the side of your face and finds a new place against your shoulder. "Yeah? Let's go then."

He stands first and then extends an arm to help you. His stability makes it easier.

There is no laughter or pausing on sidewalks to try to hold onto each other. The two of you are quiet, but Felix does keep your fingers intertwined the entire way back to his dorm.

You don't think to question where he's taking you until you're in his room. "Felix." The walk had been good for you, the fresh air and time to gather your thoughts providing enough of a reprieve for you to get it together. "I want to go to sleep."

"Yeah," he mumbles, "I know, I'll get you your favorite shirt."

Your eyes focus on the ground. "I think I should sleep in my room tonight."

Felix sighs, turning away from the door. "You're trying to leave again."

The accusation only half makes sense, but there's a quietness to his voice that gets to you. All the nervous, alcohol fueled energy is coming back with a vengeance. "When have I ever left you?"

Felix scoffs, the sound bitter. "You left me tonight." If his voice was any less raspy, any less urging, you likely would have laughed. He's the one that got mad at you. "You just--you walked away from me. Like I didn't even matter to you."

The a thinly veiled sadness there that almost feels nervous. He can't meet your gaze. The pride encouraging you to stand still bleeds from you. Without its heat, its fire, there's not much keeping you stable.

You move forward, footsteps cautious. "Felix." You stretch a hand forward, fingers brushing against his forearm. He doesn't move. "Of course you matter to me. So much." Your fingers bend around his wrist. "You're my best friend."

He turns his arm. Your body tenses, preparing for his rejection. Felix's hand squeezes yours. There's a tension in his hold, but you embrace it all the same. "You walked away from me."

You take another step towards him, freehand finding his arm. "That's why." He sets a hand against you waist. The contact is firm, unforgiving. There's still hurt, but the only thing more unthinkable than holding on is letting go. "What you say means so much to me, because you're my best friend." His fingers press into your side. "And you were upset--and there were so many people--" Tears prick the corner of your eyes. "And I couldn't do that there."

"No." He squeezes your hand. "No, don't--don't cry, we're okay." As if to prove his point, Felix pulls you closer. The movement's too sudden for you to keep your balance on your own. You tighten your hold on Felix's arm. "Still my best girl, yeah?"

This is nowhere near the closest you've ever been to him. He has a hand on your hip, but that's far from the touchiest he's ever been. It shouldn't--he shouldn't be this distracting. It takes you a second too long to remember to nod.

He angles his head downwards, his cheek finding a place against your shoulder. Felix's breath is warm against your neck. "Wouldn't leave me."

You nod, moving your hand to rest against his back. Felix relaxes against you. It's not easy to stay stable with the alcohol still in your system and Felix's weight on you, but you manage.

"No." You mean it so much it almost hurts to get out. You'd never walk away from him. There's nothing like your bond with Felix. You could talk to him, be around him forever without feeling drained. "Of course not."

Felix turns his head, brushing his lips against your neck. "Stay over, then?" The question is soft, fragile. It'd be smart to create distance. If tonight's proven anything, it's that you're too attached to him. "Please?"

You smooth your knuckles against his spine. "Okay." He presses a kiss against your shoulder. "Yeah. I'll stay."

He hugs you even tighter. "No more tears, alright?"

You squeeze him back. "Alright."

For awhile, the two of you stay like that. There's nothing left to say, and that still manages to be comfortable. Silence is never uncomfortable with Felix.

He eventually shifts to place a kiss against the side of your neck. "We should get ready for bed."

You hum once in agreement. Neither of you move. Things are simple when you factor out the rest of the world. Things are easy when it's just you and Felix.

An overwhelming wave of fondness brings you back. As gently as possible, you start the process of untangling limbs. Felix pouts at you, expression drowsier than before.

Your fingers carefully brush his hair out of his face. "I need to change."

Felix fully straightens. His hand finds the back of your head. He pulls you towards him, pressing a kiss against your forehead. "Okay."

He lets go of you before walking towards his dresser. Felix opens the top drawer and finds your usual sleep shirt. You take it before entering his bathroom.

Going out outfits are cute, but there's something about the moment you get home that immediately forces every ounce of discomfort to hit all at once. You shed the restrictive layers before pulling Felix's T-shirt over your head.

You swear there's some kind of rich guy secret to keeping clothes this soft. A combination of fabric, fancy detergent, and some third thing that's reserved for those in the know.

You turn on the sink, ready to wash what's left of the night off of your face. Felix has never gotten rid of or moved anything you've left in here. What's left of your buzz has you more emotional than usual, making the evidence of your life in his space heavier than it should be.

The feeling is good and bad all at once. Your attachment to Felix is the kind of thing that can only come from fully understanding someone. But there's an inherent danger in knowing someone like that, carrying about them like that. Especially Felix, who has everyone so he doesn't need anyone.

You splash some more water onto your face, attempting to shake off any lingering angst. You don't want to dissect your friendship until it eventually falls apart into nothingness.

When you finally step back into his room, Felix is sitting on his bed, back pressed against the wall. He's managed to change into pajama pants, but seems to be struggling with everything else. His shirt's half unbuttoned, and his fingers are actively working at undoing the rest of them. Felix's movements are slow and clumsy as he tugs on the fabric.

Wow. Maybe you were right to think he was high. "Hey." He looks up at you, hands still attempting to pull apart his shirt. There's something endearing about the clumsiness. He drops his head back down to refocus."Do you--uh--do you need help?"

He angles his head to one side, a smile playing at his lips. "Are you asking to undress me?"

Heat burns through your chest, leaving you hollow. You approach his dresser, leaving your neatly folded outfit on the wooden surface. "Figure out your own shirt."

"No," his sigh is light, almost a laugh, "'M kidding." Your glare only seems to add to his easygoing mood. He smiles, dropping a hand to pat the space next to him. "Come here."

You give in with a sigh, crossing the room and sitting at the foot of his bed. He reaches forward, briefly squeezing your shoulder before returning to work on his shirt. It's hard to watch him stumble through undoing a single button, just to have to start the process all over again.

You pull your legs onto the bed, turning to fully face him. Your knee is pressed against his thigh.

"Lovie," he hums, as if your presence is some kind of revelation.

"Felix." He grins, hands releasing his shirt in favor of trying to grasp your arm. "Wait--" His fingers wrap around your wrist. "I'm--trying--" He pulls your hand towards him, placing a kiss against your knuckles. You laugh. "I'm trying to help you."

He tugs on your arm. His pull isn't harsh, but the unexpectedness of it paired with your buzz makes it enough to throw off your balance. Your freehand presses against the mattress in an attempt to stabilize yourself. Felix laughs, tugging on you again.

Fighting your own fit of giggles, you instinctually push yourself onto your knees in an attempt to regain some control. Felix gives you a second to find your footing. You gently pull his hand off of your forearm and set it on his lap. He frowns.

You extend your arms, placing your hands on his shoulders. Part of the reason for it is to help keep you stable, the rest of it is to keep him focused. He looks up at you, eyes pools of hesitant affection. "Stay still."

He lets you reach for his shirt. "Y'don't have to, I'm okay."

Shrugging, you continue to work at unclasping his buttons. "It's okay, I like helping you."

You unbutton the few buttons that are left. "Better?" Felix nods. "I'll get you a pajama shirt."

Before you can get far, Felix grabs your hand. "We're..." He focuses on bending and straightening your fingers. "Good, right?"

There's something soft about the question, almost shy. "Yeah." He turns over your palm, tracing the lines etched into your skin. "Of course we're good." You adjust, crossing your legs beneath you to sit down.

"Honestly, I was thinking about it, and part of the reason I was upset is because..." This is harder to admit than you thought it'd be. "You seemed really okay without me, and that--I don't know. It's dumb, because I really do want you to be happy, but it made me feel a little replaceable, I guess."

"What?"

You sigh, dropping your attention to your intertwined hands. "I know, I said it was dumb." You pause, eyes darting up to look at him. His expression isn't judgmental or like he needs space. You can't fully read his expression, but nothing about the way he's looking at you feels unkind. "I only mentioned it to be honest, I don't like the idea of keeping se--"

He pulls on your arm again, this time his hold a little firmer. You're closer now. Felix's other hand finds your hip, anchoring you in place. You're too confused to do anything but blink at him.

Felix lets go of your arm, fingers finding their way beneath your chin. He angles your head so that all of your attention is on him. Your lips part, a half thought out question is on the tip of your tongue when Felix leans towards you. His lips meet yours.

You're still, shock and something a lot more electric rendering you in capable of anything else. This isn't the first time Felix has pressed his lips against yours. He's affectionate, especially when drinking is involved. He'll brush his lips against yours after taking a shot together, or just because at the end of a long night. It's not an everyday thing, but it's happened from time to time.

This--this isn't that. He's lingering, lips parting so that his teeth can graze against your bottom lip. Felix pulls away just enough to look you in the eye. His thumb brushes across your cheek.

"You're my best friend." Felix's words are so urging, so pleading you nod before you can think. "Best mate. You're the--the only one that gets me. Really gets me." His hand moves to the back of your head, pulling you back to him.

Any sense of hesitance vanishes the second time he kisses you. He's all consuming, lips dragging against yours with a desperate patience that's dizzying. It's disorientating, the desire to be that much closer to someone when there's no way to get there.

Felix's hand finds your back. He pushes you towards him. There's no good way to oblige. You try anyway, shifting your weight back onto your knees. Felix pulls you forward by your waist. You're too focused on him to realize what's happening until you're on his lap.

He takes his time letting you go, teeth tugging on your bottom lip. "I trust you more than anyone." Felix leans back in, placing a quick kiss against your lips. "You're not replaceable." He squeezes your shoulder. "You know that, right?"

Still breathless, you nod. He's watching you with so much patience, so much care it's almost hard to bare.

His thumb smooths circles against your shoulder. "Let's go to bed, yeah?"

You lift his hand off your thigh to press a kiss against the back of his palm. "Yeah, lets go to bed."

He squeezes your shoulder once before letting you go. You move off of his lap carefully.

Felix sits up enough to push his shirt off of his shoulders. Your eyes instinctually fall to his sheets. "Do you want me to get you a shirt?"

"Why? Distracted?"

You roll your eyes in an attempt to the fact that you are struggling to look at him. "Shut up."

He grins as he pulls back his sheets. "M'okay." You take the opportunity to slip beneath the layers of fabric. Felix waits until you're settled to crawl beneath the sheets. "It's warm enough, even with you stealing my blankets."

"I do not," the sentence is more of a mock gasp than anything else. Felix shifts onto his side before collapsing his weight on you. "Felix."

"What?" He rests his cheek against your chest. "This is the only way to keep you from taking my sheets."

You sigh, feigning annoyance as your fingers find his hair. "Rude. I'm a great bed sharer."

Felix lets out a partial laugh against the side of your neck. His hand finds your hip. "You are pretty great."

Your hand trails down towards his back, nails grazing against the bare skin. "You are, too."

Silence stretches between the two of you for so long you assume that he's already fallen asleep. Felix has a talent for drifting off in the blink of an eye.

"Lovie?" He whispers the term so lowly you almost convince yourself the sound is a figment of your imagination.

"Yeah?"

You can feel the shift in his breathing. "It's you and me--just you and me, when it comes down to it." His thumb brushes up and down your side. "You know that."

He relaxes as your fingers trail down the start of his spine. "Yeah. Of course I know that." A part of you feels naive for believing his words so easily. He's too adored to just be your Felix at the end of the day, and yet-- "Just you and me."

Felix leaves an open mouthed kiss against collarbone. It's the kind of warm that leaves goosebumps breaking out everywhere the contact can't be felt. "Good."

----

taglist; @vader-is-hot @spiritofbuddha @getosangie @freyafriggafrey @ilovehyperfixating @aryiannarae @willowpains @ker0senebunny

#saltburn x reader #saltburn imagine #felix catton x reader #felix catton #bestfriendfelix #jacob elordi #jacob elordi x reader

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springseasonie · 1 year

Text

Hate me more | LMH (M)

Enemies to lovers, Camp counselors Mark x Fem reader

Summary: You really dislike Mark and you're pretty sure he dislikes you too. Ever since he came to the camp last year, he's been nothing short of a headache to you. And now you're forced to work with him this summer, and his mission is clearly to piss you off.

Warnings: sexual content, heavy dubcon/cnc themes, unprotected sex, oral (fem receiving), kissing (shocker), Mark is annoying, so is the reader tbh, may be errors even though proof read

Word count: 7,7k

Song recs: kiss by NCT dojaejung (this is my way of promoting the unit go stream)

A/N: I was gonna write something for the release of golden hour but this took a bit longer than expected 😭 10 days later an I finally finished it lmao please give feedback if you want it's always appreciated

"Okay kiddos make sure you have all your things before we go back to the cabins okay?"

"Yes Ms. Y/N!"

You gave them a thumbs up as you leaned on a tree, waiting for all the kids to pack up. This was your life every summer for the past 4 years. Being a camp counselor was a lot of work the first time, but by the end of the summer, you had to come back. You loved your kids and they loved you. The staff was always so welcoming and nice. That was true until Mark started the third summer.

He was such an asshole. All the other female counselors gushed over him and his looks. He was constantly flirting with everyone, using his looks and charisma to get himself out of shit. It annoyed you, and Mark instantly took notice. He would side eye you all the time and talk about you as if you weren't friends with everyone else. He didn't really care though, he enjoyed being confronted by you every time he got "caught." Mark found your anger funny, never really taking you seriously.

And now you're paired to work with him this summer.

"Ms. Y/N, where is Mr. Mark? I need help getting something out a tree," one of the kids asked.

"That's a good question honey." You glanced around the area, looking over both shoulders to try and get a sign of him. And of course, he's nowhere to be found. "I don't see him around. We're just gonna have to wait for him okay?"

The little girl nods and runs back to her friends. Ten minutes go by and you start to get annoyed. This happened way more often than you would like to think. Mark disappears to do something or someone for way too long and you're left to take care of the kids by yourself. Sometimes, you almost think it's unbelievable how unreliable he is, sneaking away leaving you alone with 20 children in a forest. But then again, it's on brand for him.

5 more minutes went by and you start to get frustrated. You have no idea what he could be doing that's going to cause all of you to be late for dinner time. "Okay everyone please listen to me okay?" All the kids stop talking and turn to you. "I'm gonna go look for Mr. Mark, but I need all of you to sit in 5 rows of 4. Now." All the kids practically run to sit next to their friends and plop down on the floor.

"Good. None of you move or get up. If anything happens, scream at the top of your lungs okay? I'll be right back." All of the kids agreed as you turned to walk into the forest, going the way you last saw him.

"So fucking irresponsible," you muttered to yourself. "How the hell am I supposed to watch 20 kids by myself?"

You could still hear the kids, so you know you weren't too far away from the area or the trail. This wasn't new for you, always looking for him. It's only been a month since the both of you had to start working together, and he was already making shit hard for you. Mark liked to go hide somewhere. it was either to get away from you, the kids, or to get blown off by some staff member. You couldn't stand it.

"I mean seriously, can't he control himself for one fucking summer," you grumble. "Fucks everything that walks. What an ass."

"Well I wouldn't say that."

Your body jumped violently suddenly hearing his voice next to you. You whipped your head in his direction seeing him sitting, leaning in a tree. Mark had his ear buds in and from where you were standing, you could still hear the music playing.

"Where the hell were you," you asked angrily.

Mark stood up and dusted his pants off as he walked to you. You crossed your eyes, eyeing him up and down. He was so smug about everything. He always looked like something was amusing to him, like there was always a joke to tell.

"Here," he said.

"Clearly. And how the hell do you even have a working phone out here. There is literally no service."

Mark shrugged, wrapping the ear buds around his phone and putting it in his back pocket. "I downloaded stuff before I came."

"Whatever, let's go," you said, rolling your eyes.

"Where are the kids," he asked you, placing his hands in his pockets as he walked.

"In the same place I left them. I had to come get you like you were a lost child. Stop leaving me with all these kids."

Mark smiled in amusement as he walked behind you. You didn't really notice, but you tend to stomp when you are angry. And fortunately for Mark, it wasn't annoying. He actually found it cute, but he wouldn't tell you that.

"Can we take a break? My legs hurt," he whined teasingly.

"Mark, stop playing games. We have 20 kids in the forest waiting for us to come back and the sun will start setting soon," you replied, sighing heavily.

"Oh please we'll be okay."

And at this moment, you've just about had it with him. You turned around, lips pursed at his nonchalant response. Mark stopped in his tracks, looking up at you as you stood on the top of the small hill. "You have one more time to piss me off or I will report you. I'm not joking."

Mark's amused expression washed away as you turned around and kept walking. For the rest of the walk back, he said nothing. Soon enough, the both of you got back to the kids who were still sitting and chatting.

You sighed, groaning quietly. "I'm gonna do another headcount. You get that thing out of the tree."

"Why couldn't you just do it," he complained.

"Because- you know what, just get it out the tree."

You counted all of the kids, double and triple checking everyone and the area around you. Soon enough, Mark got the toy that was stuck in the tree out, and everyone was ready to leave. "Okay everyone you know the drill. Get your buddy and get in line. Mark, you'll watch the back."

"Didn't sound like a question," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"I wasn't asking."

"I swear to you I will kill him if I'm ever alone with him again."

"He's really not that bad," Somi said, taking another bite of her pancake.

"Please, bad is an understatement," you say as you sit down. "He fucking left me with 20 kids, and then when we got back and I told him how dangerous that was, he says 'but you handled it, right?'"

Somi laughs, clearly amused at your story. You give her a confused look, not understanding why she wasn't siding with you. "Y/N, anything he says makes you angry."

"That's not the point!" Somi stops laughing when she sees how upset you are. "He left me and 20 kids in the forest near sunset to sit on his ass and listen to music. Then got an attitude with me because I was telling him what do when he wanted to act like a fucking child. I'm tired of it, Somi. I've been dealing with this for a month."

"Shit, I didn't think it was that serious," she said, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly.

"We literally could've had a bear encounter or something. I don't want to keep taking responsibility for his shit," you say, sighing heavily. "Anyways, I'm done complaining. Let's just eat."

You went to bed last night still completely angry at what happened in the forest. Mark didn't say anything to you walking back, but your conversation once you got back to the main camp was nothing short of unpleasant. It consisted of all your usual unpleasantries with him. Mark didn't really seem to care much though. You hated that you always let him get a rise out of you once you said you weren't going to do it anymore. And at this point, you had to get to the bottom of it.

You looked around the dining hall trying to find Mark. You knew he was there, he always came late after roughhousing with the kids in his cabin. Searching around some more, you spot him in line getting food. "I see him."

"Please don't harass the man," Somi begged you.

"Too late." You got up and walked to him. You really needed all this bad energy between the both of you to disappear. You weren't too sure about him, but it made every day difficult and you couldn't deal with it all summer. "Hey buddy," you said, tapping his shoulder.

"Didn't know we were friends."

The fake smile immediately turned into a frown. "Our conversation from last night isn't finished."

Mark groaned quietly as you followed his pace in the line. "Why do you keep bothering me if you don't like me?"

"I'm not bothering you, I'm trying to figure out what your deal is," you whisper yell. You followed Mark to his usual seat with the other male counselors, taking a seat right next to him. You were too focused on him to notice the confused stares you got from everyone else.

"Um, hey Y/N," Haechan greeted you awkwardly. "Is this…your new spot?"

"I came to talk to your friend if you don't mind."

"She's crazy," Mark blurted out, making the table laugh.

You smacked him on the arm, making him turn to you with the brightest smile you've seen all summer. And for some reason this was the first time you looked at him without feeling pure irritation. He was actually pretty…cute?

You couldn't look directly in the eyes, fearing that the anger you felt all morning would go away. Instead of speaking, you got up and went back to the table with Somi.

"So..what happened," she questioned.

"Nothing."

"You don't seem too upset by it," Somi observed.

"What..what are you talking about," you said, trying to deflect.

"You can't fool me, you're terrible at lying," she laughed. Somi took another bit of her pancake, but stopped laughing, giving you a look as if she found out something. "Do you like him?"

"Keep your voice down! And don't eat with your mouth full, you look like a damn kid."

"Y/N, do you like him?"

"Of course not! I can't stand the man," you deny.

Somi squints her eyes and side eyes you, but says nothing. You know she doesn't believe you, but it doesn't really matter because either way, you don't like him. "Okay..just know that today is your day to clean the kitchen."

"I know," you said with a sigh.

"And his also," she reminded you.

"Goodness kill me now."

You and Mark cleaned the dishes in the kitchen silently, not daring to say a word. There was an unspoken rule between the 2 of you at the moment, first person to speak surrenders to the other for the entire summer. You'll never surrender to him, no matter what it takes (that's what you want to believe anyway.) Mark had been stealing glances for about 30 minutes now, watching you clean meticulously and quietly. He always thought you were pretty, except for when you were being annoying that is. He always thought of himself as the bigger person, despite his childish nature, so he thought he should end this silent game sooner than expected.

"Did you get sleep," he asked.

"Why do you care?"

"I can't be concerned about my friend," he said. Mark chuckled softly when you sucked your teeth.

"Why do you insist on pissing me off," you say, turning to him. "Like I really don't understand why you don't like me. Since you came here last year, I've been nothing short of annoyed with you."

"It's never been my intention, but I just happen to strike those emotions in some women."

"What the fuck does that mean?" You put down the dirty dishes, crossing your arms as you looked at him with a brow raised.

"It means," he replied, turning to you, "that the more women are attracted to me, the less they like me."

You scoffed, getting back to cleaning the dishes. "You wish. You're out of your fucking mind."

"If I'm crazy, then what exactly was that earlier," he asked. You didn't know, but Mark definitely noticed how you backed off of him during breakfast. The way your expression changed, how quick you got up. It almost seemed like you were running from something, and he knew exactly what it was. "I know you like me."

"I don't like you. I just didn't want to talk to you in front of all your friends. They were laughing at me, so I left," you explained. Mark took two steps to you, his body ending up close to yours. You backed up a bit, not understanding why he was close to you, but he followed you again. "What are you doing?"

"Testing something out," he said simply.

"Look I don't know what you're testing but I'm busy. " Just as you moved away from him, he placed his arms beside you, trapping you under him. The both of you have never been this close before. Sure there were times where he had to catch you or hold you for activities in the forest, but there was nothing like this. This was close. This was personal.

"What are you doing," you asked, shock written all over your face.

"Standing here." Mark's lips curled into a smirk as his eyelids dropped once glancing at your lips. "You're pretty."

"Thank you but I really need to-"

"You know," he started,"you never told me what you wanted to talk about before you left the table."

You sighed, making a dramatic pained expression. "Mark, please. Can you back up?"

"No."

You looked up at him, surprised that his face was closer than before. One more move and your lips would've probably touched his. 'Why am I even thinking about that right now,' you thought to yourself.

"I know you wanna kiss me," he said almost in a whisper. Mark chuckled softly seeing the frazzled look on your face. You were so easy to read, always saying you didn't like him knowing damn well you wanted him. He just wanted to make you say it. He wanted to break your prideful attitude down and make you beg for him.

"You are saying insane things right now." You couldn't even look him in the eye, too afraid you would melt under his body. He was too close. You couldn't control your heart beat or your whirling mind. 'Maybe kissing him wouldn't be so bad,' you thought to yourself, but pushed the thought to the back of your head.

"But you didn't say I was wrong," he said, leaning into your neck.

"Mark, seriously." The slight whine in your voice made you want to run and hide from everyone. You felt like you were going to collapse into his hands the closer he got. His voice was so soft, but his presence was still so dominating. It was almost too much for you to bear.

"What would you do if I kissed you right now," he whispered in your ear, a smile on his face. "Would you push me away, take it and get mad, or maybe give me another one?"

You could barely look at him, let alone speak. You had no idea how to respond to him. You didn't even know if you were supposed to. But what you did know is that if he made one more move or said anything else, you would most likely lose your mind. "Mark, it's too early in the morning for this," you said practically begging him to stop.

Mark released his hand from the counter, placing it on your waist. His grip was firm as he pressed you against the counter more, body so close his leg was between yours. "You're not even trying to run at this point. You little liar."

"Mark..what if someone comes in here?"

"Let them. Why do you care? Are you scared," he teased. Mark kissed the spot behind your ear softly, making you gasp. Your body tensed up in his hand, causing him to rub small circles in your waist in an attempt to comfort you. He kept missing down your neck, moving back up to kiss your jawline.

You stood there, still as a tree. Your eyes fluttered shut, taking in the feeling of his lips on your skin. At this rate there was no point in fighting it. He had already won like he did with everyone else. You felt Mark's hand leave your waist, grabbing your chin as he ran his finger down your bottom lip.

"If you want me to stop I will."

You shook your head unconsciously, brows slightly frowning at his words. You were desperate and he definitely knew from the way you were frozen and speechless.

"Good girl." Mark kissed you softly, but deeply. His hand slowly made its way to the back of your neck, pulling you closer to him. You dare to touch him, feeling like it was way too intimate. But before you could even pull away, he kissed you again, this time with even more sincerity. You didn't know why you had such a heavy feeling in your chest, but it did scare you a little bit.

"We have to finish all of this stuff in 15 minutes. You think we can make it," he asked on your lips.

"If you stop fast enough, maybe.."

Mark chuckled softly at your response, pulling away from you. He was clearly extremely turned on, but you were not the kind to help him with his problem, and he knew that. But that didn't stop his mind from drifting, thinking about how hot it would be if you dropped to your knees at this very moment.

"Wasn't that fun Y/N?"

"What are you talking about," you said, covering your face in embarrassment.

"Unwinding instead of having a stick up your ass," he jabbed.

You dropped your hands, scoffing at him. You shoved your way out of his arms, walking to the sink he was at previously. "Gosh, you're so annoying," you mumbled as you scrubbed the dirty plates.

"Yeah but you like it though."

"You wish."

"Proved my point."

You and Mark haven't spoken since the kitchen fiasco. You said a couple of words to each other when it came to the kids, but nothing more than that. You couldn't even look at him, the shame filling your body once he came into your vision. But one thing was for sure- you definitely didn't hate him as much. You were still very confused. You didn't understand where all those feelings came from for Mark in the kitchen. Maybe your subconscious? It didn't really matter, you just wanted to make sense of everything.

"Okay everyone, tonight is movie night so we need to leave a little early okay," you announced.

Mark leaned on a tree silently watching you as you interacted with the kids. You didn't know that he had conflicting feelings as well. All the teasing and messing around turning into sexual tension was not what he hoped for. He just wanted to mess with you. He wasn't actually going to kiss you for real, but when he saw the desperate scrunch of your eyebrows, how could he resist himself? If it weren't for the kids, he would definitely have his way with you right on the ground, but nothing in his life ever works right.

Mark admired the way you were with them, always so nice and careful. You were careful with anything really, never wanting to come off as irresponsible or rude. But he never cared about any of that. He didn't care if people thought he was a prick or an ass, which is why you were so intriguing to him. He never got a chance to actually introduce himself to you before you can dislike him as easily as you did.

After 20 minutes of walking back to the main site, the sun had finally set and all the kids and counselors went back to their respective cabins before going to the lake for movie night.

"So you're telling me," Somi started,"after all these months of not liking him, he came onto you in the kitchen and you didn't refuse?"

"I know, I know it's humiliating," you grumbled putting on your shirt.

"Enemies to lovers. My favorite trope."

You let out a loud embarrassed groan listen to her words. "We only kissed twice. We didn't say anything to each other for the rest of the day," you added.

"Not even for your group," she questioned.

"Well of course we did, but very little. He was..so distant," you said. You slipped into your jean shorts and put your shoes back on quickly. "I'm gonna go make sure all the girls are ready." You got up and walked outside to see everyone playing around. Just as you were about to round up your cabin, you see Mark who's talking to some of his kids. You wanted to stop staring at him, but you couldn't. You gulped as he glanced at you, giving you a small wave. "I hate him," you muttered to yourself almost as if you were trying to convince yourself it was true.

You shake your head, attempting to push what happened out of the forefront of your mind, but it's hard to do that when he's walking up to you. You turn away from his direction, hastily gathering the girls from your cabin. Just as you were about to make your way to the lake, you were tapped on the shoulder. Turning around agonizingly slowly, you face him with a fake smile.

"Hi," you said awkwardly.

"Hey, so listen-"

"I can't talk right now, we're about to head to the lake," you interrupted.

"I know but-"

"Can't talk."

Mark sighed, looking down at his shoes. He knew you were difficult, but not like this. "Can we talk after the movie?"

"Talk..about what? There's nothing to talk about," you say dismissively.

Mark rolled his eyes, walking away from you. You looked behind yourself, watching him walk back with his hands in his pockets. All that you could hope for was him forgetting whatever conversation he wanted to have with you.

Your cabin was the first to get to the lake while Mark's was the last like always. The movie started at 7, so thankfully for you, you could be left alone for 2 hours. You leaned against a tree as you watched the movie projected on the sheet quietly.

Unlike you, Mark was watching you silently, eyes never leaving your body as you stared at the screen. He knew you wanted nothing to do with him even after he kissed you, but he wasn't going to let that stop him. He's never been in a situation like this before. Having to chase after you was starting to dampen his pride, but he liked it.

He watched as you whispered to Somi about something, not able to read your lips. Maybe he shouldn't have thought to follow you as you walked away from everyone, but getting to be alone with you came rare, so he had to take his chances.

"Hey, I'm gonna go back to the cabin. I forgot something," he whispered to Haechan.

"Okay, be quick though. I don't wanna be responsible for you," he replied.

Mark gave him a dry laugh and walked away, following you from behind. Mark picked up that you were going to your cabin after a few turns on the trail. The sun was starting to set, so he began to rationalize he weird actions to himself. "It's not weird that I'm following her," he muttered to himself quietly. "I'm just keeping her safe." It was surprising how you didn't notice anyone was following you. You were usually always attentive, but it seems that you were only that way with other people.

Soon enough, the both of you made it to your cabin. You went inside with a big sigh, letting the door slam behind you. Mark would be a kind person and knock on the doors but he wasn't all that kind, so scaring you is the option he went with. Mark quickly went up to the door, opening it quietly. Your back was turned as you rummaged through a bag for something, causing you to not hear his footsteps or the door creaking open.

"Boo!"

"Fuck," yelled, body jumping violently as you turned around. "Mark?"

"Surprise."

You scoffed rolling your eyes at his jazz hands motion. "You're not funny. Now get out, this is a girls cabin."

"I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to talk." He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms as you went back to looking for whatever you were looking for.

"I really don't care, just leave," you said sternly.

Mark had enough of beating around the bush with you, the constant teasing, and asking dumb questions. He had to know why there was bad blood between you, especially after you let him kiss you that morning. "Why don't you like me?"

"You're kidding." You let out a dry laugh as you turned to face him. "I don't like you? I'm pretty sure it's the other way around."

"I'm just curious because since last year, you never gave me a chance, so I really want to know," he said, lifting his brows with a small smile.

"I want you to tell me why you don't like me first, then maybe I'll consider explaining myself to you."

Mark took small steps towards you, not being able to control the smirk on his face when you furrow your brows in confusion. "You're uptight and rude to me. And you never give me your attention unless it's to be rude with me, and I hate that that's the only way I get to talk to you. You only want to speak to me if it's to tell me how bad of a job I'm doing or how frustrating it is to be around me or work with me."

"That's not true, I-"

"I'm not done." You closed your mouth, intimidated by how commanding his voice was. "Then you go around and say to everyone how much you hate me. I know you complain to Somi and all the other counselors, and that's fine. But next time I would like to hear it from you directly."

"That I hate you?" You gave him a weird look, making him chuckle softly.

"Yes. Tell me that you hate me." He was walking closer to you slowly, arms now at his sides as he looked down at you with hungry eyes. Your arms were still crossed as you stood there, not allowing yourself to show how intimidating he was to you. Your face was calm, but your heart was beating faster with every step he took.

"I'm not telling you I hate you. Can I talk now," you asked.

"Go for it."

"You're fucking annoying and not helpful. You came into this camp last year and made all these friends and everyone liked you instantly. Everyone says you're funny and such a great guy but I have yet to see it. All you've done since you've been here was piss me off."

"You wanna know why," he said. He leaned down to your ear, a smile tugging at his lips. "Because you're pretty when you're angry."

"That's not funny," you said, looking away from him.

"I wasn't joking." Mark moved away from you, eyes going straight to your lips.

"Seriously mark, I don't care that you like to get me riled up, but yesterday was uncalled for. Do you have any idea…will you stop staring at me like that?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Mark could barely concentrate on what you were saying. Your expression, the way you spoke, how close the 2 of you were. All he wanted was to just kiss you and shut you up for the night. Mark could barely keep his hands off you, every bit of self restraint coursing through his veins.

You sighed trying to back up from him, but all you did was bump the edge of your bed making you fall back. You plopped on the thin mattress placing your hand behind you to stay balanced on the bed. Mark's gaze turned dangerous, staring at you as if you were prey.

"God you're so hot," he mumbled.

"Mark," you said, his name coming out a bit breathlessly.

Before you could finish your sentence, he pinned your body to the bed. You were dead silent as you watched his eyes move rapidly along your face and body. "Mark..we can't. We have to be back soon."

"Stop fighting it. Just say you want me," he mumbled quietly. He leaned into your neck, breath tickling your skin as you closed your eyes.

You shook your head, brows furrowing as you tried to push the feeling to the back of your head. But the only thing you can think about is how his hands are leaving your wrists as he moves them down your body. Your breath hitched when his fingertips brushed against the slightly exposed skin of your stomach. You didn't stop him as he lifted your shirt, hands attaching to waist firmly.

The both of you stayed silent, the only thing that could be heard was the sound of breathing and your old bed creaking at every movement he made. You watched him as he moved his hands lower, fingers resting on the button of your jean shorts. Mark looked at you for any signs of you wanting to stop, but all he saw was the desperation on your face.

You gulped watching him unbutton and unzip your shorts, lifting your hips as he tugged them off you. Mark took his shirt off, laying it next to your shorts. He hooked his fingers on your underwear, pulling them off you quickly. You let out a small yelp when he tugs you towards him, throwing your leg over his shoulder as he moves between your legs.

'Just get on with it,' was all you could think. You were way too eager to get him between your legs, and at this point, nothing was going to stop it. "Hurry up," you said, breaking the long silence.

Mark didn't say anything or look at you, all he did was smile as his face disappeared between your legs. A small gasp of please leaves your lips as he kitten licks your core. You close your eyes, letting your head fall back onto the mattress taking in every movement. He ran his hand up and down your leg, nails lightly scratching your skin making you shiver. Needing more friction, you begin to grind yourself on his tongue slowly, but he stops you with a hold on your hips.

"We're gonna do this nice and slow okay," he said.

"We can't, we have to get back soon."

"They'll be okay. There's more than enough people out there." Before you could say anything his mouth was back on your core, tongue pressing against your sensitive bud hard. Without thinking your hands made their way to his hair, fingers running through the blonde locks. Mark kept licking at you agonizingly slow, chuckling when you whined for more. He would speed up at moments, flicking his tongue against your clit faster just to tease you, then stop.

"Please," you begged breathlessly, "it feels like I'm being punished."

"I know," he mumbled.

You smacked him on the side of his head softly, making the male look up at you with a brow raised. "I fucking hate you."

Mark chuckled, removing one of his hands from your hip. He didn't take his eyes off of you as he slid two fingers into you, pumping them slowly. Mark watched as you basically fell apart in his hands, moans never stopped spilling from your lips. He began licking your clit, but faster, almost sending you over the edge.

"Shit, don't stop," you whined softly. You couldn't control your hips as you grinded against his fingers and tongue. Your jaw dropped when he fingered you faster. Gripping his hair, your hips moved on their own as you grinded faster. You were so close, your core pulsing on his fingers. "Fuck I'm gonna cum," you whined.

Your whines became louder, the pornographic sounds of your moaning, bed creaking, and sounds coming from Mark filling the empty cabin. This is one the many times you thanked God no one was around. Your eyes rolled back and body shuddered as your orgasm hit you like a truck making you mumble curses that not even Mark could make out. You let go of his hair, plopping back down on your mattress breathing heavily.

"I'm assuming that was the first time you came in a month?" Mark slid his fingers out of you slowly, wiping the digits on your sheets. He moved your leg off his shoulder, lifting himself from between your legs.

"Do you think I'm getting myself off after hiking and being around kids in this damn camp everyday," you asked, rolling your eyes at his statement.

"No. I think you're too uptight to do that," he said with a soft chuckle.

"It's crazy that you're still calling me uptight like I won't get up and leave."

Mark didn't respond to you, laughing softly to himself knowing you wouldn't move either way. He moved off the bed untying his sweats. You watched him as he let his clothes fall to the ground, eyeing his body. Not that you couldn't get it before, but now you see why he was a big deal to the other female counselors.

"Aren't we gonna use protection," you asked, gulping when he was back in front of you.

"I don't have any," he mumbled.

"You're so fucking ridiculous," you grumbled. "You're lucky I'm on birth control."

Mark could barely hear you with how eager he was to see you lose yourself for him. No amount of mean words or insults could turn him off in the moment, every word you spoke sounded like exactly what he needed to hear. "You're so fucking hot when you're mad." His lids dropped as he grabbed your ankles, pulling you closer to him.

"Don't tease, we don't have all night," you whined.

Mark couldn't take his eyes off you as he lined himself with you, slowly entering you with ease. You looked pretty under the light of the setting sun peering through the window. The light hit your eyes perfectly as they rolled back, soft moans leaving your lips at the same time. Mark thrusted into you slowly holding your waist firmly. He wanted to savor the moment, finally able to get you under him, because even though he had you now, he might not ever get you again. It was taking everything in him to not ram into you after every move not wanting it to end too quickly.

With the way he was looking at you you thought he was gonna eat you alive. And in all honesty you would let him. It was conflicting to you that all this pent up aggression towards him exploded into sex, but you were clearly not that conflicted. You would never tell him, but you had always been attracted to him and the kiss was just the tip of the iceberg.

He slid his hands up the back of your legs, pinning them to your chest as he thrusted into you faster. Your moans echoed in the empty cabin, not even thinking about if anyone could be near. "Feels so good," you moaned.

"Who's making you feel good?"

"Fuck..you are," you whined, eyes fluttering shut as you take in pleasure.

"Good girl," he cooed. Mark watched as you slipped your hand between your legs, rubbing your clit at the same place as his thrust. His fingers were constantly kneading your legs, leaving prints in your skin. "You're close aren't you baby?"

You nodded fast, looking at him with desperate eyes. "Kiss me.. please."

Mark didn't have to think twice. He leaned down, capturing your lips in a heated kiss quite literally sticking his tongue down your throat. You sucked on the wet muscle, moaning loudly on his tongue every time he thrusted into you.

"Mark..fuck," you moaned softly. Mark took a hand off your leg, wrapping an arm on the small of your back pulling you closer to him. You kissed him again, moans and whimpers poured into his mouth.

Mark moaned softly against your lips as you squeezed around him, cumming on his length. You pulled away, your lewd sounds becoming louder as he didn't stop fucking you. Mark leaned down, kissing your neck messily as you clung onto his shoulder. Mark has never had this kind of passionate feeling with a person before. It was starting to feel like more than just a sexual attraction to him, maybe he did actually have feelings for you.

"Cum in me," you said cupping his face.

Mark looked at you, brows furrowing in uncertainty. "A-are you sure? I-"

"Please baby just cum for me," you mumbled, completely taken over by the pleasure spreading in your body. "Can you do that for me?"

"Anything for you," Mark breathed out. Your words went straight to his length, his pace speeding up as he felt himself closer to cumming.

Your jaw went slack, eyes rolling back as you felt another orgasm creeping up on you. "Y-you're gonna make me cum," you whimpered.

With just a few more thrust, both you and Mark came at the same time, loud moans and groans filling the space. Mark's body went limp, laying on top of you with his face buried on the side of your neck. No one said anything for a minute, just laid there in each other's embrace trying to catch your breaths.

"I guess you don't hate me after all," Mark joked, breaking the silence.

"Only a little less."

Mark snickered as pulled himself out of you slowly. "Let's get you something to clean up with." He got up and pulled his boxers and pants on. You were sure it was because you just had sex with him, but the way you looked at him was different now. Before you were completely annoyed by his presence, but now even the little faces he made were endearing. Of course, Mark would never stop being an infuriating person to talk to but maybe you like talking to him. Maybe you liked being around him this whole time.

"If you want to go for round 2 just say it." Mark walked back to you with tissues, handing them to you with a smile. He chuckled softly when you gave him a frown for his comment. "Back to hating me I guess."

"I don't hate you Mark," you admit. The words felt unnatural to you, but they were the truth. You don't hate him, and you don't think you ever did.

"I'd like it if you did though," he said, sitting on the edge of your bed. "If what we just did considered hate fucking, please hate me more."

You rolled your eyes, tossing the dirty tissues in the trash bin across the room. "Who said it was gonna happen again?" Mark watched you closely as you shimmied back into your underwear and shorts. "What? Is there something on my face?"

"Yeah." He stood up, pulling you to him, making you gasp softly. Mark kissed you deeply, smiling against your lips when you kissed him back. "We should get back. I think we've been gone too long," he mumbled.

You nodded, kissing him one more time before he pulled away from you agonizingly slow. "Please don't be weird when we get back. I don't want to have to hate you again," you joked.

"Didn't I just tell you I want you to hate me more?"

"What do you mean you fucked him last night," Somi whisper yelled.

"Yeah..I did..right on the bed you're sitting on."

"Ew ew ew." She shot up from your bed with a frown on her face, making you laugh loudly. "Seriously what is wrong with you, why didn't you say that before I sat down?"

"Thought your reaction would be funny, and it was," you'd aid giggling.

Somi looked at you with disgust on her face, dusting off her body. "Anyways…are you guys like..a thing now?"

"I don't know. I don't think so," you answered.

"Well do you wanna be a thing?"

"Well..I think I do," you admitted. "But I don't know him that well, you know. All I did was have sex with him. What if he doesn't want anything," you said.

"You want me to be honest?"

"Please do."

"I think you should go talk to him. Like right now," she suggested.

"Now? I don't even know if he's in his cabin," you stated.

"Just go. If he's not there, go back another time. You should talk to him while your feelings are still fresh," she suggested.

Somi was right. Even though you thought it was still a bit early to talk to him, you couldn't stop thinking about him all day and all night. Throughout the day, the both of you kept stealing glances, staring at each other but not saying a word. It's been hard trying to keep your bubbling feelings for him at bay, especially when you're working so close for the summer. But Somi was right, it wouldn't hurt to try.

You nodded, sighing softly. "You're right. I should go." You turned walking to the door, but when you opened it, Mark was standing there, hand up like he was about to knock.

"Oh," you said, surprised. "Hi."

"Hey," he said, looking everywhere but at you. "Can I, um, talk to you?"

"Uh, yeah. You wanna talk here or.."

"Just walk with me. Please?" You've never seen him so nervous or unsure before. It was kind of cute. You agreed, leaving the cabin and walking along the trail with Mark.

The first couple of minutes were silent. Neither one of you said anything. The only thing that could be heard were the sounds of your feet on the dirt trial and the laughter of children from afar. But it wasn't an awkward kind of silence. It felt comfortable, he felt comfortable and warm.

"I really like you Y/N," he started. "And I know it might be weird for you, but I just felt like you had to hear it."

His words went straight to your heart, making it beat faster with every syllable. You blinked fast, not really knowing how to respond. You were afraid of coming into him too strongly, saying something that would scare him away, but you had to say something.

"I..like you too," you confessed. Your face was beginning to heat up, palms becoming clammy from the nervousness. You haven't been like this since middle school, all shy and nervous.

"So..where should we go from here?" Mark raised a brow and looked at you. You glanced at him quick enough to not want to run away from the situation all together. He grabbed your hand, making you pause mid step. Your heart was beating so fast you could hear it at this point, and you were sure he could too.

"I, uh, I don't know," you stuttered.

Mark chuckled, clasping his fingers with yours. "I've never seen you so nervous."

"I'm not nervous." You don't know who exactly you were trying to prove that too, but it definitely wasn't him because as soon as you spoke he laughed.

"I think we should start over this summer," he said. "I think we should meet each other for the first time again."

You looked at him confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," he started, turning to you. He stopped walking and tugged your hand to look at him. "I mean we should start again from a clean slate. I want to get to know you better on a good note, but only if you're willing."

You gulped looking down at your feet. You must've looked like a kid with the way mark was smiling down at you. "I..I would like that. I'd like that a lot actually." You looked at him, expression going from shy to worriedm. "I'm sorry for y'know being rude and everything."

Mark didn't say anything, allowing your words to linger for a moment before he leaned down and kissed you. The kiss was softer this time, more innocent. Mark pulled away with a small smile on his face. "You don't have to apologize to me for anything. I know I've been an ass, and I'm willing to make up for it."

It was hard to keep a smile off your face and stop yourself from blushing like a kid. "If we do this, will you stop talking to me once we're out of here," you asked.

"Y/N when I said I liked you I was serious. I don't want this to be a summer fling. I actually want to get to know you before I date you," he explained.

Your eyes went wide, completely flustered from his statement. "You want to date me?" Your heart fluttered repeating his words almost immediately, getting butterflies in your stomach. "But I've been so terrible to you and-"

"So? We like each other and we should explore that this summer."

You nodded, a smile tugging at your lips. You let go of his hand and placed it on the back of his neck, kissing him. This was the first time you kissed him. And it felt good. It felt good knowing that you didn't have to keep trying to convince yourself you didn't like him, or that you were never attracted to him. You pulled away, eyes never leaving the man in front of you. You didn't know if this conversation would make a difference for the rest of the day or the rest of the summers, but if Mark was true to a hate he said, you could wait.

But if not, then maybe you just might hate him for real.

#nct dream #nct #nct 127 #nct u #nct fanfic #nct smut #nct x reader #nct oneshot #mark #nct mark #mark scenarios #mark x reader #mark fanfic #mark smut #nct scenarios #mark oneshot

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woozvc · 2 months

Text

call you tonight

final (part XIX)

w/c - 1.6k + smau at the end

a/n - and this is it! after so long call you tonight has officially come to an end. I hope the last part of this clears up the eunwoo situation (reading your replies and theories made my day😭😭) and i hope this is an ending you can be satisfied with. thank you so much for all your love and patience on this series. it truly means a lot that you guys stuck around till the end even with my terrible posting schedule 🫶

previous / masterlist

this is it. this is the day.

the event started 20 minutes ago and till now, it's been a success. the auditorium is filled with laughter and dancing, courtesy of jihoons playlists.

you're currently standing at a corner just observing the entire place. a part of you feels at peace that this is finally over, the results will be out today and this is it. a part of you is also shit scared. the past few days have been a rollercoaster.

seungcheols words keep echoing in your head about how you're still important to him and he's changed. you really want to believe him. you really want to give him a-

“hey are you okay?”

you wake out of your trace by jihoons voice.

“yeah I'm fine”

“you seen a bit…distracted” he hands you a cup of lemonade. you take it with a small smile and shrug his comment off. no need to reply when he's right?

“how do you feel, you know, about your performance and all?” you look at him. he shakes his head

“I don't know. all of this feels unreal. I never thought I'd have to perform that too dance but here we are”

“doesn't it scare you?”

“obviously it does, but I find some comfort in it too. maybe it's the fact that a part of me believes taking this chance could end really well. maybe I'll finally let go of my past fears and just let myself be in the moment once.”

“hah.. that sounds nice.”

“yea I guess so. I think whatever happens tonight, I just hope I don't regret it. I want to take that risk”

you open your mouth to reply but you're interrupted by hoshis voice calling jihoon. he gives you a small smile and walks away.

right. regret. don't regret tonight. you decide to leave your spot in the corner when you see hansol walk in. being with a friend is better than being alone.

so jihoon is an amazing dancer. you were mesmerized, truly. his moves are fluid and his body doesn't miss a single beat. obviously hoshi is amazing too. his sharp and timed movements make him look like he was born for the stage.

the song is also amazing. jihoon later revealed it was called “bring it”. you'll definitely tell him to record it and send it to you.

the auditorium is a bit loud now. one hour till new year and the presidential results are about to be announced. you avoided seungcheol all night today. reason? you don't really know.

maybe you know mentally a part of you won't be able to handle his teasing if he wins. it's all friendly of course, but it doesn't change the fact you really, really want to win.

“hey y/n ready for the results?” jeonghan nudges into you and you push him off with an annoyed whine.

“jeonghan I swear if I don't win you'll have to wipe my tears”

“I won't mind that because I'll be winning”

“this is important to you huh?”

“it's my one shot to prove I'm actually good at something, can't fuck this one up”

“you dont have to prove yourself to anyone you know?”

“this is for me. I need this to tell myself I'm better than I think. I'm done always being known as the problem kid. and who knows maybe this will get me some street cred?” he winks and walks back to his group, knowing if he kept speaking, he would say something something sad and make you feel more stressed than you already do. you'd probably scold him for being so self deprecating too. your eyes follow him walking back and

oh.

seungcheol is looking directly at you. his gaze burning deep into you. you look away quickly, taking a deep breath to calm yourself. the music in the room slowly fades out.

“okay ladies and gentlemen are we ready for the most awaited moment of today?” seungkwans voice echos through the room and so does the cheering of the students.

“honestly? I'm not shocked at the result. I'm so proud of everyone who participated and made it this far. just know all of you are amazing and we as the student council and the teachers love your dedication. so first of all here are the names of the people who made it to the finals”

he starts reading off the list. there's your name and eunwoos name. after a few students he announces jeonghans name and….thats it? what?

this is surely a mistake and the entire auditorium feels so. there's chattering and confused looks all around

“ah yes, there's only 9 participants now. choi seungcheol removed his name because of some unavoidable circumstances so we divided all his votes to all the others”

your head shoots in seungcheols direction. you look at him confused and he smiles at you. he motions you to stay where you are for now. this can't be real? he can't just remove his name?

hansol taps your shoulder and tells you to focus on the stage. you look back at the stage, realizing you completely missed seungkwans dramatic speach on how much he waited for the results etc etc.

“and so, svtct, your student council president is…..y/n!”

there's screaming in the auditorium but this place has never felt so quiet. your legs are numb and your hearing is fucked. you…won? you actually did it?

“y/n go to the stage!!” jeonghan pushes you from the crowd towards the stage. you want to say something to him. you want to apologize for winning to him but

he's smiling so wide.

his eyes are genuine. he's genuinely happy you won. “don't worry about me, my favorite cousin’s win is my win” he grabs your hand and takes you to the stage.

seungkwan helps your walk onto the stage where the teachers are standing to give you your certificate and badge. you receive it, saying a small thank you to the teachers presenting and seungkwan hands you the mic

“any words president?”

any words? what the fuck even are words? you stare at the mic then back at seungkwan. you're glad you've been friends with him for so long that even without words, understands and nods at you

“I think our president wants to save the speach for during school hours to not bore us.. well I hope my speach was dramatic enough, wonwoo I'm looking at you. there's 30 minutes till new years so till then…enjoy!” he looks at jihoon to restart the music and when it does, all the eyes on you slowly move away as seungkwan leads you to the teachers.

they all congratulate you and praise you. after a while one teacher asks

“so who's going to be your vice?”

“jeonghan” there's no hesitation in your voice. the teachers seemed shocked, a bit put off too but they don't question it. they tell you good luck and let you go back to the crowd.

you stand near the stage for a bit. letting it all sink in. all these months of work, all the effort and everything worked out. even the banter with seungcheol worked- right. seungcheol.

you run back to try and find him when eunwoo bumps into you.

“hey y/n! congratulations there's no one who deserves it more than you” he gives you a smile and pat on your shoulder.

“thanks eunwoo”

“are you guys busy” you hear seungcheol behind you and immediately turn to him.

“not busy at all man” eunwoo says and walks off, winking at seungcheol while seungcheol just looks at him disgusted.

“I never liked that guy”

“why did you remove your name”

“he's always given me a bad vibe”

“you wanted this so badly”

“and he keeps flirting with-”

“choi seungcheol answer me.”

you cut him off

“answer you? okay fine. first of all don't call me by my full name. I left presidency because frankly I hate the pressure. I never wanted to be captain anyway. I got forced into it because of my grades and extra curriculars.” he takes a pause to look around the room before continuing.

”i realized I was only doing this because it was expected of me. so I left it. I rejoined the track and badminton team. that's what was important to me before and I'm going to continue it now” he says and looks at you. a small smile playing on his lips.

you're speechless. you always knew seungcheol never really liked captaincy but you didn't know till what extent. you feel bad. you feel bad for the all “why aren't you working” and “why did they make you captain” comments you said to him.

“I'm sorry seungcheol”

“for what”

“for everything”

he smiles. you realize that you're seeing his dimples after so long. he's never smiled that much in front of you before. he looks pretty.

“10 seconds guys!” yells seungkwan into the microphone. seungcheol softly takes your hand and says

“y/n, I know you haven't forgiven me”

“but I have to say”

“I've been thinking a lot”

“you're too important to me”

“I think I like you, more than friends.”

“can you give me a chance?”

“happy new year!” jeonghan comes and hugs you.

you have no idea how this is going to end. you're scared, terrified of this feeling but you won't let this go. you keep your grip on seungcheols hand. slowly the student council joins the hug and the rest of your friends follow. you look around. you're surrounded by people who love you, people who care for you. what could possibly go wrong?

“yeah…I'll take the risk.”

2months later :

taglist 🔖 — (thank you to you all <3)

@minhui896 @lirtha97 @haecien @thefroggybazaar @mayashu @jeonghansshitester @wonwoos-wineparty @huening-kawaii @sp1ng @wonwootakemyheart

@ddokye @thepoopdokyeomtouched @zzenkha @nishloves @weird-bookworm @sana-is-ms-rmty @immabecreepin @amxlia-stars

@peachhiz @punkhazardlaw @lockburn-castle @asyre @luchiet @ocyeanicc @wondering-out-loud @odetoyeonjun @tamcitrus @miriamxsworld @kissesfrmwonwoo @cherr-y-eji @jeoncatsworld @youre-on-your-ownkid @addicsvt @bangantokchy @tacosandbitch @sun-daddy-yoriichi @ckline35 @rakshithanotrao @isabellah29 @mangocustard16 @lone-lone-ranger @gyuguys @writingbarnes @scarlet931 @odxrilove @wonwoobestboyy @wollycobbl3-blr

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dabislilbaby · 8 months

Text

Kenma Fluff <3

@haru-x-ren @electricnovaa

It's late when you finally make it home after a long, exhausting day. "Ken?" you called, entering the mostly dark apartment. "In here." He called back from your room. You sighed, glad that he was home, before taking off your shoes and putting your keys on the hook.

The door was cracked open and you could see faint light seeping through as you approached. You found him sitting at his computer with his headset over one ear. Not surprising. He glances at you before putting his attention back on the screen. "Hey." was all he said. You smiled softly. He never did talk very much, but you didn't mind. "Hi." you replied. He moved his hand away from his mouse to grab the bottle of water sitting to his right. As he took a sip, you leaned over and kissed his cheek. "I'm gonna take a shower."

"Okay." He set his drink back down and glanced at you one more time as you walked away from him.

He saw the bathroom door open out of his peripheral vision and it pulled his attention away from the screen for just a second. He turned his head quickly to catch another glance at you before he looked back at his game. He noticed how your hair was still slightly damp, and you were wearing one of his shirts that just barely covered past your hips. He paused his game and turned to look at you, moving his chair back a few inches. Before you walked past him, he reached his left arm out in your direction. "c'mere." he said.

You looked up from the sound of his voice. "Ken, m' tired." You mumbled, rubbing your eye with the back of your hand. "I know." He kept his arm stretched out to you and just stared, waiting for you to move closer. And after a few seconds you relented. You stepped closer to him and as soon as you were in reach, his hand held onto your waist as he pulled you into his lap. You settled yourself comfortably on his thighs and he moved his chair forward, caging you in between him and his desk. He unpaused his game and you buried your face in his neck, resting your cheek on the hood of his sweater. You felt his chest rise and fall as he took a deep breath, the smell of you shampoo filling his nose. He wasn't very good with words, but he liked when you were close to him like this.

When he'd enter a cutscene, he'd take his hand off the keyboard and rub small circles on your back, or your thigh while he listened to them talk. He wasn't surprised when he looked down to see you asleep on his shoulder, occasionally mumbling something incoherent. He smiled, and then kissed the top of your head.

A/N: I've mentioned recently that I've been in a little bit a a rut when it comes to writing 🙇🏽‍♀️ I haven't been able to find the right amount of motivation or creativity to write anything, and it's really been bugging me bc I have so many unfinished projects in my drafts that I wanna share with you guys😭 but I think this might (very much so a big maybe) have been what I needed to get me back into it. So... hopefully I'll start posting fics again🥲

P.s. I know most of you follow me for MHA content and I'm still 100% posting for the fandom, but I think I'm going to start dipping my toes into other ones as well since I've expanded the list of animes I've seen and fell in love with

🖤🖤🖤

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sugawhaaa · 10 months

Text

STRAY KIDS REACTION

You tell them your hypersexual

Pairing::ot8 x fem!hypersexual!reader

Warnings::suggestive/nothing really happens just talk of some sex

A/N:: so today is my birthday and I wanted to write smth kinda special for it and it hit me. I'm hypersexual and I can NEVER find fanfics with hypersexual readers. Maybe I'm just stoopid but I can't find any 😭😭😭

☎️Bangchan☎️

you sat in between chan's legs as you played video games together. He softly patted your head as you shared information about your games to each other. There was then a moment of silence. This was the perfect time to tell him what was on your mind.

After a year of dating bangchan you still haven't told him you're in fact hypersexual and it will definitely affect your relationship further. You took a deep breath and started to speak but bangchan had the same idea. You both started talking at the same time and both stopped at the same time. Chan giggled before telling you to "Go ahead," but you refused. "Go on, you know you can tell me anything baby," he said, kissing your head.

"It's just kind of…serious. It'd ruin the cute moment." You chuckled awkwardly.

"No dear, if you want to tell me, tell me. I'll always listen to you dear." He said with another kiss to your head. His words made your heart melt.

"Okay," you said before taking a deep breath. "I'm hypersexual…" you awaited a response from him.

"Really?" He said in his Australian accent and you nodded. "Wow, I had no idea," he giggled and you chuckled shyly. "Let me know if you ever need help um," he cleared his throat "feeling relief," he said before laughing lightly and you laughed too. "But seriously whatever you need I will help you with." He said before he snuggled his nose in the crevasse of your neck making you laugh.

🌸Lee Know🌸

"Minho," you called out his name as he practiced dancing in the dance room at the JYP building.

"Yes?" He said as he took a break to get some water and sit down.

"Can I tell you something really important…" you said as you squeezed your thighs together.

"Yeah, go for it," he said before he slurped water out of his straw.

"But take it seriously,"

"I will, I will." He reassured you as he scooted closer to you. Putting his hand on your thigh to rub it comfortingly.

"I'm hypersexual." You stated and he choked on his water. He looked up at you with wide eyes.

"Really?" Minho said as he wiped up some of the mess he made with his water. You nodded anxiously. "Are you telling me this because you're horny right now?" He said inching closer.

"W-what no!" You did not expect him to say that. He then pinned you to the floor with force.

"Don't lie~" he cooed as his lips went to your shoulder. "Your always horny for me~"

🌹Changbin🌹

"Changbin? Can I talk to you for a minute?" You said as Changbin came around the corner of the kitchen.

"Sure, what's up?" He said, setting the popcorn down on the table in front of you. He sat down next to you and felt your energy move to himself. "What's wrong sweetie? You look upset!" He said calmly as he rubbed your back.

"It's kinda stupid but-"

"No, no, nothing is stupid. If it's making you feel like this then it's Hella important to me." He stated firmly making you smile. He was like your knight in shining Armour. Always protecting you and making you feel safe.

"I'm hypersexual."

His jaw dropped into an O shape and his eyes widened. "Oh?" He thought about what you said. "We haven't even had actual sex yet?"

"Not so loud! The members are still awake!" You said covering his mouth.

"Sorry," he said before bringing his own hand to his mouth. You released your tense hands off of his mouth. "Alright, the movie can wait. Tell me everything. How does it work? How is it different from being turned on all the time? Can something trigger it? Tell me it all."

💫Hyunjin💫

You lay in Hyunjins arms after just having sex. He had been saying how much he loves you for the past, at least 20 minutes but you had yet to reply.

"Is something wrong baby?" He said before kissing your forehead and looking you in the eyes.

"I feel guilty," you said looking down, away from his eyes.

"Why?" He said innocently as he looked up at you.

"I suppose I should've told you this sooner…" you mumbled to yourself as his eyes looked at you with worry. "I'm hypersexual." You stated as you awaited an answer.

"What does that mean," he said blankly and you giggled. The energy in the room changed with such a simple reply.

"It's hard to explain with words. It's basically an uncontrollable urge to have sexual contact more than the average person and it affects you physically and mentally,"

He seemed quite intrigued by your explanation.

"Interesting…" he thought to himself "is it genetic?" He asked.

"There is not too much research on the disorder but some professionals believe it could be related or make you more prone to getting it," you explained further.

"So you don't just have it when you're born?" He seemed confused and you giggled at his expression.

"Nope, it's developed through many different things, sexually related trauma, depression, BPD, ADHD, anxiety, so on,"

Hyunjin kept asking you more and more questions to be sure he understood everything you were going through.

"I'm so happy we can talk about things like this," he smiled warmly at you as his hands played with your hair. "I love you," he said softly.

"Love you too," you said in a sleepy voice.

💋Han💋

Han held you in his arms as he peppered kisses all over your cheek but in doing so he hit one spot of your neck that was extra sensitive and you let out a croaked moan. Jisung stopped and looked up at you in shock while you just covered your face in humiliation.

"Did you like that?" He chuckled but you didn't reply. You just kept your face buried in your hands. "Babe? Is something wrong?" He said gently grasping your wrist.

"I always feel so guilty." You uttered out and Han looked at you with confusion.

"Guilty about what?" He said as he set his chin on your shoulder.

"I'm hypersexual and I just couldn't find the right time to tell you. I keep asking for you to finger me, give me oral, everything and I just feel bad for constantly turning every moment with you into sex." You confessed and Jisung was shocked.

"You never told me you were hypersexual all this time?" He said as he rubbed your arm.

"Yeah…" you sighed.

"Babe it's okay! I really don't mind, whatever my baby needs alright?" He said now stradling you and you nodded your head in response. "You have a disorder and there's not really anything you can do about it, so just relax. Whenever you want me I'm here,"

🍬Felix🍬

You and Felix had been talking about fun facts about yourselves for the past at least hour. Funny stories, facts about your parents, scars you have etc and during this entire chat you wanted to tell him you were hypersexual. See the problem is, you have no idea how he'll reply. You decided to suck it up and tell him. After he finished your story you mumbled out "Felix?"

He looked up at you with some concern considering your tone of voice "yes?" Yongbok said as he leaned closer to you with those big doe eyes of his.

"I have something kind of important to tell you," you said as you crossed your legs and faced Felix on the couch.

"O-Okay…" he seemed kind of nervous. Based on the look in his eyes he seemed to be thinking that he did something to upset you.

You took a deep breath and confessed "I'm hypersexual."

He stared back at you before a great sigh escaped his lips. "Thank god," Felix put his hand up to his chest and threw his head back. You looked at him in confusion.

"You do know hypersexuality is a disorder right?" You giggled lightly. His behavior changed the mood in the room immensely.

"Yes but I thought I did something wrong!" He shouted, making you both laugh. "But seriously it's fine. Whenever, whatever you need me I'm here," he smiled before tackling you in tickles.

✨️Seungmin✨️

"What time is it?" Seungmin questioned as he rolled over to face you. You and Seungmin had just binge watched a K-drama together and now that you're in bed neither of you can catch a wink of sleep.

"9:13" you replied and rolled over to face him. You gently pushed back his hair to look at his face fully. You placed a kiss on his forehead and in return he gave you a little :> smile.

You giggled and he asked "what? What'd I do?"

"You're just so cute," you said, pinching his cheeks softly and he grumbled. You crawled over to him and wrapped your body around his like a koala on a tree. He seemed a little shocked at your sudden movement but he snuggled right back into you, burying his face just below your shoulder. "Seungmin," you called out his name softly in the blue lit room.

"Yes baby?" He hummed.

"I know now isn't the best time but, can I tell you something?" You said as you cling to him tighter.

"Sure," he seemed unfazed, he usually is when it comes to serious talk. He takes you seriously but he just keeps a poker face 90% of the time.

"I'm hypersexual…" you said awkwardly.

"What does that mean," he chuckled a little and you giggled back and let him go to look him in the eyes.

"It's a disorder that affects me mentally and physically. It essentially makes me uncontrollably horny a lot of the time and can be triggered by the simplest of things." You explained a little shyly.

"Oh…is it painful at all?" He asked seemingly very curious.

"Kind of, you know how it feels to be edged? Like you're just about to cum and then your partner stops?" You tried to give him a good example to imagine.

"Yes. Unfortunately I do know thanks to you-"

"Haha," you fake laughed, "picture feeling like that all the time. That's how I feel," you attempted to explain.

"Oh…that's difficult." He thought to himself.

"Yeah it's frustrating," you laughed.

"I feel bad for you…" He said biting the inside of his cheek and you just shrugged. "I'll never tease you again. Anytime you want, notify me and I'll assist you,"

🧋I.N 🧋

You sat in your bath relaxing with some calming music and reading. Recently you found this new series and it's got you hooked. You peacefully watched the words dancing among the pages as the fresh scent of bubble bath filled your senses. Suddenly you heard the door swing open.

"Um hello?" You called out into the bathroom. A frightened Jeongin replied "so I may or may not have looked through your diary…" he said really fast.

"What!" You said slamming your book down.

"But that's not what's important. I found one page that said you were hypersexual!" He panicked in a cracked voice. "Do you have an STD!!!" He shouted.

"What!? Jeongin, what are you talking about?" You laughed hysterically. He opened the curtain or your bathtub to reveal his pale face.

"Did I give you an STD!?" He wailed and you laughed at him. Out of breath you hushed him.

"No, no what ever gave you that idea?" You laughed.

"The members said it was an STD!" He said pointing to your diary that was wide open.

"No, Jeongin, they're teasing you." You said with a wave of your hand.

"What…" he said with a dumbfounded expression.

"Hypersexual is a disorder I have," you chuckled as you heard the members outside the door giggling. Jeongin spun around to look at them.

"You little-!" He growled at them as they came around the corner. A mischievous collab of Lee know, Han, and Hyunjin. That's when Jeongin realized they could see your naked figure and covered you with his body. "Get out!" He shouted with a voice Crack and a red face.

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kvthgok · 10 months

Note

I LOVE YOUR FICS SO MUCH THEY’RE SO GOOD😭❤️ I was wondering if you could write about father figure Miguel O’Hara x young teen!Spider!Reader cuddles because I absolutely love him and need to be held by him before he goes absolutely rabid and try’s to attack Miles💀❤️❤️❤️❤️

Safe With Him | Miguel O'Hara x Young Teen!Spider!Reader (Platonic)

Warnings- none

Summary- Miguel is a father figure to you! You had a lash out episode and Miguel cuddled with you while calming down.

Side note- Ommggg literally thank youuuu soo sooo much 😭🫶! Also not proofread cuz I'm lazy 💪

Miguel is like a father to you. He'd treat you like his own daughter. However in the past two weeks Miguel noticed that you've looked super stressed out, sometimes having lash out episodes.

You couldn’t even focus when training. Until he saw you having an episode. "Hey, calm down.." he said in a concerned tone. Miguel has never seen me actually have an episode. It was the others that would see me, they would tell him.

I ignored him, still being mad at was upsetting me.

Miguel was concerned, "Hey, come sit down." He tried to get me to calm down and to sit down.

I was so mad in the moment that I didn't even hear him.

Miguel grabbed my shoulders and got me to face him. Miguel had a stern expression on. He said in a stern tone, "Hey, calm down. Stop being so hard on yourself. Look at me."I shook my head no, not making eye contact, my nostrils were flared.

Miguel was getting even more concerned with me. He’s never seen me like this. Miguel's tone turned from stern, to more of a concerned and worried tone. He said, "Hey, please. Look at me." I could tell he was worried for me, and wanted to help me. I looked at him. He could still see that I was clearly mad but not as much anymore. Miguel saw my eyes were full of sadness

Miguel felt a little better, with knowing I wasn't as mad as before. He could tell that I looked sad. Miguel said to me, "Please come sit down. I don't like seeing you like this." He really didn't like seeing me upset, and I could tell. He didn't want me to look sad, and to be upset. He said to me, "Please come sit down. I don't like seeing you like this." I started to move toward him, so I can sit down and talk to Miguel.

Sitting down with Miguel, Miguel looks at me with a concerned face. He says to me, "What's going on? You've looked stressed these past two weeks."

He noticed that I stayed silent, and that there's something wrong. With how I was acting.

"Please tell me. I want to help with whatever is wrong."

I shook my head no.

Miguel didn't want to push me to talk, if I didn't want to. He didn't want to make me upset again. My episodes were happening too often , he didn't want me to have another one. Miguel's first priority was making sure I was okay.

He moved some my hair strands from my face.

He told me, in a quiet but sweet tone, "It's okay. I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you."

I broke down crying hugged him.

Crying, I hugged him tightly. My episodes didn't bother Miguel, even though he didn’t understand what I was going through right now. He hugged me back tightly, telling me, "It's okay. You're safe with me."

Miguel kept me in a tight hug. He was so comforting and caring. He said in an understanding tone, "I don't mind at all. You're safe with me. Let it out. I promise that I won't leave. "

After a few minutes you could hear my sniffles I looked exhausted.

Miguel didn't try to make me talk. He let me be if I didn't want to. He still was hugging me, and now I was calm.

He noticed how exhausted I was, as he could hear me sniffling. He still kept me in a tight hug, comforting me. He suggested to go to a extra bedroom and get some rest. Telling how exhausted I was after my episode.

Miguel walked me to the room.

"Rest for now. I'll come check up on you after I finish some stuff." He wanted to make sure I get some rest after everything that happened.

I grabbed his arm, "Can you stay with me.." I said in a quiet voice.

Miguel stopped and turned to look down at me. He heard what I said. He knew how drained I was. Miguel was glad that I asked him that.

Miguel said in a loving tone, "Of course I can."

He was glad that I asked him to stay with me, even if I didn't tell him what was wrong with me.

Miguel walked me inside the room, and sat down next to me. Miguel wrapped his arms around me, and stayed with me.

With me being in Miguel arms, I felt at ease, and at peace.

I felt Safe With Him.

#atsv miguel #miguel o'hara #miguel ohara #miguel spiderman #miguel spiderverse #miguel x reader #miguel x y/n #miguel x you #spider man 2099 #spider man: across the spider verse #x teen!reader #teen reader #spiderman #spiderman 2099 #platonic cuddling #platonic friendships #platonic

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l3viat8an · 10 months

Note

OMG FINALLY!!

I've been trying to send an ask for the past 3 days and it wouldn't let me 😭

The levi brainrot is bad‼️

Okay so imagine this

After living in the hol for a while you notice things begin to go missing, specifically your panties. You decide your just being forgetful of where you placed your things and move on. One day, Levi asks you to meet him in his room, but when you arrive he isn't there. You wait for awhile but he shows no sign of arriving, so you, being the little nosey thing you are, begin to look around. It starts off innocent, your admiring his figurine collection when you see a hint of red fabric out of the corner of your eye. You walk over to his bed and grab the clothing item to find its your..panties? You look down and see a box peaking out from under his bed, you grab and open it. It's all of your panties that went missing! But, why does levi have it? You hear the door open and then leviathan screams. You turn around, box in hand, and see how red levi is. I mean, he's redder then the fabric you were previously holding. He begins to stutter out an explanation and it finally hits you. "Your a pathetic little panty stealer, huh levi? He practically moans at your words as you notice his growing buldge. You look at him, a devilish look in your eyes. "Y'know, if you wanted me this bad all you had to do was ask." Hes panting at this point so desperate for your harsh words "But now that you've gone and been a little thief, you'll have to beg for it." You slowly walk towards him, "Well? Are you gonna be a good little slut and beg?"

That got a lot longer then I planned it to be 🧍‍♀️

-🕸

Nsfw content MDNI

Istg I still don’t know what’s wrong with my ask box 😭 it hates me I swear!- and uhhhh idk what happened Levi just eats at my brain 🧍🏼‍♀️CW: probably typos, sorry!! dom (?) gn!reader. Hand job / blowjob, ruined orgasm, degrading, lil bit of marking (my biting kink tbh) (Levi receiving all of it!!)

Levi felt heat rush to his face at your words, his breath hitching as he tried to wrap his head around the situation. He had never wanted you to find out……but at the same time, the way you immediately talked down to him….well, he’s a pervert….it turned him on.

"I-I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself…” Levi whispered, his eyes locked onto the floor. "Please...please…..please let me make it up to you. I'll do anything. P-please…”

You smirked at his words, just taking a moment and basking in the power you held over him. You slowly walked towards him, your hand reaching down to grab his stiffening cock, clicking your tongue in mock disappointment, "Anything, huh? Well then, let's see just how far you're willing to go.”

Levi let out a small whimper as you began stroking his cock through his pants. He was completely under your control….and he loved it~

"Please, please, please f-fuck…please M-MC, I'll- I meant it!! I’ll do anything, just t-tell me….” he begged, his hips thrusting into your hand.

You pull his cock out and rub your thumb over the tip, giving him a few slow strokes, “Then you’ll be good for me, right Levi?”

Levi nodded, immediately, “Y-yes!! I'll be good for you, MC, I- I- oh fuck- I promise…please” Levi replied, his voice shaking as you continue to tease his cock.

Levi whines as the feeling of pleasure building as you worked him harder. Soon he was gasping for breath. Fuck it felt good to have such a powerful demon weak from your touch~

You leaned in close, your hot breath tickling his ear. "Dirty pervert…..you really are gross Levi…” you murmured, as you brought your lips to his neck, nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin. “Yes!! I am, s-so gross…p-p-please don’t stop!!!”

Levi moaned, his hand reaching up trying to grab onto your hair as he tried to keep himself from giving into the pleasure, just yet.

Obviously you weren't done with him~ You pulled away from his neck, eyes locking with his as you slowly sink to your knees.

"At least you know…..but now…let's see just how good you can be.” you said, as you wrap your lips around his cock.

Your lips and tongue working in tandem to push Levi closer to the edge. You could feel his body tensing up with every passing second, his hips subconsciously thrusting forward as he gave in to the warmth of your mouth.

With each flick of your tongue, each gentle suck of your lips, he was pushed closer and closer to his orgasm. Levi is panting heavily now, one hand covering his face as the other tangled desperately in your hair as he begged for release. Endlessly self-degrading words fell from his lips as you sucked him off……

Before Levi knew it, you were pulling away….his orgasm ruin and you standing up, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.

A satisfied smirk across your face when Levi sobbed out “W-why w-what are you doing?!?” But you still pulled away, "I'd say you made it up to me, Levi.” you said, a sly twinkle in your eye, as you made your way to his bedroom door.

Opening the door and stepping out into the hall, “Oh and Levi~” you waited until he looked at you, “-no cumming until I say you can.” and you’re gone.

Leaving a very red, very horny and very upset Levi in his room. Alone again.

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cdbabymp3 · 1 month

Text

yap sesh with jules time

tldr ; new slushy vlog debrief and being extremely sad on a sunday night

y'all i hate myself for it but tell me why that brief 0.3 second clip of hamzah vaping in the new vlog got me acting up rn....that big ass cloud of smoke flying past his pretty face LIKE BOY COME OVER AND SHOTGUN THAT BLUEBERRY VAPE INTO MY MOUTH !! anyway. also having weird confusing feelings about martin bc why was his face card lowkey giving in this vid.... never been attracted to him but i see edits and im like .... hold on ..... 🤔... yes he was giving ozempic spiderman FINE WHATEVER but he's got a little something to him idk. mandy knows what's up. maybe im insane or maybe there are some martin biases out there who are nodding their heads while reading this. maybe i'll make a low effort edit of him and it will convince you guys. maybe it won't. who knows! in other news, need to be hamzah's trip sitter while he's on shrooms bc he's so cute and clueless. and y'all saw the way he kept closing his eyes and taking deep breaths ... yeah need asap thanks 🩷 the way he didn't know who he was dressed up as was KILLING ME bc how do u not know when you ordered the damn costume??? my anime nerd ass was cringing at him calling himself literally 4 wrong character names. silly boy it's okay i still love him. AND MARTIN WITH THE TIMBS GOODBYE 😭 THE WAY THEY LOOKED BRAND NEW TOO I WAS CRYING. i know his ass ordered those off the amazon storefront.

on a personal note 🧌 i'm having friend issues rn and this is the only place i can't rant abt it without someone using my words against me 🤗 currently in an awkward text standstill with my friend of 10 years and i'm genuinely so lost on what to do. the friendship has gotten so toxic to the point where i fear how she takes my tone bc im worried she'll confront me. like no joke im afraid of her so i always give in and take the blame for everything. it's time to move on ik but i hate confrontation (especially over text) and im so bad at ending friendships. idk i just feel so bad bc this is the 5th friendship thats fallen through and im starting to think im just not cut out for long-term friendships?? i always get in these situations where i make myself small so that the friend can stay happy being in control which is so fucked up and i'm tiredddddd of it omfg. but yeah all of this shit is making me lose hope in having friends in general like maybe this is it for me. im being dramatic i need to end this post wow.

#yap sesh w jules ^o^#hamzahthefantastic #hamzahthefantastic x reader #slushy noobz

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honeysuckleharringtons · 3 months

Text

Part Seven: "Pour Over" ~ S. Harrington

Summary: (Then) Between postpartum blues and her baby's needy coos, Reader's having a hard time adjusting to her new life. But she quickly learns that sometimes you get by with a little help from your friends. — (Now) After dealing with her fussy child all night, the last thing Reader wants is a complicated day at work. Luckily for her, a certain nurse knows just how to make her day a little easier.

Pairing: Nurse!Steve Harrington x Fem!Byers!Reader

Word Count: 1,640

Content Warning: postpartum talk, anxiety talk, mentions of vomit (nothing in detail though), very mild swearing, mild hospital talk, mentions of food, lmk if i missed anything!

Extra Notes: yall i am so so so sorry that this took me so long to finish, more on this later but rn all i have to say is the world's biggest apology 😭

Originally Written: 01/06/2024 through 01/23/2024 (i'm so sorry)

honeysuckleharringtons main masterlist can be found here!

'brew and me' series masterlist can be found here!

[ Then, February of 1988 ]

At this point, you weren't sure how you hadn't died from sleep deprivation.

It had been a whole two weeks since the baby was born, and you were pretty sure you hadn't slept a wink since. One sleepless night had turned into two, and well… now you couldn't remember the last time you had slept.

The clock on the wall told you it was nearing three in the morning, the blackness outside the windows further proving that fact. The baby was once again crying, and no amount of midnight feedings or diaper changes or rocking her in the rocking chair had done the trick. You were warned about colic, but nothing could've prepared you for what it would be like in real time.

Another new nightly ritual was a tired Joyce stumbling into your bedroom, eyes heavy and feet shuffling. You knew exactly what she had in mind, but your Byers genes were far too stubborn to accept her offer.

“Mom, we're fine,” you insisted from your spot in the rocking chair. But even you knew that to the naked eye, you surely didn't look fine. Unwashed hair, blanket tossed messily over your lap, purple spots nearly black underneath your eyes.

Joyce just sighed from her spot in the doorway. “Honey, you are clearly not fine. Don't take this the wrong way but you're a mess.” The comment almost hurt you, though you supposed you appreciated your mother's honesty.

“I'll be okay,” you insisted. “It's not my first sleepless night.”

She moved to sit on the edge of your bed, across from the newly placed rocking chair and crib. “That's the problem, honey. You need sleep. You can't properly be there for her if you-”

“I can't leave her.”

“Don't get enough sleep and-”

“Mom, I can't-”

“You need to eat something too, honey. I mean, when was the last time you-”

“Mom!” you raised your voice this time, effectively cutting her off. “I cannot leave this baby.”

Joyce let out a long sigh, running a hand through her already messy hair. “If you don't take proper care of yourself, exhaustion is gonna hit you like a freight train. Then what?”

You supposed she might be right. But still, her comments couldn't make you see past your postpartum anxiety, worst case scenarios running rampant through your mind.

“What if something happens to her while I'm asleep?” you asked, voice weak. “Or what if she thinks I left her, just like…” you couldn't finish the statement before tears began to prick your eyes.

“Y/N, you know that me and Will would never let anything happen to this baby.” You could tell by her tone that she was being genuine, though both of you knew her words were useless when it came to your anxiety. “We love both of you. We would never let anything happen to her.”

Tears pricked your eyes as your panicked thoughts ran rampant. “What about Dad?”

She nearly fell off the bed after hearing your question. “Dad? What does Lonnie have to do with-”

“I keep having this weird feeling in my gut that Dad is gonna try something with her,” you explained, tears fully soaking your cheeks now. “Like he's going to try and take her from me.”

“I would never let that happen.” Joyce's words weren't a suggestion. She said them with such finality that you were tempted to believe her. “Lonnie walked out of here seven years ago. He hasn't gotten in here yet and I will make damn sure he doesn't get in now.”

Your heart was racing a million beats a minute. You weren't really sure why—other than postpartum anxiety—that Lonnie had been on your mind. But just the thought of him sent shivers up your spine and tears down your face.

Clinging harder to the bundle in your arms, careful not to hurt her but still holding her closer, you rocked gently in the chair in hopes of calming both yourself and the baby. Her cries had yet to subside, if anything they'd just grown louder.

“Mom, I'm so scared,” you finally broke. Even you could hear the weakness, the brokenness, the defeat in your voice. “What if I'm doing this all wrong?”

Joyce stood again, with that same finality as her words from earlier. “I'm not here to tell you how to raise your baby. You're the mother now and you know what's best for you and her,” she started, the words stern but gentle. “But I am here to give you advice as a mother myself. Babies can sense things. Maybe she's upset because you're upset.”

And with that, Joyce was stepping toward the door, reaching for knob, and then-

“Okay.” The word came out as defeated as you felt. “I'll let you have her just long enough for me to shower and eat something.”

She turned to face you with a small smile, not one of smugness or one of someone proving a point, but one that showed you that she was simply just glad to help you out. She left a soft kiss on your forehead as she took the baby from your arms, quickly taking your place in the rocking chair as you headed over to your dresser.

“Mom?”

Her smile went a little sideways as she looked up from the baby to you. “Yeah?”

“I love you. Don't ever forget that, okay?”

With a small nod, Joyce replied, “I won't. Don't you forget that I ditto.” A phrase that had been around since you were little. You weren't sure who started it, but in this moment you were thankful for it, five letters meaning the absolute world to you.

You walked over, leaving a peck to the prickly hairs you'd been seeing so much of these days, warmth filling the entire expanse of your body. “I love you, bub.”

“I'm sure she dittos you too, honey.”

[ Now, January of 1992 ]

A loud yawn sounded from the other side of the counter, breaking you from your own mess of sleepy thoughts. “Me too,” you chuckled as you looked up, a yawn slipping between your own lips. Dark hair and round glasses met you, purple spots thick underneath his eyes. “You look about as tired as I feel.”

Steve chuckled, shaking his head. “I wouldn't have known it if you hadn't mentioned it,” he said. A crease formed between your brows as you wondered what he meant. “You look as nice as you always do.”

He set a new record for how quickly he'd ever made butterflies go off inside you. “Careful, Doc, or I'll think you're flirting with me,” you said through the crimson blush that had started to appear on your cheeks.

“Sorry,” he said sarcastically, “Must be the sleep deprivation from the double I just pulled.”

You cringed at his words, knowing all too well what that felt like. “I know the feeling. I might as well have pulled my own double after staying up all night with my dau-”

The word got caught in your throat as you realized what you were about to say. “Dog,” you covered quickly, hoping your lie flew over Steve's head.

On the outside, you were hoping to appear calm and cool. On the inside, you were face palming. You'd been sleep deprived many times before, considering you once had a baby on your hands who had colic from the day she was born. Not to mention being a mother made you miss sleep in many ways of its own. But you couldn't recall a time where you'd been so sleep deprived that you almost spilled your biggest secret to a practical stranger, much less a practical stranger who you were actively avoiding telling the secret to.

“I didn't know you had a dog,” Steve said with furrowed brows, his voice bringing you back to reality.

Even though you hated to lie to him, you were thankful that your job had given you the ability to think fast. “Yeah, she must've eaten something she wasn't supposed to. She was up all night throwing up.” The real story was that Mandy had snuck into the kitchen to eat the rest of her leftover Christmas candy after you told her not to, but Steve didn't have to know that.

“Plain rice helps.”

His reaction caught you off guard. “Huh?”

“Plain rice can help a dog's upset stomach,” he explained. “If it keeps happening though, you should definitely take her to a vet.”

Steve's suggestion was oddly sweet, and honestly tugged at your heartstrings a little bit. “Thank you for the tip. Out of curiosity though, how do you know about caring for a sick dog?”

His broad shoulders shrugged, and you tried not to drool at the sight of them. “I almost went to vet school. Boy, would that have made my dad mad. Not that med school has made him any less angry.” As if realizing he was rambling, an awkward chuckle slipped between his lips and he turned his attention to the menu. “You didn't ask. Anyway, what do you recommend?”

“Nice try,” you answered, rolling your eyes. “But for you, I recommend going home and getting some sleep.”

Steve chuckled, and the sound went straight to your belly. “Hey, you don't have to tell me twice. I just pulled a double and I have to be back on campus for classes in about five hours.”

Part of you wanted to tell him to just take the night off and get some rest. Another part of you wanted to drive him home yourself and tuck him in. “I do not envy you,” you giggled. “To answer your original question though, how does a strawberry smoothie sound?”

He met you with a closed-lip smile, one that had started to feel so comforting and oh so familiar these days. “That sounds perfect.”

So this is about a month late...

I want to apologize for being gone with no announcement or explanation. Lots of things have happened in the past couple weeks that have taken a severe toll on my mental health and I just haven't really had the time to write, much less the energy.

I am feeling a little better and I have talked to my boss about my hours so I'm hoping that'll help somewhat. I really miss giving you guys content and I miss interacting with you guys.

Anyway, I hope you're all doing well! ❤️

-> taglist: @dungeons-are-too-cold @ducky-died-inside @awkotaco24 @liberhoe @princesseddie @corrodedseraphine @manuosorioh @esoltis280 @hazydespair @frostandflamesfanfic

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tomatoswup · 10 months

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Thanks for answering! My ask is gonna contain spoilers for Trigun Maximum. And I'm writing this again cuz tumblr hates me.

Could you write about Vash and his romantic partner reuniting after Wolfwood helps him escape from the Ark? The blanket he's wrapped in is big enough for two and he needs to be held ngl especially after being held for so many months.

Home

warnings/tags: Manga Spoilers,,,angst,,,hurt/comfort,,reunion,, poor Vash :(,,, i think i made this sadder than it was suppose to be,,, I'M SORRY ANON I'M JUST DRAMATIC,,,Vulnerable Vash,,, it's okay reader and vash cry it out together 🥹,,, i was listening to The Cure while writing this i swear i was INFLUENCED.

A/N: ....im so sorry anON NFLKSNLKSNDKNSD,,,, hEARTWRENCHING STUFF I KNOW😭😭😭😭 I'm so sorry on this late request tho!!!! I was everywhere for the past few weeks away from home but I'm slowly getting back into the rhythm of writing again (also recovering from my mini writers block) Oh how the world knows I love writing gut wrenching stuff hehehehe... Enjoy~🫶

There were times you wished life was...normal. Why couldn't you have fallen in love with someone else?

To spare yourself from those sobbing nights, save yourself from breaking your head over a problematic man like him. But those butterflies and baskets of pastries said otherwise to your heart, and the kind nature of his that just brought you in deeper and deeper.

Life was never so simple was it?

You never did like it that way anyways.

And perhaps after spending so much time with him, with them, that it made you stray away from that idea of something "normal" that you had imagined so long ago. When you did, he was always in it.

But no matter who it is, or who had done what, No Man's land spared no mercy for the weak, for the strong, or for those who just simply wanted to love.

And those long days felt like a nightmare you had wanted to wake up from.

7 months since the spiky haired goofball of your boyfriend had danced his way into your kitchen, calling out your name as you couldn't help but chuckle at the way he playfully pranced around, tapping the tops of your shoulders with his fingers.

"Hey you didn't have to wait for me ya' know!" He beamed, a twinkle in his eye as you set food down on the wooden table. "Vash you know I'll always wait for you."

"I knoww~ But I don't deserv-"

"Don't! Say what I think you were gonna say." You huffed out, having brought out a box from the side and putting it on the table "You deserve more than you think. Now cmon, I passed by the bakery and got some pastries and donuts. You said you liked the normal ones right? They were kinda pricy but I still-"

Vash momentarily droned out what you were saying, eyeing the way you moved, the faint blush on your soft cheeks as the heels of your shoes sounded out against the wooden floor boards under your feet.

Caring, smooth, quick.

The corners of his mouth lifted up, smiling from the curious gaze he had given you, eyes crinkling at the edges as he gave himself a playful nod in affirmation before sneaking up behind you.

Muah!

The quick kiss he gave you on the cheek snapped you out of your rambling, as his clothed arms snaked around your waist in a warm embrace.

"Thank you love..."

7 months since you had come back from town, having gotten things you needed, that you stood in the hot, dry sand. With a basket in hand, you looked up at your porch from a bit away. Spotting Wolfwood, you had instinctively raised your hand to greet the priest before holding your voice back. Something was wrong.

Very wrong. And you had a gut feeling it was gonna be a while.

The disheveled and dirtied state he was in and his cross laid out beside him as the knuckles of his cut-up hands were close to knocking on your door before he slowly turned towards you, having heard your steps in the sand.

Onyx eyes full of gloom, regret, and...

Your blood went cold, feeling a knife stab right into your stomach as you just stood there. The realization dawning upon you, eyes slowly widening at the prospective of what had come about of your lover.

May the world please bring him back to you. Please let Knives spare mercy on these two sides of a battlefield that he shared against his brother. The deserts had gone quiet again, your basket laid forgotten in the sand as nights came and gone.

Let Vash come home.

An aching eternity it felt like, some days you went staring at his empty chair at the dinner table, or whenever you helped up on the floating ship, imagining the ghost of a laugh he would let out whenever he saw the residents aboard.

It was tiring, and those restless nights thinking about what his brother was doing to him, those treacherous thoughts were ones you feared.

But the day Milly and Meryl had knocked on your door with the news that Vash was back home, away from The Ark, was one that you would never forget. How could you?

With how you scrambled around the house, you hadn't noticed how fast your legs hauled you over to the ship when you had been close to dry heaving, finally standing in front of one metallic door to the many rooms it held.

He's here!

Vash is back! He's- He's-

You tried to catch your breath, a sweaty hand on your chest as the voices behind the door faintly sounded out, making the depths of your body churn in worry and nervousness.

Shit, maybe you should've given him some time to recover. Did you act a bit too quickly? But after all of these months... You should let him rest-

"Ah!" You squawked out, hastily taking a few steps back as the door swung right open, revealing a tightly bundled up Wolfwood as he stepped out, shutting the door right behind him before shooting you a calm gaze.

"Ya know, I'm surprised you didn't just run right in. Blondie even cleared the room out before you got here." Passing by you, you couldn't help but watch as he began his stride down the hall.

Wait.

"WOLFWOOD!" You called out, making him stop in his tracks as he turned his head to the side.

"Thank you. I don't how to repay y-"

Letting out a big sigh to cut you off, he scratched the side of his head "You ain't repayin' me shit, just get in there already. I'll catch up later.."

What kind of man would Wolfwood be to keep two lovers apart anyways?

'A sinful man I would be...' He pondered for just a moment before leaving you behind, leaving you alone to take his word. And with sweaty palms, you indeed did, putting a hand on the cold metallic door knob, turning and pushing it open.

With cold air hitting the surface of your face, you noted the large coffee table and couches in the room, mugs and plates scattered around as you took a few more steps inside. Signs of life...

"You're okay..." You heard a voice say out, making you whip your head to the right and being met with another blanketed bundle of man sat on the couch. But how couldn't you recognize that soft gaze of blue, the messy blonde hair and pink slippers on his scarred feet? Vash tiredly smiled up at you, tilting his head to the side as he looked you up and down.

God how could he smile after so much?

His pink cheeks had sullen, the purple bags under his eyes prominent as the exhaustion was obvious, but he kept that same kind smile after everything he had gone through.

How?

"You look goo- WOAH!" He gaped out in surprise, quickly throwing his arms wide open to catch your figure as you threw yourself at him and into a tight hug, pushing the both of you guys back onto the olden couch.

And before you knew it, the both of you had cuddled up against each other on said couch as you held Vash's head up against your chest, the pads of your fingers soothing the side of his cheek as you rested your chin on top of his head.

"Oh Vash..." You quivered, trying hold back the tears in your eyes as you felt his arms around your waist tighten, the blanket the two of you had been wrapped in rustling as he brought himself in closer.

The weight on his chest hurt, and it felt so heavy.

"I'm sorry." He choked out as you felt tads of wetness on your shirt, his sobs filling the emptiness of the air as his rough hands gripped the back of your shirt in desperation.

It didn't matter how hot the bare skin of his chest felt under the blanket, nor did it matter if the elbows and knees of his body ached and the spine of his back felt like needles.

You're the closest to comfort and peace he's had in the last 7 months, and he couldn't let you go.

"Don't apologize. I..I don't think you really know how happy I am to have you back." You cried, finally broking down, leaving kisses on the top of his head as he continued to wail against your chest "I would've been so lost..."

'You felt like home.' And you always did. Vash shut his eyes as the two of you stayed entangled together for the next few hours.

Having cried, talked about what had happened in the last 7 months, and the future before drifting off to sleep on the very couch.

Under the blanket of love, did two lovers finally reunite before the tribulations that had occurred and were to come.

"I love you."

"I would've been so lost, because you felt like home."

#trigun imagines #vash x reader #gimme a sec i need to find who did this quote bc i completely forgot who (remembered it from the top of my head)#trigun #trigun headcanons #trigun stampede x reader #vash imagine #vash the stampede x reader #vash the stampede #trigun angst #trigun maximum #trigun maximum headcanons

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