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when-they-write-stuff · 4 years

Note

I'm really curious about 39. “I want to marry you.” but like asked in a serious way. So glad you're back, take care 🤗

The first time Derek came swinging through Stiles’s window without permission, Stiles freaked out so hard, he ended up launching his can of coke at Derek’s face.

The man had fallen off the roof in his own surprise. He hadn’t seemed very happy about that.

But when Stiles had started to realize that hey, maybe Derek Hale wasn’t such a giant creeper, he still didn’t expect the late-night visits, okay? Even Scott didn’t do nearly as much stalking. Well, not over him. Maybe over Allison. But he only went creepy werewolf on Stiles occasionally, which he really appreciated.

Derek seemed to be a different story.

The first time he came swinging through Stiles’s window without permission, Stiles threw a can of coke at his face, Derek fell off the roof with a barked curse, and then he hadn’t come back to the house for an entire month.

That had been fine by Stiles at the time. And Derek knocked more often than not now.

Sometimes, he came to talk about the Monster of the Week. Sometimes, he came to chew Stiles out for putting himself in danger when they were facing the Monster of the Week. Sometimes, he just came to sit broodingly in the corner and that was something Stiles still had yet to understand.

Sometimes, Derek came with food.

Stiles may or may not have made that a mandatory rule when the man came anytime before eight in the morning or after eleven at night.

“Oh my god,” Stiles said, taking the offered bag Derek had brought that night. The moment he opened it, the best smell in the world came wafting out and Stiles moaned. “Curly fries. Oh my god, Sourwolf, I want to marry you.”

In a split second, Derek’s face had gone from neutrally blank to bright red. Except Stiles was much too busy digging the container of fries out to really notice.

He might have been a little intrigued if he had.

“So,” Stiles said, stuffing a few into his mouth and glancing back up. “What is it tonight? Hunters? Witches? I know for a fact I haven’t done anything wrong lately, so if you’re here to go all bossy Alpha on me—”

“It’s nothing like that,” Derek said. Stiles narrowed his eyes, still chewing.

“Uh, okay?”

“I was in the area,” Derek said, suddenly focusing on the floor. Stiles swallowed and continued to study the man, a little more carefully this time. Because he was pretty sure something was off.

“So you got me fries?”

Derek froze. He stared at the floor as if it was the most interesting thing in the world before turning around. Stiles stared in confusion as Derek pulled himself right back out the window; without another word or hint. Without literally anything. In a second, Stiles was left alone in his room with a bag of curly fries and he had no idea what had just happened.

But Derek was gone and Stiles was alone.

He was so confused.

There was this one time Stiles had been awake for so long, he’d started to think he was living in a TV show and he was pretty sure their entire group was basically the Scooby-Doo gang brought to life with a lot more tragedy.

If Derek’s plans never worked out, did that make him Fred? He thought the man might kill him if Stiles even dared call him Scooby.

But that wasn’t the point. The point was, they had been chasing a witch around Beacon Hills for two weeks now and Stiles hadn’t slept in three days. Every time he thought they were getting close, it was another dead end. And Stiles was about to tear his hair out.

He was half-asleep at the loft when Derek came looming over the couch. Stiles nearly startled out of his own skin, sure he was seeing things for a moment. But that was definitely the growly-brows that he knew so well.

He closed his laptop and smiled tiredly at the man. Derek frowned harder.

“You smell tired.”

Stiles rolled his eyes. “Oh, thank god, I thought you were going to say I smell- smell for a second there. Which might be fair, because I might have forgotten to shower this… week? But it’d still be rude and I might’ve had to punch you.”

From across the room, Erica snorted into her cereal. Derek shot her a red-eyed glare before fixing Stiles with a dark look again. “You need to get some sleep.”

“Yeah, no kidding. And once the witch is caught, dude, I will sleep for at least a straight day.”

“No,” Derek growled. Stiles blinked.

“Uh, no?”

“No. You need to sleep now.”

Stiles stared at him for a long moment. Then he shook his head and opened his laptop again, only to squawk in protest as Derek grabbed it off his lap, closing it again and setting it on the coffee table. The moment Stiles tried to reach for it, the man gave him a threatening look.

Stiles carefully drew his hands back.

“Okay, Sourwolf, use your words. What’s happening here?”

“You haven’t slept in days,” Derek said gruffly. “Now you need to either go home and get some sleep or sleep here, I don’t care. But you need rest. You’re not going to do the pack any good if you’re sleep-deprived.”

“Oh, I’m so glad to see this is for the betterment of the pack, then.”

Derek narrowed his eyes. Stiles sighed, flopping back onto the couch. He would never admit out loud that even doing that was like a weight had been taken off his shoulders. But maybe he could do with a little power nap.

Derek was still looming over him like a giant fluffy thundercloud. Stiles raised an eyebrow, gesturing down at himself.

“Dude, see? I’m resting. You can stop being all grumpy Alpha now.”

Derek looked at him for a long moment. Then he turned away, disappearing down the hall, and Stiles watched him until he was out of sight. Then he sighed, turning his gaze up toward the ceiling.

But Derek came back after only a few seconds with a blanket and pillow. Stiles sat straight back up.

“Dude, what are those?”

“I don’t know, Stiles. What do they look like to you?”

“You’re using sarcasm. I’m confused.”

Derek gave him a look that screaming nothing other than; ‘Of course, you are’ and Stiles frowned at that. But then the man was tucking the pillow at the end of the couch and draping the blanket over him, and Stiles felt a bit like a child being tucked into bed.

“You know, Sourwolf,” he said, laying back down. “We have to be married for you to be so marital about this. I’m just saying.”

Derek froze, standing over him. The man’s jaw ticked and Stiles was sure he was going to get his throat ripped out for a second. But then Derek just turned away, shooting Erica another red-eyed look as she continued to laugh, and Stiles was left alone.

He blinked at the ceiling again, head spinning.

Because he was pretty sure he still had no idea what had just happened.

Movie nights had quickly become a pack favorite and that had thrown Stiles through a loop at first. Because he was pretty sure the pack would have a ‘to the death’ tournament before ever agreeing mutually on a movie. But then they figured out a pretty fair system which was really just Lydia tending to make the final decisions, and everyone was really just too scared to risk disputing her.

Even Derek never said a word.

That might’ve been why they watched romcoms and Hallmark movies more often than anything else, but Stiles didn’t really hate it. Pack nights meant spending his Friday nights with the pack instead of alone at home while his dad worked. They meant pizza, popcorn, and the occasional accompanying board game that almost always ended in declarations of revenge.

They were nice. Or something.

Because Derek was the one with the secret fortune, he always ended up buying the pack an entire stack of pizzas. Stiles had felt a little bad at first but then Derek got this glow when he ordered and passed out his pack’s favorite pizzas, and Stiles hadn’t said a word after that.

They’d already picked out some rom-com movie by the time Derek showed up with the pizzas and the pack was instantly crowding around him, each searching for their own. Stiles stayed lounging on the couch, fast-forwarding through the commercials, when Derek came over and set a box in his lap. Blinking, Stiles glanced up.

“Usually, I share with Scott.”

Derek’s ears turned red and he didn’t say a word, dropping onto the couch at Stiles’s side and facing the TV. Stiles continued to eye him, waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it never did. Carefully, as if it was going to grow arms, legs, and maybe attempt to eat him, Stiles lifted up the top.

It didn’t attempt to attack or eat him. He blinked at the pizza for a moment and then stared at Derek again.

“This is black olive and pepperoni.”

Derek gave him a flat look. Stiles narrowed his eyes.

“I never get black olives.”

“But you like them.”

“Yeah, but Scott doesn’t.”

“So?”

“Usually, I share with Scott.”

Derek rolled his eyes and faced the TV again. Stiles was half-aware of the pack watching them from their own spots and pizzas, but he proceeded to act like the rest of the loft was empty. Derek was very determinedly avoiding his gaze now and Stiles was ninety-percent sure that no one actually knew about his secret favorite pizza. Other than his dad, maybe. But Scott hated black olives so in return, Stiles never even bothered with that order.

Lydia muttered something about tension from the side and then the movie was officially starting. Slowly, Stiles tore his gaze away and faced the TV.

Derek moved closer and for a second, Stiles’s breaths caught. But then the man just took a slice of his pizza and Stiles stared at him incredulously.

“Derek.”

“What?”

“I’m so confused right now.”

Derek looked defensive. “Maybe you don’t always have to share a pizza with Scott.”

Stiles glanced across the coffee table, but Scott was wrapped around Allison and didn’t appear to have heard a word they said. When he looked back at Derek, he could’ve sworn the man looked a little smug, grunting and pulling the pizza closer to himself.

“Whatever. Don’t eat all my pizza.”

“I did buy it.”

“Oh, I see. So the Sourwolf is a fan of black olives too, huh?”

Derek shrugged and took another slice. Stiles made a few noises of protest which earned him shushing from all around the room. He gave the rest of the pack a stink eye and then turned it to Derek.

“You’re eating all of my pizza.”

“I’ll buy you another.”

“Soon? Tonight? Is this a marriage proposal, Sourwolf?”

“You’re an idiot, Stiles.”

But Stiles just eyed the man and his red face and wondered if he really was. He stared until it had probably been too long and Derek gave him another flat, slightly murderous look, and then tore his gaze away. But he wasn’t even paying attention to the movie now.

And he didn’t for the rest of the night.

Not with Derek sitting right up next to him, so close that Stiles could probably fall asleep on his shoulder if he wanted to. Not that he ever would. He appreciated having a throat. But he was also pretty sure there was plenty of space further down the couch.

Not that Stiles was complaining. Not at all.

He was just… intrigued.

Stiles sat in the middle of his bed with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and tried to pretend the man sitting a few feet away wasn’t Derek Hale.

It was nearing midnight and Stiles had attempted to kick Derek out, he really had! But then the man had grunted something about needing help with the wendigo that they were tracking and Stiles found himself unable to dispute that. Which might have been why he was sitting in his pjs while Derek Hale poured over the research he’d attempted; two empty fast food bags abandoned a little ways over and Stiles’s open laptop playing the first Avengers as he claimed a need for the second distraction.

This was probably a dumb idea. Because his dad was home, Derek had never come over when his dad was home, and every time Stiles heard a noise outside his bedroom door or downstairs, he had to smother the fight or flight urge.

It wasn’t like his dad didn’t know Derek swung by sometimes, but… Stiles didn’t often divulge the consistency of Derek’s nightly visits. He was terrified his dad might have words to say about that if he did.

“Hey, dude,” Stiles said, glancing back over. “Remember that one time you used to be afraid of my father? Yeah, I do too. When did that change?”

“We’re not doing anything wrong.”

“Oh wow, no. Not at all. Other than werewolf stuff at midnight in the middle of a school week.”

Derek blinked, glancing up from the bestiary. He actually looked confused and Stiles wondered for the first time if Derek even realized the hours that had passed since he’d shown up. Through the window of course, because Derek might claim to not be scared of his dad, but he never actually used the front door, did he?

Stiles wondered if that was a werewolf thing. But no… that was vampires, right? The whole, invite-only shebang.

Derek glanced at the laptop screen and winced. Stiles barked a laugh.

“Oh my god, Sourwolf, you totally lost track of time. What, does being around this amazing token human make the hours blur by? I always knew you liked me.”

“Shut up, Stiles.”

“The classic response. I think that means I’m starting to get through to you. Or underneath your skin. Or something.”

“Like a parasite.”

“Hey, rude!”

Derek just smirked at him. Literally smirked. Stiles didn’t really know what to do with the way his heart fluttered at that and he very pointedly fixed his gaze back on the laptop screen. Derek shuffled around a little bit more, gathering up the papers, and Stiles blinked at him.

“Uh, what are you doing?”

“... Leaving.”

“Okay, dude. Why?”

“It’s past midnight and your father is home.”

“Oh my god,” Stiles said, rolling his eyes. “Look, he already knows you show up and random times like a total creeper. Heck, from the things he asks me sometimes, I’d be worried he thinks we’re married or something. If you hear him come upstairs, just duck under the bed or something.”

Derek’s expression was flat but his ears were burning bright red. “Stiles, I’m not hiding underneath your bed from your father.”

“I mean… there’s always the closet, but—”

“Good night, Stiles.”

Stiles clamped his mouth shut and watched the man set the stack of papers and books on his desk. He offered his best glare when Derek glanced back, but the man didn’t seem to care. In a couple of seconds, Stiles’s window was being pushed up, the cool night air was breezing in, and then Derek was gone.

Stiles stared at the window for a moment longer, still glaring. That slipped away into a small frown, which slipped away into nothing. Sighing, Stiles shut his laptop and pulled himself up.

It was then that he realized Derek had forgotten his jacket on the back of Stiles’s desk.

For some reason, that made him smile.

The intruding pack took Stiles because he smelled like Derek. Which meant maybe wearing the man’s leather jacket around all the time and conveniently ‘forgetting’ to bring it back to the loft during pack nights wasn’t the best idea he’d ever had.

But Stiles didn’t always have the best ideas. So whatever.

He may or may not have been conveniently wearing Derek’s jacket when he was taken from the school parking lot and at first, he was pretty sure they thought he was Derek. But then when he severely lacked in blazing red eyes and fangs, Stiles was hit over the head and stuffed into the trunk; not the best way for them to introduce themselves, if he had a say in it.

He didn’t get a say in it.

By the time the car stopped moving and Stiles was moderately coming back to consciousness, he was hauled out and dumped to the ground with enough force to nearly knock him out again. His ears rang and Stiles groaned, a foot sinking into his stomach the moment he tried to make a sound.

“Can it, kid.”

Stiles clenched his jaw, eyes squeezed shut in pain. The ground beneath him was cool; probably cement. The sound of footsteps around him echoed through the air and Stiles had put two and two together before he was opening his eyes again.

What was it with the Beacon Hills big-bads always living in abandoned warehouses? Stiles would just like to ask.

The pack wasn’t very big when Stiles glanced around. A handful of blue-eyed betas gave him guarded looks as the man that Stiles could only assume was the Alpha stepped out of the shadows. He flinched away as the wolf approached and promptly scrambled up, only to be kicked back down by a beta behind him again.

Laughter filled the air. Stiles scowled.

“You realize Derek’s going to kick all of your little furry asses, right?”

Laughter turned to growls. The man paused in front of Stiles and offered a sharp-toothed grin. “Derek Hale. The Alpha to a bunch of teenagers.”

“Have you ever pissed off a teenager? Cause it never ends well. Especially if they have furry problems and terrible control.”

“You smell like the Alpha.”

Stiles felt his face turn a little hot. “That’s an innocent mistake.”

The man must have heard his heart skip an audible beat because his expression turned even more amused. Stiles scrambled back as he took a step forward; but a sharp growl at his back had him freezing. Swallowing hard, Stiles turned back forward.

“What do you want with Derek?”

“We wanted to talk.”

“Dude, you nearly ripped my throat out earlier. That’s a crappy start to a conversation.”

The Alpha’s expression was nothing but sinister. Stiles dropped his gaze to the floor before the Alpha moved closer and he was on his guard again. Because he wasn’t Derek. So what the hell did they want with him?

“Clearly, kid, you matter to the Alpha.”

Stiles looked up in surprise, but the man looked completely serious. Despite himself, Stiles rolled his eyes. “Yeah, about as much as a parasite living underneath his skin.”

The man’s eyes narrowed. Stiles snorted.

“It’s an inside joke.”

“I see. If we killed you, how much would it hurt him?”

Stiles’s blood went cold. He froze in his position and tried to ignore the growls that erupted behind him. A shiver crept down his spine and he silently wondered how long he’d have to ramble for in order to keep his throat intact until Scott, Derek, or someone came.

“I’m a thorn in Derek’s side,” Stiles said weakly. “Seriously, dude. He won’t care if you kill me.”

“So you’re useless then.”

Stiles swallowed hard. “Uh, no? I know some really good jokes and have been told that my rambling is the perfect way to pass the time. I mean, if you really want me to shut up then grunt, growling, and the occasional shove into the closest wall is usually Derek’s go-to. Might I recommend that?”

The Alpha stepped closer and Stiles scrambled up. This time, there was no one there to kick him back down and he stumbled in panic across the warehouse as the pack advanced closer. Stiles would really rather not be found by his dad mangled and torn apart, thank you very much. He’d really rather not go that way.

Stiles had wolfsbane mace in his backpack. But that had been left on the ground when he’d been taken.

“Look, look,” Stiles said, throwing up his hands. “I’m sure we could make an arrangement here! How about you let me go, I’ll give you a thirty-minute head start to run from Beacon Hills, and then never mention to my pack how ugly you all were?”

Eyes lit up the darkness; four pairs of blue and one pair of red. Stiles chuckled weakly.

“Or I could just never mention the ugly part ever again?”

The Alpha’s face shifted and a squeak built up in Stiles’s throat as the man moved forward, fangs and claws gleaming. But before he could have his throat ripped out, there was an echoing roar that filled the air, followed by a series of howls.

Sometimes, Stiles hated the pack’s timing. Sometimes, he was just relieved they actually showed up.

The Alpha whirled around and howled back. Stiles stood stock-still as he spotted Derek coming out of the darkness and the man’s eyes snapped to him first, face fully shifted.

“Stiles, get back!”

He really didn’t need to be told twice. Stiles scrambled back as the others moved forward, wishing for nothing more than his mace or baseball bat. He was totally going to start carrying a knife on his person. Goddammit, he was going to start carrying multiple knives on his person.

Stiles didn’t make it far before there was a pain ripping through his shoulder and he was yanked back. He went hard to the floor, vision spotted red with pain, and then he spotted one of the betas from earlier. The one who’d kept kicking him around.

Stiles snarled, trying to pull himself back up. The man’s blue eyes shone in the dim light.

“Don’t mean anything to the Alpha, huh, kid?”

“I really think he just hates doing research,” Stiles said, scrambling back. “I also have a theory he doesn’t know how to properly work a computer. Or you know, I’ve just gotten underneath his skin. Like a parasite.”

“Inside joke?”

Stiles offered his most winning smile. “Inside joke.”

The beta snarled and leaped forward.

In the past, Stiles had been used as bait, become a popular accidental target, and spent too many of his weekday nights running through the preserve for his life. So he was able to dodge swiping claws fairly easily, pinwheeling around the beta with a yelp. Stiles retreated away and caught sight of his friends beyond the approaching ‘wolf, noticing with a sinking heart that they were all still engaged.

The beta seemed to realize that as well because he approached slowly. Claws out, fangs bared. Stiles moved backward until he was tripping over a bunch of cargo boxes and wood planks, and then he realized he was nearing the wall.

“Guess you don’t mean quite enough, kid.”

Stiles’s breaths lodged in his throat. God, he could not die like this.

He grabbed the nearest wood plank, swinging as the beta leaped forward again. It cracked off the side of his skull and the man roared, stumbling sideways. Stiles attempted to use that chance to make a break for the others, but he really should have known better than attempting to outrun a werewolf.

He was tackled back to the floor in less than five seconds, flipping to his back and kicking wildly out. It was times like this Stiles really wished for a pair of his own claws.

The beta dug claws into his shoulders. Stiles howled in pain.

Then the man was being yanked off.

Stiles caught a blur of movement. There was a thud and a whimper as the beta was shoved into the nearest wall and Stiles thought he caught the metallic scent of blood. Glancing blearily up, Stiles caught a flash of red eyes and Derek’s shaking body as he restrained a set of claws against the man’s neck.

“Your pack turned tail and ran,” Derek snarled. “This is your chance to follow them. But if I ever catch even the slightest whiff of your scent back in Beacon Hills, next time, I’ll rip out your throat. With my teeth. Got it?”

The man nodded. There were hands helping Stiles up as the beta moved around Derek and took off. He was gone from the warehouse in a matter of moments.

Stiles groaned as Erica steadied him by the shoulders a little too roughly, swaying on his feet. Derek’s red eyes flashed as he turned around and she quickly drew back.

“Perfect timing as always Sourwolf,” Stiles said, attempting a small grin. But dammit, he hurt. “Quite nice. Very romantic. I’d totally propose or something right now, but if I get down on one knee I don’t think I’ll be getting back up.”

Derek growled again. Stiles winced.

“Keep the grunts and growls on the down low, dude. I’m fine.”

“You’re hurt.”

“I’m moderately fine.”

Derek’s gaze snapped beyond his shoulder. “Go after the pack and make sure they are out of Beacon Hills tonight. I don’t want them even attempting to stick around. And call Scott. Tell him his best friend was hurt while he was skipping school with Allison and I’d like to have a chat.”

Stiles winced at that. “Oh my god, dude, please don’t do that. No chats needed. I’m moderately fine!”

“You,” Derek said, fixing his red eyes back on where Stiles stood. The shiver he got from that wasn’t fair at all. “Are going to a hospital.”

“Or maybe I could just take a shower and the loft and avoid freaking out my dad?”

There was blood making his shirt— and Derek’s jacket— stick to his skin, Stiles noticed. The leather had actually provided a little more protection against the beta’s claws, though. It was better than being in nothing but a thin t-shirt. Derek stepped forward, searching him up and down, and his face did something funny.

Stiles’s stomach twisted. He dropped his gaze.

“Fine. If you don’t say anything, I’ll go to the hospital. But only because I might need stitches.”

The sound that left Derek’s throat was nothing but feral. Maybe with a little bit of a whine? But Stiles just hunched deeper into the jacket and turned away, not waiting for the man. The other betas were already gone. Stiles had thought Scott might have been with them, but his heart sunk a little when he realized the boy had not been.

Though it's not like he could have known, right? Stiles could have been anywhere. He’d skipped out on classes before.

Usually for pack stuff.

He waited silently by the Camaro parked outside of the warehouse for Derek, still looking anywhere but the man’s face. And the ride to the hospital was a tense one.

Derek never asked for his jacket back. Just checked him in, stayed until Melissa came, muttered something about Scott and the others, and then was gone. Stiles didn’t know how he was supposed to feel about that.

He needed stitches. And when his dad had shown up, he’d seemed too relieved to be furious.

Stiles supposed it was the little things.

He didn’t see Derek for a little while after that.

He didn’t know if it was because Derek was avoiding him or Stiles was avoiding Derek… but he wasn’t outright trying to, okay? He just didn’t go to a few pack meetings and Derek stopped swinging through his window every other night. Stiles stopped wondering if he would. Scott had a come by a few times for a solid two weeks and then he tapered off too.

Stiles threw himself into upcoming finals for his first senior semester. He couldn’t tell if his dad seemed relieved at this or worried at how little Stiles was leaving the house.

The man had even tried to bring it up a few times. Or, more so, he tried to bring up Derek.

Stiles did his best to just wave it all off.

So four weeks passed. To say Stiles was settling into the lull of things would be completely accurate and he was actually starting to remember what it was like to have a regular schedule. Not like he didn’t kind of miss pack movie nights, unexpected Derek Hale visits, or running around Beacon Hills for his life because... maybe he did? Just a little bit. Stiles figured he’d just give it time. So he could look Derek in the eyes without feeling like he was going to drown in embarrassment.

Derek’s jacket hung in his closet. Stiles hadn’t touched it since returning home from the hospital and he was pretty sure it was still covered in blood. Though, dammit, if Derek wanted it back, he could come get the thing himself.

And then Derek did come.

The last thing Stiles had expected was a visitor, so when his window was opened without a warning, his first reaction was to leap out of bed and launch the closest thing nearby at the intruder. Much like the first time.

Except this time, it wasn’t a soda.

There was a loud grunt and a curse as Stiles’s fifth-grade soccer trophy bounced off of Derek’s head. This time, the man didn’t fall off the roof, which Stiles thought was a plus. But he did look downright pissed off.

“Dammit, Stiles!”

“Dammit Stiles? Dammit, Stiles? Dude, what have we established about knocking!”

Derek glared with red eyes, pulling himself all the way into the room. Stiles glared right back, folding his arms over his chest and raising an eyebrow.

“What the hell are you doing here anyway?”

“What does it look like?”

“Uh, I dunno. Crawling into my bedroom like a total creeper after nearly a month of radio silence?”

Derek’s eye twitched. But Stiles didn’t budge.

“I’m fine, if that’s why you came. Or, your jacket’s in the closet. I…” he faltered a little bit, uncrossing his arms and dropping down onto the edge of his best. “I didn’t wash it. But I can do that and bring it by the loft later if that’s what you’d prefer.”

Derek was looking at him like he’d grown horns now. Stiles scowled.

“What?”

“I didn’t come for the jacket.”

Stiles looked at him for a long moment. His scowl slipped. “Oh.”

“I did come to see if you were okay.”

“I’m fine.”

“The stitches are out?”

“One week ago.”

“Oh,” Derek said and this time he was the quiet one. The man nodded, eyes dropping to his feet. “That’s good.”

“Yeah, well, you can go now.”

Grey-green eyes snapped back up. Derek actually looked startled. “You want me to leave?”

“You want to stay?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Oh geez,” Stiles said, his anger mounting again. “Dude, I don’t know. Maybe because you haven’t come by in ages. You know, after dumping me at the hospital and then making like it was hot. I’m so sorry if I did something to offend you. I’m so sorry if me nearly dying was offensive to you!”

“Do you know why you nearly died, Stiles?”

“Because the token human is always the easiest to take a jab at?”

“No, you idiot. Because you smelled like me!”

Stiles froze, all of his anger dissipating. Derek looked at him with red eyes and if he was honest, Stiles had known that. He’d been an idiot. He’d pranced around in a leather jacket that made him feel all gooey for some reason and in return, the big baddies actually thought he mattered. Actually thought that Stiles Stilinski, token human, mattered.

Mattered to Derek Hale.

“You smelled like me,” Derek said, stepping closer. “And that got you hurt.”

“So what, you take off for a few weeks? What, Derek? What do I smell like now? Do I even smell like pack anymore?”

Derek’s face fell. Stiles felt his stomach twist.

“I don’t, do I?”

“It gets you hurt. I shouldn’t have— started things.”

Stiles stared at him for a long moment. Then he swallowed hard, retreating a step back. “Things? What, like the research projects? The pack nights? Cause that’s not allowed, is it? Derek Hale isn’t allowed to let people think he cares. Well dammit, Sourwolf, you were really good at that. I almost fell for it too.”

Derek’s eyes flashed for a moment. Shaking his head, Stiles turned around and pulled the closet open, pulling out the man’s jacket. It was still a little bloody when he shoved it into Derek’s hands and the man visibly flinched.

“Just… tell Scott the things your pack needs. I don’t have to come over anymore, dude. And you don’t either.”

Derek’s face was tight when he looked at Stiles, expression betraying nothing. The man nodded and started to turn away and Stiles clenched his jaw hard, looking at the floor. Because dammit, he’d messed things up. He’d turned a good thing sour.

He should have returned the stupid jacket right away. He shouldn’t have been so dumb.

Silence fell over the room. When Stiles dared glance back up, Derek was looking at the jacket in his hands. The man’s shoulders were tense and he just stood there. Window open, the cool night air breezing in. His grip was white-knuckled around the jacket.

Stiles clenched his jaw even tighter when the man turned around.

“I do care.”

Stiles’s heart skipped a beat. Derek dropped the jacket to the floor, nudging it away, and then glanced back up. Grey-green eyes searched Stiles’s face.

“I— I do care. And I’d like to care. For a while. But I can’t do that if you get hurt and I can’t do that if you die, Stiles.”

“I’m not going to die.”

The man gave him an exasperated look. Stiles swallowed hard.

“... I don’t plan on dying?”

“But you can’t say that for sure.”

Stiles looked at him for a long moment. Then he stepped forward and brushed the tips of his fingers against Derek’s. The man shuddered, catching his hands, and Stiles offered a small smile. “Okay, so I can’t. But come on, dude, that’s the thing about promises. I promise stupid stuff all the time. Remember that time I vowed I was gonna marry you just because you brought me curly fries?”

Derek’s face turned red. Stiles grinned harder.

“How about you care a little, I care a little, and we trust that’s going to be enough? Because hell, dude, I don’t plan on dying anytime soon. I really don't plan on dying soon. And I mean, am I really much safer tagging at the pack’s heels instead of being a part of it? Instead of being… the Alpha’s?”

Derek’s eyes were red now. And they were locked on Stiles’s face as he shrugged.

“I just require the occasional curly fry delivery every now and then because you were in the area. And you’re not allowed to run after dropping them off.”

Derek didn’t say a word. Stiles raised a brow.

“Sourpuss?”

“You’d be mine,” Derek said. Stiles grinned.

“I mean, I don’t know a ton about marriage, but is that like a proposal? Because I am an eighteen-year-old teenager, Sourwolf, and I still need to finish high school. But yeah, I’d probably be okay with being werewolf married to you one day. Of course, that’s going to require a bit more bribing than some curly fries—”

Stiles cut off mid-sentence. Because suddenly, there were lips on his own, effectively shutting him up, and Stiles’s brain logged off as he realized Derek Hale was kissing him. Derek Hale. Of course, maybe he should have expected if because possible werewolf proposals—

Derek drew back for only a second. “Stop thinking so hard.”

And Stiles just grinned. Because Derek Hale was kissing him, Derek Hale cared, and Stiles was totally going to start making sure he used the front door instead of the window. His dad was going to have to be slowly introduced to this.

Or you know… with time. A little bit more time.

Stiles kissed Derek harder and decided maybe it could take just a little bit more time.

- -

I swear, this was not supposed to nearly be 6k words. But I wanted to make it 5+1 things and then I couldn't decide where I wanted to end it. So here we are! Thank you so much for the prompt nonnie, I had so much fun!

(if you enjoy my writing, consider supporting your student writer? You can also request a prompt if you’d like!). https://ko-fi.com/rh27writer

#teen wolf #sterek #derek hale #stiles stilinski #derek x stiles #all the fluff and humor #light angst #5+1 things #prompt #ficlet

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missinghan · 4 years

Text

young & beautiful ⤖ lee felix

❖ genre : zombie apocalypse!au; punk! au

❖ word count : 13,1k.

❖ warning : explicit language, mentions of alcohol & violence

❖ summary : you’ve always thought your soulmate was an idiot to not be there sooner but eventually, everything connects when it started with Lee Felix holding your best friend at gunpoint.

one.

Jisung puffs his cheeks out and stares at his own reflection on the glass table. The bartender quickly comes back, pushing a tequila sunrise towards his direction. The boy takes an awful amount of time to study how the yellow, almost orange liquid bleeds into a deep red effortlessly.

He shakes his bang away furiously, calling out for the bartender. “Uhm, I just ordered a Coke. Not this.”

“Have a drink kid, it’s on me.”

He pushes the glass away. “No thanks.”

“What kind of adult doesn’t drink alcohol in desperate times?”

“Then what kind of bartender doesn’t run for his life when ravenous freaks are lurking the streets?”

The bartender tips his head back and laughs wholeheartedly. “Listen, kid. It’s either beating the shit out of someone or getting wasted to keep the little amount of sanity left on your mind. So I’m staying here for them alcoholics. Business is running low, not taking any risks.” He wipes his hand onto his white apron, throwing him a playful wink. “Call me if you need anything.”

Jisung beams innocently. “Do you have a pencil? And paper too?”

“Jisung you can’t be serious, where are you?”

Minutes later, he’s starting to regret the questionable-looking sketch of a squirrel on the piece of paper that the bartender gave him. Instead, he presses the tip of the pencil harder onto the surface until it snaps in half, leaving the sharp wooden edges sticking out. He can kill the bartender with this if he decides to spike his drink, Jisung figures. He hesitantly brings the rim of the glass to his lips and takes the smallest sip possible. The burning sensation goes down his throat in matters of seconds. His entire windpipe feels like it’s on fire.

“Hey, I need some water..” He chokes out as someone enters the bar.

The bartender averts his gaze onto the new customer. “Cool, what about you?”

The unfamiliar figure sits beside him, murmuring. “I’m not here for the drinks, but him.”

The bartender looks confused. “A water it is then?”

Jisung’s head starts spinning slightly, dizziness bubbling up inside his chest. He hiccups with the pencil held between his fingers. Something’s wrong with this man. He needs to get out of here, now. “Sorry, I don’t feel too well. I think I’ll get back to—“ Just when he slips himself off the stool, two other men appear out of nowhere and block his way as the first one firmly holds him in place by his shoulders. Jisung immediately turns to the bartender, signaling him to run with his eyes. And the bartender does as he insists.

One of the thugs growls gruffly, making Jisung drop the black duffle bag in his hand. “You’re gonna have to pay for what you did, boy.”

“Hi, I’m Jisung. Sup guys?”

“Did you just say ‘Hi, I’m Jisung’?”

Jisung grimaces as you hiss into the earpiece, the sound screeching against his eardrums. In which, it doesn't really help to cool the situation down. He drops onto his knees when a guy kicks him in the shin, face scrunching up in pain. One of the guys surrounded him hides behind a face mask, whipping out a dagger concealed in his sleeve. With a cheerful voice, “There’s nothing to be all grabby and stabby about.” Jisung gulps. He’d be lying if he said that he’s not about to piss his pants.

“Uhm, do you like the color red?”

The one who’s holding him down snaps, pulling his collar backward. “Shut it, twig.” He elbows him at the back of his head, earning a low, painful grunt.

Jisung asks, as light as a feather, he’s trying too hard to form a proper sentence at this point. “What about coding? Do you like coding? You guys look pretty smart, you must be into coding.”

“Jisung, the hell-- CODE RED, JEONGIN, CODE RED! JISUNG’S IN TROUBLE!”

He sighs in relief when you finally understand, limbs growing wobbly.

“Han, get the hell out of there! I swear--”

Your words get cut off when a goon peels the earpiece away harshly, examining the device with an amused smirk. “Look at this toy, it might be pretty expensive.” Then, he looks at his gang member and cocks a brow. “Why don’t we just take him with us? He’ll lead us right back to their hiding spot.” His team quickly nod their heads in agreement, staring down at the blond-haired boy with mischievous eyes.

With his head dangled low, Jisung’s limbs are giving in but the grip on the pencil never once loosens. “Okay..” He slowly looks up and shoots them a look, chuckling darkly. “This is gonna be fun.” In a split second, the sharp end of the pencil goes straight into the goon’s stomach, making him stagger backward and groan aloud in agony. Although Jisung’s frame is quite small compared to what a standard fighter needs to be, he never fails to take advantage of that. If he’s smaller, he’s gonna be faster than them.

He sweeps a leg across the ground, one of the men falls onto his head, easily slipping into a good sleep until the zombies come in and take care of his unconscious body. Jisung catches the earpiece when it falls out of the goon’s hand. “Thanks, I’m gonna need my toy back.” Before he can slip the device on again, an arm sweeps under his feet and he lands right onto his bottom. “Using fire against fire. Smartass.” He mutters and clumsily props himself up from facepalming himself onto a pool of fresh blood that’s slowly seeping through the tiled floor.

The only conscious goon smirks down at him. “I don’t like coding. But I do like the color red.” When Jisung flutters his eyes upwards, he’s met with a shiny metal blade, inevitable to drive down, straight into his chest, right through his heart. He automatically squeezes his eyes shut as an attempt to brace himself for the contact.

“Hey asshole,” His eyes shoot open at the more than familiar voice.

two.

You’re so screwed. You’re all fucking screwed.

You’re not screwed because you completely forgot that you have four finals in a row next week. You’re not screwed because you broke your mom’s favorite mug or accidentally had a scratch on your dad’s car. Heck, you wish they could beat you with a wooden spoon right now. If only they’re still alive. You’d have your parents put you in timeout and fail four subjects all at once just so that everything can be normal again.

In movies, particularly ‘Zombieland’ or ‘The Walking Dead’, humans are being controlled by a virus that turns you into a walking corpse that feeds off humans’ flesh. But, we naturally do have plenty of brain disorders that can do just that. However, none of those things were contagious in the first place. Until Mad Cow Disease came along. Who would have thought? Cows are simply being part of the food chain then an entire square block, forty bedrooms, and nineteen bathrooms; everyone in your neighborhood went apeshit after the steak they had for dinner.

It’s a miracle how you even managed to run away without being bit by your own parents, who are now brainless serial killers. The idea of eating someone’s organs doesn’t seem too far-fetched anymore when you know that you’re only one brain chemical away from turning to a psychotic cannibal. That’s not even the irony of the whole situation. Irony, is how ready your current generation is for the end of the world, but not exams.

Hence, you’re gonna throw a birthday party for one of your best friends like nothing’s ever happened. Except for the fact that you’ll have to lure him out of the sanctuary while the others are working on the surprise.

Now you’re sitting in an abandoned bar, attempting to cheer your friend up with a shot of whiskey. You’ve never really liked the idea of being inside a bar before. Drowning yourself in alcohol and letting the night snatch your consciousness away as you sway your body along with bad EDM, going deaf with laughter and music banging against your eardrums? Not ideal. But now, it’s all empty. The neon lights are hanging by a single cable, wallpapers chipping off with discolorations soaking through the wall. The once infamous bar where students used to get wasted every weekend is now dead. Both literally and metaphorically. You’re not complaining anyway.

“Hey Jeongin,” you speak up lowly. “Have you ever hit a girl before?” You run your tongue over the cut right on your bottom lip, tasting the coppery blood in boredom.

Jeongin stares blankly at the glass of whiskey that you just offered him, studying the yellowish component closely. “No? Why would I?” He looks up and almost freezes to death with the look that you’re throwing his way. He can’t tell whether you’re mad or not because you’re that type of person who doesn’t necessarily need to go all furious or mad to scare the shit out of someone.

“No? Oh, don’t mind me,” you shake your head, low chuckles vibrating through your chest capacity. “I was just gonna ask you how it feels. You know, to kick someone in the gut or punch them in the face when you know they’re clearly not your size.” You sigh and prop your head onto your hand, eyes slightly heavy from the alcohol kick. It’s been a while since you’ve messed with these things. “Right, sorry. Not my point. My point is: stop being a big baby and get out there, talk it out with Jisung you little shit!”

The boy in front of you quickly looks away when you stare him dead in the eye. He swallows heavily, picking at the ripped part of his jeans. “I’m not gonna talk it out with him. That was stupid, irresponsible and reckless. He could have just let it be and not have his jaw broken. He was supposed to sneak in, get out, and act like nothing’s ever happened. Instead, he got caught at a bar, waved at them and even said ‘Hi, I’m Jisung’. He didn’t even get anything but got you in danger! Look at you! Minho would kill us if he saw you with a thousand arrow wounds like this!” He throws his hands upwards and cries out. “I swear to God, I’d never sign up to save his ass, ever, again. I swear—“

You clear your throat, wordlessly dropping a black duffel bag onto the counter with a loud thud. Jeongin’s mouth forms an ‘o’ as his hands automatically unzip the bag, revealing an awful amount of weapons: shotguns, rifles, knives, crowbars, etc. Heck, even some food. God, Jeongin can’t even remember the last time he’s had a proper meal. He subconsciously runs his hand along the matte-finished surface of a firearm, a retort lingering on the tip of his tongue. “Wow,” he utters. “He really— he got them.”

“He did.” You cock a brow, leaning forward and zip the bag up again. “And tell you what, even if you’re not gonna be there when Jisung makes a bad decision again, I will. Because you know damn well that there’s nothing in this world that he wouldn’t hesitate to do as long as your little junkie ass is safe.”

“HEY, WE CAN TALK THIS OUT, CHILL—“

“I said hands up! DROP THE GUN!”

“Chan, DON’T DO IT!”

You and Jeongin quickly collect yourselves, scrambling out of the bar. When the door swings wide open, you’re met with Jisung on his knees, hands behind his head, his Benelli M4 abandoned by a water bottle near the entrance. Meanwhile, there are two other guys who seem like they’re talking amongst themselves as they hold your best friend at gunpoint. Your fingers hover over the pistol in your back pocket, mentally debating if you should engage or not.

The more you’re lost into your own thoughts, the more you find yourself staring at the pink-haired boys standing beside the brunette one, who’s having a handgun, pointing right at Jisung. The freckled boy has you drawn into him like instant gravity because suddenly, it feels like the world stops spinning when he looks up and accidentally meets your eyes. That’s when you take a closer look at his features. Perfect dark eyebrows, bright beady eyes, and prominent Cupid’s bow. His freckles are what throw you off, making it possible to look away because they’re like embers of disintegrated supernovas, scattered across the universe for eternities.

“Everyone calm down!” You snap out of it and break eye contact. As much as you’d love to stare at the freckled cutie all day, you’re gonna cut him in his sleep if he dares to put a finger on Jisung. “Lay off my friend. Now.” You declare and receive attention from the brunette as he tells you off with his eyes.

The guy who you assume is called, Chan jerks his head towards Jisung. “Tell your friend that it’d be nice if he could give it back.”

“Give what back?” You turn to Jisung. “Han, we’ve talked about this. We don’t steal from anyone, besides street gangs.” You tell him firmly, motioning for him to hand over whatever the fuck of a thing that those two strangers need because him getting killed for something as childish as a slice of cheesecake is gonna drive you nuts.

Jisung opens up his left palm and shows you a silver wedding band, smiling awkwardly as you hold yourself back from decking him in the face. “Look, I was just looking around and I found this thing, and I got curious then they just came back and deadass threatened me with their guns!” He adds in. “I don’t know what’s the big deal with this ring anyway. Looks like someone bought it on eBay.”

“Say that again, I dare you.” Chan tightens his grip on the gun and clicks in a bullet. As soon as you hear the bullet being locked in to the chamber, your hand automatically flies to your back pocket and pulls out your pistol. You directly aim at his head, finger trembling over the trigger when you switch off the safety catch. “Give-it-back,” Chan says through gritted teeth.

“Jisung..” You warn him.

Jisung protests. “Like hell I would.”

“I never miss, just throwing that out there,” Chan says indifferently

“I SAID PUT THE GUN DOWN.”

“ENOUGH!” Jeongin snaps, catching all of you off guard. “We are surrounded by mindless cannibals over here! We all went through it, we all were there when our family turned into those monsters, we all had those times where we had no place to go, no food to eat, no friends to be there for us. Don’t we have enough problems? For fuck’s sake look at us! Is pointing guns and yelling at each other gonna bring the good days back? So would you guys just stop it? We’re a bunch idiots trying to kill each other when the end is fucking near! Can’t we just be friends and play some dumbass games like ‘20 Questions’ like decent human beings while we’re driving them back to the safehouse ?”

You stare at him in awe for a moment there, your muscles relaxing and giving up on the gun. Jeongin gives Chan a Look, chest heaving up and down in pure furiosity. Sometimes the idea of surviving does mess with your mind, forgetting that people are still people. They’re just like you. They’ve gone through some pretty bad shits too.

Chan retrieves his weapon, sighing. “Sorry, we really mean no harm. It’s just that we need it back.” He scratches his neck sheepishly as two dimples are fully on display. He’s not so scary when he smiles after all.

“I’m gonna have to confiscate that for the time being.” You snatch the piece of jewelry from Jisung’s hand. “We’ll talk about this when you guys are back at our base.”

“But—“

“Chan, let her. It’s fine.” The freckled boy interrupts him.

You look at him and subconsciously smile. “Oh? I’m sorry, does this belong to you? Aren’t you scared that I’m gonna throw this pretty little thing away later?”

He replies with mild interest. “I don’t think you’d wanna do that, you could have just kept it to yourself.”

“No, Charming. It’s not my style.” You voice as you stare down at the ring, studying every little detail carefully. The silver band is exquisite with a sterling double knot, adding a unique touch to the elegant simplicity of the ring. You think you’re already falling in love, but are you really gonna tell him that? Most definitely not. “Yep, not my style. And I’ll throw it away someday, that’s for threatening my friend.”

He makes a face and takes a few steps towards you. “I have a name.”

“Don’t care. ‘Charming’ suits you pretty well.”

“It’s Felix. You’re welcome.” He grins, offering you a hand. You decide to take it, kind of taken aback when knowing that his hand is a lot smaller compared to the average guys’. “And I wouldn’t worry about that, you won’t be going home with it anyway. ‘Cause I’ll always find you, always.” He squeezes your hand a little bit too tight for your liking, making you flinch.

Little did you know, behind his back, Felix’s counting down from one two three with his fingers, Chan watching him closely with his gun ready.

Three.

Two.

One.

Jisung quickly notices and reaches out to you. “Y/N!” And one single shotgun rings through the area.

three.

On the outskirts of the once stellar city, lies a warehouse in a not so stellar neighborhood. Dead leaves are falling onto the ground, scraping against the concrete surface, and sending chills down people’s spine. It’s like they’re not even trying to grow properly even when it’s not halfway through spring yet. The eerie atmosphere is just another reason for people to not wander around for too long, as if they’d have the gut to come there in the first place. But it’s still a zombie apocalypse, there are worse things that could happen either way.

You’d be surprised at what people can do when they’re dangling off the fingertips of Death.

People would never guess what’s hidden behind the crooked door. A living room fully equipped with an outdated couch and broken TV, a kitchen with everything but a fridge. Further into the safe house is a bedroom big enough for ten people to fit in, a storage room full of firearms and weapons. Last but not least, security cameras and monitors are set up all around the base, to be more secure. No zombies in this household. It took you and the guys forever to collect enough materials. The only thing that you’re constantly running low on is food.

And turns out Jisung calling your name wasn't the last thing you’d heard.

“Ugh, Minho, get me water,” You groan loudly before wagging your hand around like a madwoman. Once you feel the cool metal surface on the nightstand, you quickly check your own reflection. Needless to say, you’re horrified at what you saw. Absolutely terrifying, yes. Hair falling onto your face, tiny scratches scattered across your cheekbones as they leave an itchy sensation of your skin. Fortunately, the cut on your lips is already cleaned, and your bruises are starting to fade. But what sucks is the constant banging effect on your temple, an imminent pain that’s threatening to swallow you whole.

Yeah, this is why you never drink.

“Minho, water..” Your whimper grows smaller and smaller towards the end as your hand gives up on holding onto your phone. “Is this what whiskey does to the human body?” You smack your lips together as the bitter taste seeps through your taste buds more deeply, choking on the alcohol smell in your own throat.

Minho takes long strides into the bedroom with a bowl of piping hot soup. “Whiskey contains almost no sugar, can reduce blood clots, decreases your chances of getting a heart attack, even a stroke, fights cancerous cells and..” He pauses before wiggling his eyebrows. “Helps you perform better in bed.” He chuckles when you bury your face under your blanket, cheeks tinted pink. He will never not get you with his less than appropriate comments.

“You’re gross.”

Minho smirks. “Low blow.” He cranes his neck tiredly, lips curling upwards into a small smile. “You’re quite lucky. Whoever was trying to kill you missed.”

Your brows automatically knit together as you try to gather the small pieces of memories your brain can muster. Everything that happened yesterday seems too cloudy for you to comprehend, but you could never forget the moment Chan’s bullet missed you by a strand of hair, piercing straight into the plexiglass window right behind you to catch you off guard. Next thing you know, Felix kicked the back of your knees, having you land on buckling ankles.

You tell Minho sternly. “If he wanted me dead, I wouldn’t have come back in one piece.” You hold in a breath, in disbelief of your own words. “He spared my life, believe it or not.” Chan let you go, but why would he? You did piss him and his friend off intentionally because you never know what you’re getting yourself into.

Minho figures you might have hit your head somewhere, so he places your food on the nightstand and scoffs. “Eat up, you’re talking a shit ton for someone who almost died.”

“Where’s Han?” You gladly receive the bowl of soup with two hands, mouth watering slightly since you haven’t eaten since yesterday.

As if on cue, you can hear Jisung shrieking from downstairs. “NO NO NO! DON’T SHOOT ME WITH MY OWN GUN!”

You and Minho exchange a look before rushing outside, dashing towards the living room. “Oh, you gotta be shitting me.” The commotion inside has your jaw dropped to the floor. Again, Jisung is held at gunpoint for the fourth time of the week, you’re quite surprised that his head hasn’t been blown into bits yet. With the gun pressed against his temple, beside him is the freckled boy from yesterday. Felix, if you’re not mistaken. Chan’s here too, neither of them is looking too happy. If Hyunjin was here seeing two strangers try to threaten his best friend, he’d definitely go apeshit.

“Woah woah, what’s the problem here?” Your brother, Woojin comes out from the kitchen with wide eyes and two glasses of water in his hands. “Lix, put the gun down.” He tells the younger boy firmly, but Felix doesn’t even move an inch.

He cocks his head towards Jisung, a scowl adorning his soft features. “It wouldn’t have to be like this if your friend here didn’t steal my ring. Twice.”

“Jisung, seriously?” You facepalm yourself. You can still vividly remember how Felix snatched the piece of jewelry away from your palm when your face smacked the ground. And now Jisung decided to take it back? Without your consent? You’re not taking a bullet for him, not this time.

Jisung puts his hands up in defeat. “Okay okay, I have a confession.” He inhales. “I sold it.” Just when you thought things can’t possibly get any worse.

“What?!” You and Felix exclaim simultaneously.

Felix tongues the inside of his cheek in annoyance. “Come here, tell you what..”

The moment Jisung takes a step towards him, Felix takes his hand in a little bit too abruptly. He twists it at a weird angle, making Jisung wince. “That, is for selling the ring.” He presses your friend harshly against the coffee table, the handle of the gun secured on the nape of his neck, and you grimace at the sight. But also, you’re low-key enjoying this. “And that, is for being a little shit. You’re coming with me tomorrow, no negotiation.”

Felix soon lets go when your brother glares at him, smiling softly, warm brown eyes twinkling like a starry night. Jisung backs away almost immediately in caution when he offers to pull him upright and cowers behind Minho. You can tell that he’s terrified of the seemingly harmless freckled boy now. This is what he gets for never learning, he’s made a grave mistake to touch someone’s property in the middle of an apocalypse, where everyone’s more than ready to tear each other apart when they’re pissed about off about something as little as being hangry. “Huh, you’re not very into handshakes then. Don’t you want your gun back too?” He puts his hands into the pockets of his jeans, turning to meet Woojin’s eyes.

“Alright, we’ll have to talk about this later.” Your brother merely sneers at Jisung. “I’ll reintroduce you guys. Y/N, my sister.” He motions towards you before averting his attention to the other two. “That’s Minho, find him if you’re injured or need someone to knock some solid logic into your head.” Sighing, he runs a hand through his hair. “And the moron who, uh, robbed you is Jisung. He’s a really good guy, I swear. His hands are apparently faster than his brain.”

Chan speaks up dryly. “So he’s a doctor, and a part-time therapist.” Minho nods satisfactorily. “And he’s an idiot.” Jisung just smiles awkwardly because he’s not planning on getting his ass kicked again. At least not for the time being.

You interject, still drowning in confusion. “Wait, you know him?”

“Yeah, he’s the son of our parents’ former business partners. You guys used to hang out as toddlers.” Woojin says.

You widen your eyes. “What?” You can’t believe it. Felix is ridiculously attractive (you’d hate to admit that in front of him) so hanging out with a boy this cute, even not for long would still definitely leave you with some kind of impression. There’s no way this charming guy had witnessed those times where you’re still taking medicine by swallowing them down with chocolate pudding. You’d rather bury yourself alive at this point.

“The Lees made that?” You gasp.

Woojin nods reluctantly. “They sure did.”

Felix takes a few steps forward and looks down at you, decreasing the distance between your faces. His minty breath fans your face and leaves you flustered within seconds. “Long time no see, Princess. Told you I will always find you.” He throws you a wolfish wink, proceeding to walk past you to go upstairs with Chan following him after.

“Hey! I still want my gun back!” Jisung yells after him.

The pet name that rolled off his tongue effortlessly sends your heartbeat over the edge. It’s beating vigorously inside your rib cage, louder than when your parents were about to eat you alive, louder than when you were kicked to the curb by some random mobs, so loud that you’re afraid everyone’s gonna hear it. It’s only your second encounter and he’s already messing with your heart just by simply existing as he is.

Jesus fucking Christ. Now, you’re really screwed.

Because falling for someone during an apocalypse is just another fucked up version of every rom-com to ever exist. Or maybe a knocked-off version of Warm Bodies, except Felix isn’t a zombie.

Yet.

four.

You wake up today feeling quite at peace for once in a while since the zombies outbreak only to find out that Jisung is heading outside to search for medicine with Minho. Meaning, drum rolls, you’re having the honor to go with Prince Charming aka Lee Felix and retrieve his stupid ring. You’re far too mad at Woojin to even finish the can of tuna that he kindly offered. Instead, you decide to bolt outside as soon as possible before you accidentally murder your brother.

“Get in Princess, we don’t have all day!” Felix calls out loudly as he repeatedly honks his car. Admittedly, you’re quite impressed that he managed to find a whole ass Jeep in the middle of this ghost town.

You enter the car, almost gasping at how good of a condition that this car is still in. Whoever owned this vehicle previously, God bless them because they definitely did a great job at keeping it nice and clean. There are no questionable items lying on the floor or inside one of the cabinets, the AC is still working, the radio isn’t showing those creepy statics sounds that never fail to chill you to the bones.

Felix perks a brow in amusement. “It’s mine, by the way, I did a great job at keeping it clean huh?” When you give him nothing but a scowl, he chuckles lightheartedly and starts the engine. “Buckle up, I don’t want you to suddenly fly out of the window or anything.”

“Oh, you’re pretty shit at driving then.” You comment flatly, making an effort to avoid his eyes. They keep drawing you in even at the slightest chance. You’re not falling into that downward spiral again, nope, never. But you can’t help but notice how he still looks good in a bomber jacket with a simple tee underneath, tucked neatly inside his ripped jeans.

Upon your cold response, Felix’s smile remains still on his lips. “Said someone who can’t even drive.” He snickers somewhat sarcastically. Wow, do you miss bickering with Minho about his three spoiled cats.

“Sure, hand over the keys unless you want us both to play tennis with Hitler in the afterlife.” You protest with as much sarcasm. God, it’s been two minutes into the ride and the amount of willpower you’re mustering right now to not grab him by the collar and yank his ass out of this car is actually terrifying. But doing that can potentially threaten your own life so indeed, you’re starting to wonder if that’s gonna be the wisest decision. “What’s the big deal with that ring anyway? Can’t you just break into some jewelry store and find another one that you like?”

Felix looks into the distance, his smile faltering. “My mom wanted me to give it to the girl that I’m willing to spend the rest of my life with. Even when things are fucked up, like right about… now..” He tells you sternly with a hint of sadness in his tone, his warm brown eyes are now cloudy. It’s hard to break through the wall that he’s trying to build, but you don’t think you both are close enough to talk about these things anyway.

If anything, you should try to lighten up the mood. “Good luck with that. Because the only thing you’re gonna be willing to live with now is a gun and those packets of Tim Tam Slam.”

He turns sideways to make eye contact with you for a split second before averting his gaze back on the road. So you actually pay attention to the little details. “Call it.” Felix smiles again, and somehow, you feel like a weight is being lifted off your chest. “And mind you, I have a fiancé. Well, more like ‘had’ but whatever, doesn’t matter, same thing.”

You nearly choke on your own saliva, eyes as wide as a goldfish’s. “You have a what?!”

“Relax, haven’t you heard of an arranged marriage before?” He looks at you as if you’re some kind of alien species from outer space. “I was gonna give the ring to her but bummer, your friend just had to sell it.”

Arms crossed over your chest, you hold back a chuckle with a hand secured on your mouth. “Wow..” You manage to choke out between giggles. “You must be getting something impressive to be able to agree to marry a goody-two-shoes who owns more money than what she knows to do with.”

“Pardon?” Felix snorts involuntarily. “What does that suppose to mean? Are you insulting my marriage?”

‘Insulting’ is an understatement for an entire lecture that you’ve already planned out in your head that you’re about to give him a piece of but you don’t think he’s ready for that just yet. Instead, you counter softly. “Not quite, but for the most parts, yeah, I guess I am.” He tightens his grip on the steering wheel and proceeds to throw daggers towards your direction with his eyes every three seconds. “But let me ask you this. If you wanna give that ring to your fiancé so badly, then do you really love her? Or is everything just a contract so that you won’t put your parents’ company at risk?”

A comfortable silence falls upon the both of you as Felix starts replaying your words over and over again in his mind. He’s never the type to go out and about, looking for love like it’s the only purpose of his life. He’s never dated anyone before. He used to believe that love always comes at the most unexpected moment for the longest time and he should be waiting, not searching. He didn’t think much about the arranged marriage either. She was a nice girl, but they’ve only talked twice, and nothing really clicked like how he imagined love would feel like. Felix knew, he knew deep down that it wouldn’t work out after all but he was just too much of a coward to admit it. But your words hit differently, imprinting him with a little something called ‘reality’.

Everything’s kinda screwed right now, no one knows how much longer humanity can keep up with this whole survival situation. Living on the streets, and can never get a good night's sleep. Although it does sting a bit knowing that he might die alone on this planet, it definitely gives him another point of view to look at the relationship between him and his fiancé. He doesn’t even want to imagine living in the same house with her at this point.

“Your mom wanted you to give it to someone special right?” You tell him softly, a hand brushing over his as an attempt to soothe the ache in his chest. “Then you gotta find them. It’s not over yet. But that doesn’t mean there’s much time left. You don’t have to keep running towards something that isn’t worth it in the first place anymore.” You pause for a moment, lips curling upwards. “Because if we cease to believe in love, why would we want to live?”

Felix bursts into laughter and brushes your hand off of him. “Ew! You stole that from a movie and it’s not even good. Jesus Y/N, get some counseling.”

“Don’t shit on my pop culture references like that you uncultured swine.”

“Just don’t do that again.”

You roll your eyes at him. “One more word and I’ll burn you down with this Jeep.” And he just smirks at you because he knows for sure that you won’t have the heart to destroy such a good car when the world is literally falling apart. Because chances are, you hate your dad’s old grey Innovator that only pumps lukewarm air inside the vehicle. In which, isn’t the most ideal thing for an apocalypse. But Woojin loves that thing far too much to throw it away so you’ve never had the heart to tell him to.

Felix calmly parks on a random sidewalk before taking the key and exits the car. “We’re here.” You follow him not long after, eyes squinted due to the brightness of the daylight. Even though you’re barely seeing anything, you can’t seem to recognize this neighborhood. And it doesn’t look very sketchy either, pretty mediocre to say the least. You can’t seem to remember if Woojin has taken you here or not. And you’re starting to wonder how many zombies are hiding behind those buildings, seeing your scent as a solution for their never-ending thirst. Who the hell did Jisung sell that ring to?

Felix narrows his eyes and spots something in the distance. “Y/N, are you seeing this?” You quickly stand beside him, and slowly, a slouched figure comes into view. “I’ll take care of that.” He places a hand on your shoulder when the figure picks up its pace, the muscles on your back tense up at his touch. “Trust me, I’m not gonna accidentally blow your head into bits.”

“Down!”

You quickly duck and slide yourself across the concrete surface in time before Felix can swing the baseball bat straight into your face. The bat comes in contact with the zombie harshly enough to knock it backward, onto her bottom. You and Felix look at each other for a solid three seconds before approaching the zombie again, examining her more closely. Her once blond hair is now doused in nothing but blood, sticking to her face and neck. Both of her lips are completely distorted as if another zombie gave her the kiss of Death (quite literally) as a welcome ritual. Suddenly, she jolts up from her lying position, hands wagging in midair to grab onto something.

You jump backward on instinct as Felix brings the baseball bat down again, and again, and again until you can’t even make out the horrendous features of the zombie anymore. He scrunches his nose at the smell of the poisoned blood and tosses the metal bat away. “Never hurts to double-tap, better not get blood on my white Jeep.”

You blurt subconsciously. “Impressive, Charming.” Okay but in your defense, Felix just smacked the hell out of the zombie with a baseball bat, he basically saved your life. Although you’re fully capable of protecting yourself, that was pretty hot.

He’s too busy fixing the sleeves of his shirt but his eyes immediately light up at your words. “Say that again?”

“In your freaking dreams, Lee.”

Felix pulls you in and ruffles your hair, rocking you side to side happily. “Don’t be so uptight! Complimenting me once in a while wouldn’t kill anyone now, would it?” When he’s too immersed in annoying the shit out of you, something falls out of his pocket with a small ‘clang’.

“Wait, you dropped something—“ You manage to wiggle out of his embrace and bend down to pick it up, and your mind just stops. “Felix…isn’t that your ring?”

five.

“Jesus Christ!” Woojin almost yells when he sees a black-eyed Felix exiting the kitchen with an ice pack on his right hand, lips swollen with several cuts across his face. “What happened to you?”

You walk into the living room not long after, tiny scratches are scattered all over your pale knuckles, blood trickling down on your cheeks like you’ve been crying red. “Okay,” Woojin shakes his head, pushing himself up from the beige-colored couch. “What the fuck happened to the both of you?”

“I punched him in the face.” “She punched me in the face.” The both of you confess in sync, exchanging questionable looks before turning away from each other.

“And why is there blood on your face again?” Woojin swears, if Felix dares to touch you, he will put his head on a chopping block, not to mention hurting you.

You shrug back, grabbing a water bottle from the coffee table and chug on it generously. “It’s not mine.” Without turning your head, you hand the bottle over to Felix. The boy gladly receives it, downing the whole thing left in one go. “Anyway, some mobsters appeared out of nowhere and they wanted his stupid ring. I got my ass kicked for a goddamn piece of jewelry, twice.” You merely glare at Felix who’s applying pressure to the cool pack of ice against his bruised eye, wincing every once in a while. He does feel kinda guilty, believe it or not. Maybe lying wasn’t the best option to get you to hang out with him more. There’s no way you two could have died back there, but he would be more than ready to throw the ring away for the sake of your safety.

But either way, Jisung’s gonna be dead meat to you after this.

“You do realize that we just kissed indirectly right?” Felix laughs when you chuck the now empty water bottle at him, hissing in anger. He’s acting like such a Lee, irritating, and carefree most of the time. In which, makes you wanna kill him with your bare hands even more in these kinds of situations. “Come here, a princess shouldn’t have blood on her pretty face.” He manages to turn you around and face him as he pulls out a handkerchief from his pocket. When he leans down slightly to wipe the crimson stickiness away, your once tense muscles now relax, loosening themselves.

Within this proximity, you’re able to take a closer look at his starry eyes with long lashes framing them perfectly, his cute button nose, his peachy lips and how his freckles are more beautiful than anything you’ve seen before. One of his hands holds your neck in place while the other is secured on your waist so it’s easier for him to get a better angle. Felix furrows his brows every now and then, being careful and gentle at the same time to get rid of the blood off your face completely. He did pull you into doing the dirty business after all. Might as well make up for it.

You didn’t push him away because this feels...safe, and right. He makes you feel at ease after the longest time, it’s like nothing you’ve experienced before. Not even your brother can possess this sense of comfort in his presence. It almost makes you smile which is seemingly paradoxical because forty minutes ago, you were figuring out ways to hide a corpse since you couldn’t stand his nosy ass for much longer.

“Ew, I’m getting out of here. I can’t bear seeing this.” Woojin makes a gagging noise before stumbling out of the living room with his cup of espresso, leaving you and Felix alone in the living room. A muffled silence occurs for the next thirty seconds.

“There,” He clears his throat before pulling away. “Done.”

You look away. “Thanks, you didn’t have to do that though.”

“Anything for my princess.”

You ignore his cheeky smile before rummaging through the wooden drawers. “Sit down.” You demand once you pull out a mini first aid kit, Minho always keeps those randomly around the house just in case. One can never be too careful after all. Felix does as you say, taking a seat on the couch. He watches you taking out a cotton swab with a bottle of sanitizing solution. “Lean in.” You command while dipping the cotton swab into the solution, his hand brushing over your thigh accidentally.

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” You shake your head as an attempt to hide the coral tint on your cheeks. “This is gonna hurt though…” You warn him, cotton swab hovering over one of the cuts on his cheeks. Felix nods obediently, clenching his fists and squeezes his eyes shut to brace himself for the burn. He can’t gush over how cute you look anymore since he’s secretly terrified of cleaning wounds. But who isn’t?

You smirk internally. “Okay, I’m gonna count down from three to one.”

“Three..” A single drop of cold sweat rolls down on his temple.

“Two..” He holds his breath. But before he can react properly, you’re already pressing the cotton swab onto his wound, your other hand pinning his down firmly. “Felix quit moving already! How old are you for fuck’s sake?!” You laugh wholeheartedly, struggling to hold him in place while cleaning his opened cuts with the solution.

Felix shrieks like a little child. “Ah! Ow! Y/N! Ah! Y/N! Y/N, I SWEAR TO GOD!” He succeeds in pulling away after a good three minutes, the burn from the alcohol feels like there’s fire coursing through his veins, burning a hole right through his skin. He’s not doing that ever again. “That hurt like a motherfucker.” Whimpering, his brows are knitted together in agony when you put a bandage over the wound. “You didn’t even finish counting, I hate you.”

“There there you big baby.” Smiling at him, your hand gently caresses his calloused ones. It doesn’t take him long to realize how soft your hands are, and how cold they are compared to him too. So he decides to link your fingers together, hoping to give you some of his warmth. You completely freeze at his action and choose to look anywhere but his eyes, from the broken TV to the random magazines on the coffee table and his shiny pistol next to them.

Felix brushes his thumb over the back of your hand and chuckles. “See, you do know how to smile. It’s not that hard to smile in front of me after all, is it?” He brings your knuckles to his lips and peppers small kisses over them lovingly. It makes his heart crack a little upon seeing them all scratched up, because of him. Little actions like this always make you feel fuzzy on the inside, especially when it comes from someone like Felix? You’re done for.

“I didn’t see this. I’ve never seen this. I’m not seeing this. I will never see this again.” He pulls away shyly when Jisung starts teasing you both as he passes by the living room from upstairs. Oh right, weren’t you planning on decking his face for setting you on a ‘date’ with a guy you hardly know only after three solid days when he kicked your ass?

“HAN JISUNG GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!”

six.

Falling for Lee Felix is scarier than getting infected with the Mad Cow Disease (or Mad Zombie Disease). It’s official. But knowing the basic bitch that you are, being loopy in love with him is quite inevitable. There’s no use fighting against fate anyway, still, you’re going to postpone it for as long as you can because you definitely don’t wanna get too attached during an apocalypse.

Sadly, having Felix share a room with Chan right beside yours doesn’t exactly help you avoid him. He always roams the house half-naked at night like he’s trying to put his chiseled abs up for auction after every shower. One time he almost gave you a cardiac arrest when you found him rummaging through the fridge at two in the morning without a shirt on. There were some nights where you didn’t even get a wink of sleep because Chan and he were too busy jamming to music even though they know that the walls in this house are clearly paper-thin. However, you chose to let them slide for the sake of Jisung’s and Minho’s so-called ‘beauty sleep’ aka their spontaneous cuddle sessions throughout the day. That’s only an excuse to avoid him even more.

Felix obviously knows what’s up, so he’s been acting extra annoying these days to get your attention. He keeps popping his head inside your room (which was initially a storage room but you insisted on having it since you didn’t want to share your questionable sleeping habits with any of the guys) and asks for random stuff that never seems to make sense. Like who needs a fucking stapler when the whole world is falling into a crisis? You still kept yourself together and didn’t throw hands at him because you’re not planning on giving him what he wanted.

But what Felix wants? Felix gets.

“Good morning Princess..” He half-whispers and half-singsongs after shutting the door of your room with his foot. “Thank fucking God.” He mentally bows to whatever gods up there that’s pushing their blood family feud aside to bless him for the day. You’re still fast asleep, snoring softly with your grey blanket wrapped around your body.

He’s impressed by how you still manage to not wake up early every other day because there’s no curtain unlike his room so the sunlight can easily peer right through, casting a delicate light on your figure. Surprisingly, you don’t sleep like Chan, with his leg dangling off the edge of the bed and his blanket’s on the floor by the time the sun rises again. You sleep with four limbs curled inwards, hands grabbing two full fists of the grey fabric like a puppy.

He also notices how you’re still keeping pictures of your childhood memories on one of the empty bookshelves. There’s one with you and Woojin standing in the middle of Time Square when you both came to the States. And there’s another one where you’re dressed up as Harley Quinn with Hyunjin as the Joker on your right, Jisung as Rick Flag to your left and your brother as Deadshot squatting on the ground for your senior year’s Halloween party. Although you’re more of a Marvel gal yourself.

“Y/N...” Felix whispers softly as he sits down on your bed, careful not to wake you up. His original plan to have you chase him up and down the house is already going down the drain since he really doesn’t want to ruin a good night's sleep. Chan has done that to him one too many times and he sure knows the consequences. Heck, Chan might not even see him after this.

Felix outstretches his hand carefully, caressing your cheekbone like you’re made of glass. He can’t help but act like a creep because you’re too cute for your own good when you’re sleeping. It’s kinda nice actually, to not have you yelling at him for not putting clothes on right after his shower or wrestling him to the floor whenever he headlocks you at the most random times.

Suddenly, your eyes shoot open. The moment you see another human being’s presence in your own personal bubble, you automatically grab him by the neck before pinning him down onto the bed, locking his arms behind his back. “Ow! Ow! Dude, chill!” Felix cries out from underneath you, struggling to breathe properly when you’re practically crushing his lungs. Okay, he definitely did not see that coming.

“My goodness, what are you doing here?!” You gasp in realization, pushing yourself off the bed.

“Woojin- said-“ he chokes out between uneven breaths. “I could- come in- and wake you up.”

You cross your arms and sigh. “Yeah, come in.” You say with expressive hands. “Not touching me without my consent.”

He winces at the red marks across his wrists. “Since when can you fight someone like that?” Yeah, those aren’t going away anytime soon.

“What part of ‘Zombie Apocalypse Self-Learn Defense Basics 101’ don’t you understand?” You yawn tiredly before running a hand through your bed head. “Anyway, what do you want?”

Felix beams innocently, taking in the sight of your pajamas. “Your attention.” And you internally thank your brother for not doing laundry yesterday (water’s also running low), which means you had to borrow Minho’s PJs instead of wearing your Mickey Mouse sweatpants with the tank top from your old basketball team.

You really don’t have time for this, you think. Coldly, “Why?” you fake a lifeless smile.

“You’ve never spoken to me since the day when those mobsters beat the shit out of us.” He pouts like a sad kitten. “Look, I know that it’s my fault okay? I’m sorry. But I really just wanted to hang out with you. If you didn’t play hard to get, you would have saved us a trip to some sketchy neighborhood.”

You stop him right there. “First of all, I did talk to you. Just a maximum of five words per day. And secondly, they didn’t beat the shit out of us, we made them run back to wherever they came from, crying for their mommy while soiling their pants.”

“There!” He exclaims. “You said it yourself. Five words per day. Why? Am I that much of an asshole to hold a civil conversation with? Don’t tell me that you’re still holding grudges from the day we first met.”

“So what if I hold grudges? Do you think holding my best friend at gunpoint is gonna make me wanna befriend you?”

“Okay, bad example—“

“Look, can we talk this out later? I need to go outside and look for some food. We’re running out of those premade, frozen chicken nuggets that my brother’s obsessed with. As always.” You push him aside and place your hand on the doorknob. But Felix catches your hand in time before you can twist it, yanking it back so that you’re facing him, dead in the eye. He’s not letting go of his chance again. “Let-me-go.” You deadpan but receive a frown from him as a reply.

“No,” Felix looks like you just spit on him, his mocha eyes are now unreadable, almost hurt at why you’re acting so cold towards him. Some guys find it hot when girls have this kind of facade on, but this? This shit hurts him, tremendously. You might see him as a spoiled brat at day and party animal at night who just happens to be friends with your brother for all he knows. “I don’t trust your definition of ‘later’. Who knows? You might never let me into your life again after this conversation. I don’t like people shutting me out like this. Tell me, Y/N, do you really hate me that much? If so, I solemnly swear I will never talk to you again.”

Your prepared beforehand witty retort grows dead on the tip of your tongue. His eyes...they’re not lying. It makes your heart crack a bit upon seeing how sad they look right now. Perhaps you were being too harsh on him? Maybe you shouldn’t have judged him from the get-go? “You care about me, don’t you?” Felix reaches his hand upwards to tug a strand of hair behind your ear. He gently grabs your hand and places them on his cheekbone, where a scar is fading by time. “Remember this? You treated me. You do care, Y/N. You’re not stupid enough to think that I didn’t know right?”

You retrieve your hand and scoff. “Why would I care? Did I look like I cared? The only reasons I treated your wounds were because I could witness your pathetic state and I punched you in the face previously. Totally didn’t regret that but still, I wanted to make it up to you.” You say, desperately trying to wiggle your way out of this conversation because you’re not enjoying where this is going.

He inches closer and closer until he’s a breath away from your lips. “Because when you were treating my wounds, you had that dumb look on your face whenever you’re focused.” And you finally exhale when he pulls away, backing out of your room with a smirk. “I’ll wait in the car, your Highness.”

seven.

Going grocery shopping with Felix is rather stressful. Not because there are zombies spontaneously popping out of nowhere every five minutes, but because you quickly, quickly realize that this boy knows nothing about food other than stuffing his face until he can’t even pick himself up anymore. He can’t tell the difference between actually good meat and meat that’s been spoiled for several weeks. You literally can’t even fathom why because the foul smell would definitely give it away but unfortunately, he doesn’t even spare a second to suspect the sketchy hues of green and blue on the red surface.

But hey, at least he can kick some zombies’ asses when you’re too busy deciding between salmon and tuna. You’d always end up getting both anyway because why not? Guess this is what you get for not having to pay for anything. Being stuck with an uneducated fool who’s never once experienced working in the kitchen. The area around here is somewhat isolated so the stores are still pretty stocked up with all of the essentials. Thank God they haven’t run out of Woojin’s favorite chicken nuggets.

“Do you even know what this is?” You throw your hands up midair in disbelief, referring to the pile of grapefruits that are now half-way empty for no particular reason.

Felix makes a thinking face, lips pursing. “I think it’s a flamingo.”

“Lee Yongbok, you gotta be shitting me—“

He stops midway towards the frozen aisle. “Woah woah slow down bro, where did you get that name from?” His Korean name is as confidential as Chan’s secret drawers full of his guilty pleasure food. Not many people call him that because he secretly hates it and whoever takes that advantage to make fun of him deserves the cruelest of punishment. Felix frowns furiously at you before grabbing several packs of the chicken nuggets, fries, and some dumplings to throw them into the cart along with his Tim Tam Slam and your KitKat. “Chan told you right? He’s been on my ass all week since we moved in with you guys.”

You help him with stocking up canned food. “Why though? He seems like such a nice guy.” Okay except for the fact that he almost blew Jisung’s brain out. But you’re not gonna dwell on the past. “No worries though, everyone has probably known your Korean name by now.”

“This is not what I signed up for.”

You aggressively grab him by the neck to ruffle his hair, laughing at his misery. “Look at us, we’re already becoming so civil, I bet my brother is loving this.”

Felix tugs himself free from your grip to fix his hair and huffs. “Could be fate, you know?” He wiggles his brows, making you gag as you both make your way out of the store.

“Right,” you roll your eyes. “And they say I’m the crazy one.”

“No! I’m serious!” He exclaims with two hands up in defense. “One thing leads to another. Are you seeing how far we’ve come?” He pauses for a bit when the two of you reach the car so that he can throw everything to the backseats. “Jisung impulsively stole my ring, which made us run into each other. I met you again because I just happen to be friends with your brother. And since you tried to avoid me so hard, I had an excuse to piss you off so that I’m making up to you right now. How is that not fate?” He ends his speech before entering the car, inserting his key to start the engine.

You jump into the passenger’s seat, scoffing. “Thanks for the pep talk, pretty sure fate’s doing all the work. Now, where are we going?”

“I’m hungry, and I’m craving something.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “And I’m supposed to care because..?”

“Shut up and turn on some music.” He tosses you his phone.

Felix’s playlist consists of a handful of Coldplay’s songs with some other upbeat, trendy ones. He knows enough lyrics to sing along to throughout the drive. You look out the window and loosen yourself up a bit. His voice is surprisingly soothing, a stark contrast to his usual deep talking voice which is kinda nice to listen to. Both of you never start talking because you’re already dozing off to Dreamland because he had the audacity to drag your ass out of bed at eight in the morning. Your head constantly knocks onto the cool glass window every two minutes or so, but it doesn’t seem to be bothering your slumber.

It’s almost noon, and the sun’s probably the only thing that’s keeping Felix awake. He’s hungry, thirsty, sleepy and kind of stiff from occupying the driver’s seat for way too long. He didn’t get any sleep last night, busy thinking of ways to get your attention again. Luckily, he didn’t walk out of your room with a black eye this time. Felix mentally exhales when he pulls up, and his eyes are met with the giant purple and pink neon sign: “Fancy” aka Chan’s favorite place. He shuts the engine off before leaning over to wake you up.

“Meow,” he flinches at the sound and immediately turns to you. You would never possibly make that, would you? “Meow,” there it is again. His eyes shift again to the backseats, squinting hard only to make out a yellow ball of fluff shuffling through the bags of groceries. “Oh my God Soonie, what the hell are you doing here?” He sighs in relief when the cat finally looks up at him, green eyes piercing through the dark.

You stir in your slumber and eventually wake up upon hearing the commotion. “What happened?” A loud yawn escapes your lips when you rub your eyes tiredly. You turn around only to see Minho’s oldest cat pawing at the paper bags. “Are you seeing Soonie in the backseats right now or am I just delusional?”

“Well, that makes two of us. She probably sneaked out again, Minho’s gonna throw hands soon.” Felix scoops Soonie into his arms easily and opens the door. Then, he turns around to look at you. “Come on, I bet you’re hungry, my treat.”

eight.

“Food,” Felix tells you when he shuts the door behind his back. He takes in the cool air of the diner and exhales deeply. God bless humanity for air conditioners.

You nod back without looking at him. “Yeah, food.” And you let him drag you across the diner by the wrist.

The diner is definitely not the place that needs to be booked months in advance. It’s not the kind with large mullioned windows, long embroidered curtains, velvet tables or delicate classical music in the background. It leans more towards the retro style with checkered floor, colorful and fun pieces of furniture, somewhere that makes you feel cozy too. You like it here.

Felix outstretches his limbs and yawns, petting Soonie gently. The cat isn’t as impulsive as she is whenever Doongie or Dori is trying to steal her toy. Thank goodness. “Nayeon!” He smiles and waves at the brunette girl behind the counter.

She quickly catches your eyes with her bunny-like smile, radiant skin, and pretty eyes. When she smiles, her cheeks are bunched up, eyes wrinkling into little crescent moons. The type of smile that will make anyone a little breathless. Then, you hear Felix mumbling that something smells really fucking good when he leans over the counter. You look around the diner once again, although it’s empty, there are still people working as if they don’t mind the given circumstances. These people are all high, they are all insane. They have to be.

Nayeon pulls out a pen along with her notepad, eyeing you with curiosity. “Hey kid, where’s Chan?” And you quickly break eye contact with her, pretending to have some kind of interest in the photo of her with other eight girls right beside the menu. They were on a tropical island, smiling and laughing with the ocean waves splashing against them. All of them are incredibly gorgeous, making you feel small in comparison.

“He’s elsewhere with Woojin today. I’ll take the usual,” Felix slides the smaller version of the menu across the counter, perking a brow for you to take a look at it. “Choose whatever you like.”

You shrug. “Anything will do.”

“Then two of what I already said then.” He nods towards the waitress, earning another warm smile.

Nayeon taps her pen against her cheek, whispering. “Who’s that? Did you find someone?” She looks down at how his hand is holding onto yours and grins mischievously. Felix automatically drops your hand at her words, blushing furiously while looking down in slight embarrassment. “Ah, no need to explain, I’ve got you.” She places a hand on his shoulder and laughs before punching in your order.

“It’s not—“

Nayeon puts her index finger over his mouth. “I’ve got you.” She’s never seen Felix hanging out with any girl other than his sisters before so she’s 90% sure that you’re not just any girl to be able to go to this specific diner with him. By the look of it, there’s gotta be something between you two. How you’re constantly staring into midair and anywhere else to avoid her eagle eyes, how Felix’s cheeks are redder than a tomato. Everything just speaks for itself. “Your orders will be right out.” She beams and walks back into the kitchen. You almost bury yourself alive hearing multiple females squealing and giggling in the distance.

“Sorry about that,” he pushes himself away from the counter before smiling sheepishly. “They just get excited because—“

“Because you’re a coward who’s never been in a relationship before.” You finish his sentence with a smirk, snatching Soonie from his pocket and walk over to one of the round tables.

Felix settles down on the opposite side of the table with a sigh. He shoots you a dirty look before pouting. “God, you’re so mean. Stop exposing my miserable, non-existent love life.”

[1:35p.m.]

meanhoe | uhm hello Kardashians, I’m looking for my eldest daughter Soonie?

woobear | not the living room!

[1:36p.m.]

trashbin | not my room!

drama lama | not the backyard!

old man | not the kitchen either!

[1:37p.m.]

quokka | not the bar too!

meanhoe | tf are you doing at a bar?

quokka | retrieving my sanity…

[1:38p.m.]

meanhoe | you know that my whiskey is wayyy better right?

quokka | DID I STUTTER?

meanhoe | swiped left.

[1:39p.m.]

y/n | she was inside Felix’s Jeep for some reason, we’re at a diner rn, some place called ‘Fancy’?

old man | LEE FELIX YOU TRAITOR!!

old man | YOU BETTER BRING ME SOME WHEN YOU GET HOME.

[1:40p.m.]

meanhoe | bring her home safely, and I’ll make dinner.

meanhoe | if not, I will grab you both by the throat and tear you apart, piece by piece.

meanhoe | there will be no negotiation, no compromise, and no mercy.

You just grin at your phone before putting the device away and shudder slightly. That’s enough Internet for today, boys being boys. This is why you’re low-key terrified of cat lovers. “Well aren’t you busy,” Felix scoffs when he sees that you’re not having any interest in one of the proper conversations with him that rarely happens. “Too busy texting with some cute boy to talk to me instead?” He cocks his head sideways, mustering his best puppy eyes or in this case, kitten eyes because he looks just like ‘Puss in Boots’.

You pinch his nose cutely, making him back off in pain. “If you’re saying Minho aka the freaky dad cat is cute then yes, I am extremely occupied with him threatening my life for having his beloved daughter in my arms.” Then, you allow him to glare at you for as long as he likes while you’re too focused on admiring the view from the window. The sky is oddly blue today, not too cloudy, not too sunny, the air is not that stuffy either. Maybe on a good day, even a zombie apocalypse seems pretty normal. You can understand why these girls still want to run the diner during times like this, simply because they love their job. And they want to help those in need because it’s the least they can do, to give people a heartwarming meal.

“Sorry,” Nayeon walks towards your table with a bowl of warm milk. “The food will be out in a minute, I just don’t want the little thing to starve and be all miserable while you guys are stuffing your faces.” She pets Soonie with the warmest smile and the kitten purrs into her touch, closing her eyes in satisfaction.

Felix pulls her out of your arms and gently places her next to him on the cushioned surface. “Thanks, you didn’t have to do that though. Minho spoils her on a daily basis.”

Curiously, “When did this happen?” You frown before running your index finger over a small hole that just happens to be the size of a bullet, cautious enough to not accidentally cut your finger.

“Oh, that,” The brunette waitress' expression mirrors yours, slightly confused and intrigued. “Huh, I wonder…”

And all of the colors drain on your face. “Duck,” you say breathlessly, breaths coming in short.

“What?” Felix can barely hear his own voice.

Nayeon suddenly looks alarmed. “Everyone get down!” She shouts at the top of her lungs, arms flailing like a madwoman. “GET DOWN! NOW!”

Just then, a bullet pierces right through the window, glass shattering into pieces as you see Nayeon clutching onto her own stomach, blood oozing from her fresh wound. You’re ready to yelp aloud when Felix pulls you down onto the ground with him, letting his body cover up your head and shards of glass cut his cheeks. The diner grows uncomfortably silent when no sound is made, but you still keep your eyes shut and your face buried in his chest.

“Hey hey look at me,” Felix tells you, angling your jaw so that you can make eye contact with him although your eyes are quivering in fear. It’s not the first time you’ve heard a gunshot before but he’s never seen you so shaken up about it before. It hurts seeing you like this. “We’re gonna be okay—“

Before you can reply without tripping over your own words, something falls onto the tiled floor, rolling across the surface to reach the other side of the diner. You squint your eyes hard to make out the shape of the object. It was almost the size of an avocado, round-ish, and dark. No one seems to notice it at all until there’s an ear-piercing sound that keeps beeping, echoing throughout the entire diner.

“Shit—“ You breathe out and hold onto Felix tightly, bracing yourself for the blow.

That’s when the entire place explodes, destroying every single thing until there’s nothing left but the grey ashes that are following the wind to reach the burning sky above.

Utterly demolished, you’d say.

nine.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Woojin says softly when he sits down next to you on your bed. He gives your hand a squeeze in reassurance, heartbroken at your state. You look as pale as a ghost, the bags under your eyes more evident than ever, and your lips chapped, starting to turn purple. You haven’t touched the food that Minho offered for the past few days, still refusing to talk to any of the guys. But he was relieved that you were saved from the pile of ruins by one of the workers there - Jihyo, he believes that’s her name. He wouldn’t know what to do if anything happened to you.

“No,” you shake your head profusely. “Not now.”

“So the thought of losing him does scare the shit out of you?”

You nod. “Yeah.”

“Then you’ve found your happy ending,” your brother ruffles your hair and stands up. “Yes, right in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.” He smiles at you one last time, “Anyway, you better find him then. Godspeed.” before closing the door with a small ‘click’.

Meanwhile, you’re staring at the wooden floor blankly, starting to wonder how filthy rich the previous family living here was. By the look of it, they seemed to be pretty well off but were probably scared shitless when the disease spread like wildfire. With that, they took off running, leaving everything behind to preserve their precious lives. But who knows? They could be some random zombies out there, roaming the streets mindlessly by now.

You space out a lot these days, thinking about random things, but mostly him. You keep on asking yourself where in the world is he, how is he holding up, but it’s all pointless since you don’t even know if he’s still… Anyway, but when you peer at the small mirror on your table, you can see a small glimmer of another presence inside your room. Sometimes you don’t realize how far you can go whenever you’re thinking hard about something. It gets to the point where you don’t even move when Minho or Hyunjin is yelling or screaming about some stupid things right in front of your eyes.

You take another look, eyes growing wide. It’s a glimmer of a pink-haired boy.

“Hey Princess, not gonna choke me to death for intruding your room this time?” Felix jokes before kneeling down in front of you. It takes you an entire two minutes to understand that he’s here. He’s really here. It’s been so long since you’ve seen him in person that you’re starting to get emotional just by looking into his eyes. They’re still starry, warm and give you a sense of comfort whenever your gazes touch. “Hey, it’s all good now.” He wipes a single tear away from your face that you didn’t even take notice of.

You choke out, debating on whether you should be bawling your eyes out because he’s safe and sound or kick his ass for worrying you. “You can’t just come back and say that! Do you know how scared I was?! Do you have any idea how many sleepless nights I’ve gone through? And now you’re just gonna come back from the Underworld to tell me that ‘It’s all good now’? Well then if you excuse me, I’m gonna go murder my friends and see if it w—“

Felix figures you still haven’t changed one bit. He knows that you’re a lover, not a fighter. Talking big on the outside but easily hurt on the inside. That’s one of the things that makes you who you are today, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. So he wordlessly leans in to capture your lips in his, swallowing every word, every nonsense, every nag that you’re gonna throw his way until you completely melt into his touch. The kiss makes your head a little fuzzy, and butterflies are tickling at the pit of your stomach. For someone who’s never been in a relationship before, Felix will definitely make you giddy all day with a kiss like this. It’s kind of innocent, kind of childish but unforgettable.

The deeper the kiss gets, the more you think about your conversation with him the other day when he’s driving you to the diner. Fate might be a thing, but still a debatable topic. You’re not gonna say that you believe in fate because that’s a whole lot of commitment for someone who can’t even stay up to date with a short web drama. But maybe, just maybe, fate is doing its job just fine after all because you can’t ask for anyone else to be with you at the end of the world. You know that Felix’s not here just because the universe pities you (or him), or he will love you just for the hell of it either. Everything happens for a reason, but more importantly than ever, he’s not going anywhere this time. You didn’t ask, you’re sure of it by the look in his mocha eyes.

Because like you’ve said before, his eyes never lie. They could never.

You pull away before planting your hands on either side of his shoulders, chest heaving up and down due to shortness of breaths. “How did you...you know, make it?”

“I really thought that I was going to suffocate to my untimely death under the ruins of the diner but the girls found me later on when they were digging through everything. I was knocked out for a good week, some scratches here and there, but no one was hurt severely“ he stops himself before continuing when he sees your glossy eyes. “Nayeon is fine too. She didn’t lose that much blood, surprisingly.”

You let silence fall upon the both of you for a second when a rush of relief runs down your spine. Then, your lips twitch slightly at what you’re going to say next. “Do you know why I treated your wounds that day? Do you know why I stared at the floor when your friend was teasing us? Do you know why I spent the past few days being all depressed and teary in bed?” You ask Felix with such determination that it makes him chuckle.

“Easy,” he grins and caresses your cheekbone the exact same way he did a few days ago. “Because you fell for a spoiled rich kid who knows absolutely nothing about being in love. Just like how I did for you, a girl who’s best at killing the walking dead, not cooking, not cleaning, none of that shit. Weirdly enough, fate brought the two of us together again when we’re both lying on the borderline between life and death.”

You roll your eyes at him and finally crack a smile. The smile that he adores the most. “Then what if fate does us apart? What if it doesn’t want us to end up with each other again? What if this isn’t a happy ending but a beginning to something much more terrifying?”

“In that case,” Felix leans in again, his breath fanning your cheeks. “I will always find you. And look for you, and run to you until I no longer have the strength to lift myself off the ground with my own feet.” He gently slips the silver ring that he treasures with his entire life onto your finger and places small kisses on your knuckles, looking as beautiful as ever.

He’s right, and wrong at the same time. The idea of fate does have some kind of power over mundane mortals like you because you’ve been tied down to the idea of not being able to control your own life since you’re born. But on the other hand, sometimes you just have to take matters into your own hand to be able to get what you want in life. So seeing how determined Felix is to find you even if it means walking to the other side of the planet with his bare feet in spite of being such a naïveté who believes in things that are considered dumb, you know that he’s being serious.

At the same time, you accept the fact that you didn’t find love, it found you because it’s got a little something to do with fate, destiny and what’s written in the stars.

You tell him, voice hoarse. “You’ll find me and never let me go?”

“Not this lifetime, not even in another one.” He says with a smile, eyes crinkling.

#stayshub #stray kids ot9 #lee felix fluff #zombie apocalypse #skz au #skz fanfic #felix fic #lee yongbok #stray kids scenarios #felix x reader #han jisung #yang jeongin #bang chan #kim woojin #lee minho #hwang hyunjin #seo changbin

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mooshs-crack-headcanons · 4 years

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I just found your gem of a blog :3 what op character is husbando material in your opinion ;)

Hello! I'm glad you like my trashy corner here on the internet! 💙

Very good question! This isn't a ranked list, but three of the men I think would just be absolutely 😚👌 material (did this turn out more headcanony as it went on? Yes, yes it did.)

First we have everyone's favorite cyborg...

Franky

Look I don't personally simp over Franky but look, he's clearly SUPER husbando material. He's SUPER supportive and would try his absolute best to help you out with whatever you need, he's SUPER fun and with his personality it's super hard to feel down with him around, I think post timeskip cuddling with him would be kind of difficult but I think with all of his tinkering he'd figure our a way to have an attachment to make for some SUPER cuddles.

Overall: SUPER/10

Next we have the first mate to the King of the pirates himself...

Silvers Rayleigh

Listen. I am an absolute whore for this man. Is it because every fucking scene I see him in is always fucking badass? (The man not only swam through the calm belt, but killed a fucking sea king. ALL WHILE FUCKING SHIRTLESS) Yes. It is also because I'm in love with his wife? Also yes. Can you imagine the fucking stories he'd tell? Sailing the seas with Gol D. Fucking Roger, the human personification of fucking coke, and the wild shit they did on the Grandline? He has so many stories he can tell for literal years and still have many more to tell. Also if you're in a relationship with him, you're most likely also in a poly relationship with Shakky and god damn she has tales of her own from her Rocks days. And don't get me started about how fucking soft his hair must feel, have you seen how flowy it is? Fucking combing your fingers through it must be the closest thing to fucking heaven you can get. Also bonus him and Shakky are both amazing people to drink with and long slow drunk dance during the late hours after the bar is closed is just 🥰👌

Overall: Moosh's daddy issues + polyamory dream/10

And finally, being the very predictable bastard I am...

Shanks

I think my mutuals and long time followers will have seen this from a mile away, I tried not to go fully predictable with the other two but...god damn it what can I say? It's fucking Shanks. If I'm a whore for Rayleigh, then I don't even know how to describe what the fuck I am for Shanks like, just my header. Look at it.

I don't know how the fuck to explain to people outside of the discord.

Listen, where the fuck do I begin? First of all amazing person to drink with, sure it gets a little rowdy but if you're someone who doesn't drink or doesn't like things getting to wild he'll instantly snap the just of the crew into shape just to make sure you're completely comfortable. He's a fucking Yonko which yes comes with the trouble of the marines, other Yonko crews, and rowdy pirates causing troubles in his territories (*cough cough* Bartolomeo looking at you *cough cough*) but just imagine all the traveling and adventures you get to go on! Yes there's always the overwhelming presence of the World Government around but think about it, you're on one of the most powerful pirate crews in the whole world, think of the sense of freedom. This man is just fucking great with kids (just ignore the part with Luffy stabbing his eyes and eating a fruit that changed his body forever) he just has a natural aura to him that makes kids just fucking attached to him by the leg wherever he goes, it's something he's put up with on every single island he goes to ever since he forgot when. So this basically me hinting at daddy material

Need more? Read this previous post that goes into my further thirst of him (small slight NSFW warning)

Overall: Openly sinning at Shanks Church/10

#one piece #moosh speaks #one piece headcanons #cyborg franky #silvers rayleigh #red haired shanks #shanks truly is our lord and saviour #non request related #moosh back on his bullshit #moosh's thirst struggles

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penroseparticle · 3 years

Note

Would it be appropriate for me to be That Dumb Bitch™ and ask for all of the music asks? Because I know I'm gonna ask them all on Anon anyway and I really love your opinions,thoughts, and suggestions on music

Thank you so much💜 ily(platonically)

And I hope you're drinking water

ILY too anon

We both know I’m drinking Diet Cokes rather than water. But I appreciate it! And of course you can be That Dumb Bitch. I approve of all Dumb Bitches as I am one too. all 30 questions coming right up!

your favorite album opener I know it’s pretty basic to answer Arctic Monkeys is a good band, but I am pretty basic so here we are. AM is a near perfect album, which is not news to anyone, but few people know that Do I Wanna Know? is the first track on the album. Masterful.

a song starting w/ the same first letter of your first name Cheat, by Emily Burns. It’s just a quiet, competent, earworm. And it’s a pretty nice message too- if it were me I wouldn’t have cheated, end of. I like it.

a song outside of your usual genre I’m not super into Metal. That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy it, my brother pretty much exclusively listens to hard rock and metal and such, so I have some stuff I like. But it’s just one of those genres someone has to introduce me to songs in. That said, I really like Cold Water by Protest The Hero. Good stuff!

a song that reminds you of your favorite season Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy is SUCH a Fall song, I swear.

a song from a lifelong favorite artist I think my lifelong favorite artist is Ms. Lauryn Hill, if we’re going by the artists I’ve loved longest- that’s obviously influenced by my mother, who LOVES Jill Scott, Lauryn Hill, etc. I’m going with a Fugees song, not an independent, but it’s still fantastic- the classic “Killing Me Softly With His Song”.

your current “on repeat” song Montero by Lil Nas X is still on repeat and I’m not ashamed.

a song your friend introduced you to that you ended up loving Shout out Anna for introducing me ti Leikeli47! Girl Blunt was the song and now I just love her in general but Girl Blunt is good. I think my fave is Wash and Set though, so have a freebie on me.

a song that speaks the words you couldn’t say I have a hard time asking for things for myself so Rose’s Turn has always been a song I think but don’t say out loud. Starting now it’s gonna be my turn? Too unrealistic tbh.

a song that captures your aesthetic (can be ideal!) Bambi by Hippo Campus

a song about the place where you live I have played Welcome to DC so many fucking times (By Mambo Sauce because this city is a fucking joke) and I am thoroughly sick of it. When youth hockey teams use a song as their warmup song it gets old REAL fast.

a song from an international artist I LOOOOVE Maluma, sorry not sorry, and El Perdedor is one of my favorite songs of all time tbh.

a song you can scream all the words to Love In The Morning by Chris Jobe. I just really enjoy the song idk why. Also it’s a very simple song and it’s easy to sing.

a reboot of a song/songs you already loved (remix, mashup, acoustic, etc.) I love Passionfruit, but Drake is a... problematic artist to enjoy nowadays. Yaeji did a very slow, lilting, quiet cover of it that I quite like. So now for my Passionfruit fix I support a small artist and not, you know, Drake

a song with the name of a place in the title Oh god. Vienna is literally the name of like 4 songs that I love (The Fray, Billy Joel, Lambert, and Ultravox, so I’ve gotta go with that one tbh. Lambert is instrumental and Ultravox is some chill ass 80′s stuff, and everyone knows the Billy Joel one.

a song that reminds you of traveling Feel It Still by Portugal the Man reminds me of a trip I took to NYC because someone I went with loved the band.

your favorite childhood song My favorite childhood song is What Kind of Pokemon Are You? From the 2.B.A. Master album for pokemon. It is my fave because that cd is the first piece of music I ever bought for myself.

a song that reminds you of a good time Midnight by Caravan Palace. I have seen Caravan Palace three times live, more than anyone but Betty Who, and I ALWAYS have a fantastic time at their concerts. Just. So good.

a song that reminds you of a bad time Season 2 Episode 3 by Glass Animals is how I describe depression to people- it’s not just that I’m like, blank or sad or bland. It’s that I go through the motions and it doesn’t feel like anything. I do things I love and it feels like nothing. You kind of just can’t do anything to get out of it, your stuff just stops working.

a song from an artist whose old music you enjoy more than their new music So it turns out that my favorite album by FAR for OkGo is Of The Blue Color Of The Sky, a fairly old album of theirs. I like most of thier stuff and obviously all of their videos are great, but my favorite song of theirs is from this album- Needing/Getting.

a song that empowers you I like other Lady Gaga songs more but Donatella makes me feel like I can punch through Concrete idk why

a song from a local artist DID YOU KNOW GINUWINE IS FROM DC. ANYWAYS STREAM PONY

a song you related to in the past and present, but for different reasons Let’s Dance To Joy Division by The Wombats is a song I’ve always related to. Back in the day it was just loud and fun and very good, and now I really think the message of “Everything sucks but we’re gonna celebrate what we can” is something I try to absorb as much as possible now.

your favorite cheesy pop song Classic by MKTO is an objectively bad song that I constantly have in my Spotify Wrapped. I legit can’t explain it. Is it good? no. Is it original? Also no. Is it interesting? No! I don’t get it but I’m under the spell

a song from a soundtrack (musical, movie, video game, etc.) A PROMISE FROM FIRE EMBLEM: THREE HOUSES WAS MY NUMBER THREE SONG ON MY SPOTIFY WRAPPED LAST YEAR SORRY MOM SORRY GOD

the song currently stuck in your head OR the song you are listening to right now My music is on shuffle but it just hit Hot Girl Bummer by Blackbear

a song that taught you a lesson Which to Bury, Us Or The Hatchet by Reliant K is one of my favorite songs and really is an object lesson in letting things go. What’s more important? The person or the problem? And sometimes it’s the person, so you bury the hatchet, and sometimes it’s the problem, and you bury us (the relationship). It’s a good song imo.

an instrumental song Teleblister by Clever Girl

a song you always skipped, but ended up loving once you listened to it My favorite song from The Blessed Unrest by Sara Bareilles is Cassiopeia and I straight up skipped it every time I listened for the first like, 6 months I listened to the album.

your favorite album closer good kid, m.A.A.d city is a perfect album as well, and Compton is the last song on the album. Perfection.

your all-time favorite song Such a hard question, and not always easy to answer to be honest. It fluctuates. But for me I think my all time favorite song is currently

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threeletterslife · 4 years

Text

03 | Illegirl

→ previous | next

→ summary: Excelling in every school subject, acing every math test and conquering the academic world is something you do as easily as breathing. As your residential social outcast nerd, you live rather as a recluse, talking to almost no one except for your dear ol’ cousin and that sweet boy in a few of your classes—Jungkook? was that his name? Befriending your ʰᵒᵗ AP stats teacher was the last thing on your high school senior agenda…

→ genre: 90% fluff, 8% crack, 2% angst | teacher!au & f2l!au

→ warnings: profanity (like y/n really needs to tone it down lmao) & kissing/making out

→ wordcount: 7.2k

You're still packing up your stuff after another math class when Jimin walks up to you. You stand up, swinging your backpack over your shoulders and look at your teacher, waiting for him to say something.

"Y/N..." Jimin begins. "Jin told me you eat lunch alone."

You freeze. "Uh y-yeah," you stutter, mental cursing Jin out for telling your teacher. "It's no big deal, I swear."

Jimin frowns, his forehead wrinkling. "Jin worries."

"He always worries," you say as you start to walk towards the door to leave.

"Wait, Y/N," Jimin says, making you stop in your tracks.

"Yes?" you say, turning around, slightly exasperated.

"You need to socialize with people your age," Jimin says. "How do I put this is a soft way? Um... A good student has good grades and a good social life."

You shrug. "I don't need a good social life if I have great grades," you counter, smiling goofily.

Jimin doesn't chuckle. He doesn't even smile. "Y/N, I'm serious. No one likes to be alone."

"You're starting to sound like Jin," you complain.

Jimin sighs. "Listen. I don't know if it's embarrassing for you to eat alone in the cafeteria, but you can eat in my classroom if it makes you feel any better."

You want to accept. You do feel absolutely humiliated as you eat the lunch Jin packs you every day in solitude. Everyone around you is always laughing with their friends, hanging around in groups. In your eyes, it seems like you're the only loner.

But deep down inside, you know you can't accept your teacher's invitation to eat lunch in his classroom.

"I'd like to, er... Mr. Park, but I can't," you say. "I'm sorry," you add. "People might spread rumors. And you know teens these days with their gossiping." You flush at the thought... Imagine if they knew you'd made out with him. You were sure that if you thought your teacher was physically attractive, other girls thought that too. They'd literally roast you on a stick if they found out...

Jimin nods, cheeks turning pink. "Ah, right, the rumors. I forgot about that. Well then, sorry for keeping you in, you should go. Have a good lunch."

"You too," you murmur as you leave. But you knew damn well lunchtime was your least favorite time of the day—it'd take some miracle for any lunch to be good.

You slowly walk to the cafeteria, stopping by your locker to waste some time. Counting slow seconds, you trade out your math book with your philosophy textbook and make sure each thing in your locker is sitting up straight in an orderly fashion. You kill even more time when you start to alphabetize your textbooks -- which only takes a few seconds. So you disorganize the books just to reorder them in color order, starting from your red math book and ending with your purple French book.

Every day, you spend at least a good ten minutes at your locker, taking your time before you had to embarrassingly sit all by yourself to eat.

Today, you unlock your phone, leaning into your locker as you checked your usually very few texts. Due to your lack of friends, Jin was the only one who would regularly text you. And now you see that he had sent you at least ten texts in a row.

"Hi Y/N!" a bright voice calls and you look up from your phone, turning around and facing away from your locker. "So... how's it going?"

"Oh, uh hey, Jungkook," you say, closing your locker door. "Everything's going okay." You shrug, but heart beating a bit inside. It was weird to see one of the school's popular boys to give you, a loner, so much attention every day. This boy would not leave you alone in school.

Jungkook smiles, his nose scrunching up and his eyes brightening. "Well, that's good to hear. Want me to hold your books for you?" he asks, gesturing towards the three textbooks you were currently carrying.

"No, it's fine," you decline, shifting the heavy books in your arms.

"Oh, okay," Jungkook shrugs. "Hey, if you ever want to eat lunch with someone... uh, I'm always... available. You can eat with me anytime! Maybe, uh even right now!"

As cool as it would be to eat with such a devilishly good-looking guy in your grade, you can't help but immediately decline.

"I'm sorry, Jungkook. I like eating by myself," you say, feeling guilty as Jungkook's face falls. "But um... you're welcome to take some of my food."

His face lights up at that and you smile a little.

"On second thought, you can have my lunch," you say as you shove Jin's deliciously cooked sack lunch meal into Jungkook's hands. "I... uh, gotta get going now." You quickly rush away.

"I'd rather eat with you than eat your food, though!" Jungkook calls as you walk away.

Shaking your head, you just check your phone while you escape. You see a few new texts from your cousin and you reply right away.

It's been a few days since Jimin's invited you to eat lunch in his classroom. You're packing your stuff up again when you see Jimin standing in front of your desk.

"Hey, can I have a word?" he says.

"Yes?"

"I was wondering why you decline every invitation for you to eat with your peers," your teacher says, placing a hand on your desk.

You raise your eyebrows.

"A few days ago with Jungkook..." Jimin says.

"Did Jin tell you?" you immediately counter, leaning back in your seat and sighing. "I need to start telling him to keep his dramatic mouth to himself."

"Actually, I saw you," Jimin says.

"You were watching me?" you ask, frowning.

"Well, I was passing by and I happened to see you," Jimin quickly adds. "I used to think the other kids didn't like you. I thought maybe they were bullying you for being so smart. But then I saw that your peers do like you and you're the one that's pushing them away. Why?"

You flinch. "I like solitude," you say. "The kids here are probably fake anyway."

Your teacher sighs. "If that's what you tell yourself then fine. But I've been thinking, Y/N... since you're such a math whiz, I was wondering if you want to start a math club during lunch," Jimin says, crouching down to your eye level.

You don't even hesitate. "No thanks, Mr. Park," you say. "Besides, I don't know enough people to make a club."

Jimin smiles warmly, his pretty, pink lips curling up slightly as his eyes sparkle. "That's okay, I'll recruit the people for you."

"I don't know Mr. Park..." you say. "What would a math club do, anyway?"

"You won't be alone too often during lunch anymore," Jimin says. "And you'll be able to enter math competitions and win, you know, make your school proud...Make Jin proud..."

"I really don't know, Mr. Park," you say.

"C'mon, Y/N," Jimin says, eyes turning wide, almost as if he were pouting. "It'll be good for you."

You raise an eyebrow of doubt.

"I'm telling you this as your teacher," Jimin says, then he leans in, whispering the next part, "and as your friend." He smiles warmly at you.

You flush at the proximity as you pause, then slowly nod. "I... o-okay." You give in and you think it's partly because of your teacher's sunny smile. "Thank you," you add, not forgetting your manners.

Jimin nods, leaning back and standing up. "No problem." He smiles at you.

You walk out of your math class highly dazed. You can't stop thinking about Jimin's words.

As your friend... As your friend... As your friend...

He's your friend?! You barely even remember what a friend is—it's been a long time since you've had one. Is it someone you hang out with? Someone you can laugh with? Or someone you can rely on and someone that cares about you?

You think back to how Jimin would always put you first during the beach house vacation, giving you better seats with better views, letting you have the better choice of snacks and the larger tub of ice cream. Maybe it was because you are a girl, or maybe it was because he's your friend.

You shrug. You don't think there's typically anything illegal with being friends with your teacher.

"Y/N!" you hear someone shout from behind you, breaking you from your thoughts. It sounds like Jungkook. And sure enough, when you turn around, you see the handsome boy jogging towards you.

"Hey," you say as you shift your hefty backpack on your shoulders.

"I'll hold that for you if it's too heavy," Jungkook offers, his muscular arms on display as he reaches out for your backpack.

"Um, no thanks," you quickly say. "I'm uh... on my period, I need the bag," you fib. "Sorry, um, I think I need to go to the restroom." And with that, you quickly push past Jungkook and find your way to the girl's restroom, deciding to eat your lunch in there.

Sitting down on the toilet seat with a bit of leftover sushi, you think back to your math teacher.

"I can't believe I have a friend..." you breathe.

A friend other than Jin!

A wave of happiness floods through you. "A friend! I have a friend!" you shriek in glee.

Surely if Jin trusted him, you could trust him too.

History wouldn't repeat itself... right?

Now you're starting to see some pattern. Every weekend, you hang out with Jimin and your cousin. It's not like you don't want to either—both of them are good company.

Besides, sometimes even you need breaks from your arduous studying. This time, you three go bowling, which you're kinda bad at.

You're losing, 95 to 120 and 200. Jin was in the lead, just like always. Obviously, it was his idea to come here in the first place. You just order another coke and drink away your soon-to-be loss.

Jimin slouches on the seat next to you, sighing. "Man, this is not my day," he says. "I bet $10 on my win."

You laugh. "You should've known not to bet. Jin's literally the bowling master."

Jimin shrugs, taking your coke out of your hands and downing the rest of it, his pink lips resting on the cold metal of the red can as he gulps away.

"Gross!" you say, "I was just drinking that."

Jimin pauses. "Oops."

You roll your eyes. "Don't spit it out that's just worse."

"I wasn't planning to," Jimin laughs. "Oh yeah, and I've been meaning to tell you—I've recruited 10 people already for the math club. Including you, that's 11."

You nod. How could you forget about the math club? "Wow, thanks," you say. "So how exactly am I supposed to prepare for it?"

"We'll prepare together," Jimin says. "We'll make practice worksheets and research math competitions."

"Sounds good," you say, tossing the empty coke can towards Jimin. "You drank it, you throw it away."

"Aw, fine," Jimin says as he pouts a bit, plump lips pulling out. You roll your eyes jokingly as he leaves his seat to trash the can.

Relaxing in your seat, you smile to yourself. Maybe... just maybe, the math club might be... fun.

"Strike!" Jin cries, startling you from your thoughts as he runs off the bowling platform. "I won!" he shouts. "Loser buys dinner!"

You whine. "Hey, you should've told me that before I stopped trying!"

Jimin returns to the scene, grinning. "I vote for lobster night."

"Me too," Jin grins.

"Oh, c'mon, I don't even work, I live off of my allowance!" you complain.

But Jin grasps your hands, looking into your eyes with a puppy dog look as Jimin stares at you with his doe-eyes. "I love you, Y/N," your cousin whines.

You sigh, rolling your eyes. "You just had to pull the I love you card. But fine." You can't believe you gave in to their pleading. "But you two are buying desserts!"

"Sounds like a plan," Jimin and Jin chime in.

You smile as you skip your way to the car. You feel happy—as if the pains of your past don't bother you anymore.

Your eyes light up at the delicious meal placed before you, the alabaster meat of the lobster creating hot steam that disappears into the warm night air.

"Close your mouth, Y/N, you're going to drool," Jin jokes as he spears you a piece of the lobster meat on your fork, dipping it slightly in warm, liquefied butter. "Say ah," he says.

You roll your eyes but take the meat thankfully, chewing the soft white meat and groaning at the heavenly taste. "This is heaven."

"God, try the steak too—this is delicious!" Jimin says as he starts to cut up his steak into smaller pieces.

Jin takes a piece of his friend's steak and pops it into your mouth and you obediently chew and swallow, the burst of savory taste making your eyes roll back into your head. "How come I never knew this place existed until now?" you cry as you start to shove all kinds of food into your mouth. You have no shame when it comes to eating.

"This is thanks to Jimin," Jin replies with his mouth stuffed full. "He recommended this place."

Jimin laughs, a hand delicately covering his mouth. "You two eat in the same way," he giggles. "The effects of living with each other?"

"Do you approve of them being together?" the sudden voice makes you jump, almost dropping the precious rib you had been consuming.

All three of you look up to see your waitress, beaming as she twirls a strand of her hair with her finger.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" Jimin asks politely.

"I asked if you approve of your sister over there with her date," the waitress says. "They're a lovely couple."

"Er—"

Jimin shoots a look at you and Jin as both of you start to laugh, you even snorting in the process.

"I'm sorry!" Jin cries hysterically, placing a hand over his stomach. "We're cousins! And Jimin is just a friend, not Y/N's brother!"

The waitress blushes red. "Oh goodness! I'm so sorry," she says. "I just assumed... you were living with her... I—"

"It's fine," Jimin chuckles. "I guess it would've seemed like that from an outside perspective. Now can you do me a favor and get the bill?"

The waitress looks faint as even Jimin's slight smile produces some sort of a reaction. "Yes, I'll get on that!" she says as she quickly walks away, keeping her head low to hide her blush.

"Do we really look like a couple?" you ask as you suck your fingers off from the barbeque sauce of the ribs.

"Honestly, yeah," Jimin says, shrugging. "A married couple 'cause you're always bickering too. But it's cute."

Jin laughs. "So, the waitress had a thing for you, Jimin," he suddenly teases.

Jimin rolls his eyes. "She was just being nice."

"Blushing cheeks? Touching her hair? Nah, she was trying to flirt," you say, wiping your hands off on a napkin and taking a sip of your glass of water.

"Whatever. Y/N, you're paying," Jimin says, changing the topic.

You grin. You'd been waiting for this moment. "Oops," you say, shrugging. "Forgot my wallet."

"Y/N!" Jin cries. "You've got to be kidding!"

"Actually, no," you reply. "I'm not kidding at all. Guess someone else will have to pay," you smile adorably.

"I don't have my credit cards with me!" Jin panics. "And I used up most of my big bills for bowling too!"

"Likewise!" Jimin says, eyebrows furrowing in worry.

"Y/N, you are dead when we get home," Jin seethes as you smile innocently.

"If we get home," you answer, not even the slightest bit worried.

"Whatever, Jimin can flirt his way out of anything," Jin sighs. "Do your thing with the waitress, Jimin," he says as your teacher rolls his eyes.

"Here's the bill, according to your favor," the waitress says as she neatly places the bill in front of Jimin, smiling at him all the while.

Jimin gives you and Jin an 'I will kill you look' before he smiles back at the waitress. "Sweetheart," he starts, his voice sweet and smooth, "it seems that all 3 of us have forgotten our wallets, silly us," he chuckles lightly.

"Oh dear," the waitress says, but she doesn't really look concerned, she's too busy making googly-eyes at your teacher's full lips. Jimin looks like he's got her wrapped around his finger already. "I-I t-think I have to call the manager," the waitress stutters.

"No need, honey," Jimin purrs. "I'll bring my wallet from home; I promise, it'll only take a few minutes."

The waitress stares deeply into your teacher's alluring eyes as she absentmindedly nods.

"Thank you, baby," Jimin says, winking as he stands up. "Your tip," he chuckles lowly as he fishes out the waitress's notebook from her pocket and scrawls down a series of numbers: presumably his phone number. "I'll be back, guys. Y/N, you owe me money."

And with that, your teacher leaves. You let out a breath you didn't even know you'd been holding in. Had you really just been affected by your teacher's flirting?

You mentally slap yourself. No, Y/N! Snap out of it!

"He's... beautiful," the waitress whispers to herself, mesmerized.

You roll your eyes. "Not when you owe him money," you mutter.

The waitress squeals as she looks down at her notebook to see a phone number. "I caught a case!" she sings, placing a dramatic hand to her heart.

Jin leans into you. "How much do you wanna bet that's actually not his number?" he whispers.

"I'm in the same boat as you, that's totally not his number," you whisper back, huffing. "I still can't believe Jimin thinks I owe him money."

"Well, you were supposed to pay," Jin sighs. "But I'm not even angry at you anymore, especially because of that hilarious show Jimin just put on. He told me he was always such a good flirt."

"He told me he was just a nerd!" you say, frowning.

"Why? You can't be a nerd if you flirt?" Jin cocks his eyebrows.

"Well, no—"

"Then your teacher was a flirty nerd, learn a few things from him!" Jin scolds you lightly. You roll your eyes.

"No thanks," you say. "I'd rather get good grades than get guys."

"Spoken like a true nerd," Jimin says as he claps, huffing lightly as he slides into his seat. "I've decided that dinner and dessert will be on me, you're welcome."

Your teacher grins, sending your heart beating wildly. Calm yourself, Y/N, it's just free food, nothing else.

"I'm going to KILL him!" you hear your cousin shriek as you get ready for school.

"Kill who?" you ask as you race into your cousin's room to witness some early morning drama.

"YOUR MATH TEACHER!" Jin screams. He shoves his phone into your hands and you burst out in hysterical laughter after reading what was presented before you on your cousin's screen.

"My stomach hurts!" you wheeze, doubling over from your laughter. "Her response, your reply! It's everything!"

"Yeah, well, my stomach doesn't hurt," Jin says, rolling his eyes. "Jimin'll be dead before you even walk into his class."

"Not if I don't warn him beforehand!" you sing as swing your weighty backpack over your shoulder.

"Who's side are you on, Y/N?" Jin cries as you're already halfway out the front door. "I'm your cousin!"

"But Jimin's my friend!" you call out before you slam the door shut.

"Is this problem too hard?" Jimin asks, tapping on your shoulder with his pencil. Both of you are sprawled on the floor, side by side, with stacks of paper and two laptops, busily researching competitions to attend and at the same time, creating practice questions.

You take your pencil and the paper where Jimin had written down a problem. Taking a look at it for a few minutes, you turn to your teacher. "0.4987," you say.

"You did that in your head?" Jimin asks, amazed. "Did you memorize the z-score table or something?"

"Just a little bit," you confess. "But it is a challenging problem," you add. "It's good, let's add it. Hey, can you try solving mine?"

Jimin takes your paper, gripping his pencil and scribbling on work for the next couple of minutes. "17.4?" he asks, setting down his pencil.

"Close, 17.9," you say. "Maybe I did the math wrong."

"Wait no," Jimin says, frowning at his work. "Shit, I calculated the wrong radian. I'm lucky I even got a close answer."

You giggle. "Did the legendary math teacher make a mistake?" you gasp dramatically, placing a hand on your lips.

"Oh shut up," Jimin says, nudging you. "But it's a good problem—it tricked me."

You nod, grinning. "Let's add it to the list!"

So far you two had come up with about thirty problems, working nonstop to cover all the bits and corners of math from Algebra I all the way to Statistics.

You were honestly a bit worn out. Sure, you like math, but this was just too much of it. You roll over to the side, stretching out and yawning.

"I'm hungry," you realize, placing a hand on your growling stomach.

Jimin laughs. "No wonder Jin calls you a hog sometimes."

"Hey, watch it!" you slap Jimin's shoulder. "That was not appropriate!"

That only makes your teacher laugh even harder.

"I would cook for you," Jimin says, "but I don't want to burn the house and kill us both."

"Yeah, I'm too young to die," you chime in, standing up. "I'm gonna see if there's anything in the fridge."

You walk over to your refrigerator which is always filled to the brim, thanks to Jin. Luckily, there's leftover pasta from last night, which you try to take out.

"Wow I need Jin to stock up my fridge too," Jimin says, extremely close to your ear. He's bending forward, face hovering over your right shoulder. You jump back, surprised, nearly dropping the glass container. You should've fallen over but strangely, you're still standing.

You turn back to see Jimin securing you, his warm hands placed on your waist. Quickly, you regain your balance and Jimin lets go of your waist only after he makes sure you won't fall over again.

You swear your cheeks are flushing red as you can still feel the ghost of Jimin's hands hovering over your waist.

God, how embarrassing.

Every single time you two have some sort of contact, you can't help but remember that night when your teacher had been drunk...

You shake the thought away. Stop it, Y/N! You're supposed to be way over that!

"Stop being so clumsy, Y/N," Jimin laughs. "Actually though, I'm impressed you didn't drop the glass container."

You nod quickly, taking no time to get offended or tease back. You briskly take the container to the microwave, heating the pasta up the lazy way.

Jimin's already rummaging about for two plates and some silverware as you set the water down.

It's strange how close you've become with Jimin, how routinely it seemed to be to eat with him or even be around him. But it was a nice kind of strange.

Jimin opens the microwave a second before it would start beeping, taking out the nice, warm pasta. He splits the meal between you two, giving you the larger half.

"Wow, thanks," you say.

"No problem, Y/N the hog," Jimin jokes. You scoff, slightly offended, lightly hitting Jimin's shoulder. Laughing and poking your cheek teasingly, your teacher hands you a fork and a napkin. "Bon appetit!" he says before you both dig in.

Maybe about minutes later you finish up the last noodle of your spaghetti and you pat your stomach in satisfaction. "Ah, I feel so much better now."

Jimin chuckles as he pushes his finished plate away and looks up at you. But as soon as his eyes meet your face, your teacher starts to laugh hysterically. "Ah, Y/N, you're such a messy eater!"

"Wow, thanks," you say as you frown slightly.

"No, really," Jimin says as he suddenly leans forward. Your breath hitches as your teacher reaches out to your face with his hand. His thumb lightly brushes against the edge of your lip and your mouth quivers slightly. "Spaghetti sauce," Jimin whispers as his thumb still lingers near your lips.

Stupid Y/N. Why would your teacher linger around your lips like that? It's just your dumbass imagination.

"Well, well, well," a voice calls from near the entrance of your house. You turn around to see Jin who was smirking, looking teasingly at you and Jimin, whose thumb was still near your mouth. "Spaghetti is such a romantic dinner," Jin chuckles.

Jimin rolls his eyes as he grabs a napkin and wipes his thumb off with it. "Nice to see you too, Seokjin," he says.

"Y/N, when I told you to get a boyfriend, I didn't mean my best friend," Jin teases you, grinning mischievously.

You roll your eyes. "Whatever. You and I both know that dating for me is impossible," you say.

"I know, I know," Jin laughs. "You two are the last people I'd ever suspect to date others."

"Well I'm sorry I love my job," Jimin says while rolling his eyes. Then, he stands up, gathering your plate and his as he heads over to place them in the kitchen sink. "It's getting kind of late. I should go now," your teacher says as he picks up his laptop from the floor.

"You can stay if you want," Jin offers.

"No, it's fine," Jimin says. "I can handle being alone for a little while," he jokes as he takes his jacket off the coat rack and places it over his shoulders. "Thanks for dinner."

You nod. "And thanks for coming over and helping me with the math club stuff," you reply.

"No problem. Good night, Y/N, Jin," Jimin says, slipping on his shoes and opening the front door of your house.

"Good night, Jimin," you and Jin both say in sync as you watch Jimin disappear behind the door; the last thing you see is his bright smile and waving hand.

Jin turns to you. "So you're on a first-name basis with Jimin, huh?" he asks, poking you.

You roll your eyes. "I don't call my friends by their surnames, you know. Do I call you Mr. Kim?"

"Well no, and that's because I'm not your teacher," Jin points out. He chuckles. "So, I saw him wipe the sauce off your face," your cousin teases. "He did that even though there were napkins right next to him."

Your face slowly flushes red as you realize your cousin was right. There had been napkins next to you and your teacher, but he had chosen to use his thumb to wipe away the sauce near your lips.

"Whatever," you say. "Does it matter?"

But late at night, when you were supposed to be drifting off asleep, you still couldn't stop thinking about your teacher's thumb tracing across your lip, even hovering there afterward.

There were goddamn napkins next to him... Why didn't he use them?

"Alright, everyone! Welcome to the first math club meeting!" Jimin says as he clasps his hands together. "This club will be run by Y/N, so show her some respect and give her your full attention!" Your teacher steps to the side revealing you, shaking out of nervosity and gripping your sweaty hands together.

"So... uh," you pause. "I'm uh, Y/N. Senior. Seventeen..." you trail off, looking helplessly at Jimin for help. He just gives you a small thumbs up.

A buttload of help that was.

"I... uh, don't really think I know any of you... But I assume you guys are all good at math," you try, fidgeting nervously with your hands. "Maybe we could go around saying our names and grades?"

A murmur of agreement sets in as a girl speaks first. "I'm Sarah, a junior."

"Hey, I'm August and I'm in 10th grade."

"Yo I'm Nicole and I'm a senior."

"Hi Y/N," a familiar voice says. "I'm Jungkook and I'm a senior."

Jeon Jungkook. Again?

He followed you into the math club? You eye Jimin who just shrugs.

The other six introductions you kind of zone out on because you're in a frenzy, trying to think of what to say or do afterward.

As soon as the last person introduces themselves, you nervously speak what you had planned out in your head. "Um... I assume everyone here likes math because we're going to be doing a boatload of it," you say. "We'll be going on one major competition this year, and uh, depending on how that goes, we'll go on more next year (if the club is still around)." The club members all nod.

"I guess... We can start naming our strengths in math so I know who to send out for different divisions in the upcoming math competition," you say. "Um... Jungkook? Wanna start us off?"

"Oh, uh, I personally like application problems a lot. But um, I'm good at mental math," he says.

You nod, then pause. "63 times 12?" you ask.

"756," Jungkook answers will little pause.

From the corner, Sarah, August and Nicole all gasp in a unison.

"What the hell? I can barely add that in my head," August says.

Jimin chuckles from the corner. "I'm sure you can. How else can you score hundreds on your exams?"

You smile, feeling energized as you see so many talented people in the same room as you were. But you have to remind yourself to still keep your guard. You can't go going around making friends.

"August? What's your specialty?" you ask.

"Algebra II, I guess. Kinda passed it better than my other math classes," August says.

"Kinda?" Nicole says. "You passed that shit with flying colors." She pauses, looking apologetically at Jimin. "Oops sorry, I'll watch my language."

Jimin laughs. "It's fine. Even I let f-bombs slip sometimes. Just don't do it too often."

You can see out of the corner of your eye, Nicole literally melting to the floor and you realize the effect Jimin had on the female students or females in general.

"Nicole? Your talent?" you ask.

"Calculus for sure," she says right away. "That shi—I mean, that class was really easy."

"Sarah?"

"Hey, August and Nicole dragged me into this. I kinda suck at math," she says, raising up her hands in defense.

"Stop it, bro," August says. "Your geometry grade slayed me."

Sarah rolls her eyes. "Fine. I guess I'm okay at geometry. But only geometry."

The list goes on and on. Some people specialized in earlier levels of math while others specialized in later levels—and there was a perfect balance.

"So, what do you specialize in?" Jungkook suddenly asks, looking at you.

"Me?" you say, bewildered.

"Yeah, you," Jungkook laughs.

"Uh... Well..."

"Y/N's specialty is math itself," Jimin explains, winking at you.

You flush slightly and shake your head. "I'm good at statistics," you say.

"The best at statistics," Jimin butts in and you give him a look.

"Anyways," you say, "I think we have a very well-rounded team!" You clap your hands together and smile and the club members. "Next meeting is next week, same day and time. We'll be using teamwork to solve a series of random problems. So... um, I guess this is it for today then. Uh, thank you so much for coming guys. I guess you can go now," you say. "And sorry I'm so awkward," you mutter to yourself.

"Bye!" everyone chimes as they start to pick up their backpacks, some already heading out for the door. Jungkook's the last one out of the classroom. But just as he was about to shut the door, he pokes his head into the classroom and grins at you. "You're not awkward at all," he says. "The meeting was nice. I look forward to the next one!"

"Thanks," you say, nodding as Jungkook waves his goodbye and leaves off to lunch. You turn to your teacher, giving him a look. "Jimin," you hiss quietly. "Stop bragging about me in front of the other club members!"

"Oh?" Jimin asks as he raises his eyebrow. "Why not? Y/N, your humility is admirable, but you've got to learn that you're literally a genius. Own it."

"You're starting to sound like Jin again," you sing. "And it's not like I can go around telling people I'm good at math. You know, no one likes a boastful brat," you add.

Your teacher laughs. "So, do you like the students I chose?"

"I see you put in Jungkook," you say, crossing your arms.

"He likes you," Jimin chuckles. "I think it's hilarious how he keeps hinting at you but you pretend to be oblivious!"

You roll your eyes. "Too bad I won't like him back. I'm not looking for friends anytime soon."

"Are Jin and I enough?" Jimin teases.

"Honestly, yeah," you answer. "But the girls in the club were really nice."

"Yeah. I purposely left out the bitchy, smartass ones," Jimin whispers, giving you another wink. "You'll only hang out with the best."

You laugh. "Woah, sounds like you went through some major student sorting for the club," you comment.

"How'd you guess?" Jimin asks sarcastically.

"Had a hunch," you reply, grinning. "So, uh... I guess I'll leave for lunch now," you say, standing up.

"Hey, lunch ends in five minutes," Jimin says. "You can stay for five minutes right?"

You look out the window, searching for anyone lurking around. But then you realize no one in their right mind would lurk around some math classroom during lunch.

"Yeah, I guess I can," you say, smiling. You set down your backpack and sit up on your desk. "So, did you know the girls in the club have a bit of a crush on you?"

Jimin laughs. "You mean the way they look at me?"

"Yeah, it's pretty hilarious," you say, giggling.

"I can't blame them," Jimin smirks. "They'd be crazy not to like me," he chuckles, wiggling his eyebrows teasingly.

You push his shoulder, rolling your eyes. "That's borderline illegal," you say, giggling.

"Not as illegal as that one Friday night," Jimin sings.

Your face steams. "Jimin!" you shriek, then immediately lowering your voice. "We wordlessly agreed not to mention that!"

"That's the thing, Y/N," Jimin laughs. "We wordlessly agreed. As far as I can see, I can continue mentioning it," he teases. "Besides, it's hilarious now, don't you think? To think that a stupid mistake I made could turn into friendship? How many mistakes do you know of that turned into miracles? I'm telling you, not many."

You feel the blush creeping up on your cheeks and you look away. "I guess," you mutter.

Suddenly, the loud bell rings, signaling that lunch was over. As if expecting it, you quickly get off from your desk, heaving your backpack over your shoulders.

"Take care, Y/N," Jimin says. "I'll see you soon."

You nod, still red from your teacher's previous words as you quickly walk out of the classroom.

God, some friend he was.

You still can't believe Jin was going to leave you. This would probably be the first time he wouldn't be by your side for such a long time.

Apparently, the drama team had been invited to some state theater competition and so Jin had to leave with them for a week.

Jin had been overly worried, as usual, asking Jimin to pick you up and take you to school. You knew if Jimin wasn't available, Jin would've canceled the whole trip; he would never let you be truly independent. In fact, Jin knew you were terrible at cooking, so he stayed up a whole night cooking a week's worth of homemade meals for you since you weren't allowed to eat out alone.

Sometimes you wonder how someone can be so kind and thoughtful.

So, there you are, waiting after school in Jimin's classroom. You'd already finished your homework and you were looking around the room, slightly bored.

"How about you help me grade these papers if you're so bored?" Jimin suggests from his desk, pulling down his glasses just a bit.

"Is it that obvious?" you laugh as you pull up a chair next to your teacher and friend.

"Yeah," Jimin chuckles as he hands you a stack of ungraded tests from his lower-level math class. "I trust you know what to do. The answer key's right there. Don't double jeopardize."

You nod, picking up a red pen and starting to grade. But the first test takes you twenty minutes to grade. There are just too many things to correct. The second test takes even longer—you end up marking off every question except three. You gulp.

Jimin leans over your work as you pause. "You're doing great," he says. "Don't feel too bad about it; these kids mess around during lectures—they probably don't even know what 'math' means."

You nod shortly. "Okay..." you say. But five tests in, you've lost hope for humanity. "This person thought 7 plus 5 was 35!" you shriek. "I'm so done!"

Jimin chuckles. "Believe it or not, it's a common mistake."

You want to cry. "That's like saying 3 plus 6 is 18!"

"You'll get used to it," Jimin says. "Just wait until you get one of those kids who doodle on their test and doesn't write any of their answers down."

"You mean... like this guy?" you ask, holding up a completely blank test with only the name and date up at the top and some drawing of a tank shooting innocent stick people.

"Oh yeah... That kid just gave up," Jimin sighs. "I don't think my students try anymore," he says. "I'm only trying to push them so they can get better. Math only gets harder..."

You nod. "I agree. It's their fault for not trying."

Jimin shrugs. "But I still have those A-students who try their best." He holds up a test with a large 98 circled up at the top with a smiley face next to it. "This kid's gonna end up getting over 100 because of the curve."

You laugh. "Well, that sounds familiar."

Jimin nods. "Honestly, why can't my students be like you? Then I won't even have to curve." He smiles at you admiringly, making you blush slightly.

"I'm pretty sure if every single student got A's on your test, it'd look like your tests are too easy," you say. "Then you'd get in trouble."

"True," Jimin sighs, stretching and taking off his glasses. "Hey, thanks for helping me," he says.

"I only graded like six tests," you protest.

"And now I only have ten more to go," Jimin answers. "I'll finish it at home. Sorry to keep you waiting until 8," he says. "I'll take you home now."

"Okay!" you chirp, heaving your heavy backpack on your shoulders as you wait for Jimin to carry his bag full of tests.

The car ride home is cheerful as Jimin talks on and on, never letting the mood fall from happiness.

"I swear, these days, the kids with fourth-period gym stink up my whole classroom in the fifth period!" he complains, wrinkling his nose.

You giggle. "You should get some air fresheners," you say.

"Oh no, but that won't solve the problem at all," Jimin continues. "They wipe their sweat on the desks -- it's as if the smell is permanently etched into the classroom!"

At that, you laugh out loud. "The freshmen dudes, am I right?"

Jimin nods at you knowingly. "I was never that stinky in the 9th grade," he says, thoughtfully. "Granted, I dropped all of my physical education classes to take extra math classes."

"What a nerd!" you tease.

"You would do the same if you could!" Jimin accuses, laughing.

"Point taken," you say. "But I don't think there are any more math classes I have left to take. I've taken everything our school offers."

"Oh? Is Y/N getting snooty?" your teacher teases.

"What? No!" you quickly defend yourself. "I was just stating facts!"

"Snooty facts," Jimin chuckles.

You scoff. "Fine then. Be that way," you say, crossing your arms.

"Is Y/N mad now?" Jimin asks, looking over at you as he drives.

"Yes," you lie.

"I think Y/N is lying," Jimin sings with a teasing lilt to his voice that makes you roll your eyes to the back of your head.

"Am not!"

"Am too!" Jimin winks.

You slump in your seat. "What's the point of trying anymore."

Jimin laughs heartedly as he pulls his car to a smooth stop. "We have arrived," he says formally, no doubt teasing you again.

"Thank god," you reply. But as slightly annoyed as you are, you're almost sad that the car ride is over.

"Good night, Y/N," Jimin says as you get out of his car. "Make sure to get your sleep so you don't wear yourself out."

His sudden caring words make you smile. "Okay," you reply. "Well, good night to you too," you say, shutting the car door. "See you tomorrow."

"See you."

—previous | next

—masterlist

#jimin #park jimin #jimin fanfiction #jimin imagine #jimin fluff #jimin crack #bts #bts fanfiction #teacher au #jimin fanfic #illegirl

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chasingthepoguelife · 4 years

Text

The friendly Kook

Author’s Note: I’ve been thinking about this all day so I decided to write it myself. I haven’t written in years and the smut will most likely make you cringe but please bear with me and be nice 😊 Also let’s pretend Rafe hasn’t killed anyone in this scenario. Don’t kill me but I also think Rafe would be the type of guy to just do whatever he wants no matter what his girl says. Also I mean nothing by this story, I am just writing from experience. Do not let anyone pressure you, having sex at a certain age doesn’t mean anything. Be safe and happy. SORRY if I change a lot between I and you, I suck. (The gif is NOT mine!)

Summary: You’re a pogue, John B’s cousin (just turned 18) figuring life on the island as a pogue but also interested in the kooks, and get invited to a kook party at the end of the summer before heading off to college. You don’t want to start off as a virgin so it’s bothering you the whole time until Rafe notices and gets you to tell him what’s wrong so he offers to help you out.

Warnings: smut, underage partying, JIARA

You hadn’t seen your cousin John B since you were 10 and your dads forced you to get along. Before moving to Kildare, you had no idea what a kook or a pogue was, you were just kind of in between. You learned quickly you had to choose a side when you and your dad had to move down to live with John B after your uncle disappeared at sea. It was a no brainer in all the madness as the two sides of the island fought as you were loyal to John B and his friends, but you always wondered about the kooks. You had never said anything to the pogues about your lingering thoughts about your enemies until John B started dating Sarah Cameron. It seemed ok to say that you were team pogue and kook because Sarah and John B made it work. After months of long nights of illegal activities with the pogues, their union seemed to make things better between Figure Eight and the Cut. It had been months since any kooks and pogues got into any fights. That just meant there was more time for John B, Sarah, and Kie and JJ to fit in more quickies at the chateau, thinking Pope and I didn’t notice. Every teenager you hung out, kook or pogue, you knew for sure was having sex, except you. It always made you uneasy every time you’d see Kie fixing her hair or Sarah pulling up her top after being in John Bs and JJs rooms. It seemed so casual and easy, even though they’re with people they love. You’d be leaving the island for the first time in the last year in a few weeks to start college at the University of North Carolina. Instead of being excited for everything to come, you’d hoped that by the time you stepped off the island, you wouldn’t be a virgin.

“Hey y/n, if you drink too much tonight just stay at Sarah’s,” John B insisted. “Yes dad,” you responded sarcastically. Sarah and her kook friends were having a party tonight while the boys were going on a fishing trip. “Or if she takes too many lines of coke,” JJ chimed in while eating a sandwich. “She’s a big girl, boys. Now if you’d excuse us, our night away from boys begins now!” Sarah said as she pulled you towards her car. You waved to your cousin and the boys that have been like family this passed year as you drove towards figure eight. “After we pick up Kie, I need to outfit check you. This hot lacrosse player from UNC will be around tonight and god knows you need to mess up your dress a little.” You laughed off Sarah’s comment while you stared out the window, secretly nervous on the inside.

You didn’t want to be in the center of the party at the Cameron’s living room as people started to pile up with the sunset. It was better for you to slip downstairs when the house was full to be unnoticed, especially by Sarah and Kie. They were so rooting for you to hookup tonight making sure your boobs looked right and your makeup was perfect. You could never mention to them that you were nowhere near as experienced as they are. It always seemed that Sarah and Kie could be the ones to get you through a time like this in your life, but how could you talk to your friend about her sex life with your cousin and your other friend whose boyfriend is like your brother? You shrugged as you noticed only an hour had gone by. Topper and Kelce tried to keep you company but you were never fully there. You’d become good friends with the two kooks, but weren’t interested in their company tonight. The lemonade vodkas kept pouring down your throat by the hour. Every time you saw a couple that looked like they’d be heading upstairs soon, you poured another one feeling sorry for yourself. All things considering, you had so many things going for you, but you could only focus on one thing. An empty lounge chair finally became available, as you sat there, slumping in the chair, spilling your drink all over your tank top. A couple sat down a few feet away from you, already on top of each other. “This is not that kind of party!” you yelled, spitting your drink on the couple. Yeah you were a bit drunk already, but your aim was still good.

“Are you going to pay for those couch stains pogue?” you heard a deep voice behind you. “If I did, it would be to your daddy and not to you Rafe,” you replied quickly.

Rafe Cameron, Sarah’s brother, the rudest most obnoxious Figure Eight resident, is the only kook you couldn’t crack. He was a douche 24/7, does whatever he wants, and still hates pogues. He will tolerate a few, but never fails to get in a word. This would make him the worst person ever; had he not been built so beautifully. I wasn’t one to get carried away, but the drunker I got, the bluer his eyes got.

“I thought you were supposed to the quiet one? Y/n, what the hell is wrong with you tonight?”

“You have never literally ever asked me or anyone what is wrong.”

“You hang around my sister a lot, maybe I’m just interested.”

Sick and tired of Rafe’s usual shit, you grabbed your drink and got up, heading for the door until your drink dropped all over the floor.

“Hey y/n, we’re not done talking,” he said as Rafe pulled on your wrist.

“Either you leave me alone or get me another drink after you made me spill t,” you demanded

Rafe got close to your ear and whispered, “I noticed something was off with you from this afternoon with Sarah and Kiara. Tell me what’s wrong and I’ll let you go.”

Rafe was definitely drunk and high. Chances are he won’t remember shit about tonight. You let out a big sigh and opened your mouth.

“I’m worried,” you said looking at Rafe.

“Well no shit princess, worried about what?”

“It’s embarrassing. Knowing you, you’re going to make fun of me.”

“Well I can’t promise I won’t, but I’ll try not to.”

“It’s just that, I’m leaving for college in a few weeks and everyone else, even younger kids are way beyond me. It’s not like I haven’t tried or had offers before.”

Rafe wasn’t sure if it was the drugs or something else because he had no clue what y/n was talking about.

“John B, Sarah, Kie and JJ, hell even pope do it at least once a week and I’m over here pretending like I don’t notice shit waiting for it to happen for me.”

“What the hell are you saying?” Rafe asked until he noticed you watching that couple with their legs wrapped around each other.

“You got to be shitting me y/n?” Rafe laughed. “How are you in that pogue group and you haven’t popped your cherry yet, didn’t you just turn 18? Isn’t that half of what you Pogues do since they have no money for other shit?”

“See, I knew you’d be an asshole,” you said pushing your feet to the ground ready to leave until Rafe pulled you by the shoulder.

“Alright, alright. All I meant was that I find it hard to be believe that you haven’t had sex yet when you look like that,” Rafe said looking you up and down, emphasis on the that.

Rafe sure knew how to make you blush, sober or not. He had promised to leave you alone if you told him but now, you’re hoping he won’t. Asshole or not, he was still someone you had your eye on since day 1 on the island.

“Ok so what do I do about it?” you asked seriously. “It’s not that I haven’t had many chances, I just don’t want it to be with some random guy.”

You watched the party more as Rafe stared at you for a few minutes until he finally spoke up.

“Well, I can do it,” he said with confidence. “At least It wouldn’t be with a Pogue.”

“Come again?” your eyes said bulging out.

“I’m serious. I’m not some random, right? We’re in my house. Clearly you look good and I know you think I look good too,” he winked.

As much as you hated it, he was right about all those things. You didn’t want to lose the opportunity; it was now or never. His asshole meter didn’t matter. As long as he knew what to do, and the word around Kildare is that he knows everything and more.

“Ok,” you said quick enough. “In your room. But pay attention, I will not do anything I don’t like, you will wear a condom, and you will be gentle,” y/n demanded.

“Well in that case, you can’t tell Sarah, or your little poguies,” Rafe demanded.

“This is the last thing I will ever tell them. Or anyone,. Ever. ” you said.

Rafe rolled his eyes and took your hand, leading you to his bedroom.

Rafe when inside first, fixing some things off his bed. You were taking in his room when you heard the door lock and all of a sudden Rafe was towering behind you, breathing on your neck.

“You smell as good as I’ve always imagined,” he huffed.

Just the plain fact that Rafe was over 6 feet always got you going and now you know that he’s thought about you like this the way you thought about him. Now he was towering over you with his hands on your body. With his hands on your waist, he started kissing your neck and nibbling your ear.

‘You’ve always been the prettiest pogue y/n,” he said making you moan.

“If you don’t like it I’ll do something different, but I think you’ll like it,” he said tugging on your ponytail.

He stared deep into y/e/c, until he finally placed his lips onto yours. The kiss was deep and fast, harder than you thought but expected because of Rafe. His hands were roaming your body non stop until he heard you giggle.

“Yeah I’m sure it’s very funny that I’m already hard, but you won’t be laughing in a few minutes y/n.”

Rafe pulled you over to edge of his bed and he sat down motioning for you to come over.

“Start with my upper baby and work your way down, I’ll guide you,” Rafe instructed.

You wrapped your legs around Rafe’s torso and started kissing him until your hands found the hem of his polo and your tore it off him like your life depended on it which made him laugh. You pushed him down and began kissing him from his neck, to his nipples, to his groin area, causing him to shiver.”

“It’s a relief that you know how to do something y/n.”

Unbuckling his shorts, he was left only in his black boxers, his boner clearly visible and big, which made you a little nervous. You tugged them off until they were thrown to the other side of the room. You just watched him until he noticed what you were doing. Yeah you’d seem them before but only on videos, and Rafe’s was beyond any expectations you had. Just as you were about to grab his dick, he shooed your hand away.”

“Sweetheart, that’s level 2 stuff. You can play with me later,” he said winking.

Lifting you off your knees, he brought you onto the bed on your back. He wasted no time getting your shirt off, revealing you in your silk bra, boobs bulging out.

“I’m actually relieved no pogue has gotten to you yet. They’re not deserving of all you have to offer,” he whispered in your ears.

Before you knew it, not a single piece of clothing was seen on either of you. Rafe tried to grab all of your boobs into his hand, but they wouldn’t fit. He went right for the left nipple in his mouth as he massed the right with his hand. He continued to show you attention up there when he finally grabbed your lower region.

“That’s a real good sign baby, if you’re already this I’m going to fit inside you just fine.”

Your fingers rested in his hair as he started kissing down your stomach, earning more groans from you. Even by yourself you could never feel this way, and there was Rafe Cameron raising your heartbeat with this tongue. He made his way to your bottom all exposed, right in front of his face. With just one lick he made you moan so loud you could be heard over the music. He kept licking your spot that made you go so loud; you could feel him smiling into you. He had slurred some things here and there, but you were so high on his tongue you couldn’t focus on anything else. As you felt your breathing get heavier, you were yelling Rafe’s name louder and louder.

“Hold on a little more sweetheart, you’re about to cum for me.”

Too late. At the mention of the word cum you felt all the pleasure rushing through your body, legs shaking with Rafe’s head still in between your legs. Still in the moment, Rafe got up to watch you still shaking from what he did to you.

“It’s not over yet,” he said running over to his night stand. You were still so shocked at how Rafe made you cum, you weren’t even worried about him fitting inside you.

If there was a medal for putting on condoms, Rafe would win hands down. Before you knew it, he was on top of you again, holding your hand.

“I guess it’s different for every girl, but if you want me to stop just say so. You shook your head as he moved lower on your body. You could feel his tip hitting all parts of your core until he was right at your entrance. You felt him push in slowly and it was like nothing you never felt before. He had been gentle, but he was still tearing through you. He started to move faster as the scratching of his back made him think to move more.

“You promise this is alright,” Rafe said in between breaths.

“Just don’t stop until it’s over,” you managed to get out. Rafe wasn’t hurting you like you thought he would. Some people wouldn’t shut up about how painful it would be. It seemed extreme, but you also weren’t believing the 16-year-old who said her boyfriend rocked her world their first time.

In the crook of your neck Rafe whispered, “there’s not much left y/n. I’m sorry if you’re not going to cum but I sure as hell will.”

Out character you looked Rafe and in the eyes and said, “ cum all over me Rafe.”

Rafe completely lost it and you can tell he was done by all the swearing and the amount of times your name spilled from him mouth. Once his rhythm slowed down, he got up and got rid of the condom, collapsing next to you.

“You know that’s the first time I ever fucked a pogue,” he said smiling.

“Care to share any critiques Mr. Cameron?”

“Let’s just say I can find the time to come visit you at UNC in the fall.”

#rafe cameron #obx #Outer Banks #rafe cameron imagine #drew starkey

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questionthebox · 3 years

Text

I’m too lazy again.

So I’m writing this via a fancy

Red iPhone.

It’s dawned on me through this output

Via tumblr and Instagram.

That my most dedicated fans

Are people from overseas.

And I love that !

For example the messages I get in my inbox

Are

From people, from Europe, Canada, Latin America and Oceana.

And

I want to say this,

I’m going to move back to writing

“Good” poetry, I don’t want too be all “dark” seemingly,

But you have to understand something

Where I am, in this country,

In America it isn’t like where you all are.

So this is what America is. So that the picture is painted clearly.

Everyone has mental illness here, from the elderly to toddlers, over the past few days, it’s been hitting me, how absolutely nuts everyone is here, and it literally can’t be underestimated, within this rampant mental illness, are physical ailments, take for a moment to think of the pandemic, unlike Western Europe, unlike countries like Vietnam or Cuba, The USA has completely fumbled the response to the pandemic and now as of this week the new “delta variant” is running rampant through our country, and our government is paralyzed, part of the paralysis, is that our Conservatives here, are pretty much “Neo Fascist” they are openly telling people to not get vaccinated and to not wear masks,

Violence is endemic to the mental illness, over the weekend, there was a shooting incident at a sporting event, in the past 3 years, we’ve had a mass shooting every month, Violence is also racial, the police routinely kill blacks, right wing and Neo fascist violence also takes place,

People our people are fundamentally isolated and trapped, it’s worse for our people who live in what we call here “flyover country” where there’s literally nothing, no jobs, nothing to entertain people, over large swaths of our country, areas have basically become hollowed out. Everything’s also very expensive, it’s extremely expensive here in California and New York, they did a study recently, that showed no one in America can afford a one bedroom apartment, that we would have to work 70 hours in one day, to be able to afford rent on our own, in this atmosphere, people rent rooms, in college my girlfriend told me I should rent a room because my family life at the time was extremely dysfunctional. People rent rooms in other peoples homes, people live with a bunch of other people, or they live with their families, and extended families, when I worked for the government last year, and I was going around interviewing people, the majority of people we’re living in small homes and apartments, with all of their relatives, that mix of so many people living in these confined spaces contributes to the insanity and chaos.

Everything’s expensive, and everything has a price, I had to go to an “underground dentist” in order to get the treatment I needed because my health net insurance wouldn’t cover those procedures and the dentist office I go to wanted to charge me hundred and thousands of dollars. Food is extremely expensive, alongside Gas, Rent, Utilities, I don’t mind saying this, I supplement myself with grey area economic dealings, but like everyone else I too worry about the bills, and it’s extremely stressful and makes me suicidal at times. But everything is expensive, from car registration to insurance, everything is fucking expensive.

Mainstream American Culture is super dumb, loud, chaotic, and fast, and over Sexualized, it’s pretty much like that movie idiocracy, that’s why we voted for someone like Trump to lead us, it’s a society, where every song on the radio is vapid, vulgar, extremely corporate, Celebrities are like Gods here in America, and the public follows everything they do, as if they’re part of them, or they’re cheering them on, there’s also this faux progressivism that makes everything polite, and nice, and it’s hated and despised by people, especially right wingers, because it comes off as so fake, and contrived, Mainstream culture has become extremely Bland, they use LGBTQI culture to further that blandness, it’s all so damn fake.

The interpersonal relationships people have with one another, are highly volatile, and weird, you could be literally dating someone, and a little thing occurs, and they block you on social media and that’s it, the vast majority of people are weird, and strange, you meet them at work, college, wherever, and they’ll reveal that shit about themselves. Finding people, like a collection of people, is hard, one of my best friends is a filmmaker lives in Echo Park in Los Angeles, and when I told him I’m going to focus on being in the LA arts scene, he revealed that he wants to too, thus revealing that he still hasn’t found anyone, and he went to art school!

People also don’t like talking over the phone which honestly makes me violently mad, for example my college girlfriend, preferred we’d talk over Instagram, and when I’d be all like, I’m going to call you, she’s be like I don’t like talking over the phone, when we’d be together her vibe wasn’t even like someone you’d think would not want to talk over the phone, but later on while in the car with some friends, one of my friends said, “some people like to talk, talk over the phone, or just text” and I was sitting there steaming, because I couldn’t believe how everyone just accepts this, if you are lucky to make friends with a collection of people, then you quickly have to adjust to what I call “normalcy life” going to bars, going to music shows, etc, and that can be nice up to an extent, but if you want deeper conversation or connection, or some sort of impulse towards adventure, you better look elsewhere. At most those people are just going to be down to snort Coke with you and do drugs.

There’s no conception of the future, having a future, certain friends will try to pretend like they’re going somewhere, but they aren’t, everyone pretty much is stranded, because there’s not enough money anymore in circulation, to live from. I’m 29 years old, I have friends in the same age range who aren’t married and who don’t have kids, and none of us talk about having kids or getting married anymore. Everyone’s more concerned about the struggles and stresses of the present. The friends that did have kids, are pretty much stranded in unhappy marriages or relationships, and it’s hell for them.

There’s no help either. Whatsoever, none of my friends, or people I know can ask their parents for help, either because their parents don’t have the money, or they’re neglectful or they’re totally fucked up.

If anything all these things have revealed a truly barbaric society, that is misogynistic and sexist, that is racist, that is prejudice against people who have physical and mental ailments and so on.

This will be part 1. Of my revealing of American life, diary posts.

#poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #my thoughts #diary #personal diary #my musings

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parkersharthook · 4 years

Text

Avengers React

Peter Stark-Rogers & Stark-Rogers!reader (twins)

warnings: alcohol consumption, idiot 21 year olds, slight embarassment and humiliation, but in the loving family way ya know?

2.3k+ words

series masterlist

@tcnyparker commented: you should do a sequel with how the avengers react to the video 😂 so yeah I took that comment and ran with it lol

sequel to this (x) << I recommend reading it first

“I am so excited to watch this video of you guys making a fool of yourself.” Clint said with a smile as he jumped over the back of the couch, landing not so gracefully with a bowl of popcorn in his lap.

Natasha snickered as she grabbed a handful of the popcorn, “it’ll definitely be good.”

Peter looked up from his textbook confused, “what video?”

“The truth or drink thing you did a few weeks ago, it aired earlier today.”

Peter perked up instantly, shutting his textbook and moving from the kitchen table to the living room where they were sitting. “it did?”

“yep and we’re gonna watch it. We’re waiting for the others of course and your sister but we’re definitely gonna watch it and make fun of you.”

“oh wow thanks Clint.”

He leaned his head against the back of the couch and smiled cheekily. As if on cue, Wanda, Sam and Bucky came into the common room. They all sat in various spots around the room and looked expectantly at the TV and then at Natasha when she made no move to turn it on.

“are we watching the video or not?”

“chill bucket we’ll get to it. You think I wanna miss the reaction the Superdads™️ have?”

Sam leaned back in his chair, kicking his feet up. “can we hurry them up then?”

“You know when I made you captain America, I assumed it meant you were a patient man.” Steve said with a smirk as he settled onto the already crowded couch, Tony quickly taking his spot on Steve’s lap.

“A, you knew what I was before you made me anything. B, get a room.”

“Well we did but then you summoned us to watch the video.” Tony quipped easily.

Peter blanched and instantly shivered in disgust, “ew I don’t need to hear this. Just- ew- bleh no.”

Tony turned to him, “I wanna say something like without that you wouldn’t be here but you’re adopted.”

Peter pointed a finger at him, “then shut your trap about it. You don’t have an excuse.”

Clint took a quick scan of the room, “where’s y/n? and banner?”

Bucky lazily gestured, snuggling further into the plush couch. “Banner is at a science conference and y/n is in her room.”

“FRIDAY, tell y/n to meet us in the common room will you?” Natasha supplied for them.

A moment later you walked into the room, still reading something off your phone as you bit into an apple casually. “what did you guys need?”

You glanced up to see everyone staring at you expectantly. “what?”

Peter sighed deeply, “they want to watch our truth or drink video and then make fun of us.”

“oh.” And then you shrugged and joined them on the couch.

Peter’s brow shot up, “you’re okay with this?”

“They’re going to do it anyways, plus they’re also making fun of you which I can’t miss.” You paused for a quick second, “and I have no shame.”

“wait! Don’t start without me!” Harley screeched from down the hall before sliding into the room on his socks and hurling himself onto the couch, ignoring the groans of protest. They really needed to get a bigger couch. He wiggled slightly and then relaxed, “okay start the video.”

[To get started, who is the favorite child?]

You laughed slightly, “between just us two or also Harley and Morgan?”

“Well if we include them, it’s definitely Morgan.” Peter laughed

“Oh hands down it’s Morgan, no questions asked.” You sipped at the rum and coke they provided you with, “but between the two of us it’s you Peter.”

Steve paused the video and looked over at the two with an unimpressed look, “we do not have favorites.”

You just wanted to snicker because that may have been a record. 7 seconds in and you had already disappointed Pops.

Tony’s brow furrowed, “I’m more concerned that you two are just casually sipping at some drinks. No wincing, nothing.”

“moving on…” Peter quickly evaded, starting the video up again.

You were now shouting at him, “I’m literally taking over dad’s company when I’m older!”

Peter pointed at you harshly, “We’re both doing that and you know that. You’re just gonna be the Pepper Potts in the situation.”

You smirked at him “And you’re trying to tell me that Pepper is less successful than dad?”

Natasha cackled, “she makes a good point peter.”

“yes I know that and if you let the video play all the way through, you would have seen that I conceded that point.”

Nat shot him an unimpressed look causing Peter to wither slightly. Play.

[Have you ever stolen from either of your dads?]

Peter snorted, “well I’m assuming the answer is yes if you stole from me.”

Tony looked over with a serious expression, “y/n you better come clean right now and not let me find out from a video if you stole something from us.”

You rolled your eyes with a huff, “you guys have no faith in me I swear! Just play the damn video.”

You rolled your eyes, “Well I value dad and pop’s stuff more than yours so me stealing from you means nothing.” Peter rolled his eyes as you thought about the question. “I actually don’t think I have, I’ve never needed to.”

“I’ll take an apology now thanks.”

“you’ll take not being grounded.”

“yeah that works too.” You promptly shut your mouth and let the video continue

[Who's the sluttier sibling?]

You laughed, “Oh me by like 10000 percent.”

Peter shook his head and took a generous sip, “I didn’t want to say it but….”

You smiled and nodded at him, “No, I wear that badge with pride, it’s definitely me.”

Clint outright cackled at this. Like hands on his stomach, keening forward, laughter bouncing off the walls, tears in his eyes cackled.

Steve just rubbed his temple, “Y/n we’ve talked about having a good public image.”

You squinted at him, “your own husband, my father and roll model, has a rep ten thousand times worse at 21 and yet I’m being scolded?”

Wanda surprised herself with a laugh before quickly covering her mouth with a small ‘sorry’. Tony squeezed Steve’s bicep, “don’t worry she’s already doing much better than me. It’s fine if she owns her sexuality, doesn’t mean we want to hear about it.”

“then shut your ears off.” Clint supplied casually. A beat of silence, “wait that’s just a me thing. Right, sorry.”

[which parent do you like better?]

“do we even want to know?” Steve asked, already so over this video.

Bucky laughed, “just watch the video.”

You giggled slightly as you finished off your second glass, “I think I might be a little drunk.”

“off two glasses?” peter knocked back the rest of his, “lightweight.”

“that first drink was more rum than coke and this one was probably 4 shots of tequila over ice.”

Peter raised a single brow at you and poured himself a shot of vodka, “lightweight. Shot?”

You rolled your eyes, “yeah sure.” The two of you knocked back the shots easily, only a slight grimace present on your faces.

Peter shook his head like a dog and smacked his own check lightly a few times, “focus. Back to the question.”

You looked off camera with a lazy smile, “which was?’

You grimaced slightly, “okay now I’m getting slightly embarrassed. Nat just laid a hand on your shoulder and gave it a quick squeeze.

[which parent do you like better?]

Peter shook his head, “I’m not answering that…”

You also shook your head, “I’m not answering that either… I mean, I have an answer but I’m not gonna say it.”

Peter widened his eyes at you, “you have an answer? I honestly don’t think I could choose.”

You winked obnoxiously, “I can and I did.”

Tony paused the video and looked over to you. You were giggling quietly, chewing on your thumbnail in faux casualness. “you have a favorite dad?”

“maybe….”

“is it me?”

Steve scoffed, “no it’s obviously me.”

“You know y/n I’ve been meaning to get you something, let me just go get it from the lab.” Tony scurried off of Steve’s lap and ran out of the room.

Steve was quick to follow his actions, “I have something for you to just wait!”

Sam began laughing the minute they were out of the room and then looked to you, “that’s just cold.”

You let out a laugh of your own, “watch the rest.”

“are you kidding? They’re gonna shower me with shit to become the favorite or to woo it out of me.”

Peter laughed again and you could see his cheeks get a little pink. Oh yeah… he was getting drunk. “now they’re not because you said that.”

“oh they definitely paused the video right after I said that. The rest of this is moot to them.”

The room filled with loud laughter. Damn, your parents were predictable.

[Have you ever disliked one of your sibling’s partners?]

You snapped your fingers, “Oh wait! there was one I didn’t like.”

Peter frowned in confusion, “what? Who?”

“Harry.”

“oh.” A pause, “Ooohhhhh.” Peter chuckled loudly, “You just didn’t like us together because you wanted him for yourself.”

“Not true.”

“so true.”

“it’s true.” Wanda supplied causing you to blush and groan slightly.

[who of your sibling’s friends is the hottest?]

You clicked your tongue, “Oh Johnny by farrrrr.”

“You like Johnny?” Harley questioned.

You rolled your eyes, “no I don’t like him, I just recognize that he’s hot.” You patted Harley’s hand, “I’m not gonna steal your best friend.”

Harley rolled his eyes, “I was just gonna ask if you wanted me to set it up for you.”

“no.”

[If your sibling killed someone, would you help them hide the body?]

Peter shook his head and sighed, “no.”

You looked at peter with contempt, “Wow, I bet Harley would help me.”

“Then ask him.”

You looked to him expectantly with a brow raised. He scoffed, “of course I would help you.”

You reached out a hand to give him a fist bump before staring daggers at Peter, “see? Harley knows what it means to be a good brother.”

Peter just rolled his eyes, “still not helping you.”

[Who’s your favorite aunt/uncle?]

“alright!” Peter yelled quickly stopping the video, obviously remembering what he said. “that’s enough of this.”

“no!” Clint whined as he made grabby hands for the master remote. “c’mon we wanna see who you like best.”

Wanda sniggered, “just let them see it. Worse that happens is one of them kicks your ass during sparring.”

Peter just grumbled and unpaused the video.

You shrugged and rolled your head slightly, “I don’t think I have a favorite… I’m closest to Sam but that doesn’t necessarily make him my favorite.”

“hey! I take offense to that!” Sam whined

You shrugged slightly, “if it’s any consolation, you’re my favorite captain America.”

Sam smiled and turned back to the TV, “yeah I’ll take that. That’s good.”

Peter nodded and answered quickly, “Thor.”

You laughed, “Nat’s gonna kill you”

Peter’s eyes widened in shock, “fuck! I take it back, it’s definitely Nat.”

You shook your head, “Can’t take it back now…”

Peter shrugged and casually said, “I’m dead.”

Peter blushed and cautiously looked over to Natasha who sat with a deadly smirk on her face. Peter stuttered, “I mean- yes- no – I obviously- Of course it’s you!” He waved his arms around frantically, “ya know… spiders!”

Natasha just narrowed her eyes and cocked her head, “it’s okay Peter. I don’t care.” You fought back your laughter, “do you mind getting me a beer from the fridge? Since your standing…”

Peter jumped into action immediately, “of course!”

Bucky huffed out in laughter, “don’t be mean to the kid.”

You laughed as Nat rolled her eyes, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

[What’s the most embarrassing story you can think of about one of our family members? [if you can’t answer take 2 shots]

“One time Clint was trying to pull a prank on our dads and he was executing said plan through the air vents and one of the vent opening grate things was loose and when he put his weight on it, he fell through and onto Bucky’s lap in the common area so everyone saw it.” You waggled a finger in the air, “Very funny.”

Clint frowned, “you’re the worst.”

[Are there any secret relationships going on in the tower? If you can’t answer take 2 shots.]

“Can’t say.”

Bucky eyed Clint with a knowing expression. Clint sighed dramatically, “okay fine I take it back. You’re the best. Thanks for keeping me and buckaroo a secret.”

You grinned at him, “anytime.”

[Is the black widow a maternal figure?]

Peter smiled, “actually yeah…”

“She babysat us all the time when our dads were unavailable or had date night or whatever.” You smiled as you recalled the fond memory.

“Best aunt we could ask for.”

Natasha smiled at the of you before hugging you each, “you guys are ruining my rep.”

You shrugged, “sure but in the best way possible.”

Natasha’s eyes softened slightly, “yeah I suppose.”

The video finally ended with Peter and you slightly more drunk than you had hoped to get. You sunk deeper into the couch, a permanent pink ting on your cheeks. “I feel like that was way more embarrassing for me than Peter.”

Wanda laughed, “you did say you have no shame.”

Sam was next, “and obviously no filter.”

You rolled your eyes, “oh har har.”

Nat wrapped an arm over your shoulders and pulled you close, “you did great. It was fine.”

“thanks.” You smiled at her then glanced at the arm comforting you. “see? This is the reason your rep is ruined.”

Nat just scoffed and before playfully shoving you. You smiled at her before glancing around the room. Best family ever.

edited 5/18/20 (I took out the slight harley/johnny)

#marvel #spiderman #reader #peter stark rogers #peter parker #superfamily #reader insert #peter parker & reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #superfamily fanfiction #superfamily imagine #reader fanfiction #reader imagine #marvel fanfiction #marvel imagine #stark!reader #stark-rogers!reader #bucky barnes x clint barton

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neurodecadence · 3 years

Note

Sorry in advance bc I don't think I've subjected you to this before but Do The Prime Numbers

the only apology I need is for making me remember maths

2 (cause one doesn't count as a prime, right? I never got why though) "what's your favorite horror subgenre?" I love found footage. I know it's cliched and dumb, all that jazz, but I love the whole cinema verite (to sound pretentious) vibes of the whole thing. I know it's fake, I know the undead didn't kill a whole town in southern texas, I know a monster didn't destroy new york, I know there's not an asylum in toronto haunted by the ghosts of patients subjected to satanic abuse (actually considering the history of asylums, you never know on that one) but it FEELS real, like I'm seeing something I'm not supposed to. The low budget only amplifies the joy for me.

3 "you're planning a horror movie marathon with your friends - which movies are you picking?" Grave Encounters (love the genius locii/house of leaves stuff going on there), Halloween (classic), Southbound (great anthology horror, highly recommend), and capping it off with Evidence, so we can all go to bed going "what the FUCK did you just put in front of me"

4 "you can go back in time and watch a horror movie of your choice on its premiere - which movie are you going to see?" Alien, the first one. I'd kill to be there for the chestburster scene for the FIRST TIME EVER, it's not even a question

5 "if you were a character in a horror movie, what kind of movie would it be? what kind of character would you be? what would be your fate?" It's a found footage, and I'm the camera holder's best pal and genre savvy, funny sidekick. I make it through most of the movie, my jokes breaking the tension (even if I do get yelled at in an important character building scene for making light of the situation, where I break down and explain it's cause I'm frightened too). Late in the film it's just me, the camera holder, and their love interest, a chance to escape appears, but the threat is just behind us; someone is going to have to make a final stand to let the others go. The main character say's they'll do it, but I stop them and tell them I won't let them, they need to get out of here. My final lines are "You know me, this is always how I've wanted to go out, keeping my best friend safe and looking like a total badass" As they flee the camera is turned back, showing flashes of light, banging, and me yelling cliches and one liners at the monsters I beat back, until a strangled cry, and then nothing.

7 "answer for real life vs if you were a slasher movie character: a murder has occurred. somebody you knew, though only in passing, got knifed by some psycho killer and the whole town is in shock. the school fool has taken it upon themselves to throw a party in the midst of all of this, "to celebrate life", as they say. - you get an invitation but are you going to the party?"

Fuuuuuuck no, and not just cause I'm not a party kind of gal in the first place (well, maybe a chill drinks and background music kinda shindig). I'm also encouraging people I know to not go, cause it's genuinely pretty disrespectful, might invite some friends so we can share any memories we have and share a quiet evening. In real life, that's about where it ends, probably. In a slasher, we probably get knifed BEFORE the big party, one of us makes it out, runs to the party covered in blood yelling about the killer, causing a panic that only makes things worse when the stabbing starts. You just can't win when you got a Jason type bastard on the loose, can you?

11 "answer for real life vs if you were a slasher movie character: you escaped the killer but your friends are still stuck on their hunting ground, hiding and running for their lives. do you go back for them?"

Hell yeah I do! I'm running that cunt down with my car (which would probably be a prius everyone else made fun of earlier, making it more dramatically and comedically satisfying). IRL, the killer is now pavement jam. In a film, we might have a problem.

13 "you're offered the chance to privately talk to a horror villain of your choice, currently kept secure in a government facility. your safety during the encounter is guaranteed. do you take the offer? and if you do, who do you pick? why?"

No, I can't think of any that could tell me anything I'm, like, desperate to know. Anything worth that effort. Maybe Pinhead, to ask about the cosmology of the world, but he'd probably say some shit that made me go mad and, like, die horribly. Also I don't think I'm smart enough to "get" it.

17 "would you rather have chucky try and transfer his soul into your body or have the sawyer family try and put you on their dinner table?"

Sawyers. You never win VS that bastard doll, but leatherface is still human. Barely, but still.

19 "the asker gets to make up a would-you-rather question of their own."

Apparently the question was "do you wanna see if you can remember the primes, or ignore it and not risk embarrassing yourself" The answer is that I have very little pride or shame left, and I like answering questions too much to ignore it c:

23 "what are some things that give you the total creeps? places, items, even certain times that you try to avoid whenever possible?"

So, okay, it's well known that I'm a brainweird bitch (read: legitimately mentally ill, but trying to be cool about it), but also sometimes I just... See shit. I know logically it's probably visual hallucinations, or memory problems, pareidolia, or a sensible explanation for deja vu. BUT There is SOME shit I have seen that I can't ignore. Houses that don't make sense no matter how I look at them, the moonwatcher, catghosts, and that one thing I will not talk about because I just know in the back of my skull that it doesn't like being noticed. A lot of these are benevolent, or just not paying attention (the catghosts in particular are very chill, if a little bothersome some days), but there are some I will go out of my way to avoid or ignore. Maybe I'm being silly, hell, almost definitely, but I don't care. I don't want to poke at things I don't understand, only to find out it was a sleeping bear.

29 "29. are you dressing up this halloween?"

Shit I don't know if I'll get the chance. If I do.... Oh! I got it! I'm gonna go as my own corpse, being wheeled around in my wheelchair by my pal dressed as an evil spooky nurse! Grim, spooky, kinda funny when I stop playing dead and perk up to go "The punch is fantastic, by the way!", AND I get to have gruesome blood and injuries all over- it's perfect!

31 "make a list: halloween preparation shopping list."

Halloween ain't such a big thing down here in Aotearoa, sadly. I like to make a deal of it, but no one else does. Still, candy for handing out, a mix of some cheap bulk mix kids can get a handful of, and some nicer mini candy bars I can hand out one at a time. Costume supplies, fake cobwebs, and some other lil decorations. I'd love to own a house and go all out for it one year, but for now I can be content with the lil paper skeleton I have hanging in my room.

37 "it's halloween! the clock strikes midnight and at the edge of town, a witch is trying to summon you. what items will she need for the spell to work?"

I mean it's halloween, and it's a witch, so she's already mostly done. Aside from that... A plastic skull, A dvd copy of a crappy horror film, a 2 liter of sugar free coke, a crystal bell, and a chunk of rose quartz. AND a smooch- no way am I passing up that chance!

Thank you for all these questions, I had an absolute blast answering these!

#Asks #holy shit this was fun thank you so much

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

Text

Ducktales Reviews: Escape from the Impossibin! or A Dark Night of the Soul

It’s a long dark night of the soul for everyone’s favorite family of ducks as our beloved family grapples with the revelations of last episodes. While Scrooge clearly smarts from the betrayal he pits his latest security system against Della and Louie, given the title it naturally goes wrong and forces all three to try to escape. Meanwhile Beakly sics Webby on Huey and Dewey, and Dewey gets a cool new sword he can’t use while Huey has a slow burn mental breakdown.. again. Someone get my poor boy some therapy. Suprises, Also an exaustingly deep dive into the life of Bentina Beakly. Disguises but sadly not pies of all sizes insue under the cut.

Well.. this one was fantastic. Obviously i’ll explain why as we go but holy shit I was not expecting a master class of an episode just one week after the already great Let’s Get Dangerous. And yes I had my complaints there but none of them, especially on the second watch, really detracted from what was honesty an amazing episode. And after slogging through “Catch as Cash Can” over the past few days, this was a welcome return to the version of the duck family I love best and a crisp reminder of why this series is so frigging amazing. I may criticize, i’m a critic comes with the territory, but I genuinely and wholly love this show, and this episode is encapsulates why. So enough lollygagging, let’s dew it to it!

We open with one of those scenes where two characters give a similar speech and it flashes back between both as they finish each other’s sentences. It’s a storytelling choice I never realized I always loved as it’s always a good way to amp up tension or comedy. It’s a good way to start. At the Mansion, Beakly is lecturing Donald, Huey and Dewey, because both families likely talked Launchpad into just sharing different days with each of them after the first inevitable sleep driving car crash so he’s with his boyfriend and child right now. It’s also really nice to both have almost the entire main cast given something to do for an episode AND have the one missing member have a thoroughly valid reason for not being there that was set up last week. It’s also really nice to see Donald and Della again. While it’s only been two weeks, both have only featured in one episode this block so far, and Della’s been kind of pushed to the side this season.. not unfairly mind as she was the focus for two solo episodes and a ton of episodes last season for obvious reasons but it dosen’t mean I can’t miss my disaster twins when they aren’t around. So anyways back on the episode, Beakly is naturally assuming theirs more traitors in their midst, and she and webby have narrowed it down.. this dosen’t really come up aside for a gag in a second for the rest of the episode, but is both funny and two of them are clearly setup for later. Have a look

My thoughts in order:

Little Bulb: He probably IS plotting to betray them, but for entirely unrelated reasons. Donald: .........................................................................................................

Look I get it on some level, as he was away from the family a long time, hated Scrooge, and had every reason to betray him. BUT, and it’s a bit but, besides the obvious of Bradford and his goons being the reason they gave up looking for his sister, if for good reason, Donald would’ve TOLD them all about that by now if he’d been spying, or if he’d had any dealings with the man. The man loves his family, uncle included, more than anyone and even at their lowest point I doubt he’d sell the man out for the boys sake unless FOWL threatened them. Donald is principaled, hardworking, loving, and has both dove directly into a nest of shadows and sent himself hurtling to earth in a possibly lethal rocket to protect this family, so even if this is a funny gag, it does bother me Beakly and ESPECIALLY Webby, his surrogate niece, would even consider this. That being said while I felt the need to rant because he’s my boy and I feel protective of him, it was damn funy as Donald naturally tries to wipe it off because.. yeah everything above, only to get caught in the flipping board and ending up as above with Beakly forced to admit it’s probably not him. Plus yeah.. he’s also way too clumsy and anger prone for wetwork so there’s also that.

Fenton: I’m TEMPTED to use the trunks picture twice in a row but besides that being obnoxious.. I get it MORE here. Donald has no motive anymore, would’ve told them by now if he had when he did, and has broken his back for all of them at one time or another. Probably literally in some cases. Fenton is sweet, loyal and another one of my boys.. but his obviousness has left him open to deception in three different episodes, not counting the tolkyolk one since that wasn’t BOYD”S choice: But he put blueprints out online for a mcduck industries project, got his armor taken by beaks luring him in to work for him, and had Gandra working for Beaks snuck into his lab.. and probably in the process also got any info on it Bradford couldn’t get through company files. He’s a good man, a kind man but he could easily be a leak without realizing it and also has a mother at home and could be threatened into doing stuff for them for her saftey.. and yes I know she can take care of herself but we’re talking a regular cop against secret agents who aren’t above murdering one. He might panic even if rationally he knows she’s fine.. or they could do the inverse and use her to get secrets from him since she’s a mother and Gandra could probably easily hack fenton’s armor, since Bradford probably has the full blueprints at this point. The point is while I don’t see him betraying them WILLINGLY, I get him being a possible leak. Donald could be, but again is too obvious and likely reguarly checked for bugs anyway long before fowl, as is Launchpad I assume.

Bluescreen Beagle: I don’t know this dude, but I’m betting he’ll be important soon enough since they brought him up at all and he is a beagle working for Scrooge so that alone is interesting.

Louie: Yeah unlike my boys I have no excuses for him here. While Louie is family, and has proven his own loyalty plenty... he’s also selfish, greedy and shortsighted so like Fenton he could be an easy accidental pawn at best or turn on them for money or an adventure free life at worst. I don’t think he would mind, i’m just more understanding of this given just last episode his response to a clearly suspicious thing making machine was to ignore any suspicion entirely and whine about it while Huey looking into it ended up saving the universe. He also nearly killed them all last season, so fair enough.

So yeah Beakly is going to train them to

WHich the boys are all for while Donald gets all spinny eyed ont he floor. Cue credits... though obviously we have to cover the scrooge side of things too...

Meanwhile at the bin, Scrooge has brought Louie and Della there because there the sharpest mind he knows, and their seeing all the angles means their the perfect test subjects for his new post-deeply cutting betrayal security system. He also obviously goes off on an alteration filled rant at Bradford that has to be cut before he can get to calling him shiteating. And given he’s a buzzard that’s probably not inaccurate. Point is they are genuinely the best ones for the job and both agree.. Louie’s not really enthuastic about any of this but hey it’s their money this is guarding so why not. So with that done since we have two full plots to deal with and they don’t intersect until the last few minutes, like with Forbidden Fountain of the Foreverglades, i’m going to be splitting this one and covering each bit separately since it’s also easier for me to recall and recap that way.

Beakly, Brah, Making Kids (and herself) Cry, Brah!:

A can of coke to whoever figures out that reference first. Or a free review comisson shipping Coke is expensive you know? But yeah as you can tell this bit is not going to go well for any of the kids, or the beakly or my heart. So this plot continues at breakfast, where Huey is meticulously going over both his guidebook and Finch’s Journal to see if there’s ANY signs of F.O.W.L. their connection anything.. it’s also very clear he’s panicking. Given his enitre life is built on logic and he’s now facing a threat he probably feels he SHOULD have seen coming.. I mean they clearly have access to the Missing Mysteries, there must be SOME tie to them SOMEHOW. He, in my opinon at least, feels blindsighted and scared, going up against a group using his own love of logic that blindsighted all of them INCLUDING Scrooge, the most clever and daring adventuerer of all time and Beakly, who was likely responsible for seemingly wiping out F.O.W.L. in the first place. If THEY can be blindsighted, what hope does he have? So he’s searching for it in his comfort texts, kind of like I did at his age: when theirs a crisis trying desperatley to solve it even if you really can’t, which he cannot, at leats not alone. Dewey of course being Dewey, has decided the solution is to get a massive sword he can’t lift and hit people with it and mock Huey for his reading. Huey gets what’s clearly the start of his episode long emotional breakdown, the worst he’s had of SEVERAL this series and over the biggest stakes thus far, seriously get this boy some therapy, while Dewey just thinks the key to beating their worst menace yet is a giant sword to hit things with. He does break a pot with it in an accidental spin attack in a later scene though so I do apricate that reference.

But when opening the serving tray they find an attacking Webby instead with Beakly explaining why she’s doing this to her surrogate brothers: Beakly is testing them by having Webby sneak attack them at some point and the’ll never know when, while Beakly herself works with Donald to secure the house.. sadly we don’t get to see any of that latter part, as it’s probably full of hilarious slapstick, but it’d also clash heavily with the rest of this plot which, while not lacking in jokes, is meant to be uncomfortable and have us on edge like the boys, so fair enough. Webby “Bringer of Death” hugs htem saying this is going to be fun.

Naturally it really REALLY isn’t as Huey is still very shaken by this. And it cleverly ties into what’s been shown from day one and especially this season to be his greatest weakness, and very likely the crux of his character arc: Huey can’t improvise. It’s a nice contrast to Louie last season: Louie’s very talent is thinking on his feet, seeing every angle and making them bend the way he wants. I’ts how he schemes as well as he does, how he fits into the family and what makes him himself. What he needed was to think of others and think through the consequences of his actions. That’s what he gained from his arc last season: perspective, the ablility to improvise while also not shooting himself in the foot for later and to have empathy for people. Huey is the oppoisite: Instead his ablility to think IS his skill. He’s a genuis, able to understand super science on the level of fully grown adult genuises, able to puzzle through confounding mysteries, to solve any problem. He and huey both are gifted with anyalsis, but Louie sees the small picture, the people, the moving parts at the moment, while Huey sees the big picture and how everything connects to lead to one thing and loves learning more and more. I REALLY relate to him that way. But this season has brillinatly drilled in where he needs to improve: He’s not ready for suprises or deviations from his plans or all the things that could go wrong. He can’t improvise, he just panics. It’s something again I relate to and something that each of his episodes has set up leading to this moment hammering it home and me realizing what his arc was:

Challenge of the Senior-Junior Woodchucks had Huey utterly lost without his Guide Book for a while and unprepared for a sudden challenge in Violet. Quack Pack had him unravel when he couldn’t figure out what was wrong with the world, yet he was perfectly fine once he knew what was going on, Astro B.O.Y.D. was entirely about his intellgence and need for structure leaves him bullied and alone a lot of the time even among in his element with the woodchucks and how he finds friendship in someone like himself who gets him. Rumble for Ragnarok showed that while he can comment find for sports like golf where there’s rigid structure, rules and history, he fails as bad as Launchpad at calling wrestling because wrestling is just as much about sponteaniety as planning, with run ins, reff discrations and other chaos being part and parcel and even in real life matches often have to be changed on the fly due to injuries or someone simply coming up with a better finish at the last minute. At the same time the season’s shown how it is vital to him, as the next two, The trickening and forbidden fountain showed WHY his structure works and that it can in the right format, and that he usually has reason for it. And the final one showed that too, with him being the one to find out what Bulba’s up to simply by research, and while he didn’t stop it, his pulling at the threads of why Bradford was there and his hate of them forced FOWL out into the open which, while now putting him on edge, forced their enmies into the open where while their more dangerous, they can now at least strike back. Huey’s arc is , hopefully if i’m right about this, about him having to learn to use his strengths with his weakneses, much like Louie last season: To adpat, to grow while not forgetting who he is and that not everything can be put in a box, as the creators put their interpretation of him. Not everything can be quanitfied or planned for and sometimes you just have to try and hope for hte best. It’s a damn compelling arc, my relating to it helps of course but it paints Huey as a fascinating character and tying it heavily into the main plot fixes how Louie was largely removed from the moonlander plot aside from one episode, as was glomgold’s quest. While the season has three main plots: A focus on Huey, the missing mysteries and FOWL, all three intertwine perfectly and are interconnected. The creators learned well from where they slipped up last time and the result is phenomenal, and they’ve clearly proven this is Huey’s season afterall: Even when he’s not been the a-plot who huey is, how he functions and being forced to grapple with the downsides of it are front and center and I am here for it.

But yeah he’s breaking down, not helped by trying to go to beakly only to find out about the hidden bin and Dewey tries to help him calm down.. only for Dewey to walk in and unsuprsingly the one who can actually offer deep encouraging support was Webby who threatens this isn’t the attack. Nor is her dummy she leaves for them. The boys are left terrified hoping they won’t be attacked and holding Dewey’s sword, but Huey ends up convinced it’s just a test and that it’s the classic paranoia gambit: by telling them something will attack, the real lesson is to be prepared. But Nerp, Webby attacks them with arrows and easily snares Dewey while Huey has a panic attack that’s genuinely hard to watch as he ends up running into the wall and breaking his ankle. This very real pain along with his clear trauma when he flinches at her genuinely trying to help him snap Webby out of it: She realizes she’s gone way too far and utterly terrified her own brothers, sending one into a full on mental breakdown, just to prepare them. Up till now it was probably normal for Webby: Beakly trained her rigorously, if understandably, kept her from the world, probably did this to her, and Webby just thought it was normal and it made her what she is. But it also came at the cost of any normalcy. To me Webby’s always been like a lighter, since she can at least speak, has toys and Beakly you know treats her like a human being rather than a weapon, of the second Batgirl, Cassandra Cain. Cassandra was raised from birth as an experiment to make the ultimate weapon, someone who rather than speak spoke in phsyical motion and could kill effortlessly.. but actually doing so shocked her and she escaped and Bruce took her in. Cass is as badass as Batman at a fraction of the age but dosen’t understand simple life things and can’t speak. Hence the parallel: While Beakly isn’t a monster like David Cain, she still took a small child and turned them into a weapon strugging to adapt to society, and only isn’t a monster because as said she clearly cares about webby and dosen’t want to loose her like she lost her child and in-law to whatever presumibly fowl related nightmare took them from her and left Webby an Orphan. What i’m getting at with this is this feels like Webby realizing while this is her normal.. the boys can’t take it with Dewey terrified and again, Huey nearly broken by all of this and whimpering in a corner. This isn’t bonding between master and student, grandmother and granddaughter, partners in fighting.. this is just .. wrong. So when Beakly, not noticing how badly she’s damaged either boy, demands Webby continue attacking them, Webby refuses, stands firm.. and prepares to take on the person she loves most in the world, yes more than Lena she’s only 12 for christ’s sake, and Beakly gladly accepts. Webby’s training is in session. When we next see them the fight is in full force, and it is awesome to see. After 3 seasons we not only see Beakly’s darkest aspects come out we see her granddaughter in the path. Though at first it seems like what their training sessions normally are, a friendly if lively and full force spar between two trusting combatants. But it becomes clear over the fight from Webby’s reaction that Beakly is going harder than usual, and doesn’t stop when asked. Thankfully her kind gesture paid off as Huey and Dewey whisk her up to the attic. Webby is genuinely SCARED, never having seen her like this but also worried for her: Acting like a monster or not.. Beakly is still her granny and it’s clear FOWL coming back has rattled her. The fist through the attick doors, barred with the sword proves that. The kids head up to the roof with Beakly in persuit like some sort of slasher villian, again fist through a door, determined to still fight while Webby clearly just wants this to stop and so does the audience. This hurts.. intentionally so but I haven’t been cut this deep by two family members literally coming to blows since Amethyst fought Pearl in the first season of steven universe. It’s tough to watch but in a very good way. The boys break up the tension for half a second by rushing her and she just tosses them aside... where their caught by Donald, who didn’t realize ANY of this was going on and is rigthfully pissed.. though dosen’t do the angry dance thing because then he’d kill his children but he’s sure thinking it loud enough.

As Webby reluctantly readies for round 2, Donald calls at her to fucking stop already. While she counters with they have to be ready, which is true... Donald shuts her down. “Not like this”. She’s broken Huey and Webby and Dewey.. is traumatized but fine but this episode really isn’t about him. What it is about is Bentina Beakly and her Dark Night of the soul. I brought up the term for dumb reasons admitely: Because it sounded neat and because Douglas Adams had spoofed it with the dirk gently novel “Dark Tea-Time of the Soul” a title that’s stuck with me and a book I own and still need to read. But I looked it up to make sure I wasn’t badly misusing it and it turned out to fit this episode: A Dark Night of the Soul, as defined by spirtual guru and thankfuly not scumbag Eckheart Tolle whose article explained the old expression better than wikipedia could. While he naturally pitches his book there, it was still helpful so thanks man for your spirtual advice helping me analyize ducks. I owe you one.

The Dark Night of the Soul is essentially a person coming to their lowest point after having lost themselves or feeling lost, rattled by one event and awakening with a new sense of spirtual purpose and a new direction and a sense of self again after it. Having everything you know upended and coming out the other side with a new self, usually in a religious sense. And it works here because really that’s what Huey, Beakly, Scrooge and to a Degree webby face here. Louie, Della, Dewey and Donald are all fine in the face of FOWl and it makes sense: Louie and Donald are often outside the adventure bubble in terms of enjoying it, seeing it’s dangers to them and in Donald’s case his kids, Webby included, and how much chaos it is. Both have accepted it as part of their lives so while this escalates things, both just see it as just more of the peril and chaos that’s a daily part of their lives. Dewey and Della being thrillseekers and loving a good challenge simply see this as taking on an epic challenge: fighting the worst villians of the world off and having a daring story to tell. Webby similarly isn’t that effected at first because she sees it the same way likely and only starts to get bothered by it when it starts tearing her family, the thing most precious to her, apart over it.

But for the other three it makes sense. Obviously we’ll come back to Scrooge during his part of the episode. But for Huey as we’ve seen this upends his world. There was a massive deadly secret just beneath him, an unknown beyond all unknowns, and it rattled him.. and having his own sister constantly terrorize him just made it worse. For Huey without consitencey his life falls apart as those prevoius episodes highlhted.l He can prepare for anything.. but he has to know it’s coming and having a villian group who strikes from the shadows is his worst fears manifest and preparing for that naturally breaks the poor boy. He gets through it though, as once it’s on someone else, his fear falls away and as we saw his focus is entirely on helping webby: Not on himself, not on the risk but on protecting his sister. It shows that Huey has the potenital for instinct, as seen with the woodchuck and wrestling episodes too, he just needs to get out of his own head and let it work with his gut instead of trying desperately to use only his head.

For Beakly though it’s far worse... and really gets to the core of who she is in this series. She was, and probably still is, a Secret Agent, who fought long and hard to utterly destroy FOWL, at the cost of everything else, constnatly having to keep her guard up with spies all around her and with Scrooge apparently being the only friend from those days who lasted the whole time. SHe probably lost countless partners in both sense of the word, time and youth she’ll never get back and everything she had to stop them. She gave S.H.U.S.H. everything as far as I can tell. And then she got her reward. FOWL was gone, she had a child, and possibly had a loving partner, provided they didn’t either leave her pregannt and alone or just grow apart from her eventually we don’t know at this point and i’m just spitballing. Point is she had a child, she had a happy ending.. except clearly.. she did not. According to the website, and it’s probably still accurate, Beakly was living in seclusion following her retirement, likely to keep anyone from harming her child.. but also because with her partner possibly gone, she had almost NOTHING left. A child that either kept her at arms length or she kept at arms length to keep their family safe, an old friend who was busy as is, and a safe world.. that’s all she had. Just her and alone. And that’s been clearly shown as Beakly’s biggest issue as we see: She has trouble letting others, even webby at times given how she lied at her, in and given all she’s lost it’s hard not to see why. After a life time of probably watching cold blooded killers kill people she loved and having people betray her and loosing the father of her child possibly, again it’s vauge, no wonder she is the way she is. And then it somehow gets worse and better: She looses her child, one of the three people she has left in the world.. yet she finds herself in charge of Webby. And with that.. she has a purpose again, to protect this child. This baby girl who needed her more than anything. So she did.. a little too well as discussed. To quote the excellent song “Dark, Sad, Lonely, Knight” from the musical “Holy Musical B@tman!” which yes really exists:

“I remember that horrible night that night you were split in two, and I swore I’d protect you. So I built a wall all around you, but the wall was too tall, it blocked out all the birds and the sun. I tried to raise you right! I tried to raise you proper! I tried to be a mentor and a friend and a mother and a brother too! I’d insulate you from any outside source of fright... i’d make bloody certain, you’d never see another, dark, sad, lonely night. “

And yes as you can imagine that was sung by Alfred.. but it fits perfectly. That’s how Beakly raised Webby, guarding her from the world, trying to protect her from the world the way she’d always guarded herself from it. She did hurt webby’s development.. but you can see WHY. She lost everything, she had two people left in her life at that point: One had given her home and the other had given her her soul back. She couldn’t loose Webby so she made sure she couldn’t and held her as tight as she could. It’s why she pushed Scrooge to let his young nephews into his life. She saw over her time with him he was doing what she did, pushing everyone out. She wanted him to avoid being alone like she was before Webby. And it worked.. and showed her Webby clearly wanted to see the world and that Bentina didn’t have to be afraid to show it to her anymore, and could let Scrooge share in doing so. She let her be free and opened up for the first time in likely a decade since she got a two year old dropped on her lap. And soon wither she’d admit it or not she found herself part of the family. She found herself the voice of reason, sometimes sharing it with Donald, and the one to put both Scrooge and the rest of the family in their place when they nearly tore apart again, helping Donald realize that for all scrooge hurt him.. Scrooge hurt from loosing della too, and helping the boys realize Scrooge, much like herself, tends to lash out at people. She prevented them from getting distance from their family, knowing from experince you may never get them back or mend that wound. She was part of the family and for the first time in her life even if again, given her emotoinal distance she wasn’t really close to any of the duck family but Scrooge and her newly inducted Grandaughter, she still clearly cares and looks after them and even her harsh treatment of Della was well meaning and understandable. And that’s why the F.O.W.L. revelation tears her apart to her very core, her very SOUL: Because not only is the enemy she thought dead, or may of known wasn’t dead we don’t know but this episode leans towards the former alive, not only is her worst enemy, one who nearly killed her grandaughter part of them once again, but their head was one of Scrooge’s most trusted advisors and associates, the man he trusted more than himself at times to do what the company needed and the only one who knew his deepest secrets besides Beakly herself. They now faced not only her worst nightmare reborn, but with vital info about them and everyone around them. And for all we Know F.O.W.L. took her family from her in the first place and now they easily could again and she NEVER saw it coming. It’s why she drives everyone including Webby so hard, because she can’t take loosing everyone she cares about again so they will be ready, they will be prepared even if it destroys them on the inside because she cannot take it again.. she can’t fail them AGAIN. I feel she puts a lot of the blame on herself because in this family it’s her job to be the suspicious one, to see things coming, to be ready, to be the one who knows EVERYTHING even more than scrooge.. and this apparently rattled her as much as he did and suprised her just as much. She failed and she can’t again even if Webby hates her for it. But in trying to continue the fight.. she slips, Webby dodges and she falls off the roof.. and everyone helps her up. Even if they all have EVERY REASON to be mad at her they help. And Webby points out this can’t go on. They won’t get stronger tearing themselves apart.. their a family. They don’t need to do it like fowl, they need to be themselves and work TOGETHER. The one thing they have, the one thing they can trust is each other. Beakly is touched like this and realizes their right.. their not the enemy.. and there the one people,, for once in her life she can fully and completely trust. She tries apologizing to webby, they hug..and then gets an alert. What’s all that about? Well to get that that we kinda have to finish the other story.. which I would’ve put first had I realized this was going to be as long as it was but hey.

Escape from the Impossibin

Thankfully this won’t be as long or as emotionally complex.. entirely. So back at this plot about 20 minutes ago, Scrooge breaks down the challenge and the risk as it was made by the most devious and deranged minds he knows: Gyro and Quackfaster with Louie getting a good laugh out of me by pointing out “Why are the most devious minds in Duckberg friends of ours” to which I say because only Scrooge let’s them go all out, and on the friend part, at least for you, Louie...

I mean maybe Quackfaster, but you stole from Gyro multiple times now. And he hated Fenton for far dumber and more petty reasons why wouldn’t you assume he hates you too.. I mean he did help with Louie’s Eleven but there was also a good chance your head would explode there so I don’t really count it.

Anyways Scrooge offers lunch if they make it, which Louie notes means he must REALLY not think they will. And the first test proves his overconfdience correct as we enter the most dangerous, devious and deadly trap Gyro could manage.. which given who we’re dealing with, i’d be very afraid. The ultra violent ultra violet trap seems at first to just be a bunch of purple, if really cool buzzsaws and sawblades, your standard super villian death course.. but Gyro being beyond your average super villian, I mean the only reason he’s not is he has a steady job that lets him build a clone army with company resources so why would he give that up, jazzed it up with an ultraviolet bit of bulbtech.. and due to the violet light it hides the traps ,meaning their invisible. And while Louie and Della try navigating them, they cannot get through as Louie runs out of PEP to spray them with and Della using her metal leg as a guide, which itself is awesome for her as she clearly and wisely made the thing nigh indestructible and we haven’t seen it tear or get destroyed once all series so good going, really should market that to other people in need of prostetics della and Scrooge. Scrooge is of course delighted as that’s the entire point even if his child and grandchild are understandably not as happy about it. But naturally, as I hinted at in the teaser, it goes wrong as Scrooge’s password dosen’t work and he tries it too many times, been there, sucks. Granted Louie asks hilariously “Your the oldest man in the world why isn’t your password just 1234″.. and though the why is obvious, it’s still a good line. Point is their locked out and now have to escape it for real! Weirdly Scrooge dosen’t catch onto the fact of whose behind it, but we’ll get to that. He does have more pressing matters. Luckily Louie figures it out after an insult at the Bulbtech causes it to flash read, like most Bulbs do.. but since this Bulb’s entire purpose is to flash Purple, that means pissing it off makes the blades visable and while Scrooge is understandably sore that his 3 million dollar security system has such a big flaw in it, they escape. Though I get Scrooge’s frustration: Their going up against someone who knows how Gyro’s tech’s works, if Louie can figure it out so can Bradford and he wouldnt send FOWL in without a full briefing on Scrooge.

We don’t see the next one as it’s a time loop room, it’s a time loop room, it’s a time loop room okay i’ll stop and so does Dell after Louie well meaningly smacks his mom. Next puzzle’s quackfaster and I like scrooge pulling a Dumbledore and having some of his most trusted advisors devise the traps for him. I may hate JK Rowling for good reason but I did always love that bit of the Sorcerer’s (Or phillosphers in the uk because the publisher’s weren’t as stupid) Stone. Death of the author and all that. Point is I like it here too even if i’ts truncated for time. But Emily’s trap is a bunch of tiles that fuck with gravity because apparently she’s magical now... who knew. I’m not questioning it though: She runs a giant library full of dangerous, and probably magical in some cases, literature.. if she didn’t know spells she probably woudn’t be able to sort some of them. It’s a new fact out of nowhere but it makes perfect sense.

Point is they have to figure it out though Louie once again succeeds with some books and, in a really cool bit, using scrooge as a platform with the two walking in time and della grabbing on as they hit the master rune to shut them all off. It’s a damn cool sequence even if Scrooge is agrviated. We then come, after they apparently fought a Squid Monster off screen, because Quackfaster can also apparently summon demons.. or gyro made a tentacle monster which dosen’t suprise me at all. Either way it’s the final challenge in the main room leading ot the bin and in the way of deactivating security: A Scrooge Robot! Because as we all know by video game logic, the Robot Version is always stronger. Of course Louie’s annoyed both at the spending of his inhertince and at Scrooge’s egotisim but he has a good point there and the thing looks hilarious clunky with 8-bit eyes.. till it morphs, to scrooge’s delight, into a giant purple robot with a cane and scrooge’s face on the front j jonah jameson style. I never see that spider-slayer refrenced but i’mg lad this one did. Granted it could be to arim zola or something but I feel the Spider-Slayer refrence fits here.. take a look if your curious.

See? Anyways a fight insues with Scrooge, in a great bit, riling up Della when she fishes for him to admit she would’ve’ been a better base by bringing up Donald first instead. The trio get their asses kicked, and a pep can drops out, as naturally Louie was lying but it’s a rare flavor so I get it. I do. Thankfully his lies do save them however as the Cherry PEP he fires at the machine stuns it while Scrooge USES THE POGO CANE MOVE ON IT. Hell.. fucking yes. It’s about time we saw that again and in fully glory here too. I really want that game on the switch by the way.. where’s my disney afternoon collection.. WHERE CAPCOM WHERE. But yeah they won.. and Scrooge is upset. Because this was SUPPOSED to keep FOWL out but if his family can beat it so can they. And now we get to Scrooge’s far less horrifying dark night of the soul as we get a sense of just how much this whole ordeal has rattled him: As he mentioned at the top of hte episode he TRUSTED Bradford. It was clear he never liked him as a person, but Scrooge is a paranoid guy, he hardly trusts anyone and for someone to earn that it had to take a lot.. and it naturally stings. We see that while he may of been a necessary evil, SCrooge still liked the guy on some level and to have someone he trusts and respects betray him naturally shook Scrooge. He trusted someone.. and they knifed him in the back going against all he stands for. Instead of earning money, Bradford stole what Scrooge and others worked for while working to destroy him as soon as he feasably could and take his legacy for himself. To Scrooge, Bradford was revealed to be the worst kind of parasite and one that leeched off him for probably decades. But what’s worse is the risk that creates: Bradford was one of his top guys and the only other one running the company: He knows EVERYTHING about Scrooge, every secret, every investment, where every treasure is stored, and everywhere he’s been. He knows about his friends, family, some of his darkest and most guarded for a reason secrets, secrets he’d never give away freely.. and can now use ALL of it to destroy his family and everyone they care about. That sheer level of betryal would rock anyone but someone like Scrooge, who BARELY trusts anyone and can even be paranoid of his own family from time to time? LIke beakly it’s easy to see why he spiraled and why he put so much into this: Because like Beakly, he was blindsided, and his buisness, his crown jewel, the thing he put his heart and soul into and worked hard to build up and CONTINUES to work hard on to this day.. was being slowly corrupted and he has no idea what parts or where or just what all Bradford did with his money and resources and what nasty suprises he has hidden in them. The one thing he could trust as almost entirely his is tainted, his sense of security tainted.. and his sense of self tainted. If Scrooge freaking mcduck can get blindsighted like this, just how powerful is his former friend?

And we soon see Scrooge’s own fears manifest as Bradford hyjacks the robot, revealing this was, naturally him.. as of COURSE it was the guy who was revealed to be an evil mastermind who hates your guts. And because Scrooge didn’t change his password, which cleverly is the sum total of his money hence why it was a mass of numbers, which.. really dude? I don’t like doing it either and don’t change mine up if I can help it but even I did when someone tried hyjacking my spotify account. Yes that happened, I thought it was just a wifi thing, it was not. So yeah turns out Bradford was STILL one step ahead, and thus knew about the defenses and thus trapped Scrooge in them for reasons that will dramatically be revealed at the end of the episode. He also naturally attacks because just like JJ, he’s a crotchety old man whose yelling at our loveable rascals to in a sense, get off his lawn. Granted unlike JJ he’s clearly never came around, but the parallels are there. Point is it’s time for another fight this time using the gravity runes, with Scrooge hitting his despiar event horizon as if FOWL can outhink him on this what hope does he have. But like the rest of his family sans launchpad did for Beakly, Louie helps him through the other side and points out there are things they have they don’t.. and demonstrates as naturally the bulb tech used for the robot is just as irate so Louie tricks it into going after him then does a bin dive, with the massive amount of money destroying the thing and Bradford unable to get Gandra to stop it, so our heroes win... oh and Bradford left the company.. for some reason, because as his investors Scrooge can’t really remove him and I was curious how they’d get him out.. then again Scrooge probably, even as cheap as he is, had security cameras showing Bradford’s little talk with Bulba or any of his various rants as evidence. I mean Scrooge is stingy but he’s not STUPIDLY stingy. it’s the best I got, point is he’s to the wind now and our heroes have one! Except yeah.. the ending of the last segment.

Lost the Battle, Time to Win the War

In an utterly amazing swerve we find out just what kind of alert Beakly got as the rest of this episodes cast have arrived at the bin and Beakly asks why Scrooge hasn’t answered his phone.. and when Scrooge does Bradford’s plan comes into view: Turns out he locked scrooge in as a DISTRACTION, keeping him in the one place no one could reach him. It also explains why he attacked Scrooge: Besides having the perfect weapon for it and getting to gloat, someone needed to keep him busy while the rest of his operatives finished his master stroke. Turns out EVERYONE involved with one of the missing mysteries called: Goldie called to gripe about the fountain being gone and Scrooge taking it before she could, the Mervanans called to tell him the harp was swindelded by some eggheads and their good vibes did nothing to save her, we also get to see the pink one in full view which is nice but unimportant, and we get Drake back for a cameo!

But sadly it’s because he just met Steelbeak for the first time.. again, and Beaky clearly beat the every loving shit out of him as he’s heavily bruised, and took the papers on Solgelo’s Circuit with him

And Gene called to tell them he was being kidnapped as the Blot, now with a fully functioning gauntlet got to him. So to sum it up F.O.W.L. in one night, took all the missing mysteries they’d gathered or found, beat one of their most trusted allies and made their new security system worthless.

It was an utterly masterful story move: Firmly tying both plots together and confirming FOWL has SOMETHING bigger they want out of them. Some bigger plan, and as the last two weeks proved already knew where they were. Now it’s open war F.O.W.L.’s taken the first shot and hit hard.

But Scrooge, now with his confidence restored thanks to Louie, instead of backing down, is galvanized: They’ve lost the mysteries they have but if F.O.W.L. wants the rest, their going to have to beat the greatest family of adventurers the world, and probably the multiverse if we’re being honest and yes that includes other versions of this family, has ever known to them first. Sneaking in the shadows, attacking them from behind, striking them while they were at their most vunerable? FOWL was in their element and won this round because of it. But now adventuring, traveling the world, finding rare artifacts lost to time? Now their in the ducks wheelhouse. As Beakly, finally accepting her place in the family and that she’s not alone, proudly states their not ready for them. And so we close on one badass group shot as Dewey tries to lift the sword again only for his siblings to help, minus Louie naturally who still looks on determined. Our heroes have been through their dark night of the soul, they’ve lost a lot and the villians are miles ahead.. but they’ve also come out of it together, determined, their doubts behind them for now, and FOWL firmly in their sights. They won the battle.. but the war’s far from over. Game on.

Final Thoughts.

God this was a good one, as you could probably tell from the way I went on and on about it but this was one of the series best.. and while I say that a lot, mostly because Season 3 has consistently been about them topping themselves again and again, this time it’s etched in stone. I thought this would be a good one but forgetable.. instead it’s easily one of the best dives into the cast, and one of the best bottle episodes i’ve seen, limiting the cast to just our heroes, a handful of cameos and our big bad and letting our heroes be their own worst enemies for most of it. IT’s a great character piece, with plenty of great fluid action set pieces, absolutely heartbreaking character stuff, and a hell of an ending that sets the tone for the final half of the season and possibly the series. It also shut my mouth about the pacing, because as I hoped, much like season 2 it was slow on purpose: The first half, while also providing vital setup here and there, was also about telling stories they really COULDN’T once the FOWL plot kicked into gear for act 2. Getting trapped in a sitcom, a casual breakin of a gala where Donald meets the love of his life, a trip to tokyolk.. none of this would’ve really worked with Fowl at their heels. By taking their time they simply had more time to set the stage so when things kicked up with this act, things could stay intense.. minus the christmas episode but that takes place before these episodes so I don’t really count it. Point is the tone is firmly set, the stakes are high and things are at a level they’ve never been. This is one of the show’s finest and I expect i’ts only going to go higher and higher from here. Also one last note Bradford, bud.. why did you out Gandra as an agent? You had to have known about the whole Fenton thing, you seem to know everything and a break in to Gyro’s lab would’ve been something Scrooge had to tell you about or you could learn about yourself. They didn’t know she was still evil or working for you or that she was even on their radar. Also related while Steelbeak and Blot’s missions were obvious it was easy to figure out who went where besides them: Heron went under the sea both because she was the odd one out and because Bradford was presumably still mad about the helicopter thing, while Rockerduck obviously took the fountain since he’d been there and knew where it was now it was properly restored. Next Week: Kidcentric episode and the sabrewing sisters are back! Also while I don’t hate it, Lena’s blueform is simply a super mode.. phew. I mean I don’t dislike it but i’ts not a walk around in public thing. Point is kids teaming up for shenanigans, a mystic sword in the middle of x of swords AND the return of my two faviorite fowl agents. I’m pumped.

Until then if you like this review there’s more reviews on the pages on my blog including a just finished this weekend review of the original Ducktales 4-parter, Catch as Cash Can. It was a trip. You can find that collected into a handy series of links HEREEEEEEEEEE. Or if you prefer this series, as I do, you can find last week’s review of Let’s Get Dangerous HERE. If you like this review and want to here my thoughts on say an episode from the first two seasons (which I mostly haven’t covered yet), or another disney show, you can pm me on this very blog to comission an episode, just like one of my fans commissioned me to review catch as cash can. Or you can follow me on my patreon HERE. Until next week stay safe, vote if your old enough and check your house for Gary Busey!

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