writing 11k for the first chapter of my library au? whatever.

coming up with a title for that fic? apparently impossible.

Man, I love recording podcasts and having a podcast, but I hate podcast editing.

Mostly because I can't multi-task it. You can't watch TV while doing it, or read, or write, you must truly be fully devoted to it. Blah

hi! sorry if you’ve answered this recently but are you working on any more fics in the LOKverse currently? hope you’re well!

I haven't answered this. I haven't written in months, and I really miss it.

I think a combination of pandemic and a lot of stress about my current housing situation and the rising costs of everything contributed a lot to that. Like most of us, I think! This culminated in a leak in my kitchen pipes this month - causing a fair amount of damage - which means my son and I have to move to a new flat in January. Which does mean more chaos in the near future, but it's a good thing, in the long run. The new flat has just been completely renovated - new floors, appliances, walls, plumbing, etc. - and is in a much nicer building and much more convenient in terms of location. (The bus stop is right out the front door! The health center is on the bottom floor of our building! The shops/pharmacy are literally a minute's walk away!) And because the leak was not our fault, the property manager is going to pay for the movers. But the packing! Oh god! The packing! There is no executive functioning in this house, it will be interesting. (That's my polite way of saying OH DEAR GOD SOMEONE HELP US.) But once it is all done I think it's going to be a really good thing, for both of us. And hopefully it will do good things for our collective mental health. Which will allow me to sit down and start really writing again.

I know hardly anybody is reading those LOKverse stories at all - especially when I get into the second generation - but since I wrote them for myself that never mattered all that much to me, if I am honest. I do have, in the works, a chaptered story from Wu's POV about Izumi's birthday and abdication and Juziya's ascendance to the throne (set around 190, when Sayuri is not quite two and Naoki has just turned sixteen) which will have all the usual suspects and promises the usual that you get from me. @marezelle is doing the Beta for me but so far there isn't much for them to do. It does have a title, though! And two chapters! The Sun Is In The Western Sky; Or the Coronation of Firelord Juziya. There, you see!

I also have, and do not laugh, the final chapter from last year's advent collection, which was "Kissing" and was going to be something short with Jai and Poppy but has turned into something much longer (shocking, I know, I know) and which is absolutely K18. And does not belong in that collection any longer. If I do finish it I will stick it in my NSFW collection and just call the advent collection done at day 30.

I also have a story percolating in my head about Little Avatar Bo going to meet the Earth Queen. Oh yes, haven't I mentioned? There's an Earth Queen (who is really only the Queen of the nation of Ba Sing Se at this point). That one would very much like to be written and is not listening to me when I have tried to explain that I must pack up this flat. No, not after I have finished writing you. Now.

So, the answer is yes!

And, because you asked so nicely, here's the beginning paragraphs of the new Wu story. Under the cut for those of you who don't want to see them. Subject to change, obviously.

Republic City (en route to Hari Bulkan)

Midsummer, Dragon Month, 9th Day, 190 AG

I must tell you, Progeny, that things were simpler when there were only three children and one spouse to prepare for royal occasions. To whit: preparing all four of my children plus both of my spouses to attend Firelord Izumi’s eightieth birthday celebration, where she will officially abdicate her throne to her granddaughter and heir, Crown Princess Juziya. Who will then, of course, be crowned.

I have known of it for quite some time; Juziya wrote Qi about it last year and Qi mentioned it to me. I say mentioned it to me because I am not privy to Qi and Juziya’s correspondence. They struck up a rather unheralded friendship four years ago when we all went to Ember Island for the New Year by Izumi’s request; Juziya attended our wedding (and I cannot even speak of what that abominable creature Bob did to her, I am quite sure I will never recover, wars have been fought over for less) and she and Qi have corresponded frequently ever since. I attempted to remonstrate with Qi that said correspondence should be preserved and collated for archival purposes - a Crown Princess and Royal Consort! - but Qi told me, and I quote, “They aren’t for you, so quit trying to get your grubby little hands on them.”

GRUBBY LITTLE HANDS!

Do not blame me if you are unable to read what I am certain is historically pertinent, Progeny. My grubby hands and I are willing to suffer any and all insults for the sake of history but Qi quite refuses to budge. Nothing moved them. Perhaps I can bring it up with Juziya. I am certain at least she will understand the imperative of preservation.

We are not the only ones going. Izumi extended the invitation to Tenzin and Su Beifong and their families as well, and of course Lin, although she will be coming with us. We will be taking the Republic City Beifongs with us, especially since I commissioned a new airship as soon as we got our official invitation. It was not out of the blue; I have always been very happy with the one Asami gave me all those years ago but I have known for some time it was simply too small to comfortably accommodate all of us, especially since we often include the family here in town. I of course know next to nothing about the specifications of airships but Qi and Captain Orino met with Asami and talked shop (as Qi always puts it) and Asami made one exclusively for us, which included enough deck space to facilitate various air bison and one very large (and opinionated) gold dragon. (I had thought a swimming pool would be a particularly enjoyable touch but was informed that it was a poor idea for an airship. All I have to say about that is that I am entirely certain they would have made it work if it had been my late and not remotely lamented Great-Aunt asking.) Naturally once it was finished I took charge and had it appropriately furnished, with staterooms for the entire family as well any guests we might be taking about. I have also hired both a permanent chef and steward to coordinate the temporary staff that my PR firm supplies us for our journeys. (Mako felt perfectly free to ask me if I was also going to hire a cruise director which I did not find particularly hilarious, thank you very kindly. As if a permanent chef and steward for one’s airship is somehow extraordinary! What are we to eat while we are traveling, Flameo Instant Noodles? Ridiculous. Are we to be the ones directing the temporary staff in setting our tables and making our beds? Simply absurd. Everyone knows that a steward on an airship is an eminently practical thing to have, I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of it before.)

Hey!!

I just finished Mine Would Be You for the millionth time! Is one of my favorite fics ever 💜 thank you for writing it!

Also I'd like to know if you're working on anything new 👀

xoxo xoxo 💓

I can’t even say how much it means to me that people come back and re-read my stories. Thank you so so so much for loving it and giving it time.

I AM working on something new! It’s a rivals to lovers ballet fic, and it’s about 80% done. I’m currently dealing with dueling health issues that are leaving me in pretty debilitating pain and dealing with a lot mental stress, so writing has been tough going, but I literally think about the fic every day. It’s just the matter of getting the words on the screen that’s a real struggle right now. I KNOW the fic will be worth the wait, you can search “Arise Fair Sun” on my blog if you want snippets 🩷

how do you get rid of executive dysfunction

I'm in the mood to ramble, so congratulations, welcome to my stream of consciousness.

I have the first actual solid PTO I have managed all year, really. The amount of weight it takes off to NOT be on call and monitoring phone and email is . . . amazing.

I went thrifting with my friend on Saturday and acquired Some Things for the house. She also goaded me into putting up my Christmas decor. Soggy Bottom is slowly coming along, in bits and pieces, and there is definitely a sense of satisfaction when I have stamped My Aesthetic on something. My friends could tell you, I HAVE AESTHETIC. This is My House.

One of the things acquired is a little antique clock, which I have set on my mantle. I didn't anticipate being able to hear the mechanisms, but it does very steadily click the seconds away. It's surprisingly soothing and means there's never that dead silence any more.

There have been little things annoying me about my laptop over the past few months, and I tend to use my computer literally every day for hours for years on end, so that is . . . concerning. I was woefully looking at new ones, and similar future-proof quality would be $1.5k-2k, and I cringed. . . . And then I realized I could probably get the issues that were annoying me FIXED. So for like $350 parts and labor, I am doing that. That too is a relief!

I am expected to make the journey back to family for Christmas, and am contemplating pros/cons. On one hand I could be filial and go see my aging parents who, I think, have finally realized that I could just vanish out of their lives and that I would not be bothered, but they would be. I have no hard feelings against them but no strong feelings either, so that's . . . Mmm. It baffles my therapist something awful.

My greatest regret of going back for Thanksgiving is that I didn't have the chance to go to the local store and stock up on bougie NE foods like I wanted. Second greatest, being that I still can't stand small children even if I'm related to them.

Or I could wuss out of it. There's supposed to be bad weather on the day I was going to travel, and there is a distinct temptation at having two more days to do things at home. Having some few spoons not being used by work means I can get things done that have been neglected. So far that's mostly manifested as cleaning and cooking. If I could actually catch up with all that, maybe I can work on painting the upstairs. Maybe.

By LabradoriteKing on Pinterest

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

Please, for the love of god, please don’t be this person. No matter how long it’s been since an update, no matter how many unfinished stories are sitting on their account, no matter what - do not be this person.

Not only is it insanely rude, but you also do more damage than you think be being such a self-entitled ass about something someone created for free and for fun. “This author” can see what you say.

RIP decency indeed.

What's distressing, but also important to understand, about JK Rowling hitting the "Denying trans people were targeted in the Holocaust" point is that it's kind of the last stop before she just goes full alt-right weirdo.

Joanne is denying the Holocaust (if a group was targeted, denying they were targeted is Holocaust denial) and that's going to lead to pushback from historians and experts. But Joanne is too deep in to believe what anyone who disagrees with her says, so she's just going to dismiss what those historians and experts tell her. And once she's disbelieving them about that one thing, well it's just a tiny step to start disbelieving them about other things.

This isn't by accident either, transphobic circles are swarming with far right agitators, ready to use hatred of trans people as an in to recruit people into their causes. They have handbooks for this sort of thing and they are, unfortunately, good at it. I suspect Joanne will be spouting coded versions of Great Replacement stuff by the end of the summer.

This is not a plea to try and pull Joanne out. She's too deep in, and even if she wasn't, she's already demonstrated an inability to examine her own prejudices, an unwillingness to hear criticism and a weakness to flattery. She is perfect recruitment bait for people who know what they're doing, and my impression is she's surrounded herself with people like that.

No, this is to understand two things: First is to use her as an example, to understand how a well meaning liberal can chase their own prejudices down a very dark rabbit hole. We are none of us immune to propaganda and even if we can't change what's happened to her, we can at least use it to protect ourselves.

And second is to understand that one of the main reasons you can't pull Joanne out of the transphobic pipeline is cause she is the pipeline now. She is the transphobic banner bearer now, she is funneling money and attention to these groups, she is their most famous celebrity and she is helping recruit people. Being able to show people how far she's gone, how deep into the right wing rabbit hole she's going, is important to help other people who still think she just "Had some concerns" know where her path leads.

"But you already wrote that trope."

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

made a sticker for anyone to slap onto their work if they need to

Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.

Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.

He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.

He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.

Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"

"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.

changes and trends in horror-genre films are linked to the anxieties of the culture in its time and place. Vampires are the manifestation of grappling with sexuality; aliens, of foreign influence. Horror from the Cold War is about apathy and annihilation; classic Japanese horror is characterised by “nature’s revenge”; psychological horror plays with anxieties that absorbed its audience, like pregnancy/abortion, mental illness, femininity. Some horror presses on the bruise of being trapped in a situation with upsetting tasks to complete, especially ones that compromise you as a person - reflecting the horrors and anxieties of capitalism etc etc etc. Cosmic horror is slightly out of fashion because our culture is more comfortable with, even wistful for, “the unknown.” Monster horror now has to be aware of itself, as a contingent of people now live in the freedom and comfort of saying “I would willingly, gladly, even preferentially fuck that monster.” But I don’t know much about films or genres: that ground has been covered by cleverer people.

I don’t actually like horror or movies. What interests me at the moment is how horror of the 2020s has an element of perception and paying attention.

Multiple movies in one year discussed monsters that killed you if you perceived them. There are monsters you can’t look at; monsters that kill you instantly if you get their attention. Monsters where you have to be silent, look down, hold still: pray that they pass over you. M Zombies have changed from a hand-waved virus that covers extras in splashy gore, to insidious spores. A disaster film is called Don’t Look Up, a horror film is called Nope. Even trashy nun horror sets up strange premises of keeping your eyes fixed on something as the devil GETS you.

No idea if this is anything. (I haven’t seen any of these things because, unfortunately, I hate them.) Someone who understands better than me could say something clever here, and I hope they do.

But the thing I’m thinking about is what this will look like to the future, as the Victorian sex vampires and Cold War anxieties look to us. I think they’ll have a little sympathy, but they probably won’t. You poor little prey animals, the kids will say, you were awfully afraid of facing up to things, weren’t you?

Reading fetish erotica with absolutely pristine and morally upright consent and neat and tidy safer sex practices is like watching a Fast and Furious movie where they stop at every stop sign and signal for every lane change and always obey the speed limit.