#i'll probs proofread later
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『consequential』 — satoru
— pairing: satoru x afab!reader
— wc: 5k
— content: mdni, nsfw; vampire au, college/university au, jealous/possessive satoru, blood drinking, vampire bites (chest, neck and arm), alcohol, mutual pining (a distant relative of idiots to lovers), piv sex, love bites (heh literally), standing/sex against the wall (he holds you up the entire time because he's actually insane), unprotected sex, creampie, cockwarming,he's a bit of a simp really idk if that was planned
— notes: got possessed by the Horny Spirit, also not proofread. enjoy? also be gentle with me I haven't written smut in over a year
prompt: ["Oh, don't be cute."] + [“you’re all mine” - “hm…” - “say it” - “i’m all yours”]
While slightly spiteful, your plan had been simple and had about a 50/50 chance of succeeding, with minimal loss to you if it didn’t.
Two weeks ago Gojo Satoru had— after months of asking for it and being denied by you— finally gotten your permission to drink your blood. So he’d gone ahead and bitten you, you’d loved it and probably fell even more annoyingly head over heels for him as a result of the oddly erotic experience, and the way he had acted during the whole ordeal gave you a decent indication that he most definitely felt the same way you did.
You’d expected things to finally change between you after that, hell you’d actually been excited for it.
But instead of leaning into the shift in the dynamic between you, Satoru had instead decided to pretend you didn’t exist and proceeded to completely avoid you for the last two weeks.
(Which is actually quite the feat considering how much overlap there is between your friend groups. But you’re not impressed. You’re mad.)
To say you were upset would be an understatement. Your pride was wounded along with your ego, and you felt foolish and embarrassed and stupidly angsty. The unfortunate reality is that you’re not very good at processing those feelings, so in your time of need you turned to your most faithful, long-time friend: spite.
You know for a fact that Satoru likes the way you smell and taste– it’s one of the many things he’d let slip when sucking the blood ever so gently from the puncture he’d made in the soft flesh of your inner forearm. So you decided to wait until the prime part of your cycle, where the supernatural consensus said humans smelt their best, and you’d procured a tincture from your witch-in-training friend that would accentuate the natural appeal of your blood for certain creatures of the night (she’d assured you it was safe, but you have your own means of defending yourself anyway so you aren’t too worried.)
Then, you’d waltzed your way into a party that was being held at his shared accommodation and made it a point to have fun. The real goal of your plan, besides sticking it to him in the most subtle-not-subtle way ever, was also just to feel better about yourself. Your expectations being upended regarding how you’d hoped things would develop with Satoru had been a big blow and would take some TLC from yours truly to recover from.
You’ve had fun so far, you’re only a drink or so in and pleasantly buzzed, and you’re getting a lot of compliments on your perfume. You can’t exactly tell them you’re not wearing anything but eau de spite, but it does feel nice nonetheless. Each comment is like a balm to your poor, chafed ego. The only wrench in the works is that as expected, not long after you arrived, Satoru noticed you.
And then proceeded to continue in his efforts to avoid and ignore you. He’d disappeared into the throng of people on the other side of the house before you could even blink.
It takes a strongly mixed cocktail, courtesy of Shoko who you’re not sure isn’t trying to kill you with the alcohol content of these drinks, for you to settle your fuming. This is stupid— no, he’s stupid. Stupid sexy vampire with his stupid pretty eyes and stupid pretty face. How dare he let you make a fool of yourself by thinking there could be anything more between you! You never should have let him bite you. At least then things would still be the same and you wouldn’t be so torn between throttling him and kissing him.
Angrily, you take a hearty gulp of your drink. Despite the superficial fruity flavour it burns on the way down, unsurprisingly, and you have to breathe slowly through your nose so it doesn’t come back up. You’re no longer uncertain; you’re confident this cocktail is an attempt on your life.
It’s as you’re nursing that drink and leaning angstily against a wall in the corner of the room, that you sense someone approach you. Your eyes take a moment to adjust as you look up, surprise filtering through you once you register the figure by your side.
“Hey.”
Your brows shoot up, a small grin tugging your lips. “Oh? Long time no see, Mei Mei. What cave have you crawled out of to be here tonight?”
The snow-haired woman rolls her eyes, lips twitching. Her tongue darts to swipe over the tip of a pointed canine.
“Oh, you know, every homebody has to come out to play every once in a while.” Her nose twitches, and she leans forward slightly to inhale. Her eyes flutter wide in pleasant surprise. “Well, don’t you smell absolutely divine tonight. Special occasion?”
Kind of, but you’re not about to tell her that. Mei Mei can be a decent enough acquaintance so long as you keep her at arm’s length.
“I’m trying something new,” you answer simply. She hums, and when her body angles towards you again ever so slightly you become aware of the most odd, prickly sensation. It tickles the hairs at the back of your neck, and you fight the peculiar urge to turn and look around. All you’d see is dancing bodies and stumbling drunks, anyway.
“It suits,” Mei Mei purrs with a smile that makes you a little nervous. Music throbs against your body so strongly that for a moment you’re not sure whether the beat you’re feeling in your chest belongs to your heart or the song. “Though you ought to be careful going on campus smelling like that. You’ll lure in every bloodsucker in a five-mile radius.”
You suppose that means the tincture is doing its job. The way her eyes are appraising your pulse points keeps you feeling nervous, though. Perhaps… it wasn’t the best idea to make yourself smell so scrumptious after all. There are more than a few loose canons in the area.
It’s a little too late for regrets now, though. At this point you just gotta double down and own the decision.
“Noted,” you say, taking a hearty sip of your death-in-a-cup. The burn is now a pleasant distraction. You smile at Mei Mei and feel that prickly, hot feeling increase tenfold. What is that?!
The sensation has your heart rate elevating slightly, and it must make the aroma of your blood a little stronger because the vampire before you lets out a soft groan, her eyes fluttering shut. Almost like it’s instinct, she takes a step closer and leans her head towards the crook of your neck. Your startle is almost imperceptible, and you’re thankful that the top you opted for is one that saved the neck exposure for a well-placed boob window instead. The fabric covering half the expanse of your throat is probably the only reason you don’t freak out at her actions.
Her nose brushes your skin, dragging up the column of your throat until it flirts with the bottom of your earlobe. Your heart skips a beat before tumbling into a full gallop. It’s different to how it felt with Satoru— you don’t like this nearly as much. Your legs tense with the urge to leave.
“Really,” she says, purring your name. “You’ve got me feeling quite peckish. Won’t you let me have a little sn–“
A grip winds around your wrist like a vice, not painful but certainly unforgiving. Startled, you look up and see the person of the hour, the vampire you went to all this effort to torment in the hopes he would want you again. Wow, it doesn’t sound great when you think of it like that. The alcohol is certainly not helping your self-esteem right now.
Satoru’s pretty baby-blues are dark, pupils blown wider than you’ve ever seen before, and his entire body is riddled with tension. He almost looks like the slightest pressure would have him snapping in half. His jaw is locked tightly, and he hisses through clenched teeth and descended fangs.
“Come with me. Now.”
You don’t get the chance to bid Mei Mei farewell, not that you really want to, and the last thing you see as you’re dragged out of the room is her waving a manicured hand your way, mouthing a playful ‘goodbye’. She looks far too amused for your comfort.
Right now, Satoru is nothing like the cheeky, carefree, shit-stirring bastard you’ve come to know and love. That isn’t to say you’re completely opposed to it, because the way he looks like know is a pretty big turn-on. But still – the difference is startling. You’re not sure how to navigate the situation.
Before you know it you’ve been unceremoniously relocated to his bedroom, and he is pressing you against the door the second it closes behind you with a heavy, loud THUD.
For a moment, the only sound that fills the space is that of the music beyond the wooden barrier. The bass is no longer indistinguishable with your heart beat – the stuttering rhythm that echoes against your rib cage is all you.
Satoru inhales deeply as though to calm himself down, only to let out a long, low groan immediately after. The sound affects you more than it probably should, heat winding pleasantly up your spine.
“What was that?” He demands, brows snapping together. It takes you a moment to realise that he’s most likely referring to Mei Mei being horny on main just before. His massive frame boxes you in against the door in such a way that you’re almost embarrassed by how much it makes your tummy flutter.
“I don’t know what you mean,” you breathe, chin tilted up as you hold his gaze. Something feral flickers through his expression.
“Oh, don’t be cute.” The words snap into the air, causing your breath to hitch. Satoru’s eyes flick to your forearm, where the slightest bruise still remains from the last time you were in close quarters like this. He swallows, piercing gaze returning to your own.
“I told you.” Satoru’s words leave in a snarl, his fingers firm against the flesh of your hips. His own body is so close to yours that you can feel the heat of it, the tingle of electricity that arcs between you. “That I would be able to smell it if another vampire so much as breathed near you. Did you think I wouldn’t notice you getting chummy with one in my own home?”
You can easily recall him saying that to you almost a fortnight ago, when he had been commenting that he could tell you hadn’t been bitten before thanks to his sharp senses and all that. You didn’t think he was lying. You are surprised that he cares, though. Something like indignation bubbles beneath your lungs, because how dare the bastard spout that shit when he just spent the last two weeks since your ‘encounter’ pretending you didn’t exist.
“Not sure why you give a shit,” you retort, squashing down a whine that begins to rise in your throat when his hips begin to press into yours. “Seemed like you were done with me after you finally got that taste you wanted so bad.”
His brows scrunch together, appearing confused for a second amongst the agitation on his features. You decide to fill the gap in the conversation on his behalf.
“I really was just a Sip ‘n’ Dip to you, huh,” you scoff, letting your head fall back against the door. His eyes snap to the column of your throat, more of which is now exposed. “At least now I know the only thing you want from me is my blood. Really saved me some grief there, Satoru.”
“Excuse me?”
When your eyes slide back to his face, he looks like you’ve physically struck him. His fingers dig into your hips almost out of habit, just shy of being painful. Anger still bubbles beneath your sternum, and you glare at him.
“By the way, as far as I’m aware, biting me once doesn’t give you any exclusive rights to my blood, so where the hell do you get off getting so shitty because someone else took a whiff–“
Satoru snaps.
“I don’t just want your blood,” he snarls, lips curling away from pin-prick sharp fangs. He has the nerve to look insulted. “I want you, you stupidly oblivious pain in my ass. All of you.”
He then leans in, erasing any foreign scents lingering on you and replacing it with something of his own, whatever pheromone bullshit vampires do. You’re too busy trying to stop your heart from having palpitations to focus on it too much because what the fuck did he just say—
“Do you have any idea how close I am to losing myself to a frenzy, like a fucking fledgling?!” His lips brush over the pulse point at your neck, and then teeth, razor-sharp and full of promise, drag over the skin of your clavicle, leaving gooseflesh in their wake. You shiver, flushing with heat and desire. The threat of another bite is already enough to have your body reacting in memory of how the last one felt. You want him, god you want him so, so badly.
“I haven’t fed since then because I can’t get the taste of you out of my head, and I can’t stomach anything else. I can’t stop thinking about the noises you made when I sank my teeth into you, and the scent of absolute desire that filled the entire fucking room the second the venom kicked in for you.” Satoru’s words are punctuated by a prick just below your collarbone, the brief sting eliciting a gasp. Warmth begins to trickle thinly from the site and is quickly staunched by a press of his tongue, and he moans. You’re so painfully aroused that it nearly makes you dizzy. He groans, long and suffering. “Just like now.”
He moves lower and lower, hauling you off the floor and completely into his hold so his mouth can reach your chest without stooping. Suddenly in the air, you can’t help the way you yelp and wrap your legs tightly around his hips – which, in turn, presses the heat of your core against the very prominent bulge there. You both echo a groan.
“Coward,” you manage to pant, out of sheer spite if nothing else. “Stupid idiot. I clearly want you. I literally could not have been any more obvious, you’re so –“
His teeth sink into the exposed top of your breast, retracting once they puncture deep enough to get a good flow. Then, he latches firmly onto the flesh, sucking it into his mouth. The act startles a moan out of you, the venom from the initial bite already transmuting the pain into heady pleasure and sending heat through your veins, all while kicking your heart into an even faster beat. Perhaps one of the best perks of the venom is that after that first dose settles in, the only part of the process left for you to feel is pleasure.
Even while you’re unable to help the way your hips roll into his own, and unable to ignore the feral, sinful moans vibrating against your chest as he suckles the wound he made and drinks from you, you manage to continue insulting him.
“You’re so stupid, why the hell did you avoid me for two weeks huh?” A moan breaks up your complaint as he swipes his tongue in broad movements over the bite, his hips snapping into yours and pressing you further into the door. The wood creaks, but neither of you pay it any mind. You can barely function around the incredible sensation of his cock grinding against you through layers of clothing. “All you did was send mixed messages and piss me off and, ngh fuck–“
He pulls back enough that you can see the flush in his face, the feral gleam in his eyes and the smear of blood over swollen lips. His brows are furrowed, but he’s too besotted by the taste of you to have as much heat behind his glare as he did previously.
“There are some things you can’t take back,” he grits out, tongue coming to clean the red from his lips. Your heart stutters, pulse thudding in your ears. “Especially for my kind. If I didn’t stay away, I probably would have ended up doing one of those things.”
Your core positively throbs with need, clenching around nothing. The extent to which you want him right now has you more irritable than usual. “Satoru, I wouldn’t have let you drink from me if I wasn’t interested in everything else it would entail—“
“You don’t understand,” Satoru groans, freeing a hand to rip at the material of your shirt. Clawed fingertips slice through with ease, taking out the bra straps underneath as well. He makes quick work of the band beneath your chest and the underwear is then torn from your form and thrown somewhere in the background. The material of your top remains, and he yanks it down below your aching breasts, watching with rapt attention as they bounce free heavily. Barely allowing you time to moan, he lifts you higher in his arms and dives down to drag his teeth over the swollen globes. He nips and nibbles across the sensitive skin, eliciting all sorts of sounds from you and an unbearable amount of desire that shoots straight between your legs. You can feel slick arousal trickling from your aching cunt with each new miniscule bite Satoru delivers, but honestly at this point you’re too horny to be embarrassed.
“I already want everything you can give me, and more.” He bites the inside of your breast and the flesh gives easily beneath the razor-sharp point of his fangs. One of his hands comes to grip the other side of your chest while he laps and sucks at the blood welling in the wound. Your nipples are painfully hard and you feel like you could cry in relief when his long, nimble fingers begin to deliver them some much-needed attention. “I want every single part of you and I don’t want to share. This is the way I am built. I can’t do this with you again and let you go afterwards. I want you to be mine.”
You probably shouldn’t find that as romantic as you do, but aren’t really in a position to psycho-analyse your response right now. It’s not all that surprising, either, since you recall someone mentioning to you before how strongly vampires bond with their partner when they finally make their choice. As it happens, his confession serves to not only make your heart soar but your pussy throb. You’ve been pining for this man for years, so even amongst the haze of lust clouding your mind you don’t have to think about how to respond to it.
This is, after all, the solution you were hoping for two weeks ago.
“I don’t want you to let me go, or take anything back. Please bite me again, mark me up–” You pause to gasp, Satoru having shoved your skirt up to bunch around your hips. Your panties are gone a split-second later, likely discarded in the same manner as your bra, and the hand that was at your breast is now trailing your slit and gathering all the slick that has pooled there. His middle finger dips in, causing a stutter in your breath. You lean forward to whisper in his ear, snowy strands of hair tickling your cheeks as you do so. “And please, please fuck me, Satoru.”
Something snaps in him, and he doesn’t need to be told twice.
A feral snarl escapes him, a gravelly “fuck” the only warning you get before his teeth sink down just above your nipple, fangs retracting once blood wells to the surface, and he pulls both the wound and your stiffened peak into his mouth, sucking hard. There isn’t a single ounce of pain, only the white-hot pleasure that shoots to your clit and has you keening as a result, hands scrabbling for purchase along his broad shoulders. That free hand that was at your slit has made quick work of his pants and is now guiding his scalding member to slap against your clit, and then press against your entrance while you recover from the shock of pleasure.
You expected him to be well-endowed, and you’re not at all disappointed. Satoru’s cock is fat and long, and with one roll of his hips it spears right into you. There is no resistance, you’re far too aroused and wet for there to be any, but the feeling of being split open by such a monster quite literally knocks the breath out of you. You hardly recognise the noise that escapes you as one of your own, hands gripping the vampire’s hair and shoulder so tightly you’d be worried about hurting him if he was human. He isn’t, though, and without even noticing your grip continues drinking from you while latched to your breast, tongue pressing and rolling your aching nipple all the while.
A second is all you get to adjust to the foreign length inside you before Satoru rolls his hips back with a moan, the fat head of his cock dragging against your walls as he does so, and then slams it back in. He builds a rhythm immediately that is almost animalistic in its desperation and fervour, each thrust firm and hitting so deep inside that you honest to god think it has you seeing stars. Whines and moans tumble from your mouth, no longer able to be held back when the only thing your brain can comprehend is the sheer pleasure and ecstasy that burns and sparks along your limbs. He begins to hit a certain spot when he fucks up into your heat that has you clenching around him, slick gushing forth.
“FUCK.” He rips away from your chest to tilt his head back in a rough, stilted moan, his hands gripping and digging into the meat of your thighs where they melt into your ass. In the absence of his mouth, blood begins to dribble down the swell of your breast. His crystalline eyes are hazy and blown out in lust, brows drawn together and expression twisted in pleasure, his breath coming in pants. He is visibly barely holding it together, completely drunk on the taste and feel of you– and it simultaneously is the hottest and sweetest thing you’ve ever seen. “Yes, fuck, squeeze me just like that.”
You oblige, relishing in the full-body shiver that tears through him in response. He bites your name out amidst a tortured groan, hands shifting to your hips. His mouth returns to clean up the mess he left on your breast, lips latching around your nipple to suck and pull once more, and it’s almost enough to distract you from the way he suddenly begins to lift you by the hips and drop you back down on his cock in time with his thrusts. Almost. You have to bite back a scream at how fucking good it feels, the pressure and pace and just how full you feel. You can feel yourself rapidly beginning to come undone.
With the combination of his venom’s aphrodisiac effects and the sheer amount of time you’ve spent longing for this, you don’t imagine you’re going to last much longer. If the unforgiving pace of Satoru’s hips is anything to go by, you estimate the same to be the case for him.
He groans into your chest, releasing your breast to bounce in time with his thrusts, the action accompanied by an almost audible pop, and shifts his hold to free a hand. The pressure of two fingers against your clit has you crying out, body jerking at the sudden rush of pleasure – your head whips down to find him already looking at you, gaze swinging from the juncture of your thighs to your eyes. Evidently pleased by the expression he finds on your face, he continues his circling of your clit and leans his head down to trail kisses from your already-healing chest, up the column of your throat, across the line of your jaw, until he finally arrives at your lips.
“Mine,” he murmurs, lips brushing yours in a feather-light caress. His baby-blue eyes are lidded heavily and almost dazed, coherent thought lost to the throes of pleasure and his most simple instincts. He nicks your lip at the same time as he angles a particularly wonderful thrust, the head of his cock hitting against that spot that makes you see stars and release a loud, wanton cry. “You’re all mine.”
You pull back to nod rapidly, unable to form words when all you can think – all you can feel – is the throbbing pleasure of his cock splitting you open with each heavy thrust. His head follows, lips seeking your own once more. The kiss is hot, and needy, and his oversized canines scrape your bottom lip more than once, and yet all you can do is return the fervour in between moans and whines. His hand is still at work between your legs, and you feel in your bones that you’re really not going to last much longer at this rate.
Satoru releases your mouth with a final nip, and moves his head to nestle it in the juncture of your neck and shoulder. He groans, low and long, and the vibration turns to a shiver as it travels over your skin. His lips begin to move.
“Say it.”
You struggle to think let alone figure out what he wants, lost in the current of your rapidly approaching orgasm. His fingers pick up speed, aided by the generous amount of arousal still gushing from your pussy in between thrusts. It takes everything you have not to scream, your hips bucking.
“Say it,” he says again, an oddly uncertain note infiltrating his rumbling gasp. He utters your name while nosing at your throat and you feel yourself melt. “Please, say it.”
Realisation as to what he is looking for hits you at the same time as your orgasm. “Fuck! I’m– I’m yours, all yours! God, fuck—“
Satoru’s pace stutters, undone by your pussy clenching and throbbing around him in a fight to keep him inside, and it takes him a moment to recover before he begins to fuck into you again in earnest, movements growing sloppy and frantic but no less punishing. It all serves to prolong the wave of absolute bliss you’re riding in the wake of what has to be the strongest orgasm of your life. Those vampiric toxins are no joke.
You wind your arms around his neck, clutching him close and trying not to lose your mind as he fucks up into you, the drag of his cock against your walls somehow even more delicious than before. He mouths at your neck, hips beginning to stutter once more. You clench around him, and he breaks. There is barely enough time for a curse to escape his mouth before its clamping on your neck, teeth digging in deep— deeper than he’s ever bitten you before— and tingling heat spreading out from the puncture sites. He gives one, two, three final, dragging thrusts, body trembling and muscles taut, before his cock throbs and he buries it inside you, spilling into you with a deep, rumbling groan against your throat.
Soft, panting moans escape you as his hips continue to roll into you softly, riding out his orgasm, and you bite back a wanton groan as you feel his cum beginning to trickle out around his softening member. As soon as he comes back to his senses to a degree, he has the presence of mind to navigate the two of you to the bed before he loses strength in his legs, his mouth slipping from your neck after he laves his tongue over the wound to seal it. Unceremoniously, he drops the two of you against the mattress, but surprisingly keeps you snugly in his hold and his length still buried inside you. Ignoring how hot that is, you decide to view the action from a purely romantic light and nearly melt into the mattress.
Vaguely, you register the thumping club beats still booming beyond the confines of the room. Evidently the party was still ongoing.
“This wasn’t how I planned for today to go,” he admits, after a few beats of contented silence. He nuzzles his face to your chest, dragging his nose across your collarbone. “I was going to talk to you tomorrow morning.”
You snort; that’s likely.
“… This is how I planned for today to go, though.”
He huffs a laugh before pressing his lips together, clearly trying not to enable you further. He allows for another few moments to pass, and in that time you let your own eyes flutter closed.
“You can’t change your mind, by the way,” he says suddenly, tone odd. You open your eyes and turn to see his crystalline gaze directed to your neck, where the latest of his bite marks sits proudly. “I may have done one of those things I can’t take back.”
You’re not sure how to tell him it’s not as bad of a thing as he thinks it to be.
likes and reblogs are appreciated <3 lmk what you think!
#gojo x reader smut#gojo x reader#jjk smut#gojo smut#satoru smut#vampire au#vampire gojo satoru#smut#my work#jjk writings#jjk#jealous gojo satoru#posessive gojo satoru#i'll probs proofread later#probably#oneshot#he's a bit feral in this one but we love that for him#satoru x reader#satoru x reader smut
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A little fic that I wrote under the cut, I'm strictly posting this to prove to myself that not everything has to be perfect when it comes to my writing. Vince/Mick implied (kinda) and cursing warning.
“Dude, what the hell happened to your hair?”
Mick is broken from his restful state by the grating voice of Vince Neil.
He'd been minding his own business after their first show together in years. The red, white and crue tour looked like it was going to do well if the sold out venues suggested anything and he was feeling pretty good about everything they've accomplished thus far so he decided that a bit of a victory nap (read: pass out) on the couch of the dressing room would be fine, so he nodded off a bit.
He then processes what Vince said.
“What?” He replies dumbly, confused.
“What is going on with your hair?” Vince repeats while pointing his finger towards his own hairline to imply to Mick to look at his own hairline there.
“What do you mean?” Mick raises a brow, reaching for his hat only to realise that his hat wasn't on his head anymore.
He scans the floor frantically to find it laying strewn on the ground about seven inches away.
Vince laughs, amused by Mick's panic.
“Um, do you mind getting my hat for me?” Mick asks, too embarrassed to remember to be grumpy about being woken.
Vince picks it up but holds the top hat hostage with the advantage of standing and not having a crippling bone disease.
“Not until you tell me what's up with your hair, you try something different and it didn't work?” Vince chuckles, holding the hat close to his chest playfully.
Mick sighs wearily, looks like he wouldn't be getting that victory nap after all.
“What the hell are you talking about Neil?” Mick asks,annoyed that this conversation wasn't getting him any closer to going back to sleep.
“The colour man”
“What colour?” Mick is genuinely confused as to what his singer is on about, he's starting to think that Vince is asking him something completely different in reality but because of just waking up his tired brain was just interpreting this conversation very weirdly.
“The ginger”
Mick pulls a face before realisation sets in.
Fuck, his roots were starting to grow out.
He guesses that he just hadn't noticed because he's always wearing hat's…and he's not really a fan of looking at himself in the mirror.
“Oh yeah, I'm due a touch up, my roots are probably just growing out is all” Mick says holding his hand out expectantly for Vince to hand over his hat.
Vince doesn't budge.
“No fucking way dude, there is no way that you've been a ginger this whole time and I didn't know.”
“Well believe it” Mick leans forward making grabbing motions towards his hat. Instead of Vince giving him his hat he sits down next to Mick on the couch, still keeping the hat from Mick's reach.
“Abso-fucking-lutely not, there is no way.” Vince says unconvinced and obviously in the mood to bust Mick's balls, which Mick doesn't appreciate.
He should have expected this kind of behaviour from the blond, he'd known him for over twenty years so he knew something minerly inconvenient like this would happen, it's always something with not just Vince but with all the guys.
No matter how sober or ‘good’ they got their innate need for chaos would never truly disappear, but that's one of the reasons Mick loved the band so much.
It was never boring.
What he didn't expect Vince to do was reach a free hand out and thread his fingers though the thin faded hair on his scalp.
Mick's first instinct is to tense, a sudden violent flashback of when Nikki had ripped out a chunk of his hair flashes in his mind. And he knows it's irrational and a completely different decade at this point and a whole different person to Nikki (and hell even Nikki himself was quite pleasant as of late) so he tries to play off the illogical spasm as surprise.
He's not quick enough apparently as Vince takes notice almost immediately.Vince is the master of body language after all.
“Sorry man” the playful edge wanes a bit, as his movements become subtly more gentle. When his hand is comfortably seated he starts scratching.
And Mick is absolute putty in his hands, the gentle unintentional scalp massage he's getting while Vince playfully checks if his hair is real makes his brain short circuit for a moment. He's not used to somebody touching his hair like this.
Embarrassingly enough Mick finds himself nodding off again, his exhaustion from the show, his nap being interrupted and now the intentional scalp massage all elements to why he suddenly thought that falling asleep sounded great.
He leans back to how he was lying down (sitting down) before and for a second he's almost gone again.
Then he hears a snort and a chuckle that snaps him out of it.
“Ya like that Mickey~” Vince teases and pulls his hand away. Mick feels his face turn bright red.
“Fuck off Neil, go bother one of the other guys.” Mick says,trying to hide embarrassment with anger.
Vince gets up but not before winking at him.
“Ya know what I think I will, Nikki owes me twenty bucks.”
“How come?” Mick asks embarrassment, momentarily forgotten.
Vince answers while making his way to the door out of the dressing room. “I bet him about twenty years ago that you were soulless and now that I know your a ginger, my theories fucking confirmed”
Mick gives Vince a deadpan look, too end all deadpan looks, and if looks could kill, Vince would be dead where he stood.
Vince just laughs and he's out the door without another word.
It's only when Mick is comfortably settled again that he realises that Vince took his hat with him.
#my writing#wrote this in like half an hour so it's probably no good#like i didn't even proofread#I'll probs delete this out of pure shame later lol#hope this makes any sense at all
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Private, not secret
a/n: me being happy cause my no sabo ass can finally start using the little spanish sayings i've learned/said throughout my life😭😭not sure how to feel about this or how it ended....just the thought of miguel coming home and COMPLETELY unwinding and being putty in ur hands....it does something to me okay?? i just wanna take care of him pls as always i hope u all enjoy this and credit to the gif owner! <3
warnings: none really! cursing, some spanish, (that's probs not good i'm sorry my luvs i wasn't taught my native language </3) miguel being soft then grumpy lol, not proofread (that's a warning itself).
no pronouns are used in this story and there wasn't any specific races mentioned so everyone can read!! i'll probs do a translation of the phrases i used later👁️👄👁️
There was one thing that was certain about Miguel O’Hara, and that one thing was how private he was about his life. It was no surprise to anyone at headquarters how private he was about his life outside of Spiderman. For all they knew, Miguel practically lives in his office. From the moment they stepped foot into the building, to the moment they walked out, Miguel would be there staring at the screens that were in front of him.
There was something different about today though. Something different about this week. It hadn't been the best week for any of the Spider-people down at headquarters, meaning it definitely wasn't a good week for Miguel. Anomalies were escaping, villains were destroying cities, and Hobie missed a morning debrief again, yet Miguel hasn't blown up yet. Not even a cold icy glare was sent their way.
“This is weird…” Peter mumbled to himself as Mayday crawled up his body, sitting on his shoulders giggling as he watched Miguel talk to Hobie calmly.
Gwen lowered herself down from the ceiling hanging upside down beside him.
“I was thinking the same thing.”
She flips over, landing on her feet effortlessly.
“Doesn't he usually start yelling by this point?” Pavitr asked, following closely behind Gwen.
Peter slowly nods his head, his eyes not leaving the sight in front of him, but widening more when he sees Miguel laugh at something Hobie says.
“Did he just…?” Peter mumbles quietly to himself
“Oh yeah, he did,” Gwen says while grabbing onto Mayday.
“Awe nah,” Miles said, swinging next to them.
“Yall remember when he tried literally killing me?! Ain't no way bros just out here laughing now.”
“Laughing with me too at that,” Hobie said while turning around and watching Miguel leave before facing his friends again with a sly smile.
“You all thinking what I'm thinking?” Hobie asked.
“We go home early?” Peter asked while taking Mayday back from Gwen, placing her in her carrier.
“We kidnap him for questioning-”
“We follow him home-”
“We leave him alone to bathe in his happiness!”
Four pairs of eyes all fall on Pavitr as soon as the words leave his mouth, causing him to nervously clear his throat.
“I’m just saying…maybe it's best if we leave him alone. I mean, do we really want Miguel to be angry and start yelling at us again?”
-
“I guess we do want Miguel to yell at us.”
Pavitr whispered harshly, earning four loud shushes as they hung off of a random building.
“Are you sure this is the right place?” Miles asked quietly as he put his hands up near his eyes, peering into the window.
“Has to be,” Hobie replied with a smile as he grabbed onto Mayday who was crawling up to the roof.
“We followed him here ourselves!” Gwen exclaimed. “He has to be here.”
Peter gasps and ducks out of your eyesight, pulling down Gwen and Pavitr with him and shushing everyone.
“Oh my god, we should've listened to Pav-”
“Yes, you should have.” Pav cut off with a smile.
“This is someone else’s house!”
Miles whispered as he kept looking at the window, silently thanking the universe for his invisibility powers.
“Miles! Get down already!” Gwen said while looking up at him, but her words go into one of Miles’ ears and out the other as he watches Miguel walk into the home with a familiar scowl on his face.
“Wait! Miguel just walked in.”
Interest peaked from everyone as they all make their way over to the window, peeking inside and gasping when they see you jump into Miguel’s arms
“I don't believe it…” Gwen quietly said to herself.
“Huh, well that's something I didn't expect.” Peter followed.
“Oh, this is great! Miguel is in love with someone! Do you think anyone else knows? What about Jess? Or maybe even-”
Pav’s words are cut short when Mayday starts banging on the window when she sees the large familiar man her father works with. Gasps leave the mouths of everyone when they hear the exchange between you and Miguel.
“Miguel…why is there a baby sticking to our window?”
“Dios mío, pinche Parker…”
Peter feels his heart drop when his last name leaves Miguel’s lips. He reaches up ready to grab his beautiful daughter (and possibly say his last words to her) but grabs onto a chiseled face instead.
“Oi, he's a dead man now, yeah?” Hobie whispers to his friends.
Peter slowly looks up, giggling nervously when he sees Miguel's face in his hands still.
“Parker, let go of my face.”
Peter quickly drops his hands and starts stuttering over his words to explain why he's there with everyone until Miguel holds up a hand to stop him.
“You five,” he said, gesturing to the group. “In the house.”
The group wastes no time as they all swing into Miguel’s house carefully trying not to knock anything over. It's now that they take the time to look around his decorated home, smiling when they see pictures scattered along the wall. The place is nice, it screams Miguel and someone else, they just don't know who yet.
“Parker. Your baby, please.”
Peter looks back over at Miguel who stands perfectly still as Mayday begins to climb over him into the arms of a giggling you.
“She is just adorable! Mira que lindo, Miggy! Don't you just want to eat her up?”
Peter’s heart swells when Mayday giggles at your compliments, his eyes widening a bit when he sees Miguel smile at you.
“Yes, cariño she's cute, but I think she needs to go back with Peter.”
Peter steps forward with his arms out, chuckling when Mayday jumps into them. Miguel turns to face them all, ready to send them back home when he sees the looks on their faces.
“Fine,” he sighs. “Ask away.”
“Are you the reason he’s nicer now?”
“How long has this been going on?!”
“Does he glare at you when you mess up things too?”
“This couch is lovely. I have to know where you got it from.”
You laugh softly as questions are thrown your way a mile a minute. Miguel grumbles to himself as he walks over to the kitchen table, your hand in his as he drags you to sit onto his lap.
“You happier at work now guapo? Hm?”
The team collectively gasps when a pretty rose color makes itself evident across his cheeks as your hands run through his hair, tangling itself with the strands resting on the back of his neck.
“Mi alma...not in front of them.” he quietly whines while hiding his face on your shoulder.
“No way he's blushing right now,” Miles mumbles under his breath to Hobie.
Miguel shoots him a glare, his eyes glowing red as you let out soft coos and bring his head against your chest.
“Yah Miggy, cálmate por favor,”
You look over at the spider people standing around in your living room, getting up from Miguel’s lap and walking over to the fridge.
“Are you guys hungry?” you asked while looking over your shoulder and smiling at them.
“I didn't make enough dinner for all of us but I'm sure I can find something to cook real quick!”
“Amor, they were just leaving-” Miguel starts, but is cut off quickly.
“I could eat some food.”
“I'll take some water if that's okay!”
Peter walks over to Miguel’s food, grabbing a piece of food from his plate and humming in contentment when the flavors melt on his tongue.
“This is amazing! What seasonings did you use?”
Miguel can't even comprehend what's happening as everyone rushes over toward you, stealing your attention away from him. He takes a moment to let everything sink in as his eyes fall on you smiling and laughing while holding Mayday in your arms. His heart swells at the sight in front of him, feeling nothing but happiness at the fact that you get along with people he's grown close to over time. That happy little bubble he's in quickly pops when he sees Peter standing over the stove with Hobie and Miles, eating the food you cooked as if they haven't eaten in years.
“Please, have some. We insist.” Miguel said under his breath, his arms crossing over his chest.
“Fank…you!” Miles said with a mouthful of food. Homie and Peter followed him giving him a thumbs up with a smile.
Miguel takes a deep breath, his hands flying to his face pinching the bridge of his nose as he makes his way over to you while mumbling under his breath.
“No puedo mas, no puedo mas, no puedo mas.”
He smiles as Mayday jumps from your arms into his, his hands finding their way under her tiny arms as he lifts her into the air laughing with her.
“Do you really need your daddy Mayday? I'm sure you can stay with me and mi vida, no?”
Mayday laughs, her hands loudly coming together as she claps, then puts her hand into her mouth when Miguel settles her onto his shoulders.
Peter quickly gulps down the food that was in his mouth as Gwen lets out an awkward chuckle.
“Something tells me we’ve overstayed our welcome…”
Peter nods his head quickly, snatching Mayday off of Miguel and offering you a smile.
“Yeah, we should head out soon, pretty sure MJ is cooking lasagna tonight.”
The rest of the group walked toward the window they entered in, their heads looking over their shoulders waving goodbye to you as they thank you and hope to meet again soon. Miguel wraps his arms around you from behind as he watches them all filter out the room one by one, swinging their way back home.
He sighs and rests his head on your shoulder.
“Everything okay Miggy?” you ask quietly as you reach out behind you to play with his hair.
He nods his head, his arms squeezing you just a bit tighter as he starts to leave kisses where your shoulder and neck meet.
“Just tired cariño, even when I'm away from work I can't escape them.”
You chuckle and turn around to face him, your arms draping around his shoulders as you place a kiss on his cheek.
“They just wanna see what's got you so happy at work now guapo,” you whisper quietly. “They’re your friends and they love you.
Your hands come to rest on his cheeks, your thumbs gently caressing his skin. He leans into your touch, a small scoff leaving his lips.
“They aren't my-”
“They are your friends.” you lean up a bit to gently place a kiss on his lips, smiling when you pull away and watch him follow your lips.
“They're your friends and you love them, Miguel.”
He smiles, placing another kiss on you as his hand tangles itself in your hair, attempting to bring you closer to him.
“Fine,” he mumbles, pulling away with a smile. “They're my friends and I love them, but not as much as I love you.”
Your hands slide down to his chest and grip the shirt he's wearing, bringing him closer to you, ready to get lost in the feeling of him before a voice breaks you both away.
“Awe, we love you too Miguel.”
“Pinche cabrón- Parker! Go home!”
#i thought this was cute#idk man....#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara imagine#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara fluff#miguel o'hara atsv#miguel o'hara across the spiderverse#atsv x reader#atsv fluff
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texas sun - joel miller x f!reader - vol. xiv
series masterlist | series playlist | writing masterlist | previous chapter |
chapter summary: The final chapter
pairing: joel miller x f!reader
words: 9.2k (I love being insane)
chapter warnings: SMUT (18+only) - unprotected sex. Insecurity/Jealousy. Angst/arguments. Discussions of death, blood and injuries. Alcohol & Marijuana use. Fluff. Bisexual reader (happy pride ya'll!). As always please dm for more specifics.
a/n: This could probs use another round of proofreading but it would've delayed this even longer sooooo.... Here we go! I feel pretty emo right now and I might make a more in-depth post about my thoughts at a later date bc I just finished writing this in a hot daze so I can't put all my thoughts coherently together. But I just wanna say thank you to everyone who supported and gave love to this story. This is by far the most popular fic I've ever written, and I don't really know how? Or what I did to deserve all the love but I just want you to know how much I appreciate it. Thank you for sticking with me through all the angst and delayed updates and everything. I'll never forget you and I'll never forget Joel x Reader!! Thank you so much, I hope the finale lives up to your expectations! ❤️
**I DO NOT HAVE A TAGLIST. Please follow @ftcwriting and turn on notifs if you would like to be notified when I update my works :) **
I’m not the kind of man who tends to socialize
I seem to lean on old familiar ways….
-May 16, 2024-
“Are you sure you’re okay if I leave you here alone?”
Ethan’s voice jolts you out of a daze, and you blink your eyes open, realizing that you’d dozed off while sitting upright in a patio chair, the cheesy romance novel you’d been reading still lying open on your lap. Turning to look over your shoulder, you find him standing with one foot on the deck, and one foot still inside, cut in half by the sliding glass door.
Clearing your throat, you straighten up and nod. “Of course. I’ll be fine.”
Ethan studies you carefully, like he’s not entirely convinced. He’s been hesitant to leave you alone unless it’s absolutely necessary – only stepping away from the house to go on patrol shifts and to bring home meals from the mess hall. Recovery has made you feel like a burden to him – to all your friends in the community, really. Everyone….well, almost everyone, has been supportive, but you’ve never been comfortable being openly vulnerable.
Unfortunately, it’s too hard to deny the pain that you’ve been in since the accident, the trouble you have getting around, the exhaustion that clings no matter how many long naps and twelve-hour nights of sleep you get. According to the doctors, being so tired is just part of recovery – rest is important, but the concoction of pain medication you’ve been prescribed only makes your drowsiness and confusion worse. It had been a big deal that tonight you’d mustered the energy to drag yourself outside to sit in the fresh air.
“I’m fine,” you assure Ethan, once again. “Have fun on your date.”
“It’s not really a date,” he says, almost a little too quickly. “We’re just hanging out.”
“Right,” you say, matter-of-factly. “Do I know who this person is?”
Ethan looks at his feet. “You remember the day this shit happened?” he asks, gesturing towards you. “Before you left on patrol, the girl that said hi to me? It’s her. Her name is Alex.”
“Oh?” you tilt your head, give him a small smile. “She was cute. How’d you ask her out?”
“Well,” he begins, scratching the back of his neck. “I may have…uh, gotten some advice.”
“You didn’t think to ask me?” you’re able to muster up a small smile.
“I would’ve, I just…..” he shakes his head. “It seemed stupid…with everything you have going on.”
“It’s not stupid,” you say, feeling a wave of guilt. Even though he’s the one looking after you, you haven’t spoken to him much about anything going on in his life. In fact, you haven’t really spoken to anyone in a long time, beyond thank you’s and blanket statements like I’m doing better. You feel disconnected, and more lonely than ever. If you ever get enough energy to leave your house, you expect most of the people in the community to have forgotten you exist. “Who’d you ask?”
“Uhm….” Ethan runs a hand through his long dark hair, shifts his weight. “….I’ve been assigned on patrol with Joel Miller a lot lately….so….”
You almost laugh when he uses Joel’s full name. Joel has been such a huge part of your life – sometimes the hero, sometimes the villain – that you don’t need to hear his last name to know who Ethan’s talking about. You could know a thousand Joel’s, and he’d still be the first person that came to mind. But Joel is still a sore subject, and Ethan knows it, which is why you suspect he’s avoided telling you this in the first place. You feel your eyebrows knit together, only able to let out an unenthused. “Oh.”
“I just, you know….he’s a guy. And it sounds like you even liked him at one point so….he must know something, right?”
“That was a long time ago,” you say quickly, regardless of the fact that he’s right.
It’s probably not fair to blame Joel for everything that has happened to you. You know this, deep down. But you’ve been so helpless and isolated since you’ve woken up in that hospital bed that you’re desperate to find someone to hold accountable. And Joel hadn’t visited you in the hospital once. By this point, he’s abandoned you so many times that your resentment feels justified, even if your current state is not directly his fault. Because it was you, after all, who had walked into the path of those men, too angry to think clearly, too weak to take them down alone. The only person you can blame is yourself, and you really don’t want to.
“Did he tell you to take her out on patrol, make her cry, and almost get her killed?”
Ethan clicks his tongue, looks down, almost ashamed. “No. He did not.”
“You should be careful with Joel,” you warn.
“I was…” Ethan says. “But I don’t think it’s that simple. I think he’s actually alright.”
“So you’re friends with him now,” you state, hoping he refutes. But instead, he looks up at you, frowns, and lifts his chin.
“What happened to you was horrible. It shouldn’t have happened. And yeah, maybe you think he’s the reason you almost died…. I don’t know the specifics so you can believe whatever you want. But I know that he’s the reason you’re still alive.” Ethan’s voice breaks, and you feel tears brimming your eyes before he continues. “He brought you back here, he donated his blood, he-”
“What?” you cut him off.
“What do you mean, what?” Ethan asks. “He was the only person there who had your blood type. You would’ve died if he didn’t. They didn’t tell you this?”
“Whatever it took to make him feel less guilty, sounds like,” you say, dismissively.
Something hot burns in your veins, something that must have always been there since you woke up, but you’re only feeling it now. It’s unsettling, Joel being a part of you that way. Your lives had already seemed intertwined enough already. But now, he’s inescapable.
“Well, he stayed by your side every night while you were asleep. Fuck, I mean, he was probably there just as often as I was. He made sure I ate, and slept and showered and… and he never once asked for anything in return. He cares about you as much as I do, clearly, so I don’t think it’s wrong to think he’s a good guy….”
You must not care about me that much, you want to say, but you stop yourself. Because it’s not true, and you’d only be saying it to hurt him. You have nothing to defend yourself with, no way to convince him otherwise, and so you just stare at him until he shakes his head and slips back inside.
Ethan is stubborn, he always has been. And it’s a special kind of stubbornness, fueled by anger – so common in most of the young people you meet these days. You understand why they’re all like this. When you’re robbed of your childhood – you get stuck there….waiting….. Like someday you’ll have a chance to do it all over again, regardless of how obvious it is that you won’t.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
-May 25, 2024-
Things get better, albeit slowly. You begin to wean off the pain medication, which makes you more alert. It’s still difficult to leave your house, but you can move around it more easily, and you don’t spend all your days sleeping. Luckily, you aren’t as stir-crazy as you’d been expecting.
One afternoon, Ellie Williams shows up on your doorstep with a bag full of groceries.
“Maria wanted me to bring these to you,” she says when you open the door. “She told me to tell you she’ll be over tomorrow, but she wanted me to give you these to tide you over.”
“That’s very nice. Thank you for bringing them to me,” you try to take the bag from her hands, but she steps back just a little, like she’s unsure if you should be carrying anything. You let your hands drop to your sides. “Would you like to come in?”
Ellie hesitates for a split second, adjusting the bag in her arms, and then nods. “Sure.”
Stepping to the side, you allow her into the home. Because of how warm it is outside, you’ve opened all the windows to let the breeze through.
“Sorry for the mess,” you say, Ellie following you into the living room. There are stacks of books and pill bottles with instructions scattered on your countertop. You haven’t swept the floors in awhile and all the hard surfaces are covered in a thin layer of dust. It’s not really that bad, but you don’t have the energy or strength to be on your feet for long – let alone to clean the house.
“I don’t mind,” Ellie says. “It’s not even that bad. I don’t know why older people worry about leaving your house messy and shit….no offense.”
“There was a time it used to matter,” you tell her. “And I see where you’re coming from, but my thing is – if you’re going to live somewhere, you should do what you can to make yourself feel comfortable.”
Ellie purses her lips, as if you’ve made a good point but she doesn’t know how to answer. Instead, you continue. “Can I get you anything? Water?”
“No, I’m okay,” she puts the bag on your kitchen counter.
“You can sit if you’d like,” you tell her. “I just need a moment to put these away.”
When you walk into your living room a few minutes later, she’s hovering near your record player, looking through the vinyls. The turntable was already in the house when you’d arrived years ago, but it was buried in the closet and broken. Ethan had managed to fix it after a little troubleshooting and scavenging for parts. Now, you both were always looking for records to bring home, and had amassed quite the eclectic collection – jazz, funk, hip-hop, and everything in between.
“Wow,” Ellie says, running her fingers along the shelved records. “You found all these?”
“Some of them were already here. But yeah. Ethan and I are always on the lookout on patrol. I can play you something. What do you like?”
“Eighties, I think,” she says. “But…I also haven’t heard as much.”
“Well here,” you thumb through the records, pull out a worn copy of Speaking In Tongues. “How about some Talking Heads?”
You pass the record over to her, and she stares at you blankly. It’s only then that you realize — she’s never used a record player before. There’s a familiar pang of sadness before you show her how.
“Are you feeling better?” Ellie eyes you wearily once the music starts, and you settle onto the couch, feeling a little worn out after being on your feet.
“Yes,” you say. “I’m older now, so it seems like healing takes a lot more time.”
Ellie nods, then bobs her head to the music a little. “This is better than most of the stuff Joel likes.”
“Oh yeah,” you smirk, and instinctually, you recall his enthusiasm for all things old-school country. “I remember that,” you say softly.
With so much time on your hands lately, you’ve found yourself thinking of Joel a lot, reminiscing on the time you’d spent with him and Sarah. What Ethan had told you about him staying by your side was definitely making you reconsider your assessment of him, even if you were still hesitant. It was probably a trap to think you’d ever be able to feel those things with him again, but if remembering them brought you comfort, you weren’t going to resist it.
“You’re more than welcome to come over to listen anytime,” you offer, and she nods excitedly.
Ellie stays for longer than you expect. You talk a fair bit. She tells you about what she’s learning in school – but mostly how ‘fucking useless’ it is. She wanders around your living room and pokes through your stuff without asking, but you don’t think to stop her – you just answer her questions and let her be curious.
Eventually, the sun dips below the horizon, and she excuses herself to go home, insisting that Joel will ‘fucking kill her’ if she’s out too late. Even though you’re exhausted after entertaining her for a few hours, you find it feels nice. Being on house arrest, essentially, had left your starved for connection outside Maria and Ethan.
You see her out the door before returning to your refrigerator to look for something to eat. Ethan will be back from patrol any minute, so it may be nice to make him something even if you have almost no energy.
But when there’s another knock on your front door, you’re shocked to see who you find staring on your porch.
Joel.
You almost forget to speak at the sight of him. It’s been weeks since your accident and he might as well have moved away from Jackson since you hadn’t seen him at all.
“Hey,” you say, tentatively, taking him in. He seems preoccupied – cheeks flushed, hair rumpled, and out of breath, like he had run all the way to get here.
“Have you seen Ellie?” he asks, not even greeting you in return. “I’ve looked everywhere and I-
“You just missed her,” you cut him off, not because you’re trying to dismiss him, but because he's clearly distressed. “I’m surprised you didn’t see her on your way over.”
Joel sighs, eyes closing in relief. “Thank God.” For a second, you glimpse the frazzled and overworked father you used to know. “She stayed out too late, had me worried sick.”
“She’s fine,” you say. “Although she did say you might kill her if she didn’t get home soon.”
Joel gives you an almost imperceptible smile, but seems mostly irritated by Ellie’s suggestion. “I would do no such thing.” He shakes his head and takes two steps backwards. “Thank you. Didn’t mean to be a bother.”
Your mind floats to a memory of Joel on your front porch, late getting home from work and looking for Sarah, and you can’t help but feel a bit of sadness and longing for a simpler time, a surge of affection.
Joel is halfway down your front porch steps when you speak again. “You aren’t bothering me.”
He pauses, turns to look over his shoulder. There’s something he wants to say, you can feel it, and you step outside, letting the door fall shut behind you and remaining huddled against the siding, and he turns to face you fully, sighing. “I’ve been meaning to stop by, actually….”
“Oh…really?” you can’t keep the surprise from your voice, and he notices.
“Yeah,” Joel rubs his fingers together, a nervous habit of his you know all too well. “Yeah. I- well, I wanted to apologize to you.”
You’re so startled by the words you can’t answer right away. But the split second of hesitation causes Joel to continue, looking to fill the empty space.
“I’ve been waiting to find the right thing to say….but it doesn’t seem like that’ll ever happen. I’m not even sure I know where to start.”
“Oh,” is all you can manage, still taken aback. The only thing that doesn’t surprise you about his admission is the sincerity. You could say a lot of things about Joel, but he isn’t a liar. He always tells the truth. Maybe it’s why he pulled away from you to begin with. It’s easier than the alternative – spending time with you, which would force him to be honest. For how much you’ve changed, you’d probably do the same.
But the thing with Joel is that you’re exhausted. You’re tired of the back and forth, of the push and pull, of the constant struggle to hold your care over each other's head, hoping the other will break first. Maybe this is a fresh start.
You step closer to him, and you see him study the way you move. Of course, you’re trying to look strong, but he can surely sense the weakness. He’d always been good at that, better than any of the others. Your hand comes to rest on the porch railing for support.
But…..
There’s that voice in the back of your head, the one that tells you this is a mistake. The one that reminds of the pain you’ve often earned through vulnerability. It likes to think it’s served you, protected you, and it has. But it’s not always right.
“I suppose I owe you an apology, too,” you say. “At the very least I should thank you for what you did.”
Joel shakes his head, dismissively, but looks to where your hand rests on the porch railing, looks back up to you as he reaches out. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”
His hand clasps over yours, and to anyone else, this might be nothing. It’s so innocent, unassuming. But the effect it has on you is palpable. He squeezes once, and you flip your hand over, squeezing his back, giving him a gentle smile. “I am too.”
Joel’s eyes fill with a warmth you haven’t seen in twenty years, and your stomach flutters, your heart races. A part of yourself that you’d considered long dead seems to rouse.“Would you like to stay for dinner?”
“I told Ellie we’d go to the mess hall together,” Joel says. “Otherwise I would.”
You blink once, and Joel sees it, immediately continuing on. “But maybe Ellie and I can come another time, join you and Ethan?”
“Yeah. He’d like that,” you say. “That might be nice.”
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
-June 20, 2024-
You think that at the end of a long winter, bears must hate coming out of hibernation.
It must suck. They spend months sleeping, doing almost nothing, and then suddenly they’re forced to function again – to hunt, to eat, to roam, to survive and socialize. You imagine there has to be a learning curve, a desire to crawl back into their den and never leave again.
Or maybe you could be wrong, and they love it. And you’re just a wimp who hates feeling uncomfortable.
All you know is that you’re huddled in the back corner of the Tipsy Bison, nursing a whiskey – and it’s the last place you want to be.
You’re overwhelmed.
And despite the fact that you regularly used to attend community events, it’s been so long since you've been out in Jackson that you feel like you don’t belong. To some extent, you’ve always felt this – too hardened by the outside world to fully assimilate, especially when the town throws dances. But in the past, you at least attempted to convince yourself otherwise.
Two weeks back, the doctors had cleared you to go about your daily activities as normal – within reason, of course – but you hadn’t exactly jumped at the opportunity. Tonight, Ethan had accused you of becoming ‘antisocial’ and ‘reclusive’. You had agreed to attend – but only to beat those allegations. So far, you are definitely not.
You scan the crowd, taking in the people spinning around the dance floor. Some of the women are wearing dresses. You can’t help but feel a little envious of how easily they’re able to perform femininity, which is something you’d given up on a while ago. It hadn’t exactly served you before arriving in Jackson, and you predict it would be humiliating to start trying now. After all the things you’d experienced, you were left marred with scars and wrinkles, stretch marks and loose skin. Since then, you’ve remained loyal to the combination of men’s denim and tank tops with flannel-button downs overtop.
It doesn’t always stop the men in the community from descending like vultures. You might be the last pick – there are plenty others who are younger and prettier – but you’re still an option. Bea, your old partner, had always theorized that some men were particularly drawn to sapphic women, that it was ‘the ultimate challenge’. Maybe there is some truth to her theory, but you like men….sometimes. So there is always a part of you that yearns for their validation, for as many times as you tell yourself you don’t want it. But it never feels good to get it after you’ve watched them exhaust all their other options.
It’s pathetic, but it makes you think of Joel. He and Ellie had been over to yours and Ethans last week for a nice dinner, and you had tried to gauge whether there was any romantic connection between you still. Occasionally, you’d caught him looking at you with a wistful smile, but he could have been lost in thought. It’s not like you needed that from him or anything, but it might be useful information. After all this time, Joel is still so handsome, and probably has an impressive selection of potential partners here in Jackson – women of all ages. You hope he’s not here tonight – you can’t see much besides the dance floor at this point – because the thought of him cozied up to anyone here, combined with the acrid taste of the drink in your hand, makes you want to gag.
You take another look around the room. Eugene, your partner in crime – quite literally – is walking towards you, which helps quell your spiraling mind . If you talk to him, say hello to Tommy and Maria, maybe Ethan will see the effort you’re making and you can sneak out without having to deal with anyone. It’s wishful thinking, but it’s worth a shot. The sooner you can get home tonight, the better.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Joel can’t stop staring.
He knows it’s impolite. He knows that he’s not being subtle. He knows that if any other person in this bar followed his eyeline, they’d pick up on what he was doing in an instant. But every minute he doesn’t get called out for it, he becomes more and more emboldened.
It’s the first dance he’s ever been to in Jackson, and the only reason he’s here is to placate Ellie and Tommy. But even they have abandoned him in favor of better companions – his brother is deep in conversation with Maria, sitting across from him in a booth, and Ellie is out on the dance floor dancing with one of her new friends, Dina.
Joel just can’t help himself. He still feels guilty for what he’s done, but he can’t shake the feeling of a soft hand clasped within his own – the first time he’d felt any semblance of hope since arriving here. Tommy and Maria had already slyly let him know about all the women who were interested, but he couldn’t bring himself to entertain their advances. There’s only one he wants, and she won’t even look in his direction.
When he’d first noticed you, you were whispering with Eugene on the opposite side of the dance floor. According to Tommy, you spend a fair bit of your time with the old man, which Joel initially thought to mean that you had some sort of entanglement. At first, Joel thought that couldn’t be possible. But you were deep in focus as you listened to Eugene’s words, nodding and leaning in closer and closer, and Joel thinks Tommy might be right. He wants to understand what you see in this man – tall and unkempt, covered in tattoos with long, graying hair and a beard to match. But Joel catches himself in his judgment, he’s probably just as unappealing – not just because of how he’s aged, but because of how horrible he’s been to you in general.
The next time Joel sees you, you’re at the bar, chatting with a man who Maria had introduced him to not long ago, a resident who is new in town. Joel had been too busy focusing on the fact that he’d been in Jackson long enough to not be its newest resident that he couldn’t remember his name. He wishes he had, so he could keep tabs on him. Of course, he can’t blame the man for being drawn to you – Joel knows very well that you’re hard to miss in a crowd.
Still, Joel bristles when you both step away from the bar, and the man’s hand lands just above your sacrum. He actually finds himself tensing up, resisting the urge to intervene, because it’d likely only make you angry. Plus, maybe you are interested. That question is answered quickly when you reach behind your to clasp the man's hand and place it back at his side. Where it belongs, he thinks.
“Joel!”
He snaps his attention to what’s in front of him – interrupted, and probably for good measure, lest he get himself too worked up. Ethan approaches with a girl his age, her arm linked through his. Joel stands to greet them.
The terse understanding between himself and Ethan while you were still in the hospital had somehow turned into a friendship, especially after they’d begun getting paired up on patrol. Ethan reaches out for Joel’s hand to dap him up, slinging an arm briefly over his shoulder.
“How’s it going, kid?”
“Good, good,” Ethan nods, pulling back, and gestures to the girl next to him. “Joel, this is Alex.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” she says. “Ethan’s told me all about you.”
“Really?” Joel asks, feeling a little bewildered.
“Only good things,” Alex says quickly, as if she senses his apprehension. Ethan puts his arm around her waist. Joel recalls a few weeks back when he’d asked for advice on how to ask out a girl. Joel hadn’t pried at the time, but now he seems to understand, and is surprised by the swell of pride he feels. “Ethan says you’re a fucking badass,”she giggles after she swears.
Joel looks over at Ethan. “I don’t know about that.”
He shrugs, changes the subject. “Since when do you come to these things?” Ethan asks.
“Ellie dragged me out,” Joel answers.
“I did the same with my aunt,” Ethan chuckles. “But now I can’t find her, and I’m pretty sure she’s escaped.”
“Oh, is she here?” Joel plays dumb, like he hasn’t been aware of exactly where you have been all night. “I haven’t seen her.”
“I think she was with Eugene earlier,” Alex has to stand on her toes to speak into Ethan’s ear. Joel watches Ethan’s nose wrinkle.
“Do you know Eugene at all?” Ethan turns to Joel. “I’m trying to figure out what’s going on there, but she won’t say anything.”
Joel wishes that he had more information. “Tommy says they seem close.”
“I know that,” Ethan says. “I wish she would just be honest with me. It’s not like I would be mad. Whatever,” he shakes his head. “We can talk about it another time. I just want to find her so I can introduce her to Alex.”
“We should say hi to Tommy and Maria first,” Alex says, and Ethan nods in agreement before saying goodbye to him. Joel claps a hand on Ethan’s shoulder as he moves past him, and Alex gives him a shy smile in acknowledgement.
Focusing back on the crowd, Joel realizes that you’ve vanished in the short span of his last interaction. Maybe you’d rejected that guy, and then he’d retaliated. Maybe you’d gone home with Eugene. Joel shakes his hand. It’s none of his business. He doesn’t need to get involved. It’s not his job to look after you, regardless of how much better he feels when he does. Old instincts. He can’t help himself.
He settles on watching Ellie and Dina spin each other around on the dance floor. Eventually, Tommy and Maria, then Ethan and Alex all trickle out of the booth to go get another round or head to dance. Joel stands to release the booth to someone who actually needs it – and is left in the corner, nursing a nearly empty beer that’s now flat and warm. He looks towards his family and friends, but for some reason, he still feels alone.
Joel isn’t sure how long he stands sulking, but he starts when someone approaches from behind.
“Having fun?”
You’re a pace or two back, one thumb hooked through a belt loop, a whiskey in your opposite hand. Joel looks back at the crowd a moment, then at the ground. “No.”
“Neither am I,” you commiserate, stepping alongside him.
Joel considers offering that Ethan was looking for you, but selfishly does not want to give you a reason to leave, so he stays quiet. You observe the dance floor like he is, smiling slightly at the sight of Ethan and Alex dancing. The flannel you’re wearing over a gray tank hangs loosely off one shoulder, and Joel wants to reach out and touch the exposed skin. You take your last sip of whiskey, bring a finger to swipe under your bottom lip, and Joel wishes he knew what you might taste like right now. He scolds himself for fantasizing.
You don’t speak either, and you stand in silence for a while, until you eventually pop your hip, shifting closer to him. Maybe you don’t realize it, but you’re already standing so close that your arm gets pressed up against his. Neither of you acknowledge the contact, but Joel is acutely aware of how your skin burns hot against his own. He feels comforted by the affection, even if it’s unintentional.
“Want to leave?” Joel asks, and can hardly believe that the words came out of his mouth, even if he wanted them to.
You look over at him, not bothering to hide your surprise, but your expression evens out quickly, and you give him a single nod. “Yeah.”
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Joel’s still not convinced this is real. It feels too much like a dream, the weather outside is so pleasantly warm it feels like he’s floating as you walk down the street. He had never expected you to agree to leave with him, and now he doesn’t know what to do, or what to say.
The greater distance you put between yourselves and the bar, the quieter the town is. Most of Jackson’s residents are at the dance, save for the guards at the front gate and the handful of people that had been mingling just outside.
He heads in the general direction of the neighborhood, even though he lives on a different street.
“What are we supposed to do now?” you wonder out loud, and you sound a little incredulous, like you’re equally as shocked to find yourself beside him. The question carries a bit more weight than it would have coming from anyone else.
Joel contemplates. He’s not sure what he wants from you – there are a lot of things, actually – but he doesn’t know if he really deserves any of them. For now, your companionship is more than enough.
“You’re welcome to come back to mine,” he offers. “But if you’re looking to keep drinking, all the booze is back at the bar.”
“I’m good.” You shake your head like you’re uninterested, but look over at him with a sparkle in your eye. “I have something better….”
You reach into the pocket of your flannel and produce a rolled joint between two fingers, looking over your shoulder. “Those dances are usually terrible, so I always come prepared.”
Joel can’t help the chuckle that escapes him, and the sheepish grin he gets in return makes his cheeks feel warm. “Where’d you even get that?”
“You’ve never been on patrol with Eugene, have you?” you ask. “He has a place just out of town where he grows it. I’ve been helping him since we first got paired up, and in exchange, I get to sample the supply.”
Of course. Joel would’ve never imagined that was the reason you were so close with Eugene, but it suddenly makes incredible sense. He shakes his head in a combination of relief and amusement. “You really haven’t changed.”
“Oh, I’m sure I have,” you answer, smiling to yourself and looking at the ground. “But of course I haven’t shaken all my bad habits.”
“That’s not true,” Joel mutters.
“Well, you haven’t changed either, for as much as you’ve tried to convince me,” you nudge him gently, offering him the joint. “What do you think?”
Joel plucks it from between your fingers and puts it between his lips. “I think I have a lighter at home.”
“Sounds perfect.”
In the front hallway of his house, you slip out of your tennis shoes, shuffling behind him in your socks, pausing occasionally to study some of the doodles that Ellie had drawn and hung on the walls – it wasn’t exactly a priority to decorate these days, but they certainly livened up the place. He knows how much Ellie likes you, despite the fact that she doesn’t gush, but the odd comment here and there says as much. Joel remembers how difficult it had been to keep Sarah away, and Ellie now is no different. He doesn’t seem to be able to help himself, either.
You sit next to Joel on his wicker couch, curling your feet up under you as he lights the joint and study him while he takes the first few puffs. He does it without thinking. That’s how soft Jackson has made him. Normally, he’d be too stressed about being out of his wits. But he can’t see how hypervigilance has served him since settling down. He feels safe here, and somehow especially because he’s with you.
When he passes the joint your way, you look at him wistfully. “Old times,” you say with a grin.
Joel nods as he exhales, coughing. “Old times.”
“Oh yeah,” you say, as if you just remembered something. “You can’t tell Ethan about this. He doesn’t know, and he will give me shit about it. I need him to take me seriously.”
Joel shakes his head. “Well, you know, it sounds like he and Tommy both think you and Eugene are together.”
“What?” your head jerks forward in shock, eyes going wide. “Oh my god, no. Do people think that?”
“I’m just sayin’,” Joel wants to mention how he had seen you whispering to each other at the bar earlier, but then realizes it’d give a bit too much away. “That’s what they think.”
“Well....historically speaking I might’ve liked older men…. but not that old.”
Joel purses his lips. “You’ve lived here awhile, huh?” When you nod, he continues. “Has no one caught your eye?”
“Uhm….not really. But….” you trail off, looking into Joel’s backyard. “To be completely honest, I don't think about that much these days. I guess I feel like I have a lot to be grateful for. I don’t want to push it.”
Joel understands, and nods pensively.
“What about you?” you ask.
“I guess I feel the same.”
That causes you to smile a little bit, look over at him. “I bet you already know this. But the women here would line up down the block for you.”
Joel can’t help but roll his eyes, though he wonders if you would, too. Even if you did like him, that didn’t seem like your style.
“I’m serious. I’ve heard the things they whisper behind your back. All their fantasies about you are pretty creative...”
“Fantasies?” He grimaces. He imagines none of them know anything about who he really is. You’re the closest thing, and all he’s done is hurt you. “I’m sure you were quick to set them straight.”
“I don’t say anything,” you say, then continue on, a little quieter, looking at him from under your lashes. “I like to keep you to myself.”
Joel isn’t sure how to respond to that. You have every right to tell all of them that you were once together, and all the ways he’s hurt you since. Yet for some reason, you’ve chosen to protect him.
“So….all this time….” you wonder. “You had to have been with other people, right?”
Joel doesn’t think to hold back. “I had a partner for a long time. Tess. First, it was all business, I helped her smuggle things in and out of the Boston QZ…and then, I don’t know….we got along, we trusted each other and…” Joel trails off, hoping you’d put together the rest before he has to go into too much detail. “She was real fuckin’ tough. Scared me a little at first. You would’ve liked her.”
“Well, we already have one thing in common. What happened?”
“She’s the whole reason I ended up out here….with Ellie,” Joel explains. “But I lost her a little over a year ago.”
He hopes you don’t ask how. Maybe someday he’d be willing to go into detail, but talking about it generally is hard enough as it is. But fortunately, you seem to pick up on his hesitance. “I’m sorry, Joel,” you say softly.
He shakes his head. “I was an asshole. To her. I should've....after Sarah died I didn’t want to get attached, so I kept her at arms length and I... I wished I hadn’t in the end. It only made things worse.”
“Yeah,” you nod, look down. “I’ve made that mistake before.”
Joel doesn’t want to linger any longer on the memory. “What about you? Were you with anyone?”
“Uhm, yeah,” you fidget, looking uncomfortable. “I had a partner….for like ten years."
Ten years? He had been with Tess for more, but something about that information feels jarring. He’s shocked Tommy never told him this. Did Tommy even know? Suddenly, it dawns on Joel everything that could’ve happened to you since you’ve been apart. Entire lifetimes. And he’d said such horrible things when you’d fought. He remembers your face when he’d told you that you didn’t know what it was like to lose a child. Maybe you had. He’d been so cruel and inconsiderate just because he was uncomfortable.
His throat feels tight, almost scared to learn anymore. “What…what was his name?”
“Well, Bea….was her name.”
Joel is sure he doesn't hide the shock well. “Sorry, I didn’t know…”
“Yeah,” you say. “I don’t think I did either. Well, I sort of did, but I was too young I think when I first realized to make any sense of it, but…. I met her and…yeah,” then, you smirk. “I mean, I went to an all-girls school and I had a really bad relationship with my dad so…it definitely makes sense. ”
Joel considers this, smiles along with you. “But anyways. Her and I met shortly after my brother died and it was kind of the same. We kept each other alive, things developed from there. We ended up getting involved with this group who lived in the middle of nowhere. That’s a whole other story, but…” you wave your hand. “I loved her, and I lost her right before Ethan and I got here.”
Joel sees all the pain in your eyes, and wishes he could say something to take it all away. He knows he can’t. You look back out into the woods in his backyard, take a deep breath, and reach back towards the joint that you had put out not long before, lighting it again. Joel gets the sense that both of you had done the most amount of sharing possible for the time being.
“Look at us,” you take another drag before passing it over. “Old times.”
“Old times,” he repeats, a smile working its way onto his face.
“This used to be my favorite thing to do with you.”
“It was nice,” Joel agrees….hesitates before continuing. “But I can think of some things I liked better.” He gives you a knowing look, and you roll your eyes, laughing easily at his joke. It feels so good to make you laugh, to see you smile. Why had he spent so much time resisting?
“Touche.”
What happens next spills out of Joel so quickly he doesn’t think to stop it. “I tried to look for you….after all this happened. I didn’t have Sarah anymore, and I thought maybe….I don’t know. It was the only thing that kept me going for a while.”
“I did too,” you confess. “But…I was with Vincent and Ethan, and I felt like I couldn’t leave them alone for something that might just be…. I always hoped you both made it. And I’m so sorry she’s gone. I really did love her.”
“I know you did,” Joel reaches out to take your hand. “I know. And I shouldn’t have said those things I did. I’m still not sure why you’ve been so patient with me.”
“Hmm,” you shift so that you’re closer to him. “You waited around for me back then. It’s only fair that I’d wait around for you now. I want you in my life. I don’t care what that looks like. But it’s too hard to forget about a person that you loved.”
Joel wants as much from you as you’re willing to give, and he can’t tear his gaze away from you. But he wants you to see him, all of him, before he takes it.
“I’ve let a lot of people down. I’ve done a lot of h-horrible things,” his voice cracks, and tears well in his eyes.
“I have, too, you know? Those things still live with me. But I think what matters is who we are now,” you reach out, fingertips brushing the scar on his temple, and Joel swears that even if you don’t know the story behind it, you can see right through him. “And I know who you are.”
“I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have.”
“You won’t,” you say. “No more than anyone else has. And if it makes you feel better…when people hurt me, I’ve gotten pretty good at hurting them back.”
“If I do, I’d hope you would.”
“I will. I promise,” your thumb strokes his cheek, marveling at him. “I would suggest a blood oath or something but….I heard we kind of already did that…”
He’s given you every warning, every barrier, and you’re still here. He can’t believe it, and he doesn’t think he can hold back any longer. “Come here.”
He kisses you. He wishes that he could be slow and tender and gentle like he used to be – and certainly he’s still capable, but he realizes that he’s been depriving himself of something he wanted for so long, and can’t seem to control himself.
Your hands land on the side of his face, and he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you onto his lap. Maybe you’re somewhat taken aback by his urgency, you hum against his lips, but you don’t resist at all. Joel maneuvers you so you’re straddling his thighs, and he grips your hips, your ass, coasts his hands up your side. Your lips part in a moan, and he slips his tongue into your mouth.
For a while, he stays there, savors the taste of you, whiskey and smoke still lingering on your lips. His hands cup your jaw, feel your body, grip and squeeze and stroke and you let him, continue to let him. He tries everything, wondering if you’ll tell him to stop, if you’ll decide you’ve had too much, but you don’t. Then again, he should know by now that you’re a woman who knows what she wants. He just finds it’s hard to believe that he’s the thing you want.
You break away from him, just a little, and Joel presses his nose to your neck, kisses your pulse point.
“Should we go upstairs?” your voice is raspy and breathless. “Will Ellie be home soon?”
“Probably not for a while. We can be quick.”
“Hopefully not too quick,” you raise your eyebrows. Joel can’t help but laugh a little. He relishes in the way your hands rake up and down his arms, exploring him, touching him. Of course he wants you, but even just this would be enough. He’d be content with less, he hadn’t realized how starved of affection he’d been.
You’re able to pry yourselves off one another to make it up the stairs, and Joel guides you with a hand to the small of your back. When you get to his bedroom, he opens the door, but stops you before you go inside.
“Hold on,” Joel mutters, winding one arm around your waist, the other behind your knee.
“Joel, what-no, you’ll–” he pulls you into his arms.
“Do you really think I’m not strong enough?”
“I didn’t say that,” you chuckle as he carries you over the threshold and into the bedroom, breath puffing against him before he lays you down on the bed.
When he hovers over you, your fingers wind into his hair, nails raking against his scalp. He savors every sweet sigh he’s able to pull from you, hands cupping your breasts and squeezing your hips. You’re so pliant and open beneath his body, it makes it easier to not feel guilty about what he’s doing. He knows he shouldn’t feel guilty, you’ve said as much, but it might take some time before the feeling will die completely. Hopefully, he has enough time with you to see it off completely.
Clothes are removed quickly, intentionally, as you both bare more and more of yourself to each other. And while he wishes he could’ve been there to see the ways in which your body has changed, you’re still as beautiful as ever.
Joel, however, is hesitant to give himself away completely. When you tug at the hem of his shirt, he hesitates.
“I don’t know if-” he pauses. “If you want to see all that.”
“Joel,” you stare at him knowingly, kneeling across from him as he stands at the edge of the bed. “I do.”
So he releases your hand, and lets you pull it over his head. Carefully, you study him, his body littered with scars. He knows he’s not as in shape as you remember. These days, he hardly can look at himself in the mirror after a shower. He expects you to be disgusted, or at least see it flit across your face before you compose yourself, but you don’t. Your fingertips drag through the smattering of hair on his chest and down his torso, tracing several prominent scars – each one with a story – but you linger on the one at his abdomen, frowning.
He sees the question on your face, but you don’t ask it. Instead, you return to press yourself against him. “I’m so glad you’re still here….”
You kiss him, then, and Joel can only kiss you back.
Joel isn’t the only one with battle scars. Some of them he feels are his fault, but you seem less self-concious about them, which gives him a surprising amount of confidence. Maybe it’s just a reality of what happens when you make it this long.
When you’re finally bare beneath him, he admires how you look, stretched out and waiting, chest heaving and shivering with anticipation. He slides his hand between your legs – feels you already wet and warm, sinking two fingers inside. Your walls flutter around the intrusion, back arcing off the bed when you sigh out his name. Joel.
He’d forgotten how nice it felt to hear that.
Joel is already thinking about what he’d like to do to you next time. He’d be more careful, more patient. He’d bury his face between your thighs to see if you tasted as good as he remembers, he’d let your fingers curl into his hair. But right now you both seem desperate for the same thing.
He pumps his cock a few times with his hand, he can’t remember the last time he’d been this hard – the last time he’s wanted anyone this badly. Even with Tess, it had always felt like the both of them were hurrying to scratch an itch, her eyes would wander like she was thinking of other people, and maybe he was, too.
Joel lines himself up with your slick cunt, teases you a little, and you roll your body down to meet him, gasping when his blunt head slides in – just a little.
He can’t hold back. You practically suck him in, so tight and hot around him he finds it immediately overwhelming, but he doesn’t even think to pull out. Only when he’s fully seated inside you, and given you a chance to adjust, does he start to move.
It’s euphoric. You’re both older now, more mature, but he still remembers all the things you liked, even if it takes a moment for him to find the spot inside you that makes you cry out, legs wrapping around his hips.
Unlike before, you don’t bother trying to hide from him. You kiss him, hold him, touch him, look him in the eyes, tell him how good he feels – you don’t hold back. Joel relishes every word you say, clings to the praise and gives it back. Your lashes flutter when he tells you how pretty you look.
He can think of nothing else other than bringing you pleasure, can tell you’re getting close when you begin to rut against him, and he reaches down to let the pads of his fingers slide over your clit.
When you come, you whine his name, lock your lips with his own and he swallows your moans. The feeling of you so impossibly tight and wet and pulsing and squeezing him so tightly has him following closely after.
His head is still buried in the crook of your neck when you speak again. “God, I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too.”
The second Joel pulls out, he starts missing how close he felt to you. But you fix that by rolling over onto your stomach, curling up at his side, head on his chest, and arm across his stomach.
“Joel. Fuck, you’re so perfect.”
He’s far from it. But he’s starting to think if you say it enough, maybe he’ll start to believe it. He turns his head to kiss you gently, slowly. “So are you.”
“We can do this again, right?” you ask.
“Yes,” he says. “Yes, we can.”
“Good,” you settle back against him, and very slowly, he dozes off with you right beside him. He doesn’t want to sleep alone again, and luckily, he doesn’t have to.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
-December 4th, 2026-
When you return home from patrol, you find Joel in his living room – boots off and socked feet propped on the arm of the couch. You don’t notice his eyes are closed, that he’s asleep, until you get closer, see the book he’d been reading resting on his chest as he snores lightly. You can’t help but feel for him – he’s probably exhausted from constant patrols, so he must be tired.
But mostly, you’re just overwhelmed by the love you feel for him, catching him in a quiet moment of vulnerability. Hesitantly, you reach out and squeeze his foot. It’s gentle and tender enough that he blinks his eyes open and looks around, taking in his surroundings, rather than jolting awake like he often does. When he sees you on the opposite end of the couch, he melts back into the pillow he’s propped against.
“Hey, stud,” you lean against the arm of the couch.
“Hey,” Joel answers, voice still gruff with sleep. “How long was I out?”
“I don’t know,” you shrug. “I just got in.”
“Hmm,” Joel closes his eyes again, folds his hands across his stomach.
“You’re wearing the glasses I got you,” you point out. They’re simple. Rectangular black frames. You’d found them on patrol, and brought them home after Joel had been complaining that he could barely see when he read before bed. But he’d tried them on and insisted he hated the way they looked, so you’d ended up using them most of the time.
“They do work,” he grumbles, like he’s ashamed to admit it. “But I still think they look stupid.”
“You look like a sexy librarian,” Joel rolls his eyes, but you can tell he’s suppressing a grin. There’s always a bit of defiance about him, he can’t fully admit how you get him so flustered even after you’ve spent so much time together. You press your thumb into the arch of his foot and he groans. “That feel good?” you ask.
“Yes.”
“Whatcha reading?” You gesture towards the book.
“Some book about the moon landing,” Joel lifts it off of his chest, where it lay face down and open, looks at the back cover. “For Ellie.”
“How sweet.”
“It’s a little dry,” he deadpans. “But she likes this stuff.”
You shift your massage to his other foot. Joel stretches, his arms lifting above his head, the shirt he’s wearing rides up just so, so you see a sliver of his lower belly before it disappears again, throwing an arm over his eyes.
“Are you tired?” you ask.
“Always,” he says through a yawn.
“Me too,” you yawn along with him, since they’re contagious. He pulls the glasses from their perch on the bridge of his nose and shuts the book, placing them both on the coffee table in front of him. You take your hands off his feet and he sits up a little straighter, holding out his hand.
“Come ‘ere,” he says, and you do.
He grunts as you settle into his arms, head nestled against his chest, sprawling out almost on top of him, the only way you both can fit like this on the couch.
“You’re so warm,” you say softly, letting him wrap his arms around you.
“You’re cold. Your hands are freezing,” he holds them in his own.
“It’s cold out.”
“Don’t know why you left today.”
“Obligations. Patrol.”
“Fuck that.”
You laugh into his chest, pausing for a moment before speaking again. “You know, I think we might be boring.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Well, we don’t really leave the house. We spend all day reading. And we’re old.”
“We’re not that old.”
“But we’re getting up there.”
“Sure, but…” Joel trails off.
“Everything’s so quiet, so calm.”
“I think that’s what most people would describe as content.”
“Are you content?” you ask, lifting your head to look him in the eyes.
“I’m happy,” he says softly, tucking a piece of hair behind your ears. “Are you?”
“Of course.”
“Good. Then don’t worry about the rest.”
“Okay,” you settle back against your husband's chest, feel his lips brush your forehead.
His fingers search absentmindedly for the ring on your finger he’d found while clearing out a pawn shop not too long ago. The one he wore looked nothing like your own. But the marriage had been long overdue, and neither of you cared what the rings actually looked like.
Nowadays, you split your time between his place with Ellie, and your own with Ethan, but end up in his bed every night. At this point, you don’t think you could sleep without him.
Years ago, another lifetime, you’d had a conversation underneath a sky full of stars. You’d told him that for you, good things had never lasted. Joel had made a promise.
This will.
It took time. There was a lot of pain. But in the end, he had told you the truth.
-
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#i hope ya'll like this???#i feel like i am pretty proud of it tbh#AND TLOU 2 never happened!!!!#joel miller x reader#joel miller#joel miller series#joel miller imagine#joel miller fanfic#joel miller x you#the last of us#the last of us writing#tlou#tlou writing#pedro pascal#troy baker#tommy miller#joel miller fluff#joel miller x f!reader#the last of us hbo#tlou hbo#ellie williams#maria miller
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The F*ck List (semi-official) Breakdown.
The following was submitted by my lovely ☃️anon, & I needed to make this it’s own post given how long it is, my replies & clarifications are written in between this breakdown & theory (Ex: A/N > Etc.).
Here, you’ll find majority of details you may have missed & maybe even more to think about. Enjoy :)
(wc; 5.7k) (content; spoilers ofc)
holy shit Kami. i literally had to take the entire day to process everything. before anything else, i need you to know that you've created an absolute masterpiece. TFL was the first fic i ever cared to keep up with and it has set the bar impossibly high for any other writer out there. please take your time with TFL 2, i'm so excited to read your other work!! also a break sounds like it would be so good for your mind considering how long you've dedicated yourself to this story 😭😭😭 you're seriously impressive. heads up, i didn't proofread this at all bc i finished typing this at 4 am LMFAO so forgive me if it's all scrambled and makes no sense.
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A/N > Thank you for taking the time to write this breakdown, I seriously appreciate it so I wanted to take my time in responding to it & engaging with you :)
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now, on to the yap. i deadass cracked my knuckles before typing all this out.
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A/N > You’re so real for tht ngl
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i reread the entirety of TFL from chapter 1 and my brain is so melted from analyzing that i'll prob find more details tomorrow after i sleep on some theories 😭 BUT HOLY FUCK YOU REALLY WEREN'T KIDDING WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE HINTING AT GOJO'S OBSESSION SINCE LITERALLY THE FIRST CHAPTER??? the fucking hint being that "Gojo's desire for you is so strong it's almost frightening." GIRLLLLLL 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵
your foreshadowing and referencing is insane. idk if you intended a lot of it, but a lot of it caught my eye.
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A/N> I TOLD YOU GUYS IVE BEEN DOIN IT SINCE THE FIRST CHAPTER !! Okay not exactly but like there was a vibe I had from the first chapter & when I later came up with the twist & went back and saw that everything would connect perfectly ^.^
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chapter 7; the reader and Gojo have lighthearted banter about how the reader "started this" situation.
"I made a mistake." [reader]
"A good one."
"Bad one." You correct.
this was regarding a completely different situation but it baffled me how much it connects to the plot itself; the reader making the "mistake" of leaving her door open, and how it lead to months full of trauma and love. probably completely unintentional, but such a good detail.
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A/N > Very intentional btw, it’s supposed to be known that, in a sense, Gojo x reader is forbidden :)
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Choso's still staring at you intently, "What version of you would someone not like?"
The way he words his question only furthers that little feeling in your chest. It's almost as though he were implying that any and all versions of you would be acceptable in his eyes. - Chapter 16
THE WAY WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT CHOSO WOULD STICK BY US REGARDLESSSSSSSS AAAAAA WE'RE SO BLIND!!! i just hope this stays true to the sequel :')
"No, I wish you didn't have to hate me." He says, shutting his eyes again and sucking in a deep breath, "B-But... it's uh, It's okay. I can live with you hating me." - Chapter 21
AAAA WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!!! WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THIS WAS FORESHADOWING OUR FUTURE WITHOUT GOJO 😭😭😭 how he can live with the idea of the reader hating him so long as she's happy with Choso, especially considering his later revelations of how twisted his actions were and how if you stuck with him, he'd view you differently. fuck.
You despise the fact that he loves you. To you, it's almost entitled for him to feel like he has that right. How dare he hold such a strong emotion for you? If he felt this way, why is he forcing you to sleep with people for him? It makes no sense.
Why would someone claim to love you and put you through so much?
If he's been in love with you all this time, why start the list in the first place? Why couldn't he have just tried to win your heart from the beginning? Why the list? Why the blackmail? You don't understand him. - Chapter 23
i'm crushed. we didn't understand because we didn't know that Sukuna was involved. that could mean a million other things. i have some far-fetched theories about this but hear me out later!!!
the entirety of chapter 23 had me fucking floored while i was rereading. THE FORESHADOWING WAS EVERYWHERE!!! EVERY FUCKING WHERE
"No sweetheart, Sukuna's an asshole but..." His expression flickers and his smile fades away. He swallows and then clears his throat, "I'm pretty sure he'll satisfy you just fine."
...
You narrow your eyes at him, "Are you sure?"
...
"Fuckin' positive," Gojo suddenly sounds pissed and you grow concerned. The arm around you gets a little tighter while he walks you through some crowds and you keep looking at the man confused.
There's a vein popping out along his jawline because of how hard he's gritting his teeth.
of course he's aggravated because he knows that Sukuna is the one behind the list in the first place 😭😭😭 I'M SORRY WE DOUBTED YOU SATORU, FUCKKKK
——FIFTEEN MINUTES. That was the exact amount of time it took you to seduce Sukuna. The act was way too easy. Actually, it was suspiciously easy.
BECAUSE HE FUCKING KNEW 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
"What all did you plan on doing tonight aside from getting harassed by strangers?" Sukuna suddenly questions against your skin.
You ignore how close he is and the way his lips make you tense, turning your head to face forward. Chuckling at his last comment, "Same thing as everyone else here." You reply, slightly confused by his question.
"Bullshit," He utters, "Nobody dresses like this without the intent of gaining my attention," Sukuna claims while his hands slide back down along your body.
this 100% could be just him being cocky and Sukuna, but the recent reveal just makes this feel like an extra demeaning interaction. but of course, it's Sukuna.
chapter 24 is so fucking shady too with everything we know. i know you addressed some of these points already bc i brought them up in previous anon messages, but these things still had me paranoid;
the way Sukuna leaves us and tells the reader to go to his room after a certain amount of time (i know he could have just been tidying up real quick but everything about this man has me on edge)
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A/N> A lot of people are on edge about this but I’ll be honest, there’s nothing crazy that happens in between this time period. Not saying nothing happens but nothing crazy— it’ll be addressed later (in the next fic most likely)
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the way he's been consistently on the phone since the reader entered the room, which is shortly after she messaged Gojo saying that she'll be able to cross Sukuna off of this list by tonight which he wasn't happy with at all.
no seriously, he kept diverting his attention to something in the bathroom and then came out, still on his phone. maybe he's talking to literally anyone else but STILL I'M PARANOID
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A/N> This is to show the fact that Sukuna is a very socially active individual, & hints to the theory (I think you later state) that he has connections.
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this happens in chapter 25 but the way he keeps smiling while the reader kisses him is just so smug of him especially considering the original reason as to why the reader's even interacting with him
then the spicy chapters with Sukuna…
the foreshadowing that the lack of knowledge of Sukuna's reputation will come back to bite her in the ass; first with the knowledge that he is abusive, and then her finding out that he is the curator of the list, knowing the full details of her blackmail and even threatening her again.
WHO DID HE FUCKING FIGHT HELPPPPP MY MIND IS BOGGLING there's no way it's Gojo, right? they're both too unscathed in these next few chapters for there to have been a fight between the two of them.
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A/N > It’s not Gojo. 🙏
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THE FUCKING MOMENT WHERE HE CONTEMPLATED SOMETHING WITH THE PHONE IN HIS HAND??? I FUCKING KNEW IT. I FUCKING CALLED IT WAS SOMETHING SHADY AS HELL.
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A/N> The other Sukuna hint I was talking about is right before this moment btw, you’re welcome ;)
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then he has the audacity to hold his tongue right afterwards?? it's such a big hint towards the fact that he knew about the list from the beginning UGHHHHHHHH.
the way he tried to humor the reader about her "job" even though he was in on the whole thing. UGH. SUKUNA WHEN I GET YOU SUKUNA?? 👊👊👊👊 especially with that "whore" joke right afterwards. i can't stand him. i know that it's implied that he has a twisted view on women from having abusive women in his life (his mom and his ex who he punched) BUT STILL. he's so lucky he's fictional and hot.
the fact that we're able to pick up on the fact that it's a "crazy coincidence" that he continues the whore jokes UGHHHHH HE HAS BEEN PLAYING US FROM THE STAAAAAARTT
Gojo got upset at something from Sukuna's party, he didn't want you to call yourself a whore all of a sudden, Sukuna seems to have believed that was your actual job, and you remember how pissed Gojo seemed as he thought about you sleeping with Sukuna-
Holy fuck. Are the two connected somehow? Is something going on? What does Gojo owe Sukuna? Does Sukuna know you only slept with him as payment to clear Gojo's debt? Is-
GIRL YOU WERE ALMOST THERE!!!! YOU ALMOST HAD IT!!!
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A/N > I love teasing in my narration by nearly spoiling things 😹
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seriously though, these chapters killed me. the official end obliterated my heart. it's so fucking bittersweet i want to scream at the top of a high building. the reader ends up happy and with someone she loves, which is fantastic for her. she deserves that after everything she went through. Choso treats her so, so well.
but Gojo. with the theories i have, i feel horrible. i was so harsh towards him as a die hard Choso girly but these endings changed me. i just hope i'm right.
the fact that his healing journey is harsher than ours makes this ending sting so much. he's healed, and you can see it with his demeanor from the call and the way he interacted with the reader.
we were always made aware of the way he looked at us such deep attachment. the initial gleam shows that he's happy to see us, but that he's not reliant on us for his happiness anymore. he's finding that on his own, and it's a grueling process for him. i wished the reader gave him a hug, but that would probably make me feel even worse.
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A/N> He gave her a lil side hug (with his arm over her shoulder) & was resting his head on hers at the end if that makes you feel any better 😅
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"Through my blackmailing, I fell for you but I also did it because I loved you from the start." i'm gonna throw up bro i'm so sad. i'm proud of his growth. his obsession was so, so strong but he always prioritized the reader's happiness over himself. i know that being self-sacrificial is so core to his personality but it doesn't make it suck any less. i'm devastated. i started blasting mitski in the car on my way to work after reading this.
i thought i was ready for the journal burning. i was so ready for this tie to be severed, for them to finally move on. but i failed to realize that it could ultimately mean a life without each other. it makes sense as to why, but it still sucks.
kami i need that poly ending before i cry my eyes out at 4 am rn. you know i can't handle angst, but bittersweet endings lowkey hurt me even more. i need all my babies to be happy. i desperately need it.
but that alt ending... fuck. in a horrible, sick, and twisted way, i'm relieved. i'm a Choso girly from the bottom of my heart but i can't let this Gojo go omfg. even if he shows up for one more chapter, i think i'll be alright. BUT IT BETTER NOT BE FOR DEATH KAMI!!!! I HAVE A FEW EXCERPTS THAT SUGGEST DEATH FLAGS BUT I AM SIMPLY NOT LOOKING AT THEM. DON'T DO THIS TO ME KAMIIIIIII. i need this boy to be frolicking in a field of flowers or something. my heart can't take this.
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A/N> I know I reference death a lot but that’s just to add a sense of how dramatic the characters are 🫶
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okay, time for my mind-fucky theory. pls bare with me. if it wasn't obvious by my last post, i'm 100% on board with the theory that Sukuna's blackmailing Gojo, which started this whole thing. but the thing that is getting me is how this all connects. i have some assumptions that could make sense, but there are a handful of gaps. here's my thought process;
Sukuna's blackmailing Gojo by using his obsession/love against him.
we are already familiar with the fact that Gojo has liked the reader for years. there was a chapter where Gojo mentioned that it started off as a "crush" but he was so oblivious to his own obsession up until the reader mentioned it to him. it's to the point that he didn't understand what was wrong with the idea of hurting people for the reader. who's to say that Sukuna didn't catch him in some sort of heinous act regarding the reader like stalking?
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A/N > You’re cooking with this one and I almost, almost had to go get the fire extinguisher :D
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Gojo didn't understand the difference between love and obsession until later on in the story. this would be consistent with the implication that Gojo just loved her so deeply that his morals were askew as we have yet to find out how far his love goes.
what if Sukuna caught him in the act of doing god knows what, and brought up the fact that if the reader found out about this, that she'd get super freaked out and would do everything she can to get away from him (considering probably barely knew each other, if at all, at this point). but why would Sukuna devise such a plan over a money bribe? well, Sukuna's already revealed to be wealthy, and maybe he was bored. the same line that Gojo kept repeating to the reader whenever she questioned him as to why he did it. what if Gojo asked Sukuna why he's blackmailing him, and he said the exact same thing; "I was bored." we see how much Sukuna mirrors Gojo's speech by calling the reader "sweetheart" often, what if Gojo did the same thing?
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A/N > Gojo & Sukuna do have a few parallels in this story & they will be addressed more in the sequel.
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we wondered in chapter 23 how Gojo reaches out to these men to ensure their debt is "paid," but considering how oblivious everyone else on the list is to Gojo owing them anything, it would make sense that he only reports to Sukuna as he is ordered to do so. but two things stumped me on this theory overall.
the reader said that she used to party a lot and get involved with boys before Gojo. if he was stalking her for so long, why did he wait so long to approach her?
what specifically would be the blackmail that Sukuna has on Gojo?
regarding the first point, it's been mentioned that Gojo has been "scared of women" and was shy when it came to approaching the reader. he knew of her for so long, but was able to constantly slip under her radar. considering how much of a pervert he is, it wouldn't have been surprising for him to sneak around and watch in on the reader hooking up with other guys. after all, these guys were probably complete strangers to him and all he cared about was you. remember how Gojo was basically able to tune out his own best friend, Suguru, when the reader was hooking up with him in their living room? it wouldn't be wild to assume that he was able to do the same for your other hookups as he spied on you.
to connect this with second point, what if Sukuna caught Gojo being a peeping tom on the reader during a party hook-up? while being so distracted in the act of spying, Sukuna spots him. the reader wouldn't be alright with the fact that someone who's barely an acquaintance (if that, depending on the time this occurred) to her has been perving around and watching her have sex without her consent. she would do anything to get away from Gojo, and of course that would crush him. Gojo tried to buy Sukuna's silence by any means necessary. so, Sukuna generated a list of people that he and Gojo mutually knew for the reader to fuck. the reasoning for it would be the fact that Gojo has to sit through the process of having the girl he likes fuck a bunch of guys besides him, and the fact that Gojo knew all these men would make it sting more. plus, he has a reputation for hookups. (chapter 8)
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A/N > You’re like RIGHT there with it and yet not there at the same time omg 😟
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but why would Gojo agree to this deal with Sukuna, and why would he also go with the method of blackmailing the reader? it's basically a guarantee that the reader would be scared away regardless. but again, we could recall that Shoko mentioned that he was too "scared of women" to approach the reader at first. this was his chance to finally approach her. plus, "once that video is gone, there is no excuse he'll have to be around you." (chapter 8)
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but the more i thought of this reasoning for the two points, the more bizarre it felt. so what if instead of Gojo being a peeping tom, it was Sukuna. we get so many hints that Sukuna has eyes and intel everywhere. we get an indirect implication of this when he called us out for rolling our eyes during our phone call with him. yes, it could be completely by chance, but it's still a great hint that he "sees everything" and "knows everything." we get an even bigger hint towards this in the alt ending when he directly references The F*ck List.
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A/N > Others have taken note of how Sukuna knew she rolled her eyes but trust me, that’s just to show that Sukuna knows the reader’s body language more than he’s let on & paid attention to her a lot during the time they were together.
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it wouldn't be too far fetched to assume that he has some shady videos taken of people without his consent, some possibly acquired through other people (like how Gojo was revealed to have sent Sukuna the video of the reader from the first chapter). what if Gojo caught Sukuna with the video, threatened him to delete it, and Sukuna counterthreatened to have it be sent and posted everywhere. it would be highly ironic, but consistent with the way that Gojo and Sukuna practically mirror each other at times. the reasoning for the list choices would still be the same for this theory, too.
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my citations for these theories ☝️🤓
“You once asked me if I love you because I blackmailed you or if I blackmailed you because I love you and my answer is both,” Gojo confesses as he turns to meet your gaze, “Through my blackmailing, I fell for you but I also did it because I loved you from the start.” - Chapter 56
loved you from the start; his obsession has been consistent from the start (supports Gojo being a peeping tom theory) or he has always had a deep concern for you (supports him wanting to stop Sukuna from spreading blackmail of you instead).
“I’ve sacrificed everything for you, y’know.”
“How? What’s everything that you’ve sacrificed, hm?”
“You. I sacrificed the woman I love to make her happy.” Gojo admits, and of all he’s said thus far, that feels like the truest statement.
“I could’ve been happy with you.” You remind him.
He laughs, “Yeah well, I’m an idiot.”
You scoff, “That’s all you have to say?”
“Yup.” - Chapter 56
is he an idiot for being a peeping pervert instead of just approaching you normally? maybe. how does this make her happy? she ends up finding love through Choso, through the list, through the blackmail.
But deleting the video means ... he has no more leverage over you and can't force you to help him with the hole he's dug for himself. - Chapter 8
the hole being the blackmail set against him by Sukuna.
Gojo's behind you cursing at himself for being unable to tell you the truth.
He's so scared that you'll never help him without the blackmail and, well, he has every right to be because you're pretty sure that if it weren't for those videos he has over your head, you wouldn't be doing any of this. - Chapter 9
the videos he's referencing is the original video from chapter 1 and the fake video he lied about with Suguru, but he can't tell the reader the truth because it's too twisted and risky (supports Gojo peeping tom theory).
He silences himself in thought. There are so many ways he could go about answering such a question but the possibilities of how you may react are endless. Plus, you're drunk and if he's going to admit or explain anything to you, it'll be while you're sober.
"Because..." Gojo's voice gets so quiet that you almost don't catch what he says, "...I don't have any other choice." - Chapter 21
if he didn't go through with his list, Sukuna would have went through with Gojo's blackmail, thus resulting in either you getting as far away from Gojo as soon as possible or Sukuna's video being sent around.
He let something slip abruptly, "W-Wish I c-could tell you everything, sweets..."
Your brows furrow at that.
Are you missing something here? - Chapter 22
YES GIRL!!!! SUKUNA'S BEHIND THE WHOLE LIST, HE'S BEHIND THE BLACKMAIL GIRLYPOP
"Anything," Gojo says, meeting your gaze. He's so serious that it's almost dark the way he looks at you, "I'd do anything for you." - Chapter 29
"I meant it when I said I'd do anything for you."
You follow his motions and then end up right back in his arms, "Right..."
"I'd sacrifice the very thing I love just to see you happy." Gojo claims proudly.
You scoff, "Thought' I was the thing you loved?"
"You are."
His words bewilder you, "Then that makes no sense."
"It won't." Gojo shrugs. - Chapter 29
🧍♀️
anything. even if it means putting your body, heart, mind, and career on the line. directly supports the theory that Sukuna initially had blackmail on the reader.
"We're the same, y'know..." He suddenly says, his voice breaking again, "We both want someone so terribly bad but our situations prohibit us from getting that person."
"You could've prevented all this though..."
Gojo sniffles and you feel a drop of wetness slide down his cheek and slip against your palm. The man was crying? Why? - Chapter 30
this whole time we've been told that Gojo and the reader share more similarities than the reader realizes. what Gojo is to the reader, the reader is to Choso. while Choso now knows of the men that the reader slept with, he doesn't know why. he doesn't know about you being blackmailed. you know that you had to sleep with these men. you don't know why. you didn't know it was because of Gojo being blackmailed.
"For loving me, Satoru. It's not a crime," You say, mocking a comment he made to you earlier, "You're allowed to love me. So, for that, and that only, I forgive you."
Those words healed so many more wounds in his heart than you realized. It was like that was all he ever needed to hear. If Gojo's mistake was loving you and that's what caused this, then you forgive him.
If in some twisted way, his feelings started the list, you forgive him.
COME ON NOW.
There’s so much going unspoken but the two of you knew what either was saying, you understood each other more than either of you realized. - Chapter 35
“Well,” Gojo sighs heavily and then draws your hands off his face, leaning down to you a bit, “Sometimes, sacrifices need to be made in exchange for one’s happiness.”
“Are you telling me that all this was for the greater good?” You quiz as you raise a curious brow.
“Something like that, yeah,” He shrugs. - Chapter 45
You tell him, “If I had one wish, it’d be that you did that from the beginning.”
Gojo opens his mouth to say something but then he swallows his words down. He nearly fucked up.
“All you had to do was talk to me,” Your shoulders raise into a shrug as you move a hand to the doorknob, “Things could’ve been different if you did.”
“Even if I’ve been obsessed with you since the beginning?” He questions and he’s stepping closer to you again. He can’t possibly wrap his head around that possibility-
You laugh a bit, “Especially if you were obsessed from the beginning,” You didn’t know it but that statement right there made the man feel as though his world was falling apart, loads of regret tumbling over him as he stares at you with wide eyes, “Satoru I think you forgot but, before all this started, aside from Shoko… I was lonely.”
Gojo’s throat goes dry and he fails to form a response to that, “I…”
“If you had just talked to me one time, and more than a hey or how are you,” The way your eyes soften, a slim sheer gloss of tears coating your gaze as you speak to him, “I would’ve fallen for you.”
He grits his teeth, “Don’t tell me that.”
“But it’s true.” You say.
And just like that, Gojo was crumbling all over again. If only you knew how much he regretted everything after hearing you say that. - Chapter 46
if he had just spoke to the reader before all of this, maybe she wouldn't have gone to those parties, hooked up with those people, and caused whatever kind of blackmail Sukuna had on Gojo (or on her).
He wishes he could take it all back, his feelings for you included. If only he could go back and stop himself from ever being curious about you. That’s what started it after all. Because, at the end of the day, Gojo knew who you were before you knew who he was— hell, even before Shoko knew who you were. - Chapter 53
then what is the timeline of his obsession starting? has it been before Gojo? could his blackmail have taken place even before Shoko introduced you two, adding to the weight of the threat that Sukuna held over Gojo's head (regarding the peeping tom theory).
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A/N > The timeline on Gojo’s interest, not obsession just yet, on the reader will be addressed in the sequel so this’ll be answered there <3
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but there were certain parts that stumped me and my theories so i have some weird reasonings around them;
It's selfish of him and seriously fucked up but, he's said it before and he'll say it over and over again-- you're all he has. He made promises to everyone on that list, promises of delivering a woman to them at some point, and of course, he couldn't convince anyone he knew to do such a thing.
So again, the situation with you just happened to be a coincidence.
The problem is that Gojo hates that it's you. He hates that you're the one he ended up doing this to. - Chapter 8
Gojo's known to be a silly guy so it could make sense that he actually did promise these guys hookups for reasons unrelated to his blackmail. after all, he does have a reputation for getting people hookups. the coincidence is that Sukuna now has dirt on Gojo and wants to toy with him. by making the reader sleep with them the guys he coincidentally owes hookups to, he fulfills his role/reputation and relieves his debt at the same time. two birds, one stone.
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A/N > As we later learn that some of the “debt” Satoru claimed to have isn’t real, we can also infer that his reputation & the promises he’s made to these men were done out of coincidence. Take Toji for example; tell me you can’t see an interaction between him & Gojo where Gojo gets a bad grade and wants to get it up so he taunts his professor with the idea of getting him a hookup & Toji would laugh it off considering Gojo’s reputation ;)
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another thing that stumped me is why Gojo got so worked up with the reader referring herself as a whore, and the connection to Sukuna. my delulu reasoning is that once Sukuna threatened Gojo with blackmail by either of the two theories/methods i mentioned, Sukuna casually referred to the reader as a whore. that caused a major fight between the two, possibly even getting physical (which can refer back to the implication that Gojo has hurt people for the reader).
the fight could have increased the tension and severity of the situation, so Sukuna decides to add Choso to the list knowing how easily attached Choso gets. in chapter 5, the reader and Gojo were discussing the list and Choso specifically. Gojo was even noted to be relieved when the reader had mentioned that they'll just have to hope that Choso doesn't get attached, as he obviously holds deep feelings for the reader. Sukuna knows that by going through with the blackmail with Choso involved, Gojo most likely will not end up with the reader if Choso get attached and the reader reciprocates those feelings.
also, the counterargument that Sukuna and Gojo are actually friends/allies in this situation just doesn't sit well with me. it would make for a crazy twist but it just feels too out of character for Gojo. but then again, how would Sukuna specifically know about The F*ck List? but idk, it just feels so wrong to me. maybe i have too much faith in Gojo lmfao. after all, he has consistently shown a great dislike towards the guy since chapter 23. but maybe it's my denial speaking. i really don't want to think of Satoru going through this whole arc only for it to reveal that he truly is a piece of shit. pls don't do this to my pookie my heart cannot handle it </3
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A/N > Remember, Gojo is a good actor & you go a long period of time in the book not realizing he’s not as much of a villain as he pretends to be 😉
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there's that moment after the reader fucked Sukuna that still messes with my brain. with my theories, my brain's thinking that he contemplated on collecting even more blackmail on the reader. for what reason? idk, to be an ass? to torment Gojo further and add more to his blackmail? but maybe he decided not to because he already has plenty of blackmail on the reader (if the theory of Sukuna having a video of her from way back then is true) and fucking her knowingly made Gojo pissed considering all the dirt Sukuna has.
so why can't Gojo tell her the truth now? why does he want to wait years in advance? maybe he's hoping that by that time, not only will you forget and not care about the situation overall, but maybe Sukuna will forget all about it as well. the chances of Sukuna holding on to the reader's blackmail for that long is slim and the reader would most likely be in a situation where she is completely separated from Sukuna depending on her job and living situation with Choso. the stakes are lower than if he were to reveal everything to you now, at a moment where your life is still so uncertain. it would go against his wish for you to end up happy.
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A/N > Maybe Gojo doesn’t tell her the truth because he can’t, just as he said 🌚 Perhaps he’s not allowed to yet. After all, why would Sukuna even tell the reader he made the list in the end? ^.^ Just some food for thought!
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regarding the future of TFL... fuck, bro. i have no fucking idea. i'm too caught up in the (presumed) past. i'm mourning fr. i love this fic sooooo fucking much. whenever you decide to pick up on the sequel, i will be there. if you choose to publish anything else in the meantime, i will be there. thanks for such a fun and memorable read, Kami. i'm excited to bookbind this soon 🤍🤍🤍 now, i need to watch blue lock to shove these feelings down.
yap fin (for now)
-☃️
A/N > I love you sosoosooooo much for this. These theories are like reading an entirely new fanfic sometimes except, I know all the answers & what’s going to happen next, which only makes me more excited ^.^ Thank you for taking the time to make this, thank you for reading, thank you for supporting, just, THANK YOU.
This right here is exactly what I write for; people like you :)
To the others reading this breakdown & theory, thank ☃️anon because she’s a damn godsend & ilhsm ^.^ (definitely showing favoritism rn, sorry not sorry, ily all I swear)
Edit; Since you’re watching Blue Lock, I can’t wait to bring my Shidou fanfic here because a lot of the drama in TFL has inspo from that fic, which I wrote first ^.^ & I could totally see you enjoying it because not only is it a childhood friends to lovers than enemies & back to lovers troupe BUT it also includes Itoshi Sae x reader which ofc, adds hella drama :))
P.S. It’s two am as I finally post this and omg sorry it took me a while, I wanted to answer other anons first before unpacking this badboy, again, tysm!!
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going into a haunted house with skz
warnings : swear words
notes : was rewatching skz code and ep8 inspired me p.s. not proofread so it's probs scheisse
©️ hotteoki | do not repost
chan (방찬)
"but why do we have to? it's so dark and it freaks me out!" chan was extremely reluctant about this. "but that's the point of it, channie!" "...fine, but i'm only agreeing because you asked so nicely," he held your hand tightly as you both made your way into the unwelcoming entrance.
at every little motion, he jumped and kneeled on the ground, one hand covering his ear and the other still clutching your shirt firmly. you couldn't lie, you were unsettled by the realistic props and eery noises, but chan's subconscious singing drew you from your fear.
"la, la, la, la..." you patted his wrist gently, motioning that he was being too loud. chan indicated he understood by continuing his singing at a lower volume, ears still plugged in by his fingers.
"ahhh... i can't do this anymore," he whined, hands trembling. "shit!" you yelped at the creepy doll head dropping from the ceiling. chan mimicked your scream, falling to the floor again. "it's just a doll, it's not real," you repeated, attempting to calm him, but really, you were trying to calm yourself more so than him.
"yeah, you're right, it's not real, it's all fake," chan mumbled, following your words while switching in between korean and english, rising to his feet again. his head swivelled front and back so quickly you were slightly worried he would get whiplash.
when you both made it to the entrance, he let go of you immediately, feigning confidence, "that wasn't even that bad." you gave him a knowing look. "okay, that was terrifying. we're never going in there again," he mumbled, wrapping his arms around you firmly.
minho (만호)
he was the one to pull you into the haunted house, "come on! it'll be fun!" minho's smile was enough to convince you to step into the dark building. what a horrible idea that was. you yelped at the doll head that jumped out of the wall, pulling on his arm inadvertently. "yah! you scared the shit out of me!" he yelled at you. "it scared me first!" you retaliated. he faked an irritated sigh, continuing down the path.
"hey look! there's a prop that got stuck on the ceiling, i'm gonna get it," minho began bouncing on his feet, hand outstretched to whack the fake witch. "no, leave it be, come on..." you cried, dragging his other hand. "one second..." he faltered, finally reaching the sensor bar. the witch dropped right in front of you, causing you to scream and fall back to minho's waiting arms. he laughed at your state, leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on your cheek, "you're adorable, come on."
minho continuously made spooky noises next to your ear, mocking your uneasy, hunched-over posture. he made fun of all the decorations before you, comforting you, "see? it's fake, you can even see the switch on the back." "that one just looks cheap, i could make a better one myself." "that kind of looks like dwaekki."
he took a few secret photos of you two, with his gleaming smile and your face buried in his arm. you best bet he's making that his wallpaper. minho did check up on you every now and then, "you okay, babe?" "are you still with me?" "come on, we're okay. i'll buy you whatever food you want later, okay?" although, he did get annoyed at every jumpscare you both came across, "tsk, these things are getting on my nerves..."
when you exited the haunted house, he grinned down at your terrified face, "see? that wasn't so bad, right?" "i hate you so much, lee min ho." "aw, i love you too, darling."
changbin (칭반)
he had insisted you'd drag him behind, making the trip slower than it should be. you had the first laugh when he screamed the building down at the jumpscare provided by the demon prop by the entrance. "it startled me, that's all," changbin sniffed, carrying on down the path. "i didn't say anything," you held your hands up in surrender.
he consistently created noises whenever he got surprised or scared of the decorations and music, and it was extremely amusing for you to see his originally confident front break down. "come on! hurry up!" changbin screamed at you, voice wavering, even though you were trailing right behind him.
"get over here, please," he cried, pulling your arm as he stared in fear at the actor stood in the path, clamping down your hand. as soon as the actor stumbled past you two, changbin flailed your intertwined fingers, mumbling incoherent words, you barely made out "did you see it?" "it was staring right at me!" "why didn't you hurry up?!"
"let's just get out of here!" changbin screamed once again. "okay, okay, let's go," you patted his shoulder with your free hand, feeling your trapped one lose its blood circulation at this point. "there's a witch over there!" before you could even follow where his finger was pointing at, it had already switched directions. "and there! the ghost is looking at us!" "keep your distance! babe, the zombie's walking towards us!"
when you both left the house, he regained his facade, "that was so easy! i told you! you just didn't move faster!" don't take his scolding personal, he's just scared, he'll be forcing you to cuddle him tonight to protect him.
hyunjin (현진)
why you two had decided to go into a haunted maze, you didn't know. "no... the left side looks too scary," hyunjin bounced up and down, swinging your arm and crying dramatically. "but it's the right way! it said that on the map by the entrance, remember?" you tried to reason.
"why..." he whined as you dragged him on. the path got darker and darker as hyunjin's complaints grew more and more frequent. "ah!" he screamed as a vampire started chasing you two from behind. hyunjin had his hand wrapped securely around your wrist, "come on! come on! i don't want to do this anymore!"
a few turns later and you lost the vampire. even after the coast was clear and the path looked safe, hyunjin continued screaming for the next minute for no particular reason. his free hand was placed over his heart as he took deep breaths, "i think i just saw heaven."
not even a second later, he stood up properly, brushing his hair out of his face, and sniffed, "okay, i'm fine now, let's continue." his sudden change in mood baffled you, but you allowed him continue pulling you. just as he had let you go, you stopped to tie your laces.
hyunjin, not realising that you were not behind him, went on. after a while, he turned to reach for your hand again. realising you were gone, he began screaming your name again, "where are you?! why would you leave me to be on my own!" you followed his yells and reunited with him. "never do that again, or i will actually die."
jisung (지성)
a gust of cold air blasted in your faces the second both you and jisung walked into the creepy building. as you were walking side by side, hands held together, he suddenly went to a stop. "what?" you asked, turning your head back to see him eying the staircase up front suspiciously.
you continued walking, him falling slightly behind. a doll jumped out from your right side, scaring you. "ah! i knew it," jisung commented, "i felt that there would be something." "then why didn't you tell me?" you hit his arm lightly. "yah... you're okay," he laughed, thumb rubbing your hand comfortingly.
not even a minute later, he stops again. jisung nudges your hip using your intertwined hands, "there's going to be something up front, by the way. so, just be ready to get scared." "why..." you cried, just about done with this whole thing. "it's okay, i'll go first, yeah?" he offered.
"hey that zombie over there looks kind of funny," he pointed. you stared at him, never seeing jisung being this calm. "how are you just fine with this, this is so scary," you frowned. "here, i'll give you a few tips. you see that security camera on the corner, barely covered by the fake webs, it's reminding me that none of this is real; and the actors over there that haven't seen us yet are too relaxed, not like real zombies would be."
his logic made your shoulders relax from their previous hunched position. you sighed, "you're right, you're right. as you always are. and as long as you're here, i'm fine." that last comment warmed his heart so much, that for the rest of the trip jisung swore to protect you whenever you were scared, because you had indirectly told him that you placed your entire trust into him, and he couldn't break that now, could he?
felix (용복)
"no, please..." he practically cried. the other members had already gone in, and you were left with felix, begging you to not go in. "but felix, the only way to meet them afterwards is if we walked the long road all around the park, and that would take at least half an hour!" he made a few more reluctant fake sobs, "fine, but you're going in first."
he screamed your ears off at the actor jumping out to scare you. "i'd rather walk half an hour!" he yelled, turning back around, only to meet a shut door. you held out your hand, waiting to him to drag his feet on the floor to clutch your index finger.
"i can't do this anymore..." he was squatted on the floor, taking baby steps. "lixie, wouldn't it be faster if you walked normally?" you laughed at his current position, he was just so cute. "you don't understand, the dolls are so creepy!" you were honestly too busy making sure felix didn't fall over or faint to even pay attention to the actual haunted house.
"they're not so bad-" you began, only to get interrupted by felix's explosion. "yes they are!" you squeezed his hand, "come on, i looked ahead for you, there's nothing there. there is a creepy skeleton up front at the corner, but just don't look at it, okay, lixie?" he nodded meekly, standing up, but still hiding behind you.
his strength kept you in place. "how about this, you hold on to my hand and keep your eyes shut, and i'll guide you, okay?" you'd never seen felix nod so quickly. though the house freaked you out, you did it for him, and made it safely out of the building.
"finally. we thought he fainted back there and you had to carry him or something!" changbin snorted. felix was still too frightened to even respond. "hey, leave him alone," you chuckled, rubbing felix's cheek soothingly. his face was still buried in your shoulder, and he remained in that position for a while out of embarrassment from the others making fun of him.
seungmin (승민)
"ah geez! why did it have to be in my face..." seungmin muttered, irritated over the fog blown straight to his face. his hand was being held firmly by you, forcing him to slow down. something brushed your leg, causing you to scream and jump into his arms. he bursted out laughing, you, on the other hand, were not amused.
"tsk, this web got caught on my shoe..." "why's there so much fog?" "ooh, say hi to the actor!" seungmin's light-hearted mood made it extremely hard for you to be scared, his laughter was contagious and his grip on your arm told you that he would always put you first.
"you know, this horror house reminds me of my childhood, dark and dismal," he joked, attempting to calm you. seungmin starts humming, indicating you to join him. when you started the next verse, his lips curled up subconsciously, taking out his phone to take a secret photo of you.
a zombie roared from behind you, causing both you and seungmin to jump up, startled. he put his fists up, "fight me!" you pulled him away, running from the zombie. "why would you threaten him like that?" "i didn't know what else to do!"
he eventually calmed down and remained carefree for the rest of the experience in the haunted house. "it wasn't even that scary," seungmin teased poor felix, who looked like he was about to faint.
jeongin (정인)
"it won't be that bad, right?" that was what jeongin had said right before you two made your way in. two seconds later, he was forcing you to walk first, muttering something along the lines of "this is so scary what the hell?" "i'm never doing this again" under his breath.
"ah... you're going first," he pushes you lightly, "i can see the thing at the front staring at us..." "you were the one that said you wanted to come here in the first place!" you yelled, pulling him in front of you. "ah..." jeongin grumbled, knowing you were right.
"jeongin, you're not moving." "i know, i'm just... taking my time." "we've been standing here for 5 minutes." "you go first then!" "fine! but you're holding my hand," you pushed your empty hand out to him. jeongin wordlessly took it.
at the first turn, you caught an actor unprepared, leaning against the wall humming. nudging jeongin and signalling him about your discovery, he couldn't contain his laughs. the actor, clearly stunned and embarrassed, immediately bowed in apology and left quickly.
after that encounter, both of you were clearly much more relaxed, but still slightly on guard. it was until jeongin got you two lost that really made you lose it. a nearby actor had to come to your rescue and guide you both to the exit.
it was an odd sight for passersby to see a couple laughing until they were doubling over after coming out of a haunted house, but the amount of inside jokes created from that day made it worth it.
#skz#stray kids#stray kids x reader#stray kids x you#seungmin#lee know#minho#felix#yongbok#skz x reader#bang chan#bang chan x reader#felix x reader#changbin#han jisung#jeongin#hyunjin#han
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Comforting them: Aegon II Targaryen, Aemond One-Eye Targaryen
|Headcanons|
Thou shan't repost/copy/ translate any of my work or I'll sneak into your home late at night and bite your nose off!
English isn't my first language. I don't proofread. I slap commas wherever I feel they're needed.
A/N: So ep.10 got leaked...Poor Vhagar, old girl probs just acted out of habit. Can't blame her tho. If some kid spat in my face out of nowhere, I'd probs do the same.
He just can't catch a break. Especially with Aemond around.
Kid throws him under the bus 24/7
"Aegon told me", "Aegon did it", "It was Aegon's idea", etc.
Their lord father ignores them for the most of it and lets the two do what they want.
He wishes he could say the same about their mother.
Not spending enough time with his siblings? Smack. Teaching young Aemond dirty jokes he'd heard from strangers on the Street of Silk? Smack.
She definitely beat his ass once she found out he'd taken Aemond to a brothel. It was bad. Aegon walked around the castle with an imprint of the Queen's hand on his face for a week straight.
"You should be watching over them! They're just children!"
His mother often forgot he was a child himself.
He'd start to shut off to the world.
Then your paths will cross.
He's so deprived of affection, Aegon can't help himself but to stick to you like glue the moment you show concern for his well-being.
From that moment on, he runs to you whenever something bad happens.
His father yells at him? Off he goes, searching for you.
His mother slaps him around? He shows up at your door late at night and without saying a word, throws himself into your hands.
You're the only person he truly loves and cares for.
Years pass. You two- no longer children.
When the Queen breaks the news to him that he'll have to marry his sister, he simply shrugs his shoulders.
"No."
"I don't believe I asked for your opinion on the matter, Aegon."
"And yet here I am, telling you it won't happen. I'm not marrying Helaena."
"Then who? Who will take you?"
"I've got someone in mind."
Smack. Smack. Smack.
He comes back to you later that evening, lower lip split and bloody, a bruise on his cheek.
He's smiling from ear to ear.
"We're getting married, you and I."
"Come again?"
The Queen had relented after a long monologue on his side.
Long story short, he'd explained to her how you'd been there for him through all these years. How you were the only person that had ever showed love and affection for him. How he'd rather jump from the highest tower of the Red Keep, than have to spend the rest of his life without you.
He'd always been a manipulative little shit.
But he was yours and you were his.
You live your happily ever after.
Together.
He'd tried everything at this point.
He even prayed once.
Still, no dragon.
He hated the Dragon Pit.
Standing around as his brother and nephews bonded with their dragons was painful to watch.
Not to mention the three princes always made fun of him.
Then came the day he had the displeasure of meeting the Pink Dread.
You were walking around the enormous castle while your lord father was busying himself with discussing "urgent matters" with the King. You came across a guard dragging this dirty white haired boy in the opposite direction, towards the Queen's private quarters.
"What happened to you?
"A dragon."
He didn't know you.
That bugged him to no end.
Not long after, Aemond approached you.
He was spoiled and arrogant, that much was obvious.
Then his brother and nephews appeared, as if out of nowhere. His confidence -poof- gone.
"Brother, will you be accompanying us to the Dragon Pit? It's about time you take the almighty Pink Dread for a ride, don't you think?"
The boys left him there, red-faced and squeezing his small fists in rage.
You tried asking, but he ran off.
An hour or so later, Aemond was back.
He told you all about the cruel jokes.
About how he'd do anything to have a dragon of his own.
Kid actually cried a bit.
Made you swear to never say a word about it.
Instead of cowering in fear, you offered a sad smile. And a bear hug. Like, one of those that damn near breaks every bone in your upper body.
Ooh, that's all the young prince needed to develop the fattest crush on you.
You turn into a permanent resident of the Red Keep.
Don't ask. He has his ways.
First thing he does after coming back to King's Landing on dragon back was head for your chambers.
"Guess what?"
"Oh Gods, Aemond! What happened?! Are you alright?!"
"Nevermind that, guess how I got back here?"
"Who did this to you?"
"Ugh, just come with me."
He drags you all the way to Vhagar.
You and the large dragon stare at eachother as the prince smiles like a madman.
Something inside you is telling you that you and the beast shared the same thought. He's mad. Completely fucking insane.
You knocked his ass to the ground right then and there.
You could've swore Vhagar let at a huff of approval as she watched you try and knock some sense into Aemond.
He never bothered to wear his eyepatch around you.
You might have hinted to him that blue suits him.
Yep, you chose the sapphire yourself. He insisted.
It turns sour once the people around court start staring and commenting on his appearance.
All it took was for you to have a little chit-chat with one or two noble ladies for the rest to quiet down.
Still, Aemond's insecurity grew with the years.
Good thing he had you around to reassure him.
"Gods, you look fine. That damn patch won't grow legs and run off, Aemond. Relax."
"Hmmmmm..."
He's definitely blushing every time you say something like that
You've definitely had to kick Aegon's ass a few times.
Aemond wasn't sure if it was even possible, but he sorta fell more in love with you every time you dragged his brother to him, so Aegon could apologize for his rudeness.
The years went by quickly.
One day you receive a letter from your lord father. He'd decided to marry you off to some Lannister lord.
You run to Aemond. Tears streaming down your face, the letter from your father still in your hand.
He quickly snatches it from you. The second the words settle in, he turns his back on you and leaves you to stand there, heartbroken and confused.
Both him and Vhagar dissappear from the capital for a few days. Absolutely no one knows where they are.
He returns not long after, during the hour of the wolf.
"You'll be marrying no Lannister. Not while I'm around."
"What did you do?"
"Nevermind that, the matter is settled."
"You idiot, what did you do?"
"Ugh, just come with me."
He drags you to the throne room.
His whole family is there, along with the High Septon.
You get where this is going.
You two get married that same night.
#aemond targaryen#aemond one eye#aemond targaryen fanfic#hotd fanfic#game of thrones#hotd#aegon ii x reader#aegon ii targaryen#aemond targaryen x reader#headcanon#requests open
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welt yang and soggy wet cat reader. pathetic old man and his much more pathetic but equally as old partner
welt yang x gn!reader
help i didn't know if you wanted a cat-like reader or like an actual cat hybrid 😭 i hope its ok
cw: reader is a cat hybrid, reader is same (or almost same) age as welt, GUYS WELT IS LIKE 80+ I JUST FOUND OUT, just fluff cuz now im scared to think of smut for someone whos 82 im sorry 😭😭, reader is always kinda sleepy cuz i think its cute
not proofread btw im tired as fukc
--
i feel like you and welt has always kind of knew each other, sure you had arguments in the past but it only brought the two of you closer.
going through the events of the past kind of fucked up everything, but it's alright because at least the two of you still have each other.
it took a pretty long while of begging and whining before he finally let you cuddle him, his hand on your head subconsciously scratching the area behind your cat ears.
your tail would wrap around his leg, keeping him close as you napped happily in his arms.
but just know he might get cramps from sitting for too long.
you were always the clingy one, the one seeking attention from the brown haired man while he had to deal with it.
of course, there were moments where you were clinging onto him wherever he went, to the point where he went on a trailblazing mission once, leaving you on the train, when you somehow found him on the planet and stuck with him until he finished the mission.
it's ok though. he still loves you.
--
it's short but all of my writings prob will be 🧍
i dont write for peepaw that much so sorry if its ooc :( i might rewrite this later
ALSO ALSO im not sure if the request was implying smut but i didnt write it cuz i
anyways if you want smut then you can ask me! i'll try again :)
#`.~ welt yang#welt yang#gn reader#male reader#gender neutral reader#honkai star rail#hsr#welt x reader#welt yang x reader#welt yang x gn reader#request#help please i cannot write for welt im so sorry if you see this i would like to write an official apolo
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heyy! this is your author :]
so im actually writing this at night bc i have nothing else to do and i get random writing ideas at night...so here's a very very very very fluffy college/uni au with bang chan! i hope you all enjoy ;)
this may be slow to update, i'm not really sure when i'll have time for this 😭 i'll probably update more frequently if this story gets popular, idk 🤫🧏♀️
nonidol!bang chan, fem!reader
chap. 2: https://www.tumblr.com/kairothekid/746830278018891776/ok-author-kairo-is-back-this-is-another-chapter
chap. 3: https://www.tumblr.com/kairothekid/746843720149811200/ive-realized-theres-no-way-is-starting-to-get
TW's: mention of anxiety attacks, y/n gets an anxiety attack later in the book, lmk if there's something i missed bc this is really just a wholesome story <3
without further ado, here’s There’s No Way.
chap. 1:
You'd always hated Bang Chan. You'd both gone to the same middle and high schools, because you had transferred to the school he was at when your parents moved to Seoul for work. You had had to get used to the city and all of the new people, and you didn't like it one bit. But living in Seoul actually turned out to not be so bad-at least, it wasn't bad when he was around.
You despised him with every inch of your being. His curly blonde hair, his dark brown eyes, and that stupid Australian accent that made all of the girls blush. Even down to the smallest details, you remembered how much you hated his black sweatshirts and sweatpants, and his stupid, stupid, STUPID dimples.
So it's summer break right now, and you've just submitted your university application. There's no way he could be there, right? Out of all the colleges, universities, and elite schools, there's no way he could either a) find out you were going to this university or b) want to go to this specific uni. Said uni is a music university, and there's no way the popular jock who bullied you in your earlier years is interested in that. He'll probably go to school for sports or something. You don't want to waste time thinking about him.
Sipping on your mug of coffee, you sighed and glanced out the window of your apartment. You had decorated your apartment with lots of plants and woke up early every morning to sit at your desk with the window open to study or get assignments done.
A few weeks later, you check your email and are greeted with an epic surprise-you got into the university! You smirk to yourself, packing up your bags and leaving the studio where you worked, composing and writing songs to save up for uni.
And the best part about going off to uni?
There’s no way Bang Chan’ll be there. Sure, a very slim chance, but slim is slim, and out of all of the classes at this university you doubted he’d be in yours, even if he was smart enough to get in.
There’s no way, right?
a/n: there’s definitely a way lol
a/n: yeah so idk if this is good but i’ll prob post a few more chapters and i’ll keep the story going if it gets popular ig
#bang chan#skz#stray kids#skz x reader#skz x y/n#bang chan x reader#bang chan x y/n#bang chan x female reader#y/n#stray kids x reader#female reader#female y/n#university#university au
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IDK how tumblr works, but here is some Mace stuff bcause I've got brainrot, idk sorry
CW: fluff ig, not proofread, bad spelling. Pronouns used 4 you: you/your, probs violence, MLM, horrendous spelling, maybe smut??? Mace is not in his mask btw, Amab reader, I was horny as shit, I'm trans and this hives gender👍
Mace and you sat on the couch. Watching a shitty, boring reality show on the TV. The air hung thick with tension, the couch feeling too small for the two of you. He was practically in your lap, for gods sake. Your breathing calmed his nerves after the stressfull mission, both of you practically asleep.
Mace always thought he was straight. Why wouldnt he be? Hed never had intrest in men. But you... You were different. You sent sparks down his spine and made him feel things he'd rather leave alone. And it only got worse the closer you were.
Mace's voice cut the silence like a knife. "Hey, man. I gotta tell ya' something." His eyes stared at you, peirceing and feirce as usual. He wasnt known for being soft after all.
"I dont know how imma say it." He started, frowning under his mask. "But i think i like you. But you tell anyone and youre done for, yeah?"
You nodded in response, smiling slightly. "'Course." You replied. His arm snaked around your shoulders, pulling you closer until your lips connected in a passionate kiss. Desire burnt bright in both your chests, making you shift as you felt yourself chub up in your pants.
He dragged you to the bedroom of the safehouse, both of you tripping over yourselves as you fell to the bed. He was on you like a feral animal, stripping your clothes off as you did his.
"Fuckin' hell, you look better than I thought.." Mace mumbled, kissing your neck as you both grinded against each other. A damp spot formed on front of his boxers already, as you both removed them. He lay back on the bed, eyebrows raised as you grabbed some lube.
Pouring some lube on your fingers you started to work yourself open for him, him watching with an impatient look. "So... How does this work? I ain't the best on this stuff." He admitted, shifting as you clambered to his lap. "Just... Like how you'd do it with a lady?" He continued.
"Just wait, it'll be good." You assured him. He nodded he was ready, and you took your time sinking down on him. He was long and thick—prep could only do so much. The burn raced up your spine as he lay there, grabbing your hips in a tight grip as he groaned. You could swear there was a bump from him as you took time to adjust to his massive size.
As you started moving, bouncing on his cock, he threw his head back with a deep and guttural groan. "Oh, fuck!" He exclaimed, meeting you halfway with each thrust.
It didn't take long for you to cum, painting stripes of white across his mahogany stomach and chest. Mere seconds later he came inside you, painting your walls white as you collapsed in a sweaty, lustful and tired pile.
"You're... Wow, that..." Mace said, sighing and yawning as he started to drift off. You were both content.
"I'll admit, you did good for your first time with a man." You said, kissing his neck as you both drifted off to sleep, him still buried deep in you.
a/n: this is my first fic PLEASE GIVE ME TIPS
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Hello im not sure if u are accepting request but huhu i hope there's thoma and ayato ver of that "love made me crazy"❤❤ i loveeee ur work!!!!! Tyyyyy
Love made me crazy
characters — ayato, thoma x fatui!reader
warnings: not proofread, grammatical errors, slight angst if u squint, also probably sucks and ayato is probs ooc
note: yes hello!! thank you for loving my work i try<33 thank you for the request as well bc omg i was just thinking about these two and i hope this meets your expectations sob
part one (diluc & kaeya)
stupid. that's what they felt, something was off about you that they knew, but they thought you'd be different
that you'd be gentle with their heart, making sure to take care of it. But you were here, in front of them, with a sword that's probably going to be used to assassinate them.
betrayal was something they weren't new to, they were aware it's possible to happen, how foolish of them to think that someone would love them for them— wait..
are you pointing your weapon in front of your own allies..?
— AYATO
ayato knew the moment you approached him there was a catch, amused by your confidence to approach the yashiro commissioner himself, he thought it wouldn't hurt to humor you HAH HE THOUGHT
getting side tracked with his goal, he in fact fell in love with you during the process of gaining your trust in exchange for his. it wasn't his intention, he just couldn't help it, you were incredible in his eyes, and so he fell for you.
that was a mistake, a huge mistake in his part, because here you stand in front of him with fatui agents behind you. betrayed, you betrayed him he thinks, noticing how you had a strong grip on your weapon
funny.. and here i thought i could trust you.
"[name] How could you-!" one of the guards that accompanied the commissioner speaks before pausing hesitantly "not to worry, i'll handle it." ayato murmurs to them, pulling out his sword
"what you did is certainly unforgivable, and i will not tolerate such dirty behavior even if you are— were my lover."
"i'm afraid you're gonna have to forgive me on this one, ayato."
just as ayato put his emotions to the side and prepared himself for a battle between the two of you, he finds himself dumbfounded at the scene of you pointing your weapon towards your allies with a dark look on your face
an agent attempts to strike you, and you barely managed to dodge the attack as you were pointing your weapon on another agent, and that's when a fight had began in front of the commissioner who looked like he was still processing the situation
he instantly snaps out of it at the sound of two weapons clashing, ayato sees you holding your weapon with both hands as an agent attempts to choke you with their own weapon that had ayato commanding the guards with him to assist you, before he himself comes to your rescue.
"thank you"
"i'd like an explanation later"
— THOMA
thoma never saw this coming, you looked so innocent, and so open that he never expected you to be one of the fatui never judge a book by its cover, sorry
but you stood there in front of him with a look on your face that he had never seen before was it all a lie? am I that stupid?
he wanted, he begged the archons that this was just a misunderstanding and that you weren't preparing your weapon to attack him, he hoped that there was a reason, a good one or that you were blackmailed into doing this
though as much as thoma would like to lie to himself about the situation, you were there, this is real, everything that's happening right now is real.
"[name]?" thoma could only stare at you disappointingly, scanning your face for any signs of fear, or explanation but you seemed unreadable as you turned to look away
he notices your grip on your weapon, tense, you're tense he realises and he couldn't feel any more relieved when you swing your sword to an agent attempting a surprise attack that almost backfired as a shield appears
looking towards Thoma you see him look at you in relief, before he runs towards you while signaling to the guards (that had been standing the whole time thoma processed the situation) to assist you both
"thank archons! you're—"
"yes I know, i'm sorry sunshine. but I'll explain myself after this okay?"
#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin ayato#genshin thoma#ayato x reader#thoma x reader#thoma#ayato kamisato#genshin scenarios#nyx — writes.🖊
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About Us
Polyfragmented/complex DID system
17 years old
They/she/he pronouns collectively
If unsure who is fronting just call us Elyxir
AuDHD
hEDS, POTS
Currently on our SP we have just over 60 parts logged however at the start of the year Juniper decided to make a new SP account and so now we are slowly bringing the parts from the old one to the new one (smart choice Junie made though cause the formatting was a mess) but we know that there is well over 100 probably over 200 even so basically we have shitton of parts but half the time they aren't even logged on PK or SP. Like there are ones who wrote notes and what not but did not log themselves on SP so truly the alter count is fuck this shit there's too many.
We're also introject heavy (yay fiction our only escape from the world for the first 10 years of our life and then yay fifth harmony our next means of escape /s. we all agree on one thing collectively, fifth harmony, we love the girls)
Don't really care for syscourse (we enjoy hearing the different opinions and occasionally may wish to voice ours but don't care too much for it if you get what I'm saying)
Stance on endos: don't really care, they're experience is greatly different to ours, as long as they understand that what they experience is different to what we experience and they don't spread misinformation (intentionally. unintentional misinfo is different and easily spread) we're chill with them cause who knows maybe there is a scientific explanation for them but we don't care that much tbh. We're not gonna go out of or way to get mad at y'all even though sometimes we're like "hmmm is this really a thing?" mostly just as long as endos stay in their space and don't try to invade ours we're chill.
Some parts are more anti-endo than others, some parts are more neutral and some parts may be completely chill with endos, genuinely it completely depends on the part.
We'll trigger tag stuff as TW topic. This will go for vents in general, the ent will be tagged TW vent along with any other potentially triggering topics.
We'll tag any basic triggering topics (if we don't tag one we should just send us a dm or ask to let us know cause we probs didn't realise)
DNI:
Basic DNI
fakeclaimers
honestly really thats it tbh
We'll probably also bitch about shit a lot, mostly drama at school though cause damn does that shit get messy quick and annoying.
Might end up updating this shit with more info later (sorry bout any typos but not really sorry I just don't give enough of a fuck to proofread)
Frequent Fronters below the line
Juniper, 8-15, She/they, Lesbian, Host, Fictional Introject, Part of the Terrorised Stories Subsystem
Augustine, 17, She/they, Lesbian, Host, Fictional Introject
Lauren, 18-27, She/her, Bi, Protector, Soother, Trauma Holder, Factual Introject, Part of Moon Line Subsystem
Camila, 18-26, She/her, Lesbian, Protector, Factual Introject
LJ, 17, She/he/they/mera/lun/leaf, Bi, Soother, Factual Introject
Karla Camila (Karla, KC), 16, She/her, Lesbian, Soother, Factual Introject
And since I'm in front I'll add info about myself despite not being a frequent fronter
Maeve/Finn, Late teens, They/it/vamp/spiri, IDK my sexuality, Persecutor
#complex did#c-did#polyfrag system#did system#traumagenic system#dissociative identity disorder#polyfragmented#polyfrag did#c did#complex ptsd#cptsd#complex dissociative disorder#polyfragmented did#polyfragmented system#cdd#cdid#did#polyfrag
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Jam Progress Day 1 + 2
Statistics
Total Word Count: 3618 (+ 1532 since Jan 1)
Coding Status: Not started
What has been done:
Game Entry announced for the Ranked Jam (depending on how the story progress, I might submit it to the unranked too)
Created some animated visual stuff for Tumblr (Yay Canva)
Starting Outline plotted: where I have stopped plotting right now could stand as a cliffhanger on it own, but I might expand it later?
Core mechanics will be basic Choice/Consequence.
About 4-5 passages have been completely written (not proof-read).
What needs to be done:
Settle on the UI/Visual: I want a futuristic/spaceship look (duh). Not looking forward to mess with CSS. Prob using a template :P
Write the whole thing (+ proofread)
Code the whole thing
Test the whole thing
Other/Notes:
UI: I want to focus on the Web version first. If there is some time left, I would want to optimize for mobile (however possible). If not, it will be a post-jam update.
No Romance in this game. Limited cast. Maybe I'll create a separate post for them. I need to name them first.
GAME POST | TAGS (x, x, x) | DEMO RELEASE : End of Jan.
K. Worked enough on this for today. Gonna edit CRWL some more.
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Hi same nonny as usual haha! You asked for my thoughts on the spring troupe so now that I've finished the summer troupe debut I'm going to knock out two birds with one stone! I liked summer troupe a lot more then spring troupe. Not that I didn't like spring troupe! I just think that they didn't really communicate with each other?
The only reason why sakuyas issue with swordfighting was resolved was because masumi happened to be eavesdropping on a convo with the director, and why someone knew about itarus injury was because of citron noticing. I'm not saying there was no communication at all these two issues just. Bothered me so much the swordfighting one a lot more then the injury. The thing that bothers me about the injury is that itaru wasn't like. Told off for not telling anyone about his injury. Cause he could have seriously damaged his foot or something. I get that in the future there's probably going to be character development for itaru that lets him open up more to his troupemates. The swordfighting one just felt like a cop out to have a "moment" between sakuya and the director instead of having sakuya discuss that stuff with his troupe (which, bleh do not care for the characters flirting with the director at all. wish it wasn't there but I get why they do it.)
Despite my griping I did really enjoy spring troupe! They were fun! They just felt less trusting of each other then summer troupe at the end of day. And I get that char Dev will prob happen bout that but still haha. That's my thoughts on spring troupe! I could just be horribly misremembering the entire episode but oh well!
I know I said I'd also do summer troupe in this ask but it's already horribly long and I'm writing this on my phone. I'll get to that later. Thanks for reading my rambling that has not been proofread at all or edited. Hopefully it makes some sense hahaha. Thanks for introducing me to a3 it's tons of fun.
aaahh thanks for sharing!!!
honestly i kinda get where you’re coming from. I really love Spring, but it’s especially now in insight of their development. On first read, i think the thing especially was that the chapter was more about setting up some of the most major issues of the universe (the debts, the way to arrange themselves in that new environment ect..) that therefore the characters issues may be not as focused as the others chapters?
(also for character flirting with MC there will be only 2 in main stories that do that a lot, one of which is Masumi, and the other isn’t much flirting as just hopelessly in love. Not much we can do about it but honestly once you move on from spring if this really holds you down, it will ease off at least, even if there’s a few thingss here and there stil)
Summer was the moment i really fell in love with the game, i really, really adore Summer’s dynamic and it was just. so good to go through.
As for the things you bring up about Spring, on one hand on first read i think i get you, but yeaaaah in insight of all we learn about the characters, it’s really not that far fetched ahah.
For Sakuya imo it’s really just that he freaked out because of his abandon issues and i don’t really see him discussing it with Spring yet at this point? Like. Sakuya is terrified of not being good enough and being abandoned as a result, like all of his relatives ever did. So he tries to compensate. When Masumi just brought up that they’ll just replace him, i don’t find it far fetched that Sakuya freaked out about it and failed to explain it to Masumi at the time.
Those very same issues also lead Sakuya to hold on everything bad ever to himself. The reason he opens up to Izumi, more than her just coming to him there, is that she already proved before that she wasn’t willing to abandon him, if only by how she took up the theater because of his passion to start with. And, just, timingwise.
And i think Sakuya wouldn’t have taken reassurances from his others troupesmates who have already made clear they believed in him, because i think Sakuya would be more crushed with the idea that they’re just being polite and kind with him. Because he knows he’s failing and the others’s way to reassure him would probably have made it worse. He needed reassurance 1) from the director who at this point has already started to be giving more constructive critisms, 2) Masumi, who’s the one who caused those insecurities by the fact he doesn’t hold back. But i don’t see him reach of to Masumi with how hostile Masumi has been to everyone up until that point.
(i have more thoughts but that’d be me overreading it too but dKJFDLKF a3 makes my brain go brr)
As for Masumi, this kid has serious communication issues (only child with no friends and no parents around? oof) and i don’t think he would have reached out to Sakuya or even figured something was wrong otherwise.
Are those just easy way out for the writers? maybe, but that’s just how writing is isn’t it? if you want to make even some “artificial” conflict, you need to make it believable why this conflict exist even in the first place.
Honestly the swordfighting issue doesn’t strike like that to me, and those are all about things that are shown in the Spring chapter itself, but i suppose since i also know those things are expended on, it does add a layer of “this was made with depth for their characters in mind” imo.
Also i think if Masumi hadn’t eardropped, Izumi would have talked to him about it, being the mediator and all of that, and i think Masumi would have understood then. I don’t think Masumi was unwilling to understand, but that he lacked the groundwork to understand it. and we mostly were spared from having to repeat the scene with Izumi telling him about it.
Idk if i see Sakuya managing to tell it to Masumi even after this talk? I think Sakuya is the kind to take all of his pain in silence and assume responsibilities for everything that goes wrong, and i don’t think he would have felt comfortable opening up with that, especially since, as he tells Izumi, he genuinely feels like *he’s* the failure about it (and as Izumi tells him, it’s not his fault if others people don’t try either. Sakuya was made to believe that he had to take full responsibility when a relationship doesn’t work because of his relatives, and i think he was set on doing the same with this Massu’s situation, and the reason he could share it with Izumi is because she’s not the person he’s taking responsibility for). On top of that, Sakuya remains Masumi’s elder, and Sakuya does want to be someone people rely on - he wants to be a big brother figure, and i think he wouldn’t have wanted or known how much of this responsibility he could share with Masumi knowing that. And i don’t think it’s healthy! but it’s perfectly understandable from Sakuya’s perspective and the specific way he shoulders responsibilities because i will fistfight his family his family sucked.
As for Itaru, on this one we only got the reveals about how deep this lack of trust Itaru had for people ran only recently, so imo early on you just need to take it at face value and hope when you get to know more, it’ll click. Realizing he doesn’t want to be alone anymore and wants to be more with Spring is a turning point from this set up about him, so he can only develop from here.
For why no one really told him off about it, i guess i can understand the grip ahah. imo i think everyone worried already enough that he was talking about leaving the company this was the priority to discuss and i do think talking about his ankle at that point may have not worked with the pacing of the emotional moment. I wouldn’t have minded seeing some of them being more worried about it in general though.
In the end the thing with Spring is that aside from Tsuzuru, they are all people who come from background where communication isn’t their forte. Sakuya fears he’s never good enough, Masumi never even had to face how lonely his life had made him until now (and i think he specifically lashes on the director because it’s the first time he feels like he wants a connection with anyone in his life and he doesn’t know what to do with it. I find his obsession creepy imo but i also see where it’s coming from), Itaru has severe trust issues and rather be solo in general, and Citron hides a lot about himself.
and i think, we have Tsuzuru has never been really alone ever, and he takes a lot of responsibility, (though there’s a few things about his background we learn later that shows he still has similar struggles than the rest of his troupe regarding some.. broken connection, which he vagues at in the Spring chapter (... which is something i only noticed on my reread knowing that so i wouldn’t blame you for not catching it)) but he’s also trying to do things for himself for once in his life. Ultimately he knows how to communicate more in general but he has that going on for him, and especially, i think his way to communicate or connect may be too foreign for the rest of the troupe for a smooth connection off the bat.
All of them are trying to connect in their own ways coming from those complicated feelings they have about connection imo... and i do find it fascinating.
I see Spring a lot like, the kids who had to grow up too fast and the adults who are unhappy with where their adult lives have taken them and the expectations pushed upon them who yet are trying to cope on their own mostly because they have reasons to feel unsafe otherwise. (Tsuzuru is a bit in between imo bc he’s not “unsafe” yet and he’s already taking himself back in hands with the expectations things, but anyway, i am. trying to keep it short, believe it or not) And they’re still navigating where that leaves them as people, and where that leaves them in their connection with others, and especially with each other because in the end they’re all yearning to connect especially with one another, and just don’t know how to reconcile this desire with who they have been all this time to cope through all of this.
All of this is present in the Spring intro chapter but ^^” i could imagine that without having the full picture those aren’t things that may be easily picked up as important for their characterizations. But honestly there’s a throve of details in the writing to flesh them out when you know where to look and i find it fascinating. (but also i like. relived this chapter 5 times, 4 of which after i’ve seen most of their development, and my first read is so long ago i think i just overthink everything DLKJFDLKF and like, Spring was one of my least favorite at first read bc i struggled to connect with them, so it’s not like i don’t get you, it’s just. nowadays, spring is care spring is love and i cry over their intro chap a lot.)
Anyway i guess i get what you felt still, but, idk maybe i feel strongly about it ahah, i like the way the characters stand out from one another even in the moments that are probably just.. stupid, but in a “they wouldn’t know how to do better because of what’s holding them back” way.
i feel like “lack of communication” is a problem every troupe have to various degree and for different reasons, but the whole thing is about trying to figure out how to fix that and work it with them. Some are more forward than others (like, Summer, mostly because Tenma and Yuki are stubborn and loud and straightforward in their own way)(”than others” i have so much to say about this i’m holding back dLKFJD) but i think it depends also a lot on some thematic it wants to tackle and the spirit of the characters in each troupe. It changes as the story progresses but yeah after all, they are all strangers. And while the game mentions they have a few months to prepare for their play, it was reckoned that every play takes one month to prepare, so it doesn’t really give a lot of time on their first play to really figure out everything they need to work on.
Spring, in essence, as a season, is about blooming back after Winter, after sadness and hardship, and learning how to slowly open up again. So imo their intro chap have to reflect that slow progress for them. While Summer can afford to be more loud, straight to the point (and even there it’s not always easy), Summer is full of learning from their mistake, living in the Now, in the Moment. So their season thematic reflects a bit in their intro chap at least. (ofc they all grow from there though but that’s still interesting imo).
anyway i rambled LDFJDLKFJFDLK
I didn’t mean it in a way to say your reading is invalid though!! sorry if it feels that way, i’ve tried rewriting it a few times DLKFJDLFK i just have a lot of emotions about Spring and the points you mentioned made me think about some stuff about it.
ANYWAY
if you want to share your thoughts about summer too and the rest you’re always welcomed o7 i’m glad you’re still enjoying your stay, and i hope you’ll keep enjoying the ride!
And Take care!
#ichafantalks a3#Anonymous#ichareply#long post for ts#i'll huh go back to see if i can put a readmore somewhere brb
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Jughead Jones: Purpose
Requested by: heh no one:)
Prompt by @writing-prompt-s: On everyone’s 18th birthday at noon, one word appears in their skin, depicting their career or purpose in life. On your birthday you’re staring at a clock showing 11:59am, family and friends gathered around for your reveal.
Warnings: eh uh cursing probably? Das it lol. F l u f f bitch.
Notes: it tis I. Hello it's been forever. I was just really bored and I wanted to write for my mans. And I'm gonna switch it up a bit whoop. The whole one word thing is gonna be someone's name🤔. Bet you can guess who. It's probs gonna be short. Bc I'm shit srry. Also I know my uh formatting is bullshit so I'm going to *try* to change it. Also I started on this last night but I got distracted by fucking Halsey so. Hehe ft the first verse of him and I. Ya already know I didn't proofread but I hope you like it(:
11:59 pm
My clock read. In about a minute, it'll be my 18th birthday. You know usually it's no big deal. But in this town, your life depends on it. Because at exactly 12:00 pm, a word would pop up in dark ink, stating your purpose in life. Pretty weird, right?
12:00 am
It's officially my birthday. I'm actually 18 now. I am currently hanging out with my friends. 2 years later you'd think Sweet Water River still wouldn't be as popular since Jason Blossom's death. But no, after a year people started going back. And that's where we were on this lovely night. Blankets spread and bottles open. Laughing our asses off at complete nonsense.
1:00 am
Everyone gathered around the small fire. Jughead sitting by my side. Content with life. They were all sharing their favorite memories with me. "Remember when we first met, y/n/n? You weren't exactly the nicest that day." Veronica said. "Hey! I wasn't having a good day okay. And you came in with this cheery ass attitude and I was annoyed." We all laughed.
2:00 am
"Y/n/n, remember your 5th birthday? You got so pissed because dad wouldn't get you the Barbie Townhouse. So I gave you my favorite truck." Archie laughed. "Oh Arch, I still have it! I played with it until I was like 12. It's my most prized possession." I smiled remembering those years. I could feel my eyes starting to water.
3:00 am
"Y/n?" Jughead whispered. "Yes?" I smiled looking at the green eyed boy. "Remember on my 16th birthday, you gave me a book of poems that you had written?" I nodded, curious as to what he was getting to. "Here." He had handed me a journal with a slightly worn out leather cover. "What is it?" I asked cheerily. "I wrote a book about you." I grinned and kissed him. "Thank you, babe!"
4:00 am
Everyone had eventually fallen asleep. Except for Jughead and I. I looked up at him, taking in his features. Not like I haven't done it a million times. But everytime I look at him, I'm amazed at how beautiful he is and how I get to wake up to him every day. "What're you thinking about, angel?" I blushed at the nickname. 2 years and he's still able to make blush profusely.
"What do you think my purpose is in life?" He paused for a moment. "I think you'd be a doctor, because you're always helping people. Or a writer." I nodded. Sounds about right. I cuddled into him more and stared at the stars.
10:00 am
Everyone had went back to their homes and gotten ready for my party. Jughead stayed behind and helped me set up. Once we were finished it was about 10:30. We just cuddled and talked. "Jughead I'm gonna read the book you wrote. I wanna see what I'm like in Jughead's beautiful mind." I said with a smile. I read the little poem he'd written at the beginning aloud.
"Cross my heart, hope to die
To my lover, I'd never lie
She said "be true," I swear I'll try
In the end, it's her and I
She's out her head, I'm out my mind
We got that love, the crazy kind
I am hers, and she is mine.
In the end, it's her and I"
I'm pretty sure I was like crying. I looked up at him and just jumped in his arms. "I love you, Jughead Jones." He kissed my forehead and grinned. "I love you too, Y/f/n Y/l/n."
11:50 am
In about 10 minutes, my life was going to change. Whatever my job or purpose was in life was what I was going to be doing until I retire. I was a nervous wreck to say the least. Jughead saw my shaking and just held me. "Don't be nervous, angel. Whatever it is I'm sure you'll love it."
11:59 am
Everyone gathered around me as I nervously awaited my destiny in life. I looked at all their faces. The people I've know since forever. My dad, FP, Archie, Jughead, The Coopers, Cheryl, The Lodges, The Pussycats, everyone.
12:00 pm
I felt the ink carving it's way into my wrist. I looked down at the newly tatted word and it read
"Jughead"
My boy was right. It was something that I loved. He was my purpose.
#riverdale#riverdale imagine#riverdale smut#jughead jones#jughead jones imagine#jughead x reader#jughead jones smut#archie andrews#archie andrews imagine#archie andrews smut#veronica lodge#veronica lodge imagine#veronica lodge smut#cheryl blossom#cheryl blossom imagine#cheryl x reader#cheryl blossom smut#reggie mantle#reggie mantle imagine#reggie mantle smut#toni topaz#toni topaz imagine#sweet pea imagine
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