#i think this is hard to explain in a way that doesnt make me sound like an asshole
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discussing fanfiction when i am a pretentious bitch is so hard for me to do bc i feel like there's this general presumption that if you're info fanfiction you must like a lot of the Popular Trappings Of Fanfiction
but my problem is that i go looking for things Specifically related to the character or the story or the setting first and foremost and Tropey things are often at the bottom of my list
it's kind of what gets me about the whole 'people are reading ai written fic omg we're going to be replaced' thing, like
an ai can probably write a competent formulaic romance full of commonly used tropes and then plug character names in, sure
but it's never going to be, like. specific in the way that i want my fic to be. like. an ai is not going to go "i want to write 10k words about this character being traumatized because the text kind of scratches the surface of that possibility but never really Gets Into It the way I want it to" or "i want to see how these two characters with an extremely specific dynamic would play off each other in this circumstance". that's what fic is about to me. i don't really care for the Big Tropes for the most part because like... they're tropes because they're shorthand and broadly applicable. I want hyperspecific, obsesive and chewing on the source material in a way where if you changed the names and tried to make the story original or unrelated to canon it would make absolutely 0 fucking sense and it cannot be repackaged as something else?
and that's not to say that no fic that CONTAINS any major tropes is inherently NOT that. I think a trope is a good jumping off point and I have read some fucking incredible takes on common tropes because the author had a really clear vision of how the characters and world would WORK in that framework. i'm more saying like... i don't look for trope first, character second. i look for fics by character first and the common fandom tropes it may or may not use are unimportant to me. i just want to see something about THIS specific character that comes from someone else who has A Lot of thoughts about This Specific Character?
#i think this is hard to explain in a way that doesnt make me sound like an asshole#and i also dont think that work that is formulaic or tropey first and character intensive second is Bad or Shouldnt Exist#just that it's not for me#and it's not what i'm looking for#and it kind of misses the point about what fanfiction IS to me#if i'm interested in a trope or a plot device or a setting there's tons of original fiction that may handle that in a new and interesting w#way*#but i go to fanfiction because i want to see other people using it as a vehicle to pick apart or study the material it's based on#that's what makes it fanfiction#if i just wanted to put my favorite characters in Literally Any Story i could find/replace their names in Anything#anyways#this is a probably incomprehensible rant#its friday i dont wanna work i wanna get off work and play zelda and hang out with my partners
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i cant really grasp what it is about coffee's for closers but it makes me want to fall down and wail
#theres something going on with the key its in and the sound of the unstrumentals contrasting w lyrics#and other music fuckery etc#this song sounds BIG which is interesting bc most of the songs i describe that way are MUCh different#foundations of decay is big. you were the cancer by thursday is big. these are overwhelming songs that have power behind them#coffees for closers is loud i think but it doesnt have the same heaviness to it as these other songs#but yeah. the way that the chorus is sung loud and strong but not quite with upset emotion??#he doesnt sound angry saying ''i will never believe in anything again'' but it still carries in a way that makes me crumple#posts#apparently i CAN grasp what it is about this song its just hard to explain
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Round 3
Propaganda Under Cut
Kairi
kairi is the third protagonist of the kingdom hearts series and the third member of the destiny trio, alongside fan favorites sora and riku. sora/riku shippers HATE kairi, and will go out of their way to discount her at every turn. the hate for her ranges from typical "she's a boring bitch" to fans of soriku making five-hour long video essays reassuring their fellow shippers that the big bad kairi won't show up in the next installment – to quote one video, "she's in a box. she's on the shelf. four walls, no door." kairi is the greatest bogeyman the soriku fandom has ever known, to the point where most of said video essays and fanon meta posts focus not on why sora and riku should get together, but rather on why they don't like kairi.
Literally has a 100+ page Google doc fan theory writing her out of the narrative and putting all of her (few) canonical accomplishments onto half of the popular m/m ship (soriku). Don't even get me started on how her memory was completely written out of the canon plot of re:coded. KH is a nightmare to explain so dude trust me she is THE victim of yaoi
She is so fundamental to the plot and themes and narratives of game and yet it is near impossible to find anything about her thats not ship bashing pre-mlm with the other two characters. I dont even care if she ends up with one of the main characters i just want fans to see her as a cool character to love or like, anything other than “annoying comphet girl.” You can write your mlm but pleaae stop inventing comphet where it doesnt exist. She does not even get to spend time with sora ever?? Why does everyone see her as a threat and a thing to destroy?? Let her have friends so help me
Misa Amane
she gets treated in-canon the way fandoms treat female characters that Threaten an m/m ship. it's like, "oh why don't you go sit in the corner and be pretty, misa, while the Men have intelligent conversation and pretend they aren't ten seconds from fucking each other, doesn't that sound nice?" it's infuriating. and MAYBE it's better now but i remember her getting treated the same way in fanfiction too, like we all need to do just as badly by our female secondary characters as fucking tsugumi ohba, but with the added insult of making her be alternately oblivious of the relationship between light and L or actively trying to sabotage it—incompetently, of course, because god forbid misa be allowed dignity or moments of cleverness.
she's one of the first characters I think of when I consider old school fandom misogyny. The annoying bitch and clingy crazy gf allegations were AFTER HER ASS. She's also a lot more intelligent than people gave her credit for, but most seem inclined to take the Very Biased word of our unreliable, narcissistic narrator and his homoerotic arch nemesis and claim that just because she's bubbly and into romance that she's also a complete moron. Which is blatantly untrue. Everyone was afraid of Misa girlbossing too hard. Killing people and devoting yourself to the deranged twink of your dreams even though you know he'll never love you back??? Having a hardcore goth aesthetic and being so Hot even literal Death Gods are into you?? God forbid women do ANYTHING!
Not only is she the victim of yaoi culture, she is the victim of early 2000s misogyny by an author that wanted to introduce a girl character because he knew his male rivals were getting too homoerotic. She is a goth bimbo icon who portrays what I think is one of the few callouts for stan culture and what parasocial relationships can do to both the stan and the idol. The fact that she is a toxic fan of Kira and also hot, funny, sociable is tragic in its own way, which I think the author did try to touch on but was too misogynistic too really get through. Of course, she was reduced to villain status by the fandom and anime alike because she got in the way of the supposed romance in their psychological horror anime.
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hey!! i love your writing so so much oh my god. your account is just perfect– if it's not too luch to ask (and forgive me if this is a little long) can i request headcanons with taskforce 141 + masc reader???
reader's kind of distant from the rest of the task force. they all get along with him just fine, does what he's asked to do on missions and all that, but he just feels kind of... absent. nobody really gets what his deal is, but they've gotten used to him. (BONUS POINTS IF HE ALSO WEARS A MADK HE DOESNT TAKE OFF THAT OFTEN... i wanna be cool too </3)
one day he wakes them up, and (to their surprise) tells them that he had a nightmare. this is the softest his voice has ever been and the most he's ever opened up– just. fluff and comfort lolz :p
FIRST TIME WITH FLUFF OR COMFORT!!!
i’ve always had a hard time writing this kind of stuff but i’m cleaning out my inbox so.. ^^
SORRRYYY IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO GET TO THIS >3<
it sorta implies angst?? like the nightmare is something serious of an issue?? idk
(Callsign will be Anon to make it easier for me ☹️)
Anon has always been distant, keeping some space and never really contributing to any of the conversations x But they still treasure him just as much as each other. They understand that some people just have a hard time with stuff like that or just don’t wanna get into it in general.
Soap and Ghost always makes constant visual checks to see if he’s still part of the group, since he’s always quite as a mouse it’s hard to keep track of him. Price would make sure to save a seat for him whenever he’s a little late. And Gaz would always check up on you from time to time.
They make sure you felt part of the team. Just because Anon doesn’t really have a deep connection with any of them doesn’t make him any less one of them.
—
In the middle of a mission they all had to sleep in a safe house for the night. A rather small one since they had to share a room together. Sleeping bags all lined up across the room. One soldier found it hard to get at least a wink of sleep. Price’s and Soap’s loud and grumbling snoring didn’t really disturb them since it was practically white noise to him now.
After half an hour Anon finally found the ability to be carried into rest. It was peaceful for a while. Until he woke up violently, body twitched when he woke up from how intense it was. He found that it was hard to keep his breathing under control and try to focus on one thing. Physically and emotionally.
He put this off as a last resort and tried everything to calm himself down. But when all else failed he turned to Ghost beside him. Reaching for his mask and hastily pulling his mask over his head, hesitating before bringing his hand up to shake Ghost awake, he’s a light sleeper anyway.
“What? What happened?” After a second to comprehend what was happening he sat up and looked around, thinking something happened, like someone broke in or someone found them. But once he saw his comrade’s, somewhat, relaxed but worried eyes and stopped.
Sitting up fully and comfortably, he asked if everything was alright. Judging by his lack of response Ghost nodded, immediately understanding and not making a big deal out of it since this is way out of his comfort zone.
“Go on.” He nodded his head, sitting next to him and relaxing against the wall, still half asleep but still willing, very willing, to listen and comfort if needed. Ghost listened intently as Anon began to explain and mumble out what happened in his sleep.
“Uhm.. Fuck— Now that I’m thinking about this, it sounds stupid—” Looking down and fiddling with the edge of his sleeping bag Anon’s interrupted by Ghost.
“Just tell me. You’ve already got me up” He’s probably not the best one for comfort, but he knows he’s trying, not the best with his words, but he’s willing to listen.
It stuns him for a second with his bluntness, but chuckles lightly, knowing that he really does wanna listen. He starts to explain, second guessing himself every couple sentences, but slowly he gets more comfortable with sharing.
Halfway through Soap starts to stir and move in his sleep, making both stop and just stare. Turning around to see both sleeping bags empty, Soap immediately sits up and searches for them, only to see them off the side, sitting together.
“Oh.. shit..” He calms himself down, both Ghost and Anon look at each other before looking back at Soap. He slowly sits up and crawls over to where they are, next to Anon so he’s between Ghost and Soap.
“What’re you two doin’ up?” Somehow his accent is deeper when he’s half-awake. Slouching back against the wall, almost leaning on Anon’s shoulder.
“I couldn’t sleep after.. a.. uhhh… nightmare” Anon was hesitant to explain, wondering if waking up his friends were really worth it, hoping that they wouldn’t make fun of him. Soap just hums in response.
“Nightmare? Al’right. Continue” To Anon’s surprise, Soap wants in too. He looks back to Ghost who just shrugs and nods, silently telling you that it’s up to him whether he wants to share or not.
Before Anon can even start again, both Price and Gaz wake up, both confused as fuck, but following along, dragging their sleeping bags over to him. They were all now wide awake, Price laying back in his sleeping bag, arms crossed, half-awake but still lucid enough to understand stuff coherently.
Anon started to explain again, relaxed to see how supportive his teammates are with how little they really know about him. Once he got to a certain part of the nightmare, the part that really made it a nightmare, his lungs felt tight once again.
Suddenly his mask felt so thick and concrete, he had to lift it up to his nose to breathe. Blubbering out apologies between breathes as they tried not to stare too much.
“Nah, nah. You’re fine” Ghost reassured him through his mutters, rubbing his back to try and soothe him. It didn’t, but it was something. Something that they were there to listen.
“Don’t force yourself if you don’t wanna tell” Gaz nodded, not wanting to force Anon to go too much out of his comfort zone, in the chance that he changed his mind and wasn’t okay with sharing this kind of stuff.
“I’m fine.. fine” Anon nodded his head, realizing how much of his face he exposed and tried to cover it up with his hands so he can still breath. But for those couple seconds that his lower half of his face was open. A large, old, scar decorated his lips, diagonally going from the top right to bottom left, almost reaching his chin.
With something so unexpected being exposed, the fact that Anon even reached out, it made them all alert to watch out for his emotions and how he’s feeling. But what was most surprising for them, was how he talked. It was usually so stern and short, always getting straight to the point. Almost robot like. But now, it’s softer, more warm but sorta confused, he fumbled in his words a little but it was just so different than how he is out on the base.
An hour has passed, but now that all of that is out of Anon’s head, and everything, almost everything, was off his chest, the sleepiness started to catch up to him. In the midst of Ghost explaining how he was feeling and the possible reason for it, Anon was already asleep, snoring softly as he struggled to keep up.
They knew that this was something you’d never do. So it was a sort of shock for him to break his blocked off demeanor. But it made them feel good that Anon even considered venting. Even if it was something small like a complaint or something annoying, they wanted him ti let it out.
(this has been in my drafts for forever T-T)
#call of duty modern warfare#cod fanfic#cod mw2#cod men#task 141#ghost mw2#cod headcanons#cod modern warfare#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#ghost x male reader#soap x reader#john soap mactavish#soap x male reader#captain price#john price#price x reader#price x male reader#gaz x reader#kyle gaz garrick#gaz x male reader#ghost headcannons#soap headcanons#price headcanons#gaz headcanons#cod fluff
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the weirdest thing about it just being the four of them is how insistent lu ten is about him and azula getting a vote in everything. hes trying really hard to stop feeling weird about it.
at first, zuko was more than okay with just going with whatever mom and lu ten have in mind. theyre the grown ups, after all, and they make a good team. they haven’t been captured, or even chased, so that has to mean something. it never really hit him how well they got along until now that theyre alone. he can’t help but start wondering about how long they knew each other before he was born.
and things between him and azula have been… awkward. he doesnt really know what to do with how well shes been taking this. something her and lu ten both do is that when they think nobody is looking, they get these really tense and faraway looks on their faces.
zuko is pretty sure it has something to do with dad and uncle.
it might be bad of him, but hes not all that upset about being away from dad. hes terrified of what will happen if they get caught, yeah.
but they wouldnt have any kind of fun in this crazy new life if dad was here, would they?
last night, lu ten grilled a bunch of big red fish over a fire, with some steamed bamboo. mom acted out a story for them as entertainment. its something she hasnt done in… well, forever. but she would stop and ask both him and azula what happened next, they both would yell out the possible answers, and mom would pick either or and change the story depending on which she chose to make the ending unpredictable.
its the ease he feels on ember island when just the four of them go, just in a different place. so maybe it’s not as weird as zuko thinks it is.
mom and lu ten decided that leaving was the only way to be happy and have opinions, so they left. the palace rules stopped that, and nobody went along with palace rules more than dad. so he didnt get to come with. mom and ursa aren’t very upset about that, so neither will he.
at the cost of his dad, yeah, and thats traitor talk, but hes alive, isnt he? agni hasnt struck him or everyone else down for being glad dad isn’t here, has she? he’s okay with that and they’re okay with that.
zuko decides as he stares up at the blue sky peaking between the tree tops, that he wont feel bad about wanting to be happy and giving his opinion anymore. and he’s not weird for that if mom and lu ten aren’t weird.
azula is way weirder than everyone that’s weird on the whole earth combined, though. so it might be harder for her to not feel bad about wanting to be happy or giving her opinion. or being happy about things that arent weird, because only the weirdest things make azula happy.
lu ten is better at talking to her than anyone else, but…
he scoots next to her on the rotted log she’s resting on, watching mom comically struggle to help lu ten prepare breakfast.
“do you miss mai and ty lee?” he asks her, forcing himself to sound casual. she hasnt tried to set his butt on fire since they left, but who knows what might change that.
“miss them?” she repeats, but not like shes mocking him for the question- more like she’s asking herself again.
“like, do you wish they were here too?”
his sister makes a face. “why would they be here? this is a family affair.”
“just go with it. for the sake of the question.”
azula rolls her eyes, but hums thoughtfully. trails off.
he tries something else. “do you think mom’s storytelling last night wouldve been better if ty lee was there doing interpretive dance?”
to his surprise, she snorts. “probably,” she replies. “and mai would probably enjoy the macabre of it all. the more drama and bloodshed, the better. you wouldn’t know mother likes all the dark ones just by looking at her.”
azula turns to him, suddenly. there’s something mischievous in her eyes that zuko immediately distrusts. “why are you asking? do you miss mai?”
his face immediately flushes. “no! i was just asking, cus, well…”
“oh, don’t feel the need to explain yourself to me, zuzu. its just the four of us in the middle of nowhere, after all-“
“i was just asking, cus you haven’t seemed… well… sad. about leaving. dad and the palace and stuff. you didn’t even say much when we had to burn our old clothes and wear this green stuff instead.”
azula pauses. she doesn’t quite scowl at him, but she furrows her eyebrows and twists her lips in this weird, thoughtful way. she turns back away from him and sighs.
“cousin lu ten didn’t carry me out of the palace like a little baby. he had to convince me why i should choose to come with. so this is me, standing on the decision i made. why should i be sad about something i chose?”
“i was asleep the whole time, but i think i would’ve said yes to mom if i was awake, too. i just wanted to know why you said yes. cus you… had more going on than i did, back home. this is… way different, for you.”
zuko really wants to believe that she didn’t just agree because she knew that dad wouldn’t punish her if they got caught. and he won’t know if shes lying to him about it either.
“i don’t think i would’ve said yes if mother was the one that came to get me instead of lu ten. even if, deep down, i wanted to come with. and then i would’ve been mad about it forever, and hated her and you and lu ten for leaving me. because mother just took you while you were mostly asleep, and now shes just lucky that you ended up being okay with it anyway.”
zuko startles at how easily she’s talking about this. maybe it’s the distance?
“but lu ten and i… are in the same boat. we’re the same, like how maybe you and mother are the same. and he told me how he felt. and i guess i figured i’d feel the same. so i decided to do the same as him, too. and i have yet to falter, just like how lu ten hasn’t faltered.“
his sister turns to him, very seriously. “father wouldn’t have done interpretive dance to mother’s stories. one day i’ll do interpretive dance to mother’s stories, and so will you and lu ten. so only people that are willing to do interpretive dance to mother’s stories are missed by me. does that make sense?”
he thinks he gets it. in this crazy situation, not feeling bad about wanting to be happy and having opinions probably would mean the same as being willing to do interpretive dance.
“i think my interpretive dance would be better than yours,” he blurts, instead of answering.
azula blinks, then narrows her eyes. “you wish.”
#i hope this makes sense. No it doesnt but we move#writing for children is really hard? Im not a writer#runaway fire fam au#alicias writing stuff
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you know i think i had gotten kinda lucky finding so many great to ok totk reviews bc i went to search yesterday (my god is youtube shit at searches now man, i want to see stuff for what i searched for not 20 things other people watched) but there truly is some utter shit there
i went through some that boiled down to angry gamer mad about game (kinda glad really bc seeing someone that actually is like that it makes me feel less like im doing the same xD) one of which saying the only reason the building is in there is bc they were trying to copy ... FORTNITE??? and another ones big point was that .. the graphics and animations are the same which ... just sounds like one of those pokémon people angry that a new game doesnt redo every single model and animation for 400 NPCs
(also one with a one step away from porn thumbnail that later i saw someone else talk about and apparently og video was about zelda being ..... too ... woke ... actually made me a little curious bc what the fuck could possibly be woke in totk?? sonia having slightly darker skin????? but theres no way im giving someone like that views lol)
and a huge portion is videos making fun of bad reviews for totk ...... which i dont think i need to explain why thats not worth anyones time lol
i find it sad how hard it is to find more diverse kind of people making totk reviews since id love to hear someone that may understand and know more than i do talk about it, new perspective and all that (also since most reviews i found good are really taking everything at face value with no one really looking at how the whole hyrule kingdom vs evil desert man is kinda ... not cool) but then again i know how youtube can be and how extreme some hardcore totk defenders are so i probably wouldnt want to get into all that either :U
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#totk#kinda#i did find a few from poc but they largely didnt really end up saying anything and were more of what the game is#or the audio was actively hurting my ears#i know not everyone can afford good audio equipment but theres a limit to what i can listen too#:(#im gonna keep looking every now and then and update the big post when i do find soemthign thats at least fine#i know it might sound like im obsessed with this but its just kinda good to hear others talk about it#and it can point out stuff i didnt realize before either#both positive and negative
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HIHIHI
Soo i had a very fun ideia
Idk if you know ride the cyclone but basically its a musical theater show where shows a group of dead teenagers who died in a rollercoaster called cyclone and they were in some kind of limbo and they have to decide between themselves whos going to revive since only one can.
Theres this mysterious participant called Jane doe in the musical, nobody knew her when she was alive, no one knew her actual name, no one knew NOTHING about Jane, not even Jane knew herself completely. She only knew very little from her life and that she desperately wanted an identity.
SO HEAR ME OUT!!!
Jane doe type!reader and the gang
Like reader remembers very little from her life but enough to know that they were lonely, and they have this very mysterious personality where they have almost no emotion in their voice and very unaware about how they talk and act, like reader can say the most disturbing thing to others without even noticing. And reader is a doll like character just like Jane, so they sometimes act in a robotic way, almost like imitating a doll.
Example on how they talk:
Someone of the gang brings up something that freaks them out and reader will go like: "you know what really freaks me out? When a lioness and a lion have children the lioness will stop making love to the lion and give attention to the children, the lion gets jealous, sometimes so jealous that he eats the children, you think that would upset the lioness? Far from it, they just go back to making love as if the children never existed. I find that ideia terrifying."
In a full emotionless robotic-like voice without even knowing that they just said the most terrifying thing ever.
But when someone asks about reader's real life, they will go full SAD MODE AND START THROWING VERY EMOTIONAL THINGS.
Saying things like: "i knew very little from my poor life, but i knew that i was just a lonely poor soul. Lost in the way of life, i ask myself everyday, why such misery?" And keeps blabbering about it.
(If you want you can listen to Jane Doe's music to understand a little more better about the voice, its called 'the ballad of Jane Doe')
Sorry for making it so long, wanted to just make things easier for you by explaining everything without you needing to burn your beautiful little brain researching! I love your vlog by the way <3
The rest of the cast x jane doe type! reader!
linking the other post under the cut, but if i had a nickel for how many times someone has made a RTC themed request for TADC i would have two, which isnt a lot but its odd thats is happened; in the same day no less!/lh/nm
i think this is my sign to get into RTC, ive only listen to 3 of the songs (talia, ballad of jane doe, and noels lament)
ballad of jane doe had a choke hold on me in September, as well as noels lament
POMNI, JAX, AND RAGATHA
CAINE:
aha! haha! i think he would shoot back a fact thats nearly just as disturbing and/or obscure as yours!
though if its something particularly macabre he might look like the gif above. just pauses, speechless, before just
"oh! thats nice reader!" i mean, he might scold you if its too much, afterall the circus is a place for all ages and he would hate that be compromised!
youre in luck, he doesnt really ask you about what your life was like before the digital world, since well, he understands that everyone pretty much forgets everything; i think this applies to everyone tbh
GANGLE:
side note its so hard to find gangle gifs
very similar to ragatha in the regard that she tries to make sure youre not wandering off during a rather hectic IHA
kind of just grins and bears through your "fun" facts, but if her comedy mask is broken shes very bad at hiding some of the shock and discomfort on her face
probably makes a little whining sound/sounds like shes about to cry if you spit out a particularly brutal one
i forgot to mention it in the previous post for ragatha but i think her and gangle would be the ones most likely to try to console you if you begin grieving your lost life and memories
ragatha probably being the more successful one whereas gangle just lets you cry and get your feelings out; as well with some complimentary awkward shoulder pats
ZOOBLE:
finds some of them interesting! i think i said somewhere that zooble would be the type to be into the dark stuff before getting trapped in the circus, or at least they do to me. so i think you two would be on par with one another in terms of infodumping
unless im confusing them with someone else, i do have a habit of getting my hcs wrong and/or mixed up (looks at my old posts for crp where i constantly switch back and forth on whether or not slenderman would know how to cook)
with that aside, i think if they truly were not in the mood to listen to you or just wanted the quiet they would let you know in the nicest way zooble can
"no one wants to hear your net facts, reader"/ref but in a tired and over it tone whereas in the last post with jax hes kinda mean about it
KINGER:
do not say a bug fact he will not shut the hell up, he will go on and on for hours about different bug stuff, perhaps you two going back and forth for god knows how long. i dont think he would be too creeped out by the more... creepy facts of the critters, oddly enough, since like, he understands it so why would he be afraid?
probably gets put off by your tone and movements, but its not enough for him to approach you to talk about bug stuff
mf yall are both wandering off during an IHA TToTT
#tadc x reader#the amazing digital circus x reader#digital circus x reader#caine x reader#gangle x reader#zooble x reader#kinger x reader
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okay so i've been listening to the dorohedoro manga soundtrack for a while now, and my morning has been a little hectic so i decided to just ramble about all the songs and what/who i associate them with, and also which songs from the anime ost they remind me of (since the anime ost is very much inspired from the manga ost)
WARNING: DIABOLICAL LEVEL OF YAPPING BELLOW, PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!!!
you can listen to the songs Here if you haven't, and i'll be going by this order, since thats the official one
Redacted, Recalcitrant, Repressed - khost:
this one in my head is literally curse/risu theme and you cannot convince me otherwise Ever. Man Inside The Mouth from the anime ost is im pretty sure inspired from this song too so it All just makes sense. also the title itself reminds me of risu and the way he is and whatnot (im so shit at explaining good lird)
also this is me just being insane but i think the voice of the guy singing KINDA fits risu more (the deeper more monstrous voice sounds like curse in my head too), like i love his actual voice too but when i read the manga i definitely dont imagine him with it
i expected something more raspy(?), meanwhile aikawa being the one with the smoother voice (his raspy voice fits too giving that Kaiman and yadda yadda)
Dont ever let me talk abt risu drhdr bro i dont stfu
Blaka Smoko - VOODOOM:
i love this song so much but kai's stupid fucking face pops up in my head when i listen to it and i DONT KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH IT!!! though yeah uh this is pretty much either his song or the cross eyes in general since the lyrics are "i sell black smoke"..though the deranged laugh really reminds me of him solely.
imagine a version of the drhdr manga where black smoke is like weed and they smoke that shit and get high i Think thats rlly funny
i dunno what else to say tbh i think me associating the song w kai is preventing me from having too many thoughts about it. However i hope when he like shows up fr (not just in flashbacks) the anime ost makes a remix of this song cuz it genuinely fits
(also i just love how this song directly mentions nikaido and kaiman, although a bit nonsensical given the context)
Dorohedoro Zombie Slushi - Candie Hank:
im so certain 1000手観音 and another song (i cant remember which one) from the anime ost sampled from this one lmfao. anyway this one just reminds me of zombie ebisu, or ebisu in general. not even like living dead day, literally just zombie ebisu. its probably the vocals tbh, someone in a youtube comment was complaining abt them and another person replied "just imagine ebisu singing it" and i cant get it out of my head now. i can totally see her sing this song, especially knowing shes canonically interested in the manga ost album (you can see her read the songs of it while checking it out in like episode 4? i think? the one where they follow doll risu around and end up in some cheap clothing store)
Eating food and fighting Wizards - Shitwife:
this one makes me very nostalgic, i like how its one of the few songs that isnt just pure nonsensical chaos. like i love those too, infact im bummed out the anime ost doesnt have more chaotic songs given the manga is literally incomprehensible sometimes, but i like how this song kinda shows the more coherent and cheerful side of the story. of course this is just kaiman theme to me, i mean the title and all. i think kaiman would really like this song, he would def listen to it. it also reminds me of that scene where him and nikaido are driving in their motorcycles, it gives the vibe of a drive in the middle of the night to me
anyway, not much to say for this one too, i just think its really nice (also the drums go crazy hard)
Enter the Hole - NAH:
lovely magic predecessor LOL. perfect for me honestly cuz lovely magic is my fav song from the anime soundtrack. This one just reminds me of hole, i dunno. the brief ethereal part reminds me of the past of the hole though, before the lake of refuse was created (i forgot what they called that shit in the official translation forgive me..lake of refuse sounds cooler either way). thats all tbh
She is a devil - Hanali:
devil nikaido theme song what can i say...i literally want this song beat for beat to play at the scene where nikaido grows her devil tail and gets devil high (if they even animate season 2 that far)
either that or when theyre selling gyoza at the department store and she goes devil high again and starts beating ass. its so perfect for those scenes
also i like to think the distorted singing at the very beginning is like what humans hear when a devil sings, i know it should be more ear bleeding giving the reaction everyone has in canon but whateva!!! also also i like to imagine nikaido was probably hearing something similar while her tail was growing and she was going crazy, i think maybe hearing the singing of devils in your head while slowly turning into one is a cool idea
LIZARD HEAD - Dr. Das:
i cant lie this ones...a little boring for me. like the beat is cool and all, but i think this is the one song i have the least to say abt. to reference another youtube comment, they said smth abt imagining kaiman fucking around in hole to this song, and yeah. i see it. i think if the anime animates that little bonus(?) comic abt how kaiman spends his day in hole, they should use smth similar to this song
Transformations - Shackleton:
ok i lied this is the one i have to say least about. i dont mind 10+ minute songs, but damn this ones even more boring to me. the pissing sounds arent helping either LOL. though i think if they had to play this song somewhere, or a variation of it, maybe it fits best at the part where kawajiri is making nikaido do the devil exam in his house or whatever...idk....
Dorohedoro - Igorrr:
ALRIGHT BACK TO YAPPING. this song is so fucking good, dare i say its my favorite of the whole ost. and im not the only one, everyone seems to love this one. its literally just TIC TOC predecessor but even better. the classical music and opera singing inserted into this absolute chaos is insane and i cant think of a song that fits shin more honestly. like this is literally shin theme. it perfectly mixes his calm and rational self with the deranged outbursts he has.
ive heard people say shin is a boring character and i genuinely cant wrap my head around it like HELLO...not only is his design just cool as fuck, but he has such interesting personality? my boy went through absolute hell and grew up from an aggressive and snarky kid to a calm and if i may say, empathetic guy. like he cares about the people around him, he was carrying three guys (one with his fucking mouth mind you) that passed out because of the rain flooding the underground basement. he refuses to kill people who are weak with magic, and generally doesnt really like going on killing sprees unless its a life or death situation (which since kid has made him go crazy, i like to think its probably cuz it increases his heartbeat and being a human+sorcerer maybe doubles the adrenaline this way). also the way he has inhumanely high pain tolerance, he can have his guts splattered on the ground and still manage to walk, to the point it even weirds EN out. like you gotta be some freak to get en concerned for you (or be kikurage lol). sorry this turned into a shin rant more than the song itself, i just cant believe so many people dont see how cool shin is. like hes not even my most favorite character but i will protect all the drhdr characters i like (which is most of them). anyway moving on
The Hole - Ghengis:
alot of ppl say they think of hole (the place) when they listen to this song, but me personally?this song screams hole the entity, and artificial devil kai. like this song FEELS like its oozing with the sludge and that feeling every sorcerer that gets in contact with hole "magic" feels. i like to think the headaches they get is equivalent to the beat of the song LOLL. like just super loud and painful pulsing headache that can leave you paralyzed on the ground. anyway, i dont have that much to say, i just want this song to play at the central department store arc, OR. when artificial devil kai is first shown
thas all
Don't Think, Just Kill - Roly Porter:
i lied again this is the one i have least to say about. sorry. literally my only thoughts are that one of the songs playing during the living dead day episode is inspired by it but i frogor which one
Kaimans Head - Dead Fader:
to compensate the fact i mightve lied once again im gonna ramble about something mildly related. so the one youtube upload i found of this song uses this one fucking risu fanart that legit makes me shit my pants. its honest to god the scariest freaking fanart ive seen of a character i like. its not like Shiver me timbers scary, its just so unsettling to me, like WHO COOKED THIS UP. WHO DREW THIS. i know hayashida would love it. she wishes she made risu this scary and not the catboy babygirl beautiful princess with a disorder she created (/J). anyway uh, this song goes pretty hard, i like it, i just dont have much to way besides that i like the beat maybe. also heres link to the youtube upload with the picture if u wanna know what im talkin abt
Radio 538 - Dow Jones Brotherhood:
because the first time i listened to the songs was on youtube, i found this song pretty much last and uh. i dunno its cool! for some reason it reminds me of the cross eyes? ive no clue why it just does. it reminds me specifically of how all of them are basically just worshipping some guy half (if not most) of them havent even seen the face of. i like how the whole thing is basically just a cult. people built statues of the boss, tattooed his face on their hands so they never forget it, And the elites...oh those poor little guys. closest to the boss and got psychologically tortured with killing thousands of sorcerers daily and left to deal with the incomprehensible shit their boss does, while slowly building suspicion and disgust towards him, but unable to do anything because of how far theyve gone into this. like can you imagine how miserable dokuga and tetsujo must feel knowing their devotion to kai led to all their friends killed. id just die bro this is so fucked... anyway, kewl song👍 i love the cross eye elites
Stay down zombies! - Ed Cox:
i honestly love how lowkey dramatic this one is. ALSO the accordion tune from el corazon is im pretty sure taken from this one! which makes two shin references yippee!!! i like how this one kinda mixes calm music with breakcore (do not erm akshually me on this one i dont care), just like how igorrr does. i dunno its just a cool song, though PERSONALLY i dont think it fits living dead day, it reminds me more of that scene where shin remembers his mothers death, and then slowly turns into a zombie. it gives off that vibe giving how the song progresses from dramatic and a bit somber, while the beat starts creeping in, accompanied by the accordion that i literally will never not associate w shin in general
ANYWAY WOW THATS ALL!!!! if even one person bothered to read all this, thank you. i love yapping about dorohedoro i love silly manga about a bunch of freaks and freak stuff and i am obsessed with hayashidas taste in music, knowing she picked all those artists cuz she likes their music makes absolute sense considering the kind of art she makes. i love you q hayashida im your biggest fan. also if you notice any grammatical errors pls remember english is not only my second language, but i also barely slept last night so that's my excuse
#dorohedoro#drhdr#ドロヘドロ#q hayashida#i dont know what to tag man#risu dorohedoro#shin dorohedoro#nikaido dorohedoro#ebisu dorohedoro#i alread forgot who else i mentioned#dorohedoro spoilers
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reason why i ship mugman and gabriel
So recently i've seen some hate about mugriel here on tumblr and honestly it made me so fucking sad. But ive decided to explain everything to y'all why i even ship this why i think this ship would be a very good one and how i see it in my head. I'm really bad at expressing my emotions so i think it will make everything clear for everyone. So when i've first read lil lucifer au my favourite character was gabe. I've studied every single post about him and i'm a very big fan of him i need to admit- then i just reached the end of casino cups and i was like: *GASP* ''OH MY GOD THEY WOULD MAKE SUCH A NICE PAIR :D'' i've found out that other people liked it too and i fell in love with this ship. But you guys know- since i knew gabriel from lil lucifer au his lil lucifer au silly personality was stuck in my head and i just kept his new ''snarky and smirky'' personality away. I know that the way i think isnt literally accurate with the canon version but if people make casino cups AUS with their own ocs why cant i have my own version of gabriel and mugs relationship in my head? (this sounds so dumb im sorry but i have no idea how to explain it) I've even wanted to make an askblog about them but It's very hard at school and i bearly have time to draw anything. Some people say that this ship literally doesnt feel right bc its ''mortal x immortal'' *cough cough* devildice? dice also was mugs' age once y'all. Immortal x mortal ships aren't bad as long as they both are adults. I wanted to show people in the fandom that this ship isnt that bad. I dont need to persuade them to ship it. I just want everyone to be respectful towards eachother. I'm not here to spread hate i just wanted to let you guys know how it looks like in my head. I'm very attached to them i love these two and nothing and no one will ever stop me from shipping and loving them. (IM SORRY THAT THERES SO MUCH OF THIS TEXT HERE I DIDNT EXPECT TO WRITE THAT MUCH AJSHDBS ALSO SORRY FOR ANY GRAMMAR MISTAKES) OH AND TO MUGRIEL HATERS I WILL KEEP DOING WHAT I LOVE YALL AINT STOPPING ME ✨
#mugman x gabriel#casino cups#only an opinion#screw ya haters#cddwtd#mugman#cuphead and his pal mugman#lil lucifer au#coffee husbands cuphead#sorry for bad grammar again hehe#love these two :]#cuphead
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hello my love! i'm finally here with the requested knowledge, sorry it took so long! ♡ i consulted my book written by the founders of mbti, and here are the results:
entps are original, individual, independent and perceptive. they are tireless at what interests them but find it hard to get other things done. they are full of ideas and operate by impulsive energy. they are very strong in initiative and creative impulse, value inspiration and have the power to inspire others. they are versatile, very clever, enthusiastic and they don't shy away from a discussion/debate! they are also very analytical and would make amazing inventors or scientists. our lovely grindset is very cool indeed 🩷
when it comes to intps: just like entps, they are analytical, independent, full of ideas and very perceptive. however, they tend to be a bit more reserved, outwardly quiet and detached. they are also curious and adaptable, persevering and are thought to be the most intellectually profound of all the types! many intps are university professors or theorists. our beloved catboy anon is a brainiac 🫶
the two types share a deep bond based on their passion for exploring ideas and engaging in discussions together! 😸 they inspire each other and engage each other intellectually. they can grow together and have a very meaningful and long-lasting connection. in a way, the two types mirror each other and can find a space for mutual understanding. 🌸
it sounds very lovely in my opinion. 😸 i hope this has been at least a little bit helpful and accurate! feel free to summon me anytime ♡ -🌻 (the real sunflower anon)
hello hello my angel!! there’s no need to apologize at all the fact that you took the time to look into it and explain it to us is so kind of you, thank you so much ㅠㅠ esp to be so thorough that u read ur official mbti book…as expected of you!! 🥰
the way u describe them is so cool entp and intp almost remind of those misunderstood geniuses you see in movies…and i definitely see a lot of those traits you mentioned in our dearest catboy and grindset! especially grindset w her cleverness LMAO im always amazed by the details she catches on to and how witty her sense of humor is 😭 and she’s always sparking fun discussions here! (remembering the astrology debate of 2022)
our beloved catboy is a braniac‼️ i think the part abt being full of ideas speaks for itself hehe their genius brain never rests and they come up w some of the most deliciously creative concepts i’ve ever seen!! everything has that special catboy anon twist to it~ and they’ll probably try to deny the intellectually profound part but i know firsthand that it’s true >:)
“the two types mirror each other and can find a space for mutual understanding” that really does sound lovely 💗 u explained it so well and concisely esp for me who doesnt know much abt mbti! thank you again my dearest wife i appreciate ur thoughtful analysis so much and im sure catboy n grindset will too <33
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https://www.tumblr.com/damnfandomproblems/735911163883290624/responding-to-4420-a-lot-of-people-me-included
Hard agree with the first reply to this ask
But my question is(directed towards anon): why do you have to change a character in order to relate to them.
Also it really seems like you are just trying to make it seem like I'm against such people. Or even the identies or traits themselves. Which shouldnt need explaining that i dont, but here we are, i dont have a fucking problem with people with any such identities, and appearances. I dont have a problem with characters having such identities and appearances.
The problem does not lie in what is changed or added, but instead WHY it is changed or added to an already established character.
What it sounds like is that you (gen) are unable to relate to anyone who is in anyway different to you, does not meet certain standards or requirements, or cant fit into a box that you are able to understand and comprehend.
Like.. its no different from cishet people going "oh i dont relate to this character cuz theyre gay or trans, or not a vsco girl" or smth like that, and then changing the character.
I get it. These kinds of people arent the most popular, and are very rare in media(though are actually becoming increasingly more common). So you think you need to change existing characters to relate to them or be seen and included.
And ... Idk how to explain how damaging that way of thinking and treating others that way is. And you cant tell me its just characters because ive seen how queer people treat cishet people and characters. Like they are somehow lesser or boring.
And i saw how some people commented on my usage of "woke" i realize now that may have made me seem like the kind of person who hates those things, but im not, and it was more towards... Like how so many people in fandom engage in performative activism. They do all this stuff for praise and to seem like a better person. Thats what i mean by woke if that makes sense.
Like honestly i think itd be way healthier to make ocs/self inserts and draw or write them with characters being supportive or just... Acting normally. Which is already a thing. The selfship community and ocxcanon community is very much alive and it doesnt even have to be ship. i guarantee more people, even people who dont relate, would enjoy people making and including more ocs in fandom.
Also "inflammatory language" (or just how i speak when annoyed i suppose) seems pretty on par for a blog dedicated to people complaining about fandom sooo, gotta remember im a real human writing this and not some machine that'll write everything in the best way possible.
Posting since this is a response to a previous ask.
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Curtwen hc time! Bc we always need some more of these. (And strap in theres a few—)
First things first, i ADORE your last hc with Curt finding out about Owen first. I love the lines of dialogue beforehand between the two of them so SO much. I like that Owen would be like "stop tickling!" rather than "stop tickling ME", makes him sound more british.
Alr here are my thoughts:
Curt obviously spends a lot of time on his hair to keep it ✨️perfect✨️, but actually so does Owen. Owen uses a lot of product to keep his longer hair silky and soft, while Curt uses product specifically for looks. SO Owen loves that when theyre making out his hair ends up all up in Curt's face. Curts squinting and squirming and like "Owehehen- use a hair tie!" and Owens like "I literally just washed my hair, I'm not going to ruin it now-" so Curt has to suffer through giggles.
I will always and forever adore Barb being unwillingly involved in the boys' lil games, SO— Curt keeps asking and asking Barb to buildnhim somrthing that'll help him get revenge on Owen, but he never specifies what he wants the invention to do. So Barb's like "Mega, if you cant tell me what you want the invention to DO, i cant make one for you!!" and Curt tries to explain it in the vaguest way possible so that 1) she doesnt think he only wants it for himself and 2) itll still do what he wants it to do. And wventually when she connects the dots she teases the hell outta him. Curt makes excuses about the 'bad guys' bring thrown offguard or itd be helpful in interrogations, but Barb says "no one would ever use tickling in an interrogation, Mega" and Curt doesnt have the willpower or pride to correct her.
Owen has ticklish arms. There i said it. He wore a tak top while he and Curt were cuddling, and Curt just traced lines up and down the soft skin of his inner/outer arm. He tries SO FREAKING HARD not to tense his muscles because he knows as soon as he does Curt will notice. So hes just like "Curt could you cut it out? You're nails are itching me." and tries to move out of the way. But Curt senses somethings up and prods him (figuratively and literally) about it until he spills. Owen's laughter from soft tickles is so much different from when he's "getting wreckt". Its very breathy and soft, and he covers his face with the back of his hand to hide himself, but doesnt actively lean away from the feeling. Curt gets heart-eyes and immediately wants to hear more. Owen's throwing insults at him to stop, but he just lays there giggling into the side of the couch.
Finally, LETS👏TALK👏ABOUT👏CURT'S👏TICKLISH👏EARS👏. Our canon. Our bread and butter. Curt originally hates wearing earpieces because Barb hadn't perfected the technology yet and it always buzzed. He got yelled at because one time on a very important mission in Budapest Curt was losing his gd mind with how tingly his ear was feeling and he had to take it off. When Barb couldn't get ahold of him, she knew she'd give him an earfull later. Curt also has issues with Owen. Now, Owen loves Curt's ears. He thinks theyre a cute shape and he loves that theyre so sensitive. Owen adores tracing them and pecking them. Depending on the day, Curt wil either get major goosebumps from Owen, or lose his shiy immediately as he did in the famous interrogation scene. Owen always keeps an ostrich feather in his coat pocket. He rarely uses it, but he likes that Curt knows its always there. Its like its watching him 👀
THAT is all i have, i know it is alot but i am obsessed w these two and i just aAA-
AAAAAAAAA THESE ARE SO FUCKING CUTE I’M DYING I NEED CPR STAT!!! These two are gonna kill me, they’re such fucking dorks I love them I love them I love them! & I love that it makes him sound more British, I didn’t even think of that but now that you pointed it out I can’t stop seeing it!
I absolutely LOVE the difference in hair care between the 2 because they both obsess over their hair in different ways. Curt will style & gel his hair before he even thinks about stepping out the door because he’s always gotta look his best. Meanwhile Owen takes fucking forever after his shower brushing it & putting products in it to help it grow, heal split ends, make it soft, literally the works. Curt’s always like what the hell takes you so long??? & Owen’s just like “you have your hair routine, I have mine”
But it makes his hair so silky smooth & soft & it’s the perfect length to brush against Curt’s neck & ears when they cuddle or make out & it makes him so blushy & giggly because wtf hair shouldn’t tickle! But Owen absolutely loves the fact that he doesn’t even have to use his hands to get him laughing
On a related note, his stubble is the bane of Curt’s existence, it should be illegal
& omg Barb is constantly flipping between extremely amused & very annoyed, these boys never give her a fucking break! She’s so patient with Curt trying to find out what the fuck he actually wants from her, but he won’t stop beating around the bush & is being vague af. So she’s just like “damn if you can’t even say it you can’t be trusted with it” & then he tries to make more of an effort to actually describe what it is he’s looking for & she just gets more amused by the second. & when she says no one would use that in an interrogation he like mumbles under his breath something like “well Owen did” or “must be an MI6 thing” & he’s just being classic sassy Curt but she hears what he said & is like wait a fucking second. “Curt you can’t be serious. Agent Carvour is a professional” & he’s getting flustered & huffy & just goes “yeah, a professional pain in my ass. So can you make it or what?” She has it ready for him by lunch the next day & demands a “full report” on the device’s performance. She even had a sticky note with it that just says “give him hell ;)”
FMVRMAGELW I AM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH RN! TICKLISH ARMS ARE SO UNDERRATED! Sorry for yelling but this really has me in a chokehold. Owen is pretty averagely ticklish in all the normal spots, but I like to imagine he’s a lot more sensitive in harder to reach or more unconventional spots like his arms. Light touches here drive him up the fucking wall ok, he cannot take it whatsoever. Immediately breaks down in a fit of giggles. He tries to hold out, but breathy snickers always force their way out as he squirms around trying to suppress his wide dopey ass grin. Curt thinks it’s the cutest fucking thing he’s ever seen in his life, & he’s right. His forearms are pretty bad & he can’t help but twitch away with a huff of laughter when Curt brushes over the skin there. But his biceps? That’s a good way to kill him. Light tickles there will have him in shrill hysterics & squeezing the muscle will draw out full on belly laughs. Owen didn’t even know he was ticklish there until Curt, & so he was really trying to hide the spot from the both of them. Because what a stupid fucking spot to be ticklish, he did not need to know how sensitive that spot was & he really didn’t need Curt to find out either. But he can’t lie to him, so they went in a little journey of discovery together
Bro we’re so damn lucky that we got canon ticklish!Curt I literally couldn’t believe it! & on his ears no less, like that is legit one of my favorite spots! It’s just so sweet & cute & the way people giggle & scrunch their neck for protection is so kxganssmabfi & that’s his literal introduction to the show!!! Like he legit goes from suave spy who never cracks under pressure to cutest giggly dork in the world in seconds flat! Like wtf they can’t do that to me! But I fucking LOVE how he can’t handle the ear piece because he’s too sensitive there & he just straight up ditches it! & when they ask him about it he’s all dodgy & embarrassed & not giving a straight answer until Cynthia threatens not to pay him for the assignment if he can’t answer her & he just blurts it out, blushing so much & Cynthia just scoffs like “Jesus Mega, that’s it? Why didn’t you just say so, no need to make such a big fucking deal out of it” & he’s so shocked because he honestly expected a lecture about how a spy shouldn’t be ticklish, but she was cool with it??? & she can kinda sense what he’s thinking so she says “look, we’re all human, I get it. I’ll get Barb to make some adjustments” & he thinks that’s the end of it but now she just uses it to tease the shit out of him when he’s least expecting it
His ears are Owen’s absolute favorite spot because Curt is soooo cute & giggly when he tickles him there & it’s one of his worst spots, & he’s a bit of a masochist & likes to bully his boyfriend. & I’m fucking dying thinking about him carrying around that feather all the time “just in case” like just imagine the first time Curt stumbles upon it! Maybe he’s looking for something in his pocket or grabbing his jacket for him & he just freezes & turns completely red. & he pulls it out & looks at Owen like “what the fuck is this???” & Owen looks up & smirks like “well you should know what that is” all smug & shit & he fucking has the audacity to wink at him. He knows exactly what he’s doing, & Curt really can’t handle it
Also worth noting: this is one of the top pics that comes up when you google Owen Carvour
I love them so very much, if you couldn’t tell
#asks#fruitee-goose#saf headcanons#spies are forever headcanons#curtwen#owen carvour#curt mega#special agent curt mega#spies are forever#saf#ticklish!curt#ticklish!owen
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come on look at this drawing. this is exactly what being in aba feels like. anyway...
bien and sar as a portrayal of a "troubled teen" with autism/adhd/aspd and an aba therapist: a breadavota analysis
finally blogging about the ending of intermission 1 of @breadavota
gui on the bbs has already noticed most of the stuff from the new update so tbh not much else left to say. thank u once again for the loyal breadposting
not related but i just noticed the bbs has the homestuck colors naur
instead of analyzing every part of the new update im just going to focus on the depiction of sar as being a (pseudo) aba therapist, along with my "bien is so autismcoded" hc
bien as an autistic character (+ adhd and conduct disorder/oppositional defiant disorder/aspd)
first of all altho afaik none of the characters are written intentionally to be autistic and adhd but both sc and bien have traits of it, altho i will just focus on bien here who i feel is autistic, adhd and has cd/odd (which could be aspd now bcuz hes already an adult). i think the aspd hc has more credence bcuz the author has aspd
seen as "stupid" by others, especially because he has issues with working memory and attention, altho i dont think hes particularly "stupid" but more that he has trouble w/ abstract thinking and memories, he takes things literally (like when he messes w/ sars pens after being told not to touch only his books)
inexpressive facial expressions, he usually has a neutral face no matter the situation
seems to get bored easily and needs to do extreme things to stimulate himself, particularly his violent tendencies towards animals
special interests/hyperfixations. he doesnt show an interest in anything except things related to violence (murder, weapons, wars) or sc, and to a lesser extent playing the piano
on top of that some level of social inappropriate behavior, altho its harder to say w/ so few interactions between him and other characters. the one chapter where he talks to the other soldiers he wasnt very friendly towards them, and based on how he talks to ava (hard to tell if he talks like this to everyone tho) he has the tendency to bring up his relationship to sc even in situations where its not appropriate or relevant
"awkwardness" aside he has a disregard for other ppl as a whole and seems unable to emphatize with hurting others
struggles with "basic" tasks and is anxious abt leaving sc and having to live on his own
wants to have "explanations" for everything he does before doing it, seen in how he is frustrated with avas vagueness
some sensory sensitivies since he looks to be bothered by "loud noises", altho its a bit vague bcuz the demons seem to have a synthesia like (?) way of perceiving the world. bon at least has been implied to lash out from these sensitivities which 2 me is similar to meltdowns, and sar shows concern that the brightness outside might bother bien
anyway moving on to sar, this is probably noticed by some ppl from the older updates already but the premack principle (explaining more later) is what made it noticed for me, that sar acts similar to an aba therapist, or at least uses some of the same principles in aba to manipulate bien
focus on eye contact
first of all i agree w/ gui the decision to write only in sars pov and to never directly show what biens dialogue at all is great! i think it highlights that feeling of bien not being allowed his autonomy and makes it feel rly more like some therapy session where ur not allowed to make ur own decisions, it also forces us to rely on sars narration of events even tho hes not a trustworthy person
bcuz we cant see bien we also dont know if anything in the place is distracting or bothering him. the last updates established he finds the way the house "sounds" to be rly disturbing (again poiting to sensory sensitivity), and the way the story focuses not on why he might not be looking at sar and instead only looks at his "problem behavior" reminds me of my own experiences with aba before
sar commands eye contact from bien with the simple repetition of the phrase "look at me". this very first one stands out because of how its inserted right in the middle of his dialogue, showing sars intention to make sure bien "focuses" on what hes currently saying, like he needs bien to be looking at him to "prove" he is listening. reading it in real time the first "look at me" is almost unnoticable until the next ones
i noticed the first one is also early on in the update, and he doesnt say it again until later on where all the "look at mes" are closer together. this happens when bien reads the research paper with the "blocks". i think it implies bien is more uncomfortable or stressed out from this activity and being overwhelmed by it, he looks away more frequently, its a subtle detail that i cant help but noticed!
premack principle/first, then
this is what stood out to me the most, sar pretends to "offer" autonomy to bien sometimes by letting him decide some minor things like what to eat for the break, or to let him make minor adjustments to the overall "daily schedule" but i noticed the entire "lesson" is decided by sar, who makes bien do a "harder" task first before moving on to something bien might want to do (eat cake/listen to the piano) or to "something easier"
some standing out parts:
reading this, especially "of course, i believe you can do it" its clear that bien doesnt necessarily want to move to the "easier" tasks and he wants to keep trying the current task even if hes not doing "well". the desire to move to "something easier" is always something sar decides because of his estimation of biens incompetence, and not out of biens own unwillingness to keep trying.
speaking of the schedule, its interesting, sar doesnt simply say he will make time in biens daily schedule to let him play the piano, he says bien will be allowed to have piano lessons, meaning hes still planning to use even biens hobbies/interests as a opportunity to "educate" him or as "reinforcerment" for him to do "good" behaviors first. i can imagine in the future biens desire to play the piano is going to be used against him, so that hes only allowed to do it if he "studies" first
reinforcements and "safe foods"
in the premack principle/"token economy" a reward is used to motivate the "good behavior" and here we see sar using food as that reinforcement. also sar doesnt punish bien here (also hello bien and his super literal thinking, autistic king), he tells bien to keep reading while sar cleans up.
the idea of not using punishment to be more "humane" is indeed a part of modern aba (traditional aba utilized punishments before this was dropped) but that doesnt account for all the other issues with aba, and again with the lack of autonomy he assumes bien "messing with the pens" is an "accident" (instead of explaining more literally not to touch the pens - its possible bien did it on purpose but is unaware why this is a "big deal" and wouldnt understand why sar is pointing it out to begin with), and he also doesnt ask bien if he wants to help clean up, or why he touched the pens to begin with.
for all we know bien got bored and started stimming with the pens (esp bcuz chewing or clicking pens is a common stim, we dont know what sar means with "messed with" here), sar could of at least asked first why bien did that anyway and like?? let him borrow a pen??? lmao???
anyway, back to the cake, in a previous updates its shown bien likes cake and i think this establishes cake as a sort of "safe food" for bien
this is something gui pointed out that i didnt notice at first, but notably bien asks for just a chocolate cake, and sar gives him a devils food cake that has vanilla in it. its something so "small" that bien will look bad if he complains abt it, but sar ignoring a very specific request bien had is a common autistic experience when it comes to safe foods and being told just to be "picky eater"
assumptions of biens incompetence/struggles
its no secret bien seems to struggle with "intelligent" matters but notably nobody ever stops to ask what he stuggles with, its always assumed for him. while ava is more obviously dismissive, sar also does the exact same thing and just sounds "nicer" about it
lack of proper explanations
despite being an expository character sar notably doesnt explain things in a way that would be useful to bien. my personal observation of bien and why i dont think hes "stupid" (not in the way the others sy he is) is that he asks a lot of logical questions! whenever ava tells him a story abt the history of angels/marginals, or asks him to do a new task, bien makes a lot of sensible observations ("if angels marginals and demons are the immortals and youre not an angel then what are you?")
the things he questions the most are information that comes out of nowhere (the recursive panopticon, sars first appearance, the margibird that came out of his radio etc), and other people treat him like an idiot for just not automatically knowing these "obvious" things that would make sense for him to know!
honestly viewing bien in this lens it suddenly makes alot more sense why the story jumps around so much and introduces "weird" lore seemingly at random, i think it rly helps simulate the feeling of confusion bien (and also bread) are meant to have
and of course where would we be w/o sars insistence that bien always say thank you even tho he never explains what bien should even be thanking him for.
general infantilization
as a whole sars tone is very infantilizing w/ how he always gives reassurances and goes "do you understand?" "___, okay?"
also he decides to give bien storybooks (probably for kids) and plushies to help with sleeping lmao??? we dont even know yet if hes going to have sleeping problems in anselir.
ofc nothing is inherently wrong with needing things considered "childish" with accomodations, lots of autistic people benefit from simpler talking to them or from sensory aids and similar in their daily life. but again its bad here because bien gives no indication these are the specific accomodations he even needs, sar simply assumes them for him. i think especially knowing bien seems insecure over his incompetence and his ability to "grow up" and be an independent adult living away from his father, it makes treating him like a dependent child even worse in that contexts.
disrespect for personal boundaries/touching
this is definitely the creepiest part and again the lack of biens side of things makes it vague what sar is doing
the way its immersed in the dialogue again is a good choice, just shows sar talking and acting "normally" even when things are decidedly not normal
the comment abt the hair makes it obvious that sar is touching bien, altho to what extent the "touching" goes is obviously deliberately vague. honestly it almost looks like sa :") regardless the pressure to do "affectionate" gestures is so relatable, especially as an autistic kid where adults always pressure you to hug them or show some other form of physical affection, and the way ppl touching u w/o permission is so common.
(i did ask the author abt this, to which they said its supposed to be vague so its not sexual but its also not not sexual. but that they personally wrote it to be them sitting next to each other with sar just condescendingly petting him on the head at some point like he did the last updates, and the "try not to squirm" comment was abt sitting properly, but that this was just how they imagined it and isnt "canon" bcuz its supposed to be open-ended)
bonus:
a subtle thing i almost dont noticed but the last "what blocks" is slightly bigger as if to show a slight raise in voice, rly feels like sitting in a suffocating room with this guy. ily sar but u suck
that is the end of my breadposting thank u and goodbye. ^_^
#breadavota#long post#tagging ooo#actuallyautistic#actually autistic#aspd#antisocial personality disorder#conduct disorder#oppositional defiant disorder#autism#adhd#comic review#aba#applied behavior analysis#applied behavioral analysis#aba therapy#aba tw
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ive got like. two things in drafts that i need to finish but i heard a song and now ive got to write a fic
— Marry You
summary : when you and ace are messing around, ace shocks you with his sudden declaration of love
cw : none!! just fluff - gn!reader
authors note : bruno mars' songs got me doin a jig
lying on your back in ramshackle dorm, you and ace were laughing your asses off tears in your eyes from how hard you were laughing.
you rubbed your eyes, giggling, "then- then what did you say?" you asked between laughs.
"you really wanna know?" ace chuckled and you nodded frantically. for context, ace had showed up at ramshackle with riddles infamous collar, asking if he could stay over. now, he was explaining exactly why he was collared.
"i said- skill issue. to riddles traffic light face. actually, i think his face beats the brightness of a traffic light," ace said and you wheezed, holding youre stomach in pain.
"so- so thats why youre here now?!" you laughed and ace nodded with laughter. you threw your head back.
ace stared at you laughing, his own laughter slowly going down as he admired you. your smile, how your face was tinted red from continuous laughing, the wrinkles around your eyes.
when you finally calmed down, you wiped your eyes, silence fallen over you both. it was a comfortable silence, not the awkward silence where youve ran out of things to say, but the silence where you feel safe, loved.
finally, ace spoke quietly, "..[name]?"
"yeah?" you replied, staring up at the cieling. in the corner of your eye, you could see ace doing the same.
"marry me."
you shot up, your eyes blown wide as you bore holes into his face, "you what."
he looked over at you, sitting up as well, "marry me?" he said, his voice rising near the end in an almost questioning way.
you hoped you were mishearing, "r..repeat one more time..?" you spoke only just above a whisper.
ace spoke at the same tone as you, "i said that i want.." staring off in front of him, he took a breath, "i want you to marry me."
your face flushed red, "ace, i- i cant, we cant- we're only sixteen, we- we're still in school, itd be stupid to marry you now-"
"then after school." he spoke softly, gazing down at the ground, drawing shapes on his trousers, "after school is over and done with and we can focus more on our lives, i want to marry you." he stopped his actions for a moment. the silence fell over you both again.
with a groan, he stood up, "nevermind, it- yeah, no it doesnt matter- im gonna go pee."
"wait, ace! wait-" you scrambled to your feet, grabbing his wrist and turning him to face you, "listen, please i- it sounds too soon for me but- id love to..have a future with you." you could feel your face heating up.
ace stared you down, "..really?"
"..yeah."
"say it again."
"i want to have a future with you."
"again."
"ace dont make me do that." you glared and he pouted
"you did it to me!" "cause you were talking quietly!" "you were as well!" "shut up ace!"
he laughed, looking you in the eyes, "but really? do you mean it?"
"yes ace i..i love you." you said with a sigh. he grinned, hugging you tightly as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, mumbling something along the lines of, 'great seven, finally.'
authors note : SCREAMING AAAA IM IN LOVE WITH MY OWN FANFIC YOO 😭😭
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If it's not too late for the ask meme, how about wrong hordak?
Thanks for the ask^^
First impression: One of the things I anticipated the most before s5 dropped was the clones. So I was veeery excited to meet Wrong Hordak, I was literally obsessed with him. The funniest cutest fucked up little guy who, it seemed, was made just for me. (Partially because one of my early clone OCs was just like Wrongie personality-vise lol) I was still sad that the other clones didnt get much focus, but at least i had WH and Hordak
Impression now: Wrong Hordak is still my baby and I'll keep justifying his existence till my last breath, but now I see many problems with his arc and his place in the story. The way his trauma was treated is simply disgusting, and the fact that WH is never taken seriously by no one, even the writers, even when he's distressed and scared, even when he is forced to watch his entire world burn makes my blood boil. He didnt even get a proper name by the end...
Yes, it could've worked better if it was Hordak instead of WH, I too wanted brainwashed Hordak to join the rebellion. And yes, Wrongie wasnt even that useful, mainly being nothing but a joke character. He also failed as an attemt to help humanize the clones, so the rest of his brothers stayed mindless drones, not getting a hint of sympathy from the narrative nor most of the viewers
Anyway, I'm stealing Wrong Hordak from DreamWorks, my character now
Favorite moment: "Brothers! There's nothing to see heeere! :D" and "We put amniotic fluid in there :| No, that was a joke :>"
Also every scene where he copies someone's expressions and movements
Idea for a story: ooh I've been sitting on this one for so long. Call it an au or a rewrite, but the idea is:
Wrongie gets disconnected way, way earlier, after trying to stop Catra and Glimmer from escaping. The first to find him was Hordak, and after he notices something familiar about his brother's pain, he chooses to stay with him and even comfort him. While Prime and the clones are busy with other mess, he decides not to tell anyone about WH's problem. He can't explain why he wants to keep his brother out of the hivemind and possibly get himself into trouble, but he is quick to justify his decision (oh Prime is too busy right now, oh he just doesnt want to distract him, its not that important etc)
And thus begin the brothers' shenanigans, where Hordak tries to watch over confused Wrongie, while he's struggling to adapt and act normal. During the time they spent together Wrongie sees more of "the real Horde" and slowly starts to question Prime, and Hordak shows his protective side and remembers more and more of his old life and his old self
In this story it is Hordak who gets taken with the rebellion, but only after a moment of resistance, because 1) he didnt fully remember Entrapta yet and saw the others as the enemy 2) he was worried about Wrong Hordak and tried to take his brother with him.
Now WH is all by himself on the Velvet Glove and still has to keep a low profile. Eventually he gets closer with other clones and helps them see the truth as well, starting a small rebellion of his own. So during the final battle the etherian rebellion is going to have a trusted ally on "the other side", who can help with distractions and hacking Prime's systems. And ofc, seeing his brother safe and sound and freed will boost Hordak's morale even more before his inevitable last meetup with Horde Prime
Unpopular opinion: I think it won't be hard for WH and Hordak to become close friends. Hordak fell in love with this ball of energy called Entrapta and got attached to Imp who likes to mess with him, I'm sure he won't find Wrong Hordak too cheerful or too annoying (oh he will be annoyed, no doubt, but is he going to see his brother as a nuisance because of it? Nah-uh) Sure, WH might make Hordak feel insecure at first, cause Wrongie is more "likeable" and has no defects, but not to the point of barely tolerating or avoding him
And they have a lot in common? Same background, similar traumas, and they both still have a lot to learn about the real world, they can learn and grow together. Plus, I'm sure Wrongie is going to freaking adore Hordak and see him as his hero and role model, and there's no way Hordak is going to stay cold and distant for long after being showered with so much love
So yeah, they're besties your honor (even if only in my heart u-u)
Favorite relationship: friendship with Entrapta and also possible future friendship with Hordak and Imp. My guy was born to be the funny uncle
Favorite headcanon: I really enjoy the idea of him being rebellious even before the events of the show. The comment under that one storyboard says that Wrongie's pod was used for reconditioning, so something must have happened for him to get in there. He must have known too much, or was too vocal and disobedient, or just different and Prime didnt like that. Perhaps when WH was yelling "Brothers, HP lied to us, he's a false ruler!" it was him remembering all those things he was trying to say to his brothers before he got silenced by Prime. Also maybe he was the only clone who knew about Krytis, so when the rebellion took Wrongie it might have got Prime stressing a lil bit, because, sure, he did send him for reconditioning, but what if that clone still remembers something he shouldnt know?
#ask memes#ramblings#spop#wrong hordak#hordak#horde clones#shera#spacebats#the galactic horde#spop meta#spop au#cirus doodles things#sketch#my art#edge lorde
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laying and bed kicking my feet dreamily cause i love my boyfriend and im gonna infodump about how much i love him
weve been dating nonstop for 8.5 years. he was my first partner ever. he asked me out via tumblr fan mail back when that was still a thing. i genuinely sometimes question if id have ever realized i was trans if i didnt have him in my life. he likes idol rhythm games and kidcore aesthetics and one piece and queer theory and midwest emo music and theatre and poetry and mixed media art and plushies and his moustache that he worked so hard to grow out and his weird haircuts that im always hesitant about but they always grow on me cause i love him and they make him happy. ive recently done a lot of introspection since we started doing a lot of ENM/polyamory stuff and i think ive realized that im honestly just a lesbian with how intensely im attracted to other trans girls but that doesnt matter in regards to my boyfriend because he was, is, and always will be such an important part of my life and makes me so happy that i can't imagine my life without him in it. his body feels so comfortable and familiar pressed up against mine in bed and even if his snoring is really loud i never go sleep in the living room. i am attracted to him in a way that transcends romance and sexuality. he calls me a dyke and a faggot and a tranny in exactly the right way to genuinely make me laugh. we have a cat together. he gave himself a christian name specifically to piss off his reddit atheist dad. i let him complain to me about his shitty coworker and his family and whatever internet discourse is bouncing around his head. his fursona's a cat. his middle name is named after a grateful dead song. he has so many keychains and charms on his car keys that you could beat someone to death with them. he likes littlebigplanet and pokemon mystery dungeon and i think he's just about the only person in the entire world who could explain the onceler fandom in a way that actually makes it sound cool. he is my prince and i am his knightess. his stepdad is japanese so he likes japanese food a lot. his favorite color is yellow.
i love him so so so so so much.
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