they get to dance. or. whatevers up with them. this was already sketched like right after finishing the last art wirh the two of them so i had to finish it. i think the dynamic idea is interestinf actuallt irs a shame that like. nothing fuckinf exists but alas i have tje power to create and boy did i do that. erm. hey guys. more infinadow before i fixate on another pairing i suppose

Hi I understand if you don't reply, but I was wondering if you have any advice to beginners who want to start making their ocs a reality? (Like in the sense of having Charecters that have been in your thoughts for a while, but it's hard to encapsulate them into physical form?) As I have some that id like to make either into a game or comic but I'm a little stuck..

Also I'm curious if there will be any other content with the best boy himself rire?? : 0

Hullo! Ah, (physically) designing characters, how fun ❤️ - there is part of a reason why I only have a handful of them lol XD; ANYWAY here are three things that help me, so hopefully they can help you as well :)

(I'll use Demon!Rire as an example as unless you are an old guard of mine, he will probably be the most recognisable of my characs.)

--------------

❓What do you know about them?

First of all since you already have your character in mind, congratulations you are most of the way there already! It's helpful to know the general vibe of them. And I don't mean the super detailed things that may arise from like..."Get to know your OC" quizzes - we are more looking for the core feeling of a character here. If you dumped this character into different AUs what things are going to stay the same/similar? Some things you should consider are:

What is their personality like? Why do they do the things they do?

Do I already have any physical traits for them in mind? Hair/eye/skin colour? Body type? Age? Name??

📝 Write a simple paragraph or some dot points about your character with these things in mind.

---EXAMPLE---

Sophisticated and charming, Rire outputs an aura of power and elegance. His pleasing physical appearance and gentlemanly demeanour usually enchants or commands people. Realistically, he is extremely manipulative and sadistic, and finds entertainment in the reactions of others.

---/EXAMPLE---

🤔 Make informed choices

Ok cool, you know something about your charac! Now build upon what you know to make them real - it is important here to try and match your design choices with the characterisation and "why"s of the character, and less with what you personally think will be cool/cute/whatever. What I mean by this is just pretend they are a person you are describing to a forensic sketch artist - you are giving "facts" as to what you think they look like not making stuff up (eg you would NOT be like "oh yeh she was totally a punk rocker however i'm going to say she wore a long flowing gown cos I think she'd look prettier in it?"*)

*Note that designing a character with opposites in mind can work out if you can at least answer the cursory "why" of it being a part of the character design. For eg maybe the punk rocker is secretly the alter ego of a socialite - flowing gowns and high fashion by day, grunge by night. Like Batman.

📝 Feel free to use dress up doll games and image searches for particular types of clothes/hairstyles/etc if you need inspiration. Thumbnail a bunch of different designs and see what works.

---EXAMPLE---

In my prev example paragraph I highlighted a few things in red. Here I'll break down how they can help craft a physical appearance:

Sophisticated and charming / elegance - to me, these combined make me think of ballrooms and black tie functions and nice suits. A well tailored outfit and someone who knows how to wear them.

Gentlemanly demeanour (well to some degree lol) - since I already know he's hundreds of years old (973 to be exact) I decided that an aristocratic Victorian-esque aesthetic would suit him. Somewhere in between a modern look and something with a bit more fantasy steampunk flair. He smiles quite genially until he's doing it with all his teeth.

Aura of power - he's got to be a bit of an imposing character so he's quite tall (or at least taller than all of my other characs) and carries himself confidently. Hooray for the ability to loom. Dark colours for this character, to cut an impressive figure.

Pleasing physical appearance - kinda stereotypical type of good looks that aesthetically most people would be like "yeh he's pretty". Athletic build - muscular but not bulky, broad shoulders, tapered waist etc etc.

Extremely manipulative - first of all, he looks rather human, for a demon - his entire species is designed very particularly like that. Then there's the sunglasses. The "why" [does he wear them] is they function to hide his eyes (one of the main parts of him that give away his demon-ness), but also as a bit of a red flag to the audience that something isn't quite right with him. I mean, look past his charm and he wears them all the time. The black and yellow colour scheme also ties in as warning colours ⚠️

Put them all together and this was one of my first sketches of Demon!Rire.

*Note that I already more or less knew how he looked other than his outfit; you will probably have a lot more sketch duds as you figure out what your character looks like.

---/EXAMPLE---

🔐 Don't lock yourself in

Despite the fact I've just said "pretend your character is a person", remember you're still their creator so obviously you have final say over them. Sometimes you'll find that they grow and change from what you initially thought of them (or you just evolve in how you draw them). Don't be afraid to make the tweaks and changes that enhance these - whether they be physical or core characteristics - and you'll get closer to the true character you always had in mind.

---EXAMPLE--

I now draw Rire with a more pronounced V-shape, longer, wavier hair, and somehow he ended up with way more pronounced eyelashes than I usually draw on my male characs. Which works out quite well considering how I tend to draw his eyes. Anyway the point of this is that these things developed over time as I kept drawing him.

---/EXAMPLE---

🍀 Try it out with your own characs! Have fun and don't force yourself to try and get it "right" on the first go.

apparently it's the 15th anniversary of zoro's sacrifice in thriller bark (not sure if manga or anime though) so yknow. time for more zolu of course

one of the many things about zoro and luffy is that despite how their approach to certain situations might differ at times, they're still pretty similar at their core, sometimes to a comical degree (see: their definition of what a hero is back in fish man island arc). and this understanding of how the other works is what leads to moments like jaya,

this little one in water 7/enies lobby,

and follows consistently all the way to wano arc.

and I was thinking the other day about how their childhoods too kinda mirror or parallel each other's in a way that emphasizes (to me, at least) how special zoro's particular protectiveness toward luffy is, and why luffy relying on zoro that way is just as special.

the specifics of their childhood stories are different but both luffy and zoro have a turning point of sorts that's marked with the grief and loss of sabo and kuina, respectively, which leads them to say these:

(I cropped the panels, but luffy's also crying here)

it's important to note zoro and luffy had dreams/aspirations before this, to become the greatest swordsman and luffy's secret thing that we've yet to learn about (that ace, sabo and the crew now know). however, losing kuina and sabo is what prompts them to, on top of that, strive to become stronger for other people's sake. for zoro, it's his way to honor his friend and fulfill their shared dream. for luffy, it's to avoid losing the people he loves.

throughout the story, zoro and luffy end up expressing similar frustration and sentiments due to this. there's zoro innerly chiding himself for being too weak as he trains in the aftermath of arcs like little garden, alabasta and thriller bark, where the crew get stuck in situations in which zoro isn't able to help as he wishes he could (the wax cake, the sea prism stone cell, kuma). there's luffy swearing he won't lose a single member of his crew even if it kills him (the davy back fight) and reproaching himself for not being able to save any of the straw hats in sabaody, with the worst of it right after losing ace in marineford.

(and man do I have thoughts about bon turning into zoro, out of all the straw hats, back in impel down.)

anyway. as to why all of this is meaningful - when zoro agrees to join luffy, he mentions that his goal to become the greatest swordsman is all he has. yet as the straw hats go from journey to journey, and with a certain emphasis in luffy, you can see how zoro's view slowly shifts. he's now driving himself to become strong to protect them as well, to the point he's willing to set aside his ambition and offer his own head in exchange for luffy's, if it means he can ensure luffy's life and safety. that's huge. as mihawk inwardly points out, zoro has something, someone he values even more than his ambitions and pride. and it's through his adventures with luffy and the crew that he becomes closer to achieving that initial dream of his.

whenever people wonder why zoro's as loyal as he is to luffy, aside from all the reasons why luffy as a character has earned that loyalty through his actions, I also remember that one line koushiro said to zoro in a flashback: "the pinnacle of swordsmanship is the power to protect what one wishes to protect and cut what one wishes to cut. a blade that injures all that it touches isn't really a sword." while sure, it works in the context of later power ups like haki, imo it perfectly captures zoro's character growth too and what luffy's given him. the current zoro isn't lost or directionless with only one purpose in mind or to live for, bounty hunting as a means to survive. he has a home to return to, people to cherish, to protect and keep getting stronger for, people who nurture him in turn. kuina's death is something zoro couldn't have prevented, and losing people in accidents like those is something that could happen again, but still within the limits of what's preventable - zoro can protect his friends now.

as for luffy... zoro kinda steals the spotlight when it comes to grand gestures of loyalty/devotion and being the MC of the story means luffy fights for different people (both crew and non crew), carrying their wishes and hopes as if they were his own. he gets help and learns from others as well and all members of the crew are important for luffy to achieve his dream one way or the other, but the way he relies on zoro specifically is so subtly meaningful to me. we don't get as much insight on luffy's inner thoughts, still, we do have context.

for someone like luffy, who is at his innermost genuinely terrified of being alone and losing the people he loves, the fact that he trusts zoro to protect and keep everyone safe (even luffy himself) is so good. as shown above, luffy vowed to become strong in the first place to ensure he'd never go through loss like sabo's again and this vow is all the more renewed after ace's death. luffy has to be strong for everyone but... the fact that he can trust zoro to follow his lead even when others might not understand his reasons to do x or y, that he's so unwavering in his faith that zoro will protect the others when luffy can't, entrusting the people he cares about to zoro, whom luffy also cherishes - it's all pretty special. everyone in the crew has their strengths and zoro may not be the only fighter, but all of them, including sanji, fall under his protection whenever it's needed.

it's not only about raw strength though. zoro's also there to set luffy straight and remind him of what's important when the circumstances arise, like in water 7 or punk hazard. and even when they don't necessarily agree, like wrt vivi's situation after the reverie in marijoa, luffy knows when zoro's right and acquiesces (albeit grumbling a little) because, once again, he's also aware that zoro wouldn't just risk everyone's safety. luffy listens to him. and their reunion in wano too, luffy's sheer happiness at the sight of him again, is a very clear example of how much luffy adores zoro even beyond all that.

although luffy isn't aware of what happened in thriller bark (that we know of), zoro's actions are proof of why luffy trusts, has faith in, and relies on zoro as much as he does and why it's so important for luffy to have him by his side, considering how afraid he is of being unable to keep his loved ones safe. this is more on a speculative note, but I can imagine how comforting that must be for luffy - to not shoulder that on his own.

happy anniversary!

If you will forgive my somewhat clunky metaphor, being a Jew on the Left often feels like I'm in abusive relationship.

I'm most certainly not going to go to the Right not only because of my morals, ethics, and values, but because whether it be overt or covert their end goal is the death and destruction of me, my people, our culture, and everything we hold believe in. It is like the Right is someone who just all red flags and your gut tells you if enter into a relationship with them the only way it ends is with them killing you. But the Left, well the Left seems cool and you get along and have similar view points so you think okay this could work. But it turns out the have some strange friends who have some real not okay thoughts and the Left will say "I'm not really with them you know", but they will still do stuff with and invite to stuff and won't end the friendship when those friends say some real disgusting things. Then as things progress you are not allowed to have things from a different perspective made from the nuances of your history and experiences. Then Left is telling you can't have certain thoughts, feelings, or be hurt by things. The Left is telling you what think is not what you think, what you heard you didn't, what you saw you didn't see, you just don't get it, you don't understand. Suddenly the rules that you both agreed to are being changed on you, and you are being told that you liar and are in fact the one with power and abusive. Not just that antisemitism is not antisemitism and according to Left you call everything antisemitism to delegitimize and downplay and shutdown. Suddenly the Left knows your history better then you and is explaining your beliefs, history, just everything to you as if you don't know it all already and know it better and more in depth. You are alone with no one and the Left is saying you are cheating with the Right when you would never and you just want to make it work. And it all is mess.

That is basically how I feel right now about the Left and how it feels to be a leftist and Jewish.

I mean it has always been somewhat difficult. There has always been a pretty large amount of antisemitism there. But right now it is on a whole kind of level.

I mean there is the old joke about hating Jews being the one thing that can bring the left and right together.

I think a fair amount of what I'm describing other marginalized people's have felt to a degree as well on the left. I do not want to discount those experiences.

I think overall the left needs to do better, I think it needs to stop being so White TM like white focused in its leftism, I think also that using the USA understanding of Race and Racial politics is dangerous and plain unhelpful when applied to global scale.

I think the Left needs to stop viewing the amount of color in a persons skin to what they must be because it ignores so much history and nuance. This doesn't mean we ignore White Privilege because we can not. This means we need to start having nuance and dialectical thinking going on. Such as understanding Conditional Whiteness and White Privilege are not the same.

The Left also needs to take Colorism more seriously as a whole and do more to combat and end it.

The Left needs to learn and understand just how much of the world we live in now is built on so many systemic abuses. And that the very foundation of it, no material that the foundation is made of is Systemic Ableism, Systemic Anti-Blackness, Systemic Antisemitism, and Systemic Misogyny with everything really branching off and out from there.

Why are we so convinced ADHD (and other neurodivergent people) can't be hypnotized?

This is something I've thought about a lot lately. So a little context of why:

So I've been doing hypnosis for about 12 years now. Back when I was 18 I joined the irc chat on WMM and started being hypnotized pretty much daily. I did files and I had dominants to play with and that continued for a long time. By the time I was in my mid 20's I was extremely easy, in fact too easy. The culture back then also wasn't the greatest for me and my subject agency was pretty mid (gotta love hindsight) but again, I was known for having a very good and very squishy brain. In 2022, my Mum was diagnosed with ASD but also got a surprise ADHD diagnosis. Now, we are very similar so she insisted I get tested and low and behold I have ADHD, inattentive subtype.

This blew my mind because for the longest time I had the clear signs of undiagnosed ADHD but a lot of these things were assumed came from my history of doing a buttload of conditioning files, my health conditions and just being "like that". By this stage I had stopped being hypnotized myself and focused on my role as a dominant and content creator because that for me was something I just had to focus on. My switching stopped and I didn't go under for about three years.

So now, I took a hiatus to go and try something else and when I came back I was stressed and got back into testing out files again. (Also super lucky in this time some friends of mine became hypnosis creators so that was a great way to dabble with people I can trust). My first few experiences were like getting on a bike after years of not riding. It was a little wobbly but soon with practice I was right back where I left off and now even better than that. I think right now I'm getting some of the literal deepest trance experiences ever. It's hard to describe but all I'll say is "oooof".

So why is this backstory important?

Because this is one very clear narrative of a person who had undiagnosed ADHD and found hypnosis very achievable with time, practice and a buttload of conditioning with the right people. Because my ADHD was not a factor until now, I never got told, "you can't be hypnotized" this self fulfilling proficy that makes people feel like this isn't for them which for me seeing this narrative in online spaces breaks my heart for the people who see this and feel that is their label and that is what sticks.

I think it's not our place to say who can or cannot be hypnotized as a general rule because there are not general rules in hypnosis. You can't look at someone and assess them based on factors you don't know or understand. In this world there are very few people who straight up cannot be hypnotized at all to some degree (far less then even the research people keep quoting says at this point) and this is why I feel so strongly that we need to instead of trying to label entire groups as "not good for play" to instead change the narrative to "let's see what works for more people" because brains are different and hypnosis can not be a one size fits all approach. It's too subjective for that.

This is also the biggest reason I made the ADHD hypnosis kink audio recently. I used my knowledge of hypnosis and some research on presentations of ADHD in combination to make something I felt was quite special. Maybe in the future this is something I can work on again because I want all the ADHDers with a hypnosis kink to be able to harness that hyperfocus and those skills we have to make kinky fun times extra fun.

So like, is it time we gave up generalizations on people like this? I know I'm ready to not hear my brain judged before you've even seen what it can do.

Astrology observations 🧡🐱🍊

Credit goes to my Tumblr blog @astroismypassion

🧡 Libra Chiron and Chiron in the 7th house native can often attract a partner with a “man child” behaviour. They might go that far to give nickname to their partner, such as “mamma”, “daddy”, “mamacita” etc.

🍊 Saturn in the 7th house people can divorce around the same age as their parents age were when they got a divorce. This native can disconnect emotionally from their partner around the age their parents divorced.

🐱 Why Sun in the 12th house often comes across as a victim is often, because they change the narrative. They present one story and later they change it or present another aspect of it, which people don’t end up accepting and would often accuse the person of trying to portray themselves as a victim.

🧡 Gemini IC or Gemini over the 4th house native: some of your family members tend to have allergies

🍊Libra Moon men inherently have a knack for what women like in partnerships and how they enjoy being seduced. They just have this natural knowing and instinct. They also think that they seem to prefer big romantic gestures (such as picnic) over gifts.

🐱 Saturn over the 2nd house transit: in the middle of the transit you might realize that money and financial stability doesn’t buy you happiness, emotional stability, confidence, optimistic outlook or status.

🧡 Cancer Venus loves the idea of marrying their first crush. Or someone they have known since teenage years or their whole life.

🍊 Capricorn Jupiter ends up marrying someone older than them. Or a bit younger, but often older. Similar Aquarius Jupiter, either someone a lot older or someone younger. Meanwhile, Libra Jupiter often marries someone with the same age, their peer, because they like an equal partner. Gemini Jupiter ends up marrying someone with whom they have 2-3 years age difference.

🐱 Pisces Venus really enjoys reviewing red carpet looks, fashion choices and outfits. They also really like to discuss fashion and they sometimes idealize it. They share this with Taurus Venus as well.

🧡Aries Moons love dance soo much. Even if they just broke up with someone, failed an exam, broke off an engagement, they are like... at least I can still have dance and have fun. They really express their emotion through dancing.

🍊Celebrities who have Libra MC are often known for their perfume. Such as Gabrielle Coco Chanel and perfume Chanel No. 5, which remains one of the best known perfumes of all time around the world.

🐱Taurus Venus women often face remarks of other people about their body, I would say even more so if the woman also has Taurus, Libra or Aries Moon and Scorpio Rising or Rising at a Scorpio degree. Much like in the case of Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez.

🧡 People who have Gemini Moon or Gemini IC: your parents might often criticize your partner.

🍊Virgo MC often perfects their craft to the last detail. Their clothes are really carefully chosen and curated when younger just to have nurture this image of being flawless. But with age, they tend to dress down, show themselves just as their are. Often they grow to understand that what their identity is and who they are (Pisces IC) is already enough on its own. That they don't need to be perfectly dress or put on a performance without any mistakes. Celebrity examples would be Kim Kardashian, who dresses down with age and likes to present herself in a more "natural" light. Also Justin Bieber, who used to plan out all of his performances with perfect dances and clothing. All was well curated for the audience and the public.

🐱Also, when you have Virgo Midheaven you are more likely to SELL something. Like your own perfumes, bracelets, tarot readings, astrology chart readings, your own music, clothing etc. Even if you are working as a waiter since Virgo is related to service, you are selling drinks and food in the end.

🧡 People with Libra MC or Libra over the 10th house might get accused of having a job or a career only because of their spouse or partner. Like "Kanye made Kim" who has Libra over the 10th house. These people can also end up working for their spouse's business.

🍊Composite Pisces Mars or Mars at a Pisces degree (12, 24) can often cause delays in who one person sees things and when the other learns about them. You might write them a love letter or decide to tell them your feelings months in advance. But they don't really know about your intentions and might hear things for the first time much later than you. Or you might plan a birthday surprise months in advance, but your person might only learn about it much later. Or they mention something they like that you have already bought them or plan to give them.

Credit goes to my Tumblr blog @astroismypassion

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS ✨

✨Hey ik I've been missing for a while but here I am coming back with more astrological observations!!!! ✨This is a collaboration post with @astro-sirena​ !!!✨

💫Having natal hard Aspects between Neptune and the Asc can give the natal person a hard time to Fit in. They often feel like no matter what they do they're not part of a grouping 💫Saturn Trine Personal Planets could bring a lot of mastery revolving the themes of that Planet (recognition too). But making a square could bring the opposite, difficulties and in some cases bad reputation. For example: -Mars Trine Saturn: Very disciplined, strong stamina, mastery of their masculine energy and have a good reputation of being very disciplined and structured people, usually very expert people in what they do. -Mars Squares Saturn:  Have problems with discipline, they could be rebels, have bad reputation of being inconsistent/undisciplined, could be rude without wanting it, have irregular libido and sometimes are afraid of intimacy. -Venus Trine Saturn: Very discipline and mature approach to relationships and their desires, have a good reputation of being very mature and high value people in relationship matters, they could get whatever they put their focus to. -Venus Squares Saturn: Bad reputation in relationships, sometimes fear commitment, they could have low self esteem when it comes to their desires and relationships, problems in love, sometimes immature decisions in love. 💫The planet your north node aspects, can have a significant influence in your life purposes. For example: having mercury aspecting the north node could mean that you could be really influential through teaching, writing or motivational speaking and you feel accomplished through these jobs. 💫People who have their Ascendant in Scorpio degrees(8,20) have beautiful and magnetic eyes. Their bodies tend to be unique and exuding sexual/sensual energy which is really attractive and eye catching to others. They’re mostly average height too. 💫Waldemath(h58) and Pluto are very similar in terms of intensity and negativity. For example: -if you have Pluto conjunct Moon you are very intense at core, every emotion is felt with a terrible intensity and when you are angry you are scary af and even bloodthirsty at times. -If you have Waldemath(h58) conjunct Moon you have the same intensity in terms of negative emotions, you are a very intense person at the core as well but this only is shows when negative emotions arise, with other emotions you are more normal. When angry you have the same fiery demonic raging eyes of a Moon conjunct Pluto person. 💫Having Sappho(80) conjunct Sun in the Natal chat can be an indicator of attracting very easily the same sex or being a crush of someone with the same gender. For example men with this aspect tend to attract a lot of gay people or they attract them very easily. 💫Asteroid Anubis(1912) in 8th house: Handle crises well, they tend to have a lot of wisdom/ knowledge about after death/traumas and suffering, deep understanding of deep parts of our psyche. 💫People with Jupiter conjunct Ascendant tend to come of as really proud and nonchalant. They have a tendency to think that everything they do is right and that they don’t need anyone, but they have a presence that hold a lot of wisdom so people will listen to them even if they are talking pure shit, and usually are really big/tall people. 💫Asteroid Savage(29837) in 3rd house: Very good at comebacks, sometimes they can say things that can hurt people, they are very sneaky and have a very high curiosity, there could be a very savage relationships with brothers/sisters like doing very savage pranks even hostility at times. Is a very rebel person in their way of thinking and doesn’t like to follow orders. 💫Asteroid Poor(13227) in houses indicates what areas of your life are very poor, false, weak and lacks content. Aspecting a Planet is something that you lack for periods of time or that you have to work harder to develop. For example Poor in Hard aspects to Saturn it could mean that sometimes you lack discipline, stability and structure, you have to work really hard to be a mature person with strong set of values. 💫In the house where Saturn is, is the area of life where you tend to be the most minimalist, since Saturn rules minimalism. 💫Mars conjunct Vishnu(4034): Could radiate a lot of divine masculine energy, has godly presence and a powerful aura. They attract a lot of attention and recognition. It’s important for these people to be self aware and connect to their spirituality in order to balance those energies out. With that they can become really magnetic and from that they can attract a lot of opportunities and possibilities. With that they’re also going to exude a lot of sexual energy and are able to attract many sexual encounters. 💫People who have asteroid Shiva(1170) in Scorpio could push their spirituality really hard by taking it to extremes like going to Himalayas mountain to do mysticism and leave society behind or do quite intense spiritual practices. They could pursue enlightenment intensely or feel a very strong devotion to all universe/creation or existence, their approach to life is also all or nothing, and that approach can take them very far in their spiritual journey. Asteroid Shiva(1170) feels really comfortable in the signs of Scorpio, Aquarius, Pisces, Sagittarius and Capricorn because it represents different aspects of Shiva on these signs. 💫Asteroid Pan(4450): Pan is a satyr, the lord of spring & fertility; he's got a thing for nymphs. Mythologically, he was said to be a genius at sex as well as being the God of all wild creatures. Pan shows great lust, great confidence/audacity, absolute lack of shyness/timidity; he is the alcoholic constantly throwing huge parties, indulging in life’s pleasures, joining grand orgies without hesitation. And he is completely uninhibited.. Those with Pan prominent, and especially those with Pan on the Ascendant-- are so wild that they often accidentally intimidate those around them.* 💫Asteroid Nymphe(875) in 9th house: Love to travel, they can connect with their true sexuality when they travel, could indicate sex with foreigners, very adventurer people, sometimes have reckless approach to sex, being in far away places of their home connects them with their mystic side of their femininity. 💫Asteroid Nymphe(875) in 10th house: Very sexy sexy people, they have a reputation of being highly sexually attractive, strong sex appeal, very mystic public persona, being in contact with nature could help them clear their ideas to follow their best path, a lot of people desire/lust them, sometimes men could feel almost like a compulsive desire to this persona, could have something innocent in their aura but this aspect indicate a strong woman who have high values related to their sexuality, probably want men with high authority, status or reputation. 💫Asteroid Hades(h41) conjunct Ascendant: Have a nostalgic presence, could have patriarchal or domineering ways of thinking sometimes, a possessive deep deep person, a person that carries a lot of suffering and history through their souls. They have extremely penetrating minds with a godly presence, could be really depressed sometimes and they have a lot of knowledge of the underworld and probably feels a strong connection to it. 💫Asteroid NOT (2857) indicates something that you decide to not do very much but it seems the opposite to other people, is a contradictory perception. For example: Asteroid NOT in 8th house: You do not have too much sex (decision) but you appear like a sex addict or like someone that has a lot of sex. 💫People who have Saturn In Scorpio could had a very brutal and hard Saturn return. 💫I have never met a Virgo/Libra sun who is not neurotic. 💫Mars in 3rd house could mean abusive relationship with brothers when younger, that could impact in the way they communicate having a very aggressive tone or speaking very louder. 💫If you guys are wondering about the anger of people with Mars in Sagittarius: Lot of them have it conjunct Fixed star Antares who is a very violent star, so they can have an unmatched Anger, rage and violent moments. Very aggressive people when gets angry. 💫People in general underestimate Taurus placements, i know a lot of Taurus people who are really fake/dark/ambitious/ manipulative/ superficial and etc, this is because Taurus placements who are in 17-29 degrees are In conjunction to the malefic Fixed star Algol (head of medusa/demon).

Can you do vaggie x rainbow dash-like reader plantoic headcanons?

Haha! Aww! I like this mix as well. Rainbow Dash is really a good pairing for Vaggie, isn’t she? Well. We had Charlie and Pinkie as besties, Alastor and Rarity as a couple, Husk and Fluttershy as a married couple! Let’s check this out! This is the first time I’ve written for Vaggie too! Once again, short~!

Vaggie- Bolt Spear

Now. Vaggie doesn’t trust people that easily, she doesn’t and with her big… holy secret, she especially doesn’t open up or try be friendly with anybody, except her beloved girlfriend, Charlie. She hasn’t even told Charlie her secret. Though, she is willing to tolerate people for Charlie’s sake

Vaggie, at first, didn’t like you at all. You were so loud and cocky and spunky and overconfident, you reminded her of Alastor in a weird way but due to Charlie’s pushing, she had begun to try tolerate and befriend you

It wasn’t something she enjoyed, Vaggie disliked how you behaved. Kinda arrogant, always flying that she almost asked why you even have legs. Whilst, she respected your great athleticism and your interesting ability to produce a rainbow-coloured sonic boom wave through flying. She didn’t give you any compliments

However. Vaggie ends up further befriending you, the more she holds you in the Hotel, originally at Charlie’s wish but gradually. Getting to know you goes from her just wanting to please Charlie to genuinely finding you unique and interesting

But. Vaggie isn’t good at making friends so the way she approaches you to befriend you includes a lot of trail and error, passive-aggressiveness, her throwing friendship signs like Charlie’s suggested matching bracelets at you and thinking it will work

What’s Vaggie like as a bestie? Actually. She’s a very good open ear, she listens quietly then she tries to offer support or advice to help you. She remembers a lot about you, remembers your flying habits and she doesn’t mind attending your sport tournaments. She is still tough but is willing to be a bit more gentle and understanding

Vaggie does express any annoyance she has with you, even as your closest friend. If you’re being too difficult for her, too bold and prideful. She’ll simmer you down. She’s the rationality of your friendship and the one keeping you anchored so you don’t do something stupid or reckless, out of your own extreme confidence

Yes, Vaggie comes to you during the relationship halter she has with Charlie, when everything begins to go downhill and she is revealed to be an Angel from Heaven… well. You kinda thought she was different but you didn’t really point it out. Now, that you know the truth, you aren’t as mad as everybody else is… like, at least, she isn’t a killer anymore

Vaggie is shocked that you even gave her chance but that you did, not only does she feel more comfortable with trying to confide to you… when she can, she just needs some time and she is honestly quite surprised that you’re willing to back off and wait for her

Vaggie is loyal to her girlfriend and now her best friend so trust me when I say that you reciprocating her loyalty, but to an even bigger degree. She’s grateful that she has a reliable friend and that she knows you won’t cross her, and that she has chose the right person to try be close with

Vaggie is also kinda like your manager. She takes care of you, she makes sure you don’t push yourself too far. She isn’t as intense with her care as she is with Charlie but you’re very important to her so don’t worry, you aren’t forgotten. You’re still her bestie

You two help each other. Believe it or not, you help her understand emotions and express them more whilst she teaches you to always be honest and not be fearful of disappointing your friends

Are you helping Vaggie grow? Yes. Piece by piece, hence why she prefers to be around you when she isn’t with Charlie and for that, the contrasting yet somewhat similar personalities you both share, makes you two very close and you’ve managed to break through this golden-heart angelic toughie!

By the way, she is your Applejack, the one you playfully compete with but is very close friends with~!

“Wait… you’re… still here? But. I thought you’d just— this is very dangerous. You want to stay here with us? Hehee, I guess I shouldn’t suspect anything less from you”

oh ur voltron essay is so incredibly true. it also provides some answers to the bafflement i have been experiencing when looking at zukka tags. like, i was THRILLED when zukka got popular bc i thought it would be freedom from the endless katara ship wars. but people have gotten so incredibly weird. the amount of racist mischaracterization in the tumblr zukka-sphere is out of control. i had accepted that the majority of zukka shippers do not understand the characters at all, and you have now made me realise: not only do they not understand the characters, they see them as. fucking keith and lance. this is horrifying i’m gonna have to sit and contemplate it for a long time

yeah no the katara ship wars are still waging on, people are also just racist about sokka now too. which is awesome. but yeah if not for the fact that i see people compare them to klants all the fucking time (even before zukka got popular, in fact) i would think that im somehow delusional and exaggerating these trends but i know im not because people are constantly admitting it. just saying it out loud. like i used to see people calling sokka and zuko “rivals” a lot and that is clearly a byproduct of klantsification because everyone knows that sokka and azula are rivals. sokka and zuko are simply not rivals in any way except for in the sense that they were trying to kill each other in book 1 i guess. but i’d hardly call that a “rivalry.”

its like. sokka hates zuko and wants him dead and then zuko comes to the western air temple and begs to be let into their group and sokka doesn’t trust him but aang says that he does and sokka knows that aang needs a firebending teacher so that he can defeat the firelord and win the war so sokka is like “okay if that’s what you want, aang” and then he still doesn’t really like or trust zuko at all (at one point he even tells him to go jump into a volcano, which is the TV Y-7 way of getting “kill yourself” through s&p) but he needs information on zuko if he’s going to rectify his mistake and then zuko insists on tagging along for his suicide mission and sokka doesn’t really care whether or not zuko lives or dies so he’s like “yeah fine whatever it’s your funeral” and then zuko demonstrates that he’s actually really earnest and sincere and charmingly awkward and willing to do anything to help sokka and always follows his lead so sokka is like “okay i like this guy now” and then they’re friends and that’s that. at no point does sokka view him as a rival.

as for zuko. zuko doesn’t really care about sokka because he’s hyperfocused on capturing aang and literally nothing else matters and then he decides that he would do anything to help the avatar defeat his father and then sokka kills the indestructible walking wmd of an assassin zuko had previously hired with just his boomerang and then zuko helps sokka infiltrate the boiling rock and proves that he would literally die for him for nothing in return except the reward of seeing him happy. so at no point does zuko consider sokka his rival because he just straight up knows that sokka is better than him in every possible way and he respects that (to an almost unhealthy degree) and just follows his lead unquestioningly. if anything zuko’s rival is also azula, because they were always competing for the same affections. (except azula considers sokka her rival, while zuko considers azula his rival.)

and ppl will frame ZUKO as being out of SOKKA’S league and it’s like. the whole POINT is that sokka is out of zuko’s league and zuko knows it the whole world knows it!!!! they’re not rivals, sokka isn’t a wacky flirty idiot, zuko genuinely terrorized him for months on end, their friendship is built on the intensity of zuko’s devotion genuinely outweighing his previous crimes. anyone who cannot see past the aesthetic similarities between what is a genuinely compelling dynamic between two very well-constructed, dimensional characters and personified shallow tropes written and shipped together in a cynical cash grab should not be engaging with zukka as a ship.

it was so much better in the beforetimes, when no one knew that gay people existed, and everyone who did even remotely ship them was like “awww I love their bromance. #brosforever” because at least then they actually kind of understood what their dynamic was even if they weren’t reading any sort of romantic subtext into it. but I do want to make myself clear. reading romantic subtext into sokka and zuko’s relationship is a genuinely coherent and informed reading of the text. it is not a “headcanon” or a “crackship,” it is a valid interpretation of what is depicted onscreen.

“the boiling rock” is truly the gay subtext episode of atla (and by that I also mean the azula mai ty lee love triangle, which was truly a life changing moment for me as a child) and while there are of course multiple valid readings of characters’ motivations and behaviors as grounded in and informed by the text, especially when it comes to unspoken romantic motivations, i really do think that it’s in no way a stretch to assume that due to factors such as — a) zuko knowing sokka and saying sokka’s name way more than he says any other gaang member’s name b) zuko risking his own life to blindly follow sokka on a suicide mission to an impenetrable supermax when he is literally wanted by the state for high treason, and trusting his lead unconditionally c) zuko just generally being so soft and docile around sokka when he’s normally a tightly wound ball of stress and rage who yells at anyone who so much as looks at him funny, and of course d) zuko literally flirting with sokka in the cooler??? because I don’t know how else to explain that scene that looks like it came straight out of a cheap porno — really do seem to indicate that zuko is down bad for sokka.

and seeing as a) reading zuko as gay is already such a logical way to read his entire character arc and the significance of his journey and b) pretty much everyone they meet is down bad for sokka (assuming they’re not already down bad for katara, that is), it’s really not an incoherent or fantastical ship. like, ymmv on whether sokka actually returns zuko’s feelings (I am mostly a proponent of one-sided zukka, but I also think that I could sort of see them getting together in their late 20s or smth. idk), it’s a genuinely compelling and coherent way to read their dynamic nonetheless. the problem is when people reduce their preexisting, compelling dynamic in service of conforming to narrow and often harmful (eg, racist) troping.

i am genuinely compelled by zuko’s uncharacteristic, almost hero-worship of sokka, his desperation to be his friend to the point of following him to the ends of the earth to prevent him from quite literally killing himself. and i think there’s something really lovely about the way these two teenage boys who have both struggled so much to conform to a harmful and militaristic masculinity could embrace their nerdier and more sensitive qualities (eg, zuko is canonically a theater kid who is apparently “quite the seamstress,” sokka is canonically a poet[ry appreciator] and likes to draw and carve) together.

i love the idea of a postcanon wherein sokka acts as zuko’s senior advisor and basically willingly puppets him and runs the fire nation from the shadows (while also doing the same in the earth kingdom simultaneously, because let’s be real, both zuko and kuei are out of their depths), and how that would also complicate their dynamic. but of course anyone who does subscribe to the “sokka works in the fire palace” hypothetical always makes sokka an “ambassador,” which is just stupid. sokka would not be satisfied merely doing ambassadorial busywork, he is literally an incorrigible control freak and he would be shadow running the fire nation, at zuko’s behest. and so on and so forth.

and yet, all the fanart of them is either wildly out of character, or sokka and zuko’s personalities have literally been reversed, which is somehow even worse. i won’t pinpoint exact examples, but im also pretty sure that if you took my hand and we went into the zukka tag together, i would just be like “nope. no. no. wrong. incorrect. wildly incorrect. egregiously wrong. no. incorrect.” and so on and so forth for every single post.

so yeah. the reason i don’t really discuss their dynamic anymore, despite still finding it compelling in its own right, is because the fans genuinely annoy me so much that they’ve turned me into a hater. it’s not even that it’s a bad ship, or that it’s not my personal cup of tea, or that’s it not grounded enough in canon for my liking. i think they’re fascinating to chew on as presented in the text. but what “fans” have done to “them” has warped whatever potential they actually have in the text into something that is both sinister and obnoxious. those aren’t sokka and zuko anymore. that’s lankka and keiko. and i don’t know those guys. they are total strangers to me. and they’re annoying and shallow and cliched and have i mentioned annoying. and i hate them.

I finally realised why this panel sticks out to me. 

For context: Everyone just arrived in the nightmare Functionist Universe, they’ve ended up somewhere they aren’t supposed to be, and the little drone is basically a cop who wants to search everyone. 

And this scene sticks out to me, this panel in particular, because Ratchet is the only one who challenges the cop-drone. 

Which is pretty significant, actually. 

How to Deal With Space Cops: Fucking Don’t! Unless You Can Get Away With It. 

Rodimus, Drift, Megatron, and Terminus all come from backgrounds where they were all harassed by authority figures on at least a fairly regular basis; They’re far more familiar with being pushed around by cops than Ratchet would be. 

Granted, Ratchet worked in the Dead End and undoubtedly got some degree of shit for it, but he still had the social class/caste status to dodge the more severe questioning, and had friends who were active duty cops himself. He got bothered by some authority figures, but for the most part, he could talk back without fear of suffering any of the more severe repercussions that most of the others here would be facing if they did anything similar. 

Authorities Aren’t That Scared of Authorities 

Chromedome, Rewind, Roller, and Minimus have all worked for or alongside bodies of authority themselves, and therefore likely aren’t as immediately resistant; They want to get through this without incident if they can, and in their minds, that means hearing out the cop-bot before they do anything. Their reactions are on hold. They’re listening, not talking-- Because most of them have been the person questioning others before. 

Gutter Mechs Know The Unspoken Reality of Things 

But check out the looks on Rodimus and Terminus’ faces. They’re just like, alright, this shit again. They’re not letting their faces show anything that a cop-drone might interpret as resistance or aggression, or they know they’re fucked. 

Drift and Megatron actively look put off, because they’re taking more of a defensive approach. They’ve both been treated severely and with suspicion by authority figures before, especially representatives of law enforcement, so they’re not saying anything--But their expressions show that they’re already calling bullshit on whatever this little cop-drone wants with them. “What does this thing want with us, now?” And rightfully, they don’t say shit. They know better. 

It’s a brilliant little bit of visual storytelling. Their reactions--or lack thereof--in their faces is a nice touch. The group of bots present consists of a mix of people with very different experiences of dealing with (or working with) oppressive authorities in their pasts, and Ratchet is the only bot here who wasn’t either a gutter mech or low class/caste, and also wasn’t an authority figure himself (his authority is entirely within the role of CMO, which is still a position of authority within a medical context, but not beyond that). 

Ratchet Had a Cop Friend, So Now His Ingrained Perspective on Authority is Somewhat Fucked

So of course, Ratchet, who has been relatively protected from the worst outcomes of dealing with cops in the past, is the only one to speak up here and risk challenging the cop-drone with a question-- Because why wouldn’t he push back? He’s never suffered at the hands of cops and was never a cop himself. He had cop friends. Surely the cop-drone has to provide a reason for a stop and search? And surely he knows that isn’t necessarily the case in reality, but he still asks, like he’s surprised or caught off guard to at least some degree. (Oh, Ratchet. I like to think that Drift talked to him about this shit afterwards...) 

Ratchet never worked for or alongside a police department before. He doesn’t grasp how fucked he is, if that little cop-drone decides he’s a non-person on a whim. He might understand that there’s risk in this interaction on an intellectual level, but on a personal risk level, he’s never really been at that much risk of being trashed by the cops. 

Even when working in the Dead End, his cop friend(s) clearly knew about it and never arrested him for it. Shit, we know at least one of his cop friends actively helped him out by dropping off potential patients at his clinic. 

So everyone else present has some level of experience, good or bad, with dealing with actual cop bullshit. But the majority of Ratchet’s personal experience with cops has been entirely through the lens of being a respected mid or high class/caste bot with a profession that benefits pretty much everyone, including the cops. He’s largely been “safe”, even when doing unsafe/illegal shit like running his Dead End clinic.  

So of course, his immediate reaction to being stopped and searched is essentially total bewilderment. 

Privilege: Legacy of Cybertron’s Past  

It’s entirely possible that Ratchet, even when working in the Dead End, has never really been all that bothered by cops/authorities before, despite the risks involved in running his clinic there. 

This might be the first time that he’s being stopped and searched like this. He’s never really been profiled or viewed by authorities in this way before, at least not so directly. He’s now dealing with a cop-drone that is treating him the way they treat most people, not the way they treat Ratchet the Medic and Trusted Friend of a Police Captain Equivalent, because the authorities in this universe are ones that he has no personal connection or familiarity with. 

His profile isn’t automatically popping up with all his credentials next to his name. He’s just some bot, with a bunch of other bots, and he’s now suspect. And that seems to have caught him off guard, a little bit. 

Nobody else is saying shit, because they understand this situation more personally. They’ve either been treated like shit by cops before, or they’ve BEEN cops before. 

But Ratchet is the odd one out, and he’s the only one with the particular social status of being a medical doctor, and so he pushes back, because what, exactly, did this little cop-drone say to him? And he feels secure enough to actually ask the drone for clarification. The authority figure bots know to stay quiet and let the cop-drone lead, and the gutter mechs/low class bots know that whatever they say, they’re about to get arrested anyway. 

Nobody but Ratchet is surprised, and it really feels like Ratchet is showing some of his pre-war social privilege here, totally by accident. It’s not his fault, it’s just how he experienced pre-war life compared to the others. Cybertron was a shitty place, and Ratchet was only aware of how shitty it was because of his personal drive to engage with those of lower classes/castes in order to try to assist them; If he hadn’t actively desired to open his own clinic in the Dead End, he would have stayed in Iacon, surrounded by other mid or high class bots. The same people he had spent most of his time interacting with, up until that point. 

We see how he handles Drift in the flashback to when they had first met; His advice comes from good intentions and genuine desire to help Drift, but the advice is ultimately hollow and impossible for Drift to commit to. Ratchet is shown as not really grasping how dire things are, that it’s not possible for Drift or other bots like him to simply walk into a job centre and pick up a paying gig. It took some time for Ratchet to understand this, because it wasn’t his lived experience; As a medic top of his class, he’s always been in high demand. But that isn’t the reality for Drift. 

It’s a realistic approach to exploring class/caste differences, and I really appreciate it. 

This panel is a genius quick and subtle way to emphasise the class/caste differences between all of the characters here, and highlight how vastly differently these bots would all be treated-- Both in their actual past, and in this alternate Functionist universe. 

Anyway it’s 3 AM so I’m going to bed now, just wanted to write this out before I forgot about it LMAO <3 

I can’t recall the exact issue this panel is from at the moment, but when I remember or get the time to look it up again, I’ll edit this to let y’all know! :) 

Hey I saw your post about Zoro and Sanji getting jealous over every person they meet getting a crush on Usopp and it reminded me that I made up an entire Pirate Crew OC's with the sole purpose of all of them having a crush on Usopp (because he deserves having a bunch of people fawning over him <3) and how this bleeds to Zoro and Sanji (and to a minor degree Nami and Luffy) to get a little more "possesive" over him like sitting closer to him, glaring at the other crew members (Luffy in his Luffy way), more physical contact (specially Sanji), Usopp meanwhile thinks its all really funny but tries not to think too much about it or he'll get really flustered

Meanwhile the other crew is just chilling talking amongst them how cute the Strawhats Sniper is, mildly oblivious to the rest of the crew's murder looks (as in, lets ignore it because obviously that guy is taken and we respect that)

Anon your brain is so gigantonormous……… I’d like to assign myself the role of Captain of the Usopp Admirers.

IDK what your OCs are like but I imagine that a scenario such as this can go as follows:

The Straw Hats are hanging around on an island while they wait for their log pose to reset and they run into another pirate group. Luckily, the other pirates are similar in their interest in having fun adventures rather than looting or pillaging. It's good times all around as the two crews laugh party, eat, and drink. It doesn't take long for Usopp to take his place on the main stage and grab everyone's attention as he shares the dramatic tales of the Straw Hats. His crew mates are watching fondly as the other pirates are left starstruck by their sniper and storyteller. Usopp happily plays his role as an entertainer--dancing, singing, telling jokes, doing magic tricks, and showing off his sniping skills. The other crew head back to their ship that first night singing Usopp's praises.

Over the next few days, the pirate crews mingle and it soon becomes clear to the Straw Hats that their new friends are completely enraptured by Usopp. The rest of the Straw Hats are chopped liver compared to their sniper, only made worse by him playing into it and soaking up all the attention. Nami can't help but feel scorned when she catches him fixing up a weapon for one of the other pirates. Luffy frowns when someone on the other crew throws an arm around Usopp's shoulder. Sanji bites his cigarette in half when Usopp is handfed food made by the other pirate crew's chef. Zoro grips the hilt of his sword when he goes to one of the other pirates for protection.

The Straw Hats are a possessive bunch, so it doesn't take long for the other pirates to realize that their admiration of Usopp is going to have to remain platonic. If looks could kill Zoro would've slain them a thousand times over. He doesn't say much, but he stays near Usopp and glares when one of the other pirates gets too close. Nami makes sly comments about their sniper, who is their priceless treasure. Sanji is even touchier than usual as he runs his hands over Usopp's arms, holds his hand, and tugs on his hair. Luffy doesn't bother hiding his jealousy. When his frustration boils over he grabs Usopp and yells that Usopp is his sniper and they can’t have him!

As his partners, Zoro and Sanji can’t simply allow for their boyfriend to be accosted right in front of their eyes. They kiss him right in front of everyone. They whisper promises in his ear that make him go red in the face. Sanji calls him pet names and Zoro holds him from behind.

Usopp is absolutely loving all of the attention. He's embarrassed because he doesn't really understand why he's the one being fawned over, but he'll happily soak up all the adoration. He loves seeing how much his nakama care for him and it's pretty funny to see how possessive they can be.

The other crew find the Straw Hats’ possessiveness amusing, and they’re glad that Usopp is part of a crew that loves and value him so much. They leave the island with lots of hugs and compliments for their favourite sniper and promises to meet up later on the Grand Line.

“Usopp, love?” Sanji says once the other pirates’ ship is out of sight. “Let’s avoid entertaining affections from other pirates in the future, hm?”

Zoro nods, arms crossed. “Don’t entertain anyone. You don’t need them. You have us.”

Usopp laughs and buries himself further in their arms. “Hey, it’s not my fault that everyone wants a piece of the Great Captain Usopp. But yeah, okay. You guys are all I need.”

I am not a psychologist so I have no clue if this is just my own crackpot theory or what. And my apologies if I’m speaking out of my ass here.

We were not made for a fallen world. We were made for Eden. Since we have to live in this world corrupted by sin, the brain does what it has to in order to survive.

A toddler doesn’t know what “hot” means, until one day you warn the child not to touch a plate because it’s “hot,” they touch anyways, they feel the sting, and now they understand what “hot” means. The brain, now acknowledging this is something that can be a threat, has an immediate response to “hot.” Anytime someone says “hot,” we immediately recoil and make sure we don’t touch whatever is believed to be hot. The brain is simply trying to survive.

I think there’s a similar thing happening with trauma response. It’s the brain doing the same thing, but to such an extreme degree that it’s almost impossible to function. If someone survives a near fatal car crash, they may panic when they go near a car. Why? Because the brain has learned this thing to be an immediate and serious threat. The brain is now trained to fear and recoil. If you lived in a war zone and learned to sleep with one eye open so to speak, the brain is now trained to sense danger at every turn, especially when you’re in such a vulnerable state as sleep. You’re living in a constant state of anxiety because you expect a fatal threat. It’s why sudden noises and movements can trigger anxiety.

The brain is doing what it does. It adapts to perceived threats for survival. This heightened state of anxiety is deemed necessary by the brain, but we were not made to live in such a state. We cant. So the brain is, ironically, slowly killing itself. The brain is rewired and burned out and always looking for that next serious threat. It’s always reminding us that the threat looms. It’s where the subconscious lives. It’s why there’s constant anxiety, why there’s nightmares.

Of course, this can be exacerbated if the trauma is accompanied by severe grief or guilt.

This brings me to my point. If you would not tell someone to just pray the cancer away, I don’t think you can tell them to just pray the trauma away. We’re talking about a real physiological problem happening.

I think grief and guilt can be assuaged by the gospel. But the brain’s inner working itself? It’s a medical problem the same as any other. God absolutely can heal trauma same as cancer, but sometimes he doesn’t. Faith can absolutely bring about peace in hardships and give us the strength to carry on, but it’s not a guarantee that God will remove the hardship. That would be prosperity gospel.

And with all of this we can also recognize that certain treatments or habits may help relieve symptoms without fully curing, it exists on a medical spectrum.

And I think this is true about a lot of mental illness.

For the record, I think most mental illness in modern America is actually spiritual illness. And I think most psychologists are looney tunes. But people abusing a certain field of study and being stupid and misdiagnosing doesn’t negate the field of study as a whole.

If every sick person who walks into a doctors office no matter the symptoms gets diagnosed with cancer, it means the doctor is a quack and we have a problem of over diagnosis of a disease. But it doesn’t mean the disease isn’t real and that a certain percentage of the population doesn’t actually suffer from it. That would be a downright foolish thought.

Hormones, brain function, all of it can affect the mind. The brain is a complex organ. We still can’t fully understand it. And I don’t think we ever will. We know the brain can affect the mind. If it didn’t, people with TBIs would never suffer from sudden mental illness or personality shifts.

It seems wholly unchristian to deny the reality of both our body and the fallen state of the world.

𝑰 𝑵𝑬𝑬𝑫 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑻𝑶 𝑻𝑬𝑳𝑳 𝑴𝑬 𝑻𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑰'𝑴 𝑮𝑶𝑶𝑫

pairing: tommy miller x fem!reader

genre: smut, soft enemies to lovers, minors dni

word count: 3.4k

summary: when you met him the first time him and his brother was your captor, months later he becomes yours, and quickly after that he become a resident of Jackson. You've already forgiven him for his past, but he's not happy with how eager you are to excuse what he's done.

warnings: tommy having a hero complex, tommy lashing out, piv sex, time skips, oral (giving & receiving)

a/n: the format I've written this in is inspired by @littlemisspascal 's getting lost is being found joel fic, which I highly recommend by the way it was amazing, one of my favorite things ever 💜

i.

The world went to shit, well joke on the world, your life was already shit long before outbreak day. 

It wasn’t for a lack of trying. Nothing just seemed to work out for you. But then all hell broke loose and suddenly it felt like you were off the hook, that you could be someone else, someone you always wanted to be. Someone that you knew you were. Before all this, you were just hurt, felt broken, but still smiled and went about your day. You tried to be good. Tried to be nice. For the most part, you like to think that you succeeded. 

You became a guide. Somewhat similar to Charon, if you spared yourself the thought but instead of guiding the dead to Hades, you guided the living away from it. Things went smooth for the most part, you helped people where they needed to go, killed infected, shot down those who shot first. It was the oddest type of freedom that you felt. 

But life had other plans, and life loved to point its middle finger right into your face. 

It’s a dad and his two kids this time, you were helping them get to the nearest QZ. You cut the fence, helped them through, you knew hunters were lurking nearby, people who survived on killing and stealing—vultures. 

You feel a tight grip on your neck and you’re being violently pulled back. The kids look back at you with horror lingering in their eyes, the dad eager to pull them away. With a deep breath, you manage to force out a smile. 

“Go!” you shout. “You’re almost there!” 

And they run, they run as fast as they can. 

“Fuck!” you hear one of them say, a deep souther drawl heavy in your ear. “Shit, they got away. They had good weapons on them too.” 

“At least we got the one,” the man that holds you answers. “Let’s go back, see what this one has.” 

“Let me the fuck go!” you struggle, attempting to elbow him in the stomach. “You fucking assholes. They were fucking kids.” 

Finally one comes into view, he’s broad—broad enough to stun you into silence. The fear of death lurks around your heart, sucking you into a black pit of realizing that this might be it. He has a glare that could kill, a hooked nose, and, most importantly, a gun. This man, you notice, this man would kill you in a heartbeat. He gives you one last once-over before tilting his head to the other holding you down. 

“Knock her out, Tommy.” 

ii. 

It’s late. Far too late for anyone to be awake. The embers of the crackling fire had died down, only specks of golden orange shimmering between the ash. You’ve learned the names of your captors; Tommy and Joel. Brothers, you assumed, they didn’t really have to spell it out for it to be obvious. 

You’re not sure why you’re still alive. You remember Joel muttering something about using you as bait, or to learn more about the routes that you seemed to know. Tommy had agreed. 

In another life, another time, you would’ve deemed the men attractive. Especially Tommy. He had a boyish charm to him, longer hair compared to his brother (those poor dark locks had definitely seen better days), and mussed unkempt facial hair indicating that they’d been at this for a long time. You understand, to a degree, why someone might choose this to survive. Some people just didn’t know what else to do. Some people simply enjoyed it; the power, the freedom, the giddiness of not having a system to say no. 

From what you understand, these two just had no idea what else to do. Too far off to reach a QZ, or they simply don’t trust FEDRA, whatever it is they seem to have made a life for themselves neither of them looked happy to be in. 

Your eyes fall to where Joel is sleeping, Tommy’s on watch, which makes you somewhat hopeful, you don’t have the strength to piss off Joel—Tommy you can take a chance with, he seemed softer. Softer like a rose, pricking you if you’re too lax and not careful enough. 

You’ve been captured before, and due to that, it doesn’t take long for you to free yourself from the hard ropes they tied you in. You hold your breath as you move away from the camp, careful not to step on any branches or rubble. You see Tommy ahead, he’s looking at you, the moonlight reflecting in his eyes. You expect him to shoot, to chase after you. 

He continues to stare as you disappear into the night. 

ii.

You see a lot of dead bodies by the riverbed. Some infected, some not. You think about turning around, walking back to where you came from but before you can make a decision you’re surrounded. Your hands rise instantly, not wanting to cause trouble. Multiple rifles are pointed directly at you, and you notice a cute black dog but you have an inkling you won’t be feeling the same in a couple of minutes. 

“I’m not here to cause trouble,” you say, the cold seeping through your jacket. “Just lost. I’m not infected.” 

“Naive for you to think we’ll believe you,” one of the horsemen answers. “You mind if we test that out?”

You didn’t mind, but even if you did, you doubt you have any say in the matter. The dog comes forward, ears pressed against his skull, and you instinctively reach out your hand. You can’t really feel the wetness of his nose, but you can imagine it as he presses into your gloved palm. A moment later he starts wagging his tail. 

A horse, along with its rider, steps up and everyone looks nervously at the equestrian. You straighten yourself and notice that even the dog pulls away, the energy she has demands respect, and oozes power. You swallow, looking up at her with both amusement and fear. 

"You can come with us," she says, and without hesitation, one of the men helps you up onto the horse they're riding. Your hands fumble nervously as you grab onto the horse's shoulders, trying to steady yourself.

You’re not dead yet so you must be doing something right. 

iv. 

You trudge through the biting snow, your skin prickles with cold and the relentless flakes melt as soon as they touch your skin. You shudder. The cold is almost unbearable, but everyone has to pull their weight, no exceptions. Narrowing your eyes,, you spot a lone figure struggling in the snow. The way he moves is sluggish and ungainly, like a snail inching its way along a path.

With a sharp whistle, you signal to your companions to follow. They circle around the body with hesitation; it’s a man, a man that is somewhat familiar to you. The stranger groans and turns to his back, chest heaving heavily, you notice the tremble of his lips, the redness of his nose. You even notice the build-up of snow in his hair.

You know him. You have no idea how he ended up all the way here, but you know him. Getting off the horse, you shake your head. You don't know him, not really. You only know his name and what he represents.

Ian approaches, his eyes questioning as he asks, "What should we do? Should we leave him?"

“I know him,” you say, a hint of amusement in your voice due to the irony. “Let’s take him in. I’ll talk to Maria.” 

His eyes flutter open, a brief expression of confusion appearing on his features. You can’t help but lean over a bit, hands placed on your hips. 

“You’re not dead yet. Don’t worry.” 

But as soon as the words leave your lips, Tommy loses consciousness.

v. 

He’s alone at the bar. He’s always alone. 

Initially, Maria was reluctant to let Tommy stay, but for some reason, you vouched for him. You deeply believe that everyone deserves a second chance. A slightly foolish, maybe even childish, thought on your part but you can’t help it. In his eyes you only see parts of a broken man, his belief in the world shattered and gone with the wind. 

Tommy struggles with socializing. He says hi and good morning but that’s pretty much all anyone can get out of him. You’re the only one who knows he has a brother, what he’s done. He’s especially annoyed when you’re around, which you think is a little bit unfair but you digress. He does what he’s told and handy with most things—which is lucky for you, you would hear a handful if he couldn’t do anything. 

You want to talk to him, you have ever since you first saw him again. Hoping that this time it’ll be different, you sit near him not next to him. There are two empty seats between you two. 

“Hi,” you greet him, he doesn’t look at you. In fact, he doesn’t acknowledge you at all. “How are you?” 

No answer. 

“You’re not having any issues right? You know, heating, water pressure, all that jazz.” 

You’re not surprised at the least when he gets up and leave, not a word uttered. He pushes past the crowd and disappears through the door, into the cold. Unlike other times, this is the first instance where anger simmers hot in your gut. You’ve been nothing but patient. But not tonight. He’s going to talk to you whether he likes it or not. 

With anger in your steps, you storm out. Luckily, he’s not far. You find him staring up at the undecorated Christmas tree. Normally, you would find it a somber sight, but you’re too frustrated to think about how good he looks with snow falling around him. 

“Tommy!” you yell out, and he flinches, head snapping to you with wide eyes. “What the hell is your deal?” 

“My deal?” he answers, voice eerily smooth and calm. “I should be fuckin’ asking you that.” 

You’re standing an inch from him, the cold biting into your skin. “My deal? I’ve been nothing but nice to you. Wouldn’t wanna play that card but may I remind you that you’re fucking alive because of me? You could at least not be an asshole.” 

“Sure you wanna go that route sweetheart? Because I could easily say the same thing for you.” 

That night—the night that you escaped, so he did see you. All this time you convinced yourself that it was your eyes playing tricks in the dark. You shake your head, wanting to dislodge the moment from your mind. 

“That still doesn’t answer my question,” you hiss. “Why are you avoiding me? I just want to talk.” 

“Just leave me the fuck alone. You shouldn’t want to talk to me— someone like you… It ain’t normal. I should’ve died that night. I didn’t ask you to fuckin’ save me.” 

You’re taken aback by the silent rage but refuse to show him the effect he has. The only indication that his words had any kind of result is when you take a step back, allowing him some semblance of space. 

“You’re right, you didn’t,” you say softly, slowly. His gaze bores into you. “But I did. And you’re here. I didn’t save you that night to just make a point of who’s the better person. As you said, you allowed me to go that night—thank you by the way—but what are you going to do, just not talk to me? Ignore me? I don’t think that’s fair for either of us.”

You stand frozen as Tommy takes a step closer, his breath hot against your skin. 

"What do you want from me?" he growls, his voice low and threatening.

You try to take a step back but he follows, closing the gap between you. You can feel the heat emanating from his body, a stark contrast to the frigid air around you. His lips curl into a slight sneer, and you can't help but feel a slight twinge of fear.

"You're always so nice, aren't you?" he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "But what do you really want? You want me to be your little pet? Fixing me up like some broken toy. Well, newsflash, sweetheart, I'm not broken. I'm just fine the way I am."

"That’s not—" you say, your voice barely above a whisper. "That wasn’t my intention at all. The world is shit, I just didn’t want to add to it."

Tommy scoffs, his eyes glinting with anger. "But you did by keeping me alive. I did horrible things, things you can’t even imagine. So don't pretend like you understand me, because you don't."

“I know the shit you did Tommy. I was almost one of your victims, remember?”

His eyes drop to the ground, the fire in his eyes finally fading. He takes a quick step back, shoulder slumped, he shakes his head. 

“I remember. There ain’t a day I don’t remember the shit I’ve done—we’ve done with my brother.” 

Tommy gives you one last look before walking away, “I don’t need your pity.” 

Half an hour later, you’re still standing there under the snow, completely alone. 

vi.

It’s a dance almost. You find different ways for Tommy to communicate with you. You unlock his anger, his disappointment, his need to be good—the hero, if you will. But to be fair, you can’t take all the credit. It was mostly due to him, you got too close, and he got too frustrated. It was a brief moment of lips touching, then it quickly turned into a desperate ask for submission. You were eager to give, he hated that. Hated that you could when he couldn’t. 

You know that there’s a high chance of other things lingering below the surface, things that he probably hadn’t dared to address himself. 

In the privacy of your bedroom, you’re on your knees for him. Sucking on the tip of his cock eagerly as he stands upright, his hands are firsts that are stuck to his sides. This isn’t the first time, it isn’t the last. By the way salty precum coats your tongue, you know he’s enjoying himself. He has to be, if he wasn’t this wouldn’t be happening. 

You figure that he enjoys fighting against it until he breaks. When he surrenders himself to it, to the pleasure, to the primal need to take, he pins you down and fucks you with everything he has. All his frustration seeps into you, each stroke deeper than the next. You enjoy that he’s rough, you enjoy feeling the lingering sting on your skin long after he leaves. 

Looking up, you swallow him further down. He’s not overly thick but long, the dark curls at the base trimmed but still looking untouched. Tommy thrusts forward, the head of his cock brushing the back of your throat. Your nostrils flare as your lungs convulse with the need to cough, he notices but doesn’t pull back. Instead, you feel two hands cradling the back of your neck, pulling you further down his length, making you take him whole. 

Your eyes go wide and squeeze shut right after. You feel him throbbing in your throat and you swallow, again and again, which prompts him to drag his cock out slightly only to bury himself back into your throat. Your jaw aches, spit dripping down the corners of your lips as you flatten your tongue over the underside of his cock. A faint growl echoes from the back of his throat, you swallow again, he fucks your mouth as he would your wet cunt. Tears flood your lashline, you can barely breathe. Your throat tightens around him. 

“Fuck, don’t close your eyes,” he grunts, the dark curls at the base tickling your nose. “Look at me. Look at me like you always do.” 

The Look, is something that you still don’t quite understand. He says it often, telling you to look at him the way that you do, but you emphasize nothing special when you do end up looking at him. It’s just your normal gaze. He only asks for it when he’s inside you. 

You slowly open your eyes, your lashes wet and stuck together. His thumb smooths over the patch of skin right under your eye, his chest stutters, muscles growing taut under your gaze. 

Ironically, he closes his eyes and lifts his head as if staring at the ceiling. He doesn’t utter another word after that, your lips raw from the way he thrust forward. You feel the twitch of his cock, thick ropes sliding down your throat. You never tire of the taste of him. Not sweet, not bitter. You enjoy the brief moment he forgets where he is, that soft noise escaping his lips, the juvenile way his thighs shake—those are the things that make you ache for the taste of him. You’re an addict. 

But so is he. 

vii.

Your palms press into the smooth surface of the bar counter. Tommy lurks behind you, cock pressing inside, fingers making dents into your warm skin. It’s late into the night, you’re not sure of the exact time but you know it’s late. His one hand slips between your legs, he feels how wet you are, how needy you get for him. He presses a finger to your clit, the pads of the digits moving in deft circles. 

A sharp moan parts your lips, back arching as he pounds into you, the sound of skin against skin loud, yet not enough to pierce the sound of the snowstorm outside. A dose of pleasure buzzes through your veins, electricity crackling across your skin as you feel his length press deep inside. His fingers grasp your throat, pulling you up until his lips tickle your ear. He heaves, his warm breath fanning your skin. 

“Tell me I’m a good person,” he chokes out. “Please.” 

“You’re good,” you answer slightly out of breath. You touch his neck, the position slightly straining but worth it when he holds you tighter. “Such a good man—and I mean that.” 

Your eyes widen with shock when he slides his tongue into your mouth. Tommy doesn’t kiss you often, if at all, but it lights a fire under your stomach. It burns you from the inside out, the smoke of it making your mind spin. Your eyes flutter close and you take a deep breath, he grinds his hips, your insides pulsing around him. 

“I don’t care even if you’re lyin’—” 

He releases you and you stumble forward, hands finding purchase on the bar counter once more. But you can’t hold your position for long, not with the way he’s hammering into you, reducing you into a babbling mess. Your hands slide, your upper body completely falling over. Tommy doesn’t pause, he doesn’t even slow down. He presses you further into the surface.

“Because I know that you are.” 

Tommy suddenly pulls out, a sharp gasp rips from your throat, your cunt clenching around nothing. Before you can protest, however, he turns you over and pushes you. He kneels between your legs, lips finding the tender folds of your pussy. 

Your head falls back when he licks into you eagerly, tasting himself and your arousal. His groans vibrate against you, your thighs threaten to close, the meat of them pressing into both sides of his face. 

His lips press against your clit, suckling and teasing it in a way that drives you wild. His tongue moves in circles as he pushes two fingers, curling them and applying pressure. Without a second thought, you fingers thread his hair, tugging him closer. Arousal pools between your legs.

Your breathing becomes labored and your body starts to shake. Your eyes roll back as your entire body shakes. Your hips buck against him as he continues to bring you over the edge, your cries of pleasure echoing off the walls of the bar. 

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, you collapse against the bar counter, your body still shaking from the intensity of the orgasm. You can feel your skin tingling, your heart pounding and your head spinning. Tommy stands, a hint of pride lingering in his dark eyes. You continue to breathe and watch as he fists himself, the tip of his cock a shade darker when he comes thick ropes over your stomach. You hiss at the heat, the feeling of having a part of him staining you. 

Tommy pulls up his pants, and you notice as you get dressed, he’s avoiding your gaze. You’re too satisfied to care. He licks his lips, which you found was a nervous habit he has and offers you his arm. You hadn’t expected it, but indulge in the gesture by taking it. 

“Let’s get out of here before someone sees us.” 

Sooner or later I've gotta make a better post regarding the appropriation of indigenous terminology by proponents of (certain kinds of) Welsh nationalism. But for now here's a very whistle-stop version of that post. I have a degree in Celtic Studies so these topics are very near and dear to my heart.

[Note: I wrote this post originally during a migraine. I'm revisiting the draft while I'm ill but hopefully can fix this up into something somewhat understandable. As always, this is only a very brief description of the history and I strongly reccomend reading about these topics in your own time to develop a deeper understanding of them. These are topics not even well known in Britain, but if you can spend a short time just to read this, you can help to combat misinformation about British (particularly Welsh) history - and that could aid in preventing the misappropriation of history in the long run. Diolch eto for reading!]

Very often, (certain) Welsh nationalists use terminology that positions the Welsh as if they are an 'indigenous' population who have been 'colonised'. They use language (which in this climate) heavily draws upon the language typically used for peoples who are the victims of British colonialism (of which Wales was an active participant). There's multiple issues with this and many of them lie in whether its appropriate to use this language (regardless of its accuracy or not) as a country which was actively involved in the colonisation of much of the world. What I mean in short is that additional language is needed which doesn't step on the toes of endangered cultures and groups directly affected by British colonialism.

Wales not only participated in British colonialism as a whole (alongside Scotland, Ireland* and England) but itself colonised parts of patagonia in Argentina.

I can't think of any similar terminology to 'indigenous' or 'colonised' which would also get the idea which is meant across. 'Native' in certain contexts is permissible, e.g. 'native speaker' in the context of a Welsh speaker. But in other contexts other than langauge, things get tricky when you argue 'nativeness' (this is a topic I will come back to - especially re. Celtic as a language descriptor vs Celtic as a so-called ethnicity). When (certain) Welsh nationalists talk about being 'indigenous' , being 'native' or 'colonised' what is meant by that?

(Map of the expansion of the Bronze Age Bell Beaker culture circa 2400 BC in Britain and Ireland) - from this map

What makes a Welsh person 'indigenous' to this island that doesn't immediately disqualify other peoples who also have a deep history here? Historically, the island of Britain has been lived on by many, many peoples.

In the Bronze Age you had the arrival of the Bell Beaker people. Then in the Iron-Age, you had tribes speaking (mostly) Brittonic. I say mostly, because we have direct evidence that in the Iron Age Gaulish speaking tribes also moved to parts of Britain but later became integrated with the rest of the population (which, I will add, were not a united peoples but a scattering of different groups who often went to war against each other). Then the Romans invaded Britain (and much of Western Europe) and over time integrated into the local population. So now Britain is Romano-British. Eventually the Western Roman Empire collapses and Britain enters into the sub-Roman Britain phase of its existence. Kingdoms begin to form, with the population speaking Brittonic and British-Latin. So you have different kingdoms in (what would become Wales) and in (what would become Northern England and Southern Scotland) you have more Brittonic-speaking kingdoms.

These kingdoms were also not a united peoples. They shared a language - but it's like claiming that Ancient Greeks were a united people simply because they all spoke Greek. Sparta, Athens, Cornith etc. were independent of each other and the same is true of the kingdoms of the Hen Ogledd (the Old North) and the kingdoms of Wales. They all had a common language but also went to war with each other sometimes. Eventually, the Brittonic language began to diverge into different languages. Namely, Old Welsh and Cumbric (the language spoken in what is today Cumbria, Lancashire, Northumberland and Southern Scotland). The two languages were still very closely related but had diverged by a certain point.

At the same time this is happening, Anglo-Saxons begin to arrive in what is now Kent. They form kingdoms and the Britons living there are either displaced or become absorbed into the Anglo-Saxon populace. Then the Norse rock up and conduct viking raids around the coast before finally settling in parts of the country and forming their own territories.

So now Britain has several groups living on the island (keeping in mind even before settlement from the Anglo-Saxons and the Norse that the British kingdoms were already composed of different groups themselves). Northern Scotland was also having a time re: Picts, Gaels and Britons - but we'll gloss over that for brevity. Also, Ireland was also raiding the Welsh coast at this time too.

Then the Normans rock up and in 1066 William the Conqueror, well, conquers. More history happens after this point but I will try and keep this as brief and as non-messy as I can.

So, to recap:

One of the earliest cultures in Britain was the Bell Beaker people in the Bronze Age. They had their lands settled by the Iron Age Britons ('Celts'). Then the Romans came and the 'Celts' became Romano-Britons. After the Western Roman Empire collapses the remaining population forms kingdoms with distinct political identities. These kingdoms eventually find themselves fighting the Anglo-Saxons and the Norse. Then the Normans turn up and so on and so forth.

So- which group is the original native group to Britain? (Trick question - this question cannot be satisfactorily answered in favour of one group without leaning into claims of historicity which the other groups can also claim).

Which brings me to modern Welsh identity and those who came before.

Something I see in Welsh nationalist groups is a claim to the legacy (or even claims of direct descendance from) the Iron Age Britons (commonly called Celts for shorthand, but as I said before I'm gonna get back to that point). And this narrative is what the "Welsh people are native to Britain" argument is based off of.

It may seem like #praxis to argue the Welsh people are the true inhabitants of Britain and the English are evil invaders. But you have to make *several* logical leaps to get to that point if you're genuinely arguing that point.

For starters, many more people than just the Britons (read: Romano Britons/early Brittonic kingdoms) have called Britain home since the Early Middle Ages. For example, there's the settlement of Scotland by the Gaels, the Irish settlement of certain parts of costal Wales. You have (much later) Roma and traveller groups, Jewish diaspora and many more diverse cultures and peoples existing in Britain at this time. The Romano-British population, which developed into the Early Middle Ages kingdoms of Wales and the Hen Ogledd, was also multicultural. Many black Romans started families with white Britons. By the sub-Roman period, Britain was ethnically and culturally diverse.

But those who argue in favour of a such thing as 'Celtic ethnicity' in order to support the idea Britons (and only Britons) were native to these islands typically imagine that history as white. White Brits, white Romans, white Gaels. When we know this isn't true. Did you know that the Northernmost Ancient Egyptian temple in the world is in Yorkshire because Roman Egyptians in the military brought their religion with them? Mary Beard did a fantastic documentary about a Roman Soldier from modern day Syria who was stationed at Hadrian's Wall who started a family with a British woman. Point is, that some people like to imagine a purely white Britain that they can pine for. And I'm afraid it simply isn't true. The version of history many white supremacists look to simply didn't exist.

I'll quickly bring up one last point before I draw this to a close. And it's about Celtic as a linguistic term vs Celtic as a so-called ethnicity. You see, any first year Celtic Student would tell you that there is no such thing as 'Celts'. Crazy, I know from people studying *Celtic* studies. But hear me out - there is good reasoning why (beyond language groups) Celtic is not a good term for describing an ethnic group. Much of it relates to what I've already mentioned, but we categorise Ireland, Scotland, Wales, Mann, Cornwall and Brittany as Celtic not because of the ethnicity of the people living there (which I've mentioned is pretty diverse) but because they are all places where Celtic languages are spoken. It wasn't until Edward Llwyd (d. 1709) that the term Celtic was coined to describe these languages. Up until that point, nobody was thinking of Irish and Welsh as related because the languages do not sound like they have a common origin. By extension, people didn't think of the Welsh and Irish as being the same peoples (or Celtic) either. Its only in the modern day there is a sense of Celtic identity. The Iron Age Britons were not going around calling themselves Celts. There was no common Celtic identity. But very often people argue Celticness based on a pseudohistory which insists on a false and misleading interpretation of history. Whether or not Celticness exists now is a different matter entirely. But it sure does not rest upon race or ethnicity as a qualifier. This is quite foundational stuff to first year and above Celtic Scholars, but is not generally well known outside of academia because the misinformation is quite strong. So if you read is far, diolch mawr and please share this with anyone you think might be interested in it. Any amount of knowledge of these things would greatly improve understanding of what it means to be Welsh and what it means to speak a Celtic language.

Lastly,

all of that begs us to ask the question:

What does it mean to claim nativeness in a Western European context?

More under the cut

What does it mean to claim nativeness in a Western European context? Especially in a Western Europe post-colonialism.

It means, to me, to claim what isn't our right to claim. To argue and make our points with language that isn't ours and isn't designed to be ours. That this language of indigeneity may sound appealing, but is it improper to use this terminology when our country was directly responsible for the atrocities in which this very language became relevant?

What do we do in response to the misinterpretation of our culture instead of relying on language of indigeneity? These are the questions I want to leave you with and invite you to share your thoughts on. How do we build a Wales which advocates for itself without relying upon inaccurate language which betrays a reliance upon the ahistorical to make its point?

What kind of Wales do we want to live in?

Okay, but what kind of person would Astarion be most attracted to?

I have the image of Astarion softly confessing to Tav "you're incredible" stuck on a loop in my mind, but other than that, it actually got me thinking, just the simple way he says that and the look and yearning behind his eyes. What kind of person would he most likely perceive as such, for reasons he himself might not even understand at the beginning, couldn't resist falling in love with and be most happy & pushed to grow in an eventual relationship with? Here are some my instinctive thoughts.

(please do not get discouraged if you're basing the relationship of your MC & Astarion on different attributes & different ideas; those are only my own thoughts, propably influenced by the kind of character I'm planning to make on my Baldur's Gate playthrough.

Those are both headcanons for the first act, as well as for the official relationship parts.

And please share your thoughts if you have any, i'd be glad to compare my ideas to other people's impressions of this beautiful spawn)

Alas;

Someone joyful, proud & full of life. Astarion yearns to live and taste life on his own terms, having been denied any kind of autonomy & free will for the last two hundreds years, like he himself admits in the spawn ending; presence of someone genuinely full of life, shining, cheerful, dedicated to every small & great bliss the world can offer AND proud of it, despite their precarious situation about the whole tadpole business, would be intoxicating to him. That kind of person around would, for him, be an embodiment of everything he's been deprived of i'm Cazador's slavery; a being so fascinating in their pure, unabashed lust for joy in life, he wouldn't be able to keep them off his mind despite his best efforts.

Someone self - assured. For similar reasons as above. His trauma pushed him to depend entirely on himself & forever be in defense, from a place of terror, insecurity and loathing his past deeds. And so, I believe anyone carrying themselves with their head up high, with true confidence and class, not just masquarading bravado to mask their fear, facing everything fate throws at them with the same unrelenting attitude, would be something irresistible for him on some level. No matter if that very person was luckily spared from harsher life experiences, or traumatised as much as he had been. He would wish with all his soul he could be more like them and learn from them, perhaps even hide behind them to some degree.

Someone with fine taste. It's no surprise Astarion enjoys fine things; it would be his pleasure to be matched in his love for comfort & luxury.

Someone open, yet respectful in their everyday affections. Someone who would proudly peck him on the cheek or neck in the presence of everyone in the camp, but won't be aggressively throwing themselves into his arms each second; someone who would greet him each day with the most blissful smile or a warm embrace, but not too overly dramatic. Someone who wouldn't shy from openly referring to him in front of others in his own renditions of "my love", "my sweet" and "my darling" and who'd always keep an eye on him from the distance at camp ground to smile whenever your eyes met, but wouldn't publicly boast about every single detail between the two of you and allow him to keep his space & secrets. Somene playful, yet incredibly authentic in their feelings. All of that would provide him the so desired feeling of safety, love & genuineness, keep him amused and most importantly, provide him with a trusted learning example of how to act, express feelings & treat the other in a relationship. He might & absolutely will try to publicly brush all those affections off and go his usual suave way about it, but inside, or even openly on his face when taken off guard? His undead heart is singing with joy

Someone gentle & considerate. He surely enjoys someone with fantasy, a playful side and some art in lovemaking, but what he craves more than anything is tenderness & love. Anything you do with him in his mind delights him, and over the time he'd learn to accept it without shielding himself with sarcasm. From some minor gifts, asking for his opinion on matters he wouldn't expect to be asked about, to being considerate & delicate in intimacy, everything is such a gift to him even if he doesn't even know how to receive it & respond properly

Someone with wit. I think he would feel quite at home with someone who would at least partially share his gift for words; maybe in an entirely different manner than him, but even so someone to understand, match and carry on a conversation with him along his suave mannerism and irony.

[Thank you for your attention, might edit or add up later]

What are your thoughts on the reader and teen nanami attending an improv comedy show…

Oh this is so interesting! I am not funny, like at all, so please don't judge my terrible jokes T^T as always, its not proofread

Nanami, Haibara and you had a lot of fun planned for the weekend, but Haibara had to return home to his family. His sister had gotten a bad fever and he was worried sick about her.

So you and Nanami still went about the plans, going to the mall for some shopping and to the city center to eat, and then return to your respective dorms. The two of you hadn't hung out much without Haibara, his absence weighing you down. With Haibara it was easy to ignore how Nanami's presence made you feel, but now it was practically impossible, with him walking beside you in the mall, dressed in normie clothes.

"Hey ma'am, hey sir!" an attendant at the mall greeted you cheerfully. "We have a free of cost improv comedy session going on, would you care to join us?"

You have always loved improv comedy, watching videos on the internet, but you've never seen one in person. Besides, how bad could it get? It's not like you were wasting any money this way.

"Nanami, can we go, please?" you plead, batting your eyelashes at the blond man, who doesn't even argue.

"Thank you for joining us!" the attendant yells behind you.

"I really hope that it doesn't turn out to be a waste of time," Nanami says as you sit beside him. The room still has some empty seats, but it's a great news that there are people to see a new comedian.

"I don't think it will be," you say, scooting a little closer to him as the air conditioning sent a shiver under your skin.

The empty seats fill up quickly, and the lights are dimmed, waiting for the comedian to take the stage. You are unfamiliar with the man who comes on the stage, viewing his audience with a smile on his face. "Hey everyone! Thank you for being here. You really are helping me convince my parents that maybe I can pull this comedy thing off," He starts of with a jolly voice. "You know, after I wasted four years of my life on an engineering degree."

You chuckle, having heard something similar from plenty of comedians. the man looks over his audience, eyes flickering to a stop to someone on the other end of the room. "Oh, I have a young crowd with me. I really hope you don't get influenced by me. it's not my fault if your mum slaps you with a slipper for not wanting to go to college."

"How old even are you?" he asks the same person. "That young! Now I will feel guilty about making the jokes I had planned." The man shakes his head. "Anyways, you know I am not entirely upset that i did college. I now have more things to make jokes about. Anyone who did CS and now everyone is suddenly asking them to fix computers?"

A surprising number of people raise their hands, and you chuckle once again. Nanami fixes his bangs beside you, trying to hide his rolling eyes. But you know him too well to know what he's doing.

"My parents forbade from speaking to the opposite gender all throughout school. And now that I'm an engineer by degree, they want me to get married." He sighs. "You are too young to understand this. How many of you have partners?" a good number of people raised their hands. "And how many of parent's know?" most hands went down.

The comedian's eyes fall on the pair of you and he asks Nanami, "Hey, blond guy! Is that pretty lady your girlfriend?"

Your face heats up and you can barely look at Nanami, who has gone pink. "N-No," he manages to say.

"Your face tells me otherwise," the comedian laughs. "For those of you who cannot see, Mr. Blond Guy has turned red. The lady seems flustered too. You two did come together, right? Or did I just embarrass two strangers sitting next to each other."

"We go to the same school," You manage to say, despite your flustered state. "And we're friends."

"Miss, maybe you should ask blond guy. He seems very shy." the comedian chuckles.

"I don't think I'm her type," Nanami mumbles in a small voice, and you give him the biggest side eye you have ever given to anyone.

"Judging by the lady's reaction, I'd say you are wrong, buddy." the man laughs. "See people, please tell your friends I helped set up a relationship. If any of your friends need a wingman, please join me on my next shows."

When you leave the mall, you walk together in silence, not even getting the courage to look at him. But you bite down your fears and say, "What gave you the impression that you aren't my type?" You still don't look at him, but your hands are in front of you, trying to grasp the air. "Because then I'd have to fix that. You are exactly my type."

Oh no, you think. You may have spoken to much. "Please ignore what I just said if you don't like me back."

"I do," Nanami softy says, and you whip you head towards him, seeing a rare smile on his face. His cheeks are still dusted a light shade of pink and he looks so cute you could kiss him. "I never thought you could like me like that."

"OH you blind man," you sigh, intertwining your fingers when his hand reaches for yours. "Let's just do this again later, okay?"

"Okay," Nanami says, the smile not leaving his face.