#i will never root for someone who’s verbally abusive
Note
if you don't mind can i ask for your take on civilian s/o and yandere makarov? i wonder how he behave around an s/o who's like the opposite of him (like they're kind, gentle and has not known violence ever). hcs or short scenario or anything depends on you i don't mind (there's a drought of makarov content tbh 😮💨).
thanks for considering this and please take your time. have a good day 😚.
”Love”
Cw: manipulation, obsessive behaviour, delusions of love, humain training, forceful taking, verbal abuse, tell me if I missed any.
Makarov doesn’t love. He knew how to, but he never truly did. He couldn’t with the heart and mind he grew up cultivating, to build his empire and strength, dwindling his heart’s empathy. Ironically, such ignorance towards love only increased his obsession, the amount of it that would only climb higher and higher, because in a sense, the loss of such emotions lead to a loss of a limit, driving him to insane lengths to achieve what he had his mind on.
He only knew death and bloodshed, the destruction of the mundane and corruption of the innocent, being the source of the rot and decay in the cells of a flower, to make it wilt and dust. Perhaps that’s where his interest in the normal stemmed, that curiosity that would someday bloom into obsession. He searched for an object of obsession, something - someone - to put all this attention on, something tangible, solid under his hands and malleable to his intentions. Despite his lack of time to dawdle, to spend on meaningless affairs, he found the perfect subject, someone so starkly different from him and his world.
There was a dichotomy in Makarov’s world, the harshness of war, battle and conquering of countries, and the deceptive softness in his eyes, the gentle touch of his scarred and calloused hands, and the coo with his sly tongue. You were the only softness in his life, a civilian he -one day - decided to pick up from the streets, bright-eyed and innocent to the horror he saw and spear-headed. Your tired eyes untouched by his mind and your scarless body free of any conflict that he could start with a simple wave of his hand.
There’s a need in his mind to see this innocence wilt away, to pry your mind of any autonomy and freedom you’ve lived with. Makarov wanted a doll, something soft and precious he could corrupt with words and ruin with his hands, deceptively gentle and loving, a poem spilling from a cruel smirk and eyes gleaming darkly. He has his ways to turn you into a thing of his imagination, to make you into his willing Russian doll, layer over layer of maliciousness and subservience.
He’s a man of culture, letting the people under him do all the dirty work. Despite all the viciousness and madness in his being, he doesn’t hit, he doesn’t abuse the object of his obsession, that was reserved for men lower than him, poor and mindless men. Rather, he preferred manipulation, well-thought words used in right situation to have you crawling back to him for safety, protection and comfort. He wanted you to come to him on your own, to make your pliant and uncaring of the wider view. He, after all, took you for himself, to endure himself in a second source of power.
Makarov has a silver tongue, whispering words into your ears that take root, your doubts and fears growing in the depth of your heart, bringing you closer to the man who promised to protect you. His fingers wiping away your tearful cheeks, pearly gems rolling down your cheek as he teases you about being worried. You shouldn’t be so fearful with him beside you, he’s your warden, your all-powerful and dependable lover.
He won’t let a shred of suspicion towards him fester, it’ll be dealt with swiftly with the call of your name, breaking down your vulnerable mind and building it back up in his image, his opinions were yours, his thoughts were yours, his goals were yours. So much so that you were his, knowing fundamentally that whatever he said goes.
”мой маленький цветок,” he mumbled, pressing his lips against yours, hands soft but wandering, laying down chains over your waist, around your dainty wrists and tightening the collar around your neck, keeping the hold on your mind, “You did so well, I’m proud of you.”
Positive reinforcement. He often used positive reinforcement to deepen his hold, to sink his teeth into your clean soul. Sweetened words with a voice he taught you to crave and possessive touches of bloody hands with intentions that he blinded you of, finding a way to make you want them.
“What do you say?” His hand traveled up your jaw, featherlight fingers cradling your ear and cheek until it stopped under your chin, tilting your head to look at his narrowed eyes, proud and dark.
“Thank you, Vladimir.”
He smiled, a thin-lipped grin.
Taglist: @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @bvxygriimes @distracteddragoness @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @konigsblog @havoc973 @im-making-an-effort @daisychainsinknots @0alk0msan @danielle143 @dont-mind-me-just-existing-sadly @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @kaelysia
#x reader#cod mw2#cod mw2 x reader#mw3 makarov#cod makarov#call of duty makarov#makarov#vladimir makarov#vladimir makarov x reader#makarov x reader#makarov x you#vladimir makarov cod#vladimir makarov x you#dark fic#tw: manipulation#tw: abuse#dead dove do not eat
490 notes
·
View notes
Note
The main reason I usually default to lesbian Chloe is because her interest in guys often seems extremely artificial and performative.
Its like if a guy performs traditional masculinity so intently that it ends up coming off as insincere. The same sort of thing tends to apply to Chloe with my reads.
Especially because her rather awkward, both too extreme, and yet very at a distance 'flirting' attempts on guys can be contrasted against her much more affectionate manner with Ladybug. Which seems to lack the same sort of language, both verbal and body, that comes out with guys.
Plus there's the fact she only ever seems to express an aesthetic appreciation (Luka), a weirdly oscillating mix of formality and performative gestures at a distant target (Ali), or otherwise seems to 'pursue' a guy who is seemingly profoundly disinterested, (Adrien).
Plus like, I tend to assume that if she wanted Adrien as a boyfriend she probably could have swung that before school was even a thing. She was literally his only friend and company, the idea she never even tried seems odd if she was truly super interesting.
Plus, when fear regarding her relationship with Adrien comes up its rooted in the friendship over a potentially lost lover. The times she does lean on the idea of Adrien being her BF, tend to be more implied and usually used for a bit of social clout before being forgotten just as quickly.
It all really adds to the feeling her interest is, either consciously or subconsciously performative. More about playing a role than it is something she's genuine about.
Oh yeah absolutely!
Chloé's supposed romantic interests are in like. Safe people. Adrien is her friend and she wouldn't mind marrying him but she knows he won't return any feelings like that. While she has connections to be able to meet various celebrities, from popular-but-quickly-irrelevant idols like XY or someone genuinely influential like Ali, they're also not really people that there's hope for a proper relationship with, so they're also 'safe' for her to show interest in.
I think the thing about Chloé's seeming to be a lesbian is mostly in the way that she repeats her parents' relationship dynamic with her most obvious relationships: Sabrina and Ladybug.
Sabrina is the more obvious one because here, Chloé is playing Audrey while Sabrina plays Andre. The demanding, the devotion, the verbal abuse mixed in with genuine affection, the cold shoulder when she does something 'wrong', etc.
With Ladybug, it flips. Chloé is fawning. She's doing anything and everything to please Ladybug. To make her like her. And falls into despair when she 'fails'.
These are things she doesn't really do with the males she's showing affection with.
95 notes
·
View notes
Text
ASTEROID NOTES ☠️
READ BEFORE YOU PROCEED: These notes are about some very serious topics so you should NOT read this if you are sensitive. Butthurt comments will be removed since you have been warned. Please dont read this post if you are under 18.
⚠️🔞TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of eating disorders, sex, abuse & trauma.
Sado(118230) conjunct Mercury can make a person very verbally abusive. This is the kind of person who knows exactly what to say to hurt you. They pick up on peoples insecurities very quickly. Can say something just to get a reaction out of someone. If they have a lot of Neptune and Venus in their chart they will mostly gossip behind peoples back but if they have Mars dominance they will be more straighforward.
Asteroid Paine(5188) shows what kind of pain you will suffer in your life. Paine conjunct Mars is physical pain, might have been a victim of assault or physical bullying. Paine conjunct Moon is one of the most painful ones. This person might have been a victim of a lot of emotional abuse in their childhood.
If you have Lilith in the 4th house your mother might sabotage you because she wants to keep you close to her. There are people with this placement who still lives at home in their 40s(nothing wrong with that ofc) and their mothers made it so that they will never be independent. This can sometimes be because the mother is lonely and uses the Lilith kid as her friend and confidant. The mother might abuse you to submission.
Excalibur(9499) conjunct personal planets gives a strong sense of self importance and if its conjunct the Moon this wont be seen by others. Because the person might not act arrogant outwardly but they have a deep rooted sense of self importance that can blow up if they are not treated as special. If this asteroid is conjunct Ascendant this will be seen by others. If this asteroid is also conjunct asteroid Medea(212) they will make anyone who doesnt treat them as important suffer the consequences.
People with Lilith in the 8th house be prepared to be accused and suspected for a lot of nasty stuff only because of your aura. But dont lose yourself, YOU know who you are.
People with Madhatter(6735) conjunct Midheaven might have been publicly accused for stuff they didnt do. And were made to suffer horrible punishment by society. Might have a reputation for doing something they didnt do.
If you see a person with Sado(118230) conjunct North Node in their natal chart be careful. Because anything conjunct North Node is a life theme.
Ive seen people with asteroid Ohno(5180) and asteroid Hazard(9305) conjunct Ascendant be people who created a lot of issues for anyone who got close to them.
Asteroid Lie(26955) conjunct Moon or in the 4th house is someone who had to learn how to lie in childhood, making them an extremely good liar in adulthood.
Maniac(228029) conjunct Ascendant,Sun or Moon can struggle a lot with mental health and people might see them as a maniac because of lack of understanding.
I found Moon & Ceres(1) aspecting Pluto to be the most common aspects for people suffering from an eating disorder. Also Lilith 2nd house.
Asteroid Split(12512) conjunct Mercury can be hard to live with because the is a split to the personality, thought process and mentality. One part of them says ”save that money for hard times” and the other part says ”spend it on unnecessary shit!”
Lilith in the 2nd house can give a self esteem so low that they start to self destruct to the point of being a danger to themselves. Especially in the form of illegal activity and unprotected sex. The hatred these people can feel towards their bodies is intense. And most times its because people have been abusing them and obsessing over their looks out of envy, and they listened and let the hate get to them.
Lilith in the 3rd house (if afflicted) might enjoy lying and playing mindgames to feel superior or just for fun. They got a really good imagination.
Lilith in the 11th house can signify someone who has been horribly victimized by a group of people. 11th house rules groups of people. For example Pamela Anderson who got this placement and she was gangr*ped as a teen.
Child(4580) in the 8th house or conjunct Lilith can mean you were seen as sexual and noticed by disgusting people as a child. In worst case can indicate abuse.
Be careful with making any deals with someone who got Swindle(8690) conjunct personal planets. This asteroid conjunct Mercury is someone who can talk anyone into anything.
I also saw Child(4580) conjunct Neptune and Lilith in the 1st house in a chart of a woman who was in a relationship with MUCH older men and she sounded and looked like a child. They admitted on the show(true crime) of being mesmerized by her young looks and young voice.
Ceres(1) Square Pluto can create an obsession with the body so much so that the person is afraid to show themselves naked or in tight clothes. There could also be a fixation with nutrition. Sometimes it can become so extreme they might even hate their body.
After watching a true crime show I looked at the chart of someone involved in a murder. She got someone else to do the murder for her but she was the mastermind behind it and got away with it. She got Fortuna(19) conjunct Pluto and Mars. The day of the murder transit Fortuna was conjunct her natal Ascendant indicating she was extremely lucky and would get away with whatever she did that day.
Memoria(1247) conjunct Nessus(7066) is an aspect Ive seen in a person who often lies to others about what happened. Might be a gaslighter. Will tell you that you did something you never did. She abuse people by using their bad memory.
BOOK AN ASTEROID READING ➞ PRICES
©️ 2023 Zeldas Notes
615 notes
·
View notes
Text
HOW TO REDUCE MALADAPTIVE DREAMING.
(suggestion post)
I have actually experienced this since the age of around 9 or 10 years and only managed to reduce and basically almost get rid of it after 5 or 6 years.
I am no doctor or professional, so all of this is just by experience mixed with online research.
WHAT IS MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING?
Maladaptive daydreaming is a mental health issue that causes a person to lose themselves in complex daydreams. These daydreams are usually a coping mechanism for other mental health conditions or circumstances. It's common — but not required — for people who have this to have a history of childhood trauma or abuse.
SYMPTOMS:
Extensive, sometimes compulsive, absorption in fantasy for several hours a day
Inability to stop daydreaming
Having very detailed fantasies, including plot lines and characters
Having real-life reactions to fantasies, like facial expressions, body movements, or verbalizations
Difficulty concentrating or focusing on other things
Sleep problems (especially falling asleep)
Replacing human interaction
The urge to continue fantasizing when interrupted
In some cases, maladaptive daydreaming can also be characterized by the need for additional stimulation, which can be expressed through extensive book-reading, watching films, or gaming.
TRIGGERS:
some of the triggers may include listening to music on headphones, watching movies, and hearing specific conversation topics.
In addition to processing trauma, other causes of maladaptive daydreaming include:
Wish fulfillment
Entertainment (regulating boredom or isolation)
Regulating distress
MY EXPERIENCE:
I would spend hours upon hours with storylines that I have had for years. Those stories gave me comfort and I would get lost in the experience of daydreaming. I would even put on music to put myself deeper in my thoughts and would get irritated if someone ruined my thought process by speaking to me.
I realised it was a problem when I began to randomly fall into my daydreams without much control. Simple thinking turned into detailed storylines and I would constantly seem lost in thought and lose track of time. This obviously isn't helpful when you have important things to do when you need to focus. I would try to stop daydreaming but would always catch myself doing it because it become normal to me. All the characters and scenarios in my head represented me parts of me that I wish I was in real life, or even things I wanted to happen in my life. Sometimes the dreams happened so frequently that I couldn't differentiate between my memories and dreams.
Before I acknowledged it as a problem I never actually wanted to get rid of it, such a big part of me would be lost. I had been daydreaming for such a long time that I became emotionally attached to the characters I had made.
WHAT HELPED ME:
Doing things that take up a lot of brain power and time:
e.g. Doing a workout, Dancing, or Solving a difficult equation.
This gives you 0 time to even think about anything, let alone daydream. Go out with your friends, and force yourself into situations that require you to use your full attention. Because I never really went out much or did anything frequent enough to take up my day, I had too much time to myself and became stuck in my own head. Doing things and picking up extracurriculars, ANYTHING will help.
Because I am no longer at home as much as I used to and interact/learn new skills much more than I did before. I simply do not have time to be in my own head, I forced myself to learn to get out of my head and achieve the things I would daydream about.
I am now engaging in improving myself instead of dreaming about the version of myself/life I wanted so badly. Those dreams and characters were just glamorised versions of deep-rooted emotions I had left without facing them. Uncovering the true meaning of why I daydream and the details of the things I was daydreaming about will help you get out of the daze.
NOTES I'VE FOUND ON QUORA:
ONE:
Open up. Speak about it to others. Express yourself. There is nothing to be ashamed of. You need not share your daydreams, just share that you daydream. It's okay.
Write your daydreams down, or type them out… whatever. Get them out of you to have a better look. They are trying to tell you something about yourself. Have you ever noticed that you can't completely control your daydreams? And when you do try to change something critical in your plot it just doesn't “feel right”?
Boil them down to mere feelings. Strip away all the illusory layers of good looks, grand mansions, heroic acts and so on. The truth lies in key moments where the characters feel something deeply for each other. Find those feelings, and question the difference between you and your characters. Ask what is blocking you from experiencing them for yourself.
Realize that you are the reality, not your characters. If you imagine a nobleman or a beautiful girl, it is your nobility and beauty that you impart to those. All your characters are merely objects animated by the light of your imagination and feelings.
Understand that all your daydreams have nothing to do with others, and everything to do with you, and your relationship with yourself. When you realize this, you stop comparing them with your real-world relationships and start relating them to various aspects of yourself.
Know that when you successfully come out of this, you will actually not lose the ability to daydream or run out of feelings to pour into your imagination. It is just that their purpose will have been served, and you will not resort to daydreaming again out of lack or compulsion. You may at any point daydream again and even use it as a tool to know what your Soul is trying to tell you. Yet, you will realize that a moment of self-awareness is more rewarding than a lifetime of daydreams.
TWO:
Here are some serious tips to avoid them:
First of all, make sure you really want to get rid of this, because a lot of MDers get emotionally attached to their imaginary characters.
Disable /avoid the triggers. Block YouTube if you have to. Those websites you visit. The images saved on your computer - delete them. Plenty of apps for that.
This might be rude, but start avoiding the topics or the friends who keep discussing these topics.
Get busy doing something else - take up a hobby, meet new people. Try to stay in public places or with other people. Plenty to do in life other than dreaming.
Avoid that one music/ song that acts as a trigger.
DO I STILL MD?
Yea sometimes, but now It is an okay amount. It doesn't consume my life anymore.
#self improvement#maladaptive daydreaming#self growth#self help#self healing#self care#self awareness
83 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello. I’m very like your blog. It’s very interested to read. English is not my first language so if I accidentally write something wrong the meaning or some words wrong the pronunciation, please forgive for my mistake.
I’m wondering if you can please do like the Uppermoons accidentally hurt their female human reader who is the love of their life. Like they’re having an argument with the reader and they accidentally hurt their reader feeling or their self-esteem or attack their reader, not on purpose (maybe) and their reader dislike that so they just leaving them.
And in one night, the Uppermoons just go in their reader house as usual to find them but they’re not there and the Uppermoons just couldn’t find them anywhere by that.
It’s a pleasure for me to know that you gladly to it and once again. I’m very love your blog, it’s very interested to read it :]
I'm glad you are liking my posts, I'm sorry this took so long to come out, also I excluded Hantengu's main body because I didn't know how to add him to this prompt. I hope you like it.
Also, I wanted to add Nakime but she would not fir in the prompt, both in saying something hurtful to someone she actually cares about and, most importantly, letting you leave 🥲 I need to write a One-Shot of her with how little I know how to add her in things 😭 Hantengu main Body is also not here for that same reason.
Uppermoons (minus Hantengu main body & Nakime) hurt Female Human Reader and she leaves
Warnings: Manga spoilers, Sad endings,Toxic relationships, Verbal abuse, Excesive use of violence and Threads of death to reader.
Gyutaro (ft. Daki):
"I'M TELLING YOU HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU MORE THAN HE LOVES ME! HE IS MY ONII-CHAN! YOU ARE JUST A WEAK UGLY HUMAN! HE WILL LIVE WITHOUT YOU WEEL ENOUGH SOONER OR LATER NO MATTER WHAT!" Daki doesn't like you, you knew that from the start, she alwaya tries to get in between you and Gyutaro. You have tried telling him that she is constantly being awful to you, but besides telling her to be nicer, he doesn't do anything. He doesn't scold her, punish her or even take your side on the argument.
You have had enough, you don't even remember your exact words, but you told Daki off. You called her a brat, a bitch, a parasyte and said worthless and useless somewhere in between, that is what you remember, and the next thing you knew Daki started crying. That was enough for Gyutaro to show up and start comforting her, giving you the nasty eye. "What did you expect me to do? Just stand there while being insulted? You never defend me!" But Gyutaro is not taking it. "FUCK OFF! NE!"
He faces you, angry. "You think you can compete with her?! Ne? Insult her?! My sister is worth more than ten times what you and your worthless species are!" He didn't even look regretful after telling you that and... it hurt, it hurt a lot, knowing that he thinks that of you and... you already figured out you were only second to Daki, and being told that... "FINE! GO FUCK YOURSELF, YOU UGLY PRICK! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN NOT TO WASTE MY TIME WITH THE LIKES OF YOU!" And you leave, not planing in coming back, Gyutaro knows that, so he won't look for you. He will only stop Daki from hurting you one last time, but besides that? It's over.
Gyokko:
He says a lot of hurtful things when he gets upset, sometimes he says those things even when he is happy or bored. He doesn't like to hold his tongue, but he adores inflicting pain on others. Sometimes it's not even on purpose, he just has already rooted into his brain that.. well, you are a human, he is Upper 5. There is a difference, he is superior, in his mind, and can't comprehend why he would hide that thoughts. It's not that he constantly reminds you how he feels, it just casually comes up, but it still hurts.
You don't even remember what it was this time, you are probably mixing memories and if someone asked you to repeat what he said, you would not be able to do it, you just starting packing up your things and leaving. You can stay in a close inn, but you are not taking his crap a single more day. When he goes to your home, he finds it alone. "Mn? She left? How come she didn't tell me! Bet the stupid human forgot." It took him a few days for him to realize you left for good.
"That little BITCH! WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS!" He destroys your home, angry, his pride being more hurt than him, but that is still unacceptable. "The next time I see her, SHE DIES!"
Sekido:
Sekido says a lot of mean things when he is angry, and he is always angry. This is not the first time he calls you names, even if you were ok by this at first, it was general stuff like "little shit" or "woman", nothing really offensive in your book, but then... then the names became more personal. He started using personal information. The talk of the folk, your parents dissapointments, your ex's words, anything that would get under your skin. All of that because he is angry, and feeling the need of taking it out or something or someone.
"You know what?! I'm done! Get out!" He looks at you as if you were the one who offended him, as you were the problem. "Excuse me?" You don't want to hear it. "I SAID GET OUT! OUT OF MY HOUSE! LEAVE!" You start throwing things, desperate for him to leave, screaming, almost crying, as you feel your eyes hurt. After a while, he is gone... you have some minutes to relax... more or least. You breath harshly, trying to calm down, knowing he will return sooner or later. That is when you decide to grab your things and leave, go somewhere else.
By the time Sekido is back, you are gone... and he starts yo trash out your home. Everything is thrown, burned, ripped... your home... "Fuck her! If she wants to leave then that's her deal! Fucking useless human!" Sooner or later another clone will come to calm him down, but he won't be able to control himself the next time he sees you. You will be dead by then.
Karaku:
Karaku is not particulary hurtful, even if he is not careful with his words (unless he wants something), but he is nice, not good, but nice. Sometimes he makes jokes that might or might not be funny, it really depends. Again, he is not sensoring himself, so dark jokes might be offensive sometimes, specially considering his attitude towards humans. Sometimes it makes you feel.. a bit less, the way he talks about other humans around you, as if you and your kind where pigs or dogs.
Your have told him before, and he always says he will stop.... he never does. "Man, it's like they are all wanting to die. I mean, can you imagine running TOWARDS your natural predator? Only humans. I wonder how they got so far being so dumb.." He laughs and something inside you snaps, you look at him and know you can't continue like this. You don't say anything, just leave. Karaku doesn't follow you. You get home and pack your things, you need some space and safety, so you decide to spend some nights with someone close.
When he goes to your home, looking for you, you're gone. He looks for you inside, repeating several times the same places. He also looked in some odd places like the bathtub, under the bed and the wardrobe. Nothing. He went to look for you again the next night, and the next, and the next. The fourth night he got bored and decided to look for something else to do. He will move on.
Urogi:
Urogi hurts you a lot, but it's all physical and accidentally. You didn't think him able to use something intimate against you, but he did. You know you won't be getting an apology, he won't understand what he did was wrong. Come to think about it, there is a lot of harm he doesn't understand as hurtful. You were just remembering what he told you, trying to joke but only being offensive.
You thought about it, several time, if he did it once he can do it again, he will do it again. Also... is this how you want to spend the rest of your life? Trying to educate your partner? Is that what you want, girl? No. Not really, so, you decided to stop thinking about it and leave. You pack your things and leave over day, when he is away, and won't be able to follow you. You go somewhere else, staying with someone for a while, but you are not dtanding it any longer.
"Y/N! I'm back!" But you are already gone. He looks for you in the house to decide to wait for you, not understanding where you left or why. He waits in your house for days and nights, like a dog waiting for his owner. He really doesn't know why you are gone, but still thinks you might return if he waits. In the end the rest of the clones have to take him forcefully out of your housez destroying part of it in the process. Karaku says Urogi will heal with time, that he will forget you if they find him someone else. So they start looking.
Aizetsu:
Aizetsu is hurtful when he wants to be and only when he wants to be. It's cold, calculated, deep and meaningful. He can't help itz the fact that, that sadder, the most rooted is inside him. He barely does, but he knows how to make others sad, just like he is the sorrow clone. He doesn't like it, but sometimes... sometimes he just want others to feels as sad as they make him, even if it's not their fault, just his very nature as clone.
"Honestly, stop acting as if I couldn't kill you in a snap, don't forget you are just a sad human. Don't patronize me." Said one day he was feeling tired, tried to evade you but you kept following, trying to urge him to talk to you. You both stayed quiet a seconds before you leave, making him sigh. He is there when you start packing up your things, he can hear you, even if you think you are quiet. He knows you intend to go and not return.
And he does nothing about it. He doesn't even say goodbye or watch you leave, only sits and take pity on both. He is the sorrow clone, so the sadness of you leaving doesn't chsnge anything on him. He will move on, but for now he will mourn.
Akaza:
Akaza cares, you know that he does. Part of you feels guilty by this sense of hurt and betrayal when he hasn't done anything. He has never even glanced at other women, talked about others, Akaza is nothing but devoted to you, always ready to comfort, to nurture you. Then why you feel as if he is emotionally cheating on you? There is no other woman, but part of you knows... you ARE the other woman. And it hurts.
He loves you, but you can tell there is someone else he loves more, someone he misses and couldn't be with. You sometimes feel as you are nothing but a replacement. You try to comfort yourself, Akaza also comforts you when you feel bad, assuring you that there is no other woman, that he doesn't meet with anyone else. It's odd, because he is saying the truth, but at the same time.... "Koyuki." He said her name one day instead of yours, and that was all you needed.
"Y/N. Y/N! Please! I'm sorry! I don't know what came to me!" He apologies, almost crying, as you pack up, clearly wanting to stop you but afraid of hurting you if he touches you. You don't listen, you pack your things, only talking to him at the door. "It's over, Akaza. Don't follow me." And he obeys, he just stays there, crying for another missing love.
Douma:
Douma is... it's complicated, he really doesn't know better, because he doesn't know pain the same way you do. He doesn't know that pain... it's bad, you can't even start to comprehend how he doesn't understand that people don't like to be hurt, when he is above pain, sickness and death? When he can't feel anything. That is actually a big insecurity in the relationship, the fact that a traitorous voice in the back of your head reminds your "He can't feel anything, not even love towards you".
You have no idea why you did it, why you thought it was a good idea to ask, to voice out your insecurities... "Douma, what do you think about me? How do you feel for me?" but you did, and it was a mistake. He looks at you a few seconds, only to laught a bit. "Honestly? You are a bit interesting, nothing too much impressive, but I do enjoy being with you. I will make sure to eat you once I have got enough of you, though. I bet you will taste wonderful."
He probably thought he was complimenting you, but you didn't feel it that way. You felt unsafe and hurt, so you decided to leave when he wasn't looking in plain daylight. Douma doesn't look for you, but... if some night, when he is out to kill boredom and time, he finds you... the you will die.
Kokushibou:
Kokushibou ignores you, a lot. He also talks very little. Most part of the relationship you feel it as one-sided, you always have to reach out and even there you feel like you are not appreciated. Sometimes he even ignores you or look at you as if you did something wrong just by greeting him, as if you were annoying, a burden. You have tried to tell him, but as always, it seems to fall on deaf ears. This is not going to last, you know that.
All it took it was one time of him voicing ip this feelinsg instead of giving you a side-eye for you to have enough. "Would you stop bothering me, woman? I want to concentrate." And that was it, after the silent months, you had your limit. You went back home and packed your things to stay with a friend, you need to be with someone that shows care towards you. That is what you tell yourself.
After a month of you not going after him, Kokushibou decides to look after you. Then he finds you are not home, at first he worries, but seeing some of your things missings, he knows you did your choice. It's not his problem anymore then, so he leaves and never comes back. All with the same silence as always.
#demon slayer#kny#upper moons#kny x reader#karaku#urogi#aizetsu#sekido#gyutaro#daki#gyokko#nakime#akaza#douma#kokushibou#female reader
58 notes
·
View notes
Text
(Sun and Moon Show Rant #3: Poor Eclipse (AND WTF SUN AND MOON?!))
Wow, since my last rant, it has been proven that Ruin is indeed up to no good but his reasoning I had was partially proven to be correct and I never got to even post that theory here so I'm sobbing... (Not as hard as Solar's death made me sob LMAO). Also, Moon apologized to him and I loved that!
ANYWAY, ON TO THE ACTUAL RANT
Last time I was going on about how I didn't like Moon's treatment of Ruin during the arc where they were looking for who made Eclipse (before he was proven guilty, I mean). Well his treatment of ECLIPSE is even worse! I should've also been going "POOR ECLIPSE!"
But, like, seriously man...poor Eclipse. Like actually. I get that he did some bad things about two lives ago and that he's very prickly and snarky but, like, Sun and Moon's family (except for Earth and Solar) have proven to not be the better people during this arc!
When given the opportunity to prove that they are above Eclipse, they've immediately taken the plunge to show they are lower than what you'd come to expect of them. Sun, who was starting to actually have an arc where he realized how screwed up it was to kill others and how he wanted to redeem others, told Eclipse to kill himself! Since waking up Eclipse has only, what, kidnapped Ruin and forced Solar and Moon to do a puzzle? Oh, and he has said a few salty things, though those aren't worth mentioning since none of what he has said to anyone has been as bad as telling someone to off themselves. They also mentioned hoping he'd killed himself when he had been caught in Ruin's little trap.
He's constantly being told that nobody loves him and the world would be better off with him dead. The people telling him this are supposed to be the people we're rooting for...but every time they interact with Eclipse I find myself wishing he'd stand up for himself and not take the verbal as well as physical abuse (on Moon and Lunar's behalf with the shocking and killing things) that he has been given.
Everyone has proven that they are no morally superior than he is. He hates them because of a grudge he has and they hate them because of a grudge they have. He has acted on his grudge in the past and they didn't like it much and constantly pointed out how evil it was but now they are doing the exact same thing! It feels like they are now the villains and he is the hero. Heck, he even pointed them in the right direction that could've saved Solar and Moon treated him like dogshit for believing it was him in the first place!
Moon felt guilt when he found out that all this happened due to Old Moon abandoning Eclipse in his eyes and he was even going to apologize to Eclipse but he told him to kill himself in today's episode so he must not feel that bad about it.
On the bright side of things: Only Earth treats Eclipse with kindness. feel like this will be important to Eclipse's redemption arc. She is kind to him and feels sorry for the things he's been subjected to and the fact he is all alone. She doesn't hate him or wish him harm and I think he's warming up to her slowly, realizing she truly is different from the others (even in his own words!). I really, truly hope she is going to become an important part of his redemption arc.
I would like there to be a scene where Earth catches wind of the things people say to Eclipse and just loses it. I mean she is very emotionally vulnerable at the moment and she seems to be on the verge of snapping and shouting at someone. She was distraught when she saw Lunar kill Eclipse and admitted that she felt a sense of closure when he came back to life and she got to see him in person again. I feel like she'd not be pleased to hear that people have been telling this guy to kill himself when he has simply been nothing more than a harmless, spicy dude hanging around this arc. This, coupled with the fact she actually lost someone, makes me feel like she wouldn't have it if she heard someone tell Eclipse these things or even hear someone say "nobody loves you" as an insult when he's just there!
He has died a few times now. His last death was one of the most painful ways someone in this series has gone...and he came back to life immediately with the memory. His death before that was actually him trying to warn Sun and Moon of the dangers of Lunar and the Astral Bodies and he had been tricked. It had been the one time he'd tried helping someone and he paid the ultimate price because he couldn't get them to trust him due to his snarky personality still being prevalent.
He has suffered so much this arc and even Lunar's trauma can't compare anymore. He killed and hit Lunar, right? Well, Lunar electrocuted him to death and admitted he fantasized about killing him. He made others dislike Sun and Moon and somewhat contributed to the death of Old Moon, right? Well, he has died twice since then and now everyone hates him and tells him the world would be better off without him. He was also used as a pawn to distract them because their hatred of him was so strong that Ruin knew he could use their hatred as a distraction.
His simple existence now causes people to verbally abuse him in heinous ways. He can't just stand somewhere without someone being absolutely awful. Yet he never loses his temper or uses the magic he was given against them. He just says some snarky things and brushes off their words. What he did in the past was bad but he didn't exactly intend on returning and he's just stuck here. People can deal with it as they will but them saying to kill himself doesn't make them better than him, that's for sure.
Thankfully, Earth treats him like a person. She's the only one who does. I really, really hope that this is important for his arc. I hope they have more interactions and I hope he can actually become closer to her. It's wishful thinking on my behalf to think that she will witness him being verbally abused and step in but you never know. She knows he feels abandoned as well.
I also theorize he's bringing back Solar. I might save that for another post. If he does, I hope it makes everyone realize that he has changed and that they were out of line with the things he said. I really hope they do realize that they have mistreated him as bad (if not worse) than he has mistreated them, especially Moon in particular, who knows he feels abandoned by his former self.
This leads me to something that I'll save for another rant but Moon keeps feeling guilty for things and then repeats them without thinking about it after. Like, he says he feels bad for how his past self abandoned Eclipse or he feels bad for how he keeps being a dick to others but he keeps mistreating them. So uhh yeah.
19 notes
·
View notes
Note
Any tips for dealing with anger rumination? Of all the ways in which autism complicates my emotional life, this is far and away the hardest part. When someone has wronged me, I obsess about it like it's my job, and I can hold a grudge that will outlast the heat death of the universe. I try to redirect my thoughts away from whatever I'm angry about, but it only works in the short term, and modalities that are supposed to encourage catharsis seem to only make me angrier in the long term. What do I do? This is debilitating.
Are you coping with or currently living in a situation that is fundamentally unjust and upsetting?
I ask because I have noticed that my anger and tendency to hold onto small resentments was far greater when I was in a life situation that was also more unfair and enraging. I displaced a lot of the anger I was feeling about my living situation and stress about money (and the resentment I felt about having a partner who was not contributing to finances) onto every other possible outlet in the world. I'd get into all kinds of online spats, self-sabotage my career by being way too combative against professional decisions I disagreed with, started fights with friends who got under my skin, and quietly hated people in my life whom I found annoying.
This all changed pretty dramatically once I stopped having a partner who in practice was a glorified roommate who didn't pay rent. All the anger I felt about not being loved or appreciated and not having any help handling life's practicalities melted away. I used to struggle with intense anger at other times, too, like when my dad was emotionally and verbally abusing me, and when I felt trapped as a teen in a homophobic high school surrounded by people who didn't understand me.
I think we tend to be a lot more angry and fixated on our anger when we're stuck in an unfair situation we either can't escape, or feel that we can't escape. I'm not sure if this is helpful to you, it may be that you're not in that kind of situation at all, and you might not be able to change it readily, even if you are. But if you can, I'd encourage you to find ways to assertively express some of that anger at it's root cause, if there is one, and if it's safe too. Beyond that, other things that have helped for me have included doing way less work, letting go of stressful commitments, learning to not hang out with people I don't actually like, quitting caffeine, never saying yes to a request I'll only resent having agreed to, working on mindfulness, and getting a lot of exercise. Sometimes a really distracting video game like call of duty or something like that helps offload the pent up energy too.
76 notes
·
View notes
Text
Silver Thread- Chapter 5
TW: Fluff, Sexual references, mentions of abuse and domestic violence, make out sessions, love bites
Terry’s Pov
By the time their food arrived Veda had let Terry kiss her a surprising number of times. Terry was over the moon that she had initiated most of them. Kissing seemed to be what she was most comfortable with; Terry couldn’t bring himself to complain. Finding that his imperative desire to be with her even in the simplest form outweighed his sexual readiness to make her his. Her willingness to show him affection assured him that she wanted to be his as much as he wanted to be hers. That she was definitely more open to letting him take her completely and that was more than enough for him right now. Terry smiled when she finally pulled away from him after a particularly long kiss. Her cheeks were tinted the cutest shade of pink as she gazed up at him with beautiful innocent brown eyes.
“Are you Okay, I know I can get a little carried away sometimes.” he cooed, tracing soft patterns on her back. Veda nodded with a reassuring smile on her face.
“I’m fine, that’s just the most kissing I’ve ever done” she admitted sheepishly. Terry felt a little smug at the confession, loving that he claimed one of her firsts so quickly.
“You’ve never made out with someone before” Terry said feeling incredibly giddy. Veda blushed shaking her head her eyes still adorably shy.
“Not like I just did with you.” She said coyly. Terry couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face as he let one of his hands stroke her cheek softly. Loving how she quickly leaned into his touch.
“Really, you’re pretty good at it for someone who’s never done it before. Have you never had a boyfriend?” he asked genuinely curious. Veda stiffened in his lap breaking eye contact as she became visibly uncomfortable. Terry switched into comfort mode quite quickly letting his arms pull her into an embrace.
“Are you okay, I’m sorry sweetheart. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable” he cooed softly, resuming the reassuring patterns he liked tracing on her back. Veda relaxed a bit.
“It’s okay Terry, it’s not you. I’ve had a boyfriend he just…” Veda trailed timidly, still looking away from him. Terry quickly got the sense that this boyfriend was the root of every insecurity she’s ever had. Terry felt a silent rage brewing in him at the thought.
“What did he do?” Terry said, trying to hide his growing anger as leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. Veda finally met his gaze bringing her hand up to his cheek, drawing reassuring circles on it. Terry leaned into her hand, his heart fluttering at the fact she picked up on what he was feeling again.
“I don’t really like to talk about it.” Veda smiled at him softly, Terry let his eyes soften.
“You can tell me anything Veda. If you need anything or have a problem, I’m here for you no questions asked and no judgement on my part” Terry said reassuringly. Veda gave him another sweet smile.
“He just didn’t treat me well. I mean he cheated, he lied, he was verbally abusive…” Veda said softly. Terry gritted his teeth tightening his grip around her waist slightly taking deep breaths.
“Did he ever hit you?” Terry managed to get out, trying not to sound angry so he didn’t scare her. Veda only nodded slowly in response. “When did this happen?”
“It was months ago, don’t worry about it my brother’s mentor put him back in his place already” she said with a reassuring smile. Terry forced a smile on his face as he looked at her, still feeling a great deal of rage. Veda reached up to cup his as she returned his gaze.
“He hasn’t bothered me since then but if he does. I promise you’ll be the first to know Terry” she whispered placing a soft peck on his lips. The action had Terry’s anger melting away instantly.
Terry felt his heart warm, to Terry a promise was the equivalent to binding oneself to another person for a period of time. A vow, and a vow coming from her meant so much to him. Terry smiled at her feeling that swell of adoration overtake him again.
“Thank you, that means so much coming from you. Let’s not let our food get cold” he said kissing her shoulder, he could feel the gratitude she was radiating at him for changing the subject. A blush sweeping across her cheeks.
“I’ll move so it’s easier for you to eat” she said, ready to take a seat next to him. Terry smiled loving how thoughtful she is, tightening his left arm around her waist.
“You don’t have to move baby girl” he said moving them both closer to the table, Veda giggled.
“I mean because we’re both right-handed, silly. I don’t want to elbow you in the chin. You got a taste of my right hook last week” she said with an amused smile on her face. Terry chuckled.
“Well, I guess you’ll just have to let me feed you then. I need to teach you how to punch someone properly because that definitely was not a right hook, doll” he said smirking as he spooned some of her Cavatelli con Ragu onto a fork. The blush on her cheeks darkened as she looked at him with shy eyes, Terry brought the fork up to her mouth. His heart fluttered when she shyly submitted to him accepting the food, a content smile spreading across her face.
“You like it” Terry said a smile making its way on his face. Veda nodded frantically; cheeks still rosy as she gazed at him. Watching as she shyly grabbed the other fork with her left hand.
“You’re turn” she cooed scooping up some of his Risotto di Funghi, Terry eagerly met her halfway not wanting her to have to turn too far. Veda let out a soft giggle still blushing as Terry let out a pleased rumble.
“You’re so sweet, angel” Terry said softly, peppering her shoulder with kisses. He felt Veda lean down placing a kiss on his temple.
Veda’s Pov
They spent the rest of breakfast cuddled up and feeding each other like they were in a cringey romance movie. Veda couldn’t bring herself to care as she sat comfortably on Terry’s lap exchanging stories between bites of food and sips of wine. Which Terry insisted on purchasing even though Veda wasn’t 21, her 19th birthday was quickly approaching. Mrs. LaRusso never care too much about drinking anyway, wine being one of the integral elements of Italian culture and all. Veda wondered what her mom would think about her dating a much older man, Terry strangely didn’t look like he was in his 30s if Veda didn’t know his real age, she probably would’ve assumed he wasn’t older than 25.
“Here’s your bill” the waiter said, Terry handed him his credit card without even looking at it.
“What are you doing for your birthday?” Terry asked, still looking at her like she was the best thing to ever grace the planet. Veda blushed with a small smile on her face, she hadn’t mentioned her birthday to him at all when he ordered the bottle. She wondered how many times he read her employment file to have such a detail memorized.
“Probably working” she said teasingly taking another sip of wine. Terry chuckled at her rolling his eyes with an amused smile on his face.
“Don’t you read the newsletters I drop on your desk every week? Dynatox is closed that Friday” Terry replied in the same teasing tone. Veda cocked her eyebrow at him.
“You didn’t close the whole office just for my birthday, did you?” Veda asked catching the slightest trace of a blush grace his cheeks.
“Yes, I very much did” Terry said nonchalantly “So, what are your plans?” he repeated. Veda looked at him in disbelief.
“I’ve got nothing planned on the actual day, but I’m going to dinner with my mom and brother that Sunday” she said with a shy smile.
“Well, that won’t do, beautiful women should always have plans on their birthday. How about I throw you a party?” Terry said pulling her closer to his chest. Veda blushed.
“That’s very sweet of you but I don’t really like parties. I’ll go if you really want to throw one” Veda admitted, now it was Terry’s turn to cock an eyebrow at her.
“Wait, really?” Terry asked, Veda couldn’t help but laugh at the expression on his face.
“Yes really, I don’t know why everyone is so surprised to hear that. I crunch numbers, read books, and go to boring lectures for fun. I’m a nerd, Terry.” She said still laughing “My parents loved it though; I was way more into books then I ever was guys.” Terry couldn’t help but laugh with her.
“Oh my God, you are a nerd.” Terry said teasingly. “I adore that about you though, we have real intellectual conversations and debates. I like that I can take you to a museum or immerse you in the culture of another country and you would actually enjoy it as much as I do” he said more seriously, Veda felt another blush spread across her face at the compliment. Her heart filled with an overwhelming amount of reverence as she looked at him this time. Veda found herself pulling him into a hug, peppering his cheeks and shoulder with kisses. Terry wrapped his arms around her nuzzling his face in her neck again, Veda had grown to really like him doing that.
“Can we go to the museum for my birthday?” Veda asked shyly, Terry removed his face from her neck to look at her with soft eyes.
“Which one?” Terry asked, Veda leaned back so he could cup her face. Their waiter came back some time ago standing by the table awkwardly for the third time in the last hour and a half.
“As many as we can, we have two days to fill. I don’t really care as long as you go with me” the last part coming out above a whisper. Terry gave her a dazzling smile before placing a soft kiss on her lips which Veda passionately returned without hesitation. Terry pulled back to reply.
“I’d love to go with you Veda. I’ll happily go anywhere you ask me to.” Terry breathed out; Veda smiled at him again. Their waiter cleared his throat, catching their attention.
“I’m really so sorry. You guys are ridiculously adorable, I just need a signature from you, sir. How long have you guys been married?” He asked handing Terry the bill again. Veda let go of Terry quickly, trying so hard not to burst in to a fit of laughter as Terry signed the bill. A real blush graced his face.
“How old do we look?” Veda asked, genuinely curious since no one seemed to bat an eye at them being a couple.
“Him mid-twenties, you early twenties.” He said honestly, Veda smiled and nodded. Finding it funny he didn’t think twice about answering her weird question.
“We’re going on three years married, together for five total.” she said with a mischievous smile on her face, watching Terry’s cheeks flare an amusing shade of red out of the corner of her eye. A look of disbelief on his face as he looked at her with eyes as big as saucers.
“That’s really great, you guys look so happy together, I know your kids will just be breathtaking. Thank you, sir, that’s very generous of you. I hope both have a wonderful day.” The waiter said giving Terry a grateful handshake. Terry just nodded with a polite smile. Veda waited until he was out of sight and earshot before she burst into a fit of giggles.
“Veda, do you know how old you were five years ago” Terry said exasperated, still red faced as he looked at her in shock. This only made her laugh harder, her eyes a watery mess.
“I can’t believe you said that. This is only our first date” Terry said pulling her into his chest as he shook his head. Veda bit down on her lip to try to keep some laughter in.
“You said you were all mine, that you’d go anywhere I asked you to, and that you’d never let anyone hurt me all on our first date Terry Silver.” Veda replied teasingly. Terry looked down at her with a shy smile.
“I meant every word too” he said sincerely, like it was the most normal thing in the world. Veda felt that twinge in her chest again leaning up to kiss him for a moment.
“I know it’s only our first date but I kind of feel like we’ve been together forever. Is that weird?” Veda whispered; Terry’s eyes softened before pulling her into another kiss.
“Not at all.” Terry said placing a kiss on her forehead “I feel the same way.”
Veda blushed feeling self-conscious, when they finally pulled up to the office a full forty minutes late. Having spent a lot of time sitting in the booth just talking and sharing a great number of kisses. Veda loved seeing how happy Terry was when she opted to sit pressed up against him for the short ride to the office. It seems sitting on his lap for two hours impeded whatever qualms Veda had about letting Terry pamper her. Allowing herself to be touchy-feely with him was a big step for her and she was grateful Terry wasn’t pushing her for more.
“Do you want to walk in together?” Terry asked, Veda blushed finding it strange they could sense how the other was feeling so easily now. Was being lovey-dovey in a romantic restaurant all they needed to end up on the same wavelength?
“What do you mean?” Veda asked with furrowed brows, Terry drew some reassuring circles on her shoulder.
“I mean do you want to walk into the office at the same time or different times. The only person in there that knows anything about where we’ve been is Margaret.” He said with a soft smile. Vada nodded.
“Oh, Zoe and Rob are the only ones that are going to be hounding me. They’ll do that regardless of whether we walk in together or not. So, I think it’s safe we can walk in together, maybe just get the kissing out of the way in the elevator” Veda said in a teasing tone, Terry chuckled.
“Get it all out of my system, huh. Oh, babydoll you might regret that” he said winking at her, Veda rolled her eyes just as Larry came around to open the door.
“Thanks Larry, you’re the best driver I’ve ever had” Veda said, Larry let out a chuckle.
�� “Aren’t I the only driver you’ve had little one? How much wine did you give her Mr. Silver” he joked; Veda let out a giggle in return.
“Technically, my mom was my driver before you. At least when her car was working” she joked waving a goodbye before following Terry into the building. The pair stood waiting for the elevator in a comfortable silence, which Terry broke when the doors flung open.
“Come here baby girl” Terry bit his lip, beckoning Veda with a finger as he backed into the elevator. Veda a blushed feeling that warm bubbling feeling in her stomach, wondering how he was able to do it without even touching her. Veda looked up at him with shy eyes walking up to him, Terry looked down at her with dark lustful eyes.
“You told me to get it out of my system and we have 14 floors to go. Are you ready?” he said huskily leaning down to place soft kisses on her neck. Veda felt her breathing change as a familiar wave of arousal washed over her.
“Yes” she whispered, Terry didn’t waste any time lifting her up and pressing her firmly against one of the walls. Veda whimpered as Terry captured her in a fiery kiss, letting out a moan against her mouth. His large hands gripping her waist possessively, Veda found herself digging her nails into the back of his neck. Terry let out a groan letting his teeth nibble on her lower lip. Veda didn’t hesitate to open her mouth for him this time letting out a moan of her own as he eagerly entered her mouth. Kissing each other in a heated amorous frenzy for what feels like forever before they finally part for air. Terry placing opened mouth kisses down her neck and shoulder, a content sigh escaping her lips. Veda loosens the death grip she had on his neck settling to play with his ponytail. Terry lets out a pleased sound against her neck.
“13th floor” Veda says breathlessly, Terry pulls back with a big grin on his face. Letting her feet fall back to the ground gently, bringing his thumbs up to stroke her cheeks.
“Thank you for letting me do that baby girl.” Terry says leaning down to place one last kiss on her forehead. Veda smiles shyly at him still flushed when the elevator doors open. They both take a moment to collect themselves, Terry quickly fixing her dress straps and replacing a few of her stray face framing hairs. Veda smiles at the tender act of affection, gazing up at him as she moved to return the favor. She straightens his tie and smooths out his lapels, never breaking eye contact. Terry gives her one of his dazzling smiles in return.
“Thank you, my sweet girl” he says in a hushed tone letting one of his fingers slide down her cheek affectionately. Veda beams at his use of a possessive pronoun in front of one of his growing lists of pet names for her. Finding she wants to give him a few pet names of her own.
“You’re welcome, Romeo.” Veda said in the same hushed tone, her eyes searching Terry’s face for a reaction. Terry’s eyes light up looking a bit bashful as he places a hand over his heart.
“You like it” Veda says a triumphant tone in her voice, Terry nods at her looking positively giddy “Good” Veda says finding the courage to wink at him. Terry looks like he’s resisting every urge to pull her back in for another make out session. Veda represses a giggle as she quickly makes her way into the office, relieved to see no one seems particularly interested in why her and Terry were holed up in the elevator for so long. Veda catches sight of Zoe and Rob looking rather smitten with each other by her desk. Veda glances up at Terry shyly noticing that he's walking as close to her as possible without actually touching her.
“Veda, where the heck have you been?” Zoe asks quite loudly; Veda stiffens now feeling many of her coworkers staring at her and Terry as they walk closer to their section of the office. Veda doesn’t say anything when she finally makes it to her desk hastily setting her stuff down. Terry and her share lingering glances and coy smiles before he finally retreats back into his office pointedly leaving the door open.
“Hey Rob, how’s the first day back treating you?” Veda asks cooly, immediately getting to work on the files sitting on her desk.
“Hold on, are we not going to talk about what just happened here?” Zoe said arching an eyebrow at Veda calculating. Veda met her gaze for a moment maintaining a nonchalant expression on her face.
“What do you mean Zoe?” Veda asked, Rob looked between the two rather amused. Zoe scoffed slightly.
“The way you and Mr. Silver just shared lingering smiles and glances., after walking in here together forty minutes late for work” Zoe said crossing her arms over her chest. Veda shrugged playing up her clueless demeanor.
“I don’t understand, we just looked at each other according to you we do that a lot.” Veda said simply, Zoe’s eyes narrowed at her slightly as she approached her desk to look at her fully with calculating eyes.
“Are you wearing Oscar De La Renta right now?” Zoe said, Veda stiffened slightly surprised Zoe knew anything about designers. Veda shrugged again.
“It’s not new” Veda said, technically it wasn’t Terry bought it for her months ago. Zoe scoffed again.
“So, you just have 4,000-dollar Oscar De La Renta dresses and matching handbags sitting in your closet now. I’m assuming the 3,000-dollar 1 carat earrings and matching necklace were there too” Zoe said sarcastically. Veda found herself rather impressed Zoe knew exact prices.
“I didn’t know you were into fashion like that” Veda said truthfully giving her a smile hoping maybe she’d drop the subject. Zoe glanced into Terry’s office for a moment seeing him looking at them with an amused expression on his face. Veda followed her line-of-sight blushing when her and Terry locked eyes for a second.
“Veda! You guys are doing it again” Zoe said in disbelief, Veda jumped slightly at her volume. Rolling her eyes before leering at her.
“Do you have to be so loud” Veda said in a hushed tone through gritted teeth. Zoe let her eyes travel to her neck, a sudden look of realization crossing her face. Veda narrowed her eyes at her suspiciously. “What…” Veda trailed, not liking the smirk that crossed Zoe’s face.
“Oh my God, did he buy that for you” Zoe asked, clearly already knowing the answer. Veda shifted in her seat.
“No” she quipped dryly; Zoe shook her head. Veda saw Margaret enter Terry’s office out of the corner of her eye.
“Veda are you guys finally dating” Zoe exclaimed excitedly. Veda rolled her eyes again changing the subject.
“Rob you never answered my question” Veda said looking to find him still sitting on Zoe’s desk the same amused look on his face.
“It’s going quite well” he replied still amused. Zoe smirked again thinking she finally caught her in something.
“You didn’t look surprised to see Rob almost like you knew that he’d be here” Zoe said cooly, Veda let out a sigh remembering that she never told Zoe anything that happened yesterday.
“That’s what he called me into talk about yesterday” Veda shrugged returning to her paperwork. Zoe still looked down at her smirking when Margaret finally emerged from his office looking rather cheery.
“Veda, darling, how did breakfast go” Margaret asked a knowing smile on her face. Veda felt her whole face flush a deep shade of red.
“Margaret” she whined; Zoe beamed vibrating with excitement.
“You were late because you went to breakfast together.” Zoe said glancing back at Rob who was laughing under his breath. Margaret looked between all of them amused. Veda scowled at all of them before rolling her eyes.
“You guys are the worst” she grumbled, trying to focus back on her paperwork.
“I’m assuming it went well by the looks of your neck” Margaret quipped before walking away quickly. Veda furrowed her eyebrows confused.
“Wait, what?” Veda said looking up at Zoe who was stifling her laughter behind her hand. Rob came over to take a look with raised eyebrows.
“Oh, Veda” he said, Veda quickly brought her hands up to her neck glaring into to Terry’s office. He was hidden somewhere out of her eyesight.
“Honey, there’s a big ol’ hickey on your neck” Zoe finally said between fits of laughter. Veda’s eyes grew wide a gasp escaping her lips.
“Shut up there is not” she hissed digging through her purse for a mirror frantically, ignoring Rob and Zoe’s laughing fit. She grumbled to herself when she finally found it holding it up to get a clear look. Sure enough, there was a red purple welt the size of a quarter on the right side of her neck. Veda let out a small squeal rummaging through her purse for some cover up. Glancing up to glare into Terry’s office again, this time he was leaning against the doorframe. A small smirk graced his lips as he looked down at her with bright eyes.
“Sorry baby girl” he said, Veda narrowed her eyes at him dabbing concealer on her neck.
“Oh, you just wait until they see your neck tomorrow, Romeo” she hissed, Terry bit his lip at her.
“Is that a threat” he said with a teasing grin on his face. Rob and Zoe looked between the two, equal parts amused and grossed out.
“Absolutely” Veda replied in the same tone, looking up at him with a slight smirk on her face as she raised a challenging eyebrow at him. “I’m going to hold you to that one LaRusso. I’m not quite sure I got everything out of my system in elevator” Terry said flirtatiously backing back into his office. Veda blushed rolling her eyes.
“You know, I think I like them arguing better” Rob said shaking his head as he headed back to his desk.
#terry silver#thomas ian griffith#enemies to lovers#terry silver x oc#terry silver smut#karate kid#eventual smut
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
I just recently found out that Alexis and Jared actually posed for cutesy couple pics to promote the 5th season of Gilmore Girls (somehow I missed this at the time as I was obsessed with Luke and Lorelai) and I actually think ASP/the WB wanted us to....root for them? The show initially backs away from framing their "affair" as a grievous mistake by a delusional Rory and frames it as a love affair. They exchange I love yous, Rory plays their "special" song (gag me), Lane is absolutely giddy over their reunion and doesn't care that Dean's married. Rory was confused less than twenty four hours ago but now she LOVES Dean and Dean LOVES her and she goes to talk to him about it and they have sex again because she just can't help herself and Lorelai is the mean, mean authority figure who has to point out facts and who Rory freezes out for months because she's ruining her buzz, even though she leaves thr country the next day. And despite the fact that we see that Dean is verbally abusive to Lindsey and that he is lying to everyone and despite the fact that he never does a single thing to indicate he actually intends to leave on his own, Rory is written as the one who's not worthy of him because she "abandoned" him. And she doesn't regret it, they make sure to let us know that she wrote a break-up letter to him telling him how "special" their 45 second coupling was and how she's not sorry it happened.
I honestly think someone behind the scenes thought the audience would see this whole turn of events as sweet and destined to happen. The majority of hardcore Dean fans hate him during this era, even now, so I don't think it worked. And to this day I don't think ASP understands how horrible Dean comes off to the audience most of the time.
Oh, well. If they did have fans that rooted for them I'm sure they enjoyed their dating relationship falling apart after two minutes because Rory got bored.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
BPD / C-PTSD / bad relationship dynamics in Sleep Token lyrics - Part 3
TW for mental health stuff
Part 1
Part 2
Hypnosis
“Take from me
leave nothing left
take everything”
I just love Hypnosis so much that I have to bring it up again. That feeling of being in so much emotional pain and you want someone the set you free. To me this is what this song is about.
For someone with BPD this certain someone will not only set you free from all your pain but they will become your existence. Your reason to live. This is rooted in having no sense of self.
Mine
“Paralysed by my own will”
I can relate to this feeling. I don't even want to name an example because you can see everything that I already brought up as an example of being paralysed by my own will.
Everything is so intense and extreme that it does paralyse you.
“and I am certain that you and I are crashing course”
Yes. I had this with my ex-boyfriend and also with my ex-girlfriend. It still took alarmingly long to end those relationships.
“you will be mine”
I hate this feeling. I had this quite often. It comes from wanting to have power over someone. At least it does in my case or it's what I connect with this.
Like That
“just to provoke my combat
new weapons to snap those final strings
just to watch me fall back”
You want to watch me bleed....because I bleed so well....
This whole cycle of abuse has something to do with early abandonment. And no I don't meant to be abusive but it ended up happening. I can see this the other way, too. I often felt provoked. So....well...idk...Vessel, just break up with them if you can.
“Do you like that?”
No! I don't! It's lyrics like these that make me just scratch my head and ask myself: how do you write about stuff like that unless you have experienced this and it had a great impact on you?!
“all that inside, all your anger”
I just read something about BPD rage that I want to put in here. I have trouble explaining this feeling but they said it well:
Rage is the most primal feeling generated and the most protective defense that a young infant can muster to try to have the caregiver return to once again provide some sense of being for the infant.
Feelings and reactions of rage are experienced by those who go on to develop BPD so early in life that they precede cognitive and verbal development.
This is what makes borderline rage so primal, so intense, and in the case of the borderline so raw and unmanageable in terms of often triggered dysregulated emotion of those with BPD.
It is pain that has long-since been dissociated from and abandoned by the borderline. This abandoned pain of BPD is the ignition switch that needs only the hint or flicker of an emotional flame to ignite a combustible, all-too-often abusive rage like no other. Source
Fall For Me
“Through a fractured existence”
I feel this so much. Everything is just gone...don't remember my childhood. And even after that so many years missing from me life.....constant dissociation just leaves you like this.
Little pieces coming back but so much that does come back I just don't like because it has something to do with being traumatized....
“and I feel like I'm losing touch witch what I am again”
He sings what I am and not who I am...
But for me this fits the whole “having no sense of self” symptom of BPD.
“Oh God, I wish you were here”
Constant dissociation......
Over the past few weeks this has been getting so much better again :)
Alkaline
“She's perfectly misaligned”
I thought about my ex-girlfriend in that way. She was very open about her mental health struggles. I was kind of happy because I assumed that she would understand my struggles as well.
It turned abusive fast, though. And yes it was both ways again.
Distraction
“I am broken into fractions
and I am driven to distraction”
I know. Me, too.
Descending
“Until I let you fall
I've been left no choice
Don't you see that?”
You failed my “testing – game” and no you are not worthy of anything. Good day and may we see each other never again. You are dead to me. End of story!
Lol
It does remind me of playing games. It's this “I'm pushing you away but actually I want to be with you....I need you so much...but I push you away so you can't leave me” game.
“What would you do for me?”
Oh Vessel...well...I'm not straight so...well...sorry.
Buy presents, bake something, do whatever they say when you sleep with them,.....
I did all of those things....
High Water
“I will still avoid my own questions”
Just run away from your trauma. I get that.
“and I know you still bear the weight of your own existence
and you'll never bear the weight of two”
So true. Which is why I've been single for the past nine years now. It's easier to avoid all of this. Maybe someone will “collapse into me” like you say, Vessel but until then it's better that way.
Missing Limbs
“failing to remind you what you're living for”
To me BPD feels like not really being a part of this earth. I feel stuck between worlds. As if I was never meant to be or never meant to come here. But now I'm kind of here but I'm often so empty, sad, far gone, dissociated that this is not a home for me. I do have strange feeling of where we actually come from and I miss this place...
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Caz infodump, cw p much everything.
She Changes the way she behaves around people in order to make them like her the most/ hard to put down a “real” her. Fawn type personality through years of having to survive by being as charming and nice as possible as to not be targeted. People pleaser not through any need to actually be liked, but as a survival mechanism because she’s spent a large portion of her life in situations where she had absolutely zero power and had to rely on people on top of a power structure to find her absolutely perfect. Always gotta be nice/funny/demure/smart/not too smart/ dull/entertaining/boring/easy going/accepting/everything all at once but nothing too much. Able to alter her behavior and persona at the blink of a hat as to come across best to anyone who meets her. I think this is why it’s so hard for me to write for her- it’s finding the base her, and being able to look past all her different aspects of performance to see the man behind the curtain.
At a base level she is scared of everything and everyone. She wants to be and at some level is very selfless, wanting to help as many people as she can, but on on other level, instinctually gravitates towards whatever will ensure her own safety. Her first instinct isn’t to save someone else in trouble- it’s to save her own hide. It’s only through effort that she chooses the former. She doesn’t want to be selfish or thinking of herself first, she wants to be selfless and heroic. It just takes a lot of self control and decisions in order for her to actually be so. She’d love to be able to say she didn’t ever want or ask to have the power of inquisitor. But she’s dreamed of power for a long time- power means you can’t get hurt, and if you are hurt, power means others come and save you. On a darker level, power means she can hurt who she wants to, when she wants to. And caz wants to hurt a lot of people, though she denies it to herself and others.
Caz is prone to fits of paranoia and panic attacks. She smokes a lot of elf root to stave off panic attacks, though sometimes it has the opposite effect and she smoked too much and freaks out.
Caz likes being inquisitor. People show her respect. People worship her, and that brings safety and a measure of love.
Cazes parents were devout andrasteans, hated and feared all forms of magic. Caz showed signs of harboring magic from a. Very young age. They used to drown her in a pond and pray they could pray the magic away. Her dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat the shit out of her and her mom. Her mom blamed her for tying herself to her husband and ruining her life. She never beat her hard, but was more verbally abusive. Her dad beat her with things like wooden planks with nails in them hard enough to give her deep set wounds in her behind and back that got infected and inflamed. He once used a hammer to nail her ears to a table. Her dad would beat the hell out of her mom, and when he left, caz would try and comfort and heal her mom, who would slap her away in fits of despair and scream sobb about how caz couldn’t help her, how it was her fault.
After they told the circle about her and let them take her, about a year in her mom killed herself. When caz escaped and came back to help her she was already dead. Then the circle got her again and she was punished for escaping.
The circle was also not great. Very bad. Caz is very mentally ill for a reason. Sexual assault by the first and only Templars she trusted who knew her since she was a kid, watching her best friend kill himself by jumping out the highest tower window, constant surveillance and more assault and deaths.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
My thoughts and opinions on The Ultimatum: Queer Love
These are all spoilers so don't read if you haven't watched or finished it yet, but if you like spoilers, go ahead.
TRIGGER WARNING: // ABUSE
Mal - She's like the kind of person I wanna be. She is so mature, emotionally stable, assertive, honest, kind, and patient. I'm a Virgo too, but I haven't achieved that kind of Virgoness yet. I saw her vulnerable and angry side, but I never saw her being disrespectful while expressing those feelings. She deserves soooo much better.
Lexi - I like her because she really knows what she wants, and she's so protective, but she can be controlling sometimes. She's right in a lot of things, but her being right doesn't mean that she gets to invalidate other people's feelings and opinions.
Xander - She has a really kind heart, but sometimes they are too kind. I'm glad she chose herself at the end tho. She deserves better too.
Mildred - She reminds me of my abusive mom so I can't really say anything good about her. She deserved that arrest and she deserves to be alone unless she commits to changing her behavior.
Sam - Can't say anything bad about her tbh. I'm just happy seeing her being more vocal and assertive.
Yoly - Mal was so right about her falling in love quickly. I also think she needs to consider being in a polyamorous relationship. She's too fixated on the idea of marriage when it's not for her.
Rae - I don't understand her tbh I feel like it's more effective for her to be alone before getting married coz from what I see, it's easy for her to be influenced.
Vanessa - That's an actress LMAO. Every time, I see her on screen, it feels like I'm watching a movie not because she's beautiful, but because all I see is acting. All her expressions and dialogues feel scripted. Her eyes remind me of what Christian Bale said about Tom Cruise - "Very intense friendliness with nothing behind the eyes"
Tiff - Bro, I know you love your dogs, but I hope you treat people like how special you treat them.
Aussie - I know they have communication problems, but I feel like people don't grasp the gravity of their trauma. As someone who has been emotionally and verbally abused at home, it makes me anxious every time someone raises their voice. There was even a time that I would literally hide and sleep in the closet because I was so afraid of my mom and that was in my early 20s. I hope people appreciate how they are trying to change based on what Sam said in the reunion. Change doesn't happen overnight. The important thing is that they are moving forward no matter how small it is. I also found out that they are in therapy which is a very good thing.
Mal x Lexi - They are actually very compatible and among all of them, they are the ones who did this experiment perfectly. The thing I noticed is that I haven't felt romantic or sexual tension which is good because it means that they are loyal to their original pairs and that they do not fall in love easily. I feel like they would actually work if they were given more time. I also like how Lexi gets along with Yoly and respects each other, the same with Mal and Rae. I was so happy hearing Mal saying that she wants to be a flower girl at Lexi and Rae's wedding.
Mal x Yoly - I hate to blame this on one person, but I don't see anything wrong with Mal. Yoly said she's being inconsistent, but I feel like that's the reality of a long-term relationship. It doesn't have to be intense and romantic everyday. I feel like Yoly has an unrealistic expectation and again, she falls in love so quick. Her revealing that they broke up just after 3 weeks sounds like sabotage thinking she could be with Xander.
Yoly x Xander - They are actually cute and I rooted for them before I realized what Mal has been saying about how she falls in love so quickly and intensely.
Xander x Vanessa - Vanessa loves being loved. She loves being chosen. It clearly shows how she only wants to get married because she hates losing. Not losing Xander, but losing someone who is obsessed with her. I'm sooo fucking glad they broke up.
Vanessa x Rae - They are just messing around lmao like it's hard to absorb what's happening between them coz everytime I see Vanessa, I just roll my eyes.
Rae x Lexi - Are they Earth x Air signs??? I know opposites attract, but they are too opposite. You have Lexi who knows what she wants and does everything to achieve it then there's Rae who is all over the place. I was actually surprised that Rae proposed first, but not surprised at all when I found out that they broke up after the reunion. None of them are really bad, they are just so incompatible.
Mildred x Tiff - We're talking about abuse here so there's nothing left to say. Tiff, I hope you are in a better and safer place and Mildred, I hope you're committing to therapy.
Tiff x Sam - They are actually compatible as friends. They are fun to watch, but that dog scene was kinda off coz why are you raising your voice to someone who doesn't like dogs. You should have talked about that before the trial marriage. It feels inhumane to look at that they would cook for the dog, but not for the person they are living with.
Sam x Aussie - Arguments and chaos aside, they are actually a fun couple. I love seeing them laugh and all and I'm actually rooting for them after finding out about their improvements and decision about going to therapy.
Aussie x Mildred - I know you all hate it when Aussie walks away, but I'm glad they did. Someone like Mildred is hard to talk to. They will only listen to themselves and they can't stop talking over people and being aggressive. There's no point in communicating with them.
I'm really glad that this reality show for queer women exists. I've seen reality shows and competitions for queer men and I'm happy for them, but it kinda reflects how the industry and audience support them because they think they are more entertaining. At the end of the day, we queer people do not exist merely for entertainment.
This also shows that queer couples are just like cis-hetero ones who are imperfect and messy. People outside our community should not put us on pedestals and expect that we are better when it comes to relationships because we're not. Sometimes, the reason we mess up is that most of us spent a lot of time in the closet not having enough experience, hating ourselves, and experiencing a lot of trauma from our family and society. This is not a justification, but an explanation. All love 🌈🫶🏼
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
If you want questions about women, then I have questions about Kikimora. What do you think of her? And isn't it strange that she was able to eavesdrop on all the conversations between Phillip and the Collector, but didn't tell anyone about it? And how did Phillip (I'M REALLY SORRY, I'M SORRY), who knows everything that happens in his castle, not notice her?
FINALLY-
I mean. Wow, I was really looking forward to someone asking about her!
As always, more below the cut.
So. I could never really put Kikimora in one box, which made her all the more fascinating to me and all the more eager to explore her psychology.
In the end, I came to a conclusion that she's a rare case of both an Unsympathetic Victim and Perpetrator at the same time, which I rarely see explored in media.
Of course, she's a different type of unsympathetic victim than Hunter from that short series of headcanons and studies, but rather similar still. She too yearned for Belos' affections and recognition, even rushing to help when he almost had another one of his outbursts. She abandoned her family for a position possibly closer to him (and she's already high up, even above Lilith) but most importantly...She was jealous of Hunter.
While being actively aware of the abuse he endured behind closed doors. While knowing what happened to previous Golden Guards, and possibly the plans regarding the Day of Unity.
Yet she still wanted to be as close to Belos as possible, and nothing besides being told to go die by the object of her adoration changed her mind. To me, it seems like Kikimora projected some sort of relationship (is that the right word) onto Belos, and I still can't figure out just what kind of relationship.
Ruler and his right hand?
Closest confidant?
Devil on the shoulder and the listener?
There's also a small possibility for that loyalty to be underlaid with something else entirely, but I'm not certain if I'm equipped to talk about it. Sometime ago, someone in my notes made a somewhat distasteful joke about Kikimora's situation in reply to someone else and I have been thinking about it since.
Then, there's also the perpetrator part.
Despite her being in a cult just as much as everyone else in the Emperor's Coven, she was pretty much the Chief cultist, without doubt verbally abusing scouts working for her at every occasion. On top of that, when in Agony of a Witch she saw Lilith returning from the Owl House, she seemed entertained by the possibility of her meeting with the Emperor going wrong and rubbed it in her face.
There's also the Hunter situation. Again, she knew everything. And she still tried her best to make his life worse. She still chose to bring him back to Belos.
Even though she's clearly a victim of propaganda and manipulation, that doesn't stop her from being both complicit and a perpetrator of abuse directed at others. A walking contradiction, which makes her all the more interesting to me. Is she an opportunist or a naïve fool who thought she could befriend the owner of the boot at her throat?
Guess we'll never know.
Now, as for why she didn't tell anyone about the Collector, I can think of three reasons.
Her loyalty to Belos, rooted in the belief that he above all else knew what was right and what was not.
That knowledge being exclusive to her could have proved useful later, babbling it out would have done her no good. Of course she didn't get to use it, but anyways.
No one would believe her that the Emperor keeps a child god from outer space in his workshop. Just writing that feels absurd.
As for how Belos supposedly didn't know...I think that's not actually the case.
In the Eclipse Lake episode, his one line of dialogue about Kikimora having her little schemes implies that he knew she was around and eavesdropping, on top of that planning on getting higher up the hierarchy. However, confronting her about it could have possibly deprived him of an important resource if she decided to desert or rebel, so he played along.
Right up until he didn't need her anymore, as she was supposed to be dying in the next few minutes. That would be the most logical and efficient way to go about it, I think.
As for my personal opinion of her, I want to throw her at a wall and put her brain until a microscope. I want to know and understand her thought processes so, so badly.
Final rating would be 7.5/10 as there's still very little to go off.
Thank you for asking.
ALSO I'M STILL NOT A THERAPIST OR A LICENSED PROFESSIONAL IN PSYCHOLOGY OF ANY KIND!!!!
#toh kikimora#belos#toh hunter#toh#the owl house#rhine questions#okay now#Behold a new tag!#yayyyyy#Rhine Character Studies
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Mostly regular...
Even here, some are still normal! At least, a little!
Lumpy Touch Mario-
This version of Mario began his adventures in Mario Land. He begins, and thinks he sees something behind him, coming out of a pipe. He goes down it, and after exploring. He sees a Toad, mangled up in the branches of something... Afraid, he rushed forward. He then finds Daisy. Or at least... It looks like it. After a moment, he feels intense pain, and passes out as a large monster is above him. He then passes out... When he wakes up, the monster and all proof is gone. He lips forward, not doing very good. He finds a mushroom, and apon eating it, pukes. He manages to stumble his way to a Toad Town before passing out, waking up in a hospital. After telling the doctor Toad about a dream he had, were he entered himself and saw some sort of creature, he is told that this is good news, as he is the chosen vessel of the God! The Toad changes form to what looks like a parasite, just as every other Toad in town does, and Mario begins running. He runs for a long time, and almost makes it to a warp pipe when he collapses, unable to move further, until a large vine like root shoots out of the pipe, impaling a Toad about to get him... He passes out. When he awakens, he is informed he was saved by someone named BARONIAL, and is promised they mean him no harm. Apon learning more, BARONIAL and the Toads caring for him are also parasitic creatures, however, they do not have problems with him, rather, the 'god' planted into him, as it is an invasive species around here. BARONIAL herself offers him protection, even offering to remove the god when it gets big enough. He agrees, and in doing so, makes power enemies, yet also very powerful allies...
(DOMAIN: MX's)
Luigis Day Out Mario/Luigi-
These two are an unlikely duo. A mentally challenged man, and a tired jackass brother. They go day by day, their mom having Mario take Luigi with him. Though not as decorated as the original, Mario now sports some tattoos, such as a flaming Dry Bowser on his back, as well as his pentagram hat. He is very verbally abusive to everyone, though he doesn't enjoy being physical. Luigi just wants to hang out with his older brother, being naive and loving. In private, on special days, Mario will take care of and show love to Luigi, though it is usually only on his birthday and Christmas. Mario smokes quiet often, worrying Luigi and their mom, due to him constantly being made fun of for his brother. He is very tired and quick to temper. Though he will never admit it, he was extremely worried the night that Luigi spent out with Daisy and Waluigi, and never let it happen again. The week after is still the longest time he has been nice to Luigi in years. Though a very uptight person, the only thing that can get him to let up, even a little bit, is when people he has never met compliment him. He has depression, though he talks about his problems to 64, who is always willing to lend an ear.
(DOMAIN: MX's)
I Hate You Luigi-
Easily one of the most aggressive characters to exist, to bad his only power is prolonged life. Due to jealousy over his brother getting the spotlight, this Luigi sided with Bowser to kill him, although failing terribly and ending up falling in the lava himself. By some miracle, even with his body falling apart, he survived. Ultra M offered to allow Luigi to become the spotlight of his own game, if Luigi only helps to defeat the demon. Luigi agreed, and although he finds it annoying Ultra M is in his brothers form, he enjoys spending time with Ultra M, because he 'sees Luigi for who he really is
(DOMAIN: Ultra M's)
Secret History Mario-
This dictator is another one of the more regular characters, however, he runs a dictatorship, instead of truly helping the princess like most. He is much alike to Mr. Sys, and because of this, Sys has made sure he gets more power than other beings in universe. He has a large army behind his back wherever he goes, most people who know him fear him. Ultra M convinced him to help against the demon with promises of oil and fortune. While a tyrant, he isn't completely uncaring to his people. He keeps them just happy enough to not try to overthrow him, while still keeping most all for himself. He enjoys the company of Mafia Luigi and often engages in deals and trades with him, though neither truly trusts the other... Enjoys a good cigar.
(DOMAIN: Ultra M's)
Mafia Luigi/Manipulated Mario-
Two sides to one story. It has been seven years since we have seen the brothers, and things have changed. The king of the Mushroom Kingdom, in all his glory, has declared that Mario and Peach shall not wed. And due to this, over several years, Mario has become a drunk. He spends most his time in a bar, drinking himself away. Luigi, however, couldn't stand to see his brother like this. He started an uprising against the king, making a mafia of Toads. He works day and night in secret to take down the king who has placed absolute rule over his brother and the kingdom. He gets money from many things, bodyguard services all the way to simple drug deals. His influence has spread to many worlds, including Sonics. Although not very strong on his own, he has a personal army, and all the power ups he'd need, even special new ones... Guns, tanks, bombs, and more. He is extremely smart, and for this, has been hard to beat. He has gotten most of his weaponry from Secret Histories Mario, and considers him an ally, though he doesn't have full trust.
(DOMAIN: Ultra M's)
#horror mario#marios madness#mario exe#my au#original character#mario 85#mario madness#nintendo's world
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
i'm very new here, would it be okay to ask of you to infodump about "dez"? they seem very blorbo material and i'm curious :3 (if not i'll totes understand if you wanna keep things hush-hush due to spoilers lol)
OFC ILL INFODUMP ABT DEZ DEAR ANON HE'S MY BOY
his names Desmond O. Arkady and he’s the main protag of SE and is…tbh the only normal person out of the entire cast. he’s just a normal superpower-less kid who gets involved in world altering events on accident becuz everyone else is mean to him and likes using him cuz he craves validation and can’t say no :( unfortunately for all the ppl who like pushing him around, he’s got extremely serious, repressed anger issues (due to his dad's emotional/verbal abuse and his mom abandoning the family) and is eventually pushed beyond his breaking point which at some point involves making a nuclear bomb so. good work guys-
he’s also super fucking smart and loves everything to do with science even tho he isn’t too good at math. he excels at biology and chemistry and likes to take home dead animals to cut open and look at. he also practices necromancy- he’s a distinguished little victor frankenstein just. one who doesn’t steal dead bodies v-v he particularly likes reviving dead cats (one of which becomes a supporting character at a later point) but other than natural sciences he's pretty adept at taking things apart and putting them back together. he can look at a radio and know exactly how it works and what the components are that make it function. he also loves fun facts and will randomly drop them on people, especially morbid ones that he finds 'funny and interesting' but isnt to others :( so while he's pretty intelligent he doesnt do well socially which resulted in him being bullied VERY badly when he was younger but he tries to take everything in stride....even tho he almost drowned once becuz of it and one other time almost beat someone unconscious during one of his 'rage blackouts' (he definitely fucking cried for like 3 days straight after that even tho he doesnt rmm)
while relatively normal he’s related to like, arguably the most powerful person in the world which is something he’s super unaware of. he’s the heir to a shit ton of scientific endeavors and intended future owner of ALL ANDROIDS. but again he’s unaware of this so when “certain things” tend to happen to him or around him he just tends to brush it off and doesn’t think it concerns him. the person who he’s related to, Lupe, is struggling to get into contact with him cuz 10 years ago she astral projected so hard she caused her subconscious (i’m not explaining) to time travel so. she’s just been in a coma for a long while annnnd she very much might never wake up again so OH WELL looks like her TRILLION DOLLAR FORTUNE is just in fucking limbo for now >:/
hmm what else..very much a people pleaser, he's got this really weird inclination to freak the fuck out if he thinks people don't like him- he also ignores a lot of his feelings?? like if he feels anything intense other than happiness he's prone to crying fits and throwing up which his bodyguard francis thinks is INSANE and STUPID. despite ppl treating him like shit he's genuinely a very hopeful person and loves the world and everything that takes up space in it. like he tries to and does see the good in everything and while the events of the story kinda wear down on him he ultimately doesn't think humanity or Martiankind deserves pain and/or suffering; he persistently keeps a strong sense of justice/morality and thinks that anyone or anything is ultimately capable of good.
hrrrrm thats all i can seem to say off the top of my head for now...anyway yeah he's literally the best :3 like out of the entire cast of SE he's definitely the guy the root for imo v-v
waaaa but tysm for the q
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Why were the heads of the Sussex Squad speakers at mental health h day? by u/Technical_Ant_7466
Why were the heads of the Sussex Squad speakers at mental health h day?
Before reading this post I’d like you to view this video please.https://youtu.be/J_accpKSXwE?si=P9DAUTcLCRnC0qpwYesterday we witnessed hypocrisy on a grand scale.The dimwit prince & the ILBW were preaching about safety & the internet.( I feel badly for anyone who has lost someone because of cyber bullying, but these two people are not the on s that should be speaking to the subject).They continue their claim on wanting change, they continue to pretend to care about online bullying, but these two Grifters have moral standards of convenience.The Harkles preach about online safety but their actions demonstrate that what they preach against is somehow “different” when they, their bots or their hired hate fans are guilty of intimidation and bullying.They spoke about their concern regarding social media safety; however, their verbal views do not match their own behaviour (or the behaviour of the people they hire). MM & Harry are a study in hypocrisy. They pretend to have concern but their own actions don’t demonstrate that they are working for the greater good. They have the inability to take any criticisms on ANY social media platforms and wish to censor media for their advantage and perhaps to the advantage of more powerful people than themselves.The Harkles pay individuals on social media to make death threats, lie, insults and intimidate. They are guilty of perpetrating the exact behaviour they are speaking out against, either directly under a different name, but mostly by proxy. (Hired hit people which have been called the Sussex Squad.)They’ve used bot farms, (Bot Sentinel) whose founder is Christopher Bouzy(also made an appearance on their Netflix FLOP). He has done a lot of harm on social media and was/is on the Harkle payroll.These people are vile and have made death threats to, Avid Gardener (see video above ), Sue Smith (YouTube), the Walseses, the Wales children, and the late Queen. They make hateful responses to other members of the online community on different social media platforms.MM & Harry have never once denounced the behaviour of their paid Sussex Squad.There is more hate directed from the Sussex Squad than the other way around.People criticize MM, and may not like her, but the anti-MM community does not make death threats or other vile commentary.Her inflated sense of ego and self-righteousness, coupled with an inability to be humble and desire for censorship is at the root of her “passion”regarding online safety.MM & Harry believe that they should not be held to the same standards as others because they are better.Their interest in online safety is an attempt to control what’s said about them- they refuse to be judged. They refuse to use objective morality, which is the belief that meaning is not open for interpretation, and that something is true regardless of who is involved in a situation. In other words, verbal abuse is wrong, death threats are wrong, bullying ppl right off social media is wrong.Having these two bullies as guest speakers on mental health was wrong.What you needed were people who could be taken seriously on the subject, not prime misinformation/ disinformation/ bully propagandists.
post link: https://ift.tt/Ndwq3ep
author: Technical_Ant_7466
submitted: October 11, 2023 at 04:20PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit
#SaintMeghanMarkle#harry and meghan#meghan markle#prince harry#voetsek meghan#sussexes#markled#archewell#megxit#duke and duchess of sussex#duchess of sussex#duchess meghan#duke of sussex#harry and meghan smollett#walmart wallis#harkles#megain#spare by prince harry#fucking grifters#meghan and harry#Heart Of Invictus#Invictus Games#finding freedom#doria ragland#WAAAGH#Technical_Ant_7466
4 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
ahududugibimsi
bize biraz umut lazım
lyutevzh
serafima
post-modern-outlaw
Jamie Hodgson
lyutevzh
serafima