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ozzgin · 2 days

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Hi!! Your writing it truly lovely 😭<33 If i could request anything with Zzy? Thank youuu

Yandere! Demon x Gloomy! Reader (II)

Featuring the goat-legged boy Zzy and a gloomy, newly employed detective Reader! By the way, his name is a little tribute to a series I like. Can you guess who inspired it? Hint: it's Jhonen Vasquez's first comic :D

Content: female reader, perverted goat demon yandere, dark/crass humor!, monster romance, mildly NSFW

[Part 1] [Monster masterlist]

The detective man, at the very least, kept his word. The pay is good, and you barely have any work to do. The jobs themselves are similarly not too challenging: so far you haven’t had to deal with any murder mystery out of an Agatha Christie novel. Rather, most of the time, it’s someone asking you to investigate their cheating partner, or sending you to do a background check for an employee. Every now and then you’ll get the odd client, but that’s something for another day.

Your boss isn’t all that bad either. You were initially quite hesitant to be alone in the room with him. He always seems to be surrounded by an eerie, dark aura, and you’ve only seen him smile in a menacing, villainous way. Now you’ve gotten used to his strangeness. In fact, it’s almost comforting. There’s something refreshing about another human being honest about their misery. He seems to be just as uninterested in this job as you are, spending most of his time reading at his desk. Despite his unkempt, scary appearance, he's pleasant enough and looks after you. Which, now that you think about it, is a little suspicious. You've seen him act around other people: curt and to the point, disinterested, even potentially rude. With demons, he's ruthless.

"Have you had lunch yet?" the man asks, standing up and dusting his knees. "I can get us something."

You nod and flash him a flaccid smile, although you can't help but ask:

"Listen, aren't you being a little too nice? I mean, I'm not complaining...but I've seen how you behave in general, and I have a hard time coming up with a reason for my special treatment."

He ponders your question for a moment, before his sunken eyes look ahead, somewhere behind you.

"Well…If I’m being honest, you’re kind of pathetic, aren't you? I’m just a little worried that if I’m too harsh, I’ll find out you hanged yourself in your apartment or something. Not that I’d care, but if you’re gone, I’m the one stuck with…that thing.”

Ah. That’s what it was. Almost immediately, a shiver runs across your spine.

“(Y/N)! Are you done yet? I’m booooooored”, a prolonged whine erupts from the neighboring chamber.

“I’m about to have lunch, actually. Do you want any-”

“You know I do! Spread those legs and I can start”, the goat demon declares with a grin, clacking his hooves in your direction.

You sigh.

Of course. Months ago, you were tricked into signing a lifelong contract with Zzy. It was the detective’s way of washing his hands off the matter and warmly welcoming you into the agency. It makes sense that he'd treat you with utmost care, otherwise he'd have to deal with this pest from Hell once again.

How's your life with Zzy going?

You've since found a way to seal your bedroom, in order to avoid waking up with his groping hands under your sheets. Sadly, the stubborn creature keeps finding ways to bypass your safety measurements. Who would’ve thought that lust is such a powerful driving force?

On top of the nightly shenanigans, you obviously have to deal with him during the day, at the agency. “Listen, it’s like…one of those fidget toys. It helps with stress”, he explains fervently while pointing at your chest. “You want me to do my work properly, don’t you?” He concludes theatrically. “You’re not holding my boobs. This is the end of the conversation.”

If you’re having a bad day, it won’t go unnoticed. “Boy, what a smell, what a delicacy. You’re even more miserable than usual”, Zzy will exclaim, throwing his hands together in a graceful prayer. “You know what the best medicine is? A quick fuck. Let me pound that sadness out of you, eh?”

Despite his constant clowning, the demon does have moments of clarity. He becomes particularly serious when jealous. “What have you done?” You shout in despair, gawking at the client - now morphed into a pig - foaming at the mouth and running around the room. “He was staring at your ass. Only I can do that.” The horned man stands proud, arms crossed, nodding at his own courageous act. His most treasured belonging has been defended once more.

As expected, the jealous curse has gotten both of you into time-out. Zzy because he cursed the client in the first place, and you - despite your protests - because you didn't stop him in time. "Can't you wear something easier to take off? It takes two business days to unbutton this crap", the demon complains as he fiddles with your shirt. You're laying on the sofa, hands behind your head, gazing at the clock on the wall and counting the minutes passing. Unbothered, compliant. The peacefulness of someone who's given up. "Zipper is to the left", you add, aiding the process.

Another irritating detail is that the damned beast can detect the slightest arousal coming from you, and will make sure to announce it loudly, regardless of who is around. "Someone's horny! Whew, getting me all worked up, too." You slap a hand over his mouth, a deep red blush rapidly spreading across your cheeks. You turn to the detective and apologize profusely, but he remains unconcerned, flipping another page. "Let me take care of her first, Mr. Detective", Zzy manages to mumble through your pressed fingers. "As long as you get the task done", your boss responds plainly, never bothering to look up from his book.

"You should visit me down there sometimes", the horned creature suddenly mentions, his head resting in your lap as you idly browse your phone. You stop to glance down at him. "In Hell, you mean?" He snickers at the thought. "No one believes me when I tell them I have a human girlfriend. I need concrete proof, ya feel me?" You raise an eyebrow. "Girlfriend?" He disregards your inquiry and continues: "At least give me a pair of your panties to take back home." Absolutely not.

"Were you this much of a menace before I showed up?"

"What's that supposed to mean?! You can't blame a demon for being in love."

You sigh once more and roll over.

"Does that mean we can go for round two~?" Zzy is grinning at his own suggestion.

"Just go to sleep. Or something."

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sunkissedchld · 1 day

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𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒔 𝒗𝒆𝒓. 𝒐𝒏𝒆

the piles go from left to right. therefore, pile one is the clear quartz, pile two is the tiger's eye, and so on and so forth.

take your time to use your intuition to choose the pile that will best resonate with you. lastly, please don't be afraid to say if the message resonated or not; it helps me in determining if my interpretations are correct or not, and i appreciate any sort of feedback - even if it's "bad".

good luck to you, reader 🔮

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈

Signs:

heavily craving or avoiding physical touch, prominent first house or major first house transits right now, 9/99/999, heavy fire sign placements or embodying fire sign energy recently (or needing to), archangel gabriel, heavy sagittarius and/or cancer energy, mercury, uranus

Shufflemancy:

“Confessions” by Usher

“Lost Without U” by Robin Thicke

“Insecure” by Amare La Negra

“ICONIC” by Aespa

“3RACHA” by Stray Kids

Cards:

Ace of Cups, Page of Wands (Rx), Knight of Swords (Rx), Broom, Knight of Pentacles (Rx), Queen of Pentacles, Justice, The Hermit, The Star, The Magician

Reading:

It feels like there’s two camps of people for this pile: those with project ideas in mind for work or for their own personal lives and those interested in a potential crush or relationship. I’ll try to give examples for both and keep things semi-neutral, but sometimes things aren’t always that clean, so apply to your situation as needed.

You may feel excited about this new project or relationship. You’re excited about potential prospects and have all these ideas running in your mind about how to go about things or how things will turn out, but this excitement is actually proving to be unhelpful or detrimental in a sense. Excitement with the right work ethic and listening ears can be a blessing, but without direction and input from others can cause you flail. It seems you could be rushing into things and trying to make pieces fit where they don’t so to speak. You could be thinking your plan is perfect and if everything just went the way you wanted, then all would be great, but this isn’t true. You need to get rid of this idea of you being this know-it-all who knows exactly what’s happening right now.

For those of you who are used to always pursuing and making things happen; you need to step back and allow the universe to play out its wants. You could be the type of person who thinks they have to sacrifice everything in order to be happy or live comfortably, and the truth is that is not the case. You can have a balance between your work life and romantic or personal one; it’s okay to love working and coming up with all these ideas, but you also need to learn how to get comfortable with being with others and yourself outside of that professional, work-minded setting.

For those of you who sit in the background and are a little more lazy, the opposite is true in that you need to step into taking control of your own life instead of leaving decisions and everything else up to the universe or other people around you. you could be too hedonistic and concerned about personal connections to the point where you put your livelihood and financial security at risk. In both instances, a need to balance is present. Also for both instances, there’s an emphasis on spending a little bit of time with yourself to determine in which way you need to expand and in which way you need to pull back from some of your habits.

This pursuit versus lackadaisical attitude can also be applied to pursuing relationships. Some of you are constantly on the look for this person you’re interested in, or you’re always thinking of how you want to be in a relationship or how you can get into one when you need to step back and let it come to you when you need it. Others of you are acting as if you’re completely out of the game and are putting in no effort to create and maintain relationships when the reality is humans are interactive creatures, and you too need interaction! Again, a balance is needed for those this aligns with.

Ultimately, you can have whatever it is you want: the lead on the project, the relationship, the good work ethic, the hedonistic lifestyle, but you also need to balance that with what it is you’re avoiding. The perfect recipe or spell concoction isn’t made with too much of any one ingredient. Everything has to work together in order for so-called perfection to be derived.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈

Signs:

lack of sight, “going in blind”, prominent twelfth house placements or transits, heavy pisces placements or energy, 1212, venus, 3/33/333, “i’m walking on sunshine”; “i’m trying to ascend”; “i’m crucified like my savior; saint-like behavior”

Shufflemancy:

“in my head” by Ariana Grande

“Cry Baby” by Megan Thee Stallion (feat. DaBaby)

“Say My Name (Live)” by Beyoncè

“Emotional Bruises” by Madison Beer

“Streets Is Callin’” by B2K

Cards:

Page of Wands (Rx), Page of Pentacles, The Chariot, Ace of Swords, Seven of Cups, The Patient Witch, Three of Cups, Three of Pentacles, Good Luck Charm

Reading:

Those choosing pile two might be in an intermittent state currently. Previously, you could’ve felt like you were on top of the world with everything set in stone, but now you’ve lost your footing, and you can’t necessarily figure out why. You might’ve started a project or new endeavor, and now you’re running into unexpected troubles which are making you want to give up.

You might be someone who is obsessive about the things they want; you need everything to turn out exactly how you pictured it - to the point of refusing to be happy with anything less or slightly different even if the bulk of what you want is given to you. When you do encounter differences (or what you’d consider roadblocks), you have a habit of abandoning things or believing you must’ve messed up in some way – even when that’s not the case! You get so focused on “fixing” things that you forget to be appreciative of what you do accomplish.

It seems you recognize you’re on some sort of journey, and you’re excited to do so much; you have so many ideas you want to pursue that sometimes you confuse yourself about what to do. In some ways, an abundance of choices is confusing you. You could inherently know that you likely can’t pursue everything (or that you shouldn’t), but your curiosity is getting the best of you. For some of you, I feel like some of these illusionary good choices have already come forward, and you’ve figured out the hard way that not every choice available to you is a good one.

Those of pile two are being called to do a few things. One is to be patient and listen to yourself. Again, you can have all these ideas about what you want to do, but you need to figure out a way to “be still” and concentrate your energy on what’s best for you. You don’t have to be making moves or plans all the time; I know being told to meditate can feel frustrating, but the truth is that it’s hard to make good decisions without fully thinking them through. This act of listening to your inner self does not have to be done completely alone though (although parts of it should be). Don’t be afraid to ask friends, your guides, or other people around you for advice or help. Talk through your ideas, work with others to achieve them – you might see more success creating a community as opposed to acting totally alone.

Overall pile two, things will work out for you depending on how you act and whether or not you listen. If you keep pursuing things faster than you’re ready to, then you can expect rude awakenings about needing to slow down and think before acting. If you take the time to get in tune with yourself and determine what it is you truly should be going after, then you can expect better outcomes and results.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈𝐈

Signs:

9/99/999, feeling sick recently, not trusting yourself, “don’t trust yourself”, uranus prominence, the color red, lack of fight, dogma, fire dominance or being drawn to fire, 3/33/333, swords, prominent air energy or dominance, 6/66

Shufflemancy:

“Right Here” by Alex Aiono

“Princess Going Digital” by Amaarae

“King’s Dead” by Kendrick Lamar (feat. Jay Rock, Future, & James Blake)

“Muwop” by Latto (feat. Gucci Mane)

“Die A Little Bit” by Tinashe (feat. Ms Banks)

Cards:

Six of Swords, Six of Wands, Four of Pentacles, Nine of Swords, Five of Swords, The World, Nine of Wands, Temperance, The Tower, Ten of Cups (Rx), Ace of Swords

Reading:

I think this pile is mainly for those thinking about or experiencing a romantic situation – not everyone will be, so don’t be alarmed because the overall message will be able to be applied regardless of whether romance is in your life right now or not. Those who chose this pile may be the type to close themselves off from others; in a lot of ways you’re hiding your light and existence from people who would appreciate and celebrate you. You could be someone who has social anxiety or worries often about the way people perceive you; you might find it hard to make friends or to establish relationships (romantic, platonic, maybe even familial) where you feel comfortable revealing your authentic self to others.

You’re being called to leave this unsure part of yourself behind. You could be insecure when it comes to interacting with others – maybe you have a stutter or there’s some other factor that impacts your speech or how comfortable you feel when talking to people. For some of you, you may not understand what makes you special or what would draw people to you as a person, but Six of Wands in the deck I have says, “you’re kind of a big deal, so start acting like it!”. Even if you can’t see your own beauty, draw, or light other people can and want to connect with you because of it and because of who you portray yourself to be.

Going back to relationships and trying to make connections with others, you may be someone who always thinks the worst of people. You may often think, “no one will like me”; “I won’t be able to make friends here”; “I’m not interesting enough”; “all my relationships go to shit in some way, so why try”, and the advice to you is “you can’t be right all of the time”. The worst possible outcome is not the only outcome. There’s almost a guarantee that if you get out of your comfort zone and be intentional in establishing relationships with people, then you may find the outcomes you fear so much won’t happen. “You have to give people the chance to show you they’re not like the people who have been in your life previously”.

There’s an emphasis on the fact that you’re still standing even though you may have experienced times when you didn’t think you would keep going. The only/main thing holding you back right now is not your guides or the universe or the people around you or some outside evil force that you think only has it out for you – you are imposing limitations on yourself because of your fear of being hurt again. Although you’re being urged to try and pursue relationships out of your own volition; it’s important to note that some people are coming forward regardless. You must get rid of this idea that you’re unlikeable or unlovable, and you’ll likely have a Tower moment regarding your idea of and the way you act in relationships soon.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐕

Signs:

the color purple, feeling restless or tired, sun dominance or needing to go out in the sun, prominent capricorn, libra, and/or gemini placements, red orange/blood orange, second house placements or transits, “trust yourself”, artemis, poseidon, water dominance or working with water, hades

Shufflemancy:

“libidO” by OnlyOneOf

“Focus” by H.E.R

“Victory” by Yolanda Adams

“UGOMDN” by chlothegod

“Star Lost” by Stray Kids

Cards:

Page of Pentacles (Rx), Seven of Cups, The Patient Witch (Rx), Queen of Swords, Page of Cups, Five of Wands, Ten of Wands (Rx), The Lovers (Rx), Ace of Pentacles, Eight of Cups. Judgment

Reading:

The message for those of you who chose pile four is going to be a little harsh – just as a disclaimer. Your guides may be at their wits end in trying to tell you nicely or in trying to contact you in general, so this could be a message you’ve been ignoring or not understanding for a while. This could be a lesson you keep running into; I heard “you’re tired? We’re tired too”, so take that as it resonates. This pile also feels adjacent to pile two because some of the same cards came out, but I think this pile is for those of you who have little time to make your decision to change your ways because you’ve already been warned multiple times.

At your core, you embody the Queen of Swords; you may be quick-witted, steadfast in your knowledge of who you are and what you want, outspoken, and independent to a fault, but currently these attributes are manifesting in the most negative ways. Currently, you could be acting childish and “rotten”; I’m reminded of Violet from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. You’re so stuck in this idea of how you want things to play out and what you want that you’ve backed yourself into a situation where you come off as immature and lazy if things don’t go your way. What seems to be coming through is “oh, you’re stubborn? We can be stubborn too”.

Your guides are wanting you to loosen up and be open to experiencing what’s thrown to and/or given to you. You have the ultimate control over your life, but I’m seeing some of you specifically asked for your guides’ help and aid, so if you want it, then you have to listen to their suggestions also. Your work with them is not a one-way affair, so stop treating it as such. They are not magic genies who are to drop everything and give you everything you want at your beck and call. I heard “cruisin’ for a bruisin’” which could be related to your need to control things.

The advice of this reading is really to be mindful of how you're treating your guides and your intentions in your journey with them. For one, you’re shouldering too much responsibility to the point where you’re burning yourself out. It is not possible to go through life all by yourself with no help or input from anyone else. It’s also not possible to have a relationship with your guides and never listen to them or treat them like they’re your servants. If you keep running into obstacles and misfortunes going on your own, then maybe try their way for a while and see how it works for you.

Overall pile four, your guides want to work with you. They want to provide you with abundance and see you prosper and above all happy, but if you refuse to listen, then you will keep stumbling.

#tarot #oracle #pick a card #PAC #tarotblr #sunkissedchld #Spotify

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iloveacronix · 7 hours

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REDRAW #1/?

THE BOWLCUTS IM GONNA CRYJ THEY WERE SO HARD TO MAKE FOR NO REASON. Nyway, thank you for the request, @ogzieoggleton ! I'm working on the 2nd one, and the rest that others have requested •,<

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thewriterwithnoplan · 2 days

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Ferrari's Fairytale (1/3)

Summary: World Championships are the most important part of any Formula One team's history. Except perhaps, Ferrari's. Known for their rabid fans, filthy-rich investors, and pretty boy drivers it shouldn't be a surprise that the team has brought together Soulmates from across the globe. And fate, it seems, is working awfully hard to put all the pieces into place for Ferrari's perfect fairytale - one that's been in the works for decades now.

[Part 1 of Pretty Girls and Ferrari Boys]

Soulmate AU: Soulmates share injuries and pain.

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader (Eventual)

Word Count: 1650

Warnings: Swearing, no Charles in this first part sorry it's his epic love story and those take time ;)

Masterlist

There was something wrong with your soulmate.

Really there had been something wrong with them since you were eight years old. But right now, there was something particularly wrong with them.

“Just some bruising over the ribcage, but no actual damage internally.” The medic presses a latex covered hand gently against your ribs.

“They feel broken.” You suck in a pained breath and glare over her shoulder, at the little framed picture of her cat, Terror, on her desk. “You’re sure I’m not about to sneeze and puncture a lung?”

“Funny.” Though the look she gives you as she pulls off her gloves is less than amused. “Which one of us went to medical school again?”

“My best friend. You might know her. She’s stunning, generous, gives me free check-ups, did I say stunning? Goes by Sunny.”

“It’s Doctor Sunny to you.” She slingshots one of the gloves at you. “But it’s good to know you only keep me around for the free check-ups.”

“My soulmate would bankrupt me without you.”

Sunny taps at her computer, “The fee isn’t that high.”

“Sure,” You shrug. “If you aren’t in here every other week.”

“Have we ruled out hitman as their profession?”

“Since we were eight?”

“I don’t know much about hitmen, maybe they start them young.”

You lower yourself carefully from the observation table and move stiffly toward her desk. “Give it to me straight Doc. How much longer have I got?”

“I’m afraid you’ll live, ma’am.” Sunny doesn’t even look up. “A tragedy for all, I know. I can give you a moment if you need time to process– Ow! Bitch.”

She rubs at her shoulder and huffs.

“I’m going to have to log that in the database, you know.” She says.

“Good, maybe we can both find our soulmates and be done with it all.”

“Real romantic, dude.”

“Your soulmate hasn’t been terrorising you since you were a kid.”

“I had my fair share of scraped knees,” Sunny wrinkles her nose when you stick your tongue out. “You do know it won’t stop after the two of you meet, right? That’s a schoolyard myth.”

“After the talking to I’m going to give him, you bet your perky ass it’s going to stop.”

“That’s the second instance of workplace harassment I’ve coped from you in the last minute.”

“Fine. Your ass is not perky.”

“Mature.” She hums, “What time did you say the pain started?”

“Ten-thirty-ish?”

“All good then.” Sunny makes a few more clicks before powering down her computer. “Your chest and my arm, all nice and logged.”

“You know, sometimes I think you became a Match Medic specifically so you could put every little thing into the database to make it easier to find your soulmate.”

“Perks of the job.” She scoops up her handbag. “Come on, let’s bounce before the front desk starts scheduling over my lunch break.”

“You remember how I said you were stunning and generous and stunning?”

“I’m not buying you lunch.”

“Could this week get any worse?” You throw your head back dramatically.

Sunny cracks a smile at your antics, “Only a few more hours and we’re free for the weekend.”

“Are we still on for pamper-night tonight?”

“Always. Mine or yours?”

You end up spending the night in Sunny’s apartment, covered in different rejuvenating oils and masks until you look like low-budget horror movie villains. In your fluffy robes with The Princess Bride on in the background Sunny tries to teach you how to make Hainanese Chicken the way her mother did. Terror cries at your feet when you tell him he can’t have raw chicken. Sunny pops a bottle of cheap champagne that makes you both grimace and promise one another that you would find an excuse to get a nicer bottle soon. You take turns washing the excess from the face, foot, and hair masks off. Then curl up together on the couch, sipping broth, digging into rice and slathering chicken in Sunny’s family’s super-secret chilli sauce. You both fall asleep at a very respectable eleven o’clock.

So, it’s fucking strange when you wake up feeling like you had spent the night inside a paint mixer.

“Are you okay?” Sunny frowns as she stands over a pan of eggs. “You look ill.”

You squint over your coffee cup, “Soulmate is playing up.”

She plates the eggs next to a small stack of bacon before turning to put a hand to your forehead. “They shouldn’t be making you feel sick, illness doesn’t transfer like that. Are you sure it’s coming from them? Could you just be hung over?”

“It’s definitely him, third weekend in a row, like clockwork.” You take your plate gratefully, “It’s like I always tell you. It’s not nausea. It’s more like…”

“Impossible to explain for you and every medical practitioner you’ve ever seen?”

You groan, “It’s like my brain spent the night trying to escape my skull and the muscles in my neck were in on it.”

“It’s not unheard of for soulmates to feel the repercussions of an intense work out. There was this study from four years ago on high performance athletes and their partners that–”

You groan again, “Oh god and now there’s a nerd in my ear!”

She tosses a gelatinous bit of egg onto your plate. It lands with a splat that makes you fake gag. “Oh, grow up.”

“You should be nice to me,” You lament, “I’m wounded!”

“Your soulmate is wounded.”

“And I’m sure their best friend is taking very good care of them!”

She pulls a face at you but still takes your plate to the dishwasher for you. As she’s rinsing them, she asks, “What’s on for the rest of your weekend?”

“I got a call from my parents on Thursday and guess what?” You sipped at the cold dregs of your coffee, “The dentist finally figured out which one of them the toothache is coming from!”

“That’s great,” Sunny’s smile was genuine. “They’re going in to get it fixed?”

“Tomorrow morning, both going under local anaesthesia.”

You hip checked her lightly out of the way to rinse both your cups. “You want another coffee?”

Sunny propped herself up on the counter, “My caffeine addiction is rubbing off on you I fear.”

“Listen, we have to get through the day somehow.” You coaxed the machine back to life before leaning against the counter to look at Sunny. “Anyway, my parents were supposed to go to this race tomorrow. Dad is particularly devastated and has practically ordered me to represent the family ‘at our home race.’ It’s been tradition for him and mum since they got married. It’s kind of a big deal for him. The man is obsessive.”

“My parents had something similar to say about our family legacy and studying medicine.”

“Speaking of… You remember all the times I sat up with you studying, or brought you food when you forgot to eat, or ran errands for you, or made sure you took breaks, or–”

“Fine, I get it, I’ll go to the stupid race.”

“Oh, how kind of you to offer.” You passed her one of the cups. “It won’t be that bad. Motorsports are supposed to be fun live, right?”

Sunny snorted, “Thank God. Motorsports? I thought you meant like a horse race or a marathon. I was getting war-flashbacks to track-and-field.”

You put a hand to your heart, “You were willing to relive cross country for me?”

“I was willing to ogle fit, sweaty men for you, definitely.”

“Alright, first of all – fuck you. But also same,” You clinked mugs and nodded solemnly at one another, “Maybe we can find some fit, sweaty drivers to ogle instead.”

Sunny hummed, “What do I wear? Is it like sprint cars or more like V8s – ooh is it an illegal drag race?”

“Girl, no.” You swatted at her thigh, “It’s Formula 1, which is perfectly legal and safe and much faster than any of those options.”

“Alright, Miss Daddy’s-Girl, go off.”

“Shut up, I’ve had to hear him go on and on about it my whole life.” You pulled a face at your coffee. “The man has had a hard-on for Ferrari since before he met my mother, and then he met her in the Ferrari hospitality at an F1 race, and he’s fucking worshipped them ever since.”

“Oh my god, why am I only just hearing about this?” She grabbed your face, squishing your cheeks and cooing. “You’re a little Ferrari baby.”

You blew a rather unladylike raspberry at her and knocked her hand away, “Because it’s embarrassing! Dad was only there because he and his friend won tickets. So, when Ferrari marketing caught wind that soulmates had met in their pavilion, they practically fell over themselves.”

“Holy shit!” Sunny practically howled in delight, “Is that where all those baby pictures of you in little Ferrari onesies came from?”

“Ferrari’s own little fairytale, Mr-won-his-way-in and Miss-heir-to-a-real-estate-monopoly. It's like Romeo and Juliet; if Romeo and Juliet survived, had a kid and decided to make it the poster child of their love story.”

“Don’t sound so disgusted, that’s cute as fuck.” Sunny snatches up your empty cup and stacks it next to hers in the dishwasher.

You frown, “Not everything has to be a love story.”

“I don’t know, girl, I’m pretty sure you just asked me to play out your parents first meeting with you tomorrow.” She winks at you over her shoulder as she heads toward her room.

“Oh, fuck off, Sunny.”

“I think this calls for new outfits!” She emerges from her room, towel over one shoulder. “What was your Mum wearing when she met your dad?”

“We are not reenacting my parents meet-cute.”

“Who knows, maybe you’ll have your own meet-cute with a certain pain-prone soulmate, hm?” In the moment it takes you to reorientate yourself after her comment, she’s breezing past you with a bright, “I’m having first shower!”

You squark in indignation. Like hell, you’ll let either of those things happen to you this weekend.

(Part 2 : Ferrari's Prince - 03.04.24)

#charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 #formula one #f1 #formula 1 x reader #formula one fanfiction

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justarandompersononthehellsite · 3 days

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So... @muffinlance wrote a really awesome story. I read a post from a point in time, though I truly do not remember when since it seems like I've been working on this project forever, saying that she gives blanket permission for people to print and bind the story into a book (I think there was an also addendum saying that they do not give permission to be sold, since selling fic is illegal). This fic has had total control over my whole brain since it was sent to me (@creatorofthemind I believe it was you, so thank you forever for tuning me into it) back during the days of like chapter six or seven.

So here I am now, sharing this amazing journey of my first ever bookbinding adventure. Further reading below.

So to give you an idea of what's going on, this is a fanfiction about Zuko (Avatar the Last Airbender) (animated show version, the LA show did not exist yet and we do not speak of the movie) being adopted by Hakoda, Father of Katara and Zuko. (This might have also been what kicked off the Give Zuko A Parent craze, but don't fact check me.)

Overall, the characters from the show stick very well to the cannon versions, but where MuffinLance really shines is in the rich backstories and fleshed out feeling of all the non cannon elements. Especially the background characters. I would argue that the writing in this peice of fanwork could easily rival the cannon show at many points of comparison.

Now that you have context, we can get into the actual process.

To start, I used this guide to figure out where to even begin, and fount the included resource list to also be quite helpful. I cannot for the LIFE OF ME figure out where I found the template I used for the front matter and such, but it must be somewhere and I will link to it when I inevitably come across it again.

Then I began to typeset. This step took... a long time. I worked in chunks from about September of 2022 to late March of 2024. I would get a big section done, sometimes even the entire thing, but then find I hated the way I had done it and give up for months at a time. Such is the life of ADHD and flitting interest in projects I suppose.

And then finally, step one was done, and I was left with pages on a word document that look like this. (And do please let me know if you want the link to the document. It was so much work, and I would love to not be the only one to use it.)

Next step was printing out this beast. Ended up being about eight pages of front matter, and about 630 pages of body text.

That I printed wrong.

Twice.

Before finally getting it right. And then not getting a picture of it, because I finished at 4 am and had work at 7, and am also an idiot.

Then I simply stitched along, putting everything together into a beautiful text block.

And came up with a design for the cover.

Yes the glue did end up lumpy. Ignore it.

Yes I did have to sketch out the design onto a scraped page several times before I figured out what I was doing. Ignore that too.

The cover design does wrap around the entire cover. No I did not get a picture before I glued the thing down. See again: I'm an idiot. And just... massively impatient.

Finally, we get to the stage of gluing. Behold, my bookpress.

Of course, topped with Madam MuffinLances own actual professional-people book, Fox's Tounge and Kirin's Bone. It is Excelent. Here is the LINK so you can go and support this amazing author with the real-monies as well as the internet-kudos.

Then, once everything is glued together, one must give the book its "gilt" edges.

#atla #salvage #bookbinding #fanbinding #muffinlance #I'm a really big fan of this story and the characters ok?#They're really fun and I love them.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 10 hours

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Okay here's one. I really dont think I'm the asshole but my ex sure does.

AITA for refusing to buy my partner a jar of pickles?

So this story has like, a little background and some confounding factors i think but i really could go both ways on whether i was the asshole.

Ill start with both my ex (21nb) and i (23f) had severe mental health issues and were working on treatment when we were together. Theyd been in and out of inpatient stays throughout our three year relationship. Towards the Day of Pickles, i had my first inpatient stay where i got help i desperately needed to keep myself safe. This happened to be about a week after my 23rd birthday, but about two and a half weeks before their 21st birthday.

Anyway, at that time i had just gotten out of the hospital and started a new job at Joanns Fabrics (i outlived that retail fucker and im proud of it). I had been unemployed for the previous year and a half because of the pandemic and so the retail job was really my saving grace to have some sort of income to buy gas and groceries. My parents let me live rent free with them in their basement but i spent a LOT of time essentially squatting at my ex's dorm because my situation with my parents was not great.

Now my ex was also being financially abused by their mom so they had a monthly "allowance" of 200$ (of their own money they made at their on campus job) and no access to their bank statements. So i spent a lot of my own money on gas and groceries for both of us, and anything we wanted to do for fun, like visit the city. Without an income, this was SUPER stressful for me and i spiraled pretty hard with feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. Supporting two people, even minimal living expenses, on an income of exactly 0$ is the WORST.

Anyway, i got out of the hospital and pretty much immediately went back to picking up as many shifts as i could at work because id been on staff for all of two weeks before hospitalization. Knowing retail, i was probably on the precipice of losing hours or being fired altogether.

My ex wanted me to take time off to celebrate their 21st birthday (they didnt celebrate my birthday that year) and travel to see their family and drink etc. I got scheduled for an inconvenient time. I would have to miss their birthday if i didnt find someone to cover. I managed to switch shifts with another coworker who was nice enough to let me have her morning shift, so i was able to at least travel separately and be a little late to dinner.

The night of their birthday my ex wanted to get drunk and so we went to the liquor store. Now im generally pretty picky about alcohol but if i get anything special i always get enough to share. Mysteriously, no one ever offers to share the expense or pay me back. So with all of 150$ in my account, i purchased enough alcohol for myself and the rest of the party, and a bottle of (cheap af) liquor for myself. I was broke af until my next paycheck and was pretty much planning on giving up meals and staying at home because the commute to work was shorter and meant less gas.

My ex picked out a jar of boozy pickles and asked if i would get it for them for their birthday. I should note that with all the stress i was under i had found a birthday present for them but hadnt actually placed the order (was waiting to get paid). I also didnt lie to them about this and had told them that i hadnt gotten their birthday present yet. They were upset by this and told me they felt like i didnt care about them, to which i snapped and raised my voice a little.

I gave them a bit of a reality check. I told them in no uncertain terms that i was under a lot of stress, from nearly killing myself to being flat broke with little to no help from my family other than a conditional roof over my head, ordering their birthday present wasnt super high on my list of things to do and that i knew what i was going to get them and that i intended to order it as soon as i had the money to do so. After years of the sole attention being focused on keeping them alive, i needed some support and acting like i didnt care completely ignored EVERYTHING i did to keep us both afloat.They cried and played the victim as they tended to do and i was too stressed to do anything but be angry.

So when they asked for the pickles i told them no. I have NOTHING left in my bank account, and anything that was in my account was already allocated for something else.

They told me i was being selfish for buying myself alcohol on THEIR birthday, not even getting them a present, yelling at them, and then refusing to buy the one thing they asked for, especially after i refused to take off work the day before to hang out with them and their family. In front of our friends.

I told them that i was purchasing the alcohol for the whole party, that the present had slipped my mind, and that they were accusing me of not caring about them when i snapped. Then i walked out.

My bff went outside to help me cool down and i told him what was going on and how stressed i was and he said that he agreed with me, it was childish to expect me to pay for everything with no help from anyone and then act like im unreasonable for having to put limits on what i can purchase.

My ex ended up getting so pissed by all of this they broke up with me two days later, saying that their birthday was the final straw for them after I'd been so codependent and relying on them too much to survive.

I think its all ridiculous given all of the stress factors i was dealing with at the time. I feel like we're all entitled to the occasional emotional outburst/bouts of forgetfulness when we're stressed. But my ex seems to think im a selfish asshole. We've been no contact for the last two years so this isnt like a pressing concern or anything but it does make me roll my eyes occasionally.

So tumblr, aita?

(Btw im also much more financially stable now that I'm fully and properly medicated and away from them.)

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

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pianokantzart · 2 days

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As cute as it is that Maddie described Knuckles as her kid, weird how not a single member of the construction crew question how her kid was apparently a giant fire-truck red echidna

So let me get this straight, Knuckles has punched his way through 4 different construction crews? At this point this seems like something that should be solved with a little sit-down talk. Maddie didn't even explain to Knux what he did wrong, of course he's confused.

I have absolutely no idea how Maddie made it to the kitchen without seeing all the changes Knuckles made to the house.

Honestly if Knuckles hadn't created the livingroom fighting pit they might have been okay with keeping the warrior chair. It's clearly a part of echidna tradition, doesn't hurt anyone, and it might actually be fun to have Sonic and Knuckles have little (supervised + far from the house) fights over who gets rights to the chair.

The way Knuckles goes in for the hug with the ghost/hallucination pulls on my heartstrings. He hasn't been that affection with anyone. He needed that hug :(

"Wade Whipple? He is no great warrior" "Neither were you when we first met" ... To be fair, I believe Knuckles was younger than six at the time.

The fact that the "an echidna warrior has no home" line has come up twice makes me think he's going to be eating those words by the time he returns to the Wachowski household.

I like that Knuckles shows so much enthusiasm about Wade's bowling once he sees how skilled he is at it. Once someone actually takes the time to explain things without condescension and share their passion for it, he is incredibly open and friendly.

Oooh and now Wade is talking about how he loves bowling so much because his dad taught him oooooh no

GOD the way Knuckles immediately protects Wade when things get bad and does the "get down Mr. President" tackle. I love him so much.

The mixtape cd animation end credits are adorable.

Final thoughts?: It's fine. Obviously, Knuckles carries the show. The downside is the human characters. Maddie and Wade are okay, but everyone else is doing this over-the-top live-action cartoon level of acting that's a little grating. Too much ham. But overall, it's nice to know more about Knux and his background. I like also the addition that Knuckles has some pretty impressive rudimentary scrounging/building skills. I like to imagine him helping Tails construct something one day, with Tails handling the intricate electronics while Knuckles handles the base form/bulk mechanics.

#Knuckles series spoilers #not going to do full episode reviews going forward I'm just gonna jot down new factoids/headcanons for Knuckles from here on out #as well as other things that stand out to me #long post

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save-a-forest-ride-a-bear · 1 day

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🗒꒰⸝⸝₊ Masochism Tango ❛ ✧

Featuring: Gortash x Durge! Reader

Not proofread!

# Notes: cw for descriptions of violence and gortash being a freak. also as usual with my drabbles, no use of "y/n" and I try to describe the reader's dialogue and actions as little as possible

He'd be lying if he said he didn't decide to throw a ball only for the slim possibility of them showing up.

They hated him. That much was obvious. He could see it in their eyes during the coronation — that burning wrath and bloodlust that always made him weak in the knees. He couldn't help but wonder what they were thinking of. Maybe slashing his throat open, only to lap up the blood with their tongue. He hoped so. He revels in their aggression, even when it's directed towards him. Especially when it is.

The first hour of the ball was excruciating — having to pretend he cared about whatever the rest of Baldur's Gate's bourgeoisie were yapping about while apprehensively looking around, searching for the only thing in the world that mattered to him at that moment.

Just when he was starting to lose hope, he spotted them in a corner. The sight alone almost made him groan. Gods, how could they look even more beautiful, all dolled up just to see him. Or so he hoped, at least. He had to fight back the urge to just shove everyone out of his way, to go over to them and...

The band began to play before he could finish his thoughts, and he took that as the perfect opportunity. He sauntered over with confidence and elegance, ignoring the other guests with his eyes focused solely on them. Their little friends were nowhere to be seen, either. Even better.

They seemed uncomfortable, restless even, their fingers twitching slightly. Probably aching for their blade, he thought, and a grin formed on his lips. It's been so long, but they haven't changed a bit. He reached out, gently wrapping his fingers around their wrist and pulling them towards him before they even noticed his presence to slim the chances of being rejected.

"Good evening, my dear. I was starting to think you wouldn't come. Care for a dance?" It was supposed to be a question, but he didn't make it sound like one. He knew they'd say no, so he had to make it clear they didn't have a choice — just the way they were looking at him right now made it clear they were currently fantasizing about bashing his head into his neck. He smirked at that, dragging them firmly but not forcefully with him towards the dance floor. He wanted them angry — wanted them to want to hurt him.

He placed a hand on their waist, the other intertwined with theirs as he waltzed with them to the soft ballad playing in the background. "I rather missed this, you know. You used to be a most splendid dance partner, my treasure." He whispered, gazing deeply into those beautiful, livid eyes of theirs that seemed to bewitch him all the same as they did in the past. He didn't tell them the exact nature of their old relationship, but it was very much implied. He knew they could put two and two together.

Losing them hadn't been as easy as he desperately tried to pretend it was. He tried to pretend it didn't bother him, that it was just business as usual, that his heart didn't ache at the thought of never seeing them again — but whatever happened between the two flourished into something much deeper than he'd care to admit. And then, just when things were going well, they vanished. Just like that. They vanished and left him behind, alone, with Orin of all bloody people supposed to replace them. As if she could even hold a candle to them.

He tried his best to lie to himself — it was a good thing they were gone. They were making him soft, weak. He couldn't afford any distractions. And he actually believed those lies for a while. You can convince your mind of almost anything if you repeat it enough times.

But no amount of self-inflicted dishonesty could help ignore the flutter in his chest when they walked into the coronation room. He was almost giddy — even while trying his best to act professional, anyone could see that if he had a tail, it would be wagging at that moment. But after confirming they had lost their memories, a rush of conflicting emotions washed over him. On one hand, they didn't remember him. Didn't remember what they shared together, didn't remember his touch. On the other, this was his chance to finally try again — to make things right. World domination be dammed, it's not worth ruling over without them to share the throne with him, and it took losing them to realize that. They left the coronation without giving him a clear answer to his proposition to kill Orin, and that was that.

But now they were here — in his arms once again. Well, technically not yet, not entirely at least, but it was just the beginning. And he wouldn't stop until they were his again, body, mind and soul.

A small cackle escaped him as they purposefully stepped harshly on his foot, clearly trying to confront him without causing a scene. "You look awfully tense, my dearest. Almost as if you want to dismember me. You'd rather like that, I wager." He mused, spinning them to the rhythm of the song before pulling them back against him. "If you managed to, I imagine it would be quite the spectacle. A thrill, really. But you can't live without your tyrant, can you?" He taunted, the smirk on his face never fading.

"You still have that fire in you. I missed it." He admitted, leaning in to whisper so that his words were for their ears alone. "But we both know I'm not afraid of you, dearest. If anything, you're the one that should be concerned." He motioned around vaguely, eyes never leaving theirs. "I control this city. One wrong move, and I'll have my Steel Watch take care of you. That would truly be a shame, would it not?"

The threat was empty, of course. He had no plans of harming them, no matter what they said or did, but he always quite enjoyed pushing their buttons, seeing what makes them tick, how much it takes for them to break.

He pulled them closer, pressing them flush against his chest, lips grazing their ear. "So why don't you try that again? Threaten me. Hurt me. Say you'll kill me if I don't do as you say. I promise I won't run away." He breathed out, his hand reaching up to caress their cheek gently, pulling their face towards his. "I'll beg for it. Crave it. Just as I always did. Show me how much you hate me, my treasure. Remind me of our history."

There was an unmistakable twinge of desperation in his voice. He needed this in ways he never needed anything else in his life — needed them to crave him, to hurt him all over again, to make him bleed. It was a yearning so strong he was sure it would swallow him whole. Which is why he pressed his lips against theirs despite his better judgement to keep teasing, keep pushing. He couldn't wait any longer.

What he wasn't expecting was the reciprocation and much less the harsh bite on his lower lip, strong enough he could taste his blood on their tongue. He moaned into their mouth, hands settling on their hips to pull them even closer. He did miss this.

It was hungry, sloppy, open-mouthed, but he still found it perfect. One hand rose to cup their cheek, and when they finally parted, gasping softly for air, he brushed it against their lower lip, smearing the remains of blood before slipping it inside their mouth. "That's better." He whispered, his voice husky. He felt their tongue against his digit before their teeth once again sank down on his flesh, and he groaned with a grin.

"Let's find somewhere more private, my pet. I believe we have some catching up to do."

#bg3 #bg3 x reader #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 x reader #enver gortash #gortash x reader #lord enver gortash #gortash x durge #durgetash

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bluebirbo · 13 hours

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Breaking Down Moments From The Trailer

oh man, it’s been a while huh? the hb trailer came out a while ago but I figured it’s still relevant enough to talk about so that’s what I’m doing. I’ll simply be speculating on things that got my attention in the trailer!

starting with

these two scenes clearly take place in the same episode and in the same location. I’m not 100% sure that big shadow is Andrealphus but I think it’s safe to assume it’s him based off of what we know. I believe this is also the same area we saw the Octavia leak take place so I think there’s a good chance we see her side with Stella’s family in a fake out “turn to the evil side” scenario

on a similar note these two scenes of Blitzo and Millie fighting don’t seem to take place in the same episode. now I’m not saying this based off the location but off of the outfits. unless the characters do a quick change between fighting I think it’s safe to say we’re going to see a plot line of Millie and Blitzo having disagreements/fights through out AT LEAST two episodes of this season

this is pure speculation but I’m like ninety nine percent sure that this is Tilla. It’s very exciting that we might get to see her after so long but she’ll also probably get the Barbie Wire treatment if not worse so…

I’ve seen a lot of theories over who this fiery guy could be but I think the correct guess is the wrath sin, Satan. why he’s saying “you’re a disgrace” I have no clue. at first I assumed he was in the same room as Mammon and was scolding Stolas but Stolas isn’t in that scene (as stated very clearly)

i DO think that these two scenes are related and probably take place in the same time as the Mammon one. the railings with the snake and apple pattern appear in both. they also use the same template of blobby background characters if that will help prove my point at all

Octavia, you poor sweet summer child. she deserves so much better than what they’re gonna give her. on a more positive note though, I do really like that they’re keeping the star motif she’s had throughout the show

this is so dumb I can’t even talk about it. Verosika get outta there girl, you actually have a well explained reason to say Blitzo sucks, not this overdressed owl

no clue what this guy is about. he has the same marking on his chest that Blitzo has on his bell. we know that bell came from Tilla but that’s about it. if anyone has any theories I’m open to hearing them

the too many villains thing is really showing in this trailer. now not all these characters are necessarily villains but all of them will cause at least some struggle for our main characters. that’s seven in total (eight if you’re counting Stella and her brother separately and six of you group the cherubs and dorks together). all of this is supposed to span across only five episodes. that isn’t mentioning any internal conflict or joke time. the writing team is gonna have to work overtime to fit everything in

that’s all I’ve got to say. I could break down the trailer frame by frame but I don’t have the energy for that. I can’t wait to see everyone else’s thoughts as we progressively get closer to the release date of Full Moon. thanks for reading and I’ll see ya next time!

#helluva boss criticism #helluva boss critical #helluva critical

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linka-from-captain-planet · 8 hours

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Power ranking BG3 ladies based on how much I'd personally like to marry them

All main and supporting women: Shadowheart, Lae'zel, Karlach Minthara, Jaheira, Isobel, Aylin, Mizora, Orin

Plus my background babes: Florrick, Talli, Alfira, Lakrissa, Araj, Nocturne, Skoona, Adrielle, Z'rell, Roah, Nine-Fingers, and special guest star Philomeen

*Isobel and Aylin deserve to be regarded as individuals occasionally, so yes I'm wrecking that home (Alfira and Lakrissa too)

*essentially, top 10 is "women I would like to marry" and 11-21 and is "women I would not like to marry"

Quartermaster Talli. Granted she has an unfair advantage due to looking and vibing as a fusion of my IRL girlfriend and the butch lesbian who installed my new garage door 3 years ago whom I'm still mildly obsessed with. But anyway, we'd have a really great life together. We'd be able to communicate, we'd be compatible in the bedroom, we have similar values. Wife material, Grade A - the gold standard comparison for everyone else on the list.

Isobel. We'd have our tiffs (we can both be a little catty and sensitive), but overall we'd be a pretty stable match. We'd put in the work to make it last. I feel like being a cleric counts as a "job" so I appreciate that.

Nocturne. My #1 "I can fix her" pick because I think I actually can. I appreciate a hard worker, so Nocturne having distinguished herself in her uh workplace enough to become an officer is very respectable to me. We could go to therapy together. Not a perfect match, but I think we could make it work.

Lakrissa. Would be an easy second place if she didn't read so young. She's a little immature (a little over-dedicated, a little too self-sacrificing) and so she'd have to do some growing up, but I think we could make it work.

Florrick. Even though she's my #1 beloved and by FAR the sexiest person in the entire game and I would do anything to [redacted], we'd be like two brick walls getting married. We're too similar. But sheer affection and lust propel her to the top 5 anyway, even though we'd probably be married 10 sexless years before one of us finally snapped and filed for divorce.

Skoona. Assuming she drops the whole self-deprecating thing (can't stand that). She has a job, she's sensitive, she's romantic, she's humble, and she's hot. I don't think we'd knock each others' socks off, but we'd be a nice match.

Lae'zel. Extremely 22 years old and that's an issue for me. I'm also too sensitive to make it through her tough outer shell to get to the soft waifu meat inside. However, she does have amazing wife material to uncover, so I think if I could be her second wife, we'd be golden.

Adrielle. We'd have our problems as two neurotic faux-normies, but we're neurotic in different ways, so maybe we'd complete each other? She's very conscientious and thoughtful, though, which are the most important wife traits for me. With commitment and therapy, we'd make it work, but it wouldn't be the smoothest ride.

Jaheira. I don't really want to be a step parent to young kids, so that pulls her down the list a bit, but there's no way I couldn't have her in the top 10. We'd get along great; we have the same sense of humor; we're both not clingy. A good match, but not really the wife for me.

Minthara. I want her so bad but she'd eat me alive and not in the sexy way. I would let her walk all over me for 2-3 years though, assuming she didn't dump me first. Impossible to rank below the top 10, but objectively not the wife for me.

Shadowheart. Like Lae'zel, there's a lot to get through before you get to the wife material deep inside. I would also need to be her second wife. Also, I'm not doing that cottagecore shit and I cannot have that many animals in my house.

Araj. I know I called her bad in bed 2 different ways in two other posts but that's not a problem, she's so sexy and interesting to me that I know I would fall super hard for her. I too love science? We have something in common. I feel like she'd bring out a lot in me, not necessarily good things, but to be loved is to be changed? I would probably come to my senses before really risking it all though.

Alfira. I love her so much but I am no Lakrissa, I could not handle both supporting her while she pursues her artistic goals AND having to top every time. We'd be that miserable couple that lets it drag on forever because nothing is *wrong* even though nothing is *right* and wind up hating each other.

Nine-Fingers. She'd stress me out too much. Running the streets, making enemies... what if a shake-down goes wrong? Admittedly I'm tempted to live out my mafia wife fantasies with her, but realistically, I think I'd have too many nervous breakdowns to make it worth it.

Karlach. The divorce would be so epic that I almost wanted to rank her higher, but I just know deep down that we would trigger/frustrate the fuck out of each other and completely implode long before making it to the courthouse and/or altar.

Aylin. I routinely get over-stimulated by my cats brushing against my leg when I'm trying to multi-task working and listening to music, so there is no universe in which I could tolerate being married to Aylin. She's too exuberant and touchy. I would be scream-crying WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME every time she simply asked me how my day was in her usual volume. An absolute disaster, she'd smother me despite her best intentions.

Z'rell. She can have place #17 to match the 17 husbands which I would not be okay with. I'm not jealous, but I'm not THAT not jealous. She's also just really harsh and I'm a crier, so we probably would not be able to have a conversation, let alone a relationship.

Roah Moonglow. Like Nine-Fingers, but I feel like the Zhent is like, a second-rate criminal organization and so it'd be like being a second-rate mafia wife. All the stress, fewer fist-sized emerald necklaces.

Mizora. On top of everything else, she's also a corporate LAWYER... yuck

Philomeen. I would go on 1 date with Philomeen, let her start a blowup fight with me outside of [regional burrito chain], let her neg me into fucking anyway, go no contact, and let her booty call me 2 years later at 3AM like nothing happened, but I would not even slightly consider dating her, let alone marrying her.

Orin. Ignoring the whole serial killer thing that's neither here nor there, the problem is the combo of overbearing family (my #1 dealbreaker of all time) and lack of communication skills (my #2 dealbreaker of all time). Like I'd be constantly trying to get her to go no contact with Serevok and she'd never listen and she'd always be talking in fucking Dr Seuss riddles and disappearing and pissing me off.

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the-eldritch-it-gay · 2 days

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Majexatli as a Companion

[Part 1/?]

[Questions from here]

Where can your Tav be recruited?

Majexatli can be recruited in Act 1. They are found on the Risen Road, by the hyenas. When approaching for the first time, a cutscene will play, in which the player sees a dire coyote eating one of the hyenas and being attacked by gnolls. The dire coyote races after the gnolls beyond the trees and out of sight, allowing the player to investigate the dead and dying hyenas on the road.

After the player begins combat with the hyenas, Majexatli will join initiative, rushing into combat to assist the players from where the dire coyote has disappeared. Once combat ends, Majexatli will introduce themselves and their tadpole will connect with the players, indicating that they too were on the Nautiloid.

Your tadpole squirms in recognition, their fragmented memories becoming your own. Flashes of verdant forests, vast grasslands, kneeling before a gathering of druidic elders, wandering overgrown paths, the title of Faithwarden. With each flash, however, an undercurrent of hunger, growing in intensity with each passing memory until it erupts into something blood-red and razor-sharp.

The Dark Urge will get a unique dialogue option here, relating to the bloodlust in Majexatli’s memories. Druids will also get a unique dialogue with an insight check where they can mentally speculate on Majexatli’s druidic background and note that Majexatli’s druidic armor is very different from most druids. Druid players will also recognize the title of Faithwarden and note the high honor of the title. Rangers can notice that their armor and clothing seem more reminiscent of a ranger than a druid. Clerics can notice their lack of a holy or druidic symbol.

Majexatli will offer their assistance to the player, saying that they are an accomplished druid and alchemist and that they can help navigate the area.

If allowed, Majexatli will either join the player's active party if there’s room, or be told to head to the player’s camp.

Does your Tav have any comments or advice when you recruit other companions?

I can't imagine Majexatli being recruited before some of the origin companions, but I've included everyone anyways for the fun of it.

About Wyll: The Blade of Frontiers... I haven't actually heard of him, I'm afraid. He seems a good man, though, and rather charming...

About Karlach: It's nice to have another tiefling in camp. I imagine she's one hell of a fighter, too, anyone who's lived in the hells has to be.

About Astarion: Hm. I'd keep an eye on the pale one.

About Shadowheart: If I've learned anything during my years, it's that you should always have a healer with you, regardless of whatever they have going on. Shadowheart will be important if we want to stay alive.

About Lae'zel: Lae'zel is quite the warrior, it's wise to have her around. I don't know much about her people, but if she says she knows the cure for our parasites, I'm willing to follow her lead.

About Gale: Stranger as it is, I've never met a wizard. Gale seems quite knowledgeable. He's kind of everything I imagined a wizard would be like, if I'm honest. Very... wizardly.

About Halsin: (sighs) I suppose it's good for Halsin to finally join us, given how long he's been in our camp.

About Minthara: I think it's good to have Minthara with us, as long as she stays on our side that is. I might not agree with everything she says, but she's quite impressive in battle.

About Jaheira: Hm. Another druid.

What sort of general actions raise or lower their approval?

Raise approval: helping people in need, killing people who are abusing power/authority, respecting nature, some violence, survival skills (foraging, gathering plants, gathering loot from killed beasts) being kind to children

Lower approval: senseless cruelty, delighting in the suffering of others, expressing disgust for monsters, abusing authority/power, taking advantage of innocent people, neutrality, maintaining balance or status quo

#eldritch it speaks #salam plays bg3 #oc: majexatli #long post

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one-idea · 2 days

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I have convinced one of my co-workers to watch one piece!

We have been playing games where he asked a me who wins 1 v 1 fights or crew vs crew and I’ve given enough background for him to finally decide to watch.

Today I started the game. Showing him a picture of a character and asking him to describe their character to me and if they are friends or foes. Mind you he has watch approximately 1/2 of the 1st episode so far.

That’s fluffy! (Great job)

He’s obviously a friend and he’s super nice!

that’s a foe! He’s got the foe look. Or he’s a friend but he’s argumentative. Actually you know what, I’m going to say friend with a mischievous attitude.

That’s a foe. He’s got the emo look going on! So that’s his personality. He’s an emo foe.

My mind says for but so far you’ve told me everyone is a friend (I’ve been telling him how right it wrong he is without to many spoilers!) so I’m going to go friend. But he’s a bada** and I’m guessing he’s like a Warlord or something (he knows about warlords and emperor status not who is who)

That’s a foe! He’s conceded and he thinks he’s the best. Better than he actually is. Defiantly an enemy. And he’s not as strong as he thinks

(“This is Shanks” he was shocked. Me telling him about Shanks is what finally convinced him to watch. “That’s not what I pictured him to look like AT ALL!” He was shook. I had to pull up other pictures of Shanks to help him process.)

That’s a foe. And he looks like he just ripped a gigantic fart. Is that his superpower? The power of gas? Is that his devil food? No that’s not it, devil fruit!

He a friend. He looks like a barbarian. Like he’s super strong and friendly but not the smartest.

I’m going to go friend. She has a sweet face. Ya I bet she’s super sweet and innocent. (I told him that I would text him in a few weeks to ask if he still thinks Nami is sweet and innocent)

Oh he’s… neutral. Not a friend not a foe. He is a bada** to. He’s on a different crew. And he’s strong. 1st mate strong.

10.

She is a friend. I feel like she is on a different crew. I thinks she on that female warlord crew. Who was that Boa? Ya she’s on Boa’s crew. Not first mate but second mate. Ya that feels right. But definitely friends

#one piece #monkey d. luffy #portagas d. ace #straw hat pirates #fire fist ace #one piece ace #roronoa zoro #nico robin #gol d. roger #nami #vinsmoke sanji #sanji #black leg sanji #shanks #red haired shanks #trafalgar law #edward newgate #whitebeard one piece

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penvisions · 2 days

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final chapter celebration! {by the grit of sandpaper}

i kinda wanna give celebrating this fic a try since it's been such a journey! was thinking of taking a leaf out of the book of @macfrog, since they did the same for their lovely fic sweet child o' mine that i had an absolute blast following along from the first chapter

{by the grit of sandpaper} has brought me so many new followers and readers and i want to complete the fic with y'all in mind! i've got it mostly outlined but have to actually write the scenes out, so i'm tentatively saying it'll be ready for posting in the next two weeks. with that in mind y'all can be rest assured all your questions about olive and joel will be answered then! i have loved writing this little universe and sharing it with you, the comments and replies on each chapter have blown me away in the best way possible, the energy surrounding this fic has rivaled that of {garnish} and i am so grateful

send in an ask with an emoji between 04/26 and 05/05 and let's celebrate!

🤎 send in an ask about the fic! can be anything from more background on olive or how things between the scenes played out

🍄 send in a mushie for three out of context images for a sneakie peak from the final chapter and epilogue (maybe even one shot ideas and deleted scenes 👀)

🐎 send in a 'small talk' subject and i'll write a small snippet about olive and joel while out on patrol (kinda like the favorite chip flavor convo they had while clearing teton village)

🌲 just share your thoughts on the fic as we come to a close on it, maybe a favorite line or scene

🪚 send this in for a reference pic of what joel's beautiful hands have created!

feel free to send more than one or even multiple! this is for y'all to have fun and for me to get back into the groove of being excited about writing again once things calm down and i'm settled in my new residence, love y'all ♡♡

ao3 link || series masterlist || main masterlist || ko-fi

taglist: @joelsgreys @morning-star-joy @sawymredfox @pascalpvnk @littlemisspascal @merz-8 @orcasoul @sabmat @dreamingofleon

@keylimebeag @picassopedro @tuquoquebrute @alejaa-a @jessthebaker @joeloverture @joelscruff @swiftispunk @tightjeansjavi @undercoverpena @corazondebeskar @honeyedmiller @novas-dreamworld @slugz-writes-shit @hiroikegawa @dugiioh @persephone-girl @furiousmushroom @copperhalfcent @lizlil @hiddenbabynyc @part2joelmiller @formulafun @noisynightmarepoetry @sofiparallel @blueberrylemon7 @maryrhodalouandted @joelsdagger @fluff-lover

@communism-bitches @slugz-writes-shit @mosssbawls @vie-is-punk

@ohhellotherebumblebee @koshkaj-blog @r4vens-cl4ws @picketniffler @joeldjarin

#dev talks #fic: by the grit of sandpaper #artisan joel miller #carpenter joel miller #woodworker joel miller #jackson joel miller

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renranram · 1 day

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My Barista ⊹ ࣪ ˖

sfw

where quackity starts to leave paper hearts for barista y/n every single day || short btw

alex had caught an interest for the new barista from the café he had been going ever since he attended college

he liked you because of your personality, he finds you kind, friendly and approachable but never had the balls to talk to you unless he has to order something

“ look, why don't you just talk to them man? it's that simple, just say hi, i find you attractive and shit like that can i get your number? “ his friend, karl, states as alex groans out, fixing his earbuds as he glances at you

the man was in a call with karl, hoping for a collab but it leads on to him ranting about you, “ you know it's not that easy, i mean, just look at them, they're so pretty, and kind, and shit like that “ alex sighs out

“ be glad im filming for a video, if i was there i would be the one to tell them “ karl continues to scold his bestfriend, “ yeah yeah of course you would “ alex chuckles as he fixes his beanie

“ oh, what's that? “ he asks, spotting a heart shaped paper on karl’s background, “ oh, jimmy challenged us to make origamis and stuffs “ karl grabs the heart shaped origami as he got it closer to the camera

“ it's cute “ alex commented as karl shrugs, smug, “ because i made it “ he flips his hair as alex could only chuckle before glancing up at you again

“ uh… how can you make that? “ he asks, “ it's really simple! “ karl exclaims as he guides alex, gently folding the paper in even sides then creating a paper heart

and after that, history was made, at first, he didn't actually mean to leave the paper, he forgot to pick it up because he was rushing, but seeing you smile as you pick up the paper heart, he started intentionally leaving them

and you, didn't mind, you cleaned his table everytime he leaves, hoping he'd leave another and he does, it was kinda awkward every time he orders, the two of you woupd avoid eye contact but both will be a blushing mess

“ see! im literally such a pogger “ karl cheers for him, “ yeah yeah yeah, whatever… the only problem is uhh… i kind of… don't know how to properly talk to them “ he scratches the back of his head

“ bruh “ karl exclaims, “ hm… what about you leave your number on one of the paper hearts? “ karl suggested as alex chuckles, “ fuck no, and make them think im a creep? “

“ come on! just try it, dont be so ballsy “ karl insists as alex pause, “ ill think about it “ he mutters

he left two papers for you this time, a note and the usual paper heart, ‘ open the heart:) ‘ the note states as you slowly unfolds the heart, seeing his number wrote inside

you of course hesistated first, thinking this was just a small joke or a prank but you're unaware how he would rant about you to his twitch chat and friends, his twitch chat knowing you as ‘ his favourite barista ‘

at first your texts are very awkward, but the moment you mentioned a hobby of yours it just immediately clicked, everyday he'd go on the café daily, the two of you would chat if the only customer was him

days go by, and by just a blink, alex lays his head on your shoulder, “ happy anniversary babe “ he mumbles, smiling as he pecks your cheek

“ 3 years “ you added, intertwining your hands with his as you two sat on a park, just admiring the fine summers day, “ is it really that long already? “ he chuckles as alex sits up

“ maybee “ you laugh as you open your picnic basket, setting down the strawberry that alex would always order and some other snacks too of course

as you set things up alex looks at you with admiration and a smile, fixing your hair as he pulls out a paper heart from his pocket, gently handing it to you

“ oh? “ you ask, looking at him in confusion, “ you should unfold it or something “ he smiles at you cheekily

you slowly unfold the neatly folded paper, ‘ will you marry me? ‘ the paper reads out as you gasp, as suddenly alex was in one knee, holding out a small box for you

looking up at you, “ i know this isn't your ideal proposal but uh “ he scratches the back of his head as you tackle him with a hug, already sobbing

you press kisses all over his face, leaving your lipstick marks as alex could only chuckle, gently guiding you to wear your engagement ring

#alex quackity #quackity fluff #quackity fanfic #quackity x reader #quackity #alex quackity x reader #qsmp fanfiction #qsmp quackity #qsmp

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kierantierney3 · 16 hours

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Mason Mount

First part, this is more just an introduction to the characters, seeing how their relationship started. Maybe a bit of a boring one but hopefully you find the others pick up!

Warnings: Fighting, breakup

Background information

Throwback

You first met Mason when your brother was allowed a friend over for dinner one night, you believed that it was love at first sight. You got the biggest crush on him and obviously couldn’t act up on it because he was your brother friend.

You got embarrassed whenever he came over which seemed to be a long, your mum seemed to pick up your crush quickly.

——

When it came to your birthday, your brother begged your parents to let you throw a party. Which they were happy enough to agree to with strict rules set of course.

You were not too bothered with having a party, you would have been happy enough going out for a meal with your family, it was your brother who wanted the party more, inviting his friends and even strangers.

You had a small friendship group who you invited, they came over early to help you get ready for your big day.

“So is Mason here tonight?” Sarah asked, Sarah was your oldest friends, you had met in primary 1 and had become best friends, she was your closest friend, the friend you told everything too, she was the only one in your friendship group who knew about your crush on Mason, which still hadn’t gone away.

“Yes, my brother invited him” you replied trying to stay calm and collected at the fact Mason would be here.

The party was crazy, you barely knew anyone. “Who are these people?” you asked your brother “My friends” he replied he was drunk already you could tell from the way he was acting.

“Hey happy birthday” you heard a voice say you were grabbing yourself a drink, turning around you found Mason stood there. The kitchen was the only room that was half quiet. “Thank you” you replied feeling yourself getting red, at least you could blame it on the warm environment.

“So how are you feeling?, finally legal and 18” he asked “Good, can’t say this party is really for me though, i don’t think i even know half of these people” you replied “Well if it helps neither do i, guessing it’s some of his Uni friends” Mason didn’t go to Uni he was given the opportunity to become a footballer which was his childhood dream, meanwhile your brother went to Uni to do a 4 year course.

You and Mason stood in the kitchen speaking for a once, you had never spoken to him by himself and for so long. You never realised how nice he actually was.

At once point you got lost in his eyes, and leaned in for a kiss, which he kissed back before pulling away “We shouldn’t have done that, your my best friends sister” he said getting angry, you were embarrassed leaving the kitchen and past the people at the party heading up stairs to your bedroom.

Fuck why did you do that, you couldn’t even blame it on the fact you were drunk, you had only had a couple drinks. You were embarrassed, yes you may of had a crush on him but you were never going to act up on it.

You heard a knock on the door, “y/n let me in please” it was Mason you really didn’t want to let him in, you stayed quiet hoping he would leave but of course he didn’t knocking again before telling you he was coming in and before making a move he was in your bedroom.

“Look i shouldn’t have gotten so angry at you i’m sorry” he said “It’s ok” you replied “No it was rude of me” he said “No seriously it’s ok, it’s embarrassing for me, i never should have kissed you even if i had a crush your my brother friend it’s fine” You replied quickly realising what you revealed to him.

It was silent “I know you do” he revealed to you “How?” you asked “You were always quite obviously with it” he said, you always thought you did well to hid it, clearly not. “And your mum told me” What the heck? Your mum told him “Told me to be nice to you as you had a crush” he explained, you were so embarrassed.

“I’m so sorry” you said as this point in time you wanted the ground to swallow you up. “Don’t be” he replied.

——

That was the last of that chat. The next was Mason birthday he was turning 21. Both you and your brother had been invited.

It was a big party, he had invited some of his Chelsea teammates, derby teammates and some of the england u21 players.

You didn’t know much people at the party, so your plan was too turn up show your face then leave after about 2 hours.

At least that was your plan which definitely didn’t happen. Mason made sure to stick by your side the whole time even though it was his birthday.

“So i have a question for you?” Mason asked “yes?” you hated questions like this at least if it was over messages you had time to think of an answer.

“What will it take for you to go out on a date with me?” he asked you, you were shocked, Mason asking you out of an date, “Maybe just ask me?” you replied you never expected this.

“Well then y/n will you go on a date with me?” he asked with a big smile on his face. “Of course i will” you replied, you couldn’t wait to get home to tell Sarah, you just knew how happy she would be for you.

——

Part 1 is finished. The next part is the break up this was most of a throwback to show you how there relationship started.

#football #football imagine #football imagines #footballers #footballer #football x reader #premier league #mason mount x reader #mason mount imagines #mason mount imagine #mason mount #man utd imagine #manchester utd #manchester united #footballer x reader #football fanfic

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