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crimeronan · 3 years

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Can you explain the appeal of Julian Blackthorn? This is a genuine question because I read the books and came away utterly bored by him and unconvinced of his moral greyness as opposed to like, Adam Parrish’s. He seemed so one dimensional to me but I want to know if I’m Wrong TM considering I tend to be very very biased toward my favourite characters and bored by the rest, and my favourites were Mark and Kieran. So maybe I just didn’t pay him enough attention??

it’s been a while since i wrote any earnest tsc meta but cringe culture is dead and the chance to infodump about my julian thoughts has me vibrating where i’m sitting so. yes okay.

technical stuff

(aka: things pertaining to How The Story Is Constructed)

cassandra clare’s characterization has become much stronger just in general since she first began writing the series like twenty years ago

perhaps most importantly: the more recent stuff i’ve read from her has involved characters who actually grow, change, and learn from their past mistakes

rather than repeating the same stupid decisions over and over again

and over and over and over some more

seriously take a shot every time someone in tmi miscommunicates or self-destructs in ways They Have Learned Not To Do for no real reason. u will die of alcohol poisoning

in tda this shines ESPECIALLY with the evolution of mark, kieran, and cristina’s relationship, but that’s a separate post

clare’s trademark is also the angsty traumatized jerkass love interest with a secret heart of gold

the woman is almost singlehandedly responsible for draco in leather pants and the proliferation of this kind of character type in fandom and teen lit. this isn’t a criticism it’s me marveling at how if you commit hard enough to a single trope you truly can change the world. follow your dreams

sad jackass with a heart of gold isn’t an Inherently Problematic Character Type

but poorly done it can lead to relationship dynamics in which one partner is constantly being hurt by and then forgiving the other despite them making no real effort to change, because they are narratively absolved due to being sad

(there’s a lot of this with earlier jace content. in some ways i think will was later created specifically to be a same-archetype protagonist who actually does get called on his shit and grow. that’s also another post)

also if all of your sexy male love interests are tortured jackasses with a heart of gold then people start calling you a one-trick pony

enter julian blackthorn!

from the very start everything about him is designed to be the INVERSE of the heart of gold jackass. which immediately makes him interesting just from a meta perspective

(mark and kieran are also both alternate angles on this time-honored archetype. mark gets the heart of gold and kieran gets the jackass and then they’re both much more deeply messy than that. yet another post)

julian is kind, self-sacrificing, empathetic, artistic, emotionally supportive, responsible, and favored by old grannies everywhere

so a completely nonthreatening milquetoast guy, right

immediately forgettable if you’re only here for the dramatic conflicts and shithead antics of clare’s other protags

except that he is A Mess

and that he has structured his priorities very carefully, and they are as selfless as you expect from The Hero (TM) but they are also Not Heroic (TM) and they do not align with the moral framework The Hero (TM) is supposed to use

moral ambiguity in characters always exists in relation to their narratives imo. you mention adam parrish - trc’s narrative already mucks around in different ethical shades of gray, and adam falls on the canon scale about where julian does on his canon scale. both more willing than the average pov character to do the ruthless thing or make the fucked-up choice if the ends justify the means; both with an intensely strong sense of internal priorities that they adhere to at all costs, both so unbelievably fucking down for murder; etc

i do think there are ways julian’s choices could have been pushed even further, but considering the number of readers who hate his guts already, i can see why clare opted not to go for the most controversial possible conflicts

so we’re flipping the narrative

instead of seeing this angsty bad boy and peeling back the layers of his trauma to find his heart of gold, we’re seeing the put-together selfless family man and peeling back the layers of his Responsibility Mask to expose the rotting husk underneath

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

THAT IS FUN AS FUCK

then when julian DOES lash out in hurtful, uncontrolled ways, he has significantly more narrative justification for it than most of clare’s protagonists (will elaborate in characterization thoughts)

julian is also interesting as fuck because of how his struggles allow for a more in-depth look at the failings of shadowhunter society, something that’s also sorely lacking in clare’s earlier work

his apparent amorality is simply the result of him making pragmatic and impossible choices because he has been faced with fucked-up ethical dilemmas since age 12 Because Society Has Failed Him

which opens the door for narrative exploration of how and why he’s been failed so badly & what needs to change

i also love that he has such a coldly calculated way of analyzing situations and allowing harm to occur when need be, bc a lot of clare’s early protagonists have such a bad case of Rush In And Get Myself Killed Because I’ve Got Feelings About Impulsive Heroism syndrome that i wanna push them in front of a truck

probably there’s other meta narrative stuff i could say but i’m stopping myself and moving on to character analysis

characterization stuff

(aka: reasons why i’m also attached to him in a vacuum)

i don’t read him as one-dimensional at all tbh

u may feel the narrative pushes “ruthless julian blackthorn” too much without delivering enough actual ruthless julian But i don’t think that’s the same as having only one dimension

from the get-go, the big question centered on julian is always “how far are you willing to go?” and the narrative pushes the stakes slowly higher and higher to continuously test julian’s “the price is always justified” mindset

he has a far more layered and realistic response to trauma than clare’s early protagonists - trauma affects every single aspect of his personality and how he conducts himself, and the effects vary depending on the circumstances

his conviction that he has to be the perfect parent to his siblings because they will fall apart if they see him show weakness?? rooted in how he feels like he’s fallen apart since losing the stable adult support he once relied upon

his willingness to hurt semi-innocent people, commit coldblooded murder, manipulate people using political leverage, allow harm to befall any stranger if it protects his family?? rooted in how he has already had to ask himself how much he’s willing to sacrifice, and how his family is his only source of stability when the world has never done Shit for him

his conviction that he has a darker heart than anyone else because he killed his possessed father, even though intellectually he knows he was saving his brother’s life?? rooted in having no means of processing this trauma and being unable to voice his feelings for fear of backlash from a deeply non-understanding society

the way he represses every single negative emotion he ever has, to the point where emma - his actual literal magic soulmate who can feel his emotions - is startled to find him hurting or angry?? once again all about how he has to be the perfect father or he’s failed completely

the way his anger is so totally disproportionate to different situations and the way his negative emotions can only come out in completely uncontrolled breaks?? all that repression baybey. this kid has not processed a single bad feeling in five years. every single real grievance and petty annoyance has been festering indefinitely inside him like a slowly spreading infection

julian’s arc involves him needing to get thru being his worst self to actually start to heal

as in, he has to actually learn to acknowledge his feelings, take care of himself, lean on his family, and let other people take some responsibility

he also has to learn that in his quest to be the perfect emotionally controlled authority figure, he has not actually learned how to control or deal with his emotions. like. At Fucking All. good god

the narrative setup is also about asking “how far are you willing to go?” until the answer is finally “not this far. not this far”

and once he reaches that point, he has to reevaluate everything about how he weighs his priorities and morals and plans, etc

(i also like that emma has a perpendicular arc in which she’s always the one tempering julian and telling him “no we can’t go that far” until she’s willing to do something horrific that he absolutely won’t and HE has to stop HER. very sexy)

it’s also just really nice to have a character who’s learned to relate so well to literally every single member of his family while still having a very detached ruthless interior consciousness. i have similar feelings about how adam teaches himself to love people, but with julian it’s spelled out more explicitly in canon & it’s a more central character theme

i’m sure i’m also forgetting stuff here but this post is long enough so i’m gonna say good enough

and like i said in the tags on my other post, there are things i’d personally write differently if it were my story - plot points i’d shift, character contrasts i’d up, themes i’d explore differently, pacing i’d adjust, etc. i have plenty of ways i could be nitpicky and editorial about the effectiveness of julian’s arc. but i also don’t feel like writing them out at the moment & none of my critiques on effectiveness have an impact on the core appeal of his character 2 me. he’s so fucking good

#replies #tsc #tda #julian blackthorn #meta #long post #ungodly long post.#shadowhunters #Anonymous

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bbdaydreams · 3 years

Text

Courage My Love// Semi Eita

Pairing: Semi Eita x Reader

Summary: You like Semi and come up with a plan to confess to him, unfortunately it takes a turn. You meet again a couple years later by chance.

Chapter Two: How Do You Feel?

Series Masterlist•<previous•next>

—————

The moment you were allowed to leave the auditorium you made your way back to your dorm. A couple people would stop to congratulate you on your win, some being complete strangers. They were nice and thoughtful but right now you weren’t in the right mindset to interact with others. You held your trophy close to your chest so it wouldn’t get damaged but also draw minimal attention mumbling a quick “thank you” from time to time.

“Y/n!” Tendou called your name when you were made it to the building that your dorm was located. You turned to face him and waited for him to catch up. When he made it to you his first instinct was to wipe your tears. “C’mon, no more tears,” he said softly before opening the door to let you in first.

When you made it to your dorm Tendou made his way to his spot on the edge of your bed while you set the guitar case down and put the award somewhere on your desk. Walking to your bed you immediately threw your covers up before getting under them and cocooning yourself with them.

Tendou met you about halfway through your first years when you interrupted their practice to drop something off for Semi. He didn’t know his friend had such a pretty friend. When you asked for Semi he immediately started his teasing which left you blushing, a look that Tendou found entertaining.

When you started getting closer with Semi, you also became more aquatinted with his friends as he did with yours. At first, you definitely thought Tendou was quite the oddball but you were quick to accept him as he was, it’s just Tendou things.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” the redhead spoke.

“I don’t get it. I thought we were closer than this. I don’t know what I’m more hurt by, the fact that he didn’t ask me to be his date or the fact that I had no idea he was even seeing someone.”

“I didn’t even know. Hell, even Wakatoshi was surprised when it wasn’t you he was asking!”

“God next week is gonna be so embarrassing,” you said now burying your face into your pillow.

“Hm? Why’s that?”

“We have our stupid dance next week! And we have that dumb dinner we all agreed to go to before we went to the stupid dance! Everyone is gonna have a date but me! Reon is going with his girlfriend, Ushijima has his date, Semi has miss mysterious, you have your date-“

“I don’t have anyone,” Tendou quickly cut you off.

You furrowed your eyebrows as you turned to look at him. “Why don’t you have a date?”

He shrugged his shoulders before responding, “I don’t know. I was gonna go by myself. I don’t mind being the odd man out.”

“I’ll be your date.”

Tendou turned and looked at you as if you were crazy. He leaned forward and squinted his eyes before leaning back. “Are you sick or something? Weren’t you crying over Semi and now you’re moving on that quick? I know I’m great but still that’s a little too quick for me doll face.”

You laughed as he spoke. “I am heart broken, but you still deserve to go to our last dance with a date. I don’t mind, I’ll go with you, what are friends for?” Once you realized what you said you where quick to apologize. “I mean, you don’t have to go with me if you don’t want to. I know you can ask someone else and they’ll say yeah, it was kinda selfish of me to just offer myself like that especially with all this going on.”

“I’ll take you up on your offer.”

The next morning you decided to text Izumi about her offer. It was the weekend so classes weren’t a huge focus, especially since the year was about to end.

“Girls! She texted!” Izumi exclaimed, raising her phone in the air with excitement.

“No way,” the girl with the attitude responded.

“That’s a good sign!” the soft spoken girl added. “What did she say?”

“She asked if we could talk more about the band.”

“Invite her over, Izumi!”

“Already did. She should be here soon.”

Walking towards the arts building you kept glancing at your phone every few steps. Why hasn’t he texted you? Does he not care about how hurt you were? Semi kept clouding your mind. You guys text regularly and you assumed he would’ve texted by now asking you if you were okay or even just saying a morning. Maybe you should text him first, you thought but that idea went out the window when you made it your destination. You put your phone away and opened the door to focus on finding the room that Izumi told you they’d be in.

When you found the room you knocked on the door waited for someone to answer. You heard voices on the other side for a bit until the door opened to reveal the bathroom girls.

“Welcome!” Izumi greeted, letting you into the room before closing the door behind you. “Thanks for coming, this is the practice room we managed to snag.”

“Hi,” you greeted her before looking at the other girls and saying hello to them as well.

“We didn’t properly introduce ourselves yesterday, now did we?” the main girl spoke. “I’m Yui.” She put her hand out for you two to shake.

“I’m Haruka,” the timid one spoke.

“It’s nice to meet you all.” You took a second to look around the room. It was a pretty much empty room with some supplies and desks but it was all pushed to one side of the room while the open space they created housed their instruments. “How’d you get this room? Eita usually has to go off campus to practice with his mates.”

“I’m close with the music teacher, so she pulled some strings and managed to do this for us,” Yui answered.

“Is Semi your ex?” Haruka asked innocently which made the girls eyes go wide.

“Haru, you can’t just-“

“It’s okay. And no he’s not my ex, we’re just friends. When you guys found me I was just overwhelmed,” you told them. They looked at each other as if using telepathy to communicate with each other. They must’ve unanimously decided not to press you further with their own curiosity and changed the subject.

“So, what kind of music do you listen to?”

“I listen to a little bit of everything but mainly pop punk I guess. It’s hard to label it. What about you guys?”

“I get that and we’re pretty much the same. Haruka is mostly into metal, but she still vibes with all the other stuff,” Izumi answered.

At this you had to laugh a bit. The most innocent and quiet looking one of the group, enjoyed heavy music. “Haruka, no way,” you told her while looking at her.

She leveled her eyes with yours before giving you a closed eye smile and speaking, “I love the lyrics and head banging. It’s fun.”

“I have to agree. What sound are you guys aiming for with the band?” You asked.

“Honestly anything. I don’t think we really have a sound yet, we kinda just play and mess around until we find something we like or we’ll give a topic and try to match something up with that makes sense. You mind listening for a second?” Yui asked making her way towards the bass.

“I’d love to” you responded before taking a seat on one of the empty desks. Izumi made picked up the electric guitar and Haruka sat on the stool behind the drums which was another surprise for you. Don’t judge a book by its cover, you reminded yourself.

Haruka gave the count down with her drum sticks before leading them into the song. Yui joined in and then Izumi followed after. Watching them was entertaining, Haruka’s hair was going all over the place you had to question how she was able to see. Yui seemed to enjoy swaying side to side while occasionally head banging while Izumi seemed a little stiff but was definitely enjoying themself. They seemed to be in sync with each other it made you worry that if you were to join if you would mess up their flow. When they finished they looked up to you.

“So what do you think?” Yui asked.

“I’d like to join, I just don’t wanna mess you guys up. You guys seem pretty in tune with each other are you sure you want me to join?”

The girls immediately started laughing making you question if you said something wrong.

“You’re funny, y/n,” Haruka giggled.

“We’ve been together for a year now and have been practicing almost daily which is why we’re at the level we are,” Izumi stated.

“Listen, yeah we’re alright but we need that missing piece which is you. And we’re picky. We’ve been looking for six months for a lead so when we saw your performance we knew we had to have you. We want you,” Yui added on.

You slipped off the desk and smiled at them before presenting a notebook you brought along with you. “Then I guess I’m in. This is my lyric book, basically what I have to offer besides my voice.”

Yui took the book and flipped through it while Izumi and Haruka looked over the writing as well. Yui and Izumi looked very concentrated while Haruka’s expression showed amazement.

“You’re good!”

“Dude, you’re definitely in. I can’t wait to perform these live in front of others!”

“Damn girly, you really are full of surprises.”

Blushing at their compliments you accepted your journal back. “Thank you, I’ve been writing since my first year.”

“Can I ask why there were some ripped pages?” Izumi asked.

“Oh, those were some songs I wrote for Eita’s band. I felt like they were more his style so I gave them to him.”

You guys continued chatting until it was around lunch time. They wished you goodbye and reminded you to come back tomorrow to start joining them for practice. You left the practice room with a smile on your face, excited for what the future held in store for your new band.

The week went by fast, you basically spent it writing more lyrics since all your school work was already done.

The school dance was tonight and so was the dinner that you were joining. You got out of the shower and threw on some sweats before making your way back to your dorm so that other girls could go take a shower to get ready.

“Hey, Y/n,” Yui greeted when she was stepping out of her dorm with a towel. “You getting ready?”

“Yeah, you’re going to the dance too right?” You told her, taking a step closer to the wall so others could walk by.

“Yep. I assume I’ll see you there. You’re going to that dinner thing with your friends first right?”

You nodded your head up and down. “Mhmm. I’ll probably part ways with them at the dance and try to find you and the others.”

“Sounds good. Remember, if anything happens, you have us to rely on. I know we barely know each other yet but we’re here for you,” she told you honestly. Yui may come off strong, but she really is a reliable human being. “I’m gonna try to find a shower head, see ya.”

When you made it back into your dorm you noticed a package in front of your door. Picking up and making your way inside you inspected it to make sure it was for you before opening it. The label read your name followed by the sender, Rarity Records. Your breath hitched.

You heard rumors that agencies were going to attend the talent show, but you weren’t sure you believed it. You carefully sliced the top of the package using a pair of scissors to unveil the contents. In the package you discovered a letter along with some snacks, stickers, and merch from artists that belonged to the label.

Dear L/n F/n,

We would like to congratulate you on your win last week! Your performance was beautiful and we believe you have a lot of talent. We’d like to invite you to join our label to help make you shine and prosper. Please contact us at this number. We await your call.

Sincerely,

Rarity Records

A label wants to sign you! Your wildest dream is on the verge of coming true! You had to tell someone!

“Oh my god, I have to text Eita,” you spoke aloud. Unplugging your phone from the charging cord and unlocking it, you quickly tapped on the conversation and typed out your message. You were about to hit send until you remembered the situation you were in.

Semi still hasn’t contacted you and it made you question if that concluded the end of your friendship. You’re well aware that you directly told him not to speak to you but at the end of the day it’s not like you yelled at him and made it into a huge argument. You missed your best friend. You know you should text him, he probably doesn’t even realize what’s wrong but you were hurting too much internally to reach out to him, even if it was exciting news that you know he’d congratulate you on.

You deleted the message and connected your phone back to it’s cord and made your way to your blow dryer. Once you finished drying your hair you went back to your phone to turn on some music to listen to while you get ready.

You sang along to the song and all the songs after that as you were getting ready. The last step was to put on the dress that you had. It was a stunning red dress with some gems and lace here and there but the glam wasn’t overwhelming.

“Knock, knock. Can I come in?” Tendou asked from behind your door.

“It’s locked and I’m getting dressed! give me a second!” you answered. You had the dress on, just couldn’t zip it up completely. Giving up on your attempts you made your way towards the door to let your friend in. “Hey,” you greeted when you opened the door.

Tendou’s back was leaning against your door before so when you opened it he stumbled back a bit but was quick to catch his balance. He pivoted and looked up from his phone only to be welcomed by your beauty. His eyes went wide before opening his mouth to speak. “I- you look, wow.”

You gave a small chuckle before attempting to greet him again. “Hi, Tendou.”

“Hi..” he answered, still mesmerized. “Sorry, you look really beautiful tonight.”

“Thank you. I was nervous about the bright red but it turned out really nice. Oh, do you mind zipping it up and clasping it for me?” You asked as you twirled around to expose your back to him. He raised his hands to do as you asked, careful not to get the zipper caught. When he was done you turned your body once again and closed your door to leave with him. “Let’s go, I’m starving,” you laughed as you grabbed his wrist to pull him towards the parking lot, failing to notice the bush on his face.

Tendou and you arrived a little late to the dinner due to the fact that you were having too much fun chatting in the car that he missed the turn three times, but eventually you arrived to your destination.

“You’re late, Tendou,” Ushijima said when you both arrived to the table.

“Only fifteen minutes. Here you go, Y/n,” Tendou spoke as he pulled out your chair for you.

“Oh, thank you,” you blushed as he helped you settle into the group. The lineup went as Ushijima’s date, Ushijima, Tendou, and you next to him. On the other side was Semi’s date, Semi, Reon, and then Reon’s girlfriend, the girlfriend being across from you.

Throughout the dinner you had a smile on your face. It was definitely awkward at first since it was the first time you were seeing Semi in the past week. You decided to communicate as little as you needed with him, not to make a point, but to be polite. You didn’t need to somehow ruin anyone’s night in any way. You were all together to have fun and enjoy the little time you all had left together in high school.

While you were enjoying yourself and chatting with the other’s, Semi found himself glancing at you every once in a while. He was right to believe you and Tendou had something going on, Tendou wouldn’t stop bringing you up to him during practice. Tendou always had something positive to say about you and now here he was, at dinner with you as his date.

Good for him, Semi thought to himself. Tendou finally made a move on you and got what he wanted. He was happy for his friends, but he felt uneasy. Why hadn’t you ever expressed your thoughts of his friend to him? You always called him your best friend but you never spoke about Tendou to him, only saying he was a nice guy if asked.

It made him question why you were so upset with him when you asked about his girlfriend. It’s not like you told him about Tendou which is why he didn’t see the need to tell you about his girl. He’d been wanting to talk to you about it but knowing how hot headed you both can be he opted to waiting for you to confront him first. He thought giving you time would be the best option.

“Semi, you should eat more before we go,” his date told him, distracting him from his thoughts.

“Oh, you’re right,” he responded before picking up his utensils to continue eating.

Taking one last glance at your form, he had to admit it was the prettiest he’s ever seen you. Your hair was done differently, your dress looked fitting, and the red really made you look hot. Your smile screamed that you were having a good time, a sight he missed seeing.

“The party has arrived!” Tendou spoke when your group entered the main doors of the gymnasium. You laughed at his silliness until Ushijima spoke.

“We should take pictures.”

“Good idea, buddy,” Tendou agreed. You all made your way over to some props and took turns taking pictures. Some were just the guys, the others just the girls, then group, followed by individual. Luck was favoriting you, you didn’t have to take pictures for Semi because him and Reon partnered up. You and Tendou did multiple poses, Tendou claiming you guys needed one from all angles, as Ushijima took pictures.

As you were getting your pictures taken, Semi was taking pictures for Reon. His eyes kept darting between both parties, lingering more on you than the couple directly in front of him. Semi was lucky his girlfriend didn’t notice but his friend sure did. Reon could tell how bad Semi wanted to talk to you and he couldn’t understand why he didn’t. Semi was never one to keep his thoughts to himself unless if it had potential to hurt someone else.

Reon excused himself from his girlfriend and explained what he was doing to which she responded with a nod. “Can we talk?” Reon asked Semi once they decided they were done taking pictures.

“Come on, let’s dance!” Reon’s girlfriend told Semi’s date before grabbing her hand and dragging her to the dance floor.

“What did you wanna talk about?” a confused Semi asked Reon.

“What’s up with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You have your girlfriend right next to you and you’re paying more attention to your best friend. That’s not okay dude. You’re lucky they haven’t noticed.”

“What are you talking about? I haven’t given Y/n any attention. We haven’t talked since last week,” Semi countered to which Reon sighed.

“Listen, you may not be aware you’re doing this, but since they joined us at dinner, you haven’t stopped looking at them. Why are your eyes wandering so much when you have a girlfriend right there?”

“I noticed too,” Ushijima spoke up.

“Have I been glancing at them that much?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but you need to talk it out,” Reon stated. The three boys turned to find you in the sea of people.

“There,” Ushijima spoke while pointing at the red hair that stuck out. “Go.”

With a gentle push from his friends, Semi walked into the crowd, careful not to step on anyone’s feet while saying excuse me to make his way towards you.

“How are you feeling?” Tendou asked you. Both of you were currently swaying back and forth, his hands on your waist as you held his biceps.

“I’m good. Tonight’s been a lot of fun so far,” you smiled at him.

He returned the gesture before removing a hand from your waist to the back of your head to bring you closer to him before putting it back down. “That’s good, but how do you feel?” he asked again, making you realize what he was really asking.

“Hmm.” Taking a deep breath to think you responded. “I still feel hurt, but I can’t find myself to be mad at him. I don’t even care about that girl, I don’t know her and don’t plan to be her friend. I just have to accept that if he wanted me, he would’ve asked me. It’s a tough pill to swallow but it’s the truth. I wish I didn’t hold onto the little hope I had and just opened my eyes to see he clearly wasn’t interested. We were just best friends, erm- friends- we’re just friends.”

Tendou changed his hand placement again. The hand that previously touched your head was back as his other hand rubbed circles between your shoulder blades. You didn’t feel like crying, you already did all of that last week. You had no more tears left in you and you just wanted to move on from the situation.

You and Tendou didn’t speak for a while, just swayed and listened to the song that was playing. “Can I tell you something? Tendou broke the silence.

“Yeah. What is it?” you asked.

“This is probably a bad time to tell you all of this. Semi is a fool, and I’m not saying that just because of his fashion sense. I don’t understand why he didn’t make a move on you because I am about to.”

His last line made you move your head so you were now making eye contact with him. “What?”

“I see your value. You are a treasure. Silly rocker Semi has overlooked what a catch you are. I never interfered because I knew of your feelings for him. I understand I’d just be a second option for you, a rebound if you will, but I’m willing to take any opportunity to get to know you better. I like you, Y/n. Can we get to know each other better?”

You were shocked. You knew Tendou as the friendly sightly crazy middle blocker on the volleyball team. You knew him as a class clown. You knew him as Semi’s friend. You never would’ve expected this moment to ever happen.

Tendou leaned a little closer to you which made you think fast. At the end of the day, you had nothing to lose, you already lost the guy you really loved. Leaning in as well, your lips connected. Unfortunately, it was at that moment Semi reached you both. It was at that moment Semi finally realized how he felt about you, but he didn’t feel like taking away the happiness from his friends for his own selfish feelings.

“Whoa dude, what happened?” Reon asked his teammate when he came back with a scowl on his face.

“I feel like a fucking idiot.”

—————

a/n: damn, this was supposed to be a Semi fic but here I am feeding the Tendou stans. Oopsies. ALSO I DID NOT THINK IT WOULD BE THIS LONG (and poorly edited again so another oopsies)

Tag: @pluviophilefangirl

#haikyu #haikyuu!!#semi eita x reader #semi haikyuu #semi eita #semi x reader #haikyu angst #haikyu x reader

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itsactuallycorrine · 3 years

Text

tagged by @bgonemydear--thanks, Brit!

How many works do you have on AO3?

37!

What’s your total AO3 word count?

266,653

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

10 (grouping Star Trek, Star Trek: TOS, and Star Trek: TOS movies into 1). From most works to least:

The 100

Community

The Mindy Project

Agents of SHIELD

From Dusk till Dawn: the series

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Star Trek: The Original Series

Veep

Will & Grace

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone (or, Clarke is a Punk Rocker) (t100, Bellarke)

somehow the beauty will find you (t100, Bellarke)

counting down the hours (t100, Bellarke)

the truth was built to bend (t100, Bellarke)

hope's a burden (or it sets you free) (t100, Bellarke)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I didn’t used to, but as I start writing for smaller or more inactive fandoms, I do like to reply.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

The first 2 stories of my series the stars came falling on our heads (t100, Bellarke) both end on a very angsty note. I think part one more than part two, but just by a bit. (They also didn’t age. great since they were written pre-s3)

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don’t write true crossovers, but in terms of fusion my Crazy Ex-Girlfriend-inspired Community fic The Situation's a Lot More Nuanced Than That was very fun to write (even if it did take me literal years to finish & post chapter 3.)

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not out & out hate, but very recently I got a comment along the lines of “This was good but I would’ve done it differently,” and it was the first time I ever received any comment of that kind on a fic in over a decade of writing & posting.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Very, very rarely--I only have 1 on AO3 rated E. I’m much more comfortable with either a fade to black or a short, not-too-explicit sex scene

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes! I’ve had someone post a fic of mine on Wattpad as their own (although I think that was from FFN, not AO3) and a year or two ago, someone stole one of my t100 fics, changed the names, and reposted it as a Game of Thrones fic.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I’ve had someone start translating one of my fics, but I think they only got two chapters in before they gave up. I don’t even remember which one it was, but it was definitely one of my t100 fics.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

My favorite to write is Jeff/Annie from Community--I always go through periods where I don’t think about them at all, but if I rewatch the show or read something, I always fall back into writing them. (There’s more than one reason my otp tag for them is “something always brings me back to you”.)

My favorite to read depends on my mood. I’m still in my Garashir (DS9) period right now--which is also a lot of fun to write. I’ve got a few WIPs simmering for them still.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I have so many WIPs that I just open up in google docs, read, and then get angry that they haven’t been finished.

I have 2 I don’t think I ever will get to, no matter how badly I want them, both for MacDennis (IASIP):

does it slip away slow (so you never even notice it’s happening): (title from Merrily We Roll Along) angsty-ish fic starting out in season 14, going back through time, and ending when they meet in high school. I have it completely outlined but every time I go to write it, my brain refuses to cooperate.

Untitled fic where Mac & Dennis argue and Dennis says something along the lines of wishing he’d never met Mac, and then he gets to see what it would be like and how his not being friends with Mac would change things.

What are your writing strengths?

I would hope characterization. That’s definitely where I personally feel strongest, and I put a lot of thought into the characters’ mindsets and personalities. My second would be dialogue.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Exposition! As much as I hate reading dialogue-only, it’s everything in between that I have a hard time with.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

It would have to be very necessary and I’d have to have it vetted at least once by a native speaker of that language, for sure. I avoid it where I can.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

....... iCarly. LISTEN...! (I have no excuse; I was 25 at the time.)

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I Thought I Could Fly Alone (I Can't Even Get Off the Ground) (gen Frankie-centric fic, Community) by a very wide margin. I love Frankie and I love her dynamic with every member of the study group, and this is one that came to me so effortlessly and turned out so well.

I’ll no-pressure tag @crazyassmurdererwall @bellakitse @peglegsjones @bufordtannen @celerylapel @shadesalvarez and anyone else who wants to do it

#fic meme

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joheun-saram · 4 years

Text

To Make a Power Couple (knj) | 04

Chapter 4: Cigarette Confetti

previous | masterlist | next

Summary- Y/N and Namjoon get closer as their relationship develops. Also, Y/N suddenly gets too many instagram followers

word count- 8.6k

pairing- idol!namjoon x ceo!reader

rating- R

genre- series, slow burn, fluff, smut, strangers2lovers

warnings- unwanted sexual advances, discussion of mindset post unwanted advances, alcohol consumption, oral sex (m. receiving), hickeys

a.n- okay so this chapter is finally done! Thank you for your patience!! It took me a long time to write the scene with Mr Li because I had to pull from my own experience and that was uncomfy - but I hope you like it. Also, there’s a time skip so keep an eye out for that. Also also, can I just say I love writing this character of Namjoon lol this character is my ideal boyfriend material LMFAO.

Hey Alexa, can you fall in love with your own fictional character? Asking for a friend. Thanks.

Feedback much appreciated! 💕

taglist - @beach-bitch-bitch-beach, @sassyuniversitytacopeanut, @rjsmochii, @jinjccns, @joyful-jimin

Good morning, Y/N. Today you have four appointments on your calendar. Your first three appointments are as follows. At 7:30am, you have “Morning stand up with Harry (Cancelled)”, at 12:00pm, you have “Jiyoung Gala Update Lunch”, at 2:00pm, you have “Quarterly Sales Meeting”. The weather in Seoul today is 24 degrees and cloudy. Playing BTS on Spotify.

Namjoon wakes up with a start, Jimin’s airy vocals flowing through the room. He’s confused as to why someone in the dorm was playing their old album. About to scream at whoever (probably Taehyung) was playing the music, he opens his eyes to find your face next to his. It takes him a few seconds to realize where he is, and his face breaks into a goofy grin as he recalls the events of the night before. His arm was numb where you lay on it, your arms around his waist, legs tangled together and he traced his fingers on your side in an effort to wake you up.

He could see you stir as you groggily opened your eyes, looking up at him with a smile that made his heart race. He reached to stroke your face, as you hummed an apology and politely asked your alarm to be quiet. Seems that you were nice even to your robots.

“Sorry about that. Work day, you know?” you shrugged as you snuggled closer. Namjoon couldn’t help chuckle as you yawned into his bare chest that erupted in goosebumps at the sensation. He gently pulled your chin towards him to kiss you good morning. Your face was puffy with sleep, your cheeks squished where they lay on the pillows, and watching you was so adorable that he wanted to wake up next to you everyday.

“You play my music in the morning?” He was elated. Just like the night you met when you accidentally sang him his song, he felt his heart soar. The fact that you woke up everyday to the words he wrote made him not only happy but oddly motivated. It was like he wanted to just run out of bed and write another album so you could have more music to wake up to.

He watched your face turn red at his comment and he couldn’t help but capture your lips in another lazy kiss, his hand soothingly circling your back under your t-shirt, well, his t-shirt. He wanted you to know that there was nothing to be embarrassed by. If only you knew how his heart raced at the discovery.

“That… that’s for research… you know to get to know you?” you were stumbling over your words and he couldn’t help but pull you closer. You were so cute when you were bashful.

“Mhmm... sure...” He hummed, amused. Hey, just because he didn’t want you to feel awkward doesn’t mean that he couldn’t still tease you.

“Okay fine. I like your music okay? You’ve converted me to your cult.” You huffed, pouting your lips, and Namjoon burst out laughing.

“What’s your favourite song?”

“Is this a test?” You looked incredulous, as you looked up at him from the crook of his shoulder. Your hands were resting on his chest, and everywhere your fingers traced their aimless patterns left behind warmth under his skin.

“Hmm.. yes. You better get it right.” It wasn’t really a test, but Namjoon would be lying if he said he wasn’t incredibly curious as to which song caught your eye.

“Can I google it?”

“Wait… you’re gonna google… what your favourite song is?” He had not expected this answer. He felt himself deflate a little, his smiling falling. He supposed you were a new fan, maybe you didn’t remember the title and wanted to look up the lyrics, but you could just ask him, he’d know better than google, surely.

“Yes. I’m gonna google which song you didn’t write and say that one cause your ego is getting too big for this bed.” You booped his nose as you burst out laughing, and he couldn’t stop himself from joining along, his earlier worries disappearing. You always surprised him, and it makes him crave what you’ll say next.

“You’re so evil!” he teased as he tickled your sides, making you laugh and roll around your bed. After a few minutes of your protests, he stopped, now positioned over you. Your eyes were beautiful as they look up at his, tears of mirth lining the corners and breathless from your laughter, and he couldn’t help but kiss you again, molding his lips to your soft ones. He loved that your arms automatically went around his waist as you pulled him closer and deepen the kiss, tracing your tongue with his. He kissed you like that for a few minutes, just relishing being in your presence. Your hands were resting on his chest now, thumbs grazing his nipples, making him shudder. It’s like everytime he kissed you, you put him under a spell and he wanted nothing more than to consume you. How was it that you smell like vanilla and flowers even in the morning? Did you just naturally smell like a fresh garden?

“Good morning” He whispered between his kisses, gazing at you softly.

“Good morning” you responded before closing the distance again and kissing him with passion. He could get used to this.

His hand moved under your shirt to cup your chest, rolling your nipple playfully as he continued to kiss you. Your moan went straight from your lips to his dick as he couldn’t help but roll his hips against yours, craving the friction. Your hands went from his chest to palming him over his boxers and the touch made him groan. He was so incredibly turned on and you had barely even touched him. You were going to be the death of him.

He let you carry on your ministrations as he kissed your neck, enjoying your mewls as he reached what he has realized is your sensitive spot, right where your neck meets your shoulder. He could see the marks he left last night and couldn’t help the pride swelling in his chest. He shouldn’t be so turned on by the bruises he left, but he can’t help his kinks. It proved to him that he didn’t imagine last night.

He was slightly taken aback as you slipped your hand in his underwear and started stroking him. He moaned against your neck as pleasure shot through him.

“Want to make you feel good.” you murmured next to his ear, your kisses on his neck making him flush. “Lay back…” He wanted to let you but he wanted to make you feel good first, hear you screaming his name as he made you come undone. He one upped you by placing his own hand in your panties, groaning at how wet you were for him.

“You first.” He said, more sternly than he intended but he didn’t notice as you rut your hips against his hand. Your hand didn’t stopped stroking him and if he was honest it was making him lose his concentration. He removed his hand from your underwear, ignoring your whines, as he stilled your hand, pinning it over your head.

“No… I wanna taste you… Please?” You looked at him with your eyes wide and he was powerless to your pleading. He held his ground though, not letting you take control. Not until you mewled another please and pushed against his chest. He laid back against the pillows as you straddled him, kissing him deeply before making your way down his body. You kissed his chest leaving a light mark near his heart that made him sigh. He was sure that mark was deeper than it looks as his heart beat faster the closer you get to his dick. You kissed his belly before kissing down his clothed length making him groan deeply.

“Baby, stop teasing before I make you stop.” He was testing the waters, grinning when he saw you sit up immediately, biting your lip before pulling his boxers down to his thighs, following his orders. He hissed as you kissed his throbbing head, before immediately taking him in your mouth. It felt unbelievably good, your soft tongue lapping at his length as your cheeks hollow. He couldn’t take his eyes off you and almost lost it when you looked straight in his eyes, taking him as deep as you can. You moaned around him and the sensation made heat travel through his body. His hand found purchase in your hair as you bobbed on him, making him grunt loudly, losing his senses as he guided your head at a pace of his liking.

“Stop Y/N… stop… I’m gonna cum…” He moaned as he pulled your hair, a little too aggressively, making you whine around him. You released him with a loud pop.

“Cum in my mouth, baby” you were smirking at him as if you knew the effect you were having on him. Of course you knew, it was obvious by how loud he was breathing. His cock twitched in your hand at your comment, and he decided to let you have your fun, mentally noting to make you beg for him next time.

“Oh fuck… You’re so good to me baby” he panted as you once again started sucking him off. You were more enthusiastic this time, the sounds of your mouth ricocheting off the walls as you sucked him while your hand played with his balls, cupping them, making him see stars. He couldn’t take it anymore and with a loud grunt, he announced his end and felt his balls draining into your mouth. He watched from under his arm that rested on top of his face as you swallowed him, licking the remains off him as if he was the best popsicle you’ve tasted. It made him lose his mind, the sight making him moan softly.

You made your way back to him and as you laid on the pillows with a satisfied grin, he kissed you slowly, making sure you could feel his gratitude for what may have been the best blowjob he’s experienced.

“Sorry if I pulled your hair too hard.” He apologized as he stroked your head gently, one hand cupping your face.

“Don’t worry about it. I like it rough.” Although he had literally just cum, he felt the blood rush downwards again at your words.

“Fuck… You’re gonna kill me, you know?” He said as he kissed you again, fiercely, his hands ripping your panties off, relishing your gasp. He was determined to make you cum.

And he did, twice, once in bed and once in the shower.

As you were getting dressed in front of the mirror in your closet, he heard you gasp.

“Oh my god Joon! What the fuck?” Worriedly, he entered the closet, his jeans half undone and looked at you dressed in your pants and bra staring at yourself.

“What’s wrong, baby?” He asked, as he moved closer to you.

“You animal! There’s like no concealer in the world to cover these!” You frowned, your mouth turning into a cute pout as you poke the hickeys that litter your neck and chest. He couldn’t help but smile at his handiwork as he hugged your waist from behind placing his head on your shoulder and kissing the mark on your neck.

“I’m sorry baby” His face however has no trace of apology as he grinned against your skin, feeling the blush that started at your neck.

“Fuck… I hate turtlenecks” you turned around in his arms, your hands going around his neck as you pouted at him exaggeratedly, and he wanted to go for another round. The power you had over him was overwhelming.

“I bet you look really good in a turtleneck.” He captured your lips in a soft kiss, smiling against your lips. He knew both of you had to get back to the real world soon but he just wanted to hole up in your room all day, all week, all year, just ravishing you.

You were interrupted by your phone ringing as you answered it on a speaker that rings through somewhere in your closet. He really has to ask you how many speakers you have in this place sometime.

“Hi, this is Y/N.” You spoke, your voice cold and formal and he was kind of taken aback by the change of your tone as you pushed his lips off your shoulder gently, still encircled in each other’s arms.

“Y/N! Are you okay? It’s 7:25… You’re never late!” He heard a familiar voice through the speaker although he couldn’t quite place it.

“Sorry Siwon! I’m feeling a bit unwell. I’m going to work from home this morning. I’ll come by around lunch for the meeting with Jiyoung though!” He brightened up at that comment, his grip around your waist tightening at the prospect of more time with you.

“Sick? Sure, sure… Tell Namjoon I said hi!” He watched your jaw drop as you awkwardly started coughing involuntarily. He kneould he shouldn’t but he can’t help tease you as a “Hey, man” escaped his lips, making you swat at him, signalling him to shut up.

“Oh shit. Am I on speaker?” Siwon audibly gasped into the phone and Namjoon burst out laughing, enjoying your reaction as you quickly bid goodbye.

“Okay, no coffee for you!” You huffed as you put on a t-shirt and make your way to the kitchen.

“Aww… babe!” Namjoon whined as he followed you, tugging his own shirt on to find you pouring steaming coffee into your mug. “Wait how did you make that so quick?”

He watched you smirk as you sipped on your coffee, making a show of how delicious it was, before you relented and pour him one.

“Magic.” You said smugly and he made a mental note to get you to teach him your tricks for his own house.

After breakfast, you spent the morning snuggling on the couch and reading the news, the easy domesticity of the moment not lost on Namjoon. Usually he wouldn’t even stay the night, but it seems like you made him break all the rules without even trying. He wondered why that was, why he was so drawn to you in such a short time. No one he had been with in the past made him feel this way, at least not only a week into knowing them.

“What are you thinking about?” you broke him out of his reverie. He hadn’t realized he’d been staring across the room. He didn’t know how much time had passed.

“This…” He gestured between the two of you, watching your eyes follow his hand from where your head rested against his chest.

“What? You’ve never read the news before?” You pointed at the iPad that the two you were meant to be reading from.

“You know what I mean…” He trailed off rubbing his neck, unsure why he even began the conversation. He should’ve just lied and said something funny.

“Sorry… I tend to use humour when I’m uncomfortable...” You got up from where you were leaning against him to sit upright on the couch, gaze averted.

“You’re uncomfortable?” His eyes widened as he tried to figure out why. Sure this all seemed to move way too fast, but you seemed to have found a rhythm with him this morning. He was slightly panicked that he had misread that. The thought that being around him made you uncomfortable made his heart drop to his knees.

“No… and that makes me uncomfortable” He watched you as you fiddled with the rips in your jeans. Your answer made him relax, pushing aside some of his worries. Knowing that he wasn’t the only one feeling lost with this new found comfort was oddly calming.

“I know what you mean. This seems… too easy, right?” He reached over to stop your fidgeting hands.

“Yeah… but I’m no expert. My last relationship was like three years ago” You shrugged.

“What happened? I mean… if you want to tell me”

“Yeah… it just didn’t work out. I was too busy for him sometimes and he couldn’t understand. He blamed me for not prioritizing our relationship. I was just starting out though… it was… hard” Your smiled at him sheepishly, a little melancholy behind your eyes, that made him want to hug it away.

“I get that. I had a lot of relationships that ended up the same way.” He thought about all his past partners, all the fights that led to nowhere because he couldn’t find time in his schedule to even resolve them. All the times he would receive an angry text and not be able to respond till hours later which only exacerbated the problems. All his exes that told him he was too self-centered, too narcissistic for focusing on his career, and for a long time he believed them, the guilt kept him up nights on end.

“Koren dating is also harder than Canadian dating,” you joked. He could sense you were trying to lighten the mood again, and he intertwined your fingers where they rested on your knee, before playing along.

“Wow… did you just stereotype my entire country?”

“Oops?” You chuckled lightly, your eyes brightening as you shrugged. “What about your last relationship?”

“It was about a year ago. We worked together, but we didn’t work together. There wasn’t really a reason. It just kind of… fizzled out. Although I think I was to blame.” He didn’t know how you’d react to this and he rubbed his neck nervously.

“Why do you say that?” You leaned closer, and he could surprisingly feel his nerves melting away at your proximity.

“I just would forget to keep her updated on my life. I know it sounds terrible.”

“Nah. It just sounds human. You weren’t in love.” His eyes widened at your response. He knew now that what he felt then wasn’t love but in the moment he had thought she was the one. Well, until she wasn’t.

“I thought I was” He admitted with a shrug.

“I don’t think you’d forget her if you were.” You were looking at him now, smiling slightly, your eyes shining as your thumb rubbed soothing circles on his. Somehow again, you had managed to sound poetic without meaning to - he didn’t know how you managed to do that so easily.

“I guess you’re right. Fuck… this is weird.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not usually this honest.”

“Wow. Must be the veritaserum I slipped in your drink.” You laughed as you reached to gently put your hand on his shoulder. He enjoyed the touch, it somehow made him feel safe. Safe to share his secrets.

“Is that a Harry Potter reference, you dork?” He could feel the mood lightening again and he realized that your ability to seamlessly switch from uncomfortable topics to humour was at least a part of the reason he felt so comfortable in your presence.

“I’m glad you trust me enough to be honest.” Your hand moved from his shoulder to rest against his cheek, and he couldn’t help but lean into it.

“Honestly, I think it’s because of you.” He watched your face turn to confusion, so he continued. ”You being so upfront makes me wanna do the same. Why are you so honest with me?”

“Because there’s no reason for us to continue this if we can’t be honest.” You smiled softly as you shrugged lightly, still stroking his cheek, and he felt his heart fill with warmth. “I’ve spent too much of my life pretending to be someone else for people to like me. So I’m testing my theory. If I’m honest with you and you like me, maybe this thing is worth it.”

“I do like you.” He really did. He hadn’t felt this strong a connection in a while. Someone who understood him without pretending to, or trying to appease him. Someone he could talk about the good and bad without judgement.

“You haven’t seen all the warts yet.” You averted your gaze, and he couldn’t help but cup your face and make you look at him.

“I’ve seen you naked, you don’t have any warts.” He tried your approach at humour as he kissed you on the nose.

“You are so cheesy!” You swat at him gently before kissing him lightly on the lips. He felt his heart skip a beat at the small gesture. “But seriously, thank you for being so open with me.” You looked at him adoringly, and he mirrored you.

He kissed you at that. Both of you enjoying the chaste kiss without deepening it. The conversation helped you both feel less uncomfortable with the comfortable.

His phone rang, interrupting the sweet moment, his manager asking where to send the car so he wouldn’t be late for the meeting that morning. Before leaving, you made plans to meet up again that weekend, and Namjoon felt that three days was too long without seeing you. He didn’t know why, but he hadn’t even left your apartment yet and he already missed you.

----------------------------------------

When you reached the restaurant for lunch with Jiyoung that afternoon, you still had a smile on your face. It seemed to have been permanently etched on your face since Namjoon left. You thought about your date and how it seemed to have been a thousand dates rolled into one. It felt like you’ve known him forever, and barring from Jiyoung, you hadn’t felt that way about a person before. Someone you connected with instantly, someone whose presence made you immediately calmer. He seemed to have crashed all the walls around you in a very short time and although that thought should scare you, it instead made you excited.

Spotting Jiyoung at a table you made your way across the restaurant to her, greeting her and the server, an old woman in her 60s, most likely the owner, that seemed to have appeared out of thin air. After ordering your entrees, your best friend and PR manager jumped right into business.

“So you’re famous. Congrats!” She did a little dance as she announced the news.

“What?” You were confused. Last you checked you had 2000 followers on your social media, which was run by Jiyoung and Siwon, on account of you being a “boomer” - their words, not yours.

“After the gala, a couple of magazines, courtesy of me, decided to do a piece on you. So congrats on your 200k followers!” She seemed giddy, excitedly jumping up and down as she clapped along. That was quite a follower growth and it led to her going into a twenty minute strategy talk on how to leverage your personal brand for the company. You were glad that she was excited, but if you were being honest you hated the limelight. The idea that someone’s “fame” could be decided by the number of likes of a photo posing at a restaurant made your skin crawl.

“Okay so we’re going to schedule a photoshoot sometime in the next two weeks and take a few photos for the next few months of uploads. Of course, make sure to take photos every time you go somewhere fun too, like I don’t know, one of your concerts you’re obsessed with or art galleries.” Jiyoung continued regardless of your groans.

“Do I have to?” You truly did not have time for this, your schedule is already overflowing. The whole idea of curating a feed made you feel stressed.

“Yes. It’s the game, Y/N. You have to play it” She replied sagely, as she slurped her noodles.

“You know all the photos will be of me holed up at the office. I’m not that interesting...” You played with your food as you pouted. Your comment wasn’t born out of low self-esteem, it’s just what you believed. Regardless of the media perceptions of the glamorous life of a CEO, you knew that at the end of the day most you did was sleep, attend meetings, and drink copious amounts of coffee. Occasionally you dabbled in your hobbies, but with the company and non-profit growing at the speed they were, there was barely any time for that. You doubted you’d be able to enjoy any of the fun till after quite a few more years when the title will become less heavy and you’d have more help.

“Don’t be stupid! You, my friend, are a young, fun, single woman! The world deserves to be envious of it!” Jiyoung dismissed you easily, shaking her hand at your protests. “Speaking of fun, let’s go clubbing Saturday, it’s been too long since you got laid.”

As soon as she finished her sentence you felt heat rise up your face, unconsciously bringing your hand up to your turtleneck covered neck. To make matters worse, your throat also decided now to work at that moment, making you choke on your rice.

“Oh my god! You minx! You got laid didn’t you?” Jiyoung loudly exclaimed, much to your dismay and of the other patrons who seemed peeved at hearing your bedroom adventures while they ate lunch.

“Please stop…” You looked around awkwardly apologizing to the old man next to you who looked at you with disgust. Great!

“Who was it? Where did you meet? Tinder? Did you go to a club without me? Was it a client?” The questions were endless.

“If I tell you, you can’t tell anyone, not a soul.” You were going to regret this, you knew it, but you’d be lying if it didn’t excite you to share the news with Jiyoung. She was your favourite female friend and even though on the outside, your friendship may seem mismatched to some, she truly understood you better than most people. She had been there when your last relationship ended, coaxing you back to your feet after weeks of self-destruction. You trusted her.

“Did you sleep with a married man?” She whispered, thankfully finally aware that you two were in the middle of a popular restaurant during peak lunch hours.

“Umm… no. Do you remember Namjoon from the party?” Namjoon from the party? Good job, real subtle Y/N.

“Namjoon?” You watched as realization dawned on her face, her face going from being scrunched in confusion, to wide eyed surprise, to what it is now; a smug smile. “I was wondering why your Spotify showed you suddenly listening to BTS…”

“Okay you can’t make fun of that too!” you whined, your morning faux pas still too fresh in your mind, as you buried your face in your hands.

“He made fun of you?” Jiyoung was cackling, before she started digging for details. “Man after my own soul! So was he good? When are you seeing him again? Are you dating him? Oh my god this is so exciting!” She is fully squealing and slapping your arm, making you wince.

“He was… amazing” you tell her your face flaring at the memories of last night. “And we’re going on another date.”

“Ooo date number two!”

“Well… technically four if you count the party?”

“Okay. What the fuck? You’ve been holding out on me! Spill!”

And so you do, sharing your interactions with Namjoon over the past week. It felt nice to reminisce about them, even though it was not that long ago. You were so into him, it was worrying. You were beyond excited to see him again, but your last conversation still weighed in your head. He was right. It just felt too easy, how you had met, and seemingly couldn’t get enough of each other. You were suspicious.

“Stop overthinking this, Y/N. It’s good that things are easy! You deserve easy!” Jiyoung cut through your rant. You had almost forgotten that you were speaking out loud.

“It’s not just me, he feels the same way.” You pouted, trying to defend your stance.

“Then you both belong together with your stupid ass overthinking.”

--------------------------------------------------

Y/N: Thanks for dinner tonight. I had a really good time.

Namjoon: Me too!

Namjoon: Speaking of, when can I see you again?

Y/N: Wow. We’ve barely digested our food, Joon

Namjoon: You’re mean! I just like hanging out with you

Y/N: I’m kidding! Tuesday?

Namjoon: Suddenly I love Tuesdays

Y/N: Shut up you dork!

Namjoon: Says the girl obsessed with Batman

--------------------------------------------------

Y/N: What the hell! How do you do photoshoots all the time. This is CRINGE.

Namjoon: Is that today? Yes! SEND ME THE PICTURES!!!!

Y/N: Fuck no. These are so awkward!

Namjoon: Come on! Send! I bet you look hot ;)

Y/N: Nope. Never. Never. NEVER.

Namjoon: I’ll just text Jiyoung for them

Y/N: You don’t even have her number

Y/N: Do you?

Y/N: KIM NAMJOON ANSWER ME

--------------------------------------------------

Namjoon: Did I leave my phone at your place last night?

Y/N: I don't think so

Namjoon: I can’t believe I lost my phone again!!!

Y/N: Wait how are you texting me right now?

Namjoon: … nvm

Y/N: Omg. You're an idiot.

--------------------------------------------------

Y/N: Okay that hike was harder than you said it’d be!

Y/N: I’m dying :(

Namjoon: Aw baby. I’m sorry!

Y/N: You owe me. You’re paying for my masseuse

Namjoon: Why pay for one when I’m better than any you’ll ever get?

--------------------------------------------------

Y/N: I miss you :(

Namjoon: I miss you too

Y/N: Come over?

Namjoon: I have to wake up at 6 for a shoot :(

Y/N: I wake up at 6 every day

Namjoon: On my way

--------------------------------------------------

Namjoon: How’s work going?

Y/N: Terrible :) I hate my life :)

Namjoon: You’re scary when you send emojis like that

Y/N: Wow. Thank you. You’re so nice to me.

Namjoon: Sorry!

Namjoon: What’s stressing you?

Y/N: Just deadlines… SO MANY DEADLINES

Namjoon: Aw baby. Have you eaten? I can come by with food

Y/N: Aren’t you busy? You have your comeback in a few months

Namjoon: Nah. I got the rest of the day off

Y/N: That’s… suspicious... Why?

Namjoon: I’m at the hospital

Y/N: WTF. I’m calling. Pick up.

--------------------------------------------------

You checked yourself out in the reflective elevator doors, as you helped Harry adjust his tie, while Siwon rattled on about the restaurant you were headed to. Harry and you had been dodging your “celebratory” drinks with Mr Li for over a month and a half since the meeting where he signed the contract. He finally trapped you both during a networking event last week and had you set the date. To say you were both very much not looking forward to this evening would be an understatement. It took every ounce of willpower in you to stay as you made your way to your private table at the high end Japanese restaurant.

Mr Li, as per usual, was late to the dinner he had forced upon you. Sitting next to Harry, you both tried to devise a plan to escape as soon as possible. As soon as dinner ended, Harry was going to pretend that Jen was ill and since he was your ride back, you both had no choice but to “begrudgingly” end the night. The idea was foolproof, or so the both of you thought.

Here is a list of reasons why it was not foolproof.

One, upon arrival, Mr Li ordered shots for the table and after Harry used the excuse that he was driving you both home (you wanted to set it up so it wouldn’t be a surprise as you left), Mr Li got excited that you would be his new drinking buddy. He poured shot after shot, even after you mentioned that you were going to get a drink - hoping to rely on your ice tea in a whiskey glass trick - he refused to let you not drink anything other than shots of sake. Usually, you wouldn’t let someone dictate your drinking but you didn’t want to seem rude, and so you played along till you felt much too tipsy.

Two, Mr Li requested your server to stagger the dinner courses since it was a “night of partying” and as the third course of sashimi was served, he took the liberty of sitting next to you because apparently your fish looked fresher. He then proceeded to steal from your plate while making uncomfortable eye contact with you and putting his gross hands on your thigh. When you removed his hand from your thigh he had the audacity to suggest that you were playing hard to get. The urge to vomit had never been stronger.

Three, and this is where everything falls apart. When at the end of dinner, the lovely Jen calls to bail you and Harry out, Mr Li insists that Harry drives back alone and that he drives you home. Somehow, you both had not thought of this very basic flaw in your plan. With you running out of excuses, it was soon evident that you had no choice but to stay. You knew Harry, and you knew that he would call no less than ten minutes later with an emergency on your own or get Siwon out of bed to run to you. He would rescue you, you had faith. In the meantime you had to endure a drunk Mr Li trying to hit on you.

Time seemed to move slow as he drunkenly asked you if you had a boyfriend. Knowing his misogynistic self, you should’ve lied and said yes, the only thing he would probably understand would be that another man had a claim on you, but your tipsy self thought honesty was the best policy. As soon as you said no, it seemed that he took it as an invite, pulling you into an awkward hug, grabbing at your ass, trying to lift you to his seat. His movements were so swift that it left you momentarily paralyzed. You felt ice in your veins as the intense feeling of your personal space being so blatantly violated took over you. It felt as if a million ants were crawling under your skin, your stomach turning. You tried to get out of his grip but it was too strong, as he continued to massage your behind. You felt trapped, your mouth running dry, as anger took over. You were done being polite.

With a strong shove, you stood up from your seat and grabbed your jacket as you looked at him straight in the eye, hoping your glare was enough to get the message across. It was not.

“Come on Y/N. I signed such a big contract for you the least you could do is suck me off.” He stared at you sleazily, the liver spot above his eyebrow moving up and down as he wagged them.

“I’m sorry Mr Li, but this is very inappropriate. I’m going to leave.” You were nicer than your instincts were telling you to be. If he wasn’t your client, you would have already kicked him in the balls or better yet broken his nose, although knowing this creep, he’d probably have a kink for it.

“You’re a fucking bitch you know that?” He spat, his words filled with venom.

“Excuse me?” Each moment that you stayed in this room, made you angrier, the rage pumping itself through you, ringing in your ears.

“You think you’re successful because you’re smart? Don’t kid yourself, Y/N. Everyone knows that your clients only sign because they think you’ll fuck them.” He scoffed.

You knew if you stayed there longer, you would surely ruin this contract for your company, if not get sued for punching his ugly little face in so you grabbed your phone and bag and made your way out of the restaurant, tossing a curt goodbye his way.

Your vision was dark as you made your way through the streets. You were so enraged you were shaking. You knew what would fix this. Cigarettes. Without a second thought you made your way into the nearest convenience store, grabbing a bottle of soju and a pack, before walking to your favourite place - the rooftop of your office building.

--------------------------------------------------

You sat at the roof, contemplating the earlier events, the cigarette pack in hand. You hated how you felt in this moment. Powerless. There was no other word for it. You hated feeling small and insignificant. You had built your life up in a way that ensured you wouldn’t have to deal with these feelings but here you were at almost midnight, searching the faint stars in the sky for serenity.

Anger coursed through your veins as you tried to steel yourself, fists clenching hard enough for red semicircles to be engraved on your palms. Sometimes you hated being a woman. What gave anyone the right to dismiss your hard work and accomplishments because they valued your tits more. You were coursing with negativity, your mouth tasting of poison, as you chugged the soju. You still felt his slimy hands on your ass and his words echoed through your mind. If only your deal was not at stake you would’ve kicked him so hard in the balls, he’d never be able to reproduce. The world is much too beautiful to have his offsprings tainting it.

You usually don’t let these things affect you as much. It’d be a lie to say these moments were few and far in between. In fact, they took place more often than you’d like to remember. The amount of men who had dismissed you or called you being a CEO a great “marketing move in today’s PC world” was astronomical. You would usually brush them off and pretend they never happened, never letting it affect you, but something about the way he sneered made you so vulnerable that for a minute you let your guard down and believed him.

“You think you’re successful because you’re smart? Don’t kid yourself, Y/N. Everyone knows that your clients only sign because they think you’ll fuck them.” You snapped a cigarette in half, watching the contents sprinkle out of the white casing as you rolled it in your fingers and coaxed a bigger mess. You tossed it across the floor, watching the wind pick up the light scraps and scatter them around like confetti. What a great celebration, you thought as you rolled your eyes.

“Y/N…?” you heard Namjoon call from behind you.

You regretted messaging him after your dinner. You didn’t even know why you had told him. He was not your boyfriend, technically he wasn’t even your friend. You had only gone on a few dates, and although you felt closer to him than you had anybody you had dated in a long while, you were not ready for him to see you this way. It had barely been over a month and a half. You didn’t feel confident enough to face him. The Y/N he knew was the successful, flirty, witty version you had worked hard to portray. You don’t know how he would react to this self-hating mess of you. Maybe he’d run away. You deserved that much. Hell, maybe he didn’t even buy the version you showed him, only here for the tits. You were bitter.

“I’m sorry you came all this way. I’m fine, you can go home.” You couldn’t face him - not in this state. You stared at your hands, deepening the crescents on your palm as if willing the skin to break. You saw his shoes in front of you, unlaced blue Nikes, attached to blue striped pajama pants with cartoon koalas. Had you forced him to get out of bed? You felt a bubble of guilt rise within your chest. You were such a shitty person to bring him into this. He deserved better than to be on a cold rooftop on a Friday night in the middle of his comeback preparations.

You were ready to ask him leave again as you heard him settle next to you. You looked up at his face, his eyes softened with concern behind his wide rimmed glasses as he sat crossed leg, his hands in his lap. You opened the pack to grab another cigarette, snapping it in half again and tossing it half heartedly across the floor. You felt defeated, the emotional exhaustion of the night weighing on your shoulders.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked softly, his voice almost a whisper.

“I don’t know,” you said, matching his volume. There was no one here and it’s not like anyone could hear you off of this fifty storey building, but somehow you only had the strength to whisper.

“Take your time” he answered. He looked like he meant it. He sat there looking at you, giving you space. His phone buzzed a few times and he ignored it. Instead, he just patiently looked at you, his face neutral for what felt like hours.

Somehow his patience gave you courage to open up, and you told him the events of the night. He never interrupted, or even moved. The only way you’d know he was not suddenly a statue was by the way his jaw slowly tensed as you got to the reason you were so upset, all your doubts and insecurities filling the air in a tumble of fast spoken words.

“I don’t even know why this is making me so angry. It is not like this is the first time this has happened to me.” You chuckled dryly as you looked up at him. He looked angry and you felt nervous. Perhaps you shared too much. You wouldn’t blame him for getting angry at how stupid your reason was for getting him out of bed.

“What’s his name?” he asked, his eyes narrowed. You were surprised at his question. This was the first time he spoke since you started talking about twenty minutes ago.

“Why?”

“I’m going to kill him.” He said flatly, eye ablaze and jaw set.

“Joon…” you trailed, unsure what to say. He wasn’t unjustified in his threat. On your way to the roof, you yourself had devised about a thousand ways to get away with murder.

“No. He’s an asshole and I’m going to kill him for making you feel this way.” He looked less angry now, and more upset, sighing as he looked at you. You chuckled humorlessly. His comment made you feel better, made you feel less alone and stupid for wanting to take your anger out at the perpetuator. At least you’d have someone to carry the body with if you decided to act on your homicidal fantasies.

“Can I give you a hug?” He asked tentatively, his hand reached towards you as he turned looking at you closely. as if worried you might snap at him.

“Joon, you don’t have to ask,” you murmured as you scooted closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. He reacted immediately, pulling you into him tightly, his chin over your head. Your face was pressed against his chest and you inhaled his woodsy scent, feeling instantly more calm.

“I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. A man touched you without your permission and I didn’t know how you felt about being close to another today.” He whispered against your hair, kissing the top of your head. Your heart instantly warmed, tears pricking your eyes. No one had ever been this considerate to you before, so respectful. The fact that he thought you might feel uncomfortable around him just because of that asshole made your heart break. You pushed out of the hug and cupped his face.

“Don’t you dare compare yourself to that asshole.” You were angry that not only did that sorry excuse for a man made you feel small, he made Namjoon feel like you wouldn’t want him.

“And don’t you dare feel like you’re not worthy because of that asshole.” He kissed your forehead gently before bringing you into another bone-crushing hug, momentarily knocking the air out of your lungs. His words made you feel warm, and brought a lump to your throat. It felt oddly cathartic to have the man you had come to admire tell you you were enough. You felt the tears you had been holding in all night escape slowly. You held him tighter as his t-shirt became your makeshift tissue, silently crying for what felt like hours while he stroked your hair gently.

When you could talk again without your voice breaking, you broke the embrace. His shirt was stained with your tears and mascara, and suddenly you felt very awkward for your blatant display of emotions.

“I’m sorry I called you here so late,” you apologized sheepishly, realizing how late it was and how silly you felt for making him jump out of bed.

“Please don’t apologize. I’m glad you called me.” He wiped your face of the tears that had failed to be absorbed by the t-shirt, smiling slightly as he leaned in to give you another peck on your forehead.

“You’re in your pajamas,” you pointed out, laughing slightly, wanting to remove some of the awkwardness you felt at having bawled in front of him for so long.

“I didn’t want to keep you waiting for too long.” He shrugged, giving you a smile that melted your heart. You had realized this before but it dawned on you again that to you Namjoon was comfort. He was like a warm blanket to cozy under in a cool room, keeping the monsters at bay.

You reached out and kissed him, slowly pulling him in by his shirt, avoiding his glasses as you tilted your head. The kiss was gentle - it was sweet and warm. Unlike the passionate ones you had shared before, ones that would light you on fire, this was comfortable, like a bonfire rather than a forest fire. His lips were chapped against yours and his tongue tasted like toothpaste as he smiled against your lips.

“You didn’t smoke!” He exclaimed when you separated, pulling you into another hug, his arms around your head. The pride in his voice made you laugh.

“I told you, I don’t smoke anymore,” you commented as you grinned against his chest.

“Then what’s the pack for?” He seemed puzzled.

“Oh… I was going to but I didn’t want to break my two year streak.” You shrugged. He beamed at you as he pulled you in for another kiss, taking his time to taste you. It felt like he was savouring you, his fingers tangled in your hair on the nape of your neck and his other hand placed gently on your waist.

When you came up for air he giggled, his forehead against yours. “I’m proud of you for not breaking your streak,” he said, making your cheeks flare at his sincerity. “Let’s get you home.”

“Do you want to walk instead of grabbing a cab?”

“Always.” He held your hand as you both stand up and make your way downstairs.

You noticed him shivering slightly as you exited the building and it finally dawned on you that he was dressed in just a t-shirt. It was not the middle of winter but it was certainly too chilly for not wearing a sweater. You couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt in your chest as you were currently dressed in not one but two sweaters. Stopping him, you took off your oversized sweater and handed it to him.

“What are you doing?” He looked at you, confused as you pushed the sweater in his hands.

“You seem cold.”

“That’s supposed to be my move.” He laughed.

“Hey I’m wearing like two sweaters! Plus, I feel bad about dragging you out here and forcing you to walk.” You looked at your shoes, suddenly feeling shy.

“Don’t feel bad, baby.” He lifted your chin up to place a quick peck on your lips after looking around to make sure no one's walking by on the deserted street. “Also, I don’t think this will fit me.” He chuckled, pushing his frames further up his nose.

“It’s oversized! Just try it, you’re shivering!”

“I’m an oversized human!” He exclaimed but started to put his arms through the sleeves. The sweater looked hilariously small on his frame, even with only one sleeve on. As he zipped it up, it resembled a rashguard more than a sweater, his t-shirt flaring out from the bottom, the material straining against his arms and back. The stress of the night washed away as you doubled over in laughter, your face streaking with new joyous tears at the sight.

“See I told you it was too small!” He grinned sheepishly.

“This is amazing, you look great Joonie” you managed to wheeze out in between your laughter.

At that he took your hand and walked the ten blocks to your apartment. The night was filled with a comfortable silence broken only by little musings as you both took in the quiet surroundings of the financial district after hours. As you neared your street, Namjoon broke the silence once again.

“Why did you message me tonight?” His voice was contemplative, as his thumb grazed yours.

“I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have” You earlier guilt was surfacing again, as you thought about why you told him what happened when usually the first person you’d tell in this situation would be Jiyoung or Harry.

“I told you - I’m glad you did. I was just curious why.”

“I… I don’t know. You’re the first person I wanted to see.” You sighed, getting uncomfortable with the line of questioning. You didn’t want him to ask why he was the first person you thought of because you weren’t ready to be even more vulnerable tonight, not ready to admit the space he had made in your heart over the last month. He was quiet for a few moments, his eyebrows scrunched in concentration as if he were solving a complex math problem, before he spoke.

“Do you remember when I sprained my wrist and had to go to the hospital a few weeks ago?” You didn’t expect this subject change, but gladly welcomed it.

“Yeah…”

“Well… you’re the first person I wanted to see then too. I mean before I knew it was just a sprain and I was panicking.” He squeezed your hand in his as you both exited the elevator on to your hallway, and looked at you, his gaze soft. “What do you think that means?”

“That we’re even?” You smiled, hoping to break this unknown tension that had come between you all of a sudden as you stopped at your door. You fumbled with your keycode, having to enter the password twice before making your way inside, Namjoon following behind you, as you both slipped out of your shoes and into slippers. Before you could leave the entryway, he gently held on your elbow to stop you, fixing you with another one of his soft gazes and a smile that made your heart flutter.

“I was thinking it means that you’re my girlfriend.” You could hear your heart rev up as you looked at him for any signs of teasing. There were none. Usually you would respond back with something along the lines of him never asking, but with the night you had just had all you could think about was how happy you were to finally call him yours. Without further hesitation you wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him into a kiss, which after a little surprise, he returned. It was reminiscent of the first time you had kissed, but this time instead of awkward butterflies, your heart was filled with a comfortable glow. His lips were familiar against yours and his scent wrapped your senses in a warm cocoon.

“Mmm… Boyfriend.” you said against his lips, grinning, as he kissed you again, his hands under your thighs as he lifted you and carried you to bed, surprisingly avoiding bumping into the doorframe this time.

That night as you slept under the projected milky way on your ceiling with his breath tickling your ear as he snored lightly, you felt yourself give Namjoon a part of your heart you had hidden away for a very long time.

-------------------

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#bts fanfic #rm x reader #rm smut #rm fluff #namjoon x reader #namjoon fluff #bts namjoon #namjoon x you #namjoon smut #bts fic #bts x reader #bts rm scenario #bts namjoon scenario #bts x y/n #bts smut #bangtan sonyeondan

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opbackgrounds · 4 years

Note

I would love it if you did a post on Brook and why he is awesome

Okay, so first things, like Robin, my love for Brook is in no way objective. I love music, and as a kid I took lessons for violin, piano, viola, and cello. I know how to sing an alto line and will listen to just about anything once, just to know what it sounds like. There are few things that give me more joy than learning about new artists or interments. I’m going to get into this more once we hit the Skypiea arc, but One Piece has a surprising musicality for a medium that doesn’t convey sound. Yes, the anime exists, but Oda has gone out of his way to make music an important part of a story that’s originally nothing but paper and ink, and I think that’s something that’s worth talking about.

More than that, I’ve been a nurse for almost ten years now, and I’ve worked that entire time in long term care. My entire career is based around taking care of old people, and in some ways Brook reminds me of some of the residents I’ve had, many of whom have passed on.

Most shonen series are focused on characters who are kids. It makes sense—they’re the same age as the target audience, and therefore easy to relate to. Heck, the first six crew members are teenagers when they’re introduced, and I’m sure that was intentional on Oda’s part.

But since then, each new Straw Hat Pirate has been an adult, with adult circumstances and problems. Brook, in particular, deals with trauma that is almost always unique to his stage of life.

There is a specific type of grief that comes with aging that’s hard to describe unless you deal with it every day. It’s quieter, less noticeable to the point other people tend to forget about it unless you bring it up. Which in turn tends to exacerbate everyone around you, because why should you still be sad that your siblings died 15 years ago, or your last surviving friend just got diagnosed with cancer, or you’re not able to do the things you once enjoyed because of your arthritis? You’re old. That’s what happens to old people.

(As an aside, I think we as a culture could stand to be nicer to the elderly, but that’s a topic for another day.)

Brook is an old man. He has literally died and come back to life and has outlived everyone he knew from Before. The tragedy of his story isn’t a punch in the gut like it is for a lot of One Piece flashbacks, but the slowly dawning horror when you realize that he was alone for fifty years.

Fifty. Years.

I wrote on my main once about how Brook’s backstory and induction into the crew is written differently than the other Straw Hats (https://creative-type.tumblr.com/post/166349846101/tragedy-without-melodrama). His flashback comes at the very end of Thriller Bark, after the climax of the story. Imagine getting Robin’s backstory after “I wanna live” or Nami’s after the walk to Arlong Park. It just doesn’t work.

That’s because Brook’s flashback is about closure. The audience already knows his connection to Laboon. We already know how he came to be a skeleton. We already know why his ‘fro is so important to him. We know all there is to know, so Oda lets the Rumbar Pirates have their swan song with grace and dignity, allowing Brook to move seamlessly into his second chance at life.

There are three Straw Hats that deal with the theme of loneliness in some way: Chopper, Robin, and Brook. Chopper was rejected, Robin persecuted, and Brook was physically isolated. There’s no doubting that sailing alone on a broken ship with nothing but the bones of his dead friends for company took its toll (I for one don’t think Brook’s completely sane) but despite struggling with his burden of loneliness the longest, Brook doesn’t have the angst Robin and Chopper suffered through during their main arcs. He has somehow remained unflinchingly, relentlessly positive and optimistic, despite having every reason not to be. He says it best during his introduction—He’s just glad to be alive.

And again, maybe it’s because I deal with the elderly almost every day, but that means something to me. Getting old isn’t for the faint of heart, and while Brook doesn’t have the same ailments that tend to plague most older people, he’s never going to be mistaken as a regular person. He’s a living, breathing (without lungs!) skeleton. He clings to the only bit of him that remains unchanged from his first life because he’s terrified of what might happen if he relinquishes that last bit of normalcy, but he doesn’t obsess about what he’s lost. Instead he tries new things, makes new friends, goes out on a new adventure. Brook isn’t content to just be alive, he wants to truly live.

It’s this mindset that helps us understand his role in the crew. There is nothing about Brook that is necessary. He’s a swordsmen whose skills pale to Zoro’s. The Straw Hats made it 400 chapters without him, and they could have gone 400 more if they had to. His dream in no way affects the main plot. But the Straw Hat Pirates without Brook is like life without music. Sure, you can get by, but he makes the good times better and the difficult times a little bit easier to bear, both with his music and by simple virtue of who he is as a person.

I want to be Brook when I’m 90 years old. Heck, I’d consider it a win if I could be half as positive as he is. I’m so thankful Oda decided to include him in his story, because I think kids need to be exposed to characters who aren’t aren’t their age.

There’s so much more I could cover here, but this is getting pretty long so I’ll end by saying I think Brook’s powers are cool as hell and I laugh at his stupid puns more often than I should. To see his progression from Thriller Bark to the confidence he displayed during Whole Cake Island was a delight, and I hope he gets more time to shine in Wano. I mean what good is getting old if you don’t use your privilege to sass Emperors?

And, no, his panty jokes to bother me. Like I said, my love for Brook is irrational, and I think he’s hilarious. I bet he’s got a collection of them hidden away somewhere from fan girls, and you know what? Good for him.

#one piece #opbackgrounds #brook #long post #the only thing that would make Brook better is if Oda gave him a photoplayer #this is the hill I have chosen to die on #Please Oda I am begging you #sarc talks

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tuiyla · 2 years

Note

I’m curious, if you’ve seen/have any thoughts on these other wlw ships?

Villanelle from Killing Eve

Clexa from 100

Cazzie from Atypical

Choni from Riverdale

Calzona from Greys Anatomy

Rules from Euphoria

Sanvers from Supergirl

Shoni from The Wilds

That's a good mix! Heard about all of them, know them to varying degrees.

Villanelle

You know I've been meaning to watch Killing Eve, seems like something I'd be into. All I know is that there's tension and they probably wanna kill each other? I'm sure it's the kind of ship many would call toxic but hey. I'll get around to watching this show eventually, the chemistry between the actors looks great.

Clexa

Oh, I was there. I remember it all too well. I followed most of The 100 as it came out but almost always followed the fandom with a detached sort of interest. I liked Clexa; I wasn't had over heels, I feel like I would have needed more time for that which they infamously never got. But it was a really cool dynamic and a huge piece of fandom history. I wrote a bit about Clexa but mostly the aftermath of Lexa's death for my dissertation and I know others have done so as well.

Cazzie

Love Cazzie! I've been following Atypical since season 1 and always got queer vibes from Casey so I was so down when Izzie was introduced in s2. I'm a big sucker for their kind of dynamic and thought they were super fun and sweet. The bike scene in season 4? Ughhh super cute. Izzie was a great addition to the show and her s4 scenes in particular were poignant. And again just great chemistry.

Choni

Oh boy, freaking Riverdale. Ironically watching this show used to be fun but now it's too off the rails. Seriously who keeps greenlighting this. Sex sells I guess. Anyway before I go on a Riverdale rant, Choni. I really liked them in season 2, again it’s the kind of dynamic I eat up and stuff like “you’re sensational” was very good. And then you know, the whole show became impossible to take seriously in any way and so I can’t really think of it or Choni as anything substantial. But I liked them and thought they were some of the best parts of even the most bonkers episodes. I can see why people are drawn to them.

Calzona

So here’s the thing, even though I haven’t watched or kept up with Grey’s Anatomy in any way for more than a decade now, they kind of have a special place in my heart. I’m pretty sure Calzona was the first ever wlw ship I saw on TV, in any media. It’s sure as hell the first I remember. And that was kinda special because we used to watch Grey’s as a family and you know, representation matters partly because it normalizes. Callie was one of my favourite characters (along with Lexie) and it was all very new and interesting to me. So even though I don’t keep up with the series in any capacity they remain dear to my heart.

Rules

I haven’t watched Euphoria, yet, and don’t know much about them just like with Villanelle. One half of the ship is Zendaya, right? It looks like a heavy sort of series that I need to be in the right mindset for so I haven’t gotten around to it yet. But I heard good things so go Rules, go Euphoria.

Sanvers

In a way, I started watching Supergirl because of Sanvers. As mentioned above, I loved Lexie in Grey’s so when I saw that Chyler Leigh was playing a lesbian now I Gay Migrated to Supergirl as season 2 was airing. Alex’s season 2 journey was really well done and Sanvers were a great duo. Again as with Clexa I wasn’t in love with them, not because they aren’t great but just cause for me personally it wasn’t OTP material. But it still sucked when Maggie left and I do miss those earlier days of Supergirl. It was handled as well as it could have been though. And how great is it that we got a “coming out in your 30s” story, more of that please.

Shoni

Sounds like Choni huh. Everything I know about The Wilds is second-hand from tumblr and nowhere else, and though I’ve heard that shipname and the individual names I couldn’t tell you who those two are exactly. Blonde and a brunette? Probably. I should really check The Wilds out eventually but yeah, can’t say much about it now. You tell me anon, what are your thoughts on this and/or other wlw ships?

#anon #ask #anonymous #some of that was a trip down memory lane and i thank you for that #reminds me of the gay migration as a phenomenon #not that you were asking but i'd rank cazzie first out of these #my thoughts

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stiles-o-dylan24 · 3 years

Note

Hiii, sorry to bother you, I hope you doing well and are safe

, I wanna do a rewrite of an series, do you have any tips you can share, please?

If you don't wanna then it is fine.🤗

Hey friend💛 thank you, I’m doing well and doing my best to stay safe and I hope you are as well! You’re never a bother and I don’t mind at all to offer my writing tips!

I wrote down things below the cut that helped me the most and I tried to be as organized with them as I could, so I hope these help and I’m always happy to answer any other questions or help in any way!

Character & Relationships

First thing I would say is to map out your character that you’re adding in to the show.

Who they are, if you’re going with an OC or a reader insert, and if they’re going to be related to a canon character or if your character is going to have their own family that you’re also going to be creating

What kind of relationships, romantic or otherwise, they will have with canon characters.

Romantic relationships- map out how the ultimate endgame relationship will go: slow burn/enemies to lovers/friends to lovers.

Have distinguished scenes that will set the pace for whichever of these tropes you go with to be believable.

Figure out what you absolutely love when reading those tropes and how you can give that same pace to your characters, making sure to include the angst/longing/frustration/soft pure adorableness/body language light touches that makes those tropes so freaking amazing

Knowing all of this beforehand will ideally help figure out how involved in the scenes you want your character to be. Which I personally think it’s important to brainstorm and actually put thought into reshaping the scenes with your character first, as it will really make it believable to imagine that your character was always in canon and not just put in a scene because you, as the author, say so.

I’ve read one rewrite in particular where the author obviously didn’t think about that with their reader insert character and it really showed. That caused it to feel annoyingly forced and after three seasons not enjoyable to read for me because it never felt like the reader was supposed to be there and I stopped reading it.

I know I view rewrites differently than most people but, to me, if you’re going to take on a rewrite that means you’re altering canon, at least a little bit, for the story to make sense for a new character to be added in like they were there all along. So why not change relationships and morph the story to include someone who in my opinion, and yours since you’re wanting to rewrite it, was definitely missing from the show?

Transcripts/Scene layout

So once you have a good idea of your character and the relationships you want them to have it’ll make how you alter the script easier.

Try to find transcripts of the episodes as this is incredibly easier than watching the episode with subtitles and pausing every few seconds to copy down how says what in a scene.

Every website with transcripts are usually fan made so as you copy them be warned and keep in mind that

Sometimes who they have saying the line could not always be correct.

Sometimes the line itself is not quite correct to what was actually said

In my case, sometimes the website went away and there’s no data on the page

So for that last bullet point I do suggest, as soon as you find a website with the entire series of transcripts, copying every episode into a separate google doc(or your preferred writing doc).

Yes it takes some time, depending on how many episodes your show has, however it’s so worth it to not have to go back and worry about the webpage being down when you’re starting season 4 (Yes that happened to me and when the page came back up I copied the rest of the series into docs)

Writing POV

More than likely the webpage you’re copying from will copy the entire episode script into one big paragraph. You will have to go through and space it out properly, however, I used that opportunity to watch the episode at the same time that I was spacing the dialogue.

which helped in checking that what the transcripts had was correctly copied

the right person was saying what the transcripts had and if not I could quickly change the character

if you’re writing in 1st person you should also use this opportunity to take out scenes that obviously your character wouldn’t/couldn’t logically be in

though I also suggest trying to keep scenes that you feel are necessary to keep the overall story together to be read in a cohesive way.

You can alternate to 3rd person or you could have your character do a story time to the readers in an inner monologue type of way or have them/another character explain what happened in a little recap.

I mean your audience, for the majority, has probably watched the whole series and knows what’s happening, but you’re writing a story– why not have it flow as smoothly as if someone was actually watching the series?

To me with writing my series, keeping the overall main story well described was really important.

I made sure to include story times and little summaries of major events my main character wasn’t apart of whenever I could and it paid off because some people had either stopped watching the show or had forgotten what had happened in later seasons and really enjoyed the fact they could still follow along with the main story.

At the same time do not feel overwhelmed with making sure you include every single event or detail.

do whatever you feel is necessary to tell your story with your character as you would like it to be read.

And if you’re writing from 2nd or 3rd person, well you’ll more than likely be rewriting everything anyways so my hat goes off to you my friend.

Dialogue

So once you have the layout of the original episode script go through it and write the scenes with your new character(s) as best as you can from memory, since you just watched the episode while you were spacing out the script lines.

Make the scenes believable and truly feel like your character is supposed to be there by slowing down the need to just cram your character in and instead

Have your character(s) say some of their own lines in between when the canon dialogue lines are spoken

Morph the actual canon dialogue line by either cutting it halfway and having your character(s) finish the line

or have your character(s) say the canon dialogue line and give one of the other characters a new line/a morphed line from another character’s canon line.

Final Writing of the Episode

Once you’ve altered the episode with your character(s) watch the episode again and read through what you have written.

adding in more actions from the characters/facial expressions that may be missing to really make the scene flow more realistically.

This is the process that really worked for me to edit the episodes one by one and I felt like was the most time efficient to getting through an episode.

I think that writing through the episode without watching it and only reading the script helps in not being distracted or feeling rushed to get through a scene.

Last Notes From Me

Personally I would suggest having the first one or two seasons(depending how long they are) already written out in the ways I mentioned above, if possible the final edits done as well, before you publish the first episode.

This will drastically help you as you continue to finish writing the rest of the episodes and keep to the schedule you wish to keep to.

It could also help you in making sure that you have added in everything you possibly wanted to add in to later episodes.

Also help you see that the timeline of a relationship is going exactly as you would like it to.

There’s nothing worse than getting overwhelmed with a posting schedule and it causing you to rush through an episode and you leave out a key plot point that needed to happen for something you wanted to happen later on be exactly as you originally envisioned it happening.

Remember to have fun with this whole process and don’t forget that you’re telling your story for you more than anyone. You feel like something is missing and this is your opportunity to write something you will want to read.

Yes the interaction is fun and helps you get through the moments of ‘is this worth it’, however you also need to write for you. Create something you will want to read to fill that space in your mind of what’s missing when you’re watching the show/reading other people’s rewrites.

Again this is all just my advice and is to be taken with a grain of salt. You need to do things in a way that works for you! What I did was really beneficial to me and my work schedule plus my mindset for what I wanted to bring to my rewrite. It may not work for you so if it doesn’t just be patient with yourself and you’ll find your way.

Hopefully through my long ramble of a message I answered your questions or gave you some form of insight. If I did not or you still have more questions please don’t hesitate to send me another message!

I am here if you need anything– to vent, run ideas by, a beta reader, literally anything- and I absolutely love rewrites, so please tag me in yours🤗

Good luck and I hope you have so much fun taking on a series rewrite!

#series rewrite tips #Ellie answers #writing tips #sweet nonnie words

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nanachingu · 4 years

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Drama Review: Go Ahead (Chinese Drama)

Wow! An achievement for me. Writing a review for Chinese drama. Never thought that this time would come. Actually, I watched many dramas from many countries, like I watched a little Japanese drama and Thai series too. I always search for Chinese drama if I need drama who have light, fun, cheesy romance vibe, and didn’t have too much bad characters in it. That’s always my mindset for Chinese drama. This few weeks or month? I didn’t found any K-dramas that interesting and I was too reluctant to watch any Kdramas. So I was trying to watch several Chinese Drama that got into my bucket list and starting available in Netflix. Several dramas that I watch before this were Go Go Squid (before found this drama, I think this is the best Chinese drama I’ve ever watched), Le Coup de Foudre, Wait My Youth, My Girl, etc. Till I found this drama on Youtube. Go Ahead not a cliche drama that I can guess where it’ll be heading. Many characters who really bad, tragic fate, heartbreaking story, but also warm family story, friendship, and love.

First impression from the cover on thumbnail, hm interesting. good. handsome. Picture below was my first impression. What happened with 2 dads and 3 kids?

Turns out it’s a story about 2 family with no mothers (of course look at the picture!) cared for them, and their dads start to take care of each other and took their 3 kids into siblings with no blood related. Let me introduce you the biggest Gēgē (brother), Ling Xiao the tallest, second Gēgē, He Ziqiu on the right, and little Meimei, Li JianJian, with Ling Dad sitting on the left and Li Dad on the right. Ling Xiao and his parents (yes his Mom) moved into Li family neighborhood. Li JianJian mother’s was dead so Li Dad needs to take care of Li Jianjian by himself. AND he DID really really great job as a father and mom for her. Li Dad was an angel I swear. One day, He Gēgē came to Li’s family because of the circumstances and Li Dad make a decision to take care of him as his own son. Ling Gēgē also left by his mother because of their family problems and I think their mom personal problem. Really, something wrong with his mother’s mind and attitude. I hate her. Because of Ling dad who always busy as a policeman, Ling Gēgē always playing and take care by Li Dad and they agree to take care and treat each other as a real families. It’s become Li Jianjian’s dream for having a big brother and now she got 2 instantly.

They grew up together, really taking care of each other, everytime and everywhere. You’ll get a warm hearted by watching their flashback story. A happy family eventhough they don’t have a mother. I really admire Li Jianjian how she always been cheerful and never feel so little in front of other people. It’s because she already have 2 big brothers that really love her and treasure her. No it’s not over, it’s just starting. When the problems always coming and make this sibling must separated and become far away. JianJian really broke my heart when saw her crying and can’t accept that both her Gēgē will leave her alone. After all this years they’ve been together, how they take care each other, and love each other, they must back to their family who abandoned them. Why she must through this hardship and accept that when it’s the outsiders who left her brothers since they were little. They really separated for a long time, for years, and when they reunited it’s become really awkward moment for them. They become a strangers after all this years. 9 years. When the communication slowly dissapeared. When they didn’t know what to talk about and just send wishes on birthday, new year, and certain events. They also already becoming a grown up. Ling Gēgē is a dentist, He Gēgē is a pastry chef, and Jianjian is a wood sculptor. Interesting, the brothers job was inspired by their Meimei. Jianjian really loves sweets that made her teeth bad. But at the first place they’re family, they just need a little time and space to accept that they’re together again, get used to it, to become like they used to before.

I was crying when they need to be separated, when Ling Gēgē must through so much problem that makes him become adult really fast. I love how they potray the character when they were teenagers and after becoming an adult. I can see their growth from the pain and many things. I think the brother’s life were really tragic. They were both abandoned by their mothers, and even one of the mother is really selfish. I really love how they put this story one by one, how their relationship growing into another, like yeah two of the siblings decided to change their relationship to lover. This drama is not just about romance, I think not cheesy romance at least but I love Song Wei Long hahaha. But it’s focused on mental health too. How Ling Gēgē in a mental pressure, nsomnia, and anxiety after all the things he must through in his life, far away from Jianjian and his loved family, how He Gēgē always think that he’s owe all his life to Li Family, always worried as he’s not their real families, and all his fear and worries buried by himself. But I love that they have 2 Dads that always support them, always love them without any condition, and it’s funny when the Dads knew that 2 of them are together in love relationship.

But one thing that really make this drama more complicated is the loveline really. It’s like the main role and the support role can’t like each other. (IT’S SPOILER) Ling Gēgē likes Jianjian, Mingyue (Jianjian friend) likes Ling Gēgē, He Gēgē friend likes Mingyue, and Tangcan (Jianjian friend) likes He Gēgē friend. It’s like a relay. Why this drama can’t make the supporting role like each other character?! It’s too sad to see a several times broken heart in this drama. Even He Gēgē intend to marry Jianjian, but I think it’s not because he really loves her as a woman, but it more because he really want become a real family legally with her and Li Dad. I’m happy that Jianjian can handle this situation well. But I like it because the siblings are back together eventough it needs 9 years to reunited but they still the same as long time ago.

Overall I really love this drama because of the conflict, story, and have many messages that we can took from this drama. Especially family problem. I’m sure it will make many people crying because the story focused on family problem and how to deal it as you are getting mature and know that life as an adult is not easy especially if you have a selfish mother haha. For the first time I really love the OST in Chinese drama. Like I said, because of the story I think I’m just too immersed to the OST too. I love the acting too. They can portray their characters really well, especially He Gēgē, I always pity him because he got too many crying scenes hahaha he always sad, he deserves to be happy! Ling Gēgē too. I really fall in love with my first Chinese actor. Okay Song Wei Long you’re in! I’m shocked when I knew that their age difference in real life. Their little Meimei in the drama actually a big sister for the brothers. And the biggest Gēgē in this drama is maknae!!! Song Wei Long is born in 1999. OMG even he’s younger than me hahaha. But they can portray their characters well even I can’t see their age gap in the drama. I wrote this when the drama isn’t over yet. So I hope this drama will find their happy ending and I can’t wait and I can’t guess how’s the ending.

For you who bored for Kdramas or wanna trying something new and wanna try Chinese drama, I think this drama is a must for you! You’ll be no dissapointed. I’ll give this drama rating 4.5 out of 5 stars because I haven’t watch the finale and curious to see how they’ll packed up this drama.

#goahead #song weilong #zhang xincheng #drama #cdrama #chinese #chinesedrama #family #abandoned #friendship #siblings #brother #sliceoflife

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prettywordsyouleft · 3 years

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just read your post that you are disappointed with some of your past writing and i just wanna say that that just shows you have grown as a writer!!! the fact that you can look at past pieces and see how they could be different or better just tells you that you are now more experienced!!! dont be too hard on yourself this is normal and you are a great writer, your stories are so fun to read!!!! appreciate your past writing for what they are: dont judge them too harshly by the standards you hold today 👍🏼 tomorrow you will be better than yesterday as long as you try 🥰🥰❤

In my rambling last night, I didn’t make it specific enough. Granted, it was midnight and I was exhausted when I wrote it so I can’t hold myself at fault for missing the point entirely, lol.

I definitely don’t look back on stories and get disappointed with my journey on a whole and I usually embrace those moments where I’ve not given something my best... or it’s not turned out how I hoped. I am a firm believer we give the best we can at the time, and the fiction I was reading was one I wrote during a challenging health and personal time, so giving it more thought today has stopped my negativity towards it.

What I failed to mention in that post was a timeframe. I was reading the Exposed series the day before (2019 Jinyoung mini-series), and not to sound egotistical, but I was in awe with some of the detail, especially in the first part. The way I continued to convey the inner dialogue had me hooked. I admired my past writing. And again, this has been the case for several stories from 2019. I really had a good writing year that year.

I’m not dismissing my growth or the fact that seasons, personal emotions and experiences change a writer. But when I tried to read Labelling Love last night, I was disappointed. It didn’t hold the same depth, the same reaching into my soul that I thought it did and remembered of it. Which surprised me because I was pretty happy with that story when I wrote it. Again, with clarity today, I was happy to have written anything during that time, so it makes sense why experience at the time versus revisiting it now feel so jarringly different.

2020 held some amazing stories for me that I thoroughly enjoyed but it was also a year where it truly lacked a sense of direction for me and my blog. I struggled a great deal with health, with personal and family concerns, and had a very strained relationship with writing, sometimes a very desperate one too. I’m hopeful this year I will find some of that depth I lost during some moments of my writing, and produce content that make me think fondly of them regardless of the time I look back on them. I am hesitant right now over some of the ideas I have because I crave for them to be as good as the 2018-2019 content I look back on. I can tell this is a illogical mindset that I need to work through.

Thank you for your message all the same. I’m so grateful to have people reach out to me when I do show my insecurities as a writer ready to prop me back up and help guide me through. It truly humbles me and I’m so insanely thankful for your time spent on writing this message <3

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exauhstedsunflower · 3 years

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Hello!! I’ve been a fan of your fics for while and I just wanna talk about how much I really adore your portrayal of Jane in them. (This might become a ramble but I just really do enjoy it)

I know Jane as a character in the show can be a point of contention for some, but in general I always liked Jane and over time I grew to really appreciate her and her song for what it tries to cover (it really does try a lot, i wish it tried more but i still can help but respect it for what it has). Like I knew it was about emotional abuse just through how much it the chorus makes there relationship seem like a battle as well as just how in denial Jane is (that’s what I believe anyway after looking at it a bunch, that she’s in denial and that she doesn’t actually love Henry but feels like she has to). But i never really saw it handled in the fics very much. Sometimes she’s portrayed as an asshole with no problems of a mother figure with no problems (not to say those fics are bad as people can write what they want). Some People just went with the mindset that she was perfectly fine, that she was more sad about her son than anything else (which yeah she was sad about that but it wasn’t the only thing), that she truly loved Henry. And at face value yeah I can see why people wrote that, but I’m the type of person who loves analyzing things for a greater meaning. So I really wanted to see a Jane that was more dynamic and just some acknowledgement at the greater issues that song (sorta cause the original version is actually much more explicit about it all) brings up.

Your fic series in general with all the queens coping with their own traumas is just phenomenal! All of it is and I love how you looked at the queens who typically get the short end of the stick when it comes to talk about those topics (Catalina and Anna especially were very good). But to focus on Jane, that part was super enlightening to me as it not only went with the ideas I had at the time but help me further develop them into my full thoughts! The way you write Jane just clicked so well with me, idk if I can really put it into words. The way she thinks about her legacy and herself were done in such an amazing way, how she constantly goes back and forwards on certain things cause recovery isn’t linear. Just a really wonderful piece of writing (and all your writing is wonderful!)

I apologize for how big this is, but I just really wanted to write and share my thoughts before I forgot or got cold feet. Anyway I hope you have a lovely day!

This is the nicest ask I have ever received and it absolutely made my night last night when I saw it!! However I was way too tired to fully comprehend words properly and I didnt want to respond to it until I could fully appreciate your kindness. So first of all, THANK YOU! Seriously, this is so great to read.

I was admittedly nervous about writing Jane because my take on her is quite different from a lot of what the fandom likes to see from her. But with How Jane Finds Clarity I got such positive feedback it was so relieving.

I also felt like Jane needed more representation for what she went through besides loss. She had to marry Henry too, right after he had her predecessor murdered!!! That would be scary. And her song,,, if you listen to it and actually pay attention you would hear the actual anxiety building up and the true push and pull nature of their relationship. She was scared and trying to hold onto being 'in love'. She had to be in love. Without that where would she be? Probably dead. She says it so often in the song that it sounds as if shes trying to convince herself.

AND she can be guilty and angry at Anne at the same time. She is a person, people have complicated feelings. I love making characters act more like real people would, and a person with that much baggage would react to her trauma, not just be sad or just flat out rude for no reason.

Also that whole series was very much about how recovery is not linear. I'm so so happy that you enjoyed it. Especially because whilst writing Jane's part I was so sure I wasnt doing it well enough. You have no idea how many times I rewrote every chapter!

I love love love long in depth comments and asks about anything I do. Never apologize for it being too long! The longer it is the happier it makes me tbh. Again thank you so so much.

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out-of-this-dimension · 4 years

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Hey you've been quiet for awhile, everything okay?

So I had this huge thing typed up then Tumblr deleted it in typical Tumblr fashion. I’m gonna be posting a bit of a brief version of what the OG draft said under the cut. I wanna be up front about this because I think it’s something that everyone in fandom spaces encounters at some point:

I am absolutely going to preface this by saying that I’m not upset at anyone and no one really caused this except me. I have some issues I gotta work out so I’m doing my best to work them out.

I’ve been a bit distant on all social media for two reasons. I guess you could say I’ve been feeling a bit weird about Star Fox, though more specifically my own contributions to the fandom. I’ve been feeling a bit disappointed in my SF-related works (fics, theories, headcanons-- although the fics have been the biggest thing lately) and a bit in myself as well. I started to feel probably around January that my works were starting to get a bit... stale. Like maybe I was being a bit redundant in my writing, maybe my headcanons weren’t as interesting as other people’s, etc. I do write mostly for myself and for my own satisfaction-- don’t get me wrong, I didn’t come up with these headcanons and stories for the purposes of getting “attention” or anything like that. I wrote them because I wanted to. But I started... slipping into a bad mindset about it. A toxic mindset. I started comparing views/comments/likes on my stuff to other people’s works on sites like AO3 and FF.net. And there were times when I’d read these fics that had huge followings and I’d be upset. And what’s stupid is I’d read them knowing I’d probably get upset because I’d read them and I’d feel like I’d put more effort into my stuff than this other random person put into their stuff. Talk about yikes, right?

And I don’t like to think of myself as a bad person but what I was doing was very bad. And very toxic. And I realized it was turning me into a person that was irritable and judgmental.

I also started getting worried that I was being too pushy with my ideas in fandom spaces. I am aware that there are Discord servers out there that I’m not a part of that have talked about my theories and headcanons... and that level of “fame” (I mean is anyone in this fandom really famous LOL) had me worried that maybe people were taking everything I said and like... treating me like a Lore Authority, which I’m definitely not! I may research stuff but tbh, I’ve gotten stuff wrong before-- it happens. And that fear kind of made me think that maybe I was being pushy, in a sense. When people talk about their headcanons regarding a character, sometimes I wanna talk about mine too because they inspire me... I felt like maybe I was being a bad listener. And I was getting worried that people were looking at my headcanon posts and just assuming that because I’m passionate, I was trying to be that Lore Authority figure that I definitely am not. I’m so scared of coming across that way because I don’t want to stifle other people’s creativity and make them think that if they’re “around me”, then they have to adopt a certain set of ideas for the series-- I’ve been around people like that, trust me, it’s awful. That’s why I made that post ehhhh a month or so ago about it being okay if an idea doesn’t vibe with you. I never want people to feel that they have to agree with me every time. I like invoking conversation, not dominating it and I got scared I was dominating.

So overall, both of those things kinda left me feeling a bit bad regarding the fandom and I thought it would be best to pull away from social media for a bit. I’m steadily getting over this funk I’ve been in. I just need to figure myself out before I engaged with other people because I want to make sure I’m in a healthy mindset.

So uh here’s the tl;dr for that segment -- I was worried I was being pushy and I was feeling inadequate and maybe boring and I was doing a bad thing by comparing myself to other people. I feel like just about everyone who creates content goes through this in some way shape or form... so I just wanted to be candid about it.

The second reason I’ve been gone is less depressing and less of me being a dumbass. I’ve been working on an original novel since mid-February. The idea literally hit me at 3am one night and I started writing. It’s... pretty much consumed most of my focus, I won’t lie. If I write, it’s usually on this novel and I spend probably minimum 3hrs a day on it. It’s sitting at 70k words atm with two chapters left before the first draft is concluded and editing begins. And after that? Probably will start looking for a literary agent!

I... can’t even verbalize how excited I am about this project. I’ve had lots of characters I’ve created that I’ve felt very attached to but this particular cast feels like it has something special. They’re near and dear to my heart and so is the story. I’ve been enjoying the realization that every headcanon I make about these characters is canon because I’m the creator. Oh the power.

Anyways, I do apologize for being gone but I figured it’d be better that I kind of go quiet than me being in such a bad mindset and engaging with people. I think a break has been very good for me. I certainly feel a bit more in-tuned with myself. I’ll make a triumphant return when I feel like the time is right-- hopefully much wiser than I was before my break.

#non-star fox #from the blog owner #ramblings #littlebluewraith

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courage-a-word-of-justice · 4 years

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Iruma-kun 10

That mascot is still around to annoy poor Kalego, huh? (LOL) I also noticed the demonstration demons have horns like oni.

Oh no! This means Azz-Azz is a prime target for Iruma!

(I was going to write something. Then I got so engrossed in the action, I forgot to…)

LOL, Sabro’s too heavy for Team A to lift!

Oh, Iruma’s hair isn’t tied anymore…

“…pruning this cactus.” – Does Eggie-sensei like plants?

Ooh, the first double-parter ever for this show, I think it is.

Shinchou Yuusha 9

Apparently ep 10 got delayed…*sigh*

LOL, thre’s product placement for a certain ice cream brand in this episode, huh?

Can we not with the boob grope???

*Rista takes care of Mash and Elulu* - Rista’s such a mom sometimes…

Stars Align 9

This one scene with Nao looks really blue…it’s almost unsettling.

Oh dear…I understand the sentiment of an inferiority complex all too well.

Dr Stone 22

Now we’re back to good ol’ science vs. survival of the fittest philosophy clash. Now, see, that’s the Dr Stone I like best!

Torricelli’s law.

Why is mica like baumkuchen? Probably because it has a lot of layers…

Wow, for WSJ – which encouraged fangirls all over the world to make yaoi/shonen ai ships – they sure tossed out the yaoi/shonen ai option real fast…

Skarn. I’ve never heard of it until now.

Magma, staring at the product of magma…LOL.

I…don’t get it. Even after watching the bit again, I don’t understand why Magma was trying to save Senku.

So…as is said for most WSJ series, the treasure was the friends we made along the way…LOL, what a way to acknowledge a trope.

Lemme guess…surprise birthday party? (Sorry, when I was reading up on Magma earlier, I saw that Magma helps with a birthday surprise for Senku and I found out what it was.)

I wonder if Rei is still up there at this point…? (Who’s Rei? You’ll find out if you read the Byakuya reboot…)

Well, “Rock Day” only works in Japanese. The language would’ve drifted over thousands of years so it shouldn’t work in the year 5731 (or whatever year Dr Stone is set).

Dr Stone 23

One episode until the end…but I’m away over Christmas, so I’ll have quite a bit to catch up on when I’m back. Update: I never did end up going away over Christmas.

Senku is much more of a trickster hero than an action hero. That’s been pretty obvious all the way through, but here it’s at its most obvious.

Oh, so Kaseki made the village bridge? Is that a correct assumption…? Update: I think the answer was yes from the manga.

How much chemistry does Gen know, anyway? Assuming he’s a humanities person because of psychology and his tricks, it must only be basic, right?

Thse intense stares…I’ve been reading JJBA: DiU lately, so I’m expecting an 80s-style “!!” to appear over someone’s head at this point, LOL.

Ooh, hardware. In fact, it looks like the inside of a computer…or, more relevant to this case, a phone.

So it’s not “rules are rules” anymore? Now Kinro’s changed his words to reflect his faith in Senku…hmm! Interesting! (Update: A quick google says Kinro is 18. Senku is about 18 (+ 3700 years). Plus, after they start dragging Ginro away, Kinro says his trademark line.)

Wouldn’t the coal smoke alert Tsukasa of the village’s location, though…? Then again, thanks to Homura and Hyouga, Tsukasa already knows their location…oops.

Rochelle salt.

I saw that one shot of the world from the 1st OP and I thought there was meant to be a post-credits segment…LOL, nope.

Dr Stone 24 (FINAL)

The “acquisition message” basically said “We didn’t (just) need one cell phone, (so) it was useless!” Notably, it uses the counter for large items (like computers) for the phone.

Having finished the Byakuya reboot now, I wanna cry every time I hear about the guy…

Oh! The eyecatch is a record!

Basically, what records do is that they recreate sounds by using vibrations created by the grooves of the disc. Sound is a set of vibrations.

“Astronauts are science elites…” – Except maybe Lillian Weinberg…

I like Shamil out of the guys from the Soyuz the most. He’s a cross between Tsukasa and Senku. Stoic yet skeptical, a voice of reason for Byakuya’s sillier outbursts.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the shield was made with CGI, tbh.

Byakuya’s humour here is betraying the emotional capacity of the scene…it’s gone from “100% tear-inducing” to “confusing”.

Please sing Tsubasa wo Kudasai, Lillian…*crosses fingers*

I didn’t get what I wanted, but oh well. This song is good too. (I wouldn’t be surprised if most of the record player was CGI too. It’s good CGI for sure.)

LOL, Puyo Puyo! Even Sherlock Holmes! Dragon Ball, Nintendo Switch, VR, Saiyuki! It’s like a treasure trove of references!

Normally the s2 announcement comes after the credits, so I was thrown for a loop when it was announced before the ED…anyways, this is the end of the s1 coverage. See you for s2!

BnHA 72

[no notes, sorry!]

Iruma-kun 11

Robin looks like Iruma…(this vaguely annoys me.)

I noticed Keroli (sp?) is in the back left, alone…that’s kinda sad.

Sabro is hella tall…even taller than Azz-kun, and that says something.

Ah…I love Eggie-sensei. He’s so funny!

Really? I thought Sullivan wrote them (the rules).

I wanna see an episode where Eggie-sensei can’t turn into his fuzzy form and has to do familiar activities with Iruma. That, or an episode where Eggie-sensei has some human parts and some familiar ones (although that would scare some little kids, I think…)

What a Machiavellian mindset Eggie-sensei has!

Iruma’s got wine, people! Underage drinking is a no-no! (partially joking)

Good on ya, Clara! Go kick those girls to the kerb!

The butterflies are so beautiful in this show!

So basically school clubs.

Hmm…it’s almost a Fordist approach. I mean, “freeing yourself up to do other things” is basically the entire ethos of that.

NGL 10

I was reading JJBA: DiU today and Colt seriously looks like a Jojo’s character…

“Your face is just like…”

N-No way! You mean, the Victor Mary’s wanted to see all along…is the other gunhead…?! Geesh, what a plot twist!

Stars Align 10

“We all play to win.” – That’s very Maki of you, Maki.

Shinjo/Oshimi???? That must be Ryoma…! By the way, what’s up with these Itsuse twins…?

Who’s Hatanooka? Update: That’s the team with Joy in it…and those fangirls who busted Mitsue up.

F*** it…Arashi, I wanna pummel you someday.

LOL, you can sell your temmates out with chanpuru, huh, Arashi?

Did Maki suggest something subliminally…?

*Maki and Toma run around* - LOL, this play is completely unorthodox, haha. I can tell even if I’m no expert.

Shinchou Yuusha 10

We’re back after another week’s break…

Come to think of it, how do fantasy worlds have concepts of “hours”?

LOL, how convenient it was that there just happened to be a dude needing healing walking past! (partially sarcastic, partially meaning it since the circumstances foreshadowed it)

“Talent”, eh? *stares at the camera, which is showing Rista’s boobs, with disapproval*

The Demon Spirit Orb is basically a monster cell from OPM 2, isn’t it…?

If Seiya came from our world…then I’m sorry, Wolks, but whoever told you is completely and utterly wrong. *gestures at all the conflicts around the world, including political turmoil*

“Are you calling…”

No Guns Life 11

Second-last ep!

Oh great…another yandere?(I read JJBA: DiU hardcover vol. 2 yesterday, so I’m still thinking about Yukako Yamagishi…)

There’s a convertible in the OP, though…I wonder if that will come into play later. Update: Even if it does come into play in the future, it doesn’t happen in ths cour.

Stars Align 11

It was like Joy was showing off to the camera…LOL.

Apparently, Joy’s name is a weird reading for yorokobi (happiness).

This feels like a final episode…

Hmm. I thought Yonex sponsored this. Turns out that’s a parody logo after all (or at least, here it’s a parody).

One of the Itsuse bros looks exactly like Maki, so it’s confusing…

I’m still confused as to why Shijo Minami’s shirts say nantei on them. The minami might be nan in another way of reading it, but…the shi can only be read kokorozashi otherwise and while the jou can be read many, many ways, tei isn’t one of them.

Ume = plum blossom, so that purple-pink colour really suits them.

BnHA 73

Eri’s name means, literally, “to break reason”.

This scene with the stars and the dancefloor…that’s new.

Iruma-kun 12

Sometims you forget this dork *points at Azz* is more powerful than Iruma and Clara…

You can see Clara and Iruma in the shot of Azz-kun.

The reason why I like calling Kalego “Eggie-sensei” is because he doesn’t like it!

I love how the narrator is even aware it’s been mentioned several times Iruma can’t decline requests.

New Magic is basically science…?

Oh, it would be hilarious if this character Iruma just bumped into and he (Iruma) would be in a Battler together…but I’ve read spoilers, so I know what Iruma will join…

Is this some kind of allegory for technology…?! *eyes sparkle* Yes, I want in! Iruma! Join this club!

Even this demon’s clip is a book! Amazing!

Clara! She dab! In a pot!

Come to think of it, in the basic premise, Iruma-kun (the show) is Kenja no Mago, right? The Wise Man’s Grandson…sort of.

Shinchou Yuusha 11

Almost at the end…I’ll sorely miss this show.

Is Tiana some former version of Rista…?

How old is Seiya again…? Update: Apparently he’s 17…and if he’s the same age as he used to be in this flashback, then…kinda squicky, no?

Stars Align 12 (FINAL)

I heard this show dropped the ball and that Nao’s mother got a rant, but otherwise I don’t quite know what happens here…so let’s finish what we started. Update: Nao’s mother’s rant was in a previous episode.

Oh hey! It’s that running thing Nao and Taiyo were doing…I think. (I don’t think I’ve grasped everyone’s names, even over 12 eps, so I had to check Taiyo’s name up.)

Oh, these gremlins…*sighs happily but also exasperatedly* No wonder this show took out a top 10 position for my 2019 list.

I’m worried now…there’s always a last minute thing to ruin an episode on this show.

I always thought Ryoma’s hair was pretty nice…(small LOL). That’s just my bias for bishonen showing though.

I’m…scared now…Maki’s dad must’ve come back and the red in the sky really sold that moment…

Maki…no!!!!!!!! Aw, f***, that’s the final seconds…geesh, way to end the series. If this were a 2 cour, I’d definitely watch the next one, but since I heard through ANN that this is all we have so far, really, the only thing I can do for a passion project is hope another cour gets funded and (maybe) purchase what I can to help out. Well, that’s it, folks, skedaddle out of here until next time.

No Guns Life 12 (FINAL)

This pendant reminds me of the mana compass I saw in Fate/Zero yesterday.

I bet Danny planted those footprints…or something like that. Update: Yup, he did.

Come to think of it, is Juzo still missing his arm from last time…?

“You weren’t my client, little lady.” – There’s one of two possible options here, I think: 1) the hands guy was or 2) Danny was.

I wonder, will the hand Extended ever become his (Juzo’s) left hand? Or will he get an Extension for it?

Wow, second huge end-of-season cliffhanger! Juzo got a new buddy, it seems…anyway, see you in spring!

Cautious Hero 12 (FINAL)

If the Valkyryja (sp?) isn’t magic…what is it???

That one guy lying on the side of the fountain, looking all drunk…LOL.

Geez, you make me wanna cry, show!!!

Even the alarm clock is dejected…geez…

This is…the best conclusion of the fall season in that Seiya defeated the Demon King and the story wrapped up properly, but the worst in that Seiya died. No one died in Stars Align, even if they failed a tonne! So…I dunno. I guess it should be happy it ended optimistically…anyways, enough of my moping. See you next time.

BnHA 74

Shin Nemoto = “the truth of the origin of the sound”, if you stuck the particle no between each character.

Tintin got scary, LOL.

Lemillion, making “no capes” go out of fashion again (LOL).

Wow, talk about a clip show…! This is really one.

Check the end of the episode, don’t forget to watch the post-credits segments, people.

#simulcast commentary #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #shinchou yuusha #kono yuusha ga ore tueee kuse ni shinchou sugiru #no guns life #Stars Align #hoshiai no sora #Dr Stone #mairimashita! iruma-kun #welcome to demon school iruma kun #Chesarka watches MI-k #Chesarka watches BnHA #Chesarka watches Stars Align #Chesarka watches Shinchou Yuusha #Chesarka watches NGL #Chesarka watches Dr Stone #this hero is invincible but too cautious #the hero is overpowered but overly cautious

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