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hopelikethemoon · 4 years

Text

maybe (Javier x Reader)

shoutout to @baar-ur who asked for this incredibly angsty prompt

Title: maybe Rating: PG-13 (language and allusions to sex) Warning: Lots of language, name-calling, miscommunication, everyone’s an asshole, ANGST, so much angst, pregnant!reader

You had been in a lot of difficult situations throughout the course of your career — shootouts, drug busts, asshole bosses paired with the government’s blind eye towards rampant sexism in the workplace. You had faced a lot of shit, but none of it had prepared you for the fallout of sleeping with your partner.

It all started the weekend after Escobar died. Murphy announced he was heading back to America now that the hunt for Escobar was finished taking both you and Javier by surprise. Escobar hadn’t been the only narcos on the DEA’s radar and you had both anticipated that he’d stay on to go after the next cartel. It was Javier’s idea to have a going away party for Steve, but in the end it was less about the party and more about you and Javi closing out the bar at two in the morning. Murphy and Connie left at a reasonable hour, leaving the two of you to drink your cares away.

Without Murphy there as a buffer, you and Javier were fucked. Literally.

As you stood in your bathroom, staring at your towel-clad reflection in the mirror, the irony wasn’t lost on you. This whole mess had started in a bathroom and now, as you stood with a pregnancy test sitting on your bathroom sink, it was becoming a reality in a bathroom too. Nothing good ever came to fruition in a bathroom.

Just last week, Javier had been bragging with one of the newer agents about having to bang another hooker-informant. What happened between the two of you had meant nothing and with each passing day of awkward glances and short conversations, you realized Murphy had been the glue holding your friendship together.

You and Javier were nothing but partners and fucking him had ruined any chance of being friends. Now a positive pregnancy test would ruin any chance of remaining partners with him.

For a week you debated whether or not you would even tell him. It was none of his business really — you’d be fine if the entire department thought some wayward one night stand had knocked you up. But the guilt of keeping him in the dark eventually ate at you. You had to tell him, regardless of his reaction.

The worst-case scenario would be that he wanted to get reassigned a new partner and given how awkward he’d made things since Murphy’s going away party — you wouldn’t actually be against it. A little distance would probably do you some good.

It was probably a mistake to tell him while he was driving.

He’d actually been in a decent mood as the pair of you set out to stake out the house of one of the cartel members. The whole morning had felt like you were walking through a vivid waking dream. Hell, you hardly even remembered a word your boss had said during the briefing.

You slid into the passenger seat beside Javier and stared at him as he pushed his aviator’s up the bridge of his nose, watching his mouth as he silently sang along to whatever was playing over the car’s grainy radio.

He’d been in a good mood right up until the moment you said—

“I’m pregnant.”

Javier’s foot hit the break a little too harshly at the next red light, his fingers curling tightly around the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white.

“Why are you telling me?”

You pushed your fingers through your hair and stared out the window to your right. “Why do you think I’m telling you?”

He slammed his fist into the center of the steering wheel, the car horn making you nearly jump out of your skin. “Goddammit.” He hissed out as he drove the car down an alley and put it into park.

“I’m keeping it.” You told him quietly. “With or without you.”

He pulled his aviators off and tossed them onto the dashboard. You watched as he dragged his hands over his face, his chest rising and falling with uneven breaths, before he turned his anger in your direction. “Were you going to fucking tell me? It’s been three fucking months since Murphy fucked off back to the states.Three months!”

“I wanted to tell you sooner,” You started, keeping your voice steady. “But I didn’t know how you’d react.” Your brows rose upwards as you met his heated gaze. “You’ve been a real jackass ever since that night. This,” You gestured to the current situation. “is about what I expected.”

“No shit.” Javier snapped. “You should’ve fucking told me sooner.”

“So I could subject myself to this sooner?” You questioned, your own anger boiling to the surface. “I mean, I guess I could’ve pulled you aside last week after you got done telling Tom about the hooker you’d fucked. But that seemed like a bro moment and I didn’t want to interrupt.”

The color seemed to drain out of his face as he stared at you. The silence was more unnerving than his shouting. “You weren’t there when I woke up.”

You swallowed thickly as you held his gaze. “Did you want me to be there? I mean I know you, Javi. I know how you operate.” You shook your head. “I left to spare myself the awkward morning after.”

He sank back against his seat, hitting his head against the headrest twice before he finally found his words. “You can sit there and call me a jackass all you want, but you’ve been a bitch to me ever since that night. I tried. I fucking tried.”

“You tried?” You laughed harshly, shaking your head. “How the fuck did you try, Peña?”

“I brought you coffee.”

You stared at him, your mouth going dry. He had brought you coffee that Monday after. He’d left it sitting on your desk for you. He was already in meetings by the time you rolled into the office, but you had known it was from him. “I thought you were just… I don’t know.” Your shoulders sagged. “I thought it was like an olive branch.”

“I tried to get you to go out with me. You shot me down.”

“When?”

“A week after, maybe two. Fuck if I remember we were swamped with paperwork.” Javier dragged his fingers through his hair, staring out the driver’s side window. “It was late, eight or nine. I asked if you wanted to grab a drink and you laughed at me.”

Your heart clenched as you recalled that precise encounter. “Shit.” You breathed out and covered your face. “I had just puked my guts out in the bathroom. I was just trying to get you out of the office before I puked again.”

Javi let out a near-hysterical laugh as he turned his head to look at you. “I thought you were blowing me off. I gave up then. I figured you’d regretted that night and I had to stop chasing you like a dumbass.”

“I didn’t realize.” You chewed on your bottom lip, feeling a surge of raw emotion come over you. “I hate hormones.” You lamented as you covered your face to hide the tears that were now spilling from your eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“No, baby. Don’t apologize.” Javier drawled out as he reached across the car and squeezed your leg. “I should’ve said something.”

You shook your head, wiping at your tears. “What were you going to say? What was I going to say? We’re both fucking idiots.”

“It’s all gone to shit without Murphy.”

“Yeah.” You said weakly as you sniffed, staring out your window.

Javier kept his hand on your thigh, his fingertips drawing little circles against your pant leg. It was kind of annoying, but you knew he was just trying to be comforting.

“I don’t expect you to be involved.” You finally spoke again. “I wouldn’t blame you. I don’t want or need your money.” You held up your hand when he started to interrupt you. “No one has to ever know who the baby’s father is.”

“Are you going back to the states?”

You shook your head. “I don’t plan to. I’m sure they’ll try to hassle me into going back, but I’m not. I’ll take desk duty if I have to.”

“So you’d just… What?” Javier’s grip on your thigh tightened. “Make me sit across the office from you, watching our kid grow and… pretend it’s not mine? I don’t know what kind of person you think I am, but—”

“You left your highschool sweetheart at the altar, Javi. You’re the kind of man who has one night stands and fucks hookers. You’re the perpetual bachelor and that’s fine.” New anger was brewing in your words. “I respect you enough to not want to ruin your M.O.”

“How many times are you going to throw who I fuck in my face?”

You laughed harshly.

“Are you jealous?” He continued.

“Am I jealous of the women you pay to fuck? No. I can’t say I am.” You stared at him pointedly.

“You broke my goddamn heart when I woke up and you weren’t there.” Javier admitted with a deadly serious tone. “I thought we’d finally figured this out. But instead I woke up alone and confused.”

“You have a heart?” Now you were just being mean for the sake of being mean.

“Fuck you.” He snapped, pulling his hand away from your thigh.

“That’s what got us into this situation.”

“This isn’t a fucking game.” Javier snarled. “I don’t want to just be some deadbeat dad. Do you get that?”

“So you want to be involved?”

“With you.” He raked his fingers over his face, pressing his palms against his eyes as he let out a frustrated sound. “I want to be involved with you. Not just ‘cause you’re knocked up either. You and me? We can figure this out.”

You stared at him like he was speaking a foreign language. You couldn’t believe Javier Peña was admitting that he wanted to be with you. You.

“You don’t have to say that.” You stated. “If this is just because I’m pregnant, if this is some white knight bullshit. I don’t want it, Javi. I don’t want to put myself through it and I damn well don’t want to put our kid through it.”

“For fuck’s sake.” He stared up at the roof of the car. “Am I not making sense? Have I not made it clear enough that I wanted you.”

“But I know how you are, Javi.” You frowned as you stared at him. “You have this whole little life of yours—”

“I’m lonely.” Javier confessed, his voice actually cracking. “So fucking lonely.” He slowly turned to look at you, his dark gaze full of emotion. “I’ve spent the last three months feeling like I’m going crazy. I lost Murphy and then I thought I was losing you.”

“Javi—”

“Don’t, ‘Javi’ me.” He snapped. “Do you want this?”

You stared at him, breathless, for what felt like a small eternity. “Yes.”

His seatbelt snapped against the side of the car as he hastily undid it, surging across the center console. He cupped your cheek, dragging you into a surprisingly gentle kiss that stood in stark contrast with the anger that had flared between you.

Maybe it was a mistake. You were both volatile people, you always had been. Maybe it would end in flames in a week or a month or twenty years down the line. But maybe it wouldn’t. Maybe it would work out. Maybe you and Javi were going to be alright.

#javier pena #javier pena x reader #pedro pascal x reader

617 notes · View notes

kpopfic-recs · 4 years

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♡ bts ships masterlist♡

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(Last update 4/27/20)

Key: Fluff (❀) Angst (☆) Smut (☾) Completed Series (✓) Incomplete Series (✗)

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Jikook

↳ One Shots

And Back Again by novilunar II ☆ ☾

Summary: Jimin wishes he could stay away from Jungkook. (FWB!AU)

Length of story: 3.1k words

Warnings: None

The Good Doctor by snarcsics II ☾

Summary: Jungkook’s your basic sex addict. Troubled, distant, angry, and somewhat cocky, however Jimin suspects that was there long before Jungkook became an addict.

Length of story: 11.4k words

Warnings: Sex addiction

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Taekook

↳ Series

cause when you look like that, never ever wanted to be so bad by centurystorm II ☾ ✓

Summary: The TA for Jungkook’s chemistry class is fine as hell but no way is that why he enjoys chem class. (Lies, all lies). AKA the “oh no you spilled a chemical and now you have to use the emergency lab shower” AU. (College!AU)

Length of story: 2 parts/11.4k words

Warnings: Top!Jungkook, bottom!Taehyung, oral sex, blowjobs, semi public sex, spanking, dirty talk, anal sex, anal fingering, come eating

flowers love the sun by bootaeful II ❀ ☆ ☾ ✓

Summary: Taehyung, a beautiful mortal, had caught the eye of Jungkook, a god. Based on the Greek myth of Apollo and his mortal lover Hyacinthus.

Length of story: 2 parts/12.2k words

Warnings: Blood, death

Preach by bruhnam299 II ☆ ☾ ✓

Summary: It had been of their kingdom’s tradition to have a young lad or lass selected for the princes of the kingdom, for purposes justifiable by the princes themselves. They say that upon selection, you live a life of royalty just as the kings and queens do. Taehyung does not believe this; he knows that his life will be one of a sex slave if he were ever to be selected.

Length of story: 3 parts/12.9k words

Warnings: Top!Jungkook, bottom!Taehyung, dom/sub, anal sex, oral sex

Not My Delivery by winter_taebum II ❀ ☾ ✓

Summary: In which Jungkook believed that the person ringing his doorbell was his best friend Jimin along with the pet cat that he was 'supposed' to adopt. Jungkook was never really a 'cat' kind of person but he was willing to have a go at looking after a new furry playmate. Besides, whether it be cats or dogs, he was an animal lover in general. That being said, what shows up in front of his front door instead was neither of that but a beautiful man with breathtakingly sharp feline features and glowing skin instead..Jungkook stares blankly at the stranger in front of his door and what came next was jaw dropping. "Are you my master?" The beautiful male purrs.

Length of story: 3 parts/19.3k words

Warnings: Top!Jungkook, bottom!Taehyung, praise kink, barebacking, master/pet, anal sex, anal fingering, dry orgasm, orgasm delay/denial

↳ One Shots

You Make Me Ssstutter by hauntedaffair II ❀

Summary: “For here or to go?” Taehyung asked sweetly. “Yes.” Jeongguk blurted.…Fuck my life. Jeongguk could almost cry. Burn me in hellfire right now. Taehyung is a cute barista and Jeongguk experiences multiple mental breakdowns. (Coffee Shop!AU)

Length of story: 1.6k words

Warnings: None

Hate Me, Love Me (Everybody Wants to Kiss Me) by parmajeon II ☾

Summary: Jeon Jeongguk never wanted to kiss someone while knocking the living daylights out of them so badly before. (Or: jeongguk is stuck between saying 'fuck you' and 'fight me' and ends up saying 'fuck me' to taehyung in the middle of a fight). (High School!AU, Enemies to Lovers!AU)

Length of story: 2.7k words

Warnings: Slight smut

Love Is Easy by xsmallathenabug II ❀

Summary: Taehyung accidentally says “I love you” to the guy on the other line while ordering a pizza and gets a “Love you too” followed by a "I hope you’re not expecting a discount on the pizza just cause we confessed our undying love for each other.”

Length of story: 2.9k words

Warnings: None

Badabing-Badaboom (We Should Fall in Love Baby) by bruhnam299 II ❀

Summary: Taehyung is so utterly confused. Jimin is a gym enthusiast (who drags Taehyung to his doom). And Jungkook isn't following up on the latest dating etiquette on how to do feelings (or ask someone out). Like. At all. Yugyeom gets pulled into all of this shit (and remains disloyal 'till the end).

Length of story: 3.1k words

Warnings: Scent kink

Let Me Lie Tangent to Your Curves by parmajeon II ❀

Summary: Taehyung didn't think grocery shopping would be that eventful until he almost gets arrested and finds himself face-to-face with an angel. (Aka the au where Taehyung gets his hand stuck in a car window after trying to carry out a heist and its midnight and hes alone in the parking lot and shit shit shit the owner is approaching and he's super hot??)

Length of story: 3.1k words

Warnings: None

Hit Me Like a Tidal Wave by parmajeon II ❀

Summary: Taehyung is a lifeguard at a beach and Jeongguk is an innocent beach-goer. Cue Jeonguk almost drowning, Taehyung actually drowning, and what should have been mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Length of story: 3.4k words

Warnings: None

Take Me Home by puddlesofme II ❀ ☆

Summary: “It’s the middle of the night and i’m walking home alone in the dark and there’s this guy following me and he’s starting to gain on me and i found this phone booth with a lock on the door and I tried to call my best friend but my hands were shaking so badly I accidentally dialed the wrong number and i don’t even know you but help me” au

Length of story: 4k words

Warnings: None

Until the End of the World by parmajeon II ☆

Summary: Taehyung and Jeongguk are best friends, and that's all they'll ever be. (College!AU)

Length of story: 4.3k words

Warnings: Mentions of sex

Time’s Ticking by parmajeon II ❀ ☾

Summary: Jeongguk might have magic older than time itself, but Taehyung’s tongue works its own kind of magic. (or: the au where jeongguk is literally the fountain of youth and explorer Tae decides he's gotta suck his dick to reap the benefits). (College!AU)

Length of story: 5.2k words

Warnings: None

Date Me by flywithtaetae II ❀ ♡

Summary: Taehyung flirts with the cute high school boy and relishes in the flustered reaction he gets for almost an entire year. But when the following year comes along, he finds himself choking on his own words. (Coffee Shop!AU)

Length of story: 5.4k words

Warnings: None

Snow by gukvee, jeons_v II ❀

Summary: Taehyung is obsessed with snow filters and he bumps into Jeongguk in a grocery store with his face shoved into his mobile phone screen.

Length of story: 6.1k words

Warnings: None

Stuffed Drumsticks and Cotton Candy Kisses by parmajeon II ❀ ☾

Summary: Taehyung is really good at precision-based games and Jeongguk is really good at strength-based games. Together, they amass a terrifying number of prizes before being kicked out of the carnival.

Length of story: 6.5k words

Warnings: Slight smut

Snap Streak (author unknown) II ❀

Summary: "who dat qt boi on ur story?" Aka: in which Kim Taehyung discovers the love of his life on Park Jimin's snapchat story.

Length of story: 7k words

Warnings: Sexual content (not smut)

Melt in Your Mouth (Not in Your Hands) by mindheist II (+ Jimin) ☾

Summary: What happens at a rave stays at a rave—except this one.

Length of story: 7.4k words

Warnings: Mentions of drugs and drinking

The Dawn Before the Sun Rises by internetpistol II ❀

Summary: It all started when Kim Taehyung almost impaled Jeon Jungkook with a pink umbrella. (College!AU)

Length of story: 8.1k words

Warnings: Mentions of sex

We Only Have Red Bull to Thank by parmajeon II ❀ ☆ ☾

Summary: “But lately,” Taehyung’s mind flashes back to the instance where Jeongguk had literally brought them outside when Taehyung suggested they ‘go out.’ “It’s not the same anymore. We’re on two different wavelengths and it’s fucking weird considering most friendships like this are ruined after the two people date, not before one of them even gets to confess.” (Or: 5 times when Taehyung tries to confess and Jeongguk just doesn't get it + the 1 time he does)

Length of story: 8.6k words

Warnings: None

You’re My Type by dom_joonie II ❀

Summary: “Taehyung turns away from the commotion to look up at the blue sky, but before he can tilt his head all the way back a six-pack catches his eye and, of course, everything goes south from there.” In which Taehyung has a crush on the lifeguard of the local pool, and his thirst cannot be contained. Especially not when eye-candy like THAT is walking around.

Length of story: 8.7k words

Warnings: Drinking, sexual/suggestive content

Been There All Night by Bangtanbananas II ☆ ☾

Summary: Taehyung never planned to fall head over heels for Jeon Jungkook but it just sort of...happened. And he didn't realize the extent of his feelings until Park Jimin walked into their lives and ruined everything. Or the lawyer au where Taehyung gets jealous and becomes a petty bitch. (Office!AU, Lawyer!AU)

Length of story: 9.1k words

Warnings: Drinking

Jingle My Bells by parmajeon II ❀

Summary: When Jungkook met Taehyung on the Polar Express, he didn't expect to see him twelve years later on campus yelling, "Santa Watch Team! Please sign up!”

Length of story: 9.4k words

Warnings: None

Drink Up Baby (It’s Poison) (author unknown) II ❀

Summary: Love thy enemy or better yet, make them fall in love with you (Harry Potter!AU).

Length of story: 10.9k words

Warnings: Drinking

If You Love Me, Let Me Go by buttstrife II ☆ ☾

Summary: They’re alone in Jungkook’s bedroom. There’s a song playing faintly from the speakers of Jungkook’s phone. The lyrics go like this: Oh, my heart hurts so good. I love you, babe, so bad, so bad. Taehyung is his love, his best friend, his soulmate – Jungkook is sure of it. Taehyung is a famous actor/model, and Jungkook is one of many who fall for him.

Length of story: 11.5k words

Warnings: Drugs, mentions of drinking, major character death

Hercules by GinForInk II ❀ ☾

Summary: Taehyung forgets his strength kink until Jungkook picks him up during a group project meeting.

Length of story: 11.6k words

Warnings: Implied/referenced homophobia, light masochism

dating for dummies by sugasus II ❀

Summary: In which Twitter is evil, Jeon Jungkook is a bit tsundere, Park Jimin is satan and Kim Taehyung may or may not have a boyfriend.

Length of story: 12k words

Warnings: None

oh, for the love of god by florations II ❀ ☆

Summary: What could go wrong with falling in love with your best friend? Not a lot, to be honest. That happens to people all the time. But what if said best friend is the God of Love and you're the God of Death? Then a lot. A lot of things could go wrong. Or conversely: What the fuck, Jeon Jeongguk.

Length of story: 12.6k words

Warnings: None

maps to you by antiking II ❀

Summary: There is a dick on his face. There is a big, bold dick drawn onto his face in black permanent marker, and though Jungkook scrubs and scrubs and scrubs until his forehead is red, he only succeeds in smudging it around. He pumps a fistful of soap onto the towel and renews his efforts with twice the vigor. He has hagwon later today, and he’d rather step on Legos than go there like this. Maybe, he thinks, pausing for a second to examine the state of the dick, his parents will allow him to skip just this once. Does this count as a medical emergency? Jungkook isn’t sure, but his hands are shaky and the towel is shaky and he’s growing more panicked by the second because it won’t come off. He’s going to die. He’s going to die of public humiliation in front of everyone, and then he’s going to come back to life and kill his soulmate, because who the fuck draws a dick on their forehead knowing full well that it’ll show up on someone else, too? (Soulmate!AU, College!AU)

Length of story: 13.1k words

Warnings: Suggestive content

Let Me Hear You Scream by parmejeon II (+ Yoonmin) ❀

Summary: “We both rode as singles on this giant roller coaster and I didn’t realize how afraid of heights I really was and you don’t seem scared so please let me hold your hand for emotional support.”

Length of story: 13.1k words

Warnings: Suggestive content

you’re my earth (the center of my day) by taetastic II ❀ ☆ ☾

Summary: He likes watching the colors dance in Taehyung's wings when they catch on the light of the sunrise, and the golden glow of his fingers when he brushes them over flowers and plants. (Fantasy!AU, Werewolf!AU, Fairy!AU).

Length of story: 14.3k words

Warnings: Blood, violence, death

Get Me Out Of My Mind (Get You Out Of Those Clothes) by taekookmusings II ❀ ☆ ☾

Summary: Taehyung never thought he'd fall in love with his roommate. Then again, he never thought his roommate would have been a literal gift from god either. (College!AU)

Length of story: 15.8k words

Warnings: Drinking

Let My Body Do The Work by seikou II ☆ ☾

Summary: Seriously, this is agonizing. He didn’t ask for this. His goal isn’t this and yet he finds himself moving his arms to Jungkook’s prompting and misery really loves Taehyung’s company. Gym is frustrating. (College!AU)

Length of story: 17.2k words

Warnings: None

I was told there’d be cookies by mintsoda II ❀

Summary: “Taehyung, this is a very special present I have here,’ Namjoon holds it up for Taehyung to see and Taehyung blinks at it, bottom lip jutted out a little, 'I would like you to deliver it for me. Could you do that for me, Taehyungie?' 'Really? Me? It's my turn finally?' he asks a little too fast, taking the box out of Namjoon's hands to observe it carefully but with a pinch of curiosity. 'What's in there?' 'It's something very important, please be careful with it. It’s for a young man called Jeon Jungkook. It’s a special gift, something really, really precious, you see?" When Christmas elf Taehyung accompanies Santa to the human world on his first ever present shower – Santa forgets to take Taehyung back home with him. Luckily for him, his first present delivery is for aspiring baseball player Jeon Jungkook who, as he finds out, must have had a very peculiar Christmas wish: milk and Taehyung's favourite cookies. (Elf!AU)

Length of story: 18.1k words

Warnings: None

Toads and Periwinkle by Kavbj II ❀ ☾ ♡

Summary: Jungkook’s kinda cursed (like really cursed) and Taehyung’s kinda a witch (like really not a great one but he tries).

Length of story: 18.2k words

Warnings: None

Body Ache by lethallergic II ☆ ☾

Summary: If you listen closely, there are two boys connected so deeply their hearts beat as one. (Or the one where Taehyung desperately needs an accompanist and Jungkook appears to be his only option.) (

Length of story: 18.8k words

Warnings: Smoking

Here Fishy Fishy by Kavbj II ❀ ☆ ☾ ♡

Summary: Taehyung's a real fish out of water (no like, for real) and Jungkook just saved him from drowning. (College!AU, Merman!AU)

Length of story: 21.5k words

Warnings: None

Shark in the Water by mindheist II ❀ ♡

Summary: As far as fairy tales go, this one doesn’t have a lot of fairies. Tales, yes. Tails, that is. Just the one. One (1) tail.

Length of story: 30.6k words

Warnings: Mentions of drinking, suggestive content

Frooty Loopy (author unknown) II ❀ ☾ ♡

Summary: "We both reached for the last box of Froot Loops and I don't care that we're both adults I will fight you.” In which Taehyung fights Jungkook to the death for a box of artificially flavored and colored loops.

Length of story: 31k words

Warnings: Mentions of smoking/drugs, drinking

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Vmin

↳ One Shots

Friends Won’t Let Friends be Sexually Frustrated by staycute1234 II ☾

Summary: Jimin runs into Jungkook on the basketball courts, the younger male leaving him in a sexually frustrated mess. Thankfully his roommate, Taehyung, helps him out. (College!AU)

Length of story: 3k words

Warnings: None

In The Same Boat by pornographicpenguin II ☾

Summary: "You want to what?" "Dock," Jimin says. Taehyung blinks. "You mean like...with a boat?"

Length of story: 3.8k words

Warnings: Docking

call me (whenever you want me) by jhopeg II ❀ ☆ ☾

Summary: Jimin should’ve known that mixing alcohol with his feelings was never a good idea. Because he sure as hell didn’t need to accidentally call a guy (whose voice was incredibly hot) offering sex to him. Over the phone. (College!AU, FWB!AU).

Length of story: 23.3k words

Warnings: Drinking, top!tae, bottom!jimin

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Yoonmin

↳ One Shots

assembly required (author unknown) II ❀

Summary: "It's like 3am and I'm exhausted and I can hear you raging next door about failing to put together an Ikea bed so here I am helping you and holy shit you're cute.” (College!AU)

Length of story: 3.9k words

Warnings: None

Movie Night by sungmin II (+ Taehyung) ☾

Summary: "Maybe we could try messing with one of the other members." He can almost hear Jimin's ears perk up. "What do you mean? Like a prank?" "No," Yoongi says, "I mean like mess around with one of them. You know, fluster him. Make him sweat a little at the very least."

Length of story: 4.5k words

Warnings: None

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

Taegi

↳ Series

Brownies? (author unknown) II ❀ ☾ ✓

Summary: There was an unspoken rule in the music industry, never accept food from fans. So it was no surprise to Min Yoongi when he saw Kim Taehyung happily accepting just that. Or: Taehyung eats poisoned food that gives him fox ears and a tail and Yoongi has a good time.

Length of story: 2 parts/16.9k words

Warnings: Fox hybrid!Taehyung, hand jobs, blow jobs, rimming, praise kink, top!Yoongi, bottom!Taehyung, hyung kink (slight), anal fingering, anal sex, cum play, butt plugs, cum swallowing, masturbation

↳ One Shots

First Time at the Rodeo by parmejeon II ❀

Summary: Yoongi doesn't like loud and obnoxious people. Or people at all, actually. Enter Kim Taehyung with wide pants and a smile that could rival the sun's.

Length of story: 1.3k words

Warnings: None

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

Namkook

↳ Series

The Curse of Curves by snotboy II ☾ ✓

Summary: An explanation as to why Jungkook had a boner during the Billboard video.

Length of story: 2 parts/2.8k words

Warnings: None

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

Vhope

↳ One Shots

Truth or Dare (Cause I double dare you) by 2kitsune II ☾

Summary: Hoseok and Taehyung are forced to kiss, again. “So, you want to do a friend with benefits kind of thing?” Hoseok asks. “No,” Taehyung starts, eyes firmly stuck on the single window they have in their room. “We’ll just be friends who occasionally kiss,” He pauses, and his gaze flicks back to Hoseok, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips. “If that’s okay with you.”

Length of story: 7.3k words

Warnings: None

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

Namjin

↳ One Shots

Bet You Won’t by Iridescentpulse II ❀ ☾

Summary: Seokjin choked on the rice he was trying to eat, eyes wide and the tips of his ears burning. He turned his startled gaze toward Taehyung, who just sat grinning at his friend struggling to breathe. Jimin quickly handed him his own drink, and after a few gulps, his throat was clear, but his brain struggled to grasp what the younger man had just said - "I'm sorry, could you run that by me again?" “I dare you to take a selfie while having sex with Namjoon." Taehyung dares Seokjin to take a selfie while having sex with Namjoon, and the group chat ends up getting more than it bargained for. (College!AU)

Length of story: 2.9k words

Warnings: None

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

Multiple Members

↳ One Shots

go all day, go all night (i’m a beast) by sungmin II (Jimin, Taehyung, Yoongi & Hoseok) ☾

Summary: It’s safe to say that Jimin is a bit of an exhibitionist.

Length of story: 10.2k words

Warnings: Foursome, food kink, asphyxiation.

#bts #bts fic #bts fluff #bts smut #jikook #taekook #vmin #yoonmin #namjin #vhope #namkook #taegi #jimin #taehyung #suga #yoongi #namjoon #rm #jin #seokjin #jungkook #jhope #hoseok

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theartoflivingalways · 4 years

Text

i’ve been awake for over 24 hours

I haven’t been on tumblr in years. i stopped using it after high school, but I don’t know why. but now I’m back tonight, because I needed someone to talk to, but I have no one to listen. i have friends, i have family, i have a boyfriend. i have a therapist. but no matter what: i feel so unheard, so unseen, and so ignored by everyone in my life that i literally feel like i have no one to truly turn to. for anything. so, here i am. hope i get a warm welcome!!!

here’s the thing: i’m NOT a depressed person. i’m not sad, i don’t have any major mental health issues apart from anxiety and some adhd. and before you take that the wrong way, please don’t. i just got my master’s degree in social work and i’ll be starting my new job as a therapist in a couple of weeks.

but, i’m also NOT a happy person. tbh, i can’t really describe my overall ~mood~ or whatever you wanna call it. i kinda just wake up and survive the day, every day. i take it one day at a time ... kinda like what AA says to do; but no, before you ask or the thought crosses your mind, i’m not an addict. at least not a alcohol/other drugs addict ??? sorry

maybe this is why there’s no one to listen when i need them to. i fucking ramble about literally nothing before getting to the point.

it’s weird that i’m writing right now (ok, typing???). i haven’t done this since i was little. it feels good to do this, to have some sort of outlet when you feel so fucking unseen and unheard by every. single. person. around you.

so i haven’t slept in over 24 hours. it’s my own fault for sure and i have adderall to thank for that (yes i’m prescribed). i decided to start a blog again because i’m sitting here, still wide awake in my apartment, alone, while my boyfriend is sound asleep in my bedroom.

so what’s my fucking problem??? why do i want someone to talk to?? i don’t know honestly. i just feel like lately all i do is listen to others, help others, give myself completely to others. and in return, i get nothing. nothing even close to what i give, or to what i’m capable of giving. which is sad. not for me particularly (maybe?), but for others, yes, i think so.

i’m not saying that i expect anything in return for helping others, because i don’t. i didn’t enter the field of social work for the fucking money. and i know a lot of fucked up shit is going on in the world right now, and in no way do i want to minimize ANY of that. i’m just feeling a little lost and lonely, so i’m hoping this is a new outlet for me to sort out those feelings.

the last couple of hours, i’ve had a LONG string of thoughts. if you read through, you’ll eventually found out how they started. but one of the things i’ve been wrestling with in my mind is the type of person i am.

you see, it’s difficult to be “that” person for others your whole life, especially all the fucking time. if you’re anything like me, you know what i mean by that. and if you aren’t anything like me, well, first of all congrats!!!!, and secondly, i’ll explain what i mean.

when you’re “that” person for others, like myself, it’s easy for other people to walk all over you. take advantage of you, take you for granted, expect you to ALWAYS be there no matter the cost. and of course, why wouldn’t they? you’re always there to help. you’re ALWAYS there to offer support, guidance, and advice. you’re nurturing. you listen. you’re a fucking irreplaceable, loyal to death friend. if you’re VERY much like me, you’re also the one person in your family who isn’t a total fuck up (at least not publicly?)

you’re also nonjudgmental, and you were blessed with the curse of being empathic towards others at all times. empathy of course is beautiful and a very good thing to have in this life, but do you know how hard it is to feel for every single person around you.. and not have anyone feel for you???? damn

also, you never let anyone down!! ever. you’re reliable, dependable, trustworthy to the point where it’s almost sketchy because like??? who can be that way to everyone else at all times? you guessed it- people like me and people like u!! (if this is even semi-relatable, i’m sorry)

but people like us, like you, like me, tend to do this thing where we keep the same shitty fucking toxic people around that have hurt us, continue to hurt us both indirectly and directly, and who have let us down time and time again, because we continue clinging on to the fucking useless hope that “someday they’ll change”. someday, they’ll realize how fucking important you are to them and how shitty their lives are, and would be, without you in it.

you- we - also live by honesty and truthfulness, and assume others just live by this as well. but then you’re proved wrong over and over and over again, yet you never fucking learn your lesson because you are STILL hopeful that somewhere, somehow, deep down, other people DO stand by the morals you try so hard to stand by in life. most of the time, though, you’re completely avoiding the reality of other people and their experiences and who they really are, only to try to fit your own narrative of how you see things and how you think things should be.

if this sounds anything like you... i’m sorry. i know it all too well.

i grew up as the “golden child” in my family. not just my immediate family. my entire fucking family. the pressure to be perfect has lead me to develop debilitating anxiety in my 20′s, and it is what it is, but like, why the fuck couldn’t i have anxiety in high school like a normal teenager? why now?

so yeah my anxiety’s pretty bad. it’s pretty bad tonight, which is why i turned here. to tumblr. to try to write out my thoughts. which, by the way, i’m sorry, because this is an absolute fucking mess and makes no sense. if you are reading this, though, thank you. thank you for listening when no one else seems to.

anyway. growing up with the pressure of being *perfect* has a cost. at least for me it did: 1) anxiety of course, and 2) perfectionist tendencies. these have literally- LITERALLY - ruined my entire college and graduate school experience. perfectionism combined with anxiety is a recipe for fucking disaster, and i’ve been cooking it for years.

i am deliberately writing this without proper punctuation/grammer/whateverthefuckyouwanttocallit, not capitalizing my letters etc., because i want to not have to be so perfect all the time on here, if this is something i’m going to stick to. i know that sounds silly but it’s actually been very difficult for me to write in all lower-caps and i’m very worried that no one will even read this and HEAR ME because of my literacy negligence (i have no idea if that’s even a real thing or if it even has meaning but it sounded right)

do u want to know why i decided to write this though, truly? what lead to me feeling like i’m “spiraling” - apart from no sleep in over 24 hours now? well, get ready to laugh, because i truly think i’m pathetic and going crazy.

i went to dinner tonight with my boyfriend and his fam. our waitress was a girl i used to know years ago in high school. my boyfriend knew her too. in fact, he knew her VeRY well. for the sake of my anxious overthinking, i don’t feel like going too much into the details of *that* situation, so thanks in advance for understanding.

anyway. this corny bitch made a joke about the current political environment. i won’t say what exactly, because i’d really like to keep my identity as concealed as absolutely possible on here. but long story short, no one really laughed - every one just kinda smiled awkwardly. but you know who did laugh? my boyfriend :)

TO ME, it seemed intentional. she wasn’t fucking funny, for one. she made a bad - no, a very bad- joke. like one of those corny dad jokes. not even a dad joke actually. a step-dad joke, except your step-dad is a loser that you hate, who treats ur mom/dad bad, has no sense of humor or a horrible sense of humor and idk, just fucking sucks you know ???

sorry that got kinda dark and it was unnecessary but do u know what i mean??? and no, that was literally not relevant to me or my family system/structure in any way. just kinda came to me, ya know? ...writing works in mysterious ways man

alright so if you don’t agree, that’s fine. i already told you to get ready to laugh, because i am well aware of how insane i fucking sound. but you know what makes anxiety & perfectionism 100x harder to cope with? insecurities. and i’m FULL of them.

so anyway. we left dinner. him & i were driving home. i will admit that i did have some wine at dinner, and i wasn’t drunk but i definitely was feeling cocky enough to stir the pot with him. so, i casually said, “hey... didn’t you date _____?” *insert annoying waitress’s name who i knew once upon a time*

i said it very calmly. very coooool. v collected and nice. he said “no? i’ve never even talked to or hungout with that girl”.

i wish u could see my face as i’m writing this right now bc i cannnot. like i gave u a choice.... the opportunity. tHE SIMPLE opportunity - a chance - to be fucking honest................................

this dude. straight up. lied to my face. about this fucking girl. ???????

YEARS AGO, they most certainly did talk. a lot. in fact, my crAZy ass searched their names on facebook to find their old little love notes to each other that they posted on each others’ walls. which were very cringey but nothing that made me feel jealous or insecure (for once). after all, they were from years ago- i’m talking 5+ - so likeeee.... why would he lie (:

oh and they definitely did hang out because.... i remember clearly.... a PICTURE OF THE two of them *together* *hangin* (prob bangin too) (sorry) years ago in this now-waitress’s bedroom. i believe it was a ~webcam photo~ that they took on the new mac computer her parents prob bought her. so this photo is now NO WHERE to be found. and believe me, i looked. no, i LURKED. i went to the beginnnning of her instagram posts and deep into her uploaded facebook pictures. ok, not ‘deep’, i literally got to the first pic she ever posted on FB just to try to find this damn picture. and it took me for. fucking. ever. because this bitch has prolly posted a million pictures in the last 5+ years like who does that???

but i swear to fucking whatever the fuck that this picture exists. i have fucking seen it. i’d describe it in perfect detail right now as if i saw it today, but, once again, i’m concealin my identity, yo, so i can’t do all that. v sorry

anywho. this dude - who i call my boyfriend (and yes i love him very very much and our past is absolutely fucked but that’s a whole other story for a very different time) - had the nerve, the audacity, to tell me to my face, that he “definitely doesn’t have a picture with her” because “they’ve never hung out or talked before” ... ?!??????

obv i sent him screenshots of the dirt i dug up on facebook from 5+ years ago (i.e., the old posts between them in case ya forgot during my rambling) bc like, caught ya in a lie sir. red handed.

i might be late on mentioning this part, but here’s the fucking kicker (and i’ve never used that phrase and i don’t know why i said that but ok?): TODAY, for the first time in MONTHS, literally!!!, bc of the virus and the quarantine and all that, i got ready today for dinner with his family. like actually got ready. i spent HOURS doing my make up. i don’t even remember the last time i did my make up, ok. i dressed in a really cute outfit. i felt fucking very good about myself. i thought for sure when he’d come pick me up to go to dinner he’d at least say something. at least acknowledge it. he has literally only seen me in raw form for too many days now. like, complete bare face and sweat pants basically every day since march.

but. did he even look at me twice?!!? no. did he mention anything about how i looked? how it was drastically different from my everyday attire the last couple months? did he take 2 seconds out of his day to say something corny or flirty to me? even just, “you look beautiful”??? honestly i would’ve even appreciated, “you look beautiful, for once” ???

did u guess the correct answer? well if u didn’t, it’s N O.

but u know who he did look at twice.

our waitress at dinner.

i think i wrote enough for one night. if u think this is my anxiety/perfectionism/insecurities combination spiraling out of control after being tamed incessantly for 20+ years, PLZ TELL ME.

but also, if you have a fucking brain, you’d know that:

1) this is definitely NOT the first time i’ve responded to something like this the way i did, and

2) i really just needed to ramble on and vent about all the shit that’s been going through my mind the last 2 1/2 hours, so there’s that.

have a good night get some sleep!!! thank u for ur time.

#why #me #cantsleep #upfor24hours #adderall #waitress #insecure #perfect #anxiety #sorry #helpme #help #needsleep #dontwanttotho #goodnight #getsomerest #ily #thanku

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louu-7 · 4 years

Text

everything i don’t know

on wattpad

CHAPTER 8:

I’m sitting here since maybe half an hour, Sarah came once, to see what happened, but I said that she had to go with the others to enjoy and let me deal with it. I have no idea of what is the solution to these issues, I don’t know if I should stay or come back home, and I don’t know if my Dad’s meant what he said or if it just was to hurt me and make me come back.

I didn’t know words could hurt that much, but I guess I’ll experience even worse in the future, it’s called life, and it’s not supposed to be easy… I mean, for some person everything’s perfect, and beautiful, and kind, but, who’s really believing in this kind of life? Because I gave up for a long time now.

I stopped crying, and I realized I was fucking ridiculous, and stronger than that. Well, I thought that I was stronger than that but I’m weak. “Eh, what happened?” Kie’s voice surprise me as I look at her out of the corner of my eye, incapable of fainting a smile. “Nothing, just enjoy the party, that’s... it doesn’t matter.”

“Girl did you see you? You look like a zombie, I’m not joking.” She laughs a little and sits next to me, putting her hand on my shoulder. “C’mon, what’s wrong?”

“My father, he just wants me to come back, that’s nothing, I’m just ridiculous as fuck right now. I swear I’m not childish I just lost my… my composure.”

“That’s OK, I don’t think you’re a kid, not as much as these guys over there at least, because they’re the craziest kids I know.”

We smile as our eyes sweep the water, with the sun reflection, and the little moves that makes the marsh shine. That’s really relaxing to be here while thinking about my shitty existence. “If you’re not comin’ back home then come with us, you’ll have fun and think about somethin’ else, get up.”

She stands up and takes my hands to encourage me to stand up at my turn, but I raise hesitantly my shoulders. I can’t stop thinking about this situation, I don’t think they can understand how my father can be… scary and just so… cold, even with his own family. “No, I-”

“Thara, you clearly don’t deserve to stay here alone OK, get up and c’mon, let’s have fun!” She smiles at me and I sigh, before standing up under her support. We join the others and I try to keep a smile on my face, even if my eyes are betraying me. “What happen, I though you just were on a call?” John B asks, quit concerned.

“Don’t worry that’s, hum, that’s nothing, just enjoy today. I’m sorry, for the phone, it ruined everything.”

“Nah, it could’ve happen to anyone of you, that’s OK.”

We sit here all and talk while eating a lot of cake, then we put a little bit of music, and the girls are doing an amazing duo when it comes to dance. I never been a good dancer, so I’m just staying here, looking at them both, beaming and smiling to life. Whereas I can’t enjoy, even if I tried.

The stress is just filling me when I starts to think of the conversation I’ll have with my Dad tonight, I’m scared that he completely lock me up, I’m not ready to stop hanging out with these people that I already love for the most part.

The girls are taking me away from my thoughts when they both take one of my hand to make me dance with them. After a while dancing, with the boys running everywhere and screaming the lyrics, and 2:30pm past, we all decide to change and get onto the boat. I send a message to Alyssa where I’m completely beginning her to say to Dad that I came home and that I come back in two hours maximum.

She responds quickly and my heart melt at the second where I read it.

"i do it just bc i love u and i don't want dad to yell at u, but if u wanna hang out b more careful, i'm not onna b able to have ur back everytime. enjoy and b at home in an hour and a half, mom's comin back sooner, love u"

I smile and put back my phone in my back pocket as the boat starts. We continue to have fun and I feel like I finally have a normal life. Pope and John B grab their respective girlfriends and throw them in the water before jumping into it with their clothes on. The smile on my face widen and I sit, looking at them with sparkling eyes and happiness running in my body.

“JJ c’mon bro, the water’s good, Thara, jump!” John B shouts out before Sarah and Kie drown him, laughing at his face when he comes back to the surface. “Guys, come on why aren’t you have a bath it’s John B’s day, let’s enjoy!” Kie looks at JJ and me as I frown and raise my shoulders. “Maybe later, I-”

“No you’re comin’ right now, sorry for you.” John B’s coming and gets back on the boat to grab me, but I stand up and back up, looking at him smiling and determined to put me into the water. “I know it’s your birthday but I’m not in the mood I got some problems and-”

“I don’t care it’s my birthday, just forget your problems.”

“It’s not that easy, if it was I knew it.” I laugh and the border of the boat stop me from back up more. “Aren’t you a little stuck?” He raises his eyebrows and at the moment where I try to run away he catches me and throws me over the boat.

A scream escapes from my mouth and I dive, coming back to the surface as soon as I can and show him my middle finger. “Man it’s the second time, when are you gonna leave me alone?” I laugh and he raises again his shoulders as an answer.

I’m home, my mother’s just came back and I didn’t have the time to shower so lets pray, because if she smells the scent of the salt water on my hair I’m dead. We’re in front of the TV with Alyssa when she comes into the room and looks at me nastily. “I apologized, I’m sorry, no need to look at me-”

“Stop.” I grit my teeth a she continues to stare at me like I was nothing. “Please stop because you have no idea what Dad said to me, I think now I understand how I’m the shame of the family.”

“Whatever he told you, you certainly deserved it young girl. You can’t get out of this house, is it clear?”

“Yes, just leave me alone, your all always on my back and I’m tired of-”

“Don’t speak to me like that Thara, I am not responsible of your acts, you wanna be treated like an adult so be an adult, don’t behave like a capricious five years-old girl.”

I don’t respond and let her talk, I don’t want to be arrogant or disrespectful towards her, but with Dad they’re way to harsh on me lately, for nothing. “I hope you enjoyed your little trip because it’ll be the last one before a long time.”

“Yeah, it was pretty cool. Cooler than everything I did with you at least. I must go, I have things to do. Good night.” I stand up and walk to the stairs under the cold look of my dear mother. “Because you don’t eat tonight?”

“No, the call of Dad put me off the food, enjoy the meal without your ridiculous and naive little girl, you’ll be chilled, just the four of you without me.”

I join my room and sigh as I press my back over the door. I don’t know why but every time I’m arguing my heartbeats are so quick that I can barely breath…

My mind suddenly make me think about the gun that I saw in my Dad’s office the other day. I let myself slide against the door and the fact that to have a gun in my house is certainly not a good thing hit me. Why do he owns a fucking gun? Did he killed people? Is it only to protect us?

And, what are they so close to? What could I mess up? All this questions are invading my mind, and I start to imagine a whole bunch of horrible things they could do. Are they really at the head of a vineyard or is it something else? Like a drug network. Oh my God, no, that’s not possible. Is this like, a quest to find someone? And are they killing people who knows to much or who don’t know anything?

Are Isaac and Alyssa aware of this damn secret? No, Aly would talk to me about it, I’m almost sure of it. But what if Isaac is in, and not Alyssa because they know that I’m closer to her than to Isaac?

The whole thing is saying that they’re fucking scared of me or of what I could do. And it’s obvious, I’m rejected of everything, they all can go outside, so maybe they’re meeting somewhere to talk about drug, or about a dark business like killing people for money, or anything else.

I wince and a feeling of being sick is taking me, as I feel more and more sickened by all this thing. I don’t have any proof, except the gun, and this conversation, but I need to know more about this thing that they’re hiding from me.

It’s later in the evening, I had a shower and finished my book, but I have to admit my stomach hurts so bad, the lack of food in my body’s gonna killing me if I don’t eat anything before sleep, so I decided to go to the kitchen.

The thing is, on my way I heard voices in my Dad’s office, and I’m actually listening to a conversation between my whole family, without me. Everything’s OK. I can’t hear everything but it’s so weird, they’re talking about some gold and places where it could be hiding at the moment. Neither my family’s completely crazy nor I’m off beam. “We’re really close, I think we’re on the right path.”

Be on the right path for what? This “gold”. I can’t believe that shit, there’s no gold on this island, nothing. I sigh, tired of waiting in front of the door since forever, and go to the kitchen to get me some food. The chocolate catch my eyes but I hold myself back and pick a fruit smoothie and some pancakes.

The door’s opening and the voices get louder. They’re pretty good actors though, I’d never though they were hiding something big from me.

“What are you doing here this late?”

“Hi, Dad, how are you since our little call? I hope it felt good to insult me and unleashed your anger at me.”

“Don’t start to get on my nerves and go to sleep.”

“Yeah, because I’m ridiculous, I play the perfect little girl. Or maybe the coward, I don’t remember.”

“Thara please, I got a long day.”

“Oh, me too. At least I have friends to talk to, we’re not all lonely as fuck.” I don’t bat an eye and he loudly sigh as I walk next to him.” Good night, daddy.

Maybe sometimes they’ll understand what I want them to understand, in other word that I want to be treated like Isaac and Alyssa, not like a little capricious girl. I’m not this kind of person but they keep on pretending I am in front of everyone. Anyway I come back to my room and eat my snack before putting myself under my sheets and fall asleep like a baby.

Footsteps don’t stop to resonate since an eternity and even if I managed to fall back asleep three times this night with these sounds and my Dad’s voice, I’m not gonna do it a fourth time. I get up, the floor is freezing my whole body as I slowly walk to my door to open it and glance over the corridor. Nothing. He’s downstairs, fuck…

I walk like a zombie to join the stairs but the front door’s opening make me stop, even step back a little not to be seen. What the hell… Two men are coming in as my Dad’s welcoming them discreetly, they talk a little, whispering, and I can’t hear anything from where I am.

Their loud footsteps make me think they’re joining the living room, or the kitchen, and they start to talk aloud. Who are they? And what the fuck are they talking about at 4pm… I sit on the first step of the stairs and listen with attention their conversation.

The gold again, what’s the point? Is really there some million dollars hiding somewhere on the island? No way, that’s just not possible, not in our world. We’re not in a movie.

“Thara, what are you doing here?”

hii! sorry for the little waiting, i finally saw my family bc lockdown is over in France, i took a lil bit of time for me. this chapter's not good but i worked a lot on the plot lately, a lot of thing's gonna happen soon, at least i hope ^^

i hope everything's good for you, i hope your family's good too and, yeah, love uu thank u to read me, byye!

#outerbanks #pogue #kook #secret #johnb #pope heyward #jj maybank #sarah cameron #kiara carrera #mystery #gold

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fae-fucker · 5 years

Text

Zenith: Chapter 45-48

Chapter 45

Nor is floating in a super sci-fi space carriage over the last remaining “wealthy” city on Xen Ptera, which is apparently so garbage only a few people have roofs over their heads. She thinks about how much she loves her people and how she’s doing this for them, except she purposefully floats just out of reach of their poor-people hands and throws food and “med kits” at them so they’ll follow.

Darai is very confused by this, because Shinsay desperately need Nor to seem complex and intelligent. She compares her people to an [incidental space animal] she got from her father as a child.

“I fed it,” she explained. “Give a pet food, Darai, and it will do anything to stay by your side. Starve it or beat it, and it will begin to fear your very existence, only coming out of hiding in the moments when you have something to give and it to take.”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

[...]

“The people of Xen Ptera are my responsibility now. But more than that, they are my soldiers, and I wish for them to follow me always. No matter how dark the path I choose to walk upon.”

Yes, this makes so much sense. First you let your people starve and get radiation poisoning, but then you throw scraps at their feet and obviously peasants are food-motivated like kittens and will absolutely do as you say.

Except this doesn’t make any fucking sense for many, many reasons.

1) Darai complains about the fact that these rations are used for scientists and soldiers. Which he’s right about. If Nor has an army and scientists, those people tend to be far more useful in, say, a war, than a bunch of mutated and starving peasants.

2) I dunno if Shinsay have read any history ever, but when large masses of people get hungry, they don’t just sit there, they turn on the few people in power who still have food and resources. These peasants would turn on Nor the moment someone else provided better food. I’m just saying that Nor’s neck accessory wouldn’t be a spiked collar but a guillotine.

3) Don’t you have that Zenith stuff? The stuff that can make people into brainwashed robots with a single drop? Release that shit into the atmosphere and save your food and “med kits” for the few actually crucial people who need it.

3.5) If you’re only going to use it on enemies to convert them, why bother with your people in the first place? Despite what Nor is claiming, her “love” for her people is token at best and her priority lies in revenge, not recovery.

4) Also it’s so transparent that they only wrote this to make Nor look smart, because they purposefully made Darai into an idiot who doesn’t understand basic concepts when he previously was written as an older, intelligent advisor.

Nor arrives at the old palace ruins and it’s all very sad and angsty, complete with special Backstory Flowers that used to Bloom but Don’t Anymore because the Environment got Too Tragic, and flashbacks to that time her hand and also her dad were crushed under rubble. We find out that the crowd gathered here are just “thousands” of people, and Nor refers to them as her “army.” Okay.

Nor gets stage fright when the crowd is silent and doesn’t instantly love her because she has the confidence of a highschooler asking someone out to prom, and decides to snap her golden hand off to prove to her people that she’s “their equal,” which works for some reason even though the narration acknowledges it as a lie.

Obviously starving people seeing this LITERALLY GOLDEN woman who just shat out a bunch of free food from her floating carriage will definitely 100% swallow her little speech about how they have to take revenge. Even the mothers holding up their starving infants! We all know people who are starving want revenge before a sandwich. The blood of my enemies? I call it vengeance ketchup.

She shows Zenith to the crowd which they totally understand what it is right away from afar and how it works and what it has to do with literally anything.

“Remember, Xen Pterrans, and never forget, that even the stars can bleed!”

The royal entourage pack up and Nor says she wants a crown forged for herself because “every queen needs one” and:

“I want to wear it while we feast on the galaxy’s bones.”

Cool.

Chapter 46

We’re in Lira’s POV while she’s doing what she does best: moping off on her own. I guess she’s not very special in that regard. She’s thinking about how she loves to fly because the sky has no limits and the ground is confusing. Aight.

The gang seems to have gotten off without any punishment for crashing into a village and are now staying at the very center of power of Adhira, this mountain palace called Rhymore. It’s very pretty and yadda yadda, I skipped 90% of the description because literally whomst careth.

One important detail to keep in mind is that we find out varillium, the glass-like substance that the Marauder is made of is, like M. Night Shyamalan’s movie starring Bruce Willis, unbreakable. You know, which is why they need those metal shields around the damn thing. Thanks guys, this makes total sense.

Lira looks into an “eyeglass” and sees literally all of Adhira like a tiny map. Either Shinsay are confused about what a telescope does, or they’re flat-earthers. And yeah, she literally sees cities, waterfalls, rainforests, deserts ... This is after we’ve established she’s in a mountainous area.

All the descriptions read like screensavers and are just as relevant to the story so I’ll just skip them.

Lira is ambushed by her twin brother Lon, who is the owner of that sarcastic soul we’ve heard so much about.

He was at least a head taller than her now, his pale blue arms rippling with muscle, spreading up into a thick neck and strong shoulders.

This description bothers me and I don’t know why.

The conversation quickly turns all mopey and Lon says Lira has abandoned her people and himself, to which she replies she was only protecting him from WHAT SHE’S BECOME (wake me up inside). We then get a random infodump about how the Adhiran queen is super great and loving and a perfect leader. Not perfect enough to abdicate the throne but I don’t think Shinsay thought that far. Monarchy good if monarchs good, obviously.

Lon is all “ur still my sister until the mountain falls uwu” and Lira is like “omg stop guilt-tripping meee” and we’re informed there’s gonna be a “peace festival” soon that celebrates the end of the war against Xen Ptera. How convenient that their ship would randomly malfunction right before this event. :)

Lira says she wants to tell him only the good stuff of what’s happened while she was away and says that she’s been using Moon Chew, which is Bad for Reasons, and she knows Lon uses it too but keeps it a secret from the queen aka their aunt. Lon asks about what “led” Lira to using it and I’m just baffled by the fact that we still don’t know what the fuck Moon Chew is or what it does, and why, if it’s something so terrible that one must be “led” to using it, they’re talking about it like it’s some unhealthy fast food their aunt frowns upon and not, say, a drug?

Anyway, Lira tells him of their adventures and it sounds way more interesting than anything we’ve read so far. Then we get this:

Lon always knew that Lira harbored a darkness in her soul. A little tug, a tiny whisper at the back of her mind, that led her to go above and beyond the pranks that Lon had always pulled while they were growing up here.

She’d fallen, not for a lover, but for the skies. For adventure.

She’d found a ship full of girls with their own affinity for darkness to mirror her own.

So I recently found out that there’s supposedly an “asexual” alien in the crew of the Marauder, and that member is apparently Lira. I think this idea is reinforced by the “fallen but not for a lover” line.

Framing her wanting to explore the world on her own and go her own way, comparing it to falling in love but not with another person but with a concept, as a darkness in her soul?

Not a good look.

Anyway, Lon decides after all this time that apparently Lira was always meant to fly and tells her that her aunt wants to see her.

This is plot?

Chapter 47

We’re in Valen’s POV. He wakes up and is in pain but not enough to avoid noticing that he’s in a fluffy bed and outside there is [insert generic description of pretty place here] and it’s so pretty he could never paint it, because he’s a painter and he can’t relate anything in his life to anything but painting.

The Adhiran queen is there and she’s very pretty. She asks him about the last thing he remembers, which is Nor, and it sends him into a ... flashback? Basically he starts freaking out that this isn’t real and they sedate him again and the last thing he sees is

[...] Androma Racella leaning forward from the shadows across the room, half of her face aglow as sunlight spilled across her skin like paint.

You know, because he’s a painter!

Chapter 48

We’re back with Lira, who starts the second chapter like she started the previous one, complaining about how being planetside is the worst. Yep, we get it. It’s the worst. Cuz she’s a pilot.

Painters be painting. Pilots be piloting. If your characters don’t constantly refer back to their one defining characteristic, how will be able to tell them apart?

Anywho, Lira finally gets to the queen.

Alara was beautiful in every sense of the word, inside and out. She had a lithe frame, perfectly proportioned, and no scales on her skin.

PERFECTLY PROPORTIONED

What in the everloving fuck does that even mean? :’) Probably just means she’s skinny.

And of course she has no scales, only evil people and/or “morally grey” people can have imperfections. How do we know someone is good unless they have flawless skin?

Lira had always admired Alara’s beauty, but it paled in comparison to the woman’s intelligence.

Shinsay, slapping us all with a big purple dildo: THIS IS FEMINISM.

“She’s absolutely good and perfect and INTELLIGENT because women don’t have to be pretty to be smart and we totes value things other than beauty, but let us constantly describe how absolutely fucking DICK-OUT-HOT this Generic Good Queen is, in case you ever doubted it.”

👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌

And, yeah, Nor is also described as hot, but like, evil hot. Sexualized and sexual and dangerous and GASP OMG SHE HAS A GOLD HAND. GGQ straight up glows, that’s how good she is.

Generic Good Queen addresses Lira as “Lirana” which, yeah, ok, and we get this:

“I’ve just had a rather unfortunate conversation with Valen Cortas, the poor, tortured soul, so spare me whatever dramatic greeting you must have prepared.”

You know what? Maybe Generic Good Queen ain’t so bad after all.

YOU TELL HER, GGQ.

#eff reads: zenith

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